Contest #583


Cartoon

583


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started 2017-09-12
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued 2017-09-25 (estimated)
Number of captions 6115
Number of responses 342411
Number of participants 11096


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 So much for the suggestion box being anonymous 2.0822 0.01159 4442 1158 1761 1523
1 Don't worry, Ken's in stocks. You'll be working in bonds. 2.0763 0.01290 3567 933 1429 1205
2 Whatever you do, don't take the stock option. 2.0733 0.01408 3123 860 1174 1089
3 Let's see him check his phone during a meeting now. 2.0587 0.01248 3750 992 1546 1212
4 It was a very hostile takeover. 2.0343 0.01216 4111 1181 1608 1322
5 I thought they were putting art in the lobby, not Art in the lobby. 1.9994 0.01373 3320 1040 1242 1038
6 It says very clearly that there are penalties for early withdrawal. 1.9992 0.01224 3967 1181 1608 1178
7 He chose the stock option. 1.9955 0.01356 3356 1042 1287 1027
8 We've found it more cost-effective than a motivational speaker. 1.9276 0.02034 1492 518 564 410
9 Tom actually believed that the CEO wanted his honest opinion. 1.9274 0.02040 1501 527 556 418
10 It's the only treatment for carpal tunnel syndrome that's still covered by our company's health plan. 1.9243 0.03416 555 202 193 160
11 Ted's in stocks. You'll be working primarily with bonds. 1.8981 0.01297 3554 1262 1392 900
12 Our employee retention program is unmatched in the industry. 1.8912 0.01990 1544 565 582 397
13 I'm liking the new policy on sexual harassment. 1.8839 0.01550 2610 987 939 684
14 Now he'll think twice before hitting "reply all." 1.8784 0.02196 1225 445 484 296
15 That's Dave. He's in stocks. 1.8721 0.01742 1915 694 772 449
16 I prefer bonds. With stocks it's too easy to get locked in. 1.8699 0.01686 2114 790 809 515
17 Yep, he's the one who hit "reply all". 1.8682 0.01370 3285 1258 1202 825
18 He hit "Reply All". 1.8635 0.01579 2520 987 890 643
19 So we finally figured out whose car had the Trump bumper sticker on it. 1.8414 0.01812 1993 835 639 519
20 It's uncanny how his eyes seem to follow you. 1.8170 0.02099 1426 602 483 341
21 That's who you'll be replacing. 1.8113 0.01774 1865 756 705 404
22 There's a substantial penalty for early withdrawals. 1.7852 0.01695 1997 833 760 404
23 Mondays are torture. 1.7804 0.02655 847 366 301 180
24 They do things a little differently at the New England branch. 1.7761 0.01818 1791 775 642 374
25 Mitch, for what it's worth, I actually loved that Facebook post. 1.7743 0.01934 1626 719 555 352
26 Around here, there IS such thing as a stupid question. 1.7726 0.01827 1746 752 639 355
27 You don't request a standing desk at a chair company. 1.7696 0.02478 994 444 335 215
28 He re-heated fish in the microwave. 1.7607 0.02593 886 395 308 183
29 We're not allowed to publicly shame people on social media anymore. 1.7537 0.02119 1291 572 465 254
30 This lobby has a nice Town Square feel. 1.7521 0.02652 835 374 294 167
31 Hey look. Marv has a new tie. 1.7464 0.02484 1053 509 302 242
32 Beats getting the axe. 1.7443 0.02503 966 447 319 200
33 That's Jensen. He's in stocks. 1.7386 0.01778 1836 835 646 355
34 Here at Colonial Life we take our name very seriously. 1.7346 0.02797 765 357 254 154
35 No reason. It just makes everyone else happy. 1.7310 0.04517 290 135 98 57
36 Did I mention the stock options? 1.7194 0.01893 1575 727 563 285
37 Apparently Fred misunderstood the stock option program. 1.7186 0.01988 1482 701 497 284
38 Scott got off easy, Sue has to wear an A. 1.7148 0.02784 782 380 245 157
39 We take break room refrigerator theft very seriously here. 1.7095 0.02672 740 334 287 119
40 They decided to make the scapegoat a permanent position. 1.7018 0.02474 996 496 301 199
41 The anti-groping device has decreased women's complaints by 90%. 1.6963 0.02855 675 319 242 114
42 Because we are a faith-based organization, we can get away with just about anything. 1.6928 0.02521 996 515 272 209
43 Watch how the eyes seem to follow you as you walk by. 1.6915 0.02260 1193 604 353 236
44 Would you call that cruel or just unusual? 1.6894 0.02348 953 444 361 148
45 We thought about removing it, but it's part of our history and culture. 1.6880 0.02787 811 421 222 168
46 Damn Auto Correct. I said 'corporate' punishment. 1.6867 0.02402 964 466 334 164
47 I see the Trump Administration has begun their new policy for White House reporters 1.6855 0.02907 674 331 224 119
48 The top flips so it doubles as a standing desk. 1.6841 0.02323 1089 546 341 202
49 Darryl was tired of being chained to his desk. 1.6840 0.02711 769 377 258 134
50 I'm very nervous about my upcoming performance review. 1.6724 0.02654 702 326 280 96
51 He used facts to prove the boss wrong. 1.6627 0.02799 762 399 221 142
52 We're a four-hundred-year-old organization. Old habits die hard. 1.6624 0.02603 776 379 280 117
53 And this is a place reserved especially for people who Reply All. 1.6623 0.02565 847 427 279 141
54 We're proud of our stock options for whistleblowers here. 1.6524 0.05841 164 84 53 27
55 Oh, that? It's our whistleblower bulletin board! 1.6482 0.02806 705 363 227 115
56 If it's your turn to bring the doughnuts, you bring the doughnuts. 1.6437 0.02801 682 347 231 104
57 They take performance reviews pretty seriously. 1.6407 0.02794 668 337 234 97
58 Nice tie, Herb. 1.6385 0.02921 650 340 205 105
59 "Still haven't figured out that standing desk Carl? 1.6359 0.03092 629 345 168 116
60 Okay. Now I'll show you the Bonds Department. 1.6355 0.02925 631 327 207 97
61 We do "employee of the month" a little differently around here. 1.6340 0.02973 623 327 197 99
62 He was in bonds, but now he's in stocks. 1.6316 0.02997 608 319 194 95
63 He replied all and attached a cat video. 1.6298 0.03145 570 305 171 94
64 That's Phil, he's in stocks. 1.6265 0.03033 581 304 190 87
65 It's definitely not the employee stock plan I was hoping for. 1.6261 0.02988 575 295 200 80
66 Jim must have parked in Mr. Peterson's spot again. 1.6250 0.03128 568 304 173 91
67 It's a nice place to work, but the stock options aren't that great. 1.6211 0.03046 549 283 191 75
68 No, we're not a union shop. Why? 1.6205 0.03246 527 284 159 84
69 He's a day traitor. 1.6014 0.03582 444 250 121 73
70 He told the boss that we were stuck in the middle ages 1.6009 0.03536 456 257 124 75
71 Casual Humiliation Fridays. 1.5973 0.03540 442 247 126 69
72 That tie with those shoes? 1.5968 0.03502 434 238 133 63
73 You should have seen him last week when he said he was all tied up. 1.5948 0.03437 427 229 142 56
74 One last thing- never take the CEO's parking spot. 1.5923 0.03567 417 230 127 60
75 Medieval Mondays. 1.5846 0.03655 390 216 120 54
76 He stole food from the office refrigerator. 1.5842 0.03623 392 216 123 53
77 We offered him a severance package, but he preferred stocks. 1.5842 0.03641 392 217 121 54
78 I hate medieval Mondays. 1.5810 0.03987 358 208 92 58
79 He had an idea. 1.5718 0.03918 355 205 97 53
80 I see our stocks are up. 1.5659 0.03956 334 191 97 46
81 Looks like our Salem branch didn't meet quota. 1.5636 0.03947 330 188 98 44
82 Neville came in last for employee of the month. 1.5623 0.04027 329 191 91 47
83 Never noticed what tiny hands he has. 1.5617 0.04281 324 198 70 56
84 Actually, nothing at all. It's just his turn. 1.5559 0.04038 313 180 92 41
85 We're getting lunch, want us to bring anything back to throw at you? 1.5556 0.04463 270 159 72 39
86 He exercised his stock option. 1.5552 0.04140 308 180 85 43
87 Oh, that's Todd. He microwaved fish in the lunch room. 1.5548 0.04195 310 184 80 46
88 Nice tie, Fred! 1.5548 0.03912 310 173 102 35
89 Company bylaws were written in 1640. 1.5547 0.04499 247 141 75 31
90 He should have gone into bonds. 1.5541 0.04299 305 184 73 48
91 He forgot his PIN for the tenth time. 1.5517 0.05948 145 84 42 19
92 He did well in bonds but, he has always had trouble with stocks. 1.5507 0.04022 296 167 95 34
93 Don't feel sorry for him. He gets to miss this morning's staff meeting. 1.5503 0.03974 298 167 98 33
94 I don't care what they say, don't put anything in the suggestion box. 1.5495 0.04167 293 170 85 38
95 Yeah, but that's not so bad. Sara in accounting is fighting a witchcraft charge. 1.5458 0.04604 262 159 63 40
96 No wonder he's not answering my emails. 1.5442 0.04039 283 159 94 30
97 That's actually an alternative to attending staff meetings, and one of the most popular benefits we offer. 1.5439 0.04228 285 167 81 37
98 I heard he demanded a stock option. 1.5426 0.04292 282 167 77 38
99 His family have been pillories of their communities for generations. 1.5344 0.04479 262 158 68 36
100 They say it's healthier than sitting 1.5344 0.04347 262 154 76 32
101 When the new boss says she'll go medieval on you, she means it. 1.5344 0.04347 262 154 76 32
102 It's the only way to keep him from tweeting. 1.5326 0.04558 261 160 63 38
103 He lost the Salem account. 1.5322 0.04751 233 141 60 32
104 Office fridge thief. Got off easy. 1.5312 0.04247 256 147 82 27
105 Oh, yeah; and NEVER park in the boss's spot! 1.5310 0.04115 258 145 89 24
106 Corporate is watching too much Game of Thrones, if you ask me. 1.5296 0.04533 253 153 66 34
107 No bonds. Just stocks. 1.5280 0.04504 250 150 68 32
108 Oh, that's just Fred. He's posing for a stock photo. 1.5261 0.04298 249 144 79 26
109 We treat everyone the same here. Except Larry. 1.5246 0.04662 244 150 60 34
110 We're moving more clients into stocks. 1.5228 0.04670 241 148 60 33
111 Ted, it's been two weeks. Just pay for the locksmith. 1.5228 0.04595 241 146 64 31
112 Now I'm glad I declined the stock options. 1.5210 0.04562 238 143 66 29
113 He was the sales rep for the Salem, Massachusetts region. 1.5191 0.04645 235 143 62 30
114 Our customer retention is among the best in the business. 1.5191 0.04566 235 141 66 28
115 He asked the new boss when she's due. She isn't pregnant. 1.5191 0.04723 235 145 58 32
116 That said, hardly anyone checks email during meetings anymore. 1.5172 0.04361 232 134 76 22
117 We can now safely leave lunch in the fridge. 1.5172 0.04446 232 136 72 24
118 Honestly, what's more painful? The confinement or the endless litany of "stocks and bonds" puns. 1.5111 0.04719 225 138 59 28
119 He thought he was on mute during a conference call. 1.5091 0.04712 220 134 60 26
120 The stock options used to be better. 1.5090 0.04724 222 136 59 27
121 There really is a penalty for early withdrawal. 1.5070 0.05144 215 140 41 34
122 He was caught being ethical 1.5070 0.05016 215 137 47 31
123 Looks like, "Mr. Always Leaves the Coffee Pot Empty" finally got what he had coming. 1.5069 0.04716 217 132 60 25
124 He'll be glue-sticked and feathered at noon. 1.5068 0.04684 219 133 61 25
125 New stock boy? 1.5028 0.04908 179 105 58 16
126 He doesn't use the oxford comma. 1.5024 0.04897 209 130 53 26
127 This area is stocks. Next door is bonds. 1.5000 0.04705 206 124 61 21
128 Whaddya think ... Couples Therapy or Anger Management ??? 1.5000 0.05092 206 132 45 29
129 I have a hunch the audit isn't going so well. 1.5000 0.04903 206 128 53 25
130 It may be harsh, but missing pens and paper clips are down 40% 1.5000 0.06261 114 68 35 11
131 Notice how it's never upper management, no matter what they've done. 1.4976 0.04872 205 127 54 24
132 Removed a mattress tag. 1.4950 0.05073 202 129 46 27
133 He IS the Ombudsman... 1.4950 0.05024 202 128 48 26
134 He thought the Suggestion Box was anonymous 1.4940 0.05250 166 101 48 17
135 There actually are stupid questions. 1.4924 0.04914 197 122 53 22
136 We can also put you in bonds. 1.4923 0.05312 195 128 38 29
137 He chose it over the self-assessment. 1.4923 0.05004 195 122 50 23
138 As you can see, we offer a traditional stock option plan for our employees. 1.4896 0.05426 192 128 34 30
139 Ironic. He was August's Employee of the Month. 1.4896 0.05169 192 123 44 25
140 HR can answer any questions you have about our incentive program. 1.4896 0.04898 192 118 54 20
141 It's our new employee retention strategy. 1.4896 0.04728 192 115 60 17
142 I liked the fish tank better. 1.4896 0.05062 192 121 48 23
143 It can be bought on a ‘no-risk’ basis for teenage time-outs. 1.4896 0.05376 192 127 36 29
144 I don't know, something about Wells Fargo. 1.4869 0.05082 191 121 47 23
145 ...And he kept forwarding cat videos. 1.4869 0.05189 191 123 43 25
146 Never take the stock option if you're planning to quit. 1.4868 0.04897 189 116 54 19
147 He just had to ask about our stock options. 1.4868 0.05011 189 118 50 21
148 They caught him counting cards; now he counts people. 1.4868 0.05493 189 127 32 30
149 The plan is to take the same photo of him for 27 years. 1.4840 0.04858 188 115 55 18
150 He's "Bad Employee of the Month". 1.4837 0.04993 184 114 51 19
151 If this is what's really meant by stocks, I don't want to ask what's meant by "bonds 1.4837 0.05052 184 115 49 20
152 He won't be texting today! 1.4809 0.05189 183 117 44 22
153 They put up the Thanksgiving decorations earlier every year. 1.4809 0.05360 183 120 38 25
154 Just don't mention that the receptionist has no mouth. 1.4809 0.05416 183 121 36 26
155 It may seem harsh Carol but my sandwich clearly had my name on it 1.4775 0.05176 178 113 45 20
156 One last thing, don't ever mention the word "union". 1.4775 0.05237 178 114 43 21
157 I'm guessing installation art. 1.4775 0.04989 178 110 51 17
158 I heard he asked to exercise his stock options. 1.4775 0.04925 178 109 53 16
159 Yeah, he went for the stocks option. 1.4775 0.04860 178 108 55 15
160 People are choosing it over Millennial sensitivity training. 1.4775 0.05532 178 119 33 26
161 Looks like Steve put fish in the microwave again. 1.4773 0.05220 176 112 44 20
162 I see they've filled the vacancy on the board. 1.4746 0.06221 118 74 32 12
163 I heard the internship here was a little harsh. 1.4709 0.05112 172 108 47 17
164 They're really cracking down on parents that sell Girl Scout cookies at work. 1.4706 0.06081 136 89 30 17
165 You empty the pot, you make a fresh one. He knew the rules. 1.4706 0.05289 170 109 42 19
166 I'm running for coffee, Gary. Get you anything? 1.4706 0.05155 170 107 46 17
167 Deregulation really opened some doors for us. 1.4671 0.05747 167 114 28 25
168 Looks like Dave replied all again. 1.4667 0.05405 165 107 39 19
169 No, he's just really annoying. 1.4667 0.05405 165 107 39 19
170 Wait until you see what they've installed at the Bonds office entrance. 1.4667 0.05607 165 110 33 22
171 Employee of the month. 1.4634 0.05359 164 106 40 18
172 He has a restraining order. 1.4630 0.05264 162 103 43 16
173 It's part of the Robert Mueller collection. 1.4630 0.05478 162 106 37 19
174 So much for "There are no stupid ideas" here. 1.4596 0.05431 161 105 38 18
175 That's why I never put anything in the suggestion box! 1.4596 0.05359 161 104 40 17
176 He was voting on a caption contest at his desk. 1.4591 0.05765 159 108 29 22
177 On Fridays, the tie is optional. 1.4591 0.05765 159 108 29 22
178 Looks like Jason heated up fish in the microwave again 1.4591 0.05765 159 108 29 22
179 That reminds me: my student loan payment is due. 1.4591 0.05183 159 100 45 14
180 You know, working in stocks isn't as glamorous as it sounds. 1.4591 0.05554 159 105 35 19
181 That's nothing. Guess where they put the scarlet 'A'? 1.4586 0.05679 157 105 32 20
182 Our brokerage house handles both stocks and bondage. 1.4586 0.05679 157 105 32 20
183 It helps to inhibit whistle blowing 1.4586 0.05459 157 102 38 17
184 I'm guessing a man bun. 1.4586 0.05821 157 107 28 22
185 That reminds me, on the way back from lunch pick up some rotten fruit. 1.4586 0.05606 157 104 34 19
186 It was a very hostile takeover. 1.4586 0.05533 157 103 36 18
187 At least he's not in a cubicle. 1.4586 0.05383 157 101 40 16
188 It's been more effective than 'Employee of the Month' 1.4586 0.05606 157 104 34 19
189 It is best not to wave. 1.4586 0.05459 157 102 38 17
190 The stocks options are bad, but the severance package is truly gruesome. 1.4557 0.05650 158 106 32 20
191 Who says corporations can't show restraint? 1.4545 0.05535 154 101 36 17
192 Wells Fargo is really taking this mea culpa a bit too far. 1.4545 0.05300 154 98 42 14
193 He got off easy. She has to wear that scarlet 'A' around the office. 1.4545 0.05535 154 101 36 17
194 Ooooo.. artisanal punishments 1.4503 0.05534 151 99 36 16
195 But they've eliminated late fees. 1.4503 0.05614 151 100 34 17
196 That's really cruel punishment. Henry's iPhone is buzzing and he can't get to it. 1.4500 0.09028 60 40 13 7
197 His secretary is overjoyed. 1.4488 0.05990 127 83 31 13
198 It's supposed to be ergonomic. 1.4452 0.05237 146 92 43 11
199 oh...and don't monkey with the thermostat. 1.4452 0.05501 146 95 37 14
200 He got his password wrong three times. 1.4452 0.05670 146 97 33 16
201 Remember: if you didn't put it in the fridge, you don't get to eat it. Right, Harold? 1.4452 0.05414 146 94 39 13
202 I would have placed him closer to the door. That way he could greet visitors. 1.4444 0.05977 144 99 26 19
203 We put him in stocks, but a lot of our clients actually prefer bonds. 1.4444 0.05977 144 99 26 19
204 We've added the stocks option to boost retention. 1.4444 0.05977 144 99 26 19
205 Freedom of speech my ass... 1.4444 0.05556 144 94 36 14
206 I always thought he was in bonds. 1.4444 0.05467 144 93 38 13
207 The early version of our stand-up desk had a few design flaws. 1.4444 0.05556 144 94 36 14
208 HR manager trained in Salem. 1.4444 0.05467 144 93 38 13
209 He's in the employee stock plan. 1.4444 0.05100 144 89 46 9
210 Looks like Frank exercised his stock option. 1.4444 0.05100 144 89 46 9
211 Oh, that's Ted. His job is the one you're interviewing for right now. 1.4406 0.05581 143 94 35 14
212 Look Carl, you have the same tie! 1.4406 0.05121 143 89 45 9
213 Bad employee of the month. 1.4397 0.05727 141 94 32 15
214 We're mostly about stocks, but we do have a small pillory department. 1.4397 0.05547 141 92 36 13
215 Looks like somebody forgot their badge today. 1.4397 0.05547 141 92 36 13
216 One more week and he will make partner. 1.4359 0.05870 117 75 33 9
217 That's Jim. He's this week's stock pick. 1.4357 0.05664 140 93 33 14
218 Social media can’t compete with our shaming technology. 1.4357 0.05664 140 93 33 14
219 If you think stocks are scary, wait'll you see bonds. 1.4357 0.06016 140 97 25 18
220 He knew it was an entry-level position when he applied. 1.4357 0.05842 140 95 29 16
221 He thought the Confidential Employee Survey was confidential. 1.4357 0.05572 140 92 35 13
222 I see they've upped the penalty on early withdrawal. 1.4338 0.05783 136 91 31 14
223 I thought when he said working here was torture he was being dramatic. 1.4338 0.05592 136 89 35 12
224 With all the risks he in took in bonds I always knew he would end up in stocks 1.4338 0.05783 136 91 31 14
225 Looks like Jim hit Reply All to an announcement. 1.4338 0.05783 136 91 31 14
226 It seems that the stock for this company has just gone public. 1.4338 0.05688 136 90 33 13
227 I applied for that job, dammit. 1.4338 0.05877 136 92 29 15
228 It's on loan from our Salem branch. 1.4338 0.05688 136 90 33 13
229 He heated up fish in the microwave. Well deserved if you ask me. 1.4296 0.05998 135 93 26 16
230 Oh, he's the EPA employee of the month. 1.4286 0.05877 105 66 33 6
231 He's looks better in walnut. 1.4275 0.05422 131 84 38 9
232 It's underperformance art. 1.4275 0.05634 131 86 34 11
233 In a week, you won't even notice him. 1.4275 0.05634 131 86 34 11
234 Make sure to read the fine print on the stock options. 1.4275 0.05634 131 86 34 11
235 This company seems fantastic! Can we just go over your three strike policy one more time though? 1.4275 0.05634 131 86 34 11
236 He spoiled Game of Thrones last week. 1.4275 0.05939 131 89 28 14
237 It's creepy how his eyes seem to follow you. 1.4275 0.06037 131 90 26 15
238 Throwback Thursday. 1.4228 0.06000 123 83 28 12
239 Yes, he's the guy who asked "Why are we here" at that meeting yesterday. 1.4219 0.05828 128 86 30 12
240 The CEO feels more empowered since the Hobby Lobby decision. 1.4216 0.06600 102 69 23 10
241 He was using emojis in Subject lines. 1.4206 0.05674 126 83 33 10
242 He gets in that voluntarily after his sixth mocha latte. 1.4206 0.06208 126 88 23 15
243 How else do you get through to someone who microwaves fish in the break room? 1.4206 0.06105 126 87 25 14
244 HR is trying for more voluntary retirements. 1.4206 0.06208 126 88 23 15
245 Why don't they just bully him online? 1.4206 0.05785 126 84 31 11
246 It's touted as being the best way to break your cell phone habit. 1.4200 0.06541 100 67 24 9
247 The stoning will take place after lunch, if you're free. 1.4160 0.05586 125 82 34 9
248 It's a fairly tough interview process. 1.4160 0.05586 125 82 34 9
249 He entered the wrong password three times. 1.4160 0.05923 125 85 28 12
250 He's never missed a day of work. 1.4132 0.05946 121 82 28 11
251 It's better than being chained to his desk. 1.4132 0.06061 121 83 26 12
252 Suddenly "employee stock option" doesn't sound so attractive. 1.4132 0.06284 121 85 22 14
253 That's what happens when you don't read the fine print about 'stock options'. 1.4083 0.06317 120 85 21 14
254 Who is the laughing stock now! 1.4083 0.05976 120 82 27 11
255 Oh, that's Lou. He's been sending company emails out in all caps. 1.4083 0.05976 120 82 27 11
256 Put it this way: I'd keep your thoughts on the open floor plan to yourself. 1.4083 0.05857 120 81 29 10
257 Meet your sales goal each month and you have nothing to worry about. 1.4083 0.05487 120 78 35 7
258 Have a nice day. 1.4083 0.05976 120 82 27 11
259 Just believe me: you don't want to use Comic Sans in a PowerPoint presentation. Not here. 1.4083 0.06206 120 84 23 13
260 He's an apprentice in Donald Trump's PRESS SECRETARY JOB program. 1.4083 0.06206 120 84 23 13
261 He hit Reply All to the spam email. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
262 Oh, and when it's your day to bring doughnuts.....don't forget. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
263 Ignore him. Don't give him the attention he desperately wants. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
264 Don't look at him, that's what he wants! 1.4068 0.06165 118 82 24 12
265 Well, the boss did say he wanted to return to the virtues of the founding fathers. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
266 The Board did say they were interested in old world values. 1.4068 0.05802 118 79 30 9
267 It's grown up time out. 1.4052 0.05334 116 74 37 5
268 How did he tie his tie like that? 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
269 Mistakenly hit reply all. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
270 Frank's attending our mandatory sexual harassment seminar. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
271 We call this "casualty Friday." 1.4052 0.05608 116 76 33 7
272 HR used to handle these situations, but with downsizing... 1.4052 0.05869 116 78 29 9
273 Oh and stealing office supplies is really frowned on here. 1.4052 0.05740 116 77 31 8
274 He's in our stocks and bondage department. 1.4035 0.06319 114 80 22 12
275 Welcome to our Colonial Williamsburg office. 1.4035 0.06195 114 79 24 11
276 They're phasing Matt out of stocks and bondage. 1.4035 0.06441 114 81 20 13
277 He laughed at Jeff Sessions. 1.4035 0.06441 114 81 20 13
278 Someone didn't read the memo on the Oxford Comma. 1.4035 0.05807 114 76 30 8
279 He should have gone into bonds. 1.4035 0.06677 114 83 16 15
280 He only gave 109 percent. 1.4035 0.05807 114 76 30 8
281 Man, I'm going to miss the interns when they're gone. 1.4035 0.05533 114 74 34 6
282 He taught his kids cursive 1.4035 0.06677 114 83 16 15
283 Looks like the stocks are back up. 1.4035 0.06677 114 83 16 15
284 He asked the receptionist "Working hard or hardly working?" just one time too many. 1.4035 0.06195 114 79 24 11
285 He'll never 'Reply All' again! 1.4035 0.06319 114 80 22 12
286 He took the executive stock option. 1.3982 0.05413 113 73 35 5
287 The reality of our overcrowded prisons has finally sunk in. 1.3964 0.05320 111 71 36 4
288 The boss says that next week we're doing something called "The Lottery." 1.3964 0.06435 111 79 20 12
289 That's the dude who keeps replying all. 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
290 He pushed all the buttons in the elevator. 1.3964 0.06306 111 78 22 11
291 Try earning 80 cents on the dollar. Then we'll talk indignity. 1.3964 0.06435 111 79 20 12
292 Sometimes the old ways are the best 1.3964 0.06435 111 79 20 12
293 Remember when behavior at an office party really had no consequences? 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
294 I forgot to mention we don't have an HR department yet. 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
295 Just letting him go would have sent the wrong message. 1.3964 0.05904 111 75 28 8
296 Don't you have that tie? 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
297 Next time bring your own yogurt. 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
298 He had the gall to suggest we aren't tolerant and inclusive here at Google. 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
299 He didn't like "Hamilton". 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
300 He took the stock option 1.3945 0.05976 109 74 27 8
301 At least it's not Wells Fargo. 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
302 He's testing out the new seating arrangements for economy air." 1.3925 0.06739 107 78 16 13
303 Wasn't there a plant there before? 1.3925 0.05751 107 71 30 6
304 Isn't that the same tie he wore yesterday? 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
305 He created the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
306 Not surprisingly, productivity is up 30%. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
307 Ixnay onway the 'equal aypay' alk-tay. 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
308 We're old school. 1.3925 0.05902 107 72 28 7
309 I heard that he got caught reading "Dilbert". 1.3925 0.05751 107 71 30 6
310 No pressure, but that's me if you don't sign. 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
311 He used Reply All. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
312 He lost the bathroom key. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
313 I was chained to my desk last week. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
314 It's the part of Frank-Dodd Act that the bankers are trying hardest to get rescinded. 1.3868 0.06508 106 76 19 11
315 I see they've posted the new Scapegoat of the Month 1.3861 0.05965 101 68 27 6
316 Fish in the microwave. 1.3846 0.06874 104 77 14 13
317 He was voted worst employee of the month. 1.3846 0.05685 104 69 30 5
318 At least the stocks are holding steady this week. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
319 You'll like working in this company because they never fire anybody, they only reprimand them. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
320 They say it helps get you ready for your stand up desk. 1.3846 0.05847 104 70 28 6
321 He sold flood insurance in Houston. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
322 Remind me not to microwave fish sticks in the break room. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
323 He microwaved fish. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
324 Psst, can one of you explain the Oxford comma? 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
325 Installation art can be intimidating sometimes. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
326 Don't ask for stock options. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
327 Hi, Bob, what did you do this time? 1.3824 0.06832 102 75 15 12
328 Yeah, I declined the new stock option, too. 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
329 We locked him into a three year contract. 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
330 Tried to speak truth to the Executive Suite. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
331 The latest management technique: Trump's employee of the year bonus. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
332 I'm in mergers & acquisitions, and he works in stocks. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
333 That's our pillory broker. Our stock broker is on the second floor. 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
334 I hope you contribute to the next potluck. 1.3800 0.05993 100 68 26 6
335 He's a reminder that you always have to read the "terms and conditions" before signing any contract. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
336 Corporate punishment 1.3800 0.06931 100 74 14 12
337 We pay him a fortune for this. It raises productivity in the enterprise! 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
338 It's a temporary suspension. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
339 He always wanted to work in stocks. 1.3800 0.05646 100 66 30 4
340 The decor is a bit too Puritan for my tastes. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
341 It's the latest initiative from our old school CEO: Stocks & Bondage. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
342 "Oh that? It's our Customer Service waiting area"! 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
343 Yes, this bank has severe penalties for early withdrawal. 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
344 I can't get use to him in that tie. 1.3800 0.06931 100 74 14 12
345 Excuse me, Sir. Your zipper's down. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
346 They don't write people up the way they used to. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
347 Looks like they were serious about using the copier for personal business. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
348 I mean, those frames with that tie? 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
349 Is that the new standing desk you were talking about? 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
350 This is stocks. You'll be over here in bonds. 1.3800 0.05822 100 67 28 5
351 I guess our stock has finally gone public. 1.3800 0.06784 100 73 16 11
352 There really are stupid questions. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
353 You were right, the art is shameful here. 1.3737 0.06823 99 73 15 11
354 On the flip side, our employee bonus plan is pretty generous. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
355 Wells Fargo signed him up for it. 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
356 His broker told him to get into stocks. 1.3711 0.07077 97 73 12 12
357 He complained about being chained to his desk. 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
358 We take employee retention seriously. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
359 What did you say the pre payment penalty was? 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
360 He hit "reply all" one time too many. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
361 The new HR Director came from Uber. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
362 I'm reconsidering the stock options. 1.3684 0.05996 95 65 25 5
363 Stocks always outperform bonds. 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
364 He didn't embrace the workplace culture of positivity and employee satisfaction. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
365 We have plenty of stock options. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
366 Fred is training to be White House Correspondent... 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
367 He never should have said that the last staff meeting was just plain torture. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
368 Fish in the microwave again, Johnson? 1.3684 0.06867 95 70 15 10
369 Fish in the microwave. 1.3684 0.05996 95 65 25 5
370 I'm surprised at how many interns sign up for the stock option without reading the fine print. 1.3684 0.06702 95 69 17 9
371 Well, so much for the "Don't hesitate to speak up if you don't agree with me" policy. 1.3673 0.06220 98 69 22 7
372 He ate the last doughnut. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
373 Most call it humiliation. We call it another day at work. 1.3656 0.07298 93 71 10 12
374 That reminds me, never take anyone's food from the staff fridge. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
375 You should probably pass if they offer stock options 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
376 That absolutely violates the principals of feng shui. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
377 The boss is reading Foucault again. 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
378 And bonds are down in the dungeon. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
379 Reply all again? 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
380 It's the only way to get them to stop saying "Win Win." 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
381 It"s the last step in the hiring process. 1.3656 0.07136 93 70 12 11
382 Glad to see stocks are up this morning. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
383 I thought they had abolished corporate punishment. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
384 His standing desk turned on him. 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
385 Last time Jenkins hits "Reply All". 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
386 I see they finally caught the break room refrigerator bandit. 1.3656 0.05879 93 63 26 4
387 And to think you scoffed at me when I said "let's read the Terms & Conditions." 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
388 It's motivation art. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
389 Looks like someone tried to work from home again. 1.3656 0.07298 93 71 10 12
390 We're trying to discourage people from hitting "reply all". 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
391 He used to be in bonds. Now he's in stocks. 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
392 He questioned our mission statement. 1.3656 0.07136 93 70 12 11
393 Wait 'til you see their bonds 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
394 ...And that's what happens when you Reply All. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
395 ... paid leave, 401K, medical, dental, and of course there's a stock option. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
396 ...and over there is Kai, he microwaved fish in the breakroom yesterday. 1.3656 0.06801 93 68 16 9
397 He told the truth at the last board meeting. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
398 It's our new personal fitness product. You improve your posture while atoning for your sins. 1.3600 0.07973 75 57 9 9
399 He won the caption contest. 1.3587 0.06294 92 65 21 6
400 He finds it hard to think outside the box. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
401 He prefers it to flogging... 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
402 I guess the numbers do matter 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
403 I don't get performance art. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
404 Oh, by the way, don't use the copier for any personal business. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
405 That reminds me. I have to call my broker. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
406 He kept using "reply all." 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
407 Hmm, looks like stocks are up. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
408 Here at EPA we don't tweet that climate change is real! 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
409 He hit 'Reply All' by mistake 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
410 We have a lobbyist on retainer. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
411 Remind me to check our Terms of Service when we get home. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
412 A wide tie would go better with that. 1.3523 0.05836 88 60 25 3
413 Looks like Bob fell for the old stocks option trick. 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
414 Our company has very traditional values. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
415 On Fridays he's allowed to remove his tie. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
416 I think you'll find our HR policies to be tough but fair. 1.3523 0.06056 88 61 23 4
417 Oh, yes, I forgot: billable hours need to be submitted every Friday by noon. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
418 Think before you tweet. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
419 That's Richardson. He hit "reply all" one time too many. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
420 He burned popcorn. The last guy microwaved salmon. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
421 I see the company is providing stock options. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
422 Ask him. He has to tell you. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
423 Look's like Bob talked to the press again. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
424 We call it Underperformance Art. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
425 Who thought the 16th century would provide a very effective cure for constantly checking your iPhone? 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
426 "Reheated fish in the office microwave". 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
427 He'll never 'Reply All' again! 1.3488 0.07166 86 65 12 9
428 They're serious about not stealing people's food from the fridge. 1.3488 0.05910 86 59 24 3
429 It's voluntary. And there's a waiting list. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
430 Oh, no. It’s empathy training week again. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
431 What a great looking tie.... 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
432 Needless to say, Corporate's clamped down on turnover with their new employee stocks option. 1.3452 0.06879 84 62 15 7
433 Our H.R. director is a history buff. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
434 It doesn't give me the joy that I expected. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
435 I miss the old standing desks 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
436 I see Artman decided to exercise his stock options. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
437 We found an inverse correlation between time spent in the pillory and usage of words like "synergy" and "paradigm". 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
438 Oh there's still a late payment penalty, just not a fee. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
439 Looks like our merger with Penn & Teller is complete. 1.3415 0.07407 82 63 10 9
440 I told you it was a company founded on traditional values. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
441 That's Morty. He's in stocks. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
442 Looks like somebody won't be emailing us his lame caption contest entries anymore. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
443 I'm thinking the tie is a clip on. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
444 Looks like Jim went over budget again. 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
445 It's part of our new employee disincentive program. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
446 I guess he didn't read the fine print about the stocks. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
447 How's the standing desk working out, Bob? 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
448 He opened 3,000 new checking accounts for customers of this branch alone. I believe he'll be in the headquarters lobby next week. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
449 I guess they are really holding him to that locked-in rate 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
450 They find it more effective than "Employee of the Month" 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
451 He won't be taking any more pens from work home after this. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
452 Wow, I guess they really do pay attention to the employee surveys! 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
453 I don't think this was the kind of stock option he had in mind. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
454 I see stocks are up. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
455 I warned him that his short position in stocks would be painful. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
456 It's a harsh reminder to think twice before hitting "Reply All". 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
457 "He's in stocks", said everyone who entered the cartoon caption contest this week. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
458 "Nice Tie". 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
459 He thought he was taking the stock option. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
460 I understand it's for an Oxford comma in the subject line. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
461 He ate four donuts at our Monday morning meeting. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
462 He's trying to spend less time on his phone. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
463 The tweet has since been deleted but apparently it was pretty bad. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
464 I heard that he cooked fish in the break room microwave. They went too easy on him, if you ask me. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
465 I don't get the attraction of the new standing desks. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
466 As you'll see in the employee handbook, we discourage the use of "Reply All" on work emails. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
467 Shoot. Did I do my timesheets? 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
468 Looks like our stocks are up today. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
469 We're heading out for coffee. Get you anything? 1.3333 0.07244 81 62 11 8
470 I guess employee of the month doesn't mean what it used to. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
471 Looks like he misunderstood when I told him stocks are better than bonds 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
472 Looks like someone didn't share in our team-based goal of inclusion and mutual support in the workplace. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
473 We hired you to take his position. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
474 I thought that tie was out of stock. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
475 I still think the Employee-of-the-Month poster was more motivating. 1.3291 0.05899 79 55 22 2
476 Oh. That's called 'Standing Stock Still'. It's on loan from MOMA. 1.3291 0.07795 79 63 6 10
477 He didn't want to be chained to his desk. 1.3291 0.07367 79 61 10 8
478 We've found it more effective than Employee of the Week. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
479 Not the kind of stock option I was thinking of here. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
480 She says she has a sense of humor but when he rhymed Hillary with pillory... 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
481 The penalty for early withdrawal is a little harsh. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
482 He wasn't specific enough about his standing desk request. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
483 It's a clip-on. 1.3291 0.07367 79 61 10 8
484 He came in because he was tired of being placed on hold. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
485 Yeah, but he is raking in the OT. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
486 Look who's in time-out now. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
487 It's Medieval Awareness Day 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
488 Perhaps office culture has gotten a little too puritanical. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
489 I see Dave farted in the elevator again. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
490 I see my idea of having cameras in the copier room is already paying off. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
491 Our employee-retention program is best-in-class, including a unique stock option plan. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
492 Forgot his password 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
493 He used password as his password. 1.3247 0.07265 77 59 11 7
494 He clicked reply all. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
495 Looks like someone's got a case of the 1500s. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
496 He was right after all. Stocks did go up. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
497 Him? He's Walter Wilson from Stocks and Bondage. 1.3200 0.07631 75 59 8 8
498 All I know is he broke the copier two weeks in a row. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
499 It's Wells Fargo, returning to its roots. 1.3200 0.07631 75 59 8 8
500 I preferred the abstract art you could interpret any way you wanted. 1.3200 0.06051 75 53 20 2
501 His tie is certainly a distraction. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
502 He got more Twitter followers than the boss. 1.3200 0.06051 75 53 20 2
503 that client wanted to be put in a very secure stock 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
504 That's odd. I thought he was in bonds. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
505 Lost 400 million yesterday on the foreign exchange desk. It won't happen again. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
506 He said he was getting into stocks. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
507 We are encouraged to yank the tie. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
508 He should switch to bonds. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
509 Do you mind if I ask you where bought that tie? 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
510 Trump's last Chief of Staff. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
511 They're serious about not hitting "Reply All." 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
512 And to our left, the Whistleblower of the Month. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
513 He always exaggerates -- he told me his hands were tied. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
514 Texting Aversion Therapy 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
515 I guess Frank won't be joining us for lunch today! 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
516 They say shunning didn't work. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
517 He was caught reading The Art of the Deal 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
518 He used to be in Bonds but now he's in Stocks. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
519 Frank wasn't very clear about his employee stock options in his contract. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
520 Harold's in stocks. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
521 His online dating profile says he's in stocks. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
522 Lucky bastard. The Fire Marshall denied a permit for the stake burning. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
523 So, latte with a straw for you, Phill? 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
524 Reply All. 1.3200 0.07631 75 59 8 8
525 Our nondisclosure agreement is pretty effective. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
526 That's the guy that farted in the elevator.. 1.3200 0.07631 75 59 8 8
527 He's into stocks and bondage. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
528 Now you see why I opted out of the company stock plan. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
529 He was in bonds, but now he's in stocks. 1.3200 0.07391 75 58 10 7
530 "Psst! Over here... scratch my nose! 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
531 I guess someone does read the suggestion box after all. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
532 You DID mute your cellphone, right? 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
533 He finished the coffee and didn't start a fresh pot. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
534 Supposedly, his passwords are lacking in non-alphanumeric characters. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
535 As you can see, our employee stock program isn't always an option. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
536 I guess that's part of the new restrictions on lobbyists. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
537 What's that tie say, "Make America Great Again!? 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
538 He spoiled the ending of Game of Thrones. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
539 Looks like stocks are up again this week. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
540 What's old is new again! 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
541 He misunderstood the stocks option. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
542 Yes, the stock plan is a little restrictive 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
543 I just hate conceptual art. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
544 Well it wasn't for not wearing a tie. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
545 It discourages bank employees from opening unauthorized accounts. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
546 Trump Tower: Week 33 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
547 I'm not sure about our new HR director. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
548 Don't screw up here. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
549 I think I'll pass on the stock options here. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
550 That's what you get for microwaving fish in the lunch room. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
551 Not the employee art show again. 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
552 Burned popcorn in the microwave. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
553 I guess he signed up for the new stocks option plan. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
554 He's a Trump Tower greeter. 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
555 Well, it's not prison but I guess it's a step towards corporate responsibility. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
556 When he opted for stock options, he should have read the fine print. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
557 The teak wood is a nice touch. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
558 It's like the subway -- don't make eye contact. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
559 If they offer you stock options - don't take them 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
560 The tie makes it, don't you think? 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
561 He wasn't a team player. Are you a team player? 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
562 I like the old State Department. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
563 He complimented some woman's haircut. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
564 I liked it better when they would just hang the exhibits 1.3151 0.07773 73 58 7 8
565 The compliance department found online shaming ineffective. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
566 Good morning, Bob. How's it hangin'? 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
567 I liked it better when "employee of the month" was just a picture 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
568 We offer a variety of stock options. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
569 He didn't have an appointment. 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
570 Bill is the head of our company's board. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
571 Oh, he's a part of the board. 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
572 He told old man Winthrop he wanted a stock option during his annual review. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
573 A stark reminder of the careless use of "Reply to All". 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
574 oh that reminds me, make sure you have your ID badge visible at all times. 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
575 We're all worried about the market, Dave, but technically that's a pillory. 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
576 There aren't many mascot options for a stock company. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
577 I'm glad I didn't take the stocks option. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
578 Say what you like about the president but you can't deny stocks are up again. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
579 I liked the large potted plant better. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
580 Human Resources is trying a new public shaming policy. 1.3151 0.07773 73 58 7 8
581 It's our way of treating sexual harassment 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
582 Make sure you read the fine print on the employee stock plan. 1.3125 0.06761 48 33 15 0
583 Do not take office supplies home with you. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
584 Now that's a real stock broker! 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
585 Replied to all. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
586 That's Johnson. His projections were way off. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
587 His online dating profile said he was in stocks. 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
588 One too many 'reply all's 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
589 I know they call it a 'hostile takeover', but still... 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
590 'He leaked a White House story.' 1.3099 0.07663 71 56 8 7
591 He spoiled the Game of Thrones finale. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
592 Maybe I won't take the stock option. 1.3099 0.07663 71 56 8 7
593 If they ask you about stock options, just say no. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
594 It's interesting. But it's no Picasso. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
595 I see that Lewis brought up the subject of corporate ethics again. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
596 He went with the public stock option. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
597 I thought you said he was into bonds, not stocks. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
598 He rode the elevator down one floor. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
599 That's why we don't hit "reply all" 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
600 He has to do that for 5 minutes a day for losing $7 billion on the European tomato crop. 1.3099 0.07663 71 56 8 7
601 Josh mentioned he felt trapped in his current position. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
602 He's the head of the board. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
603 I see Smith forgot his login again. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
604 It's a trainer cubicle. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
605 He beat the boss at Golf. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
606 He asked for a standing desk. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
607 He won "The Apprentice: Plymouth Rock." 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
608 It was his third "Reply All." 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
609 We're trying a new employee retention program. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
610 We settled out of court 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
611 See, I told you that's what happens when you don't read the terms of agreement. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
612 It's part of the "Make America Great Again" plan. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
613 Is that Cole in your stocking? 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
614 He just wants his nose scratched. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
615 Oh, how nice, they finally replaced the Confederate soldier on horseback. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
616 I agree. His tie is too long. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
617 "Put your hands together for management" -- That was cruel, Mavis. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
618 But he used a private email server! 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
619 I know it looks excessive, but it did solve the "reply-all" problem. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
620 I guess he misunderstood when I advised him to get into stocks. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
621 The artist is calling that performance piece, "Make America Great Again." 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
622 So, you want to get together later? 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
623 Do NOT "reply all" 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
624 He used the wrong pronoun again. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
625 Bonds must be down the hall. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
626 Looks like someone finally got caught pinching lunches from the fridge. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
627 Looks like Bill used 'reply-all' again... 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
628 We will do anything to keep a customer. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
629 The golden handcuffs weren't working anymore. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
630 Actually, it was my idea. If you pull on his tie, he'll give you our current stock value. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
631 The boss doesn't get satire. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
632 It looked better in the catalog. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
633 Vetting is getting tougher. He's on the rack next. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
634 HE MISUNDERSTOOD WHEN THEY OFFERED HIM THE STOCK OPTION. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
635 Yeah, I always recommend bonds over stocks. 1.3043 0.07809 69 55 7 7
636 And the best part is they let us hit him whenever we want. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
637 He used Comic Sans. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
638 He always wanted to do standup. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
639 Another guy who hit "reply all" to a company-wide message again! 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
640 Things just aren't the same since Roger Ailes left. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
641 Sure, they lock in the interest rate, but those stocks aren't going anywhere. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
642 It's not a good time to get into stocks. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
643 It's for employees who should think more about thinking outside of the box. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
644 'Round here, when you finish the coffee, you make more. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
645 Enough already, Harold. Just admit you're a witch. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
646 I told him to stop speaking truth to power 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
647 It's temporary, we have a new guy starting next week. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
648 Ever heard of the phrase, "No good deed goes unpunished"? 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
649 I thought Harold was in bonds. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
650 He kept hitting reply-all. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
651 No fees...ha I knew there was a catch 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
652 Corporate says they're going to leave him there until morale improves. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
653 This is corporal headquarters, after all. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
654 If they offer you stock options, make sure to read the fine print. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
655 Please don't feed the interns. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
656 Yeah, the stock options here are a real embarrassment. 1.3043 0.08077 69 56 5 8
657 Imagine if it had been a hostile takeover. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
658 Admitted he voted for Trump. 1.3043 0.07809 69 55 7 7
659 That's the last time he'll microwave fish at the office. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
660 It's one of those new 'standing desks.' 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
661 Sometimes low tech is better than high tech. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
662 That's just Art being art! 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
663 The stocks are up today 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
664 I preferred the Ficus Tree. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
665 Polka dot tie with chinos, i think he got off easy. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
666 microwaved fish three days in a row. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
667 Rule 1: Don't tweet about the boss. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
668 It may seem cruel, but he won't be asking about stock options anymore. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
669 We are getting deli. Want us to bring you something? 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
670 And here we have our work metaphor. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
671 He asked IT for a Mac 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
672 The CEO is from an old New England Puritan family. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
673 That's the new guy. I think he's in stocks. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
674 The tie seems redundant. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
675 I mean, If you ask me, he got off easy. He drank Barbara's half-and-half right out of the carton for goodness sakes. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
676 That's the Equifax rep. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
677 We got him from the Stock Exchange 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
678 I think maybe he chose the wrong stock option 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
679 He typed his emails with all caps. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
680 He's going through a Middle-Aged Crisis. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
681 I didn't use your goddamn cup Helen 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
682 I hate live art week. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
683 Strange, he doesn't look like a Dreamer. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
684 Walter has stolen his last pen. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
685 Plant-watering is unionized. He didn't know. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
686 Waiting for appointments here is borderline torture. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
687 Our stock options aren't very popular with employees. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
688 He's on hold. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
689 Yeah, these kids complain, but it's free experience. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
690 Look! You both have the same tie. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
691 Late payment penalty. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
692 He's not trans and used the wrong bathroom. 1.2985 0.07672 67 53 8 6
693 He actually used the word "covfefe" at the board meeting. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
694 We're really starting to feel the cutbacks. That used to be a guillotine. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
695 Don't let them fool you when they tell you about stock options. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
696 Everyone thinks we're stockbrokers. We MANUFACTURE stocks. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
697 That's what you get for being who you are... 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
698 That's so analogue. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
699 That's not even Equifax's real CEO. He hired a body double. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
700 He should've realized not every Undercover Boss reveal is going to be uplifting. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
701 I heard last year he went all out for bonds. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
702 I heard he put fish in the microwave. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
703 It replaced the Jefferson Davis statue 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
704 It's Bring Your Fetish to Work Day. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
705 It's a little retro, but he'll never microwave fish in the breakroom again. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
706 Managements really pushing the stocks option. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
707 No. This is the bonds department. Why do you ask? 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
708 Remember, we're only interested in bonds. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
709 We're in the right place. This obviously is the Human Resources department. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
710 He wouldn't stop replying-all. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
711 Nice Plants 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
712 I suppose a New York Stock Exchange joke would be a little too obvious? 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
713 Those stand up desks don't look very comfortable to me. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
714 Oh... that's Willoughby. He's in stocks... 1.2923 0.07821 65 52 7 6
715 The management wants to get back to the time when America was great . . . 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
716 Corporate, corporal, what is the difference? 1.2923 0.08123 65 53 5 7
717 He violated our open communication policy by being open. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
718 And when management asks for suggestions... don't. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
719 Only way to keep him off his damn cell phone. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
720 That's Bob from Accounting. He won S&M Employee of the Month. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
721 Wow, tough over-draft penalties. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
722 I never liked that tie. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
723 Since we put Pat in the pillory... employee handbook compliance has improved by 87.5%. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
724 We offer restricted stock options 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
725 He got the speaker and mute buttons confused. 1.2857 0.07977 63 51 6 6
726 He's our buy-and-hold stocks trader. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
727 I started out as a stock boy myself 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
728 It's just for show until there's a new POTUS in the White House. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
729 Actually, our greeters find it helps their posture 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
730 Enhanced interview techniques. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
731 They'll hang any old thing and call it art. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
732 It's on loan from MOMA. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
733 Finally! A fitting punishment for white-collar crime. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
734 He just returned from a North Korean intensive training seminar. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
735 It turned out he was a "no" man. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
736 His daddy is trying to limit the damage he can do. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
737 That's old Jonesey. He took the last cup of coffee and didn't brew a new pot. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
738 He's a scientist 1.2857 0.08292 63 52 4 7
739 His password didn't have a special character. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
740 I'll never understand ergonomics. 1.2857 0.07977 63 51 6 6
741 He took a knee during the national anthem. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
742 Hey Bob, is working in stocks everything you hoped it would be? 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
743 Jerry made the mistake of speaking out against the new standing desk policy. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
744 Used the ladies washroom AND left the seat up. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
745 Heard they even used his own desk. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
746 Well I guess we know who definitely isn't Employee of the Month! 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
747 That performance evaluation had to have sucked. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
748 Poor bastard. They caught him attending a Trump rally. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
749 His things will be out of your office by the time you start. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
750 The original is at MOMA. This reproduction isn't nearly as moving. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
751 Another failed hedge fund manager who couldn't keep out of stocks. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
752 He should not have said that women aren't as good as men in math 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
753 It's our latest anti-smoking product. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
754 I think I prefer the the old Emplyee of the Month program. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
755 He's in the Wells Fargo management trainee program. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
756 No matter how many times he wears it, I'll never get used to that skinny tie. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
757 The SEC's idea of slapping some wrists. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
758 Apparently, he defended the first amendment at this morning's Oval Office meeting. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
759 Everyone is super friendly but be sure to make a new pot of coffee if you take the last cup. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
760 Sad about Jacobson... he should have taken the early retirement package. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
761 HR says we can't yank his tie. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
762 Performance evaluations do need to have real consequences. 1.2857 0.05737 63 45 18 0
763 The boss asked for his honest opinion. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
764 He thought they said stock options. 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
765 You should see his parking space. 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
766 That's funny, I always thought he was in bonds... 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
767 Fitting perhaps...He did work in the stock market. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
768 They did call it an old-fashioned employee stock plan. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
769 It's part of our new loyalty program. 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
770 The Salem office is very puritanical. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
771 And I should probably add that our company has a fairly strict punctuality policy. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
772 Oh. He's in stocks & bonds. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
773 'And THAT"S what happens when you take other people's lunches from the staff refrigerator.' 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
774 We used the ancient design, and updated it with various ergonomic features. 1.2812 0.06087 64 47 16 1
775 This bank is very strict about paying back the loan 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
776 That reminds me. Did you get parking validated? 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
777 We're not your maids Rob, next time wash up your coffee cup. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
778 Oh, that's Mike from stocks and bonds. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
779 He could have gotten the axe. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
780 The new stock options aren't as attractive as they used to be. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
781 Everywhere you look it's Game of Thrones. 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
782 He kept saying "At the end of the day..." 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
783 He should have read the fine print before he went for the employee stock option. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
784 Looks like the stock is back up. 1.2812 0.07864 64 52 6 6
785 A leaker. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
786 Apparently he refused to use a standing desk. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
787 Not stocks. And a lot of people make that mistake. It's actually a pillory. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
788 Yeah, but you should see the bonds. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
789 Be sure to carefully review your stock release form. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
790 He was late to the employee appreciation luncheon. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
791 And at lunch, we have to stone him. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
792 Working here at the History Channel is exhilarating until you screw up. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
793 I tried to tell him the employee stock option was not such a great deal. 1.2787 0.08142 61 50 5 6
794 He had a choice of tie in or tie out. Big mistake. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
795 That's our CFO. We free him on days when the stock is up. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
796 He was in stocks before anyone else. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
797 They say he took a 61 minute lunch hour. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
798 He asked for feedback. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
799 For some reason Boss still thinks Johnson is a Witch. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
800 Worst employee of the month? 1.2787 0.05788 61 44 17 0
801 He asked his "secretary" to get him a cup of coffee. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
802 So I see, Bob decided to participate in the company's stock option. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
803 I thought it was stocks and bonds, not stocks and bondage. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
804 It may be art, but I still say it's cruel. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
805 Never tell anyone how you voted. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
806 That's actually a promotion. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
807 He went to his boss and demanded stock options. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
808 He asked once too often for a more visible position. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
809 Poor guy, he can't even text. 1.2787 0.08142 61 50 5 6
810 It’s voluntary. He’s comes here to unplug. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
811 He stole someone's lunch from the fridge. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
812 Oh, Jack replied all. 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
813 There was something fishy about his saying he was an expert in stocks. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
814 Don't worry Susan, that only happens if you can't pay back the loan 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
815 He asked if prescription drugs really needed to be priced so high. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
816 It's on loan from MOMA. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
817 He's being pilloried for rejecting the company's stocks. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
818 By the way, try not to be late on your first day. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
819 Stick with bonds. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
820 The company just started a new stock incentive plan. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
821 Just a binder, fortunately... You know what happens when they take a stapler. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
822 This is Stocks. Wait'll you see Bonds. 1.2742 0.08022 62 51 5 6
823 I guess 'stocks option' wasn't a typo, after all. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
824 He was told, 'your password must contain one upper case letter.' Didn't listen. 1.2742 0.07685 62 50 7 5
825 It's a phased retirement option. 1.2742 0.07685 62 50 7 5
826 Gil is the new head of our Stocks unit. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
827 I like a place with good old-fashioned values. 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
828 Another whistleblower. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
829 He threatened to unfollow POTUS on Twitter. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
830 "Can't they just say: 'you're fired' ". 1.2727 0.08823 44 35 6 3
831 He got tired of feeling chained to his post, so we found a new position for him. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
832 All I said was that he should think about getting into some stocks. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
833 Glad I didn’t win Employee of the Month. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
834 Oh, that's Fred. Don't make eye contact. All he does is complain about neck pain. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
835 I see stocks are back up. 1.2712 0.08315 59 49 4 6
836 The new HR director comes from our New England Office. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
837 These overdraft penalties are getting ridiculous. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
838 He refused to open fake accounts. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
839 I don't know what he was thinking. That tie does not go with oak. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
840 Ok, now lets find the guy who's in bonds. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
841 It's just the new guy on the block. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
842 He peed without lifting the toilet seat in the unisex bathroom. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
843 Our entire office now knows to be more careful about what we Tweet. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
844 I heard he voted Republican. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
845 Let's not forget to have our parking validated. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
846 I see we're relying on common stocks again. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
847 He said "Mister" instead of "President." 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
848 Well, looks like stocks are up again. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
849 Don't feel sorry for him. I know for a fact he also voted for Trump as well. 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
850 The company has strict rules on locking the key in the bathroom. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
851 I understand he said good morning to one of the secretaries and winked. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
852 You'll want to be sure you really understand the new employee stock option. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
853 You may want to pass on the stock options. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
854 I heard he entered the incorrect email password three times. 1.2712 0.07956 59 48 6 5
855 Oh yea...and don't ever park in the CEO's spot. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
856 I think I'll stick with bonds. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
857 The new boss is said to be old school. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
858 I liked the guillotine display much better. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
859 The Bond Department is more creative 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
860 Leon is showing such great restraint! 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
861 I guess stocks are down today. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
862 Ron's the new regional Vice President of Inhuman Resources. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
863 When I said to buy art for the building, I didn't mean Art Goldberg 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
864 Looks like Dan hit 'Reply All' again. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
865 It's a promotion for our stocks and bonds department. 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
866 I thought public shaming was online these days. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
867 He "replied-all" to a company-wide memo. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
868 Please... No stockholder jokes. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
869 Trump caught him telling the truth! 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
870 By the way, we don't talk about Trump or the Russian investigation around the here. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
871 I told him not to take the stock option. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
872 This standing desk fad is out of control. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
873 The bank sure wasn't lying about the penalty for late payments. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
874 We like to think of it as more of a stock incentive program. 1.2632 0.08498 57 48 3 6
875 Fred used the same password two days in a row. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
876 Yes, we're the first stocks-and-bondage company on Wall Street. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
877 How do you adjust the new standing desk? 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
878 Stocks or bondage? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
879 Our HR Department has decided to just skip all the pretense. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
880 Employee of the month. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
881 I believe your exact words were, "Just click 'Ok,' no one ever reads these." 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
882 Todd works well under pressure. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
883 Robert's wanted to work in stocks and bonds since grad school. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
884 They don't like to fire people here. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
885 His job is punishing. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
886 He's recently moved up from working in stocks. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
887 Just try turning it on and off before calling them this week - the IT guys are playing Dungeons and Dragons again. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
888 Glad to see The Paperclip Incident is handled properly. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
889 I see the company stocks are up again. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
890 Yeah, they finally found who was leaving the empty toilet paper rolls. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
891 He was heavily into stocks and bondage. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
892 He wore the same tie two days in a row. 1.2632 0.08121 57 47 5 5
893 Did I mention the stock options? 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
894 He exercised his stock option. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
895 In the old days they just chained you to your desk. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
896 How embarrassing - everyone knows the tip of the tie should just reach the bottom of the pillory. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
897 He's in for multiple offenses - ransacking other's lunch bags and ending every email with an emoji 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
898 He got into the wrong stocks. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
899 Another case of Reply All. 1.2632 0.08498 57 48 3 6
900 He's heavily invested in stocks. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
901 They finally caught the 4th floor fridge bandit. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
902 His boss overheard him saying she was stacked 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
903 Insider trading. He got the stocks. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
904 Looks like it really is the time to be in stocks. 1.2632 0.08498 57 48 3 6
905 Ohh; Don't forget to put your phone on silent. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
906 That's just Mr. Smithers. He's in "Stocks and Bondage". 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
907 We call it Feudal Friday. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
908 He didn't meet the quota 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
909 I find the vine-ripened rotten tomatoes stick better... 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
910 Here we do stocks, next door they're into bonds. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
911 We caught him using a flip phone. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
912 He wouldn't sign Trump's loyalty pledge. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
913 Mike decided to exercise his stock options. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
914 Jones has been into stocks for years 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
915 For a bank, they're pretty strict about overdrawing your account. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
916 He's the first recipient of the Not The Employee Of The Month Award. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
917 That's Jim, he's our stocks guy. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
918 Frank has always been the laughing stock of the office. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
919 He has to stop hitting 'Reply to all.' 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
920 Great art requires moral vision. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
921 He used the word "overtime." 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
922 I prefer bonds. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
923 I wonder how he got his tie on... 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
924 You've gotta watch your neck around here! 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
925 I always suspected Bob was a witch. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
926 He's our latest public stocks offering. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
927 Oh, he didn't do anything. It's just bad art. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
928 Guess Bob won't be resistance tweeting from his work computer again any time soon. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
929 That must be the new management stock option. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
930 Oh that? It's listed in your employment contract, under; "Stock-Options" 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
931 He voted for pillory. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
932 Must be Staff HumiliationWeek again 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
933 He thought "internment" meant he'd be an intern. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
934 He's a Luddite and was punished accordingly. 1.2632 0.08121 57 47 5 5
935 Gosh, looks like Bob missed the budget deadline. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
936 Obviously guilty of insider stocks trading and unlawful lobbying. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
937 He replied all 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
938 He wrote a memo about diversity. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
939 The company stock is holding steady today. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
940 He put everything in stocks. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
941 Say what you want, but employee productivity has improved. 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
942 Apparently he said "let them eat cake" at the holiday party. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
943 Yup, George got employee of the month. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
944 We might need to manage the optics of this. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
945 There's a very strict 'no pleats' policy. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
946 Talk over me in this meeting, and you're next, Roger. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
947 Oh, that's Phil. He works in Stocks & Bonds. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
948 He worked for Uber, Wells Fargo AND Equifax. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
949 He laughed during the confirmation hearing for the Attorney General. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
950 Ah, that explains the fire sale on rotten tomatoes in the company canteen. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
951 Must be the Monday morning cartoon contest 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
952 In Soviet Russia, stocks hold you. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
953 He fell for what they told us about posting employee suggestions. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
954 Our bonds provide more flexibility. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
955 Heating fish in the microwave....he deserves worse. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
956 You see Brian, this is what happens when you steal my lunch out of the office fridge. 1.2545 0.05928 55 41 14 0
957 The ducking stool was just too messy. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
958 He is an excellent motivational speaker. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
959 It's not that complicated, Phil. You finish a pot of coffee, you put on the next one. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
960 That reminds me, did we close the garage door? 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
961 Looks like they finally caught the sandwich thief. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
962 It's his own fault. He accepted the stock offer without reading the fine print. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
963 I'm not sure he knew what he was getting himself into when he answered our ad for a stock boy. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
964 He clicked 'Reply All' one too many times. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
965 They're finally doing something about people who heat up fish in the break room microwave. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
966 That sure puts a new spin on the idea of 'stock options.' 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
967 That's Kevin. He's our stock boy. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
968 This firm pillories like it is 1776. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
969 Is it just the way he's standing or is that an extra-long, skinny tie? 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
970 I know the boss recently figured out he's descended from King Edward I, but this is taking it too far. 1.2545 0.08295 55 46 4 5
971 Here at StockAid, we take a literal approach to marketing. Wait until you meet the branding team. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
972 I guess his stocks are performing well 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
973 Nobody picks stocks like Larry. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
974 Wow, I guess there really are severe penalties for early withdrawal from an IRA. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
975 Poor bastard's visitor pass expired. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
976 They checked his browser history. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
977 he's in Stocks and Bonds.. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
978 I just don't get Art these days. 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
979 "I think his tie goes great with the oak". 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
980 Maybe next time Bill makes a coffee run, he will remember to get one for the boss. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
981 It was either that or more corporate training 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
982 I see Sturdevant cooked fish in the microwave again. 1.2545 0.08295 55 46 4 5
983 Well, he said he was shifting more to stocks. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
984 I hear you can get them on Amazon. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
985 It's called a firewall for a reason, Todd! 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
986 Bet you're sorry you asked for a standing desk now, aren't you Jenkins? 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
987 He said it was preferable to termination and loss of benefits. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
988 Too big to flail 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
989 He ordered a gluten-free lunch for the monthly staff meeting. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
990 I hear he asked for a standing desk. 1.2500 0.07750 56 46 6 4
991 He's learning to keep his hands to himself. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
992 The golden handcuffs weren't enough to keep him here. 1.2500 0.07319 56 45 8 3
993 We have a real sick Employee-of-the-Month program. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
994 He complained about the boss on his Facebook page. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
995 Employee of the month wasn't sufficiently motivating. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
996 You think that's bad, you should see the guy in bonds. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
997 He didn't contribute to the retirement gift, but signed the card. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
998 When the boss says to turn off your phone during a meeting, you turn off your phone. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
999 And bonds. He's into bonds too. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1000 I hear there is a new HR Manager. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1001 Bob was nice to a customer, I hear. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1002 That must be one of those "standing desks" that everyone has been talking about. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1003 It was either that for five lunch hours or a three hundred million dollar fine 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1004 Boy the penalty for early withdrawal is pretty severe at this bank 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
1005 Ignore him. He just does it to get sympathy. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1006 Some people would do anything to avoid lunch with the boss. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1007 He's the stock boy. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1008 He heated up fish in the microwave. Don't do that. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1009 Don't even think about texting during the meeting. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1010 Employee handbook mentioned something about a "company stocks plan" 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1011 Our Employee of the Month program is a bit different than yours. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1012 Looks like Ed forgot to grab his x-rated copies off the copy machine again... 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1013 Performance Art. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1014 Still going to take the last cup of coffee and not make a new pot, Jenkins? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1015 And over there's our poor performance art. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1016 HR is going back to basics. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1017 He "replied all" to every email. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1018 He asked for interest on his savings account. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1019 And you’ll be eligible for the employee stocks program. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1020 I guess he wasn't too big to fail after all. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1021 I hear he hit Reply All. 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
1022 Must be TBT. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1023 This office really frowns upon tardiness. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1024 Regulations are more stringent than ever before. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1025 Another modern art installation I don't understand. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1026 It was either that or a severance package. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1027 His name is "Robert Lee", so it just felt right. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1028 Oh, more likely than not, he's an actor, just one of those psych tests HR is always cooking up. Can't decide whether to say something. I don't want to look callous, but don't want to look like a softie either with that promotion in the works. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
1029 The coffee is for clients only. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1030 What do they do about out-of-style ties in your office? 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1031 Actually, I don’t think our no fish in the microwave policy goes far enough. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1032 It's one of our many stock options. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1033 It's part of our new HR mediation policy 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1034 Don't feel bad for him. He microwaved fish yesterday and burned his popcorn the day before that. 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
1035 Our office includes all the modern amenities, as well as some medieval shaming devices. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1036 I told him not to take the stock option. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1037 That's our company's stock option. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1038 Heated fish in the 5th floor microwave. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1039 HR is really stepping it up 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1040 Public humiliation. It's management's new "Face your fears" initiative. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1041 He microwaved fish I the lunch room. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1042 and definitely don't microwave fish in the break room 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1043 He ate the boss's yogurt AND heated fish in the microwave. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1044 I've heard he's a mole. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1045 I can remember when "Employee of the Month" was a badge of honor. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1046 Look, honey! That's the employee of the month! 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1047 It's one reason I went into bonds. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1048 Kushner is in more trouble than he realizes. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1049 He asked for a stock option. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1050 Not enough "likes" on the website this week, huh Greg? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1051 The early withdrawal penalties in this bank are draconian. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1052 Another transfer from our Salem office. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1053 We told the intern it's a retro pilates machine. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1054 That's Gregory, he's in stocks. Wait until you meet Jerry, who's in bonds. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1055 That tie is not doing anything for him. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1056 He's in stocks. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1057 And that's why we don't harass at the workplace. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1058 He said he wanted stock options. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1059 That's Barry from the stocksroom. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1060 I suppose you are wondering why we now have an open position at this firm... 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1061 oh fuck 1.2453 0.08478 53 45 3 5
1062 The other option is hanging around. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1063 In the Stocks and Bonds Dept., this is their idea of a two-week vacation. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
1064 That is what happens when you choose stocks over bonds. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1065 Easy choice: pillory stock or another meeting. 1.2453 0.06547 53 41 11 1
1066 Looks like Bob microwaved fish again. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
1067 I didn't realize Archer was so heavily invested in stocks. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
1068 See? A long tie does make a man look thinner. 1.2444 0.08502 45 37 5 3
1069 Sorry, our broker advised us to avoid stocks for now. 1.2407 0.07447 54 44 7 3
1070 Reclaimed wood is so trendy right now. 1.2391 0.07730 46 37 7 2
1071 He just exercised his stock option. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1072 Karen in HR witnessed him clapping as the plane landed. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1073 Probably not his happy place. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1074 Nothing good ever comes of an inter-office bromance. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1075 Seems appropriate for a stockbroker. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1076 Stocks can be a good thing, or they can be a bad thing... remember that. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1077 Last week he was Trump's chief of staff. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1078 We're just trying out some new machines for the fitness center. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1079 ... and this is the fixed income division, although Ed is still in stocks 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1080 He said I looked nice today. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1081 Non-performance art 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1082 Our new HR Manager is a Puritan. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1083 I think we should stick with bonds only. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1084 He sent a meme to the entire company. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1085 That's the other stock option. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1086 He's sure they're safer than bonds. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1087 In this economy you'd be a fool to go into stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1088 Their smoking cessation program is a bit cruel,but quite effecrive. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1089 HR's gone medieval. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1090 That must be the new stock boy 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1091 Now that's what you call "inside the square." 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1092 I told you I had a weird feeling about the new human resources manager. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1093 . . . Yes, but you should have seen his emails. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1094 And here we have our preferred stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1095 Aren't we supposed to throw vegetables at him? 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1096 It's always about "him." 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1097 We see the performance review as something from the Dark Ages 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1098 This isn’t what I envisioned when I heard about the new “employee of the week” program… 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1099 Bet he didn't expect that when he applied for the position in stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1100 We picked him up at the stock exchange. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
1101 When he started he was just a stockboy. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1102 I didn't think anybody would go for the new Stock Option Plan, but ... 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1103 We had a gallows but the board decided it was bad for recruitment. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
1104 Our guillotine factory named him the employee of the month. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1105 He adds historical gravitas to the workplace. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1106 Not surprising. Bannerman was overly fond of 'Reply All'. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1107 He's going through cell phone withdrawal. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1108 He was the one that hit reply all. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1109 Don't mind Richards. He refuses to follow the company on Facebook. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1110 Suddenly, stocks & bonds doesn't sound so sexy. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1111 He's our most productive employee. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1112 He serves at the pleasure of the president. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1113 It costs extra but it's worth it. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1114 He always said he was into stocks. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1115 khakis... 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1116 It's not real. There's one in every Trump property as a reminder to the employees. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1117 I see Wells Fargo is paying more attention to the suggestion box. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1118 The new guy looks like a good fit to me. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1119 He's the new stock boy. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1120 He burned popcorn again. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1121 That's Jeff. He works in stocks. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1122 Maybe now he'll stop leaving moldy sandwiches in the refrigerator. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1123 Looks like another sucker exercised his stock options 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1124 That's the IT guy. He gets stoned most lunch breaks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1125 Pull his tie and he will give you a stock tip. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1126 That's Greg. He's in stocks. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1127 This bank offers stock options! 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1128 They do offer stock options. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1129 That's Jim. He's in stocks and bondage. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1130 The feedback is not really anonymous. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1131 I guess that's what they meant by 'stocks are up under Trump.' 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1132 How do you like our living wall? 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1133 Is it art or is it company policy? 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1134 We used to use Facebook but it was just too cruel. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1135 Wow! Seems like only yesterday Tom was our 'Employee of the Month.' 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1136 They offered him a raise, but he said he preferred stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1137 What a shame to see Jim go from the stock market to the stockade. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1138 New CEO's tough. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1139 Well, they said there were penalties for early withdrawal 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1140 I'll be at the meeting in 20 lashes. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1141 I tried to put him into bonds, but he insisted. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1142 It has something to do with the company's insistence on Windsor ties." 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1143 He put recyclables in the trash. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1144 ...and we offer our own innovative "stock option" plan. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1145 It's the only way we can keep him from playing with his winkie. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1146 He's Employee of the Month for the Trump administration. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1147 He forgot to order the toner again. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1148 Fidget spinner. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1149 We think it gives our lobby a 'village square' feel. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1150 Actually it's the new 'stand up desk' from corporate. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1151 He kept using "reply all." 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1152 I told him he should stick to bonds. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1153 If you're uncomfortable, you may be better in bonds. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1154 Acquisitions. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1155 Yup, sexual harassment is down 25 percent. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1156 That's Smithers. Every Tuesday. We don't know why. 1.2353 0.05999 51 39 12 0
1157 That tie doesn't go with his stocks. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1158 We think we've pretty well captured our target demographic. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1159 His broker put him in the wrong stocks. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1160 Dave has a different take on Casual Friday 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1161 It never fails to amaze me what is considered art these days. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1162 Oh, oh. I think we'd better sign in. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1163 The HR Dept is now handling disciplinary problems in house. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1164 Trust me, venture capital punishment is much worse. 1.2353 0.08207 51 43 4 4
1165 He reminds us that eternal blame avoidance is the price of liberty. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1166 Not too bad if he's on the clock. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1167 Obviously, the stocks are on this floor so the bonds must be upstairs. 1.2353 0.06620 51 40 10 1
1168 He hit 'Reply All' one too many times. 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1169 Read the fine print! 1.2353 0.08672 51 44 2 5
1170 Wells Fargo did the same thing to their CEO! 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
1171 Don't choose the stock option. 1.2353 0.07715 51 42 6 3
1172 You just don't park in the CEO's spot. 1.2326 0.06519 43 33 10 0
1173 He's the last man standing in the publish and perish non-tenured hall of terror 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
1174 When he started his internship he had to chose between stocks and bonds 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
1175 Some things are never out of fashion. 1.2250 0.06687 40 31 9 0
1176 Why the tie...? 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1177 Product placement. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1178 Stock options aren't what they used to be. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1179 I told you stocks would go up this quarter. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
1180 Hendley provides stock answers to frequently asked questions. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1181 It's our employee stocks incentive. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1182 I warned him about microwaving fish in the breakroom. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1183 I see they finally caught the refrigerator thief. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1184 Apparently there are new stock options. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1185 It's the only way we could stop him tweeting in meetings. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1186 His stocks picks are abysmal. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1187 He put fish in the microwave. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1188 That's Harry...he's in charge of stocks and bondage. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1189 Is it intern season already? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1190 Come on. It's the lobby of Trump Tower. What do you expect? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1191 ...and, yes, stock options are available! 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1192 His punishment for a long necktie and small hands. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
1193 Obviously Not the Employee of the week. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1194 Last guy to use the suggestion box. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1195 They have a tough whistleblower policy! 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1196 I don't know about you, but this new "alternative" artwork in the lobby is starting to freak me out. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1197 He really wanted to go full-time. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1198 That's Frank. He spoiled 'Game of Thrones.' 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1199 I guess this is the stocks and bondage department. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1200 Last quarter it was bonds. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
1201 I hear it's on loan from the Whitney. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1202 Casual Friday is tomorrow, Bob. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1203 Ma'am, bonds and commodities are this way. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1204 I thought you said this company was into stocks. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1205 His stock wasn't optional. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1206 I understand this business subscribes to old fashioned values. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1207 That tie really brings out his eyes. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1208 They were going to fire him, but this seemed more fitting. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1209 Isn't that the guy Trump just hired? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1210 For new employees we have an innovative stock ownership program. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1211 He put everything into common stocks. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1212 So that's a stock option! 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
1213 Well, it's not the first time he's not contributed to the coffee fund. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1214 No more performance bonuses. Management's going all in on better to be feared than loved tactics. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1215 Looks like penalties for early withdrawal are getting worse and worse. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1216 Well, the CEO did promise that stocks would be going up. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1217 Apparently, he was still using My Space. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1218 This bank is really strict with their early withdrawal penalties. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1219 He's been locked in there ever since he suggested we change the formula of Coke... 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1220 Shaming is still our most powerful motivator here. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1221 I think that tie is a little much 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1222 Penalty for early withdrawal. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
1223 It's ergonomic. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1224 That? Our new boss is from Williamsburg Virginia. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1225 Were you promised stock options? 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1226 These stand-up workstations has cut absenteeism in half. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1227 Good news, stocks are up. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1228 Another newbie who didn't read the stock option policy. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1229 That'll be us if Tesla doesn't go above $400 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1230 No, it's Murphy from Marketing -- Stephens from Sales was hung last week. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1231 I hear there is very little insubordination in this Company 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1232 Our social media accounts must be down. That's the backup public shaming method. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1233 Things are changing fast here at Uber. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
1234 He ate Sharon's yogurt. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1235 That's where we display the Employee of the Month. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1236 The less fortunate got the severance package. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1237 It keeps the interns in check. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1238 Oh, Alex told the CEO the ending to the last episode of GAME OF THRONES before he could watch his recording. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1239 He's our new stock analyst. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1240 And you thought, "White-House Press Secretary, that's a job for Me?" Isn't that right, Mr. Spicer? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1241 His projections were off. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1242 I see management replaced the suggestion box. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1243 Oh, before I forget, we're out of eggs. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1244 Here at Equifax, we're 100% committed to unraveling any security breaches. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1245 Oh yeah, that reminds me. Don't heat up your leftover fish in the office. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1246 I don't know why "Reply all" is still even an option 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1247 To all new employees: We welcome your suggestions. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1248 Frankly, I prefer to be downsized. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
1249 John appears to have missed the minimum billable hour target yet again. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1250 Would it help if I loosened his tie. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1251 See, that's why I'm not in stocks, I'm in bonds. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1252 And the irony is, he was overweighted in bonds. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1253 He's our paid scapegoat. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1254 Yes, ties are a requirement of our business dress code policy. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1255 You know, I'm not sure bonds would be better. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1256 Yesterday it was bonds. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1257 I think I misunderstood when management announced the new employee stocks program. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1258 Mr. Stevens was our previous Morale Officer. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1259 Employee of the week isn't what it used to be. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1260 It's supposed to invoke second thoughts on bad work behavior but now people are doing bad things on purpose to get away from their desk for a few hours. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1261 Oh, and we don't post about the company's diversity initiatives. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1262 With our new employee retention policy we finally managed to stop the brain drain. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1263 Is that the guy who wrote the memo? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1264 The new guy is fitting in well. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1265 He sent an all-caps email. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1266 It's the new incentive plan. If our stock goes down, the stocks go up... 1.2245 0.08876 49 43 1 5
1267 That was the most humane way to get him to stop Tweeting. 1.2245 0.06022 49 38 11 0
1268 He did say he wanted to get into stocks. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1269 Talk about being trapped in the office. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1270 Looks like they're setting up for another stock photo shoot. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1271 Just yesterday he was in bonds. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1272 As you can see, our employee retention plan includes stock options. As you can see our employee retention plan includes a stock option. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1273 Don't stare it makes him nervous. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1274 And a former employee of the month...sad 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1275 Yeech. He wore that same tie yesterday. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1276 Looks like someone didn't meet his numbers this month.. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1277 What? And ignore our history? 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1278 So it's true that stocks are making a comeback! 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1279 He was the loser of our fantasy football league. 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
1280 He keeps stealing office supplies 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1281 He used to be better at picking stocks 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1282 Hey, isn't that our stockbroker? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1283 It's part of the airlines' new seating program. 1.2245 0.07860 49 41 5 3
1284 He tried to reuse one of his seven most recent passwords. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1285 Is this the new ice bucket challenge? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1286 Intern? 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
1287 He liked the veneer but I persuaded him the solid oak is a better look. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1288 I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
1289 So, do you still want out of your contract? 1.2200 0.05918 50 39 11 0
1290 none of his incantations increased company sales 1.2195 0.08912 41 35 3 3
1291 Don't take the stock option. 1.2195 0.07418 41 33 7 1
1292 Ralph exercised his stock option. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1293 I warned him that he should have stayed in the bond market... 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1294 "I'm hearing after coffee break he'll be pelted with a variety of organically grown tomatoes". 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1295 They usually quit before we have to fire them. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1296 I wish I had the courage to refuse to submit my annual SMART goals. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1297 The local scuttlebutt has it that it's not personal---just business. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1298 It's the new employee orientation program. It they last the first 90 days, they're a keeper. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1299 And that's our new fixed arm offering. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1300 This is why we work in bonds. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1301 That's what you get for humming 'The Girl from Ipanema' in the elevator. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1302 Ralph changed our insurance plan to an HMO. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1303 I heard it was insider trading with the guys over in Jamestown. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1304 Looks like Congress amended the Dodd Frank penalties. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1305 It is a new policy, truth or consequences. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1306 Jeremy voted for Trump. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1307 He told Trump to stop tweeting. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1308 At least he wasn't drawn and quarterlied. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1309 This company has a very enlightened approach. Nobody is allowed to throw stones at him. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1310 He's committed all his money to stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1311 That’s for reheating fish in the lunch room microwave. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1312 Let me tell you about our unlimited vacation policy. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1313 He told his broker he wanted to get out of Bonds and into Stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1314 HR says we can't throw tomatoes, it was just a micro-aggression. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1315 I have to admit, Ted does pick spectacular stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1316 Their employee retention strategy is quite effective. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1317 If you think that's crazy, you should've seen the tar and feather display in the lunchroom 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1318 He asked Trump for a standup desk. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1319 He used to hustle Stocks & Bonds on the 5th Floor ...but now I guess he's just into stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1320 And I doubt you'll find a company with better stock options... 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1321 Odd, Usually the written warning gets through to them... 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1322 Damn late fees. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1323 We've revived the stockade. It's for members of the accounting department who refuse to embrace Generally Accepted Accounting Procedures. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1324 It's just Bernie. Pretend he's not there. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1325 He didn't refill the coffee pot....for the last time. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1326 They don't use the barrel anymore. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1327 Don't you think the tie is a little gauche? 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1328 That's one of the worst standing desks I've ever seen. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1329 Oh and never Reply All with just "LOL." Ever. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1330 This bank has very severe penalties for overdrafts! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1331 I guess he should have bought bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1332 I'll be honest, the stock options could be better. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1333 The "Golden Handcuffs" ain't what they used to be. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1334 When I said we had to retain our top talent I meant through financial means.... 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1335 The worst employee of the month. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1336 That has to be the worst stock option we've ever offered. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1337 I hear 'unpaid internment' looks good on a resume. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1338 This company makes public punishment an art form. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1339 He made an actual phone call, and followed it with a hand written note. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1340 Nobody wanted to be greeter. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1341 I'd loose the tie. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1342 ...and whatever you do, don't take anyone else's lunch from the fridge. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1343 That'll teach him to burn popcorn in the microwave. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1344 I moved to bonds; he's still in stocks. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1345 I had something else in mind when you said this company was a leader in stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1346 Did I mention that this firm is owned by Pilgrims? 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1347 Well, everyone started chanting "Lock him up!" after he deleted his junk e-mails... 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1348 Burned popcorn in the microwave. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1349 He said Trumps policies seem mid-evil! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1350 We're going back to the old system. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1351 Caught sexting during a board meeting. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1352 We do "Employee of the Month" a little differently here. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1353 He asked for a raise after only working here six years. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1354 Boy, those early withdrawal penalties are getting tougher. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1355 Third one this month caught not reading emails while on vacation. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1356 That's it, we're buying bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1357 I liked it better when he was a smoker. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1358 Is this performance evaluation day? 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1359 Apparently they are trying out new standing desks. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1360 Oh, the vibe here is definitely not Silicon Valley. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1361 Don't ask. No, seriously. Don't ask - not anything, not ever. Asking is out! 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1362 Jeffrey didn't think outside the box at the 9am meeting. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1363 Those are the stocks. Wanna see the bonds? 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1364 A long time ago we called it the time out chair. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1365 Well, it's better than the beatings they did to raise morale. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1366 Everyday here is torture. Isn't that right, Dan? 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1367 I preferred it when they just charged a fee for being overdrawn 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1368 The HR department must be on its annual retreat. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1369 I understand he wouldn't sign the voluntary arbitration agreement. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1370 Looks like our new, ergonomic standing desks have arrived. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1371 I've felt a lot safer since we outlawed Twitter. 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1372 He was caught microwaving fish. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1373 He needs to leave his personal life at home. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1374 That's what we do to Trump supporters 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1375 He wouldn't stop asking, 'Working hard or hardly working?' 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1376 He'll do just about anything to draw attention to himself. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1377 It’s actually better for your core than sitting at a desk all day. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1378 Nelson. 12th floor. FEMA. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1379 I told him he wouldn't like working here at The Colonial Williamsburg Foundation. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1380 He failed the phishing test. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1381 He took the last donut 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1382 We used to have a deer mounted to the wall but the boss thought it was too barbaric. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1383 They did say there was a penalty for early withdrawal. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1384 What? You've never seen a guy who works in stocks before? 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1385 As a career move it beats banishment. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1386 I heard they were increasing the penalty for early withdrawals. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1387 Stocks can be tricky if you're new to the market. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1388 He's a Trump supporter. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1389 Glad to see the company's finally cracking down on "reply all" abuse. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1390 The interior designer is off his meds again. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1391 I'm more of a "bond" man myself, if you know what I mean. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1392 There's a strict don't-make-eye-contact-in-elevator policy here. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1393 Are you certain this is the chiropractor? 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1394 Don't worry about him; he's got loads of stock options. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1395 I don't care. I'm still closing my Wells Fargo account. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1396 From Stock Analyst to Stockade in two weeks must be some kind of records 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1397 Think that's bad? You should see what the interns in bonds have to go through. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1398 Latest investment idea, stocks and bondage. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1399 It was that or a scarlet T. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1400 Each state has one: a public pillory for its legislators. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1401 Ms. Grey will see you now. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1402 We are currently testing version 2.0 of our standup desk model 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1403 That's an unusual combination of stocks and bonds 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1404 He's refusing to sign up for LinkedIn. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1405 Josh was transferred to Stocks and Bondage. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1406 Well, he goes by "Birk" if that is any help. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1407 I'd wait until 5:00 if I were you. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1408 Maybe he didn't totally get how the stocks option works here. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1409 It's part of our new policy for white male employees 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1410 Around here, we let the punishment fit the crime, and he's our stock broker. That's all I know, and all I want to know. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1411 I guess Ted's the one who's been microwaving fish in the break room. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1412 I plan to get one for my husband 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1413 I'm so done with work space S&M 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1414 that's the new guy from the Salem office 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1415 On the bright side, it has curbed those random break room fridge yogurt thefts. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1416 It's the latest shoplifting deterrent from IKEA--flat-pack stocks. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1417 We get punished for using the term "climate change." 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1418 A word of warning: remember to never hit Reply All. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1419 Having stock options has definitely increased employee retention. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1420 Not allowing him to tweet is just plain cruel. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1421 Employee of the month is not all it's cracked up to be. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1422 The boss did warn him that if he mentioned "Harvard" one more time he'd put him into stocks. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1423 We pride ourselves on our friendly work environment. Just don't be late. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1424 Last week he was in bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1425 Whatever you do, don't cut in line 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1426 This firm comes highly recommended. I've been told that they take an unorthodox approach to stocks and bonds. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1427 Just ignore him. He had the audacity to suggest that Clinton lost because of Bernie. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1428 I warned him about reading the fine print before buying into the company's public stock offering! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1429 Being "Emplyee of the Month" isn't what it used to be. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1430 The memo said that the floggings will continue until John's moral improves. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1431 Much better results than those performance improvement plans we used to use. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1432 I'm not sure I like the tie. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1433 Is this their Salem office? 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1434 This is what happens when women take over 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1435 He'll never try to get us to dance the Macarena again at the office summer picnic! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1436 I thought our dental was bad too, until I saw the stock option. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1437 Do you think Stocks are the next big thing? 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1438 THAT'S the guy that didn't flush. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1439 Looks like Kevin finally bought those stocks. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1440 The stock options here are terrible. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1441 He clicked 'Reply All' one too many times. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1442 Oh, yeah, I forgot. It's For Shame Friday. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1443 That reminds me: another perk about this place is that you will almost never have your lunch stolen out of the break room fridge. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1444 Back when we were dating he was really into bonds. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1445 Someday Sven will learn not to microwave fish in the office. 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1446 That's his investment in stocks 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1447 Lucky bastard: I never got MY stock option. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1448 You have to admire his grit, but I think I would have just taken the severance and been on my way. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1449 I said 'Don't look at that guy in the stockade,' and you looked right at him! 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1450 It's a great place to work except for the public shaming. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1451 Don't be too quick to judge our corporate culture. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1452 He hit 'Reply All' one too many times. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1453 Nice tie, Herb. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1454 Poor George. He just wanted to take a vacation. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1455 Brings all new meaning to stocks and bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1456 He told the his team leader that her ideas were medieval. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1457 Jacobs got a little too casual last Friday 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1458 Boss caught him on Facebook again 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1459 That's Jensen. He was caught picking the low-hanging fruit. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1460 Three Reply-Alls and you are out. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1461 That's Bill from HR demonstrating our new flex work program 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1462 Dan always wanted to diversify into stocks. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1463 It’s to stop him from forwarding cat videos. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1464 Remember when "Employee of the Month" meant a simple photo on the wall? 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1465 As you can see, we offer generous stock options. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1466 See, there is such a thing as a stupid question. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1467 This shaming business is getting out of hand. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1468 He should have been in bonds. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1469 They finally caught Mr. Fish-in-the-Microwave. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1470 He asked for his stock options. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1471 Our generous stocks options keep Bob around. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1472 He wrote a memo to Human Resources. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1473 Let's stick with bonds. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1474 I've never really understood the need to get into stocks. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1475 I thought it was an error in the job description, but apparently they do offer stockade options. 1.2143 0.07258 42 34 7 1
1476 That's what happens when you keep hitting "reply to all." 1.2143 0.07258 42 34 7 1
1477 He kept wearing a tie on Casual Fridays. 1.2143 0.07258 42 34 7 1
1478 I want that too, baby. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
1479 I had heard their stock was up 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
1480 I understand this is the training program for using one of those standup desks. 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
1481 I you ask me management is taking 'Throwback Thursday' too far. 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
1482 He didn't concur. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
1483 His company's stock just went public. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1484 HR needs to lighten up. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1485 I completely misunderstood when you told me that Ted worked in stocks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1486 Corporate punishment 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1487 I’m still unclear how it will raise overall productivity to reward the employee of the month with a holding in the company’s stocks. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1488 Boy, the boss is serious about not using his parking space. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1489 This time they are giving stocks instead of bonuses 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1490 That new whistle-blower policy is really bearing fruit 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1491 We're testing a logo to accompany the new slogan, "At Wells Fargo we are totally committed to the stock." 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1492 He mentioned in the Monday morning meeting he preferred Stocks over Bonds. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1493 Jerry is always saying it is a good time to be in stocks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1494 I guess he received his stock option. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1495 I told you not to wear that tie. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1496 Oh, one more thing- if you use the washroom, don't forget to return the key. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1497 It's our version of the stay-cation. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1498 So Herb is the new employee of the month. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1499 He's been trying to get a job here at Charles Schwab, but I don't think he's clear on what we do. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1500 Phil elected for old stock option. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1501 It's back to basics on in-house affairs. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1502 Right. That company claims it always has everything in stock. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1503 He replied all to ten office-wide email chains; I'd be fine if they cut his hands off. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1504 To promote healthier work habits we're encouraging employees to spend more time on their feet. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1505 This company takes email etiquette very seriously. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1506 I told you, No good deed goes unpunished . 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1507 The stock plan here kind of sucks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1508 I heard he was into stocks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1509 He was trading insider stockades. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1510 The irony. A fraudulent stock broker is placed in the stocks. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1511 So don't even THINK about surfing the internet while you're on the clock. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1512 I TOLD you you shouldn't have let him assemble the standing desk himself! 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1513 He made personal copies on the office copier. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1514 He only does stocks. If you want bonds you have to go to another broker. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1515 'That's what Carl gets for not re-filling the meade in the pantry.' 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1516 Not the stock options you had in mind Johnson? 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1517 Maybe now he'll think twice about stealing Rachel's yogurts from the lunch room. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1518 I guess he asked for a raise again. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1519 I told him to stay out of stocks. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1520 Steve took the last cup of coffee and didn't brew a new pot. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1521 So much for "Take No Prisoners". 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1522 He knew the rules. My yogurt was clearly labeled. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1523 ...and you'll stay there until you can learn the difference between 'reply' and 'reply all'. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1524 Bonds I get, but I didn't know stocks were back. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1525 Saw him arguing with the receptionist about an hour ago. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1526 I've always avoided stocks and bondage. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1527 That reminds me...never park in the CEO's space. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1528 It's helped tremendously with employee cell phone addiction. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1529 Pardon me, can you tell me how long you can hold my husband? I have a lot of shopping to do. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1530 I'd be back from lunch on time if I were you. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1531 He didn't order the fair trade coffee 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1532 This new waiting room certainly sends a message. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1533 This is what happens when we stop regulating the stockade market 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1534 If I were you, I'd cancel the request for the standing desk 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1535 I preferred the "time out" chair. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1536 I don't think that's what he meant when he said he wanted to be in stocks... 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1537 The impacts of getting "Needs Improvement" on the performance review certainly have changed here! 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1538 Oh, we'll let him out after the board votes. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1539 Looks like the stocks are up again. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1540 That's the stocks. Where are the bonds? 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1541 The boss definitely doesn't like that style tie. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1542 Walter lost another men's room key. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1543 Perhaps he has some interesting stock tips. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1544 Modern art is getting harder to understand. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1545 Worst performance evaluation ever... 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1546 You should see the guy who sells bonds. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1547 I'm guessing he'll never take Helen's sandwich again. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1548 White shoes after Labor Day. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1549 He refuses to train his replacement. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1550 It's a new corporate policy, for not meeting your goals, as suggested by the current political administration 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1551 As you can see Miss Johnson, we have a vigorous H.R. department. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1552 Our corporate ethos is one of complete transparency. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1553 Oh him? He is just the lone conservative here at Google. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1554 Stock analyst. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1555 He asked that we put him into stocks, and we always oblige our clients. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1556 He chose the wrong stock option. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1557 I told him months ago he'd be better off trading bonds or T-bills! 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1558 It cuts down on sexual harassment. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1559 I prefer Norman Rockwell over this new performance art. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1560 The benefits are great, but I don't usually recommend the stock option plan 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1561 He wore a tie on 'Casual Friday. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1562 Yeah, Jeff hit "reply all" again. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1563 My guess is, we'll see a lot fewer Reply All's coming out of him. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1564 French art..I don't get it. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1565 They take stocks to a ridiculous degree here. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1566 Thats IT's Employee of the Month. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1567 See Lisa,that's what happens when you ask for a raise. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1568 Summer intern. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1569 It's the Anti-Employee of the Month Award. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1570 Just a reminder, our CEO does not want your questions during the obligatory Q&A. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1571 I guess the swear jar didn't work. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1572 He felt the need to take stock of the situation. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1573 Shaming on social media has nothing on the good old ways. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1574 You'll see we take customer service very seriously. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1575 Our CEO IS very old school. 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1576 Looks like our stocks are up today. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1577 Don't you love our interview system. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1578 They fired him last week, but he refuses to leave. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1579 Oh, he's an advocate of a 35 hour work week. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1580 How much did you say corporate spent on this employee motivation program? 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1581 He's one of those people who supported Trump even after his Impeachment and incarceration 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1582 We take the dress code seriously around here. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1583 I told him to just keep quiet and sign the Loyalty Oath. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1584 I hate when Todd has to let everyone know he stays here overtime 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1585 For myself, I think it takes the whole retro thing too far... 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
1586 Poor guy. His stocks are down AND he made a poor tie choice. 1.2045 0.06151 44 35 9 0
1587 Stocks and bonds, stocks and bonds. Is that all there is to life? 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1588 Latest intern. Screwed up the boss's lunch order. 1.2045 0.07680 44 37 5 2
1589 I hope he knows a good stockbreaker 1.2045 0.08340 44 38 3 3
1590 Finally, the boss's son found his little niche. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
1591 Stock options are made available to underperformers here. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1592 Do you see why I try not to make eye contact with anyone at the office? 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1593 Its not so bad. He works at a stand-up desk. 1.1915 0.07222 47 40 5 2
1594 I just added rotten tomatoes to my mental grocery list. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1595 The Trump organization is very serious about its incentive plans for its employees, as you can see. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1596 Looks like Gary put fish in the microwave again. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1597 He was discovered using a flip phone. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1598 Intern? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1599 Apparently they hold your deposit until you return the vehicle. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1600 That is his safe space. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1601 H.R. caught him man-splaining again... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1602 He took his shoes off at his cubicle. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1603 Jim Replied All again. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1604 Let's not fall into that trap. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1605 That's Bob. You'll be taking over for him in stocks once you learn the ropes... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1606 trump cabinet performance art 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1607 Can you hear me now? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1608 I miss the days of administrative leave. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1609 This wouldn't happen at Wells Fargo! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1610 That’s Jim from corporate. He thought we were serious about wanting to disrupt the industry. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1611 Stocks and Shares. Know the difference. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1612 Ask him why you need to sign your time sheet. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1613 Looks like someone forgot to pretend to be happy. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1614 Is it performance art if they can't move? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1615 So THAT'S who's been taking all the brown sugar packets. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1616 Like I said, divorces are our specialty. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1617 He accused HR of being too Puritanical. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1618 Actually opened his kimono. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1619 I guess Bill finally figured out who has been taking his sandwiches 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1620 I hear he didn't answer his emails on the weekend. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1621 That's Lynch. He used to be in bonds. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1622 Thanks to his signature buck teeth, he got nailed for taking bites out of several people's sandwiches in the communal fridge. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1623 That's the boss's version of a 'time-out'! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1624 The upright posture helps you stay limber. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1625 Looks like he didn't make his quota of collusion with Russia denials. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1626 The company stocks are up 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1627 They've improved the waiting area. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1628 He tried to leave early on Friday, again. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1629 He picked the wrong stocks. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1630 That's why I recommend bonds 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1631 Maybe now he'll stop abusing "reply all" 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1632 He took the last of the coffee and didn't make more. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1633 No, he doesn't work here... he just likes to hang around. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1634 There's still a stock market? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1635 He requested a raise and got a stock answer. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1636 Reply All. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1637 Gave out the bathroom code. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1638 They say it boosts morale to see others have it worse. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1639 He wore fleece on casual Fridays. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1640 He kept hitting reply-all. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1641 How many times do I have to tell you? it's a pillory, not the stocks! 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1642 Caught him not washing his hands in the men's room. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1643 Yeah, somebody over at the FTC recently discovered irony. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1644 Complaint department. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1645 That's a bit harsh, don't you think? For just wearing white after Labor Day. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1646 Don't let our company mascot fool you. The stock options here are very competitive. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1647 This way, he'll never "circle back" again. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1648 Nobody wanted the Greeter job. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1649 They're taking this 'Employee of the Month' thing a bit too far. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1650 Poor Vickers. He thought the 's' in 'stocks option' was just a typo. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1651 When he said he was going into stocks, I thought he was becoming a broker! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1652 Apparently he was humming Christmas tunes in July 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1653 They're calling it "hands-off management." 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1654 You have to appreciate gallows humor to work around here. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1655 The employee of the month gets to choose one. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1656 He watched 'Game of Thrones' at his desk again. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1657 You look like you deserve it. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1658 He forgot where he was and told JB that Trump is a money grubbing narcissistic moron. Unfortunately, that pretty much describes JB. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1659 At least our lunches will be safe today. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1660 Doesn't he know his tie isn't supposed to go lower than the stocks? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1661 I see our stock is up again. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1662 No penalty for early withdrawal, my ass! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1663 ...and I believe you're already familiar with LEAN management? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1664 Seems a little retro - is that Faceboard? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1665 He missed the sign "You're Locked In" thinking it was a bank investment rate. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1666 Where have all the flowers gone. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1667 Just another lobbyist. They're cheaper than potted plants. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1668 He resisted the merger. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1669 He came in to complain about being kept on hold all the time. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1670 And he's still not sorry. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1671 Hey Hanson did you forget your password again? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1672 On the other hand, maybe downsizing isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1673 That is so last year. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1674 I can't tell you how many times I told him the stock option was a bad choice... 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1675 Serial texter. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1676 We have a three strike policy on forgetting your key FOB. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1677 Gotta love Bill's old fashioned self deprecation. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1678 He introduced himself at a company meeting but forgot to add his pronoun preferences. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1679 Oh, he's from the stock room. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1680 Lock, Stock, and Kegel. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1681 We don't allow tuna fish in the cubicles. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1682 We are entering personnel territory. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1683 Personally, I would have chosen the ducking stool instead. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1684 And that's Larry. He works in stocks. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1685 Just look at his tie! 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1686 We've had this office space for centuries. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1687 That IKEA? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1688 At least they offer healthcare benefits. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1689 I'm not sure... something to do with mini-bar irregularities. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1690 Our office behavior rule number 2 calls for this punishment for not flushing the toilet after use. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1691 We often advise clients to take a strong position in stocks. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1692 I heard he drank all the coffee in the break room 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1693 Did I mention that we select two kinds of Employees of the Month? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1694 Oh, that's just Brad. He ate the last doughnut. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1695 Just following the company motto: "Humility is the first step to Prosperity." 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1696 It's our current shaming campaign against skinny ties! 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1697 It's HR's new stock incentive program. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1698 They don't call the Trump years 'the Dark Ages' for nothing. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1699 I've been thinking of getting into stocks myself 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1700 He publicly stated that Trump’s maturity is “equivalent to a prepubescent 12 year-old boy.” Ironically, management claims this response is “proportional.” 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1701 He's from Plymouth. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1702 "He forgot to refill the pot of coffee". 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1703 That reminds me; I need to re-balance my portfolio 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1704 I tried to warn him about stocks. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1705 God, this place is a dungeon. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1706 He couldn't find his birth certificate. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1707 It's new employee orientation for telecommuters. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1708 I'm all for extreme vetting of new hires, but not in the lobby. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1709 Some ideas should remain outside the suggestion box. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1710 He flunked the Game of Thrones quiz this morning. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1711 I'm still surprised he took the public stock option. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1712 That's for posting fake news. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1713 Looks like public shaming has come full circle. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1714 Must have microwaved fish again. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1715 His portfolio could use a little diversification. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1716 He's the head of the board. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1717 Our 80's theme last week was great but our sales have almost tripled during North Korea week! 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1718 Oh, the new standing desks must have arrived. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1719 They froze his Twitter account, too. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1720 Gossiping around the water cooler or using the boss' coffee mug, I can't remember which 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1721 Pelting at noon. Bring your own tomatoes. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1722 Haberman, our stocks analyst. Very old school... 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1723 It looks like Benson is no longer a "Yes Man." 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1724 He expensed a business class ticket last month. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1725 I am glad that I declined the stock options. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1726 Oh yeah... and don't forget to refill the printer toner. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1727 This place has gone soft on entry level mishaps. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1728 And he was afraid of the golden handcuffs 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1729 Harrison was caught texting in the sales meeting again! 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1730 I see Jerry got that promotion he was hoping for. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1731 ...and as part of our employee benefits, we offer stock options. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1732 And this is a prototype of our anti-tweeting stand. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1733 He lost us a bundle in bonds, so the boss put him into stocks. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1734 At first we didn't understand when the new CEO spoke of the panacea of stocks and bonds. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1735 So that's what happens when you take office supplies. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1736 Admittedly, not one of our better stock options... 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1737 The fool put an idea in the suggestion box. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1738 The condo association is pretty strict 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1739 Corporate Discipline 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1740 Think they'll ever catch the leaker? 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1741 To be fair, my first 9-to-5 felt the same way. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1742 Illicit use of post-its. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1743 When I heard he was moving from bonds to stocks this is not what I expected. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1744 Apparently we haven't finished selling off all our stocks. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1745 It's refreshing to see corporations supporting performance art. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1746 Isn't that the guy from bonds? 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1747 It's experimental therapy for smartphone addiction. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1748 His tie was too long. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1749 Yeah, we take customer complaints pretty seriously around here. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1750 I told him now was a bad time to get into stocks.... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1751 I think I'd rather be fired. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1752 Some people just don't read the fine print 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1753 Boss just found out he voted for Trump. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1754 That's what you get for microwaving fish in the break room. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1755 They wouldn't let him resign from the board. 1.1905 0.08512 42 37 2 3
1756 Yeah Trump's alternative to the Dreamer program. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1757 He's testing to see if HR will approve those stand up desks. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1758 It was in the suggestion box. 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1759 Stevens needs to learn the difference between "reply" and "reply all". 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1760 He didn't meet the quota 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1761 Oh, yes, you'll need to meet your monthly quotas if you take the position. 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1762 Is that a Trump tie? 1.1905 0.07016 42 35 6 1
1763 When he said he was in stocks, I assumed he was talking about his job... 1.1905 0.07800 42 36 4 2
1764 I guess he didn't get the memo. 1.1905 0.06133 42 34 8 0
1765 I see the summer interns are here. 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
1766 Oh ya, this place is super strict about the recycling. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1767 "We were having a hard time implementing our no printing policy to cut down on paper costs. Bob got caught making 15 copies of a one-sided, full-color, 20-page Power Point. Unfortunately, management decided to make an example of him. 1.1860 0.08964 43 39 0 4
1768 He's on hold until Human Resources decides what to do. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1769 He'd received many warning, but he just kept on using 'reply all.' 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
1770 That's why I double-check before hitting "reply all." 1.1860 0.07629 43 37 4 2
1771 This month's lobby art exhibit. He's the curator. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1772 Remember when the only feudal thing around here was the salary gap... 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1773 When my time comes, I'm going with a striped tie and running shoes. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1774 I think he is the new stock boy. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1775 Well, he knows what NSFW means now. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1776 He refused to be microchipped. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
1777 When he asked where the stock market was I thought he meant Wall. Street. 1.1837 0.06946 49 42 5 2
1778 He didn't have any references. 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
1779 Wow, they are really cracking down on unauthorized use of the freight elevator. 1.1818 0.07466 44 38 4 2
1780 Don't you just love these realistic sculptures? 1.1818 0.07466 44 38 4 2
1781 Better here than the cafeteria. 1.1818 0.08143 44 39 2 3
1782 I didn't know they were this serious about the new dress code 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
1783 He's climbing the corporate ladde from stock boy to stock aide. 1.1818 0.07466 44 38 4 2
1784 I know it looks strange, but the orders came straight from the new Attorney General. 1.1818 0.08089 33 28 4 1
1785 He didn't hit 'Reply All'. 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
1786 Well, I'm not surprised. Those shoes with that tie? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1787 Stock manipulation. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1788 Expertly designed to spark creativity, encourage productivity and impress. With spaces all over the city, you can find Breather workspaces where you need them most. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1789 And then he hit "reply all". 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1790 I've never been a fan of colonial decor. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1791 It's our new sales incentive called "Feudal Fridays" 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1792 The boss told him to take stock of himself. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1793 He's from our Fifty Shades of Finance Division. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1794 The millennials chose this month's art display. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1795 They're implementing a corporate punishment policy 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1796 Talking back to HR. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1797 It's Casual Friday. He's overdressed. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1798 Last week he was in bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1799 I thought Geoffrey was in bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1800 He left the seat up. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1801 But at least they didn't hang him out to dry. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1802 That's Greg. He's in stocks. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1803 Well, he did go for the stock option. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1804 He's the guy who asked about stock options.. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1805 The receptionist here loves putting people on hold. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1806 They're making an example out of him for coming unprepared to describe his "biggest weakness" 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1807 Reply all needs a time delay feature 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1808 Most organizations preach a positive reinforcement management philosophy, we have a different approach. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1809 He voted for pillory. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1810 Listen, just don't open email attachments from unfamiliar sources and you'll be fine. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1811 That's what he gets for giving a stock answer. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1812 Looks like he picked the wrong stock. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1813 Work Shame Wednesday sucks since HR veto'd the rotten vegetables. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1814 It's a Monday thing. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1815 Ever since we hired the new H.R. Director with an M.F.A. I never know whether something is discipline or performance art. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1816 New overdraft penalty seems a little steep. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1817 The stock plan's not great either. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1818 They take supply-closet pilfering seriously here, don't they? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1819 Poor Fred! But you should see the guys in bonds... 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1820 Oh, Bob? He passed up some low-hanging fruit. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1821 I told you this place is weird 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1822 Bob is out of cash. And into stocks. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1823 This is just foreplay. They do the actual stoning in the atrium. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1824 He still insists it was worth stealing the boss's lunch out of the fridge. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1825 I see Clive brought stale donuts again. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1826 What a terrible stock pick. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1827 You either pay tribute to the boss, or you become the tribute. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1828 Don't worry, it's a motivational performance art installation from Corporate. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1829 They're tough, but fair here. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1830 Apparently he chose the wrong stock option 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1831 He should have invested in bonds. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1832 Ohh - Harry forgot to submit our Lottery syndicate this week. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1833 I heard he was the architect. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1834 It's called the Laughing Stock and every employee takes a turn. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1835 These new medieval reality work shows have everyone up in arms latley... 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1836 By the way, he's your predecessor. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1837 Is it just me or are the decorations in the office getting worse every year? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1838 He chose the stock option instead of a salary. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1839 I'm glad I didn't take the stocks option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1840 You should see what they do with the bond traders. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1841 So that's what a real live laughingstock looks like! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1842 Hope that's the last time anyone explains our financial performance with sock puppets at the management meeting.... 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1843 He's about to apply for a job in the White House, and he wants to see if he can take the punishment. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1844 ...and nobody even stops to say 'hi.' 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1845 For God's sake, change your necktie. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1846 Early withdrawal CD penalty. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1847 Yes, the training did say our younger clients need to be in stocks, however... 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1848 He used to sell stocks, now he's in bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1849 ... and I ordered whole tomatoes for lunch. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1850 It's a voluntary social media abstention program. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1851 Hmm, looks like Bob assigned only 45% women to his coding team again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1852 Just be glad you're not working in stocks and bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1853 Looks like stocks are up. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1854 This is what happens when company "stocks" are not appreciated. 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1855 Corporate really got into Game of Thrones. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1856 Does his vulnerability turn you on? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1857 I think a Starbucks card is a better productivity incentive. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1858 Managements new concept- Punishment Day 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1859 You pull the tie to get him to talk. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1860 They call it the equities department, but it's really just stocks. 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1861 Tell me again about the stock options here? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1862 We all told him not to exercise the stock option. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1863 He made a snide comment about Puritans at a staff meeting. The boss found out last month John Calvin is his ancestor. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1864 How did switching over from bonds work out for you, Hemstreet? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1865 Bob stole Ted's yogurt. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1866 It's just a little something to boost office morale. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1867 Our CEO is a witch. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1868 Talk about early withdrawal penalties! 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1869 Our firm is noted for it's "Tough Love" motivation techniques. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1870 What do you think it means? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1871 He asked to work from home. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1872 It was the polka-dot tie. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1873 He forgot to bring doughnuts yesterday. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1874 Poor stock selection... 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1875 He still supports NAFTA. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1876 He microwaved fish at work. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1877 He!s solely invested in stocks and bonds now 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1878 It was very clear in the internship application- bungle the coffee order, pay the price. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1879 They're cracking down on employees who leave dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1880 Oh, he usually just hangs in the lobby. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1881 Yeah, we've started to diversify into stocks and bondage. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1882 He made bad employee of the month. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1883 He said I should put him into stocks so I did. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1884 Looks like stocks are up today! 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1885 I think we should sign the visitor's log. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1886 Ever since the stock market crash, we've resorted to pillory. 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1887 It's the new standing desk prototype. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1888 I heard he was trying to start a union. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1889 He should have stayed on the bond desk. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1890 Stocks are up again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1891 We offer full healthcare, a 401k and great stockade options. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1892 You should see how he's treated on Twitter. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1893 "He fell for it, lock, stock and barrel". 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1894 Good old Puritan work ethic. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1895 Modern art. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1896 I'm glad the PC craze is over. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1897 I see Rodney is working late again. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1898 Won't take my day off this year ! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1899 He came over from bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1900 If you know the difference between bagels and donuts, you'll be fine. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1901 Stocks sluggish today? 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1902 It's the new corporate punishment for time theft. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1903 The tie is supposed to go behind the pillory board. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1904 Didn't make his quota, again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1905 I told him not to touch the sandwiches outside of conference room B... 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1906 Bend over like you mean it. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1907 Back to the good old days. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1908 Looks like he won't be grabbing or pinching anymore employees. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1909 A word to the wise, if something in the break room fridge is not yours, don't touch it. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1910 A group of interns hath accused him of White Privilege. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1911 Used sock puppets at the last Board meeting. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1912 That broker is in the wrong stocks. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1913 I see stocks are down again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1914 Our behavioral interview is designed to get results. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1915 He reheated leftover fish in the office microwave. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1916 Just be sure you can substantiate all your expense account claims 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1917 Someone didn't meet their quota.... 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1918 It's a stocks and bonds thing. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1919 He was in bonds before he switched to stocks. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1920 He's the outgoing Employee of the Month 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1921 When will it end? There goes another one from one of the White House Advisory Councils! 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1922 I don't know if the robots will want all the jobs. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1923 That's George, from stocks and bonds. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1924 Don't worry about Frank, at least he's got a stock option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1925 The administration find this less embarrassing than publicly shaming online. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1926 Looks like the new employee evaluation system has finally been rolled out. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1927 Our stocked broker! 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1928 And what happens if we get the job? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1929 I am not sure I agree with the current trends in human resource management. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1930 He gave too many stock answers. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1931 They say the bonds are worse. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1932 He didn't listen when I told him to get into bonds... 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1933 He beat Donald at golf 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1934 I told you shopping online at work was a bad idea. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1935 He lost big in bonds so now he's in stocks. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1936 Tom wore white after Labor Day, poor guy. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1937 I hear he is doing a silent protest to the standing desk. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1938 I think that's the substantial penalty for early withdrawal. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1939 It's a new employee stock option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1940 Not sure, but I heard he didn't know the last 4 digits of his social… 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1941 The work here is punishing. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1942 Don't steal Marge's yogurt. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1943 Poor guy, he told him he wanted to get into stocks. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1944 It's to add to his stock portfolio. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1945 Looks like Larry is on the chopping block this week 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1946 You'll probably want to forego the stock options. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1947 He had Caps Lock on during login. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1948 No penalty for early withdrawal, eh? 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1949 Some of these new hires have to be taught about restraint. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1950 He didn't say, "Good morning, J.P." today. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1951 Poor Phil. Took the last cup of office coffee and forgot to start a new pot. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1952 One too many tweets, I guess! 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1953 I thought they said the company offered 'stock options.' 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1954 He's the reason all the pens are on those little chains! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1955 I told him not to bring up the French Revolution at the meeting. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1956 I see stocks are up today. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1957 I'd stay away from coffee, Bill. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1958 We have a strict no-fish-in-the-microwave policy. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1959 He didn't have an appointment. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1960 He wasn't given enough rope to hang himself, so they found an alternative 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1961 You'll get used to it over time. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1962 Oh, and don't ever take home any office supplies. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1963 yea, that's Barney...he heads up our stocks and bondage department. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1964 We finally caught the person who was cooking fish in the break room. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1965 That's Steve. He's in Accounting. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1966 Who did you say he voted for? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1967 He was caught grazing in the office refrigerator. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1968 Where are the bagels? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1969 Stocks are down 1.1795 0.08902 39 35 1 3
1970 Must be that new pop-up chiropractic thing. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1971 Looks like there was a shareholders' meeting this morning. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1972 Found the paper clip bandit! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1973 He's been using text speak in emails again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1974 Forget to return the bathroom key again Doug? 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1975 Insider trading punishment now fits the crime! 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1976 So, will this mean you won't be at the Christmas party? 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1977 The board decided that was a better stock option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1978 A rather unique way to honor the Employee of the Month. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1979 Wasn't that the nice man who sold us our additional car insurance policy? 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1980 I hear he didn't set up enough phony accounts last week! 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1981 It was either that or back to telemarketing calls. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1982 So much for the Open Door policy. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1983 Chad? Oh he used to be into bondage - now he's in stocks. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1984 The painter is a great artist. That is such a lifelike capture of our president. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1985 Corporate's offering a new stock option plan. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1986 Is that the guy that wanted more stock options? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1987 Like the handbook says, we recognize creativity and initiative. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1988 You'd better return that pencil sharpener 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1989 Leakers are treated harshly here 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1990 I guess my cubicle's not that bad after all 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1991 Says he's going to remain there until there is world peace or the cafeteria adds a vegan option. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1992 Spicy tuna rolls are half-price--shall we grab you some? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1993 Looks like John won employee of the month again. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1994 And that's why I put all my money in bonds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1995 Is that Art? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
1996 He asked the boss for an ergonomic chair. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1997 All new associates start with researching stocks. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
1998 My broker put me in mutual funds. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
1999 He thought it was OK not to wear a tie on casual Friday. He won't make that mistake again. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
2000 At least he doesn't need to be watered. 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
2001 He sold Tesla at $50.00. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
2002 And you say that this is the Stock Exchange? 1.1795 0.08108 39 34 3 2
2003 It's the new stock option for employee of the month 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
2004 Oh, him? That what we do with ALL whistleblowers. 1.1795 0.07228 39 33 5 1
2005 I guess he didn't foresee what would happen when he cashed in his stock options. 1.1795 0.06225 39 32 7 0
2006 When I was asked if I thought he should be in stocks I thought they meant the market... 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2007 Glad I invested in stocks. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
2008 Well, no, I don't have any tomatoes on me... 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2009 I'm disappointed they used stock art. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2010 That's Eric Mathison. He has consistently failed to use the Oxford comma. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2011 Stocks? In this economy? 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2012 Damien Hirst is slipping. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2013 I have a feeling we’ve come to the wrong stock exchange. 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2014 Hey, that guy sold me my last mortgage! 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2015 Not another office weight-loss challenge! 1.1750 0.06084 40 33 7 0
2016 That reminds me, who's hosting Thanksgiving this year? 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2017 Management hasn't finalized its bullying policy yet. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
2018 That wood finish certainly doesn't fit this lobby. 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
2019 THE DEATH KNELL OF THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX 1.1750 0.07060 40 34 5 1
2020 They say it relieves stress. 1.1750 0.07916 40 35 3 2
2021 I hear it's HR's new second interview process. 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
2022 He was our CEO and made some bad investments. We handed him over to our company stockbroker who put him in stocks and bonds. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
2023 There was a typo in the midlevel management memo. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
2024 Dear, isn't that your stock broker? 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
2025 Welcome to the stock exchange. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
2026 It's the new Employee of the Month board. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2027 Myles has a habit of saying 'ye' in every sentence. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2028 Fridge Thief 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2029 I dunno. Something about, "All the planets are heating up, but there's no cars on Saturn." 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2030 Live art. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2031 It's the boss's broker. His stocks have been going down again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2032 Don't mess with H.R. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2033 Our stocks has been performing quite well lately. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2034 Repent, troll. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2035 He's in the stock market. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2036 He's from new accounts at Wells Fargo. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2037 He objected to the company's antiquated culture. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2038 I hate Retro Thursday. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2039 So that's what he meant by "getting into stocks" 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2040 Two days in a row, he wore white after Labor Day. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2041 Well, Jeff Sessions IS the Attorney General... 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2042 It's "Send in the Clowns, not Clones." Stupid! 1.1622 0.09099 37 34 0 3
2043 That tie he's wearing is so dated! 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2044 Word to the wise, Gary... Don't eat anything in the break room fridge that is not clearly yours. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2045 He didn't meet the sales quota. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2046 We try to match every investors' individual needs with the stocks we put them into. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2047 He's on hold. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2048 He lifted another Sharpie. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2049 He changed his email font to comic sans 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2050 He refuses to buy a cell phone or home computer so John can't reach him outside of business hours. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2051 And that's why I avoid the office fridge. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2052 Wait 'til you see how the bond trader was disciplined. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2053 Wells Fargo has really improved their customer service. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2054 Bill's our stocks guy 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2055 Under the new leadership at the EPA, we have ways of dealing with recalcitrant climate change scientists. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2056 Mr. Froibrushier, mind if I take a selfie with you? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2057 Bob was the one who used comic sans on the new business cards. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2058 Yes…and in the Bond Market they use ropes. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2059 Oh, he's just finishing up his internship here. Next week, he moves on to the bonds department. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2060 The new head of HR used to be a performance artist. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2061 Okay, these overdraft fees have gone too far. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2062 You know the type -- stocks in the office, bonds in the bedroom. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2063 He left out the Oxford comma. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2064 Does corporate art imitate corporate life? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2065 Maybe he'll think twice before microwaving chili without a lid. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2066 He was caught sitting at his standing desk. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2067 Don't pay any attention to him.He's just showing off his hole in one. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2068 We also offer mandatory stock options. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2069 He will do anything for attention. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2070 He was too casual on Friday. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2071 That reminds me to check my stocks. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2072 Ed forgot to change his password again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2073 His tie does not match. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2074 His sales were below expectation. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2075 Here at Facebook we take unfriending seriously. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2076 I am going to be late to the meeting. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2077 He totally misinterpreted the part about stock options. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2078 I thought O.T. was optional. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2079 Now THAT's a different way to recognize the Employee of the Month. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2080 That'll be the last time he uses the suggestion box. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2081 It was either that or they were going to fire him. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2082 No, we want the Bonds guy. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2083 He wanted to take down the statue of Trump. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2084 He denies global warming. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2085 The Suggestion Box was his idea. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2086 Did I tell you my stock broker recommended this place? 1.1622 0.09099 37 34 0 3
2087 He won't microwave fish in the lunchroom again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2088 I suggested a good bond fund, but he was content staying in stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2089 It's kind of the opposite of the stock-broker-of-the-month award. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2090 He hit "reply to all" too many times. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2091 HR said it was a position on Wall Street as a stock aide. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2092 It's the lock up period after going public. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2093 some things never go out of style. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2094 He hit "Reply All". 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2095 I hope his tie is not too tight. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2096 His "golden parachute" was the stockade option 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2097 He refused to tweet 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2098 How else was I going to heat up the tuna casserole? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2099 On the other hand, there's free yogurt in the break room. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2100 "He complained about the service ". 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2101 Oh, him? He's an originalist. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2102 The alternative was being dragged by the stagecoach. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2103 ...and that's our fitness center. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2104 He didn't vote for Trump.... 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2105 It's part of our new empathy initiative 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2106 Ed called one meeting too many. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2107 We've been outsourcing our performance reviews to a firm in Salem. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2108 He's lucky -- the last one got drowned as a witch 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2109 I don't think that was the stock he was planning on choosing. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2110 It must be "Take Your Hostage To Work Day." 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2111 I think they're shooting the third 50 Shades of Grey in this building. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2112 Quarter-cubicle sales guy. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2113 It would be cartoonishly humorous had he committed a minor breach of office etiquette. But no, he really did steal cattle. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2114 It's the latest model of the 'stand-up' desk. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2115 Oh, that's Howard. He couldn't sell enough bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2116 This is what happens when you are politically INcorrect ! 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2117 Its a medieval stretching technique 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2118 The way backward is the new way forward. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2119 Stop sending in the clones! 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2120 You only get one chance to make a first impression. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2121 He took out his phone during a meeting. The lock has a voice-activated password, but they think it's fun to just text message it to him all day. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2122 This is our new remedy for sexual harassment. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2123 Not sure that I care much for the new cubicle design. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2124 It was only a matter of time. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2125 The board of directors got golden parachutes. The tellers got five years in the stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2126 Freedom is for closers. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2127 Apparently he believed that the employee satisfaction survey was anonymous. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2128 Poor Shaffery. After the whole derivatives debacle, they transferred him to stocks and bonds. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2129 I'd prefer the dunk booth. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2130 The Monday Blues 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2131 He wasn't being disruptive enough 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2132 All of these start-ups try to lure you with stock options. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2133 Yeah, we were all shocked he chose the stocks package over a raise. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2134 Forget your key card again? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2135 He used 'reply all'. He knew the risks. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2136 I thought being moved to a cubicle was bad. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2137 ...and there's plenty of room to move up in this company. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2138 We also offer investment packages in more traditional stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2139 Sparky's really into stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2140 Happy 20 years with the firm Teddy. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2141 You may wish instead to go with bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2142 Fish tanks are so passé. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2143 Didn't you say he was getting into bonds? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2144 They really got serious about mid year reviews. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2145 He must have won the raffle. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2146 I knew he was into stocks and bonds, but stocks? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2147 Apparently, you can't vape either. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2148 But he works from home on Fridays. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2149 It was his choice. This or post the details to twitter. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2150 Maybe we should reconsider our stock options. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2151 Entre nous... decline the stock options. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2152 Is this your first time to Puritan Industries? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2153 Personally, I prefer bonds over stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2154 The company president does this every year on the day he is supposed to sign our bonus checks. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2155 Hit "Reply All" too many times 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2156 He was just way too happy on a Monday. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2157 We recommend stocks. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2158 Don't judge. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2159 That's the new campus free speech zone. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2160 Look, the bottom line is that he ate someone's lunch. I say let him rot. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2161 Oh, him? He's the new decorator. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2162 We warned you not to microwave fish in the office. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2163 "Verbal counseling" just isn't effective anymore. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2164 That's Al. He works in Stocks and Bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2165 He's the company scapegoat. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2166 Employee Performance Art 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2167 It's the next iteration of the standing desk. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2168 This hotel doesn't mess around if you try to take a towel 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2169 He spoke to his boss when he could have texted. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2170 People always forget the risks of the stock option 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2171 I don't like our new guidelines for peaceful protests 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2172 As employee of the week, he won't have to go to his cubicle. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2173 No more guillotine, it created more problems than it helped. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2174 As I said, we don't do layoffs here. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2175 I guess they meant it when they asked us to turn off our phones. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2176 Trump supporter or Hillary fan? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2177 He's from the stocks and bondage department. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2178 Wouldn't use gender-neutral pronouns. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2179 Damn that Oxford comma. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2180 Looks like the company's stock is up. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2181 Maybe next time you'll think twice about hitting 'Reply All' on a firmwide email. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2182 Too much time at the copier machine. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2183 Excuse me! Is my tie on straight? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2184 That's our company's latest execution strategy! 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2185 Are you sure this is the right address? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2186 I liked the old suggestion box. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2187 He mentioned Harvard too many times. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2188 It's the toughest part of peer review. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2189 He was transferred to the Texas office and wouldn't go. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2190 He's just back from Burning Man 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2191 The head of the company is a Progressive Puritan. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2192 Things haven't changed much in Salem, have they? 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2193 Cornell people... 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2194 He doesn't think our New Yorker cartoons are funny. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2195 Now I´ll show you what ´bonds´ means. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2196 Our salary and benefit package includes a unique stock option plan. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2197 And that's why you should read the small print... 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2198 He said something negative about Jeff Sessions. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2199 I guess he went against the grain. That tie certainly does. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2200 So much for truth to power 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2201 I tried to go in without an appointment. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2202 Tomatoes, remind me to get tomatoes. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2203 looks like the stocks went up 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2204 Oh look, the stocks are up. I wonder if that's the only demo model. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2205 He must have made the boss mad. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2206 His specialty is stocks and bondage. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2207 They call that art?? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2208 This isn't what I imagined when Ted said he worked in stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2209 Make sure you read that memo about using the Oxford comma. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2210 He should have opted for the preferred stock. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2211 You'll find the golden handcuffs here very comfortable. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2212 McNulty again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2213 Gives 'Stocks & Bonds' a whole new meaning... 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2214 HR is pretty strict in this company. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2215 He asked out the boss' daughter. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2216 Ugh, what an ugly tie. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2217 He's our stocks broker. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2218 It's part of our new employee stock option plan. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2219 And they call that 'art'. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2220 He should've stayed in bonds. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2221 He'll never ask the V.P. to bring him coffee again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2222 Hmmm, what's the Chiropractor's husband doing here in the lobby? 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2223 Your welcome packet will spell out company policies. Just the usual stuff. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2224 don't look now but i think he's the head hunter who recommended us 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2225 It looks like Harvey was caught stealing pencils again. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2226 I've never seen a public offering of stocks quite like that before. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2227 Oh, he's our employee for the month. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2228 So what's his stock in trade? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2229 Man they don't fool around with late fees here at all.......... 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2230 He voted for Trump. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2231 Seems like the "in or out" question of the tie has been settled -- out looks better. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2232 He used his birthday as his password. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2233 They're sure hard on puns here. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2234 Performance art of just blatant attention-grabbing? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2235 Be careful. That can happen to you if you don't go through the new security check point 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2236 Sorry Tom, but you did put curry in the office microwave. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2237 He was employee of the month before this. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2238 He said he wanted to be in stocks. It's a lesson in 'be careful what you wish for.' 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2239 Our very own DACA. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2240 He never started the next pot of coffee. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2241 Frank, we can't stay for the finale if we want to beat the traffic. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2242 Their products sure are revolutionary. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2243 I thought we were the "stock" market.... 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2244 I told him that tie was hideous. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2245 That's Paul - he opened more new accounts than anyone last month. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2246 Isn't that your stocks broker? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2247 He said he wanted stock options. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2248 He forgot to lower the seat. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2249 HR calls it "Making America Great Again". 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2250 That's NOT public humiliation. This is a private club. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2251 I thought he had more of a future in bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2252 That's our stock boy. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2253 He claims he didn't choose to be named Bob Lee 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2254 Hmm... I thought Charlie only dealt in bonds. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2255 He mishandled the accounts: lock, stock, and barrel. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2256 That's why I'm in bonds. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2257 It's the latest of Fox News' penalties for employee sexual harassment. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2258 Dexter had mentioned he dabbled in stocks. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2259 I don't think this is what they meant by, "Outside the box." 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2260 Trouble adjusting your standing desk again, Jim? 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2261 Nice mahogany. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2262 Maybe they misunderstood him to say "I choose stocks over bondage". 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2263 He used "privilege" as a verb. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2264 He forgot the coffee. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2265 The firm is installing new organic, environmentally friendly, locally sourced, vertical work spaces 1.1622 0.09099 37 34 0 3
2266 Who in HR sent out that email? The policy change was about employee retention, not detention. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2267 I told him, they take "Tie Dye Friday" very seriously. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2268 The CEO is kind of Puritanical 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2269 He put fish in the microwave. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2270 Yes, Mr. Trump thought he was a leaker. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2271 When he said he was in stocks, that's not what I pictured. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2272 He apparently didn't put one of the new coversheets on his TPS reports. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2273 He took the last cup and didn't make a new pot. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2274 Microwaved fish then ate his desk. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2275 Oh look, there is the new stock option . . . 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2276 I'm really anxious about team meeting Monday. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2277 He' trying out a standing desk. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2278 It's payback for the glass ceiling. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2279 He didn't double check before he hit send. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2280 Looks like someone accidentally replied all. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2281 I'm betting it's not the employee of the month... 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2282 Last week he was a senior advisor to Trump. He just can't shed that abused demeanor. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2283 He was playing computer games, on company time. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2284 Performance art... I just don't get it! 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2285 Yeah, company stocks is one of our employee benefits . . . 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2286 We recommend stocks. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2287 Corporate couldn't terminate Fred until the lawsuit was settled. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2288 His exit package included a stock option. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2289 I could never work in stocks. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2290 Hester got off easy! 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2291 He was taking too many selfies at work. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2292 Trump claims it increases productivity, 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2293 Must have missed HR's memo describing the new "stock option" plan. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2294 That's how stockbrokers meditate. 1.1622 0.08232 37 33 2 2
2295 Apparently he misunderstood what was meant by stock options. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2296 Standing desks are so last year. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2297 We used to date, but there was always a wall between us. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2298 They charged him with being puritanically still. 1.1622 0.06143 37 31 6 0
2299 Looks like Steve's contract included stockade options. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2300 The employee of the week gets a parking space. 1.1622 0.07263 37 32 4 1
2301 He was caught leaving the office early. 1.1591 0.05578 44 37 7 0
2302 Psst! I think he got bagged for opening the door for a woman. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2303 Looks like Higgins left his dirty mug in the sink again. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2304 Speakerphone. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2305 After we installed this we received fewer complaints about the waiting room 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2306 In today's world, it will take more than that to call attention to yourself. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2307 He's auditioning for Trump's cabinet. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2308 I guess you could say the stocks are back to what they used to be. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2309 Keurig mooching. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2310 The boss has been watching too much Game of Thrones 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2311 Hacker penalty! Try to crack that. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2312 I'm told he called the receptionist a 'cunt' 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2313 It's our new CEO's twist on "Employee of The Month." 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2314 Honey look pillory is not dead... 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2315 I hear he's moving into bonds next week. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2316 I told him that was an ugly tie 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2317 I'm applying for a position with HR. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2318 Well I see the stock market is back. 1.1579 0.07082 38 33 4 1
2319 Well, it looks like a nice day for hangin' in. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2320 I told you, they specialize in business stocks. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2321 It's a new rule. Instead of saying "you're fired", the boss now says "You're humiliated." Albert has to stay there until someone else is relegated to that punishment. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2322 Ted, just hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete. 1.1579 0.05995 38 32 6 0
2323 The office whistler... Cher was the last straw. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2324 THAT naughty doggy is ripe for a good fucking. 1.1579 0.08024 38 34 2 2
2325 Another boundary-setting workshop gone wrong. 1.1562 0.06521 32 27 5 0
2326 In-house performance artist 1.1562 0.06521 32 27 5 0
2327 I've still interviewed at stranger places. 1.1562 0.06521 32 27 5 0
2328 What a shame! Did you see the holes they carved into that gorgeous wood? 1.1562 0.07918 32 28 3 1
2329 Was it Warhol who said, "art is whatever you can get away with"? 1.1562 0.07918 32 28 3 1
2330 They are a good company but their HR Department is a little behind the times. 1.1562 0.07918 32 28 3 1
2331 That's the one who laughed at the meeting when the CEO's cabinet appointment was announced. 1.1538 0.07826 39 35 2 2
2332 It's from the company's performance art collection. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
2333 That's Glen. Should've read the fine print before buying company stock. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
2334 The new standing desks are supposed to be great for carpal tunnel. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
2335 He had it coming, all his e-mails were written in comic sans. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
2336 Turns out he's an immigrant. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
2337 He refused the voluntary biochip implant 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2338 That's why no one complains to HR. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2339 He used "which" when he should have used "that". 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2340 Looks like there running out of cells 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2341 They aren't kidding around about the "no cellphones while in line" 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2342 And, here is one of our board directors. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2343 We've now fused H.R. and Marketing. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2344 We can't pay much, but offer stock options 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2345 Are you sure we have an appointment? I don't see any chairs... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2346 They've started taking Sarbanes Oxley pretty seriously around here. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2347 Do you think the office obsession with Game of Thrones has gone a bit too far. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2348 He forgot to put up the toilet seat 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2349 It's a promising treatment for those addicted to taking "selfies." 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2350 As you know this is a conservative company and it uses colonial methods to achieve its goals. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2351 Oh, that's John. He asked his boss for a raise. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2352 That's a very unfortunate necktie." 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2353 They say you should spend at least 5 minutes out of every hour being pilloried. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2354 You're in a tow-away zone, Ned. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2355 Got caught stealing snacks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2356 Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2357 That scared me! For a second I thought it was a TV-screen. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2358 Medieval Management wants to reduce sitting time. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2359 He usually lunches at his desk. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2360 Pruitt's Pillory? Oh it's been a game changer... 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2361 I liked it a lot better when it was just hanging on the wall. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2362 He should get into bonds. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2363 I see he's out of bonds. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2364 Not exactly what I had in mind when I think of stocks investments 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2365 He clicked reply all. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2366 He forgot to reply all. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2367 Pillory performance art or actual pillory? I'm never really sure anymore. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2368 Trump Tower looks a lot different the last time I was here. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2369 I hear it was built into the Wells Fargo settlement. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2370 And this is what happens at this firm when you make a bad stock deal. Don’t you just love the irony? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2371 It looks like our company's stocks are up! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2372 If you come to work here, you DON'T want to be late to meetings.... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2373 Our company has a different take on stock options. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2374 Oh, how the mighty fall from 'Employee of the Month'. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2375 Maybe now he'll stop hitting "reply all." 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2376 Wanted to be closer to his stock. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2377 Damn, I applied for that position last week 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2378 Well, at least stocks are up. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2379 "Oh, that's just Nick on his afternoon break. He relaxes his neck by stretching with this home-made medieval set up. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2380 He missed his sales quota. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2381 He thought America 'was' great. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2382 Prison overcrowding is worse than I thought. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2383 They love to show off their latest products in the waiting room. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2384 He was caught stealing pencils. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2385 (Sigh) Did he eat Linda's sandwich again? 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2386 He still uses "his instead of "their" 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2387 Locked up, not Linkedin." 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2388 He used to work at Google. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2389 That's just for a late fee. The bounce checks go to the dungeon. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2390 If people don't start treating me better around here, more of THIS will happen. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2391 They are trying to make the workplace a little more traditional. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2392 I knew it was a bad idea to take the stock option! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2393 Severence packages aren't what they used to be. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2394 He's considered a security risk but we didn't want to fire him. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2395 The microwave still smells of fish. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2396 It's part of our effort to stay true to our founder's ideals. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2397 He refuses to eat kale. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2398 He's supposed to be running a bond fund, but he was 100% in stocks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2399 We have a very aggressive incentive program. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2400 Yes, but is it art? 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2401 It cuts down on the office hijinks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2402 Bonds are looking better these days. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2403 He came into complain about being placed on hold all the time. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2404 His choice, either this or wear a large B for Breitbart supporter on his suit! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2405 I don't think that is what he meant when he asked his broker to put him some good stocks. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2406 It's just a new way of holding our employees accountable. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2407 Don't ever put fish in the office microwave. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2408 Looks like their stocks are doing well. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2409 More cost reductions! I mean come on, we cant't afford toothpicks to keep his eyelids open 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2410 They're really tough on stock options here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2411 He is politically incoherent, tweets too much, and wears too long a tie. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2412 He couldn't stop tweeting. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2413 Well, it's not like they haven't established any order here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2414 Bob's new diet is really working. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2415 Now that the government is cost-cutting, all economic criminals are under “house arrest”. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2416 We can talk bonds, IRAs or just get you right into some stocks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2417 Mandatory break. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2418 Our "no spoilers" policy is fairly strict. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2419 He responded with "Reply All" on the boss's email thread. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2420 We don't have the square footage for a perp walk. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2421 Working in stocks hasn't been the same since 2008. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2422 He didn't return the bathroom key. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2423 They say that the new boss has a tendency to stifle initiative. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2424 Someday Sven will learn not to microwave fish in the office. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2425 It's a very Puritanical company. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2426 For the Management performance survey, he accidently clicked on “reply to All” 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2427 We don't tolerate irony here at Shackle, Shackle and Shackle. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2428 They were going to get a Damien Hirst for the lobby. Guess they decided employee performance art was cheaper. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2429 Hi, Joe 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2430 They re-purposed his stand up desk. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2431 He was our sole dissenting stockholder until corporate decided to pillory him. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2432 He's worked his way up from the stock room! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2433 So now we know who burnt the popcorn in the microwave! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2434 Don't cross HR. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2435 He's always complaining that nobody likes him around here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2436 I would have taken the community service option..... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2437 He was seen eating his boogers. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2438 He was desperate for a spot on the board. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2439 That's Bob. He put trash in the recycling bin. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2440 He preferred the stocks; is like bondage. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2441 Too bad we didn't bring any tomatoes. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2442 He said 'please.' 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2443 Looks like somebody got caught speaking truth to power again. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2444 He refused to think outside the box. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2445 Don't stare, it's not polite. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2446 He kept bugging the boss for a standing desk. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2447 It's some type of corporate art therapy. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2448 Everything's retro these days. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2449 So then the SEC has manipulated his stocks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2450 He wore white after Labor Day 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2451 Didn't have enough billable hours 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2452 He used to think stocks were so great. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2453 He left a used K-cup in the Keurig 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2454 He's having a Middle Ages crisis... 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2455 This is one work place that you have the chance to see what is behind door #3. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2456 This month's art installation isn't working for me. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2457 He didn't read the fine print when he took our company's stock options 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2458 That'll teach him not to heat fish in the staff microwave. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2459 Personally, I prefer mutuals! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2460 He took the CEO’s request for honest feedback at face value. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2461 Bad employee of the month. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2462 Gee, that's great. I'd heard he'd been whacked! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2463 Our new corporate curator comes from the Whitney. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2464 The building owner's a collector. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2465 He wouldn't stop talking about Bitcoin, so they put him in shackles. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2466 New employees have limited stock options. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2467 We do "Employee of the Month" a little differently here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2468 Stocks and bondage has a nice ring to it. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2469 Sometimes old techniques are still effective. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2470 He never really understood the stock option 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2471 His necktie clashes with his stocks! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2472 He pushed all the buttons in the elevator. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2473 ...and of course, our compensation package includes stock options. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2474 That's the new art piece? or No Guillotine? or It's part of the new fed regulations. or He thinks he's Marie Antoinette. or Larry needed a time out. or I didn't believe him when he said his hands were tied. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2475 I think I'd just prefer the boss to say, "You're fired!" 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2476 This art keeps getting more violent. I've heard that next week they are hanging a painting. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2477 At least it's better than the guillotine. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2478 He complained about his cubicle being too confining. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2479 Him? He kept cooking fish in the microwave. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2480 Bet he won't use the executive wash room again. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2481 He pinned up a New Yorker cartoon in his cubicle without the express written permission of Condé Nast. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2482 Wells Fargo, "Employee of the Week." 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2483 It looks like Jim just LOCKED into a fixed rate Pillory loan this morning. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2484 The boss is from Pilgrim stock 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2485 His memo went viral. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2486 He must be the new guy. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2487 I still think the water feature worked better there. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2488 He got caught watching 'Game of Thrones' during a staff meeting 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2489 Misogynistic rant again? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2490 Oh that's just Bill, the head of the board. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2491 He "Replied to all" too many times 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2492 Some sort of misunderstand about wanting more company stock. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2493 You can never be too careful with stocks options. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2494 He just got transferred from the Middle Ages. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2495 It's art, but is it nice? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2496 looks like their stock isn't going anywhere 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2497 Now I see why on the phone he always tells me his hands are tied. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2498 They are really serious about your not taking long lunch hours. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2499 Last week he was bullish on bonds. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2500 He missed the team building session. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2501 I'm glad we started publicly shaming all of our coworkers who still start conversations with "I hate Mondays" 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2502 Technology rendered him ineffectual. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2503 As you can see to your left, our company is very committed to empowering women in the workplace. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2504 With a generous benefits package, our employees can take a lot of abuse. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2505 Today is the board meeting. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2506 Caught leaking info., public shaming and no Starbucks for two weeks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2507 Lesson learned. Don't disagree with our President. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2508 Republican management. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2509 It's the one unforgivable sin for a bank teller: Sock puppetry. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2510 He missed his sales quota. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2511 Boss said we needed to get our stock up. People misunderstood, but it's turned out to be great for productivity. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2512 When they said their stock would go up, but this wasn't what I visualized. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2513 They take raiding the lunch room fridge very seriously! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2514 He wore a suit on Friday. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2515 ...and there you see our Employee of the Month. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2516 He thought the conference room booking policy was a joke. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2517 These street artists are so creative. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2518 His stocks are holding up. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2519 He once was a great stock picker. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2520 I think he questioned building the wall. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2521 I told him to stay in bonds. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2522 Hey, it's better then the HR meetings they used to make you have when you had too many compliance violations. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2523 It's the third time he's come in under quota. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2524 You'll find we shame our underperforming stockbrokers literally here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2525 He brought his kids to work. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2526 He "replied all" to an everyone group e-mail. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2527 He's been fiddling with the company stock, so we thought it was an appropriate punishment. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2528 Yes, our company stock sharing program is quite unique. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2529 Jim Replied All again. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2530 He believed in diplomacy first. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2531 It’s instead of ‘Employee of the Month’. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2532 He told the boss his ideas were obsolete. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2533 He refused to "like" the CEO's new puppy pics. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2534 He insisted on being invested in a public stock. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2535 I'm surprised he took the stock option. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2536 Yep . . . stockbroker. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2537 Why can't they just disable your password before your exit interview. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2538 He made another one of his 'suggestions'..... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2539 It's Bring Your Fetish to Work Day. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2540 We're not real big on thinking outside the box here. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2541 No collared shirt last casual Friday. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2542 He shouldn't be hanging out in the lobby. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2543 He's locked out of his fantasy football picks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2544 You said George worked in stocks and bonds, but... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2545 Here at the Tower there is a standing order to "Pillory Hillary" and the receptionist called security when he signed in as the son of that British mountain climber. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2546 So he's the one who put the juicer in the break room. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2547 It's the company punishment for making air quotes. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2548 I have reservations about management's new performance improvement program. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2549 He thought they were referring to their IPO. He was wrong. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2550 A pending execution always sharpens one's mind. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2551 He's in the old retirement plan. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2552 Someone had to take the rap. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2553 He must of had a different idea. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2554 He said that he wanted to get into stocks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2555 He said he had a lot of experience in stocks, so HR thought that would be funny. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2556 He should've taken the buyout. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2557 Touched the thermostat 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2558 Oh, he's my stock analyst. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2559 His team found out he voted for Trump. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2560 And that's Bob from the Salem office. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2561 We have an extremely diversified stock portfolio. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2562 "remind to add that stock to my portfolio". 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2563 I think he fraudulently selling bonds. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2564 Picked the wrong stocks, I guess. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2565 He is still on probation. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2566 He probably forgot his badge , again. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2567 Modern art is getting out of hands 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2568 I hear the CEO suffers from a real "persecution complex. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2569 Well, he's finished at this company, but he's as good as any Walmart greeter I've ever seen. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2570 Our president calls it the "crooked pillory." 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2571 He made inappropriate comments to his treadmill desk. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2572 It may not be art but we know what we like 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2573 To answer your question, yes, we do have penalties for early withdrawal. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2574 They're very strict here. No ties with dots. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2575 I guess that's what the memo meant about getting public stock. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2576 The benefits package may be good, but the stock options are constrained 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2577 Yeah, our stock's down today. Usually it's up in the cafeteria. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2578 As our new intern, don't tell the brokers getting into stocks is easy. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2579 I miss the bucket of ripe tomatoes. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2580 He wore white after Labor Day 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2581 They can't test the guillotine. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2582 I know sitting is the new smoking, but that's ridiculous. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2583 HR will explain our creative stock options packages for new employees. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2584 That's what happens sometimes when you hit "Reply All." 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2585 He microwaved fish. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2586 Best not to ask about stock options.. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2587 That brings a whole new look to tie die. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2588 That's the CEO's timeout. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2589 Fred’s the last guy I’d think of as being into stocks and bondage. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2590 If you lie on your tax return you pay the consequences. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2591 He punched his time card a minute early. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2592 '--- but he persisted' 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2593 It's the quaint old fashioned little touches that I like about this place, 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2594 He used his personal email for work. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2595 He just won't stop hitting "Reply All". 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2596 Oh good, you made it through that yellow light. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2597 Touched the thermostat 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2598 I see Eric's won the employee of the month again. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2599 It's a penalty for early withdrawal. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2600 Just don't ask for a raise and you'll be fine. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2601 Don't pity him. He's got a 401(k) and full health care. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2602 They used to just encourage people to find another job. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2603 The Attorney General does not like to be laughed at. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2604 No cell phones allowed I see! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2605 It's the "Think Again" tank. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2606 Forget modern art, medieval art is the latest craze. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2607 I warned him not to get into stocks. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2608 Oh, him? He's serving a micro-punishment for violating multiple trigger warnings. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2609 His 'hands-off' approach got to his head. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2610 This office fantasy football league has gone too far. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2611 The firm is very proud of its long tradition. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2612 He forgot to update the security software, and 140 million customers got hacked. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2613 Maybe I won't ask if they validate parking. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2614 He won't be drawing this week's New Yorker cartoon. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2615 They've replaced 'verbal warning' in the progressive discipline process. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2616 He wore that tie on business casual Friday! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2617 Hows that for a plunge, 80th floor senior partner to this. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2618 And here is our unemployee of the month. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2619 He sent an email that should have been a pointless meeting. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2620 This company is so Puritanical! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2621 Remember what your Mom said. 'It's not polite to stare.' 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2622 It was that or bonds. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2623 I guess it is better than getting your pay docked... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2624 I heard he microwaved fish in the break room last week. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2625 Can't wait to see what they've been doing with our bonds... 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2626 You cannot go wrong with a skinny tie! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2627 What are you staring at? 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2628 "You're in luck, there's only one in front of you"! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2629 Oh him? He's our new stock analyst. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2630 I know where I can find some rotten apples . 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2631 It's our 3-D printed downtown jacket. Catalog only. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2632 I see the company's stock is up. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2633 He left a voicemail 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2634 This is Stocks, we should be in the Bonds dept. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2635 I'm glad to see we're getting back to our old fashioned values. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2636 He's our stock picker. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2637 Oh, is that one of your stockholders? 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2638 Stocks are up again. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2639 He failed his Ethics Retraining. Our HR department is pretty strict. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2640 It's to make it easy for our head hunter. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2641 Gives new meaning to stock options. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2642 Well, he did say he wanted to have a major stock in the company. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2643 He's awaiting his disciplinary hearing with H.R. tomorrow. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2644 Well, he WAS warned not to text while in board meetings..... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2645 Lockup period. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2646 My broker advised us to stay away from those stocks.. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2647 Fidget spinner violation, third offense. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2648 He stole a toaster. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2649 I still think they should have put him in bonds. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2650 At Puritan Hardware, we take missed sales quota seriously. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2651 That wall decor would fit perfectly into some stupid cartoon. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2652 He used to be in bonds. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2653 He pushed all of the elevator buttons. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2654 Performance art? No I don't think so, Ed. Remember who's in the White House. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2655 He took the severence package. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2656 He forgot his PIN, again. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2657 Intersting... he's normally wearing a bow-tie 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2658 Employee of the month ain't what it used to be 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2659 We take the weekly football pool pretty seriously around here. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2660 Good thing we taught our kids not to text too much. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2661 I think you have crossed over the event horizon. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2662 I believe he was caught eating someone else's lunch. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2663 Jeez!! I told Tim to stay out of stocks. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2664 There's a matching one in the conference room. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2665 To be fair, George, you're the one who demanded a more transparent corporate culture. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2666 Quite a demonstration in this suicide prevention clinic. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2667 You'd think he'd learn already. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2668 Well, if I were management I wouldn't have handled it like that, but his hands really were too small for the job. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2669 Did I mention that microwaving leftover fish is a no-no? 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2670 Another reality show applicant. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2671 I'm still not sure about these new ergonomic work-desks 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2672 I told him to stay away from Stocks 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2673 This is what happens when you don't diversify and go completely into stocks! 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
2674 Jeez, this place is tough on their interns! 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2675 It's nice to see a financial advisor who actually researches stocks. 1.1429 0.08344 35 32 1 2
2676 Classic Bill: always the kidder around bonus time. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2677 He's the Head of the Social Media Department, he's in the stocks because he didn't get enough shares. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
2678 So much for political correctness in the Trump era 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
2679 Should I pull on his tie so he will know what's he's in for? 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2680 Well, if you can think of a better way to get people to stop using "reply all" I'd love to hear it. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2681 I should tell you that we do have strict sales quotas. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2682 He was encouraged to speak openly 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2683 It's new policy when you don't hit your numbers. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2684 That's not art. That's Art. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2685 I heard that stocks were going to go up. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2686 I see the company's stock is up. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2687 These are the real stocks and bonds guys. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2688 My headache doesn't require a second opinion anymore. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2689 Oh, Ted there's just really into stocks and bonds. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2690 threw out his receipt ticket. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2691 He thought the Alt-Right was a type of country music so he liked their Facebook page. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2692 The stock market can be confining for some investors.... 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2693 Oh, I'm not sure it captures enough reality to make it really work for me. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2694 At least he's not tarred and feathered. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2695 Not what I expected when I read they were leaders in the stock market. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2696 We've been exploring new stock options. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2697 Here we're old school. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2698 I see Jeanine is on a power trip again. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2699 He's been quite successful investing in stocks. 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2700 Jones was never astute in choosing stock options. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
2701 Poor guy. He used "reply all" one too many times. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
2702 That's Jim from corporate. He wanted to disrupt the industry a little too much. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
2703 That gives a whole new meaning to 'employee of the month'. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
2704 he's, like, a centrist? i don't know, who cares 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
2705 I guess that promotion request didn't quite work out for him. 1.1389 0.05846 36 31 5 0
2706 Poetic justice for crashing the stock exchange. 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
2707 Thank God the higher ups have done away with being drawn and quartered! 1.1389 0.07074 36 32 3 1
2708 He was hired as a greeter but kept wandering off. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
2709 He wasn't kidding when he said he was getting into stocks. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
2710 He claimed white privilege again. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
2711 He's the entertainment for lunchtime. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
2712 The artist calls it Pillory Clinton. It's a real covfefe, if you ask me. 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
2713 Don't feed the underachievers. 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
2714 Frank, I told you what happens at home stays at home! 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
2715 I'd rather die than be seen in that 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
2716 I guess he brought up paternal leave again. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2717 The trick is to not make eye contact. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2718 For some reason I don't think he's going to do well in stocks. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2719 I told him not to take more paper clips. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2720 We're doing our part, making America great again. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2721 So there's the stocks. Now where are the bonds? 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2722 It looks like Bradly forgot his password again. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2723 Having health insurance really does have it's advantages. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2724 I told you not to hit "Reply all" on an email 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2725 He provides stock aid. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2726 Jimmy used the wrong pronoun. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2727 Rents received after the 10th are subject to a $100 late fee or........ 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2728 just so you know, don't ask for stock aide options 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2729 I'm sure you'll have some questions about our employee stock program. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2730 I don't think that's helping make our lobby look any less nondescript. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2731 He didn't tape all 4 sides of his receipts to his expense report. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2732 The pitch is to get retirees into stocks. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2733 That's the result of leaving the lid up in our gender neutral bathrooms. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2734 He paid the rack rate, but he'll save on transportation. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2735 Another reply all and he gets the rack 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2736 He's the guy that sent the 'Reply All' to the company-wide email. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2737 It's the corporate art rotation program. This month's is called Stocks and Bondage. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2738 Ted didn't submit timecards on time. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2739 He got tired of saying "You're fired!". 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2740 Wagner. Twelfth floor. Accounting. Asked the summer intern to drive his daughter's soccer carpool while he went to "Hamilton." 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2741 It's not so bad. There's plenty of potential for upward mobility. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2742 I thought it was Corporal NOT Corporate Punishment! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2743 They failed to use the preferred gender pronoun. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2744 Yeah, right now he's in stocks, but he used to be in bonds. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2745 It's a pun. Bonds are one floor up. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2746 If you'd witnessed his behavior at the office party, you'd understand. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2747 Employee of the Month Not. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2748 That reminds me. Be sure to make your sales quota. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2749 He must've said the news was real 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2750 So, that's the penalty for early withdrawal. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2751 He's just letting his hands rest from the computer use. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2752 Pant suits suck. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2753 They've diversified into stocks and bondage. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2754 The new 'employee of the month'! 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2755 We have a very empathetic CEO. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2756 Caught using Android. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2757 He started in the board room. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2758 An accurate representation of todays life, very few people worry about others in their times of need. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2759 After his bad experience, it's sad to see Fred back into stocks! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2760 He forgot to water the plants. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2761 He was caught watching Renaissance porn on the internet 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2762 Oh that? That's a promotion. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2763 Looks like the newest candidate for their stocks portfolio 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2764 Just because his tie is too long? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2765 he's in Stocks and Bonds.. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2766 Guess it is true that Rob got out of bonds and into stocks. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2767 Picked the wrong stock. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2768 I hear mixed reviews about the stock options. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2769 are you still thinking about the employee stock option? 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2770 The next time he's late, he gets branded with an L. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2771 What do you think he's in for?" "Going over the caption limitation 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2772 The new HR administrator believes in old school punishment. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2773 He's on digital detox. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2774 Looks like he got really stuck at this job. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2775 Poor James. He must have offended Donald. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29