Rank |
Caption |
Mean |
Precision |
Total votes |
"Unfunny" votes |
"Somewhat funny" votes |
"Funny" votes |
0 |
The truth is you came from a box of free kittens. |
2.0132 |
0.01006 |
6602 |
2163 |
2189 |
2250 |
1 |
Get over yourself... it was ONE mouse! |
2.0025 |
0.01227 |
3977 |
1185 |
1597 |
1195 |
2 |
Our estate planner wants to know if you would like your inheritance in a lump sum or spread out over nine lives. |
1.9973 |
0.01244 |
3704 |
1066 |
1582 |
1056 |
3 |
He does know the dog got more votes, right? |
1.9751 |
0.01160 |
4620 |
1495 |
1745 |
1380 |
4 |
It doesn't mean you won't still be royalty. It just means there will be no heir. |
1.9632 |
0.01817 |
2010 |
705 |
674 |
631 |
5 |
The taxidermist really captured his personality. |
1.9595 |
0.01227 |
4415 |
1560 |
1474 |
1381 |
6 |
You see, "reigning" cats and dogs can have two different meanings ... |
1.9501 |
0.01827 |
1744 |
553 |
725 |
466 |
7 |
We're sorry we didn't think about your line of succession before we...you know. |
1.9301 |
0.01574 |
2505 |
871 |
938 |
696 |
8 |
No, your majesty, eating the canaries was not what we meant when we asked you to stop the tweeting. |
1.8927 |
0.01230 |
4230 |
1605 |
1474 |
1151 |
9 |
he just got his resuslts from ancestry.com |
1.8777 |
0.01302 |
3441 |
1240 |
1382 |
819 |
10 |
Whatever, he still shits in a box. |
1.8509 |
0.01306 |
3930 |
1653 |
1210 |
1067 |
11 |
After legalizing catnip, nothing else seems important to him |
1.8473 |
0.01212 |
3935 |
1483 |
1570 |
882 |
12 |
A royal heir? Nice try, but you're still getting neutered. |
1.8364 |
0.01210 |
3968 |
1529 |
1559 |
880 |
13 |
This is a bit awkward, Sire, but the parakeet is missing. |
1.8330 |
0.01237 |
3724 |
1424 |
1498 |
802 |
14 |
Why is it always the orange ones with delusions of grandeur? |
1.8097 |
0.01375 |
3352 |
1442 |
1106 |
804 |
15 |
We're just saying, it might be tough to rule the world when you sleep for 12 hours a day |
1.7932 |
0.01300 |
3216 |
1275 |
1331 |
610 |
16 |
Even if he's deposed, I'm sure he'll land on his feet. |
1.7859 |
0.01346 |
3055 |
1242 |
1225 |
588 |
17 |
I know the Egyptians used to worship them, but you're from the Bronx. |
1.7734 |
0.02041 |
1324 |
549 |
526 |
249 |
18 |
YOU'RE the one who wanted to call him Donald! |
1.7656 |
0.01505 |
2820 |
1308 |
865 |
647 |
19 |
Maybe children would be easier. |
1.7635 |
0.01651 |
2161 |
952 |
768 |
441 |
20 |
He's overcompensating for his tiny claws. |
1.7595 |
0.01487 |
2798 |
1283 |
905 |
610 |
21 |
I wanted a rescue, but all they had was an exile. |
1.7465 |
0.02157 |
1341 |
631 |
419 |
291 |
22 |
Ok, I'll say it--the emperor has no claws. |
1.7456 |
0.01477 |
2622 |
1168 |
953 |
501 |
23 |
We'd prefer you 'think' inside the box. |
1.7347 |
0.01790 |
1949 |
935 |
596 |
418 |
24 |
Sorry, but we had to remove your family jewels. |
1.7162 |
0.01563 |
2417 |
1154 |
795 |
468 |
25 |
We never should have let him watch the Lion King. |
1.7084 |
0.01509 |
2459 |
1151 |
874 |
434 |
26 |
No, we're not changing the name of your litter box to Mar-a-Gato. |
1.7050 |
0.02205 |
1251 |
619 |
382 |
250 |
27 |
Let’s go back to dry food. |
1.7035 |
0.05078 |
226 |
109 |
75 |
42 |
28 |
I know you don't want to move, but do you think you could just check that you're not sitting on the remote? |
1.6947 |
0.01746 |
1798 |
851 |
645 |
302 |
29 |
He clawed his way to the top. |
1.6880 |
0.01686 |
1955 |
943 |
679 |
333 |
30 |
I know we are supposed to fight over pets when we divorce, but you can have him. |
1.6843 |
0.02288 |
1118 |
559 |
353 |
206 |
31 |
We shouldn't have named him Donald |
1.6802 |
0.02809 |
813 |
432 |
209 |
172 |
32 |
This is why no one names a cat Rex. |
1.6801 |
0.01841 |
1613 |
781 |
567 |
265 |
33 |
It could be worse. He could think he's the president. |
1.6716 |
0.01859 |
1705 |
874 |
517 |
314 |
34 |
The dog wants to know if he can come back in. |
1.6667 |
0.01812 |
1635 |
802 |
576 |
257 |
35 |
What do you mean you've had the dog beheaded? |
1.6626 |
0.02934 |
729 |
393 |
189 |
147 |
36 |
At three you have the Royal Scratching Post. At four the Ball of Twine arrives... |
1.6620 |
0.01849 |
1571 |
777 |
548 |
246 |
37 |
OK then, we'll build a moat and have the dog pay for it. |
1.6598 |
0.02467 |
976 |
512 |
284 |
180 |
38 |
He said he still wants to build a scratching post and have us pay for it. |
1.6514 |
0.02844 |
697 |
360 |
220 |
117 |
39 |
...........but over time, Fluffy, the Egyptians realized that their cats weren't gods |
1.6478 |
0.01855 |
1488 |
735 |
542 |
211 |
40 |
Yes Leo,you're King. But we own the can opener |
1.6431 |
0.02815 |
636 |
314 |
235 |
87 |
41 |
He's wondering what happened to the royal jewels. |
1.6406 |
0.02007 |
1358 |
703 |
440 |
215 |
42 |
We decided we are actually dog people. |
1.6242 |
0.02563 |
833 |
443 |
260 |
130 |
43 |
I just worry we spoil him sometimes. |
1.6168 |
0.02321 |
976 |
515 |
320 |
141 |
44 |
Ok, let's go over this again. The Lion King was a completely different kind of cat. |
1.6153 |
0.02806 |
642 |
333 |
223 |
86 |
45 |
Sometimes he wants to execute Jacobites, but we just distract him with string. |
1.6151 |
0.02928 |
634 |
341 |
196 |
97 |
46 |
I don't want to be the one to tell him we're getting a dog. |
1.6147 |
0.02168 |
1103 |
580 |
368 |
155 |
47 |
The vet says she's got affluenza. |
1.6144 |
0.03995 |
376 |
213 |
95 |
68 |
48 |
You just told him what "fixed" really means? |
1.6111 |
0.02209 |
1085 |
580 |
347 |
158 |
49 |
Try to remember where you last were when you were wearing the boots. |
1.6071 |
0.03293 |
537 |
303 |
142 |
92 |
50 |
We should have listened to the people at the shelter. |
1.6037 |
0.02299 |
974 |
520 |
320 |
134 |
51 |
Lazy, overweight and an inexperienced leader. Sounds vaguely familiar. |
1.5953 |
0.02788 |
719 |
405 |
200 |
114 |
52 |
Well, we've requested an audience with you today, Your Highness, to ask you to stop urinating on the couch. |
1.5933 |
0.02498 |
863 |
479 |
256 |
128 |
53 |
Don't let them get to you. It's all fake mews. |
1.5922 |
0.02676 |
770 |
433 |
218 |
119 |
54 |
It's time to go out and do something with your nine lives |
1.5904 |
0.03286 |
459 |
246 |
155 |
58 |
55 |
Perhaps having children would have been easier |
1.5837 |
0.02438 |
812 |
435 |
280 |
97 |
56 |
The taxidermy really captured his essence. |
1.5827 |
0.02559 |
822 |
464 |
237 |
121 |
57 |
Next time, let's get a taxidermist who's a little less whimsical. |
1.5775 |
0.02979 |
587 |
329 |
177 |
81 |
58 |
Trump tried to grab him. |
1.5758 |
0.03135 |
759 |
512 |
57 |
190 |
59 |
His videos bought this house. He deserves a little respect. |
1.5742 |
0.03243 |
512 |
293 |
144 |
75 |
60 |
Sorry your highness, but I think you can handle licking yourself on your own. |
1.5728 |
0.02667 |
735 |
416 |
217 |
102 |
61 |
C'mon, Bob, we both let this happen. |
1.5709 |
0.03027 |
550 |
307 |
172 |
71 |
62 |
This is the 8th cat we've named Henry |
1.5702 |
0.02768 |
691 |
395 |
198 |
98 |
63 |
His shrimp was limp. |
1.5700 |
0.03187 |
714 |
478 |
65 |
171 |
64 |
We were hoping that maybe we could sleep on the bed tonight? |
1.5629 |
0.02981 |
588 |
338 |
169 |
81 |
65 |
We think you can lick your own butt. |
1.5565 |
0.03171 |
575 |
350 |
130 |
95 |
66 |
I'm so glad this is the final season of Game of Thrones. |
1.5556 |
0.02889 |
603 |
345 |
181 |
77 |
67 |
You don't think we're spoiling him, do you? |
1.5523 |
0.02854 |
574 |
320 |
191 |
63 |
68 |
I spoke with the therapist again today and she actually had the nerve to say the problem might be us. |
1.5447 |
0.03344 |
470 |
279 |
126 |
65 |
69 |
We want to get a dog. |
1.5446 |
0.03125 |
527 |
310 |
147 |
70 |
70 |
But "Le Chat, C'est Moi" can't be your only policy. |
1.5434 |
0.02973 |
541 |
309 |
170 |
62 |
71 |
Cats have nine lives, not eight wives. |
1.5431 |
0.03071 |
534 |
312 |
154 |
68 |
72 |
What does he mean by, "Meow is the winter of our discontent."? |
1.5391 |
0.04625 |
256 |
156 |
62 |
38 |
73 |
We said castration, not coronation. |
1.5382 |
0.03248 |
511 |
310 |
127 |
74 |
74 |
Le chat, c'est moi. |
1.5381 |
0.03442 |
433 |
257 |
119 |
57 |
75 |
Tsk Tsk. Puss in Booze, and drunk again. |
1.5375 |
0.03321 |
506 |
312 |
116 |
78 |
76 |
Worst case scenario: He reigns for the whole four years. |
1.5364 |
0.03079 |
494 |
283 |
157 |
54 |
77 |
We've been seeing a lot more animals in leadership positions ever since that orangutan was elected President. |
1.5363 |
0.03312 |
496 |
303 |
120 |
73 |
78 |
I like the way it fits right over the catbox. |
1.5357 |
0.03355 |
448 |
265 |
126 |
57 |
79 |
Get a grip Arthur, your father was a Chicago cat named Three Toes and your mother was a Persian stripper... |
1.5351 |
0.03109 |
499 |
290 |
151 |
58 |
80 |
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown and gags up hair balls. |
1.5346 |
0.03283 |
492 |
298 |
125 |
69 |
81 |
Look, there will be no heir. Remember that doctor's visit? |
1.5337 |
0.03273 |
489 |
295 |
127 |
67 |
82 |
You ARE the greatest cat who ever lived and you have the biggest paws. |
1.5328 |
0.03240 |
488 |
292 |
132 |
64 |
83 |
You know you're becoming a royal pain in the ass. |
1.5298 |
0.03266 |
470 |
280 |
131 |
59 |
84 |
You shouldn't have named him Clawdius. |
1.5272 |
0.03311 |
459 |
275 |
126 |
58 |
85 |
Do you think we are spoiling him? |
1.5270 |
0.03217 |
463 |
272 |
138 |
53 |
86 |
He's a rescue from Trump Tower. |
1.5197 |
0.03565 |
431 |
271 |
96 |
64 |
87 |
We're "cat people," but not "the' cat's people. |
1.5188 |
0.03409 |
426 |
257 |
117 |
52 |
88 |
Maybe just marking your territory is enough. |
1.5187 |
0.03476 |
428 |
263 |
108 |
57 |
89 |
I miss Rover and his democratic socialist platform. |
1.5174 |
0.03508 |
402 |
243 |
110 |
49 |
90 |
The shelter called. They found your scepter. |
1.5128 |
0.03630 |
392 |
243 |
97 |
52 |
91 |
My other throne is a litter box. |
1.5124 |
0.03437 |
402 |
241 |
116 |
45 |
92 |
I'm sorry but you just can't pardon yourself for going on the rug. |
1.5113 |
0.03451 |
397 |
238 |
115 |
44 |
93 |
It's his Trump imitation. |
1.5102 |
0.03616 |
394 |
245 |
97 |
52 |
94 |
One viral video and suddenly he thinks his litter doesn't stink. |
1.5091 |
0.03606 |
385 |
237 |
100 |
48 |
95 |
Not what you expect from a rescue cat. |
1.5028 |
0.03525 |
356 |
211 |
111 |
34 |
96 |
Dogs have masters. Cats have subjects. |
1.5028 |
0.03721 |
356 |
220 |
93 |
43 |
97 |
We feel like the Fancy Feast has gone to your head. |
1.5027 |
0.03581 |
372 |
227 |
103 |
42 |
98 |
We may have crossed the line between pampering and enabling. |
1.4970 |
0.03754 |
338 |
208 |
92 |
38 |
99 |
You may think you're royal, but I've got the can opener. |
1.4957 |
0.03682 |
347 |
213 |
96 |
38 |
100 |
He got his DNA test results back today. |
1.4955 |
0.03609 |
335 |
200 |
104 |
31 |
101 |
It's too much. He's gone through 14 of my house plants, eight catnip toys and now three Communication directors. |
1.4910 |
0.03739 |
334 |
206 |
92 |
36 |
102 |
He still thinks he won the popular vote. |
1.4906 |
0.04152 |
320 |
211 |
61 |
48 |
103 |
Well Donald, that's what you get when you tell a genie that you want some "Royal Pussy". |
1.4895 |
0.04202 |
333 |
226 |
51 |
56 |
104 |
I think we should cut back on the fancy feast. |
1.4881 |
0.07084 |
84 |
50 |
27 |
7 |
105 |
I told the taxidermist that I wanted him to look majestic. |
1.4879 |
0.04054 |
330 |
217 |
65 |
48 |
106 |
Nothing was too good for her – EVERYTHING WAS !!! |
1.4878 |
0.04141 |
328 |
219 |
58 |
51 |
107 |
Sometimes the mice just win. |
1.4851 |
0.03907 |
303 |
188 |
83 |
32 |
108 |
Did your mother say when she'd be back to pick him up? |
1.4845 |
0.04112 |
291 |
185 |
71 |
35 |
109 |
This is the last time we're cat sitting |
1.4824 |
0.03973 |
313 |
200 |
75 |
38 |
110 |
As you start your 2nd life, we got a companion pet - a pit-bull. |
1.4823 |
0.04069 |
311 |
202 |
68 |
41 |
111 |
He's been like this since I cancelled his Twitter account. |
1.4805 |
0.04021 |
308 |
198 |
72 |
38 |
112 |
Please don't look so sad; the package clearly stated that the orb and scepter were being shipped separately. |
1.4785 |
0.03792 |
303 |
186 |
89 |
28 |
113 |
I liked it better when he was an "outside" cat. |
1.4744 |
0.03884 |
293 |
182 |
83 |
28 |
114 |
Trumpy what's wrong? |
1.4737 |
0.08266 |
76 |
50 |
16 |
10 |
115 |
You gotta admit, it's a lot better than his "Brando" stage. |
1.4724 |
0.03912 |
290 |
181 |
81 |
28 |
116 |
I liked him more when HE brought US mice. |
1.4722 |
0.04023 |
288 |
183 |
74 |
31 |
117 |
He's been like this since Brexit. |
1.4706 |
0.04072 |
289 |
186 |
70 |
33 |
118 |
He wants nine wives, too. |
1.4706 |
0.04228 |
272 |
176 |
64 |
32 |
119 |
He's bored. Get your mouse costume out. |
1.4700 |
0.04075 |
283 |
181 |
71 |
31 |
120 |
Well yeah, it's definitely a little troubling, but I'm pretty sure our emperor has no claws. |
1.4679 |
0.03947 |
280 |
175 |
79 |
26 |
121 |
But you really DON'T have any clothes. |
1.4655 |
0.04096 |
275 |
176 |
70 |
29 |
122 |
We're not gonna taste your food anymore. |
1.4649 |
0.03937 |
271 |
168 |
80 |
23 |
123 |
What do you mean "we're fired"!? |
1.4630 |
0.04151 |
270 |
174 |
67 |
29 |
124 |
He didn't act like this at the shelter. |
1.4627 |
0.04207 |
268 |
174 |
64 |
30 |
125 |
Well Joe, it seems our cat is having a fifth-life crisis. |
1.4624 |
0.04362 |
266 |
177 |
55 |
34 |
126 |
I know cats. Cats are friends of mine. You're no cat. |
1.4604 |
0.04534 |
265 |
182 |
44 |
39 |
127 |
Cat heir. |
1.4604 |
0.04139 |
265 |
170 |
68 |
27 |
128 |
He's going through his mid-lives crisis. |
1.4600 |
0.04465 |
250 |
166 |
53 |
31 |
129 |
I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to understand why he'd gotten dropped off at the shelter. |
1.4598 |
0.04220 |
261 |
169 |
64 |
28 |
130 |
Where did you find him -- the White House? |
1.4577 |
0.04335 |
260 |
172 |
57 |
31 |
131 |
We're thinking about getting a dog |
1.4545 |
0.04242 |
253 |
164 |
63 |
26 |
132 |
I'm terrified what your mother gave me is NOT a house cat. |
1.4538 |
0.04782 |
238 |
165 |
38 |
35 |
133 |
I guess we should have had kids after all. |
1.4516 |
0.04226 |
248 |
160 |
64 |
24 |
134 |
A French Poodle and German Shepherd are here to see you about Brexit. |
1.4516 |
0.04341 |
248 |
163 |
58 |
27 |
135 |
I can't behead him; he's my husband... |
1.4516 |
0.04378 |
248 |
164 |
56 |
28 |
136 |
This is not what I meant when I said you could have free reign of the house. |
1.4508 |
0.03990 |
244 |
151 |
76 |
17 |
137 |
We tempted fate by naming our eighth cat Henry |
1.4504 |
0.04097 |
242 |
152 |
71 |
19 |
138 |
What do you mean by, 'Make the Litterbox great Again.' |
1.4481 |
0.04509 |
241 |
162 |
50 |
29 |
139 |
And I just want to add what a privilege it is to empty your litter box. |
1.4477 |
0.04690 |
239 |
165 |
41 |
33 |
140 |
We're making you an outdoor cat |
1.4394 |
0.08671 |
66 |
45 |
13 |
8 |
141 |
Do you think we should name him Donald? |
1.4390 |
0.07970 |
82 |
57 |
14 |
11 |
142 |
I realize now I'm more of a dog person. |
1.4369 |
0.04298 |
222 |
143 |
61 |
18 |
143 |
I don't think that just because you're fat, orange, and compelled to destroy other people's things we should make you king |
1.4364 |
0.04693 |
220 |
150 |
44 |
26 |
144 |
She knows it's just for a day, right? |
1.4364 |
0.04325 |
220 |
142 |
60 |
18 |
145 |
I really didn't mind until she had the dog beheaded. |
1.4364 |
0.04909 |
220 |
155 |
34 |
31 |
146 |
We said 'your leash', not 'your liege'......... |
1.4332 |
0.04413 |
217 |
142 |
56 |
19 |
147 |
"You're king now, but wait until Brutus comes home from dog camp!". |
1.4332 |
0.04215 |
217 |
138 |
64 |
15 |
148 |
YOU put him back in the alley. |
1.4332 |
0.04829 |
217 |
151 |
38 |
28 |
149 |
Really? Build a dog wall?? |
1.4292 |
0.04631 |
212 |
143 |
47 |
22 |
150 |
Do you think we are spoiling the cat? |
1.4279 |
0.04388 |
208 |
135 |
57 |
16 |
151 |
Seriously,..."Caviar" is not cat food! |
1.4279 |
0.04441 |
208 |
136 |
55 |
17 |
152 |
Great. An English Tabby with a Napoleon Complex. |
1.4272 |
0.04728 |
206 |
140 |
44 |
22 |
153 |
We have to build a cat flap. He says Mexico will pay for it. |
1.4229 |
0.05014 |
201 |
142 |
33 |
26 |
154 |
The Queen of Spayeds. |
1.4229 |
0.04600 |
201 |
134 |
49 |
18 |
155 |
Chester, you were a kitten in that YouTube video. You have to move on. |
1.4227 |
0.04774 |
194 |
131 |
44 |
19 |
156 |
Really, those "Impeach the Orange Hairball!" signs weren't for you. |
1.4221 |
0.05051 |
199 |
141 |
32 |
26 |
157 |
Of course you're going to feel bloated if you keep eating everyone who disagrees with you. |
1.4213 |
0.04720 |
197 |
133 |
45 |
19 |
158 |
Karma demands her reincarnation as a servile cat-owner. |
1.4213 |
0.05338 |
197 |
145 |
21 |
31 |
159 |
No, your paws are not too small to be king. |
1.4192 |
0.04914 |
198 |
138 |
37 |
23 |
160 |
Do you think he knows this is his 9th life? |
1.4185 |
0.05077 |
184 |
128 |
35 |
21 |
161 |
OK. But just for a day! |
1.4184 |
0.04450 |
196 |
128 |
54 |
14 |
162 |
You've been to London to see the queen again, haven't you? |
1.4175 |
0.04825 |
194 |
133 |
41 |
20 |
163 |
The first step is recognizing that there is a problem. |
1.4175 |
0.04713 |
194 |
131 |
45 |
18 |
164 |
Yes, we are divorcing. And it IS your fault! |
1.4175 |
0.04656 |
194 |
130 |
47 |
17 |
165 |
We need to talk to you about your twitter account. |
1.4175 |
0.04713 |
194 |
131 |
45 |
18 |
166 |
The vet said Nine Lives, not Nine Wives. |
1.4175 |
0.04656 |
194 |
130 |
47 |
17 |
167 |
Well first of all, we're really not cat people. |
1.4149 |
0.04699 |
188 |
126 |
46 |
16 |
168 |
Doug, I told you it was a bad idea to let him watch Game of Thrones. |
1.4118 |
0.05010 |
187 |
131 |
35 |
21 |
169 |
Can I peel you a mouse? |
1.4114 |
0.05387 |
175 |
126 |
26 |
23 |
170 |
We're sorry. We weren't thinking about your successor when we had you neutered. |
1.4108 |
0.05107 |
185 |
131 |
32 |
22 |
171 |
The other pets have asked for this intervention. |
1.4108 |
0.04811 |
185 |
126 |
42 |
17 |
172 |
It's pretty clear we've screwed up this cat royally... |
1.4108 |
0.04811 |
185 |
126 |
42 |
17 |
173 |
The hour of the vacuum draws ever closer Sire, I advise full retreat. |
1.4108 |
0.04560 |
185 |
122 |
50 |
13 |
174 |
Let's get a dog. |
1.4108 |
0.04811 |
185 |
126 |
42 |
17 |
175 |
Of course I'm sure that the real kings of the jungle also use a litterbox. |
1.4108 |
0.04495 |
185 |
121 |
52 |
12 |
176 |
I don't know where he gets it from, but the vet says Fancy Feast is a gateway food. |
1.4101 |
0.05009 |
178 |
123 |
37 |
18 |
177 |
You've got to get this catnip thing under control. |
1.4094 |
0.05217 |
149 |
100 |
37 |
12 |
178 |
Sure, impeachment may revoke the remainder of your nine lives. |
1.4078 |
0.04923 |
179 |
123 |
39 |
17 |
179 |
You may be not a real king, but you're still a royal pain. |
1.4066 |
0.04863 |
182 |
125 |
40 |
17 |
180 |
Told you not to name him Cat King Cole. |
1.4056 |
0.04901 |
180 |
124 |
39 |
17 |
181 |
I guess catching the mouse is out of the question. |
1.4045 |
0.05251 |
178 |
128 |
28 |
22 |
182 |
He binge watched Game of Thrones. |
1.4045 |
0.04809 |
178 |
121 |
42 |
15 |
183 |
You can't fire us. We're the people. |
1.4045 |
0.05067 |
178 |
125 |
34 |
19 |
184 |
We feed him gourmet cat food one time... |
1.4045 |
0.05067 |
178 |
125 |
34 |
19 |
185 |
The vet said we can have him dethroned by next Wednesday. |
1.4045 |
0.05004 |
178 |
124 |
36 |
18 |
186 |
We've decided that we shouldn't leave "Game of Thrones" on for you when we go out. |
1.4045 |
0.04875 |
178 |
122 |
40 |
16 |
187 |
You're not a king, Donald! You're an overweight pussy who associates with vermin. |
1.4045 |
0.05311 |
178 |
129 |
26 |
23 |
188 |
Nothing we do for him is good enough |
1.4045 |
0.05129 |
178 |
126 |
32 |
20 |
189 |
..not wives ...lives.... nine lives |
1.4045 |
0.04875 |
178 |
122 |
40 |
16 |
190 |
Well, it's an improvement over his Egyptian phase. |
1.4034 |
0.04847 |
176 |
120 |
41 |
15 |
191 |
Okay, let me get this straight. Dogs have Masters...Cats have Staff! |
1.4034 |
0.04427 |
176 |
114 |
53 |
9 |
192 |
He thinks he won the popular vote. |
1.4033 |
0.04816 |
181 |
124 |
41 |
16 |
193 |
We should never have sent in for his DNA results ... |
1.4033 |
0.04816 |
181 |
124 |
41 |
16 |
194 |
That's not the pussy I wanted you to treat like royalty. |
1.4023 |
0.05150 |
174 |
123 |
32 |
19 |
195 |
Queen Elizabeth generally keeps her legs together and her privates covered. |
1.4023 |
0.04817 |
174 |
118 |
42 |
14 |
196 |
He still seems somehow...disenchanted, like...it's not enough. |
1.4012 |
0.04993 |
172 |
119 |
37 |
16 |
197 |
Look, I think the dog has been in the dungeon long enough. |
1.4012 |
0.04713 |
172 |
115 |
45 |
12 |
198 |
What we said was: "We wish you were more LOYAL." |
1.4012 |
0.05060 |
172 |
120 |
35 |
17 |
199 |
Perhaps we should consider treating him more like a pet. |
1.4012 |
0.04993 |
172 |
119 |
37 |
16 |
200 |
And he was so humble when we picked him up at the shelter. |
1.4000 |
0.04822 |
170 |
115 |
42 |
13 |
201 |
We should never had taught him to play chess. |
1.4000 |
0.04675 |
170 |
113 |
46 |
11 |
202 |
We can best serve you if you tell us why you're disappointed in us. |
1.4000 |
0.05102 |
170 |
119 |
34 |
17 |
203 |
Before you have him executed I think you should know - he is the one who cleans your litter box. |
1.3988 |
0.05103 |
173 |
122 |
33 |
18 |
204 |
Perhaps he is about to cough up an edict. |
1.3988 |
0.05036 |
173 |
121 |
35 |
17 |
205 |
Fancy Feast is a cat food, not a lifestyle. |
1.3988 |
0.04762 |
173 |
117 |
43 |
13 |
206 |
John has asked me to marry him. |
1.3988 |
0.05103 |
173 |
122 |
33 |
18 |
207 |
Why do you say I spoil him? |
1.3977 |
0.05078 |
171 |
120 |
34 |
17 |
208 |
We're not asking you to abdicate, just to use the litter box. |
1.3977 |
0.04870 |
171 |
117 |
40 |
14 |
209 |
You - scratch my belly. And you - tell me I'm a good kitty |
1.3977 |
0.05277 |
171 |
123 |
28 |
20 |
210 |
Your father and I have something to tell you. You're just a friggin' cat. |
1.3964 |
0.05051 |
169 |
118 |
35 |
16 |
211 |
No, really--we're happy to sleep in the living room. Anything else? |
1.3964 |
0.04910 |
169 |
116 |
39 |
14 |
212 |
This all started with the Fancy Feast. |
1.3964 |
0.05256 |
169 |
121 |
29 |
19 |
213 |
No you won't have any heirs. We are just calling a spayed a spade. |
1.3952 |
0.05093 |
167 |
117 |
34 |
16 |
214 |
Consider this an intervention. |
1.3952 |
0.04876 |
167 |
114 |
40 |
13 |
215 |
The dog isn't going to like this. |
1.3952 |
0.05164 |
167 |
118 |
32 |
17 |
216 |
What have we done? |
1.3952 |
0.05164 |
167 |
118 |
32 |
17 |
217 |
Only six months and he's already drunk with power. |
1.3952 |
0.05164 |
167 |
118 |
32 |
17 |
218 |
He's been this way ever since his video hit one million views. |
1.3952 |
0.05022 |
167 |
116 |
36 |
15 |
219 |
Maybe we were being too cute when we named him Louie Catorze. |
1.3952 |
0.04950 |
167 |
115 |
38 |
14 |
220 |
Yesterday he made me put on a hat with bells and tell him jokes. |
1.3939 |
0.05064 |
165 |
115 |
35 |
15 |
221 |
And you thought I was self absorbed. |
1.3939 |
0.05064 |
165 |
115 |
35 |
15 |
222 |
It's not that you have no clothes, it's more that you really don't even need them. |
1.3939 |
0.04916 |
165 |
113 |
39 |
13 |
223 |
We never should have let him get that Ancestry.com account! |
1.3939 |
0.05278 |
165 |
118 |
29 |
18 |
224 |
Honestly, I prefer when it's reigning dogs. |
1.3926 |
0.05253 |
163 |
116 |
30 |
17 |
225 |
He liked the Lion King better than Cats. |
1.3926 |
0.04722 |
163 |
109 |
44 |
10 |
226 |
You miscounted, Henry. The last life was your eighth. |
1.3926 |
0.05107 |
163 |
114 |
34 |
15 |
227 |
Maybe it's time we had a kid. |
1.3926 |
0.05395 |
163 |
118 |
26 |
19 |
228 |
Sometimes when my meds thin out, I see glimpses of how absurd we've become. |
1.3926 |
0.05107 |
163 |
114 |
34 |
15 |
229 |
Then we agree. Whoever gets the kids must also take the cat. |
1.3913 |
0.04920 |
161 |
110 |
39 |
12 |
230 |
Please stop leaving dead peasants on the stoop. |
1.3913 |
0.05151 |
161 |
113 |
33 |
15 |
231 |
Remember that time we talked about three co-equal branches of government? |
1.3899 |
0.05196 |
159 |
112 |
32 |
15 |
232 |
This place is a dump! #Sad |
1.3899 |
0.05119 |
159 |
111 |
34 |
14 |
233 |
I know some people call it the 'throne', but you still need to use your litter box. |
1.3889 |
0.04895 |
162 |
111 |
39 |
12 |
234 |
...and that's why there can't be an heir to your throne. |
1.3889 |
0.05624 |
162 |
121 |
19 |
22 |
235 |
Heavy lies the cat who wears the crown. |
1.3889 |
0.04895 |
162 |
111 |
39 |
12 |
236 |
But you still have to go in the box. |
1.3885 |
0.05163 |
157 |
110 |
33 |
14 |
237 |
We have it from a credible source there has been an assassination attempt on one of your nine lives. |
1.3865 |
0.05099 |
163 |
115 |
33 |
15 |
238 |
Do you want the man to leave? |
1.3865 |
0.04948 |
163 |
113 |
37 |
13 |
239 |
As your friends, we feel we need to talk to you about your use of catnip." |
1.3865 |
0.05024 |
163 |
114 |
35 |
14 |
240 |
It's not relaxed, Dad. It's dead. |
1.3865 |
0.05388 |
163 |
119 |
25 |
19 |
241 |
This has got to stop. "Treat your pet like royalty" is just a slogan on your food can. |
1.3846 |
0.04852 |
156 |
106 |
40 |
10 |
242 |
Will our lordship be dining on Salmon Dinner or Poultry Platter this evening? |
1.3846 |
0.05261 |
156 |
111 |
30 |
15 |
243 |
We should have told you earlier, but the real reason you can't produce an heir is because we had you fixed as a kitten. |
1.3846 |
0.05566 |
156 |
115 |
22 |
19 |
244 |
He's still living off of his kitten YouTube fame. |
1.3831 |
0.04532 |
154 |
101 |
47 |
6 |
245 |
I'm afraid it's true, you're adopted. |
1.3831 |
0.05388 |
154 |
111 |
27 |
16 |
246 |
You're right, it doesn't work without the boots. |
1.3831 |
0.05146 |
154 |
108 |
33 |
13 |
247 |
He's depressed. The mice won't pledge their allegiance, and he can't Twitter about it. |
1.3831 |
0.05228 |
154 |
109 |
31 |
14 |
248 |
King or not, we're still going to need you to poop in that box. |
1.3831 |
0.05063 |
154 |
107 |
35 |
12 |
249 |
Are you sure this was a condition of Aunt Gertrude's will? |
1.3831 |
0.04892 |
154 |
105 |
39 |
10 |
250 |
He says you can stay...apparently, you amuse him. |
1.3831 |
0.05146 |
154 |
108 |
33 |
13 |
251 |
All I wanted to do was make the backyard great again. |
1.3831 |
0.05063 |
154 |
107 |
35 |
12 |
252 |
Ok, the throne can stay but the guillotine goes. |
1.3831 |
0.04978 |
154 |
106 |
37 |
11 |
253 |
My guess: New Jersey's governor at the beach? |
1.3831 |
0.05146 |
154 |
108 |
33 |
13 |
254 |
It really hurts our feelings when you tell all your friends that you were adopted by dog people. |
1.3831 |
0.05308 |
154 |
110 |
29 |
15 |
255 |
We don't understand the electoral college either. |
1.3831 |
0.04892 |
154 |
105 |
39 |
10 |
256 |
L'etat, c'est meow |
1.3816 |
0.05357 |
152 |
109 |
28 |
15 |
257 |
You were adopted. |
1.3816 |
0.05021 |
152 |
105 |
36 |
11 |
258 |
He's been like this ever since he got his ancestry.com report. |
1.3816 |
0.04934 |
152 |
104 |
38 |
10 |
259 |
They do say to "dress for the job you want." |
1.3816 |
0.05107 |
152 |
106 |
34 |
12 |
260 |
Get off the throne and use the litter box. |
1.3816 |
0.05438 |
152 |
110 |
26 |
16 |
261 |
I didn’t dress him up. I thought you dressed him up. |
1.3786 |
0.05596 |
140 |
101 |
25 |
14 |
262 |
Is it the ermine trim that troubles you? |
1.3784 |
0.04927 |
148 |
101 |
38 |
9 |
263 |
We know you have a big following on youtube but you still have to use the litter box. |
1.3784 |
0.04538 |
148 |
97 |
46 |
5 |
264 |
You voted for him... |
1.3784 |
0.05373 |
148 |
106 |
28 |
14 |
265 |
Maybe he shouldn't have eaten all four-and-twenty blackbirds. |
1.3784 |
0.05287 |
148 |
105 |
30 |
13 |
266 |
Peel me a mouse. |
1.3784 |
0.05458 |
148 |
107 |
26 |
15 |
267 |
I think it started when that video of him walking on the piano went viral. |
1.3784 |
0.04737 |
148 |
99 |
42 |
7 |
268 |
What did you do with the dog? |
1.3759 |
0.05282 |
141 |
99 |
31 |
11 |
269 |
We know Henry, you thought you would be a Tudor king, not a neutered king, but you are still royalty to us, even without your crown "jewels." |
1.3758 |
0.05082 |
149 |
104 |
34 |
11 |
270 |
Listen, we don't care who you were in a past life. |
1.3758 |
0.04900 |
149 |
102 |
38 |
9 |
271 |
....a funny story about your inability to produce an heir.... |
1.3741 |
0.05217 |
147 |
104 |
31 |
12 |
272 |
Now that you've conquered the internet, let's talk about conquering your litter box. |
1.3741 |
0.04942 |
147 |
101 |
37 |
9 |
273 |
You think the Colorado Catnip was just a bit too much? |
1.3733 |
0.05054 |
150 |
105 |
34 |
11 |
274 |
It's a case of Lion King Syndrome. |
1.3731 |
0.07317 |
67 |
46 |
17 |
4 |
275 |
He's got some entitlement issues... |
1.3724 |
0.04888 |
145 |
99 |
38 |
8 |
276 |
You should have told us sooner that you wished to sire an heir. |
1.3724 |
0.05080 |
145 |
101 |
34 |
10 |
277 |
What do you mean, spoiled him? |
1.3724 |
0.05080 |
145 |
101 |
34 |
10 |
278 |
What possessed you to babysit Trump's cat? |
1.3724 |
0.05532 |
145 |
106 |
24 |
15 |
279 |
While funny at first, we have now realized that calling you 'The Donald' was a bad idea. |
1.3714 |
0.07926 |
70 |
51 |
12 |
7 |
280 |
Maybe it's always seemed like it, but we are not your minions. |
1.3706 |
0.04829 |
143 |
97 |
39 |
7 |
281 |
There's always going to be someone with more YouTube views. |
1.3706 |
0.05126 |
143 |
100 |
33 |
10 |
282 |
Since we're all family, I think I'm allowed to tell you the decree you left in the spare bedroom really stinks. |
1.3706 |
0.05221 |
143 |
101 |
31 |
11 |
283 |
I told you, binge watching Game of Thrones was a bad idea! |
1.3688 |
0.05551 |
141 |
103 |
24 |
14 |
284 |
No one enjoys life #6 very much. |
1.3688 |
0.05551 |
141 |
103 |
24 |
14 |
285 |
And this is only the first of his nine lives. |
1.3688 |
0.05173 |
141 |
99 |
32 |
10 |
286 |
We’ve decided to become dog people. |
1.3688 |
0.05074 |
141 |
98 |
34 |
9 |
287 |
And WHAT would you do with a horse? |
1.3688 |
0.05270 |
141 |
100 |
30 |
11 |
288 |
Ok. one more time.. Where's the Dog ? |
1.3688 |
0.04973 |
141 |
97 |
36 |
8 |
289 |
Define 'spoiled.' |
1.3688 |
0.05270 |
141 |
100 |
30 |
11 |
290 |
I think we should explain why you won't be having an heir. |
1.3688 |
0.05459 |
141 |
102 |
26 |
13 |
291 |
I told you not to name him Donald. |
1.3650 |
0.05371 |
137 |
98 |
28 |
11 |
292 |
We understand that you rule the land, but you still need to use the litterbox. |
1.3650 |
0.05567 |
137 |
100 |
24 |
13 |
293 |
You're the one who named him Rex. |
1.3650 |
0.05270 |
137 |
97 |
30 |
10 |
294 |
I used his scepter to scoop the litter box. |
1.3609 |
0.05156 |
133 |
93 |
32 |
8 |
295 |
Maybe it's time to tell him he's a cat. |
1.3609 |
0.05156 |
133 |
93 |
32 |
8 |
296 |
I miss the dog |
1.3609 |
0.05373 |
133 |
95 |
28 |
10 |
297 |
We know. But that was the jungle. This is Poughkeepsie. |
1.3609 |
0.05478 |
133 |
96 |
26 |
11 |
298 |
There's no easy way to say it Princess, but we're not your birth parents. |
1.3607 |
0.07026 |
61 |
41 |
18 |
2 |
299 |
He stars in one viral video... |
1.3588 |
0.05205 |
131 |
92 |
31 |
8 |
300 |
Do you think he hates it when we anthropomorphize him? |
1.3588 |
0.05317 |
131 |
93 |
29 |
9 |
301 |
I liked it better when he was just a fat cat. |
1.3588 |
0.05317 |
131 |
93 |
29 |
9 |
302 |
Maybe the four and twenty blackbirds baked in the pie was a bit too much. |
1.3588 |
0.05426 |
131 |
94 |
27 |
10 |
303 |
Do we even have a milk chalice? |
1.3588 |
0.05533 |
131 |
95 |
25 |
11 |
304 |
I told you not to go to the animal rescue shelter on Park Avenue |
1.3588 |
0.05426 |
131 |
94 |
27 |
10 |
305 |
Dear, our cat is becoming a royal pain. |
1.3588 |
0.05426 |
131 |
94 |
27 |
10 |
306 |
I don't care. He still gets canned food. |
1.3588 |
0.05317 |
131 |
93 |
29 |
9 |
307 |
Just don't sit like that on the subway. |
1.3588 |
0.05533 |
131 |
95 |
25 |
11 |
308 |
Well, at least he can't tweet. |
1.3588 |
0.05741 |
131 |
97 |
21 |
13 |
309 |
Don't let that Best In Show award get to your head... |
1.3588 |
0.05205 |
131 |
92 |
31 |
8 |
310 |
I still have claw marks from our last coup attempt |
1.3588 |
0.05205 |
131 |
92 |
31 |
8 |
311 |
Probably shouldn't have named him Ceasar. |
1.3588 |
0.05741 |
131 |
97 |
21 |
13 |
312 |
Would it be OK if we got a pet? |
1.3588 |
0.05317 |
131 |
93 |
29 |
9 |
313 |
I thought he was your cat. |
1.3588 |
0.05638 |
131 |
96 |
23 |
12 |
314 |
It's a place in the country where you'll have lots of other cats to reign over. |
1.3588 |
0.05426 |
131 |
94 |
27 |
10 |
315 |
The dry cat food was an experiment...a mistake really. |
1.3577 |
0.05256 |
137 |
98 |
29 |
10 |
316 |
We felt it's time for an intervention. |
1.3577 |
0.05554 |
137 |
101 |
23 |
13 |
317 |
All he ever really wanted was to win the popular vote. |
1.3577 |
0.05357 |
137 |
99 |
27 |
11 |
318 |
Well I voted for the dog. |
1.3577 |
0.05457 |
137 |
100 |
25 |
12 |
319 |
He just read his DNA report from Ancestry .com. |
1.3566 |
0.05697 |
129 |
95 |
22 |
12 |
320 |
We told you to word your three wishes carefully, Sir. |
1.3566 |
0.05369 |
129 |
92 |
28 |
9 |
321 |
I wish we had just cremated him. |
1.3566 |
0.05697 |
129 |
95 |
22 |
12 |
322 |
On the count of three, you distract him and I'll grab the remote. |
1.3566 |
0.05019 |
129 |
89 |
34 |
6 |
323 |
What do you mean, we should name her after my mother? |
1.3566 |
0.05697 |
129 |
95 |
22 |
12 |
324 |
Puss, it's only a pair of boots. We can buy you some new ones. |
1.3566 |
0.05481 |
129 |
93 |
26 |
10 |
325 |
It's no more 'Game of Thrones' for you. |
1.3561 |
0.05173 |
132 |
93 |
31 |
8 |
326 |
We just think...maybe it's time to consider community college. |
1.3561 |
0.05805 |
132 |
99 |
19 |
14 |
327 |
Pretend you rule the house all you want, but you can be impeached. |
1.3538 |
0.05445 |
130 |
94 |
26 |
10 |
328 |
I know this was in your mother's will but . . . |
1.3538 |
0.05554 |
130 |
95 |
24 |
11 |
329 |
'Clearly, she's spent too much time around your mother." |
1.3538 |
0.05222 |
130 |
92 |
30 |
8 |
330 |
Even though we'll no longer be married the prince & princess will still serve you. |
1.3538 |
0.05335 |
130 |
93 |
28 |
9 |
331 |
I know he's insufferable but at least we don't have mice. |
1.3538 |
0.05106 |
130 |
91 |
32 |
7 |
332 |
Your father and I think you're being a bit of a drama queen. |
1.3538 |
0.05764 |
130 |
97 |
20 |
13 |
333 |
Okay, now he's Henry the Eighth. Are you going to tell him about the 9 lives thing? |
1.3538 |
0.07731 |
65 |
47 |
13 |
5 |
334 |
Yes, Felix, here you are King, but in the jungle you are just somebody's lunch. |
1.3538 |
0.05335 |
130 |
93 |
28 |
9 |
335 |
With all due respect your majesty, we will not behead the dog. |
1.3516 |
0.05611 |
128 |
94 |
23 |
11 |
336 |
Honey, he's marked his territory, and we just have to get used to it. |
1.3516 |
0.05154 |
128 |
90 |
31 |
7 |
337 |
O.K. We've exiled the dog. Now what? |
1.3516 |
0.05611 |
128 |
94 |
23 |
11 |
338 |
I think it would be more respectful to just bury him. |
1.3516 |
0.05826 |
128 |
96 |
19 |
13 |
339 |
It's great our marriage has found a shared focus. |
1.3516 |
0.05500 |
128 |
93 |
25 |
10 |
340 |
He's a spoiled, selfish little creature who needs constant attention and thinks he's the center of the universe. Let's call him Trumpy. |
1.3516 |
0.05500 |
128 |
93 |
25 |
10 |
341 |
We know this is tough to hear, but your kitty litter does stink. |
1.3516 |
0.05720 |
128 |
95 |
21 |
12 |
342 |
Should we tell him he has no clothes? |
1.3516 |
0.05500 |
128 |
93 |
25 |
10 |
343 |
Clearly the Fancy Feast has gone to her head. |
1.3516 |
0.05272 |
128 |
91 |
29 |
8 |
344 |
Maybe he should go back to regular cat food. |
1.3516 |
0.05611 |
128 |
94 |
23 |
11 |
345 |
Don't shhhhhh me! If he tries to grab THIS pussy I'll scratch his eyes out with fire and fury the world has never seen. |
1.3516 |
0.05931 |
128 |
97 |
17 |
14 |
346 |
He says he's Pussyrus of the House Pussyrian, The Litter-Born, First of His Name, The Father of Hairballs, Chaser of Mice, The Scratcher of Posts. |
1.3516 |
0.05720 |
128 |
95 |
21 |
12 |
347 |
It could be worse: He could get a Twitter account. |
1.3504 |
0.05735 |
117 |
85 |
23 |
9 |
348 |
How do we tell him he didn't win the popular vote? |
1.3504 |
0.05986 |
117 |
87 |
19 |
11 |
349 |
There was a mix-up at the DNA lab. It turns out you're just a housecat. |
1.3492 |
0.05670 |
126 |
93 |
22 |
11 |
350 |
Hopefully this is the ninth life and not the first. |
1.3478 |
0.05799 |
115 |
84 |
22 |
9 |
351 |
You're bored? Use another one of your lives. |
1.3475 |
0.05694 |
118 |
86 |
23 |
9 |
352 |
This belly isn't going to rub itself, you know. |
1.3468 |
0.05253 |
124 |
88 |
29 |
7 |
353 |
we're pregnant.... |
1.3468 |
0.05731 |
124 |
92 |
21 |
11 |
354 |
Since the dog died he's become impossible. |
1.3468 |
0.05253 |
124 |
88 |
29 |
7 |
355 |
I think he ate your medical marijuana. |
1.3468 |
0.05497 |
124 |
90 |
25 |
9 |
356 |
Cattitude |
1.3468 |
0.05731 |
124 |
92 |
21 |
11 |
357 |
We've decided to form our own nation, led by the people. |
1.3468 |
0.05253 |
124 |
88 |
29 |
7 |
358 |
Now that WE'VE gotten rid of the dog, shouldn't YOU be getting rid of the mice? |
1.3451 |
0.05865 |
113 |
83 |
21 |
9 |
359 |
My cat? I thought he was your cat! |
1.3448 |
0.06011 |
116 |
87 |
18 |
11 |
360 |
It must be a heir ball |
1.3448 |
0.05490 |
116 |
83 |
26 |
7 |
361 |
Think, where did you leave the boots? |
1.3448 |
0.05490 |
116 |
83 |
26 |
7 |
362 |
I was sure he had 2 more left. |
1.3448 |
0.05490 |
116 |
83 |
26 |
7 |
363 |
Having a distant relative who's king of the jungle, doesn't really benefit you here. |
1.3443 |
0.04767 |
122 |
83 |
36 |
3 |
364 |
I said we should get a dog, but noooooo! |
1.3443 |
0.05554 |
122 |
89 |
24 |
9 |
365 |
1. You are not a lion. 2. This is not a jungle. |
1.3443 |
0.05431 |
122 |
88 |
26 |
8 |
366 |
I'm glad to see our shelter cat is adjusting well. |
1.3443 |
0.05675 |
122 |
90 |
22 |
10 |
367 |
Sorry, the vet thought it was necessary to do that. But you'll always be king in this house. |
1.3443 |
0.05675 |
122 |
90 |
22 |
10 |
368 |
"You ate a tweet or you sent a tweet?'' |
1.3426 |
0.06052 |
108 |
80 |
19 |
9 |
369 |
You're turning us into dog people. |
1.3423 |
0.06711 |
111 |
88 |
8 |
15 |
370 |
Where did you last see your boots? |
1.3421 |
0.05687 |
114 |
83 |
23 |
8 |
371 |
Yes, we are cat people but don't press your luck. |
1.3421 |
0.05407 |
114 |
81 |
27 |
6 |
372 |
But we like the dog. |
1.3421 |
0.05953 |
114 |
85 |
19 |
10 |
373 |
I know we're a disappointment... |
1.3421 |
0.05822 |
114 |
84 |
21 |
9 |
374 |
I wonder why she was up for adoption? |
1.3421 |
0.06082 |
114 |
86 |
17 |
11 |
375 |
That's fake mews. |
1.3419 |
0.05967 |
117 |
88 |
18 |
11 |
376 |
We thought it was cute at first Sire. Now we'd like you to abdicate. |
1.3417 |
0.05487 |
120 |
87 |
25 |
8 |
377 |
You've been neutered. There are no heirs to your throne. |
1.3417 |
0.05613 |
120 |
88 |
23 |
9 |
378 |
I told you if you kept buying that fancy food it would go to his head. |
1.3417 |
0.05225 |
120 |
85 |
29 |
6 |
379 |
At the pound, they did say he was aloof. |
1.3417 |
0.05090 |
120 |
84 |
31 |
5 |
380 |
We appreciate your eating all the mice in the kingdom, but you really should have paced yourself. |
1.3417 |
0.05487 |
120 |
87 |
25 |
8 |
381 |
He's been down ever since they've been saying he has small paws. |
1.3417 |
0.05487 |
120 |
87 |
25 |
8 |
382 |
You were right, the Emperor has no clothes. |
1.3417 |
0.05857 |
120 |
90 |
19 |
11 |
383 |
I'm sorry, but you can't behead the vet. |
1.3417 |
0.05857 |
120 |
90 |
19 |
11 |
384 |
We've looked everywhere your excellency, but there's no sign of your covfefe. |
1.3417 |
0.05613 |
120 |
88 |
23 |
9 |
385 |
Should we tell him he's neutered? |
1.3417 |
0.05613 |
120 |
88 |
23 |
9 |
386 |
Maybe we shouldn't have let him watch The Lion King. |
1.3417 |
0.05487 |
120 |
87 |
25 |
8 |
387 |
He thinks he rescued us. |
1.3417 |
0.05736 |
120 |
89 |
21 |
10 |
388 |
Must you do this every time Game of Thrones is on? |
1.3417 |
0.05736 |
120 |
89 |
21 |
10 |
389 |
Do you think we may have spoiled her? |
1.3417 |
0.05736 |
120 |
89 |
21 |
10 |
390 |
Maybe His Highness should be eating Fiskies Lite? |
1.3417 |
0.05225 |
120 |
85 |
29 |
6 |
391 |
@RealGrumpyCat just unfollowed him. |
1.3393 |
0.06024 |
112 |
84 |
18 |
10 |
392 |
L'etat, c'est meow |
1.3390 |
0.05412 |
118 |
85 |
26 |
7 |
393 |
Would you go along with having us drop the dog off at a shelter instead of shooting him? |
1.3390 |
0.05674 |
118 |
87 |
22 |
9 |
394 |
I'd have just had him cremated. |
1.3390 |
0.05674 |
118 |
87 |
22 |
9 |
395 |
He doesn't chase mice anymore. He demands they be deported." |
1.3390 |
0.05277 |
118 |
84 |
28 |
6 |
396 |
On the upside, though, he hasn't figured out how to use twitter. |
1.3390 |
0.05544 |
118 |
86 |
24 |
8 |
397 |
We should have never agreed to have his DNA tested. |
1.3390 |
0.05674 |
118 |
87 |
22 |
9 |
398 |
Our therapist said we've spoiled you, so we stopped going. Want some tuna? |
1.3390 |
0.05674 |
118 |
87 |
22 |
9 |
399 |
Dad, what do you think Chairman Meow thinks about? |
1.3390 |
0.05544 |
118 |
86 |
24 |
8 |
400 |
Cuddles--Daddy and I feel we need to cut back on your 'Games of Thrones' viewing. |
1.3390 |
0.05800 |
118 |
88 |
20 |
10 |
401 |
Look, we regret letting you out of the bag... |
1.3390 |
0.05674 |
118 |
87 |
22 |
9 |
402 |
On second thought, let's not have kids. |
1.3390 |
0.05412 |
118 |
85 |
26 |
7 |
403 |
Now Percy, just relax. The vet said the laxative works in about 30 minutes. |
1.3390 |
0.05277 |
118 |
84 |
28 |
6 |
404 |
May I introduce Whiskers of House Calico, the untrained, scratcher of posts, cousin of Mittens, and the cougher of hairballs. |
1.3390 |
0.05923 |
118 |
89 |
18 |
11 |
405 |
No, no dogs. It's just reigning cats. |
1.3366 |
0.06178 |
101 |
75 |
18 |
8 |
406 |
Sitting on the throne is not the same as using the litter box. |
1.3363 |
0.05844 |
113 |
84 |
20 |
9 |
407 |
That new Fancy Feast really went to his head. |
1.3362 |
0.05329 |
116 |
83 |
27 |
6 |
408 |
Someone's feast is getting a little too fancy around here. |
1.3362 |
0.05604 |
116 |
85 |
23 |
8 |
409 |
I see that "royal pain in the ass" was not metaphor. |
1.3362 |
0.05329 |
116 |
83 |
27 |
6 |
410 |
Le chat, c'est moi. |
1.3362 |
0.05991 |
116 |
88 |
17 |
11 |
411 |
So about this whole 'King of Beasts' thing....you're just a house cat. |
1.3362 |
0.05736 |
116 |
86 |
21 |
9 |
412 |
We gotta stop buying fancy feast |
1.3333 |
0.05664 |
114 |
84 |
22 |
8 |
413 |
No, YOU tell him he's not wearing any clothes. |
1.3333 |
0.05664 |
114 |
84 |
22 |
8 |
414 |
Nice try, we're still not getting you Fancy Feast. |
1.3333 |
0.05526 |
114 |
83 |
24 |
7 |
415 |
Now is the season of our distemper. |
1.3333 |
0.05800 |
114 |
85 |
20 |
9 |
416 |
You'll always be 'Puss"to us, even without your boots. |
1.3333 |
0.05932 |
114 |
86 |
18 |
10 |
417 |
We're having a baby. |
1.3333 |
0.05800 |
114 |
85 |
20 |
9 |
418 |
You'll be fine—guys like you always land on their feet. |
1.3333 |
0.05932 |
114 |
86 |
18 |
10 |
419 |
Even my therapist thinks it's best I don't have children . |
1.3333 |
0.05526 |
114 |
83 |
24 |
7 |
420 |
Don't you think you're carrying your pedigree too far? |
1.3333 |
0.05237 |
114 |
81 |
28 |
5 |
421 |
Perhaps we shouldn't have named him Donald. |
1.3333 |
0.06062 |
114 |
87 |
16 |
11 |
422 |
First step, admit that catnip makes you powerless. |
1.3333 |
0.05526 |
114 |
83 |
24 |
7 |
423 |
I think it is time to start making a succession plan. |
1.3333 |
0.05664 |
114 |
84 |
22 |
8 |
424 |
Look, you can't have both--it's either unlimited power or more salmon. |
1.3304 |
0.05866 |
112 |
84 |
19 |
9 |
425 |
But, you still poop in a box. |
1.3304 |
0.06134 |
112 |
86 |
15 |
11 |
426 |
Daddy just doesn't want to be court jester any more. |
1.3304 |
0.06001 |
112 |
85 |
17 |
10 |
427 |
It was a rescue site. I thought it said disposed, not deposed. |
1.3304 |
0.05727 |
112 |
83 |
21 |
8 |
428 |
Heavy is the cat who wears a crown. |
1.3304 |
0.05727 |
112 |
83 |
21 |
8 |
429 |
I told you that naming the cat Donald was not a good idea |
1.3304 |
0.06264 |
112 |
87 |
13 |
12 |
430 |
Actually, it's worse than this. He has the dog dressed up as the court jester. |
1.3304 |
0.05866 |
112 |
84 |
19 |
9 |
431 |
He wants to be called Donald |
1.3304 |
0.06001 |
112 |
85 |
17 |
10 |
432 |
I think the Instagram success has gone to his head. |
1.3304 |
0.05727 |
112 |
83 |
21 |
8 |
433 |
The baby won't mean we'll love you any less. |
1.3301 |
0.05917 |
103 |
76 |
20 |
7 |
434 |
We've kept it from you for years...you're a rescue. |
1.3301 |
0.05586 |
103 |
74 |
24 |
5 |
435 |
He learned to cat-spread from your man-spread. |
1.3273 |
0.05646 |
110 |
81 |
22 |
7 |
436 |
I told you that youtube money would go straight to his head. |
1.3273 |
0.06073 |
110 |
84 |
16 |
10 |
437 |
Time to give Puss the boot. |
1.3273 |
0.05496 |
110 |
80 |
24 |
6 |
438 |
Looks like he's grabbed his last pussy. |
1.3273 |
0.05646 |
110 |
81 |
22 |
7 |
439 |
'We had no idea the salmon was farm-raised." |
1.3273 |
0.05646 |
110 |
81 |
22 |
7 |
440 |
He's on his ninth life, and he still hasn't won the caption contest. |
1.3273 |
0.06073 |
110 |
84 |
16 |
10 |
441 |
We're willing to work with you but exiling Spot is a bit extreme. |
1.3273 |
0.05646 |
110 |
81 |
22 |
7 |
442 |
Okay, I admit it, we should have frozen your eggs. |
1.3273 |
0.05496 |
110 |
80 |
24 |
6 |
443 |
Maybe we should have had kids instead. |
1.3269 |
0.05868 |
104 |
77 |
20 |
7 |
444 |
I know he can seem a little arrogant... |
1.3269 |
0.05707 |
104 |
76 |
22 |
6 |
445 |
He was a lot more fun when he was a kitten. |
1.3267 |
0.05648 |
101 |
73 |
23 |
5 |
446 |
Maybe we should check that pet training book again |
1.3267 |
0.06151 |
101 |
76 |
17 |
8 |
447 |
He doesn't look happy. We need to do more. |
1.3267 |
0.06151 |
101 |
76 |
17 |
8 |
448 |
Boy, killing that mouse really went to his head. |
1.3267 |
0.05988 |
101 |
75 |
19 |
7 |
449 |
He really does have better health care coverage than we do. |
1.3267 |
0.05988 |
101 |
75 |
19 |
7 |
450 |
There's nobody left to fire. |
1.3243 |
0.06160 |
111 |
86 |
14 |
11 |
451 |
He says if a pussy grabber can be president, why can a real pussy be king? |
1.3243 |
0.05747 |
111 |
83 |
20 |
8 |
452 |
He realized he had no clothes. |
1.3241 |
0.05708 |
108 |
80 |
21 |
7 |
453 |
I'm sure the other cats will like you. Maybe you could just take off the crown? |
1.3241 |
0.05555 |
108 |
79 |
23 |
6 |
454 |
I thought a rescue cat would act a little less entitled. |
1.3241 |
0.05555 |
108 |
79 |
23 |
6 |
455 |
I refuse to address him as "Chairman Meow". |
1.3241 |
0.05858 |
108 |
81 |
19 |
8 |
456 |
We need to change the litter under your throne. |
1.3241 |
0.05397 |
108 |
78 |
25 |
5 |
457 |
You are the absolutely best cat ever. No cat in the universe catches more mice than you. Your videos go viral faster than any in the whole history of catdom! |
1.3241 |
0.05397 |
108 |
78 |
25 |
5 |
458 |
We found a bag of catnip in your room. |
1.3241 |
0.06004 |
108 |
82 |
17 |
9 |
459 |
They were removed when you were just a kitten. We had no idea you were royalty |
1.3241 |
0.06146 |
108 |
83 |
15 |
10 |
460 |
she has read Mom's will |
1.3241 |
0.05858 |
108 |
81 |
19 |
8 |
461 |
Looks like he's been bingeing on "Game of Thrones" again. |
1.3241 |
0.05555 |
108 |
79 |
23 |
6 |
462 |
Are we doing enough? |
1.3241 |
0.05858 |
108 |
81 |
19 |
8 |
463 |
If the texting doesn't stop, we're taking away the mouse. |
1.3241 |
0.06422 |
108 |
85 |
11 |
12 |
464 |
The adulation from youtube has changed him. |
1.3241 |
0.05397 |
108 |
78 |
25 |
5 |
465 |
No one ever said doing nothing all day would be easy. |
1.3241 |
0.05234 |
108 |
77 |
27 |
4 |
466 |
I think he's finally gotten too big for his britches. |
1.3241 |
0.05555 |
108 |
79 |
23 |
6 |
467 |
Fluffy, it’s nothing to be ashamed of… it was the biggest mouse we’ve ever seen too. |
1.3241 |
0.05234 |
108 |
77 |
27 |
4 |
468 |
Balls," said the queen. "If I had them, I'd be King. |
1.3241 |
0.06146 |
108 |
83 |
15 |
10 |
469 |
Maybe we should have had a kid so it would go away to college. |
1.3238 |
0.05661 |
105 |
77 |
22 |
6 |
470 |
Honey, wearing the crown isn't enough, you have to act like a king. |
1.3238 |
0.05820 |
105 |
78 |
20 |
7 |
471 |
First of all, I do not have owners. I have staff. |
1.3235 |
0.05938 |
102 |
76 |
19 |
7 |
472 |
He's way less demanding than my last cat. |
1.3235 |
0.05938 |
102 |
76 |
19 |
7 |
473 |
It's all about MEow! |
1.3235 |
0.05938 |
102 |
76 |
19 |
7 |
474 |
Well, aren't you the cats meow! |
1.3235 |
0.05772 |
102 |
75 |
21 |
6 |
475 |
He seems different since the dog died. |
1.3235 |
0.06256 |
102 |
78 |
15 |
9 |
476 |
Time for a regime change. |
1.3235 |
0.06099 |
102 |
77 |
17 |
8 |
477 |
We're awfully sorry to bother you, King Whiskers, but another mouse sighting has been reported in the dungeon. |
1.3235 |
0.05938 |
102 |
76 |
19 |
7 |
478 |
Not so sure we should have told the taxidermist "do what you think is best". |
1.3211 |
0.05812 |
109 |
82 |
19 |
8 |
479 |
We want you to know that we've stopped your Twitter account for your own good. |
1.3208 |
0.05773 |
106 |
79 |
20 |
7 |
480 |
We promise -- nothing will change when the baby comes. |
1.3208 |
0.05615 |
106 |
78 |
22 |
6 |
481 |
It started with him saying, 'Après meow, le déluge'. |
1.3208 |
0.06222 |
106 |
82 |
14 |
10 |
482 |
We need to talk to you about your catnip use. |
1.3208 |
0.05286 |
106 |
76 |
26 |
4 |
483 |
I’m worried; since January he just sits around in his robe watching cable news. |
1.3208 |
0.05453 |
106 |
77 |
24 |
5 |
484 |
You placed the dog in exile? |
1.3208 |
0.05773 |
106 |
79 |
20 |
7 |
485 |
It's not your fault, it's ours. |
1.3208 |
0.05773 |
106 |
79 |
20 |
7 |
486 |
The taxidermist really captured his ego. |
1.3208 |
0.05927 |
106 |
80 |
18 |
8 |
487 |
Our kingdom has a litter problem. |
1.3208 |
0.05773 |
106 |
79 |
20 |
7 |
488 |
We should have never changed his kibble. |
1.3205 |
0.06187 |
78 |
56 |
19 |
3 |
489 |
My sire, word has arrived that the dog is gathered his troops. |
1.3204 |
0.06203 |
103 |
79 |
15 |
9 |
490 |
For the ninth time, . . . |
1.3204 |
0.06048 |
103 |
78 |
17 |
8 |
491 |
But I loved that canary. |
1.3204 |
0.05888 |
103 |
77 |
19 |
7 |
492 |
Even though we're getting divorced, mommy and daddy don't love you any less. |
1.3204 |
0.05888 |
103 |
77 |
19 |
7 |
493 |
He's not worried about succession, he's got nine lives. |
1.3178 |
0.06027 |
107 |
82 |
16 |
9 |
494 |
Six wives and nine lives isn't so bad, Henry. |
1.3178 |
0.05727 |
107 |
80 |
20 |
7 |
495 |
We declawed him but we can't seem to dethrone him. |
1.3178 |
0.05245 |
107 |
77 |
26 |
4 |
496 |
I have to draw the line at tasting the royal cat food. |
1.3178 |
0.05727 |
107 |
80 |
20 |
7 |
497 |
Your lineage ends here, you know that don't you? |
1.3173 |
0.05997 |
104 |
79 |
17 |
8 |
498 |
Well you did ask me to have him stuffed "as he'd like to be remembered..." |
1.3173 |
0.05511 |
104 |
76 |
23 |
5 |
499 |
He insists on eating only free range mice |
1.3173 |
0.05677 |
104 |
77 |
21 |
6 |
500 |
Four and twenty blackbirds and you wonder why the stomach cramps? |
1.3173 |
0.05997 |
104 |
79 |
17 |
8 |
501 |
I'm telling you, Jim... he's saying "MeNow." |
1.3173 |
0.05840 |
104 |
78 |
19 |
7 |
502 |
Dinner is trapped, your highness. |
1.3173 |
0.05677 |
104 |
77 |
21 |
6 |
503 |
What saddens thee? Why, even the mice who bear your cruelties' brunt adore you... |
1.3152 |
0.06169 |
92 |
69 |
17 |
6 |
504 |
With only one more life to go after this one, Henry is coping as best as he can. |
1.3137 |
0.05570 |
102 |
75 |
22 |
5 |
505 |
'King of the Felines' has a nice ring to it, but we're sticking with 'Whiskers'. |
1.3137 |
0.05570 |
102 |
75 |
22 |
5 |
506 |
We should never have let him see The Lion King. |
1.3137 |
0.06228 |
102 |
79 |
14 |
9 |
507 |
We found some royal subjects on our bedroom carpet. |
1.3137 |
0.05570 |
102 |
75 |
22 |
5 |
508 |
I fear at this point a spray bottle might be considered an act of treason. |
1.3137 |
0.05742 |
102 |
76 |
20 |
6 |
509 |
He forgot the first rule of being King: don't eat all your subjects. |
1.3137 |
0.06228 |
102 |
79 |
14 |
9 |
510 |
He's surprisingly down-to-earth for a cat. |
1.3137 |
0.05570 |
102 |
75 |
22 |
5 |
511 |
I told you we shouldn't name him King. |
1.3137 |
0.06228 |
102 |
79 |
14 |
9 |
512 |
He says he uses our closet because the litter box is such a dump. |
1.3137 |
0.05908 |
102 |
77 |
18 |
7 |
513 |
Our first mistake was naming him Donald. |
1.3137 |
0.06070 |
102 |
78 |
16 |
8 |
514 |
I think she said, 'Peel me a mouse.' |
1.3137 |
0.05570 |
102 |
75 |
22 |
5 |
515 |
Ancestry.com said his great grandfather was King of The Jungle. |
1.3100 |
0.06466 |
100 |
79 |
11 |
10 |
516 |
And thanks to Bob Barker, there's no line of succession. |
1.3100 |
0.05808 |
100 |
75 |
19 |
6 |
517 |
We're going to be terrible parents. |
1.3100 |
0.05808 |
100 |
75 |
19 |
6 |
518 |
Heavy lies the cat who wears the crown. |
1.3100 |
0.05808 |
100 |
75 |
19 |
6 |
519 |
I don't know how to break this to you. We're pregnant. |
1.3100 |
0.05260 |
100 |
72 |
25 |
3 |
520 |
This is why I wanted a dog. |
1.3100 |
0.05979 |
100 |
76 |
17 |
7 |
521 |
He had the dog beheaded. |
1.3100 |
0.06146 |
100 |
77 |
15 |
8 |
522 |
Pampering him?... I don't think we're pampering him. |
1.3100 |
0.05449 |
100 |
73 |
23 |
4 |
523 |
I told you we shouldn't have named him "Trump." |
1.3100 |
0.05979 |
100 |
76 |
17 |
7 |
524 |
We just don't feel 'off with his head' is a proportionate response to Buddy eating out of your dish. |
1.3100 |
0.05631 |
100 |
74 |
21 |
5 |
525 |
I told you not to let him binge-watch. |
1.3100 |
0.05449 |
100 |
73 |
23 |
4 |
526 |
Please let us have a baby! |
1.3100 |
0.05979 |
100 |
76 |
17 |
7 |
527 |
Game of Thrones withdrawal |
1.3100 |
0.05260 |
100 |
72 |
25 |
3 |
528 |
We are having this intervention, because you are really not the King of this household |
1.3100 |
0.05260 |
100 |
72 |
25 |
3 |
529 |
I'm not sure, but I think he said "A mouse...my kingdom for a mouse!" |
1.3100 |
0.05449 |
100 |
73 |
23 |
4 |
530 |
That's fake mews. |
1.3100 |
0.06146 |
100 |
77 |
15 |
8 |
531 |
Cheer up! Don't let the fact that no one came to your "Hair Ball" ruin a perfectly wonderful coronation. |
1.3100 |
0.05631 |
100 |
74 |
21 |
5 |
532 |
He's just learned the coronation was fake mews. |
1.3100 |
0.06146 |
100 |
77 |
15 |
8 |
533 |
So I see he caught the laser dot. |
1.3100 |
0.06146 |
100 |
77 |
15 |
8 |
534 |
Felix we know it hurts to lose your jewels but as far as we are concerned your crown is still intact. |
1.3100 |
0.05979 |
100 |
76 |
17 |
7 |
535 |
We're staging a coup. |
1.3100 |
0.05808 |
100 |
75 |
19 |
6 |
536 |
Yes, you're right. Some pets are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. |
1.3100 |
0.05808 |
100 |
75 |
19 |
6 |
537 |
I refuse to call it a Royal Flush. Just dump the litter box. |
1.3100 |
0.06466 |
100 |
79 |
11 |
10 |
538 |
Maybe we shouldn't have named her "Queenie." |
1.3100 |
0.05979 |
100 |
76 |
17 |
7 |
539 |
So how is this different than normal? |
1.3100 |
0.05631 |
100 |
74 |
21 |
5 |
540 |
When we said that your line of succession had been fixed, you may have misunderstood. |
1.3100 |
0.05979 |
100 |
76 |
17 |
7 |
541 |
I think we've just found the parakeet |
1.3100 |
0.05064 |
100 |
71 |
27 |
2 |
542 |
Is it possible we've overindulged him? |
1.3100 |
0.05449 |
100 |
73 |
23 |
4 |
543 |
'Fat Cat' is actually a compliment, my liege. |
1.3100 |
0.05808 |
100 |
75 |
19 |
6 |
544 |
Since your Lion King theme flopped, let's try Puss in Boots |
1.3100 |
0.05631 |
100 |
74 |
21 |
5 |
545 |
He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl, but I couldn't find his fiddlers three anywhere. |
1.3100 |
0.05631 |
100 |
74 |
21 |
5 |
546 |
Maybe we have spoiled him. |
1.3100 |
0.05631 |
100 |
74 |
21 |
5 |
547 |
I knew we shouldn't have switched him to Fancy Feast. |
1.3100 |
0.05808 |
100 |
75 |
19 |
6 |
548 |
Heavy is the cat that wears the crown... |
1.3100 |
0.06308 |
100 |
78 |
13 |
9 |
549 |
OK, just give him the scepter, but NOT the remote! |
1.3100 |
0.05260 |
100 |
72 |
25 |
3 |
550 |
Tell me again why we didn't get a dog? |
1.3061 |
0.06052 |
98 |
75 |
16 |
7 |
551 |
Look Henry, Fred is moving in tomorrow but I told him he only gets to be prince. |
1.3061 |
0.05876 |
98 |
74 |
18 |
6 |
552 |
Wait 'til he finds out that he'll never have an heir. |
1.3061 |
0.06223 |
98 |
76 |
14 |
8 |
553 |
It was one way to keep him off the sofa... |
1.3061 |
0.05876 |
98 |
74 |
18 |
6 |
554 |
Uneasy lies the cat that wears a crown |
1.3061 |
0.05694 |
98 |
73 |
20 |
5 |
555 |
He's depressed about the line of succession. |
1.3061 |
0.05311 |
98 |
71 |
24 |
3 |
556 |
It's ennui. Melancholy and Weltschmerz are beneath him. |
1.3061 |
0.06223 |
98 |
76 |
14 |
8 |
557 |
"This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted you to worship my pussy." (sorry for the crude language, but ya gotta admit - solid caption.) |
1.3061 |
0.06553 |
98 |
78 |
10 |
10 |
558 |
His first eight lives he was a peasant. |
1.3061 |
0.05506 |
98 |
72 |
22 |
4 |
559 |
Before you decide to give this all up, ask yourself what you would do with a horse if you had one. |
1.3061 |
0.06390 |
98 |
77 |
12 |
9 |
560 |
Yes, Felix, all lions are felines, but not all felines are lions. Sorry! |
1.3061 |
0.05311 |
98 |
71 |
24 |
3 |
561 |
He prefers Lord Fluffykins now. |
1.3061 |
0.05876 |
98 |
74 |
18 |
6 |
562 |
The Aristocats is just a movie. |
1.3061 |
0.05109 |
98 |
70 |
26 |
2 |
563 |
The townsfolk have been overthrown but what about our mouse problem? |
1.3061 |
0.06390 |
98 |
77 |
12 |
9 |
564 |
So, you went to London to visit the Queen. Then what? |
1.3061 |
0.06223 |
98 |
76 |
14 |
8 |
565 |
Herding cats is exhausting. |
1.3061 |
0.05876 |
98 |
74 |
18 |
6 |
566 |
That's the last time we get Fancy Feast. |
1.3061 |
0.05876 |
98 |
74 |
18 |
6 |
567 |
Joe wants you to know he's sorry about dinner tonight and wonders if you will be keeping him on staff. |
1.3043 |
0.06324 |
92 |
71 |
14 |
7 |
568 |
It's important to recognize that there are three co-equal branches of governing this household. |
1.3043 |
0.06132 |
92 |
70 |
16 |
6 |
569 |
Maybe we should have voted for the dog |
1.3030 |
0.05266 |
99 |
72 |
24 |
3 |
570 |
So, having 9 lives has turned out to be exhausting and a bit humbling? |
1.3030 |
0.06168 |
99 |
77 |
14 |
8 |
571 |
We aren't saying we would have a baby—just that, if we did, we wouldn't love it. |
1.3030 |
0.06168 |
99 |
77 |
14 |
8 |
572 |
At least he's not Trump. |
1.3030 |
0.06333 |
99 |
78 |
12 |
9 |
573 |
We'll start with an amuse bouche of pureed oysters, followed by scallop tartare, and then a mouse and vole terrine, and finishing with a catnip sorbet. |
1.3030 |
0.05459 |
99 |
73 |
22 |
4 |
574 |
Would you care for tuna tartare or mousse de canard? |
1.3030 |
0.05998 |
99 |
76 |
16 |
7 |
575 |
What did she mean, 'thank god they didn't have kids?' |
1.3021 |
0.06127 |
96 |
74 |
15 |
7 |
576 |
The emperor needs new claws. |
1.3021 |
0.05758 |
96 |
72 |
19 |
5 |
577 |
Cat King Cole |
1.3021 |
0.05946 |
96 |
73 |
17 |
6 |
578 |
You tell him we're getting a puppy. |
1.3021 |
0.05565 |
96 |
71 |
21 |
4 |
579 |
'Fit for a king' is a marketing gimmick - you just ate too much. |
1.3021 |
0.06304 |
96 |
75 |
13 |
8 |
580 |
Get this through your furry head. We will NOT call you 'Your Highness'! |
1.3021 |
0.06127 |
96 |
74 |
15 |
7 |
581 |
I know the Cowardly Lion....The Cowardly Lion is a friend of mine....You are no Cowardly Lion.....enough, get back in the kitchen. |
1.3021 |
0.06642 |
96 |
77 |
9 |
10 |
582 |
We never did want to tell you that you really are just a cat. |
1.3021 |
0.06304 |
96 |
75 |
13 |
8 |
583 |
Would you consider Ms Fluffy down the street for queen |
1.3021 |
0.05758 |
96 |
72 |
19 |
5 |
584 |
You really shouldn't have called them "a litterbox of deplorables". |
1.3021 |
0.06475 |
96 |
76 |
11 |
9 |
585 |
I'd have you both killed in an instant if I cared enough to utter your names. |
1.3021 |
0.05758 |
96 |
72 |
19 |
5 |
586 |
We didn't think an heir would be so important when we had you neutered. |
1.3021 |
0.06475 |
96 |
76 |
11 |
9 |
587 |
We need to switch to dry food, honey. The Fancy Feast is going to his head. |
1.3021 |
0.05565 |
96 |
71 |
21 |
4 |
588 |
The vet suggested he’s willing to pardon us. |
1.3021 |
0.06806 |
96 |
78 |
7 |
11 |
589 |
We just can't afford Fancy Feast anymore. |
1.3021 |
0.05565 |
96 |
71 |
21 |
4 |
590 |
I told you not to name him Henry! |
1.3021 |
0.05565 |
96 |
71 |
21 |
4 |
591 |
It started with the Fancy Feast. |
1.3021 |
0.05758 |
96 |
72 |
19 |
5 |
592 |
Jim, this cat is a royal pain in the butt! |
1.3021 |
0.05758 |
96 |
72 |
19 |
5 |
593 |
Our president freaked her out. |
1.3000 |
0.07990 |
60 |
47 |
8 |
5 |
594 |
Turns out it's just reigning cats, no dogs. |
1.2979 |
0.06205 |
94 |
73 |
14 |
7 |
595 |
He is very merciful....as long as you go get him the tuna casserole. |
1.2979 |
0.05625 |
94 |
70 |
20 |
4 |
596 |
Sweetheart, there was not one million mice watching. I'm sorry, it's just not true. |
1.2979 |
0.06205 |
94 |
73 |
14 |
7 |
597 |
This Caturday business is getting out of control |
1.2979 |
0.06018 |
94 |
72 |
16 |
6 |
598 |
That's not the way you make "Kitty litter great again". |
1.2979 |
0.06205 |
94 |
73 |
14 |
7 |
599 |
The feast was too fancy. |
1.2979 |
0.05825 |
94 |
71 |
18 |
5 |
600 |
I guess we shouldn't have used Craig's List to find a taxidermist. |
1.2979 |
0.06563 |
94 |
75 |
10 |
9 |
601 |
Heavy is the head that wears the crown. So, too, is the belly that holds the mouse. |
1.2979 |
0.05825 |
94 |
71 |
18 |
5 |
602 |
I hope our pampering makes up for the neutering. |
1.2979 |
0.05625 |
94 |
70 |
20 |
4 |
603 |
He liked your idea of appointing a “Presidential Pussy” but apparently he has someone else in mind. |
1.2979 |
0.06205 |
94 |
73 |
14 |
7 |
604 |
So we are all in agreement. Pussy rules. |
1.2979 |
0.06563 |
94 |
75 |
10 |
9 |
605 |
The results are back. This is not the jungle and you are not the king. |
1.2979 |
0.05825 |
94 |
71 |
18 |
5 |
606 |
But if we got a dog, you would still be king. |
1.2979 |
0.05825 |
94 |
71 |
18 |
5 |
607 |
HENRY THE NEUTERED CONTEMPLATES LIFE WITHOUT HIS ORBS AND SCEPTER |
1.2979 |
0.06205 |
94 |
73 |
14 |
7 |
608 |
He wants a personal groomer, a sleep chamber, and a purring coach. |
1.2979 |
0.06018 |
94 |
72 |
16 |
6 |
609 |
He thinks he's the cat's meow. |
1.2979 |
0.06018 |
94 |
72 |
16 |
6 |
610 |
Do you think it's time we had kids? |
1.2979 |
0.05825 |
94 |
71 |
18 |
5 |
611 |
He has a sixth sense of entitlement. |
1.2979 |
0.05625 |
94 |
70 |
20 |
4 |
612 |
The Fancy Feast has really gone to his head. |
1.2979 |
0.05625 |
94 |
70 |
20 |
4 |
613 |
We should never have let him go on Ancestry.com! |
1.2979 |
0.05202 |
94 |
68 |
24 |
2 |
614 |
Maybe we should cut back on the Fancy Feast. |
1.2979 |
0.06387 |
94 |
74 |
12 |
8 |
615 |
He just realized he rules in a constitutional monarchy, and his powers are purely ceremonial. |
1.2979 |
0.06018 |
94 |
72 |
16 |
6 |
616 |
Cats rule. Dogs drool. We get that. |
1.2979 |
0.06018 |
94 |
72 |
16 |
6 |
617 |
I just thought it would partially make up for the vet taking away his, um, crown jewels. |
1.2976 |
0.06287 |
84 |
64 |
15 |
5 |
618 |
We need to talk about your cattitude. |
1.2967 |
0.05949 |
91 |
69 |
17 |
5 |
619 |
You can keep the throne; crown and robe go back to Mar-a-Lago - and tell him you're sorry. |
1.2967 |
0.06151 |
91 |
70 |
15 |
6 |
620 |
We should have seen this coming when he promised the other cats he'd build a wall to keep the dogs out. |
1.2935 |
0.06473 |
92 |
73 |
11 |
8 |
621 |
Maybe just a tad overdressed for the vet. |
1.2935 |
0.05893 |
92 |
70 |
17 |
5 |
622 |
Maybe it was the four and twenty blackbirds. |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
623 |
We meant cat hair...not cat heir. |
1.2935 |
0.05250 |
92 |
67 |
23 |
2 |
624 |
I prefer his Macbeth. |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
625 |
You were adopted. |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
626 |
Hey, Queen of Spayeds, your dinner's ready. |
1.2935 |
0.05893 |
92 |
70 |
17 |
5 |
627 |
Maybe naming him "The Donald" wasn't such a good idea after all. |
1.2935 |
0.06655 |
92 |
74 |
9 |
9 |
628 |
Why didn't we quash this back when he was just an obnoxious kitten? |
1.2935 |
0.05893 |
92 |
70 |
17 |
5 |
629 |
What? Chicken? Tuna? Fish pate'? What? |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
630 |
At least when he's sleeping he's not tweeting. |
1.2935 |
0.05893 |
92 |
70 |
17 |
5 |
631 |
The whole "King of the Forest" thing kind of ended with canned food. |
1.2935 |
0.05687 |
92 |
69 |
19 |
4 |
632 |
We are all disappointed that William and Kate chose a hampster. |
1.2935 |
0.05687 |
92 |
69 |
19 |
4 |
633 |
We think its time to stop feeding you from the table. |
1.2935 |
0.06286 |
92 |
72 |
13 |
7 |
634 |
Life under Purrsian rule |
1.2935 |
0.05893 |
92 |
70 |
17 |
5 |
635 |
You tell him that it's only a titular office. |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
636 |
This is number 9. He's finally dead. I'm in charge again, no more cats. |
1.2935 |
0.06286 |
92 |
72 |
13 |
7 |
637 |
The King of Beasts still needs a litter box. |
1.2935 |
0.05687 |
92 |
69 |
19 |
4 |
638 |
But sire, the dog said he doesn't WANT to be neutered. |
1.2935 |
0.05893 |
92 |
70 |
17 |
5 |
639 |
Heavy is the Tabby that wears the crown. |
1.2935 |
0.06286 |
92 |
72 |
13 |
7 |
640 |
Maybe it's time we told him he's a rescue, not a regent |
1.2935 |
0.05687 |
92 |
69 |
19 |
4 |
641 |
I know what Ancestry.com said but you still have to use the litter box. |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
642 |
Of course the barking next door is annoying, we agree - but is military action really an option? |
1.2935 |
0.05473 |
92 |
68 |
21 |
3 |
643 |
So, what are you king of exactly? |
1.2935 |
0.06286 |
92 |
72 |
13 |
7 |
644 |
Maybe enough with the "Fancy Feast?" |
1.2935 |
0.05687 |
92 |
69 |
19 |
4 |
645 |
It's OK. Not every emperor has clothes. |
1.2935 |
0.05893 |
92 |
70 |
17 |
5 |
646 |
It's your fault. You created his Instagram page. |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
647 |
Le roi, c'est miaou. |
1.2935 |
0.05893 |
92 |
70 |
17 |
5 |
648 |
Order something from Amazon and give me the box. |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
649 |
If only he'd stop giving the mice pardons. |
1.2935 |
0.05893 |
92 |
70 |
17 |
5 |
650 |
The kids would really like their sandbox back. |
1.2935 |
0.05250 |
92 |
67 |
23 |
2 |
651 |
Frankly we said neutered not knighted |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
652 |
Where did you think I would get the fur trim? |
1.2935 |
0.06093 |
92 |
71 |
15 |
6 |
653 |
You're not a Windsor. You're not a Tudor. You're just a cat. Get over it! |
1.2927 |
0.06829 |
82 |
65 |
10 |
7 |
654 |
We've asked you here tonight because we love you, and we want to tell you from us: we're adopting a dog. |
1.2927 |
0.06829 |
82 |
65 |
10 |
7 |
655 |
Mr. Whiskers? We're just wondering if you've seen Miss Feathers? |
1.2927 |
0.06829 |
82 |
65 |
10 |
7 |
656 |
We will remain your faithful subjects, King Kitty, but in different houses, so now you will have two kingdoms! |
1.2927 |
0.07046 |
82 |
66 |
8 |
8 |
657 |
Remember how we agreed not to leave him with your mother? |
1.2921 |
0.05806 |
89 |
67 |
18 |
4 |
658 |
Dad and I have decided it's time you started paying rent. |
1.2921 |
0.06231 |
89 |
69 |
14 |
6 |
659 |
Sorry, we won't cut the dog's head off. |
1.2921 |
0.05806 |
89 |
67 |
18 |
4 |
660 |
I told you it was a mistake to name him Donald. |
1.2921 |
0.06432 |
89 |
70 |
12 |
7 |
661 |
Well, his YouTube channel does make more than us. |
1.2921 |
0.05806 |
89 |
67 |
18 |
4 |
662 |
So, this is the cat's pajamas? |
1.2921 |
0.05582 |
89 |
66 |
20 |
3 |
663 |
He had his second wife declawed. |
1.2921 |
0.06022 |
89 |
68 |
16 |
5 |
664 |
"Nothing excites him anymore". |
1.2889 |
0.05964 |
90 |
69 |
16 |
5 |
665 |
It's time to tell you why there will be no heirs. |
1.2889 |
0.05751 |
90 |
68 |
18 |
4 |
666 |
Not abdication, just stop spraying the drapes. |
1.2889 |
0.06562 |
90 |
72 |
10 |
8 |
667 |
He now taxes the mice instead of eating them. |
1.2889 |
0.05964 |
90 |
69 |
16 |
5 |
668 |
What do you mean, 'let them eat tuna!'.?? |
1.2889 |
0.05964 |
90 |
69 |
16 |
5 |
669 |
When it comes to your majesty's personal hygiene, the royal we does not include us. |
1.2889 |
0.06170 |
90 |
70 |
14 |
6 |
670 |
So, you do understand that Fido won the popular vote? |
1.2889 |
0.06170 |
90 |
70 |
14 |
6 |
671 |
We're both really sorry. The vet assured us that it would improve your personality. |
1.2889 |
0.06369 |
90 |
71 |
12 |
7 |
672 |
He's been binge-watching Downton Tabby. |
1.2889 |
0.05964 |
90 |
69 |
16 |
5 |
673 |
It's that only child thing |
1.2889 |
0.05751 |
90 |
68 |
18 |
4 |
674 |
He said he's too pooped to conquer. |
1.2889 |
0.05751 |
90 |
68 |
18 |
4 |
675 |
Seems he didn't fancy the lobster... back to Beluga. |
1.2889 |
0.05964 |
90 |
69 |
16 |
5 |
676 |
You're 18 now, you need to move out. |
1.2889 |
0.06170 |
90 |
70 |
14 |
6 |
677 |
Catnip always gives him delusions of grandeur. |
1.2889 |
0.05529 |
90 |
67 |
20 |
3 |
678 |
It wouldn't be for about nine months, but we wanted to ask you first. |
1.2889 |
0.06170 |
90 |
70 |
14 |
6 |
679 |
It was only a month ago, he was completely feral. |
1.2889 |
0.05751 |
90 |
68 |
18 |
4 |
680 |
A mouse, a mouse, my kingdom for a mouse! |
1.2889 |
0.05964 |
90 |
69 |
16 |
5 |
681 |
Would it help if we peeled you a mouse? |
1.2889 |
0.06562 |
90 |
72 |
10 |
8 |
682 |
He pronounced himself ruler of mice and men. |
1.2889 |
0.05751 |
90 |
68 |
18 |
4 |
683 |
When you said you'd adopted a Cavalier King Charles, this wasn't what I'd imagined. |
1.2889 |
0.05964 |
90 |
69 |
16 |
5 |
684 |
But if you banish us, who will feed you? |
1.2889 |
0.05964 |
90 |
69 |
16 |
5 |
685 |
Agreed, naming the cat Trump might not have been the best idea. |
1.2889 |
0.06170 |
90 |
70 |
14 |
6 |
686 |
I told you switching to Fancy Feast would go to his head. |
1.2889 |
0.06369 |
90 |
71 |
12 |
7 |
687 |
I think eating all this "Fancy Feast" has gone to his head... |
1.2889 |
0.05529 |
90 |
67 |
20 |
3 |
688 |
'Puss and Boots 2' just went straight to video |
1.2889 |
0.05529 |
90 |
67 |
20 |
3 |
689 |
Another hard day rounding up undocumented dogs. |
1.2889 |
0.05751 |
90 |
68 |
18 |
4 |
690 |
Snuggles, I don't care that your DNA test shows you are a Royal Siamese. We're sending it all back and I'm cancelling your Mastercard. |
1.2889 |
0.05964 |
90 |
69 |
16 |
5 |
691 |
Let them eat mice. |
1.2889 |
0.06170 |
90 |
70 |
14 |
6 |
692 |
He’s getting sleepy. Hurry up and ask your favor. |
1.2889 |
0.05751 |
90 |
68 |
18 |
4 |
693 |
He catches one little mouse and thinks he's king |
1.2874 |
0.06521 |
87 |
69 |
11 |
7 |
694 |
Maybe we shouldn't have let him watch The Lion King. |
1.2874 |
0.05874 |
87 |
66 |
17 |
4 |
695 |
...and when you're a star, they let you do anything. |
1.2874 |
0.06313 |
87 |
68 |
13 |
6 |
696 |
He grabbed the wrong pussy. |
1.2874 |
0.06521 |
87 |
69 |
11 |
7 |
697 |
Don't blame me, I didn't vote for the cat. |
1.2874 |
0.06313 |
87 |
68 |
13 |
6 |
698 |
No, the crown does not make you look fat. |
1.2874 |
0.05400 |
87 |
64 |
21 |
2 |
699 |
As far as we're concerned, your video did go viral. |
1.2874 |
0.06097 |
87 |
67 |
15 |
5 |
700 |
I've come to see you as more of an outdoor couple. |
1.2874 |
0.06521 |
87 |
69 |
11 |
7 |
701 |
We have only ourselves to blame. |
1.2874 |
0.06097 |
87 |
67 |
15 |
5 |
702 |
It's your turn to dip the dead mice in chocolate. |
1.2874 |
0.05874 |
87 |
66 |
17 |
4 |
703 |
Maybe we need a hobby? |
1.2874 |
0.06097 |
87 |
67 |
15 |
5 |
704 |
I told you not to name him Hamlet. |
1.2874 |
0.06097 |
87 |
67 |
15 |
5 |
705 |
Your father and I need to tell you something. . . you're adopted |
1.2874 |
0.06097 |
87 |
67 |
15 |
5 |
706 |
The neighbor's dog showed him he doesn't really rule the animal kingdom. |
1.2874 |
0.06097 |
87 |
67 |
15 |
5 |
707 |
Remember, if Trump can be elected - you can be anything you want to be. |
1.2874 |
0.06097 |
87 |
67 |
15 |
5 |
708 |
Lord, the vet says you have fleas. |
1.2841 |
0.05348 |
88 |
65 |
21 |
2 |
709 |
This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted you to treat my pussy as royalty. |
1.2841 |
0.06455 |
88 |
70 |
11 |
7 |
710 |
But wise one, if we slice the dog in half, will he not die? |
1.2841 |
0.06249 |
88 |
69 |
13 |
6 |
711 |
Your turn in the jester outfit. |
1.2841 |
0.05816 |
88 |
67 |
17 |
4 |
712 |
We are Cat people. We're just not King Cat people. |
1.2841 |
0.06249 |
88 |
69 |
13 |
6 |
713 |
We're sorry. It never occurred to us that having a legitimate heir to the throne would mean so much to you. |
1.2841 |
0.06455 |
88 |
70 |
11 |
7 |
714 |
We have some bad news, Tabby - it's actually just the lion that's the king of the jungle. |
1.2841 |
0.05816 |
88 |
67 |
17 |
4 |
715 |
Do you think, maybe, we might have become those sort of people? |
1.2841 |
0.05348 |
88 |
65 |
21 |
2 |
716 |
I fear he's developed a bad case of Trump Complex. |
1.2841 |
0.05348 |
88 |
65 |
21 |
2 |
717 |
We never should've told him that he's related to lions. |
1.2841 |
0.06036 |
88 |
68 |
15 |
5 |
718 |
He's been binge watching Game of Thrones on the Cat Channel... |
1.2841 |
0.06036 |
88 |
68 |
15 |
5 |
719 |
I told you naming him Donald would set the wrong expectations. |
1.2841 |
0.06249 |
88 |
69 |
13 |
6 |
720 |
We don't like who you become after you've had Fancy Feast. |
1.2841 |
0.05587 |
88 |
66 |
19 |
3 |
721 |
We've decided to get a dog, and we're going to name him Rex. You might want to reconsider your attitude. |
1.2840 |
0.06145 |
81 |
62 |
15 |
4 |
722 |
I don't know how the Joneses do it with three! |
1.2840 |
0.06628 |
81 |
64 |
11 |
6 |
723 |
We would like to take a couple of days vacation. What do you think? |
1.2840 |
0.06628 |
81 |
64 |
11 |
6 |
724 |
I'm beginning to doubt that this is what the Pet Therapist had in mind. |
1.2840 |
0.05889 |
81 |
61 |
17 |
3 |
725 |
Do you want your kill au poivre or with bernaise sauce? |
1.2824 |
0.05189 |
85 |
62 |
22 |
1 |
726 |
One way or another, we will bring you the head of The Red Dot. |
1.2824 |
0.06398 |
85 |
67 |
12 |
6 |
727 |
He's just discovered Game of Thrones. |
1.2824 |
0.05703 |
85 |
64 |
18 |
3 |
728 |
I think the cat sitter spoils him. |
1.2824 |
0.06175 |
85 |
66 |
14 |
5 |
729 |
One too many canaries. |
1.2824 |
0.06175 |
85 |
66 |
14 |
5 |
730 |
Ok fine, no more binge watching Game of Thrones. |
1.2824 |
0.06821 |
85 |
69 |
8 |
8 |
731 |
It's OK that you have no clothes. |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
732 |
Don't tell us there wasn't a palace party - there was catnip everywhere and a palm tree in the cat box. |
1.2824 |
0.06175 |
85 |
66 |
14 |
5 |
733 |
But you tried to catch the mouse, and that's what counts. |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
734 |
The veterinarian said it's the Trump effect. |
1.2824 |
0.06175 |
85 |
66 |
14 |
5 |
735 |
I'm sorry, but it's a constitutional monarchy. |
1.2824 |
0.05703 |
85 |
64 |
18 |
3 |
736 |
Since she got hooked on PBS, she identifies as Victoria, not Pussin-Boots. |
1.2824 |
0.05452 |
85 |
63 |
20 |
2 |
737 |
The bad news is you're being neutered. |
1.2824 |
0.05703 |
85 |
64 |
18 |
3 |
738 |
We have reason to believe Rufus' death may not have been an accident. |
1.2824 |
0.06398 |
85 |
67 |
12 |
6 |
739 |
Sure, he can govern. But how is he at catching mice? |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
740 |
Do you think we let him watch The Lion King too often? |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
741 |
I agree that the crowd at the Coronation was the largest ever! Just huge and you never looked better! |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
742 |
Should we tell him he's no longer sitting pretty? |
1.2824 |
0.06175 |
85 |
66 |
14 |
5 |
743 |
It's not working. He's still ignoring us. |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
744 |
You get nine lives, darling, not wives |
1.2824 |
0.06398 |
85 |
67 |
12 |
6 |
745 |
I don't know what else you want from us |
1.2824 |
0.05703 |
85 |
64 |
18 |
3 |
746 |
Do you think we might have spoiled him? |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
747 |
It all started when he figured out how to tweet lies about the dog ... |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
748 |
I'm sorry sweetie, but I don't think "Let them eat Friskies" is an appropriate response. |
1.2824 |
0.05452 |
85 |
63 |
20 |
2 |
749 |
I'm getting concerned. He wants to abdicate. |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
750 |
OK, so maybe it's not the best of your nine, but surely we're in the top three |
1.2824 |
0.06398 |
85 |
67 |
12 |
6 |
751 |
After he tweets he watches television all day. |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
752 |
I'm leaving you for a man with a dog. |
1.2824 |
0.06175 |
85 |
66 |
14 |
5 |
753 |
Let's just be glad he's not into Breaking Bad. |
1.2824 |
0.05703 |
85 |
64 |
18 |
3 |
754 |
In terms of lives, you're now Henry the 9th. |
1.2824 |
0.06175 |
85 |
66 |
14 |
5 |
755 |
That Trump Brand (c) cat food really works! |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
756 |
Donald, We are sorry but Fox & friends is not on today |
1.2824 |
0.05703 |
85 |
64 |
18 |
3 |
757 |
We need to talk.. |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
758 |
There is unrest throughout the alley because you have sired too many heirs. |
1.2824 |
0.05944 |
85 |
65 |
16 |
4 |
759 |
I told you not to name her Princess! |
1.2824 |
0.06398 |
85 |
67 |
12 |
6 |
760 |
We think you should stop binge-watching Game of Thrones. |
1.2812 |
0.06481 |
64 |
48 |
14 |
2 |
761 |
We'll keep Rex outside but we're not putting him in chains. |
1.2805 |
0.06322 |
82 |
64 |
13 |
5 |
762 |
Thank goodness we never had children. |
1.2805 |
0.06556 |
82 |
65 |
11 |
6 |
763 |
So Rex, your analyst and I have been chatting... |
1.2805 |
0.06079 |
82 |
63 |
15 |
4 |
764 |
That's the third vet he's fired this week. |
1.2805 |
0.06322 |
82 |
64 |
13 |
5 |
765 |
We honestly had no idea eight lives would fly by that fast. |
1.2805 |
0.06556 |
82 |
65 |
11 |
6 |
766 |
We may be the hoi polloi, but you do remember that you need us for food & water & stuff, right? |
1.2805 |
0.06556 |
82 |
65 |
11 |
6 |
767 |
But we promise to be home by dinner. |
1.2805 |
0.06079 |
82 |
63 |
15 |
4 |
768 |
It's your turn to give him his foot massage. |
1.2805 |
0.06556 |
82 |
65 |
11 |
6 |
769 |
So. You got your tongue? |
1.2805 |
0.06782 |
82 |
66 |
9 |
7 |
770 |
But we agreed you'd return it after Halloween. |
1.2805 |
0.06322 |
82 |
64 |
13 |
5 |
771 |
Where did you get the catnip ? |
1.2805 |
0.06782 |
82 |
66 |
9 |
7 |
772 |
We can't behead the dog. |
1.2805 |
0.06556 |
82 |
65 |
11 |
6 |
773 |
It's time you knew, Wigglesworth. You were adopted. |
1.2805 |
0.05827 |
82 |
62 |
17 |
3 |
774 |
Don't worry. We can get more mice. |
1.2805 |
0.06079 |
82 |
63 |
15 |
4 |
775 |
He's been like this ever since the dog died. |
1.2805 |
0.06079 |
82 |
63 |
15 |
4 |
776 |
What kind of boots? |
1.2805 |
0.05827 |
82 |
62 |
17 |
3 |
777 |
You have to stop binge watching ' Game of Thrones'. |
1.2791 |
0.06750 |
86 |
70 |
8 |
8 |
778 |
We should never have let him watch Puss & Boots |
1.2791 |
0.06331 |
86 |
68 |
12 |
6 |
779 |
Just a year ago he was feral & eating out of garbage cans! |
1.2791 |
0.05646 |
86 |
65 |
18 |
3 |
780 |
We would like to discuss tonight's menu. |
1.2791 |
0.05883 |
86 |
66 |
16 |
4 |
781 |
You'd really abdicate all this for an alley cat? |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
782 |
He's descended from Louis the Furteenth. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
783 |
I can never tell when he wants attention. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
784 |
It's your turn to rub his belly. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
785 |
Now can we pet you? |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
786 |
tragically, all too soon, Gingerbread is feeling the futility of power |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
787 |
His kingdom for a mouse. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
788 |
YOU had to go and tell him this was a democracy! |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
789 |
You say it worked for the frog? |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
790 |
Ok. So will you now please tell us where you put the remote? |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
791 |
See why I hate cats. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
792 |
I need my boots! |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
793 |
Yes, Majesty, the cat next door will pay for the wall. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
794 |
...pate en croute...coq au vin...ratatouille...blanquette de veau...bouillabaisse...or? |
1.2771 |
0.04943 |
83 |
60 |
23 |
0 |
795 |
Now that Timmy's in college, you'll be taking his place in the family. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
796 |
Do you think he's seriously considering abdicating? |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
797 |
What ticks me off is how he just expects lifestyle improvements. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
798 |
We're thinking about getting a dog |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
799 |
Look, we bought you the crown but we didn't think you'd turn into an asshole. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
800 |
We would have made great parents. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
801 |
We shouldn't have named him Trump |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
802 |
We think you should imagine this conversation more as implied introspection, and not as an intrusive intervention. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
803 |
We're hoping you might consider cutting down just a bit on your catnip consumption. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
804 |
You should see his litter box. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
805 |
Seeing how he does rule the house, I thought, I'd make it official. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
806 |
Isn't this healthier than watching the current administration flatter the president? |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
807 |
Eight down, one to go. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
808 |
I could call the shelter, but I don't think they'll take him back. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
809 |
Just because we want children doesn’t mean we don’t love you. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
810 |
You can't become Queen dear. You've been fixed. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
811 |
Please accept the fact that being fixed means you have no heir to the throne. |
1.2738 |
0.05706 |
84 |
64 |
17 |
3 |
812 |
He fired his communications director... |
1.2738 |
0.06416 |
84 |
67 |
11 |
6 |
813 |
We tried to tell you being king would be complicated. |
1.2738 |
0.05952 |
84 |
65 |
15 |
4 |
814 |
He just got his results back from Ancestry.com, and it turns out he's Egyptian royalty. |
1.2738 |
0.06849 |
84 |
69 |
7 |
8 |
815 |
Relax. The dogs of war have been boarded. |
1.2738 |
0.05706 |
84 |
64 |
17 |
3 |
816 |
You have no heirs, Your Majesty, because... |
1.2738 |
0.06636 |
84 |
68 |
9 |
7 |
817 |
No -- he's not "just a cat." |
1.2738 |
0.06189 |
84 |
66 |
13 |
5 |
818 |
I liked him when he was just plain Henry. |
1.2738 |
0.05449 |
84 |
63 |
19 |
2 |
819 |
He's gone through our entire supply of mouse jesters. |
1.2738 |
0.06189 |
84 |
66 |
13 |
5 |
820 |
I'm afraid letting her watch Game of Thrones with us for the last 6 years has gone to her head. |
1.2738 |
0.06189 |
84 |
66 |
13 |
5 |
821 |
We played along, but having the dog beheaded went too far. |
1.2738 |
0.06636 |
84 |
68 |
9 |
7 |
822 |
I know you're bored, but we just can't afford a court jester. |
1.2738 |
0.05952 |
84 |
65 |
15 |
4 |
823 |
You'll have to abdicate if I let you out. |
1.2716 |
0.05830 |
81 |
62 |
16 |
3 |
824 |
We are not amused |
1.2716 |
0.06337 |
81 |
64 |
12 |
5 |
825 |
There will be no heirs, you were neutered. |
1.2716 |
0.06337 |
81 |
64 |
12 |
5 |
826 |
What if we do something to make him feel special? |
1.2716 |
0.06337 |
81 |
64 |
12 |
5 |
827 |
Fluffy, I'd like to introduce you to my new boyfriend Jake. I hope you two will get along. |
1.2716 |
0.05830 |
81 |
62 |
16 |
3 |
828 |
I told you that calling her "Princess" would go too far. |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
829 |
He changed after we did his ancestry testing. |
1.2716 |
0.05559 |
81 |
61 |
18 |
2 |
830 |
With all due respect, we'd like to discuss some type of power sharing arrangement. |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
831 |
He says he's into Game Of Thrones but I caught him watching Fox News |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
832 |
Mom keeps saying we spoil him too much. |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
833 |
I said, 'Well, you're not actually king of the beasts.' He's taking it poorly. |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
834 |
I didn't know you were a cat person. |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
835 |
Honey, don't be sad, Fat cat is just a term used for the rich and important. |
1.2716 |
0.05830 |
81 |
62 |
16 |
3 |
836 |
So then I thought, why not just make it official? |
1.2716 |
0.07030 |
81 |
67 |
6 |
8 |
837 |
So no, neutral is a totally different thing. |
1.2716 |
0.06576 |
81 |
65 |
10 |
6 |
838 |
Would you be too upset if we went away for the weekend? |
1.2716 |
0.05830 |
81 |
62 |
16 |
3 |
839 |
At least he's not tweeting about us. |
1.2716 |
0.06576 |
81 |
65 |
10 |
6 |
840 |
It was probably that thing about promising you'd catch more mice than the world had ever seen...thousands...millions... |
1.2716 |
0.06337 |
81 |
64 |
12 |
5 |
841 |
Peel me a mouse. |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
842 |
We should have had children. |
1.2716 |
0.06807 |
81 |
66 |
8 |
7 |
843 |
Puissant, isn't he? |
1.2716 |
0.06576 |
81 |
65 |
10 |
6 |
844 |
The dog wants his stuff back. |
1.2716 |
0.05830 |
81 |
62 |
16 |
3 |
845 |
You're right. We'd suck at raising kids. |
1.2716 |
0.06337 |
81 |
64 |
12 |
5 |
846 |
Can't you just try canned tuna? |
1.2716 |
0.05830 |
81 |
62 |
16 |
3 |
847 |
We want to talk about your sense of white cat privilege |
1.2716 |
0.06337 |
81 |
64 |
12 |
5 |
848 |
We know this will come as a disappointment, but 'Princess' is just a name. |
1.2716 |
0.06576 |
81 |
65 |
10 |
6 |
849 |
So, can we assume you prefer being an indoor cat? |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
850 |
You're just not merry enough to play Old King Cole. |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
851 |
He wears indolence well don't you think? |
1.2716 |
0.06089 |
81 |
63 |
14 |
4 |
852 |
What if we held a fur ball? |
1.2716 |
0.06807 |
81 |
66 |
8 |
7 |
853 |
Do you think we're in his will? |
1.2716 |
0.05830 |
81 |
62 |
16 |
3 |
854 |
Apparently he is not familiar with the concept of noblesse oblige. |
1.2716 |
0.06337 |
81 |
64 |
12 |
5 |
855 |
The dog is gone, my lord. |
1.2716 |
0.05830 |
81 |
62 |
16 |
3 |
856 |
What do you mean you're not getting more humans when we're gone? |
1.2716 |
0.06576 |
81 |
65 |
10 |
6 |
857 |
Chicken or Fish? Take your time. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
858 |
Elect a clown. Expect a circus! |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
859 |
It's reigning cats, not dogs. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
860 |
I know it’s unsettling, but it’s true. We’re Democrats. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
861 |
We really think you'd be more fulfilled if you went outside and mingled with the commoners. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
862 |
Little does he know, he's the last of his line. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
863 |
I still don't understand why they call me a crazy cat lady. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
864 |
Caesar, we wanted to let you know we have adopted two new kittens, Brutus and Cassius. |
1.2683 |
0.05501 |
82 |
62 |
18 |
2 |
865 |
It's not as bad as you think - he is actually a very benevolent ruler. |
1.2683 |
0.05220 |
82 |
61 |
20 |
1 |
866 |
You're a cat, dear, not a corgi. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
867 |
Were we wrong to name him Donald? |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
868 |
Its time we tell the cat it was born in an alley |
1.2683 |
0.06952 |
82 |
68 |
6 |
8 |
869 |
The taxidermist called it the "royale package." |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
870 |
We're The Butlers. Not yours. |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
871 |
Where did President Trump grab you? |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
872 |
You need to stop with the videos and go out and play. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
873 |
The Lion King was just a cartoon. It's not real life… |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
874 |
I worry that we're spoiling her. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
875 |
I don't spoil him that much. |
1.2658 |
0.05614 |
79 |
60 |
17 |
2 |
876 |
Yes, we like you to think outside the box; just not the litter box. |
1.2658 |
0.05614 |
79 |
60 |
17 |
2 |
877 |
I'm sorry, but we're pregnant. You're going have to learn to share power. |
1.2658 |
0.05896 |
79 |
61 |
15 |
3 |
878 |
Losing the popular vote doesn't mean you're not popular. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
879 |
Too much catnip, your Highness? |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
880 |
Your dominion is the litter box. |
1.2658 |
0.06909 |
79 |
65 |
7 |
7 |
881 |
It was your idea to name him Donald. |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
882 |
Is that what you call giving my pussy the royal treatment? |
1.2658 |
0.06909 |
79 |
65 |
7 |
7 |
883 |
Looks like you've grabbed your last pussy. |
1.2658 |
0.06670 |
79 |
64 |
9 |
6 |
884 |
Actually, this just accentuates his everyday lack of clothing. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
885 |
It all started when you gave him Fancy Feast. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
886 |
Okay, belly rub, Jim will quarter the mice, then butt grooming, ignore us while you take nap number eight so that you'll be prepared to tear up the carpet at your usual 3:18AM; got it. |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
887 |
Maybe you've gone astray. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
888 |
I don’t know- since he executed all of his enemies, drank their blood and then ate their children, he’s just lost his kitten playfulness. |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
889 |
Cheer up, Liberace, your glitter litter is here! |
1.2658 |
0.05002 |
79 |
58 |
21 |
0 |
890 |
Honey, we really should make sure we don't confuse catnip for weed. |
1.2658 |
0.05896 |
79 |
61 |
15 |
3 |
891 |
I liked his inferiority complex better. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
892 |
We're not going to sugarcoat it. We are not flying the Union Jack whenever you're in the house. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
893 |
We did tell the taxidermist to make him look regal. |
1.2658 |
0.05614 |
79 |
60 |
17 |
2 |
894 |
Since we let our cat rule us, does this mean we're liberals? |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
895 |
Maybe we shouldn't have named him Trumpie. |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
896 |
That "grab 'em by the pussy" brag keeps coming back up like a hairball. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
897 |
The Vet thinks that neutering might help. |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
898 |
Lion King is JUST a movie, Felix! |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
899 |
He's been like this ever since his video hit five million views |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
900 |
Well...how about line-caught salmon? |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
901 |
I Don't care who he thinks he is he still has to use the kitty litter box |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
902 |
I told you that Fancy Feast food would go to his head. |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
903 |
This one isn't as subtle as the last one. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
904 |
If only my pussy was treated this well |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
905 |
I think we're spoiling him. |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
906 |
I know "heavy is the head that wears the crown"-your job is still to catch mice. |
1.2658 |
0.05614 |
79 |
60 |
17 |
2 |
907 |
He has a very solid base among the alt-rat. |
1.2658 |
0.06909 |
79 |
65 |
7 |
7 |
908 |
I told you we should have gotten a dog. |
1.2658 |
0.06423 |
79 |
63 |
11 |
5 |
909 |
"Let them eat kibble." - Meowie Antoinette |
1.2658 |
0.05896 |
79 |
61 |
15 |
3 |
910 |
Governing is a lot harder than he thought it's be. |
1.2658 |
0.05896 |
79 |
61 |
15 |
3 |
911 |
Our mistake was treating her like a queen. |
1.2658 |
0.05896 |
79 |
61 |
15 |
3 |
912 |
We should have thought about the line of succession before we had him neutered. |
1.2658 |
0.06670 |
79 |
64 |
9 |
6 |
913 |
We need to stop showing him documentaries on Ancient Egpyt. |
1.2658 |
0.06165 |
79 |
62 |
13 |
4 |
914 |
Cheer up. At least you won for "Miss Congeniality"l |
1.2651 |
0.05707 |
83 |
64 |
16 |
3 |
915 |
He didn't realize ruling the animal kingdom would be so hard. |
1.2651 |
0.05707 |
83 |
64 |
16 |
3 |
916 |
Your kingdom needs you to solve the mouse situation. |
1.2651 |
0.06201 |
83 |
66 |
12 |
5 |
917 |
The vet says it's PCD...post coronation depression. |
1.2651 |
0.06201 |
83 |
66 |
12 |
5 |
918 |
...so instead the vet put us on some new meds to make us more sympathetic to his point of view. |
1.2651 |
0.06433 |
83 |
67 |
10 |
6 |
919 |
Good thing, he lost the popular vote. |
1.2651 |
0.05707 |
83 |
64 |
16 |
3 |
920 |
Could we have one child? |
1.2651 |
0.06201 |
83 |
66 |
12 |
5 |
921 |
Even though you're the King now, you can't just grab 'em by the pussy. |
1.2651 |
0.06201 |
83 |
66 |
12 |
5 |
922 |
So we have your permission to marry? |
1.2651 |
0.05444 |
83 |
63 |
18 |
2 |
923 |
Fluffy, you have to stop making the dog eat cake. |
1.2651 |
0.05707 |
83 |
64 |
16 |
3 |
924 |
It's reigning cats. |
1.2651 |
0.05707 |
83 |
64 |
16 |
3 |
925 |
He has been watching Game of Thrones. |
1.2651 |
0.05959 |
83 |
65 |
14 |
4 |
926 |
Your highness, having 9 lives is more than most of us. |
1.2642 |
0.07204 |
53 |
41 |
10 |
2 |
927 |
Canned it is. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
928 |
You think we've been a tad too indulgent? |
1.2597 |
0.05359 |
77 |
58 |
18 |
1 |
929 |
I think he's developing an attitude. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
930 |
One of you needs to see a therapist. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
931 |
Shouldn't the king be wearing his pants? |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
932 |
And you thought a cat would be low maintenance. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
933 |
Hail, Kitty Kitty ... |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
934 |
So, just how are we supposed to come in on Little Cat Feet? |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
935 |
We have noticed you've been hitting the catnip more as of late. |
1.2597 |
0.06511 |
77 |
62 |
10 |
5 |
936 |
The dog was one thing. But Dad's always been so nice to you. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
937 |
so, where did you lose your boots? |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
938 |
Not to worry. You have 8 more lives to establish your legacy |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
939 |
Worst case scenario: He reigns the whole four years. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
940 |
Now he communicates only by tweets. |
1.2597 |
0.05669 |
77 |
59 |
16 |
2 |
941 |
Maybe we should just give him some of my Xanax instead. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
942 |
I know... but he's a stray. And, I think he likes football. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
943 |
We should have never taken him to see the Lion King |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
944 |
And you're absolutely sure you don't know anything about Mrs. Keldorf's canary? |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
945 |
He wants to watch the Lion King, again. |
1.2597 |
0.06511 |
77 |
62 |
10 |
5 |
946 |
They say, 'Uneasy lays the head that wears a crown.' My ass. |
1.2597 |
0.06511 |
77 |
62 |
10 |
5 |
947 |
I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sick of bringing him dead mice. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
948 |
"Do you think it's time to have a kid? |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
949 |
We should have just had a child |
1.2597 |
0.06768 |
77 |
63 |
8 |
6 |
950 |
He was more of an 'anything but a dog' choice. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
951 |
Honey, I thought we agreed on cremation. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
952 |
So now that you are truly king will you stop throwing up on the carpet? |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
953 |
What meddlesome mouse? |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
954 |
I agree, it's a bit much, but he did get rid of the mice. |
1.2597 |
0.05669 |
77 |
59 |
16 |
2 |
955 |
Sorry Bill, you must leave. The cat won. |
1.2597 |
0.06511 |
77 |
62 |
10 |
5 |
956 |
His attitude is really starting to show. |
1.2597 |
0.05359 |
77 |
58 |
18 |
1 |
957 |
The jester will be back from the vet's tomorrow. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
958 |
Yes, you were adopted, we should have told you sooner. |
1.2597 |
0.05669 |
77 |
59 |
16 |
2 |
959 |
You didn't hear it from me, but the dog and fish are planning a coup. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
960 |
Seriously, Dad... if you do post the video, PLEASE don't mention my name. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
961 |
What if Don got neutered too? |
1.2597 |
0.06768 |
77 |
63 |
8 |
6 |
962 |
This is so typical of your generation. |
1.2597 |
0.06511 |
77 |
62 |
10 |
5 |
963 |
This is number nine, and it was on her bucket list. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
964 |
Should we tell him we're getting a dog or let it be a surprise? |
1.2597 |
0.06768 |
77 |
63 |
8 |
6 |
965 |
You're the one that got his DNA tested. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
966 |
Dethroning really isn't humane. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
967 |
Well, Donald, getting the job and doing the job require different talents. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
968 |
I think it was a mistake naming him, 'The Donald'. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
969 |
The emperor has no claws. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
970 |
I draw the line at beheading the dog. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
971 |
Just because you have little paws doesn't make you a king. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
972 |
He’s just a puppy, sure. But he’ll be dead long before your reign comes to an end. Ya know, because of the nine lives and everything? |
1.2597 |
0.06511 |
77 |
62 |
10 |
5 |
973 |
He gets like this every time I date. |
1.2597 |
0.05669 |
77 |
59 |
16 |
2 |
974 |
All you have to do is wave. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
975 |
Newsweek called. They want to put you on the cover. |
1.2597 |
0.05669 |
77 |
59 |
16 |
2 |
976 |
You must understand it's our house ... your Highness? |
1.2597 |
0.06511 |
77 |
62 |
10 |
5 |
977 |
Heavy the butt that wears the crown. |
1.2597 |
0.06511 |
77 |
62 |
10 |
5 |
978 |
Do you think maybe we should take a break from Game of Thrones? |
1.2597 |
0.05669 |
77 |
59 |
16 |
2 |
979 |
I really thought it was what he wanted. Maybe we should get him a Superman cape. |
1.2597 |
0.05963 |
77 |
60 |
14 |
3 |
980 |
I do believe the King has no clothes |
1.2597 |
0.05669 |
77 |
59 |
16 |
2 |
981 |
I told you not to feed him. I told you not to make eye contact. |
1.2597 |
0.06243 |
77 |
61 |
12 |
4 |
982 |
Uneasy lies the cat that wears a crown |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
983 |
I think killing his own mice will be good for him. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
984 |
I told you that assertiveness class at the Humane Society was a bad idea. |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
985 |
Your Majesty, we just got a dog, his name is George Washington. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
986 |
He's been like this ever since we switched the cat food to Fancy Feast |
1.2568 |
0.05463 |
74 |
56 |
17 |
1 |
987 |
How many lives before succession goes to us? |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
988 |
What complex? |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
989 |
Who are these three blind mice you speak of. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
990 |
Yes, you're King, but you weren't actually voted in. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
991 |
Nobody said being top cat was going to be easy. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
992 |
And for just ten bucks more, the taxidermist threw in the crown. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
993 |
I'm afraid she'll turn out like a Lannister |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
994 |
But you're the king of the urban jungle. |
1.2568 |
0.05113 |
74 |
55 |
19 |
0 |
995 |
About your attitude... |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
996 |
My psycharist says I'll stop seeing him after the medications start working. |
1.2568 |
0.06954 |
74 |
61 |
7 |
6 |
997 |
Son, let me explain 9 lives to you |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
998 |
You have to wait until she extends her paw to take it. |
1.2568 |
0.05463 |
74 |
56 |
17 |
1 |
999 |
He’s been acting like this ever since he crawled off the president’s head. |
1.2568 |
0.06954 |
74 |
61 |
7 |
6 |
1000 |
Listen, you can't rule our lives, but you can sleep in the bed tonight. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1001 |
And just where did you exile the dog? |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1002 |
Roger and I would like to talk to you about the sudden spate of beheadings. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1003 |
But you're more than a figurehead to us, Pooky. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1004 |
I guess I'm just more of an egalitarian. You know, a dog person. |
1.2568 |
0.05463 |
74 |
56 |
17 |
1 |
1005 |
Maybe if you didn't bat them around with your paws they'd respect you more. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1006 |
We've decided to get a dog. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1007 |
Do you think we pamper him enough? |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1008 |
Catatonic? |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1009 |
Well, I did tell the taxidermist he ruled the house. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1010 |
He looks exhausted, but he still has to preside over the upcoming Fur Ball. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1011 |
King of the living room is just as impressive as King of the Jungle. |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1012 |
It hasn't changed him. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1013 |
I think we made some mistakes. |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1014 |
She thinks she was Cleopatra in her last life. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1015 |
So now you want four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie? |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1016 |
We can't bring that mouse back to life, but we can buy you a new one. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1017 |
Are you sure it's just a phase? |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1018 |
I gotta say, I have a pet peeve. |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1019 |
He left explicit instructions on how he'd like to be stuffed |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1020 |
But he's an out of control loser and you're hugely amazing! |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1021 |
A thousand pardons your majesty, but its time for your flea and tick treatment. |
1.2568 |
0.06954 |
74 |
61 |
7 |
6 |
1022 |
I don't care if he is one of your loyal subjects, you can't eat the goldfish. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1023 |
No, that's not how it works. The mice should not come to you. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1024 |
We're cat people, not the cat's people. |
1.2568 |
0.06954 |
74 |
61 |
7 |
6 |
1025 |
Do you really prefer regal to aloof? |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1026 |
Why does my cat allergy mean I'm the one who must be rehomed? |
1.2568 |
0.07215 |
74 |
62 |
5 |
7 |
1027 |
Curiosity killed the last king |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1028 |
Look, we get it -- your press secretary quit, you had to fire your communications director, you lost a big vote in Congress, and everyone think the dogs were behind your election -- but that's no reason to go from two scoops of kibble to three. |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1029 |
Just try being a cat. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1030 |
" There's no line of succession, he's getting fixed tomorrow". |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1031 |
Maybe we should take Her Highness to the Shelter to show her how the other cats live. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1032 |
We think you may have the wrong impression. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1033 |
Come on, it's just one mouse. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1034 |
Richard, I thought we had a deal. We bring you a horse, you give us back the house. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1035 |
Honestly that term "fat cat" was not a slur aimed at you personally. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1036 |
Maybe we shouldn't have named him "Rex." |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1037 |
Well, I suppose he's entitled enough to grab any pussy he wants. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1038 |
I'll call the vet. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1039 |
The vet says it's Stage 4 Ennuie. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1040 |
First the crown; now the man-spreading... |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1041 |
My final decree, all my catnip will be medicinal, not recreational. |
1.2568 |
0.06954 |
74 |
61 |
7 |
6 |
1042 |
We know you've been following the news, but this household is still a democracy. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1043 |
I warned him it would be lonely at the top, but he's become inconsolable. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1044 |
I know it's not much but it's all we could afford. |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1045 |
I wonder about his other eight lives. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1046 |
Maybe a cat scan would get to the bottom of your royal displeasure. |
1.2568 |
0.06954 |
74 |
61 |
7 |
6 |
1047 |
Please, Princess. It's wild, sustainable fish, not farm raised. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1048 |
Your mother was a Tabby |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1049 |
My mistake, your meowjesty. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1050 |
If I had to guess, I'd say he ate the whole tub of Imperial margarine. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1051 |
The pet store told me it was excellent catnip! |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1052 |
William and Kate said positively not. Harry's still a maybe. |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1053 |
You promised to make cats great again. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1054 |
We need to talk about the royal litter box, Your Majesty. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1055 |
maybe we should have had kids. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1056 |
Where is Mommy's smartphone? |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1057 |
His kingdom for a mouse. |
1.2568 |
0.05792 |
74 |
57 |
15 |
2 |
1058 |
I knew he shouldn't have read, "The Art of the Deal" |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1059 |
You just now realized it is all ceremonial? |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1060 |
No one told me this herding Congressional cats would be so hard. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1061 |
The vet says that it's gout. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1062 |
I promise, we said 'Kitty Leader'. |
1.2568 |
0.05463 |
74 |
56 |
17 |
1 |
1063 |
How did Donald Trump's cat get in here? |
1.2568 |
0.07215 |
74 |
62 |
5 |
7 |
1064 |
And Mr. Snugglepaws wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1065 |
The vet is pushing military school. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1066 |
Maybe we've been a bit overindulgent. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1067 |
I know there's a 'me' in 'meow', but this is getting ridiculous. |
1.2568 |
0.06682 |
74 |
60 |
9 |
5 |
1068 |
Bring me the little red dot! |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1069 |
You won't believe his litter box. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1070 |
What do you mean I am fat? My crown still fits. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1071 |
I don't know how to tell you this but we're getting a dog. |
1.2568 |
0.06103 |
74 |
58 |
13 |
3 |
1072 |
I told you a cat would be a royal pain. |
1.2568 |
0.06399 |
74 |
59 |
11 |
4 |
1073 |
OK, forget about the crown. Tell us who sold you the cape? |
1.2549 |
0.07326 |
51 |
40 |
9 |
2 |
1074 |
The taxidermist installed a 'purr' box. Go ahead, squeeze his paw. |
1.2533 |
0.06601 |
75 |
61 |
9 |
5 |
1075 |
Do you think he would be happier if he knew how to Tweet? |
1.2533 |
0.06031 |
75 |
59 |
13 |
3 |
1076 |
Come on, even the King of England had trouble with public speaking. |
1.2533 |
0.05724 |
75 |
58 |
15 |
2 |
1077 |
I think we need to talk. |
1.2533 |
0.06323 |
75 |
60 |
11 |
4 |
1078 |
His therapist said it will help his esteem issues. |
1.2533 |
0.05724 |
75 |
58 |
15 |
2 |
1079 |
You do realize that the real king of the jungle is infested with lice, sleeps outside and has to do a lot of running and jumping in order to eat? |
1.2533 |
0.05724 |
75 |
58 |
15 |
2 |
1080 |
How would you feel about our having a baby? |
1.2533 |
0.06323 |
75 |
60 |
11 |
4 |
1081 |
We told you to be careful what you wish for, Donald! |
1.2533 |
0.06323 |
75 |
60 |
11 |
4 |
1082 |
We should have never let her binge watch "The Crown." |
1.2533 |
0.06031 |
75 |
59 |
13 |
3 |
1083 |
His phycologist suggested affirmation therapy after the toilet paper incident. |
1.2533 |
0.06031 |
75 |
59 |
13 |
3 |
1084 |
Wake up. Your litter awaits |
1.2500 |
0.05506 |
72 |
55 |
16 |
1 |
1085 |
Your mother and I think it's about time you pulled more weight around here. |
1.2500 |
0.06176 |
72 |
57 |
12 |
3 |
1086 |
A house cat wasn't good enough, you had to get a House of Windsor cat. |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1087 |
I feel like she's rubbing our nose in it now. |
1.2500 |
0.06780 |
72 |
59 |
8 |
5 |
1088 |
It happened when I introduced the new kitten to him |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1089 |
We know it won't make up for the neutering, but it's the best we can do. |
1.2500 |
0.06176 |
72 |
57 |
12 |
3 |
1090 |
I know, sweetie. It's sad to realize you can't be whatever you want to be if you just try hard enough. |
1.2500 |
0.05851 |
72 |
56 |
14 |
2 |
1091 |
He was hoping to become the first pet in the Trump White House. |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1092 |
Nobody's accusing anyone yet, we're just talking about hairballs in general. |
1.2500 |
0.05851 |
72 |
56 |
14 |
2 |
1093 |
"Think about it, Tigger -- is this really what you want to with your nine lives? |
1.2500 |
0.06176 |
72 |
57 |
12 |
3 |
1094 |
We're just saying it's hard to establish a dynasty when you're neutered |
1.2500 |
0.06780 |
72 |
59 |
8 |
5 |
1095 |
Don't worry. We hold the real power as long as we have the yarn ball and the laser pointer. |
1.2500 |
0.06176 |
72 |
57 |
12 |
3 |
1096 |
Sure, he can do a mean "King Lear," but he'll always be "Fifi" to me. |
1.2500 |
0.05851 |
72 |
56 |
14 |
2 |
1097 |
You were right, neutering him years ago would have been a better. |
1.2500 |
0.05506 |
72 |
55 |
16 |
1 |
1098 |
His scepter? No, have you looked under the sofa? |
1.2500 |
0.05851 |
72 |
56 |
14 |
2 |
1099 |
He made the litter box great again. |
1.2500 |
0.05851 |
72 |
56 |
14 |
2 |
1100 |
I just think he'd feel more supported if we gave him an elected position instead. |
1.2500 |
0.06780 |
72 |
59 |
8 |
5 |
1101 |
Do you think we're overcompensating? |
1.2500 |
0.05851 |
72 |
56 |
14 |
2 |
1102 |
Stupid DNA test. |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1103 |
His father was a real estate developer. He's ever scratched or clawed for anything. |
1.2500 |
0.06780 |
72 |
59 |
8 |
5 |
1104 |
Honey, if you're not having any fun, it's O.K. with Mommy if you want to go back to being a regular cat. |
1.2500 |
0.05851 |
72 |
56 |
14 |
2 |
1105 |
The vet's seen this before, but only in small-pawed orange cats. Fortunately it doesn't last long. |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1106 |
Ever since he got his genealogy test results he's been acting like this. |
1.2500 |
0.05851 |
72 |
56 |
14 |
2 |
1107 |
I told him that four and twenty blackbird pie was too much! |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1108 |
Ever since we had him neutered, he's been depressed about his line of succession. |
1.2500 |
0.06063 |
68 |
53 |
13 |
2 |
1109 |
Puss, the boots have walked on. |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1110 |
I know she's failed to produce a male heir your majesty, but do we really need to put her down? |
1.2500 |
0.06176 |
72 |
57 |
12 |
3 |
1111 |
Maybe we should just get a dog. |
1.2500 |
0.06780 |
72 |
59 |
8 |
5 |
1112 |
Such a fascinating case of feline depression. Totally non responsive to the feather on a string? Nothing with the laser pointer either? And who could this Timon and Pumbaa be he keeps referring to? |
1.2500 |
0.06176 |
72 |
57 |
12 |
3 |
1113 |
Daddy's going to have a puppy |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1114 |
Sire, it appears the kingdom is out of catnip. |
1.2500 |
0.05506 |
72 |
55 |
16 |
1 |
1115 |
'It just doesn't FEEL like I'm ruling the world' |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1116 |
Yeah, but tomorrow she'll be the Queen of Spayeds... |
1.2500 |
0.06176 |
72 |
57 |
12 |
3 |
1117 |
The mice seem to sense that you've lost your killer instinct. |
1.2500 |
0.07063 |
72 |
60 |
6 |
6 |
1118 |
Are you thinking about your feral days? |
1.2500 |
0.05690 |
68 |
52 |
15 |
1 |
1119 |
We "took care of" the dog. What else? |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1120 |
We have GOT to stop watching Game of Thrones |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1121 |
Uneasy is the cat who wears the crown |
1.2500 |
0.05506 |
72 |
55 |
16 |
1 |
1122 |
We know you'll end up loving the new kitten.... |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1123 |
OK, no more binge watching Game of Thrones. |
1.2500 |
0.06176 |
72 |
57 |
12 |
3 |
1124 |
Maybe I shouldn't have breastfed him. |
1.2500 |
0.07066 |
68 |
56 |
7 |
5 |
1125 |
I know, I know, but otherwise he throws litter at you. |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1126 |
I don't think she's as into making cute cat videos as you are. |
1.2500 |
0.05851 |
72 |
56 |
14 |
2 |
1127 |
I ask for your mercy and hereby promise to never again leave the seat down. |
1.2500 |
0.05506 |
72 |
55 |
16 |
1 |
1128 |
How have we gone from a "cat in the cradle and a silver spoon" to this? |
1.2500 |
0.06485 |
72 |
58 |
10 |
4 |
1129 |
His coming out was no real surprise. |
1.2500 |
0.07063 |
72 |
60 |
6 |
6 |
1130 |
I think he's an indoor cat. |
1.2500 |
0.06780 |
72 |
59 |
8 |
5 |
1131 |
Begging your pardon Your Highness but, would this be a good time to discuss the mouse under the kitchen sink? |
1.2466 |
0.06101 |
73 |
58 |
12 |
3 |
1132 |
What do you mean by, 'Just let them eat mice?' |
1.2466 |
0.05780 |
73 |
57 |
14 |
2 |
1133 |
We can't exile the dog. The kids like him. |
1.2466 |
0.05780 |
73 |
57 |
14 |
2 |
1134 |
We've should've never got him that PetSmart giftcard. |
1.2466 |
0.06405 |
73 |
59 |
10 |
4 |
1135 |
It's a good thing we never had kids. |
1.2466 |
0.06101 |
73 |
58 |
12 |
3 |
1136 |
We believe that the dog may be planning a coup. |
1.2466 |
0.06101 |
73 |
58 |
12 |
3 |
1137 |
Well, as for succession, there's still the small matter of that surgery... |
1.2466 |
0.06974 |
73 |
61 |
6 |
6 |
1138 |
We just want you to know how difficult financial planning is with your nine lives |
1.2466 |
0.06101 |
73 |
58 |
12 |
3 |
1139 |
Looking back now, reading "Hey Diddle Diddle" to a cat named Nero may not have been fully thought-out. |
1.2466 |
0.05780 |
73 |
57 |
14 |
2 |
1140 |
His majesty's first edict is to legalize catnip |
1.2466 |
0.06101 |
73 |
58 |
12 |
3 |
1141 |
Four and twenty blackbirds were too many to eat all at once, King Tom. |
1.2466 |
0.05441 |
73 |
56 |
16 |
1 |
1142 |
Of course he looks worried. Nine lives...Henry VIII. You do the math. |
1.2466 |
0.06695 |
73 |
60 |
8 |
5 |
1143 |
Just like his father. |
1.2466 |
0.06405 |
73 |
59 |
10 |
4 |
1144 |
First, the dog goes |
1.2466 |
0.06101 |
73 |
58 |
12 |
3 |
1145 |
Your majesty, it's just not royal of you to poop outside of your litter box. |
1.2466 |
0.06405 |
73 |
59 |
10 |
4 |
1146 |
Dogs have masters, cats have staff. |
1.2466 |
0.06101 |
73 |
58 |
12 |
3 |
1147 |
Pride and Paunch |
1.2466 |
0.05780 |
73 |
57 |
14 |
2 |
1148 |
How long do you think it will take for them to realize he's dead? |
1.2466 |
0.06405 |
73 |
59 |
10 |
4 |
1149 |
You know, you're not the only pussy with leadership problems right now. |
1.2466 |
0.06101 |
73 |
58 |
12 |
3 |
1150 |
Just how am I spoiling Rex? |
1.2466 |
0.06405 |
73 |
59 |
10 |
4 |
1151 |
The emperor is wearing no clothes. |
1.2466 |
0.06405 |
73 |
59 |
10 |
4 |
1152 |
I knew letting him on the bed that first time was a mistake. |
1.2466 |
0.06101 |
73 |
58 |
12 |
3 |
1153 |
Your Highness, the dog humbly requests a lower number on his shock collar. |
1.2432 |
0.06327 |
74 |
60 |
10 |
4 |
1154 |
I told Princess Fluffy we were getting a puppy. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1155 |
Governing is much harder than he thought it'd be. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1156 |
We need to talk about where your majesty pees |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1157 |
He says this place is a dump, but he's not even trying to hit the litter box. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1158 |
Your majesty, we are all out of milk... |
1.2429 |
0.05549 |
70 |
54 |
15 |
1 |
1159 |
Naming her Cersei might have been a mistake. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1160 |
Un-neuter me, then maybe we'll talk. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1161 |
It's supposed to boost his self-esteem. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1162 |
Any second now. He will tell us what to do. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1163 |
He must be sitting on the remote |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1164 |
How come every time you do catnip you become such a drama queen? |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1165 |
His ancestry kit said he was part Siamese... |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1166 |
The vet says megalomania isn't rare in cats. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1167 |
Initially we imagined the royal litter box as a harmless incentive. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1168 |
What, you think your kitty litter don't stink? |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1169 |
He's in over his whiskers... |
1.2429 |
0.05549 |
70 |
54 |
15 |
1 |
1170 |
The vet recommends Prozac for his depression but says there isn't a lot we can do about his grandiosity. |
1.2429 |
0.06881 |
70 |
58 |
7 |
5 |
1171 |
He's still mad that he lost the popular vote. |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1172 |
He made the hamster dress up as a court jester before eating him. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1173 |
Her mewjesty has been this way since the DNA results came back feral. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1174 |
'No, you can't fire us' |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1175 |
No. I don't care if You Tube thinks you're hilarious. I'm not wearing this thing. |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1176 |
I don't care what they did in Egypt, I'm done being his servant. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1177 |
Honestly Geoffrey, you never approve of any of my friends. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1178 |
Should we bring him in for fleas and God complex? |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1179 |
I told you not to name her Princess! |
1.2429 |
0.05549 |
70 |
54 |
15 |
1 |
1180 |
Okay, maybe we have been spoiling him. |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1181 |
I don't think the meal was fit for a king. |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1182 |
Don't complain! We warned you of the responsibilities. |
1.2429 |
0.06881 |
70 |
58 |
7 |
5 |
1183 |
I know you picked up a taxidermy hobby but you didn't have to kill my cat. |
1.2429 |
0.06881 |
70 |
58 |
7 |
5 |
1184 |
Well, it was your idea to name him Balthus. |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1185 |
The red dot eludes me. I am a failure. Bring me hemlock, my lady. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1186 |
I think we should put him on Prozcat. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1187 |
They were out of emperor penguins |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1188 |
He says we have to start using the litter box. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1189 |
Shouting, "Off with their heads!" will not solve our mice problem. |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1190 |
No, Whiskers, you are not the king of France. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1191 |
We didn't realize at the time how important heirs were going to be. |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1192 |
Maybe we should give him back his phone. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1193 |
Henry's on his Eighth life. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1194 |
So I guess the 'king of the jungle' thing didn't work out? |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1195 |
I think he's been watching too much Game of Thrones |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
1196 |
All we're asking is that you acknowledge that "cat privilege" is a thing. |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1197 |
We named you "Simba" ironically. You're not even a lion. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1198 |
You should see his litter box. |
1.2429 |
0.07176 |
70 |
59 |
5 |
6 |
1199 |
Yes, very regal but is he house trained? |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1200 |
We have a royal problem here. |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
1201 |
We're not literally knocking you off your throne. We're just going to exert a little more authority so you don't make all the rules around here. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1202 |
I think he's drunk with power. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1203 |
Maybe a non-orange cat wouldn't have these delusions of grandeur. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
1204 |
Would it have been better not to let him watch all those reruns of "The Apprentice." |
1.2407 |
0.07447 |
54 |
44 |
7 |
3 |
1205 |
Promise me you won't binge watch Game of Thrones with him ever again. |
1.2400 |
0.06532 |
75 |
62 |
8 |
5 |
1206 |
Your Majesty, consider your legacy. Kill the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built! |
1.2400 |
0.05644 |
75 |
59 |
14 |
2 |
1207 |
Sorry, but we're not putting turrets on the litter box. |
1.2394 |
0.05481 |
71 |
55 |
15 |
1 |
1208 |
They're calling it "entitlement malaise". |
1.2394 |
0.06489 |
71 |
58 |
9 |
4 |
1209 |
It was your idea to take him to "The Lion King"! |
1.2394 |
0.05836 |
71 |
56 |
13 |
2 |
1210 |
He's been beheading local rodents he feels are a threat. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1211 |
I warned you at the shelter the orange male would be trouble. |
1.2394 |
0.06489 |
71 |
58 |
9 |
4 |
1212 |
This happens every time the dog goes to the groomers. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1213 |
We think it's time you had one of your staff clean the litter box. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1214 |
I meant throne as a euphemism for litter box |
1.2394 |
0.06792 |
71 |
59 |
7 |
5 |
1215 |
We need to talk about our plans for your royal 'family jewels.' |
1.2394 |
0.06792 |
71 |
59 |
7 |
5 |
1216 |
The system is rigged to benefit the fat cats. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1217 |
Let him have his birthday moment; he goes to the vet tomorrow. |
1.2394 |
0.05836 |
71 |
56 |
13 |
2 |
1218 |
We should never have named him Donald. |
1.2394 |
0.06489 |
71 |
58 |
9 |
4 |
1219 |
I didn't dress him like that. Did you? |
1.2394 |
0.06489 |
71 |
58 |
9 |
4 |
1220 |
Let's have no more talk of abdication. It's just a very small puppy. |
1.2394 |
0.06489 |
71 |
58 |
9 |
4 |
1221 |
Heavy meows the head that wears the crown! |
1.2394 |
0.05101 |
71 |
54 |
17 |
0 |
1222 |
Head of the House of Whisker |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1223 |
OK, your meow-jesty. |
1.2394 |
0.05836 |
71 |
56 |
13 |
2 |
1224 |
We exist only to serve you, but the dog is disputing your claim to the throne. |
1.2394 |
0.05836 |
71 |
56 |
13 |
2 |
1225 |
Are you sure the DNA test was accurate? I find it hard to believe that our cat is related to Louis XIV of France. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1226 |
And to think we found him in an alley! |
1.2394 |
0.07082 |
71 |
60 |
5 |
6 |
1227 |
...oh, and he wants the parrot drawn and quartered. |
1.2394 |
0.05481 |
71 |
55 |
15 |
1 |
1228 |
We should get him some shorts. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1229 |
Sorry, but you really can't fire the dog. |
1.2394 |
0.05481 |
71 |
55 |
15 |
1 |
1230 |
But he's sorry. Really, really sorry. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1231 |
Our relationship was never the same after grandma left her money to Mittens. |
1.2394 |
0.05836 |
71 |
56 |
13 |
2 |
1232 |
There is no easy way to tell you this, so here goes: we're having a baby. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1233 |
Won't somebody rid me of these meddlesome owners? |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1234 |
This is why we advised against catnip brownies at the coronation after-party. |
1.2394 |
0.05836 |
71 |
56 |
13 |
2 |
1235 |
No, I don't think we spoil her. |
1.2394 |
0.05836 |
71 |
56 |
13 |
2 |
1236 |
It's top-cat ennui. |
1.2394 |
0.05481 |
71 |
55 |
15 |
1 |
1237 |
The mice are calling for your head. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1238 |
We didn't realize you were lactose-intolerant. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1239 |
Listen, we accept that cats can be difficult, but we are absolutely not bowing... |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1240 |
I told you we shouldn't have let him watch "Game of Thrones". |
1.2394 |
0.06489 |
71 |
58 |
9 |
4 |
1241 |
I'm sorry but "the Iron Throne, kitty version" was sold out. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1242 |
The Lion King really created a lot of expectations. |
1.2394 |
0.05481 |
71 |
55 |
15 |
1 |
1243 |
"Do you notice something different about him since we switched to Trump kibble? |
1.2394 |
0.06489 |
71 |
58 |
9 |
4 |
1244 |
We've called this house meeting to discuss your inability to respect your fellow housemates. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1245 |
No, even with the robe you'll shed, so you can't sit on the furniture. |
1.2394 |
0.06172 |
71 |
57 |
11 |
3 |
1246 |
Well, since you're a cat, chances of voter fraud are low. |
1.2394 |
0.05481 |
71 |
55 |
15 |
1 |
1247 |
Are we done watching "King of Thrones?" |
1.2394 |
0.05836 |
71 |
56 |
13 |
2 |
1248 |
We humbly ask your forgiveness for presenting dry food to you |
1.2388 |
0.06049 |
67 |
53 |
12 |
2 |
1249 |
Just tell us what to do. |
1.2388 |
0.06755 |
67 |
55 |
8 |
4 |
1250 |
We've let this happen. |
1.2388 |
0.06049 |
67 |
53 |
12 |
2 |
1251 |
Now is the summer of his content. |
1.2388 |
0.06412 |
67 |
54 |
10 |
3 |
1252 |
You still need to go to the vet just like everyone else. |
1.2361 |
0.06407 |
72 |
59 |
9 |
4 |
1253 |
That's the last time you get any catnip. |
1.2361 |
0.06407 |
72 |
59 |
9 |
4 |
1254 |
So this is what you meant by "Must worship cats." |
1.2361 |
0.05764 |
72 |
57 |
13 |
2 |
1255 |
Game of Thrones has gone to her head. |
1.2361 |
0.05764 |
72 |
57 |
13 |
2 |
1256 |
Off with his nuts |
1.2361 |
0.06407 |
72 |
59 |
9 |
4 |
1257 |
Hmmm....let them eat catnip |
1.2361 |
0.06094 |
72 |
58 |
11 |
3 |
1258 |
It seems in ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; Prima Donald here has not forgotten this. |
1.2361 |
0.06094 |
72 |
58 |
11 |
3 |
1259 |
He still doesn't look happy. |
1.2361 |
0.05764 |
72 |
57 |
13 |
2 |
1260 |
Oh no, the cat's been watching CNN again. |
1.2361 |
0.05764 |
72 |
57 |
13 |
2 |
1261 |
He says he's a dog in a cat's body. |
1.2361 |
0.06094 |
72 |
58 |
11 |
3 |
1262 |
Well somebody has to tell him we are getting a dog |
1.2361 |
0.06407 |
72 |
59 |
9 |
4 |
1263 |
We'll have to buy another canary before Molly gets home from school. |
1.2361 |
0.06094 |
72 |
58 |
11 |
3 |
1264 |
Look, we know the catnip is yours. |
1.2361 |
0.05764 |
72 |
57 |
13 |
2 |
1265 |
Maybe we shouldn't have named him Henry. |
1.2361 |
0.06094 |
72 |
58 |
11 |
3 |
1266 |
She married Prince William. They've got kids. It's time to move on. |
1.2361 |
0.06706 |
72 |
60 |
7 |
5 |
1267 |
I think he knows I'm pregnant. |
1.2361 |
0.06094 |
72 |
58 |
11 |
3 |
1268 |
I think he's finally realized that he can't produce an heir. |
1.2361 |
0.06407 |
72 |
59 |
9 |
4 |
1269 |
We think it's time that you looked for a job... |
1.2361 |
0.06407 |
72 |
59 |
9 |
4 |
1270 |
It's done nothing for his posture. |
1.2361 |
0.06094 |
72 |
58 |
11 |
3 |
1271 |
I'm worried. He hasn't issued a decree since we had him neutered. |
1.2361 |
0.05040 |
72 |
55 |
17 |
0 |
1272 |
We can change your name, Kitty, but "Pussy King" is a "no." |
1.2361 |
0.06706 |
72 |
60 |
7 |
5 |
1273 |
I know you felt bad when you yelled at him earlier but this is a little much. |
1.2361 |
0.05414 |
72 |
56 |
15 |
1 |
1274 |
Do you think he's depressed? |
1.2361 |
0.06094 |
72 |
58 |
11 |
3 |
1275 |
You wouldn't believe what I had to do to the litterbox. |
1.2361 |
0.05764 |
72 |
57 |
13 |
2 |
1276 |
He's lost interest in everything now that he's got us trained. |
1.2361 |
0.05414 |
72 |
56 |
15 |
1 |
1277 |
He thinks his kitty litter don't stink |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1278 |
We're sorry, we didn't know the new kitten would stage a coup. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1279 |
We regret, Your Highness, that we have not been able to find the four and twenty blackbirds for your dinner pie. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1280 |
I would prefer the King Charles Spaniel. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1281 |
I can't believe we've been let go. |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1282 |
You weren't supposed to eat the blackbirds. |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1283 |
Really, your kingdom for a mouse? |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1284 |
Sorry, Smokey, but cats do NOT have nine wives. |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1285 |
Fetch me my litter box. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1286 |
Well this explains the mouse-sized guillotine. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1287 |
Off the furniture, guys. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1288 |
Yes He's happy but I think he's worried the mice may released the transcripts about his meeting with the Tigers. |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1289 |
Times have changed. They no longer own us. They just rule us. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1290 |
Pardon us, your Majesty, but you're no longer able to produce an heir. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1291 |
I casually told the taxidermist he was our little prince. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1292 |
I think we need to cut back on his catnip. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1293 |
Our therapist said we shouldn't have a cat-centered marriage. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1294 |
You're not alone in preferring 'The Lion King' over 'Cats.' |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1295 |
at least he doesn't think he's God. |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1296 |
Your mother was right. All those early years of us fawning over him would eventually lead to this pathetic state of entitlement |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1297 |
You still can't go outside. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1298 |
We are just trying to make you feel good about yourself. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1299 |
I told you this might happen if we named him Trump. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1300 |
Well, the shelter did describe him as "majestic." |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1301 |
He's everything we hoped he'd be. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1302 |
What possible difference could one little baby make? |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1303 |
I didn't realize that he was paying so much attention when we watch 'Game Of Thrones.' |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1304 |
I guess checking the pet-included option on Airbnb wasn't such a good idea. |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1305 |
How did you think the dogs would react when you said, 'Let them drink toilet water'? |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1306 |
We know it's a lot to ask, but if you could just see your way clear to allow us to sleep in one morning? |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1307 |
The Royal Pet Spa has given him delusions of grandeur. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1308 |
It began to go wrong when we started buying the organic mice. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1309 |
I should have known better than to let him binge watch reruns of "Game of Thrones." |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1310 |
I think the Fancy Feast has gone to his head. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1311 |
Thing is, Bob doesn't like to be called "The Gentleman Scooper of the Poop Chamber |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1312 |
That's what we get for naming him "King." |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1313 |
... and as my first order as king you will clean my litter box hourly, not weekly as you foul peasants have treated me |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1314 |
He will let us stay here if we pay the rent. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1315 |
My family has always named our cats "Louis." This is Louis XIV. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1316 |
NOW will you stop peeing outside the box? |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1317 |
At least she's past the Egyptian goddess phase. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1318 |
Sorry, Puss, the jesters all work in the White House now. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1319 |
He insists we call his food dishes Camilla Parker Bowls. |
1.2353 |
0.07293 |
68 |
58 |
4 |
6 |
1320 |
Bob agrees. We would like you to shit in the little box. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1321 |
I'm worried the attention's going to his head. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1322 |
Everything he touches turns to tuna. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1323 |
She has been like this since November. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1324 |
I think the Fancy Feast has gone to his head. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1325 |
Cheer up! We said de-claw, not de-throne. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1326 |
I guess we could just give her whatever she wants like other cat owners do. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1327 |
I suppose we were foolish to hope he'd become more kingly. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1328 |
Do you think it's gout? |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1329 |
We might have been wrong to deny him an heir. |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1330 |
What? Buy the boots too? |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1331 |
We were wondering if it would be alright if we went out tonight? |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1332 |
Heavy lies the cat. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1333 |
He only wears the crown after he drinks too much. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1334 |
Your mother was right. We should have adopted a dog. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1335 |
If he accepts you as one of his subjects, we can set a wedding date. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1336 |
I've always heard cats rule humans but I think he's taking it too far. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1337 |
We shouldn't have named him Princess. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1338 |
How do you think we'll ever tell him that he basically has no clothes? |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1339 |
This morning he tweeted this place is a dump |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1340 |
She's been listless ever since the Brexit vote. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1341 |
He isn't the same since that mouse told him he was naked. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1342 |
Give her credit, she did win the popular vote. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1343 |
Well, he's eaten all of his loyal subjects, so what's next? |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1344 |
We see your point but executing Patches is a bit harsh. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1345 |
Mittens, it's time we talk about your Game of Thrones habit. |
1.2353 |
0.05182 |
68 |
52 |
16 |
0 |
1346 |
I knew we should have gone with the popular vote. |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1347 |
I told you we shouldn't name him Donald. |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1348 |
For your own good, we've decided there will be no more binge-watching of The Lion King. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1349 |
I told you the Fancy Feast was a bad idea. |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1350 |
The dog is requesting a visa extension. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1351 |
Of course you're depressed. But we're here to help put that Owl incident behind you. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1352 |
Remember when HE would bring mice to US? |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1353 |
He's become so full of himself since his video went viral |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1354 |
We feel you're becoming a royal pain... |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1355 |
I blame the curiosity. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1356 |
But we can't afford caviar more than twice a week. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1357 |
Weren't you scheduled to be meeting with the delegation of small, woodland creatures? |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1358 |
He beheaded a mouse yesterday. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1359 |
And that is how I became King of the U.S. |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1360 |
You're going to have to accept the fact that your realm extends only to your litter box. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1361 |
Regal Cat Litter said they want to go in a different direction. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1362 |
But really--who rescued who? |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1363 |
The breeder said it was a Persian-Targaryen mix. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1364 |
He's been like that ever since Trump grabbed him. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1365 |
This was more amusing when he was just a candidate for adoption |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1366 |
Who voted for this cat?! |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1367 |
The taxidermist really captured his essence, wouldn't you say? |
1.2353 |
0.07293 |
68 |
58 |
4 |
6 |
1368 |
Honey, we shouldn't have kids. |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1369 |
Being dumped before prom isn't the worst thing in the world. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1370 |
No, you cannot behead the dog! |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1371 |
Domestication has taken its toll. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1372 |
We feel, Mr. Miffles, that, as the family pet, you are entitled to our best truth; so Bruce and I felt compelled to let you know, that, fond as we are of you, and in spite of our very real affections, you're just not all that. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1373 |
I've talked with Mildred Peirce. Her cat Max had a problem with catnip abuse. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1374 |
He's been like this ever since seeing the Lion King. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1375 |
I told you not to give him canned food. |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1376 |
We respectfully remind you that your authority is not plenary. Every effort will be made to keep Buddy out of your bowl and the Bashful Box. There can be no execution. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1377 |
Look, Harry, it's 'The cat's in the cradle AND the silver spoon,' and it isn't meant to be taken literally... |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1378 |
The Emperor has no clothes! |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1379 |
We should have never named the cat Trump. |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1380 |
Is it true you told the pet psychic that we 'bore' you? |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1381 |
It's the tweeting that concerns us most. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1382 |
I think we over did it on the Fancy Feast... |
1.2353 |
0.06986 |
68 |
57 |
6 |
5 |
1383 |
Can you put the throne and crown away? We have friends coming over in 30 minutes and don't want them to know who really rules this home. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1384 |
And to think he traded away a good horse. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1385 |
He's acted like this ever since his video went viral. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1386 |
We should have never let him watch The Lion King. |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1387 |
What do you mean, you feel neglected? |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1388 |
This is the 5th day he has refused Tuna. Please give him his phone again. |
1.2353 |
0.06327 |
68 |
55 |
10 |
3 |
1389 |
On the bright side: he is castle-trained. |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1390 |
He says he won't wear the boots until he gets his own closet |
1.2353 |
0.05970 |
68 |
54 |
12 |
2 |
1391 |
So "pick up the royal litter" isn't a "chair" reference? |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1392 |
Would you mind if we took a vacation? |
1.2353 |
0.06664 |
68 |
56 |
8 |
4 |
1393 |
Had we known, we never would have neutered you. |
1.2353 |
0.05590 |
68 |
53 |
14 |
1 |
1394 |
Do you want to tell him or should I? |
1.2329 |
0.06019 |
73 |
59 |
11 |
3 |
1395 |
Sorry, but catching a mouse will only get you so far. |
1.2329 |
0.06019 |
73 |
59 |
11 |
3 |
1396 |
I am actually more concerned about the way he's been ordering the mice to amuse him. |
1.2329 |
0.05349 |
73 |
57 |
15 |
1 |
1397 |
We had to call off the hunt. Mice are now an endangered species. |
1.2319 |
0.06892 |
69 |
58 |
6 |
5 |
1398 |
It's the ennui. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1399 |
He couldn't care less about the mice. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1400 |
Maybe a seventeen-day vacation would help. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1401 |
Not what you expected? |
1.2308 |
0.05705 |
65 |
51 |
13 |
1 |
1402 |
C'mon. You can tell us where the mice are hiding. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1403 |
He's been watching National Geographic's special on lions again. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1404 |
We promise: Nothing but locally sourced, organic treats from now on. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1405 |
Wouldn't a pair of boots be nice , too? |
1.2308 |
0.05705 |
65 |
51 |
13 |
1 |
1406 |
He's establishing a hierarchy I'm not comfortable with. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1407 |
It's good to be cat! |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1408 |
Tell us what happened to Kitty Boleyn. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1409 |
Apologies, Sire, but commoners are forbidden to lick your fur for you. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1410 |
. . . or we could just let him be a cat. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1411 |
In hindsight, maybe we shouldn't have named him Donald. |
1.2308 |
0.05267 |
65 |
50 |
15 |
0 |
1412 |
He thinks he's Donald Trump |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1413 |
Big deal,she got a mouse. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1414 |
The vet says it's Advanced Feline Affluenza. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1415 |
He's a rescue from a coup de chat. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1416 |
I just don't think we should have to pay an exterminator to get rid of the mice. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1417 |
Don't worry, your highness, the new kitten will only be a duke. |
1.2308 |
0.05267 |
65 |
50 |
15 |
0 |
1418 |
They've taken away his tweeter. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1419 |
But if we let you outside and something bad does happen, what do we tell your 35k followers on Instagram? |
1.2308 |
0.05705 |
65 |
51 |
13 |
1 |
1420 |
I guess this get-up's not making up for getting him fixed. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1421 |
Coronation ball... dancing till the wee hours. We told you boots were the wrong choice. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1422 |
King is as high as it goes. |
1.2308 |
0.05267 |
65 |
50 |
15 |
0 |
1423 |
We have decided that a goldfish would be more in line with our progressive values. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1424 |
I was hoping for a mouser. |
1.2308 |
0.07195 |
65 |
55 |
5 |
5 |
1425 |
Dry cat food is not treason. |
1.2308 |
0.05267 |
65 |
50 |
15 |
0 |
1426 |
But is he fulfilled? |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1427 |
So much for switching from dry food to tuna. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1428 |
Is it the ennui? |
1.2308 |
0.05267 |
65 |
50 |
15 |
0 |
1429 |
But lots of families have a cat and a dog. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1430 |
I wish we were dog people |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1431 |
The superhero outfit would be more slimming. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1432 |
We just found out he's descended from Charlemagne's cat. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1433 |
He staunchly refuses to abdicate. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1434 |
I told you not to name him Trump |
1.2308 |
0.07195 |
65 |
55 |
5 |
5 |
1435 |
But he didn't win the popular vote. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1436 |
I worry he has lost touch with the people. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1437 |
He learned this from you, George! |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1438 |
We're here to negotiate terms for Fido to return to the house. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1439 |
Maybe we should get him a jester. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1440 |
The taxidermist really ran with the "regal" thing, eh? |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1441 |
I think the trust fund Mom left him is getting to his head! |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1442 |
I guess all that's missing are the boots... |
1.2308 |
0.05705 |
65 |
51 |
13 |
1 |
1443 |
We won't think any less of you if you want to abdicate. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1444 |
Shall we tell him about the baby |
1.2308 |
0.05705 |
65 |
51 |
13 |
1 |
1445 |
I told you we shouldn't let her watch 'Game of Thrones'.... |
1.2308 |
0.05705 |
65 |
51 |
13 |
1 |
1446 |
He's been this way since he went paleo. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1447 |
Where did we go wrong? |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1448 |
Hairy is the head that wears the crown. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1449 |
Your DNA indicates you're thirty-seven percent sloth. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1450 |
You can have your iPhone back after you clean out your litter box. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1451 |
Ask yourself...what would Cersei do? |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1452 |
It only confirms what we already knew! |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1453 |
The diagnosis is royal ennui. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1454 |
Most cats just THINK they rule the house! |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1455 |
It's not Camelot if you're the only one playing. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1456 |
Pretending to be King is tiring. I do not know how Donald does it. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1457 |
He's been taking that catnip from Amsterdam again. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1458 |
We should never have switched to Fancy Feast. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1459 |
It's an abdication or divorce. You pick. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1460 |
We could have a mouse beheading. |
1.2308 |
0.05705 |
65 |
51 |
13 |
1 |
1461 |
Morning tweet from the king: For the protection of cats we will erect a tremendous dog-proof wall on all of our borders and the dogs will pay for it. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1462 |
It's your turn to clean out the chamber pot. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1463 |
How about we drop the 2% and go to whole milk? |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1464 |
It’s not funny—she’ll be mortified when the catnip wears off. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1465 |
He was fixed to prevent any heirs to the crown. |
1.2308 |
0.07195 |
65 |
55 |
5 |
5 |
1466 |
He just proclaimed it's time to clean the litter box. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1467 |
The best thing about a live-in monarch is you don't take the one in Washington so seriously. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1468 |
It's always been lonely at the top. |
1.2308 |
0.05705 |
65 |
51 |
13 |
1 |
1469 |
Daddy, I thought I was your little princess! |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1470 |
Le Meeow, c'est moi. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1471 |
It was a mistake to name him Donald... |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1472 |
I think it's time we stop feeding him the fancy feast... |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1473 |
I hate to say I told you so, but 'Rex' is a dog's name. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1474 |
Shame of thrones. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1475 |
Maybe if we get him a smaller crown, he could at least sit up straight. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1476 |
Not the royal pussy treatment I had in mind. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1477 |
Heirs or no heirs, tomorrow you get spayed. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1478 |
King size bed? |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1479 |
Your Fancy Feast days are done — back to Friskies. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1480 |
didn't even make it a week in the White House; the President tweeted that he was too territorial |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1481 |
Catnip is a hell of a drug. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1482 |
All those "views" of his YouTube videos have gone to his head. |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1483 |
I knew we shouldn’t have let him read Animal Farm. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1484 |
But, we simply just can't banish all dogs |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1485 |
At least we don't have to pay for his education |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1486 |
We both thought family intervention was needed and have made an appointment for you with Dr. Seuss. |
1.2308 |
0.05705 |
65 |
51 |
13 |
1 |
1487 |
But you ate all of the mice. How about some well done steak with ketchup? |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1488 |
Well, if Majesty forbids us to watch Mommy and Daddy's program, then Majesty will just have to go to bed without Majesty's 'Tender Nibbles.' Right, Paul? He'll just have to go to bed without his 'Tender Nibbles.' |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1489 |
I'm sorry, I don't know any more dog jokes. |
1.2308 |
0.06493 |
65 |
53 |
9 |
3 |
1490 |
But the polls were fake news! |
1.2308 |
0.06112 |
65 |
52 |
11 |
2 |
1491 |
She wants to change her name to Cersei. |
1.2308 |
0.06853 |
65 |
54 |
7 |
4 |
1492 |
If it please my liege, this is my new boyfriend, Dan. |
1.2273 |
0.05629 |
66 |
52 |
13 |
1 |
1493 |
He wishes he were King of Siam. |
1.2273 |
0.06403 |
66 |
54 |
9 |
3 |
1494 |
The numbers are in - your approval rating with the mice has plummeted since you ate one. |
1.2273 |
0.06403 |
66 |
54 |
9 |
3 |
1495 |
Are we sure we didn't spoil him? |
1.2273 |
0.06028 |
66 |
53 |
11 |
2 |
1496 |
I told him he had 'nine lives'. He heard 'six wives'. |
1.2273 |
0.06028 |
66 |
53 |
11 |
2 |
1497 |
Quick, grab my pussy! |
1.2273 |
0.07094 |
66 |
56 |
5 |
5 |
1498 |
We're sorry, but the Humane Society doesn't check for claims to the throne before their procedures. |
1.2273 |
0.05629 |
66 |
52 |
13 |
1 |
1499 |
He blames us for not preparing him to be an outside cat. |
1.2273 |
0.06028 |
66 |
53 |
11 |
2 |
1500 |
Yes, you rule the world. No, you can't be "unfixed". |
1.2273 |
0.07873 |
44 |
36 |
6 |
2 |
1501 |
Unfortunately, you've become so lethargic that even the mice are concerned. |
1.2254 |
0.06713 |
71 |
60 |
6 |
5 |
1502 |
Do you think if we changed the cat food it would make a difference? |
1.2239 |
0.06665 |
67 |
56 |
7 |
4 |
1503 |
It's your own fault -- YOU named him "Trump." |
1.2239 |
0.06665 |
67 |
56 |
7 |
4 |
1504 |
That had better be faux fur! |
1.2239 |
0.05947 |
67 |
54 |
11 |
2 |
1505 |
He wants to play the lead in King Richard III. |
1.2239 |
0.06316 |
67 |
55 |
9 |
3 |
1506 |
Can I get you anything else? A mouse, a bird, a lizard? |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1507 |
We have gold plated the litter box, sire. Have you any further commands? |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1508 |
When we get him declawed, maybe we can get him dethroned as well? |
1.2222 |
0.07313 |
63 |
54 |
4 |
5 |
1509 |
I thought it would make our living room great again. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1510 |
OhTrumpcat, I'm sure things will get better. |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1511 |
Are you sure this is what she meant by cat sitting? |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1512 |
Henry started acting a little peculiar when he'd used up 8 of his lives |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1513 |
I told you Rex was a bad name for a cat. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1514 |
Your taxidermy skills are impressive, but I'm taking my cat and leaving. Don't call me for a second date. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1515 |
Why don't you just play with string? |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1516 |
I don't think he took the idea of getting a dog very well. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1517 |
You just had to name her Queen. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1518 |
Suppose we said "please." |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1519 |
Another tax on the dog? |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1520 |
We no longer have room in our lives for your ego. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1521 |
Concentrate--the audition is tomorrow. It's 'Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown', not 'Purr, purr, purr' |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1522 |
We changed it to Caturday, what else can we do? |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1523 |
If I...were the king...of the foooootreeeeeeeest! |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1524 |
Henry the Ninth |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1525 |
We promise not to watch Game of Thrones without you ever again. |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1526 |
Honey, we'd like to talk about your attitude. |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1527 |
We'll appeal to his Instagram fan base to kick it off right after the indictment.. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1528 |
But you won the popular vote in this house. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1529 |
Think we should cut back on the foie gras? |
1.2222 |
0.05280 |
63 |
49 |
14 |
0 |
1530 |
He's been like this since the dog died. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1531 |
We're getting a dog. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1532 |
We are telling you for the last time, Game of Thrones is not real and I will not kill the neighbour's cat because you said so. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1533 |
We're thinking of switching you back to kibble. |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1534 |
Sorry. There just aren't any sequels to Cat in the Hat. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1535 |
How did your audition for Game of Thrones go? |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1536 |
No, we can't let you kill all the dogs in the neighborhood |
1.2222 |
0.06915 |
72 |
62 |
4 |
6 |
1537 |
maybe we should have had kids. |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1538 |
The new kitten, like us, will just be part of your Court; nothing else, we promise. |
1.2222 |
0.05280 |
63 |
49 |
14 |
0 |
1539 |
I knew we should have gotten a dog. |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1540 |
He who has never learned to obey can ever be a good leader. |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1541 |
"So how long is your palace being renovated for? |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1542 |
The YouTube royalties have really gone to his head |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1543 |
We're sorry. The laser battery is dead. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1544 |
If it please your highness, we would like to retire for the night. |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1545 |
What's up Pussycat? |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1546 |
I don't know why he won't answer to Tom. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1547 |
He's been like that since fat cats took over the White House. |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1548 |
Well, then describe how you think a more genuine apology really should sound. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1549 |
Would a little mouse pate' make you feel better? |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1550 |
You need to find a job. |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1551 |
We're a democracy no more. |
1.2222 |
0.05280 |
63 |
49 |
14 |
0 |
1552 |
You suppose we could use him in an Fancy Feast commercial? |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1553 |
Well, it still SMELLS like a litter box |
1.2222 |
0.07313 |
63 |
54 |
4 |
5 |
1554 |
I know you've been an only child for years, but we want you to love the new puppy too! |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1555 |
Your appointment with the Vet should eliminate any false Paternity claims |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1556 |
Whose turn is it to humor me next, people? |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1557 |
It's over. We're getting a dog. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1558 |
I think it was a mistake to feed him 'Pedigree' all these years. |
1.2222 |
0.07313 |
63 |
54 |
4 |
5 |
1559 |
And to think he's still on his first life... |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1560 |
At least she doesn't tweet |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1561 |
And, we've put the children up for adoption. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1562 |
Just to be clear – We bow both before and after we feed you? |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1563 |
He is not amused. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1564 |
You are still the king of our jungle. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1565 |
I'm feline mighty fine. |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1566 |
Yours really is a royal pain in the ass. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1567 |
It's supposed to be "raining" not "reigning". |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1568 |
Mum and Dad still love you very much. |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1569 |
I warned you he'd become a royal pain. |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1570 |
We need to call Dr. Phil. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1571 |
We'll give you back your Twitter when you stop behaving like a cat. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1572 |
No more watching "Game of Thrones" for you. |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1573 |
Your Majesty, your subjects are demanding a reduction in royal hairballs. |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1574 |
The vet says he has delusions of being Donald Trump. |
1.2222 |
0.05744 |
63 |
50 |
12 |
1 |
1575 |
We've been over this before. You can't smoke your pipe in here, and we can't afford to keep the fiddlers three. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
1576 |
A gecko beheading has taken place on the porch. Is there anything you would like to tell us? |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1577 |
And the dog's name is Rex. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
1578 |
The mice have revolted and demanded his abdication |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
1579 |
He has been this way every since he licked the Imperial margarine. |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1580 |
The Donald called, he wants his crown back. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1581 |
I dare you to scratch the royal belly. |
1.2188 |
0.05665 |
64 |
51 |
12 |
1 |
1582 |
We should lay off the Fancy Feast for a while. |
1.2188 |
0.05665 |
64 |
51 |
12 |
1 |
1583 |
I knew he was going to London to visit the Queen, but I didn't expect this. |
1.2188 |
0.05665 |
64 |
51 |
12 |
1 |
1584 |
Apparently the Lobster Au Gratin had overtones of mouse. |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1585 |
We were thinking you might like a dog to hiss at. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1586 |
His Highness appears to be catatonic. |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1587 |
Should we return him to Mar-a-Lago. |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1588 |
Maybe we're actually dog people. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1589 |
When they came up with the bit about "nine lives," they didn't factor in the six wives. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1590 |
In the end it will be his mewbris that brings him down. |
1.2188 |
0.06853 |
64 |
54 |
6 |
4 |
1591 |
When did it start being all about him? |
1.2188 |
0.05665 |
64 |
51 |
12 |
1 |
1592 |
You're the one who asked the Genie to give us something better than the government we have today. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1593 |
Yes, you have nine lives, but you were not a king in your past life. That's not how it works, Tommy. |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1594 |
Do you think we spoil him? |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1595 |
I don't think "here kitty, kitty" is goin' to work. |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1596 |
I told you we should have gotten a dog. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1597 |
Yes, you killed your father and slept with your mother, but it's our fault for naming you Rex. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1598 |
Apparently he was next in feline of succession. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1599 |
What did I say about feeding him Fancy Feast? |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1600 |
Please, we've done everything you asked, now where's Fido? |
1.2188 |
0.05665 |
64 |
51 |
12 |
1 |
1601 |
Please let us go outside...we promise not to jay walk...or get into any fights. |
1.2188 |
0.06853 |
64 |
54 |
6 |
4 |
1602 |
He's an indoor cat. |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1603 |
Let's not pussy-foot around anymore. It's time for a coup! |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1604 |
Would a Fabergé scepter cheer you up? |
1.2188 |
0.06853 |
64 |
54 |
6 |
4 |
1605 |
Maybe we should have gone with a rescue, instead of a purebred. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1606 |
About your royal licking... |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1607 |
Oh no. Our fat cat is tired of winning too. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1608 |
invading the johnsons is fraught with danger, your majesty. They have dogs. |
1.2188 |
0.05665 |
64 |
51 |
12 |
1 |
1609 |
Yes, we got a kitten, but think of it as succession planning. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1610 |
He claims he has a divine right for his favourite spot. |
1.2188 |
0.05665 |
64 |
51 |
12 |
1 |
1611 |
2 million Facebook views and 3 million Instagram views is not enough, master? |
1.2188 |
0.05665 |
64 |
51 |
12 |
1 |
1612 |
We actually bought this cat? |
1.2188 |
0.06853 |
64 |
54 |
6 |
4 |
1613 |
Looks like Cat King Cole has been into the catnip again. |
1.2188 |
0.05665 |
64 |
51 |
12 |
1 |
1614 |
Well, I guess this makes it official. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1615 |
Where did we go wrong? |
1.2188 |
0.06853 |
64 |
54 |
6 |
4 |
1616 |
You should see the cat box! |
1.2188 |
0.06481 |
64 |
53 |
8 |
3 |
1617 |
Trump's influence is everywhere. |
1.2188 |
0.06087 |
64 |
52 |
10 |
2 |
1618 |
From now on, she wants to be called, "Miss Puddytat Lion-born of House Purrgareyan, First of Her Name, Queen of the Seven Cul-de-sacs, the Unspayed, Mother of Kittens." |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1619 |
I hope now you see why I wanted to get a dog. |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1620 |
Princess is just a name, not a title! |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1621 |
Don't take this wrong, but we're adding a couple of Dobermans to our family. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1622 |
No, honey, you wanted to name him Trump! |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1623 |
It's not me; it's your cat. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1624 |
We thought you should know that Winter is coming, He's a Great Dane/Boxer mix. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1625 |
Before adopting Mr. Nibbles we thought Machiavelli's The Prince was satire. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1626 |
As your advisors, we thought all the catnip was getting in the way of your official duties. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1627 |
I can’t believe we now have a malignant narcissist at home |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1628 |
If he says 'Hakuna Matata' one more time... |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1629 |
We know you're disappointed, but there's no way you can be 'top dog'. |
1.2167 |
0.07551 |
60 |
52 |
3 |
5 |
1630 |
I'm so sorry. I should have discussed it with you before I got pregnant. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1631 |
Dear, do you think his expectations are excessive? |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1632 |
When you said you were getting the King Louis a throne, I thought you meant a new litter box. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1633 |
When he moves his right foot to the left, he wants Tender Vittles. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1634 |
I told you Game of Thrones would be a negative influence on our family. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1635 |
I prefer the term Enlightened Despot. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1636 |
I told you we shouldn't have let him watch Trump on TV. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1637 |
Of course we love you, but you're still not a dog. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1638 |
Who's going to tell the emperor he needs new clothes? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1639 |
OK, so your past life regression therapy revealed you've had eight previous lives... |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1640 |
For the last time, Oliver, you're not a king and this is not a jungle! |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1641 |
Your turn to be Master of the Queen's Litter Box. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1642 |
Please! We'll never let it happen again. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1643 |
I thought it was just a phase. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1644 |
...and how is this supposed to improve our sex life? |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1645 |
She hasn't given you permission to sit yet. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1646 |
Prince Rusty looked out the window today, the female backyard cats were laughing at him . |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1647 |
What if we decided not to serve? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1648 |
I don't think, "Let them eat tuna," is going to win you any friends in your cat kingdom. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1649 |
We sense a keen disappointment in all that you survey. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1650 |
Game of Thrones will be on in a week, there's got to be something you can do with yourself until then. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1651 |
You can go on trying to "Make Cats Great Again" ... just not here. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1652 |
There is no easy way to say this, we are getting a dog. |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1653 |
When we named you Cat King Cole, it was just a play on words. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1654 |
I warned you that you wouldn't be able to sleep 16 hours a day if you were king. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1655 |
Generations of inbreeding. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1656 |
We are not getting you another rat court jester. You've eaten the last three! |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1657 |
I'm stopping his Fancy Feast subscribe & save tomorrow. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1658 |
Let me guess, Mr. Wiggles' DNA test results arrived? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1659 |
Isn't this a bit much for killing one stray mouse |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1660 |
Please, may we please change the channel from Fox News? |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1661 |
realizing you're cat has a problem is the first step. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1662 |
I don't think inheriting all Aunt Ella's money has changed Snowball, do you? |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1663 |
OK, agreed. We give you more treats and you give us more territory. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1664 |
'The Lion King' is just a story - Simba isn't coming. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1665 |
Do you mind if we sleep with you in your bed tonight? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1666 |
Although we could continue to pledge our undying loyalty to you, there remains a remarkable temptation to have you put to sleep and replace you with a puppy. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1667 |
It all started with the cat nip. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1668 |
"King Lear" is just your name; not your identity. |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1669 |
Yes of course you are King of the Jungle. it's just that your jungle was reclaimed by civilization. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1670 |
It was a mistake to make him an indoor only cat. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1671 |
I don't care, you still have to use the litter box" |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1672 |
Just because you won the Miss Kitty USA contest it doesn't mean that some cretin isn't going to try and grab you! |
1.2167 |
0.05363 |
60 |
47 |
13 |
0 |
1673 |
Historically kings often die early: syphilis, the plague, beheading. So there is hope. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1674 |
"Bla bla bla" is all they ever say. Do they not see my robe? My throne? My Royal Crown?!? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1675 |
I want a divorce. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1676 |
I wonder what his next 8 will be like |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1677 |
They say that getting a dog will solve the problem. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1678 |
We watched "Game of Thrones" all weekend, and when I returned from work on Monday, he was like this. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1679 |
Would you rather have my mother move in? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1680 |
"Uneasy lies the crown eh Whiskers? |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1681 |
Your mother and I would like to know how you plan to pay for four kittens? |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1682 |
Frankly, the early morning hairballs undermine your authority, your highness. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1683 |
For the last time, they are not doing a sequel to "Cats." |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1684 |
Does Your Majesty Whiskers III know who left the dead mouse by the pantry? |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1685 |
I think we need to change your catnip. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1686 |
The mice voted for Brexit just to spite you. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1687 |
'"Aww...has Princess had a bad day?" |
1.2167 |
0.05363 |
60 |
47 |
13 |
0 |
1688 |
The regalia isn't the problem. The taxidermy is. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1689 |
We're sorry, Rex, but pooping on the carpet is not a royal prerogative. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1690 |
The breeder said his name is Cat King Cole. |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1691 |
Wow, truffles, that was, like, the biggest, baddest mouse in, like, the entire history of the city. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1692 |
perhaps we should release him back into the wild? |
1.2167 |
0.05363 |
60 |
47 |
13 |
0 |
1693 |
I'm sorry, sweetie. When he said "Grab 'em by the pussy" he didn't mean your kind. |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1694 |
The bad news is that your life as a king is over. The good news is that you have 8 lives left! |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1695 |
Only one more season, your grace. |
1.2167 |
0.05363 |
60 |
47 |
13 |
0 |
1696 |
And maybe someday, you will get the lead in that Broadway play, but for now, I need you to continue to use the litter box. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1697 |
Listen, everyone will have to make sacrifices for the puppy. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1698 |
Look, Schrodinger -- two new leather sofas. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1699 |
I'm tired of all the winning! |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1700 |
"Dogs are awesome, but cats rule. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1701 |
Does this mean we're in the dog house? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1702 |
The vet suggested we switch back to dry food. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1703 |
What are we, chopped liver? |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1704 |
I think the pampering backfired. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1705 |
One chocolate mouse too many. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1706 |
I admit it; I bought the throne. But I don't know where crown and the cape came from.... |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1707 |
He never realized that being president meant no more naps. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1708 |
I think one of your hairballs has lodged in your brain. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1709 |
I think it was the case of margarine. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1710 |
We're sorry, but we cannot allow you go rule our home the way Trump rules the government |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1711 |
He's just living up to his potential . . . You should try it. DEAR! |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1712 |
I think he needs to start dating. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1713 |
You went to London to visit the Queen, and then? |
1.2167 |
0.05363 |
60 |
47 |
13 |
0 |
1714 |
You were playing dress-up with Prince Charles again today, weren't you? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1715 |
So, do you still want to move in? |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1716 |
We may have spoiled her with that new canned food. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1717 |
Why does he have to keep reminding us? |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1718 |
-Are you SURE you still want kids ? |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1719 |
Look, we named you His Royal Supremeness, Lord of All, the Great Purr, as a joke, more or less. |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1720 |
That's not what we meant by "go sit on the throne". |
1.2167 |
0.05363 |
60 |
47 |
13 |
0 |
1721 |
Who died and made him king? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1722 |
We've got a pipe and a bowl, but where can we find fiddlers three? |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1723 |
It's "L'etat c'est moi," not "L'etat c'est meow." |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1724 |
It's still kitty litter and it's not going to change itself. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1725 |
He claims to be a direct descendant of Simba, the lion king. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1726 |
The mice are definitely outnumbered... but they have dragons. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1727 |
I wanted to name him "Pumpkin." But Nooooo -- you insisted he was going to be "Simba." There's no going back now. |
1.2167 |
0.05363 |
60 |
47 |
13 |
0 |
1728 |
There's no way this is a phase. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1729 |
OK. We have taken care of the dog. |
1.2167 |
0.07551 |
60 |
52 |
3 |
5 |
1730 |
Can you tweet about something else? How about the joys of self hygiene, and mice (but not men)? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1731 |
I say we just go back to the boots . . . . |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1732 |
...so after you frightened the little mouse under her chair, the Queen did WHAT? |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1733 |
So, what makes you think Mischief can play golf any time he pleases? |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1734 |
Pawns! |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1735 |
Let them eat chicken. Hell, let them eat liver too. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1736 |
May we sit here or should we kneel? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1737 |
What good is a crown when you're missing your orbs? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1738 |
We are going to start treating you like a cat. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1739 |
I think I would have preferred him stuffed in a more-natural setting. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1740 |
I have a feline this isn't going to work out. I may have to flea. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1741 |
Please pardon us your Grace; we were fools to plan a vacation without you. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1742 |
But Honey, everyone knows that cats rule. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1743 |
Per your instructions, essential oil of mouse hearts has been added to your scratching wall and litter pool. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1744 |
We don't like what Royal Canin and Fancy Feast has done to you. We're switching you back to Meow Mix. |
1.2167 |
0.05867 |
60 |
48 |
11 |
1 |
1745 |
Louis is bored. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1746 |
This is why Trump shouldn't have been President! |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1747 |
Is he really an enchanted prince or does he just have an attitude? |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1748 |
Your boyfriend smells like a dog person. |
1.2167 |
0.06330 |
60 |
49 |
9 |
2 |
1749 |
We should have had a kid. |
1.2167 |
0.06761 |
60 |
50 |
7 |
3 |
1750 |
Perhaps his majesty would be feeling a little better if he hadn't just scarfed down all of daddy's boeuf bourguignon. |
1.2167 |
0.07167 |
60 |
51 |
5 |
4 |
1751 |
Would it please his majesty if mummy scratched his belly? |
1.2154 |
0.05587 |
65 |
52 |
12 |
1 |
1752 |
OK, so he's not qualified. What's our next step? |
1.2154 |
0.06390 |
65 |
54 |
8 |
3 |
1753 |
We're moving to an apartment that doesn't allow kings. |
1.2154 |
0.05587 |
65 |
52 |
12 |
1 |
1754 |
Help us Sir, the mice are revolting. |
1.2154 |
0.06755 |
65 |
55 |
6 |
4 |
1755 |
If cats could talk, they probably wouldn't. |
1.2154 |
0.06390 |
65 |
54 |
8 |
3 |
1756 |
I could've sworn that I ordered Seuss' 'Cat in the Hat,' but Amazon delivered this!?? |
1.2154 |
0.06755 |
65 |
55 |
6 |
4 |
1757 |
You may be orange, but that's no reason to act like Donald Trump. |
1.2154 |
0.06390 |
65 |
54 |
8 |
3 |
1758 |
How much was this litter box? |
1.2154 |
0.06002 |
65 |
53 |
10 |
2 |
1759 |
I dunno. Says he's under audit and won't release his tax returns |
1.2154 |
0.06002 |
65 |
53 |
10 |
2 |
1760 |
Even the cat is in to Game of Thrones |
1.2154 |
0.05587 |
65 |
52 |
12 |
1 |
1761 |
He has no intention of sharing his authority |
1.2154 |
0.05587 |
65 |
52 |
12 |
1 |
1762 |
As far as I'm concerned, you're both in the doghouse. |
1.2154 |
0.06002 |
65 |
53 |
10 |
2 |
1763 |
They captured his eyes spot on! What do you think honey? |
1.2154 |
0.06002 |
65 |
53 |
10 |
2 |
1764 |
Of course your member of the family, just not the"Royal"family! |
1.2154 |
0.06390 |
65 |
54 |
8 |
3 |
1765 |
You had to know the Mouse Guards would turn against you once you ate their leader. |
1.2154 |
0.06002 |
65 |
53 |
10 |
2 |
1766 |
When Your Highness craps in daddy's shoe it makes mommy very sad. |
1.2154 |
0.07102 |
65 |
56 |
4 |
5 |
1767 |
He insists we call him Rex now. |
1.2154 |
0.05587 |
65 |
52 |
12 |
1 |
1768 |
Well, you're the one who spoiled him with the canned food! |
1.2154 |
0.06002 |
65 |
53 |
10 |
2 |
1769 |
I don't care what your mother says. I did not give him too much catnip when he was a kitten. |
1.2154 |
0.06002 |
65 |
53 |
10 |
2 |
1770 |
He does know that you can't just be king, you have to do something, right? |
1.2154 |
0.06390 |
65 |
54 |
8 |
3 |
1771 |
I'm sorry, Tom, I thought he was asleep and the kids wanted to watch The Lion King... I didn't know... |
1.2154 |
0.06002 |
65 |
53 |
10 |
2 |
1772 |
Maybe we shouldn't have named him 'King.' |
1.2154 |
0.06002 |
65 |
53 |
10 |
2 |
1773 |
His highness isn't happy with the new litter box. |
1.2154 |
0.05587 |
65 |
52 |
12 |
1 |
1774 |
It's the worst case of White Cat Privilege I've ever seen. |
1.2143 |
0.06603 |
56 |
46 |
8 |
2 |
1775 |
Fuzzy is the head that wears the crown. Oooh fuzzy wuzzy wuzzy. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1776 |
I didn't have the heart to tell him in another life he actually had been elected President. |
1.2131 |
0.07057 |
61 |
52 |
5 |
4 |
1777 |
Even if we got rid of the crown and all the other regalia, would anything else really change here? |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1778 |
When he's controlling the remote - that's when we cross the line. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1779 |
Maybe we never should have gotten him fixed. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1780 |
Please cheer up, Rocko. We're sorry we had you neutered. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1781 |
He didn't know being king could be so complicated. |
1.2131 |
0.07057 |
61 |
52 |
5 |
4 |
1782 |
I know we are using a tax loophole, but don't you think he is going too far with this Head of Household status. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1783 |
Cheer up, snookems, we're very close to choosing a new queen. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1784 |
Trust me. This could be a thing. Bigger than Facebook. |
1.2131 |
0.05287 |
61 |
48 |
13 |
0 |
1785 |
I'm sorry, it's just not in the budget to stay at Mar-a-Lago. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1786 |
Of course he's sad,he ate his jester. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1787 |
because your cousin is the king of the jungle, you are indeed in the line of succession. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1788 |
I adopted him from a no-coup shelter. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1789 |
We wish we could afford the premium cat food, but for now this is the best we can do. |
1.2131 |
0.05287 |
61 |
48 |
13 |
0 |
1790 |
The dogs have abdicated. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1791 |
I think this whole power trip thing started after you mentioned his small hairball size. |
1.2131 |
0.07435 |
61 |
53 |
3 |
5 |
1792 |
Your turn to escort His Majesty to the litter box. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1793 |
What do you suppose happened? |
1.2131 |
0.07057 |
61 |
52 |
5 |
4 |
1794 |
He keeps saying, "I'm King of my castle!" |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1795 |
He's always been king. Now he is just making it official. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1796 |
He hasn't been the same since he learned it's not a monarchy. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1797 |
We want to break this to you gently. You're being replaced by a King Charles Cavalier puppy |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1798 |
We've explained for years. The Wiz isn't coming back. |
1.2131 |
0.05287 |
61 |
48 |
13 |
0 |
1799 |
I said I can do an impression of a Meerkat, Broadway said we'll do a Shakespearean musical called King Lear, Cat. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1800 |
Naming you Henry doesn't mean your heir to the British throne. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1801 |
This millennial thing is going too far. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1802 |
A million YouTube subscribers does not make you the boss of us. |
1.2131 |
0.07057 |
61 |
52 |
5 |
4 |
1803 |
We should have dethroned before we declawed. |
1.2131 |
0.07435 |
61 |
53 |
3 |
5 |
1804 |
Remember when he used to hide under the bed? |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1805 |
Cheer up - it's not like I'll be having a litter. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1806 |
We told you Healthcare wasn't easy |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1807 |
Buying her Fancy Feast turned out to be a slippery slope. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1808 |
Just because you're the king of the castle does not mean you can rule with an iron paw. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1809 |
In three years he will quit tweeting and your videos will be #1 again. |
1.2131 |
0.07057 |
61 |
52 |
5 |
4 |
1810 |
We have to tell him that the corgi was just visiting |
1.2131 |
0.05287 |
61 |
48 |
13 |
0 |
1811 |
He doesn't have to spell it out, we're not idiots. |
1.2131 |
0.07057 |
61 |
52 |
5 |
4 |
1812 |
Indifference and fresh salmon are killing you. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1813 |
We're sorry that Princess Fluffy didn't meet your expectations. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1814 |
I know your video got 1 million views but don't you think you've taken it too far? |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1815 |
She's not that into you. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1816 |
I told you we shouldn't have let him watch "Game of Thrones". |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1817 |
We need a dog. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1818 |
No, we can't banish all dogs from the kingdom, though we can give Your Majesty a soft chin scratch. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1819 |
We just want what's best for you. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1820 |
No, Dad. It's not a good substitute for a King Charles Spaniel. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1821 |
Would'st thou consider using the litter box next time? |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1822 |
Declaring a travel ban on dogs is not really a good idea at this time, your majesty. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1823 |
Don't you think you are taking this "king of beasts" a little far? |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1824 |
He thinks he's king of the jungle. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1825 |
We didn't know the costume would induce delusions of dander. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1826 |
Honey, the Game of Thrones binging is really starting to impact the whole family. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1827 |
Do you think it's because we named him Donald? |
1.2131 |
0.07057 |
61 |
52 |
5 |
4 |
1828 |
Please, your Highness, just acknowledge our presence. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1829 |
I'm not gonna sing you the song from the King and I again. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1830 |
So you looked at the King. What next? |
1.2131 |
0.07057 |
61 |
52 |
5 |
4 |
1831 |
I told you from the start I'm a dog person |
1.2131 |
0.07057 |
61 |
52 |
5 |
4 |
1832 |
Yes, but you descended from ferals. |
1.2131 |
0.05287 |
61 |
48 |
13 |
0 |
1833 |
The mouse king refuses your suit for the hand of his daughter. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1834 |
I still think we should have cremated him. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1835 |
I told you not to give him tuna. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1836 |
I wouldn't mind if he hadn't beheaded the dog. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1837 |
You were right, Bob. Catnip and power don't mix. |
1.2131 |
0.06659 |
61 |
51 |
7 |
3 |
1838 |
If you remember I wanted to call her Puffy Boo, but you insisted on Queenie. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1839 |
What do we do, she still isn't satisified |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1840 |
I think the imported salmon is helping with his self-esteem issues |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1841 |
Could we maybe try a constitutional monarchy for a while? |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1842 |
Having ruled for many years, Tibbert grew tired of his servants. |
1.2131 |
0.05780 |
61 |
49 |
11 |
1 |
1843 |
Would you like extra mice to top your tuna casserole majesty? |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1844 |
We should have never named him Henry! |
1.2131 |
0.05287 |
61 |
48 |
13 |
0 |
1845 |
With all due respect Sire, the proverb says only that a cat can LOOK at a king. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1846 |
Oh well, we may as well face it. The KITTEN is gone . . . Long Live The Cat. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1847 |
I bought the whole outfit on that website for childless couples. |
1.2131 |
0.06235 |
61 |
50 |
9 |
2 |
1848 |
We understand, it IS upsetting that your subjects can't see your new clothes. |
1.2121 |
0.05511 |
66 |
53 |
12 |
1 |
1849 |
Yes, I suppose I did say that cremating him would be nuts. |
1.2083 |
0.07268 |
48 |
40 |
6 |
2 |
1850 |
At least he has decided whether he wants to be in or out. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1851 |
He knows he's funding our retirement through those cat videos you shot when he was a kitten. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1852 |
I guess when he brought us home, he never thought we would be this much work! |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1853 |
One canary too many. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1854 |
We should have never named him Donald. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1855 |
It's just a conspurracy theory. Nothing to lose a life over. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1856 |
You see, our feelings for you are merely the result of Stockholm syndrome. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1857 |
Let's hope he's not above hunting the common mouse |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1858 |
With that cape and crown, you look like a self-centered narcissist. You should run for president. |
1.2069 |
0.07279 |
58 |
50 |
4 |
4 |
1859 |
He seems to be trying to tell us what we already know. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1860 |
We understand your trauma, we are shocked too to learn that your Father was a Tomcat... |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1861 |
It was your idea to call him Rex. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1862 |
I swear that all we discussed was adopting the kittens. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1863 |
He says the litter box needs more jewels. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1864 |
Her Meowjesty has graciously unspooled the toilet paper again. |
1.2069 |
0.07279 |
58 |
50 |
4 |
4 |
1865 |
Being King of the Household ain't all it's cracked up to be, is it? |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1866 |
We're going to have get a bigger litter box. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1867 |
One pound of catnip and he thinks he's King Trump |
1.2069 |
0.07279 |
58 |
50 |
4 |
4 |
1868 |
Are you sure the dog died of natural causes? |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1869 |
It's an exhausting job? Maybe it's the tweet all-nighters. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1870 |
It was all fun and games till he banished the dog. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1871 |
And he still insists he should have won the popular vote. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1872 |
I know that cats consider themselves regal, but this is ridiculous! |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1873 |
Fluffy binge watched "Game of Thrones"again |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1874 |
I told you the crown would help him forget that we had him fixed. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1875 |
It's good to be king. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1876 |
How about a bigger throne? Or maybe a scepter--would a scepter help? |
1.2069 |
0.07279 |
58 |
50 |
4 |
4 |
1877 |
Sometimes I feel like you care more about him than me. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1878 |
Your Grace, we request you use the litter box next time. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1879 |
Just because we named you Donald....... |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1880 |
I guess we overdid it in the enhanced catnip |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1881 |
Impressive. And he still has 8 lives. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1882 |
We let you exile the dog but we cannot allow you to annex the neighbor's back yard. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1883 |
Well, he did win the Electoral College. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1884 |
OK The dog is dead. What next? |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1885 |
I knew it all along, it's just official now. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1886 |
Having only 8 lives is STILL something to be proud of, princess. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1887 |
Maybe binge-watching 'Game of Thrones' wasn't such a good idea. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1888 |
It was your idea to name him DJ Trump! |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1889 |
This is a royal pain in the ass. |
1.2069 |
0.07279 |
58 |
50 |
4 |
4 |
1890 |
Abdication is not an option? |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1891 |
Boots?" "Remember the dog ran away with your boots! |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1892 |
Listen Fluffy, this whole King of the Jungle phase you're going through is getting out of hand. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1893 |
Rex, it's not ED. You had a procedure when you were very young. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1894 |
We crossed the line with "lobster night ". |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1895 |
Why cats will rule the world |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1896 |
His YouTube video went viral. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1897 |
His Royal Highness prefers the term plus-size over fat. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1898 |
Peel another mouse for you sire? |
1.2069 |
0.07279 |
58 |
50 |
4 |
4 |
1899 |
'I vote for naming him Trump,' you said. 'Let's shake things up a little,' you said. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1900 |
Have you tried past life regressions? |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1901 |
We should have had a kid. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1902 |
Now that we've crowned you King, may we have permission to rub your belly, Your Highness? |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1903 |
Salmon, it's all we have left. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1904 |
Cersie, next time we don't throw the dog off the roof . . . |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1905 |
We never should've fed her the fancy feast. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1906 |
I draw the line at his own Twitter account. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1907 |
Listen, we get it. Heavy is the head that eats the tuna. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1908 |
The court appointed psychiatrists called us insane. What does Your Majesty say? |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1909 |
Oh, My Liege, wouldst pray purr if thou art pleased with thy minions' service? |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1910 |
Yes, fixed means you can't make princes. |
1.2069 |
0.07683 |
58 |
51 |
2 |
5 |
1911 |
Please, where did you hide the human-nip? |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1912 |
That's right; regardless what we've called you all these years, technically we are NOT actually your subjects. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1913 |
What's your take? Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, or it's really not good to be the king? |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1914 |
He wants a special feast tonight. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1915 |
Is the throne not as comfy as the radiator, My Lord? |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1916 |
Shall we bring in the Mouseketeers or Pug the Jester? |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1917 |
We want you to know that our getting a dog will in no way change your status in our household. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1918 |
I told you, the dog doesn't want to be your jester. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1919 |
It's not your fault health care is so complicated. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1920 |
We're sorry, but it seems the dog has started a republic. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1921 |
I couldn't care less who gets custody. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1922 |
Chin up. Making litter great again IS hard! |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1923 |
You used to rule with an iron paw. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1924 |
Honey, I think it's time you stopped showing the cat The Lion King. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1925 |
Don't worry we will find you another pair of boots! |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1926 |
Sorry, your Highness, while we're away Jenny next door won't be courtseying when she comes to clean the litter box. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1927 |
No. He's not surprised. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1928 |
You must forget her! Your subjects will never accept a toy poodle as their queen. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1929 |
He's feline good so I want to change his name to James Brown. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1930 |
You mentioned fancy feast so I dressed for the occasion |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1931 |
Will your majesty be dining on the kibble? |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1932 |
With posture like that, sire, you're going to get a 'kingk" in your back! |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1933 |
I just think the world is ready for the title "King Pussy". |
1.2069 |
0.07279 |
58 |
50 |
4 |
4 |
1934 |
Who knew cat care was so complicated? |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1935 |
You ARE the best kitty. Magnificent. Probably the best since Simba. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1936 |
Don't be so sad. Next time we'll remember to have them pack any leftover sushi for you. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1937 |
She's depressed because she thinks it's a demotion. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1938 |
After he went viral he totally changed. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1939 |
His Highness desires a totalitarian dictator rodent to amuse him. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1940 |
It's okay Mr. Chips. It was just a matter of time before Chance the Rapper got more views than your youtube channel. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1941 |
We know you and Buddy are fighting, but 'off with his head' seems a bit harsh. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1942 |
Inventing Snap-Cat really went to his head! |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1943 |
He's been like this ever since that Russian Blue next door left the rat for him. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1944 |
Ennui. You know...the opposite of what you feel when you threaten the mice with nuclear holocaust. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1945 |
Heavy is the cat that wears the crown... |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1946 |
Please don't worry, Princess, we will be here to serve you for all of your lives. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1947 |
I checked online. Your scepter should arrive tomorrow. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1948 |
I take it winning the "Anchovy Challenge" wasn't as much fun as you thought it might be. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1949 |
We probably shouldn't have given him this much power. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1950 |
I think nine was one too many.... |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1951 |
I said you could buy her a bowtie. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1952 |
Look, we're kidding when we address you as Your Highness. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1953 |
Sorry, the boots needed new soles |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1954 |
I think it's time to get a dog |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1955 |
Maybe we shouldn't have named him "Rex." |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1956 |
Hopefully now he'll stop scratching the couch |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1957 |
We're concerned this career move is a bit unrealistic. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1958 |
Well, what did you expect when you gave him the throne? |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1959 |
We have to stop feeding him Fancy Feast. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1960 |
`Trying to emulate that orange, wanna be dictator you see on tv does not make you president of this house." |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1961 |
Please we are begging to know; which one of us do you like better? |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1962 |
Being a fat cat is overrated. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1963 |
You're here and the mice still play. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1964 |
We really do live in an era where pussy is king. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1965 |
You mean we have to put up with him 9 more lifetimes |
1.2069 |
0.07279 |
58 |
50 |
4 |
4 |
1966 |
Well, it is the cat's world. We're just allowed to live in it. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1967 |
I can't believe he ate the whole thing! |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1968 |
Define rescue. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1969 |
Bootsie, we are not your servants. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1970 |
If it please Your Highness, I could go get the laser pointer. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1971 |
We should never have let him watch "The Lion King." |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1972 |
I don't even want to think of what he will be in his next life! |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1973 |
We pick up the new puppy tomorrow. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1974 |
So, tell us again how you think you actually won the popular vote even after your coronation. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1975 |
King Mittens still looks catatonic. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1976 |
I asked for a Kit Kat Bar, not a King Cat Czar. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1977 |
Maybe we should have had that child instead. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1978 |
Dear, could I be queen for a day? |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1979 |
He said that now that he's in his eighth life he wants to turn over some of his royal responsibilities to us. |
1.2069 |
0.05365 |
58 |
46 |
12 |
0 |
1980 |
It's like entertaining royalty without the pomp. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1981 |
After receiving the cat ancestry results: "He's really taking this whole Cornish Rex thing very seriously" |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1982 |
We know about the catnip. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1983 |
Did he just tell us to bend the knee?? |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1984 |
Seems like purring after praise is exhausting. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1985 |
I think we're stuck with him. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1986 |
I think all the fancy feast has gone to his head |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1987 |
I think there's something in that new Trump brand cat food. |
1.2069 |
0.06851 |
58 |
49 |
6 |
3 |
1988 |
We ARE sitting. |
1.2069 |
0.06394 |
58 |
48 |
8 |
2 |
1989 |
No one can replace her. When her time comes, we'll have to form a republic. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1990 |
I think your obsession with Game of Thrones has gotten a little out of hand. |
1.2069 |
0.05902 |
58 |
47 |
10 |
1 |
1991 |
Chicken or fish, my liege |
1.2059 |
0.05366 |
68 |
55 |
12 |
1 |
1992 |
No, the mice cannot come over to play. |
1.2051 |
0.04950 |
78 |
63 |
14 |
1 |
1993 |
We're sending you to catnip rehab! |
1.2034 |
0.05285 |
59 |
47 |
12 |
0 |
1994 |
We thought if we told you right away, you'll have nine whole months to get use to it. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
1995 |
The vet's narrowed it down to menarche or monarchy. |
1.2034 |
0.07163 |
59 |
51 |
4 |
4 |
1996 |
Apparently it's the new 'cat's pajamas' according to the vet. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
1997 |
I can think the Instagram success has gone to his head. |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
1998 |
Maybe Your Majesty wasn't such a great name Dear... |
1.2034 |
0.05285 |
59 |
47 |
12 |
0 |
1999 |
The vet says we should not allow him to watch any more Trump press conferences |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2000 |
She finds our cat box humiliating. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2001 |
You have to stop watching the Lion King. It's not good for your self esteem. |
1.2034 |
0.06743 |
59 |
50 |
6 |
3 |
2002 |
Since he got the part, he's impossible to live with. |
1.2034 |
0.05285 |
59 |
47 |
12 |
0 |
2003 |
Fret not! The catnip will be here within the hour! |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2004 |
I could have him declawed but never dethroned. |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2005 |
Yes, it was your turn, but now its Richard's turn |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2006 |
As s long as we give her catnip and Caesar's liver she doesn't destroy our curtains. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2007 |
Let's call him Donald. |
1.2034 |
0.06743 |
59 |
50 |
6 |
3 |
2008 |
You can be Old King Cole in your next life. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2009 |
I promise he won't be too much trouble. He cleans up after himself and he won't eat your food. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2010 |
Fat cats always lean to the right |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2011 |
It’s time to talk about the dog. |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2012 |
I'll say it one more time. Wild-caught, not farm-raised. |
1.2034 |
0.06743 |
59 |
50 |
6 |
3 |
2013 |
I don't care what you think ... he's not spoiled. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2014 |
We're sorry Vermont said they don't need a king. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2015 |
To think he was once a pure- bred, lean, mean, mouse-killing machine. |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2016 |
At dawn Ralph and I will be taking you to a place of our choosing, and thereupon and at such time you will be hung by the neck until you are dead. |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2017 |
Smile, we found your Boots. |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2018 |
She just heard Trump has a pussy. |
1.2034 |
0.07560 |
59 |
52 |
2 |
5 |
2019 |
You keep telling me my pussy rules. |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2020 |
Henry needs an heir. |
1.2034 |
0.05285 |
59 |
47 |
12 |
0 |
2021 |
Your Highness, our whole situation is Catastrophic. |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2022 |
As you can see, he was disappointed in the court jester. |
1.2034 |
0.06743 |
59 |
50 |
6 |
3 |
2023 |
Sorry, you were a sweet little kitten when we named you 'Fluffernutter' |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2024 |
No, YOU grab the pussy |
1.2034 |
0.06295 |
59 |
49 |
8 |
2 |
2025 |
I'm thinking it's time we broke the news to the Emperor. Again. |
1.2034 |
0.05285 |
59 |
47 |
12 |
0 |
2026 |
He says bow the knee or kiss the curtains goodbye. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2027 |
Now this is strong evidence of a royal catnipshin. |
1.2034 |
0.05812 |
59 |
48 |
10 |
1 |
2028 |
Really, "off with their heads" is all you can say for yourself? |
1.2000 |
0.06198 |
60 |
50 |
8 |
2 |
2029 |
Rex next door says royalty or not, he will continue to chase you. |
1.2000 |
0.06389 |
50 |
41 |
8 |
1 |
2030 |
Yet he still maintains that the election was "fixed". |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
2031 |
Don't act like you swallowed the canary with us. |
1.2000 |
0.07338 |
40 |
33 |
6 |
1 |
2032 |
Now I see why you named our kitty, "trumpy" |
1.2000 |
0.05460 |
65 |
53 |
11 |
1 |
2033 |
We wanted you to know that Parliament has elected a Prime Minister, and the breeder is bringing him tomorrow. |
1.1972 |
0.05890 |
71 |
60 |
8 |
3 |
2034 |
Heavy is the head that ate my whole apple pie. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2035 |
I keep telling you, dogs have Owners, cats have Slaves. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2036 |
There are just some character flaws that courture can't overcome. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2037 |
That's not what the "King of the Jungle" looked like online. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2038 |
The jester doesn't make house calls. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2039 |
We gave him "Royal" brand catnip. I thought "side affects" was just a misprint on the the warning label. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2040 |
Perhaps we've been too indulgent... |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2041 |
Now can we bury him? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2042 |
We should never have named him "King".... |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2043 |
Looks like the crown is going to his head. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2044 |
And how do you feline about that? |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2045 |
Sorry bub but when you left the jungle the rules changed. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2046 |
I tried... the mice refuse to bend the knee. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2047 |
Your father and I wanted you to know...you're adopted. |
1.1964 |
0.07394 |
56 |
49 |
3 |
4 |
2048 |
Well, OK then. Why don't we start with your mother. |
1.1964 |
0.07394 |
56 |
49 |
3 |
4 |
2049 |
We're sorry, but this is the biggest throne we could afford. Really. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2050 |
Iams what Iams. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2051 |
Sire, is there not one royal feather toy worth holding onto? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2052 |
Well, aren't you the cutest little tyrant. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2053 |
Yes, even the king has to use the litter box. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2054 |
He won't eat unless I address him as 'sire.' |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2055 |
The other cats ignored you? |
1.1964 |
0.07821 |
56 |
50 |
1 |
5 |
2056 |
Look, we understand how to you our one bedroom apartment may seem like a castle. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2057 |
Some bad news, Caesar. Seth is leaving and I'm trading you in for a gecko. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2058 |
Now that we've got this settled, where do we stand on that hamster I've been wanting? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2059 |
We want to discuss your attitude. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2060 |
Hail The Lying King! |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2061 |
OK, your meow-jesty. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2062 |
His analyst suggests we try more groveling, less pampering. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2063 |
The cat in the hat sat for a chat |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2064 |
We weren't talking about actually getting a dog. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2065 |
The King of the Beasts needs his litter box changed. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2066 |
Ohh, poor little kitty. You must be so tired after that long phone call with the president of Mexico. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2067 |
This is no ordinary lethargy. Only yesterday he was singing Cole Porter. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2068 |
Don't worry; Game of Thrones may still have an Andrew Lloyd Webber finale. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2069 |
He's torn between 'CATS' and 'Lion King' |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2070 |
I just can't ignore the cat in the room. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2071 |
Well the weather forecast did say it's reigning cats and dogs. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2072 |
Don't give up on us Boswell, we're trying hard to find you the right food. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2073 |
Can you imagine if he were an outdoor cat? |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2074 |
Your "King of the Jungle" needs to diet. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2075 |
Think she was one of the pussies grabbed by Trump? |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2076 |
We thought you knew king was just your name |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2077 |
Can you please go catch him a mouse? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2078 |
"It's Daddy's turn to be the King". |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2079 |
We serve at his pleasure but there's no pleasing him |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2080 |
Blame the media all you want, but they're the ones who made you a fat cat in the first place. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2081 |
Of course she's upset. She just ate all of her heirs. |
1.1964 |
0.07394 |
56 |
49 |
3 |
4 |
2082 |
No, it can’t always be ‘spur of the moment,’ but we’ll be your opposable thumbs—we’ll tweet for you. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2083 |
At our request, parliament also adopted a no kitties on the counter rule. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2084 |
He had the computer mouse for dinner. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2085 |
Not my King! |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2086 |
The emperor prefers no clothes. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2087 |
He was thin and shy until his video went viral. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2088 |
Darling, do you think Puss is getting too big for her own boots ? |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2089 |
Your Majesty, the mice are rebelling and we are running out of tuna. What do you wish us to do? |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2090 |
The White House is nice, Your Majesty. When can we go to Meow A Lago? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2091 |
We're out of mice. Will robins do? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2092 |
We told you it was going to be hard being king. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2093 |
But the residuals from his kitten videos keep coming in. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2094 |
Maybe if we elevated the throne? |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2095 |
...and that's the reason you haven't produced an heir. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2096 |
How could anyone not be a cat person? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2097 |
I thought we agreed we were just getting him neutered |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2098 |
Pussy says you grabbed her. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2099 |
It's a House cat. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2100 |
We both sincerely apologize for calling you a royal pain. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2101 |
I don't think he realized that being royal would be so exhausting. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2102 |
Never in a million years did I think I'd end up as a cat counseling major. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2103 |
He's finally dressing the part! |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2104 |
How do we break it to him that he is a co-equal third branch of this family? |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2105 |
Think of it as the heirball to the throne. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2106 |
When he gets to know you, you can crawl forward - slowly - with head bowed. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2107 |
So nobody ever told you about the French Revolution, your Highness? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2108 |
Your meow is my demand. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2109 |
I'm not pussy whipped. |
1.1964 |
0.07394 |
56 |
49 |
3 |
4 |
2110 |
We see you've mastered the Feline Recline. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2111 |
He hasn't been the same since we let him watch Lion King. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2112 |
I'm sorry King Fluffy. When I called you 'Princess' I meant it as a term of endearment. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2113 |
I told you not to start feeding him Fancy Feast. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2114 |
Puss in Boots is one thing, but wearing a crown, draped in a cloak and lounging on a throne is quite another. What were you thinking of? A subject for Jeff Koons? |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2115 |
She's been like this ever since I told her that 'Queen for a Day' went off the air years ago. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2116 |
OK, more foie gras and deli turkey it will be then. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2117 |
He says, "Now is the winter of our discontent. Rub my tummy." |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2118 |
Sorry, sire. You've executed the last of the dogs. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2119 |
It's good to be the cat |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2120 |
Get over it - you'll have eight more abdications. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2121 |
The vet thinks we spoil him. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2122 |
Um, how many lives do you have left? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2123 |
We should have stopped when you were president. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2124 |
What do you mean we're just "fake news"? |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2125 |
You're not fat and lazy. That's fake mews. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2126 |
Do you think his diet is too rich? |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2127 |
We got rid of the dog. Can't we keep the kids? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2128 |
So Fritz, today we'd like to talk to you about empty nest syndrome. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2129 |
I thought he'd be happy once we got rid of the dog. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2130 |
I'm afraid that naming him 'Donald' was a big mistake. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2131 |
He lives the puuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect life. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2132 |
His ascension was so sudden. I had no idea Queenie was on her last life. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2133 |
It all started when we bought him that iPad. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2134 |
Ah,don't fret, you'll always be king in our jungle. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2135 |
Leo, we just know you're going to love having a little human baby brother. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2136 |
Sorry, but no more Fancy Feast. We're putting you back on Meow Mix. |
1.1964 |
0.07394 |
56 |
49 |
3 |
4 |
2137 |
YOU wanted to name him Louis. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2138 |
But honey, I'm sure your real mother loves you just as much as we do. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2139 |
I told you he was a British Shorthair |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2140 |
Noble, yes, but lazy. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2141 |
Isn't he taking this Ser Pounce thing a bit far? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2142 |
Canned or raw? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2143 |
We need to talk about you laissez-faire approach to the litter box. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2144 |
She's completely conquered us and now she's bored. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2145 |
No, David, the lawyers were adamant, under Aunt Agatha's will Queenie owns everything. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2146 |
He is probably thinking this place is a dump. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2147 |
Maybe a seatbelt would help. |
1.1964 |
0.07394 |
56 |
49 |
3 |
4 |
2148 |
We're here to serve you. We get it. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2149 |
We should have gone with the dog jester |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2150 |
This isn't what we meant when we asked you to 'go medieval' on the mice. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2151 |
How exhausting it must be to preside over an entire kingdom that's aloof. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2152 |
This all started when you insisted on that damn organic catnip from the farmer's market. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2153 |
A dog? This will be the downfall of the Persian Empire! |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2154 |
It looks like his princely duties are taking a toll. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2155 |
Dogs have masters, cats have servants |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2156 |
This is what happens when you put pussy on a pedestal. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2157 |
Despite your decree you still have to use the littler box. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2158 |
I don't want a second cat, either, but we're gonna need a Brutus. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2159 |
Now that he's cornered the entire catnip market he's completely lost all motivation. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2160 |
Don't despair, dear -- there MUST be someone else you can fire. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2161 |
Did we catch ennui, or were we born with it? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2162 |
I think we better cut off (s)he from Game Of Thrones |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2163 |
I will just have you two refer to me from now on as the greatest American fat cat ever. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2164 |
No! It's against the Constitution! |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2165 |
I think the mouse catching has gone to his head. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2166 |
There are lots of 'kings of the jungle', but you're the only king of the apartment. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2167 |
He took this rat king thing way too seriously. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2168 |
The vet told him he has no clothes that's what's up with him. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2169 |
I liked your kangaroo get-up better. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2170 |
At least he doesn't spray anymore |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2171 |
The President called. He needs another fat cat in his Cabinet. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2172 |
I said "vermin," but Rex heard "ermine." |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2173 |
We're getting a dog. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2174 |
I'm starting to miss the mice. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2175 |
Bring me the dog's head. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2176 |
The power (and the catnip) have clearly gone to his head. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2177 |
Maybe being king of the cats is not all it's made out to be. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2178 |
He really guilted me after the neutering. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2179 |
We felt you should be the fist to know, I am pregnant |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2180 |
You were totally right - "Taxidermy On A Throne" was the way to go. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2181 |
So, only sushi-grade fish, medium-rare steak and filtered water? Did I miss anything? |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2182 |
Matthew's only coming home for a week. Then it's right back to school with him, I promise. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2183 |
Some merry old soul ! |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2184 |
As your therapist, I feel your inability to purr is do to a lack of contentment. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2185 |
Don't worry your highness. When we say FIX, nothing of yours is broke. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2186 |
Maybe we should try Craigs List. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2187 |
The ennui set in after the 7th life |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2188 |
The vet said his Lion King delusions will pass with time. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2189 |
Peel me a mouse, naves |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2190 |
We give him a reward for catching six mice and it goes right to his head. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2191 |
Dogs and politicians all banished! Are you happy now? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2192 |
Abdication? Well yes, the dog has been waiting for years. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2193 |
Please forgive us, the foot stool is on it's way! |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2194 |
There is just no pleasing him. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2195 |
Well, OK. But you two have to walk it, and keep it off our bed. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2196 |
Should we skip 'Game of Thrones' this week? |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2197 |
I'm not saying I don't like your cat Howard; I'm saying all kings are foes of the men they rule. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2198 |
Trust me. Odds are, he'll go slumming all night, and you'll never see him again. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2199 |
We never should have rented "The Lion King." |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2200 |
From reality TV star to, well, TV reality. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2201 |
Your Majesty, may I suggest "ennui" is insufficient cause to desert your mousing duties? |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2202 |
I thought this would be funny, but it really isn't. |
1.1964 |
0.07394 |
56 |
49 |
3 |
4 |
2203 |
Must be the THC-infused catnip. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2204 |
How many mice does he expect us to catch?! |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2205 |
They say he won the popular vote. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2206 |
We're getting a divorce. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2207 |
I knew naming her 'Princess' was a risk. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2208 |
No more 'Game of Thrones' for you, Mr. Whiskers! |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2209 |
I told you we should have had him fixed. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2210 |
Spoiled? I don't know what you mean. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2211 |
I'm glad to see it's a working vacation. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2212 |
Do you think we've spoiled Mr Fluffington? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2213 |
No...we really mean it. We are blessed and privileged to have the honor of feeding you and changing your litter. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2214 |
Boots? Really? |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2215 |
Maybe we should cut off his "Fancy Feast" and go back to "Friskies". |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2216 |
It's our fault. The shelter told us he was a bit demanding. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2217 |
The Fancy Feast has really gone to his head. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2218 |
He says it's 'for a podcast.' |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2219 |
We're concerned about how your growing Insta-fame is affecting your attitude around here, Mittens. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2220 |
We should never have named him 'Henry VIII'. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2221 |
We shouldn't have put the Imperial margarine on his tuna. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2222 |
I told you cats can be a royal pain... |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2223 |
It's no use, the Queen has always liked dogs. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2224 |
"It's a dog-eat-dog world" is just an expression! They aren't planning a coup. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2225 |
Could we be contributing to his insolence and pomposity |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2226 |
"Everything was going great, The Castle, Harem, Gold Treasures......Then she left me for a common house cat and got it all! |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2227 |
I still think a dog would have been more work. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
2228 |
We're thinking of getting a puppy. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2229 |
He's depressed - the litter was all female which means 9 royal weddings an no heir. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2230 |
Well, the Egyptians did treat them like royalty. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
2231 |
Muffin, Tom and I would like to sleep together tonight ... without you. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2232 |
Oh, stop being such a big pussy and royal pain-in-the-ass! |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2233 |
We need to talk to you about your cattidute. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
2234 |
What if I warm your milk AND make John here deliver it in crystal? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
2235 |
His father was in real estate. He's never scratched or clawed for anything. |
1.1961 |
0.06275 |
51 |
42 |
8 |
1 |
2236 |
My kingdom for a sandbox right about now. |
1.1935 |
0.05557 |
62 |
51 |
10 |
1 |
2237 |
This is a declaration of our independence |
1.1930 |
0.06352 |
57 |
48 |
7 |
2 |
2238 |
Sorry, Martha Washington ended up naming her cat after someone else. |
1.1930 |
0.06352 |
57 |
48 |
7 |
2 |
2239 |
Listen, can we just get you a twitter account? |
1.1930 |
0.06827 |
57 |
49 |
5 |
3 |
2240 |
Ok, I'll clean the litter box. |
1.1930 |
0.06352 |
57 |
48 |
7 |
2 |
2241 |
He's been like this ever since watching that "King of the Jungle" special on the Nature Channel. |
1.1930 |
0.06352 |
57 |
48 |
7 |
2 |
2242 |
Better do as he says or he'll take us to obedience school again. |
1.1930 |
0.07271 |
57 |
50 |
3 |
4 |
2243 |
I am sorry, I refuse to call him the meow-narch |
1.1930 |
0.06352 |
57 |
48 |
7 |
2 |
2244 |
I suggested a DNA test, but he said it wasn't necessary. |
1.1930 |
0.07271 |
57 |
50 |
3 |
4 |
2245 |
But its good to be king! |
1.1930 |
0.07271 |
57 |
50 |
3 |
4 |
2246 |
Maybe we shouldn’t have named our kitty Donald. |
1.1930 |
0.07271 |
57 |
50 |
3 |
4 |
2247 |
It looks like "King Putty Tat" has been in the liquor cabinet again. |
1.1930 |
0.06352 |
57 |
48 |
7 |
2 |
2248 |
Cat's people. |
1.1930 |
0.05838 |
57 |
47 |
9 |
1 |
2249 |
Dog people are so emotionally needy. |
1.1930 |
0.06352 |
57 |
48 |
7 |
2 |
2250 |
The "millennial" breed name should have tipped us off. |
1.1930 |
0.06827 |
57 |
49 |
5 |
3 |
2251 |
Kings can't be pussies |
1.1897 |
0.06250 |
58 |
49 |
7 |
2 |
2252 |
So what if you're not king of the jungle - isn't it enough to be king of our hearts? |
1.1897 |
0.06716 |
58 |
50 |
5 |
3 |
2253 |
What is love without respect? And what is respect without three cans of tuna? |
1.1897 |
0.07153 |
58 |
51 |
3 |
4 |
2254 |
Now he wants to be President! |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2255 |
It is real ermine, I swear. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2256 |
We're petitioning for parliamentary representation. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2257 |
Your Majesty, the Royal Box is now ready for occupation. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2258 |
We know it was your whisker on the salmon. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2259 |
We just put you on the wet, wild-caught salmon food two weeks ago and now you hate it? Maybe we would try the baked, farm-raised chicken again... |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2260 |
I told you if you fed him Fancy Feast he'd get delusions of grandeur. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2261 |
Too many mice? |
1.1887 |
0.05426 |
53 |
43 |
10 |
0 |
2262 |
I thought it was "Heavy is the head"? |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2263 |
See, this is what happens when you let him sleep in the bed. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2264 |
It's your turn to change the Royal Litter Box. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2265 |
He thinks we'll send him to Washington with the other fat cats. |
1.1887 |
0.05426 |
53 |
43 |
10 |
0 |
2266 |
Yes, we are having a baby. Please don't worry, you will always the queen. |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
2267 |
We're sorry, but Fancy Feast is just a brand. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2268 |
No, he said "L'état", not "Le chat c'est moi." |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2269 |
your father and I think it's time to back off Game of Thrones for a while. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2270 |
Guess what? You're just about to have a new little sister! |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2271 |
I told you we shouldn't have switched him to wet food. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2272 |
We've decided to get a dog. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2273 |
We both love your, I'm so Trump thing, but in reality you're just a pussy. |
1.1887 |
0.05426 |
53 |
43 |
10 |
0 |
2274 |
I'm not Steve Bannon. I'm not trying to suck my own cock. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2275 |
Release the dog. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2276 |
Gosh, you really do treat your pets like royalty. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2277 |
We switched to clumping litter, Your Majesty. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2278 |
I think that we've overdone the praise |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
2279 |
We're sorry... we understand that you think you make all the rules... |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2280 |
I'm pregnant. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2281 |
Honey, it's time to buy that dog. |
1.1887 |
0.05426 |
53 |
43 |
10 |
0 |
2282 |
As it should be. |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
2283 |
I know, you know, everyone knows I'm just a figurehead. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2284 |
Heavy is the head that wears a crown. |
1.1887 |
0.05426 |
53 |
43 |
10 |
0 |
2285 |
This isn't the pussy I was talking about, Devin. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2286 |
He's been like this ever since I explained that his executive authority has been curtailed. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2287 |
Maybe it would be easier to have a real child? |
1.1887 |
0.05426 |
53 |
43 |
10 |
0 |
2288 |
But you can't be a prince to everyone. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2289 |
Of course this is Your Kingdom but-- it's just not possible to deport All Dogs |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
2290 |
WE'RE TRYING, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A FERAL VIRGIN! |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2291 |
You cannot keep living beyond your memes. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2292 |
Please, can we keep him? |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2293 |
I tried treating him as an equal, but as you can see that didn't turn out well. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2294 |
Do you think we should tell him , He is not revered here like he was in Egypt |
1.1887 |
0.05426 |
53 |
43 |
10 |
0 |
2295 |
What makes you think this is a cartoon? |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2296 |
But will people watching YouTube think it's funny? |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2297 |
Do you think we are spoiling him? |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2298 |
Where are his boots? |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2299 |
Hey, so you killed one mouse, that's your job! |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2300 |
Are you sure it's just the catnip? |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2301 |
Please, we promise we'll be back in just a week. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
2302 |
I wish we had a dog. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2303 |
Your majesty, the new neighbors, they have a dog. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2304 |
Let's just admit that he's dead. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2305 |
But your highness- "pause" for a moment- your feline family doesn't know or even care that you have five paws!" |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2306 |
He just couldn't wait to be king |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2307 |
Even though you are orange, there can only be one Trump |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
2308 |
He just found out that being Top Cat means nothing. |
1.1875 |
0.05398 |
64 |
53 |
10 |
1 |
2309 |
We both know he rules the apartment. I got the crown and robe on sale. |
1.1875 |
0.06250 |
64 |
55 |
6 |
3 |
2310 |
Instead of bird tweets, shouldn't your focus be a veterinary healthcare agenda, Mr. Trumpster? |
1.1864 |
0.05657 |
59 |
49 |
9 |
1 |
2311 |
Bring me Hasenpfeffer! |
1.1864 |
0.05114 |
59 |
48 |
11 |
0 |
2312 |
Things were going so well until he said "You're Fired." |
1.1864 |
0.06609 |
59 |
51 |
5 |
3 |
2313 |
Yes, eating that margarine will put a crown on your head, but it will also make you very fat. |
1.1860 |
0.06865 |
43 |
36 |
6 |
1 |
2314 |
We never should have switched to wet food... |
1.1852 |
0.07031 |
54 |
47 |
4 |
3 |
2315 |
Who knew that ruling a Kingdom could be so complicated? |
1.1852 |
0.07031 |
54 |
47 |
4 |
3 |
2316 |
I guess ruling this house is a lot of work. |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2317 |
If you grant us permission to have a child, please lick your right forepaw. |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2318 |
Felix found out he had been surgically altered before he became of age. |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2319 |
What a terrible era in which idiots govern the cat. |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2320 |
Before I met you, I kissed a frog. This is the prince I got. |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2321 |
He prefers Mousse to Mice! |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2322 |
I'm starting to question your theories about the line of succession. |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2323 |
How many YouTube views? |
1.1852 |
0.07511 |
54 |
48 |
2 |
4 |
2324 |
We shouldn't have let him watch Trump on TV yesterday. |
1.1852 |
0.07031 |
54 |
47 |
4 |
3 |
2325 |
Maybe we should have had that baby. |
1.1852 |
0.05336 |
54 |
44 |
10 |
0 |
2326 |
I told you MrWhiskers was a weak password for the HBO |
1.1852 |
0.07511 |
54 |
48 |
2 |
4 |
2327 |
I think that just about says it all. |
1.1852 |
0.07031 |
54 |
47 |
4 |
3 |
2328 |
Do you think we spoil the cat? |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2329 |
Yet another pretentious cat! |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2330 |
Well perhaps if we moved her litter box closer to the throne. |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2331 |
Most cats would be satisfied just having their picture posted on Facebook. |
1.1852 |
0.05336 |
54 |
44 |
10 |
0 |
2332 |
Ok this proves it; he does rule our house. |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2333 |
I thought his "throne" was the litter box in the bathroom. |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2334 |
Do you think we might have over pampered him |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2335 |
Ok, now that we've all calmed down a bit, let's try to figure out why Mr.Peepers may have flown away...... |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2336 |
Honey, Lion King is just "Make Believe" |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2337 |
In retrospect, I think I'm a dog person. |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2338 |
so you don't need to feel threatened that you're going to have a baby brother. |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2339 |
The breeder said she was a queen, but I thought he just meant she hadn't been fixed. |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2340 |
But there are so many adorable heirs at the shelter who need a home. |
1.1852 |
0.06515 |
54 |
46 |
6 |
2 |
2341 |
Thanks Obama |
1.1852 |
0.05955 |
54 |
45 |
8 |
1 |
2342 |
We're thinking about selling the house. |
1.1831 |
0.04623 |
71 |
58 |
13 |
0 |
2343 |
The dogs have been taken care of, your highness. |
1.1818 |
0.06404 |
55 |
47 |
6 |
2 |
2344 |
I was so sure that our video would go viral that I forgot his scepter. |
1.1818 |
0.06910 |
55 |
48 |
4 |
3 |
2345 |
I'm sorry, but I just don't think this will be the right answer to our rat problem. |
1.1818 |
0.05855 |
55 |
46 |
8 |
1 |
2346 |
We need to talk about the litter throne, King Mittens. |
1.1818 |
0.06910 |
55 |
48 |
4 |
3 |
2347 |
Sorry, Boots. CASH is king. |
1.1818 |
0.05855 |
55 |
46 |
8 |
1 |
2348 |
A new Chief of Staff is in... |
1.1818 |
0.05855 |
55 |
46 |
8 |
1 |
2349 |
This is what always happens to the Prince of Tails when the old Queen won't abdicate. |
1.1818 |
0.05855 |
55 |
46 |
8 |
1 |
2350 |
She's binge watching The Crown this week. |
1.1818 |
0.05855 |
55 |
46 |
8 |
1 |
2351 |
Do you think this might be a good time to ask for a raise? |
1.1818 |
0.05855 |
55 |
46 |
8 |
1 |
2352 |
Maybe you'd like to go out and grab a little pussy! |
1.1818 |
0.06910 |
55 |
48 |
4 |
3 |
2353 |
It sure is tough when you are a fat cat and encounter a top dog! |
1.1818 |
0.05855 |
55 |
46 |
8 |
1 |
2354 |
We're sorry. Only humans can have superiority complexes. |
1.1818 |
0.06404 |
55 |
47 |
6 |
2 |
2355 |
Let's call her 'Ivanka.' |
1.1818 |
0.06910 |
55 |
48 |
4 |
3 |
2356 |
Was that belly scratch satisfactory? |
1.1818 |
0.06404 |
55 |
47 |
6 |
2 |
2357 |
Kings don't sit like that. How do we know you're telling us the truth? |
1.1806 |
0.05708 |
72 |
62 |
7 |
3 |
2358 |
He's been like this since the Miceacarta was signed |
1.1803 |
0.05486 |
61 |
51 |
9 |
1 |
2359 |
I think he has seen Lion King one too many times... |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
2360 |
No, the Napoleon Complex is a thing |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
2361 |
Uneasy lies the head... |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
2362 |
He's been watching too much Fox News. |
1.1786 |
0.06297 |
56 |
48 |
6 |
2 |
2363 |
The kingdom next door says you may have some heirs. |
1.1786 |
0.05759 |
56 |
47 |
8 |
1 |
2364 |
We shouldn't have named him Cole. |
1.1786 |
0.05759 |
56 |
47 |
8 |
1 |
2365 |
He thinks he's entitled on an evolutionary basis. |
1.1786 |
0.06297 |
56 |
48 |
6 |
2 |
2366 |
You know, maybe we should have a kid after all. |
1.1786 |
0.06297 |
56 |
48 |
6 |
2 |
2367 |
It's good to be king---meow......... |
1.1786 |
0.06793 |
56 |
49 |
4 |
3 |
2368 |
Clever idea, hon, but he still needs cat litter. |
1.1786 |
0.06793 |
56 |
49 |
4 |
3 |
2369 |
His shit still stinks, you know. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2370 |
We warned you that heavy is the head that wears the crown. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2371 |
Don't be angry, I promise we will get the Royal Treats tomorrow! |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2372 |
This has gotten out of hand. The vet warned us about spoiling Rex and what it would lead to. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2373 |
I told you we should have gotten him neutered. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2374 |
No. It's King of the Jungle. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2375 |
We should do something about our reaction to her personality. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2376 |
I hate to bring you bad news, sir. But, it's time to get neutered. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2377 |
Its all just a bit much |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2378 |
You love her more than me, Hal. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2379 |
He's been like this since we switched to Royal Canin Cat Food. He just lies around, dressed in this ridiculous get up, and he insists that I test his food. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2380 |
I'm afraid he over indulged at the coronation celebration |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2381 |
Well Ken, I suppose you have proven yourself to be quite purr-suasive |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2382 |
We, too, are happy that your outer cat matches your inner cat. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2383 |
Honey, you don't think we're spoiling him, do you? |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2384 |
You do realize we can't afford kids now. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2385 |
The Emperor has no kitty litter |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2386 |
He really didn't need all the trappings to prove hos point. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2387 |
I knew he wouldn't be happy being King. He wants to be the Supreme Being! |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2388 |
So your audition for "Game of Thrones" went bad, there's always commercials. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2389 |
OK, Trixie, we've met all your demands. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2390 |
Lets name him Joffrey, you said. It will be cute, you said. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2391 |
There, there kitty. Who knew ruling could be so complicated? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2392 |
It's time we told you what happens to Joffrey. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2393 |
Yes Felix he does have the same hair colour as you and yes he is the President. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2394 |
Well, yes. Being a god would be a little better than being a king. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2395 |
Rex is very literal. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2396 |
Mr. Whiskers, it's time to discuss curtailing some of your spending habits. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2397 |
I'm glad we decided not to have children |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2398 |
We should have been dog people. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2399 |
Stop feeding his delusions of grandeur dear. Bad enough we've got a president who thinks he's king. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2400 |
He's a real cat's cat. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2401 |
First of all, this isn't the Jungle. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2402 |
He requests that you make him laugh. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2403 |
Would it be okay if we had a child? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2404 |
We're not tasting your food. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2405 |
His name is Duke, and he will be staying with us for a while... |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2406 |
He thinks he's the cat's meow. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2407 |
Do you think Mr. Kibbles is watching too much Game of Thrones? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2408 |
Remind me again why we shouldn't have kids. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2409 |
Sorry Your Majesty but you can't have a chocolate souffle - you're a carnivore. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2410 |
We should have never named him "Majesty". |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2411 |
I told you we shouldn't have bought him the throne. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2412 |
Don't let that one mouse you caught go to your head. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2413 |
He's docile now, but you should see what happens when I turn off Fox News. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2414 |
Yes, Your Majkitty. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2415 |
...and that's why we named you "Ennui". |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2416 |
Whose idea was the crown? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2417 |
Just tell us why you banished the owl. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2418 |
Too much googling again. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2419 |
Lord Biggelsworth has informed me we'll be sleeping on the cat bed tonight. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2420 |
Your Highness, why don't you try an energy drink. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2421 |
We can't agree who gets you in the divorce so we are making you part of the home sale. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2422 |
For the last time, we're not going to get you a mouse, and we're not your subjects. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2423 |
Ok, we promise. In your next life the dogs will lose. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2424 |
So, it's not the jungle. But it is all you survey. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2425 |
So . . . we're changing your name. We think we made a mistake naming you "Rex". |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2426 |
Absolute cat power corrupts absolutely |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2427 |
We agree to serve you but we draw the line at 'royal tasters.' |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2428 |
Would you like some milk to go with your caviar? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2429 |
He's a terrible king. But he's just so cute. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2430 |
Well, at least you're one up on Prince Charles. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2431 |
We switched to canned food. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2432 |
Buying her that crown was a catastrophe! |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2433 |
King Catzilla's reign will end soon. He's on his ninth life. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2434 |
I'm disapointed, it still smells like a litter box. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2435 |
It's your fault. You named him Trump. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2436 |
What is it we can do to live up to your unrealistic expectations? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2437 |
His Majesty's Loyal Subjects make The Humble Request to tell us what flavor cat food you'll agree to eat! |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2438 |
Who knew ruling could be so hard? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2439 |
Loyal subjects? Realm of your kingdom? No, your owners, our living room, and end to your game of throne. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2440 |
It all began when he decided to make the dining area great again. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2441 |
Well duh, I see the resemblance, I just think in 10 years we'll be sorry if we name him Trump |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2442 |
He just walked in, sat down, and hasn't said a thing for hours. I hope he's okay. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2443 |
Let's have children and re-align our priorities. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2444 |
THAT'S the new king of the beasts? |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2445 |
This is how he gets when he is about to issue a decree. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2446 |
There was no easy way for us to say that you were adopted. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2447 |
Let's call him Senator |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2448 |
No, we won't bring the litter box "directly to the throne as needed." |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2449 |
Humans always need so much attention. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2450 |
But he's already president. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2451 |
Is our little King of the Beasts glum this morning? |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2452 |
He began acting this way about the time the dog disappeared. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2453 |
Would you consider a constitutional monarchy at the very least? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2454 |
You're not a king and this is not the jungle. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2455 |
Kings don't eat catnip to excess. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2456 |
I told you Trump was a poor choice of name. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2457 |
We're quite aware that you're not our best friend, Sire. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2458 |
It appears the sickly King Snowball VIII will soon become King Snowball IX. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2459 |
Okay fine, maybe I did mother him too much. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2460 |
I know the divorce has been tough on you, but let's hear what Sprinkles has to say. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2461 |
We told you to go easy on the catnip. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2462 |
We wanted you to be old enough, so that you could understand. Henry, you were adopted. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2463 |
I think we should cancel her subscription to "Human Psychology". |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2464 |
Will his Majesty at least chase a few mice? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2465 |
King of the Hill? Nope, Duke of the Dumpster. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2466 |
We're saving the furniture. If it never reigns, it paws. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2467 |
He even told me I wasn't worthy of wet food. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2468 |
At least the dog won the popular vote. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2469 |
Yes, you're the king! But no one is losing their head! |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2470 |
I wonder what the cat is thinking tonight. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2471 |
Well, if you're going to take it like that, maybe you shouldn't be watching Game of Thrones. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2472 |
Listen up......We're going to stop buying your damned boots. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2473 |
We should try making him feel relevant again. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2474 |
You know,I'm thinking maybe I would like to get pregnant. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2475 |
Do you think the Vet is right when he says we're enabling hum? |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2476 |
He says 'Fritzie' is all over, and from now on, it's 'Cat King Cole.' |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2477 |
Looks like you had a full day. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2478 |
It was a mistake letting him watch that Lion King DVD. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2479 |
Queen for a Day obviously isn't working. Let's try Make a Deal. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2480 |
Yes, it's true. You were adopted. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2481 |
Has anyone even talked to the dog about all of this? |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2482 |
Love it |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2483 |
The kitty litter has been replaced with gold dust as you requested, your Highness. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2484 |
He logged on to ancestor.com and found out that he comes from royalty. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2485 |
Shouldn't we get her a bigger throne? After all, that was the biggest New York Rat I've ever seen and we live next to Trump Tower. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2486 |
She's pondering abdication |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2487 |
OK ... a purple velvet scratching post is going too far! |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2488 |
Is this what they mean by 'Wag the dog?' |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2489 |
Bob and I are getting a dog - for us |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2490 |
As first Valet de Chambre, you get to clean his litter box. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2491 |
At least it has kept him off the couch. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2492 |
I guess, like Donald Trump, he found being a monarch is not so easy |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2493 |
Catpeople are still people, Snuggles. And we demand certain liberties. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2494 |
Your faithful subjects are here, you majesty. What is your bidding? |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2495 |
I'm sure the Lannisters will be delighted to hear news of your allegiance. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2496 |
He's hoping to get the White House gig |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2497 |
You'll always be our little prince, but we're getting a divorce. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2498 |
You're old enough now to know the truth. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2499 |
You actually told people he has no clothes? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2500 |
I think he's depressed about the political situation. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2501 |
Ok honey...I think the catnip is kicking in! |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2502 |
Sorry, your majesty, but neutering just can't be reversed. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2503 |
I know, I know, we voted for Trump too. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2504 |
Maybe if you tried to just talk to him, I mean really talk. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2505 |
Well..he did say the fat cats were taking over. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2506 |
Let's call him Donald. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2507 |
I know its not Westeros, but the Upper West Side isn't bad. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2508 |
When you come from a shelter, you can't have heirs. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2509 |
I know it's deflating when your subjects ignore you, but you'll always be king in our house. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2510 |
Are you sure he is supposed to behave like this? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2511 |
I love Leo, but I think the "King of the Beasts" should be significantly larger. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2512 |
It looks like he has become tired of being the King. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2513 |
The dog will no longer be a problem; we are still working on the child |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2514 |
It's your fault for naming him Rex. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2515 |
He's been like this ever since the presidential inauguration. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2516 |
maybe he needs a queen. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2517 |
At least he can't tweet! |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2518 |
The vet said feline insecurity cases were rare but this should help. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2519 |
It's simple really. He's demanding a loyalty oath or security will escort you out. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2520 |
Dr. he felt invincible and then called the New Yorker |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2521 |
I think we should just have a kid. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2522 |
Please try to understand. We loved your gift, but that chipmunk's innards were starting to smell. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2523 |
If it pleases your majesty, dinner will be served after the cleaning of the royal poo box and the removal of the hairballs from the red carpet. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2524 |
We can’t leave the TV on these 24 hour news channels anymore when we leave. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2525 |
No, I think Edward needs to hear this as this concerns him. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2526 |
It's really O.K. you're a cat, not a lion. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2527 |
You have to accept that Game of Thrones is just a TV show. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2528 |
We need help. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2529 |
Neither one of us thinks the robe makes you look fat. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2530 |
For a moment I thought it was a toad stool. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2531 |
He's left us no options, we have to stage a coup. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2532 |
We decided to enforce a tuna ban. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2533 |
He wants a Twitter account. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2534 |
We should have neutered him when we had the chance. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2535 |
The taxidermist did a wonderful job with Prince. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2536 |
He is still a bit depressed, should we get him a taller chair? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2537 |
It's still a jungle, just urban. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2538 |
Kids would be easier. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2539 |
How will you solve this problem with North Korea? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2540 |
It's time for your highness' pill. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2541 |
He saw your Ancestry report. He knows you're Egyptian. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2542 |
Let's name her 'Catleesi, Queen of Felines, Ruler of Mice.' |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2543 |
So you are changing your name to Cat King Cole? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2544 |
The catbird seat isn't always what it's cracked up to be. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2545 |
This is just to remind us that it really is all about him. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2546 |
This is what we get for letting him watch Garfield. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2547 |
It could be worse, he could think he's President of the United States. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2548 |
I thought we were training him to use the porcelain throne. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2549 |
You know, it's not a crime to abdicate. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2550 |
Guess we need to brush up on our parenting skills! |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2551 |
We feel you need more work as our Emotional Support Cat. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2552 |
He demands our loyalty. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2553 |
I still don't get why they call me the cat lady. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2554 |
Please sire, return his tongue. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2555 |
We've given you what you wanted; now what can you do for us? |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2556 |
He just binge-watched Game of Thrones. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2557 |
I believe he wants a Fancy Feast. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2558 |
Who's going to tell him, you or me? |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2559 |
Now get the nail clipper. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2560 |
Heavy is the meow that wears the crown. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2561 |
And when you grow up, you can be King of all the jungle. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2562 |
Okay, but no more sushi. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2563 |
And I want Trump in big gold letters on the outside of my litter box. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2564 |
I blame false praise. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2565 |
'Our catnip source left town, can we interest you in never frozen Alaskan salmon?' |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2566 |
We really are getting a dog. That isn't fake news. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2567 |
Still less work than a baby... |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2568 |
I know he is a dictator, but he is a benevolent dictator. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2569 |
We hate to tell you this, but it was a fake mouse. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2570 |
There's been a coup de cat. Hand over the crown. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2571 |
And we would like you to be more accurate when using the Royal Litter Box. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2572 |
Maybe we're dog people? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2573 |
Now, this throne feels purrfect. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2574 |
I just figured we might as well embrace it. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2575 |
We’re all here together because we want you to accept our help, your highness. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2576 |
Has he always reacted to Fancy Feast in this manner? |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2577 |
You give them everything and they're still not satisfied... |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2578 |
After she gives birth, determining succession will not be easy. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2579 |
Who knew? A eunuch king. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2580 |
Hey , what can we do to cheer up our dear leader?...do you think a new pussy will do? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2581 |
Maybe we're spoiling him? |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2582 |
Do you think a scepter will make him sit properly? |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2583 |
There's no easy way to tell you, I'm pregnant... |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2584 |
We concede. You do rule the roost! |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2585 |
Maybe the king is never wrong, but at least the king uses the litter box. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2586 |
It's about that stupid box. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2587 |
I call him "King of the Studio Apartment in a 5th Floor Walk Up in a Concrete Jungle." |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2588 |
"Gay Paree"? They stole my boots at the airport! |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2589 |
Clearly your king of the castle was never mentioned in your profile. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2590 |
Honey, I think you've misconstrued some of my dirty talk. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2591 |
So Maestro, you are the cat that ate the rat, somehow I thought you would not let it go to your head ! |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2592 |
Tough day, Princess? |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2593 |
We're having a baby so we'll be needing that crown back. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2594 |
Company's coming, Your Highness. We need you to go incognito for the afternoon. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2595 |
Dad, I really don't think we should name him Napoleon. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2596 |
Sorry I was catty this morning, Your Grace. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2597 |
It's just easier this way. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2598 |
What do mean "Royal Canin"is just a marketing brand? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2599 |
I know what's the problem, Lovey. The crown's too heavy, isn't it? |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2600 |
It would be half so bad if she'd just acknowledge us once in a while. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2601 |
Don't you this he's taking this "Emperor's New Clothes" thing a bit too far? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2602 |
Maybe we should have sent the taxidermist a better picture. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2603 |
I know cats rule the house but this is ridiculous! |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2604 |
He's been like this ever since the dog died. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2605 |
He wants to go back to the alley. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2606 |
Honey, I thought you locked the liquor cabinet. You know what happens His Majesty mixes his catnip with the bourbon. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2607 |
I know the doctor said to get a service pet, but I'm not sure this is working. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2608 |
The taxidermist I took him to is a big Game of Thrones fan. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2609 |
Checkmate. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2610 |
not so lonely at top |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2611 |
As King of the Urban Jungle, I want salmon, toast crusts and tuna for brunch, and I want it NOW. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2612 |
Don't blame me -- you're the one who gave him a complex! |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2613 |
I knew I shouldn't have eaten the entire four-and-twenty blackbird pie... |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2614 |
Your Highness, the pugs are planning a coup. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2615 |
....I think she looks more like a 'Hillary' |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2616 |
I'm not feeling it |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2617 |
No, we can't keep farm animals in the basement just so you can have fresh food. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2618 |
But John, we control the popular vote. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2619 |
When he arrived, he said he was not a politician |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2620 |
Just because we call you Queenie does not mean you can order us to carry you to the litter box. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2621 |
We need to talk about your YouTube channel. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2622 |
We're happy the mouse is gone, but did you have to behead it? |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2623 |
His other throne is a sandbox. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2624 |
We named you King, but we almost named you Cuddles. Remember that. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2625 |
Of course, sweetie,all cats use the "royal we" and expect to be served. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2626 |
But is it 'his' or 'her' royal highness? |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2627 |
We never should never have taken him to The Lion King. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2628 |
I'm not sure that he's any happier, but he sure seems to have made it clear that we are his loyal subjects. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2629 |
Would that be a beck or a call! |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2630 |
So the domain name, King Tabby, is taken. You'll come up with an even better one. |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
2631 |
Yes, your ancestors were kings of the jungle, but this is the 'burbs'. |
1.1765 |
0.06075 |
51 |
43 |
7 |
1 |
2632 |
I guess those cat food commercials are real. |
1.1765 |
0.05391 |
51 |
42 |
9 |
0 |
2633 |
I don't care how many mice you've caught. We are not launching an assassination attempt against the neighbors' dog. |
1.1765 |
0.07252 |
51 |
45 |
3 |
3 |
2634 |
After King Cole is done with his pipe, you know not to completely fill his bowl! Did you forget? No..., that's why the Pink Floyd and not the Fiddlers Three. |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2635 |
She had 7 kittens. One of them must be a male! |
1.1731 |
0.07120 |
52 |
46 |
3 |
3 |
2636 |
We understand it's "good to be the cat," but you still have to use the litter box. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2637 |
Remember . . . it all started a year ago with that fancy collar, and now we're having to get her freakin' sand from the beach at Monte Carlo. Yes, I think you could definitely say we've spoiled her! |
1.1731 |
0.05297 |
52 |
43 |
9 |
0 |
2638 |
Next time let’s just go with a nice urn. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2639 |
Mommy and daddy are very disappointed in your behavior. Eating Timmy's hamster is a big no thank you. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2640 |
Sire, the royal litter box is ready. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2641 |
What if Allen sautes my heart with diced liver and serves it glazed with a light cream sauce? Would that make you happy? |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2642 |
Don't worry, Princess. He won't try to grab my pussy. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2643 |
Maybe your abdication was a bit hasty,you have three more lives left at least. |
1.1731 |
0.07120 |
52 |
46 |
3 |
3 |
2644 |
this came free with the new TV |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2645 |
I wish you treated me the same way. |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2646 |
Since you're not willing to relocate to an actual jungle, I'm afraid King of the Co-op will just have to do. |
1.1731 |
0.05297 |
52 |
43 |
9 |
0 |
2647 |
Its just that your pomposity wears us down |
1.1731 |
0.05297 |
52 |
43 |
9 |
0 |
2648 |
You've changed after hitting one million followers, Pumpkin. |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2649 |
Yep, I think he's ready. Now we just have to wait 'til the 2020 election. |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2650 |
...you wanted the sex change and got it, now you can't continue wearing the Queen's crown, you're confusing the children. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2651 |
I know you're bored, but vanquishing the schnauzer in 3C is ill-advised at this time. |
1.1731 |
0.05297 |
52 |
43 |
9 |
0 |
2652 |
Are you still absolutely one-hundred percent positive that you want to get a dog? |
1.1731 |
0.05297 |
52 |
43 |
9 |
0 |
2653 |
You're the one who insisted on Fancy Feast. |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2654 |
Your name is "Roy," not "Roi." |
1.1731 |
0.05297 |
52 |
43 |
9 |
0 |
2655 |
You know what they say... Curiosity killed the humans. |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2656 |
Just so we're clear - there will be no princes or princesses. |
1.1731 |
0.05297 |
52 |
43 |
9 |
0 |
2657 |
He's a hairless cat! You should never have told him the story of the emperor who had no clothes! |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2658 |
Dave, scratch my belly. Marilyn, collect the taxes. |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2659 |
In retrospect, we probably shouldn't have given him bottled water. |
1.1731 |
0.07120 |
52 |
46 |
3 |
3 |
2660 |
Maybe we spoil her. |
1.1731 |
0.05297 |
52 |
43 |
9 |
0 |
2661 |
He seems to be getting worse since he's been in therapy. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2662 |
" I'm running low on catnip " ! |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2663 |
You said this would just be a phase. |
1.1731 |
0.05297 |
52 |
43 |
9 |
0 |
2664 |
It was indeed a tough pageant win! |
1.1731 |
0.07120 |
52 |
46 |
3 |
3 |
2665 |
I think she's having one of her First World problems again. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2666 |
Cats don't have owners, they have subjects! |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2667 |
You know they really are regal animals. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2668 |
She's gotten everything she's ever wanted, but I draw the line at naming her top dog. |
1.1731 |
0.05967 |
52 |
44 |
7 |
1 |
2669 |
We still have eight lives to go. |
1.1731 |
0.06569 |
52 |
45 |
5 |
2 |
2670 |
Stop taking my dirty talk literally. |
1.1724 |
0.05575 |
58 |
49 |
8 |
1 |
2671 |
Sorry, Queen Tabby, you'll have to remove the cape in order to use that potty chair. |
1.1724 |
0.05575 |
58 |
49 |
8 |
1 |
2672 |
Cat fights are serious. In our eyes, you won. |
1.1714 |
0.05373 |
70 |
60 |
8 |
2 |
2673 |
I know you don't want to hear this, but it's entirely possible that in your next life you'll be the mouse. |
1.1698 |
0.05862 |
53 |
45 |
7 |
1 |
2674 |
He not really a king. He just acts like one. |
1.1698 |
0.05862 |
53 |
45 |
7 |
1 |
2675 |
Maybe he'll act more royal as time goes on. |
1.1698 |
0.06452 |
53 |
46 |
5 |
2 |
2676 |
He just hasn't been the same since the mice democratized. |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2677 |
Did you remember to change his highness' chamber pot? |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2678 |
Your Majesty, your Royal Litter Box is ready. |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2679 |
Go get the court jester. |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2680 |
Oh, Jared; I had no idea how hard it was to be king! |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2681 |
I still think that Rex is a dog's name |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2682 |
He thinks he's Donald Trump |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2683 |
Yes, but were going to empty your litter box anyway. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2684 |
I don't care, this is not better than having kids. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2685 |
I say no more of that roasted swan with savory greens. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2686 |
But you went as a pirate last year! |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2687 |
Phil, I think we need an intervention for Mr. Furry Pants. |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2688 |
Your Highness, your royal kitty litter is ready. |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2689 |
I don't like cats and now I know why. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2690 |
It's time for the royal de-worming. |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2691 |
"And you want us to have kids"? |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2692 |
Kings roar - that was a meow. You're a CAT! |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2693 |
I told you not to give him so much Fancy Feast. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2694 |
Can we ever be more than servants, Your Highness? |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2695 |
Cheer up, after The Orange One you'll reign again. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2696 |
All he really wanted was a catnip mouse. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2697 |
"I think we need to call Animal Planet"! |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2698 |
Pipe, bowl, fiddlers three and still a sense of ennui. |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2699 |
Even the queen of England would lack dignity with this pose. |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2700 |
This "high and mighty" attitude has gone too far. |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2701 |
Don't worry, Jingles, having to poop in a box doesn't make you any less of a king. |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2702 |
I never thought I'd go along with this crazy taxidermy idea of yours, but it really does feel like Squeezles is still with us! |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2703 |
You may polish my crown and you may clean the royal box. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2704 |
You fixed me so I can't make an heir, so no children for you. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2705 |
So you think that your king for a day? |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2706 |
So Pussycat, Pussycat I guess you did more than just look at the Queen |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2707 |
I guess there are some jewels you just can't replace. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2708 |
You shouldn't have given him that last daiquiri |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2709 |
Do you think we need to take away his catnip? |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2710 |
His weight has finally justified the royal plural. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2711 |
OK we are totally listening to you. So how does it feel ruling the World ? |
1.1667 |
0.06339 |
54 |
47 |
5 |
2 |
2712 |
He's discovered that the seat of power isn't an Easy Chair! |
1.1667 |
0.04852 |
60 |
50 |
10 |
0 |
2713 |
I forgot to turn of National Geographic when I left this morning |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2714 |
Do you think we're treating him too much like royalty? |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2715 |
He wants gold litter. |
1.1667 |
0.07493 |
48 |
43 |
2 |
3 |
2716 |
It's time for a dog. |
1.1667 |
0.07493 |
48 |
43 |
2 |
3 |
2717 |
We know. You ate the whole Whopper. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2718 |
I'm not sold on the name The Donald. |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2719 |
How could you have put catnip on my favorite pillow? |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2720 |
I am going to ask you one more time, when do you last see the puppy? |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2721 |
I'm guessing he's been binge watching while we're out. |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2722 |
But cats don't have a President. |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2723 |
I have to admit we have a lot more fun now that he's dead. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2724 |
Yes, we do think you're royalty. But Rex and King are dogs' names. |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2725 |
We shouldn't have named him Rex. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2726 |
Let's stop letting him watch cable news unsupervised. |
1.1667 |
0.06876 |
48 |
42 |
4 |
2 |
2727 |
I told you the cat has an attitude! |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2728 |
Shouldn't we run the family meetings? |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2729 |
'Honey, you have to tell him. He's not the king of the jungle.' |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2730 |
He's a little more benevolent now that he's older. |
1.1667 |
0.05436 |
48 |
40 |
8 |
0 |
2731 |
Despite this constant negative puss, catfefe. |
1.1667 |
0.06198 |
48 |
41 |
6 |
1 |
2732 |
Your grace, please regale us of your laser pointer conquests once more. |
1.1639 |
0.05811 |
61 |
53 |
6 |
2 |
2733 |
Always remember...cats rule! |
1.1636 |
0.05664 |
55 |
47 |
7 |
1 |
2734 |
Now do you see we know our place? |
1.1636 |
0.06230 |
55 |
48 |
5 |
2 |
2735 |
And the gerbil could be his jester... |
1.1 |