Contest #583


Cartoon

583


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started 2017-09-12
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued 2017-09-25 (estimated)
Number of captions 6115
Number of responses 342411
Number of participants 11096


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 So much for the suggestion box being anonymous 2.0822 0.01159 4442 1158 1761 1523
1 Don't worry, Ken's in stocks. You'll be working in bonds. 2.0763 0.01290 3567 933 1429 1205
2 Whatever you do, don't take the stock option. 2.0733 0.01408 3123 860 1174 1089
3 Let's see him check his phone during a meeting now. 2.0587 0.01248 3750 992 1546 1212
4 It was a very hostile takeover. 2.0343 0.01216 4111 1181 1608 1322
5 I thought they were putting art in the lobby, not Art in the lobby. 1.9994 0.01373 3320 1040 1242 1038
6 It says very clearly that there are penalties for early withdrawal. 1.9992 0.01224 3967 1181 1608 1178
7 He chose the stock option. 1.9955 0.01356 3356 1042 1287 1027
8 We've found it more cost-effective than a motivational speaker. 1.9276 0.02034 1492 518 564 410
9 Tom actually believed that the CEO wanted his honest opinion. 1.9274 0.02040 1501 527 556 418
10 It's the only treatment for carpal tunnel syndrome that's still covered by our company's health plan. 1.9243 0.03416 555 202 193 160
11 Ted's in stocks. You'll be working primarily with bonds. 1.8981 0.01297 3554 1262 1392 900
12 Our employee retention program is unmatched in the industry. 1.8912 0.01990 1544 565 582 397
13 I'm liking the new policy on sexual harassment. 1.8839 0.01550 2610 987 939 684
14 Now he'll think twice before hitting "reply all." 1.8784 0.02196 1225 445 484 296
15 That's Dave. He's in stocks. 1.8721 0.01742 1915 694 772 449
16 I prefer bonds. With stocks it's too easy to get locked in. 1.8699 0.01686 2114 790 809 515
17 Yep, he's the one who hit "reply all". 1.8682 0.01370 3285 1258 1202 825
18 He hit "Reply All". 1.8635 0.01579 2520 987 890 643
19 So we finally figured out whose car had the Trump bumper sticker on it. 1.8414 0.01812 1993 835 639 519
20 It's uncanny how his eyes seem to follow you. 1.8170 0.02099 1426 602 483 341
21 That's who you'll be replacing. 1.8113 0.01774 1865 756 705 404
22 There's a substantial penalty for early withdrawals. 1.7852 0.01695 1997 833 760 404
23 Mondays are torture. 1.7804 0.02655 847 366 301 180
24 They do things a little differently at the New England branch. 1.7761 0.01818 1791 775 642 374
25 Mitch, for what it's worth, I actually loved that Facebook post. 1.7743 0.01934 1626 719 555 352
26 Around here, there IS such thing as a stupid question. 1.7726 0.01827 1746 752 639 355
27 You don't request a standing desk at a chair company. 1.7696 0.02478 994 444 335 215
28 He re-heated fish in the microwave. 1.7607 0.02593 886 395 308 183
29 We're not allowed to publicly shame people on social media anymore. 1.7537 0.02119 1291 572 465 254
30 This lobby has a nice Town Square feel. 1.7521 0.02652 835 374 294 167
31 Hey look. Marv has a new tie. 1.7464 0.02484 1053 509 302 242
32 Beats getting the axe. 1.7443 0.02503 966 447 319 200
33 That's Jensen. He's in stocks. 1.7386 0.01778 1836 835 646 355
34 Here at Colonial Life we take our name very seriously. 1.7346 0.02797 765 357 254 154
35 No reason. It just makes everyone else happy. 1.7310 0.04517 290 135 98 57
36 Did I mention the stock options? 1.7194 0.01893 1575 727 563 285
37 Apparently Fred misunderstood the stock option program. 1.7186 0.01988 1482 701 497 284
38 Scott got off easy, Sue has to wear an A. 1.7148 0.02784 782 380 245 157
39 We take break room refrigerator theft very seriously here. 1.7095 0.02672 740 334 287 119
40 They decided to make the scapegoat a permanent position. 1.7018 0.02474 996 496 301 199
41 The anti-groping device has decreased women's complaints by 90%. 1.6963 0.02855 675 319 242 114
42 Because we are a faith-based organization, we can get away with just about anything. 1.6928 0.02521 996 515 272 209
43 Watch how the eyes seem to follow you as you walk by. 1.6915 0.02260 1193 604 353 236
44 Would you call that cruel or just unusual? 1.6894 0.02348 953 444 361 148
45 We thought about removing it, but it's part of our history and culture. 1.6880 0.02787 811 421 222 168
46 Damn Auto Correct. I said 'corporate' punishment. 1.6867 0.02402 964 466 334 164
47 I see the Trump Administration has begun their new policy for White House reporters 1.6855 0.02907 674 331 224 119
48 The top flips so it doubles as a standing desk. 1.6841 0.02323 1089 546 341 202
49 Darryl was tired of being chained to his desk. 1.6840 0.02711 769 377 258 134
50 I'm very nervous about my upcoming performance review. 1.6724 0.02654 702 326 280 96
51 He used facts to prove the boss wrong. 1.6627 0.02799 762 399 221 142
52 We're a four-hundred-year-old organization. Old habits die hard. 1.6624 0.02603 776 379 280 117
53 And this is a place reserved especially for people who Reply All. 1.6623 0.02565 847 427 279 141
54 We're proud of our stock options for whistleblowers here. 1.6524 0.05841 164 84 53 27
55 Oh, that? It's our whistleblower bulletin board! 1.6482 0.02806 705 363 227 115
56 If it's your turn to bring the doughnuts, you bring the doughnuts. 1.6437 0.02801 682 347 231 104
57 They take performance reviews pretty seriously. 1.6407 0.02794 668 337 234 97
58 Nice tie, Herb. 1.6385 0.02921 650 340 205 105
59 "Still haven't figured out that standing desk Carl? 1.6359 0.03092 629 345 168 116
60 Okay. Now I'll show you the Bonds Department. 1.6355 0.02925 631 327 207 97
61 We do "employee of the month" a little differently around here. 1.6340 0.02973 623 327 197 99
62 He was in bonds, but now he's in stocks. 1.6316 0.02997 608 319 194 95
63 He replied all and attached a cat video. 1.6298 0.03145 570 305 171 94
64 That's Phil, he's in stocks. 1.6265 0.03033 581 304 190 87
65 It's definitely not the employee stock plan I was hoping for. 1.6261 0.02988 575 295 200 80
66 Jim must have parked in Mr. Peterson's spot again. 1.6250 0.03128 568 304 173 91
67 It's a nice place to work, but the stock options aren't that great. 1.6211 0.03046 549 283 191 75
68 No, we're not a union shop. Why? 1.6205 0.03246 527 284 159 84
69 He's a day traitor. 1.6014 0.03582 444 250 121 73
70 He told the boss that we were stuck in the middle ages 1.6009 0.03536 456 257 124 75
71 Casual Humiliation Fridays. 1.5973 0.03540 442 247 126 69
72 That tie with those shoes? 1.5968 0.03502 434 238 133 63
73 You should have seen him last week when he said he was all tied up. 1.5948 0.03437 427 229 142 56
74 One last thing- never take the CEO's parking spot. 1.5923 0.03567 417 230 127 60
75 Medieval Mondays. 1.5846 0.03655 390 216 120 54
76 He stole food from the office refrigerator. 1.5842 0.03623 392 216 123 53
77 We offered him a severance package, but he preferred stocks. 1.5842 0.03641 392 217 121 54
78 I hate medieval Mondays. 1.5810 0.03987 358 208 92 58
79 He had an idea. 1.5718 0.03918 355 205 97 53
80 I see our stocks are up. 1.5659 0.03956 334 191 97 46
81 Looks like our Salem branch didn't meet quota. 1.5636 0.03947 330 188 98 44
82 Neville came in last for employee of the month. 1.5623 0.04027 329 191 91 47
83 Never noticed what tiny hands he has. 1.5617 0.04281 324 198 70 56
84 Actually, nothing at all. It's just his turn. 1.5559 0.04038 313 180 92 41
85 We're getting lunch, want us to bring anything back to throw at you? 1.5556 0.04463 270 159 72 39
86 He exercised his stock option. 1.5552 0.04140 308 180 85 43
87 Oh, that's Todd. He microwaved fish in the lunch room. 1.5548 0.04195 310 184 80 46
88 Nice tie, Fred! 1.5548 0.03912 310 173 102 35
89 Company bylaws were written in 1640. 1.5547 0.04499 247 141 75 31
90 He should have gone into bonds. 1.5541 0.04299 305 184 73 48
91 He forgot his PIN for the tenth time. 1.5517 0.05948 145 84 42 19
92 He did well in bonds but, he has always had trouble with stocks. 1.5507 0.04022 296 167 95 34
93 Don't feel sorry for him. He gets to miss this morning's staff meeting. 1.5503 0.03974 298 167 98 33
94 I don't care what they say, don't put anything in the suggestion box. 1.5495 0.04167 293 170 85 38
95 Yeah, but that's not so bad. Sara in accounting is fighting a witchcraft charge. 1.5458 0.04604 262 159 63 40
96 No wonder he's not answering my emails. 1.5442 0.04039 283 159 94 30
97 That's actually an alternative to attending staff meetings, and one of the most popular benefits we offer. 1.5439 0.04228 285 167 81 37
98 I heard he demanded a stock option. 1.5426 0.04292 282 167 77 38
99 His family have been pillories of their communities for generations. 1.5344 0.04479 262 158 68 36
100 They say it's healthier than sitting 1.5344 0.04347 262 154 76 32
101 When the new boss says she'll go medieval on you, she means it. 1.5344 0.04347 262 154 76 32
102 It's the only way to keep him from tweeting. 1.5326 0.04558 261 160 63 38
103 He lost the Salem account. 1.5322 0.04751 233 141 60 32
104 Office fridge thief. Got off easy. 1.5312 0.04247 256 147 82 27
105 Oh, yeah; and NEVER park in the boss's spot! 1.5310 0.04115 258 145 89 24
106 Corporate is watching too much Game of Thrones, if you ask me. 1.5296 0.04533 253 153 66 34
107 No bonds. Just stocks. 1.5280 0.04504 250 150 68 32
108 Oh, that's just Fred. He's posing for a stock photo. 1.5261 0.04298 249 144 79 26
109 We treat everyone the same here. Except Larry. 1.5246 0.04662 244 150 60 34
110 We're moving more clients into stocks. 1.5228 0.04670 241 148 60 33
111 Ted, it's been two weeks. Just pay for the locksmith. 1.5228 0.04595 241 146 64 31
112 Now I'm glad I declined the stock options. 1.5210 0.04562 238 143 66 29
113 He was the sales rep for the Salem, Massachusetts region. 1.5191 0.04645 235 143 62 30
114 Our customer retention is among the best in the business. 1.5191 0.04566 235 141 66 28
115 He asked the new boss when she's due. She isn't pregnant. 1.5191 0.04723 235 145 58 32
116 That said, hardly anyone checks email during meetings anymore. 1.5172 0.04361 232 134 76 22
117 We can now safely leave lunch in the fridge. 1.5172 0.04446 232 136 72 24
118 Honestly, what's more painful? The confinement or the endless litany of "stocks and bonds" puns. 1.5111 0.04719 225 138 59 28
119 He thought he was on mute during a conference call. 1.5091 0.04712 220 134 60 26
120 The stock options used to be better. 1.5090 0.04724 222 136 59 27
121 There really is a penalty for early withdrawal. 1.5070 0.05144 215 140 41 34
122 He was caught being ethical 1.5070 0.05016 215 137 47 31
123 Looks like, "Mr. Always Leaves the Coffee Pot Empty" finally got what he had coming. 1.5069 0.04716 217 132 60 25
124 He'll be glue-sticked and feathered at noon. 1.5068 0.04684 219 133 61 25
125 New stock boy? 1.5028 0.04908 179 105 58 16
126 He doesn't use the oxford comma. 1.5024 0.04897 209 130 53 26
127 This area is stocks. Next door is bonds. 1.5000 0.04705 206 124 61 21
128 Whaddya think ... Couples Therapy or Anger Management ??? 1.5000 0.05092 206 132 45 29
129 I have a hunch the audit isn't going so well. 1.5000 0.04903 206 128 53 25
130 It may be harsh, but missing pens and paper clips are down 40% 1.5000 0.06261 114 68 35 11
131 Notice how it's never upper management, no matter what they've done. 1.4976 0.04872 205 127 54 24
132 Removed a mattress tag. 1.4950 0.05073 202 129 46 27
133 He IS the Ombudsman... 1.4950 0.05024 202 128 48 26
134 He thought the Suggestion Box was anonymous 1.4940 0.05250 166 101 48 17
135 There actually are stupid questions. 1.4924 0.04914 197 122 53 22
136 We can also put you in bonds. 1.4923 0.05312 195 128 38 29
137 He chose it over the self-assessment. 1.4923 0.05004 195 122 50 23
138 As you can see, we offer a traditional stock option plan for our employees. 1.4896 0.05426 192 128 34 30
139 Ironic. He was August's Employee of the Month. 1.4896 0.05169 192 123 44 25
140 HR can answer any questions you have about our incentive program. 1.4896 0.04898 192 118 54 20
141 It's our new employee retention strategy. 1.4896 0.04728 192 115 60 17
142 I liked the fish tank better. 1.4896 0.05062 192 121 48 23
143 It can be bought on a ‘no-risk’ basis for teenage time-outs. 1.4896 0.05376 192 127 36 29
144 I don't know, something about Wells Fargo. 1.4869 0.05082 191 121 47 23
145 ...And he kept forwarding cat videos. 1.4869 0.05189 191 123 43 25
146 Never take the stock option if you're planning to quit. 1.4868 0.04897 189 116 54 19
147 He just had to ask about our stock options. 1.4868 0.05011 189 118 50 21
148 They caught him counting cards; now he counts people. 1.4868 0.05493 189 127 32 30
149 The plan is to take the same photo of him for 27 years. 1.4840 0.04858 188 115 55 18
150 He's "Bad Employee of the Month". 1.4837 0.04993 184 114 51 19
151 If this is what's really meant by stocks, I don't want to ask what's meant by "bonds 1.4837 0.05052 184 115 49 20
152 He won't be texting today! 1.4809 0.05189 183 117 44 22
153 They put up the Thanksgiving decorations earlier every year. 1.4809 0.05360 183 120 38 25
154 Just don't mention that the receptionist has no mouth. 1.4809 0.05416 183 121 36 26
155 It may seem harsh Carol but my sandwich clearly had my name on it 1.4775 0.05176 178 113 45 20
156 One last thing, don't ever mention the word "union". 1.4775 0.05237 178 114 43 21
157 I'm guessing installation art. 1.4775 0.04989 178 110 51 17
158 I heard he asked to exercise his stock options. 1.4775 0.04925 178 109 53 16
159 Yeah, he went for the stocks option. 1.4775 0.04860 178 108 55 15
160 People are choosing it over Millennial sensitivity training. 1.4775 0.05532 178 119 33 26
161 Looks like Steve put fish in the microwave again. 1.4773 0.05220 176 112 44 20
162 I see they've filled the vacancy on the board. 1.4746 0.06221 118 74 32 12
163 I heard the internship here was a little harsh. 1.4709 0.05112 172 108 47 17
164 They're really cracking down on parents that sell Girl Scout cookies at work. 1.4706 0.06081 136 89 30 17
165 You empty the pot, you make a fresh one. He knew the rules. 1.4706 0.05289 170 109 42 19
166 I'm running for coffee, Gary. Get you anything? 1.4706 0.05155 170 107 46 17
167 Deregulation really opened some doors for us. 1.4671 0.05747 167 114 28 25
168 Looks like Dave replied all again. 1.4667 0.05405 165 107 39 19
169 No, he's just really annoying. 1.4667 0.05405 165 107 39 19
170 Wait until you see what they've installed at the Bonds office entrance. 1.4667 0.05607 165 110 33 22
171 Employee of the month. 1.4634 0.05359 164 106 40 18
172 He has a restraining order. 1.4630 0.05264 162 103 43 16
173 It's part of the Robert Mueller collection. 1.4630 0.05478 162 106 37 19
174 So much for "There are no stupid ideas" here. 1.4596 0.05431 161 105 38 18
175 That's why I never put anything in the suggestion box! 1.4596 0.05359 161 104 40 17
176 He was voting on a caption contest at his desk. 1.4591 0.05765 159 108 29 22
177 On Fridays, the tie is optional. 1.4591 0.05765 159 108 29 22
178 Looks like Jason heated up fish in the microwave again 1.4591 0.05765 159 108 29 22
179 That reminds me: my student loan payment is due. 1.4591 0.05183 159 100 45 14
180 You know, working in stocks isn't as glamorous as it sounds. 1.4591 0.05554 159 105 35 19
181 That's nothing. Guess where they put the scarlet 'A'? 1.4586 0.05679 157 105 32 20
182 Our brokerage house handles both stocks and bondage. 1.4586 0.05679 157 105 32 20
183 It helps to inhibit whistle blowing 1.4586 0.05459 157 102 38 17
184 I'm guessing a man bun. 1.4586 0.05821 157 107 28 22
185 That reminds me, on the way back from lunch pick up some rotten fruit. 1.4586 0.05606 157 104 34 19
186 It was a very hostile takeover. 1.4586 0.05533 157 103 36 18
187 At least he's not in a cubicle. 1.4586 0.05383 157 101 40 16
188 It's been more effective than 'Employee of the Month' 1.4586 0.05606 157 104 34 19
189 It is best not to wave. 1.4586 0.05459 157 102 38 17
190 The stocks options are bad, but the severance package is truly gruesome. 1.4557 0.05650 158 106 32 20
191 Who says corporations can't show restraint? 1.4545 0.05535 154 101 36 17
192 Wells Fargo is really taking this mea culpa a bit too far. 1.4545 0.05300 154 98 42 14
193 He got off easy. She has to wear that scarlet 'A' around the office. 1.4545 0.05535 154 101 36 17
194 Ooooo.. artisanal punishments 1.4503 0.05534 151 99 36 16
195 But they've eliminated late fees. 1.4503 0.05614 151 100 34 17
196 That's really cruel punishment. Henry's iPhone is buzzing and he can't get to it. 1.4500 0.09028 60 40 13 7
197 His secretary is overjoyed. 1.4488 0.05990 127 83 31 13
198 It's supposed to be ergonomic. 1.4452 0.05237 146 92 43 11
199 oh...and don't monkey with the thermostat. 1.4452 0.05501 146 95 37 14
200 He got his password wrong three times. 1.4452 0.05670 146 97 33 16
201 Remember: if you didn't put it in the fridge, you don't get to eat it. Right, Harold? 1.4452 0.05414 146 94 39 13
202 I would have placed him closer to the door. That way he could greet visitors. 1.4444 0.05977 144 99 26 19
203 We put him in stocks, but a lot of our clients actually prefer bonds. 1.4444 0.05977 144 99 26 19
204 We've added the stocks option to boost retention. 1.4444 0.05977 144 99 26 19
205 Freedom of speech my ass... 1.4444 0.05556 144 94 36 14
206 I always thought he was in bonds. 1.4444 0.05467 144 93 38 13
207 The early version of our stand-up desk had a few design flaws. 1.4444 0.05556 144 94 36 14
208 HR manager trained in Salem. 1.4444 0.05467 144 93 38 13
209 He's in the employee stock plan. 1.4444 0.05100 144 89 46 9
210 Looks like Frank exercised his stock option. 1.4444 0.05100 144 89 46 9
211 Oh, that's Ted. His job is the one you're interviewing for right now. 1.4406 0.05581 143 94 35 14
212 Look Carl, you have the same tie! 1.4406 0.05121 143 89 45 9
213 Bad employee of the month. 1.4397 0.05727 141 94 32 15
214 We're mostly about stocks, but we do have a small pillory department. 1.4397 0.05547 141 92 36 13
215 Looks like somebody forgot their badge today. 1.4397 0.05547 141 92 36 13
216 One more week and he will make partner. 1.4359 0.05870 117 75 33 9
217 That's Jim. He's this week's stock pick. 1.4357 0.05664 140 93 33 14
218 Social media can’t compete with our shaming technology. 1.4357 0.05664 140 93 33 14
219 If you think stocks are scary, wait'll you see bonds. 1.4357 0.06016 140 97 25 18
220 He knew it was an entry-level position when he applied. 1.4357 0.05842 140 95 29 16
221 He thought the Confidential Employee Survey was confidential. 1.4357 0.05572 140 92 35 13
222 I see they've upped the penalty on early withdrawal. 1.4338 0.05783 136 91 31 14
223 I thought when he said working here was torture he was being dramatic. 1.4338 0.05592 136 89 35 12
224 With all the risks he in took in bonds I always knew he would end up in stocks 1.4338 0.05783 136 91 31 14
225 Looks like Jim hit Reply All to an announcement. 1.4338 0.05783 136 91 31 14
226 It seems that the stock for this company has just gone public. 1.4338 0.05688 136 90 33 13
227 I applied for that job, dammit. 1.4338 0.05877 136 92 29 15
228 It's on loan from our Salem branch. 1.4338 0.05688 136 90 33 13
229 He heated up fish in the microwave. Well deserved if you ask me. 1.4296 0.05998 135 93 26 16
230 Oh, he's the EPA employee of the month. 1.4286 0.05877 105 66 33 6
231 He's looks better in walnut. 1.4275 0.05422 131 84 38 9
232 It's underperformance art. 1.4275 0.05634 131 86 34 11
233 In a week, you won't even notice him. 1.4275 0.05634 131 86 34 11
234 Make sure to read the fine print on the stock options. 1.4275 0.05634 131 86 34 11
235 This company seems fantastic! Can we just go over your three strike policy one more time though? 1.4275 0.05634 131 86 34 11
236 He spoiled Game of Thrones last week. 1.4275 0.05939 131 89 28 14
237 It's creepy how his eyes seem to follow you. 1.4275 0.06037 131 90 26 15
238 Throwback Thursday. 1.4228 0.06000 123 83 28 12
239 Yes, he's the guy who asked "Why are we here" at that meeting yesterday. 1.4219 0.05828 128 86 30 12
240 The CEO feels more empowered since the Hobby Lobby decision. 1.4216 0.06600 102 69 23 10
241 He was using emojis in Subject lines. 1.4206 0.05674 126 83 33 10
242 He gets in that voluntarily after his sixth mocha latte. 1.4206 0.06208 126 88 23 15
243 How else do you get through to someone who microwaves fish in the break room? 1.4206 0.06105 126 87 25 14
244 HR is trying for more voluntary retirements. 1.4206 0.06208 126 88 23 15
245 Why don't they just bully him online? 1.4206 0.05785 126 84 31 11
246 It's touted as being the best way to break your cell phone habit. 1.4200 0.06541 100 67 24 9
247 The stoning will take place after lunch, if you're free. 1.4160 0.05586 125 82 34 9
248 It's a fairly tough interview process. 1.4160 0.05586 125 82 34 9
249 He entered the wrong password three times. 1.4160 0.05923 125 85 28 12
250 He's never missed a day of work. 1.4132 0.05946 121 82 28 11
251 It's better than being chained to his desk. 1.4132 0.06061 121 83 26 12
252 Suddenly "employee stock option" doesn't sound so attractive. 1.4132 0.06284 121 85 22 14
253 That's what happens when you don't read the fine print about 'stock options'. 1.4083 0.06317 120 85 21 14
254 Who is the laughing stock now! 1.4083 0.05976 120 82 27 11
255 Oh, that's Lou. He's been sending company emails out in all caps. 1.4083 0.05976 120 82 27 11
256 Put it this way: I'd keep your thoughts on the open floor plan to yourself. 1.4083 0.05857 120 81 29 10
257 Meet your sales goal each month and you have nothing to worry about. 1.4083 0.05487 120 78 35 7
258 Have a nice day. 1.4083 0.05976 120 82 27 11
259 Just believe me: you don't want to use Comic Sans in a PowerPoint presentation. Not here. 1.4083 0.06206 120 84 23 13
260 He's an apprentice in Donald Trump's PRESS SECRETARY JOB program. 1.4083 0.06206 120 84 23 13
261 He hit Reply All to the spam email. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
262 Oh, and when it's your day to bring doughnuts.....don't forget. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
263 Ignore him. Don't give him the attention he desperately wants. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
264 Don't look at him, that's what he wants! 1.4068 0.06165 118 82 24 12
265 Well, the boss did say he wanted to return to the virtues of the founding fathers. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
266 The Board did say they were interested in old world values. 1.4068 0.05802 118 79 30 9
267 It's grown up time out. 1.4052 0.05334 116 74 37 5
268 How did he tie his tie like that? 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
269 Mistakenly hit reply all. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
270 Frank's attending our mandatory sexual harassment seminar. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
271 We call this "casualty Friday." 1.4052 0.05608 116 76 33 7
272 HR used to handle these situations, but with downsizing... 1.4052 0.05869 116 78 29 9
273 Oh and stealing office supplies is really frowned on here. 1.4052 0.05740 116 77 31 8
274 He's in our stocks and bondage department. 1.4035 0.06319 114 80 22 12
275 Welcome to our Colonial Williamsburg office. 1.4035 0.06195 114 79 24 11
276 They're phasing Matt out of stocks and bondage. 1.4035 0.06441 114 81 20 13
277 He laughed at Jeff Sessions. 1.4035 0.06441 114 81 20 13
278 Someone didn't read the memo on the Oxford Comma. 1.4035 0.05807 114 76 30 8
279 He should have gone into bonds. 1.4035 0.06677 114 83 16 15
280 He only gave 109 percent. 1.4035 0.05807 114 76 30 8
281 Man, I'm going to miss the interns when they're gone. 1.4035 0.05533 114 74 34 6
282 He taught his kids cursive 1.4035 0.06677 114 83 16 15
283 Looks like the stocks are back up. 1.4035 0.06677 114 83 16 15
284 He asked the receptionist "Working hard or hardly working?" just one time too many. 1.4035 0.06195 114 79 24 11
285 He'll never 'Reply All' again! 1.4035 0.06319 114 80 22 12
286 He took the executive stock option. 1.3982 0.05413 113 73 35 5
287 The reality of our overcrowded prisons has finally sunk in. 1.3964 0.05320 111 71 36 4
288 The boss says that next week we're doing something called "The Lottery." 1.3964 0.06435 111 79 20 12
289 That's the dude who keeps replying all. 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
290 He pushed all the buttons in the elevator. 1.3964 0.06306 111 78 22 11
291 Try earning 80 cents on the dollar. Then we'll talk indignity. 1.3964 0.06435 111 79 20 12
292 Sometimes the old ways are the best 1.3964 0.06435 111 79 20 12
293 Remember when behavior at an office party really had no consequences? 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
294 I forgot to mention we don't have an HR department yet. 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
295 Just letting him go would have sent the wrong message. 1.3964 0.05904 111 75 28 8
296 Don't you have that tie? 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
297 Next time bring your own yogurt. 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
298 He had the gall to suggest we aren't tolerant and inclusive here at Google. 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
299 He didn't like "Hamilton". 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
300 He took the stock option 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
301 At least it's not Wells Fargo. 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
302 He's testing out the new seating arrangements for economy air." 1.3925 0.06739 107 78 16 13
303 Wasn't there a plant there before? 1.3925 0.05751 107 71 30 6
304 Isn't that the same tie he wore yesterday? 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
305 He created the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
306 Not surprisingly, productivity is up 30%. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
307 Ixnay onway the 'equal aypay' alk-tay. 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
308 We're old school. 1.3925 0.05902 107 72 28 7
309 I heard that he got caught reading "Dilbert". 1.3925 0.05751 107 71 30 6
310 No pressure, but that's me if you don't sign. 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
311 He used Reply All. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
312 He lost the bathroom key. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
313 I was chained to my desk last week. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
314 It's the part of Frank-Dodd Act that the bankers are trying hardest to get rescinded. 1.3868 0.06508 106 76 19 11
315 I see they've posted the new Scapegoat of the Month 1.3861 0.05965 101 68 27 6
316 Fish in the microwave. 1.3846 0.06874 104 77 14 13
317 He was voted worst employee of the month. 1.3846 0.05685 104 69 30 5
318 At least the stocks are holding steady this week. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
319 You'll like working in this company because they never fire anybody, they only reprimand them. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
320 They say it helps get you ready for your stand up desk. 1.3846 0.05847 104 70 28 6
321 He sold flood insurance in Houston. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
322 Remind me not to microwave fish sticks in the break room. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
323 He microwaved fish. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
324 Psst, can one of you explain the Oxford comma? 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
325 Installation art can be intimidating sometimes. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
326 Don't ask for stock options. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
327 Hi, Bob, what did you do this time? 1.3824 0.06832 102 75 15 12
328 Yeah, I declined the new stock option, too. 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
329 We locked him into a three year contract. 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
330 Tried to speak truth to the Executive Suite. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
331 The latest management technique: Trump's employee of the year bonus. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
332 I'm in mergers & acquisitions, and he works in stocks. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
333 That's our pillory broker. Our stock broker is on the second floor. 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
334 I hope you contribute to the next potluck. 1.3800 0.05993 100 68 26 6
335 He's a reminder that you always have to read the "terms and conditions" before signing any contract. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
336 Corporate punishment 1.3800 0.06931 100 74 14 12
337 We pay him a fortune for this. It raises productivity in the enterprise! 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
338 It's a temporary suspension. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
339 He always wanted to work in stocks. 1.3800 0.05646 100 66 30 4
340 The decor is a bit too Puritan for my tastes. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
341 It's the latest initiative from our old school CEO: Stocks & Bondage. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
342 "Oh that? It's our Customer Service waiting area"! 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
343 Yes, this bank has severe penalties for early withdrawal. 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
344 I can't get use to him in that tie. 1.3800 0.06931 100 74 14 12
345 Excuse me, Sir. Your zipper's down. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
346 They don't write people up the way they used to. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
347 Looks like they were serious about using the copier for personal business. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
348 I mean, those frames with that tie? 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
349 Is that the new standing desk you were talking about? 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
350 This is stocks. You'll be over here in bonds. 1.3800 0.05822 100 67 28 5
351 I guess our stock has finally gone public. 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
352 There really are stupid questions. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
353 You were right, the art is shameful here. 1.3737 0.06823 99 73 15 11
354 On the flip side, our employee bonus plan is pretty generous. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
355 Wells Fargo signed him up for it. 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
356 His broker told him to get into stocks. 1.3711 0.07077 97 73 12 12
357 He complained about being chained to his desk. 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
358 We take employee retention seriously. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
359 What did you say the pre payment penalty was? 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
360 He hit "reply all" one time too many. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
361 The new HR Director came from Uber. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
362 I'm reconsidering the stock options. 1.3684 0.05996 95 65 25 5
363 Stocks always outperform bonds. 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
364 He didn't embrace the workplace culture of positivity and employee satisfaction. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
365 We have plenty of stock options. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
366 Fred is training to be White House Correspondent... 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
367 He never should have said that the last staff meeting was just plain torture. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
368 Fish in the microwave again, Johnson? 1.3684 0.06867 95 70 15 10
369 Fish in the microwave. 1.3684 0.05996 95 65 25 5
370 I'm surprised at how many interns sign up for the stock option without reading the fine print. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
371 Well, so much for the "Don't hesitate to speak up if you don't agree with me" policy. 1.3673 0.06220 98 69 22 7
372 He ate the last doughnut. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
373 Most call it humiliation. We call it another day at work. 1.3656 0.07298 93 71 10 12
374 That reminds me, never take anyone's food from the staff fridge. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
375 You should probably pass if they offer stock options 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
376 That absolutely violates the principals of feng shui. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
377 The boss is reading Foucault again. 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
378 And bonds are down in the dungeon. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
379 Reply all again? 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
380 It's the only way to get them to stop saying "Win Win." 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
381 It"s the last step in the hiring process. 1.3656 0.07136 93 70 12 11
382 Glad to see stocks are up this morning. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
383 I thought they had abolished corporate punishment. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
384 His standing desk turned on him. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
385 Last time Jenkins hits "Reply All". 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
386 I see they finally caught the break room refrigerator bandit. 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
387 And to think you scoffed at me when I said "let's read the Terms & Conditions." 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
388 It's motivation art. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
389 Looks like someone tried to work from home again. 1.3656 0.07298 93 71 10 12
390 We're trying to discourage people from hitting "reply all". 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
391 He used to be in bonds. Now he's in stocks. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
392 He questioned our mission statement. 1.3656 0.07136 93 70 12 11
393 Wait 'til you see their bonds 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
394 ...And that's what happens when you Reply All. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
395 ... paid leave, 401K, medical, dental, and of course there's a stock option. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
396 ...and over there is Kai, he microwaved fish in the breakroom yesterday. 1.3656 0.06801 93 68 16 9
397 He told the truth at the last board meeting. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
398 It's our new personal fitness product. You improve your posture while atoning for your sins. 1.3600 0.07973 75 57 9 9
399 He won the caption contest. 1.3587 0.06294 92 65 21 6
400 He finds it hard to think outside the box. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
401 He prefers it to flogging... 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
402 I guess the numbers do matter 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
403 I don't get performance art. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
404 Oh, by the way, don't use the copier for any personal business. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
405 That reminds me. I have to call my broker. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
406 He kept using "reply all." 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
407 Hmm, looks like stocks are up. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
408 Here at EPA we don't tweet that climate change is real! 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
409 He hit 'Reply All' by mistake 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
410 We have a lobbyist on retainer. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
411 Remind me to check our Terms of Service when we get home. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
412 A wide tie would go better with that. 1.3523 0.05836 88 60 25 3
413 Looks like Bob fell for the old stocks option trick. 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
414 Our company has very traditional values. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
415 On Fridays he's allowed to remove his tie. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
416 I think you'll find our HR policies to be tough but fair. 1.3523 0.06056 88 61 23 4
417 Oh, yes, I forgot: billable hours need to be submitted every Friday by noon. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
418 Think before you tweet. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
419 That's Richardson. He hit "reply all" one time too many. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
420 He burned popcorn. The last guy microwaved salmon. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
421 I see the company is providing stock options. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
422 Ask him. He has to tell you. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
423 Look's like Bob talked to the press again. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
424 We call it Underperformance Art. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
425 Who thought the 16th century would provide a very effective cure for constantly checking your iPhone? 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
426 "Reheated fish in the office microwave". 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
427 He'll never 'Reply All' again! 1.3488 0.07166 86 65 12 9
428 They're serious about not stealing people's food from the fridge. 1.3488 0.05910 86 59 24 3
429 It's voluntary. And there's a waiting list. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
430 Oh, no. It’s empathy training week again. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
431 What a great looking tie.... 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
432 Needless to say, Corporate's clamped down on turnover with their new employee stocks option. 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
433 Our H.R. director is a history buff. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
434 It doesn't give me the joy that I expected. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
435 I miss the old standing desks 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
436 I see Artman decided to exercise his stock options. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
437 We found an inverse correlation between time spent in the pillory and usage of words like "synergy" and "paradigm". 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
438 Oh there's still a late payment penalty, just not a fee. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
439 Looks like our merger with Penn & Teller is complete. 1.3415 0.07407 82 63 10 9
440 I told you it was a company founded on traditional values. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
441 That's Morty. He's in stocks. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
442 Looks like somebody won't be emailing us his lame caption contest entries anymore. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
443 I'm thinking the tie is a clip on. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
444 Looks like Jim went over budget again. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
445 It's part of our new employee disincentive program. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
446 I guess he didn't read the fine print about the stocks. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
447 How's the standing desk working out, Bob? 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
448 He opened 3,000 new checking accounts for customers of this branch alone. I believe he'll be in the headquarters lobby next week. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
449 I guess they are really holding him to that locked-in rate 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
450 They find it more effective than "Employee of the Month" 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
451 He won't be taking any more pens from work home after this. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
452 Wow, I guess they really do pay attention to the employee surveys! 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
453 I don't think this was the kind of stock option he had in mind. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
454 I see stocks are up. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
455 I warned him that his short position in stocks would be painful. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
456 It's a harsh reminder to think twice before hitting "Reply All". 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
457 "He's in stocks", said everyone who entered the cartoon caption contest this week. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
458 "Nice Tie". 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
459 He thought he was taking the stock option. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
460 I understand it's for an Oxford comma in the subject line. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
461 He ate four donuts at our Monday morning meeting. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
462 He's trying to spend less time on his phone. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
463 The tweet has since been deleted but apparently it was pretty bad. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
464 I heard that he cooked fish in the break room microwave. They went too easy on him, if you ask me. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
465 I don't get the attraction of the new standing desks. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
466 As you'll see in the employee handbook, we discourage the use of "Reply All" on work emails. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
467 Shoot. Did I do my timesheets? 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
468 Looks like our stocks are up today. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
469 We're heading out for coffee. Get you anything? 1.3333 0.07244 81 62 11 8
470 I guess employee of the month doesn't mean what it used to. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
471 Looks like he misunderstood when I told him stocks are better than bonds 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
472 Looks like someone didn't share in our team-based goal of inclusion and mutual support in the workplace. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
473 We hired you to take his position. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
474 I thought that tie was out of stock. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
475 I still think the Employee-of-the-Month poster was more motivating. 1.3291 0.05899 79 55 22 2
476 Oh. That's called 'Standing Stock Still'. It's on loan from MOMA. 1.3291 0.07795 79 63 6 10
477 He didn't want to be chained to his desk. 1.3291 0.07367 79 61 10 8
478 We've found it more effective than Employee of the Week. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
479 Not the kind of stock option I was thinking of here. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
480 She says she has a sense of humor but when he rhymed Hillary with pillory... 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
481 The penalty for early withdrawal is a little harsh. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
482 He wasn't specific enough about his standing desk request. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
483 It's a clip-on. 1.3291 0.07367 79 61 10 8
484 He came in because he was tired of being placed on hold. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
485 Yeah, but he is raking in the OT. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
486 Look who's in time-out now. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
487 It's Medieval Awareness Day 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
488 Perhaps office culture has gotten a little too puritanical. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
489 I see Dave farted in the elevator again. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
490 I see my idea of having cameras in the copier room is already paying off. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
491 Our employee-retention program is best-in-class, including a unique stock option plan. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
492 Forgot his password 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
493 He used password as his password. 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
494 He clicked reply all. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
495 Looks like someone's got a case of the 1500s. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
496 He was right after all. Stocks did go up. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
497 Him? He's Walter Wilson from Stocks and Bondage. 1.3200 0.07631 75 59 8 8
498 All I know is he broke the copier two weeks in a row. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
499 It's Wells Fargo, returning to its roots. 1.3200 0.07631 75 59 8 8
500 I preferred the abstract art you could interpret any way you wanted. 1.3200 0.06051 75 53 20 2
501 His tie is certainly a distraction. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
502 He got more Twitter followers than the boss. 1.3200 0.06051 75 53 20 2
503 that client wanted to be put in a very secure stock 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
504 That's odd. I thought he was in bonds. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
505 Lost 400 million yesterday on the foreign exchange desk. It won't happen again. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
506 He said he was getting into stocks. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
507 We are encouraged to yank the tie. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
508 He should switch to bonds. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
509 Do you mind if I ask you where bought that tie? 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
510 Trump's last Chief of Staff. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
511 They're serious about not hitting "Reply All." 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
512 And to our left, the Whistleblower of the Month. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
513 He always exaggerates -- he told me his hands were tied. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
514 Texting Aversion Therapy 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
515 I guess Frank won't be joining us for lunch today! 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
516 They say shunning didn't work. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
517 He was caught reading The Art of the Deal 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
518 He used to be in Bonds but now he's in Stocks. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
519 Frank wasn't very clear about his employee stock options in his contract. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
520 Harold's in stocks. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
521 His online dating profile says he's in stocks. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
522 Lucky bastard. The Fire Marshall denied a permit for the stake burning. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
523 So, latte with a straw for you, Phill? 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
524 Reply All. 1.3200 0.07631 75 59 8 8
525 Our nondisclosure agreement is pretty effective. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
526 That's the guy that farted in the elevator.. 1.3200 0.07631 75 59 8 8
527 He's into stocks and bondage. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
528 Now you see why I opted out of the company stock plan. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
529 He was in bonds, but now he's in stocks. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
530 "Psst! Over here... scratch my nose! 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
531 I guess someone does read the suggestion box after all. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
532 You DID mute your cellphone, right? 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
533 He finished the coffee and didn't start a fresh pot. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
534 Supposedly, his passwords are lacking in non-alphanumeric characters. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
535 As you can see, our employee stock program isn't always an option. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
536 I guess that's part of the new restrictions on lobbyists. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
537 What's that tie say, "Make America Great Again!? 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
538 He spoiled the ending of Game of Thrones. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
539 Looks like stocks are up again this week. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
540 What's old is new again! 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
541 He misunderstood the stocks option. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
542 Yes, the stock plan is a little restrictive 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
543 I just hate conceptual art. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
544 Well it wasn't for not wearing a tie. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
545 It discourages bank employees from opening unauthorized accounts. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
546 Trump Tower: Week 33 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
547 I'm not sure about our new HR director. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
548 Don't screw up here. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
549 I think I'll pass on the stock options here. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
550 That's what you get for microwaving fish in the lunch room. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
551 Not the employee art show again. 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
552 Burned popcorn in the microwave. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
553 I guess he signed up for the new stocks option plan. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
554 He's a Trump Tower greeter. 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
555 Well, it's not prison but I guess it's a step towards corporate responsibility. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
556 When he opted for stock options, he should have read the fine print. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
557 The teak wood is a nice touch. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
558 It's like the subway -- don't make eye contact. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
559 If they offer you stock options - don't take them 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
560 The tie makes it, don't you think? 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
561 He wasn't a team player. Are you a team player? 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
562 I like the old State Department. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
563 He complimented some woman's haircut. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
564 I liked it better when they would just hang the exhibits 1.3151 0.07773 73 58 7 8
565 The compliance department found online shaming ineffective. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
566 Good morning, Bob. How's it hangin'? 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
567 I liked it better when "employee of the month" was just a picture 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
568 We offer a variety of stock options. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
569 He didn't have an appointment. 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
570 Bill is the head of our company's board. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
571 Oh, he's a part of the board. 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
572 He told old man Winthrop he wanted a stock option during his annual review. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
573 A stark reminder of the careless use of "Reply to All". 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
574 oh that reminds me, make sure you have your ID badge visible at all times. 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
575 We're all worried about the market, Dave, but technically that's a pillory. 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
576 There aren't many mascot options for a stock company. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
577 I'm glad I didn't take the stocks option. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
578 Say what you like about the president but you can't deny stocks are up again. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
579 I liked the large potted plant better. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
580 Human Resources is trying a new public shaming policy. 1.3151 0.07773 73 58 7 8
581 It's our way of treating sexual harassment 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
582 Make sure you read the fine print on the employee stock plan. 1.3125 0.06761 48 33 15 0
583 Do not take office supplies home with you. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
584 Now that's a real stock broker! 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
585 Replied to all. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
586 That's Johnson. His projections were way off. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
587 His online dating profile said he was in stocks. 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
588 One too many 'reply all's 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
589 I know they call it a 'hostile takeover', but still... 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
590 'He leaked a White House story.' 1.3099 0.07663 71 56 8 7
591 He spoiled the Game of Thrones finale. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
592 Maybe I won't take the stock option. 1.3099 0.07663 71 56 8 7
593 If they ask you about stock options, just say no. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
594 It's interesting. But it's no Picasso. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
595 I see that Lewis brought up the subject of corporate ethics again. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
596 He went with the public stock option. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
597 I thought you said he was into bonds, not stocks. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
598 He rode the elevator down one floor. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
599 That's why we don't hit "reply all" 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
600 He has to do that for 5 minutes a day for losing $7 billion on the European tomato crop. 1.3099 0.07663 71 56 8 7
601 Josh mentioned he felt trapped in his current position. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
602 He's the head of the board. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
603 I see Smith forgot his login again. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
604 It's a trainer cubicle. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
605 He beat the boss at Golf. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
606 He asked for a standing desk. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
607 He won "The Apprentice: Plymouth Rock." 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
608 It was his third "Reply All." 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
609 We're trying a new employee retention program. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
610 We settled out of court 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
611 See, I told you that's what happens when you don't read the terms of agreement. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
612 It's part of the "Make America Great Again" plan. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
613 Is that Cole in your stocking? 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
614 He just wants his nose scratched. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
615 Oh, how nice, they finally replaced the Confederate soldier on horseback. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
616 I agree. His tie is too long. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
617 "Put your hands together for management" -- That was cruel, Mavis. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
618 But he used a private email server! 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
619 I know it looks excessive, but it did solve the "reply-all" problem. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
620 I guess he misunderstood when I advised him to get into stocks. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
621 The artist is calling that performance piece, "Make America Great Again." 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
622 So, you want to get together later? 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
623 Do NOT "reply all" 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
624 He used the wrong pronoun again. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
625 Bonds must be down the hall. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
626 Looks like someone finally got caught pinching lunches from the fridge. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
627 Looks like Bill used 'reply-all' again... 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
628 We will do anything to keep a customer. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
629 The golden handcuffs weren't working anymore. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
630 Actually, it was my idea. If you pull on his tie, he'll give you our current stock value. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
631 The boss doesn't get satire. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
632 It looked better in the catalog. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
633 Vetting is getting tougher. He's on the rack next. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
634 HE MISUNDERSTOOD WHEN THEY OFFERED HIM THE STOCK OPTION. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
635 Yeah, I always recommend bonds over stocks. 1.3043 0.07809 69 55 7 7
636 And the best part is they let us hit him whenever we want. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
637 He used Comic Sans. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
638 He always wanted to do standup. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
639 Another guy who hit "reply all" to a company-wide message again! 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
640 Things just aren't the same since Roger Ailes left. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
641 Sure, they lock in the interest rate, but those stocks aren't going anywhere. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
642 It's not a good time to get into stocks. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
643 It's for employees who should think more about thinking outside of the box. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
644 'Round here, when you finish the coffee, you make more. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
645 Enough already, Harold. Just admit you're a witch. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
646 I told him to stop speaking truth to power 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
647 It's temporary, we have a new guy starting next week. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
648 Ever heard of the phrase, "No good deed goes unpunished"? 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
649 I thought Harold was in bonds. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
650 He kept hitting reply-all. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
651 No fees...ha I knew there was a catch 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
652 Corporate says they're going to leave him there until morale improves. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
653 This is corporal headquarters, after all. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
654 If they offer you stock options, make sure to read the fine print. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
655 Please don't feed the interns. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
656 Yeah, the stock options here are a real embarrassment. 1.3043 0.08077 69 56 5 8
657 Imagine if it had been a hostile takeover. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
658 Admitted he voted for Trump. 1.3043 0.07809 69 55 7 7
659 That's the last time he'll microwave fish at the office. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
660 It's one of those new 'standing desks.' 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
661 Sometimes low tech is better than high tech. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
662 That's just Art being art! 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
663 The stocks are up today 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
664 I preferred the Ficus Tree. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
665 Polka dot tie with chinos, i think he got off easy. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
666 microwaved fish three days in a row. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
667 Rule 1: Don't tweet about the boss. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
668 It may seem cruel, but he won't be asking about stock options anymore. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
669 We are getting deli. Want us to bring you something? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
670 And here we have our work metaphor. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
671 He asked IT for a Mac 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
672 The CEO is from an old New England Puritan family. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
673 That's the new guy. I think he's in stocks. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
674 The tie seems redundant. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
675 I mean, If you ask me, he got off easy. He drank Barbara's half-and-half right out of the carton for goodness sakes. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
676 That's the Equifax rep. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
677 We got him from the Stock Exchange 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
678 I think maybe he chose the wrong stock option 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
679 He typed his emails with all caps. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
680 He's going through a Middle-Aged Crisis. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
681 I didn't use your goddamn cup Helen 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
682 I hate live art week. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
683 Strange, he doesn't look like a Dreamer. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
684 Walter has stolen his last pen. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
685 Plant-watering is unionized. He didn't know. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
686 Waiting for appointments here is borderline torture. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
687 Our stock options aren't very popular with employees. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
688 He's on hold. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
689 Yeah, these kids complain, but it's free experience. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
690 Look! You both have the same tie. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
691 Late payment penalty. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
692 He's not trans and used the wrong bathroom. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
693 He actually used the word "covfefe" at the board meeting. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
694 We're really starting to feel the cutbacks. That used to be a guillotine. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
695 Don't let them fool you when they tell you about stock options. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
696 Everyone thinks we're stockbrokers. We MANUFACTURE stocks. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
697 That's what you get for being who you are... 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
698 That's so analogue. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
699 That's not even Equifax's real CEO. He hired a body double. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
700 He should've realized not every Undercover Boss reveal is going to be uplifting. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
701 I heard last year he went all out for bonds. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
702 I heard he put fish in the microwave. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
703 It replaced the Jefferson Davis statue 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
704 It's Bring Your Fetish to Work Day. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
705 It's a little retro, but he'll never microwave fish in the breakroom again. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
706 Managements really pushing the stocks option. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
707 No. This is the bonds department. Why do you ask? 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
708 Remember, we're only interested in bonds. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
709 We're in the right place. This obviously is the Human Resources department. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
710 He wouldn't stop replying-all. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
711 Nice Plants 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
712 I suppose a New York Stock Exchange joke would be a little too obvious? 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
713 Those stand up desks don't look very comfortable to me. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
714 Oh... that's Willoughby. He's in stocks... 1.2923 0.07821 65 52 7 6
715 The management wants to get back to the time when America was great . . . 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
716 Corporate, corporal, what is the difference? 1.2923 0.08123 65 53 5 7
717 He violated our open communication policy by being open. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
718 And when management asks for suggestions... don't. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
719 Only way to keep him off his damn cell phone. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
720 That's Bob from Accounting. He won S&M Employee of the Month. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
721 Wow, tough over-draft penalties. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
722 I never liked that tie. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
723 Since we put Pat in the pillory... employee handbook compliance has improved by 87.5%. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
724 We offer restricted stock options 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
725 He got the speaker and mute buttons confused. 1.2857 0.07977 63 51 6 6
726 He's our buy-and-hold stocks trader. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
727 I started out as a stock boy myself 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
728 It's just for show until there's a new POTUS in the White House. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
729 Actually, our greeters find it helps their posture 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
730 Enhanced interview techniques. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
731 They'll hang any old thing and call it art. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
732 It's on loan from MOMA. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
733 Finally! A fitting punishment for white-collar crime. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
734 He just returned from a North Korean intensive training seminar. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
735 It turned out he was a "no" man. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
736 His daddy is trying to limit the damage he can do. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
737 That's old Jonesey. He took the last cup of coffee and didn't brew a new pot. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
738 He's a scientist 1.2857 0.08292 63 52 4 7
739 His password didn't have a special character. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
740 I'll never understand ergonomics. 1.2857 0.07977 63 51 6 6
741 He took a knee during the national anthem. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
742 Hey Bob, is working in stocks everything you hoped it would be? 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
743 Jerry made the mistake of speaking out against the new standing desk policy. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
744 Used the ladies washroom AND left the seat up. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
745 Heard they even used his own desk. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
746 Well I guess we know who definitely isn't Employee of the Month! 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
747 That performance evaluation had to have sucked. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
748 Poor bastard. They caught him attending a Trump rally. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
749 His things will be out of your office by the time you start. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
750 The original is at MOMA. This reproduction isn't nearly as moving. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
751 Another failed hedge fund manager who couldn't keep out of stocks. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
752 He should not have said that women aren't as good as men in math 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
753 It's our latest anti-smoking product. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
754 I think I prefer the the old Emplyee of the Month program. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
755 He's in the Wells Fargo management trainee program. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
756 No matter how many times he wears it, I'll never get used to that skinny tie. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
757 The SEC's idea of slapping some wrists. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
758 Apparently, he defended the first amendment at this morning's Oval Office meeting. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
759 Everyone is super friendly but be sure to make a new pot of coffee if you take the last cup. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
760 Sad about Jacobson... he should have taken the early retirement package. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
761 HR says we can't yank his tie. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
762 Performance evaluations do need to have real consequences. 1.2857 0.05737 63 45 18 0
763 The boss asked for his honest opinion. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
764 He thought they said stock options. 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
765 You should see his parking space. 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
766 That's funny, I always thought he was in bonds... 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
767 Fitting perhaps...He did work in the stock market. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
768 They did call it an old-fashioned employee stock plan. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
769 It's part of our new loyalty program. 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
770 The Salem office is very puritanical. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
771 And I should probably add that our company has a fairly strict punctuality policy. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
772 Oh. He's in stocks & bonds. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
773 'And THAT"S what happens when you take other people's lunches from the staff refrigerator.' 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
774 We used the ancient design, and updated it with various ergonomic features. 1.2812 0.06087 64 47 16 1
775 This bank is very strict about paying back the loan 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
776 That reminds me. Did you get parking validated? 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
777 We're not your maids Rob, next time wash up your coffee cup. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
778 Oh, that's Mike from stocks and bonds. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
779 He could have gotten the axe. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
780 The new stock options aren't as attractive as they used to be. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
781 Everywhere you look it's Game of Thrones. 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
782 He kept saying "At the end of the day..." 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
783 He should have read the fine print before he went for the employee stock option. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
784 Looks like the stock is back up. 1.2812 0.07864 64 52 6 6
785 A leaker. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
786 Apparently he refused to use a standing desk. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
787 Not stocks. And a lot of people make that mistake. It's actually a pillory. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
788 Yeah, but you should see the bonds. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
789 Be sure to carefully review your stock release form. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
790 He was late to the employee appreciation luncheon. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
791 And at lunch, we have to stone him. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
792 Working here at the History Channel is exhilarating until you screw up. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
793 I tried to tell him the employee stock option was not such a great deal. 1.2787 0.08142 61 50 5 6
794 He had a choice of tie in or tie out. Big mistake. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
795 That's our CFO. We free him on days when the stock is up. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
796 He was in stocks before anyone else. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
797 They say he took a 61 minute lunch hour. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
798 He asked for feedback. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
799 For some reason Boss still thinks Johnson is a Witch. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
800 Worst employee of the month? 1.2787 0.05788 61 44 17 0
801 He asked his "secretary" to get him a cup of coffee. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
802 So I see, Bob decided to participate in the company's stock option. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
803 I thought it was stocks and bonds, not stocks and bondage. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
804 It may be art, but I still say it's cruel. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
805 Never tell anyone how you voted. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
806 That's actually a promotion. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
807 He went to his boss and demanded stock options. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
808 He asked once too often for a more visible position. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
809 Poor guy, he can't even text. 1.2787 0.08142 61 50 5 6
810 It’s voluntary. He’s comes here to unplug. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
811 He stole someone's lunch from the fridge. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
812 Oh, Jack replied all. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
813 There was something fishy about his saying he was an expert in stocks. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
814 Don't worry Susan, that only happens if you can't pay back the loan 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
815 He asked if prescription drugs really needed to be priced so high. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
816 It's on loan from MOMA. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
817 He's being pilloried for rejecting the company's stocks. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
818 By the way, try not to be late on your first day. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
819 Stick with bonds. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
820 The company just started a new stock incentive plan. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
821 Just a binder, fortunately... You know what happens when they take a stapler. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
822 This is Stocks. Wait'll you see Bonds. 1.2742 0.08022 62 51 5 6
823 I guess 'stocks option' wasn't a typo, after all. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
824 He was told, 'your password must contain one upper case letter.' Didn't listen. 1.2742 0.07685 62 50 7 5
825 It's a phased retirement option. 1.2742 0.07685 62 50 7 5
826 Gil is the new head of our Stocks unit. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
827 I like a place with good old-fashioned values. 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
828 Another whistleblower. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
829 He threatened to unfollow POTUS on Twitter. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
830 "Can't they just say: 'you're fired' ". 1.2727 0.08823 44 35 6 3
831 He got tired of feeling chained to his post, so we found a new position for him. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
832 All I said was that he should think about getting into some stocks. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
833 Glad I didn’t win Employee of the Month. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
834 Oh, that's Fred. Don't make eye contact. All he does is complain about neck pain. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
835 I see stocks are back up. 1.2712 0.08315 59 49 4 6
836 The new HR director comes from our New England Office. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
837 These overdraft penalties are getting ridiculous. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
838 He refused to open fake accounts. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
839 I don't know what he was thinking. That tie does not go with oak. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
840 Ok, now lets find the guy who's in bonds. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
841 It's just the new guy on the block. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
842 He peed without lifting the toilet seat in the unisex bathroom. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
843 Our entire office now knows to be more careful about what we Tweet. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
844 I heard he voted Republican. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
845 Let's not forget to have our parking validated. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
846 I see we're relying on common stocks again. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
847 He said "Mister" instead of "President." 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
848 Well, looks like stocks are up again. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
849 Don't feel sorry for him. I know for a fact he also voted for Trump as well. 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
850 The company has strict rules on locking the key in the bathroom. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
851 I understand he said good morning to one of the secretaries and winked. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
852 You'll want to be sure you really understand the new employee stock option. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
853 You may want to pass on the stock options. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
854 I heard he entered the incorrect email password three times. 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
855 Oh yea...and don't ever park in the CEO's spot. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
856 I think I'll stick with bonds. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
857 The new boss is said to be old school. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
858 I liked the guillotine display much better. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
859 The Bond Department is more creative 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
860 Leon is showing such great restraint! 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
861 I guess stocks are down today. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
862 Ron's the new regional Vice President of Inhuman Resources. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
863 When I said to buy art for the building, I didn't mean Art Goldberg 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
864 Looks like Dan hit 'Reply All' again. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
865 It's a promotion for our stocks and bonds department. 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
866 I thought public shaming was online these days. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
867 He "replied-all" to a company-wide memo. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
868 Please... No stockholder jokes. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
869 Trump caught him telling the truth! 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
870 By the way, we don't talk about Trump or the Russian investigation around the here. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
871 I told him not to take the stock option. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
872 This standing desk fad is out of control. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
873 The bank sure wasn't lying about the penalty for late payments. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
874 We like to think of it as more of a stock incentive program. 1.2632 0.08498 57 48 3 6
875 Fred used the same password two days in a row. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
876 Yes, we're the first stocks-and-bondage company on Wall Street. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
877 How do you adjust the new standing desk? 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
878 Stocks or bondage? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
879 Our HR Department has decided to just skip all the pretense. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
880 Employee of the month. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
881 I believe your exact words were, "Just click 'Ok,' no one ever reads these." 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
882 Todd works well under pressure. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
883 Robert's wanted to work in stocks and bonds since grad school. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
884 They don't like to fire people here. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
885 His job is punishing. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
886 He's recently moved up from working in stocks. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
887 Just try turning it on and off before calling them this week - the IT guys are playing Dungeons and Dragons again. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
888 Glad to see The Paperclip Incident is handled properly. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
889 I see the company stocks are up again. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
890 Yeah, they finally found who was leaving the empty toilet paper rolls. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
891 He was heavily into stocks and bondage. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
892 He wore the same tie two days in a row. 1.2632 0.08121 57 47 5 5
893 Did I mention the stock options? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
894 He exercised his stock option. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
895 In the old days they just chained you to your desk. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
896 How embarrassing - everyone knows the tip of the tie should just reach the bottom of the pillory. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
897 He's in for multiple offenses - ransacking other's lunch bags and ending every email with an emoji 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
898 He got into the wrong stocks. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
899 Another case of Reply All. 1.2632 0.08498 57 48 3 6
900 He's heavily invested in stocks. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
901 They finally caught the 4th floor fridge bandit. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
902 His boss overheard him saying she was stacked 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
903 Insider trading. He got the stocks. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
904 Looks like it really is the time to be in stocks. 1.2632 0.08498 57 48 3 6
905 Ohh; Don't forget to put your phone on silent. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
906 That's just Mr. Smithers. He's in "Stocks and Bondage". 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
907 We call it Feudal Friday. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
908 He didn't meet the quota 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
909 I find the vine-ripened rotten tomatoes stick better... 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
910 Here we do stocks, next door they're into bonds. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
911 We caught him using a flip phone. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
912 He wouldn't sign Trump's loyalty pledge. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
913 Mike decided to exercise his stock options. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
914 Jones has been into stocks for years 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
915 For a bank, they're pretty strict about overdrawing your account. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
916 He's the first recipient of the Not The Employee Of The Month Award. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
917 That's Jim, he's our stocks guy. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
918 Frank has always been the laughing stock of the office. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
919 He has to stop hitting 'Reply to all.' 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
920 Great art requires moral vision. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
921 He used the word "overtime." 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
922 I prefer bonds. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
923 I wonder how he got his tie on... 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
924 You've gotta watch your neck around here! 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
925 I always suspected Bob was a witch. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
926 He's our latest public stocks offering. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
927 Oh, he didn't do anything. It's just bad art. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
928 Guess Bob won't be resistance tweeting from his work computer again any time soon. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
929 That must be the new management stock option. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
930 Oh that? It's listed in your employment contract, under; "Stock-Options" 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
931 He voted for pillory. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
932 Must be Staff HumiliationWeek again 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
933 He thought "internment" meant he'd be an intern. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
934 He's a Luddite and was punished accordingly. 1.2632 0.08121 57 47 5 5
935 Gosh, looks like Bob missed the budget deadline. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
936 Obviously guilty of insider stocks trading and unlawful lobbying. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
937 He replied all 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
938 He wrote a memo about diversity. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
939 The company stock is holding steady today. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
940 He put everything in stocks. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
941 Say what you want, but employee productivity has improved. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
942 Apparently he said "let them eat cake" at the holiday party. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
943 Yup, George got employee of the month. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
944 We might need to manage the optics of this. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
945 There's a very strict 'no pleats' policy. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
946 Talk over me in this meeting, and you're next, Roger. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
947 Oh, that's Phil. He works in Stocks & Bonds. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
948 He worked for Uber, Wells Fargo AND Equifax. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
949 He laughed during the confirmation hearing for the Attorney General. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
950 Ah, that explains the fire sale on rotten tomatoes in the company canteen. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
951 Must be the Monday morning cartoon contest 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
952 In Soviet Russia, stocks hold you. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
953 He fell for what they told us about posting employee suggestions. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
954 Our bonds provide more flexibility. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
955 Heating fish in the microwave....he deserves worse. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
956 You see Brian, this is what happens when you steal my lunch out of the office fridge. 1.2545 0.05928 55 41 14 0
957 The ducking stool was just too messy. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
958 He is an excellent motivational speaker. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
959 It's not that complicated, Phil. You finish a pot of coffee, you put on the next one. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
960 That reminds me, did we close the garage door? 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
961 Looks like they finally caught the sandwich thief. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
962 It's his own fault. He accepted the stock offer without reading the fine print. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
963 I'm not sure he knew what he was getting himself into when he answered our ad for a stock boy. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
964 He clicked 'Reply All' one too many times. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
965 They're finally doing something about people who heat up fish in the break room microwave. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
966 That sure puts a new spin on the idea of 'stock options.' 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
967 That's Kevin. He's our stock boy. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
968 This firm pillories like it is 1776. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
969 Is it just the way he's standing or is that an extra-long, skinny tie? 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
970 I know the boss recently figured out he's descended from King Edward I, but this is taking it too far. 1.2545 0.08295 55 46 4 5
971 Here at StockAid, we take a literal approach to marketing. Wait until you meet the branding team. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
972 I guess his stocks are performing well 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
973 Nobody picks stocks like Larry. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
974 Wow, I guess there really are severe penalties for early withdrawal from an IRA. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
975 Poor bastard's visitor pass expired. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
976 They checked his browser history. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
977 he's in Stocks and Bonds.. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
978 I just don't get Art these days. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
979 "I think his tie goes great with the oak". 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
980 Maybe next time Bill makes a coffee run, he will remember to get one for the boss. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
981 It was either that or more corporate training 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
982 I see Sturdevant cooked fish in the microwave again. 1.2545 0.08295 55 46 4 5
983 Well, he said he was shifting more to stocks. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
984 I hear you can get them on Amazon. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
985 It's called a firewall for a reason, Todd! 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
986 Bet you're sorry you asked for a standing desk now, aren't you Jenkins? 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
987 He said it was preferable to termination and loss of benefits. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
988 Too big to flail 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
989 He ordered a gluten-free lunch for the monthly staff meeting. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
990 I hear he asked for a standing desk. 1.2500 0.07750 56 46 6 4
991 He's learning to keep his hands to himself. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
992 The golden handcuffs weren't enough to keep him here. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
993 We have a real sick Employee-of-the-Month program. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
994 He complained about the boss on his Facebook page. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
995 Employee of the month wasn't sufficiently motivating. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
996 You think that's bad, you should see the guy in bonds. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
997 He didn't contribute to the retirement gift, but signed the card. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
998 When the boss says to turn off your phone during a meeting, you turn off your phone. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
999 And bonds. He's into bonds too. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1000 I hear there is a new HR Manager. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1001 Bob was nice to a customer, I hear. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1002 That must be one of those "standing desks" that everyone has been talking about. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1003 It was either that for five lunch hours or a three hundred million dollar fine 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1004 Boy the penalty for early withdrawal is pretty severe at this bank 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
1005 Ignore him. He just does it to get sympathy. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1006 Some people would do anything to avoid lunch with the boss. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1007 He's the stock boy. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1008 He heated up fish in the microwave. Don't do that. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1009 Don't even think about texting during the meeting. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1010 Employee handbook mentioned something about a "company stocks plan" 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1011 Our Employee of the Month program is a bit different than yours. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1012 Looks like Ed forgot to grab his x-rated copies off the copy machine again... 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1013 Performance Art. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1014 Still going to take the last cup of coffee and not make a new pot, Jenkins? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1015 And over there's our poor performance art. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1016 HR is going back to basics. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1017 He "replied all" to every email. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1018 He asked for interest on his savings account. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1019 And you’ll be eligible for the employee stocks program. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1020 I guess he wasn't too big to fail after all. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1021 I hear he hit Reply All. 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
1022 Must be TBT. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1023 This office really frowns upon tardiness. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1024 Regulations are more stringent than ever before. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1025 Another modern art installation I don't understand. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1026 It was either that or a severance package. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1027 His name is "Robert Lee", so it just felt right. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1028 Oh, more likely than not, he's an actor, just one of those psych tests HR is always cooking up. Can't decide whether to say something. I don't want to look callous, but don't want to look like a softie either with that promotion in the works. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
1029 The coffee is for clients only. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1030 What do they do about out-of-style ties in your office? 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1031 Actually, I don’t think our no fish in the microwave policy goes far enough. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1032 It's one of our many stock options. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1033 It's part of our new HR mediation policy 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1034 Don't feel bad for him. He microwaved fish yesterday and burned his popcorn the day before that. 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
1035 Our office includes all the modern amenities, as well as some medieval shaming devices. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1036 I told him not to take the stock option. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1037 That's our company's stock option. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1038 Heated fish in the 5th floor microwave. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1039 HR is really stepping it up 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1040 Public humiliation. It's management's new "Face your fears" initiative. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1041 He microwaved fish I the lunch room. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1042 and definitely don't microwave fish in the break room 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1043 He ate the boss's yogurt AND heated fish in the microwave. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1044 I've heard he's a mole. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1045 I can remember when "Employee of the Month" was a badge of honor. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1046 Look, honey! That's the employee of the month! 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1047 It's one reason I went into bonds. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1048 Kushner is in more trouble than he realizes. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1049 He asked for a stock option. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1050 Not enough "likes" on the website this week, huh Greg? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1051 The early withdrawal penalties in this bank are draconian. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1052 Another transfer from our Salem office. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1053 We told the intern it's a retro pilates machine. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1054 That's Gregory, he's in stocks. Wait until you meet Jerry, who's in bonds. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1055 That tie is not doing anything for him. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1056 He's in stocks. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1057 And that's why we don't harass at the workplace. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1058 He said he wanted stock options. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1059 That's Barry from the stocksroom. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1060 I suppose you are wondering why we now have an open position at this firm... 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1061 oh fuck 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
1062 The other option is hanging around. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1063 In the Stocks and Bonds Dept., this is their idea of a two-week vacation. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1064 That is what happens when you choose stocks over bonds. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1065 Easy choice: pillory stock or another meeting. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1066 Looks like Bob microwaved fish again. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1067 I didn't realize Archer was so heavily invested in stocks. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1068 See? A long tie does make a man look thinner. 1.2444 0.08502 45 37 5 3
1069 Sorry, our broker advised us to avoid stocks for now. 1.2407 0.07447 54 44 7 3
1070 Reclaimed wood is so trendy right now. 1.2391 0.07730 46 37 7 2
1071 He just exercised his stock option. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1072 Karen in HR witnessed him clapping as the plane landed. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1073 Probably not his happy place. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1074 Nothing good ever comes of an inter-office bromance. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1075 Seems appropriate for a stockbroker. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1076 Stocks can be a good thing, or they can be a bad thing... remember that. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1077 Last week he was Trump's chief of staff. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1078 We're just trying out some new machines for the fitness center. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1079 ... and this is the fixed income division, although Ed is still in stocks 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1080 He said I looked nice today. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1081 Non-performance art 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1082 Our new HR Manager is a Puritan. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1083 I think we should stick with bonds only. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1084 He sent a meme to the entire company. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1085 That's the other stock option. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1086 He's sure they're safer than bonds. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1087 In this economy you'd be a fool to go into stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1088 Their smoking cessation program is a bit cruel,but quite effecrive. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1089 HR's gone medieval. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1090 That must be the new stock boy 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1091 Now that's what you call "inside the square." 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1092 I told you I had a weird feeling about the new human resources manager. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1093 . . . Yes, but you should have seen his emails. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1094 And here we have our preferred stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1095 Aren't we supposed to throw vegetables at him? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1096 It's always about "him." 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1097 We see the performance review as something from the Dark Ages 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1098 This isn’t what I envisioned when I heard about the new “employee of the week” program… 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1099 Bet he didn't expect that when he applied for the position in stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1100 We picked him up at the stock exchange. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
1101 When he started he was just a stockboy. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1102 I didn't think anybody would go for the new Stock Option Plan, but ... 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1103 We had a gallows but the board decided it was bad for recruitment. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
1104 Our guillotine factory named him the employee of the month. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1105 He adds historical gravitas to the workplace. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1106 Not surprising. Bannerman was overly fond of 'Reply All'. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1107 He's going through cell phone withdrawal. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1108 He was the one that hit reply all. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1109 Don't mind Richards. He refuses to follow the company on Facebook. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1110 Suddenly, stocks & bonds doesn't sound so sexy. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1111 He's our most productive employee. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1112 He serves at the pleasure of the president. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1113 It costs extra but it's worth it. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1114 He always said he was into stocks. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1115 khakis... 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1116 It's not real. There's one in every Trump property as a reminder to the employees. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1117 I see Wells Fargo is paying more attention to the suggestion box. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1118 The new guy looks like a good fit to me. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1119 He's the new stock boy. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1120 He burned popcorn again. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1121 That's Jeff. He works in stocks. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1122 Maybe now he'll stop leaving moldy sandwiches in the refrigerator. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1123 Looks like another sucker exercised his stock options 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1124 That's the IT guy. He gets stoned most lunch breaks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1125 Pull his tie and he will give you a stock tip. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1126 That's Greg. He's in stocks. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1127 This bank offers stock options! 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1128 They do offer stock options. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1129 That's Jim. He's in stocks and bondage. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1130 The feedback is not really anonymous. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1131 I guess that's what they meant by 'stocks are up under Trump.' 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1132 How do you like our living wall? 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1133 Is it art or is it company policy? 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1134 We used to use Facebook but it was just too cruel. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1135 Wow! Seems like only yesterday Tom was our 'Employee of the Month.' 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1136 They offered him a raise, but he said he preferred stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1137 What a shame to see Jim go from the stock market to the stockade. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1138 New CEO's tough. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1139 Well, they said there were penalties for early withdrawal 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1140 I'll be at the meeting in 20 lashes. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1141 I tried to put him into bonds, but he insisted. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1142 It has something to do with the company's insistence on Windsor ties." 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1143 He put recyclables in the trash. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1144 ...and we offer our own innovative "stock option" plan. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1145 It's the only way we can keep him from playing with his winkie. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1146 He's Employee of the Month for the Trump administration. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1147 He forgot to order the toner again. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1148 Fidget spinner. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1149 We think it gives our lobby a 'village square' feel. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1150 Actually it's the new 'stand up desk' from corporate. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1151 He kept using "reply all." 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1152 I told him he should stick to bonds. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1153 If you're uncomfortable, you may be better in bonds. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1154 Acquisitions. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1155 Yup, sexual harassment is down 25 percent. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1156 That's Smithers. Every Tuesday. We don't know why. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
1157 That tie doesn't go with his stocks. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1158 We think we've pretty well captured our target demographic. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1159 His broker put him in the wrong stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1160 Dave has a different take on Casual Friday 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1161 It never fails to amaze me what is considered art these days. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1162 Oh, oh. I think we'd better sign in. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1163 The HR Dept is now handling disciplinary problems in house. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1164 Trust me, venture capital punishment is much worse. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1165 He reminds us that eternal blame avoidance is the price of liberty. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1166 Not too bad if he's on the clock. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1167 Obviously, the stocks are on this floor so the bonds must be upstairs. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1168 He hit 'Reply All' one too many times. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1169 Read the fine print! 1.2353 0.08672 51 44 2 5
1170 Wells Fargo did the same thing to their CEO! 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1171 Don't choose the stock option. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1172 You just don't park in the CEO's spot. 1.2326 0.06519 43 33 10 0
1173 He's the last man standing in the publish and perish non-tenured hall of terror 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
1174 When he started his internship he had to chose between stocks and bonds 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
1175 Some things are never out of fashion. 1.2250 0.06687 40 31 9 0
1176 Why the tie...? 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1177 Product placement. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1178 Stock options aren't what they used to be. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1179 I told you stocks would go up this quarter. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
1180 Hendley provides stock answers to frequently asked questions. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1181 It's our employee stocks incentive. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1182 I warned him about microwaving fish in the breakroom. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1183 I see they finally caught the refrigerator thief. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1184 Apparently there are new stock options. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1185 It's the only way we could stop him tweeting in meetings. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1186 His stocks picks are abysmal. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1187 He put fish in the microwave. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1188 That's Harry...he's in charge of stocks and bondage. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1189 Is it intern season already? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1190 Come on. It's the lobby of Trump Tower. What do you expect? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1191 ...and, yes, stock options are available! 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1192 His punishment for a long necktie and small hands. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
1193 Obviously Not the Employee of the week. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1194 Last guy to use the suggestion box. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1195 They have a tough whistleblower policy! 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1196 I don't know about you, but this new "alternative" artwork in the lobby is starting to freak me out. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1197 He really wanted to go full-time. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1198 That's Frank. He spoiled 'Game of Thrones.' 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1199 I guess this is the stocks and bondage department. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1200 Last quarter it was bonds. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
1201 I hear it's on loan from the Whitney. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1202 Casual Friday is tomorrow, Bob. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1203 Ma'am, bonds and commodities are this way. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1204 I thought you said this company was into stocks. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1205 His stock wasn't optional. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1206 I understand this business subscribes to old fashioned values. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1207 That tie really brings out his eyes. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1208 They were going to fire him, but this seemed more fitting. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1209 Isn't that the guy Trump just hired? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1210 For new employees we have an innovative stock ownership program. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1211 He put everything into common stocks. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1212 So that's a stock option! 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
1213 Well, it's not the first time he's not contributed to the coffee fund. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1214 No more performance bonuses. Management's going all in on better to be feared than loved tactics. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1215 Looks like penalties for early withdrawal are getting worse and worse. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1216 Well, the CEO did promise that stocks would be going up. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1217 Apparently, he was still using My Space. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1218 This bank is really strict with their early withdrawal penalties. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1219 He's been locked in there ever since he suggested we change the formula of Coke... 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1220 Shaming is still our most powerful motivator here. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1221 I think that tie is a little much 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1222 Penalty for early withdrawal. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
1223 It's ergonomic. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1224 That? Our new boss is from Williamsburg Virginia. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1225 Were you promised stock options? 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1226 These stand-up workstations has cut absenteeism in half. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1227 Good news, stocks are up. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1228 Another newbie who didn't read the stock option policy. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1229 That'll be us if Tesla doesn't go above $400 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1230 No, it's Murphy from Marketing -- Stephens from Sales was hung last week. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1231 I hear there is very little insubordination in this Company 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1232 Our social media accounts must be down. That's the backup public shaming method. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1233 Things are changing fast here at Uber. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
1234 He ate Sharon's yogurt. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1235 That's where we display the Employee of the Month. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1236 The less fortunate got the severance package. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1237 It keeps the interns in check. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1238 Oh, Alex told the CEO the ending to the last episode of GAME OF THRONES before he could watch his recording. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1239 He's our new stock analyst. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1240 And you thought, "White-House Press Secretary, that's a job for Me?" Isn't that right, Mr. Spicer? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1241 His projections were off. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1242 I see management replaced the suggestion box. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1243 Oh, before I forget, we're out of eggs. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1244 Here at Equifax, we're 100% committed to unraveling any security breaches. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1245 Oh yeah, that reminds me. Don't heat up your leftover fish in the office. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1246 I don't know why "Reply all" is still even an option 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1247 To all new employees: We welcome your suggestions. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1248 Frankly, I prefer to be downsized. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
1249 John appears to have missed the minimum billable hour target yet again. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1250 Would it help if I loosened his tie. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1251 See, that's why I'm not in stocks, I'm in bonds. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1252 And the irony is, he was overweighted in bonds. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1253 He's our paid scapegoat. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1254 Yes, ties are a requirement of our business dress code policy. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1255 You know, I'm not sure bonds would be better. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1256 Yesterday it was bonds. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1257 I think I misunderstood when management announced the new employee stocks program. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1258 Mr. Stevens was our previous Morale Officer. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1259 Employee of the week isn't what it used to be. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1260 It's supposed to invoke second thoughts on bad work behavior but now people are doing bad things on purpose to get away from their desk for a few hours. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1261 Oh, and we don't post about the company's diversity initiatives. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1262 With our new employee retention policy we finally managed to stop the brain drain. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1263 Is that the guy who wrote the memo? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1264 The new guy is fitting in well. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1265 He sent an all-caps email. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1266 It's the new incentive plan. If our stock goes down, the stocks go up... 1.2245 0.08876 49 43 1 5
1267 That was the most humane way to get him to stop Tweeting. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
1268 He did say he wanted to get into stocks. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1269 Talk about being trapped in the office. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1270 Looks like they're setting up for another stock photo shoot. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1271 Just yesterday he was in bonds. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1272 As you can see, our employee retention plan includes stock options. As you can see our employee retention plan includes a stock option. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1273 Don't stare it makes him nervous. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1274 And a former employee of the month...sad 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1275 Yeech. He wore that same tie yesterday. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1276 Looks like someone didn't meet his numbers this month.. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1277 What? And ignore our history? 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1278 So it's true that stocks are making a comeback! 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1279 He was the loser of our fantasy football league. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1280 He keeps stealing office supplies 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1281 He used to be better at picking stocks 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1282 Hey, isn't that our stockbroker? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1283 It's part of the airlines' new seating program. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1284 He tried to reuse one of his seven most recent passwords. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1285 Is this the new ice bucket challenge? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1286 Intern? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1287 He liked the veneer but I persuaded him the solid oak is a better look. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1288 I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
1289 So, do you still want out of your contract? 1.2200 0.05918 50 39 11 0
1290 none of his incantations increased company sales 1.2195 0.08912 41 35 3 3
1291 Don't take the stock option. 1.2195 0.07418 41 33 7 1
1292 Ralph exercised his stock option. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1293 I warned him that he should have stayed in the bond market... 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1294 "I'm hearing after coffee break he'll be pelted with a variety of organically grown tomatoes". 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1295 They usually quit before we have to fire them. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1296 I wish I had the courage to refuse to submit my annual SMART goals. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1297 The local scuttlebutt has it that it's not personal---just business. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1298 It's the new employee orientation program. It they last the first 90 days, they're a keeper. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1299 And that's our new fixed arm offering. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1300 This is why we work in bonds. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1301 That's what you get for humming 'The Girl from Ipanema' in the elevator. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1302 Ralph changed our insurance plan to an HMO. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1303 I heard it was insider trading with the guys over in Jamestown. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1304 Looks like Congress amended the Dodd Frank penalties. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1305 It is a new policy, truth or consequences. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1306 Jeremy voted for Trump. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1307 He told Trump to stop tweeting. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1308 At least he wasn't drawn and quarterlied. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1309 This company has a very enlightened approach. Nobody is allowed to throw stones at him. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1310 He's committed all his money to stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1311 That’s for reheating fish in the lunch room microwave. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1312 Let me tell you about our unlimited vacation policy. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1313 He told his broker he wanted to get out of Bonds and into Stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1314 HR says we can't throw tomatoes, it was just a micro-aggression. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1315 I have to admit, Ted does pick spectacular stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1316 Their employee retention strategy is quite effective. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1317 If you think that's crazy, you should've seen the tar and feather display in the lunchroom 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1318 He asked Trump for a standup desk. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1319 He used to hustle Stocks & Bonds on the 5th Floor ...but now I guess he's just into stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1320 And I doubt you'll find a company with better stock options... 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1321 Odd, Usually the written warning gets through to them... 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1322 Damn late fees. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1323 We've revived the stockade. It's for members of the accounting department who refuse to embrace Generally Accepted Accounting Procedures. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1324 It's just Bernie. Pretend he's not there. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1325 He didn't refill the coffee pot....for the last time. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1326 They don't use the barrel anymore. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1327 Don't you think the tie is a little gauche? 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1328 That's one of the worst standing desks I've ever seen. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1329 Oh and never Reply All with just "LOL." Ever. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1330 This bank has very severe penalties for overdrafts! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1331 I guess he should have bought bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1332 I'll be honest, the stock options could be better. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1333 The "Golden Handcuffs" ain't what they used to be. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1334 When I said we had to retain our top talent I meant through financial means.... 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1335 The worst employee of the month. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1336 That has to be the worst stock option we've ever offered. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1337 I hear 'unpaid internment' looks good on a resume. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1338 This company makes public punishment an art form. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1339 He made an actual phone call, and followed it with a hand written note. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1340 Nobody wanted to be greeter. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1341 I'd loose the tie. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1342 ...and whatever you do, don't take anyone else's lunch from the fridge. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1343 That'll teach him to burn popcorn in the microwave. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1344 I moved to bonds; he's still in stocks. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1345 I had something else in mind when you said this company was a leader in stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1346 Did I mention that this firm is owned by Pilgrims? 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1347 Well, everyone started chanting "Lock him up!" after he deleted his junk e-mails... 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1348 Burned popcorn in the microwave. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1349 He said Trumps policies seem mid-evil! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1350 We're going back to the old system. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1351 Caught sexting during a board meeting. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1352 We do "Employee of the Month" a little differently here. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1353 He asked for a raise after only working here six years. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1354 Boy, those early withdrawal penalties are getting tougher. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1355 Third one this month caught not reading emails while on vacation. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1356 That's it, we're buying bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1357 I liked it better when he was a smoker. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1358 Is this performance evaluation day? 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1359 Apparently they are trying out new standing desks. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1360 Oh, the vibe here is definitely not Silicon Valley. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1361 Don't ask. No, seriously. Don't ask - not anything, not ever. Asking is out! 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1362 Jeffrey didn't think outside the box at the 9am meeting. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1363 Those are the stocks. Wanna see the bonds? 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1364 A long time ago we called it the time out chair. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1365 Well, it's better than the beatings they did to raise morale. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1366 Everyday here is torture. Isn't that right, Dan? 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1367 I preferred it when they just charged a fee for being overdrawn 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1368 The HR department must be on its annual retreat. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1369 I understand he wouldn't sign the voluntary arbitration agreement. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1370 Looks like our new, ergonomic standing desks have arrived. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1371 I've felt a lot safer since we outlawed Twitter. 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1372 He was caught microwaving fish. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1373 He needs to leave his personal life at home. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1374 That's what we do to Trump supporters 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1375 He wouldn't stop asking, 'Working hard or hardly working?' 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1376 He'll do just about anything to draw attention to himself. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1377 It’s actually better for your core than sitting at a desk all day. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1378 Nelson. 12th floor. FEMA. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1379 I told him he wouldn't like working here at The Colonial Williamsburg Foundation. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1380 He failed the phishing test. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1381 He took the last donut 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1382 We used to have a deer mounted to the wall but the boss thought it was too barbaric. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1383 They did say there was a penalty for early withdrawal. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1384 What? You've never seen a guy who works in stocks before? 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1385 As a career move it beats banishment. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1386 I heard they were increasing the penalty for early withdrawals. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1387 Stocks can be tricky if you're new to the market. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1388 He's a Trump supporter. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1389 Glad to see the company's finally cracking down on "reply all" abuse. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1390 The interior designer is off his meds again. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1391 I'm more of a "bond" man myself, if you know what I mean. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1392 There's a strict don't-make-eye-contact-in-elevator policy here. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1393 Are you certain this is the chiropractor? 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1394 Don't worry about him; he's got loads of stock options. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1395 I don't care. I'm still closing my Wells Fargo account. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1396 From Stock Analyst to Stockade in two weeks must be some kind of records 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1397 Think that's bad? You should see what the interns in bonds have to go through. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1398 Latest investment idea, stocks and bondage. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1399 It was that or a scarlet T. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1400 Each state has one: a public pillory for its legislators. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1401 Ms. Grey will see you now. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1402 We are currently testing version 2.0 of our standup desk model 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1403 That's an unusual combination of stocks and bonds 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1404 He's refusing to sign up for LinkedIn. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1405 Josh was transferred to Stocks and Bondage. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1406 Well, he goes by "Birk" if that is any help. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1407 I'd wait until 5:00 if I were you. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1408 Maybe he didn't totally get how the stocks option works here. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1409 It's part of our new policy for white male employees 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1410 Around here, we let the punishment fit the crime, and he's our stock broker. That's all I know, and all I want to know. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1411 I guess Ted's the one who's been microwaving fish in the break room. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1412 I plan to get one for my husband 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1413 I'm so done with work space S&M 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1414 that's the new guy from the Salem office 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1415 On the bright side, it has curbed those random break room fridge yogurt thefts. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1416 It's the latest shoplifting deterrent from IKEA--flat-pack stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1417 We get punished for using the term "climate change." 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1418 A word of warning: remember to never hit Reply All. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1419 Having stock options has definitely increased employee retention. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1420 Not allowing him to tweet is just plain cruel. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1421 Employee of the month is not all it's cracked up to be. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1422 The boss did warn him that if he mentioned "Harvard" one more time he'd put him into stocks. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1423 We pride ourselves on our friendly work environment. Just don't be late. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1424 Last week he was in bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1425 Whatever you do, don't cut in line 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1426 This firm comes highly recommended. I've been told that they take an unorthodox approach to stocks and bonds. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1427 Just ignore him. He had the audacity to suggest that Clinton lost because of Bernie. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1428 I warned him about reading the fine print before buying into the company's public stock offering! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1429 Being "Emplyee of the Month" isn't what it used to be. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1430 The memo said that the floggings will continue until John's moral improves. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1431 Much better results than those performance improvement plans we used to use. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1432 I'm not sure I like the tie. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1433 Is this their Salem office? 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1434 This is what happens when women take over 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1435 He'll never try to get us to dance the Macarena again at the office summer picnic! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1436 I thought our dental was bad too, until I saw the stock option. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1437 Do you think Stocks are the next big thing? 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1438 THAT'S the guy that didn't flush. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1439 Looks like Kevin finally bought those stocks. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1440 The stock options here are terrible. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1441 He clicked 'Reply All' one too many times. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1442 Oh, yeah, I forgot. It's For Shame Friday. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1443 That reminds me: another perk about this place is that you will almost never have your lunch stolen out of the break room fridge. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1444 Back when we were dating he was really into bonds. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1445 Someday Sven will learn not to microwave fish in the office. 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1446 That's his investment in stocks 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1447 Lucky bastard: I never got MY stock option. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1448 You have to admire his grit, but I think I would have just taken the severance and been on my way. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1449 I said 'Don't look at that guy in the stockade,' and you looked right at him! 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1450 It's a great place to work except for the public shaming. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1451 Don't be too quick to judge our corporate culture. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1452 He hit 'Reply All' one too many times. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1453 Nice tie, Herb. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1454 Poor George. He just wanted to take a vacation. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1455 Brings all new meaning to stocks and bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1456 He told the his team leader that her ideas were medieval. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1457 Jacobs got a little too casual last Friday 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1458 Boss caught him on Facebook again 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1459 That's Jensen. He was caught picking the low-hanging fruit. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1460 Three Reply-Alls and you are out. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1461 That's Bill from HR demonstrating our new flex work program 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1462 Dan always wanted to diversify into stocks. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1463 It’s to stop him from forwarding cat videos. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1464 Remember when "Employee of the Month" meant a simple photo on the wall? 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1465 As you can see, we offer generous stock options. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1466 See, there is such a thing as a stupid question. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1467 This shaming business is getting out of hand. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1468 He should have been in bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1469 They finally caught Mr. Fish-in-the-Microwave. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1470 He asked for his stock options. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1471 Our generous stocks options keep Bob around. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1472 He wrote a memo to Human Resources. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1473 Let's stick with bonds. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1474 I've never really understood the need to get into stocks. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1475 I thought it was an error in the job description, but apparently they do offer stockade options. 1.2143 0.07258 42 34 7 1
1476 That's what happens when you keep hitting "reply to all." 1.2143 0.07258 42 34 7 1
1477 He kept wearing a tie on Casual Fridays. 1.2143 0.07258 42 34 7 1
1478 I want that too, baby. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
1479 I had heard their stock was up 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
1480 I understand this is the training program for using one of those standup desks. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
1481 I you ask me management is taking 'Throwback Thursday' too far. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
1482 He didn't concur. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
1483 His company's stock just went public. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1484 HR needs to lighten up. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1485 I completely misunderstood when you told me that Ted worked in stocks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1486 Corporate punishment 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1487 I’m still unclear how it will raise overall productivity to reward the employee of the month with a holding in the company’s stocks. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1488 Boy, the boss is serious about not using his parking space. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1489 This time they are giving stocks instead of bonuses 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1490 That new whistle-blower policy is really bearing fruit 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1491 We're testing a logo to accompany the new slogan, "At Wells Fargo we are totally committed to the stock." 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1492 He mentioned in the Monday morning meeting he preferred Stocks over Bonds. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1493 Jerry is always saying it is a good time to be in stocks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1494 I guess he received his stock option. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1495 I told you not to wear that tie. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1496 Oh, one more thing- if you use the washroom, don't forget to return the key. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1497 It's our version of the stay-cation. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1498 So Herb is the new employee of the month. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1499 He's been trying to get a job here at Charles Schwab, but I don't think he's clear on what we do. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1500 Phil elected for old stock option. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1501 It's back to basics on in-house affairs. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1502 Right. That company claims it always has everything in stock. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1503 He replied all to ten office-wide email chains; I'd be fine if they cut his hands off. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1504 To promote healthier work habits we're encouraging employees to spend more time on their feet. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1505 This company takes email etiquette very seriously. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1506 I told you, No good deed goes unpunished . 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1507 The stock plan here kind of sucks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1508 I heard he was into stocks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1509 He was trading insider stockades. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1510 The irony. A fraudulent stock broker is placed in the stocks. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1511 So don't even THINK about surfing the internet while you're on the clock. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1512 I TOLD you you shouldn't have let him assemble the standing desk himself! 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1513 He made personal copies on the office copier. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1514 He only does stocks. If you want bonds you have to go to another broker. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1515 'That's what Carl gets for not re-filling the meade in the pantry.' 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1516 Not the stock options you had in mind Johnson? 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1517 Maybe now he'll think twice about stealing Rachel's yogurts from the lunch room. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1518 I guess he asked for a raise again. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1519 I told him to stay out of stocks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1520 Steve took the last cup of coffee and didn't brew a new pot. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1521 So much for "Take No Prisoners". 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1522 He knew the rules. My yogurt was clearly labeled. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1523 ...and you'll stay there until you can learn the difference between 'reply' and 'reply all'. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1524 Bonds I get, but I didn't know stocks were back. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1525 Saw him arguing with the receptionist about an hour ago. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1526 I've always avoided stocks and bondage. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1527 That reminds me...never park in the CEO's space. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1528 It's helped tremendously with employee cell phone addiction. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1529 Pardon me, can you tell me how long you can hold my husband? I have a lot of shopping to do. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1530 I'd be back from lunch on time if I were you. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1531 He didn't order the fair trade coffee 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1532 This new waiting room certainly sends a message. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1533 This is what happens when we stop regulating the stockade market 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1534 If I were you, I'd cancel the request for the standing desk 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1535 I preferred the "time out" chair. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1536 I don't think that's what he meant when he said he wanted to be in stocks... 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1537 The impacts of getting "Needs Improvement" on the performance review certainly have changed here! 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1538 Oh, we'll let him out after the board votes. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1539 Looks like the stocks are up again. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1540 That's the stocks. Where are the bonds? 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1541 The boss definitely doesn't like that style tie. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1542 Walter lost another men's room key. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1543 Perhaps he has some interesting stock tips. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1544 Modern art is getting harder to understand. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1545 Worst performance evaluation ever... 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1546 You should see the guy who sells bonds. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1547 I'm guessing he'll never take Helen's sandwich again. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1548 White shoes after Labor Day. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1549 He refuses to train his replacement. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1550 It's a new corporate policy, for not meeting your goals, as suggested by the current political administration 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1551 As you can see Miss Johnson, we have a vigorous H.R. department. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1552 Our corporate ethos is one of complete transparency. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1553 Oh him? He is just the lone conservative here at Google. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1554 Stock analyst. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1555 He asked that we put him into stocks, and we always oblige our clients. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1556 He chose the wrong stock option. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1557 I told him months ago he'd be better off trading bonds or T-bills! 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1558 It cuts down on sexual harassment. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1559 I prefer Norman Rockwell over this new performance art. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1560 The benefits are great, but I don't usually recommend the stock option plan 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1561 He wore a tie on 'Casual Friday. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1562 Yeah, Jeff hit "reply all" again. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1563 My guess is, we'll see a lot fewer Reply All's coming out of him. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1564 French art..I don't get it. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1565 They take stocks to a ridiculous degree here. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1566 Thats IT's Employee of the Month. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1567 See Lisa,that's what happens when you ask for a raise. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1568 Summer intern. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1569 It's the Anti-Employee of the Month Award. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1570 Just a reminder, our CEO does not want your questions during the obligatory Q&A. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1571 I guess the swear jar didn't work. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1572 He felt the need to take stock of the situation. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1573 Shaming on social media has nothing on the good old ways. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1574 You'll see we take customer service very seriously. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1575 Our CEO IS very old school. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1576 Looks like our stocks are up today. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1577 Don't you love our interview system. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1578 They fired him last week, but he refuses to leave. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1579 Oh, he's an advocate of a 35 hour work week. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1580 How much did you say corporate spent on this employee motivation program? 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1581 He's one of those people who supported Trump even after his Impeachment and incarceration 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1582 We take the dress code seriously around here. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1583 I told him to just keep quiet and sign the Loyalty Oath. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1584 I hate when Todd has to let everyone know he stays here overtime 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1585 For myself, I think it takes the whole retro thing too far... 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1586 Poor guy. His stocks are down AND he made a poor tie choice. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1587 Stocks and bonds, stocks and bonds. Is that all there is to life? 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1588 Latest intern. Screwed up the boss's lunch order. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1589 I hope he knows a good stockbreaker 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1590 Finally, the boss's son found his little niche. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
1591 Stock options are made available to underperformers here. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1592 Do you see why I try not to make eye contact with anyone at the office? 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1593 Its not so bad. He works at a stand-up desk. 1.1915 0.07222 47 40 5 2
1594 I just added rotten tomatoes to my mental grocery list. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1595 The Trump organization is very serious about its incentive plans for its employees, as you can see. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1596 Looks like Gary put fish in the microwave again. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1597 He was discovered using a flip phone. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1598 Intern? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1599 Apparently they hold your deposit until you return the vehicle. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1600 That is his safe space. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1601 H.R. caught him man-splaining again... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1602 He took his shoes off at his cubicle. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1603 Jim Replied All again. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1604 Let's not fall into that trap. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1605 That's Bob. You'll be taking over for him in stocks once you learn the ropes... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1606 trump cabinet performance art 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1607 Can you hear me now? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1608 I miss the days of administrative leave. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1609 This wouldn't happen at Wells Fargo! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1610 That’s Jim from corporate. He thought we were serious about wanting to disrupt the industry. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1611 Stocks and Shares. Know the difference. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1612 Ask him why you need to sign your time sheet. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1613 Looks like someone forgot to pretend to be happy. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1614 Is it performance art if they can't move? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1615 So THAT'S who's been taking all the brown sugar packets. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1616 Like I said, divorces are our specialty. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1617 He accused HR of being too Puritanical. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1618 Actually opened his kimono. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1619 I guess Bill finally figured out who has been taking his sandwiches 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1620 I hear he didn't answer his emails on the weekend. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1621 That's Lynch. He used to be in bonds. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1622 Thanks to his signature buck teeth, he got nailed for taking bites out of several people's sandwiches in the communal fridge. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1623 That's the boss's version of a 'time-out'! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1624 The upright posture helps you stay limber. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1625 Looks like he didn't make his quota of collusion with Russia denials. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1626 The company stocks are up 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1627 They've improved the waiting area. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1628 He tried to leave early on Friday, again. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1629 He picked the wrong stocks. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1630 That's why I recommend bonds 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1631 Maybe now he'll stop abusing "reply all" 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1632 He took the last of the coffee and didn't make more. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1633 No, he doesn't work here... he just likes to hang around. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1634 There's still a stock market? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1635 He requested a raise and got a stock answer. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1636 Reply All. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1637 Gave out the bathroom code. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1638 They say it boosts morale to see others have it worse. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1639 He wore fleece on casual Fridays. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1640 He kept hitting reply-all. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1641 How many times do I have to tell you? it's a pillory, not the stocks! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1642 Caught him not washing his hands in the men's room. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1643 Yeah, somebody over at the FTC recently discovered irony. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1644 Complaint department. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1645 That's a bit harsh, don't you think? For just wearing white after Labor Day. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1646 Don't let our company mascot fool you. The stock options here are very competitive. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1647 This way, he'll never "circle back" again. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1648 Nobody wanted the Greeter job. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1649 They're taking this 'Employee of the Month' thing a bit too far. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1650 Poor Vickers. He thought the 's' in 'stocks option' was just a typo. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1651 When he said he was going into stocks, I thought he was becoming a broker! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1652 Apparently he was humming Christmas tunes in July 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1653 They're calling it "hands-off management." 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1654 You have to appreciate gallows humor to work around here. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1655 The employee of the month gets to choose one. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1656 He watched 'Game of Thrones' at his desk again. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1657 You look like you deserve it. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1658 He forgot where he was and told JB that Trump is a money grubbing narcissistic moron. Unfortunately, that pretty much describes JB. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1659 At least our lunches will be safe today. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1660 Doesn't he know his tie isn't supposed to go lower than the stocks? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1661 I see our stock is up again. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1662 No penalty for early withdrawal, my ass! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1663 ...and I believe you're already familiar with LEAN management? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1664 Seems a little retro - is that Faceboard? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1665 He missed the sign "You're Locked In" thinking it was a bank investment rate. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1666 Where have all the flowers gone. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1667 Just another lobbyist. They're cheaper than potted plants. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1668 He resisted the merger. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1669 He came in to complain about being kept on hold all the time. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1670 And he's still not sorry. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1671 Hey Hanson did you forget your password again? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1672 On the other hand, maybe downsizing isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1673 That is so last year. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1674 I can't tell you how many times I told him the stock option was a bad choice... 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1675 Serial texter. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1676 We have a three strike policy on forgetting your key FOB. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1677 Gotta love Bill's old fashioned self deprecation. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1678 He introduced himself at a company meeting but forgot to add his pronoun preferences. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1679 Oh, he's from the stock room. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1680 Lock, Stock, and Kegel. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1681 We don't allow tuna fish in the cubicles. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1682 We are entering personnel territory. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1683 Personally, I would have chosen the ducking stool instead. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1684 And that's Larry. He works in stocks. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1685 Just look at his tie! 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1686 We've had this office space for centuries. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1687 That IKEA? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1688 At least they offer healthcare benefits. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1689 I'm not sure... something to do with mini-bar irregularities. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1690 Our office behavior rule number 2 calls for this punishment for not flushing the toilet after use. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1691 We often advise clients to take a strong position in stocks. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1692 I heard he drank all the coffee in the break room 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1693 Did I mention that we select two kinds of Employees of the Month? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1694 Oh, that's just Brad. He ate the last doughnut. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1695 Just following the company motto: "Humility is the first step to Prosperity." 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1696 It's our current shaming campaign against skinny ties! 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1697 It's HR's new stock incentive program. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1698 They don't call the Trump years 'the Dark Ages' for nothing. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1699 I've been thinking of getting into stocks myself 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1700 He publicly stated that Trump’s maturity is “equivalent to a prepubescent 12 year-old boy.” Ironically, management claims this response is “proportional.” 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1701 He's from Plymouth. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1702 "He forgot to refill the pot of coffee". 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1703 That reminds me; I need to re-balance my portfolio 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1704 I tried to warn him about stocks. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1705 God, this place is a dungeon. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1706 He couldn't find his birth certificate. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1707 It's new employee orientation for telecommuters. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1708 I'm all for extreme vetting of new hires, but not in the lobby. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1709 Some ideas should remain outside the suggestion box. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1710 He flunked the Game of Thrones quiz this morning. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1711 I'm still surprised he took the public stock option. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1712 That's for posting fake news. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1713 Looks like public shaming has come full circle. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1714 Must have microwaved fish again. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1715 His portfolio could use a little diversification. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1716 He's the head of the board. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1717 Our 80's theme last week was great but our sales have almost tripled during North Korea week! 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1718 Oh, the new standing desks must have arrived. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1719 They froze his Twitter account, too. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1720 Gossiping around the water cooler or using the boss' coffee mug, I can't remember which 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1721 Pelting at noon. Bring your own tomatoes. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1722 Haberman, our stocks analyst. Very old school... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1723 It looks like Benson is no longer a "Yes Man." 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1724 He expensed a business class ticket last month. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1725 I am glad that I declined the stock options. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1726 Oh yeah... and don't forget to refill the printer toner. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1727 This place has gone soft on entry level mishaps. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1728 And he was afraid of the golden handcuffs 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1729 Harrison was caught texting in the sales meeting again! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1730 I see Jerry got that promotion he was hoping for. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1731 ...and as part of our employee benefits, we offer stock options. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1732 And this is a prototype of our anti-tweeting stand. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1733 He lost us a bundle in bonds, so the boss put him into stocks. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1734 At first we didn't understand when the new CEO spoke of the panacea of stocks and bonds. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1735 So that's what happens when you take office supplies. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1736 Admittedly, not one of our better stock options... 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1737 The fool put an idea in the suggestion box. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1738 The condo association is pretty strict 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1739 Corporate Discipline 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1740 Think they'll ever catch the leaker? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1741 To be fair, my first 9-to-5 felt the same way. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1742 Illicit use of post-its. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1743 When I heard he was moving from bonds to stocks this is not what I expected. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1744 Apparently we haven't finished selling off all our stocks. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1745 It's refreshing to see corporations supporting performance art. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1746 Isn't that the guy from bonds? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1747 It's experimental therapy for smartphone addiction. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1748 His tie was too long. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1749 Yeah, we take customer complaints pretty seriously around here. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1750 I told him now was a bad time to get into stocks.... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1751 I think I'd rather be fired. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1752 Some people just don't read the fine print 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1753 Boss just found out he voted for Trump. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1754 That's what you get for microwaving fish in the break room. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1755 They wouldn't let him resign from the board. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1756 Yeah Trump's alternative to the Dreamer program. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1757 He's testing to see if HR will approve those stand up desks. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1758 It was in the suggestion box. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1759 Stevens needs to learn the difference between "reply" and "reply all". 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1760 He didn't meet the quota 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1761 Oh, yes, you'll need to meet your monthly quotas if you take the position. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1762 Is that a Trump tie? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1763 When he said he was in stocks, I assumed he was talking about his job... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1764 I guess he didn't get the memo. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1765 I see the summer interns are here. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
1766 Oh ya, this place is super strict about the recycling. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1767 "We were having a hard time implementing our no printing policy to cut down on paper costs. Bob got caught making 15 copies of a one-sided, full-color, 20-page Power Point. Unfortunately, management decided to make an example of him. 1.1860 0.08964 43 39 0 4
1768 He's on hold until Human Resources decides what to do. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1769 He'd received many warning, but he just kept on using 'reply all.' 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
1770 That's why I double-check before hitting "reply all." 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
1771 This month's lobby art exhibit. He's the curator. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1772 Remember when the only feudal thing around here was the salary gap... 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1773 When my time comes, I'm going with a striped tie and running shoes. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1774 I think he is the new stock boy. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1775 Well, he knows what NSFW means now. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1776 He refused to be microchipped. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1777 When he asked where the stock market was I thought he meant Wall. Street. 1.1837 0.06946 49 42 5 2
1778 He didn't have any references. 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
1779 Wow, they are really cracking down on unauthorized use of the freight elevator. 1.1818 0.07466 44 38 4 2
1780 Don't you just love these realistic sculptures? 1.1818 0.07466 44 38 4 2
1781 Better here than the cafeteria. 1.1818 0.08143 44 39 2 3
1782 I didn't know they were this serious about the new dress code 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
1783 He's climbing the corporate ladde from stock boy to stock aide. 1.1818 0.07466 44 38 4 2
1784 I know it looks strange, but the orders came straight from the new Attorney General. 1.1818 0.08089 33 28 4 1
1785 He didn't hit 'Reply All'. 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
1786 Well, I'm not surprised. Those shoes with that tie? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1787 Stock manipulation. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1788 Expertly designed to spark creativity, encourage productivity and impress. With spaces all over the city, you can find Breather workspaces where you need them most. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1789 And then he hit "reply all". 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1790 I've never been a fan of colonial decor. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1791 It's our new sales incentive called "Feudal Fridays" 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1792 The boss told him to take stock of himself. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1793 He's from our Fifty Shades of Finance Division. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1794 The millennials chose this month's art display. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1795 They're implementing a corporate punishment policy 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1796 Talking back to HR. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1797 It's Casual Friday. He's overdressed. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1798 Last week he was in bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1799 I thought Geoffrey was in bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1800 He left the seat up. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1801 But at least they didn't hang him out to dry. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1802 That's Greg. He's in stocks. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1803 Well, he did go for the stock option. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1804 He's the guy who asked about stock options.. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1805 The receptionist here loves putting people on hold. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1806 They're making an example out of him for coming unprepared to describe his "biggest weakness" 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1807 Reply all needs a time delay feature 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1808 Most organizations preach a positive reinforcement management philosophy, we have a different approach. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1809 He voted for pillory. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1810 Listen, just don't open email attachments from unfamiliar sources and you'll be fine. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1811 That's what he gets for giving a stock answer. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1812 Looks like he picked the wrong stock. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1813 Work Shame Wednesday sucks since HR veto'd the rotten vegetables. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1814 It's a Monday thing. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1815 Ever since we hired the new H.R. Director with an M.F.A. I never know whether something is discipline or performance art. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1816 New overdraft penalty seems a little steep. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1817 The stock plan's not great either. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1818 They take supply-closet pilfering seriously here, don't they? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1819 Poor Fred! But you should see the guys in bonds... 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1820 Oh, Bob? He passed up some low-hanging fruit. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1821 I told you this place is weird 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1822 Bob is out of cash. And into stocks. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1823 This is just foreplay. They do the actual stoning in the atrium. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1824 He still insists it was worth stealing the boss's lunch out of the fridge. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1825 I see Clive brought stale donuts again. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1826 What a terrible stock pick. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1827 You either pay tribute to the boss, or you become the tribute. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1828 Don't worry, it's a motivational performance art installation from Corporate. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1829 They're tough, but fair here. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1830 Apparently he chose the wrong stock option 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1831 He should have invested in bonds. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1832 Ohh - Harry forgot to submit our Lottery syndicate this week. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1833 I heard he was the architect. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1834 It's called the Laughing Stock and every employee takes a turn. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1835 These new medieval reality work shows have everyone up in arms latley... 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1836 By the way, he's your predecessor. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1837 Is it just me or are the decorations in the office getting worse every year? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1838 He chose the stock option instead of a salary. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1839 I'm glad I didn't take the stocks option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1840 You should see what they do with the bond traders. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1841 So that's what a real live laughingstock looks like! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1842 Hope that's the last time anyone explains our financial performance with sock puppets at the management meeting.... 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1843 He's about to apply for a job in the White House, and he wants to see if he can take the punishment. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1844 ...and nobody even stops to say 'hi.' 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1845 For God's sake, change your necktie. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1846 Early withdrawal CD penalty. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1847 Yes, the training did say our younger clients need to be in stocks, however... 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1848 He used to sell stocks, now he's in bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1849 ... and I ordered whole tomatoes for lunch. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1850 It's a voluntary social media abstention program. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1851 Hmm, looks like Bob assigned only 45% women to his coding team again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1852 Just be glad you're not working in stocks and bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1853 Looks like stocks are up. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1854 This is what happens when company "stocks" are not appreciated. 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1855 Corporate really got into Game of Thrones. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1856 Does his vulnerability turn you on? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1857 I think a Starbucks card is a better productivity incentive. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1858 Managements new concept- Punishment Day 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1859 You pull the tie to get him to talk. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1860 They call it the equities department, but it's really just stocks. 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1861 Tell me again about the stock options here? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1862 We all told him not to exercise the stock option. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1863 He made a snide comment about Puritans at a staff meeting. The boss found out last month John Calvin is his ancestor. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1864 How did switching over from bonds work out for you, Hemstreet? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1865 Bob stole Ted's yogurt. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1866 It's just a little something to boost office morale. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1867 Our CEO is a witch. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1868 Talk about early withdrawal penalties! 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1869 Our firm is noted for it's "Tough Love" motivation techniques. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1870 What do you think it means? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1871 He asked to work from home. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1872 It was the polka-dot tie. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1873 He forgot to bring doughnuts yesterday. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1874 Poor stock selection... 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1875 He still supports NAFTA. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1876 He microwaved fish at work. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1877 He!s solely invested in stocks and bonds now 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1878 It was very clear in the internship application- bungle the coffee order, pay the price. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1879 They're cracking down on employees who leave dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1880 Oh, he usually just hangs in the lobby. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1881 Yeah, we've started to diversify into stocks and bondage. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1882 He made bad employee of the month. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1883 He said I should put him into stocks so I did. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1884 Looks like stocks are up today! 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1885 I think we should sign the visitor's log. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1886 Ever since the stock market crash, we've resorted to pillory. 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1887 It's the new standing desk prototype. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1888 I heard he was trying to start a union. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1889 He should have stayed on the bond desk. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1890 Stocks are up again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1891 We offer full healthcare, a 401k and great stockade options. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1892 You should see how he's treated on Twitter. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1893 "He fell for it, lock, stock and barrel". 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1894 Good old Puritan work ethic. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1895 Modern art. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1896 I'm glad the PC craze is over. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1897 I see Rodney is working late again. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1898 Won't take my day off this year ! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1899 He came over from bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1900 If you know the difference between bagels and donuts, you'll be fine. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1901 Stocks sluggish today? 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1902 It's the new corporate punishment for time theft. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1903 The tie is supposed to go behind the pillory board. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1904 Didn't make his quota, again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1905 I told him not to touch the sandwiches outside of conference room B... 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1906 Bend over like you mean it. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1907 Back to the good old days. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1908 Looks like he won't be grabbing or pinching anymore employees. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1909 A word to the wise, if something in the break room fridge is not yours, don't touch it. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1910 A group of interns hath accused him of White Privilege. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1911 Used sock puppets at the last Board meeting. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1912 That broker is in the wrong stocks. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1913 I see stocks are down again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1914 Our behavioral interview is designed to get results. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1915 He reheated leftover fish in the office microwave. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1916 Just be sure you can substantiate all your expense account claims 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1917 Someone didn't meet their quota.... 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1918 It's a stocks and bonds thing. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1919 He was in bonds before he switched to stocks. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1920 He's the outgoing Employee of the Month 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1921 When will it end? There goes another one from one of the White House Advisory Councils! 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1922 I don't know if the robots will want all the jobs. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1923 That's George, from stocks and bonds. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1924 Don't worry about Frank, at least he's got a stock option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1925 The administration find this less embarrassing than publicly shaming online. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1926 Looks like the new employee evaluation system has finally been rolled out. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1927 Our stocked broker! 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1928 And what happens if we get the job? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1929 I am not sure I agree with the current trends in human resource management. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1930 He gave too many stock answers. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1931 They say the bonds are worse. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1932 He didn't listen when I told him to get into bonds... 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1933 He beat Donald at golf 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1934 I told you shopping online at work was a bad idea. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1935 He lost big in bonds so now he's in stocks. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1936 Tom wore white after Labor Day, poor guy. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1937 I hear he is doing a silent protest to the standing desk. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1938 I think that's the substantial penalty for early withdrawal. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1939 It's a new employee stock option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1940 Not sure, but I heard he didn't know the last 4 digits of his social… 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1941 The work here is punishing. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1942 Don't steal Marge's yogurt. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1943 Poor guy, he told him he wanted to get into stocks. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1944 It's to add to his stock portfolio. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1945 Looks like Larry is on the chopping block this week 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1946 You'll probably want to forego the stock options. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1947 He had Caps Lock on during login. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1948 No penalty for early withdrawal, eh? 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1949 Some of these new hires have to be taught about restraint. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1950 He didn't say, "Good morning, J.P." today. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1951 Poor Phil. Took the last cup of office coffee and forgot to start a new pot. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1952 One too many tweets, I guess! 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1953 I thought they said the company offered 'stock options.' 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1954 He's the reason all the pens are on those little chains! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1955 I told him not to bring up the French Revolution at the meeting. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1956 I see stocks are up today. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1957 I'd stay away from coffee, Bill. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1958 We have a strict no-fish-in-the-microwave policy. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1959 He didn't have an appointment. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1960 He wasn't given enough rope to hang himself, so they found an alternative 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1961 You'll get used to it over time. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1962 Oh, and don't ever take home any office supplies. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1963 yea, that's Barney...he heads up our stocks and bondage department. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1964 We finally caught the person who was cooking fish in the break room. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1965 That's Steve. He's in Accounting. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1966 Who did you say he voted for? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1967 He was caught grazing in the office refrigerator. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1968 Where are the bagels? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1969 Stocks are down 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1970 Must be that new pop-up chiropractic thing. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1971 Looks like there was a shareholders' meeting this morning. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1972 Found the paper clip bandit! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1973 He's been using text speak in emails again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1974 Forget to return the bathroom key again Doug? 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1975 Insider trading punishment now fits the crime! 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1976 So, will this mean you won't be at the Christmas party? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1977 The board decided that was a better stock option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1978 A rather unique way to honor the Employee of the Month. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1979 Wasn't that the nice man who sold us our additional car insurance policy? 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1980 I hear he didn't set up enough phony accounts last week! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1981 It was either that or back to telemarketing calls. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1982 So much for the Open Door policy. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1983 Chad? Oh he used to be into bondage - now he's in stocks. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1984 The painter is a great artist. That is such a lifelike capture of our president. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1985 Corporate's offering a new stock option plan. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1986 Is that the guy that wanted more stock options? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1987 Like the handbook says, we recognize creativity and initiative. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1988 You'd better return that pencil sharpener 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1989 Leakers are treated harshly here 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1990 I guess my cubicle's not that bad after all 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1991 Says he's going to remain there until there is world peace or the cafeteria adds a vegan option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1992 Spicy tuna rolls are half-price--shall we grab you some? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1993 Looks like John won employee of the month again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1994 And that's why I put all my money in bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1995 Is that Art? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1996 He asked the boss for an ergonomic chair. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1997 All new associates start with researching stocks. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1998 My broker put me in mutual funds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1999 He thought it was OK not to wear a tie on casual Friday. He won't make that mistake again. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
2000 At least he doesn't need to be watered. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
2001 He sold Tesla at $50.00. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
2002 And you say that this is the Stock Exchange? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
2003 It's the new stock option for employee of the month 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
2004 Oh, him? That what we do with ALL whistleblowers. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
2005 I guess he didn't foresee what would happen when he cashed in his stock options. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
2006 When I was asked if I thought he should be in stocks I thought they meant the market... 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2007 Glad I invested in stocks. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
2008 Well, no, I don't have any tomatoes on me... 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2009 I'm disappointed they used stock art. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2010 That's Eric Mathison. He has consistently failed to use the Oxford comma. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2011 Stocks? In this economy? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2012 Damien Hirst is slipping. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2013 I have a feeling we’ve come to the wrong stock exchange. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2014 Hey, that guy sold me my last mortgage! 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2015 Not another office weight-loss challenge! 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2016 That reminds me, who's hosting Thanksgiving this year? 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2017 Management hasn't finalized its bullying policy yet. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
2018 That wood finish certainly doesn't fit this lobby. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
2019 THE DEATH KNELL OF THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
2020 They say it relieves stress. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2021 I hear it's HR's new second interview process. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
2022 He was our CEO and made some bad investments. We handed him over to our company stockbroker who put him in stocks and bonds. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
2023 There was a typo in the midlevel management memo. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
2024 Dear, isn't that your stock broker? 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
2025 Welcome to the stock exchange. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
2026 It's the new Employee of the Month board. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2027 Myles has a habit of saying 'ye' in every sentence. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2028 Fridge Thief 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2029 I dunno. Something about, "All the planets are heating up, but there's no cars on Saturn." 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2030 Live art. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2031 It's the boss's broker. His stocks have been going down again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2032 Don't mess with H.R. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2033 Our stocks has been performing quite well lately. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2034 Repent, troll. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2035 He's in the stock market. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2036 He's from new accounts at Wells Fargo. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2037 He objected to the company's antiquated culture. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2038 I hate Retro Thursday. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2039 So that's what he meant by "getting into stocks" 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2040 Two days in a row, he wore white after Labor Day. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2041 Well, Jeff Sessions IS the Attorney General... 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2042 It's "Send in the Clowns, not Clones." Stupid! 1.1622 0.09099 37 34 0 3
2043 That tie he's wearing is so dated! 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2044 Word to the wise, Gary... Don't eat anything in the break room fridge that is not clearly yours. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2045 He didn't meet the sales quota. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2046 We try to match every investors' individual needs with the stocks we put them into. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2047 He's on hold. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2048 He lifted another Sharpie. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2049 He changed his email font to comic sans 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2050 He refuses to buy a cell phone or home computer so John can't reach him outside of business hours. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2051 And that's why I avoid the office fridge. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2052 Wait 'til you see how the bond trader was disciplined. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2053 Wells Fargo has really improved their customer service. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2054 Bill's our stocks guy 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2055 Under the new leadership at the EPA, we have ways of dealing with recalcitrant climate change scientists. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2056 Mr. Froibrushier, mind if I take a selfie with you? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2057 Bob was the one who used comic sans on the new business cards. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2058 Yes…and in the Bond Market they use ropes. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2059 Oh, he's just finishing up his internship here. Next week, he moves on to the bonds department. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2060 The new head of HR used to be a performance artist. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2061 Okay, these overdraft fees have gone too far. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2062 You know the type -- stocks in the office, bonds in the bedroom. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2063 He left out the Oxford comma. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2064 Does corporate art imitate corporate life? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2065 Maybe he'll think twice before microwaving chili without a lid. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2066 He was caught sitting at his standing desk. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2067 Don't pay any attention to him.He's just showing off his hole in one. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2068 We also offer mandatory stock options. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2069 He will do anything for attention. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2070 He was too casual on Friday. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2071 That reminds me to check my stocks. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2072 Ed forgot to change his password again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2073 His tie does not match. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2074 His sales were below expectation. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2075 Here at Facebook we take unfriending seriously. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2076 I am going to be late to the meeting. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2077 He totally misinterpreted the part about stock options. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2078 I thought O.T. was optional. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2079 Now THAT's a different way to recognize the Employee of the Month. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2080 That'll be the last time he uses the suggestion box. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2081 It was either that or they were going to fire him. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2082 No, we want the Bonds guy. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2083 He wanted to take down the statue of Trump. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2084 He denies global warming. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2085 The Suggestion Box was his idea. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2086 Did I tell you my stock broker recommended this place? 1.1622 0.09099 37 34 0 3
2087 He won't microwave fish in the lunchroom again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2088 I suggested a good bond fund, but he was content staying in stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2089 It's kind of the opposite of the stock-broker-of-the-month award. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2090 He hit "reply to all" too many times. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2091 HR said it was a position on Wall Street as a stock aide. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2092 It's the lock up period after going public. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2093 some things never go out of style. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2094 He hit "Reply All". 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2095 I hope his tie is not too tight. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2096 His "golden parachute" was the stockade option 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2097 He refused to tweet 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2098 How else was I going to heat up the tuna casserole? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2099 On the other hand, there's free yogurt in the break room. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2100 "He complained about the service ". 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2101 Oh, him? He's an originalist. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2102 The alternative was being dragged by the stagecoach. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2103 ...and that's our fitness center. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2104 He didn't vote for Trump.... 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2105 It's part of our new empathy initiative 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2106 Ed called one meeting too many. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2107 We've been outsourcing our performance reviews to a firm in Salem. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2108 He's lucky -- the last one got drowned as a witch 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2109 I don't think that was the stock he was planning on choosing. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2110 It must be "Take Your Hostage To Work Day." 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2111 I think they're shooting the third 50 Shades of Grey in this building. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2112 Quarter-cubicle sales guy. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2113 It would be cartoonishly humorous had he committed a minor breach of office etiquette. But no, he really did steal cattle. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2114 It's the latest model of the 'stand-up' desk. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2115 Oh, that's Howard. He couldn't sell enough bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2116 This is what happens when you are politically INcorrect ! 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2117 Its a medieval stretching technique 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2118 The way backward is the new way forward. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2119 Stop sending in the clones! 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2120 You only get one chance to make a first impression. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2121 He took out his phone during a meeting. The lock has a voice-activated password, but they think it's fun to just text message it to him all day. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2122 This is our new remedy for sexual harassment. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2123 Not sure that I care much for the new cubicle design. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2124 It was only a matter of time. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2125 The board of directors got golden parachutes. The tellers got five years in the stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2126 Freedom is for closers. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2127 Apparently he believed that the employee satisfaction survey was anonymous. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2128 Poor Shaffery. After the whole derivatives debacle, they transferred him to stocks and bonds. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2129 I'd prefer the dunk booth. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2130 The Monday Blues 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2131 He wasn't being disruptive enough 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2132 All of these start-ups try to lure you with stock options. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2133 Yeah, we were all shocked he chose the stocks package over a raise. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2134 Forget your key card again? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2135 He used 'reply all'. He knew the risks. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2136 I thought being moved to a cubicle was bad. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2137 ...and there's plenty of room to move up in this company. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2138 We also offer investment packages in more traditional stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2139 Sparky's really into stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2140 Happy 20 years with the firm Teddy. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2141 You may wish instead to go with bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2142 Fish tanks are so passé. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2143 Didn't you say he was getting into bonds? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2144 They really got serious about mid year reviews. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2145 He must have won the raffle. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2146 I knew he was into stocks and bonds, but stocks? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2147 Apparently, you can't vape either. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2148 But he works from home on Fridays. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2149 It was his choice. This or post the details to twitter. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2150 Maybe we should reconsider our stock options. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2151 Entre nous... decline the stock options. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2152 Is this your first time to Puritan Industries? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2153 Personally, I prefer bonds over stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2154 The company president does this every year on the day he is supposed to sign our bonus checks. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2155 Hit "Reply All" too many times 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2156 He was just way too happy on a Monday. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2157 We recommend stocks. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2158 Don't judge. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2159 That's the new campus free speech zone. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2160 Look, the bottom line is that he ate someone's lunch. I say let him rot. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2161 Oh, him? He's the new decorator. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2162 We warned you not to microwave fish in the office. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2163 "Verbal counseling" just isn't effective anymore. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2164 That's Al. He works in Stocks and Bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2165 He's the company scapegoat. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2166 Employee Performance Art 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2167 It's the next iteration of the standing desk. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2168 This hotel doesn't mess around if you try to take a towel 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2169 He spoke to his boss when he could have texted. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2170 People always forget the risks of the stock option 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2171 I don't like our new guidelines for peaceful protests 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2172 As employee of the week, he won't have to go to his cubicle. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2173 No more guillotine, it created more problems than it helped. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2174 As I said, we don't do layoffs here. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2175 I guess they meant it when they asked us to turn off our phones. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2176 Trump supporter or Hillary fan? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2177 He's from the stocks and bondage department. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2178 Wouldn't use gender-neutral pronouns. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2179 Damn that Oxford comma. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2180 Looks like the company's stock is up. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2181 Maybe next time you'll think twice about hitting 'Reply All' on a firmwide email. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2182 Too much time at the copier machine. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2183 Excuse me! Is my tie on straight? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2184 That's our company's latest execution strategy! 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2185 Are you sure this is the right address? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2186 I liked the old suggestion box. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2187 He mentioned Harvard too many times. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2188 It's the toughest part of peer review. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2189 He was transferred to the Texas office and wouldn't go. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2190 He's just back from Burning Man 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2191 The head of the company is a Progressive Puritan. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2192 Things haven't changed much in Salem, have they? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2193 Cornell people... 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2194 He doesn't think our New Yorker cartoons are funny. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2195 Now I´ll show you what ´bonds´ means. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2196 Our salary and benefit package includes a unique stock option plan. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2197 And that's why you should read the small print... 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2198 He said something negative about Jeff Sessions. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2199 I guess he went against the grain. That tie certainly does. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2200 So much for truth to power 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2201 I tried to go in without an appointment. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2202 Tomatoes, remind me to get tomatoes. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2203 looks like the stocks went up 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2204 Oh look, the stocks are up. I wonder if that's the only demo model. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2205 He must have made the boss mad. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2206 His specialty is stocks and bondage. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2207 They call that art?? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2208 This isn't what I imagined when Ted said he worked in stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2209 Make sure you read that memo about using the Oxford comma. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2210 He should have opted for the preferred stock. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2211 You'll find the golden handcuffs here very comfortable. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2212 McNulty again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2213 Gives 'Stocks & Bonds' a whole new meaning... 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2214 HR is pretty strict in this company. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2215 He asked out the boss' daughter. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2216 Ugh, what an ugly tie. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2217 He's our stocks broker. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2218 It's part of our new employee stock option plan. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2219 And they call that 'art'. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2220 He should've stayed in bonds. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2221 He'll never ask the V.P. to bring him coffee again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2222 Hmmm, what's the Chiropractor's husband doing here in the lobby? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2223 Your welcome packet will spell out company policies. Just the usual stuff. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2224 don't look now but i think he's the head hunter who recommended us 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2225 It looks like Harvey was caught stealing pencils again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2226 I've never seen a public offering of stocks quite like that before. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2227 Oh, he's our employee for the month. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2228 So what's his stock in trade? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2229 Man they don't fool around with late fees here at all.......... 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2230 He voted for Trump. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2231 Seems like the "in or out" question of the tie has been settled -- out looks better. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2232 He used his birthday as his password. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2233 They're sure hard on puns here. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2234 Performance art of just blatant attention-grabbing? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2235 Be careful. That can happen to you if you don't go through the new security check point 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2236 Sorry Tom, but you did put curry in the office microwave. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2237 He was employee of the month before this. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2238 He said he wanted to be in stocks. It's a lesson in 'be careful what you wish for.' 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2239 Our very own DACA. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2240 He never started the next pot of coffee. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2241 Frank, we can't stay for the finale if we want to beat the traffic. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2242 Their products sure are revolutionary. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2243 I thought we were the "stock" market.... 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2244 I told him that tie was hideous. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2245 That's Paul - he opened more new accounts than anyone last month. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2246 Isn't that your stocks broker? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2247 He said he wanted stock options. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2248 He forgot to lower the seat. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2249 HR calls it "Making America Great Again". 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2250 That's NOT public humiliation. This is a private club. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2251 I thought he had more of a future in bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2252 That's our stock boy. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2253 He claims he didn't choose to be named Bob Lee 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2254 Hmm... I thought Charlie only dealt in bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2255 He mishandled the accounts: lock, stock, and barrel. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2256 That's why I'm in bonds. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2257 It's the latest of Fox News' penalties for employee sexual harassment. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2258 Dexter had mentioned he dabbled in stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2259 I don't think this is what they meant by, "Outside the box." 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2260 Trouble adjusting your standing desk again, Jim? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2261 Nice mahogany. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2262 Maybe they misunderstood him to say "I choose stocks over bondage". 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2263 He used "privilege" as a verb. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2264 He forgot the coffee. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2265 The firm is installing new organic, environmentally friendly, locally sourced, vertical work spaces 1.1622 0.09099 37 34 0 3
2266 Who in HR sent out that email? The policy change was about employee retention, not detention. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2267 I told him, they take "Tie Dye Friday" very seriously. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2268 The CEO is kind of Puritanical 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2269 He put fish in the microwave. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2270 Yes, Mr. Trump thought he was a leaker. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2271 When he said he was in stocks, that's not what I pictured. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2272 He apparently didn't put one of the new coversheets on his TPS reports. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2273 He took the last cup and didn't make a new pot. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2274 Microwaved fish then ate his desk. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2275 Oh look, there is the new stock option . . . 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2276 I'm really anxious about team meeting Monday. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2277 He' trying out a standing desk. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2278 It's payback for the glass ceiling. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2279 He didn't double check before he hit send. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2280 Looks like someone accidentally replied all. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2281 I'm betting it's not the employee of the month... 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2282 Last week he was a senior advisor to Trump. He just can't shed that abused demeanor. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2283 He was playing computer games, on company time. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2284 Performance art... I just don't get it! 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2285 Yeah, company stocks is one of our employee benefits . . . 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2286 We recommend stocks. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2287 Corporate couldn't terminate Fred until the lawsuit was settled. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2288 His exit package included a stock option. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2289 I could never work in stocks. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2290 Hester got off easy! 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2291 He was taking too many selfies at work. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2292 Trump claims it increases productivity, 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2293 Must have missed HR's memo describing the new "stock option" plan. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2294 That's how stockbrokers meditate. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2295 Apparently he misunderstood what was meant by stock options. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2296 Standing desks are so last year. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2297 We used to date, but there was always a wall between us. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2298 They charged him with being puritanically still. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2299 Looks like Steve's contract included stockade options. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2300 The employee of the week gets a parking space. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2301 He was caught leaving the office early. 1.1591 0.05578 44 37 7 0
2302 Psst! I think he got bagged for opening the door for a woman. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2303 Looks like Higgins left his dirty mug in the sink again. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2304 Speakerphone. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2305 After we installed this we received fewer complaints about the waiting room 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2306 In today's world, it will take more than that to call attention to yourself. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2307 He's auditioning for Trump's cabinet. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2308 I guess you could say the stocks are back to what they used to be. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2309 Keurig mooching. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2310 The boss has been watching too much Game of Thrones 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2311 Hacker penalty! Try to crack that. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2312 I'm told he called the receptionist a 'cunt' 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2313 It's our new CEO's twist on "Employee of The Month." 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2314 Honey look pillory is not dead... 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2315 I hear he's moving into bonds next week. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2316 I told him that was an ugly tie 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2317 I'm applying for a position with HR. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2318 Well I see the stock market is back. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2319 Well, it looks like a nice day for hangin' in. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2320 I told you, they specialize in business stocks. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2321 It's a new rule. Instead of saying "you're fired", the boss now says "You're humiliated." Albert has to stay there until someone else is relegated to that punishment. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2322 Ted, just hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2323 The office whistler... Cher was the last straw. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2324 THAT naughty doggy is ripe for a good fucking. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2325 Another boundary-setting workshop gone wrong. 1.1562 0.06521 32 27 5 0
2326 In-house performance artist 1.1562 0.06521 32 27 5 0
2327 I've still interviewed at stranger places. 1.1562 0.06521 32 27 5 0
2328 What a shame! Did you see the holes they carved into that gorgeous wood? 1.1562 0.07918 32 28 3 1
2329 Was it Warhol who said, "art is whatever you can get away with"? 1.1562 0.07918 32 28 3 1
2330 They are a good company but their HR Department is a little behind the times. 1.1562 0.07918 32 28 3 1
2331 That's the one who laughed at the meeting when the CEO's cabinet appointment was announced. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
2332 It's from the company's performance art collection. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
2333 That's Glen. Should've read the fine print before buying company stock. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
2334 The new standing desks are supposed to be great for carpal tunnel. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
2335 He had it coming, all his e-mails were written in comic sans. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
2336 Turns out he's an immigrant. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
2337 He refused the voluntary biochip implant 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2338 That's why no one complains to HR. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2339 He used "which" when he should have used "that". 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2340 Looks like there running out of cells 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2341 They aren't kidding around about the "no cellphones while in line" 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2342 And, here is one of our board directors. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2343 We've now fused H.R. and Marketing. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2344 We can't pay much, but offer stock options 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2345 Are you sure we have an appointment? I don't see any chairs... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2346 They've started taking Sarbanes Oxley pretty seriously around here. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2347 Do you think the office obsession with Game of Thrones has gone a bit too far. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2348 He forgot to put up the toilet seat 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2349 It's a promising treatment for those addicted to taking "selfies." 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2350 As you know this is a conservative company and it uses colonial methods to achieve its goals. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2351 Oh, that's John. He asked his boss for a raise. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2352 That's a very unfortunate necktie." 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2353 They say you should spend at least 5 minutes out of every hour being pilloried. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2354 You're in a tow-away zone, Ned. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2355 Got caught stealing snacks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2356 Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2357 That scared me! For a second I thought it was a TV-screen. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2358 Medieval Management wants to reduce sitting time. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2359 He usually lunches at his desk. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2360 Pruitt's Pillory? Oh it's been a game changer... 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2361 I liked it a lot better when it was just hanging on the wall. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2362 He should get into bonds. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2363 I see he's out of bonds. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2364 Not exactly what I had in mind when I think of stocks investments 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2365 He clicked reply all. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2366 He forgot to reply all. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2367 Pillory performance art or actual pillory? I'm never really sure anymore. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2368 Trump Tower looks a lot different the last time I was here. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2369 I hear it was built into the Wells Fargo settlement. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2370 And this is what happens at this firm when you make a bad stock deal. Don’t you just love the irony? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2371 It looks like our company's stocks are up! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2372 If you come to work here, you DON'T want to be late to meetings.... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2373 Our company has a different take on stock options. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2374 Oh, how the mighty fall from 'Employee of the Month'. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2375 Maybe now he'll stop hitting "reply all." 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2376 Wanted to be closer to his stock. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2377 Damn, I applied for that position last week 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2378 Well, at least stocks are up. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2379 "Oh, that's just Nick on his afternoon break. He relaxes his neck by stretching with this home-made medieval set up. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2380 He missed his sales quota. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2381 He thought America 'was' great. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2382 Prison overcrowding is worse than I thought. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2383 They love to show off their latest products in the waiting room. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2384 He was caught stealing pencils. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2385 (Sigh) Did he eat Linda's sandwich again? 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2386 He still uses "his instead of "their" 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2387 Locked up, not Linkedin." 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2388 He used to work at Google. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2389 That's just for a late fee. The bounce checks go to the dungeon. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2390 If people don't start treating me better around here, more of THIS will happen. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2391 They are trying to make the workplace a little more traditional. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2392 I knew it was a bad idea to take the stock option! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2393 Severence packages aren't what they used to be. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2394 He's considered a security risk but we didn't want to fire him. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2395 The microwave still smells of fish. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2396 It's part of our effort to stay true to our founder's ideals. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2397 He refuses to eat kale. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2398 He's supposed to be running a bond fund, but he was 100% in stocks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2399 We have a very aggressive incentive program. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2400 Yes, but is it art? 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2401 It cuts down on the office hijinks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2402 Bonds are looking better these days. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2403 He came into complain about being placed on hold all the time. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2404 His choice, either this or wear a large B for Breitbart supporter on his suit! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2405 I don't think that is what he meant when he asked his broker to put him some good stocks. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2406 It's just a new way of holding our employees accountable. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2407 Don't ever put fish in the office microwave. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2408 Looks like their stocks are doing well. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2409 More cost reductions! I mean come on, we cant't afford toothpicks to keep his eyelids open 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2410 They're really tough on stock options here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2411 He is politically incoherent, tweets too much, and wears too long a tie. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2412 He couldn't stop tweeting. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2413 Well, it's not like they haven't established any order here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2414 Bob's new diet is really working. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2415 Now that the government is cost-cutting, all economic criminals are under “house arrest”. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2416 We can talk bonds, IRAs or just get you right into some stocks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2417 Mandatory break. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2418 Our "no spoilers" policy is fairly strict. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2419 He responded with "Reply All" on the boss's email thread. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2420 We don't have the square footage for a perp walk. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2421 Working in stocks hasn't been the same since 2008. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2422 He didn't return the bathroom key. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2423 They say that the new boss has a tendency to stifle initiative. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2424 Someday Sven will learn not to microwave fish in the office. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2425 It's a very Puritanical company. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2426 For the Management performance survey, he accidently clicked on “reply to All” 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2427 We don't tolerate irony here at Shackle, Shackle and Shackle. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2428 They were going to get a Damien Hirst for the lobby. Guess they decided employee performance art was cheaper. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2429 Hi, Joe 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2430 They re-purposed his stand up desk. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2431 He was our sole dissenting stockholder until corporate decided to pillory him. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2432 He's worked his way up from the stock room! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2433 So now we know who burnt the popcorn in the microwave! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2434 Don't cross HR. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2435 He's always complaining that nobody likes him around here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2436 I would have taken the community service option..... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2437 He was seen eating his boogers. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2438 He was desperate for a spot on the board. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2439 That's Bob. He put trash in the recycling bin. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2440 He preferred the stocks; is like bondage. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2441 Too bad we didn't bring any tomatoes. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2442 He said 'please.' 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2443 Looks like somebody got caught speaking truth to power again. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2444 He refused to think outside the box. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2445 Don't stare, it's not polite. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2446 He kept bugging the boss for a standing desk. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2447 It's some type of corporate art therapy. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2448 Everything's retro these days. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2449 So then the SEC has manipulated his stocks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2450 He wore white after Labor Day 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2451 Didn't have enough billable hours 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2452 He used to think stocks were so great. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2453 He left a used K-cup in the Keurig 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2454 He's having a Middle Ages crisis... 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2455 This is one work place that you have the chance to see what is behind door #3. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2456 This month's art installation isn't working for me. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2457 He didn't read the fine print when he took our company's stock options 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2458 That'll teach him not to heat fish in the staff microwave. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2459 Personally, I prefer mutuals! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2460 He took the CEO’s request for honest feedback at face value. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2461 Bad employee of the month. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2462 Gee, that's great. I'd heard he'd been whacked! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2463 Our new corporate curator comes from the Whitney. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2464 The building owner's a collector. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2465 He wouldn't stop talking about Bitcoin, so they put him in shackles. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2466 New employees have limited stock options. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2467 We do "Employee of the Month" a little differently here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2468 Stocks and bondage has a nice ring to it. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2469 Sometimes old techniques are still effective. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2470 He never really understood the stock option 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2471 His necktie clashes with his stocks! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2472 He pushed all the buttons in the elevator. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2473 ...and of course, our compensation package includes stock options. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2474 That's the new art piece? or No Guillotine? or It's part of the new fed regulations. or He thinks he's Marie Antoinette. or Larry needed a time out. or I didn't believe him when he said his hands were tied. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2475 I think I'd just prefer the boss to say, "You're fired!" 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2476 This art keeps getting more violent. I've heard that next week they are hanging a painting. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2477 At least it's better than the guillotine. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2478 He complained about his cubicle being too confining. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2479 Him? He kept cooking fish in the microwave. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2480 Bet he won't use the executive wash room again. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2481 He pinned up a New Yorker cartoon in his cubicle without the express written permission of Condé Nast. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2482 Wells Fargo, "Employee of the Week." 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2483 It looks like Jim just LOCKED into a fixed rate Pillory loan this morning. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2484 The boss is from Pilgrim stock 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2485 His memo went viral. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2486 He must be the new guy. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2487 I still think the water feature worked better there. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2488 He got caught watching 'Game of Thrones' during a staff meeting 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2489 Misogynistic rant again? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2490 Oh that's just Bill, the head of the board. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2491 He "Replied to all" too many times 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2492 Some sort of misunderstand about wanting more company stock. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2493 You can never be too careful with stocks options. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2494 He just got transferred from the Middle Ages. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2495 It's art, but is it nice? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2496 looks like their stock isn't going anywhere 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2497 Now I see why on the phone he always tells me his hands are tied. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2498 They are really serious about your not taking long lunch hours. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2499 Last week he was bullish on bonds. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2500 He missed the team building session. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2501 I'm glad we started publicly shaming all of our coworkers who still start conversations with "I hate Mondays" 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2502 Technology rendered him ineffectual. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2503 As you can see to your left, our company is very committed to empowering women in the workplace. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2504 With a generous benefits package, our employees can take a lot of abuse. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2505 Today is the board meeting. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2506 Caught leaking info., public shaming and no Starbucks for two weeks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2507 Lesson learned. Don't disagree with our President. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2508 Republican management. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2509 It's the one unforgivable sin for a bank teller: Sock puppetry. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2510 He missed his sales quota. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2511 Boss said we needed to get our stock up. People misunderstood, but it's turned out to be great for productivity. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2512 When they said their stock would go up, but this wasn't what I visualized. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2513 They take raiding the lunch room fridge very seriously! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2514 He wore a suit on Friday. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2515 ...and there you see our Employee of the Month. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2516 He thought the conference room booking policy was a joke. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2517 These street artists are so creative. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2518 His stocks are holding up. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2519 He once was a great stock picker. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2520 I think he questioned building the wall. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2521 I told him to stay in bonds. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2522 Hey, it's better then the HR meetings they used to make you have when you had too many compliance violations. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2523 It's the third time he's come in under quota. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2524 You'll find we shame our underperforming stockbrokers literally here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2525 He brought his kids to work. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2526 He "replied all" to an everyone group e-mail. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2527 He's been fiddling with the company stock, so we thought it was an appropriate punishment. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2528 Yes, our company stock sharing program is quite unique. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2529 Jim Replied All again. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2530 He believed in diplomacy first. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2531 It’s instead of ‘Employee of the Month’. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2532 He told the boss his ideas were obsolete. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2533 He refused to "like" the CEO's new puppy pics. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2534 He insisted on being invested in a public stock. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2535 I'm surprised he took the stock option. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2536 Yep . . . stockbroker. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2537 Why can't they just disable your password before your exit interview. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2538 He made another one of his 'suggestions'..... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2539 It's Bring Your Fetish to Work Day. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2540 We're not real big on thinking outside the box here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2541 No collared shirt last casual Friday. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2542 He shouldn't be hanging out in the lobby. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2543 He's locked out of his fantasy football picks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2544 You said George worked in stocks and bonds, but... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2545 Here at the Tower there is a standing order to "Pillory Hillary" and the receptionist called security when he signed in as the son of that British mountain climber. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2546 So he's the one who put the juicer in the break room. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2547 It's the company punishment for making air quotes. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2548 I have reservations about management's new performance improvement program. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2549 He thought they were referring to their IPO. He was wrong. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2550 A pending execution always sharpens one's mind. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2551 He's in the old retirement plan. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2552 Someone had to take the rap. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2553 He must of had a different idea. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2554 He said that he wanted to get into stocks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2555 He said he had a lot of experience in stocks, so HR thought that would be funny. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2556 He should've taken the buyout. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2557 Touched the thermostat 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2558 Oh, he's my stock analyst. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2559 His team found out he voted for Trump. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2560 And that's Bob from the Salem office. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2561 We have an extremely diversified stock portfolio. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2562 "remind to add that stock to my portfolio". 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2563 I think he fraudulently selling bonds. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2564 Picked the wrong stocks, I guess. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2565 He is still on probation. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2566 He probably forgot his badge , again. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2567 Modern art is getting out of hands 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2568 I hear the CEO suffers from a real "persecution complex. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2569 Well, he's finished at this company, but he's as good as any Walmart greeter I've ever seen. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2570 Our president calls it the "crooked pillory." 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2571 He made inappropriate comments to his treadmill desk. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2572 It may not be art but we know what we like 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2573 To answer your question, yes, we do have penalties for early withdrawal. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2574 They're very strict here. No ties with dots. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2575 I guess that's what the memo meant about getting public stock. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2576 The benefits package may be good, but the stock options are constrained 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2577 Yeah, our stock's down today. Usually it's up in the cafeteria. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2578 As our new intern, don't tell the brokers getting into stocks is easy. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2579 I miss the bucket of ripe tomatoes. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2580 He wore white after Labor Day 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2581 They can't test the guillotine. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2582 I know sitting is the new smoking, but that's ridiculous. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2583 HR will explain our creative stock options packages for new employees. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2584 That's what happens sometimes when you hit "Reply All." 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2585 He microwaved fish. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2586 Best not to ask about stock options.. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2587 That brings a whole new look to tie die. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2588 That's the CEO's timeout. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2589 Fred’s the last guy I’d think of as being into stocks and bondage. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2590 If you lie on your tax return you pay the consequences. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2591 He punched his time card a minute early. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2592 '--- but he persisted' 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2593 It's the quaint old fashioned little touches that I like about this place, 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2594 He used his personal email for work. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2595 He just won't stop hitting "Reply All". 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2596 Oh good, you made it through that yellow light. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2597 Touched the thermostat 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2598 I see Eric's won the employee of the month again. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2599 It's a penalty for early withdrawal. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2600 Just don't ask for a raise and you'll be fine. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2601 Don't pity him. He's got a 401(k) and full health care. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2602 They used to just encourage people to find another job. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2603 The Attorney General does not like to be laughed at. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2604 No cell phones allowed I see! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2605 It's the "Think Again" tank. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2606 Forget modern art, medieval art is the latest craze. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2607 I warned him not to get into stocks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2608 Oh, him? He's serving a micro-punishment for violating multiple trigger warnings. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2609 His 'hands-off' approach got to his head. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2610 This office fantasy football league has gone too far. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2611 The firm is very proud of its long tradition. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2612 He forgot to update the security software, and 140 million customers got hacked. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2613 Maybe I won't ask if they validate parking. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2614 He won't be drawing this week's New Yorker cartoon. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2615 They've replaced 'verbal warning' in the progressive discipline process. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2616 He wore that tie on business casual Friday! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2617 Hows that for a plunge, 80th floor senior partner to this. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2618 And here is our unemployee of the month. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2619 He sent an email that should have been a pointless meeting. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2620 This company is so Puritanical! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2621 Remember what your Mom said. 'It's not polite to stare.' 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2622 It was that or bonds. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2623 I guess it is better than getting your pay docked... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2624 I heard he microwaved fish in the break room last week. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2625 Can't wait to see what they've been doing with our bonds... 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2626 You cannot go wrong with a skinny tie! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2627 What are you staring at? 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2628 "You're in luck, there's only one in front of you"! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2629 Oh him? He's our new stock analyst. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2630 I know where I can find some rotten apples . 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2631 It's our 3-D printed downtown jacket. Catalog only. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2632 I see the company's stock is up. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2633 He left a voicemail 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2634 This is Stocks, we should be in the Bonds dept. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2635 I'm glad to see we're getting back to our old fashioned values. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2636 He's our stock picker. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2637 Oh, is that one of your stockholders? 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2638 Stocks are up again. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2639 He failed his Ethics Retraining. Our HR department is pretty strict. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2640 It's to make it easy for our head hunter. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2641 Gives new meaning to stock options. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2642 Well, he did say he wanted to have a major stock in the company. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2643 He's awaiting his disciplinary hearing with H.R. tomorrow. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2644 Well, he WAS warned not to text while in board meetings..... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2645 Lockup period. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2646 My broker advised us to stay away from those stocks.. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2647 Fidget spinner violation, third offense. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2648 He stole a toaster. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2649 I still think they should have put him in bonds. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2650 At Puritan Hardware, we take missed sales quota seriously. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2651 That wall decor would fit perfectly into some stupid cartoon. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2652 He used to be in bonds. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2653 He pushed all of the elevator buttons. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2654 Performance art? No I don't think so, Ed. Remember who's in the White House. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2655 He took the severence package. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2656 He forgot his PIN, again. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2657 Intersting... he's normally wearing a bow-tie 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2658 Employee of the month ain't what it used to be 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2659 We take the weekly football pool pretty seriously around here. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2660 Good thing we taught our kids not to text too much. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2661 I think you have crossed over the event horizon. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2662 I believe he was caught eating someone else's lunch. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2663 Jeez!! I told Tim to stay out of stocks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2664 There's a matching one in the conference room. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2665 To be fair, George, you're the one who demanded a more transparent corporate culture. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2666 Quite a demonstration in this suicide prevention clinic. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2667 You'd think he'd learn already. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2668 Well, if I were management I wouldn't have handled it like that, but his hands really were too small for the job. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2669 Did I mention that microwaving leftover fish is a no-no? 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2670 Another reality show applicant. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2671 I'm still not sure about these new ergonomic work-desks 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2672 I told him to stay away from Stocks 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2673 This is what happens when you don't diversify and go completely into stocks! 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
2674 Jeez, this place is tough on their interns! 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2675 It's nice to see a financial advisor who actually researches stocks. 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
2676 Classic Bill: always the kidder around bonus time. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2677 He's the Head of the Social Media Department, he's in the stocks because he didn't get enough shares. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
2678 So much for political correctness in the Trump era 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
2679 Should I pull on his tie so he will know what's he's in for? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2680 Well, if you can think of a better way to get people to stop using "reply all" I'd love to hear it. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2681 I should tell you that we do have strict sales quotas. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2682 He was encouraged to speak openly 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2683 It's new policy when you don't hit your numbers. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2684 That's not art. That's Art. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2685 I heard that stocks were going to go up. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2686 I see the company's stock is up. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2687 These are the real stocks and bonds guys. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2688 My headache doesn't require a second opinion anymore. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2689 Oh, Ted there's just really into stocks and bonds. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2690 threw out his receipt ticket. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2691 He thought the Alt-Right was a type of country music so he liked their Facebook page. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2692 The stock market can be confining for some investors.... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2693 Oh, I'm not sure it captures enough reality to make it really work for me. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2694 At least he's not tarred and feathered. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2695 Not what I expected when I read they were leaders in the stock market. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2696 We've been exploring new stock options. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2697 Here we're old school. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2698 I see Jeanine is on a power trip again. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2699 He's been quite successful investing in stocks. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2700 Jones was never astute in choosing stock options. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
2701 Poor guy. He used "reply all" one too many times. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
2702 That's Jim from corporate. He wanted to disrupt the industry a little too much. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
2703 That gives a whole new meaning to 'employee of the month'. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
2704 he's, like, a centrist? i don't know, who cares 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
2705 I guess that promotion request didn't quite work out for him. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
2706 Poetic justice for crashing the stock exchange. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
2707 Thank God the higher ups have done away with being drawn and quartered! 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
2708 He was hired as a greeter but kept wandering off. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
2709 He wasn't kidding when he said he was getting into stocks. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
2710 He claimed white privilege again. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
2711 He's the entertainment for lunchtime. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
2712 The artist calls it Pillory Clinton. It's a real covfefe, if you ask me. 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
2713 Don't feed the underachievers. 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
2714 Frank, I told you what happens at home stays at home! 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
2715 I'd rather die than be seen in that 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
2716 I guess he brought up paternal leave again. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2717 The trick is to not make eye contact. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2718 For some reason I don't think he's going to do well in stocks. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2719 I told him not to take more paper clips. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2720 We're doing our part, making America great again. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2721 So there's the stocks. Now where are the bonds? 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2722 It looks like Bradly forgot his password again. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2723 Having health insurance really does have it's advantages. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2724 I told you not to hit "Reply all" on an email 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2725 He provides stock aid. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2726 Jimmy used the wrong pronoun. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2727 Rents received after the 10th are subject to a $100 late fee or........ 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2728 just so you know, don't ask for stock aide options 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2729 I'm sure you'll have some questions about our employee stock program. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2730 I don't think that's helping make our lobby look any less nondescript. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2731 He didn't tape all 4 sides of his receipts to his expense report. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2732 The pitch is to get retirees into stocks. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2733 That's the result of leaving the lid up in our gender neutral bathrooms. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2734 He paid the rack rate, but he'll save on transportation. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2735 Another reply all and he gets the rack 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2736 He's the guy that sent the 'Reply All' to the company-wide email. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2737 It's the corporate art rotation program. This month's is called Stocks and Bondage. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2738 Ted didn't submit timecards on time. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2739 He got tired of saying "You're fired!". 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2740 Wagner. Twelfth floor. Accounting. Asked the summer intern to drive his daughter's soccer carpool while he went to "Hamilton." 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2741 It's not so bad. There's plenty of potential for upward mobility. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2742 I thought it was Corporal NOT Corporate Punishment! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2743 They failed to use the preferred gender pronoun. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2744 Yeah, right now he's in stocks, but he used to be in bonds. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2745 It's a pun. Bonds are one floor up. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2746 If you'd witnessed his behavior at the office party, you'd understand. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2747 Employee of the Month Not. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2748 That reminds me. Be sure to make your sales quota. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2749 He must've said the news was real 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2750 So, that's the penalty for early withdrawal. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2751 He's just letting his hands rest from the computer use. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2752 Pant suits suck. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2753 They've diversified into stocks and bondage. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2754 The new 'employee of the month'! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2755 We have a very empathetic CEO. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2756 Caught using Android. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2757 He started in the board room. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2758 An accurate representation of todays life, very few people worry about others in their times of need. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2759 After his bad experience, it's sad to see Fred back into stocks! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2760 He forgot to water the plants. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2761 He was caught watching Renaissance porn on the internet 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2762 Oh that? That's a promotion. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2763 Looks like the newest candidate for their stocks portfolio 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2764 Just because his tie is too long? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2765 he's in Stocks and Bonds.. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2766 Guess it is true that Rob got out of bonds and into stocks. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2767 Picked the wrong stock. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2768 I hear mixed reviews about the stock options. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2769 are you still thinking about the employee stock option? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2770 The next time he's late, he gets branded with an L. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2771 What do you think he's in for?" "Going over the caption limitation 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2772 The new HR administrator believes in old school punishment. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2773 He's on digital detox. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2774 Looks like he got really stuck at this job. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2775 Poor James. He must have offended Donald. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2776 Clearly our new investment chief places greater value on stocks and bonds. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2777 Go with bonds 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2778 I heard he called the company "literally medieval" one too many times. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2779 He just went in to ask for a raise. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2780 Too bad about Roy... the lengths we have to go to these days to keep people off Twitter at work. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2781 Looks like stocks are up. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2782 MOMA has officially run out of ideas. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2783 It's called Public Display of Affliction. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2784 Just another fad diet 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2785 He's the one responsible for losing our top account. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2786 He micro-aggressed the custodian 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2787 The boss does not like puppet shows. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2788 Google him. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2789 Looks like that fella's in trouble. He probably farted piss out of his ass. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2790 We're in the wrong store. This is Stocks and Barrel. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2791 Oh, he's not being punished... he's being celebrated for being for late. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2792 Did they run out of pink slips? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2793 Customer survey favored no banking fees. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2794 I believe he messed up the boss's lunch order. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2795 Ponzi scheme. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2796 As you can see, employee stock ownership is taken quite seriously here 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2797 When stocks become bonds. . . 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2798 I wonder if he used too much toilet paper ? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2799 They specialize in stocks and bondage. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2800 I don't think we should get our loan here--I hear they have a rough collection group. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2801 I warned him about saying anything bad about Trump 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2802 Are you coming or are you just going to stand there? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2803 HR is now in charge of stock options. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2804 Don't mind him. He's taking puns to a new level. Say, are you into stocks? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2805 At the very least, he could at least ask us how our day is going. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2806 They say he'll speak if you pull his tie. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2807 I heard they have some pretty serious penalties for early withdrawal. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2808 wow... they'll call anything art these days... 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2809 As you may have surmised, we run a tight corporate culture here. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2810 It was that or lose a week's pay. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2811 What do I do? Oh, I'm in stocks. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2812 Stock art is everywhere these days. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2813 Trump's latest invention. He's planning on installing more of them on the White House lawn. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2814 Looks like the boss got himself a whipping boy. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2815 HR said he declined the sensitivity training course. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2816 I say let's go with the junk bonds rather than the secure stocks. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2817 On second thought, let's stick with the bonds market. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2818 Hey buddy, can you spare a sawbuck for a mocha latte? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2819 How many 'likes' do you suppose he'll get? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2820 Why would CNN send a spokesperson to Trump Towers? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2821 Don't worry, he'll still be there later. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2822 Which reminds me, have you noticed the company's stock hasn't moved much lately? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2823 Looks like they've rolled out the stocks option performance incentive program. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2824 Honey, I think he's suffering from Stock Home Syndrome. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2825 Remind me to clean up my microwave spills in the staff room. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2826 We're still trying to decide if having small hands is a crime. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2827 This is what we do to the whistleblowers 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2828 One more thing, never park in someone else's spot. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2829 told you no sex during working hours 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2830 I'm short TOM stock. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2831 I heard Jones is on his way out. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2832 It was his choice. He could've worn a scarlet letter. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2833 You just don't microwave fish at the workplace. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2834 He used to be president of the 'stocks' exchange. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2835 He simply refuses to diversify. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2836 Individualized incentives really increased participation in the employee wellness program. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2837 I guess we're supposed to think of some humiliating and inhumane acts to impose on him. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2838 And try not to be late-they're very strict. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2839 He wore a tie last casual Friday. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2840 "The security is really tight in this condo". 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2841 That's his fifteen minutes. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2842 Ah, I see another morale improvement initiative is underway. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2843 We never tell them that they have to press *9#82*# to get out. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2844 I'm thinking about getting one of those standing desks 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2845 Look, isn't that Art? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2846 Dunno, but maybe it's a warning for Dodd-Frank supporters! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2847 It's a new approach to Mindfulness 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2848 That Shia LaBeouf guy needs a new agent. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2849 This is one company where stocks are more secure than bonds. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2850 He feels he should have gotten off with a just a warning. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2851 We take lunch theft very seriously! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2852 Remember when forced vacation wasn't a thing? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2853 Sad, he doesn't even look surprised that he is next. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2854 He responded to a Trump tweet. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2855 He kept asking HR for a standing desk. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2856 I might do that too for a point off my mortgage rate. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2857 He got caught playing Galaga again. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2858 Must've called the boss Tyrion again. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2859 I see Harris took the stock option. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2860 I see Harry's been leaking documents again. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2861 Guess I misunderstood when Ed said that stocks would be the death of him yet. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2862 It's actually more ergonomic than being chained to your desk. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2863 We believe in putting Lobbyists in their place 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2864 Now that's retro 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2865 Hard way to earn your golden parachute. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2866 New hire; next week he is tar and feathered 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2867 Corporate hazing...the new CEO was a Penn State fraternity member. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2868 Our company stock options here are a bit different. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2869 It must be their stock in trade. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2870 He's applying for a position in the stockroom. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2871 Gallows humor is healthy for our core competency. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2872 Looks like Perkins didn't make a new pot of coffee again... 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2873 He voted for Trump. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2874 It's for millennials to learn how to tie a tie. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2875 Our new CEO is into servile leadership. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2876 It's the penalty for poor performance art. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2877 It's a metaphor that got carried away. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2878 Lousy way to fire somebody, huh? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2879 I told him to stick to bonds 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2880 If stockade is not your thing, we've got lemonade in the cafe. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2881 Our new standing workstations...it's supposed to he healthier. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2882 He's from Stockton. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2883 You say Hilary; I say pillory.' 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2884 He left the cover sheet off his TPS report. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2885 We do things a little differently here. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2886 It has cut down on sexual harassment immensely. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2887 He's lucky he's still got a job. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2888 We offer a competitive stockade purchase plan. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2889 That's a shame. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2890 Serves him right! ...caught quoting Breitbart again ...and look at that gawdawful tie! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2891 Him? He took our stock option. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2892 I hear he hit Reply All. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2893 The things people will do to get out of doing work... 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2894 It's part of our new program of incentivization. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2895 We're kinda an old fashioned company. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2896 Ted said he dabbled in stocks on the side, but this is ridiculous. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2897 I think I like the Banking Commission's new penalties for Wells Fargo. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2898 It's the company's one percent for the arts. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2899 He always was a pain in the neck ! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2900 How about a tie rack for your birthday? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2901 Looks like stocks are up again today 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2902 Yeah, it's part of our new stocks and bondage program. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2903 It's HR's new integrated workplace accountability and transparency initiative. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2904 We're finally taking the diversity policy seriously around here. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2905 If you want to torture your husband, you've come to the right place. Teach him a lesson. Sign up here. Give me his credit card to start with. Squeeze him in his wallet. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2906 I think he needs better advice when it comes to stocks. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2907 Want to see if he's ticklish? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2908 He was caught sexting on company time. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2909 He mistakenly CC'ed the whole company this week's New Yorker cartoon. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2910 He's overdrawn again. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2911 Is this the stocks exchange? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2912 I forgot the tomatoes. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2913 Employee of the month ain't what it used to be 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2914 He slept with the boss's wife. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2915 It's about time they did something about the people that come in late! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2916 He's the new stocks and bonds expert. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2917 Looks like Tim didn't read the fine print on that "stock options" email from Human Resources. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2918 Guess who was caught stealing lunches? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2919 The company is unforgiving about being sold short. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2920 You don't see stock options like that anymore. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2921 Well, his LinkedIn page does say "Interests include stocks and bondage", but I just assumed that it was a typo. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2922 The irony is he was hoping for a pay raise. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2923 inventor of the suggestion box 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2924 You mind picking me up an espresso macchiato? And a straw. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2925 Looks like the boss's 'get tough' policy went into effect. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2926 What did Howie do to get the first standing desk? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2927 Maybe now he'll get the NSFW concept. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2928 Bob was caught printing out his emails. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2929 Guess it wasn't his stock-in-trade 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2930 He's the last holdout with an email signature quote. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2931 I told Todd not to ask about his stock options. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2932 Yep, he left the seat up in the unisex bathroom 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2933 I like his tie 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2934 That's why I stick with bonds. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2935 Earnings season. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2936 I see they already invested the new guy in the stock and bonds. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2937 He had one job to do .... 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2938 He has to stay there until he thinks up a better decorating scheme for the reception area. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2939 This is a minimalist hotel. He asked for extra towels. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2940 That's our head of legal. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2941 Wow! This place must have really stiff penalties for overdrafts! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2942 Millennials will do anything for attention. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2943 That's right - stocks are on this floor, bonds are on 11. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2944 Dare I ask him where he got his tie? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2945 ...Stole the boss's lunch. Well, at least he didn't get the scarlet 'L' like the last guy... 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2946 He has such small hands. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2947 New policy - if you get a bad review you have to do a low-performance art installation for a week. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2948 I guess they're trying to discourage loitering around here. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2949 He forgot to ask about stock options. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2950 We're very relaxed here, whatWEEKLY Rod does during his coffee break is his own business. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2951 He made the mistake of asking about our stock option plan. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2952 Oh, that's Jenkins. He's being incentivized to move the needle, think outside the box, and recognize the new paradigm. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2953 Did he sell low and buy high? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2954 Maybe we should cancel our IRS hearing. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2955 That's David. Head of our new Stocks and Bondage Department. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2956 Oh I see, when you came to work for a Stocks company you thought it was the other kind. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2957 Have you met the head of the board? 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2958 'Shame on him.' 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2959 It's one of Bannon's new loyalty initiatives. I guess Chris failed the litmus test. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2960 Ah, the employee of the month. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2961 He took the elevator up one floor. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2962 He really should have thought twice before taking paternity leave. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2963 At least he has a standing desk. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2964 Rumor is the parking attendent got a tip that he's actually not 'employee of the month' 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2965 This is what happens if your tie is longer than his. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2966 And that's only for stealing pencils. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2967 When the boss said "stocks are going up," I thought he was referring to the market. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2968 He really takes working in stocks to a whole other level. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2969 I prefer the old stock options 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2970 He wanted to get rid of casual Friday. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2971 He didn't put a cover sheet on his TPS Report. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2972 Our security team has a thing for medieval tactics. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2973 Guess they finally figured out who stole the lunches from the break room frig... 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2974 I hear it's supposed to be a counterbalance to the Employee of the Month program. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2975 Just be sure to turn your timesheets in on time. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2976 It's my low tech idea for our high tech job seekers. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2977 Resistance is futile. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2978 He invested in Snapchat. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2979 Don't mind Bob. He's just really into stocks. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2980 I don't know. That tie IS pretty bad... 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2981 Remember that when you're thinking "early withdrawal". 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2982 We're doing upward reviews this week. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2983 Don't ask. No, seriously. Don't ask! Asking is out! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2984 I see Smedley missed his quota again this month. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2985 He supports the border wall. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2986 'Jeremy's in the "Reply All" stocks again." 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2987 Oh, right...and don't be late to meetings. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2988 Did you prepay for the room? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2989 It's like a time out chair for recidivists. Trump's idea. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2990 I tried to switch to another cellphone service provider before my agreement expired... 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2991 Ed staged a sit-down strike at his stand-up desk. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2992 The stock options aren't great, but the employee cafeteria is free. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2993 Bonds is one floor up. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2994 Actually Fred's lucky. He could've easily have lost his job! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2995 I don't pity him. I'm sick of people jamming the copier and just walking away. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2996 He wouldn't go paperless. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2997 Stocks are up. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2998 I knew he would figure out a way to get out of paying for lunch this week. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2999 Since when can you hang out in the lobby? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3000 You might want to rethink your job interview. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3001 Personnel used to handle disciplinary actions confidentially. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3002 That's a new program to motivate the sales team... 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3003 Must be a clip on 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3004 Looks like Bob qualified for the stock options plan. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3005 That shirt looks so uncomfortable but the tie makes it work. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3006 Our CEO finally found who moved his cheese ... 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3007 Don't worry, it's just my new standing desk. My back feels great. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3008 Disgusting? I agree. Less than 6% of pilloried employees are women. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3009 It was an all Salem jury pool. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3010 "Oh, him, he's just waiting for his veteran's, 'VA' loan approval"! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3011 Just added a seventh Sigma. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3012 I wonder where the bucket of stones has been moved. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3013 Morning, John 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3014 It lacks a human element. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3015 He complained about his cubicle. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3016 He pilfered too many office supplies. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3017 It's for those who don't have the discipline for a standing desk 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3018 Gary's in stocks and bonds. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3019 But we're in bonds. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3020 He's pitching the employee stock plan. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3021 Wow, so that's really Sheriff Joe? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3022 It's to stop him scratching , he's got poison ivy 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3023 He sold his bonds and said he was going into stocks. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3024 It comes with a standing desk. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3025 I remember MY first unpaid internship. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3026 He wore a tie on 'Casual Friday. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3027 Some people think that's a bonus. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3028 First infraction. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3029 I don't like these stock options. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3030 He trashed all of our stocks! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3031 I thought he was in bonds. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3032 Glick used a flip phone in the executive conference room. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3033 He's in stocks. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3034 If you think the stocks guy is kinky, you should see the bonds guy! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3035 Charles is our stock expert. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3036 He suggested we show tolerance for opposing ideas. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3037 Hmm, future me obviously came back in time to warn present me about something, but I'm gonna choose to ignore it. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3038 It's pre-internet technology. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3039 Everyone's a Critic. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3040 Poor old Fueqsnog. Refused to do the Myers-Briggs again. HR Director did say it was his last chance. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3041 Maybe next time he'll think twice before replying to all 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3042 This is what happens when you win the boss' fantasy football league 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3043 Left yogurt in the fridge too long.... You should see the punishment for leaving open Chinese food containers. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3044 The stockade is a bit much for not silencing your phone in the office. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3045 If he manages to get free it'll make him a stockbroker. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3046 His tweets were becoming a liability 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3047 Still a stockbroker. Never an investment banker. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3048 Well, you know. He kept using reply all. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3049 We found it's much more effective than sending out mass memo's from HR. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3050 Smart board presentations sure have evolved! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3051 He's just there so the boss can show us that it COULD be worse. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3052 It's the firm of Lock, Stock, and Barrel . 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3053 There's just so many times that you can tell someone not to put back an empty creamer in the office fridge 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3054 I told you they have security cameras on the suggestion box. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3055 We have a pretty strict Reply All policy here. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3056 He bet on the wrong stocks 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3057 Frank lost his brief case again. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3058 We devote 10% of our time to passion projects. This guy likes to dabble in stocks. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3059 That's Bill. He works in stocks. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3060 I hate performance art. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3061 HR decided to cut back on 'employee of the month' picture frames 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3062 He chose the stock option. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3063 Boo hoo; standing at work is healthier than sitting. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3064 I heard it's the latest in the company benefits. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3065 Looks like someone has a bad case of the Monday's. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3066 He took fifteen minute too long on his lunch break. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3067 And then he said, 'But her emails.' 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3068 Our CEO really is a queen...when she says " off with their heads... they really roll!" 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3069 What happens in Vegas - stays in Vegas 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3070 They say it's better than the standing desk. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3071 It's a show-me stock. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3072 He's our stock analyst 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3073 He used "HERS". 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
3074 Oh look, the Iron Maidens are on sale. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3075 "...subject to penalty for early withdrawal." - Joe will ask about the fine print next time. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3076 He's the new guy in Stocks and Bonds. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3077 We finally found a way to stop employees from using Reply-All. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3078 We're bullish on stocks. Bearish on bonds. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3079 I guess he's in stocks... 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3080 Boy, they really take this recycling thing seriously here. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3081 Is that mahogany?" "Nope, i'm pretty sure it's Steve from Corporate Affairs. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3082 Congress must be in recess. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3083 That's Giles for you. All about the stock options. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3084 It's different from the Hobby Lobby back home. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3085 "He's currently in stocks". 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3086 Whistling in the elevator. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3087 The wood is just something for people to knock on. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3088 He didn't sign in. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3089 Oh dear! Do you know if it was stocks or bonds? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3090 It's the only way we can get people to stop texting! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3091 Stocks and Bonds. Glad we picked Bonds. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3092 We do demand some sacrifices from our retiring employees. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3093 He wouldn't get on the same page. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3094 I heard this sperm bank added overdraft protection! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3095 It was that or lead the software conversion. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3096 He picked the wrong stock again. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3097 Last place in the office fantasy football league. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3098 Management does not encourage opposing views. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3099 Any new initiative is being punished here the old fashioned way. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3100 His missed his numbers. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3101 Poor slob went for the stocks option. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3102 Stocks must have hit a record low. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3103 OSHA said no beheadings, so maintenance took off the blades. Go figure. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3104 HR is giving Torture Fridays a try. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3105 Just wait till you see the people in bonds. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3106 We have a tenacious collection department. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3107 I see why “Stronger Together” was chosen for the pillory slogan. 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
3108 Managements new policy for reporting fake news 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3109 Meanwhile at Charlie Hebdo Headquarters. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3110 That's part of the company's stocks incentive plan. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3111 As you can see they have a very strict sexual harassment policy here. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3112 Ouch, looks like Arnold was late to the War Room Meeting again. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3113 His cartoon wasn't accepted. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3114 Bob just couldn't take the stock option like the rest of us. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3115 Ross, would you like a cough drop? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3116 He's trying to quit Twitter and wants to be a role model. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3117 He wanted a person to answer our phones. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3118 It's voluntary. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3119 He threatened to use online banking. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3120 Bad stock pick. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3121 He's been there for eight months. Surely by now he regrets voting for Trump? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3122 For telling the truth, first offense. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3123 I guess the tellers are taking part in the Wells Fargo new PR campaign. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3124 He's a stockholder. The bondholders are in strait-jackets. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3125 No, he's being punished for 'leaking' on the President not leaking on him. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3126 Quick, lend him your phone for a selfie. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3127 If he had taken stock of his underperforming stocks, he wouldn't be in that stock. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3128 He's the new intern in Stocks and Bonds. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3129 That's just the HR guy who recommended that we all switch over to standing desks. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3130 Oh, that's just his new stand up desk 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3131 He should have tried Bonds. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3132 The company stocks are doing well! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3133 It was an early withdrawal. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3134 Well, that new CEO did say heads were gonna roll. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3135 He's a reminder of our old culture. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3136 The judge gave him stock options: a fine or stocks. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3137 We take suspensions literally here. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3138 He's being literally pilloried. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3139 Dunno, but think it has something to do with him not being 'Agile' enough. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3140 Seems appropriate, since his stocks have plummeted three times in the last month. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3141 So what is it this time? More positive remarks about Trump? 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
3142 I only hope he has the keys when 5:00 rolls around. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
3143 Looks like Mike won't have any bandwidth for that project. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
3144 Overdraft fees. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
3145 I am terrible with first names but the Clones are here. 1.1212 0.08436 33 31 0 2
3146 It's our new employee of the month program. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
3147 While I don't approve of punishing people for what they wear, that really is an awful tie. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
3148 He is under investigation for pencil theft. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
3149 I tried to tell him not to take anyone's lunch. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
3150 Got all our receipts? 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
3151 A diverse portfolio always includes stocks. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
3152 IT"S PART OF OUR SEXUAL HARASSMENT PROGRAM 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
3153 Sometimes I think they're just doing it for the attention. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
3154 Morning, John 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
3155 Our stocks' up today. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
3156 Late lunches won't cost your job, but they can lead to embarrassment. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
3157 I bet he wishes he was more in bonds. 1.1212 0.05770 33 29 4 0
3158 That certainly looks bad. But remember what our boss taught us here: both sides can be blamed. 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
3159 Don't forget the new company policy. Organic vegetables only. 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
3160 He wouldn't duplex 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
3161 He chose public humiliation over indictment. 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
3162 Our corporate culture may not be as liberal as some, but I actually think you'll enjoy the ducking stool. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3163 OOOOO look at him. I think he speculated on the wrong stock. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
3164 The stock market isn't what it used to be. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
3165 At least his internal memo didn't get him fired 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3166 That's what happens when you're against minimum wage. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3167 A perp stand! Our forefathers had it right! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3168 That's Donaldson, he parked in the CEO reserved parking space. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3169 Better he failed to know our stock price quiz than our branding strategy. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3170 We're between H.R. managers at the moment. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3171 He was given a time-out. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3172 Thankfully, the SEC let us commission a performance artist. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3173 This is our best recent version, completely replacing the original Salem model. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3174 He failed to make his sales quota last quarter 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3175 So much for the Tolerant Left. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3176 Finally got him: blasphemy, treason, witchcraft and parking overtime 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3177 Looks like James forgot to cc Carol again. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3178 They really are cracking down on the male programmers, eh? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3179 He misspelled the word pillory in a press release. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3180 Oh, he wrote the last Lucky Strike commercial 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3181 The boss found out he voted for Trump 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3182 They're very serious about 'Use Other Door'. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3183 New guy. Into stocks and bondage. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3184 "He was heard in the main gallery criticizing the paintings of Jackson Pollock". 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3185 He's been told three times to cool it on the kids' pictures. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3186 He works in stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3187 His start-up's stock went public today. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3188 Looks like someone didn't leverage stakeholder buy-in. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3189 He said he was cornering the stock market. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3190 He paid his bill in Bit Coin 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3191 He parked in the wrong spot. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3192 Johnson was late. And boss watches a lot of "Game of Thrones.' 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3193 HR frowns upon heating up leftover fish in the break room microwave. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3194 After lunch, Marty will run through our stock options program with you. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3195 HR has way too much power. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3196 He left the toilet seat up. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3197 Headquarters is really cracking down on political ties. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3198 Looks like somebody forgot to do their time-tracking again last week. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3199 He must have forgotten to unplug the coffee maker. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3200 He must have forgotten to unplug the coffee maker. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3201 I don’t think he understood when they offered him the stock option. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3202 He said something good about Trump. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3203 They have a proven disincentives program. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3204 We better use American Express. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3205 Fred! I heard you got promoted up from branding. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3206 The company uses its common stocks as an employee incentive. It's a shame you don't work here. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3207 Stocks are not looking good today. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3208 Accounting is getting serious. He stapled his receipts to his expense report instead of clipping them. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3209 The ad said "Be heavily invested in stocks!" 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3210 He is the one. "Employee of the week". 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3211 I guess HIS broker, didn't give him. good news about his stocks. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3212 Our CEO just came back from a "Ren Faire" management workshop 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3213 Kim shouldn't have threatened to launch a subsidiary. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3214 Passive aggressive bull, and that tie! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3215 Don't come back late from lunch. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3216 Tomorrow, a solid tie, okay? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3217 He's into stocks and bondage. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3218 His initial public offering of stocks has been underwhelming. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3219 It's one of these new yoga treatments 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3220 Well if that doesn't teach them to stop manspreading during rush hour, then it's just hopeless. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3221 It's a very effective way of discouraging selfies. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3222 If you think that's bad, you should see what they do to guys in the bonds office. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3223 We put this in our lobby to make it easier to check our stocks... 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3224 McConnell forgot to turn his timesheet in. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3225 Bonds let me sleep better. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3226 He got caught up with some risky stocks. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3227 I guess we ran out of hanging space. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3228 We take our brand reputation very seriously. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3229 We are very serious about anyone saying "hot mess". 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3230 My mother keeps telling me to find a stand up kind of guy. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3231 It just arrived from Corporate. They call it "radical transparency" now. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3232 He microwaved fish I the lunch room. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3233 Obviously, Trump couldn't really fire Jared, so this was the next best option. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3234 "People around here get upset if you forget to contribute to the coffee fund. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3235 He must be a stock broker. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3236 This standing desk trend is going too far. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3237 So glad I got out of day trading. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3238 Looks like Frank upset the Duke of Advertising again... 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3239 When demanding stock options on your first day, management obliges. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3240 You wouldn't catch me wearing that tie. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3241 Do you still want to be interviewed for the job? 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3242 At a startup, many employees choose to get paid in "stocks." 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3243 It's a reminder not to go against company policy ! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3244 He's a new stockholder. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3245 He dressed for casual Friday on Thursday... 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3246 He was against investing in bonds. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3247 He complained about the boss on Facebook. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3248 The new boss is proud of his Puritan heritage, apparently. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3249 Is that Art? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3250 It appears that Rod's efforts to promote telecommuting at today's Senior Staff meeting weren't appreciated. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3251 He's our stock analyst 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3252 Yeah its sad, bur at least it isn't wood veneer. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3253 I have no sympathy. Did you see the killer parking space he had last month? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3254 I see Richard's stock is up. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3255 I hear that being put in the bonds is a whole lot more fun. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3256 You should've seen what happened to the loser of the hangman game. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3257 Ignore him. It's the worst punishment. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3258 That's Begley. They moved Stocks and Bonds department to this floor last week. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3259 Standing desks sure are getting popular. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3260 That's what you get for going to H.R. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3261 There's stocks. Now where's bonds? 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3262 He's in training to see if he qualifies for a stand-up desk. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3263 He cooked fish in the microwave. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3264 Management's new approach to curb twittering. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3265 We take PC violations at our firm very seriously. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3266 We offer a generous stock option. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3267 Stock options! You never know what you're getting into. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3268 Witch hunt, believe me 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3269 He's on probation. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3270 We'd better say "Yes." 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3271 He was asked to take stock of himself. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3272 Had the nerve to ask for a raise. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3273 Actually, he belongs in bonds. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3274 He prefers to be called 'Arthur'. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3275 Our new employee orientation program is pure torture. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3276 The Post-it did say to clean up your dishes—or else! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3277 Work in the stock market was not what Johnathan had expected. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3278 Seriously Jane, I dont think I will ever understand modern art... 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3279 - He is our CEO. He is waiting for the Board members! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3280 That's what you get for being late for your appointment! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3281 He was caught sexting on company time. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3282 Worst staycation ever. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3283 Late again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3284 Obviously, don't forget your ID. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3285 That carries a captive message. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3286 He always said he wanted to work in stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3287 They said that they were changing our stock option, but REALLY? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3288 Ohh that's just Bill Board. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3289 We try to respect tradition. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3290 Yes, it is Art. Art from accounting. He parked in the boss' spot one too many times. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3291 I was tired of employees asking for stock options. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3292 It's been like this ever since the C.E.O. read, "The Art of War". 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3293 Which comes first the stock or the stockade? 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3294 I heard the new director is a bit on the puritanical side. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3295 He got his bonus in stock. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3296 He moved the cheese. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3297 He asked for a raise. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3298 Looks like stocks are up again. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3299 Bonds are always safer 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3300 Parked in Mr. Carlson's parking spot. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3301 I'm not certain I like HR's newest modification of the standup desk. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3302 He tried to sneak past the receptionist. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3303 He said he'd rather be thrown into the stocks than go through that Excel spreadsheet. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3304 Looks like Tom forgot to punch in again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3305 There's a bug on my neck? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3306 He's the head of the stock lobby. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3307 I warned him that the Silicon Valley stuff wouldn't fly around here. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3308 He's a bond man no more. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3309 He lacked synergy 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3310 Take heed to the no cell phone zones. They take breaches seriously here. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3311 Whatever you do, don't ask about stock options. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3312 He gave bad advice on stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3313 Well, better than paying the extra fees, I guess.... 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3314 Burning Man is so tight. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3315 Hey Jerry....sharp tie! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3316 They say he didn't check his spam folder for a whole month 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3317 Folding, spindling, and mutilating is still a crime in these parts. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3318 He was on our right side yesterday. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3319 It's part of the new selection process for CEO personal assistant. The rack comes next... 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3320 Modern art is rubbish. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3321 George had a personal server. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3322 He must have failed to meet his monthly quota. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3323 Cruel, yes, but he'll never microwave fish in the break room again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3324 Bob's really shackled to his work. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3325 We offer all our miscreants the traditional stocks or bonds, but he plumped for the pillory. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3326 Before we went paperless, HR would've just put a letter of warning in his file. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3327 It's part of the bond trading association's new marketing campaign. "No one wants to be in stocks." 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3328 I'm guessing he's on for the day. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3329 Late for work three days in a row 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3330 You're going to love working here. Just don't wear jeans on Wednesday. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3331 Stocks and bonds. Who knew? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3332 Jeff's our stocks and bondage consultant. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3333 Does this mean he's not still the Employee of the Month? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3334 He didn't clean out the lunchroom microwave after use. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3335 You should see his legacy bonds account. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3336 He requested a standing desk. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3337 He was their poster child of the 90's, but he just wouldn't stay on the wall. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3338 I guess he forgot to water the plants. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3339 Well this is the STOCK market! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3340 He should have said "I want to start investing" not "I want to get in to the stocks" 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3341 The fashion police are really taking this "tie-below-the-belt" thing seriously. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3342 It's my turn on Friday. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3343 He's been showing Black & Mexican couples houses for sale in white neighborhoods; and offering them the same interest & downpayment rates that their credit & annual income white counterparts get offered! Bad Realtor! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3344 He always wanted to be in Stocks and Bonds. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3345 Our department is real strict on spoilers. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3346 Believe it or not , he's very good at selling stocks. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3347 OK Ken, we all know your company's stock is really hot right now. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3348 They got him for wearing a tie longer than Trump's. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3349 Darling, I think we should read the fine print one more time. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3350 Oh, he is our current performance artist. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3351 He assumed that the new position was in Sales and Marketing. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3352 It is the Company's way of telling Fred he's no longer upwardly mobile here. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3353 All I said was, "Would it kill you to wear a tie?" 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3354 Someone told him he should take stock of himself. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3355 He asked for a stock option. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3356 Robert's only crime? His last name is Lee. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3357 He really thinks that he is being cute. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3358 Take stock. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3359 He said he admires Ray Dalio. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3360 He heads our workplace ethics task force. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3361 He's over-leveraged in stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3362 Looks like Wilson's sales numbers are down again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3363 Hi, John. He used to work for President Trump. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3364 You still back there? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3365 THis is what happens if you say something good about Trump. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3366 WOW-imagine what they do if you take home a pen AND a pencil ! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3367 He should have known better than to park in his boss's parking spot. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3368 Corporate art is getting a little too up-close-and-personal, don't you think? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3369 Management had lobbied for an iron maiden until HR referenced Uday Hussein. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3370 He did not "like" the boss' tweets 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3371 He's our first practicing masochist. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3372 It's the CEO's little joke for anyone who mentions the stock price. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3373 Even the CEO gets his privilege checked here. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3374 It's called wearable art. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3375 He got caught doing insider stockade trading. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3376 Oh, and here's my stock market advisor. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3377 He kept asking for more stock options 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3378 Hey put a sock in it buster...you know what happens when you sneak s chat on your smartphone! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3379 Looks like they outsourced the HR department. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3380 These days, freedom of expression has become quite the sensitive matter. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3381 It's part of the "PHIB initiative".... Public Humiliation Is Brutal 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3382 The WSJ was right. The company's stock is in the toilet AND the lobby. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3383 He forgot his password once again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3384 This company offers a large variety of stock options. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3385 "But on the upside he says it's keeping his monthly fees under $3.00". 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3386 Our internships are quite rigorous. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3387 He should have been in bonds. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3388 Management left out the carrot and misread the stick. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3389 I told him to get out of stocks. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3390 That's because his time sheet was late again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3391 Oh, that's the firms new stock option for those who miss their quota. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3392 They say he watered the air fern. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3393 We're taking stock of our employees. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3394 They tell me, he's going to get the chop. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3395 When I asked how are stocks were doing, I as referring to the Dow. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3396 He wasn't politically correct. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3397 Looks like Johnson got Employee of the Month again! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3398 It's a piece of performance art called "I'm Into Stocks". 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3399 And I thought my purse was an encumbering accessory... 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3400 Interior design has gone hard core. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3401 The new CEO.... trying so hard to relate to the regular workers. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3402 I don't like his tie. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3403 Looks like Jerry is the first winner of Bad Employee of the Month 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3404 Dammit, Jeff. Not the copier, again! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3405 I don't love the stock options here." "I don't love the stock options here. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3406 He's a protester...Banker's Lives Matter. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3407 He steals office supplies. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3408 It's part of the city's new interviewing process for lawyers ... it's called public "defender" humiliation. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3409 It's a new job security thing, I think. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3410 He defied the ban on polka-dot ties. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3411 Looks like Bob forgot to mute his line... again... 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3412 The executives here are into stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3413 time in the stock is the penalty for stock fraud, don't even think of hanging bad paper 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3414 They sure are taking the, no pens, paperclips, and legal pads home policy seriously, these days. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3415 The boss hates to fire people. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3416 It's a new acquisition for the corporation's art collection. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3417 Poor guy, stuck at work again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3418 I think you'll like working here.... Oh, and don't ever forget when it's your turn to bring donuts in on Fridays. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3419 The artist gets very involved in every piece he creates. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3420 It's the new rules. He sold low and bought high. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3421 Really?! My farts are that bad? 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3422 Refused to hold the door for the boss. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3423 This doubles as a lobby 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3424 I warned him that necktie is too narrow. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3425 I guess HR is following through with its plan to get back to basics. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3426 Well, next time get a divorce! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3427 They're not cruel...they just have a zero tolerance on typos. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3428 I'll trade you my Ball & Chain. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3429 Oh, him? He's one of our company's board members. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3430 He 'liked' a competitor's Facebook post. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3431 I warned him that stealing food from the lunchroom fridge was risky business 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3432 Well, traders shouldn't ask for stock aids. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3433 Now that's a portfolio I don't want to invest in 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3434 It's one of our many stock options. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3435 Yeah--he used to be into bonds. But the market has been so strong . . . 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3436 Our stock options are merit based. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3437 We try to recommend stocks that meet our clients' needs. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3438 I bet he won't try selling stocks and bonds here again. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3439 And remember, it's really important that you read all the fine print in the contract! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3440 We're interviewing for CEO. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3441 That is where we keep extra management in stock. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3442 That's Jonesy, he's our stock market analyst 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3443 There's a stockade broker conference scheduled for today. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3444 Hell never ignore the 'no soliciting' sign again! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3445 Stocks are up. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3446 He stole the boss' lunch from the fridge! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3447 The trip to Tahiti for best sales wasn't working so we're trying a different approach. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3448 That's just Art being art! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3449 Chad burnt microwave popcorn one too many times! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3450 He wants the overtime pay. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3451 I don't like their late fee policy. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3452 I think he left before 5:00 one day. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3453 That there is our top seller; the DOJ just put in an order for a million! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3454 Satan's vestibule 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3455 Guessing this bank is too big to flail... 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3456 His continuous 'Reply To All' behavior could not go unchecked. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3457 This stock offer makes me want to buy bonds. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3458 Ignore him. He's just selling tickets to a production of THE CRUCIBLE his daughter is in. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3459 After lunch, remind to put my plastic container in the recycling. I'd like to paint later. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3460 Apparently, it's hilarious on You-Tube 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3461 Isn't it fun when old tradition looks like modern art? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3462 Yesterday he wore white pants and the boss is a strong believer in that post Labor Day thingee. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3463 The copy machine's acting up again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3464 Don't ever joke about our stock price. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3465 I didn't believe him when he said he felt pilloried at work. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3466 Just don't dress up on casual Fridays- he was here all weekend. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3467 Stan failed diversity training. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3468 It's part of the company's greater transparency policy. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3469 I don't think the standing lobby chair is going to catch on. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3470 Well, it beats being laid off. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3471 We caught him alternative faxing. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3472 Well, yes, I had heard that the Firm's stocks had risen. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3473 I wish they'd told us this was "bring your own rotten tomatoes" day 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3474 It looks like Spencer was tardy again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3475 Public shaming never gets old! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3476 Lawyers, trying to fill every loophole in a contract. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3477 Fox News's anti-sexual harassment program seems to be working out well. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3478 No big changes, really. The new corporate owners take a traditional approach to HR issues. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3479 Oh look, remember, we saw this on our trip to the ashram leaving Karachi. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3480 Our management really takes the customer service follow up surveys seriously. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3481 We don't know whether to feed him or put a frame around him. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3482 He used the microwave to re-heat fish. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3483 Amazing! This is what passes for art these days. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3484 Don't encourage him. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3485 They have trouble holding on to greeters. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3486 Nothing in particular—the boss just got fed up with entitled millenials. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3487 When you work on the Editorial Board of The New Yorker you should know better than to say anything positive about Trump. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3488 He told the H.R. manager she had a nice butt. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3489 Unnecessary "reply all." Sad case. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3490 He didn't vote. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3491 He was just voted the unemployee of the month. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3492 It's our version of everybody's 15 minutes of fame. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3493 It's performance art. Pretend like you're not disturbed. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3494 The stocks are up today 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3495 He's hoping for a raise. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3496 It's our new employee stock bonus program. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3497 It's the latest in complaint departments. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3498 Gave the boss the usual stock answers. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3499 He addressed one of the cashiers as Honey Bunch. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3500 They said they had an employee stock plan, but I was expecting something else. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3501 That's why I didn't ask for stock options 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3502 He told Trump there's noway we can build the border wall. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3503 Harold was selected to participate in the company's stocks option program. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3504 It costs less than a cubicle, and doesn't require nearly as much space! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3505 If you think the pillory is bad, you should see the ponald prump. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3506 He kept revealing spoilers--so we're throwing rotten tomatoes at him. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3507 I've always felt bonds were a safer investment. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3508 I heard he came to work late. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3509 Employee stock options. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3510 He Was Late To Our Last Meeting. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3511 When our newsletter said “stocks were up”, I didn’t take it literally. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3512 Earned less than $1,000,000 in bonuses last year 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3513 Bob's our Motivational Coach. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3514 That's a pillory, Hilary 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3515 It's the latest technique for dealing with white collar crimes. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3516 He's their Stocks and Bondage Representative. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3517 Insider stocks trader. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3518 That has to be the 'my bad' of the year. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3519 Sales targets were a bit short. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3520 This here is Jeff that will happen to you if you get 3 bad reports in a month. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3521 You have to read the fine print on the stock options. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3522 I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3523 He did say he was going to buy some stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3524 What did he do?" "He stole a stapler from accounting for the last time 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3525 He's a stocks trader. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3526 Yes, we sell those stocks and bonds. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3527 They put him in corporate "time out." 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3528 Employee Of The Month -- good going. Two months in a row -- o.k.. Three times -- no. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3529 He traded bonds for stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3530 His tie was too short. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3531 Is there an emoji for that? 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3532 They told him this was a new treatment for carpal tunnel syndrome, but I heard the boss wants his head. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3533 He got caught not enjoying his work. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3534 He tried to take a lunch break. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3535 I hear the new compliance guy is a real stickler. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3536 Hmm... he must have gone to the stock market before work. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3537 That's Ned. He's almost done with his Performance Improvement Plan. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3538 That's the new art piece they just purchased last week. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3539 Jim always said he wanted to get into stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3540 Hyping his new book, '50 Shades of Stocks and Bondage.' 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3541 This is our most popular model. It's a favorite with hipsters looking for a more retro style of public shaming. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3542 They take stocks very seriously at this brokerage. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3543 I guess stocks are still a good investment. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3544 It was probably the "Loyalty Question." 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3545 We may have an opening in stocks and bondage. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3546 I hope we don't have a long wait. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3547 I guess "employee of the month" is out of the questionn for him. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3548 We take turns just in case we may have offended someone. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3549 For us plebs, the elevator only goes to pillory floor, not the penthouse floor. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3550 He clicked on "reply all" one time too many. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3551 But, you, of course, will be working over here, in bonds. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3552 He led a failed hostile takeover bid. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3553 Well of course he deserves it. He was overheard muttering something that was politically incorrect. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3554 I hate coming to the DMV. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3555 You know, the latest studies show that if he were woman, he'd only be making 80% of what he makes now for standing in those stocks! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3556 That's how we adjust interns to corporate america. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3557 That's just a demo model. The one for Suzie would be smaller. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3558 He's in stocks. Bonds are this way 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3559 Must be a dress down Friday kinda’ thing. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3560 the new fashion police are in town, I see... 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3561 Its a Pillory for Hillary supporters, what else do you expect in a Trump building? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3562 He was offered stock options. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3563 It's the last one in stock. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3564 Oh, that...while you were away, our corporate Art Bank merged with HR. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3565 Executives here get stock options, but for employees they're mandatory. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3566 I tried to tell him to stick to bonds and stay out of stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3567 He wanted more focus on stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3568 Looks like Jenkins missed his sales quota for the month. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3569 Call me a snowflake, but I prefer employee of the month. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3570 The new CEO is into artisanal torture. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3571 He's really getting into stocks 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3572 He took someone else's yogurt from the fridge and ate it. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3573 Guess he didn't lean in. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3574 I chose this over the chain of command. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3575 Maybe we should look into bonds. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3576 Well I guess poor Tom won't be watching any more porn on company time. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3577 He forgot to refill the printer paper. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3578 'Trump promised sticks would go up" 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3579 That's the new Intern. He asked where the Break Room was. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3580 It's the HR Director's Game of Thrones version of "Time Out." 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3581 We're focused on capital here: monetary, letters, and punishment. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3582 Oh, that's Smith. He put a surströmming salad in the break room fridge. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3583 Very little movement in his stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3584 Well, they said stocks were going up. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3585 Its about time they cracked down on hobbyists. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3586 Looks like Johnson is trapped in the pillory again. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3587 Stocks ... You never know. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3588 Oh, him. He got caught with his hand in the Coffee Kitty. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3589 His stocks tanked and the boss likes puns. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3590 Free torture device when you enroll in direct deposit. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3591 He said wanted all the company's stocks. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3592 Networking is so over. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3593 It appeared right after we banned Twitter. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3594 Yes, follow me. Also that man is our CEO. He's been a bad boy!! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3595 Fantasy football during office hours 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3596 No jokes about stock options. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3597 I know Coal is back in fashion but public shaming too? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3598 He was warned not to demand stock options. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3599 Fifty shades of grey gone terribly wrong... or right? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3600 We have a great internship program for future CEOs. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3601 If you can't sell the stocks, you get the stocks. Get it? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3602 Serves him right.He laughed when Clemnza said, "LEAVE THE GUN;TAKE THE CANNOLI". 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3603 They're still working out the kinks in the 'stocks' bonus plan. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3604 He missed the deadline on his last project. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3605 Fingers crossed he goes with Workers' Comp. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3606 Before you start the job, there’s one more thing you need to know. The company strictly adheres to the Friday afternoon deadline of cleaning out old food from the employee refrigerator. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3607 He did not start a new pot of coffee when he took the last cup. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3608 I think I prefer the days when the Employee of the Month award was a gift certificate to Appleby's. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3609 That's a rotten way to get people to buy stocks in the company. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3610 I miss pink slips. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3611 Part of the corporate Wellness Program to shake caffeine. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3612 He left the seat UP on the toilet. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3613 I've changed my mind about your choice of marriage counselor. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3614 He snuck in a Galaxy Note 7. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3615 I warned him not to microwave his leftover fish, but he wouldn't listen 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3616 Teak, instead of pine, is good positioning for us. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3617 It looks like Bob didn't meet his sales target again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3618 He wanted to be fully-vested in stocks 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3619 Her family has a long New England history 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3620 He was disloyal and tweeted about it. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3621 He's the Wiccan of Wall Street 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3622 Last week it was bonds. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3623 His tie is to die for, so it must have been something he said. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3624 He was caught in the restroom without a gender ID. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3625 Looks like he bought the wrong stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3626 He put his money in the wrong stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3627 Stocks are going up! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3628 We lob tomatoes on Tuesdays. Don't wear white. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3629 He'll think twice before eating someone else's lunch. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3630 Frank lost The Game of Boardroom. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3631 I'm glad they went with the reclaimed cedar for the stocks this time - conveys good corporate citizenship. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3632 Worst stock picker of the month. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3633 We combine probation and team building here . You will find a shaving cream pie on your desk for later. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3634 Better than deportation. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3635 Have you met the new security guard? He identifies as a T-Rex. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3636 The new Sears stocks 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3637 The new boss thinks it deters workers from going on Facebook. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3638 He misunderstood investing in stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3639 He complained about the coffee in the break room. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3640 test 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3641 It's a millennial retention strategy. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3642 He crossed Trump. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3643 That's more embarrassing than a time out 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3644 He's training to be a stocks broker. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3645 Politically incorrect! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3646 I know we're cutting back, but that's a pretty lame replacement for the massage chair. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3647 He had an attitude 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3648 It's just a new stand up desk. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3649 Oh yea and remember not to mention the bosses weight problem. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3650 He showed up late today. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3651 Is that your firm's stock analyst? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3652 He is on the board, and he asked for the stocks - but they gave him the pillory instead. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3653 It's that new Dimmesdale Diet. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3654 Do you think at this point in his life, he should be 100% in stocks? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3655 Sorry, Gary, but you knew the company's policy when you hit "reply all." 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3656 What an awful tie 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3657 Just wait till lunch, we get to hurl tomatoes and insults at him. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3658 The "back to the old values" policy seems to have gone a step too far. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3659 Sorry John, but you shouldn't have eaten the last donut at the meeting. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3660 I think that standing desk suits him.... 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3661 I think it's a new overdraft system 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3662 Are you sure we should be heading back? 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3663 He was into stocks. I think we better get out of bonds. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3664 They specialize in stocks and bondage. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3665 This is what happens when you close the elevator on the boss. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3666 He's left over from torture Fridays. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3667 I thought he was going to get a new tie for the Shaming. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3668 I'm here for the board meeting 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3669 He's starting a wedge fund,something to do with stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3670 Dave from accounting was drawn and quartered last week. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3671 It's only a matter of time before Tom from accounting get the ax 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3672 He didn't use the new report cover. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3673 Our new CEO goes to a few too many motivational seminars, if you want my opinion. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3674 He was caught texting during work hours again. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3675 His expense reports were late again. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3676 He always gets the bagel and lox. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3677 He got caught on Facebook during work hours. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3678 It's a formal stock exchange. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3679 Bill puts the HR department stockade in the reception area if the boss schedules too many new lawyer interviews. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3680 This floor is all investments; stocks and bonds. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3681 My name is Mary Warren and I'm here to read for the part of 'Mary Warren.' 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3682 They thought he asked for stocks and bondage! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3683 Looks like his stock isn't moving today... 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3684 That's Houdini's kid - he's new in town 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3685 It's to ease his conscience when he says his hands are tied. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3686 Human Resources didn’t like his last Facebook post. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3687 It's a performance art project of our Customer Service Department. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3688 Bonds are down the hall. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3689 He never would agree with me. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3690 They say the new guy asked for a corner office. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3691 I heard he wouldn't dress casual on Fridays. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3692 Some advice? Don't exercise your stock option. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3693 I'd go for bonds instead of stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3694 He was installing Bathroom Video equipment! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3695 I see the new CEO has made manifest her latest edict: No more getting handsy in the elevator. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3696 I prefer private stocks. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3697 Public humiliation instead of being fired, it was his call. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3698 Didn't refill the copier with paper, hmm! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3699 It was either that or take minutes at the staff meeting. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3700 They view company stocks as incentives. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3701 He undertipped. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3702 It's kind of like employee of the week in reverse. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3703 It's a the latest most effective diet craze. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3704 It has lowered the error rate. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3705 Missed his WIG (Wildly Improbable Goals) twice in a row! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3706 Business and art can be in sync. This one is called First Quartered Results 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3707 He ignored a LinkedIn request. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3708 Personally, I think firing Bannon was enough. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3709 Our corporate value to "Care for the Person" is going a bit far. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3710 Ed's self-shaming again." "Yeah, he thinks its poetic justice, when his stocks do poorly. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3711 It's a prototype of the new dress code. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3712 He took a personal call, AGAIN. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3713 Honey, maybe we should invest money in stocks 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3714 Typical corporate stock answer. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3715 Microwaved his manicotti in the breakroom without a lid--again. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3716 Is Art Mr Deco's first name? 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3717 I dont' think that's what he meant when he tweeted 'increase your stock options'. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3718 His fault? At Obama Times he was the "Employer ot the month!" 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3719 How's the standing desk training coming? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3720 I don't think I like our new corporate punishment initiative! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3721 Geez, Lumburgh is getting serious about those TPS reports. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3722 I told you that this was a very old stocks and bonds establishment. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3723 I know we're not supposed to be late for work, but jeez. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3724 Real art is not so approachable by the average human. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3725 Wait until you see the guys who're into suspension. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3726 Forget this. Let's try bonds. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3727 Look at the bright side, at least they don't provide rotting veggies... 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3728 Ed sure knows how to pick stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3729 All he did was to flunk out of the TEAM making group! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3730 This is a new program by the Economic Crime Authority, which allows our CEO to have work-jail balance. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3731 Trump U graduate, signed up for stocks. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3732 He hired someone through LinkedIn. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3733 To promote wellness the company went to a standing stockade. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3734 The company does pride itself on stand-up stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3735 Welcome to Stocks & Bondage Tuesdays! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3736 He thought he was buying stocks and bonds. He didn't realize we only sell stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3737 We handle insider trading a bit differently here at Mikado Securities. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3738 "Never, never ask for a raise". 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3739 He made a remark that was politically incorrect. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3740 The White House finally plugged that leak... 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3741 If you think that's something, wait until you see our bonds department. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3742 These are not the stock options I was looking for! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3743 We don't have much of an insider trading problem anymore. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3744 Why, that's Jones in accounting. Where are the rotten tomatoes when we need them? 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3745 Bill has been transferred to stocks and bonds 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3746 ...and that's Art. No one talks to him because he's a square. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3747 Wells Fargo used to be such a great place to work. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3748 Caught sneaking home a few office supplies. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3749 Gotta feel bad for Wilson. He makes one rookie mistake on junk bonds, and they reassign him to stocks. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3750 He thought the company stock option was an employee investment strategy. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3751 Our corporate stocks. You should see our bonds. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3752 Joe, used the last drop of coffee and walked out of the breakroom. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3753 Apparently he didn't understand stocks and bonds. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3754 He's the latest to burn the popcorn in the microwave. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3755 He floated to the top too quickly. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
3756 Stocks are down today, I see! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3757 More cutbacks in H.R. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3758 His stocks aren't moving. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
3759 He requested a stock-in-trade. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
3760 Fish in microwave -while humming 'Livin' on a Prayer' 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3761 The stocks are down again. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3762 We also deal on the UK stock exchange. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3763 That's Tom. He was being mean to Beth. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3764 Lunch thief. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3765 I'm told they specialise in insider stocks trading. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3766 Oh he's being punished for insider trading 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3767 He's always been into stocks and bonds 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3768 The new corporate punishment policy must have taken effect. I warned Steve about replying all. Shame. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3769 Hank is heavily into stocks. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3770 Our Disciplinary Policies are a bit archaic. Jerry forgot to change the toner. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3771 I know what you're thinking, but he's got on a short sleeved shirt. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3772 See what happens when you steal the pens? 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3773 This is what you get when you engage in insider trading. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3774 He failed to meet his monthly quota. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3775 He was caught telling the truth. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3776 I said"stocks and bonds" not " bound in the stocks" . 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3777 It seems a bit barbaric, but I'll have to admit that it's more effective than the stanandard ticker. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3778 Yes, we do have a rather strict IT policy. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3779 I heard the interest rate makes it totally worth it. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
3780 Yes, he's employee of the month! 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3781 I warned to wait until he was 59 and-a-half. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3782 ...it's meant to discourage walking slowly while texting. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3783 I know how he feels. Everything I have is tied up in stocks. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3784 Next time he steals from the lunch room it'll be tar and post-its. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3785 Maybe we should just accept the high interest rate and monthly fees. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3786 This bank has a very personal touch with their customers who have overdrafts with their accounts. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3787 He asked for the weekend off. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3788 I only dated him because he said he was in stocks. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3789 He didn't put the new cover sheets on his TPS reports." "Did he not see the memo? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3790 The stock market must be doing better. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3791 I now know we came to the right place for stock photos. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3792 He was late for work three days in a row. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3793 Things didn't work out for Larry on Wall Street... still he was determined to get into stocks. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3794 I thought he meant we would be discussing our stocks. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3795 He refuses to flaunt his executive status. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3796 "Turns out he's a closet Luddite". 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3797 Well, that's what happens when you fail IT's phishing test 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3798 I heard he forgot the password 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3799 That's why I'm sticking with bonds. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3800 He's performing cutbacks. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3801 Is this what they mean by a "standing workstation"? 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3802 I thought he wasn't into stocks. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3803 Texting while occupying stall in men's bathroom. 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3804 He did mention that he wanted to get into stocks 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3805 Poor fellow - he chose the stock option. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3806 Apparently, Ned's been a naughty, naughty boy. 1.1000 0.05571 30 27 3 0
3807 Gallow from the other sidddddeee 1.1000 0.07350 30 28 1 1
3808 Be sure not to ask for the restroom. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
3809 I thought this was the Bonds Department. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
3810 It was the last standing desk we had. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
3811 Our research shows, the most advanced technology addiction therapy draws on techniques pioneered by the early Puritans. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
3812 We gave him stock options. He misunderstood. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
3813 That's Bob. He wore khakis on Jeans Day. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
3814 He got caught stealing someone's lunch in the break room. 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
3815 Clearly, the corporate *cult*ure here is very strong! 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
3816 Let's not go with the Marie Antoinette plan. 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
3817 He forgot his donut day 1.0968 0.07116 31 29 1 1
3818 Can you believe anyone would microwave fish at work? 1.0968 0.05398 31 28 3 0
3819 This new administration is really bringing back the spirit of the Early Republic 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
3820 Ted tried to convince me he was a stock broker. I said to him, "prove it!" 1.0938 0.06897 32 30 1 1
3821 Will you take my picture already? I'm getting tired of standing this way. 1.0938 0.06897 32 30 1 1
3822 That will teach him a lesson or two about insider trading. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
3823 He played a little game of 'grab-ass'and lost. 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
3824 He can really work within limits. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
3825 You call that torture? Try the Shark Tank. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
3826 I've heard Joe in accounting is sporting a red letter A. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
3827 "He refused to go paperless". 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
3828 There's a rumor that the new CEO leans conservative. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3829 If he doesn't work out in stocks, we'll try him in the bond department. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3830 Next week Barry Bonds will be here. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3831 I'm not into stocks, myself. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3832 Below the bottom rung of the Corporate Ladder. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3833 Clipping his fingernails. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3834 Maybe I should have put more money into stocks. I never thought they would make such a strong come back. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3835 It's Throwback Thursday; he wore a tie on Casual Friday. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3836 I told you stocks were going up. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3837 He watched 'Game of Thrones' at his desk again. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3838 He said he wanted to be in stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3839 The times they are a 'changing 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3840 It is the new punishment for stealing office supplies. He was caught with a ball point pen. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3841 The corporation is making an example of employees who surf the internet on company time. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3842 At least it's an improvement over the dunking. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3843 It' one of our companies employee benefits - Stockdale options. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3844 Someone must have leaked his memo about our diversity policy. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3845 Our employee stocks incentive plan has been a standout success. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3846 I knew Fred got out of bonds, but I didn't know he was into stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3847 Make sure you read the fine print on YOUR stock option. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3848 Stock Broker. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3849 On second thought, maybe bonds or gold would be better. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3850 He used the wrong bathroom. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3851 That's a shame. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3852 A leaker. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3853 That's why you stay on task here 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3854 That's Al from Marketing. His slogan didn't bring in the Millennials like he promised! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3855 I told him not to tweet. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3856 "That is now the penalty for early withdrawal". 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3857 He didn't meet his billing hours requirement again. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3858 Historically, that stock has performed well. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3859 I see corporate is serious about us being late. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3860 He told the boss that we should return to casual Fridays. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3861 Why yes, we do have a strict attendance policy, why do you ask? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3862 I guess I misinterpreted the Board's interest in stock aid... 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3863 Finally someone figured out what to do with millennials. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3864 It's called The Mooch. It's for employees who... never mind... 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3865 Just a week. It was only a positive comment about a Trump policy rather than the guy himself 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3866 corporate guillotine 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3867 Here at Puritan Insurance, we believe that shaming has a role to play. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3868 Being in the stocks is embarrassing, but you should see what you have to do if you screw up trading bonds. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3869 He was caught with Windows XP on his computer. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3870 Is it just me or is HR out of control? All he did was leave his coffee cup in the sink. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3871 Who's doing the marketing for employee of the week? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3872 "That's what happens when you're overleveraged in the stocks". 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3873 He thinks it's casual Friday. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3874 I heard he wore a suit on casual Friday. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3875 They caught him talking to a headhunter. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3876 Check out the Trump tie! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3877 He tried to outsource our production to China. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3878 Jim should have read the fine print before accepting the stock option. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3879 He voted for Pillory, not Hillary. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3880 Ah, the employee of the month. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3881 But why aren't we throwing cake? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3882 That's what happens when you get caught at work posting in public. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3883 He decided to exercise his stock options early. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3884 So much for stocks. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3885 He was pilloried for choosing the wrong stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3886 I hear this type of PIP is pretty effective. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3887 Good gracious, is that a genuine Nakashima pillory? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3888 At our company, employees with unpopular opinions are handled in ways that honor tradition. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3889 He told his family he's working in stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3890 I could never pull that look off. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3891 Since they killed Dodd-Frank, that's the worst punishment we can get. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3892 He talks the talk, but can't walk the walk! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3893 That'll teach him not to wear his tie below his belt! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3894 Is he in stocks or bonds? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3895 That's our Director of Compliance. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3896 He warmed up his fish sticks in the break room microwave. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3897 Looks like the ladies in engineering were able to contain your biological superiority, Alan. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3898 He's our stocks and bonds analyst. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3899 It's just temporary until we sublease space for a more comfortable waiting room. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3900 I'm guessing his annual review didn't go very well. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3901 Good stocks, bad stocks, it's different every day 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3902 He criticized Google again. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3903 He should've asked for clarification about his stock options. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3904 He complained about the low interest 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3905 Fortune Five Hundred Stocks 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3906 That one way to enforce a restraining order. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3907 He thought it would provide a higher yield than stocks. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3908 Ignore him. He's an English major, not a broker. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3909 the stocks weren't looking so well that day. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3910 That's "Stocks." You should see "Bonds." 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3911 I've narrowed it down to undocumented immigrant or NEA grant recipient. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3912 I see stocks are going up. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3913 'No one chooses to work in stocks' 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3914 I told him that tie would get him in trouble. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3915 When he said he was going into stocks, I thought he was becoming a broker! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3916 Looks like the product team saw Dave's bug report. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3917 Call me old fashioned, but I like what they've done with their pundits here. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3918 Dammit Dave, again?! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3919 A little old to be a stock boy, don't you think? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3920 I just need to feel like you're not always looking over my shoulder. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3921 It really pays to double-check your work in this company. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3922 Some days I regret not taking the stock option. Other days, meh. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3923 I did it last week and got two points off my home loan. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3924 It's a special exercise machine for your shoulders. You can get on the schedule to use it at the desk over there where the other lady is. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3925 He never had any trouble with bonds 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3926 HE GOT CAUGHT SMOKING IN THE BATHROOM! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3927 When the stocks are down, he gets the pillory. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3928 When we were dating I should have believed him when he said he was in stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3929 I don't put much stock in these neo-medieval art installations. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3930 He's on loan from HR. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3931 Yeah, when he took the job he thought it was in Stocks and Bonds. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3932 Our newest policy to enforce INSURANCE CO-PAYS ARE DUE AT TIME OF VISIT. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3933 Maybe I'll try Bonds, instead. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3934 Yikes, what a difference a month makes. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3935 Is that Jared Kushner's new post? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3936 His lawyer demanded a stock option in the contract. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3937 Time for bonds and bow ties, I see. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3938 That's not as embarrassing as his bonds. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3939 We're trying out a new stocks option. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3940 He tried to use a MAC. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3941 Failure in your work place will equals embarrassment. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3942 Boss said he'd go medieval on him; then came the paperclip zip gun incident... 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3943 That tie? I think I have to side with the judge on this one. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3944 Mort tried to use the ladies room again. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3945 Man-employee of the month sure isn't what it used it used to be. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3946 Suddenly, they were less interested in buying stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3947 The guy got caught with an old flip phone. He deserves it! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3948 Hi John. Nice tie! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3949 There is a no-hands-free policy at the office. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3950 I heard he asked for paid paternity leave. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3951 Looks like he got the job. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3952 Thats Lloyd from marketing; IT is cracking down on people who try to change their company password. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3953 Be wary of the company stocks option. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3954 The Boss's PowerPoint presentations are getting out of hand. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3955 He kept insisting that his boss give him a stock option plan. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3956 But you've got to admit--our revised "Employee of the Month" program goes hand-in-hand with helping us meet the new quotas. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3957 He got hypnotized and quit smoking immediately but is having the hardest time quitting sitting. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3958 You should wear your ties longer too. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3959 I told you the HR manual needed updating 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3960 I like that, is it a Trump? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3961 He was tired of being in bonds. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3962 So that's what they mean by whistleblower protection! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3963 I had always heard he was locked into stocks and bonds! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3964 Management thought he might be a black swan. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3965 He insists wearing his necktie exposed 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3966 I didn't wake up thirty minutes early just so he could enjoy my tuna fish sandwich. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3967 we asked him to find an alternative to stocks ! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3968 Thank God it's Friday. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3969 Retro is so now. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3970 I heard George complain about his new stock option 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3971 I heard his customer survey result was not satisfactory 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3972 "Weird, right? His hands just have one big finger and a thumb". 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3973 Is this how the new boss interprets modern conservatism? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3974 Looks like people are getting used our new culture of extreme personal accountability. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3975 It is the only way they can keep employees from shopping online during work hours 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3976 I guess Bob's idea didn' t fly 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3977 Is that what this brokerage meant when they touted getting into stocks? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3978 Don't let our advisor talk us into stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3979 Too bad. He wouldn't suck up. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3980 Not exactly what I had in mind when the company announced it was 'going public.' 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3981 It is the CEO's version of being in his Dog House. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3982 Here in the Valley, we're always trying to push the boundaries of the workplace. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3983 Gives new meaning to the term "Just hanging around" ! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3984 "Nice Tie". 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3985 A few years ago they would have just hung him. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3986 Never admit you're drinking pumpkin spice. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3987 He brought tuna into the lunch room. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3988 You would think they'd at least let him have casual Fridays. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3989 Hey! Stocks and bonds...It's what we do here. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3990 I seem to have entered Hyperspace! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3991 I don't get modern art. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3992 Just don't be late more than twice. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3993 It's part of the new stock incentive plan. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3994 A failed unicorn; stuff happens. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3995 Again and again I will suffer; again and again I will get back on my feet...therapists' plan wasn't working so we're trying this..back on my feet finally! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3996 Yea, I got his "out of office" reply. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3997 Where's Pence's office, again? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
3998 We told him, for the Mannequin Challenge you stand stock still. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
3999 A monopoly in a technology field gives one some latitude in dealing with the customer. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4000 It's our high efficiency stand-up work station. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4001 That's the new employees resting area. Good for the back and smartphone free. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4002 Living sculture from Pilgrim’s Progress. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4003 Stock options. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4004 He put all his money in bonds. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4005 That's the ex CEO. They pilloried him when the company's stocks fell. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4006 They just gave him the head office 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
4007 I can see that Fred finally decided to get into stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4008 Our precious metals department is testing subliminal messages that one should avoid stocks 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4009 They caught him retweeting The Scarlet Letter. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4010 That's Carl. He used to be in banking. Now he's in stocks and bonds. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4011 I guess the 360 degree review has a very litterally meeting here 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4012 OK, there's Stocks and Bonds. Now where is the loan officer? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4013 So, that's what they meant by stock options. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4014 They took him literally when he said he was into stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4015 Did you ever notice that you meet the same people on the way in as you do on the way out? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4016 He's probably on his way out. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4017 The new "stock option plan" is supposed to improve morale. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4018 Is this what they call the stock exchange, dear? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4019 Our stock options aren't as good as they used to be. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4020 He made an early withdrawal. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4021 This used to be the Village Green. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4022 Well, what did you think they do in the stock market? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4023 He didn't receive stock options. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4024 It was either stocks or bonds. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4025 He's not likely to park in my space again. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4026 I'm told he bought high and sold low! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4027 He was caught trying to sell confidential corporate information to a competitor. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
4028 'That's Mike from Corporate. He manages the stocks.' 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4029 In this market I thought we should buy bonds but this office looks as if its still in stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4030 He said he always wanted to be in stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4031 Bill was told to to keep his cube clean 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4032 Too much cowbell. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4033 The firm has a new dressing-down Friday policy. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4034 His mindfulness score showed resistance. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4035 No worry. He's our Employee of the Month. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4036 And our working from home policy is is very flexible. On your left you can see Larry; he is of proud French heritage. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4037 most likely, he's a whistle blower 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4038 ... and you'll find that our stock option package is second to none. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4039 He asked Human Resources about a retention plan. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4040 This is what happens if you try to enter without an appointment. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
4041 that? oh, that's one of our stock options 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4042 Looks like he forgot about the meeting. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4043 He gave up his job in accounting to become an escape artist. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4044 It's a fad. Tomorrow he'll be in bonds. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4045 I told him not to criticize the President. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4046 Wouldn't sign up for Bill Pay. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4047 Oh that reminds me, customer retention meeting at 3 o'clock. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4048 He's pining for a position on the Board. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4049 The bank is warning us about investing in stocks 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4050 We couldn't afford the actual mindfulness workshop. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4051 He tweet-dissed the boss's girlfriend. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4052 Until his non-compete expires 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4053 Chained to his desk wasn't good enough for his manager. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
4054 Hey, I advised him to accept his buy out. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4055 Stocks? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4056 I heard he stole a stapler. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
4057 And don't get caught leaving early on Fridays. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4058 My broker only allows me to put my money in stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4059 When you said, "You'll be starting 'in stocks'," I envisioned something very different. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4060 Starting at the bottom, our newest intern. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4061 Finally cracking down on sexual harassment here at Fox. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4062 When they said stocks are back, I thought they meant the market. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4063 It has a nice Feng Sui vibe. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4064 Slacker of the month. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4065 Oh, that's Vaughn from accounting. Our CEO is an artist who likes to create a new living installation every day using our staff. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
4066 We think of him as the stocks traitor. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4067 His name is Jefferson Davis. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4068 At least I wasn't hung in effigy. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4069 Hey! These EPA employees are getting pretty vocal about Climate Change... 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
4070 You'll find him there most Monday mornings. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4071 He microwaved fish in the office. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4072 Bonds are much less volatile. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4073 He has stock options 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4074 This cannot be what the new boss means by, "take stock of everyone." 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4075 I believe it's and Instagram thing. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4076 He's something of a stock character 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4077 I just don't get these new Silicon Valley amenities... 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4078 They're looking to re-image the greeter function. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4079 That's your stock department? 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4080 As I've said before, minimum billable hours are more important than watching Real Housewives. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4081 It's all we could do to stop the PR disasters. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4082 Our stocks and bonds department. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4083 Probably those smug snobs on thirty-eight are gonna make puns about the stocks. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4084 Old school punishment is lobby. effective, 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4085 it,s our new stock option. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4086 Welcome to Guillotine & Sons! 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4087 He only got four stars. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4088 Ted's working in stocks now 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4089 I chose profit-sharing. Jerry went with the stocks option. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4090 A puritanical faction in HR assumed power last week. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4091 He's lucky, management originally wanted to return to the guillotine. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4092 This piece of art is a bit too realistic for my taste. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4093 Good old Phil - I see he's back in stocks. 1.0769 0.07692 26 25 0 1
4094 He's in charge of the stock portfolio 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4095 They have a strict late arrival policy. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4096 It's better than being pilloried in the press. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4097 I heard he was into the stock market -- as an insider, it appears. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4098 He chose stocks over bonds. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4099 I guess he didn't get any stock options. 1.0769 0.05329 26 24 2 0
4100 This is why you need to diversify your portfolio. Need I explain further? 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4101 He used one too many vacation days 1.0741 0.07407 27 26 0 1
4102 That's what lobbying in the lobby gets you. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4103 You should see their bonds. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4104 Our company deals in stock and trade items 1.0741 0.07407 27 26 0 1
4105 There's a men here to see you. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4106 He asked for it. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4107 Phil's retail stocker experience helps us in corporate. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4108 Don't be scared, Robert, it's better than couples therapy. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4109 And Our stock market analyst Harold is available 24-7. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4110 He cancelled his appointment for a physical twice. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4111 I told him to buy some stock, but he's from the old school. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4112 Some of our staff are becoming increasingly dependent. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4113 Yes, he owns stock in the company, why do you ask? 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4114 My broker advised me to get out of stocks. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4115 You can nuke your rigatoni without a lid only so many times before that happens. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4116 I think I'll wait to get fully into stocks. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4117 I'll bet people have been making jokes about stock options all day. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4118 Maybe it's time to start investing in stocks. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4119 Serves him right for indiscriminatingly hitting 'reply all.' 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4120 Can you direct me to the waterboard room 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4121 It's the latest in standing desk technology. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4122 The bond market is down so he's staying in stocks. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4123 I got out of the stock market. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4124 Yesterday, he was caught leaking information. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4125 A public display of necking. Where's the etiquette? 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4126 Most of us are in stocks and bonds. Abernathy is just in stocks. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4127 They've really tightened up security. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4128 Another starving artist. Notice there's no tip jar? 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4129 Stock options. 1.0741 0.07407 27 26 0 1
4130 Obamacare! 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4131 At least stocks are up. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4132 He came five minutes late for work this morning. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4133 They really take their earnings forecasts seriously. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4134 Poor Floyd-- he got caught stealing pens again. 1.0741 0.07407 27 26 0 1
4135 Can you grab me a sandwich? Today I'm jam-packed. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4136 The employee stock options aren't that great here. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4137 HR is curating a bad performance art show for new employees. 1.0741 0.07407 27 26 0 1
4138 Stock options aren't what they used to be. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4139 That's Fred. Talk about a glutton for punishment. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4140 That's Carlton. He ignored the memo about TPS report cover sheets. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4141 Don't ever be late for the staff meeting. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4142 You'll want to pass on the stock options. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4143 I don't know. Something about a standup desk. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4144 I'm sticking with bonds. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4145 He's an intern in the stock room. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4146 He voted for Pillory but Trump won. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4147 He smiles when the stocks up. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4148 It's been downhill since we got rid of HR. 1.0741 0.05136 27 25 2 0
4149 You should have seen what he posted. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4150 The CEO read a new book that went the other direction from "Employee of the Month" parking spaces. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4151 Trump has inspired hellish bosses everywhere to go too far. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4152 Yep, stock market. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4153 We pride ourselves in building a workplace that's... transparent. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4154 He wanted a bisex washroom. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4155 He sent an email about the lack of diversity in the tech industry. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4156 Lock, stock and bond trader... 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4157 I heard it was a Hostile Takeover. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4158 He'll be released once he recites our mission statement. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4159 De-regulation fallout. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4160 Is this what corporate meant by a "pinned Tweet"? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4161 Though your question seems a little judge-y, allow me to explain-- this device tests office collar/cuff wear and tear. On a separate, non-related note... he ate my lunch. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4162 There used to be a basket of rotten fruit. but the housekeeping staff complained. 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4163 OK, I get it. But what "stock" are supposed to ''lock'' into? 1.0714 0.04956 28 26 2 0
4164 Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
4165 Is that what they meant by 'paycuts?' 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
4166 Latest board member. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
4167 He covets his assets. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
4168 It's probably why no one else ran for Chairman of the Board. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
4169 He's the CEO. He thinks he's a plant. 1.0690 0.04789 29 27 2 0
4170 It's a new cost-saving measure: Do it yourself security. 1.0690 0.06897 29 28 0 1
4171 To combat our elitist reputation, we're encouraging our employees to have bad posture. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
4172 He's waiting for his stocks to rise and free him from bankruptcy. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
4173 He needs to work on his negotiation skills 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
4174 We hold fast to our principals at Thomas & Rymer. His stocks smell like burnt popcorn. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
4175 Our incentive program has both perks and punishments. 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
4176 When I said we must stretch our means, I didn't mean our transportation means. 1.0588 0.05882 34 33 0 1
4177 ignore him, he's just the stock room guy. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4178 He voted against five daily breaks, ninety day paid maternity leave, one month vacation, and Millennials being a protected class. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4179 Management found out Jamie's actually a woman. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4180 He's our expert in stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4181 Umm honey, are you sure we are at the right place? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4182 One of his perks was laughing stock. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4183 That's what management does to Trump supporters. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4184 This company certainly has unique stock options! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4185 See you at lunch? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4186 As promised, the lobby is getting an eye catching face lift 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4187 Notice the small hands? Nuff said. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4188 It must have been the bad tie. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4189 The new owners are getting rid of casual Friday also. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4190 He's waiting to see his stock broker. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4191 Poor Bill, this is his third accounting mistake this quarter. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4192 This is our SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) for an employee missing a deadline. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4193 I guess he chose the stock option 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4194 Bill's new standing desk has worked wonders for his humility. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4195 The Stock group is feeling the pain this quarter, and the Bond team's been moved to the basement. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4196 He must have came out as a Trump supporter. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4197 He rolls that thing out for all the new hires 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4198 Not that kind of stock. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4199 All the ad said was "Lateral move, less complicated." 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4200 It's a performance piece honoring those who bravely fell in plea-bargains with the Feds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4201 That's what you get for not reading the fine print on your stock option agreement. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4202 The boss finally invested in stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4203 Testing While Driving! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4204 I guess the boss hated his idea. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4205 Ye olde sensitivity training. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4206 He did say he was selling his bonds and getting into stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4207 H.R. adopted a new performance review system from Guantanamo 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4208 He is just a salesman who refuses to leave. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4209 Who's that good looking Who's that good looking guy in the stockade ? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4210 He got caught trading bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4211 Big mistake. Didn't floss before his checkup. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4212 He didn't think outside the box. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4213 I didn't know the Stock Exchange was in this building. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4214 This is what happens when you shake the toner, Carl. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4215 He lost the Davidson account. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4216 It's too bad. He's a great shadow puppet artist. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4217 He was caught handling insider stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4218 This new non-invasive form of bariatric surgery seems to be catching on. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4219 it's the next great thing after standing desks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4220 I think Medieval Friday is getting a bit out of hand. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4221 Overstock sale! All items come 'as is'. No exchanges or returns. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4222 We caught him trying to raid the refrigerator. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4223 Have you considered using the blockchain? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4224 This bank has strict rules about bouncing checks 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4225 Maybe he missed his deadline. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4226 When the boss said, "any suggestions?" 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4227 Cutbacks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4228 Jeff's gimmicks are getting a little old. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4229 Yeah, polka dots. But its not a clip-on. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4230 He demanded a callback to his landline voicemail. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4231 Do you ever think the feds have gone a bit too far backwards with rolling back penalties? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4232 Training for a standing desk, Bob? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4233 He's serving 30 years. Fixed. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4234 It's Employee of the Month, Trump style. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4235 The CEO wants us to focus more on Stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4236 He was caught in a hotel room with his wife. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4237 Him? He's captive to his ideals. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4238 Wouldn't you say that is a fitting punishment for Dr Pillory? He was caught overprescribing pain-killer pills. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4239 A mistake in bonds is even more humiliating than in stocks! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4240 Next time I bet he remembers his ID badge. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4241 Finally! Those Wall Street delinquents are getting put in the stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4242 It's part of the new policy about accidentally leaving with company pens in your pocket. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4243 Looks like Dave received his NEA grant. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4244 Lock, stock and barrel he's all in now! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4245 He fell asleep during the president's speech at an executive training program meeting! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4246 That tie looks like it came from the Stone Age. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4247 Don't ever bully the receptionist. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4248 He is renowned for his performance art 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4249 Ergonomically though, it's not unhealthy. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4250 I could have designed a better desk with one eye closed 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4251 Bad check? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4252 Some employees choose the stock option. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4253 His company has decided to go public. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4254 He was responsible for data security. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4255 He was caught buying something on Amazon during the CEO's staff meeting. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4256 Looks like Golden Boy burned the microwave popcorn. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4257 I guess he's in there for Second Degree Break Room Fridge Larceny. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4258 I see the unpaid intern is back in stock. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4259 He kept clicking Reply All. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4260 Apparently he was not enthusiastic enough about being in the President's Cabinet 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4261 He's with the face-painting convention. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4262 Some people like it better then the ATM 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4263 He used all caps in a memo. We call this the Caps Lockade. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4264 Joe's trying a new dating app. E-humiliation.com. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4265 So much for his Maximum Wage campaign for CEOS... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4266 He must've missed hitting his numbers again. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4267 It was the only way to stop his tweeting habit. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4268 I bet this will be the last time Bob asks for more visibility. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4269 They're serious about meeting timelines. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4270 ...and that's when the company's stocks went up. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4271 That's the stock options manager. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4272 He couldn't pay the overdraft fees 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4273 I started as an intern also. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4274 Ten-year man..... he asked for a raise. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4275 He needs to call H.R. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4276 He's our stocks and bondage man. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4277 That's the punishment for taking someone else's food from the fridge. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4278 Oh, that’s our CEO’s wrinkle on the employee stock option. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4279 I heard he was short stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4280 It's about time this company offered a stocks option. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4281 He demanded "stock" options !! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4282 He should know by now, that just because the CEO tweets, it isn't a good idea for the rest of us... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4283 He's looking for advice on how to manage his stocks 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4284 He denies global warming. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4285 New penalty for shorting stock options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4286 I'll bet he's late to the meeting again. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4287 Toughest overdraft policy in town 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4288 Stocks are up this quarter. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4289 That's our biggest stockholder. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4290 Apparently they don't use PowerPoint here? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4291 Think of it as a cost-cutting incentives program. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4292 And the benefits package is second to none – full medical, 401k, stockade options . . . 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4293 It's part of our new customer loyalty program. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4294 Poor Guy, I heard his sales numbers were way down in August. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4295 Poor Charlie, third bathroom key offense 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4296 Company Leaker! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4297 Oh yeah, whatever you do, don't piss off the boss. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4298 I told him there was less risk in bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4299 I heard he asked for the Friday before Labor Day off 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4300 George has always been heavily weighted in stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4301 And after one year you'll be eligible to participate in our stockade option plan. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4302 The coffee wasn't strong enough. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4303 The company is on the blockchain now. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4304 He forgot it was his turn to bring the donuts. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4305 I guess they finally caught the guy who has been stealing everyone's lunch from the fridge. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4306 I guess he works in stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4307 Do you suppose he's in outplacement? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4308 Oh, I didn't realize Jerry was on the board. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4309 Oh, Ernie's a DACA child. He's prepping for deportation to his homeland. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4310 I see that stocks really went up today. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4311 That's what happens when you group reply before... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4312 Pledging is just a much better predictor of loyalty than interviews are. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4313 That's Roger. He's in charge of stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4314 Oops -- Another poor sap who asked the boss for a promotion. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4315 The new employee retention plan seems to be working. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4316 He asked for aid with his stock and this is their idea of stockade. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4317 I voted to just fire him. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4318 that's how we remind people to turn in work on time. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4319 We needed something after ending the Employee of the Month program 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4320 It looks like we need to stop selling stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4321 It's his own fault. He signed up for stocks & bonds." 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4322 He wouldn't fit in any categories in HR's office aptitude test. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4323 At least their stocks are up. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4324 Is it a broker in the stocks or is it art? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4325 Why is he there! Are you kidding me? You don't see that tie he's wearing? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4326 Stocks and bondage. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4327 He is protesting against wearing a tie on "Casual Friday". 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4328 He got caught with a bean bag in his office. Millenials. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4329 Mortgage bonds don't look so bad anymore 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4330 Disciplinary action? Maybe. I kinda thought it was performance art. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4331 His stock plummeted. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4332 He's a part of our newest division here at Goldman-Sachs: Stocks and Bondage. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4333 Talk about bad stock options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4334 He never picks the right tie. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4335 Donald Trump is a jackass. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4336 He didn't follow the doctor's orders. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4337 Senior Brown crept out the building with Jones locked up Again!. Those plant pots would make jolly good toilets thought Jones as his trouser began to dampen. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4338 Hmm...seems like he's the desktop specialist over here. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4339 Oh that- today is take a Puritan to work day. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4340 It's Non Performance art. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4341 They have their possibilities, but I'm not getting the financial upside of stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4342 Gary imitates art. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4343 They have certain rules at this office for standing in line. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4344 It's the company's new stocks option plan 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4345 It's just a sign. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4346 Oh him? Jim lost a bet with our bond guys on relative downside risk versus stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4347 Apparently Steve went to the Renaissance Festival and thought this would be great for here! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4348 that stock never pays dividends. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4349 The rotten tomatoes won't be ready until tomorrow. Hope he's still here. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4350 He's vested. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4351 His contract is up at the end of the month. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4352 Do we have a drop dead date? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4353 I guess he won't be joining us for happy hour at the saloon. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4354 Glad I'm in accounting. I'm not cut out for stocks and bondage. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4355 The Cajun Zoning Commission caught him trying to develop on a flood plain. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4356 So Helen, what do you think about the comany's new concept for a Billboard 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4357 Must be a bad day on the stock market 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4358 It's chastising Tuesday 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4359 Looks like Jack forgot to label his food in the office fridge again. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4360 they mentioned stock options, but... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4361 John prefers stocks to bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4362 I didn't know we'd gone public with our stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4363 Phil shouldn't have put all he had into stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4364 His hedge fund missed its goal a second time. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4365 They're great for your posture. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4366 He was too heavily invested in stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4367 Another employee stock option plan gone bad. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4368 I told Ted, that they are watching time cards now. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4369 He should have tucked the tie in. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4370 Never forget your expense reports. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4371 If you ask me, the punishment should be even more severe for microwaving fish in the lunchroom. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4372 Boss didn't like his tie. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4373 He had opted for the lesser of three evils 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4374 That's Ted, our stocks and bondage guy. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4375 I told him to quit texting during meetings! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4376 It's getting harder and harder to land a job these days. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4377 New head of Stocks and Bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4378 Congratulations, Fred. You've got more than just your foot in the door. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4379 I prefer bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4380 I've always said that Parkinson from accounts should be put in irons. The stocks are a bit disappointing. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4381 He's our stock picker. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4382 Poor guy, he wanted bonds on the 17th floor and go off here by mistake. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4383 He must be working with a headhunter. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4384 That's what I mean right there. The next time you cross me. I mean the very next time... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4385 Ted was just named 'last runner-up' for "Employee of the Month. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4386 A bit harsh for advocating the return of the three martini lunch, don't you think? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4387 Polka-dot tie with woodgrain...bad form. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4388 I told him to invest in bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4389 Glad I got to choose my stock options before the new VP of Compensation came on board... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4390 He didn't make his quota last month. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4391 He's our new stock advisor. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4392 I guess that explains the sign on the door that says "Stocks and Bonds". 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4393 Our Inventory Manager is overstocked. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4394 ..and every other lunch break he detoxes and exfoliates 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4395 He lied to his dentist here about flossing every day. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4396 We burn him at twelve. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4397 Do NOT negotiate for stock options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4398 He really, REALLY wants to understand stocks and bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4399 Missed the memo on putting leftover fish in the microwave fish, eh? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4400 He refused to watch 'Game of Thrones.' 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4401 Morning Mike! You forget to refill the Keurig again? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4402 Fred is such an attention hog! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4403 He's our stocks-in-trade. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4404 Looks like the new Chief of Staff! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4405 It's his own fault. I told Sedgewick to go into bonds, not stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4406 I guess they finally decided to take their stock public. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4407 He was caught tweeting in meetings. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4408 Our new installation art exhibit. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4409 Our employee stocks have no options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4410 You should see what they did to Willoughby for eating someone else's lunch. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4411 He is the designated whipping boy this week! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4412 The "stocks" option at this company just isn't what it used to be. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4413 Guess he's not Employee of the Month. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4414 Student loan forgiveness can be rough. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4415 John didn't read the fine print when he exercised his 'Stock Options'... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4416 He got three more days for stealing WiFi. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4417 The stress of bond trading got to be too much, so he decided to try something more secure. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4418 There must be a better way to tell him he didn't make the partner cut. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4419 I'll bet a million dollars that he'll make quota next month. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4420 I think he's all tied up. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4421 Looks like management is starting to crack down on employees coming to work late. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4422 Didn't wash hands. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4423 Wow! i guess "the Donald" really is ticked off at his son. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4424 So, that's what they meant by stock options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4425 Oh, that's the penalty for early withdrawal of your CD 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4426 He is in training to learn how to stand at his desk instead of sitting at his desk. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4427 It's always about the billables, isn't it? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4428 Morning, Vern. How'd the compliance review turn out? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4429 He's the brand new guy. When he said he was in stocks, I thought "so's everybody on this floor.'" 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4430 The board did promise our stocks would go up... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4431 That is, indeed, a severe penalty for early withdrawal. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4432 Well, he hit the "send" button. And those ideas were awfully close to the bone. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4433 He sold Apple at 20. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4434 At his age, wouldn't bonds be better than stocks? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4435 He got caught. Disgusting. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4436 It's the new stock option plan 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4437 . . . and his tie was a half inch too long. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4438 Management is trying to retain talent by putting high performers on display. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4439 Looks like HR was serious about not making fish in the microwave. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4440 Their stocks are not just on paper here. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4441 I told him to consider stocks, bonds, and context. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4442 Glad I'm in the Bonds Investing. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4443 It's bring your cuckold to work day. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4444 All employees receive stock options as part if our incentives program. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4445 He's next in line. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4446 "Phil was caught selling Stocks & Bonds Specials to to our Customers". John Curliano, Alameda CA 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4447 They sure have an unorthodox way of reprimanding their employees. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4448 He just came back from the meeting with our investors. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4449 Its about time they cracked down on hobbyists. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4450 His broker put him into stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4451 Thats the new guy, George. He called in sick two Mondays in a row. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4452 Mel handles stocks and bondage. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4453 Who needs a pillory nowadays when we have Twitter? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4454 Missed his sales goals three weeks running! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4455 I Think his check bounced 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4456 No, he is a statistician. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4457 It's the new workplace approach to helping staff deal with the loss of their sheep dogs 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4458 Obviously he's not doing well with his stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4459 And that's our stock option. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4460 Looks like he took the boss’ PB&J again… 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4461 It's a common mistake people make. No, we don't sell equities 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4462 WhiteHouse press release; "pillory" approved for leakers! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4463 He's the Banks' new Chief Executive Hacker. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4464 Roger isn't into bonds, only stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4465 They've reverted to stockade decor. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4466 I see the company's new motivational coach has been hard at work.... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4467 Looks like someone exercised their stock options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4468 He's our employee of the week. Record stock sales. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4469 They still haven't hired Bob's replacement. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4470 It's now a requirement when applying applying for a Line of Credit 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4471 I guess the stocks picks were down. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4472 He's our best stock broker. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4473 They always have the most unique decorations here! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4474 He's this month's Scarlett A**hole. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4475 It's just corporate cultural assimilation of the pillory. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4476 It's to teach millennials old school values 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4477 Jenkins memoed his bright idea direct to the CEO. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4478 Beware the stock answer. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4479 They take this stock in trade thing a bit literally around here 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4480 Uh oh. Looks like they're doing layoffs again. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4481 He won't be stealing anymore lunches. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4482 You don't just walk down the hall and say to the passing CEO, "Hi Jim". 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4483 For our portfolio management discipline, we take a balanced approach between stocks and bondage. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4484 Title IX for the office. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4485 I heard they had to let Jack go. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4486 He missed the stock close by seconds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4487 Oh, him? He's the chairman of the board. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4488 He should have declined the company stock. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4489 He wrote a manifesto. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4490 I totally misread the Boss's tweet about putting employees into stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4491 George's suggested stock options were a bust...ergo...his punishment. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4492 No, Barry, it wasn't even technically true when you said you were 'in stocks'; technically, it's a pillory. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4493 Looks like they finally got medieval on his asset management strategy. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4494 Looks like the company stock does have some value. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4495 I hope their health plan is better than their stock options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4496 We don't fire people anymore. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4497 We take our Yelp reviews really seriously. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4498 It's the new stocks and bonds incentive program. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4499 People aren't making as many copies nowadays so we developed a new service called Kinkosshaming. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4500 They're pretty old-school here when it comes to stockholder relationships. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4501 Have you noticed this liberates me from my cell phone dependence? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4502 It's the latest thing in stock art. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4503 The boss told Josh to invest in stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4504 Failed to fulfill his self-appointed WIG (Wildly Imaginative Goals) for the second quarter. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4505 He refused a trial with Judge Gotcha. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4506 His wife chooses his tie. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4507 He wasn't here long enough for severance. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4508 his presentation didn't go well 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4509 He erased a whiteboard that had 'Don't Erase' on it. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4510 yorker235er235orker235 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4511 He said, "Women aren't interested in..." and before he could finish his sentence--well, you know. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4512 He suggested we hire lawyers. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4513 That's not what I thought they meant by "stock options"... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4514 Yes, the tie absolutely should go inside after Labor Day. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4515 Dang! I left my tomatoes home again today. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4516 A very severe penalty for early withdrawal. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4517 Oh look, Bob. It's the new Intern. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4518 Glad I read the sticky note on Linda's leftover lasagna... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4519 He did tell us that he was going into stocks after graduation. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4520 Stock fraud. It's an eye for an eye thing. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4521 I imagine this is the last time Frank will ask about the telework policy. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4522 Love the retro look, Dave. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4523 The dungeon was booked. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4524 He was sending tweets at 3 am. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4525 I don't want to know what the bonds look like here. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4526 "That'll teach him to hit 'reply all' ". 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4527 It's our new stock program. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4528 I warned him the boss hates triple spacing. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4529 He transferred from bonds to stocks 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4530 I guess it was Tom who stole the sandwich from the break room fridge. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4531 Welcome aboard and try not to be like Chad. I specifically said almond milk. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4532 He wore that fake Donald J. Trump tie again 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4533 Ever since the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau eliminated the big fees, the bank has been trying to find a new way to discourage overdrafts. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4534 He thinks he'll be getting that Presidential pardon any minute now, but I don't have the heart to tell him corporate punishments aren't eligible. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4535 Must be he's late on his mortgage. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4536 He misunderstood when management asked if he wanted to get into the company stocks 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4537 He told his broker he wanted to get into more traditional stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4538 Don't worry: next week we'll be moving him over from the stocks to bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4539 He bet heavily on stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4540 When was the last meaningful 8th amendment challenge case? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4541 Our new CEO is a Puritan. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4542 He's normally very hands on. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4543 Bonds will always outperform. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4544 You really have to be careful about what you stick your neck out for around here. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4545 We have a strict no Facebook-at-work policy. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4546 He drank the last of the lemon water. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4547 Trump found out that he did not vote for him after all 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4548 Well, he was warned not to steal any more paper clips. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4549 You know, that's what happens when you go against the grain... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4550 How gauche, putting stock artwork in the lobby. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4551 It's a bit harsh, but people are rarely late for work anymore. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4552 The employee handbook says "tow the line, or else.. " 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4553 He must have been voted Worst Employee of the Month. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4554 Poor guy. Went to a bookstore. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4555 He's in stocks and commodities. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4556 Texting during a meeting. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4557 He was caught fat-shaming. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4558 He was given a choice - stocks or bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4559 That reminds me. Stocks are going up again. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4560 My favorite is Trebuchet Thursdays. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4561 Used to be Trump's press secretary. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4562 We recognize our employees 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4563 Wait until you see the bond department... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4564 There's a zero tolerance policy on pilfering office supplies. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4565 I guess he really is a stocks trader 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4566 That pillory tie is a bit showy. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4567 They call it the equities department, but it's really just stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4568 He's a stand-in for Hester. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4569 It's the wisdom of the crowd 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4570 I wonder if it was harassment or a dress code violation. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4571 Looks like Morty has found a new position. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4572 Take a left at the next corner. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4573 Poor guy. The angle isn't quite right; what do you think ? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4574 Apparently not an 'elite' member. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4575 It's crooked Pillory. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4576 Did they have to take a page from the Romans' playbook! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4577 This is John. He selected last week's caption finalists. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4578 He got his sentence converted to lunch hours. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4579 We recently switched to standing desks 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4580 He's taking an enforced furlough. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4581 Think it's time to get into bonds? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4582 He dreamt he saw Joe Hill last night and HR found out. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4583 He brought bran muffins to the status meeting. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4584 He didn't turn in his timesheet last week. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4585 I heard he stole pens from the supply closet. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4586 Missed the July bump. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4587 Why not? It beats judicial re-training. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4588 a lot of guys start off in stocks 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4589 Yeah I told you- ever since our team bonding retreat to medieval times, he's just been really into guillotines. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4590 The fashion police got him for that awful tie . 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4591 Jim's investments cost this company a bundle last month. He had his choice of punishments. He obviously chose the stocks option. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4592 Too much tweeting. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4593 He's been buying unconventional stocks lately. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4594 He has decided to stay in stocks until all is right with the bond market. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4595 That's Bill. He replied all. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4596 Looks like another shake-up in HR. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4597 He was having an affair with the adulteress from accounting.. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4598 blah test 123 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4599 And that's what happens when you microwave fish at the office. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4600 He shut his phone off after working hours. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4601 He claims the instructions were in Swedish. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4602 My, my! From the corridors of power to the hall of infamy in a single, "Thump!" 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4603 Wall Street's new stock exchange student program is too literal for my taste. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4604 He must have shorted the wrong stock. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4605 I don't know. The decorations in this condo building are drab. Just look at that ugly tie! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4606 The first two times he replied all we understood, the third time, though... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4607 Back to basics. I like it. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4608 Wow! And to think about this was for only an expense report error. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4609 That's what happens when you ask stupid questions. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4610 I can't use my Yankee tickets tonight, you want them? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4611 Another innovation from the HR team. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4612 I'm afraid trading stock is a little over his head. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4613 They've been looking for an alternative to "You're fired." 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4614 We streamlined HR to be cozier and approachable. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4615 This is what they meant by stock options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4616 The stocks for insider trading? I don't know, feels a bit on the nose. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4617 That's the tie you go with for pillory day? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4618 "It's part of their 'Locked In Interest Program Promotion.' " Every eeek they change the customer. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4619 I told you that someday he will be hanging on the wall of fame. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4620 And they say there's no finishing line. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4621 This company's stock plan has really gone downhill 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4622 Our VP of Marketing is a big fan of the 14th Century. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4623 That's the fag who can't get the pronouns straight around here. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4624 It's artisanal shaming. Distressed wood, antique hardware, heirloom tomatoes. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4625 It keeps him from biting his nails. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4626 Wrong tie. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4627 He got demoted to stocks and bondage. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4628 Parked the Bernice's Employee of the Month space. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4629 Apparently Williams didn't consider the consequences before telling the boos exactly what he thought of him. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4630 I think we should tell our broker that we want to buy bonds. We definitely don't want to get locked into stocks! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4631 He is our incentive to clean out the staff fridge. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4632 Our CEO is into performance art 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4633 He's a Wall Street Journal feature in tomorrow's Stocks Page! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4634 Mom trusted him with the estate. Ha. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4635 Standing desks are available upon request. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4636 He must be a stock broker. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4637 new corporate discipline policy 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4638 Besides yoga and pilates, you can sign up for corporal punishment. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4639 he didn't smile when he was fired 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4640 I guess the bonds desk is down the hall... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4641 He's really rocking that tie. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4642 Yeah...it's a new type of desk. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4643 HR said there would be stock options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4644 He says he needs the barrel. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4645 He didn't do his timesheets again. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4646 It's office politics. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4647 Bob crashed the system this morning. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4648 Have you met our new CEO? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4649 I told him that he should be in bonds in this market. But would he listen? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4650 He's actually our security guard in disguise. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4651 All that just for not holding the elevator? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4652 I guess it was Smithers who got the corner office. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4653 Standard shaming practice we apply to conservatives in this town. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4654 Yeah, he was caught in the executive bathroom. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4655 Excuse me, is this the way to the Stock Exchange? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4656 He parked in the president's spot. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4657 Don't look at him- he cooks fish in the office microwave and worse, he uses speakerphone. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4658 The new standing stocks are so much healthier than using the sitting stocks all day. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4659 ....heard Uber is still talking to him about the CEO thing. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4660 It's our new get acquainted initiative. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4661 He picked the wrong stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4662 He made a late sale. Kinda feel bad for him. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4663 Oh yes - be sure to read page 28 of the Company Policies book very carefully. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4664 Stocks, stocks, stocks. I told him he should diversify into bondage also. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4665 Kevin is such a company man. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4666 He invested everything in the wrong stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4667 I heard he tweets too much on the job 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4668 I thought he said something about updating his stock portfolio. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4669 The bonds department is one floor up. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4670 If you're caught, the government now offers a stock option. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4671 _"Someone really should straighten Mr Ryan's tie for him." 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4672 Nice, tie, stock boy! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4673 Stocks are passé - I prefer bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4674 Management said to display him in the Town Public Square would be politically incorrect. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4675 Those Stein supporters can be so allegorical. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4676 Showoff Pilgrim reenactor. Built it himself. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4677 It's the only way to get ahead in this company. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4678 It's our new waiting room 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4679 And this is the boss' other ex-husband. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4680 No wonder Bill is always our leading stock analyst. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4681 We borrowed this exhibit from the MOMA 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4682 I thought by performance art they meant a marching band. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4683 That's Ted from our Stocks & Bondage Department. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4684 He always used to feel like he was hanging by a thread while working here...if only... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4685 The company's new Reply-All protocol is quite effective. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4686 He kept saying he wanted to move everything he had into stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4687 Apparently he took the stock option. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4688 Our stock boy is dieting again. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4689 This happens when a colleague won't refrain from nonstop political talk. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4690 It's the ad department's latest idea for that tie we make which isn't selling. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4691 Look who's this month's ex-employee of the month. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4692 The artist calls it Vegan who eats office plants. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4693 He's the manager in charge of savings accounts. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4694 he asked that his interest rate be locked in. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4695 He's caught in Westworld.... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4696 He sure bought those stocks at a bad time. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4697 No bonds. This is not the dark ages. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4698 He forgot to bring in his apple yesterday. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4699 Perhaps we should remove this Confederate Monument... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4700 I see Fred decided to take stock of the situation. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4701 The outside auditors have a very strict policy against wiggle room. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4702 That's the last time he'll miss his targets 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4703 I think he's taking the new employee retention program a bit too far. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4704 The lesson here is to double check who you are sending the e-mail to before you hit send. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4705 They say sitting too long at your desk can kill you. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4706 Oh, and don't take people's food from the fridge. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4707 Oh, great, rotten tomatoes in the cafeteria again today 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4708 George forgot to bring the doughnuts and coffee again for the morning meeting. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4709 I guess he's not much of a pilgrim 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4710 And you say there's no pressure on bureaucrats... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4711 The new CEO announced he was going to make the company great again--beginning with stock dividends. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4712 I see your stocks. Where are your bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4713 Performance Art. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4714 He's the new face of the company. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4715 Wow, this company really did go public. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4716 Nothing motivates the sales team like public shaming. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4717 It's the "Employee of the Month Award" for masochists. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4718 That the guy busted for eating someone else's food from the fridge or the one who didn't return the bathroom key to the front desk? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4719 I don't agree, but there should be consequences to voting for the opposition party. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4720 Looks like we're moving out of bonds into stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4721 I think they took the word 'disrupt' literally. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4722 Over here is Frank, he was caught stealing from the fridge on Tuesday. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4723 1-It's about time 2-Let's tickle his nose 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4724 I don't know Jim, this new corporate wellness program seems a little repressive to me. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4725 They've extended his probationary period. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4726 It's just a PR gimmick! Wells Fargo employees taking turns receiving punishment, to cover up corporate mischief. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4727 The CEO did say the stock would be going up. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4728 I told him that last cartoon entry would rub management the wrong way... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4729 He was caught doodling in the margins. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4730 He should have just paid the "extra fees". 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4731 That's what happens when you get too invested in stocks 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4732 That's just Willard from Accounting - third time this month. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4733 He forgot his briefcase. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4734 Those second chakra types are so disruptive. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4735 I think Bill will really benefit from this year's wellness retreat. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4736 He must have got caught killing time, surfing online again... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4737 Damn stock brokers are everywhere 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4738 Millennials get the standing desks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4739 He lost his money in stocks! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4740 I guess they don't validate here 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4741 He just got a bit too unhinged, is all. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4742 He was busted for selling stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4743 He used to be in bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4744 He sent an email in all caps. Then he claimed it was accidental. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4745 What's with the Walmart greeter? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4746 That's what I call progressive. They used to use a guillotine. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4747 He failed the phishing test. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4748 He came in because he was tired of always being placed on hold 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4749 He's being weaned from technology overload. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4750 After all, what are bonds without stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4751 Investments intern asked for a rotation in stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4752 He must want this job really bad. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4753 He was told he'd get The Pillory if he wore that tie again. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4754 It was that article criticizing Google... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4755 I’m guessing it either has something to do with flextime or buying company stock. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4756 Ugh... That's Jerry from Match. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4757 Great guy - holds a position in many top companies 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4758 Unfortunately, he's not a very good stock picker. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4759 That's the stocks trader. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4760 I'm actually glad HR brought back public shaming 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4761 I heard he left the office at 5:00 every day last week. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4762 When I told him to lock up the stock, I didn't think he would take me literally! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4763 Every day we have to put a millennial in a timeout. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4764 See what I mean, you don't want to be late for work here. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4765 Well, he told me to sell his bonds and get him into stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4766 Wow. They weren't kidding when they said, "Penalty for earlier withdrawals!" 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4767 Pillory for Hillary 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4768 This company's sexual harassment policy is downright Puritanical. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4769 They're very strict on lunch break times here. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4770 Oh, that's Edward. He is a work of art! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4771 That's what he gets for watching porn on his work computer. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4772 He should have stuck with bonds. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4773 You don't want to steal paper clips from R&KK. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4774 He flaunted his white male privilege one too many times... 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4775 It's what happens when you press Send too soon 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4776 I know, but just think if he'd made that same mistake in the White House. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4777 By the end of this year, we hope to transition all our employees to these new standing desks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4778 Breathing new life into something old. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4779 When it comes to shaming, the boss is really old school. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4780 Disciplinary actions for touchie-feelie are explained in the company hand book. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4781 Stocks are hot again, I see. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4782 Mr. Bond is tied up in a meeting, so let's ask Mr. Stock. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4783 Anyone who leaves dirty dishes in the break room sink that many times deserves what they get. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4784 I understand he saved up enough by stealing his lunches from the break room refrigerator to to buy a new Lexus. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4785 It looks like stocks are standing up in heavy activity. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4786 That's what happens to a bureaucrat who wants to be efficient. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4787 Look, they pilloried Clinton. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4788 It's the newest 'Stand At Work' design. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4789 I would not want to be in that stockholders position./ 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4790 Banks used to offer a reward for a minimum account balance. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4791 I like the Lost and Found service. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4792 Its a wandering Jew. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4793 NYSE Department of Corrections "Looks like the stocks are up again." "Someone isn't doing their job." 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4794 Well, at least he's not facing a firing squad." 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4795 Now that is committing to a debt 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4796 Customer Subscriptions is another ten flights of stairs up to your right. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4797 He sure picked the wrong day to ask the boss about stock options. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4798 I ate the boss's sandwich 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4799 Guess he didn't keep up with his student loans. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4800 That's Frank, our vice president in charge of stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4801 "Fake News" journalist. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4802 I told him not to trade his salary for corporate stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4803 It's just my Halloween costume. Trick or treat! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4804 We at Acme & Co. don't believe in the 8th Amendment. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4805 He was warned about those long lunches. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4806 Where's Dave? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4807 I see H.R. finally nabbed the fridge lunch thief. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4808 He refused to buy the office coffee 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4809 I'd heard the company was investing in some new stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4810 Welcome to the next business day after the sales team lost the office trivia challenge. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4811 Well, I heard he was caught stealing yogurt from the staff lounge. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4812 Where do they sell the bonds? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4813 He pronounced GIF wrong. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4814 His stocks seem to be holding up quite well. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4815 Wasn't he just in employee of the month? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4816 HE'S INTO STOCKS, NOT BONDS! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4817 He's in the stock for illegal trade. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4818 He left the seat up in the unisex restroom 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4819 He asked for a standing desk. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4820 Well, he shouldn't have reheated his fish in the break room. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4821 Maybe we moved from that credit union a bit too hastily! 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4822 So this is what our new millenial HR Executive came up with to boost morale? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4823 Bonds are easier to divest than stocks. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4824 He replied all to a mass email. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4825 Leftover fish in the microwave. Third violation. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4826 He took to many bathroom trips 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4827 He's on Twitter restriction. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4828 Oh, thats Headly our advertising honcho, he spent a million dollars on the Bakers Chocolate advertisement adds, he didn't catch the typo and the b became an f." 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4829 Pay no attention, he's just looking for sympathy. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4830 Forgot your tie again? 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4831 Our Human Resources Manager is so old-school. 1.0455 0.04652 22 21 1 0
4832 He can't complain, he's making more than the minimum wage. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4833 "One smart remark and here comes Title IX. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4834 He winked at Boss's wife. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4835 I hear he made a killing in bonds. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4836 I see the company stock price is down again. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4837 Somewhere out there an out of work robot is smiling. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4838 Got caught opening numerous unauthorized accounts for our bank customers, 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4839 He was caught tweeting. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4840 Can you grab me a sandwich, I'm stuck at work. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4841 I think they are giving us heads up on something here. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4842 He insisted on wearing pleated pants. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4843 He invests in stocks. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4844 "Just my opinion, but I don't think the stock options are worth it". 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4845 Wall Street hasn't been the same since Trump instituted his insider trading penalties. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4846 Say what you will about Trump, but stocks are doing great. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4847 I take it you've never worked at a holacracy before. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4848 He left his spaghetti sauce all over the microwave oven in the break room. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4849 He does realize that fashion week is over, right? 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4850 Refused to sign the HIPAA privacy agreement, I guess. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4851 It's only until he gets a smartphone. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4852 It appears the suits at Equifax are taking this breach pretty hard. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4853 Didn't wash your hands after using the bathroom again, hey Larry? 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4854 He fat-shamed the Goudy Stout font. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4855 Standing desks were to mainstream for him 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4856 Charlie doesn't own an iPhone. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4857 I think you are a perfect fit for our firm. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4858 Oh, that kind of stock broker. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4859 Now that's what I call a self-executing business plan. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4860 It's the new 'employee of the month' incentive program here in Washington. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4861 He had the lowest sales last month. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4862 Guess he lost our Game of Thrones fantasy draft. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4863 "I always wanted to work here, but I heard their Human Resources department is tough. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4864 "I heard he took all of the recipes out of the this months magazines". 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4865 I guess they finally caught the lunch stealing bandit. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4866 For unlawful co worker knowledge. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4867 He gives a whole new meaning to the "stock" market. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4868 Hope the Wite House also wasn't long-tie-friendly. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4869 For tweeting 'Hamilton' is way overrated. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4870 I'm enjoying HR's new sexual harassment policy. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4871 Harsh? Sure. But no one microwaves fish twice. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4872 The offer said, "Restriction apply, see store for details." 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4873 When they said the company stock was going up, this wasn't what I had in mind 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4874 He let his checking account balance fall below $1,000. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4875 Looks like Bill accidentally hit Reply All again. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4876 It was a Level 4 violation: Extending coffee break with prior authorization 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4877 No doubt about it, bonds are a safer pick than stocks in this environment 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4878 His neck tie is so out of fashion. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4879 So tell me again exactly what my husband did? 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4880 I guess we're moving more towards stocks and bonds now... 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4881 Better than getting a pink slip, don't you think? 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4882 Our auditors are really tough! 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4883 Really, Dave? Everyone in the office already knows you're cheap. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4884 Yea, he's taken his interest in stocks a little too far. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4885 Oh. That's Jim from the stockroom. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4886 Colonial decor is not to my liking. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4887 "You think that's old-fashioned? We still use BlackBerrys. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4888 I told Josh that he should just go ahead and contribute to the company's B'day Cake Fund. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4889 He came in late again... 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4890 Isn't this meeting 'business casual'? 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4891 I see you took the stock option. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4892 Phil's mistress skipped town with the keys. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4893 Huh, he's a man, so no scarlet A. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4894 He tried to use two years worth of sick days in one month. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4895 It's to encourage the others. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4896 He's the intern 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4897 Looks like Jerry's salary negotiation didn't go well. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4898 The stock price has really hit this company hard. I remember when we used to have three of those. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4899 Ughh, I hate getting stuck at work! 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4900 Apparently the lambada really is the forbidden dance. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4901 Although it's technically a pillory, our stockes have gone public. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4902 He was caught wearing white after Labor Day... 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4903 Not saying he had it coming, but Reply All comes with consequences. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4904 Apt punishment for a dissident stockholder. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4905 Stocks must be down again. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4906 This is a posted Grope-free zone. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4907 At least he didn't shoot the messenger. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4908 He was hired because he is really into the stocks. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4909 If you lose the stocks, you get the stocks. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4910 About the new copier repair service you found... 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4911 What happened to the kennel? 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4912 He's always gotta upstage my tie. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4913 If you don't meet your sales goal within 90 days, you will be subject to termination. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4914 Poor Paul is stuck at the office again. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4915 Getting fired might be a better option. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4916 Looks like they finally caught the breakroom thief. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4917 It's our response to the corporate ladder. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4918 He's being pilloried for his egregious Trump tie. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4919 Poor guy. Corporate passes out the rotten eggs at 3:00. 1.0435 0.04446 23 22 1 0
4920 Oh, THOSE kind of stocks and bonds. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4921 The iron lady was just too messy. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4922 He forgot his tie on friday. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4923 I'm thinking IRAs might be more our speed. I have some concerns about bonds. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4924 Just testing out the new standing desk! 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4925 Employee of the month winner! 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4926 We've just changed our business framework. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4927 That is the kind of stock option you don't want 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4928 I see stocks are up. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4929 This new art really freaks me out. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4930 I tried to tell him that bonds were safer! 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4931 He's stocks. Bonds is down the hall. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4932 Confinement does concentrate the mind, but Human Resources is after us now. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4933 Hey look! It's your dopplegangster if you don't shape up. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4934 His tie ended two inches below his belt. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4935 He says, "what year is it?" Then Laura Palmer screams and then the lights go out and that's the end. I always say this, but David Lynch really disappeared up his own ass this time. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4936 It lied about its pronouns. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4937 He should have known to keep his thoughts about the President to himself. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4938 His phone rang in a meeting. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4939 We trade in both stocks and bonds. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4940 It's a new division. Stocks and bonds. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4941 Oh, that reminds me to check my stocks and bonds portfolio. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4942 Our new woman president runs a tight ship. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4943 These new standing desks are supposed to be great for improving your adulterousness. 1.0417 0.04256 24 23 1 0
4944 Bob forgot to check in with the front desk. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
4945 Market punishment. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
4946 They're still a bit old fashioned 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
4947 Ever since that meditation retreat our manager has insisted that to sell stocks we must get inside the stocks 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
4948 Yeah, that's what happens when you mess around with stocks. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
4949 personal e-mails were getting out of hand 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
4950 Well, he did vote for trump. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
4951 He refused to give up his keys when they let him go. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
4952 He runs the stocks counter. 1.0400 0.04082 25 24 1 0
4953 He should have asked for a toaster. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
4954 Late expense report. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
4955 Playing video games at work set in the middle ages is okay; just not winning. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
4956 I'm starting to think it's not that much of an improvement over solitary confinement. 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
4957 I told him to sell the stocks! 1.0333 0.03390 30 29 1 0
4958 Aren't you glad we're not on RyanAir too? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
4959 Pilloried On The NYCE 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4960 He was warned not to spoke in this place. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4961 He wrote things down on paper one too many times. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
4962 A personal taste of the product, helps employees develop an affinity with it. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4963 He's working overtime tonight. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4964 This all started with the Fancy Feast. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4965 Is that the guy from Stockade Fire? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4966 Oh, that's Bob. He didn't turn in his expense reports on time. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4967 I rather like this transformation from passive aggressive corporate culture to transparency. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4968 And that's Art. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4969 When bonds didn't work for him, he switched to stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4970 He failed sex harassment prevention training 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4971 It was that or be whipped through the hallways. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4972 The pillory is a reminder that we all must meet our monthly quotas. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4973 He asked for stock shares. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
4974 What, no bonus? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4975 He swiped left instead of right. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4976 I guess he shouldn't have asked the boss for a promotion. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4977 I told him when he interviewed for the job that we used some archaic lie detectors. He said well I can beat those machines. I gave him a copy of our employment rules which he didn't read, he said their all the same. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4978 I miss my cubicle. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
4979 We couldn't find an app. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4980 To be fair, he was warned about those extra long coffee breaks.... 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4981 Looks who's in the cat bird seat. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4982 That's the guy who sent this morning's chain email 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4983 They say sitting is the new smoking. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4984 Bad news. The stock market's up. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4985 Nothing focuses the mind quite like office humiliation in the pillory. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4986 He's delinquent on his mortgage. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4987 He an example of 'living art' which is the new rage with millennials 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4988 I heard that he demanded a stock option 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4989 Under table games in the budget meeting. Sometimes they put the phone on the floor in front of him to watch people beating his score. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4990 I think the judge was pretty lenient on Ted's insider "stock" trading. Pretty ironic punishment though, don't ya think? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4991 These new 3D TVs are so realistic! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4992 Ignore it. Stock market humor. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4993 What type of art do they call that today? Dunno, Hon, google it! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4994 I remember when being offered the stock option was a benefit. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4995 He is just doing gym inside. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
4996 He was caught texting in the elevator. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4997 When it said stocks and bonds I thought it meant something different 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
4998 Serves 'im right, damn mime. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
4999 Working his way up to the golden handcuffs. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5000 That's the smartphone anonymous rehabilitation machine. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5001 He tweeted the worst suggestion that management ever heard. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5002 He "replied all" to a company-wide email 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5003 Well, the executive editor said we needed a stock character in here. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5004 he's responsible for the company's stocks plummeting. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5005 Stock options just aren't what they used to be. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5006 'They decided he wasn't a team player when he didn't sign the Birthday card. " 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5007 I think Rogers is overdoing the self-effacing act, but I like the tie. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5008 That's Joe, he was was 5 minutes late this morning - we are very keen on good timekeeping....... 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5009 Remember the refrigerator is gluten free. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5010 Way too much starch. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5011 What a shame!...Always a necktie, even in the worst of circumstances. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5012 We're only you touring, right?!? 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5013 He's so ungrateful. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5014 Picked the wrong stock. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5015 Caught him drinking the wrong haf-caf cappuccino, one made without almond milk. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5016 I mean, it's company policy, no spoilers. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5017 He cooked fish in the microwave. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5018 It's self-loathing Friday. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5019 And here on the 47th floor, our associates specialize in stocks and bondage. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5020 There are consequences for using your cell in meetings. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5021 "He represents a balanced portfolio: stocks and bonds". 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5022 Maybe he'll finally learn not to reply-all to the whole company. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5023 It's their entry for this year's Green Award for sustainable decor. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5024 I told Ted it was a mistake to insist on stock options. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5025 He shouldn't have opted for the stock options. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5026 Lack of performance art 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5027 He is from Brussels. Welcome to the stock exchange. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5028 Due to his accent he misunderstood the meaning of faux pas as your paw. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5029 HE CLAIMS TO BE A SPECIALIST IN TORTURE, AND CALLS HIMSELF AN AMERICAN ORIGINALIST. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5030 Poor guy, they still won't raise his debt ceiling. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5031 He wouldn't sign Howard's Get Well card 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5032 sometimes I feel the lost keycard policy is a tad too strict 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5033 He asked for full-coverage insurance. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5034 Poor Bob, the boss is really into email etiquette. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5035 He complained about our progressive discipline policy. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5036 He must have changed his search engine again ...... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5037 I see Jenkins got tangled in his new stand-up workstation again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5038 I think the jury is still out on this feng shui. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5039 Yeah, our product works really good if you wanna endure something. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5040 His boss doesn't Twitter, so... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5041 Nice to see their stock's up. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5042 I hear he voted for you-know-who. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5043 "looks like that unauthorized bank account scandal has come full circle". 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5044 Maybe I'll use the husband parking next time. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5045 And that's why you don't disturb me during work. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5046 Intern abuse 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5047 Looks likes the stocks market is doing well. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5048 New CEO thought Bill needed aid picking stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5049 Former Trump staffer.... 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5050 They say its artisanal wood. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5051 "You look cute today, Dwight." (Jim) "Thanks girl." (Dwight) -The Office 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5052 Let's just say his lunch wasn't litterless. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5053 I am never nominating myself for employee of the month again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5054 He forgot to put the cover sheet on his TPS reports. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5055 Go right ahead; HR wants you to look. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5056 Nice guy, but he took this "customer is always right" thing way too seriously. He had to be made an example of. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5057 Is this Trump Tower or the White House? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5058 He's an example for rule breakers!! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5059 I still prefer the Free-Speech Stocks to that stupid talking stick. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5060 Amateurs--at least ours is linked to an anonymous account. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5061 It's the hottest digital cleansing trend in the city, you only pay $5K and you get to keep the wooden stock 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5062 Its one of the remedies in his contract 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5063 Katherine, this is getting a bit ridiculous 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5064 'Poor guy, it looks like he tried to escape the norm and got locked up for it.' 'Actually I just tried to leave my cell, but that works too.' 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5065 That's taking bullish to a new level. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5066 He blogged about our diversity program - a big mistake. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5067 We've been in need of a Human Resources rep for a while now. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5068 He didn't tweet the products enough. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5069 THE BOSS JUST GOT BACK FROM A VACATION IN SALEM MASS. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5070 Do you think he is tied up with the board? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5071 He took a 61 lunch hour. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5072 He came out as a conservative. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
5073 Is this what you meant when you suggested I diversify my portfolio into stocks? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5074 I always wondered why the snack room has such a disproportionate amount of tomatoes. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5075 This flipchart always seems to run out of paper 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5076 That's punishment for flirting on company time. New boss says, "I'm an Originalist." 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5077 Yeah, sorry, I got a little jealous of your ex, I thought you still loved him. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5078 Jones has been transferred to stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5079 Late with his TPS reports again 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5080 «Yeah, he couldn't keep up with all these changes, he's been shelved.» 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
5081 How the mighty have fallen: from stockbroker to stockjoker. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5082 He's in the stocks for the stocks..... 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5083 He lost the legal department's winning lotto ticket. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5084 If you think the new stock options suck, wait till you see the bonds. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5085 Not only is your backseat driving annoying, it is also costing me minutes. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5086 As I told you, Frank, anyone in the call center allowing a service cancellation is severely disciplined! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5087 I heard that he was complaining about a lack of employee engagement. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5088 Just give one, more water then the other and this what happens! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5089 I think that the witch-hunt is over at least for women 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5090 Looks like stocks are up today! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5091 Whew, Steverino! Didn't see that coming. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5092 I didn't know Beavis was a member of the Trump cabinet! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5093 Stocks and bondage. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5094 Oh, that's nothing compared to what you have to go through to get your mitts on the new iPhone! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5095 Why don't we take advantage of him while he's sitting there. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5096 He told the boss he didn't like his tie. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5097 That's what you get when you take the last cup of office coffee and don't refill the pot! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5098 He made a bad pick so they decided to punnish him. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5099 let every one take a vacation. enjoyed parties. animals. and laughter. and every one hug each other. and the food and drinks and let "love shine" like stars 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5100 Another underdraft. Sad. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5101 Looks like Smith didn't close his merger. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5102 And don't let your coffee breaks run overly long. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5103 Looks like the stocks are back up. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5104 Looks like they've started enforcing the new rule about starting sentences with the word "so." 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5105 Since the world has gone green, future chieftains no longer start out in the mail room. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5106 It's sort of a play on words. Blattner told the entire board they were prisoners of the stock market. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5107 Nothing is certain except death, taxes, and Jeff's April fools jokes. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5108 They got rid of the tellers but brought back public shaming? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5109 He's trying out for that new tv show "The Hand-Valets Tale". 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5110 This installation is about what happens to those who don't cut costs. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5111 This is nothing. Wait until you see the stockroom. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5112 Doesn't matter, Dan. No one wants Pillory Friday! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5113 Someone didn't have a credit card to hold for incidentals. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5114 I didn't realize our CEO would take someone disagreeing with his ideas so seriously! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5115 Have you heard the new policy for tardiness? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5116 It's something his new Chief of Staff instituted 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5117 He was caught telling the truth. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5118 What an odd necktie. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5119 Intern hazing - he's waiting for the stock to split. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5120 I know, I'm also worried about we make a turn! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5121 I see Perlman got the stock option. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5122 Stocks are down today! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5123 Is that in the employee handbook? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5124 It was either that or bondage… 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5125 Sexually harassed his manager. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5126 3/4 inch marine ply. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5127 He must have lost it when he was at the Information Desk. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5128 He stayed in his office during the fire drill. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5129 Title VII is so previous administrations. Higher heels and shorter hemlines...or you're next. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5130 It's the new company policy for sexual harassment. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5131 Well, I heard that he's an actor, but I never knew he was this good. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5132 Oh, son. We'll let you run the company's social media page again as soon as the press dies down. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5133 When is he going to figure out he can just walk out? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5134 It's part of Corporates' new incentive program for meeting quotas 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5135 Caught bing watching Bewitched. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5136 Stuck too much to the old work routine! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5137 He really shouldn't have taken that stock option. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5138 The irony is he voted for Pillory. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5139 I see our temps are not yet out of stock. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5140 Caught for 'insider trading'. Something to do with stocks! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5141 Oh, he is our stocks man. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5142 He is our new lobbyist. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5143 He recommended holding our stocks and the dyslexic copy room boy got confused 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5144 Bet that's the last time he steals office supplies 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5145 It's "Bring your transgressions to work day." 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5146 'The CEO preparing for the Board Meeting.' 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5147 H.R. was given a mandate to change the company's culture! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5148 Oh, he's not being punished, he's being celebrated for being late. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5149 We do business the old fashioned way. That's our compliance officer! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5150 Yeah, I think I'd like to stay of of stocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5151 Is this what they meant by the indoor dunk tank. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5152 It's an art piece that was constructed by Daniel Defoe in 1703. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5153 "If it's the town square, where's the village smithy?' 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5154 Well, it was the second time he reheated fish in the microwave. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5155 One too many food posts on Facebook. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5156 I think they are taking office art installations too far. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5157 That's his wife planning to keep him in there overnight. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5158 He complained about the wellness program. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5159 That's Kyle, our stocks intern. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5160 Oh the Wells Fargo guy. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5161 I thought I heard him say "stocks were up" 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5162 "He thought he was coming to vote." -Chad McCain 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5163 Don't feel too bad...we're putting you in his office. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5164 He tried to leave with a hotel towel. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5165 That reminds me we're out of chicken stock. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5166 White guilotine. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5167 No, no he's fine. It's our standard HR strategy for expats until DACA gets ironed out by congress. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5168 I thought you said these guys aren't just annuities peddlers. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5169 Ugly tie. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5170 It looks like Harold will offer another lame excuse for missing our dinner date. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5171 I wonder what his interest rate was? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5172 Later, we going to pies at him. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5173 HR just added a new piece of bad performance art. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5174 He touched the painting. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5175 "Am I still eligible for the "'Free"' upgrade? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5176 They caught him pushing all the elevator floor buttons. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5177 I know it gets chilly up here. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5178 Sales Projection failure. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5179 He gave the wrong information three times in one day. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5180 ...and over there is our pun guillotine. Just stay away from office supply puns and you'll be fine. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5181 He fed the birds. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5182 He ordered anchovies on their delivered pizza. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5183 I know this is Wall Street......But, a stockade? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5184 "Frank came in last for sales this month". 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5185 "Oh, that's just Metcalf...he's on loan this week from Wells as part of our quota-matching stimulus program"... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5186 Just the first warning. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5187 We recommended bonds, but he insisted. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5188 He really is pushing stocks and bonds. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5189 That's Fred--he used to be in Bonds. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5190 Fo you think the tie is Hermes? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5191 Just ousted as Hollywood Reporter for 'Rotten Tomatoes' 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5192 He forgot to pay his membership dues at Mar Largo Golf Club... 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5193 Strict rules about clean fingernails. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5194 Stock trader in training. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5195 When Doug said he was in stocks, I guess I thought he was on Wall Street. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5196 He has a guilt complex", "The judge thought it was a good idea", The boss thought it might raise morale", "Gotta follow the rules around here", "Wait till his wife finds out", "He screwed up big time but gets to keep his job 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5197 He didn't opt in to paperless banking. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5198 He has trouble thinking outside the stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5199 There's stocks, wonder where they keep bonds? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5200 I just read humiliation is the latest in wellness. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5201 He invested all of the pension funds in stocks and they're trying to teach him a lesson. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5202 That's the new tie rack I was looking at. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5203 Don't pay any attention. Last week he was juggling. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5204 Our newest Board member. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5205 Oh! I wonder if they do bonds as well! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5206 You say cruelty we say performance art 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5207 This is exactly like my dream' 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5208 He is considered to be our lobbyist. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5209 Burns has gotten into the stock market again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5210 Oh that's the new hire. He's going through orientation. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5211 Ralph is demoted. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5212 Misogyny 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5213 He didn't realize that when management said, "Think Outside the Box" it wasn't to be taken literally. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5214 Wow... Gary never wears a tie. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5215 He's been 'replying all.' 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5216 He didn't forward the inter office chain email. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5217 Bad stock advice around here is taken seriously. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5218 Don't you think that the penalties for not using the company-issued standing desk are getting a bit ridiculous? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5219 I don't know. I'm not terribly fond of the decor in here. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5220 You shouldn't grab my lunch in the first place! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5221 I warned him about using his real name on whistleblower.com. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5222 He's not leaving today. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5223 I don't feel too bad. The disciplinary policy was his idea. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5224 One too many clapbacks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5225 They're testing out this alternative to simply firing every C-level executive who has behaved inappropriately with the other gender. The talent drain was just too great. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5226 We handle harassment of co-workers internally 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5227 You need his PIN to unlock it. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5228 Here at Trump Towers, a tenth of our workforce spends one day in our "Pillory for Supporting Hillary!" 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5229 He's not your garden-variety. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5230 Stocks and bonds just took on a whole new meaning. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5231 Good ole' Jenkins! Always the first one to come in in the morning, and the last one to go home at night. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5232 Looks like Gordon was caught using the CFO's toilet again. He's a wild cat, that Gordon. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5233 Pushed all the elevator buttons. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5234 He just switched his portfolio from bonds to stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5235 Well he didn't wash the coffee pot. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5236 At least it is no longer Hillary being pilloried! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5237 I didn't know the intern started this week. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5238 Seafood in the office microwave again. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5239 Sessions caught him tweeting. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5240 Another perk. Zero tolerance for sexual harassment. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5241 I'm glad our core values include freedom to say what you think. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5242 It may be old fashion, but it really cuts down on damaging leaks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5243 He used the people elevator for freight. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5244 I would not recommend our stock options. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5245 By now, I would have expected people to know enough not to say "I want to work in stocks" during their performance review. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5246 Whistle blowers can no longer be fired. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5247 The corporate conduct policy can be very puritanical. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5248 He's on a HMO. Hospital rooms are not covered. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5249 He asked if we could wear polo shirts instead of ties. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5250 Oh yeah, you'll find the boss is a stickler for NOT parking in his spot 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5251 My opinion. I don't get these stand up work stations. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5252 He missed his sales quota again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5253 I hope next time he won't forget to bring the donuts 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5254 Eliminates absenteeism. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5255 I don't know why he's always complaining. He applied for the stock boy job. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5256 He's paying off his loan in stocks and bonds. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5257 Jim works in stocks. You'll be in my office working in bonds. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5258 Standing at pillory is much healthier than sitting in the stocks all day. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5259 New Employee-of-the-Month plaque! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5260 He microwaved fish for lunch yesterday. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5261 His stocks are down. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5262 Created fake checking accounts. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5263 Jack from accounting...he's does all our "stockade" trading 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5264 Is this how we're marketing stock security? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5265 He made insincere remarks about the Sandwich of the Day in the Luncheon Adventure Line. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5266 He reheated his fish in the microwave. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5267 I think we may not be in the right office for stock transactions. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5268 They take laying the blame 'seriously' around here. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5269 He didn't make the coffee this morning. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5270 It's a new prototype we're testing. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5271 For texting at work? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5272 It gets messy during lunch. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5273 That is only one aspect of our company's progressive gender inequality program. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5274 I went to a Teller. His name was Penn! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5275 Looks like he finally got his ergonomic desk. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5276 Our new HR initiative promotes transparency in radical self-criticism. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5277 That's the third time he neglected to re-synch his iPad to the network. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5278 Pick out the stocks or be put in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5279 I hear he's the new head of Human Resources ... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5280 When they said we were returning to our roots, I thought they meant getting rid of casual Friday. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5281 HE's new anti-harassment policy sure has gotten tougher. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5282 He should have read the fine print. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5283 Just wait until they get to the bonds. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5284 It's OK. He's not an employee, he's a client. That's our Genius Bar 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5285 Sure you can win, just pump harder. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5286 I guess Mr. Henderson really does get Medical on his Ass, ahem, sistants! I heard that Mr. Henderson also got medical on his assets. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5287 He's the bank's stocks broker. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5288 He's our new stock analyst. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5289 Maybe we should unionize. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5290 It's all the latest rage: "Enhanced hands-off management." 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5291 The Human Resources Department caught him acting presidential. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5292 That is the new customer retention protocol. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5293 Looks like Wilson missed his quota again. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5294 Wonder where he got the tie. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5295 He used white-out on his computer screen. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5296 His editor accused him of having writer's block. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5297 We're NEVER going to overdraw on our account again! 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5298 When you said stock aid I assumed you were going to help me with my portfolio! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5299 Wrong tie length for DNC Headquarters 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5300 I hear he's the founder of this organization 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5301 Just because he went out and tied one on last night. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5302 He needs a stocks picker. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5303 He's in stocks. Who is in bonds? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5304 He took "casual Fridays" too far. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5305 It's a form of medieval management. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5306 I hear compliance training retention is up in departments using the new program. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5307 Oh, I thought you said he's 'into' stocks! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5308 These guys would be great for us--no extra weight. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5309 See the ring! Probably promised to meet his wife here. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5310 I heard he was caught stealing Post it Notes. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5311 The new guy who really believed the suggestion about boss is 'anonymous'. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5312 He's the new supervisor in Stocks and Bonds. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5313 Wrong stock exchange. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5314 Bonds. I mean, duh? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5315 He's the face of our stock research 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5316 That "lean in" thing can be tricky. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5317 No, not porn. He was watching cat videos again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5318 What a lazy wage-slave! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5319 He's in "reply all" timeout. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5320 Great. Looks like Ted forgot the Friday donuts again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5321 'Stock-in-trade punishment for scheming stock traders!' 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5322 It's the latest in standing desks - they trap you in a headlock, if you get caught sitting. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5323 A welcoming lobby, where people like to hang around. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5324 Any idea what he's advertising? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5325 He never did well in stocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5326 ....remind me to check our 401k allocation for stocks and bonds! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5327 It's their stock photo manager. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5328 Others opt for the standard lunch break. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5329 H.R. has gotten very into 'Game of Thrones.' 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5330 Probably punishment for failing to submit a required report on time, since we have very strict performance standards around here. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5331 Stockard Manning? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5332 Tried to access mne's room above his pay grade. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5333 Ah, looks like the boss is trying out a new millennial management strategy. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5334 Watching "Game of Thrones" on company time. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5335 There are rules for chat and cut. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5336 Tough choice, public embarassment like this, or having a finger chopped off. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5337 I thought "stocksmarket" was just a typo. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5338 That's Arnold, one of our new acquisitions. In stocks, obviously. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5339 He got cocky about leaking the next people Trump was going to ax, but the boss went ballistic when he told The New Yorker about Jared's Harvard admissions essay! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5340 Now here’s an example of corporal art. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5341 He got caught sexting with his secretary. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5342 That'll teach him to eat lunch out. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5343 He didn’t meet his quarterly numbers. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5344 Fake handicap at the golf tournament last weekend 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5345 They call it the no-pain no-gain public-shame diet. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5346 Stock marketing 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5347 Why yes, we are a very traditional stock company. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5348 That's what you get for walking while texting! 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5349 The media pen just wasn't doing the trick. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5350 He parked in a disabled space 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5351 Back to the future! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5352 Looks like someone has put the "stocks"into "stockbroker". 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5353 Poor S.O.B.? Do you know how many meetings he gets to miss!? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5354 He suggested an employee stock ownership program. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5355 Do you think it beneficial to have clients shown all stock options? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5356 He wore a suit on dress down Friday. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5357 I think I'm going to sneeze! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5358 He didn't apologize for the delayed response. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5359 Must be the new mortgage late fee penalty! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5360 I hear he's taking stock of his life. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5361 I'd say HR has a bit more work to do with the Sales Department. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5362 Larry's still mostly in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5363 bet he leaves a lousy review 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5364 HR's latest sexual harassment policy - one verbal warning, and then that 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5365 I guess that's participating in the trend to make America great again 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5366 Beats down-sizing. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5367 Hey babe, we need to talk about this whole long distance relationship thing. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5368 He's into vintage clothing lately. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5369 and on the left, our Daily Trainee Post; today's employee bullies coworkers and shamelessly plays the victim.. he's called me-His Boss!- a 'violent narcissist loser', the asshole 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5370 And the company's very hot on ergonomics 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5371 He missed the quarterly deadline. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5372 He answered his cell phone during a meeting 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5373 So the rumor is true; they did hire pardoned Sheriff Joe Arpaio. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5374 He kept going on about exposure. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5375 HR's treatment for compulsive office hour tweeting. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5376 It's our new equivalency program. Giving bad stock advice gets you a week in the stocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5377 Executive offices aren't quite the perk they used to be 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5378 And that's Bill, he's in finance. Oh and I should mention we believe in corporal punishment around here. Also, there's no paid paternity leave. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5379 Don't mind him he is the office chiropractor. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5380 The new anti-tardiness policy goes too far! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5381 Bad credit score. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5382 Looks like Bill's stock options went South! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5383 Yes, it's part of the new open office design- helps with creativity 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5384 So I guess they really meant no more standing desk orders 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5385 Wow, HR sure is getting harsh 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5386 Yep....another one who didn't make his numbers for the month. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5387 Stocks are down today! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5388 Corporate is busy axing everyone else 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5389 The new CEO is an ex-hedge fund guy. Homie's gonna find out that doesn't play in the high tech world. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5390 They told him he was being fitted. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5391 Corporate thinks this helps us take stock of ourselves. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5392 -"Yet another victim of the stock exchange." -"What a shame." 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5393 What happened to him?" "His stocks didn't go up. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5394 The poor devil stole Sweeney Todd's identity by mistake. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5395 In reception, they take stock ownership a bit more literally. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5396 I guess Jerry didn't see it coming. If he had known he wouldn't bothered with the necktie. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5397 I always knew Ed dabbled with stocks and bonds on the side. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5398 "We'll be careful not to spend a head off our budget" Joyce C. Grimm, Pittsburgh, PA 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5399 He invested in the stock, not the stock market. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5400 I think that he is over-exposed in the company stock. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5401 That is SO much more civilized than the disemboweling they used to get when the sales department didn't meet their quota. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5402 Is that an FDA approved treatment? 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5403 They hired a new fitness trainer to help with sitting disease. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5404 Some days are diamonds, some days are stone 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5405 The people in this office live and die by the stocks. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5406 It's the company's new program to help employees quit smoking! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5407 We should get one for the bedroom, Mike. Don't you think? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5408 Lesson learned. Don't marry the CEO. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5409 He parked in the Employee of the Month parking and he doesn't even work here. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5410 He asked to have a foozball table installed. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5411 It's in the handbook, pillory for the pilferers. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5412 I guess the board approved the new lock up period 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5413 He threw his towels on the floor. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5414 Yeah, an anti-Trump e-mail on the "secure" server. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5415 Big downside to picking the wrong stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5416 ...this is human resources....oh, and don't ever do anything, uh impolitic, in the elevator. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5417 I heard Creative took over Corporate Humiliation. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5418 Did I mention our zero-tolerance policy? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5419 "You keep your tie,I applied for it". 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5420 If only he could trade that stock 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5421 And that's the new manager of performance art 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5422 Apparently he forgot to give the governor a "Harumph!" 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5423 That guy has so many hang ups. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5424 I am so jealous! He has one of the best offices! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5425 Doing the boardwalk. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5426 That's what you get when you use up all the printer paper. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5427 He forgot it was his turn to bring in coffee. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5428 Looks like Ted went with the stocks option. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5429 He invested in the wrong stock 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5430 Somehow I think Harry could do better . . . 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5431 Oh, Harry? Gosh, we don't know. Just glad it isn't us! 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5432 The bond market has them too. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5433 He's got all of his 401k in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5434 'The company's dress code policy is no long ties' 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5435 Squeezed the Juicero packets by hand, poor bastard. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5436 Looks like they put Steve in charge of the bulletin board. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5437 Looks like Bob lost another account 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5438 In the old days hitting "reply all" usually meant the gallows. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5439 Didn't meet his sales quota . 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5440 Steal someone's lunch here and you pay the price. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5441 he's investing in stocks 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5442 Expense account abuse has dropped off a cliff since we started making examples out of them. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5443 Looks like the new samples have arrived. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5444 You're supposed to post a selfie with Rick to Instagram and hashtag it with #weknowstocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5445 He should have gotten out while his Puritan Stock was up. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5446 He will do anything for a favorable social media status. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5447 Our CEO is leading a campaign to wipe out witchcraft within the company. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5448 He's stockholder 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5449 Welcome to the Williamsburg office. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5450 He must deal in stocks and bonds. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5451 It's for criticizing our Do No Evil policy. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5452 He stole a Laptop, two Toner Cartridges, and three Sheep. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5453 I heard that Bob was just transferred here from Bonds. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5454 What kind of brokerage did you say this was? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5455 Didn't contribute to United Way. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5456 It could be worse, the company has a strict policy against over using office supplies. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5457 Yeah, apparently he hit 'reply all' one too many times. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5458 Looks like King John got ahold of the 'New Patient Forms' again... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5459 "He dared to jump thr elevator line!"Brizedem31@gmail.com 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5460 He's the reporter who wrote fake news 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5461 Time to rebalance;the portfolio,its way overweight in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5462 Is that one of that an Andy Warhol ? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5463 He forgot a deadline. Twice. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5464 Aren't you glad you left Wells Fargo? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5465 The new management trainees have it so easy now. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5466 He was fired by lock-stock- and barrel. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5467 At least his glasses are clean, and his tie is straight and narrow. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5468 He forgot the cover for his TPS report. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5469 I'm glad I never got into stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5470 It's the new sales incentive program" 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5471 Looks like our stock is up today. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5472 Never disparage the boss online. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5473 "New corporate retention initiative"? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5474 His investment in stocks didn't turn out well at all. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5475 One copy left in stock. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5476 This is the 'Hillary Pillory' public art installation on loan from the lobby of the Trump Tower, now showcasing Henry Kissinger. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5477 I heard Johnson got pilloried just because his tie was too long. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5478 Stop eating our lunches, Dave. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5479 That's our latest avant guard 3-D art. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5480 Oh, don't worry, we'll straighten it out. The boss is a descriptivist and head of security is a prescriptivist. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5481 In retrospect "golden handcuffs" doesn't sound so bad. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5482 "He's the latest to lose his job at the White House! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5483 Eeeesh...someone didn't get the, "Don't heat up fish in the microwave!" memo 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5484 He trades in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5485 His wife is a member of the D.A.R. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5486 HE GOT CAUGHT SMOKING IN THE BATHROOM! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5487 Now let's take that test drive. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5488 Hello there! Welcome to the capitalist marketplace! How may we help you today? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5489 It's driving us crazy, we can't figure out what he did wrong. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5490 The stock option isn't what it used to be. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5491 The company calls it Bad Performance Art. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5492 Gotta admire a company that still practices pillory! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5493 It looks like the stock market is doing well. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5494 I guess he chose the stock option 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5495 ... not so bad. If you lose an account, now that's when they really put the screws to you. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5496 He calls it the anti-fidget spinner. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5497 We should stop hazing the new guy. It's bad for our lobby's fengshui. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5498 Now that is an offensive statue. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5499 In our Academi all independent contractors are bonded and insured. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5500 That's what happens when you send work related group texts on Sunday mornings. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5501 Harvey was caught cheating on his expense report. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5502 He spoke truth to power. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5503 That's Jack, our token old-timer. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5504 He is our inside the box thinker. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5505 On his first day he demanded company stock. So I gave it to him. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5506 I heard he wasn't paying attention to the company's stock. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5507 Better a pillory than a guillotine, I suppose. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5508 I see Harvey is bullish on stocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5509 He refuses to stand up while working. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5510 He violated our sexual harassment policy and we want to keep his hands where we can see them. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5511 I heard about this. It's their new safety deposit box. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5512 And over there is the stocks and bonds department... 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5513 They’re the root of this display; they need to get rid of middle management instead of telling them sales are down but just hang in there. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5514 The boss has tried almost everything to boost Phil's monthly sales quotas. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5515 This your first visit to Trump Tower then ,it's the loyalty waiting area. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5516 I'd hate to see the bonds department. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5517 I heard more people were getting into stocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5518 See what happens if you don't pledge absolute loyalty? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5519 Re-training. He's just come back from Wall Street. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5520 Mondays amirite 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5521 He microwaved fish in the break room again 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5522 Another whistleblower. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5523 That's what happens when you microwave leftover fish in the office break room! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5524 It's 'Take Your Pillory to Work' day. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5525 Just don't show up late for work and you'll be fine. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5526 Looks like Bob missed quota again. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5527 He called the CEO a old medieval relic 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5528 New stock option. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5529 He's literally being punished for misselling stocks 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5530 SURE IT'S EMBARRASSING BUT WHAT REALLY HURTS IS THE CANCELLATION OF STOCK OPTIONS! 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5531 Their employee recognition program leaves a lot to be desired. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5532 This is how she's punishing him for telling his boss she has a ice rack!' 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5533 It is an improvement on sticks in vases. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5534 I guess the stock is down. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5535 Remind me again how this is better than 2 separate bikes! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5536 I heard he leaked. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5537 That's Harold. He's the only employee who voted for Trump AND hasn't said sorry yet. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5538 He really should diversify. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5539 Just don't talk politics in the workplace. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5540 The boss never likes to use the words, "You're fired." 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5541 He told his financial advisor he wanted to get into stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5542 He's our new internee. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5543 If this internship works out, he could get a full-time gig in the dungeon. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5544 It’s a non-GAAP punishment. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5545 Look Dear,THEY caught the FAKE NEWS REPORTER.. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5546 I would have chosen plan B 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5547 Human Resources has really changed 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5548 He got too casual on Casual Friday. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5549 He refuses to preface every comment with 'look.' 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5550 I told Fred he'd better label his lunch in the refrigerator. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5551 Looks like the stocks are down today. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5552 I see there's a new opening in Accounting. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5553 Standing desks are all the rage. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5554 Next time, just send an email instead of setting up a meeting. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5555 They are calling it medieval art revisited. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5556 Finally some good news. The company stocks are up. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5557 For some reason, Jim didn't come into the office today, so I raided his candy jar. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5558 He outsold the boss. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5559 I guess sending debt collectors after you isn't enough! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5560 Another damned stockbroker 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5561 One of our Creative Directors uses old school punishment for typos. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5562 Over there is our stock photo department. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5563 Our long distance relationship just isn't going to work. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5564 Have you seen our new motivational device? We haven't told HR about it yet, but we think they're just going to love it. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5565 His project came in way over budget. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5566 He tripped on the stairs and ruined our perfect safety record. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5567 Save yourself. Read his Performance Improvement Policy. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5568 Looks like the stock is down. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5569 He put stock in waterboarding bonds but they sank like a stone on a hung jury or were swept away in a tide of social justice - I forget witch. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5570 Oh, that? We've got a new HR director. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5571 I'm a bonds man myself. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5572 Welcome to "Medieval Devices R Us" 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5573 Apropos for an unethical stockbroker, wouldn't you say? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5574 one more thing...You don't want to park in the CEO's space 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5575 Looks like stocks are on the rise again. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5576 "Dead"lines are in name only now. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5577 Pilloried for his extra-long neckties. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5578 They're really getting serious about returning the keys to the mens' room. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5579 He reneged his turn to buy coffee. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5580 I think it was something negative about gender rights. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5581 No one beats our company's stock options 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5582 Wanna head out of here? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5583 He thought it was casual Friday. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5584 He was only late once! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5585 I liked it better when they stuck to potted plants. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5586 I see our stock is up. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5587 It gives new meaning around the office to "in stock." 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5588 That ought to teach him now he doesn't have a choice but to be on time. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5589 Remind me to change my default response to Reply instead of Reply All 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5590 His broker suggested he get into traditional stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5591 I may reconsider our stock option plan after all. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5592 I thought you said this company no longer permits hazing of new recruits. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5593 I guess it's better than a literal backlash. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5594 Catchy tie promotion. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5595 He said something inappropriate. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5596 I see George's department failed to make its sales quota again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5597 I hear this is how the company is handling the sexual harassment cases these days, guess this guy was a grabber. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5598 So this is the new Stock Aid? Very interesting internship! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5599 When did they move the stockroom? 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5600 Forgot to pay his loan 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5601 And one final item before we complete our first day orientation, please remember that the first parking space next to the entrance is reserved for our CEO. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5602 Are you sure this is where you want to spend the weekend? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5603 Caught fudging his sales figures. Happens all the time when they set obviously inflated goals for themselves. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5604 Tom's yogurt was clearly labeled. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5605 Have you seen his KPIs this quarter? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5606 I bet he's sorry he didn't sign in with reception. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5607 Oh, that's Bob. He forgot to fill out his time sheet last week. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5608 Well, that's one category of stocks and bonds I hadn't considered. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5609 Look at the loonitic who thinks he will get work done by just standing. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5610 You make a mistake here, you get pilloried. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5611 This is why I'm in bonds. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5612 My mom needs hip surgery 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5613 Appropriately, we discipline here with either stocks or bonds. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5614 He couldn't keep his mouth shut after he downloaded unreleased episodes of Game of Thrones. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5615 It's a new form of meditation! 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5616 Why did they make him wear a tie. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5617 Management has really taken matters in their own hands now. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5618 He actually asked the doctor a question. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5619 I see what they meant by “Buy Now While Stocks Last” 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5620 We offer health insurance, paid vacations, and for some of our employees, stock options. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5621 You DO have a briefcase, don't you? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5622 Well I heard he used up the last of the water and didn't replace the water cooler jug. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5623 Our back to basics educational materials are always tested before being released. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5624 That's Arnold. He left his cubicle without permission. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5625 He used to be the CEO. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5626 "No, It wasn't his decision!". 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5627 So, "on deck" is filled. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5628 Finnegan is demonstrating a new work station for our DACA employees. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5629 Only the boss can wear a tie that long. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5630 He's just out of bandwidth. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5631 This office runs on good old fashioned discipline. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5632 He's a martyr, wants Men to be allowed into the Ladies wc's. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5633 He's hoping this stock rises... 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5634 Perhaps they cut taxes here too. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5635 That's John from accounting. He must have really screwed up this time. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5636 His broker recommended going long in stocks 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5637 Under the fireplace. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5638 Does he get a spanking, too, for not turning in his time sheet? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5639 No, he's not being punished. He has an internship. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5640 Well, I would throw my tomato at him, but then my sandwich is just bread, meat, and cheese... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5641 'Trump promised sticks would go up" 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5642 He thought that he was signing up for a Hillary experience. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5643 He told a customer, "It's not in stock", rather than "we'll send that right out to you". 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5644 Let's remember to leave the bottle of water out of the briefcases next time... 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5645 It was a Level 4 violation: Extending coffee break with prior authorization 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5646 Wallace, here, expressed some doubts about the Mission Statement." or "Hey! Jenkins! Look alive!", or "Staff have enormous flexibility in how they spend their free time 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5647 That's Uncle George. His wife warned him about touching ladies. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5648 This is the retro department. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5649 He told me in worked in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5650 And be forewarned, we call those the "twitter stocks." 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5651 When you call his office his secretary tells you "He is indisposed at the moment." 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5652 Sometimes you enter a place that makes you think twice of why you even brought your wife. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
5653 Getting rid of Kalanick didn't do it but much less sexual harassment here at Uber since we installed that puppy. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5654 Even our best fund managers sometimes pick the wrong stock. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5655 I would rather pick up trash along the freeway. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5656 "It's the latest trend in corporate performance improvement". " It's called 'The Comey'. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5657 That reminds me, I'm making soup for dinner and I need to pick up some chicken stock. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5658 My guess is that it was one too many pilfered pens. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5659 We take kiting seriously these days Ms. Jones. It's all in the disclosure documents. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5660 Just be sure to read your early retirement package fine print. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5661 He was trying to get ahead. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5662 Oh, he was micro-aggressive. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5663 I told you we could bond more by doing more activities together hunny...did you hear that hunny...hear what? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5664 It's for people who don't have Facebook for trolls. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5665 He voted for Bernie Sanders 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5666 Brown-noser! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5667 Poor Roger, he must have gotten caught accessing the internet again. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5668 S&M represents a huge market opportunity. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5669 He opted out of overdraft protection. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5670 There may be some lingering resentment. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5671 "Looks like James Damore's still in trouble". 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5672 I for sure thought someone in Woodstock would have more groovy clothes on. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5673 It's the latest in motivational art 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5674 It's just a temporary restraining order against plagiarism. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5675 Don't forget to save money on your car insurance 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5676 I am not so sure about the company's new stocks option 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5677 He asked for a pay rise 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5678 He forgot his lunch money. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5679 Oh no, I learned my lesson, I won't give out stocks tips anymore. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5680 His stocks went down. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5681 Day trading just wasn't his thing. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5682 I guess you can tell I'm in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5683 Oh yeah, we frown down on taking what isn't yours from the break room fridge. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5684 I think their ready to execute the CEO of this company! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5685 He admitted using the last Kuerig pod. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5686 He must be a board member. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5687 I'd say he invested in the wrong stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5688 Cleaning the swamp? That's just the tip of the iceberg! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5689 He did not do well on the team building exercise. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5690 Don't ever tell the boss he's wrong. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5691 Dan forgot his ID again. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5692 That's not how I imagined the Stock Exchange. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5693 So that's why our broker is called a stock broker. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5694 He couldn't finish his project on time. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5695 Honey, isn't that your Snapchat buddy? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5696 He implied the news wasn't fake! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5697 That's our new vice president in charge of stock aid. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5698 I don't think the suggestion locks will work any better than the box did. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5699 I just love 18th century decor! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5700 That's what happens when the stocks go down. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5701 It's a startup that features historically informed public shaming. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5702 The Senior Partners take golf seriously. . 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5703 and I thought my year end review went poorly. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5704 He was expecting something else when he signed up for free stocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5705 Oh, I thought the lobby was named for the Stockade family. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5706 Employee of the month perks certainly aren't what they used to be. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5707 He bought the wrong stock. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5708 Stock management seems to be at an all-time low. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5709 Yeah, that's Damon Atrix. He's a little much. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5710 I didn't expect to see performance art here. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5711 That’s our staff stock scheme. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5712 He came in last place for the company fantasy football league. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5713 At least they didn't turn him into an office plant. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5714 I'm sure glad I didn't take the employee stock option 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5715 I heard Hank stole someones lunch from the employees fridge!! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5716 why is that man staring at me? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5717 He stole the office supplies again. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5718 Our stock analysts are very thorough. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5719 He's a stocksbroker. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5720 Management says Employee of the Month was not getting results. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5721 That's a little much showing you prefer equities vs bonds 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5722 "It's a new yoga pose for lunchtime meditation!' 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5723 Don’t do it. It’s a 'mortcage'. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5724 I see our stocks are up. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5725 Don't mind him. He's been taking all the coffee. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5726 That's the new guy, here on a stock exchange 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5727 Next time, I'd better get a "harrumph" from you, too, fellow! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5728 Margaret, for heaven's sake, get hold of yourself. How many times do you think they're going to let you enter a fake code ! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5729 It's a stock expression 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5730 He showed no restraint on using company time to play on the internet. So we put him in a computer playing restraint. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5731 He's hoping to win the prize in the Halloween contest. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5732 It's 'mind over chatter.' 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5733 If that's their stock, how bad are their bonds? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5734 He's exercising his options. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5735 ...and on top of that they made him wear that tie! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5736 There's another employee who used the elevator! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5737 He made it for his new stand-up desk. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5738 He refused to do casual Friday! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5739 First day on the job? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5740 He started taking liberties with casual friday. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5741 This is entry level ! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5742 Standing desks were optional, right? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5743 He misunderstood our stock options app. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5744 His tie was too long. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5745 He's an actor corporate's employing to keep us on our toes. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5746 Remind me not to buy his stock. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5747 We better go before he pees himself. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5748 I told him to evaluate stocks... 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5749 He's our new bondsman. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5750 I guess Mike hit "reply all" one too many times. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5751 How do you like your Pillory Doughboy now? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5752 Joe is into stocks since the market dipped. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5753 Yes he took too many tea breaks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5754 It's performance art symbolizing office anxieties. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5755 A strictly enforced separation agreement has done wonders for employee retention. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5756 He took everything, lock stock and barrel. We're still looking for the barrel. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5757 The new HR Director is into "old school" sensitivity training. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5758 Our co-op takes noise complaints seriously. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5759 The Boss really went medieval on him 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5760 He picked the wrong Lottery numbers. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5761 I get using human signs for carwashes, and supermarket openings, but I question it's use as an ad for stock brokers. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5762 I am on a self-imposed Internet Strike 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5763 It's a sculpture of a meme to recall that we once had products, and, stockboys. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5764 The first year in this place is torture. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5765 She noticed. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5766 He replied all 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5767 Good morning, Deborah. How are the kids? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5768 I'm looking for a position in the stock market. Not the stockade. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5769 Glad we stuck with profit sharing. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5770 Looks like stocks are down. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5771 OSHA permits only organic rotting fruit and vegetables—too expensive to waste on an intern. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5772 He tried to leave early. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5773 Looks like he lost a lot on the stockade market. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5774 Just be glad we don't work in the guillotine market. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5775 That'll teach 'em for not being late to executive boomwhackers. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5776 We had to bring back the gallows to make an example of those who hit 'Reply All'. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5777 Lingering by the water cooler is stealing from the company. Time is money. Ted learned that the hard way. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5778 It seems he had no stock options. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5779 So that's the head of the company? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5780 Well, the prospectus does warn about the firm's exposure in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5781 Yeah, they're really serious about getting your expense reports in on time. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5782 His tie was made in China. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5783 His out of office message was set to "reply all." 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5784 Looks like he invested in the wrong stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5785 Looks like stocks are down again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5786 He was late for his appointment. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5787 Reality TV. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5788 He asked too often for the key to the men's room. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5789 Not until he learns how to smile. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5790 That's Jensen in Stocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5791 Looks like Ed was late for work again 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5792 Diversity training 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5793 Poor soul, his department lost money for the company. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5794 Our clients allocated him from stocks and bonds to stocks and pillories 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5795 "it's his punishment for screwing up the Goldberg contract". 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5796 Standing desks are all the rage these days. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5797 These new lobby decor really is a shame. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5798 Forget it, Jake. It's Salem Town. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5799 The phrase stock expert just doesn’t mean what it used to 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5800 Oh, and they're really big on refilling the coffee pot here. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5801 And over there is Bill who blew his last chance for corporate glory here. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5802 I heard he had stocks in the company. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5803 I voted for Bernie. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5804 His stocks went down. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5805 'Get my draft? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5806 Our divorce lawyers rarely loose a case. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5807 He accidentally hit 'Reply All.' 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5808 They get fired anyway. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5809 He's been in there since Casual Friday. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5810 I’m so glad I’m not in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5811 Not a wise investment during these volatile times. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5812 He friended the CEO’s daughter. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5813 I told him to stick to bonds 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5814 I've worked here 15 years and they never offered me stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5815 Poor Larry. They caught him shorting the boss. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5816 Looks like Jerry is protesting the cafeteria selections again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5817 You can try it if you would like, its self operated and cheaper compared to gull-lo-tine. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5818 Didn't make his monthly sales quota again 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5819 He must've taken vacation. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5820 That tie is hideous with his choice in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5821 His stock tip tanked. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5822 When they said they dealt in stocks and bonds, I thought they meant something else. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5823 It's the required adapter to be able to use the new iPhone 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5824 He's a stocksbroker. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5825 I told him not to work in stocks 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5826 He took investing in stocks a bit too literally. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5827 Contest 582 caption "I'll let you know when I get there" 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5828 I want to support Jason's Kickstarter, but I just don't think the Pillory Stand-Up Desk looks comfortable. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5829 So? HR burned half OUR IT department at the stake. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5830 He ordered the wrong pizza? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5831 Most companies have stocks - we have pillories. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5832 I liked the old overdraft protection. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5833 This is corporate salavery, go get back to work !! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5834 Gilbert, our manager is shy. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5835 I'm glad he's a loyal employee. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5836 Came for the sunsets, stayed for the white guilt. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5837 Our stock options are fantastic. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5838 Apparently, the boss didn't like his suggestion for a Wall Street charity called Stock Aid. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5839 That'll teach him for putting decaf in the regular coffee pot 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5840 I feel like this new job is gonna put me in somewhat of a headlock 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5841 Management is going back to old school methods. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5842 Ed recently moved his portfolio from stocks to pillory. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5843 That's George, he put tuna in the microwave again. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5844 It's all about stocks and bonds here. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5845 By the way, whatever happened to bow ties? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5846 Annual bonus cancelled. No promotions or raises for five years. All because he messed up an email address and insulted the VP of employee morale. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5847 That broker has been trying to divest himself of those stocks for the last week. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5848 I can't remember whether it was for his making that market-tanking transaction, or for not making that market-tanking transaction. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5849 He took the stock option 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5850 The SEC is going into its old playbook about stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5851 They are real sticklers about watering your plants. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5852 Let's just say that George's annual review did not go as well as hoped! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5853 They caught him bundling one of the interns. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5854 No laughing matter, dear. Investigating has become a punishing occupation. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5855 If you yank on his tie, he sing "Take me out to the ball game" 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5856 He over-invested in stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5857 This company is old school. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5858 Bobby was stealing lunches from the break room fridge. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5859 You'll note that I removed the tip jar. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5860 I warned Chuck about playing video games on company time. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5861 I hear the pillory hampers the pain of a desk job 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5862 The company's trying to boost morale. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5863 Medicine just never be punitive. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5864 I told you not to wear that tie. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5865 We have a myriad of stock options available to shareholders. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5866 I told him not to ask for that raise. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5867 He must have asked for a raise. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5868 You should see how they punish under-performance in the bonds department. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5869 Madofff got off easier. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5870 Looks like stocks are going up. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5871 I heard it increases productivity. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5872 He didn't say 'may I?' 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5873 You heard correctly. The company DOES, in fact, have a very tortuous route for new employees to advance. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5874 "Rumor has it he called the boss 'Cindi' in an email". 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5875 Oh that? It's just part of the new corporate leadership training program. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5876 Actually, the punishment is just. I forgot to reorder the coffee. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5877 Jim's a third-time offender of our personal cell phone use policy. No one's above the law here, not even security. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5878 Thinking outside the box again, Murphy? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5879 You've come to see the dock? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5880 The lowest form of life.....pen thief. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5881 The stock options here are completely medieval. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5882 And that's Bill. He's in stocks and bondage. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5883 I see investment in the stock market is finally paying off. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5884 Office politics have gotten a little medieval. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5885 Another coffee break violator. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5886 It's reality art: he lost money in the market. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5887 That is Legal. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5888 Seen Frank's numbers lately? I can't tell which 'stockholder' is more torturous. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5889 I would have gone with a chestnut or amber colored tie. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5890 And he says he'll stay there until they validate his parking. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5891 The stock market must be down 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5892 Caption for Sep 4, 2017 issue: "Looks like I'm going to finish first again." 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5893 These big box stores are becoming a thing of the past. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5894 Boy, you should see what they do if you REALLY screw up! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5895 The reports are due at five and don’t you dare play the stocks card again, Jefferey. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5896 This is our new alternative to overdraft fees 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5897 This must be the stock market. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5898 Stocktaker 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5899 "Performance Reviews" at Burns and Butz LLC are seriously old school,...aren't they? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5900 Broker behavior inspired the SEC to resurrect earlier definitions of stocks and bonds. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5901 Off the record.... If stocks fall again, his head may fall, or roll, whatever..... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5902 Who said breaking the glass ceiling was easy? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5903 Guessing he didn't get the memo! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5904 He said "Innovation schminnovation!" 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5905 Don't ask HR for your employee stock option. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5906 Honestly, I sometimes think Roger's puritan work ethic is just his attempt to make me feel inadequate. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5907 That's where we put employees we catch talking about bitcoin. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5908 He deserved it for wearing that tie with those shoes. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5909 They call it corporate punishment 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5910 He over drew his account, so he won't do it again. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5911 His proposal to management in the suggestion box was not well received. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5912 Yep, it's Trump's new executive tie. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5913 It's the punishment for wearing his tie too long. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5914 Yeah, it was a little rough, but Tim's a lot less smug about his standing desk now. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5915 He was caught entering a grocery store. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5916 His crime? Public shaming on Facebook. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5917 1) It's a new approach to Mindfulness 2) His firm is very strict about checking private email at work. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5918 When you get timeout at work 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5919 At our investment meeting he kept insisting he wanted to get into stocks 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5920 Weren't you there last week? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5921 Wow! An interesting twist on time out! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5922 Nothing is free. Even the pens. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5923 He is multidimensional, and we cannot allow that! 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5924 I can't say I'm surprised. After last quarter's earnings golden handcuffs weren't really in the budget anymore. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5925 That's the bad employee of the month parking spot. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5926 I'm glad I didn't buy stocks in this company. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5927 It's the first prototype of the 'Square ' payment system 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5928 I like it. Very Postmodern. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5929 New punishment for violating our internet use policy is a bit harsh... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5930 No. Not a stockbroker. He's an under-performing hedge fund manager. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5931 He kept yelling out Boonk Gang in the office 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5932 They are really getting tough on people with weak passwords. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5933 At least he won't be doing handzies for awhile. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5934 He tried to sneak in and slip insurance flyers under the office doors. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5935 His stock just went up. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5936 We take sexual harassment allegations very seriously here. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5937 He went from bonds to stocks. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5938 He ate the boss's yogurt. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5939 That's Gary, he's a real Stock Symbol 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5940 It's just temporary until they repeal and replace Obamacare. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5941 There's also a Public Flogging in the courtyard at sundown 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5942 Be careful or that will happen to you, too. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5943 It's a trial of a new seating approach for the airlines. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5944 We have zero tolerance here for jest; suspect persons are locked, stocked, or barreled! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5945 We're told that the boss is practicing for a new We Are Farmer's commercial 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5946 In Soviet Russia, stocks buy you. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5947 Our way of getting managers to develop a thick skin. Go ahead and hurl an insult. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5948 Looks like Henry was late for work again. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5949 Don't ask for more stock. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5950 He used to trade in stocks 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5951 Our therapist told us to do activities as a couple. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5952 Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5953 Napping on the job. What a slacker. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5954 Stocks, obviously, are up. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5955 They really screen their employees. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5956 I told him not to hit "reply all" on an email again 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5957 Well, his stocks are locked in at a good return. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5958 the company didn't approve of his tweet, so it was either this or get fired 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5959 I guess Bill won't be joining us for lunch today. Too bad, we were going to go to his favorite restaurant, Slammers Steakhouse. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5960 AND ALL THAT BECAUSE HIS SHOES WEREN'T SHINED 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5961 We had an appointment. He said he was going to put me in stocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5962 Aww sheeet... babe check it... dude ain't pre-approved 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5963 He told the CEO that his thinking was archaic. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5964 Not insider trading...double dipping. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5965 He's the new guy from Wells Fargo. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5966 I hear it's a new alternative to a PIP. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5967 Well, yeh, tweeting from our missile bunker—and to the Pentagon? How about decapitating? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5968 In the corporate world, admitting that you voted for Hillary Clinton has its consequences. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5969 After the Millennial acquisition, the new boss found out he was still using a flip phone. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5970 he got caught up in that standing desk fad 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5971 He really should have tried harder in the team building exercise. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5972 Oh, HIM? He's a DREAMER from the Mayflower 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5973 All the job applicants are dead white males. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5974 Karen is two rooms over in bonds. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5975 When our shares drop, our CFO enters the stocks 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5976 That's where you end up when you wear a tie on Friday. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5977 Dunkaccino instead of Frappuccino. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5978 That's our new Vices President. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5979 "You kill the Joe you make so mo'!"- Terry Tate Office Linebacker 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5980 See, I told you! Employee wellness centers are so passé. Nothing like a hole-board to take a power nap at work! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5981 Wow! Are they strict. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5982 He didn't fulfill his sales quota. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5983 He didn't make his sales quota. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5984 This is no place for DREAMers 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5985 Stretching far left and far right a bit too far? 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5986 I`d heard the new P.C Rules were harsh. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5987 hello 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5988 Spare him no pity, the savage defiled a conference call with the unmuted sounds of his typing. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
5989 Well, he wanted to be the first to have a stand up desk. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5990 Discectomy/Schnectomy, right? Employees can use this for neck treatment. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5991 Well, I guess that wasn't such a good stock investment. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5992 They assembled his standing workstation incorrectly. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5993 That's Haversham from accounting. He used the phrase "the numbers just don't add up" once too often. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5994 He shouldn't have taken the stock option. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5995 The boss agreed with Jennings complaint that he's more than a "potted plant". 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
5996 Wow! Great modern art! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5997 The firm has zero tolerance for associates who take weekends off. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5998 He thought he'd try dealing in stocks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
5999 At least the Tweets recognized modern technology. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6000 Give it a rest Frank, you're not getting the corner office. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6001 Definitely get the overdraft protection. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6002 I'm in training to be a greeter at Walmart. Joe Pitts Washington, DC 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6003 Probably like to insider trade with anyone right about now. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6004 How are you liking the new disincentive stock option, Frank? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6005 "It's about time HR started working around here". 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6006 I don't know why everyone is complaining about the new standing desks. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6007 He should have participated in the team-building event! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6008 There is photo of the investment analyst of the month in a big gold frame in the foyer 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6009 His boss is a pirate 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6010 I know it's New York and Williams voted for Trump, but isn't this a bit extreme....? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6011 He says he's not leaving until he gets the job. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6012 He forgot to say 'spoiler alert.' 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6013 They said working here was cut throat, but really? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6014 We take our TPS reports seriously here. So make sure to file them correctly. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6015 That's what happens here when you go for the stock option. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6016 He took an hour to respond to his boss's email. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6017 I'm definitely passing on the stock options. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6018 The corporate culture here places a premium on openness and candor. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6019 I guess Stan didn't meet his quota again... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6020 Daisy. Daisy ! I'm still waiting for an answer. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6021 He must have complained about the rise in ATM fees. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6022 Our company has found very innovative ways to cut holes into wood. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6023 What a great way to loose some weight 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6024 The hazard of working at Trump Tower! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6025 That's Bernie, he's accused of using an extra paperclip... 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6026 He never laughs at his boss's jokes 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6027 He knew he was hired as a YES man. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6028 Another gambler who refused to diversify his portfolio. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6029 Remember when Robert said he was into stocks? I must admit I thought he meant investments. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6030 Yes, the cubicles are being downsized. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6031 He is with operational planning and is testing out their new device. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6032 I don't recommend the stocks option. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6033 This is what passes for a stock option nowadays. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6034 It was either this or a seminar on company workplace standards. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6035 This is what happens for not sharing his birthday cake. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6036 Our old standing desks are on closeout. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6037 Our workplace culture revolves around public humiliation and repentance. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6038 It's the new Bad Employee of the Week program. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6039 The artists here do original work. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6040 He hath criticized his supervisor. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6041 He made a stocks broker pun. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6042 Severance can be a B. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6043 He's a big believer in full investment in stock. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6044 He took the last donut from the break room. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6045 He forgot casual Friday. Twice. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6046 Good luck with the end of your shift, Steven! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6047 Our new CEO is an avowed Liberal... and very upset when he heard Jerry spreading his slogan; " The pillory for Hillary " 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6048 He grabbed one too many! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6049 As bail bondsmen, it strikes the right tone. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6050 Pick your poison. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6051 I'm glad I didn't apply for that stock analyst opening. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6052 Bob just wouldn't rest until he got a standing desk. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6053 Is that man stocking us? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6054 Long distance just isn't working anymore. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6055 I knew our MBA would end up in stocks 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6056 Wilbur never got the Tuesday Tie thing right. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6057 That's Reynaldo, our artist-in-residence. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6058 Jim was down on a few KPIs this quarter. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6059 This must be the holding area 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6060 It looks like the receptionists clone got out of hand again. We should paint his nails this time! 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6061 HR has its own stock option. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6062 F.Y.I, no tweeting during staff meetings. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6063 BILL NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND, THAT THE OFFICE COFFEE POT DOESN'T CLEAN ITSELF!!! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6064 Well, he did say he was getting into stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6065 Oh, he's tied up in stock. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6066 I told you investing in stocks was risky right now! 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6067 He filed his travel reimbursement form too late. It's a public shaming designed to teach the rest of us a lesson. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6068 They sure dress the concierges is weird outfits here around here... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6069 "For a publishing company on Early American Crime and Punishment, isn't that going a little TOO far?? 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6070 It really puts a face to the current stock crisis 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6071 You want to avoid "no shows" with the dental hygienist. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6072 He didn't meet the sales quota. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6073 Twitter's down. It's the best we could do. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6074 wats goin on over there 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6075 IT took email jail to a new level. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6076 He's lucky they didn't just fire him. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6077 He serves as a reminder of the punishment for speaking on condition of anonymity. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6078 And to think we would reminisce about cubicles 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6079 And here's our Employee of the Month for the Masochists' Society! 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6080 I heard this bank has the toughest early withdrawal penalties. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6081 -The interior designer used our private art collection. -I see. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6082 I hear he messed up the boss's Starbucks order. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6083 The employee contract did read: lock, stock, or barrel. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6084 Welcome to the company - oh, and make sure you book your flights with 2-weeks notice. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6085 I believe there is no fair punishment for hitting "Reply All." 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6086 new policy, standing room only for job applicants 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6087 Haven't you seen this yet? It's the latest social media cleanse... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6088 Wow! This bank must have really intense overdraft penalties... 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6089 He didn't follow the dress code .... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6090 We've taken our shaming offline. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6091 He said, "Please and thank you. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6092 I'm glad we put our differences between us. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6093 Remember, always be closing. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6094 We got tired of complaining clients 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6095 Ignore him, Honey. He said he was getting into stocks, but puns just aren't that funny. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6096 Good thing HR could only afford one of those after this year's budget cuts. -Sorry, Bill!- 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6097 The beatings stopped but millennium morale didn't improve. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6098 Someone should have warned him not to buy stock in this company. 1.0000 0.05407 19 19 0 0
6099 We caught him reheating fish in the microwave. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6100 I tried to warn him about violation of rule 3b. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6101 Welcome to the post-Arpaio pardon paradigm of impunity. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6102 He ignored the BCC policy 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6103 Now we always know where to get IT support 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6104 Stocks are up today. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6105 We need a stock trader, not a stalk traitor. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6106 It's not the tie. It's the polka dots. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6107 Burnt microwave popcorn repeat offender. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6108 It's the consultants new plan to increase productivity. It's called " Pain,Shame and gain." 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6109 It looks like the receptionists clone got out of hand again. We should paint his nails this time! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6110 He's just waiting for someone to ask about his stocks. 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6111 So now we're all more careful about hitting 'Reply All.' 1.0000 0.06063 17 17 0 0
6112 Stay away from stocks! 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6113 What did he do? He used the Cloud's name in vain. 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0
6114 Target practice at 5 1.0000 0.05717 18 18 0 0