Contest #593


Cartoon

593


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Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 It's not so much what she said as how she said it. 2.0651 0.01404 3135 873 1185 1077
1 No, my wife served the papers personally. 2.0381 0.01714 2256 706 758 792
2 I'm pretty sure it's a final notice 2.0340 0.01423 3027 877 1170 980
3 ...oh, and there's a note from your mother. 2.0126 0.01487 3025 993 1001 1031
4 ‘Sharply worded’ would describe it. 2.0048 0.01398 3117 942 1218 957
5 Actually, I would like to shoot the messenger. 1.9829 0.01425 3220 1080 1115 1025
6 Hi honey, we just received the new Republican tax plan. 1.9780 0.01873 2041 753 580 708
7 Well, it doesn't feel like a metaphor. 1.9728 0.01450 3050 1020 1093 937
8 Yes, I am painfully aware of your terms and conditions. 1.9591 0.01585 2421 787 946 688
9 What I had actually said was "Take a stab at it and get back to me" 1.9553 0.01468 3000 1040 1054 906
10 I have reason to believe that my wife found our love letters. 1.9412 0.02411 1105 389 392 324
11 At least she didn’t use bullet points. 1.9351 0.01508 2852 1023 991 838
12 And I said, "Divorce papers? Why not just stick a knife in my back?" 1.9153 0.01736 2148 794 742 612
13 To her credit, she did leave a note. 1.9080 0.01410 2977 1030 1191 756
14 I'd like to switch to paperless statements. 1.8986 0.01569 2711 1056 874 781
15 Turns out they CAN pin it on me 1.8876 0.01545 2660 1010 939 711
16 The stress is bearable, it's the paperwork that's killing me. 1.8859 0.01767 1989 744 728 517
17 I think we can rule out reconciliation. 1.8835 0.01521 2558 923 1010 625
18 I've just received some painful news. 1.8808 0.01690 2123 785 806 532
19 I'm sorry, but Emma and I won't be able to make it to your murder mystery party. Clever invitation, by the way. 1.8778 0.01504 2758 1049 997 712
20 She knows. 1.8644 0.01528 2855 1171 900 784
21 My wife served the papers herself. 1.8553 0.01783 1969 779 696 494
22 No, I can't sit back and relax. 1.8170 0.01600 2393 992 847 554
23 I got your text but I’m having trouble with the attachment. 1.8091 0.01785 1959 834 665 460
24 I wouldn't say it went well, but she did sign the divorce papers. 1.7947 0.02058 1359 559 520 280
25 Remember when we thought there couldn't be anything worse than his tweets. 1.7762 0.02025 1497 664 504 329
26 All I can say is that I did not see this coming. 1.7758 0.01740 1896 804 713 379
27 No, I haven't read it but I get the point. 1.7648 0.01665 2032 867 776 389
28 I think the worst news is behind me. 1.7647 0.02052 1373 596 504 273
29 I can’t read it, but I got the message. 1.7552 0.01657 2096 922 765 409
30 No, I haven't read it yet, but I get the point. 1.7552 0.02398 960 411 373 176
31 Yes, well I'm afraid I'm not in any position to read the fine print just now. 1.7505 0.01692 1940 841 742 357
32 ........ all I said was "You know where you can stick it." 1.7435 0.02020 1501 701 484 316
33 Turns out the pen and sword are about equal. 1.7427 0.02405 1026 470 350 206
34 I need to order some Post-It Notes for my wife. 1.7384 0.02636 822 370 297 155
35 I was under the impression that the writing would be on the wall. 1.7352 0.01890 1673 780 556 337
36 You were right. She didn't like the pre-nup. 1.7318 0.01823 1734 794 611 329
37 So she said, ‘How can I convince you that I am filing for divorce?’. And I said, ‘Take a stab at it.’ 1.7284 0.01862 1786 861 549 376
38 'Yes doctor, you could call it a stabbing pain." 1.7274 0.02458 939 429 337 173
39 Your last letter really hurt. 1.7269 0.02169 1223 564 429 230
40 The good news is she finally signed the divorce papers. 1.7234 0.01860 1670 777 578 315
41 No, it's not the handwriting that makes it difficult to read. 1.7206 0.02189 1181 545 421 215
42 What are you going as? I'm the Wittenberg Church door. 1.7150 0.02886 751 372 221 158
43 I don't see why you can't leave notes on the fridge like everyone else 1.7115 0.02033 1383 652 478 253
44 I think we’re past mediation. 1.7105 0.01994 1375 632 509 234
45 Please remove me from your mailing list. 1.7009 0.02868 759 384 218 157
46 No, I mean literally. 1.6904 0.02442 998 499 309 190
47 Man, these back taxes are killing me. 1.6871 0.02168 1259 631 391 237
48 Can't talk right now, I'm stuck with some paperwork 1.6853 0.02160 1217 597 406 214
49 The prenup is signed. How quickly can you draw up a will? 1.6847 0.02959 666 332 212 122
50 i'd like to switch to paperless billing please. 1.6765 0.02789 782 405 225 152
51 I can't read it. But I feel it's bad news. 1.6732 0.02228 1074 519 387 168
52 She got the house, and I got stuck with the mortgage. 1.6722 0.02812 717 359 234 124
53 I'd like to switch to your paperless billing option. 1.6683 0.02456 1025 543 279 203
54 It's an advance copy of the new Republican tax plan. 1.6667 0.02501 1005 539 262 204
55 No, I wouldn’t say the prenuptial discussion went well. 1.6657 0.02329 987 484 349 154
56 I received some painful news. 1.6650 0.02420 976 497 309 170
57 Yes, I’m pretty certain she just served me with divorce papers. 1.6594 0.02456 916 462 304 150
58 Why can’t you just text, like everyone else? 1.6560 0.02507 878 445 290 143
59 So you filed for divorce behind my back? 1.6560 0.02566 875 454 268 153
60 What really hurts is that you couldn't tell me to my face. 1.6538 0.02547 855 436 279 140
61 I'd like to sign up for paperless billing... 1.6498 0.02673 808 424 243 141
62 Yes, without a word. But she did leave a painful note. 1.6485 0.03096 569 290 189 90
63 Yes, I'm sure the differences are irreconcilable... 1.6461 0.02651 777 398 256 123
64 We need post it notes. 1.6454 0.02634 767 388 263 116
65 Yes, I do think she really means it this time. 1.6358 0.02790 692 358 228 106
66 Hello, 911? Hi, it's the middle class. I just received the House tax plan. 1.6341 0.03420 533 299 130 104
67 I'd like to switch to online billing. 1.6300 0.02921 654 348 200 106
68 Hello, I'd like to switch to paperless billing. 1.6300 0.02961 654 353 190 111
69 Why yes, she did leave a note... 1.6274 0.02887 636 331 211 94
70 Her divorce attorney is a Lutheran, I think. 1.6272 0.03064 625 343 172 110
71 I'd like to start receiving my bill online. 1.6258 0.03135 620 348 156 116
72 If I had to guess, I'd say that the divorce is contested. 1.6254 0.03072 574 303 183 88
73 I can't read it, but I gather you're unhappy. 1.6233 0.02864 600 303 220 77
74 Sorry, I can’t make it, I have a to-do list that is killing me. 1.6227 0.03111 599 329 167 103
75 She wants either a divorce or Protestant reformation. 1.6220 0.03131 590 324 165 101
76 She left me a very pointed note. 1.6218 0.02971 595 311 198 86
77 Can I switch to paperless delivery? 1.6205 0.03040 585 311 185 89
78 Mediation is probably out of the question. 1.6152 0.03138 551 296 171 84
79 I got my performance review today. 1.6133 0.03154 543 292 169 82
80 Tell the orthopedist the pain is back and I haven't seen the bill. 1.6127 0.03149 537 287 171 79
81 So then I said, "Who leaves a homicide note?" 1.6113 0.03336 530 299 138 93
82 Listen, it's not what you said, it's how you said it. 1.6110 0.03163 527 281 170 76
83 I'd like to report an attack ad. 1.6082 0.03336 513 286 142 85
84 Yes, I heard from her attorney. 1.6082 0.03347 513 287 140 86
85 Signed, no. Executed, yes. 1.6078 0.03270 510 278 154 78
86 I'd like to cancel our marriage counselling appointment. 1.6075 0.03344 507 282 142 83
87 I need to get something off my back. 1.6040 0.03313 495 271 149 75
88 She left a 'Dear John' letter. It really hurt. 1.5987 0.03287 471 252 156 63
89 It's not the fine print that I'm worried about. 1.5983 0.03441 463 257 135 71
90 I think she's serious this time. 1.5960 0.03403 453 247 142 64
91 Agnes, I got your divorce papers today and I must admit they hurt me more than I expected. 1.5942 0.03546 446 252 123 71
92 It's not the demands I object to, it's the way they were presented. 1.5908 0.03438 435 237 139 59
93 I believe my wife chose to serve me the papers herself. 1.5897 0.03599 429 243 119 67
94 yes, she left a note. 1.5892 0.03604 426 241 119 66
95 It certainly doesn't feel like fake news . . . 1.5892 0.03649 426 244 113 69
96 Yes, can you tell me how to unsubscribe? 1.5892 0.03573 426 239 123 64
97 Yes, I think the divorce papers are still where you put them. 1.5887 0.03805 423 252 93 78
98 Of course she signed the pre-nup, I have it right here ... 1.5887 0.03466 423 230 137 56
99 I don't know what it says. That's why I need you to come over. 1.5855 0.03617 415 234 119 62
100 No, I'm quite sure I selected email notifications. 1.5850 0.03670 412 235 113 64
101 I have a hunch my wife found out about us. 1.5837 0.03545 406 223 129 54
102 I'm going to need a paramedic and a divorce attorney 1.5831 0.03600 403 224 123 56
103 Honey, it's backwards in the mirror. Can you just come home and read it? 1.5810 0.03632 401 225 119 57
104 She left a note. No, I haven't read it yet. 1.5802 0.03811 393 229 100 64
105 Next time just send me a text. 1.5788 0.03551 387 210 130 47
106 What part of "literally" don't you understand? 1.5788 0.03662 387 216 118 53
107 I haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty sure she wants a divorce. 1.5755 0.03704 384 217 113 54
108 It feels more like a utility knife than a steak knife, but I could be wrong. 1.5745 0.03643 369 202 122 45
109 It's a sharp pain in my back. I have a nagging feeling that there's more to it. 1.5745 0.03803 376 216 104 56
110 Oh, so now I'm the one who's being dramatic? 1.5745 0.03651 376 208 120 48
111 You said the instructions are on the back? 1.5737 0.03920 373 220 92 61
112 Yes, she signed the papers. 1.5737 0.03846 373 216 100 57
113 Of course I'm sure - she left a note 1.5737 0.03846 373 216 100 57
114 It started it with a ‘kick me’ and it went downhill from there. 1.5737 0.03902 373 219 94 60
115 I'm detecting a new level of animosity in the negotiations. 1.5706 0.03706 361 200 116 45
116 You couldn’ta just texted me ?? 1.5702 0.03911 363 212 95 56
117 The worst part is she moved out and stuck me with the lease. 1.5699 0.03967 372 223 86 63
118 Mrs. Luther, your son Martin must learn to hand in his homework like everyone else. 1.5698 0.04012 358 213 86 59
119 Didn’t read your note but got the point 1.5694 0.03693 360 199 117 44
120 Hello Mr. Trump. My name is Willard Skivington from the middle class. I wanted to inform you I just now received a copy of your new tax plan. 1.5686 0.04061 357 215 81 61
121 Let's just say she made her point. 1.5682 0.03778 352 197 110 45
122 Can't play golf today. Jenny is kind of anxious that I finish my to-do list. 1.5678 0.03783 354 199 109 46
123 I'm not sure what it says, but somehow I get the point. 1.5674 0.03809 356 202 106 48
124 The New Yorker asked me to stop submitting cartoon captions. 1.5670 0.04014 358 214 85 59
125 I don't know--a list of grievances, I think. She seemed angry. 1.5661 0.03855 348 198 103 47
126 In life, Joe, there are to-do lists and or-else lists. 1.5661 0.03702 348 191 117 40
127 No, I don't see any note. 1.5658 0.05953 152 88 42 22
128 I've got a bad back, but there's a funny story attached... 1.5621 0.04161 338 205 76 57
129 What to-do list was that, Hon? 1.5618 0.03949 340 197 95 48
130 She got the house. I got the cutlery. 1.5616 0.04189 333 202 75 56
131 No, negotiations did not go well. 1.5602 0.03861 332 187 104 41
132 Can you come over? I need you to read something. 1.5583 0.04080 326 192 86 48
133 Yes Officer Dibble, my wife has read the restraining order. 1.5573 0.04015 323 187 92 44
134 I think my wife found out about us. 1.5569 0.03949 325 186 97 42
135 Yeah, I'm pretty sure she wants a divorce. 1.5569 0.03876 325 183 103 39
136 911? I'd like to report an ultimatum. 1.5569 0.03997 325 188 93 44
137 It’s not what you said, it was how you said it! 1.5562 0.04140 320 190 82 48
138 No, mother, this time I don't think she's coming back. 1.5552 0.04025 317 183 92 42
139 I liked it better when she left notes on the refrigerator. 1.5552 0.04099 317 186 86 45
140 Sorry I can't come, I've been stuck with the to-do list. 1.5549 0.04006 319 184 93 42
141 No. Technically I haven't seen the summons. 1.5549 0.04006 319 184 93 42
142 No, I'm not with the White House any longer. 1.5538 0.04060 316 184 89 43
143 No -- no, I think it's too high to be sciatica. Feels more like a manifesto. 1.5527 0.04189 313 187 79 47
144 The knife wound is minimal, but the words cut deep. 1.5521 0.04076 317 186 87 44
145 That's right. She delivered the divorce papers personally. 1.5508 0.04068 305 176 90 39
146 I wish he would go back to tweeting. 1.5505 0.04152 307 181 83 43
147 It's not a metaphor, Operator. 1.5505 0.03995 307 175 95 37
148 Sorry, I don’t have the exact figures in front of me. 1.5498 0.03983 311 178 95 38
149 I’d like to report a backstabbing. No eyewitnesses but they did leave a note. 1.5498 0.04137 311 184 83 44
150 It might be a toss up as to which one is mightier. 1.5497 0.04072 302 174 90 38
151 Sorry I can’t, I just got stuck with some paperwork. 1.5493 0.04132 304 178 85 41
152 I wouldn't call it a death threat as much as a manifesto. 1.5482 0.04056 301 173 91 37
153 Does this mean it’s over? 1.5470 0.04196 298 176 81 41
154 Well that's all fine and good, Lorraine, but the note is backwards in the mirror, so how 'bout you just tell me what it said? 1.5458 0.04283 295 177 75 43
155 It’s not so much what it says as how it was presented 1.5436 0.04235 287 169 80 38
156 Sorry, no golf today. Trudy just reminded me it's her birthday 1.5436 0.04148 287 166 86 35
157 Apparently, they want the contract signed in blood. 1.5436 0.04118 287 165 88 34
158 Your lawyer sent the divorce papers. 1.5433 0.04353 289 175 71 43
159 Yes Jim, the divorce papers were served personally. 1.5423 0.04298 284 169 76 39
160 Tell Mr. Mueller I'm ready to talk. 1.5420 0.04188 286 167 83 36
161 I forget: Where did you leave my copy of our child-support agreement? 1.5420 0.04188 286 167 83 36
162 No, I'm pretty sure it will be contested. 1.5406 0.04252 283 167 79 37
163 She isn’t totally on-board with the divorce settlement. 1.5406 0.04193 283 165 83 35
164 In this case, it's not what it says that hurts, but how they said it. 1.5396 0.04370 278 167 72 39
165 Fake news. Real knife. 1.5393 0.04135 280 161 87 32
166 I’d like to switch to paperless billing. 1.5382 0.04437 275 167 68 40
167 Well, she signed the prenup. But she wasn’t happy. 1.5379 0.04262 277 163 79 35
168 No, doctor, it's more like a stabbing pain. 1.5368 0.04352 272 162 74 36
169 I'd prefer paperless billing in the future. 1.5368 0.04475 272 166 66 40
170 It wasn't just the email. She also added an attachment. 1.5353 0.04358 269 160 74 35
171 and then I said, " President Trump,you can't keep tweeting! There must be another way of communicating with the media" 1.5351 0.04206 271 157 83 31
172 I'd love to stop by, but my paperwork is killing me... 1.5338 0.04396 266 159 72 35
173 I'd like to complain about your overly aggressive process servers. 1.5338 0.04197 266 153 84 29
174 That's the last time I date a Protestant. 1.5338 0.04331 266 157 76 33
175 The good news is, she signed the papers. 1.5336 0.04466 268 163 67 38
176 About 5'10", chubby; possibly Lutheran. 1.5333 0.04409 270 163 70 37
177 Oh she's more than just talking behind my back. 1.5323 0.04267 263 153 80 30
178 This is what I get for marrying a Lutheran. 1.5323 0.04499 263 160 66 37
179 I'll stop calling if you stop writing. 1.5308 0.04572 260 160 62 38
180 Yes dear, I got your note. 1.5308 0.04539 260 159 64 37
181 Now she's spreading vicious rumors behind my back. 1.5292 0.04236 257 148 82 27
182 I don't think it's "Uncontested" anymore. 1.5290 0.04352 259 153 75 31
183 There may be some lingering resentment. 1.5276 0.04486 254 153 68 33
184 Yes Greta, I got the divorce papers. 1.5276 0.04451 254 152 70 32
185 I'm calling to report a hate message. 1.5276 0.04380 254 150 74 30
186 Et tu, Verizon? 1.5273 0.04561 256 157 63 36
187 When I said don't shoot the messenger, wouldn't you think no stabbing is implied? 1.5259 0.04236 251 144 82 25
188 Well...it still hurts, but at least I've put it behind me now. 1.5259 0.04456 251 150 70 31
189 Not sure what it says but she really seemed to take the “back-stabbing bitch” comment quite literally 1.5257 0.04500 253 153 67 33
190 She's delivered the divorce papers. 1.5257 0.04500 253 153 67 33
191 I've been served. 1.5224 0.04683 245 152 58 35
192 Yes doctor, its a stabbing pain between my shoulders... yes, I did just sign a new contract with my cable company. 1.5224 0.04683 245 152 58 35
193 Yeah, I got the message. 1.5223 0.04583 247 151 63 33
194 Yes, dear, I got your message. 1.5223 0.04474 247 148 69 30
195 I’d like to unsubscribe from your mailing list. 1.5207 0.04800 242 153 52 37
196 Yes,I'm a 100% sure she found the letter I wrote to you. 1.5205 0.04663 244 151 59 34
197 I looked everywhere. 1.5187 0.04482 241 144 69 28
198 Does this mean it’s over? 1.5187 0.04670 241 149 59 33
199 Yes, I'd like to report an overreaction. 1.5185 0.04416 243 144 72 27
200 At least she had the decency to leave a note. 1.5168 0.04282 238 137 79 22
201 There is a will, but I don’t think you could call it uncontested 1.5168 0.04601 238 145 63 30
202 The fine print is killing me. 1.5167 0.04417 240 142 72 26
203 Well, she decided not to sign the prenup. 1.5167 0.04686 240 149 58 33
204 Yes, I have a copy, and it’s binding. 1.5167 0.04496 240 144 68 28
205 I think the pre-nup touched a nerve 1.5167 0.04534 240 145 66 29
206 She left instructions for my next wife. 1.5150 0.04832 233 147 52 34
207 She finally stuck me with divorce papers. 1.5150 0.04474 233 138 70 25
208 I know, but this time I think she means it. 1.5150 0.04793 233 146 54 33
209 No. I wouldn’t use the word amicable. 1.5150 0.04515 233 139 68 26
210 Hey, Brutus it's me... I got your note. 1.5149 0.04875 235 150 49 36
211 Yes, I do mean literally. 1.5149 0.04567 235 142 65 28
212 911? I need an ambulance and a proof reader, stat. 1.5148 0.04254 237 136 80 21
213 This hurts, Judy. 1.5148 0.04616 237 145 62 30
214 How can I change the delivery method for future notices? 1.5148 0.04731 237 148 56 33
215 Well, she delivered the divorce papers. 1.5128 0.04377 234 137 74 23
216 Yes, I got the final notice. 1.5111 0.04504 225 133 69 23
217 I think she wants a divorce. 1.5110 0.04851 227 143 52 32
218 No. Literally, this time. 1.5110 0.04687 227 139 60 28
219 On second thought, I do agree to the terms and conditions. 1.5109 0.04489 229 136 69 24
220 She overreacted ‘cause the job jar and fridge magnets were full. 1.5109 0.04858 229 145 51 33
221 My client has expressed reluctance at accepting your proposal. 1.5090 0.04637 222 134 63 25
222 The acupuncturist stopped by with another payment notice. 1.5090 0.04593 222 133 65 24
223 *Can you hold? I think I have another message. 1.5090 0.04681 222 135 61 26
224 The good news is, they gave me a very detailed severance package. 1.5090 0.04637 222 134 63 25
225 Yes, hi. I'd like to change my delivery preferences. 1.5089 0.04649 224 136 62 26
226 She served the papers herself. 1.5089 0.04735 224 138 58 28
227 Got your message. Point taken. 1.5087 0.04642 230 141 61 28
228 She’s hired a real backstabber for a lawyer. 1.5068 0.04826 221 138 54 29
229 Remember the new neighbor I said looked like Martin Luther? 1.5068 0.05156 221 146 38 37
230 You could've sent me an all caps text message. 1.5047 0.04577 214 127 66 21
231 And then I asked her to sign a prenup 1.5046 0.04833 218 136 54 28
232 Yeah, it's definitely worse than those itches you can't quite reach. 1.5024 0.04425 211 122 72 17
233 OK, I’m ready to switch to paperless billing now. 1.5024 0.04673 211 127 62 22
234 I think she means it, this time. 1.5023 0.04782 213 131 57 25
235 Hello...menopause hotline? 1.5023 0.04964 213 135 49 29
236 They got back to me in writing. 1.5023 0.04928 215 136 50 29
237 I looked everywhere. 1.5023 0.04839 215 134 54 27
238 The next time the alimony check is late, just call me. 1.5000 0.04541 210 124 67 19
239 Yes I heard. Republicans sent the middle class a message. Yes I got mine too. 1.5000 0.05240 210 139 37 34
240 So, then marriage counseling is out? 1.5000 0.04972 210 133 49 28
241 Trust me, I don't have to read it to know it's not good news. 1.5000 0.04737 210 128 59 23
242 My backstabbing wife has just served divorce papers on me. 1.5000 0.04915 208 130 52 26
243 My annual performance review didn't go too well. 1.5000 0.05108 210 136 43 31
244 The wedding's off. She refused to sign the pre-nup. 1.5000 0.05018 210 134 47 29
245 Well, it feels like about four or five pages, but I think you're missing my main concern. 1.4976 0.05073 207 133 45 29
246 I sense three or four pages. Does it matter? 1.4976 0.04969 205 129 50 26
247 Yeah, she served me the papers herself. 1.4951 0.05083 204 131 45 28
248 I wouldn’t call it an amicable divorce. 1.4951 0.04840 204 126 55 23
249 No, I cannot forward the Message 1.4951 0.04688 204 123 61 20
250 They told me it's a binding contract and I'm stuck with it. 1.4951 0.04688 204 123 61 20
251 She said something about never listening. 1.4951 0.04739 204 124 59 21
252 It pains me to read your letter. 1.4951 0.04789 204 125 57 22
253 I didn't get a good look at him, but I'm pretty sure he's Lutheran 1.4950 0.05402 202 136 32 34
254 I want to report an attempted contract killing. 1.4950 0.05217 202 132 40 30
255 Yes, sweetheart, of course I am sure that I no longer work at the White House. the President told me in person! 1.4950 0.05012 200 126 49 25
256 I won't be coming to work today. My To-Do list is killing me. 1.4950 0.05112 200 128 45 27
257 Yes, I can show that I was personally served. 1.4950 0.04808 200 122 57 21
258 Funny that you mention it. She did seem a bit upset. 1.4950 0.04911 200 124 53 23
259 I believe I'm the target of a hate mail campaign. 1.4927 0.04722 205 125 59 21
260 It’s safe to say she’s not bluffing this time. 1.4925 0.04825 199 122 56 21
261 I'd prefer to go paperless from now on. 1.4925 0.04825 199 122 56 21
262 I just got her counter-proposal. What's our next move? 1.4925 0.04878 199 123 54 22
263 Yes I have the note. Yes I know where the note is. Yes it is in a place where it won't get lost. No I cannot read it to you. 1.4925 0.04878 199 123 54 22
264 Mother, of course she was decent enough to leave me a farewell note. 1.4925 0.04772 199 121 58 20
265 It hurts to admit it, but I feel you've made your point. 1.4924 0.04643 197 117 63 17
266 Room Service? Could you, please, send up two mirrors. 1.4924 0.04753 197 119 59 19
267 These bills are killing me. 1.4899 0.04895 198 123 53 22
268 Hello Mabel, my wife found your letters. 1.4898 0.04985 196 123 50 23
269 I thought reporting to HR was confidential? 1.4898 0.04770 196 119 58 19
270 I brought a subpoena to a knife fight. 1.4898 0.05340 196 130 36 30
271 She said I don't pay attention to the Post Its. 1.4898 0.04715 196 118 60 18
272 ... and then she stuck me with a long list of demands. 1.4898 0.05037 196 124 48 24
273 Martin, I think more people would see it if you pinned your message to a church door. 1.4898 0.05089 196 125 46 25
274 The sign said “Post No Bills” not “Post On Bill...” 1.4897 0.05023 194 122 49 23
275 Well, they missed my spinal cord so I wouldn't call it 'crippling debt.' 1.4897 0.05129 194 124 45 25
276 Well, she didn't embrace constructive criticism as much as I'd hoped 1.4897 0.05023 194 122 49 23
277 I sense it's over. 1.4874 0.04877 199 124 53 22
278 Yes, I received the divorce papers. 1.4870 0.05148 193 124 44 25
279 No, it’s a sharp stabbing pain. 1.4870 0.04767 193 117 58 18
280 Yes, as chance would have it, I do have a living will posted where first responders can find it. 1.4869 0.05189 191 123 43 25
281 I think it's the divorce papers, and I'm guessing she signed them. 1.4869 0.05027 191 120 49 22
282 Yeah, I'm sure. This time, the divorce is going to stick. 1.4869 0.04916 191 118 53 20
283 Yes, literally 1.4869 0.05027 191 120 49 22
284 Yes, I'm sure the message was meant for me. 1.4868 0.05122 189 120 46 23
285 Apparently they call it targeted advertising. 1.4868 0.04897 189 116 54 19
286 No dear, I did not see your note. 1.4868 0.05122 189 120 46 23
287 The new Congressional tax plan has just arrived. 1.4868 0.05442 189 126 34 29
288 There's a backstory you should know about. 1.4840 0.04858 188 115 55 18
289 An amicable separation appears to be off the table now. 1.4840 0.05142 188 120 45 23
290 Yes, I'd like to lodge a complaint concerning your delivery service. 1.4840 0.04858 188 115 55 18
291 I miss the old days when they just wrote 'Kick Me' on sticky notes. 1.4840 0.05086 188 119 47 22
292 Yes, I received the divorce papers. 1.4840 0.05197 188 121 43 24
293 Haven't read it yet, but I am guessing it's not good news. 1.4840 0.04739 188 113 59 16
294 Yes, unfortunately, they found a way to make the charges stick. 1.4839 0.05403 186 123 36 27
295 Your letter was really hurtful 1.4839 0.05349 186 122 38 26
296 Can I talk to someone about going paperless? 1.4813 0.05049 187 118 48 21
297 Got your message. Point taken. 1.4813 0.05217 187 121 42 24
298 Yes, Martha, I got the divorce papers. 1.4813 0.04816 187 114 56 17
299 I think I got her answer to the prenup. 1.4813 0.05049 187 118 48 21
300 I see. And, what if I'm 90 days late? 1.4813 0.05049 187 118 48 21
301 Yes, the divorce papers just got here. No, I don't think she's kidding. 1.4813 0.05106 187 119 46 22
302 Yes, I've heard the expression "Stick it to the man." 1.4813 0.04934 187 116 52 19
303 This wasn't what I meant when I said let's put our grivances behind us. 1.4813 0.05106 187 119 46 22
304 Please remove this list from me, I mean me from this list. 1.4813 0.04876 187 115 54 18
305 Please put me on your Do Not Stab list. 1.4813 0.05049 187 118 48 21
306 I think my wife is on to us. 1.4811 0.05260 185 120 41 24
307 Can I change to the digital subscription? 1.4811 0.05032 185 116 49 20
308 I didn't see it coming. She served me the divorce papers herself. 1.4811 0.05032 185 116 49 20
309 Your mother stopped by and left a note. 1.4811 0.05316 185 121 39 25
310 Yes, I’ve received it Senator. Now I understand why it’s called a middle class tax cut. 1.4811 0.05260 185 120 41 24
311 I haven't seen their comments but I sense they’re unhappy with a few of the terms. 1.4809 0.04829 183 111 56 16
312 You were right, I should have known Martin Luther would be a bad roommate. 1.4809 0.05247 183 118 42 23
313 Remember you told me the prenup was bulletproof? 1.4809 0.05247 183 118 42 23
314 Yes. I got your note. You made your point. 1.4809 0.05072 183 115 48 20
315 Hello, IKEA customer service? My wife finds your assembly instructions confusing and frustrating. 1.4809 0.05247 183 118 42 23
316 She didn't go for the pre-nup. 1.4787 0.04972 188 118 50 20
317 Stabbed in the Back With a Note Attached Hot Line? I'm calling about...yes, I'll hold. 1.4785 0.05238 186 121 41 24
318 She delivered the subpoena herself. 1.4780 0.05493 182 122 33 27
319 I’d like to change my billing preference to “online.” 1.4780 0.05210 182 117 43 22
320 Well, there is one sticking point. 1.4780 0.04910 182 112 53 17
321 I think we're done with counter-offers. 1.4780 0.05151 182 116 45 21
322 No, I didn't see it coming. Yes, she did leave a note. 1.4780 0.04656 182 108 61 13
323 I don't think you understand what I mean by "paper cut." 1.4780 0.05151 182 116 45 21
324 She delivered it herself. I haven't been able to get to it yet. 1.4778 0.05194 180 115 44 21
325 I called him a back-stabbing, ignorant list-maker, and look where it got me. 1.4775 0.05052 178 111 49 18
326 Honey, do you remember where you put the shopping list? 1.4751 0.05231 181 117 42 22
327 Indications are pointing towards a painful divorce. 1.4751 0.05172 181 116 44 21
328 I assume a friendly divorce is out of the question. 1.4751 0.05289 181 118 40 23
329 She finally served the divorce papers. 1.4751 0.05231 181 117 42 22
330 I had a different understanding when you said you have my back in this contract. 1.4749 0.04840 179 109 55 15
331 I received your letter, but I'm sensing some hostility. 1.4749 0.04968 179 111 51 17
332 Mr. Fleceum Esq. please. My wife just served me divorce papers and I think it's going to be messy. 1.4746 0.05613 177 120 30 27
333 I just heard from her lawyer,it's going to get ugly. 1.4746 0.05072 177 111 48 18
334 Hello 911, someone has just stabbed me and left a note to make it look like a suicide. 1.4746 0.05497 177 118 34 25
335 Please inform Mr Luther that the church is actually next door. 1.4746 0.05438 177 117 36 24
336 Well, to be fair I did ask him to take a stab at the report. 1.4746 0.05438 177 117 36 24
337 I think it's safe to assume she's made up her mind. 1.4716 0.04963 176 109 51 16
338 No, if she were mad she would tell me. 1.4716 0.04963 176 109 51 16
339 You were right, she served the papers herself. 1.4716 0.05520 176 118 33 25
340 The good news is that she signed the separation agreement. 1.4713 0.05134 174 110 46 18
341 For the last time, Mr. Luther, my name is Chuck Dorr, not Church Door. 1.4709 0.05679 172 117 29 26
342 No, I already looked on the refrigerator. 1.4709 0.05371 172 112 39 21
343 I got your message, and I'm hurt. 1.4709 0.05243 172 110 43 19
344 I would like to report a threatening letter that I have just received. 1.4709 0.04768 172 103 57 12
345 Honey, you said I couldn't find it if it was pinned to my chest. Well? Where is it? 1.4709 0.05243 172 110 43 19
346 I can no longer refer to the divorce proceedings as " amicable." 1.4709 0.05558 172 115 33 24
347 Actually, I’m not able to read the fine print. 1.4709 0.05434 172 113 37 22
348 Dad, remember when you said words could never hurt me? 1.4709 0.05434 172 113 37 22
349 I’m guess I’m looking for a divorce lawyer. 1.4709 0.04977 172 106 51 15
350 I didn't read it but I feel I got the point. 1.4706 0.05419 170 111 38 21
351 Not to jump to conclusions, but I'd say my attacker is likely a Lutheran. 1.4706 0.05608 170 114 32 24
352 I don't think the prenup is going to fly 1.4706 0.05289 170 109 42 19
353 I suppose this means the divorce is no longer an amicable parting of two people that still care very much about one another? 1.4706 0.05222 170 108 44 18
354 Short, German accent, answers to Luther. 1.4689 0.05257 177 115 41 21
355 She just stuck me with divorce papers. 1.4689 0.05070 177 112 47 18
356 It started out as a friendly game of pin the tail on the donkey. 1.4678 0.05065 171 107 48 16
357 I’m not being paranoid. They stabbed me in the back with the terms of that contract. 1.4678 0.05265 171 110 42 19
358 Yup, pretty sure she's filing for divorce... 1.4678 0.05132 171 108 46 17
359 No, Mildred; I haven't read the letter yet...but I get the message. 1.4675 0.05376 169 110 39 20
360 Yeah, she left. I haven't read her note, but it hurts already. 1.4675 0.05244 169 108 43 18
361 Please resend it, I can't read the attachment. 1.4675 0.05376 169 110 39 20
362 Yes, Dear...your mother did leave a message. 1.4675 0.05570 169 113 33 23
363 Yes. Phyllis really nailed me with those divorce papers. 1.4675 0.05108 169 106 47 16
364 Yes, I recieved your apology, but it feels insincere. 1.4675 0.05506 169 112 35 22
365 I'm pretty sure she wants a divorce. 1.4675 0.05311 169 109 41 19
366 It's back from peer review. 1.4675 0.05244 169 108 43 18
367 Yes, I did receive the divorce papers today. 1.4671 0.05424 167 109 38 20
368 Yes, dear. I did get your message. 1.4671 0.05010 167 103 50 14
369 Yes, I did hear from your lawyer. 1.4643 0.05058 168 105 48 15
370 The ex got just about everything... Although she did leave me the title to the Prius. 1.4639 0.05173 166 105 45 16
371 They’ve presented a fairly compelling counter offer. 1.4639 0.05101 166 104 47 15
372 She's fairly adamant about the divorce settlement. 1.4639 0.05645 166 112 31 23
373 Well, bravo, Janice. This time you've also robbed me of my favorite metaphor to describe how this divorce feels. 1.4639 0.05448 166 109 37 20
374 All I said was just give me the shopping list. 1.4634 0.05146 164 103 46 15
375 Hang on, I believe Col. Mustard left a message 1.4634 0.05218 164 104 44 16
376 I don't know what it says, but I have a feeling it's some sort of grievance. 1.4634 0.05497 164 108 36 20
377 I'm starting to think that the couple's therapy isn't working.. 1.4634 0.05072 164 102 48 14
378 Apparently she and I have different understandings of ‘amicable.’ 1.4634 0.05359 164 106 40 18
379 I can't read the fine print, but I think she's serious this time. 1.4634 0.05146 164 103 46 15
380 My fiancé has a few issues with the pre-nup draft. 1.4634 0.05497 164 108 36 20
381 No, I have to say the discussion about the pre-nup didn't go well. 1.4634 0.05429 164 107 38 19
382 No, it's more like a deeply personal kind of pain. 1.4634 0.05218 164 104 44 16
383 We are out of post-its again. 1.4634 0.05072 164 102 48 14
384 She says she wants out, and this time I think she's serious. 1.4634 0.05359 164 106 40 18
385 911? Yes, please send an ambulance and a divorce attorney right away. 1.4634 0.05565 164 109 34 21
386 Hold on. I think someone is trying to get my attention. 1.4634 0.04923 164 100 52 12
387 My ex just violated the restraining order. 1.4634 0.05359 164 106 40 18
388 Yes, I got your demands, but posting them on my door would have been OK too. 1.4630 0.05116 162 101 47 14
389 Honey, Your lawyer was here. 1.4630 0.05191 162 102 45 15
390 I'd appreciate being put on your Do Not Stab list. 1.4630 0.05548 162 107 35 20
391 Call it a hunch, but no, I don't think my wife will be open to marriage counseling." 1.4630 0.05264 162 103 43 16
392 Yes, it came on very suddenly; I'd say it starts at the shoulder blades and kind of radiates out. 1.4630 0.05548 162 107 35 20
393 Hi mother, my divorce papers just arrived. 1.4630 0.05264 162 103 43 16
394 Yes, it's over, she served the papers herself. 1.4615 0.05308 169 110 40 19
395 Hi, I'm holding for Brutus. Is he in? 1.4615 0.05308 169 110 40 19
396 Yeah, she signed it, but she wasn't happy. 1.4615 0.05374 169 111 38 20
397 Yes, she signed and returned the prenup. 1.4615 0.05439 169 112 36 21
398 I guess the divorce papers are final. 1.4615 0.05308 169 110 40 19
399 Well, it wasn't the NRA... 1.4615 0.04748 169 102 56 11
400 I need to get a few legal issues off my back. 1.4615 0.05036 169 106 48 15
401 I'd like to go paperless, please. 1.4615 0.05754 169 117 26 26
402 I had no idea they put out a contract on me. 1.4615 0.05308 169 110 40 19
403 It wasn’t her lawyer. She delivered the divorce papers herself. 1.4615 0.05241 169 109 42 18
404 Actually, Mr. Trump, when you said, "I've got your back covered" this wasn't exactly what I expected. 1.4601 0.05589 163 109 33 21
405 Martha, can we go back to the regular Post-it notes? 1.4596 0.05572 161 107 34 20
406 I need both and ambulance and an ambulance chaser, please. 1.4596 0.05061 161 100 48 13
407 I'm pretty sure the divorce paperwork is final. 1.4596 0.05502 161 106 36 19
408 Yes, I definitely got the subpoena. Oh yeah, it was served on my person alright. 1.4596 0.05502 161 106 36 19
409 Believe me, they're not willing to negotiate. 1.4596 0.05061 161 100 48 13
410 I have a complaint about the tags on your shirts. 1.4591 0.05765 159 108 29 22
411 No mom, this time I think she means it. 1.4591 0.05106 159 99 47 13
412 This time I think she's serious. 1.4591 0.05183 159 100 45 14
413 ...yes, then I said, stick it wherever you think it will do the most good. 1.4591 0.05554 159 105 35 19
414 I'm so sorry, I won't be able to make it in today. I have a stabbing pain in my back 1.4591 0.05106 159 99 47 13
415 Yes, she's gone. Yes, left me a note. Yes, she was very upset. No, I haven't read it yet. Yes, I love you. Will talk later. 1.4591 0.05554 159 105 35 19
416 Hi, I'm just calling to let you know I got your manuscript and I literally can't put it down. 1.4591 0.05482 159 104 37 18
417 What divorce papers?! 1.4591 0.05259 159 101 43 15
418 A simple 'No' would have sufficed. 1.4591 0.04947 159 97 51 11
419 Sorry Bob, no poker tonight. The wife stuck me with some errands. 1.4563 0.05234 160 102 43 15
420 As divorces go, it's been pretty amicable. 1.4563 0.05234 160 102 43 15
421 So I said to her "I'll tell you where you can stick your Dear John letter" 1.4563 0.05309 160 103 41 16
422 Phyllis, your mother just returned the nursing home application. No, she hasn't signed it yet. 1.4563 0.05526 160 106 35 19
423 The tax cut plan arrived today. Deep cuts, as promised. 1.4563 0.05667 160 108 31 21
424 yes dear, I think I got the point 1.4563 0.05158 160 101 45 14
425 All I asked for was a gentle reminder. 1.4563 0.05234 160 102 43 15
426 I told her there was no point in HANDWRITTEN stories these days. 1.4563 0.05597 160 107 33 20
427 No, it's not a metaphor this time. 1.4551 0.05407 156 101 39 16
428 Is it too late to settle? 1.4551 0.05330 156 100 41 15
429 I've just left the Trump administration and I'm looking for a new position... 1.4551 0.05558 156 103 35 18
430 It's official. The divorce papers have been served. 1.4551 0.05172 156 98 45 13
431 This paperwork is killing me 1.4551 0.05705 156 105 31 20
432 Yes, I got your message. I must say I found it somewhat hurtful. 1.4551 0.05172 156 98 45 13
433 Her parting words will stick with me for a while. 1.4551 0.05172 156 98 45 13
434 Yes, Doctor, I do work in the White House. Why do you ask? 1.4551 0.05558 156 103 35 18
435 I think my wife found our love letters. 1.4551 0.05558 156 103 35 18
436 RE-PRE-SEN-TA-TIVE. 1.4551 0.05483 156 102 37 17
437 I'm starting to feel the sword is mightier than the pen. 1.4551 0.05558 156 103 35 18
438 Gretchen, your old boyfriend was here...yes, he left a message... 1.4551 0.05483 156 102 37 17
439 Yes, I have a copy of the divorce agreement. 1.4551 0.05632 156 104 33 19
440 Is it too late to take out the 'over-my-dead-body' clause? 1.4551 0.05632 156 104 33 19
441 Yes Honey, the grocery list is still where you put it. 1.4551 0.05483 156 102 37 17
442 Yes, I received it today -- but just to be clear, I requested online billing. 1.4551 0.05848 156 107 27 22
443 I was wrong, they pinned it on me. 1.4551 0.05407 156 101 39 16
444 9-1-1? I have reason to believe there's a contract out on me. 1.4551 0.05330 156 100 41 15
445 First you threaten to shove your divorce papers up my ass, then you stab me in the back with your demands, and now you want me to leave my response after the beep. It hurts, Eleanor; it really hurts. 1.4551 0.05558 156 103 35 18
446 I was literally stabbed in the back with the new contract..... what?.......yes I KNOW what "literally" means...... 1.4545 0.05219 154 97 44 13
447 The good news is she signed the divorce agreement. 1.4545 0.05611 154 102 34 18
448 No, I'm not speaking metaphorically. 1.4545 0.05686 154 103 32 19
449 Dr. Mackey, do you have any experience removing a subpoena? 1.4545 0.05458 154 100 38 16
450 Yes, I have reconsidered, I would like to receive my bank statements by email instead. 1.4545 0.05834 154 105 28 21
451 No, I don't mean that figuratively. 1.4545 0.05458 154 100 38 16
452 On the bright side: I feel a sense of closure. 1.4545 0.05300 154 98 42 14
453 Yes Sir, it's Mr. Herman again. I called yesterday, complaining about the way your boy was delivering my newspaper. 1.4545 0.05906 154 106 26 22
454 I'm not wild about their counter-offer. 1.4545 0.05458 154 100 38 16
455 How can you say I'm oblivious? 1.4545 0.05611 154 102 34 18
456 Yes, your new divorce attorney contacted me directly. 1.4545 0.05458 154 100 38 16
457 Call me paranoid if you want, but I get the feeling that something's going on behind my back 1.4510 0.05403 153 99 39 15
458 How the hell do I know what they want? 1.4510 0.05158 153 96 45 12
459 No, Jack, I'm just a clerk. I don't think I'm going to need my own personal attorney. The White House has my back. 1.4510 0.05787 153 104 29 20
460 Yes, Mr. President, I prefer this to Twitter. 1.4510 0.05636 153 102 33 18
461 Got it. Next time just click "I Agree." 1.4510 0.05560 153 101 35 17
462 As I told you the last time you called, I’m on the “National Do Not Stab” list. 1.4510 0.05934 153 106 25 22
463 She served me herself. Is that legal? 1.4510 0.05403 153 99 39 15
464 I think I have a contract out on me. 1.4503 0.05290 151 96 42 13
465 No, I think I can state with some certainty she won't be signing any prenuptial agreement. 1.4503 0.05614 151 100 34 17
466 No, it's NOT a metaphor! 1.4503 0.05534 151 99 36 16
467 No, you didn't interrupt anything. We're just celebrating the 500th anniversary of the reformation. 1.4503 0.05614 151 100 34 17
468 I made the mistake of asking for her ultimatum in writing. 1.4503 0.05534 151 99 36 16
469 Stop trying to pin this one on me 1.4503 0.05534 151 99 36 16
470 It only hurts when I lie down. 1.4503 0.05534 151 99 36 16
471 No, it only hurts when I try to read the fine print. 1.4503 0.05454 151 98 38 15
472 Ace Detective Agency?...Someone's trying to pin something on me 1.4503 0.05206 151 95 44 12
473 I'm beginning to think she was serious about the divorce. 1.4503 0.05290 151 96 42 13
474 Yes, I suppose a flaming arrow would have been worse. 1.4503 0.05206 151 95 44 12
475 Sure it hurts. But it’s just her opinion. 1.4503 0.05454 151 98 38 15
476 My wife personally served me with divorce papers. 1.4503 0.05206 151 95 44 12
477 No, I feel like they're demands rather than suggestions. 1.4503 0.05454 151 98 38 15
478 Yes, I think its fair to characterize her lawyer as difficult. 1.4503 0.05206 151 95 44 12
479 ...because, I wouldn't sign this stupid anti-gun petition! 1.4497 0.05589 149 98 35 16
480 Could you pick up some more Post-Its, Margaret? 1.4497 0.05669 149 99 33 17
481 A description? I’m pretty sure he was Lutheran. 1.4474 0.05814 152 104 28 20
482 Can I call you back? I just got an urgent message. 1.4467 0.05559 150 99 35 16
483 Yes, please. I'd like to report a manifesto... 1.4467 0.05559 150 99 35 16
484 I'd like to report an overzealous process server. 1.4467 0.05559 150 99 35 16
485 Honey, I forgot where you put the to-do list? 1.4467 0.05396 150 97 39 14
486 I think she suspects us. 1.4467 0.05396 150 97 39 14
487 The good news is she signed first. 1.4459 0.05363 148 95 40 13
488 Yes, please tell Martin I got his message. 1.4459 0.05448 148 96 38 14
489 I'm pretty sure my wife just served me divorce papers. 1.4459 0.05448 148 96 38 14
490 Yes, I believe the divorce papers were just served. 1.4459 0.05448 148 96 38 14
491 Oh, and your acupuncturist said the check bounced 1.4459 0.05448 148 96 38 14
492 This time I think they mean business, Phil. 1.4459 0.05276 148 94 42 12
493 It’s death. And taxes. I should go. 1.4459 0.05531 148 97 36 15
494 She made it pretty clear that she wants a divorce. 1.4459 0.05448 148 96 38 14
495 No sir, the writing is not on the wall. 1.4452 0.05326 146 93 41 12
496 911? My wife ran out of Post-its... 1.4452 0.05670 146 97 33 16
497 Every time something goes wrong, why do you pin it on me? 1.4444 0.05378 144 92 40 12
498 There's a little push back on the pre-nup. 1.4430 0.05502 149 98 36 15
499 I'm having second thoughts about this Lutheran thing. 1.4422 0.05556 147 97 35 15
500 What grocery list? 1.4406 0.05581 143 94 35 14
501 And I felt personally threatened by the tone of this letter as well! 1.4406 0.05581 143 94 35 14
502 It seems I misunderstood when you said you had my back. 1.4406 0.05840 143 97 29 17
503 ...Yup, she finally signed the divorce papers. 1.4406 0.05840 143 97 29 17
504 Yes...literally & figuratively 1.4406 0.05401 143 92 39 12
505 Et tu, IRS? 1.4397 0.05901 141 96 28 17
506 Yes, I got the message from your attorney... 1.4397 0.05169 141 88 44 9
507 Lucy means business with her Christmas list this year. 1.4397 0.05638 141 93 34 14
508 This is why I prefer email. 1.4397 0.05547 141 92 36 13
509 Edwina? It's Milton. I think she may be on to us. 1.4397 0.05638 141 93 34 14
510 It's going to be my second divorce. First time with a Lutheran, though. 1.4397 0.05814 141 95 30 16
511 Well, of course there's a back story... 1.4397 0.04969 141 86 48 7
512 Im afraid I’m stuck with this contract. 1.4397 0.05901 141 96 28 17
513 Yes, I'd like to register a complaint about your past due accounts notification policy… 1.4397 0.05638 141 93 34 14
514 If you're trying to send a message, I prefer email. 1.4397 0.05638 141 93 34 14
515 It's not being backstabbed that hurts, it's the lengthy explanation that came with it. 1.4397 0.05814 141 95 30 16
516 No, I don't think it's another 'KICK ME' sign. This one feels different. 1.4397 0.05455 141 91 38 12
517 Et tu, Brenda? 1.4397 0.05638 141 93 34 14
518 I learned an important lesson: Don't bring an essay to a knife fight 1.4366 0.05782 142 96 30 16
519 I just knew you'd try to pin this on me. 1.4357 0.05572 140 92 35 13
520 I took the kids’ phones and told them to communicate the old fashioned way, like you suggested. 1.4357 0.05479 140 91 37 12
521 Yes, I get the point 1.4357 0.05664 140 93 33 14
522 I wouldn't exactly say she GAVE me the divorce papers. 1.4357 0.05842 140 95 29 16
523 No, the mother of my children served the papers herself. I think she's serious. 1.4357 0.05572 140 92 35 13
524 Police? I want to report a literary crime. 1.4348 0.05905 138 94 28 16
525 I just got served the divorce papers. Actually she served them herself . 1.4348 0.05993 138 95 26 17
526 I looked everywhere. You did not leave me the shopping list. 1.4348 0.05993 138 95 26 17
527 Yes, I received the attached copy. 1.4348 0.05629 138 91 34 13
528 At this point I’d have to say a divorce is imminent 1.4338 0.05493 136 88 37 11
529 The cable company has convinced me to switch to paperless billing. 1.4338 0.05688 136 90 33 13
530 Well no, it was not posted where I could see it. 1.4338 0.05592 136 89 35 12
531 My ex had the divorce papers delivered; I'm just having a hard time getting to them. 1.4338 0.06059 136 94 25 17
532 Hi Honey, I just received my buy out. No, it's everything I expected. 1.4338 0.05592 136 89 35 12
533 Hi, I’m calling to switch to paperless billing. 1.4338 0.05877 136 92 29 15
534 I'd like to lodge a complaint with your paperboy. 1.4338 0.05969 136 93 27 16
535 She wants a divorce. It hurts too much to talk about it. 1.4338 0.05969 136 93 27 16
536 If you ask me, the Jehovah's Witnesses in this neighborhood are getting a little aggressive. 1.4338 0.05783 136 91 31 14
537 I got your message. 1.4338 0.05877 136 92 29 15
538 I came home to a "Spear John" letter. 1.4338 0.05877 136 92 29 15
539 no dad, the prenuptial was not well received.............. 1.4338 0.05783 136 91 31 14
540 Hello, Comcast? I'm having an issue with my bill. 1.4326 0.05541 141 93 35 13
541 Am I now to assume an uncontested divorce is out of the question? 1.4317 0.05311 139 89 40 10
542 Yes Marsha, your lawyer has been here with the divorce papers. 1.4317 0.05408 139 90 38 11
543 Would you hold on for a minute? Someone's trying to get through to me. 1.4317 0.05690 139 93 32 14
544 She's not here now but she left a message. 1.4296 0.05811 135 91 30 14
545 But the good news is, the demands themselves are quite reasonable. 1.4296 0.05518 135 88 36 11
546 Oh, not a whole lot... Susan finally dropped off the divorce papers this morning 1.4296 0.05715 135 90 32 13
547 This is the third time this week I’ve been mistaken for a church door. 1.4296 0.05998 135 93 26 16
548 Don't be silly, Mom, we're both looking forward to your visit. 1.4296 0.05998 135 93 26 16
549 The divorce papers? Yes, she delivered them this morning. 1.4296 0.05715 135 90 32 13
550 It hasn't really sunk in yet. 1.4296 0.05617 135 89 34 12
551 I suspect they're plotting something behind my back. 1.4296 0.05518 135 88 36 11
552 Caesar residence, Julius speaking 1.4296 0.05905 135 92 28 15
553 Apparently she has 95 complaints 1.4296 0.05518 135 88 36 11
554 The divorce papers were served today. 1.4296 0.05617 135 89 34 12
555 I’d like to order some flowers for my wife. 1.4296 0.05811 135 91 30 14
556 I'd like to report and attempted murder and some very hurtful criticism. 1.4296 0.05811 135 91 30 14
557 Next time, could you keep it to just TALKING behind my back? 1.4296 0.05518 135 88 36 11
558 I got your note. 1.4296 0.05811 135 91 30 14
559 You left a message? 1.4286 0.05472 133 86 37 10
560 IRS? Is this regarding my back taxes? 1.4286 0.05776 133 89 31 13
561 Did you get your pink slip the same way I did? 1.4275 0.05738 131 87 32 12
562 No need to explain further, I got the point. 1.4275 0.05634 131 86 34 11
563 It's about your process server. 1.4275 0.05738 131 87 32 12
564 I think the IRS is serious this time Lauren." 1.4275 0.05529 131 85 36 10
565 Next time just send me a text. 1.4254 0.05839 134 91 29 14
566 Stabbing pain would be an accurate symptom. 1.4254 0.05543 134 88 35 11
567 Gotta go. My "Honey-do" list just arrived. 1.4254 0.05643 134 89 33 12
568 Yes, I was served the papers, and no, I haven't read them yet. 1.4254 0.05643 134 89 33 12
569 No, not separation. She's calling it "Reformation." 1.4254 0.05742 134 90 31 13
570 Hi hun, your ex was over and left a list of his stuff. By the way, remember when I said that you were a bit harsh in calling him a 'back-stabbing S.O.B'? 1.4254 0.05336 134 86 39 9
571 Got your note. I’m troubled by one sticking point. 1.4254 0.05839 134 91 29 14
572 It's the harshest rejection letter I've ever gotten. 1.4254 0.05643 134 89 33 12
573 The divorce papers arrived. 1.4254 0.06028 134 93 25 16
574 She left a note, but I can't read it. 1.4250 0.05995 120 80 29 11
575 Does our new health insurance cover stab wounds? I have all the paperwork attached. 1.4242 0.05902 132 90 28 14
576 Honey, why do we have a framed picture of a potted plant? And where did we put the bulletin board? 1.4242 0.05703 132 88 32 12
577 It would appear she didn't agree to the terms of the divorce. 1.4242 0.05804 132 89 30 13
578 What do you mean you're divorcing me because I'm an oblivious idiot? 1.4242 0.06282 132 94 20 18
579 Hey, Maury, you know those divorce papers you drew up for me, the ones I thought I lost? My wife just found them! 1.4242 0.05804 132 89 30 13
580 Cancel me for the foursome. The wife's 'honey do' list just took on a more urgent tone. 1.4242 0.05703 132 88 32 12
581 Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure that's not an appropriate way to serve divorce papers. 1.4242 0.05601 132 87 34 11
582 She read it ,but I am not sure she is going for it. 1.4242 0.05497 132 86 36 10
583 Well, my wife thinks I should get another quote. 1.4231 0.05968 130 89 27 14
584 So that's a definite no? 1.4231 0.05968 130 89 27 14
585 No, ma'am, when I say, 'stabbed in the back,' I mean I need an ambulance not an attorney. 1.4231 0.05660 130 86 33 11
586 I seem to have ignored the first few notices. 1.4231 0.05660 130 86 33 11
587 I got more feedback on my manuscript. 1.4231 0.06067 130 90 25 15
588 I received your complaint but haven't gotten around to reading it yet. 1.4231 0.05660 130 86 33 11
589 Et tu, Janet? 1.4231 0.05554 130 85 35 10
590 It may be an offer we can't refuse. 1.4231 0.06165 130 91 23 16
591 I have the list of demands, but I haven't gotten around to reading them. 1.4231 0.05968 130 89 27 14
592 Hello, Murder Mystery Monthly? I'd like to switch to your online edition. 1.4231 0.05867 130 88 29 13
593 Well, yes, I’m fairly certain she’s already contacted a lawyer. 1.4231 0.05660 130 86 33 11
594 Unfortunately, I won't be able to sleep on it. 1.4231 0.05765 130 87 31 12
595 I'm not positive, but something tells me it's divorce papers... 1.4231 0.05554 130 85 35 10
596 I liked it better when he was tweeting his messages. 1.4231 0.05968 130 89 27 14
597 Yes, she just gave me the eviction notice. 1.4231 0.04988 130 80 45 5
598 Well if I could read the instructions I’d get it out myself. 1.4231 0.05660 130 86 33 11
599 I'd love to but I'm stuck at home with a big to-do list... 1.4231 0.05335 130 83 39 8
600 The fine print is killing me. 1.4231 0.06165 130 91 23 16
601 ...and now my back-stabbing wife wants me to sign the divorce papers! 1.4231 0.05660 130 86 33 11
602 Yes, I'd like to report an obituary. 1.4219 0.05933 128 87 28 13
603 Ix-nay on the pre-nup. 1.4219 0.06137 128 89 24 15
604 Hello, is this The Mafia Daily? Yes? I'd like to switch to the Digital edition please. 1.4219 0.05722 128 85 32 11
605 I didn't get a good look at him, but I'm pretty sure he was a contract killer. 1.4219 0.06236 128 90 22 16
606 The handwriting is hard to make out, but I don't think it's good news. 1.4219 0.06137 128 89 24 15
607 Hello, billing? I've finally decided to go paperless. 1.4219 0.05828 128 86 30 12
608 I’d like to order a box of Post-it notes. 1.4219 0.06036 128 88 26 14
609 Who do I call to get taken off this mailing list? 1.4219 0.05933 128 87 28 13
610 Hi, Mr. Mueller. I'm calling to let you know that Don Jr. just responded to our latest request for his records. 1.4219 0.06236 128 90 22 16
611 I'm not saying that you didn't leave a note, I'm saying that I didn't find a note. 1.4219 0.05613 128 84 34 10
612 She's amazingly literate for someone so violent. 1.4219 0.05502 128 83 36 9
613 The Republicans just delivered their final version of the 'Repeal & Replace' Health Care bill 1.4219 0.05722 128 85 32 11
614 I don't know, back in my day it was just "kick me". 1.4211 0.05769 133 90 30 13
615 Independent third party mediation may not work in this case. 1.4206 0.05446 126 81 37 8
616 Well, you could say I’ve been served. 1.4206 0.05894 126 85 29 12
617 I think they are trying to make a point. 1.4206 0.05674 126 83 33 10
618 She was not crazy about the prenup idea 1.4206 0.06208 126 88 23 15
619 Hi. I think I need a divorce attorney. 1.4206 0.06105 126 87 25 14
620 She served the divorce papers herself. 1.4194 0.06588 124 90 16 18
621 My back-stabbing wife just filed for divorce. 1.4194 0.06177 124 86 24 14
622 Yeah, I don’t think she wants to talk it over anymore. 1.4194 0.05503 124 80 36 8
623 Yes Dear, by the way your Mother came by and left you a note. 1.4194 0.06282 124 87 22 15
624 I used to feel like I was on top of my to-do list, but now it's killing me. 1.4194 0.05850 124 83 30 11
625 I got the bill from the acupuncturist today. 1.4194 0.06070 124 85 26 13
626 I won't be into work today. My wife stuck me with the grocery list. 1.4194 0.05850 124 83 30 11
627 So I take it you didn't like the edits? 1.4194 0.05737 124 82 32 10
628 She did leave a note, but no forwarding address. 1.4194 0.06282 124 87 22 15
629 You'll find a note attached from my wife. 1.4194 0.05850 124 83 30 11
630 Your letter pains me. 1.4194 0.05961 124 84 28 12
631 Our new health insurance plan has arrived. 1.4194 0.06070 124 85 26 13
632 Et tu, Wells Fargo? 1.4194 0.06282 124 87 22 15
633 Yes, I'd like to go paperless. 1.4194 0.06282 124 87 22 15
634 Apparently, there is no grace period. 1.4194 0.05737 124 82 32 10
635 As far as prenups go, it could have been worse 1.4194 0.05383 124 79 38 7
636 No I can't hold. 1.4194 0.05961 124 84 28 12
637 Well, let's just say the editor thought the manuscript needed more work. 1.4194 0.05737 124 82 32 10
638 I was pained by your message. 1.4194 0.06177 124 86 24 14
639 The good news is there's a signed confession. 1.4194 0.06070 124 85 26 13
640 Yes, the divorce settlement agreement just arrived. 1.4194 0.06282 124 87 22 15
641 I'd like to place an obituary. 1.4160 0.06030 125 86 26 13
642 It’s like this nagging pain that someone is trying to tell me something. 1.4160 0.05469 125 81 36 8
643 Hello Mom I hate to tell you this, but I think the wedding is off. 1.4160 0.05923 125 85 28 12
644 I'd like to reschedule our couples counseling session 1.4160 0.06137 125 87 24 14
645 No, the divorce isn't quite final yet. 1.4146 0.05528 123 80 35 8
646 Never discuss divorce with an angry Lutheran. 1.4146 0.06316 123 87 21 15
647 Ok.. you made your point... 1.4146 0.05764 123 82 31 10
648 I don’t know. She didn’t even leave a note. 1.4146 0.05406 123 79 37 7
649 The homeowner association left a notice, they said they won't be as friendly next time. 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
650 Is the pre-nup still good if there's a little blood on it? 1.4146 0.05764 123 82 31 10
651 Let's just say she's serious about the divorce. 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
652 This is not what I meant by more direct communication! 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
653 "I don't know... it usually just says 'kick me.' 1.4146 0.05991 123 84 27 12
654 Between C7 and T1 a sharp but relatively shallow pain. 1.4146 0.06101 123 85 25 13
655 What goodbye note? 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
656 It's the thoughts that hurt. 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
657 If I could read it, I wouldn't be calling you. 1.4146 0.06316 123 87 21 15
658 All I said was, "Before the wedding, I think we should take a stab at writing a pre-nup." 1.4146 0.05991 123 84 27 12
659 It says "middle class tax relief".... 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
660 Yes, I'd like to file a complaint about how my newspaper is being delivered. 1.4146 0.06316 123 87 21 15
661 Honey, I would sign the divorce papers if I could reach them. 1.4146 0.05764 123 82 31 10
662 Yes her depression has lifted significantly since she's been practicing her direct communication skills. 1.4146 0.05991 123 84 27 12
663 Roman Catholic. Why do you ask? 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
664 No I can’t read what it says 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
665 Hello, Jim. Can we rewrite the prenuptial agreement? 1.4146 0.06209 123 86 23 14
666 I'd like to report a...yes, I'll hold. 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
667 Yes dear, I did hear from your lawyer. 1.4132 0.05588 121 79 34 8
668 I think I said "more backstory" one too many times. 1.4132 0.06061 121 83 26 12
669 That's right. I was attacked by a Lutheran. 1.4132 0.06174 121 84 24 13
670 No, I haven't read it yet but I think I've got the general concept. 1.4132 0.06393 121 86 20 15
671 Yes, I would like to change my notification settings. 1.4132 0.06605 121 88 16 17
672 I saw her reviewing the prenup, but I can't see whether she signed it. 1.4132 0.06174 121 84 24 13
673 No...she's not here, but she left a note. 1.4132 0.06061 121 83 26 12
674 No, it does not say "kick me". 1.4132 0.05829 121 81 30 10
675 I've been stabbed in the back before, but never by an English major. 1.4132 0.05829 121 81 30 10
676 Yes, I'd like to report a Reformation. 1.4132 0.06061 121 83 26 12
677 I meant attach the document to an email. 1.4132 0.05336 121 77 38 6
678 Yes dear, the divorce papers have arrived. 1.4132 0.05946 121 82 28 11
679 Well, let's just say she wasn't too thrilled when I showed her the prenup. 1.4132 0.05946 121 82 28 11
680 I'd like to opt out of notifications, please 1.4132 0.06174 121 84 24 13
681 In my opinion the cancellation penalty is a bit harsh. 1.4118 0.05522 119 77 35 7
682 Frank...its Tom. What's the customary way of serving divorce papers? 1.4118 0.06133 119 82 25 12
683 No, divorce is when they stab you in the heart. This is just your standard student loans. 1.4118 0.05775 119 79 31 9
684 Well, I did ask him to take a stab at the speech. 1.4118 0.06133 119 82 25 12
685 She can't come to the phone right now. She's simmering. 1.4118 0.05775 119 79 31 9
686 Sam, She signed the divorce papers. 1.4118 0.06016 119 81 27 11
687 I can’t read it but I know it must be important. 1.4118 0.05897 119 80 29 10
688 An email would have been sufficient. 1.4118 0.05650 119 78 33 8
689 No, I don't know what it says but I think she's upset. 1.4118 0.05897 119 80 29 10
690 "Middle class tax cuts". This isn't what I had in mind. 1.4118 0.06472 119 85 19 15
691 I'd like to get something off my back. 1.4118 0.05775 119 79 31 9
692 Ok. You can go back to using all caps to get my attention. 1.4118 0.06361 119 84 21 14
693 It turns out, I do have a backbone. 1.4118 0.06016 119 81 27 11
694 I'm not that Harvey Weinstein. 1.4113 0.05840 124 84 29 11
695 She signed the pre-nup. Now what? 1.4098 0.05907 122 83 28 11
696 You said the charges would not stick. 1.4098 0.06132 122 85 24 13
697 Yes, Congress has taken a stab at tax reform. 1.4098 0.06242 122 86 22 14
698 Yes, hello. I'd like to sign up to receive my statements online. 1.4098 0.05673 122 81 32 9
699 I'd call it more of a stabbing pain... 1.4098 0.06242 122 86 22 14
700 No, I didn’t misuse the word ‘literally.’ 1.4098 0.06021 122 84 26 12
701 And can you send those refrigerator magnets with expedited shipping? 1.4098 0.05791 122 82 30 10
702 I think maybe my wife found a letter from my mistress. 1.4098 0.05791 122 82 30 10
703 I would love to join you Bob , but I have to conquer this to do list before it kills me. 1.4098 0.05907 122 83 28 11
704 Let's just say she wouldn't sign the prenup... 1.4098 0.06349 122 87 20 15
705 I'm pretty sure the prenup is a nonstarter. 1.4098 0.06021 122 84 26 12
706 Never mind. I just received it. 1.4098 0.05907 122 83 28 11
707 Got your note. A simple "yes" or "no" text would have been sufficient. 1.4098 0.05429 122 79 36 7
708 No, I don’t think this is going to be an amicable divorce. 1.4098 0.05791 122 82 30 10
709 Frankly, in retrospect, I would have preferred a Dear John text! 1.4098 0.06242 122 86 22 14
710 Do you remember where you put my will? 1.4098 0.06349 122 87 20 15
711 I think she's moved from cloak to dagger 1.4083 0.05976 120 82 27 11
712 I would like to cancel the paper delivery. 1.4083 0.06206 120 84 23 13
713 Yeah, I got the memo. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
714 The cable bill came. Apparently, our promotional rate ended. 1.4068 0.06165 118 82 24 12
715 The worst part is the prose is terrible. 1.4068 0.06046 118 81 26 11
716 Don't believe the suicide note. 1.4068 0.06281 118 83 22 13
717 I never thought receiving a 'Dear John' letter would hurt so much. 1.4068 0.05676 118 78 32 8
718 Yes, they've definitely pinned it on me. 1.4068 0.05547 118 77 34 7
719 She didn't sign the prenup. 1.4068 0.06281 118 83 22 13
720 It took a wee bit of compromise, but I finally got her to sign them. 1.4068 0.06165 118 82 24 12
721 Honey, did you say you left me a grocery list somewhere? 1.4068 0.06165 118 82 24 12
722 I just didn't think this was what they meant by "middle-class tax cut." 1.4068 0.06396 118 84 20 14
723 Et tu, Alice 1.4068 0.06165 118 82 24 12
724 I'm sensing this goes deeper than just words. 1.4068 0.05676 118 78 32 8
725 Hello, Jake from State Farm? 1.4068 0.06281 118 83 22 13
726 No, I don't mean that metaphorically. 1.4068 0.06046 118 81 26 11
727 Sorry, but I'll have to skip the game today. Marge just reminded me of a few things on the "to do" list. 1.4068 0.06165 118 82 24 12
728 I think the attacker may have left a note. 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
729 Sure I can hold. 1.4052 0.06241 116 81 23 12
730 Well, we've certainly moved past 'idle threats'. How are you? 1.4052 0.06591 116 84 17 15
731 He said his name was Luther. Martin Luther. L-u-t-h-e-r. 1.4052 0.06360 116 82 21 13
732 Your mother has 95 complaints against me and it hurts. 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
733 I'm quite certain she's not coming back 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
734 Judging from the way I was served, I suspect divorce is no longer just an idle threat. 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
735 Yes, officer, she did leave a note before she went missing. 1.4052 0.06241 116 81 23 12
736 I think we're out of post-it notes. 1.4052 0.05869 116 78 29 9
737 Ok. OK! I'll switch to e-billing. 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
738 If you think the Jehovah's Witnesses are bad, wait until you see these Lutherans. 1.4052 0.06241 116 81 23 12
739 No mom. I think it's more of a 'dear Julius' letter. 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
740 I want to file a complaint about your process server 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
741 I take it you didn't like my edits. 1.4052 0.05192 116 73 39 4
742 Yes, I'm fairly certain the divorce papers have arrived. 1.4052 0.05740 116 77 31 8
743 You win. You lawyer is better than mine. 1.4052 0.05473 116 75 35 6
744 Hello John? My wife finally signed the divorce papers. 1.4052 0.05740 116 77 31 8
745 I’m telling you, there’s a contract out on me. 1.4052 0.06360 116 82 21 13
746 I'm guessing they thought our offer was a little low. 1.4052 0.05740 116 77 31 8
747 I'd like to report a threatening letter. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
748 No, she did not sign the divorce papers. 1.4052 0.05869 116 78 29 9
749 I think we're beyond mediation. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
750 Yes, the divorce is now final. 1.4052 0.06591 116 84 17 15
751 No, I don't mean that figuratively. 1.4052 0.06360 116 82 21 13
752 Hello, I would like to report a heretic. 1.4052 0.06360 116 82 21 13
753 It's more of a "Honey Don't" list 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
754 Unfortunately, I can confirm his story about why he didn't turn in his homework. 1.4052 0.06477 116 83 19 14
755 No, I can't read them, but I'm pretty sure they're divorce papers. 1.4052 0.06704 116 85 15 16
756 You're going to have to read it for me but I got the gist. 1.4052 0.05740 116 77 31 8
757 Couldn’t you have just texted me? 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
758 I had hoped she'd file divorce papers, but it still hurts. 1.4052 0.06241 116 81 23 12
759 I feel as though she doesn't want to talk about it 1.4052 0.05869 116 78 29 9
760 You win. Can I pay on the phone? 1.4052 0.05740 116 77 31 8
761 I'd like to start getting my phone bill by email. 1.4052 0.06241 116 81 23 12
762 I think I have just been served. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
763 Apparently, I failed to agree with the terms of service. 1.4035 0.06068 114 78 26 10
764 Yes, I guess she could have used a Post-it note. 1.4035 0.06068 114 78 26 10
765 Yes, he left of demands. No, I can’t read them to you. 1.4035 0.05939 114 77 28 9
766 I believe my wife might be filing for divorce. 1.4035 0.05672 114 75 32 7
767 I'm not sure, what does a Dear John letter look like? 1.4035 0.06068 114 78 26 10
768 This time I think she's serious about her to do list. 1.4035 0.06319 114 80 22 12
769 She served the divorce papers this morning. 1.4017 0.06197 117 82 23 12
770 I'm not sure what are his demands are, but he definitely has my attention. 1.3982 0.06227 113 79 23 11
771 It seems we've run out of post it notes. 1.3982 0.05557 113 74 33 6
772 Honey, I'm painfully aware of your to-do list. 1.3982 0.06353 113 80 21 12
773 Yes, Maude, I got your text, email and the letter stuck to the knife in my back. Thanks for checking. 1.3982 0.06227 113 79 23 11
774 I got your note but haven't been able to read it yet. 1.3982 0.05557 113 74 33 6
775 I can’t get my hands on that document right now. 1.3982 0.06099 113 78 25 10
776 Fine, Lois, I'll sign, but one point is still bothering me. 1.3982 0.05557 113 74 33 6
777 One student really nailed his thesis on Martin Luther. 1.3982 0.05968 113 77 27 9
778 Sorry, you just missed her. 1.3982 0.05968 113 77 27 9
779 I think she’s serious about this divorce thing. 1.3982 0.06099 113 78 25 10
780 Okay...I got the point...what's the message? 1.3982 0.06099 113 78 25 10
781 Unsubscribe 1.3982 0.06353 113 80 21 12
782 No. What "Dear John" letter? 1.3982 0.05697 113 75 31 7
783 Arlene was less than enthusiastic when I asked her to sign a prenuptial agreement. 1.3982 0.06227 113 79 23 11
784 Sheila, where did you put the divorce papers? 1.3982 0.06476 113 81 19 13
785 My sense is we still don't have agreement on the terms. 1.3982 0.05968 113 77 27 9
786 I have a feeling this divorce procedure is going to be more acrimonious than we thought. 1.3982 0.05557 113 74 33 6
787 You can just go back to slipping the menus under the door. 1.3982 0.05697 113 75 31 7
788 She has a few more amendments to the Prenup. 1.3964 0.06685 111 81 16 14
789 Yes, she is serious about the divorce. 1.3964 0.05904 111 75 28 8
790 I think the trial separation ship has sailed. 1.3964 0.06561 111 80 18 13
791 that note you let...I'm having difficulty reading it. 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
792 Did I get the pre-nup back? Yea, I got the pre-nup back. 1.3964 0.06306 111 78 22 11
793 Yes dear, I got your note. 1.3964 0.05904 111 75 28 8
794 After she presented me the papers, I said “Why don’t you just go ahead and stab me back while you’re at it?” Boy, am I glad I didn’t say anything about testicles! 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
795 Hello. Is Martin Luther there? 1.3964 0.06435 111 79 20 12
796 Well, the good news is that I'm on the front page... 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
797 Well, the good news is she finally signed the divorce papers. 1.3964 0.05904 111 75 28 8
798 OK, so just what DOES constitute "irreconcilable differences? 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
799 Your mother stopped by and left you a note. 1.3964 0.06435 111 79 20 12
800 My wife says she was inspired by Martin Luther. 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
801 Yes, they are sharp words dear, but I do get the point. 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
802 You put the instructions on the back of what? 1.3964 0.06306 111 78 22 11
803 No, counseling is not an option. 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
804 hello Amazon, I'd like to report a drone misfire 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
805 What divorce papers?! 1.3964 0.06306 111 78 22 11
806 Occasionally, the sword is actually mightier than the pen. 1.3964 0.05620 111 73 32 6
807 I can't come in today -- I'm stuck at home. 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
808 I don't think my fiance is going to sign those prenuptial papers. 1.3964 0.05904 111 75 28 8
809 The divorce is final and I got the cutlery! 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
810 I’ve heard from your lawyer. 1.3964 0.06306 111 78 22 11
811 Don't expect me to take this lying down. 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
812 So then I said, I would rather stick a knife through my back than sign this contract 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
813 A Post-It would have been perfectly adequate. 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
814 They did send a rather pointed message. 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
815 My wife took a stab at filing for divorce. 1.3945 0.06388 109 77 21 11
816 All I said to her is, I can't believe you have all those issues with me, I would like to see a list! 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
817 Yes, she's just given me feedback on the settlement. 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
818 He left me this really passive aggressive note. 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
819 'I don't think it's a love letter; more like a list of grievances...' 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
820 I didn't get to read it yet, but I have a sneakng suspicion this is their final notice . 1.3945 0.06520 109 78 19 12
821 I'd like to report an overzealous process server. 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
822 Yes, her attorney just served me with the divorce papers. 1.3945 0.06388 109 77 21 11
823 I think someone in the office might be a back stabber. 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
824 . . .she was quite pointed with her demands. 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
825 But the good news, my darling, is that she finally signed the divorce papers. 1.3945 0.06388 109 77 21 11
826 Yes, I'd like to cancel my home delivery service. 1.3945 0.05533 109 71 33 5
827 The wedding is still on, but she’d like a few changes in the prenup. 1.3945 0.06520 109 78 19 12
828 I want out. This contract is killing me. 1.3945 0.05684 109 72 31 6
829 So I assume an amicable divorce is out of the question? 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
830 Not sure yet , but I think she wants a divorce 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
831 And THEN he said, 'if you have already made a payment, please disregard this reminder'... 1.3945 0.05684 109 72 31 6
832 I'm calling to complain about your process server. 1.3945 0.05832 109 73 29 7
833 No officer, I haven't had a chance to read the ransom note yet. 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
834 Hello, Equifax? I've got some lingering questions about the 'Terms of Service Agreement' that your special courier just delivered. 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
835 I thought we agreed to bury the hatchet. 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
836 I'm not sure what it says 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
837 Hi, can you help me change my delivery preferences? 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
838 No, she's not coming back. I haven't read the note yet, but the signs are pretty clear. 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
839 Yes, I feel the criticism was very pointed. 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
840 No, I don't think it's going to be amicable. 1.3929 0.06130 112 78 24 10
841 No, I haven't seen your 10 page letter about me being insensitive and unfeeling. 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
842 Yes, She gave me the divorce papers...a few minutes ago...No, I need to talk to a doctor before I sign anything. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
843 I think it's time to ditch the landline. The bill is literally killing me. 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
844 Why yes, she did leave a note... 1.3925 0.05902 107 72 28 7
845 I got a rather pointed response. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
846 I'm tired of always getting stuck with a long list of chores. 1.3925 0.05902 107 72 28 7
847 Wittenberg Residence 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
848 Where did you leave it? 1.3925 0.05902 107 72 28 7
849 No need to come to the E.R. Mr. Jones, that’s just the new middle class tax cuts your feeling. 1.3925 0.06869 107 79 14 14
850 I have a great back story to tell you, if only I could get around to it. 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
851 Apparently I have been served. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
852 As if the knife in the back wasn't self explanatory. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
853 Yes dear you made your point, words do hurt. 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
854 No, I haven't seen your note yet, but I have a feeling about it. 1.3925 0.05751 107 71 30 6
855 Kushner speaking. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
856 ...but the good news is she signed the divorce papers. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
857 A back due notice has been brought to my attention. 1.3925 0.05902 107 72 28 7
858 Are you saying you don' t want to give marriage counseling a go? 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
859 It's not that she broke it off, it's the way she did it that hurts more than anything else 1.3925 0.05751 107 71 30 6
860 Yes, I’m calling him a back-stabber. No, I don’t mean it metaphorically. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
861 My wife makes a strong point 1.3925 0.05751 107 71 30 6
862 I'd like to report a malicious posting. 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
863 Yup, the back pain is getting worse, and I still can't find the will. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
864 Can't you just leave a message on my voicemail like everyone else? 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
865 I jokingly told her to take a stab at it. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
866 It’s just a feeling I have 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
867 So, do you remember when he promised he’d take care of us…health insurance for everybody…tax cuts for the middle class..? 1.3925 0.06996 107 80 12 15
868 It's a rather threatening note. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
869 My back hurts and, no, I did't see your stupid note 1.3909 0.06470 110 79 19 12
870 Is this the Anger Management Hotline? 1.3889 0.06556 108 78 18 12
871 Describe my symptoms? Well, I'm feeling a little listless, and there's a stabbing pain in my back. 1.3889 0.05859 108 73 28 7
872 This new ‘Rate Your Professor’ interface is problematic. 1.3889 0.06422 108 77 20 11
873 Hey Roger, so let me tell you how that whole prenup issue went over.... 1.3889 0.06422 108 77 20 11
874 I just got the newest version of the tax reform bill. 1.3889 0.06005 108 74 26 8
875 Well, the divorce is final. 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
876 I'd like to stop my mail please. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
877 No, things are not improving at work. 1.3868 0.06645 106 77 17 12
878 I think she means it, this time. 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
879 You couldn't have had a sheriff's deputy deliver the divorce papers like everyone else? 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
880 I think because of my rogue apostrophes. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
881 I'd like to report what I think is a hate crime. 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
882 I think it’s just a paper cut. 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
883 No, I haven't read your letter, but I get the point. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
884 Yes, an ambulance and a pen. 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
885 Yes, I did receive your previous message, thank you. 1.3868 0.05777 106 71 29 6
886 Hold off on the ice sculpture. The pre-nup seems to have ticked her off a bit. 1.3868 0.06645 106 77 17 12
887 On second thought I've decided to accept all the editorial suggestions. 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
888 I laughed when she said it was an unauthorized autobiography. 1.3868 0.06508 106 76 19 11
889 I would like to order a refrigerator 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
890 I'd like to switch my subscription to "Online Only" please. 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
891 Honey, I'm sorry to bother you at work but where did you leave the grocery shopping list?? 1.3868 0.07039 106 80 11 15
892 What––you couldn't just text? 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
893 My acupuncturist made a point of informing me of his cancellation policy. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
894 You know that spot right in the middle of your back that you just can't reach? 1.3868 0.05619 106 70 31 5
895 Hi, Bob. Can you come over and read something for me? 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
896 The kids are taking their Reformation studies a little too seriously. 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
897 Oh, no! You're not pinning this one on me! 1.3868 0.06508 106 76 19 11
898 Yes, I received your attachment. 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
899 I sense you've been letting things build up again. 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
900 The complaints may be justified, but not the delivery. 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
901 Yes, dear, but I haven't read it yet! 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
902 Can you recommend a good lawyer? I'm sure it's going to be a bitter divorce. 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
903 Well, regardless of whether their demand list is reasonable, I have a small issue with the delivery method. 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
904 Mrs. Luther, please come pick up Marty. He’s totally out of control. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
905 I can't. I'm stuck at home. 1.3868 0.06508 106 76 19 11
906 What do you mean, "Is there a backstory?" 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
907 I don't think this is how arbitration is supposed to work. 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
908 I guess this finalizes our divorce. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
909 We're out of Post-it notes again. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
910 Yes, dear. I got your note. It came as quite a surprise. 1.3868 0.05619 106 70 31 5
911 Honey, Do you know what happened to the "to do" list I left for you on the refrigerator? 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
912 I'm sorry I don't have it in front of me but I can only assume I'm in serious trouble. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
913 I think she took the kids, the silver and most of the cutlery. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
914 Well, I don’t know. How would YOU define ‘emergency’? 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
915 I got your note, but I'm having a hard time seeing your perspective. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
916 I simply asked if they had any Girl Scout cookies that were vegan, gluten free, made in a factory without nuts, and if they were ethically sourced. 1.3846 0.05847 104 70 28 6
917 Yes, it is a bad time. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
918 It was Admiral Arthur with the Hunting Knife in the Library just as I finished the manuscript. Please send an ambulance. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
919 Why yes, I did receive your killer memorandum. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
920 Divorce papers? Of course I would know if I had been served with divorce papers. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
921 The news is killing me. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
922 Yes, apparently, my wife has her own list of 95 grievances. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
923 Yes, Mary left me a dear John letter, but I can’t put my hands on it. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
924 Do you recall what we did with the 'Do Not Resuscitate' forms? 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
925 I'm getting so much resistance from behind. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
926 Hey... So I got your message 1.3846 0.05847 104 70 28 6
927 Please cancel my subscription immediately. 1.3846 0.06737 104 76 16 12
928 Exactly what did you mean when you said, "I've got your back?" 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
929 I have not read the fine print, no. 1.3846 0.05847 104 70 28 6
930 What's black and white and red all over? 1.3846 0.06737 104 76 16 12
931 Yes, I got your list of demands. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
932 No, the handwriting is definitely not on the wall. 1.3846 0.06737 104 76 16 12
933 I'd like to report a malicious posting. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
934 Well, the ‘Honey Do’ List isn’t so passive-aggressive any more. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
935 I got the note. 1.3846 0.06874 104 77 14 13
936 It was how she delivered the papers that really stung. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
937 911? Help! I just received the tax reform bill. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
938 You had me at "goodbye." 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
939 Yes, the divorce papers arrived. Was she angry? I couldn't tell... 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
940 So I guess couple's therapy is out of the question. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
941 You left a note? What note? 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
942 Hello Anton Press, I just got your rejection of my short story and it was very hurtful. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
943 In the future, can you just e-mail me? 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
944 Let me fill you in on my backstory, which is quite painful to discuss. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
945 I just thought the vacuum cleaner was the perfect present. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
946 I gotta tell you, these itemized bills are killing me. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
947 With all due respect Sir, these back taxes are killing me 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
948 Apparently it's gone beyond just cleaning his litter box more often. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
949 Martin Luther, please. Yes, I’ll hold. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
950 She served the divorce papers. Something tells me this is going to be nasty. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
951 I'm looking for a policy that covers a coexisting condition. 1.3846 0.06737 104 76 16 12
952 She says I've no feelings. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
953 I"m not sure, but I suspect it's a "Dear John" letter. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
954 I guess Mueller is serious about wanting me to come testify. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
955 Yeah, it's the new Obamacare repeal bill. Can't the doctor see me before Tuesday? 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
956 All I said was "I don't think a President should tweet". 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
957 I think I've been served. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
958 Martin, for the 95th time, your thesis proposal was not accepted. 1.3832 0.06457 107 77 19 11
959 Good news. We can set the date. My wife signed the divorce papers. 1.3824 0.05919 102 69 27 6
960 I'm not angry, it just hurts. 1.3824 0.06542 102 73 19 10
961 I haven’t gotten around to reading it. 1.3824 0.05919 102 69 27 6
962 Their reply was pointed, to say the least. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
963 I don't know what the terms of divorce are, but they sure hurt. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
964 I have the feeling that a number of pointed remarks were made about me behind my back 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
965 Get me my lawyer. And my doctor. 1.3824 0.05919 102 69 27 6
966 I'll go ahead and shoot you a reply. 1.3824 0.06689 102 74 17 11
967 Yes, dear, it hurts more than acupuncture. 1.3824 0.05581 102 67 31 4
968 The divorce papers just arrived. 1.3824 0.06542 102 73 19 10
969 I have questions about your terms and conditions. 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
970 No, I think this time she really means it. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
971 A PDF would have sufficed. 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
972 Yes,thank you, I received your demands but I can't actually read them. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
973 I’ve tried to read it in the mirror, but the print is backwards. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
974 No, I think I can state with some certainty that she won't sign the prenuptial agreement you prepared? 1.3824 0.06689 102 74 17 11
975 Yes, he is a back stabber. Why do you ask? 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
976 911? Yeah, I've got this stabbing pain in my divorce papers... er, back... 1.3824 0.05919 102 69 27 6
977 No, she left a few minutes ago, but she did leave a homocide note. 1.3824 0.06542 102 73 19 10
978 Hi sweetie, where did you say you put the grocery list? 1.3824 0.06542 102 73 19 10
979 I received your final notice. 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
980 I'm not denying that I owe the money. I'm taking issue with your collection methods. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
981 It would be easier to read if you'd just left it on the nightstand. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
982 I'm assuming my manuscript was rejected. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
983 I said I'll take a stab at paying the bills. Then she said she had a better idea. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
984 I'd like to make a back payment. 1.3824 0.06542 102 73 19 10
985 I just got served with divorce papers. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
986 Note? What note? 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
987 I think she's serious this time. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
988 The divorce is going about as well as I expected. 1.3824 0.05919 102 69 27 6
989 I haven't read it yet, but I think she wants a divorce. 1.3824 0.06689 102 74 17 11
990 She not signing the pre nup. 1.3824 0.06832 102 75 15 12
991 Yes the knife hurts, but the disclaimers are killing me. 1.3824 0.06542 102 73 19 10
992 Yes, she got back to me on the proposed changes to the prenup. 1.3824 0.06542 102 73 19 10
993 Hey - I need for you to come over,and read something to me. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
994 No, it’s more of a stabbing pain. 1.3824 0.06689 102 74 17 11
995 She left. She wouldn't sign the prenup. 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
996 You could have used tape. 1.3824 0.06542 102 73 19 10
997 I’d like to report a death by fake news. 1.3810 0.06258 105 74 22 9
998 Marjorie, I'm having trouble reading your to-do list. 1.3810 0.06258 105 74 22 9
999 When she said, “I’ve got your back,” I thought it was a good thing. 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
1000 These manuscript rejections are killing me. 1.3800 0.05646 100 66 30 4
1001 I'm sure there's an emoticon that would have worked just as well. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
1002 Hello, Roman Times? About your paper boy, Brutus... 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
1003 It's for me but I can't read it. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1004 I'M CALLING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW YOUR PAPER IS DELIVERED!! 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
1005 At this moment it's a little difficult to read the fine print. 1.3800 0.05993 100 68 26 6
1006 What letter? 1.3800 0.05993 100 68 26 6
1007 So much for "The Art of the Deal." 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
1008 All I remember was that he looked like a monk 1.3800 0.06931 100 74 14 12
1009 I got your message and I feel your pain. 1.3800 0.05822 100 67 28 5
1010 Sorry , I will not be in today, my marriage is going through a reformation. 1.3800 0.05993 100 68 26 6
1011 To add insult to injury, they charged me with carrying a concealed weapon! 1.3800 0.06931 100 74 14 12
1012 I'm sorry I have to cancel our poker game tonight, Charlie, but I just got an urgent note from my wife that forces me to change plans. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1013 Tell the Pope that Luther is at it again 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
1014 My wife’s to do list is killing me. 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
1015 Hello, I would like to request a retraction. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1016 I got your note and just want to let you know I feel your pain. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1017 You could say our relationship ended on a bad note. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1018 Sorry, Martin Luther just left. 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
1019 I think she’s serious about the divorce this time. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1020 I'm sorry sir, but we don't cover backstabbing 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
1021 Hello,9-1-1? I think I just received a death threat. 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
1022 The new tax regulations are here. 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
1023 Hi, I just received my health care plan renewal notice, and I have a few questions. 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
1024 Yes, I received your Final Demand notice. 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
1025 Hi Hon. I used two mirrors to read your letter. You seem angry. 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
1026 Yes, I’ve been served the divorce papers. No, I haven’t had a chance to read them yet. 1.3800 0.06931 100 74 14 12
1027 I get your point...but I'm not happy about it! 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
1028 I'd like to order a mirror, please. 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
1029 It says 'Kick me,' more or less. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
1030 Yes, she delivered the divorce papers this morning. 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
1031 He said, "You've been served....oh, and your wife wants the knife back" 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1032 The divorce papers came today. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1033 Can I please speak to a Doctor of Letters? 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
1034 Yes. The divorce papers just arrived. 1.3786 0.05708 103 69 29 5
1035 I liked your manuscript it's spine tingling. 1.3786 0.06188 103 72 23 8
1036 No, dear, I am just saying that's what refrigerator magnets are for. 1.3786 0.06033 103 71 25 7
1037 Yes, I got my wife's list of grievances. 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
1038 I'd like to order a bulletin board for my wife. 1.3786 0.06188 103 72 23 8
1039 Emergency ? I have a list of demands attached to my back with a knife . I would like to know what the demands are. 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
1040 I get your point. 1.3786 0.05873 103 70 27 6
1041 Brute? Et Tu? 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
1042 I’d like to switch to auto-pay. 1.3786 0.06634 103 75 17 11
1043 I found your note. Are you mad at me? 1.3786 0.06033 103 71 25 7
1044 The difference is that Luther nailed his doctrines on a CHURCH DOOR! 1.3774 0.06352 106 76 20 10
1045 No, I haven't read your message 1.3762 0.06426 101 72 20 9
1046 Yeah, I got your message. It's just a little hard to read. 1.3750 0.06139 104 73 23 8
1047 I made some good points, but his presentation was far more compelling. 1.3750 0.05827 104 71 27 6
1048 No, this time I think she's really gone. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1049 If that's your demand letter, I'd hate to see your cease-and-desist. 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
1050 Hello, Mr. Luther? Did you not see me standing in the doorway? 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1051 Can you repost Martin's document as a pdf? 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1052 Yes Mother, I received my divorce papers. As a matter-of-fact she was kind enough to deliver them in person. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1053 On second thought, I'd prefer the online edition only. 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
1054 Hold on, I just got a text. 1.3737 0.06671 99 72 17 10
1055 If I had to guess, I'd say it was a contract killing... 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1056 Or, you could just e-mail me 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
1057 I'm calling to unsubscribe from your newsletter 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1058 Tell me it doesn't say 'Kick Me'! 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1059 Stabbing me in the back wasn't enough, Stanley? You had to add the notes from the morning meeting? 1.3737 0.06671 99 72 17 10
1060 Yes, baby doll, I marched right in and demanded a divorce. Then, as I marched out, she made an excellent point. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1061 Yeah... I think they're really serious about this eviction notice. 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
1062 I just feel that the GOP is taking ‘death and taxes’ a bit too literally with this new bill 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1063 Honey, you're going to kill me, but I can't find the grocery list again. 1.3737 0.06671 99 72 17 10
1064 I have a feeling she really means it this time! 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1065 I think it's time we switched to electronic bill delivery. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1066 I don't think the terms are negotiable. 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
1067 It isn't a very good severance package. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1068 Yes, I got my performance review today. 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
1069 Honey...where is that note that said why you are leaving me? 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1070 But Mr. Luther, I'm not even Catholic? 1.3737 0.06671 99 72 17 10
1071 Hello, 911? I have a feeling that the mob put a contract out on me. 1.3737 0.06671 99 72 17 10
1072 Who do I talk to about someone posting a hate message? 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
1073 About your final notice... 1.3737 0.05847 99 67 27 5
1074 Well, no, I didn't read it yet, but something tells me it's bad. 1.3737 0.06671 99 72 17 10
1075 Yeah, I think she's really serious this time. 1.3737 0.06671 99 72 17 10
1076 I need an appointment to review a legal document; today would be great. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1077 I got your divorce papers. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1078 I need to speak to the attorney, my wife just served me papers! 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1079 I think she's really serious about the divorce! 1.3737 0.06973 99 74 13 12
1080 Consider me served. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1081 The job started ok but now the paperwork's killing me. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1082 Remember what she said about sticking it to me? 1.3737 0.05847 99 67 27 5
1083 I'd like to register a complaint about your subpoena service. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1084 Let's keep the date. My wife just filed for divorce. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1085 I DO know what you mean, the news is killing me too! 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1086 Remember that idea you had for sticky notes? 1.3737 0.05847 99 67 27 5
1087 Mildred, did you see the suicide note I left by the phone this morning? 1.3737 0.06671 99 72 17 10
1088 She doesn't suspect a thing. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1089 I'd like to report a contract killing. 1.3737 0.05847 99 67 27 5
1090 She's hired very assertive divorce lawyers. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
1091 It went better than I thought. She brought over the divorce papers to sign, gave me a big old hug and out the door she went. 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
1092 I think I'm going to agree to counseling. She's made it pointedly clear that we have much to discuss. 1.3736 0.06565 91 64 20 7
1093 Yes, Mrs. Jones, technically Billy did turn in his homework... 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1094 Yes, dear, I got the divorce papers...nice touch on the Process Server. 1.3711 0.06606 97 70 18 9
1095 911 - this is a contractual emergency 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
1096 Yes, I think I got the message. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1097 Yes, she just finished the chapter on the Protestant Reformation. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1098 Your mother stopped by. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1099 Just tell him I got the message! 1.3711 0.06606 97 70 18 9
1100 Hello, may I speak to Martin Luther? 1.3711 0.06606 97 70 18 9
1101 Her actions speak louder than her words. 1.3711 0.06767 97 71 16 10
1102 No golf today guys, my wife has stuck me with a To Do List. 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
1103 Not to worry, dear, it's just where you left it. 1.3711 0.05736 97 65 28 4
1104 No. I am sorry you missed her. She just left. 1.3711 0.05546 97 64 30 3
1105 I haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty sure she's claiming irreconcilable differences. 1.3711 0.05920 97 66 26 5
1106 I'm sure my wife left a reminder. I'll look around for it. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1107 Sweetie, it seems you forgot to sign the prenup. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1108 Honey. It's me. I can't seem to find your to-do list anywhere. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1109 I thought the next step after Mediation was Arbitration. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1110 Well yes, she did really drive the point home. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1111 Hello-Cheryl? Yeah, I think my wife knows about us. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1112 I am not insensitive. 1.3711 0.06767 97 71 16 10
1113 I get that you are upset with me. But this is not how we communicate in the digital age. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1114 I can't read it, but I don't think it's good. 1.3711 0.05736 97 65 28 4
1115 Tell them I'm ready to settle 1.3711 0.06606 97 70 18 9
1116 No, I have not been able to read the note yet ... 1.3711 0.06924 97 72 14 11
1117 Hi, she wouldn't sign the prenup. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1118 Stop being a grammar Nazi, I know what “literally” means. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1119 Let’s just say she didn’t sign the NDA, Mr Weinstein 1.3711 0.06924 97 72 14 11
1120 I need you to come over read read something to me. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1121 I get your point. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1122 I'm starting to think she's serious about getting that divorce. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1123 Yeah, I need an appointment with Dr. Wallace. I've got a suspicious subpoena on my back I want him to take a look at. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1124 Okay, but that's not what people usually mean when they say "I'm gonna stick it to you!" 1.3711 0.06767 97 71 16 10
1125 I’m calling about the ‘offer I can’t refuse’... 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
1126 I'm just trying to put the whole thing behind me. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1127 So I presented the prenup you suggested... 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
1128 I have been looking dear- I can't find it anywhere! 1.3711 0.06606 97 70 18 9
1129 I'll try to make sense of the thing, but it's going to be a reach. 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
1130 No, I haven't read the note. Were you listening when I talked about the knife? 1.3700 0.07199 100 77 9 14
1131 This metaphor is killing me. 1.3700 0.06301 100 71 21 8
1132 I agree in principle, but there is still one sticking point. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
1133 Bad news....The IRS stuck me with back taxes again. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1134 I've had a hunch that my days as a powerful, white male were numbered, but now I'm quite certain. 1.3684 0.05996 95 65 25 5
1135 Hello, 911, my wife is missing. She left me a note, but I can't read it. 1.3684 0.05610 95 63 29 3
1136 You make a good point. 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1137 "What note"? 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
1138 Yes. I did get the divorce papers from your lawyer. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1139 The IRS have changed their notification methods. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
1140 yes dear, I think I got the point 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1141 She hired a Lutheran lawyer. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1142 Is it valid service of process if they left it where I can't see it? 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1143 "OK, you've convinced me to go with paperless bills.". 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1144 You could have done this via voicemail... 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1145 "if this is what you meant when you said 'you'll have my back' it's time to end our relationship 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1146 Late payments department? I’d like to set up online billing, please. 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1147 By the way, World of Cutlery has responded to our letter of complaint. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1148 Yes, Mom, I suppose it is poetic. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1149 I’m trying not to take my performance review personally. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1150 Hi Honey. Do you remember what you did with that pre-nup I asked you to sign? 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1151 I think you know the point of this call. 1.3684 0.05806 95 64 27 4
1152 This one appears to be enforceable. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1153 I have this bad feeling that my manuscript was rejected. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1154 Just tell the doctor that I need to know how to delete a message. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1155 I'd like to report a delivery problem. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1156 There's one point in the contract I wasn't too crazy about. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1157 Yes, I’m aware it’s March 15th. 1.3684 0.05996 95 65 25 5
1158 I think that I must have said "Fake News" too many times. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1159 Mark, if you wanted me to read your new screenplay, you could have just asked. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1160 He said it was too important to put into an e-mail. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1161 About that comment you made yesterday that "You had my back"... 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1162 Please tell Mr. Luther I received his 95 complaints. 1.3684 0.06867 95 70 15 10
1163 "You certainly made your point!!! 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1164 I found your note. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1165 Yes, a sharp pain just below the payment due amount. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1166 Barbara, it's one thing to stab me in the back, but lying about leaving me a letter takes the cake. 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1167 No mom, she means it this time. She stuck me with divorce papers. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1168 And you say I can't remove it without paying early termination fees? 1.3684 0.06867 95 70 15 10
1169 No mom, it's not my imagine. There's no doubt in my mind Claire wants a divorce. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1170 Honey, I've been served. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1171 But everyone defaults on student loans 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1172 Your lawyer just visited and served the divorce papers 1.3684 0.07028 95 71 13 11
1173 She said the document was attached, but I don't see it. 1.3684 0.07185 95 72 11 12
1174 I'm sorry Mr. President, but I don't think as the FBI Director I should be expected to sign your loyalty pledge. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1175 No, I didn't read "Terms and Conditions" before clicking "I agree." 1.3684 0.06867 95 70 15 10
1176 It all started with simple 'kick me' signs taped to my back. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1177 Yes Doris I was served with the divorce papers papers. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1178 I think I get your point. 1.3684 0.05610 95 63 29 3
1179 So is that a hard 'No' to getting back together? 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1180 Dying. What are you doing? 1.3673 0.06387 98 70 20 8
1181 What if you don't actually touch the subpoena? 1.3673 0.06549 98 71 18 9
1182 His message has a point. 1.3673 0.06220 98 69 22 7
1183 Well, the divorce is final. 1.3673 0.06387 98 70 20 8
1184 Yes, I did receive your previous message. 1.3673 0.06220 98 69 22 7
1185 Eventually I did get her to sign the divorce papers. 1.3673 0.06048 98 68 24 6
1186 911? I’d like report a Russian ad trying to influence my vote. 1.3673 0.06220 98 69 22 7
1187 Hello, Circulation ? I'd like to increase my annual Christmas tip to my carrier. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1188 Yes officer, the University of Wittenberg’s chapel door. 1.3656 0.06970 93 69 14 10
1189 That’s when I realized she was giving me a back message and not a back massage. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
1190 My ex did say she'd stick it to me. 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
1191 No, it's not my lower back. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1192 I avoided getting served as long as I could. 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
1193 Yes, dear, I got your message. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
1194 O.K., I'll read it. Love you too. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1195 Yes, I have been served the divorce papers. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1196 Yes, she left one -- but I can't quite read it now. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1197 I'm fine, it's just a papercut. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1198 No, I really think this is their best and final offer. 1.3656 0.06801 93 68 16 9
1199 Room Service? Can you send up a physician, and maybe a coroner? 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1200 My "don't kill the messenger" line didn't really go over like I thought it would. 1.3656 0.05467 93 61 30 2
1201 no, I havent had a chance to read the contract 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
1202 Yes, I am aware of your customer service contract. I just found it hard to read. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
1203 I'll get back to you. These Lutherans really mean business. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1204 Tell my attorney I believe that I may have just been served with the divorce papers. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
1205 No, I mean it literally. The divorce feels like a stab in the back. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1206 She really stuck it to me this time. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1207 Yes, it's true, I did ask that you shouldn't leave my newspaper on the floor anymore . 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1208 A simple "overdue" notice would have sufficed! 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
1209 The printer is acting up again. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1210 Her remarks were rather pointed. 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
1211 Yes, I had lunch with my editor. 1.3656 0.06801 93 68 16 9
1212 I thought you said the writing was on the wall? 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1213 The GOOD NEWS is that they left a list of demands, and I have it with me....... 1.3656 0.06801 93 68 16 9
1214 I'm ready to sign the divorce papers. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1215 My wife finally signed the divorce papers! 1.3656 0.07136 93 70 12 11
1216 I need to talk to my attorney. My wife personally served the divorce papers. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1217 Yes, my submission received another violent rejection... 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1218 Mrs. Luther? I need to talk to you about your son. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1219 She really stabbed me in the back with these divorce papers. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
1220 A string around a finger would have sufficed. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1221 You have been processing my claim for six months and my acupuncturist is demanding immediate payment. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1222 They smiled in my face -- so I assume it says they want to take my place. 1.3656 0.06970 93 69 14 10
1223 For starters, can a party to a divorce serve the petition herself? 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
1224 It was a very odd exit interview. 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
1225 Let's just say that her divorce lawyer really stabbed me in the back. 1.3656 0.06970 93 69 14 10
1226 I showed her the prenup. She said she’d think about it. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
1227 I'm calling to make an appointment for a chiropractic adjustment. I have a stabbing pain between my shoulder blades that you wouldn't believe. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1228 I get the point, Helen. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1229 No, Dear, I can't find it anywhere. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
1230 It appears I've been mistaken for a church door. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1231 Ransom note? What ransom note? 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
1232 You were right, Mother. I shouldn't have shown her the will. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
1233 Actually, my wife just delivered her divorce filing papers in person. 1.3656 0.06970 93 69 14 10
1234 my wife said she left the divorce papers somewhere in the back, but I don't know exactly where. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1235 No, I haven't read it yet. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
1236 I've reconsidered my options. Please restore standard voicemail immediately. 1.3646 0.06806 96 71 15 10
1237 Sorry boss, I can't come to work today. I've got a stabbing pain in my back and I can't find my files. 1.3646 0.06475 96 69 19 8
1238 Yes, Condé Nast subscriptions? I did indeed enjoy the New Yorker trial subscription, but for the third time, I would like to cancel. 1.3646 0.06965 96 72 13 11
1239 No, this time I think she really means it. 1.3646 0.06304 96 68 21 7
1240 Yes Martin... I got your message. 1.3646 0.06475 96 69 19 8
1241 I just got the terms of our divorce. 1.3646 0.06475 96 69 19 8
1242 I just got served with the divorce papers. 1.3646 0.06127 96 67 23 6
1243 No, I haven't seen the divorce papers yet. 1.3626 0.07249 91 69 11 11
1244 Come home quickly. I need you to read something to me. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1245 And then her lawyer has the nerve to demand her knife back! 1.3626 0.07078 91 68 13 10
1246 Let's try texting next time. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1247 I think it's a "Dear John" letter. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1248 No, I haven't seen her. But she did leave a "honey do" list. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1249 Sweetie, where did you put my honey-do list? 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1250 Martin Luther called, he left a message about some changes he was enthusiastic about. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1251 Apple has gotten serious with the user agreement for the new iPhone. 1.3626 0.05745 91 61 27 3
1252 No. No note she said I was clueless and left. 1.3626 0.07078 91 68 13 10
1253 Go ahead with the contract, but I have 95 reasons to doubt him. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1254 I can’t talk now. My wife and I are having a discussion. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1255 Hi Chuck? I need you to come over and read something for me. 1.3626 0.07078 91 68 13 10
1256 I feel unfairly targeted. 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
1257 I got my thesis back. It doesn't look good. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1258 Yes, I do have a delivery menu on me. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1259 Yes, I do take your actions as a stab in the back. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1260 I believe they are asking me to step aside. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1261 Sorry Jim, I can’t go to the game. I need to take care of the list of chores that Doris left for me. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1262 Yes, she just dropped off the divorce papers. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1263 Well, she signed the prenup. 1.3626 0.07078 91 68 13 10
1264 Yes dear you did make your point. 1.3626 0.06724 91 66 17 8
1265 Yes, I rejected his manuscript, but now I am stuck with it. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1266 Yes, I got the memo. What does it say? 1.3626 0.06724 91 66 17 8
1267 I can't read it. You took the hand mirror too. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1268 She said it was time to ‘stick it to the man’ 1.3626 0.05745 91 61 27 3
1269 Yes, she gave me the note but I haven't read it yet. 1.3626 0.06724 91 66 17 8
1270 Note? What note? 1.3626 0.06724 91 66 17 8
1271 911 ? I NEED HELP TO READ A NOTE MY WIFE LEFT ME ! 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1272 Hello, Lucille. I would sign the divorce papers if I could find them. 1.3626 0.07078 91 68 13 10
1273 You win. He's a back-stabber, alright. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1274 Thank you for calling, but I already got the message. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1275 No, I haven't had a chance to read it yet. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1276 It was more the way I was served. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1277 Yes mother, l think the divorce is final. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1278 I got your note. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1279 A text would have been less painful. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1280 I tried serving her the papers but she didn't take it well. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1281 She left a note. 1.3626 0.06724 91 66 17 8
1282 I’m sorry, but I can’t seem to find the divorce papers you served me. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1283 Other than that, no complaints, yourself? 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1284 No, her lawyer delivered it in person. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1285 Of course I'm sure no one is getting backstabbed. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1286 I need to ask my lawyer what constitutes being legally served. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1287 Well, no. I actually haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty sure it's very hostile. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1288 Message received, Mr. President. 1.3626 0.06724 91 66 17 8
1289 I'd like to order a cork board and some push pins, please. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1290 I agreed to take a stab at the new healthcare bill, and it just went downhill from there 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1291 Can we take another stab at the prenup tomorrow? 1.3626 0.05745 91 61 27 3
1292 I can't bring myself to read her divorce complaint--it hurts too much 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1293 In the future, Mr. Luther, if you have any complaints, please post them on my office door 1.3626 0.06724 91 66 17 8
1294 Yes, dear, I did receive the divorce papers. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1295 Yes, I got the reminder! 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1296 Yes, I got your message. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1297 Yes, I know this is 911. I’m telling you, she literally stuck me with divorce papers. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1298 Yes, the divorce papers have been served. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1299 OK, so you did not like my suggestion eh? 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
1300 I think I get your point. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1301 Mom, I think Tina has left me. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1302 Can you explain, to the employees, what we mean by pinning their response to the bulletin board. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1303 Be careful-- the small print will kill you. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1304 Soooo...got your message... 1.3617 0.06022 94 65 24 5
1305 So I take it that you’re not open to negotiate? 1.3617 0.06567 94 68 18 8
1306 Yes Amanda, I have been approached by your legal team. 1.3617 0.06391 94 67 20 7
1307 Yes, she was here. She served the papers herself. 1.3617 0.06739 94 69 16 9
1308 My "To Do List" is killing me. 1.3617 0.06022 94 65 24 5
1309 I got stuck with my own to do list 1.3617 0.06209 94 66 22 6
1310 I got my thesis back. It doesn't look good. 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1311 If I switch to the unlimited plan is the contract affixed with a smaller knife? 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1312 Darling, next time leave it on the fridge, I will remember. 1.3587 0.06294 92 65 21 6
1313 You know, I kind of felt like your letter was a complete stab in the back. 1.3587 0.06839 92 68 15 9
1314 My lawyer has my back, unfortunately my ex wife does too. 1.3587 0.06101 92 64 23 5
1315 Where did you put the divorce papers? 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1316 I think it's from her lawyer 1.3587 0.06101 92 64 23 5
1317 No, my shirt does not say ‘Post No Bills’ on it. 1.3587 0.06101 92 64 23 5
1318 Paper cuts are the worst 1.3587 0.06663 92 67 17 8
1319 I need a doctor, a lawyer, and a talent agent. 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1320 Brutus, from billing ? 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1321 Yes, I dotted my "I's", but I'm afraid my "Ts" have been double-crossed. 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1322 It seems that I should have gone with my gut and emailed her a PDF of the divorce papers. 1.3580 0.07309 81 60 13 8
1323 I'm calling to complain about your bill collection practices? 1.3580 0.07095 81 59 15 7
1324 No. . . but I think it was a Lutheran! 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1325 I'll concede that she made a very effective point with her article. 1.3556 0.05544 90 60 28 2
1326 I know you think they are 95 good reasons, Martin, but it was still extremely inappropriate. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1327 So I asked her to give me one example. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1328 I can't put my finger on it but I think I'm forgetting something. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1329 She took backstabbing to another level 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1330 It looks like end of the third marriage. I'm handling it well, but I sense there might be an issue regarding the pre-nup. 1.3556 0.05978 90 62 24 4
1331 9-1-1? I'd like to report a manifesto. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1332 What's my emergency? Well, someone is either trying to kill me or convert me. 1.3556 0.06944 90 67 14 9
1333 Yeah, well apparently they do know if you accept the User Agreement without reading it. 1.3556 0.05544 90 60 28 2
1334 Yes, she did leave a note. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1335 I’ve got this nagging feeling that my wife’s asking for a divorce 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1336 Mr. Speaker, perhaps you should have been more specific when you said this tax bill would 'have my back.' 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1337 I asked her to take a stab at reading it. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1338 yes, she left a note. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1339 I feel like whatever's in the fine print is going to kill me. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1340 It's a stabbing pain Harry, and it gets worse when I lie down. Think I should see a doctor? 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1341 I can't really read it, but I'm guessing the medium is the message. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1342 Hey, Bob. Yeah, I got the divorce papers but it doesn't look like it will be amicable. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1343 My wife personally served me divorce papers this morning. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1344 Hello, I’d like to make a complaint against the guy who served this subpoena... 1.3556 0.07121 90 68 12 10
1345 You can tell my wife's lawyer I've decided to settle" 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1346 Honestly, I don't think they'll be open to renegotiation. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1347 ...so you're telling me this isn't covered by my insurance? 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1348 Yes I can assure you - this is definitely their final offer. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1349 I'd like to report an unorthodox eviction notice. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1350 Actually, the pain of reading it is far worse, 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1351 I.m calling to complain about my newspaper delivery service. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1352 Actually, what hurts most is she could have told me to my face. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1353 I'm telling you my wife left me and stuck me with all the bills! 1.3556 0.05765 90 61 26 3
1354 May I call you back? I got something pressing to read. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1355 I just got served. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1356 What note? I haven't seen your blloody note! 1.3556 0.05978 90 62 24 4
1357 I just have a feeling that she means it this time. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1358 yes, I got your "honey-do" list. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1359 That’s not what I meant when I said I wanted to put the divorce behind me. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1360 Can you use refrigerator magnets next time you leave me a "honey do" list dear? 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1361 Hello 911; I think my wife just left me. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1362 She's not home right now, but she left a detailed note. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1363 Congress just delivered our new tax plan. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1364 She STRONGLY rejected the offer. 1.3556 0.07121 90 68 12 10
1365 The news hurt more than usual this morning. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1366 No, Doctor, I don't mind that he thinks he's Martin Luther. What I mind is that he thinks I'm the Wittenberg Castle! 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1367 As a matter of fact, she gave me 95 reasons she's leaving. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1368 Is everything all right? You seemed a little upset this morning. 1.3556 0.05978 90 62 24 4
1369 I think she signed the divorce papers, but I'm not 100% positive. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1370 He should just say it to my face. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1371 Hello, Sol...., I don't think she's gonna go for the pre-nup. 1.3556 0.05978 90 62 24 4
1372 Hi. Remember how I always say, "The pen is mightier than the sword!"? Funny thing... 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1373 Is that you, Brutus? 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1374 It's me. Yeah, so the homeowner's association is apparently serious. 1.3556 0.06944 90 67 14 9
1375 I didn't see it coming. 1.3556 0.05978 90 62 24 4
1376 I don't think she's gonna sign the prenup. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1377 The divorce decree arrived. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1378 Just to let you know, I do have an email account. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1379 This is non-binding, right? 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1380 Game of Thrones rejected my manuscript. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1381 I've decided to agree to your terms after all. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1382 911? My wife's just nailed me with her grievances. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1383 Unfortunately, the mediator is dead - I think we should settle. 1.3523 0.07414 88 68 9 11
1384 I think I've been served. 1.3523 0.06056 88 61 23 4
1385 There are some issues with the prenup. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1386 The divorce is final. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1387 I dare you to come and say that to my face! 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1388 Yeah, I got your note. Very funny. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1389 I'm being held hostage. Yes, they have a list of demands. And yes, I think they're serious. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1390 Yes Ethel I have received the divorce papers. 1.3523 0.07053 88 66 13 9
1391 I believe you've been trying to reach me about my late payment. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1392 I'd like to report a reformation. 1.3523 0.07414 88 68 9 11
1393 That's not what I meant when I said you should have my back. 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
1394 Can I call you back, mother? We're just reviewing the prenuptial agreement. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1395 You were right. I shouldn't have brought the Constitution to a knife fight. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1396 Honey, where did you say you put the to-do list? 1.3523 0.07053 88 66 13 9
1397 I'll call you back. My wife just gave me an ultimatum. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1398 What do you mean, I don't notice you? 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1399 Karen, just confirming receipt of your Dear John letter. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1400 Can't come over today, i've been stuck with the to do list 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1401 All right, two weeks from Friday at 2:00 pm. And while I'm there, I'd like to get a flu shot too. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1402 Apparently, we don't qualify for long term health care. 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
1403 Honey, the truce with the paperboy is off. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1404 Margaret, I can't find our Pre-Nup. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1405 I don't know, Doc. All she said was that Post-its weren't working. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1406 Our landlord just delivered the new lease agreement. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1407 I didn't realize you had left. Did you leave a note? 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1408 Yes Brutus, I got your letter. 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
1409 She's not happy I've filed for divorce but at least she's communicating. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1410 Yes the lawyer did make a point of coming by as a matter of fact. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1411 I really enjoyed out murder mystery date last night 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1412 She wants the china, but I can keep the cutlery. 1.3523 0.06056 88 61 23 4
1413 Apparently she has 95 complaints 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1414 She has some problems with the pre-nup. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1415 My wife found the love letter you sent me. 1.3523 0.07053 88 66 13 9
1416 I still owe the paper boy money 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1417 My shirt specifically says, "Post No Bills." 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1418 You put it where? 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1419 He said his name was Luther. Martin Luther. 1.3523 0.07235 88 67 11 10
1420 This time I think she might really mean it. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1421 I'm going to be late this morning .... my wife just served me divorce papers. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1422 Yes, she just delivered the divorce papers. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1423 It was pointed criticism, but I can't grasp the specifics. 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
1424 Yes, it’s an emergency! Please send an ambulance and an editor. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1425 I’m getting the feeling that she’s not interested in a no-fault divorce. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1426 I'm positive I ordered a SINGING telegram. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1427 Hi dear, it's me. Tell me again what I was supposed to do today. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1428 He didn't give a last name. Said his first name was Martin. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1429 Yes, she did leave a note for you and said you'd know where to find it. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1430 She's adamant. She won't sign the prenup. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1431 The job made me an offer I just can't refuse 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1432 No Mother, the wedding is definitely off. I've received a lengthy Dear John letter and frankly it cuts like a knife. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1433 This is just another example of you going behind my back. 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
1434 Hello Daily Bugler, is it too late to get an obit in tomorrow's paper? 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1435 Yes, I can describe him. It was a monk with a German accent. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1436 You can tell your divorce attorney I get the point. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1437 Yes Karen, I received the divorce papers by 'special delivery'... 1.3500 0.07138 80 59 14 7
1438 I don't think we'll be sending little Martin to Catholic school. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1439 Edna left me again, and I think she means it this time. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1440 No, this time I think she's really serious about the divorce. 1.3488 0.07166 86 65 12 9
1441 Hang on, I know she put it somewhere 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1442 Hang on, I think she just finished the grocery list. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1443 You put it where? 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1444 No, it's 13 across, 6 letters. "Bodkin or Dagger". I'm stuck. 1.3488 0.06972 86 64 14 8
1445 I just got your lawyer's outline of a suggested property settlement. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1446 No, I do not have time to take a survey. 1.3488 0.07166 86 65 12 9
1447 ...yeah, but if I don’t take it out of my back, then I haven’t officially been served. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1448 I don't think my wife is willing to sign the divorce papers you served... Any paperless suggestions? 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1449 About 9, on a scale of 0 to 10. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1450 I think I just received a hate letter. 1.3488 0.06972 86 64 14 8
1451 She found a sticking point in the divorce settlement. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1452 The contract wasn't quite as iron-clad as we thought. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1453 Honey, where did you leave that to-do list you're always nagging about? 1.3488 0.06972 86 64 14 8
1454 A simple post-it note would have sufficed. 1.3488 0.06137 86 60 22 4
1455 I feel compelled to mention a few sticking points. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1456 Yes, the papers were served—but I must say “blunt” is the wrong adjective to describe their delivery. 1.3488 0.05910 86 59 24 3
1457 My order was actually for a back *scratcher* 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1458 Then I said, "You forged that knife, why not my signature?" 1.3488 0.07354 86 66 10 10
1459 I'd like to switch to the paperless option for hidden fees. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1460 Florence, if you have something to say to me, just say it to my face! 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1461 Yes, dear, I'll be sure to read the article. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1462 I’ve just received a notice about a back payment? 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1463 The police are investigating, but I'm almost certain it was Martin Luther. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1464 Divorce Papers Just Came Through, She's Not Happy !! 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1465 Hello , Anger Management Center ... 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1466 If she left a good-bye note, I haven't seen it. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1467 Hey Bill, What's the name of that divorce attorney you were telling me about? 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1468 I think she's maybe considering leaving me, possibly. 1.3488 0.06137 86 60 22 4
1469 Et tu, Con Ed. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1470 No, it isn't just a feeling. I'm sure she wants a divorce. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1471 She has a few suggestions about my will. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1472 My wife just left me a note. I think we'll have to pass on the card game tonight. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1473 Dear, the cook just gave notice. 1.3488 0.07166 86 65 12 9
1474 Yeah, I got the message. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1475 And that's all she wrote. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1476 Hello, Frank? That DYI prenup form may not be quite as helpful as we thought. 1.3488 0.06972 86 64 14 8
1477 Yeah, I got the memo. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1478 I don't think 'amicable' is a possibility anymore. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1479 I'll tell you what the problem is. The problem is I'm not THAT Martin Luther! 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1480 How would I know what the note says? 1.3488 0.06972 86 64 14 8
1481 It's not that she served me with divorce papers, it's how she did it that hurts the most. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1482 She delivered the divorce paperwork herself. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1483 I’d like to report a schism. 1.3488 0.06972 86 64 14 8
1484 Can you represent me? I have just been served the divorce papers. Yes, you could say it was a surprise. 1.3483 0.05784 89 61 25 3
1485 Hello, Yes, I'd like to renew my subscription. And also a few more back issues. 1.3483 0.07341 89 69 9 11
1486 Couldn't you have just SIGNED the divorce papers? 1.3478 0.06266 92 66 20 6
1487 My wife would like to make a few 'tweaks' to our divorce agreement. 1.3457 0.06840 81 59 16 6
1488 Well yes doctor, I would describe it as a stabbing pain in the middle of my back. 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1489 A simple 'We will not be publishing your manuscript.' would have been sufficient. 1.3457 0.06126 81 56 22 3
1490 Yes, as a matter of fact, I AM a registered voter. 1.3457 0.07278 81 61 12 8
1491 How should I know? I don't have eyes in the back of my head. 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1492 I'll be late for work today, my neighbor took the 500th anniversary of the Reformation a bit too literal this morning . . . 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
1493 Yes, she finally got around to serving me the divorce papers. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1494 Yeah, Bob, she didn't accept my apology. 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
1495 Yes Mom, i'm pretty sure she is not coming back 1.3452 0.07667 84 66 7 11
1496 She was just here. 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1497 But on the bright side, she did reply to my letter. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1498 It has come to my attention that we will be getting the breadsticks after all. 1.3452 0.07284 84 64 11 9
1499 Something tells me she's probably not coming back this time... 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
1500 So, Helen dropped off the divorce papers... 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
1501 I got your message, but I haven't had a chance to read it. 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1502 ... and where would I find this "policy rider"? 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1503 They keep saying it's a tax cut for the middle class, I don't know though. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1504 I'd like to report a point too well taken. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1505 "No, I'm pretty sure it won't be amicable". 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1506 The termination clause in that contract was brutal. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1507 Washington Post? Thanks for running that article about my affair. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1508 This time I think she's serious about the divorce. 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
1509 I think we can view this as a hostile takeover. 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1510 Let's just say I won't forget the grocery list again. 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1511 It seems the figurative implications of my divorce have just become literal. 1.3452 0.05987 84 58 23 3
1512 Hold on a sec. I know I stuck it somewhere. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1513 Speaking as a Lutheran... 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1514 I got some feedback on the prenuptial proposal. 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1515 Would I prefer a high-speed internet service provider for all my data, e-mail, and messaging needs? You betcha. 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1516 It seems they didn't think much of our initial offer. 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1517 I've just learned that my wife's divorce attorney is a Lutheran 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1518 I believe it's a list of grievances. 1.3452 0.05987 84 58 23 3
1519 I'm not sure, but I think that I AM the message. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1520 I'd like to get a quote on a term life policy. 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
1521 I don’t have a problem with the contract per se. I have a problem with the backstabbing. 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1522 This is what happens when you divorce a Lutheran. 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
1523 He had a medium frame, spoke fluent German, and was wearing a cassock. 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1524 It will have to wait. I've been stuck with a new assignment. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1525 i think she took the pre-nup pretty well. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1526 No, dear, I haven't seen your "to do" list. 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
1527 I'm pretty sure it's for good this time... 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1528 Yes, I know, divorce can be painful; but this is different. 1.3452 0.05987 84 58 23 3
1529 Prenup rejected. . . . 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1530 Hello Dear. Now, once again, where did you put those divorce papers? 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1531 Hello....I thought I had signed up for e-statements. 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
1532 She's gone but I still feel the pain. 1.3441 0.06209 93 67 20 6
1533 All she said was, she was sick and tired of my indulgences. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1534 Your thank you note was deeply touching and heartfelt. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
1535 In retrospect, letting him just issue angry tweets to express his displeasure had its merits. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1536 Yes, I am sure she's serious about making the divorce stick this time 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1537 Was it really necessary to go behind my back with this? 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1538 No, the back-stabbing bitch isn't here. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1539 I don’t see your argument, but I get your point. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1540 Next time, could you just send a text? 1.3415 0.05547 82 55 26 1
1541 Yeah, I was just served a very pointed set of divorce papers. I’m looking for a lawyer who will have my back on this. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1542 Yes, you made your point and I think it finally stuck. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1543 Police, I’d like to report a drive by republican. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1544 Well, I’ve been through the contract and there’s a major sticking point I’d like removed. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1545 I don't see your point. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1546 Well, I've looked in all the obvious places, but I can't see it. You sure you left a list? 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
1547 Doesn't hurt. Fake news. Sad. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1548 Looks like my divorce will be messy. 1.3415 0.06066 82 57 22 3
1549 He said something about ninety five thesis. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1550 Her response to the suggestion of a pre-nup went as expected. 1.3415 0.07407 82 63 10 9
1551 I would like to cancel my subscription. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1552 Can we at least talk through some of your 95 reasons for reforming our marriage? 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1553 The tag on this new shirt is killing me. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1554 No, I can't really read what it says! 1.3415 0.06066 82 57 22 3
1555 I take it your response is final? 1.3415 0.06066 82 57 22 3
1556 I would like to convert to the digital subscription please. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1557 No, I don't really know why she left - the note is a bit hard to read. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
1558 Hang on; my wife’s trying to get my attention. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1559 This time I think she means it. 1.3415 0.06066 82 57 22 3
1560 THEY STUCK IT TO ME WITH THE LATE FEES. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1561 I literally can't see your reasoning. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1562 House Republicans? It's the middle class. Just wanted to let you know I got the tax reform bill. Thanks! 1.3415 0.07803 82 65 6 11
1563 Yes, I recall when you said you had my back. I should have told you to forget it. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1564 I had to kill the messenger. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1565 Martha just gave me a list of the things I do that annoy her. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1566 I hear her divorce lawyer is a Lutheran. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1567 I have yet to read them but the divorce papers have arrived. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1568 I think you took the expression a bit too literally. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1569 I really don't see your point. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1570 Yeah, my wife sent over our divorce papers this morning. 1.3415 0.06066 82 57 22 3
1571 Tell my lawyer that I think my wife just served me with papers. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1572 I can't find the divorce papers you left. 1.3415 0.07607 82 64 8 10
1573 As it turned out, the only thing Larry hated more than being stuck on hold was being stuck, on hold. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1574 I got your message, but it's hard to see the point. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1575 On a positive note, my sciatica is cured. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
1576 Wait...seriously? You can't get me in until next month? 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1577 My wife refuses to go paperless. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1578 ...but what hurt the most is when she served me with the divorce papers. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1579 My wife stabbing me in the back wasn't the worst part - she attached a shopping list. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1580 If your letter was an attempt to stab me in the heart, you missed. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1581 Nice touch, Blanch. It's bad enough that you left me and ran off with the circus, but to have your new boyfriend the knife thrower deliver the "Dear John" letter is so "you". 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1582 Next time, just leave voicemail. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1583 When she told me she was going to stick me with the mortgage payments, she wasn't kidding! 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1584 Well, she wants a divorce. She was very clear on that. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1585 Mildred knows about us. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1586 out of nowhere...she's filing for divorce! 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1587 Honey, my lawyer says it still needs your signature. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1588 Your mother won't be joining us for lunch. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1589 You know Sweetie, there is a bulletin board in the kitchen? 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1590 Yes, I did get your message. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1591 Hello GOP. Yes, I just got your Republican tax break bill notice from the mailman...interesting delivery method you picked for us in the middle class, good joke, point well made. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1592 I think the IRS is starting to crack down on back taxes. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1593 Upset? I'd notice if she's upset. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
1594 Hi, front desk? This is Room 127, I'd like to switch to paperless billing. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1595 Some murder mystery writers do not deal well with rejection. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1596 I have the feeling somebody is trying to tell me something. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
1597 She claims I was always turning my back to her and missed her messages. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1598 Yes, I just received your final offer. Frankly, I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1599 Does this mean we're not settling? 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1600 Okay. You nailed it. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1601 I'm guessing it's the work of some back stabbing lawyer. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1602 At least she waited until halftime. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1603 I think someone put a contract out in me. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1604 All in all, slightly less excruciating than Twitter 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1605 Sorry Dear! What list? 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1606 Some Republicans thought I was the President! 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
1607 Sure I'll hold, but it hurts. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1608 I received your last bill and it is literally killing me... 1.3412 0.07209 85 65 11 9
1609 Yes....that's right.. divorce papers. And I think she's serious this time! 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1610 No, I'm not going to bend over backwards to read the fine print. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1611 The rumors are correct. It is a hostile takeover. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1612 No, I haven't read it yet. 1.3412 0.06809 85 63 15 7
1613 I give up, honey. Where is it? 1.3412 0.07012 85 64 13 8
1614 She's out right now but left me a note! 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1615 Hello, I need to report a murder. Yes, I have all the forms filled out! 1.3373 0.06916 83 62 14 7
1616 Honey, have you gotten back to me on that "to-do" list? 1.3373 0.06916 83 62 14 7
1617 It's not what you did, it's what you said that hurt. 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1618 I’m willing to negoiate. 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1619 I'd love to grab a beer, but I have this Honey-Do list that feels pretty urgent. 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1620 Yes Dear, I got the divorce papers 1.3373 0.06916 83 62 14 7
1621 You could have told me to my face 1.3373 0.06916 83 62 14 7
1622 It's not so much the pink slip, it's the fact he's such a drama queen 1.3373 0.06916 83 62 14 7
1623 Something you wrote really sticks with me. 1.3373 0.05757 83 57 24 2
1624 Honey...Yes I got your email, but I’m having a problem with the attachment. 1.3373 0.06246 83 59 20 4
1625 It's not like her to leave without telling me. 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1626 That's it. I'm not representing any more Young Adult authors. 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1627 Yes, but she’s not in a mood to talk. 1.3372 0.06741 86 64 15 7
1628 Take the kids to your mother's....I have a contract on me. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1629 Can you please tell someone at the theology department that I've found a 96th thesis? 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1630 From the opening handshake to the parting slap on the back I found him to be an honest to God deal maker! 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1631 Is it legal for my wife to serve me the divorce papers personally? 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1632 I'm not sure what her note says, but I don't think she's coming back. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1633 Yes, she definitely has some issues. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1634 Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but it's that !#%?ing small print that kills me! 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1635 Oh yes, Gladys. But may I suggest that going through your divorce lawyer would have been a more adult way of doing it. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1636 I think there are some parts of the divorce settlement she is objecting to. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1637 No, Marsha, I didn't see your note. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1638 Yes dear. I got your 'to-do' list. It's just hard to read in mirror. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1639 The board decided to give me my severance papers today 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1640 You wouldn’t think a Luther 500 celebration would get so out of hand. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1641 Listen, about that urgent message you sent me... 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1642 Can I take that as a maybe? 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1643 So, Martin, Luther finally came by and turned in his thesis 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1644 Yes, Mr. Corleone, I did receive your to-do list. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1645 Sorry honey, I can't seem to find the shopping list. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1646 I think it's going to be a hostile takeover. 1.3333 0.07244 81 62 11 8
1647 I can’t tell, are you going to publish my story or not? 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1648 Oh, she signed them all right. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1649 Honey, I found the “To Do” list! 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1650 Trust me, he'll stab you in the back the first chance he gets. 1.3333 0.07244 81 62 11 8
1651 Yeah Doc, I have a whole list of back pains. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1652 Yes, dear. I found the want ads right where you left them. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1653 We were playing Martin Luther and the 95 theses. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1654 hold on...I appear to be getting an urgent message. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1655 Even worse, she hired a Lutheran lawyer and he still has about 92 pages to deliver yet. 1.3333 0.06845 84 63 14 7
1656 May I please speak with my attorney, I believe I've just been served divorce papers. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1657 You win. I will subscribe to the Sunday Times. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1658 I'm pretty sure they're divorce papers. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1659 Can you make it quick? I'm in rehearsals for the Divorce-Attorney Association's production of Julius Caesar. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1660 I got my wife to sign the divorce papers. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1661 Listen...I can't speak to the millions of crank calls you say you've received about this but I actually HAVE been stabbed in the back by the Republican tax bill and I need professional help immediately! 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1662 The firing was a surprise, but I got a great reference. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1663 The details aren't important. 1.3333 0.05948 84 59 22 3
1664 If you've got something to say, at least have the guts to stab it to my face. 1.3333 0.07244 81 62 11 8
1665 You could have just emailed the divorce papers. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1666 Are you sure this is not covered under my health plan? 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1667 Yes, my wife just served the papers... 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1668 I'd like to complain about your back bill posting policy. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1669 As you suggested, doctor, we exchanged our respective lists of marital grievances. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1670 Where did you leave the 'honey-do' list? 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1671 Yeah, Doc, I've had this nagging pain ever since my wife served me with divorce papers 1.3333 0.05556 81 55 25 1
1672 I paid last month’s cable bill on time but got stuck with a penalty for being late. I’m wondering if you could remove it. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1673 The divorce papers? Yes, I just received them. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1674 I told you that I cannot "state" my emergency. Someone will have to read it to me. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1675 I was just standing in a church doorway... 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1676 I have this stabbing pain in my back, and I couldn't find it on WebMD so I called you, doctor. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1677 Et tu, Barbara? 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1678 No, I am not calling 911 to report that I was betrayed. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1679 Hello, is this the Lutheran church? I'd like to file a complaint against one of your ministers. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1680 Thank you for leaving the reminder note about our anniversary. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1681 No, she's not home, and quite frankly, I don't expect her to return. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1682 Yes, Mom. It appears we're getting divorced. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1683 I thought there was a 5 day grace period? 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1684 ...so then I said, ‘We communicate just fine!’ 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1685 Well, she was always a devout Protestant. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1686 I don't want to pick a quarrel but you chose a very rude courier service. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1687 Honey, you said the electricity bill was under the knife, but I can't find either of them. 1.3333 0.07244 81 62 11 8
1688 The negotiations? Oh, fine. You know, some minor points, but nothing I can't handle. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1689 "911, What's your emergency? 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1690 I think she wants a divorce. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1691 Your mother's letter arrived. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1692 Yes, Vinnie, I have the contract right here. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1693 It appears that I have been served. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1694 I'm not questioning that you served me, it's the method I object to. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1695 She called it a ' Honey Die" list. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1696 I've reformed. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1697 Next time, could you just email me? 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1698 B-R-U-T-U-S !! 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1699 Mary always uses my own words to stab me in the back. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1700 Working for Trump is tremendous! Fantastic!! Amazing!!! 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1701 Trust me: it's still better than being on social media. 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1702 I’m telling you, it’s not fake news 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1703 Apparently, someone else wanted to take a stab at my work. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1704 Hi, I'm responding to the message you left earlier. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1705 My wife is killing me with her "to do" lists. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1706 Yes, I got the divorce papers. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1707 I got the message. 1.3333 0.07244 81 62 11 8
1708 I still haven’t seen the terms and conditions. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1709 I did, but apparently the average tip is 20% now... 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1710 Yes... Mr Kushner stopped by and said he's got my back in tomorrow's Senate hearing. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1711 I'm calling about the "Early Contract Cancellation Penalties"? 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1712 I finally got hold of his tax return. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1713 I sense you want a divorce. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1714 Honey, can you tell me again where you put the grocery list? 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1715 The new guaranteed message service is working but it is a bloody nuisance. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1716 I have no idea where the contract is. I bet those backstabbers in the office are hiding it from me on purpose. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1717 Hi, just received a demand from the White House to drop the investigation. 1.3293 0.06270 82 59 19 4
1718 So I take it you won’t be renewing your lease. 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1719 Trump delivered his message and this time it wasn't a Tweet. 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1720 ...yes, well when they knocked on the door I suspected they were Jehovah's Witnesses. Turns out they were Lutheran after all. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1721 I've been served with my walking papers. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1722 Honey, I have no idea where you put the grocery list. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1723 Hello Congressman. I'm calling about your latest tax plan. 1.3291 0.07367 79 61 10 8
1724 Hi -- say, I've received my renewal notice from Healthcare.gov and I have a few questions. 1.3291 0.07584 79 62 8 9
1725 Um, Yes, Comcast? I'm ready to go paperless now. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1726 It still feels like you stabbed me in the back. 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1727 Honey, where did you put those divorce papers? 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1728 I am telling you, I did not have a face to face meeting with the Russians. 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1729 I just received your final notice. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1730 Doctor, I just got my divorce papers but I need your help in retrieving them. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1731 I received the divorce papers. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1732 The divorce will be finalized once I get around to signing the papers. 1.3291 0.05899 79 55 22 2
1733 I'm calling about the subpoena that was served on me today. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1734 I just told her, "I am sick and tired of seeing your "to do" list everywhere I go!" 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1735 Yes, I did receive a copy of the proposed contract but I have not yet had a chance to read it. 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1736 Yeah, I finally nailed the back story on POTUS. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1737 Couldn't you have made your point in an email? 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1738 Yes dear, I know you've listed 95 problems with our marriage...but this last move seems a bit extreme. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1739 911? Yes, I'll hold. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1740 'Where did you put the shopping list?" 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1741 I have a bad feeling it's Trump's new tax plan. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1742 Just got the divorce papers. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1743 No, she didn't send a messenger, she delivered the divorce papers in person! 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1744 Mugged, yes. By lawyers. I believe it was a pack of lawyers. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1745 Yes, my wife finally gave me the divorce papers to sign. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1746 You're not hearing me, Fred...I'm pretty sure she won't agree to the changes. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1747 Could you come over and read her note to me? 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1748 She didn't respond that well to my asking for a pre-nup. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1749 I calling to let you know I received the new Republican Tax plan and I wanted to express my distaste for it. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1750 Actually, I wanted the no-fault, no-pain divorce. 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1751 Hold on. I think Lois just let me know if I can go to Vegas with you, next weekend. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1752 The papers were served but I haven't had a chance to read them yet. 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1753 Yes, Dear. I won’t forget to pick up the items on your grocery list. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1754 I think I just got a very pointed text message. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1755 Yes, I have my cellphone contract, but it is difficult to read, given where you put it. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1756 Yes, your lawyer served the divorce papers. She is rather hostile. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1757 At least they didn't throw me under the bus. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1758 All I heard was, 'Hear ye, hear ye' - then he ran away. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1759 Yes, I WOULD be interested in your 'Life Alert'! 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1760 I've been served. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1761 My wife just filed for divorce. Could you send an ambulance? 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1762 Yes, I'm sure I was served with divorce papers. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1763 No. Just ask him whether, hypothetically speaking, a subpoena delivered via dagger in a dark alley is a lawful means of service. 1.3291 0.07367 79 61 10 8
1764 Yes, I agree, Chapeldoor is an unusual last name--ironic even, yes. Now, about that ambulance... 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1765 I'd say this 500 year commemoration of Martin Luther has gotten out of hand. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1766 Uhm, yes. She gave me the divorce papers, but I haven’t been able to sign them yet. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1767 Honey, where did you put the letter opener? 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1768 Kevlar T-shirt company? I'd like to file a complaint. 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1769 Remember Bob, our classmate with the "kick me" signs? He's a mob lawyer now. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1770 911 ? My emergency ? This subpoena is killing me. 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1771 Please tell Mr. Steinman that my wife would like to make some changes to the divorce offer 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1772 Hello, Martin Luther? I think you have the wrong house. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1773 I was standing in front of Wittenberg Castle Church and this monk stabs me in the back with 95 Theses.... in Latin, no less.... 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1774 Hi, I just wanted to verify, a divorce agreement with blood stains is valid? 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1775 No, I still haven't seen your list of grievances. 1.3291 0.05617 79 54 24 1
1776 I just got served with the divorce papers. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1777 Bringing up the prenup didn't go as badly as I thought it might. 1.3291 0.07367 79 61 10 8
1778 I'm not sure. My unsigned divorce papers I'd guess. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1779 I got the divorce papers today... 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1780 She says that it's all explained in the note. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1781 My wife turned out to be a real backstabber in this divorce. 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1782 Yes, I got the message, but I can't read it. 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1783 So, is this what you meant about tax cuts to the middle class? 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1784 Look, Doris, I've looked everywhere for those divorce papers you dropped off, but... 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1785 Yes, 95 theses, but it's the one knife that I'm worried about. 1.3250 0.07286 80 62 10 8
1786 "Hello Sid, I think I've been subpoenaed by my ex-wife". 1.3250 0.06358 80 58 18 4
1787 Yes, I got your message. 1.3250 0.06104 80 57 20 3
1788 I'll need a mirror, but I'm pretty sure the divorce papers are now signed. 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1789 Yeah, she left me but didn't take the good knife set. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1790 No, they did not actually say they were rejecting my book. 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1791 That's right, officer. He said his name was Luther, then something about 95 theses and didn't have time to find a church door and had a plane to catch and would I mind? Can you send someone over right away? My back is killing me. 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1792 Please tell your lawyer that I got his subpoena. 1.3247 0.07496 77 60 9 8
1793 No, I was expecting a poison pen letter. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1794 The writing's a bit pedestrian, but the surprise ending was quite effective 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1795 Ya, my fiancée didn’t like the idea of a prenup. 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
1796 I thought you said the divorce was going to be amicable. 1.3247 0.05974 77 54 21 2
1797 Didn't hear you leave this morning. I'm fine, dear. What's up? 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1798 Yes, I understand that you are leaving me because you feel I'm dead inside, and no I have not seen any damn note! 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
1799 I'm guessing they're divorce papers, but it's difficult to tell. 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1800 Divorce papers? How could I miss them? 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1801 My ex just sent me another letter. 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1802 I couldn't find your note. Where did you leave it? 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1803 I can't see you tonight. My back is hurting too much. Oh, and my wife found the letter you sent. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1804 There's a sticking point in the Sanity Clause. 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
1805 I’d like to report an assault with the English language. 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1806 Hello Amazon? I have some feedback on your new newspaper delivery system.. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1807 Yes doctor, I would describe it as a stabbing pain in my upper back. 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1808 Hold on, my wife has something to add. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1809 Can I call you back? My wife just served me with divorce papers. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1810 The gas company has gotten a lot more aggressive about their shut-off notices. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1811 You forgot to tip the mailman. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1812 ...yes, I believe his name is Marin Luther... 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1813 I won't be in today, I've become painfully aware of some domestic needs I need to attend to. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1814 Next time, just fax it. 1.3247 0.05974 77 54 21 2
1815 She dropped off the divorce papers today. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1816 I told you, I can't read it! It's not like it's been nailed to my door! 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1817 Yes I did get the divorce papers. The whole process has been very painful for me. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1818 I got your message. You get right to the point, don't you? 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1819 Nope, she just stormed out without saying a word. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1820 A survey? Sure, I have time. Go ahead. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1821 I haven't even read the thing yet and already I'm wounded. 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
1822 Oh, I got the point. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1823 I have a feeling that it's not good news. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1824 She wants a divorce, I didn't see it coming. Yeah its pretty painful. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1825 No, I'm pretty sure it won't be amicable. She's already served notice. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1826 Does our plan cover marriage counseling? 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1827 I don't believe it's her "honey-do" list. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1828 I haven't read it yet, but it just feels like an emergency. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1829 I'd call it more than 'hen-pecked'. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1830 Honey, I think it's time we paid the Chiropractor 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1831 Hi, I'd like to get caught up on my rent. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1832 I've kind of gotten painfully attached to the manuscript. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1833 Yes, dear, you’ve made your point about counseling. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1834 Where exactly did you say you put it? 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1835 I can't talk right now; I' ve got the law on my back! 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1836 Charlotte.... when you said you'd stick it to me, you hurt me deeply. 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
1837 His name is Martin Luther. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1838 My recent submission was painfully rejected. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1839 I thought it was a Honey Do list but I'm thinking she had something else in mind. 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
1840 Yes, I’ve been served. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1841 Sorry Bob, the wife's To Do list trumps golf today. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1842 I'm pretty sure my son Martin will not be attending the Catechism class. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1843 I think they are a little disappointed in my performance this year. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1844 Hi Mark I think my Sharon just served me those divorce papers. 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
1845 Well, the good news is I got a lot off my chest. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1846 I can really feel the thrust of your argument. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1847 Yes, she just served me with divorce papers. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1848 These assembly instructions are not user-friendly. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1849 Yes my wife has seen this morning’s Washington Post. 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
1850 I object to the way she served the divorce papers! 1.3210 0.06989 81 62 12 7
1851 You're in luck. I think Dad wants to change his will. 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
1852 It's a killer script. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1853 Can you define "Pre - Existing" condition? 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
1854 Despite the obvious, I don't see a point to your manifesto. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1855 There's a message for you, but I can't read it. 1.3200 0.06051 75 53 20 2
1856 You know hurts most? The legalese. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1857 They left a ransom note, but I haven't read it yet. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1858 Yes, I just received the divorce papers. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
1859 I'm telling you, no matter what it says, it was not suicide. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1860 You said you had my back! 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1861 I got the point of your message but couldn't you just email it? 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1862 No, I can't stay on hold. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1863 No, I can't read them, but I'm pretty sure they're divorce papers. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
1864 Can I call you back? My daughter just presented me with a dissenting opinion. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1865 I don't know, Senator, I guess I just assumed that stabbing me in the back with taxes was a figure of speech... 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
1866 Sorry I can't make it, I'm stuck with a huge "honey do" list. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1867 No, honey, I haven't read your note yet, but I sense you are still cross with me. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1868 I get the point of the contract, I just don't like how it was delivered. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
1869 “No, it’s a metaphor. A simile would use ‘like’ or ‘as’. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1870 I got the point but I don't see it. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1871 I just got the divorce papers and, in fairness, she once said she'd always have my back. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
1872 My wife just filed the divorce papers. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1873 No, Brutus just left. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1874 Yeah, well as soon as I get to a mirror I'll tell you what the charges are. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1875 No, she didn't like my suggestions. 1.3200 0.06051 75 53 20 2
1876 I’d like to order a bulletin board please 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1877 Let me cut to the chase. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
1878 Yes officer, I agree that it was probably a contract killer, but why include the contract? 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1879 Jenna, a simple “no” to not wanting to see me ever again would have been a better option. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1880 So should I pick up some milk, too? 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
1881 No doctor, I didn’t receive the bill, but the backpain is still there. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1882 Hi honey, I can’t seem to find your “to do” list. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1883 I think Post it notes was a better idea 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1884 Hello...Mr. Luther...so when was your most recent eye exam? 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
1885 Yes, Officer, I was just standing in front of the Wittenberg Castle church when... 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1886 She signed it. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1887 Yes, she signed the papers. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1888 Yes, the memo arrived, hand delivered. There is, however, a sticking point... 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1889 I hear they stuck a knife in the middle class tax cut. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1890 I just got served. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1891 No, I can’t get you my order number right now. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
1892 You know that back story you've been wanting me to find? It just hit me. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1893 Glad you noticed. I'll change it from back to front. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
1894 "Hi, I'd like to re-schedule my marriage counseling appointment"! 1.3200 0.06051 75 53 20 2
1895 No thank you, I'm already stuck to my cable contract for the year. 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
1896 I would like to order a bulletin board and a box of thumbtacks for my wife. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1897 911? I need some help reading my wife’s alimony demands. 1.3158 0.07305 76 59 10 7
1898 In this case, the Constitution doesn't protect me. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1899 Sorry Dear, but can you do the shopping this week? I can’t find the list and my back is killing me! 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1900 Sweetie, it appears you have forgotten to sign the prenup. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1901 A Post-it Note would have sufficed. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1902 Yes, I did ask you to sharpen your delivery. 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
1903 I decided not to insist on the prenup. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1904 Honey, where did you say you left my list of chores? 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1905 Yes...I think I’m finally persuaded to become a contributing circle member. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1906 Luther in Sales said he'd take a stab at it 1.3158 0.05685 76 53 22 1
1907 You might say it arrived by Fed-up Ex. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1908 Yes, I suggested he put his ideas down on paper..... 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1909 I don't know why she's so angry. She left a long letter but I can't read it. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1910 I'd like to file a complaint about your process server. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1911 She hit me with divorce papers. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1912 But honey, you usually leave the list on the kitchen counter. 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
1913 Flo just filed the divorce papers. I know, I know. I didn't see it coming, either. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1914 Hello, this is the president of the co-op board; maybe we should reconsider that application. 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
1915 My wife left me a note to call the doctor about stabbing pain that I've been experiencing. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1916 My wife says your early cancellation penalty is too severe. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1917 And now I can't even read the damn 'to-do' list, so joke's on her! 1.3158 0.07542 76 60 8 8
1918 Honey, where exactly did you pin up the to do list. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1919 I think it was Martin Luther. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1920 Tell me again what we need at the store? 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1921 I'm pretty sure he's not a real chiropractor 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
1922 My fiancée didn't like the Prenup ... 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1923 Yes dear, your subpoena was served.. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1924 I'd like to report a betrayal. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1925 These new plans you’re sticking me with, they’re killing me. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1926 My backstabbing former partner is suing me. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1927 Frankly Francine, I preferred the singing telegram. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1928 She left a note. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1929 Yes, stop my service. A local cell provider has made me an offer I can't refuse. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1930 Divorce papers? What divorce papers? 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1931 Let me take a stab at it...you want a divorce.... 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
1932 You stab me in the back with a ransom note hand written in cursive and then you have the audacity to call me on my land line. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1933 Yes, I will not forget to go to the market today. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1934 Take Trump at his word when he says, "I'll stick it to you!" 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1935 I sense our divorce discussions have entered a new phase. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1936 . . Well, I was standing near the front of the church, and this guy comes up dressed like Martin Luther, . . . . 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1937 I'd be happy to take a message for you. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1938 Does the company insurance policy cover backstabbing? 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1939 In fact, no, I can't read it to you right now. 1.3151 0.07773 73 58 7 8
1940 Yes dear, I found the divorce papers. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1941 It's more of a stabbing pain that gets worse around quarterly review time. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1942 I'm calling to let you know I received your message ... 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1943 I got their counter offer. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1944 No, I can't read it, but I'm pretty sure it's a list of the ninety-five reasons she wants a divorce. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1945 Honey, any quibbles with the prenup? 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1946 She presented her objections Luther style. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1947 I have a feeling Marsha isn't going to sign the divorce papers. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1948 I'm telling you! She left without saying a word. Not even a note. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1949 Larry, my wife just served me with divorce papers. What’s next? 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
1950 Yes dear, I finally feel your pain. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1951 I'll call you back. Need to take care of a little paper cut. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1952 What kind of knife wounds does my policy cover? 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1953 Really, Marge? 'THESES?' Can't you just serve divorce papers like other wives? 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1954 To be honest Bill, I can't really recommend the "Immersive Julius Caesar" 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1955 No, I haven't read your script yet. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1956 Believe me, there is no such thing as an amicable divorce. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1957 Yes, I received your counter-offer! 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1958 You’re killing me with all this paper work. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1959 Yes, I am "assuming" it's divorce papers--I can't see it, but... 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1960 My guess is he's a Roman, a Lutheran, or a mugger. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1961 Yes Dear, I have your note. 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
1962 Well, I’m having a few stabbing pains but I think theyll subside once the contract is signed. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1963 Well, of course it hurts. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1964 Yes, I received the new Terms and Conditions 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
1965 I just can't read your note. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1966 I was just informed that my wife filed for divorce. 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
1967 Someone unfriended me! 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1968 So, are we still on for tonight? 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1969 I didn't get a good look, but I'm pretty sure he was a Lutheran. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1970 I just have a feeling this isn't the tax relief Trump promised. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1971 Yes operator, we were playing charades. Where? In the library with the knife. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1972 Subpoena? ... I didn't get any subpoena. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1973 Hold on, I just got your message. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1974 I'm gonna be a little late. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1975 Hello, front desk? - I've got a complaint about my bill... 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1976 I didn't understand the contract, so my wife took a stab at it. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1977 Congress just passed tax reform. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1978 Ok, Martha, you can have the still life. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1979 I was hoping that your rejection notice would be a little less pointed. 1.3151 0.05812 73 51 21 1
1980 I don't know where she is. She just left me a note. 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
1981 911?, help! I was just received the Republicans tax reform bill! 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
1982 Actually, it's more like 106 theses; and, no, she didn't nail them to the front door. 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
1983 And where did you leave the note? 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
1984 Honey, I have a feeling there's something you want to tell me, 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
1985 I can't understand why you didn't get the payment. My wife figured out a surefire way to remind me to send our bills in on time. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
1986 I wasn't being literal. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
1987 She said it was important. 1.3117 0.05921 77 55 20 2
1988 Can't you just do it on social media like everyone else, Myrtle? 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
1989 Wait, what exactly did you mean by 'early termination fee'? 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
1990 The good news first honey. It finally appears my divorce is being granted. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
1991 Can't go out tonight, Larry. My wife is dead serious about this "honey-do" list. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
1992 Where's the shopping list? 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
1993 This isn't the type of pointed feedback I expected 1.3117 0.05921 77 55 20 2
1994 "Hi Fiona, I've just got your letter". 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
1995 Frankly, you're killing me here with your onerous terms. 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
1996 I understand you're a little upset, but what's for dinner? 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
1997 Do process servers have any restrictions? 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
1998 Yes, I'll renew my subscription. 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
1999 Me too....but i just can't put my finger on it. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2000 Yeah 911, I’ll be needing an ambulance, but is it possible to stop by my lawyer’s office on the way to the hospital? 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2001 You misunderstood. I said I'd like to change my delivery option to email not chain mail. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2002 I just can't face the divorce papers she served me with! 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2003 I have a strong feeling that she wants a divorce. 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
2004 No, I still don't see your point. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2005 Yes Dear, I have tho ToDo list right here 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
2006 Well, that's the problem, I have to take out the knife to get the account number. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2007 Sorry honey, I can't find your "to do" list. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2008 Why do you always put my ‘honey-do’ list where I can’t find it? 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2009 YES DEAR I WAS FIRED- SOME BACK STABBERS AT THE OFFICE. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2010 I guess she really isn't happy 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2011 It wasn't suicide, no matter what my wife tells you 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2012 I'm quite sure she already signed... 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2013 That's Luther, L-U-T-H-E-R 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2014 Yeah, I just got served. So you really want a divorce? Like, for real? 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2015 Hello, Wittenberg Cathedral? 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2016 She finally signed the divorce papers, but it doesn't look like I will get to keep the house. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2017 For the last time, Margaret, you did not give me a shopping list before you left for work. And I’m getting pretty tired of you saying I don’t listen when you’re talking to me. 1.3108 0.07434 74 58 9 7
2018 I really think she means it this time! 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2019 Yes, apparently, I forgot to schedule her follow-up anger management session. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2020 Hello? The new tax plan seems to have stabbed me in the back. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2021 He said his name was Luther 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2022 No, honey, I didn’t find your shopping list 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2023 I no longer expect an amicable divorce. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2024 Next time just tie a string around my finger. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2025 Honey, where's that shopping list you were on my back about? 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2026 You do know you can mail divorce papers, right? 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2027 Yes, they left a note. That's the problem. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2028 I'd say it's more of a stabbing pain. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2029 What list? 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2030 Hello 911? I've been attacked by Lutherans 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2031 Probably would have been better to leave my messages on the machine. 1.3108 0.06062 74 53 19 2
2032 Okay, I’m sorry I didn’t read your email. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2033 I have no idea. I didn't see it coming, and she didn't even leave a note. 1.3108 0.06062 74 53 19 2
2034 What message? 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2035 Yes, I got your note. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2036 I just received my final notice so I need to speak to someone in your medical department. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2037 I'd like to discuss my bill. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2038 I just left the White House and my backs been aching ever since. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2039 I'm going to have to disagree with these terms and conditions. 1.3108 0.06062 74 53 19 2
2040 As a matter of fact, they were quite pointed with their concerns about our offer... 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2041 I take it, you didn't care for the pre nup? 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2042 Yes, I have a complaint about the new paperboy. No, no, his aim is excellent; that's not the problem. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2043 She served me the divorce papers today. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2044 I don't think he liked the changes. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2045 My wife says that I am in fact covered for stabbing back pain. 1.3108 0.07434 74 58 9 7
2046 Yes I received the divorce papers today dear. 1.3108 0.07916 74 60 5 9
2047 It's just not my day. First, the 'Dear John' letter. Then she stabs me in the back. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2048 Mr. Mueller, I got the written confession from them that you wanted but not exactly as I expected. You may want to come see this. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2049 OK, but Martin Luther posted them to the door. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2050 Hi sweety..... yup, yup.... my wife did finally sign the divorce papers......but there's a small glitch. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2051 Please take me off the distribution list. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2052 I’ve got the divorce papers behind me 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2053 Describe it? I would definitely say its a painful reminder. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2054 I got your message. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2055 Yes, I got the divorce papers from her. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2056 She finally got her point across. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2057 It’s addressed to Dear Recipient. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2058 Of course I could tell you were upset, dear, but I still don't know why. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2059 Yes, I'm positive I chose paperless billing. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2060 To be honest, Billy, when it comes to being a victim of legalese, I'm having difficulty differentiating between literal and figurative. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2061 Yes, boss, I got your note, in the usual place. Yes, of course I get the point. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2062 All right. I accept the Terms of Service. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2063 Good news. My boss is no longer a pain in the butt. 1.3099 0.07921 71 57 6 8
2064 I got your note. But I'm having some difficulty reading it. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2065 Hi babe, is there any chance we can talk about this? 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2066 I didn't get a good look, but I think he was a Lutheran. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2067 I didn't count them all,but she said it was 95 complaints. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2068 No, the pain has always been there, but this time it feels litigious 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2069 Yes, I got the point of your message. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2070 Take this kids somewhere safe...there's a contract on me 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2071 Yes, I did get your message, but I'm having difficulty reading it. 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2072 Yes, Dear, I promise I won't forget to sign the divorce papers. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2073 I don’t know. When I woke up she was gone and so was my manuscript. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2074 In hindsight, biting the hand that fed you was preferable 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2075 You’ve always been a pain, but lower. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2076 I asked her for one example where I didn't listen. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2077 Reporting an attempt to kill the messenger. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2078 Honey, where did you put the grocery list? 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2079 Yes. Ms. Borden was already here to sign the contract. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2080 Yes, he wrote me back. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2081 You could have just emailed me my performance review. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2082 And I thought having a "kick me" sign on my back was the worst it could get... 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2083 I can't play today. No, it isn't my tennis elbow. 1.3099 0.05880 71 50 20 1
2084 You know, there were easier ways to tell me you want a divorce. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2085 Honey, did you leave the chores list where I can find it? 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2086 Sorry, Sam, can't make lunch today. I'm stuck at home. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2087 I need you to look at a contract. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2088 Yes, Dear. I won't forget the shopping list. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2089 Alice, settle down. What do you mean when you say you went behind my back? 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2090 I asked her to sign a pre-nup. I would say she didn't take it very well. 1.3099 0.05880 71 50 20 1
2091 I'd like to speak to your best divorce attorney, please. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2092 I can't read it, but I'm pretty sure it says she wants a divorce! 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2093 Well...I finally told my wife about us. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2094 I wouldn’t exactly call them cutting remarks. 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2095 I'm tellin' ya, nurse, I'm lookin' in the mirror and all I see is a potted plant. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2096 Yes, it’s definitely a rejection letter. 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2097 You're dumping me because I don't show my emotions? 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2098 All I said is, “What’s wrong with indulgences,” and then Martin goes off on me. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2099 Those divorce papers I thought I'd lost...they just turned up. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2100 Remind me again...where did you put the shopping list? 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2101 Just because you didn't like the legal agreement I said you had to sign, you didn't have to become a backstabber. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2102 Yes, I did receive your demand letter and quite frankly this follow up call is a little much. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2103 She served me with divorce papers 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2104 No, honey, I didn't see the note you left while I was napping. Where did you leave it? 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2105 Good news, Honey. I just received that Whitehouse job offer in writing. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2106 Frankly, I am taking all the backstabbing at work very personally. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2107 Does this mean the wedding is off? 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2108 Mom, she gave me her terms for the divorce. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2109 Well, the divorce is final, but Muriel took it a bit harder than I expected. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2110 I'm calling about your new list of demands. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2111 Honey, I said I'd be happy to pick up the groceries but you forgot to leave me the list. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2112 tell Mon Senior that the Lutherans are at it again 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2113 Yes, this is a complaint on how I received the eviction notice. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2114 What backstabbing remarks? 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2115 You cannot unilaterally revise the terms of our tontine, Gregory. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2116 Remember that list of suggestions I gave to Tom? 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2117 If you wanted a divorce, you could have just asked. 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2118 Why didn't you just pick up the phone? 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2119 " I don't think you understand. It's a little more serious than someone just talking behind my back.... 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2120 The magnet on the fridge would have worked just as well. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2121 'Yes, my wife just discovered my roaming charges." 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2122 I haven't a clue. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2123 Does it count as "serving a summons" if they don't put it in my hands? 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2124 The stuck me with the hospital bill. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2125 So you left me and didn't even leave a note. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2126 I'll be late for dinner, the paperwork is killing me. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2127 I’m sorry,...where’s the shopping list, again? 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2128 No, Leslie doesn't live here any more. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2129 Yes, I'd like to report that my wife is missing, she left a note, but I'm going to need help reading it. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2130 She's threatening to twist it if I keep the convertible. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2131 As my divorce attorney, you should know that my wife served the papers for divorce just now! 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2132 I had a feeling you left a note, but I didn’t see it. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2133 Yes...she signed them. But the old 'take her to a fancy restaurant to avoid a scene' ploy failed miserably! 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2134 I want 2 egg rolls, fried rice and a surgeon. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2135 Barb, did you sign the prenup? 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2136 She says we need to communicate better. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2137 Well no, he didn't like the return we prepared. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2138 She had some reservations about the prenup 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2139 What about telling me to my face? 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2140 Duly noted. I'll put the Oxford comma back in. 1.3099 0.05880 71 50 20 1
2141 Do you remember when you said that being president of the co-op board is a thankless position? 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2142 ... and that's how she served the divorce papers... 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
2143 Thanks for calling, it never occurred to me to look there 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2144 Yes, I got your summons to appear. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2145 ..and I also don't appreciate your tone. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2146 Thought you should know I just got served by my ex. 1.3099 0.05880 71 50 20 1
2147 Got your note - mind if we chat? 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2148 I'm calling to report a summons turned violent. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2149 I thought our divorce was supposed to be painless. 1.3099 0.07921 71 57 6 8
2150 I've been stabbed in the back before, my friends. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2151 Yes. She gave me the divorce papers. 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2152 You know what hurts the most? No one told me I had a prenup stuck to my back all day. 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
2153 What gave you the idea I've ignored your memos? 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2154 Yes, my back pain is back again and I can't find my insurance papers. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2155 Hi, I would like to order some Post It notes for my wife, the kind with the sticky paste on the edge 1.3056 0.07568 72 57 8 7
2156 I've been subpoenaed to testify before congress. 1.3056 0.07305 72 56 10 6
2157 I know Dad. I’ve tried that. But, I still feel like I’m a target. 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2158 It seems my wife is ready for a Marital Reformation. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2159 Yes, I'm seriously thinking about getting out of politics. 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2160 It's like a stab in the back 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2161 I received the divorce papers from your attorney today. 1.3056 0.05814 72 51 20 1
2162 It seems I agreed to compulsory arbitration 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2163 My new job as poster boy is going well 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2164 My estranged wife, the circus knife-thrower, finally signed the divorce papers. 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2165 Yes, Mr. TRUMP, I have received your message. Same as Gov. Christie and AG Sessions. 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2166 Darling, where exactly did you put that letter from my mother? 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2167 I'd like to revise my opinion on Manuscript 5754: Idiot's Guide to Getting Published 1.3056 0.07305 72 56 10 6
2168 My wife served me with divorce papers. 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2169 My wife left me, but I don't know why. 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2170 I haven't read it, but I'm sure it's not good. 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2171 We've just been served. 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2172 My boss sent me home with a note today. 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2173 Yes, I too feel betrayed by the news! 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2174 Yes, I received your message. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2175 'Is it an emergency?' "I don't know, I can't read it?" 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2176 I really think I got the job this time. It felt like I nailed it. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2177 This Thanksgiving your mother has a few rules for the conversations we can have at the dinner table. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2178 Loud and clear, Bonnie. You get the ficus and the juicer. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2179 Don't ignore his emails. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2180 "What note"? 1.3043 0.07809 69 55 7 7
2181 I haven't gotten around to reading it, but she didn't bother with a process server. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2182 I'm requesting the delivery to put on my doorstep from now on. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2183 Honey, I can't find the list you left me... 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2184 Yes. I'm quite sure this is my last Will 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2185 I would say it's more like a honey die list. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2186 Hello 911? I'd like to report a Fake News attack! 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2187 Yes, I definitely got your point as I was leaving. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2188 Well, next time write it backwards, so at least I can read it in the mirror. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2189 So she gives me the divorce papers but really, how does she expect me to sign them? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2190 Okay, okay, you told me not to marry a Lutheran! 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2191 Yes, as a matter of fact, she personally delivered the property settlement papers. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2192 Her therapist is a strict Lutheran. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2193 I told him there was no way they were going to pin it on me! 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2194 The Pre-nup ? Not a good idea. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2195 Do you think I should watch my back? 1.3043 0.05950 69 49 19 1
2196 I'm overreacting?? Well, I'm sorry, but that's exactly the way these divorce papers make feel. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2197 She said that the five hundredth anniversary of Martin Luther's Reformation gave her the idea. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2198 No, I really didn't see that coming. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2199 You said to call as soon as I got the divorce papers. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2200 This is your editor returning your message. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2201 Well dear, tell your lawyer that I'm having a problem reading the fine print... 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2202 Yes they have a list of demands and Yes I think they mean business. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2203 I think I got the point 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2204 I would like to report a Coup! 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2205 My wife just delivered our divorce papers. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2206 I'm dealing with more Fake News than you can throw a knife at, really. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2207 Is it because I still depend on a land line? 1.3043 0.05950 69 49 19 1
2208 I'd like to leave a voice message for Marcus Junius Brutus please. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2209 These latest demands from her feel like a knife in the back. 1.3043 0.05950 69 49 19 1
2210 Oh, and by the way, please stop sticking your menus everywhere. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2211 I think she means it this time - she won't answer my emails. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2212 Can I call you back? Someone just left me a message. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2213 Hi, I’m calling to return all 95 of your messages 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2214 Well, she did point out that she won't miss me. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2215 I need an ambulance and a lawyer. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2216 ...and on top of everything else, she's a Lutheran now, too. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2217 Yes, I'd like to make a complaint about how I'm being served. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2218 Boy, am I ever sorry I voted for Trump! 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2219 The fake news is starting to feel real to me. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2220 Was she miffed? Yes, I think we can say "miffed" would apply. 1.3043 0.05950 69 49 19 1
2221 I'd like to speak with Martin Luther's supervisor please. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2222 I have to say that your last letter has really stuck with me. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2223 Just a pain in my back and a lost chores list. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2224 The bed in this suite is very uncomfortable. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2225 Ellen walked out on me again. This time she didn’t even leave a note. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2226 Yes, Doctor, my wife is a Lutheran. Why do you ask? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2227 No, Mom, she didn't sign the prenup. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2228 Hello, AT&T, yes, I think I'd like to change my Contract. Do you have something a little less painful? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2229 Sure, I'll give you the shirt off my back. Over my dead body. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2230 I have a complaint about the newspaper delivery person. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2231 While I'm not sure I can sign it, their lawyer did make a compelling point. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2232 I signed a couple bad contracts and now they won't get off my back! 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2233 Ok.. you made your point... 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2234 Hold on, I just received a text from my smartknife. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2235 You’re not going to stick me with another two year contract again, are you? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2236 No, I haven't seen the divorce papers yet. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2237 He was supposed to nail it to the door, right? 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2238 911? You see, I had just finished explaining the phrase stick it to me to my toddler... 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2239 They just delivered our middle income tax reform package 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2240 Yes? Hello? I'd like to complain about the newspaper delivery. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2241 I feel like there’s something I’m supposed to remember. 1.3043 0.05580 69 48 21 0
2242 That’s not the half of it; they charged me with carrying a concealed weapon. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2243 No, she didn't tell me in so many words. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2244 Honey, have you seen my last will and testament? 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2245 'My back is killing me!' is not a pre-existing condition. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2246 Take a stab at the reviews in the back. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2247 Hello, Mr Luther, this is Bob from 1517. Yes, your son Marty has been at it again. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2248 Yes, honey, I ordered more post-it's. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2249 Apparently, the 'terms and conditions' state that I can only refer to them as "the assailant". 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2250 I know you were raised as a Lutheran, but couldn't you just stuck your complaints on the door. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2251 Call me old school but a contract must cut both ways. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2252 Tell me again where you put the shopping list. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2253 I specifically told the man, "Post No Bills." 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2254 I’m finding it difficult to read the separation agreement. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2255 Hello, Mrs. Luther? Yes, I'm calling about your son Martin. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2256 I need an ambulance and a lawyer. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2257 Frankly, she didn't handle the divorce papers very well. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2258 Yes, Martin, I got your point. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2259 We weren't exactly happy, but I can't say I saw this coming. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2260 No, I’ve been extremely served. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2261 It's not the fine print that gets you. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2262 Where did you say you put the divorce papers? 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2263 Am I feeling listless? No, not exactly. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2264 Just to be clear - you have practiced pirate law before? 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2265 Next time just hand them to me. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2266 I got your letter and it really hurt. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2267 All I heard when she went out the door was “and here’s your damn pre-nup”. It felt like a stab in the back. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2268 No, I haven't actually seen the note...but I'm fairly certain she wants a divorce. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2269 Well their initial offer was acceptable... but they added an amendment I can't refuse. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2270 What do you mean this is just the first draft? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2271 Balding...German accent...accomplice called him Luther. 1.3043 0.08077 69 56 5 8
2272 No, their forms are NOT a pain in the neck. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2273 I'm not sure I'd call the divorce, "amicable". 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2274 I'm sorry, honey, I didn't see it. But I feel all of your concerns, especially the one about my not putting the toilette seat back down. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2275 Hello, Find A Mate, I want my money back. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2276 Hello Martin Luther? I think there's been a mistake. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2277 9-1-1, I've been manifestoed. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2278 I think I'm finally ready to give email a try. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2279 Your attorney just served me with divorce papers...would he happen to be Lutheran, per chance? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2280 My wife gets less and less subtle each year about what she wants for her birthday. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2281 I've looked everywhere for the shopping list. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2282 No, I asked for the MLK impersonator, not the Martin Luther impersonator. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2283 'I'm sorry but I have to cancel the movers, Iv'e been stuck with my old rental agreement for another year." 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2284 Seriously. I won't forget. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2285 The IRS is really getting tough with failure to pay on time! 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2286 Yes, I know I'm stuck with the fine print! 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2287 The Mrs. just served me with those divorce papers 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2288 The food was good, but I wasn't nuts about how they presented the check. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2289 "Yes, I got your note, I guess things haven't changed"!? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2290 Yea, I got it. Did you ever try using PostIt notes? 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2291 Saul, I'm being sued by Brutus, too. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2292 Can you call me back? 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2293 Sorry, not tonight . . . I’ve got 95 theses to read. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2294 9-1-1? "I'd like to report that some idiot thinks backstabbing is covered by the 2nd Amendment. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2295 Next time email will be just fine. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2296 I got your first note. Should I expect any follow-up? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2297 I vaguely recall you mentioning a list while I was watching the game. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2298 A simple pink slip would have been sufficient. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2299 Yes, I want a divorce too, but how do you expect me to sign the damn thing. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2300 I think she really means it this time. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2301 It's actually quite refreshing considering all of the front stabbers we've had this year. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2302 I'm beginning to think she was serious about the divorce. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2303 She left a note. It feels like a stab in the back. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2304 Et tu, Doris. You couldn't just leave an ordinary Dear John letter, like anyone else, could you? 1.3043 0.07809 69 55 7 7
2305 He said something about being related to Martin Luther. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2306 The insurance company said they would be on my side, not on my back. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2307 Yes, I am a middle class taxpayer. 1.3043 0.07809 69 55 7 7
2308 The hospital said I would experience some back pain when bill came. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2309 I sorry Mr. President I can't sign this well-worded resignation but it's definitely not because I don't want to. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2310 I am calling to report attempted reformation. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2311 Your aggressive advertising for the Caesar salad has me intrigued. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2312 She wants a divorce. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2313 My God Doctor, my wife's Lasik surgery has failed. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2314 Yes Doctor... My wife has her Martin Luther delusion back. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2315 Well no, I haven’t read it yet, but it SEEMS like an emergency ... 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2316 I have a few problems with your chapter about our marriage. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2317 No, I didn't get your message. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2318 Yes, I get the point. The check is in the mail. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2319 9-1-1, my name is William. Can you please send someone? My wife just tried to execute her will. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2320 What message? 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2321 Wikileaks evidently has a new way to release information. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2322 Tell my attorney I’m calling about the prenup. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2323 No, I don't think to say "getting this letter is a stab in the back" is exaggerating. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2324 Yes, she delivered the divorce papers herself. 1.3043 0.05950 69 49 19 1
2325 Hello, Martin? Martin Luther? 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2326 Hello. I would like to answer, what is black and white and red all over. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2327 Isn't it customary for a process server and not your client to deliver the divorce papers? 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2328 Hello, Mary? Please leave your message on the machine next time. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2329 I asked Marge to put it in writing. 1.3000 0.06222 70 51 17 2
2330 Not really an ache...More of a sharp manifesto. 1.3000 0.07973 70 57 5 8
2331 I can't find the list you left and the pain in my back still hasn't gone away. 1.3000 0.07151 70 54 11 5
2332 Yeah, the guy playing Luther took it really seriously. 1.3000 0.07151 70 54 11 5
2333 I haven't had a chance to read the fine print. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2334 I still haven't received your list of demands. 1.3000 0.06547 70 52 15 3
2335 It doesn't feel like a subpoena. I think it's the Ten Commandments. 1.3000 0.07435 70 55 9 6
2336 Just a bit of advice ...."watch your back." 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2337 I don't know. It could be a honey-do list or divorce papers. 1.3000 0.06547 70 52 15 3
2338 I just got your text. 1.3000 0.07151 70 54 11 5
2339 No, the reconciliation isn’t going well. 1.3000 0.06222 70 51 17 2
2340 I can't today Phil; my wife has given me a honey-do list 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2341 Yes, it's a fair contract, but there's one sticking point. 1.3000 0.05880 70 50 19 1
2342 Yes, I got her sign the pre-nup. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2343 So she found out she only gets the house... 1.3000 0.07435 70 55 9 6
2344 Yes. I found the grocery list, Helen. 1.3000 0.07435 70 55 9 6
2345 Honey, remember that argument I had with the mail carrier? 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2346 I can't remember exactly, I stuck it somewhere. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2347 I don't think she appreciated that article on self-improvement I gave her. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2348 Okay, so you didn't like the script. You could have just mailed it back. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2349 Let's just say I'm uncomfortable with the list of demands that they left behind my back. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2350 I can't play cards tonight, I'm stuck with a 'to do' list 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2351 I received your final notice. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2352 9-1-1? Yes, I'd like to report that I received an attack ad through the mail. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2353 I just received my new policy and I have a question about the deductible. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2354 I have the answer to our law suit. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2355 Well I did tell her I didn't like text messages. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2356 For once could you just leave the shopping list someplace I can find it? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2357 Maybe you're right, Bob. I should have seen this coming. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2358 As soon as I find a mirror--and master right to left , you'll get your darn report. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2359 Yes, I received it, but I'm having a hard time reading it. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2360 I am sorry Pamela, but that is no the way to serve a divorce notice 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2361 I received the documents from my wife. I don't believe that this will be settled amicably. 1.2985 0.06021 67 48 18 1
2362 I know I'm not supposed to call you, but I can't find our divorce papers. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2363 It was a stab and run, but they left all their insurance information. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2364 Sorry, I can't take any more messages. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2365 Yes, Monsignor, we have evidence that Martin Luther is back. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2366 Hello, I am just calling to confirm that I have received your message 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2367 The contract has one big sticking point. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2368 I got your point. I prefer Twitter. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2369 Yeah, my wife just had divorce papers served. Can you send an ambulance? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2370 Is that one-bedroom still available? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2371 hello, 911? yes, i can hold. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2372 Honey....where did you put the shopping list?? 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2373 Is that your final offer? 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2374 Yes, I think that I need a divorce attorney. My wife just nailed 95 thesis to my back. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2375 Hi honey! Yes, the paperwork is right where you left it 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2376 Yes, she left a note but I haven't read it yet. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2377 Sticky notes shouldn't hurt, should they? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2378 ...yes, I believe I’ve been served. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2379 Honey, I just received a copy of the Republican tax reform bill. 1.2985 0.07962 67 54 6 7
2380 The bill from the chiropractor came in. It didn’t make a difference. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2381 So I said, "Let's just take a stab at working out our divorce settlement," and she . . . 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2382 Yes, Mr President, I feel I'm well qualified. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2383 My wife just served me with divorce papers. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2384 No, Luther is not here and yes, he did leave his grievances with me. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2385 If you don't pick up the phone I'm dead. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2386 Hi, it's me. I got your message. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2387 Ma? Have you converted my bedroom yet? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2388 I haven't seen it. Was it a text or an email? 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2389 Oh, and I suppose because I didn't read your letter that now I'm "unfeeling." 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2390 Yes, I'm aware my account is overdue. Your representative was just here to inquire about it. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2391 Well does the doctor have any time free next week? 1.2985 0.06021 67 48 18 1
2392 I’ve been having trouble sleeping on my back. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2393 The new tax forms arrived. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2394 My Congressman just gave me a copy of the new tax bill. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2395 I need to speak to my attorney, please. It appears my wife has posted 95 reasons why she wants a divorce. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2396 Hold on. I think I just got served with divorce papers. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2397 Yes, I got the invitation to my funeral. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2398 Yes, I saw the doctor about my back pain...he said it's too long to explain... 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2399 I haven't read it but I'm assuming she wants a divorce. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2400 She really drove in the knife with these divorce papers. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2401 Yes, I know we agreed the title would be "Death Surprised Me" and I feel the ending is becoming clearer. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2402 This is clearly not what I expected when I suggested he took a stab at his homework. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2403 Protestant. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2404 I Agree 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2405 She said she was glad to see the back of me. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2406 Now, we both know nobody enjoys a good "KICK ME" sign more than I do, but I wish you'd found another way to attach it. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2407 She's really sore. But reading her complaint in the bathroom mirror, I'd say she's got it all backwards. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2408 She really stuck it to me. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2409 It's always the fine print that gets you. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2410 The backbiting has stopped. Now it's escalated to backstabbing ultimatums! 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2411 She took the divorce papers surprisingly well. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2412 I ran into Martin Luther today. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2413 No, literally. He literally stabbed me in the back, through a copy of the Constitution for some reason. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2414 There's a lot of backstabbing in the print media. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2415 I think someone has put out a contract on me. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2416 Yes, she left me the divorce papers to sign. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2417 No . . . it's a little higher up and more to the left . . . 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2418 Where did you put my honey-do list? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2419 No officer, I don't know the subject of the document. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2420 The Drug Facts info for my painkiller - honey, where'd you stick that? 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2421 ...then he mumbled something about indulgences and asked me if I had any Pepto. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2422 Tell the president that I got his return tweet! 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2423 Tell him that all submissions must go through proper channels. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2424 Yes, she served the divorce papers today. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2425 No, I cannot read what is on the paper. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2426 No, I'm tired of reading her notes in the mirror. I need you over here. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2427 Did you leave it somewhere I could find it? 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2428 Today’s news is killing me. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2429 Given how the divorce papers were served, Emily, I guess there's no chance of reconciliation. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2430 Couldn't have just sent an email? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2431 I'm pretty sure she stuck me with they're divorce papers. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2432 Yes, I need to hire a new Administrative Assistant. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2433 Just because I clicked "agree" instead of reading the Terms and Conditions, doesn't mean that it's okay for you to stab me in the back. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2434 Honey, have you seen the grocery list? 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2435 And we agree that when I take it out it becomes a legally enforceable blood pact. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2436 It's apparently true... I'd make a better door than a window. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2437 She ALWAYS has the last word. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2438 Honey, I can't find your to-do list. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2439 She finally signed the divorce papers but I'm left with this stabbing pain. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2440 My troubles are behind me. 1.2985 0.06021 67 48 18 1
2441 Where did you leave the divorce papers you want me to sign? 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2442 I don't have to read it to know she was mad as hell. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2443 I have to say again, Mildred, naming him Martin Luther was a really bad idea. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2444 I have this nagging feeling they didn't like our offer. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2445 I think it's a list of her complaints. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2446 My "To Do List" is killing me. 1.2985 0.05633 67 47 20 0
2447 I'd prefer not to take another message. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2448 Yes, sir.....I see sir. I agree it may have gone better with you here......no, I am quite certain I know the precise moment that contract negations broke down... 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2449 Wait a minute, she left a note around here somewhere. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2450 It's about the cable bill, I need to change delivery. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2451 Yes, my wife’s lawyer just delivered a copy of the divorce papers. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2452 HR Department please, it's about the termination letter. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2453 And then the second my back was turned... 1.2985 0.06021 67 48 18 1
2454 I don’t know. Who do you think yours is from? 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2455 No, officer. I don't mean it as a metaphor! 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2456 I haven't yet read the accompanying letter, but is it reasonable to surmise that I won't be getting a second interview? 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2457 Well Mom, she finally did it -- She served me with divorce papers... 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2458 So, long story short, we’re going through quite the Reformation in our relationship right now. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2459 My wife just got back to me. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2460 If you don't want to sign the prenup, you just should have said so! 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2461 A poison pen letter would have been enough... 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2462 My editor wants me to take another stab at it. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2463 Thanks for the heads up, but my wife just delivered the divorce papers. . 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2464 Her divorce lawyer is evidently Lutheran. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2465 Gotta go. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2466 I have a problem with your user agreement. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2467 Honey, I can't find your shopping list anywhere! 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2468 So I can assume you won't be coming home tonight dear? 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2469 The proposal was rejected. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2470 Yes, Luther. L-U-T-H-E-R. 1.2985 0.07962 67 54 6 7
2471 She gave me some divorce papers so I think she's on to us. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2472 Hello, New Yorker magazine, I have a copy of the latest GOP tax bill. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2473 No, not tattoo removal. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2474 Well, I think they're pretty strict Terms and Conditions. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2475 Yes, I'm certain they are divorce papers. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2476 Et tu, Telemarketer? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2477 She's gone, and something tells me she won't be back. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2478 In the future, I'd really appreciate it if you just left me a voicemail message. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2479 Well, the chef begs to differ and I think he makes a very, strong point. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2480 ``I can't find the prenup anywhere.'' 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2481 I'd like to report a hate rhyme 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2482 Honey, I'm telling you, I've looked everywhere and I can't find this "To Do List" you say you've left for me. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2483 Yes, and I don’t think she’s happy with it. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2484 It's that age old dilemma .. I never know whether to take it figuratively .. or literally. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2485 Yes, I have a complaint about your delivery service. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2486 Yes, I suppose it is ironic that she called the prenup a betrayal. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2487 I would be interested, but I really can't pull out of my current contract. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2488 Why, yes -- I did get the divorce papers from your lawyer today. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2489 I don't like being a target of fake news. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2490 I don’t know why she keeps saying I’m clueless about feelings 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2491 I know you have a long list of complaints but if you don't come back, who's going to get the stain out of my shirt? 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2492 She left some divorce papers for me to sign. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2493 No. I can't read to you. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2494 Well , Detective, it started off with a simple "kick me"... 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2495 Except for a few, minor hitches, she took the news rather well. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2496 No, your daughter has been expressing her feelings quite clearly lately 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2497 Yes sir, I did receive the notice about cutbacks. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2498 Rejecting my submission?! Talk about adding insult to injury! 1.2985 0.06021 67 48 18 1
2499 She left me a message, but I can't read it. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2500 Your wife isn't ready to settle yet. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2501 When I asked for a pointed reply, this wasn't what I expected. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2502 Is it too late to cancel that reservation? 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2503 My wife doesn't want to remortgage. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2504 We will give fair consideration to your application, but you will not be given any preference over those who submitted electronically. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2505 Yeah, I think his name is Luther. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2506 This tax plan feels like a knife in the back, but they say it will trickle down in our pockets 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2507 Sorry, I don't know where my wife put it. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2508 I would like to cancel my subscription to Threats Weekly. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2509 My wife thinks she's the next Martin Luther. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2510 Luther, the company's policy is to post your ideas on the message board. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2511 Yes dear I got your shopping list. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2512 Trolling on Facebook would suffice 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2513 It’s what we get for raising him Lutheran. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2514 Are you sure? Because billing just told me to talk to you about this 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2515 I've been reminded to make a reservation for Shakespeare's Julius Cesar 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2516 Sorry honey, but I can't really find your shopping list. Where is it? 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2517 "She served the papers right after the pot roast". 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2518 Nana finally signed her will 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2519 We are processing back orders now. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2520 Hello Stan? Yes, I just got it, and no, Claire delivered it herself. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2521 Yes, I got the point of your message. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2522 No I didn't see your note. Where did you leave it? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2523 Divorce papers? What divorce papers? 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2524 She keeps complaining that I'm impenetrable. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2525 A petition demanding my resignation? No, haven't seen a thing. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2526 This bill is a stab in the back. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2527 Honey, I can't find the divorce papers 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2528 Work is going about the same as always. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2529 I've just been served the divorce papers. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2530 Mr Luther, please? 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2531 Are you sure you remembered to tip the paperboy? 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
2532 Can I help you?" "Yes you can". "How do I get the IRS off my back?". "And please do not transfer me again! 1.2985 0.07962 67 54 6 7
2533 Yes, hello, you said to call you back after I was served with the divorce papers. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2534 Yes, she just served me with divorce papers, but I've been unable to read them. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2535 I’m telling you, all I said was remove the crust and cut it into quarters! 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2536 I got your pointed message. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2537 I'm sure it doesn't say "Kick Me". 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2538 Hi Gene, we're not coming to counseling this week. For the first time in a long while I saw my wife and got a little tingle in my spine so I'm going to see where this goes. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2539 I wish to report an illegal posting of a political campaign poster. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2540 Do you give credit for back payment? 1.2969 0.06929 64 48 13 3
2541 Where did you find that divorce lawyer? 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2542 Yes, I just got s copy of the new GOP tax plan! 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
2543 Are you serious about wanting to break up? 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
2544 This is what gives class action lawsuits a bad name. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2545 I haven't read it yet, but it still hurts. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2546 Well, officer, the knife is real, although the news may be fake. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2547 Fine, I'll hold. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2548 Meryl served me the papers today so I guess she's serious about going through with the divorce. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2549 Yes, I received the letter from your attorney. I just haven't gotten around to it yet. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2550 She did it. She finally signed the divorced papers. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2551 Front desk...Couldn't you have just slipped the bill under the door? 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2552 Yes, she just had me served with the divorce papers. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2553 Honey, I just located the Honeydo list. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2554 Dr. Luther, even though it is the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, I would appreciate it if you used more traditional methods of communication. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2555 Yes, you can say that I have been served. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2556 I can't believe she took her final stab at filing for divorce today! 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2557 Yes, dear. I got your honey do list. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2558 Yes, my last name is Wittenberg, but you're delivery is 500 years late... 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2559 I tried to tell her that I was only the messenger! 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2560 We are not currently interested in a romantic getaway. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2561 Well, I still haven't read it, but now I know where he was coming from. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2562 It only hurts when I laugh. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2563 Honey, do you remember where you put the dagger remover? 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2564 Just a hunch, but I think Bob Mueller wants to ask me some questions. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2565 I know, but still, I never received the email confirmation. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2566 Yes, the President just hired me personally. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2567 Ironically its a paring knife. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2568 Yes, I'm sure I'd rather get the paper online. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2569 My wife has some questions about the will you drafted. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2570 Frank, can we move our tee-time? My honey-do list is a bit longer than I thought. 1.2941 0.07571 68 54 8 6
2571 Please tell Mr. Luther that his theses was delivered to the wrong address. 1.2941 0.07571 68 54 8 6
2572 Yeah, the tax plan is a bust, but at least GOP backstabs are covered under the ACA. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2573 Don't shoot the messenger? 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2574 I know you think I'm an unfeeling ,insensitive, cold shoulder kind of guy,but can we get together at the ER and talk about it? 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2575 Remember how in the last session, you told her she needed express herself unreservedly? 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2576 Nah, she always does this whenever I forget her birthday. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2577 I think we overplayed our hand a bit with that ultimatum. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2578 Apparently the new generation of internet trolls is neither anonymous nor terse. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2579 I’m getting a painful feeling your serious about this divorce. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2580 I forgot another anniversary. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2581 Martin? You just missed him. 1.2941 0.07571 68 54 8 6
2582 This is your idea of amicable? 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2583 Spencer is in his Martin Luther phase. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2584 No I didn't misdial 911. She literally filed me with divorce papers behind my back. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2585 I know, Reggie, but only exceptional MBA students in the management curriculum learn this after only two weeks. Impressive. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2586 Sorry to be so annoying, but I have a sharp pain in my back - so I won't make it to work. I have a note from my therapist. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2587 I'd say it's time to take her concerns more seriously. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2588 The stabbing pain is my body sending me a message? I don't see it. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2589 No Evelyn, I haven't gotten around to reading your list of demands yet. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2590 Hello 911? I've been stabbed in the back again. Yes, I work in advertising. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2591 Get off my back! 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2592 I think I have been served with divorce papers. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2593 I just got sued by my back-stabbing partner. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2594 I think I have had it with being Attorney General. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2595 I think the divorce attorney came by today. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2596 Well, it's a little skin off my back. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2597 Brutus no longer lives here. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2598 Apparently there are 99 of them. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2599 She told me she has my back. 1.2923 0.07821 65 52 7 6
2600 All that talk about a kinder and gentler IRS? Not so much. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2601 Honestly, I’m feeling rather upbeat now that I’ve put all that hate mail behind me. 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2602 I'd like to report a complaint regarding my delivery. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2603 Yes so the divorce is final. Signatures have dried. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2604 Yes, I got the message, but I can't read it. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2605 "Hi mom, just keeping you up to date, I received my divorce papers today"! 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2606 Ok, I get the message 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2607 Yes, I received the message. 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2608 Yes, Google? I'm calling to complain about your new service, 'DirkMail.' 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2609 The column you wrote was quite sharp. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2610 Is your grocery store still open? My wife has a list of items she wanted me to pick up. 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2611 She is definitely serious. I haven't been able to read them yet, but she says they are non-negotiable . 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2612 It's sort of a sharp, stabbing pain. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2613 She made her point. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2614 I’m taking notes. 1.2923 0.05685 65 46 19 0
2615 They said thats all behind me now. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2616 How do I know he wants a divorce? I just... have a feeling. 1.2923 0.07821 65 52 7 6
2617 Ok, I'll call you when the phone company gets off my back. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2618 We have spirited religious debates. I’m Catholic and Linda’s Lutheran. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2619 Honey, where did you say you put that to-do list you left for me? 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2620 Hold on. I think my wife is trying to tell me something. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2621 Her mother just delivered the divorce papers. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2622 I got your note. What's up? 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2623 Hello 911? My son seems to be in a Martin Luther phase. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2624 I need your help with a Post It Note my wife left me. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2625 I realize I complained about your food once, but I would still prefer to receive the weekly menu by fax only. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2626 We've been working on our costumes for the Reformation 500 Anniversary party. Cathy is going as Martin Luther--I'm trying on the 95 theses right now. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2627 I've got a funny feeling she knows something's up. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2628 I'm not sure we should still use the same attorney. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2629 That article was a real stab in the back. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2630 Got your message. You seem to be unhappy with my counteroffer on alimony. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2631 Yes, Mr. Luther was here, and left his theses. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2632 I never imagined that being served the divorce papers would hurt this much. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2633 I don't know if it's in all caps. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2634 No, I don't know why yet, but I'm pretty sure it's over. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2635 I think it may be some kind of cease and desist order but I haven’t been able to get to it. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2636 I've been stabbed in the back before but never with a list of reasons 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2637 Ok, for the last time, I've received no such summons, now get of of my back! 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2638 And in another ironic twist of fate, guess how they delivered my hospital bill? 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2639 Thanks, but I already got her message. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2640 I didn't actually see the courier, but I know he was here. 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2641 Just switch me to the electronic version of your newsletter ! 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2642 Hello Maddie. I'm calling to let you know I received the divorce papers. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2643 They said this is how they execute a contract over here. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2644 Let me guess. You're mad I get to keep the painting. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2645 Martin was here and he's pretty angry. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2646 Yeah, the contract took some sharp criticism.... 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2647 I think it’s that explanation of benefits that I asked for... 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2648 Honey, I just received my job evaluation and I don't think I will be home tonight. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2649 Something tells me I've put off the 'honey do' list a bit too long... 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2650 I'd like to have a word with Mr. Luther, please. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2651 Mom, you may be hearing that I am not working in the West Wing anymore. 1.2923 0.07821 65 52 7 6
2652 Et tu, Wells Fargo? 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2653 Lost the grocery list again. Do we need frozen waffles? 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2654 I'd like to complain about your company's bill collector. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2655 I can’t make it. Apparently something needs my attention. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2656 My new neighbor is a Lutheran. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2657 I'd love to move but I can't get out of my lease. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2658 I told her our argument was pointless but she proved me wrong. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2659 Yes, I had called earlier about a missing newspaper. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2660 All I can tell you is that I'm picking up a really weird vibe at work. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2661 That's some sharp feedback for sure! 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2662 Your lawyer was here. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2663 The divorce lawyer just dropped off my copy. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2664 911? This is the middle class. We'd like to report an attempted homicide called the GOP tax plan. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2665 I’m just saying there’s got to be a better way to serve divorce papers. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2666 I was hoping we could settle this amicably. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2667 Never mind insensitive! Where did you leave our divorce papers? 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2668 Officer, I want to report a threat. It's in da Vinci mirror code. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2669 I lost the acupuncture forms again. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2670 The 'Dear John' I can accept, it's the delivery I have issue with.... 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2671 Honey, did you say something about a to-do list before you left? 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2672 It started when I gave him ‘a punch list.’ 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2673 "She just left without even leaving a note". 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2674 Mum, can we please have less of the 'But she's Lutheran, I knew it would come to this' talk... 1.2923 0.07821 65 52 7 6
2675 She wants a divorce. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2676 Sure I feel betrayed, but at least it's all behind me now. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2677 Francis, I want to report a Martin Luther sighting. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2678 I'm not sure but she said something about divorce papers. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2679 Correct. I’d like to repay my student loans please. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2680 My wife is gonna kill me if I don't work on that list, but I can't find it! 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2681 Now where did she put the divorce papers again? 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2682 Mother was here, she left a note. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2683 Message received. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2684 It feels serious. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2685 Yes Doris, your divorce papers did come through. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2686 The ultimatum my wife just gave sure does sting. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2687 I think someone's trying to tell me something. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2688 I think my wife is trying to tell me something. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2689 I don't know, I can't read it. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2690 I've received their hostile takeover offer. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2691 As a matter of fact, I did just receive the divorce papers, Gladys. 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2692 I just heard back from your attorney. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2693 I get the feeling she's trying to send me a message. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2694 I know, Mr. Shapiro, she was just here.... 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2695 I’m pretty sure it’s the pre-nup. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2696 She did let me have her great-grandpa's hunting knife. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2697 I know the wedding is next week, mom, but she's indicated she has some problems with the prenup. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2698 This 'Honey-Do' list is brutal. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2699 Excuse me for a moment. I think I just received another message. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2700 I know she left me a list somewhere. 1.2923 0.07821 65 52 7 6
2701 I’d like to sign up for electronic delivery of my account documents in the future. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2702 I can't sign the settlement papers if I don't know where you put them, Joan. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2703 Honey, where did you put the to do list? 1.2923 0.07821 65 52 7 6
2704 some one is trying to tell me something 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2705 "Hello Doctor, I have a pain in my back and I think it's trying to tell me something.' 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
2706 911? I've been attacked by my health insurance provider. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2707 I wish she had just emailed the divorce papers. 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
2708 Uhh, no dear, I haven't seen it. You said you stuck it, where?? 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2709 My wife. Don't ask, I just know. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2710 I've got a stabbing pain in my back. And a long list of other symptoms. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2711 911? Joe Taxpayer here. Just got stabbed in the back with the GOP tax plan..... 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
2712 Yes, she's calling it her '22 Theses,' for each year of our marriage. 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
2713 I can see that you’ve taken all your things, but I can’t seem to find the note you keep telling me you left. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2714 I've been asked to join the reformation. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2715 Man, my back is killing me. 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
2716 I turned my back for a moment and she was gone but she left a note 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2717 Fake news hurts. 1.2879 0.07714 66 53 7 6
2718 It feels like there's a hole in the contract. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2719 I just received the divorce papers. 1.2879 0.07406 66 52 9 5
2720 My boss made sure I got the point to bring some work home today. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2721 I take it then that it is over between us. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2722 Ya. I got it. But, unfortunately for you, it looks like you hit "reply all." 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2723 Yes, of course I got your list of demands. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2724 Her divorce request was painful in so many ways. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2725 Good, so you received our friendly reminder. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2726 I am sure I get the point of the memo 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2727 Could you please reconnect me with the whistleblower hotline? 1.2879 0.07406 66 52 9 5
2728 No Doc, I think she really means it this time! 1.2879 0.06017 66 48 17 1
2729 Yes, I've got your message, could you please use my email next time 1.2879 0.07406 66 52 9 5
2730 I thought Dear John letters were typically left on the kitchen counter. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2731 Hello, Fingers? You know how I said they'll never pin it on me? 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2732 Your process server was very insistent that I call immediately. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2733 Thanks for getting back to me 1.2879 0.07714 66 53 7 6
2734 Yes, I did show her the prenuptial agreement. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2735 I'm dying to read your ultimatum! 1.2879 0.06017 66 48 17 1
2736 No, I'd not be willing to take a brief survey after this call. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2737 Sorry, I can't golf today. I've gotten my wife's to-do list. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2738 I have a complaint about the recent delivery of my order for a back issue. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2739 I didn't realize our marriage needed a Protestant reformation. 1.2879 0.07406 66 52 9 5
2740 OK, I got your point. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2741 Well it all started when I refused to sign the divorce papers... 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2742 I don’t know what their demands are. They were pretty angry and I don’t have a three-way mirror. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2743 Hello, Wittenberg Castle church? 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2744 I keep having these paranoid thoughts. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
2745 Yes, dear. The divorce papers have been served. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
2746 911? My wife seems to be missing and I also need help for a sharp pain I've had since this morning. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2747 She did make one point in her favor. 1.2857 0.06167 63 46 16 1
2748 Its not so much that they're talking behind my back ... 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
2749 So I told her, 'Just go ahead and take a stab at making those divorce allegations stick.' 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2750 I know I promised to change my will, dear, but your reminders are getting a bit extreme. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2751 ...and you ruined my favorite shirt. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
2752 I'd like to report a manifesto... 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2753 I get the point! 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2754 On second thought, I’ll sign up for e-billing. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
2755 No, Doc, the pain is no longer in my neck. 1.2857 0.05737 63 45 18 0
2756 I've been hacked. 1.2857 0.06167 63 46 16 1
2757 Fine, I'll read your manuscript! 1.2857 0.06167 63 46 16 1
2758 You know, it's a pain to keep checking your lists of things for me to do." 1.2857 0.06167 63 46 16 1
2759 My wife is missing, and yes, she left a note, but I can't read it. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2760 Can someone in your practice represent me? I was just served with a divorce warrant. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2761 Et tu, Donald? 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2762 I can't seem to find it anywhere. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
2763 Can you help me? I forgot where my wife put the directions. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2764 'Somehow I don't think this is the step toward better communication our therapist had in mind.' 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2765 I think it's divorce papers but I can't read upside down. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2766 I'm letting my lawyer handle it. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
2767 Then she muttered something about her 95 Theses. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2768 Shall I assume you won't be making dinner tonight? 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2769 Where did you leave the divorce agreement? 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2770 They got back to me 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2771 How did you send it? 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2772 You could have just tweeted your Dear John letter 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2773 No, I can’t read the ransom note! 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2774 When I sexted her I had no idea she was a pirate and a lawyer. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2775 Yeah I got the divorce papers; it's my fault for marrying a reformation historian in the first place. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2776 Apparently, she's accused me of being unfeeling. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2777 I feel like she's trying to tell me something. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2778 Doctor Stevens, thank you for the procedure and I received the bill, but the back pain is persistent. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2779 Scaramucci lied! He is a back stabber! 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2780 Well, it's not exactly a friendly divorce if you must know. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2781 She filed yesterday, but it still hasn't sunk in. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2782 I need to go now and call my shrink. This poison pen letter is killing me! 1.2857 0.06793 70 54 12 4
2783 I think this makes me the Party of the Second Part. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2784 For once in my life I can't hold. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2785 I've received half my order and the invoice, but I'm still waiting on the cloak. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
2786 Your mother-in-law left a message. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2787 YES, I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BACK 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2788 Yes I'm sure it's more than a harmless "KICK ME" Post-It note. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2789 I would describe it as a stabbing pain in my back. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2790 yes sir...I did receive my prepared statement for the Congressional Hearing today. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2791 No, nothing in the tax plan gives me an unfavorable opinion of the President. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2792 My vote for Trump was predicated on a middle-class tax cut. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2793 Is it too late to opt for paperless checkout? 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2794 It may be fake news, but it's making an impression on me. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2795 I haven't seen the note but it feels like a betrayal. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2796 He says I was given a full explanation in writing but I haven't seen it. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2797 I'm guessing it will be a painful divorce. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2798 I've put all that behind me. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2799 Senator, I just want to thank you for the tax cuts. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2800 She took almost everything, and I can't find the divorce papers anywhere. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2801 No, I don't have my account number handy at the moment. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2802 No, on the contrary, we're going to renew our vows. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2803 Yes dear, I know you wrote down a 'honey do' list, but I seem to have misplaced it. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
2804 Based on the weight, I'm guessing it's around six pages. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2805 I received your notice but I am having trouble reading it. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2806 No, I didn't read the fine print. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2807 When I joined, you told me I was set-up for paperless billing. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2808 ...ok, now picture Martin Luther 1.2812 0.05665 64 46 18 0
2809 You really want us to end on a stuck note? 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2810 Hello, I have a complaint about Stab-o-Grams. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
2811 It seems my wife has come to an agreement on our divorce issues. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2812 I think I could have been a little more diplomatic. 1.2812 0.06087 64 47 16 1
2813 Being let go after all these years was like a knife in the back 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2814 I didn't get a chance to read it. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2815 I thought you had my back 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2816 Are you sure you really feel this way? 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
2817 Yes, I'm Martin J. Luther, the great great great great great great grandson of THE Martin Luther and I want to speak to to someone at the Vatican! NOW!! 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
2818 Hello, Washington Post 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2819 Yes, I got the message. I'll vote for Moore. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
2820 So, you're saying we're getting a divorce? 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2821 I think she could have just as easily handed it to me. 1.2812 0.06087 64 47 16 1
2822 So your editorial judgement is no longer rewrite and resubmit? 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2823 So.... uhm, I got your final notice.... 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
2824 I'm serious -- all this paperwork is killing me. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2825 It's been brought to my attention that I'm late paying my cable bill. 1.2812 0.06087 64 47 16 1
2826 Wait, my wife just sent me a message. 1.2794 0.05869 68 50 17 1
2827 It appears I've misplaced the draft of our prenup. 1.2794 0.05869 68 50 17 1
2828 I can't find your "to do" list. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2829 Tell Trump to tweet me next time! 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2830 A bit redundant, don't you think? 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2831 Hello? Mrs. Johnson? Your son just delivered his homework. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2832 Yes, honey, I now see what you mean about those guys at the office who are always trying to pin it on somebody else. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2833 Yes, as a matter of fact, the employees union did present a list of their demands today. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2834 No problem. My attorney has just back-dated it. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2835 But dear, where do you put my to-do list? 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2836 Can you give me a clue where you left it? 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2837 I'm sorry you couldn't find the stamps. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2838 No! No more like that, I'll only accept emails. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2839 Apparently there are a hundred reasons why I deserved it. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2840 Hello. Is this Bishop Rimbo at NYC Evangelical Lutheran Church? My name is Adorin Wittenburg. I'd like to talk to you about your 500th Reformation Anniversary re-enactment festivities. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2841 I took a stab at the prenup. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2842 I've had it with the 'honey do' list. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2843 I appreciate your being up front. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2844 I know I should have seen it coming that she would stab me in the back, but I just didn't expect her to be so literal about it. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2845 I was just about to change my shirt.....can you call back in a few minutes ? 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2846 Sorry for calling after hours, Carol, but did you get the performance review that I left on your desk? 1.2787 0.08142 61 50 5 6
2847 Honey, where did you put the grocery list? 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2848 No, I didn't get your note. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2849 Just confirming I'm still on the Do-Not-Call list. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2850 I always thought she would do this, and knowing her there's a list somewhere as to the reasons why. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2851 Can you hold? I believe I've been summoned. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2852 Martin Luther was just here. He wasn't happy. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2853 Yes, yes I got your point. You really know how to hurt a guy, don't you? 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2854 Hi. Sorry I'm not home right now. Please leave me a message. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2855 Trust me, they can make the charges stick. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2856 They're not playing pin the tail on the donkey the way I remember it. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2857 I don’t know why she left, Mom, but I do know that she was pretty angry. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2858 Martin, eliminate the pre-nup. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2859 She's finally left me. I think. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2860 Something about the Reformation. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2861 He said he had my back. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2862 Dear, there's still a few things I have to pick up. Oh, by the way, I got my severance package today. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2863 Tell me, again, where you put the “To Do” list. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2864 Would you please come over and tell me why Margaret left me? 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2865 Yes, I would like to make a complaint on how your subpoenas are served. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2866 My autbiography, yes..... Yes, my ghostwriter wife did take a stab at it. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2867 Yes Helen I got your note and frankly, I'm damn glad you're leaving. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2868 Put me through to the Reformation desk please. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2869 No, I wouldn't call it a love letter. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2870 I know you told me where the list was, but I still can't find it. 1.2787 0.08142 61 50 5 6
2871 Put me on your no call list, stop with the constant emails and please refrain from knifing me in the back with your promotional materials! 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2872 I cannot find my notes, I will have to call you back. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2873 Of course I wrote down all my passwords and email addresses, but retrieval isn't an option at the moment. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2874 So exactly how far past due is my MasterCard? 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2875 No dear, what instructions? 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2876 Is this the desk? Could you send someone up to read the new codicil to my father's will? 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2877 We need new costumes. Joe and Anne are going as 'Martin Luther and the Church,' too! 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2878 It's always the fine print that kills me. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2879 Thank God I didn't say "Shot through the heart" 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2880 Mmm... it's more like a tingling sensation. 1.2787 0.05788 61 44 17 0
2881 4,000 signatures telling me to quit telling my jokes at parties? 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2882 Seriously dear, I don't remember where you pinned the grocery list. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2883 I'd like to file a complaint against your collection agency. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2884 I'm starting to sense that I've been neglecting my household chores. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2885 Couldn't you have sent an email? 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2886 Yes, I'd like to inquire about your on-line billing option? 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2887 Ok, I’ve got the message. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2888 The divorce papers came as a real stab in the back. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2889 Martin Luther, please. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2890 I'd like to discuss my cable bill. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2891 I'm telling you I can't find it 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2892 I got 95 theses but indulgence aint one. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2893 Let me take a stab at that.. No wait...! 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2894 About the health insurance premium increase reminder… 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2895 I think they nailed it! 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2896 Read between the lines? What about read between the ribs? 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2897 It's over, yet I feel nothing-- turns out I really am spineless 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2898 Listen here, Martin, I told you I'd take a look at the church door and I will. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2899 Yes dear, I got your list 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2900 Did you mean to post that on Craig's List? 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2901 It's more of a stabbing pain. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2902 I'm trying to reach my wife, Edict. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2903 I know you think I'm forgetful and insensitive, but I can't find your 'honeydew' list. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2904 Yes, Vivian, I received the divorce papers this morning. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2905 No I can't count them, but I am pretty sure it was Martin Luther. 1.2787 0.08142 61 50 5 6
2906 Yes, Louise, as a matter of fact, your attorney DID serve me with the divorce papers. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2907 I don't know what it is, but I'm feeling like someone is targeting me. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2908 Yes, well, at least they listed their grievances this time. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2909 Yes, I’ve been served. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2910 Next time send your demands via email, please. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2911 It would seem I'm a part of a much larger plot. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2912 Yes, I picked up your new iPhone. Though I don't think you'll like the terms of service agreement. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2913 i was explaining mansplaining to her and she tore the notes out of my hand... 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2914 I suggested marriage counseling, but she's Lutheran. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2915 Darling, I've got this terrible feeling there's something you're not telling me. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2916 I wish you'd called first instead of leaving the note. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2917 The divorce is final. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2918 This mnemonic device is too painful to use. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2919 I don't think that she's willing to sign the NDA. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2920 I’m beginning to sense that I have a target on my back. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2921 The papers were served and I feel like I got stabbed in the back. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2922 So you're saying I've been served? 1.2787 0.08142 61 50 5 6
2923 She said I needed to reform; then she posted her 95 reasons. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2924 I haven't seen the bill yet, but I'm not looking forward to it. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2925 Do you do take out? 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2926 I prefer tracked changes. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2927 They just barged in and said, 'This is from Vlad.' Then I said, 'Putin or the Impaler?' 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2928 I have the divorce papers right here. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2929 Honey, I can't do the grocery shopping: my back is killing me. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2930 Help, I'm a victim of Protestantism. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2931 “I think she just filed for divorce”. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2932 No, I can't find the newspaper... But my back hurts. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2933 I think it’s something I picked up at the office. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2934 Well...it was certainly pointed response. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2935 Hello 911. This is the man who mistook his wife for a hat? Remember me? Well, she just mistook me for a church door! 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2936 Customer service? I received my order of 95 Theses but I have a complaint about the delivery method. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2937 it's me again, I can't believe you didn't even leave a farewell note 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2938 Well, she didn't shaft me...but I got her point. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2939 Yes dear, I'm certain we can't back out of the agreement. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2940 This is the second time he stabbed me in the back, this time literally with a rather convincing explanation 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2941 Yes, I gave him a copy of your resume. No, I think a follow-up phone call would be sufficient. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2942 I have a message I am supposed to give you but I can't seem to find it. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2943 Do you mind putting me up tonight? My wife just hand delivered divorce papers and I need a place to stay. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2944 I think Doris has found someone else. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2945 I understand that I can't get out of my contract. But can I get the contract out of me? 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2946 They hit me with the subpoena today. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2947 At first, it seemed cool having Paul Hogan as a roommate, but I'm having second thoughts. 1.2787 0.05788 61 44 17 0
2948 What was it you wanted me to read? 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2949 I thought I would be safe on the Ides of November. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2950 The divorce papers are bad enough, but did the messenger have to shout 'Et Tu, Brian?' 1.2787 0.05788 61 44 17 0
2951 When I find it I will get back to you. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2952 I think you took your Notice of Eviction too far. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2953 Yeah, until I put my foot down, my wife's Honey-Do list use to be a pain in the butt. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2954 I told you, it wouldn't have happened if I'd finished reading the instructions first. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2955 And then she said "I'll show YOU self-serving!" 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2956 I paid the rent Donald. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2957 Our attempt to communicate without text messaging is not working 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2958 Hello, Attorney Jones. My estranged wife has finally posted her list of demands. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2959 No, I can’t tell you what it says; but that’s not my complaint. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2960 Tell my attorney that I think she's serious this time. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2961 Mueller here. I couldn't find anything. 1.2787 0.08142 61 50 5 6
2962 I just had a disturbing visit from Martin. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2963 Your process server is a bit overzealous. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2964 Yes, he had some sharp words for me. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2965 Yes, I followed the directions. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2966 Then she said, ‘Actually, I have 95 reasons.’ 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2967 Well, I guess this is what I get for marrying a Luthern. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2968 Now I know what you mean when you said divorce can be painful 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2969 Yes, Senator McConnell, I just took another stab at drafting a middle-class tax cut. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2970 I was the one who filed for divorce but her fingerprints are all over it. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2971 Her demands seem reasonable. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
2972 Enough with the targeted advertising. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2973 Honestly, I wouldn't remember if you put a gun to my head. 1.2769 0.05593 65 47 18 0
2974 I'd like to report an act of heresy. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
2975 Can't go bowling tonight. The wife just gave me her shopping list. She's serious this time. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
2976 I was trying to put death and taxes behind me. 1.2742 0.06157 62 46 15 1
2977 I GET THE POINT LET ME GO TO A MIRROR AND READ YOUR OFFER MORE CLEARLY. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
2978 So I took a stab at being a letter carrier for a while. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
2979 The editor back-stabbed me. 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
2980 I got your edits to the prenuptial agreement. 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
2981 What's surprising is that we've never even considered divorce. Murder sometimes, but never divorce. 1.2742 0.07685 62 50 7 5
2982 Yes, I suppose it could be murder-suicide, but I can't find any note. 1.2742 0.07685 62 50 7 5
2983 Don't come in tomorrow? What are you talking about? I never saw any memo about layoffs. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
2984 Yes, I believe his last name is Luther. 1.2742 0.07685 62 50 7 5
2985 Are you sure there is no way to have me unstuck from this contract? 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
2986 I’ve been attacked by a Martin Luther impersonator. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
2987 Martin Luther’s first day as a process server. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
2988 You said you’d get back to me. 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
2989 Next time Paul McCartney tells you to let Martin Luther in? DON’T. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
2990 Ummm...I think my wife knows about us. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
2991 Honey, what's an 'indulgence'? 1.2742 0.06157 62 46 15 1
2992 My wife's Lutheran, Dr. Martz, so I'm guessing there are probably 95 complaints on her list for discussion at the next session. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
2993 I was just standing in a church doorway... 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
2994 I do not appreciate your back stabbing letter. 1.2742 0.07685 62 50 7 5
2995 Your friend Luther dropped by again. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
2996 Yes officer , I realize this is a no fault divorce state . 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
2997 I'm thinking of quitting the bible study group. The reformation is more challenging than I anticipated. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
2998 Honey, where did you put the to do list? 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
2999 They love me at that office. They all tell me, "Don't worry, we have your back." I am still looking for my most recent evaluation. 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
3000 I have received poison-pen letters, but right now I have a knife-in-the-back letter that's starting to hurt. 1.2742 0.06157 62 46 15 1
3001 After a while you get a pretty good feel for what people on the shop floor hold dear. But it's not all roses I can tell you! 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
3002 No I haven't been able to read the contract yet." "Yes, they delivered a copy." "Um, about that.... 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3003 Just got the news from my wife! 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3004 You stabbed me in the back for all the wrong reasons! 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3005 Sorry honey, once again I lost the shopping list. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3006 I have a small issue with your terms and conditions. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3007 Honey, the kids are complaining about tofu night again. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3008 I'm pretty sure he was trying to send me a message." 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3009 Remember the story about Luther pinning his demands on the church door? 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3010 All I said to my kids was, "Give me one good reason this family really needs cell phones"! 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3011 Yes, I received the subpoena. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3012 My wife stabs me in the back with divorce papers and you think I don't need an ambulance? 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3013 I need help, my wife just served me with divorce papers. 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
3014 So you didn't like my column. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3015 How should I know what it says? I can't read it! 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3016 I get this feeling that someone has a contract out on me. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3017 Hey, I got your flyer and I would like to order a large pepperoni. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3018 She said she was serving me with divorce papers but I have yet to see them. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3019 I'm very sorry I forgot the butter and lettuce last time, Marge, but I do think this reminder is a bit over the top. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3020 Yes, Attorney Bornstein, I have a nagging suspicion she's gone for good this time. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3021 Hello, I'd like to report another misdelivered letter. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3022 Yes, I'm pretty sure it's in English. 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
3023 I can't find the honey-do list you left me. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3024 No, I didn't read the terms and conditions! 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3025 I still want to believe that this will be an amicable property settlement. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3026 Well, she finally had the papers served and I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3027 Where did you say you were going to leave the note to remind me? 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3028 That's right, I'll go back to paperless e-mail notification. 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
3029 Martin just gave me 95 reasons why I need to look for another job 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3030 You left a note? 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3031 She left me, Tom - and I still feel the after-effects. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3032 What honey-do list? 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3033 Utilizing two mirrors and a great deal of patience I believe she objects to our maintaining a landline. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3034 Your words hit me really hard.. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3035 It's either my prenup or the Paradise Papers, I'm not sure 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3036 It’s not that I don’t want to, but my wife’s just reminded me that I’m behind on my chores. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3037 You're telling me a paper cut isn't an emergency?! 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3038 Okay. But this to-do list you left is a real pain! 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3039 Tell Martin I found his theses. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3040 Sorry boss but the contract negotiations have stalled 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3041 I think she could have just said, "We're done." 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3042 Et tu, Monica? 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3043 Police? I want to report a daggered dowager. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3044 I've been stabbed, literaturally. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3045 I'd like to make an appointment for a couple's session. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3046 No, mother, we're not getting along. She just sent me another of her pointed comments. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3047 Yes. I followed the instructions. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3048 Sweetie, a service called Blade Runner delivered our divorce papers today. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3049 Collections department, please? 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3050 If the senator wants my vote, you might suggest a different strategy. 1.2712 0.05838 59 43 16 0
3051 So that’s my backstory - how about you? 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3052 Please cancel the free service and sign me up for the friendly reminder service. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3053 If you wanted me to get the message, you should have stuck it in my chest. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3054 My wife is talking about divorce again! I think this time she means it... 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3055 I think it's safe to say that today's negotiations are heading for binding arbitration. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3056 She just served me with the divorce papers. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3057 No, I didn't see the message that you left. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3058 No, thank you. The back issues are painful enough. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3059 Honey, where did you say you left the shopping list again? 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3060 That lawyer came by and dropped off the contract. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3061 I didn't see it coming. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3062 Got you urgent email, thx. I'm on it. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3063 I just heard. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3064 Could I speak to Martin Luther, please? 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3065 Yes, I know you hate reminding me all the time…but I can’t find that shopping list anywhere! 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3066 Wow, that is a firm deadline. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3067 Yes, I received the papers from your lawyer today. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3068 Yes officer, I didn't get a good look at her, but I believe it was my wife who served me the divorce papers. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3069 Hello, Mr. Luther? I think you missed the door. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3070 Yes, I know you’ve got my back but that’s not why I’m calling 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3071 one more time...where did you say you put the grocery list? 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3072 I thought I got shot by Cupid but it was just my divorce giving me back pain again. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3073 She gave me another Honey Do list, but I don't think she's holding her breath. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3074 Typical first day as a supervisor, some guy named Luther filed a complaint when he heard my name was Wittenberg. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3075 Yes mother l have received Maria's divorce settlement demands . 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3076 Hello, Room Service? Someone’s stuck me with a bill that isn’t mine. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3077 Your bill is killing me? 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3078 Yes. I got your message. Point taken. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3079 I believe it was Martin Luther. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3080 A one hundred and fourty character betrayal would have been sufficient. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3081 I’ve got the list of demands. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3082 Honey, those divorce papers really hurt... 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
3083 I'm running a little late. I can't find the divorce papers. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3084 Why yes, I am Lutheran. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3085 Of course I know where to find it. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3086 I have a pretty good idea what it says. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3087 I don't think they liked my manuscript. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3088 Yes, I'd like to file a complaint about the new delivery boy . . . 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3089 Professor Plum speaking. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3090 Sorry, I forgot why I called. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3091 DOES IT SAY ANNIVERSARY ?!! 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3092 If I remembered the last place I put the suicide note, I wouldn't be calling, Carol. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3093 Much better, thanks. I've got a new lease on knife. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3094 I got your 'honey-do' list dear ,but I'm having trouble reading it . 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3095 But I already am Lutheran. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3096 She signed the papers, I'm free. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3097 I think a Lutheran did it 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3098 I think I got the point of your memo. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3099 Thought I would take a stab at Sundays crossword... but its harder than you think. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3100 I think she really means it this time. 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
3101 I'd like to opt out of the class action suit. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3102 OK, OK, I get the point! 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3103 I can't read it, but am sure they left a note Sir! 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3104 Circulation, please. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3105 I must be having a senior momemt....the contract was here a minute ago! 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3106 Well, I didn't see his face but it was definitely the contract killer. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3107 I'm calling to speak to my lawyer regarding my divorce. My wife delivered the latest agreement, but I can't read it. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3108 Of course I didn't realize Medicare Part C stood for "Caesar"! 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3109 I said to use asterisks, not daggers. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3110 Is that new will still binding? 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3111 Look, I know he's the great great grandson of Martin Luther, but this is getting ridiculous. 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
3112 I prefer hate e-mail over mail 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3113 Hi Ester, I got your message. This is Bob. Does that mean we’re not going to dinner? 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3114 I didn't say your article was a betrayal, I said it was a knife in the back. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3115 That backstabbing judge really threw the book at me! 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
3116 I think Lucille finally found a job she thinks I should apply for.... 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3117 The papers were served today. I’m having trouble sitting down to read them. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3118 Yes, Harold. I got your point. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3119 Yes , Sir . I have received the bloody memo . 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3120 Not only did the deal fall through, but he also ruined my favorite shirt. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3121 My wife stuck me with her to-do list. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3122 What are you gonna do, stab me? 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3123 She's also getting my lawyer in the divorce. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3124 Speak to a representative. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3125 Yes, I did receive the papers that your lawyer sent. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3126 I didn't mean ANY idiot can understand an IKEA manual. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3127 Yes, I got your note, but I haven't been able to read it yet. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3128 Her demands are quite long and painful. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3129 If you’re trying to drive a point, I got it! 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
3130 My boyfriend Brutus violated the restraining order. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
3131 Tell 3M that's NOT what I meant by a sticky note. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3132 About the final offer? I’m having trouble reading the fine print. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
3133 She took the mirrors too, Ma. 1.2698 0.07229 63 50 9 4
3134 To whom do I complain about your method of process serving? 1.2698 0.06482 63 48 13 2
3135 When she left me she said she posted a list of her grievances but I can’t seem to find it. 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3136 I know I stuck it somewhere. Let me get back to you. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3137 Hello, 9-11? I would like to report that my wife and I had a heated disagreement on Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation. 1.2667 0.07835 60 49 6 5
3138 It appears to be a suicide note. 1.2667 0.05757 60 44 16 0
3139 I believe you've encouraged my son to do things the 'Lutheran way. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3140 Sure, you hate phone calls, but I don’t like text! 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3141 I got the divorce papers 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3142 Oh, yes, I definitely got your message but I can't read it at the moment. 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3143 I’d like to report a stabbing in the back. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3144 Office Depot? What range of bulletin boards do you have in stock? 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3145 I think my mother in law is trying to tell me something. 1.2667 0.05757 60 44 16 0
3146 That gives new meaning to: 'I got your back.' 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3147 Can't wait until my voice mail is turned back on. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3148 I get your point that the affidavit required nail-and-mail delivery, but I'm having a problem with the attachment. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3149 I can’t find it anywhere. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3150 No, Margaret, I HAVEN'T been able to read it yet. 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3151 I'd like to pay my overdue bill to the Knife of the Month Club. In full. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3152 Your urgent memo got me before I got it. Next time try texting. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3153 I think the bloom is off the rose... 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3154 Tell Mr. Luther I got his message. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3155 Yes darling, I do need to confess; the evidence is overwhelming. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3156 Valachi? You thought I said 'over knife' delivery? 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3157 Can't make it. Stuck with a honeydew list. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3158 Tell Martin Luther I got the message. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3159 After our last session, I’d like to add one to the list about “un-constructive attitude towards sharing grievances.” I’m gonna need your help with that. 1.2667 0.05757 60 44 16 0
3160 It turns out that the prenup wasn't nearly as protective as expected. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3161 I thought we agreed to disagree. 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3162 I can’t read backwards, though. 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3163 Yes Mr. President, I believe the tax reform vote is going well. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3164 Got your message. Can we talk? 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3165 Should I assume you're cancelling our date for Saturday? 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3166 I was served divorce papers today. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3167 I agreed to let you take a stab at this, but com’on man?!! 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3168 I was standing in front of the church door in Wittenberg... 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3169 If you played Hamlet with this level of commitment and emotion you would've loved my review. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3170 I am calling about my eviction notice from Trump Tower...... 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3171 I can't possibly get all these things done before you get home! 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3172 I think she's leaving me; she left a note 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3173 I'd like to cancel my extended warranty. 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3174 I think my wife wants a divorce. 1.2667 0.05757 60 44 16 0
3175 In New York, we stab you in the front. 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3176 I swear, I'll sign the papers today. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3177 Hon, I just got a message that our health coverage has been canceled. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3178 You're being über-picky, mother. What difference does it make if she's Lutheran?" 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3179 Yes, I just got the memo. 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3180 911. We're out of post-its. 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3181 The pre-nup sort of spoiled the moment. 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3182 Sorry, hon, I just can't for the life of me find where you put the "to do" list! 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3183 Perhaps removing her from my will was not a great idea. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3184 Gotta go Stan; Marge just gave me a to do list. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3185 The lawyer left his bill in my apartment, but I can't see it anywhere! 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3186 Now’s not a good time.... 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3187 YES, NOW I GET THE POINT OF YOUR MESSAGE! 1.2667 0.08188 60 50 4 6
3188 I'd like to register a complaint about your take-out menu delivery person. 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3189 Divorce doesn't need to be overly adversarial. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3190 No, I didn't see the writing on the wall. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3191 My literary agent? A real backstabber... 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3192 YES, I’m calling from a landline. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3193 No, actually, this a case where the messenger tried to kill me. 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3194 My lawyer says the alimony part is clear, but he still needs your signature. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3195 I think it's a letter from my wife's lawyer. 1.2667 0.05757 60 44 16 0
3196 I think this is their best-and-final. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
3197 I was just served divorce papers and I'll need a good lawyer. 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
3198 ..ok I'll take a stab at it, I think I have been served divorce papers 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
3199 I'd like to make an appointment to see my chiropractor. My back is killing me! 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3200 On the one hand I'm glad the divorce is final, but she really stuck it to me. 1.2647 0.06827 68 54 10 4
3201 I thought you said you had my back. Where were you then? 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3202 You tell me once you read it, but I'm going to go ahead and guess they want me off the board 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3203 You were right honey. Steve IS a backstabber! 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3204 No, I can’t tell. It’s either the Ninety-five Theses of Martin Luther or I was just served divorce papers. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3205 You were right. They are still going behind my back 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3206 Hello, Vatican? I have mistakenly received a letter addressed to the Pope. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3207 I haven't got the faintest idea about what's going on behind my back! 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3208 Tu quoque, IRS! 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3209 Yes, Sonja. I did receive your divorce request. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3210 Gary, I received your list of demands, but I will not be moving my fence one inch. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3211 Mrs. Luther. Martin mistook me for the door again! 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3212 I realize that this was my final notice." " Don't you think it a bit much? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3213 Honey, do you know where you put your 'To do' list? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3214 Yes, I’ve been served. You could have told me yourself. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3215 I think I've just been served, but these things are hard to read. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3216 I got your post-it note. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3217 All she said is, “You’ve been served.” 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3218 A vase with flowers. Why? 1.2632 0.08121 57 47 5 5
3219 Hello, Oswald? I need some legal advice....I think Gladys just filed for a divorce. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3220 Dr. Schwartz? My wife didn't care for that letter of explanation you suggested I write. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3221 I swear it's not fake news. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3222 I have this stabby feeling there’s a “To Do” list just for me around here somewhere... 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3223 Hello Morty? Vera just delivered the papers and I think it's safe to say this won't be an amicable divorce. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3224 At least she has my back. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3225 If you had served me divorce papers, I think I would know. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3226 I am really getting tired of you people delivering my mail to the wrong address. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3227 Well, working from home doesn't make you immune from backstabbing... 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3228 Honey, I'm sorry but I seem to have misplaced the to-do list you left for me today. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3229 Yes, I did get your bill 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3230 Somebody stuck me with a landline and a knife. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3231 ..hello..Police? This is Martin Luther. I'd like to report a case of extreme irony. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3232 I should have never trusted the terms and conditions. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3233 Where exactly did you leave the note? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3234 You are mistaken, I ordered the 95 pieces. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3235 Where did you leave the instructions? 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3236 Not to worry! The senator assures me he has your back. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3237 I'm a victim of fake news. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3238 A vendetta? What's a vendetta? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3239 I know that you are upset with me dear, but that was a cruel text message. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3240 I just figured she'd leave a note, if she was going to stab me in the back. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3241 She says it’s her 95 theses protesting my “attitude.” 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3242 The House's interpretation of tax reform is killing middle-class folks like me. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3243 I think my wife is trying to tell me something. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3244 I need to speak to the Pope concerning 95 complaints. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3245 I've been the victim of a targeted ad campaign. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3246 I liked it better when you just left voice mails. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3247 She's not interested in a prenup. 1.2632 0.08121 57 47 5 5
3248 I'll get back to you; I have a stabbing pain in my back. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3249 So I have to keep the landline because it’s part of the boilerplate? 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3250 Yes, I just received your decree. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3251 Yeah, I"m pretty sure it was a process server. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3252 Since you put it that way, yes, I will keep the landline. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3253 The backstabbers are at it again and somehow I feel they are writing about me! 1.2632 0.05884 57 42 15 0
3254 I couldn't read the fine print, but I don't think it said 'Have a nice day.' 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3255 No, it's an actual backstabbing text. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3256 I’d like to report a thesis nailing. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3257 I hope it's a Dear John letter. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3258 He said his name was Luther 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3259 it’s the first time I have been confused for.a Church door 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3260 Hello, this is Room 462. I need a drink. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3261 It's not from my wife; that would have been one sentence, written badly. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3262 I don’t how she expects me to respond to her demands when they are presented this way. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3263 They explained the fine print as I was leaving. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3264 When did Pin the Amendment on the Lawyer become a game? 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3265 As you well know, I can't read what it says. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3266 No 'King', just Martin Luther 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3267 The tax bill is a real back-stabber for everyday people like us. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3268 It's a Martin Luther like pain in my upper back. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3269 My wife said she put the grocery list where I couldn’t lose it. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3270 Thank goodness I was sitting! 1.2632 0.08121 57 47 5 5
3271 The good news is he stopped tweeting. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3272 And last, she's taking the dog. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3273 Damn it, Finster, I specifically requested you send it by email! 1.2632 0.08121 57 47 5 5
3274 Hello. I didn't think she was serious about the divorce thing. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3275 Your mother just posted her own 95 Theses. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3276 He told me, I've got your back. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3277 I put the election news behind me. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3278 Yes, I got the message but I haven't been able to get to it. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3279 Yes, I would like you to read it; I'm stuck on one point. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3280 Hang on a sec. I think Elaine just responded to my pre-nup. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3281 I won't be golfing today; I am stuck at home with a huge honey-do list. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3282 where's that letter I must sign and mail? 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3283 Yeah, Carol served me with divorce papers, I always knew she would stab me in the back. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3284 Someone's sent me a message—but I can't read it. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3285 No, I haven't seen the summons yet. 1.2632 0.05884 57 42 15 0
3286 Received your note. The answer is yes. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3287 next time would you please consider a paperless e-delivery.... 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3288 Please hold. Your call is important to us, too, and our agent will be with you in the order it was received. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3289 It was good of your father to drop off the pre-nup. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3290 I got your point. I just can't read the fine print. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3291 No anchovies. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3292 Et tu, Sweetheart? 1.2632 0.08121 57 47 5 5
3293 She didn’t even leave a note...I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the back 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3294 She just gave me her edits ... yeah, they seem pretty firm. The sooner you can review them the better I will feel. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3295 From now on if you want to leave me a note, just leave it on the kitchen table..... 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3296 Yes, I received your message. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3297 Dont be silly. It’s just an expression. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3298 Let me get back to you on that. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3299 Yeah, still stressed as hell... Can't get that lousy subpoena off my back. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3300 Hello, Lenny? My fiance' finally agreed to sign the pre-nup, somewhat reluctantly. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3301 I do believe knives are included in the second amendment. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3302 I don't know why, something about not having a pen. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3303 They decided to pass on the manuscript. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3304 No dear I haven't found your list of grievances. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3305 She said if I lose the list one more time, she would find another way to remind me. Can't find it, but my back is killing me! 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3306 Yes sir, my neighbor stole the newspaper again this morning, but this time he returned it. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3307 I'm just calling to let you know that your back order has arrived. 1.2632 0.05884 57 42 15 0
3308 I think she gave me an ultimatum. No I haven't look at it! 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3309 My ex wife stopped by, but I don't see the legal paperwork she was suppose to drop off. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3310 Can you convert me to paperless delivery? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3311 Well, you always said men can’t find anything, but where’d you put the divorce docs? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3312 He’s coming over to apologize, but I recommend you don’t indulge him. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3313 Guess how she responded to my taping 'Kick me' on her back. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3314 Yes, I would say the divorce was messy. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3315 You might want to re-think your delivery service. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3316 i need a doctor! and a lawyer 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3317 That's not funny 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3318 Yes, I was served the divorce papers. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3319 Et tu, Janet? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3320 My wife thinks I might be happier with e-mail billing. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3321 I'm calling about the eviction notice. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3322 Tee off without me. Something's come up. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3323 To do list - call Brutus back 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3324 No problem, my wife reminded me to take a message. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3325 I got served. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3326 Yes, I'd like to know the protocol for delivering final notice of overdue payments. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3327 I never received a notice. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3328 Hello 911, my back has apparently been mistaken for a church door. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3329 Feels like I've been served. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3330 I'll get back to you soon. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3331 She's not here. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3332 My wife would like to dispute the Victoria's Secret charge on my account. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3333 Yeah, Mom, I remember. You warned me not to marry a Lutheran. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3334 Well, thanks for getting back to me! 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3335 I'll have to call you back. Some smart-ass just served me my wife's divorce paperwork. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3336 Yes operator, ...I would like to report a problem with your billing department. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3337 All I said to her was do you have a list of what constitutes sexual assault. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3338 It just arrived by hand. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3339 Got to run. Madge gave me a ‘to do’ list. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3340 Luther, when I told you to post your thesis, I meant online. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3341 Process servers are getting really aggressive nowadays. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3342 I'll get back to you. I just got the memo. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3343 Is this the Lutheran Church? 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3344 Martin Luther was just here. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3345 Acme Process Servers? Complaint Department, please. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3346 She said she had some demands before she got back with me. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3347 ...searched high and low. And my back is killing me! 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3348 I don’t care if it IS Martin Luther’s birthday—that’s no way to leave me a shopping list! 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3349 Martin, how many times have I asked you to get glasses? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3350 Hello Mr. Luther, we need to talk about Martin! 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3351 I'm sorry, but I can't sign this. 1.2632 0.05884 57 42 15 0
3352 I just got the petition on banning knives at school 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3353 Yes, a Bowie knife, in my back...I'm not sure, I think it's B-O-W-I-E... 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3354 Honey, remember when you told me you were going to put that To-Do list somewhere I couldn't lose it again? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3355 No, I'm pretty sure it wasn't Scaramucci. 1.2632 0.05884 57 42 15 0
3356 Yes, my name is Pope, the other man's name is Luther. He seemed angry about something. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3357 Martin somebody. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3358 Uh, yes, I'd like to discuss going paperless. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3359 I'd like to update my will. The Grim Reaper just gave me an eviction notice. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3360 I just wanted to be clear as to whether this is a "final," Final Notice. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3361 I think they liked my mystery manuscript. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3362 Archibald's policy was to be nice to all the telemarketers who call, even during dinner, since they are only doing their job... 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3363 I think we received the final notice for our subscription renewal. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3364 Marge has gotten serious about the 'honey-do' list. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3365 I guess the process server was Protestant. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3366 Any messages? 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3367 Yes, yes I did get your honey-do list. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3368 For some reason I get the feeling that I have a target on my back. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3369 Well, my divorce is final but we might have to postpone the party. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3370 Home Depot? I'm going to need help with my wife's to-do list. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3371 My lawyer says you really stabbed me in the back with this divorce 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3372 I'd like to back out of the deal. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3373 It was more than a poison pen letter! 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3374 Being sued by your best friend? Yeah, it's like...well...I can't describe what it feels like exactly. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
3375 The fine print really will kill you. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3376 Don't worry, it's just a metaphor. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3377 I never should've messed with the Lutherans 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3378 She said she’d stick me with divorce papers, but I haven’t seen them yet. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
3379 I need to come over and read something for me. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3380 Listen, it’s more than just being read the riot act. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3381 Yes, I'd like to opt-out of paper statements, please. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3382 I think my complaint letter was well received. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
3383 You're right Mother, her understanding of 'taking the plunge' differs from mine. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
3384 My boss found a new way to get under my skin 1.2623 0.06974 61 48 10 3
3385 How is my day going? Not too bad, I just got a new cell phone plan. How are you? 1.2623 0.07356 61 49 8 4
3386 Honey, Where'd you put that grocery list? 1.2623 0.07356 61 49 8 4
3387 Luther's back. 1.2623 0.07356 61 49 8 4
3388 Yes...I got the divorce papers...which I have pointedly decided not to sign. 1.2623 0.06974 61 48 10 3
3389 What? No, I can't read French 1.2623 0.06974 61 48 10 3
3390 The point is obvious. 1.2623 0.06141 61 46 14 1
3391 Yes, I'd like to report a letter that was delivered to the wrong address. 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
3392 Yes, doctor, he went to the Halloween party as Martin Luther....... 1.2623 0.07356 61 49 8 4
3393 Lye down and wait.That's your best advice? 1.2623 0.06974 61 48 10 3
3394 No it was the other Martin Luther. The one who was less nonviolent. 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
3395 All because I wouldn’t sign the petition for stronger gun control. 1.2615 0.06678 65 51 11 3
3396 Just for that, now you're not getting the house in Amagansett. 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3397 I have a feeling that her divorce terms are payback, but I really can't see the point. 1.2586 0.06300 58 44 13 1
3398 Yes, I got your point, Dear. And thanks for printing in reverse. 1.2586 0.06300 58 44 13 1
3399 Dear, please remind me. Where did you put your "honey do" list? 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3400 No, sorry, Marty Luther just left. 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3401 watch your own back! 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
3402 I know. I got your note. 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
3403 I don't know if there are ninety-five; I can't see them. 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3404 Apparently she is serious about my signing the divorce papers 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
3405 Where's the list? 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
3406 She just tacked up her manifesto. 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3407 ‘She was yelling something about Martin Luther when she left.” 1.2586 0.07605 58 47 7 4
3408 Hi honey. I can't find the to do list. 1.2586 0.07605 58 47 7 4
3409 No, she DOES hate me. The note she left says so. 1.2586 0.06300 58 44 13 1
3410 Did you let the subscription to witnessprotection.com run out . . . ? 1.2586 0.06300 58 44 13 1
3411 I'm think she's serious about the divorce 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3412 Marketing department, please. 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3413 I won't be into today. I have something wrong with my back. 1.2586 0.06300 58 44 13 1
3414 I can’t shake the feeling I’ve been stabbed in the back. 1.2586 0.07993 58 48 5 5
3415 The government just won't get off my back! 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
3416 Louisa served me with the Divorce Papers 1.2586 0.07605 58 47 7 4
3417 I get the point. You need a back story along with the manuscript. 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
3418 I think we have to rewrite the prenuptial agreement. 1.2586 0.07605 58 47 7 4
3419 I found your shopping list. 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
3420 One thesis would have been sufficient. 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
3421 I'm not sure, but I think my wife wants a divorce. 1.2586 0.07605 58 47 7 4
3422 No honey, it's not a metaphor... 1.2586 0.07605 58 47 7 4
3423 She said something about my being thick as a church door. 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
3424 I couldn't see him, but he might be Lutheran. 1.2586 0.07605 58 47 7 4
3425 I'm sorry, she's not here right now. Can't say when she'll be back. 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3426 It doesn't just say "Kick me". It's legally binding. 1.2586 0.07605 58 47 7 4
3427 I'm sorry, Mom, I have to hang up now. Dora seems angry about something, and I should probably find out what it is. 1.2586 0.07605 58 47 7 4
3428 Honey, I can’t seem to find where you pinned the grocery list anywhere. 1.2586 0.07993 58 48 5 5
3429 I don't know what he was so pissed at. He was ranting about indulgences, papal authority, something about church doors and how Apple Maps had screwed him again. 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3430 As my lawyer you said she might reject the divorce papers but she went way too far! 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
3431 Yes, that's right. A new message from Martin Luther. 1.2581 0.06874 62 49 10 3
3432 Divorce papers, can you believe it? I wish there was a phrase for what she's done to me. 1.2581 0.06874 62 49 10 3
3433 That angry writer whose book I edited sent me a long letter about the difference between literal and figurative language. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3434 Martin Luther came by -- left you a message. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3435 Yes, please cancel the private investigator. I've already been served. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3436 well it's signed... but we need to talk about beneficiaries again 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3437 Maybe I'm dense, but I still don't get your point. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3438 Yes, I'd like to speak to someone about a single point of contact. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3439 Hello Jerry? I've been served. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3440 Gladys, I think I just got the divorce papers. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3441 I would like to make a change to my last will and testament 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3442 It's killing me that I can't find it. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3443 Yes, I showed her the divorce settlement offer and I think she wants to talk. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3444 Yes, I have already received your advice 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3445 Yes, I'm sure everyone knows my back story. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3446 Hi, I'd like to murder a report. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3447 May I speak to the Pope? 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3448 Specialty Process Servers, about that divorce summons you just served. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3449 I got the divorce papers 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3450 Sigh... yeah... she left a note. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3451 Not tonight, I have this stabbing pain in my back. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3452 She is reliable to a fault. Whenever she leaves she leave a note. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3453 Hello....Mr. Luther 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3454 Hi, I am calling to complain about my Caesar salad delivery. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3455 Well, she did explain herself. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3456 I want to report a “Post No Bills” violation! 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3457 I'd love to, but my wife has a couple of things around the house she'd like me to take care of. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3458 Oh, yeah, believe me. These rules will stick. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3459 No officer, they didn’t leave a ransom note. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3460 Then she screamed, I CAN NOT LIVE ANOTHER MINUTE WITH YOUR PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DULLNESS!, then the phone rang and as I was walking over to pick it up she pinned the divorce papers to my spine with a steak knife... and how 'bout you, how're you doing? 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3461 Hello, Daily Gazette? May I speak to someone in customer relations? 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3462 I don't think she wants to sign the prenup. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3463 No Doris, she did not sign the divorce papers - I was lucky to get out alive! 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3464 Honey, I didn't mean this when I asked you to give me a to do list. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3465 Hi Mom. I think Betty just sent me the divorce papers. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3466 Yes, I will hold 1.2545 0.08295 55 46 4 5
3467 Billy is going through a Martin Luther phase. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3468 I believe he said his name was Martin Luther. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3469 Yes dear, I still have the shopping list you 'gave' me. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3470 Sheryl, put my MAGA hat on eBay, will you? 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3471 Is that your final offer? 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3472 Honey, I can't find the grocery list. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3473 I think my writing career is looking up - this time they didn't just hand the manuscript back to me. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3474 So if I can't see the summons, I can skip the court appearance? 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3475 I think my wife wants a divorce. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3476 The brochure promised a memorable time in Germany. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3477 Next time, please post my foreclosure notice in a place where I can read it. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3478 "It's more serious than 'Kick Me!' 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3479 No, I still do not wish to sign up for e-billing. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3480 My lawsuit was dismissed with prejudice. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3481 Yeah, I think I got her wish list ... 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3482 Our marriage is undergoing a reformation. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3483 "I need to start reading my contracts more carefully. Some of the terms are real killers". 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3484 I knew that student debt would stab in the back someday. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3485 I need to see a doctor for a work related injury. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3486 She read Martin Luther a lot. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3487 I'm hurting real bad--my wife just served divorce papers on me. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3488 What we have is a failure to communicate appropriately. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3489 She just stepped out 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3490 Call me old-fashioned but I liked it better when they just handed you the summons. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3491 I'd like to report a citing....I swear it was Martin Luther. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3492 I just wanted you to know that your lawyer delivered your reply to my alimony request. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3493 All I did was defend the Catholic church 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3494 Mr. Bannon? I got your note. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3495 Dr. Lewis, It's Fred. I hate to leave a message like this on your answering machine...but please call me back ASAP. I have a sudden sharp pain right between my shoulder blades. Thanks 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3496 I am aware that lawyers hear 'stabbed me in the back' all the time, but this time you'll have written proof of motivation *and* physical evidence. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3497 Indulge me. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3498 Fine! I admit it....converting to Catholicism was a bad idea. 1.2545 0.08295 55 46 4 5
3499 Thanks! But I didn't need my resume back. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3500 Martin Luther? He just left. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3501 ...furthermore, I can prove that it wasn't me who wrote the suicide note... 1.2545 0.05928 55 41 14 0
3502 Yes, my wife threw it, and it's the Help Wanted section. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3503 Yes, my wife left me the divorce papers a short time ago. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3504 They've backed up their demands. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3505 The pain is up to, like, 11. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3506 I take it your new to back channel communications. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3507 Hi honey. Yes, I got your note. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3508 I would like to stop delivery of your publication. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3509 Same to you, fella. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3510 His name was Luther, and his memo has ninety-five theses. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3511 I think someone's trying to send me a message. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3512 I don't know what it says but I know it's there. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3513 At least, she remembered I don't like multiple exclamation points. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3514 OK, I got your point. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3515 I received your divorce papers. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3516 I hate to admit it, but hiring Buffy the Process Server was actually a nice touch. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3517 I have no idea, Officer...all I told her was that she knew where she could stick her "To Do" list 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3518 I can't keep ignoring her cries for attention. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3519 She called it, "pin the divorce on the donkey" 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3520 And how do you expect me to read your Honey-do list? 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3521 I feel the airline might be changing its frequent flier policy. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3522 But I never subscribed to the Daily Blade! 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3523 I can't talk now, I'm in the middle of a divorce. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3524 Hello is this the IRS I have I noticed from you about back taxes 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3525 You're leaving me? Well why didn't you leave a note? 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3526 The divorce is off to a good start. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3527 The goodbye letter you left me seems a little harsh. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3528 No, it's not break-in. If you must know, it's the Housewife's Manifesto. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3529 I got your message to call. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3530 What do you mean 'they killed the story'? 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3531 Please inform our readers to submit negative comments in writing. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3532 Happy Martin Luther anniversary to you too 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3533 The DNC has some paperwork for Senator Sanders. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3534 Just a hunch, but you could try reaching her at her mother's. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3535 Yes, I've read the new tax bill. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3536 I understand...but all I said was you better make sure I get a copy of the agreement! 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3537 She seemed surprised that I asked her to take a stab at drafting the pre-nuptials. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3538 I've decided against contesting the divorce. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3539 I'd like to withdraw my candidacy. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3540 Yes, I received your text 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3541 "I'm calling about your 'money back' guarantee. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3542 Ironically my ex-wife was the one doing the screaming. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3543 I've been served. By a man in a cloak. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3544 How long do I have to ignore the subpoena? 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3545 On a scale of 1 to 10? 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3546 I’d like to report an attempted divorce filing. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3547 First, she shoves it in my face and says her lawyer drew it up. Then, she tells me I'm numb in every conceivable way! Now, she's gone and I can't find the damned thing!!! 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3548 I bet you won't say that to my face! 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3549 What's an indulgence? 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3550 I wish you hadn’t done it that way. I keep a paperless office. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3551 No, I haven't seen it. What did you say you pinned it to? 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3552 Hello 911? I think I've been 'Martin Luthered' by my wife. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3553 And I want you to tie the response to a brick and throw it through her window. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3554 Ambulance to Joe Wittenberg, 95 All Saints' Lane. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3555 I thought the suggestions were supposed to be anonymous. 1.2545 0.05928 55 41 14 0
3556 Honey, did you move the plant on the neighbor’s balcony? 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3557 But I thought that 14 year old girl wanted me to write a love note in her yearbook. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3558 Hello 911....I'm having a big problem with the Republican health care plans. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3559 Luther household. No, Martin's not at home. Something about us being indulgent or something 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3560 His twitter account is down. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3561 Your note was insensitive and your grammar atrocious . 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3562 Can't talk now, Mom, Darlene just gave me a shopping list. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3563 I'm pretty sure the divorce is final now. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3564 Yeah, so... she brought over the papers this morning.. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3565 Apparently there are some things I need to do before I play golf. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3566 Not right now, thank you, I have a few things on my list that I have to do first. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3567 Tonight's no good, the wife's really getting adamant about my to-do list. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3568 Would you please re-send that via email? 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3569 I wish he would go back to tweeting. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3570 Can you remind me? 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3571 You could have called too. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3572 Honey, you could have used a thumbtack. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3573 I wish it just read "Kick me!" 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3574 I'm calling about that "Final Notice" you sent me. 1.2545 0.05928 55 41 14 0
3575 I thought we had agreed for the kids' sakes we would not let this get ugly. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3576 911? Emergency! I have been stabbed in the back. . . . My wife! . . . Divorce papers! 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3577 Hello . It's about the back issue of The New Yorker I ordered . 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3578 No, ma'm, I can't actually read you the list of demands right now, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the gardening dispute I've been having with my neighbor. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3579 I called you so you can tell me how you really feel about us. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3580 He says he’s a sharp negotiator, but I’m still waiting for him to get back with a detailed offer. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3581 That divorce petition my wife filed is behind me now. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3582 Put a fork in it. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3583 I want to report a missing dossier 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3584 It could be worse. She might have passed that pistol background check. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
3585 She seems to have disappeared but she did leave a note.... 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
3586 Basically it says 'kick me,' in legal jargon. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
3587 Yes, I know where you put the papers from your lawyer, but I don't know what they say. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
3588 I think I’ve finally mastered the office politics. 1.2545 0.05928 55 41 14 0
3589 You surprised me, I was served the divorce papers today. 1.2542 0.07868 59 49 5 5
3590 I must say, he did get my attention. 1.2542 0.06662 59 46 11 2
3591 She said no more indulgences. 1.2542 0.07488 59 48 7 4
3592 Jane, you really stuck it to me this time, didn't you? 1.2542 0.06662 59 46 11 2
3593 Nothing's left in your closet. You could have at least written a 'Dear John' letter. 1.2542 0.06662 59 46 11 2
3594 I take it that’s your final offer..? 1.2542 0.06662 59 46 11 2
3595 Et tu, Schrute? 1.2542 0.06208 59 45 13 1
3596 Janice, the cable company just delivered a late payment notice. 1.2542 0.06208 59 45 13 1
3597 Sweetheart, I can’t find the Honey Do List. 1.2542 0.06208 59 45 13 1
3598 Hello 911 ? My wife has upped the ante on her Honey-Do list. 1.2542 0.07087 59 47 9 3
3599 I thought you said the divorce papers would be mailed. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3600 Did you leave your note where I'll see it? 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
3601 My wife did a Martin Luther thing 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3602 Yes, it's safe to say that I do understand the importance of completing my list before your sister arrives 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
3603 I can't find those divorce papers that I sent to my wife. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3604 Hello 911 - There's a Picture Hanging On My Wall And I Did Not Put It There. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3605 NO I can’t read paragraph 2a back to you 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3606 (What's your emergency?) "I can't find the To-Do-List my wife wrote." 1.2500 0.06563 60 47 11 2
3607 Yeah Ralph, Don't ever set me up with a girl again, ok? This one was a back stabber,.. literally! 1.2500 0.07750 56 46 6 4
3608 Hi, customer support? I’m a having a bit of an issue putting my IKEA shelf together. I think the instructions are a bit off 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3609 I'd love to join you, but I'm planning to surprise the wife and get going on some honey-do projects 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
3610 No, I won't forget the Parmigiano-Reggiano this time. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
3611 Can't talk now..... I have a 'Honey Do' list that is imperative! 1.2500 0.07750 56 46 6 4
3612 I believe it's an actuarial notice but it's hard to see. 1.2500 0.05839 56 42 14 0
3613 I know I'll appreciate your latest communication if I live to read it! 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3614 The news is killing me these days. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3615 Mom said she won't sign the will. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
3616 Yes, Mr. Luther. The name IS Worms but I think you've got the wrong idea. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
3617 The divorce papers have come through. 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3618 Martin Luther, you get home this instant! 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3619 Doctor, my wife is protesting again. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3620 No. I did not see the note you left for me. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3621 Yes, I know you want a divorce but I'm not sure if the best choice for your attorney was Martin Luther. 1.2500 0.07750 56 46 6 4
3622 Well Mr. Trump, I know it’s not Scaramucci. He’s a front stabber. 1.2500 0.07750 56 46 6 4
3623 Well, yes. He was quite adamant about it. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
3624 Cancel the tee-time...I feel a piercing need to work on her to-do list. 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3625 I think she's leaving me. 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3626 I didn't read the whole thing, but I get the point. 1.2500 0.05839 56 42 14 0
3627 He said his name was Luther.....Martin Luther, I believe. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
3628 Hi Honey, where did you say you left the grocery list? 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
3629 Honey, have you seen the letter from my ex? 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3630 It feels kind of protestant with a burning heretic kind of sensation. 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3631 In the future please use your Twitter account! 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3632 No, officer, it only feels like ninety-four theses. 1.2500 0.07374 60 49 7 4
3633 Well, it’s a just a standard prenup ... 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3634 I was just standing in front of the cathedral door and this guy came up behind me... 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3635 I'd like to report a to-do list. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3636 i know i know. i should have never roomed with martin luther 1.2500 0.07750 56 46 6 4
3637 Margaret, I hope after the divorce is final, we can still be friends. 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3638 Hi Mom, Shelia is divorcing me. No, it won't be friendly but I can't really see her point of view. 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3639 I'd like to report a missing suicide note. 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3640 Thanks for taking a stab at the grocery list. 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3641 Let me call you back. Doris just served the divorce papers. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3642 I'm pretty sure it was Martin Luther. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
3643 My wife reminded me of a few more things to consider before the agreement can be signed in blood. 1.2500 0.07750 56 46 6 4
3644 Your terms and conditions are unacceptable 1.2500 0.06371 56 43 12 1
3645 I'll sign, dear. Just remind me where you left the papers. 1.2500 0.06563 60 47 11 2
3646 I'd like to. Report a badly botched suicide. 1.2459 0.06877 61 49 9 3
3647 I didn't know it was a hostile merger offer 1.2456 0.06273 57 44 12 1
3648 Cable company, I think your contract is literally killing me. 1.2456 0.06754 57 45 10 2
3649 Thanks for the reminder. 1.2456 0.06273 57 44 12 1
3650 These new, “Made in the Philippines” tags are getting to be a bit much I think. 1.2456 0.07626 57 47 6 4
3651 I should have never named my son Luther! 1.2456 0.06754 57 45 10 2
3652 She's been saying "it's over" for years. I think she means it this time. 1.2456 0.06273 57 44 12 1
3653 I suppose it's better than having them hang over your head 1.2456 0.06273 57 44 12 1
3654 Yeah. Hi. I have a quick questions about the recent credit card bill I received from you which covered my last business trip. Actually ... its more my Wife that has the questions. Can I Hold? ... Well ... I do need to make another call fairly soon. 1.2456 0.07626 57 47 6 4
3655 I just got the letter from your attorney. He made of point of delivering it himself. 1.2456 0.07203 57 46 8 3
3656 Well, to take a stab in the dark, I guess she used a knife. 1.2456 0.06754 57 45 10 2
3657 My wife claims it's because she ran out of refrigerator magnets. 1.2456 0.07203 57 46 8 3
3658 Honey, have you seen our prenup? 1.2456 0.07203 57 46 8 3
3659 Do you even know what 'getting served' means? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3660 And one other thing—today is Martin Luther KING day. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3661 I would have preferred your breakup letter been sent by email. Now it pains me to read it. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3662 She signed the divorce papers. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3663 Oh the boys are fine, but I think Janet and I are headed toward a schism. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3664 Wait, I thought this was an amicable divorce. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3665 Yes, Scaramucci just gave me the memo. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3666 I just learned the IRS is working with Amazon. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
3667 I’m stuck with a problem here. Can you come over and read this note I received? 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3668 Honey, I wish you hadn't left the "to do" list in such a hostile manner. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3669 Honey, the children have a list of reforms. I fear they are on the verge of starting a new family without us. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3670 I get the impression she won’t sign the nondisclosure agreement. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3671 How could I have seen this coming? 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3672 Martin? Joe here - Joe Wittenberg 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3673 I thought her attorney was only going to be a pain in the ass! 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3674 ...my emergency is that when I said it would hurt less to have a knife in my back she didn’t understand the irony 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3675 What ever happened to no-fault divorce? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3676 Yeah, I guess we can take another stab at it. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3677 Hi, Martin. I get your points. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3678 On the bright side, she only had 93 theses. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3679 As best I can tell, it's from the Homeowners' Association. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3680 Office politics has gotten really nasty. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3681 Yes operator,I’m aware it’s uncommon to request an ambulance for a paper cut.. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3682 at first I thought it was a pat on the back 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3683 I think someone's trying to tell me something. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3684 Yes sweetheart I did receive your Dearr John letter… 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3685 Hello, I'm calling to cancel my subscription. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3686 Explain that again. I'm not sure I got your point. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3687 Sure, kick me is KINDA funny... 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3688 You missed the entire point. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3689 I don't think counseling will help. She was pretty adamant about me signing the divorce papers. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3690 I haven't read it yet, but I think she agreed to the divorce. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3691 I can't find the advice my wife and I got from the last marriage counseling session. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3692 I have a complaint about my postman. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3693 I sense you are unhappy. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
3694 No, but she may have left a note. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3695 All this paperwork is killing me. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3696 I think it has something to do with Luther's Ninety-five theses. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3697 Yes, I'd like to request a song by the Ojay's.... 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3698 It's like the modern day version of that Martin Luther thing, but it's about all of her grievances. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3699 Yes, but there was no reason for you to have the divorce papers delivered so pointedly. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3700 Hello, is this Pope Francis? I have a list of issues that I'd like to discuss with you. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3701 Honey, where did you place my last will and testament? 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
3702 Your list of complaints seem a bit sharp. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3703 That's the last time I'll believe Paul Ryan. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3704 Yes, Honey. I received your to-do list. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3705 Luther stopped by . . . 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3706 All I did was tell her it was a draft for my will 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3707 You were wrong. The persecution complex wasn't all in my head. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3708 I’m sorry dear - but I’m afraid I’m stuck with it. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3709 Customer. Representative. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3710 Hello, 911? Martin Luther was just in my apartment. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3711 I'd like to cancel my request for the remaining back issues. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3712 Yes, I feel like she is finally ready to divorce. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3713 WHO SAID HINDSIGHT IS 20/20? I CANT SEE A THING! 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3714 I think my wife is fed up with my procrastinating . 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3715 Well, doctor, I believe I started experiencing the pain a few days ago. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3716 Hi, it's John. I got your letter. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3717 My wife has just reminded me that I forgot to buy the garlic butter. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3718 Honey, remind me where you left that list? 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3719 Not to worry - the "TO DO" list is done. I'll see you in ER shortly. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3720 Have you signed the divorce papers yet? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3721 I think he was a Lutheran. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3722 I need to report an aggressive process server. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3723 No, seriously, I can’t get the news off my back! 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3724 Yes Don Corleone - you could say I got the message. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3725 Are you sure you won't give us another chance? 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3726 Marge, can you come over and take a note? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3727 911? My name is Martin Luther. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
3728 Yes, the committee has finished marking up the tax bill. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3729 But I'm sure the plan said 'unlimited usage'. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3730 My wife felt it necessary to remind me that March fifteenth is our anniversary. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3731 911, i think im having a constitutional crisis. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3732 I'd like to report a murder 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3733 I'm not aware of any backstabbing 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3734 Time-Warner? Yes, I have read the fine print. No, no, nothing I didn't expect from you. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3735 What do you mean how do I know the sports section is missing? I just know. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
3736 I need someone to read the notice on my back, it might be urgent 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3737 Where did you say you put the divorce papers? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3738 I received your note. Yes, sir...it was concise and to the point. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3739 I know I promised, but I can't find the 'honey-do list' anywhere. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3740 I am having a problem with some guy named Martin Luther.... 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3741 Sorry, no "poker night" - the wife's pretty serious about her "to do" list. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3742 Just wanted to clarify-- Are those divorce papers, or the "to do" list you posted 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3743 Mitch McConnell calling. The president says he can't find his copy of the Constitution anywhere. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3744 The Reformation Day party was a little wild. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3745 Honey... I think we can rest assured that the kids are on the "naughty list" again this year. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3746 In case your wondering, I was just served with the subpoena. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3747 I'd like to find out who ordered the stab-o-gram. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3748 Yes, I found the divorce papers. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3749 Honey, I've looked everywhere for the grocery list. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3750 How should I feel about tax reform? 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
3751 Who doesn't love a game of 'Pin the Mail on the Donkey'? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3752 All I did was ask her what's wrong. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3753 Martin Luther is a lousy butler. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3754 Your attorney was just here with the first draft of the divorce papers. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3755 Her lawyer's a Lutheran. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3756 Yes, I am aware that my voicemail is full. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3757 The magazine didn't buy my short story, but at least it was a personal rejection this time. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3758 Tell the Senator that I can't vote on the tax plan because I haven't read it yet. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3759 The paper says crime rate is down. That sounds like Fake News to me. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3760 Obviously, I did not read the fine print. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3761 I can't read it right now, I'm waiting for a ride to the emergency room. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3762 I've looked everywhere, but I can't find it. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3763 I really want to put this all behind me. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3764 Sorry dear, but I'm going to be getting home, this paperwork is a killer. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3765 My divinity student just submitted her thesis.... 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3766 My Body just gave me an Eviction Notice. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3767 Maggie, deep-six Friday's team building event. I think the moment for a fun and effective change in our corporate culture has come and gone. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3768 I got your note. Are you sure it's over? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3769 Bob, I know it's very late, but I need to annul my pre-nup. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3770 I'm afraid I'll have to pass. There are a few things my wife wants done around the house. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3771 Hello dear. I received the divorce papers, but I was hoping we can reconcile. 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
3772 I've looked everywhere. Where did you put the grocery list again? 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
3773 Hello? Martin Luther Hospital? 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3774 I can't read the fine print. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3775 Hello? I'd like to report the Eagles. They stabbed me with their steely knife but they just can't kill the list. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3776 All I said was 'Why can't they protest more like Martin Luther?' 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3777 Counselor, seems she declined to sign the separation agreement.... 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3778 Sticky notes were just not working for me. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3779 I made the Trump List! 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3780 Mom, it's over. She didn't exactly like the prenup idea. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3781 No, mom, I still haven't signed the divorce papers. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3782 I'd go shopping for you if I knew where you put the grocery list! 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3783 And this was my favorite shirt. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3784 You couldn't just put them on the front door? 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3785 Hey mom, these bills are killing me. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
3786 No, Counsel, I don't think she's going to accept the divorce terms we demanded. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
3787 But it's not signed. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
3788 Luther? You agreed to hang your 95 Theses on the Cathedral door! This makes me feel like I've been stabbed me in the back. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3789 Your writ of habeas corpus has been received. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
3790 Here I stand, I can do no other. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
3791 That's just like you. How do you expect me to read it? 1.2414 0.06179 58 45 12 1
3792 Where did you leave the 'honey-do' list? 1.2414 0.06650 58 46 10 2
3793 They cut me out of their will. 1.2414 0.06650 58 46 10 2
3794 You guessed it--another drive-by knifing. 1.2407 0.05873 54 41 13 0
3795 The divorce papers were served. 1.2407 0.06440 54 42 11 1
3796 We'very put all those bills behind us. 1.2407 0.06440 54 42 11 1
3797 I haven't had a chance to read it yet, Mr. President, but I've been told it states that giving to the poor is more important than buying indulgences. 1.2407 0.07902 54 45 5 4
3798 Yes. I know. It was an odd way for her to commemorate the 500th anniversary of Luther's 95 theses. 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3799 I said: "Do I look like a German Church? And, by the way, it's 2017 not 1517!!!" 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3800 apparently with some provocation 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3801 I'm sorry to bother you Honey, but tell me again where you left the divorce papers. 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3802 There's something I just need to get off my back right now. 1.2407 0.06440 54 42 11 1
3803 Yes, but if we can't use e-mail, I would prefer face to face. 1.2407 0.05873 54 41 13 0
3804 Helpline..? Can you settle a disagreement about the stuffing recipe?.. 1.2407 0.07447 54 44 7 3
3805 Do you know a guy called Martin Luther? 1.2407 0.06440 54 42 11 1
3806 Yes, I got the memo. I'm trying to understand the message. 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3807 Rev. Luther? Steve Dore here. Just a suggestion, but how about posting your notice on the cathedral door instead? 1.2407 0.07447 54 44 7 3
3808 Yes honey, my wife gave me a note about your accidental butt call that you made during your lunch with the girls. 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3809 A Dear John letter causes enough pain without the added twist. 1.2407 0.07447 54 44 7 3
3810 Now you're just being sarcastic, clearly the pun was intended. 1.2407 0.05873 54 41 13 0
3811 What do you mean we're finished? No, I haven't seen your letter! 1.2407 0.07447 54 44 7 3
3812 I’m not positive but I think it might be my ‘honey do’ list! 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3813 My son, your student, has taken the lesson of Martin Luther too literally. 1.2407 0.06440 54 42 11 1
3814 I don't want to talk about it, can you just pick me up early? 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3815 Ed still has my back but he's added a few conditions. 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3816 The divorce papers just arrived. 1.2407 0.07447 54 44 7 3
3817 I haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not very positive. 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3818 I got a pointed message from my wife about our correspondence. 1.2407 0.05873 54 41 13 0
3819 I'll call you back, mother. The landlord stopped by for the rent. 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
3820 Hello Maureen. Stan here. The divorce papers arrived today. I do have a question about the alimony payment. 1.2407 0.06440 54 42 11 1
3821 Where did you put the shopping list this time! 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
3822 It's me. You told me to call you when my wife signed the divorce papers. 1.2364 0.06848 55 44 9 2
3823 Just wondering -- you want your knife? 1.2364 0.07323 55 45 7 3
3824 No worries sweetheart; it's my wife making another non-negotiable divorce point! 1.2364 0.06337 55 43 11 1
3825 911? I'm calling to complain about a back-stabbing op-ed report in today's paper. 1.2364 0.07323 55 45 7 3
3826 My wife said the sheriff was taking too long to serve me the papers 1.2364 0.06848 55 44 9 2
3827 Yes, I'd like to report a Reformation. 1.2364 0.06337 55 43 11 1
3828 I know this is Reformation Sunday,but she is no Martin Luther 1.2364 0.08191 55 47 3 5
3829 I just got your text. 1.2364 0.06337 55 43 11 1
3830 I can't actually read it, but it's probably another one of Ellen's ultimatums. 1.2364 0.07323 55 45 7 3
3831 We're free to marry, but the ex is sending a few instructions. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3832 Does this policy cover a stabbing-in-the-back? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3833 No, I don’t think Roy Moore did it 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3834 You said people were upfront here. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3835 I took the 2 aspirin but the habeas corpus is still in my corpus. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3836 She says she has 95 reasons but I haven't seen them yet. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3837 Sheila's left me--I have no idea why. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3838 No, I am not interested in the Protestant Reformation. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3839 I realize you already took a stab at a second draft but it still doesn’t feel right. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3840 Yes, I'd like to accuse my attorney of malfeasance and murder... oh and he also ran off with my wife, the kids and my cat.... I loved that cat. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3841 I’m sorry I’m stuck when it comes to the news 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3842 Just tell my attorney that wifey didn't like our divorce offer. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3843 The pain is more intense when I sit in a chair 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3844 Hello corporate, I'm having difficulty reading the fine print of our backstabbing policy.. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3845 I'm calling to complain about the backstabbing manner in which my non-moving violation was presented. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3846 Hey Mitch, after consulting with my wife I think I'm a "no" on the tax reform bill. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3847 Do you carry Post-it Notes? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3848 Human Resources ? I’d like to report some back stabbers. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3849 You know that note you said you left for me when you walked out? I can't find it. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3850 This back pain is yesterday's news. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3851 You were right, she was a backstabber! 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3852 Yes sir... we did get a response to the subpoena. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3853 When she gets in please tell her that I've changed my opinion on breaking up via text. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3854 Phone number for the Martin Luther Museum please? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3855 Yes, I'm pretty sure it's a resignation letter 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3856 I dunno. She kept muttering something about me being too indulgent. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3857 Miss Smith, did that order for the Post-It Notes come in yet? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3858 No, I don't know what it says. My wife thinks I will get the message anyway. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3859 I'm sorry Susan, but until I find that list you left me I simply can't meet with the relationship counsellor. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3860 Yes, I AM aware that our claim was rejected because our policy lapsed when I forgot to pay the premium. My wife informed me of the denial. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3861 Our client wants to re-evaluate the no-backstabbing clause. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3862 The least you could have done is told me about your memo first. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3863 Couldn't you just pick up the phone like everyone else? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3864 Mother, you should give me more credit. I didn't mention contractual obligation once on this call. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3865 Hi, Mr. Phillips? Yes, this is Billy's father. I'm just calling to give you some feedback on your recent Roman history unit. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3866 No Dad! It's on White House letterhead but there's no signature. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3867 My dear, your words cut me to the quick. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3868 As I was leaving, she made some very pointed remarks 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3869 Yes, Brad has posted his thesis. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3870 Did you ever hear of Ninety-five Theses? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3871 These hidden fees are killing me 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
3872 I don't care how many theses you have, Mr. Luther, this is the wrong way to submit your homework. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3873 I'll have to call you back. I just got a text from my wife. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
3874 I'm stuck at the office again. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3875 I just received their final proposal to sign the agreement. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3876 Can you come home, Darcy, and help me find that letter from my mother? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3877 Yes, you told be that they are backstabbers, but you did not tell me about the small print! 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3878 Consider me served. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3879 Yes, are you able to take care of back taxes? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3880 I'm calling to cancel my acupuncture appointment for this week. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3881 Peaches, I told you this lawyer was a backstabber. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3882 I absolutely cannot sign this. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3883 Have you seen the honey do list? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3884 I thought you said it was a stab in the dark! 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3885 Yes I checked the box but does anyone really reads the Terms and Conditions!!! 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3886 Okay, I concede a signed note with an explanation was thoughtful. Still... 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3887 I know you would not stab me in the back without a full explanation... 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3888 Yes honey, I spoke to the landlord again, but I’m still getting some resistance about breaking the lease. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3889 Why, yes - I do prefer your telephone calls! 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3890 Yes, I got it, and it's an offer I can't refuse. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3891 I think it’s a Ginsu! 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3892 I changed my mind I want the full week delivery not just weekends. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3893 911? I want to report an illegal posting. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3894 Honey, can you remind me where you put the shopping list? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3895 You’re telling me there’s an extra charge for breakfast too? 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
3896 Yes, I got your message, and I'll be setting up my voicemail sometime today. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3897 You could have sent me a text! 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3898 Can I have the Vatican, please? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3899 The President came up with a few suggestions we should look at. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
3900 I have 95 reasons why not 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3901 But I can't find your list of demands! 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3902 I don't see how agreeing to the death clause was helpful. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3903 I just got the subpoena. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3904 The terms of this agreement are killing me. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3905 Is there anyway we can turn this around? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3906 I am well aware that you want me to sign that contract. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3907 It's not the fine print I'm worried about... 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3908 She wanted her complaints to be stated in writing. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3909 I received your final notice about my late payment. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3910 Honey, have you seen my paternity test results anywhere? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3911 She read me the riot act and then she stabbed me in the back, literally. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3912 Yes doctor, my wife's "to do" list was a pain in the neck but now it's moved to my back. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3913 Police, I've been served with divorce papers! 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3914 In case I hadn't made it clear, Reginald, I prefer you send your attachments via email. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3915 No. Shank YOU. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3916 Yes, I did meet a Russian lawyer today. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3917 I think she seriously wants a divorce. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3918 Room service? Can you send up a lawyer and some large tweezers? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3919 I think those squats are finally paying off. Everyone's taking a close look at my backside today! 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3920 Your divorce lawyer made his point very clear. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3921 She’s finally gone Mom and she left a very unpleasant farewell letter. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3922 She said we're cutting back on Post-it notes. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3923 Our son thinks he is Martin Luther. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3924 Apparently Wendy wasn't joking when she said that she wanted a divorce! 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3925 I know, she could have emailed her demands. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3926 hi honey , where did you say you put the shopping list ? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3927 Are you ready for the worst part? My signature must be NOTARIZED! 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3928 Let me get straight to the point. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3929 I don't think she wants you calling here anymore. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3930 Yes, I got the divorce papers. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3931 My coverage? I'm having a bit of difficulty accessing the policy at the moment. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3932 Can I call you back...I've just been handed a project. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3933 You're right, I would prefer receiving a call over direct mail. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3934 I think Martha wants a divorce 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3935 I would love to run for the House of Representatives, but the fake Neew York Times stabbed me in the back. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
3936 Next time, text me your 95 Theses. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
3937 Yes, I'd like to file a complaint about the way my acupuncturist delivered my bill. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3938 Hang on, I know it's around here somewhere. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
3939 There is a very sharp point to their demands. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3940 Sorry babe, where did you say you put the grocery list? 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3941 She's trying to put it all behind me. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3942 Honey, if you left me a Dear John letter I would've seen it by now 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3943 My wife left me a note that I should report an attempted murder. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3944 No, Dear...I can't sign the divorce papers. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
3945 It seems I'm too indulgent with the kids. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3946 Well, your Yelp review sure FELT like a stab in the back! 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3947 My attorney said it’s a standard divorce contract. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3948 Is it too late to change parties? 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3949 Honey, have you seen my favorite "to do" list? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3950 When you said that you would get "back" with a note, you should have been more descriptive. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3951 Hey Honey -- can you tell me where you left that "To Do" list that you wanted me to tackle? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3952 Next time, please post it where I can read it. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3953 I might have a dogma problem. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3954 I’ll start my todo list as soon as I get a second mirror. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3955 Yes, I'm responding to your ad... 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3956 I don't see your point. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3957 Yes, I'd like to register a complaint about my bill. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3958 Hon, are you sure you paid the cable bill? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3959 I think I've been hit with a ransom note. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3960 The editor rejected my manuscript but she did attach some helpful suggestions this time. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3961 Remember that recipe you gave to the cook? Well she just quit. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3962 Nuptial Agreement Process department please... 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
3963 My only point was that it wasn’t fake news, then he made his point. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3964 Yes, my newspaper delivery complaint has been addressed, but not to my satisfaction. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3965 I just don't think I'll be able to back out of this contract. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3966 Editor? The pen is mightier, my ass. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3967 Any idea where I left my knife and list of demands? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3968 There's one on my closet door but I don't have a hand mirror. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3969 I don't want to be a process server anymore mommy. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3970 Just got a New Yorker rejection delivered in person. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3971 Yes, hello, I'm calling to enroll in paperless billing. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3972 Next time make it a jpeg. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3973 C'mon over, I've queued up a whole bunch of old Steve Guttenberg movies. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3974 Enough back and forth. I'm calling to accept your contract terms. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3975 I’d sign the darn separation agreement if I could reach it! 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3976 Mr Mueller ... 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3977 I'd like to report a Martin Luther. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3978 Yes. I'd like to order a bulletin board. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3979 they left a message for my masseuse 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3980 I gave up my cellphone two weeks ago, but I’m still getting hate mail. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3981 I don't remember where my spouse put the instructions. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
3982 Airbnb helpline? Yes--evidently there are some rather severe restrictions and penalties in my lease concerning short term rentals... 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3983 I want to report a missed delivery. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
3984 I'm concerned what might happen if this bill goes to collections. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
3985 Amazon? I'd like to order a bulletin board. 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
3986 My suicide note is attached. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3987 Hi, Jacob. My wife just signed and gave me the divorce papers. 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
3988 Is the dire shortage of fridge magnets likely to end soon ,if not what alternatives can you suggest ? 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3989 Hang on. My wife just served me with 95 theses. 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
3990 Of course, dear. I haven't lost the "honey do" list. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3991 Dr. Luther has made it plain to me that he is also considering a career in the circus. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3992 Yes, I'm here. The boss sent me home with a note. 1.2308 0.05900 52 40 12 0
3993 ''It's not the message . ''It's not the message. It's the delivery.'' 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
3994 Yes, my finance won’t sign the prenup. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3995 Listen carefully, your options have changed. Quite a bit, actually. 1.2308 0.05900 52 40 12 0
3996 I'd like to get off your special deals list. 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
3997 Hello, 9-1-1, I think my backstabbing wife just served me with divorce papers. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3998 Hello, I saw your ad on TV and could use some legal advice. My wife just served me with divorce papers. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3999 I’d like to report a totally trumped-up back-stabbing! 1.2308 0.08061 52 44 4 4
4000 Ok, you made your point, I'll sign the papers. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
4001 Yes, I just left the Senate floor and no I can’t be certain, but it does has the White House Letterhead on top. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
4002 Any ideas where you put the "to-do" list you gave to me this morning? 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
4003 I said the contract terms are stuck, rhymes with suck. 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
4004 It’s not so much a paper cut. More of a paper stab. 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
4005 I don't know the details, but she gave me a painful ultimatum. 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
4006 It feels like she really stabbed me in the back with these divorce papers 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
4007 Hey, can you come over and read my new cellular phone contract to me? 1.2308 0.08061 52 44 4 4
4008 Could you hold on, I think my wife wants me to sign the divorce papers. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
4009 No, I'm certain they think our offer is low. 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
4010 I Got Your Back. 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
4011 i got the message i can't read the attachment! 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
4012 911...I just received a death threat 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
4013 That's right. I ordered "This Is Spinal Tap" on on-demand and then requested my final bill for checkout. 1.2308 0.08061 52 44 4 4
4014 But it's only a first draft, aren't you being a little harsh? 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
4015 Press 3 if you would like to be removed from the list. 1.2308 0.08061 52 44 4 4
4016 Hi. I'm calling for take-out. 1.2308 0.05900 52 40 12 0
4017 Let me get back to you on some of those recommentations. I have a number of suggestions from my wife. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
4018 Not my idea of being put on notice 1.2308 0.08061 52 44 4 4
4019 I haven't looked yet but I think it's a honey-do list. 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
4020 He looked like Martin Luther. 1.2308 0.05900 52 40 12 0
4021 Are you coming to our 95 Theses Anniversary Party? 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
4022 I got your note, next time send a text. 1.2264 0.05804 53 41 12 0
4023 Godot finally showed 1.2264 0.06398 53 42 10 1
4024 They really stabbed me in the back with that pink slip. 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
4025 Go ahead and laugh. I don't have a cell phone. But at least I don't communicate the way my wife does. 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
4026 I am done playing Mr Nice Guy! 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
4027 Remember when ole professor psycho stapled my first rejected thesis to my forehead? Well, 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
4028 "One way or another, the divorce is final whether she signed them or not". 1.2264 0.07447 53 44 6 3
4029 Sorry, I can't make it. I brought some work home." 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
4030 May I take a message? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4031 It wouldn't hurt so much if you had fired me to my face! 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4032 I got the shopping list, mother. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4033 Hello...yes, I am looking for a lawyer. I believe my wife would like a divorce but I am not able to read the papers she left with me. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4034 The good news is that my 'to do' list is behind me now. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4035 What I understand is that the U.S. Postal Service isn't good enough for you. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4036 It’s not the content that I resent so much as the sensation of being stabbed in the back. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
4037 I still cannot understand what you want from me. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4038 We need to talk about this list you stuck me with. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4039 Honey, help me out. I couldn't find the shopping list! 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4040 Exactly what message delivery service are you using? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4041 Please come quickly! There’s a lunatic dressed up like Martin Luther running around the neighborhood. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4042 Senator, this new tax bill is a stab in the back to the middle class. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4043 I'm taking a stab at it right now! 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4044 I feel like your terms and conditions are stabbing me in the back. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4045 I was just served with divorce papers--I have a hunch she found out about our affair 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4046 I'm sorry honey, I don't mean to be insensitive. But I just can't find that note you left me. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4047 No, operator, I can’t read what it says. But I think you’re missing the point. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4048 That's all she wrote 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4049 i’m just curious - is the contract really binding? 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4050 Yes, I'd like to order a box of thumb tacks. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
4051 Really! I get your point. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4052 No, I think the "to do list" has stopped the bleeding.... 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4053 Yeah, I'm gonna need help filing my fed tax return this year. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4054 Senator McConnell? You told me the individual mandate on income tax would not be repealed, but I see from your note no intention to take my advice. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4055 Honey, can you remind me where you put that list of things you wanted me to do? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4056 Caeser's form of fake news 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4057 Yes, is this Lutheran Charities? I’d like to be removed from your mailing list. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4058 I can't find your note about the divorce, and my back is killing me. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4059 Mailing the bill would have sufficed. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4060 The pain in my neck stuck her knife in my back today. I think I've been served. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
4061 Frankly, I can’t see the point of your essay. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4062 She thinks texting is too impersonal 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4063 Okay, I'll take your customer satisfaction survey. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4064 Yes, it hurts. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
4065 Well, the good news is he finally released his taxes. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
4066 Hello dear, I have a prickling sensation you left me a to-do list, but I can't find it anywhere 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4067 Yes honey, you did leave the shopping list at home. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4068 I think the collectors really mean it this time. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4069 Give you one guess who served the divorce papers herself. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4070 The 'you've left me' letter--can't find it. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4071 I got your letter. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4072 Taxes on a postcard? No, not this year 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4073 The house is fine, but I've been condemned. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
4074 I didn't receive your reaction to the proposed divorce agreement I drafted. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4075 I am sorry that I have to tell you this, but we must begin paying back our student loans. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4076 He told me I need to reform. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4077 Yes, it’s true. She just served me with the divorce papers. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4078 I think it's the same guy who pinned "kick me" on my back in the third grade. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4079 She didn't even leave a note. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4080 She said she left a note but I can't find it.. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4081 Okay, I'll give you the divorce. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4082 Give me a second--let me find my glasses--where'd I put that bill? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4083 After a review of the service agreement you ‘delivered,’ I’ve changed my mind and decided not to cancel my cable service at this time. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4084 This doesn't feel like a routine part of the iPhone X upgrade process. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4085 Let me call you back, I’m pinned down just now. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4086 I haven't seen it yet, but it feels bad. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4087 Hi, I need to hire an attorney...my divorce papers were just served. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4088 Call 911. The Republicans have stabbed me in the back with the proposed tax bill. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4089 Sorry, I haven't had a chance to read about your rate increase yet. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4090 At the tone, leave a message in my back 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4091 Yes, you can get it in paper back. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4092 Your delivery method leaves a lot to be desired! 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4093 It's an existential crisis. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4094 My wife would like the Ceaser salad. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4095 I'm not signing that contract, you backstabber! 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4096 Yeah, she really stabbed me in the back with the divorce papers. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4097 His name? He called himself Stabby McBackstab. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4098 Hi. I've been attacked by my insurance small print. Yes, I'll hold. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4099 It has something to do with the selling of indulgences. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4100 Honey, couldn’t you have used a post-it for your list? 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4101 Yes, I did receive the message. I just can't read it. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4102 I'm beginning to suspect that my wife knows about us. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4103 My wife says she doesn't recognize the knife but she hasn't been too honest with me lately. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4104 Hi Honey, I guess I wasn't listening before, where did you say you left the grocery list? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4105 This tax form is killing me 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4106 I guess it was too long for a Tweet. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
4107 My wife delivered the divorce papers in person. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4108 She did say she'd stick it to me in the divorce, but I think we need to change our strategy. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4109 Whoever it was seems to have their reasons. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4110 The Condo board liked almost all of my suggestions.. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4111 Yes, I got your memo. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4112 No kidding, I was stabbed in the back and there is a note attached. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4113 The divorce papers have arrived. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4114 Regular mail would have sufficed. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4115 It's not my fault if you posted notice where I can't see it. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4116 I want to speak to someone about my latest overdue bill payment notice. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4117 Well, Doctor, the way to describe the pain is my wife, she showed me a job in the classifies advertisement and when I pointed out I was not qualified I had a sudden piercing pain in my back, like a knife ! 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4118 Dear, we have to talk about your honey do lists. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4119 You knew I wasn't Protestant when you married me. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4120 Honey!.. the "too-do" list is becoming a real pain. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4121 I am a little busy right now, call my Heirs. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
4122 Well, in a nutshell, it says sharpen the knives. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4123 The divorce papers came in the mail today and my wife is really trying to stab me in the back 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4124 My wife thinks I don't pay any attention to her to-do lists. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4125 It only hurts when I do something unconstitutional. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4126 He didn't CARE that we're Jewish!!!! 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4127 I know my back’s up, but what are they saying behind my back? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4128 The health insurance agent came by. They're denying my claim. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4129 I like to proclaim a stabbing. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
4130 I seem to be stuck with a policy - and I am having trouble reading the fine print. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4131 I just have enough time to say that you've made your point. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4132 Hello. This is Martin Luther. I'm afraid I've made a terrible mistake. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4133 I haven’t read that yet 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4134 I told you the bill for Corleone’s garage was due... 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4135 I'm I'd like to apply for that new job opening for a whistle blower. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4136 Yes, Agatha, I received the divorce papers. I'll look them over as soon as the ambulance arrives. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4137 I think it all started in 4th grade when someone taped a "kick me" sign on my pants. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4138 I am not a church door 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4139 She did it right after I insisted that I could buy an indulgence. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4140 Hello Doc. I think I have a paper cut. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4141 I can't sign the divorce papers if I can't reach them. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4142 Actually, no. I'm not happy with the terms of my long distance plan. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4143 They told me I couldn't leave my post. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4144 It was just another day at the office. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4145 Yes, I know you left me a good-bye letter while I was sleeping.. No, I haven't read it yet. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
4146 There's a note; but I'm not sure if it says when she'll be back. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4147 Yes, I got your message and your point was well stated but it still hurts! 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
4148 I don't know whether there are fingerprints on the handle. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4149 I can’t read it. I just know it hurts. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
4150 Someone knifed me in the back and stole my paper. Yes, I'll hold. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
4151 Ever since we finalized the divorce, Doc, I've had this nagging pain between my shoulder blades. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
4152 You people didn’t deliver today’s newspaper again. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4153 But i thought the mini-bar was free. 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
4154 I know you left me with a "to do list," but it's on backwards. 1.2200 0.07714 50 42 5 3
4155 I've just received the divorce papers. I'm guessing that you're really not in the mood to discuss reconciliation? 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4156 I expected a more traditional reply from the congressman. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4157 But I have a lifetime warranty. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4158 OK! OK! Your mother already sent me the shopping list! 1.2200 0.05918 50 39 11 0
4159 I don't see the news, I feel it. 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
4160 911, I have a death notice I can't read. 1.2200 0.08226 50 43 3 4
4161 No, honey, I won't forget to water the plants. 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
4162 I was served the paperwork with a steak knife. 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
4163 Honestly, I'm more upset about the figurative backstabbing. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4164 He knifed me in the back at work but didn't puncture my Kevlar underwear. 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
4165 95? I don’t know...why do you ask? 1.2200 0.05918 50 39 11 0
4166 Don't get mad again, honey, but can you tell me once more where you put my "to do" list? 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4167 Of course I heard you say 'I'm putting the shopping list right here'. I just wasn't looking at where 'here' was exactly. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4168 Reason for returning the Whambo boomerang dagger?...well it's hard to control and the directions are way too long. 1.2200 0.07714 50 42 5 3
4169 Got the message. Can't read it. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4170 I haven't seen your letter. Are you sure you put enough postage on it? 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4171 I can't sign off on this. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4172 It's my last will and testament, but I need another witness. 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
4173 Yes, I get the point - now put me on your do not call list! 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
4174 That back-stabbing jerk in accounting is harassing me again. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4175 Yes, dear, I got your to-do list. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4176 I? assume your attorney once worked in the circus 1.2200 0.07714 50 42 5 3
4177 I checked in the mirror and I think it starts out "We the People..." 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4178 911 - I just got stabbed by Fake News 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
4179 My wife just informed me she's leaving... 1.2200 0.05918 50 39 11 0
4180 Next time, if you want to leave a message, please do so on the answering machine. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4181 She left me her list but I just don’t know where to start. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
4182 I'd better let you go--I think it's urgent. 1.2200 0.05918 50 39 11 0
4183 You're breaking up with me with 95 Theses? 1.2157 0.07037 51 42 7 2
4184 I got the part! 1.2157 0.05817 51 40 11 0
4185 I'm calling about the denial of coverage for my back injury that just arrived 1.2157 0.06456 51 41 9 1
4186 But, I'm an atheist. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4187 I didn't get the promotion. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4188 This phone bill is killing me! 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4189 It's a new set of marriage vows. Apparently the others didn't cover everything. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4190 Honey, these divorce papers are a real stab in the back! 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4191 I haven’t had a chance to read the letter yet, but I suspect the publisher didn’t love my manuscript. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4192 Hi, someone just stabbed me. Yeah. Right in the back. Yes, it would be great if you could send an ambulance. Thanks. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4193 Hello? Yes, collections is getting more creative... 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4194 A divorce lawyer of my wife ? Sorry, wrong number. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4195 Yes Sir, they do seem very determined. Their lawyers just delivered the list of demands. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4196 AND she complains that I don’t do my share of the shopping! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4197 Hi, I'm calling about a Mr. Martin Luther in apartment 2F. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4198 Early termination fee? 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4199 I need to order one pair of suspenders, and, do you do knife removal? 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4200 I’d like to report an attack by my crazy neighbor .... Martin Luther. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4201 Mrs. Luther's 95 Theses. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4202 Yes, I got divorce papers. No, I haven't had a chance to read them. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4203 Well I didn’t get a good look ar the assailant but I am pretty sure he is Lutheran and unreliable. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4204 I’d like to report an incident of radical Lutheran terrorism. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4205 I realize you’re upset, dear, but did you have to hire Gloria Allred? 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4206 I haven't read your list of demands but I feel they are a pain in the back 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4207 “I have this feeling that she left me a note”. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4208 Getting out of my cell phone contract was painful. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4209 Yeah...they smile in your face...all the time, they want to take your place... 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4210 I know she wasn't happy about the non-discloser agreement, but for $5,000,000 I didn't think she would stab me in the back and publish it. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4211 Quick update, Sir. The seller personally countered your obscenely low and offensive offer. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4212 Well officer, I was just walking into church and... 1.2128 0.08568 47 41 2 4
4213 My wife is missing; last I saw her she was mumbling something about how insensitive I am. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4214 Hello, Officer? I want to report a Reformation. 1.2128 0.08568 47 41 2 4
4215 They just sent me the therapy and the bill for my back pain simultaneously ! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4216 I get this pain every time I pay my bills 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4217 She delivered the divorce papers this afternoon. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4218 Middle Class Tax Cut 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4219 I've just been attacked by someone who thinks he is Martin Luther. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4220 "And I'm sick of her cutting remarks". 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4221 I apologize for missing our appointment. I misplaced my reminder note. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4222 I’m sorry Martin, I just don’t get the point. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4223 Her divorce decree? No, I haven't seen it yet. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4224 My wife strongly suggested I call you. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4225 Yes, I heard that it passed The House, but I still have no idea what's in it. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4226 where did you say our grocery list is? 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4227 You said there was a grace period! 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4228 Actually, my wife handles all the bills. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4229 What memo? Where did you leave it? 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4230 I finally got your point, Ma'am. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4231 'Next time you send me to negotiate I'm gonna need to go in with a bulletproof contract. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4232 And so then I said “Dear, I’m not the Help Desk, you need to figure out how to back up your documents on Sharepoint yourself.” 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4233 Yes, I'll wait.... 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4234 The alimony agreement is a real back stabber. I need to talk to my lawyer about it. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4235 Does this mean you’ve fired our collaborative attorney? 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4236 Thank you for sending the information on Reverse Mortgages. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4237 I wish I could, but I've got a deadline I absolutely can't miss. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4238 Evicted. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4239 Honey, where did you put my to-do list? 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4240 Just posting your thesis online would have worked. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4241 Hon, I ahhh, got your note 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4242 Your 'Dear John' letter sure was a stab in the back. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4243 I feel there's a sticking point in the agreement, but I can't quite put a finger on it. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4244 She's left me for a Lutheran. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4245 I'm on the front of the Toledo Blade! 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4246 I promise to read your screenplay at the ER. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4247 Hello Boss: I'll be a little late coming to work. Apparently, my wife served me with divorce papers. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4248 Ye, I have the acupuncture script with me. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4249 OK, OK, I get the point! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4250 Hello, police... I just had some guy at my door dressed like a monk. Said his name was Luther. Rambled on about a reformation or something. I yelled for my wife but when I turned back around to he was gone! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4251 Cancel my order for the 95 indulgensis. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4252 She's not in, but she left you a note somewhere. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4253 Indulgences? I think you've got the wrong number. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4254 Do you have any _other_ messages for Room 909? 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4255 Dear, I can’t find those legal papers you say were served on me anywhere. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4256 She just served me the papers: I think she wants a divorce. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4257 My wife said she left a note explaining why she was leaving me but I can't find it 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4258 So Dear, where again did you say you left that honey-do list? 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4259 What do you mean that I should have first read the fine print? 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4260 Will call you back after I find my to do list! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4261 Mom? Wow, what ironic timing for your call. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4262 Yes, I got the subpoena. Your lawyer made his point quite clearly. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4263 Summons Service Department, please! 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4264 Well....no, I didn't sign-up for paperless statements. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4265 This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "print is dead." 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4266 I wish to report a significant edict from my wife, 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4267 Yes, I have a copy of our prenup. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4268 I ran into Martin outside of the cathedral... 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4269 I didn't know they took cord cutting so personally. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4270 I said, " Fax it to me! Not stick it to me." 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4271 Et tu, Mother? 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4272 The wife has made her opinion of my proposed divorce settlement abundantly clear. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4273 I think the last thing she said was, 'How about we take YOU out of your will.' 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4274 Remind me not to attend Lutheran conventions. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4275 My lawyer stabbed me in the back 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4276 It lacks a human element. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4277 She asked that those who cannot be present and dispute with her orally shall do so in their absence by letter. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4278 So, the divorce papers came via special delivery, but I’m going to need help signing them. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4279 Ni, I didn't lose the bill again, but this time I can't read it. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4280 This divorce is going to be more painful than I thought. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4281 Vintage Siri 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4282 Hello, front desk? Vito hand delivered the Post. I specifically asked for the Times. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4283 I can't find the shopping list. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4284 Well, I have a pretty extensive Honey-Do list, but I guess I can hold. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4285 No, I don’t have any pain. I just feel betrayed. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4286 It is the quincentenary of Martin Luther's 95 Theses. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4287 Is this the marriage reconciliation hot line? 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4288 Hello operator. Would you please give me the number for the cartoon hospital? 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4289 Martin, this is not funny. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4290 No honey, I haven't seen your to-do list. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4291 Yes, the clinic did give me the patient rights agreement to sign. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4292 I know you said you want me to stop procrastinating and get going on your honey-do list, but isn't this carrying it a bit far? 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4293 Hello, 911? I need help. Someone has mistaken me for the door of Wittenberg Castle church! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4294 Damn lawyers have stuck it to me again. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4295 When you said you'd get BACK to me I thought you meant an email or phone call. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4296 Hello counselor? I have received 95 theses for us to consider 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4297 I know you put it where I would remember but, of course, I forgot where that was 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4298 I've been looking but I can't find where you put the grocery list. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4299 Delivery issue. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4300 Where did you leave that of items you wanted me to pick up at the store dear? 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4301 He said there wasn't room on my desk. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4302 Hi Dr. Smith. I’m having some really bad back pain... I wrote down a list of questions for you, but I just can’t remember where I put it! 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4303 On the contrary, young Martin has made his feelings very clear. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4304 She didn't say but she left you a note. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4305 He said he wouln'nt sign over my dead body. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4306 Among other things, Mrs. Luther, he says he did it because you named him, Martin. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4307 Hello, Nancy? Yes, I was served with the divorce papers. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4308 Tired of disputing the power of her husband’s indulgences, Mrs. Martin Luther posts her own 95 Theses. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4309 Just got the divorce papers. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4310 Well, it wasn't Anthony Scaramucci. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4311 Can I still text you? 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4312 Martin Luther notwithstanding... 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4313 No. My wife urges I cease communication with you altogether. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4314 My wife insisted on personally serving me with the divorce papers. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4315 theyve bulls eyed the universal tax form 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4316 I'm calling because I received your strongly worded letter about my overdue account. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4317 What do you mean, "I'll be sorry if I don't complete my honey do list"? 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4318 I should've seen it coming. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4319 All I heard was "here's my damn signature, honey" then I felt a sharp stabbing pain. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4320 Yes, I'd like to make an appointment to get my "honey do" list removed. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4321 Where did you say you put the To-Do list again? 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4322 This is the absolute last time that I teach that class on Lutheranism. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4323 No honey, I didn’t forget your “honey do” list. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4324 Dear John just stabbed me in the back. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4325 Martha know it’s my favorite holiday John ... yathink she could have waited until AFTER Thanksgiving to serve me with a divorce! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4326 Ha 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4327 My divorce just got medieval on me. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4328 Honey, where did you pin that shopping list? 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4329 Yes honey….I remember where you put the list... 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4330 I wish I could tell you what's in the complaint, but I'm having trouble grasping it. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4331 I was the church door in my son's 3rd grade play. Yeah, Martin Luther...95 Theses. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4332 I got ninety-five problems but the Pope ain't one. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4333 Never mind telling me what's on the menu, thanks. My wife just stuck it where she can read it to me. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4334 I'd prefer you negotiate this deal yourself. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4335 Hello. I’d like to relay a text message I received from a Mr. Vinnie “the Snake” Carlucci … 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4336 If you have something to say to me, you can call my admin and make an appointment, just like everyone else! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4337 My wife just served me. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4338 It's an old school tweet.... from him. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4339 It started as a playful bible lesson. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4340 Hi Sue, Joe sent me a tickler about the contract that is due today. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4341 I’m not convinced arbitration was the best idea . . . 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4342 No, I thought I could drop the cloak part of the work. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4343 I recognized him, officer. His name is Luther, Martin Luther. Very nearsighted, insisted I was a door. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4344 I got ahold of Knausgaard's make-believe suicide note. Problem is, he saw me take it. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4345 Yeah, hi Bill, I'm going to be late to work today - apparently it's my turn to go food shopping. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4346 I agree, we shouldn't have named him Martin Luther. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4347 I think it's a list of grievances from my team but I can't say for sure 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4348 Yeah? Well I've got one more for your little list! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4349 It kind of hurts that you won't talk to me anymore. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4350 Yes mother, she served me with the papers. Seems somewhat prejudicial! 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4351 Yes, Martin Luther please- I believe he came by the Parish just as I was closing up. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4352 Just checking one more time - that was dry cleaning and RYE bread? 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4353 Seymour, I just got Ethel's divorce papers. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4354 Yes, Dear. I got the message. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4355 No, I'm not disputing the charges. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4356 My wife gave me a "honeydo" list again. 1.2128 0.08568 47 41 2 4
4357 White male. Five foot four. German or possibly Austrian. Wearing a habit. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
4358 Hi honey, I got my notice. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4359 Yeah, I just got the divorce papers, and I'm starting to think we the amicable route is off the table. 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
4360 I know it’s here somewhere. I’ll call you right back. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4361 I had expected to get the new 1040 on line. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4362 The negotiations were painful, but we've got a deal. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
4363 Yes, I was eating cake when my son went all Martin Luther on me. I think he misunderstood the meaning of indulgences. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
4364 What is to forget? 1.2115 0.06344 52 42 9 1
4365 Yes, police? I'd like to report a schism. 1.2083 0.08400 48 42 2 4
4366 Someone stuck a note on my beck ,I have the filling it's not good news . 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4367 Please tell attorney Schmidt he was right: She resorted to the "nail and mail" method of service. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4368 I can't find the punch list ! 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4369 I expected this at the office, but at home? Really? 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4370 Hello, I'd like to speak to your costumer service. I feel like your company really stabbed me in the back with the new terms and conditions. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4371 No, I haven't seen your "honey do" list. Have you seen my letter opener? 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4372 " I'm not comfortable with your telling me 'you've got my back' ". 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4373 Yes officer, I've been attacked by the liberal media. 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
4374 Hello, Customer Service? Yes, I certainly would like to "go paperless and save money with e-delivery." 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
4375 Let's keep each other posted. 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
4376 Honey? Where did you leave the grocery list? 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4377 Hi, I’m trying to reach Martin Luther 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4378 Sorry I don't know where she went. I can't read her note. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4379 I was visiting a church in Wittenberg when this monk ... 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4380 Yes. I believe I can pinpoint the pain for you. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4381 Hello, Lutheran Medical? I'd like to contest some charges. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4382 Mrs. Luther, it's Leo, next door. Look, I know little Marty was excited about the 500th anniversary, but it's gotten a bit out of hand. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4383 They failed at Repeal and Replace, so they mandated a new way to deliver diagnoses. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4384 I asked her to scratch my back, like always, and when I turned around she'd disappeared. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4385 Ninety-five, I think. Why? 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4386 It's either my last will and testament or my divorce papers. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4387 Hurry home, honey. The kids are starting to make demands. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4388 I don't know where she went, she said to sign the divorce papers but I cant find them anywhere! 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4389 I feel like I'm a metaphor for something, but I can't figure out what. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4390 Yes, honey, I’ll add that to my to-do list. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4391 No, I didn't see it coming and I still don't know what she really wants. I'm really quite hurt she chose this way to tell me. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4392 The divorce papers were just served. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4393 If you haven't clicked "yes" on the software update, yet, maybe hold off a little longer. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4394 No, the divorce isn't final yet, Frank. I've only just been served. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4395 Honey, come on. Didn't we talk about healthy communication styles with the therapist? 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4396 "She said that I was Whittenburg and she was Luther"! 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4397 Yes, I’d like to switch cable providers. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4398 Helen, I very much do get your point. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4399 I just found the latest " honey-do" list. 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
4400 She said she would air-mail the "to do" list 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4401 Actually your paper wasn't due until after the break. 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
4402 I have no idea where you put the shopping list. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4403 I'm afraid I did get the point Alice. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4404 I am taking a stab at the to-do list as we speak ! 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4405 Myra just said someday I would understand. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4406 Brutus, it’s Julius. Fine, I’ll read your screenplay. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4407 Yes, your lawyer delivered the divorce papers. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4408 I love her but she is constantly stabbing me in the back with her demands. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4409 911, The phone company's drive to get me to replace my land line with cell service has become more pointed. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4410 Suspects?. Yes, mainly two. The OJ's and a guy called Mack. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4411 Yes. I was served the divorce papers this morning. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4412 Yeah its me. I've found the Kevin Spacey morals clause. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4413 I just got my tax refund. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4414 Baby, I forgot where you put to-do list... 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4415 Just before she left, she said she would leave me an explanatory note...but I can't find it anywhere! 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4416 I know it hard to believe but they're making demands behind my back. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4417 She didn't like wording that said I would keep both houses. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4418 Okay, so I don’t have eyes in the back of my head! What’s your point? 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4419 I think our tax preparer just quit. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4420 Honey, where's that shopping list? 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4421 I’d like to submit some cutting edge humor. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4422 Hey Al, you know how my wife hates technology. Well, she finally went off the deep end when she couldn't find a bulletin board to post her ultimatum on. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4423 I am calling to complain about your "End User License Agreement". 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4424 She is having second thoughts about the arrangements. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4425 To-do list? Where did you leave it? 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4426 .....”said his name was Martin Luther?” 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4427 So she said she indulged me enough, gave me a list of the 95 most terrible things she thinks I did and left. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4428 Ok, You can have the house. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4429 No. I didn't see the papers you left me. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4430 ..And so I told her that I admired Martin Luther and how he handled disagreements 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4431 Hello is this the TMZ hot line " Martin Luther is alive and living in my closet". 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
4432 Sandra, if you just told your lawyer to call me first he could have mailed me the divorce complaint. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4433 Yes Mom, I think she wants a divorce. 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
4434 She hasn't mentioned a divorce, but I'm pretty sure it's a marital schism... 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4435 I get a sense she wants the same order as last time. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4436 911 I feel a sharp pain in my tax return 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4437 She'll kill me if I forget. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4438 I'm afraid she took it literally. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4439 Yes, I got your report. No, I haven't read it yet. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4440 She claims I'm oblivious to what she's trying to communicate. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4441 Where did you say you put the note? 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4442 Yes, she just delivered the divorce papers. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4443 I still don’t know why she stormed out of here but it really really hurts. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4444 Yes, dear, I'll remember the shopping list this time. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4445 Did we read the warranty? Well, my wife took a stab at it ... 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4446 Yeah, i don't think they are really into renegotiating your contract 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4447 No, I have absolutely no complaints about my new insurance agent. I would simply request that you have Mr. Gambino email my bills from now on. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4448 Can we go back to good fences? 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4449 Et tu, Blue Cross? 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4450 No Dear, I haven't misplaced gentle reminder for the Honey Do List this time! 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4451 She was determined to get her point across. 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4452 How can I get this lawsuit off my back? 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4453 Yes, honey - I trust you. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4454 Would you send me another reminder? 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4455 No, she's not bitter about the divorce...in fact she said she signed the papers already. 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
4456 No. I didn't forget were divorced, Its just Hard to find the visitation days... 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4457 Yes! I said, 'Look, I've been in this part of Brooklyn since 1972 and I'll keep paying $225 a month for as long as I damn please! 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4458 "Hello. I'd like to cancel my subscription to the Blade". 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4459 Alice - I told you I would sign the divorce papers SOON! 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4460 I have a complaint about the process server. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4461 My Reformation Theology class got a little too excited about handing in their theses. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4462 I went to a political rally today - it was so cutting an pointed with every one chanting "STICK IT TO THE MAN!" I just couldn't take all the jabs. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4463 Luther. Martin Luther 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4464 You were right, Mom. I shouldn't have married a Lutheran. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4465 I know it's not hip to have an answering machine, but the alternative seems ridiculous. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4466 I've been attacked but the non-disclosure I signed prevents me from providing any further details. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
4467 Hello, suicide hotline? I wrote a note, but I can't seem to find it. 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
4468 Yes, I need an ambulance. Could you please send a lawyer as well? 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4469 911? My name is Martin and the Pope just stuck some theses on my back. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4470 Was it really necessary to sign terms and conditions in blood? 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4471 No, Honey, I couldn't even find my to-do list 1.2083 0.05924 48 38 10 0
4472 I appreciate the answers to my questions; but really, next time - send an email! 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
4473 Mildred, as your son-in-law, please stop sending Helen those letters dissing me. 1.2051 0.07510 39 32 6 1
4474 I'd like to cancel may subscription. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4475 Yeah, I'd like to place an order for take out. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4476 ha ha ha ... No, Martin Luther did not pay me a visit. 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
4477 You always do this! I've looked everywhere! What do you mean I can't miss it? 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
4478 I think I've been stabbed in the back with my own words. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4479 Hello? 911? I've just received a letter from my ex-wife! 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4480 Honey, you forgot to leave me the grocery list again. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4481 Yes, officer. When she said ‘I’ve got your back’ I thought she meant she APPROVED of my decision to retire! 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4482 I wanted to speak with you about one of your process servers. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4483 Yes, the divorce settlement is signed. About my fee... 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4484 I suspect she's filed for divorce. I've just been served. 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
4485 No, I can't see what it says. 1.2041 0.07704 49 42 4 3
4486 The good news is that the cable company waived the fees for the first month. 1.2041 0.07704 49 42 4 3
4487 Remind me! Where is the separation contract? 1.2041 0.07704 49 42 4 3
4488 Gloria stopped by to give me the divorce papers. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4489 Your Holiness? Yes! There was a mad monk here a minute ago. He left a message. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4490 What do you mean you left the grocery list in the back? 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4491 Every time I think I can get away, my To Do list stabs me in the back. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4492 Terms and conditions applied. 1.2041 0.07704 49 42 4 3
4493 Just got a letter from my ex. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4494 Betrayal received. 1.2041 0.07704 49 42 4 3
4495 Hello? I've misplaced my bill. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4496 No, it was more than the pirate costume that got my attention. 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
4497 You served me with divorce papers? When? How? 1.2041 0.07704 49 42 4 3
4498 Yes, I'm calling about a Special Delivery. 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
4499 Anniversary or not, I won't indulge her ninety-five demands! 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4500 Mom, I think Elizabeth might want a divorce. 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
4501 There's new information but I haven't looked at it yet. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4502 I suspect Martin Luther. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
4503 I'm afraid the contract negotiations have reached a sticking point. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4504 Hello, 911, "Yes, I want to report a disgruntle debt collector." 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4505 Look,.... I don't care what it says in the fine print. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4506 No,I didn't say backslapper 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4507 She's found a sticking point in the divorce proposal. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4508 Lawyers really are backstabbers 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4509 I read the article, but what’s the back story? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4510 They lie in your face. All the time, they want to take your place... 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4511 911, it's Norm Luther again, Martin's brother 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4512 I'm dying to tell you about the divorce papers I just got. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4513 Hello, New Yorker? About your delivery person.... 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4514 Trust me, it’s at the top of my to-do list. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4515 Hello? 911? I'm not certain, but I think it's both death and taxes. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4516 I lost my dagger and you lost your grocery list. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4517 You're divorcing me? I didn't see that coming. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4518 Honey, slowly hang up the phone, and turn around! 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4519 I guess she finally got tired of hearing, 'Don't you get the point?' 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4520 This is a medical AND a psychiatric emergency. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4521 I am looking fir Martin Luther's suster 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4522 I got your note and quite frankly, I regard it as a stab in the back. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4523 Well they were smiling in face when all the time they wanted to take my place... 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4524 Sorry, I misplaced the "honey do" list again. Did you stick it somewhere? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4525 I forgot, where did you put those divorce papers ? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4526 911? It seems a guy dressed like a monk thought I was the door of his church. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4527 Sorry honey, but where did you leave the grocery list? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4528 Also, I can't read the fine print. 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4529 How's law school? Well, I'm finding Contract Law's a killer course. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4530 Honey, remember that Martin Luther guy at the homeowner association meeting who was unhappy with the CC&Rs? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4531 I take it back. I get your point now. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4532 The fact that YOU are THERE... and I am HERE... does NOT make this a PRE-EXISTING CONDITION! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4533 Yes, I have the divorce papers. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4534 911? I seem to be the subject of ninety-five theses. Could you please send a priest? 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4535 Hello, Mr Luther. Your boy, Martin, is acting up again. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4536 No, I’m not exaggerating. She literally stabbed me in the back with the divorce papers. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4537 Your Honey-do’s are killing me. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4538 I won't be able to make our tee time. My wife has other plans for me. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4539 Hello, is this 311? How do I file a complaint against my landlord? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4540 I understand you and your mother "love" the painting! But the bill just came and it's "really" killing me! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4541 Honey, I've looked all over the house and can't find the list you gave me. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4542 I swear I have the divorce papers here somewhere 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4543 I was just served with your divorce papers. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4544 No, I didn't read the terms and conditions! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4545 No, he did not exactly hand me the free estimate. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4546 Yes, I'm a member of the middle class. Sure, I'll hold. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4547 Only an idiot would agree to those terms. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4548 One sec--I left my notes behind me! 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4549 Bennett, do you think you can put a good word in for me with the romance editor? Mystery is killing me. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4550 Mr Luther sent me a reminder to call you. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4551 My wife asked me to order paper clips. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4552 Ja, wanted to see if you had repaired the spectacles of Vicar Martin Luther yet? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4553 She said something about a Reformation and then left 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4554 So you're telling me you'd like some changes in the pre-nup? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4555 Yes, I'm calling to make a change in your newspaper's delivery instructions. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4556 Yes, I understand, I just think there are nicer ways to ask someone for a divorce... 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4557 You're obviously very upset and I think we should discuss this issue face to face. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4558 The President doesn't always respond by Tweet. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4559 I think I may owe you an apology. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4560 No, this is not a prank call. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4561 Hi - yes, I'd like to complain about your bank's new manner of delivering my account statements 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4562 No luck yet, but apparently she left the report somewhere she was sure I would find it. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4563 I can confidently state that I've been served with the divorce papers. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4564 I'm being evicted. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4565 The contract from the National Knife Association just arrived. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4566 I’m starting to think that being “meeting facilitator” at the office isn’t for me. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4567 Oh, my day at the office was politics as usual. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4568 I swear, Hillary, I was always loyal to the campaign! 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4569 The news? I can’t really say but it’s painful. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4570 My wife dropped off the divorce papers today - it went well. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4571 Well, communication isn't Susan's mother's strongest suit. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4572 Honey, I seem to have misplaced your list of things I should do in order for us to stay together. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4573 Could you send over one of your representatives to twist it a little? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4574 I just got the point; I need to reform my ways--95 ways! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4575 911 ? No, I can't hold. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4576 Did you sign them, at least? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4577 Such a pain! I can not find your list! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4578 "Hello Mrs. Luther. Martin has gone too far this time. First he started nailing his "95 theses" to the classroom doors, now this. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4579 You were right, ignoring the issue hasn't seemed to work. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4580 Have you seen the honey do list? 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4581 Yes, apparently my wife needs eggs, and I’ll take an ambulance. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4582 I got your message, and I've got to tell you: it makes me feel like you're stabbing me in the back. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4583 Got you message Mr. President. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4584 She’ll kill me if I don’t find the “to do” list. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4585 It's just that there is a right way and wrong way to file for divorce. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4586 Sorry, I can’t talk now. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4587 I just got your reminder, the payment will be in the mail first thing tomorrow. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4588 His name is Martin Luther and he owes me three indulgences. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4589 Hey, where did you stick that contract offer? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4590 Yes, your writing has gotten much sharper. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4591 Apparently I am the target of false accusations. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4592 Well, typically it's about how I need to apply myself to the task of making her feel better. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4593 Yes, you remembered to put eggs on my to-do-or-die list. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4594 I didn't know you would stab me in the back with an injunction. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4595 I never agreed to these updated terms and conditions, Brutus. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4596 I received your proposal, but there's one sticking point. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4597 Got your message, dear. I think we need to talk. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4598 My wife just gave me an ultimatum. So, I am calling you to repair our headlights. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4599 He said his name was Luther. Martin Luther. 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4600 Sorry I can't come. She hit me with her "honey do list" right between my shoulders. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4601 My wife just served me with papers. I didn’t think divorce could be this painful! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4602 Thank you for the reminder. I'm sure I won't forget again. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4603 Yes, dear, I got the to do list. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4604 You said the new billing system would be painless. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4605 Honey, I can't find the do list. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4606 I just got some bad news. Do you want the backstory? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4607 Brietbart home delivery hotline, how can we help you? 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4608 You can say I was taken aback by their negotiation tactics. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4609 Oh, I'm painfully aware that some people have grievances with my management style. 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4610 I sense that a no-fault divorce is out of the question. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4611 Next time a simple letter will do 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4612 Do you mind if I call you right back? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4613 Yes, I got your list of demands but did you have to stick a knife in my back as well? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4614 Looks like we'll be skipping mediation and going straight to triage. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4615 No, I mean her demands are literally beyond my reach... 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4616 I think this back pain is trying to tell me something. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4617 No, I do not have a history with Martin Luther. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4618 Tell Martin Luther to call me back. I'm really upset. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4619 I have a problem but you can rule out Martin Luther. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4620 The order distinctly spelled out A-R-R-O-W ! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4621 That information is just out of reach. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4622 Guess I should have made the Honey Do list a higher priority 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4623 You know I can't read backward. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4624 Your written notice was sufficient. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4625 Do you deliver thumbtacks? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4626 I need a lawyer- my wife stabbed me in the back with the divorce contract. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4627 Two words. White board. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4628 She was insulted by the pre-nup. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4629 Press One if you're the victim of an enthusiastic Lutheran. Press Two if the twins are up to high-spirited mischief again... 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4630 I’m calling from a landline because those cell phone contracts are killers.” 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4631 You said it would be an amiable divorce. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4632 I thought taxes were a pain in the ass for a middle-class guy like me, so I voted for Republicans. But I just finished reading the GOP tax plan. . . . 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4633 As a matter of fact, I have been talking to Russians. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4634 How the heck am I supposed to know what it says? It's in my back! 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4635 Where did you say you put my to-do list? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4636 ....alright, but the president said 'the constitution got your back'.... 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4637 Oh, message on MY back, I thought it was call YOU back 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4638 darling I think a thumbtack would have sufficed 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4639 Hi Herb. I need you to come over and confirm something. I think Margaret just served me divorce papers. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4640 Yes dear, I found your to-do list. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4641 I wouldn't quite go so far as to call it tax relief. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4642 I've heard rumors I'm getting the pink slip, but so far, nothing. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4643 I got your list of grievances. Could we discuss them, possibly at the emergency room? 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4644 Room Service, I feel a really bad draft in my suite." 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4645 Dear, I can't find the note you left for me. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4646 I work in Show Business. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4647 A pirate's life just isn't for me. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4648 I've no idea what they are demanding, officer! 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4649 Hi, is this an exorcist? I've been repossessed. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4650 Yes, this is the best way to reach me. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4651 Martin Luther’s desk, please. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4652 Yes, they've got my back on this. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4653 It feels like I'm forgetting something. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4654 I'm not taking this lying down. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4655 For groceries, a post-it note would suffice. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4656 Please bill me by regular mail 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4657 Hey Sweetheart, Mildred has finally given me the divorce papers. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4658 Was this really necessary, I said, "I got the message." 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4659 So I hear you refused my settlement offer 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4660 Hello Don Giovanni - I got your message 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4661 Thankfully, I was shielded by the large pile of the paperwork. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4662 My back pain began right after our sales meeting when I asked the competition to make their point obvious! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4663 E tu Martinus? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4664 I can no longer represent my client in this matter. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4665 I am stuck with a newspaper I did not order... 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4666 About your manifesto... 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4667 I got her message. OK, she can have the dog! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4668 Yes, it's still on the market. But we might want to bump our offer a tad. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4669 Oh, the same old, same old in the office...how was your day? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4670 I'd like to place an order for someone to watch my back. How soon will that be delivered? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4671 I'm gonna need another copy of those divorce papers. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4672 So, you did get my love letter? ... Uh-huh ... Well thanks for letting me know you don't feel the same way. ... Goodbye. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4673 Yes I will sign the divorce agreement—where did you put it? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4674 I know that divorce papers can be hand-delivered, but this goes a bit beyond that... 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4675 911? I was just served divorce papers by a pirate. 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4676 No, I don’t know what it says. 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4677 Talk about being stabbed in the back by the fake media, right Mr. President? 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4678 Hey, Morti, about those separation papers I asked you to serve ... 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4679 It's not so much a death threat as a manifesto. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4680 Sorry, looks like I got “stuck “with this contract. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4681 Don’t expect any of these demands met until I see two mirrors. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4682 This is a weird way to celebrate the 500th anniversary of MARTIN Luther’s start of the Reformation. My name is neither Leo or Charles, and the note on my back has only 94 theses! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4683 Mr. Luther just stepped out for a few minutes, but he left you a message. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4684 I can't help but feel that I was stabbed in the back when the commission's report pinned the blame on me. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4685 Let's settle this thing now. I no longer have the spine for it. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4686 It wasn’t what she said in the letter, it’s that she stabbed me in the back. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4687 Hey, honey. They changed the terms of service on our protection plan. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4688 A true summons stabs you in the front. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4689 I had no idea Amazon Prime was so targeted. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4690 Yes, I'd like to report a Lutheran backstabber. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4691 Billing department, let me say I get your point, but... 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4692 Yes, I received Dorothy's divorce request. It felt as if I had been stabbed in the back. 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4693 The terms of the divorce are rather unpleasant. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4694 She can never divorce me so long as I keep avoiding the process server! 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4695 Yes deer, I have the grocery list this time. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4696 It's just a reminder of tonight's meeting. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4697 Hello 911? I've been attacked by Fake News! Send out a retraction! 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4698 What "to do" list? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4699 I'd like to speak with President Trump about my new tax bill 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4700 Yes Marjorie, I found the divorce papers you left me. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4701 Your counteroffer is certainly to the point. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4702 Yes, I noticed a stabbing pain in my back, or rather a stabbing notice in my back pain. 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4703 Can't you just leave my "honey-do" list on the table? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4704 I'm bleeding out and maybe have 4 minutes to live, tops. So, you've got to listen to me. Twin Peaks, man. It's not just weird for weird's sake. Seriously, give it a chance. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4705 No doctor, it just started this afternoon! 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4706 Hello, is this Mafia messages? 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4707 I'd like to report a reenactment of the posting of the ninety-five theses. 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4708 Are you sure you delivered the divorce papers? 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4709 Wittenburg was lovely. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4710 I'd like to downgrade my life insurance policy. Do you have anything with tape? 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4711 Please take me off your stabbing list. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4712 I found your note but I didn't read it... I assume you're not coming back, forgive the pun. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4713 It's a sharp pain in my back radiating toward my wallet 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4714 No...it's worse than that. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4715 Yes son, your homework is here where you left it and, no, I will not tell your teacher the dog ate it. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4716 It’s Wittenberg. Dr. Arthur Wittenberg. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4717 Yes, I'm sure she means it. No, I did not see it coming. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4718 Apparently, it's legalese for "Kick me!" 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4719 No, I'm alone. But funny, I feel like that the legal team is right here. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4720 Where is my will? 1.2000 0.08165 45 39 3 3
4721 I got your notes and I'm not amused. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4722 Yes I see you got my back. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4723 I’m afraid your process server seems to have a bit too much flair for the dramatic. 1.2000 0.06030 45 36 9 0
4724 Can you please just deliver my bills through the mail. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4725 Yeah, I just got the divorce papers, and I'm starting to think we the amicable route is off the table. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4726 It's about the advertised new use for the Ginsu knive. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4727 He said I make a better door than a window. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
4728 There must be something between this and a tattoo. 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4729 I’m afraid my pinned tweet’s not aging well 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4730 Apparently they have 95 grievances. 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4731 They lie in your face. All the time, they want to take your place... 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4732 Yes, I have a living will. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4733 Nope, I didn't see it coming either! 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4734 Look sis, it feels like you're trying to stab me in the back over Dad's will. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4735 Yes, I will get around to your resume, but I have to warn you, there are some at the firm who are big on people skills. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4736 I'd like to cancel my landline service, but I'm really stuck with this contract. 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4737 I'm gonna need your help to get the message out 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4738 I don't think this is the best way to get across I need to pay my medical bill. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4739 My wife is unhappy that I haven't finished her honey-do list. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4740 Wrong number 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4741 This draft was a little better. But your punctuation still needs work. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4742 Mike, "who would have thought that my wife is a backstabber?" 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4743 Is this about Bangkok, your sister or the Ponzi scheme? 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4744 Apparently, my wife wants a divorce. 1.1957 0.07997 46 40 3 3
4745 Yes, please. I'd like to make a harassment complaint. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4746 When I said "text me" I meant on SMS. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4747 I know the facts would eventually catch up to me but I thought Reality only bites. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4748 Flower shop? Here is Mr. Ceremonial. I have been stabbed in the back. I am looking at the photo of the jar of flower that you send to my wife funeral. Please send the exact same thing for my own funeral. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4749 May I please speak to the Summons department? 1.1957 0.05914 46 37 9 0
4750 911? I’m stuck! 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4751 Now that she signed the prenup, she is kind of pushing me to pick a wedding date. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4752 No. I don't think I misunderstood her. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4753 You'll find my manifesto attached to the body. 1.1957 0.05914 46 37 9 0
4754 Yes, she did leave a note. Will you come by and read it to me? 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4755 Yes, Mother, I would say it is a pretty clear sign that we are breaking up. 1.1957 0.05914 46 37 9 0
4756 McGraw, Tatum and Hill? This is Mr. Linklater. I'd like to amend my will... Yes, the clause referencing the portion of my estate that goes to Mrs. Linklater. 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4757 The cord on this phone is really inconvenient 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4758 Divorce papers came thru. Yes, I've signed them in blood. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4759 My script was rejected. 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4760 What do you want? The shirt off my back. It ain't gonna happen!! 1.1957 0.05914 46 37 9 0
4761 I can assure you those documents are very near to my heart 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4762 And then he went all Martin Luther on me... 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4763 I've got 95 problems but a thesis ain't one 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4764 I don't know. He had a weird look in his eye and said that Martin Luther made him do it. 1.1915 0.07222 47 40 5 2
4765 "yes Officer, what they did was they smiled in my face and said they wanted to take my place" and then they left a note! 1.1915 0.05801 47 38 9 0
4766 Yeah, I really do have to get rid of my landline. 1.1915 0.06550 47 39 7 1
4767 Oh hey, Larry. Nothing much-- just trying to get Carol to sign the divorce papers. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4768 Yeah, pin the bill on the donkey didn't go so well at the party. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4769 Luther has taken this 95 theses thing way too far. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4770 Please tell my wife I have feelings about her 'to-do' list. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
4771 The divorce papers are signed, but this wound may take some time to heal. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4772 No, I don’t know what it says. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4773 Yes, I got your note, No I won't forget to stop. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4774 We use to be friends. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4775 I'd be happy to start on the chores list if I could find it. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4776 Yes, it was my wife. She idolized Martin Luther. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4777 Et tu, Brute, or is this Martin Luther? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4778 But Honey, I've looked everywhere ... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4779 Did you get the honey-do list? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4780 Relax, I'll sign it in the morning. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4781 I refused to sign the divorce papers, but I have a feeling she left them behind. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4782 How am I supposed to sign the divorce papers if I can’t even reach ‘em? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4783 Margaret? I've forgotten where you put the grocery list. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4784 I’m calling about that job in the paper. My wife insists it’s perfect for me. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4785 Yes dear, I have the to-do list that you gave me. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4786 No, not with an F. Theses! T-H-E-S-E-S 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4787 Suffice it to say it's worse than a 'kick me' sticky. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4788 Hello Senator? I was just reading about the impact of the new tax legislation on our Medicare benefits and I'd like to share my thoughts... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4789 Yes Senator, I have received a copy of your new tax plan. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4790 I think someone's trying to send me a message. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4791 Yes, I feel betrayed. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4792 Honey, I can’t find the shopping list again. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4793 " Yes, I believe it was Guy Fawkes who put the post it on my back". 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4794 Hello 9-1-1? I think I'm about to start a reformation. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4795 I said that Martin Luther needs glasses!!! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4796 Honey, where did you say you stuck my life insurance policy? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4797 Yes dear. I'll add it to the list you gave me this morning. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4798 Where did you leave your note to me dear ? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4799 Yes, I'd like to cancel my sports package. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
4800 Yes, I get the point. This your final notice. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4801 Hello....Mr. Luther 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4802 They told me they weren’t sure they could fix the problem but they would definitely take a stab at it 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4803 If Marty had any grievances he’d tell me. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4804 Look, I'm sorry I tried to cancel my home phone and, no, I didn't read the Terms and Conditions. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4805 Thanks for verifying the vase painting was an original Monet. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4806 Honey....know you were mad at me this morning so where did you leave that honey do list? 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
4807 I have a pointed suggestion re your contact. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4808 Hello, I'd like to cancel my order for indulgences. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4809 Martin Luther came by today. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4810 I don't know, but he looked like Martin Luther. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4811 Gary, we need to start screening these ghost writers for poltergeists.... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4812 I'm sorry, I couldn't read the to-do list. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4813 Have you assigned a new mail carrier to my route? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4814 Hey honey. I can’t find my list of chores anywhere. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4815 The article really stabbed me in the back, Bob! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4816 Yep..it’s happened again. I know I need a better job but at least it’s less painful than re-tweeting all day. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4817 Honey, where did you put those divorce papers? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4818 Let's just say that negotiations are neatly complete. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4819 Well, I guess my wife was serious about signing our divorce papers. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4820 Hello, Vatican. I think we have a problem. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4821 I can't see, but I'm sensing it's bad news 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4822 ...Hello Pope Francis, tell that Luther guy that this thesis thing is getting a bit personal... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4823 I have first-hand knowledge that Trump's tax plan will do us in! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4824 I've received your final demand for payment. Do you do Pay Pal per chance? Ok .Lovely. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4825 Honey, do you know where our couples counseling contract is? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4826 The press is killer these days. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4827 I don't appreciate being stabbed in the back while being served. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4828 No! She’s refused to sign it! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4829 She said she'd write me about leaving, and I'd get the point 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4830 Hi honey. You forgot to give me the divorce papers to sign. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4831 I got stabbed in the back by McConnell's tax plan. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4832 I can't tell if you signed the divorce papers. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4833 Do you understand? No more deals behind my back! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4834 No, she didn't say anything, but I sensed she was unhappy from physical cues. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4835 I’ve been served in the back. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4836 Hello, is this the Martin Luther Door Company? I have a question about your bill. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4837 I thought breaking up in Latin was a classy way to end it. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4838 Apparently, her grievances were of an incisive nature. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4839 Is there a message? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4840 I've got good news and bad news. The good news? She finally signed the divorce papers. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4841 I misplaced your grievances. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4842 I prefer direct, blunt feedback. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4843 O.K. I'll switch to Geico. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4844 You know you could of just handed me the Divorce papers . 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4845 Why would the Republicans take away my health care to give the Koch Brothers a tax cut? 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
4846 Can you come over? Someone stuck a note on my back and I can't read it. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4847 Honey, where is the shopping list so that I can add "aspirin"? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4848 The alternative to ACA hasn't been passed yet? In that case, does my current plan cover pre-existing conditions caused by knives in the back? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4849 I didn't mind them so much just picking my pocket. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4850 I have the settlement offer from my ex wife… 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4851 Did you have to buy the kid a Martin Luther costume for Halloween? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4852 I guess they ran out of post it notes. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4853 That tweet you just sent really stab me in the back. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4854 W;hen they served me with a suboena, I thought they would hand it to me. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4855 Honey, I swear I understand why I need to be more patient with your mother... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4856 No, I didn't find the shopping list...are you sure you wrote one? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4857 It happened at church, I think it was Martin Luther 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4858 I can't remember where I left the list. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4859 I am calling to cancel my subscription. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4860 Someone mistook me for a church door. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4861 Helen, I lost our divorce papers again. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4862 Hun, where did you place my to do list? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4863 Sorry, Mr. Binkley, I didn't see the memo. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4864 No, I haven't had a chance to read the allegations, but I have a bad feeling about them. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4865 Okay, you win. I accept the TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF USE. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4866 He said his name was Martin Luther 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4867 I just finished doing my taxes. Can I take back my vote for Trump? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4868 Sorry to bother you at work, Brenda, but I can't remember where you left our divorce papers. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4869 The amicable approach isn’t working. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4870 I'd like a refund on the home acupuncture kit I ordered with Groupon. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4871 This diet of worms is getting to me 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4872 I thought the contract was specifically designed to prevent any backstabbing! 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4873 911? My wife just served me divorce papers... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4874 I'd like to take a stab at getting my job back! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4875 I'll call you back. My little Jeffrey wants me to proofread his homework. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4876 I preferred the simple check box for the "Terms of Service" agreement. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4877 Dammit. I told you to post it on Twitter. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4878 ... something about Luther and her lawyer, and then she left. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4879 Hi Honey, I noticed that you left me a "Honey Do List." What's on your mind exactly? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4880 Hi, I need a personal injury lawyer. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4881 Yes, I am sure. He said his name was Martin Luther. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4882 Luther's "Ninety-five Theses" has never felt so painful, Your Reverence. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4883 well, it's young Martin again .... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4884 I don’t know, he said something about his thesis? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4885 Now, as for the best way to remove the Care Tag... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4886 Never mind. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4887 My wife signed the divorce papers, but had a funny way of claiming I stabbed her in the back! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4888 I promise the Russians did not put me up to it. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4889 Your resignations are a stab in the back 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4890 Thank you for calling the Emergency Divorce Referal Hotline. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 911. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4891 I'd like to report another IRS scam 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4892 No, you're spineless. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4893 I lost my wife's shopping list again. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4894 She said she was defiling for divorce 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4895 I'm uncomfortable with the idea of alternative dispute resolution. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4896 I'd deliver my revised will to you but my only shirt has a hole in it. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4897 911?..Please send help! My tax bill is killing me! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4898 I can,t find the note you left me. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4899 .....she said something about Martin Luther and "Reforming " our marriage.... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4900 I need to use my health coverage but can't locate the paperwork. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4901 Yes, Carla, I got the summons, you could have mailed it. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4902 They're demanding I get the family I-phones. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4903 How can I forget? It's stuck in my back. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4904 Please remove me from your mailing list. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4905 And then, just to make a point......... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4906 I'd like to RSVP "Yes" to the wedding. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4907 After today, I will no longer be moderating the SATs. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4908 Hi, Mr. Reaper? I’ve received your eviction notice. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4909 I met Martin Luther today. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4910 How do I feel about the new tax bill? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4911 Your "Dear John" letter is a real stab in the back. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4912 So am I to take it that we're no longer pen pals? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4913 Honey, I'm going to be late. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4914 Yes, mother, the divorce is amicable. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4915 Pope Francis please, Father Mark, calling 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4916 Having a target on my back is a nonstarter. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4917 delivery? yes she put the list where I wouldn't forget. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4918 Your third and final notice? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4919 Yes, she served the divorce papers. Telling her I didn't want to be stuck in a loveless marriage might have been a poor choice of words. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4920 No, the Martin Luther from the Reformation and all that. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4921 Last thing I remember is joking about Lutheran's. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4922 So much for evading service of the summons and complaint 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4923 Seriously, John, I think you went too far with the settlement terms. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4924 Police? I need to report a crazed monk...he looked like he was 500 years old! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4925 It's not the break up letter as much as the stabbing pain. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4926 You promised to remind me to pick you up at your psychiatrist's. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4927 Here I was thinking all along her 'honey-do' list was about a melon. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4928 Hello, is this 9-1-1? I'm calling to say I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. What? No, no. Not that way. I feel like I've actually been stabbed in the back." 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4929 Hello, overdue accounts? I believe you left me a message. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4930 Then he said, "Let me take a stab at re-editing my script." 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4931 Customer service? Yes, 91 Theses? Sure, I got 'em right here. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4932 I dunno, seemed she said something 'bout The Reformation. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4933 I wanted a divorce. She wanted to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4934 My spidey sense is telling me that Barbara wants a divorce. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4935 911, we had an accident at our annual Reformation re-enactment. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4936 Ever been stabbed in the back by someone - who really wants to make it personal. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4937 Apparently, O.J. Simpson isn't enthusiastic about my first draft of his biography. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4938 IRS? ... I have a question about my tax refund... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4939 Sorry about the deadline, I'm having a bit of difficulty getting through this first read-through of the latest tax bill. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4940 When did electing for an idiot become a "Pre-Existing" condition? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4941 Hi Mom. Yeah, I got your message. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4942 I think I lost my pres ription from the back doctor! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4943 It’s the paperboy who’s having an affair with my wife. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4944 They're always complaining that I use too much legalese, but the fine print really did save me this time. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4945 My fault- told him I had his back 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4946 Yes. I tried looking over my shoulder at the mirror, but I can't read sdrawkcab. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4947 Sorry Brutus, your protagonist just wasn't believable. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4948 I'm a luddite but I think I just got a text message. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4949 He said this is what we get for cutting down the trees. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4950 I don't care if your message deliverer is Lutheran, I don't think this is appropriate. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4951 You're the one who told me to send send her the letter as return receipt! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4952 Okay, I'll pay the cable bill. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4953 Is this your idea of celebrating the 500th anniversary of Martin Luther? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4954 I was just served by Martin Luther's great great great great great great great grandson. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4955 Yes, mother, I remembered to call you without any reminders. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4956 Bad news, I'm afraid.The publisher has rather emphatically rejected my article. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4957 My attorney please, my wife's Manifesto has been hand delivered. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4958 I want to report a literary backstabbing. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4959 It's about your process of service person. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4960 Yes, Dear, cranberries are on my list. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4961 Hello, I understand that you lost a knife. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4962 Barbara, I told you, I haven't seen your "honey-do" list. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
4963 You should have posted 95 Hacking Theses online 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4964 It was a friend, I would never let my enemies get that close. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4965 Yes, dear, I did remember to stop at the supermarket. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4966 Martin Luther, he said his name was. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4967 My wife just pointed out the party of the first part. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
4968 She said it's the last time I'd forget the shopping list. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
4969 Tell me, does it say anything about who gets the dog or the kids? 1.1892 0.07591 37 31 5 1
4970 No honey, I didn't see the note you left. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
4971 I know doc, but my lawyer says it becomes a legally enforceable blood pact upon removal. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4972 Reverend Luther, my back is not a church door, thank you. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
4973 I can't play golf today. My wife gave me a few chores to do around the house. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4974 I told him Martin Luther pinned his Manifest to a church door, he missed the point. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
4975 Yes, that’s Wittenberg. W-i-t-t... 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4976 I feel it's one of the finer points holding up my thesis. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4977 Why would they fire me without any explanation? 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
4978 Yes, Middle Class Hotline? My copy of the Paradise Papers just arrived, and I didn't make the cut. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
4979 Hello 911 - I'd like to report a back stabber 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
4980 To think I trusted my landlord. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
4981 He said his name was Martin Luther. And plans on striking 94 more times. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
4982 I guess the old string on the finger wasn’t doing the job. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
4983 Yes, she just served me with divorce papers. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4984 I told you I'd have your back. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
4985 I have to tell you, Frank, Mary's honey-do lists are becoming a pain in the back. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4986 FYI - I hot your message. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4987 So, I can't get this Harvey Weinstein costume off of me. It seems like this is a "forever" thing. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
4988 Yes hello I’d like to speak to my representative. This tax reform is really stabbing me in the back. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4989 I can feel you very close 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4990 Yes dear, I received your message, but it was a little difficult to make out 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4991 This is another case of FAKE NEWS! You twisted everything I said and stabbed me in the back. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4992 Honey, where did you pin up the shopping list, I can't find it! 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
4993 Thank you for sending a reminder about our appointment. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4994 Have you texted me the grocery list yet? 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4995 Uh, yes, my ex-wife submitted her letter of recommendation. 1.1860 0.08323 43 38 2 3
4996 « They went behind my back to get me fired » 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
4997 Using caps and exclamation points would have equally conveyed your emphasis! 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
4998 Sorry honey, I looked everywhere but I can't the grocery list. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4999 Oh, the stabbing pain? Uh...well...mostly in the headlines. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5000 I've got some bad news. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5001 Ninety five theses have been nailed to my back, I really believe my wife wants me to reform. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5002 I'm calling to place a formal complaint on the manner in which I was served with divorce papers! 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5003 No, I had no idea that it meant National Bayonet Association! 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5004 Mr. Luther, Marty finally turned in his assignment, but I only asked for one thesis. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5005 She personally served the divorce papers. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5006 My wife found out I was backstabbing her. She got even. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5007 That's not exactly what I meant by you not having my back 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5008 No, I really can't get out of jury duty. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5009 Not exactly a manifesto. It feels more like a screed. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5010 Afraid I'll have to miss your showing; my To-Do list is a pain. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5011 I’d like to report a manifesto attack. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5012 You're the author. And I'm not feeling at all comfortable with your backstory. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5013 How many theses? Gosh, it feels like at least ninety-five. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5014 Okay, you win. I'll sign the divorce papers. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5015 I'd like to report an overly diambical sonneteer! 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5016 The worst thing about this is that it never should have left the office 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5017 Yes, I know you say you deliver with pin-point accuracy. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5018 Alice, As soon as I find the divorce papers, I'll sign them! 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5019 I have some back page news! 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5020 "Yes, that's when I found out it was a couple's costume party; he wanted me to be the door to his Martin Luther. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5021 Melania? It’s Donald. I fear I’ve been stabbed in the back by the Constitution again. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5022 No, she literally stabbed me in the back! 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5023 Mr. Zorro, this is a wrong number. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5024 Apparently, it's a Manifesto from my children and the new vacuum. Yes, It itches. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5025 911 I need some help reading my killer's note. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5026 We're having an issue assembling the FJÄLKINGE. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5027 Hello...is this the knife of the month club? 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5028 Where did you put the revised will? 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5029 Luther was here again and has some issues. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5030 I know it's still early in the game, but I think we should settle out of court ASAP. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5031 She RSVP'd to the divorce papers. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5032 "He was waving his reasons why he should get the promotion instead of me in my face, so I turned around to walk out. . . 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5033 I'd like to report an aggressive process server. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5034 It is not fair - I just talked to a 14 year old girl once 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5035 I'm calling my Congressman next about the new "Credit Collection Act". 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5036 Sorry to call somlate, but it's very important. Have you seen my will? 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5037 She's got more grievances than Martin Luther. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5038 Hello FTD 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5039 Hello? Yes, are you a multi-service law firm? 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5040 Martin? No, he just left. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5041 They call them "The 99 Leases". 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5042 Maybe a different delivery method for your free knives would be better. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5043 Actually, the divorce petition came as a surprise. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5044 Yes, you have my back. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5045 Mom, my students pinned a note to my back with my letter opener! You’re supposed to read it. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5046 Yep, at the half-millennium, she posted her own theses against my indulgences. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5047 What do you mean --- I'm fired? 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5048 I've got 95 problems and a Luther is one. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5049 I think father cut me out of the will. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5050 No, she didn't say when she was coming back... 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5051 As my attorney, I should let you know the list of demands just arrived from my backstabbing wife. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5052 I was standing in front of the church doors when this guy, Martin Luther ... 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5053 Yes, she gave me a reason. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5054 Honey, I’m having trouble signing the divorce papers. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5055 Yes, I was served with your complaint. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5056 I miss the days when Facebook used to have posts on on your wall. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5057 Well, the good news is the acupuncturist you found is cheap... 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5058 Yes, Jon Snow, the Lannisters have sent their reply. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5059 I've gotten your demands, but I'm a little behind. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5060 Yes, Mr. President. I do believe its safer than tweeting. But, I suggest we rethink our low bid delivery service. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5061 Yes dear, I'll remember to take the grocery list you posted to my back. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5062 Yes Ma'am, this is Les Church and I'd like to speak with Marty Luther. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5063 Yes, I did receive this year's tax bill. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5064 She broke it off with a note. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5065 I have their demands. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5066 I have a note from my wife explaining why I can't attend your bachelor party. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5067 And bring some tape too. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
5068 I have a feeling this will be a tough negotiation with my wife’s lawyer 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
5069 I don't think our children want to be Catholic anymore. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5070 The gold plan is less expensive than the silver plan? You're killing me here. 1.1860 0.06005 43 35 8 0
5071 It's from that employee, Luthor, who refuses to use email. 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
5072 What say we scratch Sunday’s sermon on Luther and go instead with the Beatitudes? 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5073 I can't find the to do list my wife left for me 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5074 Damn it Martin, I thought you said you were only posting at Wittenberg's Schlosskirche !!! 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5075 Yes, yes -- I got the point of your note. 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
5076 On the bright side, she thinks a reformation is still possible. 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5077 Mind if I call you back? I think someone's trying to get hold of me. 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
5078 Hello, Reformation? 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5079 Well, they didn't come right out and say "No"... 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5080 Hey, Dave. My kid's teacher assigned him Martin Luther's biography to read. I wouldn't recommend it for yours. 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5081 Officer, I'd like to file a missing persons report. I haven't seen my wife in a week. 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5082 I think people are talking behind my back. 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5083 I have a funny feeling my wife wants a divorce. 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
5084 E.R.? Marge posted her 95 theses again. 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5085 I have a stabbing sensation that your mother still has a bone to pick with me. 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
5086 I can't read it, but I think it's some kind of ultimatum from Margaret. 1.1818 0.07466 44 38 4 2
5087 Yes Dear, you did give me the divorce papers. 1.1818 0.08143 44 39 2 3
5088 Lutheran. Next question? 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
5089 This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to live in a Lutheran household. 1.1818 0.07466 44 38 4 2
5090 It's a painful story of betrayal. 1.1778 0.06582 45 38 6 1
5091 No I'm not upset with seeing your hotel policy on unruly customers. I'm just angry with how your damn employee delivered it. 1.1778 0.07309 45 39 4 2
5092 I'm calling in regards to my late mortgage payment. 1.1778 0.06582 45 38 6 1
5093 The feeling when you discover "hidden fees." 1.1778 0.07970 45 40 2 3
5094 I’ve received a few complaints, but nothing I can’t get a handle on. 1.1778 0.05764 45 37 8 0
5095 Where did you say you left the grocery list ? 1.1778 0.06582 45 38 6 1
5096 Yes, I got the ransom note. 1.1778 0.06582 45 38 6 1
5097 I understand that you want to move away from old-school home delivery but this is ridiculous. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5098 911 ? My wife just served me with divorce papers. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5099 I can't confirm as my calendar is not available. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5100 Urgent care? I'd like to make an appointment. My wife just delivered her own version of the 95 Theses. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5101 No, I didn't get that message. Could you email it to me? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5102 Yes dear, I understand the thrust of your divorce demands. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5103 I'd like to report an attempted office fracking. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5104 No, I wasn't aware of the pre-existing conditions. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5105 Darling, you know that petition on open-carry dagger laws? Did you put it someplace? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5106 No you heard me right, an expected Lutheran attack. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5107 You've made your point dear, but can you just call my lawyer next round? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5108 Existing account. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5109 I'm think she's serious about the divorce 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5110 Literally, your letter is a knife in my back. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5111 The knife thrower at the circus is also a process server. Guess how I found out. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5112 Et tu Franken? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5113 Hello Dear, have you seen your honey do list? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5114 Yes Sir! I am fully aware of the approaching deadline. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5115 Honey, where did you put the divorce paperwork. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5116 Listen, pal, everybody deserves a decent pay stub. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5117 The man you are having an affair with is also a process server ? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5118 I'd like to report a homicidal grocery list. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5119 She made a few cuts. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5120 Your message went through. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5121 Yes, 911. I think I have been served... 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5122 I'm really fine, doc. It just looks worse on paper. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5123 I've been subpoenaed. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5124 I need to transfer funds. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5125 Yes, Officer, I said Summon’s stabbed me in the back. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5126 I do think he's a backstabber but he's got an important agenda 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5127 Damn that Martin Luther anniversary. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5128 Yes, I did cancel my subscription early. No, I did not read the TOS 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5129 No officer, it’s literally a back stabbing. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5130 Do you remember where I left my to do list? 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5131 Oh yes, Gladys. But may I suggest that going through your divorce lawyer would have been a more adult way of getting your demands to me. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5132 Just calling to say your impale-mail arrived. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5133 No no, I think his name was Martin, yes, Martin Luther. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5134 Honey? Where did you leave the grocery list? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5135 I would describe it as something of a stabbing pain. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5136 I'd like to report a bug. I was posting to Pinterest and my iPhone changed my "I" to an A with a weird character and I felt a stabbing pain in my back. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5137 I sense a schism in my marriage.com 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5138 Honey, where did you leave my to do list? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5139 What final reminder note? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5140 It appears I'll be dining alone. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5141 You want my honest opinion? I really don't see your point. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5142 No, so far everyone's been completely loyal. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5143 I want to report a missed delivery. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5144 You left so quickly, did you say you wanted a horse or divorce? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5145 A protest is coming...I can feel it. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5146 He looks like Martin Luther and is obviously delusional. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5147 I thought she would just leave me a note, instead she stabbed me in the back... 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5148 I just got the news, and it’s not good. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5149 There is a deranged monk in my apartment who thinks he's Martin Luther. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5150 I got the point of your message 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5151 Helloouch!? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5152 We're still working on the terms of our divorce settlement.... 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5153 All she complained about was my not paying attention to her, so, no, I don't know why she left. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5154 I’d like to cancel that order for new golf clubs... 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5155 Aunt Sally’s Christmas letter? Yes, I just got mine. Full of the usual back-stabbing! 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5156 Hello, I'm calling about the "paperback" murder I ordered. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5157 He never forgot the grocery list again. He also never remarried. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5158 Hello Carl? Call the EMTs. I've been served. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5159 I may have 95 problems, but you're the only one I care about. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5160 Yeah, the new boss stabbed me in the back with a letter of termination. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5161 I’ll be late to the card game. Probably wise if I take care of a few things on Edith’s honey-do list. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5162 Yes, I'd like to report a heresy. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5163 Would you believe she ran out of Post-its ... 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5164 No, she served the divorce papers in person. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5165 Hello 911, I think my paperwork is killing me. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5166 I received the senator's response to my letter regarding net neutrality. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5167 Yes, literally 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5168 Hard to say, but she took a while getting to the point. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5169 Hi, yeah, so um, may need to make a few changes to OJ's contract 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5170 Yes, she did, and right on top of my "POST NO BILLS" leaflet to boot! 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5171 I felt there was some reason why I was supposed to phone you today. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5172 She says if I don't agree to all 95, we're going to split. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5173 List? What list? Guess she must have thrown it somewhere! 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5174 I thought she was just going to sign it! 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5175 It appears the hard cover up of the scandal didn't go so well, as the fake news paper back-stabbed him in retaliation. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5176 No. No, I didn't get the message. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5177 I'm afraid my wife is in a bit of a pique and has rather forcibly served me with divorce papers. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5178 The Lutherans are coming. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5179 I'm calling to complain about the bill delivery system. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5180 So you're telling me that my story didn't make tomorrow's front page? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5181 I don't see the point of bickering further. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5182 Excuse me. I think I just got an Instant Message. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5183 Well I don't know! How do I tell if it's amicable? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5184 Yes, I received the contract for the hit. When? About a minute ago. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5185 All I said was, "You're just better at shopping." 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5186 I need a good lawyer. My wife just decided to play pin-the-divorce-papers-on-her-husband’s back. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5187 It seems like a good deal, but I can’t read the small print. 1.1750 0.08688 40 36 1 3
5188 That's it. Your paper has stabbed me in the back for the last time. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5189 I think I got your message 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5190 Every day on my upper back. And most of it is spam. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5191 It’s not a total surprise, she did say our divorce papers will be delivered uniquely. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5192 I'd like to order a cold plate of revenge, for 2. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5193 "He's making a list and checking it twice" doesn't work with the kids anymore. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5194 Do me a favor. The next time you send a process server, don't use my ex-wife. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5195 Looking back, I shouldn’t have married an acupuncturist. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5196 Don’t you even know you’re supposed to mail a ‘Dear John’ letter? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5197 Honey, I promise to never forget the shopping list again. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5198 911, I want to report a back pain. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5199 keep it short. I have a death notice on my back. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5200 My backstabbing brother just served the divorce papers. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5201 Rule #1: Don't listen in on my phone calls, #2: Stop giving away the furniture, #3: Never under estimate the lengths..... 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5202 Yes, I will hold 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5203 There were some very fine people on both sides. 1.1750 0.08688 40 36 1 3
5204 My guess is there are 95 divorce demands. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5205 Lois, I told you to just leave a note to remind me. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5206 Tell him someone named Martin Luther left 95 messages. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5207 all I asked for was a simple postcard! 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5208 I've got 99 problems and Luther's Theses are all but four of them. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5209 If this is your idea of adding insult to injury, think again! 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5210 Back stabbing editorial 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5211 " a summons would have sufficed". 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5212 Yes, I can hold... 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5213 Who knew the preamble was so pointed. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5214 I have no idea what I’m supposed to remember, but I feel it. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5215 They're aren't kidding -- it really is sub poena. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5216 She's not quite there on the draft settlement. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5217 If you're calling to ask if pain and suffering related to the current tax bill is covered by Obamacare, press three. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5218 Sorry, gotta' go, have some pressing matters. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5219 You miss one jury summons…. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5220 My millennial students are getting more sensitive. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5221 She'll work here, but she has a few little requests. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5222 95, 96, who cares! I'm not a door!! 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5223 Yeah, my wife wanted to name the dog John Calvin but I insisted on Martin Luther 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5224 Right? I'll never miss anything ever again with the new facebook post alerts. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5225 Taxes really snuck up on me this year. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5226 I'm going to need you to send someone out to read this note for me. My wife told me this is the first draft of our separation agreement, and she thinks she's getting the house. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5227 Where did you put my copy of the divorce decree? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5228 Yeah, about that pre-nup you drew up... 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5229 This guy approaches me and says 'you've been served' but I can't read the notice. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5230 Yes, I've noticed changes since the beginning of Dr. Shapiro's couple therapy. Backache 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5231 There’s something I need 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5232 dear, where did you put the note I was to read. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5233 I am more of a front stabbing person. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5234 Are you trying to tell me you don't love me anymore? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5235 I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH YOUR LIST OF CHORES. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5236 In hindsight, signing the divorce papers would have been less painful. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5237 I just received my fourth notice, do you take credit cards over the phone? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5238 Yes, I’ve been served. She was always big on metaphor. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5239 Why, Angie? Why? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5240 Can I crash at your place? Apparently my wife got the divorce papers 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5241 Yes. I'm quite sure this divorce is final 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5242 A simple 'good-bye' would have sufficed, but oh no...she has that nasty way of over-dramatizing. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5243 I'd like to report a Martin Luther. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5244 Marge made it very clear, she won't sign the divorce agreement. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5245 Honey, where did you leave the shopping list for Christmas? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5246 She bedrudegly signed the pre-nup. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5247 Remember how I told you she vowed to really stick it to me? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5248 How do you expect me to read it I can't even reach it. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5249 They'll never be able to pin it on me! 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5250 This wallflower of the month subscription agreement is a killer! 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5251 If you're not happy, we're not happy. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5252 I can't believe what they're saying behind my back. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5253 I was just made painfully aware of the 400th anniversary of Luther's 95 Theses. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5254 I have a bad feeling about this contract. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5255 With this new group of hirees, customer service complaints have gone down significantly. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5256 I believe it was Martin Luther. I was standing by the door of the church. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5257 How about I waive service of process and you can just mail the papers to me? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5258 I just got the memo. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5259 Yes sir, point well taken! 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5260 I'd like to report a Lutheran. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5261 I am dying to see the bill. Where did you keep it? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5262 I'd like to report a Reformation, please. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5263 It's all in legalese, except for the knife. That's hers all the way. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5264 911? I'm a Republican and I have a target on my back. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5265 He said he’d be right back. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5266 You could've just as easily told me how you felt about my ending our affair to my face, without having to go behind my back! 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5267 First she sent me a "Dear John " letter; then she stabbed me in the back. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5268 Hi Mom, I’m calling to let you know my final divorce papers were just delivered. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5269 No Margaret, you can not act as your own process server. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5270 It just started suddenly at work this morning. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5271 Good news sweetheart, they published my review. 1.1750 0.08688 40 36 1 3
5272 No, I can't read to you over the phone. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5273 I'm sick of them taking my ideas and stabbing me in the back with them. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5274 My dramatic acting coach went a “little” bit over when I forgot my lines in class to today. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5275 Honey, have you seen our prenup? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5276 OK operator. I took a stab at finding the number myself. Now what? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5277 You call this way subtle to deliver a termination letter ? 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5278 I tell you, we have to get rid of that super. He's losing his eyesight. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5279 I'd like to schedule an appointment for marriage counselor please! 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5280 Yeah, so Trump called me "fake news" 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5281 I can't. I'm stuck with a 'to do' list that's breaking my heart. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5282 Can you leave a sticky note next time? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5283 Mother, this time she's given me a honey-do-list-or-else list. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5284 Hello, is this the nanny placement agency? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5285 I am sure it is here somewhere. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5286 I still don't know why she left. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5287 She said she was just trying to drive home the point of her frustration with me. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5288 Just want you to know I received your backstabbing letter. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5289 Look Mack I will only sign a cable contract over my dead body. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5290 I took a stab writing a paperback. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5291 No the chiropractor you recommended was fine, right up to her bill. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5292 I would like to report an actual backstabbing. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5293 No, I didn't find your note. Where did you leave it? 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5294 Hello, IRS? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5295 The infinite monkeys never had to deal with Windows updates. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5296 Yes, I did receive a copy of the proposed tax plan, thank you. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5297 Yes ... I'd like to report a 'difference of political opinion' crime. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5298 Sorry, counselor, I can't find our divorce papers anywhere. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5299 Well, she came up with 95 theses of her own. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5300 Is this the Reformation Marriage Center? 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5301 I think her therapist told her she needed to be more assertive. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5302 I do want to settle, but her invective demands are very painful! 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5303 You didn't indicate, but I'll take your RSVP as a "No". 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5304 Indulge me. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5305 No, nothing much new. Why do you ask? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5306 Yes officer, my wife called me a money grubbing hypocrite and lodged 95 theses in my spine. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5307 I think he meant business. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5308 My landline contract? Yes, I have it here. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5309 I get the feeling there's a lot of disagreement going on behind my back. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5310 May I take a message? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5311 My wife is missing. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5312 Yes, Dear, I found the honey do list. How considerate of you to write it backwards this time. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5313 Yup. Just got the divorce papers. Better than I thought, actually. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5314 I've got 95 theses, Luther, but being a church door isn't one of them! 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5315 I’m having trouble reading it, but I think it’s her 95 Theses for divorce. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5316 This is Ed Luther. My wife, Martina, has posted divorce papers. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5317 I believe she served it personally. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5318 I want to report a missing document. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5319 Cancel my subscription, your paper it too edgy and it’s killing me. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5320 I've been losing losing some support at home recently 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5321 My wife finished her thesis. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5322 I guess you're serious about the divorce. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5323 Did you want that list done today? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5324 Can I change my subscription to digital? Home delivery isn't working for me. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5325 If you didn't like the offer, a simple "No" would have sufficed. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5326 Yes, they approved the legislation through the back channels 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5327 I can’t read what it says, Officer, but it doesn’t feel like a love letter! 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5328 'I'm not too sure but I think she just filed for divorce.' 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5329 Hold on, I’ll get her. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5330 Hello Equifax? I believe your actions have stabbed me in the back! 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5331 Are you sure it’s a love note.. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5332 Yeah, you can tell Father Luther, I got his text. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5333 Making a list, checking it twice, going to find out whose naughty and nice. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5334 Send help--my wife just completed her to-do list. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5335 Come on, Beverly. It was the '80s. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5336 I guess it was a mistake to think she'd be okay with signing a prenup. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5337 You left me a sharp goodbye note with a cutting remark? Why and where? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5338 Let my back get to you on that. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5339 It feels like a stabbing pain between my shoulders. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5340 Yes dear, I do take your concerns seriously. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5341 What! Divorce papers? Where did you put them again? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5342 Are your refrigerators still on sale? 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5343 I just wish you'd give me my to-do list in a friendlier manner. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5344 Yes that's what I'm telling you, this manuscript rejection really is the unkindest cut of all. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5345 Hello wifey, did you see my to-do list? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5346 Good news! She signed the divorce papers. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5347 Sorry, I can't make it. My wife just gave me my 'Honey-Do' list. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5348 Yes, I thought counseling through our Lutheran church was a good idea until Linda was inspired to post her 95 theses about our marriage. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5349 So.....my editor didn't like my article. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5350 You're leaving me? Why? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5351 You are currently number 7 in line. Your call will be answered in approximately 43 minutes. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5352 It’s my Wittenberg shirt. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5353 Yes, I feel a bit like stabbed in the back when she just now served me the divorce papers 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5354 I said, where are the divorce papers that my lawyer sent you? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5355 I was just saying I thought your terms for the divorce were a little harsh, honey. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5356 I don't think you got all of the pins out of the new shirt you just gave me for our anniversary. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5357 Yes, I've double-checked the filing cabinet. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5358 Apparently, my team’s Theses95Complaints.doc went into my junk mail folder, so they found a workaround. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5359 It’s okay. I just need someone to read it. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5360 No. No need to rush. Please send the rest of the documents by regular mail. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5361 Hi I just back from seeing my ex at her attorneys office. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5362 No, her complaints are very pointed. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5363 Yeah, I got your point but what's the problem with just texting a Dear John Letter? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5364 Actually I'm sort of tied up right now. I'm trying to access a list of divorce demands my wife has sent to me via knife delivery service. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5365 Maybe taking away her phone wasn't such a good idea. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5366 Yes, I did receive your letter, but I haven't read it yet. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5367 I know you said you would put the paper work where I would remember. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5368 Of course not. The 'stole my heart' is not the literal part. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5369 Republican Senators are starting to play hardball with their Tax Bill demands 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5370 Operator, I've been cut off. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5371 Honey, did you sign our divorce papers yet? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5372 Maybe it went to my spam folder. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5373 I'm having trouble reading my hospital bill. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5374 I have an aching feeling that the pre-nup was a bad idea. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5375 My wife just served me with divorce papers. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5376 I need to report a stabbing on my to do list. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5377 No,I've got a lot on my plate just now. I'll read it when I get a chance. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5378 I dozed off, so I never got your message. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5379 I asked her if we could come to terms. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5380 How can I adhere to 'Terms and Conditions' I can't read? 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5381 You're calling for Mr. Martin Luther? I'm afraid he isn't here right now. May I take a message? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5382 That's right, Honey, just returned from my time travels to 1517; appears I had a dust-up with a radical cleric. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5383 I think she may want a divorce. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5384 You could be right, - but I doubt it ws Martin Luther. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5385 I'd like to report a doctrinal dispute with my brother, Martin. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5386 I only asked who was getting custody of the dog. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5387 Hello?, cable company, about my latest bill... 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5388 You know, I think Jane might be taking this whole Protestant conversion a little to the extreme. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5389 You've finally convinced me. I would like to sign up for e-delivery of your correspondence. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
5390 And then she hired some ruffian to serve me papers. You know, it really feels like I was . . . thrown under the bus. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
5391 How should I know if the blade is surgical grade steel! No, I haven't had a tetanus shot. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
5392 Hello, 911? I forgot to put a cover page on my TPS report again. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5393 I may have stumbled on to some more of Hillary's emails Director Comey. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5394 I get the feeling your wife didn't really want to share the recipe . 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5395 "I RECEIVED THE DIVORCE PAPERS FROM YOUR ATTORNEY .... YOU WIN. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5396 Yes, Mother, I got your note. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5397 I wear my heart on my sleeve, but my bills on my back. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5398 Sorry, I can't find my to-do list. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5399 Hello. I'd like to speak to my lawyer about my prenup. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5400 911? Could you come over? I have this pain in my back... 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5401 One of our steak knives seem to be missing dear! 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5402 Did you say, 'Martin Luther Syndrome?' 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5403 Does curfew constitute abuse of power? 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5404 I thought you told me you paid the cable bill. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5405 Hello, I'd like to order a mirror... make that two. And, do you have same day deliver? 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5406 ‘I see, since this is a black and white caption, ‘I won’t be able to tell that the slip is pink?’ 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5407 Can you come right away? I've been stabbed in the back by a Reform Protestant. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5408 He'd never throw me under the bus! We're the best of friends.... 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5409 Orange juice and avocados? I'll have to make a second list. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5410 Collection service?, Yes, I did get your notice. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5411 I reject your offer. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5412 Honey, where did you put that To-Do list you keep complaining about? 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5413 I'd like to report an attack on my Constitution. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5414 The pink slip finally arrived. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5415 Could you explain "bucket list" again? 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5416 The note you left? About how your back taxes were killing you? 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5417 Honey I 'm feeling that knife in the back sensation again could you tell me again what's wrong? 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5418 I have the sense Cynthia may have found our letters. 1.1707 0.08484 41 37 1 3
5419 They weren't kidding when they said a divorce notice is like being stabbed in the back... 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5420 Legally, can she do that? 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5421 Help, my kids' wish list is literally killing me. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5422 No....no....other. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5423 We want to cancel our account, we've found a much cheaper way of communicating. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5424 I don't think I can keep this chain letter going. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5425 And my wife says not to forget the milk. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5426 Yes I got your notice, Godfather. But, might I suggest less extreme methods of service? 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5427 I'm calling about your ransomwear. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5428 I've got an uncanny feeling someone's trying to tell me something. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5429 He was dressed like a monk and called himself Martin Luther. And then he said "you make a better door than you do a window." 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5430 How that damned Luther could confuse me with a church door.....I'll never know! 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5431 Most of the backstabbing in our office takes place in the copy machine room 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5432 Welcome to Caesar Electric, how may I help you? 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5433 Yes. Please. Tonite. One adult. No smoking. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5434 Sharon, my marriage annulment offer my attorney sent you, have you seen it? 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5435 No, I didn't get your note. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5436 Yeah! A pink slip is attached to it. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5437 Good news. Looks like I've got a back-up offer. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5438 To be honest doctor, your suggestion she journal her feelings has turned a dark corner. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5439 ok, I'll admit I didn't read the fine print. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5440 You are supposed to tape it to my forehead! 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5441 Voter registration has gotten a little out of hand. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5442 I got served at the office. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5443 Yes, a black hoodie, goes by the name, Luther. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5444 Honey, where did you leave the shopping list? 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5445 You want me to read it back to you? 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5446 He said he wanted his 95 theses to hit home. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5447 My wife gave me a list of all the chores I'm supposed to do but I can't seem to find it. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5448 She ‘s left, but I don’t know exactly why. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5449 Thank you again. This is much more to the point. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5450 ...I know, I know. Please, Helen, where's the list? 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5451 Yes, I received your statement. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5452 OK I get the point, I will call the exterminator!! 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5453 No I'm seriosu come quick. i need your help 911. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5454 Hello I'm calling for the witness protection program. I'm going to need a new name. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5455 Helen, have you seen my "TO DO" list? 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5456 Its too painful to forget 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5457 Honey, do you know where I left my glasses? 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5458 Don't worry, the fine print in the contract will get them. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5459 Yes, honey, I still have the grocery list. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5460 Your request for a divorce is like a knife in my back. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5461 Honey, I've been trying to get hold of you. Did you fix my appointment with the doctor? 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5462 Good News! We can move ahead with the annulment. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5463 What do you mean I'm insensitive! If I received the notice I would have called you!! 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5464 Your to late, I have already been served. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5465 NYPD? I believe I have found your most wanted fugitive just outside our church; calls himself Martin Luther. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5466 Hello? Yes. Well, it’s about your bill collection service’s methods. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5467 Put it this way, he makes a sharper point than some reflex tweeting whiner. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5468 Of course I got the point of your memo! 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5469 No, Senator. I don’t see your name on the “Creep List”. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5470 By writing backwards I would read your complaints in bathroom mirror. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5471 I'm well aware I've been targeted. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5472 I got your prenup. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5473 911? A couple of things. First, why do I still have a land line? 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5474 What did the knife look like? 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5475 I've received my new insurance policy and I'd like to file a claim. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5476 Yes, doc, my back pain is rather sharp. I 'll come in after I find the grocery list that my left for me somewhere around here. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5477 She literally stabbed me in the back with divorce papers. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5478 No, I didn't get past the process server. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5479 Can't make it for dinner, Kislyak. Mueller's team has a list of things they want to discuss. The focus is getting sharper. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5480 Well, he did have a point, but for the life of me I couldn't tell you what it was. 1.1707 0.05949 41 34 7 0
5481 Pastor Carl? My wife told me about your sermon on the Reformation, which really hit home with me. 1.1707 0.07732 41 36 3 2
5482 I would like to stop looking back on this divorce. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5483 I told my lawyer she's a back stabber. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5484 Sorry, again I can't find your shopping list. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5485 I wish he used a post-it. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5486 911? I need help reading a good-bye note. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5487 Christie's assures me it is Salvator Mundi 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5488 Please connect me to the Vatican. Martin Luther's ghost is back. 1.1667 0.07557 42 37 3 2
5489 Your lawyer served me with the papers Dear , are you sure you don't want to reconsider ? 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5490 Hey Marty...your marketing plan for the Reformation is lousy. Hove you considered the door of that church over in Wittenberg? 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5491 Yes, room service. My wife has just left me, she took my mistress also. And, she called me a backstabbing and cheating lawyer. Huh! 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5492 I woke up with an incredible back ache and can't really talk now. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5493 It's a millennial threat--I had to take a selfie in the mirror to read it. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5494 No, Doctor, I was not searching Google. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5495 Martin? He left a few minutes ago. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5496 I just discovered a new way to show you that our brother-in-law really does need eyeglasses! 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5497 OK Elliot, I finally got your point. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5498 Father Martin attended urgent matters this morning and asked if I would deliver his message personally. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5499 I think I found the list. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5500 "No officer" he said " theses not feces". 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5501 It just arrived. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5502 We both fooled around behind the other's back. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5503 I'd like a number of a Doctor that specializes in odd circumstances. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5504 Yes, you cured my bursitis, but the bill is ridiculous. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5505 So, we're playing Charades, and my wife wants me to say '500th Anniversary of the Reformation.' 1.1667 0.07557 42 37 3 2
5506 Honey, I can't find my " to do list " 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5507 Strangers keep kicking me, and then pinching me, cursing at me, wet-willying me, tut-tutting at me, giving me wedgies, blowing raspberries... Now that you mention it, Doc, I do feel a little twinge there, yes. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5508 Yeah, Martin’s at it again... 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5509 I know “stabbed in the back” is a harsh phrase but this is some contract. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5510 Why yes I have several times, but never with an explanation. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5511 I understand I was told to watch my back... 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5512 Of course my information is reliable - I have a back-channel source. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5513 Duck not worry, ya’ll are smarter than Donald Trump. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5514 Hello, Madge? Where did you put my to-do list? 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5515 Yes, hello, doctor? I feel like the news is trying to kill me. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5516 I'd like to shelve the pre-nup, Larry. There were quite a few parts that she wanted cut and I really don't want lengthy negotiations. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5517 My publisher had some concerns. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5518 I was told your a tough negotiator. I'll accept your final offer. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5519 At work today, somone mistook me for a poster boy. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5520 Sorry but this is not a good time to talk! 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5521 Mom, Shelby left me and the back-stabber ran off with my papers. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5522 I'm guessing that my bucket was on her list. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5523 I'm pretty sure it was The Media. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5524 Madge? She just left. I'll tell her. I can take a message. She left a note. When will she be back? I'm not sure. Not for a while. 1.1667 0.07557 42 37 3 2
5525 Well, as Pete Seeger said 'education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.' 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5526 I took your advice, now I never have trouble remembering. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5527 Yes, I did receive a copy of Trump's tax reform plan. 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5528 I lost her on the prenup…and looking back, she never really wanted the wedding at Walmart. 1.1667 0.07557 42 37 3 2
5529 Hello? Berlin Library? That "95 Theses of Martin Luther" exhibit you reported missing? 1.1667 0.06745 42 36 5 1
5530 But you didn’t put it in the online calendar. 1.1667 0.07557 42 37 3 2
5531 I think I’m getting a cold. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5532 Of course I trust you. 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5533 Yes, yes I did find the divorce petition you left me. 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5534 I just got served divorce papers. I feel like she stabbed me in the back. 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5535 She’s protesting my indulgences. 1.1628 0.07389 43 38 3 2
5536 Um.... she stepped out for a minute. 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5537 Couldn’t your lawyer have just emailed it?! 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5538 My ex-wife has posted her 99 Theses, but I can't read them. 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5539 I know you told me to read it but I forgot where you put it. 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5540 No! I didn't receive your E-Mail! 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5541 She seems to have a long list of reasons to want me dead. Please send that ambulance quickly. 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5542 Don’t worry. Martin Luther has my back. 1.1628 0.05696 43 36 7 0
5543 I’d like to speak to someone about your privacy notice. 1.1628 0.05696 43 36 7 0
5544 I would have preferred it in an email, but thanks for getting my new health insurance policy to me. 1.1628 0.07389 43 38 3 2
5545 I want to file a complaint on my ex-lawyer, Marcus Brutus. 1.1628 0.05696 43 36 7 0
5546 She's been saying I don't pay enough attention to her so she packed up and left before dawn. No, I haven't seen a note. 1.1628 0.07389 43 38 3 2
5547 Hello? If I have been stabbed in the back with my life insurance, can I be a guest on "Dateline?" 1.1628 0.05696 43 36 7 0
5548 I feel like they stabbed me in the back. 1.1613 0.08161 31 27 3 1
5549 Yeah, I got the contract on my piece. 1.1591 0.05578 44 37 7 0
5550 Got your point. I'll sign the decree. 1.1591 0.06456 44 38 5 1
5551 When I was a paperboy, I would have been THRILLED to get an extra dollar, during the holidays. 1.1591 0.07229 44 39 3 2
5552 Yeh. I got a to-do list too. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5553 First, I'm on the"No Call Registry". Second, I am telling you person-to-robot that I resist your high-pressure sales model. I will be sticking with my landline. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5554 It feels like I’ve been hit with a subpoena. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5555 Where's my thesis? Is it you? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5556 No, I haven't had a chance to review the terms of the divorce papers I was recently served with. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5557 Yes, their service has been fine so far but their contract really sticks it to you. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5558 Counselor, I have just received my wife's list of grievances. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5559 I'm stuck with the mortgage. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5560 They posted my new assignment. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5561 I still can't figure out why people keep kicking me. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5562 Hello Xfinity., am I out of contract yet? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5563 Hi, I'd like to cancel my subscription to The New Yorker... 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5564 Yes dear, I have the shopping list. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5565 I don't understand how you attached the preexisting condition paperwork while it was still in midair. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5566 I have a feeling she's getting ready to accuse me of grabbing her by the yearbook. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5567 I’d love to play poker but my wife’s made a real point about the shipping list. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5568 Yes, the divorce papers were served a little while ago. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5569 Poor cartoon but add this to the Lincoln cartoon. "...Ahem!" after the first line and "Mmmm that's good...think I'll go with the short version this time." next to the third picture. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5570 My wife's lawyer just delivered the divorce papers 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5571 We'll accept the policy and all exclusions for ill health. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5572 Your Last Acupuncture Worked So Well, I Do Have Another Pinched Nerve. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5573 Yes kids, as of today, it's back to the old landline! 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5574 It wasn’t exactly a good-bye note…she calls it her 95 theses on how I expected her to indulge me. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5575 He rejected the terms of the contract a tad aggressively. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5576 The health section of today’s paper does an excellent job explaining back pain. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5577 Yes Sir, I got the memo. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5578 It's better to use double sticky tape. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5579 She just stepped out 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5580 Yes, I KNOW my name is Martin Luther but...... 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5581 There is a cutting back story. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5582 No I'm not calling because I'm upset . I know business is business . 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5583 Attorney McStabby, please. Yes, I will hold. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5584 Yea, my wife said she'd "kill me" if I didn't run her errands today. I think she's serious. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5585 Hi, I'd like to order some take-out. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5586 You think you're back hurts? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5587 Police? I’d like to report a missing knife. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5588 My wife just served me divorce papers. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5589 I don't think the neighbors like our proposal. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5590 I can’t seem to find my divorce papers, my wife said she pinned them up somewhere... 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5591 Hello, Did you just send me a back dated eviction notice? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5592 I can't find your note dear. Is that an airport PA system I hear? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5593 I can't find the honey-do list. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5594 Tina really stabbed me in the back with these divorce papers. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5595 I'm going to have to call you BACK! 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5596 APPARENTLY, YOUR CLIENT, (MY FUTURE WIFE) WISHES TO RENEGOTIATE OUR PRE - NUP!!! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5597 Do you speak German? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5598 What makes you think I will remember where your list of demands are if I just sit down in the high back chair? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5599 It seems he has a list of demands. Yes, he had a German accent. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5600 Give me a momwnt, I've got to find my notes! 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5601 No, I cannot see what it says. She took the mobile phone too. Her only comment was that I should come with a manual. I figure it’s last week’s honey-do list, a Dear John letter, my insurance note, or that manual. Can you hurry? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5602 Yeah, hon? Where did you leave that to-do list again? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5603 I feel that the Twitter trolls are taking their game to a new level. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5604 The O'Jays were right. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5605 I read what I could in a double mirror. Your prose is still impenetrable. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5606 Yes, I got your point that I need to sign the divorce papers. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5607 After the Experian hack we stopped using email. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5608 She definitely wants a divorce. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5609 If you can eliminate line item 3 then I can live with it. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5610 Doctor, I have a stabbing pain in my back. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5611 I’ve been indicted. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5612 911? I have been struck by a poem. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5613 really, this reminder wasn't necessary, I never forget your alimony. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5614 outch 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5615 The divorce papers were delivered 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5616 She didn't have the sense to put a stamp on it and mail it! 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5617 I would call it a nagging backache. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5618 All right! I will check the agree button. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5619 Hello, NSA? When you say "we have America's back", what exactly do you mean? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5620 I received your statement of betrayal, but I'm having trouble reading it. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5621 Remind me what was on the second page again. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5622 I'll get back to you as soon as my wife steps in; I seemed to have misplaced the papers 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5623 It was a bloody divorce. She really stuck it to me. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5624 The boss had my back all right 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5625 He said he was Martin Luther and that he had a few suggestions. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5626 it looks dope, but how do I change my shirt without dying? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5627 Hello, police? I'd like to report a murder. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5628 I think they're serious about the 'no wall hangings' clause. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5629 Mom, she never talked about a list of grievances. She just said I was insensitive and had no real feelings for her. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5630 Hello, I need to report a very bias pollster. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5631 What can I say? She hired an aggressive process server 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5632 On the bright side, he gave me a insurance policy to go with it. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5633 Look, Barbara, I only paid for the one indulgence . . . 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5634 She says I'm too indulgent. I think she's too demanding. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5635 I would like to report a crime. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5636 No, I haven’t read the note yet, let me call you back. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5637 Waiting for my call to be answered could be terminal ! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5638 I'll call you back. I can't reach the knife. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5639 Yes, this an emergency. Luther, yes, Luther is my name. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5640 911? Please send someone who can read cursive. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5641 Yes, I'm reverting to analog communications. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5642 I'm telling you that is not how you post it on e-bay! 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5643 Yes, Honey, he's here". " Yes, he does seem to have a few questions about the contract. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5644 Doctor- May I have an appointment for tomorrow? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5645 Note to self, send more flowers 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5646 As if stabbing me in the pack wasn’t painful enough, she also served me with divorce papers. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5647 yeah honey, the new job as a tack board is great 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5648 As expected, I got served with the divorce papers today. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5649 I'd like to speak with the acupuncturist. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5650 I haven’t gotten your message yet... 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5651 I've looked everywhere, and I can't find the document. I've got a feeling it's nearby, but I just can't put my finger on it. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5652 You remember when you told me to expect an eviction notice? I guess I didn't take the warning seriously enough. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5653 Yes, I'd like to report a homicide note...no, I can't hold 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5654 Sorry, I'm not interested in reformation. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5655 Have you seen the mail since our fight Honey? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5656 I'd consider the demands your man delivered, but I haven't been able to read them. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5657 I don't know where she went. She said she left a note, but I haven't seen anything. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5658 Hello 911? I’ve been stabbed! Also, I’ve lost my wife’s “to-do” list. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5659 Hey, uh, I think the flower picture is fake. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5660 . . . and I think it's a ransom note from my chiropractor. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5661 There is no red to remind me that I have a lot to do. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5662 She delivered the divorce papers today but I haven't been able to read them yet. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5663 This policy is all coverage, no protection. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5664 Wait, what do you mean, 'early termination fee'? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5665 That man was such a backstabber. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5666 Can I call you back Betty? My Father-In-Law just served me with divorce papers. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5667 Who’s rigid and thick skinned? And what did you do with my house rules and favorite knife? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5668 OK Dear, can we cut through the paperwork I’ll sign the divorce papers 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5669 I’d like to report a totally unwarranted back-stabbing. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5670 I seem to have misplaced my student loans. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5671 Sorry I have to hang up, my phone bill is a stab in the back. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5672 She found out she was related to Luther on Ancestry.com 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5673 Hello, 911. They've posted their theses online and now on my back; yes, they're disputing our abuses and indulgences of power. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5674 I'm calling to report a stabbing. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5675 Yes..... I'm responding to the message you left earlier........ ? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5676 But... unlimited data. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5677 Oh. I thought I just needed to dial M. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5678 Cable company? There somthing wrong with my TV’s 3-D feature. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5679 I thought I told you to send the suggestions by email! 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5680 I wanted to put it behind me. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5681 Me? Roughly the size of a chapel door. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5682 It was 5:30 in the morning and you had rambled on for eighteen pages--FRONT AND BACK! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5683 Instead, couldn't you just have texted and/or emailed me? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5684 Mom, I think I was just served with divorce papers. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5685 At least Martin Luther nailed his demands to an inanimate object. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5686 No, I'm not Catholic, so it doesn't really hurt. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5687 Sorry sweetheart, but I can't find your honey-do list anywhere. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5688 Yes. Passion rekindled. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5689 Honey, I realize I won't lose it this way, but I can't read it. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5690 Hey, I know you got my back... but, don't you think I'd know if I was served a subpoena?! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5691 Hey, Joe. My wife left a note pinned to my shirt but I can't read it. Can you come over and read it for me? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5692 The only problems is that it's written in red ink. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5693 That's right, officer. Her name is Martina Luther. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5694 They said, "This is my last chance to sign for the 'extended warranty'!" 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5695 It's feels like she literally took a page out of the book on back-stabbing. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5696 Sorry to bother you at work, dear, but where did you put today's paper? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5697 Mandrake the Knife Thrower rejected our latest offer. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5698 No, Walter, I won't review your exam again. The grades have already been posted. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5699 She said she'd watch my back. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5700 I'm got a little behind with my To-Do List. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5701 Enough said, I'm not talking any longer. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5702 Yes, I got your urgent message 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5703 I'm calling to make an appointment for back pain. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5704 No, I haven't seen today's headlines. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5705 How am I supposed to read your to-do list? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5706 Hello, 911 Emergency Services? A sharp bowie knife is sticking multiple "to-do" lists into my backbone! Please come quickly! 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5707 Mr. Grunwald, I brought your report on office politics to read at home. I want to see you in my office first thing tomorrow. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5708 Martin...can we talk about the indulgences? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5709 Then she yelled, "This Reformation starts now!" and ran out the door. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5710 No, 'sticking point is a stab in the back' is not a metaphor. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5711 Are you saying I really can't miss where the shopping list is? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5712 Honey, that life insurance salesman finally got me! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5713 The wireless bill arrived. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5714 I can't find the divorce papers anywhere. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5715 I'm sorry, I've stopped taking messages, period. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5716 She served the divorce papers in the way I expected. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5717 Wait until you read my revised will. It's a backstabber. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5718 Yes I do feel like cable company is stabbing me in the back. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5719 I criticized her art and she let me have it with a list of complaints. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5720 No, I haven't had a chance to read through it all - but I gather this is the end. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5721 No, no, my fault, and yes, I did get your final demand letter 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5722 She delivered her terms. There are a few sticking points. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5723 Does it count if they serve the subpoena behind my back? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5724 ... 95 reasons I hate you. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5725 I'm telling you, Linda, it's not safe...someone put a contract out on me. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5726 Margie come home!! Bobby's homework is to emulate Martin Luther and he's gotten carried away! 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5727 He said his name was Luther and he forgot his glasses. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5728 Room service? Can you send up a different Bible? My wife's taking this Reformist version a little too literally. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5729 I'm just calling to let you know that I got your message ... 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5730 You know that prenup you helped me write? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5731 I'll get BACK to you about the list. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5732 I would like to cancel my subscription.... Yes... I’ll hold. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5733 No, I'm sorry, she just went out. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5734 In the future, this message will be a nasty tweet to my smartphone. But for now, this will have to do. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5735 The coop board's demands are going to kill this deal. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5736 Police?, My wife has disappeared and I need an ambulance. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5737 That is NOT how you text someone, Johnson! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5738 I've got a backlog of things I'm dealing with. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5739 May I speak to a living person? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5740 Why yes, I am Lutheran, but what's that got to do with it? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5741 No, he really insisted it was a non-disclosure contract! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5742 Can't make poker tonight, Phil. Jean's pretty serious about taking a stab at whittling down the "To-Do" list. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5743 I just feel like my credit report just stabbed me in the back. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5744 Apparently one of my coworkers fancies himself a swashbuckler! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5745 It's death by a thousand, but it's been folded into one stab in the back. So it's a lot worse than it looks. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5746 Did you get my note? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5747 Mom? It looks like Dad was right? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5748 Yes I got your note and understand you are very angry and not coming back! 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5749 It's about our delivery boy. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5750 I say, Old Man, save the bloody work memos for the office! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5751 How did your ex-wife deliver her divorce decree? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5752 I know she must have left a note somewhere... 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5753 Yes, a stabbing pain. . . . I believe it's 95 theses. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5754 Hello Amazon, I have a complaint about how you bill for your new "key service". 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5755 A divorce proposal agreement? What are you talking about? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5756 Yes, Dr., she said had I listened she would not have had to resort to Lutherian Measures.. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5757 Why is it when I talk to you I always feel yu are accusing me of something 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5758 Couldn’t you have just posted my “to do” list on the refrigerator? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5759 I think Marna means it this time. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5760 Yeah? Well, I thought your lawyer was quite rude. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5761 Things at work? Same ol', same ol'. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5762 I'd like to report a betrayal. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5763 Just be glad your wife isn't Lutheran, Bill. I've got a to-do list that would blow your mind. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5764 I can now say she's got my back with the divorce proposal. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5765 Sorry, busy and stressed. Wife posted her 95 theses on me... 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5766 Hi mom, I'm getting divorced. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5767 I'd like to report a scathing, backstabbing article. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5768 Yes we have teenagers. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5769 I acknowledge the familiar look, walk, and quack. But do they code like a duck? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5770 Hello Police, Before my wife ran off with her tennis instructor, she’s left me a message, and I think it is against the law. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5771 Any chance you misinterpreted the grant specifications? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5772 Where did you say you left a note telling me what to do for the umpteenth time? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5773 Whats my pain level between one and ten 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5774 Since when is emergency calls from landlines not accepted? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5775 No, I can’t read it. But I have a painful feeling it’s a “Dear John” letter. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5776 Yes, I did read the fine print, but I still want to cancel my cable service 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5777 Of course I didn't read the prenup; I was madly in love with him. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5778 My insurance papers DO say it's a work related injury! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5779 Sorry, I'll be late. I've just gotten stuck with my wife's honey-do list. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5780 It would be dangerous to receive any more postings. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5781 The acupuncturist's bill came. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5782 Honey, have you seen my bills? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5783 I know it’s overdrawn sir. Yes, she was a little upset. Well sir, I had it written down but... 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5784 We can't meet your demands because they are not legible. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5785 Yes hi, I'd like to file some complaints about the billing process. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5786 Hello, Room Service? I have a complaint about my bill. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5787 'Where did you put the shopping list?" 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5788 It came special delivery. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5789 She has served me with a divorce petition and it really hurts 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5790 She didn't say no, exactly, to a prenup. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5791 Yes, Dear, I'll be sure to bring the divorce papers. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5792 I am certain that there has been a miscommunication regarding my job description 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5793 I'm going to be late Honey. The intern needs to work on his filing. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5794 Yes, Doctor, there are 95 of them. Nailed to my back, that's right. I agree, I think there has been some mistake. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5795 Mommy? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5796 " Do you have a copy of their demands? I seem to have misplaced mine". 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5797 No, what shopping list? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5798 I can’t tell you how important this is to my wife. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5799 Hello 911? Can you send an ambulance, my wife just served the divorce papers. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5800 Yes Officer, my attacker said I had "violated the contract." 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5801 I can't use the cell phone, I clicked "disagree" after actually reading the T & Cs. Well..apparently that's not an option anymore. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5802 Where did you put it? I can't find the credit card statement anywhere. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5803 I think I’ve been stuck to take one for the team. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5804 I just got served by my ex 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5805 You were supposed to take the contract with you. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5806 Hello, my wife has recently suggested I make an appointment to update my will. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5807 He didn't respond well when I rejected his list of demands 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5808 Hi Sam. Can you come on over and help me with the note Mabel left for me? 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5809 I can't talk now, something has come up. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5810 Once I accepted that I had to give her half of everything, it wasn’t so painful. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5811 She said it was either this or alimony. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5812 No, thank you. I've already bled at the office. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5813 I'd come, but I'm stuck with this "Honey-Do" list. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5814 Yes I got your letter, but I'm not crazy about the method of delivery. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5815 OK, honey, I agree. You can have the house. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5816 Does the ambulance service accept Visa? I may have just lost my wife's insurance coverage with the divorce filing. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5817 You heard me right, Martha. It won't get off my back. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5818 I don't think I can get it off without ripping it, and my wife says it's important and the doctor should see it 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5819 No my love, I haven't lost the to do list. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5820 Yeah, still can't find this week's "Peacefully Dealing With Coworkers" bulletin... 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5821 It's supposed to be pay _or_ die! 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5822 I have a complaint. When I received the robo-call from you people, and screamed that I will only deal with a human...I had "human voice" in mind. Again, your company response is a big disappointment. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5823 Well, she didn't exactly sign the divorce papers. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5824 Yes Miriam, I just received the Divorce papers you sent. And I might add, I also got the two previous documents you sent, wrapped around bricks & thrown at my window. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5825 You know how my partner always says 'I got your back'? 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5826 The subpoena just adds insult to injury. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5827 Martin Luther? No, and I am not a distant relative.... 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5828 Hey Marty. She just served me the divorce papers. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5829 No,we’re going to divorce counseling. She been pretty fair about everything. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5830 Yes, Connie, I found the divorce papers. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5831 I didn't know she could serve divorce papers herself 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5832 Sorry dear, I can't find the shopping list you gave to me. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5833 Isn't it a little late to be calling about your new terms of service when they've already stabbed me in the back? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5834 At least an hour. She's putting on her Stilletos. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5835 "Hi sweetheart. I know you want a divorce because of my lack of attention. But where did you leave the divorce papers you wanted me to sign? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5836 My time is up, I think. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5837 Well, I took my broken iphone back to the store with my service agreement and the rep gave me a very clear demonstration of what the contract meant. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5838 The wife told me to tell you that perfumed love letters are bulletin board material. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5839 No, I haven’t received the divorce papers. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5840 Hi, Does my policy cover Back-U-puncture ? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5841 Thank you. It's good to know that you have my back. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5842 Well doc, its a long story, but after years of being stabbed in the back by my wife the divorce papers are finally signed. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5843 She said she left a letter outlining her grievances but I can't find it." 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5844 911 what's your emergency?" - "My wife wants a divorce... 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5845 Yes, customer service? I'd like to file a complaint about your subpoena delivery service. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5846 I’m killing the script 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5847 911, what’s your emergency ? I wanted you file a missing persons report. What’s the name of the person, sir? Her name is Acapethaua. Can you spell that for me, please. Yes, is A C A...... you still there? Hello? 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5848 Can you please explain to Martin Luther that I'm not Dan Brown? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5849 Why yes, my ex-wife did deliver the divorce papers, but they are not accessible at this moment 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5850 Don't worry about this deal. I've read the fine print; I've got my back covered, and I'll take a stab at it. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5851 Customer service? We have a question or two about your assembly instructions... 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5852 I think it says kick me 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5853 Gosh, no. I didn't see anything. If it happened, must have been out of the room. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5854 No, officer, not a "honey-do" list....more like a list of grievances... 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5855 He was jealous of my indulgences. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5856 Sorry, I am just not seeing your point. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5857 She found out I was messing with the ladies. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5858 I have that strange feeling of having theses pinned to my back. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5859 No, I didn't read the fine print. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5860 He's still mad and now he's found religion. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5861 I think she's trying to tell me something. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5862 I don’t know, she just said something about 95 theses or something. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5863 My wife left me a note to call you. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5864 Next time can you please fax the contract instead of having Mack deliver it? 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5865 Your note was just like stabbing me in the back! 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5866 I'd like to report a crime. I and my screenplay have been stabbed in the back. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5867 No, I obviously didn't read the terms and conditions. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5868 We decided who's gonna take care of it. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5869 Hello John. My wife just delivered the divorce papers. Should I come by your office to have them signed and notorized? 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5870 I think the gist is he feels we are overindulging his sister. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5871 You said that last time. You said, “He’ll get back.” 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
5872 Exposing my colleagues was a really bad idea. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5873 Look, just send someone over, okay! My boss will be even more upset if the contract is smudged with blood. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5874 I'm sorry but she just stepped out for a minute. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5875 I've been home all week and even checked the mailbox. I think my wife forgot about the divorce papers. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5876 Don't worry Martha, I'll sign the divorce papers as soon as I can find them. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
5877 Mr. Weinstein is not happy with your article. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
5878 Honey, remember when I warned you that Circus performer tenants always complain about their apartments? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5879 Can't go golfing this weekend, Herb Ann gave me a honey- do list. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5880 He thinks he's Martin Luther 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5881 Honey, where did you leave that to do list ? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5882 I laughed when she threatened to serve me papers - then it went downhill fast. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5883 It's a 1099. I've been hired. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5884 I want to report a stick-up! 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5885 She called it, "The Edict of Nance." 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5886 Ooh, you cut me, daddy! 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5887 Believe me, you can still make a killing in print. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5888 Where did you leave the divorce papers, again? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5889 My wife left me and I have no idea why. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5890 Maid Marian hated the counter offer. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5891 Honey, does "call 911" come before or after the rest? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5892 Hello, Paul? I thought I signed up for the Cut Your Bill in Half program... 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5893 Hello, it's Mr. Bill Board here. I believe I've been stabbed. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5894 Not tonight, Don. These deadlines are literally killing me. Go figure. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5895 I'm especially worried about the Counter-Reformation. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5896 Well, thank God it's not mightier than a sword. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5897 It's partly my fault. I told her if she couldn't decide where to go on vacation she should just throw a knife at the travel brochure. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5898 Yeah, I have my layoff notice right here. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5899 She had something important to tell me, but was running late for her group therapy. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5900 The news of my death is all fake. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5901 They make some good points. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5902 We were having a discussion about al fresco or full service for dinner tonight and then “whammo “. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5903 She stabbed me in the back mom...more than you know. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5904 Goodell: Yes, Jerry, I received a copy of the lawsuit about my job...Thanks. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5905 Can I call you later? I'm backed up with paperwork. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5906 I suspect the bleeding has only just begun. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
5907 My morning work prediction has been received. Thank you. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5908 She either left a detailed motive or an alibi. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5909 So your really going to stick it to me this time? 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
5910 I just received my divorce settlement demands, can we schedule a meeting at your earliest convenience? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5911 Well, I assumed he meant MLK Jr., if I had known he meant the original Martin Luther I wouldn't have agreed to be the Church door. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5912 No, ma'am, they're not just as good as safety pins. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5913 I get the point, Dear. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5914 Yes, SAS legal department? My son just filled out your application form, and I'd like to suggest that you rethink the wording of your terms and conditions where it says, "stab if you agree". 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5915 No, I didn't sign it and don't need the legal department, would you please just send an ambulance? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5916 Sorry but I can't read the fine print on the contract right now. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5917 I expected you to deliver your poison pen letter in person, not by UPS. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5918 What poster?? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5919 Mom, I have a note for you from my boss. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5920 With ad revenue at an all-time high, Mr. Gardner still had to sell the shirt off his back to keep the art review in publication. "Well," he reasoned. "At least I'll stay warm." 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5921 No, you've caught me at a great time. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
5922 I'm calling about your bulletin. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5923 No, the last two digits are eight two. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5924 I got 95 Theses, but a knife ain't one... It is, however, the reason I'll miss work today. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5925 Hun, where did you put that list of all the people who backstabbed me? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5926 Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu? 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
5927 The betrayal and demands are outrageous and you did not even have the courtesy of using you own knife. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5928 I asked you to add footnotes 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5929 I heard. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5930 Apparently chiropractors don’t take I.O.U.s. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5931 When she said roses are red, I didn’t think she meant the blood dripping down my back. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5932 Honey, where did you say you put that "honey-do"list? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5933 Yes, she's gone. She had a hard time sharing her thoughts with me. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5934 Your lawyer delivered the divorce decree. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5935 Yes, but your email clearly states you would indemnify me! 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5936 911? I have just been murdered by a poison pen letter opener. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5937 Look, I don't care how old Grandpa Brutus is. I think it's time we taught him to text. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5938 I'll have to cancel golf tomorrow - my wife reminded me that I had agreed to go to the flower show with her. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
5939 I did receive your demands but I haven't gotten around to them. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5940 “Put the next notice in my head because my backs already full”. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5941 And then I finally got the point. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5942 Hey your right about letting my wife in on the life insurance. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5943 Hi Honey -- taking a stab at your To Do List so I can get these items off my back. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5944 What honey-do list? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5945 Should I be able to feel it? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5946 Hello Jim. Thank you for forwarding my divorce decree! 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5947 Yes, I received your notice. No, I haven't been able to get to it quite yet. Perhaps when my wife gets home? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5948 I would like to report that someone just pegged 95 theses on my back and I am not even Catholic. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5949 I ran into a Martin Luher impersonator going into church today. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5950 I just got the non-disclosure contract. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5951 But it's not a deed – it’s a title. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
5952 On the other hand, at least it wasn't a kick in the guts. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5953 Uh...yes, I'm quite sure she has reviewed the prenuptial. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5954 As if stealing the company away wasn't enough... 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5955 Good news, I finalized my will. bad news you're not in it 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5956 I'll review the contract just as soon as the bandage arrives. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
5957 She said NOW our divorce is final 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5958 Honey, would you text me that shopping list? I can't read the copy you left at home. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5959 Yea I got naked so what? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5960 Martin thinks our counteroffer is low. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5961 Classic FBI, stab a colleague in the back and leave a vindication! 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5962 Hold on a sec - this text message is marked 'urgent.' 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5963 I'm getting this sense that I'm forgetting something. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5964 If I could read what it says, I wouldn't be calling for help. 1.1538 0.08645 39 36 0 3
5965 And cheese and milk TOO? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5966 I thought we were keeping this amicable, Susan. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5967 The kid evidently thought the chaperone said 'tale.' And 'honky.' 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5968 Louise, you know that list of complaints Jimmie's been compiling? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5969 You thought YOU had it bad with your scarlet letter. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5970 I'm sure I haven't seen it. When did you send it? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5971 Well honey, I guess giving your mother a list of reasons she’s like an itch I can’t scratch was a mistake. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
5972 911? This time a backstabbing spouse serving divorce papers is an emergency. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5973 She stuck me with the amendment's text, and I realized that guns are not the only way to fight back. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5974 I don't feel good moving forward. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5975 Can you connect me with Backstabbers Anonymous ? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5976 Hi Monica, I can't meet you for a drink tonight, I'm afraid my wife suspects something. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5977 Yes, your demands have been posted and duly noted. A little heads up might have been nice, however. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5978 Well at least thing time the backstabber left an explanation 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5979 I dunno Mom, I think Cheryl's pretty serious about the divorce. Can I call you back? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5980 They claim I violated the terms of our non-disclosure agreement, if I understand the point of this message. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5981 Dad died. He wouldn't say if he had a will. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5982 Hello 911? My son has changed his name to M. Luther and posted some Theses relating to his allowance which I think you should know about. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5983 She claimed I had no backbone - luckily for me, she was right. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5984 Her response to the divorce papers just arrived. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5985 No, Mother. She did NOT agree to the pre-nup. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
5986 911? I? think I? have a message for your people. It was hoped that you’d find me dead. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5987 So I forgot the grocery list. For this you stab me in the back? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5988 I know you said you left a list, but I can't find it anywhere! 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5989 I get the point, you want a divorce. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5990 My lawyer says it will make me look more sympathetic. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5991 Yeah, I don't think the client likes our contract stipulations....they kept mentioning all the "indulgences". 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5992 Well, let's just say the players' union wasn't quite ready to come to terms. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5993 Yes, about your lawyer,,,, 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5994 I'm not sure what her latest emands are yet, but the negotiations have racheted up somewhat. 1.1538 0.08645 39 36 0 3
5995 The kid playing Martin Luther at today's Reformation pageant missed the door and I got the 95 theses instead. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5996 Don't worry honey, your reminder for your 't.t.d.' list was quite clear! 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
5997 Honestly, I thought acupuncture was just needles. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5998 I've been served with divorce papers 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
5999 Of course I read the fine print. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
6000 Little Caesars, I would like to order a pizza. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6001 I've been stabbed in the back, and I'm pretty sure it was by a Lutheran. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6002 Hello, room service? I was just served papers that I didn't order. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6003 What do you mean you put out a contract on me? 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6004 We sent the really gifted ones to an advanced incubator. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
6005 Susan, your divorce lawyer really stuck it to me. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6006 Hello,911,no, no, no, don't put me on hold... 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6007 Some sort of thesis he said, but I haven't had a chance to read it. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6008 My back is killing me. I'll call you later. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6009 ‘They heard you were a quack.’ 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6010 My back pain proves I have feelings, but I can't find Your list of grievances. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
6011 Yes, the divorce is final. She signed the papers this morning. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6012 The prenup is signed but I can't seem to reach it. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6013 She just posted a list of grievances. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
6014 How do I know we're being evicted? I've just got a feeling. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6015 Look, officer. Whether it rises to the level of the unibomber manifesto is beyond my pay grade. But it hurts, nonetheless. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6016 Honey , I still can't find the shopping list . 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6017 I am sorry, you She just left, can I take a message? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6018 Oh, I got the point. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6019 So it turns out getting stabbed in the back isn’t all that bad. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6020 Is that with or without the tip? 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6021 Sorry, I think my wife may have a few things for me to do. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6022 People have been kicking me in the same elaborate manner all day long. So how was your day? 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
6023 Nope. I've never heard of Putin. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6024 So...my wife just gave me divorce papers. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6025 ... well she has been talking a lot about divorce recently, maybe it's something to do with that. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6026 Yes. I did receive your letter. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6027 I have a feeling my policy doesn't cover "insurance representative-induced injuries." 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6028 Yes, doctor, I'm sticking to my diet religiously. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6029 This is Tom in room 808. I need schedule a dry cleaning pickup for tomorrow. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6030 I'd like to report a back stabbing. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6031 The devil's on my back, and she wants a divorce. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6032 I can tell you all about it when I have absorbed it thoroughly. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6033 Yes, I'd like to order take-out. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6034 I got your love note. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6035 I had to sign for it but I haven't had time to read it yet. 1.1538 0.08645 39 36 0 3
6036 You back-stabbing witch - I READ the damn alimony provisions, ya know . . . 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6037 Well, at the moment, I’m having a hard time reading the fine print of my life insurance policy. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6038 Room service, please. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6039 Sorry, but can you send me another copy of the contract? I an having trouble seem reading this one. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6040 Imagine, he invites me to this very fancy sushi place, and he sticks me with the bill! 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6041 I don't know, I can't read it. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6042 I’d like to report a sighting of Martin Luther and his new 95 theses. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6043 It’s my to do list. Apparently she’s taken advise from one of her backstabbing friends. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6044 Yes dear, I got your list 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6045 Indeed. This case is proving hard to pin down. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
6046 The Instant Messenger Beta Test that failed. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6047 The Bishop says I’m not Lutheran enough. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6048 Yes John, my wife abandoned me, she said she left a letter somewhere to explain she doesn’t love me anymore because I’m unemotional and behave like I don't feel anything, but I really can't understand why 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
6049 You told me I would be portrayed as the hero! 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6050 Apparently my wife thinks I am behind with my 'to do' list. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6051 This landline contract is a killer. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6052 It’s that damn history teacher! They’re studying Martin Luther and he’s into “hands-on” pedagogy... 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6053 I think we need to rewrite the prenup. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6054 I know, but she wasn’t a Martin Luther. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6055 Twenty minutes? Okay, I guess. If I don't answer right away, tell them to keep trying. 1.1538 0.05853 39 33 6 0
6056 Out of the blue she serve me divorce papers today! After raising three children and everything I've given her---It was a real stab in the back. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6057 lawyers 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6058 You said this was going to be a friendly divorce! 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
6059 Something tells me my payment is late. 1.1538 0.06910 39 34 4 1
6060 I've narrowed it down to two theories, Doris: Either she suspects something, or she ran out of space on the bulletin board. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6061 Hello, 911? This is Martin Luther. Can you send an EMT to my house who can read Latin? 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6062 Sir, I promise you my loyalty. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6063 How am I supposed to see your "To-Do List" when you stuck it there? 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6064 Dear, I promise I won’t forget to pay that bill 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6065 No problem. I haven't gone yet. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6066 Pirates keep kicking me in the butt everywhere I go. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6067 Yes I''ll definitely save the date! 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6068 “Mother wants me to look for a job”. 1.1500 0.07638 40 36 2 2
6069 Hello. Father O'Brian? There's a guy who claims to be Martin Luther in the neighborhood. He just left here. If he shows up at Church, do not turn your back on him! 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6070 I changed my mind and would like to add voicemail. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6071 My wife would like to cancel our remaining 'Marriage Counseling' sessions. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6072 I think they're serious." 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6073 Honey, I’ll be coming home early from the conference. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6074 On a positive note, she gave me 48 hours to accede to her demands... 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6075 Actually, I am quite unhappy with my current internet and cable contract. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6076 I understand that you had your reasons, but it's still not cool. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6077 Where did you put the shopping list I don't see it anywhere 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6078 I’ve just gotten the divorce papers. What’s the next step? 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6079 Never mind. Just send up room service. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6080 You're mad, but there's nicer ways to deliver divorce papers! 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
6081 Please send it in an email next time. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
6082 "No, that's the strange thing. They didn't even say what this is all about". 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
6083 What time is the movie? I can't find my paper. 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
6084 Monsignor, I need to buy a plenary indulgence right away. 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
6085 Honey....where did you put the shopping list?? 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
6086 What's your point, Emily? 1.1463 0.05589 41 35 6 0
6087 When will I get the @&$?#*! signed divorce agreement 1.1463 0.05589 41 35 6 0
6088 I've received the paperwork for the mobile, and I've decided to stick with the landline for a while longer. 1.1463 0.05589 41 35 6 0
6089 I wish for once she’d just tell me what to wear. 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
6090 Honey, tell me again why you feel like Martin Luther. 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
6091 No, what shopping list? 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
6092 I truly feel I am being stabbed in the back. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6093 I’d like to report a suicide by suicide note 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6094 Hello? I'd like to place an order for delivery. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6095 So ya think she might want a divorce? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6096 So, I told that Luther fellow what he could do with his theses. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6097 She says she has 95 reasons to divorce me. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6098 So, we finalized our divorce today. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6099 Mom, even with something as trivial as a grocery list the jury is still out for my wife being too passive aggressive. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6100 "No, I didn't read it. But I still want a refund. The knife's just not as sharp as advertised". 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6101 Then he said, "Hey man, whaddaya expect? I'm Jim Bowie. I don't do push pins." 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6102 Martin Luther's lawyer provided his demands. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6103 Tomato, toe-mah-to... let's call the whole thing off. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6104 Yes I received your offer, but I'm struggling with the fine print. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6105 Where's my To-Do List? I told you NEVER to move my To-Do List! 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6106 It is not true! I did not grope that girl! 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6107 Et tu, Bruce? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6108 He said something about walking papers but no bonus... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6109 I can't put my finger on it, but I have this feeling you're upset. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6110 Yes- I'd like to report 95 of my undergraduate students... 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6111 What do you mean I can't get out of my wireless contract? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6112 They keep trying to stick the chosen with the antiquated Constitution. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6113 Am I middle-class? Yes, but I've not seen the tax reform bill. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6114 The last time I saw it, you were reminding me we have dinner tonight at the Andersons. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6115 Yes, pointed, cutting and edgy, but not in the way you'd expect it to be. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6116 I know you said I wouldn’t forget this message, where is it? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6117 Dr.! For the past week Ive had this sharp pain between my shoulder blades. 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
6118 I'm sorry, dear, but I still can't find your divorce petition. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6119 She didn't even leave a note. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6120 It's not that I didn't receive the eviction notice... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6121 They are offering me points on the back end. 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
6122 I don’t want to sound overly dramatic but her Dear John letter sure feels like a stab in the back. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6123 I'll get right back to you. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6124 Page 6 is back and sharp as ever. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6125 Honey, have you seen our divorce papers anywhere? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6126 It must have been one of the millennial executives, they attached a confessional think piece. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6127 Just got your note, but haven’t had a chance to read it yet. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6128 Well, Honey, HR is serious this time about us picking a health plan before the deadline. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6129 Honey can you come pick me up? They took my company car and gave me my walking papers. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6130 Sweetheart, I don't think suicide is supposed to work this way. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6131 I have a stabbing pain in my back, Doctor. It began just after my wife asked for a divorce. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6132 Martin Luther's done it again. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6133 My son has some very uncomfortable ideas about what he should do with the journal writing he does in his therapy sessions. 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
6134 The "Honey Do List?" Yes, I still have it. 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
6135 Honey, where did you say you left the shopping list? 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
6136 Do you know when he'll be in? Just trying to shoot him back. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6137 I'm calling for a friend. Have you filled that advertised position at the carnival yet? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6138 Honey, I can't find the divorce papers 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6139 James, have you given me a copy of our strategic report that you sent to the boss? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6140 I'm telling you: I mailed the check three weeks ago. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6141 The way that I feel about this tax bill is more like a deep, stabbing betrayal. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6142 I'm having second thoughts about using old communications technology. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6143 Hi hon, I can't find the shopping list. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6144 I have gotten used to robo-calls but robo-backstabbing is a bit much. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6145 She wanted to be sure I knew what to order out for supper... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6146 I fear my wife has declared a split with her own 95 Theses. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6147 Yes Dear, I have a feeling that I received a note from your lawyer! 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6148 Yes boss, I know you've got my back on this project. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6149 Luther's out 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6150 No,I really dont think that this is a new kind of Post-it. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6151 Let's see.....I know I put that report somewhere. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6152 YOUR DIVORCE PAPERS WERE JUST DELIVERED 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6153 It’s the take-home work that’s killing me. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6154 Does your firm have any experience with pirate code? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6155 All I said was you know what you can do with your lawyers's divorce agreement. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6156 So, to be clear, you recommend I get internet service. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6157 I'm hoping my Caption entry with 'sticking point' and 'stab in the back' will also make the 'Block that Metaphor' in the New Yorker. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6158 The divorce took me by surprise too. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6159 I can't find where you left the 'to do' list, honey, but I'm thinking I may need to get in for an adjustment today anyway. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6160 It’s getting harder and harder to ignore her honey-do lists. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6161 Please advise her that our divorce decree should have been posted publicly. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6162 Honey... I would do anything to get You(r) back. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6163 No mother, I didn’t have ‘Post no Bills’ written on my back. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6164 Susan, this one night stand just stabbed me in the back. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6165 I feel i have something important to tell the world ! 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6166 'Just received our final eviction notice'. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6167 .I'm being trolled old school. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6168 I'm sorry, I don't text. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6169 No, the paper delivered wasn't wet or late and I can't tell if any parts are missing. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6170 Are you sure you added a backstabbing clause in my pre-nup? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6171 My wife is not happy that I failed to respond to your letter. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6172 Certainly dear couldn’t you have found a better place to leave the “to do” list? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6173 I hope my lawyer hurries over to read this. The Novocaine from today's root canal hasn't worn off yet. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6174 Hello, 911... Well I think I would like to report my car stollen. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6175 Listen, I know you said you’d get back to me, but.... 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6176 Don’t be ridiculous. Martin Luther’s been dead for years. 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
6177 This list of reasons why you're filing for divorce feels like a knife in the back. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6178 The news was on point today. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6179 No, I can't tell you what the papers say. They're stuck where I can't read them. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6180 backstabbing lawyers, amirite? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6181 Police....someone just left me a terrible message. 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
6182 Et to-do, Louise? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6183 I'd like to reply to your complaints, but I can't make them out in the mirror. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6184 She said something about 95 Theses, but I didn't have a chance to read them. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6185 Hello, City First Baptist? I have a message from the Lutherans. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6186 She has a very aggressive divorce lawyer. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6187 Honey, this calender is giving me a pain in the back 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6188 I fear my teflon-man days are numbered. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6189 Honey, did you forget to pay the cable bill again? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6190 SEE NOTE 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6191 No, really, what's black and white and red all over? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6192 Is this 911? I’d like to report an assault by “honey-do” list. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6193 Am I stuck with this contract; it's killing me. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6194 All she left me was a letter. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6195 My wife's declared 95 theses for our divorce. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6196 Yes, I'm afraid I do remember kissing you on the playground at Alameda Elementary. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6197 If I had known knives were involved, I would not have selected the cheapest delivery option! 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6198 Hello George. You left your knife. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6199 Well, we have started the new 360 Feedback program... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6200 No, I'm fairly certain it wasn't Scaramucci. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6201 What do you mean, take a stab at it? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6202 Anyway, my wife's attorney spots me leaving the house, and, yadda, yadda, yadda, I get served with divorce papers! 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
6203 Hello 911, Mr. Luther missed the door! 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6204 I'm sorry, I really can't hold. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6205 There seems to be something stuck to my back, can you come up here and tell me what it is? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6206 I thought we were friends and you just stabbed me in the back and left a written apology? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6207 She doesn’t seem comfortable with the terms of the agreement. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6208 I'm sorry. It's back ordered. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6209 Wait til you see what's on Line 2. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6210 Yes, I saw the news article accusing me of being a sexual predator and so I'm calling to resign effective immediately. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6211 Yes, dear. When your Mother left she gave me your note. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6212 Look, "Herr Luther", or whoever you are, those 95 theses are not anywhere around here and you are beginning to be a pain in my back! 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
6213 Frankly, their rejecting my proposal felt like a real stab in the back. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6214 You want to put a pin in that idea? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6215 I take it the contract has no wriggle room. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6216 I said no backsies. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6217 Hello, 911? Finally! 10th try. Operator, I had an accident posting my emergency contact numbers.... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6218 Dead Letter Office, please.... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6219 What're you talking about? No one here's been served divorce papers. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6220 Only 95 but it still hurts. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6221 Yes Officer, she's threatened to kill me if I don't meet her demands. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6222 Sorry, I don't think Marie will be home this evening. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6223 911? I’ve been manifestoed. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6224 It's the new tax code. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6225 She told me I wasn't worthy of a postage stamp. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6226 I know you said this was on deep background, but it still isn't what I expected. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6227 When you said "Donald isn't as good a friend as I thought," I didn't expect he was a "back-stabber" 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6228 Hello mom, I think Fran wants a divorce.... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6229 I don't like the smug, elitist vibe I'm getting from your think-tank, Jennings. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6230 My assistant just angrily quit by Post-it note. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6231 Yes, it was my friend. That's right, lyrics. Pretty sure it's the O'Jays. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6232 Of coarse I read it, but that's not the problem 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6233 I'd like to complain about your process server... 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6234 I'm afraid I won't be able to make the court date. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6235 I was right-sized this afternoon. How was your day? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6236 I'd like to refute the third of my wife's 95 theses. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6237 Yes, it's a dull, aching pain. I began feeling it shortly after leaving the bank. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6238 Work is killing me. How are you doing? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6239 She tells me that I need to change, but she is never specific. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6240 So, you've got my back? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6241 No, no, I am pretty sure. Her terms look quite benign. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6242 I don't know if I've been served or severed. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6243 Hi - who can I talk to about getting an email address? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6244 I have a few questions regarding my mortgage. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
6245 Does your yogi do house calls? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6246 You know that divorce settlement? I'll sign. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6247 goddammit how many times do I have to tell you I am NOT that Martin Luther! 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6248 About finding a job, I get your point dear! 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6249 Mr. Johnson, i was served today 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6250 Barb; your lawyer has served me with the divorce papers and your expected settlement... 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6251 I’d like to show him my 95 feces... 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6252 Honey, where did you say you left the shopping list? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6253 My new carrier INSISTS I use a landline phone. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6254 I have an aching feeling I'll find the grocery list soon, honey 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6255 I told her if she put all of her grievances in writing, it wasn't backstabbing... 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6256 Um, can I order a pizza? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6257 But, Marilyn, why did you address it to my wife? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6258 No, not Van Dross. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6259 Let's just say he used an unusual method to post his manifesto. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6260 Dad, you were sorta right when you said that studying journalism would eventually bite me in the back side. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6261 I'm calling about the Explanation of Benefits I received... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6262 I'm pretty certain I start Monday. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6263 Please tell Mr. Sharkey that although I got his new loan-refinancing note, read it carefully in the mirror and agree to all its provisions - I'm having some ongoing problems with regard to signing on the dotted line. Thank you. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6264 Where is the tripple mirror I ordered? Yes, I have prime. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6265 "Looking back, I didn't realize the "Honey-do list" she gave me last year, was so important to her. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6266 As she was leaving she said that she left me a note, but I can't find it. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6267 Sir, when you sign your name, you are also agreeing to all of the terms included in the easily accessible fine print. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6268 She served me the divorce papers today. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6269 Yes dear, I got your note about my Mom's visit this weekend. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6270 Listen, gotta go. I just got a pointed reminder of what's on the honey-do list today. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6271 Darling, have you seen my honey-do list? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6272 I got served with divorce papers from my wife and the process server was a brute. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6273 We need to talk about my property tax assessment. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6274 Uncle Martin dropped off his thesis. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6275 Your delivery method is a little odd. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6276 Look Doc, there's got to be a better way for you to send me my prescription! 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6277 Even so, I still love Facebook. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6278 Please remind me what you would do if I lost it? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6279 I need an ambulance. I've been stabbed in the back by my partner, Martin. Martin Luther. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6280 don't pick the daisies is it then 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6281 Did you email or snail mail the divorce decree? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6282 I know I'm supposed to do something for you but I can't find your note. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6283 NICE OF YOU TO CALL AND GIVE ME HEADS-UP THAT YOU ARE STABBING ME IN THE BACK 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6284 Need your help, Doc. No one told me the side effect of not voting. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6285 Can you believe it? She called me an insensitive dolt then packed up and left. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6286 My wife just served me divorce papers. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6287 You make a good point. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6288 The divorce papers were served but there is one big sticking point. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6289 Yes, I do have eyes in the back of my head, inherited from my mother. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6290 I dunno Shirley, you could've just mailed me the divorce papers. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
6291 Call me paranoid, but I don't trust these guys. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6292 No, it hurts even more when I try to sit down and relax. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6293 I’m calling about your diet. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6294 I suspect it's a copy of the Versailles Treaty. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6295 I got the raise, but it came with some conditions. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6296 No, I don't back the fake news reported. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6297 0kay, okay. I got the point! 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6298 Hello, Better Business Bureau? I’d like to report what I feel is undeserved harassment from a collection agency. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6299 It may be a Lutheran tradition but it's really hurting my back. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6300 I seem to have misplaced it. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6301 Where did you stick the grocery list? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6302 It feels like I've been stabbed in the back. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6303 The twins are home from art school and they have a list of demands. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6304 My friend, Martin Luther, seems to have missed the point. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6305 Did you know Martin Luther is now a killer zombie? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6306 Yes, I'm feeling the effects of excessive violence in the media. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6307 Please take me off your distribution list. It's Theo Church... Yes, Theo, with an "o". 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6308 Bob? This is Ralph. How about coming over & taking this knife out of my back. You may need ut again. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
6309 Et tu, Lorraine? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
6310 Hello, 911? My wife has just served me with divorce papers. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6311 We finally have his backing, on paper. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6312 Yes I'm mentally checking out - I've posted a notice to that effect and where you can reach me if you need to locate me.... 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6313 I we 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6314 Burn all the files - I have just been nominated to Trump's cabinet. 1.1389 0.08119 36 33 1 2
6315 'Yes, the first day went fine. They seem a friendly bunch.' 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6316 My wife delivered her new demands for the divorce today. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6317 yes my wife did leave a goodbye letter with details of what she wants from a divorce settlement 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6318 No, I can’t tell where you hid the divorce papers. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6319 What I said was: "Post *no* bills. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6320 I always thought Martin Luther was my friend. How could he do this to me? 1.1389 0.08119 36 33 1 2
6321 At least it doesn't say 'kick me.' 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6322 The extra charges are killing me. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6323 Can you connect me with the ghost of Martin Luther? 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6324 Where did you say you put the contract? 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6325 I hadn’t noticed before, but let me have a stab at it. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6326 I'D LIKE TO REPORT A MISSING BULLETIN BOARD. 1.1389 0.08119 36 33 1 2
6327 Hello, Marketplace, I want to enroll in Trumpcare...yes, I'll hold. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6328 She said 'In five hundred years, we'll be famous.' 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6329 Hello, Backstabber here. Did you get my message? 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6330 Can I report attempted murder by my accountant? 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6331 I have to go now. Someone's trying to get my attention. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6332 Honey, our neighbor just left another note. Think it’s time to get the “shock-collar”. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6333 I'm done with a back stabbing thriller script! 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6334 Sweetums, it seems I've misplaced the draft of our prenup. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6335 We are being served, constable just stabbed by. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6336 No, it's not a metaphor about my contract. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6337 Whatever happened to just drowning in your bills? 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6338 Please remove me from your do not call list...it's killing me. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6339 At least now I know not to sign a real estate contract with a pirate. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6340 I got your message, thanks for watching my back 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6341 D/ Andro/ds Dr/m /lectric S/eep? 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6342 Luther nailed his 95 theses, and Hazel has nailed me. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6343 I have a feeling that my wife and I just don't see eye-to-eye on this. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6344 I mean, I know the news cycle has gotten vicious, but this is ridiculous. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6345 They say it's the middle-aged version of getting inked...yeah it's painful, but it's my last chance to be cool 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6346 Yes Dear, I remember what the marriage counselor advised, and if I could find that list of things that upset you, I could try and do better. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6347 "Hello, Attorney Harris? I have a strong feeling I've been served with those divorce papers. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6348 I have a question about the new Post-It Notes. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6349 'Dept Collection Harassment Hotline?" 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6350 Yes, I received your notice to renew the magazine subscription. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6351 She's always been rather "old school" about things... 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6352 My wife left a suicide note, but I think its for me to sign. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6353 Hello, Stan? As it turns out, I'm glad I put you on retainer. My wife literally just stabbed me in the back with an ultimatum. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6354 Yes, I was just notified that my health insurance premium is increasing again... 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6355 Yes I'm here, why are you calling? 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6356 B-R-U-T-U-S, Officer. Or could have been Martin. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6357 Hi honey. Can you remind me where we put the mortgage application? 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6358 I better get off the phone. My wife asked me to check out our kids homework a few hours ago and I finally got the point. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6359 I can`t find your to do list, but I do have a sharp pain in my back 1.1389 0.08119 36 33 1 2
6360 Yes, hello police. I would like to report my wife. She stabbed in the back, again! 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6361 Yes, I got your note. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6362 She called it a feminist manifesto but I call it a pain in the backside. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6363 My heart's still intact. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6364 No Mom, the job is great. Who told you that the paperwork could be a killer? 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6365 If you don't like the demands, feel free to take it up with my wife. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6366 So I take it you served me the divorce papers today. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6367 These new fees that you added to my bill are really killing me. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6368 Usually you're a pain elsewhere. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6369 911 I think my wife ran out of postage stamps! 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6370 Your mother says I never get the point. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6371 Sorry, I meant to post it on your smart phone. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6372 I don't mind waiting for the ambulance. My condition continues to be Stable 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6373 Yes, I was served with the divorce papers a few minutes ago. 1.1389 0.08119 36 33 1 2
6374 It's that new kids' birthday party game called "Pin the Gripe on the Parent." 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6375 I feel betrayed, but also protested against. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6376 I have a pointed response to your question. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6377 Yes, I got your note dear - my dinner's in the oven. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6378 ...Yeah, only when I laugh. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6379 I will give the service a "1". 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6380 That E-Mail you sent me Bill; how many people did you "cc"? 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6381 I noticed there is a clause that says I can pay you back in-kind. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6382 Verizon? I'm pretty sure my wife wants to cancel our landline contract. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6383 You're first on my wife's to do list, and, yes, I hate retirement. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6384 I have a contract killer on my back. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6385 She found your love notes, Trixie, and now they're my scarlet letters. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6386 Satan's lawyers served me with notice of intention to repossess. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6387 "My lawyer objects to some of your demands"! 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6388 There seems to be an issue. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6389 I want to complain about a back up on my posts. What's the matter? Fax machine broken? 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6390 Correct. Agatha Christie penned a short story on my back. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6391 The boss says it's important, but I can't read it without a hand mirror. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
6392 I figured they’d cancel my shows but I didn’t expect so many exposés. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6393 I can't describe what it felt like when I learned of your deceit. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6394 You say you got my back, but how can I be sure? 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6395 Let me make one thing perfectly clear.... I am NOT an amendment! 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
6396 It I’ll take me all day to get all this stuff. I feel like I’m being stabbed in the back. 1.1379 0.08191 29 26 2 1
6397 It feels like she kicked me in the balls. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6398 You must have the wrong number. I never ordered any documents from you. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6399 When I said my wife reads my email, you drew the wrong conclusion. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
6400 I took your advice: Soon as I suspected he was approaching to serve me a subpoena I walked purposefully away. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
6401 No, there was no really biting criticism. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6402 Honey, I can't find the carving knife. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6403 Can I sleep on it? 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6404 Her argument certainly came to a point. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6405 Apparently Breitbart rejected my editorial submission criticizing Roy Moore. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
6406 My back is killing me and and I need doctor Thompson's number. why are you not answering my calls??? 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
6407 You were supposed to pin your manifesto on the door, not my back. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6408 Frank, you're my attorney, but I think we've ironed out the terms of the divorce settlement ourselves. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
6409 should have used my cell phone 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6410 ...Yeah....No....No, the doctor couldn't find anything... 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6411 I wish there was a word to describe how I feel about these hidden surcharges. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
6412 Hey Sam My wife served our divorce papers 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6413 Hello 9-1-1. I've been stabbed in the back.By who? My wife.I know, because it includes the honey-do-list I haven't done. 1.1351 0.07905 37 34 1 2
6414 What to-do list? I didn't see it. 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
6415 I already know-your lawyer just served me with the divorce papers 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
6416 Did you get my note? 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
6417 I know Ma, you always told me to watch out for backstabbers. Well, she wants the house and the kids. 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
6418 don't forget to cross me off your list 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
6419 It's ninety-five theses on why I will not get a raise. 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
6420 Martin Luther just mistook me for a church door! 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
6421 Hello, 911? my name is Wittenberg. I've just been stabbed by a guy who said he's Martin Luther. 1.1316 0.07703 38 35 1 2
6422 Writing's on the wall, bro'... Me too. 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
6423 Yes sir, I have the treaty around here somewhere. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
6424 I have the lease but I can't read it right now 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
6425 I'll probably remember when we're sitting down for dinner. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
6426 Mildred, the jury seems leaning towards "cruel and unusual." 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
6427 Traditional print, digital and now this new distribution channel. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
6428 Mother, I need help with the student loans. The new tax proposal feels heavy on my back. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6429 Hello? I would like to be de-listed. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6430 My tax forms are killing me. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6431 Hello. Yes I'd like to report a case of domestic abuse. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6432 She said our relationship needed a Reformation. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6433 Yes I have been stabbed in the back, but their mandate is clear. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6434 My wife reminded me to call you. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6435 I have an eerie feeling I was meant to do something today... 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6436 What a coincidence, we were just discussing credit card interest rates. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6437 I am a hostage to your beauty. Can you take the knife out of my back? 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6438 "They" really stabbed me in the back with that new policy. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6439 Honey, I think I found your gambling IOU. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6440 That's right, I would like to be added to the "Do not call list" 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6441 Your message just came in. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6442 my wife suggested I call about the dining room set you have for sale. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6443 Sorry, I don’t think I can make it tonight. My wife just gave me a killer to do list ! 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6444 Couldn't you have just sent me an email? 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6445 I know the exterminator said he'd set traps next week, but is there any chance he could come by today? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6446 He said something about 95 theses, and then, “Oops”! 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6447 I understand your desire for a divorce, but I think your summons service was a bit more vigorous than it needed to be. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6448 Here I stand, I can do no other. 1.1212 0.08436 33 31 0 2
6449 Let me see if I've got that right...Colonel Mustard, with the knife, in the study? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6450 Yes, I received my credit card statement. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6451 These hidden fees are killing me 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6452 Hon, I got my marching papers today. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6453 Yes, I'd like to purchase an internet please. Print is dead. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6454 I'll have to get "back" to you! 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6455 Honey, did you happen to find those 95 Theses? 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6456 Yes, dear. I got your honey do list. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6457 and then she said "I'm stuck on you" 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6458 It's Kirk Wittenberg. There's been a mistake. 1.1212 0.08436 33 31 0 2
6459 She means it this time. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6460 Honey, you forgot to sign the prenup. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6461 Martha, your wish list, get it off my back. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6462 Looks like I’m going to need the name of that divorce lawyer after all - 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6463 Marge, where’s that grocery list you gave me this morning? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6464 I don't know boss, the project sort of snuck up on me 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6465 She said I was just fooling around. Why are you guys so sensitive? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6466 She wants a prenup, I don't. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6467 So you didn't like my letter to the editor? A bit of overkill, wouldn't you say? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6468 Gloria, about the play-acting? Not even a chance for our secret word. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6469 We had the closing on the apartment today. He seemed upset when I explained about the problem with the mortgage. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6470 Don't worry, I put the list where I can remember it. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6471 Yes, Mother, she tried to remove your flower portrait and buy more furniture, and I firmly said "No." 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6472 honey ,I'm sorry I ignored you...where's the shopping list? 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6473 I’m just dying to remember where I put those papers!! 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6474 Your crime novel's sample pages impressed me, but I can't be your literary agent. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6475 Hello...911...he said his name was Martin Luther, I turned around and WHAM!!! Can you send a Protestant officer please? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6476 Yes, Dear...I just now got the hurtful point of your divorce papers! 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6477 Hi doc, I'm still getting stabbing pains in my back. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6478 Haven't read it yet; don't think they took our offer. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6479 I'm going to be late....auditioning for a small role in a re-take of an event from 1517. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6480 Yes, Mr. Luther, I really do appreciate your grievances but I still feel I'm not the right target for your protest. I mean, I'm not even Catholic for a start. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6481 I'd like to report a theft. Important documents and a valuable antique dagger. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6482 She won't fight me on the house or the kids, but she made clear the acupuncture clinic is non-negotiable. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6483 911: Sir. What do you mean, "Your wife was trying to make a point." 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6484 Yeah the kids weren’t too happy about their essay scores 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6485 Press 1 if your are part of the United States ... Press 9 if you are Puerto Rico 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6486 I got the milk. I got the eggs. But somehow I've misplaced your list. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6487 Hello, I would like to cancel the rush delivery of my paper. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6488 My new insurance won't approve another appointment this year. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6489 Hello Republican National Committee, I withdraw my interest to run for senator from Arizona. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6490 I believe the divorce papers say that I always turn my back to her. And that's her legal defense, too. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6491 It was some grinning zombie-wonk named Keith Schiller. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6492 She said she'd indulge me no longer and demanded a complete reformation of our marriage, but I still don't know the details. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6493 We're cancelling our son's indulgences until he reforms himself. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6494 Yes, tell Brutus its about his evaluation. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6495 Yes, I have time to answer a few questions. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6496 Honey, I swear I looked everywhere. I still can't find the ToDo list!! 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6497 I´d like to make an appointment with Dr. Dolchstoßlegende. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6498 I learned today that during contract talks you should never use the terms non-negotiable and shank in the same sentence. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6499 Uncle Vinny is out. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6500 I prefer counsel to remove the knife to preserve the privilege of the content of the letter she claims to have discovered. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6501 Frankly Diana, I should have expected you'd have the divorce papers served this way... Hi Jim, I told you it was going to get bloody. She just served the divorce papers. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6502 When I turned my back on him, he served the summons in a vicious way. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6503 I wish I could help, but I'm a little busy now. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6504 Just calling to say I don't appreciate how your people deliver demand payment letters. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6505 911 I'd like to report an eviction 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6506 You know a stamp only costs 50 cents! 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6507 Hang on. I have to address an urgent matter. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6508 Hello, Jim Comey speaking...Oh, yes Mr. President, I got your message. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6509 Backstabbers Anonymous? You've been breached. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6510 Just tell Martin I have a few complaints of my own. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6511 Can you believe this, they told me the writing was on the wall. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6512 Did you have to deliver the bill by Ninja Warrior? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6513 I'd like to report a stabbing. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6514 I stopped the knife, but will not stop the wired phone service connect to my house! 1.1212 0.08436 33 31 0 2
6515 Yes, I voted for Trump. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6516 Well, obviously this is an unconventional way to serve divorce papers! 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6517 The way the message was delivered betrays its flattering tone. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6518 Sorry, gotta run. The wife seems to have a problem. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6519 I would like to report a problem with my new e-mail opener. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6520 Hey honey, have you seen that memo for our new life insurance policy? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6521 I'd like to order something off the takeout menu. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6522 Martin, I received your theses, but I don't appreciate the way it was delivered, 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6523 Isn’t it quaint just to be stabbed in the back? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6524 Hello Post Office, dead letter department please. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6525 I feel your pain but I'm not risking my life for this. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6526 I’m reporting a tax attack. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6527 Yes, I no longer wish to be on the "do not call" list. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6528 Thank god I'd fallen asleep on my dissertation before the attack 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6529 IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES ! 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6530 The reports of my death have not been exaggerated. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6531 I'm backing my wife up while she takes a stab at the Want Ads. Can you quick find her something? 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6532 Yes officer that's correct I just asked when dinner would be ready 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6533 Darn media always backstabbing me. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6534 My ex. served me papers. What a prick! 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6535 By the way, my wife just reminded me that.... 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6536 I’m having trouble hearing you, I’ve just been stabbed 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6537 I have a nagging sense that the committee already stabbed me in the back with the notes I shared. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6538 I'm aware I have no spine. I'm still standing aren't I? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6539 I got the hospital bill today. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6540 911... send an ambulance... finished my research on new book, "The Woman Who Mistook Her Husband For A Bulletin Board." 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6541 That's where you put my to do list? And here I thought I was merely on the receiving end of your rapier like wit. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
6542 Hello FTC? I'd like to report a bill collector who may be a little too aggressive. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6543 I have a complaint. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6544 All I said was, 'You gotta stick it to the man.' 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6545 No honey, I can't read it. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6546 I really did stick to the message, Honey. Should have used email, though. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6547 911? I’ve just been nailed to the 95 theses. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6548 Mr. Luther’s out right now, would you care to leave a Thesis? 1.1212 0.08436 33 31 0 2
6549 The article made a good point. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6550 Yes mother, I know you warned me that divorce would be very painful. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
6551 I feel used. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6552 My phone has been Spinal Tapped. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6553 He said he has nothing but warm feelings for the company but I think he was just sucking up. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6554 Dr. Jones, I was just reading that fake news may be hazardous to our health. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6555 Hello, Lawers office? I believe I have been served papers from my back stabbing wife 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6556 She said if I talked to you for over an hour again, there would be consequences. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6557 I’m sorry sir, you’re stuck to your contract 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6558 I can never read her writing. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6559 She took off and left a note that’s unreadable. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6560 Sorry honey, but I can't remember where I put the shopping list. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6561 Hello 911 I am being held hostage and have a list of random demands 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6562 My divorce lawyer said they were going to stab me in the back. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6563 But your message said you'd get back to me. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6564 I got the point. Did you have to spell out all the details? 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6565 Your college tuition went up how much? 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6566 Hey hon, I still can't find your to-do list. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6567 I have a nagging feeling that she's going to backstab me with her demands! 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6568 Your ex stopped by. I don't think they're over you. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6569 I shouldn't have signed that prenup 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6570 Don't hang up,I've committed to it. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6571 There was a clear misapplication of the "force majeure" clause. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6572 Honey, have you seen the letter opener? 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6573 It's what's between the lines that bothers me. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6574 We’ll have to text or something. Landlines are apparently no longer allowed. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6575 Hello 911? Someone has planted something in my back. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6576 They haven't crossed my desk yet. 1.1176 0.08192 34 32 0 2
6577 Where's tha to-do list you've been on me about? 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6578 I received the summons, but I can't read the fine print. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6579 NSA is depending on you to quack this code. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6580 No, this one is different. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6581 My lottery winning wife just served me with divorce papers. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6582 It's nice, but it is in a Protestant neighborhood. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6583 Honey, I can't find that note you said you would leave for me. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6584 Yes, another secretary please. With L-í-f-e skills this time. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6585 Thank you officer. So your suggesting that I put up a sign that says, "Post No Bills! 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6586 God bless American people. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6587 Well, I haven't actually read the counteroffer yet; but I'm pretty sure I won't like it. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6588 911? Luther stabbed me with theses. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6589 I have a few questions about your user agreement. 1.1176 0.08192 34 32 0 2
6590 Never mind; cancel my call to rewrite. I'm getting the hint that it's too cloak and dagger to report. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6591 She said my criticism was penetrating, but not as deeply as hers. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6592 I've got the report in draft but let me take another stab at it. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6593 I got this to do list that's really bothering me... 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6594 Hello, Amazon Key; this is not what I had in mind. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6595 She loves the diamond engagement ring but the prenup, not so much. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6596 Turns out she's a real, um, betrayer. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6597 Et tu, Bouquet? 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
6598 I'm scared, honey. They say if I don't give in to their demands, they'll reveal me as the fake I am. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6599 Apparently, the kids are demanding we get rid of the landline. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6600 I must admit, you have a funny way of delivering my divorce papers. 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6601 Are you SURE you left a note?? 1.1176 0.05609 34 30 4 0
6602 I'd like to upgrade my online presence. 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
6603 Hey, Martin, can you delete a few. My back is killing me. 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
6604 I just got served and her divorce lawyer is a real killer in court. 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
6605 Post-its are so passé. 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
6606 My 2nd-Amendment-loving neighbor apparently didn't care about my right to life. 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
6607 Yep, she stuck me with tax duty again this year. 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
6608 Yes mother, you were always right about her. I just got the divorce papers. 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
6609 Sorry to tell you this but I didn’t finish our group project. I know, I just backstabbed you. 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
6610 Hello, newspaper? A time traveler just stabbed me and pinned my own obituary to my back, but I'm still alive so you might want to stop the presses and change the article. 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
6611 What's bothering you now? 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
6612 The president reminds you he'll fire every last one of you if don't make full use of the new 280 character limit. 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
6613 She's insistent, that I sign the prenuptial agreement! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
6614 I don't care if they said my back is as stiff as a board. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
6615 Tell her she forgot her shopping list. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
6616 Thanks for your support! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
6617 Is this knife in the back are us? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
6618 Up front. Down front. Whichever. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
6619 No, it's illegible. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
6620 I need to cancel my tee time. I've been stuck with a honey-do list. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
6621 I can't afford the doctor, that's the point. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
6622 Actually, I saw your takeout menu when you left it in my mailbox last week. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6623 Honey, I understand your note says you're leaving me. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6624 Yes, Martin just posted his thesis, but his GPS was not working. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6625 I think she was trying to make a point. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6626 Subscriptions? I want to change my cancellation of home delivery to the week after Christmas. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6627 You can call it a "request" for payment all you like. I still call it a demand and I still want to talk to your manager. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6628 So, you're wife just hands you the paper without all the theatrics? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6629 I think we should talk, I'm feeling stabbed by your letter. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6630 I'm having that stabbing sensation again. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6631 Like I said, I'm not registered with either party. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6632 I'd like to leave a message on your Comment Line on how you should rethink how you do your back orders. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6633 I know we don't have an appointment today, doc, but I have the strangest feeling people have been kicking my ass all day long, 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6634 I simply asked for the WIFI passcode. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6635 So, I got your message… 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6636 Hi, darling ... where did you put the to-do list? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6637 Your tax cut bill for the middle class feels like a knife in the back. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6638 Why yes, the new guidelines have been posted. Apparently, despite my position, I'm to keep my hands to myself. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6639 No, it was not a text or an email message. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6640 No thank you. We're strict Lutherans. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6641 Did you mean to reply all? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6642 Jack, tell me again where you stuck the honey do list. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6643 He said he was a descendant of Martin Luther but that he couldn't afford an airplane ticket to Wittenberg. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6644 No… my contract tried to terminate me 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6645 I don't know what they're asking for, you advised me to avoid service and that's what I did. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6646 Hello, 911? Martin Luther just posted his 96 theses between my shoulder blades, I'm agnostic but I think it's very unfair. I am very open to alternate faiths. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6647 Based on the method, and the lyrics it may have been The O'Jays. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6648 Susan finished another draft. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6649 It's a kickstart me. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6650 “Yes, you’re right! My back’s up! But what are they saying behind my back? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6651 I think I have a coupon. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6652 The mailman was really eager to give me the news 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6653 No, not exactly, I don't the head office said they would back me. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6654 I think I should back off of dinner tonight, Lydia. Today I received my peer review, and apparently, they'd like to vote me off the island. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6655 I feel I may have forgotten about an unpaid bill. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6656 How do I know if it’s an emergency? I can’t read it. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6657 Turning off the Internet did not work. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6658 Hey boss...remember when you told me to bring the contract in for approval even if it is the last thing I do? Did you mean that literally? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6659 I've been backstabbed by the news. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6660 Jim Mackall, I need a lawyer. My back stabbing wife just served me divorce papers 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6661 She literally stabbed me in the back with divorce papers...I am using it correctly! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6662 I want to report a virtual saber media attack 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6663 so what's wrong with certified mail?" " so what's the problem with certified mail? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6664 I was of the impression that the charges would not show up on my credit card bill. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6665 Yes. About your ad? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6666 Yes, I'd like to speak to the head of the advertising department. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6667 Your mother just delivered a poison-pen letter in person. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6668 It's over-she found your letter! 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6669 It turns out Martin Luther’s descendant is my new delivery boy. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6670 I would have waived if you served it by mail! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6671 Well that's the sticking point... Legally, I am not allowed to tell you what happened. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6672 I don't think that non-disclosure clause covers this. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6673 Have your ever felt stabbed in the back by a pen pal? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6674 Mother, I have a message for you. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6675 My cell phone contract requires me to use a landline while indoors. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6676 Divorce is certainly one way to reform your marriage. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6677 Can I call you back later? I'm stuck on something right now. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6678 No, you're right I should have stopped by to see you in Palermo. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6679 I'm calling to cancel my subscription. It just tried to cancel me. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6680 Why couldn't she use an adhesive, like any normal person would? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6681 911? I am staring at a still life with a want ad stabbed in my back. Help. Thanks. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6682 If your deliverymen can't keep the newspaper out of my azaleas, I want them fired! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6683 And if you don't give me what I'm asking for, then I get it! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6684 Yes, it's a real emergency. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6685 We were watching that Luther documentary when she jumped up screaming, "Here are MY (ital.) 95 theses!" 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6686 I have a feeling I shouldn’t be telling you all this. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6687 Yes I received your letter: it was very much to the point. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6688 Is it too late to change my pizza order from medium to small? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6689 I never thought you would go behind my back 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6690 Sorry. Got to run. My paper boy is here to remind me that I owe him for last week. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6691 I would like to complain about my last phone bill. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6692 I said I got the point, Phyllis, but do you seriously expect me to read all this? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6693 I pirated the software, sure, but there's gotta be a better way to deliver the end-user license agreement. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6694 and some “ stick it to the man” to go with my order of Kung Pao 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6695 You'll no why, after you read the fine print. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6696 I just got an offer for the co-op that we can’t refuse. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6697 Officer, some idiot stabbed me with some papers, and yelled, 'HERE I STAND.' 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6698 It was thirty years ago, but she’s holding me to it. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6699 Honey. Where did we stick the ToDo list? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6700 I don't even want to tell you about the weekly insert. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6701 Why yes, she served the divorce order personally. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6702 I think she wants me to do the groceries. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6703 No, he didn't like it all when I suggested his knife-in-the-back metaphor doesn't work. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6704 Yes honey, I did get your reminder about our pre-nup. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6705 I’m just received some bad news Doris. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6706 No Honey.. .where is the shopping list ? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6707 No, I don't remember it al all! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6708 Serving divorce papers has reached a whole new level! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6709 If you want to evict me that's fine, but don 't stab me in the back! 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6710 Your opening paragraph was very to the point. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6711 Joe, couldn’t you send a memo in the usual way? The o 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6712 I had a bad day at work... 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6713 I made some revisions. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6714 it feels like a stabbing pain... and a laundry list of other symptoms 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6715 Hello police? I think my tax returns are trying to kill me. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6716 Apparently there are a few items on my Honey Do list you REALLY wanted done! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6717 You forgot to add milk? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6718 Trust me, I’m pretty sure she’s filed for divorce. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6719 99 theses, she said! 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6720 Why can't your mother text or e-mail her complaints? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6721 I think it's about the Feminist Reformation....... 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6722 She just gave me a list of demands and left. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6723 Well, mom, you did teach me that honesty is the best policy. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6724 No, Junior ... there’s no turning back now. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6725 She left before I could thank her for responding to my petition in a timely manner. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6726 95 reasons why he left 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6727 Yes, it's imperative this charge be eliminated from our bill. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6728 I want to report an attack by Martin Luther! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6729 Yes, Wittenburg. With a W, as in wurst. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6730 No, I don't need an indian chief, I'm not joking. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6731 “Did you post the bulletin to the staff? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6732 You needed to stab four inches lower and to the left. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6733 What do you mean, "No backsies?" 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6734 911? My wife just stabbed me with divorce papers. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6735 I'm not sure whether service was personal or posted. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6736 I am sorry Fred, but I have to go. Zelda just posted another to do list. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6737 He said no to advertising on-line. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6738 ...but what really hurts is you demanding sole custody of Mister Poodles. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6739 Yes, hello.. I am starting to feel gouged by the cost of my data plan. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6740 Et tu, Schrute? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6741 What's new? Well, I just hung a new painting. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6742 Sir, the ad was for a 'Black Sabbath' cover band. Oddly, I think you're qualified. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6743 I've been attacked from behind by "The New York Times." 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6744 I'm telling you bill the media is a back stabbing bastard. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6745 After our fight over DJ vs band ended in the emergency room, I should have anticipated her response to a pre-nup. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6746 Its my constitution doc, every since I took a knee at the football game I've had a pain in my back! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6747 I would like to report an erroneous posting of the Disputation on the Power of Indulgences 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6748 Pirate Supoenas? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6749 .....and you're eliminating severance pay as well? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6750 I'm taken aback by all the work I have to do. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6751 Well, in one way she got to the point but in another she could use an editor. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6752 Hey, it seems the "fake news" finally stabbed me in the back. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6753 I'm sorry dear but do you remember where you put the statement from my county club? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6754 On the count of three, duck. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6755 How do I know it's from your former husband, the Navy SEAL? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6756 Yes Dear,I found the honey-do list. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6757 For the ninety-fifth time, I protest! Why won't you indulge me? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6758 I'll feel better once I'm done with this paperwork. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6759 I think it might be a Dear John letter. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6760 I'm not sure but I think Lorena has just served me with divorce papers. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6761 I think I’ve just been severed with divorce papers. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6762 Mr. Luther, it would've been easier to read an inter office memo. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6763 And this is how our millennial birds spend most of their life. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6764 I've been stabbed in the back. I've been misunderstood. But it's a comfort to know my intentions are good. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6765 'I wish I could understand what's bothering her.' 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6766 I can't read your Post-It notes. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6767 When the newspaper delivery man gets crafty 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6768 …Why yes, a member of your compliance team delivered a hard copy this morning… Yes, I realize I clicked the little box saying ‘I have read and understand these terms’ but... No, as I tried to tell him, I have no firstborn…nope, never had kids… 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6769 My spidey sense tell me it leans more toward literary realism than erotic fiction. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6770 Honey, I know the divorce is nearly final, but... 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6771 Hello, police? Mark Anthony just passed by. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6772 Dr. Freeman? I'm ready to discuss my fear of I.T. now. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6773 You couldn't just mail my divorce papers! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6774 Honey, where is that to do list? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6775 Doctor, my irrational wife claims I'm insensitive. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6776 I can't find my to do list. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6777 It's stuck on a don't forget me box. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6778 I would be worried, but she thinks Martin Luther was a real hottie. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6779 My wife just filed her 95 theses for divorce. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6780 Thanks for the reminder. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6781 Hello, I'd like to complain about an overzealous process server. Yes I'll hold. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6782 I think Martin Luther is on the other line with his 95 comments. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6783 I'll need to get back to you on the contract. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6784 Hello? I just wanted you to know that I lost my job recently because a newspaper back-stabbed me. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6785 I feel betrayed by this request 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6786 This knife really hurts. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6787 No, I don't think my friend's email's been hacked. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6788 I realize I've been insensitive to your demands. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6789 Martin Luther dropped by. His latest gripes have to do with accountants. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6790 I read the whole page, but it wanted me to read more on the back. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6791 How was I supposed to know? No one ever reads those things. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6792 Well Doc, it's kind of like a stabbing pain in the middle of my back. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6793 I'm fine, damn it! Just send somebody over here ! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6794 I got the monkey off my back. But, I still have to deal with his list of demands. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6795 Don't worry, it doesn't bather me. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6796 It's just a scratch -- but the attached EULA is killing me. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6797 Martin's 95 chores before he accepts that tee-time. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6798 The papers are stuck around here somewhere. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6799 Have you seen that list of flaws you gave me to work on? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6800 It’s a pointed argument. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6801 My boss was extremely animated by my long list of improvement suggestions. But he quickly posted them just to embarrass me. I tell you this is not what I expected. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6802 No Edna, I don't need to read the fine print. I trust Walter completely. He would never stab me in the back. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6803 Sorry to drop out on you guys. I? was just handed the grocery list. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6804 ...and as for the validity of signing the contract... worth fingerprints? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6805 Sorry, but my wife cancelled my Twitter account. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6806 Can't talk now, I'm at a party. I'll call you back after I figure out what they wrote and pinned to my back. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6807 Actually, she dropped off her signed copies of the divorce papers just this morning. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6808 I get it that you’re very angry. But still Edith, there are other ways you could have served the divorce papers! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6809 I forgot to order the crab Rangoon again. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6810 I think my wife has left me to join a circus 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6811 My backlist is killing me! 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6812 Yes, Shelley. I get the obvious metaphor but you realize I have to sign these divorce papers, right? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6813 About halfway through the performance review, my supervisor revealed himself to be a hardcore Lutheran 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6814 I’ve had some difficulty changing our cellular service. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6815 Yes, I got your bill, but I really can't see how these charges add up. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6816 My name is Church and I'm trying to locate Mr. Luther. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6817 I hate these old school Lutherans... 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6818 Yes, please connect me with theses removal. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6819 Their parents crashed into windows. But this generation? Windows crashes on them. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6820 I know that I was a bad boyfriend, but I still insist that the singing telegram messenger went a little overboard while reading your "Dear John" letter to me. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6821 Hold on, I've got a really angry text. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6822 Yes, dear, it was some girl who says she knew me forty years ago. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6823 Yes, ninety-five theses... 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6824 My wife came out of nowhere and stabbed me in the back with the divorce papers... 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6825 No...no food order today. I'd just prefer you slide the menus under my door or put them under my windshield wiper. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6826 Do you remember how Luther attached his Ninety-five Theses to the church door? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6827 It sounds like a good deal, but I don't think I would be able to get out of my contract with our present phone company. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
6828 ...that's right, a complaint about a back charge. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
6829 I suggest the 30 year fixed rate. It’s very manageable, all things considered. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6830 I was standing in front of the door on during the Reformation Day reenactment. 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6831 I think divorce might be illegal again. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6832 Yes, dear, soon as I get the knife out 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6833 I've got 95 problems, but a stitch ain't one. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6834 Thanks for setting up the meeting. Martin Luther was just here to discuss certain proposed reforms. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6835 Your article about me was a stab in the back 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6836 apparently the fine print stipulates that I'm stuck with the contract! 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6837 "Yes, I've filled up the module and completed the procedure as indicated at the point 19 of 3rd (sub)paragraph of art. 3654...may I speak with an operator, now? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6838 I’d like to go golfing Mike, but Mary was kinda insistent that I knock a couple of items off of my todo list. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6839 Memo to self. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6840 So your saying that my best friend recieved the better contract? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6841 Have you seen my wife? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6842 "Doris, did you happen to take along my copy of our divorce agreement? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6843 Yes, I'd like to place a take out order, please. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6844 Indulge me a moment... 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6845 I’ve now experienced a whole new meaning to a Honey Do List. 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6846 Honey, do you remember Martin Luther? 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6847 She's a Lutheran. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6848 I just can't face going through with it. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6849 You said to deliver the picture...but i thought I'd wait around and surprise you with the the reviews. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6850 Yes, Mom, I've got the shopping list. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6851 And they stabbed me in the back with a student loan re-fi scam. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6852 Stab me in the back, why don't ya! 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6853 Yes, that's right. She stabbed my vows onto me. Will that help us in court? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6854 Marge, where did you put my to-do list? 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6855 I’d like a medium pizza with anchovies and ham. 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6856 This test is to figure out which one isn't a decoy. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6857 This caption is for the November 13, 2017 cartoon: "Aha! A case of Gerstmann syndrome." 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6858 Hello! John Doe Speaking 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6859 Just remember that I have your back. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6860 Send a horse and carriage. A poison pen letter has done me in! 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6861 Does this mean we forgo the prenupt? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6862 Yes, they're all calling you a quack, but I don't think you should take it personally. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6863 No not Lex, Martin 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6864 We have to stop seeing each other. Why? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6865 Remember when they used to pin a note to your shirt when you did something wrong in elementary school? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6866 If they really want to play this game, I say it's time to throw the book at her. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6867 I turned my back for one minute and someone tacked these theses on me. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6868 Bingo 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6869 Please stop sending mail through Fed-Ax 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6870 These terms and conditions really creep up on you 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6871 Yes dear, the kids are under control. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6872 Look, Jill, this is the last time you ask me to watch Martin Luther on a moment's notice. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6873 I'm not what I once was. 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6874 And how does soap make you feel? 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6875 Who would've thought those tax cuts would come back to haunt me? 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6876 - Yes, I want to continue this relation, but your wishing list makes me uncomfortable... 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6877 Got your letter pledging eternal devotion. Guess I hadn't told you my wife's name is the same as mine, "Chris." You know those letter openers shaped like little swords? Well, don't ever get one. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6878 I've looked everywhere but I can't find your "honey do" list. 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
6879 I’m sorry I forgot the milk! 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6880 Honey, where did you leave the grocery shopping list? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
6881 It's boilerplate and I'm not. 1.0938 0.06897 32 30 1 1
6882 My thoughts betray me. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6883 Dirk dropped off the papers 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6884 Honey, where did you leave the shopping list? 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6885 Yes, I do have the paper. I pinned it to my back. But don't worry -- it doesn't hurt at all. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6886 No honey, I made a list so I won't forget. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6887 They stole my furniture, stabbed me in the back and use the knife to hold some kind of a paper note. Hello Hello Hello anyone there? Guess I'll try my Senator. he says he's on my side anxious to help 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6888 Yeah!Luther struck again! ...This time with 100 Marketing Performance Demands! 1.0938 0.06897 32 30 1 1
6889 It feels like you're not genuinely interested in feedback on the bill. 1.0938 0.06897 32 30 1 1
6890 I knew she was serious about the divorce, but the skilled marksman was a surprise. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6891 Hi. I’m calling to cancel my membership in the Martin Luther Historical Society. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6892 Don't worry, she can't backstab me with the divorce papers. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6893 I asked her if she would miss me after the divorce and she said "Not if I aim carefully. You've been served." 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6894 Marty stopped by, jabbering something about indulgences. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6895 I declare that I need an ambulance. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
6896 Hon, remember I told you I thought I was going to get my walking papers.... 1.0938 0.06897 32 30 1 1
6897 "It's a mixed marriage. She's Lutheran. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
6898 Yes, I’ve received your message but there’s one sticking point. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
6899 I can't calm down. Why? Why? Why did I cross the road? (I'm sending this in now bc I just received my edition. That's how it goes living in rural PA.) 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
6900 No, I'm not the pope. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
6901 Mommy, she doesn’t want us to live with you. Oh, and about the pre-nup... 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
6902 They've posted 95 theses why the landline is obsolete. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
6903 I just asked if we could get the W2s earlier this year is all. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6904 I am sick of standing here getting stabbed in the back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6905 I'll be in later...I have a few errands to address at home. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6906 So, we got all our ducks in a row. Now what? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6907 Hello, can you connect me with the Newspaper Delivery Dept.? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6908 Now I understand what you meant by 'On this deal, I've got your back.' 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6909 Look, I know you're a Martin Luther fan, but you could have just told me. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6910 No, Officer, I cannot read what the paper says. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6911 Yes, I’ll be home for dinner... No, they’re still refusing my requests for more sticky notes. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6912 I don't *know* what it says. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6913 Honey? I can't find the divorce agreement. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6914 Call CNN and Fox! I've been hit with a knife between my left and right wings. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6915 Bill, I know you are an admirer of Martin Luther, but this is ridiculous. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6916 I’m tired of them making deals behind my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6917 I will offer a half-hearted apology in response to these false accusations if someone will tell me what I allegedly did. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6918 Where are the instructions you left me for using the washing machine? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6919 My wife is very strict about groceries. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6920 Hello, doctor? Yes, I'm calling to make sure knife wounds are covered by my HMO... Well, you see, I can't exactly read it myself at the moment. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6921 I'd like to subscribe to horticulture magazine. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6922 Honey, I can’t find my glasses. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6923 Sorry, hon, I never did find that grocery list. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6924 It's all explained in the suicide note. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6925 I got you bucket list. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6926 I'm returning again with another "honey-do" list as another "back" burden. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6927 Did circus knife throwers join your legal team? Because I think I just got subpoenaed. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6928 Technically I haven't seen it, so I don't think service was proper. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6929 Hold on I have the list right here. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6930 He was trying to send a message but he botched it. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6931 That article you wrote about me was just like a knife in the back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6932 My wife insists I NOT update my will. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6933 Yes. HR? I would like to file a complaint. This backstabbing form is missing a cover sheet. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6934 I know she dislikes me, but I'm not sure why! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6935 Please put Martin on the phone. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6936 I didn't realize that's what you meant by a back order. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6937 I can't help it, I miss her. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6938 Would you come over right away? I have an itch I can’t scratch. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6939 Marty, how can I respond to your theses when I can't even reach them? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6940 Yes, love, I got your list of things I've yet to get done. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6941 The condo homeowners made their point. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6942 Well, I'm sorry, I just haven't read your divorce conditions. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6943 Hello police, I've just been stabbed in the back by my co-author! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6944 I Get The Point ! Your check is in the mail . 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6945 I’m calling about the invoice you claim is overdue 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6946 I think he's trying to reform me. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6947 You left your calling card. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6948 Yes, I just got your note. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6949 Yes dear, but where did you put my will? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6950 Yes, I'd like to cancel my subscription to 'American Politician.' 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6951 She sounded kind of mad, but she said she would leave me a list. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6952 Sorry, I no longer sell indulgences. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6953 If I admit to being inappropriate in all those meetings with female colleagues, will I still have access to the company jet? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6954 Merriam walked out on me, but why I will never know. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6955 She wasn't kidding when she told me she was a strict Lutheran. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6956 'Well sir, they told me they werent sure they could solve the problem but would be happy to take a stab at it" 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6957 I have a few theses about where we went wrong. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6958 What do you mean? I’m not a back stabber. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6959 I won't be at the meeting today. My partner has posted immediate needs. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6960 My wife asking for a divorce is painful enough, but the way she stabbed me in the back with it really kills me. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6961 These misconduct charges will stick over my dead body. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6962 Hello? I’d like to report a misaddressed letter 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6963 Hello. I would like to report some cutting edge news. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6964 Shirley, the Excelsior claims they left me a newspaper, but I can't find it anywhere. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6965 Before I sign these divorce papers I need you to come get this shiv out of my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6966 I was pushing my lawnmower when I felt this strange stab in the back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6967 Everyone has his opportunity. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6968 I lost my honey-do list 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6969 Are you a digital immigrant? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6970 I am pretty sure it's a tax cut. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6971 I tried knife blocking, but it didn't work. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6972 Hi, hon. I just now received the suggested sublease changes. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6973 outch 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6974 You told me to express myself. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6975 Police? I’d like to report a religious fanatic in the neighborhood. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6976 I'M SORRY, HONEY. THE BOSS SAID I HAVE TO STAY LATE TONIGHT! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6977 I can't read it honey, but I think it's another late car payment notice. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6978 They say she took the divorce quite well. For me...not so much. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6979 No Mr. Attorney, my wife delivered the divorce documents by personal service. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6980 I'm giving you notice that I'm on notice. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6981 Hello Dear, I seemed to have misplaced your "to do list", and I have this nagging pain in my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6982 No, I didn’t see his face, but I may have a window to his soul. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6983 Sorry, dear...now where's that Honey-Do list? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6984 Don’t worry Harold ...I told you I’ve got your back. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
6985 That's right, allowing my wife to serve our divorce papers is unprofessional. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6986 My wife just personally served me divorce papers, and I'd like to speak to an attorney. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6987 Hey boss, someone stole my presentation. They stabbed me right in the back! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6988 I'm just saying that it seems like an odd way to send a late notice for a back surgery bill. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6989 Sorry, could you bring over a mirror? Can't read it with just one. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6990 I think I Martin Luther just mistook my back for the church door. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6991 Martin Luther stabbed me in the back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6992 Honey, I know your note's around here. I can feel it 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6993 Sweetie, where did you leave last month's honey do list? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6994 Honey, I forgot where you put the list of what I am to pick up at the grocery store. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6995 Hello, I want to report that I was stabbed by Pinterest. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6996 Please tell him i got the point, 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6997 Can I countersue? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6998 Hang on a second, I think this may be the guy... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
6999 If you didn't leave the message up front, then where did you leave it? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7000 hello 9-1-1 - She says I'm guilty of indulgences, "95" she said ...can you send someone over? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7001 I’ ve nailed it. I know who is responsible for that piece of legislation. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7002 Apparently my wife doesn't believe in indulgences either. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7003 Your collection calls are a pain in the back 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7004 I forgot to make nana’s condo payment. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7005 How shallow does it have to be? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7006 Work Comp, please. Yep - White House. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7007 I have a very strong feeling that I can't go today. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7008 Hey listen, that wasn't my Yelp review! I actually thought the bouillabaisse wasn't quite salty enough. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7009 In lieu of. a Scarlet Letter- I have to wear a copy of my Wife's Divorce Decree. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7010 The second paragraph,is "to whom it may concern" concerning me? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7011 Note 3 says change the kitty litter. Do we have cats? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7012 Honey, don’t worry abou the “to do” list; I’ve got your back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7013 Never mind Wikileaks, hasn't he heard of anonymous hate mail? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7014 A no fault divorce is not in the picture. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7015 Mr. Luther? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7016 Do you sell back scratchers with a mirror attached? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7017 STIll life redux 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7018 Got your text. Is that a new emoji? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7019 I know, I know mother, I’ve lost my job. Trump argued that he didn’t need a written strategy longer than 280 characters. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7020 Laura must have filed for divorce; I just received a copy of the pleading from her lawyer. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7021 Do you take personal checks? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7022 I am calling to cancel my subscription. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7023 I'm hoping it's my honey-do list. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7024 I don’t know why someone would want to hurt me. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7025 I'd like to rent a billboard. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7026 This is why people read the news online. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7027 He's still at Worms--oh wait--I think he's at the door now... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7028 In the next ad, can you back off on the previous job experience requirements? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7029 Apparently I've been condemned 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7030 Forget mailing. They delivered the final settlement in person. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7031 I'm going to be a bit late today: I'm kind of stuck. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7032 I've been reminded to read the fine print. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7033 Listen Luther, this has got to stop. It’s getting out of hand 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7034 What do you mean it didn't go through? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7035 I understand why my alternate ego wanted to kill me off, I just don't get how he did the suicide note. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7036 I understand, Don Julio. The lawsuit isn't personal; it's just business. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7037 So...you've decided to take the smartphones? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7038 Hi, I'd like to be a bone marrow donor. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7039 I've been on hold a very long time, waiting for the paperwork you promised 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7040 Yes darling. I love being your pin-up boy. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7041 But mom? Her demands will be a death of me 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7042 Yes dear, I know you've always watched my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7043 I just heard from my wife's lawyers. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7044 I got the message. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7045 Trust me ... you don't want me signing up for the Family and Friends Plan. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7046 Yes, Doc, they did stop talking behind my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7047 Have you seen my contract? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7048 Urgent Care: Ever since I gave my wife the grocery list, I've had this stabbing pain in my back! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7049 What time is "V for Vendetta" playing? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7050 Doctor, my back hurts. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7051 Yes, your text was to the point, but I think you're still missing the heart of the matter. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7052 My mission statement says it's got my back 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7053 Then she stabs me in the back with her 95 theses of divorce 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7054 My wife just returned the divorce papers,.Returned with extreme prejudice. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7055 I've misplaced the directions to the chiropractor. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7056 Would now be a good time to use one of those ‘I statements’ you were talking about? 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7057 OK, and water the orchid too. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7058 Your son, 'Martin the Back Door Man Luther' just posted his Ninety-five Theses on our lack of parental indulgences. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7059 I'll leave you a note. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7060 Amazon? How long does it take to get a mirror delivered by drone? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7061 I think she didn't like my apology note. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7062 Honey, I can’t find our will... Yes. I swear I’ve looked everywhere. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7063 Well I'm sorry Martha, it's not my fault this time. You didn't leave a note with the time your mother would arrive. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7064 Elaine, do I look like the Pope? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7065 Evidently, my wife’s Twitter account crashed again 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7066 I can't find that note anywhere. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7067 Cold calling. Love calls. For a wallflower, they're one and the same. Where's my script? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7068 I am stuck behind with these reports ! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7069 The divorce decree was rather old testament. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7070 I cannot find the to-do list you left for me 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7071 Turns out The New Yorker responds strongly to poison pen complaints. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7072 I did not write “fake news”, but believe me, these people do not mess around. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7073 OK, alright already, I'll stop indulging you! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7074 She delivered the divorce papers herself and I think it's unlikely she'll consider counseling. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7075 Darling, I still don't know if I can have the kids for Thanksgiving or for Christmas? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7076 I just received my tax returns. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7077 May I please have the extension for the Swedish massage? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7078 You said never turn your back on good advice. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7079 It's really painful when a metaphor becomes actuality! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7080 I have reason to believe the back story truly is cutting edge. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7081 Hello, I'm calling to confirm that I received the summons for jury duty. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7082 Hello, Backstabbers Anonymous. Up yours! 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7083 Finally, I get your point. Can we discuss this dispatch NOW? 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7084 I feel like I'm working with a bunch of back stabbers. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7085 So you’re asking me Principal Rogers, of all people, where’s my son’s registration form? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7086 - Sorry! I feel I need to cancel my payment! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7087 I'm fine. Mr. Comey warned me to wear body armor. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7088 ... unfortunately I cannot come the phone right now. Please leave a message, and my lawyer will get back to you as soon as possible. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7089 Yes, Sir, I did get your point. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7090 Honey, have you seen my glasses? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7091 My wife has redacted the effective date of our Will. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7092 Hello, Hunt 'Em Down Process Service? Yes, well I'd like to lodge a complaint about one of your over zealous process servers. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7093 "Yes, I need to speak to Dr. Brown immediately...stabbing pain in upper back...no, my first name is Luther. Luther Martin. Yes, I'll hold... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7094 Hi Doc, there's a spot on my back that itches that I can't reach! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7095 The nature of my emergency?! I've been served! Send a lawyer right away! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7096 Yeah, Doc, the delivery guy said he was from the IRS. But I'm sure it's not Trump's missing tax returns. It feels just like a bad attack of back taxes. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7097 I didn't read the small print. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7098 I’m sorry I criticized your exuberant use of caps lock. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7099 No. It HAS'NT sunk in yet. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7100 I swear I only received the first notice! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7101 I'm reporting a missing delivery today. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7102 Yes, police? I have reason to believe that there is a cell phone contract out on my life. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7103 Did you really have to cc me on the ninja memo? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7104 What's causing the pain? It's written all over my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7105 Yes I got your message and get back to you soon 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7106 I'd like to report a missing person. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7107 I’ll take another stab at it. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7108 Facebook says it's your birthday... 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7109 I'd like to make an appt to see Dr.Boyle , my wife says I'm having trouble remembering simple things. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7110 Remember when I told you this divorce made me feel like I was stabbed in the back? Well... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7111 No, It didn't work out. He said my resume needed to be stronger. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7112 You're just too demanding. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7113 Is this Emergency Corkboard Repair? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7114 Hello, New York Times? I have a sensational back story that just might pique your interest. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7115 It’s not even so much the physical pain, but it’s the list of all of my passwords. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7116 Yes, I am Mr. Allsaints Church, but this game is pure indulgence. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7117 She’s demanding inner spiritual repentance. Simple confession isn’t going to do it. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7118 Hello, I just got stabbed in the back by an insurance bill. Am I covered? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7119 ...and then I told him I only have a land line. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7120 I'm getting hate mail from my best friend and my ex-wife. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7121 It's all the reasons you love me? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7122 Oh, I dunno... some Luddite bitching incoherently about Post-It notes... call you later; my back is killing me... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7123 She was mad when she left and I can't find the note. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7124 Dorthy, they said absolutely they will not deliver! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7125 Yes. I have the signed divorce agreement. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7126 No, theses, not feces, and it's pronounced Vorms with a V. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7127 911? This is Mr. Wittenberg. I'd like to report a hit-and-nail... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7128 My taxes were supposed to be lower. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7129 The acupuncturist stuck me with a big bill and my back still hurts! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7130 Do you ever make house calls? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7131 Hi honey, have you seen that confidentiality agreement I signed at the white house the other day 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7132 What the duck? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7133 Hi, this is Mr. Bulletin for a 6am wake-up call. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7134 911, I got stabbed in the back, can you send an ambulance? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7135 The O'Jays on line three? Sure, transfer them in. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7136 I would have preferred a rain check to a back order. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7137 Well, she stabbed me in the back again Mom.....but at least this time she left me my favorite recipe. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7138 No Officer, I haven't received a demand for ransom. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7139 Yes I do need an appointment. I have this sticking pain in my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7140 Apparently, our door is made of steel, so she improvised. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7141 Yes, that's right, I'd like 95 orders of your Mac n cheese. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7142 The worst part is that I can't find the manual ANYWHERE! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7143 Which one of you is the class clone? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7144 Backsabbers Anonymous, this is John, how may I help you? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7145 I need to talk to a divorce lawyer 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7146 Yes, I have the painful documents. I just can't put my hands on them right now. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7147 911? I need an editor - hurry! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7148 I'm the messenger AND the message! Heed me, feed me, FLEE me! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7149 Is there any expression about which side friends stab divorce papers in you? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7150 Hello, I'd like to file a complaint against Amazon's in-home delivery service. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7151 No 911, I don't think it's just a warning. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7152 Martin Luther did it better 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7153 I’m told the note says “Hail Cesar!” 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7154 The artist said she REALLY wants me to sell her painting...or else. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7155 Yes, I have a last will and testament that my wife says needs to be notarized ASAP. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7156 May I speak to whomever is in charge of Home Delivery Please? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7157 Hello, All Saints'..? I've got another 10. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7158 I'm home early honey, it seems my employment separation was both literal and figurative. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7159 Your last text back was to the point. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7160 My wife made it very clear that the contract states you shouldv'e had the work done by now. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7161 Hello, Martin Luther hotline? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7162 Hi, this is Frank, I just left your restaurant an hour ago. Did anyone happen to find a knife and some papers? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7163 What part of the shirt off my back did you not understand! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7164 You see Jim, the only reason that witticism works at all ... is because, monkeys have fingers. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7165 Hold on, there's someone at the door 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7166 Send her some flowers with explosive colors. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7167 I haven't had a chance to read the small print, but I think I've just been evicted from my body. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7168 No, Martin Luther isn't home now. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7169 Of course I’ll remember. Your messages really stick with me. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7170 yes, i have a copy of the warranty handy...... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7171 Well doctor, it's feels like a stabbing pain and only happens when I give my plant manager a performance review. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7172 He's just got his own bloody mind. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7173 What the duck? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7174 I said, "Alexa, buy me a knife." Then she stuck me with this End User License agreement. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7175 Martin? This is Mr Wittenberg. Your protest is acknowledged. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7176 No Helen, I did not keep all our refrigerator magnets! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7177 There's one screensaver of a hunter. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7178 “The monkeys have finally finished Shakespeare. We need the Iliad, the Odyssey and the Epic of Gilgamesh from you ducks.” [the woman is speaking here] 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7179 Oh sure, attendance is good now. By second semester they'll all headed south for spring break. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7180 Because this time of year we get a lot of duck calls. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7181 Layoffs? That's for the birds. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7182 I think the first item on my "honey-do"list says to call my doctor. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7183 Insensitive? A space cadet? Me? So sue me. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7184 No honey, she just desagree in one point but almost signing... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7185 I was just served a surprising divorce action by my conniving wife's lawyer. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7186 Yes I got the divorce papers, Gwen. Your mother just dropped them off. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7187 I can't spare 15 minutes to save on my auto insurance. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7188 No, it wasn't a friend. They only stab me in the front. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7189 Ducks are the only ones applying to work in this administration. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7190 I haven't a clue. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7191 Theses? I always thought it was feces. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7192 This is what happens when you spend all your days reading a newspaper ! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7193 I'm calling about my recent cancellation of the tip for my delivery guy. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7194 I seem to have a painful loophole. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7195 Honey, what do you mean it's in the newspaper, I need that knife right now. This is exactly why I think our marriage is not working out 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7196 911? The news is that I have a stabbing pain in my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7197 Yes, my head is still screwed onto my neck. Now where did you put our grocery list? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7198 I said post it with slack, not stab! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7199 I can't believe you'd say that. I literally feel stabbed in the back right now. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7200 Yes I've been served. She actually served me the papers personally just after she packed and before she left 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7201 I'm telling you, this is proof that it's getting more difficult to get any volunteers to take any kind of survey. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7202 I suppose it’s pronounced “tilder.” 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7203 Honey, there's been a re-org! 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7204 What you mean I shouldn't have believed that my landlord practiced acupuncture? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7205 And then he slapped me with an injunction. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7206 Hey, honey, you know our shady mortgage broker. Uhhh,... you forget the payment this month?... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7207 Stop trying to make me take work home with me. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7208 Yes, Mom, I'm still wearing my Halloween costume. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7209 That to do list you gave me is giving me a stabbing pain in my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7210 I’ve been asked to deliver a manifesto. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7211 What paragraph about early termination fees? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7212 The silly cow said she'd bring the list right away 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7213 I don't think he accepted my offer 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7214 I didn't see the note. How did you know I have a pain in my back? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7215 It seems this happens anytime I tell people about a celebrity I respect 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7216 She staged something called a "I'm so sick of it intervention" with specific demands --- but then there was this sharp pain which made me believe she didn't really care about me answering. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7217 I never thought my wife would stab me in the back like this. Those divorce papers really hurt! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7218 Just wanted to let you know I got your message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7219 Is this Rosenblatt, Rosenblatt, Rosenblatt and Smitt? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7220 Hi, I'm calling to see if I can return the new Morrissey album? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7221 Yes, Doris, I was backstabbed by your divorce filing. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7222 No, listen to me, I said 'theses,' with a 'th.' 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7223 I am used to being knifed in the back but did you have to attach your shopping list? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7224 I'm skeptical a diet of worms is gonna help. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7225 It came by Amazon's Dagger-Drone Service, but I can't reach it. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7226 It's driving me crazy. I distinctly remember putting those contracts in a place I specifically wouldn't forget! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7227 The thing is, I’m not even Lutheran. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7228 I think I know who did it: Martin Luther! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7229 I'm in denial. I think you're in denial. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7230 I told my direct report that if he had a problem, he could upload his version of the incident to WikiLeaks for confidentiality 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7231 No, I'd rather not she specifically said :"I'll post the agreement so you won't forget it" 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7232 "Hello? Yeah, all our Santa Clauses are booked through New Year's. Oh, for the Church fundraiser? Tell ya what, we've got a killer Martin Luther impersonator. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7233 They smiled in my face; all the time they wanted to take my place. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7234 He stabbed me in the back, but he gave me 95 reasons. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7235 So, the divorce went well 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7236 I know who you’re looking for. He stabbed me in the back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7237 We can't see each other any more. My wife objects to our Indulgences. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7238 I got the message, the hard way. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7239 I can't find my to do list. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7240 It's in honor of Martin Luther 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7241 You're calling to notify me about changes in my Mastercard terms and conditions ? Somehow, I feel like I've been stabbed in the back! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7242 'Dear John' letter? What 'Dear John' letter? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7243 Mom! I think Carole is serious about divorce this time... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7244 I've got 95 problems, but you're the only one I care about. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7245 Don't miss today's paper; it's a real killer. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7246 I have some newspapers pinned on my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7247 This is Peter. If you'd like to leave a message, do so at the sound of the beep. It's the only kind I'm accepting now. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7248 Our Complaint was served and yes there is a counterclaim. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7249 Yes, he literally stabbed me in the back with the new contract. And yes I mean literally. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7250 Honey, have you seen the chopping list? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7251 My wife never lets me leave the house without a 'honeydew' list. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7252 Hi, hon. Have you seen my to-do list. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7253 Toilet paper? Okay, I'll add it to the list. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7254 I think the divorce was the right decision, Kelly was getting to be a real pain in the back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7255 Look, we're done here. Every time we talk, I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7256 Yes, your fiancé, my ex-best-friend, did serve me the divorce papers. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7257 When are you going to build the freakin' wall? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7258 Phone call to landlord: " Good evening, do you really think this eviction notice is going to stick (no pun intended) after I call 911 and report an attempted murder?" 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7259 I can read you her message, but I should warn you, it's rather pointed. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7260 Did you say 'doom service'? Oh. That explains it. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7261 I told you Darling that I should never have gone to work for FOX News. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7262 No, I have not yet had time to read your demands 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7263 I think I finally got a backup plan! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7264 Betrayed? Of course I don't feel betrayed. I'm staring at a pot left to piss in as we speak. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7265 He said it was a part of your contract. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7266 I got him five years, fifty million, plus a bonus if he wins the Super Bowl. He seemed disappointed. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7267 I appreciate the flowers, though somewhat premature. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7268 Hello Credit Bureau Help Desk?? Yeah, I'm having problems reading the fine print 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7269 Your delivery man was very rude in asking me to sign the receipt. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7270 Hello, oh I'm fine it's the only way I can get some attention. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7271 I think it's a list of things I do she doesn't like. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7272 Hi, I'd like to make an appointment with the marriage counselor. My wife says she has something urgent to say that may be very cutting and I can feel her pain. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7273 I have been looking Dear- I can't find the list anywhere! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7274 I'm returning your message. Just want to say I'll take a stab at it. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7275 If I lie down on the floor, I'll get your instructions for while you're gone? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7276 Yes, I'm accepting the contract under much duress. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7277 My doctor told me that it takes a long time for knife wounds to heal 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7278 I'd like to speak with your delivery department, please. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7279 Yes. One 'L'il Hoodlum Fully Stocked Gym Bag' to be delivered within 2 business days. Thanks. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7280 Words cannot express how happy you have made me, right down to the bottom of my heart. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7281 Hi Mom, you know how you said when Dad did something that upset you you would write it down and leave it on the kitchen counter for him. Well I tried it.... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7282 Dearest, I can’t find your shopping list!! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7283 Honey, your credit card bill is killing me! 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7284 He would stab me in the back to win the contract 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7285 Your To-Do list? I haven't seen it yet, Dear. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7286 I don't remember you told me to by a steak. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7287 Marge, I'm not amused by your lawyer's tactics. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7288 No, mom, I still haven't signed the divorce papers. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7289 Your assessment of my cartoon caption was like a stab in the back. 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7290 Lucky ducks! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7291 That sounds like a great offer, but I already have a two year contract. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7292 Yeah I got the divorce papers, but its pretty hard to sign them when they are delivered like that! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7293 I think I've got a mosquito in my back. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7294 Well, I'm here. But I think I just found a problem with your plan. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7295 “The press aren’t backstabbers” they said... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7296 Hello, Reverend Luther. This is your neighbor, Bill Churchdoor. We need to talk. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7297 All I heard was 'Me too!' 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7298 Yeah, she's angry that I wouldn't sign it . . . But walking away is what brought out the daggers. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7299 Yeah, the paperwork is a pain, but it's more that they stab it into my back with a knife. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7300 There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7301 You did what? Send it by ninja? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7302 When I said "leave a message," I meant on the phone. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7303 So, your reference letter stabbed me in the back . . . 1.0714 0.07143 28 27 0 1
7304 The doctor said this is immersion physical therapy, I can do the exercises when I can reach them. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7305 I prefer I thought he was a front stabber, but I haven’t yet read the explanatory essay. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7306 I'd like to report a back-stabbing. Literally. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7307 It's not gone too deep, yet. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7308 Hello, Wittenberg Urgent Care? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7309 Yeah, he’s a Lutheran! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7310 How do think I feel?! My wife’s left me and I just got served with papers!! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7311 Is this my lawyer's office? You gave me a great Prenup. Can you arrange for a Post-Nup? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7312 Just because I didn't sign the petition!! 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7313 Yes dear the shopping list literally has my back 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
7314 I'm afraid she doesn't fully understand the concept of 'texting' someone. 1.0690 0.06897 29 28 0 1
7315 If he’s back by nap time I’ll ask him if they’re effective immediately. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7316 I'll get back to you. I just got another call. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7317 Well, Doctor, the pain feels like a knife between my shoulders. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7318 I've contracted a case of divorce. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7319 9-1-1, my wife got tired of showing me the honey do list so, now it is stabbed to my back! 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7320 Yeah, I know! My sexist ideologies are going to be expensive. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7321 Listen Bob, it suddenly struck me.... 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7322 Hello, Boss? Yes, ma'am, I'm calling in sick. My wife just gave me the grocery list and said it's my turn to do the shopping today. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7323 I have a feeling I'll find out soon. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7324 There's just a real sharp pain in my back, but I don't know what it is. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7325 My bad , I didn’t realize there was a Backstabber’s claws in my rental agreement 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7326 Yes, I'm ready to solve the divorce papers. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7327 911? This is the Pope residence and I’d like to report a Protestant reformation. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7328 Yes, hello; can you please connect me with the dish and the spoon? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7329 I'll be glad when Marcia's history book club gets past the Protestant Reformation. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7330 Can't find the list you left for me. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7331 No, Katrina, your husband just left ! 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7332 Hello 911? I need an attorney ASAP! I think I breached a contract. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7333 well I think the contract stabbed me in the back with a sting from a knife 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7334 I want to report cheating on 'Pin the tail on the donkey.' 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7335 When I took this position as a poster boy, nobody mentioned a scapegoat ... 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7336 Where did you put the divorce papers you said you would leave for me to sign? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7337 No, I hadn't heard the latest Executive Orders, why? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7338 My wife is not agreeing to sign the divorce papers. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7339 Yes dear. I will look in the mirror to be sure it's on your list. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7340 Fortunately the second mirror flips it back. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7341 Hello, is this "Laugh Your Way To a Better Marriage"? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7342 He said his name was Martin Luther 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7343 Can I get a Uhhh Fuckin Uhh Large Fry. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7344 I have to admit the manuscript makes a clear point. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7345 . . . yes . . . absolutely . . . I've always enjoyed lying for you . . . 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7346 You were right. My op-ed on back stabbing was strangely prescient. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7347 Yes, I now answer the phone. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7348 Hold on a moment. I think my wife wants me. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7349 That day would be a pain. Are you missing the backstory? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7350 I have a detailed doctor's note for that sharp pain in my back. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7351 Reading my Facebook newsfeed these days is like having a knife in my back. 1.0690 0.06897 29 28 0 1
7352 I'm having back problems, and I think my wife is cheating on me. 1.0690 0.06897 29 28 0 1
7353 My wife asked that I give you a call about some possible errors on our latest bill. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7354 Hello 911? I need to report the reciept my divorce papers 1.0690 0.06897 29 28 0 1
7355 Hi Honey, where did you say you left the grocery list? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7356 not sure of the time....my 'to do' list is pinned to my back 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7357 Julian, I might have something for you... 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7358 I said Trick. He wqas dressed like a monk and he said his name was Martin. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7359 Yes dear; I'll remember to feed the cat if it kills me. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7360 Damn you, Luther. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7361 "Tell my soon to be X-wife, I will sign the divorce papers that she just stuck me with". 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7362 Yes, Mom, you always said she was a back-stabber 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7363 Yes. A still life, but not for long. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7364 No, I don't have a cell phone. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7365 Of course I remembered to water the plants, but then there was this drought…. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7366 ......and then she said I was so thick-skinned and unfeeling, slammed the door and left. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7367 I thought I recognised the Repo man's face then it hit me 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7368 Why pelicans deliver babies but we do the paper work? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7369 I'm just going to copy and paste some Shakespeare so we can go home early. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7370 Have you read the new tax plan? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7371 Fine, Judas - be that way. But - Geez - can't you grasp the concept of allegory? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7372 911? My wife is missing and I have a stabbing feeling she she may have been kidnapped. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7373 Sorry.....We need to cancel our reservation! 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7374 Yes, I'd like to place an ad for a new butler. 1.0690 0.06897 29 28 0 1
7375 " I think I found them missing emails ". 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7376 I know I put that lisr somewhere. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7377 If this is your idea of dunning me ... it worked! 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7378 I don't think he realizes accord and discord are different words... 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7379 Call off your Ninja lawyer. I'll sign the divorce papers. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7380 Is this Ninja Asian Delivery? ... Yes, I already have a menu. 1.0690 0.06897 29 28 0 1
7381 Yes, as a lawyer, I know about serving papers by "Nail & Mail", but..... 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7382 I must have been standing by the wrong door on Martin Luthers 500th. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7383 I was just minding my own own business and someone pinned a contract on me. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7384 My wife leg me a note this morning, what a back stabber 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7385 I know the horoscope said that Pisces shouldn't go outside, now can you please help me? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7386 911 . . . it feels like there's a knife in my back! 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7387 I’ll have to cut this short, so let me get back to you. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7388 Ok, I'll sign. Where did you leave it? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7389 Yeah, but the joke's on her - she can't legally serve me the divorce papers herself. 1.0690 0.06897 29 28 0 1
7390 Hello, is this the patent office? I have this idea for a note that has some sticky stuff already on it. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7391 Of course I've seen it - I'm looking at it right now! 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7392 Can't we at least talk about this? 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
7393 I think you're taking 'habeas corpus' too literally. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7394 I got your offer and the answer is still a maybe. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7395 She’s nailed me! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7396 Hey Lenny, it’s Phil. Looks like I’m going to need your services. My wife just served me divorce papers. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7397 I would like to complain about your over zealous subpoena server 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7398 I have to go, I just got some hurts-mail 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7399 You telemarketers never call at a good time. Right now, I'm busy figuring out if I have met my health insurance out-of-pocket deductible. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7400 I'd like to speak with my attorney. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7401 It's a pretty posh place. Even the muggers issue receipts. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7402 I think that I just got the message. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7403 Can you read? Can you come over to 123 Elm Street? Now? Hurry. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7404 Yes, hello...I'd like to cancel my subscription to your "Lutheranism Today" publication. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
7405 No you have the wrong number...Martin Luther is my brother! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7406 I said, “no harm, no foul” and then......... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7407 I thought you were going to fax those documents but this will work as well. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7408 Forget monkeys and typewriters. The Great American Novel will writen by ducks and laptops. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7409 Hi honey, please stop smiling in my face just before leaving. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7410 Given your method of delivery, can we still call it a "Dear John" letter? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7411 Now, that's a stab in the back! 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
7412 So, we’re just going to pretend we know what they’re saying? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7413 When you don’t pay the chiropractor on time. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7414 Yeah, they got me back. Stuck me with a subpoena. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7415 My backstabber likes to be formally noted. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7416 ?????????????????????? daydream ????? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7417 I’m pretty sure that there is nothing in the penitential canons that is relevant to staying out past 11. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7418 No, I can't read between the lines of my wife's divorce filing. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7419 I probably shouldn't have said, 'I'll take a stab at it'. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
7420 Yes, I'm the one that told Donna Brazile about how Hillary Clinton stole the election from Bernie. I'm lucky to be alive. Any more questions? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
7421 I really don't want a subscription. Print is dead. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7422 Yes, I'm calling from my room at Motel 666 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7423 Honey, I've got this aching suspicion that I've forgotten something on your grocery list. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
7424 The 95 Theses as imagined by The O’Jays. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
7425 I'm going batty. I misplaced the stuffing recipe AND the carving knife. My headaches gone though. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7426 What happens when the marshals repo your angel wings 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7427 Et tu, IRS? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7428 Your last bill was like a stab in the back! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7429 You'll never guess where I found it. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
7430 I think you missed! 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
7431 Sure, let me just grab a pen... 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
7432 HR? There's some backstabbing going on here! 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
7433 He said he had ninety-five theses but a Rick ain't one. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
7434 I see you've put the research ducks online. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
7435 I've just been trolled by an angry geriatric 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
7436 John asked his wife "Where did you say you left the divorce papers?" 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
7437 Bob...no no....he got the message 1.0606 0.06061 33 32 0 1
7438 You got my back, all right! 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7439 Her words cut me like a knife. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7440 The divorce papers? They're right where she left them. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7441 Sorry, I’m going to have to hang up. Marge just sent over the divorce papers. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7442 My wife wants me to cut the cord on cable. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7443 “So I said, ‘Read the fine print before you kick me.’l 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7444 No, I don't know what the note says, Helen. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7445 I went too literal. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7446 You also took the mirror 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7447 I dunno, I think she's pretty serious about me signing the divorce papers. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7448 My name is William Penn, and I have just been stabbed in the back by a little boy with an apple on his head...please hurry! 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7449 Hello, 911? I have an urgent message for the hospital director from my wife - but I'll need an ambulance to come and get it. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7450 I think she wants me to start doing more chores around the house. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7451 Honey, where did you put my list? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7452 Congress' changes to the Affordable Care Act? No, I haven't seen them. Why?" 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7453 Hello, Comcast? I have grievances. That's right, 95 of them. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7454 I guess I should have gotten her that bulletin board she asked for. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7455 Thanks for the heads-up, I'll be watching my back 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7456 I know I stuck that letter somewhere 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7457 Yes Dear, I'll start on the to do list as soon as I get back from the Chiropractor. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7458 Yeah... apparently, the wife found out I was cheating on her. Let me clean up a little. I'll be right over. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7459 Have you seen my cloak and dagger? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7460 They warned me about people like you. I'll feel like I got stabbed in the back & then you'll vanish! 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7461 robot,yes,but I have a mind of my own,,noAI 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7462 Yes, we celebrate Martin Luther, but you get an F. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7463 Thanks for the test-drive today, I really enjoyed the roadster. However, my wife wasn't quite as enamored with the car as I was. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7464 I'll get right back to you. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7465 Yes, that's right. He broke in through the back door, knocked me down, and yelled "I am Martin, and you will deliver my 96th thesis to the world!" 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7466 No, the paper never got delivered today. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7467 Hi Martin, I think you made a mistake. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7468 I don't care what are you saying, calling you is in my To-Do list 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7469 I can top that—my ex-wife's lawyer has the world's worst process server. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7470 Honey, what did you do with the grocery list? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7471 Hello, Post-it Company? Product Development Department, please. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7472 My doctor said insurance will cover it. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7473 If you didn't see the delivery or touch the document, service is probably ineffective. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7474 I resent this...I have always been in favor of free speech! 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7475 I'm going to need your help with filing the petition. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7476 . . . a bald guy, shaved head. Kept yelling something. It kinda sounded like "species " or "feces," I think. It was weird . . . 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7477 Can't talk right now, just got stabbed in the back. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7478 I will never call the Psychic Hotline again. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7479 I have some questions about the efficacy of this "be your own lawyer" packet I ordered... 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7480 Et Tu, Brute? But over a shopping list? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7481 The proprieties have been observed and honour satisfied Honeybuns. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7482 You've definitely gotten to the heart of the matter. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7483 Has my brother-in-law with the Martin Luther complex escaped again? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7484 I seemed to have misplaced the dorsal papers again. Should I take off my pants and embarrass myself? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7485 Yes honey, I forgot where I put it. Remind me. What's #1 on my to-do list? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7486 I always said that prenup was going to stab me in the back. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7487 I'm used to backstabbing at work, but at least they don't 'bore' me with stupid grievenses. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7488 I didn't see it coming. Janell wants a divorce and the flower painting. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7489 I'm just getting to your 'Honey Do' list, dear. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7490 Hi Tom. My Hi Tom. About the proposed to the Hi Tom. About the proposed division of Cynthia's and my assets. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7491 Tonight’s HOA meeting has a backstabbing agenda. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7492 They took advantage of my long back-waist length to issue a decree. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7493 I just received the subpoena from my x-partner! 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7494 Why is it I'm always the last one to know? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7495 Tell my lawyer he forgot to include a "no back stabbing" clause. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7496 Yes dear . . . . . . . . . . . . No dear, I HAVEN'T read it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Because, . . . .I CAN'T SEE IT !!!! 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7497 It's actually the back pages I find most troubling 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7498 Doctor? I have pain in my back and the weight of reform. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7499 They're learning about the Reformation and apparently she finds my parenting unjust. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7500 I told you, Martin, you have to bring your list to the church. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7501 It's my honey do list. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7502 Why do I always have to add my name to the ghost written fake news? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7503 Doris. I found that poison pen letter. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7504 'Room service operator please, I've been 'Operator, I've been stabbed in the back by a legal server'. stabbed in the back by 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7505 She'll eat worms for this. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7506 Is this India I'm calling? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7507 Ow! That does it; I'll never again empty the garbage or clean the cat box. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7508 Could you buy some Post-It notes on the way home? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7509 Hello, Don Rickles here. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7510 Small print? I didn’t notice any small print. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7511 You really need to re-think how to get the legal waiver to the participants in your knife-throwing act. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7512 It wasn't intentional. She was trying to nail her 95 theses to the door. Please hurry. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7513 It's a skin magnet, something new she's trying. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7514 Just found out my cell plan doesn't allow for a landline. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7515 Who's your process server, Virgil "The Turk" Sollozzo? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7516 I need you to tell me some painful news. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7517 Everyone at the law office was kicking me today. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7518 Do you remember where I stuck my speech for tonight's Alzheimer meeting? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7519 Time share, cell phone contract, gym membership, marriage, herpes, tattoos, incumbent member of Congress, I'm starting to see a common theme here. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7520 The response? A good old-fashioned trolling. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7521 Yes, I received your demands, but now I can't find my knife. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7522 I was a jerk, Margaret, but I've gone through quite a reformation. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7523 I just remembered what I needed to tell you. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7524 I'm not a door, Martin. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7525 The divorce proceedings didn’t go as planned! 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7526 Wanna freak out the entire room? Log onto aflac.com. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7527 FBI? I need to pass on a message from someone called Luther. ... He said you'd know...Five foot tall, Russian accent. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7528 Uh yeah, I can do that. Um, first...let me grab a sheet of paper. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7529 Yes my Dear, I know you would never back stab me with that prenup agreement! 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7530 OK, the wife found the ad. I'm applying for the job. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7531 It's from Louie. Now he says he actually DID do it. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7532 Counselor, is service of process properly effectuated if it's accompanied by aggravated assault? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7533 Absolutely! For all those John & Jane Q. Publics out there, his latest appointment is yet one more stab in the back.... 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7534 "Just leave it at the office?" Right. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7535 I don't know for sure, but I think someone is avoiding a face to face confrontation with me. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7536 So my boss says to me, "I don't have your back. You look like a real plant to me..." 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7537 Please remember to like and subscribe. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7538 I know that I promised! Please remind me where you put that to do list? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7539 You left in such an angry mood I forgot where you put the divorce papers. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7540 I feel like the phone company has read our texts. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7541 This new Taylor Swift album is really good. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7542 Dear, about that honey-do list... 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7543 Yes, nice to hear your voice too. So your profile says you have a rapier wit. Um, kinda random question but... 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7544 I've been googling around about this, and I found some rather alarming blog posts, so I have to ask: Is this one of those sharia law things? Am I a Muslim now, Doc? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7545 I’m going to kill myself if I don’t find the to do list 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7546 They told me to put it in a safe place when I signed up, but now I can't find it!! 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7547 Do Not Call Registry? I'd like to go back to receiving robo-calls. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7548 Enough already 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7549 Mom, she has filed for divorce. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7550 Hey honey, I got Joey's Christmas list. And listen, no more war games. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7551 Is this Dr. Luther...Dr. Martin Luther, the spinal reformation specialist? Are you sitting down? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7552 Honestly, I don't know how I lost your letter. It's a pain in the back. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7553 Harry's House of Boats? My wife asked me to call you to cancel the order I made Saturday for the Pro King 5000 Bass Boat with Fish-o-Rama Vision. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7554 I guess asking for the software user agreement in full was a bad idea. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7555 The prices at this hotel are so high I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7556 Just a minor disagreement with your mother. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7557 Hello? I ordered the death note on DVD not on my back. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7558 Is it spelled L-u-t-h-e-r or L-u-t-h-r-e? 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7559 I was just talking about poor Harvey. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
7560 You'll never guess who just served my eviction notice...the Grim Reaper" "The Grim Reaper just served me an eviction notice....he has a new job now that Hell is redundant" "so my wife just found out about decades of sexual harassment....#metoo! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7561 Weird, actually. A guy on the street told me it was time to get my PSA tested. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7562 My process is 100% analog. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7563 Where did you put the divorce papers? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7564 Please call me back ,someone stabbed me from behind 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7565 You could have at least left me a note before you ran away with my best friend.. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7566 I'd like to cancel your "Very-Hard-Copy Messaging" service. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7567 I may have taken method acting a little too far this time. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7568 It’s the law... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7569 I'm afraid she ghosted me. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7570 I'm having trouble reading the divorce papers she filed. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7571 I am looking at the bright side--now what? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7572 I’m not interested in a cruise! Please take me off your calling list. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7573 2 Egg Rolls, Beef with Pea Pods, Pressed Duck, Sweet and Sour Shrimp, No MSG, and hurry! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7574 This is last minute but ... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7575 In addition to my father's house, I am inheriting his cruelty. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7576 You could have just Snapchatted me. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7577 Call me spineless if you wish... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7578 Hi, 911. No it's not really an emergancy; it's some grievances. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7579 "Pun Hotline. She stabbed me in the back when she served me the divorce papers". 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7580 I told you the newspaper would stab me in the back. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7581 These acupuncture bills are really starting to needle me. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7582 Yes, my wife left a reminder to call you back. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7583 Uh, Doc? I may have misunderstood... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7584 I know your my wife's attorney but your messenger has a lot to be desired. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7585 Why no, I was never notified of any emergency Board meeting. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7586 Hello. Bar Association? I think my divorce attorney is having an affair with my wife. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7587 Let's back in to my agenda 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7588 Yes.. IRS? I got your message.. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7589 I got doxed. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7590 Well, it turns out Helen does have some thoughts about you bringing your ventriloquist friend to Christmas dinner again. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7591 She posted her 99 theses 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7592 Yes, Jimmy finished his Christmas list, but I'm not sure you should start shopping right now. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7593 You stabbed me in the back with a 'Dear John' letter. Too many literal idioms really grind my gears. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7594 Hey this is Academia, the 95 Thesis just came in. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7595 I told him I was going to recuse myself from the investigation and he said he was sending the papers right over. So much for loyalty. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7596 Police? Some backstabbing SOB stole my plan for world peace! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7597 Those hidden fees really stabbed me in the back. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7598 I put the landline phone in this morning. These cell phone charges are killing me! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7599 I'm calling to renew my subscription. I'm sorry it lapsed. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7600 Hello room service. This is NOT how I wished to be served. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7601 Yes, we did receive the paper, but he missed the lawn.” “yes, we did receive the paper, but he missed the lawn, again 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7602 Thanks but I don't need reminding to take out the trash. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
7603 Is this proper service 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7604 Would you let me know if Martin Luther wants his Theses, back. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7605 No I didn’t real the small print 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7606 Congress just stabbed me in the back with my health care plan and I want to know if my policy covers attempted murder? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7607 Sweetheart, I can't seem to find the "to do" list you've left for me. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7608 Don't worry, I have a plan to get the word out! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7609 I am taking ABACK by your demands. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7610 Hello Dr. Smith? What are the chances of seeing you next week? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7611 It's not you, it's me. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7612 Thank you, but it appears Thanksgiving just served me. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7613 Honey, I think that 30 day preview period for that new pirate internet company is up! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7614 "As far as I know they didn't give me anything to sign". 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7615 You have seven more sessions before the Super Bowl, if you still intend to join the office pool. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7616 OK, OK, I see your point. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7617 They don’t believe I’ve reformed. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7618 Sorry, Bill. They've made it abundantly clear we won't be paid for our services. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7619 Concerning truth in billing? Yes. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7620 Technology, as you see, enables our carrier pigeons to work from home. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7621 'It's time to cut the cord,' she said. So I got her a cell phone. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
7622 "Yes 911, I have a Dear John letter attached to my back and a sharp instrument holding it in place." Joe Pitts, Washington, DC 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
7623 No, I can't read the message. It's stuck on my back. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
7624 Next time I'll read the user agreement. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
7625 My Credit Card Number? 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
7626 Dear, I'm looking for that to-do list you left me. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
7627 Save the flowers until I really expire! 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
7628 Notify two departments, but send the ambulance first, and forensics second. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
7629 No, I haven't been following the news at all! 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7630 Honey, I lost the bills again! 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7631 Yes, mother, I received your letter in the mail. Yes, mother, I put it where you asked. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7632 Officer, "sharpen the knives" was at the top of honey-do list. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7633 What happened? Well, I have ninety-five theses . . . 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7634 And my wife selected the Gong Bao Chicken. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7635 Is there the White House? I want to ask the President, wether tere is a job for my wife ! 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7636 I told you thirty times to make a shopping list! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7637 I followed your suggestion that I put in writing the ways we could understand one another better? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7638 Help! 911! I would like to request an ambulance, I’ve been back stabbed by the New Yorker. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7639 I’d like to report a missing knife and recently amended revocable trust. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7640 It's just a letter opener, she didn't mean any harm. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7641 ... and the Lutharns are proselytizing again. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7642 I've been stabbed in the back by someone who disagreed with my article in the New Yorker. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7643 I've just been stabbed in the Summons! 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7644 I have a question about my call-waiting. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7645 Hello, Lutheran Church in America? Mr. Luther was just here. Apparently he didn't like my recent article regarding his 500th Anniversary and I'd like to register a complaint. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7646 Believe me, the ninety-five theses were stuck to a door. The knife in the back was a metaphor not to be taken literally. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7647 I'd like to cancel may subscription. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7648 My wife has just delivered her 95 Theses. The knife is in my back. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7649 I got your point...but good 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7650 I'm sorry, was that your message I received a while ago? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7651 Those backstabbers wouldn't accept my resignation. Apparently I'm to valuable to the company. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7652 A criminal informant just gave me a copy of the Paradise Papers. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7653 Yes, but who really reads the legal fine print? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7654 Ok, so I don't text, but I still get mail. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7655 Hello, I'm calling because I'd like to be removed from your mailing list. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7656 I'd like to order a full length mirror. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7657 I only cancelled my ads on Hannity because it's hard to sell hoverboards to his demographic. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7658 Ever since they appointed that sheriff from the circus, it has been impossible to evade service of process. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7659 Ha 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7660 I still can't understand why she left me, nether why i've ever since been a stomach sleeper. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7661 Sir, You have a what stuck in your back?!?!" "A knife, I'm a democrat, I'm used to pain. You can send someone now, Blue Bloods just came on. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7662 That's just background news. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7663 I had no idea you were still upset, Eleanor, but did you have to out me on #MeToo? After all, it happened 30 years ago. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7664 Honey, where do you keep the stain remover? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7665 --some fanatic with a hammer shouting about 'articles'. And he's near-sighted to boot. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7666 Yes,Al, your collector was just here and yes, he did leave a payment schedule. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7667 Yes, I'm a columnist. I'd like to report a missing wife. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7668 I think my voicemail box is full. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7669 Hey toots. Can you get me a new shirt? Some sweetthing in research just ripped my shirt with 95 things she “feels” I harassed her with. Don’t worry, it didn’t break my skin. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7670 Yes, I just received the list of demands. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7671 You really got me with the painting. Classic misdirection. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7672 A Martin Luther lookalike has pinned some additional theses to my spine. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7673 Obviously it's not a cast iron contract. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7674 It's the page I put in the suggestion box explaining how we could meet all our goals if senior management just took a pay cut. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7675 No, I am not imagining this. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7676 I don't know, Bob, he called himself a "modern day Martin Luther for American politics" 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7677 Yes Rose. I am too dull and not sharp enough to deal with text messaging. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7678 Let me tell ya, it was a real punch to the gut. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7679 I’m redlining it now. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7680 I'd have preferred a wake up call 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7681 I thought that someone had my back, but I failed my defense. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7682 Hi, yes, I'd like to order 95 pizzas for Marty Luther. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7683 Yes, you're right, this #metoo is killing us 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7684 I lost hope at 'Bird Rule'. Even for the elephants. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7685 There's been a mistake; my thesis is on corruption in small town libraries. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7686 I love to crap! 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7687 Martin Luther residence, XXVII speaking. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7688 911? I'm stuck reviewing the back pages of my insurance coverage. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7689 Nope. Haven't seen your cloak. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7690 Yes, Officer, she did threaten to pin the grocery list to my back. I did not think she would follow through. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7691 She insisted that I get life insurance... 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7692 Did I leave the letter of recommendation you gave me on your desk ?. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7693 Mr. President, I've been asked by your Evangelical base to forward a few policy suggestions to you for consideration. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7694 I did say I wanted us to be on the cutting edge backing up data. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7695 Yes, I'm certain we can rule out the Mooch. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7696 Just another day at the office. Why do you ask? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7697 Does this hotel offer theses removal? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7698 The letter was behind my back, but I got its point. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7699 Hey boss, I just wanted to let you know that I'll be coming in on Saturday to work extra. I just have so much work pinned on me right now. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7700 Yes, I understand you're leaving, but why so sneaky and I can't even read your note. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7701 At least, I've got my back covered.... 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7702 She didn't email the divorce papers this time. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7703 Darn right I think we should jettison the landline provider. Also, we need a new bulletin board. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7704 Not only did my wife backstab me, but she also sent over the divorce papers. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7705 No Mom, I’m not avoiding you. I swear I didn’t get you’re note. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7706 Honey. I think I've become a bulletin board, again! 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7707 Your latest article was on the backstabbing side... 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7708 My wife insists that I look for a better paying job. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7709 Honestly, I think a singing telegram would have been more on point. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7710 I tell you, Martin Luther was here. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7711 I am not Leonardo da Vinci. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7712 Mr. Snell? My wife delivered her response to our suggestions. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7713 I just want to make sure that you received my letter of non consent. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7714 Yes, Your Holiness. That’s right. He said there were ninety-five of them. No. Not a manifesto. Theses, he called them. Can you see me this week? Sepsis, yes. It’s a concern. Yes. Thursday’s fine. See you then. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7715 No, I haven't got to your letter yet but I sense despair 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7716 No, I have not removed your note yet. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7717 ... but I've put all that behind me now. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7718 I wish you could rate process servers like you do Uber drivers. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7719 We need to change our party mascot! They used me to pin the tale on a donkey! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7720 I’m calling about these back-charges. They’re killing me! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7721 I'm guessing she wants a divorce. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7722 Honey, I woke up this morning really knowing we could work this out. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7723 Hello, EHarmony, it didn't go so well. She pinned her review on my back. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7724 You could have just emailed the divorce papers. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7725 I have a stabbing feeling that my rights have been violated. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7726 If they don't let us out of here soon, I'm going to lay an egg. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7727 For some reason, I always feel that people are backstabbing me. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7728 No, as a matter of fact, you may not have a few minutes of my time. We are trying to enjoy our dinner. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7729 Operator! Do you have any listings for knife removals? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7730 He said his last name was Luther! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7731 The New Yorker struck again. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7732 Is it racist if I say they all look the same ? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7733 Honey, I feel a little weak and I won't be able to make dinner. They gave me an urgent manifesto at my conference. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7734 Yeah, after the crying it will be all over. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7735 I was told to deliver the note to Mr. Mueller in person. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7736 Honey, where did you leave that to do list ? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7737 I'm sorry Jim I can't go bowling, the wife made a shopping list and she's insistent that I go to the store. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7738 Apparently I forgot to order one that was organic AND free-range. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7739 My wife likes your new idea fot post it notes,I’m not so sure 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7740 I’d like to report an attempted murdlasphemy. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7741 Doc, I've been stabbed in the back again... 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7742 A few of your buddies, they sure look shady......... 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7743 Got it, I've been selected 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7744 She said if I didn’t switch to a cordless phone she wouldn’t start using thumb tacks. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7745 Honey, why did you leave? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7746 Hello, Police! I want to report a backstabbing lawyer. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7747 My wife really wants me to purchase the armoire in your ad. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7748 About this service of process..... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7749 We won't need that Right of First Refusal" clause. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7750 Remind them not to rush on the exam; we checked the weather and they have another two days. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7751 Row three, far right - that duck is not paying attention. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7752 There's one in every flock. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7753 When I tell them to search the web, they just stare at their feet. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7754 When you see something you like, don't Quack. Click oh Buy Now. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7755 The final exam is no time to lay an egg. (note this is my answer for the Nov 12 deadline before 9PM My guess is that you did not set your clockm to standard time 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7756 So far, just a lot of hunting and pecking. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7757 Don't look now but check out the quacks 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7758 I know it's my fault I didn't read the small print, but now I feel like that contract is stabbing me in the back. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7759 How long will it take the hackers to realize we are just a bunch of sitting ducks? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7760 She took my cell phone, Rolex and our bed. I wouldn't be surprised if divorce papers are next. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7761 Hi, Honey. I’ll keep looking for your “to do” list after my nap. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7762 I think I'm entitled to a replacement, but I can't find the cell phone contract anywhere. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7763 Birds of a feather 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7764 I have the shopping list, but there are some items I can't quite make out 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7765 Stop with the notes. There are better ways to tackle our landscape issue. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7766 Only after they have filled out their online registration forms are we allowed to take them to the lab. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7767 Yes, the point of my new contract has greater back end incentives. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7768 The knife thrower missed again 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7769 Honey, we're being evicted. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7770 Yes, a very perfiftent and infinfere falefman, who really ftuck it to me. Not knife at all. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7771 Pamela, how long has it been since we paid the rent? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7772 Yes, I'd like to order the "Let's Get Started with Carrier Pigeons" kit. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7773 It's pretty issue he stabbed me in the back 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7774 How could I read your demands when you stabbed them into my back? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7775 Yes, sergeant, I’m pretty sure it was Luther — that’s my thesis. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7776 Honey, do you know where I left my dagger? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7777 Honey, I can't find the grocery list. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7778 ...and salami. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7779 Where did you put my memoir draft? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7780 Yes honey, I'll get the groceries 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7781 I thought it was a shopping list, but because of where she put it, I am not sure. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7782 One if by land, two if by sea. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7783 Hey Tom when you said signing that life insurance contract would stab me in the back you wasn't lying. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7784 Yes, I got your notice to increase my cable bill today 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7785 Sorry can't read backsided! 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7786 Your rejection of my manuscript feels like a stab in the paperback. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7787 What's my Emergency? My partner decided included a stab in the back in the appendix of my dear Dear John letter. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7788 Yes, I would say you put "too fine a point on it." 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7789 It looks like I will need a new job... When? Tomorrow, definitely. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7790 I know my wife says I make a better door than a window, but this isn’t funny, Herr Luther. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7791 It's 2017. Would you start rage tweeting already? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7792 I found your "To Do" list. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7793 My wife said to take a message or she'll kill me. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7794 Are you sure this costume is going to get a laugh with my fellow attorneys? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7795 I'm gonna get back to work 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7796 Yes dear - I got the loan and I have the signed documents 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7797 I hate him. He’s always stabbing me in the back... 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7798 I know you had to rush out to meet your lawyer, but I need to know where you put that knife you had sharpened last week? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7799 I got your solar contract. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7800 Can I get another copy? I seem to have lost mine. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7801 That's the second shirt ruined this week. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7802 You made your point and I'll get back to you on your list of grievances. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7803 Next time you want to discuss our issues, please tell me to my face instead. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7804 Our son seems to have 95 theses about bedtime. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7805 Yes Sir, the check's in the mail. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
7806 Hold on, let me get a pen and paper. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7807 Just send an ambulance and don't worry what her manifesto says. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7808 Honey, I just got the bill from your acupuncturist. These sessions are bleeding us dry. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7809 Special delivery? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7810 I’ll get right back to you with the report. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7811 The media did it to me, again 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7812 I told your mother I'd start on her list after my golf game; by her reaction you'd think I'd been selling indulgences. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7813 Where did you say you put the “Honey-Do” list, dear? 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7814 It's not so bad, but I'm just worried about the next 94. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7815 I'm so glad you were able to vent your feelings on paper. I'll have a look-see and I am sure next time we will have a very constructive dialogue. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
7816 911, I'd like to report a possible assault. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
7817 Hello, Job Service? It has been suggested that I contact you about a job opening. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
7818 It was an unsolicited manuscript. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0