Rank |
Caption |
Mean |
Precision |
Total votes |
"Unfunny" votes |
"Somewhat funny" votes |
"Funny" votes |
0 |
Like you've never taken anything from a hotel room. |
1.9415 |
0.02352 |
1197 |
433 |
401 |
363 |
1 |
Like I'm the first person who's tried sleeping their way to the top. |
1.9188 |
0.01466 |
2943 |
1060 |
1062 |
821 |
2 |
And yet you embraced the standing desk. |
1.8616 |
0.01664 |
2160 |
816 |
827 |
517 |
3 |
Then quit making the meetings so early. |
1.8240 |
0.01640 |
2085 |
800 |
852 |
433 |
4 |
It's called a Murphy desk. |
1.7955 |
0.01619 |
2318 |
989 |
814 |
515 |
5 |
The doctor said, 'stay in bed,' he didn't say, 'don't go to work.' |
1.7743 |
0.01986 |
1409 |
586 |
555 |
268 |
6 |
What can I say, I'm good in bed. |
1.7687 |
0.02574 |
977 |
455 |
293 |
229 |
7 |
I'm not going to take this lying down |
1.7526 |
0.05617 |
194 |
89 |
64 |
41 |
8 |
Are you in my dream, or am I in your office? |
1.7375 |
0.01801 |
1886 |
889 |
603 |
394 |
9 |
Yes, I can literally do this job in my sleep. |
1.7165 |
0.02057 |
1284 |
582 |
484 |
218 |
10 |
I misunderstood BYOB. |
1.7048 |
0.01868 |
1660 |
798 |
554 |
308 |
11 |
Sorry I'm late. I had trouble getting out of bed this morning. |
1.7010 |
0.01778 |
1813 |
871 |
613 |
329 |
12 |
This would be a completely different cartoon if I were a woman. |
1.6957 |
0.02138 |
1357 |
690 |
390 |
277 |
13 |
I told you I can do this job in my sleep. |
1.6956 |
0.01728 |
1751 |
805 |
674 |
272 |
14 |
You call this a Firm. |
1.6876 |
0.02226 |
1197 |
600 |
371 |
226 |
15 |
I'm working undercover. |
1.6836 |
0.02004 |
1362 |
656 |
481 |
225 |
16 |
So then she took out the superglue and I thought, "I don't like where this is headed." |
1.6427 |
0.02296 |
1097 |
583 |
323 |
191 |
17 |
Sorry I'm late. I had a little trouble getting out of bed. |
1.6306 |
0.02310 |
1026 |
540 |
325 |
161 |
18 |
I can't, I'm not wearing pants. |
1.6298 |
0.02127 |
1175 |
610 |
390 |
175 |
19 |
Combine Murphy's Law and a Murphy bed and you've pretty much got my morning. |
1.6095 |
0.02559 |
817 |
440 |
256 |
121 |
20 |
It came with a 30 day trial period and I intend to use every minute of it. |
1.6068 |
0.02603 |
740 |
388 |
255 |
97 |
21 |
If management wants to screw me, I might as well be comfortable. |
1.6058 |
0.02595 |
822 |
453 |
240 |
129 |
22 |
It's only awkward when my wife sleeps in. |
1.6050 |
0.02405 |
881 |
467 |
295 |
119 |
23 |
Let me sleep on it and I'll get back to you. |
1.6031 |
0.02358 |
897 |
472 |
309 |
116 |
24 |
Can you believe my doctor said I have to stay in bed? My commute was a nightmare! |
1.6000 |
0.02510 |
880 |
490 |
252 |
138 |
25 |
Oh, so now we're back to thinking inside the box? |
1.5904 |
0.02723 |
730 |
408 |
213 |
109 |
26 |
It's a conference call. No one will know. |
1.5894 |
0.03669 |
414 |
235 |
114 |
65 |
27 |
This is my dream job. |
1.5829 |
0.03955 |
350 |
199 |
98 |
53 |
28 |
It's my dream job. |
1.5677 |
0.02895 |
613 |
347 |
184 |
82 |
29 |
I'm still sleeping on it. |
1.5651 |
0.02846 |
614 |
344 |
193 |
77 |
30 |
Well you let Johnson have a standing desk. |
1.5649 |
0.02911 |
609 |
347 |
180 |
82 |
31 |
I'm ready to retire. |
1.5642 |
0.03376 |
553 |
347 |
100 |
106 |
32 |
Dammit Johnson! I said I was sick and staying in bed, not sick and staying home! |
1.5618 |
0.02831 |
591 |
326 |
198 |
67 |
33 |
I don’t lie. I stand uprightly for what I endorse. |
1.5590 |
0.03288 |
576 |
362 |
106 |
108 |
34 |
You act like I'm the first person to ever try to sleep their way to the top. |
1.5572 |
0.03106 |
533 |
307 |
155 |
71 |
35 |
The last thing I remember is taking an Ambien. |
1.5540 |
0.03133 |
509 |
291 |
154 |
64 |
36 |
Well if this isn't business casual, I don't know what is. |
1.5514 |
0.03085 |
506 |
286 |
161 |
59 |
37 |
I told you I would sleep on it. |
1.5465 |
0.02934 |
505 |
276 |
182 |
47 |
38 |
If need be, I'm ready to pull an all-nighter. |
1.5451 |
0.03014 |
499 |
278 |
170 |
51 |
39 |
It needs another strap and more Velcro. |
1.5430 |
0.03488 |
488 |
307 |
97 |
84 |
40 |
I AM up! |
1.5430 |
0.03159 |
488 |
281 |
149 |
58 |
41 |
I'm homing from work. |
1.5430 |
0.03289 |
488 |
291 |
129 |
68 |
42 |
Doesn't seem to bother you when you call me at three in the morning. |
1.5424 |
0.03334 |
472 |
281 |
126 |
65 |
43 |
You told me to dress for the job I want. |
1.5415 |
0.03740 |
386 |
233 |
97 |
56 |
44 |
I ran out of sick days. |
1.5405 |
0.03069 |
481 |
270 |
162 |
49 |
45 |
This is the work setting on my sleep number bed. |
1.5401 |
0.03215 |
474 |
275 |
142 |
57 |
46 |
Her lawyer was a lot better than mine. |
1.5376 |
0.03161 |
465 |
265 |
150 |
50 |
47 |
So then I think, "Early to bed, early to rise" - why not multitask that crap? |
1.5375 |
0.03308 |
467 |
277 |
129 |
61 |
48 |
"What gives you the impression that I'm too laid back? |
1.5366 |
0.04371 |
246 |
141 |
78 |
27 |
49 |
I get my best ideas in bed. |
1.5359 |
0.02960 |
459 |
248 |
176 |
35 |
50 |
Their offer was firm. |
1.5351 |
0.03282 |
456 |
267 |
134 |
55 |
51 |
Oh, like you've never run out of clean pants! |
1.5344 |
0.04195 |
320 |
199 |
71 |
50 |
52 |
Yeah well I billed 7 hours last night so who's ridiculous now? |
1.5335 |
0.03234 |
448 |
258 |
141 |
49 |
53 |
Well, I figure, if you can have a standing desk... |
1.5308 |
0.03268 |
439 |
254 |
137 |
48 |
54 |
I've found my work - life balance. |
1.5308 |
0.03268 |
439 |
254 |
137 |
48 |
55 |
For the last time, I will not share my spread sheets. |
1.5294 |
0.04675 |
238 |
144 |
62 |
32 |
56 |
It's called work-life balance, Doug. |
1.5280 |
0.03553 |
428 |
264 |
102 |
62 |
57 |
And just WHAT did the hotel CLAIM was stolen? |
1.5259 |
0.03522 |
405 |
243 |
111 |
51 |
58 |
Getting up in the morning when she was already up didn't work for her. |
1.5244 |
0.03894 |
410 |
271 |
63 |
76 |
59 |
I did NOT sleep my way to the top! |
1.5244 |
0.03722 |
410 |
260 |
85 |
65 |
60 |
What? It's casual Friday. |
1.5194 |
0.03772 |
360 |
220 |
93 |
47 |
61 |
She got the rest of the house. |
1.5190 |
0.03661 |
395 |
245 |
95 |
55 |
62 |
Make up your mind. Do you want me to put this deal to bed or not? |
1.5180 |
0.03565 |
388 |
234 |
107 |
47 |
63 |
This is how I'm able to bill for 90 hours per week. |
1.5180 |
0.03584 |
388 |
235 |
105 |
48 |
64 |
Am I the only one who knows what BYOB means?! |
1.5161 |
0.03560 |
372 |
221 |
110 |
41 |
65 |
OK, I'm ready for that dream assignment. |
1.5158 |
0.03425 |
380 |
221 |
122 |
37 |
66 |
Sometimes I work from home, sometimes I sleep from work. |
1.5134 |
0.03661 |
372 |
227 |
99 |
46 |
67 |
You didn't give Levy crap about his standing desk. |
1.5134 |
0.03586 |
374 |
225 |
106 |
43 |
68 |
It's called multitasking, Jim...I thought you'd be pleased. |
1.5121 |
0.03526 |
371 |
220 |
112 |
39 |
69 |
You said sleep on it. I'm not done. |
1.5070 |
0.03440 |
355 |
205 |
120 |
30 |
70 |
I'm Tim, the new embedded journalist. |
1.5062 |
0.08263 |
81 |
52 |
17 |
12 |
71 |
Fine, I'll consider this my wake-up call. |
1.5057 |
0.03598 |
352 |
210 |
106 |
36 |
72 |
I rest my case. |
1.5015 |
0.03900 |
337 |
212 |
81 |
44 |
73 |
My sleep number is 24/7. |
1.5015 |
0.03815 |
339 |
210 |
88 |
41 |
74 |
You're damn right I'm gonna sleep my way to the top! |
1.5015 |
0.03769 |
339 |
208 |
92 |
39 |
75 |
You can't welsh on the bet now, Dave; do you know how much I spent on Velcro alone? |
1.4985 |
0.04146 |
323 |
211 |
63 |
49 |
76 |
I couldn't get out of bed this morning. |
1.4969 |
0.03856 |
326 |
202 |
86 |
38 |
77 |
You power nap your way, Bob, and I'll power nap mine. |
1.4954 |
0.03782 |
323 |
197 |
92 |
34 |
78 |
Get ready for the longest filibuster in the history of Congress! |
1.4953 |
0.03943 |
319 |
200 |
80 |
39 |
79 |
Sorry I'm late. I couldn't get out of bed this morning. |
1.4937 |
0.04002 |
318 |
202 |
75 |
41 |
80 |
What gives you the idea that I’m sleeping on the job? |
1.4932 |
0.05466 |
148 |
89 |
45 |
14 |
81 |
Let's put this deal to bed. |
1.4931 |
0.05575 |
144 |
87 |
43 |
14 |
82 |
I did not sleep my way into this position. |
1.4925 |
0.06244 |
134 |
86 |
30 |
18 |
83 |
You schedule a meeting for 6 a.m., this is what you get! |
1.4902 |
0.03988 |
306 |
192 |
78 |
36 |
84 |
But this is all I could afford in Brooklyn . . . |
1.4848 |
0.04078 |
297 |
189 |
72 |
36 |
85 |
Make it quick. I have a 2 AM. |
1.4847 |
0.03897 |
295 |
181 |
85 |
29 |
86 |
The standing desk wasn't working for me. |
1.4806 |
0.04046 |
283 |
177 |
76 |
30 |
87 |
I'm working the night shift. |
1.4792 |
0.04173 |
240 |
145 |
75 |
20 |
88 |
Technically speaking, I'm NOT laying down on the job |
1.4765 |
0.04077 |
277 |
174 |
74 |
29 |
89 |
I'm an efficiency expert. Why? |
1.4745 |
0.04044 |
274 |
171 |
76 |
27 |
90 |
And where was the outrage over Alan's standing desk? |
1.4741 |
0.04316 |
270 |
176 |
60 |
34 |
91 |
Does this bed make me look tired? |
1.4737 |
0.04711 |
228 |
149 |
50 |
29 |
92 |
Why? All the guys at Fox have them. |
1.4721 |
0.04360 |
269 |
177 |
57 |
35 |
93 |
Even though I couldn't get out of bed this morning I came to work. |
1.4721 |
0.03925 |
269 |
164 |
83 |
22 |
94 |
I'm not taking this lying down! |
1.4697 |
0.04012 |
264 |
163 |
78 |
23 |
95 |
I'm sleeping my way to the top. |
1.4679 |
0.04650 |
218 |
140 |
54 |
24 |
96 |
They don't call it "the city that never sleeps" for no reason, Bob. |
1.4674 |
0.04007 |
261 |
161 |
78 |
22 |
97 |
I decided why not combine the places I get absolutely no support |
1.4672 |
0.04519 |
259 |
174 |
49 |
36 |
98 |
My doctor made me promise I would stay in bed. |
1.4669 |
0.04306 |
257 |
166 |
62 |
29 |
99 |
Because I’ve used up all my sick days! |
1.4648 |
0.04136 |
256 |
161 |
71 |
24 |
100 |
I'm John, the new embedded software engineer. |
1.4643 |
0.04510 |
252 |
168 |
51 |
33 |
101 |
It's the last time I'll use velcro sheets. |
1.4643 |
0.04749 |
252 |
175 |
37 |
40 |
102 |
Absolutely not! This is a single bed! |
1.4640 |
0.04283 |
250 |
160 |
64 |
26 |
103 |
I know Phil, no bottom sheet. Anything else you want to ding me for? |
1.4612 |
0.04307 |
245 |
157 |
63 |
25 |
104 |
Now I'm criticized for bringing my home to work with me? |
1.4564 |
0.04357 |
241 |
156 |
60 |
25 |
105 |
It’ll be the longest filibuster ever |
1.4554 |
0.04597 |
224 |
147 |
52 |
25 |
106 |
It’s all in the note from my doctor. |
1.4553 |
0.04559 |
235 |
156 |
51 |
28 |
107 |
I'm here, aren't I? |
1.4553 |
0.04598 |
235 |
157 |
49 |
29 |
108 |
London School of Ergonomics, top of my class! |
1.4549 |
0.04339 |
233 |
149 |
62 |
22 |
109 |
It's called a power nap for a reason, Johnson. |
1.4549 |
0.04253 |
233 |
147 |
66 |
20 |
110 |
No it's not Armani. It's Bed Bath and Beyond. |
1.4549 |
0.04588 |
233 |
155 |
50 |
28 |
111 |
I ran out of sick days. |
1.4522 |
0.04378 |
230 |
148 |
60 |
22 |
112 |
My commute was a nightmare!!! |
1.4518 |
0.04864 |
228 |
158 |
37 |
33 |
113 |
Really funny superglue prank, Frank. My worst presentation ever. |
1.4505 |
0.07034 |
91 |
59 |
23 |
9 |
114 |
I find it gives my sexist remarks a bit more innuendo. |
1.4468 |
0.05129 |
188 |
127 |
38 |
23 |
115 |
Your secretary suggested I get comfortable while I wait. |
1.4459 |
0.04397 |
222 |
143 |
59 |
20 |
116 |
You said the defense was resting today. |
1.4455 |
0.04518 |
220 |
144 |
54 |
22 |
117 |
Actually, the hardest part was getting through the turnstile! |
1.4450 |
0.04640 |
218 |
145 |
49 |
24 |
118 |
What makes you think I'm sleeping on the job? |
1.4444 |
0.04386 |
216 |
138 |
60 |
18 |
119 |
50k signing bonus, and a bed at your desk: welcome to Goldman Sachs. |
1.4444 |
0.04808 |
216 |
147 |
42 |
27 |
120 |
Asking her to have a meeting is not sexual harassment! |
1.4444 |
0.04717 |
216 |
145 |
46 |
25 |
121 |
I feel torn between lethargy and productivity. |
1.4422 |
0.04480 |
199 |
126 |
58 |
15 |
122 |
Yes I am wearing pants. |
1.4419 |
0.04592 |
215 |
142 |
51 |
22 |
123 |
Does it look like I'm sleeping on the job? |
1.4419 |
0.04545 |
215 |
141 |
53 |
21 |
124 |
When I say I'm 24/7, I'm 24/7. |
1.4408 |
0.04507 |
211 |
137 |
55 |
19 |
125 |
I overschlepped. |
1.4408 |
0.04406 |
211 |
135 |
59 |
17 |
126 |
I tried the standup desk but this just seemed a better fit. |
1.4406 |
0.04908 |
202 |
137 |
41 |
24 |
127 |
Since you decided to cancel Casual Friday, I decided to start Mattress Monday. |
1.4378 |
0.04770 |
201 |
134 |
46 |
21 |
128 |
Could you untuck me for the meeting? |
1.4363 |
0.04614 |
204 |
134 |
51 |
19 |
129 |
...and then I told the genie: 'I want to stay in bed forever.' |
1.4348 |
0.04514 |
207 |
135 |
54 |
18 |
130 |
I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation. |
1.4348 |
0.04301 |
207 |
131 |
62 |
14 |
131 |
Did you, or did you not, tell me to 'make myself at home', Mr. Brenner? |
1.4341 |
0.04888 |
182 |
120 |
45 |
17 |
132 |
Well what does business casual mean to you, Tom? |
1.4335 |
0.04885 |
203 |
139 |
40 |
24 |
133 |
I don't get out of bed for less than $100K |
1.4322 |
0.04906 |
199 |
136 |
40 |
23 |
134 |
You told me to get ready for an all-nighter. |
1.4286 |
0.04459 |
196 |
126 |
56 |
14 |
135 |
I needed a ride and accidentally keyed in "Ubed." |
1.4286 |
0.04798 |
196 |
132 |
44 |
20 |
136 |
Worst Airbnb ever! |
1.4271 |
0.04814 |
192 |
129 |
44 |
19 |
137 |
I'm on time, aren't I? |
1.4271 |
0.04699 |
192 |
127 |
48 |
17 |
138 |
It's my dream job. |
1.4241 |
0.04772 |
191 |
128 |
45 |
18 |
139 |
Yeah, well, narcolepsy isn't easy for me either! |
1.4233 |
0.04980 |
189 |
130 |
38 |
21 |
140 |
How was my day? I got short sheeted again at work. |
1.4225 |
0.04962 |
187 |
128 |
39 |
20 |
141 |
Before elite status I only had a neck pillow. |
1.4222 |
0.04917 |
180 |
121 |
42 |
17 |
142 |
I woke up like this. |
1.4186 |
0.05896 |
129 |
88 |
28 |
13 |
143 |
Yes, I'm THIS serious about putting the project to bed. |
1.4185 |
0.04649 |
184 |
121 |
49 |
14 |
144 |
What? I'm on time! |
1.4185 |
0.04958 |
184 |
126 |
39 |
19 |
145 |
I don't know what to tell you Bill......There is nothing in the company policy that says I can't "lay-up" on-the-job |
1.4176 |
0.05406 |
182 |
132 |
24 |
26 |
146 |
I was under cover, but I was made. |
1.4167 |
0.05098 |
180 |
125 |
35 |
20 |
147 |
I don't get out of bed for less than a million. |
1.4167 |
0.06893 |
96 |
66 |
20 |
10 |
148 |
Well, you also said the stand up desk wouldn't catch on. |
1.4167 |
0.04719 |
180 |
119 |
47 |
14 |
149 |
How's this for multitasking? |
1.4167 |
0.04653 |
180 |
118 |
49 |
13 |
150 |
The hardest part was getting on the escalator. |
1.4162 |
0.04988 |
173 |
117 |
40 |
16 |
151 |
Don't just stand there. Tuck me in. |
1.4157 |
0.05262 |
178 |
126 |
30 |
22 |
152 |
This isn't the kind of work-life balance I envisioned. |
1.4157 |
0.04550 |
178 |
115 |
52 |
11 |
153 |
My work-life boundaries seem increasingly blurred. |
1.4157 |
0.04887 |
178 |
120 |
42 |
16 |
154 |
They said I was "lying down on the job." Can you believe it? |
1.4124 |
0.04968 |
177 |
121 |
39 |
17 |
155 |
I'm not taking this lying down! |
1.4124 |
0.04837 |
177 |
119 |
43 |
15 |
156 |
But this is where I get all my best ideas. |
1.4114 |
0.04669 |
175 |
115 |
48 |
12 |
157 |
I don't think this is what they mean by work-life balance! |
1.4097 |
0.05435 |
144 |
98 |
33 |
13 |
158 |
I've been to bed, bath, and BEYOND. |
1.4094 |
0.05091 |
171 |
118 |
36 |
17 |
159 |
Hey, a billable hour is a billable hour. |
1.4094 |
0.04884 |
171 |
115 |
42 |
14 |
160 |
Don't call me Murphy! |
1.4094 |
0.05023 |
171 |
117 |
38 |
16 |
161 |
I'm homing from work. |
1.4094 |
0.04884 |
171 |
115 |
42 |
14 |
162 |
No, I don't think I'm taking casual Friday too far. |
1.4094 |
0.04518 |
171 |
110 |
52 |
9 |
163 |
Pull back the covers? I don't think you are ready for full transparency! |
1.4094 |
0.05290 |
171 |
121 |
30 |
20 |
164 |
It's a lot healthier than sitting behind a desk all day. |
1.4083 |
0.04852 |
169 |
113 |
43 |
13 |
165 |
My mother was a kangaroo |
1.4082 |
0.05354 |
147 |
100 |
34 |
13 |
166 |
I will not take this lying down. |
1.4048 |
0.05083 |
168 |
116 |
36 |
16 |
167 |
It's called multitasking, Jim. |
1.4036 |
0.05196 |
166 |
116 |
33 |
17 |
168 |
An affair at work. No, why do you ask? |
1.4036 |
0.04520 |
166 |
107 |
51 |
8 |
169 |
I'm just having a bad Velcro moment. |
1.4012 |
0.05969 |
162 |
124 |
11 |
27 |
170 |
Need to be prepared for when the lights dim and the Power Point presentation begins |
1.4000 |
0.05072 |
165 |
114 |
36 |
15 |
171 |
Isn't it obvious? I'm trying to sleep my way to the top. |
1.4000 |
0.05109 |
160 |
110 |
36 |
14 |
172 |
Its a 'reasonable accommodation' for my laziness. |
1.4000 |
0.05072 |
165 |
114 |
36 |
15 |
173 |
It's a "Murphy desk". |
1.4000 |
0.05031 |
160 |
109 |
38 |
13 |
174 |
I won't do your report until you tell me a story. |
1.4000 |
0.05424 |
165 |
119 |
26 |
20 |
175 |
She got the house and the dog. |
1.4000 |
0.04998 |
165 |
113 |
38 |
14 |
176 |
Uber merged with Serta. |
1.3972 |
0.05593 |
141 |
99 |
28 |
14 |
177 |
The boss tells me we'll be putting in an all-nighter. |
1.3962 |
0.04723 |
159 |
105 |
45 |
9 |
178 |
Welcome to our narcolepsy support group. |
1.3962 |
0.05049 |
159 |
109 |
37 |
13 |
179 |
And I don't care if it takes all night. |
1.3949 |
0.05328 |
157 |
111 |
30 |
16 |
180 |
Signed a lease for a mobile Manhattan studio and now I can't get out of it! |
1.3949 |
0.05328 |
157 |
111 |
30 |
16 |
181 |
Let me guess, you're laying me off? |
1.3949 |
0.05328 |
157 |
111 |
30 |
16 |
182 |
How's this for "work-life balance"? |
1.3949 |
0.05172 |
157 |
109 |
34 |
14 |
183 |
Because you gave me blanket authority. |
1.3949 |
0.05328 |
157 |
111 |
30 |
16 |
184 |
What?! You said I could work from the comfort of my own home! |
1.3910 |
0.04776 |
156 |
104 |
43 |
9 |
185 |
It's an alternate treatment for my narcolepsy. |
1.3910 |
0.04946 |
156 |
106 |
39 |
11 |
186 |
Again with the nap-shaming. |
1.3910 |
0.04946 |
156 |
106 |
39 |
11 |
187 |
First, you come out of the closet, then I come out of the bed. |
1.3907 |
0.04970 |
151 |
102 |
39 |
10 |
188 |
Of course I'm wearing pants. |
1.3907 |
0.05557 |
151 |
109 |
25 |
17 |
189 |
What's your problem? I'm vertical. I'm integrated. |
1.3907 |
0.04970 |
151 |
102 |
39 |
10 |
190 |
I stand with the firm. |
1.3907 |
0.05230 |
151 |
105 |
33 |
13 |
191 |
YOU'RE upset!? I just lost my teddy bear on the subway! |
1.3904 |
0.05444 |
146 |
103 |
29 |
14 |
192 |
I'm presenting my narcolepsy defense today. |
1.3867 |
0.05499 |
150 |
108 |
26 |
16 |
193 |
Then don't call it casual Friday! |
1.3867 |
0.05333 |
150 |
106 |
30 |
14 |
194 |
Dress for the job you want Thomas... |
1.3867 |
0.04986 |
150 |
102 |
38 |
10 |
195 |
You said it was a dream job. |
1.3867 |
0.04804 |
150 |
100 |
42 |
8 |
196 |
You've never heard of an embedded systems engineer? |
1.3867 |
0.05163 |
150 |
104 |
34 |
12 |
197 |
You said... be ready to go, first thing in the morning. |
1.3819 |
0.05215 |
144 |
100 |
33 |
11 |
198 |
You're damn right it's difficult navigating the turnstiles. |
1.3819 |
0.05398 |
144 |
102 |
29 |
13 |
199 |
Jon, why are you floating above me with your arms crossed? |
1.3819 |
0.05398 |
144 |
102 |
29 |
13 |
200 |
What!?!? I only have one carry-on!! |
1.3819 |
0.05575 |
144 |
104 |
25 |
15 |
201 |
What? It's casual Friday. |
1.3803 |
0.05541 |
142 |
102 |
26 |
14 |
202 |
Well does it look like I just rolled out of bed! |
1.3790 |
0.05562 |
124 |
86 |
29 |
9 |
203 |
I came as fast as I could |
1.3786 |
0.05313 |
140 |
98 |
31 |
11 |
204 |
Now do you believe I'm not in bed with the competition? |
1.3786 |
0.05596 |
140 |
101 |
25 |
14 |
205 |
I would tell you the story behind the bed, but it hasn't been made up yet. |
1.3786 |
0.05596 |
140 |
101 |
25 |
14 |
206 |
No, I'd be crazy if I got out of bed for what you're offering. |
1.3741 |
0.05618 |
139 |
101 |
24 |
14 |
207 |
I literally couldn't get out of bed. |
1.3741 |
0.05525 |
139 |
100 |
26 |
13 |
208 |
I couldn't find my pants. |
1.3741 |
0.05525 |
139 |
100 |
26 |
13 |
209 |
I'm telling you, power naps make me twice as effective. |
1.3741 |
0.05133 |
139 |
96 |
34 |
9 |
210 |
This was much easier when I worked from home |
1.3741 |
0.05031 |
139 |
95 |
36 |
8 |
211 |
YOU’RE the one who suggested that I sleep on it. |
1.3741 |
0.05133 |
139 |
96 |
34 |
9 |
212 |
So, are you going to the filibuster tonight? |
1.3741 |
0.05429 |
139 |
99 |
28 |
12 |
213 |
So, do you have something to fall back on? |
1.3741 |
0.05234 |
139 |
97 |
32 |
10 |
214 |
Do I look like I want to sleep on it? |
1.3741 |
0.05133 |
139 |
96 |
34 |
9 |
215 |
Oh yeah? Well, I'm not going to take this lying down! |
1.3741 |
0.05234 |
139 |
97 |
32 |
10 |
216 |
When home office said they would put me up for the night, I was thinking more like the Hilton. |
1.3741 |
0.05333 |
139 |
98 |
30 |
11 |
217 |
I told you I'd sleep on it. |
1.3741 |
0.05234 |
139 |
97 |
32 |
10 |
218 |
You said I should be prepared to serve our clients 24/7. |
1.3729 |
0.05489 |
118 |
81 |
30 |
7 |
219 |
You told me to follow my dreams. |
1.3723 |
0.04860 |
137 |
92 |
39 |
6 |
220 |
I was told to work on my bedside manner |
1.3723 |
0.05384 |
137 |
97 |
29 |
11 |
221 |
I'm standing and I can't lie down |
1.3723 |
0.05769 |
137 |
101 |
21 |
15 |
222 |
The doctor said complete bed rest, so take it or leave it. |
1.3723 |
0.04970 |
137 |
93 |
37 |
7 |
223 |
this 24/7 is getting out of hand ! |
1.3704 |
0.05830 |
135 |
100 |
20 |
15 |
224 |
'Rise, take up your bed , and walk.' John 5:8. |
1.3701 |
0.05788 |
127 |
92 |
23 |
12 |
225 |
I can't even be on my deathbed without being called in to the office! |
1.3684 |
0.05695 |
133 |
97 |
23 |
13 |
226 |
I may have made it but I don't have to lie in it. |
1.3680 |
0.05740 |
125 |
90 |
24 |
11 |
227 |
It's none of your business if I'm wearing pants. |
1.3664 |
0.05653 |
131 |
95 |
24 |
12 |
228 |
Since the election, I just feel better doing everything here. |
1.3664 |
0.05220 |
131 |
91 |
32 |
8 |
229 |
It's going to be even bigger than the tiny house movement. |
1.3664 |
0.05107 |
131 |
90 |
34 |
7 |
230 |
I'm going to sleep my way to the top. |
1.3664 |
0.05332 |
131 |
92 |
30 |
9 |
231 |
I took a taxi. Why? |
1.3664 |
0.05956 |
131 |
98 |
18 |
15 |
232 |
Yes I am Julian Assange but for your information this bed is part of the sovereign territory of Ecuador. |
1.3664 |
0.05956 |
131 |
98 |
18 |
15 |
233 |
Of course you only took the towels, Jones, that's why you'll never get to become manager. |
1.3664 |
0.05653 |
131 |
95 |
24 |
12 |
234 |
Well you didn't have a problem with e-mailing me all night. |
1.3664 |
0.05755 |
131 |
96 |
22 |
13 |
235 |
Seriously, I can do this job in my sleep! |
1.3664 |
0.05441 |
131 |
93 |
28 |
10 |
236 |
What part of "working from home" did you not understand? |
1.3643 |
0.05496 |
129 |
92 |
27 |
10 |
237 |
I'm not going to let this job force me outside of my comfort zone! |
1.3643 |
0.05605 |
129 |
93 |
25 |
11 |
238 |
I commute from a bedroom community. |
1.3643 |
0.04789 |
129 |
86 |
39 |
4 |
239 |
What can I do? I told all my Twitter followers if Donald Trump won the election, I wouldn't get out of bed ever again! |
1.3622 |
0.05773 |
127 |
93 |
22 |
12 |
240 |
That seminar on work life balance really spoke to me. |
1.3622 |
0.05553 |
127 |
91 |
26 |
10 |
241 |
So you didn't mean literally "go to the mattresses"? |
1.3622 |
0.05553 |
127 |
91 |
26 |
10 |
242 |
HEY! The ad said bed AND breakfast! |
1.3622 |
0.05553 |
127 |
91 |
26 |
10 |
243 |
Of course I'm wearing pants. |
1.3622 |
0.05553 |
127 |
91 |
26 |
10 |
244 |
I'm working undercover, you idiot. |
1.3622 |
0.05439 |
127 |
90 |
28 |
9 |
245 |
Sorry I'm late. I had trouble getting out of bed this morning. |
1.3622 |
0.05323 |
127 |
89 |
30 |
8 |
246 |
Meet my new invention - the Murphy's Law Bed. |
1.3622 |
0.05083 |
127 |
87 |
34 |
6 |
247 |
I'm sorry. I just couldn't get out of bed this morning. |
1.3600 |
0.05949 |
100 |
70 |
24 |
6 |
248 |
I'm ready for your all-day staff meeting. |
1.3600 |
0.05376 |
125 |
88 |
29 |
8 |
249 |
Make me. |
1.3600 |
0.05836 |
125 |
92 |
21 |
12 |
250 |
Sorry I'm late but I couldn't get out of bed this morning. |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
251 |
Yeah, but technically I haven't actually violated the doctor's orders. |
1.3600 |
0.05611 |
125 |
90 |
25 |
10 |
252 |
Yes sir, the Doctor said as long as I stay in bed, I can work. |
1.3600 |
0.05255 |
125 |
87 |
31 |
7 |
253 |
Yes, dad. Blogging is a real job. |
1.3577 |
0.05671 |
123 |
89 |
24 |
10 |
254 |
Obviously I'm not your stereotypical homeless person. |
1.3577 |
0.06013 |
123 |
92 |
18 |
13 |
255 |
Ebenezer, I am the ghost of "Work/Life Balance". |
1.3577 |
0.06123 |
123 |
93 |
16 |
14 |
256 |
You ever have one of those mornings where you just can't get out of bed? |
1.3577 |
0.05552 |
123 |
88 |
26 |
9 |
257 |
Look, you knew my name was Murphy when you hired me! |
1.3525 |
0.05450 |
122 |
87 |
27 |
8 |
258 |
I'm 24/7. |
1.3525 |
0.05693 |
122 |
89 |
23 |
10 |
259 |
I'm temping at Ikea. |
1.3525 |
0.05063 |
122 |
84 |
33 |
5 |
260 |
I'm trying to strike a better work-life balance. |
1.3525 |
0.05324 |
122 |
86 |
29 |
7 |
261 |
I'm late because I had to tie myself to the roof of my car! |
1.3516 |
0.06878 |
91 |
68 |
14 |
9 |
262 |
I'm going under cover! |
1.3500 |
0.05755 |
120 |
88 |
22 |
10 |
263 |
That's all you have to say? "Where's the fitted sheet?" |
1.3500 |
0.05755 |
120 |
88 |
22 |
10 |
264 |
My therapist says dreams of being naked at work are typical, but this one has him stumped. |
1.3500 |
0.05378 |
120 |
85 |
28 |
7 |
265 |
Doctor's orders, I can't leave the bed. |
1.3500 |
0.05755 |
120 |
88 |
22 |
10 |
266 |
Like you said...I made my bed...now I'm laying in it. |
1.3500 |
0.05755 |
120 |
88 |
22 |
10 |
267 |
I paid for First Class, and I am not moving. |
1.3475 |
0.05694 |
118 |
86 |
23 |
9 |
268 |
I'm adapting to our new "you can sleep when you are dead" policy. |
1.3475 |
0.05819 |
118 |
87 |
21 |
10 |
269 |
I decided my job isn't worth getting out of bed for. |
1.3475 |
0.06182 |
118 |
90 |
15 |
13 |
270 |
You told me to dress for the job that I want! |
1.3475 |
0.06182 |
118 |
90 |
15 |
13 |
271 |
You told me to get myself 'embedded' in the company! |
1.3475 |
0.05298 |
118 |
83 |
29 |
6 |
272 |
This is my home office. |
1.3475 |
0.05694 |
118 |
86 |
23 |
9 |
273 |
I told you I would represent you 24/7! |
1.3448 |
0.05352 |
116 |
82 |
28 |
6 |
274 |
I made the mistake of complaining that my wife never makes the bed. |
1.3448 |
0.05625 |
116 |
84 |
24 |
8 |
275 |
This is not the Wakeup Call I had in mind. |
1.3421 |
0.05687 |
114 |
83 |
23 |
8 |
276 |
Oh, but wearing jeans to work is ok? |
1.3421 |
0.05548 |
114 |
82 |
25 |
7 |
277 |
Well, it all started with the standing desk. |
1.3421 |
0.05822 |
114 |
84 |
21 |
9 |
278 |
My new smart bed went into lock-down mode when calculating my sleep deficit. |
1.3421 |
0.05687 |
114 |
83 |
23 |
8 |
279 |
You are looking at a complete travel package. |
1.3421 |
0.06082 |
114 |
86 |
17 |
11 |
280 |
THE WORK-A-PEDIC |
1.3421 |
0.05822 |
114 |
84 |
21 |
9 |
281 |
The doctor didn't say I couldn't come to work. He just said I need to stay in bed for a month. |
1.3407 |
0.06294 |
91 |
66 |
19 |
6 |
282 |
Then she accuses me of sleeping around |
1.3400 |
0.09307 |
50 |
38 |
7 |
5 |
283 |
I just couldn't get out of bed today. |
1.3393 |
0.05750 |
112 |
82 |
22 |
8 |
284 |
Would I lie? |
1.3393 |
0.06024 |
112 |
84 |
18 |
10 |
285 |
We could avoid arbitration with a pillow fight. |
1.3393 |
0.05750 |
112 |
82 |
22 |
8 |
286 |
I plan to sleep my way to the top. |
1.3393 |
0.05314 |
112 |
79 |
28 |
5 |
287 |
You call this a retirement plan? |
1.3393 |
0.05888 |
112 |
83 |
20 |
9 |
288 |
I'm here to represent the Dreamers! |
1.3393 |
0.06156 |
112 |
85 |
16 |
11 |
289 |
There have been side effects transitioning to decaf |
1.3393 |
0.05750 |
112 |
82 |
22 |
8 |
290 |
You see this is the life of traveling mattress salesman Bob, you gotta sleep on the go! |
1.3393 |
0.06156 |
112 |
85 |
16 |
11 |
291 |
Well it looks like I'm the only one that bothered to participate in Take Your Bed To Work Day. |
1.3393 |
0.05609 |
112 |
81 |
24 |
7 |
292 |
Let's put this deal to bed, already! |
1.3393 |
0.05888 |
112 |
83 |
20 |
9 |
293 |
I'm certainly not the first person to sleep their way to the top! |
1.3391 |
0.05224 |
115 |
81 |
29 |
5 |
294 |
It's the latest in the tiny house movement. |
1.3391 |
0.05368 |
115 |
82 |
27 |
6 |
295 |
You have your ergonomic desk. This is MY ergonomic desk. |
1.3364 |
0.05816 |
110 |
81 |
21 |
8 |
296 |
Don't look at me like that. I'm in a bed place. |
1.3363 |
0.06236 |
113 |
87 |
14 |
12 |
297 |
I thought your speech was today. |
1.3333 |
0.05883 |
108 |
80 |
20 |
8 |
298 |
I don't give a sheet what you think. |
1.3333 |
0.06445 |
108 |
84 |
12 |
12 |
299 |
I'm entitled to my safe space. |
1.3333 |
0.05883 |
108 |
80 |
20 |
8 |
300 |
Well, actually I just got a second call back from Shark Tank |
1.3333 |
0.05424 |
108 |
77 |
26 |
5 |
301 |
I got stuck behind a sectional sofa on Rte. 3. |
1.3302 |
0.05800 |
106 |
78 |
21 |
7 |
302 |
Why does everyone always say I look like I just woke up? |
1.3302 |
0.05482 |
106 |
76 |
25 |
5 |
303 |
Don't ever wake a person who is sleepworking. |
1.3302 |
0.05315 |
106 |
75 |
27 |
4 |
304 |
If the company let employees take sick days I wouldn't have to do this. |
1.3302 |
0.05315 |
106 |
75 |
27 |
4 |
305 |
What do you mean this isn't "work-life balance" |
1.3302 |
0.05482 |
106 |
76 |
25 |
5 |
306 |
If I have to use a standing desk, I might as well be comfortable. |
1.3302 |
0.05800 |
106 |
78 |
21 |
7 |
307 |
I can deduct it as a home office! |
1.3302 |
0.05643 |
106 |
77 |
23 |
6 |
308 |
I'm trying to make this my dream job. |
1.3302 |
0.05953 |
106 |
79 |
19 |
8 |
309 |
OK, the seating has improved. What about refreshments and overhead storage ? |
1.3302 |
0.05953 |
106 |
79 |
19 |
8 |
310 |
You said to bring my spreadsheets to the meeting. |
1.3302 |
0.05953 |
106 |
79 |
19 |
8 |
311 |
Okay, you got me. I AM Bedman! |
1.3298 |
0.06123 |
94 |
69 |
19 |
6 |
312 |
I spreadsheet all day and spread sheets all night... |
1.3295 |
0.06609 |
88 |
66 |
15 |
7 |
313 |
I LITERALLY can't get out of bed. |
1.3235 |
0.05601 |
102 |
74 |
23 |
5 |
314 |
The doctor says I need to rest and my wife says I need to work. |
1.3235 |
0.05772 |
102 |
75 |
21 |
6 |
315 |
At least I'm not sleeping with my secretary. |
1.3235 |
0.05772 |
102 |
75 |
21 |
6 |
316 |
You know I can't get out of bed in the morning until I've had my coffee! |
1.3235 |
0.05772 |
102 |
75 |
21 |
6 |
317 |
You said I can expense anything I use at work! |
1.3200 |
0.05840 |
100 |
74 |
20 |
6 |
318 |
See, I told you I can home from work |
1.3200 |
0.06176 |
100 |
76 |
16 |
8 |
319 |
It's called multitasking - Google it! |
1.3200 |
0.06010 |
100 |
75 |
18 |
7 |
320 |
One of us lacks perspective |
1.3200 |
0.06176 |
100 |
76 |
16 |
8 |
321 |
Well, how was I to know the kids would find the superglue so easily?! |
1.3200 |
0.05664 |
100 |
73 |
22 |
5 |
322 |
I have a prescription for this. |
1.3200 |
0.06176 |
100 |
76 |
16 |
8 |
323 |
I love my new flexible work schedule. |
1.3200 |
0.05483 |
100 |
72 |
24 |
4 |
324 |
Do you believe me now when I say I'm a stand-up guy? |
1.3200 |
0.05664 |
100 |
73 |
22 |
5 |
325 |
I told you I could do this job in my sleep. |
1.3163 |
0.06085 |
98 |
74 |
17 |
7 |
326 |
Could you get out of my dream,sir? |
1.3163 |
0.05542 |
98 |
71 |
23 |
4 |
327 |
Technically, yes, this is my dream job. |
1.3163 |
0.05909 |
98 |
73 |
19 |
6 |
328 |
Now tell me a story. |
1.3163 |
0.05909 |
98 |
73 |
19 |
6 |
329 |
Listen! I want that budget report on my duvet in 45 minutes or we are going to have to reassess your commitment to this company. |
1.3163 |
0.06085 |
98 |
74 |
17 |
7 |
330 |
What do you want from me? I'm up, aren't I? |
1.3163 |
0.05728 |
98 |
72 |
21 |
5 |
331 |
Well you won't let me work from home! |
1.3163 |
0.05349 |
98 |
70 |
25 |
3 |
332 |
I'm not inclined to agree with you. |
1.3125 |
0.06337 |
96 |
74 |
14 |
8 |
333 |
I suppose you're also going to get all bent out of shape about the bedpan in my briefcase. |
1.3125 |
0.06796 |
80 |
61 |
13 |
6 |
334 |
It's my emotional support mattress. |
1.3125 |
0.06162 |
96 |
73 |
16 |
7 |
335 |
Work-life balance is tricky. |
1.3125 |
0.05795 |
96 |
71 |
20 |
5 |
336 |
And why'd you think I slept through the meeting? |
1.3125 |
0.05981 |
96 |
72 |
18 |
6 |
337 |
You mind getting the door? I left my ID in my pull-out sofa. |
1.3125 |
0.06162 |
96 |
73 |
16 |
7 |
338 |
Don't knock it. I'm finally going to get my dream job. |
1.3125 |
0.05795 |
96 |
71 |
20 |
5 |
339 |
I'm a Serta-fied businessman! |
1.3117 |
0.06981 |
77 |
59 |
12 |
6 |
340 |
Yeah, the wife and I are having problems, why do you ask? |
1.3085 |
0.06055 |
94 |
71 |
17 |
6 |
341 |
Murphy's the name. |
1.3085 |
0.06598 |
94 |
74 |
11 |
9 |
342 |
Don't tell me I can't multitask. |
1.3085 |
0.05863 |
94 |
70 |
19 |
5 |
343 |
I decided to take their offer and wait for the next flight. |
1.3085 |
0.06055 |
94 |
71 |
17 |
6 |
344 |
I'm the laid back one. |
1.3085 |
0.05863 |
94 |
70 |
19 |
5 |
345 |
All you day traders have no respect for the night shift! |
1.3085 |
0.05665 |
94 |
69 |
21 |
4 |
346 |
I do my best work in bed. |
1.3085 |
0.06055 |
94 |
71 |
17 |
6 |
347 |
Decaf. |
1.3085 |
0.06241 |
94 |
72 |
15 |
7 |
348 |
Everyone said the same thing about the standing desk |
1.3085 |
0.06241 |
94 |
72 |
15 |
7 |
349 |
I said I could do this job in my sleep. |
1.3085 |
0.05459 |
94 |
68 |
23 |
3 |
350 |
It's where I have my best ideas. |
1.3085 |
0.05665 |
94 |
69 |
21 |
4 |
351 |
Can't you see that I'm on my break? |
1.3085 |
0.06241 |
94 |
72 |
15 |
7 |
352 |
I want a new contract. This bed sucks, the coffee's cold, and you're looking very judgey right now. |
1.3085 |
0.06241 |
94 |
72 |
15 |
7 |
353 |
Murphy, if this is some kind of a practical joke... |
1.3085 |
0.06241 |
94 |
72 |
15 |
7 |
354 |
This whole work life balance thing is getting out of hand. |
1.3085 |
0.06598 |
94 |
74 |
11 |
9 |
355 |
Oh, you wanted me to dive into the balance sheets. |
1.3085 |
0.06422 |
94 |
73 |
13 |
8 |
356 |
Then why is it called Bed, Bath and Beyond?? |
1.3085 |
0.06055 |
94 |
71 |
17 |
6 |
357 |
Sorry, I am late. Took me an hour to kick my wife out of bed this morning. |
1.3085 |
0.06422 |
94 |
73 |
13 |
8 |
358 |
It was fine for Sheryl in accounting, but now it's a problem if I sleep my way to the top? |
1.3085 |
0.05245 |
94 |
67 |
25 |
2 |
359 |
I'm the world's first traveling mattress salesman |
1.3085 |
0.05665 |
94 |
69 |
21 |
4 |
360 |
All the millenials are doing it. |
1.3085 |
0.05863 |
94 |
70 |
19 |
5 |
361 |
Does it look like I'm in bed with Big Oil? |
1.3085 |
0.05665 |
94 |
69 |
21 |
4 |
362 |
Yeah? Well, I've slept through better jobs than this one! |
1.3085 |
0.05863 |
94 |
70 |
19 |
5 |
363 |
Can you believe it? I got fired today for 'laying down on the job!' |
1.3085 |
0.05665 |
94 |
69 |
21 |
4 |
364 |
I hate this new firm! |
1.3085 |
0.06422 |
94 |
73 |
13 |
8 |
365 |
Yes, it's a thing. |
1.3085 |
0.06241 |
94 |
72 |
15 |
7 |
366 |
Worst part is my wife is still in bed |
1.3085 |
0.06055 |
94 |
71 |
17 |
6 |
367 |
You're not supposed to wake someone who's sleepworking. |
1.3085 |
0.05665 |
94 |
69 |
21 |
4 |
368 |
It's called a power nap |
1.3085 |
0.05863 |
94 |
70 |
19 |
5 |
369 |
Look it's either this, or I work from home. |
1.3043 |
0.05296 |
92 |
66 |
24 |
2 |
370 |
Sorry I'm late sir. I got caught in the turnstile. |
1.3043 |
0.06132 |
92 |
70 |
16 |
6 |
371 |
Well, it's MY version of casual Friday. |
1.3043 |
0.06510 |
92 |
72 |
12 |
8 |
372 |
They say you spend about 30 percent of your life in bed. I'm shooting for 50. |
1.3043 |
0.05934 |
92 |
69 |
18 |
5 |
373 |
Sure, but you can't beat the commute. |
1.3043 |
0.05729 |
92 |
68 |
20 |
4 |
374 |
This new travel budget sucks. |
1.3043 |
0.06324 |
92 |
71 |
14 |
7 |
375 |
Standing desks were so 2016. |
1.3038 |
0.06826 |
79 |
61 |
12 |
6 |
376 |
I'm working towards a life-work balance. |
1.3000 |
0.05575 |
90 |
66 |
21 |
3 |
377 |
So I told her, 'Myrna, I'll show you a guy who's erect in bed.... |
1.3000 |
0.06007 |
90 |
68 |
17 |
5 |
378 |
You told me to sleep on it. |
1.3000 |
0.06007 |
90 |
68 |
17 |
5 |
379 |
A spineless lawyer, perhaps, but prove the lazy part! |
1.3000 |
0.05795 |
90 |
67 |
19 |
4 |
380 |
I'm telling you, even Google hasn't thought of this! |
1.3000 |
0.06601 |
90 |
71 |
11 |
8 |
381 |
It's a Sales Number bed, so my performance is adjustable. |
1.3000 |
0.06409 |
90 |
70 |
13 |
7 |
382 |
No, no, I don't need medical leave. I can still come to work. |
1.3000 |
0.05795 |
90 |
67 |
19 |
4 |
383 |
Do I look more laid-back? |
1.3000 |
0.06211 |
90 |
69 |
15 |
6 |
384 |
Look, I'm sorry you didn't get the promotion but this job isn't nearly as cushy as it looks. |
1.3000 |
0.06409 |
90 |
70 |
13 |
7 |
385 |
Where's my bagel? |
1.3000 |
0.06601 |
90 |
71 |
11 |
8 |
386 |
Wow, my nightmare actually came to be true. |
1.3000 |
0.06007 |
90 |
68 |
17 |
5 |
387 |
My therapist says I need to be more laid back |
1.2955 |
0.06293 |
88 |
68 |
14 |
6 |
388 |
There's a pea in here! |
1.2955 |
0.06082 |
88 |
67 |
16 |
5 |
389 |
I almost got out of bed for this? |
1.2955 |
0.06082 |
88 |
67 |
16 |
5 |
390 |
Well, I don't know why you're on the ceiling. |
1.2955 |
0.06293 |
88 |
68 |
14 |
6 |
391 |
I sleep on my desk, so it all evens out. |
1.2955 |
0.06293 |
88 |
68 |
14 |
6 |
392 |
You can't fire me. I'm dreaming right now. |
1.2955 |
0.06293 |
88 |
68 |
14 |
6 |
393 |
The coffee actually keeps me from falling asleep on the job. |
1.2955 |
0.06082 |
88 |
67 |
16 |
5 |
394 |
Can you get me one with a folding cot? I had to pay for three seats on the bus. |
1.2949 |
0.06350 |
78 |
59 |
15 |
4 |
395 |
See - I'm not lying! |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
396 |
What do you mean it's not take-your-bed-to-work-day?! |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
397 |
No, my life/work balance is not for everyone. |
1.2907 |
0.06793 |
86 |
69 |
9 |
8 |
398 |
I couldn't decide whether to sleep in or come to work. |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
399 |
Sorry I'm late. I couldn't get out of bed this morning. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
400 |
Look, ask the cartoonist. I think it's ridiculous, too. |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
401 |
I asked for ergonomic, they gave me Posturepedic! |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
402 |
You're telling me this is inappropriate but Joan's standing desk is fine?! |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
403 |
You can't fire me, this is my dream job. |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
404 |
This is how I justify billing my clients for the time I spend sleeping. |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
405 |
My wife complains that I take the office home with me, so I compromised. |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
406 |
Living the dream! |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
407 |
Because you said you wanted me to take "working from home" to a whole new level. |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
408 |
A little help here. Mom tucked me in tight. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
409 |
I told you this was my dream job. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
410 |
She said I was sleeping my way to the top, like it was a bad thing. |
1.2907 |
0.05698 |
86 |
64 |
19 |
3 |
411 |
Is this the city that never sleeps? |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
412 |
When I said I wanted to work from home, It didn't mean I wanted to live at the office. |
1.2907 |
0.05698 |
86 |
64 |
19 |
3 |
413 |
It's all a big misunderstanding, sir. I was just taking my horse for a ride. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
414 |
I got tired of bringing the job home with me. |
1.2907 |
0.05453 |
86 |
63 |
21 |
2 |
415 |
I got the idea on that flight from Hong Kong. |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
416 |
You told me to adjust my work/life balance! |
1.2907 |
0.05453 |
86 |
63 |
21 |
2 |
417 |
And I remember the days when we started work at 9:00 and were finished at 5:00........ |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
418 |
You can't fire me, I quilt! |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
419 |
I'm transitioning to decaf. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
420 |
What do you mean I don't look well rested? |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
421 |
I work 24 hours a day and you couldn't even spring for a sheet? |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
422 |
I thought I'd home at work for a change. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
423 |
One word, multitasking. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
424 |
No, I'm not lying down on the job. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
425 |
I'm having trouble getting out of bed. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
426 |
You happy now? I'm here and it wasn't easy. How are we supposed to go on without Mankoff? |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
427 |
It eliminates down time. |
1.2805 |
0.06079 |
82 |
63 |
15 |
4 |
428 |
Stop accusing me of lying down on the job. |
1.2805 |
0.05285 |
82 |
60 |
21 |
1 |
429 |
I didn't want to take a sick day. |
1.2805 |
0.06079 |
82 |
63 |
15 |
4 |
430 |
I'm bed-ridden, Jeremy, not an invalid! |
1.2750 |
0.06408 |
80 |
63 |
12 |
5 |
431 |
Because my creative impulses come to me in my dreams, that's why! |
1.2750 |
0.06156 |
80 |
62 |
14 |
4 |
432 |
Okay, find your own way to stop having 'naked in public' dreams. |
1.2750 |
0.06408 |
80 |
63 |
12 |
5 |
433 |
My name is Jim and I'm a workaholic. |
1.2750 |
0.06156 |
80 |
62 |
14 |
4 |
434 |
The guys on "Shark Tank' didn't like it either. |
1.2750 |
0.06650 |
80 |
64 |
10 |
6 |
435 |
It's called multi-tasking...Deal with it! |
1.2750 |
0.05893 |
80 |
61 |
16 |
3 |
436 |
I got thrown off United again! |
1.2750 |
0.06884 |
80 |
65 |
8 |
7 |
437 |
Obviously this is not a down mattress. |
1.2750 |
0.06156 |
80 |
62 |
14 |
4 |
438 |
From my perspective, you are floating over my bed |
1.2750 |
0.05618 |
80 |
60 |
18 |
2 |
439 |
You never heard of a bedstand? |
1.2750 |
0.06408 |
80 |
63 |
12 |
5 |
440 |
Hank, do you think I'm married to my work? |
1.2750 |
0.06408 |
80 |
63 |
12 |
5 |
441 |
Dream job? |
1.2750 |
0.05893 |
80 |
61 |
16 |
3 |
442 |
Not taking it lying down, no way! |
1.2750 |
0.06650 |
80 |
64 |
10 |
6 |
443 |
The stand-up desk is cool. This not so much. |
1.2750 |
0.06408 |
80 |
63 |
12 |
5 |
444 |
What's the matter? Is it the cup or the briefcase? |
1.2750 |
0.06408 |
80 |
63 |
12 |
5 |
445 |
It feels like a giant pocket protector |
1.2750 |
0.06408 |
80 |
63 |
12 |
5 |
446 |
Stop calling me Murphy. |
1.2750 |
0.06650 |
80 |
64 |
10 |
6 |
447 |
I do my best thinking in bed. |
1.2750 |
0.05618 |
80 |
60 |
18 |
2 |
448 |
I have to get up half an hour before I go to bed. |
1.2727 |
0.06306 |
77 |
60 |
13 |
4 |
449 |
Where's my productivity bonus? |
1.2727 |
0.07073 |
77 |
63 |
7 |
7 |
450 |
Of course I'm awake, why? |
1.2727 |
0.05739 |
77 |
58 |
17 |
2 |
451 |
I was afraid to get out on the wrong side. |
1.2727 |
0.06306 |
77 |
60 |
13 |
4 |
452 |
Can you check the weather to see if I'll need a comforter today? |
1.2727 |
0.07012 |
66 |
52 |
10 |
4 |
453 |
You want me to come to work. I want to stay in bed. It's called compromise! |
1.2714 |
0.06410 |
70 |
54 |
13 |
3 |
454 |
You're the one who wouldn't let me work from home. |
1.2667 |
0.06391 |
75 |
59 |
12 |
4 |
455 |
Exactly how am I supposed to have come-on to her? |
1.2667 |
0.06391 |
75 |
59 |
12 |
4 |
456 |
Once I learnt to keep the pillow in place the rest was easy |
1.2667 |
0.06932 |
75 |
61 |
8 |
6 |
457 |
I've been dreaming of this moment. |
1.2667 |
0.05141 |
75 |
55 |
20 |
0 |
458 |
It's made of that foam that conforms to your body but now I can't get it off. |
1.2667 |
0.06102 |
75 |
58 |
14 |
3 |
459 |
This is my dream job. |
1.2667 |
0.06391 |
75 |
59 |
12 |
4 |
460 |
I'm sure you can't wait to jump all over me. |
1.2667 |
0.06102 |
75 |
58 |
14 |
3 |
461 |
Someone told me it was Mattress Monday. |
1.2667 |
0.06667 |
75 |
60 |
10 |
5 |
462 |
I needed more billable hours. |
1.2667 |
0.06667 |
75 |
60 |
10 |
5 |
463 |
It's the new Trump-care hospital bed |
1.2667 |
0.06667 |
75 |
60 |
10 |
5 |
464 |
Sorry, I've been laid up. |
1.2667 |
0.06391 |
75 |
59 |
12 |
4 |
465 |
Don't judge. I'm home-ing from work this week. |
1.2667 |
0.06932 |
75 |
61 |
8 |
6 |
466 |
Sorry I'm late -- my self-driving mattress short-sheeted me. |
1.2667 |
0.06667 |
75 |
60 |
10 |
5 |
467 |
I was working from home and got short sheeted by HR |
1.2603 |
0.06177 |
73 |
57 |
13 |
3 |
468 |
You don't appreciate the gravity of the situation. |
1.2603 |
0.05861 |
73 |
56 |
15 |
2 |
469 |
Who do I have to sleep with around here? |
1.2603 |
0.06177 |
73 |
57 |
13 |
3 |
470 |
Give me one good reason to get out of bed? |
1.2603 |
0.06177 |
73 |
57 |
13 |
3 |
471 |
It's the latest in filibuster attire. |
1.2603 |
0.06177 |
73 |
57 |
13 |
3 |
472 |
I'm playing it safe! More than 400 people die each year falling out of bed. |
1.2603 |
0.06765 |
73 |
59 |
9 |
5 |
473 |
Don't talk to me about flu like symptoms, Johnson! I've been bedridden for three years and haven't missed a single meeting! |
1.2603 |
0.06478 |
73 |
58 |
11 |
4 |
474 |
My pants are at the dry cleaners. |
1.2603 |
0.06478 |
73 |
58 |
11 |
4 |
475 |
You can't be late for work if you never leave. |
1.2603 |
0.06478 |
73 |
58 |
11 |
4 |
476 |
It appears as if my kids found the superglue. |
1.2603 |
0.05861 |
73 |
56 |
15 |
2 |
477 |
I've been feeling ill and my wife said, "You're not getting out of bed, Ted." |
1.2603 |
0.06177 |
73 |
57 |
13 |
3 |
478 |
Of course I am billing for this. |
1.2603 |
0.06765 |
73 |
59 |
9 |
5 |
479 |
My first wife wouldn't even let me READ in bed! |
1.2603 |
0.06478 |
73 |
58 |
11 |
4 |
480 |
If I can't work from home, this is the next best thing. |
1.2603 |
0.06765 |
73 |
59 |
9 |
5 |
481 |
Who could have guessed where the standing desk would lead? |
1.2603 |
0.06765 |
73 |
59 |
9 |
5 |
482 |
I'm on bed rest for my walking pneumonia. |
1.2603 |
0.06177 |
73 |
57 |
13 |
3 |
483 |
You wouldn't believe the subway this morning. |
1.2603 |
0.05861 |
73 |
56 |
15 |
2 |
484 |
I knew there was something I forgot to do before I left the house. |
1.2603 |
0.06177 |
73 |
57 |
13 |
3 |
485 |
The bed's ejector feature failed to function. |
1.2603 |
0.05861 |
73 |
56 |
15 |
2 |
486 |
Another week another male cartoonist and two more male characters. Yay men! |
1.2603 |
0.07306 |
73 |
61 |
5 |
7 |
487 |
I'm going to sleep my way to the top. |
1.2603 |
0.06478 |
73 |
58 |
11 |
4 |
488 |
I AM up! |
1.2603 |
0.06177 |
73 |
57 |
13 |
3 |
489 |
It's the next logical step after the standing desk. |
1.2603 |
0.06765 |
73 |
59 |
9 |
5 |
490 |
It's the natural evolution from standing desk. |
1.2603 |
0.05861 |
73 |
56 |
15 |
2 |
491 |
At this point in my career I would prefer a cubical. |
1.2603 |
0.06177 |
73 |
57 |
13 |
3 |
492 |
The catheter's a life saver! |
1.2603 |
0.06478 |
73 |
58 |
11 |
4 |
493 |
Does it LOOK like I'm enjoying my forced retirement? |
1.2603 |
0.06478 |
73 |
58 |
11 |
4 |
494 |
I hated the commute. |
1.2603 |
0.06478 |
73 |
58 |
11 |
4 |
495 |
I'm on my break! |
1.2603 |
0.06478 |
73 |
58 |
11 |
4 |
496 |
This is what I can afford on the company;s per diem allowance. |
1.2603 |
0.06765 |
73 |
59 |
9 |
5 |
497 |
I can't believe I didn't get out of bed for this. |
1.2535 |
0.06567 |
71 |
57 |
10 |
4 |
498 |
I thought you said this was going to be a desk job. |
1.2535 |
0.06867 |
71 |
58 |
8 |
5 |
499 |
What? Everyone sneaks out a hotel souvenir. |
1.2535 |
0.06567 |
71 |
57 |
10 |
4 |
500 |
Murphy's Law meets the Murphy bed. |
1.2535 |
0.07430 |
71 |
60 |
4 |
7 |
501 |
I'm sleep-working. |
1.2535 |
0.06567 |
71 |
57 |
10 |
4 |
502 |
Yes, I understand there are flaws in the concept, but still.... |
1.2535 |
0.05573 |
71 |
54 |
16 |
1 |
503 |
Working from home is so yesterday. |
1.2535 |
0.06254 |
71 |
56 |
12 |
3 |
504 |
What? The infomercial said I only get 120 days to decide if I'm satisfied. |
1.2535 |
0.05923 |
71 |
55 |
14 |
2 |
505 |
I'm telesleeping today. |
1.2535 |
0.05923 |
71 |
55 |
14 |
2 |
506 |
You said "dress for the job you want" |
1.2535 |
0.06867 |
71 |
58 |
8 |
5 |
507 |
You call it sleeping on the job—I say it’s a power nap. |
1.2535 |
0.06567 |
71 |
57 |
10 |
4 |
508 |
...and if Le Pen wins YOU have to spend 100 days in bed. |
1.2535 |
0.06254 |
71 |
56 |
12 |
3 |
509 |
The Sleep Numbers don't lie, Bill. |
1.2535 |
0.05923 |
71 |
55 |
14 |
2 |
510 |
"I was telling the truth when I said I was stuck in bed!" - My daughter, Lionelle Miller, age 8. (I know she's not 13 but she loves your magazine and cartoons and came up with this on her own!) |
1.2535 |
0.06867 |
71 |
58 |
8 |
5 |
511 |
Lately I've been finding it tough to get out of bed in the morning. |
1.2535 |
0.06254 |
71 |
56 |
12 |
3 |
512 |
I just can't seem to get this through to you ---I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON! |
1.2535 |
0.06254 |
71 |
56 |
12 |
3 |
513 |
Yes, Blaine, I am leaving the house dressed like this and no, it is not too tight in the crotch! It's a Serta, for God's sake. |
1.2535 |
0.06254 |
71 |
56 |
12 |
3 |
514 |
It's a thirty day free trial. |
1.2535 |
0.05923 |
71 |
55 |
14 |
2 |
515 |
That meeting was a nightmare! |
1.2535 |
0.05573 |
71 |
54 |
16 |
1 |
516 |
I'm just having a bed day. |
1.2535 |
0.06567 |
71 |
57 |
10 |
4 |
517 |
What makes you think I'm sleeping on the job? |
1.2535 |
0.06867 |
71 |
58 |
8 |
5 |
518 |
I know I'm out of sick days, but I told you I was stuck in bed. |
1.2535 |
0.07430 |
71 |
60 |
4 |
7 |
519 |
Then explain Casual Friday to me. |
1.2535 |
0.06254 |
71 |
56 |
12 |
3 |
520 |
Where is the damn cup holder on this thing? |
1.2535 |
0.06567 |
71 |
57 |
10 |
4 |
521 |
What don't you like about my work-life balance? |
1.2535 |
0.06254 |
71 |
56 |
12 |
3 |
522 |
Even though I didn't get out of bed, being dressed and getting here on time has to count for something. |
1.2535 |
0.06254 |
71 |
56 |
12 |
3 |
523 |
It was a lot easier when I just brought my work home. |
1.2535 |
0.06567 |
71 |
57 |
10 |
4 |
524 |
Anything that can be done in bed will be done in bed. |
1.2535 |
0.05573 |
71 |
54 |
16 |
1 |
525 |
Who says I'm lying down on the job? |
1.2535 |
0.06567 |
71 |
57 |
10 |
4 |
526 |
What do you mean, I'm too laid-back? |
1.2535 |
0.05573 |
71 |
54 |
16 |
1 |
527 |
My doctor told me not to get out of bed today ... anymore insipid questions? |
1.2535 |
0.06567 |
71 |
57 |
10 |
4 |
528 |
You know those signs that say, "If you lived here, you'd already be home?" Well... |
1.2464 |
0.05986 |
69 |
54 |
13 |
2 |
529 |
Settle now. My client has me on a 24/7 retainer! |
1.2464 |
0.06332 |
69 |
55 |
11 |
3 |
530 |
I'm expecting an extremely boring meeting today. |
1.2464 |
0.06660 |
69 |
56 |
9 |
4 |
531 |
You wanted me to put this project to bed. |
1.2464 |
0.05619 |
69 |
53 |
15 |
1 |
532 |
Bed man walking. |
1.2464 |
0.07272 |
69 |
58 |
5 |
6 |
533 |
I'm stuck. The housekeeper came in while I was taking a nap. |
1.2464 |
0.05986 |
69 |
54 |
13 |
2 |
534 |
It's my airbnb home office. |
1.2464 |
0.06973 |
69 |
57 |
7 |
5 |
535 |
What do you mean the secretaries refuse to work with me? |
1.2464 |
0.06660 |
69 |
56 |
9 |
4 |
536 |
We can cut hotel expenses with this new carry-on package that allows you to stay in the terminal. |
1.2464 |
0.05986 |
69 |
54 |
13 |
2 |
537 |
...and THEN he actually accused me of sleeping on the job! |
1.2464 |
0.06332 |
69 |
55 |
11 |
3 |
538 |
What do you mean I'm late? I got here as soon as I woke up. |
1.2464 |
0.06660 |
69 |
56 |
9 |
4 |
539 |
That's a ridiculous accusation! What makes you think I've been napping on the job? |
1.2464 |
0.05986 |
69 |
54 |
13 |
2 |
540 |
That may be YOUR definition of casual. This is MINE! |
1.2464 |
0.06660 |
69 |
56 |
9 |
4 |
541 |
Yes, stairs can be a slight problem. |
1.2464 |
0.06973 |
69 |
57 |
7 |
5 |
542 |
Standing desks were so 2016. |
1.2464 |
0.07272 |
69 |
58 |
5 |
6 |
543 |
I'm proposing it for Casual Fridays. |
1.2464 |
0.05619 |
69 |
53 |
15 |
1 |
544 |
I only have two days left in my trial period. |
1.2464 |
0.06660 |
69 |
56 |
9 |
4 |
545 |
Yes, but it's not MY binky. |
1.2464 |
0.06660 |
69 |
56 |
9 |
4 |
546 |
I get my best ideas in bed. |
1.2464 |
0.06332 |
69 |
55 |
11 |
3 |
547 |
Seriously, Jenkins? How do you think I made Partner? |
1.2464 |
0.06332 |
69 |
55 |
11 |
3 |
548 |
You assume I'm going to take this lying down. |
1.2464 |
0.06973 |
69 |
57 |
7 |
5 |
549 |
I'm married to my work- is that a problem? |
1.2464 |
0.06660 |
69 |
56 |
9 |
4 |
550 |
I got here, didn't I? |
1.2464 |
0.06660 |
69 |
56 |
9 |
4 |
551 |
I'm not taking this reorganization lying down! |
1.2464 |
0.06660 |
69 |
56 |
9 |
4 |
552 |
Yes, I rewired my Sleepnumber Bed. Why do you ask? |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
553 |
"Foster a more relaxed working environment", that is what you said you wanted! |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
554 |
Well, of course, I'm wearing pants. |
1.2429 |
0.05910 |
70 |
55 |
13 |
2 |
555 |
I asked Alexa to reschedule my 9 0'clock, and this was the best she could do... |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
556 |
You know, Murphy's Law. |
1.2429 |
0.06574 |
70 |
57 |
9 |
4 |
557 |
I didn't get out of bed for this! |
1.2429 |
0.06251 |
70 |
56 |
11 |
3 |
558 |
Never give up on your dreams! |
1.2424 |
0.05737 |
66 |
51 |
14 |
1 |
559 |
So are we getting in bed with them or what? |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
560 |
I said I quit. He said 'In your dreams.' |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
561 |
You said 'casual Friday.' |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
562 |
It's only a problem if I have to use the elevator. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
563 |
It's great for power naps. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
564 |
The L train is hell on the hospital corners. |
1.2424 |
0.07498 |
66 |
56 |
4 |
6 |
565 |
Well, it's MY casual Friday. |
1.2424 |
0.07181 |
66 |
55 |
6 |
5 |
566 |
Let me sleep on it and I'll get back to you. |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
567 |
"Boss", I said, "working from home could save a lot of time", and he thought for a second, and said "I have a better idea...". |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
568 |
I am LOVING the home office. |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
569 |
No Sir, I was not sleeping on the job. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
570 |
Now you tell me "I should have stood in bed" is just an aphorism. |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
571 |
I'm not sleeping on the job, i'm on the job sleeping! |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
572 |
What you never felt like you couldn't get out of bed in the morning? |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
573 |
I'm here, aren't I? |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
574 |
And how would you know what my doctor meant? |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
575 |
No, Bob I am not wearing pants per se but let me remind you that this is casual Friday. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
576 |
You don't see me coming into your office criticizing your management style, do you Craig? |
1.2424 |
0.07181 |
66 |
55 |
6 |
5 |
577 |
A man can still dream, can't he? |
1.2424 |
0.05737 |
66 |
51 |
14 |
1 |
578 |
Get Murphy in here! |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
579 |
But you said, "Infiltrate the sleeper-cell!' |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
580 |
I'm taking power napping to the next level. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
581 |
So we're finally putting matters to rest! |
1.2424 |
0.05737 |
66 |
51 |
14 |
1 |
582 |
What do you mean I'm a Queen Size headache? |
1.2424 |
0.07181 |
66 |
55 |
6 |
5 |
583 |
It's Casual Friday. Was I not supposed to wear a tie? |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
584 |
You said "Don't take your work home with you!" so |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
585 |
Your Honor, the defense rests. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
586 |
My request to work from home was denied. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
587 |
And as far as I know, she's still in here. |
1.2424 |
0.07181 |
66 |
55 |
6 |
5 |
588 |
I could never remember if I was 'laying' or 'lying,' so I decided to stand. |
1.2424 |
0.07181 |
66 |
55 |
6 |
5 |
589 |
It sounds like a good idea but I'm going to have to sleep on it. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
590 |
Duh, it's called vertical integration! |
1.2424 |
0.05737 |
66 |
51 |
14 |
1 |
591 |
It's called "the bed rest desk." It's for after you throw your back out on the treadmill desk. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
592 |
What? I like to bring my home to work with me! |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
593 |
I'll let you in on a little secret: I'm not wearing pants. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
594 |
Living the dream! |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
595 |
Could you press 17? |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
596 |
You said you wanted us to take multitasking to the next level. |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
597 |
I don't get out of bed for less than a quarter million. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
598 |
Let those filthy scheming board directors try to stab me in the back now! |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
599 |
Well, I needed something for my standing desk. |
1.2424 |
0.07181 |
66 |
55 |
6 |
5 |
600 |
I could do this job in my sleep, Glen. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
601 |
I want off the Serta account. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
602 |
People millennia from now will see you chair-sitters as primitive savages; trust. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
603 |
Can't we just stick to pillow talk!? |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
604 |
I never know when the narcolepsy is going to strike. |
1.2424 |
0.05316 |
66 |
50 |
16 |
0 |
605 |
Shhhh. Don't blow my cover! |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
606 |
What? I'm lying in it. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
607 |
The Times says 'Sleep is the new status symbol' |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
608 |
First one in the office - Last one to leave. |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
609 |
Brown-nosing was a total bust so why not try sleeping my way to the top? |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
610 |
Well, some mornings I just can't get out of bed. |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
611 |
It's just that, my doctor prescribed bed rest |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
612 |
You said I should dress for the job I want, not the one I have. |
1.2424 |
0.06499 |
66 |
53 |
10 |
3 |
613 |
I claimed my bed as a home-office tax deduction. |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
614 |
I need my spreadsheets! |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
615 |
I'm on my break! |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
616 |
I'm here for the meeting but I'm prepared in case it's boring. |
1.2424 |
0.05316 |
66 |
50 |
16 |
0 |
617 |
I thought you said, 'The situation is all tucked up.' |
1.2424 |
0.06130 |
66 |
52 |
12 |
2 |
618 |
Let me guess--you're going to chew me out because I forgot the fitted sheet. |
1.2424 |
0.06849 |
66 |
54 |
8 |
4 |
619 |
My wife is dropping by later. |
1.2400 |
0.07856 |
50 |
41 |
6 |
3 |
620 |
It goes away! Just let me finish my coffee! |
1.2344 |
0.06197 |
64 |
51 |
11 |
2 |
621 |
Well you said work/life balance!? |
1.2344 |
0.06197 |
64 |
51 |
11 |
2 |
622 |
But HR says I can take power naps! |
1.2344 |
0.05783 |
64 |
50 |
13 |
1 |
623 |
I'm multi-tasking, I can sleep, eat and work all at the same time |
1.2344 |
0.06585 |
64 |
52 |
9 |
3 |
624 |
Bring on the 2nd 100 days! |
1.2344 |
0.06952 |
64 |
53 |
7 |
4 |
625 |
Dress for the job you want. |
1.2344 |
0.06585 |
64 |
52 |
9 |
3 |
626 |
Spring numbers seem fine to me. |
1.2344 |
0.06952 |
64 |
53 |
7 |
4 |
627 |
I am taking power naps to a new level! |
1.2344 |
0.06197 |
64 |
51 |
11 |
2 |
628 |
Dream job? |
1.2344 |
0.05783 |
64 |
50 |
13 |
1 |
629 |
I'm disappointed you think I'm trying to sleep my way to the top. |
1.2344 |
0.05337 |
64 |
49 |
15 |
0 |
630 |
We compromised on the work at home issue. |
1.2344 |
0.06585 |
64 |
52 |
9 |
3 |
631 |
I asked for a stand up desk, not a stand up bed. |
1.2344 |
0.06952 |
64 |
53 |
7 |
4 |
632 |
I couldn't decide if I should work from home today. |
1.2344 |
0.06197 |
64 |
51 |
11 |
2 |
633 |
I keep having this dream that I am always on my way to the office. |
1.2344 |
0.07300 |
64 |
54 |
5 |
5 |
634 |
Oh, sure! Stand up desks are ok... |
1.2344 |
0.06952 |
64 |
53 |
7 |
4 |
635 |
Technically, I'm lying UP on the job. |
1.2344 |
0.06952 |
64 |
53 |
7 |
4 |
636 |
And I’m going to need a stand-up desk. |
1.2344 |
0.06952 |
64 |
53 |
7 |
4 |
637 |
Can't you do anything right? I asked for a California King. |
1.2344 |
0.06585 |
64 |
52 |
9 |
3 |
638 |
This isn't nearly as comfortable as it looks. |
1.2344 |
0.05783 |
64 |
50 |
13 |
1 |
639 |
What do you mean I'm in bed with the lobbyists? |
1.2344 |
0.06197 |
64 |
51 |
11 |
2 |
640 |
If Todd can have a treadmill desk, why can't I have a bed? |
1.2344 |
0.07300 |
64 |
54 |
5 |
5 |
641 |
I thought it was take your twin to work day.... |
1.2344 |
0.06585 |
64 |
52 |
9 |
3 |
642 |
I'm the definition of 24/7. |
1.2344 |
0.05783 |
64 |
50 |
13 |
1 |
643 |
I deserve that partnership. I've been carrying this firm on my back. |
1.2344 |
0.06585 |
64 |
52 |
9 |
3 |
644 |
You ever have that "just can't get out of bed today" feeling? |
1.2344 |
0.06197 |
64 |
51 |
11 |
2 |
645 |
I hated the stand-up desk. |
1.2344 |
0.06952 |
64 |
53 |
7 |
4 |
646 |
I finally landed my dream job. |
1.2344 |
0.06585 |
64 |
52 |
9 |
3 |
647 |
What - you thought I was going to take this job lying down? |
1.2344 |
0.05783 |
64 |
50 |
13 |
1 |
648 |
Standing desks are so-o-o passé. |
1.2344 |
0.07300 |
64 |
54 |
5 |
5 |
649 |
I'm disrupting daytime, Bob! Very innovative. |
1.2281 |
0.07517 |
57 |
48 |
5 |
4 |
650 |
This is a job you can do in your sleep. |
1.2258 |
0.05826 |
62 |
49 |
12 |
1 |
651 |
C'mon dad, you said dress for the job you want. |
1.2258 |
0.06264 |
62 |
50 |
10 |
2 |
652 |
Power-napping is for losers, Hammond. I’m Uber-napping. |
1.2258 |
0.07058 |
62 |
52 |
6 |
4 |
653 |
Let's see a robot do this |
1.2258 |
0.05826 |
62 |
49 |
12 |
1 |
654 |
I'm beginning to think I have too much work-life balance. |
1.2258 |
0.05826 |
62 |
49 |
12 |
1 |
655 |
Well, maybe you should be more specific when you say casual Friday! |
1.2258 |
0.07058 |
62 |
52 |
6 |
4 |
656 |
I've gone to the mattress for this company for the last time! |
1.2258 |
0.05826 |
62 |
49 |
12 |
1 |
657 |
I told you I was too sick to get out of bed, but no, you insisted I come to work. |
1.2258 |
0.06264 |
62 |
50 |
10 |
2 |
658 |
I can't believe the lack of support I get here! |
1.2258 |
0.05353 |
62 |
48 |
14 |
0 |
659 |
I can explain my bunny slippers. |
1.2258 |
0.06673 |
62 |
51 |
8 |
3 |
660 |
What's your problem? Am I here, on time and ready to go, or not? |
1.2258 |
0.06673 |
62 |
51 |
8 |
3 |
661 |
"My wife downloads every frickin' app that comes along. It's called insta-bed". |
1.2258 |
0.06673 |
62 |
51 |
8 |
3 |
662 |
So instead you are now bringing your home to work? |
1.2258 |
0.06264 |
62 |
50 |
10 |
2 |
663 |
The doctor said 'bedrest', but I don't have to take it lying down! |
1.2258 |
0.05826 |
62 |
49 |
12 |
1 |
664 |
I shouldn't have complained about my wife not vacuuming under the bed. |
1.2258 |
0.05826 |
62 |
49 |
12 |
1 |
665 |
I had to. All my pants are dirty. |
1.2258 |
0.06673 |
62 |
51 |
8 |
3 |
666 |
Well, when you told me what a dream job it would be, I should have asked for clarification. |
1.2258 |
0.05826 |
62 |
49 |
12 |
1 |
667 |
Where's the box spring for my reasonable accommodation? |
1.2258 |
0.06673 |
62 |
51 |
8 |
3 |
668 |
Our new SuperGlue is gonna wipe out the competition |
1.2258 |
0.07771 |
62 |
54 |
2 |
6 |
669 |
As father used to say, "Dress for the job you want." |
1.2258 |
0.07058 |
62 |
52 |
6 |
4 |
670 |
I couldn't get out of bed! |
1.2258 |
0.05826 |
62 |
49 |
12 |
1 |
671 |
John seeks treatment for sleep working. |
1.2258 |
0.07058 |
62 |
52 |
6 |
4 |
672 |
What part of 'dream job' did you not understand? |
1.2258 |
0.05353 |
62 |
48 |
14 |
0 |
673 |
You want me to work late - I'll work late. |
1.2258 |
0.06264 |
62 |
50 |
10 |
2 |
674 |
Power napping is just part of my multi-tasking. |
1.2258 |
0.06264 |
62 |
50 |
10 |
2 |
675 |
Oh...you said wear some red to work today? |
1.2258 |
0.06673 |
62 |
51 |
8 |
3 |
676 |
This isn't what I had in mind when you said I could work from home |
1.2258 |
0.06673 |
62 |
51 |
8 |
3 |
677 |
The turndown service is pretty aggressive here. |
1.2241 |
0.06976 |
58 |
48 |
7 |
3 |
678 |
thought i'd make it a bit easier for you and management to fuck me over and over and over |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
679 |
The snooze button is stuck. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
680 |
I'm multitasking Sir, I can work, drink coffee, sleep and irritate you. |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
681 |
The maid tucked in the sheets so tight, I can't get out. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
682 |
I'm doing undercover work. |
1.2222 |
0.06174 |
63 |
51 |
10 |
2 |
683 |
Our insurance plan sucks, Tom. |
1.2222 |
0.07313 |
63 |
54 |
4 |
5 |
684 |
I’m prepared to outlast you |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
685 |
I'll get the hang of telecommuting eventually. |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
686 |
I got it with my Starbuck's reward points! |
1.2222 |
0.06954 |
63 |
53 |
6 |
4 |
687 |
You hired the new ergo guy, not me! |
1.2222 |
0.06576 |
63 |
52 |
8 |
3 |
688 |
We're all tired of your work-life balance facade. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
689 |
You said no more sleeping under the desk! |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
690 |
I won't retire lying down. |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
691 |
I might be pulling an all nighter |
1.2203 |
0.05442 |
59 |
46 |
13 |
0 |
692 |
My life coach suggested swaddling. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
693 |
Is it a bed? Yes. Am I wearing pants? No. |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
694 |
This is the new normal. |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
695 |
My fortune cookie said I would make a lot of money - in bed. |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
696 |
I told you that I eat, sleep and breathe this job. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
697 |
I'm flying United. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
698 |
I have to learn to not bring home to work. |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
699 |
Who says men can't multitask? |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
700 |
So, this is life in the city that never sleeps? |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
701 |
Your bedside manner is deplorable. |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
702 |
Oh, so when YOU multitask it's great, but when I do it... |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
703 |
Let me sleep on it. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
704 |
You think you're bedder than me? |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
705 |
Who says I'm lying down on the job? |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
706 |
As CEO of this mattress company I decide what's appropriate. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
707 |
It's called "Sleep-Working"......and I'm crushing it! |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
708 |
Working from home isn't all it's cracked up to be. |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
709 |
The standing desk is so yesterday. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
710 |
All I remember is I said Trump is great for business and I woke up super glued to this bed. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
711 |
Yeah? Well, how about you take your feet off my wall and let me get to work! |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
712 |
You're the one who want a 'more laid back' look. |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
713 |
Matt's my name. Time management's my game. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
714 |
People also scoffed at the standing desk/ |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
715 |
I do my best thinking in bed. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
716 |
I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
717 |
I don't have to worry about getting out of bed in the morning anymore, but now getting decent public transportation is almost impossible. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
718 |
My horoscope said ‘Bad things will happen when you get out of bed.’ |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
719 |
They say sitting is the new smoking. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
720 |
I just didn't have the energy to get out of bed this morning! |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
721 |
This is why I hate hospital corners. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
722 |
What do you mean the beds don't recline in Business Class? |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
723 |
As much as you make me bring work home, I'm bringing home to work. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
724 |
I didn't want to get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning ! |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
725 |
Believe it, round here you snooze, you lose. |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
726 |
Why not? Google has nap pods! |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
727 |
I don't get out of bed for less than a million. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
728 |
I develop sheep algorithms. There's a difference. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
729 |
No I didn't get the money! Those "Shark Tank people" have no vision! |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
730 |
What!?!? I only have one carry-on!! |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
731 |
I'm on the Trumpcare treatment plan for narcolepsy. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
732 |
I think better in bed. |
1.2203 |
0.05442 |
59 |
46 |
13 |
0 |
733 |
In my 25 years, no one has ever heard me say "I can't get out of bed". |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
734 |
It's just another way to get to work on time. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
735 |
Success requires you to think outside the box spring...... |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
736 |
The tag is very clear on this point. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
737 |
I don't get out of bed for less than 3 million. This is what you get for 2.9 |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
738 |
I'm doing a sleep study! |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
739 |
It's a nap sack. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
740 |
Send in my 6:00 a.m. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
741 |
You SAID I should be multi-tasking! |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
742 |
I'm woke already! what more do you want? |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
743 |
This job is a nightmare. |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
744 |
You said I'd be working the overnight shift! |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
745 |
It's time we show the women that we can multi-task too! |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
746 |
What? Casual Friday's morphed into Mattress Monday. |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
747 |
I'm not taking a sick day |
1.2203 |
0.05442 |
59 |
46 |
13 |
0 |
748 |
Say goodbye to commuter burnout. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
749 |
Sorry I am late, I had a hard time getting out of bed |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
750 |
But it's fine for you to have a standing desk? |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
751 |
You said don't be late again. You never mentioned a dress code. |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
752 |
Doc, even with coffee and briefcase in hand, I still can't get out of bed! |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
753 |
But I thought you asked me to work under cover! |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
754 |
It`s called multitasking Jerry |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
755 |
...and once I have the bathroom issue solved, I'm set! |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
756 |
THE TURNSTILE WAS A REAL BITCH |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
757 |
Percale's up 12% overnight in Tokyo! |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
758 |
I could talk about how workers are slowly toiling their lives away to please corporations that don't care about them while raising the next generation to do the same or else starve, but---look, are you gonna buy the FUCKING mattress or not? |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
759 |
Who said I was sleeping on the job!? |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
760 |
Can't help it. My sleep number is 24/7. |
1.2203 |
0.06427 |
59 |
48 |
9 |
2 |
761 |
Dad, everyone does this on their sick days now. |
1.2203 |
0.05955 |
59 |
47 |
11 |
1 |
762 |
This is my Employee Wellness Program. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
763 |
Look, you multitask your way, and I'll multitask mine |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
764 |
No questions just now please. I've had 3 refills of coffee and I really need to be untucked... |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
765 |
I told her, "No tuck." |
1.2203 |
0.07280 |
59 |
50 |
5 |
4 |
766 |
No, I didn't want a standing desk, either. |
1.2203 |
0.06867 |
59 |
49 |
7 |
3 |
767 |
I finally qualify for that home office deduction. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
768 |
Doctor, your recommendation of 'bed rest' was clearly ambiguous. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
769 |
"Try a standing desk," they said. "It'll change your life," they said. |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
770 |
....so then I said to genie "get me to work on time" |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
771 |
Morning Murphy! |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
772 |
These are the Mondays of our lives. |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
773 |
I am at the office!! |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
774 |
I slept on it and still feel I'm right! |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
775 |
My wife got tired of me bringing work to bed. |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
776 |
I never get up on the wrong side of the bed. |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
777 |
I appreciate your efforts to make me feel more at home sir, but I can't work like this... I'm going to need a refill on the coffee. would a muffin be to much to ask for? |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
778 |
The subway was running late, and then I lost my wife in the crowd! |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
779 |
I'm NEVER late! |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
780 |
Because I'm a millennial! |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
781 |
The doctor said "more sleep or more work; you can't do both." Well, I'm going to show her she was wrong. |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
782 |
This is why I hate hospital corners. |
1.2105 |
0.07811 |
57 |
50 |
2 |
5 |
783 |
You know, working from home's not all it's cracked up to be. |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
784 |
Now do you believe I can multi-task? |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
785 |
You won't believe the power nap I just had! |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
786 |
You call this economy first class? |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
787 |
It's not just women who can have it all. |
1.2105 |
0.07811 |
57 |
50 |
2 |
5 |
788 |
You got something against multi-tasking! |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
789 |
I hear there's no work-life balance here. |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
790 |
Hey boss, I'm just trying to think outside the boxspring! |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
791 |
The doctor told me not to get out of bed. |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
792 |
I just can't seem to get anything done in my new posturepedic mattress. |
1.2105 |
0.07399 |
57 |
49 |
4 |
4 |
793 |
believe me the self-driving bed is going to be the next big thing |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
794 |
This way, I just get up and go. |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
795 |
But this is how I got promoted at my last job... |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
796 |
It was either go to sleep or go to work. I couldn't decide. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
797 |
You'll love this matrass. It works vertically as well as horizontally. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
798 |
With each of our exclusive stand-up mattresses you get a free can of olives or a slightly-used attache case |
1.2105 |
0.07399 |
57 |
49 |
4 |
4 |
799 |
If I should die before I wake, I pray The LORD this job to take. |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
800 |
Sorry I'm late. I slept past my subway stop. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
801 |
And then I read the research that it doesn't pay to get out of bed. |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
802 |
I overslept and couldn't find my pants! |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
803 |
It's a lumbar support, and my doctor says I need it 24/7. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
804 |
I couldn't find my pants. |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
805 |
I am protesting the night shift. |
1.2105 |
0.07399 |
57 |
49 |
4 |
4 |
806 |
I told you I couldn't get out of bed this morning. Now are you happy? |
1.2105 |
0.07399 |
57 |
49 |
4 |
4 |
807 |
I can never get a cab in this town. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
808 |
Listen.. I'm just as sick of this dream as you are. |
1.2105 |
0.06963 |
57 |
48 |
6 |
3 |
809 |
Well, if you can't find the solvent, can you at least get me a latte? |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
810 |
"Incorrect usage of synergy" was poor constructive criticism, in my opinion, Bob. |
1.2105 |
0.07399 |
57 |
49 |
4 |
4 |
811 |
It was supposed to be a standing desk. |
1.2105 |
0.05995 |
57 |
46 |
10 |
1 |
812 |
Look, I don't know why you're so mad. It's casual Friday but I still wore a tie anyway. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
813 |
Wake me when this bus gets to 42nd street. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
814 |
Wait, why am I fired again? |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
815 |
Dumb question. You can see what I'm doing. |
1.2105 |
0.06497 |
57 |
47 |
8 |
2 |
816 |
You should see me play golf! |
1.2105 |
0.07399 |
57 |
49 |
4 |
4 |
817 |
I had a bad dream, Russell. Take care of it! |
1.2105 |
0.07399 |
57 |
49 |
4 |
4 |
818 |
And I think you're mad because you didn't think of it first. |
1.2093 |
0.07846 |
43 |
36 |
5 |
2 |
819 |
You told me to bring my call sheets... |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
820 |
The standing desks were your idea. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
821 |
I told you, we are not ready to get in bed with your company yet!! |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
822 |
Work-life balance. |
1.2000 |
0.05443 |
55 |
44 |
11 |
0 |
823 |
I said half-soy with extra foam, Geoffrey! |
1.2000 |
0.07521 |
55 |
48 |
3 |
4 |
824 |
She replaced my lube with super glue. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
825 |
I can't seem to find a balance. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
826 |
I said I couldn't get out of bed, but I didn't say I wouldn't be to work! |
1.2000 |
0.05443 |
55 |
44 |
11 |
0 |
827 |
It's an accommodation, I switched to decaf yesterday. |
1.2000 |
0.07521 |
55 |
48 |
3 |
4 |
828 |
Just living the dream! |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
829 |
So I said to the guy on the subway, "Yeah? well, you're man spreading." |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
830 |
I'm downsizing. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
831 |
I'm not wearing any pants |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
832 |
Better than the dream that I am naked |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
833 |
didn't you hear? its bring your bed to work day |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
834 |
Me? Sleeping on the job? |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
835 |
What makes you think I'm looking to retire? |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
836 |
Just trying to follow my dreams |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
837 |
Slacking? I'm working 24/7. |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
838 |
Yes, as a matter of fact I DO think this is a Holiday Inn! |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
839 |
Shhhh! I'm sleepworking. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
840 |
Well you told me to try something more laid back. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
841 |
At least I got to work early. |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
842 |
In my defense the rules for "Casual Friday" were rather vague. |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
843 |
Well I'm president of the room and board. |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
844 |
What makes you think I've been laying down on the job? |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
845 |
Sorry I'm late. I had a hard time getting in the car, okay? |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
846 |
The board will regret not funding my commuter bed. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
847 |
You said you wanted someone who can multitask! |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
848 |
I expect to save 158 hours and 46 minutes over my lifetime. |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
849 |
I told them my sleep number was 24-7 |
1.2000 |
0.07521 |
55 |
48 |
3 |
4 |
850 |
Don't just stand there, go find my pants! |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
851 |
Yes, narcolepsy is a real thing. And I'm dealing with it. |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
852 |
Too casual? It's Friday! |
1.2000 |
0.07521 |
55 |
48 |
3 |
4 |
853 |
I told the boss I'm confirned to bed, but... |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
854 |
Do you know how hard it is to find a strange bedfellow these days? |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
855 |
Your choice - I get to work on time with the bed or I'm late without the bed. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
856 |
Sleeping on the job? What makes you think I've been sleeping on the job? |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
857 |
No coffee, no luggage rack, and housekeeping never came to turn down the bed. |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
858 |
Did you check the credentials of those efficiency consultants before you hired them? |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
859 |
I keep telling the maid she tucks the covers in too tight. |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
860 |
You're the one who said sleep on it |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
861 |
H.R.'s dress code stipulates, and I quote, 'comfortably formal.' |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
862 |
Can you believe it? He said I was lying down on the job! |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
863 |
Fired? For over sleeping? Don't expect me to take this lying down! |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
864 |
I could do this job in my sleep. |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
865 |
I realize Mr Harper frowns on telecommuting so here I am |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
866 |
Treadmill desks are passe. I'm into occasional naps. |
1.2000 |
0.05443 |
55 |
44 |
11 |
0 |
867 |
Tempting offer, but let me sleep on it. |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
868 |
The pay is great, but the job is a nightmare! |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
869 |
I thought I was agreeing to the company's early retirement plan. |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
870 |
And then he says, 'Jobbing on the sleep, again?' |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
871 |
Why do I have to test the beta model? |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
872 |
Murphy: Hotel Industry Lobbyist |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
873 |
I'm a Millennial. I shouldn't have to get out of bed to work. |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
874 |
I only promised you "I'd sleep on it and get back to you". |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
875 |
I swore to stage a Lennonesque stay-in-bed protest, but I ran out of vacation days. |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
876 |
Come on; one little favor. Just reach in for my mobile. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
877 |
It works better than a Varidesk. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
878 |
You were the one who said we were going to the mattresses on this deal. |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
879 |
But the recruiter told me your company has a very laid-back culture. |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
880 |
I spilled the bottle of Viagra on the mattress last night. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
881 |
I call it, 'the home from work program'. |
1.2000 |
0.05443 |
55 |
44 |
11 |
0 |
882 |
Hey, I'm accounting sheep! |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
883 |
I got caught up in my legal briefs. |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
884 |
Sorry I'm late. I had a little trouble getting out of bed this morning. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
885 |
I'm having a nightmare of a workday. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
886 |
Well, a mattress cover would have been a nice touch ... |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
887 |
No, I'm not sleepworking again. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
888 |
Look boss, the divorce is almost over. |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
889 |
I’m sorry, but I just don’t have any wiggle room. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
890 |
You said it was breakfast meeting. |
1.2000 |
0.05443 |
55 |
44 |
11 |
0 |
891 |
Bob, I already told you, I'm 'livin' the dream' |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
892 |
There's been a mixup - I was supposed to be in the "deluxe" Spongebob Squarepants room. |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
893 |
What? You said it was casual Friday! |
1.2000 |
0.06030 |
55 |
45 |
9 |
1 |
894 |
You're late. |
1.2000 |
0.07521 |
55 |
48 |
3 |
4 |
895 |
Getting out of bed in the morning used to be the hardest thing. |
1.2000 |
0.07521 |
55 |
48 |
3 |
4 |
896 |
I thought I was supposed to dress for the job I want? |
1.2000 |
0.07059 |
55 |
47 |
5 |
3 |
897 |
No, Murphy, I don't think your invention is office appropriate. |
1.2000 |
0.06565 |
55 |
46 |
7 |
2 |
898 |
What do you mean you're sending me to Sexual Harassment Training? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
899 |
I am trying to make Mondays easier. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
900 |
As you said, I've made my bed so now I'm lying in it. Now what? |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
901 |
Ok, now I'm ready to be dragged off your airplane. |
1.1964 |
0.06941 |
56 |
48 |
5 |
3 |
902 |
My sleep number is zero; why? |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
903 |
So what. I slept my way to the top. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
904 |
Do I complain on take your child to work day? |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
905 |
I feel like the walking bed. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
906 |
Look, it's an all-day meeting. I'm just prepared for the inevitable. |
1.1964 |
0.05357 |
56 |
45 |
11 |
0 |
907 |
If you're going to screw me I might as well be in bed. |
1.1964 |
0.05932 |
56 |
46 |
9 |
1 |
908 |
I dreamt I was commuting to work and here I am. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
909 |
The stand-up desk is so 2016. |
1.1964 |
0.06456 |
56 |
47 |
7 |
2 |
910 |
Doctor says I'm on bedrest for a few weeks |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
911 |
What do you mean 'this constitutes sexual harassment'? |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
912 |
The doc said I should spend the day in bed... |
1.1923 |
0.07786 |
52 |
46 |
2 |
4 |
913 |
How do you like my executive suite? |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
914 |
I'm starting a bed, bureau and breakfast. |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
915 |
This is not what I meant when I said I wanted to 'sleep in' today. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
916 |
Can't you see I don't have time for a bedtime story? |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
917 |
I'm done with this spreadsheet. |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
918 |
Instead of working from home, I'm sleeping from work. |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
919 |
They say dress for the job you want. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
920 |
I flew in on the red-eye. |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
921 |
The hotel was overbooked so they dragged me here. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
922 |
I'm dressing for the job I want. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
923 |
Also comes in business casual and slacker flat. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
924 |
My doctor ordered a full eight hours. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
925 |
Find an Uber that does do mattresses! |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
926 |
I made it on time, didn't I? |
1.1923 |
0.05519 |
52 |
42 |
10 |
0 |
927 |
My pants are at the cleaners. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
928 |
The hardest part of the flight was the luggage carousel! |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
929 |
Excuse me. You've never heard of Take Your Bed to Work Day? |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
930 |
But this is my dream job. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
931 |
I rest my case. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
932 |
How dare you call me a lier? |
1.1923 |
0.05519 |
52 |
42 |
10 |
0 |
933 |
Haven't you heard of multi-tasking? |
1.1923 |
0.05519 |
52 |
42 |
10 |
0 |
934 |
What?! You don't think mattress testing is a real job?! |
1.1923 |
0.05519 |
52 |
42 |
10 |
0 |
935 |
I earned my MBA at night school. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
936 |
My wife wouldn't let me take a sick day. |
1.1923 |
0.05519 |
52 |
42 |
10 |
0 |
937 |
What makes you think I'm a workaholic? |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
938 |
It's called sleep working. Get over it. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
939 |
No, Brian, I said I wanted to get into the Grateful Dead; not the hateful bed. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
940 |
You said to dress for the job I want. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
941 |
What?! So I take a little home to work with me. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
942 |
OK, I won't expense the pillow. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
943 |
I'm your man 24/7. |
1.1923 |
0.05519 |
52 |
42 |
10 |
0 |
944 |
Can't I just dance outside with the sign? |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
945 |
If you need me, I'll be homing from work. |
1.1923 |
0.05519 |
52 |
42 |
10 |
0 |
946 |
In case my flight is overbooked. |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
947 |
This is the new staycation. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
948 |
Sorry I'm late. My morning routine is out of sequence. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
949 |
Can't you see I've been working 24-7 on this project? |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
950 |
I don't have time to get out of bed in the morning! |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
951 |
and she said I couldn't multitask |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
952 |
What? I did my college online. Why cant I show up to work in my bed? |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
953 |
You try working the night shift and see if YOU like it! |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
954 |
Dude, I'm so tired I could fall asleep standing up. |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
955 |
In this business you're either a sheep, or another sheep, or another sheep... |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
956 |
A fitted sheet would have been appreciated. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
957 |
Now push me over and get back to work. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
958 |
I don't like your bedside manners. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
959 |
What do you mean the Sleep-at-Work model is a horrible idea? |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
960 |
As soon as I go to bed, all of my best ideas come to me. I thought "Why not dress for it?" |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
961 |
Who put me in sleep mode? |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
962 |
It's called multi-tasking. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
963 |
It was this or give up sleep altogether. |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
964 |
One carry on, one item. What's the problem? |
1.1923 |
0.08256 |
52 |
47 |
0 |
5 |
965 |
Finally, I have found my dream job. |
1.1923 |
0.05519 |
52 |
42 |
10 |
0 |
966 |
I take my eggs over easy. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
967 |
It's called a work-life balance! |
1.1923 |
0.07286 |
52 |
45 |
4 |
3 |
968 |
Ah...that's why the seatbelt was so tight this morning. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
969 |
I'm having this crazy dream and you're in it. |
1.1923 |
0.06748 |
52 |
44 |
6 |
2 |
970 |
Good Grief! Management has now infiltrated my nightmares |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
971 |
But I'm too sick to get out of bed! |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
972 |
You should have seen the looks I got on the elevator. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
973 |
I hope you don't need an immediate answer on that promotion, Jack. I'd really like to sleep on it a day or two. |
1.1923 |
0.06164 |
52 |
43 |
8 |
1 |
974 |
My sleep number is 0 |
1.1923 |
0.05519 |
52 |
42 |
10 |
0 |
975 |
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed! |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
976 |
If you think this looks bad, you should see the other guy! |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
977 |
Doc says I must reduce work stress and spend more time in bed. |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
978 |
What? You're the one who said you wanted us to multitask. |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
979 |
You're accusing me of sleeping on the job? |
1.1887 |
0.07646 |
53 |
47 |
2 |
4 |
980 |
So, okay. I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
981 |
I call it extreme multitasking. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
982 |
I refuse to take work home with me. |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
983 |
So what? You never have days when you just don't want to get out of bed? |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
984 |
It's tough being a stand-up comic in a bed and breakfast. |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
985 |
Look, I work, eat, and sleep for this company. Could I at least get ten minutes to take a shower? |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
986 |
So this is a B&B to go. |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
987 |
Doctor's orders. |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
988 |
Does it look like I'm sleeping on the job? |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
989 |
I've finally achieved work-life balance. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
990 |
I booked a bed and breakfast. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
991 |
A perfect complement to my stand up desk. |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
992 |
It's my Murphy office! |
1.1887 |
0.07156 |
53 |
46 |
4 |
3 |
993 |
And then my wife said, "you're taking this sleep study WAY too serious". |
1.1887 |
0.06630 |
53 |
45 |
6 |
2 |
994 |
Do I look rested? |
1.1887 |
0.06058 |
53 |
44 |
8 |
1 |
995 |
I tell you I will not take being fired lying down! |
1.1887 |
0.05426 |
53 |
43 |
10 |
0 |
996 |
Sorry I'm late, there was an incident in the subway! |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
997 |
It takes 'work from home' to the next level. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
998 |
Resting and ready to go, boss. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
999 |
I heard that sitting at work is killing us. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1000 |
I'm not a morning person. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1001 |
I come from a city that never sleeps. |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1002 |
You said I'd get promoted in my dreams. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1003 |
Standing desks are so passé. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1004 |
My wife claims that she thought I asked her for a good hard birthday tuck. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1005 |
Tell me I can't work from home... |
1.1800 |
0.07390 |
50 |
44 |
3 |
3 |
1006 |
I woke up on the wrong side of the mattress this morning. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1007 |
I told you. I'm not a morning person. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1008 |
It's a firm mattress ! |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1009 |
Not Murphy, Murray. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1010 |
I'll stop when the standing desks stop. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1011 |
I don't give a sheet. |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1012 |
Mae West once said, "I do my best work in bed" |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1013 |
I woke up like this. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1014 |
I'm tucking in. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1015 |
Don't give me that "look." I can be ready for work in 3 seconds. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1016 |
You can't sack me; I've got a clean sheet. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1017 |
I don't need to get out of my comfort zone. |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1018 |
What? I ran out of sick days. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1019 |
You specifically said that you wanted me to work undercover today. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1020 |
Does it look like I'm lying? |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1021 |
I refused to get out of bed this morning, and still made it to the office. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1022 |
Don't let your Roomba communicate with your Sleep Number bed. |
1.1800 |
0.07390 |
50 |
44 |
3 |
3 |
1023 |
Granted, I no longer have acid reflux. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1024 |
'Work/Life balance' is our new company motto |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1025 |
How dare you suggest that I slept my way to the top! |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1026 |
Yup, I wake up like this. |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1027 |
I specifically requested NO TUCK! |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1028 |
Nothing else mattress. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1029 |
I didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning. |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1030 |
Working from home no longer means "working from home!" |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1031 |
My doctor said I needed to get more rest. Guess I showed him who's smarter. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1032 |
I laugh in the face of your stand up desk. |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1033 |
This is what I mean by "power napping!" |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1034 |
Jeez, why does everyone keep calling me Murphy? |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1035 |
Do I look like I'm ready? |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1036 |
What sexual harassment complaint ? |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1037 |
Sorry, but it just isn't how I had envisioned "a comfortable commute". |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1038 |
I thought you said we were "going to the mattresses". |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1039 |
I was passed over for California King...AGAIN! |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1040 |
If you're going to stand at your desk, I'm going to sleep at mine. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1041 |
What? Do I have something on my face? |
1.1800 |
0.07390 |
50 |
44 |
3 |
3 |
1042 |
The meeting is mandatory, but not that important. |
1.1800 |
0.07390 |
50 |
44 |
3 |
3 |
1043 |
You told me that, "once I tried this mattress, it'd be hard to get out of bed", but this is ridiculous! |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1044 |
No rest for the wicked! |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1045 |
It's more convenient when I'm bumped from my flight. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1046 |
It's Called Commute Sleeping. |
1.1800 |
0.05488 |
50 |
41 |
9 |
0 |
1047 |
No way this is decaf! |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1048 |
It beats wearing pants. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1049 |
I hope I'm not too early. |
1.1800 |
0.06188 |
50 |
42 |
7 |
1 |
1050 |
My bed's not only comfy, it's clingy! |
1.1800 |
0.06815 |
50 |
43 |
5 |
2 |
1051 |
But why not? You let Johnson have a standing desk! |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
1052 |
I can multi-task, yes I can! Who can't do the job, drink coffee and sleep at the same time? |
1.1765 |
0.06690 |
51 |
44 |
5 |
2 |
1053 |
Life's a mixed bag Drew. I don't sleep very well. But it keeps me on me toes. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1054 |
It's called a life-hack Larry... listen to a podcast for once! |
1.1702 |
0.08228 |
47 |
43 |
0 |
4 |
1055 |
That's the last time I let my wife tuck me in. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1056 |
Cushy?! I have been carrying this firm! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1057 |
I assume you've heard our competitors are 'going to the mattresses.' |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1058 |
Listen. I am here to work and dream big! |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1059 |
So what, tell him I don't give a sheet any more. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1060 |
Remind me never to book a B&B online again. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1061 |
It's one of those 'work from home' scams. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1062 |
When we say we're on 24/7 we mean it. |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1063 |
ARE we gonna fuck or WHAT? |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1064 |
My wife left me. She says I'm a workaholic. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1065 |
OK, it's an improvement. But I'm still not flying United again. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1066 |
What are you talking about, Murphy?! This is a great idea! |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1067 |
Dude! "It's called a Power Nap!" |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1068 |
Well, excuse me for never having seen 'The Godfather'! |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1069 |
Says the guy with the stupid standing desk! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1070 |
If it's good enough for telecommuting, why not the office!? |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1071 |
No, I most certainly did NOT get up on the wrong side. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1072 |
I'm saving my sick days for later. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1073 |
Okay, I said that I COULD do your job in my sleep … not that I WOULD. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1074 |
Well your assnine insurance doctor, said to go to work but stay in bed as much as possible. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1075 |
The divorce has left me with this. |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1076 |
What do you mean I'm being downsized? I live here! |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1077 |
Hey! I don't get out of bed for less than ten thousand dollars. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1078 |
Just couldn't get out of bed this morning. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1079 |
This isn't what I meant by stay-cation. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1080 |
If you hadn't cut the per-diem, I COULD travel light! |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1081 |
Yeah, it's like the withdrawal scene in Trainspotting with the visions coming out of the ceiling, except unlike Trainspotting, all the crap from my own life is obviously extremely boring |
1.1702 |
0.08228 |
47 |
43 |
0 |
4 |
1082 |
I told you I wouldn't take this lying down. |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1083 |
Wow, do you have a female Murphy bed version? |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1084 |
So, this is not what you had in mind for work life balance? |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1085 |
Don't act like you've never had trouble getting out of bed. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1086 |
You're just jealous that you didn't think of it first. |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1087 |
I said I wouldnt take this laying down! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1088 |
You think I'm going to take this lying down? |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1089 |
I ordered cafe au lait and they gave me cafe au Lit |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1090 |
You said that on this deal we have to go to the mattresses |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1091 |
I decided not to take your attitude lying down. On the other hand, comfort's important. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1092 |
What? You're just jealous you didn't think of it first. |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1093 |
I'm finally getting in my snooze time. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1094 |
Couldn't make up my mind whether to come in or telework today. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1095 |
I've solved the, " I hate getting out of bed and going to work " dilemma for all mankind, forever! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1096 |
Trump University - what else? |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1097 |
I really need to sleep on this decision. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1098 |
I'm working from home. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1099 |
But you said I could work from home! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1100 |
Do I have to spell it out for you? It's called multitasking. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1101 |
Well, I wasn't going to take it laying down! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1102 |
My wife short-sheeted me, and I didn't want to be late for work. |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1103 |
The bed got up on the wrong side of me this morning. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1104 |
Hopefully the home office deduction still exists in the new tax code! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1105 |
I warned you that we're going to the mattresses on this. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1106 |
It helps me get a jump on the traffic |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1107 |
I'm Som Nambulist, your productivity consultant. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1108 |
The office is no place for your pillow talk! |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1109 |
It's called "life-hacking", Dave. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1110 |
This is what you get for calling a 6 a.m. meeting. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1111 |
What, you think I slept my way to the top? |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1112 |
But you said you wanted more efficiency out of your employees! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1113 |
I'm erect and ready for business. Think this will satisfy her? |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1114 |
thought i'd make it a bit easier for you and management to fuck me over and over and over like you always do |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1115 |
I know I am late! I couldn't get out of bed. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1116 |
This aint my idea of pillow talk. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1117 |
What?! I'm multi-tasking! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1118 |
A working breakfast in bed is too a thing. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1119 |
Well, if you're gonna make us use standing desks! |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1120 |
what makes you think I can't multitask? |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1121 |
It's called memory foam, this should help increase my production. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1122 |
I told you I wasn't getting out of bed for this. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1123 |
I am not lying |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1124 |
I'm the new intern for the 24/7 shift. |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1125 |
I thought you said we were "going to the mattresses". |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1126 |
What made you think I was kidding? |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1127 |
Now you can't accuse me of getting out on the wrong side. |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1128 |
And then the Genie just disappeared! |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1129 |
The employee manual only says that I cannot lie down in my office. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1130 |
Upside: No commuting. Downside: I catch a lot of sheet. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1131 |
Sorry not sorry, dad, but I’m gonna bail on Bring Your Millennial to Work Day. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1132 |
What!!? You said today was "business casual!! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1133 |
I'm fed up with these millennials always asking for a better work/life balance! |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1134 |
I thought I'd take a sick day at work. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1135 |
I'm working from bed today. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1136 |
Don't knock it til you've tried it. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1137 |
Restroom breaks are the only problem. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1138 |
You said we were going to pull all-nighters, right? |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1139 |
I had a dream about work last night. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1140 |
The doctor told me not to get out of bed. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1141 |
I forgot my pants. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1142 |
If the blanket's over my head, don't disturb me. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1143 |
You have a lot of a nerve staying awake on the job! |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1144 |
Yeah, I know; I have a tendency to get ahead of myself." |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1145 |
At our meeting you didn't finish "Goodnight Moon"! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1146 |
My wife says men are bad at multi-tasking. I'm out to prove her wrong. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1147 |
Sorry I'm late, but I just couldn't get out of bed |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1148 |
Before condemning it, I thought I should at least experience life as a pocket protector. |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1149 |
So you can't think of one goddam funny thing to say? I'm walking around in a bed at work and you don't think thats funny? Because let me tell you something it's funny ok, it's funny! |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1150 |
C'mon - a couple weeks ago, Woodbridge got that hamster-wheel desk. |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1151 |
Again, I was downsized, so I now have a position working out of my bed. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1152 |
What side did I get up on now? |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1153 |
What? What's the problem? I choose comfort as my lifestyle! |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1154 |
My doctor put me on bed rest to reduce work stress. |
1.1702 |
0.08228 |
47 |
43 |
0 |
4 |
1155 |
I thought it was bring your bed to work day?! |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1156 |
My chiropractor said I should work at a sleeping desk. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1157 |
If it's all the same to you, I thought I'd work from the office this morning. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1158 |
No one at the office has my back. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1159 |
I don't see how this qualifies as sleeping on the job |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1160 |
NOW who got up on the wrong side of the bed? Huh? |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1161 |
Everyone says naps help productivity. |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1162 |
The company's future: 24/7. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1163 |
If you're not floating in the air, then I must be standing up. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1164 |
I’m just living the dream. |
1.1702 |
0.05541 |
47 |
39 |
8 |
0 |
1165 |
I'm ready for court. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1166 |
I thought we valued work-life balance. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1167 |
If you can excuse me, I'm trying to work. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1168 |
He said, "You can leave anytime you like, but you can never check out." |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1169 |
I know getting dressed in bed is odd, but how did you get stuck to my ceiling? |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1170 |
I'm flying United. |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1171 |
AS SEEN ON TV......ALL - IN - ONE TRAVEL PACKAGE ....$19.95 X 5. |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1172 |
I'm duct taping myself to the next United Airlines flight. |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1173 |
Sorry Boss. Just couldn't get out of bed this morning. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1174 |
Life is prioritization, Collins. |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1175 |
My doctor told me to stay in bed. |
1.1702 |
0.06321 |
47 |
40 |
6 |
1 |
1176 |
Treadmill desks were, oh, so 21st century. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1177 |
Torn between work and home |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1178 |
Murphy's Law not Murphy Bed! |
1.1702 |
0.07646 |
47 |
42 |
2 |
3 |
1179 |
You told me to save money on overhead. |
1.1702 |
0.07015 |
47 |
41 |
4 |
2 |
1180 |
I have a doctor's note! |
1.1667 |
0.06745 |
42 |
36 |
5 |
1 |
1181 |
Well, you did tell me I'd have to pull and all nighter. |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1182 |
I will now be available 24 hours a day |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1183 |
Well, you said "Be prepared to work thru the night"! I'm prepared!! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1184 |
Look. Casual Friday was YOUR idea. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1185 |
And now you know why my clothes look like they've been slept in! |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1186 |
Yes, I'm a morning person. Duh. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1187 |
I blame daylight saving time. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1188 |
Well how about you give me "your" definition of blanket purchase orders. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1189 |
Of course you beat me at racquetball! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1190 |
Home office, office home. Same diff. |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1191 |
My wife says I'm married to my job. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1192 |
Tell me the story about best practices for cash flow management. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1193 |
I know you expect us to "eat & sleep" our work, but I need a desk! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1194 |
What?! Some things are easier to take lying down. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1195 |
What do you mean this isn't a realistic lifestyle? |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1196 |
Like I said, I can do this job in my sleep. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1197 |
But I have completely eliminated my commuting expenses. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1198 |
If the market sours, I've got something to fall back on. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1199 |
Haven't heard of it? It's called work-life integration. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1200 |
Why not? You've always accused me of being asleep on the job... |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1201 |
You think I need more face time at the office and I think I need to be able to work from home. This way we both win. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1202 |
Wake up! That tie doesn't go with that mattress. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1203 |
Ask me how to save more on your car insurance. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1204 |
I hate "Commute From Bed Day." |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1205 |
Just tell 'em I'll be ready 24/7. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1206 |
The language in my contract clearly says to strive to make this my "dream" job. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1207 |
This is how I work at home. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1208 |
You told me to stay in bed. |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1209 |
As a millennium, if I happen to fall asleep at work, I have a right to be comfortable. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1210 |
I know that the company is trimming costs but couldn't I get a futon? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1211 |
Dickinsheets, the name is Dickinsheets. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1212 |
We pulled out of NAP-TA. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1213 |
I am here for my sleep study. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1214 |
It's a Murphy Bed Desk; I'll fold up and you'll never even know I'm sleeping. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1215 |
"I told you, it's the flu. Now do you believe me? |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1216 |
Why.....do I look like I slept here? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1217 |
No I didn't get out of bed on the wrong side! I just feel like I've been up all night. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1218 |
What do you mean, you think I'm sleeping on the job? Whatever gave you that idea? |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1219 |
I took your advise. I am embracing work-life integration. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1220 |
I'm virtical integration! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1221 |
I'm dressing for the job I want. |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1222 |
I thought you promised me Business Class this time. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1223 |
No, I've never heard of the legendary Nap-man! |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1224 |
Monday Morning . |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1225 |
Keith describes his latest nightmare. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1226 |
My God, man, are you blind? It's a CALIFORNIA King! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1227 |
That's the last time I stay at a Military Inn! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1228 |
Bring Your Bed to Work Day has one major flaw... |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1229 |
I can work 24/7. |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1230 |
And we'll close the deal with a slumber party. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1231 |
I thought this is what you meant when you said work life balance! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1232 |
They cut my travel budget. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1233 |
Yes, this is how I sleep and, more interestingly, why are you floating horizontally above me? |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1234 |
I really am the President of Mattress Firm. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1235 |
You laugh, but my hotel expenses are zero. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1236 |
This is the best management could come up with for an ADA accommodation for my narcolepsy? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1237 |
Pajamas, I don't need no stinkin pajamas. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1238 |
I know, Tom, but it's what the Millennials want. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1239 |
I feel I'm ready for whatever today throws at me! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1240 |
But... they're my comfort items! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1241 |
Just pulled an 'all nighter'. |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1242 |
As a matter of fact, I did get up on the wrong side of the bed. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1243 |
I don't need a big office Mr. Murphy, just give me a hole in the wall. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1244 |
No! Working from home has not changed my habits. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1245 |
I'm planning to sleep on the job. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1246 |
Sleep Schmeep--I'm living the dream, man! |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1247 |
What? You said it was casual Friday! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1248 |
I just can't stop working |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1249 |
I've decided to make the most of this narcolepsy and get a sleeping desk. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1250 |
How can you expect me to fall asleep holding all this crap? |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1251 |
I'm not going to lie down and take it anymore. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1252 |
Multitasking is the key to success, Jim! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1253 |
I plan on utilizing every second of my afternoon power nap. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1254 |
Where am I supposed to put my laptop? |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1255 |
It's all about work and personal life balance boss |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1256 |
What? Bedder late than never. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1257 |
Push my 8.30 to 9.30 and tell Johnson Super Glue Wednesdays are cancelled moving forward. |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1258 |
Would you please push me to the nearest Starbucks? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1259 |
Standing desk? No this is my new bed-desk... |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1260 |
What do you mean I didn’t win Employee of the Month?!?!?! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1261 |
I get more work done before I get out of bed than most people do all night long. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1262 |
I'm defending a client who works nights. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1263 |
This is supposedly how they do it in Europe. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1264 |
Inspired by my pet turtle. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1265 |
Doctor's orders, Sir: "Stay in bed till you are no longer contagious." |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1266 |
So you're saying I can't sleep in the office? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1267 |
I'm not wearing any pants |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1268 |
If it weren't for the suit-and-tie pajamas I'd feel pretty silly working today. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1269 |
I'm pulling an all-morninger. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1270 |
This is what they came up with to save money when we go on business trips ! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1271 |
It's called a 24/7 mattress, for a longer lasting sleep. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1272 |
If you want to get ahead in this world, Baxter, you'll have to learn how to multi-task. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1273 |
I told you it was a tuck-in acquisition. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1274 |
So then she says, 'untuck yourself'. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1275 |
The Starbucks line was just so long. Oh, and traffic, yes, traffic was terrible this morning. |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1276 |
No stupid sleep study's gonna cut into my billable hours! |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1277 |
Clearly, your maids didn't read the "do not disturb" sign. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1278 |
I was part of the very early layoffs. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1279 |
Sleeping is not billable in and of itself. That's why I always bring work with. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1280 |
Deal with it. I do my best work in bed. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1281 |
I don't do trust falls. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1282 |
OK, no man-spreading. Nothing about bedspreading. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1283 |
Are you in my dream or am I in yours? |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1284 |
I hate it when the sheets are tucked too tight. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1285 |
I am a daydream believer. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1286 |
Okay. I agree to work late! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1287 |
I left my pants in Houston. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1288 |
But wait there's more! You also get these handy set of kitchen knives! |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1289 |
This is my interpretation of casual Friday. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1290 |
I needed a more supportive work environment. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1291 |
My hourly salary mustn't be lower than my sleep number. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1292 |
I'll power nap my way, you power nap yours. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1293 |
Hell yes, I'm fired up and ready to go! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1294 |
Face it. There is NOTHING funny about this. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1295 |
Doesn't this fit within casual Friday guidelines? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1296 |
I thought we were going to the mattresses? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1297 |
What? Do I have bed head? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1298 |
I told you I wasn't going to take this laying down! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1299 |
The doctor recommended bed rest, but you told me that I had no sick leave. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1300 |
Well, your HAIRCUT is "ridiculous," Dave! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1301 |
John, I am trying to relax at work just like you said I should. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1302 |
It's the latest micro apartment/office. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1303 |
I do not want to travel united again |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1304 |
Let's put this deal to bed right now. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1305 |
Don't just stand there. Butter me some toast. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1306 |
Standing desks are for deadbeat slackers |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1307 |
I am just following the new requirement of the office to use a stand up desk. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1308 |
What are you staring at? I told you I have the shortest commute in the office. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1309 |
When I asked what the dresscode was during our video interview you said, and I quote, "what you're in now is fine." |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1310 |
Doctors orders! You can take it up with HR. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1311 |
I don't know why I even bothered getting out of bedroom today! |
1.1591 |
0.07926 |
44 |
40 |
1 |
3 |
1312 |
I do my best work in the sack. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1313 |
I refuse to take this lying down! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1314 |
What was I supposed to do? My doctor said I had to stay in bed! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1315 |
Forget advertising Fitbits to millennials; let's go after baby boomers with the power nap-pack. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1316 |
I hate these "take your bed to work " days. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1317 |
Now do you believe me when I say firm? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1318 |
Once you've worked at a standing desk there's no turning back. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1319 |
No doctor's orders are going to stop me from getting this deal through. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1320 |
I'm what they call one of the walking wounded. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1321 |
Not only am I going to work, I'm also cleaning my oven. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1322 |
The best thing about door to door mattress sales is that you don't have to wear pants. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1323 |
Stab me in the back once, shame on you.... |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1324 |
I said I wanted to be EMbedded! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1325 |
I'm the Secretary of Procrastination; the President is expecting me. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1326 |
Please, Brian, not another comment about my bed-head. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1327 |
After being up all night maid service worked around me. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1328 |
Working at home is not as easy as I thought it would be. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1329 |
What would you have done if you couldn't find your pants? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1330 |
It's Starbucks' new bedtime brew. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1331 |
You know Mr. Johnson, I'm not just selling a mattress, I'm selling a lifestyle. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1332 |
They say dress for the job you want. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1333 |
Hey, it's called multi-tasking! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1334 |
Yes Sir, correct: I refuse to give up my standing-room only bed for the hotel manager's assistant. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1335 |
Listen, if I'm not going to be late anymore then we have to compromise. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1336 |
You've heard of the standing desk? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1337 |
My Dad slept his way to the top and so can I. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1338 |
This doesn't soften the blow. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1339 |
What makes you think I've been sleeping on the job? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1340 |
I said soy milk you nitwit! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1341 |
Well then why call it 'Casual Friday'? |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1342 |
Your words said we'd get it done by 5 but your eyes said "all-nighter". |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1343 |
But sleep is the new black. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1344 |
What work/life balance? |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1345 |
I told you I wouldn't get out of bed for this again. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1346 |
I finally figured out my optimal ergonomics. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1347 |
What? I'm here... |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1348 |
What's your problem? My work is my life. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1349 |
We're testing this to fit in more first-class fliers -- Luxury Standing. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1350 |
I wish United had put me on the mattress before they dragged me off the plane. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1351 |
You told me to do something about my work-life balance. |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1352 |
Well, no one tells me what side of the damn bed I got out of now! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1353 |
Whoever thought of lazy Fridays is a genius. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1354 |
It was cheap, but I'll never stay at the Tumbling Dominoes Hotel again. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1355 |
I'm tired of pulling all nighters! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1356 |
The only problem is that the mug doesn't fit in the lunch box. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1357 |
I did not make this bed so I refuse to lie in it. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1358 |
I'M DON DRAPER BITCH I DO WHAT I WANT! |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1359 |
I suggest you sleep on it. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1360 |
I'm here on time aren't I? |
1.1591 |
0.05578 |
44 |
37 |
7 |
0 |
1361 |
Normally I'm a big risk taker, but I feel stuck in my comfort zone lately. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1362 |
So we can wear jeans on Fridays but this is "unprofessional" |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1363 |
You said take the cheapest overnight flight, so I used FedEx. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1364 |
So you wear suction cup shoes and I am the weirdo here?! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1365 |
You want 24/7? I'll show you 24/7! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1366 |
I'm power nap ready. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1367 |
At least it's being supportive. |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1368 |
Even with the train problems, my commute seems to be easier. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1369 |
I promised my doctor that I'd stay in bed today. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1370 |
What do you mean, I should start putting my money in other places? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1371 |
Do you think this can count as a carry-on? |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1372 |
I will not take this lying down. |
1.1591 |
0.07229 |
44 |
39 |
3 |
2 |
1373 |
I told you I was having trouble getting out of bed! |
1.1591 |
0.06456 |
44 |
38 |
5 |
1 |
1374 |
How do you like my new Mobile Napp? |
1.1556 |
0.05464 |
45 |
38 |
7 |
0 |
1375 |
How can you not see that I AM a multi-tasker!! |
1.1556 |
0.07756 |
45 |
41 |
1 |
3 |
1376 |
Look, if I have to bring work home, then I'm bringing home to work. |
1.1463 |
0.07458 |
41 |
37 |
2 |
2 |
1377 |
Working from home gets confusing at times. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1378 |
What? It's called Multitasking! |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1379 |
I appreciate the upgrade but I specifically wanted Business Class |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1380 |
Remember our sleeping partner agreement. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1381 |
Bed is the new black. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1382 |
Did I mention I suffer from Narcolepsy? |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1383 |
I could sell you this mug and briefcase in my sleep. |
1.1429 |
0.08044 |
42 |
39 |
0 |
3 |
1384 |
They were out of the hat, so I got the vest. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1385 |
Their latest way to fit more seats into each plane. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1386 |
It's a service mattress. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1387 |
I'm sure today is "bring your bed to work" day. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1388 |
You won't see me sleeping at my desk ever again! |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1389 |
You asked me to come prepared for anything! |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1390 |
What?! You guaranteed work-life balance! |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1391 |
Who says I've been sleeping my way to the top? |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1392 |
Apparently, my sleep number is infinity. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1393 |
Her lawyer was really good! |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1394 |
No Dammit! My names not Murphy. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1395 |
Give me a second and I'll dream up an explanation. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1396 |
Would you believe? I ordered a stand up desk, not a stand up bed. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1397 |
Business is ticking up. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1398 |
So I told her, OK, OK you win the superglue war! |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1399 |
The Cheap Executive Home-Office-in-a-Bag pays for itself in no time, and throws in the mobile accessories. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1400 |
Long night. Don't ask. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1401 |
What's the problem? You said sleep on it. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1402 |
My new mattress is having separation anxiety. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1403 |
It's great for the office, but it's hell on the subway. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1404 |
I'm ready any time. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1405 |
What do you mean I have to pay rent? |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1406 |
It's the latest thing: power-sleeping. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1407 |
Sorry sir.... I slept in but I'm ready to go now! |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1408 |
Well, it's certainly cut my commute. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1409 |
I had the strangest dream last night! |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1410 |
The Godfather said "go to the mattresses". |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1411 |
You asked me to be at work before everyone else! |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1412 |
I'm downsizing. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1413 |
Its casual Friday! |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1414 |
You said 'Report to work with everything you need.' I'm a 24-7 guy. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1415 |
I've forgotten my SleepNumber. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1416 |
You're the one who banned Snuggies. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1417 |
With all these interruptions, how am I supposed to get any sleep done around here? |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1418 |
And I quote, "Be a dreamer, Billy." |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1419 |
It's called "work/like balance," Bill. |
1.1429 |
0.08044 |
42 |
39 |
0 |
3 |
1420 |
Murphy reporting for duty sir! |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1421 |
If God is God he is not good; If God is good he is not God. Take the even; take the odd. I would not sleep here if I could, but for the little green leaves in the wood and the wind on the water. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1422 |
This 24/7 job is starting to take its toll. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1423 |
You said I could have conjugal visits! |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1424 |
If I can't work from home, I'm gonna home from work |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1425 |
It's called a working siesta. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1426 |
This way, I can work 24/7! |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1427 |
I just couldn't seem to get out of bed this morning. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1428 |
Well excuse me, I thought this was a sleep study. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1429 |
What do you mean 'it's a hackneyed metaphor!?' |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1430 |
It's a long commute |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1431 |
I said Murphy Business, not murphy bed. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1432 |
Sorry, the company sheets are in the wash. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1433 |
''Of course I practice Murphy's law''. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1434 |
Murphy, this is really dumb |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1435 |
You want me to leave! I want my 'golden parachute!' That's what it's about. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1436 |
It’s my hit the road running stance, Willard. Keeps me on my toes. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1437 |
You better let me go. If I detonate this device you're going to get splattered with hot cocoa. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1438 |
Stop worrying... I've got this covered. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1439 |
Let me sleep on it then. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1440 |
You were the one who said "Work from home, you'll love it!" |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1441 |
I'm tucked. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1442 |
...and then, they roughed me up and threw me off the plane. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1443 |
Who has time to make the bed? |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1444 |
What can I tell you it's now a 24 hour work day. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1445 |
I think its time we had a "bring your mattress" to work day! |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1446 |
I read in the Times that sleep is the new status symbol. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1447 |
What?! I woke up on the wrong side of the bed again! |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1448 |
Haven't quite gotten the hang of my new Murphy bed yet. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1449 |
So I'm guessing this means I've been sacked? |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1450 |
If only my parrot had nine lives. |
1.1429 |
0.08044 |
42 |
39 |
0 |
3 |
1451 |
Behold our new overtime package. |
1.1429 |
0.05465 |
42 |
36 |
6 |
0 |
1452 |
I'm not paying extra for horizontal. |
1.1429 |
0.06440 |
42 |
37 |
4 |
1 |
1453 |
I'm instituting "Slumber Party" Sundays. |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1454 |
I decided to put our budget discussions to bed! |
1.1429 |
0.07287 |
42 |
38 |
2 |
2 |
1455 |
I work better from my home office. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1456 |
Hiring SpongeBob was a masterstroke ... he really knows how to go the extra mile |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1457 |
We wouldn't have these awkward moments, Mike, if you would just let me work from home. |
1.1395 |
0.05347 |
43 |
37 |
6 |
0 |
1458 |
You knew I was a narcoleptic when you hired me. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1459 |
It's advanced sleepwalking. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1460 |
I'm a corporate pig in a blanket! |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1461 |
What? I'm currently dealing with the "rise". I'll worry about the "shine" later. |
1.1395 |
0.07123 |
43 |
39 |
2 |
2 |
1462 |
What else do I need? Human Resources ran out of desks. |
1.1395 |
0.05347 |
43 |
37 |
6 |
0 |
1463 |
The coffee didn't get me out of bed. |
1.1395 |
0.07123 |
43 |
39 |
2 |
2 |
1464 |
This time saving mechanism is how I made it to the top, Jones! |
1.1395 |
0.07123 |
43 |
39 |
2 |
2 |
1465 |
I told you, studies show that standing while working in bed adds five minutes to your life! |
1.1395 |
0.07123 |
43 |
39 |
2 |
2 |
1466 |
The only thing this mattress can't do - is get you a good night's sleep. |
1.1395 |
0.07123 |
43 |
39 |
2 |
2 |
1467 |
Per your order, you requested to have your morning accoutrements served while in bed, Sir. |
1.1395 |
0.07123 |
43 |
39 |
2 |
2 |
1468 |
Name's Murphy. Reporting for work, sir. |
1.1395 |
0.05347 |
43 |
37 |
6 |
0 |
1469 |
This is the cheapest company I've ever been a salesman for. |
1.1395 |
0.05347 |
43 |
37 |
6 |
0 |
1470 |
This Work-From-Home thing isn't that great. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1471 |
I'm not standing for this! |
1.1395 |
0.05347 |
43 |
37 |
6 |
0 |
1472 |
This allows me to daydream more soundly than ever. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1473 |
Autonomous Motel with Minimal Amenities? Try AMZA...Zero Amenities. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1474 |
Do I look like I have time to take down the Murphy bed? |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1475 |
At least now I get paid for it. |
1.1395 |
0.05347 |
43 |
37 |
6 |
0 |
1476 |
I'm pretty sure this is what perfect "work-life balance" looks like, Devin, you jerk. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1477 |
I'm a stay-at-home dad |
1.1395 |
0.07123 |
43 |
39 |
2 |
2 |
1478 |
Lets negotiate! I don't get out of bed for what your paying me! |
1.1395 |
0.05347 |
43 |
37 |
6 |
0 |
1479 |
I need a bigger office and more $$$. |
1.1395 |
0.07123 |
43 |
39 |
2 |
2 |
1480 |
I'm all in. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1481 |
I like to be prepared for all possibilities when I work from home. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1482 |
Bet you can't tell me this is what your head hunter called 'my dream position' without cracking a smile. |
1.1395 |
0.05347 |
43 |
37 |
6 |
0 |
1483 |
This isn't what I had in mind when they said they would upgrade me to a lie-flat seat. |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1484 |
You need HOW many minutes for your honeymoon? |
1.1395 |
0.05347 |
43 |
37 |
6 |
0 |
1485 |
All I am saying is maybe you don't know what multitasking means |
1.1395 |
0.06298 |
43 |
38 |
4 |
1 |
1486 |
This IS business casual! |
1.1395 |
0.07123 |
43 |
39 |
2 |
2 |
1487 |
I may as well be comfortable while I'm sleeping on the job. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1488 |
It's the new Mini Micro Airbnb. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1489 |
You too, can make millions in your sleep |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1490 |
Look, Rutherford, I was more productive when I worked from home. So this is how I roll now. Deal! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1491 |
Just couldn't get out of bed this morning. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1492 |
Bedbugs: If you can't beat 'em, train 'em! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1493 |
How can I compete with a walking scratch-post? |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1494 |
Since I take my work to bed every night, I figure why not save time? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1495 |
Why do people keep telling me I'm sleep-working? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1496 |
Don't you have a mattress that's a little more upwardly mobile? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1497 |
You asked me to be more efficient at what I do, and so I'm being more efficient at sleeping on the job! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1498 |
But I told you I have trouble getting out of bed on Monday's! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1499 |
I may hog the bed, but you never replace the roll! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1500 |
I'm a new man since I got an emotional support mattress. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1501 |
Working from home is great! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1502 |
I ran out of prozac |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1503 |
I specifically recall you saying you had a job for me and my twin. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1504 |
I'm not gonna lie to you, Dennis. It's a dream job. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1505 |
You told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1506 |
I'm telecommuting to work, of course. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1507 |
10 hour days for the last 8 years at my stand up desk lead to this! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1508 |
Brad just got a standing desk. Why can't I have a sleeping desk? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1509 |
I admit we still have a few bedbugs to work out. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1510 |
My doctor told me that the best cure for narcolepsy is "to walk it off"! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1511 |
Why waste time commuting? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1512 |
It's by backup plan if the golden parachute fails. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1513 |
Time for my power nap. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1514 |
Business makes strange bedfellows. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1515 |
No, sir, this is not featherbedding. My job is of great importance to the economy. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1516 |
They're fucking Brooks Brothers bedpants, Roger. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1517 |
What don't you get?! It's like Uber for mattresses! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1518 |
If I fall asleep during the meeting, then this attire IS work appropriate. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1519 |
I have my briefcase and my coffee - so what else do I need? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1520 |
Do you think I'm going to get a five star passenger rating wearing this? Do you? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1521 |
That wasn't in the employee orientation handbook. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1522 |
Is this what it's like to 'have it all'? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1523 |
I was supposed to be flying with my girlfriend, but she stood me up. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1524 |
The way the trains have been running I thought I 'd grab a few winks on the way in. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1525 |
How am I suppose to tie my shoes? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1526 |
How else am I supposed to work in a power nap at my standing desk? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1527 |
Our consultants are telling us 12 hours is the new 4 hours. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1528 |
If those millennials say one more thing about a relaxed work environment... |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1529 |
No, it's Murphey with and "e." |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1530 |
I can't help it business made me a strange bed fellow. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1531 |
Well, you asked for ideas that would be disruptive to Airbnb. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1532 |
It's a homeopathic remedy for high blood pressure. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1533 |
Riding the subway with this thing was a nightmare. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1534 |
I shouldn't have taken early retirement. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1535 |
I'm multi-tasking for a better FitBit score |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1536 |
Stay away from the layaway plan. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1537 |
It's a new technique for overcoming jet lag. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1538 |
Then why is it call a 'restroom?' |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1539 |
You're on the wrong side of my bed, Bob. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1540 |
Who put me in this Murphy bed? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1541 |
$20,000.00 paid to an efficiency consultant, and this is what he came up with! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1542 |
I'm not going to take this tax reform business lying down. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1543 |
I'm going to market it to sleepwalkers---that's who! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1544 |
What? I'm the C.E.O. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1545 |
Segway Murphy, take me to my stand-up desk |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1546 |
How was I supposed to know not to remove the tags? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1547 |
I told you I never get out of bed on Sat. before noon |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1548 |
You told me stay in bed, right? That's what I'm doing! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1549 |
It's for the tax deduction. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1550 |
I’m available on the smart phone 24/7, so why not? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1551 |
It's the new edict from Time Management. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1552 |
I knew something was off. I'm left handed. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1553 |
If you are too mingy for first class then I must improvise; it's called initiative. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1554 |
Why did you give me Murphy's old office? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1555 |
First the standup desk and now this? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1556 |
I do my best work in bed. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1557 |
No it's not a stupid bed. It's a smart bed and I'm an early adapter. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1558 |
I have a doctor's note for this. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1559 |
Think 'Standing Desk,' only better. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1560 |
Bring your bed to work" won out over "office sushi bar" and the "hot yoga break room. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1561 |
All I'm asking is that you reconsider the new policy calling for more multitasking. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1562 |
Really, I'm not still dreaming? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1563 |
So, what makes you think I'm a congressional lobbyist? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1564 |
It started last night when I couldn't find my jammies. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1565 |
So he fires me just because I slept in once or twice! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1566 |
Well then the Doctor should have been more specific – she knows I’m a lawyer. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1567 |
Can you believe the subway is not even TWIN size bed accessible?! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1568 |
Well, you're the one who sent out the "Bring Your Twin to Work Day" email! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1569 |
I don't want a standing desk. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1570 |
I need to sleep on it! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1571 |
Lunchtime comes, I just fall backwards. My invention. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1572 |
My doctor told me this was the best way to treat narcolepsy. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1573 |
But you ad said bed and breakfast included. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1574 |
My wife tucked up and now I'm embedded. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1575 |
You wanted me in early. I didn't want to get out of bed. So let's compromise. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1576 |
Really George, When's the last time you got horizontal? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1577 |
I won't take this lying down |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1578 |
I'm taking multi-tasking to a whole new level! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1579 |
Yes, yes, but where's the cup holder? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1580 |
Sir, you said anyone could roll out of bed and do this job. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1581 |
You said it was a BYOB party. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1582 |
I'm working from home today! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1583 |
I wake up ready for anything. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1584 |
Sorry, just couldn't get out of bed today. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1585 |
I'm simplifying my life as I prepare for retirement. I call it the Mankoff. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1586 |
Dad, I'll try anything to fix the correlation I've found between getting out of bed and dying a little inside. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1587 |
WHY? Because of that damn "Stand-up Desk"! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1588 |
Yes, Carl I sleep on a bare mattress without a fitted sheet. Do you have a problem with that? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1589 |
Dude, you're like a total nightmare. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1590 |
What do you mean "we Americans work too much"? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1591 |
I home from work. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1592 |
You've been after me to multi-task! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1593 |
Now who is the real Napster now? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1594 |
Don't even try to drag me off this airplane! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1595 |
You told me to give it a rest! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1596 |
No! NATIONWIDE is on your side! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1597 |
The commercial said a better mattress would lead to more success at work. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1598 |
I don't know Mark, how else do you expect me to get in bed with new clients? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1599 |
It's not an excuse, dad. I was ready to go, but my ride stood me up. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1600 |
I'm taking it to the mattress with my competitors! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1601 |
This is what you get for having an 8 AM meeting. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1602 |
I'm sleep walking. Alright! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1603 |
Work-life balance, Duh. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1604 |
I really hate Bring Your Bed to Work Day. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1605 |
I cut my hair and got a suit like you wanted. I got a job like you wanted. But you're not gonna make me get out of bed, Dad! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1606 |
I'll show those snobs in First Class a thing or two about comfort in air travel! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1607 |
They never mentioned all these rules when they said I could work from home. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1608 |
I said I'd sleep on it. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1609 |
Working at home is easy. It's the commute that's a killer. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1610 |
Doc says it's work anxiety. Long as I change the sheets regularly no need for therapy. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1611 |
Mr. Murphy, I just don't think this concept will catch on. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1612 |
The doc says I have narcolepsy. It's only fair! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1613 |
I am sorry but this is casual Friday for me. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1614 |
Trying to get ahead board. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1615 |
What makes you think I find you boring? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1616 |
Add some memory foam to the latte -- and we're ready to roll out our Executive Model Murphy Bed ! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1617 |
Sorry I'm late, but you see I just hired a new maid and she's very good! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1618 |
We have the bored meeting today. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1619 |
At least I'm not late again. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1620 |
Fine, if you like living in a pocket protector. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1621 |
I figured I'm here all the time anyway, and my chair just isn't cutting it anymore! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1622 |
After sleeping on it, I think I have a solution. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1623 |
Boss caught me daydreaming again!! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1624 |
I know I know.... Apparently it is take your mattress to work week, and I don't like it either. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1625 |
Working from home was always much easier! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1626 |
It came with my Powernap App. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1627 |
You can see that I have "get-up and go" as a morning person. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1628 |
What do you mean you've never heard of 'sleep-through' Mondays? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1629 |
Have bed will travel! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1630 |
...and he told me to make sure I was not late again! |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1631 |
How many times do I have to tell you, multitasking is the opportunity to screw up more than one thing at a time. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1632 |
But does it convey my ability to multi-task? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1633 |
Over my bed body. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1634 |
Oh! No, not another traveling salesman. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1635 |
I swear once I find who superglued me to my bed they are going to be demoted to janitor! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1636 |
Well, TUCK YOU, TOO! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1637 |
I was told I'd be a King. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1638 |
I can handle any sleep number! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1639 |
Well I'm sorry, steward, but my idea of a bed in First Class is a little more horizontal. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1640 |
What? You said I could work from home. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1641 |
Don't look so smug. It's not easy being the Jolly Green Giant's pocket protector. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1642 |
So, I got a Murphy job! It's retro! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1643 |
Never heard of work/life balance? |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1644 |
Yes, upholding Murphy's Law should be easier than this. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1645 |
I don't get out of bed for less than $100K |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1646 |
The location ain't great, but it's month to month. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1647 |
I've come as 'Mr. Trump Goes to Moscow.' You? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1648 |
The future of self-driving vehicles. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1649 |
I'm sorry, boss, but I don't get out of bed for less than a healthcare plan I can actually benefit from. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1650 |
Am I too early? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1651 |
This model is the most comfortable of all our standing workstations. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1652 |
It's a marketing ploy... this is really a futon. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1653 |
Yes, I'm you ten years from now. What is it you don't like? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1654 |
You told me to put something comfortable on. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1655 |
Treadmill desks are SO last year. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1656 |
I have an important meeting in the morning. I'll need to hit the deck running. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1657 |
Oh, I'm dressed to meet the day's possibilities. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1658 |
When they said sleep your way to the top, this is not what I had in mind. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1659 |
You look disturbed. " did I forget something " ? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1660 |
Doctor, I'd like to go back to the couch!!! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1661 |
Never mind airbnb. I'm self-contained. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1662 |
Your wife invited me to work from home. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1663 |
I figure this way I'll sure as hell get that worm. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1664 |
You promised a good night's sleep. So where is it? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1665 |
Bob, there has got to be a better way to treat your narcolepsy |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1666 |
And I got into bed with some pretty nasty businessmen. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1667 |
You don't want to see the wrong side. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1668 |
I just couldn't get out of bed. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1669 |
My mattress adjusts to "marsupial." |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1670 |
It states " Memory " something, I thought it would be helpful. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1671 |
But Boss, I do my best thinking when asleep. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1672 |
I hate working 24/7. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1673 |
It's called power napping Mr. Judgeypants. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1674 |
If you won't let me work from home, I'll home from work |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1675 |
Can't you see I'm tired of taking my work home! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1676 |
...And this constant whining from my staff about 'work/life' balance! What *is* that anyway? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1677 |
The doctor said work less and sleep more. Do you have a better idea? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1678 |
This is as close to your "work from home" initiative I could get. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1679 |
Haven't you heard? Bed desks are the new standing desks. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1680 |
And on top of it all, the worst part of it is getting short-sheeted. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1681 |
But honey, you know I’d NEVER go to work in a double bed. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1682 |
I'm an entry-level business traveler working my way up to Diamond Platinum Elite - I thought you'd be proud of me! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1683 |
I want off the pop tart account! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1684 |
I take it you haven't heard of 'Multi-Tasking!' |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1685 |
And you can't see the plumbing. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1686 |
At least I'm working from home. What do you want me to do now!? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1687 |
It wouldn't let me go! |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1688 |
I was told that pillow talk can be very revealing. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1689 |
After work at home comes work a-bed. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1690 |
I won't take your constructive feedback lying down. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1691 |
Well, Mr. Murphy, you told me to sleep on it. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1692 |
What? I ran out of sick days. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1693 |
My sleep number is none of your damn business! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1694 |
Didn't you say the office was supposed to be our second home? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1695 |
Well, you look like an unmade bed. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1696 |
#Mattresslife |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1697 |
Not now! I'm taking a power nap. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1698 |
It's my office -- I sell mattresses. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1699 |
Mr. Murphy I presume?" "No, Murphy is my first name. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1700 |
Doctor said I need bedrest but I'm not losing the Jacobson account to Janice in marketing. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1701 |
I do NOT just roll out of bed and come to the office! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1702 |
I am Not lying around on the job! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1703 |
I'm going for the elusive work-life balance |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1704 |
We'll go with your pitch next time! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1705 |
One more Airbnb and you'll be DOA. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1706 |
I'm sorry, as a consultant I have to be embedded in your office. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1707 |
Dude... what do you mean I'm taking The Godfather too literally? |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1708 |
Brought everything - One of THOSE MEETINGS is scheduled today. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1709 |
I tried to negotiate a golden parachute, but this was all they'd give me. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1710 |
Yes, I was a Boy Scout. Why do you ask? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1711 |
And it was hell getting on the subway. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1712 |
I had a nightmare that the alarm clock rang and I slept right through it. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1713 |
The job listing said 'Be ready to work 24/7' so here I am. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1714 |
My company really encourages us to sleep remotely. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1715 |
I lost a bet with Murphy! |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1716 |
Ok, so I'm a little confused about the new work-at-home policy. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1717 |
Still working on the toilet thing. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1718 |
I was tired of regretting it. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1719 |
You never know what tomorrow brings and I want to be ready for it. |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1720 |
...No one ever got a bedsore from a Murphy Bed. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1721 |
You are firing me because I'm late? Well, I refuse to take this lying down! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1722 |
Didn't you say work-life balance, boss? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1723 |
It's a perk that came with full partnership in the firm Simmons, Serta, and Sealy. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1724 |
He just said 'take up your Sleep Number and walk!' |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1725 |
And then they kicked me off the flight just because I was taking up eight seats! |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1726 |
Frankly, I found the standing desk obnoxious. |
1.1282 |
0.06550 |
39 |
35 |
3 |
1 |
1727 |
Depending on how you look at it, this is either a triumph of multitasking or the regrettable result of combining ADD with a Murphy bed. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1728 |
I see it's not going to be til death do us part, so may I, at least, have the fitted sheet that came with the mattress? |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1729 |
What?! I got your email about the meeting after Johnson said I could work from home. |
1.1282 |
0.07510 |
39 |
36 |
1 |
2 |
1730 |
Murphy, James Murphy! |
1.1282 |
0.05423 |
39 |
34 |
5 |
0 |
1731 |
Having that "going to work with no clothes on" dream again? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1732 |
My firm eliminated their hotel stipend. |
1.1111 |
0.04738 |
45 |
40 |
5 |
0 |
1733 |
What the hell am I supposed to do without my teddy bear? |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1734 |
Work, not home, is the priority, you said. And I refuse to take my work home. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1735 |
I got here on time but I'm not wearing pants. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1736 |
What do you mean "Horizontal is for Closers"? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1737 |
I'm on time, aren't I? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1738 |
It's push, push, push, all the way, all the time, right on down the line. Push, push, push! |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1739 |
Why do you call it 'comfy Friday' then??!! |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1740 |
I didn't want to be late for the meeting. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1741 |
Ready to Rumble |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1742 |
This bed rest is a lot of work. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1743 |
I work at The Circle. |
1.1111 |
0.07744 |
36 |
34 |
0 |
2 |
1744 |
What? It's Monday! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1745 |
"I'm still workin' on Casual Fridays. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1746 |
They overbooked my first class seat |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1747 |
I hate the new "weekend business casual" dress code. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1748 |
Micro naps improve my productivity. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1749 |
How else am I supposed to get any sleep? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1750 |
It's almost as good as a day off. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1751 |
Well I wouldn't be late if you let me wear my pajamas to work! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1752 |
You promised me a story. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1753 |
It's a commercial for bed, box, and brew. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1754 |
If I get horizontal, I'll miss my train in the morning. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1755 |
Alan, seriously, sleep deprivation is prevalent today and I'm no longer sleepy in the afternoons. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1756 |
I told you I would come to work even if too sick to get out of bed! |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1757 |
Go away, I'm taking my power nap. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1758 |
It's a power lunch and power nap rolled into one. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1759 |
Still not fast enough, now let's try this again. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1760 |
I'm good at multitasking. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1761 |
The doctor said I need 8 hours of sleep everyday, so... |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1762 |
It's Wednesday. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1763 |
So, I told the boss I refuse to take my work home with me, and.... |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1764 |
To succeed in business, you gotta think ahead. |
1.1111 |
0.07744 |
36 |
34 |
0 |
2 |
1765 |
You can't fire me I'm 'Bed Guy', everybody loves my bed antics! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1766 |
My doctor said it's good for my low back pain. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1767 |
Ok; but not if means gettting out of bed. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1768 |
My wife left me because she said our lovemaking was too formal. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1769 |
The doctor said I have to stay in bed, she didn't say I couldn't go back to work. |
1.1111 |
0.07744 |
36 |
34 |
0 |
2 |
1770 |
The rent is so high now days! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1771 |
Let's put this deal to bed, already! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1772 |
The pillow is uncomfortable. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1773 |
Well I'm here, aren't I?! |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1774 |
I've been up all night and haven't slept a wink. |
1.1111 |
0.07744 |
36 |
34 |
0 |
2 |
1775 |
When I called and said I was staying in bed and you fired me, I was shocked. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1776 |
I'll be working from home now. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1777 |
There's no lying down on this job! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1778 |
But the dress code says business casual! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1779 |
You've never had one of those days when you couldn't get out of bed? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1780 |
I woke up like this, alright? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1781 |
I thought you said this was undercover deal. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1782 |
Guess what? "I CAN do this job lying down!" |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1783 |
No, I wasn't sleeping, I was multi-tasking! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1784 |
Are you satisfied now? I told you I couldn't get out of bed today. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1785 |
Bring your bed to work day |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1786 |
I'm sorry, I must not have heard you right, tell me again, exactly HOW do I go the bathroom? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1787 |
Chadwick, this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted more work/life balance. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1788 |
Does this make me look fat? |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1789 |
I'm testing an idea for a new concept -- a Bed, Breakfast and Boardroom. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1790 |
You accuse me of sleeping on the job and think I'm going to take this lying down? |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1791 |
Self-care prevents burnout. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1792 |
You canceled our telecommute and I need my beauty rest. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1793 |
Gotta go back. I forgot my lightsaber. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1794 |
You told me to stay in bed. You didn't tell me to sleep. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1795 |
What do you mean this isn't a carry-on? |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1796 |
I have an early check out. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1797 |
It beats paying for a room! |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1798 |
No... I don't think I forgot to do anything this morning. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1799 |
I AM here for the 7am meeting! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1800 |
I promise I won't steal any towels. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1801 |
Hey! If it was a double bed, I'd have someone in here with me a whole lot better looking than you! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1802 |
I was all set for today's meeting - I just forgot to set the alarm! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1803 |
I sleepwalk. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1804 |
Go get me my bath and beyond. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1805 |
I'm disrupting Casual Friday. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1806 |
Don't worry. I'll nap when I get to the office. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1807 |
Sorry, man. This has a serious no subletting clause. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1808 |
...and it still can't get any thing done. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1809 |
This enables me to be productive with time normally spent commuting, dressing, or bathing. |
1.1111 |
0.07744 |
36 |
34 |
0 |
2 |
1810 |
The doctor said I shouldn't get out of bed. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1811 |
Power nap! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1812 |
I'll show you multi-tasking! |
1.1111 |
0.07744 |
36 |
34 |
0 |
2 |
1813 |
This TrumpCare sucks! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1814 |
This Business Class version of Airbnb needs improvement |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1815 |
It eliminates the commute. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1816 |
What difference does it make? I'm here. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1817 |
You told me to sleep on it. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1818 |
This isn't the role play I had in mind. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1819 |
Nobody rests harder than me. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1820 |
What makes you think I was sleeping on the job? |
1.1111 |
0.07744 |
36 |
34 |
0 |
2 |
1821 |
You asked me to come in a half hour early. What'd you expect?! |
1.1111 |
0.07744 |
36 |
34 |
0 |
2 |
1822 |
Sir, I told you I was stuck in bed! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1823 |
You said, "No lying down on the job." |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1824 |
My boss told me to go home and sleep on it. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1825 |
Do I look like I have time to work from home?!! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1826 |
At least this is better than last week, when I thought I was dreaming and came to work without my pants. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1827 |
Corporate told me to start multi-tasking! |
1.1111 |
0.07744 |
36 |
34 |
0 |
2 |
1828 |
I've mastered multitasking. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1829 |
Isn't it Bring Your Bed To Work Day? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1830 |
This is not what I meant when I said I needed some R and R. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1831 |
Hey! You said 'Get dressed and get to work.', you never said anything about getting out of bed! |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1832 |
How dare you say that I've been sleeping on the job? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1833 |
I'm done with flying coach. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1834 |
Ever since I got up this morning I feel like I forgot to do something |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1835 |
Consider the nap room obsolete |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1836 |
Geez Larry--don't you even know how to power nap? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1837 |
Doc says bed rest will lower the blood pressure. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1838 |
It's a protest against my employers. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1839 |
What memo? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1840 |
It's my next step. It's called working from home at work. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1841 |
"The doctor recommended that I take more naps". |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1842 |
What? Didn't you know it's "bring your bed to work day"? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1843 |
Overslept again Mr. Sandman ? |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1844 |
Those Metro-North train conductor was such a jerk this morning! |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1845 |
I am on United economy class |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1846 |
Don't dress for the job you have--dress for the job you want. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1847 |
The doctor put me on bed rest. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1848 |
I believe I'm in compliance with the new casual dress code policy. |
1.1111 |
0.06640 |
36 |
33 |
2 |
1 |
1849 |
What do you mean this is unacceptable! You told me not to hit the snooze button so I could be here 30min early. Well I'm here 30min early! Now leave me alone so I can get back to sleep and hit the snooze button a few times. |
1.1111 |
0.05312 |
36 |
32 |
4 |
0 |
1850 |
What? You have a standing desk. |
1.1081 |
0.06465 |
37 |
34 |
2 |
1 |
1851 |
I should never have told them how much I like the stand-up desk. |
1.1081 |
0.06465 |
37 |
34 |
2 |
1 |
1852 |
What? You’ve never heard of sleep working? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1853 |
Sometimes it's hard to get out of bed that early, but you avoid all the traffic. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1854 |
I take it you've not been on a business trip before, Jones? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1855 |
It's a daddy adventure back pack. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1856 |
Yeah, I know. The comfort package seemed like a good idea when I put in the order for my reclining workstation. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1857 |
Well, then, what DID you mean by 'coffee break'? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1858 |
I hate getting out of bed to go to work, OK? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1859 |
Getting through the tunnel was a nightmare this morning! |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1860 |
Ever since the election, I haven’t been able to get out of bed. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1861 |
You don't just get out of bed looking *this* good! |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1862 |
No, I'm not happy to see you. That banana is my breakfast. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1863 |
Then what exactly did you mean by ‘going to the mattresses’? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1864 |
Way better than that standing desk fad. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1865 |
I just can't seem to get out of bed this morning! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1866 |
I always sleep like this; I'm ready to go in the morning. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1867 |
I'm sleeping my way to the top. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1868 |
This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1869 |
I know it's not Halloween day, but this is going to be a long day; so I decided to come in dressed how I feel today, so don't mind me. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1870 |
Sleep is the new status symbol. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1871 |
I've done some of my best work on this bed. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1872 |
What? You haven't read "Swaddling for Executives"? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1873 |
I'm no morning person, so I get as ready as possible the night before a big meeting. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1874 |
Please don’t hit the red button again! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1875 |
It said "Tesla wants you to fall asleep in L.A. and wake up in NYC." Can you get me out of my seat belt though? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1876 |
It's like a standing desk, only with all the comforts of lying down. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1877 |
Boss, I AM getting work done telecommuting. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1878 |
Sir, did you order this cocked bed? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1879 |
It's not pretty, but it's gig-centric. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1880 |
"What's the big deal Gary? You have a standing desk. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1881 |
Well, at least I didn't get up on the wrong side of the bed. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1882 |
This is the last warning for sleeping on the job! |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1883 |
'Same day delivery and we can wrap up the deal' |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1884 |
I promise not to sleep on the job |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1885 |
Multitasking: you got a problem with that? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1886 |
I know, but you didn't think standing desks would take off either. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1887 |
I'm sorry but I just couldn't get out of bed today. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1888 |
If I can sell My Pillow, I certainly sell these other items on TV. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1889 |
I thought this would be my dream job |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1890 |
You see what I am saying about my working hours? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1891 |
The cleaners lost my pants! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1892 |
We need to talk about our "sleeping arrangement." Like most things, you get used to it. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1893 |
I have something in my teeth, don't I? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1894 |
I know you guys want an early start but this is ridiculous. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1895 |
Hey! Don't take me out of my comfort zone, man! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1896 |
Last week's trust fall didn't go as well as I had hoped. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1897 |
See if they snicker about my bed head now. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1898 |
I still think flying first class is a bargain. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1899 |
I'm tired of hearing I got up on the wrong side of the bed. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1900 |
I can do it in my sleep, Richard. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1901 |
Next thing you know we'll all be lounging around in our bath robes. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1902 |
But I've solved the problem about what side of the bed is the right side to get out on! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1903 |
I came to work in bed which appears to have angered you. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1904 |
Now if I could only figure out how to shower, I would never have to leave my bed |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1905 |
Pants are sooo last week! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1906 |
It used to just be breakfast. Now it's 3 squares and 12 hours on the job. I may never get out of bed..... |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1907 |
Those jokers over in HR found out about my narcolepsy. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1908 |
Mono? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1909 |
Well I mean you have heard of a standing desk right?! |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1910 |
What do you mean I'm always lying down on the job?!? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1911 |
Do I look like I slept well???? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1912 |
what do you mean the Ambien counters the coffee? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1913 |
It's not my fault, they only had decaf! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1914 |
...But you said you wanted a guy who could stand on his own two feet and be ready for anything |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1915 |
I told you, I'm not getting out of bed for that job. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1916 |
It may be a full-size mattress, but I have king-size ideas. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1917 |
If you hire me, I promise I'll work 24/7. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1918 |
I feel like the Center of the World. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1919 |
Asleep on the job sir?... Why that's absurd! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1920 |
Mr. Murphy, I see that you are finally ready to work! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1921 |
Like it? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1922 |
I'm a horizontal man in a vertical world. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1923 |
You didn't think I was getting out of bed for this, did you? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1924 |
Listen Dear, you said "Get dressed for work." I did it. What else do you want? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1925 |
I'm OK with cuts to the travel budget, but this is ridiculous! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1926 |
I had a little trouble getting out of bed this morning. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1927 |
There's no 'out there,' Jerome. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1928 |
I'm multi tasking per my employment agreement. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1929 |
I don't do decaf. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1930 |
"Not only do you show great dedication to the company Fred, but you don't even have the slightest 'bed head'! |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1931 |
I didn't get out of bed for this! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1932 |
Sure, I can work more hours but there's no place for my stuff. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1933 |
Everyone has a different comfort zone. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1934 |
But boss, I am the king of multitasking! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1935 |
Well, I'm still sleeping on it. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1936 |
Just be glad I wasn't in the bathroom when you called. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1937 |
Doc said bed rest, landlord said I still had to pay rent.. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1938 |
It rides like a dream. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1939 |
Can you believe they wanted me to gate check the mattress? They counted the pillow as my "personal item" |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1940 |
I couldn't quite get out of bed this morning. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1941 |
So easy I can do it in my sleep! |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1942 |
You call this a perk? I should never have left Google. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1943 |
I said I wasn't getting out of bed and I meant it. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1944 |
I'm your new Murphy assistant |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1945 |
And there's also a pajama option for weekends. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1946 |
The commute was hell this morning. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1947 |
The hotel bed sheets were tucked in too damn tight. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1948 |
It's all part of the 24/7 MO." |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1949 |
Where are the dog and the paper? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1950 |
What? I thought it was casual Friday |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1951 |
You told me you didn't want me working from home. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1952 |
I'm rested, got my espresso and your directives in my briefcase and ready to work in my cubicle, what's your problem? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1953 |
24/7 means 24/7. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1954 |
This is how we multi-task in Hypoluxo, Florida. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1955 |
Isn't this what going from the bedroom to the boardroom actually means? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1956 |
I'm here on time ready to go, isn't that enough? |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1957 |
I'll tell you, this new job is really cushy! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1958 |
I'm a lucid dreamer. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1959 |
I asked for two sugars. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1960 |
The commute was killing me, boss. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1961 |
I told you I need paid sick days. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1962 |
Sleep number infinity, baby. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1963 |
And that's MY superpower! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1964 |
Yeah, and how do you power nap? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1965 |
I can be a minimalist and still believe in bedside tables. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1966 |
I know Tom, no coffee in the bed. You're also not supposed to interrupt nap time. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1967 |
I'm ready |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1968 |
Murphy's Law, Murphy bed. No difference. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1969 |
Jim, I'm wait for an explanation as to why you put a sleeping bag over your mattress. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1970 |
I'm trying to juggle work and my life. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1971 |
This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I said you could work from home |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1972 |
I believe there IS room for sexual harassment in the workplace. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1973 |
I call it the human pocket guard. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1974 |
Plus, it has a full autonomous driverless mode. |
1.0938 |
0.06897 |
32 |
30 |
1 |
1 |
1975 |
I told you I'd never be late again ! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1976 |
I had trouble getting out of bed, OK? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1977 |
My doctor has confined me to bed. Where's our ten o'clock? |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1978 |
What do you mean this doesn't constitute 'work - life balance'! |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1979 |
Yes, I am tired of this conversation. |
1.0938 |
0.05235 |
32 |
29 |
3 |
0 |
1980 |
And they say we're not good at multitasking. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1981 |
I never take sick days off. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1982 |
I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1983 |
i must be dreaming |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1984 |
Take the briefcase and the mug. Otherwise, the airline will charge extra. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
1985 |
This IS a dream. Pinch me. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1986 |
The chocolate caramel was nice, but I requested a standing desk with my turndown service. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
1987 |
I'm out the door in 45seconds! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1988 |
"I'll get out of bed when I'm good and ready! Now let's finish this stupid briefing! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1989 |
I'm a 24/7 company guy. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
1990 |
I used to be a one-man band. I couldn't make a living so I gave in and went corporate. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
1991 |
I wasn't sleeping on the job! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1992 |
I have a feeling this is not going to make as good a novel. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
1993 |
Do you know how much I save with Err bnb? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1994 |
Why risk getting out on the wrong side? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1995 |
You asked me to "sleep on it!" |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1996 |
yeah, after last time, you can be sure that I wasn't going to risk getting up on the wrong side of the bed again. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
1997 |
So this is your idea of bed and breakfast? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
1998 |
He's having a whale of a time with that cat. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
1999 |
I'm ready for anything that comes along |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2000 |
What!? I thought you said it was casual Friday! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2001 |
Why do you keep calling me bed head? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2002 |
No I didn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2003 |
I thought you said I could work from home... |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2004 |
What did you expect??? I told you I put that deal to bed last night! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2005 |
Since the election, I can't get out of bed in the morning. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2006 |
I got lightheaded during baggage pickup. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2007 |
I know how it looks, but I save a lot of time on my commute. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2008 |
Tell me this is all just a bad dream. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2009 |
I don't get it! I'm here. I'm ready to go! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2010 |
It's hard to get out of bed when you keep bringing me decaf! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2011 |
I am not your breakfast sandwich! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2012 |
Well, my doctor told me I need to spend at least 8 hours a day in bed. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2013 |
You have a problem with a power nap!? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2014 |
If you're going to catch me sleeping on the job, I might as well make it worth your while. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2015 |
All right, all right, I'll volunteer to give up my seat. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2016 |
I'll be working at home today. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2017 |
When I asked for R & R ........ this is not what I had in mind. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2018 |
I'm in the third stage of sleepwalking. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2019 |
My doctor said I need another week of bed rest. Now let's kick some butt! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2020 |
I know, your wondering where the girl who sells kisses is. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2021 |
Haven't you ever pulled an all-nighter? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2022 |
"It's got a thousand different automated settings," she said. "How far will the bottom third fold over?" I said. "Let's try it," she said. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2023 |
Ishmael's a pussy. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2024 |
I took work home once too often. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2025 |
And just WHERE, might I ask, am I to find the lap for my laptop? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2026 |
You SAID I needed improvement in multi-tasking. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2027 |
I want to make sure to get the most out of your Powerpoint presentation today. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2028 |
And to think I left extra early to get a king size parking place and it was already full! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2029 |
I really need this job. Trust me. I can handle the commute. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2030 |
This is the working version of my dream. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2031 |
I suffer from a rare combination of OCD and narcolepsy. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2032 |
Nothing like a good night's sleep! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2033 |
I wake up ready. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2034 |
Who says you can't stay in bed and get ahead? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2035 |
I thought you said you wanted to maximize efficiency! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2036 |
If you don't fund this concept, you're crazy! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2037 |
I can do this job in my sleep! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2038 |
I know, I know...I'm late again ! But the whole trip took longer than I anticipated. And to top it off I couldn't get on the elevator and had to take the stairs. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2039 |
Why do you say time management is not my only problem? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2040 |
We've got to stop meeting like this. My wife's getting suspicious. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2041 |
Can't you see I'm standing firm towards your lack of support! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2042 |
What makes you think I'm disclosing information to our competition? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2043 |
When I say 'to the mattresses', you know what I mean !!! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2044 |
It's a mobile pea-detector, of course. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2045 |
Why would the client think I just want to sleep with them? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2046 |
I checked. There are no sick days in my contract. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2047 |
It was a helluva commute today. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2048 |
I wanted to assure you I will be working on your case day and night! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2049 |
I represent the Kardashians. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2050 |
I don't understand it either -- my wife told me that when I return home from work that I'm so exhausted that I'm worthless. She instructed me that it would be better if when I slept I remained erect. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2051 |
Why can't I do a bed-in for productivity? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2052 |
I brought my bed because my dog didn't want to come to work today. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2053 |
There's Nothing Like " My Pillow " Made In USA . |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2054 |
Excellent observation. Let me direct you to the Suggestion Box. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2055 |
Walk-outs are for wimps! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2056 |
I think my Roomba hooked up with my Sleep Number bed. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2057 |
I just got a frequent-flyer upgrade from UNITED AIRLINES. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2058 |
Are you telling me this is the new Business Class on the airlines????? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2059 |
Work or play, this mattress will keep you awake. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2060 |
I just didn't feel like getting out of bed. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2061 |
Well, it's better than having a monkey there. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2062 |
What? At least I'm on time. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2063 |
But you said I'd feel right at home working here. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2064 |
Let's agree we're both memory foaming at the mouth about this. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2065 |
The standing desk wasn't enough? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2066 |
Damn! I was just caught sleeping on the job again. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2067 |
Work life balance, my ass! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2068 |
Because I'm an efficiency expert and like to dress for work the night before. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2069 |
It's cutting edge - sleepworking |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2070 |
As you can see ,I have a firm case . |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2071 |
No, YOU have bed head!! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2072 |
Cheapest Bed & Breakfast I've ever had. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2073 |
Sorry I'm late. I couldn't get out of bed. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2074 |
OK. You won't let me work at home. Then I'll home at work. So there. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2075 |
Of course I'm applying for the Secret Service. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2076 |
Ridiculous, you say? THAT'S the attitude of someone who only sells 3 mattresses a week! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2077 |
And that was just before she said, "Oh yes we can!" |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2078 |
Caught behind a futon and a pul out sofa. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2079 |
So you think you can keep me from having a home office? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2080 |
My sleeping desk is just as effective as Steve's treadmill desk! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2081 |
Me on Monday |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2082 |
I don't know about you, but that was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2083 |
Didn't you tell me to stay in bed?!?!?... |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2084 |
Apparently, my sleep number is (the symbol for infinity). |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2085 |
My question to you is: Why aren't you wearing one? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2086 |
I call it sit-sleep. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2087 |
I've got my dream job. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2088 |
Telecommuting has not made my life any easier. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2089 |
I switched to Decaf! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2090 |
Well, now I have an excuse for sleeping on the job! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2091 |
I said 'BREAKFAST in bed,' Carl. Not 'BOARDROOM in bed.' |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2092 |
Then, when she asked me if I was married to her or to my work, I think that I might have hesitated |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2093 |
I know I'm late, just a little trouble on the subway. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2094 |
At night it easily folds up and fits in the back of an Uber. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2095 |
Don't touch me. I'm in first class. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2096 |
Its the latest in 24/7 executive office furniture. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2097 |
But you said it was Bring Your Bed to Work Day! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2098 |
I can live with the Murphy bed but not the lack of coffee or a desk. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2099 |
They can have standing desks, but I can't have a sleeping one? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2100 |
I got 99 problems but getting out of bed ain't one. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2101 |
You never heard of power naps? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2102 |
I told you a Murphy bed was a bad idea! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2103 |
I'm homing at work today |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2104 |
Let me sleep on it, I'll give you an answer in the morning... |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2105 |
"Your idea stinks. Increased productivity can't be our only goal". |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2106 |
I was trying to be a well rounded employee. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2107 |
Nobody multitasks better than I do. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2108 |
Working from home changed me in ways I never thought possible. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2109 |
You said to put the laying desk idea to bed |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2110 |
I do some of my best work in bed. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2111 |
I won't take this lying down |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2112 |
Just wake me up when you're ready to leave for work. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2113 |
So, Yeah! I was shopping for bedroom furniture. Last thing I remember was this guy Murphy pitching a bed he said would revolutionize how we sleep! Bada'Bing - I wake up wrapped like a Buritto! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2114 |
Alright, I'll take the couch tonight. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2115 |
You KNEW I had a twin! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2116 |
But you said this company was all about work/life balance. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2117 |
Doesn't this Rauschenberg look better with me in it? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2118 |
No Amtrak. No LIRR. No Jersey Transit. No MTA. No hotels! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2119 |
What work/life balance? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2120 |
My doctor diagnosed me with a bad case of bedsores. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2121 |
My doctor told me to stay in bed. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2122 |
Seriously? I go to all this trouble and the lack of sheets is the first thing you notice? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2123 |
I'm fine, thanks; except I feel kind of naked without a bottom sheet. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2124 |
Work from home. Home from work. What's the difference? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2125 |
I can't take this any more .. I want off this damn "My Pillow.com" account. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2126 |
And this "lying down on the job" how? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2127 |
This vertical integration initiative is out of control. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2128 |
Do I look like I just rolled out of bed? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2129 |
I AM up-and-at-'em! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2130 |
The bad news is that I just got bumped. The good news is I just got bumped. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2131 |
Look, I don't get out of bed for just any board meeting. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2132 |
It's called "work/like balance," Bill. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2133 |
What do you mean I took the "Work like you're home" policy too seriously?! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2134 |
You said I can work from my bed. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2135 |
You said "bed!" You didn't say anything about "rest." |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2136 |
It's for emotional support! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2137 |
What makes you think I'm asleep on the job? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2138 |
That's the last prenuptial I ever sign. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2139 |
Saves time in the morning. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2140 |
Johnson, the standing desk was fine, but this is too much. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2141 |
You said I could no longer sleep at my desk. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2142 |
THIS is my compensation for getting bumped?! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2143 |
Why buy a house when I can sleep at the office? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2144 |
The right way or the highway. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2145 |
I warned you that Murphy's Laws apply to his beds! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2146 |
Do I have enough rewards for a mattress and a refill!? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2147 |
This is not just another dysfunctional cult. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2148 |
How is this too casual? It's Friday! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2149 |
I told you, "No more sleeping at my desk." You're just impossible to please. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2150 |
I sleep hard and work harder. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2151 |
Boss says the company is gonna need us on call. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2152 |
Your job Wilson is to craft our mission statement. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2153 |
How dare you accuse me of sleeping on the job! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2154 |
It's the new iMultitask 7 Plus in satin, with 256GB of memory foam! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2155 |
It's the new thing, she said they're called 'Turn-down Service Pants' |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2156 |
And then a spring mechanism propels you out the front door. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2157 |
Whenever its raining, I can't figure out how to hold my umbrella. I find this is the best solution. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2158 |
I thought you said take your bed to work day! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2159 |
Go to bed? You KNOW I'm dyslexic! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2160 |
No, it's not a Firm mattress. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2161 |
It's Casual Friday, right? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2162 |
And it all fits under the seat in front of you. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2163 |
Hey... it's the newest trend at Google. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2164 |
Hey Bob, See what it looks like when you cry like a coddled man baby! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2165 |
When sleep is life, but you have bills to pay. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2166 |
Let's talk about my raise. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2167 |
You can blame this on all the overtime you've been pushing on me! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2168 |
Standing at my desk won't stop me from sleeping at work. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2169 |
My real Home/Office has become an airbnb! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2170 |
Don't even try! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2171 |
This is your Premium Economy? |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2172 |
Some call it 'manspreading' but I call it comfy! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2173 |
I thought you meant 'soft landing' for the business, not me! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2174 |
But everyone I know voted for Hillary. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2175 |
When I say 24/7, I mean 24/7. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2176 |
Sleeping on the job? How can you say that? |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2177 |
I haven't been seeing any downturn! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2178 |
Murphy's the name! Selling's my game. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2179 |
With our pop-up mattress your salesmen can be out hustling while the competition is still horizontal. |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2180 |
What am I doing? I’m standing up for myself |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2181 |
I'm not going to take this lying down anymore! |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2182 |
I'm still struggling with this telecommuting thing. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2183 |
'Why the smirk! all I said was, "I'm not taking this demotion lying down." |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2184 |
I ordered a standing desk, but this is what they sent. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2185 |
I'm trying to make bed partner. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2186 |
You said I should be available 24/7! |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2187 |
YOU said we can't work from home anymore.... |
1.0909 |
0.05082 |
33 |
30 |
3 |
0 |
2188 |
Just in case all the hotels are booked to the max. |
1.0909 |
0.06691 |
33 |
31 |
1 |
1 |
2189 |
It's the next phase in having a complete workstation. |
1.0882 |
0.06496 |
34 |
32 |
1 |
1 |
2190 |
You see what I am saying about my working hours? |
1.0882 |
0.04937 |
34 |
31 |
3 |
0 |
2191 |
I've cut my 10 minute power nap down to 5 - doesn't that count towards annual productivity goals? |
1.0882 |
0.04937 |
34 |
31 |
3 |
0 |
2192 |
Then I said, 'Tell me to make the bed one more time, Clarice.' |
1.0882 |
0.06496 |
34 |
32 |
1 |
1 |
2193 |
But I thought it was Take Your Mattress to Work Day |
1.0857 |
0.06313 |
35 |
33 |
1 |
1 |
2194 |
Just unwrap. Then touch Sleep Number 11. It's a full night's sleep plus somebody ready to go to work for you in the morning. |
1.0833 |
0.04672 |
36 |
33 |
3 |
0 |
2195 |
If you order a "short", they package it like this! |
1.0769 |
0.04323 |
39 |
36 |
3 |
0 |
2196 |
Couldn’t find my trousers anywhere … |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2197 |
At these prices, you should include a shelf. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2198 |
The new first class upright seating will take some getting used to. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2199 |
My first step, chief, to "keep the bedroom out of the boardroom." |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2200 |
Sleeping on the job |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2201 |
Your idea to build a driverless-bed prototype was sound, but it turns out I can’t sleep on a rolling mattress. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2202 |
What was I supposed to do with decaf? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2203 |
"The only way to get ahead," Tidwell said. Sheesh. Eighty-two hundred dollars later, and do I look like I'm getting ahead? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2204 |
There is no "one way" to deal with jetlag. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2205 |
This weekend, Wall Street's occupying me. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2206 |
Who has time for pants? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2207 |
Everybody else is getting to work at home, so I thought this would make sense. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2208 |
could do my job if there was a head board. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2209 |
Who could ask for anything more? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2210 |
The boss said I might have to sleep standing up. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2211 |
I've been up all night. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2212 |
YOU were the one who told me to show up undercover! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2213 |
This company's expectations are way too high. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2214 |
I had trouble getting out of bed this morning. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2215 |
Why do you think I've been laying down on the job? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2216 |
I'm just ready for the next derailment! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2217 |
The doctor said I had to stay in bed; he never said I couldn't come in. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2218 |
I can't even sink an interview in my dreams! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2219 |
Sorry I'm late. The Lincoln Tunnel was a nightmare. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2220 |
When I said I was willing to "eat, breathe, and sleep this company", I am not sure you really understood the memo boss. Can I go home now? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2221 |
Even as mayor, Bernie Sanders refused to get in bed with big business |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2222 |
Dad, can't you see I'm sleep working?! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2223 |
Would you believe Spring collection from Serta? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2224 |
I did say "hit the ground running," but this is a little extreme. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2225 |
I told you, I sleep alone! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2226 |
I'm working from home today! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2227 |
I'll sleep my way to the top if I have to. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2228 |
I tried switching to decaf. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2229 |
And then she said, "is this some cheap stunt to avoid paying for a hotel room .." |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2230 |
How much extra for the horizontal? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2231 |
The commute was terrible. I had an accident! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2232 |
James why are you on my bed?" "Im at work ok, its not as easy as it looks. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2233 |
Have you seen my fitted sheet? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2234 |
I came as quickly as I could. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2235 |
My wife said I need to work on my pillow talk |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2236 |
The wish that this could be true when you don't get enough sleep. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2237 |
No. YOU look tired. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2238 |
I thought it was too heavy with the sheets. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2239 |
You did say not to lie down on the job. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2240 |
I'm not taking this demotion lying down. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2241 |
Now, no one can tell me I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2242 |
Who said I'm not a standup guy? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2243 |
I said I was working from home today. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2244 |
You made me get out of house for this? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2245 |
The only reason I made it in was because of Uber Bed. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2246 |
This is a goofy idea. It will never sell. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2247 |
But you said the new office was a live-work space! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2248 |
"I am not laying down on the job! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2249 |
Tell Sandman to bring me a dream pronto. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2250 |
And the worst part is that I don't have any pants on! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2251 |
Sleep setting 11 isn't working out. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2252 |
Sorry I'm late, but getting a seat on the MetroNorth was ridiculous today! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2253 |
It's called efficiency!" "Now, kindly untuck me, I don't want to be late for work. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2254 |
Okay, so I got thrown out again. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2255 |
In my brief case? Ambien samples. Why do you ask? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2256 |
It's called the Sleep-Walker! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2257 |
This mug is only 9.99! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2258 |
Think of the money we'll save on hotel bills! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2259 |
Decaf. Maybe you already guessed. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2260 |
You would have to pay me 3x the going price! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2261 |
It's perfectly normal. You should try to get one for yourself. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2262 |
I heard, 'Take Your Bed to Work Day'. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2263 |
Enough with the evil twin jokes. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2264 |
First day on the job, andI didn't want to be late. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2265 |
It's a prototype. I'm supposed to be able to reach the gas pedal. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2266 |
H.R. told me I need to practice self care. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2267 |
I'll be up all night. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2268 |
Geez, give me a break, I already live at work, now you want to mandate my diet as well ? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2269 |
Yo're the one who said come prepared for a long day! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2270 |
I'm preparing for the soft landing. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2271 |
This is all your fault, Dad. If you guys would have me a few years earlier I wouldn't have ended up a millennial. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2272 |
Oh, so Johnson's the only one who gets a standing desk? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2273 |
You told me to stay in bed, so I brought my bed with me. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2274 |
My twin is running late. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2275 |
"Second breakfast break". |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2276 |
You don't see me complaining about working late! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2277 |
Next time I get the suite and you get the closet! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2278 |
I made it to the meeting on time, didn't I?! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2279 |
'Business casual' is entirely subjective |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2280 |
welcome to team Mr. Murphy |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2281 |
Everyone thinks I can instantly dream something up. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2282 |
Then don't schedule 7:30 AM meetings! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2283 |
Fine, the prosecution will rest its case! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2284 |
Does this make my butt look big? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2285 |
What's woke is work. drink, rest. now! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2286 |
What?! Never heard of the google bed. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2287 |
I knew I forgot something! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2288 |
What is sexually harassing about this? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2289 |
...and that is why I feel that I am the right person to be the product manager for Tylenol pm. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2290 |
You know I can't get out of bed without that first cup of coffee. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2291 |
Can't you wait till I'm out of bed before you get on my case? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2292 |
I said my favorite movie was Tuck Everlasting, then...POOF. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2293 |
My cost-cutting employer sees this as a substitute for a hotel room. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2294 |
For now it needs a forklift and driver, but I plan to add wheels. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2295 |
Are you blind, I don't have a bottom sheet. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2296 |
I'm in for the long haul. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2297 |
You bet I'm angry Mr. Murphy. Your bed is defective. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2298 |
Buy this stuff or I'll break your bones! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2299 |
My damn doctor said I had to stay in bed. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2300 |
this is a merry go round enjoyed it. we will make it hang on away we go where I don't know?? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2301 |
Put it on rollers and bought it to work. You got a problem with that? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2302 |
What jet lag? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2303 |
Why yes, Murphy, I'm stuck in your bed. Now get me out of here! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2304 |
The artist has the imagination of a southern baptist, |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2305 |
What good is 'anti-gravity comfort' with a 24 hour work day? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2306 |
I'm ready for 24/7, if you are . |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2307 |
When will you decide who gets the job? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2308 |
Hey, I can do the sleep in my job! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2309 |
Yeah, not exactly my dream job either, but I try to make the best of it.. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2310 |
It's not my fault. I got stuck in bed. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2311 |
So, this still doesn't say, "I'm workaholic" to you? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2312 |
How dare you accuse me of sleeping on the job! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2313 |
If you can work at home, why can't you home at work? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2314 |
I'm trying to get in touch with our new Murphy Bed account |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2315 |
Then they crept under the bed and tied me up with my own blanket. I'm lucky to be here at all, much less late. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2316 |
You try living in a pocket protector! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2317 |
You can tell him I don't get out of Murphy bed for less than ten thousand. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2318 |
I'm multi-tasking! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2319 |
Oh! How I hate to get up in the morning. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2320 |
Yes, I'm late! The airline wouldn't let me board! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2321 |
What makes you think you're not horizontal? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2322 |
It seemed like a good idea at the time. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2323 |
Well, you told me never to fall asleep at my desk again. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2324 |
I'm going to sleep my way into that corner office! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2325 |
I'll be boarding with my own blanket, pillow and coffee. What should I say to the cabin crew if they try to impose extra carry on fees? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2326 |
Stop trying to change me! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2327 |
But I took naps in college all the time! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2328 |
What about bathroom breaks? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2329 |
This living sculpture stuff always muddles me...Is this a clinomaniacally attached man or have we here some kind of unresolved swaddling fixation??? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2330 |
Sorry, doctor's orders. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2331 |
I'm upright and dressed; what more do you want? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2332 |
This fulfills your promise to 'send me college?' |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2333 |
What? I'm a multitasker. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2334 |
I got tired of my standing desk. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2335 |
Since I'm always on my laptop in bed, thought this would be cool. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2336 |
Multitasking big time. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2337 |
You said that my new promotion had more benefits |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2338 |
I downloaded the sleep app. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2339 |
I gave up my seat for overnight accommodations. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2340 |
I call it the Murphy Office. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2341 |
Well what else does one wear on the first day as an undercover salesman for Sleep Train? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2342 |
This isn't my idea of a working vacation. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2343 |
Just relax for once! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2344 |
I know its not exactly Wallace and Gromit, but it will do for now... |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2345 |
Check out these egyptian weave sheets. Check out these egyptian weave sheets. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2346 |
What? It's a total time saver. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2347 |
I am working on a study that says the sleeping desk is superior to the standing desk. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2348 |
I didn't get out of bed for this nonsense, jerry! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2349 |
But this way I'll never get out of the wrong side of bed again! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2350 |
... And then a woman on the 6 Train had the nerve to accuse me of bedspreading! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2351 |
I'm not going to take this lying down |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2352 |
I don't give a sheet. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2353 |
"So you're asking me to become a salaried employee".... |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2354 |
I can never get out of bed on Mondays, but I still have to work. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2355 |
You said business casual |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2356 |
I got tired of my standing desk. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2357 |
Another damn breakfast-in-bed meeting. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2358 |
Haven't you ever seen a power nap before? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2359 |
Armageddeon, sarmageddeon. Bring it on! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2360 |
You'll never be Grommit! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2361 |
You got me! I will pay my hotel bill when you let me out of this bed. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2362 |
I'm wearing Depends, OK? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2363 |
Whaddya mean I can't sleep at work |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2364 |
I always doze off at these stupid meetings anyway, so I figured I might as well be comfortable. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2365 |
I m NOT sick! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2366 |
I'm a morning person. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2367 |
I prefer sleeping on the job in the horizontal position... |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2368 |
It's my new form fitting mattresss...now I can't get it off. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2369 |
You order the Casper Accountant? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2370 |
No, I never sleep on the subway. Why do you ask? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2371 |
with all this work you give me I don't even have time to sleep |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2372 |
This is my virtual office. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2373 |
it's called "being efficient"! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2374 |
I'm sorry, Murphy's law is binding. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2375 |
Is this your idea of working from home? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2376 |
What do you mean "I can't multitask"?!? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2377 |
The reason IS, Sir, I work much more effectively after one of my power naps!! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2378 |
is it time to get up? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2379 |
Well, she liked to sleep in. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2380 |
You were serious when you said you didn't want to get out of bed this morning. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2381 |
Do I have to go to work right now? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2382 |
It's the latest thing in bedroom suites. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2383 |
Once an Eagle Scout, always an Eagle Scout: Be Prepared! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2384 |
I found it on trivago. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2385 |
I refuse to take this lying down! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2386 |
I just got here after commuting in my flatbed. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2387 |
I'm on staycation. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2388 |
Murphy, have I got a bone to pick with you! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2389 |
"I wish they would hurry up and develop the iBed"! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2390 |
It's called the Beddie. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2391 |
"I am not laying down on the job! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2392 |
I just couldn't get out of bed today. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2393 |
Might not be my dream job, but at least this way, I can dream about it anywhere! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2394 |
You said make yourself at home! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2395 |
I didn't choose the bed life, the bed life chose me. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2396 |
this is an excellent product. It comes with two sherpas and a llama. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2397 |
I thought you said that desks were obsolete, and now you're saying they are no longer obsolete?! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2398 |
This mattress screams success, money, power; alas, not children. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2399 |
Doctor said I need complete bed rest. But a guy's gotta work. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2400 |
Beats the treadmill desk. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2401 |
At least I didn't sleep in! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2402 |
Wha'da'ya mean? I've always been a stand-up guy! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2403 |
Wake me up when the Wall Street bell rings. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2404 |
Dad, a lot has changed since the days of your Chase training program. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2405 |
What? I was having trouble getting out of bed today! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2406 |
It's this firm. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2407 |
Of course I have something on under here. Does your momma do windows? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2408 |
Listen, it's not my fault. I literally couldn't get out of bed this morning. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2409 |
You win. I won't tell anyone you removed the tag. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2410 |
Working late every night ...something had to give |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2411 |
You're the one who scheduled a breakfast meeting on Father's Day. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2412 |
Get out of my face, Mankoff |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2413 |
But the mug is empty, the briefcase fits carry-on rules, and this is my normal business trip attire - please let me board! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2414 |
But you told me to work on my tempur! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2415 |
This standing desk is hardly a dream come true! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2416 |
No, I said with warm milk. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2417 |
Can't you see I'm trying to have a work/life balance? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2418 |
I'm going first class |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2419 |
In my right hand is a mug. In my left a briefcase. Thus sayeth the Lord, the judgments of the Lord are almighty indeed. Oh yes. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2420 |
This is very unique. I'll take it. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2421 |
So we can take naps at our stand-up desks! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2422 |
He never understood the concept of "Sleep-in Fridays". |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2423 |
Do you think this Unicorn pastry will catch on? A thousand threads of Egyptian Cotton with washed in Tide cinnamon drizzle. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2424 |
Those subway seats are impossible. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2425 |
You said Fridays were casual. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2426 |
Murphy, I already told you that this is my bed. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2427 |
Someone forgot to un-tuck me this morning! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2428 |
You have to leave - this hotel is overbooked. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2429 |
I'm just resting my eyes on the job. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2430 |
The boss told me to make myself at home. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2431 |
See? I'm no couch potato. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2432 |
I only promise you I won't be late at work. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2433 |
All I need is a urinal! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2434 |
Men can have it all too. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2435 |
It's the new standing desk! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2436 |
College loans, no problem. Off to Wall Street training program. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2437 |
Bed and Breakfast meeting. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2438 |
It's my constitutional right to not get out of bed! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2439 |
Wait- What?! The governments not shutting down?! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2440 |
I might have had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2441 |
Unlike you, I have no problem multitasking! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2442 |
Bill, we can't keep meeting like this |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2443 |
Oh, right.. So it's only 'clever' when you multi-task is it!? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2444 |
I can't help it. The standing desk's just got me so tired. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2445 |
It's time to put our rivalry to rest. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2446 |
What's wrong with thinking outside of the box spring? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2447 |
I don't care what the efficiency expert told you. In the real world sleep can't be an element of multi-tasking. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2448 |
What makes you think I'm feeling jet lag? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2449 |
They say it drives itself, but I still try not to doze off. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2450 |
'Prompt, efficient, and upright.' |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2451 |
Why are you griping? I made it in. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2452 |
Here at Bed n Business there's only one choice for breakfast -- I Hop. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2453 |
It's a free trial offer. If I don't like it I have to send it back in two days. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2454 |
And it's self-driving. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2455 |
It's zoned for live/work, right? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2456 |
Merger? That was just pillow talk. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2457 |
It's the new Samsonite compact travel kit. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2458 |
Bath and Beyond should be here any minute. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2459 |
I'm more productive when I can incorporate a nap in my workday. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2460 |
Oh, yeah? Well I'll take the mat to you on this. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2461 |
Because I'm a millennial! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2462 |
ABC boss, Always Be Comfy |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2463 |
Haven't you heard? "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise" |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2464 |
This place keeps me up all night. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2465 |
What are you, some sort of professor of Ergonomics? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2466 |
I'm not moving till this nightmare election is over. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2467 |
I've solved the whole "work/life" balance thing! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2468 |
It gives me a spring in my step. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2469 |
Well, you wanted to see my home office. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2470 |
Check out "SLEEPAHGO!!! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2471 |
It's for the breaks, Steward. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2472 |
But it's a real time-saver. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2473 |
"But my back feels wonderful.' |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2474 |
And THAT'S how you ease into the morning, Simmons. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2475 |
It's called sleepworking! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2476 |
It's an accommodation for Sleep Deprivation Disorder, so what? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2477 |
Sir, I'm ready to pull an all nighter. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2478 |
Staying in bed longer is NOT lowering my stress levels. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2479 |
Who did you expect, Rauschenberg? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2480 |
Heard of a working nap? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2481 |
I'm sorry I'm late, but I had a bitch of a time getting a cab. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2482 |
I've finally found the secret. Life is one long coffee break |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2483 |
I tried eating standing up but it wasn't enough. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2484 |
Ready? I was BORN ready! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2485 |
Those damn ALIENS glued me to my bed,I can handle blue ALIENS ,but those grey alien are out of this world |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2486 |
Stop telling me I'm falling asleep on the job! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2487 |
Allow me to introduce the Commuting Bed-mobile...the next Shark Tank sensation! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2488 |
Yes I am wearing pants. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2489 |
Psycho analysis quickie on way to work. "So I have anxiety. You're a genius." |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2490 |
I don't want to hear one word about "bed hair"! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2491 |
If you need my services, feel free to call me anytime. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2492 |
I'm starting today. Could you show me to my cubicle? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2493 |
It's called tiny apartment living! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2494 |
It's the latest rage, all millenials do it. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2495 |
" The sheets are in the dryer". |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2496 |
My head will not rest on the desk again. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2497 |
I persist with the mattress until my accusers recant their claims of sexual harassment! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2498 |
The alarm didn't go off. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2499 |
I've found that I'm really a morning person. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2500 |
The doctor put me on bed rest. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2501 |
You told me I need to multitask, sir. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2502 |
Only you would complain that the bed isn't made right! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2503 |
It's my week to be on call |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2504 |
My boss is ADHD; I never know when he is going to need me. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2505 |
But babe, you told me you're really into your work! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2506 |
Followed Doc's orders .... and still didn't use a sick day. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2507 |
It's our new travel policy |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2508 |
I'll have to sleep on your idea that I'm sleeping on the job. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2509 |
"It comes with wheels, naturally, and an umbrella. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2510 |
I'm not in this for the money, I love this job. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2511 |
Once a Boy Scout, always a Boy Scout. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2512 |
They are accusing me of being in bed with my clients! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2513 |
Stop your harrumphing and fill my cup. I had enough trouble on the subway this morning. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2514 |
What's your problem? I eat sleep and breath work |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2515 |
Bedroom...boardroom...all the same. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2516 |
But this is decaf! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2517 |
Yes, yes, I'm 'LGBTQ'--but it's all just business. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2518 |
You should see the looks I get on the train. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2519 |
This way, I can bill the client while I'm sleeping |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2520 |
A standup guy is a stand up guy. I'm a standup guy! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2521 |
Well, you did say the "standing desk policy" starts this week |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2522 |
You said I'd start in the zzzmail department, Dad. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2523 |
Here's what I like best -- made and assembled in the U.S.. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2524 |
Oh, come on, I never sleep in. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2525 |
What, you didn't have a problem with the standing desk! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2526 |
The focus group was right - add Segway to this baby. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2527 |
What? You said at Simmons we live the brand. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2528 |
You told me to be more efficient. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2529 |
Bedbugs? BYOB! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2530 |
I'm multi-tasking! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2531 |
My pants are at the cleaners. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2532 |
I'm scheduled to work at home today |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2533 |
I was told this would be a Skype meeting. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2534 |
I got bumped, they were short of cash, I got this. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2535 |
This heaven can be yours for only $295 a night. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2536 |
Suck it, man. I'm the Urber Bed Customer of the Week. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2537 |
This is MY JOB, for Heavens Sake! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2538 |
Can I return to economy class? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2539 |
Mr. Thompson said "Let's put this project to bed." |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2540 |
But boss, I'm the master of multitasking! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2541 |
I plan to sleep my way to the top. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2542 |
The Accidental Tourist |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2543 |
Don't accuse me of laying down on the job! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2544 |
I thought it was Saturday. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2545 |
I just can't get the hang of telecommuting. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2546 |
So the company is cutting back on my per diem, eh? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2547 |
Rauschenberg's nightmare |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2548 |
Don't just stand there Johnson, go get me my pants. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2549 |
I told you I was finally going to put this project to bed. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2550 |
Is my calendar the only one with Bring Your Mattress to Work Day? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2551 |
I heard Obamacare has been defunded |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2552 |
Management insists that we multi-task; I oblige. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2553 |
I just can't take this laying down! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2554 |
What? Don't you know it's casual Friday? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2555 |
I just can't get out of bed until I've had that first cup of coffee! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2556 |
I said 'First Class' NOT 'Mattress Class' you idiot! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2557 |
One more train delay, and I’m calling Penn Station home. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2558 |
And I'm telling you, this is workplace attire. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2559 |
Ready to sleep to the top! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2560 |
I thought you said we were sleeping partners |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2561 |
George has always been a stand up kind of guy |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2562 |
It's my hedge against inflation. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2563 |
It looks so easy when Svengoolie does it. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2564 |
Is this morning or night? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2565 |
So I hired this efficiency expert. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2566 |
Sorry I'm late, but I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2567 |
Go ahead, spit it out. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2568 |
What? Haven't you heard of a standing bed? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2569 |
SO, YOUR MEETINGS ARE BORING! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2570 |
I promise you- you will never be late for work again! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2571 |
Huh? I am ready for anything. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2572 |
It's Air B&B. Note how it sticks up into the air. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2573 |
You've heard of a working girl, right? Well, I'm a working guy. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2574 |
I could have sworn today was wear your bed to work day! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2575 |
This way, if I spill, it doesn't matter. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2576 |
I was very firm with the client, but not too firm. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2577 |
I forgot to get out of bed this morning. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2578 |
Are you sure you're sick? You've been calling in sick to work for 2 weeks now without a proper reason... |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2579 |
I'm multitasking from home. East, drink, work, sleep. Plus no commuting fees. It's called "me care". |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2580 |
What?.. It's the new snuggie |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2581 |
Haven't you ever had one of those days where you just can't seem to get out of bed? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2582 |
And no, I'm not happy with company's new health plan! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2583 |
This way, I don't have to get up in the morning! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2584 |
Could you give me a push on your way out tonight? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2585 |
What? This is work life balance! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2586 |
Well you tell the travel agent that this is not what's meant by "bed and breakfast." |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2587 |
This is why I drive a Humvee! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2588 |
I thought you said 'Asleep Aide'! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2589 |
You told me to be ready for the next deadline! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2590 |
So what if I'm having a bed day? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2591 |
Okayyyy.....would you believe it's a statement against campus assault? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2592 |
You too can be Matress Man, the avenger of insomnia and sleepless nights. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2593 |
Tilt me back and we'll talk when I'm comfortable. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2594 |
Deal with this, Mr. 24/7! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2595 |
This mandatory overtime is killing me. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2596 |
That wasn't what I meant by work-life balance. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2597 |
What does a guy have to do to get a cubicle around here? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2598 |
It's the latest rage from Tokyo for high density urban living! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2599 |
Bed, Breakfast, and Beyond |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2600 |
It has been hell on my sex life. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2601 |
Working from home's a breeze; it's the commute that's killing me! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2602 |
You mentioned the commute. Our Murphy transit-cutter model is for the man on the go who hasn't got the to be on the go. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2603 |
If this bed is overbooked, get ready for a public relations fiasco. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2604 |
I'm betting that Organized Labor won't dare to touch this new paradigm. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2605 |
No, I'm not waking up from a nap. I eat, drink and sleep my work! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2606 |
Well it can't be the WRONG side! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2607 |
I just said I had a high, comfortable and upright position |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2608 |
Show me in the dress code where this is not allowed. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2609 |
Designed for the modern salesman, this bed comes equipped with a "Pop up" feature. It gets you up, dressed, and caffeinated at 6:30 am sharp! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2610 |
My life coach wanted me to have a spring in my step at work. We compromised. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2611 |
It's not a metaphor. But, yes, I haven't had my morning latte. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2612 |
May cause nausea, drowsiness or sleepworking... |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2613 |
Rupert wrote a memo? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2614 |
I couldn't get out of bed this morning, but at least I got dressed. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2615 |
Work, sleep, work, sleep....I got confused. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2616 |
She says I'm too dedicated to my work. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2617 |
And it makes a great home office deduction. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2618 |
My little travel pack. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2619 |
I was told I need to improve my efficiency and time management. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2620 |
I can't get here any earlier. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2621 |
I get to sleep in every morning now that I’ve got a self-driving car. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2622 |
It started out as bed head and spread from there. Don't touch me, it's contagious |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2623 |
I'll see your 24/7 work ethic and raise you my supernatural power to hover over you. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2624 |
My company has slashed its travel expense accounts. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2625 |
Of course I'm late. I had to change on the subway. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2626 |
It anticipates casual friday. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2627 |
I'm so mixed up I don't know whether I'm at my stand-up desk, commuting, or working at home! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2628 |
Yeah, there's a point! It's supposed to cure my work-related somnambulism. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2629 |
I do my best thinking when I'm totally rested. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2630 |
I didn't forget my briefs, Dan! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2631 |
Don't laugh til you've gotten YOUR forty winks! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2632 |
Stop calling me a workaholic! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2633 |
It's not great, but I won't be late |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2634 |
My best ideas hit me in bed. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2635 |
You distinctly said this was an undercover job sir! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2636 |
Fluffy always saves me from my compulsive tendencies. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2637 |
I can sleep an extra 30 minutes! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2638 |
But where's my blankie? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2639 |
I'm not ashamed anymore -- I am nocturnal. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2640 |
No more Monday morning meetings! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2641 |
And the bottom half takes care of itself. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2642 |
It's a standing bed |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2643 |
Where are my roller skates? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2644 |
it's called "being efficient"! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2645 |
Hey! YOU said "A working vacation!" |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2646 |
My sleep number turned out to be Pi. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2647 |
You are looking at the Next Big Thing, the home office of the future! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2648 |
You think I don't know I'm tucked? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2649 |
It's the 'Murphy's Law' bed. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2650 |
You're finally treating your restless leg syndrome. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2651 |
Running late. No Uber. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2652 |
Do you see how my working from home can benefit others, too? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2653 |
Do I look happy that you laid off half the staff? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2654 |
My Sleep Number is zero. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2655 |
The name is M-U-R-P-H-Y. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2656 |
It's how astronauts do it. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2657 |
Oh, sure! Give the promotion to the guy who ISN'T bedridden! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2658 |
I want an update on Goldilocks v. Bears and I want it on my desk NOW! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2659 |
Early to bed, early to rise. OR I'm a light sleeper. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2660 |
For your prices I was expecting civet coffee! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2661 |
A well rested employee is a productive employee. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2662 |
Of course, these are temporary arrangements 'til things blow over... |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2663 |
What do you mean you're sacking me! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2664 |
Some mornings I just can't get out of bed |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2665 |
I really want to put our issues you bed |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2666 |
There's no time for bed rest when you want to make partner. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2667 |
Stop calling me Murphy. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2668 |
I have decided to quit my day job. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2669 |
"I pulled an all-niter on this project"! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2670 |
I'm living proof that you can still sleep your way to the top. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2671 |
Sick days in today's economy. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2672 |
I call it the sleepwalker |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2673 |
We should of bought the box spring from Sleepy's. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2674 |
Then you'd better start reimbursing me for milage and parking! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2675 |
We don't all have the luxury of sleeping at home like you, Gary. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2676 |
I'm still feeling restless" "Oh really? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2677 |
They kicked me off the subway just because I nap differently. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2678 |
Bill, I think you've flipped your mattress. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2679 |
What? Sleep is the new status symbol. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2680 |
It's not like I didn't warn you that getting me into bed would be the easy part. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2681 |
What?! I'm multi-tasking! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2682 |
I will not take that demotion lying down! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2683 |
I thought I told you that I was telecommuting today. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2684 |
What do you mean I got up on the wrong side of the bed? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2685 |
So tell "Mr. Wonderful" I want One Million Dollars for Ten Percent of my Company. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2686 |
I thought it would save me time in the morning, but I still couldn't get out of bed. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2687 |
Now I can work at may stand-up desk when I’m sick in bed. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2688 |
It was supposed to be a power nap, not a timeout. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2689 |
Believe me, Bob. I got it covered! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2690 |
This coffee is keeping me up!!! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2691 |
'Well, you did tell me to in-bed myself'. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2692 |
I was hired to work from home so, call it a compromise. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2693 |
"Hire me"! "My work ethics are exceptional"! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2694 |
What are you doing on my wall, Billy? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2695 |
Well, I've already sold 150 to Mar_a_Lago. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2696 |
I swear! My inflight dreams were about trade deals and the tax code! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2697 |
You might as well get me a standing desk now. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2698 |
I'm up and raring to go. I just need them to put my legs back on. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2699 |
What happened to business casual? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2700 |
Thought all I had to do was show up! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2701 |
Al, you're pitching a 100 thread-count idea to a 400 thread-count guy. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2702 |
It helps me get a little shut-eye on the train. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2703 |
Today's meeting is shaping up to be a long one. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2704 |
A Murphy bed for the man wavering between homelessness and being an executive. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2705 |
Seriously, I save a ton on dry cleaning. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2706 |
I'm sleeping my way to the top, so what? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2707 |
You knew when you hired me that my last name was Murphy! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2708 |
I've returned from the filibuster that wasn't. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2709 |
Ready to go! Just give my security bed a push. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2710 |
You can get these now, or sleep on your old mattress and wait for the tooth fairy. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2711 |
I'll say he was a great salesman, I thought a commuter bed was a great idea. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2712 |
I fully intend to lay down the deal, Brenden. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2713 |
Work-life balance. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2714 |
What? This was faster than putting on pants. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2715 |
I'm all packed up and ready to go. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2716 |
What's wrong with ordering a bed and breakfast, to go? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2717 |
Do you want me to be on time or not?! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2718 |
I'm taking a sick day! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2719 |
I was just demoted from full size to twin. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2720 |
Can you believe the nerve of my doctor, ordering me to stay in bed because he thinks I'm a workaholic? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2721 |
Feeling a bit over the weather today. I'll be sleeping from work. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2722 |
So when she goes into labor I am ready to go! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2723 |
Without a coffe cup holder and a briefcase latch, it's just a nothing burger. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2724 |
I think my wife may be having an affair with our efficiency expert. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2725 |
Sorry, boss, I just couldn't get outta bed this morning. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2726 |
I was promised I could make money while I sleep. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2727 |
The boss wants efficiency. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2728 |
CHANGE MY BATTERIES. CHANGE MY BATTERIES. CHAnge my ba-------. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2729 |
The bus was early. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2730 |
The application did say "any reasonable accommodations" |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2731 |
Who says you can't have it all? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2732 |
It's the ultimate "tiny house"... |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2733 |
Damn efficiency experts. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2734 |
I still don't understand why you won't let me work from home! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2735 |
The doctor calls it "modified active bedrest". |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2736 |
This is not what I expected for my prepaid burial. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2737 |
Just saying, They have medications for that ! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2738 |
I'm a door-to-door salesman. I sell beds. You got a problem with that? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2739 |
Hey, you power nap your way and I'll power nap mine! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2740 |
I think this will help me dream up some new product ideas... |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2741 |
We're both competing for partner. We're overworked, exploited and sleep-deprived, but now I've got the edge! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2742 |
Because we only had decaf in the house, that's why. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2743 |
I resent the implication that I'm constantly taking breaks instead of working. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2744 |
Their latest way to fit more seats on each plane. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2745 |
As part of our new perpetual PBS pledge drive, we're offering all you night owls a sturdy coffee mug at the Entry level, and a classic lunch box to our Studio Friends! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2746 |
What do you mean "inappropriate attire" for working at home? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2747 |
And, yes, this is the same suit I wore yesterday. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2748 |
Yeah, but the wife and I did have a darn good view of the Saint Patrick's Day parade! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2749 |
I was also promised a continental breakfast! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2750 |
My friend Murphy recommended it... why do you ask? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2751 |
I'm a multi-tasker" |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2752 |
8888888 |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2753 |
The boss tied my sleep number to my sales quota. I might not get out of bed until the end of the month. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2754 |
They told us to be telework ready. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2755 |
I WILL NOT BE LATE AGAIN !! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2756 |
Give it to me straight, Wallace. How come no one will go out with me? |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2757 |
I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000 an hour and a caramel macchiato! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2758 |
Well you asked me to it this deal to bed, didn't you? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2759 |
I swear I wasn't napping! |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2760 |
Is my tie straight? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2761 |
I was sleepless in Seattle. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2762 |
Because I'm not wearing any pants, that's why. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2763 |
$10,000 or not, I am not leaving my first-class bed, even if I have to sleep standing up all the way to Tokyo. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2764 |
I still have a miserable cold, but I'm out of sick days. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2765 |
Casual Friday. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2766 |
I decided to bring home to my work life for a change. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2767 |
Goggy. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2768 |
My self-managing homelife module still has a few bugs. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |
29 |
28 |
0 |
1 |
2769 |
My sleep number is approaching 100%. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2770 |
Don't just "yes sir" me, Brad. I want a bedtime story. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2771 |
Now this is the "home-to-office" commuter service that is even more efficient than Uber. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2772 |
Wait! If Alan has a therapy dog, why can't I have this? |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2773 |
This is not the best time to ask for a raise. |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2774 |
Telecommuting? This is just taking it too far! |
1.0690 |
0.04789 |
29 |
27 |
2 |
0 |
2775 |
You know how everyone complains about our email system? Problem solved. |
1.0690 |
0.06897 |