Contest #581


Cartoon

581


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started 2017-08-28
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued 2017-09-10 (estimated)
Number of captions 5694
Number of responses 203573
Number of participants 6426


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Expect a chilly reception at the circumcision symposium. 1.9356 0.02098 2003 951 230 822
1 Take it. You mother worries. 1.7101 0.09484 69 34 21 14
2 Your mother wanted me to give you this. 1.7045 0.02525 1171 661 195 315
3 For Heavens sake, just try it on. 1.6879 0.04296 314 155 102 57
4 It gets chilly at night in the desert. 1.6815 0.02970 879 525 109 245
5 Put this on, take two tablets, and call me in the morning. 1.6533 0.03111 649 355 164 130
6 What else would I do with the sacrificial lamb? 1.6486 0.04652 313 180 63 70
7 ...and this is just one sample of what I can do with the foreskins. 1.6468 0.03582 603 377 62 164
8 Yes, 'honor thy mother' means wearing the sweater she knitted you. 1.6421 0.05321 190 97 64 29
9 Thy wool be done. 1.6013 0.04399 311 180 75 56
10 Lord and Tailor 1.5947 0.05776 190 114 39 37
11 Because I'm your Father and I said so. 1.5850 0.03981 347 197 97 53
12 No, this is a Suggestion, not a Commandment. 1.5845 0.05763 142 75 51 16
13 So that's why you had me sacrifice the sheep? 1.5826 0.03936 345 194 101 50
14 #11 Thou Shall Not Regift 1.5721 0.05212 201 116 55 30
15 You climb nearly 7500 feet and you don't bring a sweater? 1.5676 0.04890 185 98 69 18
16 People who bought tablets also bought this. 1.5667 0.04598 300 188 54 58
17 Beat that, Amazon! 1.5644 0.05104 225 136 51 38
18 It's not a commandment, just a suggestion. 1.5638 0.04322 298 176 76 46
19 Not a commandment. Just a suggestion. 1.5551 0.04438 272 160 73 39
20 Like everything else, I made it myself. 1.5486 0.04832 257 161 51 45
21 For every ten we throw in a free sweater. 1.5447 0.04575 257 154 66 37
22 Forty days and nights and all you brought were slippers and a housecoat? 1.5440 0.05202 182 105 55 22
23 Couldn't you just change the weather? 1.5345 0.04882 232 143 54 35
24 Thou shalt not machine wash. 1.5333 0.04829 240 149 54 37
25 Read them over; if I say you need a sweater, you need a sweater. 1.5298 0.05596 168 102 43 23
26 Thy wool be done. 1.5247 0.04956 223 139 51 33
27 Not a commandment. Just a suggestion. 1.5247 0.04874 223 137 55 31
28 Trust me: they'll be more likely to listen if you're not in your bathrobe. 1.5202 0.05413 173 105 46 22
29 Not now, Mom! 1.5196 0.05565 179 113 39 27
30 One more thing before you go, is this sweater white and gold or blue and black? 1.5166 0.05132 211 134 45 32
31 It's a Christmas sweater. Someday you'll understand. 1.5164 0.05265 213 139 38 36
32 Yes, it's Egyptian cotton, but, Mose, nobody needs to know! 1.5144 0.05054 208 130 49 29
33 This is not a commandment. Just a suggestion. 1.5143 0.05017 210 131 50 29
34 Put this sweater on, take those 2 tablets, and call me in the morning. 1.5122 0.05063 205 128 49 28
35 It's not a commandment, but if you love Me you'll wear it. 1.5121 0.04932 207 127 54 26
36 What do you mean, how do I know your size? 1.5098 0.04987 204 126 52 26
37 Here, keep warm, take the two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.5075 0.05373 199 130 37 32
38 Your mom wanted me to give you this. 1.5075 0.05466 199 132 33 34
39 Lord, where do you find the time? 1.5035 0.05923 141 87 37 17
40 Take two tablets, bundle up, and call me if you feel any more symptoms. 1.5033 0.05934 151 96 34 21
41 I think you are looking for Joseph! 1.5000 0.09688 62 41 11 10
42 This wasn't what I had in mind when I asked for your help with climate change. 1.4973 0.05108 187 116 49 22
43 Put this on, take the tablets and call me tomorrow! 1.4973 0.05362 183 117 41 25
44 God commands, but Amazon delivers. 1.4973 0.05417 183 118 39 26
45 Mom? 1.4972 0.05519 181 118 36 27
46 Customers who viewed this item also viewed . . . . 1.4972 0.05519 181 118 36 27
47 This one's more like a suggestion. 1.4946 0.05339 184 118 41 25
48 Lead the Chosen People to Iceland instead. It will be less complicated in the long run. 1.4917 0.05519 181 119 35 27
49 You know how I worry. 1.4917 0.05234 181 114 45 22
50 Thou shalt not bleach. Thou shalt not tumble dry. Thou shalt not dry clean. 1.4888 0.05591 178 118 33 27
51 I write a little, I smite a little, but on the seventh day, I knit. 1.4882 0.05486 170 109 39 22
52 11. Dry Clean Only 1.4882 0.05226 170 105 47 18
53 I know, I know, I was supposed to rest on the seventh day, but I just love to knit. 1.4882 0.05612 170 111 35 24
54 Tell Aaron that I answered his prayer and got the stain out. Next time, he should just try a little seltzer water. 1.4818 0.05778 137 85 38 14
55 Something to go with your birkenstocks. 1.4797 0.05813 123 74 39 10
56 Is that you, Amazon? 1.4790 0.05875 167 114 26 27
57 You get one free when you buy two tablets. 1.4790 0.05751 167 112 30 25
58 ...Also, tell them to stop using masculine pronouns when they're talking about me. 1.4783 0.08664 69 45 15 9
59 I'll deliver your commandments, but I draw the line at dropping off your dry cleaning. 1.4747 0.05658 158 103 35 20
60 Thou shalt hand wash and tumble dry 1.4717 0.05339 159 100 43 16
61 A turtleneck, Lord? Wasn't forty years in the desert enough? 1.4717 0.05769 159 106 31 22
62 The 11th Commandment: Never Pay Retail. 1.4681 0.05564 141 88 40 13
63 Take two of these, call me in the morning...and put on your sweater, it's chilly. 1.4679 0.05637 156 102 35 19
64 The first observance of Pullover. 1.4679 0.05993 156 107 25 24
65 Thou shalt lay flat to dry 1.4679 0.05710 156 103 33 20
66 First put this on. Then take two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.4675 0.05911 154 104 28 22
67 I forgot one -- thou shalt dress in layers. 1.4675 0.05225 154 95 46 13
68 And mother insists I give you this. 1.4675 0.05766 154 102 32 20
69 It's a hand me down. 1.4675 0.05983 154 105 26 23
70 Listen, it's not a commandment. It's a suggestion. 1.4662 0.05625 148 95 37 16
71 And also, do you want this? It's not my size. 1.4662 0.05706 148 96 35 17
72 You ordered all ten! Congratulations and here's your free hoodie. 1.4641 0.05867 153 103 29 21
73 And thou shalt not machine wash 1.4641 0.05643 153 100 35 18
74 Pants when you finish the next 10. 1.4636 0.05775 151 100 32 19
75 And this commandment is from your mother. 1.4636 0.05620 151 98 36 17
76 Here. My son doesn't wear it anymore. 1.4636 0.05851 151 101 30 20
77 The first "Ugly Christmas sweater" was a 'hand me down' 1.4636 0.05775 151 100 32 19
78 It's going to snow. Trust me. 1.4636 0.05541 151 97 38 16
79 This one's more of a suggestion. 1.4636 0.05926 151 102 28 21
80 Do you want this? I accidentally put it in the dryer. 1.4636 0.05851 151 101 30 20
81 Now try it as a folk singer. 1.4625 0.07743 80 52 19 9
82 No, I personally think 'Thou shalt always bring a sweater just in case" is great advice, but I think ten is a nice round number. 1.4621 0.06027 132 86 31 15
83 And point out that with every ten commandments, they will receive a free winter garment. 1.4615 0.06099 143 97 26 20
84 Sorry, did I say "Canaan"? I meant "Canada". 1.4615 0.05852 143 94 32 17
85 And while you're down there, could you return this for me? They sent the wrong size. 1.4615 0.05681 143 92 36 15
86 Climate change is coming 1.4615 0.05594 143 91 38 14
87 Thank heaven it's not another tablet! 1.4599 0.05770 137 88 35 14
88 Better to have it and not need it, then need it and not have it. Eleven. 1.4571 0.06029 140 94 28 18
89 Number 11 - Always take a sweater. 1.4552 0.05788 145 96 32 17
90 Sweaters are fine. Just don't wear socks with those sandals. 1.4552 0.05871 145 97 30 18
91 Please don't tell me you made that sweater with the Lamb of God. 1.4552 0.05788 145 96 32 17
92 ...so it's true . You are a woman 1.4545 0.06096 143 98 25 20
93 Yes it’s black and white…you were expecting one of many colors? 1.4521 0.07310 73 45 23 5
94 Put this on, take two more tablets and call me in the morning. 1.4519 0.05635 135 86 37 12
95 ...Oh, and see if anyone lost this. 1.4519 0.05922 135 89 31 15
96 Here, I made this on the eighth day. 1.4519 0.05732 135 87 35 13
97 Honour thy father and mother. Also, your mother says to wear a sweater. 1.4519 0.05828 135 88 33 14
98 Sorry, you don't have enough cloud storage." 1.4519 0.05922 135 89 31 15
99 Because I said so. 1.4519 0.05922 135 89 31 15
100 The moral high ground can get a little chilly. 1.4519 0.06106 135 91 27 17
101 Wear this in the desert; it will add to your suffering. 1.4507 0.06127 142 98 24 20
102 Thou shalt not re-gift. 1.4507 0.06045 142 97 26 19
103 I said, "Thou shalt knit," not "Thou shalt not" 1.4493 0.05640 138 89 36 13
104 ...for when it's a cold day in Hell... 1.4493 0.07596 69 43 21 5
105 Proof that God is a woman. 1.4419 0.06313 129 89 23 17
106 Look, just wear it, OK? Your mother’s been pestering me. 1.4416 0.07038 77 48 24 5
107 "I told you that God was a Jewish mother". 1.4403 0.06223 134 93 23 18
108 Take these two tablets, stay warm and get plenty of rest. 1.4403 0.05947 134 90 29 15
109 Once a Jewish mother, always a Jewish mother. 1.4403 0.06040 134 91 27 16
110 Proof that God is a Mother. 1.4403 0.06040 134 91 27 16
111 Oh God, please don't make me wear that! 1.4403 0.05851 134 89 31 14
112 Alexa, I'm cold. 1.4403 0.06040 134 91 27 16
113 Winter is coming. 1.4394 0.06013 132 89 28 15
114 Here....that burning bush won't keep you warm forever.... 1.4341 0.05911 129 86 30 13
115 Wear this. God forbid you should catch a cold. 1.4341 0.06307 129 90 22 17
116 11. Dry Clean Only 1.4341 0.05911 129 86 30 13
117 Canaan? No, I said Canada. 1.4341 0.06012 129 87 28 14
118 God forbid you should catch a cold. 1.4341 0.06403 129 91 20 18
119 Just in case hell freezes over. 1.4331 0.06284 127 88 23 16
120 If you want one for your brother, I'll need another lamb. 1.4331 0.06081 127 86 27 14
121 No one is going to listen to you in your pajamas! 1.4331 0.06382 127 89 21 17
122 ...And, with every Ten Commandments you get this free hoodie. 1.4320 0.06359 125 87 22 16
123 OK.... Take two tablets, put this on, and call me in the morning. 1.4320 0.05829 125 82 32 11
124 Your Mom called me. 1.4274 0.06078 124 84 27 13
125 Here, it covers a multitude of Sins. 1.4274 0.06227 117 79 26 12
126 But wait .. there's more! For only an additional $29.95, plus shipping & handling ... 1.4267 0.07867 75 51 16 8
127 Take two tablets, stay warm and call me in the morning. 1.4262 0.06150 122 83 26 13
128 It's from my After the Fall collection. 1.4262 0.05810 122 80 32 10
129 Winter is coming. 1.4262 0.06472 122 86 20 16
130 And for those still tempted by adultery, I have created the turtleneck. 1.4250 0.05995 120 80 29 11
131 I was just joking about "a cold day in hell." 1.4250 0.06224 120 82 25 13
132 Take two tablets, then put this on, it'll keep you warm. 1.4250 0.05877 120 79 31 10
133 Oh, that reminds me. Can you return this to thy neighbor's wife? 1.4237 0.06185 118 80 26 12
134 What do I say when they ask me who I am wearing? 1.4211 0.06462 114 79 22 13
135 Moshe, take a sweater, it gets cold in the desert at night. 1.4202 0.06371 119 83 22 14
136 Your mother wanted me to give you this. 1.4202 0.06698 119 86 16 17
137 From your mother. Call her. 1.4202 0.06143 119 81 26 12
138 Oh, and your mother made you this, and wants to know if she has any grandchildren. 1.4202 0.06591 119 85 18 16
139 Oy, is another commandment going to kill you? 1.4194 0.07815 62 40 18 4
140 Take two tablets, put on this sweater and call me in the morning. 1.4188 0.05852 117 77 31 9
141 Thou shalt not machine wash. 1.4188 0.06675 117 84 17 16
142 ...and this is for when hell freezes over. 1.4188 0.06336 117 81 23 13
143 This will make you look less preachy. 1.4188 0.06099 117 79 27 11
144 Took me six days to make this. 1.4174 0.06296 115 79 24 12
145 People who viewed the tablets also bought this hand knit alpaca hoodie sweater in grey 1.4174 0.06534 115 81 20 14
146 Come on, God. We said nothing over $10 this year. 1.4174 0.06416 115 80 22 13
147 So you made the earth in seven days, but that thing took you six weeks? 1.4174 0.06049 115 77 28 10
148 Forty days and 40 nights, and now you find my luggage? 1.4174 0.06049 115 77 28 10
149 And one more commandment from your mother. 1.4174 0.06534 115 81 20 14
150 Moishele, Moishele -- you knew you were going to be on the mountain forty days and forty nights. Nights, Moishe; nights! 1.4174 0.06649 115 82 18 15
151 It's not written in stone, but you might want to put this on. 1.4124 0.06175 97 63 28 6
152 If you commit for five more commandments, you get the canvas tote AND this official Team God sweatshirt. 1.4107 0.06536 112 79 20 13
153 Adam got a fig leaf to live in Paradise and I have to wear a sweater in the desert? Please... 1.4091 0.06098 110 74 27 9
154 Take it, I see lots of wandering around in your future. 1.4085 0.07659 71 48 17 6
155 Not the typical hand-me-down. 1.4062 0.06030 96 62 29 5
156 I think there's been a mistake. I'm just Moses, not Eskimoses. 1.4037 0.06533 109 77 20 12
157 And drop this at the dry cleaner's on your way. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
158 This is for the chilly reception you're going to get when you get back down the mountain. 1.4037 0.06401 109 76 22 11
159 This is not a commandment, but I'll be very hurt if you don't accept it. 1.4030 0.07385 67 44 19 4
160 You're not getting through to the millennials. Loose the robe and wear this. 1.4019 0.06621 107 76 19 12
161 That was Substance. Now you need Style. 1.4019 0.06486 107 75 21 11
162 It's from Mrs. God. 1.4000 0.06712 105 75 18 12
163 Your mother said to put this on. 1.4000 0.06712 105 75 18 12
164 Use the tablets as needed and take this for the cold. 1.4000 0.06290 105 72 24 9
165 It's cold outside. You know I worry. 1.4000 0.06142 105 71 26 8
166 XI. Thou Shalt Not Regift. 1.4000 0.06980 105 77 14 14
167 And then God created same-day delivery. 1.4000 0.07031 90 63 18 9
168 Go north and multiply. 1.4000 0.06434 105 73 22 10
169 No, technically, it's not a commandment. But, it will get chilly tonight. 1.3973 0.07489 73 50 17 6
170 So it's Egyptian Cotton, get over it 1.3942 0.06470 104 73 21 10
171 And Moses kvetched unto the Lord: “A hand-me-down? Really?” 1.3939 0.06392 99 68 23 8
172 Fine, but as my spokesman, I can't have you looking like you just rolled out of bed. 1.3922 0.06559 102 72 20 10
173 I asked for a medium. 1.3922 0.06559 102 72 20 10
174 It's hand of god made. 1.3922 0.06559 102 72 20 10
175 I know you're not cold. Just honor your mother. 1.3922 0.06559 102 72 20 10
176 Here--I made it myself. 1.3922 0.06559 102 72 20 10
177 It shrank when I washed it, would you like it? 1.3922 0.07126 102 76 12 14
178 Because I'm a good mother too. 1.3922 0.06409 102 71 22 9
179 THIS IS YOUR MOTHER SPEAKING 1.3922 0.06705 102 73 18 11
180 And on the eighth day I crocheted. 1.3922 0.06409 102 71 22 9
181 The tablets are to share--and the sweater's for you. 1.3922 0.06409 102 71 22 9
182 Just try it on. I'm not commanding you to keep it. 1.3918 0.06645 97 68 20 9
183 Number eleven...when your mother says wear a sweater, wear a sweater. 1.3918 0.06804 97 69 18 10
184 It's cold, Moishe-leh, put on a a sweater first! 1.3918 0.06645 97 68 20 9
185 You'll need this for the trip down. I've turned off the burning bush. 1.3918 0.06645 97 68 20 9
186 Here's a little something for you. Thou shalt not machine wash it, and shall dry clean it only. 1.3918 0.06141 97 65 26 6
187 Number 11: 'Don't run with scissors.' Number 12: 'Carry an umbrella.' Number 13: 'Pack a sweater.' Number 14... 1.3918 0.06481 97 67 22 8
188 Those are from our father, and this is from your mother. 1.3918 0.06960 97 70 16 11
189 As my representative you could at least throw a shirt on and stop walking around in your bath robe. 1.3918 0.06481 97 67 22 8
190 And if it's not the right size I kept the receipt. 1.3918 0.06645 97 68 20 9
191 I meant to say 'Thou shall not chill.' 1.3918 0.06645 97 68 20 9
192 There's new priority shipping for tablet users. 1.3918 0.06141 97 65 26 6
193 Same-day delivery really is a godsend. 1.3918 0.06313 97 66 24 7
194 We'll get to that. But first, put a sweater on. It's cold. 1.3906 0.06907 64 41 21 2
195 It's "thou shalt knit," not "thou shalt not." 1.3900 0.06497 100 70 21 9
196 But wait, there's more! 1.3900 0.07092 100 74 13 13
197 Don't worry, it's ok to covet cashmere. 1.3900 0.06651 100 71 19 10
198 Tell the world it took me 6 days and 6 nights to make it. 1.3889 0.06456 90 61 23 6
199 You don't like the robes? 1.3889 0.06260 90 60 25 5
200 Put this on. It will be a cold day in hell before you see the Promised Land. 1.3878 0.06589 98 69 20 9
201 I'm not commanding you put on a sweater but don't complain to me when you catch your death out there. 1.3878 0.06746 98 70 18 10
202 You aren’t going down there dressed like THAT, are you? 1.3878 0.06091 98 66 26 6
203 OK, technically it's not another commandment. But it will make your mother happy. 1.3878 0.06746 98 70 18 10
204 And in case you forget, I wrote them on the sleeve. 1.3878 0.06427 98 68 22 8
205 Your mother sent this in case you got cold... 1.3878 0.06427 98 68 22 8
206 And then do me a favor and drop this off at the cleaners, will ya? 1.3878 0.06589 98 69 20 9
207 Moses, Schmoses. Be a good boy, listen to your mother, and put on this sweater. 1.3878 0.06427 98 68 22 8
208 And on the seventh day, God got really into knitting. 1.3878 0.06901 98 71 16 11
209 Call it a 'Garment' - and establish an industry for your people. 1.3836 0.07712 73 52 14 7
210 Wear this, take the two tablets and see me in the morning. 1.3833 0.07916 60 41 15 4
211 No, it's not a commandment, but would it kill you to try it on? 1.3814 0.07096 97 72 13 12
212 The hand of Amazon Prime. 1.3800 0.08519 50 34 13 3
213 Take your pick, Moses. Ten degrees or ten decrees? 1.3789 0.06887 95 69 16 10
214 I hope you don't mind a hand me down. 1.3789 0.06554 95 67 20 8
215 No, I said, "COVER thy neighbor". 1.3789 0.06554 95 67 20 8
216 Fleece be with you. 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
217 And get this to Aaron.He's Amazon Prime. 1.3789 0.06381 95 66 22 7
218 Oh, and can you drop this off at Goodwill? 1.3789 0.06203 95 65 24 6
219 Take it. It'll be a cold day in hell if anyone follows these. 1.3789 0.07048 95 70 14 11
220 Oh wait, one more: Thou shalt not putteth woolen garments in thy tumble dryer. 1.3789 0.06554 95 67 20 8
221 Thought you might like this Promised Lands' End sweater. 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
222 It's this, or give up bacon. 1.3778 0.06625 90 63 20 7
223 Moses was relieved to see "Thou shalt not regift" was not inscribed on the tablets. 1.3778 0.07340 90 67 12 11
224 Because your Mother said so, that's why. 1.3778 0.06992 90 65 16 9
225 Ok, time for the style commandments. 1.3778 0.06625 90 63 20 7
226 Moses, is that what you're wearing to the parting? 1.3778 0.07168 90 66 14 10
227 You won't be getting to the promised land yourself, so please accept this beautiful sweater as a consolation prize. Those desert nights are a bitch. 1.3778 0.06434 90 62 22 6
228 Um, I said, "peace," not "fleece" 1.3778 0.06434 90 62 22 6
229 Mom!! Not now. 1.3778 0.06625 90 63 20 7
230 Thou shalt not chill. 1.3778 0.06625 90 63 20 7
231 I need XXL. 1.3778 0.07168 90 66 14 10
232 This is all I have. The coat of many colors is already spoken for. 1.3778 0.06811 90 64 18 8
233 After thou hast crossed the desert with thy people, head for Canada. 1.3770 0.07453 61 41 17 3
234 Proof that God is a Jewish Mother. 1.3763 0.06823 93 67 17 9
235 Here is your next clue. 1.3763 0.06288 93 64 23 6
236 Thou shalt not raise the thermostat. 1.3763 0.07783 93 73 5 15
237 Is that, um, Egyptian cotton? 1.3763 0.06823 93 67 17 9
238 "In case you find the reception a little cold". 1.3763 0.07477 93 71 9 13
239 Is that a commandment, or just a suggestion? 1.3763 0.06992 93 68 15 10
240 ... And this is for when Hell freezes over by the time your people actually follow all My commandments. 1.3763 0.07319 93 70 11 12
241 And this is for the cold reception you're going to get. 1.3736 0.06927 91 66 16 9
242 Oh, and one more thing. Take this. I don't want it. 1.3736 0.06927 91 66 16 9
243 Keep warm, take two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.3736 0.06927 91 66 16 9
244 I also want ski pants Lord 1.3704 0.07614 54 36 16 2
245 And you thought I was a guy, right? 1.3692 0.07774 65 46 14 5
246 People who like that also like this. 1.3662 0.07570 71 51 14 6
247 Thou shalt not wear this around your neck like a douche. 1.3649 0.08066 74 56 9 9
248 This one's more of a suggestion. 1.3649 0.06546 74 50 21 3
249 No, I said thou shalt not chill. 1.3636 0.07365 66 46 16 4
250 Not really a commandment, just a friendly suggestion. 1.3636 0.06298 88 61 22 5
251 It's a mountain. You"ll catch cold. Would it it kill you to put a sweater on for me? 1.3636 0.07261 88 66 12 10
252 One more thing, give this to Waldo. 1.3636 0.06502 88 62 20 6
253 ...and thou shalt not machine dry cashmere. 1.3636 0.07261 88 66 12 10
254 Oh, and if you see my kid, give him this. He's always handing his out to strangers... 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
255 "Not exactly what I had in mind when praying for protection". 1.3636 0.07261 88 66 12 10
256 here...honor thy mother 1.3636 0.07079 88 65 14 9
257 Is it Egyptian cotton? 1.3636 0.06298 88 61 22 5
258 Just a suggestion, not a command. 1.3636 0.06502 88 62 20 6
259 Wear this, you're in for a cool reception . . . 1.3636 0.06087 88 60 24 4
260 You're going to live to 175. Take the sweater. 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
261 ... And don't forget to call your Mother. 1.3636 0.06700 88 63 18 7
262 Think of this one as a suggestion, not a commandment. 1.3636 0.06700 88 63 18 7
263 Two tablets, stay warm, and call me in the morning. 1.3636 0.06700 88 63 18 7
264 Honour thy mother... 1.3636 0.06502 88 62 20 6
265 Moses, hold up a minute! The Holy Ghost here wants to come down the mountain with you. 1.3636 0.07365 66 46 16 4
266 [Booming Voice] No, it’s a suggestion, not a commandment. 1.3636 0.07079 88 65 14 9
267 And if they don't buy into that, change into this. 1.3621 0.07660 58 40 15 3
268 Thou shalt wash thy garment on gentle, and dryeth on low settings... 1.3621 0.06824 58 38 19 1
269 It's probably just a cold. Take 2 tablets and call me in the morning. 1.3614 0.06766 83 59 18 6
270 Keep warm, take two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.3614 0.06545 83 58 20 5
271 Would it kill you to try it on? 1.3614 0.06980 83 60 16 7
272 One last thing, see if Ivanka will sell this. 1.3614 0.07389 83 62 12 9
273 Politically it appears hell is indeed freezing over. You're going to need this. 1.3614 0.06980 83 60 16 7
274 Those are from your Father. This is from me. Don't forget to wear it. 1.3614 0.07187 83 61 14 8
275 "Take two tablets, and then put on this sweater". 1.3614 0.06980 83 60 16 7
276 The last flock you shepherded says 'Hello'. 1.3614 0.06766 83 59 18 6
277 You will need this when Hell hath frozen over. 1.3614 0.06545 83 58 20 5
278 What do you think? It's difficult to get an honest opinion up here. 1.3614 0.06317 83 57 22 4
279 Your mother thought you should have a sweater 1.3605 0.06802 86 62 17 7
280 For when Hell freezes over. 1.3605 0.07381 86 65 11 10
281 Yes, Mother. 1.3571 0.07114 84 62 14 8
282 Your mother made this. Read the 4th Commandment, then put this on. 1.3571 0.06910 84 61 16 7
283 "I thought you said, 'thou shall not cover your neighbors wife.' 1.3571 0.07507 84 64 10 10
284 Sponsored content: Biblical Sweaters starting at $9.99 1.3571 0.07114 84 62 14 8
285 It has pockets for large tablets. 1.3571 0.07114 84 62 14 8
286 Dad I'm fine 1.3571 0.07114 84 62 14 8
287 Your Father and I wanted you to have a little something for yourself as well. 1.3571 0.07114 84 62 14 8
288 Stay warm, take two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.3571 0.06910 84 61 16 7
289 Thanks, but no one will follow a man in a turtleneck. 1.3571 0.07114 84 62 14 8
290 More of a suggestion, actually. 1.3571 0.06481 84 59 20 5
291 Your Mother which art in Heaven - wants you to put on your sweater. 1.3571 0.07114 84 62 14 8
292 Just take it I'm sick of that robe. 1.3571 0.07313 84 63 12 9
293 I made it myself. 1.3521 0.07795 71 53 11 7
294 #11: Always layer. 1.3514 0.06506 74 51 20 3
295 Oh, one more ... 1.3514 0.07310 74 54 14 6
296 Take this too. It shrunk in the wash. 1.3514 0.07559 74 55 12 7
297 Thou shalt not stretch out the neck hole. 1.3500 0.08174 60 44 11 5
298 Take this. It's Egyptian cotton. 1.3500 0.07061 60 41 17 2
299 Take this, it won't be a warm reception. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
300 You are probably going to get a chilly reception. 1.3494 0.06045 83 57 23 3
301 Actually, thou shall not give a damn about wearing sweaters with two kinds of fabric. Or eating shellfish. Or homosexuality. But the whole 'no killing' thing still applies. 1.3462 0.07027 78 57 15 6
302 Trust me, you'll need this. Global Warming doesn't hit for another 3,300 years. 1.3457 0.06840 81 59 16 6
303 People who liked honoring their Mother and Father also liked... 1.3457 0.07487 81 62 10 9
304 DO NOT FORGET NUMBER ELEVEN: YOU SHALL NOT WASH THY FINE WOOLENS IN HOT WATER. 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
305 It's not written in stone, but it's a good rule of thumb. 1.3457 0.06840 81 59 16 6
306 If this doesn't help, take the two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.3457 0.06840 81 59 16 6
307 Number 7 contains a typo. It should read, "You shall cover your neighbor's wife." 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
308 Moishele, you want to catch a cold up here? 1.3457 0.06840 81 59 16 6
309 You take it. It doesn't fit me. 1.3448 0.08714 58 44 8 6
310 Anxious moment at the holiday gift swap, 1350 BC. 1.3433 0.07829 67 50 11 6
311 No, it's a Tablet Protector. These are apt to break. I have it in aqua or sandstone. 1.3429 0.07305 70 51 14 5
312 And the Lord said unto Moses: "Thou shouldst not be dumb enough to spend 40 nights on the mountain in a loincloth." 1.3418 0.06951 79 58 15 6
313 ...And while you're down there, could you drop this off at the cleaners for me? 1.3418 0.07181 79 59 13 7
314 Newly discovered proof that God is a Mother. 1.3418 0.07403 79 60 11 8
315 You never did learn how to pack for trips. 1.3418 0.06951 79 58 15 6
316 Moses, none of these millennials will listen to you unless you're wearing one of these. 1.3418 0.07181 79 59 13 7
317 Really? God's Frozen People? 1.3418 0.07181 79 59 13 7
318 Not saying you'll get lost for 40 years but...doesn't hurt to be prepared. 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
319 My wife made it. 1.3418 0.06951 79 58 15 6
320 That list? It's gonna be a cold day in hell. 1.3418 0.07181 79 59 13 7
321 Believe me. Global cooling is coming. 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
322 I'm good, Amazon already delivered. 1.3418 0.07403 79 60 11 8
323 And get a haircut. 1.3418 0.06951 79 58 15 6
324 After you tell'm, put this on and lay low for a while. 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
325 Proof that God is a woman. 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
326 This might help with #10 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
327 Eleven--thou shalt not commit crimes of fashion. 1.3418 0.06951 79 58 15 6
328 And finally, thou shalt always wear a knitted sweater received, no matter how ugly. 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
329 It's from your mother. 1.3418 0.07403 79 60 11 8
330 Don't make me come down there! 1.3390 0.06669 59 40 18 1
331 And lastly, I'd like to offer a fashion suggestion. 1.3385 0.07029 65 46 16 3
332 I'd rather keep the stones, if you don't mind. They're vintage. 1.3382 0.06825 68 48 17 3
333 Sorry, I forgot it was Dry Clean Only. 1.3382 0.06825 68 48 17 3
334 Lord, You communicate in mysterious ways. 1.3382 0.07139 68 49 15 4
335 This cashmere sweater, however, thou may covet. 1.3382 0.07139 68 49 15 4
336 And this is how you dress for the mountains? Put on a sweater. 1.3378 0.07011 74 54 15 5
337 God that's a great sweater. 1.3378 0.07270 74 55 13 6
338 That's why I chose you, Moses--you're a trendsetter. 1.3378 0.07270 74 55 13 6
339 Follow the rules your father gave you, sweetie, and here, wear a sweater. Have you eaten today? 1.3378 0.07270 74 55 13 6
340 Would it kill you to put on a sweater? 1.3378 0.07270 74 55 13 6
341 Trust me, the tablets will have a chilling effect. 1.3377 0.07066 77 57 14 6
342 ...and right now you get a free sweatshirt with every ten commandments. 1.3377 0.07534 77 59 10 8
343 No, it's not a commandment. I just think you'll be chilly without it. 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
344 I upcycled the Passover lamb. 1.3377 0.07304 77 58 12 7
345 I know it's a desert, but it gets cold at night. Thou shalt layer. 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
346 And the Lord gave unto Moses the first hand-me-down 1.3377 0.06299 77 54 20 3
347 And number 11: Always take a sweater, you never know what it'll be like." 1.3377 0.07758 77 60 8 9
348 Merry WHAT? 1.3377 0.07066 77 57 14 6
349 Do not take the Lord and Tailor's name in vain. 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
350 It's part of the Prophet Collection. 1.3377 0.06299 77 54 20 3
351 Why do I feel like I put more thought into today's gift exchange than you did? 1.3333 0.07187 75 56 13 6
352 It might help if you wear a turtleneck and call them tablets. 1.3333 0.07672 75 58 9 8
353 You shall have no other sweaters except this one. 1.3333 0.06596 66 46 18 2
354 In case you skip Canaan and go straight to Long Island. 1.3333 0.07187 75 56 13 6
355 Honor thy mother. It's cold out 1.3333 0.06391 75 53 19 3
356 No, I said thou shalt not chill. 1.3333 0.07269 66 48 14 4
357 Your mom made it, ok? 1.3333 0.06667 75 54 17 4
358 One more thing, on your way down the mountain, could you return this to Macys for me? 1.3333 0.07433 75 57 11 7
359 You will need this when hell freezes over. 1.3333 0.07433 75 57 11 7
360 Oh, and I almost forgot –– there's an eleventh commandment in the fine print on the tag. 1.3333 0.08427 57 43 9 5
361 With all due respect, I prayed for a helicopter. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
362 And should thou posses space enough to proclaim, #11. Machine wash cold with like colors. 1.3333 0.07672 75 58 9 8
363 Thanks, but I'm still toasty from the burning bush. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
364 Trust me, it will be a chilly reception. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
365 Wear this, it will be a cold day in hell before they follow those rules. 1.3333 0.07672 75 58 9 8
366 It's just a suggestion. 1.3333 0.06667 75 54 17 4
367 what do you mean this sweater "looks pretty gay" 1.3333 0.06667 75 54 17 4
368 Take this. I can't always be lighting bushes on fire for you, you know. 1.3333 0.07187 75 56 13 6
369 Climate change. 1.3333 0.07187 75 56 13 6
370 Tell Al Gore he got it wrong 1.3333 0.07903 75 59 7 9
371 Now, I don't want to see this on eBay next week. 1.3333 0.06102 75 52 21 2
372 Moses, you have to update your look. I want to attract a more diverse following. 1.3333 0.07672 75 58 9 8
373 while you're at it, could you plug my daughter's clothing line ? 1.3333 0.08128 75 60 5 10
374 Moses, customers who bought "Ten Commandment Stone Tablets" also bought "Knitted Slim Fit Pullover Sweater with Shawl Collar ." 1.3333 0.07672 75 58 9 8
375 I didn't bring you out of Egypt to catch a cold. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
376 It gets cold at night in the desert. 1.3333 0.06667 75 54 17 4
377 What do you mean, 'How do YOU know it's going to get chilly'? 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
378 The Promised Land's End. 1.3333 0.07187 75 56 13 6
379 And avoid drafts. 1.3286 0.07258 70 52 13 5
380 And no running downhill. 1.3286 0.07808 70 54 9 7
381 Your mother called. 1.3286 0.07538 70 53 11 6
382 Would you return this for me on your way down? 1.3286 0.06967 70 51 15 4
383 Just in case hell freezes over. 1.3286 0.07538 70 53 11 6
384 Thou shalt be nice and cozy. 1.3286 0.06967 70 51 15 4
385 I'm giving the same to Aaron, but don't tell him. 1.3286 0.07538 70 53 11 6
386 This should help with the cold reception. 1.3286 0.07538 70 53 11 6
387 The eleventh commandment is from your mom: thou shalt wear your sweater to keep from catching a cold. 1.3286 0.06967 70 51 15 4
388 Ye shall have no other hoodies before me 1.3286 0.07258 70 52 13 5
389 Mother. Please! 1.3286 0.07808 70 54 9 7
390 Here, take two tablets, put this sweater on and you'll be fine 1.3284 0.07782 67 51 10 6
391 And from henceforth, thou shalt not leave My hoodie in the dryer on high. 1.3269 0.08562 52 39 9 4
392 It'll be a cold day in hell. 1.3239 0.07445 71 54 11 6
393 Thou shalt hand wash only. Thou shalt use no bleach. Thou shalt lay flat to dry. Thou shalt not wring or twist. 1.3239 0.07445 71 54 11 6
394 expect a chilly reception 1.3239 0.07711 71 55 9 7
395 You'll get the symbolism later 1.3239 0.07170 71 53 13 5
396 Not right now, Mom, I'm working!! 1.3239 0.07170 71 53 13 5
397 But I'm Moses. That's for Malibu Ken! 1.3239 0.06884 71 52 15 4
398 Oh, God, not another knitted sweater. 1.3239 0.07711 71 55 9 7
399 No, no. I get the tablets. Joseph gets the coat. 1.3239 0.07445 71 54 11 6
400 You'll need it for the Ark. 1.3239 0.07711 71 55 9 7
401 ... and #11 - Listen to thy mother 1.3239 0.07445 71 54 11 6
402 Remember the sweater and keep it holey 1.3235 0.07681 68 52 10 6
403 Thou shalt not catch cold. 1.3235 0.07087 68 50 14 4
404 And God said "Let there be lightweight cashmere". 1.3235 0.07390 68 51 12 5
405 Thanks. But I have my hands full. 1.3235 0.07087 68 50 14 4
406 While you're out there spreading the word, see if there's any demand for my new clothing line. 1.3235 0.07962 68 53 8 7
407 Your mother said you should take a sweater. 1.3235 0.07681 68 52 10 6
408 .....And here's another hand-me-down. 1.3235 0.07087 68 50 14 4
409 You're going to spend a few years in the desert. It gets cold at night. 1.3235 0.07087 68 50 14 4
410 ...And remember thy sweater and keep it not holey. 1.3235 0.06770 68 49 16 3
411 You took the tablets, but you forgot your sweater. 1.3235 0.06770 68 49 16 3
412 And when are you going to settle down, get married and stop all this wandering around? 1.3235 0.07390 68 51 12 5
413 From your mother. She said, "Wear it. It gets chilly on mountain tops." 1.3235 0.06087 68 47 20 1
414 Forty days and forty nights and NOW you give that to me? 1.3235 0.07390 68 51 12 5
415 It was on sale & your color! 1.3182 0.07529 66 50 11 5
416 Okay, so it's no God's before you, no taking your name in vain and no graven images and I get the sweater? 1.3182 0.06882 66 48 15 3
417 Tell the people to wear a sweater and stop warming my earth. 1.3167 0.07323 60 44 13 3
418 OMG, I forgot to get you anything. 1.3167 0.07323 60 44 13 3
419 Number 11: Thou shalt put on a sweater whenever your mother is chilly. 1.3167 0.08058 60 46 9 5
420 On a personal note: Thou shall ditch the bathrobe . 1.3143 0.07489 70 54 10 6
421 And here's a little something for the chilly reception. 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
422 Thou shalt not wear a turtleneck with sandals. 1.3143 0.07489 70 54 10 6
423 No Lord, I said that I am so old. 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
424 Your mother says it's cold 1.3143 0.07760 70 55 8 7
425 Global warming is complicated. You're going to need this. 1.3143 0.07489 70 54 10 6
426 And finally, thou shalt have 30 days for returns. 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
427 And Moses... here's a little thank you. 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
428 Thou shall not wear plaid! 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
429 Thou shalt not put woolens in the dryer. 1.3091 0.07730 55 41 11 3
430 Could you also return this to Amazon? 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
431 Accidentally washed this on hot. 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
432 You're mother wants you to wear this so you don't catch a cold. 1.3088 0.07629 68 53 9 6
433 Because I'm your father and I say you need a sweater, that's why. 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
434 Your reception might be a little chilly. 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
435 ...and give this to Crazy Olaf - we're sending him to Greenland. 1.3088 0.07629 68 53 9 6
436 If I say a poly blend is fine, then it's fine. 1.3088 0.07629 68 53 9 6
437 Listen to your mother. 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
438 Because I said so. And where are your mittens? Wait 'til your Father hears about this. 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
439 It's not a commandment, just a suggestion. 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
440 Mom, is that you? 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
441 It's no burning bush, but it'll keep you warm. 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
442 I know you're not cold. But honor your mother and take it anyway. 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
443 Thou shalt protect thyself from the elements! 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
444 My God, my hands are full already. Can you FedEx the sweater? 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
445 And I'd go with this for your presentation. 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
446 It's from your mother. 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
447 I'm decluttering. Do me a favor and throw this on the Burning Bush. 1.3077 0.07571 65 50 10 5
448 Amazon Devine 1.3077 0.07247 65 49 12 4
449 My people prayed for cows and swine, not Calvin Klein. 1.3036 0.08026 56 43 9 4
450 ...But I never said thou shalt not knit. 1.3036 0.07171 56 41 13 2
451 V-necks are for sinners, by the way. 1.3036 0.06703 56 40 15 1
452 Two tablets aren't enough for that cold? Here's a sweater. 1.3030 0.07776 66 52 8 6
453 Oh.....And your Mom said to give this to you also. 1.3030 0.06818 66 49 14 3
454 Thou shalt know I sometimes like to knit. 1.3030 0.07151 66 50 12 4
455 And once a year, thou shalt wear this ugly sweater 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
456 Put on this sweater, take 2 tablets and call me in the morning 1.3030 0.06818 66 49 14 3
457 It's not a "commandment," but I did think it would look nice on you. 1.3030 0.06467 66 48 16 2
458 Don't forget the 11th: 'Obey Your Mother.' 1.3030 0.07776 66 52 8 6
459 I didn't know we were exchanging gifts. 1.3030 0.07151 66 50 12 4
460 Here, put this on, take the two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.3030 0.07776 66 52 8 6
461 Remember, it's all about the BRANDING 1.3030 0.08070 66 53 6 7
462 In addition to giving commandments, I like to knit. 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
463 I know you’re Mr. big-shot Prophet now, but Moses, you can’t rely on a burning bush to keep you warm. Just take it! You don’t have to wear it. 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
464 Although it was never etched in stone, the birth of of the Ugly Sweater exchange was thought to have began around 1391 BC. 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
465 For the millionth time, Mom, it's the desert 1.3030 0.06818 66 49 14 3
466 Nobody will believe you in that silly robe. 1.3030 0.07151 66 50 12 4
467 I know you've got your hands full. But I couldn't give it to you at the Burning Bush. It's not flame resistant. 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
468 It'll fit. Trust me. 1.3030 0.07151 66 50 12 4
469 God is a Jewish mother? 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
470 You know how I feel about mixed fabrics. 1.3030 0.08070 66 53 6 7
471 One last thing: Never put a wool sweater in the dryer. 1.3030 0.08070 66 53 6 7
472 And do you have your milk and honey money? 1.3030 0.06818 66 49 14 3
473 Thou shalt not tumble dry. 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
474 Uhhh, here's an unwritten one: no sandals after Labor Day. Here, put this on! 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
475 One more thing. Thou shalt listen to your mother and wear the sweater already. 1.3016 0.07718 63 49 9 5
476 What hath God wrought!? 1.3000 0.08690 50 39 7 4
477 I suspect they won't be warmly received. 1.3000 0.07990 60 47 8 5
478 Mom's 11th Commandment 1.3000 0.07249 60 45 12 3
479 And take this too, it gets cold in the desert at night. 1.3000 0.06848 60 44 14 2
480 It's merino from heaven. Out of manna today. 1.3000 0.07990 60 47 8 5
481 It's for the cold reception awaiting you. 1.3000 0.07249 60 45 12 3
482 Well if you picked a mountain a little warmer than Mt. Sinai I wouldn't need this. 1.3000 0.07249 60 45 12 3
483 Find my son! And give him this sweater. 1.3000 0.08336 60 48 6 6
484 Oy, is one more little commandment going to kill you? 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
485 Of course I made it myself. 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
486 Noah got a boat... 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
487 Oh yeah; one more: Thou Shalt Not Chill... 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
488 I actually said "thou shall knit to cover thy neighbor's wife". 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
489 Thanks,. Mom 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
490 Got it. Take two tablets, and stay warm. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
491 Fit 'em on one tablet you get the jacket back. 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
492 This hoodie will give you wilderness cred. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
493 Not a commandment, no. Let's call it 'a must' for fall weekends. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
494 Talk about a jewish mother! 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
495 Call it a warning, call it number 11, but thou better stop messing with the climate down there or you're all gonna need sweaters in the desert real soon. 1.2969 0.06929 64 48 13 3
496 Sorry this is late... I forgot your Bar Mitzvah. 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
497 Here... you might need this. In the future, you're going to be left out in the cold more often than you're used to. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
498 I'm thinking about calling it the Passover Pullover. 1.2969 0.06929 64 48 13 3
499 Is it Egyptian cotton? 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
500 Be prepared for a frigid reception. 1.2969 0.06929 64 48 13 3
501 Eleven: If it's from grandma, you have to wear it at least once. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
502 If you're not going to stay near the burning bush, at least put on the sweater. 1.2969 0.06929 64 48 13 3
503 Here, put this on. You'll freeze your tablets off out here. 1.2969 0.07931 64 51 7 6
504 Oh...and your mother says to put your coat on. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
505 Hang on, you're not Philip Moses, 229 Harwood Drive? 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
506 But wait! In addition to the tablets you also receive a bonus cashmere sweater! 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
507 Thank you, but I wear a medium. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
508 The seventh day was getting a little boring so I took up knitting. 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
509 Just wear it. It's now The Ten Commandments Presented by Patagonia. 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
510 Oh, before you go down, one more thing ... your mother asked me to give you this. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
511 The lesser known origin story of The Jewish Mom 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
512 Thou shalt not spin dry 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
513 I made this for you, Moses. It's 100% Egyptian cotton! 1.2969 0.06562 64 47 15 2
514 This will keep you warmer than a burning bush. 1.2969 0.07931 64 51 7 6
515 I also knit 1.2969 0.06929 64 48 13 3
516 It's cold and I couldn't get the bush to light so put this sweater on. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
517 Wow, a Golden Fleece! 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
518 rules?! this has got to be the worst trade deal maybe ever signed anywhere 1.2963 0.08203 54 42 8 4
519 YOU WILL RECEIVE A CHILLY RECEPTION. BE PREPARED! 1.2963 0.07302 54 40 12 2
520 I'm fed up with asking. From now on, I'm commanding. 1.2963 0.07766 54 41 10 3
521 Because you never get a second chance to make a good first impression. 1.2931 0.06961 58 43 13 2
522 Just in case you get a chilly reception... 1.2909 0.06703 55 40 14 1
523 C'mon, it'll make your mother happy. 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
524 Trust Me -- you're going to get a chilly reception. 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
525 And the lambs you offer shall not go to waste. 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
526 Thou shalt dry clean only. 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
527 And the first fifty people to obey all the laws will get this cool hoodie 1.2903 0.07760 62 49 8 5
528 It could be a long walk. Take the sweater. 1.2903 0.07411 62 48 10 4
529 And ditch the robe, it's pretentious. 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
530 Siberia's the new Promised Land - Middle East's not gonna work out 1.2903 0.07760 62 49 8 5
531 Stay warm, drink plenty of fluids, take two tablets, and call me in the morning. 1.2903 0.07760 62 49 8 5
532 You're a global warming denier, too? 1.2903 0.07760 62 49 8 5
533 Good news / bad news: You won't need this for another 40yrs. 1.2903 0.07411 62 48 10 4
534 Moses meets the Mother of God. 1.2903 0.08094 62 50 6 6
535 Take this and wear it so it doesn't look like I'm talking to a hermit. 1.2903 0.07411 62 48 10 4
536 Take two tablets and this sweater, if you don't feel better in the morning call me in 40 years. 1.2903 0.06660 62 46 14 2
537 You'd better take this, too. It's cold on the moral high ground. 1.2903 0.07411 62 48 10 4
538 Go and spread my word to my people... And wear this, it's windy. 1.2903 0.07411 62 48 10 4
539 ...and chisel in the Paris Agreement as number eleven. 1.2903 0.08094 62 50 6 6
540 Bubala, do you want to catch your death? 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
541 Take both tablets, bundle up, and call Me in the morning if there's no improvement. 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
542 I'm sure it'll fit you - I used Biblical proportions. 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
543 It's hand made. 1.2903 0.07760 62 49 8 5
544 Proof God is actually our Heavenly _Mother_. 1.2903 0.07760 62 49 8 5
545 It's made of Kevlar; put it on before descending. 1.2903 0.08094 62 50 6 6
546 ...And I was saving this for Christmas, but that would've been too long for you to wait. 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
547 Every ten you get a free sweater. 1.2903 0.07411 62 48 10 4
548 And for the cool desert nights... 1.2903 0.06250 62 45 16 1
549 Oh, and one last thing: Nana says hi. 1.2903 0.07760 62 49 8 5
550 If God was a Jewish mother. 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
551 It's 100% lamb of god's wool. 1.2885 0.08391 52 41 7 4
552 ONE MORE THING--BE PREPARED FOR A CHILLY RECEPTION! 1.2885 0.07929 52 40 9 3
553 I think it's your size. 1.2885 0.08391 52 41 7 4
554 It's a little small for me. 1.2885 0.07438 52 39 11 2
555 Number Eleven: Thou shalt always wear layers. 1.2881 0.07273 59 45 11 3
556 Bet you can't put this on without dropping those. 1.2881 0.07664 59 46 9 4
557 Thou shall not be cold. Signed: Mrs. God 1.2857 0.07522 56 43 10 3
558 Put something on Bubbalh, it gets cold at night. 1.2833 0.07916 60 48 7 5
559 Moses, you mother says you'll need your sweater if you're going to be away from home long. 1.2833 0.08265 60 49 5 6
560 When did you start working for Amazon? 1.2833 0.08265 60 49 5 6
561 You mom asked my to give you this. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
562 So that's Ten Commandments and one strong suggestion. 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
563 What I said was, TAKE THE TALBOTS. 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
564 Amazon delivery already? Wow I just placed the order on my tablet! 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
565 Alexa, CANCEL. It was "Honor thy mother." Not "reorder another." 1.2833 0.08265 60 49 5 6
566 And, because you bought ten, a free sweater. 1.2833 0.06761 60 45 13 2
567 Not now, Mom! 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
568 Forty days and forty nights - you could really use a change of clothes. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
569 It comes in many colors. 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
570 He wears Prada, you will wear this! 1.2833 0.07916 60 48 7 5
571 Moses, read the fine print....no returns on sale merchandise. 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
572 Thou shall not sacrifice style for substance. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
573 I found this by the burning bush. Yours? 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
574 Okay, it's your choice -- those tablets, this beautiful hand-knit Icelandic sweater -- or whatever is behind door number 3. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
575 The desert is cold at night 1.2833 0.07916 60 48 7 5
576 And here's a little something for your wife. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
577 No, they love when you Instagram the designer's name. 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
578 Can't be. Not another hand-me-down! 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
579 I knit in my spare time. Do you like it? 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
580 This isn't a commandment,it's more of a suggestion . 1.2833 0.06761 60 45 13 2
581 Frankly I"d prefer some new sandals. 1.2833 0.07916 60 48 7 5
582 And... you left this by the burning bush. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
583 So... you're thinking rain? 1.2833 0.06761 60 45 13 2
584 This should help with the chilly reception. 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
585 This doesn't fit Jesus anymore. 1.2833 0.07916 60 48 7 5
586 Not that I am complaining, but we are lost in a desert... Maybe a hat and a bottle of water? 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
587 Chilly reception awaits below. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
588 In lieu of the promised land, I give you this sweater I knitted. 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
589 We're going to try a different marketing strategy to appeal to millennials. 1.2833 0.06761 60 45 13 2
590 Come to think of it, you'll probably get more use out of this. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
591 Dammit, Moses, you're on the top of a mountain in your bathrobe. Here, put this sweater on. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
592 The little-known 11th commandment: "Thou shalt not put wool in the dryer." 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
593 Ten Commandments and one friendly suggestion. 1.2833 0.07916 60 48 7 5
594 Back to Heaven sale at Old Navy. 2 tablets and a hoodie only 9.99! 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
595 Oh.. and your mom got you this... 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
596 Here, it's hand made. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
597 Let's just say that the reception may be a little less than warm. 1.2833 0.07916 60 48 7 5
598 Who knew God is a Jewish mother? 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
599 Are you sure ,Thou shawl not? 1.2833 0.07916 60 48 7 5
600 Here ...your mother's been nagging me. 1.2833 0.07551 60 47 9 4
601 You heard it from me - the new term is global cooling. 1.2833 0.07916 60 48 7 5
602 Go, sell it on the mountain! 1.2830 0.07797 53 41 9 3
603 No. The FIRST COMMANDMENT is Listen To Your Mother. 1.2807 0.07818 57 45 8 4
604 Your married? 1.2787 0.07799 61 49 7 5
605 I am your mother. 1.2759 0.07697 58 46 8 4
606 Let's say this is your neighbor's coat. You like it, right? You want it, right? That's coveting. 1.2759 0.07697 58 46 8 4
607 Here, put this on till I can get the bush re-lit. 1.2759 0.08080 58 47 6 5
608 #4.a Thou shalt wear a sweater whenever thine mother is cold. 1.2759 0.07697 58 46 8 4
609 It's only a suggestion 1.2759 0.08080 58 47 6 5
610 It's either this or circumcision. 1.2759 0.07697 58 46 8 4
611 You guys are so cute I couldn't help but put together some little outfits too. 1.2759 0.08447 58 48 4 6
612 Isn't this proof enough that you're not going to hell? 1.2759 0.06411 58 43 14 1
613 Honor Thy mother and father. Wear a sweater. 1.2759 0.06866 58 44 12 2
614 Moses gazed for the first time upon the fabric of reality. 1.2745 0.07451 51 39 10 2
615 I've got a bowl of chicken soup for you, too. 1.2745 0.06905 51 38 12 1
616 remember son; ""thou shalt not catch cold". 1.2745 0.08438 51 41 6 4
617 I was thinking more like Brooks Brothers. 1.2745 0.07451 51 39 10 2
618 I received it over the holidays and I want you to burn it. 1.2727 0.08391 55 45 5 5
619 I guess that's better than another burning bush. 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
620 Is this when hell freezes over? 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
621 It's not a command. Won't you at least try it on? 1.2727 0.06061 55 40 15 0
622 Bubbeleh, you'll catch your death! 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
623 Those will prepare humanity for a successful civilization. This will prepare you for the reception you're going to get. 1.2727 0.07085 55 42 11 2
624 The desert can be very chilly at night. 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
625 Take two tablets and call me in the morning....and don't forget your sweater! 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
626 Don't be a big shot, take the sweater. 1.2727 0.07085 55 42 11 2
627 Moms Eleventh Commandment: Wear a sweater. 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
628 I don’t mean to nag but I hear it’s going to drop into the fifties this evening. 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
629 Jesus says robes and sandals are his thing. 1.2727 0.07979 55 44 7 4
630 I'm actually God the Jewish Mother. Put your sweater on Moses--it's chilly on this mountaintop. 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
631 With a mighty hand, an outstretched arm, and free shipping on returns. 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
632 And then god said, "let there be light sweaters" 1.2727 0.07545 55 43 9 3
633 Yours? 1.2692 0.08291 52 42 6 4
634 You left this at my house. 1.2692 0.07823 52 41 8 3
635 Moses, I told you it was cold up here! 1.2692 0.08291 52 42 6 4
636 I almost forgot. Could you drop this off at the cleaners and bring it back to me next week? 1.2692 0.07325 52 40 10 2
637 This comes free with two tablets. 1.2692 0.07325 52 40 10 2
638 Oh, and your mother wants you to wear this on the way down. 1.2692 0.07325 52 40 10 2
639 Oh, and your order arrived from L.L.Bean. 1.2692 0.06211 52 38 14 0
640 And this is from your mother. 1.2692 0.06211 52 38 14 0
641 Thou shalt not buy retail. 1.2692 0.07325 52 40 10 2
642 And the Lord said unto Moses, "Replace that robe with this Yeezy hoodie." 1.2692 0.07823 52 41 8 3
643 And if you act now, I'll include this complimentary ram's wool sweater for those chilly desert nights... 1.2692 0.08291 52 42 6 4
644 And finally, button up and take good care of yourself.....you belong to me. 1.2692 0.08291 52 42 6 4
645 Your mother says you can start honoring her now, and put on your sweater. 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
646 And on your way down, thou shalt stop at the dry cleaners. 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
647 Trust me, you'll need it. 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
648 This may be a little big - I had to guess your size 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
649 OMG, you're delivering for Amazon too! 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
650 You won't see the promised land, but I did knit you this sweater. 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
651 # 11—Thou shall not wear polyester 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
652 What do you know that I don't know? 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
653 Thou art truly my Lord and tailor. 1.2679 0.06974 56 43 11 2
654 So, you're thinking they're going to have a cold reception? 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
655 Woolite is a recommendation not a commandment. 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
656 Put it on. This might take a while. 1.2679 0.08254 56 46 5 5
657 Robes are so last year. 1.2679 0.06974 56 43 11 2
658 Oh....and take this sweater. You could get a chilly response 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
659 Moses darling...so you shouldn't get cold. 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
660 Not now, mother! 1.2679 0.08638 56 47 3 6
661 Woops! Your wife slipped out of the sweater! 1.2679 0.08254 56 46 5 5
662 Number 11: Thou shalt not wash wool in hot water. 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
663 Tell them it would be ten suggestions if it weren't already etched in stone. And here--try not to look so authoritarian. 1.2679 0.06974 56 43 11 2
664 Honor Thy Mother...take a sweater. 1.2679 0.06974 56 43 11 2
665 Add this. It's a fashion sin. 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
666 I’m afraid it doesn’t fit, Moses. But it’s the thought that counts, is it not? 1.2679 0.06974 56 43 11 2
667 Its a cold world out there. Amen. 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
668 Not a commandment, just a suggestion. Bulky knits will be all the rage this fall. 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
669 Moses!! Listen to your mother! Put on this sweater or you will catch your death of cold! 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
670 acrylic? of course it's not acrylic. 1.2679 0.06974 56 43 11 2
671 Thou shalt not wear that robe with those sandals. 1.2679 0.06492 56 42 13 1
672 I got a little bored on the 7th day so I made you this. It should fit perfectly! 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
673 And I'm changing your name to Eskimoses. 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
674 Oh dear Lord, I asked that you make our lives sweeter; not make us a sweater 1.2679 0.08254 56 46 5 5
675 No, I'm Moses. Not Joseph. 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
676 God's not only a woman, she's my mother! 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
677 Dress warmly, take two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
678 If you're going to be a prophet, you should dress like one. 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
679 Just in case they give you a cold shoulder 1.2642 0.07204 53 41 10 2
680 I know it's a little early for Christmas. 1.2642 0.08149 53 43 6 4
681 I almost forgot forgot; you left this at the Pharaoh's. 1.2642 0.08149 53 43 6 4
682 Tempting, but I don't believe in trade agreements. 1.2642 0.07691 53 42 8 3
683 Your mother said put this on. It's cold up there and you'll catch a cold. 1.2642 0.08149 53 43 6 4
684 Here. It doesn't fit anymore since it shrunk in the flood. 1.2642 0.07204 53 41 10 2
685 This is for you for Christmas, but, oops, I'm getting ahead of myself. 1.2642 0.07204 53 41 10 2
686 Here you go. Our new team hoodie. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
687 I knitted it myself; thou shalt wear it! 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
688 …And your mother asked me to give you this. 1.2593 0.06574 54 41 12 1
689 Can you hold these for a second while I try it on? 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
690 Nahshon's mother gave him one and I don't hear him complaining. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
691 Change of plans. We're moving to Canada. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
692 Wear it, my son. It will help you attract the younger generation. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
693 On second thought, 'Thou Shalt Wash Thy Sweater in Cold Water' is more of a tip than a commandment. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
694 I heard from your mother. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
695 These new Amazon drones are amazing 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
696 You have shoes, here is a shirt. You should now be able to enter the hardware store. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
697 I thought we were talking about global warming. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
698 And this is from your grandmother. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
699 Number 11, don't sweater the small stuff. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
700 "And last but not least - never leave home without a sweater". 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
701 Put this on. Don't make me burn another bush. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
702 Put it on. The reception may be quite cold. 1.2593 0.06574 54 41 12 1
703 Thou shalt hand wash only, and lay flat to dry. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
704 Oh, and you'll need this - I turned off the burning bush. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
705 Take this, those might get a cool reception. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
706 Trust me, initial reception will be a bit chilly. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
707 Just in case you get a cold reception to my commandments. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
708 OK, I can live with the Commandments, but I'll be damned if I'll wear that schmatta. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
709 And, as a side note, Thou shalt not wear pajamas all day. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
710 Excuse me but I think that coat of many colors is meant for Joseph. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
711 Here, put this on, you're about to get a chilly reception. 1.2593 0.06574 54 41 12 1
712 It's gonna be a tough sell, so you'll need to wear something trendy. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
713 If you are going to wander in the wilderness for 40 years, you'll need a nice warm sweater. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
714 And one more thing, no man shall wear a cardigan until after the age of 40. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
715 Oh, and Thou Shalt Keepeth Warm! 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
716 Two tablets and a sweater for my cold. Thank you Lord. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
717 expect a chilly reception 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
718 You'll catch plague. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
719 To the non-believers: This linen infused, triple woven striped turtleneck will satisfy any doubts of my existence. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
720 A cold reception? We've got you covered. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
721 Take this! Your reception at home may get a little cold! 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
722 Also, dress in layers. 1.2593 0.06574 54 41 12 1
723 This will fix the threads. Next, we update your tablets. 1.2593 0.06574 54 41 12 1
724 And speaking of hand-me-downs... 1.2593 0.08437 54 45 4 5
725 Moses, put this on! I'm anticipating a chilly reception when you get back down. 1.2593 0.08437 54 45 4 5
726 But I look fat in stripes! 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
727 six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work, including laundry 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
728 Here...Don't want you to get a Sinai infection. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
729 Two tablets, some chicken soup, and for MY sake wear a sweater! 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
730 Would you mind exchanging the for me? I just need a larger size 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
731 Yes, mother, I'm giving it to him, but we're not adding it to the list. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
732 From the north face of Mount Sinai 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
733 If they don't follow those, give this to Noah, okay. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
734 ....and all I ask is 10% of all sales. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
735 Or, I've got a nice fruitcake if you'd prefer. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
736 Don't worry. The shipping is free. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
737 What, you don't like my robe? 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
738 Number 11: Thou shalt not . . . Oh, forget it. Just put on a sweater, okay? 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
739 Oh, and, before I forget, could you do me a solid and pass this along to Jacob? 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
740 But are you sure global warming is real? 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
741 No, what I said was that I`m too OLD for all this. 1.2593 0.08437 54 45 4 5
742 Oh God, not another Christmas sweater. 1.2593 0.06574 54 41 12 1
743 Try it on. I made it from those new "miracle" fibers. 1.2593 0.08437 54 45 4 5
744 Oh, and one more... "Though shalt not put wool sweaters in the dryer,." 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
745 And the Lord God said unto him, "Moishe, take a little sweater, you shouldn't catch a chill." 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
746 It's warmer than a burning bush. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
747 Here, this will help you warm up to the rules. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
748 Gosh. Patagonia is everywhere. 1.2593 0.08437 54 45 4 5
749 and thou shalt not catch thy death of cold, climbing a mountain dressed like that! Thus spake thy mother. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
750 Yes, cashmere is kosher. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
751 It's water-proof. 1.2593 0.08437 54 45 4 5
752 It gets cold in the desert at night. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
753 What was that about a cold day in hell? 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
754 It will be a cold day in hell before I can follow all ten of these. 1.2593 0.08437 54 45 4 5
755 One last hand-me-down. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
756 Mom's cold. Just put it on. 1.2593 0.08437 54 45 4 5
757 Try this on, I swear to Me it'll fit. 1.2593 0.07563 54 43 8 3
758 Some of them won't listen until hell freezes over. 1.2593 0.08012 54 44 6 4
759 It's chilly at night in the desert. 1.2593 0.06574 54 41 12 1
760 #11: thou shalt not have machine-washed this. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
761 Finally, a little something from my wife. 1.2553 0.07735 47 37 8 2
762 Finally, Moses, something for that cold day in Hell when the Law is embraced. 1.2549 0.08786 51 43 3 5
763 I left it in the dryer too long - see if it fits. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
764 ..and wear this next visit, Moshe. Burning bushes don't grow on trees. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
765 Expect an icy reception. 1.2549 0.08328 51 42 5 4
766 Behold the original hand-me-down. 1.2549 0.07843 51 41 7 3
767 Thank you Lord but I asked for peace, not fleece. 1.2549 0.06770 51 39 11 1
768 I just finished it. If you don't like it, you don't have to wear it. 1.2549 0.07843 51 41 7 3
769 Abraham gave this to me and it shrunk in the wash--maybe it'll fit you? 1.2549 0.07843 51 41 7 3
770 By the way, I know it's a little early, but Merry Christmas. 1.2549 0.07843 51 41 7 3
771 Oh, is there a climate change! 1.2549 0.07843 51 41 7 3
772 Old, I said. Not cold. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
773 It's a cold day in hell. 1.2549 0.08328 51 42 5 4
774 No! I said, 'Thou shalt knit. 1.2549 0.06770 51 39 11 1
775 Your mother said you might need this because of the cold. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
776 Oh and if you get a minute can you also drop my sweater off at the cleaners 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
777 On second thought, take this instead. It's much more practical. 1.2549 0.06770 51 39 11 1
778 Thous shalt not dry clean. 1.2549 0.08328 51 42 5 4
779 How thoughtful, and it's not even Christmas. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
780 Is that one of my lost sheep?! 1.2549 0.08328 51 42 5 4
781 Honor thy mother by putting on a sweater before thou catches a cold. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
782 Sorry, my hands are full. 1.2549 0.08328 51 42 5 4
783 And would you drop this off at the cleaners. 1.2549 0.07843 51 41 7 3
784 That was clumsy. He's fallen out. 1.2549 0.08786 51 43 3 5
785 And tell Jebediah if he makes another idol I'm taking his sandals too 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
786 I'm starting this thing called "Winter." You're gonna need it. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
787 In case of chilly reception 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
788 Maybe he only had ten, but I'm just getting started. Now put this on, you'll catch your death. 1.2549 0.07843 51 41 7 3
789 You might also consider a decent pair of shoes. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
790 Oh and Bubeleh, you look a little cold. 1.2549 0.06770 51 39 11 1
791 And if you take all 10 commandments I’ll throw in this fabulous wool-knit sweater! 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
792 Gonna need this, the US has abandoned the Paris Climate Accord 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
793 The Valley of the Shadow of Death gets cold at night. 1.2549 0.07843 51 41 7 3
794 I got this at Old Testament Navy. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
795 No thanks. I'll just take these two tablets and call you in the morning. 1.2549 0.06163 51 38 13 0
796 Does this mean I am not going to hell? 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
797 Thou shalt not catch a chill. 1.2549 0.06770 51 39 11 1
798 Think of it as the ultimate hand-me-down 1.2549 0.06770 51 39 11 1
799 Listen to your mother! The desert gets cold at night. 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
800 Thou Shalt Honor Casual Fridays. 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
801 Why do I always get the hand me downs? 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
802 Just because you're made in my image doesn't mean we wear the same size 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
803 This is not a commandment. It's just a suggestion. 1.2500 0.06656 52 40 11 1
804 You'll need this. 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
805 Lord, I asked that you give me real shoes. 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
806 ...and Eleven: Thou shalt gently wash with like colors. 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
807 Does this look white and gold to you? I see black and blue. 1.2500 0.08630 52 44 3 5
808 No thanks, the burning bush is enough. 1.2500 0.06063 52 39 13 0
809 By the time all peoples adhere to those rules; you will need this. 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
810 Amazon Prime?! 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
811 Appreciate the helping hand, but it's a cold day in hell, not here. 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
812 Bring them something they'll actually use. 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
813 ...and this one's more of a suggestion, but I'd like you all to wear Team God sweaters. 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
814 Do you see Black and Blue or White and Gold? 1.2500 0.06656 52 40 11 1
815 You maybe a jealous God, but you really are quite thoughtful, as well. 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
816 Thou shalt give this present to family members every year and it shalt be begrudgingly received. 1.2500 0.06656 52 40 11 1
817 Thou shalt layer. 1.2500 0.06656 52 40 11 1
818 I know I said Sunday was the day for rest but I got bored and made you a sweater. 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
819 With 10 you get a free gift! 1.2500 0.06656 52 40 11 1
820 Congratulations Moses, you have enough points for free delivery. 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
821 Those aren't my colors. 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
822 You don't like this rainbow jacket? 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
823 this is a request, not a caption: please resist irony and toss all the 'antisemitism lite' captions (e.g., god as Jewish mother worrying that Moses doesn't know how cold the desert gets at night). 1.2500 0.08630 52 44 3 5
824 Take this sweater and two tablets and call me in the morning 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
825 That was a typo. It's covet, not cover. 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
826 Your mother called. 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
827 Commandment 11: Always bring a sweater. 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
828 Forget about leaving the desert. I give unto you, the shmata business. 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
829 Can't I just warm by the burning bush? 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
830 Your grandma made this for you 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
831 Oh, and wear this so I can find you! 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
832 Of course I understand that this is a big day for you bubby, but you shouldn't catch a death of a cold God forbid 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
833 Your mother worked very hard on this sweater 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
834 It's hand of god made. 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
835 A free gift with every tenth Commandment! 1.2500 0.06656 52 40 11 1
836 It's Adam's 1.2500 0.08181 52 43 5 4
837 ...and I made it myself. 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
838 Hell is about to freeze over 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
839 Because I said so. 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
840 Take it my son. It was my father's, and his father's before him. 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
841 Are you hinting a chilly reception? 1.2449 0.06207 49 37 12 0
842 You either wander for forty years, or you wear this ugly sweater...your choice. 1.2449 0.08002 49 40 6 3
843 The Devil wears Prada, you need to wear Dolce and Gabbana. 1.2444 0.07216 45 35 9 1
844 I have a feeling I'll be out here for awhile. 1.2444 0.07216 45 35 9 1
845 You shall not wear a material mixed of wool and linen together; unless of course it is a steal. Gaze upon this wool and linen sweater, purchased for only 8.99. 1.2444 0.07216 45 35 9 1
846 Put this on the bush. 1.2444 0.08502 45 37 5 3
847 Put this on. Your mother was worried that you'd catch a cold. 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
848 Check out my visit with God! #rolandmouret pants #tomford sunnies, #hermesscarf #valentinorockstudheels #valentino 1.2400 0.07318 50 40 8 2
849 Honor thy mother and father - Put on your coat so you don't catch cold! 1.2400 0.07318 50 40 8 2
850 'Consider it an early Christmas present' 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
851 I've got you covered. 1.2400 0.06737 50 39 10 1
852 Oh and put this on to show that I'm making good use of those sacrificed sheep. 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
853 Listen to God. It's going to get cold. 1.2400 0.06737 50 39 10 1
854 Take it. It gets cold in the desert at night. 1.2400 0.07318 50 40 8 2
855 I appologize lord, but was itchy sweater the punishment for adultry or stealing? 1.2400 0.06737 50 39 10 1
856 I said I was "called"--not "cold"! 1.2400 0.06737 50 39 10 1
857 I asked for a hoodie. 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
858 I thought the golden fleece was the other guys. 1.2400 0.07318 50 40 8 2
859 Number 11--Thou shalt not ignore climate change! 1.2400 0.07318 50 40 8 2
860 And thou shalt dress appropriately to the weather. 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
861 Also, can you bring this to Aaron? He lent it to me like 3 months ago and I totally forgot about it. 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
862 Oy vey, desert nights are cold. Bubbaleh, here, you take a sweater. Go on. You take it and you wear it. 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
863 The eleventh commandment is written, “Obey Your Mother”. Now, put on sweater. 1.2400 0.07318 50 40 8 2
864 They're enough of a hard sell without that prophet-of-doom look. 1.2400 0.07318 50 40 8 2
865 Of course, Lord, no white jackets after Labor Day. 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
866 I shall be thy Lord and you shall be my Taylor. 1.2400 0.07318 50 40 8 2
867 Tell Cindy I love the colors, but it's too small. 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
868 And here's something else from your Lord and tailor. 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
869 Thanks, no, these are quite enough. 1.2400 0.06101 50 38 12 0
870 A hoodie, Lord? Surely you jest? 1.2400 0.08834 50 43 2 5
871 And as a bonus for being my first subscriber, you will receive this garment. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
872 You should take this; my son has outgrown it. 1.2340 0.08716 47 40 3 4
873 Eleven: Thou shalt not pay full price at Banana Republic. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
874 Here, put this on, I'm cold. 1.2340 0.08716 47 40 3 4
875 Do you have one that's waterproof? 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
876 And now for a suggestion. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
877 I thought you said global warming? 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
878 Take the two tablets, put this on, and call me in the morning. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
879 Thou shalt obey thy mother 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
880 It'll be a cold day... 1.2340 0.06243 47 36 11 0
881 You shall not regift, but it's ok if I do. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
882 Thou shalt not chill. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
883 Take two tablets before bed-time and keep warm. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
884 Is it handmade ? 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
885 My son, climate change will amaze thee. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
886 Listen to your mother. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
887 Did my mother call you? 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
888 Here bubala, there might be a draft. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
889 Moshalet, you forgot your sweater 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
890 You'll need it later...take My word for it. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
891 Bless you. Put this on, take two tablets and worship me in the morning. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
892 You're going to need this. Winter is coming. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
893 You'll want this later -- trust me. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
894 And finally, thou shalt not leave the house without a sweater 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
895 After 40 years of wandering the desert, I'm assuming you're sample size. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
896 This won't work ,I don't have any pants 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
897 ... and start making these with the lambs' wool. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
898 And on the 8th day there was a fuzzy sweater, and it was good. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
899 In case you get a chilly reception. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
900 Come back tomorrow, I'll give you some pants..... 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
901 You wear it to honor your mother. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
902 It's not a commandment just a strong suggestion. 1.2340 0.06243 47 36 11 0
903 I'm good. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
904 Oh, and here's something nice for your wife. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
905 Take two tablets and wear this in the morning. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
906 Sorry, no. I only wear clothes made in America. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
907 Honor your mother; put this on. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
908 God, the Mother. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
909 I dont think I can fleece this flock again 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
910 Moses, go down and read all the people my commandments, and then give this to Barak, he's been pestering me for months. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
911 I told you to wear your sweater if you were coming up here! And where are your galoshes? 1.2340 0.08716 47 40 3 4
912 I believe in science! 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
913 I got this for christmas. It’s really nice, but kind of itchy. You want it? 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
914 ...and if you purchase both tablets, you get a complimentary hoodie. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
915 Wrong Mountain 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
916 Take this because it will be a cold day in hell before you can get anyone to follow those rules 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
917 Please return it when the earth starts warming. 1.2340 0.08716 47 40 3 4
918 Try this on. Jesus & Muhammad don't value Luxury Egyptian Cotton 1.2340 0.08716 47 40 3 4
919 Trust me, you'll need this for the eclipse. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
920 This is Ararat. You want Everest. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
921 It's an eleventh one from your mom. 1.2340 0.08716 47 40 3 4
922 Snow's on the way. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
923 I'm not that cool any more. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
924 Thanks, but I really need sunglasses. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
925 But wait, there's more! 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
926 Or I have a staff you can turn into snakes. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
927 And especially remember the 11th. Thou shalt be prepared for climate change. 1.2340 0.08716 47 40 3 4
928 Honor thy mother, who said to wear this. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
929 Number 11: Don't forget your sweater. 1.2340 0.06243 47 36 11 0
930 ...and take this too, it really works with the Birkenstocks. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
931 I forgot to add 'Thou Shalt Not Wear Polyester' 1.2340 0.08716 47 40 3 4
932 Go down and tell the Israelites their mother says to bring a sweater. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
933 Put this on. It's heavenly. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
934 You might want this also. On the off chance that hell freezes over. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
935 Thanks but we've got the bush still burning below. We're all good. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
936 Take this. The reception may be a little chilly. 1.2340 0.08716 47 40 3 4
937 You can discard the Tablets they are available in paperback now 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
938 I know I don't have a son yet, but it's December 25th and you'll appreciate this someday. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
939 You'll thank me when you get to Oregon. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
940 First thing's first: Thou shalt look fabulous. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
941 Finally, thou shalt not go out in the cold without a sweater. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
942 Thou shall not wear white after Labor Day 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
943 Thou shalt not say I never gave you anything. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
944 11. Thou shalt be chic. 1.2340 0.09232 47 41 1 5
945 I outgrew it eons ago. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
946 You should know..it's warming, not cooling ! 1.2340 0.09232 47 41 1 5
947 Congratulations! As the first tablets customer, you get a free sweater. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
948 This is for when "hell freezes over". 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
949 Your mom thought you looked a little cold. You know how she worries. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
950 Come on, Moses. Two lousy tablets for one cashmere sweater. A bargain at twice the price. You're just going to break them anyway. 1.2340 0.07581 47 38 7 2
951 And give this back to the Philistines. It's too small for me. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
952 This is from your mother...she said she's sorry for putting you in the basket in the water. 1.2340 0.06944 47 37 9 1
953 Oh, and last but not least ... 1.2326 0.07319 43 34 8 1
954 Here. It's a schlep. 1.2326 0.07319 43 34 8 1
955 It comes as a bundled set. 1.2326 0.07319 43 34 8 1
956 and with every 10 commandments you get a free windbreaker 1.2326 0.08040 43 35 6 2
957 Do you have to in red. 1.2292 0.08011 48 40 5 3
958 In the Old Testament we see that God's gifts get progressively better as the book goes on. 1.2292 0.08011 48 40 5 3
959 He's still working on it. A little something warm while you wait? 1.2292 0.08011 48 40 5 3
960 On second thought, scrap that. Just do what your mother says. 1.2292 0.08011 48 40 5 3
961 Just a little something for the chill you'll receive when you present these commandments. 1.2273 0.07170 44 35 8 1
962 Are you trying to tell me something? 1.2273 0.07170 44 35 8 1
963 Your Father had to take a call and asked me to help out. Did you get to the part about honoring your mother? O. K. So next is to put on clean underwear each day. Next, it couldn't hurt to call us once in a while. 1.2273 0.07873 44 36 6 2
964 Made with one hundred percent sacrificial lambs. 1.2273 0.08518 44 37 4 3
965 Number 4 was a typo. Change it to 'Remember the sweater, and keep it holy.' 1.2273 0.07170 44 35 8 1
966 I'm not sure how long this will take, and it gets chilly up here at night. 1.2273 0.07873 44 36 6 2
967 Moses, it's a wrap. 1.2273 0.07170 44 35 8 1
968 They're not gonna follow the rules we give them. If you want them to follow you, wear this. 1.2273 0.07170 44 35 8 1
969 Unfortunately, I can't exchange it if it's not your size. 1.2273 0.08518 44 37 4 3
970 You may need this for another plague I'm planning. 1.2222 0.06268 45 35 10 0
971 And for number 11, you really need to start dressing sensibly. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
972 You should expect a cold reception. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
973 In all this excitement, I almost forgot your birthday! 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
974 The origins of the First Ugly Christmas Sweater. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
975 I was hoping for pants, my Lord. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
976 I want you to keep nice and warm, take two tablets and call me in the morning 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
977 These messages brought to you by Pantagonia. 1.2222 0.08927 45 39 2 4
978 Mom? 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
979 And finally, here's a divine little number that Zipporah will adore. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
980 And then God said, "Let there be cashmere" 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
981 I distinctly remember ordering it in blue. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
982 Lucifer keeps sending Gabriel clothes he knows won't fit without wing holes, but the sweater is yours if you want it. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
983 It's nice, but I think I'll take the everlasting life. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
984 This one's just a suggestion... 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
985 And look what else I made. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
986 What do you mean, 'Winter is coming'? 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
987 No! I said, 'Thou shalt knit. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
988 You never know. 1.2222 0.08927 45 39 2 4
989 Your Mom said you need this. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
990 Our brand sponsor wants you to wear this. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
991 Your mother said for you to wear this. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
992 40 years is a long time - I don't want you to catch a chill. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
993 Let there be fashion. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
994 When you go with the complete set, you get a free t-shirt. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
995 If you can sell those, you can sell these 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
996 Honour thy mother... 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
997 Add just one more. Eleven: Thou shalt not go outside without a sweater and galoshes. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
998 Thou shalt never wear poly cotton blend. 1.2222 0.06268 45 35 10 0
999 . . . Change into this, take two tablets, and call me in the morning. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1000 Here! And for my sake, put some pants on! 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1001 The truth is, on the seventh day I knit. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1002 Remember the moth, who maketh it holy. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1003 And for an additional $4.99, I'll throw in this one-of-a-kind sweater. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1004 You'll need this coat of mail when they see the one about adultery. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1005 Does it come in a covet blue? 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1006 Take these gifts. They will allow human kind to someday develop a judicial system and pants. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1007 ...I said cashmere. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1008 Thou shalt not pay full retail for sweaters. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1009 Do you have something a little more Goddish? 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1010 And this is just more of a suggestion. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1011 Well, it might just freeze over before I give you an answer. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1012 It can get chilly in the desert at night. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1013 Oh! I almost forgot! I knitted this myself. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1014 The return shipping label is on your left. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1015 Even I can't avoid shrinkage. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1016 And here's your bonus gift. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1017 ... No. 11 - Thou shalt dress in layers ... 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1018 Thou shalt not wearest this around the neck, only tied around the waist. 1.2222 0.08927 45 39 2 4
1019 Hey Moses -- "It's cold up here". Realized I forgot one commandment.... "Thou shalt offer warmth to thy neighbor" 1.2222 0.06268 45 35 10 0
1020 churchy words will not keep you warm this winter. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1021 It's from Grandma Moses. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1022 Consider it one more hand me down! 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1023 Customers who bought this also bought... 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1024 Not mine. Might be Joseph's. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1025 Here, put this on. It'll make you look less crazy. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1026 It's part of our new Prophet line. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1027 You might need this - I'm anticipating a chilly reception. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1028 Here forecast is rain for 40 days 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1029 Don't expect a warm reception. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1030 but wool gets really itchy in the desert; got anything in cotton? 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1031 Thou shalt not machine dry thy wool garments. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1032 Thou shalt not re-gift. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1033 I'm about to change the weather. 1.2222 0.06268 45 35 10 0
1034 You should see the credit on your tablet in the next billing cycle. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1035 What do you mean it's too 'gay'? 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1036 ... and your mother added, 'thou shalt not forget thy sweater in Egypt!' 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1037 She doesn't want you should catch cold. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1038 Moses to God: "Let my people sew" 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1039 Your mother wants you to put this on. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1040 This will come in handy around 5819... 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1041 Yes, it IS a commandment. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1042 Trust me, you'll need it for Christmas. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1043 Tell thy neighbor's wife to wear this. 1.2222 0.08927 45 39 2 4
1044 Number 11: Thou shall be prepared for a Trump nuclear winter. 1.2222 0.08927 45 39 2 4
1045 Tempted? You are. I can tell. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1046 Take the sweater, Moses. The reception is gonna' be frosty! 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1047 Do you have that in a large? 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1048 I'm not Joseph, I'm Moses. 1.2222 0.08927 45 39 2 4
1049 I'm planning a snowstorm next week. 1.2222 0.06268 45 35 10 0
1050 Put it in the Goodwill pile. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1051 Don't argue. It gets very chilly in the desert at night. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1052 Take the sweater. If the walk to the promised land takes longer than you think , you'll thank me for this later. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1053 I meant to give this to Adam, but he left earlier than I thought. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1054 If they don't buy the commandments, bring them up the mountain and sell them sweaters! 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1055 Since nobody claimed it in forty days, it's yours. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1056 For when Hell freezes over. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1057 It's time. Hell's freezing over. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1058 OMG, it's perfect! 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1059 I only had room for ten, but just remember it's dry clean only. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1060 Don't expect a warm welcome down there 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1061 What hath God knit? 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1062 I do and do and do for you kids. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1063 Next, thou shalt not chill. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1064 No, I'm not commanding you. I'm just suggesting. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1065 "Yes thank you, it is Devine and I knitted it myself". 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1066 How about a solid in a V neck? 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1067 Desert schmesert. It still gets cold at night. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1068 Oh good Lord, just what I don't need...another hand-me-down! 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1069 On a lighter note, I have really improved my knitting skills. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1070 11. Trust Amazon for fast delivery 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1071 A request from your mother. She says, 'bushes don't burn forever, ya know!' 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1072 Take this, it won't be a warm reception. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1073 Fine! It was just a suggestion. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1074 Proof that God is a Woman. Actually a Jewish Mother 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1075 Thanks, but what is your return policy? 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1076 Ten is as low as I can do; but I will throw in a cashmere hoodie. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1077 Talbots? 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1078 Wow, Amazon has really stepped up their game. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1079 Somehow I always envisioned You as left-handed. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1080 So you really can't control the weather? 1.2222 0.06268 45 35 10 0
1081 It is the right size, trust me. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1082 ... this sweater, chicken soup, and for heaven's sake, would it kill you to wear some warm socks, 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1083 Oh, and thou shalt knit. 1.2222 0.08927 45 39 2 4
1084 One more thing, if you run into a guy named Joseph, please give him this. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1085 Also, can you give this to Miriam? She left it at my place... 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1086 Here, take this and give me those back. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1087 And your mother wanted me to give you this...just in case. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1088 It's kevlar. You may need it. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1089 It's waterproof. Don't ask why. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1090 One more thing - Honor thy mother and wear your sweater. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1091 Because I told you, if you keep parting seas in nothing but a robe, you're going to catch a cold. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1092 To wash, lay flat on two stone tablets. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1093 The other Israelites will laugh at me. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1094 "It's a God given gift". 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1095 really? tablets, a sweater and a burning bush, they'll never believe me! 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1096 Do you have that in a different colour? 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1097 You know we're in the desert don't you ? 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1098 I just remembered eleven. If you're going to go out in the cold, thall shalt put on a sweater. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1099 I said take 2 tablets AND put on a hoodie! 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1100 And now for the fashion commandments. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1101 Will I really need that in the desert? 1.2222 0.06268 45 35 10 0
1102 Well, it's more of a suggestion. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1103 Take the two tablets and wear this. You'll feel better in the morning. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1104 What, so only mothers worry? 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1105 Ten Commandments and a bit of advice, it's cold up here. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1106 Don't worry. It's flame retardant. 1.2222 0.07027 45 36 8 1
1107 Thou shalt not put this in the dryer. 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1108 Next topic: sins against fashion. For example, . . . 1.2222 0.08342 45 38 4 3
1109 I used to make women as gifts but that didn't turn out so great. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1110 It's hand made. 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1111 and you thought I forgot your birthday 1.2222 0.07713 45 37 6 2
1112 On second thought can you make it a wetsuit? 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1113 I can get a better selection plus free shipping from Amazon Prime. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1114 Is there a matching yamaka? 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1115 Moshe, Moshe, how many times I've told you? Midout a sweater, out you don't go. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1116 The Lord giveth and the Lord exchangeth. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1117 While we're at it, here is another hand-me-down. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1118 Take two tablets before bed and keep warm. 1.2174 0.08744 46 40 2 4
1119 Is this another "hand me down"? 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1120 Robes are so last year. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1121 The original Jewish grandmother. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1122 Go on—it's cashmere. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1123 Moses decides between wandering in the desert for 40 years or wearing a cowl neck sweater. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1124 Look, Moses my son. Think of it as the 11th. When you're on a mountaintop, bundle up, or you'll catch your death. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1125 Toss in some trousers and we have a deal! 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1126 No: I meant thou shalt cover thy neighbor's ass. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1127 Divine insulation. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1128 You'll be honoring your Mother if you wear this... 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1129 Oh sure, I'll just tell the masses I traded the commandments for a hoodie. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1130 Virgin wool you say....! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1131 Thanks, but I don't think I need that where I'm going. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1132 Of course, we will follow each and every Commandment to the letter, sweater God. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1133 Just put it on. I wouldn't want that you should catch a cold before such an important event. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
1134 I don't care if I ordered it online--that's not the right color! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1135 Your mother told me to give you this. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1136 Thou shalt knot, you nit! 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1137 Does that come in plaid? 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1138 Thanks, God. You too -- you could put on your gloves. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
1139 It's all yours. And you can keep the rocks. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1140 Merry Christmas! 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1141 There’s nothing wrong with it—I just washed it in hot. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1142 Ya know, God, I could really use a compass instead. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1143 Then God delivered the eleventh commandment, 'thou shall dry clean only.' 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1144 Son, I knitted this for you, incase you feel like staying on top of the mountain for a little longer; a little kugel, a little schnapps --- We'll talk... 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1145 ... but you have to 'own' it 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
1146 Expecting a chilly reception, are we? 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1147 Buy 10, get 1 free. 1.2174 0.08173 46 39 4 3
1148 Just a plug for my heavenly Fall collection 1.2128 0.07410 47 39 6 2
1149 No? Fine then. But if you shiver and drop the tablets, do you really want to see what I'll do? 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1150 Thank you LORD, I know I'm asking alot, but if I don't bring my wife back something from every trip there's hell to pay! 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1151 Thou shall not pay retail for garments. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1152 Finally, the alt-right can believe in global warming! 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1153 ...for the desert hath chill in the night. 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1154 Oh, Mom! 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1155 And return this, my Son thinks the stripes my him look Fat! 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1156 It's called Merino wool. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1157 Thou shall not wear solid white after Rosh Hashana. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1158 You left this on a chair in the restaurant by the Red Sea. 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1159 In addition to this covenant I've inscribed in stone for the the whole of mankind, I also knitted you this lovely pique wool-silk sweater with ribbed neckline, cuffs and hem. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1160 No thanks; the burning bush is warm enough. 1.2093 0.06277 43 34 9 0
1161 The forty days aren't so bad, it's the forty nights, here. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1162 Break any of the commandments - you won't be needing a sweater. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1163 Here you go Moses. I told you it would be a cold day in hell before a Trump became a President. Well, sorry friend, I was misspoken. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1164 Maybe it'll go over better if you wear the sweater. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1165 Put this on, you're liable to get a chilly reception with those tablets. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1166 Take it. It may get cold in the desert. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1167 Perhaps a little something for the wife, too, would be in both of our best interests. 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1168 Oh, and give this to Morty. He looks cold. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1169 Just trust me. You're going to be spending a lot of time in the desert, and the nights are cold. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1170 Where your going you won't need this. 1.2093 0.09149 43 38 1 4
1171 Take this, you can expect a chilly reception. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1172 ...So you shouldn't catch a chill when the bush shuts off at sundown... 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1173 It's cold, so your mother added an eleventh Commandment. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1174 You're going to get a cold reception. You'll need it 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1175 Mount Sinai can get chilly at night 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1176 On second thought, I'll take the sweater! 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1177 I wanted a coat of many colors. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1178 The Gap was having an amazing sale. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1179 Whatever you do, don't get this wet. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1180 And the eleventh one--put this on so you don't catch cold. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1181 And this is for the chilly reception you'll be getting. 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1182 They'll listen more if you tell them Yeezy made this. 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1183 Trust me, your reception upon return may be a little chilly. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1184 You'll need this. Things might take a while. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1185 On the seventh day, I knit. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1186 Aren't REI dividends the best, Mo? 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1187 Winter is coming. #GoT 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1188 And thus, Jebediah was prepared for the annual ugly Christmas sweater contest 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1189 I'm thinking of having an ice age 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1190 Here. The reception you'll get will be a little chilly. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1191 Oh, God. Haven't you heard? We're gonna make it hotter! 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1192 Hand me downs. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1193 …5. Honor your father and your mother: Wear a sweater. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1194 Your mother's cold - put on a sweater 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1195 Thou shalt not warm the globe. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1196 When you find Waldo give him this sweater. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1197 Seek, and ye shall find Waldo. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1198 And drop this off at the cleaners on your way down. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1199 Moses, dear, of course I'm a woman. Now, don't drop those and - here - take this... the desert gets cold at night. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1200 What? So there is a hand coming from clouds now? 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1201 You need to be properly dressed if you're going to make a delivery! 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1202 Thanks, but your 10 commandments were more than enough, I really don't need a sweater 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1203 But I don't want a new image. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1204 You work in mysterious ways. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1205 You're going to get an especially chilly reception on number 7. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1206 You're going to get a pretty chilly reception down there 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1207 Then God said, "It's chilly, put this sweater on." 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1208 You might get a cool reception. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1209 Are the pants ready too? 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1210 Leave the shoes, take the sweater 1.2093 0.06277 43 34 9 0
1211 Take this.... I embroidered them on the back. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1212 Isn't HSN several thousand years in the future? 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1213 Don't be a hypocrite, Honor thy Mother and put on this sweater. 1.2093 0.06277 43 34 9 0
1214 You'll need this. The desert gets cold at night. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1215 the 11th...dress for success 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1216 Wear this hoodie. Adultery is still on the list. 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1217 Father, I'm losing support from urban millennials 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1218 No more burning bushes...you might need this! 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1219 It's a hand-me-down from Joseph. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1220 No Moses, I didn't say the "promised land", I said "Iceland". 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1221 Thou shalt also stay warm. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1222 I loved it but it was washed in hot water. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1223 I mean this with all the respect in the world ... but couldn't you have given me the coat first? 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1224 One more; Thou shall not tumble dry. 1.2093 0.06277 43 34 9 0
1225 Here's a sweater to go with those commpantments. 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1226 You drive a hard bargain. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1227 And here's a little something from the wife... 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1228 And one more thing...so you don't catch a chill. 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1229 I'm sure I asked for a cardigan. 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1230 Consider it the Eleventh Commandment. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1231 And wear woolens while sleeping at night. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1232 Are you trying to tell me something about climate change? 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1233 With each set of ten you get a free coat. 1.2093 0.08522 43 37 3 3
1234 Good work, Moses. But you forgot Number 11: "Always bring a sweater." 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1235 Thou shalt wear a hoodie. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1236 Moses, you may need this after the crossing 1.2093 0.07105 43 35 7 1
1237 Are you sure? This one is semi-formal. 1.2093 0.06277 43 34 9 0
1238 Just hang on to it...it's small on me. 1.2093 0.07846 43 36 5 2
1239 Take your tablets and remember to wear a jacket: its flu season. 1.2051 0.07510 39 32 6 1
1240 I get it now, "Cover your neighbor's wife" 1.2000 0.07338 40 33 6 1
1241 Your mother asked me to make sure you had brought a sweater. 1.2000 0.08165 40 34 4 2
1242 Here is the deal: If your guys do a good job selling the world on the Ten Commandments, I will then choose them to start the schmatta business. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1243 It's from the Holy Lamb of God! 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1244 Many are called but few are frozen. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1245 Is it cashmere?? 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1246 Take this too. I may make it shpritz later. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1247 Yes! Is real! 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1248 Take this, global warming won't be coming for a while. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1249 Think of it as a very early Christmas gift. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1250 So your saying I should bring a coat 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1251 Thank you Moses for spreading the word of my Commandments. I hope you're a size medium. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1252 This might help for those cold Canaan nights. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1253 While you're waiting for them to obey, stay warm! 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1254 Mother Earth knitted it for you. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1255 I said shiva not shiver! 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1256 And here's a little something for Aaron. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1257 Put it on, you're going to be here a while. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1258 So those 10 are from me, and your Bubbe says you should really wear a sweater or you'll catch a chill 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1259 Ma! Quit hovering! 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1260 Quit micromanaging me! 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1261 Thou shall update your look. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1262 It's a lot further from hell than you think. 1.1951 0.06266 41 33 8 0
1263 Wait, you want me to lead them where? 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1264 Jesus is a medium. 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1265 Hipsters are coming - you'll need to change. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1266 Thou shalt wear cashmere.! 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1267 What were you expecting, a shawl? 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1268 All transactions are final. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1269 You don't have to take it literally. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1270 Jesus, Mary and Joseph, put on a sweater!" "Who? 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1271 Waldo raptured; they'll never find him. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1272 Guess what's freezing over? 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1273 Take these two tablets and dress warmly 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1274 I don't recall 'personal errands' being in the job description. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1275 #11: Thou shalt not wear horizontal stripes 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1276 Don't forget your sweater. 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1277 Here, you might just get chilly reception. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1278 Thanks, Moses ... but you really didn't need to get me anything. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1279 You're not parting the sea wearing that! 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1280 Wait! Add this to the other commandments. On chilly evenings, you should at least wear a sweater. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1281 Here- You may get a chilly reception. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1282 Did you knit that yourself? 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1283 And finally, thou shalt put on a sweater when it's cold. 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1284 Thou shalt not get the sniffles. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1285 Stay warm - no point going down there at the moment. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1286 Thou shalt honor thy mother. Forget your father, he can't knit. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1287 Its either this or a burning bush. 1.1951 0.06266 41 33 8 0
1288 Here, take this. I'll look around for a pair of slacks for you. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1289 Honor commandment number five: Your mother tells me she wants you to wear a sweater. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1290 Here, Moses, you may need this when you go back down and meet with a very icy reception. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1291 This must be yours. It's Egyptian cotton. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1292 They already think I'm borderline nuts, but wearing that in the desert will certainly confirm it. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1293 Spread the Word to Antarctica too." 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1294 God. I know you will provide for our needs; but, what's a sweater? 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1295 But Lord, is that not a bit too chichi for a man of the cloth? 1.1951 0.09383 41 37 0 4
1296 You'll need this for the cold reception you'll be getting. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1297 Moses, this is for you. Thanks for helping me out. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1298 For the press conference. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1299 And take this so thou shalt not chill. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1300 Put this on for your Twitter picture and make sure you say it's #Organic #FairTrade #Ethical cotton. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1301 What do you mean it's a steal? 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1302 You don't have to add it, I just think it's a good idea. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1303 Because I worry about you. And no, that's not on those tablets! 1.1951 0.06266 41 33 8 0
1304 Wait, there's one more. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1305 And this will be the Holy Garb. It will be called Lost in the Desert by Marc Jacobs. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1306 You're going to be wandering for forty years. What if you wander into Switzerland? 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1307 I know I said "put off thy shoes from off thy feet," but put this on before you catch cold 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1308 It's cozy AND it has zippered compartments to hold your tablets. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1309 "Buy two tablets, get one free sweater. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1310 ALSO, YOU'LL NEED THIS. GLOBAL WARMING IS A HOAX. 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1311 You don't need all those clothes where you're going! 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1312 The desert can be cold at night. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1313 Thank you, Moses. I am sure He will grow into it. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1314 Seriously, Moses? 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1315 Baby, it's cold outside. 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1316 I got this online. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1317 Trust me. The desert gets cold at night. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1318 Trust me, you'll thank me later 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1319 And, remember, thou shalt not wear stripes with plaid. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1320 Okay, are you testing me on one of those, 'thou shalt not covet,' deals? 1.1951 0.06266 41 33 8 0
1321 I'm about to do a big purge. See if this fits. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1322 Oh, it's just a hand-me-down, but isn't it divine? 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1323 Don't you make a version with a tablet pouch? 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1324 ...And your mother told me to make sure you wear this at night 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1325 I'll see what else we have in the back. 1.1951 0.06266 41 33 8 0
1326 I know I hit the rock, but it was self defense. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1327 Because I'm your Mother and I say you'll catch a chill. 1.1951 0.06266 41 33 8 0
1328 And here. Winter is coming. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1329 40 nights can get pretty cold. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1330 No, No. I said Number 7 is Thou Shalt Not Chill. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1331 C'mon, at least try it on. It's CASHMERE! 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1332 Take this! You're likely to get a chilly reception! 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1333 I guess when you're a bad shepherd, you make woolen sweaters out of them. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1334 ...and make sure Jacob gets this. 1.1951 0.06266 41 33 8 0
1335 _MOSES, THOU SHALT NOT BE COLD!_ 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1336 How do you return a gift from God? 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1337 ...and finally, my thank you gift for delivering the commandments. I knit it myself. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1338 Enough with the bathrobe and slippers. Get dressed before you go to work. 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1339 I know when it's going to rain Moses so just stop whining! 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1340 Moses, the wife thought you would convey my message better in a cardigan ! 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1341 Take this just in case; you might get a chilly reception. 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1342 Sorry it is dull gray, Moische. I promised the one "of many colours" to Joseph. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1343 Honor your father and mother, take a sweater. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1344 Try this coat of many colors. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1345 Take two tablets and call me in the morning. And wear this. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1346 Wrap up warm and take two tablets. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1347 When the fire on the mount is extinguished, you'll need a sweater. 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1348 Behold, I thought you might like this, too 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1349 Trust me. Your reception will be a chilly one. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1350 God?? No! I am Amazon Prime. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1351 Expect a cold reception. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1352 How about this -- would you covet this? 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1353 Thou shalt not complain about a hand-me-down. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1354 And put some real shoes on, too. You'll catch your death wearing those things. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1355 Honor thy mother. She says it's chilly. 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1356 Sunday delivery now available with your Amazon Divine subscription. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1357 You may need this. It's going to be a chilly reception. 1.1951 0.06266 41 33 8 0
1358 what do you mean there are two more in Alaska ? 1.1951 0.08709 41 36 2 3
1359 Those are for your people. and this is a lttle extra for you. You should wear it in good health.. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1360 Your mother says you should wear this. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1361 "No, no, not me-the clothes make the man". 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1362 Consider this more of a request. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1363 Take it! You get one free sweater with each pair of scrolls. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1364 Could you use this? My son is getting rid of his Christmas sweaters... 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1365 And ye shall call it mohair. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1366 Wait..., that's your answer to how we'll be out here??? 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1367 No, it won't make you look fat. 1.1951 0.06266 41 33 8 0
1368 Some of that may seem a little cold. 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1369 So, those predictions about global climate change are true, then? 1.1951 0.07173 41 34 6 1
1370 And this is from the mrs. 1.1951 0.07978 41 35 4 2
1371 BTW would appreciate a shout out #Godshoodies. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1372 Here, take this. You don't want to catch a cold in the desert bubula 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1373 I see a cool reception. You'll need this. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1374 Thou shalt dress in layers. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1375 They say it will be a cold day in hell when anyone follows these, but I have faith. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1376 And here's a little something I made for you at knitting club. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1377 I am the Lord thy Clothier. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1378 There's one more: always dress in layers 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1379 Here, now don't say I never gave you anything. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1380 I told Him, I said, "You forgot the most important one, 'Thou shalt dress for the weather,'" but does He listen--here, put this on--and sandals already? Who wears sandals up here, you think this is the beach? Now call me when you get back down-- 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1381 With all due respect, I prayed for a helicopter. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1382 Yes, winter IS coming. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1383 I found this in the mud room. You want it? 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1384 I told you ordering with the tablets is the way to go. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1385 Today only get a free sweater with every two tablets ! 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1386 "Here, take this too, in case you get a chilly reaction to my new edition of "Words to Live By"! 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1387 And number eleven is more of a suggestion. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1388 And this is for the cold reception. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1389 Take the two tablets, put this on and call me in the morning if you don't feel better. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1390 It's a hand me down. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1391 You and the tablets should be prepared for a frosty reception. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1392 Thanks for bringing me something warm, these two tablets aren't helping my cold! 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1393 Before we start, this sweater shrunk in the wash and I thought you might like it. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1394 Thou shalt not tumble dry. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1395 Wear a sweater. I'm your mother. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1396 Thou shalt not ignore fashion trends 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1397 I was starting a third tablet, but then I thought, "Who doesn't like comfy, two-tone, cable-knit sweater?" 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1398 Unwritten rule: Bring a sweater. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1399 You may need this. It'll probably be a cold day in Hell before they... 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1400 Adam wants you to have this. He says it's too small for his apple. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1401 And take this--it'll start a tradition. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1402 Moses, just do it for your mother. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1403 Dear Lord I pray you have some nice wooly socks to go with that 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1404 One more thing...no more complaints about hand-me-downs! 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1405 Your Mom says “Wear a sweater if you are going to stand on mountaintops”. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1406 You'll need this schwag to sell it to the pagans. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1407 Oh God, not another one. 1.1842 0.09126 38 34 1 3
1408 A hoodie? I asked for a moral compass! 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1409 'Consider it an early Christmas present' 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1410 I forgot number 11: "Thou shalt wear ugly sweaters on my Son's birthday." 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1411 What? You thought the burning bush would keep you warm? 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1412 I wrote your birthday card on the back of the 10th. 1.1842 0.09126 38 34 1 3
1413 I'm telling you- it looks like a bathrobe! 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1414 # 11: Thou Shall Prepare for Climate Change. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1415 This is to help you with the chilling effect of that 6th commandment. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1416 You forgot "Thy Shall Not Catch Thy Death of Cold" 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1417 Wait. There's one more commandment. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1418 No, I'll keep the tablets. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1419 Mom wanted you to have this, too. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1420 Lo! Prime delivery. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1421 I honestly won't be offended if you don't like it. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1422 Take two tablets, put on a sweater, and call me in the morning! 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1423 What if she already has one just like it ? 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1424 Then take this to the Woolites. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1425 I thought you were going to leave me out in the cold. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1426 Thou shalt not wash in warm water or tumble dry. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1427 Do you have time to post this on eBay for me? It is a Large. 10% miracle, 90% wool. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1428 Moses, Trust me. My ways are higher than your ways. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1429 Relax! This is pure wool. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1430 Wear it or I'll tell your Father! 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1431 And as a promotional gift for first-time subscribers... 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1432 Uh, that's a great offer too, Amazon, but for now I'll just take these commandments, thank you. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1433 Thou shall not freeze. Trust me, it's going to drop below zero tonight. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1434 I don't need a hoodie. What are you my father? 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1435 That robe is so yesterday. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1436 P.S. Thou shalt not catch his death of cold. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1437 Last but not least, happy birthday. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1438 I KNOW YOU COVET THIS! 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1439 Thous shalt not bear fleece witness against thy neighbor. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1440 I have to take this back because you coveted it but who wears a sweater in the desert? 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1441 And this is a "hoodie". It will be more popular than those commandments. 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1442 They'll never believe you if you're shivering. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1443 But if you don't wear this now, it'll take another 2600 years to catch on! 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1444 Here. After 40 days and 40 nights, you're starting to get a little ripe. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1445 Up next is this luxurious item, also two-for-one... 1.1842 0.06373 38 31 7 0
1446 OMG, your tablet froze up on me. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1447 Is this the Hand-me-down of God? 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1448 Moses, you'll need this for the chilly reception. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1449 I'm giving this back because of the whole no stealing thing, but seriously it isn't your look 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1450 Take two tablets and I'll coat you in the morning. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1451 Take two tablets, stay warm ... and drink plenty of liquids. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1452 Linen tunics are so Old Testament. 1.1842 0.08311 38 33 3 2
1453 Creation in seven days but this sweater took Me forever! 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1454 Thou shalt not be tempted by hip turtlenecks. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1455 And if you break one, thou shalt wear this uncomfortable turtleneck for forty days and forty nights. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1456 Get rid of those silly tablets. This is from Lands End and will last forever. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1457 Put those tablets down carefully before you try this on. I'm not giving you a third set. 1.1842 0.07405 38 32 5 1
1458 A divine hand-me-down. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1459 Does turning in my work uniform mean what I think it does? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1460 Breaking news. Hell hath frozen over. Stay warm. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1461 God tempts Moses to add an 11th Commandment: "Thou shalt be grateful for hand-me-downs". 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1462 Two iPads, and now you’ve won a hoodie on eBay 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1463 One more commandment - no turtlenecks! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1464 Thou shalt wear thy sweater...because I said so! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1465 You're going to need this, too. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1466 Could you also return this to the shepherd boy on your way down? 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1467 Are you trying to tell me something? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1468 Mom, I'm not cold. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1469 A little something extra for the grandchildren. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1470 Thou shalt not catch a chill. It's #11 but it didn't fit! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1471 The tablets I can handle, but a hand-knit sweater is going to be hard to explain, Ma'am. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1472 It isn't much... just, my way of saying thanks you for everything. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1473 Tell Delilah to cover up. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1474 This one is more of a 'thou shalt knit'. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1475 That's funny you looked like an XLG from here 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1476 Wow, Amazon has really stepped up their game. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1477 Thanks, Lord, for noticing my shivering, but I'm sure I'll be ok once I take these two tablets to reduce the fever... 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1478 Don't worry. I'll part the sea so it doesn't shrink. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1479 Trust me. The hoodie look screams leadership. It will be perfect for your presentation. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1480 Yes, I"m sure no one needs it up here. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1481 But what happened to Joseph?? 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1482 Thou shalt not sweat the details. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1483 when i prayed about Trump following at least one of these commandments, is this your subtle way of implying "when hell freezes over"? 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1484 And while you're at it, find out who this belongs to. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1485 Great job, Moses. Here's a little something for those cold nights in the Promised Land. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1486 Update thy wardrobe. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1487 Better put this on, because it'll be a cold day in hell before anybody obeys all of those! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1488 God, thou shalt not tempt me with designer labels. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1489 Be ready for a cool reception. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1490 This one's just a suggestion... 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1491 Follow my rules and be rewarded with Global Cooling. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1492 If Mr. Rogers wrote the 10 commandments 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1493 I don't want to be a noodge, but one last one: always bring a sweater in case it gets chilly. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1494 Now that you have climbed Sinai, I want you to go to the South Pole. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1495 Take this, you're gonna get a chilly reception! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1496 'And thou shalt wear no other hoodie but this.' 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1497 Yes! You WILL wear it! Remember how sick you got after getting your feet wet in the Red Sea!? 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1498 Apparently I have too many things in the cloud. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1499 Thanks, Moses! You didn't have to get me something too! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1500 Oh Yeah….You shall wear a parka on mountain hikes. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1501 Autumn in Sinai gets a bit nippy 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1502 And the eleventh commandment: always bring a sweater. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1503 It's for Fred Rogers. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1504 Thou shall not put cashmere in the dryer 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1505 You need more followers. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1506 Here, take this too. It's very comfy, but honestly - when am I gonna wear it? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1507 And put on this sweater before you catch your death. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1508 11. Thou shalt not leave home without a sweater. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1509 Thou shalt not freeze your butt off. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1510 Honor your father AND mother, who worries it’s a little chilly on this mountain. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1511 You don't have to write this one down, but remember to wear layers. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1512 OH MY GOD! My mother sent that, didn't she! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1513 Thou shalt dry clean only. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1514 With every 10 Commandments you get a free hoodie sweater! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1515 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's hoodie. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1516 Is that you, Amazon? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1517 I don't have room for #11. It's not my size anyway. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1518 Okay, I'll add number 11; "Though shall dress warmly." 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1519 You may get a chilly reception. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1520 A little something from the wife, to keep you comfortable over the next 40 years. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1521 It's: Thou shalt cover thy neighbours wife. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1522 Disobey and you won't need this in the afterlife. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1523 If you catch cold you're no good to anyone. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1524 You may get a frosty reception 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1525 You're "Hebrew," not "He-brrr." 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1526 And the 11th commandment is; 'Thou shall not wash the white & colored textiles together, in warm water, for the dyes will fade.' 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1527 Thou shalt not wear synthetic fabrics. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1528 Just in case the reaction is chilly. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1529 Please, its a cold walk back down Mt Sinai. Would it kill you to wear a sweater? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1530 Wear this, you'll get a cold reception when you get down the mountain. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1531 Put it on, for the reception may be quite cold. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1532 The robe is soooo 12th century BCE. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1533 Woah, I forgot the one about not enslaving people. Give the tablets back, and I'll give you this sweater. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1534 Take a couple of tablets and keep warm. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1535 Thou shall not hipster 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1536 Moses, here's your Amazon purchase. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1537 Another successful same-day delivery courtesy of Deus Fed Ex Machina. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1538 Here... it could be cold down there. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1539 Your Mom called me. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1540 Perfect for cool desert nights and guaranteed for 40 years. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1541 Oh , and put this on . It's chilly up here. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1542 ?If you won't wear socks, you could at least put on a sweater. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1543 Here...You'll look wiser wearing this. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1544 #11 thou shall dress appropriately for the weather 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1545 Eleven: Thou shalt knit. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1546 Do you have my size in black? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1547 It's a little game I amuse myself with called Where's Moses? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1548 Take the two tablets, put on this sweater and call me in the morning if you're not a better person. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1549 Moses, here's something to keep you warm while I dictate the remaining 603 commandments. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1550 Ten Commandments...One Suggestion. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1551 But I only STRONGLY RECOMMEND you wear this... 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1552 ...and positively no plaid this fall season! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1553 One more thing, the desert is a bit chilly in the evening. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1554 Thou shalt not get a sickness. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1555 And don't forget your vegetables! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1556 Since I haven't created Jeff Bezos yet. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1557 Oh, and number eleven, Be Prepared. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1558 Here. You're going to get a chilly reception down below. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1559 Proof God is a Woman. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1560 Deus ex helicopter parente. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1561 I'm not commanding you but you're gonna want it later 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1562 Yes, it's cold up here. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1563 Thou shall not wear hoodies with dress pants. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1564 But I already ordered it from Amazon 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1565 Oh, and thou also shall not wear that cloak with that tunic. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1566 Do you have anything in a medium 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1567 I left one out. 'Thou shall not freeze thy ass off.' 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1568 There may be a sudden change in the weather. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1569 Well, if it gets a little warm on your way down, then you can take it off. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1570 It's the thought that counts 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1571 And the 11th one, " You shall not return online items after thirty days." 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1572 #%~& autocorrect! That last one should be Thou shalt knit covers. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1573 Of course I knew your size! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1574 Here's your tablet order. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1575 Moishe honey, the desert gets cold at night. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1576 Oh, and your mother said to put this on. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1577 You're late. AND I pay for Prime. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1578 The tablets don't take effect for a while, so you'll need to keep warm 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1579 I didn't particularly covet this, but you might. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1580 OK, and on the third tablet, hashtag "#NewCasualMenswearLine." 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1581 Thine people shall do particularly well in the schmatte trade. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1582 Take it! My mother wants you should be warm. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1583 Here. We can't have you catching cold. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1584 Here's a hoodie in case they don't agree. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1585 I hope this isn't a commandment because I'm allergic to wool. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1586 Sorry, here is your sheep back. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1587 Oh thank God, I was hoping for a hoodie. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1588 This no longer fits me, would you like it? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1589 Try wrapping them in this sweater, less likely to break. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1590 Some day Amazon will deliver this way. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1591 Not now can't you see my hands are full! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1592 THOU shalt not steal...but look what I swiped! 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1593 Your mother made this for you. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1594 I guess you're not kidding when you say my chances to sell these are as likely as a cold day in Hell. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1595 ... and this is how "Take a sweater it's cold outside" became the 11th commandment 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1596 Take this sweater for your cold and then there is no need to take the tablets. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1597 Here's your Lands' End order. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1598 Take this sweater and shove it directly up your ass. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1599 And finally, thou shalt not be chilly 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1600 This is for the cold reception you’ll be getting. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1601 Sure I like your new drone delivery service! Can we try it out next with these heavy tablets? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1602 Bubbe was worried you might catch a cold. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1603 Your grandmother just wanted me to give it to you. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1604 Before eclipse glasses there were deity sweaters. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1605 Use this until we invent a tablet case 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1606 Nice. I'm still doing the ice age though. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1607 - What sayest thou prophet? - My lord! That look is sooo last deluge. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1608 Just in case you get a chilly reception... 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1609 Put this on, winds up here will kill you. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1610 From the hands of L.L. Bean 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1611 Thou shalt not freeze thine arce off on this mount. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1612 Next time you're not wandering in the desert. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1613 Remember the line on honoring your father AND mother? 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1614 Thou art going to be on a mountain top for 40 days and 40 nights, and you thought a robe and sandals were going to cut it? 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1615 Your mother commands you to go forth with your sweater. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1616 Oh, and you also get a gift from Mother Earth. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1617 Take this, it's cold up here. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1618 ... and the 11th Commandment is a required annual "Ugly Sweater Contest. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1619 Jeff Bezos said you have prime. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1620 My Wife made this for you. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1621 Oh, hum, yes!! Tell Mrs. God I love it! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1622 Make this number eleven. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1623 Listen to your mother, it couldn't hurt. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1624 Thou shalt not catch thy death of cold. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1625 A cold day in hell is a possibility! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1626 Thou shalt not soak in hot water. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1627 Oh, one more, "Thou shalt not get a chill." 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1628 Now, now . . . your Heavenly Mother knows best. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1629 And then the Lord said unto Moses: "Thou shalt not dress unfashionably while carrying the commandments." 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1630 You think the robe is too casual? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1631 The mothers sent you this in appreciation. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1632 Your mother prayed, she's worried you'll catch cold up here. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1633 You've given me so many blessings, Lord, but could I trouble You for some khakis as well? 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1634 Since when is there a law against dressing sensibly? 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1635 It's going to get nippy. You'll need that sweater your aunt made for you more than a bunch of rules. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1636 And eleven, don't wear a hoodie. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1637 It's a cold road to righteousness. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1638 Take it...I know you're too busy to shop for your daughter's birthday. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1639 . . . and with each set of tablets you get a free gift. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1640 "Costumes" says this will make your face look more oval, more authoritative for the cameras 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1641 Ok fine, but it does say thou shalt not wear burkenstocks. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1642 Take the sweater, God knows it can get cold down there. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1643 Hey Mo, got this on Amazon. I think it's you. 1.1667 0.09344 36 33 0 3
1644 Oh, I forgot to mention...on the Seventh Day, I knit. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1645 God's Jewish mother. 1.1667 0.09344 36 33 0 3
1646 I'll trade you . 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1647 Does this make my butt look big? 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1648 But God, stripes were so B.C. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1649 A long-sleeved hoodie - we're in the desert! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1650 Sweater in the hand of an angry God. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1651 You've heard from the Father, now let's hear from the Mother. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1652 It can get chilly in the wilderness. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1653 "Moses, don't forget, the cold parts of the world get the Commandments too. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1654 Put this on - I'll get a fire going. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1655 Love the color, but could you see if it comes in a 8-L ? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1656 Take this too, just in case you need to scare the crap out of them. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1657 The Eleventh Commandment: "Always dress warm," Moishie. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1658 Thank you, Dear Lord, but I actually requested a backpack! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1659 "On second thought, you guys can't handle the truth, give me those back and take this"! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1660 I didn't free you from Egypt so you could freeze in the desert. Take this sweater. It gets cold at night. Are you getting enough to eat? 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1661 Don't try to change the subject. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1662 It's "Made in America". Trust me! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1663 There's supposed to be reindeer on this but you get the gist. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1664 Always a handout; never a hand up! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1665 Thou shall not wear that robe after Labor Day. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1666 And honor thy grandmother, too. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1667 I know, I know, #11, remember my sweater, even if it is holey. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1668 So, Al was right afterall? 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1669 Now don't forget, thou shalt not wear horizontal stripes if though should get fat. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1670 My mother said you should put this on 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1671 Jordan, Oregon?! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1672 Number 11: No White After Labor Day. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1673 Don't forget the one about Labor Day. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1674 See if you can exchange it for a larger size. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1675 Anticipate a chilly reception to the one forbidding adultery. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1676 Could I have peace instead? 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1677 Buying a heavily discounted item is not stealing. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1678 God I asked for a hand getting down , not a hand me down. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1679 Oh, and Mrs. God adds... 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1680 Moses' Eleventh Commandment 11. You Shall Change Your Garment Periodically 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1681 And here's a little something I picked up at the Goodwill. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1682 Each commandment broken is punishable by this itchy sweater. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1683 It was buy two get one free 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1684 What, did you really think I wanted all the lamb chops? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1685 Thou shalt not wear holiday sweaters 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1686 Oh Lord, please let me sell one thing at a time. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1687 The 11th and 12th Commandments are: Wash in Cold Water Only and Do Not Spin Dry. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1688 It's called regifting. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1689 It comes with a forty-years-in-the-wilderness-or-your-money-back guarantee! 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1690 Well, those are important and we'll get to them, but first I want you to learn to make these robes. We'll call our company Lord and Tailor and sell them to the Children of Israel. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1691 Thou shalt wear ugly Christmas sweaters. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1692 You know I love your look - but the focus group said we needed to soften things up just a bit. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1693 You should have listened to your mother. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1694 You need to war this; we've signed a sponsorship deal. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1695 You mean I'm not even warm? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1696 Ivanka asked if you would model this. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1697 Take it from me it's cold at the top 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1698 THAT'S what I get for the Egypt thing? Christ! 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1699 It comes with a 40 year warranty. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1700 She made this for you. Wear it. You don't want to anger her; trust me. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1701 Egyptian cotton, extra large, 7 shekels. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1702 Use this as your warm-up act. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1703 Don't make me get your father... 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1704 You may get a chilly reception so put this on. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1705 Wear this; you might get a cold reception. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1706 Mom, I told you I don't need a sweater! 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1707 A sweater would be nice but, how about a ladder instead. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1708 No, it's not exactly a commandment, but you should always take it. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1709 Wear this, you may get a chilly reception 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1710 You might need to get their attention first. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1711 And after delivery, I recommend heading north for a while. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1712 Thou hast now seen the North Face of God. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1713 While you are selling them on the commandments, can you sell them on my latest product line? 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1714 And thou shalt not go outside into the cold without your sweater. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1715 Thou shalt not commit a Glamour Don't. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1716 Thou shalt wear layers. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1717 I don't care if you're Moses with the Ten Commandments, you'll need a warm sweater out there. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1718 Mom sent this down. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1719 In a lapse of foresight, God stitched the eleventh commandment into a sweater. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1720 Thou shalt...layer up in winter? Why don't we start with 10 and see how we get on? 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1721 Thou shalt wear a hoodie. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1722 Oh, and we'd like you to descend in something from the new fall collection. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1723 I'll trade you this sweater for those two stones and something behind the curtain 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1724 Where's Waldo? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1725 Moses uses his new tablet to order ugly sweater from digital marketing cloud. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1726 And also, stop wearing robes... 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1727 Well, if you don't like it I'm not commanding you to wear it! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1728 Again: Just put down the damn tablets and put your parka on! 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1729 Father, Mother, whatever; just put this on before you catch your death in this breeze. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1730 We knitted it ourselves. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1731 If you don't break any of the 10 Commandments, then you win a free sweater! 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1732 If they obey those tablets, it's going to be a really cold day. So, you might need this. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1733 No. This part is from Amazon Prime. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1734 Believe me, you'll need it. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1735 The hand of god doesn't listen. I said I'm hot. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1736 And lo, to keep His children from catching cold, God bestowed on them the Parka of the Covenant. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1737 Thou shalt not wander in the desert without your jacket. 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1738 Oh and by the way, did somebody leave this behind in Baal Zephon? 1.1667 0.07454 36 31 4 1
1739 No, it's not a commandment, just a really big favor. 1.1667 0.06299 36 30 6 0
1740 I call it a 'hoodie', see if it catches on as 'wilderness wear'. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1741 I prayed for warmth, not an abominable fashion statement. 1.1667 0.08452 36 32 2 2
1742 I thought you might be a little chilly, bubele. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1743 Number 11: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's hoodie 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1744 Be prepared for a chilly reception on that adultery issue. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1745 I heard Winter is coming. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1746 You forgot about the Ice Age, Moses... 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1747 If you check the tag, it will say hand knitted with love by God ! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1748 You'll thank me later... 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1749 No more bushes? How about a match? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1750 I said code, not coat. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1751 Don't expect a warm reception. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1752 And you won't be needing this sayeth Al Gore 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1753 So you live in the desert. Can't desert people be stylish sometimes? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1754 That's so sweet. I got you a little something too. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1755 I told you it would be a cold day in hell... 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1756 You may think you know it all, but, Bubbeleh, it gets cold at night, especially in the desert. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1757 ...and you'll need this when Hell freezes over. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1758 Amazon now offers God instant delivery service for Tablets. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1759 I said I'm getting OLD waiting up here so long. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1760 Mom, can't you see I'am working? 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1761 Don't forget, thou shalt not let the naked go unclothed in the colder climes. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1762 Gimme that! Now no more covering thy neighbor's wife! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1763 They'll take you more seriously without the turtleneck. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1764 If God is cold, everyone wears a sweater 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1765 Whaddya think you are, a burning bush? Put it on. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1766 Yes, that will look great on Aaron. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1767 Satan got the pants. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1768 Because your mother said so! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1769 Take two tablets, bundle up and you'll feel better. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1770 Thou shalt put a sweater on! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1771 It's all about being camera-friendly. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1772 Your mother's cold - put on a sweater 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1773 When you have their attention, plug my latest creation. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1774 Yes Ivanka, I will also be sure to mention the new Fall Collection. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1775 Here's your miracle.....put it on and you'll stop shivering....don't drop the tablets! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1776 I had heard that the shepherd could not give his wool away in this darn heat. People seem to prefer man-made materials in the desert. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1777 I said, 'since 11 cannot fit...' Lord, not 'size 11 cable knit.' 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1778 It didn't fit. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1779 I'm tired of the burning. I might try the freezing. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1780 I said: "Thou shalt not covet with goat, not cover with coat!" 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1781 God forbid you should catch cold up here! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1782 I'm a big boy now, Mom. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1783 I'm expecting a cold reception for you. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1784 Trade you 5 commandments for a coat! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1785 The Handicraft of God 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1786 Covet or cover? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1787 No thanks, I'm still schvitzing from that burning bush. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1788 It call it Intelligent Design. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1789 Here, robes are so passé these days. Go forth with a more de rigueur hoodie. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1790 Humor me Moses. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1791 The Lambswool of God 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1792 ...but most importantly, thou shalt not wear polyester in vain. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1793 Just in case it DOES freeze over... 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1794 The 11th Commandment: Never leave the house without a sweater (you can always take it off if it gets too warm). 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1795 The invoice says large. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1796 get out of that shmata and put this on 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1797 I know Christmas hasn't been invented yet, but here you go...it's cashmere. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1798 This is for the cold day in Hell when thou doth not break those commandments. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1799 No, I'm not Joseph. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1800 Whoa, you deliver for Amazon too? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1801 THOU SHALT NOT WEAR THIS BARE-LEGGED WITH SANDALS 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1802 ....and, Thou shalt not wear a turtleneck. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1803 I said I was too old, not too cold...... 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1804 Winter cometh 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1805 If you're not going to wear a pair of decent shoes at this altitude, the least you could do is put on this sweater! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1806 If your mother knit it, you must wear it. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1807 Thou shall take this! I knit it myself, but big-shot Noah wouldn't take it and caught his death of cold in all that rain. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1808 Moses...leader of the Ant-size Semites, now fully understood their place on earth. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1809 But I already have a holey sweater. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1810 Also, thou shall not chill. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1811 The 11th commandment is "Wear a sweater at this altitude or you'll catch your death". 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1812 I got this online. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1813 ...because you'll probably get a chilly reception. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1814 The original "hand-me-down." 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1815 Oh, Mom! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1816 The missing third tablet: five commandments to avoid fashion faux pas. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1817 I said take two tablets and stay warm, works for everything. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1818 Here, this will cover everything! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1819 You'll need this little sweater, for now is the winter of our discontent. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1820 ... but watch them covet this. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1821 It's a suggestion. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1822 Is that your way of telling me to expect a chilly reception? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1823 Here, I've outgrown this, as well. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1824 It gets cold in the desert, you'll need this. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1825 This is weird. I'm not even chilly. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1826 And thou shalt wear a sweater when thy mother is cold. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1827 What do you mean it's going to rain for forty days and forty nights ? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1828 im in the desert ,yo 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1829 Oh, and give this to Jason for me. Will you? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1830 You can have this fabulous hoodie, but only if you erase the 11th commandment, ya know, the one about hating gays... 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1831 Ye shall see if this catches on 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1832 Honor your father and your mother! 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1833 Put this striped sweater on so you'll be easy to find if you get lost. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1834 But I don't look good in stripes! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1835 Thou shall not freeze in unholy places. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1836 Amazon Prime is getting really fast. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1837 Thou shalt be stylin'. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1838 So, at last, you remembered where I live...here, you might need a sweater...are you hungry, you look thin...have you eaten? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1839 Oh, my God, you shall not shiver. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1840 THOU SHALT NOT WEAR THIS TO THE SYNAGOGUE --- A HOODIE IS NOT A YARMULKE! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1841 Amazon Prime continues to expand and improve delivery options. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1842 Wear this. It's chilly. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1843 Working holiday. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1844 Hipsters are . . . scratch, that. We'll just stick with the ten we've got. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1845 What? You didn't think you would need a sweater up here? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1846 Because it may get chilly when they read the bit about adultery. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1847 Enjoy it while you can. By 2020, people won't even know what a sweater is. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1848 You will need this for the reception you're going to get! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1849 Number 11, from you know, Mother Mary 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1850 Ok, you can present those at the meeting, and here's a sweater,too. It's Casual Friday. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1851 Listen to your mother; wear a sweater! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1852 If you catch a cold, the tablets won't be enough. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1853 Ps. XI Don't catch a cold. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1854 If you're still trying to score with your neighbor's wife, give her one of these. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1855 What about the "many colors"? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1856 Thou shalt avoid horizontal stripes, particularly in knitwear. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1857 Here. I know about coveting your neighbor's sweater. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1858 Thou shalt not buy retail. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1859 Belive me, its cold out there! 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1860 And above all, ALWAYS bring a sweater. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1861 #11: Thou shalt not shiver. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1862 Those, and one request. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1863 I'm sorry you have a cold. I recommend you wear this jacket to stay warm, take two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1864 11. Thou shalt not leave the house without a sweater. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1865 It shrinks to size when exposed to sea water. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1866 Here...in case you get the cold shoulder. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1867 If she's wearing less than this and your eyes are on her, it's adultery. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1868 I said I was too OLD for this! 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1869 11. Winter is coming. No need to write that down. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1870 I guess Amazon really does own everything. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1871 You're going to live forever, right? Here's a sweater for the chills you're going to get in the future, when some of these words are taken literally. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1872 You may be in for a chilly reception 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1873 Did you order from Amazon Prime? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1874 Mom says to put your sweater on.. It's cold down there. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1875 I understand. Thou shalt not manufacture in China 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1876 I hopeth I got the size right. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1877 Uh,..... Do you have free return shipping? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1878 The "do not covet" part may lead to a chilly reception. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1879 Is this yours? Someone left it up here. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1880 You forgot number 11: Thou shalt not go out without a sweater. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1881 You won't need this, it's hot where your going. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1882 No thanks. I'm still toasty from the burning bush. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1883 Won't need that, thanks. Global warming, you know! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1884 Can't we just make 'Don't forget your sweater' the unofficial Eleventh Commandment? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1885 #11: "Thou shalt not touch the thermostat" 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1886 Trust me, it can get cold at night in the desert. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1887 The King of the Amazon needs you to sign for this on your tablet. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1888 One more thing: I know it's the desert, but it can get pretty cold at night for forty years, so . . . 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1889 ... and bundle up! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1890 Just in case. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1891 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife; but her sweater will help with the mountain chill. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1892 Desert schmesert. It still gets cold at night. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1893 Thou shalt not place your sweater in a dryer! 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1894 I'll be back with a sleeping bag. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1895 Checkmate 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1896 In case you get a chilly reception. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1897 Hold this thread as I walk away. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1898 Does it breathe when wet? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1899 Also... Thou shalt not be chilly and forget thy hoodie. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1900 Our heavenly All Weather One-Color-Fits-All Turtlenecks are 20% off this weekend 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1901 Do we really need another commandment just for thank you notes? 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1902 You're gonna need a bigger coat. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1903 And finally, Thou Shalt Listen To Thy Mother When She Says It Gets Cold At Night. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1904 Here, the Red Sea gets windy this time of year. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1905 You're going to need a higher mountain. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1906 I don't care what you think... it's really cold up here... 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1907 You heard me wrong. I said "Come and knit." 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1908 You're going to need this when hell freezes over. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1909 You are the J. Crew, after all. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1910 Just put it on; your mother is cold. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1911 If the plan doesn't work out you'll need to keep extra warm. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1912 This is for Aaron. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1913 Here, it couldn't hurt. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1914 Now I'll just have another phenomenon to explain. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1915 Trust me. The desert gets cold at night. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1916 What do you mean, it gets cold in the desert at night? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1917 Stray, and you shall wear your mother-in-law's gift. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1918 And while I'm nagging, put a sweater on already! You're on top of a mountain, for God's sake! 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1919 Do you have something more breathable? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1920 Global cooling? wtf 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1921 The Ice Age cometh. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1922 Put this on. You can expect a chilly reception down there. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1923 Though shall not pill. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1924 Thou shalt be cozy. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1925 Hmm...How about we replace "Thou shalt not scratch thyself" with "Thou shalt not covet"? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1926 You admired it at that little boutique in Sharm El-Sheikh. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1927 Trust Me 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1928 Jeff Bezos, "In the beginning." 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1929 And the Jewish mother commanded: TAKE A SWEATER! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1930 Could you also return this to the store? It shrank after only one washing. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1931 Not until Hell freezes over 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1932 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's fleece. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1933 My mother knitted it. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1934 It gets cold at night. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1935 Moses, of course I'm sure it's going to be chilly tonight. I create the weather. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1936 This one's just a suggestion, Moses: your mother worries. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1937 Thou shalt leave the thermostat alone and put on a dang sweater! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1938 If I know anything about mankind, you can expect a cold reception. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1939 I may have misread the burning bush. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1940 And one commandment from your mother.... 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1941 Moses, you know the unwritten rules. When God gets cold, you have to put on a jacket. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1942 Just put a little alligator on it. Trust me. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1943 Moteleh, I have one more to add: take a sweater. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1944 It'll be a cold day in hell. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1945 Here are the Ten Commandments of Style--just kidding. What, you didn't think I had a sense of humor? Who do you think created humor? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1946 The unspoken 11th Commandment: "Honor thy Aunt - giver of ugly sweaters" 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1947 This might look cute on you! 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1948 Thanks Mo'she this sweater will keep you comfy. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1949 And if they break any of my commandments, they shall wear this itchy sweater as punishment 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1950 It's free with your Prime order of ten commandments. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1951 I told you God was a Jewish mother. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1952 How do expect everyone to follow 10 Commandments when you broke your Mom's Golden Rule and forgot your sweater? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1953 Thou shall not ignore your mother when she says, "Better take your sweater." 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1954 It's not Technicolor, but it will have to do. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1955 Feel free to substitute: Thou shalt wear thine aunt's darned sweater. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1956 I picked it up on the 8th day. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1957 Take it! No exodus will be led if you have a cold. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1958 thou shalt not be vain 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1959 I'm cold. Put on a sweater. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1960 Moishe, put this on or you'll catch your death. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1961 And no swimming for at least 30 minutes after you've eaten. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1962 Take it! That's an order! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1963 Of course it will shrink! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1964 The greatest of leaders also received help. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1965 Be Prepared for the cold shoulder 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1966 It looks like it won't be long now. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1967 The desert is surprisingly cold at night, you'll need this. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1968 Your mother prayed that thou shalt not catch a cold. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1969 Your grandmother was insulted that you did not take this. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1970 My mother "created" this for you. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1971 Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not wear an ugly Christmas sweater! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1972 It's asbestos. And the tablets are clay. You'll figure it out. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1973 I am the Lord they God, now wear your sweater! 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1974 I made this one so it won't scratch. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1975 It's from Adam and Eve's latest fall collection. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1976 ...and this came for you from Amazon. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1977 Women always steal your hoodies. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1978 Moses!!!! Take two tablets, put this sweater on and call me in the morning. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1979 I will not need this my Lord. Not with the global warming that is coming. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1980 Lord, make me an instrument of your fleece. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1981 Number 11 thou shall not covert global warming. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1982 With respect, I think "Dress in Layers" is more along the lines of advice. . . 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1983 Thou shalt dress appropriately. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1984 Not yet, Lord. Christmas gifts come much later. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1985 It is mighty cold and lonely at the top. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1986 Number 10: “Thou shall not coat your neighbor’s wife.” 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1987 I might have to write about this a bit differently 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1988 What's going to freeze over? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1989 11. No robes between ten and seven o'clock. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1990 Here, I got it on clearance, it's an Ivanka Trump! 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1991 Thank you for doing me this favor and here is a little something for you. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1992 I think eleven is rather a lot to ask. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1993 You're going to get a chilly reception, take this too. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1994 Number 11: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's hoodie 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1995 Thou shalt not freeze 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
1996 Here put this on. I'll go see if I can find you some shoes. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
1997 Take the two tablets and call me in the morning. Oh, and to be on the safe side, wear a sweater to bed. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1998 Oh, and thou shalt not make your mother cold just looking at you. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
1999 I'll give you two stone tablets for it and not a pebble more. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2000 On a cold night in the desert, Manna isn't enough. Have a hoodie. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2001 If you're all knowing, and can tell when I'm lying, why would you ask if I like the sweater you knitted for me. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
2002 And here's a little something for Zipporah 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2003 I've also taken up knitting. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2004 I want to introduce you to the Holy Ghost. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2005 You wouldn't pull the wool over my eyes, would you? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2006 Give this to the first person who says, 'It'll be a cold day in hell when I obey the Commandments'. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2007 Here, take this, thou shalt be cold if you wander around the Mount. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2008 And on the Monday following the seventh day of creation God created a new look. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2009 At least have some style. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2010 Before you go, would you try this on? I'm knitting it for a friend about your size. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2011 Thou shalt not forget to bundle up in the cold, for lo, he who breaks this commandment will catch his death out there. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2012 You're going to get a chilly reception. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2013 I was going for more of a Hemingway look 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2014 With every ten commandments you purchase, you receive one angora sweater. Thanks but, what is angora? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2015 This is what I foresee for those Orthodox. Now beaver hats! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2016 Thou shalt prep for the grunge era. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2017 Nice to meet you Amazon, I'm Moses. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2018 I’ll just take the two tablets and call you in the morning. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2019 Don't be such a big shot, take a sweater. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2020 Please wear this so I can quit burning shrubs. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2021 Lose the bathrobe, Moses, you look ridiculous. No one will believe you dressed like that. Here. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2022 Wake me when he gets back from Mar-a-Lago. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2023 Take this sweater bubbeleh. The cold in the dessert at night, you don't need to get sick on your walk. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
2024 #11-Thou shalt include a gift receipt. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2025 Here ya go, Mosie - yer gonna need this! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2026 The 11th commandment. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2027 Oh, right, you're the tablet guy, not the flood guy. My bad. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2028 '' Isaid ten uvem not denim''' 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2029 And though shalt dry clean only. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2030 Try my fruit of the loom pullover 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
2031 I climb Mt. Sinai and all I get is this lousy sweater? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2032 No, no, no. I'm fine. The bush is warm enough. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2033 Though shall not covet, but being cozy is ok. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2034 Thou shalt cover up because it gets chilly at night in the desert 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2035 What? With all the hail, locusts, and cattle disease, at least you'll keep warm. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2036 Sometimes I just get a wild hair, M, and like to mess with the weather. You know, God being God, and all that. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2037 All I said was, God I'm freezing my ass off up here. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2038 11. Thou Shall Not Chill 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2039 No, I didn't command you to pull over the wool from someone's eyes 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
2040 Leather? Who wears LEATHER? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2041 The Red Sea gets chilly at night. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2042 Take it. In a few thousand years, everyone will be doing it. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2043 Trust me, you may be in for a chilly reception! 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2044 I'll take a medium 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2045 Take two tablets and keep warm. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2046 Nothing is a solid color? Stripes make me look fat. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2047 But you'll be a leader in fashion, too. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2048 Don't forget the chicken soup! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2049 It gets chilly at night. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2050 And, last but not least, you get you very own Technicolor dream coat. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2051 Those tablets are pretty cold up here, wear this. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2052 I asked "How am I going to pull this one over," not for a "pull-over." 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2053 I made it from your lambs wool. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2054 Moses, take this because i'll be sending some cold weather your way and your one of my favorites. You know that, right? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2055 Here, you might need this when you go down. It's Kevlar. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2056 But if it doesn't fit, can I return it? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2057 I'm leading the people out of Egypt, not Norway! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2058 The desert is cold at night 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2059 You might get a chilly reception on that "covet your neighbor's wife" Commandment. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2060 No, Moses, it only comes in this color. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
2061 Mom? Already it's too hot by the burning bush. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
2062 Don't sweat the small stuff! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2063 Don't tell me you once wore that. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2064 You better take this; nights can get cold in the desert. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2065 wear this,it is your eleventh commandment.the climate change is coming. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2066 How do I tell him that I don't do stripes? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2067 Put this on and affect an Irish accent for a few weeks until things calm down. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
2068 Yes Moses, it is cold at the top 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2069 The immaculate hand-me-down sweater. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2070 Next time I will pray for the powerball... 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2071 You shall not buy clothes for your Lord online 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2072 #11 Thou shalt dress warmly 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2073 So, you don't just engrave? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2074 I'm sorry, but Amazon doesn't take tablets. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2075 Because it's cold in the desert at night. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2076 It's chilly at the Red Sea. Listen to your mother and take a little sweater, bubeleh. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2077 Put on something warm, take two tablets and contact me in the morning. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2078 God, a hand knit? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2079 Amazon competes with You Know Who. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2080 Spread the word! The Gap is now offering free hand-delivery to select outcrop locations. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2081 Hold on one sec ... Miriam made this for your brother Aaron but it's too small. Can you try it on? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2082 and the 11th is to never wear a hoodie, but we can hold that one back for 2000 years 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2083 Your mother is here and worried you'll catch your death of cold. She insists I deliver unto you this sweater she knitted. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2084 To think I avoided the swing shift all these years 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2085 Your Amazon Prime order is in. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2086 Thanks. You must have noticed my hard nipples. 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
2087 Only one jacket for my wardrobe? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2088 WHERE DOES IT SAY "THOU SHALT NOT FREEZE"? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2089 Seriously mom, I'm working. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2090 Number eleven: never leave home without a light sweater, just in case. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2091 Knitting. Another Gift from God. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2092 So G-d really is a 'She'. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2093 No. 11: Take good care of yourself, you belong to me. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2094 "Read the fine print on the back about global warming"! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2095 Isn't the burning bush enough? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2096 At Amazon, your order is our command! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2097 I'm still workshopping "consequences;" it's come down to either a summer season in this or eternal fire. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2098 Take two tablets once a day for peak performance, while wearing this warm up gear. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2099 While we're at it, your mother says it's cold, take a sweater. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2100 You got it wrong. This is Godess speaking and here is a sweater so you don't catch a cold. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2101 I'm not cold. Why do *I* have to wear a sweater? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2102 Yes I'm certain it's your size. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2103 Moses: If its not your size, you can exchange it. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2104 No, I don't covet that coat -- why do you keep saying that? 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2105 ...And all I get it this lousy shirt? 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2106 But that looks like it's woven from two different kinds of material, and Lev 19:19 clearly states that's a sin! 1.1515 0.08835 33 30 1 2
2107 Take two tablets, call me in the morning. You can get dressed now. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2108 You're in for a cold welcome 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2109 This is for leaving you out in the cold 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2110 It's drafty - you shouldn't catch a cold! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2111 You forgot your hoodie, Dude. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2112 Yes thou shalt. And put on some socks. 1.1515 0.06338 33 28 5 0
2113 Your mother felt a draft and didn't want you to catch cold. 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2114 I did all this for a sweater?! 1.1515 0.07689 33 29 3 1
2115 BELIEVE ME, YOU'RE GONNA NEED SOMETHING WARMER. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2116 Just in case they fly your bossy ass right out of the desert. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2117 It's Our fall special. It comes with any order of 10 commandments or more. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2118 The eleventh commandment is to always wear a sweater when it's cold! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2119 But also tell them how generous I am. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2120 Here, take this. You may get a chilly reception. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2121 Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's hoodie. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2122 For thy Mount Sinai ski trips. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2123 Hey God, don't mind me but I think your wee fella might have slipped out and fallen to his death there. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2124 XI. Thou shalt not leave thy clothes in a heap on the bedroom floor. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2125 Add one more: thou shall not get through the gates wearing a turtleneck. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2126 When hell freezes over. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2127 Nothing beats a hammock in these lazy, crazy, hazy days of Crusading. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2128 There's no burning bush today, so you may need this. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2129 And here's the latest in hoody hair shirts. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2130 Amazon Prime,...... the beginnings 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2131 Don't think I don't it but appreciate but I've really got my hands full 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2132 #11 'Ye shall wear this sweater that I knitted and like it' 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2133 Yes, it is the hand of God; in the future, though, I'll be using Amazon Prime. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2134 Sorry God, but horizontal stripes make me look fat. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2135 Here ...you might get a chilly reception! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2136 go tell it on a mountain! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2137 I should have never mentioned the annual Christmas sweater party. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2138 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's space heater! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2139 ...and thou shalt not dress like you just got out of bed! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2140 We're very productive, we don't just engrave... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2141 You'll need this. You are going to get a very cold reception. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2142 ...and a little something just for you. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2143 Is that sweater hand-knitted with organic yarn? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2144 And here's a little something from the wife... 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2145 Your mother knitted you a little something for the cold reception you'll get from your crowd at the bottom. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2146 It's cold at night where you're going. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2147 You might need this - the promised land has gotten a little chilly lately. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2148 And you'll need this, on the off chance that someone obeys them. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2149 And this is for you...your mother made you a sweater for the trip, she says it might get cold. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2150 Take these and call me in the morning. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2151 God is white? 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2152 Wow, I just ordered that an hour ago on Amazon! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2153 I'll hold your sweater for you. I promise you won't need it for the next 40 years. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2154 Thou shall not freeze to death getting up here for my commandments. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2155 Good luck with those commandments, but from now on, my thing is knitting. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2156 God, the Mother. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2157 Number 11. Thou shalt not leave the house without a sweater. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2158 Put on a sweater, my Mother says she's cold. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2159 Stop complaining, I only have holey sweaters. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2160 If you don't want to be remembered as the guy who invented the hoodie, then fine. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2161 The eleventh commandment: Obey your mother. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2162 Yeah, I bought it on Amazon, and it doesn't fit me. But these I'll keep. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2163 It's going to be a very long winter! 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2164 Trust me. It's going to be a cold reception. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2165 Umm...can we keep that as more of a Recommendation? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2166 Forty nights on a desert mountain top, and you didn't bring a sweater. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2167 When the burning bush didn't work, I knew I'd grab your attention with this loud sweater. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2168 How much do you covet your brother's hoodie, Moses? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2169 Make it 10 and I'll give you this 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2170 thou shalt not put thy wife's favorite sweater in the dryer 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2171 Bible outtakes: The story of Moses and the hoodie of many colors. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2172 I know it's cold up there. This will warm you and the tablets before you serve them. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2173 Just to be clear . . . you want "thou shall knit" to replace the thing about idols or coveting? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2174 It's just a suggestion. 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2175 No thanks, I'll be right back. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2176 One last thing - thou shalt put on thy sweater; it's cold out! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2177 Soooo... the 10 commandments for the children of Isreal and the sweater for your wife. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2178 This is the latest trend- breathable fabric and comfy to wear on long walks 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2179 It's size XL. But I'm God. I can make it any size you want. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2180 I picked this out for Joseph. Whaddya think, maybe a bit over the top, color-wise? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2181 Remind me to make you some sneakers too, those Birkenstocks are God awful. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2182 Here, you can tell your wife you went shopping for her. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2183 You're going to get the cold shoulder after you read these commandments. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2184 It's NOT going to shrink!... trust me, I'm God! 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2185 Details are my business. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2186 Thou shall not deny climate change. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2187 ...and this one's just a suggestion... 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2188 Before you go, here's a suggestion from Mrs. God. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2189 Saint laurent cashmere 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2190 Number 11 is always wear cashmere. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2191 Honor her by finally wearing this sweater she bought at discount for your birthday, and shave that beard so she can see your pretty face. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2192 Thou shalt also replace your old holey one with this holy one. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2193 It looks warm, but is it waterproof? 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2194 Here...I invented the turtleneck. Now you can lose the beard. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2195 ... and your mom commands that you wear this sweater on the mountain. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2196 Before we start, your mom wants you to put on this on. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2197 Here, put this on....it will be awhile! 1.1471 0.08583 34 31 1 2
2198 You forgot the eleventh: when hell freezes over, wear your hoodie. 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2199 One other thing: "Thou shall not be preoccupied with fashion." 1.1471 0.06165 34 29 5 0
2200 Take it. It couldn't hurt. 1.1471 0.07472 34 30 3 1
2201 "Thou shalt shop the clearance sale at Bergdorf." What do you mean, there's no more room? 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2202 Layers Moishele! 1.1429 0.07268 35 31 3 1
2203 Six says you shall labor and on the seventh dress casual. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2204 Thou shalt wash this in cold water only, and lay it flat to dry. 1.1429 0.06001 35 30 5 0
2205 Not only can these fingers write on stone but take a look at this sweater I knitted. 1.1379 0.08191 29 26 2 1
2206 Mosie Baby, When the burning bush goes out, you'll need a little sweater. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2207 Yes, I knit. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2208 Honor thy father and mother. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2209 Here, those are going to get a chilly reception. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2210 And, thou shalt not send me any more Christmas sweaters. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2211 Just put it on and don't argue with me. Reread #4. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2212 without the burning bush it can get cold on the mount 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2213 Honor thy father and mother. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2214 They said I could either bow the knee or hang. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2215 Put this on, your mother is cold. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2216 I thought you said we should expect "Global Warming" 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2217 Follow these commandments and get a free Tshirt 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2218 Does my ability to knit surprise you? 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2219 And use this until you invent sunscreen. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2220 No one will believe you with a runny nose. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2221 Here. Wear this to protect yourself when you tell them they still can't commit adultery. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2222 It is pronounced Seder 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2223 How many times must I tell you ... 'when you climb a mountain for messages, you take a sweater! Oy!' 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2224 Isn't Joseph's coat a different episode? 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2225 Mother Nature says put this on before you catch your death! 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2226 It shrunk in the wash, sooooo... 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2227 Here you go. Your mom said she forgot to put a sweater in your basket 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2228 Um thanks for the rule book and all, but it's gonna be a couple thousand years before I'll be willing to wear a hoodie. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2229 Thou shalt put on a sweater 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2230 I made it from an IKEA rug. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2231 Your grandmother wanted you to have this, too. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2232 I'm saving the black one for Steve Jobs. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2233 Number 11: never wash woolens in water. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2234 Patagonia or Graven Image? 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2235 Oh, and here. Jeff Bezos asked me to deliver this. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2236 Honour your father and your mother. You'll catch cold if you don't put it on. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2237 Number Eleven! Never pay retail. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2238 And thou shalt stay warm to please thy mother. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2239 Polytheism, no. Polyester, okay. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2240 You'll need this sweater, Moishe. It's cold down there. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2241 Honor thy mother. It's chilly- put on a sweater. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2242 God prepares him to deliver the Ten Recommendations. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2243 Nice try Moses, but I'm not falling for the ole 'I need to come back because I forgot my sweater trick'. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2244 Wear this until global warming kicks in. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2245 No, there is no commandment that prohibits regifting, but I am vengeful. And omniscient. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2246 I will now set forth my 'Ten Suggestions.' 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2247 Here put this one or you'll freeze to death. Take 2 tablets and call me in the morning. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2248 I'll need this back by Thursday. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2249 I lost the third tablet, so I scribbled it on the back of this jacket instead. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2250 now I understand the handling fee 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2251 Mom, stop you're embarrassing me! 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2252 Call it number 11. You shall always accept God's hand me downs 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2253 The Church was having a yard sale 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2254 Number 11: Layer. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2255 You will need this when hell freezes over. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2256 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Patagonia either. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2257 No, really, I like it just as much as these! 1.1290 0.08971 31 29 0 2
2258 Thank you for doing business with Amazon. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2259 When darkness and destruction descends on the earth, it may get a bit chilly! 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2260 You may have been created in my image, Moses, but you're a lousy dresser. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2261 Yes, I know but it can get cold on the mountain. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2262 I know it's the desert, but it gets cold at night. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2263 God, you are so bossy! 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2264 Oy vey, I remember when a sweater went for five commandments. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2265 Our covenant includes a deal with LL Bean 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2266 No returns after 30 days. It's in the fine print. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2267 You thought Global Warming was a bad thing, so enjoy the next Ice Age. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2268 Take it, take it. TAKE IT! 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2269 Because it will be a cold day in hell before there are other gods before me 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2270 If this doesn't fit you can return it within thirty days. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2271 ...and when they start coveting thy sweater, thou shalt know what to say. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2272 You’re likely to get a chilly reception when you read those, so you might want to put this on. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2273 You're going to need this because of the cold reception you're get. 1.1290 0.08971 31 29 0 2
2274 Buy two tablets get a sweater free. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2275 Your mother says you need this. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2276 Thou shalt wear alpaca. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2277 Bestowing purls. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2278 I'm Mrs. Yahweh. Here, dear, something for the chill up here. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2279 It wouldn't hurt you to listen to your mother for once 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2280 Here, Amazon was having a sale. 1.1290 0.08971 31 29 0 2
2281 I'm on Amazon.com.! 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2282 THOUGH SHALT NOT ADVERTISE AS ONE SIZE FITS ALL. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2283 what's the delivery charge? 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2284 ..and Thou Shalt Not Catch Cold. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2285 Wear the turtleneck Moses. You're less likely to be stoned if they think you're a hipster. If you have them, some chinos and loafers would be a nice touch. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2286 Thou shalt not forsake the winter sweater sale at Old Navy. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2287 And then God created the 3/4 sleeve, and so we could cover our elbows but never our wrists. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2288 Thou shalt knit. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2289 A gift is not something you get at a thrift store. OMG. What a cheapskate. And it has too many colors for me. Save it for Joseph. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2290 Don't ask. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2291 You could be in for a chilly reception 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2292 Congratulations. Here is your varsity sweater. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2293 Err, "cold day in hell" was just a figure of speech. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2294 I got this for you on a stopover in Iceland. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2295 Did you keep the receipt? 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2296 Mary said it will make you look more approachable. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2297 Evidence that God is a Mom. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2298 Shopping on a tablet is divine! 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2299 Really, I shouldn't have to tell you. 1.1290 0.08971 31 29 0 2
2300 Here's a little something for your trouble. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2301 No,no,no,no, it's a "miracle" you don't catch your death up there on that mountain of yours. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2302 I'm thinking for 11 - Thou shalt stay warm. What do you think? 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2303 It's the hoodie of many colors. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2304 Well, I planned to burn a bush for some warmth, but the fire danger's too high today, so take this instead 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2305 Amazon also offers clothing & accessories. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2306 Amazon Bypasses Restrictive Drone Laws 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2307 It doesn't fit me. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2308 And this is from your grandmother. 1.1290 0.08971 31 29 0 2
2309 It's more of a suggestion than a commandment. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2310 I said, "Thou shalt not COVER" 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2311 Oh, and XI: Thou shalt not mess with the thermostat. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2312 Show them this cashmere, that should convince them. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2313 Almost forgot. Thou shalt not be chilly. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2314 And, finally, thou shalt not wear this parka before Thanksgiving. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2315 No, this is your coat of arms. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2316 A swap? Are you serious? 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2317 Commandment #11: Thou shalt not make any returns past the 7th day. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2318 "Here, try this. Redingote are out of date and scaring people now. Try Wool to be Cool". -Hipster God. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2319 This one's more of a fatherly suggestion. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2320 Okay, Moses. We have a deal. I’ll give you the two autographed tablets and throw in this virgin lamb’s wool hoodie for a golden calf. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2321 The eleventh commandment is always take a jacket when you climb a mountain. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2322 I AM the Lord your God... now take this, honey. It's a bit nippy in Canaan. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2323 And for a limited time only, you get a free sweater with your purchase 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2324 It's wool. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2325 I told your mother I'd give you the sweater, but there'll be no 'Dress Warmly' commandment. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2326 Oh, one last thing. You will be needing this where you are heading. It has frozen over. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2327 Thou shalt not cruise retail stores, then buy the same item on line 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2328 Thou shalt not covet Patagonia 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2329 Wait, there's one more -- #11: Dry Clean Only! 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2330 After Moses takes the 10 Commandments, G_d makes the first Suggestion – take this sweater so you shouldn’t catch a cold. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2331 Trade? 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2332 It's going to get chilly down there. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2333 More than bless, you need sweater! 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2334 Last but not least, it's Merino wool. You're welcome. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2335 And that's not all! 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2336 If people take those seriously you'll need this for when Hell freezes over. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2337 One last thing Moses, Winter is Coming. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2338 At this height on the mountain, you'll need your winter coat. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2339 it's couture...trust me, it's a thing. 1.1290 0.08971 31 29 0 2
2340 Oh, and one more: Thou shalt not dress like a schlub. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2341 Dad can tut-tut all he wants. I'm still your mom. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2342 This doesn't help with cold feet but it's a start... 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2343 It's great, but do you think we could've put the commandments on some lightweight fabric too? 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2344 I want you to start in Iceland. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2345 Yes, I did say to take two tablets, but you must also keep from getting chilled. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2346 The good news is, at least it's frozen over. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2347 Have you forgotten? You ordered it on your tablet! 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2348 Here you go. Please, get rid of the ugly Xmas sweater. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2349 . . . and, Moses, put on this sweater. Your mother's cold. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2350 Maybe you'll look more like Charlton Heston with this on. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2351 Last offer, it's a pashmina, cage-free pull-over, for those two slabs. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2352 The 11th commandment, which I didn't give you was: Never go out at night without a sweater! 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2353 Oh, and here is something for the little lady. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2354 One more thing: Thou shalt wear your sweater. It's going to be cold today. 1.1290 0.06121 31 27 4 0
2355 Our focus group says this and the beard will make you more relevant to the under 55 set. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2356 I said capsules, not tablets. Use this to fight the fever. 1.1290 0.07679 31 28 2 1
2357 Don't covet it. Just wear it. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2358 Forgot one: "Thou shall not go out without your sweater" 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2359 They will mock you. Wear your mock neck. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2360 Location, Lord, location. Couldn't you promise us a more centrally located land? 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2361 and lastly, thou shalt wear this sweater so thou shalt not catch pneumonia shlepping around in that outfit! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2362 The 11th commandment : Never leave without a sweater. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2363 A gift for me ? Thou shalt not have. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2364 To keep them warm, and hide the fat. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2365 Let's see. It's two tablets a day and wear the sweater when I feel a draft. The socks will be ready next week, and your name is Agnes. 1.1250 0.08695 32 30 0 2
2366 Like a burning bush, it's so warm. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2367 The first commandment should be dress accordingly. Here, put this on before you catch a cold. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2368 Winter is here. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2369 Thou shalt wear Gore-Tex. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2370 And... Number 11...always take a sweater. If you don't need, then you'll take it off. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2371 Thou shalt not catch thy death. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2372 So G-d really is a 'She'. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2373 Take two tablets, stay warm and pray to me in the morning. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2374 One last thing, always wear your sweater outdoors. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2375 I'll trade you . 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2376 Let's add one more - Thou shall not re-gift. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2377 In case people give you the cold shoulder. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2378 When your descendents go to the mountaintops they will be thus attired. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2379 Eleventh Commandment! A sweater is what you wear when your Mother is cold! 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2380 You may need this in case they don't listen. The desert gets cold at night. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2381 Say, Can you give Joseph this. He must have left it. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2382 this decalogue is hardly fair trade for my hand woven egyptian wool sweater 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2383 Or we can embroider them on this lovely sweater... 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2384 Not the striped one. It itches. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2385 Guard the Sabbath and Keep it Hygge. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2386 Winter is coming! Oh. Sorry. Wrong show ... 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2387 Hey, big shot, you forgot your sweater. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2388 Here's your Amazon Prime order. 1.1250 0.05940 32 28 4 0
2389 Thou shalt not crochet. 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2390 AND ALWAYS BUY WHOLESALE 1.1250 0.07446 32 29 2 1
2391 This should cover it. 1.1212 0.07227 33 30 2 1
2392 I used to think drone delivery was heavenly. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2393 Thou shalt not kilt, but you better sweater. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2394 Oh, and 11th is: match colors to the season. Here, get on the program Moses. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2395 It'll look good on you, you have my word. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2396 Try changing your look 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2397 I miss the burning bush. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2398 But I wanted a cardigan. Is that from the sale rack? Who does your nails? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2399 Amazon's new ...Instant Delivery! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2400 Honor thy father! It's nippy my child. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2401 With this message, you should expect an icy reception. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2402 It gets chilly way up here and I like to crochet in my spare time. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2403 I am the mother of all things -- and all things shall put on a sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2404 "Take the two tablets, dress warmly, and call me in yhe morning". 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2405 And then God said unto Moses: "That's a wrap." 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2406 Thou shalt have no other hand-me-downs before mine. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2407 Your mother is cold. She commands you put a sweater on. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2408 I'm thinking stone makes a stronger statement than yarn, but then again, who am I to question. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2409 Or I can teach you to play hacky sack. Up to you. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2410 For your cold, take the two tablets and dress warmly. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2411 Tell Dathan he won't need this where he's going. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2412 No return on the tablets, but I'll take back the sweater if it doesn't fit. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2413 And the 11th is cable-knit 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2414 I'll take the Hoody, you'll have enough problems with the tablets. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2415 Got it. Moths and weevils. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2416 Thou shalt buy clothing from Lord & Taylor. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2417 Oh, and one more thing. Thou shalt not wear turtleneck sweaters like this one. They're just dumb. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2418 Thou shall not leave thy sweater at thy neighbor’s wife’s house. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2419 And you have to do it in an itchy sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2420 You can at least say you lived to see the promised Lands End. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2421 With fifteen you get the whole suit. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2422 If you want to honor thy mother, just take it … 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2423 You shall have no other goods before Me! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2424 You might catch Pneumonia in that robe . . . don't need to end up in Mt. Sinai. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2425 " Don't question the hand of God." O.K. Mom! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2426 But wait - there's more! And only one hundred shekels plus shipping and handling, ay-yay-yay! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2427 The beard is good, but trim it. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2428 Moses trust me, this will make it more hip for the kids. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2429 Thou shalt not shiver. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2430 And if that fails try selling this. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2431 This is so you remember to tell them the about the sweater rule. The other ten you can smash for all I care. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2432 Yes, Moses, it is a flak jacket, and believe Me, you're going to need it. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2433 This one is just for you. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2434 One more -- Sweater Saturday! Thou shalt wear a sweater every Saturday. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2435 Desert, schmesert, down there, at night, it's cold. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2436 Corporate says we need to modernize 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2437 Take this with those 2 cold tablets. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2438 I'm pretty sure he's at Mar-a-Lago. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2439 Didn't your mother tell you to wear this? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2440 Becsuse 1: there's a draft, and 2: your mother said so, and she's covered by #5. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2441 ... and update your wardrobe. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2442 Take these two tablets, wash in cold water, then block your clean garment. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2443 The missus made it for you. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2444 XI. " ... and if it be VERY cold, thou shalt also wear a hat and mittens." 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2445 Numer eleven. Listen to your mother. It's cold up there. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2446 You mean I can't even covet my neighbor's sweater? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2447 Thou shall not cover thy neighbors wife. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2448 Oh can you also drop this off at the dryclean... No, sorry, the commandments will be fine. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2449 Thous shalt not dry clean. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2450 " I crochet in my spare time". 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2451 Even in paradise we have a dressing code 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2452 Let my hoodie go 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2453 it's cold. Put this on when you take off your shoes. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2454 Heavenly to have a Body Freedom girl with us! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2455 You'll need this for the chilling response of those G-d damn atheists! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2456 It's just a cold. Use this hoodie, take two tablets, and call me in the morning. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2457 No! I asked for one with a zipper! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2458 Now that I'm done with stone carving, I'm taking up knitting. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2459 You are going to have a cold reception 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2460 Number 11: Thy shalt honor thy mother's wishes 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2461 Trust me here, Mo. You'll kill in this, so to speak. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2462 Only if I can send it back. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2463 Here. It's a little chilly up here. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2464 Just take two tablets and bundle up. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2465 And the LORD said unto Moses, "it might be chilly on the way down, just take it in case..." 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2466 Ugly as it may be, you'll need it for my son's birthday party. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2467 Keep the Sabbath day holy and cedar in the sleeves when your not wearing it. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2468 Dry cleanith only, as it is written. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2469 Deus ex Sweaterca 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2470 Remember to keep the Sabbath day, homie. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2471 Thou shall not clash. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2472 Number 11 isn't written down: Always wear something warm on cold Sinai nights. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2473 There is a 50% chance that a cold front will come through tonight. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2474 Also, can you also return this to Walmart for me? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2475 I was kidding about the gay stuff and the mixed fabrics stuff. Here, take a rainbow sweater. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2476 I know you don't always like my motherly tendencies, but I knitted it just for you. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2477 Number Eleven: Thou shalt not wash thy wool sweater in hot water. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2478 Drawing by Benjamin Schwartz, Contest #581, August 28, 2017 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2479 I take a 40 Regular without the Tablets 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2480 You dress so shabbily. Take this rainbow coat of many colors, it's very gay 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2481 Behold, I bring you a gift from the Lord of Lost Polly Pockets. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2482 That's the benefit of being the Holy Shepherd. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2483 No, you don't need it to be waterproof. Trust me. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2484 Wear this to give you street cred. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2485 And, a little something for your wife for the effort. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2486 It was on sale, you'll grow into it. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2487 Your mother said you should wear a sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2488 No mention of coveting a jacket. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2489 Thanks for signing up for Anazon Primes Direct Service. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2490 When they get around to reading them, you'll need some street cred. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2491 Your mother says it's cold 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2492 The next time you see me I'll be a freezing bush. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2493 It's a size X. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2494 We're scrapping the original tablets. You're need a jacket while we come up with new rules. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2495 I understand you'll believe in me when hell freezes over. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2496 And you should wear more horizontal stripes. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2497 YOU SHALL NOT CATCH COLD !! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2498 Do you have it in navy, no stripes? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2499 Global warming, global schmorming. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2500 Oh my God, can we add one more? Please, no horizontal stripes. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2501 And number eleven, thou shalt not mock turtleneck. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2502 Better wear this ... it's gonna be a chilly reception ... 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2503 Remember thy neck, to keep it warm 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2504 I thought they were cold tablets. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2505 I don't care how other prophets are dressing, thou shalt wear this to school, my son. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2506 Thou shalt not covet the Lord's comfy sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2507 What about this for your little Christian mingle? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2508 This will last longer than the burning bush. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2509 Try it on. That's a commandment! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2510 You might get a chilly reception when you return. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2511 If you give me those two paper towel rolls, I'll give you this sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2512 Your mother's right -- it does get chilly in the desert after dinner. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2513 And one more thing: Thou shalt not wear turtleneck sweaters. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2514 I've given up golf for knitting. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2515 A hoodie in the Sinai? Really? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2516 It gets cold up here. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2517 If you want to destroy my sweater, break the tablets and walk away. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2518 Let it be written: "No striped turtleneck shirts with sandals!" 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2519 let's just stick with the first 10 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2520 Is this an attempt to eclipse me? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2521 Keep it under wraps. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2522 And number eleven: hand wash only. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2523 Sent by Amazon Echo, paid for by God 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2524 You might need this. The desert gets cold at night. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2525 Eleven, thou shalt not wash wool in hot water. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2526 No! No! I said: Thou Shalt Knit! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2527 This will help you to avoid brain freeze so you won't drop the tablets. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2528 Drop the tablets and take the sweater. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2529 Here is a little reward for doing the Tablet thing for me. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2530 Not a commandment. Just a suggestion. Fashion is your friend. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2531 In case hell freezes over... 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2532 Oh, and thou shalt not wear turtlenecks in the summer. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2533 Welcome to the valley Moses. You shall lead the tribe with my tablets, omnipresent cloud, and this lofty hoodie. Together, we will make the world a better place. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2534 Welcome to the valley Moses. You shall lead the tribe with my tablets, omnipresent cloud, and this lofty hoodie. Together, we will make the world a better place. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2535 Be prepared for an ice age. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2536 Now. will you stop grumbling about how cold it is up here and write Dow what I tell you? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2537 Your mom said that you are not dressed properly for a cold mountain top and asked me to give you this. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2538 I realize that this is kind of sudden, but we have need for someone like you in Saskatchewan. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2539 Thou shalt also be warm. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2540 Thou shall not knit. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2541 Bubbie says you'll catch your death. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2542 I knew the 6th commandment could be a problem. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2543 Is that a "Free People" sweater? It's too radical for the people. Let's stick with the tablets. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2544 A little something extra for the grandchildren. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2545 A hair shirt! Are the stone tablets too much? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2546 Listen, I've already told you, Joseph got the technicolor dreamcoat. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2547 It's not the weather I'm worried about. It's your circumcision concept. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2548 Trust me, I don't need to ask the weatherman. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2549 Dry clean only?!? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2550 11 always wear a warm sweater 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2551 Thou shall not wear a turtleneck. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2552 One more thing - there will be a cold snap. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2553 I said I wasn't cold, Mom! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2554 And dress for the weather. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2555 You'll never make it to the Promised Land, but at least be comfortable on the journey. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2556 They said, " it will be a cold day in hell before they listen". 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2557 And the 11th commandment: don't forget a sweater, it'll be cold today. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2558 Try this for your next ugly sweater party. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2559 I just knew climate change was fake news. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2560 So I should drop five of your Commandments to save myself from freezing to death? Is that my final offer?" 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2561 Fleece is the word. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2562 Although it didn't make the top ten, thou shalt not be chilly. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2563 It's a bonus for doing all 10. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2564 And thou shalt have FREE Same-Day Delivery. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2565 It's made of 100% manna thread. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2566 Scientology is weirder than I expected. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2567 Trust me you will want this. Those desert nights can get a little chilly 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2568 Today's commandment is sponsored by Nike. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2569 Commandment Number 11: Fashion 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2570 The beard isn't as effective as you think. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2571 A regift from God 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2572 Better take it. You won't believe what's coming. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2573 It gets pretty cold in the desert at night, you're going to need this. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2574 I call it the amazing technicolor mock turtleneck. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2575 Thou shalt honor thy mother, and thy mother said to put on a sweater because the mountain is chilly. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2576 And add an eleventh: wear your jacket. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2577 "Funny, I've always thought of Thee as a Jewish father! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2578 I ran out of tablets, so I knitted 5 more onto this. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2579 I'm beginning to thing you DON'T have a divine plan. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2580 Think of mine as the 10 Least Things you would do if you loved me. Now put this on before you catch your death. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2581 100 PERCENT SHEEP WOOL - Made in Heaven "Wear this when the sun goes down." 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2582 So, #11 will be "Never Pay Retail?" 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2583 One more thing: this just shrunk in the wash; maybe it'll fit you. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2584 If thou love me then help me remove this stain. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2585 ....and wear this. There will be a cool reception to the sixth rule. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2586 Opps, my bad. I'll trade you for something useful that won't cast the world into centuries of religious strife. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2587 And I say unto you, "Winter is coming." 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2588 In case it's chilly. Not a commandment, just a suggestion. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2589 Something for the little lady. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2590 For the cold desert nights. Don't say I never gave you anything. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2591 No, I had a hat. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2592 #11 You shall not sniffle! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2593 No, thank you... The last handout you gave ended civilization! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2594 In the original Hebrew its, "Thou shalt not murder." 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2595 I know it's the desert, but doesn't it get chilly in the desert at night? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2596 Pssst... Thou Shalt Not Pay Retail! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2597 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's hoodie. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2598 What are you, my mother? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2599 If you don't like it, I can turn it into something else. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2600 Really? You want me to add "Always Wear a Sweater When Its Chilly?" 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2601 Sorry, I didn't have time to wrap it. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2602 Be careful not to drop any of the twelve tablets ! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2603 Ivanka say's "You'll Love It! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2604 God's Goodwill 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2605 And to help with the chilling effect... 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2606 It's a heavenly special. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2607 Thou shalt keep warm. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2608 When I told you to go out you forgot your sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2609 And on the fifth day he created cashmere. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2610 Veils are so last-year. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2611 Thanks but I really prefer a Yankee baseball jacket." 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2612 One more thing... (sigh)... from your mother. Yocheved is convinced you’ll catch your death up here. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2613 Seems Hell has frozen over! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2614 I knit it myself. Isn't it cute? It goes great with your sandals. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2615 So I get a cold reception when I deliver these tablets? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2616 Didn't I tell you to honor your mother. It's cold on a mountain top. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2617 Pssst...give them something practical to use. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2618 Lord, I don't need a pullover sweater. I prayed that you would "pullover" the sinners to our side. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2619 ...and if they're still not on board, then tell 'em "Winter is Coming.™" 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2620 Trust your mother on this; you don't want to be catching cold. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2621 How am I supposed to turn this into a joke if I can't tell whether that's a poncho or a turtleneck? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2622 He's only on the fourth hole. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2623 What do you want? A burning bush? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2624 I asked for a cardigan. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2625 Who needs a drone 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2626 I run the fashion end; Taylor handles merchandising. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2627 Everyone's getting into the same-day delivery service 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2628 If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you're not ugly. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2629 Thou shalt not J. Crew. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2630 Here, put this on or you'll catch your death. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2631 And one more thing: Thou shalt put this on when thy mother is cold. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2632 Also, explain the schmata business. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2633 Haven't I told you about climate change? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2634 Just 10 commandments , Lord. Are you trying to pull the wool over my eyes. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2635 The first commandment: "Put this on, I don't want you to catch a chill." 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2636 What, you don't like the sweater? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2637 It's the answer to a prayer from your mother. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2638 And dressing for the weather is a very strong recommendation. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2639 This is for you, too, but you won't need it if you ignore what's on those tablets. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2640 It's not my size, but I think it will fit you. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2641 Now there's a heavenly sweater. Too bad it's summer. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2642 This didn't make the list but thou shalt not be chilly when there's a draft. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2643 Remember the Day of the Sweater and keep it unholy. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2644 Sure, this mountain's cold. But I'll be damned if I'm coveting. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2645 I'm trading you to the Siberia Saints. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2646 If it's not thy size, thou shalt regift it. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2647 So that's what you do when your husband is off making commandments. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2648 Hurry, put this on before he comes back. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2649 What have you done with Waldo? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2650 Thou shalt wear this! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2651 I gotta hand you everything. Ya nev'a listen to your mother, Moisy, going outside without your cover. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2652 I think they'll buy it if you look a little more bad ass. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2653 AND THEN THERE WERE HOODIES 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2654 Tablets, shmablets... PUT ON A SWEATER! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2655 You're tired of the desert? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2656 I hope you're not bribing me with that sweater. The tablets are mine! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2657 Angora of the Covenant 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2658 Try it on. It's genuine Naugahyde. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2659 Thank you! I've been freezing for the past 39 days. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2660 I have brought thee into the 21st century, so lose the dress. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2661 Thou shalt not sweat the little things. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2662 Jochebed says the 11th. Commandment is "PUT YOUR SWEATER ON!! IT'S COLD ON THAT MOUNT!!!" 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2663 I keep telling you, only use cold water when washing my fine wools. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2664 It's cold on that mountain - so I also made you a sweater! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2665 I told you not to put my good sweater in the dryer. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2666 I promise, they won't kill the messenger, but they might send him to Siberia! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2667 Are you sure the climate is changing already? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2668 Oh, I almost forgot: Thou shalt not pay retail. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2669 It gets cold in hell. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2670 Wear a sweater. It's cold at the top. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2671 Your Jewish mother didn't want you to be cold. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2672 Eleventh commandment: Wear a sweater, lest ye catch a chill. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2673 No disrespect God, but Amazon already nailed same day delivery. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2674 You're gonna need this for the journey back 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2675 Thou shalt stay warm up here. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2676 And now for the Ten Fashion Do's And Don'ts... 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2677 Consider this an early Christmas present. Very early. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2678 There won't be a burning bush this time. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2679 Moses, I just created knits. Try on this little 3/4 sleeve T. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2680 Go ahead, pull the wool over their eyes! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2681 And thou shalt keep the Sabbath warm and cozy. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2682 They haven't finished the Technicolor Dream Coat, so you'll have to settle for the Sepia Pullover. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2683 And this in in case you are being given the cold shoulder. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2684 They'll get a chilly reception. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2685 Thanks anyway. But, it's hot next to that burning bush! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2686 I know the desert can be cold at night. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2687 Oh, 11.) Take a jacket. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2688 Oh no! When I said 'a cold day in hell', I was only joking. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2689 I knitted ten. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2690 Thou shall not be cold. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2691 You know what they say about Gods with big hands 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2692 By the way, Moses, here's an early Christmas present. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2693 You won't wander very far without a coat 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2694 Take it, I only knit these for my chosen ones. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2695 ... and don't forget to wear your galoshes. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2696 This better be my wife's size. She hasn't been shopping in 40 years. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2697 If this doesn't fit, take the two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2698 One more thing. The desert gets almighty cold at night. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2699 I know I'm being bossy, but I command you to put this on too. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2700 I didn't want you to catch a cold. But if you do, take two tablets and call me in the morning. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2701 Come on, any self-respecting Israelite knows "thou shalt never wear polyester"! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2702 No, don't thank Me. It's just an old hand-me-down. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2703 And get yourself some sensible shoes too. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2704 This is for the 'cold' reception you'll get down there. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2705 #11 -Thou shalt not put sweaters in the dryer 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2706 Let's warm up the message a little, Moses; 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2707 and... thou shall wear this! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2708 Here, take this...the desert can get a little chilly at night. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2709 Next stop is Patagonia. You'll need this. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2710 Covet this! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2711 You don't think the desert gets cold at night? Which one of us should know? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2712 I'll take this. You won't need it where you're going. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2713 Artemis knitted you a sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2714 Oh, and I almost forgot: Thou shalt not wear white after Labor Day. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2715 It's a souvenir for you. It says, "I visited Mt. Horeb and all I got was this lousy shirt." 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2716 Number eleven, thou shalt wear your sweater when you mother says to. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2717 "Stop qveching already! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2718 The king can have his robe back when I get a 401k. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2719 It's not a commandment, just a suggestion from someone with some life experience. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2720 See if it fits 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2721 Oh, one more thing, Gabriel washed this in hot, and now it doesn't fit anymore. Canst thou use a comfy turtleneck? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2722 And thou shalt not catch your death! Take the coat! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2723 Follow those Commandments or I'll make you wear this sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2724 Now thee will never covet thy neighbor's sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2725 Unwritten rule: Bring a sweater. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2726 Take two tablets, wear this in the evening, and please call your Mother more often. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2727 Oh - and this really cool parka.. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2728 Take this gift, and make Turtlenecks the new trend. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2729 But I'm sweating already. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2730 Try this protective cover for your tablet..... 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2731 Oh, and Moses -- here's a little something to go with the sandals... 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2732 Wear this. The reception from your people will turn frosty when you read out the sixth. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2733 Winter ware, does this mean that I'm not going down under? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2734 Is that a multidenominational holiday sweater, or are you just happy to see me? 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2735 Merry Christmas. Don't ask, just take it. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2736 You forgot 'Thou shalt weareth thy Grandmother's knitting'. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2737 They will covet your sweater. It'll be a hoot. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2738 With what I have planned for you, you won't be needing this. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2739 What? The King said to make ourselves at home! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2740 Thou shat not wear this tucked in. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2741 NO MOSES, I MEANT BRING YOUR BROTHER AARON - NOT AN ARAN! 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2742 Father, Please! Can't I decide this one thing for myself? 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2743 The weatherman said it may snow today 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2744 11) Thou shall wear ugly sweaters in December to commemorate my birth. 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2745 Thanks for the beautiful sweater, but I think it's too warm for the Land of Canaan. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2746 And DON'T WHERE THIS 'TIL AFTER LABOR DAY... 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2747 And check out this sweater I got you for 50% off at Barney's. Oh, I meant to add that to the tablets, 'thou shalt always delight in a great deal.' 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2748 No worries, global warming won't be here for a very long time 1.1071 0.05952 28 25 3 0
2749 Or, this sweater! 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2750 Your neighbor's wife might like this. 1.1071 0.07867 28 26 1 1
2751 Is it made from mixed fibers? 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
2752 The desert will turn into an ice rink before the people keep those commandments. So here, in case they do. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
2753 boychik, my mother knitted this for you so you won't catch your death. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
2754 Look what I commanded from MY tablet! 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
2755 Thou shalt attire thyself in hipster clothing such as this vintage raglan sweater. 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
2756 Cloud services, of course. But nice tablets. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
2757 Is is wrinkleproof 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
2758 Take it! It's got the Charlton Heston logo on the back 1.1034 0.07600 29 27 1 1
2759 And, finally, thou shalt not knit pick! 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
2760 Sorry Moses, this is the only colors left. 1.1034 0.05755 29 26 3 0
2761 Thou shalt not be chilly. 1.1034 0.05755 29