Rank |
Caption |
Mean |
Precision |
Total votes |
"Unfunny" votes |
"Somewhat funny" votes |
"Funny" votes |
0 |
I dreamt last night that some day judges might just require a small plastic bracelet |
2.0328 |
0.02299 |
61 |
0 |
59 |
2 |
1 |
They’re known for their unconditional love. |
2.0278 |
0.01950 |
72 |
0 |
70 |
2 |
2 |
It's called a "pet." |
2.0134 |
0.00946 |
149 |
0 |
147 |
2 |
3 |
I know he's extinct. Try telling him that. |
2.0116 |
0.00820 |
172 |
0 |
170 |
2 |
4 |
Do you guys remember the code for the alarm? |
2.0102 |
0.00720 |
196 |
0 |
194 |
2 |
5 |
I'm considered a flight risk. |
2.0094 |
0.00948 |
106 |
0 |
105 |
1 |
6 |
Cave arrest isn't as comfy as I thought it would be |
2.0091 |
0.00641 |
220 |
0 |
218 |
2 |
7 |
I don't think this "pet" thing will ever catch on. |
2.0089 |
0.00630 |
224 |
0 |
222 |
2 |
8 |
Sure it hurts, but that’s fashion. |
2.0061 |
0.00615 |
163 |
0 |
162 |
1 |
9 |
I was hoping for more of an emotional attachment. |
2.0051 |
0.00509 |
197 |
0 |
196 |
1 |
10 |
Only if I think about it. |
2.0046 |
0.00462 |
217 |
0 |
216 |
1 |
11 |
I parked in a toe-away zone. |
2.0043 |
0.00436 |
230 |
0 |
229 |
1 |
12 |
He's very clingy. |
2.0042 |
0.00423 |
237 |
0 |
236 |
1 |
13 |
He's very attached. |
2.0042 |
0.00421 |
238 |
0 |
237 |
1 |
14 |
we all seem to have one eye |
2.0000 |
0.00434 |
231 |
0 |
231 |
0 |
15 |
My security system has a few glitches. |
2.0000 |
0.00749 |
134 |
0 |
134 |
0 |
16 |
I couldn't afford a fitbit. |
2.0000 |
0.00554 |
181 |
0 |
181 |
0 |
17 |
Mental note. Don’t say “bite me”to a literalsaurus. |
2.0000 |
0.00583 |
172 |
0 |
172 |
0 |
18 |
My wife got a matching bracelet. |
2.0000 |
0.01067 |
133 |
1 |
131 |
1 |
19 |
Frankly he hasn't grasped the concept of 'heel' yet. |
1.9960 |
0.00402 |
249 |
1 |
248 |
0 |
20 |
I can't wait until they invent a leash. |
1.9958 |
0.00418 |
240 |
1 |
239 |
0 |
21 |
He's still teething. He'll evolve out of it. |
1.9958 |
0.00418 |
240 |
1 |
239 |
0 |
22 |
These new ankle monitors are barely noticeable |
1.9955 |
0.00451 |
222 |
1 |
221 |
0 |
23 |
Some extictions can't come soon enough. |
1.9951 |
0.00491 |
204 |
1 |
203 |
0 |
24 |
Nothing much, what's up with you two? |
1.9921 |
0.00791 |
127 |
1 |
126 |
0 |
25 |
He's been extinct for 65 million years so I'm just as surprised to see him as you are. |
1.9908 |
0.00647 |
218 |
2 |
216 |
0 |
26 |
The wife wanted a dog, but those won’t be domesticated for another 3,000 years. |
1.9907 |
0.00656 |
215 |
2 |
213 |
0 |
27 |
No, go without me I shouldn't ignore this gnawing feeling. |
1.9900 |
0.01005 |
100 |
1 |
99 |
0 |
28 |
The teething is killing me. |
1.9897 |
0.00727 |
194 |
2 |
192 |
0 |
29 |
I brought him home to eat, but I think he misunderstood. |
1.9861 |
0.00979 |
144 |
2 |
142 |
0 |
30 |
It was a lot cuter as a puppy |
1.9854 |
0.01028 |
137 |
2 |
135 |
0 |
31 |
He's been clingy ever since that asteroid last week. |
1.9706 |
0.02985 |
34 |
1 |
33 |
0 |
32 |
The fines don’t even cover feeding the ankle monitor... |
1.9706 |
0.02985 |
34 |
1 |
33 |
0 |
33 |
I didn't mind so much when he was smaller. |
1.9649 |
0.02459 |
57 |
2 |
55 |
0 |
34 |
Right now we're both trying the Paleo thing. |
1.9565 |
0.03040 |
46 |
2 |
44 |
0 |
35 |
It's my fault. I told him never to bite strangers. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
36 |
An anachronism would be better than a dog, I thought. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
37 |
He gets so clingy during hibernation season. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
38 |
I'm under house arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
39 |
This cave could have cost me an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
40 |
Don't worry, he doesn't really use his teeth. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
41 |
Judge says I have to wear it for six months and can’t leave the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
42 |
He does get a bit nippy at times. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
43 |
The tax collector is starting to really clamp down. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
44 |
That's my personal ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
45 |
It's the latest in house arrest homing devices for offenders who need to get a grip. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
46 |
Acupuncture. It's the latest healing trend. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
47 |
Thank goodness he's a leg guy. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
48 |
Meteor showers make Dino so insecure. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
49 |
Well, that's one less mouth to feed. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
50 |
I do wish he'd make up his mind. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
51 |
Didn’t you guys read the invite? It’s formal only. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
52 |
I'm still working on the concept, but I want to call it an anklet. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
53 |
What do you mean don't worry? What do you mean "bark"? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
54 |
He gets really attached when I have guests over! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
55 |
We're Creationists. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
56 |
A herbivore, the hell he is. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
57 |
I ran out of Iguanadon biscuits. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
58 |
Sorry, I can't hunt and gather with you today. This ankle monitor does't come off until next week. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
59 |
I’d be in jail now if it weren’t for my ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
60 |
I'm under house arrest and this is my ankle monitor, Gronk. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
61 |
I wonder what they're putting in pet food these days... |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
62 |
Imprinting? I have a different word for it! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
63 |
Love goes where my Rosemary goes |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
64 |
Yes, it’s a rare form of Reactive Attachment Disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
65 |
I found him down by the river. Actually, he found me. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
66 |
I don't think we are in Arkansas anymore. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
67 |
I see your pet has developed a taste for me. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
68 |
Hunting with a conscience takes a personal commitment. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
69 |
This is a new liberated prisoner monitoring device that we are trying out. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
70 |
He is way more affectionate now compared to when I first picked him out at the pound. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
71 |
He loves my ankles |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
72 |
As you might have surmised, not the answer to life. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
73 |
Enlightenment is two peaks over. This is posture. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
74 |
At least I didn't get real jail time. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
75 |
Me have idea for bear trap. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
76 |
It looks worse than it is m. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
77 |
Yeah, but the judge says I can stay out of jail if I wear it until the trial starts. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
78 |
The car's totaled, and jaws of life my ass. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
79 |
My husband is such a control freak. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
80 |
Steggie has separation issues. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
81 |
He's still evolving as a watchdog. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
82 |
My husband likes to play fetch with us. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
83 |
I would really like to go out but, I'm dragging. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
84 |
I should buy more prosthetic legs on Black Friday! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
85 |
I've eaten muffins and lasagna every day of my life, and I feel terrible. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
86 |
House arrest still beats prison. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
87 |
I swear she's box trained |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
88 |
Will he draw me on the wall? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
89 |
The previous owner suffered from paranoia. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
90 |
He’s causing my anxiety of not becoming separated! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
91 |
Ouch! Ouch? It's a new word but an appropirate one. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
92 |
Is this Codependents Anonymous? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
93 |
In these times, core stability is bliss. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
94 |
The shelter says he has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
95 |
the first person to become a Leg end |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
96 |
I'd love to join you, but Trixie hates to be left home alone. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
97 |
I'd never recommend adopting a Attachosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
98 |
Don't worry, Mom. I've got an extra one. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
99 |
It is totally domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
100 |
My lawyer said it’s this or go to prison |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
101 |
He followed me home. Let's eat him. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
102 |
It's an Anklebracelodon. The judge ordered me to wear him during my parole. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
103 |
he's still cutting his teeth |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
104 |
You should try it. It’s very exfoliating. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
105 |
He always tells me we are inseparable |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
106 |
I told you he ate my homework. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
107 |
Got pulled over on the mammoth for a DWI |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
108 |
What lizard? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
109 |
I still prefer cave-arrest to the alternative. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
110 |
I like my ankle bracelet, but looking forward to the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
111 |
I guess I should a Stegosautus whisperer before he grows up. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
112 |
I should’ve tried to domesticate a bird first. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
113 |
Amazing. Just last week he was a vegetarian. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
114 |
My experience suggests that house arrest is not as preferable as it sounds. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
115 |
ever since I killed his mother to have her for my family’s dinner last week, he has latched on to me & won’t let go. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
116 |
Who is your home security company? One of a few that offer services with some teeth to it. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
117 |
3 weeks house arrest is not bad for underage clubbing. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
118 |
"Shake a leg, Erma; let's get going!: |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
119 |
I just got an idea about how to trap that big furry animal. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
120 |
He has attachment issue |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
121 |
He gets bored when I come home late. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
122 |
Thanks for coming over. Harry's a beast when he's sick; I just couldn't get away. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
123 |
So, how's the pet training going? |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
124 |
Ths will be my last rescue dragon... |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
125 |
It's better than Rikers. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
126 |
It’s the newest model of home confinement ankle bracelets. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
127 |
This is rather uncomfortable, it would be dashing if one of you chaps can help with the amelioration of my predicament. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
128 |
He tried going vegan for a week. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
129 |
...he followed me all the way home from school! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
130 |
yes, he's cute, good company, the kids like him but overall I would't recommend getting one. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
131 |
And I call this invention the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
132 |
You should try to catch up. It's the latest in house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
133 |
He'll sit and watch Hannibal Lector movies for hours. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
134 |
Believe me now or hear me later, girls: cave arrest sucks. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
135 |
I am under house arrest and I have wear this ankle monitor the whole time. It really bites. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
136 |
Cave arrest, just til my foot falls off. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
137 |
Would someone hurry up and invent the ball already? |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
138 |
Don't worry, it's just the way she shows her affection. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
139 |
It's an ankle monitor. The judge gave me three months of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
140 |
It's called an anklet... |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
141 |
Sorry guys, the wife’s got me under house arrest again. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
142 |
I was told this would cure my warts. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
143 |
My initial aim was to make boots |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
144 |
They call him "cave arrest." |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
145 |
I'm under house arrest, this is my ankle Monitor Lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
146 |
He's not very bright, but at least he doesn't shed. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
147 |
Well, this won’t feel good in the morning. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
148 |
i know, the wife still has me under house arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
149 |
She‘s such a footie. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
150 |
He's angry because he found out he is our main course for our holiday dinner! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
151 |
The Judge got mad and order I wear an ankle bracelet |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
152 |
It's not the best mouser I've ever had. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
153 |
It’s what everybody’s wearing. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
154 |
The good news is I got my parole. I just have to wear this ankle monitor for the next three months! |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
155 |
If he goes, I go. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
156 |
He was only a foster, but we grew so attached. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
157 |
Yes, he’s been vaccinated. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
158 |
But you only said that I couldn't get a tattoo on my ankle. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
159 |
Inventing fire seemed much easier than domesticating pets. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
160 |
I've raised him since he chewed his way out of my roommate's chest. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
161 |
It’s an Ankle-iSaw |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
162 |
The vet said it’s separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
163 |
Sorry, I can't go out, my ankle monitor will go off |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
164 |
It's part of my probation restrictions. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
165 |
I got it at the artisanal butcher. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
166 |
Now, Janet from HR will see you |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
167 |
It's a condition of my probation. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
168 |
My new invention, I call it the Denver boot. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
169 |
But he was a rescue and already cave trained. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
170 |
Not fake news, not fake news...You are my witness. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
171 |
I was trying to teach it to kneel |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
172 |
It's a chair for me and a toy for the goats, I love Amazon. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
173 |
I just wish he would switch legs once in a while. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
174 |
He must smell my Triceratops. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
175 |
It's the goddamn mortgage lender. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
176 |
House arrest 101 |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
177 |
His obedience trainer says his behavior will evolve over time. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
178 |
It's not what you think... I dragged him here. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
179 |
See what happens when you feed her table scraps? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
180 |
He likes me. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
181 |
Can you bring me the stegosaurus treats, please? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
182 |
He just followed me home - can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
183 |
We knew our marriage would raise eyebrows but who knew she'd be so possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
184 |
I'll tell you ladies in a few years these "Ankle Biters" will be all the rage! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
185 |
Cup of tea? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
186 |
He's my therapy reptile. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
187 |
And to think, just last week the cat had his tongue. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
188 |
I need to invent another way to say “mind me.” |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
189 |
perhaps if you guys try scratching his back ! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
190 |
He finds my independence threatening. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
191 |
I think I forgot to feed him today. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
192 |
On the bright side, he's stopped chewing on the stalagmites. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
193 |
He's just started Obedience School. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
194 |
They make all the pledges do it mom, don't worry. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
195 |
It didn't like the look in my eye. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
196 |
I have something to tell you... |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
197 |
As I understand it, if she drags me back to her cave, she'll claim me as her man. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
198 |
House arrest really isn't as bad as I thought it would be. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
199 |
We haven’t had him long but he’s aleady so attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
200 |
If I leave the cave, it alerts my parole officer. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
201 |
It has to go out in order to be cave trained |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
202 |
She can't seem to let go of me. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
203 |
I'll this one "Leggosaurus" |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
204 |
when I tried ti leave the all/night bar, someting snapped. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
205 |
When does his species goes extinct? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
206 |
It's OK, I'm attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
207 |
Someone call 911 |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
208 |
I couldn’t post enough rocks for bail so they made me wear an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
209 |
I tell ya, cave arrest isn’t really all that bad. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
210 |
It is what it is. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
211 |
From beyond the grave, Winston Churchill is screaming at the two bystanders, "An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last." |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
212 |
Unsuccesful early Poodle prototypes. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
213 |
They were out of alligator shoes. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
214 |
Call me Ishmael! |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
215 |
are you sure he's not pulling your leg? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
216 |
You guys wanna try too? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
217 |
We’re sticking with Dog |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
218 |
He's really very friendly and nice to have around |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
219 |
Oh yeah, it's way cool. Got it on E-Bay. Amazon was sold out |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
220 |
I wish I could go. But I'm on house arrest until criminal justice reform becomes a thing. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
221 |
I chose the ankle monitor over being dragged and clubbed. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
222 |
I'm hoping it will evolve into something soft and cuddly. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
223 |
I forgot the password to our alarm system. The third time this week this has happened. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
224 |
Housebroken. Guards cave. Give you cheap. Did I say housebroken? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
225 |
Yeah right, your T-rex doesn't bite, that's what they all say until it does. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
226 |
I’m on cave arrest for two months. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
227 |
It's only his deep seated letting go issues. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
228 |
I told him to heel but I think he heard meal |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
229 |
This is only a prototype; I'm convinced there's a market for a smaller anklet. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
230 |
There are still some bugs to work out of this 'alligator shoes' idea. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
231 |
The pet store said he was a herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
232 |
You'll hardly notice him after a while." |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
233 |
Harold suffers from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
234 |
A little aggravation now, a lot of meat for the winter later. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
235 |
Once he evolves, he’ll be more chicken |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
236 |
He just wants my undivided attention. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
237 |
The pet experts say that whether it's poop on the floor or an amputated leg, its your fault not the bloodosuarus's. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
238 |
It's part of my plea agreement; If I go any further than twenty feet from my cave opening, he'll eat me. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
239 |
This is the thanks I get for being Vegan. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
240 |
House arrest isn't so bad. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
241 |
It's ok. It's his way of showing affection. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
242 |
It bit me so hard I'm seeing single. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
243 |
It's just a phase, he'll evolve out of it soon. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
244 |
Sorry, but we're dino-ing in tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
245 |
His psychoanalyst suggested avoiding eye contact. Could you please avert your eyes? |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
246 |
"I can't wait until they invent dino kindergarten". |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
247 |
I think we need to invent WD40, he squeaks. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
248 |
I'm attempting to come-up with a demeaning and very biased Trump cartoon. Seems there is one or two in every 'New Yorker'. Give it a rest! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
249 |
He's robotic. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
250 |
Yeah, six months house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
251 |
Can I get you a drink or should we just have a bite? |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
252 |
He's a rescue animal. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
253 |
Claims he's been to the future and that this move will evolve into something called a bear trap. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
254 |
Looks like they put me on house arrest again. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
255 |
All the kids are doing it. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
256 |
How come it took you two so long to get here? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
257 |
Don't mind him. He's just feeling a little insecure. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
258 |
My man says it's called "Denver boot." When I asked for leather boots for Winter Solstice, I was expecting something else. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
259 |
Come in, he is very friendly -- he's just acting up to impress you. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
260 |
Don't worry, the ambulance will be here in a couple of millennia |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
261 |
In a hundred and fifty thousand years this will all make sense |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
262 |
It is cave man style. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
263 |
Sorry, guys. Ankle bracelet for 90 days. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
264 |
My attorney says I’ll only have to wear it til my appeal |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
265 |
He says he will let go when he becomes extinct, not before. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
266 |
Damned if I do a cave painting of him! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
267 |
Until today everyone thought it was extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
268 |
If it wasn't an anachronism, I'd give him a chew toy. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
269 |
Have you considered a slip collar? |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
270 |
Luckily, the ankle monitor comes off next week. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
271 |
Son, there's something wrong with your girlfriend. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
272 |
He just learned that dinosaurs are extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
273 |
Ever since I got bitten by the neighbor’s T-Rex, he doesn’t want me to leave. First world problems, right? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
274 |
He's only two! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
275 |
It's her way of relating. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
276 |
We were told he would be a great door stop, whatever that is. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
277 |
We have to find a better way of getting food. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
278 |
It's an expression of endearment. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
279 |
I'm going to take Rex out for his evening limp. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
280 |
I get this ankle monitor lizard off in three months for good behavior. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
281 |
Guess we caught our meal of the day |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
282 |
No worries Norm. He will go extinct soon. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
283 |
When he asked to be my pet I said he must be pulling my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
284 |
The Humane Society and police are experimenting with a new ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
285 |
"He's a rescue dinosaur". |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
286 |
I can't complain, we won't be going on walks for a while. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
287 |
He finally latched on. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
288 |
I just know that someday the police will develop a better ankle bracelet.. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
289 |
I chose house arrest over incarceration. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
290 |
We’re still negotiating the roommate agreement. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
291 |
I'm so over this 'pets' craze. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
292 |
I followed him home -- can he keep me? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
293 |
We got the little fella at the petting zoo, really cheap! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
294 |
I don't mind. It soothes her anxiety! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
295 |
And he just graduated from Ceasar’s Training school! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
296 |
No, it is not a friendly dinopet. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
297 |
It's not so bad, ... you get used to him and besides I'm losing weight just dragging him around. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
298 |
When I asked for the ankle bracelet monitoring option I had no idea how much harder it would be. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
299 |
I asked to see something in an alligator boot, but this is the only thing they had. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
300 |
My doctor said my condition was 'the heartbreak of psoriasisaurus' and that with the right creams, it should go away in a couple of days. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
301 |
Legadillo? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
302 |
The council put me on house arrest for poaching. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
303 |
As you can see, this scissor is defective... |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
304 |
I’m never stepping foot in his man cave again. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
305 |
He gets upset when I walk upright. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
306 |
I'm telling you...I really think crocodile will be "in" this season. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
307 |
He's still got some problems, but at least he's house-broken. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
308 |
They'll be easier to remove after they've involved into ticks. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
309 |
He doesn't break my skin. He loves me so much he won't let go. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
310 |
Did you bring the ham ? I've got the green egg. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
311 |
Cave arrest for rock market manipulation... |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
312 |
I still think it's better than fire. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
313 |
Oh, he's teething - hurts him more than me. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
314 |
Apparently “caveman’s best friend” is the best evolution can do so far. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
315 |
It's my court ordered cave confinement device. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
316 |
That's rover. Don't mind him, he's just going thru his 'teething' stage. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
317 |
Why didn't you just get a dog? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
318 |
Sorry i’m late , I was booted in one of those new “no clubbing zones” |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
319 |
Yeah, house arrest for another week. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
320 |
You know what a new pet is like. It chews on everything. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
321 |
You'll have to be careful, we've got a couple little ankle-biters running around the house |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
322 |
I see now he wants to be adopted but coming here, thought he was pulling my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
323 |
He's like an ankle bracelet, but I still can't leave the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
324 |
There just has to be a better way to catch them. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
325 |
Can't join you, I have to wear this monitor lizard until my house arrest is up. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
326 |
I can't go walking with you today, I have a sore ankle. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
327 |
Cave confinement. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
328 |
I know you said no returns, could we make a deal? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
329 |
I'm under house arrest, that's why. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
330 |
Only one more week of this house arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
331 |
How well it matches your outfit! It's definitely THE accessory this season |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
332 |
Eureka! Let's create a ball and chain! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
333 |
It has nothing to do with the meaning of life. It's just more comfortable than sitting on rocks. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
334 |
As soon as veterinary science is invented, he's going for a checkup. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
335 |
they're finally making these ankle monitors a lot smaller |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
336 |
We had a minor disagreement over house training. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
337 |
You two take positions on each side of the road, and act natural. Dino and I will take care of the rest. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
338 |
I have to wear it. I'm under Cave-Arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
339 |
Chompers replaced the bouncers. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
340 |
So far, he's bitten off more than he can chew. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
341 |
Cave arrest never gets lonely with the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
342 |
The judge put an ankle monitor lizard on me until my trial. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
343 |
He's really friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
344 |
We are still training him. He's a rescue dinosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
345 |
He might just be teasing. He either winked or blinked. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
346 |
It saves buying a razor, but it's not quite as smooth. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
347 |
Well, at least he's had his incantations. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
348 |
Chief said I must have this attached for 3 moons, due to the "fish incident". |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
349 |
It's how he let's me know that he is hungry. I don't have much time. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
350 |
I hope you brought something to eat. I think he's hungry. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
351 |
I better stay in, Steggie needs me today. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
352 |
You have to suffer for your art. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
353 |
Honey, don't you think its time to get that looked at |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
354 |
after 2017 i'll fucking take it :/ |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
355 |
Don’t worry. My companion dinosaur likes visitors. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
356 |
This house arrest thing really sucks. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
357 |
He has separation anxiety complex. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
358 |
Don't worry... He won't bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
359 |
I call it Lassie. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
360 |
I'm teaching him to "Heel" by successive approximation. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
361 |
So sorry, honestly, this is the first time, he’s always great with strangers. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
362 |
Since it's in season I thought why not prepare it with my own infusion. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
363 |
You say goodbye, I say hello |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
364 |
My bad, I knew I shouldn’t have read him a story about cave men. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
365 |
The Cave Lizard Whisperer says its okay to let him nibble. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
366 |
He still has trouble with the 'fetch' command. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
367 |
Check out my electronic tagosaurus! |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
368 |
I call it a dinodoodle. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
369 |
I said "needs to be domesticated...not Domesticathesaurus". |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
370 |
Prehistoric house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
371 |
Sorry, I can't go out. I'm on strict house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
372 |
Can't leave cave for three suns. Too much fire water and wheel rolling. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
373 |
Our new alarm system just passed its test. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
374 |
At least I don't have to remember where I parked it. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
375 |
I didn't think the first step to domestication would be quite this painful |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
376 |
He has severe separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
377 |
At my age it's just nice to be wanted. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
378 |
House arrest is such a drag. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
379 |
We're finding he's only somewhat domesticated for a designer blend...they called him a "Raptor Stega-doodle." |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
380 |
My insurance doesn't cover prehistoric conditions. |
1.0000 |
0.00026 |
3829 |
3829 |
0 |
0 |
381 |
I'm not avoiding you, it just that these house arrest ankle bracelets make it difficult to get around. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
382 |
OH! You stepped in one of those self gnawing traps!? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
383 |
He’s just showin’ his love. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
384 |
Ladies, I've invented the alligator shoe. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
385 |
. . . and then I jumped on a TRex to try to escape but the cops had me cornered. Dude! You do not want to drink too much of that fermented purple liquid stuff! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
386 |
I can't come, I'm under court ordered cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
387 |
He likes me. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
388 |
Can you lend me a leg to stand on. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
389 |
I told her we needed to start seeing other people. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
390 |
He thinks the drawing makes him look fat. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
391 |
Don’t worry its a herbivore |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
392 |
Do you think I need to buy an extra seat in coach? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
393 |
It might release me if you give it a leg of lamb. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
394 |
I have to wear this until my bail hearing. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
395 |
They generally make good pets, but I think he’s evolving into a carnivore. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
396 |
Calm assertive energy is the energy you project to show your pet you are the Pack Leader. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
397 |
One good thing about these parasites is that they’re very detectable. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
398 |
We're having a problem coëxisting. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
399 |
WebMD said it's callled Gout. I just don't know. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
400 |
I told him the Jurassic was over, but he just wouldn't let go! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
401 |
They told me he was housebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
402 |
Fine. So I'm a little attached to her. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
403 |
We're having a bit of lockjaw. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
404 |
He suffers from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
405 |
I'm a yogi, not a guru. Google it. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
406 |
I'm on house trained arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
407 |
... rodents of unusual size. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
408 |
I'd say something funny but he ate my caption. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
409 |
Hey, thanks for visiting me while I'm on probation. I can't leave the cave since I got this ankle monitor, and yeah, it's been pretty lonely. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
410 |
The leeches didn't seem to be working for me. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
411 |
His favorite treat is Legos. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
412 |
I told you getting a pet from the shelter wasn't a good idea. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
413 |
Dinner's going to be a bit longer than I said. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
414 |
Hey, no one said looking good was easy |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
415 |
He wants to know if I can come over for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
416 |
I hate this darn ankle monitor. Let me into the cave, I think he eats bats. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
417 |
On a whim, I thought I'd teach him how to "follow." |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
418 |
I never should have listened to you about the Dino Whisperer |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
419 |
It's not as bad as it looks. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
420 |
Don’t mind him; he’s just mad I took away his T-Rex bone. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
421 |
She just loves chewing my leg, but it's just one of those friendly gestures between us girls. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
422 |
Don't worry he won't bite you... hard. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
423 |
He really wants me to stay home tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
424 |
Don't wait for me ! I need to fix my cave alarm. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
425 |
Rover doesn't like his petroglyphs. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
426 |
I’m about to invent a word, OUCH! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
427 |
Unfortunately the dinopoodle won't be domesticated for a few centuries. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
428 |
The training is going well - so far he's learned 'heel.' |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
429 |
Ever since the election he won't let me go out. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
430 |
He's a rescue pup so I'm not sure I should train. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
431 |
Oh for the days of a ball and chain |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
432 |
I've been sandaled for my unpaid tickets. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
433 |
I had enough. We should buy a real pacifier for our baby pet. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
434 |
I'm selling Cutco cutlery while working toward my Anthropology Masters Degree. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
435 |
Sorry, I’ll have to cancel movie night ... separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
436 |
I thought I'd shed some light on my "failure to launch." |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
437 |
He needs chewables other than me. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
438 |
This is just his way of telling us he wants his dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
439 |
I taught him to heal. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
440 |
I'm afraid I'll have to call a sub for today's bridge game |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
441 |
My parole officer says I wear it for all six months of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
442 |
Thats it?! All you need is a green ball?!!!! |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
443 |
There was no warning on the label. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
444 |
He's not fully trained yet. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
445 |
Cave canem. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
446 |
He's court-ordered for a year, but you get used to it pretty quick. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
447 |
My vegetarianism is not reciprocated. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
448 |
Good news.......it's not extinct! |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
449 |
There may be some lingering resentment. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
450 |
He says his owner is some guy named Sanders. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
451 |
I call it a sock gator. Next, I will invent socks. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
452 |
He's really helpful with late night munchies. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
453 |
He does this when he's hungry |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
454 |
"Oh, it's just a mild personality disorder". |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
455 |
Got a grant for a new study I call Domestication - it's my first day! |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
456 |
He’s a rescue. He came this way. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
457 |
If we all close our eyes will this not be real? |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
458 |
He has separation anxiety and food aggression. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
459 |
It’s the latest GPS tracking device! |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
460 |
Pity...the rabies vaccine won't be available for centuries |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
461 |
I now regret inventing the anklet. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
462 |
But he purrs so sweetly! |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
463 |
Can you imagine a society where each person chips in a little bit so that everyone is covered when this happens? |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
464 |
I was told alligator was "in" this season. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
465 |
I hope you have health insurance |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
466 |
After awhile you get used to it. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
467 |
Unfortunately the vicious reptile jaw extractor tool has not yet been invented. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
468 |
I delivered the mail to his cave at 10:00 AM and had to drag him the whole rest of my route. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
469 |
It was a double dinosaur dare. What else was I supposed to do? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
470 |
I thought that he was with you? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
471 |
He's only completed the intermediate obedience class. We have the advanced class next week. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
472 |
It's new. I call it "petulant." Pet, for short. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
473 |
Isn't he cute?! We're really attached below the hip! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
474 |
Mom, Dad, may keep him - he's really attached to me? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
475 |
The shelter said its separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
476 |
I met someone this morning during my daily swim at the club. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
477 |
Yup, the ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
478 |
No jail time but I have six more months with the ankle monitor lizard |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
479 |
You've got a great game concept here, but next time try throwing a stick instead. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
480 |
He isn't yet cave-broken. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
481 |
What would Fred Flintstone have done? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
482 |
We're still hoping he'll evolve into a cat. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
483 |
These new lizard shoes are uncomfortable at first but very stylish. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
484 |
Her coach is working with her on her separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
485 |
It’s so I don’t skip bail. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
486 |
Tribunal order. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
487 |
It’s a monitor for my house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
488 |
The upside is that he leaves my shoes alone. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
489 |
He's anxious whenever I leave the cave... |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
490 |
He followed me home from school. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
491 |
I said it's 'crunch time' - Shake a leg, will ya?! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
492 |
It’s a little awkward, but at-home monitoring sure beats the alternative. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
493 |
I don't think I'm in real danger until did I don't think I'm in real danger until it digests Marvin. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
494 |
It was this or Rikers. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
495 |
I'm trying out a new symbiotic relationship. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
496 |
You wouldn't believe how cute it used to be. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
497 |
The judge gave me 30 days cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
498 |
So, sourpuss...what's biting you? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
499 |
Your messenger got a hold of us but we have to kill him. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
500 |
The Elders put this thing on me until the council meeting next week. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
501 |
He self identifies as canine. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
502 |
He means well. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
503 |
Alice’s separation anxiety was beginning to show. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
504 |
This is what we call ‘disorganized attachment’. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
505 |
Now that your Buffy and Muffy have died off, my Tuffy is getting clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
506 |
Being under "cave arrest" was not as easy as I thought it would be. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
507 |
I'm under house arrest. I get to eat my ankle bracelet when I'm released. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
508 |
He is hinting he wants to be fed |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
509 |
He assures me this will be a breakthrough paleontological discovery in the millenia to come. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
510 |
I can’t seem to shake this tingling sensation in my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
511 |
It was this or six months in prison. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
512 |
Trixie has a touch of stranger anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
513 |
All i said was 'hey presto'. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
514 |
Only 9 months and 17 days till my probation ends -- and not a day too soon. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
515 |
I’m just thankful I don’t have to go through this alone. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
516 |
Porcupineded. Future will know it as 'cuckolded' or ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
517 |
They call it attachment parenting. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
518 |
"Sorry I can't go out tonight, I've got to look after the ankle-biter". |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
519 |
Do you think I'll need to have it surgically removed? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
520 |
Have we invented time yet? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
521 |
Socrates didn't warn me about this. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
522 |
I had considered going out with you ladies, but then, I caved! |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
523 |
It's called "cave arrest" mom, and believe me, it's a thousand times better than doing time at the Rock. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
524 |
It's a lot cheaper than a leash. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
525 |
Don't worry, it just separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
526 |
Komodo, and I’ve been draggin’ him around all day. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
527 |
It's a condition of bail. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
528 |
You were right. I should have gotten married. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
529 |
He's really very friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
530 |
Parole's going okay, and next Tuesday I will be able to leave the encampment. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
531 |
We've been working on distraction training. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
532 |
It's an evolving relationship. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
533 |
He does this since Marge left. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
534 |
Okay, I'm sorry I said my ankle-biter is cuter than any in your brood. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
535 |
I'm on house arrest until T. Rex decides what to do with me. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
536 |
Sorry I can't make it out. The old lady has been gnawing at me lately. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
537 |
Welp, I guess I'm stuck here for another year! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
538 |
Sorry, I'm under house arrest and I can't leave my cave |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
539 |
Sorry, he gets possessive around Neanderthals. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
540 |
It was Bound to happen |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
541 |
Yah, years of inbreeding is a problem, but he almost has 'heel' down. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
542 |
It's not Weejuns, but he is very comfortable once you get past the vice grip. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
543 |
And I thought the yapping was gonna get to me! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
544 |
Wait till you see her when she's hungry. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
545 |
This is his idea of a chastity belt. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
546 |
Spike's separation anxiety is a bit challenging! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
547 |
He's a republican... |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
548 |
I've been placed under cave arrest with an ankle monitor that detects tampering. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
549 |
Maybe I won't be able to solve it in my lifetime but I know there's a connection. And if not me, then my son, or another Darwin somewhere down the line, will figure it out... |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
550 |
You said your pet doesn't bite!" "He's not our pet. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
551 |
It still needs to be cooked. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
552 |
Let’s try that wolf we saw at our garbage dump. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
553 |
He's the ankle monitor for my house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
554 |
My mother always said she didn’t like the way he looked at me. But did I listen? I was so flattered that he always complimented me for my beautiful legs. Now I know that he just sees me as a piece of meat. Men can be such beasts! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
555 |
He doesn’t realize that the Paleo diet is just a fad. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
556 |
Thanks for the visit. Being under Cave Arrest is a real pain. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
557 |
I can’t find my leash. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
558 |
It's nothing serious, he just wants a walk |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
559 |
I'm rooting for the meteor. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
560 |
Yeah, he imprinted with me when he was born but now we have a failure to launch! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
561 |
We got a new security system and we're still trying to figure out how to work it. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
562 |
Oh, don't worry. It's just a nip... |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
563 |
Sorry guys I cant leave, I got six months cave arrest |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
564 |
He's just acting out. His mother was last night's entree. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
565 |
"He's a clinger, but he's house broken". He's a clinger, but he's house broken'. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
566 |
Sorry, I can't today, I'm still on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
567 |
And he's so playful and cute and I just love him and his name is Phineas. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
568 |
My parole officer is sensitive to social stigma, so he lobbied hard to get me the slim model. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
569 |
What happened to my dog! |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
570 |
He ran out of pterodactyl wings so I guess he's settling for legs now. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
571 |
Ankle biter? No, she has higher aspirations than that. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
572 |
It's my latest invention, the bear trap. Now I just need to invent the bear! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
573 |
This motherhood thing is tough. Little Dino has entered the separation anxiety phase and he's turned me into his permanent object. But it is really nice that you two dropped by to see me. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
574 |
It's only a prototype. I haven't developed an effective release yet. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
575 |
I can't partner with you, I'm already bound by a thorny contract with a binding clause. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
576 |
He’s having difficulty sticking to the Paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
577 |
It's supposed to stop me from stealing. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
578 |
It’s just separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
579 |
Oh, don’t mind Buster. He is just in his oral phase. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
580 |
I get the ankle tether off next week. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
581 |
she is a bit possessive |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
582 |
It's ok. He's been chomping at the bit to go outside. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
583 |
It's something new called "House Arrest". |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
584 |
I told him he was extinct! |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
585 |
Yeh ! apparently it's a new law enforcement development, tagging they said. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
586 |
I call him my chief strategist. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
587 |
I'm under house arrest for blowing smoke. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
588 |
He hates it when I go to play Mahjong. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
589 |
Mom and Dad, I promise I'll feed him and rub his scales every day! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
590 |
Sorry I can't join your dinosaur roast...I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
591 |
You're still not in compliance with the leash law! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
592 |
Just remember that as we head into 2018 our job is still to 'Resist" even if annoying obstacles are encountered from time to time. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
593 |
He's been very attached to me ever since he was weaned. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
594 |
Judge Og gave me three weeks of cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
595 |
We.....well me more than him.....would like to know how to remove an animal whose clamped on to a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
596 |
My ankylosaurus is teething.” |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
597 |
Her bark is worse than her bite. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
598 |
Honest, he followed me home. Can I keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
599 |
His bite is much worse than his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
600 |
His has already cost me an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
601 |
He's afraid I will leave him alone. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
602 |
In their culture, it's an engagement deposit. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
603 |
Well, at least he's not chewing on the new stone couch anymore. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
604 |
The judge gave me 30 days cave incarceration. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
605 |
He's cave trained well, but won't let me go near the spear. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
606 |
...ankylosaurus monitor, 3 days of parole left. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
607 |
So I avoided jail time, but I gotta be on house arrest for the next 6 months. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
608 |
Don't yell at him, whatever you do. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
609 |
I promised I'd be more tolerant but now I'm not so sure. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
610 |
Next question stupid! |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
611 |
And he calls me a ball and chain! And he calls me a ball and chain! TimothySmith |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
612 |
I don't think Lenny is a herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
613 |
I haven't been able to take a walk in ages. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
614 |
Just watch: I will train my stegosaurus to behave better than the great leader. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
615 |
And at least we don't have any furniture. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
616 |
I went to Court today and they let me out with an Ankle Bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
617 |
I wanted to leave him at home, but he has attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
618 |
I finally got the spot right in front of my cave. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
619 |
He no longer jumps and tries to lick my face. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
620 |
It's in-cave detentiion |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
621 |
They've just invented plastic so your new ankle monitor will probably be more comfortable. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
622 |
He keeps smearing my pictures, but my calves look great. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
623 |
Sometimes we get a little too close to our pets, don't we? |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
624 |
He’s toilet trained, but I haven’t invented a muzzle for him yet. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
625 |
that's a real leg snapper!! |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
626 |
Judge Ogg placed me under cave-detention until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
627 |
It's OK, I wasn't going anywhere anyway. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
628 |
I thought you said your stegosaurus didn't bite. Oh, it's not your stegosaurus? |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
629 |
and this is my ball and chain..... |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
630 |
Whose turn was it to feed Fido? |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
631 |
The judge said it'll come off in six months if I don't start any more fires. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
632 |
It's my wallet. Just needs a little design work. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
633 |
He just hates it when Mama has to go shopping. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
634 |
Turns out "evolution" is a bit of a hot button. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
635 |
Yeah, he’s still teething, but he’s cave-broken. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
636 |
I'm really hoping the vet was right and he grows out of his teething stage soon |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
637 |
It's called "home detention". |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
638 |
30 years in and he's still in the oral phase... |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
639 |
I can't leave home without him. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
640 |
Honey, please call the exterminator. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
641 |
Look what I found swimming in the holy water. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
642 |
You get used to it, unlike the food in prison. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
643 |
He's a rescue from the past. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
644 |
I thought I had him trained to snare rabbits and foxes but I think he has trouble with species identification. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
645 |
It's my new ankle bracelet |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
646 |
He has seperation anxiety issues. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
647 |
You were the one who taught him fetch bones. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
648 |
I told you not to try petting him! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
649 |
But Mom, you've always told me I'd understand better when I grew up and got my own little ankle-biter. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
650 |
They say it's because of the way I dress. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
651 |
I’ve been assured by the pet monster experts that it’s only a phase. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
652 |
He's housebroken but we have a call in to the dinosaur whisperer. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
653 |
Released under your supervision, Ma. Have to wear this new ankle bracelet... |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
654 |
Wearing this ankle bracelet is a real pain.. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
655 |
They need to teethe when they're infants. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
656 |
They're really cute when they're little. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
657 |
The first known incident of biting commentary. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
658 |
Bought him under the premise this was a mutualistic relationship. So far he's yet to pull his weight. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
659 |
There are two ungrateful dogs I packed. Both are messy, full of feces, love to spew, smell and eat their own excrement. It is time to get them back home at the White House. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
660 |
I believe this cave is occupied. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
661 |
It's called 'house arrest.' |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
662 |
I haven't worked out all the kinks in the domestication-made-easy course I'm taking but they assure me I am headed in the right direction. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
663 |
I just got him yesterday, but he has already become quite attached. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
664 |
Well yes, I do have a problem. Now Gert if you Will hold his lower jaw and Kayla, you grab his snout firmly... |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
665 |
Actually his screech is much worse than his bite |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
666 |
He's a rescue, but really he rescued me. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
667 |
Don't just stand there. Draw something! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
668 |
Well, now I need a rabies shot |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
669 |
She makes me weak in the knees |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
670 |
He reports my movements to the authorities. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
671 |
He’s just an obligate carnivore. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
672 |
The last of her unkind. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
673 |
Mom and Dad, I think I found your sex toy. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
674 |
It's just my court ordered ankle monitor. I'm on parole. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
675 |
Sorry son, we live in a cave, this is the only way to ground you. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
676 |
How did we not survive? Every time I catch one of these tasty things, a couple more of them show up. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
677 |
Fake open-house |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
678 |
We call him our discomfort pet. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
679 |
We met in Jersey. She's very all that and a side of potato salad. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
680 |
We’re aril working on ‘heel’. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
681 |
Please stop telling him to go fetch! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
682 |
When he asked me about Darwin, I answered: "Bite me!" He didn't take it well! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
683 |
They call it “house arrest”. Why don’t they just put us all in the same cave so I can have some company? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
684 |
It's the latest fashion trend. I call it an anklet. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
685 |
The judge said it's this or go to jail. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
686 |
She's very needy. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
687 |
It's fine, I got it bitten by a stegosaurus yesterday. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
688 |
I was “loitering”, apparently it’s called a Sterkfontein Boot. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
689 |
He's a pup, I am hoping he evolves out of his chewing stage. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
690 |
She wants to go out. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
691 |
I was assured he’s an herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
692 |
We told you to never feed a stray. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
693 |
He has really bad separation anxiety and doesn't want me to leave the cave today. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
694 |
House arrest isn't so bad, but the security bracelet gets in the way sometimes. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
695 |
My doctor says it can come off next week. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
696 |
Usually he's very good but Trump has gotten to him. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
697 |
He was such a cute baby. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
698 |
I call it a "burglar alarm". |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
699 |
"I'm not a Guru, people send me things, apparently I'm an Influencer". |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
700 |
"He wants me to pet him". |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
701 |
I was expecting a floral delivery....Isn't this snapdragon...No?...oh no..... |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
702 |
croc skin anklet sounded smaller |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
703 |
I'm under cave arrest. It was either that, or jail time. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
704 |
how many times do we have to tell you to stop bringing people home. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
705 |
You can call him ugly, but don't ever call him stupid. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
706 |
My lawyer plea bargained me cave arrest for a year in lieu of a stint on Rikers Island. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
707 |
It was either this or cleaning dino doo-doo in Central Park. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
708 |
The court said I have to wear this ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
709 |
I'm sorry...I can't go. He gets painfully jealous if I'm out and about. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
710 |
I thought you said your dog doesn't bite ? |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
711 |
Home confinement, ug. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
712 |
Animal domestication is not what it is cracked up to be! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
713 |
It is something I'm working on..."Alligator shoes" |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
714 |
He's adopting to being adopted! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
715 |
It’s not what it looks like, I’m just into vore now. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
716 |
Unfortunately I come with some past baggage |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
717 |
He follow me home. I can keep? |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
718 |
My trainer says, 'There are no bad dinosaurs, just bad owners.' |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
719 |
Sorry, he has some extinction issues. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
720 |
Sorry guys, still under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
721 |
Og put it on after my third jaywalking ticket. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
722 |
'House arrest would be so much better with a ankle monitor.' |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
723 |
I'm just relieved he doesn't love my leg anymore. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
724 |
Mommy, Daddy?!? I’ll feed it myself!! Can I keep it? Puleeeze!! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
725 |
I can't go with you now. He wants me to paint his picture on the wall. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
726 |
I guess you will do |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
727 |
We didn't train him to heel correctly. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
728 |
...And if Lulu gives you any trouble while I’m away, just crush her skull with a big rock. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
729 |
I know, but it's gonna be extinguished soon. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
730 |
It will probably take a few more thousand years before I'd really consider him 'domesticated.' |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
731 |
I didn't think she would be so clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
732 |
It’s the old ball and chain... |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
733 |
No - I said my Leg-is-sore-us. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
734 |
Ouch. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
735 |
It's his way of conveying that his separation anxiety is leg-itimate. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
736 |
Bork said no worries, all breeds harmless. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
737 |
You can go get help or we can wait for an asteroid impact. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
738 |
I mentioned my clutch purse and he went berserk! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
739 |
I’ve got him on the Paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
740 |
You tell me. All I said was "I need something for my feet from Foot Locker' and up he popped. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
741 |
You said his Jurassic bark was worse than his Jurassic bite! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
742 |
I only got him yesterday, but he is already very attached to me! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
743 |
Don't worry, Lizzie still only has her hatching teeth. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
744 |
Just a couple more weeks of house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
745 |
I think he loves me. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
746 |
She loves children. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
747 |
If you can make one of these out of iron, I got the name for it. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
748 |
I can't come, I'm under court ordered cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
749 |
What are you looking at? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
750 |
Please tell me that you're pulling my leg... |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
751 |
The judge put me under cave arrest. It has orders to eat me if I try to leave. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
752 |
I can't go tonight, the Court ordered me to 60 days home detention. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
753 |
Has anyone seen my other shoe? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
754 |
He says he won't twist if I just let him stay here for a few days. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
755 |
Mom and Dad, please let me keep him. I promise to feed him everyday. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
756 |
You never know, you should see what John has done with his wolf. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
757 |
Paleolithic House Arrest |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
758 |
We're still working on that 'man's best friend' thing. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
759 |
She makes me wear him so I won't forget our anniversary again. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
760 |
It's an ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
761 |
A prehistoric form of House Arrest |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
762 |
Living with you was no picnic either. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
763 |
He doesn’t want me to leave |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
764 |
When I said I wouldn’t mind having a little ankle-biter around, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
765 |
Finally got him to stop humping my leg, but his codependency still needs some work. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
766 |
He was a rescue Pitbullasaurus |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
767 |
Larry makes me wear it while he's at work cuz he thinks I'll fool around with the new guy two caves down. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
768 |
And I said ‘No, I’m a Male, man.’ |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
769 |
If you guys would’ve alteady invented the leash this could have been avoided. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
770 |
Guess, I should introduce ya to the old' gnaw and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
771 |
Neither the doctor nor the nurse knew a cure for this rare form of foot-and-mouth disease. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
772 |
My wife wanted one of the new security systems that doesn’t have wires all over the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
773 |
Yes. They get a little attached to you. Why do you ask? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
774 |
Bail was reasonable, though. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
775 |
I have to wear this ankle bracelet until the trial |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
776 |
The Judge says I have to wear it for 3 months, but the worst part is remembering to feed it. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
777 |
It’s called up house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
778 |
Please let me keep her? She has no home, and she's very attached. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
779 |
We are going to need some extra ketchup. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
780 |
I've only had him a week but I've really become attached. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
781 |
The house arrest devices they’re using these days are positively prehistoric. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
782 |
I stole Bolkitchunk's beaver pelts, and now I am in "cave arrest" until we replace them. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
783 |
I'd offer you a seat, but we're having our furniture reupholstered. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
784 |
She's got a bad case of separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
785 |
Come back tomorrow when I'm off house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
786 |
A bit needy, but can I keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
787 |
Just tell my kids not to go into paleontology. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
788 |
You’ve reached the top of the corporate ladder. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
789 |
I know it sounds crazy, but he's the one that rescued me! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
790 |
Something tells me its dinner time.... |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
791 |
Don't worry...he's young and still in the teething stage. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
792 |
They have me under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
793 |
With a little education, he'll know he's extinct and stop it. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
794 |
For a recent rescue, he’s surprisingly attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
795 |
Get real, Madge. This ain't Bedrock. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
796 |
It's an ankle monitor. A new thing that they just invented. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
797 |
He bites when he's nervous - he's a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
798 |
I'm inventing the "pet" concept. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
799 |
So as a hedge trimmer, it still has a few glitches to iron out. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
800 |
Perhaps alligator boots would be more comfortable. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
801 |
Your security system is so primitive. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
802 |
I don't mind being under cave-arrest except for the ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
803 |
I've been placed under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
804 |
No, really, his bark is worse than his bite |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
805 |
We got him at a shelter but based on the nipping, I think he is part Labrador. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
806 |
No one told me house arrest would be this painful. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
807 |
Home arrest ankle monitor, circa 2000 B.C. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
808 |
I knew the breeder was lying when he said she was a micro-crocodile. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
809 |
It's a velcrosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
810 |
Fortunately, he's hypoallergenic. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
811 |
I think this means he said yes to the dress. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
812 |
Sorry ladies. I've been under house arrest since our last ladies night out. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
813 |
The poor thing thinks I'm its mother, who it ate. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
814 |
They told me he was a Vegan. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
815 |
Perhaps I should have used the shock collar. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
816 |
The training has been a bit rough. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
817 |
No problem. He is just teething. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
818 |
I sent him to an obedience training school, but he ate the teachers. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
819 |
He either doesn't understand the concept, or he's telling me never again to ask him to play fetch. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
820 |
It's two against one. You barely have a leg to stand on. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
821 |
He already got an eye and an arm from us, this was inevitable. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
822 |
Yes, but do you realize how much a pre-nup would have cost? |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
823 |
What breed? He's a Stego'sore'us. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
824 |
We got him for our daughter, but he follows me everywhere. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
825 |
Rescue pets often have over-attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
826 |
The bracelet will be coming off in a month and I'll be off house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
827 |
The vet said we had to change his food. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
828 |
No one will ever need more than 640 kilo-bites. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
829 |
Chief sentenced me to six moons of Cave Confinement. This ankle monitor hurts like hell! |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
830 |
Try yanking his tail. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
831 |
It's better than your alligator shoes! |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
832 |
We should rethink the stegosaurus trap. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
833 |
It's an all-consuming relationship. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
834 |
I have to wear this until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
835 |
Someday cave pets will only try to bite unwanted guests. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
836 |
Well, house arrest beats jail any day. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
837 |
He was my husband's idea. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
838 |
He's so adorable; I call him my little anklet. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
839 |
I'm only on house arrest for another couple weeks |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
840 |
He’s a rescue and we are working on his separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
841 |
Sorry I cant make it. The old lady's got me in a vise. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
842 |
Sorry, my mom grounded me. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
843 |
I though he was housebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
844 |
Turns out he's more of a hunter, for gatherers. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
845 |
I wanted a new pet ... and it cost me an arm and leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
846 |
Could be worse. Used to twerk. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
847 |
No, we can't just put him in the pot ! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
848 |
I've become quite attached to her. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
849 |
Yes, he really gets under my skin. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
850 |
My parole officer said I'll get the ankle monitor off soon. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
851 |
My New Year's Resolution was to keep my friends close and my enemies closer. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
852 |
how do you like my new ankle piercing? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
853 |
They put me on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
854 |
It's okay. He's an herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
855 |
The judge ruled I'm a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
856 |
Where did we put that book on domestication of animals? |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
857 |
This one thinks he's an ankle monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
858 |
I can't hunt triceratops with you fellas…I'm on house arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
859 |
I thought you said your stegosaurus does not bite. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
860 |
What are you knuckleheads looking at? Get him off already! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
861 |
I'll have to join you guys next time. I've got this one ankle-biter holding me... |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
862 |
Go on without me, the ankle is still saur. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
863 |
Alligator shoes - they are the latest thing! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
864 |
Well, its’s not exactly like in “The Shape of Water. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
865 |
Looks like it’s the four of us having coffee this morning. Ever since his retirement, Larry’s developed a severe case of separation anxiety. I can never leave home without him. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
866 |
I deserved the house arrest. But the new ankle bracelet is giving me a gnawing feeling. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
867 |
He’s grown out of the amputation phase |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
868 |
It’s not so bad — just a few months of cave arrest for insider raiding. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
869 |
He's better home protection than our dog. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
870 |
I clearly misunderstood when you invited me to dinner and asked if I was a white meat or dark meat kind of guy. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
871 |
I’d love to go but, house arrest really bites. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
872 |
"What 'tiny Stegosaurus'"? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
873 |
My cousin is visiting. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
874 |
So this is where "break a leg" came from... hmm. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
875 |
Do you know anybody who lost a pet? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
876 |
He worries about abandonment |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
877 |
Not to worry. The pet shop said he’s an herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
878 |
I'd say the latest insect repellent is a bust! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
879 |
what you are seeing is love at first bite! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
880 |
I’m sorry. I cannot go. I’m under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
881 |
First she ate my dear Lisa, then she followed me home. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
882 |
We were fooled by his very small paws. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
883 |
Sorry, can't go. House arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
884 |
Fortunately he‘s not as savage as the saber-tooth cat we used to have. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
885 |
Yeah, he got very emotional when listened “I’ll follow him” for the first time! |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
886 |
Do you think my Jurassic ankle bracelet is too much? |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
887 |
I taught him to fetch, but forgot we haven't invented the ball yet. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
888 |
It’s my house arrest bracelet |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
889 |
Looks like we'll be dining in tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
890 |
Either he goes extinct or I do. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
891 |
He has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
892 |
This "pet thing" is a bad idea. He's back to being dinner tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
893 |
He's not cave trained yet. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
894 |
I’m under cave arrest – thus, the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
895 |
Sorry, I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
896 |
Don't worry, he's all bite. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
897 |
It’ll cost an arm and a leg to keep him. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
898 |
I think with a little patience our descendants will have a house pet. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
899 |
It’s the latest in bone therapy |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
900 |
We've grown quite attached to one another. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
901 |
No, our stegapoo didn’t eat your terrierdactyl. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
902 |
We can't find a chewy toy. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
903 |
I'm re-thinking my 'Domesticated Animal' concept. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
904 |
Do not worry! He knows his survival depends on mine!! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
905 |
Wanna come for a bite? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
906 |
Two more weeks of house arrest and the ankle bracelet come off. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
907 |
Oh, just a little ankle bracelet I picked up on the Amazon. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
908 |
I can't go right now. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
909 |
Maybe it's time to see a doctor about this pain in my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
910 |
See, he’s not vicious, just clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
911 |
He voted for Trump and still claims he has no regrets! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
912 |
This is my tax lien. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
913 |
He is an Ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
914 |
I know. But the vet said just 2 cans a day 'til he's eight feet. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
915 |
The judge called it a monitor lizzard. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
916 |
It's a real crap shoot when you adopt a rescue egg. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
917 |
So the judge said I can't leave my cave or remove the ankle bracelet! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
918 |
He never barked. I doubt it's worse than his bite |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
919 |
The mayor is getting serious about parking. How much to get this boot off. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
920 |
I’m bored to tears with this house arrest and don’t even get me started on the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
921 |
At least he doesn't eat much. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
922 |
It was either this ankle bracelet or jail. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
923 |
It's the next big thing in ankle bracelets. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
924 |
Don't worry he doesn't bite? |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
925 |
I was trying to teach him to "heel." |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
926 |
We adopted him from the local no-kill shelter. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
927 |
They believe the aggressiveness is an result of improbably remote genetic combinations. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
928 |
I really like your new place, but you might want to do something about the giant lizards. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
929 |
I can't leave the house, but at least I don't have to go to prison. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
930 |
I call it an ankle bracelet. You think it will catch on? |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
931 |
But he followed me home........ |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
932 |
I just told him I was bringing him home for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
933 |
The theoretical consensus is that they are extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
934 |
It's time to kill all these dinosaurs, once and for all. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
935 |
It's not what you think. It's not the proverbial ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
936 |
He has a funny way of telling me it's time to eat. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
937 |
He's eaten all the furniture. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
938 |
The Vet says it's only separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
939 |
He does this every time guests ring the cave bell |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
940 |
Do you have any salt? |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
941 |
So yeah, I've got house arrest for 7 months. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
942 |
He's doing well at obedience school. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
943 |
He's very possessive. If I can just get him to let go of my leg, I think he'll make a great cave-pet! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
944 |
He's part-terrier, part-tyrannosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
945 |
I forgot to disengage the security system again. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
946 |
I'm on home monitoring. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
947 |
But his species IS predisposed to domestication, genetically speaking. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
948 |
Me call it 'domastication.' |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
949 |
He came with the cave, and sufferes from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
950 |
Sure, house arrest sounds great but the ankle bracelet really bites. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
951 |
It takes him a little while to loosen up. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
952 |
And that's the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
953 |
Mom. Dad. Only time will tell if Chloe and I were meant to be. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
954 |
Do you know of a good Dinosaur Whisperer? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
955 |
They said they're sending thoughts and prayers. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
956 |
I screamed 'asteroid' three times, but it didn't flinch. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
957 |
Mom, dad can I keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
958 |
I appreciate the lighter sentence, but this ankle monitor is quite restrictive |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
959 |
FUCKIN OW |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
960 |
I'm on cave arrest for a DWI (Dinnosauring While Intoxicated). |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
961 |
Yeah, they let me out until my trial. All I have to do is stay home with this monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
962 |
This new thing called house arrest is not as nice as you might think. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
963 |
Sorry I can't make it. I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
964 |
One date and he won't let me go anywhere alone.... |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
965 |
I can take it off as soon as I'm acquitted. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
966 |
he's having separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
967 |
I'm having the Beast Whisperer come by to work with him. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
968 |
I can't go anywhere without the old ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
969 |
Yeah, he's my best friend till some new species comes along. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
970 |
It's called a "shoe". It hurts like hell, but I think it looks great! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
971 |
Don't worry. He doesn't bark. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
972 |
They placed me on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
973 |
According to my parole officer, they’re beta testing an electronic version linked to GPS. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
974 |
Ankle bracelets are the new thing. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
975 |
Hi guys, sorry I wish I could go. I'm under cave arrest. If I leave my bracasaur has me for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
976 |
I avoided jail time, but have to be monitored 24 hours a day. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
977 |
I'm training him to be a service dinosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
978 |
The doctor says that if I apply a little ointment, it should go away. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
979 |
I didn't hear a bark, but it can't be worse than the bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
980 |
He's all-American and wants to make us great again. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
981 |
He followed me home: clan we keep him if he doesn’t eat me? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
982 |
My parole hearing is next week. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
983 |
These new GOP tax liens have teeth. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
984 |
You should hear the racket it makes if I try to leave the cave. It'll come off after the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
985 |
She loves children. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
986 |
When he gets bigger, I'll probably feed him the River People. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
987 |
Justin Timberlake wears the same exact kind. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
988 |
They let me out but I have to wear this until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
989 |
Can I keep her? |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
990 |
The Origin of Attachment Theory |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
991 |
Believe it or not, it does offer a new perspective to your basic question. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
992 |
Choose the right size, my son. I'm not the first guru on this mountain. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
993 |
I've simply GOT to invent the chew toy. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
994 |
I'm still working on his separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
995 |
I guess I shouldn't have stroked her back. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
996 |
This still beats the bedbugs I got from that online short-term vacation rental. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
997 |
Wife say, "Make good pet." I say, "Ow." |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
998 |
They took my passport away too. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
999 |
As long as I don't cross the county line he's quiet as a mouse. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1000 |
It's ok he's friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1001 |
He hasn't evolved to sniffing yet. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1002 |
I would absolutely love to go out to dinner as we planned, but I've just invented the zero, discovered fire, and perfected the axle, and now THIS! |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
1003 |
Thought it would be cute to teach it some idioms, but maybe I shouldn't have started with "break a leg". |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
1004 |
I got house arrest with an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
1005 |
It's a little painful, but I'm teaching him to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1006 |
He’s developed an attachment. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1007 |
Afraid I’m currently detained |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1008 |
The evolution of depth perception took a major step forward today. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1009 |
Yabba Dabba Don't! |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1010 |
If he let's go, I'll bleed to death, so I tied him to my leg. It's what I'm calling Existentialism. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1011 |
Good thing this happened while you are still on our insurance. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1012 |
Yes, sometimes there is a glitch in the robovac. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1013 |
We had the "It's not you - it's me" conversation. But he just won't let go. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1014 |
It's something new the judge is trying called "house arrest." |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1015 |
It's so I can't leave the cave. My probation officer insisted on it. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1016 |
It looks worse than it feels. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1017 |
He's a Minidoodle - Rex. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1018 |
I preferred elctronic monitoring, but the judge wouldn't go for it... |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1019 |
Its called a boot. I picked it up in Denver. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1020 |
Yeah, I tried to schedule an appointment with the doctor but it'll be another couple millennia before he exists. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1021 |
you guys gotta get me the fuck out of here |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1022 |
Steggie has a bad case of separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1023 |
He's grown attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1024 |
Apparently these are not herbivores. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1025 |
It's hard to find a baby sitter on such short notice |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1026 |
You wouldn't understand. It's a man cave thing. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1027 |
Them judge let me go home, but I have to wear this for 90 days. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1028 |
It's the last time I'll sass him with the expression, 'Bite me.' |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1029 |
My therapist says he has attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1030 |
Live ankle bracelets are the thing now. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1031 |
He's a loyal pet, but the separation anxiety is painful. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1032 |
Our vet says it is separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1033 |
I think the home we entered have leg piece loving beings! |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1034 |
This new ankle monitors are a drag ... |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1035 |
This Ankylosaurus bracelet's clasp is a real pain. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1036 |
Thanks for coming over, I’m on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1037 |
You should see the mailman. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1038 |
Yet, I feel supported and free from anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1039 |
It is a bit uncomfortable, but it looks great! |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1040 |
They'll take it off when I get out of cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1041 |
The pet shop said he mainly eats calves |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1042 |
I don't know what it is because we haven't invented dictionaries yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1043 |
I was busted with a third drinking-while-gathering and got slapped with this Jurassic monitoring device. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1044 |
The Neanderthals trained him to do this. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1045 |
He’s developed an unhealthy attachment. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1046 |
Does it look bad? |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1047 |
Everyone says it’ll be extinct in three years, so I ignore the pain. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1048 |
There's a WHAT? |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1049 |
Nobody knew that house arrest could be so complicated. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1050 |
We bounded at the pet store. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1051 |
technically I can leave the state, but who has the energy! |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1052 |
And then they towed away the car. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1053 |
I appreciate the invitation, but I’m still under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1054 |
He's been a little clingy since his friends went extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1055 |
Please?! I promise I'll feed him. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1056 |
Don't worry, he goes extinct tomorrow. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1057 |
Prison's full, so they gave me one of these. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1058 |
Thankfully he's hypoallergenic. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1059 |
I'm under house arrest, can't leave the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1060 |
Guilty but the judge cut me some slack. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1061 |
I'm under home confinement and still getting used to my ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1062 |
The best part is I don’t feel so alone anymore. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1063 |
Spot's bite is way worse than his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1064 |
You're right. I should have read the lease's opt-out clause more carefully. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1065 |
He is so sticky, I would give a leg just to get rid of him |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1066 |
Yeah, house arrest blows. Oh, don't mind him; that's just my ankle monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1067 |
You can see my Fitbit is extremely possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1068 |
The worst part is that it's not covered by Trumpcare. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1069 |
The vet told me she should grow out of this clingy stage when the mating season ends. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1070 |
I can't wait until that big asteroid hits. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1071 |
I am afraid that one day his separation anxiety will cost me a leg |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1072 |
He wants me to take him out for his daily drag |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1073 |
You're just in time for dinner! |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1074 |
Sorry I can't watch the meteor shower tonight. I'm on house arrest until further notice. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1075 |
I'I'm grounded until sundown. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1076 |
I chalk it up to separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1077 |
Emotion regulation skills are still a struggle. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1078 |
It's just a love bite." |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1079 |
New Year is off to a bad start. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1080 |
He has abandonment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1081 |
I'm now his constant companion. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1082 |
I brought up politics and religion. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1083 |
Color balance is the key to happiness. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1084 |
It followed me home Ma , can we keep it ? |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1085 |
It will prove Darwin doesn't have a leg to stand on. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1086 |
There are advantages to Diabetic Neuropathy. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1087 |
Well you did say "go break a leg." |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1088 |
His new therapist says it's a reactive attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1089 |
I’ll be glad when I get off cave arrest. This ankle monitor is cramping my style. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1090 |
No, you can’t pet him. He bites. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1091 |
Not to worry. They say I will be off of house arrest soon. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1092 |
Stella was a carouser. So Iwent for clingy this time. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1093 |
I can't go out tonight. I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1094 |
Yes he's got very attached. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1095 |
Fortunately he's a herbivore-vegetarian. But I am starting to worry. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1096 |
yes, but at least she doesn't shed |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1097 |
Under cave arrest but wish it came with more fashionable accessories. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1098 |
How many of these new live-traps would you boys like to order? |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1099 |
He’s been like this ever since the volcano took his mother. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1100 |
This house arrest bracelet is archaic. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1101 |
Cave Badger don't care! |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1102 |
At least he doesn't shed. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1103 |
It's a mandatory requirement of home confinement sentencing. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1104 |
'She just can't let go and move on.' |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1105 |
I made bail but I am required to wear a GPS Ankle Bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1106 |
She's what you'd call high maintenance. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1107 |
Dont worry, he wouldn’t dare draw blood. He’s just a lobbyist. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1108 |
I was trying to teach him to "heel." |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1109 |
You know the type. He’s having a bad day, so now I’ve got to have a bad day. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1110 |
Would you two please sneer at him so he'll chase you and let go of my leg? |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1111 |
Therapy Pet 1.0 |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1112 |
It's called an ankle monitor, but I'm thinking jail might be better. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1113 |
You know how it goes....the stray animals chose their human. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1114 |
Sorry, I can't go to lunch, I'm still under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1115 |
He doesn't eat much, I promise. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1116 |
separation anxiety. his therapist is pretty sure that he'll grow out of it |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1117 |
I don't know, he just called me terrific last night. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1118 |
Sure, there are a few drawbacks, but this new house arrest app is really fast. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1119 |
Could you tell me if this is your dinosaur, and could you tell me if law suits have been invented yet? |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
1120 |
This Inter-Cave of Things needs a lot more work. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1121 |
He wants to be domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1122 |
He's growing on me. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1123 |
Yeah, after the club incident I'm under cave arrest and forced to wear a trackasaurous. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1124 |
It's called house arrest, and it's very in. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1125 |
He's a wee bit attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1126 |
They were all out of chihuahuas. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1127 |
It's not your dinosaur? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1128 |
Court ordered leg shackle |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1129 |
I'm still on parole. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1130 |
I’m a creationist |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1131 |
It's called home confinement prior to trial. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1132 |
Nothing worse than having a clingy dinosaur |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1133 |
The security system conveyed with the property. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1134 |
He keeps me civilized. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1135 |
Green sells. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1136 |
Have you tried reasoning with him? |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1137 |
Actually, it takes my mind off Trump! |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1138 |
Remember that stegosaurus we had for dinner last week? Bring me a couple of the bones. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1139 |
I was thinking of getting a saber tooth , but I'm allergic to cats. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1140 |
I think it’s time for Steve Bannon to go. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1141 |
I got him at the shelter |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1142 |
I think overprotective behavior is rather typical for the puppies. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1143 |
He has separation anxiety and the treatment is worse than the cure. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1144 |
He's really very lovable. He's just scratching a mosquito bite on my ankle! |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1145 |
Maybe marriage is between a man and a woman. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1146 |
Neither one of you gets me |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1147 |
He's so loving that until his recent training, we were attached at the hip. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1148 |
This separation anxiety thing is a bit of a bummer. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1149 |
The way I see it, my 2018 is all uphill from here. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1150 |
It’s a new alternative to incarceration. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1151 |
He is the best cave guard ever but he cost me an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1152 |
It's part of my house arrest. If I leave, it automatically eats me. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1153 |
No worries Rodnick, Bobbi-Sue has already eaten, she's just giving you a "howdy" nibble. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1154 |
Usually, Fido is much more affectionate. You can take him with you when he lets go of my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1155 |
This stays on until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1156 |
It is the first recorded case of separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1157 |
I wish I hadn’t started eat local. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1158 |
It time to take Thag for walk. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1159 |
He’s not perfect but he IS housebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1160 |
"He does a good job of keeping the riff-raff out, but he is a little moody. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1161 |
He's a rescue with abandonment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1162 |
This time he’s making sure I stay home |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1163 |
Haven't found its leash yet. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1164 |
It’s what Freud will call an attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1165 |
Don’t worry. He’s just flossing. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1166 |
As soon as the Joneses laid eyes on George’s pet dragon, they knew he wasn’t pulling their leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1167 |
Rescue animals really become attached to you. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1168 |
Do me a favor and tell Grok this is not the kind of ankle-biter I wanted from him. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1169 |
I realize now that separation anxiety wasn't so bad after all... |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1170 |
I’d say it’s like ‘A dog with a bone in its mouth,’ but contextually we’re not there yet. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1171 |
Seriously. Not having indoor plumbing sucks. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1172 |
The technology still has some kinks in it. This ankle monitor is barely cavebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1173 |
Get this fucking thing off my goddamn leg good lord! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1174 |
My pet 'Tourniquet' hates to see me leave the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1175 |
All he can do is fetch. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1176 |
We’re going to get married with or without your approval. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1177 |
Like the new apparel? ... It's genuine komodo dragon leather! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1178 |
Yeah, its court-ordered. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1179 |
Run! He has a sweet tooth and we're all one-eye candy. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1180 |
These crocs come only in this style. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1181 |
Only two more moons of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1182 |
It wouldn’t be so bad if he hadn’t started with my left arm. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1183 |
The judge sentenced me to House Arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1184 |
I've invented scissors! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1185 |
Who knew? My ex kept warning me about being "mantagonistic" but my lawyer said restraining orders don't have any teeth. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1186 |
No enterprise can afford to lose an arm and a leg... |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1187 |
What could I do? He was the cutest one at the dragon shelter. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1188 |
I call him Fido |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1189 |
It's better than jail - but still cruel and unusual. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1190 |
Yeah, it's better than jail but this ankle monitor is a pain. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1191 |
This is our new dragon pup, Devon. He's still in training. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1192 |
Our new electronic tagging system has a few teething problems! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1193 |
She's grown increasingly attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1194 |
One foot in the door is a start. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1195 |
Quick! Fetch my pigments. I’m inspired! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1196 |
It was either this or jail until my trial date. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1197 |
But he is cave-broken. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1198 |
Ankle bracelets are really "in," but I'm not sure I want to keep mine... it really slows me down. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1199 |
Isn't it obvious, we're in love. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1200 |
He shows up every time I yell "Woooo Pig Sooie! Razorbacks!" |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1201 |
I call it a "pet." |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1202 |
But his parents already said he could keep me! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1203 |
But is she cave trained? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1204 |
Shes too clingy to allow a divorce, we need to go the extinction route! |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1205 |
I just wanted a friend and now we're attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1206 |
I'm glad I got a mini. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1207 |
I blame myself. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1208 |
#Indited schmindited! |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1209 |
She's been this way ever since the divorce. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1210 |
I need to teach it anger management. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1211 |
I thought I'd look more evolved with shaved legs. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1212 |
Yeah, sometimes life throws you a curve. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1213 |
Just Married |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1214 |
Pets nowadays cost an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1215 |
I was put under house arrest for drawing on the walls. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1216 |
These ankle-biters really keep my feet warm. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1217 |
How much did we spend on obedience school? |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1218 |
Some day this will be known as the first parking boot |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1219 |
He says that conditions have deteriorated to the point where he feels totally marginalized and invalidated. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1220 |
Thanks for asking me over for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1221 |
I guess we’re gonna stay in the cave but you two have fun. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1222 |
It's my new invention called the vice. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1223 |
It’s a caustic relationship. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1224 |
No worry, he's just very possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1225 |
Good news. We don't have to go out hunting for tonight's dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1226 |
He doesn’t like to be left alone. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1227 |
Can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1228 |
He usually likes to bite at least three people a day. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1229 |
I ordered a sandwich. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1230 |
On the plus side, I'm going vegan. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1231 |
I'm still under house arrest. Due to budget cuts they hard to borrow the ankle monitor from Bedrock PD. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1232 |
He's really well-known, a leg end in his own time. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1233 |
I love it! Let's go get the alarm tag removed. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1234 |
Please tell me it's herbivorous. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1235 |
The poor dear has developed an extreme fear of abandonment. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1236 |
I swear I wasn’t trying to break in. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1237 |
House arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1238 |
I hear it will be a while before they evolve puppies. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1239 |
This is the first time I put my foot in a mouth other than my own! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
1240 |
"Get yourself one of these and say "Om" 20 minutes a day. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1241 |
It'a a green maraschino cherry and it's what I came up here to sit on. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1242 |
I watched it hatch, now this! |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1243 |
What was the name of that dinosaur whisperer again? |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1244 |
It's a love touch. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1245 |
He attacked me from my blind side. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1246 |
Somehow I pissed him off. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1247 |
He likes to keep a close eye on me. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1248 |
She's gotten smaller but more demanding since the last asteroid impact. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1249 |
Shake a leg! |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1250 |
On the upside, he keeps the pterodactyls from making off with the kids. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1251 |
Minor snag in the evolution of man's best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1252 |
It's state-of-the-art in home security. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1253 |
We just rescued him. He has abandonment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1254 |
It's called an "ankle bracelet"...I'm under house arrest for drawing animal pictures on Og's cave wall. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1255 |
I admit, we have a bit of a dino problem, but what cave doesn't? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1256 |
Onid has severe separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1257 |
This wasn't what I meant when I asked what's for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1258 |
Darwinian kickball... |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1259 |
Did I mention he's cavebroken? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1260 |
I know you said I should be pulling my own weight, but this doesn't seem right. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1261 |
Yes, it's a breakthrough hunting innovation. Now go gather firewood, quick. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1262 |
I am evolving too fast for him. He's angry. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1263 |
I don't care if it's an anachronism, it still hurts! |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1264 |
I got two weeks left of cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1265 |
I can't go. I'm a stay-at-home Mom. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1266 |
Which one of you nit-wits brought the torch? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1267 |
We bounded at the pet store. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1268 |
Have you met my pet, Darwin? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1269 |
I think it'll be four for dinner! |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1270 |
Yeah, house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1271 |
It uses my leg to clean its teeth. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1272 |
Cave Arrest |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1273 |
Extinct? Nope but he’s just pulling my leg! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1274 |
Sorry guys I can't go out. I am under cave arrest. The cops put this lock on my ankle. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1275 |
Yeah it hurts but I won't cave in |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1276 |
You'll see; lizard leather shoes will become a thing. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1277 |
It's not so bad. His bark is worse. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1278 |
You guys go out hunting. This spottosaur has grown attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1279 |
Just wait till he finds out that leg is all bone and no meat. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1280 |
It’s called a razor! |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1281 |
The tribal elders have me on cave arrest after my last no collar crime. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1282 |
I call it the a-leg-eater |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1283 |
He is vegan so I’m not so worried... |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1284 |
He usually opens up by sunset. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1285 |
It's the latest in footwear. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1286 |
It's a parole bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1287 |
You guys have any floss? |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1288 |
I'm under house arrest for tagging caves in Lascaux. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1289 |
It's an affectionate bite. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1290 |
Steve... who’s your new friend? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1291 |
I got one month in-cave probation and this ankle monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1292 |
The ankle monitor isn't as bad as I thought it would be. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1293 |
No, you can't. Go down to the swamp and get your own. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1294 |
The worst part is I have to stay home with the kids. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1295 |
He’s teaching me to beg. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1296 |
I'm naming him "Crocs" |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1297 |
Can we keep him, Mom? Please? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1298 |
Help. Johnny bit me again. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1299 |
We adopted him from the premordial pond. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1300 |
His bark is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1301 |
I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1302 |
Don't worry, he won't bite you. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1303 |
If we all had two eyes and better depth perception we’d see my predicament is just fake news. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1304 |
We just got her. She’s a mini ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1305 |
It’s in lieu of cash bail... |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
1306 |
Hi Jenny, How is your little ankle biter? |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
1307 |
I thought you said he was an herbivore? |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
1308 |
early man under "house arrest" |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1309 |
The judge placed me on home confinement. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1310 |
I'm very attached to him, too. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1311 |
Finally! I heard the guy next door invented a 'leash' thingy. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1312 |
Sorry brahs, can’t go out tonight. I’m totes grounded. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1313 |
The box said nothing about this. I'm thinking class action! |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1314 |
Really? I feed him; give him love. Like any loyal pet, can't he wait till I'm dead before he tries to eat me? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1315 |
He followed me home, can I eat him? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1316 |
The ad said he was cave broken, but I'm beginning to have doubts. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1317 |
I fell asleep in a no-parking zone. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1318 |
My fault. I did bite him first. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1319 |
I'm under house pet arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1320 |
It was either this or remain in jail. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1321 |
It's an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1322 |
No, our "dog" doesn't bite. Why do you ask? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1323 |
Sorry I can't I'am under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1324 |
He's always been an ankle-biter. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1325 |
Dessert tonight is more of an aspiration than a course. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1326 |
I think I put my foot in his mouth. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1327 |
This has become a painful relationship. It is time for me to leave. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1328 |
Those are just his puppy teeth |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1329 |
I'm just happy he's not two feet taller! |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1330 |
Personally, I can't wait until dogs are domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1331 |
Yeah, it totally bites but it still beats juvie. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
1332 |
Really ? I thought it was a wart |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
1333 |
I'm waiting until he's extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1334 |
The judge says I have to stay within 3,000 ft. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1335 |
A sore butt will harm your decision making. Take it from me Son that's sage advice. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1336 |
Now that I caught him what do I do? |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1337 |
He’s still teething. But his mother’s skin made great sandals. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1338 |
He doesn't eat much! |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1339 |
Our new health routine. It strengthens my tibialis anterior and Dinah's mandible. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
1340 |
In retrospect, his Tinder bio did say he becomes "easily attached." |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1341 |
It's his protest against obedience school. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1342 |
He gets like this every time he sees a meteorite. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1343 |
He's really quite attached to me! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1344 |
The breeder didn't tell me he was an ankle biter. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1345 |
My ankle monitor comes off in 30 days. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1346 |
He's not into opera. He wants to netflix and chill jurassic park again. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1347 |
Oh, and pick up a new chew toy for Yogi. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1348 |
We met at a meat market. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1349 |
As it happens, I'm pretty familiar with the paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1350 |
Fifi hasn't been herself since that silly asteroid hit Mexico. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1351 |
The judge says after 60 days I can remove it and leave my cave. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1352 |
So I hear this Farm to Table thing is all the rage... |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1353 |
The doctor says it's terminal but I refuse to let it define me. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1354 |
I'll join you after. I'm kind of in between things. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1355 |
It's the newest fashion trend. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1356 |
It's one of those boutique mini hybrids that is all the rage. It's called a legasaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1357 |
Before iPhones it was the family pet that was responsible for keeping track of teenagers. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1358 |
The doctor says it's going around, so take it easy and come in next week if I'm not feeling better. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1359 |
You said, “Get a pet.” |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1360 |
How cute! You got a puppy. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1361 |
My doctor says I got this rash by walking through the swamp......it's not contagious! |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1362 |
The housebreaking is a work in progress. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1363 |
A present from the old ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1364 |
You do have to be patient with these rescue animals. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1365 |
Bedsaurs |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1366 |
I think it’s his way of telling me not to go out without him. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1367 |
Seems a bit late for a club, don’t you think? |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1368 |
It'll be good for dinner! |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1369 |
At first I thought our idea of a staycation this winter made a lot of sense. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1370 |
I wish I could go, but he chews my leg off if I leave the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1371 |
Sometimes you eat the stegosaurus, and sometimes the stegosaurus eats you. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1372 |
It followed me home. Can I keep it? |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1373 |
Time to call the Stegosaurus Whisperer. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1374 |
"Open Sesame" did not work, should I try " Button" ? |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
1375 |
Grood got the cave in the divorce. I got the dog. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1376 |
It's just three months of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1377 |
Yeah, but it sure beats the cost of chew toys... |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1378 |
Evolution called. They want this one back. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1379 |
The garbage disposal is on the fritz... |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1380 |
He’s had abandonment issues ever since the Cretaceous Period. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1381 |
The paleontologist says it's temporary. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1382 |
It helps my attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1383 |
Yes, I am on cave arrest. They ran out of ankle bracelets. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1384 |
Seemed easier than spearing him first before dragging him home. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1385 |
No really, it’s fine. This is just his way of showing affection. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
1386 |
I need to stay back -- she is having some separation anxiety issues right now. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1387 |
Yes, a second eye would be useful. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
1388 |
I may be in an unhealthy relationship. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1389 |
He thinks you're from the vet's office. I joked about getting him castrated. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1390 |
He thinks I’m the mailman. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1391 |
Spot has a mild case of separation anxiety |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1392 |
He is so playful and cute. I just love him. His name is Phineas. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1393 |
...and once my cave arrest is completed, I'm considering keeping him as my emotional support animal. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1394 |
Guys, can I bring my Dino to the party tonight? She's not vicious at all! |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1395 |
These purebreds are a little high strung |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1396 |
SHE TELLS ME THERE WAS ABOUT A 1.5 M YEAR WAIT FOR A BIJON FRISE |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
1397 |
That settles it guys. Meet your new drummer. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
1398 |
It's your turn to feed Rufus. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1399 |
I popped in looking for my son's pet pterodactyl that's been missing since yesterday morning. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1400 |
"I wish I could join you, but I'm still on house arrest." Shelley Rodgers Alexandria, VA |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1401 |
Never mind the beast. He's just playful. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1402 |
I just didn't want to be rude. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1403 |
I don't know for sure, but I think he likes me.... |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1404 |
Oh don't worry, he's an herbivore! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1405 |
He’s territorial and he’s possessive but he doesn’t make me turn the heat up. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1406 |
He'll jump up and try to lick you, but don't worry, he doesn't bite. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1407 |
He is not too bad for a cave pet. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1408 |
He's very needy but he knows a lot of tricks. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1409 |
Don’t worry folks. There’s a witch doctor around the corner. Really, really wonderful. Besides, this bight is “fake news.” |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1410 |
You are under house arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1411 |
It’s so I can’t leave the cave until my trial. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1412 |
It's okay, he's just excited |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1413 |
The breeder mentioned that he might be suffering from a Separation Anxiety Complex. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1414 |
It's my new court-ordered Global Prehistoric System cave-arrest device! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1415 |
The ankle monitor comes off tomorrow, but I'll still be on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1416 |
It's the owner, not the prehistoric classification. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1417 |
You get used to the leg biting....and honestly he's cleaner than my ex. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1418 |
It’s only because of obedience school that I even have a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1419 |
Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know that's how he got his name! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1420 |
When we picked him up at the Paleozoic Society for the Prevention of Cruelty To Animals told me he left alone a lot as a hatchling. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1421 |
I'm afraid it's gonna take a million years to train this guy |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1422 |
Before incarnation he was a alpha male. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1423 |
Whatever happened to 'two eyes are better than one?' |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1424 |
She'll grow out of it. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1425 |
Is this a trap? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1426 |
Me and Allie didn't think you'd be home until sunset! |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1427 |
It was knapping on the rock pile or home detention. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1428 |
Dinner plans have changed. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1429 |
You’d think that the end of society would have come with the end of home arrest... |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1430 |
He's attracted to me and won't leave me alone. That's more than I can say for my caveman. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1431 |
When was the last day to apply for Marketplace health insurance again? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1432 |
OK, now you can come in, he won't bte. Ok, now you can come in, he won't bite. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1433 |
He doesn't believe me when I tell him cave drawings put 10 pounds on you. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1434 |
"Sometimes there is a fine line between being playful an being hurtful". |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1435 |
We have to make one stop. He really wants to go to dino daycare. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1436 |
It also game in green. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1437 |
He wants to go for a walk. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1438 |
Are you sure the low temps will kill bed bugs ? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1439 |
You could have saved yourself the trip and downloaded my app. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1440 |
No, sorry, I'm The Dalai Lime-a. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1441 |
I mentioned his mama was also horny. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1442 |
Just a pet. He's getting used to us. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1443 |
This species can't be domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1444 |
House arrest hasn't been the same since they ran out of the normal anklets. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1445 |
“The chief said I need to do this for 90 days”. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1446 |
Oh Please. I will walk him. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1447 |
Also, I wasn't allowed to celebrate New Year's Eve! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1448 |
It was court ordered. It let's me stay under cave arrest instead of going to jail. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1449 |
I got 90 days cave arrest. If I step outside he snaps it off. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1450 |
THIS IS THE WAY I'm KEPT A STAY AT HOME MOM |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1451 |
We're working on Fluffy's homo sapien aversion. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1452 |
Neadrathal DNA proves more complex than scientists thought. Due to the small pool of potential mates. An alligator was a disappointing but realistic date to have to meet the parents. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1453 |
Yeah, it's my monitor lizard. I can't go out, I'm under cave arrest, again. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1454 |
I was caught stealing fire and now I have to wear this court mandated ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1455 |
She’s not a bad Pitosaurus. She just has a bad owner. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1456 |
I can’t go with you, I’m under dragon arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1457 |
2500 years from now they'll call this Reactive Attachment Disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1458 |
I'm waiting on these ankle biters to evolve. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1459 |
She is so affectionate. Don't you just lover her? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1460 |
They call this a smart collar. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1461 |
How much loner are you on house arrest? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1462 |
I've decided to call this strange creature an albatross. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1463 |
That new coconut oil is working out great otherwise. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1464 |
Is there an app for this? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1465 |
You just can't club a woman, drag her back your cave anymore. #TimesUp |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1466 |
Fish pedicures are less effective |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1467 |
I think I'm OK for now. Thanks though. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1468 |
He followed |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1469 |
Yes, I have just invented this trick called 'heeling'. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1470 |
I can’t wait for someone to invent electronic monitoring for home detention. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1471 |
We're still evolving as hunter-gatherers. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1472 |
The judge called it an "ankle monitor". He said that if I try to flee before my trial, they just follow the blood trail. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1473 |
Can't wait 'til he goes extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1474 |
My pet lizard and I are on our way to Obedience School. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1475 |
It was only simple petting. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1476 |
Do you think he's too attached to me? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1477 |
What? Haven't you seen "Dino Instinct" |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1478 |
He's part pitbull. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1479 |
I'm under cave-arrest and cannot leave without setting off the ankle alarm. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1480 |
When winter takes a grip its hard to shake off |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1481 |
It’s an ankle weight for strong calves |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1482 |
It's called a legosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1483 |
I'm not comfortable here. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1484 |
I should never have let him start licking the plates. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1485 |
He just wants to be walked out. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1486 |
Mom and Dad, my student loans for my spear making degree are making it hard to move out. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1487 |
He's a rescue. He's got a little separation anxiety. I think I'll call him Dave. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1488 |
You just have to jiggle it... |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1489 |
Pal's loyal, but possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1490 |
So, is this doing the Crocodile Rock? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1491 |
I guess I'm really more of a two-eyed pet person. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1492 |
He’s never gotten over the fear of flying. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1493 |
He needs Dino Daycare. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1494 |
I talked the salesman down to just a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1495 |
Whatever you do, don't show fear. The Mutilatasaurus only attacks if it senses fear... |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1496 |
He's almost cave broken. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1497 |
Don't worry, he won't bite you. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1498 |
His advice is generally good, but not so much his delivery. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1499 |
You had better hope an asteroid strikes earth and he becomes extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1500 |
Don't worry, he only bites me for some reason...isn't that right Buddy? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1501 |
I told him his skin would make a nice purse. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1502 |
I've weaned him from eyeballs. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1503 |
Are you are enjoying your house arrest Mr. Manafort? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1504 |
I tried to cross the road. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1505 |
Ouch, have they invented orthopedic doctors yet?????? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1506 |
I consider him my close friend. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1507 |
So far, I'm thinking the wolf makes a better pack animal. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1508 |
Ease your mind, your ass will follow. There ya go. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1509 |
The concept behind this 'boot' has great potential to disrupt future civilizations and their drivers. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1510 |
Believe me, it's an upgrade from my ex-ball-and-chain. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1511 |
No concern, This animal is extinct |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1512 |
It's the latest thing! Ankle bracelets! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1513 |
I should have taken the Bible more literally. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1514 |
I can’t believe this is still happening in America. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1515 |
The judge said three more months of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1516 |
Guess we missed the lesson on "Leave it"! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1517 |
I wish I had depth perception. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1518 |
Never insult a dinosaur's political opinion. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1519 |
Are you pulling my leg |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1520 |
He has to be fed several times a day. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1521 |
Buster has strong feelings of anxiety separation and won't leave my side ever since I rescued him from a pack of wolves outside of the compound. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1522 |
I did try obedience training. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1523 |
I was looking for something with a bit more heal but this is what they are wearing in Europe this season |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1524 |
Yes, he's housebroken. He"ll let you know when he needs to go out. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1525 |
HHHHHHHH |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1526 |
It’s really the only socially responsible way to travel. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1527 |
I'm just here to tell you that you've made it and to wish you a good trip back down. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1528 |
Thanks Doc! I'm feeling better already. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1529 |
It's too bad you couldn't visit when we had furniture. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1530 |
Eye can’t move |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1531 |
He's getting old and grumpy and still mad for dressing him up like Santa at Christmas... |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1532 |
He's my new pet and we're hitting it off just fine: In fact he can't get enough of me. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1533 |
I think he loves me. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1534 |
I thought you said that your stegosaurus doesn't bite! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1535 |
Here's here for the General Tsao's Chicken we ordered 15 minutes ago... |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1536 |
Half Pitbull , Half dinosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1537 |
It actually turned out okay. The shaman gave me three weeks cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1538 |
Better me than the new furniture. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1539 |
Him new pet, named Spike. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1540 |
Lately, I'm feeling somewhat restricted in my movements. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1541 |
Find my parole officer. Named Flintstone. Offer him two pounds for my release. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1542 |
Cave Training the House Pet 7017 BC |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1543 |
Well, pets like this are good for civilian defense. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1544 |
But you’re wrong, he isn’t slimey at all! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1545 |
I'm as surprised as you are, he looked friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1546 |
He just bit my leg, didn't he? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1547 |
Where is that jaw opener I gave you for Christmas? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1548 |
"Oh, is there a tyrannosaurus-ankle-biteus latched to my leg? That's what that excruciating pain is in my ankle. Thank you so much for telling me that. I had no idea". Pre-historic sarcasm... |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1549 |
A new breed... a cross with a beagle. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1550 |
Call me ahab |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1551 |
I am feeding him, so I can feed on him! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1552 |
I was setting a trap for Godzilla and this thing was hiding under the leaves !! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1553 |
Ever since my wife went missing, the kids have been scared of him. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1554 |
She did not like the missionary position |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1555 |
He's still a bit wild, but I can tame him. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1556 |
Not to worry.It's not painful. He's only xenophobic. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1557 |
Don't worry, he's house-trained. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1558 |
When I googled "animals with scales" the reply said they were vegetarians |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1559 |
You've heard of chokers? This is a biter. And yes, it's made with real reptile! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1560 |
I promise, he’s house broken. We are just working on attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1561 |
I think we burgled the wrong cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1562 |
I can't decide between tibiasuarus and fibulasaurus. He seems to like both. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1563 |
It said it was a "man cave." So I shouldn't be surprised this dinosaur tried to have his way with me. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1564 |
Alas, we may not be attached at the hip like you two, but as long as I don’t move a muscle, I say we make a fine pair. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1565 |
I’m what the reptiles call..consumptuous. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1566 |
He's just going through a teething phase. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1567 |
Relationships are all about connection. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1568 |
"House arrest" sounds like a vacation until it happens to you. Oh, and we live in caves. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1569 |
I think he'd make a great suitcase. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1570 |
Yeah, it hurts, but we sure don't get many door-to-door siding salesmen anymore. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1571 |
I call it ‘vaccination.’ Theoretically, I’m immune to dinosaurs. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1572 |
Oh, he's at that age where he doesn't want me to leave the cave. The pet therapist calls it separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1573 |
As you can see, I'm not a stegosaurus person. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1574 |
I thought if I had this alligator on my ankle I would be the subject of a cartoon caption contest in a couple thousand years. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1575 |
He’s a rescue velociraptor. Still a bit insecure. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1576 |
The often unobserved problem with an ankle-biter is that if you lie down he has access to your neck. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1577 |
Don't worry, it's my new Air Canada carry on luggage. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1578 |
The tribal leader ordered it so I won't leave the cave. If I do he eats me. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1579 |
You only have one eye so what’s one leg? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1580 |
Trade Ya My res and balloon for Your parachute |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1581 |
No I didn't steal your damn paintings. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1582 |
Sorry, I'm homestuck... |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1583 |
verdict: have to wear an ankle bracelet for 3 months |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1584 |
How do you like my new ankle monitor? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1585 |
I'm under CAVE Arrest with a tracing device that really means business. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1586 |
Until someone invites a leash, this is how we go for a walk. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1587 |
Well, I was into older chicks, and she didn't want to die a virgin... |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1588 |
It was either this or an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1589 |
I traded in the old "ball and chain" for this? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1590 |
All the caves in this neighborhood have one, it's part of the charm! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1591 |
He's a pet. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1592 |
Does he bite? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1593 |
We’re aril working on ‘heel’. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1594 |
He's a cute pet, but sometimes he gets too frisky. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1595 |
There’s been an innovation in cave security I need to look into: it’s called the door. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1596 |
Eventually, she'll evolve to be my wife. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1597 |
He has become attach to me. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1598 |
My ankle is extremely Dino-sore. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1599 |
Would you like to hear my core beliefs? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1600 |
Welcome to the Afghanistan fitness club |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1601 |
I love him , but he's clingy . |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1602 |
It's always good manners to wipe your feet before entering. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1603 |
Home arrest isn't all that I thought it would be... |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1604 |
He must smell another amphibian on me. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1605 |
This ankle monitor bites. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1606 |
Just a neurosis I can't seem to shake. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1607 |
I can certainly give you some advice on your mucous problem. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1608 |
The top of the corporate ladder looks a lot like the bottom of it. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1609 |
It's called a prehistoric tether. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
1610 |
I told you not to bring your friends home! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1611 |
Call the dinosaur whisperer. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1612 |
It's a small price to pay for constant companionship. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1613 |
I told you it wasn't just us. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1614 |
It's just learning to heal. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1615 |
The judge was actually lenient. I need to wear it for only three months. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1616 |
What can I say, he's very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1617 |
He holding on for dear life. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1618 |
I'm thinking of a change. Do you have any more of those dogs you raise as house pets? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1619 |
I can never remember, is it femur or fibula? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1620 |
It's not the saw I had in mind. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1621 |
Well, he's basically a good boy, but the separation anxiety is a work in progress. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1622 |
I'm under house arrest indefinitely. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1623 |
Of course this home is pest free, why do you ask? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1624 |
Too much of the big ball, not enough of the little ball. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
1625 |
Prehistoric house arrest ankle monitoring system. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1626 |
I have no idea...Totally bits me... |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1627 |
For reasons I don’t need to explain, I’m selling this cave. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1628 |
The courts have found him to be far more effective than a tether. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1629 |
I'm returning him to the dinosaur rescue people--I can't get him to behave. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1630 |
What do you mean, you can't dial 911? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1631 |
Better than the electric eals |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1632 |
"I think it's called comb envy. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1633 |
He hates when I mention fossil fuel. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1634 |
We better get a grip on the situation. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1635 |
He is so fond of me! He can not stay away even for a minute ... |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1636 |
I thought he was house trained. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1637 |
If I break parole he breaks my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1638 |
I thought you said your dog didn't bite. . . . |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1639 |
Are you backbiting me? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1640 |
The ankle bracelet is to put some teeth into the pre-trial orders. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1641 |
My wife insisted we get a rescue... |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1642 |
He wasn't happy with my cave painting depiction. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1643 |
You go ahead; I'm going to get a bite first. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1644 |
Outrageous!! Dinosaurs never lived alongside humans. You must be ignoring the facts that go against your beliefs. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1645 |
It’s OK, I’ve got caveman’s comp. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1646 |
I still like my ankle biter better than yours. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1647 |
Oh, he does that |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1648 |
Your son? No. I haven't seen him. Have you checked the bowling alley? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1649 |
My leg stuck somewhere! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1650 |
Ankle bracelets are so passé. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1651 |
I just have to wait until it turns purple, becomes nostalgic, and lets go. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1652 |
I have ESA papers! He flies free,but its hard to get a doctor to state the passenger needs the emotional support of a toddler as an accommodation for air travel! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1653 |
We had a fight. He insists he is an ancestor! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1654 |
Emergency room visits are a $350 co-pay. I'm sure it will correct itself over time. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1655 |
Awww. Why can't I keep him? He won't eat much. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1656 |
Her mother told her that I'm her fiancé. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1657 |
IT'S JUST HIS WAY OF SHOWING ME AFFECTION!! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1658 |
I'm klingon-sitting for the neighbors. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1659 |
I just started him on dino-Prozac for the separation anxiety... |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1660 |
Impoundment regulations are getting swampier by the day. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1661 |
We're getting married. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1662 |
Men with beards |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1663 |
Sorry ladies, I couldn't get rid of the ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1664 |
i just cannot get over Delta's new charges for first checked bag |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1665 |
I’m losing blood, but he has to eat at some point so I figured I’d just wait it out. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1666 |
In a couple thousand years they'll be man's best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1667 |
Now that the judge imposed this ankle bracelet in lieu of cave confinement, I can get out of your way. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
1668 |
Ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1669 |
Until we invent the wheel this is all he knows how to do. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1670 |
You should say ow, Cyclops! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1671 |
It's just unrequited beastial love....no worries! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1672 |
I still have a leg up on the competition. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1673 |
Klonka said, "No pet, no sex." |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1674 |
Just separation anxiety -- they'd better hurry and invent Prozac. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1675 |
You know, you just gotta not let the anklebiters get to ya. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1676 |
Ow! Do you think there's an alternative universe where evolution's created a different 'man's best friend?' Ow! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1677 |
Yah, but ankle bracelets are SO "in" these days! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1678 |
I haven’t named him yet. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1679 |
He prefers it to a dog bone. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1680 |
Well Hera, it's sort of like being married! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1681 |
He won't let me go for walkies until he gets his bowl back. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1682 |
I get it now-- building a better roog trap means trap the roog, not the other way around. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1683 |
It seems a little excessive, but 7 months I can deal with ... |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1684 |
Sometimes pets can get too attached. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1685 |
I`m on home detention. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1686 |
They call it "house arrest." |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1687 |
My little Christmas toy joy. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1688 |
The Bronto Whisperer: I said 'heel.' Obviously we have a lot more work to do. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1689 |
Actually, the correct name is “scutellosaurus” |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1690 |
After he finishes breakfast, we'll be ready to go |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1691 |
He's hungry so it must be dinnertime. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1692 |
It's a trap! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1693 |
He came with a 30-day free trial. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1694 |
When is the nearest hospital? |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1695 |
This is how evolution works. I learn the hard way, but before I meet a gory end, we discuss what I could have done differently to ensure my survival. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1696 |
I have to wear this thing for a week because I started a fight with Grogg. If I go outside a 30 foot radius, he bites harder. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1697 |
It's called House Arrest, a new option that allows the Cave Man to protect my family against Brainwashing by those Matriarchal Evangelists. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1698 |
It's the pits. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1699 |
The original tether was born during the caveman era. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1700 |
No big deal: it's just his social consciousness venting. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1701 |
This is the latest type of ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1702 |
The real story of how a stagasaurus painted Lascaux. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1703 |
WHAT BITE |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1704 |
Yeah I have to wear him around my ankle in till I go before the tribal judges |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1705 |
A wee nip on the ankle. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1706 |
What, he's still under training. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1707 |
They gave me the tamper proof model this time. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1708 |
We're quite attached. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1709 |
I think it"s an Ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1710 |
Sorry fellas, can’t leave the cave tonight. The wife is being a bit clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1711 |
So I told the judge I’d take cave arrest with an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1712 |
Remember, you must always keep your eye on him, or else. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1713 |
I was just about to feed Spike. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1714 |
So, we meet in the trap. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1715 |
He's a high-strung breed |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1716 |
It's an ankle monitor. I'm under prehistoric house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1717 |
Well, it is progress; I believe we've gotten him over the hump. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1718 |
I parked my butt on the wrong rock so I have a boot until I pay my fine. They call it a “parking boot”. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1719 |
I was told it was 'family friendly' by the pet store owner. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1720 |
Hey guys, my advice is just live for today... I strongly suspect evolution is about to vote our one-eyed design off the island.. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1721 |
I worked from home today. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1722 |
It was buy one, get one half-off. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1723 |
He is with Homeland Security and wants to see my Voter ID. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1724 |
He doesn’t understand the word “fetch”. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1725 |
I told him we were setting him free. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1726 |
THE JUDGE SAID TWELVE TO EIGHTEEN MONTHS !! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1727 |
This never happened before Jurassic Park. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1728 |
Find My Friends App before it existed |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1729 |
Yeah, house arrest isn't that bad. They even give you a choice of ankle bracelets. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1730 |
Can you believe I have to wear an ankle monitor lizard until the next court date? |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1731 |
Puppies!!!! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1732 |
It's better than jail time. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1733 |
Yeah it’s kind of a pain, but I’m under “cave arrest” for 6 months. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1734 |
His training is on schedule, he will be ready to go home in a week! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1735 |
Have you ever wondered, why I’m here? |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1736 |
I find it helps to put on a dress and sandals and have a ball. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1737 |
I think something just bit me. Do you see anything? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1738 |
I know she is cute, but she needs training. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1739 |
I'm going to call it a leash. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1740 |
I’m trying to break him of his attachment phobia. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1741 |
What a day; first a crab attaches itself to my leg--now this! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1742 |
He's not quite domesticated. Other than that, he's really very gentle. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1743 |
I didn't see your sign "Beware of Dogasarus" |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1744 |
I'm trying to evolve. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1745 |
My wife thought we should start breeding for domestic traits. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1746 |
I know, I know they kept telling me this is a sellers market...but my wife asking me to deal with a demogorgon wrapped around my ankle so we can have a vaulted cave is a bit much. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1747 |
He came with the cave, he’s actually quite friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1748 |
Next season, I'm sticking with earrings. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1749 |
He only does this when he's teething. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1750 |
If this is your playful puppy, I don't want to see his daddy! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1751 |
I sent for Cesar, but he's working with a brontosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1752 |
She wants to turn everything blue. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1753 |
But I don't want to go for a walk. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1754 |
He doesn’t want me to go. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1755 |
It's an ankle bracelet--I'm under "cave arrest." |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1756 |
Seems like he's been teething since the turn of the first century. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1757 |
Mom, dad, please! It's the supermen! Just let me howl and plunder for ONE HOUR, and I promise I'll come straight home. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1758 |
He’s a great watching the cave while we’re out, but he does have some attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1759 |
Your journey was difficult, yes. But the deal was Enlightenment for a RED yoga ball. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1760 |
His bite is worse than his growl. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1761 |
He's not cave trained yet. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1762 |
I let him do it because he's going to be extinct soon. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1763 |
If I try to leave, my ankle monitor activates. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1764 |
yabba dabba doo. we're the real modern Stone Age Family. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1765 |
I told you we needed more mosquito repellant. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1766 |
Where are your ankle biters? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1767 |
I guess you could say I'm having a bit of a Mesozoic Era aka "Middle-Life" Crisis. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1768 |
I guess I'd better expand the 'Don't bite the hand that feeds you' concept. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1769 |
In a few years, "Snapchat" will make sense. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1770 |
Just because I de-friended him online! |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1771 |
It’s my new Stegasoreus. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1772 |
He overheard our discussion about replacing him with a vacuum cleaner. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1773 |
Does he think this is going to give him a leg up! |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1774 |
Apparently they mate for life fe |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1775 |
He's very insecure! |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1776 |
apparently I owe more than |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1777 |
Oh good! You're here! It's time for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1778 |
You like? It beats the tacky ankle bracelet my husband gave me for my birthday. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1779 |
Welcome to Jurassic B&B. Your bed's the floor and Nibbles, here, will be your breakfast. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1780 |
At least under house arrest you can finally get around to painting the walls. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1781 |
He's on the second hand paleo diet |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1782 |
"I've been placed under 'Cave Arrest'". |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1783 |
Ma, Dad It's just a fad. I will be home by 11:00 "promise". |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1784 |
It could be huge in criminal justice, only what to call it? “Anklet” hardly captures the vibe. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1785 |
He's still just a puppy. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1786 |
My wife insists that I wear this tracking device if I want to go down to the local dinosaur pub. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1787 |
Lacoste? |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1788 |
I must taste like chicken. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1789 |
It's my fault for having such sculpted calves. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1790 |
If I can catch another one, I'm going to market them as bunny slippers |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1791 |
He thinks I'll attract more after I'm dead. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1792 |
Can we all agree the eye never lies. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1793 |
No kidding, this is how they play. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1794 |
Nope! Ankle-biting solicitors still not welcome! |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1795 |
You've heard of animal husbandry? |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1796 |
It was either wear this for a month or go to jail. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1797 |
Yeah, don’t know what I’m going to do with him. Last week he took my left arm. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1798 |
I got a new pet. It's a little Jealousarus. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1799 |
But you promised I could get a pet. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1800 |
We need to evolve our depth perception. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1801 |
This cave has a two hour limit and I already have 17 unpaid violations |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1802 |
It's cool; all the kids are doing it to prove their individualism. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1803 |
I didn't have time to go grocery shopping. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1804 |
...and it’s no longer occupied! |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1805 |
It's only a nip -- he's just a puppy! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1806 |
If it didn't hurt so much, I wouldn't think this was a real The New Yorker cartoon, either. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1807 |
OK. Either you're idiot paleantologists for saying dinosaurs are distinct, or you're genius studio executives for inventing TRULY 3-D cave drawings. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1808 |
Just you wait. Someday, someone will find us and name him after me. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1809 |
He didn’t look like this when I married him!j |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1810 |
relax, bill. It's only a shadow. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1811 |
He was a really cute baby though. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1812 |
The Palestinians manage the inside but the Israelis control who gets in; therefore the Jews pray at the wall but we control which Muslims get inside. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1813 |
He got too big for the cage. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1814 |
He won't let me go to BINGO today. He's afraid of his shadow. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1815 |
Frank assured me that he's really cuddly. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1816 |
The true story behind dinosaurs extinction! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1817 |
My leg is in its jaws and I can't walk. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1818 |
Oh, he's still a teething pupper. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1819 |
I promise I'll |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1820 |
He's housebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1821 |
Then he said,'That's not my Stegosaurus.' |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1822 |
I don’t know why, but it has developed this great attachment to me! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1823 |
He is not house broken yet. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1824 |
They call it a "pet" and they say it's supposed to provide me with companionship. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1825 |
Mom, dad, please! It's the supermen! Just let me howl and plunder for ONE HOUR, and I promise I'll come straight home. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1826 |
He's a rescue from extinction with survivor's guilt. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1827 |
I'm on cave arrest and have to wear this ankle monitor." |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1828 |
I hope to return for next season. I was voted off. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1829 |
The standing desk wouldn’t fit in my cave. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1830 |
He’s endangered. Can I keep him? He will make a good lunch. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1831 |
OK maybe not now, but eventually we’ll make shoes out of them..! |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1832 |
Now you know who mangled my right arm! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1833 |
He said he prefers the old-fashioned way of biting back. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1834 |
Really |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1835 |
this totally bites. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1836 |
I am going to contest this house arrest, but at least I got to come home awaiting trial. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1837 |
you want to move to Florida!? But I've never been south of Houston!!! |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1838 |
I think I got a dead leg, but it feels different this time |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1839 |
Crocodile anklets are, like, so last eon. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1840 |
This T*!*? Devil won't let go! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1841 |
I was thinking 'Jaws of Life' but that hasn't been invented yet. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1842 |
You paint, now. Cave art or not happen. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1843 |
I got it at one of those prehistoric reptile mills. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1844 |
He's on a diet |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1845 |
Yeah. I took the milk. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1846 |
I woke up this morning with this weird thing on my ankle, I'm seeing the doctor this afternoon. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1847 |
I’m kind of a little guy, but no one believes me. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1848 |
Think of it as dental floss being stuck in your teeth. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1849 |
I didn't know I had to walk my house arrest anklet. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1850 |
Dam camouflage, he suck up on me. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1851 |
Another cave caption who'd have thunk it ? |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1852 |
That’s absurd; you’re pulling my leg! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1853 |
We are progressive. But, dating dinosaurs is still frowned upon by other patrons... |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1854 |
It's my prototype for the wooley mammoth trap |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1855 |
He mistook me for an early hominin... |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1856 |
Me going to invent 'Yes Men' |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1857 |
If you let me keep him, I promise to keep him. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1858 |
You have to try cave physical therapy. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1859 |
Fancy a bite? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1860 |
I was looking for Margaret! |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1861 |
Opps ... I told him to shut up!! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1862 |
I have to stay here, he has Extinction Anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1863 |
The pet shop told me she was an herbivore, but she has proven otherwise. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1864 |
He is not yet cave trained |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1865 |
I've been bit by the acting bug. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1866 |
She got mad when I called her Asteroid. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1867 |
Surly he's covered in your cave owners policy. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1868 |
I mean, I used the funds I embezzled to buy this cave, and all I ended up getting was cave arrest, so it's a win win as far as I'm concerned |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1869 |
I warned him, 'Let go or be dragged!' |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1870 |
The shelter got hit by one of those flaming boulders last week, he’s got nowhere to stay |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1871 |
They really do take humanlike shits. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1872 |
You had the Supreme with extra fins and no anchovies. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1873 |
Fido has separation anxiety too, but she just pees on the fire and scratches the walls of our cave. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1874 |
His Jurassic bark is much worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1875 |
He got my Achille's heel. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1876 |
I know that buying a watch Dino was a good investment. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1877 |
My cave mate does not me to leave. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1878 |
I know, man, but I got it on sale for a buck ninety-nine. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1879 |
I was going to Hawaii but... |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1880 |
Yes, but his online videos are adorable. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1881 |
I set it out to catch game. I came home one night, and of course, I forgot where I put it. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1882 |
Quit working on the wheel and invent some antibiotics, dammit! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1883 |
Don't worry.--He doesn't come with the property. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1884 |
No Madge, I wasn’t speaking metaphorically. Steve is my actual ball and change. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1885 |
It was free with my online subscription. Still trying to get used to sleeping with it on and getting all my steps in. Let's go. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1886 |
He thinks I told him to sell all of his stocks 3 years ago. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1887 |
My pet aardvark is pulling my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1888 |
Sure, but we'll have to get a sitter for this little ankle biter. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1889 |
It's the annoying ankle monitor I have to wear while I'm on cave arrest. What a drag, am I right? |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1890 |
It’s a dinosaur thing . . . ‘Jaws of Life’ in reverse. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1891 |
I'm a little bogged down right now. You guys go on without me. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1892 |
Maybe it's for the best that we were never able to have anklebiters of our own. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1893 |
Maybe we should try domesticating a cat? |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1894 |
I don’t know, Zina. I mean, I can see why you’re saying it looks like the zog has become attached to me, but my perspective remains as unclear as yours. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
1895 |
It's just one of the terms of my probation. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1896 |
Og invent ankle bracelet |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1897 |
It's a protoype for a new slipper |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1898 |
Hey doc, my leg hurts. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1899 |
Caveman rhyming slang: dumb albino—dino. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1900 |
"He's overly protective, but housebroken". |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1901 |
...and I can't eat rotten fruit while I'm on a boulder. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1902 |
How do you say 'ouch' in these pre-linguistic times? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1903 |
Bonkie bit Garp. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1904 |
Not sure about this whole "civilization" thing...First the wheel, now laws....I gotta wear this thing for 6 months for crashing my cart on New Year's Eve. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1905 |
He holding on for dear life. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1906 |
I can only take one of you, I have enough trouble already. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1907 |
"Eau de Prime Rib"...it's French. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1908 |
Keeping your pet in tow, before they invented the leash. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1909 |
It's a ransom for BITcoin. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1910 |
Down,boy! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1911 |
I don’t know guys, I just have this gnawing feeling! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1912 |
I sold the movie rights to Steven Spielberg! |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1913 |
Honest! All I said was ‘Let’s shake a leg’—I TOLD you not to get me a pre-owned Dino-vice! |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1914 |
IT'S JUST HIS WAY OF SHOWING ME AFFECTION!! |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1915 |
I told him he was underage, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1916 |
Did you bring the bacon? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1917 |
It's sad. He has only me to teethe on. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1918 |
jerry for fuck s sake i told you we're not keeping that animal in the fucking house |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1919 |
Kitty hungry! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1920 |
It's the prehistoric mantrap. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1921 |
he's already getting help. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1922 |
Cave canem. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1923 |
"Couldn't you just chew his head off? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1924 |
Yes, Enlightened Core Power, starts at 530 |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1925 |
They call it cave incarceration. He is chomped on my ankle for the next thirty days so I can't leave this cave. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1926 |
It's what he thinks about our shirt contract. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1927 |
I had to bring him home he wouldn’t leave me alone. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1928 |
Fake news! |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1929 |
It's my new ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1930 |
He’s got me by the short hairs! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1931 |
Yes Virginia... it is an angel, but it doesn't have wings. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1932 |
My new anklet charm goes everywhere with me! |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1933 |
Could you pick up some Prozac for his separation anxiety? |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1934 |
He finds my artwork unflattering. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1935 |
Great to see you. I’ve been stuck in the cave all day and I’m bored |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1936 |
He's really friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1937 |
We're taking her car, and, yes, I will be home before 10. You didn't ask these questions when I was dating Cindy. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1938 |
My advice? Start a fad using a dead animal. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
1939 |
Wikipedia said he would be vegan!" "When I fell asleep he was swatting flies. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
1940 |
Well everyone must bite the Panoplosaurus Brevis, or be bitten instead. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1941 |
An experiment in elementary courtesy gone bad. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1942 |
He wants seconds and thirds! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1943 |
It’s all the rage. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1944 |
Eat the intruders! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1945 |
He hates this weather. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1946 |
House arrest. Mueller. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1947 |
So--Your theory about the existence of the dinosaur may actually have some bite! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1948 |
I'm hoping we have something better to offer for dinner than me. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1949 |
Don't worry--Jessica's bite is worse than her bark! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1950 |
I got it for a dry skin commercial. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1951 |
it's court ordered |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1952 |
he wants me to date you |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1953 |
I'd remove it, but I hate the sight of blood. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1954 |
He likes me, I must taste like chicken. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1955 |
He's mad because I put him on a diet. No more wooly mammoths for him! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1956 |
Yes, I know you believe that in a matter of another few decades he and his kind will be wiped-out forever, but right now Jundji, your Mensa club's predictions are not helping me. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1957 |
They told me that a stegosaurus would the perfect pet because they're herbivores! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1958 |
I wish someone would invent pants! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1959 |
Was wondering if either of you have a crowbar I could use? This stray wondered in and attached himself to my lower leg. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1960 |
Don't worry, he only bites a little. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1961 |
Of all things, he's displeased with our discovery of the wheel. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1962 |
Sorry I don't fit your stereotype. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1963 |
Yes, the flat comes furnished … and I’ll throw in a portable inflator. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1964 |
no. Wrong Cave! I am not the wise old man sitting on a red ball |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
1965 |
We've ended the war on beautiful, green coal. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1966 |
To get ahead, you need the rub of the green. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
1967 |
I’ll show you how to become a high roller. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
1968 |
Sure, it's better than jail. I just wish the ankylosaurus bracelet wasn't so obvious. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1969 |
She was a shelter rescue from down south, and she still has a few attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1970 |
Shanice got some kind of little thing around her finger when she got engaged. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1971 |
Love is not a many splendored thing. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
1972 |
My wife says it'll make for a great cave painting one day. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1973 |
I asked for a new boot for Xmas |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1974 |
Scratch between the fourth and fifth fin, should do it. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1975 |
Okay, almost domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1976 |
I told him we were still vegans, but he didn't believe me. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1977 |
Please let me keep it...he's just (argh) playing... |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1978 |
It’s the new leg-bait animal trap. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1979 |
No problem, they’re extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
1980 |
You could try too, he's fond of legs. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
1981 |
Ooh bark og oo-oo agh bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1982 |
I taste like a chicken finger. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1983 |
It's not a recognized breed, but it's still an ankle-biter! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
1984 |
# cartoon with suitcases Caption "Keep Calm and Carry On!" |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1985 |
Does this dress make my hips look big? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1986 |
good news, dinosaurs not dead |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1987 |
I think i just discovered the leg-oh-sore |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1988 |
We’ve become so attached since he followed me home the other day. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1989 |
but please, we are already attached! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1990 |
No, I'm not in danger. It's an extreme form of separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1991 |
We like him, ever since he are the neighbor’s pitbull. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1992 |
Just one small step for man is--is-- |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1993 |
A T. rex ate our mailman, so.... |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1994 |
Of course we are just standing here- cameras haven’t been invented yet. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1995 |
Allow arf, arf rather than your friendly frog croak. It would make a more threatening sounding watch-amphibian. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1996 |
"He says, 'encroachment is in the mind of the beholden'... |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1997 |
Say what ya' want, I never see you bring anything for Thanksgiving |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1998 |
I’m not sure these ankle bracelets will catch on. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
1999 |
It's SO good to get away from them. They've been following me everywhere! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2000 |
This guy is the best seller these days. I know, security used to be easier. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2001 |
I don’t know about you guys, but I plan to get legless. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2002 |
House arrest for dealing wheel. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2003 |
The truth you seek is in your core. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2004 |
They told me not to worry; a new one would just grow. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2005 |
The doctor says that unfortunately it's terminal. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2006 |
I just wanted to prove it was locally sourced. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2007 |
He's called a cave arrest bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2008 |
Some beach Somewhere |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2009 |
The judicial system was just invented yesterday, and I've already got an ankle brace. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2010 |
There once was a hermit named Saul. Who joked about his extra large ball. But in this day and age, even for a sage. That wouldn't be appropriate at all. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2011 |
Finders-Keepers !! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2012 |
They can be a bit aggressive, but I refuse to go back to pasteurized milk. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2013 |
Thanks for the heads-up, guys. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2014 |
No, he usually doesn't bite. Why do you ask? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2015 |
Don't worry. He's hypoallergenic. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2016 |
Thanks, but I've a gnawing feeling I'll be a home-body. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2017 |
My town hall is next week. This is my fundraiser. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2018 |
Yeah, it's community service and house arrest until I test negative for carbs. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2019 |
And this is my little ankle biter. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2020 |
What do you mean, Shake a leg? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2021 |
'She says she'll convert' |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2022 |
He never breaks the skin. In the future his bloodline will be known by the symbols A C D |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2023 |
Whatcha staring at? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2024 |
What do you think of my new ankle bracelet? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2025 |
Aside from the biting, they make good pets. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2026 |
My last roommate chased it around like it was toy ball. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2027 |
However, I do know the secret to everlasting peas. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2028 |
The judge told me I could live in the Big House if I didn’t like wearing him while I’m under house arrest. I just wish he didn’t clash with my décor. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2029 |
My wife won't be joining us. She's indisposed. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2030 |
He won best in show, but he's so young he hasn't yet learned Sit! Attack! |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2031 |
Hunting and gathering in one simple step. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2032 |
I got the idea from the gas station bathroom key. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2033 |
It was a one eyed one horned flying purple people eater. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2034 |
He's figured out how to spell T-Rex. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
2035 |
I call him Albatross |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
2036 |
It's very att-AH-ched to me! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2037 |
I hear these things taste like a t-tex, but more tender. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2038 |
You should have seen him before I domesticated him. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2039 |
Fellow Thespians..This is how " Break -A- Leg " evolved. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2040 |
What's the matter? Legosarous got your leg? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2041 |
Good lawyer talk judge down to 6 moon cave arrest for insider gathering. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2042 |
Someday, this'll be the invention of Naugahyde. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2043 |
It's an anklebiterasaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2044 |
I thought Brother Joshua said all living things died in the apocalypse. Maybe we actually can walk out of this cave? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2045 |
I'm hoping for a quick case of foot and mouth disease. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2046 |
Yes but when it comes house arrest this one I can get off. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2047 |
He doesnt like it when I leave the cave without him. He doesn’t like it when I try to leave the cave without him. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2048 |
I think he found his supper! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2049 |
He told me to feed it while he was out hunter-gathering. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2050 |
her lawyer got a restraining order. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2051 |
He apparently has a foot fetish. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2052 |
Ow that hurts |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2053 |
He's a cave pet. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2054 |
He's checking if the shoes are geuine Tyrannosaurs or a knockoff |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2055 |
Hey, can I bum a cigarette? |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2056 |
gooble-de-gook gooble-de-gook ~ he's got teething |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2057 |
He needs a home. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2058 |
Have either of you heard about this new thing called a leash? |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2059 |
Last of the dinosaurs. Ain’t he cute. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2060 |
We've become very attracted. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2061 |
I think you should leave now. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2062 |
He answers to Donald Trump. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2063 |
Don't pet him. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
2064 |
It lacks a human element. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2065 |
He was supposed to be sitting for his portrait. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2066 |
The judge just ordered me under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2067 |
She doesn't have teeth. She's licking the salt off my gams. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2068 |
A wild, carnivorous beast on the loose -- those are just alLEGations |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2069 |
I've been pondering the expression"I'm rolling in green"(for the January 1 cartoon) |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2070 |
'' He's after mY iguanodon spare rib recipe." |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2071 |
Judge made it a condition of my bail. Fortunately, skinny jeans are no longer in fashion or I don't know what I'd do. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2072 |
He isn't worth a shit as a guard dog, but he can fetch the fuck out of slippers. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2073 |
It’s an innovative new form of rehabilitative justice called “house arrest”. Just think how persuasive it will be in deterring corruption in the centuries to come. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2074 |
I thought we were auditioning for the 'Allegory of the Cave'? |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2075 |
What are you talking about? Anklets are totally back in style. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2076 |
Og gave me 90 days on the tether. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2077 |
Ever heard of a Denver Boot? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2078 |
For New Years, I'm not going to "kick it" big like in previous years. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2079 |
let's try another pet. My husband would like a dog but I do not know and it's a good idea. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2080 |
I know I'm always hesitant to new fashion trends, but I don't think a Stegosaurus will make for comfortable footwear. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2081 |
She's waiting for a better apology for groping her in the 80s. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2082 |
How do you like my new leg weight? |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2083 |
Once you discover your core, you must work on it everyday. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2084 |
This situation reminds me of the internet story about Abraham Lincoln and the barking dog. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2085 |
With altitude the wind gets so strong you can blow up balloons like that? |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2086 |
They didn't have these when I was young. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2087 |
It's a big green ball, and I'm sorry, but you were only allowed one question. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2088 |
Wanna see my abs? |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2089 |
I’m skipping the middle man. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2090 |
Yes, I'm a yogi and it is BPA free. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2091 |
The secret to happiness is solitude, meditation, and ergonomic seating. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2092 |
I'll have to admit having this large lizard clamped on my ankle is a nuisance, but at least people no longer notice my large nose!! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2093 |
Can I keep him, PLEASE !!!!! |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2094 |
Grogg think first take skin off horrible biting log, THEN make shoes from skin, not other was around. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2095 |
And you wonder why I can't break through the glass ceiling. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2096 |
If I step one foot outside the cave, I lose the other one. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2097 |
At least it's a herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2098 |
She doesn't like being separated from me |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2099 |
Meet my wife Linda... The original ball & chain... |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2100 |
Today I learned that the earth really is just 6000 years old. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2101 |
I don’t mind staying in the cave, it’s the ankle bracelet that bothers me about house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2102 |
If 'twas a Leprechaun you'd be looking for he vanished, he did! |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2103 |
Feeding him is easy, but the vet bills will kill you. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2104 |
Got too stoned last night, and they put me on house arrest. Sweet anklet, though, right? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2105 |
It's a home confinement dinosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2106 |
It's my cave-arrest ankle bracelet |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2107 |
When you say something dumb and your subconscious realizes it. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2108 |
Now wait, it might be politically correct to remove my leg so he isn't traumatized, but come on!!!! |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
2109 |
Obedience training starts next week. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2110 |
They told me her place was mantrap but I wasn't prepared for this. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |
2111 |
Lovely visit, thanks - I promise I'll be by when I'm out of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2112 |
It was this or a week of hard labor in the rock pit... |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2113 |
The village elders sentenced me to cave confinement for double dipping at the holiday gathering. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2114 |
This really hurts but I think I just invented the wheel clamp. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2115 |
It seemed like it was worth a try after the dog domestication thing turned out so well. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2116 |
My husband doesn't like my thick ankles, so I decided to get plastic surgery. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2117 |
It's my anti- kidnap plan! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2118 |
He cost an arm and a leg but the cave feels so much safer now |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2119 |
The vet calls it "separation angst." |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2120 |
Oh no no no...! This isn’t my breach. I told her I was attached to animals, WHAT??? Sorry. Not MY breach of promise! I told her about my attachment to animals. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2121 |
Honey, you forgot to wear your dinosaur repellent again. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2122 |
The alternative was jail ... |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2123 |
There’s something on your leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2124 |
It's called "home detention". |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2125 |
I have been having a bad day! First I misplaced my glasses and I have been having this mysterious pain in my ankle. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2126 |
Clouseau, you said your stegosaurus didn't bite. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2127 |
It beats Weight Watchers. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2128 |
And, my husband said he was friendly and housebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2129 |
In three weeks I get a boot |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2130 |
They warned me he was a stage 4 clinger |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2131 |
I swore I said 'STEGosaurus' when ordering it... |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2132 |
I wouldn't let him pose for the new mural. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2133 |
Dino is a leg up on my last pet |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2134 |
Its a misdemeanor offense so I'm on herbivore house parole. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2135 |
I was out of milk-bones |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2136 |
He's not cave-trained . |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2137 |
I can't go out tonight. I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2138 |
I swear he doesn't normally do this. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2139 |
It has a snug fit. I suggest we make loafers out of it. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2140 |
I'm starting a fad. Two weeks and everybody will want one. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2141 |
Don't worry, he only eats Vegans. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2142 |
I assure you, sir. We do not have bedbugs. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2143 |
Don't worry, he's friendly. He's just a little needy. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2144 |
The prosecutor offered us 4-6 months or cave confinement with ankle bracelet. I think I need a new lawyer. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2145 |
It would be superfluous to say he is very attached to me |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2146 |
Santorum warned us ! I should have listened |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2147 |
The ankle monitor chafes a bit, but all in all being placed under cave arrest is much better than jail. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2148 |
Its all right, it lost its teeth mistaking small round boulders for dinosaur eggs. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2149 |
It's an anklosore. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2150 |
I'll catch up once they deliver the mastodon jerky. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2151 |
There's something on my leg-osaurus |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2152 |
We're still trying to decide if this species can be domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2153 |
The Police ran out of ankle bracelets. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2154 |
The fire was awesome. But I would push back this "wheel" thing, and move up a muzzle… Definitely, a muzzle. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2155 |
Thanks, but I think I need to stay home and start dealing with his separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2156 |
I can't wait till we evolve depth perception. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2157 |
Albatross? What albatross? |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2158 |
Doctor Urg says we've made real progress with his Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2159 |
He says that he likes me or maybe that he licks me |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2160 |
Synchronized naked dancing! Now! It's bound to distract him. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2161 |
He doesn't bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2162 |
My resolution? Shed some weight. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2163 |
Hmm. I'm not sure. Should we get another pair of eyes? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2164 |
All I did was give him the command, "Sit Trump, sit." |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2165 |
We feel it would be best if you would find a place of your own |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2166 |
Some sort of growth. Doc says I have to have an operation to remove it. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2167 |
Sometimes you eat the euoplocephalus and sometimes the euoplocephalus, well, he eats you. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2168 |
I have to wear it everywhere until I go to trial. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2169 |
I wish I had my club with me but I don't have a concealed carry permit. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2170 |
He's a fear-biter. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2171 |
Thor Thunderbach - The Father of Domestication |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2172 |
Perhaps domestication is not for another ion or more |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2173 |
We really got attached to each other! Can I keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2174 |
No, I have not read Moby Dick, why do you ask? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2175 |
It's my wife's mother, she's just staying for the weekend |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2176 |
He goes with me wherever I go. He's attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2177 |
It's the newest thing - a dyno-doggie door. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2178 |
Well, just look on the bright side! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2179 |
He's here all right, but I had to drag him. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2180 |
I've been trying to send it back. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2181 |
I can't stand this ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2182 |
It’s not a breed problem! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2183 |
I thought leg hold traps were illegal. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2184 |
Can I keep him, Ma and Pa? Can I keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2185 |
He says he wants to be my pet |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2186 |
I have no idea what it is but Ralph brought it home from the dinosaur pound yesterday and he has been on my leg ever since! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2187 |
It's his punishment for eating my ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2188 |
It's starting to teethe. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2189 |
Well it is cuffing season... |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2190 |
You are right; I really do need to call the homo sapien rescue! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2191 |
I'm under house arrest until the arraignment. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2192 |
boo |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2193 |
If I had furniture, this wouldn't happen. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2194 |
It’s called a “pet.” Her name is Fluffy Truffy Fuzzball. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2195 |
House arrest. Leaving the cave risks instant pterodactyl attack. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2196 |
They want this to be much funnier than the last caveman cartoon. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2197 |
He also does the grass. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2198 |
I would love to go, but travel is such a drag. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2199 |
Unfortunately this is his forever home. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2200 |
He wants to be fed. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2201 |
There's no such thing as a free mattress. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2202 |
He thinks I’m his key to the Neolithic Age. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2203 |
I’ve tried to return him but the pound says he’s extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2204 |
You didn't say what kind of meat. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2205 |
Millie's cat is warming up to me... |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2206 |
He is afraid of becoming prehistoric! |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
2207 |
Actually, its "Haaar-RHEEEEEE-Yuh-Yuh-Yuh" is far worse than its bite. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
2208 |
It's more touchy feely than a leash. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
2209 |
I'm still on parole. Last week's saber tooth tiger was much worse. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
2210 |
I think I prefer a dog or a cat. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
2211 |
I’m getting an idea for footwear. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
2212 |
We thought he'd be easier to train. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
2213 |
We've conditioned him to re-direct his impulses. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
2214 |
How green was my valley? This is all that's left, son. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
2215 |
This dino ankle security bracelet allows me to move about okay and it is way better than being locked up in a cave. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2216 |
Although possessive, legosores can become great pets. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2217 |
Don't worry about Dino, his growl is worse than his bite |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2218 |
His name is Harry. He's got attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2219 |
fuckfuckshitfuckgoddammitfuckgoddammitmotherfuckershitshitfuckpissshitassdickfartfuckfuckshit. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2220 |
She's really very gentle. She only bites when she meets new people. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2221 |
It's a game of chicken. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2222 |
You wouldn’t call it a pearl of wisdom if you were two birds in the bush. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2223 |
I mean, sure, house arrest stinks, but the outside world is worse. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2224 |
It's a birthday gift from my husband called a Denver boot |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2225 |
Split levels. Great garage space. But really tough enforcement of mortgage payments. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2226 |
It’s a food desert in this neighborhood and Rocco only eats raw-organic. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2227 |
His brother is the nasty one. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2228 |
Yes, but my unsupervised cave leave is worth the inconvenience |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2229 |
He's better behaved than it looks like. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2230 |
We warned you a lockodillo costs an arm and a leg |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2231 |
At least he isn't writing on the walls. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2232 |
I promise to walk him, and train him and feed him everyday! |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2233 |
Ouch, my shin. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2234 |
His owner will be back on Wednesday. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2235 |
He claims copyrights on my Lacoste dress. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2236 |
It's a security device. I call it a 'boot.' |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2237 |
No, not exactly a rescue... |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2238 |
It's my wife's and my first child - I read that they call this 'teething'. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2239 |
I'm sorry that I can't give you a leg up. |
1.0000 |
0.05407 |
19 |
19 |
0 |
0 |
2240 |
I didn’t imagine my cave arrest monitor would be so bitey. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2241 |
He's actually an herbivore, so I worry what paleontologists will think if he doesn't let go. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2242 |
He said he's tired of me putting my foot in my mouth. |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2243 |
I have named him Al, Al Franken |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2244 |
The hunt did not go well and he no longer sees me as alpha. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2245 |
Judge Gronk's orders: house arrest and monitoring anklet. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2246 |
It's really more of a mutual relationship than it looks! |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2247 |
There goes 33% of humanity |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2248 |
It's the only way he'll go out to go potty. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2249 |
First one to blink dies. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2250 |
He's still too primitive for training. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2251 |
She loved her bath, so I thought I'd try to milk her. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2252 |
I'm more hurt that he won't condemn the Alt-bite. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2253 |
How do you like the New Tyranno Rex Leg Trap, stops them dead in their tracks |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2254 |
Full domestication is still a millennia or two away. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2255 |
My advice? Buy a good exercise ball. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2256 |
Look, she sees right through the crocodile tears. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2257 |
What can I say? He's a cavebody. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2258 |
I told you I was under house arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2259 |
This is what you get for having pets. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2260 |
Have you seen my other sockasaurus anywhere? |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2261 |
I don't think we should count on a speedy extinction. |
1.0000 |
0.03922 |
26 |
26 |
0 |
0 |
2262 |
For a docent, her knowledge goes really far back. Don't you think she deserves a tip? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2263 |
Aiming for "man's best friend" but it turns out breeding is a lot trickier than I thought. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2264 |
I told him my brother would make a much more tasty meal. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2265 |
I get two-day delivery on everything! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2266 |
I was thinking of calling him Cujosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2267 |
He's outgrown my carry-on. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2268 |
We are emotionally and physically attached. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2269 |
He's giving me a leg's up. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2270 |
Mom, Dad... I want you to meet my new girlfriend. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2271 |
I’m telling you; bait prices have gone thru the roof |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2272 |
He ate the dog so of course we have to keep him. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2273 |
I think I forgot to feed it. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2274 |
He only bits me, not strangers! |
1.0000 |
0.05717 |
18 |
18 |
0 |
0 |
2275 |
Do you either of you have pet store alligator treat you could lend me ... right now? |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2276 |
Ugg Ugg OW! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2277 |
Blue passports man. We've got blue passports. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2278 |
The landscaper is a bit aggressive. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2279 |
Looks like Muckle wants her din-din. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
2280 |
It took some time for the concept of pets to sink in. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2281 |
he is just a puppy |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2282 |
Louise, I'm not leaving the prehistoric theme escape room with only one leg, I don't care how long we have to stay! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2283 |
I call her “New Yorker Humor” because she’s got no taste. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2284 |
Everyone warned me that Walter was codependent but this is a bit much |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2285 |
I don't know what it is. He liked your last boyfriend just fine. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2286 |
As soon as I pay the 12 stone penalty, I’ll get my wagon back |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2287 |
Just don't turn your back on my pet anklesauris |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2288 |
So why would I want to steal anything from your cave? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2289 |
I'm not certain but I think it's a Legissoreas Heck. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2290 |
We're in the process of cave-training her. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2291 |
You think this is a problem - the pterodactyl just learned to fly and is trying to poke my eye out! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2292 |
He hates being left behind; it shouldn't be more than a flesh wound. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2293 |
The sitter canceled so I brought the ankle biter. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2294 |
I would have swiped left. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2295 |
He doesn't want to 'Go Home.' |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2296 |
In the future this will be called and ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2297 |
Actually, when I asked, "if your ankleasorus bites?", ...I assumed that this was your ankleasorus. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2298 |
He says it's yummy. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2299 |
She gets jealous on poker night. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2300 |
You may have discovered fire but I discovered separation anxiety! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2301 |
I know I've bailed on dinner before, but this time I'm really caught up in something. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2302 |
We've signed him up for obedience school, but the class doesn't start until next Monday. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2303 |
I shouldn't have gotten a rescue, the separation anxiety is killer. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2304 |
I look like a treat. Man is it hard to house break this guy. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2305 |
We're going to hold up here for the Ice Age, you're welcome to join. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2306 |
Science is right, we can't co-exist |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2307 |
he says he wants to show me his secret blend of herbs and spices. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
2308 |
Plato said it was just a shadow, and I believed him. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2309 |
He's part of Betsy Devos' new loan repayment incentive program. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2310 |
I don't care if it takes me a million years, I'm going to domesticate something around here! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2311 |
He's a LabraSaurus Retriever |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2312 |
Stegosaurus Whisperer counsels owner to establish new alpha male of the house. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2313 |
I'd love to go with you guys, but I can't leave the cave 'til after the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2314 |
Og says he’s just teething, but you know what a joker Og is... |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2315 |
Down by the swamp, these ankle bracelets are a dime a dozen. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2316 |
Can we keep him? Please? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2317 |
Separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2318 |
Roomba |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2319 |
Petfinder said he was herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2320 |
He stopped chewing the curtains. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2321 |
The rescue agency said he'll outgrow it. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2322 |
Fluffy needs some anger management but I'm sure she'll grow out of it with your love and affection. She's free ! ! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2323 |
I think we can now all agree that the ankle-lizards are NOT fake news. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2324 |
WE ARE TRYING TO BOND |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2325 |
He's over his eyeball phase and onto legs now. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2326 |
Welcome to my cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2327 |
I would whack it, kill it and eat it, but it’s the last one. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
2328 |
He's a rescue, but if anything he rescued me - except for my leg, which will need to be rescued. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2329 |
So you see, this is how the "bear trap" works. Now someone get this thing off my feet |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2330 |
Since I'm under cave arrest I need to wear the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2331 |
It's not what it looks like. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2332 |
"They paroled me but I had to be dino-chipped." Jan Griffin, Long Beach, CA |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
2333 |
It's painful, but they're vegans. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2334 |
Do I have this evolution thing correct? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2335 |
One minute I was petting him by the fire, and......... |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2336 |
My leg hold trap backfired. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2337 |
No problem...He's current on his Rabies shots! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2338 |
Think of it as a starter home that prepares you for having children. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2339 |
Like my new piercing? |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
2340 |
It hurts to grow apart. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
2341 |
He's not serious; he's always pulling my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
2342 |
He's still a little confused about the fetching command. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
2343 |
He ran out of floss |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2344 |
I forgot the chicken password |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2345 |
I'm teaching him rough-and-tumble play. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2346 |
They put me on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2347 |
He's easy to take care of but he suffers from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2348 |
It's the latest craze - a dyno-doggie door. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2349 |
He's a "leg up" up on me, but we co-exist |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2350 |
Only way I can keep him from running away from home. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2351 |
Yeah, he's sort of cute; but I can't wait for Stuffies to be invented. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
2352 |
I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to park here. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2353 |
Have you heard of the concept of the pet? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2354 |
Do you have gatorade? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2355 |
We are still negotiating this domesticity thing. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2356 |
I took him in, and he's been attached to me ever since. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2357 |
Sorry, I'm under house arrest at the moment. This ankle bracelet really chafes. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2358 |
He 's absolutely unaware it's a prosthesis. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2359 |
It was a requirement of house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2360 |
Well, Christmas is over and I may need to rehome this little guy. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2361 |
Just my luck. A monitor lizard for an ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2362 |
And security is included. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2363 |
It's okay, really - I'm sure she's just being friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2364 |
The good news is he's a certified pure bred Stegasaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2365 |
He has a bit of separation anxiety whenever I get ready to leave. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2366 |
And if you act now, I'll throw in an aphorism for four easy payments of $19.99, plus shipping and handling. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2367 |
True. But we have a generous benefits package and can deduct state and local taxes |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2368 |
Your mom was right--success in life starts with good posture. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2369 |
I can’t afford to move, I’m living on my nest egg. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2370 |
My man cave still needs a few adjustments. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2371 |
This house arrest really bites! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2372 |
There is no need for concern because I am as meticulous with my pet’s dental hygiene as I am with my own. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2373 |
I've decided to include him in my drawings. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2374 |
Don’t worry he just has speration anxiety |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2375 |
Not to worry. He'll be prehistoric in million or so years. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2376 |
I've been thinking about switching to a standing desk. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2377 |
I was only standing for a minute waiting for my wife and the damned Department of Transportation snapped this boot on me. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2378 |
The vet said he has attachment anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2379 |
It's a "human trap". |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2380 |
It's kind of a symbiotic relationship. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2381 |
It's my ankle lock I'm under house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2382 |
They have me on house arrest until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2383 |
She's a bit clingy but I noticed we get less mice in the cave! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2384 |
You guys go. I don't want to be a drag. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2385 |
Not to worry, just a temporary tapir lock . |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2386 |
My lawyer told me house arrest was a good deal. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2387 |
I’m confined to 30 feet of freedom and then he bites! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2388 |
My resolution this year is to lose weight. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2389 |
I'll just wait until he becomes extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2390 |
Take me to the intensive cave unit! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2391 |
Shhhh.... The dog does not like surprises |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2392 |
My wife wants me to stay home tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2393 |
As long as he doesn't make me come to all his stupid petroglyph exhibits, he's still a better roommate than Fred. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2394 |
Can’t wait invent they invent the balk and chain |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2395 |
I'm trying to ween him off the local dinosaurs. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2396 |
Me and my wife were playing with ways to spice up our love life. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2397 |
Ever hear of separation anxiety? Bella decided this was the best way to deal with hers. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2398 |
Only one more week of house arrest and I'm a free man. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2399 |
At least with Steggie, there are no attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2400 |
I feel like a leg end in my own time. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2401 |
He ate the pitbull, my husband and the cleaning lady. He left the conoli's. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2402 |
They wanted to put some teeth into my ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2403 |
I'm on parole. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2404 |
He lost his rubber chicken. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2405 |
I’m on this thing called house arrest... |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2406 |
The parole officer said I can't leave my cave without it. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2407 |
Guess who's coming for dinner? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2408 |
Ouch. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2409 |
I just got an idea for a critter removal service. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2410 |
I can't go out tonight. I got a dinosaur on my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2411 |
If you don't let him know you're the alpha male, he'll eat you for lunch. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2412 |
Attachment parenting |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2413 |
He is not entirely clear on the meaning of "Heel". |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2414 |
It’s really just a sign of affection. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2415 |
I've invented a "Cave Security System," but it still needs some adjustments. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2416 |
He followed me home. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2417 |
I feel a draft |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2418 |
This is what I meant by I couldn't go hunting. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2419 |
I really put my foot in his mouth when I decided to take him home. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2420 |
I stood in a NON RESTING zone. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2421 |
The jail ran out of ankle monitors. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2422 |
He's afraid I'll leave him. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2423 |
So, who’s hungry? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2424 |
The judge put me on house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2425 |
I'll be glad when boots are invented. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2426 |
This domestication thing is really starting to catch on. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2427 |
She’s mad because her root vegetables were under-cooked. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2428 |
I think I’ve invented an animal trap. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2429 |
This is the new house arrest bracelet |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2430 |
Krog wear ankle monitor lizard until trial. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2431 |
It's leg day |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2432 |
Dude, I can't believe they booted me just for jaywalking! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2433 |
I am optimistic things will improve with commercialization of ankle bracelets |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2434 |
It’s the beginning of a charm bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2435 |
You know, house arrest . . . |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2436 |
He's not quite cave-broken. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2437 |
This proves it! 60 seconds is enough time to move the rock in front of the door before security system activates! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2438 |
He just started teething. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
2439 |
No worries. He’s just got a craving for leg of human. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2440 |
I have to wear an ankle monitor. Someone gave me a tip on Stone Ax futures. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2441 |
When I told the shelter I wanted a rescue, this is not what I had in mind. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2442 |
He came with the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2443 |
It's not an exercise ball, it's piles. You try sitting on cold rock for years on end! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2444 |
It is impossible to get down from here. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2445 |
You’re obviously not on the ball! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2446 |
I know, I know, I should put him on one of those long whatchamacallits. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2447 |
I’d love to go out with you guys but as you can see, Rover, suffers from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
2448 |
My lawyer got me off with cave arrest with an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2449 |
The pet store people told me he has been trained to clue me when he needs to go for a walk. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2450 |
I ran out of Dino treats. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
2451 |
He said it's an ankle bracelet. He said his other wives got used to it. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2452 |
I'm developing a new concept I call the Paleo Diet. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2453 |
I said I think I see a meteor. He didn't like that. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2454 |
It's my last week of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2455 |
Mail? What the hell is "mail"? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2456 |
I think we need to invent even better ankle jewelry. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
2457 |
He’s almost domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2458 |
He used to just HUMP! |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2459 |
He's really very friendly once he gets to know you. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2460 |
Another one on my left foot will give me alligator shoes. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2461 |
Couldn't find a collar that would fit. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2462 |
its only a 30 day house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2463 |
His bark is worse than his... nope, I am quite wrong. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2464 |
I know what this looks like, and I want to be clear about one thing: I wasn't trying to get it to suck my dick. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2465 |
One more day with my home confinement bracelet until I am off restriction. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2466 |
Separate compartments on long flights has made all the difference |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2467 |
He thinks I am the Alpha Male. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2468 |
The judge says that if the jury acquits me, I can take this off. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2469 |
I tried to tell her that I had already paid off all those parking tickets. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2470 |
It won't let go of the past. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2471 |
You see it stops someone from going out and committing more crimes. I'm looking for investors. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2472 |
Moments in Evolutionary History: The Extinction of the two-legged Chicken. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2473 |
I think I found your lost Tyrannosaurus Fillmore! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2474 |
I hear they're working on an electronic version that's not so cumbersome. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2475 |
I dont think I can make it to the Troglodyte Dance, my parents are still mad I cant start a fire. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2476 |
He’s so attached to me, can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2477 |
I can't go on the hunt with you today, I have a prior commitment. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2478 |
I didn't even know I was under investigation. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2479 |
His is separation anxiety is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2480 |
From a discount rug store, why? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2481 |
Because I criticized Trump I have to wear this monitoring device; and feed it. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2482 |
Donald is giving him to Mr Wolff. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2483 |
House arrest isn't so bad. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2484 |
Sorry, man. You should have locked the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2485 |
He's needy when extinction is near |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2486 |
Gernlurf, vacation's over. Time to me in school, right, Mom and Dad? I'll be home in summer. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2487 |
Hey, could you call security company, I think i'm going to be late again. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2488 |
He's become attached since 23andme showed our close ancestral past. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2489 |
Don’t mind him. The love-biting thing is just a passing phase for our little herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2490 |
I wouldn't mind so much if I had the right outfit to wear with it. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2491 |
Ever since he wondered in here we've been attached |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2492 |
Don't just stand there, go get your clubs!! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2493 |
I have no choice but to report this to the caveowners association. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2494 |
Yeah, my mother says it's a parasite, but we're in love. We're getting married next week in Vegas. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2495 |
It couldn't let go of me, so I decided to bring it back. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2496 |
It's my ankle bracelet for house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2497 |
His separation anxiety is getting out of hand! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2498 |
It's such a primitive way to track my movements. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2499 |
Oh, Sorry.......Don't worry.....he gets hungry when he meets new people. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2500 |
How did you guess he flunked obedience training? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2501 |
They swore he'd stop teething soon! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2502 |
Don't mind him, he's just my paligator |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2503 |
How do you like my new ankle accessory? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2504 |
I'm going to need help with dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2505 |
He gets anxious with new dwellers. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2506 |
Can you change his litter box? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2507 |
This "freak" wonts my leg . Any one have a quick ideal that will "work." |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2508 |
I get a better sleep with an ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2509 |
I thought you said your dog didn't bite. . . . |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2510 |
It came from the drained swamp and Obamacare won't cover the surgical removal. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2511 |
The leash hasn't been invented yet. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2512 |
Our relationship needs to evolve, he is the primordial equivalent of a dog |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2513 |
I told her you’d bring meat. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2514 |
I thought we agreed to meet in Plato's alligator. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2515 |
I can't come along. I am under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2516 |
He's jealous of the pterodactyl. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2517 |
I’m seeing an orthopedic surgeon this afternoon. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2518 |
He doesn't want to go to dino training. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2519 |
Guess what? We're food. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2520 |
I told you I am not an experienced child sitter. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2521 |
I'm under house arrest for another week. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2522 |
It's an ankle monitor. I'm a T-rex offender. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2523 |
It's Housewifery Rex, and he will never go extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2524 |
He's yours if you want him -- he attaches easily. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2525 |
He's costing me an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2526 |
Rover-saurus does not like to be left alone! |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2527 |
It is a new program, called "cave arrest." |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2528 |
It's an AlexAndAnisaur. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2529 |
It's all the rage in Pangea. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2530 |
Ankle therapy, it’s new. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2531 |
This house arrest is a drag. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2532 |
Oh no, lol. Of course this is not a ankle monitor. If it were, you'd be the first I'd tell. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2533 |
He isn't fully housebroken, yet. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2534 |
I thought you said your dog does not bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2535 |
It is a problem - I can never leave him alone. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2536 |
We've been having disagreements about the rent. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2537 |
It started as nagging knee pain, but it seems to be spreading |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2538 |
It started out as a rash. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2539 |
'I guess he loves me." |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2540 |
Train him? His brain’s the size of a walnut. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2541 |
No, I need a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2542 |
What's the price on this Yoga Ball?? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2543 |
Yes, it hurts. But according to Caesar, I’m supposed to be calm and assertive. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2544 |
The previous owner doesn’t want to give it up. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2545 |
Love bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2546 |
I'm on cave arrest till the equinox. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2547 |
I'd love to go out with you but I'm still under caver arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2548 |
Love bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2549 |
The doctor said to if it still hurts in a couple weeks I should come back and he’ll get an x-ray. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2550 |
Finn doesn't like it when friends come over. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2551 |
Turns out they come small as well, though you'd never know it from the two-eye media. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2552 |
Try all you'd like to make me stay. I'm leaving you 2 fossils. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2553 |
In another 80 million years it will make a great pet. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2554 |
He's learning "No Bite!" |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2555 |
Why, how did you tear your Achilles? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2556 |
I think your wife is taking that "ball and chain" remark from last week's dinner party too seriously, Jeff. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2557 |
I was trying to drag her back by her hair and she bit me. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2558 |
I guess I won't be playing bridge this afternoon unless you let him be our fourth. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2559 |
Don't worry, his bark is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2560 |
I knew this might happen. It's the dreaded legadillo... |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2561 |
He’ll let go at dawn. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2562 |
He just gets a little nervous during meteor showers. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2563 |
It looks like your trap failed buddy, better luck next time! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2564 |
He disappointed Im back before sundown. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2565 |
He'a dragoning me but won't let go! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2566 |
I swear a rock killed him. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2567 |
I think it's a painful case of right limb separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2568 |
I’m in cave confinement. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2569 |
I"m not hungry, I already had a bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2570 |
Sorry I cannot come over. My little friend wants me to stay home |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2571 |
I thought the Chief would shun me, but I just got cave detention. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2572 |
Wait til you see him roll over! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2573 |
Because green is my favorite color. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2574 |
Posture, my son, it's all about proper posture. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2575 |
Hello, Sisyphus, thou Sissy-Face! So now, just roll this ball back on down, and keep on rolling! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2576 |
If he could bark it probably wouldn't be worse than his bite. Owww. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2577 |
at least it's not a monkey on your back |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2578 |
In the old days, we had to use a hand axe. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2579 |
Ok, I’m undocumented, but they’ve got to come up with a more lightweight ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2580 |
I'd better say no for tonight--he's been acting out since I went back to work. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2581 |
Sorry guys, I’m still on house arrest for another two weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2582 |
I wish I'd heeded your warning -- she IS a man-eater. She's chewed me up. I just hope she'll spit me out. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2583 |
A rescue hatchling. Quite rare since that last extinction event. Can you recommend a professional trainer? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2584 |
He's a bit clingy, but I feel wanted. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2585 |
He's just a little saur at me right now. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2586 |
I don't leave home without one. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2587 |
can you please help me get this leg out of my mouth? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2588 |
A perfect pet for us—fierce but knows when to stop. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2589 |
Find a pet somewhere else, I am all he has to hold onto |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2590 |
This is Harvey who is very attached to me and needs comforting since none of his friends wants to be around him anymore. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2591 |
He’s always had a leg up on us. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2592 |
Obama care had it's hold on us for years, now maybe we can move forward out of this cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2593 |
Am I setting a bad precedent by keeping an animal around? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2594 |
Since it was outside of the usual hunting hours, I can't put in for a Workers Comp claim. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2595 |
I'm letting him get used to trusting me. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2596 |
And they s |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2597 |
In our own ways, we both suffer from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2598 |
... yada, yada, yada ... |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2599 |
I was just tickling him. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2600 |
I must say, this yoga ball are by far the best invention. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2601 |
Welcome, stranger. Linger and savor our organic retreat. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2602 |
When fecundity and mortality go wrong, this is what happens. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2603 |
This is much better. We used to be attached at the hip. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2604 |
I know the Air BnB listing said ‘No Pets’, but really she’s a sweat heart. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2605 |
The judge says I have to wear this ankle bracelet until the trial is over because I am a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2606 |
No worries. Hs bark is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2607 |
Bootisaurus...this cave has a strict policy. Can you lend me some clams to get this thing off me? |
1.0000 |
0.04446 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
0 |
2608 |
I put it on eBay because we don’t go to the beach that often. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2609 |
Don't bother setting an extra place. He says he's not hungry. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2610 |
Since we have not invented shoes yet, he decided a bit of leg chewing was in order. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2611 |
...but we agree on what temperature to keep the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2612 |
Don't you know striped animals? They hurt me. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2613 |
Made in the USA Shoe Manufacturing is rough out here these days. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2614 |
Steg, had a bone to pick about guard duty. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2615 |
We've grown attached. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2616 |
He may be an ankle-biter, but he's MY ankle-biter. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2617 |
His kind lived during the Mesozoic era, not the Stone Age. "I must be dreaming", I told him. "Pinch me". |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2618 |
It’s the latest innovation in hair removal. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2619 |
He holds me back. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2620 |
We stay home on vacations. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2621 |
Wow. Nice ankyloset. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2622 |
this is just temporary until the steel prison bars are ready. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2623 |
The house arrest bracelet comes off as soon as I agree to stop questioning authority. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2624 |
I get it off when I pay my jaywalker's fines. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2625 |
Sure, you did fire and you did the wheel. I just invented acupuncture. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2626 |
It's called house arrest. He let's go in a month if I don't drink. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2627 |
When Sylvia left him I told him should get a dog |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2628 |
I'd like to kill it, but it's an endangered species. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2629 |
Separation anxiety. Know any good Dino-trainers? |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2630 |
He has an attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
2631 |
Sounds fun guys, but the judge is keeping me on house arrest for another two weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2632 |
My doctor thinks leeches are just a fad. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2633 |
This is my new ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2634 |
Can I keep him? He followed me home and for some reason I dont want to eat him. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2635 |
I do this when I can't get to Barre class. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2636 |
It’s an Ankylosaurus monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2637 |
Pretty, pretty, pretty ugly |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2638 |
You know, there are always some little things to put up with when you move into a new cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2639 |
I'll take care of him, Mom, I promise. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2640 |
Herdy, what the fu— You wouldn’t understand. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2641 |
He's very clingy and affectionate. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2642 |
It's a new weight loss thing. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2643 |
Sometimes it's just the price you pay for being a committed relationship. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2644 |
I'm still under cave-arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2645 |
Honestly, it doesn’t look that bad. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2646 |
He wasn’t drawn on the walls, so I thought I’d bring him back for a closer look. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2647 |
Dinner will be a little late. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2648 |
It's bad enough that his jaws are locked on my ankle, but what if he has tetanus!! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2649 |
Not fetch,....Fletch. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2650 |
Apparently, the Judge said I have to wear this ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2651 |
I just got an idea for a new line of leather hats and the material is free. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2652 |
I've had possessive pets in the past, but this is ridiculous. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2653 |
I’m calling it Footware. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2654 |
It’s he latest thing in house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2655 |
No worry, it's just the way they're taught to floss. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2656 |
Spikey’s training to be a carnivore. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2657 |
The doctor is experimenting with smaller aquatic bloodletting creatures as well, but for now he’s only prescribing what he knows will work. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2658 |
It seems like a technology we might want to copy! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2659 |
They told me that they just use a specially trained officer to monitor my activities. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2660 |
I didn’t say he was a perfect pet. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2661 |
At least this breed is dying out. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2662 |
Only losers try to domesticate wolves. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2663 |
He's a funny little guy. Always pulling my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2664 |
It’s supposed to be great for getting rid of cankles. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2665 |
Shake a leg! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2666 |
ANYONE CAN SEE THAT MY WOLFF IS BIGGER THAN YOUR WOLF. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2667 |
I won't be able to join for dinner, unfortunately. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2668 |
Can't leave the cave because of the ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2669 |
A well behaved pet is a comfort. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2670 |
He gets nervous around people he doesn't know. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2671 |
Welcome, my Legmadillo just loves visitors. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2672 |
Being under "cave arrest" really BITES, dude! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2673 |
I’m a chewy. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2674 |
I'd really love to go but...house arrest, you know? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2675 |
Thank God I didn’t train him to go for the throat. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2676 |
No big deal. I have to wear it on my ankle while I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2677 |
I keep my word balloon empty. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2678 |
Lotus Shmotus |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2679 |
It's called an Arealasourus |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2680 |
Of course it qualifies as an Emotional Support Animal. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
2681 |
Glad you’re here to photograph the next cover of my magazine, “making the most of small dark spaces”. Hope you don’t mind I’m still under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2682 |
It's just a stage. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2683 |
It's taken a while, but I think he's getting attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2684 |
Cave man's best friend! Isn't that what you said, Mom and Dad? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2685 |
Your hike has satisfied the commandment. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2686 |
....and then Fred says to me "I did say Dino doesn't bite. That's not Dino!" |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2687 |
Mom, dad, are flush toilets invented yet? |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2688 |
It's a cave arrest glonktite. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2689 |
...the Demerol will kick in before we board. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2690 |
See. My security system does work. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2691 |
We don't really get out much but have plans tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2692 |
You know, I think he likes me |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2693 |
Yes, just now I'm in a pickle, but very soon it'll be in a stew. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2694 |
Think of him as a humane and lively leg trap. |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2695 |
Um. Fred, that isn't what we meant by get a "live trap." |
1.0000 |
0.05130 |
20 |
20 |
0 |
0 |
2696 |
I called pest control, but they said the asteroid should take care of this problem. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2697 |
He's very clingy, and has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2698 |
Cave living...who knew? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2699 |
I was probably going to die of rabies anyway. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2700 |
It's his way of telling me he's hungry. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2701 |
The pet store just had Hilary or Donald. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2702 |
My doctor thinks it's gout. All I know is my foot's been dragon. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2703 |
Sorry, can't go. As you can see I'm encumbered by the housearrestosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2704 |
It won't let be get a leg up on civilization. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2705 |
I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2706 |
OUCH! My alligator shoes don't hurt THIS much! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2707 |
The vet said he has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2708 |
Those calcium pills are really working - I don't feel a thing! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2709 |
Chew toys haven't been invented yet, so I'm filling in. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2710 |
I let him in out of the cold and then he became attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2711 |
I told him to beg, but he gets the 'b' and the 'l' confused. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2712 |
No, I think it's the platysaurus that has the poisonous saliva. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2713 |
I came up with a new phrase: “Bad Dog!” |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2714 |
The best option is a jaw relaxant. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2715 |
He can wag his tail too! |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2716 |
It's not as painful as when that monkey was on my *back* |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2717 |
Did you bring an air pump? |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2718 |
Does your caveowner's liability policy cover pet bites? |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2719 |
I know, but dogs aren't invented yet. |
1.0000 |
0.04880 |
21 |
21 |
0 |
0 |
2720 |
Actually, here, it's a green-ball-shaped parasitic worm AND my best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2721 |
I was teaching him to stay. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2722 |
This is what my husband gave me when I asked for dinosaur skin boots |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2723 |
Thank goodness he loses his baby teeth in a few days, I can't feel my toes.... |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2724 |
His training is not complete yet. He's supposed to protect the cave from strangers. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2725 |
I'm under house arrest because the judge thinks I'm a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2726 |
Thank God my lawyer's a real T-Rex. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2727 |
Can I keep him?! Can I keep him?! Please, pleaee, please! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2728 |
I know they don't allow pets but he's hard to let go. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2729 |
All he eats is chicken. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2730 |
This isn't so bad. When he sleepwalks, that's the problem. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2731 |
No prison time, but I did get 6 months home confinement and have to wear this ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2732 |
I’m kinda over the locavore thing. Apparently he isn’t. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2733 |
Whatever you do, don't look at him. We're working with Caesar Milan. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2734 |
It's the latest Pandora anklet. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2735 |
He thinks I'm his Momma |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2736 |
It's my new Ankylosaurus bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2737 |
I can build a better mouse trap. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2738 |
Man's first eviction notice. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2739 |
Monitoring bracelet’s beginnings |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2740 |
Fluffy wants to go walkies. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2741 |
Don't keep him as an 'indoor pet'. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2742 |
I'm calling it a purse for now. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2743 |
You know I’d love to go, but tribal council has me under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2744 |
It was house arrest for 30 days or work cleanup in the Mastodon quarry for a week. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2745 |
Some might say he gets very attached. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2746 |
I’ve been placed on house arrest . . . A mammoth mistake . . . |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2747 |
To be honest, I thought cave arrest would be a lot easier. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2748 |
He can’t find his chew toy |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2749 |
Only six months of home confinement, -which is way better than the public stoning I was facing. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2750 |
He's in the teething stage. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2751 |
He isn’t cave broken yet. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2752 |
I've come up with another word for leg: bait. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2753 |
The pet store insisted he was a plant eater. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2754 |
He has separation issues |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2755 |
I thought we had agreed to ban leg hold traps? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2756 |
I named him Al, short for Albatross. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2757 |
I think it's called Foot In Mammoth Disease. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2758 |
There was a recall on the electronic ankle bracelets. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2759 |
I feel her pain. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2760 |
I didn't intend to skip the school today. See, Danny didn't want me to go to school. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2761 |
I've got a meat grinder malfunction. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2762 |
The Flintstones reboot proved more challenging than anyone had anticipated. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2763 |
It's my new ankle monitor. Ships directly from North Korea. Got it in 2 days with my Prime membership. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2764 |
He followed me home. C'n I keep him? Please? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2765 |
His bite IS worse than his hiss. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2766 |
Actually, his bite is much worse. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2767 |
It’s called Exfoliative, want to give it a go? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2768 |
I hear you're the guy to see for gigantic martinis? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2769 |
My leg is absolutely killing me today. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2770 |
It's hard to say who rescued who! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2771 |
They let me out, but I have to wear a tether. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2772 |
Born before the invention of pants, Ogg quickly got tired of people asking about his ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2773 |
I've been taming the beast. I think he's starting to get a grasp of the situation. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2774 |
Well, this won’t feel good in the morning. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2775 |
Not to worry. He’ll be extinct in 10,000 years. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2776 |
And so was born the expression, "It cost me an arm and Cromark's left ankle." |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2777 |
I hope this evolves into humping my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2778 |
Me forgot pet poop bag. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2779 |
Doctor Stone, your always dragging your work home with you. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2780 |
I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2781 |
Probably going to have to return him to the Shelter. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2782 |
I told her I would be right back. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2783 |
I tried to tell my previous roommate that it's a chair, not a toy. He didn't listen. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2784 |
I'm on probation until my monitor gets hungry and then I'll probably get life. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2785 |
Until leashes are invented, this will have to do. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2786 |
Each time Fetch try to leave, Spike bring Fetch back. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2787 |
I asked if he bites; not bites off. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2788 |
We're inseparable, |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2789 |
House arrest bites. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2790 |
I know. It's worse than an unfunny cartoon. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2791 |
He hates to be left home alone |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2792 |
I call it a "pet." But I wish it was friendlier. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2793 |
And I thought I'd have a grip on the situation! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2794 |
Google doesn't tell how to get rid of this kind of boot. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2795 |
Her cave profile just said, 'Are you tired of the old ball and chain?' |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2796 |
He thinks I'm using too much red ochre in "Still Life Wooly With Mammoth" |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2797 |
It's cuffing season. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2798 |
No risk of flight, so just house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2799 |
The latest fashion in ankle monitors makes a striking statement. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2800 |
It's only until the court sentences me. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2801 |
Hey, have you met the starving artist and his friend net neutrality? |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2802 |
Child? No, I said ankle biter. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2803 |
Yeah, the home security system seems to be working out pretty well. Some false alarms. |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2804 |
I forgot the access code, again! |
1.0000 |
0.04652 |
22 |
22 |
0 |
0 |
2805 |
I've grown attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
2806 |
I'm on house arrest—if I leave, my foot doesn't. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
2807 |
I have to wear it because nobody's invented the ankle monitor yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
2808 |
He lets go when I'm no longer under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
2809 |
They make great pets but this one is too attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
2810 |
If I tamper with this ankle monitor, it cuts ME off. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
2811 |
That's why he's called an Ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
2812 |
Don't worry, I just called Dinosaur Control. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
2813 |
Not only did he cost me an armadillo and a leg, he also has a fowl mouth. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
2814 |
I didn’t get time, just cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
2815 |
Hey may be a bit rough now, but the next evolution will be domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
2816 |
I'm going to wait till it becomes extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
2817 |
This may not be the best species for domestication. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
2818 |
We're working through his separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2819 |
Sorry, I can't go. I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2820 |
I know you don’t understand, but I feel so trapped. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2821 |
Every shirt comes with one of these. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2822 |
I wanted a pair of crocs, but I could only find the one. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2823 |
They say they will be more manageable once they evolve into dogs. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2824 |
My therapist calls it an attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2825 |
He's my court-ordered ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
2826 |
As a matter of fact, yes, I am in favor of parole overhaul. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
2827 |
It was love at first bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
2828 |
Sorry, my ankle monitor will bite if I leave the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
2829 |
He's a rescue, his last three owners just disappeared. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2830 |
He’s my emotional support animal |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2831 |
It was this or 200 hours of community service. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2832 |
That's why the rent is so low. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2833 |
Baby dinosaurs are so needy. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2834 |
Oy - you think you’ve got saurus? |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2835 |
No clubs for me tonight, I'm still on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2836 |
Hey, if you like this lizard skin shoe, wait 'til you see the one I get for the other foot! |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2837 |
It's an ankle brachiosaurus. I'll have to wear it until my hearing. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
2838 |
We've become quite attached. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2839 |
He's my support stegosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2840 |
I was scared at first, but turns out he was pulling my leg |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2841 |
Know a guy called Leash? He says he has an invention I might like. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
2842 |
I was deemed a low flight risk so they just put me on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
2843 |
They gave me house arrest, it could have been worse. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
2844 |
I got cave arrest with an ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
2845 |
She's a rescue. I told you not to make direct eye contact. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
2846 |
I’m a very stable genius. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
2847 |
I have to wear this ankle monitor until I’m off parole. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2848 |
It's a nice place but the security system could use some tweaking. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2849 |
I have to pay a few outstanding parking tickets. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2850 |
This is the last time we take in a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2851 |
It only hurts if I walk. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2852 |
It's only teething. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2853 |
Sorry I can't go out hunting and gathering. I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2854 |
Poor little guy is still teething |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2855 |
Don't paint this on the walls. Please. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2856 |
It might have been a mistake to use a bone when I tought him to play fetch. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2857 |
What do you mean you lost the access code? |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2858 |
I'm not allowed to leave the cave until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2859 |
The worst part of cave arrest is that the ankle bracelet tends to drool. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2860 |
I always wanted a pair of crocodile shoes. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2861 |
Can I keep him Ma? |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2862 |
The anxiety medication is working....you should have seen him a few weeks ago. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2863 |
He is just suppose to move around the cave and clean the floor. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
2864 |
You put your right foot in Then take your right foot out Put your right foot in Then you shake it all about You do the hokey pokey And you turn yourself around That's what it's all about |
1.0000 |
0.01156 |
87 |
87 |
0 |
0 |
2865 |
It was cute when he was little. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
2866 |
He's got separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
2867 |
He has a serious attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
2868 |
Cave arrest. That's what they called it. |
1.0000 |
0.01439 |
70 |
70 |
0 |
0 |
2869 |
Parking Enforcement said I can get him remove if I pay all of my outstanding fines. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
2870 |
My probation officer says it’s only for 30 days. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
2871 |
If I had two eyes I would have seen this coming. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
2872 |
We take "heel" very seriously. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2873 |
We should have domesticated dogs. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2874 |
It's a Legosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2875 |
Now that you ask, I could use a sharp pointy stick and a good recipe. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2876 |
Just for a year, it was part of the plea deal. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2877 |
I wanted to adopt a pit bull; Mary insisted on an ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2878 |
I'm the submissive. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2879 |
He's never done that before. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2880 |
I think I’ll call him spot. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
2881 |
Oh that? I am under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2882 |
Oh...just trying to drain the swamp. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2883 |
I don't think this is my cave. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2884 |
Thank god it’s a vegetarian! |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2885 |
Does this count as unwanted attention? |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2886 |
In a million years, he'll be man's best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2887 |
You get used to it. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2888 |
He keeps me grounded. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2889 |
I stole a wheel. They claim I'm a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
2890 |
My doctor wrote a note so she's a therapy animal. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2891 |
Don't worry, he's friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2892 |
The breeder swore he was vegan. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2893 |
He's attached. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
2894 |
Luckily he likes to follow me everywhere. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2895 |
He has abandonment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2896 |
Don't worry, it's just a love bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01418 |
71 |
71 |
0 |
0 |
2897 |
The trick is to just ignore him |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
2898 |
They don't shed and they are not aggressive, maybe slightly territorial but not aggressive. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
2899 |
Does this make me look guilty? |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
2900 |
I’m on cave arrest until the first of the month. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
2901 |
Now I know how Paul Manafort feels. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2902 |
The Vet says it’s her way of coping with extinction. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2903 |
If you’re the prying neighbors, please start prying. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2904 |
We should really invent the dog. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2905 |
The home detention isn't bad, but the ankle monitor is killing me. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2906 |
I found your dog, if my lawyer was not in prison you would be hearing from him. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2907 |
It appears that I maybe on my last leg. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2908 |
I’m going to need a Cro-Magnon bar to get this guy off of me. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2909 |
I should have read the add more closely. All I saw was "cheap reptile footwear". |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2910 |
Its a monitor lizard. I have to wear it for a year. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2911 |
It’s my own fault. They said at the shelter that he was an ankle biter. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2912 |
Please remind the homeowners association that federal laws allow persons with certain special needs to keep a comfort animal in a condominium despite a "no pets" provision. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2913 |
He just wants to play. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2914 |
He just can't get enough of me. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2915 |
She's nice, but a little clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2916 |
I said we should get a hamster, but you two just had to have a stegosaurus... |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2917 |
The ankle bracelet is annoying, but it's better than jail. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2918 |
I'm afraid I can't join you. I'm presently under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2919 |
I have to wear it the whole time I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2920 |
Sorry, can't go. I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2921 |
House arrest is tolerable but the ankle bracelet is a little tight. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
2922 |
I think it is just a reaction to the new vegan diet we are trying. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2923 |
It feels like he has been hanging around since the dawn of time. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2924 |
I like to tell people that he rescued me. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2925 |
My wife says I should get a second opinion. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2926 |
Sorry, I can't go anywhere without my Ankle Monitor Lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2927 |
It's part of my court-ordered cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2928 |
Can you believe it. I’m still under house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2929 |
When you invited us over to see your new ankle-biter, we assumed you had a new baby. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2930 |
I'm under house-arex. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2931 |
Her transition to the diet stuff isn’t going well. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2932 |
Sorry I can't go with you but I'm being pulled in another direction. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
2933 |
I already told him this is an anachronism. He won’t listen. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
2934 |
I am not looking him, I am not acknowledging him. I am the alpha. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2935 |
It's just until my trial date next week. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2936 |
We have been to 6 veterinarians and the only thing they can all agree on is that, whatever it is, it appears to be teething. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2937 |
I can't go clubbing tonight - I'm on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2938 |
It's crunch time. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2939 |
And so the prosthetic leg can handle 3,700 pounds per square inch of force. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2940 |
I told her Attachment Parenting was not for pets, but did she listen? |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2941 |
It comes with a state-of-the-art security system. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2942 |
I told you the ankylosaurus wasn't extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2943 |
I put him on a Paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
2944 |
We hope to have him trained before he's extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
2945 |
House arrest isn't so bad, but the ankle monitor drools. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2946 |
I don't mind the 6 month cave arrest sentence but this ankle bracelet is killing me! |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
2947 |
He's just teething. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
2948 |
The judge granted me home detention. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
2949 |
Yep. He ain't a herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
2950 |
... And then the judge sentenced me to house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
2951 |
...we're working on separation issues. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
2952 |
At least he's not humping your leg. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
2953 |
The guy that sold him to me insisted that he was a herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
2954 |
I was paroled on the condition I wear this ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
2955 |
I love my new place, but the security system is so Cretaceous. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
2956 |
I'm thinking in a few millennia this will be funny. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
2957 |
It's a new invention. House arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2958 |
As first time buyers, the security system is included with your purchase. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2959 |
It's separation anxiety, but throw a stick and he gets right over it. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2960 |
We renamed him Oxymoron when we moved into a pet-friendly building. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2961 |
I'm very attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2962 |
Yes, there is a low incidence of dinosaur attacks in this neighborhood but the walls are real granite. That's unheard of in your price range. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
2963 |
I didn't choose him. He chose me! |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
2964 |
We were gonna name it "Spike",but we settled on "Fang" |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
2965 |
Can't go today, but I might get free by Monday. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
2966 |
We're heading to obedience school! |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
2967 |
We're working on his attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2968 |
She doesn't like it when I criticize Hillary. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
2969 |
It was love at first bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
2970 |
Is it okay if we order in tonight? |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
2971 |
This tends to happen with the Terrierosaurs, but they can also be very cuddly and loyal. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
2972 |
He just wants me to take him for a walk. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
2973 |
And to top it all off, his species has been extinct for 50 million years. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
2974 |
When my parole officer said it should come off in a day or two, I hope he wasn't referring to my foot. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
2975 |
Don't worry, he's friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
2976 |
I don't get out much these days |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
2977 |
His bite's worse. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
2978 |
I think I invented the Croc! |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
2979 |
It’s called home incarceration. If I try to leave the cave, the authorities are alerted by seeing what’s left of me. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
2980 |
So that’s a meat eater. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
2981 |
Cave arrest is a bitch |
1.0000 |
0.01117 |
90 |
90 |
0 |
0 |
2982 |
Someday we'll all look back at this and laugh. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
2983 |
Lately, everyone wants a piece of me..... |
1.0000 |
0.01117 |
90 |
90 |
0 |
0 |
2984 |
Apparently it's called separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01117 |
90 |
90 |
0 |
0 |
2985 |
I'll either train him or let him go extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.01117 |
90 |
90 |
0 |
0 |
2986 |
We've been working on 'fetch'! |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
2987 |
I'm under house-confinement till my court date. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2988 |
The arc of domestication is long, but it bends toward frisbees. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2989 |
It's only until my parole hearing. And it beats going to prison. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2990 |
On the plus side, he leaves the furniture alone. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2991 |
The weird part is that it’s actually a bird. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2992 |
So then my probation officer says, "Ankle, ankylosaurus, what's the big deal? A bracelet's a bracelet." |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2993 |
I hate it when he gets affectionate and hungry at the same time. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2994 |
Robert wanted a sabre tooth, but I said I needed a pet that wouldn't climb on the furniture. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2995 |
Herb's last words were: 'I thought he was an herbivore!' |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2996 |
Don't worry - he's just pulling my leg! |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
2997 |
I was hoping for a pet who's a little less needy. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
2998 |
'I'll tell yah what's been eating me..." |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
2999 |
I don't agree that his bark is worst than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3000 |
Home-schooling isn't working out as I hoped. |
1.0000 |
0.01117 |
90 |
90 |
0 |
0 |
3001 |
Just a bad case of separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
3002 |
This won't be so cute when it grows up. |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3003 |
Eventually, he’ll evolve and become an albatross around my neck. |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3004 |
Well, you guys wouldn't let me get a tattoo. |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3005 |
Would you mind taking him off my legs for a few hours? |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3006 |
I think I’ll call it ankle-o-sore-us. |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3007 |
Well obedience school was a bust. |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3008 |
I have to wear this Remnick ankle monitor because I broke the Cartoon Caption Rules. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
3009 |
Apparently somebody used his brother make my shoes. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
3010 |
its the latest thing in home security , it just needs some fine tuning |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
3011 |
Coming in for a bite? |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3012 |
It's OK. I'm in the catch and release program. |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3013 |
It costs an arm and a leg to get out. |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3014 |
It's part of the bail agreement. |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3015 |
I hate being under house arrest and wearing a monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3016 |
I got the cast off this week, but the doc gave me one more week of experimental animal therapy. He's supposed to help keep the bones in place and provide companionship! |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3017 |
I believe it's an anklemonitorsaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3018 |
It'll take a million years to train him. |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3019 |
They put me under house arrest until June, 86 BC. |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
3020 |
For some reason, my belief in that whole herbivore theory is painfully diminishing... |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3021 |
I thought the ankylosaurus had gone extinct |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3022 |
I've always wanted a pet, and I think he's attached to me too. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3023 |
It's okay, his bark is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
3024 |
He's a Legasoreus |
1.0000 |
0.01070 |
94 |
94 |
0 |
0 |
3025 |
Home confinement was part of the plea deal. |
1.0000 |
0.01070 |
94 |
94 |
0 |
0 |
3026 |
Separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00995 |
101 |
101 |
0 |
0 |
3027 |
I have this gnawing feeling that it wants more from me than I want to give. |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
3028 |
My sentence? An ankle bracelet for 30 days. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
3029 |
We're very devoted to each other but here must be an easier way to take him for a walk. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
3030 |
Well, at least he doesn't shed. |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
3031 |
It's okay. He's been vaccinated. |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
3032 |
My question is, will this be considered a pre-existing condition? |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
3033 |
This is just one condition of my house arrest. You don't want to know the others. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
3034 |
I fed it once and now it won't let me out of its sight. |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
3035 |
It may not look like it, but it's his way of showing affection. |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3036 |
Doc says I can take the Splintosaurus off in a few weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
3037 |
The anachronism hurts me more than the bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
3038 |
It comes with the polo shirt |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
3039 |
I forgot to feed her. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
3040 |
He's just being playful but it's making my ankylosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
3041 |
I found an attachment-disorder therapist with a great Groupon deal. |
1.0000 |
0.01070 |
94 |
94 |
0 |
0 |
3042 |
I've got another two weeks under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01070 |
94 |
94 |
0 |
0 |
3043 |
I can't wait until he's extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.01070 |
94 |
94 |
0 |
0 |
3044 |
Well, he doesn’t shed. |
1.0000 |
0.01070 |
94 |
94 |
0 |
0 |
3045 |
Attempts at domestication have proven disappointing. |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
3046 |
My wife's idea to reduce my roaming charges. |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
3047 |
On the plus side, at least he's cavebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
3048 |
At least he’s housebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
3049 |
Because I kept cutting off my ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3050 |
It's called cave arrest -- five years to life, his or mine. |
1.0000 |
0.01015 |
99 |
99 |
0 |
0 |
3051 |
Sorry, can’t go. I’m under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01081 |
93 |
93 |
0 |
0 |
3052 |
The judge says I have to wear it for six months. |
1.0000 |
0.01081 |
93 |
93 |
0 |
0 |
3053 |
He says I taste like chicken. |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
3054 |
Oh, I think he smells my dinosaur at home! |
1.0000 |
0.01081 |
93 |
93 |
0 |
0 |
3055 |
We're just going through a phase. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3056 |
I know, I know. But domestication doesn't happen overnight. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3057 |
It's an ankle monitor lizard. Goes with the cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3058 |
So I say, “Do you think they ‘saur’ us?” and, well, you can see what happened next. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3059 |
His separation anxiety is beginning to gnaw at me. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3060 |
The caveowners' association only bans pit bulls. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3061 |
I'd rather have a monkey on my back, but they don't exist yet. |
1.0000 |
0.01070 |
94 |
94 |
0 |
0 |
3062 |
The ankle monitor lizard is a condition of my cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01070 |
94 |
94 |
0 |
0 |
3063 |
My inspiration for the first mother-in-law joke. |
1.0000 |
0.01156 |
87 |
87 |
0 |
0 |
3064 |
He's still learning how to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3065 |
It comes off after thirty days of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
3066 |
Well, it looked like a puppy when I bought it. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
3067 |
I call it the shoe. Still needs some work. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3068 |
Training hasn't been easy but attachment has been a snap |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3069 |
Maybe we shouldn't get a watch-pet until after the leash is invented. |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
3070 |
He obviously likes you. you should keep him. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
3071 |
It's new. Apparently I'm under cave arrest for drawing on the walls. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3072 |
"I've been placed under 'Cave Arrest'". |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3073 |
No, you don't get used to it. You never get used to it. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3074 |
Gnaw, it doesn't hurt. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3075 |
Yes, he's an anachronism. But I'm attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3076 |
Don't be afraid. He's just teething. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3077 |
I bought it yesterday and it is already getting attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
3078 |
Remember, 'there are no bad dinosaurs'. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3079 |
Apparently not quite extinct |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
3080 |
They told me they could remove it, but my premiums would triple. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
3081 |
I got another DUI and I’m under House arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
3082 |
How could any of us have seen this coming, given the one set of eyes between us |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
3083 |
I know home confinement sounds preferable to prison, but this ankle monitor is a real pain. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
3084 |
It’ll be great when we get over the teething phase. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3085 |
Mom and Dad, he followed me home. Can I keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3086 |
Hey, Bill, can I borrow your club again? |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3087 |
I guess I shouldn't have called him extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3088 |
Do you mind if Cleo comes along? |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
3089 |
Spike's evolved into a real problem |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
3090 |
He caught me painting on the walls. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
3091 |
We should get a new best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.01081 |
93 |
93 |
0 |
0 |
3092 |
They are making me wear him until the trial to make sure I don't skip bail. |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3093 |
We can't do anything about it because it is a future endangered species. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3094 |
I should have known better. Achaenodons can be so possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
3095 |
Before you ask, it's cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3096 |
Me? Worried? Oh no. He'll be extinct before long. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
3097 |
It's just until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3098 |
I'm hoping if I ignore it, it will go away on its own. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3099 |
His bark is worse? |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3100 |
La Brea Tar Pit Rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3101 |
But this behavior should stop as it evolves into a cat. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3102 |
It's an Ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3103 |
It's my ankle monitor so I don't skip town. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3104 |
The cave comes with a home alarm system. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3105 |
And I said to him, 'Bite me.' |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3106 |
The pet shop owner insisted it wouldn't cost and arm AND a leg to feed him. |
1.0000 |
0.01212 |
83 |
83 |
0 |
0 |
3107 |
He's a great pet but we have a ways to go with the training |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
3108 |
I should have opted for the jail time. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
3109 |
Relax, it's only a gumosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
3110 |
It's time for me to move out; I'm feeling trapped. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3111 |
Mr. and Mrs. Rock I will need to keep him another week, we are on the verge of a major breakthrough. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3112 |
Being under house arrest isn't so bad, but man! the ankle bracelet is killing me! |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3113 |
They say their mouths are cleaner than ours, so I’ll probably be fine. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3114 |
House arrest is a lot less lonely with my new monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3115 |
mom. dad, it's not what it looks like- it's consensual and we have a safe word. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3116 |
I said I'd give my right arm |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
3117 |
I’m under house arrest for 12 months. |
1.0000 |
0.01156 |
87 |
87 |
0 |
0 |
3118 |
I'm teaching it how to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
3119 |
The breeder said he was an herbivore, but I am beginning to have my doubts. |
1.0000 |
0.01156 |
87 |
87 |
0 |
0 |
3120 |
We start obedience school tomorrow. |
1.0000 |
0.01156 |
87 |
87 |
0 |
0 |
3121 |
Oh, I get the monitor off as soon as they resolve a little tax issue. |
1.0000 |
0.01156 |
87 |
87 |
0 |
0 |
3122 |
He can beg and roll over. We're still working on fetch. |
1.0000 |
0.01156 |
87 |
87 |
0 |
0 |
3123 |
Everything was going fine until I forgot the safe word . |
1.0000 |
0.01156 |
87 |
87 |
0 |
0 |
3124 |
I'm on parole. |
1.0000 |
0.01081 |
93 |
93 |
0 |
0 |
3125 |
He hasn’t learned to heel yet but he’s getting close. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3126 |
They say I'm a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3127 |
He doesn't like it when I use the word 'extinct'. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
3128 |
Mom, Dad…don’t be so closed-minded. Dating bi-pedals is so the paleolithic era. |
1.0000 |
0.01156 |
87 |
87 |
0 |
0 |
3129 |
I think Timmy fell in the tar pit again. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
3130 |
I’m under cave arrest until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
3131 |
I didn't realize how attached he would become to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3132 |
But your sign says you welcome all emotional support animals! |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3133 |
The judge ordered cave arrest with an ankle monitor in lieu of bail. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3134 |
He lost his rawhide. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3135 |
Her vet says it's separation anxiety, but my psychiatrist says it's a corporeal manifestation of my own self loathing. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3136 |
It's hard some days, but co-evolution takes work. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3137 |
First the roach problem, now this. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3138 |
It's not like YOUR marriage is perfect. |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
3139 |
He followed me home! Can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
3140 |
They call it a pet. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3141 |
They ran out of electronic ankle bracelets at the courthouse. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3142 |
Sorry I can't I'am under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3143 |
I got him at the shelter. They said we were certain to bond. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3144 |
Believe me, he's great with children. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3145 |
Please don't say "I told you so." |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3146 |
I got a deal. The other breed cost an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3147 |
In a minute, I am not going to have a leg to stand on. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3148 |
Make him smile and I'll run for it |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3149 |
You know, maybe wolves ARE a better choice! |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3150 |
The previous tenant is having a hard time letting go. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3151 |
Don't worry, his foot in mouth disease is not contagious. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
3152 |
He's cave-trained, but we're still working on fetch. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3153 |
Damn,I thought we could domesticate these |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
3154 |
Sorry to report that your pet has failed his obedience training course. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3155 |
We need to start enforcing the leash laws. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3156 |
When my house arrest ends, they'll take off the ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3157 |
No, Fang isn’t teething. He's struggling with abandonment and social adaptation issues. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3158 |
I made bail but I'm on 24/7 cave arrest with this ankle monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3159 |
I’ll be rid of him in three months when I start probation. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3160 |
Mom, Dad, I am coming out of the cave. We're in love and besides, she will eat me alive if we cannot be together. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3161 |
I'm finding having a pet keeps me grounded. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3162 |
You guys go on without me. I have thirty more days on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3163 |
They told me I'm under cave arrest and put me in this ankle monitor... |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3164 |
Look, I know this is the third time I tripped the home alarm system, but you don't have to charge me every time you come here to re-set it. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3165 |
Have we invented any tools that would pry this thing opened! |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3166 |
I have to wear this monitoring device until my trial. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3167 |
I can't, I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3168 |
Rescues sometimes have attachment issues but we've made a lot of progress. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3169 |
He's my court-ordered ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3170 |
He said he learned it from a cave painting. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3171 |
It looks bad now but wait till you see him as shoes. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3172 |
It helps with my Restless Leg Syndrome. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3173 |
Unfortunately, he has a bit of a foot fetish going on, but he can be quite charming when he is on his meds. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3174 |
I drained his swamp. |
1.0000 |
0.01439 |
70 |
70 |
0 |
0 |
3175 |
Next time, I'm getting a goldfish. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3176 |
Everybody will have one: It's called a 'Pet' |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3177 |
The judge ordered cave arrest. Just 90 days and this thing lets go. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3178 |
Yes, a very unconventional technique. No, I wouldn't do it again. Yes, it really hurts. Yes, he'll be delicious. No, I don't know what to do next. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3179 |
We´ve become really attached. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3180 |
Sorry guys I can't go. The judge ordered me on house-arrest and gave me this Ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3181 |
Scout’s honor,,,if you didn’t mention it,,,we wouldn’t even have noticed. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3182 |
It's amazing how attached to me he's become |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3183 |
I only have to wear it until my probation is over. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3184 |
I guess our home security system is on the fritz again. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3185 |
Sorry, but ‘don’t bite the leg that feeds you’ doesn’t quite sound right. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3186 |
He's a rescue. Goes nuts when I try to leave. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3187 |
I’d love to, but I’m under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3188 |
Yep, home arrest monitor. You can guess what happens if I step out of range. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3189 |
Sometime during training, Alfonse became very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
3190 |
I call it the Croc. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
3191 |
Sorry guys, I can't go. I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
3192 |
I was trying to teach him to fetch. |
1.0000 |
0.01439 |
70 |
70 |
0 |
0 |
3193 |
The vet said he should eat paleo, so we're giving it a whirl. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3194 |
Sorry I can't join you. I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3195 |
It's nothing. He'll be extinct in no time. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3196 |
Well, technically, he did follow me home. Can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
3197 |
Dinner might be a little late. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3198 |
He doesn't bite. But he does chew. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3199 |
No jail time. Just six months of cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3200 |
I'm pretty much a stay-at-home mom. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3201 |
I cannot go out without an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
3202 |
Toothpick, anyone? |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3203 |
I liked him better when he was just humping my leg |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3204 |
I decided to go with the plea-deal...and cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3205 |
They used to boulder your hole before trial, but now they just slap on an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3206 |
It's even worse than when the monkey was on my back. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3207 |
So ... it turns out I'm adopted. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3208 |
The vet told me he has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3209 |
He has become quite attached to me of late |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3210 |
The price is right, but the place does have a few drawbacks. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3211 |
He had me by the arm so I yelled "Down boy." |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3212 |
I've gone over the benefits of the adopting a vegan lifstyle ... but he's not buying it. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
3213 |
I should have gotten a cat |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3214 |
He doesn't know how to let go. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3215 |
The pet shop said he's a Fibulasaurus, whatever that means. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3216 |
These smaller breeds can be nippy. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
3217 |
Oh, I just keep her for sentimental reasons. She was the last press secretary during the 'Trump Era'. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
3218 |
Is there is no word yet for what exactly it is that I'm supposed to be beware of? |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
3219 |
The shelter said he'd be less clingy once he'd settled in. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
3220 |
Know anyone who can disable an ankle monitor? |
1.0000 |
0.01418 |
71 |
71 |
0 |
0 |
3221 |
We're still working on the 'heel' part. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3222 |
It could have been a lot worse. The other guy is stuck in jail. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3223 |
If they weren't so gosh darn cute, right? |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3224 |
Yeah one more month house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3225 |
But she is cave trained. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3226 |
The breeders told me he's part ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
3227 |
He's only in his second week of cave animal behavior training. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3228 |
He comes with the unit and he seems to like you. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3229 |
When he hatched, he imprinted on me and now has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3230 |
He keeps me grounded. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3231 |
I didn't realize some of the potential pitfall of a strict paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3232 |
That judge was a real Neanderthal! He made me wear this leg lock, but it's not going to stop me from clubbing! |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3233 |
I've trained him to act like my wife. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3234 |
No, no, I’ll be there. The judge said I could go for New Year’s Eve. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3235 |
How long do you have to wear the ankle bracelet? |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3236 |
It’s just a pup - not yet cave broken. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3237 |
It's called separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3238 |
It’s your turn to walk him. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3239 |
They told me that I would hardly notice the leg bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3240 |
We're off to obedience school in the morning. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3241 |
On the other hand, he is house-trained. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3242 |
I didn't like him at first. But I'm become attached... |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3243 |
I'm telling you, I've lost 25 pounds already. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3244 |
House arrest is killing me. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3245 |
He’s teething. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3246 |
A condition of my house arrest is that I wear an an ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3247 |
The judge said I have to wear this for 30 days. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3248 |
The judge says I have to wear it until the end of my cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3249 |
He'll let go when I'm off parole. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3250 |
It's how he shows affection. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3251 |
I clearly said "Green Iguana," but they sent this Ankle Monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3252 |
See you later, alligator. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3253 |
Sorry--he's not cave broken yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
3254 |
You actually get used to the ankle monitor pretty quickly |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
3255 |
His dentist advised more calcium. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
3256 |
Clamped again. There's nothing carved in here to say this is a no standing zone. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
3257 |
I'm very attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3258 |
At first I was happy then judge gave me house arrest, but now I'm not so sure. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3259 |
Trust me. His bite is worse than his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3260 |
My attorney says I have to wear it as a condition of cave confinement. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3261 |
The Judge says if I leave the cave I lose a foot. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3262 |
You can take the carnivore out of the cave, but you can’t take the caveman out of the carnivore |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3263 |
At first I wasn't sure I wanted a tic as a pet, but he's really grown on me. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3264 |
He's a bit clinging, but he's loyal and I love him. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3265 |
Let somebody else prove your theory of symbiosis. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3266 |
The court ordered I wear it until my upcoming trial. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3267 |
Okay, now it's your turn to be bait. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3268 |
He's quite attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3269 |
The situation is evolving. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
3270 |
I guess he saw me coming |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
3271 |
She's not cave-broken yet. |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
3272 |
Oh please Mom, may I keep him. I promise to walk him and feed him. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
3273 |
Don't mind him, he's a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3274 |
A little standoffish at first. But eventually he'll get attached to you two. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3275 |
I thought you knew I’m under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3276 |
He's a pussycat when you get to know him. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3277 |
Well, I love the space. But let's just say I'm not crazy about the neighborhood. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3278 |
Yes it's annoying, but it beats serving time in Jail |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3279 |
MINE TURNED IN HIS HOMEWORK LATE AND GOT DETENTION. HOW ARE YOUR ANKLEBITERS DOING? |
1.0000 |
0.03774 |
27 |
27 |
0 |
0 |
3280 |
As you can see, your new security system I just installed is completely wireless ! |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
3281 |
The home security system still has a few kinks to work out. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
3282 |
I can't believe I'd once complained about having a monkey on my back. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3283 |
Pay no attention to my ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3284 |
He wants me to draw a picture of him on the wall right now. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3285 |
I’ve been training him to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3286 |
Sorry, but I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
3287 |
Thankfully. these new ankle monitors aren't the bulky monstrosities they used to be. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3288 |
It's the first generation ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3289 |
Boy, is my AnkleSAUR. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3290 |
Not ready for market yet, but we're thinking of calling it 'anklet'. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3291 |
His bite is far worse than his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3292 |
I can't come out, I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3293 |
I've got a few unpaid parking tickets |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3294 |
Must have lost the left one in the dryer. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3295 |
It's a controversial breed. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3296 |
DIY alligator shoes, duh! |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
3297 |
My bad. I thought it was a herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3298 |
We could be attached at the hip. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3299 |
We think he's part ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3300 |
I can't leave the cave or this will start vibrating |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3301 |
Ever since his mom's extinction, he has become quite clingy |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3302 |
Sorry guys, I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3303 |
Could be worse. This time I'm only under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3304 |
For every two steps forward it's one step back because of these dinosaurs. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3305 |
It us the latest technology for in-cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3306 |
When my wife said watch out for the ankle biters when I got home I thought she was talking about the kids... |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3307 |
Sad, low-level staffer who worked for me for a short time and just can't let go. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3308 |
I'll be so glad to get this off when my parole ends. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3309 |
What Stegosaurus? |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3310 |
I'm going to wait until he becomes extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3311 |
If you stop staring, he will come to you. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3312 |
Let it suffice to say that I'm in excruciating pain - which accounts for the screaming you were able to hear from across the plateau. Now, if one of you would kindly retrieve my club, it would go a long way toward solving both our problems. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3313 |
You should get him used to a muzzle before he reaches 40 feet. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3314 |
Court-ordered till my trial for stealing the wheel. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3315 |
My lawyers were able to get me house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3316 |
He’s not cavebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3317 |
I have to wear this while I'm out on bail. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3318 |
Yes. I've already tried "See you later" and "After a while." He's not taking the hint. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3319 |
yea, its always a arm and a leg to feed him |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3320 |
My probation officer says with good behavior I'll only have 30 more days wearing the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3321 |
I can see you're really attached to him! |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3322 |
We got off on the wrong foot. |
1.0000 |
0.01418 |
71 |
71 |
0 |
0 |
3323 |
Why don't you girls just go ahead without me |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
3324 |
So far, he's been costing me an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3325 |
I left the card in my cave. But, trust me, he is authorized to provide emotional support. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3326 |
My health plan doesn't cover this. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3327 |
'Ankle monitors are not as discreet as people think.' |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3328 |
Thank God your home, Rex is locked and I forgot the password. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3329 |
It hurts a little more on the inside. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3330 |
It started as a friendly game of Rock,Paper, Scissors! |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3331 |
Hang in there. It will be extinct soon. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3332 |
. . . And he's already learned to fetch! |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3333 |
As you can see, we still have some extinction issues. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
3334 |
We've become quite attached. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
3335 |
If you have to ask, it's an ankle monitor until my trial date. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
3336 |
Can we keep him, please? He won't eat much. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3337 |
The judge let me off with six months of cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
3338 |
I got off pretty easy with just cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
3339 |
Read the fine print. These time shares always have a catch. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
3340 |
It's domestication--the next giant step for Man. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3341 |
It's a type of lizard. The judge called it an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3342 |
I think he's up to date on all his shots |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
3343 |
He’s a real drag. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
3344 |
So, what did you get from the divorce? |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3345 |
He caught on right away. Next, I'm training him to fetch. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3346 |
I'm teaching Fido how to floss. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3347 |
He’s having separation anxiety, so we’re having salad tonight, |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
3348 |
I have him right where I want him. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
3349 |
This is what the doctor prescribed for my restless legs. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
3350 |
They're right. These cutting-edge ankle monitors sure take a bite out of crime. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
3351 |
Uncomfortable? Yes, but this will evolve into alligator shoes. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
3352 |
I didn't pay my jaywalking tickets so they booted me. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
3353 |
It was a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3354 |
I thought house arrest would be the worst part. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3355 |
This home security system is not working for me. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3356 |
The good news is he doesn't bite other people. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
3357 |
It looked smaller in the store |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3358 |
No, no, it's fine; he just has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3359 |
I think she misunderstood when I said, "How cute would it be if we had our own ankle-biter?" |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
3360 |
I’ve grown accustomed to her jaws. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3361 |
He doesn't like leashes so we compromised. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3362 |
She does this when she wants a bone. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3363 |
I'd love to hunt and gather, but I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
3364 |
It's a proof of concept |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3365 |
The judge required a house arrest ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3366 |
"Go on ahead - I'll join you after I exfoliate a bit more...... |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
3367 |
That’s right. The ankle monitor limits me to a twelve foot perimeter around the cave. It just knows. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
3368 |
They're out of ankle bracelets. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
3369 |
I ran out of treats. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
3370 |
...and then I yelled "DAAUGH!" and the name just kind of stuck. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3371 |
Yeah, that totally bites. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3372 |
I shouted "Lacoste!" when I saw him, but he must have heard "Accost!" |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3373 |
Judge says I have to keep this on till the next hearing |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3374 |
Judge says I have to keep this on till next the hearing |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3375 |
Apparently my wheel has already been towed,so they placed a boot on me instead. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3376 |
If it doesn't go extinct in a few days I'll have it checked. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3377 |
So yeah, I’m under house arrest for the foreseeable future. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3378 |
We've been working on the "Fetch" command. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3379 |
He tends to be a little clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3380 |
It's comes with being under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3381 |
Normally very friendly, but suffers from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3382 |
It’s his name on the lease. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
3383 |
My probation officer calls it an 'ankle monitor.' |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
3384 |
But I can’t give her up! I already bought a bumper sticker that says 'Who rescued who?' |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
3385 |
Your home security system is a bit primitive, no? |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
3386 |
He was a rescue, so he's clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3387 |
It's an Ankle-sore-us. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3388 |
It's an ankle monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3389 |
Well, as far as I'm concerned, they can't go extinct soon enough! |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3390 |
It's Called A Shoe. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3391 |
It's a condition of my probation. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3392 |
I know it's our night out, but can we reschedule? She's feeling really clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
3393 |
Don't worry, he is a softy. Ignore him for 5 minutes and he will crawl in your lap. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
3394 |
Truth be told, I’m having a little separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
3395 |
Yes, he is quite attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
3396 |
He followed me home, can I keep him???? |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
3397 |
Excuse me. It's time to feed my mother-in-law. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
3398 |
My lawyer did great, only 18 months with this monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
3399 |
I named him myankylsaurous. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
3400 |
I don't mind the house arrest, but the ankle monitor is a real drag. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3401 |
My lawyer said I should be thankful to be placed on cave-arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
3402 |
He's a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3403 |
I taught him not to bite the hand that feeds him. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3404 |
No, no. I'm his pet. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3405 |
It's my own fault for having him declawed. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3406 |
He hasn’t learned to heel yet but he’s getting close. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3407 |
Do you think next time we can just get grandma to babysit? |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3408 |
do you think our fossils will be found together? |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3409 |
I can't wait for dogs to be invented. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3410 |
We have attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3411 |
My vet suggested prozac. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
3412 |
No I'm not worried. The man at the pet store said he's a herbivore! |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
3413 |
It's important to teach them soft mouth while they're teething. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
3414 |
Technically, it's an "ankle monitor." |
1.0000 |
0.01439 |
70 |
70 |
0 |
0 |
3415 |
Sometimes I think the bonding went too far. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3416 |
Polacanthus gonna Polacanthus. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3417 |
He has foot in mouth syndrome. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3418 |
I liked the other cave better. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3419 |
Sure it hurts now, but 200,000 years from now people will get a chuckle from this. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3420 |
I parked illegally. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3421 |
If anyone asks, this never happened. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3422 |
He’s sweet but a little too attached. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3423 |
It's an ankle monitor - I'm under cave arrest for 60 days. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3424 |
Sorry I can't go out. I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3425 |
The salesman said he will evolve into my best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3426 |
They gave me a choice of jail or home detention with an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3427 |
Don't worry, it will fall off once they go extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3428 |
He's cave trained, loves to play, and he heels. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3429 |
I can't take it off, it's a condition of my release. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3430 |
Putting me on cave arrest is one thing, but this is too far |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3431 |
My parole officer says I only have to wear this for two more weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.01439 |
70 |
70 |
0 |
0 |
3432 |
I was put under house arrest. I have to wear this three more months. |
1.0000 |
0.01439 |
70 |
70 |
0 |
0 |
3433 |
This house arrest really bites! |
1.0000 |
0.01439 |
70 |
70 |
0 |
0 |
3434 |
It's an anklet. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3435 |
At least he's not humping. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3436 |
I just got him today , he’s a Legasaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3437 |
It looked like it was going to be the Pit of Torments, but my lawyer got it reduced to home detention. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3438 |
Well, at least he doesn't hump my leg like my dog used to do. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3439 |
It stays on till my next court date! |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3440 |
Every time he hears the word "vet"... |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
3441 |
They leave it on until you pay off your jaywalking tickets |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3442 |
I said, ‘Bite me.’ |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3443 |
What's purple, has one eye, one horn, eats people, but can't actually fly? |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3444 |
At least with the ankle monitor, I can stay at home. |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3445 |
Still better then being the third wheel...lets go |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3446 |
I'd like to go, but I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3447 |
Have you met my great-great-grandfather? |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3448 |
The bad news is I am under house arrest, but the good news is my ankle bracelet is getting sleepy. |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3449 |
He's become quite attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
3450 |
Yes, I'm still working on "man's best friend." |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3451 |
I'm having a little problem with dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3452 |
It's time to invent the wheelchair. |
1.0000 |
0.01361 |
74 |
74 |
0 |
0 |
3453 |
Help yourself to a cocktail, dinner is going to be late. |
1.0000 |
0.01550 |
65 |
65 |
0 |
0 |
3454 |
At least the barking has stopped. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3455 |
He's been clingy ever since his playmates went extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3456 |
Don't worry... He won't bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
3457 |
I thought we were all clear at the end of the Cretaceous Period, but apparently not. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
3458 |
It's a police ankle monitor. Sorry, I can't leave the cave for three months. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
3459 |
Atleast he's not humping anymore since we got him fixed. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
3460 |
Please tell me you brought the jaws of life |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3461 |
The judge says I have to wear him for another week. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3462 |
The teething stage only lasts about six months. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3463 |
Can I keep him? He just followed me home. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3464 |
We are still working on the concept "fetch". |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3465 |
He keeps acting like this, he'll be extinct. The writing's on the wall. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
3466 |
I would love to join you but I’m on hold right now. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3467 |
Do either of you own a jaws of life? |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3468 |
It’s time to call the dinosaur whisperer. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3469 |
It's an ankle monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3470 |
It stays like this until I'm off of parole. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3471 |
They say to get a pet to prepare for parenthood, so I think i’m ready. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3472 |
I think I have a tick. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3473 |
We're still working on capture and release. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3474 |
I think he has separation anxiety.” |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
3475 |
We need a better way to test whether or not a dinosaur’s a carnivore. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3476 |
So you can see clearly why I invented underpants. |
1.0000 |
0.01379 |
73 |
73 |
0 |
0 |
3477 |
We have different ideas about what feeding him might look like. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
3478 |
Cave Man 1 to Cave Man 2 & 3 Thanks for visiting, unfortunately me being under house arrest leaves me very limited in terms of my mobility. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
3479 |
We haven’t worked on “Leave it” yet. |
1.0000 |
0.01342 |
75 |
75 |
0 |
0 |
3480 |
Judge make me wear monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
3481 |
Can he keep me? |
1.0000 |
0.01418 |
71 |
71 |
0 |
0 |
3482 |
He says I taste like chicken. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
3483 |
These miniature breeds are so high strung. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3484 |
They said I can get it off in six weeks if I don't leave the property. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
3485 |
Don't ever marry the first one to say yes. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3486 |
...well leaving that aside for one minute, I’d like to turn your attention to the high vaulted ceilings, original artwork, commanding scenic views, why there’s even a wheel port for your wheel. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3487 |
I'm under house arrest for another 60 days. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
3488 |
It’s the latest ankle bracelet from the F.B.I. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3489 |
If you think this is bad, you should hear its bark. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3490 |
After we get 'heel' down, we'll work on 'play extinct.' |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3491 |
The shelter said not to worry: rescues can be possessive at first. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3492 |
I think I'll name him Ankleosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3493 |
House arrest in the Middle Pleistocene. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3494 |
He's a court-appointed monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3495 |
His bite is worse than his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3496 |
It's a probationataurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
3497 |
Ok, the next animal we try domesticating will be a dog. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3498 |
I will admit that on Tinder she said she liked men with good legs. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3499 |
I made eye contact. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
3500 |
In a few millennia, they’ll call it a “cat”. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
3501 |
No jail time, but I have to wear an ankle bracelet for three weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.00311 |
322 |
322 |
0 |
0 |
3502 |
The great thing is, he doesn’t shed. |
1.0000 |
0.00468 |
214 |
214 |
0 |
0 |
3503 |
I'm hoping he'll be extinct soon. |
1.0000 |
0.00360 |
278 |
278 |
0 |
0 |
3504 |
Before I fired him, Steve, here, was my Chief Strategist and sat on the National Security Council |
1.0000 |
0.00482 |
208 |
208 |
0 |
0 |
3505 |
I'm just glad we chose the teacup. |
1.0000 |
0.00421 |
238 |
238 |
0 |
0 |
3506 |
I think I have foot in mouth disease. |
1.0000 |
0.00844 |
119 |
119 |
0 |
0 |
3507 |
You should hear his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.00293 |
342 |
342 |
0 |
0 |
3508 |
He blames me for the divorce |
1.0000 |
0.00480 |
209 |
209 |
0 |
0 |
3509 |
Some days you eat the stegosaurus. Other days it eats you. |
1.0000 |
0.00385 |
260 |
260 |
0 |
0 |
3510 |
He gets a little insecure when we have new people over. |
1.0000 |
0.00285 |
351 |
351 |
0 |
0 |
3511 |
I’m done for ... save yourselves. |
1.0000 |
0.00286 |
350 |
350 |
0 |
0 |
3512 |
I'm trying to teach him to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.00311 |
322 |
322 |
0 |
0 |
3513 |
He probably heard us say we were having you over for lunch. |
1.0000 |
0.00363 |
276 |
276 |
0 |
0 |
3514 |
The judge gave me six months of cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00300 |
334 |
334 |
0 |
0 |
3515 |
It's going to evolve into a loyal, loving companion called a cat. |
1.0000 |
0.00318 |
315 |
315 |
0 |
0 |
3516 |
My other option was to surrender my passport. |
1.0000 |
0.00976 |
103 |
103 |
0 |
0 |
3517 |
As a pet, they become quite attached to you. |
1.0000 |
0.00262 |
382 |
382 |
0 |
0 |
3518 |
Yes, yes, I know. But he promised to make my cave great again. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3519 |
Can’t make it out today, I’m still under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00375 |
267 |
267 |
0 |
0 |
3520 |
What's eating you? |
1.0000 |
0.00375 |
267 |
267 |
0 |
0 |
3521 |
Welcome home. Now, about my pet-sitter fee. |
1.0000 |
0.00399 |
251 |
251 |
0 |
0 |
3522 |
It qualifies as a pre-existing condition. |
1.0000 |
0.00419 |
239 |
239 |
0 |
0 |
3523 |
The plea bargain included cave confinement with an anklesaur bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.00360 |
278 |
278 |
0 |
0 |
3524 |
“Get a pet,” they said. “You’ll have fun,” they said. |
1.0000 |
0.00430 |
233 |
233 |
0 |
0 |
3525 |
I got sentenced to 6 months cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00381 |
263 |
263 |
0 |
0 |
3526 |
It's an evolving relationship. |
1.0000 |
0.00384 |
261 |
261 |
0 |
0 |
3527 |
"I'm under cave arrest until the trial by fire". |
1.0000 |
0.00366 |
274 |
274 |
0 |
0 |
3528 |
Maybe I should just meet you there. |
1.0000 |
0.00418 |
240 |
240 |
0 |
0 |
3529 |
Soon, one of us will be extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.00334 |
300 |
300 |
0 |
0 |
3530 |
I said "heel" |
1.0000 |
0.00271 |
369 |
369 |
0 |
0 |
3531 |
The good news is no one notices my limp anymore! |
1.0000 |
0.00337 |
297 |
297 |
0 |
0 |
3532 |
Can we keep him, Mom? Please? |
1.0000 |
0.00340 |
295 |
295 |
0 |
0 |
3533 |
Can he keep me? |
1.0000 |
0.00430 |
233 |
233 |
0 |
0 |
3534 |
Obviously the Judge considers me a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.00328 |
305 |
305 |
0 |
0 |
3535 |
He looked smaller in the cave painting. |
1.0000 |
0.00331 |
303 |
303 |
0 |
0 |
3536 |
He was shy at first, but we’ve become quite attached. |
1.0000 |
0.00324 |
309 |
309 |
0 |
0 |
3537 |
The judge said they'll take it off in two moons if I stay in my cave. |
1.0000 |
0.00327 |
306 |
306 |
0 |
0 |
3538 |
Quick! Invent surgery! |
1.0000 |
0.00309 |
324 |
324 |
0 |
0 |
3539 |
No Agatha, I don't think that's why its called an Ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.00337 |
297 |
297 |
0 |
0 |
3540 |
He gets so excited when I get back to the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.00375 |
267 |
267 |
0 |
0 |
3541 |
She's a little possessive, true, but the thing is she makes me laugh. |
1.0000 |
0.00402 |
249 |
249 |
0 |
0 |
3542 |
I hate demonstrating these security systems. |
1.0000 |
0.00275 |
364 |
364 |
0 |
0 |
3543 |
I really need to work on his separation anxiety issue. |
1.0000 |
0.00837 |
120 |
120 |
0 |
0 |
3544 |
Sorry, I can't go. I'm on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00220 |
455 |
455 |
0 |
0 |
3545 |
He's looking for attention; just ignore him. |
1.0000 |
0.00241 |
415 |
415 |
0 |
0 |
3546 |
" Cave arrest......It'll be off by Summer". |
1.0000 |
0.00170 |
589 |
589 |
0 |
0 |
3547 |
He's on the Paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.00222 |
450 |
450 |
0 |
0 |
3548 |
He’s a rescue. Who knows what he’s been through? |
1.0000 |
0.00192 |
520 |
520 |
0 |
0 |
3549 |
In a smaller dinosaur, this would be considered a love bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
3550 |
His issues with attachment aren’t evolving the way we’d like. |
1.0000 |
0.00295 |
339 |
339 |
0 |
0 |
3551 |
On the bright side, he solved my rat problem |
1.0000 |
0.00215 |
466 |
466 |
0 |
0 |
3552 |
It was either cave arrest, or death by triceratops. |
1.0000 |
0.00223 |
449 |
449 |
0 |
0 |
3553 |
My mistake. I said don't bite the hand that feeds you. |
1.0000 |
0.00214 |
467 |
467 |
0 |
0 |
3554 |
He should evolve out of it. |
1.0000 |
0.00193 |
519 |
519 |
0 |
0 |
3555 |
They said his previous owners couldn't be found. |
1.0000 |
0.00232 |
431 |
431 |
0 |
0 |
3556 |
Fluffy? Are you sure that’s a good name? |
1.0000 |
0.00234 |
428 |
428 |
0 |
0 |
3557 |
He’s become very attached. |
1.0000 |
0.00176 |
570 |
570 |
0 |
0 |
3558 |
He thinks I’m the mailman. |
1.0000 |
0.00274 |
366 |
366 |
0 |
0 |
3559 |
House arrest I can take. What keeps gnawing at me is the guilt. |
1.0000 |
0.00183 |
548 |
548 |
0 |
0 |
3560 |
I pled down to house arrest and an ankle monitor! |
1.0000 |
0.00797 |
126 |
126 |
0 |
0 |
3561 |
Don't make eye contact...DO..NOT..MAKE..EYE CONTACT! |
1.0000 |
0.00371 |
270 |
270 |
0 |
0 |
3562 |
He looked so sweet and helpless at the shelter. |
1.0000 |
0.00182 |
551 |
551 |
0 |
0 |
3563 |
He is an Ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.00191 |
523 |
523 |
0 |
0 |
3564 |
I lost the other one in the laundry. |
1.0000 |
0.00185 |
540 |
540 |
0 |
0 |
3565 |
Actually, his bark is worse. |
1.0000 |
0.00288 |
348 |
348 |
0 |
0 |
3566 |
Other than that, I slept really well. |
1.0000 |
0.00237 |
422 |
422 |
0 |
0 |
3567 |
He's a rescue with separation anxiety issues. |
1.0000 |
0.00221 |
453 |
453 |
0 |
0 |
3568 |
My big mistake was calling him Bannon. |
1.0000 |
0.00212 |
473 |
473 |
0 |
0 |
3569 |
The ankle monitor is a pain, but it beats sitting in jail |
1.0000 |
0.00242 |
414 |
414 |
0 |
0 |
3570 |
This is our newest little ankle bitter. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3571 |
Our relationship is evolving. |
1.0000 |
0.00249 |
402 |
402 |
0 |
0 |
3572 |
At least he doesn't hump. |
1.0000 |
0.00351 |
285 |
285 |
0 |
0 |
3573 |
I'm looking forward to being a cat person. |
1.0000 |
0.00243 |
412 |
412 |
0 |
0 |
3574 |
I'm actually more troubled by the anachronism. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
3575 |
I got to keep the dog, she got everything else. |
1.0000 |
0.00778 |
129 |
129 |
0 |
0 |
3576 |
#MeToo |
1.0000 |
0.00522 |
192 |
192 |
0 |
0 |
3577 |
It was this or jail time. |
1.0000 |
0.00233 |
430 |
430 |
0 |
0 |
3578 |
I'm about to invent the lawsuit. |
1.0000 |
0.00292 |
343 |
343 |
0 |
0 |
3579 |
How do you like my Jimmy Chew shoe? |
1.0000 |
0.00224 |
446 |
446 |
0 |
0 |
3580 |
Well let me tell you, his bark is even worse. |
1.0000 |
0.00418 |
240 |
240 |
0 |
0 |
3581 |
He's still at that clingy stage. |
1.0000 |
0.00269 |
372 |
372 |
0 |
0 |
3582 |
I prefer to call it a strong sense of attachment. |
1.0000 |
0.00208 |
481 |
481 |
0 |
0 |
3583 |
The wheel will have to wait, I'm going to invent swearing. |
1.0000 |
0.00340 |
295 |
295 |
0 |
0 |
3584 |
I'd sue the pet store, but I won't have a leg to stand on. |
1.0000 |
0.00456 |
220 |
220 |
0 |
0 |
3585 |
after a couple of days you don't even know he's there |
1.0000 |
0.00375 |
267 |
267 |
0 |
0 |
3586 |
It's a prehistoric condition. |
1.0000 |
0.00375 |
267 |
267 |
0 |
0 |
3587 |
It's not really his fault, he's a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.00580 |
173 |
173 |
0 |
0 |
3588 |
He's a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.00573 |
175 |
175 |
0 |
0 |
3589 |
Apparently I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00567 |
177 |
177 |
0 |
0 |
3590 |
I had no idea I was going to get this attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.00656 |
153 |
153 |
0 |
0 |
3591 |
It's fine. She's just teething. |
1.0000 |
0.00643 |
156 |
156 |
0 |
0 |
3592 |
Our search for man's best friend continues. |
1.0000 |
0.00643 |
156 |
156 |
0 |
0 |
3593 |
Yes, it's evolving into a problem. |
1.0000 |
0.00635 |
158 |
158 |
0 |
0 |
3594 |
How the Ankylosaurus got its name. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
3595 |
I'm inventing shoes for him to chew |
1.0000 |
0.00528 |
190 |
190 |
0 |
0 |
3596 |
He's very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.00528 |
190 |
190 |
0 |
0 |
3597 |
They told us he was vegan. |
1.0000 |
0.00517 |
194 |
194 |
0 |
0 |
3598 |
I don’t think we quite understand the food chain yet |
1.0000 |
0.00514 |
195 |
195 |
0 |
0 |
3599 |
It’s called an ankle monitor, but I think it wants to eat me. |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3600 |
Call me the eternal optimist, but I see a future in which they will give us unconditional love. |
1.0000 |
0.00557 |
180 |
180 |
0 |
0 |
3601 |
He really puts the sore in dinosaur |
1.0000 |
0.00656 |
153 |
153 |
0 |
0 |
3602 |
I'm beginning to regret rescuing him from extinction. |
1.0000 |
0.00545 |
184 |
184 |
0 |
0 |
3603 |
He’s teething. |
1.0000 |
0.00647 |
155 |
155 |
0 |
0 |
3604 |
Yes I'm up for a walk but I can't do hills. |
1.0000 |
0.00583 |
172 |
172 |
0 |
0 |
3605 |
I would, but it's an endangered species. |
1.0000 |
0.00590 |
170 |
170 |
0 |
0 |
3606 |
I couldn't care less whether it's an alligator or a crocodile. |
1.0000 |
0.00590 |
170 |
170 |
0 |
0 |
3607 |
So, like I said, he needs his suppositories three times a day, prefers tuna steaks for meals, and he LOVES kids. |
1.0000 |
0.00593 |
169 |
169 |
0 |
0 |
3608 |
He's a great companion, completely housebroken, eats anything. |
1.0000 |
0.00583 |
172 |
172 |
0 |
0 |
3609 |
I am thinking of inventing fire so we can barbeque him. |
1.0000 |
0.00583 |
172 |
172 |
0 |
0 |
3610 |
I'm on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00583 |
172 |
172 |
0 |
0 |
3611 |
Extinct my foot ! |
1.0000 |
0.00738 |
136 |
136 |
0 |
0 |
3612 |
Help me find his chew toy. |
1.0000 |
0.00570 |
176 |
176 |
0 |
0 |
3613 |
The judge gave me thirty days of cave arrest and an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.00563 |
178 |
178 |
0 |
0 |
3614 |
So far it has cost me an arm. |
1.0000 |
0.00623 |
161 |
161 |
0 |
0 |
3615 |
He loves having people for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.00712 |
141 |
141 |
0 |
0 |
3616 |
Dont' worry, he doesn't shed. |
1.0000 |
0.00533 |
188 |
188 |
0 |
0 |
3617 |
I think we should try once more domesticating that wolf instead |
1.0000 |
0.00612 |
164 |
164 |
0 |
0 |
3618 |
Yea, I stopped work on the wheel so I could focus all of my energies on inventing the muzzle. |
1.0000 |
0.00590 |
170 |
170 |
0 |
0 |
3619 |
He suffers from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00590 |
170 |
170 |
0 |
0 |
3620 |
She is supposed to evolve, but it is taking forever. |
1.0000 |
0.00673 |
149 |
149 |
0 |
0 |
3621 |
It’s not so much the biting. It’s the licking. |
1.0000 |
0.00772 |
130 |
130 |
0 |
0 |
3622 |
It’s cheaper than a leash |
1.0000 |
0.00551 |
182 |
182 |
0 |
0 |
3623 |
It's a Legosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.00551 |
182 |
182 |
0 |
0 |
3624 |
He has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01439 |
70 |
70 |
0 |
0 |
3625 |
He doesn't bark........so yes, the bite is much worse. |
1.0000 |
0.00536 |
187 |
187 |
0 |
0 |
3626 |
I hate the teething stage. |
1.0000 |
0.00678 |
148 |
148 |
0 |
0 |
3627 |
I would sue, but I don't have a leg to stand on. |
1.0000 |
0.00533 |
188 |
188 |
0 |
0 |
3628 |
C’mon in, just try not to wake up her big brother. |
1.0000 |
0.00639 |
157 |
157 |
0 |
0 |
3629 |
House arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00760 |
132 |
132 |
0 |
0 |
3630 |
The original plan was to eat him, but then we got attached. |
1.0000 |
0.00576 |
174 |
174 |
0 |
0 |
3631 |
Apparently I owe more than $350 in outstanding parking violations. |
1.0000 |
0.00560 |
179 |
179 |
0 |
0 |
3632 |
Good question. Where IS my wife? |
1.0000 |
0.00533 |
188 |
188 |
0 |
0 |
3633 |
Honestly, I wouldn't have noticed it if you hadn't said anything. |
1.0000 |
0.00496 |
202 |
202 |
0 |
0 |
3634 |
Please crop him out of the cave painting. |
1.0000 |
0.00440 |
228 |
228 |
0 |
0 |
3635 |
I got three months probation and I can’t go more than 50 feet from the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.00440 |
228 |
228 |
0 |
0 |
3636 |
It was cute when he was little. |
1.0000 |
0.00398 |
252 |
252 |
0 |
0 |
3637 |
I’d rather you amputate his head. |
1.0000 |
0.00401 |
250 |
250 |
0 |
0 |
3638 |
Is this what they mean by Snapchat? |
1.0000 |
0.00464 |
216 |
216 |
0 |
0 |
3639 |
Apparently, I just have to wait for him to die out. |
1.0000 |
0.00404 |
248 |
248 |
0 |
0 |
3640 |
He's a wonderful pet but it costs an arm and a leg to feed him. |
1.0000 |
0.00414 |
242 |
242 |
0 |
0 |
3641 |
I guess house arrest is better than being in jail. |
1.0000 |
0.00419 |
239 |
239 |
0 |
0 |
3642 |
I call it a 'Fitbit.' |
1.0000 |
0.00384 |
261 |
261 |
0 |
0 |
3643 |
No, he's not an armadillo, he's a legadillo. |
1.0000 |
0.00421 |
238 |
238 |
0 |
0 |
3644 |
It's the weirdest thing- it takes away my back pain! |
1.0000 |
0.00451 |
222 |
222 |
0 |
0 |
3645 |
Actually, teaching him not to pee in the cave was a lot worse. |
1.0000 |
0.00382 |
262 |
262 |
0 |
0 |
3646 |
All those unpaid parking tickets finally caught up with me. |
1.0000 |
0.00411 |
244 |
244 |
0 |
0 |
3647 |
Let's keep looking. I have a bad feeling about this one. |
1.0000 |
0.00353 |
284 |
284 |
0 |
0 |
3648 |
His bark is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.00411 |
244 |
244 |
0 |
0 |
3649 |
Forget the wheel. Someone needs to invent the Frisbee. |
1.0000 |
0.00160 |
626 |
626 |
0 |
0 |
3650 |
I mean yeah it hurts, but its not like I can afford insurance in this economy. |
1.0000 |
0.00506 |
198 |
198 |
0 |
0 |
3651 |
Obviously not as extinct as you might think. |
1.0000 |
0.00573 |
175 |
175 |
0 |
0 |
3652 |
This just started, I think it's the new cave. |
1.0000 |
0.00501 |
200 |
200 |
0 |
0 |
3653 |
Regretfully I won’t be able to attend the Bronze Age. |
1.0000 |
0.00499 |
201 |
201 |
0 |
0 |
3654 |
It's from the government and it's here to help us. |
1.0000 |
0.00499 |
201 |
201 |
0 |
0 |
3655 |
It’s not news unless I bite him. |
1.0000 |
0.00496 |
202 |
202 |
0 |
0 |
3656 |
I considered getting a "dog", but I hear that their bark is even worse than their bite. |
1.0000 |
0.00496 |
202 |
202 |
0 |
0 |
3657 |
I always manage to lose one when I do laundry. |
1.0000 |
0.00664 |
151 |
151 |
0 |
0 |
3658 |
...and the sellers are also including their burglar alarm system. |
1.0000 |
0.00531 |
189 |
189 |
0 |
0 |
3659 |
My parole officer says it comes off in 6 weeks with good behavior. |
1.0000 |
0.00528 |
190 |
190 |
0 |
0 |
3660 |
I'm still glad we didn't get a cat. |
1.0000 |
0.00506 |
198 |
198 |
0 |
0 |
3661 |
Jim, did you forget to feed the legosaurus? |
1.0000 |
0.00528 |
190 |
190 |
0 |
0 |
3662 |
The court ordered me to wear it until the end of the stone age. |
1.0000 |
0.00873 |
115 |
115 |
0 |
0 |
3663 |
You were right. Pet's really do tie you down. |
1.0000 |
0.00522 |
192 |
192 |
0 |
0 |
3664 |
You never really know what you’re getting with a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.00519 |
193 |
193 |
0 |
0 |
3665 |
I need to invent the Chew Toy. |
1.0000 |
0.00517 |
194 |
194 |
0 |
0 |
3666 |
On the plus-side, he’s using the litter box now. |
1.0000 |
0.00619 |
162 |
162 |
0 |
0 |
3667 |
Have either of you seen Ethel?. |
1.0000 |
0.00608 |
165 |
165 |
0 |
0 |
3668 |
I wouldn't mind letting him go extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.00597 |
168 |
168 |
0 |
0 |
3669 |
Is it really that noticeable? |
1.0000 |
0.00580 |
173 |
173 |
0 |
0 |
3670 |
I just have to wait it out until he goes extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.00525 |
191 |
191 |
0 |
0 |
3671 |
This was the condition for my cave arrest |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
3672 |
It's a metaphysical question. Do we own our pets or do they own us? |
1.0000 |
0.00168 |
597 |
597 |
0 |
0 |
3673 |
Go without me. I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00149 |
673 |
673 |
0 |
0 |
3674 |
He's a Tyrannodoodle, so he's hypoallergenic. |
1.0000 |
0.00120 |
836 |
836 |
0 |
0 |
3675 |
We're still working on 'heel.' |
1.0000 |
0.00051 |
1966 |
1966 |
0 |
0 |
3676 |
As far as I'm concerned, they can't become extinct fast enough. |
1.0000 |
0.00058 |
1731 |
1731 |
0 |
0 |
3677 |
He always knows when we're going on a trip. |
1.0000 |
0.00062 |
1607 |
1607 |
0 |
0 |
3678 |
It's called a FitBit. |
1.0000 |
0.00054 |
1848 |
1848 |
0 |
0 |
3679 |
Apparently I taste like chicken... |
1.0000 |
0.00058 |
1723 |
1723 |
0 |
0 |
3680 |
Mom? Dad? Does our healthcare cover prehistoric conditions? |
1.0000 |
0.00051 |
1947 |
1947 |
0 |
0 |
3681 |
It's time for his walk. |
1.0000 |
0.00037 |
2709 |
2709 |
0 |
0 |
3682 |
All I said was "Heel." |
1.0000 |
0.00060 |
1679 |
1679 |
0 |
0 |
3683 |
They said "Adopt two so they can play with each other", but I didn't listen. |
1.0000 |
0.00062 |
1601 |
1601 |
0 |
0 |
3684 |
It counts my steps. |
1.0000 |
0.00041 |
2419 |
2419 |
0 |
0 |
3685 |
I'm on cave arrest until my hearing |
1.0000 |
0.00065 |
1538 |
1538 |
0 |
0 |
3686 |
Is Ouch a word yet? |
1.0000 |
0.00061 |
1651 |
1651 |
0 |
0 |
3687 |
I thought Crocs were supposed to be comfortable! |
1.0000 |
0.00038 |
2603 |
2603 |
0 |
0 |
3688 |
My God, we all have one eye! |
1.0000 |
0.00178 |
563 |
563 |
0 |
0 |
3689 |
He's gotten very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.00101 |
987 |
987 |
0 |
0 |
3690 |
I'd love to but I'm still under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00042 |
2388 |
2388 |
0 |
0 |
3691 |
With all this talk of extinction, he's afraid of being left alone. |
1.0000 |
0.00059 |
1690 |
1690 |
0 |
0 |
3692 |
I got three months cave arrest and an Ankylosaurus monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.00052 |
1919 |
1919 |
0 |
0 |
3693 |
We're still having some attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.00059 |
1699 |
1699 |
0 |
0 |
3694 |
House arrest -- ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.00076 |
1319 |
1319 |
0 |
0 |
3695 |
I caught it. You cook it. |
1.0000 |
0.00065 |
1531 |
1531 |
0 |
0 |
3696 |
He's become attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.00157 |
639 |
639 |
0 |
0 |
3697 |
I forgot the password. |
1.0000 |
0.00091 |
1099 |
1099 |
0 |
0 |
3698 |
Well I would have gotten a cat, but I'm allergic. |
1.0000 |
0.00107 |
939 |
939 |
0 |
0 |
3699 |
How do I disable the alarm again? |
1.0000 |
0.00107 |
938 |
938 |
0 |
0 |
3700 |
He's a purebred. Cost me an arm and a leg! |
1.0000 |
0.00125 |
803 |
803 |
0 |
0 |
3701 |
Somethings been gnawing at me lately. |
1.0000 |
0.00069 |
1457 |
1457 |
0 |
0 |
3702 |
As far as I'm concerned, they can't become extinct fast enough. |
1.0000 |
0.00066 |
1512 |
1512 |
0 |
0 |
3703 |
He's on the caveman diet. |
1.0000 |
0.00045 |
2200 |
2200 |
0 |
0 |
3704 |
We're still working on 'heel.' |
1.0000 |
0.00066 |
1508 |
1508 |
0 |
0 |
3705 |
Let's pick something else to call man's best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.00052 |
1926 |
1926 |
0 |
0 |
3706 |
He'll sit, lie down, and fetch, but he's unclear on 'Heel." |
1.0000 |
0.00066 |
1527 |
1527 |
0 |
0 |
3707 |
He was a wedding present from my mother-in-law! |
1.0000 |
0.00131 |
761 |
761 |
0 |
0 |
3708 |
Something about him just grabbed me. |
1.0000 |
0.00095 |
1056 |
1056 |
0 |
0 |
3709 |
But he's a total chick magnet. |
1.0000 |
0.00100 |
1005 |
1005 |
0 |
0 |
3710 |
It only hurts when I move or when I don't move. |
1.0000 |
0.00061 |
1633 |
1633 |
0 |
0 |
3711 |
Have either of you seen my other Croc? |
1.0000 |
0.00056 |
1789 |
1789 |
0 |
0 |
3712 |
Hey guys, have you seen my other croc? |
1.0000 |
0.00047 |
2145 |
2145 |
0 |
0 |
3713 |
Actually, our relationship is evolving. |
1.0000 |
0.00123 |
811 |
811 |
0 |
0 |
3714 |
The Vet says it might be separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00146 |
684 |
684 |
0 |
0 |
3715 |
All I said was he'd make a beautiful pair of shoes? |
1.0000 |
0.00092 |
1093 |
1093 |
0 |
0 |
3716 |
I found out why they call him an ankylosauros. |
1.0000 |
0.00051 |
1950 |
1950 |
0 |
0 |
3717 |
So far he understands Sit, Fetch, and Roll Over but Heel is painfully problematic. |
1.0000 |
0.00028 |
3534 |
3534 |
0 |
0 |
3718 |
As soon as we discover fire, we're going to eat him. |
1.0000 |
0.00041 |
2451 |
2451 |
0 |
0 |
3719 |
Turns out... the bark wasn't that bad. |
1.0000 |
0.00032 |
3163 |
3163 |
0 |
0 |
3720 |
He's a rescue. Ate his last family. |
1.0000 |
0.00060 |
1663 |
1663 |
0 |
0 |
3721 |
On the plus side, he doesn't shed. |
1.0000 |
0.00059 |
1701 |
1701 |
0 |
0 |
3722 |
Achilles? What kind of a name is Achilles? |
1.0000 |
0.00060 |
1665 |
1665 |
0 |
0 |
3723 |
I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00027 |
3712 |
3712 |
0 |
0 |
3724 |
My wife said to ignore it, since what it wants is attention; but then again, my wife is missing. |
1.0000 |
0.00029 |
3502 |
3502 |
0 |
0 |
3725 |
It counts your steps and keeps your heart-rate up. |
1.0000 |
0.00027 |
3770 |
3770 |
0 |
0 |
3726 |
"I believe I accidentally set off your security system". |
1.0000 |
0.00025 |
4063 |
4063 |
0 |
0 |
3727 |
Somebody carve 9-1-1. |
1.0000 |
0.00027 |
3690 |
3690 |
0 |
0 |
3728 |
The doctor said it will eventually just go extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.00028 |
3592 |
3592 |
0 |
0 |
3729 |
He has trouble with "heel" and for God's sake please don't say B - A - L - L. |
1.0000 |
0.00028 |
3572 |
3572 |
0 |
0 |
3730 |
Have you seen my other Croc? |
1.0000 |
0.00057 |
1754 |
1754 |
0 |
0 |
3731 |
Yes he’s a herbivore. Unfortunately I’m Herb. |
1.0000 |
0.00027 |
3707 |
3707 |
0 |
0 |
3732 |
It's only on for a month and then just some community service |
1.0000 |
0.00027 |
3676 |
3676 |
0 |
0 |
3733 |
Home confinement isn't so bad, but the ankle bracelet is killing me. |
1.0000 |
0.00051 |
1959 |
1959 |
0 |
0 |
3734 |
I have this idea called "pet", but I haven't ironed out all the details. |
1.0000 |
0.00031 |
3204 |
3204 |
0 |
0 |
3735 |
I can't understand why people think these Crocs are so comfortable. |
1.0000 |
0.00030 |
3282 |
3282 |
0 |
0 |
3736 |
It would mean a lot if you guys didn't cave-paint this. |
1.0000 |
0.00030 |
3324 |
3324 |
0 |
0 |
3737 |
Luckily for me, I have Obamacare and they're still covering prehistoric conditions. |
1.0000 |
0.00033 |
3019 |
3019 |
0 |
0 |
3738 |
He understood the "Heel" command right away. |
1.0000 |
0.00044 |
2276 |
2276 |
0 |
0 |
3739 |
Fuck the New Yorker. There's nothing funny about this! |
1.0000 |
0.00051 |
1966 |
1966 |
0 |
0 |
3740 |
Actually, his bark is worse. |
1.0000 |
0.00042 |
2397 |
2397 |
0 |
0 |
3741 |
"Would you mind turning-off your home security system"! |
1.0000 |
0.00036 |
2798 |
2798 |
0 |
0 |
3742 |
The good news is he's nearly extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.00045 |
2231 |
2231 |
0 |
0 |
3743 |
He is costing me an arm and a leg to feed. |
1.0000 |
0.00039 |
2542 |
2542 |
0 |
0 |
3744 |
The garbage disposal is acting up again. |
1.0000 |
0.00035 |
2834 |
2834 |
0 |
0 |
3745 |
You always find an excuse for not going out to dinner with us. |
1.0000 |
0.00110 |
910 |
910 |
0 |
0 |
3746 |
Forget the wheel. Can you invent the chew toy? |
1.0000 |
0.00053 |
1887 |
1887 |
0 |
0 |
3747 |
Just give me a minute to disarm the security system. |
1.0000 |
0.00036 |
2761 |
2761 |
0 |
0 |
3748 |
A little obedience training, and a couple million years of evolution, and you're looking at man's best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.00035 |
2854 |
2854 |
0 |
0 |
3749 |
Monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.00037 |
2685 |
2685 |
0 |
0 |
3750 |
Have you seen my other Croc? |
1.0000 |
0.00073 |
1375 |
1375 |
0 |
0 |
3751 |
Let me give you some advice: don’t try to drain the swamp |
1.0000 |
0.00039 |
2585 |
2585 |
0 |
0 |
3752 |
Before I leave there's something that's been gnawing at me. |
1.0000 |
0.00037 |
2669 |
2669 |
0 |
0 |
3753 |
He was so cute as an egg. |
1.0000 |
0.00033 |
2990 |
2990 |
0 |
0 |
3754 |
Since the meteor hit, he's become very clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.00034 |
2929 |
2929 |
0 |
0 |
3755 |
I am so ready for mammals. |
1.0000 |
0.00032 |
3125 |
3125 |
0 |
0 |
3756 |
Yes, well, perhaps 'domesticated' is too strong a word. |
1.0000 |
0.00041 |
2419 |
2419 |
0 |
0 |
3757 |
Well the Henderson's had such great success with domesticating the dog, and the Taylor's with the sheep - I just thought to myself, "How hard can it be?" |
1.0000 |
0.00103 |
975 |
975 |
0 |
0 |
3758 |
...and they asked me if I'd tried turning it off and back on again. |
1.0000 |
0.00179 |
559 |
559 |
0 |
0 |
3759 |
I think he's on the Paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.00079 |
1262 |
1262 |
0 |
0 |
3760 |
Sorry, not ready to go out yet. I have to finish shaving my legs. |
1.0000 |
0.00126 |
792 |
792 |
0 |
0 |
3761 |
I forgot to disable the alarm. |
1.0000 |
0.00127 |
790 |
790 |
0 |
0 |
3762 |
...only when it laughs. |
1.0000 |
0.00120 |
832 |
832 |
0 |
0 |
3763 |
I don’t mind the house arrest but I hate the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
3764 |
Shouldn't have said, "Heel!" |
1.0000 |
0.00117 |
856 |
856 |
0 |
0 |
3765 |
Hi, my name is Achilles. |
1.0000 |
0.00145 |
692 |
692 |
0 |
0 |
3766 |
She gets upset when I try to leave for work. |
1.0000 |
0.00262 |
382 |
382 |
0 |
0 |
3767 |
I just said 'heel'. |
1.0000 |
0.00203 |
494 |
494 |
0 |
0 |
3768 |
Ankle bitelet - house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00108 |
927 |
927 |
0 |
0 |
3769 |
We have a safe word. |
1.0000 |
0.00140 |
717 |
717 |
0 |
0 |
3770 |
Possessive? How do you mean? |
1.0000 |
0.00639 |
157 |
157 |
0 |
0 |
3771 |
The breeder told us he's emotionally VERY stable and VERY intelligent. |
1.0000 |
0.00135 |
742 |
742 |
0 |
0 |
3772 |
So I was going to club him but turns out he's on the endangered species list. |
1.0000 |
0.00143 |
702 |
702 |
0 |
0 |
3773 |
What can I say? He’s a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.00114 |
879 |
879 |
0 |
0 |
3774 |
I've just invented pliers. |
1.0000 |
0.00178 |
561 |
561 |
0 |
0 |
3775 |
The good thing is he doesn't bark. |
1.0000 |
0.00647 |
155 |
155 |
0 |
0 |
3776 |
The exterminator comes on Wednesdays. Would you like to see the rest of the cave? |
1.0000 |
0.00116 |
859 |
859 |
0 |
0 |
3777 |
House arrest isn’t so bad, but this ankle bracelet is starting to chafe |
1.0000 |
0.00138 |
724 |
724 |
0 |
0 |
3778 |
Okay, who left the door uninvented? |
1.0000 |
0.00153 |
655 |
655 |
0 |
0 |
3779 |
Looks like dinner's on me! |
1.0000 |
0.00146 |
686 |
686 |
0 |
0 |
3780 |
I wouldn't say he's my BEST friend, but he's growing on me. |
1.0000 |
0.00292 |
343 |
343 |
0 |
0 |
3781 |
I’m still on cave arrest |
1.0000 |
0.00148 |
677 |
677 |
0 |
0 |
3782 |
I was put on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00143 |
698 |
698 |
0 |
0 |
3783 |
He's very loyal. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3784 |
I'm really more of a cat person. |
1.0000 |
0.00212 |
473 |
473 |
0 |
0 |
3785 |
But enough about me. How was the show? |
1.0000 |
0.00250 |
401 |
401 |
0 |
0 |
3786 |
Meet my wife's divorce lawyer. |
1.0000 |
0.00194 |
515 |
515 |
0 |
0 |
3787 |
Apparently, his mother was a world-famous handbag. |
1.0000 |
0.00238 |
421 |
421 |
0 |
0 |
3788 |
Well, this will shock no one, but Spike failed obedience training. Again. |
1.0000 |
0.00185 |
540 |
540 |
0 |
0 |
3789 |
I'm hoping he'll be extinct soon. |
1.0000 |
0.00108 |
927 |
927 |
0 |
0 |
3790 |
We're very close. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3791 |
He cost me an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.00130 |
768 |
768 |
0 |
0 |
3792 |
I still think I can pass him off as my emotional support animal. |
1.0000 |
0.00156 |
642 |
642 |
0 |
0 |
3793 |
Don’t worry. He is a trained service animal. |
1.0000 |
0.00267 |
375 |
375 |
0 |
0 |
3794 |
It’s my pet peeve. |
1.0000 |
0.00212 |
472 |
472 |
0 |
0 |
3795 |
It hurt at first but you get used it. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
3796 |
I thought the pet-sitting ad said, "Playful and loving," not "Painful and numbing." |
1.0000 |
0.00749 |
134 |
134 |
0 |
0 |
3797 |
He followed me home. |
1.0000 |
0.01482 |
68 |
68 |
0 |
0 |
3798 |
His name is Chewy. |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
3799 |
He's just teething. |
1.0000 |
0.00242 |
414 |
414 |
0 |
0 |
3800 |
The alternative was a monkey on my back. |
1.0000 |
0.00119 |
842 |
842 |
0 |
0 |
3801 |
I can come with you, but he's going to be a drag. |
1.0000 |
0.00117 |
855 |
855 |
0 |
0 |
3802 |
He knows “fetch”, and we’re working on “drop it”. |
1.0000 |
0.00136 |
737 |
737 |
0 |
0 |
3803 |
Turns out it’s a “gatored” community |
1.0000 |
0.00167 |
598 |
598 |
0 |
0 |
3804 |
It's a new kind of currency called bitecoin. |
1.0000 |
0.00095 |
1055 |
1055 |
0 |
0 |
3805 |
So if you could just make the petroglyph showing me with a spear chasing this guy, I think the anthropologists would be more impressed with who we were as a people. |
1.0000 |
0.00095 |
1056 |
1056 |
0 |
0 |
3806 |
He’s a rescue and we’re working through a few issues. |
1.0000 |
0.00097 |
1028 |
1028 |
0 |
0 |
3807 |
Maybe we should try domesticating wolves instead. |
1.0000 |
0.00090 |
1115 |
1115 |
0 |
0 |
3808 |
I'll wait here while you invent tools. |
1.0000 |
0.00088 |
1142 |
1142 |
0 |
0 |
3809 |
They told me about attachment issues but I never expected this. |
1.0000 |
0.00116 |
861 |
861 |
0 |
0 |
3810 |
Unfortunately I can only demonstrate this security system once. |
1.0000 |
0.00098 |
1017 |
1017 |
0 |
0 |
3811 |
Extinct my ass. |
1.0000 |
0.00176 |
570 |
570 |
0 |
0 |
3812 |
It's not the breed; it's how they're raised. |
1.0000 |
0.00079 |
1261 |
1261 |
0 |
0 |
3813 |
It won't be quite so cute when he weighs 20 tons. |
1.0000 |
0.00149 |
673 |
673 |
0 |
0 |
3814 |
He still has some attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.00081 |
1241 |
1241 |
0 |
0 |
3815 |
It lets me know when I reach ten thousand steps. |
1.0000 |
0.00084 |
1192 |
1192 |
0 |
0 |
3816 |
I think he's just pulling my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.00082 |
1214 |
1214 |
0 |
0 |
3817 |
Yah, I posted bail - but Judge Ogg thought I was a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.00160 |
627 |
627 |
0 |
0 |
3818 |
He’s great with kids though |
1.0000 |
0.00152 |
660 |
660 |
0 |
0 |
3819 |
In this instance the bark isn't worse . |
1.0000 |
0.00089 |
1123 |
1123 |
0 |
0 |
3820 |
You can't defeat the ankle monitor, but it can de-feet you. |
1.0000 |
0.00100 |
997 |
997 |
0 |
0 |
3821 |
Sarah said; See you later, alligator. I said; Catch you in a while crocodile... I guess he thought we were mocking him... |
1.0000 |
0.00169 |
593 |
593 |
0 |
0 |
3822 |
"I just start biting them. It's like a magnet. Just bite. I don't even wait. And when you're a dinosaur, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the tibia". |
1.0000 |
0.00539 |
186 |
186 |
0 |
0 |
3823 |
The ankle monitor should come off after my next court hearing. |
1.0000 |
0.00184 |
543 |
543 |
0 |
0 |
3824 |
I'm under cave arrest, this is my ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.00176 |
569 |
569 |
0 |
0 |
3825 |
He's become quite attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.00160 |
624 |
624 |
0 |
0 |
3826 |
Can't go. I'm still under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00099 |
1010 |
1010 |
0 |
0 |
3827 |
Our fault ... we trained him to hunt for bones. |
1.0000 |
0.00093 |
1073 |
1073 |
0 |
0 |
3828 |
Just four more weeks of cave arrest and the ankle monitor lizard comes off. |
1.0000 |
0.00162 |
619 |
619 |
0 |
0 |
3829 |
All I can say is do NOT ignore parking tickets. |
1.0000 |
0.00112 |
891 |
891 |
0 |
0 |
3830 |
Unfortunately I can't go to the hospital - it's not a pre-historic condition. |
1.0000 |
0.00091 |
1095 |
1095 |
0 |
0 |
3831 |
Bob Mueller says it will come off after I testify. |
1.0000 |
0.00278 |
360 |
360 |
0 |
0 |
3832 |
Trust me, crocks are the next big thing in footwear. |
1.0000 |
0.00107 |
935 |
935 |
0 |
0 |
3833 |
I agree that dinosaurs died out long before the first hominids, but that statement, as valid as it is, doesn't really solve my problem. |
1.0000 |
0.00095 |
1048 |
1048 |
0 |
0 |
3834 |
No, he just ate Stephanie so we're good for a couple of hours till he's hungry again. Come on in! |
1.0000 |
0.00120 |
832 |
832 |
0 |
0 |
3835 |
Sorry...still on cave arrest |
1.0000 |
0.00089 |
1122 |
1122 |
0 |
0 |
3836 |
I can't go anywhere without him. |
1.0000 |
0.00135 |
739 |
739 |
0 |
0 |
3837 |
I can't go, I'm grounded tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.00201 |
498 |
498 |
0 |
0 |
3838 |
He is pretty much housebroken but we still have to work on his separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00093 |
1075 |
1075 |
0 |
0 |
3839 |
The upside is I made bail. |
1.0000 |
0.00098 |
1020 |
1020 |
0 |
0 |
3840 |
Has he had his shots? |
1.0000 |
0.00182 |
549 |
549 |
0 |
0 |
3841 |
We're still having a problem with "Heel". |
1.0000 |
0.00124 |
807 |
807 |
0 |
0 |
3842 |
He identifies as a predator. |
1.0000 |
0.00163 |
613 |
613 |
0 |
0 |
3843 |
At least he doesn't shed. |
1.0000 |
0.00114 |
881 |
881 |
0 |
0 |
3844 |
You'll actually find her quite charming once the numbness sets in. |
1.0000 |
0.00772 |
130 |
130 |
0 |
0 |
3845 |
I can't come. I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
3846 |
I can't wait for the leash to be invented. |
1.0000 |
0.00687 |
146 |
146 |
0 |
0 |
3847 |
Forgot to feed him again, didn't you? |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
3848 |
He's at that I'm-gonna-bite-off-your-leg age, but he's such a sweetheart. |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
3849 |
He's a rescue, but he seems to resent me. |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
3850 |
It's a codependasaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
3851 |
Believe me, his bark is much worse! |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
3852 |
Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
3853 |
He's my home arrest monitor... |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
3854 |
Is that an alligator shoe, or a Croc? |
1.0000 |
0.00858 |
117 |
117 |
0 |
0 |
3855 |
The look makes more sense with the matching handbag |
1.0000 |
0.00985 |
102 |
102 |
0 |
0 |
3856 |
Did either of you bring the Jaws of Life? |
1.0000 |
0.00985 |
102 |
102 |
0 |
0 |
3857 |
The vet thinks it might be separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00985 |
102 |
102 |
0 |
0 |
3858 |
I'm beginning to think there might be other animals out there who are better suited for domestication. |
1.0000 |
0.00913 |
110 |
110 |
0 |
0 |
3859 |
Any word from the exterminator? |
1.0000 |
0.00913 |
110 |
110 |
0 |
0 |
3860 |
Yeah. Grounded. |
1.0000 |
0.00913 |
110 |
110 |
0 |
0 |
3861 |
He is a herding dinasour. He will not let me leave the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.00851 |
118 |
118 |
0 |
0 |
3862 |
Turns out he's an omnivore. |
1.0000 |
0.01418 |
71 |
71 |
0 |
0 |
3863 |
We're pretty sure he'll eventually evolve into a chihuahua. |
1.0000 |
0.01418 |
71 |
71 |
0 |
0 |
3864 |
I swear, I paid that ticket months ago. |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
3865 |
It was a rescue dinosaur |
1.0000 |
0.00995 |
101 |
101 |
0 |
0 |
3866 |
It’s not the breed, it’s how they were raised. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
3867 |
The vet says it's just the age he's going through. |
1.0000 |
0.00866 |
116 |
116 |
0 |
0 |
3868 |
Unfortunately, he has attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
3869 |
He's a leg man. |
1.0000 |
0.00897 |
112 |
112 |
0 |
0 |
3870 |
The shelter said he has abandonment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.00837 |
120 |
120 |
0 |
0 |
3871 |
With any luck he will be extinct in a few months. |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
3872 |
I was sentenced to home confinement. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
3873 |
I’m just happy I got my underwear on before it happened. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
3874 |
The jail cave is full so the judge sentenced me to house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
3875 |
Cave arrest. And not permitted to carry a club for six months. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
3876 |
Get a pet, they said. It'll be fun, they said. |
1.0000 |
0.01058 |
95 |
95 |
0 |
0 |
3877 |
He is a mini tyrannodoodle. |
1.0000 |
0.00881 |
114 |
114 |
0 |
0 |
3878 |
They are extinct but this one keeps clinging on. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3879 |
He’s pretty attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.00939 |
107 |
107 |
0 |
0 |
3880 |
Oh, Mom! All the kids are wearing them. |
1.0000 |
0.01460 |
69 |
69 |
0 |
0 |
3881 |
This ankle monitor is getting to be a real pain. |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3882 |
He prefers meat on the bone. |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3883 |
It says to cover his head with petroleum jelly or tug firmly with tweezers, but maybe I misidentified what it is? |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3884 |
Since we rescued him from the shelter he's become very attached. |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3885 |
It's only news when I bite him. |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3886 |
And then I said, “You’re just pulling my leg.” |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3887 |
Got a launch date yet for those pliers you've been working on? |
1.0000 |
0.00905 |
111 |
111 |
0 |
0 |
3888 |
Believe it or not, it's a service lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.00905 |
111 |
111 |
0 |
0 |
3889 |
My parole officer said it'll come off in a few weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
3890 |
Sorry, I'm on home confinement. |
1.0000 |
0.00939 |
107 |
107 |
0 |
0 |
3891 |
He's having difficulty with the 'heel' command. |
1.0000 |
0.00939 |
107 |
107 |
0 |
0 |
3892 |
Next time I watch him, leave his chew toy. |
1.0000 |
0.00939 |
107 |
107 |
0 |
0 |
3893 |
A roommate is a small price to pay. Have you seen these ceilings? |
1.0000 |
0.00866 |
116 |
116 |
0 |
0 |
3894 |
...we aren't quite sure. He's a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.00866 |
116 |
116 |
0 |
0 |
3895 |
On the flip side, I've discovered a new species. |
1.0000 |
0.00866 |
116 |
116 |
0 |
0 |
3896 |
You told me these things were extinct! |
1.0000 |
0.00866 |
116 |
116 |
0 |
0 |
3897 |
I was lucky. Just house arrest and an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3898 |
It’s a new thing called “house arrest.” |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3899 |
The vet says it’s just separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3900 |
It turns out that domesticating an animal takes a few generations. |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3901 |
It's a service dinosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3902 |
Can the old ball and chain come too? |
1.0000 |
0.00858 |
117 |
117 |
0 |
0 |
3903 |
Actually, the worst part of house arrest isn't the loss of freedom; it's the gnawing guilt. |
1.0000 |
0.00858 |
117 |
117 |
0 |
0 |
3904 |
This cave is going to cost you an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.00858 |
117 |
117 |
0 |
0 |
3905 |
So until the trial I've been put on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00858 |
117 |
117 |
0 |
0 |
3906 |
Give him time, he's still evolving. |
1.0000 |
0.00858 |
117 |
117 |
0 |
0 |
3907 |
It's better than prison, but if I go more than 50 feet from the cave, it will eat me. |
1.0000 |
0.00939 |
107 |
107 |
0 |
0 |
3908 |
He's become very attached to me lately. |
1.0000 |
0.00873 |
115 |
115 |
0 |
0 |
3909 |
It's better than an albatross around the neck |
1.0000 |
0.00873 |
115 |
115 |
0 |
0 |
3910 |
I think I'm more of a cat person. |
1.0000 |
0.01227 |
82 |
82 |
0 |
0 |
3911 |
High ceilings, open loft layout and the best part, pet friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
3912 |
Actually, I prefer it. His bark is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.00897 |
112 |
112 |
0 |
0 |
3913 |
You were right. We should try to domesticate bears. |
1.0000 |
0.00897 |
112 |
112 |
0 |
0 |
3914 |
The doctor said to keep it on until Thursday |
1.0000 |
0.00897 |
112 |
112 |
0 |
0 |
3915 |
I've been naturally selected |
1.0000 |
0.00897 |
112 |
112 |
0 |
0 |
3916 |
It's just a little love bite. |
1.0000 |
0.00830 |
121 |
121 |
0 |
0 |
3917 |
She finally snapped. |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
3918 |
When you were told 'Zook loves people', you should have asked for clarification. |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
3919 |
The shelter said he was part anklylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.00844 |
119 |
119 |
0 |
0 |
3920 |
He's hypoallergenic and a rescue, which is tough to find. |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
3921 |
Don't worry, they'll soon be extinct |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
3922 |
I know he looks mean, but I've become rather attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
3923 |
Mom, Dad, there's someone I'd like you to meet. |
1.0000 |
0.00881 |
114 |
114 |
0 |
0 |
3924 |
The judge says I have to wear this for six months, and I can't leave the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.00881 |
114 |
114 |
0 |
0 |
3925 |
On second thought, you should probably go along without me. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
3926 |
It was a condition of my bail. |
1.0000 |
0.00881 |
114 |
114 |
0 |
0 |
3927 |
He's very attached. |
1.0000 |
0.00881 |
114 |
114 |
0 |
0 |
3928 |
It's progress. We used to be attached at the hip. |
1.0000 |
0.00948 |
106 |
106 |
0 |
0 |
3929 |
At least I still have Obamacare. |
1.0000 |
0.00957 |
105 |
105 |
0 |
0 |
3930 |
The Judge called it monitor and cave arrest..... |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
3931 |
It's a service reptile. |
1.0000 |
0.00913 |
110 |
110 |
0 |
0 |
3932 |
Apparently, I'm delicious. |
1.0000 |
0.00913 |
110 |
110 |
0 |
0 |
3933 |
Well, he's a rescue so we're still socializing him. |
1.0000 |
0.01015 |
99 |
99 |
0 |
0 |
3934 |
'We've decided to eat in tonight.' |
1.0000 |
0.01015 |
99 |
99 |
0 |
0 |
3935 |
... and in about an hour the whole cave floor is polished. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3936 |
The judge told me I had to wear an ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
3937 |
Cave arrest, this is my ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3938 |
What would a Neanderthal do? |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3939 |
It's a new thing I call snapchat |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3940 |
He says he was here first. |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3941 |
So, would you like to see the upstairs? |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3942 |
He's really very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3943 |
Did you remember the doggie treats? |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3944 |
He’s become very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3945 |
I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01005 |
100 |
100 |
0 |
0 |
3946 |
Sorry to disturb you folks, but would you have a Jaws of Life I might borrow? |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3947 |
Do we still have our receipt from Herbivores-R-Us? |
1.0000 |
0.00995 |
101 |
101 |
0 |
0 |
3948 |
I tried to get the landlord to spray the place but you know how it is. |
1.0000 |
0.00995 |
101 |
101 |
0 |
0 |
3949 |
Better this than him humping my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.00995 |
101 |
101 |
0 |
0 |
3950 |
It's OK. He just smells my stegosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01015 |
99 |
99 |
0 |
0 |
3951 |
You know how it is when they get their first 40 teeth. |
1.0000 |
0.01015 |
99 |
99 |
0 |
0 |
3952 |
It's not so bad. Cave arrest is so much better than the alternative. |
1.0000 |
0.01015 |
99 |
99 |
0 |
0 |
3953 |
I'm serving the remainder of my sentence under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
3954 |
He has evolution anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00976 |
103 |
103 |
0 |
0 |
3955 |
Another month and the ankle bracelet comes off. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3956 |
Cave arrest bites. |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
3957 |
Yeah, it hurts like hell, but everyone at school has one! |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
3958 |
We’re still working on ‘leave it.’ |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
3959 |
Two months of cave arrest? That bites. |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
3960 |
It costs an arm and a leg to keep him. |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
3961 |
He takes the heel command too literally. |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
3962 |
Domestication is taking longer than I anticipated. |
1.0000 |
0.00995 |
101 |
101 |
0 |
0 |
3963 |
I think we’re making really good progress at establishing me as the Alpha. |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
3964 |
It's only for thirty days and then I do community service. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
3965 |
I can't - I'm still on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
3966 |
He came with the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
3967 |
What would happen if he didn't like me? |
1.0000 |
0.01026 |
98 |
98 |
0 |
0 |
3968 |
He's so attached to me. Can't I keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.01026 |
98 |
98 |
0 |
0 |
3969 |
We're still working on the separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01026 |
98 |
98 |
0 |
0 |
3970 |
On the bright side, I no longer need the leash. |
1.0000 |
0.01026 |
98 |
98 |
0 |
0 |
3971 |
I wish they were extinct already. |
1.0000 |
0.01399 |
72 |
72 |
0 |
0 |
3972 |
It’s been attached to me so for long that I don’t really notice it anymore. |
1.0000 |
0.01290 |
78 |
78 |
0 |
0 |
3973 |
And I’m never buying an As Seen On TV vacuum again. |
1.0000 |
0.00995 |
101 |
101 |
0 |
0 |
3974 |
Three month's cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00995 |
101 |
101 |
0 |
0 |
3975 |
I told her it was over but she just won't let go. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
3976 |
They gave me 3 months of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
3977 |
It’d mean a lot to me if you guys knocked before coming in |
1.0000 |
0.00957 |
105 |
105 |
0 |
0 |
3978 |
He's almost extinct so I give him some slack. |
1.0000 |
0.00957 |
105 |
105 |
0 |
0 |
3979 |
We were playing rock, paper, scissors. |
1.0000 |
0.00957 |
105 |
105 |
0 |
0 |
3980 |
I'm afraid that he has gotten too attached. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
3981 |
As a rescue from Paleolithic, he's still learning how to let go. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
3982 |
He doesn't shed. And you won't have a rat problem. |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
3983 |
That's why I am a cat person. |
1.0000 |
0.01015 |
99 |
99 |
0 |
0 |
3984 |
It's court ordered....I'm on Cave Arrest |
1.0000 |
0.00957 |
105 |
105 |
0 |
0 |
3985 |
I can't wait until they invent a leash. |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
3986 |
Playful and fun as a kid, then teenage hormones--WHOA!--LOOK OUT! |
1.0000 |
0.01183 |
85 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
3987 |
Mom, Dad! He followed me home, can I keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.00939 |
107 |
107 |
0 |
0 |
3988 |
The doctor recommended that I leave it on for a week or so and I'll be as good as new. |
1.0000 |
0.01170 |
86 |
86 |
0 |
0 |
3989 |
Okay, YOU try telling him he shouldn’t exist. |
1.0000 |
0.00930 |
108 |
108 |
0 |
0 |
3990 |
It's called an ankle monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.00995 |
101 |
101 |
0 |
0 |
3991 |
So I was driving down the highway when this tail-gator bit me from behind. |
1.0000 |
0.01070 |
94 |
94 |
0 |
0 |
3992 |
I’m really looking forward to the invention of the ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
3993 |
The ankle monitor comes off next week |
1.0000 |
0.00985 |
102 |
102 |
0 |
0 |
3994 |
Sorry, can’t. Still on parole. |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
3995 |
I posted bail, but they insisted I had to wear this ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
3996 |
I was hoping he'd evolve out of it |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
3997 |
He lets go when I get to ten thousand steps. |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
3998 |
It's a little annoying, but I'm sure he'll evolve out of it. |
1.0000 |
0.00985 |
102 |
102 |
0 |
0 |
3999 |
It was a cave warming gift. |
1.0000 |
0.00985 |
102 |
102 |
0 |
0 |
4000 |
He's got attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.00985 |
102 |
102 |
0 |
0 |
4001 |
His "grrraaaccckkk" is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.00922 |
109 |
109 |
0 |
0 |
4002 |
It measures my vital signs and sends them all to an app. |
1.0000 |
0.01130 |
89 |
89 |
0 |
0 |
4003 |
Only two more months of cave arrest then I'm outta here. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
4004 |
He's a little anxious whenever we have company. |
1.0000 |
0.00976 |
103 |
103 |
0 |
0 |
4005 |
Now can I stay home from school?? |
1.0000 |
0.00976 |
103 |
103 |
0 |
0 |
4006 |
Yeah, so, because I'm a celebrity, I'm only on house arrest and just have to keep this ankle bracelet on for six months. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
4007 |
Feeding him is costing an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.00976 |
103 |
103 |
0 |
0 |
4008 |
Doctor Stonehenge said the treatment would be painless. It must be working because right now I can’t feel my leg... |
1.0000 |
0.00976 |
103 |
103 |
0 |
0 |
4009 |
Our initial thought was separation anxiety. But now we're leaning towards hunger. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4010 |
He came with a password, but I forgot ! |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
4011 |
Just because the Neanderthals have pets doesn’t make it a good idea. |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
4012 |
Fido's new paleo diet's gonna cost me an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
4013 |
He’s become very attached. |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
4014 |
He's due to become extinct next week, but I don't know if I can wait that long. |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
4015 |
Have you seen grandma? |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
4016 |
I didn't choose him. He chose me! |
1.0000 |
0.00976 |
103 |
103 |
0 |
0 |
4017 |
Judge said I can only leave to hunt or gather... |
1.0000 |
0.00851 |
118 |
118 |
0 |
0 |
4018 |
He's into paleo dieting. |
1.0000 |
0.00851 |
118 |
118 |
0 |
0 |
4019 |
I miss my cat. |
1.0000 |
0.00851 |
118 |
118 |
0 |
0 |
4020 |
My parole officer considers me a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
4021 |
The pet store said this breed becomes attached easily. |
1.0000 |
0.01504 |
67 |
67 |
0 |
0 |
4022 |
The problem with pets is that they get so attached to you. |
1.0000 |
0.00669 |
150 |
150 |
0 |
0 |
4023 |
He's pretty calm until I take a shower. |
1.0000 |
0.00810 |
124 |
124 |
0 |
0 |
4024 |
You guys are so Neanderthal. All the kids are wearing them at school. |
1.0000 |
0.00810 |
124 |
124 |
0 |
0 |
4025 |
I should've gotten a saber-tooth, cats are never needy. |
1.0000 |
0.00660 |
152 |
152 |
0 |
0 |
4026 |
Sorry, guys. Can't go out tonight. My wife found out what we did last time. |
1.0000 |
0.00660 |
152 |
152 |
0 |
0 |
4027 |
It looks like I'll be on cave arrest until the trial |
1.0000 |
0.00803 |
125 |
125 |
0 |
0 |
4028 |
I found her on “Ancestry.com” |
1.0000 |
0.00803 |
125 |
125 |
0 |
0 |
4029 |
Cave arrest is such a drag! |
1.0000 |
0.00803 |
125 |
125 |
0 |
0 |
4030 |
I can't find the leash, but we should be okay. |
1.0000 |
0.00803 |
125 |
125 |
0 |
0 |
4031 |
It's called cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00803 |
125 |
125 |
0 |
0 |
4032 |
Spike has attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.00656 |
153 |
153 |
0 |
0 |
4033 |
It's the latest police technology. I'm under cave arrest until further notice. |
1.0000 |
0.00656 |
153 |
153 |
0 |
0 |
4034 |
Don't get one with separation anxiety issues . |
1.0000 |
0.00656 |
153 |
153 |
0 |
0 |
4035 |
Let’s domesticate wolves instead |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4036 |
I don't know what to do about his separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00651 |
154 |
154 |
0 |
0 |
4037 |
Yes, I'm on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00631 |
159 |
159 |
0 |
0 |
4038 |
Yeah, but it hardly sheds... |
1.0000 |
0.00760 |
132 |
132 |
0 |
0 |
4039 |
I've become very attached to the little fellow |
1.0000 |
0.01093 |
92 |
92 |
0 |
0 |
4040 |
I can't find the release button. |
1.0000 |
0.00858 |
117 |
117 |
0 |
0 |
4041 |
I can't wait for them to invent ankle monitors. |
1.0000 |
0.00727 |
138 |
138 |
0 |
0 |
4042 |
Go outside they said, it'll be fun they said... |
1.0000 |
0.00727 |
138 |
138 |
0 |
0 |
4043 |
Sorry I can't leave, I am under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00727 |
138 |
138 |
0 |
0 |
4044 |
I was thinking of naming him Ankylosaurus...but it's already taken,apparently. |
1.0000 |
0.00722 |
139 |
139 |
0 |
0 |
4045 |
Here there be dragons |
1.0000 |
0.00664 |
151 |
151 |
0 |
0 |
4046 |
It’s an existential struggle. |
1.0000 |
0.00717 |
140 |
140 |
0 |
0 |
4047 |
He followed me home....can I keep him ? |
1.0000 |
0.00717 |
140 |
140 |
0 |
0 |
4048 |
I just hope he goes extinct before I do. |
1.0000 |
0.00948 |
106 |
106 |
0 |
0 |
4049 |
The asteroid should be here any minute now. |
1.0000 |
0.00647 |
155 |
155 |
0 |
0 |
4050 |
I fear it will be eons before he's domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.00687 |
146 |
146 |
0 |
0 |
4051 |
I’m not supposed to hurt him. He’s an endangered species. |
1.0000 |
0.00683 |
147 |
147 |
0 |
0 |
4052 |
Well, let's just say, I'm looking forward to teething being over. |
1.0000 |
0.00683 |
147 |
147 |
0 |
0 |
4053 |
It gets clingy when we have company. |
1.0000 |
0.00738 |
136 |
136 |
0 |
0 |
4054 |
I'm afraid you'll have to go gathering without me; I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00733 |
137 |
137 |
0 |
0 |
4055 |
Crocs are in but they kill my ankles |
1.0000 |
0.01325 |
76 |
76 |
0 |
0 |
4056 |
My lawyer is sure they'll remove it after the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
4057 |
He's usually more cuddly. |
1.0000 |
0.00647 |
155 |
155 |
0 |
0 |
4058 |
It's a monitor lizard. I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4059 |
It’s just a love bite. He’s really very friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.00823 |
122 |
122 |
0 |
0 |
4060 |
Have you guys seen my other shoe? |
1.0000 |
0.00647 |
155 |
155 |
0 |
0 |
4061 |
Sorry. He’s a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.00647 |
155 |
155 |
0 |
0 |
4062 |
The vet says it's just a bad case of separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00707 |
142 |
142 |
0 |
0 |
4063 |
I'm waiting for it to become extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.00601 |
167 |
167 |
0 |
0 |
4064 |
To be fair, I did tell him not to bite the 'hand' that feeds him. |
1.0000 |
0.00738 |
136 |
136 |
0 |
0 |
4065 |
It beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. |
1.0000 |
0.00651 |
154 |
154 |
0 |
0 |
4066 |
Obviously, this won't work. Maybe we try dog next. |
1.0000 |
0.00727 |
138 |
138 |
0 |
0 |
4067 |
Do you know how to get rid of bed bugs? |
1.0000 |
0.00727 |
138 |
138 |
0 |
0 |
4068 |
You're sure it's a herbivore? |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4069 |
All I said was get your own dinner for once. |
1.0000 |
0.00722 |
139 |
139 |
0 |
0 |
4070 |
He gets confused when I tell him to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.00722 |
139 |
139 |
0 |
0 |
4071 |
This is Bitey. |
1.0000 |
0.01527 |
66 |
66 |
0 |
0 |
4072 |
House arrest bites. |
1.0000 |
0.00722 |
139 |
139 |
0 |
0 |
4073 |
Sometimes he takes the heel command too literally. |
1.0000 |
0.00635 |
158 |
158 |
0 |
0 |
4074 |
First known incident of somebody saying "he's pulling your leg." |
1.0000 |
0.01143 |
88 |
88 |
0 |
0 |
4075 |
Well I like to think he rescued me. |
1.0000 |
0.00631 |
159 |
159 |
0 |
0 |
4076 |
He's still teething. |
1.0000 |
0.01418 |
71 |
71 |
0 |
0 |
4077 |
You think that hurts? Just wait until they invent high heels. |
1.0000 |
0.00627 |
160 |
160 |
0 |
0 |
4078 |
I only wear the ankle monitor until trial. |
1.0000 |
0.00939 |
107 |
107 |
0 |
0 |
4079 |
I only have to wear it while on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00623 |
161 |
161 |
0 |
0 |
4080 |
Sorry I can't hunt or gather. I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00623 |
161 |
161 |
0 |
0 |
4081 |
This is my Ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.00639 |
157 |
157 |
0 |
0 |
4082 |
My parole officer said I could shower with this one. |
1.0000 |
0.00727 |
138 |
138 |
0 |
0 |
4083 |
It's an Ankle-sore-us. |
1.0000 |
0.00678 |
148 |
148 |
0 |
0 |
4084 |
He suffers from a little separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00615 |
163 |
163 |
0 |
0 |
4085 |
I look just like the mailman. |
1.0000 |
0.00639 |
157 |
157 |
0 |
0 |
4086 |
We're working on his separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.00639 |
157 |
157 |
0 |
0 |
4087 |
They said it's a pre-existing condition. |
1.0000 |
0.00702 |
143 |
143 |
0 |
0 |
4088 |
In retrospect, jail was the better option. |
1.0000 |
0.00635 |
158 |
158 |
0 |
0 |
4089 |
We used to be attached at the hip. |
1.0000 |
0.00635 |
158 |
158 |
0 |
0 |
4090 |
Come on in, and watch your limbs; spot is teething. |
1.0000 |
0.00635 |
158 |
158 |
0 |
0 |
4091 |
It could be worse...he could be humping my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.00631 |
159 |
159 |
0 |
0 |
4092 |
Go figure. The guy at the pet shop said he only ate lettuce. |
1.0000 |
0.00692 |
145 |
145 |
0 |
0 |
4093 |
My profession? I'm a mailman. |
1.0000 |
0.00612 |
164 |
164 |
0 |
0 |
4094 |
...and somehow this is MY fault? |
1.0000 |
0.00687 |
146 |
146 |
0 |
0 |
4095 |
He said the cave painting makes him look fat. |
1.0000 |
0.00957 |
105 |
105 |
0 |
0 |
4096 |
It could be worse. Our last one was a humper. |
1.0000 |
0.00664 |
151 |
151 |
0 |
0 |
4097 |
This time I've really put my foot in it. |
1.0000 |
0.00727 |
138 |
138 |
0 |
0 |
4098 |
He'll be extinct soon. |
1.0000 |
0.00593 |
169 |
169 |
0 |
0 |
4099 |
I still prefer him to a cat. |
1.0000 |
0.00816 |
123 |
123 |
0 |
0 |
4100 |
So nice of you to drop in for a bite. |
1.0000 |
0.00643 |
156 |
156 |
0 |
0 |
4101 |
But he was so playful at the pound. |
1.0000 |
0.00619 |
162 |
162 |
0 |
0 |
4102 |
His name is Izod. |
1.0000 |
0.00772 |
130 |
130 |
0 |
0 |
4103 |
He's a shelter dinosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.00669 |
150 |
150 |
0 |
0 |
4104 |
He's still adjusting to the mammal takeover. |
1.0000 |
0.01047 |
96 |
96 |
0 |
0 |
4105 |
My eyes are up here |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
4106 |
His chew toy rolled under the couch. |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
4107 |
My sentence is ten years or his extinction. Whichever comes first. |
1.0000 |
0.01198 |
84 |
84 |
0 |
0 |
4108 |
I was told it's not the breed, it's the owners. |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
4109 |
“Next time I think I will just draw from memory.’ |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
4110 |
Well, domestication takes several generations. |
1.0000 |
0.00755 |
133 |
133 |
0 |
0 |
4111 |
He's the hunter and I'm the gatherer. |
1.0000 |
0.00881 |
114 |
114 |
0 |
0 |
4112 |
No, it is not house arrest. It is farm to table dinner- if we only had a a table. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4113 |
They're very loyal but tend to only bond with one person. |
1.0000 |
0.00810 |
124 |
124 |
0 |
0 |
4114 |
They say I'm a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.00957 |
105 |
105 |
0 |
0 |
4115 |
I'm under Cave Arrest. One step outside and it eats me. |
1.0000 |
0.00803 |
125 |
125 |
0 |
0 |
4116 |
I'd love to join you, but I'm under house-a-rex. |
1.0000 |
0.00866 |
116 |
116 |
0 |
0 |
4117 |
If his behavior doesn't improve, we'll have to put him up for extinction. |
1.0000 |
0.00797 |
126 |
126 |
0 |
0 |
4118 |
The worst part is when I have to tell Fred & Wilma about this little mishap with their chainsaw. |
1.0000 |
0.00797 |
126 |
126 |
0 |
0 |
4119 |
My leash invention is still in the conceptual stage. |
1.0000 |
0.00797 |
126 |
126 |
0 |
0 |
4120 |
We thought about a dog but we didn't want to be tied down. |
1.0000 |
0.00858 |
117 |
117 |
0 |
0 |
4121 |
I have to wear it on my ankle until my next court appearance. |
1.0000 |
0.00791 |
127 |
127 |
0 |
0 |
4122 |
In a future lifetime, I will be delivering something called "mail". |
1.0000 |
0.00791 |
127 |
127 |
0 |
0 |
4123 |
The vet says he's just teething. |
1.0000 |
0.00784 |
128 |
128 |
0 |
0 |
4124 |
He's not letting go until I admit we do not co-exist historically. |
1.0000 |
0.00830 |
121 |
121 |
0 |
0 |
4125 |
My lawyer says I got off easy with house arrest, given all the stone tablets I leaked. |
1.0000 |
0.00784 |
128 |
128 |
0 |
0 |
4126 |
I got three months house arrest, can you bring me a pepperoni pizza and a small animal for him? |
1.0000 |
0.00791 |
127 |
127 |
0 |
0 |
4127 |
It´s a condition of my house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
4128 |
I’m kind of getting attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.00851 |
118 |
118 |
0 |
0 |
4129 |
A stegosaurus is an *outside* pet, I said. |
1.0000 |
0.00844 |
119 |
119 |
0 |
0 |
4130 |
I can’t seem to get a leg up. |
1.0000 |
0.00844 |
119 |
119 |
0 |
0 |
4131 |
I can't afford to remove it. My health insurance plan doesn't cover prehistoric creatures. |
1.0000 |
0.00844 |
119 |
119 |
0 |
0 |
4132 |
Got anything that isn't quite so tight around the ankles? |
1.0000 |
0.00837 |
120 |
120 |
0 |
0 |
4133 |
As soon as I said "heel" he got it. Still not sure they make the best pets. |
1.0000 |
0.00976 |
103 |
103 |
0 |
0 |
4134 |
Not everything is a Trump joke! |
1.0000 |
0.00830 |
121 |
121 |
0 |
0 |
4135 |
It is NOT my turn. I walked her this morning. |
1.0000 |
0.00830 |
121 |
121 |
0 |
0 |
4136 |
I'm just lucky to still have a leg to stand on |
1.0000 |
0.00778 |
129 |
129 |
0 |
0 |
4137 |
Could you loan me 20 fish? I didn't catch enough to make my "protection" payment this week. |
1.0000 |
0.00966 |
104 |
104 |
0 |
0 |
4138 |
He's having one of his clingy days. |
1.0000 |
0.01274 |
79 |
79 |
0 |
0 |
4139 |
Sorry but I've been under cave arrest and have to wear this monitor lizard until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.00816 |
123 |
123 |
0 |
0 |
4140 |
Please say I can keep him . . . I'm already so attached. |
1.0000 |
0.01036 |
97 |
97 |
0 |
0 |
4141 |
could we not just invent a ball and chain |
1.0000 |
0.00873 |
115 |
115 |
0 |
0 |
4142 |
I got caught painting on walls again. I have to wear this for 30 days. |
1.0000 |
0.01026 |
98 |
98 |
0 |
0 |
4143 |
No matter how much he begs, whatever you do, don't buy a Chompasaurus for your kid. |
1.0000 |
0.00803 |
125 |
125 |
0 |
0 |
4144 |
I was told I'd have to wear it until my trial. |
1.0000 |
0.00858 |
117 |
117 |
0 |
0 |
4145 |
I told you we should have gotten a door. |
1.0000 |
0.01015 |
99 |
99 |
0 |
0 |
4146 |
I'm out, but I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01439 |
70 |
70 |
0 |
0 |
4147 |
I forgot the alarm code. |
1.0000 |
0.00778 |
129 |
129 |
0 |
0 |
4148 |
He gets this way when I'm about to leave for a few days. |
1.0000 |
0.00778 |
129 |
129 |
0 |
0 |
4149 |
I forgot the password. |
1.0000 |
0.00778 |
129 |
129 |
0 |
0 |
4150 |
As you can see, this cave comes with a state-of-the-art security system. |
1.0000 |
0.00743 |
135 |
135 |
0 |
0 |
4151 |
I'd ask if we can keep him but I don't think it matters what you say. |
1.0000 |
0.00803 |
125 |
125 |
0 |
0 |
4152 |
He’s somewhat overprotective. |
1.0000 |
0.00803 |
125 |
125 |
0 |
0 |
4153 |
Ever since I brought him home from the shelter, he's been very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.00738 |
136 |
136 |
0 |
0 |
4154 |
Full grown we expect him to be over 5 tons. |
1.0000 |
0.00738 |
136 |
136 |
0 |
0 |
4155 |
It was the smallest ankle monitor they had. |
1.0000 |
0.00738 |
136 |
136 |
0 |
0 |
4156 |
I'm running a fever and they were out of leeches. |
1.0000 |
0.00733 |
137 |
137 |
0 |
0 |
4157 |
It beats a prison cell. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4158 |
He followed me home! Can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.01081 |
93 |
93 |
0 |
0 |
4159 |
Yeah, I got home detention with a monitor. It's a real pain. |
1.0000 |
0.00948 |
106 |
106 |
0 |
0 |
4160 |
He obviously misunderstood when I said, “Heel!” |
1.0000 |
0.00939 |
107 |
107 |
0 |
0 |
4161 |
Yeah well he's hypoallergenic so that's a plus. |
1.0000 |
0.00939 |
107 |
107 |
0 |
0 |
4162 |
Rescues get so attached. |
1.0000 |
0.00851 |
118 |
118 |
0 |
0 |
4163 |
He's not a carnivore. He just thinks I'm broccoli. |
1.0000 |
0.00712 |
141 |
141 |
0 |
0 |
4164 |
It's for hunting and gathering under the influence. |
1.0000 |
0.00707 |
142 |
142 |
0 |
0 |
4165 |
Can I keep him? He followed me home. He seems hungry. |
1.0000 |
0.00830 |
121 |
121 |
0 |
0 |
4166 |
It's a new thing I'm working on. I call it 'shoe'. |
1.0000 |
0.01307 |
77 |
77 |
0 |
0 |
4167 |
I can't tonight, I'm still under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00687 |
146 |
146 |
0 |
0 |
4168 |
Did I forget to tell you I'm under cave arrest? |
1.0000 |
0.00948 |
106 |
106 |
0 |
0 |
4169 |
He was a great chick magnet until he ate the last one. |
1.0000 |
0.00889 |
113 |
113 |
0 |
0 |
4170 |
Sorry guys I’m under cave arrest until the end of the month. |
1.0000 |
0.00810 |
124 |
124 |
0 |
0 |
4171 |
‘It’s either separation anxiety or I taste like chicken.’ |
1.0000 |
0.00749 |
134 |
134 |
0 |
0 |
4172 |
I'm on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.00778 |
129 |
129 |
0 |
0 |
4173 |
They call it "house arrest." |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4174 |
The upside is he keeps the unit rodent free. |
1.0000 |
0.00772 |
130 |
130 |
0 |
0 |
4175 |
I keep saying "Heel." He keeps hearing "Ankle." |
1.0000 |
0.00772 |
130 |
130 |
0 |
0 |
4176 |
He's got attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.00772 |
130 |
130 |
0 |
0 |
4177 |
Separation anxiety..he knows the Cretaceous Period ends next week |
1.0000 |
0.00772 |
130 |
130 |
0 |
0 |
4178 |
Thank god they've invented the wheel, because I need an ambulance. |
1.0000 |
0.01258 |
80 |
80 |
0 |
0 |
4179 |
This way I don't need a leash. |
1.0000 |
0.00766 |
131 |
131 |
0 |
0 |
4180 |
The breeder said he has "attachment" issues. |
1.0000 |
0.00810 |
124 |
124 |
0 |
0 |
4181 |
Buster knows don’t bite the hand that feeds you, but he’s not good extrapolating. |
1.0000 |
0.00766 |
131 |
131 |
0 |
0 |
4182 |
They determined I was a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.01105 |
91 |
91 |
0 |
0 |
4183 |
Ugg have two more weeks of cave-arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01242 |
81 |
81 |
0 |
0 |
4184 |
All I said was 'fetch'. |
1.0000 |
0.00823 |
122 |
122 |
0 |
0 |
4185 |
He seemed further away. |
1.0000 |
0.00755 |
133 |
133 |
0 |
0 |
4186 |
Guess what happens if I violate the conditions of my parole. |
1.0000 |
0.00755 |
133 |
133 |
0 |
0 |
4187 |
He's on the Paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.00755 |
133 |
133 |
0 |
0 |
4188 |
His bite is worse than his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.00755 |
133 |
133 |
0 |
0 |
4189 |
The staff at the Rescue said he will outgrow the chewing phase in a million years or so. |
1.0000 |
0.00816 |
123 |
123 |
0 |
0 |
4190 |
I’m under cave arrest. He comes off tomorrow. |
1.0000 |
0.00830 |
121 |
121 |
0 |
0 |
4191 |
They make you wear this ankle monitor lizard when your under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4192 |
I said bite me and he took it literally. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
4193 |
It's new. It's called marriage. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
4194 |
Ignore the fleas. They're terrible this time of year. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4195 |
Ask your doctor if Canklesaurus is right for you. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4196 |
Let's go... haven't you seen an ankle monitor before. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4197 |
Thank goodness he's an herbivore! |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4198 |
it's court ordered |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4199 |
It’s the latest in cave-arrest technology. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4200 |
I didn't have a leash. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4201 |
You ought to see him fetch. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4202 |
Look what followed me home. Can I keep it? |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4203 |
He's NOT just in it for the food. My pet loves me! |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4204 |
They call it inter-species attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4205 |
The trick is not minding. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4206 |
It’s just until the trial’s over, they’re putting me under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4207 |
Lovable, but he always has to stick his mouth on my foot. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4208 |
But he followed me home........ |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4209 |
Before there were Pit Bulls to bring into our homes. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4210 |
Dinner! |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4211 |
We can’t figure out what she likes to eat. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4212 |
... and some cavemen still say I'm not a victim of reptile harassment ! |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4213 |
The Special Counsel has me under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4214 |
He's jealous of other people. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4215 |
The judge gave me 6 months cave arrest for riding with intoxicated. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4216 |
It's time to invent kittens. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4217 |
Don't worry, he is a pet |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4218 |
He seems to have gotten very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4219 |
I think you may have invented alligator clamps |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4220 |
The Stegosaurus whisperer I'm not. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4221 |
He seemed further away. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4222 |
I'm going to court next week to get the ankle monitor off. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4223 |
Yeah, the bracelet's a little uncomfortable, but it beats doing time in the slammer. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4224 |
I must have misunderstood when you asked me over for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4225 |
He's taking me out for lunch. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4226 |
He came with the sublet. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4227 |
We thought a rescue pet was the right way to go, but he has issues. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4228 |
It’s a new thing they call a house arrest ankle bracelet. Don’t ask. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4229 |
It's going to be O.K. You have one LEFT |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4230 |
Well, at least he's cavebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4231 |
I hate homonyms. I told the guy at the store I wanted an ankle gaiter. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4232 |
I'm ordered to wear it and stay here at home. Let's just say I shouldn't have been behind that wheel I invented the other night. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4233 |
They say if I wander too far from the cave, the anklet will issue a firm bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4234 |
Me call it "plantiff's attorney". |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4235 |
The white House sent him to keep me from tweeting |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4236 |
Can I keep him? He followed me home. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4237 |
My emotional support animal is filled with rage. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4238 |
They hate to be left alone. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4239 |
The judge added him to my cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4240 |
They promised me my money back if he's not domesticated in 2,000 years. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4241 |
He only bites the one he loves. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4242 |
Yeah, I know, but I have a bigger button. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4243 |
Stop staring! You'll flare up his social anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4244 |
I'm more of a cat person. |
1.0000 |
0.03279 |
31 |
31 |
0 |
0 |
4245 |
He’ll be with me until I pay my student loan. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4246 |
You warned me Lisa. The ones from the Aardvark pound have issues. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4247 |
I look forward to a day when insects are smaller. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4248 |
Even though this is an anachronism, it's still hurting. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4249 |
He's a rescue. The former owners disappeared without a trace. By the way, have you seen my wife lately? |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4250 |
He's become quite attached ever since I brought him home from the shelter. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4251 |
Steg likes leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4252 |
Well then there you have it. You can afford to be judgmental. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4253 |
Inter-specifically speaking, I think we should hold out for a better best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4254 |
He is a very loyal pet at least. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4255 |
Technically, we're compliant with the leash law. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4256 |
I’m hoping it’ll be extinct in the next few days. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4257 |
Separation anxiety. We're still working on letting go. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4258 |
To be on your own. With no direction home. Like a complete unknown. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4259 |
My release was conditioned on paying bail and submitting to cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4260 |
At least I get to serve my time at home |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4261 |
He comes with the unit, but he won't cost you an arm, and a leg to maintain. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4262 |
Please don't tell me you guys haven't heard of 9-1-1. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4263 |
He gets a bit feisty after 5pm. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4264 |
This house arrest thing is a crock! |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4265 |
Grund kiss Girma. Grooga get mad. Made Grund put on ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4266 |
Seriously?? I'm dragging this thing around and still managed to get here on time! |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4267 |
His therapist says it's a phase. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4268 |
He's not fully domesticated yet. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
4269 |
The vet said that she has abandonment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4270 |
How does it notify the police? |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4271 |
This evolution stuff is a bunch of crock. Next thing you know they'll be talking about a ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4272 |
Don't worry, it will eventually die-off |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4273 |
Don't worry: when she's really mad, she bites my head off. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4274 |
Misplaced affection. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4275 |
He just acts like any other puppy. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4276 |
I will tell you the key to life if you tell me how to get rid of hemorrhoids. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4277 |
How do you like my ankle bracelet? |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
4278 |
I'm on house arrest after that bonfire fracas. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4279 |
...On the bright side, he practically walks himself. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4280 |
He's a nice pet and he really doesn't eat much. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4281 |
Don't worry, Spiky is very friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4282 |
Well, it did warn us what would happen if we did the Chicken Dance one more time. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4283 |
He’s been extra needy ever since he accidentally ate Shirley. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4284 |
Maybe this doesn't seem like a healthy relationship to you, but you don't know him like I do. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4285 |
I'm really looking forward to the invention of long pants. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4286 |
It's still got some kinks to work out, but I have a feeling that pets are going to be a big thing in the future! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4287 |
He's too evolved to actually eat me. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4288 |
It only hurts when you laugh. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4289 |
He's grown attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4290 |
I caught a blergl for supper! However I’m going to need some help getting him into a stewpot! |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4291 |
I asked him if he felt like having a shindig. What a crock of shit! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4292 |
It's not so much what he says, it's how he says it. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4293 |
I can't go, I'm afraid. I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4294 |
I got off easy. They only put me on cave arrest after I vandalized the walls. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4295 |
It's not a pet in the strict sense |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4296 |
I’m naming him ballanchain. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4297 |
When we discover iron we'll make a better trap. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4298 |
We're out of sticks now that fire is a thing. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4299 |
He followed me home. Can I keep him, please, please? |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4300 |
Yes, I am feeling a bit slow today. Why do you ask? |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4301 |
Oh - they get very attached. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4302 |
House arrest seemed like a good deal until I saw the ankle device. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4303 |
The early days of House Arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4304 |
It came with the place at no charge. The previous owner just mysteriously disappeared. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4305 |
It is reported in the “Mesozoic Times” that these guys teethe for many years. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4306 |
Get the Jaws of Life. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4307 |
I don't have coverage... |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4308 |
Thou do not have the balls to enter. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4309 |
It's a newish relationship, sure, but I already feel committed. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4310 |
Oh don't worry about her, she gets nervous around guests |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4311 |
It was an ankle bracelet or jail time. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4312 |
Has he had his rabies vaccination? |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4313 |
I forgot the treats,"Heel, Rex!" doesn't work right without 'em. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4314 |
At first I was happy the judge gave me house arrest ... but now, not so much. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4315 |
We used to be joined at the hip, but now he does double-duty as an ankle weight. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4316 |
He followed me home, so I must keep him. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4317 |
He's a rescue from the tar pits. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4318 |
I have to wear this until I make bail. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4319 |
I had my eye on a champion bloodline T-Rex, but the Mrs. thought this little ankle-biter would be easier to manage inside. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4320 |
House arrest gnaws on you after awhile. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4321 |
Sorry I won't be joining you, I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4322 |
It's this new fad called an ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4323 |
I knew it liked me, but i didn't know it was this attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4324 |
He thought we had similar hair styles |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4325 |
The parole board required it. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4326 |
Maybe I should have brought the wolf home with me instead. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4327 |
He's an ankylosaurus and yes, he's aptly named. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4328 |
Don't worry, Lizzie still only has her hatching teeth. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4329 |
I've got him thinking HE is taking ME for a walk. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4330 |
Trog says he's vegetarian but I'm not convinced. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4331 |
The dinosaur whisperer suggested clubbing the bastard. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4332 |
I wanted a Labrador, but Lisa insisted on a non-shedding breed. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4333 |
And he wouldn't have caught me if I had binocular vision. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4334 |
I traded my shells for this new money called Bitcoin |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4335 |
...How do you say “Letgo my lego” in Danish?... |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4336 |
Perhaps we should cross this one off the possible pets list. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
4337 |
Her spike is worse than her bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4338 |
Hang on a minute. I'll have to feed him before I can go. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4339 |
It's nothing, you should have heard it bark |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4340 |
Ultimately, they gave me home detention. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4341 |
And they wonder why they are going extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4342 |
Thank you for listening to my cave security system proposal, and I hope you'll consider investing. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4343 |
He's evolving nicely, but still has some separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4344 |
Fortunately, Rex is not a tyrannosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4345 |
I’ll pass on our lumch date today, girls. This one’s got separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4346 |
They haven't invented the ball and chain yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4347 |
And it comes in a clutch as well. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4348 |
They'll remove it when I'm off probation. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4349 |
He's got a few attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4350 |
How did you get on cave arrest this time Billy? |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4351 |
Thanks for visiting. It's called an "Anklasaurus". After the trial, Judge Cromagnon gave me the choice of this or voting for Trump. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4352 |
Look, it's really no big deal, just 4 more months and I am off of house arrest, and this monitoring bracelet is off for good. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4353 |
I have to wear it as long as I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4354 |
He’s getting pretty attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4355 |
I forgot the password for the security system. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4356 |
I guess we can keep him. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4357 |
And I also had to surrender my passport. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4358 |
It seems as if his separation anxiety is getting worse. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4359 |
This new ‘cave-arrest’ prototype is very aggressive. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4360 |
Get out while you can--his bark is worse than his bite! |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4361 |
Son, we're putting you on cave arrest |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4362 |
Would love to join, but I'm on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4363 |
He wants to take me home. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4364 |
I'm working on domestication. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4365 |
Stop debating --yank the tail ! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4366 |
My lawyer says I am lucky to be under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4367 |
I kept removing the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4368 |
Well... you know...he was a rescue!!! |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4369 |
It's called a 'logo'. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4370 |
Yea well...it's better than what your reptile does to me when I walk in the door. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4371 |
If we put our heads together I’m sure we can figure out an easier way to take him for a walk. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4372 |
Yes, I know, as ankle monitors go, it's a bit uncomfortable... |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4373 |
He saw my veganism as a sign of weakness. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4374 |
She prefers hold-on-tight to troglodyte. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4375 |
How does he know that I'm a Neanderthal Mailman? |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4376 |
The vet said ankle-biting is normal for baby stegosauruses. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4377 |
Don't worry - he's just pulling my leg! |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4378 |
I know - I spoil the kids. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4379 |
Anyone have a cro-magnon bar? |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4380 |
Something keeps holding me back. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4381 |
Cave arrest requires an ankylosaurus monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4382 |
That DUI got me three months of home confinement. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4383 |
I can't figure out what's gnawing at me |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4384 |
Where did you get that ankle bracelet? |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4385 |
It just wants attention. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4386 |
I'm still working on this domestication thing. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4387 |
I have an appointment with the Dinosaur Whisperer next week. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4388 |
You really should stop going down the road less travelled. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4389 |
My psychiatrist says I need to stay grounded. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4390 |
So the Judge said I'm only allowed to leave the cave between 9am and 5pm. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4391 |
If he evolves to be man's best friend, I'll be a monkey's uncle. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4392 |
Sorry, we just had to run faster than you... |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4393 |
I’m training her to hunt. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
4394 |
If you think he's undomesticated wait until you meet the Mrs. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
4395 |
I might be going a little overboard with the probiotics. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4396 |
I thought they were vegan's? |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4397 |
Yep. Every time I say "asteroid".... |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4398 |
It was either go to jail or wear one of these. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4399 |
I'm on house arrest for some cave graffiti |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4400 |
We're still working on the 'best friend' part. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4401 |
He doesn't feel that domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4402 |
This is what happens when you wait in a No Standing Zone. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4403 |
My parole officer says I can take it off in three months. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4404 |
The company alarm system always goes off before I can get out the door after entering the code. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4405 |
I think that Rex's weight lose resolution is making him a bit hungry and irritable. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4406 |
It's called 'house arrest.' |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4407 |
It's a animal skin clutch. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4408 |
I'm still cave training him. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4409 |
I'm hoping it bit off more than it can chew. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4410 |
He's very attached to me, but I think he will evolve out of it. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4411 |
He followed me home.... can I pleeeeze keep him ? |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4412 |
With good behavior I get it off in two weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
4413 |
I hope you have cave owners insurance |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4414 |
He has separation anxiety whenever he thinks I'm leaving the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
4415 |
"Make my day" my ass. Leg-traps are illegal and I'm going to sue you. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4416 |
I can't leave the cave while I'm wearing this ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
4417 |
Except for the neediness, it’s a wonderful companion. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4418 |
Fortunately my lawyer got me out on home monitoring. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4419 |
Yeah, I've got my attorney appealing it, but I don't think i'll have a leg to stand on. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4420 |
He's a rescue and in the short time we've had him he's become quite attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4421 |
I don't recommend the local Adopt-a-Pet Society. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4422 |
House arrest is okay except for the ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4423 |
I got off easy with probation, but they make me wear this stupid ankle bracelet |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4424 |
He followed me home, can I eat him? |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
4425 |
The judge said it's from the Martha Stewart collection. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4426 |
Things kind of went to hell when I tried to teach him to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4427 |
Can you remember, use tweezers or a flame? Just don't break off the head, right? |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4428 |
You told me to bring home dinner. You didn't tell me how to catch it. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4429 |
I don't know, we just clicked. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4430 |
Are either of you up for a quick bite? |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4431 |
He's been down right aggressive. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4432 |
The old ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4433 |
It's called a tattoo. Everybody's getting them. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4434 |
I'd like to invest in your security company. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4435 |
Cave arrest really bites... |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4436 |
The rescue folks implied that he had an abusive past. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4437 |
"I'm training him to "Heel". |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4438 |
They say it’s more about training ‘me’. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4439 |
I'm sure he'd be even friendlier if he became vegetarian. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4440 |
We're still house training him, but at least he keeps the neighbors away |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4441 |
Mom always said you can’t cancel a dinner party invite last minute. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4442 |
Remember 'Skip It'? |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4443 |
Rex's Paleo Diet is a drag. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4444 |
....It's better than 30 days in the slammer! |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4445 |
He's still being cave-trained. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4446 |
We are planning to marry. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4447 |
One year house arrest or extinction, whichever comes first. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4448 |
It's okay, she used to be attached at the hip. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4449 |
Sorry guys. I'm on cave arrest for another 90 days. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4450 |
We tried a Dinosaur Whisperer but it didn't work. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4451 |
He’s part Razorback. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4452 |
Sorry, I can’t join you. I’m confined to house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4453 |
I thought you were just pulling my leg |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4454 |
It's a wheel lock. I'm grounded for a week. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4455 |
I’m teaching Org to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4456 |
The Smart Home Security System still needs some work. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4457 |
What alligator? Are you pulling my leg again? |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4458 |
Poor thing is teething. Isn't he adorable? |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4459 |
He may get peckish if dinner’s late. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4460 |
When it comes to accessorizing, I'm never sure how much is too much. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4461 |
She thinks that she is affectionate but I view her as co-dependant. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4462 |
He's so attached to me...I can't go anywhere without him! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4463 |
Life before the unfriend option. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4464 |
I wanted a dog. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4465 |
...thankfully, I'm able to afford 'cave-arrest'. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4466 |
We are both having a little separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4467 |
Sorry I can't go to the party, my house arrest started today. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4468 |
At least your new pet Dino didn't jump up on me! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4469 |
It's the new law enforcement ankle bracelet for homebound offenders. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4470 |
They went easy on me -- I'm only under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4471 |
The ball and chain is staying home tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4472 |
My lawyer got me in-house probation. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4473 |
30 days - I’m feeling lucky it was just the leg bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4474 |
It slows you down a bit, but animal anklets are going to be huge this spring! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4475 |
Ankle bracelets - the next big thing! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4476 |
Don't worry, he's just trying to be friendly! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4477 |
So this is what home arrest is like |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4478 |
Only 59 more days of house arrest, then I get the ankle bracelet off. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4479 |
And people think monkeys on their backs are bad... |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4480 |
Let us just say he caught me by surprise. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4481 |
Don't worry he only bites. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4482 |
I'm under "cave arrest" but just until the trial gets underway. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4483 |
And, I have to do 200 hours of community service. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4484 |
It’s the latest in ankle monitors |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4485 |
I have this knowing feeling someone's pulling my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4486 |
Maybe 'heal' isn't the best command word. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4487 |
It's part of my early release agreement. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4488 |
This cave arrest ankle bracelet really sucks. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4489 |
I have to wear it until the Grand Jury. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4490 |
My doctor said it would help with shin splints |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4491 |
He's been quite needy since I lost his stick. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4492 |
We've become attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4493 |
It makes me forget my headache. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4494 |
The obedience training still has a ways to go... |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4495 |
It's a pain but it sure beats jail time! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4496 |
It's called "home dentition." If I go outside he bites. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4497 |
That's the last time I make fun of his monocle. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4498 |
I'm grounded. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4499 |
I have to wear this for three months, and then I have a year of probation. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4500 |
The judge told me I have to wear this house arrest ankle bracelet until it goes extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4501 |
Yeah, doc says I've got what they call a "dino-sore" on my right leg. Could be awhile 'til it heals. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4502 |
The vet said it was best to let him express himself. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4503 |
But we offer a bed bug-free guarantee. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4504 |
The last stand of Ankleosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4505 |
I am under house arrest and I have to wear an ankle bracelet |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4506 |
The vet insists it's separation anxiety |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4507 |
I’m calling it ‘Fit Bit.’ |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4508 |
I could go but something is holding me back. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4509 |
The vet said he's just teething and he'll grow out of it. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4510 |
The judge allows me to take it off when I shower. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4511 |
It's a house arrest leg bracelet, why do you ask? |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4512 |
Yes, it hurts. But my insurance won't cover attachment disorders. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4513 |
What can I say, he followed me home? |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4514 |
He’s a little clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4515 |
That guy Plato never mentioned there'd be alligators in the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4516 |
I hope you have homeowners insurance. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4517 |
Pets today are much tamer than during the Paleolithic; those would swallow you whole. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4518 |
I have to wear it because I'm a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4519 |
We better increase the reservation from 3 to 4. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4520 |
I’m sorry guys, can’t leave home. Damn ankle monitor!!! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4521 |
Yeah, I accidentally left my door not invented yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4522 |
I thought you said you’re Aquilops doesn’t bite” “That’s not our Aquilops |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4523 |
"He's going through the terrible twos". |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4524 |
Look. I can handle an ankle bracelet for three months. No biggie. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4525 |
Don't worry, it's just a clip-on |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4526 |
She's not cave-broken yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4527 |
I'm glad she only has her baby teeth! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4528 |
The police say I have to wear it until my trial. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4529 |
I know I should've asked first if I could bring him home. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4530 |
The good news is I caught dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4531 |
Quick! Invent the Jaws of Life! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4532 |
They said it would cost an arm and a leg to feed him. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4533 |
I believe there was a mix-up with my Crocs order. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4534 |
He'll stop teething soon. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4535 |
I think it's a sign of affection. By the way,have you seen my wife and kids anywhere? |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4536 |
According to the current food chain, he’s exhibiting acceptable behavior. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4537 |
It's so I can't put my foot in my mouth anymore. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4538 |
I know you told me not to get attatched... |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4539 |
Coexistence bites |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4540 |
I can't leave the cave tonight, boys, my parole officer stuck me with this ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4541 |
I was having trouble staying grounded. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4542 |
These pure-breads can be a little temperamental. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4543 |
He's still a little rough on the "heel" command. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
4544 |
He has some separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4545 |
He’s pulling my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4546 |
Can we please keep him!!! |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4547 |
And that's why rent is so low here. I should really stop ending the cave tour with this. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4548 |
I'm taking him to the dentist. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4549 |
At least he’s housebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4550 |
He's a great little mouser, but sometimes he goes for calves. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4551 |
He’s a rescue. We think he was abandoned. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4552 |
It's the hot accessory for 9321 BC |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4553 |
I'm weaning him. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4554 |
Soon as newspaper is invented I am going to roll one up and let him have it! |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4555 |
He's rethinking his vegetarian lifestyle. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
4556 |
I was teaching him to "heel". |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
4557 |
Interspecies relationships are difficult, but she's very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4558 |
We're thinking of calling it an 'Ankle-o'-Tsuris.' |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4559 |
When he's tame, he'll fetch a stick. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4560 |
It helps keep track of how many steps I take |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4561 |
The judge is letting me out of my cave, as long as I keep this on my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4562 |
He doesn’t bite...hard. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4563 |
I get this off in six months, but I’ll never be allowed to own a spear. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4564 |
He won't be happy until you paint him |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4565 |
It's a new 'House Arrest' procedure. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4566 |
House arrest isn't so bad. It's like having a pet. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4567 |
There's gotta be a better way. I'm thinking of inventing the alarm clock. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4568 |
I've got an idea for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4569 |
It was either stay in jail or wear the stegosaurus until trial. |
1.0000 |
0.03390 |
30 |
30 |
0 |
0 |
4570 |
He always seems to sense when I'm getting ready to go somewhere. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4571 |
He's clinging to the past. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4572 |
They put me on cave arrest so I have to wear this tracking device. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4573 |
I want to keep him. He's really attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4574 |
House arrest is not so bad, but the ankle bracelet is a little uncomfortable. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4575 |
He isn’t cave broken yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4576 |
Sorry, can't go. I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4577 |
It's just the usual separation anxiety |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4578 |
Our relationship is evolving. I think he wants to be my best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4579 |
Uncomfortable? Sure, but it beats getting sent back to rehab. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4580 |
He wants to come home with me. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4581 |
I'd love to but I'm still under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4582 |
His therapist says crushing his primitive instincts could lead to future problems |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4583 |
I bet this never happened to Fred Flintstone |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4584 |
It came with the apartment. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4585 |
He's thinks I stole his other eye. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4586 |
He just may have understood the word extinction |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4587 |
This home comes with security. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4588 |
What do you think--build a better mousetrap? |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4589 |
He thinks he's a guardvark. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4590 |
Ankle monitor lizard. He's fine, as long as I don't leave the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4591 |
It's a labradosaur, they chew but they don't shed |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4592 |
I think he likes me. He followed me home |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4593 |
My niece calls it an aunteater. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4594 |
He's only partially cave trained. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4595 |
I hereby call to order this emergency meeting of the Domestication Club. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4596 |
Can I keep him? He followed me home. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4597 |
We thought he’d leave after eating the furniture. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4598 |
He's very anti-social. He does this everytime I have company over. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4599 |
Does he have his rabies shot? |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
4600 |
I think he wants me to draw his picture. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4601 |
It's called prehistoric love. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4602 |
No, he's misunderstood. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4603 |
The guy said it would improve home security. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4604 |
Is it any wonder why this breed is called legasaurus? |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4605 |
It's nothing a little ice can't take care of. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4606 |
Trust me, it's better than what he was doing to the other leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4607 |
Its the ankle bracelet I always wanted |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4608 |
We both suffer from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4609 |
You can tell by the way that he's biting my leg that he is an al-leg-gator. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4610 |
The cops say if I try to take it off, I will go to jail. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4611 |
They gave me house arrest, but I'm aloud to visit the zoo. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4612 |
Luckily the court only ordered me to wear this ankle monitor for a few weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
4613 |
He's not quite cavebroken yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4614 |
I keep warning you! No depth perception is placing us all in danger! |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4615 |
It's early days, but we are still working on who is the predator and who is lunch. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4616 |
One of my parole restrictions. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4617 |
Well, it started when my husband asked me if I wanted to play fetch with the dog... |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4618 |
Thanks for bringing him home officer |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4619 |
When you said I'd become attached to the place... |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4620 |
On sale at Petcave. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4621 |
The Judge says I have to wear this ankle bracelet for three more weeks |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4622 |
When his baby teeth are gone that's it. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
4623 |
Why don’t we get a saber toothed kitty instead? |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4624 |
The judge put me on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4625 |
They let me off with house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4626 |
I’m no longer willing to care for this beast while you’re away! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4627 |
I shouldn’t have told him I was getting my own cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4628 |
Would you believe I just went out for a bite? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4629 |
I’m under house arrest until my court date. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4630 |
I have to wear him until my trial date on the next solstice. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4631 |
Not only that, but he roars if I leave my cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4632 |
He followed me home....can I keep him ? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4633 |
We're still working on his resource guarding. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4634 |
This would make a great subject for a wall painting |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4635 |
It's to keep me from going shopping. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4636 |
I take it you've seen our Web site. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4637 |
Yeah, house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4638 |
I'd love to join you but I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4639 |
Do you know any good jokes? Otherwise you’ll just have to tickle him. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4640 |
He'll let go if I give him some Gatorade |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4641 |
She's just expressing anxiety about the continuing existence of her species. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4642 |
you guys go ahead and get seated; I’ll sort out the check here |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4643 |
I don't know. He's been acting wierd ever since that giant meteor hit. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4644 |
Darn! I was hoping to leave behind an intact skeleton. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4645 |
I should have known to call the exterminator, before creating my man cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4646 |
I am confident that the mailman-pet relationship will improve in the future. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4647 |
....3 months-he’s still teething. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4648 |
The judge only gave me house arrest, which is better then prison. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4649 |
I can't go out. I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4650 |
They told me it is a petting zoo. It is not. Please call me an Ambulance |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4651 |
Dude, what if in like the future . . . everything has two eyes? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4652 |
I mean, he does bite, but he doesn't have rabies, so there's that, ya know?! |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4653 |
I call it "aversion therapy." |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4654 |
These leg-hold traps need to be outlawed. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4655 |
My wife misunderstood me when I said that I'd love for us to have a little ankle-biter. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4656 |
Oh, I've seen this one plenty - textbook case of over-attachment. Or predator's instinct. One of those two. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4657 |
There's always one in every office- right? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4658 |
Thanks, but I think I’ll skip bowling tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4659 |
Our fetch trick is almost there. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4660 |
They're not as cute and cuddly as the drawing made them out to be. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4661 |
He thinks I'm his mother. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4662 |
I got paroled to home confinement. |
1.0000 |
0.06063 |
17 |
17 |
0 |
0 |
4663 |
The judge made this a condition of my parole. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4664 |
He want's to share the cave and will split the rent. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4665 |
She doesn't like the name "Pussykins." |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4666 |
What do you mean no pets allowed? |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4667 |
we're going to need to use our heads to control these things! |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4668 |
It's only his "teething" phase. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4669 |
Yes, Wilma, it’s new house arrest technology. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4670 |
Yeah, I got a new peg-leg last week. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4671 |
It turns out that I need a fenced-in yard to adopt a dog. So... |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4672 |
It's called a Raptor-Round-The-Ankle. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4673 |
I really hope these ankle braces get better over time! |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4674 |
I have to walk it twice a day, as per the terms of my cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4675 |
My P.O. says I only have two more weeks and it can come off. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4676 |
On the plus side the rescue shelter waived the adoption fee |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4677 |
He hasn’t been quite the same since the kids were here over the Holidays. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4678 |
House arrest, I got caught drawing on the walls of the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4679 |
The teething thing is always challenging, but I know he will make a good pet for your cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4680 |
I forgot to pay a standing ticket and Officer Gorg put a Stegosaurus lock on me |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4681 |
It's the newest knee brace technology, helps provide support and get rid of knee pain. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4682 |
For the last time, Carl - peeing on my leg won't help. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4683 |
Soon, he'll be 'cave broken'1 |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4684 |
He's housebroken, that's how he lets me know he needs to go out. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4685 |
Like my new anklet? |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4686 |
We've become attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02899 |
35 |
35 |
0 |
0 |
4687 |
Don't worry, the guy at the store says he won't get any bigger. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4688 |
I wish someone would invent "Fetch!" |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
4689 |
It's called a cat, C-A-T. It's unfriendly and its smelly pee will wind up on everything we invent to put inside our cave. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4690 |
I got six months home arrest with ankle bracelet. It totally bites! |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4691 |
Both his parents were prize biters. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4692 |
He doesn’t want me to leave. It’s called separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4693 |
I thought they all died out 65 million years ago. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
4694 |
This house arrest is certainly a drag! |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4695 |
"I will come hunting with you as soon as I get off house arrest". |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4696 |
The judge gave me the option of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4697 |
It’s called an ankle minotaur. I’m required to wear it until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4698 |
Cave arrest isn't so bad, but the ankle bracelet is a real drag. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4699 |
House arrest isn’t that bad, except for the ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4700 |
Giving up Pterodactyls for Lent has made him a little jumpy. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4701 |
I'm under cave arrest. I burned the brontoburgers again. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4702 |
The vet says he's only going to get worse with age. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4703 |
Was it you do or you don't have to be the fastest? |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4704 |
See? Still not ticklish. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4705 |
Well, at least it's more loving than my last boyfriend who was a horrible misogynist AND a Trump supporter! |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4706 |
I have an idea for a way to catch animals. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4707 |
We've been attached to each other for years. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4708 |
You think this hurts, breast feeding was much worse |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4709 |
I’m sure the seller would kick in something toward an exterminator at the closing. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4710 |
Obviously, he’s a rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
4711 |
I can't wait until this species becomes extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
4712 |
He suffers from a bit of separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
4713 |
They determined I was a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4714 |
I'd really like to keep him, but I'm worried about enlarging my carbon footprint. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4715 |
I didn't understand when the breeder said it could get attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4716 |
I lost the remote. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4717 |
They said they ran out of ball and chains. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4718 |
Sorry, I have to cancel our plans. His separation anxiety is worse than I thought. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4719 |
"Hi! What's your names?" CHOMP, CHOMP. (from Adam, 7 years old) "Why do our faces have to look like tasty chickens?" (From Alana, 10 years old) |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4720 |
Thanks for coming to visit while I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4721 |
I figured it was too obvious to be a real trap! |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4722 |
It’s my new live ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4723 |
All the pet adoption agency had was him or a T-Rex. This made sense at the time. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4724 |
There’s no such thing as a bad stegosaurus, just a bad owner. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4725 |
If I survive teething he should make for a good pet! |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4726 |
My new home security device needs just a little tweaking. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4727 |
Mom and Dad, meet the old ball and chain! |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4728 |
Actually, she's quite tame. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4729 |
I'm under house arrest till the third moon of 620 |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4730 |
The vet says he's just teething. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4731 |
I called him an anachronism. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4732 |
I have to wear him as part of my work release. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4733 |
The only time I'm aware of the ankle monitor is when he gnaws at feeding time. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4734 |
I had a gnawing need for a pet. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4735 |
My wife's idea of an emotional support animal. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4736 |
I keep hoping we'll evolve past this paradigm. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4737 |
Fine, I concede that this idea of having a 'pet' at home might be a couple of hundred thousand years early. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4738 |
It's this daily grind that gets to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4739 |
Its OK - I just got house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4740 |
This doesn't even introduce a coup de grace to our bond. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4741 |
I think it likes me. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4742 |
Amazon delivered it from the Amazon and now I can't return it. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4743 |
It's nothing, really. His bark is worse than his bite! |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4744 |
I told her my parents wanted me to find someone interested in my mind. She promised she'd get there. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4745 |
These critters only eat BLT's. Bacon, legs and tomato. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4746 |
If we spin this correctly, this could turn into a footwear brand. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4747 |
Meet my service stegosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4748 |
She's ready for dinner |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4749 |
Thank God, they are still his puppy teeth. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4750 |
My wife wanted a ferret and I wanted a T Rex. We compromised. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4751 |
It hurts at first but eventually you get used to it. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4752 |
It’s called the Manafort ankle bracelet because history is going to repeat itself. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4753 |
No, they make great pets. They help lower your blood pressure. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4754 |
Her name is Alexa. She just needs to learn a few more voice commands. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4755 |
The current tenant will be not be an issue. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4756 |
It was court-ordered...the judge thought I was a fight-or-flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4757 |
You should see its mother. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4758 |
I dun' know ... separation anxiety? |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4759 |
It's a kind of love. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4760 |
I'll be frank with you, I find it to be nuisance. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4761 |
#MeToo |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4762 |
He has attachment issue |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4763 |
The judge said it should come off in about six months. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4764 |
The judge called it house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4765 |
Can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4766 |
It’s a new thing called cave-arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4767 |
Jim says it’s just an attachment phase. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4768 |
Thanks for coming over. This house arrest is a real pain. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4769 |
Tell me, have they invented pain killers yet? |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4770 |
His mother abandoned him before he was hatched. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4771 |
The wife wanted a saber-toothed tiger, but I’m allergic |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
4772 |
She said she was an ankle biter so I swiped right... |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4773 |
It’s the latest fad! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4774 |
I'll hold it, you guys get the clubs... |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4775 |
He's cute, but has some attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4776 |
We mustn't judge. If we were going extinct we'd hold on for dear life also! |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4777 |
i guess my letter carrying training is complete. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4778 |
Domesticating the wolf was easy so I thought I'd go for more of a challenge. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4779 |
The judge thinks I'm a flight risk. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4780 |
That's why I call him 'Draggin'. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4781 |
He must have heard us talking about tax shelters. Now he just won't let go. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4782 |
Remember when I said that depth perception is overrated? Well... |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4783 |
I got the other one off, but ran out of dental floss. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4784 |
The judge says I'm a flight risk |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4785 |
We should probably switch back to the high protein mix. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4786 |
That’s great that he comes when you call; but I think he’s still attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4787 |
He'll grow out of it. He thinks he's a crocodile. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4788 |
This has been my longest relationship and honestly, I think there’s potential... |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4789 |
I'd love to go but I'm still under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4790 |
I love him. He's cave-broken but he gnaws everything. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4791 |
It’s my PO’s idea! |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4792 |
Do I look fat with this creature latched onto my leg? |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4793 |
He's adamant that I accept our co-existence. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4794 |
Yes it's painful. But it's the only way I can get him to go out for a walk. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4795 |
He's so affectionate. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4796 |
I love him dearly, but he may need a few more obedience classes. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4797 |
She calls it marriage. I call it house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
4798 |
It's only for another six months. After that I get my lending privileges back. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4799 |
Gotta to keep this thing on my ankle 'til I'm off cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4800 |
They gave me cave arrest. I have to wear this thing until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4801 |
He's afraid I'll go extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4802 |
yes, he thinks he runs the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4803 |
George stepped in the trap again. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4804 |
I know, he's just an ankle biter, but I caved in. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4805 |
What's the name of your dog? |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4806 |
I think he's really starting to like me. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4807 |
he's always been a leg man |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4808 |
It's not house arrest or even the ankle cuff that bothers me as much as it is the saliva. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4809 |
Oh, it's you...I thought I was seeing double from the pain... |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4810 |
"His bark is worse than his bite", I just thought of it |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4811 |
He gets very anxious and possessive every morning when he hears the garage door open |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4812 |
No biggie--he's just teething. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4813 |
Ok, sometimes he bites |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4814 |
My wife placed me under cave arrest until she gets back from her mother's next week. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4815 |
anyway , we were playing ,you put your right foot in ... |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4816 |
I'm afraid I can't join you today, my dear little pet suffers from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4817 |
I got him for emotional support, now he's having a hard time letting go |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4818 |
Ball 'n' chainasaur |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4819 |
I know, but they haven't invented leashes yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4820 |
My wife says it's a dog. . . Don't think it's registered with the Cave Kennel Club. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4821 |
Dino unfortunately has developed a mild case of 'separation anxiety'. |
1.0000 |
0.03637 |
28 |
28 |
0 |
0 |
4822 |
Ah, but you see "Komodo Dragon" is all the rage for the Spring Collections! |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4823 |
He's always so happy to see me when I get home.. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4824 |
We really do need to build a better mousetrap. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4825 |
I think I will call him "Ankle-o-sore-us." |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4826 |
Invention of the leash |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4827 |
I'm not sure who's domesticated whom. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4828 |
HR just said, 'Boys will be boys!' and that there's nothing they can do about it. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4829 |
It's really hard to train a baby Stegosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4830 |
I hear 2.0 has facial recognition |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4831 |
I broke up with her gently, but she's having a hard time letting go. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4832 |
The trouble with any of these BNBs is the pets you have to put up with. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4833 |
It's not as bad as a tiger by the tail |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4834 |
I'm not saying he's trained. I'm not saying he's friendly. But you'll never find a baby Dacentrurus with more potential. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4835 |
They call it a scram bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4836 |
He can't bear the thought we won't be fossilized together. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4837 |
I think I need a bandaid. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4838 |
Cave arrest for three months, but I can lose the Ankylosaurus in two. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4839 |
Very possessive, but got rid of my husband..I will let you borrow her if you like. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4840 |
It was either wear the ankle monitor, or jail.... |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4841 |
We're working on his attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4842 |
Yes, normally I would get an Uber. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4843 |
Heel is his favorite command. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4844 |
I tried to turn him into a vegetarian. It’s his revenge. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4845 |
"Fish oil will do wonder for your skin," they said. "Trust us," they said. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4846 |
He's not like me. He's a leg man. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4847 |
It's just while I'm on parole. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4848 |
He's my new teacup Stegosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
4849 |
Yes it hurts, but "cave arrest" still beats the alternative |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
4850 |
And that's why it's called a "MyLegIsSore-aus" |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4851 |
Now that we've visited the petting zoo, anyone up for the 3-legged race? |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4852 |
I'll take him out to play Fetch somewhere—I'm thinking over by La Brea. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4853 |
The judge said I was lucky just to get away with a tracker |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4854 |
As Neanderthals we must strictly hew to our policy of passive resistance. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4855 |
It's been like this since I brought him home from the Shelter |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4856 |
I forgot you had a Chihuahuasaurus...does he like to play fetch? |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4857 |
Yeah, just eight more weeks of cave-arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4858 |
He's become attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4859 |
Can you believe it? I get booted for walking 5mph in a 2mph zone. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4860 |
She's taking me out for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4861 |
Yes, it's an ankle monitor. I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4862 |
Please let me keep him. He’s very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
4863 |
I thought it was excema at first. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4864 |
How do you like our new security system? |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4865 |
Have you seen my wife? |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4866 |
Your telling me that dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years is not helping my situation. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4867 |
It’s an ankle monitor for rolling a wheel under the influence. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4868 |
My Wife doesn't think they can be domesticated so I'm going to try a wolf pup. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4869 |
He followed me home, so I kept him. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
4870 |
Obedient training was a waste. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4871 |
We're still working through the separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4872 |
By guesses as to how opposable thumbs might get me out of this one? |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4873 |
House arrest is bad enough, but this ankle device has a real mean streak. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4874 |
I can't really leave, but I've dropped like 20 fire tapes. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4875 |
I do not think we will see him anymore for Grog drew the short straw and his anklet monitor was a T-Rex. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4876 |
After I serve my one year probation they'll remove the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4877 |
I'm under home confinement until the trial and have to wear the ankle shackle. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4878 |
Who needs Obamacare, am I right? |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4879 |
I think my pre-Achilles tendinitis is acting up. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
4880 |
I’d go but I’m on house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4881 |
He gets bad separation anxiety |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4882 |
I'm not sure who is domesticating who? |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
4883 |
I’m on house arrest. Judge’s order. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
4884 |
She got sick of the ball and chain jokes, so for Christmas I got this. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
4885 |
This new type of ankle monitor has a bad temper. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4886 |
Found him abandoned on a Tokyo movie set. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
4887 |
I think it’s time to take him to the dinosaur whisperer for some obedience training. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4888 |
It’s a condition of my parole. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4889 |
House arrest is a real drag. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4890 |
I think she wants a Forever Home. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4891 |
It's this new thing called 'Probation.' |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4892 |
It’s a housearrestosaurus |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4893 |
I've named it Facebook. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4894 |
Until my parole is done, I can't leave home without my ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4895 |
The judge put me on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4896 |
The judge said I have to wear it while I'm out on bail. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4897 |
Sure it's a lot of responsibility, but it's worth it for all the love you get in return. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4898 |
My parole officer said I have to wear one. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4899 |
He gets clingy around strangers |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4900 |
They were out of the small size ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4901 |
Do you like my new ankle bracelet? It's from Lacoste |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4902 |
Yes it hurts, but with my Emotional Support Animal, there are so many perks and no one will sit next to me on the village transport cart. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4903 |
Apparently, it's on the Paleo Diet. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4904 |
Fine, maybe we should domesticate wolves instead. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4905 |
Sorry I can’t come out. He has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4906 |
Papyrus, rock, scissors. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4907 |
Sorry, can't party. House arrest |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
4908 |
I can't wait until we invent language so I can tell him to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
4909 |
I can't afford to have it removed. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4910 |
He is a bit of an ankle biter but he doesn't shed. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4911 |
I call it a fitbit-asaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4912 |
My neighbor Ivanka says it's the 'must have' accessory of the year. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
4913 |
Feeding him is costing an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
4914 |
The vet says it's a bad case of separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
4915 |
Yep. He's a pedigreed ankylosaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
4916 |
Crocs seemed like a good idea two years ago. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4917 |
Enough with the wheel -- invent obedience training! |
1.0000 |
0.04256 |
24 |
24 |
0 |
0 |
4918 |
I think I figured out its mating call |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4919 |
Yes, it hurts. But it's the latest in fashion. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4920 |
I still don’t know why you got this thing; you have nothing to steal. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4921 |
I'm feeling really vulnerable these days. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4922 |
Truth be told--this new field of animal domestication is somewhat 'trial and error'. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4923 |
Truthfully, it's the stigma of being under cave arrest that stings the most. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4924 |
His bite is bigger than his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4925 |
All I said was"Heel, Spike"! |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4926 |
He's very possessive of anything that looks like food. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
4927 |
We were working on not biting the hand that feeds him, but he switched to the leg that walks him. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
4928 |
She's a real man eater. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4929 |
He is not that great now, but could evolve. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4930 |
Lucky for me, the judge granted me house arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
4931 |
I can't wait for dogs to evolve. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
4932 |
He's always been attached. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4933 |
If I behave it'll come off in 6 months |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4934 |
He has an attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
4935 |
It will be removed once the probation period ends. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4936 |
The regular ball and chain wasn't working. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4937 |
It's worse--he ate my dog. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4938 |
It only hurts when I move. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4939 |
They might be stylish, but I don't find alligator shoes all that comfortable. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
4940 |
How long until this whole vegan trend catches on? |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
4941 |
His barking is much worse. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
4942 |
I thought he was a rug but he was just sleeping. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4943 |
They cuffed me and put me on house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4944 |
In a million years we'll call them dogs. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4945 |
The vet says it's just till he's through teething. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4946 |
Sorry, I can't come. I'm still under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4947 |
Achilles gets very testy when he thinks I'm going out without him. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4948 |
The vet says it's separation anxiety. the Xanax seems to be helping. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4949 |
It's Called A Shoe. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4950 |
It's an Ankylosaurus. They're all the rage. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4951 |
It was either that or a nose ring. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4952 |
He's very possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4953 |
He'll be with me through the appeal. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4954 |
I'm under cave arrest, so I have to wear this ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4955 |
Glork, are you under house arrest, again? |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4956 |
The Shelter said he had no history of biting. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4957 |
He’s extinct, but he doesn’t know it. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4958 |
The judge said I could choose an ankle braclet or stoning. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4959 |
But Ma, it followed me home! |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4960 |
A chew toy might help his separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4961 |
She followed me home. May I keep her = please? |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4962 |
He’s my emotional support animal |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4963 |
It’s ok, he’s just playing. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
4964 |
He protects me from my occasional urge to jog. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
4965 |
It's a new tracking technology called ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4966 |
On the other hand, it doesn't shed. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4967 |
It is part of my house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4968 |
I don't so much mind not being allowed to leave the cave, but the ankle monitor makes it really difficult to take a shower. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
4969 |
It followed me home. Can I keep it? |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
4970 |
He has a severe case of separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
4971 |
The kids really wanted one and we caved. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
4972 |
I keep an eye on him and he keeps an eye on me, although he does tend to be a bit possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
4973 |
I think I would choose jail instead if I could do it again. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4974 |
I taught him how to "go fetch" now I have to teach him to "release". |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4975 |
The alternative to alligator pie is supply-side economics. Let me demonstrate! |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4976 |
It's political. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4977 |
Yeah, the ankle bracelet is a condition of my parole. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
4978 |
He's better than the witch doctor. Every time I pry him off, my blinding headache comes back. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4979 |
I know right? She's gotten so clingy lately. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4980 |
It can be a pain, but pets teach the kids survival skills. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4981 |
Do you think wolves would be easier to domesticate? |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4982 |
He hates it when I go out. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4983 |
Say to hi to Chewy. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4984 |
It's called cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4985 |
He seems to think this is his cave |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4986 |
He was so cute when I got him. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4987 |
I'd love to come with you, but I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4988 |
It's my turn to feed him. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4989 |
He turned out not to be a shadow on the cave wall. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4990 |
Always happy to see me. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4991 |
It was this or house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4992 |
Yeah, I know. I should have tried to domesticate a wolf. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4993 |
Taking him out for walks is the hardest part. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
4994 |
Can't I keep him as a pet? I feel so attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4995 |
They used to tow you away for jaywalking. Now this. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4996 |
He just doesn’t want another pet |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4997 |
I should have mentioned... I am on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4998 |
Judge says I can get him off in three months with good behavior. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
4999 |
Happen to know a good stegosaurus whisperer? |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5000 |
It's getting better, we used to be attached at the hip. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5001 |
Yeah, bummer sentence. House arrest for 5 months. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5002 |
They put me under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5003 |
The upside is that this home uses no fossil fuels. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5004 |
I tried to get a sitter, but I'm afraid he'll have to come with us |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5005 |
I know I broke the law ... but they've got to make these ankle-monitors more user-friendly. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5006 |
It's an ankle monitor. I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5007 |
I decided that a small one on my ankle would be sexy. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5008 |
See ... it will be millions of years before we can safely say 'Heel!' |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5009 |
Apparently, it’s not extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5010 |
Sorry, I can't seem to shake loose tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5011 |
He hasn't been cave-trained yet. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5012 |
It's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5013 |
We're working on understanding the difference between "attachment" and "affection." |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5014 |
Can I keep him, PLEASE !!!!! |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5015 |
The parole officer mentioned something about an ankle bracelet but until then... |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5016 |
We're her third foster home |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5017 |
I'm training him to "heel" - and for a dimetrodon, he's coming along nicely! |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
5018 |
I always put my best foot forward. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5019 |
Thank heaven he's the runt of the litter. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5020 |
I'll be under house arrest for three more months. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5021 |
His name is Trump. And I'm still voting for him. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5022 |
Could one of you hold his tail while the other tickles under his chin. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5023 |
Beats prison! |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5024 |
It's a tracking tool mandated by the court. If I try to leave the house it bites off my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5025 |
I met her online. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5026 |
I think we need to revisit the idea of domesticating cats. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5027 |
But all the cool kids are wearing them! |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5028 |
Could be emotional attachment. Could be he's pulling my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
5029 |
We're inseparable, |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5030 |
Beats prison! |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5031 |
He followed me home, and I’m really attached to him. Can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5032 |
He’s my sado masochistic support animal |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5033 |
My attorney kept me out of jail, but now I have this ankle monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5034 |
The weaning process is taking longer than expected. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5035 |
I guess you could say that he's become quite attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5036 |
We’re still working on ‘leave it.’ |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5037 |
I just wanted a pet. I didn't think it would become so attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5038 |
It’s just separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5039 |
I feel like something’s gnawing at me. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5040 |
They always start out as ankle-biters. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5041 |
I forgot to turn the alarm off again! |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5042 |
He's very possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5043 |
My pet therapist recommended attachment parenting |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5044 |
I avoided prison, by plea bargaining to wearing an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01575 |
64 |
64 |
0 |
0 |
5045 |
He's still teething. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5046 |
The veterinarian asked me, 'Where did a get the idea he was vegetarian?' |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5047 |
I have an idea for a home security system. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5048 |
Judge say six month cave arrest and then community service. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5049 |
Give me a minute while I change shoes. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5050 |
Security System? Were you two afraid someone might steal a rock? |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5051 |
Please tell me he'll be extinct soon. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5052 |
He won't do this once we're domesticated. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5053 |
I'm under house arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5054 |
Look! He missed me! |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5055 |
My parole officer says I don't want to know what happens if I go outside. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5056 |
He's good with children; I know you'll love him. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5057 |
Part of my sentence...hey, the technology's gotta start somewhere. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5058 |
It’s not so bad as long as I stay within 50 feet of the cave. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5059 |
He seems to have a foot fetish. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5060 |
Well, I only have one eye. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5061 |
I just rescued him from a no-kill shelter. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5062 |
I call it the 'leg warmer,' but it's just a prototype. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5063 |
Next time remind me to make sure Fred and Wilma have paid their parking tickets before I borrow their footmobile. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5064 |
‘It’s me or extinction, so he’s hanging on.’ |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5065 |
There appears to be a disagreement as to who is eating whom for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5066 |
He was hungry; I ran out of homeowork |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5067 |
It's only a matter of time before they turn on you. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5068 |
They ran out of Crocs. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5069 |
Not too sure that alligator shoes will catch on. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5070 |
Domestication is a painful process. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5071 |
She's always like this until she gets her coffee |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5072 |
He’s still claiming I have one foot in the grave, but I think he’s projecting. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5073 |
Yes, I know, a cat would have been a better choice. |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
5074 |
I thought we were agreeing to adopt a child when he said "Let's get an ankle biter" |
1.0000 |
0.01600 |
63 |
63 |
0 |
0 |
5075 |
He's calling himself an ankleosaurus. I think it's just separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5076 |
It's my home detention monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5077 |
The worst part of house arrest is my ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5078 |
He seems to have developed a taste for white meat. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5079 |
The rent isn't that bad though. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5080 |
The vet said he has separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5081 |
The parole board said I had to wear this monitor lizard for 12 months. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5082 |
Not rating him highly in the audition for "man's best friend". |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5083 |
I'm just not a cat guy. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5084 |
He followed me home, can I keep him???? |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5085 |
It's a condition of my work release. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5086 |
The bear trap works just fine, but I have to figure out how to reset it. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5087 |
He'll be biting my ankle for another 30 days--until I'm off supervised probation. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5088 |
When will they discover a better mousetrap? |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5089 |
If we had a leash law this would never happen. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5090 |
I'm really not interested in your opinions about evolution. My ankle is killing me. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5091 |
They let me go home but I have to wear this newfangled ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5092 |
Fortunately, he's due to become extinct in 15 million years. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5093 |
This is Steg. He's very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5094 |
What are you two staring at?!? |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5095 |
He needs anger management. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5096 |
He’s a little clingy. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5097 |
The breed has a reputation, and it's totally unfair. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5098 |
Unfortunately I can't leave the cave, and the judge says I need to wear this until the trial begins. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5099 |
Jurassic parked. We’re going to have to work on the fetch command. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5100 |
I'm under cave arrest for looting the tarpits. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5101 |
Really, I find pet ownership quite calming. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5102 |
I have to wear this until the trial. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5103 |
He’s really attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5104 |
Can you guys watch him this weekend? We've got a hunting and gathering retreat. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5105 |
I can't go: I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5106 |
I only got probation, but the ankle bracelet's a beast. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5107 |
It is cute but a little too needy. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5108 |
The real difficulty is not his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5109 |
I've never had a pet that was this attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5110 |
And they said his bark is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5111 |
Rex is in therapy for his separation anxiety.... |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5112 |
He will soon be extinct and the pain will only be a distant memory |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5113 |
One more month of parole, and then it comes off. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5114 |
It beats staying in jail until my trial. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5115 |
It's the latest in Cankle Reduction devices and it's available in stripes or polka dots! |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5116 |
Sorry I can't join you. I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5117 |
The current owner isn't selling |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5118 |
The Ancient Ball and Chain |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5119 |
These Vice Grips work Great! |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5120 |
Yup, seems I've misspelled Plato's allegorical cave on the time machine and we've ended up at an alligator cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
5121 |
He found the bag of marijuana that is marked 'makes you hungry''. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5122 |
I said you would look great on my feet. Then this happened. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5123 |
Mildred’s out getting dinosaur food. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5124 |
I’d love to, but I’m under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5125 |
Caveman's best friend. Yeah, right. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5126 |
I know what to do to get my foot out of MY mouth. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5127 |
Better than that other ball and chain of an ex-wife |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5128 |
You're right you just had to out run me. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5129 |
Just don't give him any attention... otherwise he'll NEVER learn. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5130 |
It's a condition of parole. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5131 |
I'll name him "Legasaurus" |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5132 |
It's all the rage in the Paris caves. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5133 |
He's just teething. My wife said something about sticking a dummy in his mouth. Not sure what she meant. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5134 |
He’s become very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5135 |
It's called an "anklet" and it hurts like hell. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
5136 |
It's an ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
5137 |
This is actually the more preferred of the two things he does to my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
5138 |
It only hurts when I cough. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
5139 |
I would love to go, but it would violate the terms of my cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
5140 |
I tried to tell my wife I was more of a cat person |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
5141 |
'Hominids' best friend' he's not. |
1.0000 |
0.01681 |
60 |
60 |
0 |
0 |
5142 |
She's a rescue, so...we make allowances. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5143 |
But, Mo-om, Da-ad, I promise I'll feed him. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5144 |
Sorry, I can't go clubbing anymore. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5145 |
It's nothing, he's just hungry. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5146 |
Jail may have been a better option! |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5147 |
Probation is not so bad but the ankle monitoring bracelet is really a drag! |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5148 |
Sorry, I've been placed on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5149 |
It's a fashion statement. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5150 |
I am looking for my wife, have you seen her around? |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5151 |
Oh, I barely feel it but I'm not sure if it's because he's eased up or the nerve endings are gone. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
5152 |
I made the mistake of trying a new skin cream with barbeque sauce |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5153 |
Why would I go out and buy a bone when I have a perfectly good one right here? |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5154 |
It's a GPS ankle monitor. I got lucky - due to underfunding and overcrowding in our dungeon system, I was given cave arrest... |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5155 |
I'm training him to come to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5156 |
He's a stegosoreankle. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5157 |
Do you think the ankle bracelet too much? |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5158 |
He's got separation issues |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5159 |
I have to wear it until my next hearing in 2 weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5160 |
I can’t today I have another week of home detention. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5161 |
Yeah, and the breeder assured me it was an herbivore. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5162 |
Do you ever just feel like something is holding you back? |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5163 |
I'll be wearing this until I'm off parole. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5164 |
Does the Cave Owners Association cover this? |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
5165 |
It soothes him. |
1.0000 |
0.01653 |
61 |
61 |
0 |
0 |
5166 |
House arrest seemed like the better option. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
5167 |
Love bites, that's all it is. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5168 |
I've been fitted with a monitor, as a condition of my probation. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5169 |
We're working on his separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5170 |
Don’t be silly. He’s just playing. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5171 |
Oh yes...he's left over from a hundred million years ago.....a little harder to cavebreak. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5172 |
Jailcave is overcrowded. They gave me the ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5173 |
It's the newest technology in setting broken bones. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5174 |
Next time, you be the bait. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5175 |
Sorry, I can't go. I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5176 |
Next time I'm going through a breeder. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5177 |
Though the house-training is going well. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5178 |
But I love him. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5179 |
Ooooh-can I keep him! Mom, Dad, please? |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
5180 |
I don’t know what you mean, Gavror, we can hardly notice the house arrest bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5181 |
He's very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5182 |
I gotta stay here or my ankle monitor will go off. |
1.0000 |
0.01770 |
57 |
57 |
0 |
0 |
5183 |
Preparing dinner has gotten the best of me so I think we should eat out. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5184 |
We banned cruel punishments, but forgot to ban unusual ones. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5185 |
Hopefully, he's an endangered species. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5186 |
Aside from the fact that we're both single, what did you think we had in common? |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5187 |
have we invented a chain saw yet? |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5188 |
As ankle bracelets go, it sucks. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5189 |
Well, it's first gen. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
5190 |
He looks like a mutt, but his mother was a purebred ankylosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5191 |
If I leave the cave, he starts screaming my parole officer's name. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5192 |
No hunting and gathering for me. I’m under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5193 |
Darnit! I keep forgetting to turn off the alarm when I come back home. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5194 |
"Yeah, good news, I am off of cave arrest! "Um, so well the bad news is there was a malfunction with the anklesaurus, so I can't be the designated driver tonight". |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5195 |
There is no collusion! |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5196 |
But at least he's cavebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5197 |
See? With global warming now we have to worry about reptiles. |
1.0000 |
0.01626 |
62 |
62 |
0 |
0 |
5198 |
It's only while I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5199 |
The reason that the leash was the greatest invention until sliced bread. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5200 |
It didn't take long for me to get attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5201 |
I'm more of a dog person but Oonga insisted... |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5202 |
Yeah, it hurts, but at least I always know where to find him, |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5203 |
They're calling it 'the boot'. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5204 |
Him? He's my monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5205 |
Thanks for the invite. Can Sticky come with? |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5206 |
It's only a month of house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5207 |
This is why I try to stay as skinny as a toothpick. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5208 |
I got off easy. One year cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5209 |
Domestication has to start somewhere. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5210 |
It's not a bite, more like a molar caress. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5211 |
It's the Paleo Diet. With each bite the pounds just fall off. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5212 |
hey mom and dad, is this covered on our health care. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5213 |
He’s really attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5214 |
The home monitoring option isn’t as nice as one might assume. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5215 |
Do either of you know how to recover a forgotten PIN number? |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5216 |
I wouldn't say I am completely free with this ankle monitor |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
5217 |
He really starts to grow on you. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
5218 |
This house arrest thing is really getting old. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
5219 |
I think he's becoming domesticated |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5220 |
He's really attached. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
5221 |
I’m going to get rid of this guy. He took my left arm last week. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
5222 |
I can't find his teething ring. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
5223 |
My doctor said he's seen this kind of thing before, and that I might wind up losing the leg. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
5224 |
It's a condition of parole. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
5225 |
You wouldn't happen to be carrying a club? |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
5226 |
House arrest feels more like corporal punishment. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
5227 |
My ex claimed I violated the first restraining order. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
5228 |
I'm under cave arrest because of some fake news nonsense involving the Neanderthals. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5229 |
It’s just until my court appearance. |
1.0000 |
0.01739 |
58 |
58 |
0 |
0 |
5230 |
It's called "cave-arrest," my best option since "an eye for an eye" was clearly not in my best interest. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5231 |
Man, house arrest methods are getting more prehistoric by the day. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5232 |
He's actually the top student in his obedience class |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5233 |
We're rather attached to each other. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5234 |
Generations from now they will take domesticated family pets for granted. For now, I'm just glad this one doesn't eat the children. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5235 |
Just putting on my Crocs and I’m ready to go. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5236 |
I'm under house arrest and they put an ankle monitor on me. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
5237 |
I'm all for having Thag Bernstein watch little Buffy next time. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
5238 |
I have thirty days left on home confinement. |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
5239 |
I still have to report in twice a week. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
5240 |
Cave arrest ain’t so bad. |
1.0000 |
0.02532 |
40 |
40 |
0 |
0 |
5241 |
Sorry guys, no kickball for me tonight. You know I'm right-footed. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
5242 |
Well, it gave me the chance to coin the term "it's even worse than it looks" |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
5243 |
Evidently, he was abused as puppy. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
5244 |
House arrest sure *sounded* like a good option. |
1.0000 |
0.02740 |
37 |
37 |
0 |
0 |
5245 |
House arrest isn't as bad as I expected.... |
1.0000 |
0.02985 |
34 |
34 |
0 |
0 |
5246 |
It's a court ordered ankle bracelet |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5247 |
"Let It Go" isn't working. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5248 |
I’m thinking we need to invent a few strong profanities. |
1.0000 |
0.01905 |
53 |
53 |
0 |
0 |
5249 |
I know the ad said elevator—it ment to say alligator. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5250 |
Well honey, at least it's not a face lizard |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5251 |
I'd love to go but the old ball and chain won't let me. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5252 |
I can't today, guys, my ankle is acting up again. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5253 |
And we thought 2017 was tough. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5254 |
...we've only been together 3 months, but he is pretty attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5255 |
...all I said to him was "get a grip" |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5256 |
It's called an Anklosauris. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5257 |
I will admit, he is a bit possessive at times... |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5258 |
Love to join you, but the ball and chain made other plans. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5259 |
I know the wheel took you guys just a couple weeks, home security is more difficult. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5260 |
What a drag. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5261 |
We told you your continued denial of evolution could end badly. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5262 |
Check out my new leg warmer with ultra hot breath technology! |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5263 |
Last week it was a hicky, and now this! |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5264 |
It's called "imprinting." He thinks I'm his parent. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5265 |
His bellow is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5266 |
He's a good pet. He's very attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5267 |
I swear this vacuum has a mind of its own. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5268 |
Alright he'll give us the cave but its going to cost mean arm and a leg |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5269 |
Maybe it's not such a good idea to try to domesticate animals. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5270 |
Forgive me, I forgot my security system code. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5271 |
Yeah, but wait'll you see my co-pay. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5272 |
Please can we keep him? He's already so attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5273 |
"It's Lacoste" (Break the shackles of materialism.) |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5274 |
And then the punchline was supposed to be “It’s only a sabertooth ARM-adillo,” but . . . |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5275 |
Shhh, he’s teething. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5276 |
The court said I had to wear this ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5277 |
He's a herding dinosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5278 |
Of course it hurts, but it distracts me from obsessing about the Mueller probe. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5279 |
Ever since the invention of the wheel, the judge is afraid that I'll try to split town. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5280 |
I heard they're trying to come up with something called "electronic tagging" but it could take anything up to 50 millennia... so in the meantime this will do. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5281 |
But at least it's housebroken. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5282 |
I'm never stepping foot in Fred's man cave again ! |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5283 |
I’m not a techie but I think it’s called an attachment |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5284 |
I guess I'll just wait for that meteor to hit. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5285 |
"It's something called 'house arrest'". |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5286 |
He's a rescue with attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5287 |
My lawyer advised I take the ankle bracelet over prison. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5288 |
He's extremely possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5289 |
You should hear his bark. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5290 |
They said therapy animals had to be soft and furry. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5291 |
Right now, 'What's for dinner?' is a matter of perspective. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5292 |
I just need to teach him the difference between "fetch" and "flesh." |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5293 |
Will you guys PLEASE stop blaming the breed? |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5294 |
He just doesn't seem to understand the word "no". |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5295 |
House arrest isn’t so bad. I’m finally getting some cave painting done. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5296 |
Oh, I'm fine. It's my new Paleo Exercise Program. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5297 |
They say this accessory is all the rage in modern fashion, but it's beginning to gnaw on me. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5298 |
Scratch this 'pet' idea! |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5299 |
I have to wear it until my case goes to trial. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5300 |
I can't go, fellas. I'm under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5301 |
Our relationship is complicated but firm. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5302 |
I assured the judge recreational pot will be legal here someday, but he still nailed me with house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
5303 |
I can't make it. I've just had a bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5304 |
It was either wear the ankle bracelet or stay in jail. |
1.0000 |
0.02020 |
50 |
50 |
0 |
0 |
5305 |
Her name is Little Princess. |
1.0000 |
0.04082 |
25 |
25 |
0 |
0 |
5306 |
She’s a bit clingy but I think we can make it work. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5307 |
We both suffer from separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5308 |
I thought we might claim him as a dependent. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5309 |
I don't know...I feel like something's just been weighing me down this week. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5310 |
It's called a Neanklethal bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5311 |
House Arrest (4 million B.C.E.) |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5312 |
Madam, sir! Don't worry about having any door. Here is very safe. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5313 |
It's nice having a pet, but it costs an arm and a leg to take care of him. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5314 |
Whose notion was it of starting a trend of keeping pets? |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5315 |
I reported him to HR but with all the paperwork nothing will be done for 100,000 years. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5316 |
What's rabies? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5317 |
It was 90 days or cave-arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5318 |
I thought a resolution to 'spend more time together' would be different. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5319 |
No, I did not see the "Beware of Stegosaurus" petroglyph. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5320 |
I'm still under cave-arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5321 |
We are thinking of having him neutered |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5322 |
The judge said I can't leave the cave without this on. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5323 |
He followed me home so I decided to keep him. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5324 |
I'm on cave arrest until the arraignment. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5325 |
The Judge said I had to wear this ankle monitor. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
5326 |
He is a bit of an ankle biter, but I think the idea of a pet is a good one. It might catch on. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5327 |
How was I to know they installed a new home security system? |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5328 |
He wants to join with me on my trip to Stonehenge! |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5329 |
It only hurts when I move. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5330 |
there is a dinosaur biting my leg |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5331 |
It's an ankle bracelet that I have to wear instead of going to jail |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
5332 |
You had to say bite me. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5333 |
He’s part Australian Shepard and part Tyranosaurus Rex. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5334 |
I think we better rethink the ankle bracelet idea. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5335 |
I heard whiskey helps with a teething so I drank a shot before bed last night. Turns out it's true. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5336 |
Wearing this at home is still better than going to jail. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5337 |
I had hoped to domesticate it. Now, I’m thinking I’ll just eat it! |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5338 |
I can't wait until my house arrest is over and I can get this thing off of me. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5339 |
He gets very attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5340 |
...and the Irobotosaurus will keep the place clean while you're gone. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5341 |
At least I got house arrest instead of jail. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5342 |
I know you don’t want a pet but he wants to keep me. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5343 |
Her separation anxiety is killing me. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5344 |
It's easier than a leash. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5345 |
Sorry guys, I can't. I'm on house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5346 |
Could you explain that my name is Donald but I'm not the President! |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5347 |
You two look mighty hungry. I'll start fixing dinner as soon as I get the damn main course off my leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
5348 |
But he ate the dog. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5349 |
Relax. He doesn’t even live in the same era as us. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5350 |
I'm fine. She just needs to be cave trained. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5351 |
What...it's a therapy dinosaur. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5352 |
I'm pretty sure a study from Sweden said I have a 36% chance of living longer with one of these. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5353 |
Jimmy Chews |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5354 |
I told him 'Bite Me' and he did. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5355 |
He's a biter not a barker. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5356 |
Yes, they are a big responsibility, but you become so attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5357 |
Dont' worry, he doesn't shed. |
1.0000 |
0.02598 |
39 |
39 |
0 |
0 |
5358 |
He's angry because he's so last year. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5359 |
I found ergonomic enlightenment in 1998. I can’t believe it’s been 20 years! |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5360 |
He's called Denver Boot and doesn't bark. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5361 |
Looks like I might be a little late for the Wooly Mammoth hunt this afternoon. Can one of you guys fill in for me? |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5362 |
"I'm training him to "Heel". |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5363 |
It’s just until my probation is over. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5364 |
I stood in a "No-Standing" zone. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5365 |
More importantly, why do we look like chickens in dresses? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5366 |
It’s an ankle monster. A condition of my early release. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5367 |
When will there be dogs? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5368 |
That's not my dog. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5369 |
I'm afraid he's developed separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5370 |
I finally got my mother off my back, and now this. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5371 |
Millions of years from now they'll mistakenly identify it as a plant eater. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5372 |
I can't leave....I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5373 |
I've got a leg up on dinner tonight. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5374 |
HeInsistedHeComeWithMe |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5375 |
It’s OK. He won’t bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5376 |
I paid my rent. You don't have the right to 'boot' me out of my cave. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5377 |
My parole ends next week |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5378 |
I named him "ankle-o-soreness". |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5379 |
My policy doesn't cover this. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5380 |
I've been put under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5381 |
Judge says I have to wear the ankle monitor for six months. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5382 |
The whole fetch thing is not working out the way I thought it would. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5383 |
Well, it was either the ankle monitor or five more years inside. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5384 |
... and because I’m considered a flight risk, I have to wear this ridiculous bracelet until my court date. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5385 |
He followed me home and I just couldn't shake him off! |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5386 |
I'd like to illustrate the importance of depth perception. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5387 |
It’s got a couple of drawbacks |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5388 |
I don't know - it started out as just a bunion |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5389 |
It’s for my back pain. That answers your one and only question. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5390 |
We actually first met through Tinder |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5391 |
I think Zog is teething. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5392 |
... and then no one will notice we only have one eye! |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5393 |
You won't believe what happened to the rug. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5394 |
he just needs some hundred thousand years of domesticating |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5395 |
All the electronic ankle bracelets went to higher ranking personal. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5396 |
He is really great with the kids |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5397 |
Hey, it beats prison. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5398 |
It is so baffling that my Doctor has referred me to a paleontologist. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5399 |
We're working on his attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5400 |
I haven’t visited your new cave because I’m suffering from attachment disorder. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5401 |
That's what so rewarding about rescued pets, they get attached real fast . |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5402 |
It’s a rescue dinosaur with separation anxiety |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5403 |
I call him Leg-Is-Sore-Us. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5404 |
Look, your inner strength isn’t just going to cultivate itself. |
1.0000 |
0.02151 |
47 |
47 |
0 |
0 |
5405 |
If the shoe fits.. |
1.0000 |
0.02299 |
44 |
44 |
0 |
0 |
5406 |
Yeah, the judge says I've got to wear this tether until my trial date. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5407 |
I'm not sure I can wait for evolution to shrink him down to manageable size. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5408 |
I only said: "he won't bite the hand that feeds him." |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5409 |
Yes, the political situation is a problem, but might I briefly interrupt our discussion with a request for a heavy club? |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5410 |
I just have to wear it until my parole hearing. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5411 |
"It's a new specie called the legasaurus". |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5412 |
He said he just dropped in for a bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5413 |
He's a bit clingy, though in a cute sort of way. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5414 |
Once you start feeding them, they keep coming back. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5415 |
What can I say? He's attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5416 |
It's the new fight-or-flight diet. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5417 |
It's a sock. I had two but the other one got lost in the dryer. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5418 |
Most rescues are very insecure. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5419 |
It was a condition of my bail. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5420 |
Don't worry, his bark is worse than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5421 |
I'm waiting for the leash to be invented. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5422 |
I've been adopted. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5423 |
I kinda new when I threw him out because he peed in the cave that he'd come back to bite me. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5424 |
It beats Rikers. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5425 |
I have to wear the ankle monitor while I'm on probation. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5426 |
Mom, it's fine. Everyone who goes to college gets it. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5427 |
Yes, there's that, but he is cave trained. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5428 |
Well, I never forget to walk him... |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5429 |
It’s an ankle bracelet. I’m under cave arrest. So no, I won’t be able to make it to the opera. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5430 |
We have attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5431 |
I can't go. I'm still under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5432 |
It’s the latest in deep tissue massage. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5433 |
The judge ruled that I am under house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5434 |
House arrest is a real drag. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5435 |
It's on a paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5436 |
He has severe separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5437 |
Yeah, the ankle bracelet is confining, but it's better than the big house. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5438 |
Crocodiles attacking people is fake news. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5439 |
Those eggs were like, way past their sell-by date. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5440 |
I thought you said your dog does not bite. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5441 |
It's an armanlegillo. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5442 |
It's OK. This is how he shows love. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5443 |
Except for that he's a wonderful house pet! |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5444 |
It's a condition of my release. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5445 |
OK, which one of you got me a pet for Christmas? |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5446 |
I'm lucky I got probation. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5447 |
I'm under cave arrest and I have to wear this Savannah Monitor for two weeks. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
5448 |
I've grown attached to him. |
1.0000 |
0.02817 |
36 |
36 |
0 |
0 |
5449 |
He’s still a puppy! |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5450 |
How much longer until your cave arrest is up? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5451 |
Still I prefer house arrest |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5452 |
Can I keep her? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5453 |
He's very affectionate, but a bit possessive. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5454 |
As much as I’d love to gather berries with you all, as you can see, I’m on cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5455 |
The guy at the pet store said Fido would end up costing me an arm and a leg. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5456 |
House arrest, but soon my ankle bracelet will be removed. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5457 |
It's by court order. Makes me move not faster than 2mph. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5458 |
Can I keep him, mom and dad? Can I?" |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5459 |
Don't you think a ball and chain would be a better idea? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5460 |
All he's learned is how to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5461 |
I rubbed a couple of sticks together; next thing I know, cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5462 |
I can hardly wait til leverage is well understood. |
1.0000 |
0.01802 |
56 |
56 |
0 |
0 |
5463 |
It's a simple question of the chicken or the leg. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
5464 |
Son, I don't care what everyone else is doing, first it's a leg reptile, next thing you'll be getting a nose ring |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
5465 |
It’s a little tight but it’s great at stabilizing my ankle. |
1.0000 |
0.03077 |
33 |
33 |
0 |
0 |
5466 |
Remain clam. Don't get prehysterical! |
1.0000 |
0.02353 |
43 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
5467 |
The judge said it will come off in 3 months if I don't go misbehaving again. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5468 |
Yeah, under cave arrest again...Gathering While Intoxicated. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5469 |
Honest folks, I will feed it. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5470 |
He bit my leg and won't let go. Can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5471 |
I’m supposed to have this house arrest ankle monitor removed next week. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5472 |
I am not sure we got off on the right foot when we installed our new home security system. |
1.0000 |
0.01709 |
59 |
59 |
0 |
0 |
5473 |
I got three months of cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5474 |
Actually he's turning omnivore. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5475 |
I'd love to come with you, but I'm under cave arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5476 |
Mom? Dad? Can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5477 |
It’s a love bite, he’s cave broken and nice. Please? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5478 |
He won't let go until I've drawn his picture. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5479 |
Yes, he really is attached to me! |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5480 |
Wilma and Fred got one, so my wife wanted him. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5481 |
YOU trying telling him he's not invited! |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5482 |
Hey! You’re damned lucky it’s cave arrest with ankle monitoring and not lapidation! |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5483 |
' Yes it is true. I am under house arrest." |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5484 |
He’s been attached to me ever since he was a pup. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5485 |
We’re very attached to each other. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5486 |
she is jealous that I may go get another stegosaurus pet |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5487 |
I didn't know he was a leg man. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5488 |
I know, but can we keep him? |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5489 |
Just like the court order says, I don't try to leave and he doesn't clamp down. |
1.0000 |
0.02198 |
46 |
46 |
0 |
0 |
5490 |
I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5491 |
Only two more months under cave arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5492 |
She's been like this since the E-X-T-I-N-C-T-I-O-N. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5493 |
Tell them I'll be late for Rotary today. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5494 |
House Arrest, circa 40,000 B.C. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5495 |
Yep, it's separation anxiety. We used to be attached at the hip. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
5496 |
Call Cesar. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5497 |
Me, it's what's for dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5498 |
I'm not worried; he's vaccinated. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5499 |
I'm on cave arrest and can't go because of my ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5500 |
It's called an 'editor.' |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5501 |
Snuggles can be a little clingy when he encounters strangers. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5502 |
It’s still better than a husband... |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5503 |
"They didn't have a Chia pet". |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5504 |
The decision I made came back to bite me in the foot. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5505 |
The shaman says one week of this, and my foot pain will completely disappear. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5506 |
This "Paleo" diet is killing me! |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5507 |
A beware of beast sign would have been helpful. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5508 |
I’m only allowed to leave the cave to go to work. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5509 |
I call it a "pet." |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5510 |
can't join you today. I'm under cave arrest! |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5511 |
We're still stuck in the age of #MEAToo. |
1.0000 |
0.03175 |
32 |
32 |
0 |
0 |
5512 |
I didn't have to put up bail, but the judge ordered me to wear this ankle monitor lizard. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5513 |
He's quite attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5514 |
It's called an ankle bracelet. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
5515 |
Not in a relationship more like attached. |
1.0000 |
0.02469 |
41 |
41 |
0 |
0 |
5516 |
He's very affectionate. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
5517 |
He wants me to be extinct when he's extinct. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
5518 |
My next pet is going to be a mammal. This thing is really cold-blooded. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
5519 |
He hates it when I leave him alone. |
1.0000 |
0.02667 |
38 |
38 |
0 |
0 |
5520 |
I forgot to feed the meateater. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5521 |
This day has been such a drag. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5522 |
OH hes just a baby! It tickles! |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5523 |
Rub his tummy once, and he's your friend for life! |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5524 |
He has separation issues |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5525 |
I should have taught him the "Release" command first. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5526 |
Is the urgent care still open? The closest ER is out-of-network. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5527 |
Since I'm under house arrest, I was told I'd have to wear this device around my ankle for the next six months. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5528 |
He only gets like this when people are over, I swear. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5529 |
He is still learning how to show his feelings, but will be men’s best friend one time in the future. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5530 |
I don't think this is what Plato had in mind. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5531 |
The shelter claims he’s an herbivore, but I suspect he’s on the paleo diet. |
1.0000 |
0.01980 |
51 |
51 |
0 |
0 |
5532 |
We had him fixed,and cave broken. |
1.0000 |
0.01869 |
54 |
54 |
0 |
0 |
5533 |
This gives new meaning to ball and chain. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5534 |
Cave Arrest |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5535 |
He is a friendly rescue. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5536 |
I've lost my Crocs. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5537 |
Can we keep him? His bark is worst than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5538 |
It appears that we’re very tasty. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5539 |
It was going so well, and then I taught him to heel. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5540 |
We don't think that he will be teething much longer. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5541 |
Mom, Dad, it followed me home! Can we keep it? |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5542 |
We get along fine; however, I am a bit concerned that it may have some attachment issues. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5543 |
I have this gnawing feeling, Fido's not really taking to obedience training. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5544 |
Sorry, I'm on home monitoring and I can't go out. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5545 |
It flunked obedience school. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5546 |
Ball & Chain... its a new dating site. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5547 |
It's just a nibble, not sexual harassment. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5548 |
On reflection, I regret opting for house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5549 |
He's noticed that our clothes look suspiciously like his ma & brother! |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5550 |
Well, for example, THIS never happened in the pre-Cambrian era! |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5551 |
Yes, I was allowed to spend the Holidays in the Hamptons with my family but the monitor had to stay on. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5552 |
He's not very domesticated, but then who is? |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5553 |
It keeps me at home. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5554 |
He just started teething. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5555 |
It's just his cute way of resisting evolution. |
1.0000 |
0.02062 |
49 |
49 |
0 |
0 |
5556 |
Just wait til you hear his bark ! |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5557 |
His bark is meaner than his bite. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5558 |
He's just been cranky about that whole 'becoming extinct' thing. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5559 |
Not to worry, he's already had dinner. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5560 |
I do love him. But, he's a little too attached to me. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5561 |
He got mad at me because he only wants to be dry rubbed. |
1.0000 |
0.02105 |
48 |
48 |
0 |
0 |
5562 |
He's super anxious. I'm his new service animal. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5563 |
How do you say, 'Heel!' in dinosaur? |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5564 |
I got caught for insider rock trading...I gotta wear this ankle monitor until my court date. |
1.0000 |
0.02247 |
45 |
45 |
0 |
0 |
5565 |
When you said having a pet would cost me an arm and a leg I had no idea you were being literal! |
1.0000 |
0.03509 |
29 |
29 |
0 |
0 |
5566 |
I think maybe the discount Crocs weren't such a good idea. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5567 |
What's the catch? |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5568 |
Not a caveman’s best friend. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5569 |
I regret asking for alligator shoes this Christmas. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5570 |
We're still working on the separation anxiety. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5571 |
Everyone's wearing one these days. |
1.0000 |
0.01835 |
55 |
55 |
0 |
0 |
5572 |
WHEN HE TALKED HIS WAY INTO OUR CAVE, HE SWORE HE WAS A VEGETARIAN. BUT I CAN'T FIND WALTER! |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5573 |
He must smell my Stegasaurus. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5574 |
Prehistoric house arrest. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5575 |
It may be too late to get a leg up on this one. |
1.0000 |
0.01942 |
52 |
52 |
0 |
0 |
5576 |
I can't shake this feeling that's gnawing away outside of me. |
1.0000 |
0.02410 |
42 |
42 |
0 |
0 |
5577 |
After Eve, I needed a companion animal. |
1.0000 |
0.06455 |
16 |
16 |
0 |
0 |