Rank |
Caption |
Mean |
Precision |
Total votes |
"Unfunny" votes |
"Somewhat funny" votes |
"Funny" votes |
0 |
Wow, you are literally a hot mess. |
1.8412 |
0.04498 |
403 |
201 |
65 |
137 |
1 |
No, I recommended exorcism, not exercise. |
1.8361 |
0.03534 |
604 |
285 |
133 |
186 |
2 |
" I can only make out : ' ... is required IMMEDIATELY ' . |
1.8349 |
0.03317 |
648 |
293 |
169 |
186 |
3 |
From the ashes, your bill will magically appear. |
1.8326 |
0.04141 |
460 |
226 |
85 |
149 |
4 |
The good news is this disease will be named after you. |
1.6755 |
0.04526 |
302 |
158 |
84 |
60 |
5 |
As you can see, we take patient confidentiality very seriously. |
1.6738 |
0.04589 |
279 |
142 |
86 |
51 |
6 |
Let's handle the burning questions first. |
1.6724 |
0.04491 |
293 |
150 |
89 |
54 |
7 |
I'm going to refer you an exorcist in your network. |
1.6580 |
0.04806 |
269 |
145 |
71 |
53 |
8 |
Your wife said it's best if you don't know who the father is. |
1.6561 |
0.05180 |
253 |
144 |
52 |
57 |
9 |
Actually, this time, it is as bad as it looks. |
1.6545 |
0.05683 |
191 |
103 |
51 |
37 |
10 |
The tests do confirm you are a flaming asshole. |
1.6468 |
0.05287 |
235 |
133 |
52 |
50 |
11 |
So the labs all come back normal, but I’d still like to get you to an exorcist. |
1.6444 |
0.05216 |
239 |
135 |
54 |
50 |
12 |
We finally got a reply from your insurance. |
1.6414 |
0.05118 |
237 |
131 |
60 |
46 |
13 |
Any family history of spontaneous combustion? |
1.6414 |
0.05118 |
237 |
131 |
60 |
46 |
14 |
Damn it Jim, I’m a doctor, not an exorcist! |
1.6162 |
0.04878 |
198 |
99 |
76 |
23 |
15 |
I think there's a good chance this'll be named for you. |
1.6162 |
0.05747 |
198 |
117 |
40 |
41 |
16 |
I recommend plenty of liquids. |
1.6158 |
0.05410 |
203 |
114 |
53 |
36 |
17 |
We still don't know what you have, but we're pretty sure it's biblical. |
1.6150 |
0.05337 |
200 |
110 |
57 |
33 |
18 |
Honestly, I wouldn't even bother putting your pants back on. |
1.5989 |
0.05848 |
177 |
103 |
42 |
32 |
19 |
We found a match |
1.5932 |
0.05907 |
177 |
105 |
39 |
33 |
20 |
In this case, the best treatment is diet and exorcism. |
1.5920 |
0.05283 |
174 |
92 |
61 |
21 |
21 |
Nothing that bed rest and an exorcism won't fix. |
1.5920 |
0.05408 |
174 |
94 |
57 |
23 |
22 |
Well, it's definitely not a cold. |
1.5882 |
0.05508 |
170 |
93 |
54 |
23 |
23 |
Looks like it's just general inflammation. |
1.5858 |
0.05662 |
169 |
95 |
49 |
25 |
24 |
If you look closer at my degree on the wall, you'll notice it actually says infernal medicine. |
1.5833 |
0.06232 |
156 |
93 |
35 |
28 |
25 |
Your test results are a bit alarming. |
1.5828 |
0.05955 |
163 |
95 |
41 |
27 |
26 |
I'm sure this is just a temporary flare-up. |
1.5813 |
0.05846 |
160 |
91 |
45 |
24 |
27 |
It's pretty clear that you haven't been taking your anti inflammatory drugs. |
1.5786 |
0.05670 |
159 |
88 |
50 |
21 |
28 |
I can't help you. I'm referring you to an exorcist. |
1.5786 |
0.05307 |
159 |
83 |
60 |
16 |
29 |
Sorry, Jim. Unfortunately, what happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas. |
1.5786 |
0.06011 |
159 |
93 |
40 |
26 |
30 |
Have you tried exorcising? |
1.5786 |
0.06077 |
159 |
94 |
38 |
27 |
31 |
The Priest will be here for the exorcism soon. |
1.5769 |
0.05826 |
156 |
88 |
46 |
22 |
32 |
The results came back positive as Hell. |
1.5759 |
0.05629 |
158 |
87 |
51 |
20 |
33 |
The good news is you're covered under your fire and casualty insurance. |
1.5759 |
0.05976 |
158 |
92 |
41 |
25 |
34 |
Got your results back. They look like hell. |
1.5714 |
0.05961 |
154 |
89 |
42 |
23 |
35 |
Just a guess, but are you feeling a burning sensation? |
1.5695 |
0.05678 |
151 |
83 |
50 |
18 |
36 |
Your inflammation appears to be spreading. |
1.5616 |
0.06068 |
146 |
85 |
40 |
21 |
37 |
Sir, you really need to see an Exorcist! |
1.5594 |
0.06629 |
143 |
90 |
26 |
27 |
38 |
It appears to be an inflammation. |
1.5586 |
0.06102 |
145 |
85 |
39 |
21 |
39 |
I'm not sure you'll be able to handle this. |
1.5586 |
0.06102 |
145 |
85 |
39 |
21 |
40 |
It''s just a flare-up. |
1.5571 |
0.06353 |
140 |
84 |
34 |
22 |
41 |
I'll be honest, it's not the best sign. |
1.5532 |
0.06075 |
141 |
82 |
40 |
19 |
42 |
I'll prescribe an anti-inflammatory. |
1.5481 |
0.06106 |
135 |
78 |
40 |
17 |
43 |
We take patient confidentiality very seriously here. |
1.5481 |
0.06106 |
135 |
78 |
40 |
17 |
44 |
Your lab tests look like hell! |
1.5481 |
0.06371 |
135 |
81 |
34 |
20 |
45 |
The good news? There's no need for a second opinion. |
1.5447 |
0.06556 |
123 |
73 |
33 |
17 |
46 |
Unfortunately, it's a pre-extinguishing condition. |
1.5420 |
0.06435 |
131 |
79 |
33 |
19 |
47 |
I'm referring you to an exorcist. |
1.5385 |
0.05795 |
130 |
72 |
46 |
12 |
48 |
We take your privacy very seriously. |
1.5385 |
0.06382 |
130 |
78 |
34 |
18 |
49 |
We've swapped 'repeal and replace' for 'crash and burn.' |
1.5366 |
0.06955 |
123 |
78 |
24 |
21 |
50 |
Make a wish |
1.5360 |
0.05962 |
125 |
70 |
43 |
12 |
51 |
It's giving you 10 commandments. |
1.5323 |
0.06106 |
124 |
71 |
40 |
13 |
52 |
"Fever" is not exactly the word for it. |
1.5289 |
0.06851 |
121 |
76 |
26 |
19 |
53 |
We can't keep giving you medicines for Bipolar Disorder every time your Exorcist is out of town! |
1.5285 |
0.06862 |
123 |
78 |
25 |
20 |
54 |
Good news. We found a match. |
1.5254 |
0.06884 |
118 |
74 |
26 |
18 |
55 |
When was your most recent flare-up? |
1.5254 |
0.06561 |
118 |
71 |
32 |
15 |
56 |
well, your test results are not what I hoped for. |
1.5250 |
0.06795 |
120 |
75 |
27 |
18 |
57 |
I'll consult an exorcist. |
1.5250 |
0.06478 |
120 |
72 |
33 |
15 |
58 |
Eternal damnation is a pre-existing condition. |
1.5229 |
0.07091 |
109 |
68 |
25 |
16 |
59 |
You're toast |
1.5175 |
0.07183 |
114 |
74 |
21 |
19 |
60 |
I'd better skip straight to the bad news. |
1.5175 |
0.06621 |
114 |
69 |
31 |
14 |
61 |
I hate the new patient records privacy procedures. |
1.5138 |
0.06972 |
109 |
68 |
26 |
15 |
62 |
The new Trumpcare has simplified our record keeping. |
1.5135 |
0.07337 |
111 |
73 |
19 |
19 |
63 |
I see you're still smoking. |
1.5047 |
0.06820 |
107 |
66 |
28 |
13 |
64 |
Unfortunately the fire department is out-of-network. |
1.5047 |
0.06420 |
107 |
63 |
34 |
10 |
65 |
So, your test results have set off a few alarms. |
1.5046 |
0.07094 |
109 |
70 |
23 |
16 |
66 |
Actually, it's worse than it looks. |
1.5046 |
0.06851 |
109 |
68 |
27 |
14 |
67 |
I'm afraid I have some bad news. I stored your test results on my Samsung Galaxy Note 7. |
1.5000 |
0.07265 |
108 |
71 |
20 |
17 |
68 |
Your heart is fine, but I'm worried about your soul. |
1.5000 |
0.07720 |
100 |
67 |
16 |
17 |
69 |
Your results appear to confirm inflammation. |
1.5000 |
0.06553 |
104 |
62 |
32 |
10 |
70 |
Yes, I'm afraid it's flared up again |
1.4950 |
0.06840 |
101 |
62 |
28 |
11 |
71 |
It's a medical miracle. Your bill is on fire but not consumed. |
1.4950 |
0.07123 |
101 |
64 |
24 |
13 |
72 |
Now would be a good time for that urine sample |
1.4900 |
0.07719 |
100 |
68 |
15 |
17 |
73 |
..and we take very seriously the privacy of your medical records. |
1.4900 |
0.06889 |
100 |
62 |
27 |
11 |
74 |
It's chartburn. I can help you with that. |
1.4900 |
0.07177 |
100 |
64 |
23 |
13 |
75 |
I'm afraid that was the good news. |
1.4848 |
0.06790 |
99 |
61 |
28 |
10 |
76 |
I'm going to need a urine sample. Quickly! |
1.4845 |
0.07046 |
97 |
61 |
25 |
11 |
77 |
Inflammation. You should see how we depict constipation. |
1.4787 |
0.07522 |
94 |
62 |
19 |
13 |
78 |
Let's just forget we ever did that test. |
1.4787 |
0.07051 |
94 |
59 |
25 |
10 |
79 |
This is not an attempt to win because I submitted another entry to avoid using profanity. I only want to know if minor (or major) profanity is allowed. This would have been my caption. Well, this x-ray proves it. You are a flaming asshole. |
1.4787 |
0.08107 |
94 |
66 |
11 |
17 |
80 |
The results are in... you're a pyromaniac |
1.4725 |
0.07048 |
91 |
57 |
25 |
9 |
81 |
I'm referring you to an exorcist. |
1.4725 |
0.07219 |
91 |
58 |
23 |
10 |
82 |
Now would be a good time for that urine sample |
1.4667 |
0.07932 |
90 |
62 |
14 |
14 |
83 |
Roast two marshmallows and call me in the morning. |
1.4667 |
0.07611 |
90 |
60 |
18 |
12 |
84 |
We got your urine sample back from the lab. We found that burning sensation you complained about. |
1.4659 |
0.07219 |
88 |
56 |
23 |
9 |
85 |
Have you visited any sites from the Old Testament in the last six months? |
1.4659 |
0.07398 |
88 |
57 |
21 |
10 |
86 |
You sure you wore a condom? |
1.4598 |
0.07276 |
87 |
56 |
22 |
9 |
87 |
Perhaps I should start with the good news |
1.4598 |
0.07457 |
87 |
57 |
20 |
10 |
88 |
The inflammation appears to be spreading. |
1.4598 |
0.07634 |
87 |
58 |
18 |
11 |
89 |
Your vital signs are good, but I'm a bit worried about you in the afterlife. |
1.4588 |
0.07588 |
85 |
56 |
19 |
10 |
90 |
The test not only indicates that you have six months to live, it also tells us where you'll be going. |
1.4588 |
0.07588 |
85 |
56 |
19 |
10 |
91 |
Your health is fine. It's your afterlife I'm concerned about. |
1.4588 |
0.08293 |
85 |
60 |
11 |
14 |
92 |
Well, it's more inflamed than we thought. |
1.4545 |
0.07744 |
77 |
50 |
19 |
8 |
93 |
Patient confidentiality is our number one priority. |
1.4524 |
0.07266 |
84 |
54 |
22 |
8 |
94 |
Your insurance plan requires me to torch any evidence of pre-existing conditions. |
1.4524 |
0.07651 |
84 |
56 |
18 |
10 |
95 |
I wouldn't start any long books. |
1.4524 |
0.07836 |
84 |
57 |
16 |
11 |
96 |
Believe me, you didn't want to know. |
1.4512 |
0.07187 |
82 |
52 |
23 |
7 |
97 |
You may experience a burning sensation... |
1.4512 |
0.07594 |
82 |
54 |
19 |
9 |
98 |
The good news? We can definitely rule out hypothermia. |
1.4512 |
0.07790 |
82 |
55 |
17 |
10 |
99 |
Now that I've taken down all the relevant information, patient privacy laws require that I burn your medical record. |
1.4512 |
0.07790 |
82 |
55 |
17 |
10 |
100 |
The good news is that your asbestos level is also high. |
1.4512 |
0.06755 |
82 |
50 |
27 |
5 |
101 |
On the bright side, your lipids look great. |
1.4444 |
0.07244 |
81 |
52 |
22 |
7 |
102 |
Please don't let this worry you. |
1.4444 |
0.07857 |
81 |
55 |
16 |
10 |
103 |
We've located a match. |
1.4444 |
0.07658 |
81 |
54 |
18 |
9 |
104 |
Given your lab results, I'd prefer that you don't touch anything on your way out. |
1.4444 |
0.07027 |
81 |
51 |
24 |
6 |
105 |
Uh, any exorcisms you didn't tell us about? |
1.4444 |
0.07027 |
81 |
51 |
24 |
6 |
106 |
It appears your insurance has been declined. |
1.4444 |
0.07454 |
81 |
53 |
20 |
8 |
107 |
We are committed to maintaining the privacy of patient results. |
1.4400 |
0.08107 |
75 |
51 |
15 |
9 |
108 |
I'd say your bowel is beyond merely irritable. |
1.4359 |
0.08077 |
78 |
54 |
14 |
10 |
109 |
You just finished paying off my mortgage. |
1.4342 |
0.08447 |
76 |
54 |
11 |
11 |
110 |
So, you say your laser vision is acting up. |
1.4342 |
0.07571 |
76 |
50 |
19 |
7 |
111 |
Our top priority is getting this inflammation under control. |
1.4342 |
0.07571 |
76 |
50 |
19 |
7 |
112 |
The bad news isn't that you're dying - it's where you're headed after that. |
1.4324 |
0.07952 |
74 |
50 |
16 |
8 |
113 |
You have one hell of a fever. |
1.4324 |
0.08182 |
74 |
51 |
14 |
9 |
114 |
You have some inflammation. |
1.4267 |
0.08093 |
75 |
52 |
14 |
9 |
115 |
I think we can rule out a false positive. |
1.4267 |
0.08093 |
75 |
52 |
14 |
9 |
116 |
I think we're looking at a flare up. |
1.4267 |
0.07867 |
75 |
51 |
16 |
8 |
117 |
This happens sometimes when Paul Ryan's health plan is exposed to light. |
1.4267 |
0.08526 |
75 |
54 |
10 |
11 |
118 |
I think we can just skip over the "good news" part? |
1.4247 |
0.08484 |
73 |
52 |
11 |
10 |
119 |
The prognosis isn't good, Sir. You're going straight to hell. |
1.4247 |
0.08023 |
73 |
50 |
15 |
8 |
120 |
Your Healthcare plan has been programmed to self-destruct at the first sign of a serious illness, so we'll have to work fast. |
1.4247 |
0.08257 |
73 |
51 |
13 |
9 |
121 |
Liar liar charts on fire |
1.4247 |
0.08257 |
73 |
51 |
13 |
9 |
122 |
Our tests indicate severe inflammation. |
1.4247 |
0.07277 |
73 |
47 |
21 |
5 |
123 |
It is just acid reflux. The lab is being dramatic. |
1.4247 |
0.07534 |
73 |
48 |
19 |
6 |
124 |
No smoke. That's a good sign. |
1.4143 |
0.06899 |
70 |
44 |
23 |
3 |
125 |
Forget exercise, you need an exorcism. |
1.4143 |
0.08010 |
70 |
48 |
15 |
7 |
126 |
Your test results show some inflammation. |
1.4143 |
0.08010 |
70 |
48 |
15 |
7 |
127 |
Any history of spontaneous combustion in the family? |
1.4143 |
0.08511 |
70 |
50 |
11 |
9 |
128 |
Our new privacy procedures are lo-tech. |
1.4143 |
0.08264 |
70 |
49 |
13 |
8 |
129 |
You may want a second opinion. |
1.4143 |
0.07747 |
70 |
47 |
17 |
6 |
130 |
Okay...THAT's not good. |
1.4143 |
0.08264 |
70 |
49 |
13 |
8 |
131 |
I'm going to need a urine sample. Immediately. |
1.4143 |
0.08010 |
70 |
48 |
15 |
7 |
132 |
Your bowel syndrome isn't just irritable. It's mad as hell. |
1.4143 |
0.08511 |
70 |
50 |
11 |
9 |
133 |
Seems they don't like your preexisting condition. |
1.4143 |
0.08264 |
70 |
49 |
13 |
8 |
134 |
I'm afraid it's flared up again. |
1.4143 |
0.08264 |
70 |
49 |
13 |
8 |
135 |
Your insurance company got back to us. |
1.4143 |
0.08511 |
70 |
50 |
11 |
9 |
136 |
Your test results are in. You're going to hell. |
1.4143 |
0.07747 |
70 |
47 |
17 |
6 |
137 |
It's probably nothing serious. |
1.4143 |
0.07747 |
70 |
47 |
17 |
6 |
138 |
Can you point out on this chart how intense the "burning sensation" is? |
1.4118 |
0.08442 |
68 |
48 |
12 |
8 |
139 |
You're having another flare-up. |
1.4118 |
0.08442 |
68 |
48 |
12 |
8 |
140 |
Your best option is a bucket list. |
1.4118 |
0.08178 |
68 |
47 |
14 |
7 |
141 |
Oops, I forgot to tell you your mission. |
1.4118 |
0.07622 |
68 |
45 |
18 |
5 |
142 |
Your lab work is conclusive. All I can do is refer you to an exorcist. |
1.4118 |
0.07329 |
68 |
44 |
20 |
4 |
143 |
This is what happens when you bring lies about exercise and diet to my office. |
1.4118 |
0.07905 |
68 |
46 |
16 |
6 |
144 |
I tell you, this patient privacy stuff is really getting out of hand. |
1.4118 |
0.07905 |
68 |
46 |
16 |
6 |
145 |
No records, no malpractice. |
1.4118 |
0.07622 |
68 |
45 |
18 |
5 |
146 |
I'm gonna need that urine sample now. |
1.4118 |
0.07329 |
68 |
44 |
20 |
4 |
147 |
On the upside, you might as well quit diet & exercise. |
1.4118 |
0.07905 |
68 |
46 |
16 |
6 |
148 |
It's pyromania. |
1.4118 |
0.07622 |
68 |
45 |
18 |
5 |
149 |
I can make your preexisting conditions disappear! |
1.4118 |
0.08442 |
68 |
48 |
12 |
8 |
150 |
you have a bad case of chart burn |
1.4118 |
0.07905 |
68 |
46 |
16 |
6 |
151 |
After reading this report, I'm surprised you're able to sit down. |
1.4085 |
0.06826 |
71 |
45 |
23 |
3 |
152 |
The results are back. You're going to Hell. |
1.4030 |
0.08523 |
67 |
48 |
11 |
8 |
153 |
I see your fever is off the charts. |
1.4030 |
0.07974 |
67 |
46 |
15 |
6 |
154 |
It's clear you need an anti-inflammatory. |
1.4030 |
0.08253 |
67 |
47 |
13 |
7 |
155 |
I'm going to start you on some anti inflammatories |
1.4030 |
0.08523 |
67 |
48 |
11 |
8 |
156 |
Your lab results suggest you have an inflamation. |
1.4030 |
0.07686 |
67 |
45 |
17 |
5 |
157 |
Expect a flare-up or two. |
1.4030 |
0.07974 |
67 |
46 |
15 |
6 |
158 |
The test results confirm your burning sensation. |
1.4030 |
0.07385 |
67 |
44 |
19 |
4 |
159 |
This report confirms it, you are a flaming a*#hole. |
1.4000 |
0.08435 |
65 |
46 |
12 |
7 |
160 |
Well, it's definitely inflamed. |
1.4000 |
0.08435 |
65 |
46 |
12 |
7 |
161 |
The lab report for your hemmoroids is back ... |
1.4000 |
0.08145 |
65 |
45 |
14 |
6 |
162 |
And behold the bill was burning with fire, yet the bill was not consumed. |
1.4000 |
0.08435 |
65 |
46 |
12 |
7 |
163 |
Obviously, we're concerned about inflammation. |
1.4000 |
0.07845 |
65 |
44 |
16 |
5 |
164 |
Well...it's the Mother Of All Bills. |
1.4000 |
0.09251 |
65 |
49 |
6 |
10 |
165 |
The good news is that whatever you have won't last long. |
1.4000 |
0.07845 |
65 |
44 |
16 |
5 |
166 |
We just moved our records over to Snapchat. |
1.4000 |
0.07532 |
65 |
43 |
18 |
4 |
167 |
I'm going to refer you to an arsonist. |
1.4000 |
0.07532 |
65 |
43 |
18 |
4 |
168 |
Your test result, should you choose to accept it, ... |
1.4000 |
0.08987 |
65 |
48 |
8 |
9 |
169 |
So, under Trump Care.... |
1.4000 |
0.08145 |
65 |
45 |
14 |
6 |
170 |
We should treat this before it spreads. |
1.4000 |
0.08435 |
65 |
46 |
12 |
7 |
171 |
Apparently your insurance won't cover it. |
1.4000 |
0.08145 |
65 |
45 |
14 |
6 |
172 |
It's the latest revision..... the Combustible Care Act. |
1.4000 |
0.08145 |
65 |
45 |
14 |
6 |
173 |
It's easier for me to just burn your bill than to deal with your insurance company |
1.4000 |
0.08145 |
65 |
45 |
14 |
6 |
174 |
If you don't mind, I'm going to give you the bad news quickly. |
1.4000 |
0.08987 |
65 |
48 |
8 |
9 |
175 |
We're converting to a paperless system. |
1.4000 |
0.08987 |
65 |
48 |
8 |
9 |
176 |
Have you been experiencing any hot flashes of late? |
1.4000 |
0.07845 |
65 |
44 |
16 |
5 |
177 |
Your cholesterol levels are great but your nitroglycerides are off the chart. |
1.4000 |
0.08145 |
65 |
45 |
14 |
6 |
178 |
The good news is you won't be around to see the bill. |
1.4000 |
0.08716 |
65 |
47 |
10 |
8 |
179 |
This your coverage. This is your coverage on TrumpCare. Any questions? |
1.3929 |
0.08708 |
56 |
39 |
12 |
5 |
180 |
The good news is that you won’t have to worry about the fate of Obamacare. |
1.3929 |
0.09425 |
56 |
41 |
8 |
7 |
181 |
The insurance company doesn't seem inclined to accept our appeal. |
1.3906 |
0.08219 |
64 |
45 |
13 |
6 |
182 |
Now might be a good time to get an advance directive. |
1.3906 |
0.08219 |
64 |
45 |
13 |
6 |
183 |
I think we can skip the thermometer. |
1.3906 |
0.09079 |
64 |
48 |
7 |
9 |
184 |
There's no cause for alarm. |
1.3906 |
0.08515 |
64 |
46 |
11 |
7 |
185 |
Sorry, this happens now every time a new patient has a pre-existing conditon. |
1.3906 |
0.07911 |
64 |
44 |
15 |
5 |
186 |
Apparently your Trumpcare insurance policy self-destructs upon implementation. |
1.3906 |
0.08801 |
64 |
47 |
9 |
8 |
187 |
Your phosphorus level is a little too high. |
1.3906 |
0.07911 |
64 |
44 |
15 |
5 |
188 |
Apparently your insurance company disagrees with the treatment plan. |
1.3906 |
0.08219 |
64 |
45 |
13 |
6 |
189 |
"It looks like the answer to your prayers is 'NO'". |
1.3906 |
0.08801 |
64 |
47 |
9 |
8 |
190 |
Sorry, but all your records were on my Galaxy Note 7. |
1.3906 |
0.09079 |
64 |
48 |
7 |
9 |
191 |
And then there's the bad news |
1.3906 |
0.08219 |
64 |
45 |
13 |
6 |
192 |
your inflammation levels are off the chart! |
1.3906 |
0.08515 |
64 |
46 |
11 |
7 |
193 |
We take patient confidentiality very seriously. |
1.3906 |
0.08219 |
64 |
45 |
13 |
6 |
194 |
Well that explains your fever. |
1.3906 |
0.08219 |
64 |
45 |
13 |
6 |
195 |
It says here that, "you are currently on fire", is that correct? |
1.3906 |
0.08515 |
64 |
46 |
11 |
7 |
196 |
Ok, now if you'll just bend over for me.... |
1.3906 |
0.09079 |
64 |
48 |
7 |
9 |
197 |
The good news is, you might as well just keep smoking. |
1.3871 |
0.08404 |
62 |
44 |
12 |
6 |
198 |
An inflammatory response, yes, but we need to run a few more tests. |
1.3871 |
0.08404 |
62 |
44 |
12 |
6 |
199 |
According to these vitals, you seem to have a fever, at least on paper. |
1.3871 |
0.08404 |
62 |
44 |
12 |
6 |
200 |
No cause for alarm. It's our new data protection software. |
1.3871 |
0.08404 |
62 |
44 |
12 |
6 |
201 |
I've seen worse. |
1.3871 |
0.08713 |
62 |
45 |
10 |
7 |
202 |
The results from your hemorrhoid test are back. |
1.3871 |
0.08083 |
62 |
43 |
14 |
5 |
203 |
You have the worst case of heart burn I've ever seen! |
1.3871 |
0.08083 |
62 |
43 |
14 |
5 |
204 |
Trumpcare. |
1.3871 |
0.08404 |
62 |
44 |
12 |
6 |
205 |
Under the circumstances, you might want to skip the treatment and go straight to cremation. |
1.3871 |
0.09011 |
62 |
46 |
8 |
8 |
206 |
Your test results are alarming. |
1.3871 |
0.08713 |
62 |
45 |
10 |
7 |
207 |
This is how we make sure no one has access to your records. |
1.3871 |
0.08083 |
62 |
43 |
14 |
5 |
208 |
What we do know is that you have an inflammatory condition. |
1.3871 |
0.08083 |
62 |
43 |
14 |
5 |
209 |
my prognosis is death followed by damnation |
1.3846 |
0.08405 |
65 |
47 |
11 |
7 |
210 |
I don't want to extinguish all hope, BUT... |
1.3833 |
0.08600 |
60 |
43 |
11 |
6 |
211 |
I think I should refer you to a specialist |
1.3833 |
0.07167 |
60 |
39 |
19 |
2 |
212 |
It does say you need to burn more carbs. |
1.3833 |
0.06330 |
60 |
37 |
23 |
0 |
213 |
I've pioneered an exciting new method of hemorrhoid extraction... |
1.3833 |
0.09535 |
60 |
46 |
5 |
9 |
214 |
Your fever is off the charts! |
1.3833 |
0.07916 |
60 |
41 |
15 |
4 |
215 |
It is more common than you may think in men over fifty. |
1.3833 |
0.07916 |
60 |
41 |
15 |
4 |
216 |
The inflammation is more serious than we thought. |
1.3833 |
0.07551 |
60 |
40 |
17 |
3 |
217 |
No insurance. No money. I'm afraid that there's really nothing that i can do. However, there is this contract with the devil. |
1.3833 |
0.07916 |
60 |
41 |
15 |
4 |
218 |
I'd like to send you to a witch doctor. |
1.3833 |
0.07916 |
60 |
41 |
15 |
4 |
219 |
You'll need to take this with plenty of water. |
1.3833 |
0.07916 |
60 |
41 |
15 |
4 |
220 |
It looks like you're going straight to hell. |
1.3833 |
0.08265 |
60 |
42 |
13 |
5 |
221 |
It appears your procedure exceeds your coverage |
1.3833 |
0.08600 |
60 |
43 |
11 |
6 |
222 |
Unfortunately we printed your test results from a Samsung Galaxy Note 7. |
1.3833 |
0.07916 |
60 |
41 |
15 |
4 |
223 |
We'll start by eliminating all spicy foods. |
1.3833 |
0.08265 |
60 |
42 |
13 |
5 |
224 |
I'm afraid your clap has turned in to an applause |
1.3833 |
0.08600 |
60 |
43 |
11 |
6 |
225 |
Who did you say referred you? |
1.3729 |
0.07981 |
59 |
41 |
14 |
4 |
226 |
This is your brain on Trumpcare. |
1.3729 |
0.08682 |
59 |
43 |
10 |
6 |
227 |
The coroner is on his way. |
1.3729 |
0.09331 |
59 |
45 |
6 |
8 |
228 |
I thought you gave up the spicy foods? |
1.3729 |
0.07606 |
59 |
40 |
16 |
3 |
229 |
Like I tell all of my patients....What you don't know can't hurt you. |
1.3729 |
0.09331 |
59 |
45 |
6 |
8 |
230 |
You may want to tell your wife about this. |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
231 |
"According to your 'Explanation of Benefits', your only covered for cremation"! |
1.3684 |
0.09242 |
57 |
43 |
7 |
7 |
232 |
Any family history of spontaneous combustion? |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
233 |
According to our records, your symptoms are flaring up again. |
1.3684 |
0.08896 |
57 |
42 |
9 |
6 |
234 |
Unfortunately, this is all I can do under TrumpCare. |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
235 |
Another flare-up, I see. |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
236 |
Your Cholesterol Level is So High, It Started a Grease Fire. |
1.3684 |
0.09242 |
57 |
43 |
7 |
7 |
237 |
Yes, there definitely seems to be some inflammation. |
1.3684 |
0.07354 |
57 |
38 |
17 |
2 |
238 |
Your insurance company says they don't cover it. |
1.3684 |
0.09242 |
57 |
43 |
7 |
7 |
239 |
Oops! It looks like congress just passed health care reform. |
1.3684 |
0.08162 |
57 |
40 |
13 |
4 |
240 |
First, the good news: it no longer matters if you quit smoking. |
1.3684 |
0.08896 |
57 |
42 |
9 |
6 |
241 |
You have a classic case of burnout. |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
242 |
There's a lot of pressure to go paperless. |
1.3684 |
0.07768 |
57 |
39 |
15 |
3 |
243 |
Looks like insurance will be denying this |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
244 |
It hurts me to tell you this. |
1.3684 |
0.07768 |
57 |
39 |
15 |
3 |
245 |
I think what we're looking at is some kind of inflammation. |
1.3684 |
0.07768 |
57 |
39 |
15 |
3 |
246 |
This is why we can assure confidentiality of patient records. |
1.3684 |
0.08162 |
57 |
40 |
13 |
4 |
247 |
Now this may burn just a little bit. |
1.3684 |
0.09242 |
57 |
43 |
7 |
7 |
248 |
We switched to paper because our cellular phones were exploding. |
1.3684 |
0.08896 |
57 |
42 |
9 |
6 |
249 |
I'm a doctor; you only need to say "burning sensation". |
1.3684 |
0.09575 |
57 |
44 |
5 |
8 |
250 |
I'm sorry. It's chartburn. |
1.3684 |
0.09242 |
57 |
43 |
7 |
7 |
251 |
I'm sorry, it's spread to your soul. |
1.3684 |
0.07768 |
57 |
39 |
15 |
3 |
252 |
I'm afraid it's worse than it looks. |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
253 |
As you might guess, this isn't great news. |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
254 |
Let me go over these results quickly. |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
255 |
It's called TrumpCare. |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
256 |
These are the exercises I want you to do at home, but you're never gonna get around to em, so... |
1.3684 |
0.09575 |
57 |
44 |
5 |
8 |
257 |
I think it's time we address your inflammation levels. |
1.3684 |
0.08896 |
57 |
42 |
9 |
6 |
258 |
I see here that you're suffering from a burning sensation. |
1.3684 |
0.09242 |
57 |
43 |
7 |
7 |
259 |
Now, about your pyrokinesis . . . |
1.3684 |
0.08896 |
57 |
42 |
9 |
6 |
260 |
This might burn. |
1.3684 |
0.08896 |
57 |
42 |
9 |
6 |
261 |
This'll only burn for a second. |
1.3684 |
0.08896 |
57 |
42 |
9 |
6 |
262 |
Worst case of burnout I've ever seen. |
1.3684 |
0.07768 |
57 |
39 |
15 |
3 |
263 |
Yes, it's catching. |
1.3684 |
0.08537 |
57 |
41 |
11 |
5 |
264 |
It's either heartburn or you're the Devil. |
1.3667 |
0.09196 |
60 |
46 |
6 |
8 |
265 |
Mr. Hunt, your office just sent me your medical records, but unfortunately, I thought they were kidding when they said they would self-destruct in 20 seconds. Anyway, you have Chlamydia. |
1.3636 |
0.08748 |
55 |
40 |
10 |
5 |
266 |
Judging by your colonoscopy results, I'm guessing you're fond of spicy food. |
1.3636 |
0.09125 |
55 |
41 |
8 |
6 |
267 |
Look on the bright side: test results usually aren't so clear. |
1.3621 |
0.07254 |
58 |
39 |
17 |
2 |
268 |
Well, it's definitely not a cold. |
1.3571 |
0.08984 |
56 |
42 |
8 |
6 |
269 |
With your pants testing positive, I’d say you’re a pathological liar. |
1.3571 |
0.08984 |
56 |
42 |
8 |
6 |
270 |
In a moment, you will feel a slight burning sensation. |
1.3571 |
0.08229 |
56 |
40 |
12 |
4 |
271 |
I recommend an anti-inflammatory. |
1.3571 |
0.08615 |
56 |
41 |
10 |
5 |
272 |
If we burn this, you don't have a pre-existing condition. |
1.3571 |
0.08984 |
56 |
42 |
8 |
6 |
273 |
I need to run more tests, but my initial diagnosis is pyromania. |
1.3571 |
0.07398 |
56 |
38 |
16 |
2 |
274 |
Do the hemorrhoids feel like this? |
1.3571 |
0.08984 |
56 |
42 |
8 |
6 |
275 |
Well Mr. Wilson, looks like a nasty case of spontaneous combustion |
1.3571 |
0.08229 |
56 |
40 |
12 |
4 |
276 |
Your report clearly indicates Acute Inflamation . |
1.3571 |
0.07825 |
56 |
39 |
14 |
3 |
277 |
I imagine you'll want a second opinion. |
1.3571 |
0.08229 |
56 |
40 |
12 |
4 |
278 |
We've successfully removed your heartburn. |
1.3571 |
0.07825 |
56 |
39 |
14 |
3 |
279 |
Let’s just keep an eye on it for now. |
1.3571 |
0.07398 |
56 |
38 |
16 |
2 |
280 |
I diagnose pyromania. |
1.3571 |
0.07825 |
56 |
39 |
14 |
3 |
281 |
I'm going to have to prescribe an anti-inflamitory! |
1.3571 |
0.08984 |
56 |
42 |
8 |
6 |
282 |
So, you say it's a burning sensation? |
1.3571 |
0.08229 |
56 |
40 |
12 |
4 |
283 |
I will need a list of the last five people you've been intimate with. Immediately. |
1.3529 |
0.09214 |
51 |
38 |
8 |
5 |
284 |
I see here you didn't cut down on spicy foods. |
1.3529 |
0.09214 |
51 |
38 |
8 |
5 |
285 |
Your health plan went from repeal and replace to incinerate. |
1.3529 |
0.09214 |
51 |
38 |
8 |
5 |
286 |
Your results are difficult to interpret. |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
287 |
On the other hand, your pyrokinesis is just fine. |
1.3519 |
0.08830 |
54 |
40 |
9 |
5 |
288 |
I'm going to refer your case to a specialist. A priest. |
1.3519 |
0.07072 |
54 |
36 |
17 |
1 |
289 |
How recently since you returned from Burning Man? |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
290 |
Paul Ryan American Care Act - Version 2.0 |
1.3519 |
0.08830 |
54 |
40 |
9 |
5 |
291 |
I won't keep you in suspense. |
1.3519 |
0.08830 |
54 |
40 |
9 |
5 |
292 |
Well, we can rule out hypothermia. |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
293 |
Your test results look like hell! |
1.3519 |
0.08830 |
54 |
40 |
9 |
5 |
294 |
The medication has a few side effects. |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
295 |
Is there a history of spontaneous combustion in your family? |
1.3519 |
0.08000 |
54 |
38 |
13 |
3 |
296 |
Let's start with the good news. |
1.3519 |
0.09217 |
54 |
41 |
7 |
6 |
297 |
At least the results are conclusive, you have to be happy about that. |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
298 |
I'm afraid you're going to have to tell your wife about this. |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
299 |
In cases like this we like to treat fire with fire. |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
300 |
It reduces my malpractice premiums. |
1.3519 |
0.09217 |
54 |
41 |
7 |
6 |
301 |
Now let's test your reflexes.... |
1.3519 |
0.09217 |
54 |
41 |
7 |
6 |
302 |
The DNA test shows you to be a mix of Northern Italian, Montenegrin, and spawn of Satan. |
1.3519 |
0.08830 |
54 |
40 |
9 |
5 |
303 |
If it's any consolation, Inflammatory Bill Disease is an extremely common condition. |
1.3519 |
0.08830 |
54 |
40 |
9 |
5 |
304 |
Results are in...your gonna have to back off on the Sriracha. |
1.3519 |
0.09589 |
54 |
42 |
5 |
7 |
305 |
This is your brain on politics |
1.3519 |
0.09217 |
54 |
41 |
7 |
6 |
306 |
Looks like you're covered under ACA.... Oh, wait... |
1.3519 |
0.09217 |
54 |
41 |
7 |
6 |
307 |
Your health is perfect but your soul worries me. |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
308 |
You're worried about side effects? |
1.3519 |
0.08830 |
54 |
40 |
9 |
5 |
309 |
Ya... um... it's not good. |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
310 |
And the chili pepper eating contest? When was that? |
1.3519 |
0.08425 |
54 |
39 |
11 |
4 |
311 |
You were right. You shouldn't have come in. |
1.3519 |
0.07550 |
54 |
37 |
15 |
2 |
312 |
Your insurance says you can burn in hell before they’ll cover this. |
1.3519 |
0.07550 |
54 |
37 |
15 |
2 |
313 |
Usually that only happens during urination. |
1.3519 |
0.08000 |
54 |
38 |
13 |
3 |
314 |
It appears your inflammation has spread. |
1.3462 |
0.08634 |
52 |
38 |
10 |
4 |
315 |
It's the worst case of inflammation that I've ever seen! |
1.3462 |
0.09060 |
52 |
39 |
8 |
5 |
316 |
I guess they were serious about these paperless medical records. |
1.3462 |
0.07711 |
52 |
36 |
14 |
2 |
317 |
Here at the sperm bank, we take our donor's identity very seriously |
1.3462 |
0.09060 |
52 |
39 |
8 |
5 |
318 |
I've billed you for a new printer. |
1.3462 |
0.08186 |
52 |
37 |
12 |
3 |
319 |
Your heartburn is not only off the charts, it's destroying the charts. |
1.3462 |
0.08634 |
52 |
38 |
10 |
4 |
320 |
And your blood pressure is 666 over 666. |
1.3462 |
0.09060 |
52 |
39 |
8 |
5 |
321 |
Tell me more about this burning sensation. |
1.3462 |
0.09060 |
52 |
39 |
8 |
5 |
322 |
Even your chart is inflamed. |
1.3462 |
0.07711 |
52 |
36 |
14 |
2 |
323 |
This may burn a little. |
1.3462 |
0.08186 |
52 |
37 |
12 |
3 |
324 |
Do you want the bad news or the really, really bad news first? |
1.3462 |
0.08634 |
52 |
38 |
10 |
4 |
325 |
Is this what it feels like when you urinate? |
1.3462 |
0.08634 |
52 |
38 |
10 |
4 |
326 |
If you can blow this out before it gets to my fingers, I won't have to listen to your lungs. |
1.3462 |
0.08634 |
52 |
38 |
10 |
4 |
327 |
Everything’s fine! By the way, you were never here. |
1.3462 |
0.09060 |
52 |
39 |
8 |
5 |
328 |
Now, let's see, it says here that your previous doctor was a.....Dante? |
1.3462 |
0.09060 |
52 |
39 |
8 |
5 |
329 |
Your test results came back positive for inflammation I'm afraid! |
1.3462 |
0.09060 |
52 |
39 |
8 |
5 |
330 |
I'd say you're suffering from burnout. |
1.3462 |
0.08186 |
52 |
37 |
12 |
3 |
331 |
As you see, Mr. Greene, the inflammation is worse than we expected. |
1.3400 |
0.08384 |
50 |
36 |
11 |
3 |
332 |
I prescribe not watching anymore politics on TV |
1.3400 |
0.08857 |
50 |
37 |
9 |
4 |
333 |
You're a wizard Harry! |
1.3400 |
0.09735 |
50 |
39 |
5 |
6 |
334 |
For malpractice insurance purposes, there will be no record of my diagnosis. |
1.3400 |
0.08857 |
50 |
37 |
9 |
4 |
335 |
It's just my way of avoiding a malpractice suit |
1.3400 |
0.07882 |
50 |
35 |
13 |
2 |
336 |
I won't say it's hopeless, but I'm prescribing brimstone. |
1.3400 |
0.08384 |
50 |
36 |
11 |
3 |
337 |
I'm sorry, but your test results are classified. |
1.3400 |
0.08384 |
50 |
36 |
11 |
3 |
338 |
Holy Smokes! |
1.3400 |
0.09307 |
50 |
38 |
7 |
5 |
339 |
This is the worst part of the job |
1.3400 |
0.08384 |
50 |
36 |
11 |
3 |
340 |
You have a disease of biblical proportion! |
1.3400 |
0.08857 |
50 |
37 |
9 |
4 |
341 |
The good news is that you can never get hypothermia. |
1.3400 |
0.08384 |
50 |
36 |
11 |
3 |
342 |
OMG, you've got Samsung's disease! |
1.3400 |
0.08384 |
50 |
36 |
11 |
3 |
343 |
I thought there was hope. Apparently not. |
1.3400 |
0.09735 |
50 |
39 |
5 |
6 |
344 |
Your lab report says, "Liar, liar, pants on fire." |
1.3400 |
0.08857 |
50 |
37 |
9 |
4 |
345 |
So, YOU'RE the guy dating my receptionist. |
1.3400 |
0.08384 |
50 |
36 |
11 |
3 |
346 |
Appears to be a serious inflammation. |
1.3333 |
0.09147 |
51 |
39 |
7 |
5 |
347 |
Right, but, medicine isn't actually a science. |
1.3333 |
0.08707 |
51 |
38 |
9 |
4 |
348 |
Here's how heartburns works. |
1.3333 |
0.08707 |
51 |
38 |
9 |
4 |
349 |
Imagine this is your stomach lining. |
1.3333 |
0.08245 |
51 |
37 |
11 |
3 |
350 |
I'm sorry Mr. Smith, some things just won't stay in Vegas. |
1.3333 |
0.08245 |
51 |
37 |
11 |
3 |
351 |
The good news is you have six months to live. After that things get grim. |
1.3333 |
0.09147 |
51 |
39 |
7 |
5 |
352 |
Side effects? Why do you ask? |
1.3333 |
0.08707 |
51 |
38 |
9 |
4 |
353 |
It's a new HIPAA requirement. |
1.3333 |
0.08245 |
51 |
37 |
11 |
3 |
354 |
You must have Trumpcare! |
1.3333 |
0.08707 |
51 |
38 |
9 |
4 |
355 |
We could've just told your wife it was from a toilet seat. |
1.3333 |
0.08245 |
51 |
37 |
11 |
3 |
356 |
If you're too embarrassed to say it, is THIS how it feels down there? |
1.3269 |
0.08562 |
52 |
39 |
9 |
4 |
357 |
How are you at metaphors, Mr. Quimby? |
1.3265 |
0.08935 |
49 |
37 |
8 |
4 |
358 |
Hmm .. the DNA test says you are 1/4 Dragon. |
1.3265 |
0.08935 |
49 |
37 |
8 |
4 |
359 |
According to the test results, you're a "hot mess". |
1.3265 |
0.08445 |
49 |
36 |
10 |
3 |
360 |
It's the lab report on your hemorrhoids |
1.3265 |
0.07926 |
49 |
35 |
12 |
2 |
361 |
It's definitely not a cold. |
1.3265 |
0.08935 |
49 |
37 |
8 |
4 |
362 |
Does your health plan include any shamans? |
1.3265 |
0.08445 |
49 |
36 |
10 |
3 |
363 |
Your prescription, should you choose to accept it, will self-destruct in 15 seconds. |
1.3265 |
0.07926 |
49 |
35 |
12 |
2 |
364 |
These new tests tell me how long you've got and where you're going... after. |
1.3265 |
0.08445 |
49 |
36 |
10 |
3 |
365 |
You can do this. It's only ten commandments. |
1.3265 |
0.08935 |
49 |
37 |
8 |
4 |
366 |
Well, first off, your blood pressure is rather high. |
1.3265 |
0.08445 |
49 |
36 |
10 |
3 |
367 |
I see you're in the high risk insurance pool. |
1.3265 |
0.07370 |
49 |
34 |
14 |
1 |
368 |
Your health plan doesn't cover chartburn. |
1.3265 |
0.08445 |
49 |
36 |
10 |
3 |
369 |
The blood test shows your inflammatory markers are pretty elevated. |
1.3265 |
0.08445 |
49 |
36 |
10 |
3 |
370 |
Does it itch too? |
1.3265 |
0.07926 |
49 |
35 |
12 |
2 |
371 |
I see that you were referred by a Doctor Faustus... |
1.3265 |
0.09398 |
49 |
38 |
6 |
5 |
372 |
It looks like a case of inflammatory billing syndrome. |
1.3265 |
0.08935 |
49 |
37 |
8 |
4 |
373 |
We're having a little trouble with your insurance. |
1.3265 |
0.07926 |
49 |
35 |
12 |
2 |
374 |
I am surprised you are able to sit. |
1.3265 |
0.09398 |
49 |
38 |
6 |
5 |
375 |
We go above and beyond HIPAA in protecting your privacy rights. |
1.3265 |
0.07926 |
49 |
35 |
12 |
2 |
376 |
Your medical records will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck Jim. |
1.3265 |
0.07926 |
49 |
35 |
12 |
2 |
377 |
First the good news: Your plan has excellent cremation coverage, anyway. |
1.3265 |
0.07926 |
49 |
35 |
12 |
2 |
378 |
Well, we could always get a third opinion. |
1.3265 |
0.08935 |
49 |
37 |
8 |
4 |
379 |
Well, looking at these results, you maybe an arsonist. |
1.3200 |
0.08300 |
50 |
37 |
10 |
3 |
380 |
Don't fret, Mr. McDaniels, flaming medical record syndrome has been fairly common ever since Pfizer invented a pill for it. |
1.3191 |
0.09669 |
47 |
37 |
5 |
5 |
381 |
I'm an optimist, but this can't be good. |
1.3191 |
0.08660 |
47 |
35 |
9 |
3 |
382 |
Your flare-up is worse than we originally thought. |
1.3191 |
0.08660 |
47 |
35 |
9 |
3 |
383 |
Well, it appears you've been burning everything except calories |
1.3191 |
0.08108 |
47 |
34 |
11 |
2 |
384 |
I'm sorry, Mr. Thompson. Your insurance canceled you this morning. |
1.3191 |
0.09178 |
47 |
36 |
7 |
4 |
385 |
It’s also called Mrs. O'Leary's Cow Disease. |
1.3191 |
0.08108 |
47 |
34 |
11 |
2 |
386 |
The tests confirm you're going to need something stronger than Prilosec. |
1.3191 |
0.08660 |
47 |
35 |
9 |
3 |
387 |
Well there's your second opinion. |
1.3191 |
0.09669 |
47 |
37 |
5 |
5 |
388 |
On second thought, let's keep you out of the oxygen tent. |
1.3191 |
0.08660 |
47 |
35 |
9 |
3 |
389 |
It seems you got it from an old flame. |
1.3191 |
0.08660 |
47 |
35 |
9 |
3 |
390 |
I think the diagnosis speaks for itself |
1.3191 |
0.09178 |
47 |
36 |
7 |
4 |
391 |
Your magnesium levels are a little high. |
1.3191 |
0.08108 |
47 |
34 |
11 |
2 |
392 |
Where's a smore when you need one? |
1.3191 |
0.08660 |
47 |
35 |
9 |
3 |
393 |
You tested positive for oil |
1.3191 |
0.08108 |
47 |
34 |
11 |
2 |
394 |
You have a case of spontaneous combustion. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
395 |
It will be best if you pay before you leave. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
396 |
Looks like inflammation. |
1.3111 |
0.09961 |
45 |
36 |
4 |
5 |
397 |
Okay, we can forget about the good news. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
398 |
Donald Jr, do you have any immediate family that have experienced everything going up in flames? |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
399 |
The test results indicate a severe inflammation. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
400 |
And I see under aliases you've written in "The Human Torch", Mr. Storm? |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
401 |
So do you want the good news or the bad news first? |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
402 |
Let me begin by asking whether your affairs are in order. |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
403 |
Is it arson, doc? |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
404 |
These test results self-distruct as required by HIPPA. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
405 |
You have quite a bit of inflammation. |
1.3111 |
0.06979 |
45 |
31 |
14 |
0 |
406 |
Worst case of acid reflux I've ever seen. |
1.3111 |
0.09961 |
45 |
36 |
4 |
5 |
407 |
... Just until we get our new encryption software. |
1.3111 |
0.07669 |
45 |
32 |
12 |
1 |
408 |
I'll take that urine sample now. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
409 |
This hurts me as much as it hurts you. |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
410 |
Oh, it's a new HIPAA regulation. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
411 |
That's quite a gas problem you have there. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
412 |
OK listen up. I have to read fast. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
413 |
I see you have a Republican health insurance policy. |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
414 |
Looks like another Republican health care plan has gone up in flames. |
1.3111 |
0.10455 |
45 |
37 |
2 |
6 |
415 |
It's our new privacy policy. |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
416 |
Our lab supervisor is a drama queen. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
417 |
I see you've had a flare-up. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
418 |
It says here you have some sort of burning sensation. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
419 |
I think it's safe to say something is inflamed. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
420 |
You're dehydrated. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
421 |
The good news is, we caught it early. |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
422 |
A very bad case of hemorrhoids. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
423 |
It's the new confidentiality rules. You can't see your test results; and neither can I. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
424 |
Ok, now if you'll just bend over for me.... |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
425 |
The ulcers are fine. The burning sensation is in your deductible. |
1.3111 |
0.07669 |
45 |
32 |
12 |
1 |
426 |
I'll prescribe an anti-inflammatory. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
427 |
If your spontaneous combustions last more than four hours call me. |
1.3111 |
0.09961 |
45 |
36 |
4 |
5 |
428 |
You're toast |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
429 |
I'm sorry but I think the inflammation is spreading. |
1.3111 |
0.09961 |
45 |
36 |
4 |
5 |
430 |
About this burning sensation... |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
431 |
I'm afraid you have gas... |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
432 |
Mr. Blaine, you're a fantastic magician and you can burn the results all you want, but you still have Gonorrhea. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
433 |
Welcome to Trumpcare! |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
434 |
The insurance company is giving it's answer now. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
435 |
It's the new HIPPA requirement to ensure patient confidentiality. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
436 |
It says you've gone viral |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
437 |
Your test results indicate that you have the fire bug that's been going around. |
1.3111 |
0.09961 |
45 |
36 |
4 |
5 |
438 |
Rest, plenty of fluids, and three Hail Mary's should do the trick. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
439 |
I can't locate my spirometer. See if you can blow out the flame from where you're sitting. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
440 |
"Well Sam, I see that you're still smoking"! |
1.3111 |
0.09961 |
45 |
36 |
4 |
5 |
441 |
This is repeal. I'll replace it soon. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
442 |
Go home and put a LOT of ice on it. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
443 |
I'm still going to bill you, Superman. |
1.3111 |
0.07669 |
45 |
32 |
12 |
1 |
444 |
I'm so sorry, this isn't supposed to happen unless you say "malpractice." |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
445 |
I'll need a urine sample, and fast. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
446 |
I recommend an anti-inflammatory. |
1.3111 |
0.07669 |
45 |
32 |
12 |
1 |
447 |
I guess Congress finally repealed Obamacare. |
1.3111 |
0.06979 |
45 |
31 |
14 |
0 |
448 |
I wish I had wetter news. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
449 |
Hell if I know . . . |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
450 |
Results just in from Theranos. |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
451 |
Don't worry, I can recommend a good anti-inflammatory. |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
452 |
The good news is...I've seen worse. |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
453 |
I have excellent fireside manner. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
454 |
Based on these results I'm thinking anti-inflammatories. |
1.3111 |
0.08301 |
45 |
33 |
10 |
2 |
455 |
Of course, it might just be nothing! |
1.3111 |
0.09961 |
45 |
36 |
4 |
5 |
456 |
Your insurance is for fire, not health! |
1.3111 |
0.09440 |
45 |
35 |
6 |
4 |
457 |
But the good news is that I've set the bad news on fire. |
1.3111 |
0.08889 |
45 |
34 |
8 |
3 |
458 |
We printed off the review you left on Yelp. Will you still be wanting us to perform that prostate exam? |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
459 |
This is our new urine test ... ready? |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
460 |
I recommend cremation. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
461 |
That's strange.... now I feel the burning sensation. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
462 |
Let's start with the good news. |
1.3023 |
0.10276 |
43 |
35 |
3 |
5 |
463 |
"What do you know? 'Burn in eternal hellfire' is a diagnosis". |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
464 |
H2O is a proven cure, but the pharmaceutical companies have priced it out of reach. |
1.3023 |
0.07087 |
43 |
30 |
13 |
0 |
465 |
I suspect inflammation. |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
466 |
Your results show a lot of inflammation. |
1.3023 |
0.07829 |
43 |
31 |
11 |
1 |
467 |
I've got the results for the tests we did on why your head spins completely around. |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
468 |
Remember this is a drug trial; half the participants will get a placebo. |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
469 |
This is why we need you to be truthful on these forms. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
470 |
I think you'll have to stop using Tinder. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
471 |
Your lab results look good compared with this letter from my ex. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
472 |
Liar liar charts on fire |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
473 |
How long have you worked at the nuclear power plant? |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
474 |
I'm afraid it's bad news. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
475 |
I'm also getting a burning sensation. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
476 |
You didn't really want to know the results anyway. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
477 |
Could you describe that burning sensation one more time? |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
478 |
That's funny, it's usually only women who have hot flashes. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
479 |
Let me be brief. |
1.3023 |
0.07829 |
43 |
31 |
11 |
1 |
480 |
What jumps out at me is a diagnosis of inflammation. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
481 |
Well, I'm afraid hell is calling. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
482 |
Its time to get started on your bucket list, Frank. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
483 |
Your tests uncovered some inflammation |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
484 |
I have your test results, Mr. Giovanni. You're going to die and go to hell. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
485 |
Oops. Looks like they just repealed the Affordable Care Act. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
486 |
I'll be brief. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
487 |
Your chart indicates a flare up. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
488 |
Letting you see your results might kill you. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
489 |
This calls for an anti-inflamatory |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
490 |
New filing system...they've asked I send everything up into the cloud. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
491 |
I accidentally ordered the 'zesty cajun' lipid panel. |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
492 |
This is the worst case of heartburn that I have ever seen. |
1.3023 |
0.07829 |
43 |
31 |
11 |
1 |
493 |
Looks like the Russians got to your files first, Mr. Comey. |
1.3023 |
0.07829 |
43 |
31 |
11 |
1 |
494 |
Bend over. |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
495 |
Your secret is safe with me.... |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
496 |
You'll feel a slight burning sensation at first |
1.3023 |
0.07829 |
43 |
31 |
11 |
1 |
497 |
I've never seen inflammation this bad, Mr. Marston! |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
498 |
Your results indicate inflammation. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
499 |
Your test results indicate a high level of inflammation. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
500 |
My diagnosis is pyromania. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
501 |
I haven’t much time so please pay attention. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
502 |
We're going to need to get you on an anti-inflammatory. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
503 |
Well, the results from your STD screening are back. |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
504 |
Sorry Congressman, it's a bad case of "liar liar pants on fire". |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
505 |
As you can see it's catching. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
506 |
I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover spontaneous combustion. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
507 |
After the recent hack of our database, we switched to a stricter patient record privacy policy. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
508 |
With this ancient fire spell, I shall drive the demons from your body! |
1.3023 |
0.07829 |
43 |
31 |
11 |
1 |
509 |
The good news is your insurance company answered your claim quickly. |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
510 |
It's not the WORST results I've seen, but..... |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
511 |
Trust me. You don't want to read this. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
512 |
Yes, it does appear to be contagious. |
1.3023 |
0.10276 |
43 |
35 |
3 |
5 |
513 |
Around here we take patient confidentiality very seriously. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
514 |
Your lab results are now paperless. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
515 |
These are answers to your burning questions. |
1.3023 |
0.08507 |
43 |
32 |
9 |
2 |
516 |
Any plans for the weekend? |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
517 |
The inflammation's spreading. |
1.3023 |
0.07829 |
43 |
31 |
11 |
1 |
518 |
The good news is you don't have to worry about the interest rate on the 12 month payment plan. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
519 |
Well, looks like your heart burn really is off the charts. |
1.3023 |
0.07829 |
43 |
31 |
11 |
1 |
520 |
It's anti-hacking paper, to keep your medical data secure. |
1.3023 |
0.09722 |
43 |
34 |
5 |
4 |
521 |
Really, Dwayne? Liar, Liar chart on fire. |
1.3023 |
0.09135 |
43 |
33 |
7 |
3 |
522 |
Have you tried Prilosec? |
1.3023 |
0.07829 |
43 |
31 |
11 |
1 |
523 |
I could get fired for this. |
1.2955 |
0.08951 |
44 |
34 |
7 |
3 |
524 |
I'm starting to get concerned about this inflammation |
1.2955 |
0.08340 |
44 |
33 |
9 |
2 |
525 |
It's a witch doctor referral. |
1.2955 |
0.07680 |
44 |
32 |
11 |
1 |
526 |
Your lab work is back. It looks like hell. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
527 |
Quick give me a urine sample! |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
528 |
Maybe your fire insurance will cover this. |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
529 |
Your temperature was 451. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
530 |
I wouldn't be alarmed by a little inflammation. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
531 |
When I see results like these, Bob, alarms go off. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
532 |
Thanks to your surgery, I've been able to burn my $1,000,000 mortgage |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
533 |
You need to hydrate more. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
534 |
No, THIS is a burning sensation! |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
535 |
It’s how we comply with medical record privacy regulations. |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
536 |
What makes you think it's bad news? |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
537 |
Cialis may not be right for you. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
538 |
The good news is that the burning sensation will only last 30 seconds or so. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
539 |
Mr. Allerdyce, please. Superpowers are no match to high cholesterol numbers. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
540 |
Your results are fine. This is the new normal. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
541 |
I'll be frank - the results weren't good. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
542 |
It's all TrumpCare covers for bad test results. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
543 |
Your brain scans show lobal warming. |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
544 |
Does spontaneous combustion run in your family? |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
545 |
Don't take this with water |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
546 |
These confidentiality rules are becoming a headache. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
547 |
I'm sending you to a specialist. Stephen King. |
1.2857 |
0.07055 |
42 |
30 |
12 |
0 |
548 |
Better for you to skip this and go straight to a second opinion. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
549 |
To be administered no more than once a day, with plenty of water. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
550 |
Blow out your lab results and make a wish! |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
551 |
The good news, you're going to live forever. The bad news, you'll have to relocate. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
552 |
I'm sending your records to the cloud. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
553 |
I'll be more careful during your laser surgery. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
554 |
Does it burn when you pee? |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
555 |
Clark Kent disagrees with the findings of his physical examination. |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
556 |
I've never seen such inflammation in a lab report |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
557 |
Look on the bright side. You won't have to file your taxes next year. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
558 |
This might result in a bit of redness, swelling or discoloration of the skin. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
559 |
You may experience a bit of discomfort. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
560 |
Frankly, your lab results cause me some concern |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
561 |
In this case, I suggest we both consult Google. |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
562 |
It appears you've got a severe case of chartburn. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
563 |
Our filing system has been upgraded since the last cyber-attack. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
564 |
Your pyrocyte count is off the charts. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
565 |
First, the good news. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
566 |
Just picked up your health care coverage plan. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
567 |
Our updated firewall protects against anyone ever seeing your records! |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
568 |
Your test came back positive for arson. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
569 |
This is your prescription on drugs. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
570 |
Now, imagine this is your liver. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
571 |
I see you're sexually active. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
572 |
Your colonoscopy report says extensive jalapeños. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
573 |
According to your test results it appears you haven't stopped smoking. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
574 |
Labs concur. It burns when you pee. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
575 |
So it feels like that when you urinate? |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
576 |
Just wait till they get started on tax reform. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
577 |
This way I never have to worry about malpractice |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
578 |
I'm not sure you're going to be able to handle the test results. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
579 |
So much for preexisting conditions! |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
580 |
If this doesn't work, I suggest you try ice. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
581 |
You have the lab results from hell, I'm afraid. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
582 |
Now, I don't want to alarm you... |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
583 |
Definitely inflammation here. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
584 |
You say you been having heart burn lately |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
585 |
This doesn't end well. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
586 |
Well, let's start with the good news. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
587 |
...and then let's say this is your urinary tract. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
588 |
I'm afraid it isn't all good news. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
589 |
Your test results are positive for inflammation. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
590 |
Yes, it's fire - but it's the good kind. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
591 |
Bill, schmill. You'll be dead in a week. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
592 |
You want the good news first? |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
593 |
So, your colonoscopy results are back. Lets see here... |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
594 |
My professional diagnosis is that you're Satan. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
595 |
Drink plenty of fluids. |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
596 |
No need for alarm. Our smoke detector has that covered. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
597 |
I'll have to make this quick. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
598 |
Yeah, I'd say your fever's pretty high. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
599 |
There's no paper trail for malpractice suits. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
600 |
With HIPAA rules, it's better I burn these right away. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
601 |
If you want a second opinion, you better hurry! |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
602 |
Your Insurance Company just got back to me on your coverage. |
1.2857 |
0.09810 |
42 |
34 |
4 |
4 |
603 |
You asked to go paperless. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
604 |
Unfortunately,your prior condition has flared up again! |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
605 |
It appears that the diagnosis is Spontaneous Combustion. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
606 |
You must have a very high security clearance. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
607 |
I found a solution for people without health insurance. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
608 |
So there are two options.. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
609 |
Looks to me like a severe case of halitosis. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
610 |
You might want to get a second opinion |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
611 |
I'm going to need you to pee on this |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
612 |
Well, normally I'd rule out demonic possession... |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
613 |
The inflammation seems to be spreading. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
614 |
Your test results show severe inflammatory response. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
615 |
This report will self destruct in 30 seconds. |
1.2857 |
0.07055 |
42 |
30 |
12 |
0 |
616 |
Don't worry, it's our latest measure in data security. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
617 |
Well, this explains your night sweats. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
618 |
I recommend reducing your carbon footprint. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
619 |
How long have I been smoking? Sorry, are you asking me or chart? |
1.2857 |
0.07055 |
42 |
30 |
12 |
0 |
620 |
I don't mean to set off any alarms, but you might not have time for a second opinion. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
621 |
It seems you forgot to pay your premium. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
622 |
Your insurance claim was denied. |
1.2857 |
0.10385 |
42 |
35 |
2 |
5 |
623 |
Why would you think it's bad news? |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
624 |
No need to worry, it's just some mild inflammation. |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
625 |
Relax as I secure your personal data with our God-Only-Knows™ encryption technology. |
1.2857 |
0.08544 |
42 |
32 |
8 |
2 |
626 |
There's a problem with your insurance... |
1.2857 |
0.09199 |
42 |
33 |
6 |
3 |
627 |
Very very quickly, please verify your name and date of birth. |
1.2857 |
0.07835 |
42 |
31 |
10 |
1 |
628 |
I've got some good news and some hot news |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
629 |
You're fine but I'm afraid this bill will burn a hole in your pocket. |
1.2750 |
0.10119 |
40 |
33 |
3 |
4 |
630 |
Hmm, this could be a little more serious than we first thought. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
631 |
think you have problems? look at me! |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
632 |
I think it's heartburn. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
633 |
Your charts indicate a history of inflammation. |
1.2750 |
0.07150 |
40 |
29 |
11 |
0 |
634 |
This doesn't end well. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
635 |
No worries....you won't be here for long. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
636 |
This treatment is fairly controversial. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
637 |
On the plus side, you'll be less dependent on fossil fuels. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
638 |
Worst case of heartburn I've ever seen. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
639 |
You have chartburn. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
640 |
And I thought your cholesterol was high. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
641 |
This won't happen after we switch to electronic medical records. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
642 |
Any medical experiments I should know about? |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
643 |
It's a lot more than a flicker of hope |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
644 |
Trust me, you don't want to know. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
645 |
For you, this lab report looks entirely normal, Mr. Lucifer. |
1.2750 |
0.10119 |
40 |
33 |
3 |
4 |
646 |
This is the effects of the GOP healthcare bill. |
1.2750 |
0.10119 |
40 |
33 |
3 |
4 |
647 |
I burned a copy of your medical report for your records. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
648 |
Your insurance company doesn't pay me to explain the results. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
649 |
This treatment should have an immediate effect in reducing your list of symptoms. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
650 |
One thing I can tell you, these test results will be difficult to handle. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
651 |
If your health plan won't cover it, your fire insurance will. |
1.2750 |
0.10119 |
40 |
33 |
3 |
4 |
652 |
I think you'll be fine if you cut back on the jalapeños. |
1.2750 |
0.07150 |
40 |
29 |
11 |
0 |
653 |
Your rectal exam results are saying you should lay off on Taco Bell. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
654 |
The results call for an anti-inflammatory. |
1.2750 |
0.07150 |
40 |
29 |
11 |
0 |
655 |
Worst diagnosis of Heat Burn I have ever seen... |
1.2750 |
0.10119 |
40 |
33 |
3 |
4 |
656 |
Let's start over - the readout says you're dead. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
657 |
I have your spontaneous human combustion test results. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
658 |
This isn't your chart, it's just your money. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
659 |
Coverage is being denied! |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
660 |
Let's just say the Gates of Hell are ready to claim you. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
661 |
It saves on malpractice suits. |
1.2750 |
0.07150 |
40 |
29 |
11 |
0 |
662 |
I often see this during flu and brush fire season. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
663 |
Your pyrokinesis is indeed impressive, but the bill will still need to be paid. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
664 |
Do you have any long-term travel plans? |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
665 |
Apparently we are no longer accepting your health plan. You've been assigned to the high risk pool. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
666 |
Wow! I've never seen a referral denied THAT quickly! |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
667 |
Before I give you the results, check out this flyer from the crematorium. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
668 |
I'm afraid it's chartburn. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
669 |
Well, first of all, you look terrific. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
670 |
Our new, interactive records system tells me that you have a fever. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
671 |
On a scale from 1 to 10, with this being a 10, rate your burning sensation. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
672 |
Good news first? |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
673 |
YOU HAVE TO LAY OFF THE HOT SAUCE. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
674 |
The test results show that you might want to curb your sex life a bit.... |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
675 |
Ah, don't read anything into this. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
676 |
I'm afraid the news is not good. Moreover, I've received this from hell confirming your reservation. |
1.2750 |
0.10119 |
40 |
33 |
3 |
4 |
677 |
No, it doesn't mean you're hot stuff |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
678 |
You might feel a slight burning sensation |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
679 |
I think we can skip the urinalysis. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
680 |
And there's no family history of pyrokinesis? |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
681 |
Apparently your insurance company is denying coverage. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
682 |
The only thing I can find is some inflammation in your chart. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
683 |
This won't take long. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
684 |
Sorry, it's HIPAA. Says "Burn after reading." |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
685 |
Your chart indicates you should be drinking more water. |
1.2750 |
0.07150 |
40 |
29 |
11 |
0 |
686 |
...But other than that, everything appears normal. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
687 |
I'm sorry, but your insurance doesn't cover demonic possession. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
688 |
Your results are... abnormal. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
689 |
Relax, this isn't your test results. It's my divorce agreement. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
690 |
It's fine. No one can read my handwriting anyway. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
691 |
You've been watching cable news again, haven't you. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
692 |
As you can see it's not good news. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
693 |
It's confirmed, you are a hot mess. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
694 |
Sir. I'm afraid that your insurer denied treatment for pyromania. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
695 |
I think it is under control. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
696 |
While I suspected an unusual form of heartburn, the report indicates you're just a flaming idiot. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
697 |
You'll need to fill a script for a nonnegotiable ceasefire. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
698 |
No no no. Your results are fine. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
699 |
Your secret is safe with me.... |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
700 |
This isn't your diagnosis. It's your bill. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
701 |
It's hot at first, but then you'll get used to it! |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
702 |
That's fine, I didn't like the second opinion anyway. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
703 |
I think what we need here is an anti-inflammatory. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
704 |
Clark, stop staring at your lab report. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
705 |
Uh, well, this IS the second opinion. |
1.2750 |
0.07150 |
40 |
29 |
11 |
0 |
706 |
The inflammation is even worse than I thought. |
1.2750 |
0.10119 |
40 |
33 |
3 |
4 |
707 |
I'm afraid there isn't much time. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
708 |
You're right. You have a hunka, hunka burning love |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
709 |
I can't say how long you have to live, but you're going to hell. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
710 |
Well Sam, it looks like the diagnosis is chart burn. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
711 |
This is you sitting on your ass. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
712 |
Your test results appear quite normal, Speaker Ryan. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
713 |
No, this test is pretty conclusive. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
714 |
Sorry, appears you have Trumpcare. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
715 |
You need to drink more water. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
716 |
HIPPA guidelines - it improves confidentiality. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
717 |
I think I am going to start you on some anti-inflammatory agents. |
1.2750 |
0.07996 |
40 |
30 |
9 |
1 |
718 |
Hold on. I'm getting a message from your insurance company! |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
719 |
Your heartburn results are back. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
720 |
Test results? This is your insurance policy. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
721 |
And that's just your liver! |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
722 |
Your chart says smoker |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
723 |
It's even worse than it looks. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
724 |
And for my next trick I'm going to make you stop smoking. |
1.2750 |
0.10119 |
40 |
33 |
3 |
4 |
725 |
Well, I think we have the answer from your provider. |
1.2750 |
0.09465 |
40 |
32 |
5 |
3 |
726 |
Let me put it this way. |
1.2750 |
0.08761 |
40 |
31 |
7 |
2 |
727 |
Your test results are disturbing. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
728 |
I should have started with the good news. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
729 |
Whatever you've got, it's getting braver. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
730 |
It appears you need a very strong anti-inflammatory |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
731 |
I think I will give you that referral. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
732 |
This diagnosis will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
733 |
...and we are left with only the bad news. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
734 |
According to the lab results, you're a hot mess. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
735 |
Your cholesterol looks better, but you need to lay off the habañeros. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
736 |
I’d say you narrowly escaped a case of spontaneous combustion. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
737 |
Amazing test. Not only do we know how and when you’ll die, but where you’ll be spending eternity. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
738 |
These lab results show acute inflammation. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
739 |
Do you want to call your wife or the undertaker? |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
740 |
Where would you like your ashes spread? |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
741 |
What you don't know can't hurt you. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
742 |
It's our new way to get rid of disease. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
743 |
Let's see here...do you want the good .....oh, never mind. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
744 |
Then we read the ashes. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
745 |
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we're burning your files, you have 6 months to live. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
746 |
You have a fever. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
747 |
We've determined the cause of the burning sensaton. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
748 |
Have you traveled to Hell in the last 60 days? |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
749 |
Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news first? |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
750 |
The lab results show you're healthy but still eternally damned. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
751 |
This can't be good. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
752 |
Just our way of showing how much we respect your privacy. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
753 |
Flame bursts typically mean you’re in a high-deductible plan—and you lied about being a nonsmoker on the form. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
754 |
My malpractice attorney doesn't believe in paper trails. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
755 |
We maintain confidentiality by keeping no records. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
756 |
The good news is, I'm not sleeping with your wife. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
757 |
I know its frustrating, but we take patient confidentiality very seriously. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
758 |
Bad news. Your inflammation has spread. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
759 |
The medical privacy laws are getting out of hand. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
760 |
You're just fine, but your chart's terminal. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
761 |
Have you been having any hot flashes? |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
762 |
I'm sorry to say, you are one hot mess! |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
763 |
Your lab results indicate you have spontaneous indigestion. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
764 |
This insures that your medical records are HIPAA compliant. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
765 |
Your file was fake news. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
766 |
I'm putting you on the water diet. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
767 |
Probably a good time to update your life insurance. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
768 |
Mexican food during your colonoscopy fasting, Ralph? |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
769 |
Whether the glass is half empty or full, you might want to dump it on this and hope for the best. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
770 |
Not only can I not show you, but these new HIPPA privacy safeguards prevent me from even reading your test results. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
771 |
Symptoms may include a burning sensation when you pay. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
772 |
Sorry...this has been happening ever since Congress attempted to reform health care. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
773 |
Says here you're a pyromaniac. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
774 |
We use self-destructing paper to protect your privacy |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
775 |
We're going to treat this aggressively with water and sand. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
776 |
Do you want the good news or the bad news first....and hurry up and decide. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
777 |
A little on the high side |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
778 |
You have quite the inflammation |
1.2632 |
0.10455 |
38 |
32 |
2 |
4 |
779 |
We can definitely get you in that trial. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
780 |
Yes, a burning sensation...I can see that. |
1.2632 |
0.07239 |
38 |
28 |
10 |
0 |
781 |
Your test results, Mr. Phelps. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
782 |
Looks like your premiums just went up again. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
783 |
Alt-insurance, alt-treatment! |
1.2632 |
0.10455 |
38 |
32 |
2 |
4 |
784 |
This diagnosis will self-destruct in five seconds. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
785 |
It's the results from your afterlife screening. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
786 |
Path lab's sick sense of humor. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
787 |
Inflammation seems to be your problem. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
788 |
Good, you're sitting down. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
789 |
Preliminary results suggest heartburn. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
790 |
The anti-inflammatory doesn't seem to be working. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
791 |
When is this fucking acid going to wear off? |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
792 |
You should get second opinion. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
793 |
These new informed consents self destruct after signing |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
794 |
Mind if I get that urine sample right here and now? |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
795 |
I thought this was better than telling you your test results. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
796 |
OK. Records show you just moved here from Hell. Is that correct ? |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
797 |
Your heartburn is getting a little serious! |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
798 |
I guess the filibuster didn't work. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
799 |
Let's say your lab results are rather concerning |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
800 |
Looks like we'll be scheduling you for a covert operation. |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
801 |
You have a serious inflammation! |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
802 |
It's not cancer, just inflammation. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
803 |
I could try to diagnose this but would feel better if you saw a specialist. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
804 |
I recommend blowing on it. |
1.2632 |
0.07239 |
38 |
28 |
10 |
0 |
805 |
It's a hellish diagnosis, I'm afraid. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
806 |
Your prognosis is, well....it's not great. |
1.2632 |
0.07239 |
38 |
28 |
10 |
0 |
807 |
It looks like a referral to a specialist is in order. |
1.2632 |
0.07239 |
38 |
28 |
10 |
0 |
808 |
There's good news and there's bad news. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
809 |
Good news is I've identified what's causing that burning sensation. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
810 |
You tested positive for eternal damnation. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
811 |
I have some good news and some bad news. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
812 |
If you'd told me you were with the CIA, I wouldn't have held your chart to read it. |
1.2632 |
0.10455 |
38 |
32 |
2 |
4 |
813 |
This ensures full compliance with HIPAA |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
814 |
As bad as this looks, the cure can be found in the sink to your left.... |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
815 |
We're going digital. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
816 |
On the whole, I'd say you're done for. |
1.2632 |
0.08992 |
38 |
30 |
6 |
2 |
817 |
The horcrux has been destroyed. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
818 |
I see here that you have not been eating an apple a day |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
819 |
Well, it's not good news. |
1.2632 |
0.10455 |
38 |
32 |
2 |
4 |
820 |
Malpractice? I don't think you have a case. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
821 |
See, you really need to take it with a glass of water! |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
822 |
Make a wish |
1.2632 |
0.09751 |
38 |
31 |
4 |
3 |
823 |
We call it Repeal and Incinerate. |
1.2632 |
0.08163 |
38 |
29 |
8 |
1 |
824 |
Forget the aspirin, a glass of water will do fine. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
825 |
And I see here your insurance was denied. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
826 |
Whoops -- I see your insurance just lapsed. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
827 |
The lab tests came back as inconclusive, but I think we're dealing with chronic inflammation |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
828 |
Sorry. It wasn't a false alarm. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
829 |
Your health insurance company is going up in flames. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
830 |
Mr. Travolta it seems you have a rare case of 'disco inferno' |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
831 |
Seems to be more of a spiritual dilemma. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
832 |
I’ve alerted the CDC and the Fire Department. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
833 |
Your labs showed some red flags. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
834 |
It's going to take more than an anti-inflammatory. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
835 |
Well, that explains the burning. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
836 |
Maybe it's better you didn't know the results. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
837 |
Yeah, but other than that, your test results seem perfectly normal. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
838 |
Well, the good news is that you don't have hypothermia |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
839 |
I can't guarantee confidentiality, but it's a start! |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
840 |
This will sting a bit. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
841 |
I've got good news and bad news. You're gonna want the good news first. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
842 |
We've received your test results, Mr. Brown, and I'm concerned. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
843 |
Do you experience burning during urination? |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
844 |
Now, do you think cremation is right for you? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
845 |
That's some fever you have there, Mr. Burns. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
846 |
To be honest with you, your lab results are a report from hell |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
847 |
I'm afraid I have some bad news, Kevin. Your test results have self-immolated. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
848 |
It appears Satan likes your résumé. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
849 |
Your Urology report came back |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
850 |
It looks like you ate a fire ant. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
851 |
The test results are positive, yet again, concerning your eternal damnation. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
852 |
And when did you start losing control of your super power? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
853 |
We're very serious about patient privacy. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
854 |
I would say we need to run some more tests. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
855 |
Let's just start from scratch. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
856 |
Just how long did you work on your tan in Chernobyl? |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
857 |
Your test results indicate you have an inflammation. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
858 |
No, it's not a miracle. I was trying to hide my cigarette. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
859 |
You have spontaneous combustion. And apparently it's contagious. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
860 |
Report shows you have a flaming hemorrhoid. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
861 |
You say this started after you watched a Steven King Movie ? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
862 |
I've got the test results. You were right, you are a hot mess. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
863 |
This is going to hurt. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
864 |
Do you have any family history of spontaneous combustion? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
865 |
Well, there goes the good news. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
866 |
Oh. You printed out my Web M.D. physician reviews? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
867 |
You have the worst case of reflux I've ever seen. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
868 |
No, no, you're still dying. The good news is that I remembered to bring my fireproof gloves today. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
869 |
I'm afraid it's pyrokinesis. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
870 |
The problem appears to be inflammation. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
871 |
Time to cut down on the habaneros. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
872 |
Your diagnosis, should you choose to accept it... |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
873 |
Your heartburn is obviously more severe than we thought. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
874 |
you have a bad case of chart burn |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
875 |
Sir, this is why you don't eat ghost peppers. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
876 |
These are your lab results. Anything you'd like to tell me? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
877 |
These lab results suggest we should both quit smoking. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
878 |
Your Tabasco numbers are a little high. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
879 |
I'm afraid your chronic inflammation is off the charts. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
880 |
Sorry for the wait. We've been putting out fires all morning. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
881 |
I am not going to sugarcoat it, the results of your tests are not good... |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
882 |
According to our new virtual medical records, you either have heartburn or hemorrhoids. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
883 |
Sorry, our paperless charting is not portable. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
884 |
Okay Mr. Trump. So now that I have burned your physical report, you want me to write that you are in the most incredible shape of any man I have ever seen.. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
885 |
Privacy regulations. You'll never know. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
886 |
Odds are your insurance won't cover it. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
887 |
Here's our new privacy policy. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
888 |
I recommend taking this with a glass of water. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
889 |
Your biopsy results tell me you are still eating those hot peppers. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
890 |
About that STD... |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
891 |
Looks like they've moved their ACA replacement to production. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
892 |
You'd be correct to assume that it is not good news, Mr. Young. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
893 |
We should have had you on a stronger anti-inflammatory. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
894 |
Please point to your level of inflammation. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
895 |
Okay, fine, other than the burning sensation, everything is normal. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
896 |
It's called SnapChart |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
897 |
Your diagnosis is not good. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
898 |
Trumpcare requires us to reduce our files. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
899 |
Given your medical history, I’ll pursue a less traditional approach. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
900 |
I'm sorry to say you have hemroids. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
901 |
Man. Our new report writer really whips these out fast. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
902 |
This is usually used to treat something else, but it might work here. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
903 |
Now, no one will know you're a woman unless you want them to. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
904 |
We just received this reply from your health insurance provider and it doesn't look encouraging. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
905 |
Feeling a little feverish, are you? |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
906 |
Let's just say you shouldn't buy green bananas. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
907 |
Noses are fucking hard as hell to draw, amirite? Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and draw whatever. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
908 |
We're going paperless. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
909 |
Well, it appears as though the Affordable Care Act has been repealed after all. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
910 |
There goes your health plan. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
911 |
Your libido is off-the-charts! |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
912 |
Our tests indicate you have a rare form of spontaneous combustion! |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
913 |
What did you eat |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
914 |
Too soon for my performance art piece on Trumpcare Mr Ryan? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
915 |
I see you're having a flare up. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
916 |
To show you our commitment to electronic medical records. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
917 |
Quick: the good news first or the bad?? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
918 |
I'm afraid it's worse than heartburn. It's chartburn. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
919 |
Your prognosis sounds much better than it appears. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
920 |
Telling me in advance that my nurse is your ex-wife would have been prudent. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
921 |
...and that's just the lab report. |
1.2500 |
0.10820 |
36 |
31 |
1 |
4 |
922 |
Side effects may include pyrokinesis. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
923 |
I'm afraid you've had another flare up |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
924 |
You got a hunka hunka burning love from somebody. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
925 |
I see you're still a pyromaniac. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
926 |
Uh oh, it looks like we'e going to need your fire insurance policy number. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
927 |
When this happens to a patient's records, it's usually not a good omen. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
928 |
You really must stop smoking. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
929 |
Do you believe in the afterlife? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
930 |
I'm not alarmed, but something has caught my eye. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
931 |
The interaction of the drugs you take could be a problem. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
932 |
Dont' be alarmed, it's just a new HIPPA requirement |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
933 |
No need to bend over, just stop, drop, and roll. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
934 |
I don't have malpractice insurance but I am covered for fire |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
935 |
As you can see, results from tests we ran on your eternal soul are back from the lab... |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
936 |
Hemorrhoids. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
937 |
I don't see any reason to be concerned |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
938 |
By any chance, do you ever experience a burning sensation? |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
939 |
That's what I think of your first opinion! |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
940 |
We really, really don't accept HMO. |
1.2500 |
0.10820 |
36 |
31 |
1 |
4 |
941 |
It seems you’re running a bit of a temperature. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
942 |
Your Affordable Care Act benefits are really going up in flames . |
1.2500 |
0.10820 |
36 |
31 |
1 |
4 |
943 |
You're fine, but your chart has a pre-existing ignition. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
944 |
Sorry. I'm usually doing a magic act at the club on Thursdays. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
945 |
Our HMO is taking this paperless thing seriously. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
946 |
Your Obamacare policy finally exploded. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
947 |
The tests were inconclusive, but I think you should drink more water. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
948 |
This is just the Constitution. Your Obamacare policy hasn't burst into flames just yet. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
949 |
It's worse than I thought. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
950 |
We'll be starting you on something for the heartburn. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
951 |
Have you tried icing it? |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
952 |
No need for alarm, just drink plenty of liquids. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
953 |
Second opinion? Well, I guess we won't be needing this. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
954 |
Maybe cut back on the habaneros. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
955 |
You really need to quit fracking. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
956 |
This is what I think of second opinions. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
957 |
To maintain your insurance, we are confirming that you have no preexisting conditions |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
958 |
I tell most patients to avoid asbestos but in your case... |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
959 |
Evidently your ex-wife has contributed to your medical history. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
960 |
New HIPAA privacy rules |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
961 |
Unfortunately, the test came back positive. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
962 |
Swallow 2 fire extinguishers and call me in the morning. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
963 |
I don't think you'll get a second opinion. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
964 |
Now without looking at me, how long has this 'stare at something and it burns' thing been going on? |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
965 |
You have no pre existing conditions |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
966 |
I'm going to have to Google these results |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
967 |
Would you rather hear the good news first? |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
968 |
You're a hot mess.... |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
969 |
Not what I intended by a carbon copy of your records... |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
970 |
I see you haven't been taking those anti-inflammation pills we talked about. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
971 |
This is what I think of your Contract of Carriage Mr. Munoz. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
972 |
You've been diagnosed with pyromania. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
973 |
Your plan only covers a reading of the ashes. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
974 |
I see you suffer from a burning sensation. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
975 |
All I ever do around here is put out fires. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
976 |
Well on paper it looks like classic heartburn. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
977 |
Of course you might want to get a second opinion. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
978 |
It's our new privacy policy. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
979 |
This IS the second opinion. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
980 |
You really don't want to know! |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
981 |
I am going to recommend you get a second opinion. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
982 |
Your results suggest it may be serious. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
983 |
Right now we can not concern ourselves about the side effects |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
984 |
Now for out next test Mr. Kent I'm going to hold up a piece of wood, |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
985 |
HIPAA requires that I burn after reading. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
986 |
It's not as bad as it looks. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
987 |
....and who are you? |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
988 |
Before I tell you the results, I must warn you that there is cause for concern. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
989 |
Malpractice insurance is too expensive, we can only afford fire. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
990 |
I'm sorry, sir; your chances just went up in smoke. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
991 |
We're well beyond a topical. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
992 |
I suggest you cut back on the chili peppers. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
993 |
Where did you say those mushrooms came from? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
994 |
Your coverage self-combusts in the event of an illness. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
995 |
We take confidentiality very seriously in this practice. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
996 |
Your blood work says you are toast. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
997 |
I share your concerns... pre-existing no longer. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
998 |
Just sign right here and you can live forever... |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
999 |
Definitely a new strain of heartburn. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
1000 |
Yes, I'm positive you have eye inflammation. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
1001 |
Unfortunately, the inflammation is spreading. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
1002 |
It's the new patient privacy regulations,now nobody gets to see the test results. |
1.2500 |
0.10820 |
36 |
31 |
1 |
4 |
1003 |
Now close your right eye and tell me if you see anything unusual? |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1004 |
I can only imagine how it feels when you urinate. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1005 |
Yes we do take medical privacy very seriously at this clinic. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1006 |
Don't worry about your tiny hands, I have two eyelashes and my nose is an 'L'. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1007 |
It's just inflammation. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1008 |
The test came back positive: you've got heartburn. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
1009 |
The test results say that you are going straight to hell. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1010 |
You need to lay off the sriracha sauce. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1011 |
I don't know what it is, but I bet it hurts like hell. |
1.2500 |
0.07319 |
36 |
27 |
9 |
0 |
1012 |
Your chart says you're not going to Heaven. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1013 |
Its the Mother Of All Prescriptions. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1014 |
Well, your hemorrhoids have gotten much worse. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1015 |
So you really did sell your soul to the devil! |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1016 |
Your lab report indicates acute inflammation. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1017 |
The good news is, we found out what's wrong with your liver. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
1018 |
Your labs indicate we up the anti-inflammatories and we do a joint TED talk. |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
1019 |
You've really let yourself go to hell. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1020 |
You're letting yourself go to hell |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1021 |
The inflammation concerns me. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1022 |
I didn't realize your heartburn treatment could become ironic. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1023 |
This can't be good news... |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
1024 |
On the bright side, the other three humors look pretty good. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1025 |
Sometimes it's not just your pants that catch on fire. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1026 |
It's the worst case of inflammation that I've ever seen! |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1027 |
Then we read the ashes and your treatment plan will be clear |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1028 |
It's not your test results; it's the amount of the fee for them. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1029 |
I have bad news, your DNA results indicate you are mainly from Hell. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1030 |
Whatever you have, it's not good. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1031 |
The test results indicate that not only are you going to die, you're going to burn in hell. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1032 |
We found arsonic in your blood. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1033 |
Oops, your insurance policy seems to be self destructing |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1034 |
Highest phosphorous count I've seen. |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1035 |
I see you suffer from pyrokinesis. |
1.2500 |
0.09237 |
36 |
29 |
5 |
2 |
1036 |
You have a VERY high fever! |
1.2500 |
0.10059 |
36 |
30 |
3 |
3 |
1037 |
Let's see Mr. Lucifer, where should we start? |
1.2500 |
0.08333 |
36 |
28 |
7 |
1 |
1038 |
And now could you describe the burning sensation on a scale of one to ten. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1039 |
Looks like you have hemorrhoids. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1040 |
This is radical, but you'll never complain of heartburn ever again. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1041 |
Your fire policy won't cover these tests either. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1042 |
So much for your pre-existing condition. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1043 |
The good news is: I have the hottest new research on your condition. |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1044 |
Aha! A slightly elevated reticulocyte count. We see this in a lot of our demonic possession patients. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1045 |
I’m afraid your rhetoric is inflamed. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1046 |
You're running a temperature of 451. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1047 |
You could of just said "I would prefer to not have a colonoscopy." |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1048 |
Your lab report is, well, hellacious. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1049 |
The lab has called. This is the worst case of heartburn they have ever seen. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1050 |
The tests suggest you cut back on tequila-flamed shrimp tostadas. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1051 |
Well, I suppose it could be a false positive. |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1052 |
We'll have to adjust your x-ray vision settings. |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1053 |
' Now is definitely the time to have that end of life discussion with your family.' |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1054 |
You definitely are going to need a Colonoscopy! |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1055 |
We'll never speak of these results again. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1056 |
Well, sorry, but that's it for Obamacare. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1057 |
I have good news and I have bad news. |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1058 |
Your inflammation is off the chart |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1059 |
For burning hemorrhoids we fight fire with fire. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1060 |
Using your psychokinetic power to burn your chart isn't going to change my diagnosis, Fred. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1061 |
Classic Chartburn. Lay off the Mexican food. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1062 |
You're right. You are burning up. |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1063 |
Are you sure you're not having any burning upon urination? |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1064 |
You know, Mr. Miller, I can always make another copy of your bill. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1065 |
So , Mr. Montag, any preexisting conditions? |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1066 |
I have the results of your tests, and they don't look good. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1067 |
You really must take care to hydrate more frequently. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1068 |
I wish I could tell you its just a regular hemorrhoid. |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1069 |
Just one more magic trick and then we'll check your knee, ok? |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1070 |
Let me start from the bottom. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1071 |
OK, it's done Julie, no evidence of the operation ever having had taken place. |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1072 |
I don't mean to alarm you, but I've never seen a flare up this bad. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1073 |
Looks like you have a pre-existing condition |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1074 |
I find you devilishly hard to diagnose. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1075 |
Well sir, I guess these were alternative facts after all. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1076 |
I find this method significantly reduces any HIPAA violation concerns. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1077 |
Your results are worse than I expected. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1078 |
I'm sorry. I've been instructed to rigorously deny you treatment. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1079 |
You will self-destruct in 10 minutes. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1080 |
What kind of chilis did you say you ate? |
1.2353 |
0.07384 |
34 |
26 |
8 |
0 |
1081 |
I am going to take the oxygen out of the room, now. |
1.2353 |
0.10392 |
34 |
29 |
2 |
3 |
1082 |
On the plus side, we've ruled out asbestos poisoning. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1083 |
Yes, yes, I absolutely understand! |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1084 |
I recommend you see a pyrologist. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1085 |
Do you have a history of pyromania? |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1086 |
We're burning all of our records into a cloud. |
1.2353 |
0.09496 |
34 |
28 |
4 |
2 |
1087 |
I am afraid your lab results are disappointing. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1088 |
Told ya you're a hot mess. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1089 |
Youe health is fine. This is just another consequence of global warming. |
1.2353 |
0.08506 |
34 |
27 |
6 |
1 |
1090 |
The good news is we found you a match... |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1091 |
I'm going to have to read this very quickly, so listen carefully. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1092 |
Now let me know if this recreates your symptoms. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1093 |
OMG, you should be dead. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1094 |
It seems your insurance carrier has refused coverage. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1095 |
Your cholesterol levels are a little higher than I typically like to see. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1096 |
I'm afraid it's spreading. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1097 |
Should you get ill, my secretary will disavow all knowledge of this diagnosis. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1098 |
To answer your question, breathing fire is a constant side effect of your condition. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1099 |
Medical Privacy meets Mission Impossible. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1100 |
First the good news---an ambulance has already been dispatched. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1101 |
Our newest technology to dissuade Russian hackers |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1102 |
You've been burning calories like crazy! |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1103 |
Federal and state laws mandate that you are legally compelled to inform all of your past sexual partners of this diagnosis. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1104 |
Don't worry -- this always happens whenever Trump mentions Obamacare. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1105 |
Apparently you did not read Article VI, Clause D, page 17,954, of the Affordable Care Act. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1106 |
I picked this up while practicing in Vegas. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1107 |
They say you should know everything but I’m not convinced. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1108 |
I got a magic set for my birthday--voilla. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1109 |
Really, it only reads that you'll have a slight burning sensation |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1110 |
Trust, me. In your condition, this is the best option. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1111 |
It's a new hemorrhoid treatment - just bend over and clasp your knees, please. |
1.2188 |
0.10752 |
32 |
28 |
1 |
3 |
1112 |
Mr. Bond, your secret is safe - this Viagra prescription will self-destruct in 10 seconds. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1113 |
Looks like you may have heartburn. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1114 |
It says, 'You are possessed'. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1115 |
Looks like your symptoms are flaring up. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1116 |
Your insurance did cover the tests, but not the results. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1117 |
Mr. Bradbury, you have a body temperature of 451º |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1118 |
Could you come in 15 minutes early next appointment and fill these out---again? |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1119 |
Good luck getting your prescription filled. This has every indication of Russian interference with the erection process. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1120 |
Needless to say, it wasn't good news. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1121 |
I'm afraid the report speaks for itself. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1122 |
The results of your labs are alarming. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1123 |
A simple anti inflammatory should clear this up. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1124 |
X-ray machine is down so I'm going to read these ashes. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1125 |
Be sure to take this with a full glass of water. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1126 |
I'm going to need more tests |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1127 |
This is your stomach on taco Tuesday, any questions? |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1128 |
I'm afraid I have some bad news... |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1129 |
Inflammatory bowel disease, worst case I've seen. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1130 |
Your chart has a few irregularities. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1131 |
It's the Administration's new scorched-earth health care reform. |
1.2188 |
0.10752 |
32 |
28 |
1 |
3 |
1132 |
I think these test results are self explanatory. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1133 |
You had insurance. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1134 |
It's actually worse than it looks. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1135 |
What's the name of that Mexican restaurant again? |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1136 |
Well, I used to say the medical results don't lie. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1137 |
Yes, it's for, um uh, patient confidentiality purposes... |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1138 |
I've seen this before...you're out of network aren't you? |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1139 |
Your chart looks like hell! |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1140 |
Your test results confirm your jalapeno addiction. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1141 |
After taking a swab of your month the evidence points to a possible link to a dragon from 800 A D. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1142 |
This is our new breath test. Extinguish this as fast as possible. Go! |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1143 |
This prescription has one little side effect. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1144 |
You weren't supposed to urinate directly on the forms, but I think we might have bigger problems here. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1145 |
You'll be fine but your bill is about to explode. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1146 |
And who did you say referred you, Mr. Faust? |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1147 |
Some insurance authorizations just do this. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1148 |
The good news is it's not contagious. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1149 |
We think you might be possessed, |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1150 |
As you can see, the drug's side effects are still being determined. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1151 |
I found a match for your DNA. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1152 |
Well, there went the good news. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1153 |
So do you want the good news or the bad news first? |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1154 |
Based on what I'm seeing in the ashes, your ancestors think it's a urinary tract infection. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1155 |
Our new Internet firewall ensures that no one will ever gain unauthorized access ro your medical records. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1156 |
That *was* the second opinion. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1157 |
Tell me, does your medical insurance have insurance? |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1158 |
We're serious about patient confidentiality. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1159 |
The new patient-records confidentiality system is still a little buggy. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1160 |
The good news is, your test results will expire before you do. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1161 |
Lets discuss your hemorrhoid results. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1162 |
This is the most contagious gonorrhea I've ever seen |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1163 |
If your hand doesn't burn, you have health coverage. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1164 |
Vasectomy? |
1.2188 |
0.10752 |
32 |
28 |
1 |
3 |
1165 |
Do I have an inflamed tissue? |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1166 |
No more pre-xisting condition |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1167 |
Seems Trump just bombed your Obamacare. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1168 |
We take patient confidentiality very seriously. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1169 |
Funny, I'm also feeling a burning sensation. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1170 |
Trump Care, for now. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1171 |
Never mind the Rorschach test. At this juncture, we have three options left: revisit your laser eye surgery, embed you in a fire brigade or sign you up with a Marvel agent. Personally, I favor the last. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1172 |
Do you want the good news, first, or the bad news? |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1173 |
The internet of things says it could be many things. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1174 |
I'm destroying the evidence. You don't want solicitors finding out you're O-negative. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1175 |
Yeah, the Trumpcare rollout has had a few problems. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1176 |
Samsung tablet. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1177 |
This is the worst case of inflamed hemorrhoids I've ever seen. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1178 |
It's part of our Bronze Member confidentiality policy. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1179 |
Your condition is flaring up again, I see. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1180 |
Our policy is to share your medical records with no one. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1181 |
Now, about your hemorrhoids... |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1182 |
My malpractice lawyer insists. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1183 |
What's wrong? Well, that seems to be the burning question. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1184 |
It's your insurance policy, it's set to auto-destruct |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1185 |
You don't want your wife to see these charts. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1186 |
Do you want the good news or the bad news? |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1187 |
Your test results are negative, but your Twitter feed is on fire. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1188 |
I'm afraid that your test results reveal some burning issues! |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1189 |
I have the results of your STD tests. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1190 |
take two tablets and you will be the leader of a great people before you die. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1191 |
This represents you living with hemorrhoids. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1192 |
Nurse, fire extinguisher...and you can forget about the thermometer. |
1.2188 |
0.10752 |
32 |
28 |
1 |
3 |
1193 |
After you read the patient his bill, it will self destruct so he cannot question it. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1194 |
Bad news. It looks inflamed, John. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1195 |
Looks like a bad case of chartburn. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1196 |
It would be a mistake to ignore your test results. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1197 |
I'm afraid your illness has progressed to the "make burnt offerings to the gods" stage. |
1.2188 |
0.10752 |
32 |
28 |
1 |
3 |
1198 |
Now just imagine these are your hemorrhoids... |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1199 |
You have an inflammatory condition. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1200 |
I don't like the looks of your PSA test results. |
1.2188 |
0.09770 |
32 |
27 |
3 |
2 |
1201 |
We are HIPAA-compliant. |
1.2188 |
0.07425 |
32 |
25 |
7 |
0 |
1202 |
Your test results are back...Why don't you just go out and make the best of today. |
1.2188 |
0.08677 |
32 |
26 |
5 |
1 |
1203 |
I have some burning questions about your lifestyle choices. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1204 |
Your lab results seem to indicate you've taken up smoking again. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1205 |
Your cholesterol looks fine, but you're still running a temperature of 451 degrees Fahrenheit. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1206 |
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I am just getting warmed up. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1207 |
No chart, no pre-existing condition. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1208 |
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1209 |
I don't think you need a second opinion. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1210 |
You have a great suture in front of you. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1211 |
I think heartburn could be a factor. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1212 |
Well, you're as healthy as a horse - but God seems to be annoyed with you... |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1213 |
Based on your test results, I'd appreciate payment in advance. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1214 |
This is your brain on drugs. Do you still have questions? |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1215 |
Your Jedi powers won't save you this time. You still have to cut out salt, drink less, stop smoking, and lose weight. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1216 |
I think we're going to have to increase the strength of your antacids. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1217 |
Have you been experiencing a burning sensation? |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1218 |
Yes, fracking does seem to be involved. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1219 |
This will take care of you for now. When you get home, take the eye of a newt and some wolf-bane and, at midnight in the dark of the moon… |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1220 |
Results of your hemorrhoids test came back positive. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1221 |
The test results are back: yours is a very inflammatory condition! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1222 |
Like I told you, Mr. Sweeney, when you smoke, there's fire! |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1223 |
This is not a drill. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1224 |
It says here you're feeling a burning sensation, is that right? |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1225 |
Let's order some more tests. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1226 |
I see that your heartburn has flared up. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1227 |
Do you want to talk about this now, or after you update your will? |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1228 |
You have a very high fever, Mr. Spalding |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1229 |
You'd be more worried if my pants were on fire.. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1230 |
Looks like cancer is the GOOD news. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1231 |
It's not good news. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1232 |
Congratulations, you're burning up the charts. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1233 |
The test results are not conclusive, but it looks like Beelzebub will have your immortal soul. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1234 |
For whatever ails you, Popcorn Flambé. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1235 |
When I reach the count of 5 you will be healthy again with no trace of your ailments on file. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1236 |
Have you been baptized? |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1237 |
We don't have much time - your chart self-destructs in 5 seconds |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1238 |
It appears your hallucinations are contagious. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1239 |
Yes, I'm afraid it really is inflamed. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1240 |
Sir, if your alt-medicine shaman interferes with your x-ray one more time, your insurance will refuse to cover it. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1241 |
There is no way to sugarcoat this. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1242 |
It's the same old, same old--health insurance is got you fired up again. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1243 |
Just as I thought. A nasty case of heartburn. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1244 |
The inflammation has flared up again. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1245 |
True, it did ask you to circle the area and then best describe what it feels like |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1246 |
The DNA confirms it. Please send my regards to your mother Rosemary. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1247 |
When you said "chartburn" I really thought you meant heartburn, but I stand corrected. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1248 |
This won't happen anymore once we go digital. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1249 |
In the interest of not alarming the nurses,I have decided to destroy your chart. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1250 |
Now try to guess if these are your test results or your bill. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1251 |
The lab report on your hemorrhoids came in. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1252 |
It's a simple case of hellitosis. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1253 |
HIPPA now requires that all lab results self destruct. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1254 |
It's our latest procedure to insure medical privacy, |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1255 |
This is a new form of incentivisation that managed care provides us with to discontinue the use of paper-based medical records. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1256 |
And, do you feel a burning sensation? |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1257 |
So, spontaneous inflammation is still bothering you? |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1258 |
You need a stronger anti-inflammatory. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1259 |
It appears that you checked 'Other'. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1260 |
I think you've got a bit of a temperature! |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1261 |
I think we found the source of your heartburn. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1262 |
I'm thinking you might be contagious. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1263 |
You appear to have an inflamed co-payment. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1264 |
The tests show inflammation. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1265 |
Here are your test results -- hot off the press. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1266 |
New HIPAA regulation! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1267 |
You're a hot mess.... |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1268 |
I'm the one with the stethocope, I wouldn't be concerned. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1269 |
I don't think this can wait. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1270 |
It says here you're a smoker. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1271 |
This is a preview of where you're going in about six months. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1272 |
The news isn't good, but hey, look at the pretty colors. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1273 |
Not to worry. These results indicate you're hot and trending. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1274 |
I'm afraid that your case is simply too hot to handle. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1275 |
Doc, I think I would rather the prostate exam... |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1276 |
We are trying to go paperless! |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1277 |
Maybe I should give the good news first... |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1278 |
We have a few more tests to run but we are pretty sure it is just inflamed. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1279 |
This piece of paper, which may or may not include a humorous description of your ailment, is on fire. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1280 |
Your x-ray confirms depression and that you need a fire under your ass. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1281 |
According to your swab, it appears you have advanced triple super-herpes. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1282 |
Try not to take this literally. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1283 |
No, we don't take TrumpCare either |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1284 |
Apparently, you've already burned through your deductible. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1285 |
Results show that you need to cut back on the Tex-Mex. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1286 |
Your test results came in... it's inflammation. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1287 |
Looks like you've got the insurance plan from hell! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1288 |
Your test results came back metaphorical. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1289 |
Well, there's good cholesterol, bad cholesterol, and YOUR cholesterol... |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1290 |
Look at the bright side! Being spontaneous will help your marriage. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1291 |
Don’t worry. It's illegible anyways. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1292 |
The bad news is that you have cancer. The good news is I'm a magician. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1293 |
The burn rate on reimbursements is killing us. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1294 |
Looks like you passed the physical for posing on the firemen's calendar. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1295 |
You're not alone, Ned. Many of us still feel the Bern |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1296 |
Unfortunately, your pyro kinesis is no longer in remission. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1297 |
The good news is you are covered, but I feel like you might not have read the fine print. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1298 |
Your tests show some inflammation. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1299 |
They're incentivizing us to go digital. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1300 |
You really have Heart Burn! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1301 |
I am going to refer you to a combustion specialist! |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1302 |
Looks like we'd better get your temperature down. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1303 |
Uh... I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1304 |
Nobody knew that healthcare could be so complicated. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1305 |
Do you want the bad news or the worse news first? |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1306 |
It's part of the healthcare system's new privacy policy |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1307 |
You have the worst case of heartburn I've seen lately. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1308 |
Now let's play guess-your-diagnosis. Here's your first clue. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1309 |
Here’s your bill for the pyromania treatment. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1310 |
No news is good news. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1311 |
You've got dragon breath. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1312 |
What we have here is a bad flue. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1313 |
That's a cool magic trick, but you'll still have to have the colonoscopy. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1314 |
Let's try this and hope that your fire insurance covers it. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1315 |
De-identified data isn't |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1316 |
You do have heartburn |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1317 |
Would you like to guess the results of your STD test? |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1318 |
The prognosis is not good, and the after life looks even worse. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1319 |
And...the defense rests. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1320 |
Just as I anticipated, where there's smoke--there's fire! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1321 |
You're better off pretending the test never happened. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1322 |
I asked my new secretary to burn a copy for you. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1323 |
I m trying to understand your burning sensation. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1324 |
Even your chart is inflamed. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1325 |
I'm afraid you'll have to lay off the Mexican food. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1326 |
There's a fire bug going around. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1327 |
You have an inflamed deductible. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1328 |
The test results suggest an inflammation. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1329 |
The burning question is.... |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1330 |
We're sorry, sir, but Trumpcare has denied your claim. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1331 |
It's quite serious. You have a severe inflammation on your balance due. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1332 |
Digital records will be cooler. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1333 |
I'm sorry, but I'm on strict orders to let your health coverage crash and burn. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1334 |
You are now, officially, a non-entity. Good luck. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1335 |
I'm afraid that Trump fired your health care policy. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1336 |
Take two fire extinguishers and call me in the morning. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1337 |
It's not good news. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1338 |
Everything looks fantastic!! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1339 |
I see you have a preëxisting condition. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1340 |
You may want to cut down on the Sriracha. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1341 |
Well, Clark, your laser vision seems to be in good shape. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1342 |
Whoa, we better call Father Karras on this one. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1343 |
Test is conclusive. It's heartburn. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1344 |
Brace yourself. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1345 |
The results are in. It seems like you have a burning case of chlamydia. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1346 |
The good news - Marvel Comics is calling. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1347 |
Mr. Kent, you have irritable X-ray vision syndrome. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1348 |
Now I see what you mean about the burning sensation. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1349 |
Well, my first recommendation is that you drink more water. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1350 |
No, you're fine. The lab results have gonorrhea, though. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1351 |
I think you should see Dr. Fahrenheit. He's in room 451. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1352 |
Have you experienced any burning sensations recently? |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1353 |
I'm afraid your pyrolytics are a bit high. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1354 |
I see you have been having some inflammatory problems. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1355 |
Let's ignore the lab results ! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1356 |
Now both of us have a " burning sensation" ! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1357 |
And you were never here! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1358 |
Don't worry, just uploading your records to the cloud". |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1359 |
It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes... |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1360 |
I can inferno conclusions. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1361 |
I just accepted your Mission Impossible case. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1362 |
Yes, your results are a bit unusual.... |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1363 |
Oh, what's the point? |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1364 |
The test came back positive. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1365 |
Lab report says heartburn. |
1.2000 |
0.11142 |
30 |
27 |
0 |
3 |
1366 |
No insurance? No problem... |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1367 |
This is a lot faster than waiting to get a denial. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1368 |
It's not good news, Mr.Dante. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1369 |
Apparently, your stomach burning is spreading to your chart. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1370 |
Your lab results make me suspect some inflammation. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1371 |
I give you 6 months but I've been wrong 98 percent of the time. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1372 |
Good guess. heartburn it is. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1373 |
I'm destroying the test results. Does that make you feel better? |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1374 |
Playing pranks with our stool samples is not OK, Mr. Johnson. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1375 |
Your insurance has set all deductibles to $666. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1376 |
This is your esophagus on chili. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1377 |
I want to assure you that we are very serious about HIPAA compliance. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1378 |
you should really quit smoking. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1379 |
It's the new insurance code for 'Not Covered'. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1380 |
Here are the results from your nuclear isotope test. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1381 |
You'll probably outlive this prognosis. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1382 |
Usually, an inflammation wouldn't spread this far. |
1.2000 |
0.11142 |
30 |
27 |
0 |
3 |
1383 |
Liar ,Liar... Your chart's on fire! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1384 |
I'll even burn my diploma if that's what it takes to say I'm sorry. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1385 |
Let's skip the prostrate exam today |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1386 |
He had some burning questions to ask his patient. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1387 |
I've got bad news and I've got worse news... |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1388 |
Think of it as an ear candle for constipation. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1389 |
Let’s just keep this our little secret. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1390 |
These new Samsung health records are not working out. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1391 |
Hmm. And you're saying the Zantac didn't work? |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1392 |
It's important that you take this prescription with plenty of water. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1393 |
This will cure it, although it does have one major side effect. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1394 |
Frankly, I have never seen results this conclusive. Cut back on the spicy foods! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1395 |
I'd like to follow up on your statement that you're a non-smoker. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1396 |
What malpractice? |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1397 |
You may feel a slight burning sensation. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1398 |
Sorry- my assistant thinks April Fools lasts all month. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1399 |
Do you smoke? Liar, liar, charts on fire. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1400 |
Back in the day I saw this prank only at Halloween--some joker's nasty version of a co-pay. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1401 |
Pyrokinesis is simply not an appropriate response to disappointing test results. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1402 |
We have a hot new treatment for you! |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1403 |
Well, it's not a cold sore. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1404 |
Hmm, I think your benefits changed. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1405 |
No, no, it doesn't look bad...why do you ask? |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1406 |
Where there's stroke, there's fire. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1407 |
You have the worst case of heartburn I have ever seen. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1408 |
So, tell me more about that burning sensation. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1409 |
I'm sorry Mr. Faust. I can't find an escape clause. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1410 |
You don't want to know. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1411 |
I decided to put your EKG on the back burner. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1412 |
It's confirmed...you are a hunk of burning love. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1413 |
This may burn a little at first. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1414 |
I can't read this doctor's handwriting. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1415 |
Not to worry, second-hand smoke is the least of your problems. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1416 |
Er....You're probably going to want to seek a second opinion. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1417 |
You may experience a slight burning sensation. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1418 |
Well, you are running a fever. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1419 |
Unfortunately, the brimstone treatment, alone, did not work. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1420 |
Now let's test your reflexes.... |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1421 |
It's lit. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1422 |
According to the Internet, your results are fine. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1423 |
I'll have to prescribe you some anti-inflammatories. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1424 |
This might sting a bit. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1425 |
In your case, the consulting specialist really is God. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1426 |
I am burning up your bill, you won't be around long enough to pay it. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1427 |
This is the only proof that I performed your surgery. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1428 |
Before we can proceed, we have to reduce your most basic human rights to cinders. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1429 |
It says side effects may include spontaneous human combustion. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1430 |
Does your family have a history of spontaneous combustion? |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1431 |
You were right, you do have a burning issue |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1432 |
Oddly enough, the results aren't great either. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1433 |
I wouldn't worry. Yesterday, it was my patient who caught fire. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1434 |
Yes, it is definitively heartburn. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1435 |
That's some sneeze, Carl |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1436 |
These are your lab results, Ralph. Do you still want to claim you're only eating at the Jalapeno Hut once a week? |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1437 |
Let's start by minimizing your intake of Spicer briefings. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1438 |
The prognosis is rapid oxidation. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1439 |
Oh, I thought you said it burned when you read. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1440 |
Your attorney would have wanted to have this. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1441 |
Shall I sedate you, first? |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1442 |
It must be a hard copy virus. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1443 |
Your malady, the treatment and this disposal of your records are, of course, not covered by your insurance. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1444 |
Your high blood pressure is really impressive! |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1445 |
I'm afraid you've got dragon breath. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1446 |
This way you know your results are confidential. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1447 |
I'd say they found a way to do away with pre-existing conditions. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1448 |
So, you must be the Referral From Hell" |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1449 |
The inflammation is worse than we thought. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1450 |
Removing this should cut down on the burning sensation, but I'm still concerned about the rash. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1451 |
These test results are a bad omen |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1452 |
We have found a treatment match for your insurance |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1453 |
So, I see you are still smoking... |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1454 |
Describe your jalapeño pepper diet to me again. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1455 |
Well Mr. Smith, it would appear you weren't completely honest on this questionnaire... |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1456 |
Sorry to say but you have heat vision. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1457 |
And I would probably cut back on the jaleapenas, too. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1458 |
It's a threat from a rival HMO! |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1459 |
Raging fever! |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1460 |
Your blood test indicates a high level of chili pepper. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1461 |
As you can see inflammation is a burning issue here. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1462 |
Your health insurance plan is not worth the paper it's printed on. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1463 |
Your chart indicates an unusual degree of inflammation. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1464 |
It's simply our policy to burn the things you don't want to know. |
1.2000 |
0.07428 |
30 |
24 |
6 |
0 |
1465 |
They found another way to torch your healthcare. |
1.2000 |
0.08841 |
30 |
25 |
4 |
1 |
1466 |
This was outside the door. I'm guessing your fecal sample is in here. |
1.2000 |
0.10057 |
30 |
26 |
2 |
2 |
1467 |
I have it on file that you're a smoker. |
1.1935 |
0.09749 |
31 |
27 |
2 |
2 |
1468 |
Your test results are fine. And your doctor's a pyromaniac. |
1.1935 |
0.10796 |
31 |
28 |
0 |
3 |
1469 |
You might want to cut back on your sriracha sauce consumption. |
1.1935 |
0.08575 |
31 |
26 |
4 |
1 |
1470 |
There's no testosterone problem |
1.1935 |
0.07213 |
31 |
25 |
6 |
0 |
1471 |
Trumpcare, what can I say? |
1.1935 |
0.09749 |
31 |
27 |
2 |
2 |
1472 |
You may still be a little radioactive. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1473 |
I did mention that spontaneous combustion was a possible side effect, right? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1474 |
Your tests came back and they are pretty hot! |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1475 |
Bad decisions ? |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1476 |
Your arthritis flare-up could be much worse. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1477 |
Take two of these a day and call your insurance agent. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1478 |
I wasn't sure you would want to see the results. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1479 |
I'll call in something stronger for those occasional flare ups. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1480 |
Well, this is the bad news... |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1481 |
Believe me, it's not as bad as it looks. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1482 |
Worst case of hemorrhoids I've ever seen! |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1483 |
As doctor for the Immposible Mission Force, he finds it hard to keep a medical history on his patients. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1484 |
I've got to stop wearing polyester. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1485 |
Yes, and the worst thing about heartburn is that it can spread. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1486 |
Your health insurance company has sent an "incendiary" message concerning your medical coverage. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1487 |
Cut back on the wings |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1488 |
Your sriracha levels are high |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1489 |
You have chartburn. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1490 |
No no. Your test battery is normal. It's the tablet's. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1491 |
Unfortunately, it's not just your pants. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1492 |
I take it you're not happy with your numbers. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1493 |
Don't think the irony between your flare up and the fact that these charts are on fire has eluded me. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1494 |
Because it didn't quite feel like a 10 owl day. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1495 |
Any other reactions to the treatment besides the pyrokinesis? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1496 |
Looks like some sort of inflammatory response. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1497 |
Tell me about your urinary symptoms. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1498 |
FDA approval is imminent. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1499 |
You have a severe case of inflammation that is extremely contagious. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1500 |
That burning sensation is contagious. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1501 |
Not to worry, it's just a flaming case of jock itch. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1502 |
New corporate policy. I need to read your lab results in 5 seconds or less. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1503 |
i'm afraid it's not just heartburn. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1504 |
Your blood pressure is a tad high. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1505 |
"Unfortunately, Mr. Bradbury, your dystopian view of the future may be valid". |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1506 |
Not to worry Mr Phillips, it is just a bad case of heartburn. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1507 |
Good news, you still have some time. Bad news, we know where you'll go. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1508 |
You might want to rethink the amount of Habanero in your diet. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1509 |
You have a HELL of a case of gonorrhea. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1510 |
So I see you've been experiencing some discomfort. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1511 |
Medically speaking, this is where your health is going! |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1512 |
We might as well sing "Happy Birthday" now because you aren't going to sing it later! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1513 |
When did you quit smoking, a minute ago? |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1514 |
Cut down on the Siracha! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1515 |
You have the first case of Brimstone we've ever seen. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1516 |
The government confidentiality laws are becoming a bit excessive.. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1517 |
I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1518 |
Well, if the new health care plan does away with pre-existing conditions, perhaps then you won't think it so odd that we used flash paper to write your diagnosis. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1519 |
Let's get started |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1520 |
Simply put there is no good news |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1521 |
Let’s talk about your blood pressure and cholesterol. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1522 |
The lab results show some inflammation... |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1523 |
Your fever seems to be worsening. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1524 |
You're fine, Mr. Jones. I just need something to submit to insurance. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1525 |
I see you have been through a few doctors. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1526 |
Your medical records are private in this office. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1527 |
I'm only going to tell you once. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1528 |
I thought only Samsung phones spontaneously combusted. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1529 |
So let me be sure, all you are eating are corndogs with tabasco? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1530 |
We've got to get your fever down - stat! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1531 |
Evidence! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1532 |
I see you're a smoker. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1533 |
Your inflammation level is elevated. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1534 |
It looks worse than it is. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1535 |
Well, your results came back and your heartburn really is off the charts. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1536 |
Apparently it is not a cold after all. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1537 |
According to this, it's just a simple case of heart burn. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1538 |
I'm afraid that you may have pyromania by proxy |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1539 |
We're preparing to go paperless. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1540 |
Your test results show that you have a very bad case of heart burn. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1541 |
Your self-destructing medical charts are not helpful, Mr. Hunt. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1542 |
No more Habanero peppers for you. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1543 |
As we expected, it's textually transmitted. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1544 |
The test result shows your appendix is very inflamed. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1545 |
Which do you want first? The good news or the bad news |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1546 |
I see the inflammation hasn't subsided. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1547 |
So, it's contagious? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1548 |
Looks like we both need to call our insurance companies. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1549 |
Thanks for the $10,000; no more pre-existing condition. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1550 |
You diagnoses, if you choose to accept it... |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1551 |
This is pretty much what's happening in your lungs |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1552 |
I thought I ought to show you what a bleeding ulcer looks like. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1553 |
And the X-rays are even worse. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1554 |
Your medical record shows severe inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1555 |
You want the good news first? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1556 |
Bad news on your heartburn problem! |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1557 |
Have you recently been exposed to oxygen? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1558 |
You have what Mankoff has. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1559 |
Pyromania is a treatable condition, but your case is a bit challenging |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1560 |
Told you it burns. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1561 |
I'd like a second opinion. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1562 |
Physician assisted suicides aren’t my thing but here’s a hot sauce recipe you might like. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1563 |
This may be why selling your soul to the Devil has not been "FDA-approved". |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1564 |
Believe me, you didn't want to see this. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1565 |
I thought you said you never smoked. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1566 |
Is there something you forgot to tell me? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1567 |
I've never seen chartburn this bad. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1568 |
Look, I didn't vote for him either. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1569 |
It IS a non-affordable disease |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1570 |
On the plus side, you don't have to worry about paying off your student loans. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1571 |
Your test result has come back, do you have a family history of inflammation? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1572 |
You said it feels like a fire is in your stomach. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1573 |
You do have the flu from hell. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1574 |
It's our new firewall to protect patient information. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1575 |
Yes, well it appears that your hemorrhoids are even worse than originally diagnosed. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1576 |
Why don't we start by taking your temperature? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1577 |
Keep doing whatever you're doing, Mr. Morris. Your lab results are on fire! |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1578 |
Well, your thermography report looks good. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1579 |
I suggest you under go exorcism. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1580 |
It's definitely heartburn. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1581 |
Rather touchy about my request to give up cigarettes, aren't we? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1582 |
Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell about that trip to Bangkok? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1583 |
All I said was that you could lose a few pounds, Superman. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1584 |
I'm afraid you're going straight to hell. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1585 |
Quit smoking! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1586 |
What exactly did you 'sell' to have such good health insurance? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1587 |
I've never seen anything like this before. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1588 |
The new federally mandated record retention system still needs a little tweaking. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1589 |
Then this is what will happen to your body. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1590 |
I think you might have some sort of inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1591 |
I'm sorry. This happens every time I listen to The Doors. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1592 |
Your test results say your health is going to hell |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1593 |
Your medical records are switching over to digital . |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1594 |
Your chart indicates chronic heartburn. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1595 |
Your burning sensation...I'm afraid it may be contagious. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1596 |
Would it be fair to describe it as a burning sensation? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1597 |
You should expect some inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1598 |
I take it you disagree with this report debunking your claim of pyrokinesis. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1599 |
It's pretty clear you've been going to hell with yourself. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1600 |
Our office is going paperless. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1601 |
It only hurts when you reach for your credit card. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1602 |
I'm telling you to stop smoking. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1603 |
This office doesn't treat anyone without insurance, but I'll offer up your lab report as a sacrifice to the gods, and we'll see if they step in. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1604 |
It's the last step in our conversion to electronic medical records. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1605 |
Your insurance company is trying to tell you something. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1606 |
So first let's symbolically burn your list of pre-existing conditions... |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1607 |
I'm tripping so hard right now… |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1608 |
Oy Vey! |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1609 |
Yes, yes. A most interesting presentation, but don't say 'Ah' again. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1610 |
After the lab technician took your blood, did he ask you to sign anything? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1611 |
This is part of our "what you don't know can't hurt you" policy. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1612 |
It's required by the patient privacy act. We have to burn your test results right after we read them to you. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1613 |
It's a really bad case of heartburn. I need to refer you to an exorcist. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1614 |
We just learned your insurance won't cover this procedure! |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1615 |
In my defense, Alfonse, heart-burn doesn't usually flare up like this. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1616 |
You have "hottie" vitals |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1617 |
Let's discuss you alcohol consumption. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1618 |
"You may find this a little painful". |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1619 |
Your acid reflux test came back abnormally high |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1620 |
Your X-ray vision is fine. Do you still feel more powerful than a locomotive? |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1621 |
Sorry. The Freedom Caucus added this provision. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1622 |
It's because of a new HIPAA privacy requirement. Just sign it quickly. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1623 |
Its about my smoking, right? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1624 |
Good news first then? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1625 |
This medication may cause some inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1626 |
You might have some inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1627 |
In addition to the burning and itching symptoms, it also appears to be contagious. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1628 |
As you can see, the diagnosis is not good. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1629 |
You need to lay off the spicy food. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1630 |
Hmmm, I've heard of this side effect, but this is the first time I've seen it. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1631 |
This is the only way to keep your records private. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1632 |
Go figure. I'm also having a burning sensation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1633 |
Side effects may include pyromania. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1634 |
I think you've mixed up your appointments James, this is your yearly physical results not your mission impossible. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1635 |
In my professional opinion you need to leave. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1636 |
As we suspected, you definitely were attacked by fire ants. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1637 |
Ummm....well, it isn't good news. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1638 |
This should help clear your sinuses. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1639 |
You're probably going to want a second opinion. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1640 |
Nothing matters. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1641 |
This is not a good sign. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1642 |
This is the lab's cute way of saying that your hemorrhoids are inflamed. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1643 |
This is why doctors hesitate to prescribe pyrokenisis medication. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1644 |
...and this is your stomach on Mexican food |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1645 |
The test results show a touch of inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1646 |
Oooh...heartburn! I thought you said chart burn. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1647 |
OK I won't document your powers as pre-existing. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1648 |
This can't be good. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1649 |
Yes, that correctly describes the burning. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1650 |
We're demo-ing a new pilot program to better insure the confidentiality of patient records. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1651 |
This medication may have some unusual side-effects. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1652 |
You're going to die and go to hell. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1653 |
Do you want the good news or the bad news? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1654 |
Would you like to revise your answer to the exercise frequency question, Mr. Blenkinsop? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1655 |
This is our new firewall. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1656 |
'Ashes to ashes' ... if you catch my drift. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1657 |
We have a donor match for your inflamed liver |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1658 |
The new president is reflaming the debate about healthcare. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1659 |
No I don't give a hoot - but I can sell you one. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1660 |
Blood pressure ok, pulse normal, but your body temperature is really high! |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1661 |
The good news is, there's an ointment for this. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1662 |
You have supplemental insurance, right? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1663 |
I'm going to prescribe an anti-inflammatory. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1664 |
It seems that your insurance won't cover it |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1665 |
We use this to burn the hemorrhoids off your tuches. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1666 |
These are your lungs on cigarettes. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1667 |
It's Trump's new plan to end Obamacare. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1668 |
Any history of pyromania in the family? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1669 |
I know we're supposed to go paperless but this is ridiculous. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1670 |
So you have chronic heartburn? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1671 |
About your blood alcohol level Mr. Smith. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1672 |
Worst case of heartburn in the I have ever seen. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1673 |
Well, we've got the answer to your burning questions. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1674 |
Remember when a doctor visit meant you received the diagnosis before the bill? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1675 |
I'm afraid the billing office has declined your request for a fee reduction. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1676 |
Time to cut down on the hot sauce. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1677 |
With you, we surely gotta watch for inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1678 |
No, only if you show signs of flare vision. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1679 |
Would you describe it as a burning sensation? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1680 |
As you can see, your hemorrhoids have not improved. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1681 |
Our practice uses the latest in Promethean technology to safeguard patients' medical records. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1682 |
Do you happen to be on ObamaCare? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1683 |
Looks like you've got inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1684 |
It is part of the revised version of the paperwork reduction act. There are still some bugs to work out but it insures your privacy! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1685 |
You're going to have to reduce your jalapeno intake. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1686 |
It's better this way. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1687 |
I'm afraid you have brimstones. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1688 |
No, your test is fine. I moonlight as a magician. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1689 |
Sure, I understand. A second opinion may be helpful. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1690 |
Your fever is quite contagious! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1691 |
Where there's fire, I see a smoker. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1692 |
You have something that deserves the very highest standard of confidentiality. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1693 |
You are what you are. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1694 |
New confidentiality rules. These reports self-destruct in 60 seconds. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1695 |
Your disease, should you choose to accept it... |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1696 |
Don't worry, our medical record firewall is now HIPAA compliant. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1697 |
I took an oath to do no harm. The way I see it I'll be breaking it twice if I hand you this bill. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1698 |
Have you heard of a shredder?? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1699 |
Your insurer says they decline coverage. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1700 |
It would be best if you never saw this list of Don'ts. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1701 |
Ever see this trick before? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1702 |
Second opinion? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1703 |
From what I can read, it says 'don't ever eat your wife's jalapeño nachos again.' |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1704 |
The Pyrokinesis is definitely back. Have you been reading Stephen King again? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1705 |
I didn't think the health care bill was going to LITERALLY self-destruct. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1706 |
Are you CIA? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1707 |
Sorry, but this won't change the diagnosis. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1708 |
This is the worst case of heart burn we've had on record! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1709 |
This type of flatulence requires an experimental treatment. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1710 |
It seems all your health issues are related to inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1711 |
Do you have any other form of insurance? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1712 |
Would you like a second opinion? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1713 |
Here is the answer to your burning question |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1714 |
Oops! I need to do another round of tests. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1715 |
I have some late-breaking news on your hemmorhoids. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1716 |
Amazing! It really is exploding. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1717 |
I just have one burning question. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1718 |
The good news is you can use your Health Savings Account |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1719 |
You seem to have an extreme case of hot flashes. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1720 |
Pay your bill or we put this back in. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1721 |
One of your inflammatory markers is elevated. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1722 |
I think we can rule out a cold |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1723 |
It all has to do with that law on not releasing patients information. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1724 |
They must have just repealed Obamacare! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1725 |
I have good news and bad news. The good news is we received your test results.... |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1726 |
Under the new healthcare plan, X-rays are not covered. Just stand close to the flame. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1727 |
The good news is you won't have to worry about how you'll pay your bill. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1728 |
Judging by the results of your tests, I can tell... you touched this piece of paper before I walked in the room. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1729 |
See what I did there? Smoking? Bad for you? No? |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1730 |
So, is the burning on urination or just when you fill out insurance? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1731 |
Reviewing your sexual history I can only recommend a condoms from now on. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1732 |
Don't be alarmed |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1733 |
'Your new and improved insurance compels me to demonstrate your odds of surviving this surgery given that post-op is no longer covered, nor is anesthesia, or well, nothing really but the incision.' |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1734 |
Your mother is right. You ARE the son of the Devil. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1735 |
Do you want the good news, first, or the bad news? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1736 |
Well, that would explain the burning sensation. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1737 |
After reviewing your chart, it could be heartburn but my guess is flaming hemorrhoids |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1738 |
Looks like your inflammation is becoming acute. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1739 |
It's acid reflux. And apparently contagious. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1740 |
The prognosis, although quite preliminary is a bit inflammatory. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1741 |
Apologies, but our malpractice insurance provider has requested that we burn all medical records immediately after use |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1742 |
The results are back and you're burning up |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1743 |
You don't need a second opinion, unless it's from a priest. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1744 |
This is the only change to Obamacare that Republicans could agree on. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1745 |
Which do you want first - the bad news or the really bad news? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1746 |
Results are not yet final but it appears to be some kind of inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1747 |
These test results do indeed, confirm your "burning sensation". |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1748 |
It's a HIPPA thing... |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1749 |
Feel the burn? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1750 |
Your test results confirm you have heartburn. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1751 |
Worse case of heartburn I've seen in a while. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1752 |
We take HIPAA very seriously. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1753 |
An anti-inflammatory should help with your numbers. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1754 |
The results indicate a flare up of your inflammatory bowel disease. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1755 |
Here are your lab results, you have heat stroke. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1756 |
Well, I have some good news and bad news. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1757 |
I agree with you, this administration has taken inflammatory language to a whole new level. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1758 |
Call me old school if you wish Dan. I still don't trust that darn delete key. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1759 |
Now don't be alarmed. Just make sure you pay in cash before leaving the office. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1760 |
That’s weird! I’m experiencing a burning sensation too! |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1761 |
Our voodoo Doctor suggested this. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1762 |
Let me consult this copy of the American Health Care Act I pulled from the dumpster fire out back. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1763 |
This is our new encryption method. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1764 |
As of now, you have no pre-existing conditions. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1765 |
Are you firing me as your doctor? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1766 |
I am sorry! Our paper document system is on the fritz today. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1767 |
No, no... the REALLY bad news is quietly slipped under the door while you're tying your shoes. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1768 |
Gosh, they really are getting serious about the electronic health record implementation. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1769 |
Well, the good news is I can no longer give you the bad news. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1770 |
It's the worst case of acid indigestion that we've ever seen! |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1771 |
Highly contagious! Why do you ask? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1772 |
There are a few minor side effects.. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1773 |
Mr. Phelps, the test results show that you will self-destruct in 15 seconds. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1774 |
We don't anticipate any problems unless you want to get better. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1775 |
Your test results definitely show some inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1776 |
Now, about your hemorrhoids... |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1777 |
If I tell you I will have to kill you. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1778 |
Yes it's the new privacy protocol |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1779 |
Ordinarily this wouldn't look promising... |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1780 |
Looks like your lab test came back with its pants on fire. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1781 |
Not only are you transgender, but in menopause. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1782 |
I see you have a history of smoking. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1783 |
We're HIPPA compliant, but not OSHA. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1784 |
This is your lungs. This is smoking. This is your lungs when you smoke. Any questions? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1785 |
This is the new HIPAA firewall. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1786 |
No, these results suggest that the six-months-to-live thing is the least of your worries. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1787 |
Good news. No water retention. Come back For another visit if you want us to run some more tests. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1788 |
The Infertility Lab is returning your sperm sample, and they strongly recommend, you should never reproduce. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1789 |
Well your urine sample explains that burning sensation! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1790 |
As you can see, it's quite inflamed. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1791 |
What did you say about burning calories? |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1792 |
I think I found the cause of that burning sensation you described. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1793 |
I didn't want to catch what you've got. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1794 |
The report says 'in flames' but I think should read 'inflamed.' |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1795 |
Ooops! Obamacare was just repealed. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1796 |
My test shows you have the worst case of heartburn I've ever seen |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1797 |
Your tests are back. Apparently you have heartburn. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1798 |
That orgy must have been fantastic! |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1799 |
Was she hot? |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1800 |
Wow, the nurse wasn't kidding about that fever. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1801 |
I see your records show a history of inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1802 |
It says your fever is running a little hot. |
1.1786 |
0.10356 |
28 |
25 |
1 |
2 |
1803 |
Your urine test was really, really positive. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1804 |
It seems both your tests and the state of healthcare show signs of inflammation. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1805 |
You may feel a burning sensation. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1806 |
I really do appreciate all this internet research you did about your condition." |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1807 |
I'm afraid we have a burning issue. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1808 |
This is the worst case of inflammation I've ever seen. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1809 |
And how long have you been experiencing this burning sensation? |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1810 |
The test results of your afterlife screening may be cause for concern. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1811 |
Don't ask don't tell |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1812 |
I'm afraid you have a scorching case of herpes. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1813 |
Well, this explains that burning, itching sensation you described. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1814 |
Yes, your file clearly references that symptom. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1815 |
We've just started a burn unit here. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1816 |
Your heartburn has gotten worse. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1817 |
Don't look sad, the radiologist said you were hot! |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1818 |
It appears to be an out-of-pocket expense. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1819 |
Bottom line....I'd probably cancel that golf outing. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1820 |
Trust me, you don't wanna know. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1821 |
This is actually a good sign. For me. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1822 |
This is courtesy of Trump's new HIPPA regulations. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1823 |
I apologize, the "You're Fired" provision of Trumpcare just took effect. |
1.1786 |
0.07371 |
28 |
23 |
5 |
0 |
1824 |
Unfortunately, your coverage has almost been extinguished. |
1.1786 |
0.08988 |
28 |
24 |
3 |
1 |
1825 |
I tried to get her sooner but Trump-care was just approved by Congress. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1826 |
I think your jalapeño readings are a little high. |
1.1724 |
0.10011 |
29 |
26 |
1 |
2 |
1827 |
This chart shows the severity of your hemorrhoids. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1828 |
Sorry about this - shedder's still on the blink |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1829 |
Well, your HMO plan under the Affordable Care Act is spontaneously combusting, so my diagnosis is that Paul Ryan finally wrangled his House majority. |
1.1724 |
0.10011 |
29 |
26 |
1 |
2 |
1830 |
As we suspected, your hemorrhoids will need surgical intervention. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1831 |
Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover preexisting conflagrations, Mr. Hotchkiss. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1832 |
You've got to lighten up on the Thai food! |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1833 |
New HIPAA laws. Even I'm not allowed to see your test results. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1834 |
That's exactly how it feels! |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1835 |
Sorry, new HIPAA regulation. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1836 |
You say you go through 100 Viagra pills a week? |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1837 |
I'm not only a doctor, I'm also a writer. I'd like your opinion on this. It's called "Does It Hurt When I Do This." |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1838 |
I'm not an arsonist, but I play one on TV. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1839 |
Just a little heartburn. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1840 |
The tests confirm that you have heartburn. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1841 |
Your chart shows inflammation. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1842 |
It's so contagious, even the report must be sterilized. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1843 |
Your hip replacement paid off my mortgage |
1.1724 |
0.10011 |
29 |
26 |
1 |
2 |
1844 |
I'm not sure if your insurance will cover this |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1845 |
I warned you if I caught you cheating on your diet, I would burn your chart. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1846 |
We Have a new software to safeguard patient records from hackers. |
1.1724 |
0.10011 |
29 |
26 |
1 |
2 |
1847 |
About that drug combination you're on |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1848 |
The test results suggest inflammatory bowel syndrome. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1849 |
You're post terminal prognosis is even worse. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1850 |
I'm glad they didn't repeal Satancare. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1851 |
" Here is our Patient Privacy Policy". |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1852 |
Worst case of heartburn I've ever seen. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1853 |
You won't have time to call home. Shall we pray? |
1.1724 |
0.10011 |
29 |
26 |
1 |
2 |
1854 |
Didn't you listen to the part at the end of the commercial? |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1855 |
It's our new HIPPA privacy regulations. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1856 |
It burns me to tell you that your test results are not looking good. |
1.1724 |
0.10011 |
29 |
26 |
1 |
2 |
1857 |
This never happens, I swear. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1858 |
I saw this trick on Dr. Oz. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1859 |
What really worries me is that your health insurance plan doesn't cover fire. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1860 |
I think we double the dose of the anti-inflammatory. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1861 |
Mr. Nason, I think you need something stronger than the purple pill. |
1.1724 |
0.10011 |
29 |
26 |
1 |
2 |
1862 |
Trust me, I'm a witch doctor. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1863 |
We'll go over these results in detail, but for now I'm just going to summarize. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1864 |
This is just a temporary diagnosis. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1865 |
I doubt this is covered by your insurance! |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1866 |
Based on the results of your colonoscopy you might want to cool it on the Mexican food for a bit. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1867 |
We're going to get rid of that canker sore the old-fashioned way! |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1868 |
Yea. lay off the spicy food for a bit. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1869 |
Nothing to be embarrassed about, Mr. Torch. Just a little super power incontinence. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1870 |
Lowering your cholesterol may be an impossible mission, Mr. Phelps. |
1.1724 |
0.10011 |
29 |
26 |
1 |
2 |
1871 |
Your lab results have literally burned up the charts. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1872 |
It's just the latest protocol from our HIPAA compliance office. |
1.1724 |
0.07139 |
29 |
24 |
5 |
0 |
1873 |
I think we may have gotten to the bottom of that burning sensation... |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1874 |
Mr. Jones, your 3:00 A.M. habit of 4 alarm Chili needs some revision. |
1.1724 |
0.08694 |
29 |
25 |
3 |
1 |
1875 |
New lungs test. See if you can blow it out in under 3 seconds. Go! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1876 |
Well this is a first |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1877 |
I'd like to refer you to the fire department. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1878 |
What the devil have you been up to? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1879 |
Your Obamacare reimbursement will be a little lighter: Zippo. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1880 |
I've also got a burning sensation! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1881 |
I believe we have a clear indication as to whether your test result exceeds the reference range! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1882 |
I'm burning the evidence so the germs don't know we are onto them. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1883 |
I can tell you've been smoking. Where there's smoke there is fire. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1884 |
Good luck, Mr. Phelps. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1885 |
It's the worst case of heartburn I've ever seen |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1886 |
Sir, i'm starting to believe you lied about the drug test. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1887 |
Something tells me heartburn. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1888 |
It's pretty clear your hemorrhoids have flared up - I think we can skip the exam. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1889 |
In my clinical opinion, you are just too hot to handle |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1890 |
It's some kind of inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1891 |
In accordance with HIPAA .... |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1892 |
You know, it usually isn't this hard to explain what a fever is. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1893 |
Bad news. The inflammation is getting quickly worse. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1894 |
You're going to look right at me and say you can't have pyrokinesis? Wait - no - don't look at me! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1895 |
It says here you have a fever to 451 Farenheit |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1896 |
Last chance to put your account online. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1897 |
Patient privacy is a priority here. Record keeping, not so much. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1898 |
You should probably get a second opinion |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1899 |
I think this calls for more than two aspirins. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1900 |
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1901 |
I'm sorry to tell you, Mr. Smith, that spontaneous combustion is not covered by your insurance plan. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1902 |
You can't afford the prescriptions anyway. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1903 |
My Rx is "apply heat" |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1904 |
Sorry, but the new shredder is still on back-order |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1905 |
Here are your lab results. Would you mind leaving by the back door? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1906 |
You have no health insurance? Funny how some patient charts have no fire insurance. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1907 |
Just as I told you. Way too much alcohol in your system. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1908 |
Clark, we really must work on controlling your heat vision. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1909 |
Your insurance company hell no. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1910 |
I decided you could burn some calories. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1911 |
From the looks of things, you must be very uncomfortable! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1912 |
Does it happen only with the bills you should pay? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1913 |
When I give you these results, you WILL feel a burning sensation. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1914 |
Let's just pretend the biopsy was negative! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1915 |
Take these as ordered. You might experience a little burning sensation. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1916 |
Let's just say we won't be needing this anymore. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1917 |
Some inflammation is normal. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1918 |
Now watch when we take into account your "good" cholesterol. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1919 |
Good luck with your upcoming operation Mr. Phelps. Your test results have self-destructed. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1920 |
Obamacare is gone. Lab results are self-destructing. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
1921 |
When you accepted your healthcare plan, Jim, it self-destructed in five seconds. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1922 |
Heartburn doesn't even begin to describe your diagnosis. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1923 |
I've not seen these kind of hot flashes before. Let's hope the anti-inflammatories do the trick. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1924 |
Let's just say, your temperature is quite high. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1925 |
I see you’re experiencing some inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1926 |
Your heart-burn seams to be spreading. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1927 |
This is your healthcare plan on Trump. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1928 |
And when did you realize you HAD his special talent? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1929 |
I recommend the Inflammation Diet. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1930 |
What can I say, man, you are on FIRE!!! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1931 |
I'm just making a few recommended edits to the Patients Bill of Rights under the terms of the new Republican-sponsored health care plan. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1932 |
According to the CAT scan, that burning sensation in your stomach is an actual fire. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1933 |
Your chart indicates you have a fever. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1934 |
Your diagnosis, Mr. Phelps. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1935 |
Sorry, your heartburn is terminal |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1936 |
I hope this isn't catching. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1937 |
I'll be honest, it's not good news. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1938 |
What preexisting conditions? |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1939 |
I have your test results. You're flaming. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1940 |
It’s inflamed. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1941 |
Hipaa has really cracked down these days. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1942 |
For your sake, I really hope you're not allergic to penicillin. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1943 |
From now on, you can use any bathroom you want. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1944 |
Ever since we switched from paper to EMR, this keeps happening to our files. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1945 |
I knew I should've read the manual for the 3D printer! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1946 |
Let's try that again...stick your tongue out and say aaah!!! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1947 |
It's the inflammation that concerns me. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1948 |
Hemmorhoids. You've got hemmorhoids |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1949 |
Sorry, our file clerk used to work at Samsung. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
1950 |
Don't worry, it's standard practice after your first law suit. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1951 |
I think you should avoid eating all hot and spicy foods. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1952 |
Mr. Angel, I'm sorry to report that things are presenting in a downward spiral. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1953 |
Mr Hughes, unfortunately your belief in creationism angers our god of science. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
1954 |
This is more than another flare-up. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1955 |
Looks like it's a hot attack. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
1956 |
Our practice is going paperless. In fact we don't keep track of anything. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1957 |
Breath mint? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1958 |
Don't worry, under the new health care plan it's like this visit never happened." |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1959 |
I'm afraid you're suffering from some sever inflammation.... |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1960 |
Your prexisting condition is protected. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1961 |
The results confirm 'male menopause'--you had a hot attack! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1962 |
Heartburn! Yes, my diagnoses have been on fire recently. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1963 |
New patient privacy rules allow me to only read this to you once. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1964 |
Well, I think we can rule out pneumonia. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1965 |
You test positive for spontaneous combustion. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1966 |
See? Another reason to quit smoking. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1967 |
I'm afraid I have some bad news... |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1968 |
We take HIPAA seriously. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1969 |
Apparently global warming is contagious and you've caught it. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1970 |
The lab report indicates that your acid reflux problems are excessively out of control. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1971 |
Sorry, your health care insurance just went up in flames. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1972 |
Sorry, you have too many red flags. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1973 |
So, quickly, tell me your chief complaint..... |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1974 |
Oy Vey! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1975 |
Don't worry. It's not contagious. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1976 |
I got your test results hot off the presses. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1977 |
Nice trick, Clark, but that doesn't change your cholesterol level. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1978 |
Burn after reading |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1979 |
Your test results show you have hemorrhoids. Yes, definitely inflamed hemorrhoids. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1980 |
I have a license to grill. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1981 |
I don't want to blame it all on Obamacare, but, you know. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1982 |
Sorry, new privacy rules. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1983 |
It looks like nothing more than a bad case of chart burn. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1984 |
This explains your heartburn |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1985 |
Now no one will ever know about your ED, Mr. President. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1986 |
About that burning sensation you're experiencing. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1987 |
Yes, you're a dragon Walter. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1988 |
According to the report, your inflammation is spreading |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1989 |
Temperature a bit high. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1990 |
It's part of our push to ensure HIPAA compliance. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1991 |
I have only one burning question. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1992 |
Yep. Heartburn. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1993 |
A study showed it encourages greater patient change. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1994 |
We're going paperless. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1995 |
This new privacy protocol is a nuisance. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1996 |
The inflammation has gotten a lot worse! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
1997 |
It's just smoke and mirrors |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
1998 |
Well, your lab results are back. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
1999 |
You can't make your co pay go away by magic . |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2000 |
Perhaps me setting fire to this file will distract from how bad I am at nose jobs. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2001 |
The results indicate that your burning sensation may be contagious. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2002 |
The long-lasting pain relief of Xanaflex compels you! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2003 |
GERD indeed |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2004 |
OK now, watch what happens when the flames reach my fingers. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2005 |
This must be the repeal phase. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2006 |
Good morning, Mr. Phelps. Your therapy, should you choose to accept it... |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2007 |
I can assure you it's quite common among men with tiny hands. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2008 |
Nihilistic Medicine |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2009 |
This is your burning question? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2010 |
It's nothing personal, I tell all my patients to stop smoking. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2011 |
You're running a bit of a fever. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2012 |
It's as close as I can get to a diagnosis |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2013 |
I have some concerns about your test results |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2014 |
I think we can rule out pyrophobia. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2015 |
I'm getting concerned about these flare-ups of yours. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2016 |
I see you have been having some inflammatory problems. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2017 |
I'll need to retake your temperature. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2018 |
You may feel a burning sensation when you pay. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2019 |
No need to be so graphic in the questions about your sex life. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2020 |
You shouldn't have said 'to hell with Obamacare'. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2021 |
Sorry, our copier's a Samsung. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2022 |
It's the new HIPAA version of SnapChat |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2023 |
Well, I can't say for sure what it is, but it's enflamed. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2024 |
Definitely looks like heartburn. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2025 |
This may burn a bit! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2026 |
Make sure you take this with water |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2027 |
Did you experience a burning sensation? |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2028 |
Your ulcers are really inflamed! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2029 |
Sir, you know burning this won't change the results. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2030 |
You're lucky you came to Mt. Sinai. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2031 |
Your records keep self destructing....have you been exposed to any politicians lately? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2032 |
Yes, I'm afraid it is what your thinking. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2033 |
These results sound like your wife. You are going to burn in Hell! |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2034 |
I see you have a history of inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2035 |
Your inflammation is worse than I thought. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2036 |
Well, its just a slight bit of inflammation, you see. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2037 |
I better make this quick. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2038 |
You should only come in if it feels like this. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2039 |
Exactly when did these hot flashes begin? |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2040 |
I see no evidence of medical malpractice in my management of your care. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2041 |
Oh, I forgot about the new pop-up lab results we are field testing, and no, that is not good. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2042 |
I'd like to get a second opinion. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2043 |
We have a new prostate procedure... Just kidding! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2044 |
Well, first, we have to do something about your fever |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2045 |
I have a written apology regarding our misdiag- Oh, what now?! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2046 |
There is nothing wrong with your sperm count. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2047 |
Your condition seems to have gone all to hell. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2048 |
Yes, usually the cure IS worse than the illness. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2049 |
Looks like we both have some unexplained inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2050 |
The results of your tests are way too hot for me to handle. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2051 |
We're taking Fajita Fridays to the next level. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2052 |
I found the cause of your burning sensation |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2053 |
The new HIPAA regulations are very tough. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2054 |
Heartburn is not supposed to be contagious |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2055 |
I'm less than thrilled with our new electronic health record system |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2056 |
My only guess is you shouldn't have mentioned single payer universal healthcare insurance. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2057 |
Bad news, it's inflamed. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2058 |
Obviously, you need to fight inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2059 |
You were right...its an itching and burning sensation |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2060 |
Our shredder is broken... |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2061 |
And finally, your copay |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2062 |
It appears that you have an inflammation of some sort. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2063 |
Can you describe the burning sensation I'm feeling? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2064 |
According to this, you suffer from severe conflagration. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2065 |
I've got your test results back, Mr. Hunt. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2066 |
Just complying with the latest HIPAA regulations. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2067 |
Good news ... we've decided not to worry you. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2068 |
So do you feel the burning sensation now? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2069 |
I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson, but you have reached your insurance cap. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2070 |
Tests confirm your report of a burning sensation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2071 |
You're going to have to cut back on the Mexican food. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2072 |
Just as I thought: you have paperburn. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2073 |
You have Chartburn. Much worse than heartburn. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2074 |
Would you describe it as a burning sensation? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2075 |
"You have a serious case of flameatosis and it appears to be spreading rapidly". |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2076 |
Let's just say the diagnosis was specious and the patient showed no trauma as it was brought to light. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2077 |
I am sorry I have to leave now, but fortunately our burn unit is open until 7. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2078 |
This is for not paying the deductible. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2079 |
Bad news -- under Trumpcare your health plan is kaput, but the good news is your cholesterol numbers are on fire! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2080 |
You want a second opinion. Take the ash to a seer. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2081 |
Good news Mr. Phillips. We got the fire out of your belly. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2082 |
The Burning Bush says you have locusts. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2083 |
I hardly know where to begin. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2084 |
Your prescription, should you choose to accept it. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2085 |
Your metabolism is not the problem, it's your diet. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2086 |
Blow. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2087 |
The TrumpCare plan prohibits patients from seeing test results which may terrify them into seeking additional medical care. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2088 |
Your tests reveal that you have been eating too many New Mexican chili peppers. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2089 |
The question is, are they going to name this after your or after me? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2090 |
You have...(Burn baby burn) Disco Inferno! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2091 |
You've heard of a 'clean bill of health,' well, it's the opposite of that. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2092 |
I have your test results. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2093 |
The good news is that your kidney function is limiting the flames. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2094 |
Like I said, it was only heartburn. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2095 |
Nothing serious, just slight inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2096 |
Your results are under heated debate. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2097 |
So mich for your bill! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2098 |
When your doctor pulls out your medical records. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2099 |
See? No one will see your medical history here. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2100 |
No doubt about it, I'm afraid, Mr. DePuy. It's inflammatory bowel disease. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2101 |
I'd like to revisit your response about "frequent" exercise. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2102 |
This way your hazard insurance should cover the visit. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2103 |
Not to worry. It's only a temporary condition. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2104 |
We're still trying to figure out SpicerCare. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2105 |
Diagnosis: inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2106 |
I told you it's a diagnosis from hell. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2107 |
This diagnosis will self-destruct in 5 seconds. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2108 |
Mr. Wood, you seem to have a full blown case of as burning love. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2109 |
We might need to adjust your anti-inflammatory prescription. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2110 |
There is a bright side to all this, but it's even hotter. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2111 |
I’m sorry, but your health plan doesn’t cover lab reports. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2112 |
Is your Hippa burnin'? |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2113 |
Does it burn when you hold this? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2114 |
I'm afraid your results aren't so hot |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2115 |
It's highly unusual for males to have hot flashes. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2116 |
You have Trumpitis. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2117 |
On the good side, it's a very rare condition. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2118 |
The good news is that I don't have much time. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2119 |
Not to worry, it's just a HIPPA requirement. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2120 |
I'm sorry sir, but you appear to have a serious case of inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2121 |
Have you traveled to Mar-a-Lago recently? |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2122 |
Your labs look great, but there appears to be some residual inflammation |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2123 |
Well, the good news is ... it's just a minor flare-up. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2124 |
I'll take that urine sample immediately, if you don't mind. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2125 |
THIS is what happens if you cant afford the co-pay! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2126 |
Uh, your lab report confirms that it's a flaming case... |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2127 |
What privacy issues? |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2128 |
When you got fired, so did your health plan! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2129 |
Wow -- never seen someone's health insurance literally go up in flames! |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2130 |
Well, Pete, you are literally burning up. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2131 |
Hmm, you do have a fever after all. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2132 |
I'm afraid you have some inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2133 |
Your health insurance has set the |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2134 |
The burning sensation is not normal. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2135 |
I'm afraid your insurance coverage has spontaneously combusted. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2136 |
Your lab results give a whole new meaning to "does it tinkle when you pee" |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2137 |
Thanks Doc, now what's the bad news? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2138 |
Your fecal occult blood test is concerning. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2139 |
Well, I did tell you there was a chance this would flare up again. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2140 |
I see that you checked 'fever' on your intake form. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2141 |
"Don't look so down. These test results should fire you up. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2142 |
Well, at the very least, you've also burnt some calories. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2143 |
This is your prognosis. Are you a religious man? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2144 |
Sorry, wrong prescription. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2145 |
You never can be too safe |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2146 |
Ok, Bruce, if you don't stop eating that chipotle sauce, this is what your g.i. tract will feel like. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2147 |
You need to cut down on the spicy food. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2148 |
Hello, Bill, about your bill. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2149 |
Obamacare Light |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2150 |
Drink this -- it will settle your stomach. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2151 |
Cursed magic! I said 'I'll send you to home' not 'incendio tome'. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2152 |
A 'burning sensation,' you say? |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2153 |
Your blood test results indicate inflammation may be an issue. |
1.1600 |
0.11075 |
25 |
23 |
0 |
2 |
2154 |
It's a new HIPAA requirement. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2155 |
We put confidentiality ahead of sound medicine. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2156 |
So under the Republican plan we just burn everything down. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2157 |
We guarantee confidentiality. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2158 |
Yes, it is contagious. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2159 |
This usually will clear large noses. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2160 |
After consulting with my colleagues, we all agree that your prognosis is highly volatile. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2161 |
So tell me more about this burning sensation you've been having. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2162 |
About that heartburn you've been ignoring..... |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2163 |
I wouldn't read too into this. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2164 |
Don't be alarmed. This is Trump's HIPAA. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2165 |
It's just a bit of inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2166 |
No need to worry, it's just a little inflamed. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2167 |
We take HIPAA very seriously here. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2168 |
Are you a smoker? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2169 |
your treatment plan will self-destruct in 30 seconds. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2170 |
Looks like you're running a fever. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2171 |
It's part of our stop smoking campaign. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2172 |
I'm a little concerned about your chart. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2173 |
I'm going to have to ask you to cut back on the habaneros. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2174 |
Let's wait and see what happens. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2175 |
The results suggest you are dehydrated. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2176 |
Talk about inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2177 |
Sorry but until the new health plan is established, I think we should destroy the findings. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2178 |
And, do you feel a burning sensation? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2179 |
Disco Fever is still a thing? |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2180 |
Your condition shows a serious inflammation. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2181 |
Brace yourself...It's hemorrhoids. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2182 |
I said I wasn't infallible, not inflammable. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2183 |
I see you've made a pact with medical insurance. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2184 |
Man! Do you have hemoroids! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2185 |
It means your health is in flames. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2186 |
Cut down on the burritos. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2187 |
Oops, I must need a breath mint |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2188 |
Have you ever smoked? |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2189 |
Hmmm, unfortunately, the diagnosis is stage IV liar, liar, pants on fire. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2190 |
Your diagnosis will self-destruct in 10 seconds. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2191 |
Oh, we are experimenting with mindful consultation. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2192 |
You're hot-blooded, check it and see. You've got a fever of one-hundred and three! |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2193 |
Some people view our new protocols as incendiary. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2194 |
It says that your temperature is a bit high. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2195 |
What do you say we pretend your bloodwork never happened? |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2196 |
The test confirms it. You suffer from incurable burning desire. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2197 |
Please don't open your mouth again until we can diagnose your condition. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2198 |
You might feel a slight burning sensation |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2199 |
More carotene, less kerosene. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2200 |
I guess this was the untruth diagnosis. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2201 |
Inflammation, off the charts! |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2202 |
Your lab findings suggest that you may have a touch of Spontaneous Combustion Syndrome. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2203 |
Look, what's done is done... and besides, you have no insurance. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2204 |
There's something odd about this urine sample, Mr Jones. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2205 |
I revolutionize patient care by combining state-of-the-art western medicine and ancient Chinese gunpowder |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2206 |
Unfortunately, the test shows you're positive for a very bad case of spontaneous combustion |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2207 |
The cause of the inflammation is too many General Tsao's spicey chicken dinners. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2208 |
Let's just say the prognosis isn't good. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2209 |
Looks like it's more contagious than we thought. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2210 |
And I'd cut back on the spicy food. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2211 |
looks like your temperature is slightly elevated |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2212 |
Yes, your temperature is high... |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2213 |
Your x-ray was a shade overexposed. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2214 |
Got your hemorrhoid test back. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2215 |
Sorry, I've got a slight fever. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2216 |
The good news is you don't have cancer. The bad news is this Ketamine is kicking in much sooner than I had anticipated. |
1.1600 |
0.09452 |
25 |
22 |
2 |
1 |
2217 |
The new Prince of Darkness Healthcare Plan doesn't cover illness caused by life. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2218 |
Feel free to get a second opinion. |
1.1600 |
0.07483 |
25 |
21 |
4 |
0 |
2219 |
You have a bad case of shingles...even your diagnosis is burning. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2220 |
It says here you have a temperature of fahrenheit 451. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2221 |
I'm sorry, this darn Samsung Galaxy Patient Chart is acting up again. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2222 |
My witch doctor colleague recommends this cure. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2223 |
Your results are in. Worst case of heartburn, ever! |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2224 |
I am pretty sure spontaneous combustion isn't covered by your insurance |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2225 |
Under the circumstances, we'd like you to pay first. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2226 |
Or would you prefer the good news first? |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2227 |
Yes, I would say you're contagious |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2228 |
You think I need your chart to diagnose chlamydia? |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2229 |
Before I read this, please remember this is only one doctor's opinion. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2230 |
But you don't have any symptoms? |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2231 |
Yes, it's fatal, and I think Satan wants you |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2232 |
They won't give up on Obamacare. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2233 |
Yep, it's hemmerhoids. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2234 |
We take HIPAA very seriously. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2235 |
Yes, I'd say the inflamation has definitely spread. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2236 |
I've found many patients won't begin eating healthier until there's a fire under their butt. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2237 |
I recommend you lay off the chili peppers. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2238 |
How'd you know it was heartburn? |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2239 |
Your answer 'two drinks per week' is a lie. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2240 |
Hmmm.... I'm not sure you want to see the results. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2241 |
Apparently, Mr. Hunt, your health report will self-destruct in five seconds. |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2242 |
I'm sorry -- I'll give you these results in 2 secs -- what did you say about not making a co-payment? |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2243 |
We don't have a lot of time left, so... |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2244 |
HIPPA rules prevent me from sharing your test results with you. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2245 |
It's one of the downsides of Trumpcare. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2246 |
Your condition is most inflammatory. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2247 |
Your heartburn's back, Jim, at least it looks that way on paper. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2248 |
Your policy doesn't cover it anyway. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2249 |
I'm sorry but I am prohibited from telling you the truth about your diagnosis due to potential liability concerns. Consider this a metaphor for the "C" word. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2250 |
We'd better call Jake, from State Farm. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2251 |
The devil's in the detail |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2252 |
Any questions, Mr.Phelps? |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2253 |
Test results on your heartburn. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2254 |
Frankly, your test results were not exactly what we were hoping for. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2255 |
I'm sorry.The office is going paperless. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2256 |
The preauthorization went about as well as expected. |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2257 |
I see no cause for concern, it's just a little inflammation. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2258 |
My apologies, my assistant has a strange sense of humor. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2259 |
Two to one odds your chart outlasts you. |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2260 |
You worked for the Clintons? |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2261 |
Take two aspirin and call the fire department |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2262 |
I don't think changing providers is an option |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2263 |
I'm afraid you've got some pretty bad heartburn. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2264 |
Don't worry about your health insurance, you no more have precondition |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2265 |
Take this but don't call me unless it works. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2266 |
Your oxygen is great, but you do have a temperature. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2267 |
Many patients experience a burning sensation when reviewing the American Health Care Act. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2268 |
Just a guess, but I'd say your fever is about 451° |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2269 |
There's bad news and worse news. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2270 |
I am complying with your wish to not share your medical records. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2271 |
It's a new mandate to safeguard health information. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2272 |
Oh, for Pete's sake! |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2273 |
It's a form of inflammation. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2274 |
The test results suggest your tonsils are inflamed. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2275 |
I'm afraid your test results are highly inflammitory. . . |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2276 |
I'll just go ahead and add pyrokinesis to the list of side effects. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2277 |
It says you have burning indigestion. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2278 |
It's a prescription for the purple pill. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2279 |
It appears your symptoms are flaring up again. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2280 |
Our patient privacy policy has been tightened . |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2281 |
Sorry, your health care coverage just went up in smoke! |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2282 |
Try water, it's over the counter. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2283 |
Your book's appendix was inflamed so I had to remove it. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2284 |
You know that I would be a liar, if was to say to you, your bills just couldn't get much higher, so then Doc I'll light my fire. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2285 |
In view of the fact that you have no money, we'll just burn your XRAYS and pretend you are ok. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2286 |
It appears that your diet is adding fuel to the fire. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2287 |
Looks like you have a slight fever. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2288 |
I'm going to recommend cold medicine |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2289 |
No heart attack. But your heartburn's on fire! |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2290 |
Stop, drop, roll and drink plenty of fluids. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2291 |
Not to worry, what you don't know can't kill you. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2292 |
It seems that your inflammatory symptoms are contagious, sir. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2293 |
Looks like you have some inflammation. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2294 |
Your gastrointestinal inflammation has apparently taken a turn to inflammatory. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2295 |
Sorry I had diablo sauce for lunch. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2296 |
You should cut down on the Thai food. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2297 |
I'd classify this as a third-degree bill. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2298 |
Well your drug test came back and ... I think it's safe to say you most definitely were lit. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2299 |
This diagnosis will self-destruct in five seconds. |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2300 |
HIPAA compliance! |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2301 |
The results of your arson-ectomy aren't encouraging. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2302 |
According to your test results the devil is the cause of your diverticulitis. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2303 |
Looks like inflammation to me. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2304 |
We've found out what's causing that burning sensation. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2305 |
Tests results came back. You have hot flashes. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2306 |
Looks like your insurance won't authorize that test. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2307 |
Finally, I wave my hands and count to three. You have mono. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2308 |
I suppose it wouldn't technically be a lie if I told your wife the results were "inconclusive"... |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2309 |
Well Mr. Wheeler, your test results came back, and I'm afraid I've got some bad news. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2310 |
Mr. Kent burning the bill with your x-ray vision doesn't make it go away |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2311 |
Would you by any chance mind redoing your colonoscopy? |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2312 |
How long have you been smoking? |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2313 |
Congress changed your coverage rules again. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2314 |
Your insurer denied coverage in no uncertain terms. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2315 |
Is there anything else you'd like to tell me? |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2316 |
Obamacare was just abolished. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2317 |
See, your daughter's nose, chin, and lipo jobs, alone, burned my mortgage. I feel guilty charging you for this. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2318 |
To get your medical records, you will have to sign this release-of-information form. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2319 |
Your heartburn seems to be getting worse. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2320 |
Please tell me that is the bill. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2321 |
Your cholesterol is fine...but it appears your combustibles are very high |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2322 |
Your prognosis doesn't look good. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2323 |
Well, I can see how this pyrokinesis can be a problem for you, sir. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2324 |
You'll get results in six to eight weeks but there are some early warning signs. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2325 |
The good news is I now have no bad news to give you. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2326 |
The report says it's a severe case of heartburn. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2327 |
You still want to maintain my pyrokinesis is psychosomatic? |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2328 |
You mentioned you had sex with an old flame. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2329 |
Stanley, we've got back the results of the results of your hemorrhoid biopsy. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2330 |
After we lost internet privacy, this is the new firewall for medical records. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2331 |
Yes, I am familiar with the research but you really need to rethink the size of your capsaicin patch. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2332 |
Looks like too much hot sauce on your Pad Thai. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2333 |
Your chart is alarming |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2334 |
HIPAA doesn't allow me to keep paper records. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2335 |
You definitely need to take this with a full glass of water. |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2336 |
Sorry, these new patient confidentiality rules still need some tweaking. |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2337 |
This may singe. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2338 |
I want you to ease off on the high metabolism diet. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2339 |
Can't wait to see "replace"! |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2340 |
The nurse said your temperature seemed a little high. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2341 |
I recommended a stronger anti-inflammatory. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2342 |
This is a bad omen, Jerry; do you have an advance directive? |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2343 |
You are healthy again, I am burning your medical records! |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2344 |
I'm guessing that "replace" won't be nearly as dramatic as "repeal." |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2345 |
We really need to bring your fever down. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2346 |
Please urgently help me put out this fire. I am going to get into trouble if the fire alarm goes off. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2347 |
I think we need to cut back on your fiber. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2348 |
My staff really, really wants me to go paperless. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2349 |
Possible side effects include a burning sensation. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2350 |
We found what's been causing your heartburn. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2351 |
The smoke on your previous tests were,obviously, quite accurate. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2352 |
It's part of managements new efficiency drive to see more patients. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2353 |
Hell of a chart you've got here. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2354 |
We have noted a slight inflamation. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2355 |
Good thing you're sitting down, Mr. Morningstar. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2356 |
Does this LOOK like a benign diagnosis? |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2357 |
I like to think of myself as the Jimi Hendrix of medicine. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2358 |
You're covered under the Affordable Char Act |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2359 |
As your doctor I recommend against carrying an old flame. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2360 |
You may not be burning in hell, but your lab results are. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2361 |
You have to cut out the Carolina Reapers. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2362 |
We're doing a trial run of the Libertarian replacement plan for the ACA. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2363 |
Maybe radiation from the sun? |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2364 |
Are you experiencing a burning sensation? |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2365 |
Your records appear to indicate some inflammation. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2366 |
I see your coverage has spontaneously cumbusted, but my assistant will be happy to work out a payment plan for you. |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2367 |
It seems your test results are classified. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2368 |
I have your results, but under Trumpcare I'm required to burn them. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2369 |
Looks like possession to me. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2370 |
I'm sorry. The test is definite for "emission impossible". |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2371 |
This pharm is on fire! |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2372 |
You may have contracted this in 2016 |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2373 |
These new HIPAA privacy regulations are getting out of control. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2374 |
Your lab tests show a high level of inflammation. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2375 |
Nice try Mr. We are still able to bill you. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2376 |
Consumption. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2377 |
We take confidentiality very seriously |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2378 |
The Flammable Care Act. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2379 |
i'm afraid it's not just heartburn. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2380 |
Are you sure that nothing has changed in your diet? |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2381 |
I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. This contract was signed in your blood. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2382 |
Wow! Nobody knew how complex health care is! Wow - Nobody knew how complex health care is! |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2383 |
It appears your insurance company has decided not to pre certify your knee surgery |
1.1538 |
0.10659 |
26 |
24 |
0 |
2 |
2384 |
Sure, it's not all good news . . . |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2385 |
Soooooo...apparently that conference after party you attended was lit. |
1.1538 |
0.07216 |
26 |
22 |
4 |
0 |
2386 |
Well...Somethings inflamed that's for sure. |
1.1538 |
0.09102 |
26 |
23 |
2 |
1 |
2387 |
I'm sorry, but your insurance doesn't cover heat vision. |
1.1481 |
0.08777 |
27 |
24 |
2 |
1 |
2388 |
Okay. but getting rid of today's test results won't change the fact that it is still a pre-existing condition. |
1.1481 |
0.08777 |
27 |
24 |
2 |
1 |
2389 |
It says you have Inflammatory Vowel Disease |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2390 |
It's true -- your eyes shoot deadly laser beams. On the upside, you have 20/20 vision. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2391 |
I ordered X-rays, not X-ray eyes. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2392 |
THE REPORT IS BOTH FLAMMABLE AND INFLAMMABLE. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2393 |
Spontaneous combustion. It's a new HIPPA protocol. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2394 |
As a control I had the lab test your blood for demonic possession. You'll be happy to know you don't have any STD's. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2395 |
Burning news on the results! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2396 |
You really need to cut out spicy foods! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2397 |
Please let me read you the results, and if time permits I'll take questions. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2398 |
We need to add more phosphate to your diet. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2399 |
It's not such bad news. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2400 |
You're running a fever. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2401 |
You're going to Hell |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2402 |
It's time we reconsider the standing desk. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2403 |
Yes, I suppose it is better than self-immolation. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2404 |
Sorry. Obamacare was just repealed. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2405 |
Your test results are in, Mr. Butterworth, and I'm afraid they're not good. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2406 |
I've got good news and bad news. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2407 |
When did you start eating Mexican food? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2408 |
I think the referral is being denied. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2409 |
Your angst is now considered a pre-existing condition!" "Nope, no coverage for anything less than death! |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2410 |
I burn your file, which means one less malpractice suit, and then your insurance rates go down. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2411 |
Your diagnosis is you got a hunk-a hunk-a burning love |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2412 |
So you think I'm a better pyrotechnician? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2413 |
I have your test results here in my hot little hands. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2414 |
Blow it out and make a wish—you won't be having a birthday this year. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2415 |
Test results definitely suggest hemmorhoids. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2416 |
I recommend you lay off spicy foods for six months and drink lots of water. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2417 |
?????????????? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2418 |
Now that you've seen your test results, privacy laws require me to destroy them. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2419 |
Bad day to give up drinking. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2420 |
Here's a prescription for Lucifrex. Side effects may include… |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2421 |
And this is only step 3 of their effort to force us to switch to online patient records. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2422 |
Your blood pressure is a little high. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2423 |
Its official your going to Hell. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2424 |
Well, Mr. Donahue, it looks like you have an advanced case of COE (cocktail-olive eyes). And it's contagious. Not sure what these flames or leaves or tentacles are emanating from your report, but that's neither here nor there. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2425 |
Your tests indicate a self destructive lifestyle. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2426 |
So, your results are less positive than we weee hoping for... |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2427 |
Trust me, the bill will be worse. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2428 |
Your temperature is high, Mr. Bradbury. Fahrenheit 451. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2429 |
Well, we got a clear result back. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2430 |
We forgot to pay the heating bill. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2431 |
Well, clearly it's severe heartburn! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2432 |
Now I understand why you have that burning feeling in your stomach! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2433 |
Heartburn |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2434 |
It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2435 |
You have a case of spontaneous combustion. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2436 |
Your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2437 |
Let me get this sraaight. You signed a contract with a guy with pointy ears and a pitchfork .? |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2438 |
This is fine. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2439 |
This is all that TrumpCare would allow. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2440 |
I see you've been busy since your last check-up. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2441 |
Your scoville levels are off the charts. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2442 |
HIPAA compliance is going to be hell when we switch to electronic records. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2443 |
Nothing to be embarrassed about, Mr. Torch. Just a little super power incontinence. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2444 |
Your HIV test came back positive, eveything's great again. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2445 |
A nasty computer virus has infected your test results, and you are not insured. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2446 |
...and this is your gut on pizza. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2447 |
Say "ooooohhhh" |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2448 |
The lab report is remarkable for inflammatory parameters. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2449 |
This is from your health care provider -- they're denying coverage. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2450 |
According to our records you're running a very high fever. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2451 |
Relax; it's just a letter from my wife's lawyer." |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2452 |
Your dietary plan is going up in smoke. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2453 |
A second opinion? No, I'm reasonably sure it's heartburn. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2454 |
First, I'll start with what the Internet told you was wrong. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2455 |
OK, but tell me what you really think. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2456 |
I'm afraid you have inflammatory vowel disease. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2457 |
Not a suitable diagnosis for the updated insurance coverage. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2458 |
And I thought your tendonitis was inflamed. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2459 |
I'm trying to develop a warmer bedside manner. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2460 |
Our handling of your data is robust against post-processing and adaptive composition. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2461 |
I'm sorry about your results, but this is President Trump's way of repealing the Affordable Care Act. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2462 |
Your esophageal pH monitor results are in... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2463 |
Ahh, I see you have a deal with the devil. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2464 |
According to the chart, your temperature is extremely high. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2465 |
Yes, we take medical record privacy quite seriously. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2466 |
The good news is we won't have to do an MRI. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2467 |
We got the results back on your mixtape. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2468 |
Let's go with a bland diet. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2469 |
Is this what your hemorrhoids feel like? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2470 |
I'm sorry mister Vey, it seems health insurance is allergic to you. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2471 |
My handwriting was too legible. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2472 |
Well, Mr. Carver, given those symptoms it might very well be contagious. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2473 |
WOW!! This is a really super-hot diagnosis!! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2474 |
This is how I make my handwriting even more illegible. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2475 |
Now we'll feed the fever. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2476 |
I'm sorry but your HMO has just notified me to extinguish your policy. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2477 |
I'm afraid your condition in no longer considered "smoldering". |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2478 |
Will you be needing to see me again? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2479 |
Your inflammation may be contagious. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2480 |
Well, we were warned that medical records were becoming an increasingly hot topic. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2481 |
I'm thinking maybe a new statin. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2482 |
Your lab results are somewhat alarming. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2483 |
The good news is that I know what's wrong with you. The bad news is that I no longer take your insurance. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2484 |
your insurance doesn't cover pulmonary testing equipment- see if you can blow this out |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2485 |
Well, your inflammation test results are a little alarming. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2486 |
I'm duty-bound to warn you that this bill may cause a burning sensation, heart palpitations, and dry mouth. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2487 |
Do you feel a burning sensation? Because I do. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2488 |
Hugh Hefner would be jealous. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2489 |
Samsung should really recall these clipboards. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2490 |
Your testosterone numbers are off the chart. NOTE: I SUBMITTED THIS EARLIER UNDER MY OWN NAME (DAVE EITEL) BY MISTAKE. THIS CAPTION IS BY MIKE HEALY (INFO BELOW) PLEASE DISREGARD MY ERRONEOUS ENTRY. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2491 |
Unfortunately it's more than just heartburn. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2492 |
This urine sample looks like a new STD. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2493 |
As you see, we preserve your privacy. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2494 |
I'm afraid your condition will require a stronger anti-inflammatory medication. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2495 |
This is your prescription should you choose to accept it. As always, if it causes your death we will deny any knowledge of your actions. This paper will self-destruct in - whoops, too late. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2496 |
Mr. Jones, you have the worst case of heartburn I have EVER seen! |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2497 |
Your test results indicate that you are at risk of spontaneous combustion. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2498 |
No, '-itis' means inflammation, not '-osis'. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2499 |
These results suggest it's a little worse than a cold. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2500 |
We take HIPPA seriously in our office. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2501 |
Then you say the fire incantation and you'll be fine! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2502 |
Well look at that, Mr. Ryan! Healthcare really is exploding. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2503 |
I'm sorry sir, your policy doesn't cover storage of your medical record and I wouldn't want it to get into the wrong hands. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2504 |
The polyps are the least of it. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2505 |
It's your blood pressure: 200/100. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2506 |
I may feel a burning sensation, but nothing to be concerned about. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2507 |
I'd like to see your inflammation numbers come down a bit, Mr. Henderson. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2508 |
Apparently, we don't take your insurance... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2509 |
I think you should cut back on the spicy food. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2510 |
Your health care has been repealed. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2511 |
Well Mr. Johnson, let's just say your heartburn results are off the charts! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2512 |
Well I'm feeling a burning sensation. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2513 |
Your lab results are fine. These are your insurance forms. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2514 |
Why, yes Mr. Hunt. Your lab results always self-destruct within five seconds. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2515 |
Your heartburn is obviously contagious. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2516 |
Oops! I guess I'll give you another six months. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2517 |
Good morning Mr. Phelps. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to restore Obamacare. This message will self-destruct in five seconds." |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2518 |
No worries, I have experience in stop, drop, and rolling paper |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2519 |
You don't want to see the results, believe me. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2520 |
This is necessary to claim Medicare benefits. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2521 |
Test results fresh out the oven. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2522 |
It burns when I pee. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2523 |
This way we'll both get a fresh start. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2524 |
Your test results indicate heartburn. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2525 |
Trump's HIPPA. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2526 |
You're hot-blooded...check it and see. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2527 |
It's the new low tech Note from Samsung. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2528 |
There's a bit of good news in these results, Mr. Smith. You won't be needing a follow-up appointment. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2529 |
Your records indicate you're a hot mess. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2530 |
It's your Obama Care . . . self-destructing . . . . |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2531 |
Your insurance coverage is a little toasty. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2532 |
Your previous doctor noted a burning sensation. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2533 |
Some hot issues in your new policy here. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2534 |
Okay, setting your lab results on fire won't make them go away, |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2535 |
Bad news or good news first? |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2536 |
I'm afraid you're evil. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2537 |
Your acid reflux is flaring up again. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2538 |
It's a prescription for Antacids. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2539 |
... and in accordance with medical privacy laws, these test results will self-destruct in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2540 |
I'd like to run some more tests on your mental telepathy. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2541 |
Tell me again for how long you've felt feverish. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2542 |
All signs point to heartburn. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2543 |
As a medical student, I can see that your chart is on fire...but I'm just not sure what that means. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2544 |
They say what you don't know can't kill you. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2545 |
Our records indicate you have Obamacare. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2546 |
Now I'll test your reflexes. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2547 |
Your charts indicate that you received a fuel injection. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2548 |
HIPAA schmipaa! We prefer our old-fashioned methods of ensuring our patients' confidentiality. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2549 |
You're right...you've got a fever hot enough to set paper on fire. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2550 |
After this butns we can move on to the prostate exam. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2551 |
Well, your insurance wasn't going to cover it anyway. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2552 |
Mr. Miller, Your test results indicate that you're a possible candidate for spontaneous human combustion. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2553 |
Setting fire to your diagnosis doesn't make it go away, you know. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2554 |
I am now required to ensure you have complete freedom to make your own healthcare decisions |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2555 |
Your test result was lit. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2556 |
Sorry, when the inflammation has spread this far, there's little I can do. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2557 |
These results are too hot for me, here's a specialist you should see. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2558 |
"Trust me. Your insurance reimbursement never happened. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2559 |
Guess who has gonorrhea ? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2560 |
I thought these were your pants |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2561 |
This is the last paternity test I am going to burn for you. After this you're on your own. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2562 |
The good new is it's an outflamation |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2563 |
Your temperature is completely off the chart! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2564 |
I told you there'd be hell to pay. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2565 |
Yes, when your blood pressure number becomes flammable, it is an indication of a cause for concern. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2566 |
...and the disease will consume your body, just as the fire consumes this piece of paper. But you needn't worry --- I have plenty of paper. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2567 |
I don't want to jump to conclusions but, well, when you add matches to tinder... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2568 |
I still don't think it's inflammation. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2569 |
I'm uploading your file to the cloud. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2570 |
But I doubt you want to hear the good news anyway. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2571 |
Your fine, but I'm afraid your health insurance isn't. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2572 |
You're going to die and then go to hell. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2573 |
We're transitioning to pyrotechnic medical records. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2574 |
This may be a bit uncomfortable. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2575 |
Henry, the lab work indicates your heartburn is pretty severe. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2576 |
Your heartburn is much worse than I thought. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2577 |
Maybe you should get a second opinion. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2578 |
Your biopsy is fine, but there's a problem with your insurance. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2579 |
Bad news or good news first? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2580 |
Our newest medical algorithms suggest you have 45 seconds to live. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2581 |
This is your chart. This is your chart on fire. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2582 |
It appears to just be some chart burn. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2583 |
You have the medical bill match plan. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2584 |
This doesn't mean I'm not confident in the diagnosis. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2585 |
Although Johnny Storm left the world of superheroes to study, go to medical school and become a doctor; he often found that he couldn't escape his younger alter ego. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2586 |
"Your test results show elevated acid re-flux levels"! |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2587 |
Not sure I like the new Snapchat app. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2588 |
The new HIPPA regulations protect your privacy, of course...... |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2589 |
As we suspected, a hot appendix. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2590 |
The main thing is not too over-react. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2591 |
Uhh, the diagnostic shows your heart burn might be more severe than we thought... |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2592 |
Your records indicate the worst case if inflammation I have ever seen. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2593 |
I would suggest calling Joe Bornstein. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2594 |
This info-sheet should help you better understand your panic disorder. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2595 |
Sorry, Charlie, your Devils Food Cake days are over. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2596 |
"Oh dear….I see you didn't pay your concierge fees…..: |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2597 |
Do you want to hear the bad news or the worse news--hurry, time's a wast'n. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2598 |
Worst case of hemorrhoids I've ever seen! |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2599 |
From our record to God's ear! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2600 |
This is yet one more example of the dangers of smoking. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2601 |
It says "Your disease is totally psychosomatic, you must leave this office and never return. These instructions will self-destruct in thirty seconds".... oops. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2602 |
You're probably not going to like this..... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2603 |
You're either having hot flashes or your pants are on fire. Our tests were inconclusive. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2604 |
Your temperature is rather high. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2605 |
Your perscrition is on fire (doctor). |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2606 |
It appears, Mr. Cash, that you've fallen in to a burning ring of fire. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2607 |
It's time we took the next step. There is a Preparation J. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2608 |
How did you do that, Mr. Green? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2609 |
Medical Marijuana's final hurdle: Zeus, god of lightning. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2610 |
I want to assure you that your personal information will not be compromised |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2611 |
I've never seen this before... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2612 |
This has a 70% success rate among fire swallowers. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2613 |
We'll just tell your wife the results of your HIV test were inconclusive. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2614 |
Well I’ll be darned, he was right. Obamacare just exploded. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2615 |
Crappy news Mrs. Smith. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2616 |
My diagnosis is Spontaneous Combustion Syndrome which is caused by inflated medical charges. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2617 |
Is the burning in your stomach like this ? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2618 |
No, you don't have a fever. It's just hot in here. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2619 |
I am waiting for Congress to act before I create a new bill. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2620 |
No one said getting old would be easy, Superman. You still have to pay your bill. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2621 |
There's too much evil in your diet. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2622 |
You're a wizard Harry! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2623 |
I think we know where you heat rash is coming from. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2624 |
Your lab report indicates hot flashes... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2625 |
I see it as kind of biblical -- not religious, just kind of biblical. But no, it's definitely not good. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2626 |
As I was saying, the second form of halitosis can be more difficult to treat. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2627 |
We're still working out the kinks of our new system. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2628 |
You definitely don't want the Russians getting their hands on this. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2629 |
On the other hand you're going someplace warm |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2630 |
Not the usual consent form, Mr. Phelps. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2631 |
This is why we will soon be switching to digital records. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2632 |
And for my next trick, I'm going to ask you to not go like that. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2633 |
Your fever is off the charts! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2634 |
So sorry, but it looks like your Obamacare has just been repealed and replaced with Trumpcare. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2635 |
Our lab techs are quite flamboyant. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2636 |
The diagnosis is confirmed. Inflamed hemorrhoids. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2637 |
Just leave this with the receptionist. She'll forward the ashes to President Trump. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2638 |
You'll be dead before I can finish reading this. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2639 |
Sorry, new HIPAA rules, I can only read your lab results out of a burning piece of paper |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2640 |
The only thing to worry about now is HIPPA. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2641 |
I'm afraid you have dragon breath |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2642 |
This is what happens when you don't stop smoking. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2643 |
Your tumor may present malignant effects. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2644 |
It appears that your Chartburn has flared up again |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2645 |
What do you want it to be? Your bill? Or your diagnosis? |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2646 |
It's our implementation of HIPAA, nobody is going to see your medical records. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2647 |
I'd only worry if it explodes. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2648 |
I think these results explain why you're experiencing a burning sensation. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2649 |
You're gonna need to put ice on this |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2650 |
Your healthcare plan will self-destruct in 3...2...1... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2651 |
I also request you not breath on the other staff members. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2652 |
As you can see, your numbers are flying off the charts. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2653 |
How are you alive? |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2654 |
Now you know why our hand writing is so notoriously bad. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2655 |
No, your insurance policy does not cover that. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2656 |
I thought you said lazy eye, not laser eye. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2657 |
Med school was fine, but my dream was always the fire academy. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2658 |
We were told our old reflex test wasn't "engaging" enough. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2659 |
Well looks like we know where you're going. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2660 |
"Needless to say, some antibiotics will be in order". |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2661 |
You're not sick....you're just burned out. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2662 |
I'll bet you love asking these burning questions as you hold that clipboard in your hot little hands. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2663 |
It's irreversible. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2664 |
Your urine is 80 proof. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2665 |
This test proves you are a flaming queen. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2666 |
Your acid reflux isn't your only burning issue. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2667 |
I'll admit, this latest medical record privacy requirement does seem extreme. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2668 |
Whoa, it looks like your telekinesis levels are off the charts! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2669 |
Well, you're not the father, but I REALLY need to speak with the man who is. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2670 |
Positive for hemorrhoids. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2671 |
It seems your testosterone level is a tad too high. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2672 |
Only you can prevent forest fires |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2673 |
I've got good news and bad news. BP is OK but your fever has gotten worse. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2674 |
Sorry, it's a HIPAA requirement. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2675 |
Your diagnosis, should you decide to accept it... |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2676 |
Good morning, Mr. Phelps. Your diagnosis, should you decide to accept it, is....oh, crap. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2677 |
I'm writing you a new prescription. Make sure to take it with plenty of water. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2678 |
- There is your heartburn. We removed it from your history file. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2679 |
If you accept this mission, the bad news is the enemy is inside you. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2680 |
Your temperature appears here as 451 degrees, Fahrenheit. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2681 |
Honestly, things don't look great. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2682 |
The test is conclusive - too many chilies in your diet. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2683 |
Let's see: Heart Burn, Inflamed Bowels, Burning Fever,Firery Rash and Health Care Up in Smoke. It's not good George! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2684 |
I suggest you cut back on the Sriracha sauce |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2685 |
It's simply routine to burn everything you might have touched. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2686 |
It's not exactly good news... |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2687 |
Our medical records office has just installed a new patient security system. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2688 |
Your fever seems to be contagious. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2689 |
I think I left yours on my desk. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2690 |
Have you visited any foreign "Hot Spots" recently? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2691 |
Blood sugar OK; cholesterol is fine. But my god man, your capsaicin is through the roof! |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2692 |
Superman! I understand your frustration but using your Heat Vision superpower to destroy your ED diagnosis report won't help! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2693 |
Before we discuss your lab results, how about a little magic trick to lighten the-- dammit! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2694 |
Do you mind holding this for a minute while I check your blood pressure? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2695 |
You should see the women's charts. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2696 |
So, you want the bad news or a marshmellow? |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2697 |
Needless to say, your test results are burning up the charts. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2698 |
Any recent heartburn? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2699 |
I'll need to send your labs to a specialist to review, but nothing to be concerned about until then. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2700 |
The inflammation has jumped a level of abstraction. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2701 |
Well Joe, the results are in... looks like you have a particularly severe case of Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome.... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2702 |
This new treatment procedure is really catching fire! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2703 |
Let's not worry about that for now. Let's just focus on getting you better. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2704 |
I'm not convinced it's inflammation. Let's order more tests. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2705 |
I'd love to show you your results but as you can see, they're on fire. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2706 |
Open your mouth and say, "Arrgghhhhh!!" |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2707 |
The only treatment I am permitted to offer under your current insurance is to read out the bible quotation on this piece of paper whilst setting it on fire. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2708 |
It's called The Mother Of All Health Care Plans |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2709 |
To ensure patient privacy all test results are sent via an App that self-destructs within two minutes after reading. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2710 |
Congratulations Bob! You've been selected as our first Clinical Trial participant! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2711 |
I think we should try a statin. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2712 |
Let's up your dose of anti-oxidants. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2713 |
Your diagnosis is telekinesis. Mr. Donovan, you are a fire starter. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2714 |
If treated, your insurance company will disavow any knowledge of you |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2715 |
You're fine. But your Trumpcare plan, not so good. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2716 |
Have you been feeling unusually warm? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2717 |
Let's give it a couple of days and see if it spreads. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2718 |
It's your prostate results, but don't worry. Obamacare will pay for the test. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2719 |
I got your lab results back from Mount Sinai, it says "thou hast a tubular adenoma, thou mayst not eat of the flesh of beasts, I am the LORD." |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2720 |
Let's just say, we'll expect payment in full before you leave. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2721 |
It's clear from the test results that your gallblader is inflamed |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2722 |
Your hemmoroid tests are in |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2723 |
I'm afraid it's more serious than heartburn. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2724 |
And this is your bill on drugs. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2725 |
Your inflamed colon seems to be spreading. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2726 |
Your health insurance expired. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2727 |
My Congressman has been warning me that the ACA would soon self destruct. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2728 |
This is your esophagus on spicy foods...any questions? |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2729 |
It's our new sure-fire method for avoiding HIPAA violations. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2730 |
We've just started using Samsung for all our record keeping. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2731 |
New breakthrough treatment to burn cals fast! |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2732 |
Oh, so it actually burns when you pee... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2733 |
Don't worry Mr. Smith this happens when I bill the insurance company. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2734 |
I'm sorry, I pulled satan's file by mistake. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2735 |
This is what happens when your blood pressure's higher than your credit rating. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2736 |
Have you experienced many days when strange things occur? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2737 |
This diagnosis, should you choose to accept it … |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2738 |
Man, I really hate when this happens! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2739 |
It's a new HIPAA precaution. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2740 |
I'm worried about these CO2 levels. |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2741 |
Ask yourself, 'Are you lucky?' |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2742 |
Any smoke getting in your eyes? |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2743 |
Take this and don't call me in the morning! |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2744 |
'You're Off the Charts now.' |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2745 |
This is going to burn a bit..... |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2746 |
liar!Liar! Pot's on fire. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2747 |
My God, man, how many habanero poppers did you eat? |
1.1304 |
0.09544 |
23 |
21 |
1 |
1 |
2748 |
So, you're feeling a burning sensation? That's funny, so am I. |
1.1304 |
0.07180 |
23 |
20 |
3 |
0 |
2749 |
Your new exercise regimen is going down in flames. |
1.1250 |
0.06896 |
24 |
21 |
3 |
0 |
2750 |
I'm working on anger management. |
1.1250 |
0.09153 |
24 |
22 |
1 |
1 |
2751 |
We've completed all the tests but I'm prohibited from discussing the treatment plan since coverage has been denied by your health insurer. |
1.1250 |
0.09153 |
24 |
22 |
1 |
1 |
2752 |
All you need is an anti-inflammatory. |
1.1250 |
0.06896 |
24 |
21 |
3 |
0 |
2753 |
We're gradually converting to a paperless medical record system. |
1.1000 |
0.10000 |
20 |
19 |
0 |
1 |
2754 |
Your acid reflux is flaring up again. |
1.1000 |
0.06882 |
20 |
18 |
2 |
0 |
2755 |
Yes. I think heartburn might be part of your problem! |
1.1000 |
0.06882 |
20 |
18 |
2 |
0 |
2756 |
Your health is fine, but your healthcare plan is weak, infected and seems to be running a very high fever. |
1.1000 |
0.06882 |
20 |
18 |
2 |
0 |
2757 |
So it looks like there's still a bit of inflammation. |
1.1000 |
0.06882 |
20 |
18 |
2 |
0 |
2758 |
just because the doctor says something it doesn't mean its true |
1.1000 |
0.06882 |
20 |
18 |
2 |
0 |
2759 |
We're not sure just what it is, but we can say it's highly combustible. |
1.1000 |
0.06882 |
20 |
18 |
2 |
0 |
2760 |
I see that the Viagra worked out fine. |
1.1000 |
0.06882 |
20 |
18 |
2 |
0 |
2761 |
I see you're indicating the hemorrhoid symptoms have gotten worse. |
1.1000 |
0.10000 |
20 |
19 |
0 |
1 |
2762 |
First word "hea |