Rank |
Caption |
Mean |
Precision |
Total votes |
"Unfunny" votes |
"Somewhat funny" votes |
"Funny" votes |
0 |
It's not so much what she said as how she said it. |
2.0651 |
0.01404 |
3135 |
873 |
1185 |
1077 |
1 |
No, my wife served the papers personally. |
2.0381 |
0.01714 |
2256 |
706 |
758 |
792 |
2 |
I'm pretty sure it's a final notice |
2.0340 |
0.01423 |
3027 |
877 |
1170 |
980 |
3 |
...oh, and there's a note from your mother. |
2.0126 |
0.01487 |
3025 |
993 |
1001 |
1031 |
4 |
‘Sharply worded’ would describe it. |
2.0048 |
0.01398 |
3117 |
942 |
1218 |
957 |
5 |
Actually, I would like to shoot the messenger. |
1.9829 |
0.01425 |
3220 |
1080 |
1115 |
1025 |
6 |
Hi honey, we just received the new Republican tax plan. |
1.9780 |
0.01873 |
2041 |
753 |
580 |
708 |
7 |
Well, it doesn't feel like a metaphor. |
1.9728 |
0.01450 |
3050 |
1020 |
1093 |
937 |
8 |
Yes, I am painfully aware of your terms and conditions. |
1.9591 |
0.01585 |
2421 |
787 |
946 |
688 |
9 |
What I had actually said was "Take a stab at it and get back to me" |
1.9553 |
0.01468 |
3000 |
1040 |
1054 |
906 |
10 |
I have reason to believe that my wife found our love letters. |
1.9412 |
0.02411 |
1105 |
389 |
392 |
324 |
11 |
At least she didn’t use bullet points. |
1.9351 |
0.01508 |
2852 |
1023 |
991 |
838 |
12 |
And I said, "Divorce papers? Why not just stick a knife in my back?" |
1.9153 |
0.01736 |
2148 |
794 |
742 |
612 |
13 |
To her credit, she did leave a note. |
1.9080 |
0.01410 |
2977 |
1030 |
1191 |
756 |
14 |
I'd like to switch to paperless statements. |
1.8986 |
0.01569 |
2711 |
1056 |
874 |
781 |
15 |
Turns out they CAN pin it on me |
1.8876 |
0.01545 |
2660 |
1010 |
939 |
711 |
16 |
The stress is bearable, it's the paperwork that's killing me. |
1.8859 |
0.01767 |
1989 |
744 |
728 |
517 |
17 |
I think we can rule out reconciliation. |
1.8835 |
0.01521 |
2558 |
923 |
1010 |
625 |
18 |
I've just received some painful news. |
1.8808 |
0.01690 |
2123 |
785 |
806 |
532 |
19 |
I'm sorry, but Emma and I won't be able to make it to your murder mystery party. Clever invitation, by the way. |
1.8778 |
0.01504 |
2758 |
1049 |
997 |
712 |
20 |
She knows. |
1.8644 |
0.01528 |
2855 |
1171 |
900 |
784 |
21 |
My wife served the papers herself. |
1.8553 |
0.01783 |
1969 |
779 |
696 |
494 |
22 |
No, I can't sit back and relax. |
1.8170 |
0.01600 |
2393 |
992 |
847 |
554 |
23 |
I got your text but I’m having trouble with the attachment. |
1.8091 |
0.01785 |
1959 |
834 |
665 |
460 |
24 |
I wouldn't say it went well, but she did sign the divorce papers. |
1.7947 |
0.02058 |
1359 |
559 |
520 |
280 |
25 |
Remember when we thought there couldn't be anything worse than his tweets. |
1.7762 |
0.02025 |
1497 |
664 |
504 |
329 |
26 |
All I can say is that I did not see this coming. |
1.7758 |
0.01740 |
1896 |
804 |
713 |
379 |
27 |
No, I haven't read it but I get the point. |
1.7648 |
0.01665 |
2032 |
867 |
776 |
389 |
28 |
I think the worst news is behind me. |
1.7647 |
0.02052 |
1373 |
596 |
504 |
273 |
29 |
I can’t read it, but I got the message. |
1.7552 |
0.01657 |
2096 |
922 |
765 |
409 |
30 |
No, I haven't read it yet, but I get the point. |
1.7552 |
0.02398 |
960 |
411 |
373 |
176 |
31 |
Yes, well I'm afraid I'm not in any position to read the fine print just now. |
1.7505 |
0.01692 |
1940 |
841 |
742 |
357 |
32 |
........ all I said was "You know where you can stick it." |
1.7435 |
0.02020 |
1501 |
701 |
484 |
316 |
33 |
Turns out the pen and sword are about equal. |
1.7427 |
0.02405 |
1026 |
470 |
350 |
206 |
34 |
I need to order some Post-It Notes for my wife. |
1.7384 |
0.02636 |
822 |
370 |
297 |
155 |
35 |
I was under the impression that the writing would be on the wall. |
1.7352 |
0.01890 |
1673 |
780 |
556 |
337 |
36 |
You were right. She didn't like the pre-nup. |
1.7318 |
0.01823 |
1734 |
794 |
611 |
329 |
37 |
So she said, ‘How can I convince you that I am filing for divorce?’. And I said, ‘Take a stab at it.’ |
1.7284 |
0.01862 |
1786 |
861 |
549 |
376 |
38 |
'Yes doctor, you could call it a stabbing pain." |
1.7274 |
0.02458 |
939 |
429 |
337 |
173 |
39 |
Your last letter really hurt. |
1.7269 |
0.02169 |
1223 |
564 |
429 |
230 |
40 |
The good news is she finally signed the divorce papers. |
1.7234 |
0.01860 |
1670 |
777 |
578 |
315 |
41 |
No, it's not the handwriting that makes it difficult to read. |
1.7206 |
0.02189 |
1181 |
545 |
421 |
215 |
42 |
What are you going as? I'm the Wittenberg Church door. |
1.7150 |
0.02886 |
751 |
372 |
221 |
158 |
43 |
I don't see why you can't leave notes on the fridge like everyone else |
1.7115 |
0.02033 |
1383 |
652 |
478 |
253 |
44 |
I think we’re past mediation. |
1.7105 |
0.01994 |
1375 |
632 |
509 |
234 |
45 |
Please remove me from your mailing list. |
1.7009 |
0.02868 |
759 |
384 |
218 |
157 |
46 |
No, I mean literally. |
1.6904 |
0.02442 |
998 |
499 |
309 |
190 |
47 |
Man, these back taxes are killing me. |
1.6871 |
0.02168 |
1259 |
631 |
391 |
237 |
48 |
Can't talk right now, I'm stuck with some paperwork |
1.6853 |
0.02160 |
1217 |
597 |
406 |
214 |
49 |
The prenup is signed. How quickly can you draw up a will? |
1.6847 |
0.02959 |
666 |
332 |
212 |
122 |
50 |
i'd like to switch to paperless billing please. |
1.6765 |
0.02789 |
782 |
405 |
225 |
152 |
51 |
I can't read it. But I feel it's bad news. |
1.6732 |
0.02228 |
1074 |
519 |
387 |
168 |
52 |
She got the house, and I got stuck with the mortgage. |
1.6722 |
0.02812 |
717 |
359 |
234 |
124 |
53 |
I'd like to switch to your paperless billing option. |
1.6683 |
0.02456 |
1025 |
543 |
279 |
203 |
54 |
It's an advance copy of the new Republican tax plan. |
1.6667 |
0.02501 |
1005 |
539 |
262 |
204 |
55 |
No, I wouldn’t say the prenuptial discussion went well. |
1.6657 |
0.02329 |
987 |
484 |
349 |
154 |
56 |
I received some painful news. |
1.6650 |
0.02420 |
976 |
497 |
309 |
170 |
57 |
Yes, I’m pretty certain she just served me with divorce papers. |
1.6594 |
0.02456 |
916 |
462 |
304 |
150 |
58 |
Why can’t you just text, like everyone else? |
1.6560 |
0.02507 |
878 |
445 |
290 |
143 |
59 |
So you filed for divorce behind my back? |
1.6560 |
0.02566 |
875 |
454 |
268 |
153 |
60 |
What really hurts is that you couldn't tell me to my face. |
1.6538 |
0.02547 |
855 |
436 |
279 |
140 |
61 |
I'd like to sign up for paperless billing... |
1.6498 |
0.02673 |
808 |
424 |
243 |
141 |
62 |
Yes, without a word. But she did leave a painful note. |
1.6485 |
0.03096 |
569 |
290 |
189 |
90 |
63 |
Yes, I'm sure the differences are irreconcilable... |
1.6461 |
0.02651 |
777 |
398 |
256 |
123 |
64 |
We need post it notes. |
1.6454 |
0.02634 |
767 |
388 |
263 |
116 |
65 |
Yes, I do think she really means it this time. |
1.6358 |
0.02790 |
692 |
358 |
228 |
106 |
66 |
Hello, 911? Hi, it's the middle class. I just received the House tax plan. |
1.6341 |
0.03420 |
533 |
299 |
130 |
104 |
67 |
I'd like to switch to online billing. |
1.6300 |
0.02921 |
654 |
348 |
200 |
106 |
68 |
Hello, I'd like to switch to paperless billing. |
1.6300 |
0.02961 |
654 |
353 |
190 |
111 |
69 |
Why yes, she did leave a note... |
1.6274 |
0.02887 |
636 |
331 |
211 |
94 |
70 |
Her divorce attorney is a Lutheran, I think. |
1.6272 |
0.03064 |
625 |
343 |
172 |
110 |
71 |
I'd like to start receiving my bill online. |
1.6258 |
0.03135 |
620 |
348 |
156 |
116 |
72 |
If I had to guess, I'd say that the divorce is contested. |
1.6254 |
0.03072 |
574 |
303 |
183 |
88 |
73 |
I can't read it, but I gather you're unhappy. |
1.6233 |
0.02864 |
600 |
303 |
220 |
77 |
74 |
Sorry, I can’t make it, I have a to-do list that is killing me. |
1.6227 |
0.03111 |
599 |
329 |
167 |
103 |
75 |
She wants either a divorce or Protestant reformation. |
1.6220 |
0.03131 |
590 |
324 |
165 |
101 |
76 |
She left me a very pointed note. |
1.6218 |
0.02971 |
595 |
311 |
198 |
86 |
77 |
Can I switch to paperless delivery? |
1.6205 |
0.03040 |
585 |
311 |
185 |
89 |
78 |
Mediation is probably out of the question. |
1.6152 |
0.03138 |
551 |
296 |
171 |
84 |
79 |
I got my performance review today. |
1.6133 |
0.03154 |
543 |
292 |
169 |
82 |
80 |
Tell the orthopedist the pain is back and I haven't seen the bill. |
1.6127 |
0.03149 |
537 |
287 |
171 |
79 |
81 |
So then I said, "Who leaves a homicide note?" |
1.6113 |
0.03336 |
530 |
299 |
138 |
93 |
82 |
Listen, it's not what you said, it's how you said it. |
1.6110 |
0.03163 |
527 |
281 |
170 |
76 |
83 |
I'd like to report an attack ad. |
1.6082 |
0.03336 |
513 |
286 |
142 |
85 |
84 |
Yes, I heard from her attorney. |
1.6082 |
0.03347 |
513 |
287 |
140 |
86 |
85 |
Signed, no. Executed, yes. |
1.6078 |
0.03270 |
510 |
278 |
154 |
78 |
86 |
I'd like to cancel our marriage counselling appointment. |
1.6075 |
0.03344 |
507 |
282 |
142 |
83 |
87 |
I need to get something off my back. |
1.6040 |
0.03313 |
495 |
271 |
149 |
75 |
88 |
She left a 'Dear John' letter. It really hurt. |
1.5987 |
0.03287 |
471 |
252 |
156 |
63 |
89 |
It's not the fine print that I'm worried about. |
1.5983 |
0.03441 |
463 |
257 |
135 |
71 |
90 |
I think she's serious this time. |
1.5960 |
0.03403 |
453 |
247 |
142 |
64 |
91 |
Agnes, I got your divorce papers today and I must admit they hurt me more than I expected. |
1.5942 |
0.03546 |
446 |
252 |
123 |
71 |
92 |
It's not the demands I object to, it's the way they were presented. |
1.5908 |
0.03438 |
435 |
237 |
139 |
59 |
93 |
I believe my wife chose to serve me the papers herself. |
1.5897 |
0.03599 |
429 |
243 |
119 |
67 |
94 |
yes, she left a note. |
1.5892 |
0.03604 |
426 |
241 |
119 |
66 |
95 |
It certainly doesn't feel like fake news . . . |
1.5892 |
0.03649 |
426 |
244 |
113 |
69 |
96 |
Yes, can you tell me how to unsubscribe? |
1.5892 |
0.03573 |
426 |
239 |
123 |
64 |
97 |
Yes, I think the divorce papers are still where you put them. |
1.5887 |
0.03805 |
423 |
252 |
93 |
78 |
98 |
Of course she signed the pre-nup, I have it right here ... |
1.5887 |
0.03466 |
423 |
230 |
137 |
56 |
99 |
I don't know what it says. That's why I need you to come over. |
1.5855 |
0.03617 |
415 |
234 |
119 |
62 |
100 |
No, I'm quite sure I selected email notifications. |
1.5850 |
0.03670 |
412 |
235 |
113 |
64 |
101 |
I have a hunch my wife found out about us. |
1.5837 |
0.03545 |
406 |
223 |
129 |
54 |
102 |
I'm going to need a paramedic and a divorce attorney |
1.5831 |
0.03600 |
403 |
224 |
123 |
56 |
103 |
Honey, it's backwards in the mirror. Can you just come home and read it? |
1.5810 |
0.03632 |
401 |
225 |
119 |
57 |
104 |
She left a note. No, I haven't read it yet. |
1.5802 |
0.03811 |
393 |
229 |
100 |
64 |
105 |
Next time just send me a text. |
1.5788 |
0.03551 |
387 |
210 |
130 |
47 |
106 |
What part of "literally" don't you understand? |
1.5788 |
0.03662 |
387 |
216 |
118 |
53 |
107 |
I haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty sure she wants a divorce. |
1.5755 |
0.03704 |
384 |
217 |
113 |
54 |
108 |
It feels more like a utility knife than a steak knife, but I could be wrong. |
1.5745 |
0.03643 |
369 |
202 |
122 |
45 |
109 |
It's a sharp pain in my back. I have a nagging feeling that there's more to it. |
1.5745 |
0.03803 |
376 |
216 |
104 |
56 |
110 |
Oh, so now I'm the one who's being dramatic? |
1.5745 |
0.03651 |
376 |
208 |
120 |
48 |
111 |
You said the instructions are on the back? |
1.5737 |
0.03920 |
373 |
220 |
92 |
61 |
112 |
Yes, she signed the papers. |
1.5737 |
0.03846 |
373 |
216 |
100 |
57 |
113 |
Of course I'm sure - she left a note |
1.5737 |
0.03846 |
373 |
216 |
100 |
57 |
114 |
It started it with a ‘kick me’ and it went downhill from there. |
1.5737 |
0.03902 |
373 |
219 |
94 |
60 |
115 |
I'm detecting a new level of animosity in the negotiations. |
1.5706 |
0.03706 |
361 |
200 |
116 |
45 |
116 |
You couldn’ta just texted me ?? |
1.5702 |
0.03911 |
363 |
212 |
95 |
56 |
117 |
The worst part is she moved out and stuck me with the lease. |
1.5699 |
0.03967 |
372 |
223 |
86 |
63 |
118 |
Mrs. Luther, your son Martin must learn to hand in his homework like everyone else. |
1.5698 |
0.04012 |
358 |
213 |
86 |
59 |
119 |
Didn’t read your note but got the point |
1.5694 |
0.03693 |
360 |
199 |
117 |
44 |
120 |
Hello Mr. Trump. My name is Willard Skivington from the middle class. I wanted to inform you I just now received a copy of your new tax plan. |
1.5686 |
0.04061 |
357 |
215 |
81 |
61 |
121 |
Let's just say she made her point. |
1.5682 |
0.03778 |
352 |
197 |
110 |
45 |
122 |
Can't play golf today. Jenny is kind of anxious that I finish my to-do list. |
1.5678 |
0.03783 |
354 |
199 |
109 |
46 |
123 |
I'm not sure what it says, but somehow I get the point. |
1.5674 |
0.03809 |
356 |
202 |
106 |
48 |
124 |
The New Yorker asked me to stop submitting cartoon captions. |
1.5670 |
0.04014 |
358 |
214 |
85 |
59 |
125 |
I don't know--a list of grievances, I think. She seemed angry. |
1.5661 |
0.03855 |
348 |
198 |
103 |
47 |
126 |
In life, Joe, there are to-do lists and or-else lists. |
1.5661 |
0.03702 |
348 |
191 |
117 |
40 |
127 |
No, I don't see any note. |
1.5658 |
0.05953 |
152 |
88 |
42 |
22 |
128 |
I've got a bad back, but there's a funny story attached... |
1.5621 |
0.04161 |
338 |
205 |
76 |
57 |
129 |
What to-do list was that, Hon? |
1.5618 |
0.03949 |
340 |
197 |
95 |
48 |
130 |
She got the house. I got the cutlery. |
1.5616 |
0.04189 |
333 |
202 |
75 |
56 |
131 |
No, negotiations did not go well. |
1.5602 |
0.03861 |
332 |
187 |
104 |
41 |
132 |
Can you come over? I need you to read something. |
1.5583 |
0.04080 |
326 |
192 |
86 |
48 |
133 |
Yes Officer Dibble, my wife has read the restraining order. |
1.5573 |
0.04015 |
323 |
187 |
92 |
44 |
134 |
I think my wife found out about us. |
1.5569 |
0.03949 |
325 |
186 |
97 |
42 |
135 |
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she wants a divorce. |
1.5569 |
0.03876 |
325 |
183 |
103 |
39 |
136 |
911? I'd like to report an ultimatum. |
1.5569 |
0.03997 |
325 |
188 |
93 |
44 |
137 |
It’s not what you said, it was how you said it! |
1.5562 |
0.04140 |
320 |
190 |
82 |
48 |
138 |
No, mother, this time I don't think she's coming back. |
1.5552 |
0.04025 |
317 |
183 |
92 |
42 |
139 |
I liked it better when she left notes on the refrigerator. |
1.5552 |
0.04099 |
317 |
186 |
86 |
45 |
140 |
Sorry I can't come, I've been stuck with the to-do list. |
1.5549 |
0.04006 |
319 |
184 |
93 |
42 |
141 |
No. Technically I haven't seen the summons. |
1.5549 |
0.04006 |
319 |
184 |
93 |
42 |
142 |
No, I'm not with the White House any longer. |
1.5538 |
0.04060 |
316 |
184 |
89 |
43 |
143 |
No -- no, I think it's too high to be sciatica. Feels more like a manifesto. |
1.5527 |
0.04189 |
313 |
187 |
79 |
47 |
144 |
The knife wound is minimal, but the words cut deep. |
1.5521 |
0.04076 |
317 |
186 |
87 |
44 |
145 |
That's right. She delivered the divorce papers personally. |
1.5508 |
0.04068 |
305 |
176 |
90 |
39 |
146 |
I wish he would go back to tweeting. |
1.5505 |
0.04152 |
307 |
181 |
83 |
43 |
147 |
It's not a metaphor, Operator. |
1.5505 |
0.03995 |
307 |
175 |
95 |
37 |
148 |
Sorry, I don’t have the exact figures in front of me. |
1.5498 |
0.03983 |
311 |
178 |
95 |
38 |
149 |
I’d like to report a backstabbing. No eyewitnesses but they did leave a note. |
1.5498 |
0.04137 |
311 |
184 |
83 |
44 |
150 |
It might be a toss up as to which one is mightier. |
1.5497 |
0.04072 |
302 |
174 |
90 |
38 |
151 |
Sorry I can’t, I just got stuck with some paperwork. |
1.5493 |
0.04132 |
304 |
178 |
85 |
41 |
152 |
I wouldn't call it a death threat as much as a manifesto. |
1.5482 |
0.04056 |
301 |
173 |
91 |
37 |
153 |
Does this mean it’s over? |
1.5470 |
0.04196 |
298 |
176 |
81 |
41 |
154 |
Well that's all fine and good, Lorraine, but the note is backwards in the mirror, so how 'bout you just tell me what it said? |
1.5458 |
0.04283 |
295 |
177 |
75 |
43 |
155 |
It’s not so much what it says as how it was presented |
1.5436 |
0.04235 |
287 |
169 |
80 |
38 |
156 |
Sorry, no golf today. Trudy just reminded me it's her birthday |
1.5436 |
0.04148 |
287 |
166 |
86 |
35 |
157 |
Apparently, they want the contract signed in blood. |
1.5436 |
0.04118 |
287 |
165 |
88 |
34 |
158 |
Your lawyer sent the divorce papers. |
1.5433 |
0.04353 |
289 |
175 |
71 |
43 |
159 |
Yes Jim, the divorce papers were served personally. |
1.5423 |
0.04298 |
284 |
169 |
76 |
39 |
160 |
Tell Mr. Mueller I'm ready to talk. |
1.5420 |
0.04188 |
286 |
167 |
83 |
36 |
161 |
I forget: Where did you leave my copy of our child-support agreement? |
1.5420 |
0.04188 |
286 |
167 |
83 |
36 |
162 |
No, I'm pretty sure it will be contested. |
1.5406 |
0.04252 |
283 |
167 |
79 |
37 |
163 |
She isn’t totally on-board with the divorce settlement. |
1.5406 |
0.04193 |
283 |
165 |
83 |
35 |
164 |
In this case, it's not what it says that hurts, but how they said it. |
1.5396 |
0.04370 |
278 |
167 |
72 |
39 |
165 |
Fake news. Real knife. |
1.5393 |
0.04135 |
280 |
161 |
87 |
32 |
166 |
I’d like to switch to paperless billing. |
1.5382 |
0.04437 |
275 |
167 |
68 |
40 |
167 |
Well, she signed the prenup. But she wasn’t happy. |
1.5379 |
0.04262 |
277 |
163 |
79 |
35 |
168 |
No, doctor, it's more like a stabbing pain. |
1.5368 |
0.04352 |
272 |
162 |
74 |
36 |
169 |
I'd prefer paperless billing in the future. |
1.5368 |
0.04475 |
272 |
166 |
66 |
40 |
170 |
It wasn't just the email. She also added an attachment. |
1.5353 |
0.04358 |
269 |
160 |
74 |
35 |
171 |
and then I said, " President Trump,you can't keep tweeting! There must be another way of communicating with the media" |
1.5351 |
0.04206 |
271 |
157 |
83 |
31 |
172 |
I'd love to stop by, but my paperwork is killing me... |
1.5338 |
0.04396 |
266 |
159 |
72 |
35 |
173 |
I'd like to complain about your overly aggressive process servers. |
1.5338 |
0.04197 |
266 |
153 |
84 |
29 |
174 |
That's the last time I date a Protestant. |
1.5338 |
0.04331 |
266 |
157 |
76 |
33 |
175 |
The good news is, she signed the papers. |
1.5336 |
0.04466 |
268 |
163 |
67 |
38 |
176 |
About 5'10", chubby; possibly Lutheran. |
1.5333 |
0.04409 |
270 |
163 |
70 |
37 |
177 |
Oh she's more than just talking behind my back. |
1.5323 |
0.04267 |
263 |
153 |
80 |
30 |
178 |
This is what I get for marrying a Lutheran. |
1.5323 |
0.04499 |
263 |
160 |
66 |
37 |
179 |
I'll stop calling if you stop writing. |
1.5308 |
0.04572 |
260 |
160 |
62 |
38 |
180 |
Yes dear, I got your note. |
1.5308 |
0.04539 |
260 |
159 |
64 |
37 |
181 |
Now she's spreading vicious rumors behind my back. |
1.5292 |
0.04236 |
257 |
148 |
82 |
27 |
182 |
I don't think it's "Uncontested" anymore. |
1.5290 |
0.04352 |
259 |
153 |
75 |
31 |
183 |
There may be some lingering resentment. |
1.5276 |
0.04486 |
254 |
153 |
68 |
33 |
184 |
Yes Greta, I got the divorce papers. |
1.5276 |
0.04451 |
254 |
152 |
70 |
32 |
185 |
I'm calling to report a hate message. |
1.5276 |
0.04380 |
254 |
150 |
74 |
30 |
186 |
Et tu, Verizon? |
1.5273 |
0.04561 |
256 |
157 |
63 |
36 |
187 |
When I said don't shoot the messenger, wouldn't you think no stabbing is implied? |
1.5259 |
0.04236 |
251 |
144 |
82 |
25 |
188 |
Well...it still hurts, but at least I've put it behind me now. |
1.5259 |
0.04456 |
251 |
150 |
70 |
31 |
189 |
Not sure what it says but she really seemed to take the “back-stabbing bitch” comment quite literally |
1.5257 |
0.04500 |
253 |
153 |
67 |
33 |
190 |
She's delivered the divorce papers. |
1.5257 |
0.04500 |
253 |
153 |
67 |
33 |
191 |
I've been served. |
1.5224 |
0.04683 |
245 |
152 |
58 |
35 |
192 |
Yes doctor, its a stabbing pain between my shoulders... yes, I did just sign a new contract with my cable company. |
1.5224 |
0.04683 |
245 |
152 |
58 |
35 |
193 |
Yeah, I got the message. |
1.5223 |
0.04583 |
247 |
151 |
63 |
33 |
194 |
Yes, dear, I got your message. |
1.5223 |
0.04474 |
247 |
148 |
69 |
30 |
195 |
I’d like to unsubscribe from your mailing list. |
1.5207 |
0.04800 |
242 |
153 |
52 |
37 |
196 |
Yes,I'm a 100% sure she found the letter I wrote to you. |
1.5205 |
0.04663 |
244 |
151 |
59 |
34 |
197 |
I looked everywhere. |
1.5187 |
0.04482 |
241 |
144 |
69 |
28 |
198 |
Does this mean it’s over? |
1.5187 |
0.04670 |
241 |
149 |
59 |
33 |
199 |
Yes, I'd like to report an overreaction. |
1.5185 |
0.04416 |
243 |
144 |
72 |
27 |
200 |
At least she had the decency to leave a note. |
1.5168 |
0.04282 |
238 |
137 |
79 |
22 |
201 |
There is a will, but I don’t think you could call it uncontested |
1.5168 |
0.04601 |
238 |
145 |
63 |
30 |
202 |
The fine print is killing me. |
1.5167 |
0.04417 |
240 |
142 |
72 |
26 |
203 |
Well, she decided not to sign the prenup. |
1.5167 |
0.04686 |
240 |
149 |
58 |
33 |
204 |
Yes, I have a copy, and it’s binding. |
1.5167 |
0.04496 |
240 |
144 |
68 |
28 |
205 |
I think the pre-nup touched a nerve |
1.5167 |
0.04534 |
240 |
145 |
66 |
29 |
206 |
She left instructions for my next wife. |
1.5150 |
0.04832 |
233 |
147 |
52 |
34 |
207 |
She finally stuck me with divorce papers. |
1.5150 |
0.04474 |
233 |
138 |
70 |
25 |
208 |
I know, but this time I think she means it. |
1.5150 |
0.04793 |
233 |
146 |
54 |
33 |
209 |
No. I wouldn’t use the word amicable. |
1.5150 |
0.04515 |
233 |
139 |
68 |
26 |
210 |
Hey, Brutus it's me... I got your note. |
1.5149 |
0.04875 |
235 |
150 |
49 |
36 |
211 |
Yes, I do mean literally. |
1.5149 |
0.04567 |
235 |
142 |
65 |
28 |
212 |
911? I need an ambulance and a proof reader, stat. |
1.5148 |
0.04254 |
237 |
136 |
80 |
21 |
213 |
This hurts, Judy. |
1.5148 |
0.04616 |
237 |
145 |
62 |
30 |
214 |
How can I change the delivery method for future notices? |
1.5148 |
0.04731 |
237 |
148 |
56 |
33 |
215 |
Well, she delivered the divorce papers. |
1.5128 |
0.04377 |
234 |
137 |
74 |
23 |
216 |
Yes, I got the final notice. |
1.5111 |
0.04504 |
225 |
133 |
69 |
23 |
217 |
I think she wants a divorce. |
1.5110 |
0.04851 |
227 |
143 |
52 |
32 |
218 |
No. Literally, this time. |
1.5110 |
0.04687 |
227 |
139 |
60 |
28 |
219 |
On second thought, I do agree to the terms and conditions. |
1.5109 |
0.04489 |
229 |
136 |
69 |
24 |
220 |
She overreacted ‘cause the job jar and fridge magnets were full. |
1.5109 |
0.04858 |
229 |
145 |
51 |
33 |
221 |
My client has expressed reluctance at accepting your proposal. |
1.5090 |
0.04637 |
222 |
134 |
63 |
25 |
222 |
The acupuncturist stopped by with another payment notice. |
1.5090 |
0.04593 |
222 |
133 |
65 |
24 |
223 |
*Can you hold? I think I have another message. |
1.5090 |
0.04681 |
222 |
135 |
61 |
26 |
224 |
The good news is, they gave me a very detailed severance package. |
1.5090 |
0.04637 |
222 |
134 |
63 |
25 |
225 |
Yes, hi. I'd like to change my delivery preferences. |
1.5089 |
0.04649 |
224 |
136 |
62 |
26 |
226 |
She served the papers herself. |
1.5089 |
0.04735 |
224 |
138 |
58 |
28 |
227 |
Got your message. Point taken. |
1.5087 |
0.04642 |
230 |
141 |
61 |
28 |
228 |
She’s hired a real backstabber for a lawyer. |
1.5068 |
0.04826 |
221 |
138 |
54 |
29 |
229 |
Remember the new neighbor I said looked like Martin Luther? |
1.5068 |
0.05156 |
221 |
146 |
38 |
37 |
230 |
You could've sent me an all caps text message. |
1.5047 |
0.04577 |
214 |
127 |
66 |
21 |
231 |
And then I asked her to sign a prenup |
1.5046 |
0.04833 |
218 |
136 |
54 |
28 |
232 |
Yeah, it's definitely worse than those itches you can't quite reach. |
1.5024 |
0.04425 |
211 |
122 |
72 |
17 |
233 |
OK, I’m ready to switch to paperless billing now. |
1.5024 |
0.04673 |
211 |
127 |
62 |
22 |
234 |
I think she means it, this time. |
1.5023 |
0.04782 |
213 |
131 |
57 |
25 |
235 |
Hello...menopause hotline? |
1.5023 |
0.04964 |
213 |
135 |
49 |
29 |
236 |
They got back to me in writing. |
1.5023 |
0.04928 |
215 |
136 |
50 |
29 |
237 |
I looked everywhere. |
1.5023 |
0.04839 |
215 |
134 |
54 |
27 |
238 |
The next time the alimony check is late, just call me. |
1.5000 |
0.04541 |
210 |
124 |
67 |
19 |
239 |
Yes I heard. Republicans sent the middle class a message. Yes I got mine too. |
1.5000 |
0.05240 |
210 |
139 |
37 |
34 |
240 |
So, then marriage counseling is out? |
1.5000 |
0.04972 |
210 |
133 |
49 |
28 |
241 |
Trust me, I don't have to read it to know it's not good news. |
1.5000 |
0.04737 |
210 |
128 |
59 |
23 |
242 |
My backstabbing wife has just served divorce papers on me. |
1.5000 |
0.04915 |
208 |
130 |
52 |
26 |
243 |
My annual performance review didn't go too well. |
1.5000 |
0.05108 |
210 |
136 |
43 |
31 |
244 |
The wedding's off. She refused to sign the pre-nup. |
1.5000 |
0.05018 |
210 |
134 |
47 |
29 |
245 |
Well, it feels like about four or five pages, but I think you're missing my main concern. |
1.4976 |
0.05073 |
207 |
133 |
45 |
29 |
246 |
I sense three or four pages. Does it matter? |
1.4976 |
0.04969 |
205 |
129 |
50 |
26 |
247 |
Yeah, she served me the papers herself. |
1.4951 |
0.05083 |
204 |
131 |
45 |
28 |
248 |
I wouldn’t call it an amicable divorce. |
1.4951 |
0.04840 |
204 |
126 |
55 |
23 |
249 |
No, I cannot forward the Message |
1.4951 |
0.04688 |
204 |
123 |
61 |
20 |
250 |
They told me it's a binding contract and I'm stuck with it. |
1.4951 |
0.04688 |
204 |
123 |
61 |
20 |
251 |
She said something about never listening. |
1.4951 |
0.04739 |
204 |
124 |
59 |
21 |
252 |
It pains me to read your letter. |
1.4951 |
0.04789 |
204 |
125 |
57 |
22 |
253 |
I didn't get a good look at him, but I'm pretty sure he's Lutheran |
1.4950 |
0.05402 |
202 |
136 |
32 |
34 |
254 |
I want to report an attempted contract killing. |
1.4950 |
0.05217 |
202 |
132 |
40 |
30 |
255 |
Yes, sweetheart, of course I am sure that I no longer work at the White House. the President told me in person! |
1.4950 |
0.05012 |
200 |
126 |
49 |
25 |
256 |
I won't be coming to work today. My To-Do list is killing me. |
1.4950 |
0.05112 |
200 |
128 |
45 |
27 |
257 |
Yes, I can show that I was personally served. |
1.4950 |
0.04808 |
200 |
122 |
57 |
21 |
258 |
Funny that you mention it. She did seem a bit upset. |
1.4950 |
0.04911 |
200 |
124 |
53 |
23 |
259 |
I believe I'm the target of a hate mail campaign. |
1.4927 |
0.04722 |
205 |
125 |
59 |
21 |
260 |
It’s safe to say she’s not bluffing this time. |
1.4925 |
0.04825 |
199 |
122 |
56 |
21 |
261 |
I'd prefer to go paperless from now on. |
1.4925 |
0.04825 |
199 |
122 |
56 |
21 |
262 |
I just got her counter-proposal. What's our next move? |
1.4925 |
0.04878 |
199 |
123 |
54 |
22 |
263 |
Yes I have the note. Yes I know where the note is. Yes it is in a place where it won't get lost. No I cannot read it to you. |
1.4925 |
0.04878 |
199 |
123 |
54 |
22 |
264 |
Mother, of course she was decent enough to leave me a farewell note. |
1.4925 |
0.04772 |
199 |
121 |
58 |
20 |
265 |
It hurts to admit it, but I feel you've made your point. |
1.4924 |
0.04643 |
197 |
117 |
63 |
17 |
266 |
Room Service? Could you, please, send up two mirrors. |
1.4924 |
0.04753 |
197 |
119 |
59 |
19 |
267 |
These bills are killing me. |
1.4899 |
0.04895 |
198 |
123 |
53 |
22 |
268 |
Hello Mabel, my wife found your letters. |
1.4898 |
0.04985 |
196 |
123 |
50 |
23 |
269 |
I thought reporting to HR was confidential? |
1.4898 |
0.04770 |
196 |
119 |
58 |
19 |
270 |
I brought a subpoena to a knife fight. |
1.4898 |
0.05340 |
196 |
130 |
36 |
30 |
271 |
She said I don't pay attention to the Post Its. |
1.4898 |
0.04715 |
196 |
118 |
60 |
18 |
272 |
... and then she stuck me with a long list of demands. |
1.4898 |
0.05037 |
196 |
124 |
48 |
24 |
273 |
Martin, I think more people would see it if you pinned your message to a church door. |
1.4898 |
0.05089 |
196 |
125 |
46 |
25 |
274 |
The sign said “Post No Bills” not “Post On Bill...” |
1.4897 |
0.05023 |
194 |
122 |
49 |
23 |
275 |
Well, they missed my spinal cord so I wouldn't call it 'crippling debt.' |
1.4897 |
0.05129 |
194 |
124 |
45 |
25 |
276 |
Well, she didn't embrace constructive criticism as much as I'd hoped |
1.4897 |
0.05023 |
194 |
122 |
49 |
23 |
277 |
I sense it's over. |
1.4874 |
0.04877 |
199 |
124 |
53 |
22 |
278 |
Yes, I received the divorce papers. |
1.4870 |
0.05148 |
193 |
124 |
44 |
25 |
279 |
No, it’s a sharp stabbing pain. |
1.4870 |
0.04767 |
193 |
117 |
58 |
18 |
280 |
Yes, as chance would have it, I do have a living will posted where first responders can find it. |
1.4869 |
0.05189 |
191 |
123 |
43 |
25 |
281 |
I think it's the divorce papers, and I'm guessing she signed them. |
1.4869 |
0.05027 |
191 |
120 |
49 |
22 |
282 |
Yeah, I'm sure. This time, the divorce is going to stick. |
1.4869 |
0.04916 |
191 |
118 |
53 |
20 |
283 |
Yes, literally |
1.4869 |
0.05027 |
191 |
120 |
49 |
22 |
284 |
Yes, I'm sure the message was meant for me. |
1.4868 |
0.05122 |
189 |
120 |
46 |
23 |
285 |
Apparently they call it targeted advertising. |
1.4868 |
0.04897 |
189 |
116 |
54 |
19 |
286 |
No dear, I did not see your note. |
1.4868 |
0.05122 |
189 |
120 |
46 |
23 |
287 |
The new Congressional tax plan has just arrived. |
1.4868 |
0.05442 |
189 |
126 |
34 |
29 |
288 |
There's a backstory you should know about. |
1.4840 |
0.04858 |
188 |
115 |
55 |
18 |
289 |
An amicable separation appears to be off the table now. |
1.4840 |
0.05142 |
188 |
120 |
45 |
23 |
290 |
Yes, I'd like to lodge a complaint concerning your delivery service. |
1.4840 |
0.04858 |
188 |
115 |
55 |
18 |
291 |
I miss the old days when they just wrote 'Kick Me' on sticky notes. |
1.4840 |
0.05086 |
188 |
119 |
47 |
22 |
292 |
Yes, I received the divorce papers. |
1.4840 |
0.05197 |
188 |
121 |
43 |
24 |
293 |
Haven't read it yet, but I am guessing it's not good news. |
1.4840 |
0.04739 |
188 |
113 |
59 |
16 |
294 |
Yes, unfortunately, they found a way to make the charges stick. |
1.4839 |
0.05403 |
186 |
123 |
36 |
27 |
295 |
Your letter was really hurtful |
1.4839 |
0.05349 |
186 |
122 |
38 |
26 |
296 |
Can I talk to someone about going paperless? |
1.4813 |
0.05049 |
187 |
118 |
48 |
21 |
297 |
Got your message. Point taken. |
1.4813 |
0.05217 |
187 |
121 |
42 |
24 |
298 |
Yes, Martha, I got the divorce papers. |
1.4813 |
0.04816 |
187 |
114 |
56 |
17 |
299 |
I think I got her answer to the prenup. |
1.4813 |
0.05049 |
187 |
118 |
48 |
21 |
300 |
I see. And, what if I'm 90 days late? |
1.4813 |
0.05049 |
187 |
118 |
48 |
21 |
301 |
Yes, the divorce papers just got here. No, I don't think she's kidding. |
1.4813 |
0.05106 |
187 |
119 |
46 |
22 |
302 |
Yes, I've heard the expression "Stick it to the man." |
1.4813 |
0.04934 |
187 |
116 |
52 |
19 |
303 |
This wasn't what I meant when I said let's put our grivances behind us. |
1.4813 |
0.05106 |
187 |
119 |
46 |
22 |
304 |
Please remove this list from me, I mean me from this list. |
1.4813 |
0.04876 |
187 |
115 |
54 |
18 |
305 |
Please put me on your Do Not Stab list. |
1.4813 |
0.05049 |
187 |
118 |
48 |
21 |
306 |
I think my wife is on to us. |
1.4811 |
0.05260 |
185 |
120 |
41 |
24 |
307 |
Can I change to the digital subscription? |
1.4811 |
0.05032 |
185 |
116 |
49 |
20 |
308 |
I didn't see it coming. She served me the divorce papers herself. |
1.4811 |
0.05032 |
185 |
116 |
49 |
20 |
309 |
Your mother stopped by and left a note. |
1.4811 |
0.05316 |
185 |
121 |
39 |
25 |
310 |
Yes, I’ve received it Senator. Now I understand why it’s called a middle class tax cut. |
1.4811 |
0.05260 |
185 |
120 |
41 |
24 |
311 |
I haven't seen their comments but I sense they’re unhappy with a few of the terms. |
1.4809 |
0.04829 |
183 |
111 |
56 |
16 |
312 |
You were right, I should have known Martin Luther would be a bad roommate. |
1.4809 |
0.05247 |
183 |
118 |
42 |
23 |
313 |
Remember you told me the prenup was bulletproof? |
1.4809 |
0.05247 |
183 |
118 |
42 |
23 |
314 |
Yes. I got your note. You made your point. |
1.4809 |
0.05072 |
183 |
115 |
48 |
20 |
315 |
Hello, IKEA customer service? My wife finds your assembly instructions confusing and frustrating. |
1.4809 |
0.05247 |
183 |
118 |
42 |
23 |
316 |
She didn't go for the pre-nup. |
1.4787 |
0.04972 |
188 |
118 |
50 |
20 |
317 |
Stabbed in the Back With a Note Attached Hot Line? I'm calling about...yes, I'll hold. |
1.4785 |
0.05238 |
186 |
121 |
41 |
24 |
318 |
She delivered the subpoena herself. |
1.4780 |
0.05493 |
182 |
122 |
33 |
27 |
319 |
I’d like to change my billing preference to “online.” |
1.4780 |
0.05210 |
182 |
117 |
43 |
22 |
320 |
Well, there is one sticking point. |
1.4780 |
0.04910 |
182 |
112 |
53 |
17 |
321 |
I think we're done with counter-offers. |
1.4780 |
0.05151 |
182 |
116 |
45 |
21 |
322 |
No, I didn't see it coming. Yes, she did leave a note. |
1.4780 |
0.04656 |
182 |
108 |
61 |
13 |
323 |
I don't think you understand what I mean by "paper cut." |
1.4780 |
0.05151 |
182 |
116 |
45 |
21 |
324 |
She delivered it herself. I haven't been able to get to it yet. |
1.4778 |
0.05194 |
180 |
115 |
44 |
21 |
325 |
I called him a back-stabbing, ignorant list-maker, and look where it got me. |
1.4775 |
0.05052 |
178 |
111 |
49 |
18 |
326 |
Honey, do you remember where you put the shopping list? |
1.4751 |
0.05231 |
181 |
117 |
42 |
22 |
327 |
Indications are pointing towards a painful divorce. |
1.4751 |
0.05172 |
181 |
116 |
44 |
21 |
328 |
I assume a friendly divorce is out of the question. |
1.4751 |
0.05289 |
181 |
118 |
40 |
23 |
329 |
She finally served the divorce papers. |
1.4751 |
0.05231 |
181 |
117 |
42 |
22 |
330 |
I had a different understanding when you said you have my back in this contract. |
1.4749 |
0.04840 |
179 |
109 |
55 |
15 |
331 |
I received your letter, but I'm sensing some hostility. |
1.4749 |
0.04968 |
179 |
111 |
51 |
17 |
332 |
Mr. Fleceum Esq. please. My wife just served me divorce papers and I think it's going to be messy. |
1.4746 |
0.05613 |
177 |
120 |
30 |
27 |
333 |
I just heard from her lawyer,it's going to get ugly. |
1.4746 |
0.05072 |
177 |
111 |
48 |
18 |
334 |
Hello 911, someone has just stabbed me and left a note to make it look like a suicide. |
1.4746 |
0.05497 |
177 |
118 |
34 |
25 |
335 |
Please inform Mr Luther that the church is actually next door. |
1.4746 |
0.05438 |
177 |
117 |
36 |
24 |
336 |
Well, to be fair I did ask him to take a stab at the report. |
1.4746 |
0.05438 |
177 |
117 |
36 |
24 |
337 |
I think it's safe to assume she's made up her mind. |
1.4716 |
0.04963 |
176 |
109 |
51 |
16 |
338 |
No, if she were mad she would tell me. |
1.4716 |
0.04963 |
176 |
109 |
51 |
16 |
339 |
You were right, she served the papers herself. |
1.4716 |
0.05520 |
176 |
118 |
33 |
25 |
340 |
The good news is that she signed the separation agreement. |
1.4713 |
0.05134 |
174 |
110 |
46 |
18 |
341 |
For the last time, Mr. Luther, my name is Chuck Dorr, not Church Door. |
1.4709 |
0.05679 |
172 |
117 |
29 |
26 |
342 |
No, I already looked on the refrigerator. |
1.4709 |
0.05371 |
172 |
112 |
39 |
21 |
343 |
I got your message, and I'm hurt. |
1.4709 |
0.05243 |
172 |
110 |
43 |
19 |
344 |
I would like to report a threatening letter that I have just received. |
1.4709 |
0.04768 |
172 |
103 |
57 |
12 |
345 |
Honey, you said I couldn't find it if it was pinned to my chest. Well? Where is it? |
1.4709 |
0.05243 |
172 |
110 |
43 |
19 |
346 |
I can no longer refer to the divorce proceedings as " amicable." |
1.4709 |
0.05558 |
172 |
115 |
33 |
24 |
347 |
Actually, I’m not able to read the fine print. |
1.4709 |
0.05434 |
172 |
113 |
37 |
22 |
348 |
Dad, remember when you said words could never hurt me? |
1.4709 |
0.05434 |
172 |
113 |
37 |
22 |
349 |
I’m guess I’m looking for a divorce lawyer. |
1.4709 |
0.04977 |
172 |
106 |
51 |
15 |
350 |
I didn't read it but I feel I got the point. |
1.4706 |
0.05419 |
170 |
111 |
38 |
21 |
351 |
Not to jump to conclusions, but I'd say my attacker is likely a Lutheran. |
1.4706 |
0.05608 |
170 |
114 |
32 |
24 |
352 |
I don't think the prenup is going to fly |
1.4706 |
0.05289 |
170 |
109 |
42 |
19 |
353 |
I suppose this means the divorce is no longer an amicable parting of two people that still care very much about one another? |
1.4706 |
0.05222 |
170 |
108 |
44 |
18 |
354 |
Short, German accent, answers to Luther. |
1.4689 |
0.05257 |
177 |
115 |
41 |
21 |
355 |
She just stuck me with divorce papers. |
1.4689 |
0.05070 |
177 |
112 |
47 |
18 |
356 |
It started out as a friendly game of pin the tail on the donkey. |
1.4678 |
0.05065 |
171 |
107 |
48 |
16 |
357 |
I’m not being paranoid. They stabbed me in the back with the terms of that contract. |
1.4678 |
0.05265 |
171 |
110 |
42 |
19 |
358 |
Yup, pretty sure she's filing for divorce... |
1.4678 |
0.05132 |
171 |
108 |
46 |
17 |
359 |
No, Mildred; I haven't read the letter yet...but I get the message. |
1.4675 |
0.05376 |
169 |
110 |
39 |
20 |
360 |
Yeah, she left. I haven't read her note, but it hurts already. |
1.4675 |
0.05244 |
169 |
108 |
43 |
18 |
361 |
Please resend it, I can't read the attachment. |
1.4675 |
0.05376 |
169 |
110 |
39 |
20 |
362 |
Yes, Dear...your mother did leave a message. |
1.4675 |
0.05570 |
169 |
113 |
33 |
23 |
363 |
Yes. Phyllis really nailed me with those divorce papers. |
1.4675 |
0.05108 |
169 |
106 |
47 |
16 |
364 |
Yes, I recieved your apology, but it feels insincere. |
1.4675 |
0.05506 |
169 |
112 |
35 |
22 |
365 |
I'm pretty sure she wants a divorce. |
1.4675 |
0.05311 |
169 |
109 |
41 |
19 |
366 |
It's back from peer review. |
1.4675 |
0.05244 |
169 |
108 |
43 |
18 |
367 |
Yes, I did receive the divorce papers today. |
1.4671 |
0.05424 |
167 |
109 |
38 |
20 |
368 |
Yes, dear. I did get your message. |
1.4671 |
0.05010 |
167 |
103 |
50 |
14 |
369 |
Yes, I did hear from your lawyer. |
1.4643 |
0.05058 |
168 |
105 |
48 |
15 |
370 |
The ex got just about everything... Although she did leave me the title to the Prius. |
1.4639 |
0.05173 |
166 |
105 |
45 |
16 |
371 |
They’ve presented a fairly compelling counter offer. |
1.4639 |
0.05101 |
166 |
104 |
47 |
15 |
372 |
She's fairly adamant about the divorce settlement. |
1.4639 |
0.05645 |
166 |
112 |
31 |
23 |
373 |
Well, bravo, Janice. This time you've also robbed me of my favorite metaphor to describe how this divorce feels. |
1.4639 |
0.05448 |
166 |
109 |
37 |
20 |
374 |
All I said was just give me the shopping list. |
1.4634 |
0.05146 |
164 |
103 |
46 |
15 |
375 |
Hang on, I believe Col. Mustard left a message |
1.4634 |
0.05218 |
164 |
104 |
44 |
16 |
376 |
I don't know what it says, but I have a feeling it's some sort of grievance. |
1.4634 |
0.05497 |
164 |
108 |
36 |
20 |
377 |
I'm starting to think that the couple's therapy isn't working.. |
1.4634 |
0.05072 |
164 |
102 |
48 |
14 |
378 |
Apparently she and I have different understandings of ‘amicable.’ |
1.4634 |
0.05359 |
164 |
106 |
40 |
18 |
379 |
I can't read the fine print, but I think she's serious this time. |
1.4634 |
0.05146 |
164 |
103 |
46 |
15 |
380 |
My fiancé has a few issues with the pre-nup draft. |
1.4634 |
0.05497 |
164 |
108 |
36 |
20 |
381 |
No, I have to say the discussion about the pre-nup didn't go well. |
1.4634 |
0.05429 |
164 |
107 |
38 |
19 |
382 |
No, it's more like a deeply personal kind of pain. |
1.4634 |
0.05218 |
164 |
104 |
44 |
16 |
383 |
We are out of post-its again. |
1.4634 |
0.05072 |
164 |
102 |
48 |
14 |
384 |
She says she wants out, and this time I think she's serious. |
1.4634 |
0.05359 |
164 |
106 |
40 |
18 |
385 |
911? Yes, please send an ambulance and a divorce attorney right away. |
1.4634 |
0.05565 |
164 |
109 |
34 |
21 |
386 |
Hold on. I think someone is trying to get my attention. |
1.4634 |
0.04923 |
164 |
100 |
52 |
12 |
387 |
My ex just violated the restraining order. |
1.4634 |
0.05359 |
164 |
106 |
40 |
18 |
388 |
Yes, I got your demands, but posting them on my door would have been OK too. |
1.4630 |
0.05116 |
162 |
101 |
47 |
14 |
389 |
Honey, Your lawyer was here. |
1.4630 |
0.05191 |
162 |
102 |
45 |
15 |
390 |
I'd appreciate being put on your Do Not Stab list. |
1.4630 |
0.05548 |
162 |
107 |
35 |
20 |
391 |
Call it a hunch, but no, I don't think my wife will be open to marriage counseling." |
1.4630 |
0.05264 |
162 |
103 |
43 |
16 |
392 |
Yes, it came on very suddenly; I'd say it starts at the shoulder blades and kind of radiates out. |
1.4630 |
0.05548 |
162 |
107 |
35 |
20 |
393 |
Hi mother, my divorce papers just arrived. |
1.4630 |
0.05264 |
162 |
103 |
43 |
16 |
394 |
Yes, it's over, she served the papers herself. |
1.4615 |
0.05308 |
169 |
110 |
40 |
19 |
395 |
Hi, I'm holding for Brutus. Is he in? |
1.4615 |
0.05308 |
169 |
110 |
40 |
19 |
396 |
Yeah, she signed it, but she wasn't happy. |
1.4615 |
0.05374 |
169 |
111 |
38 |
20 |
397 |
Yes, she signed and returned the prenup. |
1.4615 |
0.05439 |
169 |
112 |
36 |
21 |
398 |
I guess the divorce papers are final. |
1.4615 |
0.05308 |
169 |
110 |
40 |
19 |
399 |
Well, it wasn't the NRA... |
1.4615 |
0.04748 |
169 |
102 |
56 |
11 |
400 |
I need to get a few legal issues off my back. |
1.4615 |
0.05036 |
169 |
106 |
48 |
15 |
401 |
I'd like to go paperless, please. |
1.4615 |
0.05754 |
169 |
117 |
26 |
26 |
402 |
I had no idea they put out a contract on me. |
1.4615 |
0.05308 |
169 |
110 |
40 |
19 |
403 |
It wasn’t her lawyer. She delivered the divorce papers herself. |
1.4615 |
0.05241 |
169 |
109 |
42 |
18 |
404 |
Actually, Mr. Trump, when you said, "I've got your back covered" this wasn't exactly what I expected. |
1.4601 |
0.05589 |
163 |
109 |
33 |
21 |
405 |
Martha, can we go back to the regular Post-it notes? |
1.4596 |
0.05572 |
161 |
107 |
34 |
20 |
406 |
I need both and ambulance and an ambulance chaser, please. |
1.4596 |
0.05061 |
161 |
100 |
48 |
13 |
407 |
I'm pretty sure the divorce paperwork is final. |
1.4596 |
0.05502 |
161 |
106 |
36 |
19 |
408 |
Yes, I definitely got the subpoena. Oh yeah, it was served on my person alright. |
1.4596 |
0.05502 |
161 |
106 |
36 |
19 |
409 |
Believe me, they're not willing to negotiate. |
1.4596 |
0.05061 |
161 |
100 |
48 |
13 |
410 |
I have a complaint about the tags on your shirts. |
1.4591 |
0.05765 |
159 |
108 |
29 |
22 |
411 |
No mom, this time I think she means it. |
1.4591 |
0.05106 |
159 |
99 |
47 |
13 |
412 |
This time I think she's serious. |
1.4591 |
0.05183 |
159 |
100 |
45 |
14 |
413 |
...yes, then I said, stick it wherever you think it will do the most good. |
1.4591 |
0.05554 |
159 |
105 |
35 |
19 |
414 |
I'm so sorry, I won't be able to make it in today. I have a stabbing pain in my back |
1.4591 |
0.05106 |
159 |
99 |
47 |
13 |
415 |
Yes, she's gone. Yes, left me a note. Yes, she was very upset. No, I haven't read it yet. Yes, I love you. Will talk later. |
1.4591 |
0.05554 |
159 |
105 |
35 |
19 |
416 |
Hi, I'm just calling to let you know I got your manuscript and I literally can't put it down. |
1.4591 |
0.05482 |
159 |
104 |
37 |
18 |
417 |
What divorce papers?! |
1.4591 |
0.05259 |
159 |
101 |
43 |
15 |
418 |
A simple 'No' would have sufficed. |
1.4591 |
0.04947 |
159 |
97 |
51 |
11 |
419 |
Sorry Bob, no poker tonight. The wife stuck me with some errands. |
1.4563 |
0.05234 |
160 |
102 |
43 |
15 |
420 |
As divorces go, it's been pretty amicable. |
1.4563 |
0.05234 |
160 |
102 |
43 |
15 |
421 |
So I said to her "I'll tell you where you can stick your Dear John letter" |
1.4563 |
0.05309 |
160 |
103 |
41 |
16 |
422 |
Phyllis, your mother just returned the nursing home application. No, she hasn't signed it yet. |
1.4563 |
0.05526 |
160 |
106 |
35 |
19 |
423 |
The tax cut plan arrived today. Deep cuts, as promised. |
1.4563 |
0.05667 |
160 |
108 |
31 |
21 |
424 |
yes dear, I think I got the point |
1.4563 |
0.05158 |
160 |
101 |
45 |
14 |
425 |
All I asked for was a gentle reminder. |
1.4563 |
0.05234 |
160 |
102 |
43 |
15 |
426 |
I told her there was no point in HANDWRITTEN stories these days. |
1.4563 |
0.05597 |
160 |
107 |
33 |
20 |
427 |
No, it's not a metaphor this time. |
1.4551 |
0.05407 |
156 |
101 |
39 |
16 |
428 |
Is it too late to settle? |
1.4551 |
0.05330 |
156 |
100 |
41 |
15 |
429 |
I've just left the Trump administration and I'm looking for a new position... |
1.4551 |
0.05558 |
156 |
103 |
35 |
18 |
430 |
It's official. The divorce papers have been served. |
1.4551 |
0.05172 |
156 |
98 |
45 |
13 |
431 |
This paperwork is killing me |
1.4551 |
0.05705 |
156 |
105 |
31 |
20 |
432 |
Yes, I got your message. I must say I found it somewhat hurtful. |
1.4551 |
0.05172 |
156 |
98 |
45 |
13 |
433 |
Her parting words will stick with me for a while. |
1.4551 |
0.05172 |
156 |
98 |
45 |
13 |
434 |
Yes, Doctor, I do work in the White House. Why do you ask? |
1.4551 |
0.05558 |
156 |
103 |
35 |
18 |
435 |
I think my wife found our love letters. |
1.4551 |
0.05558 |
156 |
103 |
35 |
18 |
436 |
RE-PRE-SEN-TA-TIVE. |
1.4551 |
0.05483 |
156 |
102 |
37 |
17 |
437 |
I'm starting to feel the sword is mightier than the pen. |
1.4551 |
0.05558 |
156 |
103 |
35 |
18 |
438 |
Gretchen, your old boyfriend was here...yes, he left a message... |
1.4551 |
0.05483 |
156 |
102 |
37 |
17 |
439 |
Yes, I have a copy of the divorce agreement. |
1.4551 |
0.05632 |
156 |
104 |
33 |
19 |
440 |
Is it too late to take out the 'over-my-dead-body' clause? |
1.4551 |
0.05632 |
156 |
104 |
33 |
19 |
441 |
Yes Honey, the grocery list is still where you put it. |
1.4551 |
0.05483 |
156 |
102 |
37 |
17 |
442 |
Yes, I received it today -- but just to be clear, I requested online billing. |
1.4551 |
0.05848 |
156 |
107 |
27 |
22 |
443 |
I was wrong, they pinned it on me. |
1.4551 |
0.05407 |
156 |
101 |
39 |
16 |
444 |
9-1-1? I have reason to believe there's a contract out on me. |
1.4551 |
0.05330 |
156 |
100 |
41 |
15 |
445 |
First you threaten to shove your divorce papers up my ass, then you stab me in the back with your demands, and now you want me to leave my response after the beep. It hurts, Eleanor; it really hurts. |
1.4551 |
0.05558 |
156 |
103 |
35 |
18 |
446 |
I was literally stabbed in the back with the new contract..... what?.......yes I KNOW what "literally" means...... |
1.4545 |
0.05219 |
154 |
97 |
44 |
13 |
447 |
The good news is she signed the divorce agreement. |
1.4545 |
0.05611 |
154 |
102 |
34 |
18 |
448 |
No, I'm not speaking metaphorically. |
1.4545 |
0.05686 |
154 |
103 |
32 |
19 |
449 |
Dr. Mackey, do you have any experience removing a subpoena? |
1.4545 |
0.05458 |
154 |
100 |
38 |
16 |
450 |
Yes, I have reconsidered, I would like to receive my bank statements by email instead. |
1.4545 |
0.05834 |
154 |
105 |
28 |
21 |
451 |
No, I don't mean that figuratively. |
1.4545 |
0.05458 |
154 |
100 |
38 |
16 |
452 |
On the bright side: I feel a sense of closure. |
1.4545 |
0.05300 |
154 |
98 |
42 |
14 |
453 |
Yes Sir, it's Mr. Herman again. I called yesterday, complaining about the way your boy was delivering my newspaper. |
1.4545 |
0.05906 |
154 |
106 |
26 |
22 |
454 |
I'm not wild about their counter-offer. |
1.4545 |
0.05458 |
154 |
100 |
38 |
16 |
455 |
How can you say I'm oblivious? |
1.4545 |
0.05611 |
154 |
102 |
34 |
18 |
456 |
Yes, your new divorce attorney contacted me directly. |
1.4545 |
0.05458 |
154 |
100 |
38 |
16 |
457 |
Call me paranoid if you want, but I get the feeling that something's going on behind my back |
1.4510 |
0.05403 |
153 |
99 |
39 |
15 |
458 |
How the hell do I know what they want? |
1.4510 |
0.05158 |
153 |
96 |
45 |
12 |
459 |
No, Jack, I'm just a clerk. I don't think I'm going to need my own personal attorney. The White House has my back. |
1.4510 |
0.05787 |
153 |
104 |
29 |
20 |
460 |
Yes, Mr. President, I prefer this to Twitter. |
1.4510 |
0.05636 |
153 |
102 |
33 |
18 |
461 |
Got it. Next time just click "I Agree." |
1.4510 |
0.05560 |
153 |
101 |
35 |
17 |
462 |
As I told you the last time you called, I’m on the “National Do Not Stab” list. |
1.4510 |
0.05934 |
153 |
106 |
25 |
22 |
463 |
She served me herself. Is that legal? |
1.4510 |
0.05403 |
153 |
99 |
39 |
15 |
464 |
I think I have a contract out on me. |
1.4503 |
0.05290 |
151 |
96 |
42 |
13 |
465 |
No, I think I can state with some certainty she won't be signing any prenuptial agreement. |
1.4503 |
0.05614 |
151 |
100 |
34 |
17 |
466 |
No, it's NOT a metaphor! |
1.4503 |
0.05534 |
151 |
99 |
36 |
16 |
467 |
No, you didn't interrupt anything. We're just celebrating the 500th anniversary of the reformation. |
1.4503 |
0.05614 |
151 |
100 |
34 |
17 |
468 |
I made the mistake of asking for her ultimatum in writing. |
1.4503 |
0.05534 |
151 |
99 |
36 |
16 |
469 |
Stop trying to pin this one on me |
1.4503 |
0.05534 |
151 |
99 |
36 |
16 |
470 |
It only hurts when I lie down. |
1.4503 |
0.05534 |
151 |
99 |
36 |
16 |
471 |
No, it only hurts when I try to read the fine print. |
1.4503 |
0.05454 |
151 |
98 |
38 |
15 |
472 |
Ace Detective Agency?...Someone's trying to pin something on me |
1.4503 |
0.05206 |
151 |
95 |
44 |
12 |
473 |
I'm beginning to think she was serious about the divorce. |
1.4503 |
0.05290 |
151 |
96 |
42 |
13 |
474 |
Yes, I suppose a flaming arrow would have been worse. |
1.4503 |
0.05206 |
151 |
95 |
44 |
12 |
475 |
Sure it hurts. But it’s just her opinion. |
1.4503 |
0.05454 |
151 |
98 |
38 |
15 |
476 |
My wife personally served me with divorce papers. |
1.4503 |
0.05206 |
151 |
95 |
44 |
12 |
477 |
No, I feel like they're demands rather than suggestions. |
1.4503 |
0.05454 |
151 |
98 |
38 |
15 |
478 |
Yes, I think its fair to characterize her lawyer as difficult. |
1.4503 |
0.05206 |
151 |
95 |
44 |
12 |
479 |
...because, I wouldn't sign this stupid anti-gun petition! |
1.4497 |
0.05589 |
149 |
98 |
35 |
16 |
480 |
Could you pick up some more Post-Its, Margaret? |
1.4497 |
0.05669 |
149 |
99 |
33 |
17 |
481 |
A description? I’m pretty sure he was Lutheran. |
1.4474 |
0.05814 |
152 |
104 |
28 |
20 |
482 |
Can I call you back? I just got an urgent message. |
1.4467 |
0.05559 |
150 |
99 |
35 |
16 |
483 |
Yes, please. I'd like to report a manifesto... |
1.4467 |
0.05559 |
150 |
99 |
35 |
16 |
484 |
I'd like to report an overzealous process server. |
1.4467 |
0.05559 |
150 |
99 |
35 |
16 |
485 |
Honey, I forgot where you put the to-do list? |
1.4467 |
0.05396 |
150 |
97 |
39 |
14 |
486 |
I think she suspects us. |
1.4467 |
0.05396 |
150 |
97 |
39 |
14 |
487 |
The good news is she signed first. |
1.4459 |
0.05363 |
148 |
95 |
40 |
13 |
488 |
Yes, please tell Martin I got his message. |
1.4459 |
0.05448 |
148 |
96 |
38 |
14 |
489 |
I'm pretty sure my wife just served me divorce papers. |
1.4459 |
0.05448 |
148 |
96 |
38 |
14 |
490 |
Yes, I believe the divorce papers were just served. |
1.4459 |
0.05448 |
148 |
96 |
38 |
14 |
491 |
Oh, and your acupuncturist said the check bounced |
1.4459 |
0.05448 |
148 |
96 |
38 |
14 |
492 |
This time I think they mean business, Phil. |
1.4459 |
0.05276 |
148 |
94 |
42 |
12 |
493 |
It’s death. And taxes. I should go. |
1.4459 |
0.05531 |
148 |
97 |
36 |
15 |
494 |
She made it pretty clear that she wants a divorce. |
1.4459 |
0.05448 |
148 |
96 |
38 |
14 |
495 |
No sir, the writing is not on the wall. |
1.4452 |
0.05326 |
146 |
93 |
41 |
12 |
496 |
911? My wife ran out of Post-its... |
1.4452 |
0.05670 |
146 |
97 |
33 |
16 |
497 |
Every time something goes wrong, why do you pin it on me? |
1.4444 |
0.05378 |
144 |
92 |
40 |
12 |
498 |
There's a little push back on the pre-nup. |
1.4430 |
0.05502 |
149 |
98 |
36 |
15 |
499 |
I'm having second thoughts about this Lutheran thing. |
1.4422 |
0.05556 |
147 |
97 |
35 |
15 |
500 |
What grocery list? |
1.4406 |
0.05581 |
143 |
94 |
35 |
14 |
501 |
And I felt personally threatened by the tone of this letter as well! |
1.4406 |
0.05581 |
143 |
94 |
35 |
14 |
502 |
It seems I misunderstood when you said you had my back. |
1.4406 |
0.05840 |
143 |
97 |
29 |
17 |
503 |
...Yup, she finally signed the divorce papers. |
1.4406 |
0.05840 |
143 |
97 |
29 |
17 |
504 |
Yes...literally & figuratively |
1.4406 |
0.05401 |
143 |
92 |
39 |
12 |
505 |
Et tu, IRS? |
1.4397 |
0.05901 |
141 |
96 |
28 |
17 |
506 |
Yes, I got the message from your attorney... |
1.4397 |
0.05169 |
141 |
88 |
44 |
9 |
507 |
Lucy means business with her Christmas list this year. |
1.4397 |
0.05638 |
141 |
93 |
34 |
14 |
508 |
This is why I prefer email. |
1.4397 |
0.05547 |
141 |
92 |
36 |
13 |
509 |
Edwina? It's Milton. I think she may be on to us. |
1.4397 |
0.05638 |
141 |
93 |
34 |
14 |
510 |
It's going to be my second divorce. First time with a Lutheran, though. |
1.4397 |
0.05814 |
141 |
95 |
30 |
16 |
511 |
Well, of course there's a back story... |
1.4397 |
0.04969 |
141 |
86 |
48 |
7 |
512 |
Im afraid I’m stuck with this contract. |
1.4397 |
0.05901 |
141 |
96 |
28 |
17 |
513 |
Yes, I'd like to register a complaint about your past due accounts notification policy… |
1.4397 |
0.05638 |
141 |
93 |
34 |
14 |
514 |
If you're trying to send a message, I prefer email. |
1.4397 |
0.05638 |
141 |
93 |
34 |
14 |
515 |
It's not being backstabbed that hurts, it's the lengthy explanation that came with it. |
1.4397 |
0.05814 |
141 |
95 |
30 |
16 |
516 |
No, I don't think it's another 'KICK ME' sign. This one feels different. |
1.4397 |
0.05455 |
141 |
91 |
38 |
12 |
517 |
Et tu, Brenda? |
1.4397 |
0.05638 |
141 |
93 |
34 |
14 |
518 |
I learned an important lesson: Don't bring an essay to a knife fight |
1.4366 |
0.05782 |
142 |
96 |
30 |
16 |
519 |
I just knew you'd try to pin this on me. |
1.4357 |
0.05572 |
140 |
92 |
35 |
13 |
520 |
I took the kids’ phones and told them to communicate the old fashioned way, like you suggested. |
1.4357 |
0.05479 |
140 |
91 |
37 |
12 |
521 |
Yes, I get the point |
1.4357 |
0.05664 |
140 |
93 |
33 |
14 |
522 |
I wouldn't exactly say she GAVE me the divorce papers. |
1.4357 |
0.05842 |
140 |
95 |
29 |
16 |
523 |
No, the mother of my children served the papers herself. I think she's serious. |
1.4357 |
0.05572 |
140 |
92 |
35 |
13 |
524 |
Police? I want to report a literary crime. |
1.4348 |
0.05905 |
138 |
94 |
28 |
16 |
525 |
I just got served the divorce papers. Actually she served them herself . |
1.4348 |
0.05993 |
138 |
95 |
26 |
17 |
526 |
I looked everywhere. You did not leave me the shopping list. |
1.4348 |
0.05993 |
138 |
95 |
26 |
17 |
527 |
Yes, I received the attached copy. |
1.4348 |
0.05629 |
138 |
91 |
34 |
13 |
528 |
At this point I’d have to say a divorce is imminent |
1.4338 |
0.05493 |
136 |
88 |
37 |
11 |
529 |
The cable company has convinced me to switch to paperless billing. |
1.4338 |
0.05688 |
136 |
90 |
33 |
13 |
530 |
Well no, it was not posted where I could see it. |
1.4338 |
0.05592 |
136 |
89 |
35 |
12 |
531 |
My ex had the divorce papers delivered; I'm just having a hard time getting to them. |
1.4338 |
0.06059 |
136 |
94 |
25 |
17 |
532 |
Hi Honey, I just received my buy out. No, it's everything I expected. |
1.4338 |
0.05592 |
136 |
89 |
35 |
12 |
533 |
Hi, I’m calling to switch to paperless billing. |
1.4338 |
0.05877 |
136 |
92 |
29 |
15 |
534 |
I'd like to lodge a complaint with your paperboy. |
1.4338 |
0.05969 |
136 |
93 |
27 |
16 |
535 |
She wants a divorce. It hurts too much to talk about it. |
1.4338 |
0.05969 |
136 |
93 |
27 |
16 |
536 |
If you ask me, the Jehovah's Witnesses in this neighborhood are getting a little aggressive. |
1.4338 |
0.05783 |
136 |
91 |
31 |
14 |
537 |
I got your message. |
1.4338 |
0.05877 |
136 |
92 |
29 |
15 |
538 |
I came home to a "Spear John" letter. |
1.4338 |
0.05877 |
136 |
92 |
29 |
15 |
539 |
no dad, the prenuptial was not well received.............. |
1.4338 |
0.05783 |
136 |
91 |
31 |
14 |
540 |
Hello, Comcast? I'm having an issue with my bill. |
1.4326 |
0.05541 |
141 |
93 |
35 |
13 |
541 |
Am I now to assume an uncontested divorce is out of the question? |
1.4317 |
0.05311 |
139 |
89 |
40 |
10 |
542 |
Yes Marsha, your lawyer has been here with the divorce papers. |
1.4317 |
0.05408 |
139 |
90 |
38 |
11 |
543 |
Would you hold on for a minute? Someone's trying to get through to me. |
1.4317 |
0.05690 |
139 |
93 |
32 |
14 |
544 |
She's not here now but she left a message. |
1.4296 |
0.05811 |
135 |
91 |
30 |
14 |
545 |
But the good news is, the demands themselves are quite reasonable. |
1.4296 |
0.05518 |
135 |
88 |
36 |
11 |
546 |
Oh, not a whole lot... Susan finally dropped off the divorce papers this morning |
1.4296 |
0.05715 |
135 |
90 |
32 |
13 |
547 |
This is the third time this week I’ve been mistaken for a church door. |
1.4296 |
0.05998 |
135 |
93 |
26 |
16 |
548 |
Don't be silly, Mom, we're both looking forward to your visit. |
1.4296 |
0.05998 |
135 |
93 |
26 |
16 |
549 |
The divorce papers? Yes, she delivered them this morning. |
1.4296 |
0.05715 |
135 |
90 |
32 |
13 |
550 |
It hasn't really sunk in yet. |
1.4296 |
0.05617 |
135 |
89 |
34 |
12 |
551 |
I suspect they're plotting something behind my back. |
1.4296 |
0.05518 |
135 |
88 |
36 |
11 |
552 |
Caesar residence, Julius speaking |
1.4296 |
0.05905 |
135 |
92 |
28 |
15 |
553 |
Apparently she has 95 complaints |
1.4296 |
0.05518 |
135 |
88 |
36 |
11 |
554 |
The divorce papers were served today. |
1.4296 |
0.05617 |
135 |
89 |
34 |
12 |
555 |
I’d like to order some flowers for my wife. |
1.4296 |
0.05811 |
135 |
91 |
30 |
14 |
556 |
I'd like to report and attempted murder and some very hurtful criticism. |
1.4296 |
0.05811 |
135 |
91 |
30 |
14 |
557 |
Next time, could you keep it to just TALKING behind my back? |
1.4296 |
0.05518 |
135 |
88 |
36 |
11 |
558 |
I got your note. |
1.4296 |
0.05811 |
135 |
91 |
30 |
14 |
559 |
You left a message? |
1.4286 |
0.05472 |
133 |
86 |
37 |
10 |
560 |
IRS? Is this regarding my back taxes? |
1.4286 |
0.05776 |
133 |
89 |
31 |
13 |
561 |
Did you get your pink slip the same way I did? |
1.4275 |
0.05738 |
131 |
87 |
32 |
12 |
562 |
No need to explain further, I got the point. |
1.4275 |
0.05634 |
131 |
86 |
34 |
11 |
563 |
It's about your process server. |
1.4275 |
0.05738 |
131 |
87 |
32 |
12 |
564 |
I think the IRS is serious this time Lauren." |
1.4275 |
0.05529 |
131 |
85 |
36 |
10 |
565 |
Next time just send me a text. |
1.4254 |
0.05839 |
134 |
91 |
29 |
14 |
566 |
Stabbing pain would be an accurate symptom. |
1.4254 |
0.05543 |
134 |
88 |
35 |
11 |
567 |
Gotta go. My "Honey-do" list just arrived. |
1.4254 |
0.05643 |
134 |
89 |
33 |
12 |
568 |
Yes, I was served the papers, and no, I haven't read them yet. |
1.4254 |
0.05643 |
134 |
89 |
33 |
12 |
569 |
No, not separation. She's calling it "Reformation." |
1.4254 |
0.05742 |
134 |
90 |
31 |
13 |
570 |
Hi hun, your ex was over and left a list of his stuff. By the way, remember when I said that you were a bit harsh in calling him a 'back-stabbing S.O.B'? |
1.4254 |
0.05336 |
134 |
86 |
39 |
9 |
571 |
Got your note. I’m troubled by one sticking point. |
1.4254 |
0.05839 |
134 |
91 |
29 |
14 |
572 |
It's the harshest rejection letter I've ever gotten. |
1.4254 |
0.05643 |
134 |
89 |
33 |
12 |
573 |
The divorce papers arrived. |
1.4254 |
0.06028 |
134 |
93 |
25 |
16 |
574 |
She left a note, but I can't read it. |
1.4250 |
0.05995 |
120 |
80 |
29 |
11 |
575 |
Does our new health insurance cover stab wounds? I have all the paperwork attached. |
1.4242 |
0.05902 |
132 |
90 |
28 |
14 |
576 |
Honey, why do we have a framed picture of a potted plant? And where did we put the bulletin board? |
1.4242 |
0.05703 |
132 |
88 |
32 |
12 |
577 |
It would appear she didn't agree to the terms of the divorce. |
1.4242 |
0.05804 |
132 |
89 |
30 |
13 |
578 |
What do you mean you're divorcing me because I'm an oblivious idiot? |
1.4242 |
0.06282 |
132 |
94 |
20 |
18 |
579 |
Hey, Maury, you know those divorce papers you drew up for me, the ones I thought I lost? My wife just found them! |
1.4242 |
0.05804 |
132 |
89 |
30 |
13 |
580 |
Cancel me for the foursome. The wife's 'honey do' list just took on a more urgent tone. |
1.4242 |
0.05703 |
132 |
88 |
32 |
12 |
581 |
Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure that's not an appropriate way to serve divorce papers. |
1.4242 |
0.05601 |
132 |
87 |
34 |
11 |
582 |
She read it ,but I am not sure she is going for it. |
1.4242 |
0.05497 |
132 |
86 |
36 |
10 |
583 |
Well, my wife thinks I should get another quote. |
1.4231 |
0.05968 |
130 |
89 |
27 |
14 |
584 |
So that's a definite no? |
1.4231 |
0.05968 |
130 |
89 |
27 |
14 |
585 |
No, ma'am, when I say, 'stabbed in the back,' I mean I need an ambulance not an attorney. |
1.4231 |
0.05660 |
130 |
86 |
33 |
11 |
586 |
I seem to have ignored the first few notices. |
1.4231 |
0.05660 |
130 |
86 |
33 |
11 |
587 |
I got more feedback on my manuscript. |
1.4231 |
0.06067 |
130 |
90 |
25 |
15 |
588 |
I received your complaint but haven't gotten around to reading it yet. |
1.4231 |
0.05660 |
130 |
86 |
33 |
11 |
589 |
Et tu, Janet? |
1.4231 |
0.05554 |
130 |
85 |
35 |
10 |
590 |
It may be an offer we can't refuse. |
1.4231 |
0.06165 |
130 |
91 |
23 |
16 |
591 |
I have the list of demands, but I haven't gotten around to reading them. |
1.4231 |
0.05968 |
130 |
89 |
27 |
14 |
592 |
Hello, Murder Mystery Monthly? I'd like to switch to your online edition. |
1.4231 |
0.05867 |
130 |
88 |
29 |
13 |
593 |
Well, yes, I’m fairly certain she’s already contacted a lawyer. |
1.4231 |
0.05660 |
130 |
86 |
33 |
11 |
594 |
Unfortunately, I won't be able to sleep on it. |
1.4231 |
0.05765 |
130 |
87 |
31 |
12 |
595 |
I'm not positive, but something tells me it's divorce papers... |
1.4231 |
0.05554 |
130 |
85 |
35 |
10 |
596 |
I liked it better when he was tweeting his messages. |
1.4231 |
0.05968 |
130 |
89 |
27 |
14 |
597 |
Yes, she just gave me the eviction notice. |
1.4231 |
0.04988 |
130 |
80 |
45 |
5 |
598 |
Well if I could read the instructions I’d get it out myself. |
1.4231 |
0.05660 |
130 |
86 |
33 |
11 |
599 |
I'd love to but I'm stuck at home with a big to-do list... |
1.4231 |
0.05335 |
130 |
83 |
39 |
8 |
600 |
The fine print is killing me. |
1.4231 |
0.06165 |
130 |
91 |
23 |
16 |
601 |
...and now my back-stabbing wife wants me to sign the divorce papers! |
1.4231 |
0.05660 |
130 |
86 |
33 |
11 |
602 |
Yes, I'd like to report an obituary. |
1.4219 |
0.05933 |
128 |
87 |
28 |
13 |
603 |
Ix-nay on the pre-nup. |
1.4219 |
0.06137 |
128 |
89 |
24 |
15 |
604 |
Hello, is this The Mafia Daily? Yes? I'd like to switch to the Digital edition please. |
1.4219 |
0.05722 |
128 |
85 |
32 |
11 |
605 |
I didn't get a good look at him, but I'm pretty sure he was a contract killer. |
1.4219 |
0.06236 |
128 |
90 |
22 |
16 |
606 |
The handwriting is hard to make out, but I don't think it's good news. |
1.4219 |
0.06137 |
128 |
89 |
24 |
15 |
607 |
Hello, billing? I've finally decided to go paperless. |
1.4219 |
0.05828 |
128 |
86 |
30 |
12 |
608 |
I’d like to order a box of Post-it notes. |
1.4219 |
0.06036 |
128 |
88 |
26 |
14 |
609 |
Who do I call to get taken off this mailing list? |
1.4219 |
0.05933 |
128 |
87 |
28 |
13 |
610 |
Hi, Mr. Mueller. I'm calling to let you know that Don Jr. just responded to our latest request for his records. |
1.4219 |
0.06236 |
128 |
90 |
22 |
16 |
611 |
I'm not saying that you didn't leave a note, I'm saying that I didn't find a note. |
1.4219 |
0.05613 |
128 |
84 |
34 |
10 |
612 |
She's amazingly literate for someone so violent. |
1.4219 |
0.05502 |
128 |
83 |
36 |
9 |
613 |
The Republicans just delivered their final version of the 'Repeal & Replace' Health Care bill |
1.4219 |
0.05722 |
128 |
85 |
32 |
11 |
614 |
I don't know, back in my day it was just "kick me". |
1.4211 |
0.05769 |
133 |
90 |
30 |
13 |
615 |
Independent third party mediation may not work in this case. |
1.4206 |
0.05446 |
126 |
81 |
37 |
8 |
616 |
Well, you could say I’ve been served. |
1.4206 |
0.05894 |
126 |
85 |
29 |
12 |
617 |
I think they are trying to make a point. |
1.4206 |
0.05674 |
126 |
83 |
33 |
10 |
618 |
She was not crazy about the prenup idea |
1.4206 |
0.06208 |
126 |
88 |
23 |
15 |
619 |
Hi. I think I need a divorce attorney. |
1.4206 |
0.06105 |
126 |
87 |
25 |
14 |
620 |
She served the divorce papers herself. |
1.4194 |
0.06588 |
124 |
90 |
16 |
18 |
621 |
My back-stabbing wife just filed for divorce. |
1.4194 |
0.06177 |
124 |
86 |
24 |
14 |
622 |
Yeah, I don’t think she wants to talk it over anymore. |
1.4194 |
0.05503 |
124 |
80 |
36 |
8 |
623 |
Yes Dear, by the way your Mother came by and left you a note. |
1.4194 |
0.06282 |
124 |
87 |
22 |
15 |
624 |
I used to feel like I was on top of my to-do list, but now it's killing me. |
1.4194 |
0.05850 |
124 |
83 |
30 |
11 |
625 |
I got the bill from the acupuncturist today. |
1.4194 |
0.06070 |
124 |
85 |
26 |
13 |
626 |
I won't be into work today. My wife stuck me with the grocery list. |
1.4194 |
0.05850 |
124 |
83 |
30 |
11 |
627 |
So I take it you didn't like the edits? |
1.4194 |
0.05737 |
124 |
82 |
32 |
10 |
628 |
She did leave a note, but no forwarding address. |
1.4194 |
0.06282 |
124 |
87 |
22 |
15 |
629 |
You'll find a note attached from my wife. |
1.4194 |
0.05850 |
124 |
83 |
30 |
11 |
630 |
Your letter pains me. |
1.4194 |
0.05961 |
124 |
84 |
28 |
12 |
631 |
Our new health insurance plan has arrived. |
1.4194 |
0.06070 |
124 |
85 |
26 |
13 |
632 |
Et tu, Wells Fargo? |
1.4194 |
0.06282 |
124 |
87 |
22 |
15 |
633 |
Yes, I'd like to go paperless. |
1.4194 |
0.06282 |
124 |
87 |
22 |
15 |
634 |
Apparently, there is no grace period. |
1.4194 |
0.05737 |
124 |
82 |
32 |
10 |
635 |
As far as prenups go, it could have been worse |
1.4194 |
0.05383 |
124 |
79 |
38 |
7 |
636 |
No I can't hold. |
1.4194 |
0.05961 |
124 |
84 |
28 |
12 |
637 |
Well, let's just say the editor thought the manuscript needed more work. |
1.4194 |
0.05737 |
124 |
82 |
32 |
10 |
638 |
I was pained by your message. |
1.4194 |
0.06177 |
124 |
86 |
24 |
14 |
639 |
The good news is there's a signed confession. |
1.4194 |
0.06070 |
124 |
85 |
26 |
13 |
640 |
Yes, the divorce settlement agreement just arrived. |
1.4194 |
0.06282 |
124 |
87 |
22 |
15 |
641 |
I'd like to place an obituary. |
1.4160 |
0.06030 |
125 |
86 |
26 |
13 |
642 |
It’s like this nagging pain that someone is trying to tell me something. |
1.4160 |
0.05469 |
125 |
81 |
36 |
8 |
643 |
Hello Mom I hate to tell you this, but I think the wedding is off. |
1.4160 |
0.05923 |
125 |
85 |
28 |
12 |
644 |
I'd like to reschedule our couples counseling session |
1.4160 |
0.06137 |
125 |
87 |
24 |
14 |
645 |
No, the divorce isn't quite final yet. |
1.4146 |
0.05528 |
123 |
80 |
35 |
8 |
646 |
Never discuss divorce with an angry Lutheran. |
1.4146 |
0.06316 |
123 |
87 |
21 |
15 |
647 |
Ok.. you made your point... |
1.4146 |
0.05764 |
123 |
82 |
31 |
10 |
648 |
I don’t know. She didn’t even leave a note. |
1.4146 |
0.05406 |
123 |
79 |
37 |
7 |
649 |
The homeowner association left a notice, they said they won't be as friendly next time. |
1.4146 |
0.05878 |
123 |
83 |
29 |
11 |
650 |
Is the pre-nup still good if there's a little blood on it? |
1.4146 |
0.05764 |
123 |
82 |
31 |
10 |
651 |
Let's just say she's serious about the divorce. |
1.4146 |
0.05878 |
123 |
83 |
29 |
11 |
652 |
This is not what I meant by more direct communication! |
1.4146 |
0.05878 |
123 |
83 |
29 |
11 |
653 |
"I don't know... it usually just says 'kick me.' |
1.4146 |
0.05991 |
123 |
84 |
27 |
12 |
654 |
Between C7 and T1 a sharp but relatively shallow pain. |
1.4146 |
0.06101 |
123 |
85 |
25 |
13 |
655 |
What goodbye note? |
1.4146 |
0.05878 |
123 |
83 |
29 |
11 |
656 |
It's the thoughts that hurt. |
1.4146 |
0.05878 |
123 |
83 |
29 |
11 |
657 |
If I could read it, I wouldn't be calling you. |
1.4146 |
0.06316 |
123 |
87 |
21 |
15 |
658 |
All I said was, "Before the wedding, I think we should take a stab at writing a pre-nup." |
1.4146 |
0.05991 |
123 |
84 |
27 |
12 |
659 |
It says "middle class tax relief".... |
1.4146 |
0.05878 |
123 |
83 |
29 |
11 |
660 |
Yes, I'd like to file a complaint about how my newspaper is being delivered. |
1.4146 |
0.06316 |
123 |
87 |
21 |
15 |
661 |
Honey, I would sign the divorce papers if I could reach them. |
1.4146 |
0.05764 |
123 |
82 |
31 |
10 |
662 |
Yes her depression has lifted significantly since she's been practicing her direct communication skills. |
1.4146 |
0.05991 |
123 |
84 |
27 |
12 |
663 |
Roman Catholic. Why do you ask? |
1.4146 |
0.05878 |
123 |
83 |
29 |
11 |
664 |
No I can’t read what it says |
1.4146 |
0.05878 |
123 |
83 |
29 |
11 |
665 |
Hello, Jim. Can we rewrite the prenuptial agreement? |
1.4146 |
0.06209 |
123 |
86 |
23 |
14 |
666 |
I'd like to report a...yes, I'll hold. |
1.4146 |
0.05878 |
123 |
83 |
29 |
11 |
667 |
Yes dear, I did hear from your lawyer. |
1.4132 |
0.05588 |
121 |
79 |
34 |
8 |
668 |
I think I said "more backstory" one too many times. |
1.4132 |
0.06061 |
121 |
83 |
26 |
12 |
669 |
That's right. I was attacked by a Lutheran. |
1.4132 |
0.06174 |
121 |
84 |
24 |
13 |
670 |
No, I haven't read it yet but I think I've got the general concept. |
1.4132 |
0.06393 |
121 |
86 |
20 |
15 |
671 |
Yes, I would like to change my notification settings. |
1.4132 |
0.06605 |
121 |
88 |
16 |
17 |
672 |
I saw her reviewing the prenup, but I can't see whether she signed it. |
1.4132 |
0.06174 |
121 |
84 |
24 |
13 |
673 |
No...she's not here, but she left a note. |
1.4132 |
0.06061 |
121 |
83 |
26 |
12 |
674 |
No, it does not say "kick me". |
1.4132 |
0.05829 |
121 |
81 |
30 |
10 |
675 |
I've been stabbed in the back before, but never by an English major. |
1.4132 |
0.05829 |
121 |
81 |
30 |
10 |
676 |
Yes, I'd like to report a Reformation. |
1.4132 |
0.06061 |
121 |
83 |
26 |
12 |
677 |
I meant attach the document to an email. |
1.4132 |
0.05336 |
121 |
77 |
38 |
6 |
678 |
Yes dear, the divorce papers have arrived. |
1.4132 |
0.05946 |
121 |
82 |
28 |
11 |
679 |
Well, let's just say she wasn't too thrilled when I showed her the prenup. |
1.4132 |
0.05946 |
121 |
82 |
28 |
11 |
680 |
I'd like to opt out of notifications, please |
1.4132 |
0.06174 |
121 |
84 |
24 |
13 |
681 |
In my opinion the cancellation penalty is a bit harsh. |
1.4118 |
0.05522 |
119 |
77 |
35 |
7 |
682 |
Frank...its Tom. What's the customary way of serving divorce papers? |
1.4118 |
0.06133 |
119 |
82 |
25 |
12 |
683 |
No, divorce is when they stab you in the heart. This is just your standard student loans. |
1.4118 |
0.05775 |
119 |
79 |
31 |
9 |
684 |
Well, I did ask him to take a stab at the speech. |
1.4118 |
0.06133 |
119 |
82 |
25 |
12 |
685 |
She can't come to the phone right now. She's simmering. |
1.4118 |
0.05775 |
119 |
79 |
31 |
9 |
686 |
Sam, She signed the divorce papers. |
1.4118 |
0.06016 |
119 |
81 |
27 |
11 |
687 |
I can’t read it but I know it must be important. |
1.4118 |
0.05897 |
119 |
80 |
29 |
10 |
688 |
An email would have been sufficient. |
1.4118 |
0.05650 |
119 |
78 |
33 |
8 |
689 |
No, I don't know what it says but I think she's upset. |
1.4118 |
0.05897 |
119 |
80 |
29 |
10 |
690 |
"Middle class tax cuts". This isn't what I had in mind. |
1.4118 |
0.06472 |
119 |
85 |
19 |
15 |
691 |
I'd like to get something off my back. |
1.4118 |
0.05775 |
119 |
79 |
31 |
9 |
692 |
Ok. You can go back to using all caps to get my attention. |
1.4118 |
0.06361 |
119 |
84 |
21 |
14 |
693 |
It turns out, I do have a backbone. |
1.4118 |
0.06016 |
119 |
81 |
27 |
11 |
694 |
I'm not that Harvey Weinstein. |
1.4113 |
0.05840 |
124 |
84 |
29 |
11 |
695 |
She signed the pre-nup. Now what? |
1.4098 |
0.05907 |
122 |
83 |
28 |
11 |
696 |
You said the charges would not stick. |
1.4098 |
0.06132 |
122 |
85 |
24 |
13 |
697 |
Yes, Congress has taken a stab at tax reform. |
1.4098 |
0.06242 |
122 |
86 |
22 |
14 |
698 |
Yes, hello. I'd like to sign up to receive my statements online. |
1.4098 |
0.05673 |
122 |
81 |
32 |
9 |
699 |
I'd call it more of a stabbing pain... |
1.4098 |
0.06242 |
122 |
86 |
22 |
14 |
700 |
No, I didn’t misuse the word ‘literally.’ |
1.4098 |
0.06021 |
122 |
84 |
26 |
12 |
701 |
And can you send those refrigerator magnets with expedited shipping? |
1.4098 |
0.05791 |
122 |
82 |
30 |
10 |
702 |
I think maybe my wife found a letter from my mistress. |
1.4098 |
0.05791 |
122 |
82 |
30 |
10 |
703 |
I would love to join you Bob , but I have to conquer this to do list before it kills me. |
1.4098 |
0.05907 |
122 |
83 |
28 |
11 |
704 |
Let's just say she wouldn't sign the prenup... |
1.4098 |
0.06349 |
122 |
87 |
20 |
15 |
705 |
I'm pretty sure the prenup is a nonstarter. |
1.4098 |
0.06021 |
122 |
84 |
26 |
12 |
706 |
Never mind. I just received it. |
1.4098 |
0.05907 |
122 |
83 |
28 |
11 |
707 |
Got your note. A simple "yes" or "no" text would have been sufficient. |
1.4098 |
0.05429 |
122 |
79 |
36 |
7 |
708 |
No, I don’t think this is going to be an amicable divorce. |
1.4098 |
0.05791 |
122 |
82 |
30 |
10 |
709 |
Frankly, in retrospect, I would have preferred a Dear John text! |
1.4098 |
0.06242 |
122 |
86 |
22 |
14 |
710 |
Do you remember where you put my will? |
1.4098 |
0.06349 |
122 |
87 |
20 |
15 |
711 |
I think she's moved from cloak to dagger |
1.4083 |
0.05976 |
120 |
82 |
27 |
11 |
712 |
I would like to cancel the paper delivery. |
1.4083 |
0.06206 |
120 |
84 |
23 |
13 |
713 |
Yeah, I got the memo. |
1.4068 |
0.05925 |
118 |
80 |
28 |
10 |
714 |
The cable bill came. Apparently, our promotional rate ended. |
1.4068 |
0.06165 |
118 |
82 |
24 |
12 |
715 |
The worst part is the prose is terrible. |
1.4068 |
0.06046 |
118 |
81 |
26 |
11 |
716 |
Don't believe the suicide note. |
1.4068 |
0.06281 |
118 |
83 |
22 |
13 |
717 |
I never thought receiving a 'Dear John' letter would hurt so much. |
1.4068 |
0.05676 |
118 |
78 |
32 |
8 |
718 |
Yes, they've definitely pinned it on me. |
1.4068 |
0.05547 |
118 |
77 |
34 |
7 |
719 |
She didn't sign the prenup. |
1.4068 |
0.06281 |
118 |
83 |
22 |
13 |
720 |
It took a wee bit of compromise, but I finally got her to sign them. |
1.4068 |
0.06165 |
118 |
82 |
24 |
12 |
721 |
Honey, did you say you left me a grocery list somewhere? |
1.4068 |
0.06165 |
118 |
82 |
24 |
12 |
722 |
I just didn't think this was what they meant by "middle-class tax cut." |
1.4068 |
0.06396 |
118 |
84 |
20 |
14 |
723 |
Et tu, Alice |
1.4068 |
0.06165 |
118 |
82 |
24 |
12 |
724 |
I'm sensing this goes deeper than just words. |
1.4068 |
0.05676 |
118 |
78 |
32 |
8 |
725 |
Hello, Jake from State Farm? |
1.4068 |
0.06281 |
118 |
83 |
22 |
13 |
726 |
No, I don't mean that metaphorically. |
1.4068 |
0.06046 |
118 |
81 |
26 |
11 |
727 |
Sorry, but I'll have to skip the game today. Marge just reminded me of a few things on the "to do" list. |
1.4068 |
0.06165 |
118 |
82 |
24 |
12 |
728 |
I think the attacker may have left a note. |
1.4052 |
0.06120 |
116 |
80 |
25 |
11 |
729 |
Sure I can hold. |
1.4052 |
0.06241 |
116 |
81 |
23 |
12 |
730 |
Well, we've certainly moved past 'idle threats'. How are you? |
1.4052 |
0.06591 |
116 |
84 |
17 |
15 |
731 |
He said his name was Luther. Martin Luther. L-u-t-h-e-r. |
1.4052 |
0.06360 |
116 |
82 |
21 |
13 |
732 |
Your mother has 95 complaints against me and it hurts. |
1.4052 |
0.06120 |
116 |
80 |
25 |
11 |
733 |
I'm quite certain she's not coming back |
1.4052 |
0.05996 |
116 |
79 |
27 |
10 |
734 |
Judging from the way I was served, I suspect divorce is no longer just an idle threat. |
1.4052 |
0.06120 |
116 |
80 |
25 |
11 |
735 |
Yes, officer, she did leave a note before she went missing. |
1.4052 |
0.06241 |
116 |
81 |
23 |
12 |
736 |
I think we're out of post-it notes. |
1.4052 |
0.05869 |
116 |
78 |
29 |
9 |
737 |
Ok. OK! I'll switch to e-billing. |
1.4052 |
0.06120 |
116 |
80 |
25 |
11 |
738 |
If you think the Jehovah's Witnesses are bad, wait until you see these Lutherans. |
1.4052 |
0.06241 |
116 |
81 |
23 |
12 |
739 |
No mom. I think it's more of a 'dear Julius' letter. |
1.4052 |
0.06120 |
116 |
80 |
25 |
11 |
740 |
I want to file a complaint about your process server |
1.4052 |
0.06120 |
116 |
80 |
25 |
11 |
741 |
I take it you didn't like my edits. |
1.4052 |
0.05192 |
116 |
73 |
39 |
4 |
742 |
Yes, I'm fairly certain the divorce papers have arrived. |
1.4052 |
0.05740 |
116 |
77 |
31 |
8 |
743 |
You win. You lawyer is better than mine. |
1.4052 |
0.05473 |
116 |
75 |
35 |
6 |
744 |
Hello John? My wife finally signed the divorce papers. |
1.4052 |
0.05740 |
116 |
77 |
31 |
8 |
745 |
I’m telling you, there’s a contract out on me. |
1.4052 |
0.06360 |
116 |
82 |
21 |
13 |
746 |
I'm guessing they thought our offer was a little low. |
1.4052 |
0.05740 |
116 |
77 |
31 |
8 |
747 |
I'd like to report a threatening letter. |
1.4052 |
0.05996 |
116 |
79 |
27 |
10 |
748 |
No, she did not sign the divorce papers. |
1.4052 |
0.05869 |
116 |
78 |
29 |
9 |
749 |
I think we're beyond mediation. |
1.4052 |
0.05996 |
116 |
79 |
27 |
10 |
750 |
Yes, the divorce is now final. |
1.4052 |
0.06591 |
116 |
84 |
17 |
15 |
751 |
No, I don't mean that figuratively. |
1.4052 |
0.06360 |
116 |
82 |
21 |
13 |
752 |
Hello, I would like to report a heretic. |
1.4052 |
0.06360 |
116 |
82 |
21 |
13 |
753 |
It's more of a "Honey Don't" list |
1.4052 |
0.05996 |
116 |
79 |
27 |
10 |
754 |
Unfortunately, I can confirm his story about why he didn't turn in his homework. |
1.4052 |
0.06477 |
116 |
83 |
19 |
14 |
755 |
No, I can't read them, but I'm pretty sure they're divorce papers. |
1.4052 |
0.06704 |
116 |
85 |
15 |
16 |
756 |
You're going to have to read it for me but I got the gist. |
1.4052 |
0.05740 |
116 |
77 |
31 |
8 |
757 |
Couldn’t you have just texted me? |
1.4052 |
0.05996 |
116 |
79 |
27 |
10 |
758 |
I had hoped she'd file divorce papers, but it still hurts. |
1.4052 |
0.06241 |
116 |
81 |
23 |
12 |
759 |
I feel as though she doesn't want to talk about it |
1.4052 |
0.05869 |
116 |
78 |
29 |
9 |
760 |
You win. Can I pay on the phone? |
1.4052 |
0.05740 |
116 |
77 |
31 |
8 |
761 |
I'd like to start getting my phone bill by email. |
1.4052 |
0.06241 |
116 |
81 |
23 |
12 |
762 |
I think I have just been served. |
1.4052 |
0.05996 |
116 |
79 |
27 |
10 |
763 |
Apparently, I failed to agree with the terms of service. |
1.4035 |
0.06068 |
114 |
78 |
26 |
10 |
764 |
Yes, I guess she could have used a Post-it note. |
1.4035 |
0.06068 |
114 |
78 |
26 |
10 |
765 |
Yes, he left of demands. No, I can’t read them to you. |
1.4035 |
0.05939 |
114 |
77 |
28 |
9 |
766 |
I believe my wife might be filing for divorce. |
1.4035 |
0.05672 |
114 |
75 |
32 |
7 |
767 |
I'm not sure, what does a Dear John letter look like? |
1.4035 |
0.06068 |
114 |
78 |
26 |
10 |
768 |
This time I think she's serious about her to do list. |
1.4035 |
0.06319 |
114 |
80 |
22 |
12 |
769 |
She served the divorce papers this morning. |
1.4017 |
0.06197 |
117 |
82 |
23 |
12 |
770 |
I'm not sure what are his demands are, but he definitely has my attention. |
1.3982 |
0.06227 |
113 |
79 |
23 |
11 |
771 |
It seems we've run out of post it notes. |
1.3982 |
0.05557 |
113 |
74 |
33 |
6 |
772 |
Honey, I'm painfully aware of your to-do list. |
1.3982 |
0.06353 |
113 |
80 |
21 |
12 |
773 |
Yes, Maude, I got your text, email and the letter stuck to the knife in my back. Thanks for checking. |
1.3982 |
0.06227 |
113 |
79 |
23 |
11 |
774 |
I got your note but haven't been able to read it yet. |
1.3982 |
0.05557 |
113 |
74 |
33 |
6 |
775 |
I can’t get my hands on that document right now. |
1.3982 |
0.06099 |
113 |
78 |
25 |
10 |
776 |
Fine, Lois, I'll sign, but one point is still bothering me. |
1.3982 |
0.05557 |
113 |
74 |
33 |
6 |
777 |
One student really nailed his thesis on Martin Luther. |
1.3982 |
0.05968 |
113 |
77 |
27 |
9 |
778 |
Sorry, you just missed her. |
1.3982 |
0.05968 |
113 |
77 |
27 |
9 |
779 |
I think she’s serious about this divorce thing. |
1.3982 |
0.06099 |
113 |
78 |
25 |
10 |
780 |
Okay...I got the point...what's the message? |
1.3982 |
0.06099 |
113 |
78 |
25 |
10 |
781 |
Unsubscribe |
1.3982 |
0.06353 |
113 |
80 |
21 |
12 |
782 |
No. What "Dear John" letter? |
1.3982 |
0.05697 |
113 |
75 |
31 |
7 |
783 |
Arlene was less than enthusiastic when I asked her to sign a prenuptial agreement. |
1.3982 |
0.06227 |
113 |
79 |
23 |
11 |
784 |
Sheila, where did you put the divorce papers? |
1.3982 |
0.06476 |
113 |
81 |
19 |
13 |
785 |
My sense is we still don't have agreement on the terms. |
1.3982 |
0.05968 |
113 |
77 |
27 |
9 |
786 |
I have a feeling this divorce procedure is going to be more acrimonious than we thought. |
1.3982 |
0.05557 |
113 |
74 |
33 |
6 |
787 |
You can just go back to slipping the menus under the door. |
1.3982 |
0.05697 |
113 |
75 |
31 |
7 |
788 |
She has a few more amendments to the Prenup. |
1.3964 |
0.06685 |
111 |
81 |
16 |
14 |
789 |
Yes, she is serious about the divorce. |
1.3964 |
0.05904 |
111 |
75 |
28 |
8 |
790 |
I think the trial separation ship has sailed. |
1.3964 |
0.06561 |
111 |
80 |
18 |
13 |
791 |
that note you let...I'm having difficulty reading it. |
1.3964 |
0.06175 |
111 |
77 |
24 |
10 |
792 |
Did I get the pre-nup back? Yea, I got the pre-nup back. |
1.3964 |
0.06306 |
111 |
78 |
22 |
11 |
793 |
Yes dear, I got your note. |
1.3964 |
0.05904 |
111 |
75 |
28 |
8 |
794 |
After she presented me the papers, I said “Why don’t you just go ahead and stab me back while you’re at it?” Boy, am I glad I didn’t say anything about testicles! |
1.3964 |
0.06041 |
111 |
76 |
26 |
9 |
795 |
Hello. Is Martin Luther there? |
1.3964 |
0.06435 |
111 |
79 |
20 |
12 |
796 |
Well, the good news is that I'm on the front page... |
1.3964 |
0.06041 |
111 |
76 |
26 |
9 |
797 |
Well, the good news is she finally signed the divorce papers. |
1.3964 |
0.05904 |
111 |
75 |
28 |
8 |
798 |
OK, so just what DOES constitute "irreconcilable differences? |
1.3964 |
0.06041 |
111 |
76 |
26 |
9 |
799 |
Your mother stopped by and left you a note. |
1.3964 |
0.06435 |
111 |
79 |
20 |
12 |
800 |
My wife says she was inspired by Martin Luther. |
1.3964 |
0.06175 |
111 |
77 |
24 |
10 |
801 |
Yes, they are sharp words dear, but I do get the point. |
1.3964 |
0.06041 |
111 |
76 |
26 |
9 |
802 |
You put the instructions on the back of what? |
1.3964 |
0.06306 |
111 |
78 |
22 |
11 |
803 |
No, counseling is not an option. |
1.3964 |
0.06175 |
111 |
77 |
24 |
10 |
804 |
hello Amazon, I'd like to report a drone misfire |
1.3964 |
0.06041 |
111 |
76 |
26 |
9 |
805 |
What divorce papers?! |
1.3964 |
0.06306 |
111 |
78 |
22 |
11 |
806 |
Occasionally, the sword is actually mightier than the pen. |
1.3964 |
0.05620 |
111 |
73 |
32 |
6 |
807 |
I can't come in today -- I'm stuck at home. |
1.3964 |
0.06041 |
111 |
76 |
26 |
9 |
808 |
I don't think my fiance is going to sign those prenuptial papers. |
1.3964 |
0.05904 |
111 |
75 |
28 |
8 |
809 |
The divorce is final and I got the cutlery! |
1.3964 |
0.06175 |
111 |
77 |
24 |
10 |
810 |
I’ve heard from your lawyer. |
1.3964 |
0.06306 |
111 |
78 |
22 |
11 |
811 |
Don't expect me to take this lying down. |
1.3964 |
0.06175 |
111 |
77 |
24 |
10 |
812 |
So then I said, I would rather stick a knife through my back than sign this contract |
1.3945 |
0.05976 |
109 |
74 |
27 |
8 |
813 |
A Post-It would have been perfectly adequate. |
1.3945 |
0.06116 |
109 |
75 |
25 |
9 |
814 |
They did send a rather pointed message. |
1.3945 |
0.05976 |
109 |
74 |
27 |
8 |
815 |
My wife took a stab at filing for divorce. |
1.3945 |
0.06388 |
109 |
77 |
21 |
11 |
816 |
All I said to her is, I can't believe you have all those issues with me, I would like to see a list! |
1.3945 |
0.06254 |
109 |
76 |
23 |
10 |
817 |
Yes, she's just given me feedback on the settlement. |
1.3945 |
0.06254 |
109 |
76 |
23 |
10 |
818 |
He left me this really passive aggressive note. |
1.3945 |
0.06254 |
109 |
76 |
23 |
10 |
819 |
'I don't think it's a love letter; more like a list of grievances...' |
1.3945 |
0.06116 |
109 |
75 |
25 |
9 |
820 |
I didn't get to read it yet, but I have a sneakng suspicion this is their final notice . |
1.3945 |
0.06520 |
109 |
78 |
19 |
12 |
821 |
I'd like to report an overzealous process server. |
1.3945 |
0.05976 |
109 |
74 |
27 |
8 |
822 |
Yes, her attorney just served me with the divorce papers. |
1.3945 |
0.06388 |
109 |
77 |
21 |
11 |
823 |
I think someone in the office might be a back stabber. |
1.3945 |
0.06116 |
109 |
75 |
25 |
9 |
824 |
. . .she was quite pointed with her demands. |
1.3945 |
0.05976 |
109 |
74 |
27 |
8 |
825 |
But the good news, my darling, is that she finally signed the divorce papers. |
1.3945 |
0.06388 |
109 |
77 |
21 |
11 |
826 |
Yes, I'd like to cancel my home delivery service. |
1.3945 |
0.05533 |
109 |
71 |
33 |
5 |
827 |
The wedding is still on, but she’d like a few changes in the prenup. |
1.3945 |
0.06520 |
109 |
78 |
19 |
12 |
828 |
I want out. This contract is killing me. |
1.3945 |
0.05684 |
109 |
72 |
31 |
6 |
829 |
So I assume an amicable divorce is out of the question? |
1.3945 |
0.05976 |
109 |
74 |
27 |
8 |
830 |
Not sure yet , but I think she wants a divorce |
1.3945 |
0.06254 |
109 |
76 |
23 |
10 |
831 |
And THEN he said, 'if you have already made a payment, please disregard this reminder'... |
1.3945 |
0.05684 |
109 |
72 |
31 |
6 |
832 |
I'm calling to complain about your process server. |
1.3945 |
0.05832 |
109 |
73 |
29 |
7 |
833 |
No officer, I haven't had a chance to read the ransom note yet. |
1.3945 |
0.06254 |
109 |
76 |
23 |
10 |
834 |
Hello, Equifax? I've got some lingering questions about the 'Terms of Service Agreement' that your special courier just delivered. |
1.3945 |
0.05976 |
109 |
74 |
27 |
8 |
835 |
I thought we agreed to bury the hatchet. |
1.3945 |
0.05976 |
109 |
74 |
27 |
8 |
836 |
I'm not sure what it says |
1.3945 |
0.06116 |
109 |
75 |
25 |
9 |
837 |
Hi, can you help me change my delivery preferences? |
1.3945 |
0.06254 |
109 |
76 |
23 |
10 |
838 |
No, she's not coming back. I haven't read the note yet, but the signs are pretty clear. |
1.3945 |
0.05976 |
109 |
74 |
27 |
8 |
839 |
Yes, I feel the criticism was very pointed. |
1.3945 |
0.06254 |
109 |
76 |
23 |
10 |
840 |
No, I don't think it's going to be amicable. |
1.3929 |
0.06130 |
112 |
78 |
24 |
10 |
841 |
No, I haven't seen your 10 page letter about me being insensitive and unfeeling. |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
842 |
Yes, She gave me the divorce papers...a few minutes ago...No, I need to talk to a doctor before I sign anything. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
843 |
I think it's time to ditch the landline. The bill is literally killing me. |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
844 |
Why yes, she did leave a note... |
1.3925 |
0.05902 |
107 |
72 |
28 |
7 |
845 |
I got a rather pointed response. |
1.3925 |
0.06050 |
107 |
73 |
26 |
8 |
846 |
I'm tired of always getting stuck with a long list of chores. |
1.3925 |
0.05902 |
107 |
72 |
28 |
7 |
847 |
Wittenberg Residence |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
848 |
Where did you leave it? |
1.3925 |
0.05902 |
107 |
72 |
28 |
7 |
849 |
No need to come to the E.R. Mr. Jones, that’s just the new middle class tax cuts your feeling. |
1.3925 |
0.06869 |
107 |
79 |
14 |
14 |
850 |
I have a great back story to tell you, if only I could get around to it. |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
851 |
Apparently I have been served. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
852 |
As if the knife in the back wasn't self explanatory. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
853 |
Yes dear you made your point, words do hurt. |
1.3925 |
0.06607 |
107 |
77 |
18 |
12 |
854 |
No, I haven't seen your note yet, but I have a feeling about it. |
1.3925 |
0.05751 |
107 |
71 |
30 |
6 |
855 |
Kushner speaking. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
856 |
...but the good news is she signed the divorce papers. |
1.3925 |
0.06050 |
107 |
73 |
26 |
8 |
857 |
A back due notice has been brought to my attention. |
1.3925 |
0.05902 |
107 |
72 |
28 |
7 |
858 |
Are you saying you don' t want to give marriage counseling a go? |
1.3925 |
0.06050 |
107 |
73 |
26 |
8 |
859 |
It's not that she broke it off, it's the way she did it that hurts more than anything else |
1.3925 |
0.05751 |
107 |
71 |
30 |
6 |
860 |
Yes, I’m calling him a back-stabber. No, I don’t mean it metaphorically. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
861 |
My wife makes a strong point |
1.3925 |
0.05751 |
107 |
71 |
30 |
6 |
862 |
I'd like to report a malicious posting. |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
863 |
Yup, the back pain is getting worse, and I still can't find the will. |
1.3925 |
0.06050 |
107 |
73 |
26 |
8 |
864 |
Can't you just leave a message on my voicemail like everyone else? |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
865 |
I jokingly told her to take a stab at it. |
1.3925 |
0.06050 |
107 |
73 |
26 |
8 |
866 |
It’s just a feeling I have |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
867 |
So, do you remember when he promised he’d take care of us…health insurance for everybody…tax cuts for the middle class..? |
1.3925 |
0.06996 |
107 |
80 |
12 |
15 |
868 |
It's a rather threatening note. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
869 |
My back hurts and, no, I did't see your stupid note |
1.3909 |
0.06470 |
110 |
79 |
19 |
12 |
870 |
Is this the Anger Management Hotline? |
1.3889 |
0.06556 |
108 |
78 |
18 |
12 |
871 |
Describe my symptoms? Well, I'm feeling a little listless, and there's a stabbing pain in my back. |
1.3889 |
0.05859 |
108 |
73 |
28 |
7 |
872 |
This new ‘Rate Your Professor’ interface is problematic. |
1.3889 |
0.06422 |
108 |
77 |
20 |
11 |
873 |
Hey Roger, so let me tell you how that whole prenup issue went over.... |
1.3889 |
0.06422 |
108 |
77 |
20 |
11 |
874 |
I just got the newest version of the tax reform bill. |
1.3889 |
0.06005 |
108 |
74 |
26 |
8 |
875 |
Well, the divorce is final. |
1.3868 |
0.06080 |
106 |
73 |
25 |
8 |
876 |
I'd like to stop my mail please. |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
877 |
No, things are not improving at work. |
1.3868 |
0.06645 |
106 |
77 |
17 |
12 |
878 |
I think she means it, this time. |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
879 |
You couldn't have had a sheriff's deputy deliver the divorce papers like everyone else? |
1.3868 |
0.06080 |
106 |
73 |
25 |
8 |
880 |
I think because of my rogue apostrophes. |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
881 |
I'd like to report what I think is a hate crime. |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
882 |
I think it’s just a paper cut. |
1.3868 |
0.06080 |
106 |
73 |
25 |
8 |
883 |
No, I haven't read your letter, but I get the point. |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
884 |
Yes, an ambulance and a pen. |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
885 |
Yes, I did receive your previous message, thank you. |
1.3868 |
0.05777 |
106 |
71 |
29 |
6 |
886 |
Hold off on the ice sculpture. The pre-nup seems to have ticked her off a bit. |
1.3868 |
0.06645 |
106 |
77 |
17 |
12 |
887 |
On second thought I've decided to accept all the editorial suggestions. |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
888 |
I laughed when she said it was an unauthorized autobiography. |
1.3868 |
0.06508 |
106 |
76 |
19 |
11 |
889 |
I would like to order a refrigerator |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
890 |
I'd like to switch my subscription to "Online Only" please. |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
891 |
Honey, I'm sorry to bother you at work but where did you leave the grocery shopping list?? |
1.3868 |
0.07039 |
106 |
80 |
11 |
15 |
892 |
What––you couldn't just text? |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
893 |
My acupuncturist made a point of informing me of his cancellation policy. |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
894 |
You know that spot right in the middle of your back that you just can't reach? |
1.3868 |
0.05619 |
106 |
70 |
31 |
5 |
895 |
Hi, Bob. Can you come over and read something for me? |
1.3868 |
0.05930 |
106 |
72 |
27 |
7 |
896 |
The kids are taking their Reformation studies a little too seriously. |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
897 |
Oh, no! You're not pinning this one on me! |
1.3868 |
0.06508 |
106 |
76 |
19 |
11 |
898 |
Yes, I received your attachment. |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
899 |
I sense you've been letting things build up again. |
1.3868 |
0.06080 |
106 |
73 |
25 |
8 |
900 |
The complaints may be justified, but not the delivery. |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
901 |
Yes, dear, but I haven't read it yet! |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
902 |
Can you recommend a good lawyer? I'm sure it's going to be a bitter divorce. |
1.3868 |
0.05930 |
106 |
72 |
27 |
7 |
903 |
Well, regardless of whether their demand list is reasonable, I have a small issue with the delivery method. |
1.3868 |
0.05930 |
106 |
72 |
27 |
7 |
904 |
Mrs. Luther, please come pick up Marty. He’s totally out of control. |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
905 |
I can't. I'm stuck at home. |
1.3868 |
0.06508 |
106 |
76 |
19 |
11 |
906 |
What do you mean, "Is there a backstory?" |
1.3868 |
0.06080 |
106 |
73 |
25 |
8 |
907 |
I don't think this is how arbitration is supposed to work. |
1.3868 |
0.06226 |
106 |
74 |
23 |
9 |
908 |
I guess this finalizes our divorce. |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
909 |
We're out of Post-it notes again. |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
910 |
Yes, dear. I got your note. It came as quite a surprise. |
1.3868 |
0.05619 |
106 |
70 |
31 |
5 |
911 |
Honey, Do you know what happened to the "to do" list I left for you on the refrigerator? |
1.3868 |
0.06080 |
106 |
73 |
25 |
8 |
912 |
I'm sorry I don't have it in front of me but I can only assume I'm in serious trouble. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
913 |
I think she took the kids, the silver and most of the cutlery. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
914 |
Well, I don’t know. How would YOU define ‘emergency’? |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
915 |
I got your note, but I'm having a hard time seeing your perspective. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
916 |
I simply asked if they had any Girl Scout cookies that were vegan, gluten free, made in a factory without nuts, and if they were ethically sourced. |
1.3846 |
0.05847 |
104 |
70 |
28 |
6 |
917 |
Yes, it is a bad time. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
918 |
It was Admiral Arthur with the Hunting Knife in the Library just as I finished the manuscript. Please send an ambulance. |
1.3846 |
0.06597 |
104 |
75 |
18 |
11 |
919 |
Why yes, I did receive your killer memorandum. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
920 |
Divorce papers? Of course I would know if I had been served with divorce papers. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
921 |
The news is killing me. |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
922 |
Yes, apparently, my wife has her own list of 95 grievances. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
923 |
Yes, Mary left me a dear John letter, but I can’t put my hands on it. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
924 |
Do you recall what we did with the 'Do Not Resuscitate' forms? |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
925 |
I'm getting so much resistance from behind. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
926 |
Hey... So I got your message |
1.3846 |
0.05847 |
104 |
70 |
28 |
6 |
927 |
Please cancel my subscription immediately. |
1.3846 |
0.06737 |
104 |
76 |
16 |
12 |
928 |
Exactly what did you mean when you said, "I've got your back?" |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
929 |
I have not read the fine print, no. |
1.3846 |
0.05847 |
104 |
70 |
28 |
6 |
930 |
What's black and white and red all over? |
1.3846 |
0.06737 |
104 |
76 |
16 |
12 |
931 |
Yes, I got your list of demands. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
932 |
No, the handwriting is definitely not on the wall. |
1.3846 |
0.06737 |
104 |
76 |
16 |
12 |
933 |
I'd like to report a malicious posting. |
1.3846 |
0.06597 |
104 |
75 |
18 |
11 |
934 |
Well, the ‘Honey Do’ List isn’t so passive-aggressive any more. |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
935 |
I got the note. |
1.3846 |
0.06874 |
104 |
77 |
14 |
13 |
936 |
It was how she delivered the papers that really stung. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
937 |
911? Help! I just received the tax reform bill. |
1.3846 |
0.06597 |
104 |
75 |
18 |
11 |
938 |
You had me at "goodbye." |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
939 |
Yes, the divorce papers arrived. Was she angry? I couldn't tell... |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
940 |
So I guess couple's therapy is out of the question. |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
941 |
You left a note? What note? |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
942 |
Hello Anton Press, I just got your rejection of my short story and it was very hurtful. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
943 |
In the future, can you just e-mail me? |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
944 |
Let me fill you in on my backstory, which is quite painful to discuss. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
945 |
I just thought the vacuum cleaner was the perfect present. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
946 |
I gotta tell you, these itemized bills are killing me. |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
947 |
With all due respect Sir, these back taxes are killing me |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
948 |
Apparently it's gone beyond just cleaning his litter box more often. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
949 |
Martin Luther, please. Yes, I’ll hold. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
950 |
She served the divorce papers. Something tells me this is going to be nasty. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
951 |
I'm looking for a policy that covers a coexisting condition. |
1.3846 |
0.06737 |
104 |
76 |
16 |
12 |
952 |
She says I've no feelings. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
953 |
I"m not sure, but I suspect it's a "Dear John" letter. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
954 |
I guess Mueller is serious about wanting me to come testify. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
955 |
Yeah, it's the new Obamacare repeal bill. Can't the doctor see me before Tuesday? |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
956 |
All I said was "I don't think a President should tweet". |
1.3846 |
0.06597 |
104 |
75 |
18 |
11 |
957 |
I think I've been served. |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
958 |
Martin, for the 95th time, your thesis proposal was not accepted. |
1.3832 |
0.06457 |
107 |
77 |
19 |
11 |
959 |
Good news. We can set the date. My wife signed the divorce papers. |
1.3824 |
0.05919 |
102 |
69 |
27 |
6 |
960 |
I'm not angry, it just hurts. |
1.3824 |
0.06542 |
102 |
73 |
19 |
10 |
961 |
I haven’t gotten around to reading it. |
1.3824 |
0.05919 |
102 |
69 |
27 |
6 |
962 |
Their reply was pointed, to say the least. |
1.3824 |
0.06080 |
102 |
70 |
25 |
7 |
963 |
I don't know what the terms of divorce are, but they sure hurt. |
1.3824 |
0.06080 |
102 |
70 |
25 |
7 |
964 |
I have the feeling that a number of pointed remarks were made about me behind my back |
1.3824 |
0.06392 |
102 |
72 |
21 |
9 |
965 |
Get me my lawyer. And my doctor. |
1.3824 |
0.05919 |
102 |
69 |
27 |
6 |
966 |
I'll go ahead and shoot you a reply. |
1.3824 |
0.06689 |
102 |
74 |
17 |
11 |
967 |
Yes, dear, it hurts more than acupuncture. |
1.3824 |
0.05581 |
102 |
67 |
31 |
4 |
968 |
The divorce papers just arrived. |
1.3824 |
0.06542 |
102 |
73 |
19 |
10 |
969 |
I have questions about your terms and conditions. |
1.3824 |
0.06392 |
102 |
72 |
21 |
9 |
970 |
No, I think this time she really means it. |
1.3824 |
0.06238 |
102 |
71 |
23 |
8 |
971 |
A PDF would have sufficed. |
1.3824 |
0.06392 |
102 |
72 |
21 |
9 |
972 |
Yes,thank you, I received your demands but I can't actually read them. |
1.3824 |
0.06238 |
102 |
71 |
23 |
8 |
973 |
I’ve tried to read it in the mirror, but the print is backwards. |
1.3824 |
0.06238 |
102 |
71 |
23 |
8 |
974 |
No, I think I can state with some certainty that she won't sign the prenuptial agreement you prepared? |
1.3824 |
0.06689 |
102 |
74 |
17 |
11 |
975 |
Yes, he is a back stabber. Why do you ask? |
1.3824 |
0.06080 |
102 |
70 |
25 |
7 |
976 |
911? Yeah, I've got this stabbing pain in my divorce papers... er, back... |
1.3824 |
0.05919 |
102 |
69 |
27 |
6 |
977 |
No, she left a few minutes ago, but she did leave a homocide note. |
1.3824 |
0.06542 |
102 |
73 |
19 |
10 |
978 |
Hi sweetie, where did you say you put the grocery list? |
1.3824 |
0.06542 |
102 |
73 |
19 |
10 |
979 |
I received your final notice. |
1.3824 |
0.06392 |
102 |
72 |
21 |
9 |
980 |
I'm not denying that I owe the money. I'm taking issue with your collection methods. |
1.3824 |
0.06080 |
102 |
70 |
25 |
7 |
981 |
It would be easier to read if you'd just left it on the nightstand. |
1.3824 |
0.06080 |
102 |
70 |
25 |
7 |
982 |
I'm assuming my manuscript was rejected. |
1.3824 |
0.06238 |
102 |
71 |
23 |
8 |
983 |
I said I'll take a stab at paying the bills. Then she said she had a better idea. |
1.3824 |
0.06080 |
102 |
70 |
25 |
7 |
984 |
I'd like to make a back payment. |
1.3824 |
0.06542 |
102 |
73 |
19 |
10 |
985 |
I just got served with divorce papers. |
1.3824 |
0.06238 |
102 |
71 |
23 |
8 |
986 |
Note? What note? |
1.3824 |
0.06080 |
102 |
70 |
25 |
7 |
987 |
I think she's serious this time. |
1.3824 |
0.06238 |
102 |
71 |
23 |
8 |
988 |
The divorce is going about as well as I expected. |
1.3824 |
0.05919 |
102 |
69 |
27 |
6 |
989 |
I haven't read it yet, but I think she wants a divorce. |
1.3824 |
0.06689 |
102 |
74 |
17 |
11 |
990 |
She not signing the pre nup. |
1.3824 |
0.06832 |
102 |
75 |
15 |
12 |
991 |
Yes the knife hurts, but the disclaimers are killing me. |
1.3824 |
0.06542 |
102 |
73 |
19 |
10 |
992 |
Yes, she got back to me on the proposed changes to the prenup. |
1.3824 |
0.06542 |
102 |
73 |
19 |
10 |
993 |
Hey - I need for you to come over,and read something to me. |
1.3824 |
0.06238 |
102 |
71 |
23 |
8 |
994 |
No, it’s more of a stabbing pain. |
1.3824 |
0.06689 |
102 |
74 |
17 |
11 |
995 |
She left. She wouldn't sign the prenup. |
1.3824 |
0.06392 |
102 |
72 |
21 |
9 |
996 |
You could have used tape. |
1.3824 |
0.06542 |
102 |
73 |
19 |
10 |
997 |
I’d like to report a death by fake news. |
1.3810 |
0.06258 |
105 |
74 |
22 |
9 |
998 |
Marjorie, I'm having trouble reading your to-do list. |
1.3810 |
0.06258 |
105 |
74 |
22 |
9 |
999 |
When she said, “I’ve got your back,” I thought it was a good thing. |
1.3800 |
0.06479 |
100 |
71 |
20 |
9 |
1000 |
These manuscript rejections are killing me. |
1.3800 |
0.05646 |
100 |
66 |
30 |
4 |
1001 |
I'm sure there's an emoticon that would have worked just as well. |
1.3800 |
0.06633 |
100 |
72 |
18 |
10 |
1002 |
Hello, Roman Times? About your paper boy, Brutus... |
1.3800 |
0.06784 |
100 |
73 |
16 |
11 |
1003 |
It's for me but I can't read it. |
1.3800 |
0.06321 |
100 |
70 |
22 |
8 |
1004 |
I'M CALLING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW YOUR PAPER IS DELIVERED!! |
1.3800 |
0.06479 |
100 |
71 |
20 |
9 |
1005 |
At this moment it's a little difficult to read the fine print. |
1.3800 |
0.05993 |
100 |
68 |
26 |
6 |
1006 |
What letter? |
1.3800 |
0.05993 |
100 |
68 |
26 |
6 |
1007 |
So much for "The Art of the Deal." |
1.3800 |
0.06479 |
100 |
71 |
20 |
9 |
1008 |
All I remember was that he looked like a monk |
1.3800 |
0.06931 |
100 |
74 |
14 |
12 |
1009 |
I got your message and I feel your pain. |
1.3800 |
0.05822 |
100 |
67 |
28 |
5 |
1010 |
Sorry , I will not be in today, my marriage is going through a reformation. |
1.3800 |
0.05993 |
100 |
68 |
26 |
6 |
1011 |
To add insult to injury, they charged me with carrying a concealed weapon! |
1.3800 |
0.06931 |
100 |
74 |
14 |
12 |
1012 |
I'm sorry I have to cancel our poker game tonight, Charlie, but I just got an urgent note from my wife that forces me to change plans. |
1.3800 |
0.06321 |
100 |
70 |
22 |
8 |
1013 |
Tell the Pope that Luther is at it again |
1.3800 |
0.06633 |
100 |
72 |
18 |
10 |
1014 |
My wife’s to do list is killing me. |
1.3800 |
0.06479 |
100 |
71 |
20 |
9 |
1015 |
Hello, I would like to request a retraction. |
1.3800 |
0.06321 |
100 |
70 |
22 |
8 |
1016 |
I got your note and just want to let you know I feel your pain. |
1.3800 |
0.06321 |
100 |
70 |
22 |
8 |
1017 |
You could say our relationship ended on a bad note. |
1.3800 |
0.06321 |
100 |
70 |
22 |
8 |
1018 |
Sorry, Martin Luther just left. |
1.3800 |
0.06784 |
100 |
73 |
16 |
11 |
1019 |
I think she’s serious about the divorce this time. |
1.3800 |
0.06321 |
100 |
70 |
22 |
8 |
1020 |
I'm sorry sir, but we don't cover backstabbing |
1.3800 |
0.06633 |
100 |
72 |
18 |
10 |
1021 |
Hello,9-1-1? I think I just received a death threat. |
1.3800 |
0.06784 |
100 |
73 |
16 |
11 |
1022 |
The new tax regulations are here. |
1.3800 |
0.06479 |
100 |
71 |
20 |
9 |
1023 |
Hi, I just received my health care plan renewal notice, and I have a few questions. |
1.3800 |
0.06479 |
100 |
71 |
20 |
9 |
1024 |
Yes, I received your Final Demand notice. |
1.3800 |
0.06479 |
100 |
71 |
20 |
9 |
1025 |
Hi Hon. I used two mirrors to read your letter. You seem angry. |
1.3800 |
0.06479 |
100 |
71 |
20 |
9 |
1026 |
Yes, I’ve been served the divorce papers. No, I haven’t had a chance to read them yet. |
1.3800 |
0.06931 |
100 |
74 |
14 |
12 |
1027 |
I get your point...but I'm not happy about it! |
1.3800 |
0.06159 |
100 |
69 |
24 |
7 |
1028 |
I'd like to order a mirror, please. |
1.3800 |
0.06784 |
100 |
73 |
16 |
11 |
1029 |
It says 'Kick me,' more or less. |
1.3800 |
0.06633 |
100 |
72 |
18 |
10 |
1030 |
Yes, she delivered the divorce papers this morning. |
1.3800 |
0.06784 |
100 |
73 |
16 |
11 |
1031 |
He said, "You've been served....oh, and your wife wants the knife back" |
1.3800 |
0.06321 |
100 |
70 |
22 |
8 |
1032 |
The divorce papers came today. |
1.3800 |
0.06321 |
100 |
70 |
22 |
8 |
1033 |
Can I please speak to a Doctor of Letters? |
1.3789 |
0.06723 |
95 |
68 |
18 |
9 |
1034 |
Yes. The divorce papers just arrived. |
1.3786 |
0.05708 |
103 |
69 |
29 |
5 |
1035 |
I liked your manuscript it's spine tingling. |
1.3786 |
0.06188 |
103 |
72 |
23 |
8 |
1036 |
No, dear, I am just saying that's what refrigerator magnets are for. |
1.3786 |
0.06033 |
103 |
71 |
25 |
7 |
1037 |
Yes, I got my wife's list of grievances. |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
1038 |
I'd like to order a bulletin board for my wife. |
1.3786 |
0.06188 |
103 |
72 |
23 |
8 |
1039 |
Emergency ? I have a list of demands attached to my back with a knife . I would like to know what the demands are. |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
1040 |
I get your point. |
1.3786 |
0.05873 |
103 |
70 |
27 |
6 |
1041 |
Brute? Et Tu? |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
1042 |
I’d like to switch to auto-pay. |
1.3786 |
0.06634 |
103 |
75 |
17 |
11 |
1043 |
I found your note. Are you mad at me? |
1.3786 |
0.06033 |
103 |
71 |
25 |
7 |
1044 |
The difference is that Luther nailed his doctrines on a CHURCH DOOR! |
1.3774 |
0.06352 |
106 |
76 |
20 |
10 |
1045 |
No, I haven't read your message |
1.3762 |
0.06426 |
101 |
72 |
20 |
9 |
1046 |
Yeah, I got your message. It's just a little hard to read. |
1.3750 |
0.06139 |
104 |
73 |
23 |
8 |
1047 |
I made some good points, but his presentation was far more compelling. |
1.3750 |
0.05827 |
104 |
71 |
27 |
6 |
1048 |
No, this time I think she's really gone. |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1049 |
If that's your demand letter, I'd hate to see your cease-and-desist. |
1.3737 |
0.06021 |
99 |
68 |
25 |
6 |
1050 |
Hello, Mr. Luther? Did you not see me standing in the doorway? |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1051 |
Can you repost Martin's document as a pdf? |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1052 |
Yes Mother, I received my divorce papers. As a matter-of-fact she was kind enough to deliver them in person. |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1053 |
On second thought, I'd prefer the online edition only. |
1.3737 |
0.06190 |
99 |
69 |
23 |
7 |
1054 |
Hold on, I just got a text. |
1.3737 |
0.06671 |
99 |
72 |
17 |
10 |
1055 |
If I had to guess, I'd say it was a contract killing... |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1056 |
Or, you could just e-mail me |
1.3737 |
0.06190 |
99 |
69 |
23 |
7 |
1057 |
I'm calling to unsubscribe from your newsletter |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1058 |
Tell me it doesn't say 'Kick Me'! |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1059 |
Stabbing me in the back wasn't enough, Stanley? You had to add the notes from the morning meeting? |
1.3737 |
0.06671 |
99 |
72 |
17 |
10 |
1060 |
Yes, baby doll, I marched right in and demanded a divorce. Then, as I marched out, she made an excellent point. |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1061 |
Yeah... I think they're really serious about this eviction notice. |
1.3737 |
0.06190 |
99 |
69 |
23 |
7 |
1062 |
I just feel that the GOP is taking ‘death and taxes’ a bit too literally with this new bill |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1063 |
Honey, you're going to kill me, but I can't find the grocery list again. |
1.3737 |
0.06671 |
99 |
72 |
17 |
10 |
1064 |
I have a feeling she really means it this time! |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1065 |
I think it's time we switched to electronic bill delivery. |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1066 |
I don't think the terms are negotiable. |
1.3737 |
0.06190 |
99 |
69 |
23 |
7 |
1067 |
It isn't a very good severance package. |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1068 |
Yes, I got my performance review today. |
1.3737 |
0.06190 |
99 |
69 |
23 |
7 |
1069 |
Honey...where is that note that said why you are leaving me? |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1070 |
But Mr. Luther, I'm not even Catholic? |
1.3737 |
0.06671 |
99 |
72 |
17 |
10 |
1071 |
Hello, 911? I have a feeling that the mob put a contract out on me. |
1.3737 |
0.06671 |
99 |
72 |
17 |
10 |
1072 |
Who do I talk to about someone posting a hate message? |
1.3737 |
0.06190 |
99 |
69 |
23 |
7 |
1073 |
About your final notice... |
1.3737 |
0.05847 |
99 |
67 |
27 |
5 |
1074 |
Well, no, I didn't read it yet, but something tells me it's bad. |
1.3737 |
0.06671 |
99 |
72 |
17 |
10 |
1075 |
Yeah, I think she's really serious this time. |
1.3737 |
0.06671 |
99 |
72 |
17 |
10 |
1076 |
I need an appointment to review a legal document; today would be great. |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1077 |
I got your divorce papers. |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1078 |
I need to speak to the attorney, my wife just served me papers! |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1079 |
I think she's really serious about the divorce! |
1.3737 |
0.06973 |
99 |
74 |
13 |
12 |
1080 |
Consider me served. |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1081 |
The job started ok but now the paperwork's killing me. |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1082 |
Remember what she said about sticking it to me? |
1.3737 |
0.05847 |
99 |
67 |
27 |
5 |
1083 |
I'd like to register a complaint about your subpoena service. |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1084 |
Let's keep the date. My wife just filed for divorce. |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1085 |
I DO know what you mean, the news is killing me too! |
1.3737 |
0.06514 |
99 |
71 |
19 |
9 |
1086 |
Remember that idea you had for sticky notes? |
1.3737 |
0.05847 |
99 |
67 |
27 |
5 |
1087 |
Mildred, did you see the suicide note I left by the phone this morning? |
1.3737 |
0.06671 |
99 |
72 |
17 |
10 |
1088 |
She doesn't suspect a thing. |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1089 |
I'd like to report a contract killing. |
1.3737 |
0.05847 |
99 |
67 |
27 |
5 |
1090 |
She's hired very assertive divorce lawyers. |
1.3737 |
0.06354 |
99 |
70 |
21 |
8 |
1091 |
It went better than I thought. She brought over the divorce papers to sign, gave me a big old hug and out the door she went. |
1.3737 |
0.06190 |
99 |
69 |
23 |
7 |
1092 |
I think I'm going to agree to counseling. She's made it pointedly clear that we have much to discuss. |
1.3736 |
0.06565 |
91 |
64 |
20 |
7 |
1093 |
Yes, Mrs. Jones, technically Billy did turn in his homework... |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1094 |
Yes, dear, I got the divorce papers...nice touch on the Process Server. |
1.3711 |
0.06606 |
97 |
70 |
18 |
9 |
1095 |
911 - this is a contractual emergency |
1.3711 |
0.06099 |
97 |
67 |
24 |
6 |
1096 |
Yes, I think I got the message. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1097 |
Yes, she just finished the chapter on the Protestant Reformation. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1098 |
Your mother stopped by. |
1.3711 |
0.06442 |
97 |
69 |
20 |
8 |
1099 |
Just tell him I got the message! |
1.3711 |
0.06606 |
97 |
70 |
18 |
9 |
1100 |
Hello, may I speak to Martin Luther? |
1.3711 |
0.06606 |
97 |
70 |
18 |
9 |
1101 |
Her actions speak louder than her words. |
1.3711 |
0.06767 |
97 |
71 |
16 |
10 |
1102 |
No golf today guys, my wife has stuck me with a To Do List. |
1.3711 |
0.06099 |
97 |
67 |
24 |
6 |
1103 |
Not to worry, dear, it's just where you left it. |
1.3711 |
0.05736 |
97 |
65 |
28 |
4 |
1104 |
No. I am sorry you missed her. She just left. |
1.3711 |
0.05546 |
97 |
64 |
30 |
3 |
1105 |
I haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty sure she's claiming irreconcilable differences. |
1.3711 |
0.05920 |
97 |
66 |
26 |
5 |
1106 |
I'm sure my wife left a reminder. I'll look around for it. |
1.3711 |
0.06442 |
97 |
69 |
20 |
8 |
1107 |
Sweetie, it seems you forgot to sign the prenup. |
1.3711 |
0.06442 |
97 |
69 |
20 |
8 |
1108 |
Honey. It's me. I can't seem to find your to-do list anywhere. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1109 |
I thought the next step after Mediation was Arbitration. |
1.3711 |
0.06442 |
97 |
69 |
20 |
8 |
1110 |
Well yes, she did really drive the point home. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1111 |
Hello-Cheryl? Yeah, I think my wife knows about us. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1112 |
I am not insensitive. |
1.3711 |
0.06767 |
97 |
71 |
16 |
10 |
1113 |
I get that you are upset with me. But this is not how we communicate in the digital age. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1114 |
I can't read it, but I don't think it's good. |
1.3711 |
0.05736 |
97 |
65 |
28 |
4 |
1115 |
Tell them I'm ready to settle |
1.3711 |
0.06606 |
97 |
70 |
18 |
9 |
1116 |
No, I have not been able to read the note yet ... |
1.3711 |
0.06924 |
97 |
72 |
14 |
11 |
1117 |
Hi, she wouldn't sign the prenup. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1118 |
Stop being a grammar Nazi, I know what “literally” means. |
1.3711 |
0.06442 |
97 |
69 |
20 |
8 |
1119 |
Let’s just say she didn’t sign the NDA, Mr Weinstein |
1.3711 |
0.06924 |
97 |
72 |
14 |
11 |
1120 |
I need you to come over read read something to me. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1121 |
I get your point. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1122 |
I'm starting to think she's serious about getting that divorce. |
1.3711 |
0.06442 |
97 |
69 |
20 |
8 |
1123 |
Yeah, I need an appointment with Dr. Wallace. I've got a suspicious subpoena on my back I want him to take a look at. |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1124 |
Okay, but that's not what people usually mean when they say "I'm gonna stick it to you!" |
1.3711 |
0.06767 |
97 |
71 |
16 |
10 |
1125 |
I’m calling about the ‘offer I can’t refuse’... |
1.3711 |
0.06273 |
97 |
68 |
22 |
7 |
1126 |
I'm just trying to put the whole thing behind me. |
1.3711 |
0.06442 |
97 |
69 |
20 |
8 |
1127 |
So I presented the prenup you suggested... |
1.3711 |
0.06099 |
97 |
67 |
24 |
6 |
1128 |
I have been looking dear- I can't find it anywhere! |
1.3711 |
0.06606 |
97 |
70 |
18 |
9 |
1129 |
I'll try to make sense of the thing, but it's going to be a reach. |
1.3711 |
0.06099 |
97 |
67 |
24 |
6 |
1130 |
No, I haven't read the note. Were you listening when I talked about the knife? |
1.3700 |
0.07199 |
100 |
77 |
9 |
14 |
1131 |
This metaphor is killing me. |
1.3700 |
0.06301 |
100 |
71 |
21 |
8 |
1132 |
I agree in principle, but there is still one sticking point. |
1.3684 |
0.06702 |
95 |
69 |
17 |
9 |
1133 |
Bad news....The IRS stuck me with back taxes again. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1134 |
I've had a hunch that my days as a powerful, white male were numbered, but now I'm quite certain. |
1.3684 |
0.05996 |
95 |
65 |
25 |
5 |
1135 |
Hello, 911, my wife is missing. She left me a note, but I can't read it. |
1.3684 |
0.05610 |
95 |
63 |
29 |
3 |
1136 |
You make a good point. |
1.3684 |
0.06532 |
95 |
68 |
19 |
8 |
1137 |
"What note"? |
1.3684 |
0.06702 |
95 |
69 |
17 |
9 |
1138 |
Yes. I did get the divorce papers from your lawyer. |
1.3684 |
0.06180 |
95 |
66 |
23 |
6 |
1139 |
The IRS have changed their notification methods. |
1.3684 |
0.06702 |
95 |
69 |
17 |
9 |
1140 |
yes dear, I think I got the point |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1141 |
She hired a Lutheran lawyer. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1142 |
Is it valid service of process if they left it where I can't see it? |
1.3684 |
0.06532 |
95 |
68 |
19 |
8 |
1143 |
"OK, you've convinced me to go with paperless bills.". |
1.3684 |
0.06532 |
95 |
68 |
19 |
8 |
1144 |
You could have done this via voicemail... |
1.3684 |
0.06532 |
95 |
68 |
19 |
8 |
1145 |
"if this is what you meant when you said 'you'll have my back' it's time to end our relationship |
1.3684 |
0.06180 |
95 |
66 |
23 |
6 |
1146 |
Late payments department? I’d like to set up online billing, please. |
1.3684 |
0.06532 |
95 |
68 |
19 |
8 |
1147 |
By the way, World of Cutlery has responded to our letter of complaint. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1148 |
Yes, Mom, I suppose it is poetic. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1149 |
I’m trying not to take my performance review personally. |
1.3684 |
0.06180 |
95 |
66 |
23 |
6 |
1150 |
Hi Honey. Do you remember what you did with that pre-nup I asked you to sign? |
1.3684 |
0.06532 |
95 |
68 |
19 |
8 |
1151 |
I think you know the point of this call. |
1.3684 |
0.05806 |
95 |
64 |
27 |
4 |
1152 |
This one appears to be enforceable. |
1.3684 |
0.06180 |
95 |
66 |
23 |
6 |
1153 |
I have this bad feeling that my manuscript was rejected. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1154 |
Just tell the doctor that I need to know how to delete a message. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1155 |
I'd like to report a delivery problem. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1156 |
There's one point in the contract I wasn't too crazy about. |
1.3684 |
0.06180 |
95 |
66 |
23 |
6 |
1157 |
Yes, I’m aware it’s March 15th. |
1.3684 |
0.05996 |
95 |
65 |
25 |
5 |
1158 |
I think that I must have said "Fake News" too many times. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1159 |
Mark, if you wanted me to read your new screenplay, you could have just asked. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1160 |
He said it was too important to put into an e-mail. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1161 |
About that comment you made yesterday that "You had my back"... |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1162 |
Please tell Mr. Luther I received his 95 complaints. |
1.3684 |
0.06867 |
95 |
70 |
15 |
10 |
1163 |
"You certainly made your point!!! |
1.3684 |
0.06532 |
95 |
68 |
19 |
8 |
1164 |
I found your note. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1165 |
Yes, a sharp pain just below the payment due amount. |
1.3684 |
0.06180 |
95 |
66 |
23 |
6 |
1166 |
Barbara, it's one thing to stab me in the back, but lying about leaving me a letter takes the cake. |
1.3684 |
0.06532 |
95 |
68 |
19 |
8 |
1167 |
No mom, she means it this time. She stuck me with divorce papers. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1168 |
And you say I can't remove it without paying early termination fees? |
1.3684 |
0.06867 |
95 |
70 |
15 |
10 |
1169 |
No mom, it's not my imagine. There's no doubt in my mind Claire wants a divorce. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1170 |
Honey, I've been served. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1171 |
But everyone defaults on student loans |
1.3684 |
0.06532 |
95 |
68 |
19 |
8 |
1172 |
Your lawyer just visited and served the divorce papers |
1.3684 |
0.07028 |
95 |
71 |
13 |
11 |
1173 |
She said the document was attached, but I don't see it. |
1.3684 |
0.07185 |
95 |
72 |
11 |
12 |
1174 |
I'm sorry Mr. President, but I don't think as the FBI Director I should be expected to sign your loyalty pledge. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1175 |
No, I didn't read "Terms and Conditions" before clicking "I agree." |
1.3684 |
0.06867 |
95 |
70 |
15 |
10 |
1176 |
It all started with simple 'kick me' signs taped to my back. |
1.3684 |
0.06180 |
95 |
66 |
23 |
6 |
1177 |
Yes Doris I was served with the divorce papers papers. |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1178 |
I think I get your point. |
1.3684 |
0.05610 |
95 |
63 |
29 |
3 |
1179 |
So is that a hard 'No' to getting back together? |
1.3684 |
0.06359 |
95 |
67 |
21 |
7 |
1180 |
Dying. What are you doing? |
1.3673 |
0.06387 |
98 |
70 |
20 |
8 |
1181 |
What if you don't actually touch the subpoena? |
1.3673 |
0.06549 |
98 |
71 |
18 |
9 |
1182 |
His message has a point. |
1.3673 |
0.06220 |
98 |
69 |
22 |
7 |
1183 |
Well, the divorce is final. |
1.3673 |
0.06387 |
98 |
70 |
20 |
8 |
1184 |
Yes, I did receive your previous message. |
1.3673 |
0.06220 |
98 |
69 |
22 |
7 |
1185 |
Eventually I did get her to sign the divorce papers. |
1.3673 |
0.06048 |
98 |
68 |
24 |
6 |
1186 |
911? I’d like report a Russian ad trying to influence my vote. |
1.3673 |
0.06220 |
98 |
69 |
22 |
7 |
1187 |
Hello, Circulation ? I'd like to increase my annual Christmas tip to my carrier. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1188 |
Yes officer, the University of Wittenberg’s chapel door. |
1.3656 |
0.06970 |
93 |
69 |
14 |
10 |
1189 |
That’s when I realized she was giving me a back message and not a back massage. |
1.3656 |
0.06074 |
93 |
64 |
24 |
5 |
1190 |
My ex did say she'd stick it to me. |
1.3656 |
0.05879 |
93 |
63 |
26 |
4 |
1191 |
No, it's not my lower back. |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1192 |
I avoided getting served as long as I could. |
1.3656 |
0.05879 |
93 |
63 |
26 |
4 |
1193 |
Yes, dear, I got your message. |
1.3656 |
0.06264 |
93 |
65 |
22 |
6 |
1194 |
O.K., I'll read it. Love you too. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1195 |
Yes, I have been served the divorce papers. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1196 |
Yes, she left one -- but I can't quite read it now. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1197 |
I'm fine, it's just a papercut. |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1198 |
No, I really think this is their best and final offer. |
1.3656 |
0.06801 |
93 |
68 |
16 |
9 |
1199 |
Room Service? Can you send up a physician, and maybe a coroner? |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1200 |
My "don't kill the messenger" line didn't really go over like I thought it would. |
1.3656 |
0.05467 |
93 |
61 |
30 |
2 |
1201 |
no, I havent had a chance to read the contract |
1.3656 |
0.05879 |
93 |
63 |
26 |
4 |
1202 |
Yes, I am aware of your customer service contract. I just found it hard to read. |
1.3656 |
0.06074 |
93 |
64 |
24 |
5 |
1203 |
I'll get back to you. These Lutherans really mean business. |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1204 |
Tell my attorney I believe that I may have just been served with the divorce papers. |
1.3656 |
0.06264 |
93 |
65 |
22 |
6 |
1205 |
No, I mean it literally. The divorce feels like a stab in the back. |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1206 |
She really stuck it to me this time. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1207 |
Yes, it's true, I did ask that you shouldn't leave my newspaper on the floor anymore . |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1208 |
A simple "overdue" notice would have sufficed! |
1.3656 |
0.05879 |
93 |
63 |
26 |
4 |
1209 |
The printer is acting up again. |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1210 |
Her remarks were rather pointed. |
1.3656 |
0.05879 |
93 |
63 |
26 |
4 |
1211 |
Yes, I had lunch with my editor. |
1.3656 |
0.06801 |
93 |
68 |
16 |
9 |
1212 |
I thought you said the writing was on the wall? |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1213 |
The GOOD NEWS is that they left a list of demands, and I have it with me....... |
1.3656 |
0.06801 |
93 |
68 |
16 |
9 |
1214 |
I'm ready to sign the divorce papers. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1215 |
My wife finally signed the divorce papers! |
1.3656 |
0.07136 |
93 |
70 |
12 |
11 |
1216 |
I need to talk to my attorney. My wife personally served the divorce papers. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1217 |
Yes, my submission received another violent rejection... |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1218 |
Mrs. Luther? I need to talk to you about your son. |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1219 |
She really stabbed me in the back with these divorce papers. |
1.3656 |
0.06074 |
93 |
64 |
24 |
5 |
1220 |
A string around a finger would have sufficed. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1221 |
You have been processing my claim for six months and my acupuncturist is demanding immediate payment. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1222 |
They smiled in my face -- so I assume it says they want to take my place. |
1.3656 |
0.06970 |
93 |
69 |
14 |
10 |
1223 |
For starters, can a party to a divorce serve the petition herself? |
1.3656 |
0.06074 |
93 |
64 |
24 |
5 |
1224 |
It was a very odd exit interview. |
1.3656 |
0.05879 |
93 |
63 |
26 |
4 |
1225 |
Let's just say that her divorce lawyer really stabbed me in the back. |
1.3656 |
0.06970 |
93 |
69 |
14 |
10 |
1226 |
I showed her the prenup. She said she’d think about it. |
1.3656 |
0.06264 |
93 |
65 |
22 |
6 |
1227 |
I'm calling to make an appointment for a chiropractic adjustment. I have a stabbing pain between my shoulder blades that you wouldn't believe. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1228 |
I get the point, Helen. |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1229 |
No, Dear, I can't find it anywhere. |
1.3656 |
0.06074 |
93 |
64 |
24 |
5 |
1230 |
It appears I've been mistaken for a church door. |
1.3656 |
0.06627 |
93 |
67 |
18 |
8 |
1231 |
Ransom note? What ransom note? |
1.3656 |
0.06074 |
93 |
64 |
24 |
5 |
1232 |
You were right, Mother. I shouldn't have shown her the will. |
1.3656 |
0.06074 |
93 |
64 |
24 |
5 |
1233 |
Actually, my wife just delivered her divorce filing papers in person. |
1.3656 |
0.06970 |
93 |
69 |
14 |
10 |
1234 |
my wife said she left the divorce papers somewhere in the back, but I don't know exactly where. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1235 |
No, I haven't read it yet. |
1.3656 |
0.06448 |
93 |
66 |
20 |
7 |
1236 |
I've reconsidered my options. Please restore standard voicemail immediately. |
1.3646 |
0.06806 |
96 |
71 |
15 |
10 |
1237 |
Sorry boss, I can't come to work today. I've got a stabbing pain in my back and I can't find my files. |
1.3646 |
0.06475 |
96 |
69 |
19 |
8 |
1238 |
Yes, Condé Nast subscriptions? I did indeed enjoy the New Yorker trial subscription, but for the third time, I would like to cancel. |
1.3646 |
0.06965 |
96 |
72 |
13 |
11 |
1239 |
No, this time I think she really means it. |
1.3646 |
0.06304 |
96 |
68 |
21 |
7 |
1240 |
Yes Martin... I got your message. |
1.3646 |
0.06475 |
96 |
69 |
19 |
8 |
1241 |
I just got the terms of our divorce. |
1.3646 |
0.06475 |
96 |
69 |
19 |
8 |
1242 |
I just got served with the divorce papers. |
1.3646 |
0.06127 |
96 |
67 |
23 |
6 |
1243 |
No, I haven't seen the divorce papers yet. |
1.3626 |
0.07249 |
91 |
69 |
11 |
11 |
1244 |
Come home quickly. I need you to read something to me. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1245 |
And then her lawyer has the nerve to demand her knife back! |
1.3626 |
0.07078 |
91 |
68 |
13 |
10 |
1246 |
Let's try texting next time. |
1.3626 |
0.06540 |
91 |
65 |
19 |
7 |
1247 |
I think it's a "Dear John" letter. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1248 |
No, I haven't seen her. But she did leave a "honey do" list. |
1.3626 |
0.06540 |
91 |
65 |
19 |
7 |
1249 |
Sweetie, where did you put my honey-do list? |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1250 |
Martin Luther called, he left a message about some changes he was enthusiastic about. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1251 |
Apple has gotten serious with the user agreement for the new iPhone. |
1.3626 |
0.05745 |
91 |
61 |
27 |
3 |
1252 |
No. No note she said I was clueless and left. |
1.3626 |
0.07078 |
91 |
68 |
13 |
10 |
1253 |
Go ahead with the contract, but I have 95 reasons to doubt him. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1254 |
I can’t talk now. My wife and I are having a discussion. |
1.3626 |
0.06540 |
91 |
65 |
19 |
7 |
1255 |
Hi Chuck? I need you to come over and read something for me. |
1.3626 |
0.07078 |
91 |
68 |
13 |
10 |
1256 |
I feel unfairly targeted. |
1.3626 |
0.05954 |
91 |
62 |
25 |
4 |
1257 |
I got my thesis back. It doesn't look good. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1258 |
Yes, I do have a delivery menu on me. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1259 |
Yes, I do take your actions as a stab in the back. |
1.3626 |
0.06156 |
91 |
63 |
23 |
5 |
1260 |
I believe they are asking me to step aside. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1261 |
Sorry Jim, I can’t go to the game. I need to take care of the list of chores that Doris left for me. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1262 |
Yes, she just dropped off the divorce papers. |
1.3626 |
0.06156 |
91 |
63 |
23 |
5 |
1263 |
Well, she signed the prenup. |
1.3626 |
0.07078 |
91 |
68 |
13 |
10 |
1264 |
Yes dear you did make your point. |
1.3626 |
0.06724 |
91 |
66 |
17 |
8 |
1265 |
Yes, I rejected his manuscript, but now I am stuck with it. |
1.3626 |
0.06540 |
91 |
65 |
19 |
7 |
1266 |
Yes, I got the memo. What does it say? |
1.3626 |
0.06724 |
91 |
66 |
17 |
8 |
1267 |
I can't read it. You took the hand mirror too. |
1.3626 |
0.06540 |
91 |
65 |
19 |
7 |
1268 |
She said it was time to ‘stick it to the man’ |
1.3626 |
0.05745 |
91 |
61 |
27 |
3 |
1269 |
Yes, she gave me the note but I haven't read it yet. |
1.3626 |
0.06724 |
91 |
66 |
17 |
8 |
1270 |
Note? What note? |
1.3626 |
0.06724 |
91 |
66 |
17 |
8 |
1271 |
911 ? I NEED HELP TO READ A NOTE MY WIFE LEFT ME ! |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1272 |
Hello, Lucille. I would sign the divorce papers if I could find them. |
1.3626 |
0.07078 |
91 |
68 |
13 |
10 |
1273 |
You win. He's a back-stabber, alright. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1274 |
Thank you for calling, but I already got the message. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1275 |
No, I haven't had a chance to read it yet. |
1.3626 |
0.06540 |
91 |
65 |
19 |
7 |
1276 |
It was more the way I was served. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1277 |
Yes mother, l think the divorce is final. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1278 |
I got your note. |
1.3626 |
0.06156 |
91 |
63 |
23 |
5 |
1279 |
A text would have been less painful. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1280 |
I tried serving her the papers but she didn't take it well. |
1.3626 |
0.06540 |
91 |
65 |
19 |
7 |
1281 |
She left a note. |
1.3626 |
0.06724 |
91 |
66 |
17 |
8 |
1282 |
I’m sorry, but I can’t seem to find the divorce papers you served me. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1283 |
Other than that, no complaints, yourself? |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1284 |
No, her lawyer delivered it in person. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1285 |
Of course I'm sure no one is getting backstabbed. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1286 |
I need to ask my lawyer what constitutes being legally served. |
1.3626 |
0.06156 |
91 |
63 |
23 |
5 |
1287 |
Well, no. I actually haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty sure it's very hostile. |
1.3626 |
0.06156 |
91 |
63 |
23 |
5 |
1288 |
Message received, Mr. President. |
1.3626 |
0.06724 |
91 |
66 |
17 |
8 |
1289 |
I'd like to order a cork board and some push pins, please. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1290 |
I agreed to take a stab at the new healthcare bill, and it just went downhill from there |
1.3626 |
0.06540 |
91 |
65 |
19 |
7 |
1291 |
Can we take another stab at the prenup tomorrow? |
1.3626 |
0.05745 |
91 |
61 |
27 |
3 |
1292 |
I can't bring myself to read her divorce complaint--it hurts too much |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1293 |
In the future, Mr. Luther, if you have any complaints, please post them on my office door |
1.3626 |
0.06724 |
91 |
66 |
17 |
8 |
1294 |
Yes, dear, I did receive the divorce papers. |
1.3626 |
0.06156 |
91 |
63 |
23 |
5 |
1295 |
Yes, I got the reminder! |
1.3626 |
0.06156 |
91 |
63 |
23 |
5 |
1296 |
Yes, I got your message. |
1.3626 |
0.06904 |
91 |
67 |
15 |
9 |
1297 |
Yes, I know this is 911. I’m telling you, she literally stuck me with divorce papers. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1298 |
Yes, the divorce papers have been served. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1299 |
OK, so you did not like my suggestion eh? |
1.3626 |
0.05954 |
91 |
62 |
25 |
4 |
1300 |
I think I get your point. |
1.3626 |
0.06351 |
91 |
64 |
21 |
6 |
1301 |
Mom, I think Tina has left me. |
1.3626 |
0.06156 |
91 |
63 |
23 |
5 |
1302 |
Can you explain, to the employees, what we mean by pinning their response to the bulletin board. |
1.3626 |
0.06540 |
91 |
65 |
19 |
7 |
1303 |
Be careful-- the small print will kill you. |
1.3626 |
0.06156 |
91 |
63 |
23 |
5 |
1304 |
Soooo...got your message... |
1.3617 |
0.06022 |
94 |
65 |
24 |
5 |
1305 |
So I take it that you’re not open to negotiate? |
1.3617 |
0.06567 |
94 |
68 |
18 |
8 |
1306 |
Yes Amanda, I have been approached by your legal team. |
1.3617 |
0.06391 |
94 |
67 |
20 |
7 |
1307 |
Yes, she was here. She served the papers herself. |
1.3617 |
0.06739 |
94 |
69 |
16 |
9 |
1308 |
My "To Do List" is killing me. |
1.3617 |
0.06022 |
94 |
65 |
24 |
5 |
1309 |
I got stuck with my own to do list |
1.3617 |
0.06209 |
94 |
66 |
22 |
6 |
1310 |
I got my thesis back. It doesn't look good. |
1.3587 |
0.06481 |
92 |
66 |
19 |
7 |
1311 |
If I switch to the unlimited plan is the contract affixed with a smaller knife? |
1.3587 |
0.06481 |
92 |
66 |
19 |
7 |
1312 |
Darling, next time leave it on the fridge, I will remember. |
1.3587 |
0.06294 |
92 |
65 |
21 |
6 |
1313 |
You know, I kind of felt like your letter was a complete stab in the back. |
1.3587 |
0.06839 |
92 |
68 |
15 |
9 |
1314 |
My lawyer has my back, unfortunately my ex wife does too. |
1.3587 |
0.06101 |
92 |
64 |
23 |
5 |
1315 |
Where did you put the divorce papers? |
1.3587 |
0.06481 |
92 |
66 |
19 |
7 |
1316 |
I think it's from her lawyer |
1.3587 |
0.06101 |
92 |
64 |
23 |
5 |
1317 |
No, my shirt does not say ‘Post No Bills’ on it. |
1.3587 |
0.06101 |
92 |
64 |
23 |
5 |
1318 |
Paper cuts are the worst |
1.3587 |
0.06663 |
92 |
67 |
17 |
8 |
1319 |
I need a doctor, a lawyer, and a talent agent. |
1.3587 |
0.06481 |
92 |
66 |
19 |
7 |
1320 |
Brutus, from billing ? |
1.3587 |
0.06481 |
92 |
66 |
19 |
7 |
1321 |
Yes, I dotted my "I's", but I'm afraid my "Ts" have been double-crossed. |
1.3587 |
0.06481 |
92 |
66 |
19 |
7 |
1322 |
It seems that I should have gone with my gut and emailed her a PDF of the divorce papers. |
1.3580 |
0.07309 |
81 |
60 |
13 |
8 |
1323 |
I'm calling to complain about your bill collection practices? |
1.3580 |
0.07095 |
81 |
59 |
15 |
7 |
1324 |
No. . . but I think it was a Lutheran! |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1325 |
I'll concede that she made a very effective point with her article. |
1.3556 |
0.05544 |
90 |
60 |
28 |
2 |
1326 |
I know you think they are 95 good reasons, Martin, but it was still extremely inappropriate. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1327 |
So I asked her to give me one example. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1328 |
I can't put my finger on it but I think I'm forgetting something. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1329 |
She took backstabbing to another level |
1.3556 |
0.06762 |
90 |
66 |
16 |
8 |
1330 |
It looks like end of the third marriage. I'm handling it well, but I sense there might be an issue regarding the pre-nup. |
1.3556 |
0.05978 |
90 |
62 |
24 |
4 |
1331 |
9-1-1? I'd like to report a manifesto. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1332 |
What's my emergency? Well, someone is either trying to kill me or convert me. |
1.3556 |
0.06944 |
90 |
67 |
14 |
9 |
1333 |
Yeah, well apparently they do know if you accept the User Agreement without reading it. |
1.3556 |
0.05544 |
90 |
60 |
28 |
2 |
1334 |
Yes, she did leave a note. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1335 |
I’ve got this nagging feeling that my wife’s asking for a divorce |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1336 |
Mr. Speaker, perhaps you should have been more specific when you said this tax bill would 'have my back.' |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1337 |
I asked her to take a stab at reading it. |
1.3556 |
0.06183 |
90 |
63 |
22 |
5 |
1338 |
yes, she left a note. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1339 |
I feel like whatever's in the fine print is going to kill me. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1340 |
It's a stabbing pain Harry, and it gets worse when I lie down. Think I should see a doctor? |
1.3556 |
0.06762 |
90 |
66 |
16 |
8 |
1341 |
I can't really read it, but I'm guessing the medium is the message. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1342 |
Hey, Bob. Yeah, I got the divorce papers but it doesn't look like it will be amicable. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1343 |
My wife personally served me divorce papers this morning. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1344 |
Hello, I’d like to make a complaint against the guy who served this subpoena... |
1.3556 |
0.07121 |
90 |
68 |
12 |
10 |
1345 |
You can tell my wife's lawyer I've decided to settle" |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1346 |
Honestly, I don't think they'll be open to renegotiation. |
1.3556 |
0.06183 |
90 |
63 |
22 |
5 |
1347 |
...so you're telling me this isn't covered by my insurance? |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1348 |
Yes I can assure you - this is definitely their final offer. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1349 |
I'd like to report an unorthodox eviction notice. |
1.3556 |
0.06762 |
90 |
66 |
16 |
8 |
1350 |
Actually, the pain of reading it is far worse, |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1351 |
I.m calling to complain about my newspaper delivery service. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1352 |
Actually, what hurts most is she could have told me to my face. |
1.3556 |
0.06762 |
90 |
66 |
16 |
8 |
1353 |
I'm telling you my wife left me and stuck me with all the bills! |
1.3556 |
0.05765 |
90 |
61 |
26 |
3 |
1354 |
May I call you back? I got something pressing to read. |
1.3556 |
0.06762 |
90 |
66 |
16 |
8 |
1355 |
I just got served. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1356 |
What note? I haven't seen your blloody note! |
1.3556 |
0.05978 |
90 |
62 |
24 |
4 |
1357 |
I just have a feeling that she means it this time. |
1.3556 |
0.06762 |
90 |
66 |
16 |
8 |
1358 |
yes, I got your "honey-do" list. |
1.3556 |
0.06762 |
90 |
66 |
16 |
8 |
1359 |
That’s not what I meant when I said I wanted to put the divorce behind me. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1360 |
Can you use refrigerator magnets next time you leave me a "honey do" list dear? |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1361 |
Hello 911; I think my wife just left me. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1362 |
She's not home right now, but she left a detailed note. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1363 |
Congress just delivered our new tax plan. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1364 |
She STRONGLY rejected the offer. |
1.3556 |
0.07121 |
90 |
68 |
12 |
10 |
1365 |
The news hurt more than usual this morning. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1366 |
No, Doctor, I don't mind that he thinks he's Martin Luther. What I mind is that he thinks I'm the Wittenberg Castle! |
1.3556 |
0.06762 |
90 |
66 |
16 |
8 |
1367 |
As a matter of fact, she gave me 95 reasons she's leaving. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1368 |
Is everything all right? You seemed a little upset this morning. |
1.3556 |
0.05978 |
90 |
62 |
24 |
4 |
1369 |
I think she signed the divorce papers, but I'm not 100% positive. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1370 |
He should just say it to my face. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1371 |
Hello, Sol...., I don't think she's gonna go for the pre-nup. |
1.3556 |
0.05978 |
90 |
62 |
24 |
4 |
1372 |
Hi. Remember how I always say, "The pen is mightier than the sword!"? Funny thing... |
1.3556 |
0.06183 |
90 |
63 |
22 |
5 |
1373 |
Is that you, Brutus? |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1374 |
It's me. Yeah, so the homeowner's association is apparently serious. |
1.3556 |
0.06944 |
90 |
67 |
14 |
9 |
1375 |
I didn't see it coming. |
1.3556 |
0.05978 |
90 |
62 |
24 |
4 |
1376 |
I don't think she's gonna sign the prenup. |
1.3556 |
0.06183 |
90 |
63 |
22 |
5 |
1377 |
The divorce decree arrived. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1378 |
Just to let you know, I do have an email account. |
1.3556 |
0.06382 |
90 |
64 |
20 |
6 |
1379 |
This is non-binding, right? |
1.3556 |
0.06183 |
90 |
63 |
22 |
5 |
1380 |
Game of Thrones rejected my manuscript. |
1.3556 |
0.06574 |
90 |
65 |
18 |
7 |
1381 |
I've decided to agree to your terms after all. |
1.3556 |
0.06183 |
90 |
63 |
22 |
5 |
1382 |
911? My wife's just nailed me with her grievances. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1383 |
Unfortunately, the mediator is dead - I think we should settle. |
1.3523 |
0.07414 |
88 |
68 |
9 |
11 |
1384 |
I think I've been served. |
1.3523 |
0.06056 |
88 |
61 |
23 |
4 |
1385 |
There are some issues with the prenup. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1386 |
The divorce is final. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1387 |
I dare you to come and say that to my face! |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1388 |
Yeah, I got your note. Very funny. |
1.3523 |
0.06865 |
88 |
65 |
15 |
8 |
1389 |
I'm being held hostage. Yes, they have a list of demands. And yes, I think they're serious. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1390 |
Yes Ethel I have received the divorce papers. |
1.3523 |
0.07053 |
88 |
66 |
13 |
9 |
1391 |
I believe you've been trying to reach me about my late payment. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1392 |
I'd like to report a reformation. |
1.3523 |
0.07414 |
88 |
68 |
9 |
11 |
1393 |
That's not what I meant when I said you should have my back. |
1.3523 |
0.06268 |
88 |
62 |
21 |
5 |
1394 |
Can I call you back, mother? We're just reviewing the prenuptial agreement. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1395 |
You were right. I shouldn't have brought the Constitution to a knife fight. |
1.3523 |
0.06865 |
88 |
65 |
15 |
8 |
1396 |
Honey, where did you say you put the to-do list? |
1.3523 |
0.07053 |
88 |
66 |
13 |
9 |
1397 |
I'll call you back. My wife just gave me an ultimatum. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1398 |
What do you mean, I don't notice you? |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1399 |
Karen, just confirming receipt of your Dear John letter. |
1.3523 |
0.06865 |
88 |
65 |
15 |
8 |
1400 |
Can't come over today, i've been stuck with the to do list |
1.3523 |
0.06865 |
88 |
65 |
15 |
8 |
1401 |
All right, two weeks from Friday at 2:00 pm. And while I'm there, I'd like to get a flu shot too. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1402 |
Apparently, we don't qualify for long term health care. |
1.3523 |
0.06268 |
88 |
62 |
21 |
5 |
1403 |
Honey, the truce with the paperboy is off. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1404 |
Margaret, I can't find our Pre-Nup. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1405 |
I don't know, Doc. All she said was that Post-its weren't working. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1406 |
Our landlord just delivered the new lease agreement. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1407 |
I didn't realize you had left. Did you leave a note? |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1408 |
Yes Brutus, I got your letter. |
1.3523 |
0.06268 |
88 |
62 |
21 |
5 |
1409 |
She's not happy I've filed for divorce but at least she's communicating. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1410 |
Yes the lawyer did make a point of coming by as a matter of fact. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1411 |
I really enjoyed out murder mystery date last night |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1412 |
She wants the china, but I can keep the cutlery. |
1.3523 |
0.06056 |
88 |
61 |
23 |
4 |
1413 |
Apparently she has 95 complaints |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1414 |
She has some problems with the pre-nup. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1415 |
My wife found the love letter you sent me. |
1.3523 |
0.07053 |
88 |
66 |
13 |
9 |
1416 |
I still owe the paper boy money |
1.3523 |
0.06865 |
88 |
65 |
15 |
8 |
1417 |
My shirt specifically says, "Post No Bills." |
1.3523 |
0.06865 |
88 |
65 |
15 |
8 |
1418 |
You put it where? |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1419 |
He said his name was Luther. Martin Luther. |
1.3523 |
0.07235 |
88 |
67 |
11 |
10 |
1420 |
This time I think she might really mean it. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1421 |
I'm going to be late this morning .... my wife just served me divorce papers. |
1.3523 |
0.06865 |
88 |
65 |
15 |
8 |
1422 |
Yes, she just delivered the divorce papers. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1423 |
It was pointed criticism, but I can't grasp the specifics. |
1.3523 |
0.06268 |
88 |
62 |
21 |
5 |
1424 |
Yes, it’s an emergency! Please send an ambulance and an editor. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1425 |
I’m getting the feeling that she’s not interested in a no-fault divorce. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1426 |
I'm positive I ordered a SINGING telegram. |
1.3523 |
0.06865 |
88 |
65 |
15 |
8 |
1427 |
Hi dear, it's me. Tell me again what I was supposed to do today. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1428 |
He didn't give a last name. Said his first name was Martin. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1429 |
Yes, she did leave a note for you and said you'd know where to find it. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1430 |
She's adamant. She won't sign the prenup. |
1.3523 |
0.06865 |
88 |
65 |
15 |
8 |
1431 |
The job made me an offer I just can't refuse |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1432 |
No Mother, the wedding is definitely off. I've received a lengthy Dear John letter and frankly it cuts like a knife. |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1433 |
This is just another example of you going behind my back. |
1.3523 |
0.06268 |
88 |
62 |
21 |
5 |
1434 |
Hello Daily Bugler, is it too late to get an obit in tomorrow's paper? |
1.3523 |
0.06473 |
88 |
63 |
19 |
6 |
1435 |
Yes, I can describe him. It was a monk with a German accent. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1436 |
You can tell your divorce attorney I get the point. |
1.3523 |
0.06672 |
88 |
64 |
17 |
7 |
1437 |
Yes Karen, I received the divorce papers by 'special delivery'... |
1.3500 |
0.07138 |
80 |
59 |
14 |
7 |
1438 |
I don't think we'll be sending little Martin to Catholic school. |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1439 |
Edna left me again, and I think she means it this time. |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1440 |
No, this time I think she's really serious about the divorce. |
1.3488 |
0.07166 |
86 |
65 |
12 |
9 |
1441 |
Hang on, I know she put it somewhere |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1442 |
Hang on, I think she just finished the grocery list. |
1.3488 |
0.06773 |
86 |
63 |
16 |
7 |
1443 |
You put it where? |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1444 |
No, it's 13 across, 6 letters. "Bodkin or Dagger". I'm stuck. |
1.3488 |
0.06972 |
86 |
64 |
14 |
8 |
1445 |
I just got your lawyer's outline of a suggested property settlement. |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1446 |
No, I do not have time to take a survey. |
1.3488 |
0.07166 |
86 |
65 |
12 |
9 |
1447 |
...yeah, but if I don’t take it out of my back, then I haven’t officially been served. |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1448 |
I don't think my wife is willing to sign the divorce papers you served... Any paperless suggestions? |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1449 |
About 9, on a scale of 0 to 10. |
1.3488 |
0.06773 |
86 |
63 |
16 |
7 |
1450 |
I think I just received a hate letter. |
1.3488 |
0.06972 |
86 |
64 |
14 |
8 |
1451 |
She found a sticking point in the divorce settlement. |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1452 |
The contract wasn't quite as iron-clad as we thought. |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1453 |
Honey, where did you leave that to-do list you're always nagging about? |
1.3488 |
0.06972 |
86 |
64 |
14 |
8 |
1454 |
A simple post-it note would have sufficed. |
1.3488 |
0.06137 |
86 |
60 |
22 |
4 |
1455 |
I feel compelled to mention a few sticking points. |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1456 |
Yes, the papers were served—but I must say “blunt” is the wrong adjective to describe their delivery. |
1.3488 |
0.05910 |
86 |
59 |
24 |
3 |
1457 |
My order was actually for a back *scratcher* |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1458 |
Then I said, "You forged that knife, why not my signature?" |
1.3488 |
0.07354 |
86 |
66 |
10 |
10 |
1459 |
I'd like to switch to the paperless option for hidden fees. |
1.3488 |
0.06773 |
86 |
63 |
16 |
7 |
1460 |
Florence, if you have something to say to me, just say it to my face! |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1461 |
Yes, dear, I'll be sure to read the article. |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1462 |
I’ve just received a notice about a back payment? |
1.3488 |
0.06773 |
86 |
63 |
16 |
7 |
1463 |
The police are investigating, but I'm almost certain it was Martin Luther. |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1464 |
Divorce Papers Just Came Through, She's Not Happy !! |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1465 |
Hello , Anger Management Center ... |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1466 |
If she left a good-bye note, I haven't seen it. |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1467 |
Hey Bill, What's the name of that divorce attorney you were telling me about? |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1468 |
I think she's maybe considering leaving me, possibly. |
1.3488 |
0.06137 |
86 |
60 |
22 |
4 |
1469 |
Et tu, Con Ed. |
1.3488 |
0.06773 |
86 |
63 |
16 |
7 |
1470 |
No, it isn't just a feeling. I'm sure she wants a divorce. |
1.3488 |
0.06773 |
86 |
63 |
16 |
7 |
1471 |
She has a few suggestions about my will. |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1472 |
My wife just left me a note. I think we'll have to pass on the card game tonight. |
1.3488 |
0.06773 |
86 |
63 |
16 |
7 |
1473 |
Dear, the cook just gave notice. |
1.3488 |
0.07166 |
86 |
65 |
12 |
9 |
1474 |
Yeah, I got the message. |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1475 |
And that's all she wrote. |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1476 |
Hello, Frank? That DYI prenup form may not be quite as helpful as we thought. |
1.3488 |
0.06972 |
86 |
64 |
14 |
8 |
1477 |
Yeah, I got the memo. |
1.3488 |
0.06568 |
86 |
62 |
18 |
6 |
1478 |
I don't think 'amicable' is a possibility anymore. |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1479 |
I'll tell you what the problem is. The problem is I'm not THAT Martin Luther! |
1.3488 |
0.06773 |
86 |
63 |
16 |
7 |
1480 |
How would I know what the note says? |
1.3488 |
0.06972 |
86 |
64 |
14 |
8 |
1481 |
It's not that she served me with divorce papers, it's how she did it that hurts the most. |
1.3488 |
0.06773 |
86 |
63 |
16 |
7 |
1482 |
She delivered the divorce paperwork herself. |
1.3488 |
0.06356 |
86 |
61 |
20 |
5 |
1483 |
I’d like to report a schism. |
1.3488 |
0.06972 |
86 |
64 |
14 |
8 |
1484 |
Can you represent me? I have just been served the divorce papers. Yes, you could say it was a surprise. |
1.3483 |
0.05784 |
89 |
61 |
25 |
3 |
1485 |
Hello, Yes, I'd like to renew my subscription. And also a few more back issues. |
1.3483 |
0.07341 |
89 |
69 |
9 |
11 |
1486 |
Couldn't you have just SIGNED the divorce papers? |
1.3478 |
0.06266 |
92 |
66 |
20 |
6 |
1487 |
My wife would like to make a few 'tweaks' to our divorce agreement. |
1.3457 |
0.06840 |
81 |
59 |
16 |
6 |
1488 |
Well yes doctor, I would describe it as a stabbing pain in the middle of my back. |
1.3457 |
0.06611 |
81 |
58 |
18 |
5 |
1489 |
A simple 'We will not be publishing your manuscript.' would have been sufficient. |
1.3457 |
0.06126 |
81 |
56 |
22 |
3 |
1490 |
Yes, as a matter of fact, I AM a registered voter. |
1.3457 |
0.07278 |
81 |
61 |
12 |
8 |
1491 |
How should I know? I don't have eyes in the back of my head. |
1.3452 |
0.07084 |
84 |
63 |
13 |
8 |
1492 |
I'll be late for work today, my neighbor took the 500th anniversary of the Reformation a bit too literal this morning . . . |
1.3452 |
0.06879 |
84 |
62 |
15 |
7 |
1493 |
Yes, she finally got around to serving me the divorce papers. |
1.3452 |
0.06667 |
84 |
61 |
17 |
6 |
1494 |
Yeah, Bob, she didn't accept my apology. |
1.3452 |
0.06879 |
84 |
62 |
15 |
7 |
1495 |
Yes Mom, i'm pretty sure she is not coming back |
1.3452 |
0.07667 |
84 |
66 |
7 |
11 |
1496 |
She was just here. |
1.3452 |
0.07084 |
84 |
63 |
13 |
8 |
1497 |
But on the bright side, she did reply to my letter. |
1.3452 |
0.06448 |
84 |
60 |
19 |
5 |
1498 |
It has come to my attention that we will be getting the breadsticks after all. |
1.3452 |
0.07284 |
84 |
64 |
11 |
9 |
1499 |
Something tells me she's probably not coming back this time... |
1.3452 |
0.06879 |
84 |
62 |
15 |
7 |
1500 |
So, Helen dropped off the divorce papers... |
1.3452 |
0.06879 |
84 |
62 |
15 |
7 |
1501 |
I got your message, but I haven't had a chance to read it. |
1.3452 |
0.06222 |
84 |
59 |
21 |
4 |
1502 |
... and where would I find this "policy rider"? |
1.3452 |
0.06667 |
84 |
61 |
17 |
6 |
1503 |
They keep saying it's a tax cut for the middle class, I don't know though. |
1.3452 |
0.06448 |
84 |
60 |
19 |
5 |
1504 |
I'd like to report a point too well taken. |
1.3452 |
0.06448 |
84 |
60 |
19 |
5 |
1505 |
"No, I'm pretty sure it won't be amicable". |
1.3452 |
0.06448 |
84 |
60 |
19 |
5 |
1506 |
The termination clause in that contract was brutal. |
1.3452 |
0.06448 |
84 |
60 |
19 |
5 |
1507 |
Washington Post? Thanks for running that article about my affair. |
1.3452 |
0.06667 |
84 |
61 |
17 |
6 |
1508 |
This time I think she's serious about the divorce. |
1.3452 |
0.06879 |
84 |
62 |
15 |
7 |
1509 |
I think we can view this as a hostile takeover. |
1.3452 |
0.06222 |
84 |
59 |
21 |
4 |
1510 |
Let's just say I won't forget the grocery list again. |
1.3452 |
0.06222 |
84 |
59 |
21 |
4 |
1511 |
It seems the figurative implications of my divorce have just become literal. |
1.3452 |
0.05987 |
84 |
58 |
23 |
3 |
1512 |
Hold on a sec. I know I stuck it somewhere. |
1.3452 |
0.06667 |
84 |
61 |
17 |
6 |
1513 |
Speaking as a Lutheran... |
1.3452 |
0.07084 |
84 |
63 |
13 |
8 |
1514 |
I got some feedback on the prenuptial proposal. |
1.3452 |
0.06222 |
84 |
59 |
21 |
4 |
1515 |
Would I prefer a high-speed internet service provider for all my data, e-mail, and messaging needs? You betcha. |
1.3452 |
0.07084 |
84 |
63 |
13 |
8 |
1516 |
It seems they didn't think much of our initial offer. |
1.3452 |
0.06222 |
84 |
59 |
21 |
4 |
1517 |
I've just learned that my wife's divorce attorney is a Lutheran |
1.3452 |
0.07084 |
84 |
63 |
13 |
8 |
1518 |
I believe it's a list of grievances. |
1.3452 |
0.05987 |
84 |
58 |
23 |
3 |
1519 |
I'm not sure, but I think that I AM the message. |
1.3452 |
0.06667 |
84 |
61 |
17 |
6 |
1520 |
I'd like to get a quote on a term life policy. |
1.3452 |
0.06879 |
84 |
62 |
15 |
7 |
1521 |
I don’t have a problem with the contract per se. I have a problem with the backstabbing. |
1.3452 |
0.06222 |
84 |
59 |
21 |
4 |
1522 |
This is what happens when you divorce a Lutheran. |
1.3452 |
0.06879 |
84 |
62 |
15 |
7 |
1523 |
He had a medium frame, spoke fluent German, and was wearing a cassock. |
1.3452 |
0.07084 |
84 |
63 |
13 |
8 |
1524 |
It will have to wait. I've been stuck with a new assignment. |
1.3452 |
0.06667 |
84 |
61 |
17 |
6 |
1525 |
i think she took the pre-nup pretty well. |
1.3452 |
0.06667 |
84 |
61 |
17 |
6 |
1526 |
No, dear, I haven't seen your "to do" list. |
1.3452 |
0.06879 |
84 |
62 |
15 |
7 |
1527 |
I'm pretty sure it's for good this time... |
1.3452 |
0.07084 |
84 |
63 |
13 |
8 |
1528 |
Yes, I know, divorce can be painful; but this is different. |
1.3452 |
0.05987 |
84 |
58 |
23 |
3 |
1529 |
Prenup rejected. . . . |
1.3452 |
0.06448 |
84 |
60 |
19 |
5 |
1530 |
Hello Dear. Now, once again, where did you put those divorce papers? |
1.3452 |
0.06222 |
84 |
59 |
21 |
4 |
1531 |
Hello....I thought I had signed up for e-statements. |
1.3452 |
0.06879 |
84 |
62 |
15 |
7 |
1532 |
She's gone but I still feel the pain. |
1.3441 |
0.06209 |
93 |
67 |
20 |
6 |
1533 |
All she said was, she was sick and tired of my indulgences. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1534 |
Your thank you note was deeply touching and heartfelt. |
1.3415 |
0.07201 |
82 |
62 |
12 |
8 |
1535 |
In retrospect, letting him just issue angry tweets to express his displeasure had its merits. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1536 |
Yes, I am sure she's serious about making the divorce stick this time |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1537 |
Was it really necessary to go behind my back with this? |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1538 |
No, the back-stabbing bitch isn't here. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1539 |
I don’t see your argument, but I get your point. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1540 |
Next time, could you just send a text? |
1.3415 |
0.05547 |
82 |
55 |
26 |
1 |
1541 |
Yeah, I was just served a very pointed set of divorce papers. I’m looking for a lawyer who will have my back on this. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1542 |
Yes, you made your point and I think it finally stuck. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1543 |
Police, I’d like to report a drive by republican. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1544 |
Well, I’ve been through the contract and there’s a major sticking point I’d like removed. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1545 |
I don't see your point. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1546 |
Well, I've looked in all the obvious places, but I can't see it. You sure you left a list? |
1.3415 |
0.07201 |
82 |
62 |
12 |
8 |
1547 |
Doesn't hurt. Fake news. Sad. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1548 |
Looks like my divorce will be messy. |
1.3415 |
0.06066 |
82 |
57 |
22 |
3 |
1549 |
He said something about ninety five thesis. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1550 |
Her response to the suggestion of a pre-nup went as expected. |
1.3415 |
0.07407 |
82 |
63 |
10 |
9 |
1551 |
I would like to cancel my subscription. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1552 |
Can we at least talk through some of your 95 reasons for reforming our marriage? |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1553 |
The tag on this new shirt is killing me. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1554 |
No, I can't really read what it says! |
1.3415 |
0.06066 |
82 |
57 |
22 |
3 |
1555 |
I take it your response is final? |
1.3415 |
0.06066 |
82 |
57 |
22 |
3 |
1556 |
I would like to convert to the digital subscription please. |
1.3415 |
0.06309 |
82 |
58 |
20 |
4 |
1557 |
No, I don't really know why she left - the note is a bit hard to read. |
1.3415 |
0.07201 |
82 |
62 |
12 |
8 |
1558 |
Hang on; my wife’s trying to get my attention. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1559 |
This time I think she means it. |
1.3415 |
0.06066 |
82 |
57 |
22 |
3 |
1560 |
THEY STUCK IT TO ME WITH THE LATE FEES. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1561 |
I literally can't see your reasoning. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1562 |
House Republicans? It's the middle class. Just wanted to let you know I got the tax reform bill. Thanks! |
1.3415 |
0.07803 |
82 |
65 |
6 |
11 |
1563 |
Yes, I recall when you said you had my back. I should have told you to forget it. |
1.3415 |
0.06309 |
82 |
58 |
20 |
4 |
1564 |
I had to kill the messenger. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1565 |
Martha just gave me a list of the things I do that annoy her. |
1.3415 |
0.06309 |
82 |
58 |
20 |
4 |
1566 |
I hear her divorce lawyer is a Lutheran. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1567 |
I have yet to read them but the divorce papers have arrived. |
1.3415 |
0.06309 |
82 |
58 |
20 |
4 |
1568 |
I think you took the expression a bit too literally. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1569 |
I really don't see your point. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1570 |
Yeah, my wife sent over our divorce papers this morning. |
1.3415 |
0.06066 |
82 |
57 |
22 |
3 |
1571 |
Tell my lawyer that I think my wife just served me with papers. |
1.3415 |
0.06309 |
82 |
58 |
20 |
4 |
1572 |
I can't find the divorce papers you left. |
1.3415 |
0.07607 |
82 |
64 |
8 |
10 |
1573 |
As it turned out, the only thing Larry hated more than being stuck on hold was being stuck, on hold. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1574 |
I got your message, but it's hard to see the point. |
1.3415 |
0.06309 |
82 |
58 |
20 |
4 |
1575 |
On a positive note, my sciatica is cured. |
1.3415 |
0.07201 |
82 |
62 |
12 |
8 |
1576 |
Wait...seriously? You can't get me in until next month? |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1577 |
My wife refuses to go paperless. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1578 |
...but what hurt the most is when she served me with the divorce papers. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1579 |
My wife stabbing me in the back wasn't the worst part - she attached a shopping list. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1580 |
If your letter was an attempt to stab me in the heart, you missed. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1581 |
Nice touch, Blanch. It's bad enough that you left me and ran off with the circus, but to have your new boyfriend the knife thrower deliver the "Dear John" letter is so "you". |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1582 |
Next time, just leave voicemail. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1583 |
When she told me she was going to stick me with the mortgage payments, she wasn't kidding! |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1584 |
Well, she wants a divorce. She was very clear on that. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1585 |
Mildred knows about us. |
1.3415 |
0.06309 |
82 |
58 |
20 |
4 |
1586 |
out of nowhere...she's filing for divorce! |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1587 |
Honey, my lawyer says it still needs your signature. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1588 |
Your mother won't be joining us for lunch. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1589 |
You know Sweetie, there is a bulletin board in the kitchen? |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1590 |
Yes, I did get your message. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1591 |
Hello GOP. Yes, I just got your Republican tax break bill notice from the mailman...interesting delivery method you picked for us in the middle class, good joke, point well made. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1592 |
I think the IRS is starting to crack down on back taxes. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1593 |
Upset? I'd notice if she's upset. |
1.3415 |
0.07201 |
82 |
62 |
12 |
8 |
1594 |
Hi, front desk? This is Room 127, I'd like to switch to paperless billing. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1595 |
Some murder mystery writers do not deal well with rejection. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1596 |
I have the feeling somebody is trying to tell me something. |
1.3415 |
0.07201 |
82 |
62 |
12 |
8 |
1597 |
She claims I was always turning my back to her and missed her messages. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1598 |
Yes, I just received your final offer. Frankly, I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1599 |
Does this mean we're not settling? |
1.3415 |
0.06309 |
82 |
58 |
20 |
4 |
1600 |
Okay. You nailed it. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1601 |
I'm guessing it's the work of some back stabbing lawyer. |
1.3415 |
0.06989 |
82 |
61 |
14 |
7 |
1602 |
At least she waited until halftime. |
1.3415 |
0.06543 |
82 |
59 |
18 |
5 |
1603 |
I think someone put a contract out in me. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1604 |
All in all, slightly less excruciating than Twitter |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1605 |
Sorry Dear! What list? |
1.3415 |
0.06309 |
82 |
58 |
20 |
4 |
1606 |
Some Republicans thought I was the President! |
1.3415 |
0.07201 |
82 |
62 |
12 |
8 |
1607 |
Sure I'll hold, but it hurts. |
1.3415 |
0.06770 |
82 |
60 |
16 |
6 |
1608 |
I received your last bill and it is literally killing me... |
1.3412 |
0.07209 |
85 |
65 |
11 |
9 |
1609 |
Yes....that's right.. divorce papers. And I think she's serious this time! |
1.3412 |
0.06600 |
85 |
62 |
17 |
6 |
1610 |
No, I'm not going to bend over backwards to read the fine print. |
1.3412 |
0.06385 |
85 |
61 |
19 |
5 |
1611 |
The rumors are correct. It is a hostile takeover. |
1.3412 |
0.06385 |
85 |
61 |
19 |
5 |
1612 |
No, I haven't read it yet. |
1.3412 |
0.06809 |
85 |
63 |
15 |
7 |
1613 |
I give up, honey. Where is it? |
1.3412 |
0.07012 |
85 |
64 |
13 |
8 |
1614 |
She's out right now but left me a note! |
1.3412 |
0.06600 |
85 |
62 |
17 |
6 |
1615 |
Hello, I need to report a murder. Yes, I have all the forms filled out! |
1.3373 |
0.06916 |
83 |
62 |
14 |
7 |
1616 |
Honey, have you gotten back to me on that "to-do" list? |
1.3373 |
0.06916 |
83 |
62 |
14 |
7 |
1617 |
It's not what you did, it's what you said that hurt. |
1.3373 |
0.06477 |
83 |
60 |
18 |
5 |
1618 |
I’m willing to negoiate. |
1.3373 |
0.06477 |
83 |
60 |
18 |
5 |
1619 |
I'd love to grab a beer, but I have this Honey-Do list that feels pretty urgent. |
1.3373 |
0.06700 |
83 |
61 |
16 |
6 |
1620 |
Yes Dear, I got the divorce papers |
1.3373 |
0.06916 |
83 |
62 |
14 |
7 |
1621 |
You could have told me to my face |
1.3373 |
0.06916 |
83 |
62 |
14 |
7 |
1622 |
It's not so much the pink slip, it's the fact he's such a drama queen |
1.3373 |
0.06916 |
83 |
62 |
14 |
7 |
1623 |
Something you wrote really sticks with me. |
1.3373 |
0.05757 |
83 |
57 |
24 |
2 |
1624 |
Honey...Yes I got your email, but I’m having a problem with the attachment. |
1.3373 |
0.06246 |
83 |
59 |
20 |
4 |
1625 |
It's not like her to leave without telling me. |
1.3373 |
0.06700 |
83 |
61 |
16 |
6 |
1626 |
That's it. I'm not representing any more Young Adult authors. |
1.3373 |
0.06700 |
83 |
61 |
16 |
6 |
1627 |
Yes, but she’s not in a mood to talk. |
1.3372 |
0.06741 |
86 |
64 |
15 |
7 |
1628 |
Take the kids to your mother's....I have a contract on me. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1629 |
Can you please tell someone at the theology department that I've found a 96th thesis? |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1630 |
From the opening handshake to the parting slap on the back I found him to be an honest to God deal maker! |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1631 |
Is it legal for my wife to serve me the divorce papers personally? |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1632 |
I'm not sure what her note says, but I don't think she's coming back. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1633 |
Yes, she definitely has some issues. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1634 |
Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but it's that !#%?ing small print that kills me! |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1635 |
Oh yes, Gladys. But may I suggest that going through your divorce lawyer would have been a more adult way of doing it. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1636 |
I think there are some parts of the divorce settlement she is objecting to. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1637 |
No, Marsha, I didn't see your note. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1638 |
Yes dear. I got your 'to-do' list. It's just hard to read in mirror. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1639 |
The board decided to give me my severance papers today |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1640 |
You wouldn’t think a Luther 500 celebration would get so out of hand. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1641 |
Listen, about that urgent message you sent me... |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1642 |
Can I take that as a maybe? |
1.3333 |
0.06086 |
81 |
57 |
21 |
3 |
1643 |
So, Martin, Luther finally came by and turned in his thesis |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1644 |
Yes, Mr. Corleone, I did receive your to-do list. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1645 |
Sorry honey, I can't seem to find the shopping list. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1646 |
I think it's going to be a hostile takeover. |
1.3333 |
0.07244 |
81 |
62 |
11 |
8 |
1647 |
I can’t tell, are you going to publish my story or not? |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1648 |
Oh, she signed them all right. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1649 |
Honey, I found the “To Do” list! |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1650 |
Trust me, he'll stab you in the back the first chance he gets. |
1.3333 |
0.07244 |
81 |
62 |
11 |
8 |
1651 |
Yeah Doc, I have a whole list of back pains. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1652 |
Yes, dear. I found the want ads right where you left them. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1653 |
We were playing Martin Luther and the 95 theses. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1654 |
hold on...I appear to be getting an urgent message. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1655 |
Even worse, she hired a Lutheran lawyer and he still has about 92 pages to deliver yet. |
1.3333 |
0.06845 |
84 |
63 |
14 |
7 |
1656 |
May I please speak with my attorney, I believe I've just been served divorce papers. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1657 |
You win. I will subscribe to the Sunday Times. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1658 |
I'm pretty sure they're divorce papers. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1659 |
Can you make it quick? I'm in rehearsals for the Divorce-Attorney Association's production of Julius Caesar. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1660 |
I got my wife to sign the divorce papers. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1661 |
Listen...I can't speak to the millions of crank calls you say you've received about this but I actually HAVE been stabbed in the back by the Republican tax bill and I need professional help immediately! |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1662 |
The firing was a surprise, but I got a great reference. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1663 |
The details aren't important. |
1.3333 |
0.05948 |
84 |
59 |
22 |
3 |
1664 |
If you've got something to say, at least have the guts to stab it to my face. |
1.3333 |
0.07244 |
81 |
62 |
11 |
8 |
1665 |
You could have just emailed the divorce papers. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1666 |
Are you sure this is not covered under my health plan? |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1667 |
Yes, my wife just served the papers... |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1668 |
I'd like to complain about your back bill posting policy. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1669 |
As you suggested, doctor, we exchanged our respective lists of marital grievances. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1670 |
Where did you leave the 'honey-do' list? |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1671 |
Yeah, Doc, I've had this nagging pain ever since my wife served me with divorce papers |
1.3333 |
0.05556 |
81 |
55 |
25 |
1 |
1672 |
I paid last month’s cable bill on time but got stuck with a penalty for being late. I’m wondering if you could remove it. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1673 |
The divorce papers? Yes, I just received them. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1674 |
I told you that I cannot "state" my emergency. Someone will have to read it to me. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1675 |
I was just standing in a church doorway... |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1676 |
I have this stabbing pain in my back, and I couldn't find it on WebMD so I called you, doctor. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1677 |
Et tu, Barbara? |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1678 |
No, I am not calling 911 to report that I was betrayed. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1679 |
Hello, is this the Lutheran church? I'd like to file a complaint against one of your ministers. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1680 |
Thank you for leaving the reminder note about our anniversary. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1681 |
No, she's not home, and quite frankly, I don't expect her to return. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1682 |
Yes, Mom. It appears we're getting divorced. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1683 |
I thought there was a 5 day grace period? |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1684 |
...so then I said, ‘We communicate just fine!’ |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1685 |
Well, she was always a devout Protestant. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1686 |
I don't want to pick a quarrel but you chose a very rude courier service. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1687 |
Honey, you said the electricity bill was under the knife, but I can't find either of them. |
1.3333 |
0.07244 |
81 |
62 |
11 |
8 |
1688 |
The negotiations? Oh, fine. You know, some minor points, but nothing I can't handle. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1689 |
"911, What's your emergency? |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1690 |
I think she wants a divorce. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1691 |
Your mother's letter arrived. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1692 |
Yes, Vinnie, I have the contract right here. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1693 |
It appears that I have been served. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1694 |
I'm not questioning that you served me, it's the method I object to. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1695 |
She called it a ' Honey Die" list. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1696 |
I've reformed. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1697 |
Next time, could you just email me? |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1698 |
B-R-U-T-U-S !! |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1699 |
Mary always uses my own words to stab me in the back. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1700 |
Working for Trump is tremendous! Fantastic!! Amazing!!! |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1701 |
Trust me: it's still better than being on social media. |
1.3333 |
0.06086 |
81 |
57 |
21 |
3 |
1702 |
I’m telling you, it’s not fake news |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1703 |
Apparently, someone else wanted to take a stab at my work. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1704 |
Hi, I'm responding to the message you left earlier. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1705 |
My wife is killing me with her "to do" lists. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1706 |
Yes, I got the divorce papers. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1707 |
I got the message. |
1.3333 |
0.07244 |
81 |
62 |
11 |
8 |
1708 |
I still haven’t seen the terms and conditions. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1709 |
I did, but apparently the average tip is 20% now... |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1710 |
Yes... Mr Kushner stopped by and said he's got my back in tomorrow's Senate hearing. |
1.3333 |
0.06804 |
81 |
60 |
15 |
6 |
1711 |
I'm calling about the "Early Contract Cancellation Penalties"? |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1712 |
I finally got hold of his tax return. |
1.3333 |
0.07027 |
81 |
61 |
13 |
7 |
1713 |
I sense you want a divorce. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1714 |
Honey, can you tell me again where you put the grocery list? |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1715 |
The new guaranteed message service is working but it is a bloody nuisance. |
1.3333 |
0.06573 |
81 |
59 |
17 |
5 |
1716 |
I have no idea where the contract is. I bet those backstabbers in the office are hiding it from me on purpose. |
1.3333 |
0.06334 |
81 |
58 |
19 |
4 |
1717 |
Hi, just received a demand from the White House to drop the investigation. |
1.3293 |
0.06270 |
82 |
59 |
19 |
4 |
1718 |
So I take it you won’t be renewing your lease. |
1.3293 |
0.06953 |
82 |
62 |
13 |
7 |
1719 |
Trump delivered his message and this time it wasn't a Tweet. |
1.3293 |
0.06953 |
82 |
62 |
13 |
7 |
1720 |
...yes, well when they knocked on the door I suspected they were Jehovah's Witnesses. Turns out they were Lutheran after all. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1721 |
I've been served with my walking papers. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1722 |
Honey, I have no idea where you put the grocery list. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1723 |
Hello Congressman. I'm calling about your latest tax plan. |
1.3291 |
0.07367 |
79 |
61 |
10 |
8 |
1724 |
Hi -- say, I've received my renewal notice from Healthcare.gov and I have a few questions. |
1.3291 |
0.07584 |
79 |
62 |
8 |
9 |
1725 |
Um, Yes, Comcast? I'm ready to go paperless now. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1726 |
It still feels like you stabbed me in the back. |
1.3291 |
0.06168 |
79 |
56 |
20 |
3 |
1727 |
Honey, where did you put those divorce papers? |
1.3291 |
0.07143 |
79 |
60 |
12 |
7 |
1728 |
I am telling you, I did not have a face to face meeting with the Russians. |
1.3291 |
0.06168 |
79 |
56 |
20 |
3 |
1729 |
I just received your final notice. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1730 |
Doctor, I just got my divorce papers but I need your help in retrieving them. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1731 |
I received the divorce papers. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1732 |
The divorce will be finalized once I get around to signing the papers. |
1.3291 |
0.05899 |
79 |
55 |
22 |
2 |
1733 |
I'm calling about the subpoena that was served on me today. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1734 |
I just told her, "I am sick and tired of seeing your "to do" list everywhere I go!" |
1.3291 |
0.06168 |
79 |
56 |
20 |
3 |
1735 |
Yes, I did receive a copy of the proposed contract but I have not yet had a chance to read it. |
1.3291 |
0.07143 |
79 |
60 |
12 |
7 |
1736 |
Yeah, I finally nailed the back story on POTUS. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1737 |
Couldn't you have made your point in an email? |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1738 |
Yes dear, I know you've listed 95 problems with our marriage...but this last move seems a bit extreme. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1739 |
911? Yes, I'll hold. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1740 |
'Where did you put the shopping list?" |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1741 |
I have a bad feeling it's Trump's new tax plan. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1742 |
Just got the divorce papers. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1743 |
No, she didn't send a messenger, she delivered the divorce papers in person! |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1744 |
Mugged, yes. By lawyers. I believe it was a pack of lawyers. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1745 |
Yes, my wife finally gave me the divorce papers to sign. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1746 |
You're not hearing me, Fred...I'm pretty sure she won't agree to the changes. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1747 |
Could you come over and read her note to me? |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1748 |
She didn't respond that well to my asking for a pre-nup. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1749 |
I calling to let you know I received the new Republican Tax plan and I wanted to express my distaste for it. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1750 |
Actually, I wanted the no-fault, no-pain divorce. |
1.3291 |
0.07143 |
79 |
60 |
12 |
7 |
1751 |
Hold on. I think Lois just let me know if I can go to Vegas with you, next weekend. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1752 |
The papers were served but I haven't had a chance to read them yet. |
1.3291 |
0.06168 |
79 |
56 |
20 |
3 |
1753 |
Yes, Dear. I won’t forget to pick up the items on your grocery list. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1754 |
I think I just got a very pointed text message. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1755 |
Yes, I have my cellphone contract, but it is difficult to read, given where you put it. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1756 |
Yes, your lawyer served the divorce papers. She is rather hostile. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1757 |
At least they didn't throw me under the bus. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1758 |
All I heard was, 'Hear ye, hear ye' - then he ran away. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1759 |
Yes, I WOULD be interested in your 'Life Alert'! |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1760 |
I've been served. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1761 |
My wife just filed for divorce. Could you send an ambulance? |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1762 |
Yes, I'm sure I was served with divorce papers. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1763 |
No. Just ask him whether, hypothetically speaking, a subpoena delivered via dagger in a dark alley is a lawful means of service. |
1.3291 |
0.07367 |
79 |
61 |
10 |
8 |
1764 |
Yes, I agree, Chapeldoor is an unusual last name--ironic even, yes. Now, about that ambulance... |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1765 |
I'd say this 500 year commemoration of Martin Luther has gotten out of hand. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1766 |
Uhm, yes. She gave me the divorce papers, but I haven’t been able to sign them yet. |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1767 |
Honey, where did you put the letter opener? |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1768 |
Kevlar T-shirt company? I'd like to file a complaint. |
1.3291 |
0.07143 |
79 |
60 |
12 |
7 |
1769 |
Remember Bob, our classmate with the "kick me" signs? He's a mob lawyer now. |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1770 |
911 ? My emergency ? This subpoena is killing me. |
1.3291 |
0.06168 |
79 |
56 |
20 |
3 |
1771 |
Please tell Mr. Steinman that my wife would like to make some changes to the divorce offer |
1.3291 |
0.07143 |
79 |
60 |
12 |
7 |
1772 |
Hello, Martin Luther? I think you have the wrong house. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1773 |
I was standing in front of Wittenberg Castle Church and this monk stabs me in the back with 95 Theses.... in Latin, no less.... |
1.3291 |
0.07143 |
79 |
60 |
12 |
7 |
1774 |
Hi, I just wanted to verify, a divorce agreement with blood stains is valid? |
1.3291 |
0.06426 |
79 |
57 |
18 |
4 |
1775 |
No, I still haven't seen your list of grievances. |
1.3291 |
0.05617 |
79 |
54 |
24 |
1 |
1776 |
I just got served with the divorce papers. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1777 |
Bringing up the prenup didn't go as badly as I thought it might. |
1.3291 |
0.07367 |
79 |
61 |
10 |
8 |
1778 |
I'm not sure. My unsigned divorce papers I'd guess. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1779 |
I got the divorce papers today... |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1780 |
She says that it's all explained in the note. |
1.3291 |
0.06674 |
79 |
58 |
16 |
5 |
1781 |
My wife turned out to be a real backstabber in this divorce. |
1.3291 |
0.07143 |
79 |
60 |
12 |
7 |
1782 |
Yes, I got the message, but I can't read it. |
1.3291 |
0.07143 |
79 |
60 |
12 |
7 |
1783 |
So, is this what you meant about tax cuts to the middle class? |
1.3291 |
0.06912 |
79 |
59 |
14 |
6 |
1784 |
Look, Doris, I've looked everywhere for those divorce papers you dropped off, but... |
1.3250 |
0.06602 |
80 |
59 |
16 |
5 |
1785 |
Yes, 95 theses, but it's the one knife that I'm worried about. |
1.3250 |
0.07286 |
80 |
62 |
10 |
8 |
1786 |
"Hello Sid, I think I've been subpoenaed by my ex-wife". |
1.3250 |
0.06358 |
80 |
58 |
18 |
4 |
1787 |
Yes, I got your message. |
1.3250 |
0.06104 |
80 |
57 |
20 |
3 |
1788 |
I'll need a mirror, but I'm pretty sure the divorce papers are now signed. |
1.3250 |
0.06602 |
80 |
59 |
16 |
5 |
1789 |
Yeah, she left me but didn't take the good knife set. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1790 |
No, they did not actually say they were rejecting my book. |
1.3247 |
0.07025 |
77 |
58 |
13 |
6 |
1791 |
That's right, officer. He said his name was Luther, then something about 95 theses and didn't have time to find a church door and had a plane to catch and would I mind? Can you send someone over right away? My back is killing me. |
1.3247 |
0.07025 |
77 |
58 |
13 |
6 |
1792 |
Please tell your lawyer that I got his subpoena. |
1.3247 |
0.07496 |
77 |
60 |
9 |
8 |
1793 |
No, I was expecting a poison pen letter. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1794 |
The writing's a bit pedestrian, but the surprise ending was quite effective |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1795 |
Ya, my fiancée didn’t like the idea of a prenup. |
1.3247 |
0.07265 |
77 |
59 |
11 |
7 |
1796 |
I thought you said the divorce was going to be amicable. |
1.3247 |
0.05974 |
77 |
54 |
21 |
2 |
1797 |
Didn't hear you leave this morning. I'm fine, dear. What's up? |
1.3247 |
0.07025 |
77 |
58 |
13 |
6 |
1798 |
Yes, I understand that you are leaving me because you feel I'm dead inside, and no I have not seen any damn note! |
1.3247 |
0.07265 |
77 |
59 |
11 |
7 |
1799 |
I'm guessing they're divorce papers, but it's difficult to tell. |
1.3247 |
0.07025 |
77 |
58 |
13 |
6 |
1800 |
Divorce papers? How could I miss them? |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1801 |
My ex just sent me another letter. |
1.3247 |
0.07025 |
77 |
58 |
13 |
6 |
1802 |
I couldn't find your note. Where did you leave it? |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1803 |
I can't see you tonight. My back is hurting too much. Oh, and my wife found the letter you sent. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1804 |
There's a sticking point in the Sanity Clause. |
1.3247 |
0.07265 |
77 |
59 |
11 |
7 |
1805 |
I’d like to report an assault with the English language. |
1.3247 |
0.07025 |
77 |
58 |
13 |
6 |
1806 |
Hello Amazon? I have some feedback on your new newspaper delivery system.. |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1807 |
Yes doctor, I would describe it as a stabbing pain in my upper back. |
1.3247 |
0.07025 |
77 |
58 |
13 |
6 |
1808 |
Hold on, my wife has something to add. |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1809 |
Can I call you back? My wife just served me with divorce papers. |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1810 |
The gas company has gotten a lot more aggressive about their shut-off notices. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1811 |
You forgot to tip the mailman. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1812 |
...yes, I believe his name is Marin Luther... |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1813 |
I won't be in today, I've become painfully aware of some domestic needs I need to attend to. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1814 |
Next time, just fax it. |
1.3247 |
0.05974 |
77 |
54 |
21 |
2 |
1815 |
She dropped off the divorce papers today. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1816 |
I told you, I can't read it! It's not like it's been nailed to my door! |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1817 |
Yes I did get the divorce papers. The whole process has been very painful for me. |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1818 |
I got your message. You get right to the point, don't you? |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1819 |
Nope, she just stormed out without saying a word. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1820 |
A survey? Sure, I have time. Go ahead. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1821 |
I haven't even read the thing yet and already I'm wounded. |
1.3247 |
0.07265 |
77 |
59 |
11 |
7 |
1822 |
Oh, I got the point. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1823 |
I have a feeling that it's not good news. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1824 |
She wants a divorce, I didn't see it coming. Yeah its pretty painful. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1825 |
No, I'm pretty sure it won't be amicable. She's already served notice. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1826 |
Does our plan cover marriage counseling? |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1827 |
I don't believe it's her "honey-do" list. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1828 |
I haven't read it yet, but it just feels like an emergency. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1829 |
I'd call it more than 'hen-pecked'. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1830 |
Honey, I think it's time we paid the Chiropractor |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1831 |
Hi, I'd like to get caught up on my rent. |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1832 |
I've kind of gotten painfully attached to the manuscript. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1833 |
Yes, dear, you’ve made your point about counseling. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1834 |
Where exactly did you say you put it? |
1.3247 |
0.07025 |
77 |
58 |
13 |
6 |
1835 |
I can't talk right now; I' ve got the law on my back! |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1836 |
Charlotte.... when you said you'd stick it to me, you hurt me deeply. |
1.3247 |
0.07265 |
77 |
59 |
11 |
7 |
1837 |
His name is Martin Luther. |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1838 |
My recent submission was painfully rejected. |
1.3247 |
0.06521 |
77 |
56 |
17 |
4 |
1839 |
I thought it was a Honey Do list but I'm thinking she had something else in mind. |
1.3247 |
0.07265 |
77 |
59 |
11 |
7 |
1840 |
Yes, I’ve been served. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1841 |
Sorry Bob, the wife's To Do list trumps golf today. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1842 |
I'm pretty sure my son Martin will not be attending the Catechism class. |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1843 |
I think they are a little disappointed in my performance this year. |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1844 |
Hi Mark I think my Sharon just served me those divorce papers. |
1.3247 |
0.07265 |
77 |
59 |
11 |
7 |
1845 |
Well, the good news is I got a lot off my chest. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1846 |
I can really feel the thrust of your argument. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1847 |
Yes, she just served me with divorce papers. |
1.3247 |
0.06778 |
77 |
57 |
15 |
5 |
1848 |
These assembly instructions are not user-friendly. |
1.3247 |
0.06253 |
77 |
55 |
19 |
3 |
1849 |
Yes my wife has seen this morning’s Washington Post. |
1.3247 |
0.07265 |
77 |
59 |
11 |
7 |
1850 |
I object to the way she served the divorce papers! |
1.3210 |
0.06989 |
81 |
62 |
12 |
7 |
1851 |
You're in luck. I think Dad wants to change his will. |
1.3205 |
0.06703 |
78 |
58 |
15 |
5 |
1852 |
It's a killer script. |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1853 |
Can you define "Pre - Existing" condition? |
1.3200 |
0.06342 |
75 |
54 |
18 |
3 |
1854 |
Despite the obvious, I don't see a point to your manifesto. |
1.3200 |
0.06620 |
75 |
55 |
16 |
4 |
1855 |
There's a message for you, but I can't read it. |
1.3200 |
0.06051 |
75 |
53 |
20 |
2 |
1856 |
You know hurts most? The legalese. |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1857 |
They left a ransom note, but I haven't read it yet. |
1.3200 |
0.06620 |
75 |
55 |
16 |
4 |
1858 |
Yes, I just received the divorce papers. |
1.3200 |
0.06342 |
75 |
54 |
18 |
3 |
1859 |
I'm telling you, no matter what it says, it was not suicide. |
1.3200 |
0.06620 |
75 |
55 |
16 |
4 |
1860 |
You said you had my back! |
1.3200 |
0.07143 |
75 |
57 |
12 |
6 |
1861 |
I got the point of your message but couldn't you just email it? |
1.3200 |
0.06620 |
75 |
55 |
16 |
4 |
1862 |
No, I can't stay on hold. |
1.3200 |
0.07143 |
75 |
57 |
12 |
6 |
1863 |
No, I can't read them, but I'm pretty sure they're divorce papers. |
1.3200 |
0.06342 |
75 |
54 |
18 |
3 |
1864 |
Can I call you back? My daughter just presented me with a dissenting opinion. |
1.3200 |
0.06620 |
75 |
55 |
16 |
4 |
1865 |
I don't know, Senator, I guess I just assumed that stabbing me in the back with taxes was a figure of speech... |
1.3200 |
0.07391 |
75 |
58 |
10 |
7 |
1866 |
Sorry I can't make it, I'm stuck with a huge "honey do" list. |
1.3200 |
0.07143 |
75 |
57 |
12 |
6 |
1867 |
No, honey, I haven't read your note yet, but I sense you are still cross with me. |
1.3200 |
0.06620 |
75 |
55 |
16 |
4 |
1868 |
I get the point of the contract, I just don't like how it was delivered. |
1.3200 |
0.07391 |
75 |
58 |
10 |
7 |
1869 |
“No, it’s a metaphor. A simile would use ‘like’ or ‘as’. |
1.3200 |
0.07143 |
75 |
57 |
12 |
6 |
1870 |
I got the point but I don't see it. |
1.3200 |
0.07143 |
75 |
57 |
12 |
6 |
1871 |
I just got the divorce papers and, in fairness, she once said she'd always have my back. |
1.3200 |
0.07391 |
75 |
58 |
10 |
7 |
1872 |
My wife just filed the divorce papers. |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1873 |
No, Brutus just left. |
1.3200 |
0.06620 |
75 |
55 |
16 |
4 |
1874 |
Yeah, well as soon as I get to a mirror I'll tell you what the charges are. |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1875 |
No, she didn't like my suggestions. |
1.3200 |
0.06051 |
75 |
53 |
20 |
2 |
1876 |
I’d like to order a bulletin board please |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1877 |
Let me cut to the chase. |
1.3200 |
0.06342 |
75 |
54 |
18 |
3 |
1878 |
Yes officer, I agree that it was probably a contract killer, but why include the contract? |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1879 |
Jenna, a simple “no” to not wanting to see me ever again would have been a better option. |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1880 |
So should I pick up some milk, too? |
1.3200 |
0.07391 |
75 |
58 |
10 |
7 |
1881 |
No doctor, I didn’t receive the bill, but the backpain is still there. |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1882 |
Hi honey, I can’t seem to find your “to do” list. |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1883 |
I think Post it notes was a better idea |
1.3200 |
0.06620 |
75 |
55 |
16 |
4 |
1884 |
Hello...Mr. Luther...so when was your most recent eye exam? |
1.3200 |
0.06342 |
75 |
54 |
18 |
3 |
1885 |
Yes, Officer, I was just standing in front of the Wittenberg Castle church when... |
1.3200 |
0.07143 |
75 |
57 |
12 |
6 |
1886 |
She signed it. |
1.3200 |
0.07143 |
75 |
57 |
12 |
6 |
1887 |
Yes, she signed the papers. |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1888 |
Yes, the memo arrived, hand delivered. There is, however, a sticking point... |
1.3200 |
0.06886 |
75 |
56 |
14 |
5 |
1889 |
I hear they stuck a knife in the middle class tax cut. |
1.3200 |
0.07143 |
75 |
57 |
12 |
6 |
1890 |
I just got served. |
1.3200 |
0.06620 |
75 |
55 |
16 |
4 |
1891 |
No, I can’t get you my order number right now. |
1.3200 |
0.06342 |
75 |
54 |
18 |
3 |
1892 |
You know that back story you've been wanting me to find? It just hit me. |
1.3200 |
0.07143 |
75 |
57 |
12 |
6 |
1893 |
Glad you noticed. I'll change it from back to front. |
1.3200 |
0.06342 |
75 |
54 |
18 |
3 |
1894 |
"Hi, I'd like to re-schedule my marriage counseling appointment"! |
1.3200 |
0.06051 |
75 |
53 |
20 |
2 |
1895 |
No thank you, I'm already stuck to my cable contract for the year. |
1.3171 |
0.06464 |
82 |
61 |
16 |
5 |
1896 |
I would like to order a bulletin board and a box of thumbtacks for my wife. |
1.3158 |
0.06808 |
76 |
57 |
14 |
5 |
1897 |
911? I need some help reading my wife’s alimony demands. |
1.3158 |
0.07305 |
76 |
59 |
10 |
7 |
1898 |
In this case, the Constitution doesn't protect me. |
1.3158 |
0.06808 |
76 |
57 |
14 |
5 |
1899 |
Sorry Dear, but can you do the shopping this week? I can’t find the list and my back is killing me! |
1.3158 |
0.06808 |
76 |
57 |
14 |
5 |
1900 |
Sweetie, it appears you have forgotten to sign the prenup. |
1.3158 |
0.06808 |
76 |
57 |
14 |
5 |
1901 |
A Post-it Note would have sufficed. |
1.3158 |
0.06546 |
76 |
56 |
16 |
4 |
1902 |
Yes, I did ask you to sharpen your delivery. |
1.3158 |
0.06272 |
76 |
55 |
18 |
3 |
1903 |
I decided not to insist on the prenup. |
1.3158 |
0.07061 |
76 |
58 |
12 |
6 |
1904 |
Honey, where did you say you left my list of chores? |
1.3158 |
0.06808 |
76 |
57 |
14 |
5 |
1905 |
Yes...I think I’m finally persuaded to become a contributing circle member. |
1.3158 |
0.06546 |
76 |
56 |
16 |
4 |
1906 |
Luther in Sales said he'd take a stab at it |
1.3158 |
0.05685 |
76 |
53 |
22 |
1 |
1907 |
You might say it arrived by Fed-up Ex. |
1.3158 |
0.06808 |
76 |
57 |
14 |
5 |
1908 |
Yes, I suggested he put his ideas down on paper..... |
1.3158 |
0.06546 |
76 |
56 |
16 |
4 |
1909 |
I don't know why she's so angry. She left a long letter but I can't read it. |
1.3158 |
0.07061 |
76 |
58 |
12 |
6 |
1910 |
I'd like to file a complaint about your process server. |
1.3158 |
0.06546 |
76 |
56 |
16 |
4 |
1911 |
She hit me with divorce papers. |
1.3158 |
0.06808 |
76 |
57 |
14 |
5 |
1912 |
But honey, you usually leave the list on the kitchen counter. |
1.3158 |
0.06272 |
76 |
55 |
18 |
3 |
1913 |
Flo just filed the divorce papers. I know, I know. I didn't see it coming, either. |
1.3158 |
0.06808 |
76 |
57 |
14 |
5 |
1914 |
Hello, this is the president of the co-op board; maybe we should reconsider that application. |
1.3158 |
0.06272 |
76 |
55 |
18 |
3 |
1915 |
My wife left me a note to call the doctor about stabbing pain that I've been experiencing. |
1.3158 |
0.06808 |
76 |
57 |
14 |
5 |
1916 |
My wife says your early cancellation penalty is too severe. |
1.3158 |
0.07061 |
76 |
58 |
12 |
6 |
1917 |
And now I can't even read the damn 'to-do' list, so joke's on her! |
1.3158 |
0.07542 |
76 |
60 |
8 |
8 |
1918 |
Honey, where exactly did you pin up the to do list. |
1.3158 |
0.07061 |
76 |
58 |
12 |
6 |
1919 |
I think it was Martin Luther. |
1.3158 |
0.07061 |
76 |
58 |
12 |
6 |
1920 |
Tell me again what we need at the store? |
1.3158 |
0.07061 |
76 |
58 |
12 |
6 |
1921 |
I'm pretty sure he's not a real chiropractor |
1.3158 |
0.06272 |
76 |
55 |
18 |
3 |
1922 |
My fiancée didn't like the Prenup ... |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1923 |
Yes dear, your subpoena was served.. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1924 |
I'd like to report a betrayal. |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1925 |
These new plans you’re sticking me with, they’re killing me. |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1926 |
My backstabbing former partner is suing me. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1927 |
Frankly Francine, I preferred the singing telegram. |
1.3151 |
0.07267 |
73 |
56 |
11 |
6 |
1928 |
She left a note. |
1.3151 |
0.07267 |
73 |
56 |
11 |
6 |
1929 |
Yes, stop my service. A local cell provider has made me an offer I can't refuse. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1930 |
Divorce papers? What divorce papers? |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1931 |
Let me take a stab at it...you want a divorce.... |
1.3151 |
0.06130 |
73 |
52 |
19 |
2 |
1932 |
You stab me in the back with a ransom note hand written in cursive and then you have the audacity to call me on my land line. |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1933 |
Yes, I will not forget to go to the market today. |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1934 |
Take Trump at his word when he says, "I'll stick it to you!" |
1.3151 |
0.07267 |
73 |
56 |
11 |
6 |
1935 |
I sense our divorce discussions have entered a new phase. |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1936 |
. . Well, I was standing near the front of the church, and this guy comes up dressed like Martin Luther, . . . . |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1937 |
I'd be happy to take a message for you. |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1938 |
Does the company insurance policy cover backstabbing? |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1939 |
In fact, no, I can't read it to you right now. |
1.3151 |
0.07773 |
73 |
58 |
7 |
8 |
1940 |
Yes dear, I found the divorce papers. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1941 |
It's more of a stabbing pain that gets worse around quarterly review time. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1942 |
I'm calling to let you know I received your message ... |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1943 |
I got their counter offer. |
1.3151 |
0.07267 |
73 |
56 |
11 |
6 |
1944 |
No, I can't read it, but I'm pretty sure it's a list of the ninety-five reasons she wants a divorce. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1945 |
Honey, any quibbles with the prenup? |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1946 |
She presented her objections Luther style. |
1.3151 |
0.07267 |
73 |
56 |
11 |
6 |
1947 |
I have a feeling Marsha isn't going to sign the divorce papers. |
1.3151 |
0.07267 |
73 |
56 |
11 |
6 |
1948 |
I'm telling you! She left without saying a word. Not even a note. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1949 |
Larry, my wife just served me with divorce papers. What’s next? |
1.3151 |
0.06130 |
73 |
52 |
19 |
2 |
1950 |
Yes dear, I finally feel your pain. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1951 |
I'll call you back. Need to take care of a little paper cut. |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1952 |
What kind of knife wounds does my policy cover? |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1953 |
Really, Marge? 'THESES?' Can't you just serve divorce papers like other wives? |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1954 |
To be honest Bill, I can't really recommend the "Immersive Julius Caesar" |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1955 |
No, I haven't read your script yet. |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1956 |
Believe me, there is no such thing as an amicable divorce. |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1957 |
Yes, I received your counter-offer! |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1958 |
You’re killing me with all this paper work. |
1.3151 |
0.07267 |
73 |
56 |
11 |
6 |
1959 |
Yes, I am "assuming" it's divorce papers--I can't see it, but... |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1960 |
My guess is he's a Roman, a Lutheran, or a mugger. |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1961 |
Yes Dear, I have your note. |
1.3151 |
0.06130 |
73 |
52 |
19 |
2 |
1962 |
Well, I’m having a few stabbing pains but I think theyll subside once the contract is signed. |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1963 |
Well, of course it hurts. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1964 |
Yes, I received the new Terms and Conditions |
1.3151 |
0.06130 |
73 |
52 |
19 |
2 |
1965 |
I just can't read your note. |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1966 |
I was just informed that my wife filed for divorce. |
1.3151 |
0.07524 |
73 |
57 |
9 |
7 |
1967 |
Someone unfriended me! |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1968 |
So, are we still on for tonight? |
1.3151 |
0.07267 |
73 |
56 |
11 |
6 |
1969 |
I didn't get a good look, but I'm pretty sure he was a Lutheran. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1970 |
I just have a feeling this isn't the tax relief Trump promised. |
1.3151 |
0.07267 |
73 |
56 |
11 |
6 |
1971 |
Yes operator, we were playing charades. Where? In the library with the knife. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1972 |
Subpoena? ... I didn't get any subpoena. |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1973 |
Hold on, I just got your message. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1974 |
I'm gonna be a little late. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1975 |
Hello, front desk? - I've got a complaint about my bill... |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1976 |
I didn't understand the contract, so my wife took a stab at it. |
1.3151 |
0.06433 |
73 |
53 |
17 |
3 |
1977 |
Congress just passed tax reform. |
1.3151 |
0.07000 |
73 |
55 |
13 |
5 |
1978 |
Ok, Martha, you can have the still life. |
1.3151 |
0.06723 |
73 |
54 |
15 |
4 |
1979 |
I was hoping that your rejection notice would be a little less pointed. |
1.3151 |
0.05812 |
73 |
51 |
21 |
1 |
1980 |
I don't know where she is. She just left me a note. |
1.3151 |
0.06130 |
73 |
52 |
19 |
2 |
1981 |
911?, help! I was just received the Republicans tax reform bill! |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
1982 |
Actually, it's more like 106 theses; and, no, she didn't nail them to the front door. |
1.3117 |
0.06981 |
77 |
59 |
12 |
6 |
1983 |
And where did you leave the note? |
1.3117 |
0.06981 |
77 |
59 |
12 |
6 |
1984 |
Honey, I have a feeling there's something you want to tell me, |
1.3117 |
0.06203 |
77 |
56 |
18 |
3 |
1985 |
I can't understand why you didn't get the payment. My wife figured out a surefire way to remind me to send our bills in on time. |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
1986 |
I wasn't being literal. |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
1987 |
She said it was important. |
1.3117 |
0.05921 |
77 |
55 |
20 |
2 |
1988 |
Can't you just do it on social media like everyone else, Myrtle? |
1.3117 |
0.06203 |
77 |
56 |
18 |
3 |
1989 |
Wait, what exactly did you mean by 'early termination fee'? |
1.3117 |
0.06203 |
77 |
56 |
18 |
3 |
1990 |
The good news first honey. It finally appears my divorce is being granted. |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
1991 |
Can't go out tonight, Larry. My wife is dead serious about this "honey-do" list. |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
1992 |
Where's the shopping list? |
1.3117 |
0.06732 |
77 |
58 |
14 |
5 |
1993 |
This isn't the type of pointed feedback I expected |
1.3117 |
0.05921 |
77 |
55 |
20 |
2 |
1994 |
"Hi Fiona, I've just got your letter". |
1.3117 |
0.06981 |
77 |
59 |
12 |
6 |
1995 |
Frankly, you're killing me here with your onerous terms. |
1.3117 |
0.06981 |
77 |
59 |
12 |
6 |
1996 |
I understand you're a little upset, but what's for dinner? |
1.3117 |
0.06732 |
77 |
58 |
14 |
5 |
1997 |
Do process servers have any restrictions? |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
1998 |
Yes, I'll renew my subscription. |
1.3117 |
0.06732 |
77 |
58 |
14 |
5 |
1999 |
Me too....but i just can't put my finger on it. |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
2000 |
Yeah 911, I’ll be needing an ambulance, but is it possible to stop by my lawyer’s office on the way to the hospital? |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
2001 |
You misunderstood. I said I'd like to change my delivery option to email not chain mail. |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
2002 |
I just can't face the divorce papers she served me with! |
1.3117 |
0.06203 |
77 |
56 |
18 |
3 |
2003 |
I have a strong feeling that she wants a divorce. |
1.3117 |
0.06732 |
77 |
58 |
14 |
5 |
2004 |
No, I still don't see your point. |
1.3117 |
0.06473 |
77 |
57 |
16 |
4 |
2005 |
Yes Dear, I have tho ToDo list right here |
1.3117 |
0.06981 |
77 |
59 |
12 |
6 |
2006 |
Well, that's the problem, I have to take out the knife to get the account number. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2007 |
Sorry honey, I can't find your "to do" list. |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2008 |
Why do you always put my ‘honey-do’ list where I can’t find it? |
1.3108 |
0.06645 |
74 |
55 |
15 |
4 |
2009 |
YES DEAR I WAS FIRED- SOME BACK STABBERS AT THE OFFICE. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2010 |
I guess she really isn't happy |
1.3108 |
0.06645 |
74 |
55 |
15 |
4 |
2011 |
It wasn't suicide, no matter what my wife tells you |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2012 |
I'm quite sure she already signed... |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2013 |
That's Luther, L-U-T-H-E-R |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2014 |
Yeah, I just got served. So you really want a divorce? Like, for real? |
1.3108 |
0.06645 |
74 |
55 |
15 |
4 |
2015 |
Hello, Wittenberg Cathedral? |
1.3108 |
0.06645 |
74 |
55 |
15 |
4 |
2016 |
She finally signed the divorce papers, but it doesn't look like I will get to keep the house. |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2017 |
For the last time, Margaret, you did not give me a shopping list before you left for work. And I’m getting pretty tired of you saying I don’t listen when you’re talking to me. |
1.3108 |
0.07434 |
74 |
58 |
9 |
7 |
2018 |
I really think she means it this time! |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2019 |
Yes, apparently, I forgot to schedule her follow-up anger management session. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2020 |
Hello? The new tax plan seems to have stabbed me in the back. |
1.3108 |
0.06645 |
74 |
55 |
15 |
4 |
2021 |
He said his name was Luther |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2022 |
No, honey, I didn’t find your shopping list |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2023 |
I no longer expect an amicable divorce. |
1.3108 |
0.06360 |
74 |
54 |
17 |
3 |
2024 |
Next time just tie a string around my finger. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2025 |
Honey, where's that shopping list you were on my back about? |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2026 |
You do know you can mail divorce papers, right? |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2027 |
Yes, they left a note. That's the problem. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2028 |
I'd say it's more of a stabbing pain. |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2029 |
What list? |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2030 |
Hello 911? I've been attacked by Lutherans |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2031 |
Probably would have been better to leave my messages on the machine. |
1.3108 |
0.06062 |
74 |
53 |
19 |
2 |
2032 |
Okay, I’m sorry I didn’t read your email. |
1.3108 |
0.06360 |
74 |
54 |
17 |
3 |
2033 |
I have no idea. I didn't see it coming, and she didn't even leave a note. |
1.3108 |
0.06062 |
74 |
53 |
19 |
2 |
2034 |
What message? |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2035 |
Yes, I got your note. |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2036 |
I just received my final notice so I need to speak to someone in your medical department. |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2037 |
I'd like to discuss my bill. |
1.3108 |
0.06645 |
74 |
55 |
15 |
4 |
2038 |
I just left the White House and my backs been aching ever since. |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2039 |
I'm going to have to disagree with these terms and conditions. |
1.3108 |
0.06062 |
74 |
53 |
19 |
2 |
2040 |
As a matter of fact, they were quite pointed with their concerns about our offer... |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2041 |
I take it, you didn't care for the pre nup? |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2042 |
Yes, I have a complaint about the new paperboy. No, no, his aim is excellent; that's not the problem. |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2043 |
She served me the divorce papers today. |
1.3108 |
0.06360 |
74 |
54 |
17 |
3 |
2044 |
I don't think he liked the changes. |
1.3108 |
0.06360 |
74 |
54 |
17 |
3 |
2045 |
My wife says that I am in fact covered for stabbing back pain. |
1.3108 |
0.07434 |
74 |
58 |
9 |
7 |
2046 |
Yes I received the divorce papers today dear. |
1.3108 |
0.07916 |
74 |
60 |
5 |
9 |
2047 |
It's just not my day. First, the 'Dear John' letter. Then she stabs me in the back. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2048 |
Mr. Mueller, I got the written confession from them that you wanted but not exactly as I expected. You may want to come see this. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2049 |
OK, but Martin Luther posted them to the door. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2050 |
Hi sweety..... yup, yup.... my wife did finally sign the divorce papers......but there's a small glitch. |
1.3108 |
0.06360 |
74 |
54 |
17 |
3 |
2051 |
Please take me off the distribution list. |
1.3108 |
0.07180 |
74 |
57 |
11 |
6 |
2052 |
I’ve got the divorce papers behind me |
1.3108 |
0.06645 |
74 |
55 |
15 |
4 |
2053 |
Describe it? I would definitely say its a painful reminder. |
1.3108 |
0.06360 |
74 |
54 |
17 |
3 |
2054 |
I got your message. |
1.3108 |
0.06645 |
74 |
55 |
15 |
4 |
2055 |
Yes, I got the divorce papers from her. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2056 |
She finally got her point across. |
1.3108 |
0.06918 |
74 |
56 |
13 |
5 |
2057 |
It’s addressed to Dear Recipient. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2058 |
Of course I could tell you were upset, dear, but I still don't know why. |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2059 |
Yes, I'm positive I chose paperless billing. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2060 |
To be honest, Billy, when it comes to being a victim of legalese, I'm having difficulty differentiating between literal and figurative. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2061 |
Yes, boss, I got your note, in the usual place. Yes, of course I get the point. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2062 |
All right. I accept the Terms of Service. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2063 |
Good news. My boss is no longer a pain in the butt. |
1.3099 |
0.07921 |
71 |
57 |
6 |
8 |
2064 |
I got your note. But I'm having some difficulty reading it. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2065 |
Hi babe, is there any chance we can talk about this? |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2066 |
I didn't get a good look, but I think he was a Lutheran. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2067 |
I didn't count them all,but she said it was 95 complaints. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2068 |
No, the pain has always been there, but this time it feels litigious |
1.3099 |
0.06213 |
71 |
51 |
18 |
2 |
2069 |
Yes, I got the point of your message. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2070 |
Take this kids somewhere safe...there's a contract on me |
1.3099 |
0.06213 |
71 |
51 |
18 |
2 |
2071 |
Yes, I did get your message, but I'm having difficulty reading it. |
1.3099 |
0.06213 |
71 |
51 |
18 |
2 |
2072 |
Yes, Dear, I promise I won't forget to sign the divorce papers. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2073 |
I don’t know. When I woke up she was gone and so was my manuscript. |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2074 |
In hindsight, biting the hand that fed you was preferable |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2075 |
You’ve always been a pain, but lower. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2076 |
I asked her for one example where I didn't listen. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2077 |
Reporting an attempt to kill the messenger. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2078 |
Honey, where did you put the grocery list? |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2079 |
Yes. Ms. Borden was already here to sign the contract. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2080 |
Yes, he wrote me back. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2081 |
You could have just emailed me my performance review. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2082 |
And I thought having a "kick me" sign on my back was the worst it could get... |
1.3099 |
0.06213 |
71 |
51 |
18 |
2 |
2083 |
I can't play today. No, it isn't my tennis elbow. |
1.3099 |
0.05880 |
71 |
50 |
20 |
1 |
2084 |
You know, there were easier ways to tell me you want a divorce. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2085 |
Honey, did you leave the chores list where I can find it? |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2086 |
Sorry, Sam, can't make lunch today. I'm stuck at home. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2087 |
I need you to look at a contract. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2088 |
Yes, Dear. I won't forget the shopping list. |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2089 |
Alice, settle down. What do you mean when you say you went behind my back? |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2090 |
I asked her to sign a pre-nup. I would say she didn't take it very well. |
1.3099 |
0.05880 |
71 |
50 |
20 |
1 |
2091 |
I'd like to speak to your best divorce attorney, please. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2092 |
I can't read it, but I'm pretty sure it says she wants a divorce! |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2093 |
Well...I finally told my wife about us. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2094 |
I wouldn’t exactly call them cutting remarks. |
1.3099 |
0.06213 |
71 |
51 |
18 |
2 |
2095 |
I'm tellin' ya, nurse, I'm lookin' in the mirror and all I see is a potted plant. |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2096 |
Yes, it’s definitely a rejection letter. |
1.3099 |
0.06213 |
71 |
51 |
18 |
2 |
2097 |
You're dumping me because I don't show my emotions? |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2098 |
All I said is, “What’s wrong with indulgences,” and then Martin goes off on me. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2099 |
Those divorce papers I thought I'd lost...they just turned up. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2100 |
Remind me again...where did you put the shopping list? |
1.3099 |
0.06213 |
71 |
51 |
18 |
2 |
2101 |
Just because you didn't like the legal agreement I said you had to sign, you didn't have to become a backstabber. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2102 |
Yes, I did receive your demand letter and quite frankly this follow up call is a little much. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2103 |
She served me with divorce papers |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2104 |
No, honey, I didn't see the note you left while I was napping. Where did you leave it? |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2105 |
Good news, Honey. I just received that Whitehouse job offer in writing. |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2106 |
Frankly, I am taking all the backstabbing at work very personally. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2107 |
Does this mean the wedding is off? |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2108 |
Mom, she gave me her terms for the divorce. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2109 |
Well, the divorce is final, but Muriel took it a bit harder than I expected. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2110 |
I'm calling about your new list of demands. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2111 |
Honey, I said I'd be happy to pick up the groceries but you forgot to leave me the list. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2112 |
tell Mon Senior that the Lutherans are at it again |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2113 |
Yes, this is a complaint on how I received the eviction notice. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2114 |
What backstabbing remarks? |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2115 |
You cannot unilaterally revise the terms of our tontine, Gregory. |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2116 |
Remember that list of suggestions I gave to Tom? |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2117 |
If you wanted a divorce, you could have just asked. |
1.3099 |
0.06213 |
71 |
51 |
18 |
2 |
2118 |
Why didn't you just pick up the phone? |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2119 |
" I don't think you understand. It's a little more serious than someone just talking behind my back.... |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2120 |
The magnet on the fridge would have worked just as well. |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2121 |
'Yes, my wife just discovered my roaming charges." |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2122 |
I haven't a clue. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2123 |
Does it count as "serving a summons" if they don't put it in my hands? |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2124 |
The stuck me with the hospital bill. |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2125 |
So you left me and didn't even leave a note. |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2126 |
I'll be late for dinner, the paperwork is killing me. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2127 |
I’m sorry,...where’s the shopping list, again? |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2128 |
No, Leslie doesn't live here any more. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2129 |
Yes, I'd like to report that my wife is missing, she left a note, but I'm going to need help reading it. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2130 |
She's threatening to twist it if I keep the convertible. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2131 |
As my divorce attorney, you should know that my wife served the papers for divorce just now! |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2132 |
I had a feeling you left a note, but I didn’t see it. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2133 |
Yes...she signed them. But the old 'take her to a fancy restaurant to avoid a scene' ploy failed miserably! |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2134 |
I want 2 egg rolls, fried rice and a surgeon. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2135 |
Barb, did you sign the prenup? |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2136 |
She says we need to communicate better. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2137 |
Well no, he didn't like the return we prepared. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2138 |
She had some reservations about the prenup |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2139 |
What about telling me to my face? |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2140 |
Duly noted. I'll put the Oxford comma back in. |
1.3099 |
0.05880 |
71 |
50 |
20 |
1 |
2141 |
Do you remember when you said that being president of the co-op board is a thankless position? |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2142 |
... and that's how she served the divorce papers... |
1.3099 |
0.07396 |
71 |
55 |
10 |
6 |
2143 |
Thanks for calling, it never occurred to me to look there |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2144 |
Yes, I got your summons to appear. |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2145 |
..and I also don't appreciate your tone. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2146 |
Thought you should know I just got served by my ex. |
1.3099 |
0.05880 |
71 |
50 |
20 |
1 |
2147 |
Got your note - mind if we chat? |
1.3099 |
0.06529 |
71 |
52 |
16 |
3 |
2148 |
I'm calling to report a summons turned violent. |
1.3099 |
0.07118 |
71 |
54 |
12 |
5 |
2149 |
I thought our divorce was supposed to be painless. |
1.3099 |
0.07921 |
71 |
57 |
6 |
8 |
2150 |
I've been stabbed in the back before, my friends. |
1.3099 |
0.06830 |
71 |
53 |
14 |
4 |
2151 |
Yes. She gave me the divorce papers. |
1.3099 |
0.06213 |
71 |
51 |
18 |
2 |
2152 |
You know what hurts the most? No one told me I had a prenup stuck to my back all day. |
1.3077 |
0.06903 |
78 |
60 |
12 |
6 |
2153 |
What gave you the idea I've ignored your memos? |
1.3067 |
0.06569 |
75 |
56 |
15 |
4 |
2154 |
Yes, my back pain is back again and I can't find my insurance papers. |
1.3056 |
0.06748 |
72 |
54 |
14 |
4 |
2155 |
Hi, I would like to order some Post It notes for my wife, the kind with the sticky paste on the edge |
1.3056 |
0.07568 |
72 |
57 |
8 |
7 |
2156 |
I've been subpoenaed to testify before congress. |
1.3056 |
0.07305 |
72 |
56 |
10 |
6 |
2157 |
I know Dad. I’ve tried that. But, I still feel like I’m a target. |
1.3056 |
0.06452 |
72 |
53 |
16 |
3 |
2158 |
It seems my wife is ready for a Marital Reformation. |
1.3056 |
0.06748 |
72 |
54 |
14 |
4 |
2159 |
Yes, I'm seriously thinking about getting out of politics. |
1.3056 |
0.07032 |
72 |
55 |
12 |
5 |
2160 |
It's like a stab in the back |
1.3056 |
0.06452 |
72 |
53 |
16 |
3 |
2161 |
I received the divorce papers from your attorney today. |
1.3056 |
0.05814 |
72 |
51 |
20 |
1 |
2162 |
It seems I agreed to compulsory arbitration |
1.3056 |
0.06452 |
72 |
53 |
16 |
3 |
2163 |
My new job as poster boy is going well |
1.3056 |
0.07032 |
72 |
55 |
12 |
5 |
2164 |
My estranged wife, the circus knife-thrower, finally signed the divorce papers. |
1.3056 |
0.06452 |
72 |
53 |
16 |
3 |
2165 |
Yes, Mr. TRUMP, I have received your message. Same as Gov. Christie and AG Sessions. |
1.3056 |
0.07032 |
72 |
55 |
12 |
5 |
2166 |
Darling, where exactly did you put that letter from my mother? |
1.3056 |
0.06452 |
72 |
53 |
16 |
3 |
2167 |
I'd like to revise my opinion on Manuscript 5754: Idiot's Guide to Getting Published |
1.3056 |
0.07305 |
72 |
56 |
10 |
6 |
2168 |
My wife served me with divorce papers. |
1.3056 |
0.06452 |
72 |
53 |
16 |
3 |
2169 |
My wife left me, but I don't know why. |
1.3056 |
0.07032 |
72 |
55 |
12 |
5 |
2170 |
I haven't read it, but I'm sure it's not good. |
1.3056 |
0.06452 |
72 |
53 |
16 |
3 |
2171 |
We've just been served. |
1.3056 |
0.07032 |
72 |
55 |
12 |
5 |
2172 |
My boss sent me home with a note today. |
1.3056 |
0.07032 |
72 |
55 |
12 |
5 |
2173 |
Yes, I too feel betrayed by the news! |
1.3056 |
0.07032 |
72 |
55 |
12 |
5 |
2174 |
Yes, I received your message. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2175 |
'Is it an emergency?' "I don't know, I can't read it?" |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2176 |
I really think I got the job this time. It felt like I nailed it. |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2177 |
This Thanksgiving your mother has a few rules for the conversations we can have at the dinner table. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2178 |
Loud and clear, Bonnie. You get the ficus and the juicer. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2179 |
Don't ignore his emails. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2180 |
"What note"? |
1.3043 |
0.07809 |
69 |
55 |
7 |
7 |
2181 |
I haven't gotten around to reading it, but she didn't bother with a process server. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2182 |
I'm requesting the delivery to put on my doorstep from now on. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2183 |
Honey, I can't find the list you left me... |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2184 |
Yes. I'm quite sure this is my last Will |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2185 |
I would say it's more like a honey die list. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2186 |
Hello 911? I'd like to report a Fake News attack! |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2187 |
Yes, I definitely got your point as I was leaving. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2188 |
Well, next time write it backwards, so at least I can read it in the mirror. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2189 |
So she gives me the divorce papers but really, how does she expect me to sign them? |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2190 |
Okay, okay, you told me not to marry a Lutheran! |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2191 |
Yes, as a matter of fact, she personally delivered the property settlement papers. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2192 |
Her therapist is a strict Lutheran. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2193 |
I told him there was no way they were going to pin it on me! |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2194 |
The Pre-nup ? Not a good idea. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2195 |
Do you think I should watch my back? |
1.3043 |
0.05950 |
69 |
49 |
19 |
1 |
2196 |
I'm overreacting?? Well, I'm sorry, but that's exactly the way these divorce papers make feel. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2197 |
She said that the five hundredth anniversary of Martin Luther's Reformation gave her the idea. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2198 |
No, I really didn't see that coming. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2199 |
You said to call as soon as I got the divorce papers. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2200 |
This is your editor returning your message. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2201 |
Well dear, tell your lawyer that I'm having a problem reading the fine print... |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2202 |
Yes they have a list of demands and Yes I think they mean business. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2203 |
I think I got the point |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2204 |
I would like to report a Coup! |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2205 |
My wife just delivered our divorce papers. |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2206 |
I'm dealing with more Fake News than you can throw a knife at, really. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2207 |
Is it because I still depend on a land line? |
1.3043 |
0.05950 |
69 |
49 |
19 |
1 |
2208 |
I'd like to leave a voice message for Marcus Junius Brutus please. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2209 |
These latest demands from her feel like a knife in the back. |
1.3043 |
0.05950 |
69 |
49 |
19 |
1 |
2210 |
Oh, and by the way, please stop sticking your menus everywhere. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2211 |
I think she means it this time - she won't answer my emails. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2212 |
Can I call you back? Someone just left me a message. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2213 |
Hi, I’m calling to return all 95 of your messages |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2214 |
Well, she did point out that she won't miss me. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2215 |
I need an ambulance and a lawyer. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2216 |
...and on top of everything else, she's a Lutheran now, too. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2217 |
Yes, I'd like to make a complaint about how I'm being served. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2218 |
Boy, am I ever sorry I voted for Trump! |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2219 |
The fake news is starting to feel real to me. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2220 |
Was she miffed? Yes, I think we can say "miffed" would apply. |
1.3043 |
0.05950 |
69 |
49 |
19 |
1 |
2221 |
I'd like to speak with Martin Luther's supervisor please. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2222 |
I have to say that your last letter has really stuck with me. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2223 |
Just a pain in my back and a lost chores list. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2224 |
The bed in this suite is very uncomfortable. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2225 |
Ellen walked out on me again. This time she didn’t even leave a note. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2226 |
Yes, Doctor, my wife is a Lutheran. Why do you ask? |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2227 |
No, Mom, she didn't sign the prenup. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2228 |
Hello, AT&T, yes, I think I'd like to change my Contract. Do you have something a little less painful? |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2229 |
Sure, I'll give you the shirt off my back. Over my dead body. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2230 |
I have a complaint about the newspaper delivery person. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2231 |
While I'm not sure I can sign it, their lawyer did make a compelling point. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2232 |
I signed a couple bad contracts and now they won't get off my back! |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2233 |
Ok.. you made your point... |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2234 |
Hold on, I just received a text from my smartknife. |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2235 |
You’re not going to stick me with another two year contract again, are you? |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2236 |
No, I haven't seen the divorce papers yet. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2237 |
He was supposed to nail it to the door, right? |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2238 |
911? You see, I had just finished explaining the phrase stick it to me to my toddler... |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2239 |
They just delivered our middle income tax reform package |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2240 |
Yes? Hello? I'd like to complain about the newspaper delivery. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2241 |
I feel like there’s something I’m supposed to remember. |
1.3043 |
0.05580 |
69 |
48 |
21 |
0 |
2242 |
That’s not the half of it; they charged me with carrying a concealed weapon. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2243 |
No, she didn't tell me in so many words. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2244 |
Honey, have you seen my last will and testament? |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2245 |
'My back is killing me!' is not a pre-existing condition. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2246 |
Take a stab at the reviews in the back. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2247 |
Hello, Mr Luther, this is Bob from 1517. Yes, your son Marty has been at it again. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2248 |
Yes, honey, I ordered more post-it's. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2249 |
Apparently, the 'terms and conditions' state that I can only refer to them as "the assailant". |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2250 |
I know you were raised as a Lutheran, but couldn't you just stuck your complaints on the door. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2251 |
Call me old school but a contract must cut both ways. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2252 |
Tell me again where you put the shopping list. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2253 |
I specifically told the man, "Post No Bills." |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2254 |
I’m finding it difficult to read the separation agreement. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2255 |
Hello, Mrs. Luther? Yes, I'm calling about your son Martin. |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2256 |
I need an ambulance and a lawyer. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2257 |
Frankly, she didn't handle the divorce papers very well. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2258 |
Yes, Martin, I got your point. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2259 |
We weren't exactly happy, but I can't say I saw this coming. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2260 |
No, I’ve been extremely served. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2261 |
It's not the fine print that gets you. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2262 |
Where did you say you put the divorce papers? |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2263 |
Am I feeling listless? No, not exactly. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2264 |
Just to be clear - you have practiced pirate law before? |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2265 |
Next time just hand them to me. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2266 |
I got your letter and it really hurt. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2267 |
All I heard when she went out the door was “and here’s your damn pre-nup”. It felt like a stab in the back. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2268 |
No, I haven't actually seen the note...but I'm fairly certain she wants a divorce. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2269 |
Well their initial offer was acceptable... but they added an amendment I can't refuse. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2270 |
What do you mean this is just the first draft? |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2271 |
Balding...German accent...accomplice called him Luther. |
1.3043 |
0.08077 |
69 |
56 |
5 |
8 |
2272 |
No, their forms are NOT a pain in the neck. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2273 |
I'm not sure I'd call the divorce, "amicable". |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2274 |
I'm sorry, honey, I didn't see it. But I feel all of your concerns, especially the one about my not putting the toilette seat back down. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2275 |
Hello, Find A Mate, I want my money back. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2276 |
Hello Martin Luther? I think there's been a mistake. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2277 |
9-1-1, I've been manifestoed. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2278 |
I think I'm finally ready to give email a try. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2279 |
Your attorney just served me with divorce papers...would he happen to be Lutheran, per chance? |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2280 |
My wife gets less and less subtle each year about what she wants for her birthday. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2281 |
I've looked everywhere for the shopping list. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2282 |
No, I asked for the MLK impersonator, not the Martin Luther impersonator. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2283 |
'I'm sorry but I have to cancel the movers, Iv'e been stuck with my old rental agreement for another year." |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2284 |
Seriously. I won't forget. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2285 |
The IRS is really getting tough with failure to pay on time! |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2286 |
Yes, I know I'm stuck with the fine print! |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2287 |
The Mrs. just served me with those divorce papers |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2288 |
The food was good, but I wasn't nuts about how they presented the check. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2289 |
"Yes, I got your note, I guess things haven't changed"!? |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2290 |
Yea, I got it. Did you ever try using PostIt notes? |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2291 |
Saul, I'm being sued by Brutus, too. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2292 |
Can you call me back? |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2293 |
Sorry, not tonight . . . I’ve got 95 theses to read. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2294 |
9-1-1? "I'd like to report that some idiot thinks backstabbing is covered by the 2nd Amendment. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2295 |
Next time email will be just fine. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2296 |
I got your first note. Should I expect any follow-up? |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2297 |
I vaguely recall you mentioning a list while I was watching the game. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2298 |
A simple pink slip would have been sufficient. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2299 |
Yes, I want a divorce too, but how do you expect me to sign the damn thing. |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2300 |
I think she really means it this time. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2301 |
It's actually quite refreshing considering all of the front stabbers we've had this year. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2302 |
I'm beginning to think she was serious about the divorce. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2303 |
She left a note. It feels like a stab in the back. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2304 |
Et tu, Doris. You couldn't just leave an ordinary Dear John letter, like anyone else, could you? |
1.3043 |
0.07809 |
69 |
55 |
7 |
7 |
2305 |
He said something about being related to Martin Luther. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2306 |
The insurance company said they would be on my side, not on my back. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2307 |
Yes, I am a middle class taxpayer. |
1.3043 |
0.07809 |
69 |
55 |
7 |
7 |
2308 |
The hospital said I would experience some back pain when bill came. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2309 |
I sorry Mr. President I can't sign this well-worded resignation but it's definitely not because I don't want to. |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2310 |
I am calling to report attempted reformation. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2311 |
Your aggressive advertising for the Caesar salad has me intrigued. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2312 |
She wants a divorce. |
1.3043 |
0.06942 |
69 |
52 |
13 |
4 |
2313 |
My God Doctor, my wife's Lasik surgery has failed. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2314 |
Yes Doctor... My wife has her Martin Luther delusion back. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2315 |
Well no, I haven’t read it yet, but it SEEMS like an emergency ... |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2316 |
I have a few problems with your chapter about our marriage. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2317 |
No, I didn't get your message. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2318 |
Yes, I get the point. The check is in the mail. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2319 |
9-1-1, my name is William. Can you please send someone? My wife just tried to execute her will. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2320 |
What message? |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2321 |
Wikileaks evidently has a new way to release information. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2322 |
Tell my attorney I’m calling about the prenup. |
1.3043 |
0.07242 |
69 |
53 |
11 |
5 |
2323 |
No, I don't think to say "getting this letter is a stab in the back" is exaggerating. |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2324 |
Yes, she delivered the divorce papers herself. |
1.3043 |
0.05950 |
69 |
49 |
19 |
1 |
2325 |
Hello, Martin? Martin Luther? |
1.3043 |
0.07531 |
69 |
54 |
9 |
6 |
2326 |
Hello. I would like to answer, what is black and white and red all over. |
1.3043 |
0.06298 |
69 |
50 |
17 |
2 |
2327 |
Isn't it customary for a process server and not your client to deliver the divorce papers? |
1.3043 |
0.06627 |
69 |
51 |
15 |
3 |
2328 |
Hello, Mary? Please leave your message on the machine next time. |
1.3000 |
0.06856 |
70 |
53 |
13 |
4 |
2329 |
I asked Marge to put it in writing. |
1.3000 |
0.06222 |
70 |
51 |
17 |
2 |
2330 |
Not really an ache...More of a sharp manifesto. |
1.3000 |
0.07973 |
70 |
57 |
5 |
8 |
2331 |
I can't find the list you left and the pain in my back still hasn't gone away. |
1.3000 |
0.07151 |
70 |
54 |
11 |
5 |
2332 |
Yeah, the guy playing Luther took it really seriously. |
1.3000 |
0.07151 |
70 |
54 |
11 |
5 |
2333 |
I haven't had a chance to read the fine print. |
1.3000 |
0.06856 |
70 |
53 |
13 |
4 |
2334 |
I still haven't received your list of demands. |
1.3000 |
0.06547 |
70 |
52 |
15 |
3 |
2335 |
It doesn't feel like a subpoena. I think it's the Ten Commandments. |
1.3000 |
0.07435 |
70 |
55 |
9 |
6 |
2336 |
Just a bit of advice ...."watch your back." |
1.3000 |
0.06856 |
70 |
53 |
13 |
4 |
2337 |
I don't know. It could be a honey-do list or divorce papers. |
1.3000 |
0.06547 |
70 |
52 |
15 |
3 |
2338 |
I just got your text. |
1.3000 |
0.07151 |
70 |
54 |
11 |
5 |
2339 |
No, the reconciliation isn’t going well. |
1.3000 |
0.06222 |
70 |
51 |
17 |
2 |
2340 |
I can't today Phil; my wife has given me a honey-do list |
1.3000 |
0.06856 |
70 |
53 |
13 |
4 |
2341 |
Yes, it's a fair contract, but there's one sticking point. |
1.3000 |
0.05880 |
70 |
50 |
19 |
1 |
2342 |
Yes, I got her sign the pre-nup. |
1.3000 |
0.06856 |
70 |
53 |
13 |
4 |
2343 |
So she found out she only gets the house... |
1.3000 |
0.07435 |
70 |
55 |
9 |
6 |
2344 |
Yes. I found the grocery list, Helen. |
1.3000 |
0.07435 |
70 |
55 |
9 |
6 |
2345 |
Honey, remember that argument I had with the mail carrier? |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2346 |
I can't remember exactly, I stuck it somewhere. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2347 |
I don't think she appreciated that article on self-improvement I gave her. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2348 |
Okay, so you didn't like the script. You could have just mailed it back. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2349 |
Let's just say I'm uncomfortable with the list of demands that they left behind my back. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2350 |
I can't play cards tonight, I'm stuck with a 'to do' list |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2351 |
I received your final notice. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2352 |
9-1-1? Yes, I'd like to report that I received an attack ad through the mail. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2353 |
I just received my new policy and I have a question about the deductible. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2354 |
I have the answer to our law suit. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2355 |
Well I did tell her I didn't like text messages. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2356 |
For once could you just leave the shopping list someplace I can find it? |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2357 |
Maybe you're right, Bob. I should have seen this coming. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2358 |
As soon as I find a mirror--and master right to left , you'll get your darn report. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2359 |
Yes, I received it, but I'm having a hard time reading it. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2360 |
I am sorry Pamela, but that is no the way to serve a divorce notice |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2361 |
I received the documents from my wife. I don't believe that this will be settled amicably. |
1.2985 |
0.06021 |
67 |
48 |
18 |
1 |
2362 |
I know I'm not supposed to call you, but I can't find our divorce papers. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2363 |
It was a stab and run, but they left all their insurance information. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2364 |
Sorry, I can't take any more messages. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2365 |
Yes, Monsignor, we have evidence that Martin Luther is back. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2366 |
Hello, I am just calling to confirm that I have received your message |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2367 |
The contract has one big sticking point. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2368 |
I got your point. I prefer Twitter. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2369 |
Yeah, my wife just had divorce papers served. Can you send an ambulance? |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2370 |
Is that one-bedroom still available? |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2371 |
hello, 911? yes, i can hold. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2372 |
Honey....where did you put the shopping list?? |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2373 |
Is that your final offer? |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2374 |
Yes, I think that I need a divorce attorney. My wife just nailed 95 thesis to my back. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2375 |
Hi honey! Yes, the paperwork is right where you left it |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2376 |
Yes, she left a note but I haven't read it yet. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2377 |
Sticky notes shouldn't hurt, should they? |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2378 |
...yes, I believe I’ve been served. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2379 |
Honey, I just received a copy of the Republican tax reform bill. |
1.2985 |
0.07962 |
67 |
54 |
6 |
7 |
2380 |
The bill from the chiropractor came in. It didn’t make a difference. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2381 |
So I said, "Let's just take a stab at working out our divorce settlement," and she . . . |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2382 |
Yes, Mr President, I feel I'm well qualified. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2383 |
My wife just served me with divorce papers. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2384 |
No, Luther is not here and yes, he did leave his grievances with me. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2385 |
If you don't pick up the phone I'm dead. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2386 |
Hi, it's me. I got your message. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2387 |
Ma? Have you converted my bedroom yet? |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2388 |
I haven't seen it. Was it a text or an email? |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2389 |
Oh, and I suppose because I didn't read your letter that now I'm "unfeeling." |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2390 |
Yes, I'm aware my account is overdue. Your representative was just here to inquire about it. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2391 |
Well does the doctor have any time free next week? |
1.2985 |
0.06021 |
67 |
48 |
18 |
1 |
2392 |
I’ve been having trouble sleeping on my back. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2393 |
The new tax forms arrived. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2394 |
My Congressman just gave me a copy of the new tax bill. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2395 |
I need to speak to my attorney, please. It appears my wife has posted 95 reasons why she wants a divorce. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2396 |
Hold on. I think I just got served with divorce papers. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2397 |
Yes, I got the invitation to my funeral. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2398 |
Yes, I saw the doctor about my back pain...he said it's too long to explain... |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2399 |
I haven't read it but I'm assuming she wants a divorce. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2400 |
She really drove in the knife with these divorce papers. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2401 |
Yes, I know we agreed the title would be "Death Surprised Me" and I feel the ending is becoming clearer. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2402 |
This is clearly not what I expected when I suggested he took a stab at his homework. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2403 |
Protestant. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2404 |
I Agree |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2405 |
She said she was glad to see the back of me. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2406 |
Now, we both know nobody enjoys a good "KICK ME" sign more than I do, but I wish you'd found another way to attach it. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2407 |
She's really sore. But reading her complaint in the bathroom mirror, I'd say she's got it all backwards. |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2408 |
She really stuck it to me. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2409 |
It's always the fine print that gets you. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2410 |
The backbiting has stopped. Now it's escalated to backstabbing ultimatums! |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2411 |
She took the divorce papers surprisingly well. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2412 |
I ran into Martin Luther today. |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2413 |
No, literally. He literally stabbed me in the back, through a copy of the Constitution for some reason. |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2414 |
There's a lot of backstabbing in the print media. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2415 |
I think someone has put out a contract on me. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2416 |
Yes, she left me the divorce papers to sign. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2417 |
No . . . it's a little higher up and more to the left . . . |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2418 |
Where did you put my honey-do list? |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2419 |
No officer, I don't know the subject of the document. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2420 |
The Drug Facts info for my painkiller - honey, where'd you stick that? |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2421 |
...then he mumbled something about indulgences and asked me if I had any Pepto. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2422 |
Tell the president that I got his return tweet! |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2423 |
Tell him that all submissions must go through proper channels. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2424 |
Yes, she served the divorce papers today. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2425 |
No, I cannot read what is on the paper. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2426 |
No, I'm tired of reading her notes in the mirror. I need you over here. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2427 |
Did you leave it somewhere I could find it? |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2428 |
Today’s news is killing me. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2429 |
Given how the divorce papers were served, Emily, I guess there's no chance of reconciliation. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2430 |
Couldn't have just sent an email? |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2431 |
I'm pretty sure she stuck me with they're divorce papers. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2432 |
Yes, I need to hire a new Administrative Assistant. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2433 |
Just because I clicked "agree" instead of reading the Terms and Conditions, doesn't mean that it's okay for you to stab me in the back. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2434 |
Honey, have you seen the grocery list? |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2435 |
And we agree that when I take it out it becomes a legally enforceable blood pact. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2436 |
It's apparently true... I'd make a better door than a window. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2437 |
She ALWAYS has the last word. |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2438 |
Honey, I can't find your to-do list. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2439 |
She finally signed the divorce papers but I'm left with this stabbing pain. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2440 |
My troubles are behind me. |
1.2985 |
0.06021 |
67 |
48 |
18 |
1 |
2441 |
Where did you leave the divorce papers you want me to sign? |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2442 |
I don't have to read it to know she was mad as hell. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2443 |
I have to say again, Mildred, naming him Martin Luther was a really bad idea. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2444 |
I have this nagging feeling they didn't like our offer. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2445 |
I think it's a list of her complaints. |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2446 |
My "To Do List" is killing me. |
1.2985 |
0.05633 |
67 |
47 |
20 |
0 |
2447 |
I'd prefer not to take another message. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2448 |
Yes, sir.....I see sir. I agree it may have gone better with you here......no, I am quite certain I know the precise moment that contract negations broke down... |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2449 |
Wait a minute, she left a note around here somewhere. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2450 |
It's about the cable bill, I need to change delivery. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2451 |
Yes, my wife’s lawyer just delivered a copy of the divorce papers. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2452 |
HR Department please, it's about the termination letter. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2453 |
And then the second my back was turned... |
1.2985 |
0.06021 |
67 |
48 |
18 |
1 |
2454 |
I don’t know. Who do you think yours is from? |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2455 |
No, officer. I don't mean it as a metaphor! |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2456 |
I haven't yet read the accompanying letter, but is it reasonable to surmise that I won't be getting a second interview? |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2457 |
Well Mom, she finally did it -- She served me with divorce papers... |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2458 |
So, long story short, we’re going through quite the Reformation in our relationship right now. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2459 |
My wife just got back to me. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2460 |
If you don't want to sign the prenup, you just should have said so! |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2461 |
A poison pen letter would have been enough... |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2462 |
My editor wants me to take another stab at it. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2463 |
Thanks for the heads up, but my wife just delivered the divorce papers. . |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2464 |
Her divorce lawyer is evidently Lutheran. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2465 |
Gotta go. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2466 |
I have a problem with your user agreement. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2467 |
Honey, I can't find your shopping list anywhere! |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2468 |
So I can assume you won't be coming home tonight dear? |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2469 |
The proposal was rejected. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2470 |
Yes, Luther. L-U-T-H-E-R. |
1.2985 |
0.07962 |
67 |
54 |
6 |
7 |
2471 |
She gave me some divorce papers so I think she's on to us. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2472 |
Hello, New Yorker magazine, I have a copy of the latest GOP tax bill. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2473 |
No, not tattoo removal. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2474 |
Well, I think they're pretty strict Terms and Conditions. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2475 |
Yes, I'm certain they are divorce papers. |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2476 |
Et tu, Telemarketer? |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2477 |
She's gone, and something tells me she won't be back. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2478 |
In the future, I'd really appreciate it if you just left me a voicemail message. |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2479 |
Well, the chef begs to differ and I think he makes a very, strong point. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2480 |
``I can't find the prenup anywhere.'' |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2481 |
I'd like to report a hate rhyme |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2482 |
Honey, I'm telling you, I've looked everywhere and I can't find this "To Do List" you say you've left for me. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2483 |
Yes, and I don’t think she’s happy with it. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2484 |
It's that age old dilemma .. I never know whether to take it figuratively .. or literally. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2485 |
Yes, I have a complaint about your delivery service. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2486 |
Yes, I suppose it is ironic that she called the prenup a betrayal. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2487 |
I would be interested, but I really can't pull out of my current contract. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2488 |
Why, yes -- I did get the divorce papers from your lawyer today. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2489 |
I don't like being a target of fake news. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2490 |
I don’t know why she keeps saying I’m clueless about feelings |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2491 |
I know you have a long list of complaints but if you don't come back, who's going to get the stain out of my shirt? |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2492 |
She left some divorce papers for me to sign. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2493 |
No. I can't read to you. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2494 |
Well , Detective, it started off with a simple "kick me"... |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2495 |
Except for a few, minor hitches, she took the news rather well. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2496 |
No, your daughter has been expressing her feelings quite clearly lately |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2497 |
Yes sir, I did receive the notice about cutbacks. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2498 |
Rejecting my submission?! Talk about adding insult to injury! |
1.2985 |
0.06021 |
67 |
48 |
18 |
1 |
2499 |
She left me a message, but I can't read it. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2500 |
Your wife isn't ready to settle yet. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2501 |
When I asked for a pointed reply, this wasn't what I expected. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2502 |
Is it too late to cancel that reservation? |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2503 |
My wife doesn't want to remortgage. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2504 |
We will give fair consideration to your application, but you will not be given any preference over those who submitted electronically. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2505 |
Yeah, I think his name is Luther. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2506 |
This tax plan feels like a knife in the back, but they say it will trickle down in our pockets |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2507 |
Sorry, I don't know where my wife put it. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2508 |
I would like to cancel my subscription to Threats Weekly. |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2509 |
My wife thinks she's the next Martin Luther. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2510 |
Luther, the company's policy is to post your ideas on the message board. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2511 |
Yes dear I got your shopping list. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2512 |
Trolling on Facebook would suffice |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2513 |
It’s what we get for raising him Lutheran. |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2514 |
Are you sure? Because billing just told me to talk to you about this |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2515 |
I've been reminded to make a reservation for Shakespeare's Julius Cesar |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2516 |
Sorry honey, but I can't really find your shopping list. Where is it? |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2517 |
"She served the papers right after the pot roast". |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2518 |
Nana finally signed her will |
1.2985 |
0.06385 |
67 |
49 |
16 |
2 |
2519 |
We are processing back orders now. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2520 |
Hello Stan? Yes, I just got it, and no, Claire delivered it herself. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2521 |
Yes, I got the point of your message. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2522 |
No I didn't see your note. Where did you leave it? |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2523 |
Divorce papers? What divorce papers? |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2524 |
She keeps complaining that I'm impenetrable. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2525 |
A petition demanding my resignation? No, haven't seen a thing. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2526 |
This bill is a stab in the back. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2527 |
Honey, I can't find the divorce papers |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2528 |
Work is going about the same as always. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2529 |
I've just been served the divorce papers. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2530 |
Mr Luther, please? |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2531 |
Are you sure you remembered to tip the paperboy? |
1.2985 |
0.07672 |
67 |
53 |
8 |
6 |
2532 |
Can I help you?" "Yes you can". "How do I get the IRS off my back?". "And please do not transfer me again! |
1.2985 |
0.07962 |
67 |
54 |
6 |
7 |
2533 |
Yes, hello, you said to call you back after I was served with the divorce papers. |
1.2985 |
0.07372 |
67 |
52 |
10 |
5 |
2534 |
Yes, she just served me with divorce papers, but I've been unable to read them. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2535 |
I’m telling you, all I said was remove the crust and cut it into quarters! |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2536 |
I got your pointed message. |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2537 |
I'm sure it doesn't say "Kick Me". |
1.2985 |
0.06730 |
67 |
50 |
14 |
3 |
2538 |
Hi Gene, we're not coming to counseling this week. For the first time in a long while I saw my wife and got a little tingle in my spine so I'm going to see where this goes. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2539 |
I wish to report an illegal posting of a political campaign poster. |
1.2985 |
0.07058 |
67 |
51 |
12 |
4 |
2540 |
Do you give credit for back payment? |
1.2969 |
0.06929 |
64 |
48 |
13 |
3 |
2541 |
Where did you find that divorce lawyer? |
1.2958 |
0.06467 |
71 |
53 |
15 |
3 |
2542 |
Yes, I just got s copy of the new GOP tax plan! |
1.2958 |
0.06771 |
71 |
54 |
13 |
4 |
2543 |
Are you serious about wanting to break up? |
1.2958 |
0.06771 |
71 |
54 |
13 |
4 |
2544 |
This is what gives class action lawsuits a bad name. |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2545 |
I haven't read it yet, but it still hurts. |
1.2941 |
0.06645 |
68 |
51 |
14 |
3 |
2546 |
Well, officer, the knife is real, although the news may be fake. |
1.2941 |
0.06645 |
68 |
51 |
14 |
3 |
2547 |
Fine, I'll hold. |
1.2941 |
0.06968 |
68 |
52 |
12 |
4 |
2548 |
Meryl served me the papers today so I guess she's serious about going through with the divorce. |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2549 |
Yes, I received the letter from your attorney. I just haven't gotten around to it yet. |
1.2941 |
0.06645 |
68 |
51 |
14 |
3 |
2550 |
She did it. She finally signed the divorced papers. |
1.2941 |
0.07276 |
68 |
53 |
10 |
5 |
2551 |
Front desk...Couldn't you have just slipped the bill under the door? |
1.2941 |
0.06645 |
68 |
51 |
14 |
3 |
2552 |
Yes, she just had me served with the divorce papers. |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2553 |
Honey, I just located the Honeydo list. |
1.2941 |
0.06645 |
68 |
51 |
14 |
3 |
2554 |
Dr. Luther, even though it is the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, I would appreciate it if you used more traditional methods of communication. |
1.2941 |
0.06968 |
68 |
52 |
12 |
4 |
2555 |
Yes, you can say that I have been served. |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2556 |
I can't believe she took her final stab at filing for divorce today! |
1.2941 |
0.07276 |
68 |
53 |
10 |
5 |
2557 |
Yes, dear. I got your honey do list. |
1.2941 |
0.07276 |
68 |
53 |
10 |
5 |
2558 |
Yes, my last name is Wittenberg, but you're delivery is 500 years late... |
1.2941 |
0.07276 |
68 |
53 |
10 |
5 |
2559 |
I tried to tell her that I was only the messenger! |
1.2941 |
0.06968 |
68 |
52 |
12 |
4 |
2560 |
We are not currently interested in a romantic getaway. |
1.2941 |
0.07276 |
68 |
53 |
10 |
5 |
2561 |
Well, I still haven't read it, but now I know where he was coming from. |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2562 |
It only hurts when I laugh. |
1.2941 |
0.07276 |
68 |
53 |
10 |
5 |
2563 |
Honey, do you remember where you put the dagger remover? |
1.2941 |
0.06968 |
68 |
52 |
12 |
4 |
2564 |
Just a hunch, but I think Bob Mueller wants to ask me some questions. |
1.2941 |
0.06968 |
68 |
52 |
12 |
4 |
2565 |
I know, but still, I never received the email confirmation. |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2566 |
Yes, the President just hired me personally. |
1.2941 |
0.06645 |
68 |
51 |
14 |
3 |
2567 |
Ironically its a paring knife. |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2568 |
Yes, I'm sure I'd rather get the paper online. |
1.2941 |
0.07276 |
68 |
53 |
10 |
5 |
2569 |
My wife has some questions about the will you drafted. |
1.2941 |
0.06645 |
68 |
51 |
14 |
3 |
2570 |
Frank, can we move our tee-time? My honey-do list is a bit longer than I thought. |
1.2941 |
0.07571 |
68 |
54 |
8 |
6 |
2571 |
Please tell Mr. Luther that his theses was delivered to the wrong address. |
1.2941 |
0.07571 |
68 |
54 |
8 |
6 |
2572 |
Yeah, the tax plan is a bust, but at least GOP backstabs are covered under the ACA. |
1.2941 |
0.06645 |
68 |
51 |
14 |
3 |
2573 |
Don't shoot the messenger? |
1.2941 |
0.06645 |
68 |
51 |
14 |
3 |
2574 |
I know you think I'm an unfeeling ,insensitive, cold shoulder kind of guy,but can we get together at the ER and talk about it? |
1.2941 |
0.06968 |
68 |
52 |
12 |
4 |
2575 |
Remember how in the last session, you told her she needed express herself unreservedly? |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2576 |
Nah, she always does this whenever I forget her birthday. |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2577 |
I think we overplayed our hand a bit with that ultimatum. |
1.2941 |
0.06968 |
68 |
52 |
12 |
4 |
2578 |
Apparently the new generation of internet trolls is neither anonymous nor terse. |
1.2941 |
0.06968 |
68 |
52 |
12 |
4 |
2579 |
I’m getting a painful feeling your serious about this divorce. |
1.2941 |
0.07276 |
68 |
53 |
10 |
5 |
2580 |
I forgot another anniversary. |
1.2941 |
0.06306 |
68 |
50 |
16 |
2 |
2581 |
Martin? You just missed him. |
1.2941 |
0.07571 |
68 |
54 |
8 |
6 |
2582 |
This is your idea of amicable? |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2583 |
Spencer is in his Martin Luther phase. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2584 |
No I didn't misdial 911. She literally filed me with divorce papers behind my back. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2585 |
I know, Reggie, but only exceptional MBA students in the management curriculum learn this after only two weeks. Impressive. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2586 |
Sorry to be so annoying, but I have a sharp pain in my back - so I won't make it to work. I have a note from my therapist. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2587 |
I'd say it's time to take her concerns more seriously. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2588 |
The stabbing pain is my body sending me a message? I don't see it. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2589 |
No Evelyn, I haven't gotten around to reading your list of demands yet. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2590 |
Hello 911? I've been stabbed in the back again. Yes, I work in advertising. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2591 |
Get off my back! |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2592 |
I think I have been served with divorce papers. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2593 |
I just got sued by my back-stabbing partner. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2594 |
I think I have had it with being Attorney General. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2595 |
I think the divorce attorney came by today. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2596 |
Well, it's a little skin off my back. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2597 |
Brutus no longer lives here. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2598 |
Apparently there are 99 of them. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2599 |
She told me she has my back. |
1.2923 |
0.07821 |
65 |
52 |
7 |
6 |
2600 |
All that talk about a kinder and gentler IRS? Not so much. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2601 |
Honestly, I’m feeling rather upbeat now that I’ve put all that hate mail behind me. |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2602 |
I'd like to report a complaint regarding my delivery. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2603 |
Yes so the divorce is final. Signatures have dried. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2604 |
Yes, I got the message, but I can't read it. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2605 |
"Hi mom, just keeping you up to date, I received my divorce papers today"! |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2606 |
Ok, I get the message |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2607 |
Yes, I received the message. |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2608 |
Yes, Google? I'm calling to complain about your new service, 'DirkMail.' |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2609 |
The column you wrote was quite sharp. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2610 |
Is your grocery store still open? My wife has a list of items she wanted me to pick up. |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2611 |
She is definitely serious. I haven't been able to read them yet, but she says they are non-negotiable . |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2612 |
It's sort of a sharp, stabbing pain. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2613 |
She made her point. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2614 |
I’m taking notes. |
1.2923 |
0.05685 |
65 |
46 |
19 |
0 |
2615 |
They said thats all behind me now. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2616 |
How do I know he wants a divorce? I just... have a feeling. |
1.2923 |
0.07821 |
65 |
52 |
7 |
6 |
2617 |
Ok, I'll call you when the phone company gets off my back. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2618 |
We have spirited religious debates. I’m Catholic and Linda’s Lutheran. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2619 |
Honey, where did you say you put that to-do list you left for me? |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2620 |
Hold on. I think my wife is trying to tell me something. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2621 |
Her mother just delivered the divorce papers. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2622 |
I got your note. What's up? |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2623 |
Hello 911? My son seems to be in a Martin Luther phase. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2624 |
I need your help with a Post It Note my wife left me. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2625 |
I realize I complained about your food once, but I would still prefer to receive the weekly menu by fax only. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2626 |
We've been working on our costumes for the Reformation 500 Anniversary party. Cathy is going as Martin Luther--I'm trying on the 95 theses right now. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2627 |
I've got a funny feeling she knows something's up. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2628 |
I'm not sure we should still use the same attorney. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2629 |
That article was a real stab in the back. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2630 |
Got your message. You seem to be unhappy with my counteroffer on alimony. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2631 |
Yes, Mr. Luther was here, and left his theses. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2632 |
I never imagined that being served the divorce papers would hurt this much. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2633 |
I don't know if it's in all caps. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2634 |
No, I don't know why yet, but I'm pretty sure it's over. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2635 |
I think it may be some kind of cease and desist order but I haven’t been able to get to it. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2636 |
I've been stabbed in the back before but never with a list of reasons |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2637 |
Ok, for the last time, I've received no such summons, now get of of my back! |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2638 |
And in another ironic twist of fate, guess how they delivered my hospital bill? |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2639 |
Thanks, but I already got her message. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2640 |
I didn't actually see the courier, but I know he was here. |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2641 |
Just switch me to the electronic version of your newsletter ! |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2642 |
Hello Maddie. I'm calling to let you know I received the divorce papers. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2643 |
They said this is how they execute a contract over here. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2644 |
Let me guess. You're mad I get to keep the painting. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2645 |
Martin was here and he's pretty angry. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2646 |
Yeah, the contract took some sharp criticism.... |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2647 |
I think it’s that explanation of benefits that I asked for... |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2648 |
Honey, I just received my job evaluation and I don't think I will be home tonight. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2649 |
Something tells me I've put off the 'honey do' list a bit too long... |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2650 |
I'd like to have a word with Mr. Luther, please. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2651 |
Mom, you may be hearing that I am not working in the West Wing anymore. |
1.2923 |
0.07821 |
65 |
52 |
7 |
6 |
2652 |
Et tu, Wells Fargo? |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2653 |
Lost the grocery list again. Do we need frozen waffles? |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2654 |
I'd like to complain about your company's bill collector. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2655 |
I can’t make it. Apparently something needs my attention. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2656 |
My new neighbor is a Lutheran. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2657 |
I'd love to move but I can't get out of my lease. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2658 |
I told her our argument was pointless but she proved me wrong. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2659 |
Yes, I had called earlier about a missing newspaper. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2660 |
All I can tell you is that I'm picking up a really weird vibe at work. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2661 |
That's some sharp feedback for sure! |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2662 |
Your lawyer was here. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2663 |
The divorce lawyer just dropped off my copy. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2664 |
911? This is the middle class. We'd like to report an attempted homicide called the GOP tax plan. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2665 |
I’m just saying there’s got to be a better way to serve divorce papers. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2666 |
I was hoping we could settle this amicably. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2667 |
Never mind insensitive! Where did you leave our divorce papers? |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2668 |
Officer, I want to report a threat. It's in da Vinci mirror code. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2669 |
I lost the acupuncture forms again. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2670 |
The 'Dear John' I can accept, it's the delivery I have issue with.... |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2671 |
Honey, did you say something about a to-do list before you left? |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2672 |
It started when I gave him ‘a punch list.’ |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2673 |
"She just left without even leaving a note". |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2674 |
Mum, can we please have less of the 'But she's Lutheran, I knew it would come to this' talk... |
1.2923 |
0.07821 |
65 |
52 |
7 |
6 |
2675 |
She wants a divorce. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2676 |
Sure I feel betrayed, but at least it's all behind me now. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2677 |
Francis, I want to report a Martin Luther sighting. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2678 |
I'm not sure but she said something about divorce papers. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2679 |
Correct. I’d like to repay my student loans please. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2680 |
My wife is gonna kill me if I don't work on that list, but I can't find it! |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2681 |
Now where did she put the divorce papers again? |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2682 |
Mother was here, she left a note. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2683 |
Message received. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2684 |
It feels serious. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2685 |
Yes Doris, your divorce papers did come through. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2686 |
The ultimatum my wife just gave sure does sting. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2687 |
I think someone's trying to tell me something. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2688 |
I think my wife is trying to tell me something. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2689 |
I don't know, I can't read it. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2690 |
I've received their hostile takeover offer. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2691 |
As a matter of fact, I did just receive the divorce papers, Gladys. |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2692 |
I just heard back from your attorney. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2693 |
I get the feeling she's trying to send me a message. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2694 |
I know, Mr. Shapiro, she was just here.... |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2695 |
I’m pretty sure it’s the pre-nup. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2696 |
She did let me have her great-grandpa's hunting knife. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2697 |
I know the wedding is next week, mom, but she's indicated she has some problems with the prenup. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2698 |
This 'Honey-Do' list is brutal. |
1.2923 |
0.06476 |
65 |
48 |
15 |
2 |
2699 |
Excuse me for a moment. I think I just received another message. |
1.2923 |
0.07180 |
65 |
50 |
11 |
4 |
2700 |
I know she left me a list somewhere. |
1.2923 |
0.07821 |
65 |
52 |
7 |
6 |
2701 |
I’d like to sign up for electronic delivery of my account documents in the future. |
1.2923 |
0.06837 |
65 |
49 |
13 |
3 |
2702 |
I can't sign the settlement papers if I don't know where you put them, Joan. |
1.2923 |
0.07507 |
65 |
51 |
9 |
5 |
2703 |
Honey, where did you put the to do list? |
1.2923 |
0.07821 |
65 |
52 |
7 |
6 |
2704 |
some one is trying to tell me something |
1.2923 |
0.06093 |
65 |
47 |
17 |
1 |
2705 |
"Hello Doctor, I have a pain in my back and I think it's trying to tell me something.' |
1.2903 |
0.07046 |
62 |
47 |
12 |
3 |
2706 |
911? I've been attacked by my health insurance provider. |
1.2899 |
0.06879 |
69 |
53 |
12 |
4 |
2707 |
I wish she had just emailed the divorce papers. |
1.2899 |
0.06562 |
69 |
52 |
14 |
3 |
2708 |
Uhh, no dear, I haven't seen it. You said you stuck it, where?? |
1.2899 |
0.06879 |
69 |
53 |
12 |
4 |
2709 |
My wife. Don't ask, I just know. |
1.2899 |
0.06879 |
69 |
53 |
12 |
4 |
2710 |
I've got a stabbing pain in my back. And a long list of other symptoms. |
1.2899 |
0.06879 |
69 |
53 |
12 |
4 |
2711 |
911? Joe Taxpayer here. Just got stabbed in the back with the GOP tax plan..... |
1.2899 |
0.06562 |
69 |
52 |
14 |
3 |
2712 |
Yes, she's calling it her '22 Theses,' for each year of our marriage. |
1.2899 |
0.06562 |
69 |
52 |
14 |
3 |
2713 |
I can see that you’ve taken all your things, but I can’t seem to find the note you keep telling me you left. |
1.2899 |
0.06879 |
69 |
53 |
12 |
4 |
2714 |
I've been asked to join the reformation. |
1.2899 |
0.06879 |
69 |
53 |
12 |
4 |
2715 |
Man, my back is killing me. |
1.2899 |
0.06562 |
69 |
52 |
14 |
3 |
2716 |
I turned my back for a moment and she was gone but she left a note |
1.2879 |
0.07084 |
66 |
51 |
11 |
4 |
2717 |
Fake news hurts. |
1.2879 |
0.07714 |
66 |
53 |
7 |
6 |
2718 |
It feels like there's a hole in the contract. |
1.2879 |
0.07084 |
66 |
51 |
11 |
4 |
2719 |
I just received the divorce papers. |
1.2879 |
0.07406 |
66 |
52 |
9 |
5 |
2720 |
My boss made sure I got the point to bring some work home today. |
1.2879 |
0.07084 |
66 |
51 |
11 |
4 |
2721 |
I take it then that it is over between us. |
1.2879 |
0.07084 |
66 |
51 |
11 |
4 |
2722 |
Ya. I got it. But, unfortunately for you, it looks like you hit "reply all." |
1.2879 |
0.06392 |
66 |
49 |
15 |
2 |
2723 |
Yes, of course I got your list of demands. |
1.2879 |
0.06392 |
66 |
49 |
15 |
2 |