Contest #580


Cartoon

580


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started 2017-08-21
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued 2017-09-03 (estimated)
Number of captions 4141
Number of responses 425835
Number of participants 14510


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 When he starts acting like a king, I'll start acting like a guard. 1.9495 0.00991 6176 2037 2414 1725
1 I'm swinging in the reign. 1.9053 0.01120 5071 1875 1801 1395
2 I kind of like it when he's away on the Crusades. 1.8718 0.01048 5001 1735 2172 1094
3 Technically, I'm guarding two posts. 1.8689 0.01091 5150 1959 1907 1284
4 No, I will not push you again. 1.8644 0.01654 2154 800 846 508
5 Wake me when things are great again. 1.8640 0.01178 4447 1715 1622 1110
6 How he ever produced heirs in this thing, I don't know. 1.8394 0.01950 1569 614 593 362
7 It's a gift from King Hammacher of Schlemmer. 1.8375 0.01154 4757 1956 1618 1183
8 I'm just swinging in the reign. 1.8223 0.01538 2622 1087 914 621
9 Don't worry. He's never here. He thinks the palace is a dump. 1.7910 0.01459 3000 1337 953 710
10 Wait! Did he tell me to take the hammock or the hemlock? 1.7858 0.01251 3698 1551 1388 759
11 I've been suspended. 1.7825 0.01196 3927 1622 1537 768
12 He said one knight stand, didn’t he? 1.7733 0.01254 4164 1943 1222 999
13 Nighty knight. 1.7705 0.01835 1708 732 636 340
14 Dude, it's a hundred years war. 1.7647 0.01246 3952 1787 1308 857
15 I'm telling you, 'standing guard' is just an expression. 1.7556 0.01305 3224 1375 1262 587
16 One trip to Spain and you're all about the siesta. 1.7450 0.01833 1616 697 634 285
17 That was one helluva' party. Where'd we leave the King? 1.7407 0.01884 1647 750 574 323
18 Just tell me if you hear the drawbridge. 1.7347 0.01860 1519 654 614 251
19 I was sentenced to hang. 1.7281 0.01313 3237 1463 1191 583
20 I shall not be swayed! 1.7201 0.01302 3251 1478 1205 568
21 Me? I'm the Court Rester. 1.7184 0.02144 1204 550 443 211
22 It's fine, he'll be watching Fox for at least the next hour. 1.7116 0.01373 3246 1596 990 660
23 Just swing in' in the reign! 1.6975 0.01447 2813 1382 900 531
24 Stop worrying. He doesn't care about hard work. He just expects loyalty. 1.6944 0.02014 1394 672 476 246
25 This time rock me with the blunt end. 1.6889 0.01402 3060 1544 924 592
26 That's not what the king meant when he asked you to work the swing shift. 1.6867 0.01340 2959 1395 1096 468
27 It's a nice perk, I agree...but I'd prefer health insurance. 1.6842 0.01844 1504 697 585 222
28 No, all he said was "no sitting on my throne while I'm gone" 1.6682 0.01531 2242 1084 818 340
29 I've got the knight shift. 1.6601 0.02041 1321 664 442 215
30 It's nice, but I'd rather we got dental. 1.6555 0.01467 2473 1231 863 379
31 You may as well make yourself comfortable. He went to try and make peace with the French. 1.6509 0.01502 2395 1211 809 375
32 It's not a huge deal. You just get a letter from the court doctor about bad knees. 1.6310 0.01658 1946 1012 640 294
33 It's not my fault you only have one pillar. 1.6256 0.01783 1744 932 533 279
34 Do you think I'm too easily swayed? 1.6230 0.01528 2220 1151 755 314
35 Going union was the best decision we ever made. 1.6158 0.01653 1991 1071 614 306
36 The Airbnb listing did say it was "fit for a king." 1.6150 0.01608 1992 1044 671 277
37 Hmmm, you know, "Game of Hammocks", just doesn't have the same ring. 1.6116 0.01816 1617 867 511 239
38 It's ok they always blow the trumpets before he comes in. 1.6068 0.01637 1816 939 652 225
39 And now is the summer of my content. 1.6050 0.01715 1790 964 569 257
40 Another spat with the queen my liege? 1.6003 0.01888 1471 797 465 209
41 He said, and I'm quoting here, "Hang around until I get back. 1.5975 0.01660 1744 911 624 209
42 Our kingdom isn't even relevant until Season 5. 1.5934 0.04352 305 175 79 51
43 Sir, the queen would like to know when will you be returning to your big boy seat? 1.5853 0.01803 1676 948 475 253
44 I suppose this will do, but what I ordered was ham hocks. 1.5836 0.01828 1638 931 458 249
45 Wake me at IV XLV! 1.5783 0.01837 1565 882 461 222
46 Wake me if he tweets. 1.5777 0.01906 1480 842 421 217
47 ...and when I come out after 2 weeks I'll be a monarch! 1.5769 0.02169 1229 725 299 205
48 So this is how it feels to be the King of Swing. 1.5638 0.02294 995 572 285 138
49 Seriously, all you need is a letter from your doctor. 1.5629 0.01781 1693 986 461 246
50 Because I am a royal brother-in-law and you're not. 1.5557 0.02760 646 366 201 79
51 I've been suspended. 1.5547 0.01847 1473 844 441 188
52 No hurry. He tweets for a couple of hours every morning. 1.5513 0.01853 1609 967 397 245
53 I still prefer the Ottoman. 1.5498 0.01895 1435 838 405 192
54 'I'm employee of the month' 1.5498 0.02149 1095 634 320 141
55 This sure is better than being the guillotine tester. 1.5475 0.02064 1158 666 350 142
56 It looked better on Airbnb... 1.5437 0.01893 1466 872 391 203
57 Can we get this in king size? 1.5394 0.02190 1027 598 304 125
58 Tell them the usual - record growth, respect abroad, prosperity for all, and covfefe. 1.5368 0.02039 1265 761 329 175
59 Good night, good knight. 1.5361 0.01929 1259 722 399 138
60 You should join our union. 1.5350 0.02378 871 511 254 106
61 I'm glamping. 1.5303 0.02337 1205 812 147 246
62 Why not? He's golfing in Florida 'til Tuesday. 1.5297 0.02066 1214 734 317 163
63 Wish I had a book... And knew how to read. 1.5296 0.02385 895 537 242 116
64 Does her majesty have another migraine, Sire? 1.5284 0.02258 1005 606 267 132
65 Gotta love casual Fridays. 1.5278 0.02821 576 332 184 60
66 Well, he DID say that if I didn't shape up, my ass would be in a sling... 1.5177 0.02416 821 490 237 94
67 The King said I'd be hanged. This was a happy surprise. 1.4993 0.02529 681 404 214 63
68 I'm just a throne's stow away 1.4968 0.02496 789 492 202 95
69 The rein of the Hammocks was brief but comfortable. 1.4949 0.02455 778 478 215 85
70 Be a dear and fetch me a Bloody Mary. 1.4932 0.02638 738 471 170 97
71 Could you hand me that small pillow on the chair? 1.4925 0.05043 201 128 47 26
72 Wake me up for the impeachment. 1.4921 0.02662 695 437 174 84
73 It's hemorrhoids, ok! You happy now? 1.4917 0.02585 720 449 188 83
74 I take it you're not in the union. 1.4905 0.02565 736 461 189 86
75 I'm also his son-in-law. 1.4900 0.02637 698 438 178 82
76 They'll call me Atilla the Hung. 1.4851 0.02579 705 440 188 77
77 Relax. The last crusade lasted eight years. 1.4851 0.02576 703 438 189 76
78 What's the worst she could do? 1.4837 0.02635 676 423 179 74
79 It's a bi-poler thing. 1.4837 0.02818 674 444 134 96
80 I call it a "sling bunk." Can't wait to show King Hammock my invention! 1.4829 0.02691 671 426 166 79
81 Got any good knight stories? 1.4816 0.02653 681 431 172 78
82 You're the new guy, right? 1.4802 0.02650 656 410 177 69
83 I'm swinging in the reign. 1.4802 0.02711 656 417 163 76
84 I've checked and nowhere in the job description did it say STANDING guard. 1.4800 0.02689 625 388 174 63
85 I'm holding sway. 1.4766 0.02646 642 400 178 64
86 I thought about a crusade, but I'm going with a staycation this year. 1.4765 0.02731 638 406 160 72
87 I still say it beats anything from the Ottoman Empire. 1.4745 0.04333 255 163 63 29
88 Bring me the wench with good balance! 1.4742 0.02887 561 356 144 61
89 The King said it was either a beheading or a hanging. For me the choice was easy. 1.4723 0.02752 614 390 158 66
90 Who's that coming: the king or the jester? They sound so alike these days. 1.4708 0.02944 582 382 126 74
91 I just got tenure. 1.4702 0.02792 587 372 154 61
92 Ever get that nagging feeling you might have left the drawbridge down? 1.4678 0.02939 575 377 127 71
93 I hate to ask, but can you give me a little push? 1.4659 0.02841 558 354 148 56
94 y-y-y-Your Majesty's return is unexpected !! 1.4645 0.02992 564 374 118 72
95 We agreed, when we pillage, it's my turn. When we plunder it is your turn. 1.4621 0.02797 541 338 156 47
96 We should have taken over a castle with a backyard. 1.4615 0.02924 533 342 136 55
97 I prefer to think of it as 'working smarter, not harder'. 1.4614 0.02834 544 344 149 51
98 Sure beats the rack. 1.4577 0.02904 496 311 143 42
99 Great, NOW I have to go to the bathroom. 1.4577 0.03068 496 323 119 54
100 This is even better than the Ottoman Empire! 1.4572 0.03190 444 286 113 45
101 Ignoring my post? I'm literally tied to it. 1.4545 0.02984 506 327 128 51
102 Wake me when it's the Enlightenment. 1.4527 0.03035 497 324 121 52
103 With respect, Sire, I don't feel 'Game of Hammocks' has quite the resonance you're seeking. 1.4527 0.03022 497 323 123 51
104 Stand there if you like but he's not going to be back before September. 1.4527 0.03009 497 322 125 50
105 Let's face it Lance...We have very different guard styles...that's all. 1.4505 0.02947 475 300 136 39
106 I told you we should have upgraded to the queen. 1.4494 0.04848 178 113 50 15
107 That was the best knight's sleep I've had in ages. 1.4489 0.03103 470 307 115 48
108 So he put my ass in a sling. 1.4474 0.03095 456 295 118 43
109 And so it is, my Kingdom is in recline. 1.4459 0.02988 462 294 130 38
110 Throne don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing 1.4457 0.03276 442 295 97 50
111 He Left__Said He Wanted to Make the 'Dark Ages' Great Again 1.4457 0.03211 460 307 101 52
112 It's not my fault you don't have two columns. 1.4435 0.03038 451 289 124 38
113 Chill out, dude. He went to New Jersey to golf again. 1.4424 0.03206 443 293 104 46
114 It feels good to let my guard down. 1.4420 0.03180 448 296 106 46
115 I'm sorry sire. When I booked it they said it was a place to relax among pillars of the community. 1.4409 0.03189 440 290 106 44
116 Hammock, my friend... What should I call this contraption? 1.4398 0.03339 407 270 95 42
117 Your majesty, should I presume you are in the dog castle again with the queen? 1.4397 0.04258 232 150 62 20
118 Tell them I went down swinging. 1.4391 0.03344 435 296 87 52
119 You're right. Not much lumbar support, but it's heaven on my hemorrhoids. 1.4385 0.03118 431 279 115 37
120 Relax. It's season 7. At this point, if His Grace is gone for more than 10 minutes, I'm assuming he's dead. 1.4379 0.03258 427 284 99 44
121 C'mon, give me a push. 1.4363 0.03291 424 284 95 45
122 Tell the Princess she'll never feel the pea in this thing. 1.4331 0.03012 411 259 126 26
123 I dreamt I was the inside of a banana. 1.4325 0.03397 400 270 87 43
124 Approach the hammock just doesn't have the right ring to it. 1.4321 0.03217 405 265 105 35
125 What's the worst that could happen? 1.4321 0.03101 405 259 117 29
126 Wake me up if you hear the bastard coming. 1.4307 0.03561 397 277 69 51
127 Can you push me again? 1.4303 0.03438 402 275 81 46
128 When I'm king, I'm getting a whole bunch of these. 1.4282 0.03181 390 252 109 29
129 Didn't anyone tell you he was in Mar-a-Lago? 1.4282 0.03478 390 267 79 44
130 I'm having an unguarded moment. 1.4274 0.03479 372 251 83 38
131 All right, Sir Lounge-a-lot. Break time's over. 1.4267 0.03161 382 245 111 26
132 Are you sure it said 'King-sized' on the box? 1.4264 0.03419 387 262 85 40
133 The description on Airbnb said it would be two hammocks. 1.4256 0.03465 383 261 81 41
134 Wake me when you hear the flush. 1.4252 0.03498 381 261 78 42
135 I'm supposed to protect him against his worst enemy, so wake me if he starts to tweet. 1.4248 0.03491 379 259 79 41
136 He's SO paranoid. I have to test everything. 1.4228 0.03188 369 237 108 24
137 I just can't sleep standing up anymore. 1.4212 0.03374 368 245 91 32
138 With barbarians at the gate I'm opting for a staycation. 1.4208 0.03205 366 236 106 24
139 Any chance you could find a curtain for that window? 1.4200 0.03401 350 231 91 28
140 I never thought the King would agree to our union's demands 1.4194 0.03403 360 240 89 31
141 What makes you think I couldn't be the next King of Swing? 1.4194 0.03559 360 247 75 38
142 Between pillar and post ain't all that bad. 1.4174 0.03352 357 236 93 28
143 I'm not worried; his absolute minimum shit was 83 minutes. 1.4174 0.04073 357 270 25 62
144 The homeowners' association wouldn't let me put it outside. 1.4162 0.03588 334 226 77 31
145 Everyone who sits in that chair is killed. I found a workaround. 1.4160 0.03486 351 237 82 32
146 I'm bipolar. 1.4150 0.03442 347 232 86 29
147 So who's laughing at the newest Employee of the Month now? 1.4140 0.03638 343 237 70 36
148 "The Queen was in one of her moods again". 1.4140 0.03684 343 239 66 38
149 If this is his idea of hanging, drawing and quartering should be a laugh. 1.4135 0.03332 341 223 95 23
150 There are many sides to the 'throne v. hammock' debate. Many sides 1.4125 0.03636 337 232 71 34
151 No, I'm not enjoying my staycation. 1.4102 0.03658 334 231 69 34
152 Whichever King invented the the throne to sit on all day had clearly never lounged in a hammock. 1.4102 0.03429 334 222 87 25
153 If anyone asks, you're me. 1.4091 0.03536 330 223 79 28
154 I never made fun of your yoga ball. 1.4091 0.03639 330 227 71 32
155 So I figured: why pay rent and spend an hour each way commuting? 1.4091 0.03404 330 218 89 23
156 Casual Fridays. 1.4074 0.03608 324 221 74 29
157 "I said 'hemlock'". 1.4068 0.03650 322 221 71 30
158 No, I don't want to talk about Game of Thrones. 1.4062 0.03797 320 225 60 35
159 Apparently I snore. 1.4057 0.03402 318 209 89 20
160 Talk to Linda in H.R. She's got the forms. 1.4057 0.03682 318 219 69 30
161 I like it. Order one in queen for the wife. 1.4057 0.03600 318 216 75 27
162 This new column is a game changer! 1.4057 0.03628 318 217 73 28
163 You can stand there if you want but he's not coming back till thursday 1.4026 0.03694 313 216 68 29
164 Wake me if what's his name comes back. 1.4019 0.03683 311 214 69 28
165 What? He said make yourself at home... 1.4000 0.03645 305 208 72 25
166 How long have you been standing there? 1.4000 0.03875 305 216 56 33
167 Dude, it really ties the room together. 1.4000 0.03704 305 210 68 27
168 It's a WORKING nap! 1.3993 0.03478 303 201 83 19
169 Think about it. Is someone really going to steal the throne? 1.3987 0.03738 301 208 66 27
170 I am not really a Knight person. 1.3980 0.03695 299 205 69 25
171 I mean why not? The king's always out playing golf 1.3980 0.03844 299 210 59 30
172 It's not my fault if your side has only one column. 1.3973 0.03650 297 202 72 23
173 Just a quick absolute power nap. 1.3973 0.03862 297 209 58 30
174 What? She didn't say we had to "stand" guard. 1.3966 0.03603 295 199 75 21
175 Wake me when the enemies reach the gate... or the King is on the 18th hole, whichever comes first. 1.3959 0.03839 293 205 60 28
176 This is why you join the union. 1.3945 0.03782 289 200 64 25
177 Marketing promised a four poster with overhead mirror, then it went to Accounting 1.3929 0.04184 280 205 40 35
178 I distinctly asked for ham hocks! 1.3924 0.03821 288 201 61 26
179 Might as well chill. I hear the crusade is gonna take a while. 1.3916 0.03871 286 201 58 27
180 What surprised ? - I like to swing both ways. 1.3916 0.03775 286 198 64 24
181 Which way do you swing? 1.3916 0.03709 286 196 68 22
182 If you joined the union, they'd look after you too. 1.3893 0.03693 280 191 69 20
183 This contraption promises a good knight’s sleep. 1.3893 0.03693 280 191 69 20
184 I'm just saying, you don't need two guards to guard an empty chair. 1.3885 0.03848 278 194 60 24
185 At least they can't call me a sleepless Knight. 1.3869 0.03887 274 192 58 24
186 Damn it! I forgot to go to the bathroom. 1.3869 0.03852 274 191 60 23
187 I can't get into any worse trouble. I've already got my butt in a sling. 1.3866 0.04135 238 166 52 20
188 I slept my way to this cushy job, I see no reason to stop now. 1.3860 0.04297 215 149 49 17
189 You should ask for another pillar. 1.3855 0.03901 262 182 59 21
190 You really ought to join the union. 1.3852 0.03961 270 191 54 25
191 The Hammock Empire, the Hammock Empire, it's just embarrassing, how about the Ottoman Empire? 1.3843 0.04085 268 193 47 28
192 I'm th court rester. 1.3835 0.03930 266 187 56 23
193 Apologize, and The Queen will allow you back in chambers. 1.3826 0.03877 264 184 59 21
194 I told you to join the union. 1.3817 0.03859 262 182 60 20
195 C'mon, just one push. 1.3817 0.04290 262 194 36 32
196 This is his robe. That's why he has no clothes. 1.3817 0.03897 262 183 58 21
197 If His Majesty can go on a working vacation, so can I. 1.3813 0.04026 257 182 52 23
198 Look, we flipped a coin and I got the side with two pillars so get over it, already! 1.3808 0.03840 260 180 61 19
199 Then they shouldn't have put them so close together. 1.3808 0.03682 260 176 69 15
200 Beats hell out of that mattress with the hidden pea! 1.3798 0.04013 258 183 52 23
201 The seat of power was surprisingly uncomfortable. 1.3798 0.03975 258 182 54 22
202 'Get up - it's VIII o'clock.' 1.3789 0.04034 256 182 51 23
203 And then I was just like, "What am I even guarding anymore?" 1.3789 0.03996 256 181 53 22
204 I call it an ergonomic workstation. 1.3789 0.03800 256 176 63 17
205 Your'e, indeed, a well-hung knight, Sir Hammock. 1.3789 0.03718 256 174 67 15
206 The free shipping got me. 1.3789 0.03958 256 180 55 21
207 I said "hassock," you idiot! 1.3780 0.04017 254 180 52 22
208 If you don't tell the King, I won't tell him you're wearing the Queen's Panties. 1.3770 0.04039 252 179 51 22
209 The Siege of Margaritaville hath reaped but meager plunder. 1.3760 0.04292 250 184 38 28
210 I forget. Am I lying down or laying down on the job? 1.3760 0.04061 250 178 50 22
211 He did say "at ease!" 1.3760 0.03816 250 172 62 16
212 You should have joined the Union. 1.3760 0.04100 250 179 48 23
213 Golfing again in Jersey. Wake me up Monday. 1.3760 0.04061 250 178 50 22
214 The queen is my sister, that's why! 1.3750 0.03878 248 172 59 17
215 Someone's been putting peas under all the mattresses. 1.3750 0.03793 248 170 63 15
216 It's called "glamping." 1.3750 0.03836 248 171 61 16
217 It's called a staycation. 1.3740 0.03941 246 172 56 18
218 It's a working vacation. I invented it. 1.3740 0.03856 246 170 60 16
219 Casual Fridays. 1.3740 0.03941 246 172 56 18
220 I'm guarding the hammock, you guard the rest. 1.3730 0.04004 244 172 53 19
221 A bed. A bed. My kingdom for a bed. 1.3730 0.04209 244 177 43 24
222 Has it been 4 years yet? 1.3729 0.04313 236 172 40 24
223 Haven't you heard? We're union now. 1.3719 0.03940 242 169 56 17
224 I think I'll call it la-z-roi 1.3719 0.03896 242 168 58 16
225 Of course my fortune's outrageous. You got the sling and I got the arrow. 1.3686 0.04181 236 170 45 21
226 Don't tell King Hammock about it, he'll take all the credit. 1.3675 0.04291 234 171 40 23
227 Well, I'm not just going to stand there while he's off golfing again! 1.3664 0.04095 232 165 49 18
228 I found this place on Heirbnb.com 1.3664 0.04049 232 164 51 17
229 They do it at Google! 1.3664 0.04360 232 171 37 24
230 Not my fault you only have one column. 1.3640 0.03698 228 154 65 9
231 This helps prevent throne rash. 1.3632 0.04009 223 156 53 14
232 Relax, he’s on the other throne. 1.3628 0.04070 226 160 50 16
233 Can't you see? I've been suspended. 1.3628 0.04070 226 160 50 16
234 I want the King to see that I'm well hung. 1.3616 0.04238 224 162 43 19
235 Send in the queen, I feel like some pillar talk. 1.3604 0.04117 222 158 48 16
236 ? Well it don't mean a thing, if the kings' got no swing,... do whop, do whop, do whop, do whop, do whop. ? 1.3604 0.04358 222 163 38 21
237 It's my turn; you had it during the last siege. 1.3591 0.04141 220 157 47 16
238 No problem. He'll be on the golf course all weekend. 1.3591 0.04141 220 157 47 16
239 Play your cards right and one day you too could be the kings hammock tester. 1.3578 0.04115 218 155 48 15
240 Tell the people I'm power napping. 1.3578 0.05759 109 77 25 7
241 No, I don't feel calm and secure... And I don't want to talk about my mother! 1.3578 0.04266 218 158 42 18
242 Just swing in' in the reign! 1.3578 0.04063 218 154 50 14
243 Don't give me that look... You know how long he takes on his other throne. 1.3578 0.04115 218 155 48 15
244 I'm just swinging in the reign. 1.3565 0.04139 216 154 47 15
245 I swear, if you close your eyes it's like you're in the Bahamas. 1.3565 0.04342 216 158 39 19
246 I'm tired of bending the knee. Now I'm resting the tush. 1.3565 0.04139 216 154 47 15
247 I’m not really in a meeting, that’s just what you tell people. 1.3565 0.04488 216 161 33 22
248 I asked for a ham hock, you imbecile. 1.3551 0.04419 214 158 36 20
249 I was terrified when he first said hang him 1.3551 0.04319 214 156 40 18
250 I'm Union, you're not. Deal with it. 1.3551 0.04319 214 156 40 18
251 I'd get up and switch with you, but you're doing such a great job! 1.3551 0.04163 214 153 46 15
252 “To die, to sleep - To sleep, perchance to dream - ay, there's the rub, For in this sleep of death what dreams may come...” ? William Shakespeare, Hammock (first draft) 1.3542 0.04240 192 135 46 11
253 This isn't exactly what I meant by 'King of Swing.' 1.3538 0.04345 212 155 39 18
254 I’m calling it a "power nap." 1.3538 0.04135 212 151 47 14
255 I'll take the swing shift. 1.3538 0.04294 212 154 41 17
256 Oh, hell, he won't be back from Mar-a-Lago for weeks. 1.3538 0.04294 212 154 41 17
257 Go ahead, sit on the throne! You'll see why I'm in the hammock. 1.3524 0.03991 210 147 52 11
258 It's a perk to attract top talent. There's a sushi bar in the dungeon now, too. 1.3524 0.04267 210 152 42 16
259 I ordered a sling. 1.3524 0.04214 210 151 44 15
260 Befriend the royal architect, get an extra column on your side--simple as that. 1.3512 0.04053 205 144 50 11
261 Just as I suspected, the King swings both ways! 1.3510 0.04453 208 154 35 19
262 They were out of King-sized 1.3510 0.04348 208 152 39 17
263 Wake me when the Dark Ages are over. 1.3495 0.04153 206 147 46 13
264 No . . . I think Claudius said 'Bring unto me Hamlet'. 1.3495 0.04153 206 147 46 13
265 Wenches dig it. 1.3495 0.04153 206 147 46 13
266 I'm working from home today. 1.3483 0.04279 201 145 42 14
267 Our contract only says, “be at his side”. 1.3483 0.03915 201 139 54 8
268 It's just so much better for my hemorrhoids. 1.3480 0.04403 204 150 37 17
269 I'm bunking here while the king is sleeping with my wife. 1.3480 0.04348 204 149 39 16
270 Relax brother. During the last Crusade he was gone for three years. 1.3480 0.04120 204 145 47 12
271 I call it my prone throne 1.3480 0.04120 204 145 47 12
272 Wake me when the whores arrive. 1.3480 0.04721 204 156 25 23
273 Oh come on Elwood, she won't be back for hours. Call me 'Your Highness' and peel me a grape. 1.3474 0.04449 190 138 38 14
274 I'm just not sure I like working the swing shift. 1.3467 0.04536 199 148 33 18
275 He's off searching for his moral compass. 1.3467 0.04307 199 144 41 14
276 I plundered it from the flea market. 1.3452 0.04393 197 144 38 15
277 Just one push, Max, and straighten the rug before the King comes back! 1.3436 0.04239 195 140 43 12
278 Would it kill you to hum a lullaby? 1.3436 0.04655 195 147 29 19
279 The Queen snores. 1.3420 0.04571 193 144 32 17
280 It comes when you upgrade to a second pillar. 1.3420 0.04072 193 136 48 9
281 Hey, YOU try sitting for hours on that thing with a bad back! 1.3420 0.04329 193 140 40 13
282 "Hark" once if you see the king and twice if I start snoring. 1.3403 0.04163 191 136 45 10
283 Morning Hun... 1.3403 0.04419 191 140 37 14
284 Well, it's not my fault you don't have another pillar on your side. 1.3403 0.04293 191 138 41 12
285 Well, I don't intend to wait eight centuries for memory foam. 1.3386 0.04449 189 139 36 14
286 Yes, a perfect opportunity for a good knight's sleep. 1.3386 0.04512 189 140 34 15
287 You go on. I'd rather remember him with his head. 1.3386 0.04255 189 136 42 11
288 I dunno why they say "Uneasy lies the head of state" -- this thing is very comfy! 1.3386 0.03910 189 131 52 6
289 We changed repeal and replace with rest and relax. 1.3371 0.04499 178 130 36 12
290 Yes, Geoffrey. My argument for a load-bearing pillar did have selfish designs. 1.3369 0.04076 187 132 47 8
291 Well then whats the point of the extra column?? 1.3369 0.03932 187 130 51 6
292 Yes, thank you, Harold, a cup of Sleepytime tea WOULD be nice. 1.3369 0.04543 187 139 33 15
293 HR says I've accrued too many vacation days. 1.3369 0.04414 187 137 37 13
294 I can do this job in my sleep. 1.3369 0.04004 187 131 49 7
295 "You go ahead and start the pillaging and carnage without me, I think I'm coming down with a plague or something"! 1.3333 0.04671 183 138 29 16
296 They said I could either bow the knee or hang. 1.3333 0.04474 183 135 35 13
297 I wîsh I had two pillars.... 1.3315 0.03762 181 124 54 3
298 I see you've been on Amazon again. 1.3315 0.04366 181 132 38 11
299 They allow it at Google. 1.3315 0.04295 181 131 40 10
300 Why stand when you can sit and why sit when you can lie down? 1.3315 0.04366 181 132 38 11
301 Too bad you didn't join the union. 1.3315 0.04627 178 133 31 14
302 Last I heard he's in Palm Beach, he thinks this castle is a dump 1.3315 0.04828 178 136 25 17
303 Let me know if the cameras get switched back on. 1.3315 0.04119 178 126 45 7
304 The King said hang around and guard the castle and by god that is what I intend to do! 1.3315 0.04041 178 125 47 6
305 I swear we're safe. He can't play 18 holes on a public course in under six hours. 1.3315 0.04487 178 131 35 12
306 I invented it for a good knight's sleep. 1.3315 0.04416 178 130 37 11
307 I just couldn't handle the commute anymore. 1.3314 0.04576 169 124 34 11
308 Why else would they place two pillars this close together 1.3276 0.04089 174 123 45 6
309 I suppose if I had another pillar, I'd do the same. 1.3276 0.04007 174 122 47 5
310 Look l'm the Monarch rising from his cocoon! 1.3276 0.04169 174 124 43 7
311 Thrones, impressive but no lumbar support. 1.3256 0.04276 172 124 40 8
312 The king ordered you to bring him a ham hock, you fool! 1.3256 0.04583 172 128 32 12
313 We plundered this? 1.3256 0.04583 172 128 32 12
314 "Are you sure this is a King size"? 1.3235 0.04616 170 127 31 12
315 Serf's up, dude! 1.3235 0.04837 170 130 25 15
316 I serve at the king's leisure. 1.3235 0.04462 170 125 35 10
317 Relax. He's at the royal golf course again. 1.3235 0.04384 170 124 37 9
318 Did you hear "off to his bed" or "off with his head?" 1.3235 0.04462 170 125 35 10
319 When the king gets home, your butt's in a sling. 1.3235 0.04690 170 128 29 13
320 Relax. He's out in Bedminster for the whole weekend. 1.3235 0.04540 170 126 33 11
321 Because there's only one pillar on your side, that's why! 1.3235 0.04222 170 122 41 7
322 "My Kingdom for some hemmoroidal cream"! 1.3235 0.04616 170 127 31 12
323 Budget cuts affect everybody. 1.3235 0.04138 170 121 43 6
324 It wasn't until after we bought the throne that we realized there was no room left in the budget for a bed. 1.3235 0.04540 170 126 33 11
325 Wake me when he is impeached. 1.3193 0.04837 166 127 25 14
326 I'm the King, I can't go camping. 1.3193 0.04360 166 121 37 8
327 It's called a staycation. 1.3190 0.04497 163 120 34 9
328 The throne comes with too much responsibility. 1.3190 0.04663 163 122 30 11
329 When they said it was a 24 hour job, l didn't realize they meant in a row. 1.3190 0.04663 163 122 30 11
330 He's wrong. The throne is much more comfortable. 1.3190 0.04497 163 120 34 9
331 Things, including break time, are so much better since we unionized. 1.3190 0.04412 163 119 36 8
332 Don't worry. I superglued that sword into the stone. 1.3190 0.04497 163 120 34 9
333 Summon the royal psychoanalyst 1.3190 0.04581 163 121 32 10
334 What? Did you think every royal caterpillar emerges as a butterfly! 1.3190 0.04412 163 119 36 8
335 It was only $3.99 on Amazon, including delivery! 1.3168 0.04529 161 119 33 9
336 I won't stand on ceremony. 1.3168 0.04698 161 121 29 11
337 I'm calling this the alt-throne! 1.3168 0.04939 161 124 23 14
338 I'm sorry! It's not my fault that your side doesn't have two pillars. 1.3168 0.04443 161 118 35 8
339 Well, I say there IS a dragon under my bed. 1.3168 0.04529 161 119 33 9
340 Because his highness said there is nothing better than a good knight's rest. 1.3168 0.04354 161 117 37 7
341 It's called an "ergonomic workspace." 1.3168 0.04779 161 122 27 12
342 No, I'm sleeping NEAR the job... 1.3168 0.04354 161 117 37 7
343 It's still no use, but try reading me the Magna Carta again. 1.3168 0.04614 161 120 31 10
344 I'm tired of hearing you tell everyone who comes by that I'm on the throne. 1.3161 0.04822 155 117 27 11
345 I am standing guard. Don't be so literal. 1.3145 0.04474 159 117 34 8
346 What time do the Crusades begin? 1.3121 0.04505 157 116 33 8
347 It's in our union contract. 1.3121 0.04413 157 115 35 7
348 wake me if you hear trumpets 1.3121 0.04595 157 117 31 9
349 You stand guard and I'll relax guard. 1.3121 0.04769 157 119 27 11
350 Sometimes I just need to remember why it is good to be the king. 1.3121 0.04505 157 116 33 8
351 So I thought, "As long as I'm between posts, why not relax?" 1.3117 0.04833 154 117 26 11
352 Donald Trump is a jackass. 1.3072 0.05430 153 124 11 18
353 When the king's away, the guards will sway. 1.3072 0.04844 153 117 25 11
354 It was a lateral move. 1.3072 0.04377 153 112 35 6
355 Well, if you must ask, the queen snores. 1.3072 0.04570 153 114 31 8
356 It's safe to come out now, Your Majesty--the spider's dead 1.3072 0.04844 153 117 25 11
357 It's perfect for my power nap. 1.3072 0.04754 153 116 27 10
358 Might as well. King Donald is going to fire us anyway. 1.3072 0.05018 153 119 21 13
359 So the Ottomans can't reach me. 1.3072 0.04754 153 116 27 10
360 You should have joined the Union. 1.3067 0.04432 150 110 34 6
361 My kingdom for a piña colada! 1.3067 0.05001 150 116 22 12
362 Relax. He's in the bathroom on Twitter. 1.3067 0.05090 150 117 20 13
363 Well, how do you define "at ease..."? 1.3067 0.05001 150 116 22 12
364 I was told to man my posts. 1.3067 0.04911 150 115 24 11
365 I used up all my vacation days 1.3067 0.04725 150 113 28 9
366 I don't think that is what the King meant by stringing you up. 1.3067 0.04725 150 113 28 9
367 He won't be in for another hour, He was up all night Tweeting. 1.3067 0.04911 150 115 24 11
368 Yes, but I know his dirty little secret. 1.3067 0.04725 150 113 28 9
369 Millennials find sovereign rulers in high-back thrones less accessible. 1.3067 0.05090 150 117 20 13
370 I'll probably hang for this 1.3067 0.04911 150 115 24 11
371 I'd prefer one with a memory foam mattress. 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
372 It's part of the corporate stress reduction program. 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
373 If he comes back, we'll say it's a new catapult that we're testing. 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
374 Just don't stand there, give me a push! 1.3041 0.04761 148 112 27 9
375 Because "The Game of Thrones" was already taken. That's why. 1.3014 0.04991 146 113 22 11
376 So, I see that you've been on Amazon again. 1.3007 0.04659 143 107 29 7
377 I'm not to leave my post! 1.2986 0.04631 144 108 29 7
378 This is not a vacation - meetings and calls!.....Working Hard. 1.2986 0.04631 144 108 29 7
379 It's really difficult to find pillars close enough together around here. 1.2979 0.04358 141 103 34 4
380 I'm practicing for our siege at Mar-e-Lago 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
381 We also set up a slackline in the dungeon. 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
382 Cry hammock! And let sleep the dogs of war. 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
383 I don't think that what the king meant when he said you'll hang for it. 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
384 You're knight and I'm knight knight. 1.2950 0.05152 139 109 19 11
385 If those are the Saxons knocking, I'm not here. 1.2950 0.04504 139 103 31 5
386 Relax, it's casual Friday. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
387 This is my idea of going from pillar to post. 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
388 I get up to use the throne at night. 1.2950 0.05049 139 108 21 10
389 If anyone calls, tell them I'm working remotely. 1.2950 0.04838 139 106 25 8
390 Three weeks later, Gary still wouldn't shut up about his vacation to the Bahamas. 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
391 Yes, I'm well-hung. 1.2950 0.05152 139 109 19 11
392 This way I don't have to wear pants. 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
393 It still doesn't feel like a tropical getaway. 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
394 C'mon, just a little push to get me going! 1.2920 0.04766 137 104 26 7
395 I'm exploring new master-servant paradigms. 1.2920 0.04535 137 102 30 5
396 I'm out of sick days, OK? 1.2920 0.04535 137 102 30 5
397 It's why I chose the side with two pillars. 1.2920 0.04034 137 98 38 1
398 That throne just kills my back. 1.2920 0.04652 137 103 28 6
399 What’s the matter--haven’t you ever had hemorrhoids? 1.2889 0.04803 135 103 25 7
400 I love our 'alert guard, relaxed guard' dynamic. 1.2889 0.05028 135 105 21 9
401 Wake me when its the Reformation 1.2889 0.04567 135 101 29 5
402 He went to see Cersei. It's going to be awhile. 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
403 I do my best autocratic thinking here. 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
404 Wake up call for Sir Lounge-A-Lot! 1.2889 0.04803 135 103 25 7
405 What's your sleep number? 1.2889 0.05028 135 105 21 9
406 You mind tossing me that pillow? 1.2889 0.05243 135 107 17 11
407 Sometimes, it is easy being king. 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
408 Remember, the signal is, "The royal hammock tester is almost through, Your Majesty." 1.2889 0.04318 135 99 33 3
409 I needed a vacation. 1.2889 0.05936 135 114 3 18
410 Dude! You chose the side with one column, so don't fucken blame me. 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
411 They call it a hammock. I call it work/life balance 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
412 The Crown did promise a safe and comfortable workplace environment 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
413 You just don't know what it's like to be a Millennial in 1017. 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
414 It's okay, I have a note from my apothecary. 1.2857 0.04474 133 99 30 4
415 If that's his highness's cape, you're one dead guard. 1.2857 0.04957 133 103 22 8
416 Are the Dark Ages over? 1.2857 0.04474 133 99 30 4
417 Judge me all you want - I'm the one who isn't doing the morning commute. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
418 Don't worry...it's just until he returns from his "it's not a vacation." 1.2857 0.04957 133 103 22 8
419 I'm working the knight-shift, again. 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
420 She would've laughed if the court jester had said it. 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
421 It's my safe place. 1.2846 0.05149 130 102 19 9
422 'Don't let my subjects know that I swing both ways' 1.2846 0.04663 130 98 27 5
423 I'm on swing shift. 1.2846 0.05264 130 103 17 10
424 Hey. Might as well. Next week I have to be the wine taster. 1.2846 0.04663 130 98 27 5
425 If anyone asks, I'm planning an invasion while strengthening my core. 1.2846 0.04663 130 98 27 5
426 We changed repeal and replace with rest and relax. 1.2846 0.05032 130 101 21 8
427 If you know what's good for you, you'll put that tapestry back on the wall! 1.2846 0.04663 130 98 27 5
428 I call it 'swing shift'. 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
429 All you need now is a copy of The Old Yorker. 1.2812 0.05195 128 101 18 9
430 Uneasy lies the throne. 1.2812 0.04953 128 99 22 7
431 I'm not worried, these crusades go on forever - the King won't be back for months. 1.2812 0.05075 128 100 20 8
432 Wake me when he's back from Mar-a-Lago. 1.2812 0.05195 128 101 18 9
433 I'm working the knight shift. 1.2812 0.05075 128 100 20 8
434 Do you ever feel like you're not living up to your full potential? 1.2812 0.05075 128 100 20 8
435 Wake me up after the Dark Ages. 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
436 I probably should put some pants on 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
437 Has it been four years yet? 1.2812 0.04827 128 98 24 6
438 Yeah, well right now this hammock is the greater part of valor. 1.2812 0.05075 128 100 20 8
439 Wake me up when this monarchy ends. 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
440 I said, "Cry HAVOC," you idiot. 1.2812 0.05312 128 102 16 10
441 He's not coming back. I saw it on Twitter. 1.2812 0.05075 128 100 20 8
442 Hold my calls. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
443 Give us a push, love. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
444 While the king's away, the knights will sway. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
445 Can you see if he's got any cigars behind the throne there? 1.2778 0.05242 126 100 17 9
446 If the king comes in, be sure to tell my wife I loved her. 1.2778 0.05242 126 100 17 9
447 Toss me that pillow. 1.2778 0.05362 126 101 15 10
448 I'm the hangman. 1.2778 0.05242 126 100 17 9
449 The hard part is installing the second pillar 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
450 You expect me to sleep on the job standing up? 1.2778 0.04597 126 95 27 4
451 You're new here, aren't you. 1.2778 0.05119 126 99 19 8
452 My guess is you're new on the night shift? 1.2778 0.05119 126 99 19 8
453 What is REI? 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
454 What? My kids bought it for me for Father's Day. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
455 Our fate swings in the balance. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
456 Is the queen smiling this morning? 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
457 Listen, technically, the job description said, "good knight"... 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
458 Look , it was either pay my health care premium or pay my rent. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
459 I'm lazy? He hasn't conquered anyone in decades. 1.2764 0.04210 123 90 32 1
460 Well, if you change your mind, there's plenty of room for two. 1.2764 0.05452 123 99 14 10
461 You're making hammockery of the throne. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
462 Retirement benefits kick in with abdication. 1.2742 0.04485 124 93 28 3
463 Just jingle your chainmail a little if you hear him coming back. 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
464 How about a push? 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
465 I'm on vacation. 1.2727 0.04839 121 93 23 5
466 This place is a dump. I can't believe Castle Advisor gave it 4.7 stars. 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
467 It was left over from last year's alt history play, Henry VIII Conquers the South Pacific 1.2727 0.05378 121 97 15 9
468 Wake me up when it's your turn. 1.2727 0.04839 121 93 23 5
469 I favor hanging. 1.2727 0.05378 121 97 15 9
470 We do things a little differently on swing shift. 1.2727 0.04839 121 93 23 5
471 I said to order ham hocks! 1.2727 0.05116 121 95 19 7
472 I really don't know what to call it, Sir Hammock, but it's pretty comfortable. 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
473 He owes me tons of overtime. 1.2689 0.05559 119 97 12 10
474 Don't just stand there, start pushing! 1.2689 0.05021 119 93 20 6
475 Relax he's at Mar-a-lago. 1.2689 0.05429 119 96 14 9
476 Could you sing me the lullaby about the barbarians and the visigoths? 1.2689 0.05161 119 94 18 7
477 Without these power naps, I don't know how I'd ever be able to work the knight shift. 1.2689 0.05161 119 94 18 7
478 I asked for ham-hocks, not hammocks. 1.2689 0.04575 119 90 26 3
479 It don't please the king if you don't leave that swing. Do wop, do wop, do wop, do wop, do. 1.2689 0.05559 119 97 12 10
480 Don't just stand there, give me a little push. 1.2689 0.04877 119 92 22 5
481 We strike...mañana. 1.2689 0.04877 119 92 22 5
482 No...Court Rester. Better hours and I never run out of material. 1.2689 0.05297 119 95 16 8
483 Que l'histoire sache, Napoléon n'a pas abdiqué. Il a été suspendu! 1.2689 0.04877 119 92 22 5
484 Don't give me that uneasy lies the head line. Just bring me another pillow. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
485 What? I'm a free-lancer. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
486 When the King is away, this guard will sway! 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
487 I love weekends. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
488 I like it when you sing that song about rowing a boat. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
489 They also serve who only lie and wait. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
490 Please turn your head. I'm gonna try to get out of this thing. 1.2672 0.04640 116 88 25 3
491 I really miss the crusades and all those nights outside under the moon and the stars. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
492 The first Staycation. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
493 I just had a horrible dream. What if people only like me because I am king? 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
494 If Millenials stood guard. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
495 This sure beats crusading. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
496 I just thought, if we're going to be a banana republic... 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
497 You can test the food. I'll test the hammock. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
498 Because I'm high strung. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
499 If the King's away, they hammock will sway. 1.2672 0.05387 116 93 15 8
500 Wait, the king said we had to be prepared to LIE for him? 1.2672 0.05525 116 94 13 9
501 She said 'ham hocks'? Bloody helmets! 1.2632 0.05439 114 92 14 8
502 Look at me...I'm "sir lounge-alot!" 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
503 Tell them I'm serfing. 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
504 If you post this on social media you are dead meat. 1.2632 0.04671 114 87 24 3
505 Frank, be honest. Do I make this hammock sag too much? 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
506 Don't just stand there, give me a push! 1.2589 0.05492 112 91 13 8
507 We need to replace that runner. 1.2589 0.05492 112 91 13 8
508 Nighty knight. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
509 Yes, Game of Hammocks because that other name is taken. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
510 I'm on swing shift this week. 1.2589 0.04871 112 87 21 4
511 Well, I'm not the one up for annual review. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
512 Where in the manual does it say I must 'stand' at my post? 1.2589 0.04347 112 84 27 1
513 It's casual friday. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
514 I like a short commute. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
515 Do you even know what 'anachronism' means? 1.2589 0.04871 112 87 21 4
516 The throne is hard on my hemorrhoids 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
517 Stand-up workstations are overrated. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
518 You are SO not getting ‘Employee of the Month’! 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
519 I slept my way to the top. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
520 It's a Hammocker Schlemmer original. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
521 I won't tell anyone the king has died if you won't. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
522 He really is the king of swing. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
523 This castle, what a dump. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
524 Since you're up, mind handing me that pillow? 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
525 We are pleasantly surprised, but this is not what we were envisioning when the crowd told you to 'string him up.' 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
526 Why do you think I request guard duty on the side with two pillars? 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
527 Have you ever had one of those days where you just say 'what the heck.' 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
528 May I recommend a standing desk as a compromise? 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
529 To heir is human, to fuck off supine. 1.2569 0.05888 109 91 8 10
530 I prefer to approach concerns with an attitude of relaxed awareness. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
531 While this is quite amusing, tell my attendants I said ham hock. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
532 It was easier getting in. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
533 did you remember to lock the drawbridge? 1.2523 0.05327 107 86 15 6
534 The reason two of us guard the throne is in case one of us falls asleep. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
535 Seriously. This time I really did hear the king's trumpets. 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
536 Sing me something soft and tender. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
537 Wake me up when Game of Thrones comes on 1.2523 0.05327 107 86 15 6
538 The Crusades, the Plague - all we can manage this summer is a staycation. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
539 Don't leave in case I can't get out of this. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
540 Get me one of those pillows off the big gaudy chair, won't you? 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
541 I'm giving this Air Bed and Castle only one star. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
542 Run out and see if the revolution is over. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
543 You think this is what he meant when he said, "String him up'? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
544 Because I'm cranky if I don't get my nap. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
545 I don't see what the peasants are on about, hanging is quite nice! 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
546 Why else would they have put this pillar here? 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
547 I was working late last night; so, I just decided to sleep in the office. 1.2500 0.05592 104 85 12 7
548 Just pretend that everything is normal when he enters. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
549 HGTV called. They want to know if you are going to Love It or List It... 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
550 By the time he's done with his seven wives, I'd have caught me forty winks. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
551 Let go. I got the side with two columns and you didn't. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
552 Trust me, I know for a fact he went on a "Crusade"he won't be back till next month. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
553 What?! It was a gift from Columbus! 1.2500 0.05592 104 85 12 7
554 I don't want the responsibility that goes with that big chair! 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
555 This summer it's all about looking alert, yet relaxed. 1.2500 0.05592 104 85 12 7
556 Cry HAMMOCK and unleash the dogs of war! 1.2500 0.05592 104 85 12 7
557 I don't care. I'm not gonna stand here all day guarding an empty chair. Get me another beer. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
558 It's called a working vacation. 1.2500 0.05757 104 86 10 8
559 If I have to go, I'm going out swinging. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
560 Give me a heads-up when he's on the 18th tee. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
561 Because I'm the one who convinced the Queen that trumpeters should announce her return. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
562 It facilitates a more comfortable and pleasing recumbent posture, ergonomically speaking. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
563 Not doing my job? I urge you to consider both sides. 1.2500 0.05592 104 85 12 7
564 I'm assuming this is what she meant by 'you're sleeping on the couch tonight'. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
565 It was either this or a standing desk. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
566 Didn't you hear the edict about Casual Fridays? 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
567 ...and make that a gin-and-tonic instead of mead. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
568 L'etat c'est meow. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
569 Does it have to be a round table or can we all fit in the hammock? 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
570 I don't care if it's all the rage in Paris; help me out of this bloody thing! 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
571 It's 'hanging' very well, thank you. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
572 dos cervezas, por favor. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
573 I asked Alexa to reorder the ham hocks! 1.2451 0.05649 102 84 11 7
574 For the umpteenth time, will you stop humming 'Rock-a-bye, baby'? 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
575 How long you been standing there? 1.2451 0.05818 102 85 9 8
576 If I only could get two columns on my side too. 1.2451 0.04501 102 78 23 1
577 I had a dream about you. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
578 A hammock makes this such a cool fort! 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
579 I think the ad for hangman referred to a different type of hanging and swinging... 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
580 It's not my fault there's two columns on this side. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
581 So what? Everyone else is abandoning him. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
582 Arthur's cape is missing. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
583 I'm tired of bending the knee. I'm resting the tush. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
584 It's because you only have one column 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
585 They're binge-watching Game of Thrones in the barracks, so I'm crashing here. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
586 Uneasy lies the tush. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
587 Hey, check this out...contains eco-friendly memory foam, cooling gel, and organic cotton. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
588 Quickly....he's coming and my legs have fallen asleep! 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
589 Relax, he spends most of his time golfing and then goes back to the tower. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
590 His head might lie uneasy, but mine is very relaxed. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
591 I'm starting to think about myself more. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
592 Do you really think he'll notice? 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
593 Relax. He'll be on the golf course for hours. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
594 I have a better chance at 'Game of Hammocks.' 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
595 Are you the one who leaked that I'm abdicating the throne due to hemorrhoids? 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
596 The seat of power is a royal pain in the ass. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
597 I'll be working remotely today. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
598 Good luck convincing the King that your weight is keeping the columns straight. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
599 I'm still not ready to take the throne. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
600 First tobacco, now this: who are these avant-garde Indians? 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
601 Remember how you laughed when I decided to join the union? We'll, who's laughing now? 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
602 We call it The Staycation. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
603 What? I just wanted to try it. Now help me outa this damn thing before he comes back! 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
604 Oh Come on! What are the odds a siege happens by day? 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
605 Al, I had the most horrific nightmare. In the distant future, in a land far, far away, where the king's descendants lived, an evil called 45 rose to power and set out to destroy all that was good. 1.2400 0.06215 100 86 4 10
606 TELL TRUMP I'M BUSY... 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
607 Well, don't just stand there, push! 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
608 Must be nice to be his son. 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
609 Do you ever get the feeling you're being set up to fail? 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
610 He's golfing in New Jersey. 1.2371 0.05820 97 81 9 7
611 My new Chief of Staff said I should be less pompous. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
612 So, you're new to the swing shift? 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
613 You know, I kind of like this new, Laissez-Faire economic thing. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
614 That cross-moat commute was killing me. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
615 Game of Hammocks is so much less stressful than Thrones. 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
616 I've just invented the Working Vacation. 1.2371 0.04341 97 74 23 0
617 He can't be a king if he ain't got no swing 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
618 I need to use the throne. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
619 Can you get me an umbrella drink and make some ocean noises? 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
620 This is why you should always guard the side with two pillars. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
621 Just hand me the pillow. No one has to know. 1.2371 0.05820 97 81 9 7
622 It beats the commute. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
623 I think I tweet better over here. 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
624 You're seeing the benefits of insider information. 1.2371 0.05820 97 81 9 7
625 What's the problem? He's at his golf club for the weekend! 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
626 One day they will say, "And the rest is history". 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
627 It’s a working vacation. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
628 You just need to get a note from your alchemist. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
629 We've been thinking constitutional monarchy. Or a dog. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
630 Wake me when the Dragons get here. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
631 Relax. The King's gone off on one of his crusades. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
632 They told me to work swing shift this week. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
633 And I'm not wearing shoes, either. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
634 Captain Hammock; I'm trying to think of a name for my new invention. Any suggestions? 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
635 I think someone has been eating crackers in my hammock. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
636 I'm making myself comfortable, Game Of Thrones comes on at 9 o'clock! 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
637 Yes, well, as they say, "you don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate." 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
638 Democracy is just a phase, I'm waiting it out. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
639 Ah, that's better! The royal throne plays havoc with my haemorrhoids. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
640 Is the reign over? 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
641 'It's OK, but I really wanted wireless.' 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
642 Hey Frank, I think I can see my hovel from here. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
643 Seems small for a King Sized bed. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
644 Do you have the WiFi password? 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
645 He did say "slings and arrows", right? 1.2316 0.05689 95 79 10 6
646 You question my work ethic, yet I was the one with the initiative to install this. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
647 Call me Hammock, Prince of Denmark. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
648 I miss the tiki torches, too, your Highness, but we simply can't be associated with them any more. 1.2316 0.05689 95 79 10 6
649 Heavy may be the head that wears the crown, but bendy is the back that lies a-hammock. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
650 If you like the napping pods, you'll love the free cafeteria and onsite laundry service. 1.2316 0.05883 95 80 8 7
651 I'm trying to sleep my way to the top. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
652 The throne pulls out to a king-size. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
653 Could you pipe in the groans from the dungeon for a little white noise? 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
654 I wanted hemlock. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
655 Better get down before the king goes medieval on you! 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
656 Look, he's only here for proclamations of tax increases and beheadings and I've got bunions. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
657 My turn! 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
658 It's not as plush as it looks. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
659 The trees in Birnham Wood kept moving. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
660 He doesn't care for Leroy. He prefers Le Roi. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
661 He used to have trees, but they were used to launch the rocket to Mesopatamia. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
662 I'm not sleeping, I'm just resting my thighs. 1.2316 0.05883 95 80 8 7
663 Wake me if they invent Twitter. 1.2316 0.05689 95 79 10 6
664 Being lulled into complacency and dependence sounds good to me. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
665 My therapist tells me I'm bipolar. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
666 King said I was to hang, so I did. 1.2292 0.04312 96 74 22 0
667 I’m on the swing shift. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
668 Wake me up when you hear the bugles 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
669 The throne of power is hard on the buttocks. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
670 You'll find the role of second spear carrier is very demanding. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
671 Look, feel free to go 'wreak havoc' if you want, but I know what I heard. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
672 It's the farthest thing from insolence. It's called a staycation. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
673 The spacing between these columns screamed for a hammock. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
674 Thrones are so pretentious 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
675 My wife suggested we try swinging so I thought I'd give it a try alone first. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
676 But Airr bnb said this would be a double hammock. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
677 Hamlet? I thought you said "hammock." 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
678 Remember, when the rebels come, I'm just one of the guards. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
679 I miss Daddy 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
680 I think you're taking "At Ease" too literally... 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
681 Spear me that pillow, won't you, mate? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
682 Beats the dog house. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
683 They asked me to work the swing shift this week. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
684 Okay, I'll admit: sometimes easy lies the head that wears the crown. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
685 Swing me. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
686 Would you mind asking the executioner to quiet down the quartering? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
687 Well Dan, I hope you've finally figured out why I argued for the side with the TWO columns. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
688 "New Royal Decree--'Thou shalt achieve work-life balance'". 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
689 Another difficult knight. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
690 I shall henceforth be known as the Sultan of Swing. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
691 This austerity budget sucks! 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
692 "Our new minimalist throne is both lightweight and versatile." —www.modernthrones.com 1.2283 0.06007 92 78 7 7
693 You'd think power is comfortable, but its not. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
694 Can you get me my beer? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
695 Wake me up when Game of Thrones starts 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
696 You know he said to bring him a ham hock, right? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
697 Yeah, he thinks I'm loyal. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
698 Who says, "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown?" 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
699 My kingdom for a chaise longue. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
700 When the patent comes through I'm outta here! 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
701 Well, he told me to make myself at home. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
702 They said "Game of Hammocks" just didn't fly with the network. 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
703 don't worry. It's the hundred yearas war. He won't be back for a while. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
704 This is not what I imagined when they offered me the King Suite Upgrade. 1.2283 0.06007 92 78 7 7
705 Comfy is the head that wears the crown. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
706 I told you the union dues would pay off. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
707 I told him I'd hang myself. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
708 Hamlet you fool, not Hammock! 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
709 I said havoc, not hammock! 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
710 Are the White House renovations done yet? 1.2222 0.05865 90 76 8 6
711 Relax! He'll be impeached any day now. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
712 Heavy lies the eyelids that protect the crown. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
713 Push you where, your Grace? 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
714 I knew to ask for two columns. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
715 Wake me when the dark age is over. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
716 Air b & b said the spear was included. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
717 Wake me when he's abdicated! 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
718 If I was able to get out of this thing, I could have saved him. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
719 The Queen had a headache last night. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
720 For the last time, it was a gift! 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
721 I thought I traded for a ham hock. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
722 I'm a lover, not a fighter. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
723 It may be a crusade for him but it's a bloody vacation for us! 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
724 Like your idea for a 'fit desk' was any better. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
725 Under new kingdom negotiations, we get 15 minute rest breaks every 4 hours while on duty. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
726 Would you like a mai-tai and your ukulele my liege? 1.2222 0.05865 90 76 8 6
727 It's lonely on the throne. That's why I'm over here. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
728 Wake me when The Crusades are over. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
729 Wake me in time for the Renaissance. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
730 ...and then I turn in to a beautiful butterfly. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
731 I'm just getting into the swing of things! 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
732 Since I started smoking medical marijuana, I just feel better chillin' here. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
733 I'd rather hang out here. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
734 It was this or a standing desk. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
735 ...And ask the carpenter to make a tiny umbrella to put in my tankard of mead... 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
736 The Iron Throne is a pain in the ass 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
737 I am in a working vacation 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
738 Tell the queen I'm sorry. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
739 The union refereth to this as "casual duty". 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
740 Perrchance to swing. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
741 Wake me for the Renaissance. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
742 I know I'm back, but I'm not REALLY back yet. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
743 Ok, you get it tomorrow, before the king comes back. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
744 Though oughtst unionize as well, my good sir 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
745 Wake me when the regime changes. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
746 Haven't you heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder? 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
747 I'm the King's dream taster. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
748 Look, it takes him forever to conquer anything, so you can stand guard all you want and I'll do it my way, okay? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
749 Havoc? 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
750 The only thing I want to know is how you moved that marble column by yourself. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
751 Nepotism is a beautiful thing! 1.2184 0.06210 87 75 5 7
752 At last, a job with benefits. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
753 I Guess I'll Call It A Knight. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
754 Tell the queen that she wins! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
755 Might as well make the most of the interregnum. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
756 Serf's up. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
757 Help! I've laineth and I can't get uppeth! 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
758 knight, knight. sleep tight. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
759 Wake me up when you hear the toilet flush. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
760 A surprisingly risky job--hammock tester for the king 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
761 Alas, the missus kicked me out again. 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
762 He hasn't been to this castle in five years. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
763 After twenty years, IF you play yor cards right you might rate a second column too. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
764 My kingdom for an Arnie Palmer! 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
765 I think the king is really onto something with this talk therapy thing. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
766 I bet you regret telling the architect that you didn't need two columns. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
767 When the King told us to go ahead and set up camp, he didn't mean in here. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
768 Now, be sure to wake me before the coup begins. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
769 Now you know why I wanted the right side. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
770 Forget about the Queen today. I closely guarded her all last night. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
771 I'll joust you for it. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
772 the king's been looking for that robe. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
773 I'm more comfortable, but it feels less kingly. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
774 OK, OK already. Next week you can be the guard this side. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
775 Guard duty on the swing shift does have it's perks. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
776 Because I just got tired of standing guard! 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
777 And turn out the lights when you leave. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
778 He won't mind: He's a merry old soul. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
779 You're right, my sciatica does feel better. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
780 Don't worry about it; just tell him I'm indisposed. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
781 While the king's away, the guard will sway! 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
782 I can't get out. Hang the hammock salesman! 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
783 Hey, toss me that pillow on the throne, will ya? 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
784 I know how it looks Roland, but thrones are so last year. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
785 Wake me when he gets back from the White House. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
786 Is that how you intend to wait out the Reformation? 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
787 For me, it's the swing shifts that are so tiring. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
788 I dare you to take a selfie on the throne. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
789 While the king's away... 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
790 When the king's away, the guards will sway. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
791 Hammock, you say? I don't get it, but I like it. I really like it. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
792 Staycation 1.2143 0.06123 84 72 6 6
793 He's gonna fire us anyway 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
794 The king's not the only one who can take a working vacation. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
795 The doctor said I need to stay off my feet 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
796 King Hammurabi's lesser known cousin, King Hammock-Rabi, never finished writing his code because he kept falling asleep. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
797 What? It's the only rational thing to do when no one's around. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
798 But tonight he says, 'I'm troubled by that third pillar,' as if it was the first he'd heard of it.' 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
799 Uneasy lies the butt that naps here. 1.2143 0.04504 84 66 18 0
800 I thought this is what you did during the knight shift. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
801 Harold grew troubled when the King relaxed his guard 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
802 Tell my subjects that I'm taking a working vacation. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
803 I'm not moving unless I see all three dragons. 1.2143 0.05885 84 71 8 5
804 I asked for a ham hock, not a hammock. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
805 And to all a Good Knight. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
806 Wake me up when twitter is back online 1.2143 0.06123 84 72 6 6
807 Big deal. I hear the castles out West have volleyball courts and free massages. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
808 Every man cave needs a hammock! 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
809 I've never been able to take a power nap on the throne! 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
810 Yep, you're definitely next in line. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
811 I asked for bed rest for my bone spur, but HR said I had to stay on duty. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
812 You should consider joining the Palace Guards Union. 1.2143 0.05885 84 71 8 5
813 It's technically not sleeping 'on' post. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
814 Well, do you know Hush Little Baby? 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
815 I'm adopting a lazy fair form of government. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
816 Yes, it's comfortable. It's just not 'fit for a king.' 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
817 Don't you love Obama Care? 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
818 Now the realtors can count it as a bedroom. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
819 Grab me that pillow from His Majesty's throne, will you? 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
820 My kingdom for a mai tai! 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
821 Don't worry, he's at Mar-a-Lago 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
822 Cut your power nap short, I hear foot steps 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
823 His Highness swings. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
824 It keeps my head from getting too heavy. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
825 Wake me when Birnam Wood comes to Dunsinane. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
826 You know, the Game of Hammocks just doesn't feel quite right. 1.2073 0.05945 82 70 7 5
827 night watchman's a good gig. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
828 I mean, if he were here that would be one thing. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
829 This graveyard shift is killing me. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
830 REI was having a sale 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
831 Hey, Fred. Can you pass me that pillow? 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
832 I'm thinking about getting a van. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
833 It's our generals, sire, here to explain why they've lost all your wars. 1.2073 0.06193 82 71 5 6
834 You will never earn respect unless you use the throne. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
835 The Mad King would have never granted your wish for such a work accommodation. Long live the new King! 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
836 I get better service by the window. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
837 Company culture has really improved since last century. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
838 If he doesn't want to pay for overtime, I'm not guarding his throne. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
839 I had a nightmare I worked at one of his jousting resorts. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
840 Check out my new invention...it's called the LaZLord! 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
841 I'm having trouble getting used to Casual Fiefdays. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
842 The directions said, "First, find two columns" 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
843 I'm working on a sequel to 'Game of Thrones'. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
844 I suddenly feel like Piña Colada ... whatever the hell that is. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
845 Can you put on a little Beethoven? 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
846 I'm taking a staycation. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
847 Relax! The King will never know! He hasn't the foggiest what airbnb is. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
848 If the Queen sends for me, tell her I'm planning my next invasion and can't be interrupted. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
849 I've been impeached--and pardoned 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
850 This is your first time guarding in the Trump Tower penthouse? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
851 Keeping watch on an empty throne is not going help my self-actualization process. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
852 I got it from some African sparrows who used it to haul coconuts. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
853 . . . but I am looking forward to the make-up sex. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
854 Wake me if its about to reign. 1.2025 0.06077 79 68 6 5
855 Wake me when you hear him coming. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
856 It's the violence inherent in the system that keeps me up at night. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
857 I think that you're supposed to be testing the hassock. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
858 Do you think His Highness will notice his carpet cut off at the end? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
859 Wake me when the sixth seal is broken. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
860 I ordered a death by hemlock, not a death by hammock. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
861 Wake me when the Crusade is over and everyone's returned to the castle. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
862 No one said we had to stand guard. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
863 There's no way he'll make it back from the Crusades. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
864 No, I'm not going to fan you. You millennials are so entitled. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
865 Larry, does "game of hammocks" sounds good for a show? 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
866 I'm gonna audition for this new series The Game of Hammocks. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
867 It wasn't easy finding 2 columns just the right distance apart. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
868 He's OOO until Wednesday. There's room for two if we squeeze. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
869 Who knew his Magesty was a swinger? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
870 The holy grail was right here, all along. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
871 I demand peas for my dinner. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
872 Look I can't be at my collaborative best stuck in a workspace that's just a metaphor for absolute authority. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
873 This job isn't as easy as it looks. I'm trying to decide what to tweet about. 1.2025 0.06077 79 68 6 5
874 Fine. Can I PLEASE get a push? 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
875 Should the press ask, I'm meditating... 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
876 Don't wake me up unless the king decides to go rogue. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
877 Bring me a beach! With an ocean! 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
878 Fill in for me, will ya? 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
879 Is this what the peasants mean by a"staycation"? 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
880 While the king's away, the knights will sway. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
881 Sorry, I'm used to the knight shift. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
882 It takes it all out of you to plunder and pillage. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
883 I wasn't sleeping, I was just resting my eyes your majesty... hey where is she? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
884 Sure glad this came with a spear holder. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
885 The key to kingship is not to rock things too much. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
886 That's not what he meant when he said "You're sacked." 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
887 You were supposed to give the king hemlock, not a hammock! 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
888 Wake me when we have a king we can respect. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
889 Give me a little push? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
890 I am preparing for war in the tropics. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
891 Get someone in here to build shutters and then close them! 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
892 Beats Mar-a-Lago, anyway. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
893 Fetch the Royal Chiropractor ! 1.2025 0.06077 79 68 6 5
894 Can you get a shot of this for my Instagram? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
895 You saw him at the banquet. Royal chamberpot's in for a workout. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
896 OSHA said the king had to accommodate my disability. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
897 I never realized our tunics were also hammocks. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
898 Flipping out is the leading cause of hammock fear. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
899 No one would want to spend all day on the throne. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
900 My wife won't let me into the bedroom until I apologize. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
901 Yes Sire, you do look less kingly. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
902 Since the revolution, this job's a lot more relaxing. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
903 Road-testing for His Majesty 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
904 Because I'm management 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
905 What happened to my old Playboys? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
906 Those all night poker games with Prince Harry and Falstaff are killers! 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
907 Welcome to Nap-a-Lot. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
908 If you see anything, cut me down. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
909 This'll help relax me 'til they invent golf. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
910 Jester, get up! Juggle the Kings balls! He's coming to the Throne! 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
911 If you hear footsteps, wake me. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
912 Im telling you, 1-800-knight-hammock will blow mattress king out of the moat 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
913 My wife got mad and said I had to sleep on the couch. Then I found out they haven't been invented. 1.1948 0.06142 77 67 5 5
914 No more knightcaps. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
915 The King said protect the throne. He didn't say how. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
916 Summon the Castle Architect to install another column over there, so you can have one, too. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
917 Prithee, until You-Know-Who comes back from his latest crusade, I'm going to get a good knight's sleep. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
918 Hey, I'm the night watch.... 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
919 I pictured something very different when the king said he'd have me hanged. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
920 I thought he said "Try hammock, then unleash the dogs of war." 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
921 I don't know, Dave. 'Game of Hammocks' seemed much more exciting in the read-through. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
922 I like to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on my first day. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
923 Rock me gently so I can plan tomorrow's pillage and burn raid. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
924 We’re safe. I’ve binge watched Game of Thrones. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
925 I command thee to sing me a lullaby. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
926 Is there room for two? 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
927 The Royal Guard Union won't let me stand for more than 20 minutes a day. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
928 My memory foam mattress sleeps too hot. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
929 Screw your Me Time. Here comes the King. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
930 Read me "Winkin Blinkin and Nod again" 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
931 No, no, it's not the same as usurping the throne! 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
932 It's a working vacation. I'm taking calls, tweeting.... 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
933 Wake me up when he starts tweeting. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
934 Please summon my carriage to take me to the throne. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
935 I call it a 'hammock' because the court jester is the ham who hung it here to mock the king. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
936 What war? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
937 There's a pea under that cushion 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
938 Wake me when he shows up. You forgot last time and there was some unpleasantness. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
939 Technically, I'm on vacation. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
940 Why can't I have a bed in the throne room 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
941 New gig. I'm the Rester. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
942 Don't worry... he'll be on his other throne for quite some time. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
943 What a glorious feeling, just swinging in the reign. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
944 He wasn't using his cape anyway. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
945 I'm?? fired. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
946 I pissed her off again. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
947 I'm a taco. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
948 No, it is not a land canoe. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
949 Man, pillaging is exhausting. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
950 I heard standing is the old smoking 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
951 I'm just breaking it in for him. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
952 You knave! You know I can't sleep near a 'yonder' window. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
953 I love glamping. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
954 Ceiling all secure, sir. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
955 What time is it? Did I miss the coronation? 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
956 No, it is not your turn yet. I have another two minutes. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
957 Can you tell me that story again about the Princess and The Pea? 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
958 There is a lack of privacy, but what a view. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
959 You gotta love working for an enlightened monarch. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
960 He's in the woods taking a shit. 1.1948 0.06414 77 68 3 6
961 What a dump, I feel like Trump. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
962 Some habits from the navy are hard to shake. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
963 At least I'm not leaking anything 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
964 The marriage bed ain't what it used to be. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
965 I just don't see what's the big deal with memory canvas. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
966 He's off on a crusade. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
967 There's no cure for royal ennui 1.1948 0.06142 77 67 5 5
968 To each his throne. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
969 I've been up all night reading that horrid novel "The Prince and the Pauper." 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
970 These free massages and reading nooks at work do boost my productivity. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
971 wake me up before the king gets back. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
972 I told you, he always runs to the left, he doesn't need a right guard. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
973 If we're going to sleep while on duty, then we might as well be comfy. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
974 One man's crusade is another man's catnap. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
975 ...and I've got a note from my doctor. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
976 I think I 've invented the stay-cation. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
977 Tell me a story. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
978 I'm going to market it to the commoners. What do you think? I'm calling it, "The Canvas Throne". 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
979 I said ham hock but this will do. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
980 When no king, why not swing? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
981 Didn't you see the sock on the doorknob? 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
982 Hey, can you move this pillar about a foot to the right? 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
983 Could you pass me my drink? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
984 Its in our new union contract. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
985 It's okay, they never attack from this side. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
986 Then it hit me---while he`s out of town, why not?! 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
987 Who ordered queen size? 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
988 It's not the accommodations,its the atmosphere 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
989 He's appealing the coup. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
990 These working vacations are really not very relaxing. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
991 It's the closest I'll ever get to a luxury vacation. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
992 Don't quit your day job. No one's gonna buy a shaky cloth bed. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
993 Good night. Sleep loose. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
994 They said the palm trees cannot be delivered until tomorrow. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
995 How else can I win the Game of Hammocks? 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
996 You have got to be kidding! You made a hammock out of the King's cape? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
997 My anti-fatigue mat has gone missing. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
998 You misunderstood. HE'S on a working vacation. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
999 What? Minimum wage hasn't been invented yet and I don't get enough sick days. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
1000 To stand guard is so Early Middle Ages. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1001 I wanted to see how the other half lives. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
1002 If he fires me I get three months salary plus raid benefits. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1003 Sometimes I get wrapped up in my work. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1004 You should just relax, he's always out golfing. 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
1005 It's called early retirement. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1006 How am I supposed to watch Game of Thrones from here?!! 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1007 I'm breathing through 'resting warrior' posture. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1008 We're suppose to be "standing" guard. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1009 Pah, who cares? What’s the worst he can do? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1010 Oh, so that's why we built the columns so close together 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1011 I made it from his royal highness's blankie. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1012 I fear I have a boil on my rear. Pray call Sir Lance-a-lot. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1013 Guard duty isn't half bad. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1014 You should talk to the royal jester about the effects of stress in the workplace. 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
1015 Why bother? Even upper management doesn't show up. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1016 Tell Lord Hammock this is the stupidest idea he ever had. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1017 This isn't what I had in mind when I asked for a vacation. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1018 Don't tell Cersei. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1019 Not until you take out the snake and straighten the runner. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1020 You think I'm going to waste this by hanging it on some damp wall? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1021 The Crusades are ending. You'd better get out of there. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1022 I'm beginning to like this Palace Guard gig Bruno. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1023 I'll watch over the King's dreams while you guard his throne. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1024 Could you pass me the pillow? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1025 I'll be rich when this hits the market and then I'm outta here... and it's bye bye to the Earl Of Hammock. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1026 With Tower BNB you also get a complimentary Hair Shirt. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1027 Just resting my eyes. 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
1028 Wake me up if you hear him coming. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1029 You're always so literal. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1030 Nappy time is over, your majesty. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1031 So this is your spin on guarding the king? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1032 Hey, Lou. Guess who just pulled up out front? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1033 Tell me again how a staycation works. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1034 Come on, now it's my turn. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1035 It isn't what you thought it would be, is it? 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1036 Wake me when Game of Thrones is on. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1037 I tell you, you've got to join the new union. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1038 We don't all get a King Sized Mattress 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1039 You know I can't sleep standing up. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1040 Wake me up if you hear her coming up the stairs 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1041 Queasy swings the head that wears the crown. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
1042 Relax, Hogar, you take this bodyguard job too seriously 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1043 So then the King says "My kingdom for a hammock." 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1044 It's because I won with only one swing vote. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
1045 Wake me when the Barbarians are at the gate. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
1046 Best Air BnB ever. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
1047 No golf today, Mr. President? 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
1048 Wake me up before the fanfare. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
1049 Sire, you need to get out of there -- the queen is coming 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
1050 Seniority has its perks. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1051 Relax. He's golfing at Mar-a-lago again. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1052 You'd give your kingdom for a bath? Forget it. 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
1053 Wake me up when you hear trumpets. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1054 I've decided to take a phased retirement. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1055 When I got this gig, they said I could hang out with the King. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1056 Can you get me a Mai Tai? 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1057 Wake me if Agincourt falls. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1058 Did you mean good-night or good-knight? 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1059 Oi mate, next shift you have to give this a go. It does wonders for the bunions. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1060 Sing "Soft Kitty" to me. 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
1061 You did say that the King gets back from France tomorrow, right? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1062 Relax. He's at his summer home. 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
1063 Relax, it's summer Fridays. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1064 You should consider joining the union like I did. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1065 "Well, he did say 'stay and hang around here'". 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1066 It's cool; I used to party with the Prince. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1067 “It’s good to be the King”! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1068 Yes, I know. No more catalog purchases! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1069 "We'll see. Until then I'm calling it an "abdi-cation". 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1070 I am on sabbatical 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1071 First time glamping? 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1072 A sling of outrageous fortune. Big whoop. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1073 Now with the King gone every weekend playing golf, we need that fourth column added. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1074 Mojito, Your Highness? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1075 I haven't getting a good knight's sleep. 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
1076 I'm more worried that someone has absconded with my sleep mask. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1077 Better for my back. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1078 I ordered a ham hock, but OK. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1079 Good Knight 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
1080 I can't sleep. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1081 Amazon has everything! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1082 Tell Merlin that I said 'Haddock' 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1083 Good night, good knight. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1084 Relax. Don't worry, he's not a King. Just the President of the United States, besides he thinks this place is a dump. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1085 *sigh*...14. Your sleep number is 14. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1086 They get summer fridays in Avalon, I'm taking a nap while Arty's in the Hamptons. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1087 The Queen says I snore 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1088 Buy now for the best knight's sleep. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1089 I'll sleep now. Wake me when he's overthrown! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1090 I've just invented Product Placement 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1091 This makes it easier to swing both ways yet remain aloof. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1092 YOU tell him it's called "king-size"! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1093 Aw, please?? Just a little push?? 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1094 Edward, The Lazy. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1095 It's a swing fit for a king. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1096 It was on sale. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1097 The New Yorker bet me I couldn't write a caption that was situation-agnostic. 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
1098 I'm the power-napper behind the throne. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1099 Bringeth mine love hither so that we may fluctuate. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1100 You can go home now General Kelly...Trump went to Mar-a-lago to golf. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1101 Sire, Even the finest of establishments are not immune to bed bugs. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
1102 Alex, play sleepy-time music. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1103 Try a lullaby with less violent imagery. 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
1104 C'mon, just hand me the pillow, Jeff. He's been out golfing for weeks. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
1105 He won't be back from the crusade for a while. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1106 Gary, go get my CPAP machine! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
1107 Game of Thrones ruined it for me. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
1108 It really is true. Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1109 I feel caught between a rock and a hard place 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1110 They call it an anti gravity thingamajig. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1111 Long lay the king! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1112 All the best Viking longships have then now, apparently. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1113 I'm already up! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1114 I'm transitioning. You can't go from a tent to a throne instantly. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1115 " One word of this, and we're both toast". 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1116 I'm glad I'm on the swing shift. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1117 Go on then, hand me the pillow. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1118 Gives the place a kind of Caribbean flavor, doesn't it? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1119 As the new Lord of Highgarden, I choose a more fitting throne. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1120 Wake me when the Lay-zee-King throne arrives. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1121 Get out, you're making a hammockery of the Kingdom. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1122 It's a WORKING nap! 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
1123 Enquireth if we have a Royal Hammock Dislodger . 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1124 So far so good. If only we could do something about the noise of the wailing peasants. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1125 Work smarter, not harder. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1126 I thought this was the swing shift. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1127 Cry hammock! And let sleep the dogs of war. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1128 Well, he should have specified what kind of 'sling'! 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1129 It's high time we take the stigma out of hanging. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1130 you expect me to stand when he won't even sit? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1131 Would there was a lazy way to ravage my enemies, Sir Twitter. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1132 This is a big improvement over the bean bag chair. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1133 Where are my milk and cookies? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1134 No sleeping on the set. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1135 I'm on swing shift. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1136 Post-lunch food coma coming on. 1.1765 0.06606 68 61 2 5
1137 The Knights of Margaritaville 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
1138 This standing all day was killing my back. Whistle if you see him coming. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1139 ...My Lord - if I may ask, why don't you just retire and move to Mar-e-Largo ? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1140 Only the hammock is on the path of the solar eclipse. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1141 Sing "Soft Kitty" to me. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1142 You will not solve the troubles facing your kingdom by regressing to your childhood. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1143 Don't you think you might be taking your morning break routine to a dangerous new level? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1144 Sure, Right Hand Man has its perks, But I never get a night off! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1145 Wake me when you hear him coming. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1146 For how long do I announce the Royal Camping Trip will take, Sir? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1147 Tell Her Majesty I'll come to bed when they catch that mouse - and not before! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1148 I still have 5 more minutes on the sundial. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1149 It's part of my benefit package. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
1150 Aah. I decree that my life story will hereafter be called 'Game of Hammocks.' 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
1151 The stonemason said it was a premium upgrade. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
1152 I earned this. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1153 If he's still gone tomorrow, I'm getting a mattress. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1154 Wake me when you see dragons 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1155 Don't judge me, I have a knight job. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1156 I expect productivity to increase another 15% when the foosball table is installed. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1157 Fetch me the beach. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1158 Yes, a gentle nudge please 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1159 I think I finally got the hang of this job. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1160 Hold all of my calls until after the Solar Eclipse. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1161 I had the strangest dream about a 3 hour tour 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1162 This thing's too darn comfortable for the Middle Ages. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1163 Be sure to wake me for the two o'clock audience. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
1164 I self dethroned 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
1165 King for a Day. Big F_ _ _ _ _ g deal! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1166 I distinctly heard "librarians" at the gate. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1167 HR wants me to switch to a treadmill desk. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1168 Did you say Queen takes Bishop? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1169 Time for a little autocracy, Sire 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1170 What do you mean you can't get out? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1171 Comfy is the head that wears the crown. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1172 He said he went to his other throne. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1173 I can't keep my eyes open. ..he was tweeting all night long 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1174 If he gets his power trips, then I get my power naps. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1175 I'm the hammock tester. It's a hard job but someone has to do it! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1176 Are you taking advantage of the flextime policy? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1177 I'd give us an A. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1178 The King is in his countinghouse and I'm grabbing forty winks. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1179 Relax. Dick traded his kingdom for a horse. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1180 I have been so much more productive since the kingdom installed these "sleep pods". 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1181 The last thing I recall is that he was put into check by the rook. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
1182 Someone booked the castle on Airbnb. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1183 He said, "Don't just stand there!" 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1184 I'm on-call until next Thor's Day. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1185 I'd just like to get a little Me time OK? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1186 My last job had standing desks. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1187 I want my pillow! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1188 I'm not that kind of king. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
1189 It's that kind of attitude that got the last boss dethroned. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1190 I don't know about the arrows, but the sling is outrageous! 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
1191 I just got fed up being laughed at for being "on the throne." 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1192 Winter is coming. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1193 I know you enjoy the hammock, my lord, but the throne is better for your sciatica. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1194 I'm more alert when I'm sleeping. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1195 This king needs some we time. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1196 Little r & r before storming Castle Rock. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1197 Are you sure this has an 800 thread count? 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
1198 The new health policy mandates that employees cannot stand for more than two hours straight. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1199 I just can't forget the days I spent as a cabin boy. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1200 Yeah, well, you could contribute a little more emotional labor. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
1201 These wars of succession can go on forever. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1202 I think I felt the pea. Now can we get a memory foam hammock? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1203 Relax. He's on a 17-day golfing vacation. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1204 Just clearing my head 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1205 See if they can save the saber rattling until after 3:00. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1206 But you do look like Charles Laughton. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1207 Wake me so I can grab my spear and look alert before the King gets back. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
1208 Tell no one I nap in the office. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1209 What happens in the throne hall stays in the throne hall. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1210 He never forgets my birthday. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1211 I was hoping for more of a get-away this summer. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1212 Sorry, your side is missing a column. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1213 I'm waiting for the royal treatment. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1214 Beach traffic be damned! 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
1215 Was I snoring? 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
1216 Whoa! Bad dream. I'm afraid to look, anybody on the throne? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1217 Look, I refuse to stand here all night. We don't even get time and a half. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
1218 No Donald, you cant just stay in your hammock all day. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
1219 You really think I'm standing around waiting for him to get back from the Crusades? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
1220 Alas poor Hammock, I used you well. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
1221 I couldn't take her snoring. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
1222 oh hey sorry will you grab my phone? 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1223 I'ts not regal, but its comfy. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1224 Now let me try one of those standing desks 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1225 Are you sure he's at Bedminster? 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1226 Being King Consort isn't all it's cracked up to be. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1227 Wake me up if you see my supervisor coming. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1228 This king needs some we time. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1229 It's the Game of Hammocks ! Watch your back. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1230 Gimme a push. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1231 We've been meaning to talk to you about your attitude... 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1232 Let me know, will you, when you hear the king coming. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1233 You know I would rather be on the beach. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1234 You know how that Costanza doesn't like to see guards having to stand on their feet. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1235 Wake me if he turns up for work. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1236 It's called hammoc--King. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1237 Watch the throne. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1238 I'll drain the swamp tomorrow. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1239 Let's reschedule the rampage. I have a tummy ache. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1240 Wake me up for the beheadings. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1241 I keep having a dream about a king size bed. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1242 The throne is nice and all, but this is comfier. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
1243 Rock me. But gently. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1244 This is terribly embarrassing...would you hand me my uniform? 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1245 Queens! Can't live with them, can't live without them. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1246 No, you may not try the whoopee cushion on the throne again! 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
1247 We will not bend the knee, nor will we change your ID tag to read 'Felix, First of His Name, Destroyer of Couches.' 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1248 You think it looks too much like a banana ? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1249 It's a gift for the king. He said he wanted to be a swinger. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1250 But you read me a bedtime story yesterday . . . 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1251 Did you ask the reception about that extra pillow? 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1252 You there! Go gather some men to move that hideously large horse into the gates. It's blocking my waterview! 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1253 For my birthday, the wife said it was either this, or another sword! 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1254 Two more years on the job, and you'll get your paid vacation 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1255 Occupy the King's Chambers begins. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1256 If he's the king of the road, I'm the prince of the hammock. 1.1692 0.06419 65 58 3 4
1257 I get the part of about the arrows, but I gotta tell ya, this sling is pretty sweet. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1258 Summertime, and the living is easy. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1259 While Arthur's on Crusade, I watch his throne. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1260 I'm wasting away in margaritaville. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1261 Between you and me, my money's on the dragon. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1262 The knights will play, when the king is away. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1263 I just had the CRAZIEST dream. And you and the Queen were in it! 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1264 How long did he say the unveiling of the wooden horse gift would take? 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
1265 See, I told you the drapes would make a great hammock ! 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1266 You think he said Royal "Court"? I definitely heard "cot." 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1267 Summer is coming. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1268 Ozik, you forgot my teddy bear again! 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1269 Uneasy lies the bottom that sits the throne. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1270 I figure we can relax while he's away at Mar-a-Lago. 1.1692 0.06419 65 58 3 4
1271 Notice?! Haha, he still hasn't found his crown on the top of his throne! 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
1272 Be a prince and get me a mug of ale. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1273 It's called game of thrones not game of hammocks. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1274 I'll tell him you'll swing by later. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1275 Wake me BEFORE the King returns, not after like poor Carl. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1276 Wake me up when sire returns from the joist. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
1277 No, I believe I asked for a ham hock. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
1278 Politically, I can swing either way. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
1279 I was up all night ghostwriting tweets for the king. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
1280 They're both thrones. It's a game. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1281 It's the Sandals Jamaica way. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1282 Unless it's a rebellion, don't wake me up. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1283 Keeping up with the Byzantines. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
1284 His Majesty is refusing to enter the chamber on account of your morning breath, Steve. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
1285 It's a working vacation, dude. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
1286 You know: duh, ta-duh, duh, da-day, cradle will rock. But what's the rest of it? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1287 Hey, he's out on his golf course. You can wake me up when he comes back. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1288 It will be awhile. He went to the weavers for a new suit of clothes. 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
1289 I'm not going - I'm next in line to the throne. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
1290 Let's rethink the staycation. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
1291 You know Yorick, sleeping in this hammock brings back fond memories of my scouting days. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1292 Isn't that Sir George's old tapestry? I think Sir George took the idea of fringe benefits a little too literally. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
1293 My subjects said their king should swing. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1294 Why not? He's always off relaxing at one of his other castles. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1295 I saw it on Game of Thrones. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
1296 The crusades were a cultural exchange man. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
1297 He's been into the Imperial margarine again. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1298 You're being too literal--there are many ways to stand guard. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
1299 I got in the habit while at sea. One of the perks of being a galley slave. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
1300 Good Knight? Sweet Prince? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
1301 Sire...looks like we've been sacked again! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
1302 What are you looking at? It was a gift from Columbus! 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
1303 Hey, he took the New Yorker. He'll be a while. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
1304 Wake me in 20 minutes, I have an Inquisition to go to. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
1305 You were supposed to order king size, Thor. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1306 Just wake me up when his reign is over. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1307 My last review said I stood around too much. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1308 I'm getting some shut eye, he'll be back from Mara Largo in the morning. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1309 I wouldn't do that Theobald. If he catches on to it you will lose your job, your pension and, oh yes, your head. 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1310 I can't stand guard duty! 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1311 I'm planning on sleeping my way to the top. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1312 I can see just as well laying guard. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1313 I'm really stuck. Do you know any sure fire jokes about a Jester in a bloody hammock? 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1314 The Airbnb description said it would have two hammocks. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1315 The total eclipse is coming through my window - quickly bring a pair of glasses filled with dark rum! 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1316 I guard his dreams. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1317 I know you're tired, my lord. But it's all about visuals. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1318 It's a staycation. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1319 Wake me for the beauty pageant 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1320 The Big Guy says I'm one drug test away from becoming the Royal Eunuch. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1321 He's off for the 100 Year War. When do you think he'll return? 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
1322 My alchemist feels a 20 minute power nap will invigorate my ability to pillage! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
1323 Look, H.R. would've said something if this is frowned upon here. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1324 Look, I'm just like the 99% 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1325 I overheard the His Highness calling it the 30 Years War, and we're only in year 12 - so I think I'm entitled. 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1326 His Majesty must be tweeting from the porcelain one again. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1327 I'm lacking vitamin D. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1328 The night shift makes me sleepy. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1329 Good morning, Sunshine. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1330 Wake me in 8 seasons. 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1331 You can tell her that naps make me more alert. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1332 My job as royal bed warmer has taken on new dimensions since the last expedition returned from the New World 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1333 I've got time for a nap... he's on the other throne. 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1334 Ruling is fine, but I miss the sea. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1335 Read your job description again, buddy. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1336 The economy is great, so, yeah, the hammock - I say - go for it. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1337 Because I'm the one who convinced the Queen to have trumpeters announce her return. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1338 Have you not seen the size of the rats? 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1339 He's the Boy King. Of course he likes sleepovers. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
1340 I'm glad we unionized 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1341 He's out all day. I think it's fine to "let your guard down" for a nap. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
1342 You have to admit, for a king, he’s pretty easygoing. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1343 It's like we're working in the dark ages here. I mean sure, we finally got a nap pod... but when are they finally going to put an organic poké bar in the cafeteria? 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1344 I 'fat fingered' my hassock order on Amazon... 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1345 That chair hurts my tuches. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1346 Just tell her I said 65 years is quite bloody enough. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1347 Knock off the "Rockabye Baby". 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1348 I am telling you, no throne compares! 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1349 Rank hath its priveleges! 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1350 Some two-week paid vacation, huh? 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1351 Ye can find a feif-load of riches at the REI dungeon sale. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1352 I'm going to need you to move that column about six inches.... 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1353 I don't think he's coming back. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1354 When you're done with the Ironic Throne, how's about giving someone else a turn? 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1355 How about we just go with "the hand that rocks the hammock rules the kingdom?" 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1356 I need to tweet. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1357 I'll be on my feet again as soon as he gets off the throne 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1358 It's not laying down on the job if you don't touch the floor. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1359 I was dreamimg that I was on a deserted island. 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1360 I negotiated it in my offer 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1361 A couple of these and we can list it as a summer rental. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
1362 I don't know how the Pope does it. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1363 I thought he was gone for 17 days?" "You know he can't last that long without attention. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1364 Finally! Flex time benefits for the working class! 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1365 What? He did say "at ease". 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1366 You can take the chair today. I'll just be comfortable over here. 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1367 You know, it's really hard to ENJOY a power nap when YOU'RE the power. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1368 Time for my power nap. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1369 Why not name it for the inventor, Sir Henry of Hammock? 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1370 He said "guard the throne" not "Stand" guard. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1371 Wake me up when the game of thrones is over. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1372 While he counts his money, I'll count sheep 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1373 More than one guard to defend an empty throne is absurd. Get with the Enlightenment, Rudy. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1374 You've probably never heard of Game of Thrones, either. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1375 Tell me again, how this is earthquake safe. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1376 My Lord, the Queen insists that you remain here until she requests your company again, possibly next week because of "you know what," in her words, your grace. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1377 Relax he's at Mar-a-lago. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
1378 I'm sorry. I'm not as dedicated, now that I've seen the emperor without clothes. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1379 Wake me if there's a war. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
1380 Didn't you hear? We conquered The Bahamas. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
1381 Bring me my SPF 45. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
1382 Don't worry. I'll take it down before he gets back from Bedminster. 1.1587 0.06482 63 57 2 4
1383 Can't you see I'm knapping? 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
1384 When work is this much fun, who needs a vacation! 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
1385 I had requested a standing desk. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
1386 Sire,the teeter totter is now available. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1387 This gives me more sway over my subjects. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1388 Wake me early. I have a 'Camelot' audition in the morning. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1389 It's because I got The Employee of the Month award for standing on my feet the longest. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1390 If it is a symbolic representation of ultimate power then it can just guard itself. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1391 Sometimes I just have to get away 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1392 It's time for Wolf Blitzer, Your Highness. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1393 I sent for a ham hock but this is a lot more fun. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
1394 You're right, this one is more comfortable. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1395 Thrones, Shmones. I'll win the game of Hammocks. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1396 $49.95 at REI. Did I pay too much? 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1397 Then it hit me! I've been standing all these years right next to a perfectly good chair! 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1398 I joined a new thing called a 'Union'. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1399 There many different ways of making a stand. 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1400 Your Majesty, the Shiatsu massage throne repair man has arrived. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1401 That has been a throne in my side for years!" 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1402 You know, sometimes I regret spending so much on the throne... 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1403 If his majesty can take a 17 day vacation, so can I. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1404 I need someone to sing 'rock-a-bye baby'. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1405 Relax, he's out golfing again... 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1406 I'm a great negotiator. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
1407 I'm taking a half vacation day. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1408 That damn crusade's takin' longer than he expected. 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1409 It's much more comfortable than the throne, but my crown keeps falling off. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1410 I would bring the sunscreen, sire, but it hasn't been invented yet. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1411 I'm filing a grievance. There's nothing in the job description that says I have to warm the damned thing every time the queen makes him sleep in the throne room. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1412 It's actually making me kinda seasick 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1413 No you silly. There is only room for me. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1414 Wake me when the Hundred Years' War is over. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1415 Call the jester. Now. 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1416 You should, too—he’s binge-watching Game of Thrones. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1417 Do you think the Queen is still upset with me? 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
1418 He'll be on his other throne for at least an hour. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1419 Night 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1420 It's my turn. Go sit in thr throne. 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1421 Godot called. He's taking lunch with the king. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1422 Dude, there's room for two in here. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1423 The beach house I wanted was booked, so I'm taking a staycation. 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1424 Got your ass in a sling, my liege? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1425 Relax, I told you, we can take turns. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1426 King? What King? 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1427 Just trying out for Game of Hammocks 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1428 Well, excuse ME, if the castle's siege is cutting into my lazy summer day. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1429 It's called a hammock. What'll they think of next? 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1430 Now sing me a lullaby. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1431 Hamlet Not Hammock! 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1432 A bath before bed? What's a bath? 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1433 What? You don't ever get tired of working the knight shift? 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1434 Not now. Just tell them I'm hung up. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1435 Wake me if you hear bugles. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1436 ...and I say to hell with convention! 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1437 You heard him say our pensions are underfunded? 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1438 Have you seen my L. L. Bean catalog? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1439 The guys pitched in and filled the moat for your stay-cation. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1440 Hey winter is coming, I gotta get my hammock time in. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1441 I'm finding my beach. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1442 You would think even this dumpy castle could afford two hammocks. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1443 Standing guard when he's not here? That's barbaric... 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1444 There just aren't enough pillows! 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1445 Good Sir Knight ...Methinks we doth have hammock-bugs. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1446 Sire, I must inform you that all members on your committee on Sleeping in Hammocks have resigned. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1447 Yes, it's comfy, and No, it doesn't have a sleep number. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1448 I didn't want this job in the first place. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1449 Quit staring at me, Get over. here and push me. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1450 He gets a throne. I get a hammock. Live with it. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
1451 I'll keep both of them. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1452 He's been watching re-runs of The Lion King again. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1453 Single-layer healthcare. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
1454 My accountant said the armor's deductible if I work out of my home. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1455 Hemorrhoids. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1456 Lancelot is my brother. I am Sleepalot 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1457 You're just jealous you only have one column. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1458 I called fivesies on that seat! 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1459 The Queen wishes the invention of a couch. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1460 These hammocks are specially made for Manhattan studios 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1461 Wake me up when the king returns. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1462 I'm not sure this is what the king meant when he said to have him hanged. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
1463 No, we are not getting you a Twitter account. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1464 Was I snoring? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1465 Things are running hammock! 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1466 Change of scenery. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1467 How can a knight to get a good nights sleep in a hammock? 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1468 Send a raven now -- I must know when my king-sized mattress is arriving. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1469 Did you find a plumber yet to unclog my throne? 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
1470 In the jungle the lion sleeps tonight. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1471 Give me a little swing, will ya Cedric? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1472 Let me know when he returns from his other throne. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1473 What? It's not likely I'm sitting in her chair. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1474 Can I get you anything while I'm up? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1475 With all this opulence surrounding us, sometimes I just need to go off-the-grid! 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
1476 With the siege, beheadings and peasant revolt, I just decided to go with a staycaction. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1477 Well, where else am I supposed to put it? 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
1478 I believe that if I'm happier at work it makes me a more productive guard. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
1479 Abdicate the hammock my lord. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
1480 Summon the royal chiropractor. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1481 Don't forget to set the snooze alarm. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1482 Oh relax, the last knight sat in his throne and that's why he was beheaded. This is just his hammock. But seriously, keep look out. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1483 BRING ME TWO TREES! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1484 Dethroned and pillared. The Shame. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1485 Staycation 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1486 Fetch me my hammock wench !! 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1487 Wake me when the guys arrive for the Round Table meeting! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1488 The bold, brave, vigilant men of the king's royal guard...HAH! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1489 I got the idea riding past road workers leaning on their shovels. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1490 I shall call it... sleeping on the job. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1491 Pomp and circumstance be damned !! This is better for my lumbago. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1492 Wait. Maybe my doctor said take two PILLS and call me in the morning... 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1493 Shh, I need a break from governing. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1494 The twenty minutes in your sleep pod are up, Sire. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1495 That's one small sleep for a man, a giant sleep for mankind. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1496 Well, call them again! The ad said 30min delivery guarunteed, or the pizza's free! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1497 It's too early to sleep, wait until knight time. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1498 Tell them it's a working staycation. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1499 I can't keep guard of the right wing no more you take it from here Dude. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1500 Heavy is the head that guards the crown... 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1501 Because Queen Eleanor´s a bitch, OK? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1502 How can there be no limes in the entire kingdom? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1503 I love this hammock idea, but how does one get out? 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1504 I got it cheap from an Amazon. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1505 Abdicate, I'm taking a nap. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1506 And I'm also skipping the executions! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1507 I know we have to be here as the honor guard, but he's at another rally. It's going to be hours before we have to stand to honor him. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1508 Wake me up for the night shift. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1509 Crusade ventures do result in relaxation periods, as long as we're not storming the castle. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1510 It's a staycation. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1511 The job description never said anything about standing when protecting the king. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1512 Your vacation is not approved because of short-staffing. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1513 Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown but now in a hammock... 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1514 King Henry VIII: "Have you ever heard of this guy, Trump?" Guard: "The Tyrant of America" King Henry VIII: "Ya! And I thought I was bad." 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1515 There's a pea in my bed. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1516 Relax, last I heard he was still golfing. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1517 It's relaxing, but it's no Mar-a-Lago. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1518 I order you to swing me. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1519 Just a gentle rock, a little lullaby. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1520 It's just until he returns from Bedminster. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1521 I just dreamed I was a maiden fair and you came to rescue me from a dragon. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1522 His Majesty denied our healthcare benefits request, but caved on short rest breaks. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1523 I'm telling you...this is feudal! 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1524 Just once I'd like them to bring me to the summer castle. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1525 If the king returns rememder it's "bivouacing" , not taking a nappy nap. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1526 I can't wait for air conditioning to be invented. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1527 That's step one, Gordo. Step two is to bring in some sand and get me one of those pink cocktails with a tiny umbrella. 1.1429 0.06461 56 51 2 3
1528 Just one of the perks of being a union kingsguard. 1.1429 0.06461 56 51 2 3
1529 How's that daiquiri coming? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1530 We'll sack Rome, after I get some sack time. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1531 And that's EXACTLY why we need a union 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1532 Vive la guillotine. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1533 Dave, you should get in on this. Totally worth a potential beheading. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1534 You're ruining the symmetry. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1535 It's helping me relate to millennials. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1536 Sometimes, that throne is pain in the ass. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1537 What? It gets exhausting sitting on that throne all day every day! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1538 I want to be first in line when Daenerys Targaryen get here. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1539 Ok, you guard the King's throne and I'll guard his hammock 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1540 Tell the Queen I went golfing. Its the lesser of the two evils. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1541 His Majesty sent this with a note saying my annual review was ready, but since then I've heard nothing. 1.1429 0.06461 56 51 2 3
1542 The Jersey Shore is too crowded. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1543 Cool job. They can relax! 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1544 We could conquer a larger castle or simply remodel. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1545 Let that other guy tweet while sitting on his throne. I'll tweet from my hammock. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1546 Have you ever had one of those dreams where the king gets kidnapped? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1547 Joining the union finally paid off. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1548 Muffin is obsessed with Game of Thrones. 1.1429 0.06461 56 51 2 3
1549 No funny stuff Timotheus. I awoke with pink eye after the least incident 1.1429 0.06461 56 51 2 3
1550 Oh, all right. Sweet dreams! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1551 This working vacation is too much like working. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1552 She said that just because I'm the king doesn't make me the most capable in the castle. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1553 You do know that hammock is Celtic for lazy guard 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1554 We will not bend the knee. We will cancel our HBO subscription. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1555 I'm so tired of all the palace intrigue. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1556 'No sitting on my throne,' he says? Ha! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1557 I'm tired of hearing him say 'It's good to be king'. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1558 I fired ALL my servants?!? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1559 Ubi Papa, ibi Roma... 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1560 It's not easy getting out of this after my power nap! 1.1429 0.06461 56 51 2 3
1561 I'll need your help getting out of this thing when the ambassador shows. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1562 You can be the big spoon ... 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1563 Dude, thou ought to try this hammock! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1564 The King is gone on a campaign ... so why guard and empty throne? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1565 He's off crusadin' again. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1566 Wake me before the King returns from his game of golf. 1.1429 0.06461 56 51 2 3
1567 Wake me if that cat comes back. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
1568 He'll never know. He's out of town golfing again. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
1569 He's coming! This is no time for power napping or feeling your inner king! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1570 I'm glad we unionized 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
1571 What a relief! My feet were killing me. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
1572 'Standing guard' is so Medieval! 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
1573 No, he said you could be king for the day. (Note: italics on "day"). 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
1574 I'm th court rester. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
1575 Are you sure the king said we'd be "working knights"? 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
1576 I said hang my ham-hock you fool. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
1577 What part of interregnum don't you understand? 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
1578 'Inspecting the realm' is code for a 4-week vacation. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
1579 When King Trevor tells you to chillax, you chillax. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
1580 The Crusades can wait a couple hours. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
1581 Make sure he knows I'm saving his seat for him. 1.1404 0.06352 57 52 2 3
1582 I'll watch out for an aerial attack. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
1583 It's fine with me if you continue to "guard the throne" from over there. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
1584 Wake me at Tweet-thirty. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
1585 ...and, with the money I save from this Stay-cation, I can buy that new trebuchet! 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
1586 I'm tired of bending the knee. Now I'm resting the tush. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
1587 Uneasy lies the hemorrhoid that sits upon a throne. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
1588 Don't worry. Think how long a crusade is. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
1589 Tell him I'll need another few weeks to make sure it's safe. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
1590 Misunderstanding during the interview; I asked for a ham hock. 1.1379 0.06246 58 53 2 3
1591 Wake me for the torture. 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
1592 My mother never cuddled. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
1593 Ask the cat. 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
1594 That's NOT what he meant when the king said "Commence with the hangings!" 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
1595 I thought you told me the sequel was going to be called 'Game of Hammocks'? 1.1379 0.06246 58 53 2 3
1596 I'm taking a staycation. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
1597 Wake me when we've evolved from popular monarchy to crowned republic. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1598 Long live the King, I reckon. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1599 Has Trump left yet? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1600 The throne spooks me 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1601 The tale of how Borin lost his job. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1602 How the hell did I end up here? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1603 We're always under siege. I need a vacation. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1604 This is a very popular relaxation device that I discovered on vacation at Club Med! 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1605 Army life is tough when you've got heel spurs. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1606 I'm a populist at heart. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1607 Okay, now bring me the tiki torches. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1608 "I'm a fan of 'Game of Hammocks.' 1.1321 0.06619 53 49 1 3
1609 If Mitch contacts me by pigeon, tell him I have a preexisting pomposity. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1610 As the king's new hammock tester you should know he weighs 425 pounds. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1611 Wake me when you hear him get off the commode. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1612 He's gone, which leaves me in suspense. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1613 I'm actually confident my job performance gives me some leeway to do something ill advised. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1614 A mind needs a hammock as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1615 The far left pillar is staring at us again 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1616 Queen's pissed tonight. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1617 Wake me in an hour or as soon as the king comes back.. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1618 Regardless, this is how the fake news will depict my reign. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1619 It gets so uncomfortable, sometimes I have to capitulate. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1620 Relax. He's on a seventeen day vacation. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1621 I really need to get away 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1622 We call it the Devine Right of swings. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1623 I dreamed we had to relocate to a trailer by the moat. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1624 What about "holiday"? That will be a good name for it. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1625 When the queen comes in I'll be here. Hopefully she'll ask "what's that contraption"? And I'll say "I invented it, your grace, it's for snoozing on, your grace, and I'm selling them for one silver shilling". Thanks for helping me with this Jeremy. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1626 Think we could talk the old man in to putting in a sky-light? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1627 What? He usually mistakes me for his buffoon anyway. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1628 look buddy, I'm guarding my right to decide when there's a credible threat 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1629 Come quick! The Mother-of-Dragons is about to eat another horse heart! 1.1321 0.06619 53 49 1 3
1630 I hate how modern life requires you to work during your vacation 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1631 Sire they just invented something called a bed. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1632 This is my summer palace. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1633 If this hammock made me feel any more free-spirited, I'd have myself fed to a lion. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1634 '' I'm afraid when He gets here, I'll be hanging in a different position." 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1635 I want to be known as a "laid back" ruler. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1636 Ok, ok...may I have a fluffy pillow, pretty please? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1637 Get me an ovaltine before I turn in for the night. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1638 My enemies told me I'd hang. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1639 It's a reasonable accommodation for my narcolepsy. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1640 He's torn between living the life of a king, or enjoying a life of indolence. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1641 Swing low sweet chariot 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1642 Have Thor build me a bigger ones of these, out of wood. 1.1321 0.06619 53 49 1 3
1643 If anyone asks, I'm not sleeping on watch, I'm praying. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1644 Alas, poor hammock. I knew him well. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1645 You know, SOME kings actually have vacation castles. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1646 Wake me up when winter is finally here 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1647 The "Iron Throne for Dummies" recommends starting small with a hammock 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1648 One can never retire too far from the throne! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1649 If the King gets a 'working vacation' then I at least get to pretend to go camping... 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1650 Will you please give the step count thing a rest? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1651 Easy lies the head that wears the crown. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1652 It brings a tear to the king's eye, when I do my Lady of Shalott impersonation 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1653 Wake me when the king gets here. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1654 Hey! Didn't you hear? No need to hang around. King Donald dissolved you, too. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1655 You'll survive guard duty by making the most of your downtime. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1656 It is called nude sun bathing. Deal with it. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1657 If you want to know how the royal sausage is made, Bjorn, stay in the hammock. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1658 Mock me if you will, Mr. Ham. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1659 I don't know what you're talking about. There's no military solution here. They got us ! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1660 It's Five o'Clock Somewhere in the Realm 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1661 Get me a ladder, and quick. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1662 I kept telling you that you should join the union. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1663 Okay, but what if I have to use the restroom? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1664 Wake me up before you go, go 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1665 I think if I relax in a hammock while receiving subjects I'll be seen as a more relatable leader. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1666 Clap your hands if you hear Emperor Trump returning to the playroom! 1.1321 0.06619 53 49 1 3
1667 That stone throne's been in the family for centuries, it's either abdicate or this, my piles are killing me. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1668 It's from hammocker schlemmer and its wonderful! 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1669 I'm the original "millenial". 1.1321 0.06619 53 49 1 3
1670 I'm trying not to flip out. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1671 His Majesty's Royal bathroom breaks are getting longer and longer.... 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1672 You should have joined us man, this union idea will be HUGE! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1673 Do you think this might influence and persuade the swing vote? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1674 Nothing beats a hammock in these lazy, crazy, hazy days of Crusading. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1675 It's tough being king, especially after a big lunch. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1676 Do you think maybe Boots's Game of Thrones addiction has gone a bit too far? 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1677 The physics of a hammock make a 'King Size' impossible. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1678 You didn't wake me for 'Game of Thrones'?! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1679 What did I miss? Where is the king? 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1680 How's the royal stress on a scale of 1 to 10? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1681 I rest when I can because fact-checking is a 24/7 job! 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1682 This is not an abdication. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1683 I was told to "chill out" but I'd close the window if there was one. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1684 I really enjoy getting away each weekend. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1685 I'm tellin' you, once he gets in the bathroom it could be hours... 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1686 I know you wanted a canoe, but this is the best I can do at such short notice 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1687 it may take a while ... this time traveller from 2017 USA promised our king great riches the world has never seen before, if our king will help him change history? 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1688 I honestly thought it would be more... king sized. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1689 I decided to make myself comfortable until the King comes back from the Crusades. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1690 A Nap of Hammocks 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1691 Game of Hammocks? Yes, that is catchy. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1692 What d'ya mean he said, 'Big Mac'? 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1693 Where's the jester? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1694 The palace Renovation has gone on long enough ! I want my gold toilet back ! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1695 Wouldst thou fancy a game of cornhole? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1696 Sir, the rabble has turned on the rousers. Shall I order another pizza? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1697 They don't make mattresses like they used to 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1698 What do you mean she has dragons? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1699 See? I'm not an inflexible autocrat. 1.1321 0.06619 53 49 1 3
1700 Wake me up when he gets back from the throne. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1701 Game of Thrones for Dummies 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1702 Stop singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" right now! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1703 I am way royaller in this thing. Get me a blanket or die. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1704 Wake me when there's someone real on the throne. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1705 Since we're a democracy I can finally do this without a bad conscience. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1706 The throne makes my butt hurt. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1707 Great inventions like great artwork are never recognized in our time. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1708 Aerial surveillance. 1.1321 0.06619 53 49 1 3
1709 Wake me in time for the bris. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1710 I am King and I would rather swing than sit on a hard painful throne. Don't give me any butts about my decision. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1711 Don't look at me like that. My turn is not up at least for three minutes. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1712 This is why the other guards call this their dream job 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1713 It's a Pinterest hack for those curtains around the throne. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1714 Bring me a mead spritzer. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1715 You said it was hanging time. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1716 What light through yonder window breaks? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1717 That hammock will have no sway with the king. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1718 There are perks for working on the third shift! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1719 It makes you look even MORE majestic! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1720 You can have a turn when he gets back. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1721 "Just tell them Sir John Powernap can't provide good advice to the King when he's tired.' 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1722 You get the hang of it after a while. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1723 I always volunteer for the night shift. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1724 I traded my horse for this!!! 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1725 Damocles, given the current political climate, it looks like you are not so eager to accept the king's proposal. Trust me, the sword is on back-order for an unknown amount of time. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1726 Easy lies me, at least. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1727 Relax, this throne things a game. 1.1321 0.06619 53 49 1 3
1728 Uneasy lies the head that swings the hammock! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1729 This is the summer palace, right? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1730 Remind the jester that it's not too late for some light, summer material. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1731 Hamlet's Hammock 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1732 Wastin' away again in ye olde Englandville, searchin' for my lost shaker of saltpeter... 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1733 You'll swing for this. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1734 Do you want the arrows now or later? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1735 Would you mind rocking me gently? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1736 I have no idea why they winked at me. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1737 I can't handle it without Wi-Fi. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1738 I'll have an Ice Tea with lemon. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1739 Kinda cramped in here already. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1740 Go to your community, Irwin. Tell them how casual and fun the elites can be. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1741 Whew. I thought the commoners said there would be havoc in the throne room. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1742 Of course it's a risk. Heavy is the head that wears the helmet. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1743 This siege has made my commute unbearable. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1744 The Queen said we should take separate vacations... 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1745 Being a White House page just isn't the same since they rethemed the Oval Office. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1746 Hand me my spear and I'll guard the hammock, you guard the throne. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1747 I can't believe how well this year's labor negotiations turned out 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1748 ...'twas but 19.99 on Prime Day. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1749 Muck the stables, check the ph in the moat and wake me up when Jake Tapper comes on. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1750 It's the latest directive from the Royal 1st Responders after the Emergency Response-time Study. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1751 Hey, Thor, have you heard of that new invention called a bed? 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1752 Not that kind of swinger! 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1753 Rock me Baby. Rock me all night long. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1754 I give up , give me a push, too many mattresses to choose from. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1755 If his excellency shows up soon, I'll be between my post and post-mortem! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1756 He said he was going to the spa so you know he won't be back for a couple of hours. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1757 The Queen has asked me to remind His Majesty that royal edicts won't decree themselves. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
1758 The commute from Nottingham has become a killer. I'm spending the night here during the week. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
1759 But the king said to keep our guard up. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1760 I've decided to be true to myself. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
1761 It's GOOD when the big guys hits the Hamptons! 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
1762 Oh my lord, is it already casual Friday? 1.1296 0.05938 54 49 3 2
1763 Don't worry about me. . . I can keep guard with one eye shut! 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
1764 Heed my warning. Summer is coming. 1.1296 0.06500 54 50 1 3
1765 You think _you're_ tired? 1.1296 0.05938 54 49 3 2
1766 And then I'm going to eat a sheetcake. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
1767 Tell His Majesty to hold the trumpets. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
1768 Wake me when the Hundred Years' War is over. 1.1250 0.05734 56 51 3 2
1769 Every weekend he plays golf. This way I'll be all rested up when he gets back on Monday. Meanwhile, you'll be dead on your feet. So shut up and let me get my beauty rest. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
1770 I know the King is in danger. I just can't get out of the hammock. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
1771 Just tell the king I'm installing the new slingshot. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
1772 What? The King said to make ourselves at home! 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
1773 I like these new union rules! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1774 It's more efficient to work from home. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1775 Hagar, whistle twice when his Highness approaches. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1776 I was getting varicose veins from all the standing! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1777 You just never know which way Trump is going to swing... 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1778 Wait a minute, did His Majesty say 'fix me a hammock', or 'fix me a ham hock? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1779 That last crusade really left me beat. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1780 They say it's supposed to be good for your back. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1781 My kingdom for some white noise! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1782 I thought I saw a mouse. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1783 Wake me up when our shift is over. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1784 I don't know what he's on about. My head ain't so uneasy lying down in this. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1785 While England 'may swing like a pendulum do', I , as King, snooze to a modest mersey beat that rocks me gently. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1786 This is a lot more comfortable. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1787 AS USUAL, THE RIGHT GUARD HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE LEFT GUARD IS DOING. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1788 I'm not lazy, i'm on a staycation. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1789 So she's at that 'pea and a mattress' stage of dating? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1790 The cat's away, the mice will play, I say. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1791 He never takes me to Bedminster. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1792 Not my king! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1793 Thor, Airbnb needs to know this was not as advertised 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1794 Cancel the river cruise. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1795 You'll be strung up permanently if His Royal Highness catches you in that hammock. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1796 I love the weekends. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1797 Yes, it's a presidential display that I have swung Alt.Right 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1798 Heavy lies the crown, huh Mr. Rumpus? 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1799 Relax, you know this isn't the throne he rules from. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1800 Father's Day gift. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1801 It is even money when the king returns you will be swinging in the other direction. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1802 Far more comfortable than the Iron Throne. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1803 Well, he did say he would hang me. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1804 I enjoyed outdoor naps before my barber warned me of the harmful effects of radiation 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1805 Your time is up. It's my turn. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1806 I'm gonna sleep my way to the top. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1807 No, you may not climb in with me! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1808 Hey Bro- grab me a cold grog... 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1809 Just tell me when the queen comes. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1810 You better pack up your hammock. I hear the King is cutting short his vacation to sign an Executive Order. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1811 Cover me. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1812 You gotta admit this job's a lot sweeter than guarding the other throne room. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1813 The royal renovations are behind schedule but hey, a King's gotta do what a King's gotta do. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1814 You do know, sire, that lullabies haven't yet been invented. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1815 ... and this is why he's "The King of Swing?" 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1816 It don't mean I'm King if I ain't got that swing. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1817 Hope this is what his majesty meant by hanging! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1818 The Crusades can wait. Prithee, yon Coleman with a bounty of wine coolers. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1819 So, you're absolutely sure he's ok with this? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1820 If winter is coming, can summer be far behind? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1821 Come now. Sing 'soft kitty' 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1822 He ordered me hanged, he didn't say how. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1823 Now set some plants around me. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1824 I don't know about your employment situation, but the ad I responded to promised unfettered access to the royal hammock when the king was away. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1825 Just because I don't want to sit in my BIG chair, doesn't mean I don't want pillow. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1826 The throne just has no back support. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1827 Royal Guards Union: Required contractual breaks 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1828 Wake me when The Crusades are over. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1829 I have to sleep here, so that I can wake up His Majesty at 6 a.m., so that he can do his daily morning tweet storm. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1830 Find your beach. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1831 I like a little hammock time. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1832 Really hate my tan line. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1833 Oh, I'm a union delegate. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1834 But it's knight time... 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1835 Has anyone invented the Pina Colada yet??? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1836 If the Pope retired, so can I. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1837 I found my beach. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1838 I tried to set it up near the moat, but there's an alligator-supremacist rally going on. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1839 Wake me when the war is over. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1840 Give me a wake-up call before he gets here. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1841 The King hath gone to relieve his bowels and we all knoweth he will not return in a fortnight. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1842 At least these Dark Ages are good for something. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1843 You're resting in your funeral shroud! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1844 We may have gotten it through collective bargaining, but there's only room for one. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1845 Listen, Brian – in this job, you've got to learn to pace yourself and go with the flow. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1846 I'll prove to you he likes me best. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1847 Number three on my bucket list. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1848 Thrones are so last season. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1849 Well we are working the swing shift. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1850 I'm not sleeping. I'm his majesty's human slingshot ammo. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1851 My kingdom for a Posturepedic 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1852 Someday I’ll show you the picture I have of the king coming out of Miss Lilly’s with a pig under his arm. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1853 Remember, you did not see me sleeping on the job. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1854 My massage therapist said it would help my back. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1855 It's called "glamping." 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1856 Wake me up when 'Game of Thrones' declares a winner. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1857 What do you think 'being a pillar' means? 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1858 I'm trying to convey a laid-back image. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1859 Why are you looking at me like that? The king did say to hang here until he got back. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1860 Get me some palm trees, a fair maiden and a pina colada. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1861 Hey. Did he say 'Good night' or 'Good knight'? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1862 No, don't tell anyone that I'm napping. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1863 It's really quite simple Reggie ... all Ah'm askin' is a few lines of "All frew th'night" and I'll be off, 'fore y'know it. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1864 Should've taken off my socks 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1865 We call them Hammic. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1866 Remember before his coronation when he said he'd never leave the castle? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1867 I told him the Kingdom of Google has them. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1868 Oh don't be so naive, all guards sleep on duty! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1869 Apparently, this is what my subjects do 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1870 Would you have the front desk give me a wake-up call at 7? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1871 Relax! He's trying to explain to MSNBC why he's had this throne installed so I don't expect him back today. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1872 The Royal Footstool, Sire ? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1873 What the cat fur is going on here? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1874 Enough beheadings. Time to relax. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1875 I'm too royal to sit upright! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1876 I want to be rocked. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1877 I suppose you regret not joining the union when you had the chance... 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1878 Did you hear about Brannon? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1879 Wake up my sire! Jon Snow is about to be murdered...again. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1880 They said he was regal, but actually he's nothing but a royal pain in the ass! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1881 Warn me before the court arrives and I'll get back on the throne. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1882 Hey, look at me. I'm the King of Swing! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1883 He's depressed because he doesn't have an heir. I guess we shouldn't have fixed him. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1884 He said he wasn't coming back for a while. 1.1200 0.06785 50 47 0 3
1885 Wake me when he returns from the crusade! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1886 I wouldn't go talk to the queen right now. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1887 I opted for this en lieu of tea time. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1888 I'm just testing it, for His royal pain in the behind. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1889 Yes, it's a fair trade, organic hammock now leave me alone. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1890 Ready the chariots. We're going to the castle in the tropics. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1891 What the hell are you doing? 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1892 Will you be slack lining today as well sir? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1893 Jerry, would you be a lamb and get my book? It's all the way over the other side of the room near the iron maiden and I'm already comfy and cozy. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1894 Didn't you get that memo? Her Majesty is bringing back casual Fridays to boost morale around here. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1895 It was far more amusing on "YouTube". 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1896 Hey when I get up I have to hit the throne too. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1897 You got this. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1898 It's called the Game of Hammocks! 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1899 Any job worth lying down on is worth lying down on well. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1900 "The better to see things from different angles". 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1901 I'll take the knight shift. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1902 His mistake was telling the church he was a swinger. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1903 Wow, I really needed this interregnum. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1904 Personally, I like the new management. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1905 Good Knight 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1906 Sit in my throne and warm it up, okay? 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1907 Doesn't pay well, but good benefits. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1908 That's a hanging offense. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1909 The union also has a great dental program. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1910 It'll have to do for now. Memory foam is still centuries away. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1911 Sire, opposition is mounting. Perhaps it's time to start acting kingly. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1912 Hand me my spear, would you? I'm too cumfy. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1913 Don't give me that look. The sunshine isn't warm enough to make you jealous. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1914 Who says I'm his favorite. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1915 Relax! The big guy's hunting for a virgin of which we are in very short supply. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1916 I just wasn't ready for vacation to end yet! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1917 It's comfortable, versatile and ionly cost me a king's ransom. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1918 I don't know how they do things at the Netflix Estate, Eldon, but here we value our rest. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1919 I'm ready for the fans and the dancing virgins. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1920 Why can't I issue a death sentence from here? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1921 I aspire to be a non-standard bearer. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1922 My sundial died again. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1923 It's my summer bed. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1924 Using the chamber pot is awkward. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1925 Feels good, man! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1926 If he asks, tell'em a giant spider got me. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1927 If anyone wants me tell them I have a headache. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1928 hand me the controller 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1929 So you try sitting on the throne all day! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1930 Well it started as a democracy. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1931 I can't stand doing this job anymore. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1932 Let me know if he comes and I'll fall out. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1933 Just yell if we're being invaded. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1934 You know, he could be back from the Crusade any minute now. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1935 I told you I would not do a good job 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1936 My union dues aren't so stupid now are they?! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1937 King's at the golf course again. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1938 Did you know Donald Trump wants to buy this throne and have it placed in the Oval office during the redecoration of the White House? 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1939 Lazy? It's called a power nap, you idiot!" 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1940 A Bright Spot in the Dark Ages: The First Stay-cation 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
1941 Guard -- Be so kind. I left my sun specs under the pillow! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1942 Got it on summer clearance- it's actually quite comfortable. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1943 "I ordered a royal cruise but I didn't think they would take the throne room". 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
1944 I can't sleep because the drapes don't match the carpet! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
1945 If I say anything in my sleep, you should take it as a false diversion for what I'm actually thinking. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
1946 Less heavy is the head that has a hammock. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
1947 It was delivered in two days from the Amazon. 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
1948 I think I'm safe. I am not the messenger. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
1949 And get Bannon on the phone! 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
1950 Is that a King size or Queen? 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
1951 Relax, Charlie. It's the Interregnum. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
1952 You can take the throne,but watch out for the spider down the cushion. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
1953 That's it! - then, you just pull back and let go. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
1954 They never said anything about laying down 1.1132 0.06409 53 50 0 3
1955 Uneasy lies the crown. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
1956 This is our union's idea of a fringe benefit? 1.1111 0.05711 54 50 2 2
1957 It's Sir Bannon again Sire and he insists on seeing you this time. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1958 I requested a room with a king-size bed and I wind up with a mini pea pod hammock. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1959 You're not a meme. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1960 "Sitting on that throne all week with the crown really wears me down. I henceforth decree Fridays shall be a casual day for the King. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1961 When he said you would swing, I don't think that is what he had in mind. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1962 I just don't want summer to end. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1963 But we can't find a gluten-free recipe that we like for cake. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1964 I was promoted from royal food taster to hammock swinger. 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
1965 Hard work or smart work ? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1966 Now I just need this week's New Yorker. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1967 Tell the queen my banana sling is ready. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1968 Obviously, you've never been in the Boy Scouts. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1969 What are you looking at? HR told me I must take a 10 minute rest period every four hours! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1970 Let's go with VLAD, THE HAMMOCKER 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1971 I still can't believe he agreed to the new union rules. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1972 I said tie up the Cossacks, but this will do. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1973 It's s'more time, sir. 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
1974 This week I thought I'd cry hammock. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1975 Is this your first Caribbean Cruise? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1976 My back's been acting up lately. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1977 Keep an eye out for any arrows 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1978 Pass me the royal pillow. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1979 Wake me up if you hear any Vikings. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1980 Just another day in paradise. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1981 I'll pillage this afternoon. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1982 Sitting is worse than smoking. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1983 I negociated for a health care safety net and he said "I grant the a hammock!" 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1984 I'm hoping the princess will believe I'm a pea. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1985 I'M A BANANA! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1986 They said this was the oldest ship in the navy, but c'mon... 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1987 Then he told me to tell Catherine and Ann, ALL of them are named Catherine or Ann! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1988 I wanted to know what it would be like in an Air B&B. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1989 I'm on a staycation 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1990 It's comfortable, but do you think the king is getting enough back support in this thing. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1991 NOW Rock my world! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1992 I command you to find the architect & behead him. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
1993 Swing shift? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1994 Your Majesty, beg pardon, your Royal Throne's back from the Royal Dry Cleaners. They got out Her Majesty's blood. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1995 I don't understand why the queen refuses to sleep with me. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1996 Umm, Reginald, that's not what he meant when he said 'At ease, soldier!' 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1997 The union did provide for a break now and then. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1998 Just mind your business and hand me my spear please. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
1999 I always knew that you were a knight in slumbering armor. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2000 I am not milking that drawbridge thing! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2001 "It's my Royale Hammock for my Royale Catnap, Goode Knight! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2002 Trump is so manic, I take get rest when I can. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2003 We need to talk about your work ethic. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2004 Will you wake me up in an hour? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2005 Lance old boy, would you mind getting me a pint of ale? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2006 If I'm going to do back-to-back shifts, I'm not going to do guard duty standing up the entire time! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2007 Upset with rumbles of revolution, my King relaxes & swings in his hammock today. How can I tell him he might swing from the gallows tomorrow ?? Little does he suspect how 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2008 It's called a working vacation. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2009 I may be king, but to my wife I'm just a royal pain in the butt. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2010 They said I could be the hangman. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2011 Wake me if he comes back. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2012 Hey Hans, you ever get horny? I mean like reeeeeeeeally horny? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2013 I just need a little island time. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2014 Even a king deserves to swing every so often. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2015 Even at leisure the regal are bound between a rock and hard place. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2016 I hope he didn't say "ham hock" 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2017 I intend to go out swinging! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2018 Some reigns are best experienced through the filter of sleep. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2019 Oh, come on, Lou. Just hum me a few bars of 'California Dreaming'. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2020 Yes Sir, It's The Game of Hammocks. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2021 They told me the other seat was taken. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2022 I'm back on in five, when the siege resumes. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2023 Are you familiar with 'Rock-a-Bye Baby?' 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2024 The last failed hammock tester got promoted to rack tester. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2025 I am guarding the throne, just horizontally. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2026 As if being a security guard isn't bad enough, I always get the swing shift. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2027 Game of Hammocks doesn't have quite the same ring, does it? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2028 Who's the jester now? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2029 Wake me up if there's a need to stand too. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2030 Tell me the one about the Knights of the Round Table again ... 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2031 Just another perq for guarding the window side of the castle! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2032 Cosworth, I so want to be Gilligan. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2033 I mean, how much security does a nine-year old need? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2034 The king kept me up all night with his birdy ideas. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2035 Don't look at me that way, we were both thinking it 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2036 I favor a more laissez-faire approach to governing. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2037 Nowadays, with the damn printing presses, there's no getting away from work. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2038 I told you a Facebook account for him was a bad idea 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2039 Want me to scrub yer back? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2040 Up so early? He's playing golf you know. 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
2041 Half the court's lost their heads; I think I deserve a mental health day 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2042 Well my podiatrist took an oath too, okay? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2043 I call this a "Power Nap." 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2044 Heavy is the head the wears the crown, still, even here. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2045 ... and then they froze his assets to pay for the cat toys ... 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2046 I miss the real trees! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2047 It was 70% off at Wal-Mart. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2048 I've invented the guild 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2049 So, you don't like King of Hammocks as a title? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2050 If I had a hammock . . . 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2051 Early Glamping 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2052 I was getting throne sores, OK? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2053 The swing is dead. Long live the swing. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2054 You book a bleeding castle on airbnb and pay a f..king fortune for it and they give you a bedroom with NO black out blinds!! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2055 My shifts in ten minutes 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2056 It will take a few months for the Mai tai ingredients, my liege, but I will take care of it. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2057 The King is up at 6, I want a 5 wake up call. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2058 Don't look at me like that! He had the mutton, so he'll be in there for a while. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2059 No, I won't carry you to the chamber pot. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2060 How about you? Ever dream of not being prepared for a test? 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
2061 Relax. He's working from home today. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2062 David Duke to see you, Mr. Bannon 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
2063 If it's the Dark Ages, then why can't I bloody get to sleep at night? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2064 Mattress tester was his dream job. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2065 This is why we don't sleep on the job. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2066 It's nice, but I think I prefer the normal toilet. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2067 The king said if I took another break I would be hanged. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2068 If you fall out there's definitely a workman's comp claim. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2069 This feels more like just hanging out. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2070 I'm pulling a swing shift. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2071 My kingdom for a push. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2072 After another challenging day of ordering the execution of three members of the press, supervising the construction of a bigger moat around the castle, and making his kingdom great again, the king took a well-deserved nap. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2073 If the king finds you lying down on the job,he will have you in shackles. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2074 It's only the first round of the "Game of Thrones 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2075 On the other hand, it's possible that the king said, 'Cry Havoc!' 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
2076 Something tells me King Richard III isn't coming back form the wars. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2077 It's all the rage in Luxemburg 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2078 It's worth changing my name from Croesus to Hammock for ten million. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2079 I thought they said TOWER nap. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2080 Wake me when Game of Thrones is on. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2081 Have you seen my blankie? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2082 Your Highness, hammock repair guy is here 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2083 I rule better when I hang out! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2084 OK, in YOUR version , the world rests on three pillars. This proves it can done with two! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2085 I said pillows, not pillars! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2086 I'm trying it out for festival season. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2087 So here's my hang-up. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2088 This is not what I meant when I said I need a vacation. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2089 Stan you go ahead and be a "good knight;" I'll have a "good night." 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2090 It IS more comfortable, but really, The Hammock Empire? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2091 For the last time, King David's slingshot is not thy sleep chamber. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2092 This beats sitting on the throne all day!! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2093 I'm the new bed-tester; who are you? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2094 It's in case he wants to send late-night proclamations. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2095 He was going to sell the throne on ebay, but now he can't decide if he can let it go. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2096 That chair is overrated. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2097 It's casual friday. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2098 These "stay-cations" aren't all they're cracked up to be 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2099 Her majesty is very angry. I cancelled HBO so she can't watch Game of Thrones. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2100 Let me know when my wife is approaching. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2101 I miss the Crusades 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2102 I'll just tell the King that I was inspired by the Ottoman Empire 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2103 You stand guard. My feet are killing me, it's not like he'll notice. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2104 You try sleeping with the Queen. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2105 What, you can't sing it because I'm not a baby? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2106 There is no such thing as "speed golf." 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2107 Well, the army has its definition of secure, and the Navy has it's own 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2108 I'm hoping this will help me empathize. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2109 The chair's nice but the bed sucks. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2110 Egad! That mead's got a kick... 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2111 Hamhocks! I said hamhocks! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2112 My doctor says I don't get enough sleep. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2113 Great bed but we need more flexible armor 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2114 I may be in the doghouse, but it's a royal doghouse. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2115 The suspense is killing me! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2116 So that's what it's like on the far right. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2117 He'll be on the road a few months. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2118 The arrows are all yours 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2119 Piles 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2120 Wake me if there's a coup. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2121 I dreamt I went to Manderley again. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2122 It's really more of a "staycation". 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2123 You're just jealous I thought of it first. 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
2124 What are you staring at? You know how outrageous fortune goes: first it's an arrow, then it's a sling. I'm just trying to roll with it. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2125 I thought glamping would be more fun than this. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2126 Ham hock? Damn these helmets! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2127 Plump up the throne pillows, will you? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2128 I couldn't sleep a wink last night because we had that silly fight 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2129 It's one of the perks of serving King Frederick The Chillaxed. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2130 Bathophobia kept me out of the navy but I admit I do miss the hammocks. 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
2131 You'll understand when you're a night-watchman 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2132 Just in case your wondering, this hammock sleeps too.. 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
2133 As I read the employment contract, we are entitled to one 20-minute break per shift, king or no king. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2134 Who want to steal a throne? 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
2135 Monarchs proliferate better in pods. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2136 You try sitting in that hard chair eight hours a day! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2137 I said, "crudite", not "coup d'é·tat." 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2138 Quick! Toss me that pillow. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
2139 I got kicked off the island. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
2140 Hey, it beats an iron throne. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
2141 Sire, we're out of ravens. You can't send any more messages. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
2142 Tell the Media I'm meeting with my advisers; not napping. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
2143 "It's for the knights". 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
2144 I find that after a short nap I'm much more alert and effective. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
2145 I'm so glad that I am finally learning to relax. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
2146 This industry has been ripe for disruption since the Visigoths. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
2147 If we're going to live like kings...make that two slices of avocado toast. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
2148 He's really a benevolent dictator. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
2149 Remember he's at his Trump National Golf Club and estate in Bedminster, N.J. until at least Monday. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
2150 Do you think he would mind? 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
2151 Tell the guards that no one enters the royal chambers, unless its a food delivery 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
2152 Could you get me a Bud Knight? 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
2153 I pee out of my ass! 1.1042 0.06131 48 45 1 2
2154 Who negotiated our vacation policy? 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
2155 The king wanted me to find alternative ways to hang people. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
2156 ¨My job description is totally flexible regarding my duties¨ 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
2157 ...and I won't wear the crown either. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
2158 Tell me a story about the times of olde. 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
2159 Last night the wizard made the moon disappear. I fear tonight it's me? 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
2160 Now I know why uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
2161 Don't tell the King I'm participating in a " Lie In ". 1.1000 0.05890 50 47 1 2
2162 I think he liked playing Macavity better than Henry V. 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
2163 This is much easier on the hemorrhoids. Think the people will go for it as the new Easy Throne? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2164 What'd I miss? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2165 I don't want to be late for court. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2166 At least I'm not golfing, like "you know who." 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2167 So Caldron, know you see why I am known as the "swingest" Monarch on the block! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2168 I'm pretty sure he's at Mar-a-Lago. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2169 To sleep, perchance to slack off. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2170 read me the story about the prince would you 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2171 Nobody dies in Game of Hammocks. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2172 I thought I was ordering a ham hock. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2173 The King asked me to test out his hemlock hammock. What's hemlock? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2174 Its great for riding out those long, winter sieges.... 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2175 It's lonely at the top. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2176 Do not look askance, Agnar. One has no need of spears when cradled by the pillars of government. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2177 the kings busy for 100 years, its ok! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2178 Anybody seen the King's robe? Hey! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2179 Wake me when the siege is over. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2180 Working holiday. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2181 Whew! I dreamed we lost the king. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2182 I'm just having my "knight"cap 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2183 Do you think I have time to order up an Arnold Palmer before Cersei gets back? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2184 This democracy thing won't last, he'll back. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2185 do you think my subjects will be throne by this? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2186 Power napping on the job again. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2187 Oh please, he's golfing at Mar-a-Lago all week. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2188 I'm telling ya, Olaf, the title is c-e-r-e-m-o-n-i-a-l. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2189 I do believe, sir, you've overstayed your visit. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2190 You know, you've changed ever since you've returned from Fyre Festival. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2191 you might've went a little overboard with the Royal pencil and eraser this time 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2192 Time Warner wired the wrong throne room with Fox News. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2193 I can’t wait until my turn on the hammock starts on February 30th. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2194 His Royal High/lowness my butt. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2195 Maybe...Could you just hum 'Rock-A-By-Baby? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2196 If he comes back, just tell him I'm on my morning break. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2197 Wake me up before you go, go 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2198 He's binging on Game of Thrones, so I'll be fine. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2199 For starters, let me tell you about the lumbar support. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2200 Lancelot needs your err...lance!..he's at the gates! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2201 I opted for a stay-cation this year. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2202 Let's go over this again: You do your business on the throne. Remember? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2203 I'm sleeping in the reign 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2204 His Royal Highness may not buy it that England swings like a hammock do. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2205 I think you've taken this union thing too far, we're still on the clock 'till 5. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2206 What, you've never heard of a "working vacation"? Head's will roll Mr. Bannon. Could you hit the Whites on your way out! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2207 If I'm not supposed to do it, why did they put these pillars so close together? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2208 Heavy lies the butt also. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2209 Back side. Front side. Side side. Many Sides. Many sides. And I'm just laying down on the job as the boss does. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2210 what's the delivery charge? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2211 Oh, really? Well, in my moral universe, it's called "Honoring Our Veterans". 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2212 For the last time ... I don't know what this 'Game of Thrones' is! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2213 I can't be a king if I ain't got no swing 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2214 Verily I say, there's nothing like roughing it! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2215 ...they've started eating...you got 5 minutes, then it's my turn. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2216 I gave my two weeks. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2217 No matter how many visualization CDs you listen to - this is NOT the beach! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2218 When I first heard 'Mail Order Catalogue' I thought it was just where to buy a new hauberk, but it's turned into a real game changer. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2219 Ok, that's enough for one KNIGHT! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2220 No, the rental ad did NOT say it was a studio. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2221 Your pineapples have arrived, Sire. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2222 Wake me up when you hear his footsteps! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2223 Well they won't let me sit in that chair. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2224 "In the game of hammocks, you either relax or you die". 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2225 He assigned me to monitor the alt-right. 1.0930 0.06499 43 41 0 2
2226 We're in trouble, it's twin-sized at best. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2227 What with the decline in monarchy and all, figured whats the point? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2228 When the cat's away, the mice will play 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2229 ... what? ... where ... ? ... Oh, yes, ... very funny, Frank! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2230 Well, it's not like HE does anything worthwhile, either! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2231 Would you like me to bring the courtyard to you as well, sire? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2232 If I like this, what say we go glamping for real next weekend? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2233 Thanks for filling in during my staycation. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2234 So you say the cook is punishing you for mocking the ham? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2235 Figured I could hang it from the monarchtree 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2236 Maybe the tree-huggers had a point? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2237 You want a Tito's and tonic? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2238 I'm goin 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2239 Are you sure this is what his majesty meant by taking the night off? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2240 Jerry, give me a push will you. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2241 I miss the pillaging. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2242 Let the royal Staycation commence. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2243 Should I call for the throne transport service ? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2244 It was easier to get this than unscramble the difficulty of buying a mattress. 1.0930 0.06499 43 41 0 2
2245 Tell me more about this "Teamsters Union." 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2246 Your highness it's time to turn over 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2247 It's a new fad, they call it 'glamping'. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2248 Could you bring me his majesty's pillow for my head ? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2249 Louis the Late, c'est lui. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2250 I thought hamhocks would taste better! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2251 I said, "Get me a ham hock!" 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2252 I didn't know sleeping on the job was a benefit -I'm going to confirm that with H.R. before HRH returns. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2253 Look down in the cellar and see if we have any wide screen TV's. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2254 Sire, this time, there is no catch... 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2255 Fetch me the royal badminton set. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2256 Leave me, Guard. I'm resting. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2257 I'm always first in line when there's an upgrade 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2258 It's a new thing I just invented. I call it a working vacation. Just hangin' around, watchin' time go by. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2259 Mimosa, Mai Tai, Marguerita what do you recommend? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2260 It's part of the shift away from Gothic architecture. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2261 It's your turn of the sentry. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2262 He's obviously wanting an heir. Should we explain that visit to the vet?' 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2263 I'm starting to hate this studio 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2264 I'm being strategic not lazy. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2265 Defenestration before relaxation, pal. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2266 You were always the king's favorite! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2267 I'm taking my vacation days 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2268 You burn more calories in your sleep, you know. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2269 You want Rockaby Baby? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2270 This is the last time that I use Airbnb! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2271 airbnb hath scorned me! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2272 It wouldn't kill you to sing a little somethin'. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2273 The king knows I have a thing for low hangers. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2274 I may be a Targaryen but I'm not stupid! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2275 i just wish he'd get a recliner. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2276 It's better for my posture. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2277 A new perk on my new contract. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2278 Mohammad does not go to the tropics - the tropics go to Mohammad. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2279 I'm union, he can't say anything about this. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2280 That throne is too itchy 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2281 Never take a vacation, or they'll figure out they don't need you. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2282 I hear the king wants to sleep with his daughter. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2283 The King is dead. And I don't feel so good. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2284 We spent too much on that damn throne! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2285 It's the royal hemorrhoids. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2286 one day the rest of the world will discover this :) 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2287 I'm telling you, the heir mattress is much more comfortable. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2288 I'm on a break.... 1.0930 0.06499 43 41 0 2
2289 I don't think this will alter the fact that my cock is burning like a sonfoabitch. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2290 He called me a good man and told me to relax. I think that means he's going to fire me. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2291 I'm not worried. He's out playing golf and won't be back for at least a week. 1.0930 0.06499 43 41 0 2
2292 Is my 10 minutes break over yet? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2293 "Today's orgy was exhausting. I need to catch 40 winks before leaving to pillage the village". 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2294 You may now bring me my broth. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2295 Let's relax, King is out golfing again! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2296 Well then, should try out the other torture devices. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2297 His Majesty ain't gonna like you lyin' down on the job. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2298 I dreamt the king was kidnapped! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2299 If I have to stand, you should too, Thor. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2300 Game ON! Hang the 'Gone Bananas' flag. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2301 My Dr. Scholl’s aren’t working very well today. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2302 I said, hang between the poplars, not the pillars. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2303 Whaddya mean, the third shift's got it easy? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2304 NO! I'm NOT going to make bird calls while you swing there, you lazy lout!! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2305 There's a rumor that your position as chief strategist is in jeopardy. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2306 When does the Royal sleepover begin? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2307 I have a royal pain from guarding the Royal Pain. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2308 If you want my opinion, this working vacation thing isn't everything it's cut out to be. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2309 Let me know when Circe comes. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2310 Relax! His Majesty has gone to sit on the Royal 'throne' so you have plenty of time for a nap... 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2311 I heard the new king is big on work-life balance. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2312 Darn, caught sleeping on the job again. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2313 Oh please, like Cersei will ever notice. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2314 I destroyed 6 kingdoms to win the game of hammocks? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2315 It might be comfortable but it's not regal. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2316 Yeah, I got it at Hammocker Schlemmocker ! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2317 I fight like a soldier, but I snore like an army. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2318 It relaxes the mind. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2319 Wait a minute....I thought you said that he already left for the crusades!!! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2320 "Hammock time shall be given upon payment of thine union dues" sayeth my Union Rep. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2321 So, this is what he meant by 'sleep tight'... 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2322 That squeaky, revolving door of abdication's been so active lately I can't sleep. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2323 We union workers get regular rest breaks. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2324 THE KING HAS ORDERED A SWING SHIFT GUARD ! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2325 Seniority has its perks. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2326 Off with his head sounds sounds kinder from a hammock. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2327 Rather than living in the lap of luxury, I'd rather be known as a swinger. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2328 Can I bring you some wine to go with your impertinence? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2329 Drs mandate indefinite enforced isolation for 'faking' Presidential leadership. . 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2330 Maybe if we change his name to Brump he'll get over it. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2331 When talking in my sleep my commands are terrific! Huge! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2332 Egad, he must be out tweeting again. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2333 Wake me when he's gone! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2334 Some of the royal perks are so overrated. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2335 #While the king is golfing I am resting. We both didn't realize how difficult this job is." 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2336 That's it! I c me a Sleep Number bed. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2337 I don't want to be "queen for a day." I AM "queen for life." 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2338 Sedgwick, old boy, methinks I could easily adjust to becoming one of the king's own. 1.0930 0.06499 43 41 0 2
2339 Wake me up if they kill a main character. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2340 I want my throne slung like this. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2341 My coxodynia is acting up. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2342 What do you mean, I'm snoring? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2343 Very nice, but now may I please have a ham hock? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2344 Tell them it's a working staycation. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2345 Your supposed to be " The Lion King", not the lying king. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2346 How's the royal hemorrhoids, Your Majesty? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2347 Let me know when his royal nibs shows up. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2348 Well he is in forida for the winter 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2349 I understand, your grace, but we simply don't have enough room in the apartment for three dragons. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2350 It’s an acknowledgement, not a development. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2351 OK, you thought he said "I'm going to the bathroom." I heard "I'm going to Baluchistan". Whatever. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2352 His morning activities include trashing CNN, railing about fake news and playing chicken with North Korea. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2353 Wake me up if you hear the Queen coming... She might want her cape back. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2354 Wake me up for the Coronation. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2355 I like it hot off the press. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2356 I had that dream again: I'm chasing a little white ball around with a stick. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2357 Wake me if they get past the portcullis. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2358 It's not a vacation in New Jersey, but It'll do. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2359 Wait till i get the memory foam mattress and pillow. "Wait till I get the memory foam mattress and pillow. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2360 I had this dream that both sides came for the kingdom. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2361 I'm taking a little time off for bad behavior. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2362 Okay, okay, we'll banish the dog. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2363 Sergeant, get me a Canada Dry, no ice. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2364 Wake me when he quits! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2365 I think I'll re-up for this night shift. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2366 She said something about "eating cake" and hasn't been back since. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2367 Great idea! But where will the queen sleep? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2368 I work the royal night shift. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2369 Sorry, your Majesty, the Queen still has a headache and the concubines are indisposed too. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2370 The Workers with Disabilities act says that "Reasonable accommodation must be provided". 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2371 It's a little breezy in here; can you please get me a blanket? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2372 because the ship of state makes me a bit seasick 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2373 Yes, your highness. It is time to reverse roles. I feel much more comfortable guarding the door. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2374 I can't say that I'm surprise 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2375 At least this dosen't hurt my hemorrhoids. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2376 No, no, I'm quite certain she said, "OFF with his HEAD." 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2377 He may be the King however I think gold dust litter is a bit much. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2378 At ease, Captain (?). 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2379 Can you sing me a lullaby? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2380 Knights gotta nap. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2381 Throne Room they build. How's about a bedroom? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2382 Just tell the Queen I've got a headache. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2383 Help! This thing is a royal pain. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2384 The knight time is not as scary as you might think. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2385 I'll take the night watch. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2386 Rest now. We leave at dawn for new jobs. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2387 Is it 2020 yet? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2388 Don't worry, I can reach my spear in seconds. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2389 Do you hammock me, sir? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2390 Sorry old chap but my hemorrhoids are killing me. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2391 Relax! I told ya - he's binge watching Thrones. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2392 I think I just achieved the perfect work-like balance! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2393 A man's hammock is his castle, you know. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2394 The physician who advised this for insomnia has added mal de mer to my nights. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2395 u up? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2396 Tell the peasants that Nenceforth I wish to be known as King William the Mellow. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2397 Know any lullabies? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2398 C'mon. We're union. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2399 I said "Let's get s'mores, not some Moors! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2400 What! Don't look at me like that. I swing, you swing, then we'll all swing. There can only be one swinger. Besides I have two pillars on my side and a bad back. Go figure. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2401 It caught me, now what? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2402 Only reigning cat? I thought this came with a dog. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2403 Other start up castles say it boosts productivity in the kingdom. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2404 Before you take your leave, would you mind giving me a push? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2405 Royal jealousy won't win a seat in ye majesty's hammock. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2406 Don't worry about it. He spends his weekends at Mar Lago. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2407 I've always been a Type B personality. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2408 Wake me when he shows. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2409 Our interior designer isn't sure that thrones go with mid-century modern. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2410 Waiting for the Barbarian 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2411 Wake me if the king is coming. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2412 You heard him... Till Birnam wood move to Dunsinane! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2413 Uh-oh...do I hear dragon wings? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2414 Tell the queen I'll decide on her beheading after my nap. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2415 Does this demean the office? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2416 Let me know if he's coming. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2417 "False alarm Prince Charles. It was only a cold". 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2418 Now I get what they mean by "weight of the role" 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2419 That seat is too hard! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2420 Most assuredly, I shall hang separately. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2421 So, what if I was the one who borrowed part of a catapult? After all, I am the king. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2422 By Thor's Hammock, this IS cozy! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2423 I'm waiting to be knight nighted. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2424 You can knock off, you know, you're the only one in line 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2425 That position is bad for your lumbar. Try the throne. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2426 If he can abdicate, so can I. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2427 Can I trouble you for a hug? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2428 Hammocks are the new rack. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2429 This is my way of showing my subjects that I'm on the job 24/7 1.0930 0.06499 43 41 0 2
2430 It beats those big box stores' spongy rectangles. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2431 Then I guess we interpret "Wait here" differently. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2432 "The King said he wanted a ham hock, not a.....oh well 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2433 You fool, it's hemlock not hammock. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2434 Can you pass me the pillow, please. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2435 Wake me when he gets back from Mar a Largo. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2436 I'm pregnant. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2437 The Justified Ancients of MuMu taught: A King with a pain in his rear, is a pain in the rear to all his people. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2438 Wake me when the infidels get here. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2439 The drapes are more comfortable. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2440 Where's the King? I hope he's in the river giving me Aces full of kings, that's where.. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2441 Because I'm never going to find two palm trees. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2442 If he's been away long enough for me to put up this hammock, then he'll be away long enough for me to take a nap. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2443 Can't get away from the office. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2444 Have someone from the dungeon come up to give me a push. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2445 Power napping again, Sire? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2446 Nah, I'm not worried... my power naps are much shorter than the king's. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2447 Wasn't the order for ham hocks? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2448 Tell Her Royal Highness that I'm not speaking to her, either. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2449 I needed a break from the Game of Thrones 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2450 I think it's because his genitals are so small. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2451 His royal raiment is quite comfy. I hope he won't mind the lice. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2452 Do you know any lullabies? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2453 THIS IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE PLUM PUDDING !! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2454 We feed him Count Chockula. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2455 I dreamt that he baked us a cake. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2456 It's a reasonable workplace accommodation; my back hurts. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2457 You'll get your turn right before the evening session. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2458 I'm waiting for my lullaby 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2459 Told you he had no clothes. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2460 Feel free to rest longer. Donald is going on and on spouting off his medieval ideology at the press conference. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2461 What's so bad about having an absentee ruler?" 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2462 Tired of the complaints about me going to Mar a Lago. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2463 This makes me feel closer to my base. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2464 Stand if you want, but all he said was guard the throne. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2465 Get my glasses. I'll watch from here. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2466 The robe might have been overkill. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2467 I already know what happens next episode, doesn't look good for us Lannisters. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2468 My kingdom for a fan paddle. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2469 "Your Highness, I know we messed up, but Off with our Heads, really? 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2470 A throne is just too ostentatious. Give me a comfy hammock any day. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2471 When will the bedroom renovation be finished? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2472 As king, I have first dibs on the best view of the eclipse 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2473 No worries; boss is in Jersey for 17 days. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
2474 It helps with my posture. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
2475 Strange, I keep dreaming that its 5 o'clock somewhere! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2476 Wake mw when she gets here. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2477 I'll never get used to this memory foam throne 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2478 They say I am the leader of the ship of state, but having to sleep in a hammock still doesn't feel right... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2479 No one will bend a knee to the hammock, sire. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2480 Don't you understand what "Out Of Office" means? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2481 I asked for ham hocks, but this will do. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2482 If you think he's coming, hark. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2483 Wake me when the Queen arrives. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2484 The real estate markets are crazy in the Kingdom! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2485 We get straw and hammocks, and the king gets Tempur-Pedic mattresses and memory foam pillows. I'm sensing a revolt. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2486 I'm not feeling the swing. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2487 Wake me if someone tries to steal my throne. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2488 I look at it this way. If his royal butt can rest why not mine. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2489 Change in plans Guard, cancel the Coral Reefer Band. it may elicit suspicion. Dismounting momentarily. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2490 Better get up. Trump it putting on the 18th hole. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2491 HHHHHHHHHH 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2492 Babe, can you grab my phone? I left it in the North Tower. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2493 He said, "At ease." 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2494 Easy does it. I'll tell the Army you're ..... What should I tell them? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2495 It's cool. He's tweeting. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2496 He's right. This palace is a real dump. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2497 I told you watching the Lion King was a bad idea. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2498 Your feet might hurt, but those chairs aren't comfortable either 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2499 your king needs to chillax 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2500 The guy who invented dry cleaning is a genius! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
2501 When in the course of human events, Mr. Fluffy Buttons, it becomes necessary... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2502 $7.95, Overstock.com 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
2503 At least my throne is portable. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
2504 Guard, wake me when "Game of Thrones" comes on. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
2505 Hope The King does not come home from The Crusades ! 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
2506 If we're removing everyone who's unfit, you'll want to get one of these, too. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
2507 I think I got the hang of this job. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
2508 Did I hang all my wives? 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
2509 Don't get any ideas, I already have a patent pending. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
2510 Could you try "Rockabye Baby" one more time? 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
2511 The stakes are lower, but no one dies in Tournament of Hammocks. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
2512 To be frank, the "palace intrigue" has been anything but. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
2513 Sorry, I negotiated my benefits when he was five. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
2514 Room for TWO in this fuck hammock! 1.0889 0.06214 45 43 0 2
2515 I knew we should've chose the other AirBNB 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
2516 Have you taken care of those thronebugs yet? 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
2517 Who would've thought the easiest way to dethrone a King is with a hammock. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
2518 I'm retiring before Daenerys gets here. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
2519 The King paid a hundred pieces of gold for this? 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
2520 Oh, I thought you said a bed of sails! 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
2521 The Queen says hers is too small for both of us. 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
2522 His royal highness took a crossword puzzle with him to the throne. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
2523 One more joke about the nap pod, and it's off with YOUR head. 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
2524 When does Game of Thrones come on? 1.0851 0.05116 47 44 2 1
2525 Doing R&D, apparently no one starts a revolution from a hammock. 1.0851 0.05116 47 44 2 1
2526 Nap time is coming. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
2527 I just lost my enthusiasm when HBO didn't give in to the ransom demand for Game of Thrones. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
2528 Yes, the king knows now that I breed spiders. No, I don't think he will be back very soon. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
2529 Uniforms, helmets, spears, a hammock and a view of the throne... And they say Medieval working conditions were tough. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2530 Your Majesty, I'm pleased you finally got off the throne. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2531 Relax, he's not back until Monday. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2532 Have you seen my tiki torch? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2533 Well, the King said he'd hang me for my laziness. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2534 I needed a change of scenery 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2535 I ain't worried, you can 'ear the blowhard from 2 miles, and besides we ain't seen the likes of him round ere since the new moon last January, what? 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2536 I'm just semi-retired. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2537 Tell anyone the Queen and I had a fight, and it's off with your head. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2538 For my part, I find "Easy lies the head that wears a crown." 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2539 I miss the Navy days... 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2540 Early to bed,And Early to rise, Makes guarding the King Paradise! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2541 Easy lies the head that wears one of these silly pointy things. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2542 This is I, Hammock the Dane. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2543 The Queen has a better one. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2544 Nobody ever mentioned an Iron Hammock. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2545 Sire, we should stow the hammock. Winter is coming. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2546 Can you change the sound machine from Wife of Bath's sewing rhythms to Beowulf's soothing sword fight? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2547 The damn throne gives me hemorrhoids. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2548 They also serve who only swing and sway. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2549 I told you the taxidermist didn't understand English. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2550 Thanks for the nightcap. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2551 It's supposed to help keep me grounded. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2552 Just breaking in my 100% pure Cossack hammock from made by the Amazon. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2553 He's always on vacation. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2554 The therapist says he's suffering from Big Cat Syndrome. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2555 "Just resting up for the next 'Game of Thrones' sucker. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2556 You're a real swinger! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2557 Tell the Jester that he may live. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2558 My Tempurpedic feels better than this. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2559 Send someone in to rock me. I want to be rocked. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2560 I've got it, I've got it, we will call them "Knights of The Round Table!" 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2561 Mind getting me a Pina Colada? 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2562 A camper's friend does wonders for your feet. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2563 The weight of the responsibility seems to have gotten to him. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2564 Okay, one more 'Rockabye Lothar' before we terrorize the village at dawn. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2565 What do you mean HBO Now is down? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2566 Someone has to protect him from nightmares too. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2567 Staycations are overrated. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2568 keep guard , do your job , okay ? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2569 It don't mean a thing, if you ain't got that swing. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2570 The airbnb made it sound much more luxurious. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2571 believe it or not Donald is now the king! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2572 No, we are not two peas in a pod! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2573 Why shouldn't I have the biggest berth on the boat? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2574 I was the Cat that got the Cream. It was great at the time but maybe I was too young. Was it just too much Cream for one Cat. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2575 Wake me up when he resigns! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2576 News on that grass-skirt? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2577 So you're certain he said, "I won't rest until I get a 'ham hock' "? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2578 So this is where the King keeps the bananas! 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2579 Please! No more swaddling! I'll talk. I'll talk. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2580 I guess we're his slings and arrows. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2581 My job performance is always much improved after an afternoon nap. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2582 Let's see if anyone wants to play "Game of Hammocks!" 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2583 Get the bug spray....quick! 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2584 He should have ordered the Kingsize 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2585 Our training manual says complete surrender must be conceded before successful housebreaking can be started. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2586 Squire, fetch me the court jester, I feel the need for a 'mocking! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2587 I'll start taking this seriously when I'm not out-ranked by a damn chair. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2588 I'll just pull my helmet over my eyes for a few minutes. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2589 What gives you the idea that I was sleeping on the job? 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2590 Why should I worry? The King is at his golf resort for the next 17 days. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2591 I dreamt of a statue of me-self to forever spite those darn protesters. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2592 Wake me up for shift change. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2593 Something wrong at your end? No cartoon appears when I click on this week's contest. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2594 This tapestry was practically an assault on the royal chambers. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2595 I don't see what the big fuss is...this is much more comfortable. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2596 Aren't you glad Donald got a new architect to redo the Oval Office. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2597 Not anymore, gives me a royal backache. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2598 Is it my shift already? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2599 It's a new concept. We get two ten minute breaks per shift! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2600 The Queen is off to Bedminster for the weekend, Sir. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2601 Fall asleep for a minute and see what happens? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2602 And a coconut from the manor. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2603 That damn throne hurts my butt. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2604 Hey, mind your own business! 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2605 I'm just connecting with my inner seafarer. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2606 Beats sitting on the Iron Throne! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2607 My kingdom for an effective lullaby. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2608 I got it on sale at R.E.I.G.N.. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2609 My Kingdom for the Winds of Winter. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2610 Summer's over, so they brought it inside. This will be where you'll be lying in winter. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2611 Shall I bring her in, Sir? 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2612 So...do you use Amazon? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2613 Swinging a hammock is better than swinging a hatchet. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2614 'Tis said he hath relinquished the throne. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2615 I found where he hides the fiddlers three! 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2616 I picked this up on Amazon, what do you think? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2617 When I said 'let's bring the outside in' this is not exactly what I had in mind. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2618 Can you bring me my teddy bear? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2619 I have a bad back, ok? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2620 No fake news! Just an alt-rest. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2621 I'm staying here until the exterminator arrives. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2622 I will resume my station when I hear the Royal Flush. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2623 They say "The Game of Thrones" should swing. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2624 You think the head's uneasy on the throne, you should try this hammock. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2625 Don't worry, his name is King Zorgon, Slayer of Dragons, not Slayer of Nappers! 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2626 I'm not crazy about the hours involved with this job, but the benefits are pretty generous. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2627 It's all the craze with the lazy set. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2628 "I'm turning it over to a robot". 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2629 Perchance to dream: ay, of you fetching me a bedpan. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2630 There is much to do today -- are you just going to swing all day? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2631 Most 'Throne' extras never last this long. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2632 Being the Prince-in-Law is better than being the Prince. Deal with it. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2633 "Thy people gave thee a throne, sire. Why must thee make a game of it"? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2634 The King never worries about an attack from the Right Wing. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2635 Quick, help me get dressed before his Majesty returns. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2636 "Send for the jester to sneak up and roll me out of the hammock. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2637 I just had the strangest dream..what the hell is trail mix? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2638 Rise and shine, sleepy head. Seems it's still just you in line still for the Chief Strategist's job. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2639 At least it's not about a pea. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2640 Take it up with the royal architect. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2641 Tell them I've retired. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2642 I just can't stand by him any longer 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2643 Would you mind grabbing my IPad. I want to listen to the Mets. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2644 Wanna dance? 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2645 Yeah, I had to work late again. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2646 Sorry, my bunions are killing me. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2647 I'm taking today off. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2648 I got mine at E-Bay. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2649 Better look smart. The king is unpredictable. He may trot in any time now. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2650 I said, I asked for a ham hook!!! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2651 I'm one of the king's biggest hang-ups. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2652 'The Kittens are at the gate, Your Kingship! Shall we deploy the catnip?' 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2653 Whose idea was it to use the curtain as a hammock? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2654 I can't see the full television screen from this angle. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2655 Another 10 minutes and you can have your holiday. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2656 I feel like watching game of thrones. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2657 Taking it easy, Sire? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2658 He keeps saying, "I'm King of my castle!" 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2659 Sentry, get your hearing checked. I said call me when the war is over. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2660 What’s the problem? The dude spends so much time on the other throne , I may as well catch up on some Z’z! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
2661 Get off your lazy ass, Henry! 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
2662 I'd hate to try the queen size. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2663 Bring me my golf clubs. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2664 Avoiding my responsibilities would be much more thrilling if I were at risk of being impeached 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2665 You aren't eligible for a hammock until you've been here 90 days. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2666 Would you mind bringing me my Black Plague net, please? 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2667 Oh no, I slept through the Royal Fanfare again. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2668 Do you think he needs a baby to play with? 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2669 Bring me my winch! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2670 I feel like a stewardess on a Trans-Pacific flight! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2671 we just know how to tell you... the laser light finally died. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2672 They never said I couldn't sleep on the job 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2673 Oh, run amok. I though you said, "Run a hammock." 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2674 Wake me up when he leaves Bedminster. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2675 Millennials born after 1201 choose comfort AND utility. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2676 Wake me before the bed bugs bite. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2677 It's hard enough to get conjugal visits from the Queen. This isn't going to help. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2678 My lord, the doctor recommended you to try health diet. Tomorrow we will serve you organic tofu-fish with fresh almond milk. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2679 My new legal system will be based on the Code of Hammockrabi. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2680 I've been waiting for days for this throne to be unoccupied 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2681 I bought this at The Discarded Image. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2682 I don't think you CAN go on strike, Your Majesty. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2683 John was so relieved when he realized what she really meant when she said her "royal kitty" gave her apartment that pee smell. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2684 Knight watchman? I thought they meant night watchman. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2685 The Game of Hammocks. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2686 My castle... my foot! 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2687 We should have never given him the remote. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2688 You can't ALWAYS be on vacation! 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2689 No siege is going to keep me from my vacation. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2690 I just can't sleep without my little buddy snoring overhead. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2691 Take a break, he has been dethroned. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2692 Of course we're not just humoring you. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a crown maker, a throne carpenter or an ermine robe tailor? 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2693 What if by the time he gets back, he thinks it's a bad idea? 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2694 My wife hates it when I sleep in the office. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2695 Get me some palm trees 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2696 This is not a vacation- meetings and calls! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2697 The more I try to get executed, the closer I get to knighthood. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2698 What? I'm guarding the California King. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2699 I told you that you should have had your agent renegotiate your contract. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2700 Being a king can be a beach 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2701 Too lazy to lurch to your personal quarters again? 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2702 asdfasdf 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2703 Look...a tunic-hammock! I'm going on Shark Tank. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2704 I stab best from a supine position. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2705 None of us can read, but he's still the boss! 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2706 Lies from the head that wears the crown make me uneasy. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2707 What, we'll be here all night! 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2708 Psst, King's already gone, fetch some wine and let's relax, will ye? 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2709 Wake me when he gets back from Mar a Largo. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2710 Sire, I am afraid there is another delay on your bedroom remodel due to the Castle Workers Union strike. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2711 I said his grandfather was King of the Jungle. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2712 "Good knight"? Try "Great King"! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2713 I always want to do that! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2714 Shout if you see King Donald coming. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2715 If you were king you would have your own hammock. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2716 This is how I define a working vacation! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2717 Romeo quick, remember we're in disguise. Why did u get comfortable. That nasty Capulet will kill us 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2718 And frankly, 17 days isn't long enough. I don't care if he never comes back. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2719 After seeing those dragons, I decided to play "Game of Hammocks" instead. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2720 I was never really comfortable. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2721 Your lineage is not from the "king of the jungle," it's from a long line of loose neighborhood strays. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2722 I know being King of YouTube is hard work, but can we just get one more shot of you hanging on the curtain? 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2723 Good morning, sleepy head! It's your watch. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2724 It's my day off" 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2725 Earth to Jed, earth to Jed ... where's my latte'! 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2726 King Hammock waits for Queen Throne. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2727 After complaints of too much golfing, he took to the hammock. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2728 I am a lazy King, go get me a Lay-Z-boy! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2729 Will you at least tweet a response? 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2730 Two trees, my kingdom for two trees. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2731 There's an Airbnb in my bedroom. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2732 We're not allowed to touch the pillow, so... 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2733 "Get me the King's pillow" said Aaron, the fairer of the two. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2734 "Oh really...and you are no Jaime Lannister or Khal Drogo yourself buddy! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2735 I was here first. Now give me a push. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2736 He'll be gone for a while - the queen has a honey-do list!" 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2737 Sorry Sire, the Spanish Infanta was just not into it. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2738 There is in me an anarchy and frightful disorder. Creating makes me die a thousand deaths, because it means making order, and my entire being rebels against order. But without it I would die, scattered to the winds. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2739 Tell him I'll see him later. My jet lag is really killing me. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2740 Tonight I can bear another game of thrones. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2741 Hey, why were you sleeping? Well the king told me good knight. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2742 So you see, my idea is a much smaller one these, that you wear at the beach, holding everything in place. You're comfortable, catching some rays . . . You might think its bananas, but all I need is a name and you'll see . . . . Wait a minute! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2743 Bunions. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2744 Methinks the chamber is hot. Passeth me my goblet of frozen margarita. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2745 It's ergonomically pleasing. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2746 Seriously?! That won't hold King Donald's hefty carcass OR his ego! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2747 I thought "Sir Hammock" would be a better gig... 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2748 GoT Game or Throne 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
2749 The king has gone...tis only the fool who remains to rule our forsaken country. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
2750 My commute to work is like two minutes, tops 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
2751 Gotta have some kind of break when you work a double. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
2752 its better for my hemorrhoids 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
2753 and, I thought 'hanging' would be a 'done-deal'! 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
2754 "He did say, "Go hammock!" didn't he? 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
2755 Fake Hammock. Really a Slingshot. If Trump returns early, you are so fired. Consolation is he does usually hit the open window. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
2756 The King will want to test your idea about avoiding bloody floors. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
2757 Stop the music so we can settle this once and for all. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
2758 This beats the Caribbean cruise in terms of comfort. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
2759 - I told you someone will be hanging by the end of the day! - I thought you meant havoc.. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
2760 I thought a ham hock was part of the pig! 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
2761 King Claudius you have been slain by the Ghost of Hammock. 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
2762 Wake me up if the king or the Huns come back. 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
2763 I love my summer retreat. 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
2764 Wake me when he's back from Mar-a-Lago. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
2765 Half my kingdom to whoever can fix my hemorrhoids 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
2766 I'll go back when you've stopped the leaks and not before! 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
2767 Wake me should his royal highness return to this dumpy royal White Castle. 1.0698 0.05150 43 41 1 1
2768 I think it's time we offer His Royal Highness some Kaopectate. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
2769 Fit for a king? Hell, no! 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
2770 So much for these memory foam hammocks. I just had a dream and can't remember it. 1.0682 0.05034 44 42 1 1
2771 The puppy will be here tomorrow 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0