Contest #553


Cartoon

553


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started 2017-01-16
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued 2017-01-29 (estimated)
Number of captions 6996
Number of responses 547090
Number of participants 27780


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 I'd like to see other people. 1.7866 0.04621 328 157 84 87
1 I know that look, you're not going to let this go. 1.7600 0.04754 300 146 80 74
2 I'd like to see other people. 1.7393 0.04800 280 136 81 63
3 What a delightful coincidence. I'm also recently single. 1.7181 0.04900 259 127 78 54
4 Maybe his second week will go better. 1.7148 0.05166 256 134 61 61
5 The corrupt media will blow this way out of proportion. 1.7126 0.05144 254 132 63 59
6 I want to start seeing other people... 1.7126 0.05083 254 130 67 57
7 Hopefully the president's second day in office will go a bit smoother. 1.7115 0.05132 253 131 64 58
8 Oh, and I'm gay. 1.6942 0.05161 242 126 64 52
9 I wonder what Donald will do on his second day? 1.6942 0.05195 242 127 62 53
10 I'm gay. 1.6682 0.05704 220 127 39 54
11 I'm not leaving. It's rent-controlled. 1.6667 0.05543 219 122 48 49
12 I want to see other people. 1.6667 0.05443 222 122 52 48
13 You just had to tear off that mattress tag. 1.6636 0.05356 217 116 58 43
14 ... and it's only January 21st. 1.6573 0.05607 213 120 46 47
15 On the plus side, Manhattan is affordable now. 1.6573 0.04980 213 105 76 32
16 I'd like to start seeing other people. 1.6573 0.05607 213 120 46 47
17 I'm gay. 1.6507 0.05665 209 119 44 46
18 I won't fight the divorce...... you can have everything 1.6386 0.05405 202 109 57 36
19 The good news is they cancelled my colonoscopy. 1.6294 0.05480 197 108 54 35
20 Don't worry, he's going to replace it with something terrific. 1.6276 0.05457 196 107 55 34
21 He did promise to create more construction jobs. 1.6276 0.05505 196 108 53 35
22 We're just two people breaking up. It's not the end of the world. 1.6276 0.05552 196 109 51 36
23 It's only January, honey. Give him a chance! 1.6256 0.05944 195 117 34 44
24 Okay, maybe you did smell gas. 1.6218 0.05532 193 107 52 34
25 Give him a chance, they said. How bad could he be, they said. 1.6198 0.05844 192 113 39 40
26 Well, maybe the second 100 days will be better. 1.6117 0.05907 188 112 37 39
27 I think we should see other people. 1.6054 0.05690 185 106 46 33
28 Don't look at me. I voted for Hillary. 1.6047 0.05978 172 100 40 32
29 I think we should see other people. 1.6044 0.05606 182 102 50 30
30 Remember when you said you'd only date me if I was the last man on earth? 1.6033 0.05717 184 106 45 33
31 So, what do you think he'll do in his second term? 1.6033 0.05971 184 111 35 38
32 Well, that's one inauguration I don't think any of us will ever forget. 1.6011 0.05796 183 107 42 34
33 That was one hell of an inauguration 1.5978 0.06009 179 108 35 36
34 I would like to see other people 1.5955 0.05658 178 101 48 29
35 On the positive side, no more Twitter. 1.5932 0.05742 177 102 45 30
36 It's still not the worst first date I've been on. 1.5932 0.05572 177 99 51 27
37 I'm very anxious to see Trump's second day in office. 1.5932 0.05798 177 103 43 31
38 You're now looking at the handsomest man alive. 1.5932 0.05907 177 105 39 33
39 So then the genie says, "Sure, I'll make you the sexiest man alive..." 1.5886 0.06182 175 109 29 37
40 Maybe we should have voted. 1.5862 0.05770 174 101 44 29
41 Who knew the Nuclear codes were just 140 characters? 1.5862 0.05996 174 105 36 33
42 Well Joan, now I am the last man on earth. 1.5838 0.06026 173 105 35 33
43 Explain to me again how this is all my fault. 1.5789 0.05856 171 101 41 29
44 So I guess this is my fault? 1.5765 0.05826 170 100 42 28
45 It's not like it's the end of the world. 1.5765 0.05455 170 94 54 22
46 Okay, maybe I should have read the instructions. 1.5765 0.05705 170 98 46 26
47 I want to see other people. 1.5740 0.06033 169 103 35 31
48 It said microwave safe 1.5697 0.05908 165 98 40 27
49 Other than that, I think our first date went well. 1.5697 0.05781 165 96 44 25
50 I liked it better when he just tweeted. 1.5689 0.06094 167 103 33 31
51 I hear they've canceled his Twitter account. 1.5689 0.06094 167 103 33 31
52 I liked America better before it was great... 1.5689 0.06035 167 102 35 30
53 Well, at least he drained the swamp! 1.5689 0.05853 167 99 41 27
54 Is it too soon to say "I told you so?" 1.5671 0.05875 164 97 41 26
55 Remember that time you said even if I were the last man on Earth? 1.5644 0.05969 163 98 38 27
56 What do you mean "if" I was the last man on Earth? 1.5617 0.05738 162 94 45 23
57 No, I haven't seen your glasses. 1.5590 0.05901 161 96 40 25
58 In retrospect, last year wasn’t so bad. 1.5562 0.05729 160 93 45 22
59 Why would they even have that button on the copier? 1.5562 0.06191 160 100 31 29
60 But I am the last man on earth. 1.5562 0.05729 160 93 45 22
61 So much for the first 100 days! 1.5562 0.06127 160 99 33 28
62 I'm guessing this will come up in therapy tomorrow. 1.5562 0.05227 160 86 59 15
63 I guess we will never see his tax returns. 1.5535 0.05895 159 95 40 24
64 There goes the neighborhood. 1.5535 0.05689 159 92 46 21
65 I don't know, what do you want to do? 1.5506 0.05718 158 92 45 21
66 I think now is the time to buy. 1.5449 0.05558 156 89 49 18
67 So ... NO metal in the microwave? 1.5419 0.05734 155 91 44 20
68 You know the media always tries to blow things out of proportion. 1.5390 0.06051 154 95 35 24
69 You make it sound like it's the end of the world. 1.5390 0.05538 154 88 49 17
70 I suppose this is my fault, too. 1.5385 0.05990 156 96 36 24
71 You're figuring out a way to make this all my fault, aren't you? 1.5364 0.06000 151 92 37 22
72 I met someone. 1.5364 0.06288 151 96 29 26
73 Gesundheit. 1.5364 0.06073 151 93 35 23
74 I told you not to remove the tags on the pillow. 1.5364 0.06073 151 93 35 23
75 I still say 2016 was worse. 1.5359 0.06012 153 94 36 23
76 Are you feeling the Bern now. 1.5359 0.06427 153 100 24 29
77 Game over. Someone played the Trump card. 1.5359 0.06153 153 96 32 25
78 That was close. 1.5333 0.06032 150 92 36 22
79 I think now is the time to buy. 1.5333 0.06106 150 93 34 23
80 I told you not to open the attachment. 1.5270 0.06320 148 95 28 25
81 On the bright side, I'm now less worried about my carbon footprint. 1.5270 0.05708 148 87 44 17
82 I told you not to remove the tag from the pillow. 1.5270 0.06247 148 94 30 24
83 In hindsight, maybe the launch code shouldn't have been 12345. 1.5270 0.05788 148 88 42 18
84 At least we have a shot at getting Hamilton tickets. 1.5238 0.05819 147 88 41 18
85 I'll let you keep the house. 1.5238 0.05898 147 89 39 19
86 Honey, have you seen my Samsung 7? 1.5238 0.05977 147 90 37 20
87 Well at least we don't have to worry about his second term. 1.5238 0.06054 147 91 35 21
88 The first sign was the Cubs winning the World Series. 1.5238 0.05898 147 89 39 19
89 Okay, next time I'll read the instructions! 1.5238 0.05819 147 88 41 18
90 Yea, but think of all the construction jobs he just created! 1.5238 0.05977 147 90 37 20
91 Have you seen the cat? 1.5238 0.05977 147 90 37 20
92 What's it going to take for twitter to suspend his account? 1.5238 0.06131 147 92 33 22
93 Did you remember to lock the front door? 1.5205 0.05768 146 87 42 17
94 So, not even if I am the last man on earth? 1.5205 0.06240 146 93 30 23
95 I suppose this is also my fault. 1.5205 0.06164 146 92 32 22
96 Now you have my complete attention. 1.5205 0.06009 146 90 36 20
97 Cheer up. I hear this is fake news. 1.5205 0.06009 146 90 36 20
98 So.... how was your day? 1.5172 0.05715 145 86 43 16
99 Well, now that I actually am the last man on earth . . . . 1.5172 0.06275 145 93 29 23
100 On the plus side, the 3:00AM tweets have stopped. 1.5172 0.06120 145 91 33 21
101 Not with a bang but a tweet. 1.5172 0.06120 145 91 33 21
102 You seem upset. 1.5139 0.06232 144 92 30 22
103 Yes, I realize I said nothing could be worse than 2016... 1.5139 0.05829 144 87 40 17
104 Well, at least it was a short presidency 1.5139 0.06386 144 94 26 24
105 It's a little late to change your vote. 1.5139 0.06074 144 90 34 20
106 Actually, I have all the time in the world 1.5106 0.05922 141 86 38 17
107 At least he can't tweet anymore. 1.5106 0.06336 141 91 28 22
108 Think we just inherited the earth. 1.5106 0.05922 141 86 38 17
109 Okay. You were right. You DID smell gas. 1.5106 0.06007 141 87 36 18
110 I hope this is fake news 1.5106 0.05836 141 85 40 16
111 For the last time, it's pronounced nuclear, not nucular. 1.5106 0.06336 141 91 28 22
112 Why is everything always MY fault? 1.5106 0.06007 141 87 36 18
113 I swear. There's no one else. 1.5106 0.06174 141 89 32 20
114 Well, it appears we waited too long to move to Canada. 1.5105 0.05776 143 86 41 16
115 You win, he is that crazy. 1.5105 0.06107 143 90 33 20
116 I guess this is all my fault too. 1.5105 0.06107 143 90 33 20
117 Well that was one of our more memorable arguments. 1.5105 0.05944 143 88 37 18
118 Did you turn off the stove? 1.5105 0.06422 143 94 25 24
119 Jeez! The Inauguration was only yesterday! 1.5105 0.06266 143 92 29 22
120 I hear they've finally canceled his Twitter account. 1.5071 0.06208 140 89 31 20
121 I appreciate your dedication to keeping this appointment. 1.5071 0.06208 140 89 31 20
122 Never...ever...ask Siri that again. 1.5071 0.06290 140 90 29 21
123 To think it started as a Twitter war. 1.5071 0.06451 140 92 25 23
124 You are positively glowing. 1.5071 0.06124 140 88 33 19
125 Well, the good news is he can't tweet anymore. 1.5071 0.06451 140 92 25 23
126 On the bright side, Mexico is building a wall to keep us out. 1.5036 0.05987 139 86 36 17
127 Who was the idiot that put the nuclear codes on Twitter? 1.5036 0.06158 139 88 32 19
128 "How much could go wrong in four years," you said. 1.5036 0.06325 139 90 28 21
129 Well, you're not my first choice to repopulate the Earth either. 1.5036 0.06407 139 91 26 22
130 Well at least Hamilton tickets might be available 1.5036 0.06242 139 89 30 20
131 it's still his first year in office, give him a chance ! 1.5036 0.06488 139 92 24 23
132 On second thought, maybe we shouldn't see other people. 1.5036 0.05987 139 86 36 17
133 You said we'd all make it through his first 100 days. You owe me five dollars. 1.5000 0.06019 138 86 35 17
134 Well, the repeal part is done. 1.5000 0.06444 138 91 25 22
135 So...you can have the house 1.5000 0.06277 138 89 29 20
136 You were right. Are you happy now? 1.5000 0.06290 140 91 28 21
137 Okay, he probably shouldn't have tweeted that. 1.5000 0.06125 140 89 32 19
138 Yes, in retrospect, I would change my vote. 1.5000 0.06277 138 89 29 20
139 Well, at least Trump Tower is gone. 1.5000 0.06444 138 91 25 22
140 I was on board for making America great again, but I didn't think they'd start from scratch ... 1.4964 0.06397 137 90 26 21
141 How about now that I actually am the last guy on earth? 1.4964 0.06227 137 88 30 19
142 Not even if I'm the last man on earth? 1.4964 0.06140 137 87 32 18
143 Tell the lawyer you can keep the house. 1.4964 0.06397 137 90 26 21
144 I suppose you're not cooking dinner tonight? 1.4964 0.06052 137 86 34 17
145 Okay. Perhaps aluminum foil should not go in the microwave. 1.4964 0.06140 137 87 32 18
146 Fine. Neither of us keep the house. 1.4964 0.06227 137 88 30 19
147 No, Sharon, I'm not happy now. 1.4964 0.06397 137 90 26 21
148 They took away his Twitter account. 1.4964 0.06644 137 93 20 24
149 Actually, his first week went better than I expected. 1.4964 0.06227 137 88 30 19
150 Uber says 9 minutes barring another attack 1.4964 0.06140 137 87 32 18
151 Apparently, he thought it was the tweet button 1.4964 0.06480 137 91 24 22
152 Get him a chemistry set you said! 1.4964 0.05780 137 83 40 14
153 Well at least we got Obamacare repealed. 1.4926 0.06601 136 92 21 23
154 Remember when you said you wouldn't date me if I were the last man on earth? 1.4926 0.05995 136 85 35 16
155 I wonder what the other button did. 1.4926 0.05716 136 82 41 13
156 You act like it's the end of the world. 1.4926 0.05904 136 84 37 15
157 On a more positive note it eliminates the need for a wall. 1.4926 0.06348 136 89 27 20
158 I can't believe it is only January 21st. 1.4926 0.06262 136 88 29 19
159 ... and it's only January 21st. 1.4926 0.06348 136 89 27 20
160 So, I guess we'll never know whether it was the Russians, the Chinese, or that four hundred pound guy sitting on the edge his bed. 1.4926 0.06683 136 93 19 24
161 Give the man a chance, honey. He’s only been in office a week. 1.4926 0.06085 136 86 33 17
162 Now that I AM the last man on earth, do you feel any differently? 1.4926 0.06174 136 87 31 18
163 Now that was a spectacular Inauguration! 1.4926 0.06683 136 93 19 24
164 OK—Now I'm with her. 1.4926 0.06348 136 89 27 20
165 I'm not worried, he said this is just fake news. 1.4926 0.06262 136 88 29 19
166 "Not great. How was your day? 1.4926 0.05716 136 82 41 13
167 Fine. You were right. I should have read the directions. 1.4926 0.06174 136 87 31 18
168 Well, it was 4 A.M. and I guess he just thought he could tweet on his new, red phone. 1.4926 0.06348 136 89 27 20
169 So apparently Twitter is not a great medium for foreign policy. 1.4926 0.06262 136 88 29 19
170 Are we Great Again yet? 1.4926 0.06262 136 88 29 19
171 Oh please don't tell me you're gay. 1.4926 0.06262 136 88 29 19
172 Well at least we made it to the final two. 1.4926 0.05995 136 85 35 16
173 That was a hell of a tweet 1.4926 0.06348 136 89 27 20
174 The last thing I remember was pulling the lever in the voting booth 1.4926 0.06518 136 91 23 22
175 Where were we? 1.4926 0.05811 136 83 39 14
176 Somehow you're going to make this MY fault. 1.4926 0.05811 136 83 39 14
177 You didn't pierce the potato skin before you put it in the microwave. 1.4851 0.06153 134 86 31 17
178 I've been looking forward to being alone with you. 1.4851 0.06507 134 90 23 21
179 How have things been going otherwise? 1.4851 0.05579 134 80 43 11
180 That was some inauguration, eh? 1.4851 0.06333 134 88 27 19
181 It turned out that Putin didn't like Trump that much. 1.4848 0.05938 132 82 36 14
182 Well it's finally happened, Shirley...We're all dressed up with no place to go. 1.4848 0.06223 132 85 30 17
183 Turns out 140 characters IS enough. 1.4848 0.06496 132 88 24 20
184 C'mon, Judy. I'm literally the last man on Earth. 1.4848 0.06496 132 88 24 20
185 Oh sure, now you want to move to Canada. 1.4848 0.06130 132 84 32 16
186 Why does everything have to be my fault? 1.4848 0.06315 132 86 28 18
187 Well that was the tweet to end all tweets. 1.4809 0.06884 131 92 15 24
188 Somehow I'm not feeling 'Great Again'... 1.4809 0.06534 131 88 23 20
189 Well, actually, I AM the last man on Earth." 1.4809 0.06352 131 86 27 18
190 Who did he tweet this time? 1.4809 0.06443 131 87 25 19
191 Some Inauguration, huh? 1.4809 0.06352 131 86 27 18
192 So--are you still going to the Women's March tomorrow? 1.4809 0.06443 131 87 25 19
193 We'll, Glenda, it looks like I am the last man on Earth. 1.4809 0.05970 131 82 35 14
194 Oh, so this is my fault? 1.4809 0.06164 131 84 31 16
195 January 21, 2017. "Well, that didn't take long." 1.4809 0.06534 131 88 23 20
196 A bigger person might let this go, but I still hate that sweater on you. 1.4809 0.06623 131 89 21 21
197 You still think we should keep the Electoral College? 1.4809 0.06352 131 86 27 18
198 'I think the Inauguration went well, don't you'? 1.4809 0.06164 131 84 31 16
199 The glass is always half empty with you, isn't it? 1.4769 0.06388 130 86 26 18
200 Adam. And you? 1.4769 0.06101 130 83 32 15
201 So, now that I AM the last man on Earth... 1.4769 0.06294 130 85 28 17
202 In real estate we call this an opportunity. 1.4769 0.06003 130 82 34 14
203 But 'Kim Jong Eun is a stinkyface' was a pretty funny tweet ... 1.4769 0.06572 130 88 22 20
204 OK, so I voted wrong -- you act like it's the end of the world! 1.4769 0.06198 130 84 30 16
205 So just to clarify, that was NOT even if I was the last man on earth? 1.4769 0.06101 130 83 32 15
206 Don't care what the neighbors might say, I still think you can control the heat easier with a gas range... 1.4769 0.06294 130 85 28 17
207 Sure, maybe it was Russia. Maybe it was China. For all we know, it was a 400 kiloton guy sitting on his bed in New Jersey! 1.4733 0.06532 131 89 22 20
208 Your exact words were, "Maybe if you were the last man on earth." 1.4733 0.06256 131 86 28 17
209 Apparently, our neighborhood was ruining the view from his golf course. 1.4733 0.06441 131 88 24 19
210 I may not be 'The One.' But I am the one left. 1.4733 0.05968 131 83 34 14
211 Okay, you can have the house. 1.4729 0.05935 129 81 35 13
212 You win. 1.4729 0.06425 129 86 25 18
213 I think we just experienced the 'temperamentally unfit' part. 1.4729 0.06330 129 85 27 17
214 You take the house. 1.4729 0.06036 129 82 33 14
215 Yea, but think of all the construction jobs he just created! 1.4729 0.06135 129 83 31 15
216 All right, what's the SECOND worst that could happen? 1.4729 0.06233 129 84 29 16
217 No, I distinctly remember you saying only if I was the last man on earth. 1.4729 0.06425 129 86 25 18
218 Now that we've leveled the playing field, can we talk? 1.4729 0.05511 129 77 43 9
219 Good party. 1.4729 0.06036 129 82 33 14
220 Remember when you said, "not if you were the last man on earth"? 1.4729 0.06518 129 87 23 19
221 I'm seeing someone else. 1.4729 0.06330 129 85 27 17
222 I voted for change. 1.4729 0.06518 129 87 23 19
223 Well, that was one hell of an inauguration week. 1.4729 0.06233 129 84 29 16
224 So maybe we should scrap the Electoral College. 1.4688 0.06170 128 83 30 15
225 Still think we shouldn't take him literally? 1.4688 0.06366 128 85 26 17
226 So... what are your plans for his second day in office? 1.4688 0.06366 128 85 26 17
227 ...and what do you think we can expect for the SECOND week of the new administration? 1.4688 0.05967 128 81 34 13
228 And to think it's only been ten days since the inauguration. 1.4688 0.06268 128 84 28 16
229 Ok, maybe we do need counseling. 1.4688 0.06069 128 82 32 14
230 To be fair, he's only been in office for a month. 1.4688 0.06268 128 84 28 16
231 And yet they still won't abolish the Electoral College. 1.4688 0.06268 128 84 28 16
232 I told you we shouldn't have gotten Samsung phones! 1.4688 0.06170 128 83 30 15
233 You looked less surrounded by devastation in your profile. 1.4688 0.06069 128 82 32 14
234 I heard that President Trump thought the red button was for room service! 1.4688 0.06649 128 88 20 20
235 I'd like to revisit your "Not even if you were the last man on Earth" statement, Linda. 1.4688 0.06556 128 87 22 19
236 A lot of people are saying this didn't happen. 1.4688 0.05967 128 81 34 13
237 But I'm pretty sure I am the last man on earth, Jean. 1.4688 0.06366 128 85 26 17
238 "Talk about dumb luck...Only female left on earth and it's my 2nd grade teacher"! 1.4651 0.06327 129 86 26 17
239 I suppose it depends on your definition of 'great again.' 1.4646 0.06204 127 83 29 15
240 Why does everything have to be the end of the world with you?? 1.4646 0.06499 127 86 23 18
241 He really got down to business those first 100 days, I'll give him that. 1.4646 0.06304 127 84 27 16
242 I wonder what the next 3 years and 364 days will be like. 1.4646 0.06204 127 83 29 15
243 Trump just tweeted that their first strike was 'overrated'. 1.4646 0.06304 127 84 27 16
244 Well, I AM the last man on earth, and I'd like you to reconsider. 1.4646 0.06499 127 86 23 18
245 I don't think the bus is coming. 1.4646 0.05999 127 81 33 13
246 Happy now? 1.4646 0.05999 127 81 33 13
247 And you said, "How much damage can he possibly do in four years?"!! 1.4646 0.06595 127 87 21 19
248 Honestly, I love you more than anyone else on Earth. 1.4646 0.06304 127 84 27 16
249 Take-out tonight? 1.4646 0.06304 127 84 27 16
250 So... wanna repopulate? 1.4646 0.06102 127 82 31 14
251 I'm starting to think 2016 wasn't that bad... 1.4646 0.05999 127 81 33 13
252 We shouldn't have joked about his penis. 1.4646 0.06499 127 86 23 18
253 Did you have any trouble finding the place? 1.4646 0.05894 127 80 35 12
254 Soooo, you live around here? 1.4646 0.05894 127 80 35 12
255 What do you mean there's another man? 1.4603 0.06340 126 84 26 16
256 Now do you believe I smelled gas? 1.4603 0.06439 126 85 24 17
257 The first 100 days went better than I thought. 1.4603 0.06032 126 81 32 13
258 Do we still have to use a condom? 1.4603 0.06239 126 83 28 15
259 I told you we should move to Canada. 1.4603 0.06032 126 81 32 13
260 Kind of puts climate change on the back burner, doesn’t it? 1.4603 0.06439 126 85 24 17
261 Hey, don't look at me... I voted for Hillary 1.4597 0.06618 124 85 21 18
262 This calls for a selfie 1.4597 0.06618 124 85 21 18
263 Okay, NOW you have my full attention. 1.4597 0.06102 124 80 31 13
264 Ha! They all laughed when we scrunched down under our desks. 1.4597 0.05994 124 79 33 12
265 Well that escalated quickly. 1.4597 0.06102 124 80 31 13
266 I said yes, 'yes the gas is not off'. 1.4597 0.06417 124 83 25 16
267 The good news is they've found our luggage. 1.4597 0.05656 124 76 39 9
268 In retrospect, that last tweet may have been a mistake. 1.4597 0.06518 124 84 23 17
269 ...and anyway, it's pronounced 'nuke-u-lar,' Edna. 1.4597 0.06417 124 83 25 16
270 Does this mean we're cockroaches? 1.4597 0.06417 124 83 25 16
271 Well, at least he didn't use a private server for his government emails 1.4597 0.06417 124 83 25 16
272 Do you think we still have wi-fi? 1.4567 0.05562 127 78 40 9
273 I don't think the bus has ever been this late before. 1.4567 0.06098 127 83 30 14
274 I told you I smelled gas. 1.4567 0.06398 127 86 24 17
275 Now's the best time to buy 1.4567 0.05995 127 82 32 13
276 In retrospect divorce mediation might have been a better choice. 1.4553 0.06350 123 82 26 15
277 You look a bit less cheerful than your online photo. 1.4553 0.05567 123 75 40 8
278 I think we should start seeing other people. 1.4553 0.06244 123 81 28 14
279 So much for cozying up to Putin 1.4553 0.06350 123 82 26 15
280 So...are you single? 1.4553 0.05915 123 78 34 11
281 When I said that George, I didn't think you'd actually be the last man on Earth. 1.4553 0.06556 123 84 22 17
282 So, it appears you did NOT turn off the coffee maker. 1.4553 0.06350 123 82 26 15
283 Give him a fair shot-he's only been in office a week. 1.4553 0.06136 123 80 30 13
284 I know what you said before, but now that I AM the last man on earth....... 1.4553 0.06454 123 83 24 16
285 Sorry, Eve; I'm gay. 1.4553 0.06136 123 80 30 13
286 What a relief! The president just tweeted that reports of total destruction were all fake news. 1.4553 0.06244 123 81 28 14
287 Unfortunately, we still haven't met our deductible. 1.4553 0.06244 123 81 28 14
288 Looks like you'll meet your deductible... 1.4553 0.06244 123 81 28 14
289 Let's eat out tonight. 1.4553 0.05915 123 78 34 11
290 Okay, but let's not forget about Hillary's emails. 1.4553 0.06556 123 84 22 17
291 OK, can we just agree that I was wrong when I said, "it's just an election, it's not the end of the world" and move on? 1.4553 0.06657 123 85 20 18
292 We should start thinking about the midterm elections. 1.4508 0.06170 122 80 29 13
293 As nuclear winters go, it's been quite a mild one. 1.4508 0.06279 122 81 27 14
294 I hear Michigan, Ohio and Wisconsin are untouched. 1.4508 0.06595 122 84 21 17
295 Might you reconsider now that I AM the last man on Earth? 1.4508 0.06595 122 84 21 17
296 I don't see a future for us. 1.4508 0.06170 122 80 29 13
297 As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted... 1.4508 0.05832 122 77 35 10
298 Fake news! 1.4508 0.06697 122 85 19 18
299 Somehow I think this will end up being my fault. 1.4508 0.06491 122 83 23 16
300 It's just more fake news. 1.4508 0.06386 122 82 25 15
301 Only four more years. 1.4508 0.06386 122 82 25 15
302 Well, I voted for change. 1.4508 0.06491 122 83 23 16
303 Would I vote for him again? Probably not. 1.4508 0.06595 122 84 21 17
304 No, I did not put something metallic in the microwave. 1.4508 0.06279 122 81 27 14
305 It started with a Tweet. 1.4508 0.06491 122 83 23 16
306 What do you say now? I AM the last man on earth. 1.4472 0.06449 123 84 23 16
307 Don't worry - this is just an invention of the liberal media. 1.4472 0.06239 123 82 27 14
308 Remember when you said, "not even if you where the last man on earth..." 1.4463 0.06205 121 80 28 13
309 So...we're off the hook for dinner with your mom? 1.4463 0.06634 121 84 20 17
310 Well... now I am the last man on earth 1.4463 0.06529 121 83 22 16
311 Well, I AM the last man on earth... 1.4463 0.06423 121 82 24 15
312 I still say give him a chance. 1.4463 0.06093 121 79 30 12
313 I know it wasn't a great first date, but can I call you? 1.4463 0.05862 121 77 34 10
314 Well, now we really have nothing to talk about. 1.4463 0.06093 121 79 30 12
315 I guess Putin didn't think that tweet was funny. 1.4463 0.06529 121 83 22 16
316 Just had to keep tweeting about his hair, didn't you? 1.4463 0.06634 121 84 20 17
317 Well, Martha, he still has three years to make America great again. 1.4463 0.06315 121 81 26 14
318 So, is this your first apocalypse? 1.4463 0.05862 121 77 34 10
319 And you were worried about the repeal of Obamacare. 1.4426 0.05941 122 79 32 11
320 No neighbors and an open concept. Looks like we both get what we want. 1.4426 0.06054 122 80 30 12
321 I was wrong. Things could get worse. 1.4426 0.06165 122 81 28 13
322 On the plus side, Obamacare was repealed. 1.4426 0.06273 122 82 26 14
323 I should have clarified what you meant by nuclear family. 1.4426 0.06792 122 87 16 19
324 I saw fireworks. How was it for you? 1.4426 0.06486 122 84 22 16
325 Have you seen the remote? 1.4417 0.06567 120 83 21 16
326 What do you mean "if" I was the last man on Earth? 1.4417 0.06777 120 85 17 18
327 I think we should try to see other people. 1.4417 0.06239 120 80 27 13
328 Satisfied? 1.4417 0.06351 120 81 25 14
329 Don't blame me. YOU voted for him. 1.4417 0.06351 120 81 25 14
330 One tweet too many? 1.4370 0.06043 119 78 30 11
331 He'll get the hang of it by his second term. 1.4370 0.06160 119 79 28 12
332 And that was just his inaugural speech. 1.4370 0.06160 119 79 28 12
333 Ten bucks says the bus is late! 1.4370 0.06387 119 81 24 14
334 Well, they've taken care of Housing and Urban Development. I guess Energy is next. 1.4370 0.06274 119 80 26 13
335 This seems to be the "for worse" part 1.4370 0.06713 119 84 18 17
336 Oh well, we did vote for change. 1.4370 0.06497 119 82 22 15
337 Why do you always have to go ballistic? 1.4370 0.06387 119 81 24 14
338 This is probably not the best time for me to come out of the closet.... 1.4370 0.06497 119 82 22 15
339 My bucket list has changed. What about yours? 1.4370 0.06043 119 78 30 11
340 I specifically told the travel agent ANCIENT ruins. 1.4370 0.06274 119 80 26 13
341 So much for "Putin likes me and that is an asset"! 1.4370 0.06274 119 80 26 13
342 So...now that I really am the last man on earth... 1.4370 0.06497 119 82 22 15
343 I'm usually more fun on the second date. 1.4370 0.06387 119 81 24 14
344 The good news is, you get to repopulate the earth. The bad news, you get to do it with me. 1.4370 0.06387 119 81 24 14
345 Something tells me the bus isn't coming. 1.4370 0.05924 119 77 32 10
346 I think we should see other people, assuming we can find some. 1.4322 0.06193 118 79 27 12
347 Well it drained the swamp. 1.4322 0.06423 118 81 23 14
348 At least he won't be reelected. 1.4322 0.06645 118 83 19 16
349 Okay, maybe I should have read the instructions. 1.4322 0.06193 118 79 27 12
350 So...are you single? 1.4322 0.06075 118 78 29 11
351 This is going to create tremendous jobs in the construction industry. 1.4322 0.05955 118 77 31 10
352 Well, it looks like we have time to talk now 1.4322 0.06309 118 80 25 13
353 Well, you said you wouldn't marry me unless I was the last man on Earth. 1.4322 0.05955 118 77 31 10
354 Well, you have to admit he did a lot in his first 100 days! 1.4322 0.06645 118 83 19 16
355 Well, this is your chance to say, 'I told you so'. 1.4322 0.06423 118 81 23 14
356 Thank Goodness we finally have the place to ourselves! 1.4322 0.06645 118 83 19 16
357 "Korea's missiles are overrated" he Tweeted. 1.4322 0.06535 118 82 21 15
358 And you were worried about a second term. 1.4322 0.06645 118 83 19 16
359 Well, as it turns out, I am the last man on earth... 1.4322 0.06075 118 78 29 11
360 Have you changed your mind now that I AM the last man? 1.4322 0.06193 118 79 27 12
361 I think it's an appropriate time to talk about our future. 1.4310 0.05506 116 72 38 6
362 I wonder what day two of the Trump presidency is going to be like... 1.4310 0.06270 116 78 26 12
363 To make a country great again, sometimes you need to start from scratch. 1.4310 0.06150 116 77 28 11
364 Well Linda, now I am the last man on Earth. 1.4310 0.06389 116 79 24 13
365 I'm moving out. 1.4310 0.06389 116 79 24 13
366 They say it started as a tweet. 1.4310 0.06842 116 83 16 17
367 "It's only four years," they said. "He can't possibly do that much," they said. 1.4310 0.06732 116 82 18 16
368 Say what you will, at least he didn't have a private e-mail server. 1.4310 0.06619 116 81 20 15
369 Well, that was an interesting 4 years 1.4310 0.06842 116 83 16 17
370 I heard what sounded like a 'tweet', and then a tremendous boom, tremendous boom. 1.4310 0.06732 116 82 18 16
371 First we rebuild a Starbucks. We'll figure out the rest from there. 1.4310 0.06270 116 78 26 12
372 So, is this your first apocalypse? 1.4310 0.06026 116 76 30 10
373 At least this hurts his chances for a second term! 1.4310 0.06026 116 76 30 10
374 So what's the worst thing that can happen? 1.4310 0.05901 116 75 32 9
375 I guess your mother won't be staying with us after all. 1.4310 0.06150 116 77 28 11
376 Maryanne, do you remember when you said, 'Maybe if you were the last guy on earth.'?" 1.4310 0.06150 116 77 28 11
377 And then Kim Jong-un tweeted, "Meryl Streep isn't overrated, Helen Mirren is overrated." 1.4310 0.06150 116 77 28 11
378 I was wrong, you were right. Happy? 1.4310 0.06505 116 80 22 14
379 ...and it's only been three days since the Inauguration! 1.4310 0.06505 116 80 22 14
380 On the plus side, our lawyers won't be getting anything either. 1.4310 0.06270 116 78 26 12
381 No wonder we could get tickets. 1.4310 0.06026 116 76 30 10
382 Fake news--all of it. 1.4286 0.06599 119 84 19 16
383 And I say we should reserve judgement till we see what he does in his second hundred days. 1.4286 0.06490 119 83 21 15
384 Otherwise, it was a great 100 days. 1.4286 0.06152 119 80 27 12
385 Seriously? Not even if I really was the last man on earth? 1.4286 0.05794 119 77 33 9
386 I told you the inauguration would be a blast 1.4286 0.06490 119 83 21 15
387 On the bright side; no more tweets. 1.4286 0.06490 119 83 21 15
388 So, this is what 'Great Again' looks like. 1.4286 0.06599 119 84 19 16
389 You can cross de-cluttering off your to-do list. 1.4286 0.05794 119 77 33 9
390 Well, it does make the divorce settlement easier. 1.4261 0.06425 115 79 23 13
391 Yeah, but what about Hillary's emails? 1.4261 0.06425 115 79 23 13
392 So, repopulate? 1.4261 0.06305 115 78 25 12
393 We'll always have the Pre-Apocalypse. 1.4261 0.06183 115 77 27 11
394 I suppose this is all my fault, too. 1.4261 0.06183 115 77 27 11
395 Think harder! I'm sure you can find a way to blame me for this. 1.4261 0.05931 115 75 31 9
396 See? I told you that he had a foreign policy. 1.4261 0.06183 115 77 27 11
397 If Facebook still existed, I'd unfriend you. 1.4261 0.06425 115 79 23 13
398 I heard it's just fake news 1.4261 0.06305 115 78 25 12
399 Is it not our duty to at least try to repopulate the earth? 1.4261 0.06059 115 76 29 10
400 Don't you get it? I really am the last man on earth 1.4261 0.06183 115 77 27 11
401 Honey, you're overreacting. It's not the end of the world. 1.4261 0.06305 115 78 25 12
402 So...can I get you a brick or anything? 1.4261 0.06183 115 77 27 11
403 Ok, NOW we can make America great again. 1.4261 0.06543 115 80 21 14
404 "I wonder what he tweeted this time". 1.4261 0.06884 115 83 15 17
405 Would it help if I said I'm sorry. 1.4261 0.06305 115 78 25 12
406 Okay, in retrospect maybe he did show signs of self-serving narcissistic megalomania. 1.4261 0.06994 115 84 13 18
407 Mind if I smoke? 1.4261 0.06059 115 76 29 10
408 I suppose you'll find some way to blame this all on me. 1.4261 0.05801 115 74 33 8
409 Aside from this, how have you been? 1.4261 0.06305 115 78 25 12
410 Great enough for you? 1.4261 0.06772 115 82 17 16
411 Do you think it was that last tweet? 1.4261 0.06305 115 78 25 12
412 You looked younger in your picture. 1.4211 0.06698 114 81 18 15
413 So it's a twenty minute wait for a table. It's not the end of the world. 1.4211 0.06698 114 81 18 15
414 So much for the Samsung Galaxy. 1.4211 0.06462 114 79 22 13
415 I still say there is no proof that this was caused by human activity. 1.4211 0.06341 114 78 24 12
416 I suppose you're going to say 'I told you so'. 1.4211 0.05962 114 75 30 9
417 Now that we ARE the last two people on earth, have you reconsidered? 1.4211 0.06581 114 80 20 14
418 He did this with a tweet? 1.4211 0.06698 114 81 18 15
419 On the bright side, it is unusally warm for this time of year. 1.4211 0.05962 114 75 30 9
420 But I am the last man on earth. 1.4211 0.06581 114 80 20 14
421 Perhaps you would like to re-think your position now that I actually am the last man on Earth. 1.4211 0.06217 114 77 26 11
422 Do you still think inviting both sets of parents was a good idea? 1.4174 0.06416 115 80 22 13
423 He may have made an error in judgment, but we still don't know what was in Hillary's emails. 1.4174 0.06416 115 80 22 13
424 It looked much different in the brochure. 1.4174 0.06049 115 77 28 10
425 His Twitter feed says it didn't happen. 1.4159 0.06619 113 80 19 14
426 On the plus side, we repealed Obamacare. 1.4159 0.05859 113 74 31 8
427 Yeah, but what about those emails? 1.4159 0.06499 113 79 21 13
428 Your place or mine? 1.4159 0.06376 113 78 23 12
429 Well you got your wish - no more Sunday football. 1.4159 0.06251 113 77 25 11
430 I'm willing to concede they probably should've taken away his Twitter. 1.4159 0.05859 113 74 31 8
431 And to think he isn't officially President yet.... 1.4159 0.06968 113 83 13 17
432 NOW, how's Canada looking to you? 1.4159 0.06251 113 77 25 11
433 Not even if I was the only man on earth, huh? 1.4159 0.06499 113 79 21 13
434 I still say we should give him a chance. 1.4159 0.05993 113 75 29 9
435 At least we won! 1.4159 0.06376 113 78 23 12
436 And you said we wouldn't survive a Trump presidency! 1.4159 0.06619 113 80 19 14
437 Who'd have thought we could afford a place in Manhattan? 1.4159 0.06619 113 80 19 14
438 Turns out elections DO have consequences. 1.4159 0.06251 113 77 25 11
439 Well, I don't smell gas anymore. 1.4159 0.06619 113 80 19 14
440 But I really am the last man on earth. 1.4159 0.06619 113 80 19 14
441 I just don’t understand how this could have happened. He was so good on ‘The Apprentice’! 1.4159 0.06376 113 78 23 12
442 Do you still think we should start seeing other people? 1.4159 0.06499 113 79 21 13
443 Considering the circumstances, I'm willing to waive my broker's fee. 1.4159 0.06376 113 78 23 12
444 You don't look like your profile picture either. 1.4159 0.06619 113 80 19 14
445 I wonder if we'll get our security deposit back. 1.4159 0.05440 113 71 37 5
446 The wall looks tremendous, though. 1.4159 0.06499 113 79 21 13
447 I think you should stop trying to cook. 1.4159 0.06968 113 83 13 17
448 Come to think of it, maybe I didn't turn the gas off. 1.4159 0.06376 113 78 23 12
449 You just had to go and buy the Samsung Galaxy Note 7. 1.4159 0.06499 113 79 21 13
450 Well, the Earth isn’t going to repopulate itself. 1.4159 0.06376 113 78 23 12
451 At least it's a dry heat. 1.4159 0.06123 113 76 27 10
452 My ex-place or yours? 1.4159 0.06123 113 76 27 10
453 Saturday the 21st. Why? 1.4159 0.06251 113 77 25 11
454 At least he's off Twitter. 1.4159 0.06376 113 78 23 12
455 Well, we made it through day 1.... 1.4159 0.06251 113 77 25 11
456 At least we're a nuclear family again. 1.4159 0.05859 113 74 31 8
457 So...other than that, how was your day? 1.4159 0.06123 113 76 27 10
458 At least he didn't use his own email server. 1.4159 0.06619 113 80 19 14
459 Those four years sure flew by, didn't they? 1.4159 0.06619 113 80 19 14
460 Yeah but still... the e-mails! 1.4118 0.07153 102 74 14 14
461 To be fair Linda, Russia insulted us first. 1.4107 0.06156 112 76 26 10
462 Well, I'm the last man earth. What do you say? 1.4107 0.06156 112 76 26 10
463 I guess this makes you the new Eve. 1.4107 0.06024 112 75 28 9
464 They're already rebuilding the Starbucks. 1.4107 0.06156 112 76 26 10
465 Let's see if the cockroaches are alive. 1.4107 0.05888 112 74 30 8
466 I can't believe you locked the keys inside the bunker. 1.4107 0.06536 112 79 20 13
467 I thought we were going to be O.K. but then Putin tweeted something about his hair. 1.4107 0.06412 112 78 22 12
468 So, I forgot your birthday. It's not the end of the world. 1.4107 0.06285 112 77 24 11
469 We'll "repopulate the world" when I don't have a headache. 1.4107 0.06285 112 77 24 11
470 Okay, so maybe it is time to get rid of the electoral college. 1.4107 0.06156 112 76 26 10
471 They're saying it’s a buyer’s market though. 1.4107 0.05750 112 73 32 7
472 Well Louise, I think now we know what that button does. 1.4107 0.06658 112 80 18 14
473 Give it another 100 days. 1.4107 0.06156 112 76 26 10
474 Really! You've never made a mistake? 1.4107 0.06285 112 77 24 11
475 Maybe we should have voted. 1.4107 0.06536 112 79 20 13
476 My ex-place or yours? 1.4107 0.06024 112 75 28 9
477 Well...he did say it was going to be "huuuge". 1.4091 0.06496 110 77 21 12
478 Its hard to believe the inauguration was just last night... 1.4091 0.06623 110 78 19 13
479 At least we still have Obamacare. 1.4091 0.06234 110 75 25 10
480 But I AM the last man in the world. 1.4091 0.06496 110 77 21 12
481 I'm the Senate. You be the House. 1.4091 0.06623 110 78 19 13
482 And I suppose this is my fault too? 1.4091 0.06234 110 75 25 10
483 I know when you say "I'm fine" like that, it's not actually fine. 1.4091 0.06098 110 74 27 9
484 And my mother is still coming. 1.4091 0.06098 110 74 27 9
485 Give the guy a chance. The media always blows things out of proportion. 1.4091 0.05960 110 73 29 8
486 I guess it's up to us, Eve. 1.4091 0.06366 110 76 23 11
487 He said it was going to be huge. 1.4091 0.06366 110 76 23 11
488 I think Tripadvisor has been hacked. 1.4091 0.06496 110 77 21 12
489 Trump tweeted that we won. 1.4091 0.06366 110 76 23 11
490 If only we met under different circumstances. 1.4091 0.05960 110 73 29 8
491 Even though I AM the last man on Earth? 1.4091 0.06234 110 75 25 10
492 And if I WAS the last man on earth? 1.4091 0.05818 110 72 31 7
493 But it pales in comparison to that private email server. 1.4091 0.06496 110 77 21 12
494 I too enjoy long romantic walks through the apocalypse 1.4091 0.06496 110 77 21 12
495 Alright, I did leave the oven on. 1.4091 0.06098 110 74 27 9
496 At least they repealed Obamacare. 1.4091 0.06234 110 75 25 10
497 I don't care if you are the only person left; you don't look anything like your photo 1.4091 0.06234 110 75 25 10
498 I thought Aleppo was one of the Marx brothers. 1.4091 0.06623 110 78 19 13
499 That was one hell of an inauguration 1.4091 0.06366 110 76 23 11
500 Do hou have any plans for tonight ? 1.4091 0.06623 110 78 19 13
501 It’s amazing what some people can accomplish with just 140 characters. 1.4091 0.06623 110 78 19 13
502 Well, the roaches ARE dead, aren't they? 1.4091 0.05818 110 72 31 7
503 This certainly simplifies the divorce settlement. 1.4091 0.06098 110 74 27 9
504 Now you've ruined everything. 1.4071 0.06609 113 81 18 14
505 Remind me again why the electoral college is so great. 1.4071 0.06365 113 79 22 12
506 I miss the old neighborhood. 1.4071 0.06365 113 79 22 12
507 So, was that the first time you used a pressure cooker ?? 1.4071 0.05711 113 74 32 7
508 I dunno. What do you want to do? 1.4071 0.06112 113 77 26 10
509 Everything was fine until Trump tweeted, "Russian arsenal highly overrated. Putin #sad!" 1.4071 0.06365 113 79 22 12
510 Looks like I'm the last man. Still no? 1.4071 0.06488 113 80 20 13
511 I guess that was Trump's last tweet. 1.4071 0.06488 113 80 20 13
512 I expected you to choose divorce, not the nuclear option. 1.4071 0.06365 113 79 22 12
513 So...what do you like to do for fun? 1.4054 0.06054 111 75 27 9
514 OK, Gladys, now that I actually AM the last man on earth, what was it you were saying? 1.4054 0.06054 111 75 27 9
515 So, would you like to hear my side? 1.4054 0.06319 111 77 23 11
516 On the bright side, the swamp's been drained. 1.4040 0.06722 99 69 20 10
517 You lost, we won. Get over it 1.4037 0.06912 109 80 14 15
518 Personally, I'm surprised. I thought we'd get a month out of him before this would happen." 1.4037 0.06401 109 76 22 11
519 It's post-apocalyptic, not dystopian. 1.4037 0.06533 109 77 20 12
520 How's that protest vote feeling now? 1.4037 0.06533 109 77 20 12
521 All right. You win. 1.4037 0.06533 109 77 20 12
522 So much for the first 100 days! 1.4037 0.06401 109 76 22 11
523 Maybe next Christmas we don't host both our families. 1.4037 0.06533 109 77 20 12
524 So I said, so he won, what's the worst that could happen? 1.4037 0.06912 109 80 14 15
525 My first dates usually don't go this well. 1.4037 0.06267 109 75 24 10
526 I told you set the oven at 350, but noooooo.... 1.4037 0.06788 109 79 16 14
527 I can make this up to you. 1.4037 0.06533 109 77 20 12
528 ' Illusionist overreach.' "YOU THINK? " 1.4037 0.07153 109 82 10 17
529 You voted for him. 1.4037 0.05990 109 73 28 8
530 I told you it was real news. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
531 You can keep the house. 1.4037 0.05990 109 73 28 8
532 What do you mean not if I was the last man on earth? I am the last man on earth. 1.4037 0.06533 109 77 20 12
533 Oh, that's just fake news -- we're definitely great again. 1.4037 0.06401 109 76 22 11
534 Okay, I gave him a chance. Now what? 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
535 So, the good news is that you are insured. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
536 That was some inauguration! 1.4037 0.05990 109 73 28 8
537 Okay. You were right. 1.4037 0.06661 109 78 18 13
538 Looks like one of us will have the last word after all. 1.4037 0.06661 109 78 18 13
539 I'll have to check but I believe State Farm. 1.4037 0.06267 109 75 24 10
540 Remind me of the things you would do if I was the last man on earth. 1.4000 0.06611 110 79 18 13
541 So how long have you been on the post-apocalyptic dating site? 1.4000 0.06085 110 75 26 9
542 Selfie? 1.4000 0.06221 110 76 24 10
543 You just had to touch the red button. 1.3981 0.06162 108 74 25 9
544 I think it's best I leave the cooking to you from now on. 1.3981 0.06301 108 75 23 10
545 I'm still not sleeping with you. 1.3981 0.06437 108 76 21 11
546 Those four years really flew by. 1.3981 0.06700 108 78 17 13
547 I know, but what about her emails. 1.3981 0.06570 108 77 19 12
548 Melania thought it was an eyesore. 1.3981 0.06301 108 75 23 10
549 I don't know. What do you wanna do? 1.3981 0.06301 108 75 23 10
550 Did you unplug the iron? 1.3981 0.06020 108 73 27 8
551 I'm telling you, this "nuclear war" is fake news fabricated by the liberal media. 1.3981 0.06828 108 79 15 14
552 I asked you not to hit control-alt-delete. 1.3981 0.06301 108 75 23 10
553 Tweeting "you don't have the guts to push the button" may have been a little impulsive. 1.3981 0.06570 108 77 19 12
554 Oh and I suppose Hillary would have done better. 1.3981 0.06301 108 75 23 10
555 All in all, I think the Inauguration went well. 1.3981 0.06162 108 74 25 9
556 Fine, but Obama is the second-worst. 1.3981 0.06570 108 77 19 12
557 I think I hear the smoke alarm. 1.3981 0.06162 108 74 25 9
558 The human race is in trouble; I've had a vasectomy. 1.3981 0.06570 108 77 19 12
559 How about Hillary's emails though? 1.3981 0.06700 108 78 17 13
560 Well, you were the one who said you wanted to start over. 1.3981 0.05725 108 71 31 6
561 Don't worry. He'll Make Armageddon Great Again. 1.3981 0.06828 108 79 15 14
562 Don't worry. The House republicans will rein him in any day now. 1.3981 0.06828 108 79 15 14
563 Next time, don't ask them to warm up the croissant. 1.3981 0.06437 108 76 21 11
564 Yes, I voted for change, why do you ask? 1.3981 0.06700 108 78 17 13
565 What makes you so sure we missed the last bus? 1.3981 0.06162 108 74 25 9
566 No regrets whatsoever! Have you forgotten all the emails she deleted? 1.3981 0.06954 108 80 13 15
567 I'm still convinced this is just more fake news. 1.3981 0.06570 108 77 19 12
568 OK, fine. I guess in hindsight her emails weren't that bad. 1.3981 0.06301 108 75 23 10
569 Who knew Meryl Streep had nukes? 1.3981 0.06570 108 77 19 12
570 I don't know. What do you want to do tonight? 1.3981 0.05875 108 72 29 7
571 According to eHarmony, we have a lot in common. 1.3981 0.06828 108 79 15 14
572 Yes I'm sure I turned the stove off! 1.3981 0.05725 108 71 31 6
573 All I'm saying is you may have overreacted. 1.3981 0.06162 108 74 25 9
574 Still, no. 1.3981 0.06020 108 73 27 8
575 Yeah but we won. 1.3981 0.06301 108 75 23 10
576 I assumed it was microwave safe. 1.3981 0.06570 108 77 19 12
577 Speaking of languages, how's your Russian? 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
578 So, is America Great Again yet? 1.3945 0.06388 109 77 21 11
579 Do you still want to argue about who gets the house? 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
580 At least we got rid of Obamacare. 1.3945 0.06520 109 78 19 12
581 Well, our decluttering issue has been resolved. 1.3925 0.05751 107 71 30 6
582 'Just give him a chance' you said. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
583 I guess "till death do us part" still applies. 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
584 I still like that he says what's on his mind, though 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
585 I think the first thing we should do is repopulate the planet. 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
586 How was traffic? 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
587 This is not the change I voted for. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
588 Apparently we won. 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
589 Why is it always my fault? 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
590 This would be the week I make finalist in The New Yorker reverse caption contest! 1.3925 0.06996 107 80 12 15
591 Are we Great Again yet? 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
592 So much for the smooth transition of power..... 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
593 Okay. This time maybe I did ruin everything. 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
594 Your rubble or mine? 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
595 I still want a divorce, Carl. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
596 I'm pretty sure we can make it great again... 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
597 Fine! Next time we'll call the electrician. 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
598 You know, it's not the end of the world. 1.3925 0.06739 107 78 16 13
599 I'd hate to see a category 5 tweetstorm. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
600 Is America great yet? 1.3925 0.06739 107 78 16 13
601 You did say if I was the last man standing.... 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
602 Is this a bad time to talk? 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
603 So...How's that "Make America Great Again" thing working out for you so far? 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
604 I'm guessing we won't be seeing our luggage anytime soon.... 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
605 Now you understood why you don't put metal in a microwave. 1.3925 0.06739 107 78 16 13
606 On a totally different topic, how about if we let women run things for a while? 1.3925 0.06739 107 78 16 13
607 I guess it depends on your definition of "great". 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
608 Your hair looks particularly lovely this morning. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
609 You're the one who pulled my finger. 1.3925 0.06739 107 78 16 13
610 You did say "if you were the last man on Earth..." 1.3925 0.06739 107 78 16 13
611 You ruin everything. 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
612 So, how do you feel about long walks in the rain, cuddling, and hoarding canned goods? 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
613 Now that I really am the last man on earth, have you reconsidered? 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
614 Don't look at me! I voted for Clinton! 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
615 Do you live around here? 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
616 Oh,like Hillary's first 100 days would have gone any smoother! 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
617 I'm just not feeling post-apocalyptic yet. 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
618 At least there will be no more tweets. 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
619 When I said to nuke it, I meant for you to use the microwave. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
620 Now can I talk? 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
621 At least now we won't have to build a Wall. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
622 It's not the end of the world. 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
623 Take out for dinner? 1.3925 0.06739 107 78 16 13
624 Mistakes were made. 1.3925 0.06472 107 76 20 11
625 Do you happen to have a harmonica? 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
626 Well then, day one of the Trump Presidency wasn't so bad, eh? 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
627 Yes, I am happy we're great again. 1.3922 0.06705 102 73 18 11
628 I know I said I'd only date you if you are the last man on earth, but.... 1.3889 0.06687 108 79 16 13
629 He'll act more presidential after the inauguration. 1.3889 0.06005 108 74 26 8
630 Trump. Why do you ask? 1.3868 0.06779 106 78 15 13
631 Next year, we are using my travel agent. 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
632 See, I told you he personally responds to every tweet. 1.3868 0.06369 106 75 21 10
633 So...is this your first stab at post-apocalyptic dating? 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
634 Check twitter 1.3868 0.06910 106 79 13 14
635 Yeah, but Hillary's emails. 1.3868 0.06645 106 77 17 12
636 So. Are you still optimistic? 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
637 Do you smell gas? 1.3861 0.06129 101 69 25 7
638 Happy with your level playing field? 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
639 Well... THAT could have gone better. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
640 Mistakes were made. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
641 We haven't had an argument like that in quite a while 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
642 I still feel that I need to date other women. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
643 Would it have killed you to have left the tag on the damn pillow? 1.3846 0.06737 104 76 16 12
644 I should have voted. 1.3846 0.06874 104 77 14 13
645 So I suppose you're thinking this is my fault. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
646 I read in your profile that nothing fazes you. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
647 I used to know a good Italian place near here. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
648 Too bad about that typo on twitter. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
649 well, there goes the neighborhood. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
650 Did you cancel the paper? 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
651 Next time launch codes should be longer than a tweet. 1.3846 0.06737 104 76 16 12
652 Okay, so that's decluttering done. What's step two? 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
653 Any chance this is fake news? 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
654 I don't care if I am the last man on Earth, I'm still gay. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
655 OK. So having both sets of in-laws come for the holidays wasn't the greatest idea. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
656 Okay, we're in agreement: No snakes, no apples. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
657 Do you live around here? 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
658 At least we're out of the house. 1.3846 0.05685 104 69 30 5
659 There you go again. Always blowing things up out of proportion! 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
660 But the good news is, I finally found something that works on bedbugs. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
661 Next time, can I just call an electrician? 1.3846 0.05847 104 70 28 6
662 I told you I thought I smelled gas. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
663 No thanks, I'm gay. 1.3846 0.06874 104 77 14 13
664 That's the last time we invite both our families on the same night! 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
665 Do you still want to wait for Godot? 1.3846 0.06874 104 77 14 13
666 'Just another inauguration,' you kept telling me. 'What could possibly go wrong?' 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
667 We were warned, yes, but it was fake warned. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
668 Satisfied? 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
669 Well, you said you wanted to get rid of the clutter. 1.3846 0.05847 104 70 28 6
670 When you cross your arms like that I think that we're not going to re-populate the planet. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
671 Nobody said being great again would be easy. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
672 Maybe these intelligence briefings could have been useful, after all. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
673 Didn't you wonder why the air fare was so cheap? 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
674 Alright, maybe Trump wasn't the best choice. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
675 Well Mr. "Just Give Trump a Chance," you're awfully quiet today. 1.3846 0.06737 104 76 16 12
676 Told ya. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
677 All I'm saying is I think a cooking class could be helpful... 1.3846 0.06737 104 76 16 12
678 All this because of a stupid tweet! 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
679 So, what did you think of the inauguration? 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
680 Well, you voted for change. Happy? 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
681 He thought he hit the button to send a tweet, but obviously he was wrong. 1.3846 0.06737 104 76 16 12
682 Well, he did keep some parts of the Affordable Care Act. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
683 For the last time, go see a gastroenterologist. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
684 We'll get along better if we never discuss who voted for who. 1.3832 0.06034 107 74 25 8
685 Let me just remind you that YOU voted for him too! 1.3810 0.05958 105 72 26 7
686 Next time you think you smell gas, tell me. 1.3810 0.06110 105 73 24 8
687 For my online dates, I always meet in a public place. 1.3810 0.06110 105 73 24 8
688 Crazy how we keep getting set up on Match. 1.3786 0.06188 103 72 23 8
689 And I suppose this is my fault isn't it? 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
690 If we can make it here, we can make it anywhere. 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
691 Okay, you can have the house. 1.3786 0.06915 103 77 13 13
692 OK, next year we'll go where you want. 1.3786 0.06489 103 74 19 10
693 Should we start repopulating? 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
694 Still, what's the worst that can happen? 1.3786 0.06033 103 71 25 7
695 At least 2016 is over. 1.3786 0.05873 103 70 27 6
696 Yes, there is time now, but I have a headache. 1.3786 0.06188 103 72 23 8
697 It was a great apocalypse. Huge! 1.3786 0.06033 103 71 25 7
698 I'll admit that my support of the Electoral College is starting to wane. 1.3786 0.06188 103 72 23 8
699 Ok, I should've read the manual! 1.3786 0.06033 103 71 25 7
700 We'll always have Paris... 1.3786 0.06188 103 72 23 8
701 Oh what, like Hillary would have been any better? 1.3786 0.06634 103 75 17 11
702 The timing may be bad, but I want a divorce. 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
703 Well at least America's great again. 1.3786 0.06489 103 74 19 10
704 On the plus side, I was able to drop the cable company. 1.3786 0.06188 103 72 23 8
705 Shiela was talking about getting a group together to reinvent the wheel. 1.3786 0.06033 103 71 25 7
706 Yes, but without the internet how can I be certain you are the last man on Earth? 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
707 I was hoping to surprise you with dinner. 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
708 That's the last time I try to give the cat a pill! 1.3786 0.06634 103 75 17 11
709 They said not to try it at home 1.3786 0.06915 103 77 13 13
710 I always wondered what a level playing field would look like. 1.3786 0.06033 103 71 25 7
711 Just what make you think I did not read the directions. 1.3786 0.06776 103 76 15 12
712 Remember what you said you'd do only if I was the last man on earth. Well... 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
713 Did you remember to cancel the paper 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
714 I like you, but not 'last night on earth' like you.' 1.3786 0.06634 103 75 17 11
715 Congratulations, Agnes, you prattled on til doomsday. 1.3786 0.06634 103 75 17 11
716 Well, we made it. The 0.1 per cent. 1.3750 0.06436 104 75 19 10
717 Are you still a Republican? 1.3750 0.06720 104 77 15 12
718 So now do you believe that elections have consequences? 1.3750 0.06436 104 75 19 10
719 It doesn't seem great again. 1.3725 0.06671 102 75 16 11
720 What really upsets me is that I can't find my 'Make America Great Again' cap. 1.3725 0.06671 102 75 16 11
721 To think it all began with a Tweet. 1.3725 0.06671 102 75 16 11
722 So, I guess that makes me the last man on earth. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
723 He's been tweeting again. 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
724 Okay, maybe that vote for Trump wasn't the best decision of my life ... 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
725 We should have sold when we had the chance. 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
726 Any idea where the Dow closed today? 1.3725 0.06671 102 75 16 11
727 Do you remember whether our deductible was $500 or $1,000? 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
728 It looked nicer in the brochure. 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
729 I still think couples counseling would have been worth a try. 1.3725 0.05899 102 70 26 6
730 So I guess I shouldn't ask what's for dinner? 1.3725 0.06671 102 75 16 11
731 At least Tinder still works. 1.3725 0.05899 102 70 26 6
732 Are we eating out, again?! 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
733 Have you seen my "Make America great again" hat? 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
734 He said he liked Putin, he didn't say Putin liked him. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
735 Well, Hillary would've been worse. 1.3725 0.06815 102 76 14 12
736 Still think your protest vote was worth it? 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
737 On the brighter side, Bernie is running in 2020! 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
738 Well now I AM the last man on earth, so whaddya say? 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
739 Want to start a post-nuclear family? 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
740 Maybe this one time, we should have just gone to bed angry. 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
741 Don't look at me. I voted for Hillary. 1.3725 0.06815 102 76 14 12
742 Otherwise, how was your day? 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
743 Get over it. Everybody farts. 1.3725 0.06956 102 77 12 13
744 It's kind of boring with no zombies. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
745 You up for repopulating the earth? 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
746 Well that escalated quickly. 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
747 So, what stage of "make America great again" is this ? 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
748 Your place or mine? 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
749 Maybe her private email server wasn't so bad after all. 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
750 It doesn't matter what war zone I take you to, you're never satisfied. 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
751 Of course I'd vote for him again. 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
752 I hear the Waffle House is still open. 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
753 Actually, I think we are still in Kansas. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
754 What a coincidence - I am the last man on earth. 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
755 Fake apocalypse. 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
756 Are we still doing brunch? 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
757 Is your wifi working? 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
758 A smaller America will be easier to make great again. 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
759 On the other hand, I hear his beautiful wall is doing great. 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
760 ....and then the President started mocking Kim Jong Il and I turned off the TV and fell asleep. 1.3725 0.06956 102 77 12 13
761 Well, it's only four years 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
762 Look on the bright side... You say we never get out of the house. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
763 I don't mean to brag, but I am the last man on Earth. 1.3725 0.06815 102 76 14 12
764 No, I don't think we'll get our deposit back. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
765 Don't give me that look. You voted for him, too. 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
766 I know the last thing you want to hear right now is 'I told you so.' 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
767 I suppose this is somehow all my fault? 1.3725 0.06815 102 76 14 12
768 This is why we can't have nice things. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
769 What's a nice girl like you doing in an apocalypse like this? 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
770 At least he didn't have a private server 1.3725 0.06815 102 76 14 12
771 No, I did not put metal in the microwave. 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
772 See, I told you not to put foil in the microwave. 1.3725 0.06671 102 75 16 11
773 I've decided to give up smoking. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
774 I don't know. Let's at least give him a chance. 1.3725 0.06524 102 74 18 10
775 No more 5 alarm chili 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
776 What do we do now that we're "great" again? 1.3689 0.06758 103 77 14 12
777 I've lived in Detroit all my life. Why do you ask? 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
778 Has it really been just six month since Ben Carson was confirmed? 1.3689 0.07168 103 80 8 15
779 It could be Russia, it could be China, it could be Donald sitting in his bed. 1.3689 0.06758 103 77 14 12
780 In retrospect I would have preferred a global warning. 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
781 It's not like it's the end of the world. 1.3689 0.05852 103 71 26 6
782 So, did you really mean that last-man-on-earth thing ? 1.3689 0.06616 103 76 16 11
783 Well, we've been wanting to become minimalists. 1.3689 0.05687 103 70 28 5
784 So, remember when you said, "Not if we were the last two people on earth?" 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
785 And we never saw the tax returns. 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
786 Well, I think you're overreacting. 1.3689 0.06013 103 72 24 7
787 Sorry. I didn't think he'd win. 1.3689 0.06758 103 77 14 12
788 Well, it was, "huuuge." 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
789 How many times do I have to say it, Helen? If I could go back and change my vote, I would. 1.3689 0.06169 103 73 22 8
790 So, has my one in a billion chance improved any? 1.3689 0.06169 103 73 22 8
791 Our carbon footprint can only get smaller now. 1.3689 0.05687 103 70 28 5
792 I blame the media 1.3689 0.06470 103 75 18 10
793 I apologize. I overreacted. 1.3689 0.05852 103 71 26 6
794 Care to take back that 'last man on Earth' comment? 1.3689 0.06616 103 76 16 11
795 Not even if I was the last man on earth? 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
796 I told you our marriage would survive. 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
797 So your lawyer wasn't bluffing. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
798 Now that we have cleared the air... 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
799 What difference does it make who left the oven on? 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
800 You realize, of course, that I am, in fact, the last person on earth. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
801 His tweet about this ought to be really good. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
802 I guess elections do have consequences. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
803 Now is the time to get in. 1.3663 0.06089 101 71 23 7
804 I feel like I am not getting enough credit for still being alive. 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
805 But what about her emails?!! 1.3663 0.06854 101 76 13 12
806 Are you happy now? 1.3663 0.06089 101 71 23 7
807 The drone delivery system still has a few bugs. 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
808 Sorry Arnold, I just don't see a future for us. 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
809 Where would you like to go for dinner? 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
810 'Nothing much. What's new with you?' 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
811 Hottest one-night-stand I'VE every experienced! 1.3663 0.06997 101 77 11 13
812 But at least he's not a career politician. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
813 Okay, you're right. Happy now? 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
814 Trumpageddon. 1.3663 0.06854 101 76 13 12
815 Martha, It could be the Russians or It could be a 400 pound guy in New Jersey. 1.3663 0.06708 101 75 15 11
816 I think we should keep looking. 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
817 And to think it all started with a tweet.... 1.3663 0.06854 101 76 13 12
818 Well, we solved that nasty immigrant problem! 1.3663 0.06708 101 75 15 11
819 What was it you said about my being the last man on earth? 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
820 On the bright side, we got out of dinner with The Petersons on Saturday. 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
821 "Well, it's been a blast". 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
822 Look what you did now, Frank. I told you not to remove the tag from the mattress. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
823 Heck of a tweet, huh? 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
824 I told you I was lactose intolerant. 1.3663 0.06708 101 75 15 11
825 Is that a new shade of lipstick? 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
826 So do I have your undivided attention now? 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
827 I'm wondering if this will have an effect on the mid-term elections. 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
828 All I did was tweet that our neighborhood went 100% for Hillary 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
829 You wanted a level playing field. 1.3663 0.05213 101 66 33 2
830 So we're agreed? We tell everyone we found it like this. 1.3663 0.06089 101 71 23 7
831 Alright already, yes, I should have read the instructions. 1.3663 0.06708 101 75 15 11
832 So what do you think of the 2nd amendment now? 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
833 This is not what I imagined "Great Again" would be like. 1.3663 0.06089 101 71 23 7
834 Pull my finger, he said. . . 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
835 Well, we finally have nothing left to talk about. 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
836 I guess this means your mother won't be staying with us anytime soon. 1.3663 0.06089 101 71 23 7
837 Okay, okay, I should have voted for her. 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
838 Don't blame me. YOU voted for him. 1.3663 0.06854 101 76 13 12
839 It still is a very walkable neighborhood. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
840 Ah. alone at last! 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
841 "Are you willing to reconsider now that I actually am the last man on Earth"? 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
842 A transfer of power always has some glitches. 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
843 Happy now? 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
844 Remember when I said I would not marry you if you were the last woman on earth? 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
845 Remember all those times you said, "Not if you were the last man on earth!"? 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
846 So this is great again. 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
847 At least he didn't use a private e-mail server. 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
848 Yeah, but Hillary would've been worse. 1.3663 0.06708 101 75 15 11
849 Fine, I'll say it. I'm sorry I voted for Trump. Feel better? 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
850 Oops, I guess we forgot to childproof the red button. 1.3663 0.06997 101 77 11 13
851 Look on the bright side. We still have each other. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
852 I said not even if we were the last two people on Earth. 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
853 I thought he was just gonna blow up Washington. 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
854 When you called me and said "there goes the neighborhood" I thought you meant.... 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
855 I just tweeted that his hair looks fake. 1.3663 0.06854 101 76 13 12
856 I still say I could never have voted for someone who used a private email server. 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
857 But what if I WERE the last man on Earth? 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
858 Would this be a good week to have your mother visit? 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
859 No wonder we could get tickets. 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
860 Yes, NOW it's appropriate to call it a meteorite. 1.3636 0.06804 99 74 14 11
861 The last thing I heard him say was, "What does this shiny button do?" 1.3636 0.06804 99 74 14 11
862 Well, apocalyptic change was one of his campaign promises... 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
863 Why is it MY job to change the batteries in the smoke detector? 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
864 Now that I'm the last man on earth... 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
865 You say tor-nay-do, I say tor-nah-do. 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
866 Still glad you voted for Trump? 1.3636 0.06804 99 74 14 11
867 Don't worry, President Trump said it wasn't the Russians 1.3636 0.06804 99 74 14 11
868 If this is repeal, where is replace? 1.3636 0.07100 99 76 10 13
869 Well, Is it great again? 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
870 Come to think of it, I did smell gas. 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
871 And now we make it great again. 1.3636 0.06650 99 73 16 10
872 I blame the media 1.3636 0.06650 99 73 16 10
873 Okay, you're right. I should have voted for Hillary. 1.3636 0.07100 99 76 10 13
874 The bus might be a little late today. 1.3636 0.05824 99 68 26 5
875 When you said you wanted us to start from scratch, this is not what I thought you meant. 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
876 Fake news! 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
877 Once we get a Starbucks, this neighborhood will be very desirable. 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
878 Please don't say "I told you so." 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
879 Well, the hotel's website was accurate about being 'close to all the action'... 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
880 April 29, 2017 "And this was just the first 100 days." 1.3636 0.06650 99 73 16 10
881 At least we were right.... 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
882 I didn't know making America Great Again meant starting from scratch. 1.3636 0.06650 99 73 16 10
883 I told you we should have moved to Canada! 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
884 Mainstream media got it wrong; Trump and Putin weren't as friendly as they thought. 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
885 At least we still have ObamaCare until the end of the year 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
886 That was close. 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
887 Frankly, my life is in ruins. 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
888 So, want to rethink that "last man on earth" crack yet? 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
889 It depends how you define 'great.' 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
890 Gary came by and got rid of the termites. 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
891 This therapy session couldn't have come at a better time. 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
892 Now is the nuclear winter of our discontent. 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
893 Well, at least we are out of debt. 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
894 Well, we'll always have Paris. 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
895 I assume you're going to say this is all my fault again. 1.3636 0.06804 99 74 14 11
896 And that's why you're supposed to use the TV remote, the surround-sound remote, and the Roku remote in the order I taught you. 1.3636 0.06650 99 73 16 10
897 No, we can't talk about this later. 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
898 And you said my vasectomy wouldn't be the end of the world. 1.3636 0.06650 99 73 16 10
899 Apparently the fallout from his latest tweet is, you know, actual fallout. 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
900 Do you regret not voting? 1.3636 0.06804 99 74 14 11
901 Well at least we won! 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
902 In fairness, it was my first time doing the laundry. 1.3636 0.06804 99 74 14 11
903 Go on. Say it. 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
904 I'd love to continue the human race with you but sorry, I think of you more as a friend. 1.3636 0.06650 99 73 16 10
905 Why do you say I never notice anything? 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
906 Did you remember to lock the door? 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
907 Apparently, we have excellent chemistry. 1.3608 0.06584 97 71 17 9
908 Of course I think we should give him another four years. 1.3600 0.06745 100 75 14 11
909 Okay, you're right. Next time I'll read the instructions. 1.3600 0.06745 100 75 14 11
910 It looks like Putin turned on him. 1.3600 0.06893 100 76 12 12
911 Your policy insures against the “zombie apocalypse”, not a regular apocalypse. 1.3600 0.06117 100 71 22 7
912 You win. 1.3600 0.06117 100 71 22 7
913 I guess we should have come to D.C. before the inauguration. 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
914 Well, now that I AM the last man on earth... 1.3600 0.06745 100 75 14 11
915 You're blowing this way out of proportion. 1.3600 0.06594 100 74 16 10
916 Well, that didn't take very long. 1.3600 0.06117 100 71 22 7
917 This is going to hurt his brand. 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
918 You're right. I should have removed the foil before putting it in the microwave. 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
919 I guess we're empty-nesters. 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
920 Once again, you've ruined everything. 1.3600 0.06594 100 74 16 10
921 No, really. You were my absolute first choice for the last person on Earth… 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
922 Fortunately, my 401(K) is maintained in the cloud. 1.3600 0.06117 100 71 22 7
923 It must have been the burrito. 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
924 Okay, I am now the last man on earth. How about it? 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
925 Hillary would've been worse. 1.3600 0.07038 100 77 10 13
926 I know. I know. But her e-mails . . . 1.3600 0.06594 100 74 16 10
927 On the plus side, he did greatly reduce unemployment. 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
928 Will your mother be joining us in our post-apocalyptic life? 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
929 It looked different on the resort website. 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
930 Gesundheit. 1.3600 0.06893 100 76 12 12
931 Yeah but her emails. 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
932 Look on the bright side. No more tweets. 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
933 OK OK Hillary was a better choice. 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
934 Okay, okay, you were right. I shouldn't have voted for him. 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
935 I told you our marriage could survive anything. 1.3600 0.06117 100 71 22 7
936 At least the election is finally over. 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
937 Not like it's the end of the world. 1.3600 0.05949 100 70 24 6
938 Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have any Grey Poupon? 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
939 Have you seen my glasses? 1.3600 0.06745 100 75 14 11
940 Hi. I'm Joe. I am an alcoholic. 1.3600 0.07038 100 77 10 13
941 On the bright side, there won't be anymore tweets. 1.3600 0.06594 100 74 16 10
942 My wife and I drove in yesterday for the Inauguration. 1.3600 0.06594 100 74 16 10
943 'You always said we had too much stuff.' 1.3579 0.06509 95 69 18 8
944 Well, I hope you're happy little Miss I'm-staying-at-home-and-refuse-to-vote-for-the-lesser-of-two-evils. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
945 I still say the emails were the most important issue. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
946 Do you still expect your mother for dinner on Tuesday? 1.3571 0.06842 98 74 13 11
947 Well, we did want to spend more time alone. 1.3571 0.05847 98 68 25 5
948 Well, it was great while it lasted. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
949 Don't worry - they're replacing it soon with something better. 1.3571 0.06842 98 74 13 11
950 You've always wanted an open floor plan. 1.3571 0.06024 98 69 23 6
951 Oh stop whining! It could have been a lot worse. He could have used a private email server. 1.3571 0.06842 98 74 13 11
952 OK, next time I'll vote. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
953 Maybe it's not as bad as it looks. Let's wait for the tweet. 1.3571 0.06994 98 75 11 12
954 Don't just say it was Russia. It could have been China or a 400-pound guy sitting on his bed. 1.3571 0.06024 98 69 23 6
955 One apocalypse is not the end of the world. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
956 I thought there'd be zombies. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
957 Before you say 'yes' or 'no,' Susan, I'd like to remind you that the alternative is human extinction. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
958 Sure, it may not seem important now, but I had to respond to his tweet. 1.3571 0.07143 98 76 9 13
959 Happened a lot sooner than I expected 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
960 At least we got rid of Obamacare. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
961 Bless you. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
962 Yeah, I know, but she mishandled her emails. 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
963 He won. She lost. Get over it. 1.3571 0.06842 98 74 13 11
964 What a news conference, and he isn't even President yet. 1.3571 0.06994 98 75 11 12
965 Okay, you were right. Should've moved to Canada. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
966 Us against the world. I distinctly remember you saying it. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
967 OK, maybe it was a self-indulgent vote. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
968 Yes, I'm sure I got the best seats available. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
969 Okay looking back maybe Trump wasn't the smartest choice... 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
970 Are you reconsidering your "last man on earth" proclamation? 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
971 'You must be Eve' 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
972 I'm guessing no second date? 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
973 It's a bit of a fixer upper. 1.3571 0.05847 98 68 25 5
974 I still want a divorce, 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
975 Don't look at me, I voted third-party. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
976 America was so overrated. Sad! 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
977 But no, you had to vote your conscience. 1.3571 0.06842 98 74 13 11
978 I guess Trump was wrong about being Putin's friend. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
979 If you didn't want to cook you should've just said 1.3571 0.06024 98 69 23 6
980 And we all thought Trump and Putin were going to get along 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
981 Now you can say "I told you so" 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
982 Remember when Obama was president? 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
983 You're entitled to half. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
984 The broker said its a neighborhood in transition... 1.3571 0.06024 98 69 23 6
985 I told you Ben Carson should not be in charge of HUD 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
986 Somewhere, somehow, someone's blaming this on Obama. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
987 You're the one who voted for change! 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
988 I told you he would get the economy booming! 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
989 I'm sure you are going to blame this on me too, right? 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
990 Well they can't blame us, we didn't even vote! 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
991 So now that I am the last man alive on earth, will you marry me? 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
992 I think you better lay low for a while, Meryl. 1.3571 0.06994 98 75 11 12
993 Don't worry, I hear Mexico is going to pay for it. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
994 President Trump said that the explosion was fake news so don't believe any of it. 1.3571 0.06842 98 74 13 11
995 Yes, I'm wearing THIS to an armageddon. 1.3571 0.06024 98 69 23 6
996 This is going to negatively affect his brand. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
997 So you're the last woman on earth. 1.3571 0.06994 98 75 11 12
998 What do you mean, if I didn't vote, I can't complain? 1.3571 0.06024 98 69 23 6
999 Problems? Yeah. But it's not the end of the world! 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1000 I guess the honeymoon's over. 1.3571 0.06994 98 75 11 12
1001 You forgot to change the nuclear codes, didn't you? 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
1002 Adam and Eve:The Next Generation 1.3571 0.06024 98 69 23 6
1003 Well, we made it to 2017. 1.3571 0.06024 98 69 23 6
1004 But the point is, we voted our conscience. 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
1005 You get half. 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
1006 But what about Hillary's emails? 1.3571 0.07143 98 76 9 13
1007 Frankly, I liked it better before they drained the swamp. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1008 I think we need to take a harder look at the Electoral College. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1009 I guess it's now up to us to make America great again. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
1010 You're right. Elections matter. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1011 To be fair, you did say I'm the last man on earth you'd go out with. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1012 Are we great yet? 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
1013 Yeah, but she's just not likable. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1014 You're out of excuses. I am the last man on earth. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
1015 Okay, you have my attention. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1016 So much for e-harmony. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1017 Sure, but what about her emails? 1.3535 0.06471 99 73 17 9
1018 On the bright side, rebuilding the nation will bring tons of blue collar jobs. 1.3535 0.06310 99 72 19 8
1019 Where was I? 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1020 So, do you think you'd vote for him, again? 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1021 Look on the bright side. Your mother won't be staying with us for the holidays. 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1022 So how to you feel now about that comment - "not if you were the last man on earth" ? 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1023 So.... how was your day? 1.3505 0.05870 97 68 24 5
1024 You did say we needed to downsize. 1.3505 0.05870 97 68 24 5
1025 Well, at least we didn't elect a woman President. 1.3505 0.06880 97 74 12 11
1026 He was the lesser of two evils, Martha! 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1027 Or maybe it was started by a 400 lb. guy sitting in his bed. 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1028 Well, what do you say? I am the last man on earth. 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1029 I think we should stop the newspaper. 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1030 I warned you about serving me cabbage rolls. 1.3505 0.06880 97 74 12 11
1031 I see you've gone with the nuclear option. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1032 Half-empty, I'd say. 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1033 Oh, like she would've been any better. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1034 I told you this would happen, but NOOOO... You said, "Let's give him a chance." 1.3505 0.06722 97 73 14 10
1035 Honey, you need to lay off the Mexican food. 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1036 Now is the time to test out your 'not if you were the last man on earth' theory 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1037 Is this your virtual reality or mine? 1.3505 0.05870 97 68 24 5
1038 Can I call you? 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1039 So you're going to blame me for this too? 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1040 All I said was it looks like you're putting on a little weight. 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1041 The service has been a little slow since the World as we knew it ended. 1.3505 0.06722 97 73 14 10
1042 He just tweeted that he is still friends with Putin. 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1043 How many times do I have to tell you? It was a protest vote! 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1044 After I insulted him, I thought he would just reply on Twitter! 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1045 The place looked better in the brochure. 1.3505 0.05684 97 67 26 4
1046 Well Eve, it looks like it's just you and me again. 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1047 I still want a divorce, 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1048 When I first heard about post-apocalyptic dating I was skeptical. 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1049 I'm guessing his latest tweet was a doozey. 1.3505 0.06722 97 73 14 10
1050 So, what did you do for living? 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1051 I'm still not voting for a woman as president. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1052 Okay, you were right. It WAS the end of the world. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1053 I told you the elections were not the end of the world. THIS is the end of the world. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1054 One person left on Earth and it has to be you 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1055 Have you seen my glasses? 1.3505 0.06722 97 73 14 10
1056 Yeah... But the Dow hit 50,000! 1.3505 0.06880 97 74 12 11
1057 How was I supposed to know he would tweet out the nuclear codes? 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1058 Don't look at me, you voted for him. 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1059 Let's first acknowledge that correlation does not imply causation. 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1060 Eve? 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1061 So much for Putin being our friend. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1062 Did you leave the burner on? 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1063 So will you go out with me NOW? 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1064 It looked better in the brochure. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1065 Good thing we elected "a builder." 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1066 I’m sure the second week of the Trump presidency will be better. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1067 I bet you think this is all my fault. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1068 Saying you can't cook would be an understatement. 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1069 Now let's make it great again. 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1070 We wanted change and I guess we got it. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1071 Come on, darling. It's not the end of the world. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1072 Any plans this weekend? 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1073 I thought your family would never leave. 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1074 So what do you want to do now? 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1075 But she had that email server... 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1076 Never underestimate the power of a tweet! 1.3469 0.06340 98 72 18 8
1077 Why are you always so negative? 1.3469 0.06171 98 71 20 7
1078 I think you overreacted. 1.3469 0.05998 98 70 22 6
1079 Why, specifically, don't you believe he made America great again? 1.3469 0.06663 98 74 14 10
1080 The brochure said ruins; it didn't say old ruins. 1.3469 0.06171 98 71 20 7
1081 Well, how was he supposed to respond to a Tweet like that? 1.3438 0.06758 96 73 13 10
1082 I swear, if you say 'I told you so...' 1.3438 0.06075 96 69 21 6
1083 It could be worse, it could be raining. 1.3438 0.06075 96 69 21 6
1084 You were the one who said: "Vote for him. What do we have to lose?" 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1085 What do you say now that I am the last man? 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1086 It's an open floor plan. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1087 So, thats a no? 1.3438 0.05702 96 67 25 4
1088 Somehow, "We still have each other" doesn't quite cut it. 1.3438 0.06075 96 69 21 6
1089 The agent said it's a great place to raze a family. 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1090 Well I'm not cleaning it up... 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1091 Yes, I still want the divorce. 1.3438 0.06075 96 69 21 6
1092 There's just not much left for us to talk about 1.3438 0.06075 96 69 21 6
1093 Okay, you were right. I was wrong. Must we fight about this for the next 4 years? 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1094 I told you the new president won't affect my life and I'm sticking to it. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1095 Well at least I got rid of the termites. 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1096 This is the last time you get to pick a President.... 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1097 It may not seem it, Delores, but I try to use my powers for good. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1098 I knew Obama should have taken the nuclear codes with him. 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1099 Yeah, but her emails, though... 1.3438 0.06758 96 73 13 10
1100 I'm starting to regret voting for Trump 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1101 Well that certainly takes care of the immigration issue. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1102 The dating site said you like kittens, quiet walks on the beach and Armageddon. 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1103 I wonder if this means we get to keep the library books. 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1104 You just HAD to push the red button, didn't you? 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1105 Do you still want half? 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1106 I rather expected this, but not so soon after the Inauguration. 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1107 We may be in the middle of a real estate boom. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1108 ...you renewed the insurance policy, right? 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1109 I told you it would take global annihilation for him to stop tweeting! 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1110 What were we arguing about again? 1.3438 0.05892 96 68 23 5
1111 At least he didn't use a private e-mail server. 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1112 Okay, it's 2:00, should we start the meeting or wait for the others? 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1113 Have you seen my keys? 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1114 Have you changed your mind, now that I am in fact the last man on Earth? 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1115 And on the second day of my administration.... 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1116 Now that I am the last man on earth, I take it your position has not changed? 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1117 Not much. How 'bout you? 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1118 I followed the instructions to install it. Mostly. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1119 'Let's go to your place instead' 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1120 You have smoldering eyes... 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1121 'Only if you were the last man on earth' is a figure of speech! 1.3438 0.07075 96 75 9 12
1122 Do you think all Trump news conferences will end like this one? 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1123 I told you not to run the vacuum and the washer at the same time. 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1124 Looks like we're ALL fired! 1.3438 0.05892 96 68 23 5
1125 " The radiation gives your face a pleasant glow". 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1126 Do you really need to see the prenup, Ted? 1.3438 0.06758 96 73 13 10
1127 Are you doing anything Friday evening? 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1128 I think he actually thought it was a real football. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1129 And you thought his inauguration would be boring 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1130 Now we know what that button was for. 1.3438 0.06426 96 71 17 8
1131 I can see Russia from my house. 1.3402 0.06535 97 73 15 9
1132 That went well. 1.3402 0.06369 97 72 17 8
1133 The brochure did say it was a no frills vacation. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1134 Don't look at me. I wrote in Mitt Romney. 1.3402 0.06369 97 72 17 8
1135 How is this is my fault? 1.3402 0.06022 97 70 21 6
1136 'What's the worst that can happen if we vote for Trump?'" THAT was your question??? 1.3402 0.06698 97 74 13 10
1137 If you’re free on Saturday, we should probably start repopulating the earth. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1138 Looks like we won't have to build that wall after all. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1139 My sister said they still have a tree in Cleveland. 1.3402 0.06369 97 72 17 8
1140 Still glad we gave him a chance? 1.3402 0.06369 97 72 17 8
1141 Where'd our waiter go? 1.3402 0.06022 97 70 21 6
1142 Did you remember to lock the door? 1.3402 0.06022 97 70 21 6
1143 I'm just glad the election's over. 1.3402 0.06698 97 74 13 10
1144 I hope you're satisfied now that America is great again. 1.3402 0.06535 97 73 15 9
1145 Fix your make up. CNN will be here any minute. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1146 Compared to 2017, 2016 wasn't so bad. 1.3402 0.06535 97 73 15 9
1147 Were you born here in Detroit? 1.3402 0.06856 97 75 11 11
1148 You have a certain glow about you. 1.3402 0.06535 97 73 15 9
1149 I am voting to "Make America again" 1.3402 0.06369 97 72 17 8
1150 Well, that simplifies things. 1.3402 0.05654 97 68 25 4
1151 Really? You're going with, "Even if you were the last man on earth?" 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1152 Fine, you plan the next vacation. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1153 So, Sister Kathleen, I guess the human race stops here. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1154 I still say it would have been worse if Hillary had won. 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1155 Did you remember to turn off the gas? 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1156 Do you think this will affect the bus schedule? 1.3368 0.06957 95 74 10 11
1157 You voted for him. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1158 Maybe location isn't everything... 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1159 Well, it looks like the fat lady has sung. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1160 Tell me again how the emails would have been worse. 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1161 The good news is........ I have started to see someone to discuss my anger issues. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1162 I thought he said he knew more than the generals. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1163 Don't say it 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1164 OK: We got under our desks. We put our arms over our heads. We did not look at the flash. Now what? 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1165 I thought you told me that losing my job is not the end of the world. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1166 Honestly, I though the inauguration went offer much better than expected. 1.3368 0.06957 95 74 10 11
1167 well, there goes the neighborhood. 1.3368 0.05720 95 67 24 4
1168 The brochure said there'd be ruins. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1169 but her email server... 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1170 Do you really want to talk about this now? 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1171 As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted... 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1172 I said 'Lunch', not 'Launch'. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1173 I know this isn't the best time to say this, Harriet, but I want a divorce. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1174 Next time we vote Democrat. 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1175 Well, at least he didn't use his own e-mail server. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1176 At least the views are unobstructed. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1177 Well I guess it could be worse. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1178 Now you can tell your mother we don't have room! 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1179 Now I can give you the really bad news. 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1180 I can't remember if I closed the garage door. 1.3368 0.05720 95 67 24 4
1181 I'm loyal, witty, and the last man on earth. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1182 What else was on your bucket list? 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1183 Glad the election's over. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1184 You were the one who wanted to switch to gas! 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1185 How was I supposed to know it wasn't a computer game? 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1186 Is this "de-cluttered" enough for you? 1.3368 0.05521 95 66 26 3
1187 OK, but she lied about her emails! 1.3368 0.06957 95 74 10 11
1188 Might as well introduce ourselves - I'm Destiny and I'm an alcoholic. 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1189 Ironically enough, my name is Adam. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1190 All the good restaurants are gone. 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1191 A penny for your thoughts. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1192 Now that you ARE the last person on earth, I still won't marry you. 1.3368 0.07116 95 75 8 12
1193 No, you said it couldn't possibly get any worse. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1194 ....and how many more years is he going to be President? 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1195 I never knew the difference between apocalypse and dystopia, till I married you. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1196 And just who am I supposed to ask for these so-called "directions"? 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1197 Yeah, but Hillary had emails. 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1198 On a good note, he promised to rebuild infrastructure 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1199 Do you come here often? 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1200 I never vote. It doesn't affect my life. 1.3368 0.06957 95 74 10 11
1201 I'd like to end things 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1202 Is that your second wish or your third? 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1203 I'm happier now that we've uncluttered. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1204 The sunrise tomorrow will be spectacular! 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1205 Okay Marjorie, you hunt and I'll gather but do you really think the glass ceiling should be our priority right now? 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1206 O.K. So, now I am the last man on earth. Will you change your mind? 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1207 Well, it looks as though I AM the last man on Earth. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1208 Well, so much for "let's give him a chance". 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1209 I can already feel it starting to gentrify. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1210 In his defense, you did make fun of his tiny hands. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1211 Relax, Sylvia. Things always get worse before they get great again. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1212 Yes, dear. In hindsight, I should have stopped using my Galaxy Note 7. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1213 So .... what's new? 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1214 And what about if I wasn't the last man on earth ? 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1215 So that’s what happens when you remove tags that say, ‘Do not remove.’ 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1216 Well, at least we don't have to argue over who gets the house now... 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1217 Even if the future of the human race literally depends on it? 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1218 I guess I was angrier than I realized. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1219 So, now that I AM the last man on Earth... 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1220 I guess Trump really showed Kim Jong Un! 1.3368 0.06957 95 74 10 11
1221 Repeat after me - 'America is Great Again' 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1222 I wonder if The Wall is still standing? 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1223 check out was at eleven anyway 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1224 You know when you said "not even if we were the last two people on Earth"? 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1225 I liked the book better 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1226 It's still a quiet street. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1227 I suppose it depends on your definition of "Great" 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1228 Ironically, it looks like Twitter is still working... 1.3368 0.05521 95 66 26 3
1229 That was a close one 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1230 Can I have the remote? 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1231 Is it too late for a reverse mortgage? 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1232 Well, it is called a reverse mortgage. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1233 Okay, you got that out of your system, now what? 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1234 Alexa: Call 9-1-1. 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1235 Will you go out with me now that I AM the last man on earth? 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1236 I knew we should have voted but you said, what's the worst that could happen. 1.3368 0.07116 95 75 8 12
1237 I don't care how big that spider was. This is ridiculous. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1238 But on the plus side, everything we now own gives us joy. 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1239 The name's Adam. And yours? 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1240 Well! I'm never pulling *your* finger again! 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1241 These aren't the ruins I had in mind. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1242 No. I said NOT even if you were the last man on earth. 1.3368 0.06794 95 73 12 10
1243 I'll be Fred and you be Wilma. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1244 That's the last time we use TripAdvisor. 1.3368 0.06627 95 72 14 9
1245 Maybe Obama wasn't so bad after all. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1246 So NOW you want to talk? 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1247 So much for our reverse mortgage. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1248 Think of all the beautiful sunrises and sunsets we'll see without all those buildings in the way. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1249 So why don't we start by exploring the origin of your anger. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1250 What do you say, shall we start re-populating? 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1251 So remind me when we're going to start to "Make America Great Again?" 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1252 YES! I VOTED FOR HIM ! 1.3368 0.07272 95 76 6 13
1253 Now are you sorry you didn't vote? 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1254 It could have been worse 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1255 I think I'll work from home tomorrow. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1256 Did you have any trouble with the directions? 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1257 I still think she shouldn't have used a private server. 1.3368 0.06957 95 74 10 11
1258 Talk about an empty nest. 1.3368 0.05521 95 66 26 3
1259 On the plus side, he kept his word about lower taxes. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1260 Just give him a chance. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1261 Remember when I said I wouldn't sleep with you if we were the last two people on Earth? 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1262 Elections have consequences. 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1263 Well, he still has three years and 364 days to make America great! 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1264 Yes, Honey, next time I'll call a plumber. 1.3333 0.06546 93 70 15 8
1265 Sure, but SHE had an e-mail server! 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1266 Anything else you've been holding back? 1.3333 0.06224 96 71 18 7
1267 Aren't you glad now we didn't spend the money for the kitchen remodel? 1.3333 0.05788 93 66 23 4
1268 See, I told you there'd be a place to sit. 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1269 I had better hope for his first 100 days. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1270 That last Tweet was a doozy. 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1271 Well, now I'm the last man on earth. Your move. 1.3333 0.06893 96 75 10 11
1272 Buy in Kabul, you said. Change of scenery, you said. 1.3333 0.06224 96 71 18 7
1273 I guess I've always considered myself a 'glass half full' guy. 1.3333 0.05671 96 68 24 4
1274 So, where are you from? 1.3333 0.06567 96 73 14 9
1275 When I started out it was simply my intent to declutter. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1276 I told you we didn't need a retirement account or health insurance. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1277 Well, at least we got Obamacare repealed first. 1.3333 0.06546 93 70 15 8
1278 They did say we'd see plenty of ruins. 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1279 I hope your Trump Twitter joke was worth it. 1.3333 0.06894 93 72 11 10
1280 The Times described it as "Airy" and "Unpretentious". 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1281 We should get together for coffee sometime. 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1282 Yes, it was repealed, now we await the replacement. 1.3333 0.06567 96 73 14 9
1283 Okay, you were right about Trump. Sorry. 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1284 So it's true what you said about if I was the last man on Earth? 1.3333 0.06567 96 73 14 9
1285 That's the last toaster I get from Walmart. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1286 So much for making American great again. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1287 Are you free for lunch? 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1288 So America is great again, now what? 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1289 Are you interviewing for the Housing and Urban Development job too? 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1290 How was your weekend? 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1291 Should we get take-out? 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1292 Civilization is overrated. 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1293 I'm just ONE VOTE, Marjorie. You're not going to pin all of this on me. 1.3333 0.07062 93 73 9 11
1294 Told ya. 1.3333 0.06732 96 74 12 10
1295 On the bright side, now he can bring back construction jobs 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1296 There may be some lingering resentment. 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1297 Ha! Looks like your mother won't be moving in, after all. 1.3333 0.06224 96 71 18 7
1298 Shall we order out? 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1299 So, you were saying, if I were the last man in earth what...? 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
1300 So... what's for dinner. 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1301 They say he's a genius at business 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1302 I think we need to change travel agents. 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1303 Now, there you go again, blowing things out of proportion. 1.3333 0.05861 96 69 22 5
1304 I personally think our first date was a blast. 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1305 Pizza OK tonight? 1.3333 0.06894 93 72 11 10
1306 Now repeat after me: Never put foil in the microwave. 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1307 Remember how you said you will never be with me unless I was the last man on earth 1.3333 0.06732 96 74 12 10
1308 Should we get take-out? 1.3333 0.05583 93 65 25 3
1309 Fine, I respect your decision. But what if I was the last man on Earth? 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
1310 Yeah, but what about her emails? 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1311 I told you that cat was trouble. 1.3333 0.06546 93 70 15 8
1312 Is it January 21st already? 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1313 Oh, so now he's MY son? 1.3333 0.06894 93 72 11 10
1314 Still, that went better than expected. 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1315 You microwaved the popcorn on the baked potato setting again, didn't you? 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
1316 I don't care if we are the last two people on earth. 1.3333 0.05788 93 66 23 4
1317 I had a feeling January 21st was a bad choice for our first date. 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1318 At least we voted our conscience. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1319 No, I did not leave the gas on. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1320 On the plus side, the inauguration speech was better than I expected. 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1321 You were right, OK? No silverware in the microwave. 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
1322 I said you take me "too seriously" not "to Syria." 1.3333 0.06546 93 70 15 8
1323 well that was close! 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1324 You are ignoring the fact that our tax rates are now lower. 1.3333 0.06567 96 73 14 9
1325 At least we gave him a chance. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1326 It will be great again. Just wait. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1327 You know, I think it was worth it for that brief moment when we were great again. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1328 Don't be so negative. He says he has a plan. 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1329 I TOLD you not to remove that tag. 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1330 Well someone left the gas on. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1331 When I said 'not even if you were the last man on earth' I meant it. 1.3333 0.06894 93 72 11 10
1332 Well now that I really am the last man on earth, will you marry me? 1.3333 0.06732 96 74 12 10
1333 Let's take another 15 minutes for lunch. I'm pretty sure my boss is out for the afternoon. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1334 I know we've just met, but I feel it's fate. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1335 So...What brings you here? 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1336 I told you I couldn't cook 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1337 I enjoy long walks through the rubble 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1338 Now you're going to say this isn't the change you had in mind. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1339 First, you make it here. Then, you make it anywhere. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1340 Even if I were the last man on Earth? 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1341 I really thought he would be better than Hillary. 1.3333 0.05788 93 66 23 4
1342 Alright, now I am the last man on Earth. 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
1343 Stop overreacting 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1344 Well, at least he got rid of Obamacare! 1.3333 0.06732 96 74 12 10
1345 Did we win? 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1346 But I AM the only man left in the world, Agnes. 1.3333 0.05671 96 68 24 4
1347 I'm glad we worked that out. 1.3333 0.06894 93 72 11 10
1348 Without a bona fide address, we cannot summit your insurance claim. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1349 You don't look like your profile picture. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1350 I could swear that red button said PUSH FOR LUNCH. 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1351 Did you say you would date me if I were the last man on earth? 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1352 I'm just not sure this is what the book meant by decluttering. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1353 The ad did say "Fixer Upper". 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1354 I DID follow the instructions! 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1355 I'm sorry, but your disaster insurance doesn't cover presidential elections. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1356 Well at least we don't have to have your mother over anymore. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1357 How long are you going to hold my vote for Trump against me? 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1358 Who said downsizing was difficult ? 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1359 Where's the remote? 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1360 Did you feel the earth move? 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1361 You take everything I say and blow it out of proportion! 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1362 As a matter of fact, I AM the last man on earth. 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1363 As I was saying before all hell broke loose... 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1364 No more baked beans for me. 1.3261 0.07101 92 73 8 11
1365 Delicately put, it looks like it's up to us to...you know.... 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1366 I just wanted change. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1367 Come now, you can't possibly be thinking my one vote makes me personally responsible for all this! 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1368 I've lost all my passwords. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1369 My bad, I thought you said you would date me if I was the last man on earth. 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1370 Yeah, but what about her emails? 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1371 We can still turn this around in the midterms. 1.3261 0.06931 92 72 10 10
1372 So what do you think about Trump after one day in office? 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1373 About what I expected for Trump's first month. 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1374 OK fine, maybe I shouldn't have voted for him. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1375 Not if you were the last man on earth. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1376 I guess this is why the tickets for Trumpworld were half the price of Westworld. 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1377 So, shall we get started? The planet's not going to repopulate itself! 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1378 Our marriage is the real disaster. 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1379 Next time call an electrician. 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1380 Looks like the divorce is final. 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1381 Maybe Mexico will pay for the rebuilding. 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1382 It's pronounced nuclear not "nuke-you-ler"! 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1383 I still feel like we didn't get to the bottom of those emails... 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1384 At least there's no more Mexicans. 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1385 Can we try it my way now? 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1386 Did you leave the stove on again? 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1387 So, now that I am The Last Man On Earth, whaddaya say? 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1388 Okay, next year we can visit your family. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1389 OK, OK, you were right. Now are you happy? 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1390 you win, Chinese tonight 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1391 Our therapist just cancelled. 1.3226 0.06146 93 69 18 6
1392 Would you if I were the last man in the world? 1.3226 0.06693 93 72 12 9
1393 OK, I'll admit it. I am kind of sorry I voted for him. 1.3187 0.05608 91 65 23 3
1394 Okay. I admit that I might have underestimated the damage he could do to our country. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1395 Hillary would've been worse. 1.3187 0.06790 91 71 11 9
1396 I thought Putin liked him. 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1397 So, what are you doing after the Apocalypse? 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1398 It all started with a tweet. 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
1399 Stop saying, "I told you so." 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1400 He thought he was tweeting. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1401 But her e-mails... 1.3187 0.06967 91 72 9 10
1402 Well, I hate to say I told you so. 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1403 As of 5 minutes ago, I am the last man on earth. Now will you marry me? 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1404 Does this mean you've done nothing for dinner? 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1405 Maybe you and he just define "great again" differently. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1406 For the last time, I didn't vote for him! 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1407 This set, AND an X-rated script? Seriously? 1.3187 0.07141 91 73 7 11
1408 Look, I'm not the only one who voted for him. 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1409 Next time you book a vacation, please clarify what "off season" means. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1410 So NOW you want to talk? 1.3187 0.06790 91 71 11 9
1411 OK, so I forgot where I parked. It's not like it's the end of the world. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1412 We just can't afford to abandon a rent-controlled apartment. 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1413 We will both laugh about this when we read the captions. 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
1414 A new year, a clean start! 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
1415 See? A child must have clear limits. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1416 I suppose this is my fault, too. 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1417 I must say this has been my most exciting date in a long while. How about we walk on over to what's left of the cinema? 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1418 You asked for unobstructed views. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1419 Well, Martha, I'm literally the last man on earth now. Time to call your bluff. 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1420 What's it gonna take to admit you were wrong? 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1421 Just for once, can we argue without you going for the nuclear option? 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1422 Now do you believe me that 20 minutes in the microwave is too much?! 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1423 OK, OK. I'm sorry I voted for Donald Trump. There - are you happy now? 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1424 I think our arguments are becoming too heated. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1425 And over there used to be the Trump Tower. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1426 Well, so much for "Don't worry. The country has survived much worse." 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1427 Thank God we got rid of Obamacare 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1428 I don't need to fix that leak after all. 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1429 The view is unobstructed. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1430 I guess that dinner and a movie are out. 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1431 Sorry. I didn't mean to blow up like that. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1432 NOW can we ask for directions? 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1433 So...do you know why you're in a time-out? 1.3187 0.05608 91 65 23 3
1434 You said you'd only date me if I was the last man on Earth. 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1435 There's no one else but you. 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1436 Ikea will deliver the table tomorrow between noon and 6 PM. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1437 I'm willing to give you half of the house. 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
1438 I told the Uber driver that we were waiting outside Trump Tower. Do you think we need to call him again? 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
1439 See? Swamp drained. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1440 Trump won Get over it. 1.3187 0.06790 91 71 11 9
1441 Well, that’s one way to drain the swamp. 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
1442 I know we don't agree on much politically...but I for one preferred the "nuclear option" as a metaphor. 1.3187 0.06967 91 72 9 10
1443 Fine. You win. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1444 You were right about Trump comrade. I should never have double dog dared him! 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1445 You said you would marry me when the world ended. Well? 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1446 Can't you ever look on the bright side? 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1447 Who's your secretary of housing and urban development now? 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1448 Our relationship is in ruins. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1449 Homes explode sometime, it's got nothing to with your mother coming to visit. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1450 This does qualify for my most unusual first date. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1451 Sorry I blew up. 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
1452 I think I left the iron on. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1453 All we wanted was to repeal Obamacare 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1454 Well, last man on Earth should count for something... 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1455 So how's your January 21st going? 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1456 And you said it wouldn't matter who we voted for... 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1457 On the other hand, Mexico did pay for the wall. 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
1458 Nooo, the bet was the wall would go up BEFORE he started World War III. 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1459 I sense a disturbance in the force. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1460 Okay, Okay.! Enough with the I-didn't-vote-for-him bit. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1461 Sort of a moot point, now. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1462 It's been a brutal divorce. Can we agree on that? 1.3146 0.07252 89 72 6 11
1463 Did you say it's January 21, 2017? Well, that escalated quickly. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1464 At least we didn't vote for someone with a private email server. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1465 The agent said "not covered". 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1466 Come here often? 1.3146 0.05442 89 63 24 2
1467 Don't blame me, I voted for Bernie. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1468 If this were an episode of the Twilight Zone, you'd be a sexy robot. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1469 I'm tired of picking through the debris of our relationship 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1470 Were you serious about not sleeping with me even if I were the last man on earth? 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1471 I guess we'll see if you stick to your "last man on earth" policy. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1472 Okay, okay. Next time I'll read the directions. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1473 I've never been on a Cinder date. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1474 ...and I say it could have been some 400 pound guy in his bed in New Jersey. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1475 Well, okay...and what do you think he has planned for January 21st? 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1476 Then you said, "What could possibly go wrong?" 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1477 I told you not to order anything delivered by a drone 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1478 Donald Trump asked 'What do you have to lose?' and now we know. 1.3146 0.06703 89 69 12 8
1479 Fine; I was wrong. I guess he CAN do a lot of harm in just four years. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1480 Why couldn't he just send a few nasty twitters? 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1481 You have actually argued with me until the end of time. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1482 You win. It was rocket science. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1483 Still happy with your "protest vote", honey? 1.3146 0.06703 89 69 12 8
1484 There goes the neighborhood. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1485 Somehow it doesn't seem to matter that we didn't vote for him, does it? 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1486 I guess we should update our Linked In status. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1487 And I assume you're going to tell me this is all my fault too. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1488 Even if I were the last man on Earth? 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1489 So...are you still glad you voted for Trump?!? 1.3146 0.07074 89 71 8 10
1490 Every Peace Corps experience is different. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1491 Now that I am the last man on earth, can we at least date? 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1492 I asked you never to press Control + Alt + Delete 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1493 I honestly never thought he'd win. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1494 I told you we should have taken his Twitter away. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1495 OK, OK, I shoulda voted for Hillary! 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1496 Don't look at me; I didn't vote for either of them. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1497 So, now how are you feeling about that protest vote? 1.3146 0.07074 89 71 8 10
1498 I've been waiting for a good time to talk to you. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1499 Finally, some privacy. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1500 So? You from around here? 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1501 Yes, he made an unfortunate tweet. 1.3146 0.06703 89 69 12 8
1502 Excuse me, I had beans for lunch. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1503 It was that last tweet. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1504 You could have just told me you wanted more space. 1.3146 0.05671 89 64 22 3
1505 Don't look at me- I voted for Stein. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1506 Now? Now he makes it great again. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1507 Next time, insist your travel agent explain 'Amazing Ruins.' 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1508 Well, maybe I did leave the stove on... 1.3146 0.06891 89 70 10 9
1509 YOU are the one who voted to put his stubby orange finger on the red button. 1.3146 0.07074 89 71 8 10
1510 At least Tinder is still working. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1511 Now, can I say, 'I told you so'? 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1512 You remember that button you always told me not to push? 1.3146 0.06703 89 69 12 8
1513 At least we don't have to worry about global warming. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1514 Not even if I'm the last man on earth? 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1515 I don't think it's fair for you to give me that 'I blame you for this look'. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1516 Feel the burn? 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1517 That's true, but he created a lot of jobs getting us here. 1.3146 0.06891 89 70 10 9
1518 Well as a first date, that was quite exciting 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1519 You had to add the jalapenos! 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1520 Well, that was exciting. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1521 It's agreed, then. We'll abolish the electoral college. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1522 Don't judge until you see the sunset 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1523 Did you remember to lock up? 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1524 Don't blame me. YOU'RE the one who wanted to make America great again. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1525 In retrospect, I guess improper email protocol was less dangerous than Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 1.3146 0.06703 89 69 12 8
1526 I swear I thought he was going to make it great again 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1527 Well, on the plus side, no more pundits. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1528 I blame the Electoral College. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1529 Now will you marry me? 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1530 Well, most times I do read the instructions. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1531 At least, we still have our health. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1532 Didn't see this coming when you pulled that lever on Election Day, did you? 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1533 Pick you up at seven? 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1534 Women just don't understand politics. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1535 What's for dinner? (this is actually by my son Felix, age 8) 1.3146 0.06703 89 69 12 8
1536 At least we don't have to tell our future grandchildren that we met online. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1537 Finally, we'll have something else to talk about beside the children 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1538 And to think that only one week ago on this very spot he took the oath of office. 1.3146 0.06891 89 70 10 9
1539 Well, we won't need dinner reservations. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1540 I guess Putin didn't back down. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1541 At least they repealed Obamacare. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1542 The question is, are we great again. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1543 Okay, I won't put Mentos in gasoline again. 1.3146 0.06703 89 69 12 8
1544 Now do you see why your vote matters? 1.3146 0.06703 89 69 12 8
1545 I was just hoping to pay less taxes. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1546 We're in a destructive relationship. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1547 Now that I'm actually the last man on Earth, will you reconsider? 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1548 You mean "further". "Farther" refers to distance. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1549 How many times have I told you to switch to an iPhone? 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1550 Glad we have made America great again. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1551 It’s ok, we are going to make it great again… 1.3146 0.06891 89 70 10 9
1552 I know, I know, you told me not to have the cabbage rolls. 1.3146 0.06891 89 70 10 9
1553 And he's not even in office yet. 1.3146 0.07074 89 71 8 10
1554 Sure, it looks bad now. But I still think we're going to be Great Again. 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
1555 Think I'll run down to Home Depot. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
1556 Okay - so, now that I am the last man on Earth. . . ? 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
1557 I guess this means we are stuck with each other. 1.3068 0.05202 88 62 25 1
1558 So, are you from around here? 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1559 Things look so much better since they drained the swamp 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1560 Well, you voted for him! 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1561 "Give him a chance," you said. "How bad can he be?" you said. "He'll make America great again," you said. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1562 Yeah, but just imagine how much worse it would be if the Democrats were still in charge. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1563 Perhaps my Twitter feed was a tad bit provocative. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1564 In hindsight, I probably should have voted for someone else. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1565 At least we have Obamacare. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1566 Our insurance policy doesn't cover "scorched earth". 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1567 Please stop exaggerating. This isn't a total disaster. 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1568 I don't like blind dates. But since we're the last two people on earth, I'll make an exception. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1569 I snore. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1570 I was really hoping for someone a bit younger. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1571 Look at the bright side. At least you have the unobstructed view you always wanted. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1572 I warned you there was a housing bubble. 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1573 I guess Trump called their bluff! 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1574 But I miss caption contests the most. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1575 So much for the meteor warning being fake news. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1576 That'll teach those smug elitests 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1577 You have spinach between your teeth. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1578 Here's that fresh start you wanted 1.3068 0.05447 88 63 23 2
1579 Now you have something to make great again! 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1580 Why don't you try this rock, I think you'll find it more comfortable. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1581 Well, at least you still have me. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1582 D-Date 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1583 But you're missing the whole point: we won! 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1584 And you're sure you unplugged the iron? 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1585 Don't blame me I voted for Gary Johnson. 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1586 I guess it's up to us to repopulate the world. You want to get started? 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1587 ...And then Putin said "Sez who?" 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1588 The good news? No zombies. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1589 Well, at least now we don't have to worry about climate change. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1590 I still say things would be worse under Hillary. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1591 I'm sure there will be a plausible explanation on Twitter. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1592 I'm just saying, you have shown a tendency to overreact. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1593 I told you not to use bleach and vinegar to clean the toilet. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1594 My doctor said, "You have OCD. Stop checking if you left the stove on." 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1595 I told you not to smoke in the basement. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1596 I guess Russia wasn't as friendly as Trump thought. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1597 Are you sure you turned the oven off? 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1598 Would you consider a second date? 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1599 It was that last Tweet that did it. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1600 Go ahead, say it. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1601 Are you sure these are the Great Again VIP seats? 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1602 I just thought he'd mature in office. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1603 "The owners said if we act now we can get in on the ground floor". 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1604 C’mon, you hated the wallpaper too. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1605 I don't have much to offer you. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1606 You can stop reminding me who I voted for. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1607 So, about that "last man on earth" comment! 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1608 I still think Hillary would have been worse. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1609 I told you that cat was trouble. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1610 Ok, so I voted for the "what's the use of nukes if we don't use them" candidate. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1611 I'm ready to concede that I was wrong about the election. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1612 Pretty good. How about you? 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1613 "This is what he means by 'GREAT AGAIN'"? 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1614 As I was saying.... 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1615 Yeah, but at least that damned Obamacare is gone. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1616 Well now I am the last man in the world. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1617 You're acting like this argument is the end of the world. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1618 Well, I guess it depends on your definition of great. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1619 But she deleted some emails. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1620 OK, I shouldn't have tried to rewire the electrical outlet in the bathroom myself. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1621 So what do you want to do now? 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1622 Don't blame me, I voted for Bernie. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1623 Well, maybe white people did have something to lose. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1624 On the plus side, Obamacare has finally been repealed! 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1625 No kidding. I voted for him, too. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1626 When you said you wouldn't go out with me if I were the last man on earth, were you speaking literally or figuratively? 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1627 Where did you park the car? 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1628 The good news is he'll probably be a one-term President. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1629 Look, I just thought he had some good policies, ok?! 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1630 Are you up for trying to repopulate the world? 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1631 But Hillary deleted a bunch of emails... 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1632 Still happy about the protest vote for Stein? 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1633 I admit it. We were better off under Obama. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1634 In the plus column, my parents will have to cancel their visit. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1635 This is just the first step of Making America Great Again 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1636 I guess telling the President off was a mistake! 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1637 Anyway, want to get a drink sometime? 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1638 So much for giving him a chance. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1639 On the plus side, we were right about Trump. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1640 I thought it was just a protest vote. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1641 I understand that every marriage hits a rough patch, but it feels like we're living in a war zone. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1642 We didn't have enough miles for Italy. 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1643 Our duty is to repopulate the world. I'm ready now. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1644 I told you I smelled gas. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1645 Let's start over. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1646 It was still a great tweet. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1647 Should we have voted for Hillary? 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1648 America's great again. 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1649 Yes, but Adam and Eve had a garden. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1650 Still happy with your "Protest Vote"? 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1651 I think we're still in the Repeal phase. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1652 I thought they said this building was pre-war? 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1653 Well.....I guess you could say that the swamp has been drained 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1654 You'll see. This is just the beginning of "making America great again"... 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1655 I want a divorce. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1656 Fran, I have to agree with your therapist: you have an explosive temper. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1657 They say they have a plan to replace it. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1658 Now that I actually am the last man on Earth, do you still want that divorce? 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1659 Elections have consequences. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1660 At least we still have Social Security... 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1661 We should still give him a chance to lead... 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1662 Single level, airy, expansive view, low rent. Yep, that's what the ad said. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1663 He said everything he was going to do would be YUGE. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1664 Well, that completes our down-sizing. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1665 This is what I mean about your temper. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1666 I still think I can flip it in three months. 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1667 But the emails, Barb! 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1668 So maybe he'll build the wall on Day Two. 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1669 Don't worry. Once they open a Whole Foods, our property value will triple. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1670 It's not you. It's me. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1671 Want to reconsider your "last man on Earth" stance? 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1672 Okay, so now we have a third world problem! Does that make you happy? 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1673 I wish I'd voted. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1674 I'm still not sleeping with you. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1675 Will you be voting Republican again next year too? 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1676 Well I don't care what you say. He speaks his mind, and I respect that. 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1677 We may have to reschedule the intelligence briefing. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1678 Give him a chance. He's not even in office yet. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1679 OK, OK. You get the house. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1680 Fine, you can't put tinfoil in the microwave. But it still saved us some time. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1681 Sure, but what about her emails? 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1682 Would this be a good time to ask you who you voted for? 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1683 The great part must be next! 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1684 Just got a Tweet from the President -- we won. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1685 The dating scene has really changed. 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1686 I still think her emails were a bigger deal. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1687 You're the one who voted for him. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1688 Don't look at me, I didn't vote for Trump. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1689 I thought YOU turned off the stove. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1690 I'll check again for survivors...Watch my seat. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1691 ... On top of all that, I'm a claims adjuster. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1692 Look at the bright side. We still have that 20% off coupon from Bed, Bath and Beyond. 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1693 Got any plans this evening? 1.3068 0.05447 88 63 23 2
1694 Those hotel deals are never as good as they look in the photos. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1695 It's all Obama's fault. 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1696 They are not targeting civilians, we are perfectly safe here. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1697 Well then, your place or mine? 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1698 He said it's all part of the plan. Now Europe will pay for brand new buildings. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1699 At least we have a wall. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1700 If we hire you would you be willing to relocate? 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1701 "I guess we can always sneak across the border to Mexico". 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1702 I don't know. Where do you want to eat? 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1703 Next Halloween, let's make sure we don't run out of candy 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1704 Our marriage is in ruins. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1705 Did you hear all that noise last night? 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1706 Ironically, now I am the last man on earth! 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1707 Well, I'll say we survived our first date okay. 1.3068 0.05447 88 63 23 2
1708 Where did you park? 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1709 I'm an interior decorator. What do you do? 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1710 I guess it wasn't ,"fake news" 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1711 So, that's what the red button on the microwave was for. 1.3068 0.06925 88 70 9 9
1712 "Maybe it's time to see a mediator". 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1713 Like my profile said, I have some anger issues. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1714 I know, I know, for the thousandth time, you voted for her. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1715 Ok, Ok, I should have called the repairman. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1716 Well, that's not what happened in the YouTube Tutorial. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1717 I still say, lock her up! 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1718 Well, at least he got rid of Obamacare! 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1719 I still say Hillary was worse. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1720 I thought YOU turned off the stove. 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1721 If you think this is bad, wait until the zombies show up. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1722 But what about those e-mails? 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1723 Now we replace. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
1724 No, really Eve, my name is actually Adam. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1725 To think it all started with a tweet... 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1726 And then I remembered what my ex-wife constantly told me - "Never put metal in the microwave!" 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1727 And I was just starting to feel great again... 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1728 Is now a bad time to ask if I should take a Viagra? 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1729 Maybe Obama wasn't so bad. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1730 I can hardly recognize the old neighborhood. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1731 2016 is looking better with each passing day. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1732 Next year I choose the vacation! 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1733 l'm beginning to regret my vote. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1734 In hindsight, perhaps we should have voted for Hillary 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1735 I blame your mother. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
1736 Remember when you said, "If I was the last man on earth?" 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1737 Now we really need someone to make it great again. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1738 It turns out he did make America disintegrate again. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1739 In retrospect, maybe we shouldn't have voted for Jill Stein. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1740 Why do you always have to make it about the apocalypse? 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1741 Let's start over. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1742 This is Kansas, Dorothy... What did you expect? 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1743 Some all-expenses-paid vacations just aren't worth it. 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1744 Next time vote democratic 1.2989 0.06959 87 70 8 9
1745 No more "Do it yourself" YouTube videos. 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1746 Do you want the short version or the long version? 1.2989 0.05451 87 63 22 2
1747 I know it isn't great again but it's not grounds for impeachment. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1748 WW III - It's a good thing we weren't home when it happened. 1.2989 0.06959 87 70 8 9
1749 I miss the old neighborhood. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
1750 Is that lipstick on your collar? 1.2989 0.06764 87 69 10 8
1751 Hell hath no fury... 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1752 Hi. My name is Adam. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
1753 Alright, I was wrong about President Trump. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1754 You're right, voting for Trump was a bad idea. 1.2989 0.06764 87 69 10 8
1755 This is absolutely the last time we use a Russian travel agent. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1756 Oh don't be so smug 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1757 You don't think America's great again? 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1758 Still better than Hillary. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1759 We'll always have Pittsburgh. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1760 When you said we'd have a blast, you really meant it. 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1761 Sorry that I didn't get around to calling the gas company about that smell. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1762 Do you think it's finally "great" now? 1.2989 0.06764 87 69 10 8
1763 Fine. I'll stop trolling the President on Twitter. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1764 Let's eat out tonight. 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1765 How about if I was the last man on scorched earth? 1.2989 0.06764 87 69 10 8
1766 They dropped it, why can't you? 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1767 Let me guess: I'll be sleeping on what's left of the couch tonight. 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1768 Is this what you meant when you said: 'Let's start over again'? 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1769 Well! At least we have each other. 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1770 At least we found seats next to each other. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
1771 Oh stop complaining. He won. Let's just give him a chance. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1772 You never take me anywhere nice. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1773 Let's hope this is the best E-Harmony match ever. 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1774 Well the media did not predict this would happen. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1775 I already said I'm sorry I voted for him. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1776 You shouldn't have pulled my finger. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1777 Any other ideas for avoiding the next four years? 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1778 When he said, 'Make America Great Again,' I missed the part about starting from scratch. 1.2989 0.06764 87 69 10 8
1779 At least we have each other. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1780 But what about her emails?!! 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1781 Welcome to 2017. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1782 Well, yeah, if the election were held today, sure..." 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1783 The timing for your acceptance of a woman president is just a little late, Phil. 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1784 The tweet read 'Sad. No way it could be the Russians.' 1.2989 0.06764 87 69 10 8
1785 Yes, it's the end. Yes, the answer is still "No." 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1786 'You're disappointed, I can tell. I admit, my profile picture was taken pre-apocalypse.' 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1787 Now that I actually am the last man on Earth, how about that coffee? 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1788 See, Trump's first week wasn't so bad. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1789 Well, Burt, you somehow topped our honeymoon in Bosnia ... 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1790 OK, I took the lumpy rock. What else do you want? 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1791 Yes, I voted for him--so what? 1.2955 0.06695 88 70 10 8
1792 Isn't tonight sex night? 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1793 Well I guess that just leaves you and me. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1794 We should try to patch things up. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1795 All I said was that his hands seemed unusually small. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1796 I'm the last man on Earth. Now will you go out with me? 1.2955 0.05636 88 65 20 3
1797 Turns out having a roof over my head was a large part of your appeal. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1798 Maybe we should give couples therapy a rest. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1799 I thought we'd at least make it passed January 21st... 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1800 Are you happy now? I was wrong again - it IS the end of the world. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1801 OK, maybe deplorable. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1802 Now will you sleep with me? 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1803 Ok, I did leave the stove on. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1804 I told you that giving the nuclear codes to a former reality TV show host was a bad idea. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1805 So, are you still so certain you wouldn't date me if I were the last person on the face of the Earth? 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1806 I didn't promise you a rose garden. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1807 Well, clearly, but you voted for him, too. 1.2907 0.06793 86 69 9 8
1808 There is still the question of attorney fees. 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1809 Now that I AM the last man on earth, are you sure you won't change your mind? 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1810 I guess this means we live with your mother now. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1811 No, it's definitely not half full. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1812 We made it through hell unscathed, now brace yourself for high water. 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1813 No, I don't know where the LGBT bathrooms are. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1814 Or we could've just called an exterminator 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1815 So what if I WAS the last man on earth? 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1816 ... And then someone called him a Cheeto for the very last time 1.2907 0.06992 86 70 7 9
1817 Can you hear me now? 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1818 It's all your fault. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1819 Things could be worse. 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1820 What would you like to keep in the divorce? 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1821 Everywhere your mother goes its the same! 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1822 You're the one who insisted on the 20 year mortgage. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1823 Why don't we just order out? 1.2907 0.05453 86 63 21 2
1824 I told you not to put aluminum foil in the microwave 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1825 My mother always told me you were a homewrecker. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1826 I was right. Hell didn't freeze over. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1827 So what do think of our new president? 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1828 What do you mean, I should have read the directions first? 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1829 Go on, say it. I ruin things for everyone. 1.2907 0.05453 86 63 21 2
1830 Don't look at me like that, you are the one who voted for him. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1831 Sadly we are not in love among the ruins. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1832 Their calling it the 'tweet heard round the world' 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1833 And if I WAS the last man on earth? 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1834 Were your flights non-refundable too? 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1835 That's why it's called research & development. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1836 You can stop worrying that you left the stove on, Mildred. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1837 I'm rethinking my Trump vote. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1838 Not even if we were the last two people on Earth, huh, Carol? 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1839 Really? Armageddon was my fault? 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1840 Honey, you'll never guess what happened today... 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1841 So, are you going to vote for Trump again in 2020? 1.2907 0.06793 86 69 9 8
1842 Well at least he didn't have a private email server. 1.2907 0.06793 86 69 9 8
1843 I guess Kim Jung-un called The Donald's bluff. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1844 Fake news! It didn't happen. Sad. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1845 I thought you said you turned the stove off. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1846 Now aren't you glad we didn't buy? 1.2907 0.05453 86 63 21 2
1847 Which house was Alec Baldwin's? 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1848 Did you shut off the oven? 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1849 Is it not uncanny that my name is Adam and that yours is Eve? 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1850 So, I'm guessing your mother won't be coming now? 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1851 What was it you said? Not even if I was the last man on Earth? 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1852 The instructions came in every language but English. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1853 At least he did something in the first hundred days. 1.2907 0.05453 86 63 21 2
1854 If this is the end of civilization as we know it, at least that means he won't be re-elected. 1.2907 0.06992 86 70 7 9
1855 Well, that was one of the rougher therapy sessions I've had. 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1856 Was that necessary - just to keep my mother from visiting?! 1.2907 0.05453 86 63 21 2
1857 Well, you're the one who voted for him. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1858 I wonder what would've happened if Russia hadn't been our friend... 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1859 I imagined ‘airy with historic views’ differently 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1860 Well you're nothing like your profile pic, Mr "lastmanonearth69" but I guess you'll have to do. 1.2907 0.06992 86 70 7 9
1861 At least we still have our health care plan. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1862 We got our guy elected, didn't we? 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1863 I know You don't want to hear it again, "there goes the neighborhood." 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1864 At least now we have one less thing to worry about. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1865 I can't get over how cheap our flights were! 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1866 Okay, I should have voted! 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1867 Being married to you is still worse. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1868 Did you check the radiation levels before we left? 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1869 Bad news, Ruth. It's no longer a seller's market. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1870 Love is a battlefield. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1871 How's 'Not if you were the last man on earth!' working for you now? 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1872 Think you had enough cognac in the flambé? 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1873 I think an Ikea run. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1874 You can't make me move. This block is rent controlled. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1875 OK, maybe we should have tried mediation. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1876 That was some sneeze. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1877 Fine, I'll admit it. I passed some gas. 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1878 I told you the article about the meteor wasn't Fake News! 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1879 I guess he thought the Stone Age was great. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1880 You want to reconsider? Because it now looks like I am the last man on Earth. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1881 You're right, I shouldn't have fought you so much over the thermostat. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1882 I was hoping we'd at least make it until the inauguration. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1883 Alright, so I left the oven on. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1884 Why do you always blame me when something goes wrong? 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1885 It's a metaphor. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1886 I guess we'll never have Paris 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1887 You're my ex. So, at least we don't still have each other. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1888 Didn't take long for America to be 'Great Again'. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1889 Do you still think they were right to take away his Twitter account? 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1890 Now it will be even more fantastic when he makes America great again. 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1891 Did you remember to turn off the lights? 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1892 "What's your favorite home renovation show"? 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1893 Did you unplug the coffee pot? 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1894 I guess a "hot" real estate market can mean two different things. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1895 Well that couple's therapy session ended well. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1896 I hate it when a neighborhood gets discovered. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1897 I love what you've done with the space. 1.2857 0.05507 84 62 20 2
1898 Do you think the parade is still on? 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1899 I guess I thought that the apocalypse would be more...something. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1900 When I said, 'Let's vacation in Damascus', I meant Maryland. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1901 I pulled the lever in the voting booth and next thing you know..... 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1902 I'm Adam. What's your name? 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1903 So, you still feel good about that protest vote? 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1904 One day after inauguration and here were are..... 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1905 Look at the bright side. Your mother can't come. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1906 I think we should try mediation. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1907 Ok, fine. That "Holiday in Aleppo" brochure may have been a bit out-of-date. 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1908 Was that a definite "no?" 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1909 I told you over and over again we were on the eve of destruction. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1910 We stay...I refuse to learn another language! 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1911 So he won. It's not the end of the world. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1912 I was very happy with our simple, ordinary life, but then you had to convert to gas. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1913 Homewrecker! 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1914 It's just like you to always look at the dark side. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1915 Say "great" again, I dare you. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1916 Henry, you've ruined everything. 1.2857 0.07299 84 70 4 10
1917 OK, we've de-cluttered. Are you happy now? 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1918 Ok now I agree with you about Trump 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1919 It's the first step of his jobs program. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1920 You started it. 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1921 Yes, there is a learning curve when making your own fireworks. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1922 Yeah, but Hillary was a crook. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1923 Unless you have your proof of insurance, I'm afraid I can't help you. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1924 We should have voted for Hillary. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1925 Well, I've always done the cooking, and you've always done the picking up. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1926 I don't see any reason to go to work today, do you? 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1927 Ready to repopulate? 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1928 Told you to cut the BLUE wire!! 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1929 You have to admit . . . the Mexicans did build a fantastic wall. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1930 Did you have to look so disappointed when I said, 'at least we still have each other'? 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1931 Should we cancel the lawn care service? 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1932 Okay, you were right. I should have read the directions. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1933 You and your 'Off-Season Rates'! 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1934 At least we have our health. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1935 Could be worse. They could have seated us by the kitchen. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1936 Fine -- so my mother's visit was, in fact, the end of the world. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1937 This approach worked in the campaign. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1938 This could have happened just as easily if she was president. 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1939 Obama was right-there are no red states or blue states. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1940 You told your lawyer to go nuclear. Happy now? 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1941 So, is America Great Again yet? 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1942 I am the last man on earth. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1943 I guess elections do have consequences. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1944 I say we give it one half of one star on TripAdvisor. 1.2857 0.05507 84 62 20 2
1945 I have an idea for a home renovation reality show. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1946 ...And so I said to myself, what a wonderful world. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1947 So, does that whole "Not if you're the last man on earth" thing still count. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1948 Well, I STILL wouldn't have voted for Hillary because of her emails. 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1949 On the bright side at least nuclear winter will balance global warming. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1950 Tell me again about how elections don't matter. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1951 I'm having second thoughts about voting for Donald Trump 1.2857 0.05507 84 62 20 2
1952 The box said it was safe for boys 10 to 15. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1953 I didn't think "scorched earth policy" applied to us. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1954 You can't expect to make America great again if you aren't willing to ruffle a few feathers. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1955 "Well, I think it's only gong to be a four year term". 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1956 Not to say I told you so, but that didn't take long 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1957 At least we're still in Kansas. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1958 "Great" is a subjective word I guess. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1959 Any thoughts on dinner? 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1960 "Not if I was the last man on earth," really? 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1961 Okay fine, I admit it. I should've voted for her. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1962 Don't worry, the hipsters will move in soon. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1963 It was your idea to use the travel agent from Kabul 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1964 I'd say we still have each other, but frankly that doesn't do it for me. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1965 Noah started with less. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1966 The city bus may not be coming, want to try Uber? 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1967 Fox News didn't see it coming. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1968 At least this will deter the immigrants. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1969 I knew the play bombed, but I didn't think the critics would go this far. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1970 OK, but his Supreme Court pick was awesome. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1971 But he repealed Obamacare. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1972 You just couldn't wait to use the nuclear option in this argument, could you? 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1973 All things considered, how do you like the neighborhood? 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1974 O K you win. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1975 I told you I can't cook! 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1976 Looks like I AM the last man on earth. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1977 There's 'repeal'. I'm waiting for 'replace'. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1978 Ok, who's ready to repopulate the earth? 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1979 Well, at least the Mexicans paid for that wall. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1980 No, honey, I still would not vote for Hillary. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1981 I thought the directions said to pre-heat oven to 3500 degrees. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1982 OK, maybe his last tweet was a LITTLE too provocative. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1983 I was told to cut the green wire. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1984 Four more years? 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1985 You said you weren't concerned about his foreign policy. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1986 Well, now that I am the last man on earth, I'll give you one more chance to reconsider. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1987 I don't understand. the brochures said Aleppo is lovely this time of year 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1988 The Donald tweeted a photobomb challenge to Vlad - and and it was downhill from there. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1989 He said that it had nothing to do with the fact that we didn’t vote for him. He said they were showing him the button and his little hand slipped. 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1990 Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. 1.2857 0.05240 84 61 22 1
1991 He said literally but, I didn't think he meant literally. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1992 I see this as a unique buying opportunity. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1993 Do you remember me saying 'The world may end, but our love will last forever...' 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1994 Oh! Carol! I feel the earth move under my feet!" "Oh! Neil! I feel the sky tumbling down! 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1995 So? You from around here? 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1996 Why didn't you tell me that you'd never changed a fuse before? 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1997 Well I'm really glad we gave Trump a chance! ...Now what? 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1998 OK, OK... But I still think she lied about her emails. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1999 I don't care what you say, I feel great again. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
2000 Well, you got your wish for no more obnoxious neighbors. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2001 Didn't see that one coming. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2002 Think of it as our very own Waiting for Godot moment. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2003 So that's why they called it Tinder. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2004 Now I'm glad we didn't pay the gas bill 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2005 You can't say he wasn't effective. Race, immigration, employment, trade and health care aren't problems anymore. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
2006 You had to give the kids a chemistry set. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2007 I thought I'd be wearing something edgier after the apocalypse. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2008 Tell me again how this is great? 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
2009 Should we repopulate? 1.2857 0.05240 84 61 22 1
2010 Perhaps you'll be a little lerss condenscending now that I really am the last man on earth. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2011 'I don't care. I'm still not staying at your mother's. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2012 Next year, I'll choose the vacation destination. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
2013 I don't have any of my usual first date jitters 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
2014 My point is, it's a lot easier to make something great again if you completely destroy it first. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
2015 You were right—I should have voted for Hillary. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2016 Don't look at me. I didn't vote. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
2017 I still say 2016 was worse. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
2018 I chase storms Helen, it's what I do. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2019 Did you remember to unplug the iron? 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
2020 But if you put aside the retaliation, you have to admit that it was one of Trump's best zingers. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2021 That's amazing -- I was raised by a post-apocalyptic mutant motorcycle gang too! 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2022 Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2023 This is why we can't have nice things. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2024 The people have spoken. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
2025 I told you we didn't need reservations. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2026 Not even if you were the last person on Earth. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2027 Beans and cabbage for dinner, and then you light a cigarette ! 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
2028 Next on the list, Social Security. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2029 The last one ever, but a helluva tweet. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
2030 On the bright side, Trump was only a one-term president. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2031 I like this place because it hasn't been gentrified. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2032 No, I don't think this apocalypse makes you look fat. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
2033 I just want to be sure you're actually the last man on Earth. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
2034 Anything new going on with Kim and Kanye? 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
2035 Now that I AM the last person on Earth, you still won't talk to me? 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
2036 I'll give up the seat when your friend arrives. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2037 We could be in the middle of a real estate boom. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
2038 So we gave him a chance. Is it ok to ask now if we made a mistake? 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2039 On second thought, maybe I did leave the coffee maker on. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2040 I told you to get rid of your Samsung. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
2041 Well...now that I actually AM the last man on earth, how about dinner? 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2042 The next time you want to play with the grandkids we're going to their house! 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
2043 Well, we still own a piece of the rock. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2044 No, I still won't move to the suburbs. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2045 Finally, it's just the two of us. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2046 I didn't vote for the guy. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
2047 So what do you wanna do after this? 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2048 No, Fred, you may not call me "Wilma," now. 1.2824 0.06613 85 68 10 7
2049 So what time is your mother coming? 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2050 Oh oh. Did I turn the oven off? 1.2824 0.06613 85 68 10 7
2051 Could be worse. Could be snowing. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2052 You said you were looking for something in a pre-war building? 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2053 Did you remember to record Game of Thrones? 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2054 Well, Sue, it looks like I'm the last man on Earth. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2055 I had a rough day. What's for dinner? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2056 What? Sorry, hon, I wasn't listening. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2057 You're sure you sent in the premium ? 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2058 Let's just order takeout. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2059 '' I liked your pre-apocalyptic stare better than I like your post." 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2060 Do you think its a coincidence that my name is Adam, Eve? 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2061 At least he kept half of his campaign promise. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2062 Up till now, my first dates tended to be duds. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2063 So you're the last woman on earth. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2064 I hope I don't step on my glasses! 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2065 I agree her handling of e-mail doesn't seem like that big of a deal, in retrospect. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2066 Remember when you said, "I would never. Even if you're the last man on earth." Well... 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2067 Everything seems to quiet down after the holidays. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2068 You look just like your profile picture. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2069 Next time, get out and vote! 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2070 When I voted for him to shake things up, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2071 Hey, even a licensed electrician could've made the same mistake. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2072 Damn Right! And I would vote for him again! 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2073 See, I told you everything would be okay. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2074 I didn't realize there was a nuclear option for decluttering." 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2075 Thank you for giving him a chance. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2076 And what brings you to speed dating? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2077 Beats 2016. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2078 Okay, I really know that you're pissed off. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2079 NOW do we have room for a pool table!?! 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2080 Don't blame me. I didn't vote for him either. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2081 So, you still think Trump will be re-elected? 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2082 Oh, well, at least he didn't use a private e-mail server. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2083 Why not just level with me? 1.2771 0.06924 83 68 7 8
2084 At least Hillary Clinton isn't president 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2085 Do you have any plans for Saturday night? 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2086 Now THAT is what I call a fart! 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2087 I feel like that really cleared the air 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2088 Not if you were the last man on earth. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2089 I'm not moving until you say, "I'm sorry." 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2090 I told you we should have moved to Canada! 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2091 Let's go out for dinner. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2092 Hey! I'm not the one who voted for him! 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2093 How was I supposed to know a politician was going to do exactly what he said he was going to do? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2094 Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have given a damn about Hillary's email. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2095 I still don't want to meet your mother. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2096 Honestly....Netflix is what I miss the most. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2097 Ok dear, maybe I should try the Acidophilus. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2098 I bet you feel some guilt NOW over pushing so hard for the vasectomy. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2099 A penny for your thoughts. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2100 You knew I had a temper when you married me. 1.2771 0.05231 83 61 21 1
2101 But you voted to change the landscape! 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2102 And I thought the election results were a disaster 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2103 I tell you I don't care. What do YOU want to do for dinner? 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2104 Still glad you voted for him? 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2105 Oh c'mon, we've got front row seats. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2106 I TOLD you not to use foil in the microwave! 1.2771 0.06924 83 68 7 8
2107 This is why you don't stick a knife in the toaster. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2108 I still think it's Hillary's fault. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2109 Pizza or Chinese? 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2110 You just had to send that tweet about Trump's haircut! 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2111 Don't look at me like that. I didn't vote for him. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2112 Okay, maybe that slogan should have been "Make America Again". 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2113 See, not everything is fake news! 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2114 Let's eat out instead. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2115 Had we added an 'acts of war' rider we'd be sitting pretty. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2116 I dunno. What do you want to do? 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2117 Survivors can't be choosers! 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2118 Let's not start over. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2119 Surely they knew #DrainTheSwamp was a metaphor. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2120 Madam, I'm Adam 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2121 Yes, but I didn't think he'd really do it. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2122 Well. OK. But let's look at the positive side. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2123 Okay: I was wrong to tell you not to worry about the oven. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2124 Tell me again how this is "not the end of the world." 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2125 I still think we should give him a chance. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2126 I told you this would happen. Well maybe not this, but something. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2127 They're saying to cut the new Administration some slack. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2128 Oh, so it's my fault? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2129 Maybe buying the pressure cooker wasn't such a good idea. 1.2771 0.06924 83 68 7 8
2130 Look at the bright side. Now we don't need to make room for your mother. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2131 And you still think it was okay to vote for that man..?! 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2132 "My beans won't give you gas", you said. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2133 While it WAS a load-bearing wall, I think we can both agree this really opens up the space. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2134 I guess this means we can skip couples therapy. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2135 Oh well, we've survived worse. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2136 'Please call me Adam' 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2137 We still need to give Trump a chance. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2138 Maybe I was wrong about the world not coming to an end if we skipped dinner with your sister. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2139 I see no earthly reason to wait any longer for the cable guy. Gladys. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2140 Honest. All I did was ‘like’ Alec Baldwin’s impersonation of Trump. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2141 We must have different definitions of the word "great." 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2142 Well, that's that with our reverse mortgage plans.. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2143 Yeah, but we won! Didn't we? 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2144 Just think of this as an opportunity. We needed a new water heater anyway. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2145 I'm not convinced we should abandon the electoral college just yet. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2146 We need to talk 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2147 I hope that cockroaches are an acquired taste. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2148 Actually, a verbal description of our marriage would have sufficed. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2149 well, I am the last man on earth, can we have a date? 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2150 I am still proud to have a President that represents me! 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2151 So you don't think we'll get our deposit back? 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2152 You used hotels.com again, didn't you Frank? 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2153 Your profile said that you are an optimist. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2154 Yes, but Hillary would have been even worse. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2155 Oh, like Hilary would have done any better. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2156 All those years of eating paleo might actually help us. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2157 Ok, maybe I'm second guessing my vote a little.... 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2158 Let's not go to sleep angry. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2159 Alright. Perhaps it was a bit of an overreaction. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2160 Fine, I admit it: casting a protest vote was a mistake. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2161 No one said making it great again was going to be easy. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2162 Ok. I guess I should have voted differently. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2163 "Remember when I said I wanted to see other people? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2164 I should have thought more before voting 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2165 When I ignore the present and forget the past, I really think our best times are ahead. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2166 Remember what Kellyanne Conway said about seeing the goodness in his heart? 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2167 " Don't worry we still have all that money in our 401K' 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2168 Your mother seemed to enjoy her visit. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2169 I guess Trump' first term wasn't too bad. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2170 OK, I admit I voted for him. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2171 Still glad you voted for Trump? 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2172 Is there someone else? 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2173 Well, you always told me things could be worse. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2174 Well, I heard from some very reliable sources that a brand new affordable medical plan will be offered in only two more days. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2175 I guess ordering a pizza is out. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2176 And if I had asked for directions, it would have 'avoided all this' how, exactly? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2177 Should I focus on asset growth or wealth preservation? 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2178 Hey, I didn't vote for him either. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2179 As I've said all along, not even if you are the last man alive. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2180 You know what? It’s about time we had a President who’s not afraid to shake things up. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2181 Well I don't think Hillary would have done any better. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2182 If you say, "let's start from scratch," I'll kill you. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2183 As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted... 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2184 Marry me and half is yours. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2185 Are you available to re-populate this afternoon? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2186 Ah. alone at last! 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2187 Okay, Okay! Yes. I voted for him. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2188 I think we both agree now, cooking is not your forte. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2189 Ok, ok - I'm listening. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2190 Make the wasteland great again. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2191 But now we can make it great again! 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2192 But her emails though. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2193 Now this is deplorable. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2194 He did say he was going to decrease the size of the government. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2195 It's my vote, and I don't regret it. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2196 Do you smell gas? 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2197 You just couldn't wait the five minutes before trying to relight the grill. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2198 On the contrary, Ira, I think it's the perfect time to discuss the bathroom remodel. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2199 Do you think it's too late to refinance? 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2200 Well at least we can finally cancel our E-Harmony accounts. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2201 You said my vote wouldn't matter. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2202 Please, no more beans at supper. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2203 You were right. I shouldn't have voted for him. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2204 That was a disaster. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2205 Can we talk now? 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2206 So...I'm guessing you used to live around here? 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2207 You're sure you read the terms & conditions? 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2208 See? Great again. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2209 Don't you love the peace and quiet? 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2210 Well,you don't see any more swamps,do you? 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2211 Does it really matter if I don't put the toilet seat down? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2212 It's a good time to buy. We're expecting the area to gentrify. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2213 Now will you listen to me? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2214 Don't blame me. I voted for Hillary. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2215 You free tonight ? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2216 Personally, I prefer the hole in the ground a couple of blocks over. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2217 I think this gives us a chance to start over. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2218 We were lucky to have these seats. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2219 I understand. But, what's for dinner? 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2220 You first 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2221 I guess all that's left is football and mixed martial arts. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2222 This never happens when my family visits. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2223 How was traffic? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2224 I'm still not going to date you. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2225 So, we're agreed, direct election of the president, if we find any more survivors. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2226 You probably don't have to deal with my mother any more. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2227 Okay, fine. We'll do it your way. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2228 Flatulence!" "What flatulence? 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2229 Maybe not your dream vacation, but it's affordable. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2230 I think we can qualify for a lower real estate tax assessment. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2231 I'm Evan. I'm the last man on Earth. And you are? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2232 Let's not try to repopulate the world. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2233 So, I guess the meeting's off? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2234 Well, he saved those Indiana jobs from going to Mexico, didn't he? 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2235 Where shall we go for lunch? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2236 Actually, it IS the end of the world Frances. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2237 Not much. You? 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2238 You were right, I shouldn't have pushed that button. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2239 His cap needs a new slogan. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2240 The label clearly said 'Dry Clean Only.' 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2241 I hope the New Yorker's cartoon caption is not yet another obvious reference to Donald Trump 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2242 So, about that 'last man on Earth' thing ... 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2243 Maybe voting for Trump was a bad idea. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2244 I wonder if, in retrospect, he regrets tweeting, 'Go ahead, make my day.' 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2245 Sad! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2246 This gives a whole new meaning to 'starting over'...... 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2247 Somewhere, Hillary Clinton is saying, "I told you so." 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2248 He said that The Button was so small, he mashed it with his elbow when he took the call from Putin. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2249 Technically dear this IS the last place on Earth 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2250 So... what's for dinner. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2251 But those emails... 1.2683 0.06952 82 68 6 8
2252 We'll always have Manhattan. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2253 Make America great again. Step 1. Blow it up. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2254 Finally, alone, just the two of us. 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2255 I meant it when I said, "not even if you were the last man on earth." 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2256 Between you and me... 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2257 I still think she was hiding something in those emails. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2258 I suppose I never really considered the ramifications of voting to "shake things up." 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2259 OK, I take back what I said about if we were the last people on Earth. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2260 Nope, now is not a good time to talk about us. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2261 Maybe we should consider a new anger management counselor. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2262 I guess you were serious when you said you wouldn't have sex with me if I was the last man on Earth. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2263 I think the divorce is going quite well, don't you? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2264 Greatness begins with a clean slate. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2265 Don't give me that look. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2266 Don’t ever insult Melania again. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2267 I like missionary. You? 1.2683 0.06952 82 68 6 8
2268 What's that perfume you're wearing? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2269 I blame Nixon. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2270 Let's time travel to the future, you said. It will be a magical utopia, you said. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2271 You said, and I quote, "affordable timeshare, with plenty of warm sun." 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2272 You never should've made fun of his hands. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2273 Does it change your mind that I am the last guy left? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2274 I warned you what a careless tweet could do. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2275 Well, there's no one else to nag now. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2276 Honey, the points were going to expire if we didn't use them. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2277 Are you waiting for the bus too? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2278 A minor setback. He's still going to make America great again! 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2279 I want a trial separation 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2280 Oh come on, 2016 wasn't that bad. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2281 But what if Godot doesn't come? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2282 I don't care if you are the last man on earth, I don't want to get married. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2283 all i said was pull my finger 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2284 I forget - you would or you wouldn't if I was the last man on earth? 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2285 I suppose you think I had something to do with this? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2286 But SHE used a private email server! 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2287 Maybe we should try divorce mediation, after all. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2288 They bombed our house to make America great again? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2289 I never really liked this place, anyway. 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2290 I'm now thinking we should have voted for Hillary. 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2291 I told you the phrase "Great Again" was subject to interpretation. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2292 Alright. We'll go out for dinner. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2293 Next time, let's not invite your sister. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2294 Okay - this one is my fault. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2295 Hi, my name is Adam. Mind if I call you Eve? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2296 So, apparently this place used to be a swamp. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2297 Yeah, but can you imagine how much worse it would've been if we elected somebody who was AGAINST Russia? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2298 Not with a bang or a whimper, after all, but a tweet. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2299 I'm ready to discuss a cease-fire. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2300 Who woulda thought making us great again meant starting from scratch? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2301 location,location,location 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2302 I thought you knew how to cook. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2303 Sorry I forgot to remove the lint from the dryer. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2304 Want to move in with me? 1.2683 0.05220 82 61 20 1
2305 Just think how worse it would be if Hillary had been elected. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2306 They'll give us the replacement plan any day now. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2307 You want to go for a bite? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2308 How ironic is it that now there's peace and quiet. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2309 Not much. What's new with you? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2310 And I supposed you would like to blame this on me as well 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2311 Wanted peace, but got quiet instead. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2312 Then I said "I double dare you!" 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2313 Do you wanna maybe rethink when you said, 'Not if you were the last man on Earth'? 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2314 In times like these, we need marshmallows. 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2315 I'm an optimist, so I would call it the "beginning of nights" 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2316 ....and this was just day one of the new administration. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2317 I can't wait for Season 2! 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2318 All in all, the first week of the new administration could have been worse. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2319 Should we say something? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2320 But Hillary's emails... 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2321 Remember, we elected him. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2322 Great, now there's no one behind the DMV counter. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2323 I'm sorry but Your policy doesn't cover 'total devastation'. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2324 ...did I mention all the natural lighting? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2325 Are you saying we don't have each other? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2326 So, what is it you wanted to talk about? 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2327 "Vote for him", you said. "He'll make America great again", you said. 1.2683 0.06952 82 68 6 8
2328 Should we order in? 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2329 It's amazing what you can accomplish with a tweet. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2330 Point taken. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2331 Well, now your only choice for a date IS the last man on earth. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2332 Our divorce was hard on everyone. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2333 I have an idea for a Twilight Zone episode. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2334 Did you remember to turn off the bathroom light? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2335 Had to vote for him, didn't you? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2336 So this is what's at the bottom of a swamp. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2337 Now that the swamp's been drained, what's next? 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2338 Well, now we know. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2339 Madam, I'm Adam 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2340 So much for the presidential honeymoon. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2341 We can check that off our bucket list. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2342 Contemporary is out. Apocalyptic is in. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2343 I always fantasized about this moment but with palm trees and sand. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2344 I'm sorry. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2345 "We'll always have Aleppo. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2346 Well, there should be plenty of jobs now. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2347 I wouldn't marry you if you were the last person on Earth. 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
2348 On the bright side, there will be no traffic going home. 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
2349 What are we saving the good china for? 1.2651 0.06658 83 68 8 7
2350 'Lucky you. Now I am the last man on earth.' 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
2351 I told you his Tweet would cause this. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2352 She’s a sore loser but she plays an impressive trump card. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2353 Now that I am the last man on earth, do you want to reconsider that date? 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2354 Now then, where were we? 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2355 See honey, I told you everything would be fine. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2356 Alright already, no more gas furnace repair correspondence courses. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2357 It was impossible to get a table. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2358 Can I call you Eve? 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2359 I know we did it to other countries, that doesn't mean they should've done it back, Barb. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2360 how the fuck is this my fault 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
2361 Next time, let's just talk. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2362 I was right! It took only one week for Trump to blow up the world. You said it would take a month. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2363 Are you still voting Trump again in 2020? 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
2364 The people have spoken. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2365 I'm still not over the emails. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2366 What kind of name is Eve 2.0? 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2367 On the bright side ,we won't have to keep up or even put up with the Joneses any longer. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2368 There you go again. Did you even hear a word I said? 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2369 "I'm still glad I voted for him". 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2370 Well, in order to make it great again we had to destroy it. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2371 These aren't the ruins they mentioned in the guide book. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2372 I told you voting for Trump was a mistake. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2373 Marcy, it's over. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2374 OK, I admit I voted for him. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2375 I don't feel great. Do you feel great? 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2376 You win! It only took two weeks since he was inaugerated. 1.2625 0.06831 80 66 7 7
2377 Bomb shelters are so 50s, you said. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2378 You can't blame this one on my mother. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2379 I'm quitting smoking tomorrow. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2380 We've been through worse. Remember Trump? 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
2381 How about next year we skip the Historic Aleppo tour? 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2382 I know you said "not if you were the last man in the world." I hoped maybe you had reconsidered. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2383 I told you we should have been listening to the weather channel. 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
2384 I told you I had a gluten allergy. 1.2625 0.06831 80 66 7 7
2385 But you did say, 'Whatever it takes to get rid of the rats'—and now you've changed your mind?! 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2386 Well, that’s one way to drain the swamp. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2387 Alexa, cancel armageddon. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2388 Yeah but her emails. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2389 Well, hindsight is always 2020, but I still think 'Make America Great Again' was an appealing concept. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2390 Okay! You win! I should have gone with Hillary! 1.2625 0.07058 80 67 5 8
2391 This is not what I thought he meant by "great" 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2392 Well, do you know any restaurants on the west side? 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2393 This neighborhood will only get better. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2394 Do you think the buses have stopped running? 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2395 I'd vote for him again. 1.2625 0.07058 80 67 5 8
2396 I think the Russians hacked TripAdvisor 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2397 Good thing you canned all that salsa. 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
2398 I thought retirement would have more to offer. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2399 Not smitten. Smote. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2400 Where do you want to scavenge for dinner? 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2401 And that's why there was an electoral college 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2402 We should have agreed to negotiate. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2403 Don't look at me ; I didn't vote for him. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2404 I suggest we stop here and save the rest for our therapy. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2405 Speed dating rules, okay? 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2406 I never imagined that "Make America Great Again" required a complete makeover. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2407 No, I never got around to watching the final episode. So you wouldn't be spoiling it. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2408 I'll see what the deductible is on our policy. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2409 Well, thank God for those emails! Just imagine the fix we'd be in if Hillary had won. 1.2625 0.06831 80 66 7 7
2410 He did say he'd shake things up. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2411 At least he's using the right e-mail server. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2412 Now aren't you glad that we didn't buy that expensive rug. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2413 Does it also mean that tragedy equals comedy minus time? 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2414 So, how has YOUR January 21st been? 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2415 You're right, it's not that great. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2416 See? I told you voting for him wouldn't matter. We're just fine. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2417 I still don't regret my vote. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2418 Did you hear that ? 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2419 Yes, I still don’t like her; and no, I would not change my vote now. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2420 Give him a chance, would you? He's only been in office for a week. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2421 It has to get bad, before it gets 'great again'! 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2422 Don't blame me. I voted for Her 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2423 You are using the word "literally" wrong. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2424 I'm starting to think the liberal elites were right about Trump. 1.2625 0.06831 80 66 7 7
2425 At least he drained the swamp... 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2426 I guess now there is no longer a need for The Wall. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2427 Unfriending them just wasn't enough. 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
2428 It's not the end of the world, Eve. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2429 Adventure and frugal were the only guidelines you gave me on picking our vacation Muriel. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2430 Isn't our second date a little early to start talking about repopulating? 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2431 Hillary should have campaigned in Wisconsin 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2432 So, do you think the bus will be on time? 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
2433 How is this is my fault? 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2434 Ok, I'll grant you the weather does seem to be changing. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2435 What's a nice girl like you doing in a post-apocalyptic world like this? 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2436 Well, at least the neighbor's dog won't wake you up in the morning. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2437 Well, I guess it is a little ironic that I was stockpiling gasoline, explosives and kitchen matches in anticipation of an apocalypse. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2438 They claim his finger slipped when he gave someone the bird. 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
2439 I understand real estate is very cheap here in Aleppo. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2440 Now will you stop smoking! 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
2441 Okay. Now getting back to Hillary's e-mails. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2442 "Well, I guess that's that". 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
2443 Okay, I admit it: I shouldn't have kept saying, 'That's only what he says, not what he means.' 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2444 I've always wanted to start from scratch. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2445 Don't worry dear, Trump will eventually get the hang of it. 1.2593 0.06521 81 66 9 6
2446 Is it really the end of the world if I don't visit your mother? 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2447 Yes, I promise I'll never try to make dinner for us again, Dear..... 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2448 But the important thing is we haven't compromised our principles. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2449 What was it you were saying about "last man on earth?" 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2450 Okay, yes, you had a point. But were we supposed to just ignore those emails? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2451 Now, what did you want to talk about before we were so rudely interrupted? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2452 I *know* you're the last woman on Earth. It's a figure of speech! 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2453 My day was fine, how was yours? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2454 I told you we should have taken the nuclear holocaust rider. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2455 Don't make this into a bigger thing. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2456 Turns out, we paid for it. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2457 I told you a vacation in Syria is a bad idea. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2458 Great again? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2459 Yeah, but at least he got rid of Obamacare! 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2460 Well, if I had to guess, I'd say Eve. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2461 And that'why I think Bernie would have won 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2462 Well, I DO consider this a date. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2463 Maybe we should eat out tonight? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2464 At least I heard the wall on the southern border is still intact. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2465 If it didn't spark joy, I got rid of it. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2466 I thought Vladimir and The Donald were friends! 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2467 Well, at least this solves our illegal immigration problem. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2468 I'd like to have a nuclear family some day. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2469 What were we fighting about? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2470 You still want that divorce? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2471 Yeah, but Hillary's emails. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2472 CheapMideastVacations.com? Good job, honey! 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2473 January 21st isn't as bad as I thought it would be 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2474 I don't suppose we can get takeout. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2475 The first 100 days 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2476 Time to enjoy our empty nest! 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2477 Well, I never promised you a rose garden. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2478 Face it, Doris--our son needs help. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2479 You told me to use the plunger. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2480 It's funny how focused our conversations can be when you wipe away all the distractions. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2481 Well, at least we have our health. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2482 I knew this was coming, but I thought he'd at least get sworn into office first! 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2483 Next time you tap your ruby slippers please don't say, "There's no place like Homs." 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2484 Okay, okay, okay. Maybe, just maybe, Hillary would have been better. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2485 Really not sure where Amazon will be leaving our deliveries. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2486 Don't look at me like that, I voted for Hillary! 1.2532 0.06853 79 66 6 7
2487 What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2488 Maybe now you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior... 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2489 Did you really mean it when you said you wouldn't sleep with me even if I was the only man left on Earth? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2490 I don't think this is the "fresh start" the marriage counsellor envisioned for us. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2491 I told you to read the directions. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2492 I want a divorce. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2493 I think the election turned out fine. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2494 Still better than Hillary. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2495 Honey, I think I forgot to turn the gas off. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2496 I promise, once our luggage arrives you'll feel much better. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2497 My, those were good beans! 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2498 Now will you marry me? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2499 Who'd of thought a Tweet could do all this? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2500 What do we do now, Eve? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2501 Do you mind if I use your bathroom? 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2502 I forgot my safe word. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2503 It appears that gerrymandering has side effects. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2504 Well, we knew Trump was going to change things 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2505 Told you Bernie was the answer. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2506 We won. Still not happy? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2507 All right we're done with the community property. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2508 Makin' America great again requires starting from zero. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2509 The good news is the furniture arrives tomorrow. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2510 I slept with her once, four years ago. Why are we still talking about this? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2511 I think we should go with House Number Two. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2512 Look on the bright side. Hell didn't freeze over. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2513 Shall we eat out tonight? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2514 I told you that vote for Jill Stein was a waste... 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2515 I'm just saying it's a pretty big coincidence that this happened right when you asked me to do the dishes. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2516 I assume this answers your question. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2517 Yes. I put a fork in the toaster. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2518 I suppose this means the bus will be late again. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2519 Why can't you ever look at the bright side? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2520 Are you still mad at me? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2521 Hi Eve. I'm Adam. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2522 Do you think the bus will be on time today? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2523 Well, I'm the last man on earth. How about that date? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2524 Any plans next Tuesday? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2525 And to think he did all of this in his first month. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2526 This is probably an exception to needing a formal introduction first. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2527 Yeah, but think how bad it would've been if she'd won. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2528 I called Geico but the phone was dead. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2529 You said I needed a hobby 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2530 I pick the next vacation destination. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2531 Yes, but she did have her own email server 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2532 Well at least the election is over. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2533 Did I mention that I'm thinking of becoming a vegan? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2534 I'll miss Mexico too. But it was cheaper than building the wall. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2535 How do you feel about procreation? 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2536 Now what? I leveled the playing field...... 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2537 Well this time Mexico can pay for it. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2538 I told you it was off season! 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2539 Yes, he did say "you want to be unpredictable" with nuclear weapons, but you're totally twisting what he meant. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2540 I’ve always wanted to learn Russian. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2541 We'll always have your icy glare. 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
2542 No, I asked you to turn off the stove. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2543 Can we at least agree he was right about Putin's strength? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2544 Care to join me in starting-up the human population again? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2545 At least you don't have to deal with my clutter anymore. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2546 I think the next election should be decided by the popular vote 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2547 Minor side effects are to be expected when making America great again. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2548 But what were you cooking? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2549 I thought he said he was going to make America great again. 1.2532 0.06853 79 66 6 7
2550 So what do you think of Trump now? 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2551 That thing you said about 'Not even if you were the last man on Earth.' Did you mean it? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2552 Finally, America is great again. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2553 No, you're the one who said, 'Vote for Trump. What could go wrong?' 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2554 I'm still peeved about those emails. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2555 So now I suppose we can put your Degree in Dystopian Literature to good use? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2556 But Hillary had a private email server! 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2557 It could have been worse 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2558 I love what you've done with the space. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2559 I blame fake news. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2560 At least now, Trump will not be reelected. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2561 So, are we thinking pizza tonight? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2562 You can't beat the taxes. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2563 You should have been here yesterday 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2564 I thought you turned off the coffeemaker. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2565 Just think of all the celebrity deaths. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2566 So, should I cancel my vasectomy appointment? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2567 I think our side won. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2568 If we give President Trump another four years, I'm sure he'll turn things around. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2569 Looked like a little innocent drone to me. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2570 I told you it would blow over. 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
2571 Don't worry - fake-news 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2572 For the hundredth time, I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2573 I doubt we'll see a taxi for a while. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2574 I don't understand. The bus is usually right on time. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2575 I can't think of anything funny, either. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2576 OK, fine. He didn't make it great again. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2577 You always said not even if you were last man in the world. Care to reconsider? 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2578 What makes you so sure it was Russia? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2579 Ok, NOW your mother can't stay with us. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2580 Where do you see yourself in five years? 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2581 He won. She lost. Get over it. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2582 Honey, this is all they have in our price range. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2583 Al Roker was sure off base with this one 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2584 Don't ever light up a cigarette after judging a Chili cook off. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2585 I still think Hillary shouldn't have had a private email server. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2586 I'm glad we spent all that time on choosing drapes. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2587 Is this what he meant by "Making America great again?" 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2588 So...would you sleep with me now? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2589 Well, at least we didn't vote for the candidate with the private email server 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2590 Is this a bad time to tell you I cancelled our homeowner's insurance to pay the health insurance deductible. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2591 Honey, I don't think this has anything to do with my leaving the toilet seat up. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2592 Have you been on many other first dates lately? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2593 How great is this? Let me tell you. It's so, so great. Believe me. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2594 What community property? 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2595 I suppose your'e going to blame THIS on me? 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2596 He tweeted WHAT about Vladimir? 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2597 That was one hell of a Tweetstorm 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2598 This isn’t the post-election outcome I voted for!! 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2599 Well, I hope the 2020 Inauguration event is better than this one. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2600 Thirsty? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2601 The Trumpet did sound! 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2602 Now that we got that out of the way. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2603 Apparently, 'DRAIN THE SWAMP' was a metaphor. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2604 I wonder how my 401k is doing? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2605 I thought he would be good for the economy. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2606 You said you wanted a disruptive change 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2607 ... but you can call me Adam. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2608 Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have voted for Jill Stein. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2609 You always said, "only if we were the last people on earth"... 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2610 Now he can deliver on his infrastructure-spending promise. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2611 You voted for him, not me. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2612 You have to break a few eggs to make America great again. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2613 Wow, that must have been some tweet! 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2614 It's been a blast, Helen, but I'm outta here! 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2615 I see you're not wearing your 'Make America Great Again' hat 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2616 Ok, we gave him a chance. Now what? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2617 So, I voted for him, so, sue me. 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
2618 I wonder what's holding up the bus this time. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2619 Next year, I'm voting for the Democrat. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2620 We're HERE dear, and we are NO WAY paying a cancellation fee! 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2621 So, you said if we were the last two people on earth... 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2622 Feel better now? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2623 Let's just put it out on the table that neither of us would be our first choice to repopulate the planet and go from there. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2624 I think that this vacation was a total disaster. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2625 Ok, Ok. You were right that it was dangerous to let him near the button. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2626 Really. It's up to us to repopulate. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2627 Sure, but SHE had her own email server 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2628 I bet I know who you voted for. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2629 I'm sorry I clicked on that link. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2630 Split a cab? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2631 Why do we always have to bring other people into our fights? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2632 I was just trying to surprise you with dinner . . . and then Whoosh! 1.2532 0.06853 79 66 6 7
2633 I liked him. He said what was on his mind. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2634 Yes, but emails. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2635 Do you think someone will do something about the election now? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2636 He's running for a second term. 1.2532 0.06853 79 66 6 7
2637 Next time let's follow the instructions! 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2638 I'm sorry about the souffle 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2639 What's the burning issue this time? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2640 So "Ms. I'm-voting-for-Jill-Stein," happy? 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2641 "Fine. Next time, I'll consider voting Democrat. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2642 At least we don't have to visit your folks this summer. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2643 Wanna fool around? 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2644 It doesn't feel like a Sunday. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
2645 Why, I had a great day! After 21 years on the job, I finally got to push the button. 1.2500 0.06536 80 66 8 6
2646 Please, no more garage-sale pressure cookers! 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2647 It was only a little charcoal starter. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2648 But it looked so easy when Emeril did it, honey. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2649 Can we just keep this between us? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2650 How, exactly, was this my fault? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2651 Crazy first hundred days. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2652 You didn't have to blow up like that! 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2653 I told you D.C. would be a bad place to visit this month. 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2654 Let's just hope somebody wins soon. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2655 Yes, I would still vote for him! 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2656 Well, I think I've been exposed to your explosive side... 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2657 My facts still say he was a good president. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2658 At least, he built a wall! 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2659 ...but if only one Russian is left -- we won. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2660 Thoughts? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2661 But it's good for the shareholders. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2662 Come here often? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2663 Now aren’t you glad I paid for the lower deductible? 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2664 No, we're not great again yet, but it's a start 1.2436 0.06873 78 66 5 7
2665 Yes Meryl, yes, you may have underestimated his temper tantrums. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2666 Your move. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2667 Believe me, the deal he made with Putin was absolutely terrific! 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2668 Did you really mean it when you said 'not if you were the last man on earth'? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2669 We should have voted for Hillary. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2670 Still think he's going to "Make America Great Again"? 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2671 So, about that 'last man on Earth' thing ... 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2672 Yeah, but still, the swamp was drained. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2673 Funny how life inmates our marriage. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2674 Oh, yeah? But Benghazi! Missing emails! 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2675 I think this would be a good time to discuss our future together 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2676 I didn't promise you he would be here! I said we could go and wait, but Godot, you know, could be busy... 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2677 seriously....what did you have to lose? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2678 We can still be friends. You make it sound like it's the end of the world! 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2679 NOW will you agree that the Electoral College should be abolished? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2680 Oh, and you weren't curious about the reset button. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2681 But her e-mails... 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2682 But still, her email server. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2683 No, I do not know where you left the remote. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2684 When they said this place was going to experience a population explosion, I had no idea. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2685 And SHE deleted those emails! 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2686 Where should we eat? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2687 Kiss and make up? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2688 It's important that we retaliate swiftly. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2689 On the bright side, our yard looks better than the Joneses. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2690 So, do you still think he's going to make it great again? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2691 At least he used a secure e-mail server to do it. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2692 Look on the bright side. At least the lesser of two evils didn't win. 1.2436 0.06873 78 66 5 7
2693 We'll have to take the trick-of-treaters more seriously next year. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2694 I'm in the mood for love. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2695 It's like when I'm with you nothing else can bother me. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2696 SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY TODAY 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2697 see i told you he'd drain the swamp 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2698 Well, 2016 was interesting 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2699 Well, I feel great again. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2700 Let's not tell anyone we met on Cinder. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2701 We should never have unfriended them. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2702 Well, I certainly haven't forgotten about her emails. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2703 I definitely preferred the Age of Aquarius. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2704 I warned you the lawyers would take it all. 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2705 I'd only heard of the 'Scorned Woman' effect. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2706 Well, if he's going to make America great again, it's better to start from scratch. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2707 Maybe he meant South America. 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2708 So, you're still standing by your vote? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2709 Well, love is a battlefield. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2710 Do you still want to see LA LA LAND? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2711 Now will you sign the papers? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2712 Please don't say 'I told you so,' but you were right about that mattress tag. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2713 Bad day at work sweetie? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2714 Yes, Dear, I heard you say you smelled gas, but the Giants were about to score. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2715 to think it all started with the Tweet heard 'round the world... 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2716 Touchy battery in my smart phone. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2717 At least our molecular structure remains intact. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2718 We'll find out what's happened. Hand me the remote. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2719 For the sake of argument, let's just imagine I AM the last man on Earth. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2720 Given the current political landscape, 2016 seems like such a distant memory. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2721 You were right. We should have tried marriage counselling. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2722 You started it. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2723 Go ahead, blame it on Trump. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2724 What, we're still together?? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2725 On the bright side, I no longer feel bloated and gassy. 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2726 So much for the elephant in the room. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2727 For the last time, yes I'm sure I locked the front-door before we left. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2728 And they also took away my Obamacare. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2729 Well... not quite the first 100 days I was expecting. Coffee? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2730 I never thought I would meet someone who also liked earthquakes. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2731 Ok! Alright! I'll never invite the guys over again! 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2732 At least he didn't have a private email server. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2733 I still think he was a better choice than Hillary. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2734 Well, he did get rid of all the Muslims. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2735 I told you I'm no chef. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2736 OK, maybe laissez-faire capitalism isn't effective 100% of the time, but MOST of the time it works just fine. 1.2436 0.07111 78 67 3 8
2737 I clearly said, "the one on the left is the reset button and the one on the right is the launch button" 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2738 Not even if you were the last man on earth... 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2739 "Like a box of chocolates", you say? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2740 Next vacation let's check with TripAdvisor before booking. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2741 I can't remember if I closed the garage door. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2742 Well... I'm now the last man on Earth. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2743 Is that a"no"? 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2744 It would have been worse if Hillary was elected. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2745 Would you vote differently next time? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2746 You asked me to nuke dinner. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2747 I always thought it was the First 100 days that were significant, not just Day 1. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2748 I won't admit anything. I still think Hillary would have been worse. 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2749 Now, as I was saying. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2750 I thought you would cancel my Trump vote! 1.2436 0.06873 78 66 5 7
2751 So, how do you think the date is going so far? 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2752 I voted for Trump...You? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2753 Eve, you once told me 'Adam, I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.' Care to reconsider? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2754 I told you not to antagonize him on Twitter. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2755 It seems you and I have hit a rough patch. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2756 When you said, if you were the last man on earth... 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2757 Well, at least he tweeted us first 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2758 I got rid of the spider. Satisfied? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2759 Not that I'd ever say, "I told you so". 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2760 Who knew Twitter could be so dangerous? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2761 Ok, ok, I voted for him. I never thought he'd WIN. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2762 Oh? You take this as a sign that Putin isn't our friend? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2763 I am sure this is just part of the plan to make America great again 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2764 I take back what I said I wouldn't do even if we were the last two people on this earth. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2765 Well you started it. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2766 I already told you: I wouldn't kiss you if you were the last man on earth. 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2767 There goes our theatre subscription. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2768 Is this what he meant by "Making America great again?" 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2769 I guess we should have asked how he was going to be the greatest job creator God has ever seen. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2770 I realize it was a good deal, you booked well in advance, and it's Aleppo's high season but you had to buy non-refundable tickets? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2771 Upside: You said you wanted to downsize. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2772 My name's Adam and you are? 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2773 Yes, I was a boy scout. Why? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2774 But I'm the only man left! 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2775 I think your Flambe' went FlamBoom. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2776 I thought it was just a video game. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2777 I still wouldn't vote for anyone with a private e-mail server. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2778 Well, we bought this house for the land. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2779 So Alice, tell me again why building a bomb shelter was the most ridiculous idea you ever heard. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2780 I told you, we should have voted for Hillary! 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2781 I said Air BnB, not Air TnT!! 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2782 Not my idea of "great again." 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2783 It's the 'we still have each other', that worries me. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2784 We are NOT going to your Mother's. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2785 OK, so you were right. And I know Twitter is gone, but I'll bet he finds a way to tell us how bigly he personally destroyed the other guys. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2786 I'm fairly sure today is your day to clean. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2787 Okay, so that wasn't my photo in the profile. I still need you to repopulate the earth with me. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2788 It seems that instead of trying so hard to read what was in the candidate's heart, we could have just listened to the words coming out of his mouth. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2789 I told you time travel can be unpredictable. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2790 And then I said "If you're really the Hulk, prove it!" 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2791 Do you remember when we were first married and we had nothing... 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2792 There is no going back to the way things were between us, George. You've ruined everything. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2793 "You still think paying off the mortgage early was a good idea"? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2794 Lesson learned. A blender is not a good gift. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2795 Maybe we shouldn't have grounded him for the whole weekend. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2796 Should we get started on repopulating the planet? 1.2436 0.04892 78 59 19 0
2797 And to think this all started when Bill Clinton got a blow job by Monica Lewinsky. 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2798 After this, anything would be great again. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2799 Well ... we've still got each other... 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2800 Left the stove on again, didn't you? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2801 So much for checks and balances. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2802 So that's what the hazard light was all about. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2803 Your cat had something to do with this, didn't he? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2804 What else do you need to know about me before we reboot humanity? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2805 Oh, and another thing, I don't care for your tactics, Catherine. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2806 It's good to be on the winning side! 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2807 Sorry...I thought he'd just continue the tweeting. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2808 So much for choosing a vacation spot by a spin of the globe. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2809 But on the plus side, think of all the new jobs rebuilding infrastructure. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2810 Well, you did tell the travel agent you hated crowds. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2811 As your financial advisor, I strongly suggest you continue with the maximum contribution to your retirement account... 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2812 But no. You just had to push the button. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2813 Well you can’t get more ‘fixer-upper’ than this. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2814 No, Carl. This has nothing to do with my period. 1.2436 0.06873 78 66 5 7
2815 So do you still stand by your Jill Stein vote? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2816 You told me I should cook for once 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2817 Don't worry. We get to vote again in four years! 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2818 That was a bit rash, don't you think? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2819 We might be the last couple to have met on Cinder. 1.2436 0.06873 78 66 5 7
2820 Wel, we were planning to down size sooner or later. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2821 Now that I'm the last man alive will you reconsider your policy on not dating coworkers? 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2822 You can't seriously be blaming me for THIS one. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2823 The instructions? Yes. But no, not in their entirety, per se. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2824 Ooops 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2825 I'm Sorry, Honey. You were right. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2826 America's great again. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2827 Okay, I guess I'm no Walter White. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2828 I DID vote for Hillary, honest.... 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2829 Really, we have an OBLIGATION to perpetuate the human race? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2830 So are you also just blowin' through town? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2831 Apparently, no one thought to explain to the president the meaning of 'carpet bombing.' 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2832 Yes, that's correct, I am now the last man on earth. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2833 Why did Streep have to open her big mouth? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2834 It's not my idea of great, either. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2835 Frankly my dear I don't give a damn 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2836 Now that I AM the last man in the world will you reconsider? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2837 So .... what's new? 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2838 And people thought 2016 was the end of the world. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2839 I missed the real estate boom 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2840 Sorry but they said they had come in peace. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
2841 Like I always said, we'd survive. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2842 Okay, you can keep the house in the settlement 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2843 'The travel agent did say this would be a hell of a place to visit.' 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2844 President Trump has certainly hit the ground running. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
2845 And all I'm saying is, I very likely am the last man on earth . . . 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
2846 You said there would be other couples 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2847 Hey, I found the plans on the internet. I didn't think it would really work. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2848 I sense another blow-up coming. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2849 I still stand by my vote. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2850 Don't look at me. It was your demographic that put him over 270. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2851 I suppose my chap stick was in your purse. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2852 "I told you so," is getting old, Florence. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2853 I see your point. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2854 I'll agree to counseling if you agree to control your wrath. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2855 Your mother had something to do with this, didn't she? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2856 "Sorry, Honey". 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2857 So, you wanna get back together? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2858 Believe me, the deal he made with Putin was just terrific! 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2859 You're surprised? 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2860 You said "If you was the last man on Earth"... 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2861 Was it really necessary to get rid of everything to make it great again? 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2862 Shall we go out for some pizza? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2863 I swear, there was a Starbucks right here the last time I was in Mosul 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2864 Okay. They should have repealed AND replaced. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2865 The ad did say this property needs some fixing up. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2866 Let's not argue. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2867 Now that I'm the last man on earth, can I have a kiss? 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2868 I knew we shouldn't have voted for Trump. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2869 Don't give me that look! All I did was vote for the guy... 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2870 But he said he'd make America great again... 1.2368 0.06976 76 65 4 7
2871 I told you Airbnb was a bad idea for Aleppo. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2872 Do you still think Trump will get 4 more years? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2873 See? I told you it was too much cayenne. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2874 Was that if or unless I was the last man on earth? 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2875 ...AND I'm missing the new season of Sherlock. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2876 Well, that was a fun first date. What do you want to do tonight? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2877 Come on Martha, Detroit is not that bad. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2878 I told you to look on Tripadvisor. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2879 My travel agent said this place is the bomb. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2880 Well, if I knew that Judgement Day was coming today I would have worn a tie. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2881 I'm just getting out of a relationship. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2882 There are things I miss about the old swamp. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2883 Wrong again! I'm the President and you're the First Lady! 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2884 I told you to make sure the toaster was unplugged! 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2885 Let's just forget about the past 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2886 Don't blame me, you're the one that voted for him 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2887 On the bright side, it appears splitting the house will be less complicated than I had anticipated. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2888 Yes, I'm the last man on earth. Would you please just deal with it? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2889 North Jersey. You? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2890 Now that we've agreed on the distrubution of our assets, let's contact our respective attorneys and call it a wrap. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2891 Don't give me that look: I didn't even vote! 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2892 I'm glad we settled this argument calmly and quietly. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2893 You can't blame me for everything. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2894 Wanna have sex? 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2895 I guess our lawyers took scorched earth literally. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2896 Hell yes, it could be worse. Hillary could've won. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2897 I don't think people use pressure cookers, anymore. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2898 Ok fine, but you have to admit he built a damn good wall. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2899 We have to start meeting like this.. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2900 Of course not. No one is left to marry us. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2901 You can keep the kids... 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2902 The Joneses' rubble heap is bigger than ours. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2903 Fine, we'll go see your parents. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2904 It's repealed. But will it be replaced? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2905 Yeah, but you said "Be a man, install the propane fireplace yourself" 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2906 Interesting that we meet on match.com, though. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2907 Yeah ok, but what about Benghazi? 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2908 It was listed as hot real estate. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2909 We bought this house for the land, anyway. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2910 ...as I was saying before we were interrupted... 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2911 Like I said a year ago, 'Not even if we were the last man and woman on Earth.' 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2912 He huffed & he puffed. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2913 Did you turn off the stove? 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2914 Don't give me that look. I voted for Bernie. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2915 I guess it's time to make America great...again. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2916 On the bright side, we won't need to keep up with the Jones'. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2917 I asked you, most politely, not to dabble in witchcraft. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2918 I bet my day was worse. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2919 Care to reconsider that last bit about how you "wouldn't marry me if I was the last man on earth"? 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2920 Worst. Match.com. Date. Ever. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2921 Just wait, in his second term he'll get things turned around. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2922 Oh, so now I'm supposed to STOP talking about how I feel? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2923 Guess we bombed on our first date? 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2924 actually, I said "how about a little 'nookie' ? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2925 Still, a good war. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2926 Thank you for joining up for our anger management group. Usually there's a long waiting list, but lucky for you, that changed recently. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2927 Have it your way...it was an apocalypse, not a cataclysm 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2928 Donageddon. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2929 Okay, you've made your point. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2930 You look different than your profile picture 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2931 Just a guess but I'd say either ISIS or Kellyanne Conway. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2932 Two weeks in and the Trump presidency isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2933 Hi. I'm Adam 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2934 Maybe restarting the nuclear arms race wasn't the best idea. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2935 The wifi is out. I guess we'll have to...umm... talk. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2936 Now I am the last man on Earth. I am not going to ask the question again, but I do hope you will reconsider. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2937 I may have crossed the red and green wires. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2938 Still feel bloated? 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2939 You said I would regret it. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2940 Did you remember to cancel our Netflix account? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2941 There's no need to shout. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2942 You're hired. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2943 Well maybe hell hath no fury like you but this is extreme 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2944 Well Hellen I am the last man on earth. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2945 Couldn't you just try to give him a chance? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2946 Would you still vote for him? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2947 No, I didn't read the reviews on Trip Advisor... 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2948 Hey, I didn't vote for him! 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2949 Yes, dear, we still have each other. Your point? 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2950 Your turn, Hil 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2951 Don't tell me. You just had another hot flash. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2952 What do you mean, you win? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2953 President Donald J Trump. What could go wrong? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2954 I think I'm ready to take that vacation you keep asking about. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2955 So much for protest votes. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2956 You wouldn't date me if I was the last man on earth so you may want to reconsider 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2957 Now are you ready to move? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2958 It seems your withering commentary has finally gone too far. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2959 Yes, I cut the wrong wire, but you need to sandwich that between two compliments. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2960 I feel like Italian tonight. How about you? 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2961 Well, I never thought you would actually USE the nuclear option. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2962 Well apparently you ARE the last person on earth 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2963 Don't worry next one will be fantastic. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2964 Don't think this gets you off the hook for Valentine's Day, Kevin. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2965 He's GREAT builder. The best. 1.2368 0.06976 76 65 4 7
2966 Nothing is ever good enough for you. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2967 Proud to be the gentrification vanguard! 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2968 United States - Jan. 20, 2017 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2969 Turns out the end IS nigh. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2970 I see you know how to cover your tracks. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2971 Well, I guess the meek will inherit the earth after all. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2972 Okay, next time we can try your idea. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2973 Did you remember to turn the stove off? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2974 I thought you turned it off! 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2975 At least I remembered to take out the garbage. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2976 Hey, I didn't vote for him! 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2977 Next time, I’ll be voting for ‘change’ again. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2978 We should probably be going now. .. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2979 Well that wall idea sure bombed. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2980 I think our fights are getting a little out of hand. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2981 NOW are you happy? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2982 What were we fighting about again? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2983 When he said "make America great again," this is not what I pictured. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2984 So, what are you thinking for dinner tonight? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2985 I still say we should give him a chance. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2986 I said, Show me Siri. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2987 Do you live here or are you just visiting? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2988 Our relationship is in ruins. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2989 It looked much nicer on Yelp. 1.2368 0.06976 76 65 4 7
2990 Right again, dear. Happy now? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2991 We need a new toaster. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2992 'You don't look like your Tindr profile at all.' 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2993 Yeah, but the other one couldn't keep track of her emails. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2994 "Next time, Marla my dear, please vote". 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2995 So much for make america great again. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2996 The world ended and all you want to crab about is how I don't have a job. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2997 You mean "turn off the gas" wasn't a metaphor? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2998 I used to meet people on line. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2999 Still want me to give him a chance? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3000 I typed "shalom" but autocorrect made it "shell 'em." 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3001 The reviews were on point regarding an authentic, "post war" experience. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3002 Well, that his 1st 100 days..... 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3003 I think I killed the spider... 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
3004 I find this all a bit disconcerting, don't you? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3005 Next time we host a party, don't invite your sister and her kids! 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3006 Okay--maybe I did leave the gas on. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3007 At least he drained the swamp... 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3008 I told you he would save the middle class. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3009 You left my life in ruins. I want to see other people. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3010 Well, at least abortion is illegal again. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3011 He shouldn't have called her over-rated. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3012 Yes honey, it's safe to say I didn't call Dig Safely. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3013 We'd better get started on re-populating the planet. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3014 He said he was delegating the Daily Security Briefings.... 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3015 I said "until hell freezes over." Not "the last man on Earth." You never listen. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3016 O K you win. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3017 Say, can I have some of your purple berries? 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
3018 My name's Samuel. Samuel Beckett. Who'd you say you're waiting for? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3019 I still say I smell something burning 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3020 So what was I supposed to do? The button said: 'DO NOT PUSH.' 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3021 It's too soon to comment. Let's wait and see what happens next. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3022 How could you forget our Passports? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3023 Well don't try that recipe again. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3024 Don't look at me, you voted for him. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3025 You are the one who wouldn't add Alien Attack insurance coverage. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3026 Now, he will make America great again. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3027 I told you we didn't need and extended warranty for the washer. 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
3028 I know, it's my fault 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3029 Would now be a good time to say "I told you so"? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3030 The brochure said we'd be visiting recently discovered ruins. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3031 I know. I know I told you it would all be fine. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3032 I just wanted our first date to be really memorable. Too much? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3033 Shall we stay in or go out? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3034 I agree. Junior gets no more chemistry sets. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3035 I meant it when I said I wouldn't marry you even if you were the last woman on Earth. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3036 Mind if I smoke? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3037 The principle called, that boy is nothing but trouble. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3038 Well, rent is a lot less than midtown. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3039 What can I say? How do I know when 'Do not push this button' means do not push this button? 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3040 You voted for him, I didn't. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3041 I feel a draft. Do you feel a draft? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3042 I say he's the president and we have to give him a chance. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3043 Well if you knew what Aleppo was, you should have said so before we bought the tickets. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3044 The bus is never this late. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3045 Repeat after me; I will never host a family gathering near a national election again. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3046 TripAdvisor did describe this tour as 'devastating.' 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3047 Okay, OKAY! No more nasty tweets about Trump. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3048 This wasn't my idea of a nuclear family. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
3049 Trumpageddon. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
3050 It's all Obama's fault. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3051 Have you seen my "Make America great again" hat? 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
3052 So, would you care to rethink that "not if we're the last two people on Earth" comment? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3053 We're now between a rock and a hard place. 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
3054 I said I wanted a mind-blowing experience, not a mine blowing experience.... 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3055 Well, so much for the old 'exploding cigar' gag. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3056 Do you remember if I turned off the gas before I left the house? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3057 No, I said I _wouldn't_ marry you if you were the last woman on earth. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3058 Your chocolate cake was dynamite! 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3059 I'll believe in global warming when I see some actual proof. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3060 We never should have let him drain the swamp. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3061 I told you not to vote for Trump. 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
3062 I don't think "mansplaining" is our biggest issue right now, Deborah. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3063 And this is after he drained the swamp. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3064 It appears we are getting a do over, so this time stay away from the forbidden fruit 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3065 We'll always have Canada. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3066 That turkey was overstuffed and you know it. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3067 What I said was, "Let's try to spend a few days in a balmy environment." 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3068 You were the one who wanted to try Airbnb. 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
3069 On the whole the Make America Great Again Campaign hasn't gone badly. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3070 I knew we should have taken an earlier flight. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3071 It's great again. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3072 All-in-all, I think the divorce came out just about even. Have you seen the kids? 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
3073 Ok, ok. You win! You can be President! 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3074 Yeah I voted for Trump. Why? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3075 Sorry about dinner. Should we just order in? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3076 You said you wanted to go to somewhere exotic. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3077 This is exactly why I told you not to comment on Internet articles. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3078 I wanted a little alone time with you. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3079 Don't look at me ; I didn't vote for him. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3080 Stop complaining. Ruins are ruins. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3081 I don't know .... I just didn't think she was that likable. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
3082 I know, I can't think of anything funny to say either! 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3083 Do you really think this is a good time to burn our bridges? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
3084 Do you come here often? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
3085 I tried to tell you, but noooo..., you wouldn't listen. You just went ahead and 'clicked' on it anyway. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
3086 So, after you put the pork chops on the grill, you went back inside for how long? 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
3087 At least I didn't play my violin. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
3088 I was hoping death would do us part. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
3089 So, where do you live? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
3090 I think I left the stove on. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
3091 Did we leave the oven on? 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
3092 See I told you the country would survive Trump! 1.2267 0.06731 75 64 5 6
3093 Did you make the insurance payment this month? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3094 Are you going to go nuclear on me? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3095 Now that I am the last man on earth, I hope you will reconsider your decision to not date me. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3096 Is this what he meant by "making it great again?" 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3097 At least the wall is still standing 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3098 And you're the last man left? There must be a re-set button 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3099 You said "If you was the last man on Earth"... 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3100 Where would you like to go for dinner? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3101 I'm sorry. I only meant it as a protest vote. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3102 The infrastructure upgrade bill might pass now. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3103 We must have forgotten to turn the oven off. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3104 I told you not to deep fry the turkey. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3105 It looks like the last tweet did not make America great again. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3106 Ok Margaret, you win. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3107 Well this is a fine mess you've gotten us into this time. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3108 Small hands don't matter. All you need is a small finger to push the button. 1.2267 0.06731 75 64 5 6
3109 Now you're fuming? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3110 Remind me again what 'emails' were. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3111 I told you it was not microwave safe! 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3112 Martha, our relationship is in ruins. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3113 Now, hopefully, our little spat is over. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3114 Oh yeah, it’s always my fault, isn’t it, Martha? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3115 So what if I WAS the last man on earth? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3116 Well, you voted for him! 1.2267 0.06731 75 64 5 6
3117 I never promised you a rose garden. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3118 So since we're the LAST two people on Earth now . . . 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3119 You're right, I should have voted for Hillary. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3120 Your anger management therapy doesn’t seem to be working very well. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3121 Too much chili? 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3122 Well, Jan, it's no longer hypothetical. I am the last man on earth and, for humanity's sake, you've got some pride to swallow. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3123 This isn't as great as I remember. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3124 So, what do you wanna do for lunch? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3125 We sure are lucky. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3126 You never take me anywhere. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3127 To be fair, the brochure did not describe the ruins to be explored were ancient. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
3128 Man, 2017 is going to be my year. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3129 Okay fine, I voted the wrong way. Are you happy now? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3130 So much for your, 'They wouldn't dare drop the big one!' 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3131 At least we finally have that ocean view from our window. 1.2267 0.04867 75 58 17 0
3132 Now, where was I? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3133 You shouldn't have told him that his hands were small. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3134 I will never again question your intuition. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3135 I miss TV. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3136 I trust the make-up sex will be even more epic. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3137 So, what are you fixing for supper? 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3138 Okay. You were right. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3139 But our last building was prewar. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3140 'Nothing much. What's new with you?' 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3141 Well, we still have each other. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3142 Yes honey, I'm positive this is the Hard Rock Cafe. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3143 "I'm voting for Trump", she said. "He speaks his mind", she said. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3144 So much for our reverse mortgage. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3145 Do you suppose we should have taken the tuna fish out of the can before microwaving it? 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3146 Fair enough, but on the other hand, she did have her email on a private server. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3147 You're right, I shouldn't have voted to drain the swamp. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3148 Your dad was right, it took about 30 years to see the results of his presidency. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3149 So I'm pretty sure I left the stove on. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3150 I still think you can never use too much lighter fluid. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3151 This is the greatest America ever. 1.2267 0.06731 75 64 5 6
3152 Honey, I was convinced I fixed it 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3153 Anyway, how was YOUR 2016? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3154 I take back what I said about the "last woman on earth". 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3155 I think we threw away our vote. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3156 What were you saying about global warming? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3157 Didn't I tell you NOT to touch the thermostat? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3158 I hope I haven't destroyed our relationship in the process . 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3159 As you can see there's a lot here left to gentrify. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3160 I still think we're better off with Trump. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3161 Yes, I AM the last hope for the human species. 1.2267 0.06731 75 64 5 6
3162 I told you Trump wouldn't completely destroy the country. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3163 Well, I guess your mother was right. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3164 I'm really going to miss my filing cabinet. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3165 Fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on your next insurance policy. 1.2267 0.04867 75 58 17 0
3166 So where'd you put the remote? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3167 So this is what rock bottom feels like. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3168 I still say he deserves a second term. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3169 I guess he really didn't care if North Korea got nuclear weapons. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3170 Obviously I'm going to read the Airbnb reviews before booking next time. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3171 Okay, now that you've made your point.... 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3172 Fake bomb, fake bomb, so sad. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3173 Marry me and all of this could have been yours! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3174 This isn't a New Yorker cartoon, you know. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3175 Let's never fight again. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3176 First repeal, then replace. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3177 So this is what they mean by a Tinder date? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3178 At last, the last person on earth! 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3179 This is cool. What else is on your bucket list? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3180 Sadly, it's no longer a metaphor. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3181 Why aren't you making dinner? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3182 It's nice to see the EPA and HUD starting to work together. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3183 I think there's a bit more to it than me falling asleep with my pipe lit. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3184 I see I've finally gotten your attention. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3185 Wouldn't a mouse trap have been easier? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3186 It was a huge success. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3187 Insurance. How about you? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3188 ok fine, your right, there's probably a better way to start the pilot light on the stove 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3189 What about now that I _am_ the last man on Earth? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3190 You should have said something when you saw something. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3191 I know, I know but come on! Did you see her emails? 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3192 We'll rebuild. Guatemala will pay. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3193 If not apocalypse NOW, when then, Janet, when? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3194 A little fixer-upper to begin with. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3195 So, where are you from? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3196 How is it that these vacations only seem to qualify as disasters when I select the destination? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3197 Well, he said he knew more than the CIA and the generals. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3198 so... I guess this is what they meant by "great again" 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3199 At least it will be a memorable first date. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3200 Yes, as a matter of fact, I would still have voted for Trump. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3201 See... didn't I tell you that life would still go on. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3202 Here's to Donald Trump 2017! 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3203 North Korea looked so nice in the propaganda. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3204 So, have you started dinner yet? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3205 Oh yeah, this is still Hillary's fault for not getting elected 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3206 Take what the president-elect says symbolically, not literally. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3207 I was pleasantly surprised to meet a kindred spirit on Match: someone who also found post-apocalyptic settings to be romantic. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3208 Do you believe in love at first sight? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3209 Well, that was a heck of an election. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3210 Does HGTV have post nuclear fixer-upper? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3211 this... this is the worst that could've happened. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3212 There goes our health care. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3213 So, what else is new? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3214 I know a determined developer when I see one. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3215 Not to fear. This is just what Detroit needed. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3216 See, I told you... I'm a woman scorned. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3217 I believed him when he said he was going to end terrorism; I just thought there would be a few more left on earth. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3218 This reminds me of a story... 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3219 Yes, but he DID build that wall. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3220 Fine, the photos do do it justice. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3221 Now are you sorry you voted for him? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3222 The review said 'elegant austerity.' You try finding a better place to stay in Aleppo. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3223 Then Trump got on his twitter account to respond to the accusation. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3224 I told you he would press the button. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3225 We'll always have Glasnost. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3226 No. I STILL won't go out with you, even if you ARE the last man on earth! 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3227 It's a chance for us to get to know each other again... 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
3228 So what was your position in the Trump administration? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3229 You shouldn't have made those incendiary remarks 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3230 I told you not to touch the remote. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3231 Face it, Helen. We're just no good for each other. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3232 Hon, sorry. We're between a rock and a hard place. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3233 But at least he tells it like it is. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3234 I wouldn't go out with you again if you were the last man on earth. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3235 Why are you looking at me like that, you voted for him. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3236 Thanks for meeting with me... 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3237 Now, where were we? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3238 I have a nagging feeling I left the stove on. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3239 Well, it was, "huuuge." 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3240 I'm tired of winning. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3241 So much for a president who tells it like it is. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3242 Well, who did YOU vote for? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3243 But have you seen his ratings? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3244 Honey I unclogged the sink. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3245 At least we showed those cockroaches, didn't we? 1.2267 0.04867 75 58 17 0
3246 On the bright side, these are preferable to that hideous sectional. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3247 At this point I'd say that the lack of room service is a moot point. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3248 This is the worst shore excursion ever. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3249 That's the last time I buy a toaster oven on clearance. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3250 I'd ask you out - but we already are. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3251 I still say I'm not going to your mother's. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3252 Okay, maybe I shouldn't have voted for him. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3253 Did you pay the President Liability Policy Premium? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3254 So big business is running the goverment. It's not the end of the world. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3255 Well, Mr. Goosestep, you got exactly what you wanted- a male president who knows how to shake things up. 1.2267 0.06731 75 64 5 6
3256 Yeah, well Trump said they started it. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3257 I keep telling you -- I DIDN'T vote for him! 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3258 I guess you have to say YES now! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3259 No, still not interested. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3260 I always knew getting that vasectomy was a bad idea. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3261 You said you wanted unobstructed views 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
3262 Something must have delayed Godot. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3263 All righty, then. Let's revisit Plan B. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3264 Our first date was a blast. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3265 Don't look at me like that. I voted for Obama. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3266 I misinterpreted the AIRBnB review. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
3267 The app says all busses are running on schedule 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
3268 Will you date me now? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3269 Wow, that was close. Now where do we go for lunch? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3270 Don't say no to a fresh start. 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3271 Ok, fine. You were right. A Trump presidency was one of the signs of the Apocalypse. 1.2237 0.06379 76 64 7 5
3272 Sure, there have been a few bumps in the road, but you don't see any immigrants around, do you? 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3273 Look on the bright side. It'll only take four or eight years to rebuild. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3274 Let's give it a chance with an open mind... 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3275 There was this video, 'Re-light your gas heater's pilot." That's all I remember. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3276 For the last time, no, I didn't vote for him either! 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3277 I wasn't kidding when I said if You were the last guy on earth. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3278 So what made you swipe right? 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3279 You just couldn't ask for directions. 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
3280 And to think that an angry tweet led to all this. 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3281 This is why you can't go home again. 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3282 Thanks Obama! 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3283 How was I to know five-year-olds could be so hard to control? 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3284 Really, I'm surprised it took this long 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3285 Ok, so the inauguration was more than I expected.... 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3286 It was the meeting to end all meetings. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3287 Emily, I want a divorce. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3288 where do you think you parked the car? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3289 Did I say "the LAST woman on earth?" 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3290 You're the one who voted for him, I didn't. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3291 Have you seen "La La Land" yet? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3292 And THAT is why you don't feed aardvarks nitroglycerin. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3293 What's your next idea Honey? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3294 Again now. The smoke alarm is not a cooking timer. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3295 You say that about all my friends 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3296 You couldn't just agree to a simple divorce, could you... 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3297 We need to talk 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3298 I am the last man on earth. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3299 I told you not to vote for him. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3300 no worry dear; they said they'd replace after the repeal, 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3301 I TOLD you our son was running with a bad crowd. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3302 You're right, counseling might not be that bad an idea. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3303 I'll take the car... you can have the house. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3304 Ok--Maybe the Trump years didn't quite live up to Obama Presidency after all. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3305 Look on the bright side. You always wanted to redecorate. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3306 I just told him, "Delete your twitter account." 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3307 Besides that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3308 But really, when is a good time for a blind date? 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3309 Fortunately, our mutual contempt remains intact. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3310 And then I swiped left and boom. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3311 Let's eat dinner out tonight. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3312 You gotta admit it just doesn't get any greater than this! 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3313 "On the upside, no more vacuuming! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3314 Is your mother still coming for dinner? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3315 How did this place get a 5 star review for vacation 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3316 "This is your fault". 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3317 I told you to just call an electrician. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3318 I can't believe, Carrie, that you're still angry about a silly high school prom. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3319 Yes, the New Yorker subscription is terminated. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3320 Well, at least now we know what happens when you put Metallica in the microwave... 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3321 It looked like a nice place in the brochure. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3322 I suppose you'll be wanting to go out for dinner … 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3323 I still want the vacation house. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3324 Do you think we should tweet about this? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3325 OK then, Next time we'll do it your way! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3326 So this is Make America Great Again? 1.2162 0.06740 74 64 4 6
3327 "I'm confused - I thought he said he'd make America great again". 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3328 "However unlikely." Your words, not mine. 1.2162 0.06740 74 64 4 6
3329 I told you to vote. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3330 Did you read his latest tweet? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3331 Match.com will never know how exciting our first date was. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3332 I guess it's not as funny as I thought it would be... 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3333 … And I understand that the zoning ordinances are very flexible in this neighborhood …. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3334 Don't blame me I wanted Clinton 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3335 I swear there's nothing else... 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3336 I guess your mother finally has to move out. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3337 You waiting for the nuclear bus as well? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3338 I guess they didn't care for the deal. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3339 Next time I pick the restaurant. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3340 You could've pick up a little. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3341 I guess we should cancel the cleaning service for this week. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3342 The service here at Smithereens is just terrible. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3343 Fine, you win...I'll ask for directions next time. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3344 I’ve been lighting farts since I was twelve and consider today’s effort to be my greatest achievement. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3345 Do you have any plans this weekend? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3346 Tell me again why you voted for Trump? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3347 I always regretted promising to love you 'til the end of time but I'm glad it finally came. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3348 I think it was some guy in his house from New Jersey. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3349 You don't looked pleased! 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3350 My bucket list? Paris and the Maldives. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3351 Looks like a telework day. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3352 I'll have a contractor look at it tomorrow. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3353 Ow that we've downsized, what's next on the agenda? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3354 You were saying? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3355 Well, that's that. So what's for lunch? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3356 Stay Out of the Kitchen! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3357 Wanna have sex? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3358 You in the mood for some sushi? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3359 I said I'm sorry. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3360 First time in twenty years there's no honey do list. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3361 Well ... one good thing is, your mother's visit is finally over. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3362 I always wanted a fresh start! 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3363 I told you, we should have voted for Hillary! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3364 I don't think they are going to have the Early Bird Special. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3365 How about something Cajun? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3366 Um...maybe launching a preemptive strike against Russia for leaking emails went a little too far..." 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3367 I told you so. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3368 Finally meeting you was a blast. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3369 I told you you shouldn't ask me to help cook dinner. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3370 OK, honey, we'll try it your way now. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3371 Still say you didn't leave the oven on? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3372 At least it's near the 4 train. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3373 So I was wrong. I thought he would make America great again. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3374 Now, can we check this off your Bucket List? 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3375 I had no idea that's how you felt. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3376 Four years???? It only took him four days! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3377 You've always wanted a fresh start! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3378 I don't know. Where do YOU want to scavenge for food? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3379 I think I left the iron on. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3380 Thank you for your convincing demonstration of hot flashes 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3381 You know what they say: with great power comes #Tremendous destruction. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3382 But all the polled meteorologists said it would miss us. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3383 Now look what you've done.... 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3384 I thought you said he was only repealing Obamacare 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3385 Peaceful, isn't it? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3386 Well, did you have a better plan for urban renewal? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3387 Well, there goes the first 100 days... 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3388 You don't respect facts and you never did. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3389 Do we have to talk about this now, dear? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3390 I told you those beans gave me indigestion. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3391 I suppose now we’ll have to move. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3392 God bless you. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3393 Armageddon hungry, how about you? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3394 You said you turned of the gas. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3395 How ironic, we both voted for Trump, 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3396 Your Mother seemed stressed. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3397 should've swiped left 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3398 I guess we'll have to go out to eat. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3399 I told you I smelled something burning 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3400 OK, OK maybe my Middle East bargain vacation idea was a mistake. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3401 Any idea how this is playing on social media? 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3402 I'll call and see if we can get an earlier flight back home. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3403 It's not the end of the world. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3404 Maybe I should have let you roast the turkey inside in the oven. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3405 We really had a blast last night. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3406 Now, where were we? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3407 It would have been worse with Hillary. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3408 Couldn't you have just thrown a plate or two? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3409 You just had to push the button, didn't you? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3410 There's no way he'll get re-elected 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3411 Half? No way! My lawyer says I'm entitled to at least two-thirds of this rubble. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3412 Now what? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3413 This is a bit different from what Ayn Rand predicted. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3414 I'm a demolition manager, you? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3415 I think we are out of milk. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3416 How many times have I asked you to look before you back out of the driveway? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3417 Trust me honey, we can rebuild from here. Our foundation is strong. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3418 I strongly disagree. We had the terrible waiter on the second trip to Paris. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3419 I should try the insurance adjuster again. Her voice mailbox was full last time. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3420 Now we can finally let go of that post-election anxiety 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3421 Was it something I said? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3422 Lawrence, I've been thinking - I'd like a divorce. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3423 So, if I was the last man in the world................. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3424 So now what now that I am the last man on earth? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3425 Well, at least I didn't vote for him! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3426 I've told you before, 'Always give the Uber driver 5 stars.' 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3427 And I still say we got a great deal on the flight. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3428 No wonder we got such a good deal on AirBnB. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3429 I may have overreacted. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3430 I think we should give him a chance. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3431 Honey, I told you that getting a dog was a bad idea... 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3432 Honey, I think we should start seeing other people. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3433 Read the instructions first?! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3434 We had a good run. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3435 This is what you get when you mix Special-K and cough drops. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3436 I think we're both going to be late. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3437 I say we sit here and waite for his next tweet 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3438 You thought I was kidding when I said I would rather be in a real war zone than dinner with your mother! 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3439 I'm thinking of moving to the suburbs. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3440 Wasn't me. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3441 There should be an Electoral College they said. It will more fairly represent the entire country they said. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3442 I'd like to add you to my network on LinkedIn 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3443 Now we know what happens when you divide by zero. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3444 Boy that orange guy with the combover is touchy! 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3445 This is what happens when you vote for a President in Real Estate. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3446 I tried to tell you you were blowing this out of proportion.... 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3447 It took an apocalypse to finally downsize! 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3448 Okay, then. Turn it into lemonade. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3449 I have a solemn duty to impregnate the most fertile of the remaining women. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3450 At least we've still got each other. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3451 He got it wrong. It's with a bang, not a whimper. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3452 So, what 'were' your hobbies? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3453 I say we make a run for the Canadian border. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3454 If only you’d have let me warn Meryl Streep to keep quiet. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3455 C'mon, I said I was sorry. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3456 Well, at least we've got each other. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3457 we shouldn't have told the realtor we would consider a fixer upper 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3458 So, what brings you to apocalyptic fantasy camp? 1.2133 0.06379 75 64 6 5
3459 So...Who did you vote for? 1.2105 0.06301 76 65 6 5
3460 I'm starting to have my doubts about him getting Mexico to pay for the wall 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3461 Well why have nukes if we can't use them? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3462 So, are you for or against nuclear disarmament? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3463 Still happy you voted for Trump? 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3464 So, where shall we go for dinner? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3465 OK, I'm the last man on earth. Now what? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3466 Take that. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3467 We're safe now. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3468 Isn't this romantic? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3469 Don't look at me, I voted for Bernie. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3470 It seems silly to say this now, but I really screwed up. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3471 I wonder what the winning lottery numbers are? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3472 Yeah, but crooked Hillary had a private e-mail server! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3473 May I suggest that you don't bring that up again. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3474 Thank God we've got total catastrophic insurance. 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3475 Wait, you still want to move? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3476 I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth. 1.2083 0.06834 72 63 3 6
3477 Let me tell you a story about a man who said he would "Make America Great Again." 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3478 We'll always have Paris... 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3479 Celibacy is so yesterday. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3480 Well, I never said things would be perfect once he took office. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3481 No, spilling red wine on the carpet is an "accident." 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3482 What we lack in passion we make up for in staying power. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3483 Don't blame me. I voted for Hillary. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3484 'Last woman on Earth' is just a phrase, Janet. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3485 Are you feeling the Bern now. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3486 It's not big on ambience, but the food is amazing. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3487 Are you SURE you turned off the gas? 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3488 Well...when you're right, you're right...I probably should have voted for Hillary! 1.2083 0.06834 72 63 3 6
3489 What did you expect? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3490 So, is your family coming back again next year? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3491 I'll need at least three previous landlord references. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3492 Could be worse... Could be raining! 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3493 So, what did you think of the election? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3494 My name is Adam; may I call you Eve? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3495 My 401k has taken a real hit this year. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3496 This is why no one comes to Syria for vacation! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3497 It's your fault for not voting. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3498 Do you agree I was right about the results of the election? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3499 This might sound like a stupid question but did you bring my haemorrhoid cream? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3500 But he has almost completed the wall. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3501 'Well, that was unconventional." 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3502 Shall we NOT go to the coffee shop, or NOT go to the bar? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3503 I remember the old neighborhood differently. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3504 I bet Bob's wife let him build a bunker. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3505 What time was your flight? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3506 Are you finished? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3507 Thank you for meeting me halfway 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3508 Trump accidentally pushed the red button while Putin's prick was up his ass! 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3509 Well, at least I can pick my doctor 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3510 Would you prefer to be the last person on Earth, or shall I? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3511 Now I don't even want to be in your will. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3512 I told you the mayor shouldn't have been so critical of the new president. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3513 Look! America is great again. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3514 They said it was a "fixer.: 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3515 You know, I do think your parents being here for the holidays really did put a strain on things... 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3516 Life is like a box of chocolates...... 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3517 I'm not sure this time share in Syria was such a good investment... 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3518 Love is a battlefield. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3519 Really June, the whole damn world is gone and you want a divorce? Really! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3520 'Sorry Adam, I have an apocalyptic headache.' 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3521 I'm thinking we don't wait till we have the frequent flyer miles. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3522 Well, that just happened. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3523 I've been thinking about trying the Paleo diet. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3524 ...and it's only been three days from the Inauguration! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3525 I have this great plan, so great, it will blow you away. 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3526 So, what were you saying before we were so rudely interrupted? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3527 Really. I swear I turned off the gas. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3528 He kept his promise. He drained the swamp...and more. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3529 Did we leave the oven on? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3530 And tomorrow night? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3531 That was a close one 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3532 I think we should continue to look for a place with more atmosphere. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3533 Thanks for agreeing to meet me on your day off. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3534 So, about that "last man on earth" comment! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3535 "Where would you like to go for lunch" ? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3536 I was told my tweet really got under the president-elect's skin. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3537 So, here we are again. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3538 Is safe to say that your place or mine is out of the question? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3539 I think we need a mediator. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3540 What did we ever do to North Korea? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3541 Did I leave the stove on? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3542 Sure, but she used a private email server. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3543 OK, your turn. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3544 So, have you been on Tinder for a while? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3545 The counselor warned you about what could happen if you bottled up your emotions. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3546 I don't care if you won the popular vote! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3547 Perhaps and area rug would bring it all together. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3548 You just had to leave the fork in the microwave, didn't you? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3549 Maybe your were right. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3550 Our side won? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3551 Because there was a special deal on the "Syrian Getaway". 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3552 Martha, I get your point about your 'scorched earth' approach if we divorce! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3553 What's your sign? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3554 I'd still vote for Trump 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3555 I'm thinking that this is not going to end well 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3556 This will all turn around once he builds that wall. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3557 Who has the greener lawn now, Helen? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3558 Oh dear, I'm afraid those beans were stronger than usual today. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3559 I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET YOUR MOTHER COOK. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3560 You know, this is where our bedroom used to be. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3561 Don't worry honey. Congress says they're going to replace everything very soon. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3562 So what's for lunch today? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3563 Ok, yes. I left the f-ing iron on. So, sue me. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3564 So maybe *now* they will impeach him? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3565 Ok, so it IS the end of the world. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3566 Now remind me again about your moral principles as they apply to private email server accounts? 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3567 It doesn't matter if you're the last man on Earth! It's no! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3568 Well, he said his inauguration would be "like nothing before in this country." 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3569 OK, now that we've settled that let's talk about who gets the house in the Hamptons. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3570 I warned you; "call me crazy, I"ll show you crazy." 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3571 I'm thinking more along the lines of "Thank god he only had 140 characters to work with". 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3572 See, I told you-just sit tight and it will all blow over. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3573 Well...so much for arbitration. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3574 I guess it wasn't such a good idea voting for him after all. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3575 I think we should skip,till death us do part. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3576 So it would appear you did forget to turn the coffee maker off. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3577 "So, to sum up, that's why I think we have to repopulate the human race". 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3578 I'm surprised WE are the ones who survived the apocalypse and not cockroaches and twinkies. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3579 I'm up for procreation if you are. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3580 It seemed romantic at the time to take us back to where we had our first date. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3581 When does the "great again" part start? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3582 Do you know how to build a wall? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3583 Did you say it could or it couldn't have been worse? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3584 Yes, I do think this is great. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3585 Next time, I'll hold the match, thank you very much! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3586 Will your mother still be coming to visit? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3587 I told you it was a bad idea to vote for Trump 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3588 I see it as an opportunity to make America great again. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3589 Fine. You can have the house and I get the furniture. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3590 This is not what we had in mind when we pledged our support for the nuclear family. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3591 This year, death and destruction for me. Next year, pestilence for you. 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3592 I don't think this is constructive. 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3593 I miss my phone. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3594 Yes, Marge, the election is finally over. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3595 The last thing I remember saying was 'Don't press that button!' 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3596 Did the bombing keep you awake? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3597 You should have read the small print 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3598 Of course I knew he was a narcissist with control issues... 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3599 What did you expect? You voted for Trump 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3600 It's a shame this didn't happen on a Monday. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3601 Next time, let's do it without the electoral college. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3602 Now that that's out of the way, can we talk? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3603 Surely you can’t blame this on him! The President’s been out of the country building a new golf course. 1.2083 0.06834 72 63 3 6
3604 Okay, Abby graduated without a college loan. Now what? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3605 I'm still fond of you Agnes, but I never really liked civilization. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3606 I told you I couldn't cook 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3607 This redistricting business is truly getting out of hand! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3608 I heard the neighborhood is up-and-coming. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3609 We should start right away. It’s our patriotic duty to repopulate the world. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3610 I guess the Electoral College really does need to be revisited. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3611 So far, it ain't that great! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3612 You just don't recognize greatness. Sad. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3613 You think Dr. Katz will still charge us for the full hour? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3614 Well, I guess we don't have anything else to divide; see ya around! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3615 We should give him a chance. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3616 The new Samsung battery needs a tweak. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3617 I suppose you want me to admit you told me so. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3618 You told me to expand my horizons 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3619 I would still have voted the same way! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3620 I don't know, the end of the world isn't all it's cracked up to be. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3621 OK, so what's for dinner? 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3622 It's in a great school zone. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3623 I knew giving Billy that drone would be a problem 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3624 They say it's just urban renewal starting. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3625 Do you want to see a counselor before this blows up again? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3626 Ceasefires just aren't what they used to be. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3627 I guess going with War-Torn Tours wasn't such a good idea. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3628 I'll bet you're a glass half empty person. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3629 I would report this but it seems too much like a fake news story. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3630 ...and how many times have I told you to turn off the iron before you leave the house? 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3631 The 'replace' part may take a little time. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3632 Honest, mother. I didn't do anything. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3633 So, how do you feel about voting for Trump now?! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3634 So were you sent back here to repopulate as well? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3635 DIVORCE was the nuclear option! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3636 Yes, now we can talk. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3637 Who thought one little tweet could destroy the world? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3638 Do you think we have a future? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3639 Cyber-attacks aren't that bad after all. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3640 Well, we still have each other. 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3641 So I drive too slow. It's not like there won't be another Rapture. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3642 With that being said, Danielle, will you accept this rose? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3643 Well, we've still got each other, I guess. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3644 Well... now I am the last man on earth 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3645 Yes, I know I said 'not even if you were the last man on earth,' but I didn't mean it literally. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3646 It's the closest we can get to Williamsburg in our price range. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3647 North Korea's aim is getting better. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3648 Okay, but on the bright side, we can now find out if we DO have what it takes. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3649 For better or worse 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3650 Well, I'm just glad to have voted for a change candidate that finally delivered. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3651 So...you were right about giving Johnny that chemistry set. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3652 Yes, but I thought we'd still have football and mixed martial arts. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3653 I still think she would have been worse. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3654 No more candles. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3655 Can we just call it fake news? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3656 Voting for him seemed a good idea at the time. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3657 I never thought he might actually win! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3658 Good thing our flight was late 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3659 Should I ask for a different table? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3660 Cabbage has never agreed with me. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3661 Well, on the bright side, now we really can "make America great again"! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3662 Okay, yes. Technically I did say if you were the last man on earth. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3663 When I said "we wouldn't date until the end of the world," I didn't mean it literally. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3664 Where do we send the rent? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3665 I've always heard that they're good for your heart... 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3666 He won. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3667 We'll start with a trendy coffee shop 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3668 Would you say it's safe to call ours a post-election relationship? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3669 Did you remember to bring any snacks? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3670 I wonder what the kids are up to. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3671 Well, aren't you the most beautiful woman in the whole city. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3672 Should we go out for dinner? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3673 I told you not to let me eat beans. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3674 Okay- so I did vote for him. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3675 Now that that's settled, what's for dinner? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3676 Well, did YOU read the fine print? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3677 How was I supposed to know that would happen? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3678 Well, he certainly has taken Nixon's madman theory to the next level. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3679 OK, maybe I left the gas on. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3680 Dystopian. D-Y-S-T-O-P-I-A-N. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3681 The Day After the Inaguration 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3682 At least we have each other. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3683 it's still better than Hillary. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3684 But you must concede that der Fuehrer very nearly made Deutschland Great Again! 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3685 Honey, did you mail the insurance premium check I left on the mantel? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3686 Fine, next time you pick the restaurant. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3687 Forgive my timing, but before our flesh starts to melt.... 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3688 Will you marry me. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3689 Tell me you did not forget to pay the casualty insurance. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3690 OK, now I see my vote was a mistake. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3691 I guess your lawyer really did mean scorched earth. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3692 It ain't over till it's over... 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3693 Then the machines took offence to the president-elect's tweets. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3694 Not if you were the last person on earth! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3695 Curse the electoral college system!! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3696 It drives me crazy that you don't empty the dishwasher. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3697 What's for supper? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3698 I apparently misunderstood your definition of 'nuclear option'....... 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3699 And to think it all started with a tweet.... 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3700 Ok, but I'm keeping the furniture. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3701 When he asked, "What do you have to lose?" I didn't think he meant everything. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3702 According to this Tweet, it was Hollywood's fault. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3703 This is the new normal for all non deplorable people! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3704 Fiber, schmiber, no more beans for dinner. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3705 Can you tell me please, who won? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3706 So much for Russia's Order of Friendship. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3707 I'm glad we decided to part as friends. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3708 It's may not be Eden but it's ours 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3709 Let's order out 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3710 I guess it's up to us, Eve. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3711 You're the one who voted for him. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3712 I don't suppose you kept the receipt for that pressure cooker, did you? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3713 I told you to check the stove before we left! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3714 I'm not so sure these virtual vacations are all they're cracked up to be 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3715 Monday's; am I right? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3716 It looks like we've solved all of the world's problems in one fell swoop. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3717 You just had to send him that nasty tweet! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3718 Hey, don't look at me. I didn't vote for him! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3719 Eve? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3720 How about we just stay out tonight? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3721 I knew a scorched earth divorce wasn't a solution 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3722 They were serious about getting rid of all of Obamacare. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3723 I still say there was nothing wrong with his foreign policy. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3724 Yes, 'nuclear option' _is_ an overused metaphor. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3725 All right, but this isn't over. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3726 So, you left the stove on? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3727 So... what was all that "last man on earth" talk? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3728 At least the spare key didn't get damaged. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3729 Should we order a pizza? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3730 Come on, give him another chance! Let's see how he does in his next 100 days. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3731 We're the only survivors left on earth.... I still want a divorce. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3732 Checking back now that I AM the last man on earth. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3733 Okay, now comes the pivot. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3734 Do you still say that nuclear holocaust is preferable to Donald Trump? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3735 I told you we'd be early. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3736 I would call this "great again" 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3737 Never again will we spend the holidays with your parents. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3738 I don't think the bus is coming. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3739 You may call it a dystopian landscape. I call it the future . 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3740 Next time we should buy travel insurance. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3741 Sorry I'm late. Couldn't get a cab. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3742 Are we still doing casual Friday's?" 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3743 What is Aleppo? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3744 I thought you had the picnic basket. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3745 I still say he's bringing our jobs back. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3746 I guess your argument for the lesser of two evils theory wasn't specious... 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3747 Looks like we're empty worldsters. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3748 Still think Trump was the way to vote? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3749 I really miss the PBS News Hour. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3750 ... and to think we were on the waiting list for a reservation at this restaurant for over a month! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3751 Backing up all the family photos to the Cloud wasn't such a terrific idea 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3752 Still think things are better under Trump? 1.2083 0.06834 72 63 3 6
3753 Ok, maybe it isn't so "Great". 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3754 Make America great again again 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3755 So THAT'S the worst that can happen. Interesting. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3756 I thought YOU were going to turn of the stove! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3757 Yes, I would vote for Trump again. 1.2083 0.06834 72 63 3 6
3758 If it's any consolation, we won. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3759 What's for dinner? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3760 I just want to make it clear, as one of the last two people on earth, I still support Trump. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3761 Was it something I said? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3762 You're the one who wanted to move here. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3763 That's right. It looks like you have to cook tonight. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3764 I'm thinking of running for president. 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
3765 Did you really have to invoke the nuclear option on our marriage? 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3766 Now that I am the last man on earth what do you have to say for yourself. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3767 Okay, IF your mother were still alive, I still wouldn't want to go to her place for Thanksgiving. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3768 Yes I DID text the UBER driver our address. 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
3769 I would have preferred keeping the filibuster. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3770 Four years was enough. No way I'm voting for a second term. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3771 I still say he made it great. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3772 Bigly! 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3773 With all earthly possessions out of the way, we can now discuss what's really important to us. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3774 Was the - "Afternoon in ISIS Controlled Territory" - mentioned in the brochure? 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3775 Shall we dance? 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3776 I guess the Russians DID hack our game consoles. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3777 Much of it wasn't worth saving anyway. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3778 Well you don't look a thing like your picture either! 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3779 It wasn't important. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3780 So the rapture has come and gone. How about a latte? 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3781 I'm not fluent in smoke signals but I think it's bad news. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3782 I never imagined that I'd be one of the lucky ones. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3783 Have you seen the TV guide? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3784 I still think those emails showed a real lack of judgment. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3785 I thought divorce was the nuclear option 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3786 It's boring without zombies. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3787 You said you wanted to live in a quiet neighborhood. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3788 And you thought it would be fun to miss the tour bus. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3789 I'm giving them 10 more minutes. Then we're leaving! 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3790 better buy something now, it's becoming gentrified. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3791 Would you rather walk, or wait for the shuttle? 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3792 I'm glad you were sitting down. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3793 I'm wondering, did you remember to turn off the lights? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3794 I think I'll put on my shorts 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3795 Our marriage is in ruins. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3796 I told you we should have voted for the other one. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3797 Is there a good place to eat around here? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3798 Apparently he said he wanted more nukes, and Alexa delivered. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3799 Don't be rude, I'm usually a good cook. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3800 My therapist says it's you. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3801 We should revisit our investment portfolio. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3802 The alt-right has it alt-wrong. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3803 We've still got time to catch a movie. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3804 Yes Betty I voted to make America Great again, we are still here aren't we! 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3805 It’ll be OK. Remember, we have Neanderthal DNA. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
3806 He said he'll pay for the next wall himself. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3807 Does this mean our Annulment is null and void? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3808 For once you weren't catastrophizing. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3809 I hear the housing market is really blowing up. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3810 Ok, imagine ~ we're the new Adam and Eve and there's no apples. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3811 You're over-reacting dear. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3812 I told you to go outside to smoke that cigarette. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3813 He says if we re-elect him he'll build a huge,really huge tower that will make us great again. 1.1972 0.06537 71 62 4 5
3814 So, let's talk more about your background! 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3815 Yes dear, I did say "let's move here, it's a safe neighborhood." 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3816 I think we are looking at another bubble. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3817 Shall we tackle spousal support next? 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3818 Less is more. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3819 It isn't so bad after all ... it's only one day after Trump's inauguration and we still have a place to sit! 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3820 The election's over. Now what? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3821 I still like his hair. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3822 How's your Mandarin? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3823 there's one good thing about this: my therapist told me to simplify my life. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3824 'Smoulder' sure is a great matchmaking app isn't it. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3825 January 20th was kinda bad. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3826 I guess i just wanted to start over 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3827 No, to maintain a reverse mortgage you have to live in the rubble. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3828 Linda, I think this relationship is getting toxic 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3829 Divorce is hard on everyone. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3830 What? 1.1972 0.06537 71 62 4 5
3831 Actually, this is one of the nicer neighborhoods now. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
3832 He clearly did NOT mock that disabled reporter. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3833 And that was a good idea because...? 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3834 I thought it was kind of a big sparkler. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3835 So, what kind of house are you looking for? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3836 Sorry for the mess- I'm in the middle of redecorating. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3837 I felt like we needed a fresh start 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3838 I heard that line before, Adam 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3839 It looked so much more picturesque in the brochure! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3840 So, anything good on TV tonight...? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3841 On the plus side, property values have never been lower. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3842 The bus is late again. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3843 Next year, no more fried turkey. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3844 It's good to be great again. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3845 You're always blaming everything on me! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3846 Now that I'm the last man on earth, dinner? 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3847 But at least now we can afford it 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
3848 The furnace guy just called it "a remote" for the thermostat. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3849 But Hillary mishandled those e-mails, so... agree to disagree? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3850 Do you think Uber will find us here? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3851 Tell me again about your plan to shake up the system. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3852 He said he had the best words. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3853 I told you Trump would make America great again. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3854 I know my place needs some sprucing up. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3855 Maybe we shouldn't have used that extra strength bug bomb. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3856 Yes. I still want to talk about emails. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3857 It's not you, it's me and my post-apocalyptic, pre-inauguration phase. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3858 At least we won't have to pay taxes anymore. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3859 Let's just try living together for awhile to see if we're compatible. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3860 I have a feeling I left the oven on. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3861 Okay . . . NOW will you date me? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3862 My bad. We should have kept him on a leash. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3863 Ok, maybe my lawyer was too aggressive. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3864 I told you he shouldn't have made fun of his hair! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3865 Regrets? I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3866 O.K., O.K., you can have the remote control. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3867 ..and we are only a short cab ride away from some of the older, more traditional ruins. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3868 Well, we can wait as long as you want ... but he never comes. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3869 I thought that was the agreement - I pick the vacation and you book the hotel. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3870 Meryl Streep, Elizabeth Warren and Donald Trump were here last night. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3871 I guess now we wait. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3872 The Hyatt Aleppo is supposed to be nice. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3873 Yes Judith, I know, but I don't think anyone expected it to happen so soon after the inauguration. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3874 Oh, NOT, that button. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3875 The brochure said it was like [underlined] being in an actual war zone. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3876 I TOLD you we'd be fine with Trump as president. 1.1972 0.06537 71 62 4 5
3877 I think we have different definitions of "Great Again.". 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3878 Can't think of anyone I'd rather be here with than you. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3879 I guess you were right about him being a cause for worry. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3880 In the future, let's stay away from politics until we've had our morning coffee. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3881 I really just wanted the hat. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3882 After all... tomorrow is another day. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3883 So I bid No Trump -- and this was his response! 1.1972 0.06537 71 62 4 5
3884 What a way to start 2017! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3885 I guess you did leave the iron on. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3886 Miami would've been nice, but time travel seemed like fun too. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3887 He's YOUR son.... 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3888 You're the one who wanted to stay in the city. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3889 I told you you shouldn't have voted for Trump. 1.1972 0.06537 71 62 4 5
3890 Call for a pizza 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3891 I told you no one would notice if you wore the same outfit again this year. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3892 I still say it's Obama's fault. He left President Trump no choice but to firmly deal with sanctuary cities. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3893 I can't find my wallet. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3894 Okay, next time you plan the vacation. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3895 I'd rather stay in tonight. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3896 They just couldn't leave the "little fingers" bit, alone, could they? 1.1972 0.06537 71 62 4 5
3897 OK, I was wrong—we should have went back and checked the stove. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3898 Frankly. I think Armageddon is over rated. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3899 Don't worry dear, Trump is a builder too 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3900 Do you think I should run for a second term, Hillary? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3901 What the hell did you do that for, Hillary? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3902 I know, I know, you told me this would happen. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3903 I'm starting to have second thoughts about love and war. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3904 He did say that Putin respected him. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3905 Not bad for my first term in office. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3906 But it has great reviews on Yelp. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3907 I knew I should have voted for Hillary 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3908 This does not excuse you from date night. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3909 I don't think he meant it. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3910 I don't think that mindfulness will help. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3911 Usually mediation is the recommended way to go... 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3912 Does this mean my parents can't come for the holidays? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3913 Isn't this great again? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3914 The one I'm going to miss the most is the Trump Tower. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3915 We should have let Trump buy us out. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3916 Oh, you want to go scorched earth? Let's talk about you and your mother's many similarities. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3917 It doesnt look like much now, but with a bit of work and sweat equity, you could build the home of your dreams. Don't take too long to decide. I have some people coming by this afternoon. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3918 It could be worse. Crooked Hilary could have won. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3919 You think it's rent controlled? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3920 We finally have smaller government and low taxes. You should be happy. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3921 Yeah, but at least we won the war on Christmas. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3922 Well, you told me you wanted to de-clutter. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3923 Well, at least there's no room for your mother this year. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3924 So, what you're saying is that an amicable split is probably not going to work. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3925 I didn't say it would work. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3926 OK, I admit I was wrong about Trump! Can we just move on! 1.1972 0.06838 71 63 2 6
3927 Good thing we've got a piece of the rock. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3928 Well, considering there are no more fish in the sea, I'd say we make a good match. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3929 Oh yeah? well ... sometimes... yer'farts don't smell like roses either, ya'know... 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3930 Anymore bright ideas? 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3931 It's unprecedented. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3932 My gas is back. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3933 Well, that wasn't so bad was it. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
3934 So...what do you like to do for fun? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3935 I TOLD you 2016 wasn't so bad.... 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3936 The idea is repeal and replace...pretty much universal plan now. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3937 Do you think they will still give us a free breakfast? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3938 So, I said to myself, "I'll take a chance and vote for the anti-establishment guy" 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3939 Don't be ridiculous, this was not on my bucket list! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3940 Company policy states we need someone to blame. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3941 Why make them, if we weren't going to us them? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3942 Do you have any plans for supper, Honey? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3943 Is it too late to take back my yoga pants? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3944 Let's party like it's 1949. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3945 Not even if you were the last man on earth... 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3946 So, you're saying I have anger management problems? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3947 Whatever you salvage, I get half. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3948 Next time I'll remember to turn off the gas. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3949 At least we don't live next to any refugees. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3950 Fine. Fine. Fine. You can have the house. Are you happy now? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3951 Online dating seems a little pointless now. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3952 I think it's almost over. Or maybe it's just begun? Too existential? Should I quote "Waiting for Godot?" It's my fault, isn't it? I'll just be quiet. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3953 That's the third time this week. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3954 The more things change, the more they stay the same. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3955 Yes dear, this is what's left of DC after the Trump invasion. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3956 Made you blink." "No you didn't. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3957 Relax. They missed us, didn't they. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3958 I'm glad we finally got to visit Aleppo. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3959 Want to get brunch? 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3960 Do you always feel the need to grill me on the hot seat? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3961 I was using someone else's mantra. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3962 At least we know the nuclear arsenal is still operational... 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3963 For pity's sake Marjorie, never mention that phoenix again. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3964 TripAdvisor said "open vistas." 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3965 This time we're not going to miss out on the next hot neighborhood 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3966 I wonder why the airline is late? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3967 This is bound to effect property prices. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3968 Now it's great again. 1.1972 0.06537 71 62 4 5
3969 So, about that last man in the world thing..." 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3970 Circumstances require us to be Adam and Eve! 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3971 This is Trump's idea of "draining the swamp. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3972 So can we agree to divorce now? 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3973 This doesn't surprise me, you know what happens when you eat too many beans. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3974 Shall we move to one of the Red States? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3975 How should we nurture Generation Gamma Ray? 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
3976 now do you believe me? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3977 Before you ask, yes - I am the last man on earth. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3978 I looks like you and I have something in common with roaches. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3979 I do love the smell of the air after a storm. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3980 No chance I'm getting my security deposit back, huh? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3981 I hope you brought the Twinkies with you. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3982 It's colder than I expected. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3983 I've told you before! I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3984 You're raze or mine? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3985 I'm really sorry I voted for Trump. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3986 (singing) If you were the only girl in the world, and I was the only boy... 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3987 Do you really think I would have called him 'Trumpelstiltskin, the gold-spinning imp' if I had known that he could already order a drone strike? 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3988 But gee, didn't we dance a lot at the inaugural ball ? 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3989 Guess I really was a ticking time bomb. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3990 In my defense, I did say you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3991 Wanna fool around? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3992 True it's not DEATH...but I say we still part! 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3993 Do you want the good news or the bad news first? 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3994 Reason number 873 I voted for her. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3995 Some 'disaster', until he tweets it I guess this is Fake News. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3996 Look, and he's only been in office a few days. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3997 I knew I should have ordered the fish. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
3998 Honey, I think we need marriage counseling. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3999 I didn't realize that Trump was a weapon of mass destruction! 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
4000 Maybe you’ve got a better plan for repopulation? 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
4001 You were saying? 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
4002 How will the Amazon truck find us? 1.1944 0.06141 72 62 6 4
4003 If this is the Rapture, why are you telling me my fly is open? 1.1944 0.06141 72 62 6 4
4004 So dear, what's for dinner? 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4005 We really shouldn't normalize this. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
4006 The nuclear holocaust hasn't turned out as well as I hoped. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4007 Ready to kiss and make up? 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
4008 Do you think I can still stay vegan? 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4009 The answer is still "no" 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4010 We've already been through hell and high water... 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4011 This is the last time we sign up with Devastation Tours. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4012 Does it smells like something is burning to you? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4013 It's so lifelike. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4014 "Should we plan on skipping lunch or first check Snopes? 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4015 I told you so. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4016 Did I do that? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4017 "Open space remodel," she said. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4018 You're so pretty by the twinkle of burning tires. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4019 Well, at least we have our health. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4020 Now if the giant ants could only be domesticated. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4021 Emails emails emails. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4022 Tell me again how "open space is trendy." 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4023 This ain't fake news. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4024 Aren't you happy you voted for Trump now ? 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4025 Fast forward three weeks into Trump's presidency... 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4026 Be the change you wish to see in the world. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4027 That is not in the terms of our prenuclear agreement. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4028 Alien invasions always looked more exciting on TV. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4029 So much for the great vacation package in Camden. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4030 No I still don't regret not voting. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4031 Doesn't feel pyrrhic to me at all, I won. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4032 I asked you not to let your mother come for a visit. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4033 Ok, round two, moral high ground. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4034 Just because you can doesn't mean you should. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4035 We're the last two people on earth. Having second thoughts? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4036 My dear, we have the opportunity to refresh our promise of ¨In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health ¨! 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4037 That's the last time we spend the holidays at your parent's. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4038 On the bright side you always wanted this room to be light and airy. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4039 Wish he had told us more how he was going to make it great again. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4040 I told you we should have gone door to door in Iowa! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4041 And what did YOU say? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4042 You can keep the house; I'll take the cash. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4043 Well, you and your nuclear family campaign have finally gotten your way. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4044 You called in a drone strike because they played Metallica after eleven? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4045 Next time we'd better take a closer look at the brochure. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4046 If you think the last four years were great wait until you see what he plans for 2020. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4047 You're not a liberal are you? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4048 How was I supposed to know this really happens if you tweet his name three times? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4049 I'm hungry. What's for dinner??? 1.1884 0.06618 69 61 3 5
4050 Ready for some post-apocalyptic urban renewal my dear. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4051 "But the emails" you said. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4052 You're hired. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4053 That'll teach you to Twitter back. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4054 We made America great again! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4055 Seriously, where would we put your mother? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4056 Well, at least we've got each other. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4057 So this is Trump's America? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4058 We really need to talk. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4059 You were right. I shouldn't have voted for him. 1.1884 0.06618 69 61 3 5
4060 You were right, I shouldn't have voted for Trump. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4061 You didn't say anything about "nuclear codes". All you said was that he does not treat women well and that his hair is ridiculous. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4062 So. You said "VOTE Trump." 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4063 The bus isn't running today. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4064 He won. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4065 High tide isn't for a while. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4066 I know what you said about "even if I was the last person on earth" but given the circumstances..... 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4067 I blame the Russians. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4068 Well?! Are you finally willing to go to Mother's? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4069 How was I supposed to know what that button would do? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4070 Irony? 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4071 I doubt that we'll find a better ground-floor opportunity in Detroit than this, Mildred. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4072 I told you we'd be fine, even with his finger on the button. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4073 I didn't know Enola would take the gay comment so personally. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4074 I TOLD YOU HE HAD NO FOREIGN POLICY EXPERIENCE!!! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4075 Still support the nuclear option? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4076 I told you we had chemistry. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4077 I'm telling you, the food here is worth it. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4078 This is the last time I let you airbnb the house to a WWII reenactment group. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4079 Maybe this "See Aleppo" vacation package was not such a great deal. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4080 I don't care what it looks like, I still believe he made American great again. 1.1884 0.06618 69 61 3 5
4081 If I take a selfie, who should I send it to? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4082 So there! 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4083 At least we got to keep our kids on our insurance. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4084 Too much? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4085 NOW, you decide to stop wearing your Trump baseball cap! 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4086 Now THAT'S what l call urban renewal. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4087 See, this is Trump's Russian real estate deal he doesn't want leaked. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4088 So, where do you want to go for dinner? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4089 OK, I will admit it, voting for Trump was a mistake. Are you happy now? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4090 Excuse me. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4091 This is the second time something like this has happened, Mrs. O'Leary. I don't think they'll buy the cow thing again. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4092 I voted third party, you? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4093 Are you still happy you voted for him now? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4094 I don't want to fight with you anymore. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4095 No, YOU blinked! 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4096 So...Who did you vote for? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4097 Eco-tourism under this administration certainly is different..... 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4098 Dishonest media. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4099 Gee, it's good we missed the 5:42. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4100 Well, I don't think Kanye would have been a worse president. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4101 You would be the last man on earth. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4102 How do you suppose one gets to Mars? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4103 No, I DID NOT vote for him. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4104 Don't ruin this for me. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4105 It's been a long four years. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4106 Well, we don't have to worry about the termites anymore. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4107 Who says climate change is a hoax? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4108 Something tells me that your husband found out about us. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4109 Did you remember to lock the door and turn the gas stove off? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4110 I told you it wouldn't hit us 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4111 At least we won't have to choose the curtains now 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4112 At least we have somewhere to sit. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4113 Wanna dress up like zombies and go scare people? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4114 I guess we'll have to rethink our plans for Saturday night. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4115 Well, it could be worse. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4116 No, it's the end of the world as you know it! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4117 No, the good news is not we can now redecorate again. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4118 Would you be willing to relocate? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4119 No, it's your fault. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4120 Are you sure you won't marry me? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4121 I 'm going to quit smoking. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4122 And you were worried about emails 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4123 I agree. This is not as great as we had hoped. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4124 I never promised you a rose garden. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4125 In my defense, the brochure said that Aleppo is beautiful this time of year. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4126 This argument sure has blown up. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4127 Maybe Trump will build a golf course. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4128 Microwave safe? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4129 It's your turn to let the cat out. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4130 Are you *still* glad you voted for Trump? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4131 So you're sticking with your story that you turned off the stove this morning? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4132 It was the dog. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4133 Don't look at me, I didn't vote for Trump. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4134 Since we are the only survivors, I guess this is our first date. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4135 That Godot guy was really disappointing. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4136 Wait two weeks and propose the golf and hotel complex. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4137 You don’t look like your online dating profile, but that’s no longer a deal breaker for me. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4138 I trust he shook things up enough for you? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4139 You were the only person to answer my apocalypse dating ad. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4140 Gentrify this?! 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4141 Just turn around and take a peek Mrs. Lot. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4142 Whoa! Look at the devastation! Yep, Trump just became POTUS. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4143 How many times I have to tell you to be careful what you ask of Alexa. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4144 You shouldn’t have sent that tweet. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4145 So what's new in your life? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4146 Cutting cable didn't seem enough. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4147 So, have you given an;y thought to dinner? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4148 Does this mean I can't go bowling tonight? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4149 Sad! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4150 Is that all there is? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4151 I told you it was a bad neighborhood. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4152 So this is what America First looks like 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4153 I'm pretty sure this would have been a lot worse if Hillary had won. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4154 I heard Trump Tower survived. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4155 Next time Julia, more Cherries, less Bomba 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4156 So...do you have any hobbies? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4157 Darling, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4158 It's an up and coming neighborhood. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4159 No, I've not seen the remote. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4160 You're right. Maybe this wasn't the year for a protest vote 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4161 Russia had nothing to do with Trump's election. Just you wait and see. Once the truth comes out, you'll really feel embarrassed. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4162 That'll show them! 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4163 I think Russia did it. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4164 I told you to turn in that stupid cell phone! 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4165 I regret my vote. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4166 Now Trump's really done it 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4167 Maybe our order should have been for 'mild' chicken wings. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4168 I told you we should move into your mother's basement. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4169 I TOLD you we should have voted for her. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4170 Is it 'Really Great' yet? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4171 At least he kept his promise to get rid of the immigrants in our neighborhood 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4172 Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Except with Donald Trump. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4173 I know you told me you smelled a gas leak, but I still think I could have fixed it myself. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4174 I still think he was a good President. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4175 Don't blame me, I voted for Jill Stein. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4176 Remember when I said "If you were the only girl left in the world" ...? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4177 Do you think we can both learn to date outside our religions? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4178 You've really done it now, Ralph! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4179 I'm actually looking forward to the 2020 Presidential primaries. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4180 On the bright side, no more housekeeping. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4181 I told you not to have lunch at Taco Bell. 1.1884 0.06618 69 61 3 5
4182 He ran. He won. It happened. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4183 Did too! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4184 I don't understand why you're attacking me over this. You never liked living here anyway. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4185 Is it too late to re-think my vote? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4186 At least Match.com survived. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4187 What are we having for dinner? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4188 I told you it was a bad idea to try to charge your phone in the microwave. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4189 Fine, you were right, but we live in a blue state so my vote didn't count anyway. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4190 DID YOU HEAR? TRUMP WON! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4191 Don't give me any "I told you so's." 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4192 Someday son, this will all be yours. 1.1884 0.06618 69 61 3 5
4193 Wow! Suddenly you remind me of Burgess Meredith with his glasses off. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4194 That look on your face is devastating. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4195 Hillary did it. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4196 Who cares if the world has ended? You still owe me money. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4197 This is not what you mean by starting over? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4198 It's our policy not to use the term climate change. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4199 I really shouldn't have eaten all those beans. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4200 So I guess we shouldn't have said that on Twitter, huh... 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4201 Still waiting for him to pivot? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4202 Thank God we decided to modernize our nuclear strike force. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4203 Does this make us tired, poor or just huddled masses? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4204 I tried to tell you I was a lousy cook. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4205 I thought the agent was joking when he suggested the Godzilla rider. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4206 Next time I'll plan the vacation get away. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4207 What? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4208 I think you'll agree that since the Inaugural, speed dating has run its course. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4209 Looks like its the two of us, Marge. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4210 Tell me again...the travel agent said we'd have a blast? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4211 Beans. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4212 "Now that I AM the last man on earth will you have a rethink at your answer" ? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4213 Maybe we shouldn't have voted for Trump. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4214 I still think Trump is doing a good job as President! 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4215 He expected a different kind of bombshell. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4216 I'm worried about inflation, how about you? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4217 Is your ex-husband going to continue to cause problems? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4218 You just HAD to tweet at him. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4219 See? Forgetting our anniversary wasn’t so bad. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4220 Who'd you vote for? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4221 I like to think of it as pre-gentrified with tons of potential 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4222 Maybe it's the price of making America great again. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4223 I asked for an outside room for two, 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4224 I knew this would happen if I told you. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4225 ..but in his heart he MEANT 'make America great again'. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4226 Let's pretend this us visiting Aleppo rather than our own future. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4227 Let's split the rest 50/50. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4228 " So honey, what's for dinner"? 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4229 So, what's for lunch? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4230 I told you not to vote for Trump. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4231 Making America great again was a challenge ... 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4232 Yes, I am still happy I voted for him. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4233 Our love is a smoldering ruin. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4234 Sorry... what were you saying about the furnace? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4235 Well, let's just say it was a matter of the wrong button. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4236 We had little enough to talk about before, and now look at us. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4237 I'm beginning to think war with Russia was a bad idea 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4238 Don't blame me. I voted for Johnson. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4239 I'm not sure this is what he meant when he said, "Drain the swamp." 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4240 Well, he did make us great again 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4241 At least we've finally downsized to the point where you always wanted to. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4242 I still don't know what Aleppo is 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4243 At least they left us something to sit on. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4244 Of course I'll still respect you in the morning 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4245 I'm not going to tell you I told you so but 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4246 But we have a wall now 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4247 Should I cancel the Pilates class? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4248 Agree to disagree. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4249 We got the sun in the morning and the moon at night, Doris. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4250 I'm surprisingly relieved. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4251 I told you the election would be devastating. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4252 It's not you. It's me. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4253 How's this contested divorce work'in for you? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4254 I have an apple in my pocket. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4255 Buyer's remorse? Not at all. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4256 I do think we have a moral responsibility to propagate the species.... 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4257 You just can't beat durable granite benches. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4258 "On balance, his foreign policy is going better than expected". 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4259 It's been a while but I heard the repealed Obamacare replacement will be passed any day now. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4260 Try again, without the apple and snake? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4261 You know, we should spend more time outdoors. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4262 My lunch? Two burritos. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4263 Why did they have to hit the best Chinese take out place in the neighborhood. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4264 No, I don't think I do have anything nice to say. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4265 We should have brought the folding beach chairs. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4266 TripAdviser said it was the best place to ask for a divorce. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4267 I never said never. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4268 Guess Trump shouldn't have sent out that last Tweet... 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4269 No, I would not marry you even though you are the last woman alive on this planet. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4270 Are you sure you checked the references on the guy remodeling the kitchen? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4271 OK, where do you want to start first? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4272 To me the price was right for visiting Syria. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4273 Finally, No Distractions! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4274 I thought you had changed the batteries in the smoke alarm. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4275 I guess white privilege gives us an advantage after all. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4276 You voted for him, didn't you? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4277 It's a Pre- and Post- War building. With large outdoor bathrooms, as many bedrooms as you'd like, and an excellent view of the Apocalypse. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4278 I think you left the porch light on. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4279 Getting me flowers won't cut it this time. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4280 Not what I was thinking when I said we'll have a blast. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4281 I hear Amazon is hiring. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4282 I thought you said you liked the outdoors? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4283 Tom and Fifi sure know how to throw one hell of a going away party. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4284 I guess you can't make dinner tonight! 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4285 Okay, I will admit I'm sorry I voted for him. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4286 Burgess Meredith found the library. We could, too. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4287 This wouldn't have happened if you could have handled killing the spider yourself. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4288 And to think I used to like the way your skin glowed. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4289 Utilities aren't included. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4290 It was your private server. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4291 "I said 'elope', not 'Aleppo'! 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4292 So this is why you don't vote for Donald Trump. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4293 The labeled clearly said not to mix the bleach with the ammonia. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4294 This reenactment group is a little too realistic for my taste. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4295 Ham on rye. You? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4296 What can I say? I believed him. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4297 Look at the bright side.... 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4298 Let’s go to Hawaii for our next vacation. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4299 I told you not to deep fry the turkey. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4300 Tell me again how you managed to get a discount on this piece of property. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4301 Look at it this way: you'll never have to stop for another red light. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4302 Well ... we could always stay with your mother. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4303 He made America hate again. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4304 I keep telling myself 'It's a new world.' 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4305 This is great again, right? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4306 Yes, all your expired Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons are really expired now. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4307 Try not to see it as the end of the world, but rather the start of the next chapter... 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4308 Do we have to go out tonight? 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4309 ... and his re-election slogan is 'Make America Great Again. Again. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4310 Have you noticed that the New Yorker cartoonists seem obsessed with rowboats, recently? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4311 All I'm saying is you have no idea what was in those emails. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4312 You've got to remember to turn off the toaster oven next time, Helen. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4313 What has Trump done this time? 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4314 I said deposition, not demolition. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4315 I'll never get the hang of that new-fangled oven. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4316 I told you he'd make it great again. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4317 Yes, I'm glad 2016 is over too! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4318 I told you when I chiseled these chairs that they'd outlast the fancy ones you wanted. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4319 Well I voted for Hillary. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4320 Now we know who Godot is. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4321 So, how are the kids? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4322 Lets make America great again. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4323 Let's be an Interest Group. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4324 Want to go out for dinner? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4325 Do you think they will let him keep his Peace Prize? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4326 So, if you would have listened to your mother and married Bob Brown, none of this would have happened? 1.1884 0.06618 69 61 3 5
4327 I thought the remote in the side drawer would open the drapes. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4328 That is the last time we're inviting your brother over. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4329 Well I think *you're* a bit of a fixer-upper! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4330 So you insist on being president the first year? 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4331 Maybe we voted wrong. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4332 But it's the little things I miss ... 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4333 Maybe disbanding the HOA wasn't such a great idea. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4334 Who cut the cheese? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4335 Unfortunately, the tweets escalated quickly. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4336 Don't worry Dear. Our new President is a developer. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4337 Is your cell phone working? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4338 The vacation brochure promised seclusion and rugged beauty. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4339 So, maybe I shouldn't have voted for Trump. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4340 This wasn't what I meant by "small government." 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4341 You have no sympathy at all that my entire collection of classic explosive devices is now gone, do you? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4342 Out of the goodness of my heart , I'll let you keep the house. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4343 Is this your first trip to Allepo? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4344 As I did the cooking I think it's only fair that you load what's left of the dishwasher. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4345 By far the cheesiest apocalypse I've attended. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4346 I wouldn't date you even if we were the last two people on Earth. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4347 Next time don't use the pressure cooker. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4348 I swear I didn't leave the oven on. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4349 Yes, but imagine if it had been her, with those emails! 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4350 This was a hard divorce. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4351 And I would vote for him again. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4352 Been waiting long? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4353 You don't expect me to fall for that "To Save Civilization" line, do you? 1.1884 0.06618 69 61 3 5
4354 So *now* when's your mother coming to stay? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4355 Your desire for Minimalism is wholly overblown. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4356 I hope we're not in Kansas any more. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4357 I still say fracking is perfectly safe if it's done right! 1.1857 0.06203 70 61 5 4
4358 Did you remember to lay out my pajamas, feed the cat, and unplug the flux capacitor? 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4359 Not all my relationships look like this.... 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4360 Oh, right. 'We ought to check out what's really going on in the Middle East!' 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4361 Yeah, but at least he's kind of funny on Twitter. 1.1857 0.06203 70 61 5 4
4362 So. When did you first know you wanted to be an arsonist? 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4363 Okay, so I should have voted for Hillary. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4364 Making America great again is harder that I realized. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4365 Now the neighbors are gone, we can cook what we like on the BBQ. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4366 I suggested a scorched earth approach as a joke. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4367 Fine, you're not in the minority. You're still wrong. 1.1857 0.06203 70 61 5 4
4368 What are your plans now, Madam Secretary? 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4369 Good thing we pressured Trump not to make friends with Russia..." 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4370 I thought the app was tinder, not not twister. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4371 You keep coming up on my Tinder. 1.1857 0.06203 70 61 5 4
4372 All right then! No more chili for me. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4373 Whoops. I did it again. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4374 Now that I finally have you to myself... there is something I've always wanted to tell you... 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4375 Well, he said he'd shake things up. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4376 But, you weren't scorned! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4377 And being from different political parties, we won't be repopulating the earth. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4378 It's done wonders for my economic anxiety. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4379 Some full moon/Friday the Thirteenth combination, huh! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4380 When I said that we should spend time enjoying the great outdoors, this is not what I had in mind. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4381 Technically the brochure was right; the astounding views do rivet your attention. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4382 You didn't have to blow up like that! 1.1765 0.06606 68 61 2 5
4383 Well, at least we have a place to sit. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4384 So, is this how all of the deals in "The Art of the Deal" ended? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4385 You knew I had nuclear capability when you married me. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4386 You scare me when you can't have your way. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4387 On the upside, the Mulligans won't be round for charades anymore 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4388 Well, at least we won't have heavy moving expenses. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4389 I voted for him because he seemed like the lesser of two evils. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4390 And you said voting for Trump was no big deal 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4391 Wonder why our Aleppo tour guide is a no-show? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4392 Maybe we should just go out for dinner. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4393 Now might not be a good time to tell you that I left the stove on. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4394 Your life is in ruins 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4395 This is the last time I give in to one of your "bargain" vacations! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4396 I told you our families wouldn't get along. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4397 So what's next on the agenda? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4398 Adam is my name, hope you don't mind if I call you Eve. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4399 Look on the bright side. Armageddon is finally over with. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4400 Detroit is lovely this time of year. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4401 I personally blame those third party voters. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4402 Well, so much for an off season "all Inclusive" 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4403 My old therapist was never this accommodating. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4404 I'm afraid our relationship is smoldering. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4405 Really? An apple? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4406 I told that voting for Trump would end badly! 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4407 This is not a metaphor. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4408 I told you to not touch the thermostat, Brenda. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4409 I'm not sure Donald Trump is even qualified to sit in an exit row on a plane. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4410 We've been Trumped! 1.1765 0.06606 68 61 2 5
4411 And you were worried about getting the best seats. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4412 What a way to start off a first date? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4413 I told you to turn off the stove 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4414 It all started with your reverse mortgage. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4415 Well, you were right. He really did “shake things up”. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4416 Why do I always have to pick where we eat? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4417 After I told her I was leaving her for you, she blew up! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4418 Nothing but blue skies from now on. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4419 Make America great again, they said. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4420 Awwwk-ward! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4421 Do you think McDonald's is still open? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4422 What did our representative say that so upset Trump? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4423 Will Uber be able to find us? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4424 I told you not to make fun of Trump's hair. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4425 Standards don't matter during the apocalypse. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4426 People are saying we made a huge mistake. Tremendous mistake. Idiots! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4427 Now that we finally have some privacy... 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4428 All I said was that he had some good points on immigration. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4429 That reminds me, did you turn off the kettle? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4430 No, I don't think you have to remind me I voted for the wrong candidate! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4431 Sylvia, those beef burritos were the bomb! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4432 Now look what you did with your vote and we don't have health insurance anymore 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4433 It's not all bad. The White House says rebuilding society will be a tremendous investment opportunity. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4434 Don & Vlad are no longer an item. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4435 I know,I know,but the tickets were nonrefundable. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4436 And you said, "he would never use nuclear weapons ...blah, blah,blah... 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4437 Next time, wear your glasses before setting the timer on the microwave. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4438 I wish you hadn't voted for Trump. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4439 So how is your day going? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4440 I still say Hillary would've been worse. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4441 You voted for who again ? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4442 You wanted open and airy; you got it. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4443 Want a foot massage? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4444 Well at least we don't have to worry about our high deductibles anymore. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4445 You knew that Kansas was always on my bucket list. We can go to Hawaii next year. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4446 After the last election post truth just evolved to post apocalypse 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4447 We have to find a pleasant place in the neighborhood. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4448 Don't say you told me this would happen if the Donald became President 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4449 And there are 1361 days more of this? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4450 Excuse me. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4451 And why would you say that I'm mansplaining this? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4452 Let's not fight over the remote tonight, OK? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4453 Yes, but he's going to build that wall. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4454 The facts may be that the world is destroyed, but I'm entitled to my opinion that we're about to make America great again. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4455 So, how has your day been? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4456 Yelp says they have the best Baklava in Aleppo. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4457 Your ruined hovel or mine? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4458 This is terrible. How will we ever keep up with the Kardashians? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4459 Lesser evil sure isn't what it used to be. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4460 Phew...I thought the kids would NEVER go back to school! 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4461 Maybe this global warming theory has legs. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4462 I keep telling you, I didn't do it. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4463 So, maybe we should start with coffee? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4464 Honey, you really are the last person on earth I'd want to be with. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4465 I missed the episode right before the bombs went off. What happened? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4466 It will be a small wedding. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4467 First dates are a blast. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4468 So now, will you go out with me? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4469 Eve. have you still got that apple, we could try it again. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4470 Know any place that is open for lunch? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4471 There's a silver lining: At least you've got your health! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4472 I guess I should have voted. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4473 I had the courage to change the things I can. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4474 And how does this make you feel? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4475 When my mother visits, you don't need to go nuclear 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4476 Looks like you were right about Humpty Trumpty. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4477 Well, with Hillary it would have been even worse. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4478 Back in the day, Fifth Avenue, Midtown, was a fancy neighborhood. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4479 How is the considered great, again? 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4480 Have you heard back from the insurance company? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4481 I'm sorry I don't date liberals. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4482 And you insisted we vote for him! 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4483 Bombs don't kill people! Bad guys with bombs do! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4484 We can pretend we are from the stone age. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4485 Well, I guess he should have supported the Nuclear Agreement 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4486 We need an address for delivery. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4487 You didn't think that was better than iMax? 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4488 Well at least he was born here. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4489 I told you not to park on the street. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4490 Do you think the insurance will cover it? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4491 It's the scorched earth defense. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4492 So, who did you say you voted for? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4493 Now that I have your undivided attention... 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4494 Don't worry, dear, this is all small stuff. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4495 This blind date ended with a bang. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4496 You and your mystery tours! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4497 And I thought my life was in ruins before. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4498 Pull my finger. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4499 There went 25 years. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4500 So, you left the stove on? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4501 Next year, you pick the vacation. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4502 I'm telling you its not my fault. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4503 Dinner got a little burnt. Shall we order in instead? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4504 I think it's best if you never try to cook again! 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4505 We've got to give unpredictability a chance. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4506 But then I wouldn't have met you, Rosie. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4507 I suppose you're just going to try to ride out our marriage, too. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4508 Hey beautiful, your bomb shelter or mine ? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4509 And how does this make you feel? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4510 I told you this would happen if you voted for Trump. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4511 We should have held off on the redecorating. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4512 Don't blame me. I didn't vote for him. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4513 Have you considered real estate? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4514 It's November 9th. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4515 I'm still focusing on the good. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4516 This might have been easier if we had a prenup. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4517 What's for dinner? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4518 I'm not the one who wouldn't sign the petition. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4519 I think I prefer your 3-alarm chili 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4520 I'm sorry, it's over. We just have nothing to talk about anymore. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4521 Does it really matter that I left dirty dishes in the sink? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4522 So, shall we just agree to disagree? 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4523 Fine. The casserole wasn't that bad. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4524 I said we'd put an end to human rights abuses in this region and I stand by that. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4525 I hear the lines at Disney World are pretty short. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4526 Still not ready to move north? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4527 Frankly, my tweet, I don't give a Trump. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4528 ...well, then how about Outback? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4529 Do you think our smartphones work? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4530 Well, the bus isn't due for another five minutes 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4531 This time you've ruined everything! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4532 See what you've done. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4533 Well, at least you're out of 'I told you so's...' 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4534 Happy? Last man on Earth. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4535 don't worry: we're in new jersey - the clean-up will only last a few more years. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4536 finally, we have our privacy. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4537 I'll tell you what it means, it means no more alternate side parking. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4538 I'm sorry, but your home owners policy doesn't cover nuclear holocaust. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4539 And who did you vote for? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4540 Think of it as a second honeymoon. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4541 He promised a large infrastructure program. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4542 O.k., if i'd known this would happen, I wouldn't have voted for him. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4543 I still won't marry you 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4544 We've got nothing in common. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4545 You said declutter. Now I also have to do it your way? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4546 Well it's not like we haven't been here before. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4547 What about the emails? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4548 The divorce lawyers won. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4549 Woman: You, with your stupid scented candles! 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4550 Wasn't he supposed to to CLOSE his Twitter account? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4551 Shall we go for a stroll? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4552 Someday this will all be yours. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4553 See, I told you after the kids flew the coop we'd still be a nuclear family. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4554 Have you tried an antacid? 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4555 "Will you bury me"? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4556 Did I not ask you to make sure the stove was turned off before you left? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4557 Alright, we'll call it a draw. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4558 Okay. I'll take the garbage out. No need to go nuclear. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4559 But Benghazi! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4560 XYZ Pest Control was very thorough. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4561 Maybe you should run for president. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4562 And then he said there'd be more jobs... And then he said everything would be great again... 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4563 The inauguration was rather rough. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4564 No more inaugurations for me. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4565 I thought we agreed to meet on neutral ground. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4566 'What's the worst that can happen if he wins the election?' No need to speculate now. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4567 He cut me off! What was I supposed to do? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4568 I can't decide. What do you want for dinner? 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4569 It beats renovating 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4570 " I know it hurts to hear this, but there has to be somebody else besides you I can marry. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4571 I never thought you and I would be the last two people left on earth! 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4572 Want to sing "Side by Side"? 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4573 Remember the good old days before Trump, when the New Yorker Caption Contest used to be much better? 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4574 Glad your mother only visits once a year. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4575 Just my luck. Now all my discount coupons are wasted. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4576 I don't know how we got here either 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4577 Maybe building the fireworks factory downtown wasn't such a good idea. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4578 Wow! I'd say your 5-Alarm Chili was way too hot! You should change the name to Chili Con Carnage! 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
4579 Well, I guess I should have voted for your candidate. 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
4580 So, I suppose this is related to that 'sixth extinction' thing you're always talking about. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
4581 We could just spend one night. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4582 I told you not to turn up the thermostat. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4583 I still think we should take a wait-and-see approach here. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4584 Next year we're going to Niagara Falls. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4585 Service here has really gone downhill since Trump built the wall. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4586 So Frank, do you still believe only he can fix it? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4587 Buy you a drink? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4588 Next time I'll remember that to close the gas valve, it's righty - tighty 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4589 Alexa, send me Apocalypse, Now. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4590 Our insurer says campaign expenses are not covered. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4591 Just how long are we going to wait for your mother? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4592 Well I thought it was going to be a good investment! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4593 No I'm not familiar with the 'broken window fallacy' 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4594 Things that occur in the fog of marriage can defy explanation. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4595 I told you not to vote for him. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4596 No Louise, I am still not sorry I voted for Trump. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4597 Finally peace is secured! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4598 But the realtor called it a smoking deal. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4599 So, I arranged to test your theory. Still sticking to that, 'Not if you were the last man on Earth" position? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4600 I concede that Hillary was the lesser of two evils. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4601 Hard Rock Cafe's decor has really gone downhill. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4602 Why are you looking at me? I didn't vote for him 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4603 Forget the FAKE NEWS. America is great again. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4604 I'm getting hungry. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4605 I thought "scorched earth" was to be taken figuratively; not literally. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4606 At least your economic anxiety is gone. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4607 Trump. Forrest Trump. 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
4608 Told you it was risky, Meryl 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4609 I hope they don't delay our check-in time. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4610 That's it, honey - we're over. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4611 I voted for Trump too. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4612 So, it's been a week and I still have ringing in my ears. You? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4613 My parents gave us these blocks. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4614 ...so what do YOU think our divorce looks like? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4615 No, I don't need directions. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4616 Well, so much for 4% growth this year. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4617 Okay, so you were right about the Galaxy 9 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4618 Don't look at me. You made the chili. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4619 How many days until the next presidential election? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4620 Sushi? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4621 You're the one.. who wanted to live next to your mother! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4622 We'll never save humanity with that attitude, Judith. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4623 Don't look at me... It wasn't my tweet. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4624 I know, but who else is there? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4625 The swamp is empty. Now what? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4626 "So what's new with you"? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4627 You said, "He'll kill us all!" WRONG! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4628 But enough about that. How has YOUR 21st of January been? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4629 No more Groupons for vacations! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4630 I thought this mediation session went well, how about you? 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4631 I thought his tweet was a tad harsh. 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
4632 When is this fucking acid going to wear off? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4633 This might be the time to work on our minimalist goals. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4634 Whose idea was this anyhow? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4635 At least we have our love to keep us warm 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4636 You can't blame the Russians for this one! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4637 Looks like you need to reconsider. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4638 Homes explode sometime, it's got nothing to with your mother coming to visit. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4639 I am just really sad about the chicken I put in the oven for you. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4640 By the way, did you remember to close the windows? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4641 Me? I'm waiting for the midterms 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4642 I know what they're going to say. They're going to say we showed too much anger. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4643 See if the PR department can come up with a kinder, gentler name to describe our scorched earth policy. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4644 I told you not to tweet him! 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
4645 I still think that our insurance policy had window coverage. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4646 It doesn't feel 'great'. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4647 To be honest, I think the old microwave was sufficient. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4648 You've proved your point. What now? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4649 So what? He's still got 3 years and 11 months to make America great again. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4650 These theme restaurants are getting tiresome, Paul. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4651 How do you feel about sex now? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4652 at least we don't need to be politically correct anymore 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4653 Wanna dance? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4654 I told you that Trump would bomb in New York ! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4655 Not what I pictured when I think of a 'start-up'. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4656 You may want to rebalance your retirement portfolio. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4657 For the record, I was not fiddling. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4658 Actually I do feel fine how about you? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4659 I thought our marriage was crumbling but I see now it's in complete ruins. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4660 That is the last time we invite you in-laws. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4661 On the plus side, it's very roomy and we don't have to worry about the neighbors. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4662 We have each other. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4663 And who did you vote for? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4664 See what happens when you leave the toilet seat up! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4665 You never want to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4666 I told you our marriage is going down in flames. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4667 I swiped right. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4668 The Inauguration after party was a real blast. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4669 Dorothy and Toto should be along soon. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4670 Well, now we know for sure. You don't microwave a cat. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4671 Well, at least we didn't have another Clinton presidency. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4672 Sitting petty. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4673 I can't remember what our homeowner's policy says about something like this. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4674 January 20th can't come soon enough. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4675 Yeah, and if she didn't have anything to hide, why did she need her own email server? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4676 And that's when I said, "Shiva? Prove it!" 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4677 Is it just me or are you not happy here? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4678 For 2020, we're thinking "Make America Gravel Again" 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4679 Isn't it great to be on the winning side 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4680 I guess we should have read the small print on our reverse mortgage. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4681 The divorce agreement entitles you to half the house! 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
4682 Did you turn out the light? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4683 I don't care what anybody says, I'm still glad I voted the way I did. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4684 I hate to say I told you so -- actually, I really don't mind. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4685 Did you call Barry "You are in Good Hands" guy to see if we are covered? 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4686 Did you leave the stove on again? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4687 As much as I sympathize with what they are going through, I cannot give them a positive Yelp review... 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4688 This property is just brimming with possibilities! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4689 OK. Next time we just won't vote. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4690 When you said you entered us to participate in a cartoon with an edge I wasn't expecting this! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4691 At least my dignity is still standing strong. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4692 Earth isn't scorched--just feels like it after the election. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4693 I expected that traveling to a war zone would give you a better perspective on life. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4694 So Mrs. O'Leary, can you explain once again how your cow caused all this? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4695 I thought he was the better candidate. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4696 Yes, it's an all inclusive resort. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4697 We can't meet here again. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4698 Well I did it. So now, how are we able to get married seeing we are the last two people on earth? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4699 Well, I can't wait to see his next tweet. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4700 In retrospect, you were right, but at the time the e-mail server scandal swayed me. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4701 Just because I voted for the guy, doesn't mean that it's all my fault! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4702 What did you expect?Well we did vote for Trump! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4703 So, how about now? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4704 You don't just grab the first empty table you see. That's anarchy. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4705 any plans tonight? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4706 You said this would be a peaceful inauguration. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4707 Urban renewal has to start somewhere! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4708 Honey, I told you we should have said NOPE to the pipeline. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4709 Don't worry, we're in good hands with Allstate. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4710 Now, where were we before we voted? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4711 I told Alexa I wanted to get bombed for New Years" 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4712 What do you have to lose, he asks. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4713 So, have you ever been on a blind date before? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4714 Emma, would you be offended if I said, "DAMN!" 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4715 So will you go out with me NOW? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4716 So much for not settling. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4717 Me? I was hoping to make America great again. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4718 Don't worry, our government will save us 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4719 You were right and was wrong. Okay? Get over it. 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
4720 I thought it was your turn to watch the kids. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4721 But this IS what Hell freezing over looks like. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4722 Yes, I read about the advancing hurricane...but I assumed it was fake news. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4723 I've always been an advocate of open space. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4724 I've still got my debit card. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4725 Do you think it'should too late to kiss and make up? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4726 So much for your "Dynamite Muffins." 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4727 So, where should we begin? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4728 And then I thought, "I know, I'll cast a protest vote!" 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4729 You had to tweet at Kim Jong-in, "I double dog dare you!" 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4730 ... and I thought we were becoming friends with Russia. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4731 I'm standing firm in my "Not if you were the last women on Earth" position. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4732 And so it goes? That's all you've got? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4733 Who says online dating isn't a blast? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4734 Is this virtual reality, a bad dream, or the election jresults? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4735 Let’s take it slow. There are some things I am not sure about. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4736 I'm just guessing but I don't think the bus makes a stop here anymore. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4737 At least we're lucky to have dressed for work. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4738 Ok...NOW it's your turn. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4739 I can't believe it's been only two months after inauguration. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4740 Same time next year? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4741 I told you not to press that button. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4742 Well, we won't have to pay for online dating service anymore. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4743 Well, next time don't say "I don't care" when I ask you where you want to go on vacation! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4744 You just had to bring up the election during dinner, didn't you? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4745 My mother said this just a taste of what she will do if I actually MARRY you. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4746 Our house, in ruins? Don't believe what you read in the news – they're all fake 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4747 I disagree, Trump succeeded in making America great again. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4748 Looks like it's just you and me against what's left of the world! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4749 Er ... yeah. Thanks. Happy new year to you, too. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4750 Your candidate didn't exactly set the world on fire. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4751 So what if he didn't make America great again? His tweets were great. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4752 Coffee? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4753 This isn't good . . . I lost my cell. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4754 You were saying you'd like half? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4755 It won't happen! Sad! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4756 Be thankful--at least we have our rocks. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4757 Till death do us part. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4758 I guess we'll be eating out now. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4759 Gladys, did I not specifically warn you what would happen if you went with the 'nuclear' option? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4760 Who ever expects their neighborhood to blow up like this? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4761 Great 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4762 See, I told you. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4763 No, you said nuclear was just an option. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4764 Did you really think we were in Rome? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4765 And this is what is experienced when the virtual reality user selects the 'Nuclear Option.' 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4766 Well, he still has 99 days to come up with replace. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4767 But your profile said you were into post-apocalyptic cosplay. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4768 "You wouldn't dare." you said. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4769 Now do you believe me when I said touching that red button was a bad idea? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4770 Now we know there's life in outer space and they've been watching our TV news. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4771 I thought you'd be excited about the free 3-night stay. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4772 How 'bout now? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4773 That scorched-earth attitude of yours does not engender calm communication. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4774 You don't have to agree with me. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4775 Well, Gladys, things sure get a lot more exciting around here when the grand kids visit. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4776 Okay, Linda, you win. I'll take the kids. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4777 I told you not mix the Clorox with ammonia 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4778 I thought the Trumpocalypse was just a metaphor. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4779 I guess you could say I'm a survivor too. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4780 So, what's for lunch? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4781 NOW you tell me your mother canceled her visit. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4782 January 20, 2018 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4783 Well okay, the agent did happen to mention it was a 'pretty distressed' property. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4784 Thanks Obama! 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
4785 Look, I told you I have an explosive personality. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4786 You lost your keys? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4787 Well... I've never been one for small talk 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4788 You think surge pricing has come down by now? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4789 Was this the housing boom you predicted? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4790 They warned us this would happen after January 20! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4791 I TOLD you not to schedule a party for after the apocalypse. 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
4792 'Well, you were the one to suggest we do veganuary' 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4793 Do you really still think that his worst part is his Twitter account? 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4794 Nuclear codes, schmuclear codes. You had to send that Tweet! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4795 You were right about Trump. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4796 Look on the bright side, at least he brought us jobs... 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4797 So, this is what Trump meant by, "Make America Great Again". 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4798 Jane, I found your comments earlier very explosive. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4799 You said, "ALEPPO stood for A Leisurely Excursion- Picturesque Panoramas Overseas". 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4800 Hey, I wasn't the only one who voted for Trump! 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4801 Did you remember your iPhone? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4802 You voted for him, not me. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4803 I accepted their ultimatum. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4804 For better or for worse? This is worse. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4805 But what about those e-mails? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4806 Next time I will just ask for directions. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4807 No, I don't have 99 red balloons. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4808 I told you we left the oven on. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4809 Well honey, you always wanted a "clean slate" 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4810 Will you be my apocalyptic wife? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4811 I still say, lock her up! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4812 I'm not the one who gave the puppy a chemistry set for Christmas. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4813 I didn't think he was going to start from scratch 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4814 Honey, trust me on this one. This area's up-and-coming! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4815 Do you want to reconsider not having sex with me even if I was the last man on earth? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4816 Well, this is "Great" in its own way. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4817 Let's take the Acropolis off the bucket list, shall we? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4818 This is lousy, not great at all. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4819 "Vote for Trump," you said... "Everything will be fine," you said... 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4820 No, I did not leave the gas on. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4821 I said Trump would make a change. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4822 Should I cancel the order for the bay windows? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4823 Is this trash pickup day? 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4824 "...it was just toast". 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4825 Well, it was your idea to tour the Middle East after the inauguration. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4826 Yes. If I was to do it all over again, I would still vote for Trump. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4827 So, how are the kids? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4828 I told you those bridge lessons were a waste of time and money. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4829 Well at least my vote helped to shake things up. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4830 We need a new travel agent. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4831 What do you say we rebuild a future together? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4832 You said it was fake news! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4833 I told you the buses weren't running. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4834 Well apparently some people play the fiddle and some people brood. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4835 But SHE used a private email server! 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4836 You know, somehow I'm just not feeling that great again. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4837 Well I hope now that you are REALLY happy that you voted for him. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4838 Hiroshima, mon amour. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4839 He IS MakingAmericaGreatAgain. Starting with a new foundation! 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4840 Now what? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4841 Is this where you take all of your VR dates? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4842 I told you voting for Trump was a bad idea. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4843 Gail's misuse of "literally" when she meant "figuratively" ruined her 20th anniversary. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4844 I guess that was stupid of me to describe what I'd be wearing, even if it's a blind date. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4845 Well, at least we don't have to worry about Social Security anymore. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4846 Yes, yes, you told me not to vote for him. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4847 Ok, have it your way. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4848 Do you still say that you wouldn't marry me if I was the last guy on earth? 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
4849 I guess more wasn't a good deterrent. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
4850 Raise the roof! You had to tell Alexa… 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4851 ...and that's the plot of the fourth Planet of the Apes. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4852 Let me tell you the story of how it all began. The year was 2016... 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4853 Don't blame me; I voted my conscious. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4854 I had a terrific, amazing first day on the job today! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4855 Well at least the stone seats we just bought didn't burn... 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4856 This place gives your skin a radiant glow. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4857 Hey, it was a wild ride. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4858 What's your beef? I voted my way. You voted yours. My way won. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
4859 So I misunderstood the mortgage 'nuclear option'. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
4860 You sent in the "HOMEOWNERS CHECK" this month,didn't you! 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4861 I TOLD you not to vote for that nut-case! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
4862 They must have hit the wrong reset button... 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4863 De-cluttering maybe wasn't the best idea after all 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4864 We should rebuild that wall. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
4865 At least Hillary isn't using a private email server. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4866 At least it didn't knock over the recycling can. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4867 Did you forget to check the pilot light on the furnace again? 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4868 Three's a crowd. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
4869 I don't HAVE an inside voice! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
4870 Did you hear something? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
4871 Is your dad a terrorist 'cause you da bomb?! Too soon? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
4872 Imagine, if you can, a 24-hour concierge, pool and private roof garden. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4873 I Thougt I Turned The Stove Off. 1.1642 0.06236 67 60 3 4
4874 Let's have sex. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4875 My favorite movie was, uncannily, "Apocalypse Now." 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4876 Lets procreate. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4877 Well, we did say we no longer wanted status quo. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4878 But tweets are not policy 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4879 Making America "great again" is like making an omelet; you're gonna have to crack a couple eggs. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4880 Don't look at me. At least I voted for Gary Johnson so my conscience would be clear if this happened. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4881 Should I leave and come back in? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4882 I told you he would make America great again 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4883 Well, that was a kick in the head! 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4884 We'll always have Paris in '44. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4885 Damn you, Nate Silver. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4886 There wasn't anything good on TV tonight anyway. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4887 I can't find my Kindle. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4888 Yes, we're back in Kansas again. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4889 I still say nuclear proliferation was his best idea. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4890 Next year we are NOT booking holidays in advance. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4891 Did you hear something? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4892 No. I didn't forget to take out the trash. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4893 Don't make me come over there. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4894 I'm American, what do I know? The travel agent suggested Aleppo. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4895 Remember "for better or for worse"? I think this is the worst. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4896 It's nothing fancy, but I call it home. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4897 I told you we shouldn't let your mother move in with us. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4898 Wait, I thought we both voted for him. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4899 You're boring me 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4900 Looks like you're the last man on Earth. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4901 Where do you want to go for dinner tonight? 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4902 I'm still worried about those emails. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4903 The upside is we won't need a lawyer for the divorce. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4904 So you voted for Donald? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4905 Home wrecker? Me? What makes you think that? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4906 Yes, now I regret that I voted for him. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4907 And you said, 'Don't judge him on his Twitter feed.' 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4908 Don't worry, he's going to make it great again. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4909 I told you that God would get us for voting for Trump. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4910 On second thought, let's just order in some sushi. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4911 Didn't I tell you a vote for a third party was a vote for the end of the world? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4912 Don't blame me- I voted third Party! 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4913 I don't know about you, but I think our retirement plans are kaput! 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4914 I asked you if you left the stove on when we left 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4915 I guess I didn't take "scorched earth" seriously when it was just a hashtag on twitter. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4916 So, how does it feel to be Donald Trump's daughter now? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4917 So how bad could Trump be, huh? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4918 What side of the bed do you sleep on? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4919 Hell of a honeymoon, Doris! 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4920 Armageddon is a perfectly good reason not to seek marriage counseling. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4921 How was I to know; all the travel pamphlets recommended it. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4922 It's just us now, and I can't remember if we're Democrats or Republicans. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4923 I told you not to touch the remote. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4924 You should have seen this coming when you tweeted that Trump had thin skin. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4925 Well, everyone knows men can't read directions. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4926 I blame the Russians. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4927 Hell hath no fury like... 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4928 And you said there wouldn't even be anything left to sit on. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4929 And where do you see yourself in five years? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4930 I hope you're satisfied; you voted for him. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4931 Lets give up. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4932 Oh yes sir, mister. I saw you looking at that blonde right before the meteor hit. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4933 Ok, all of your "even if you were the last man on Earth" posturing just became true. Now what? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4934 You never want to go out any more. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4935 We’re done here. Let’s go home. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4936 I'd still vote for Jill Stein. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4937 Did I leave the stove on? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4938 The Giants lost. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4939 I am prepared for this. I have ordered a daily meal kit. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4940 I'm pretty sure that I warned the kids not to burn the house down 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4941 They did say they were going to blow it up after the election . 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4942 I can tell you exactly what Aleppo is if you'll just listen to me. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4943 No, Kevin, I am NOT ready to forgive you for getting me a vacuum for Christmas. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4944 Looks like we're the new world Adam & Eve. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4945 But those emails though... 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4946 Sooo... How are you liking me NOW? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4947 The hotel listing said the view was panoramic 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4948 What's the best number to reach you? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4949 But we ate there last night 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4950 CRUEL FATE: All the time in the world, now…and we get stuck with each other. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4951 Hi, Winnie. My name's Estragon. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4952 It had 4 stars in the travel guide! 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4953 I guess the Greyhound will be a little late. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4954 I miss the old house too, but here, there is no state taxes. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4955 I told you that after this election, their wouldn't be anything left. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4956 When they make the biopic, I want Alec Baldwin to play me 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4957 You said it would be cheap to live here and you were right. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4958 Then there was this bang and the TV went black 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4959 Well, I didn't vote for him. ("I" in italics.) 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4960 Did you forget to open the window? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4961 Once the bitcoin starts raining down, you'll thank me! 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4962 Wanna go to a movie or somethin'? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4963 Again, you're right! Let's move to the suburbs! 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4964 Looks like it's going to be another boring Saturday night. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4965 I admit "lease to own" was a bad idea. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4966 ...but on the plus side, the "comb-over" as a hairstyle is also done. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4967 You said "anything from Pandora" . . . 1.1538 0.06291 65 59 2 4
4968 I told you voting for Trump was not a good idea... 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4969 Well, it turns out you would go out with me if I was the last man on earth, didn't it? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4970 Imagine if you really got mad. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4971 Well, I heard from some very reliable sources that a brand new affordable medical plan will be offered in only two more days. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4972 Eve of destruction my arse. It's 8 am 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4973 Mother was right about you. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4974 Okay, so I promise to vote from here on out. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4975 I miss the Kardashians. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4976 We should have budgeted more for the reno. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4977 We missed our deadline. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4978 That just goes to show that you should never say that things can't get worse. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4979 So tell me, why as a woman, did you vote for Trump? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4980 This is me having an Aleppo moment. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4981 Next time, I'm upgrading to business class. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4982 In four days it will all be great again! 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4983 Well, ...now that I AM THE LAST MSN ON EARTH, will you go out with me? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4984 Everything will be fine, as long as we have coffee. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4985 I'm sorry. I've looked everywhere but I still can't find the remote. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4986 I told you Putin had a short fuse. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4987 It wasn't perfect so I blew it up. I've got vouchers if you need a doctor. 1.1538 0.06291 65 59 2 4
4988 You blinked! I win. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4989 This is the first phase of President Trump's plan to "Make America Great Again". 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4990 On the good side, I won't need to repaint the house. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4991 Yes, but Hillary... 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4992 Ma'am, this is the perfect time for me to demonstrate how our newest vacuum model blows away the competition at picking up dirt and debris. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4993 This is still nicer than being around your parent's. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4994 What do you mean "at least now we won't have to eat my mother's cooking?" 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4995 How do you like me now? 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4996 Now, are you satisfied? 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
4997 How's that wall working for you? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4998 You're STILL the Coy Mistress!? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4999 Hindsight in 2020? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5000 Okay, you won't go out with a married man. Now what? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5001 Of course you'll still get to use that Anthropology degree. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5002 See I told you to vote. Now look at us. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5003 How many times do I have to say it? Hillary was the better candidate. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5004 That was no 'mild' fart 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5005 Don't worry, this is good for our Bitcoin portfolio. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5006 Okay maybe I should've voted for her 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5007 So, how far do you think the "wall" is from here? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5008 Really? Then let's eat out tonight. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5009 I'm a builder. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5010 I spy with my little eye. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5011 What a dump! 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5012 Well, I think Vice President is quite an accomplishment. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5013 I told you I thought I smelled gas. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5014 Would putting in a park bench or two be the end of the world? 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5015 "Will you bury me"? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5016 Your point? It's not like he deleted any emails. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5017 I gather that the jury has reached a verdict. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5018 Well, I wouldn't exactly call it urban renewal. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5019 If Bernie Sanders had been the nominee this never would have happened. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5020 Is now a good time to talk about divorce? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5021 See? Trump put us on top of the heap again. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5022 He said that he would create jobs, bigly. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5023 The Real Estate developers are getting pretty aggressive 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5024 We will make America great again. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5025 Maybe now you'll finally shut up about global warming. 1.1538 0.06291 65 59 2 4
5026 we should not have voted for him 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5027 We do have a lot in common said Freddie Mac to Fannie Mae. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5028 Now what were we saying, before that rude interruption? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5029 This neighborhood is blowing up 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5030 She didn't get into Harvard? 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5031 You're the one who insisted on a quiet suburb. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5032 OK. I guess you were right. I shouldn't have voted that way. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5033 I know it's not much now, but the real estate agent said in twenty years we could be living in the next Tribeca. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5034 I know you said "not until hell freezes over," but won't you reconsider? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5035 Raising pigs is a lot harder than you'd think, Melanie. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5036 yooooouuu bitch ! 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5037 Sorry, just sat through Trump's press conference and I'm not in the mood to be funny this week. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5038 Don't worry Joan; the TV remote is in my pocket. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5039 Maybe you're just one of those women whose joy can't be sparked. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5040 You just HAD to send him that tweet, didn't you?! 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5041 I guess that it can't be secret anymore. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5042 Well, what do you think of Allepo? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5043 Wait, how many more days is it until November 3rd, 2020? 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5044 They should have never criticized the Taco Salad. Sad. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5045 Can't we just get along? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5046 My Fault?! You're the one that wanted a dog! 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5047 Scorched earth policy Ms. Conway! 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5048 Well, I was worried about the e-mail server. 1.1538 0.06291 65 59 2 4
5049 Well, after the election, things started to go downhill. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5050 Maybe we should move to La La Land. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5051 So much for open political discussions at Thanksgiving dinner. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5052 ChernobylSingles.com 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5053 I know this is just a dream, but could you just this once please give me the benefit of the doubt 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5054 What's for dinner tonight? 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5055 Well, he didn't lie. That was tremendous. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5056 Frankly, none of it sparked joy. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5057 I thought we only were doing a bathroom remodel. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5058 I thought you said "the best house on the worst block"! 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5059 Sorry, I forgot to take my Prozac. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5060 Something got you down? 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5061 Knocking down a few walls has done wonders for this place. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5062 The attorney called it a "traditional" divorce. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5063 Don't give me that look, it was YOU who wanted to downsize 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5064 They're not sending us their best people. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5065 Mutually Assured Seduction 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5066 I'm tired of fighting, so let's call a truce. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5067 No, I am the cornerstone of this community! 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5068 At the time, I thought it was cute when Trump liked nukes and knew more than generals. 1.1515 0.05811 66 59 4 3
5069 Are you trying to sabotage our relationship, again? 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5070 Ever heard of a Golden Shower, Mildred? 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5071 Happen to see my dry cleaning ticket ? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5072 Really, Sarah? Must you lay waste to the countryside every time I'm little late? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5073 Baby you're a firework. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5074 Putin was serious. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5075 You from around here? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5076 But just think if Hillary had won. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5077 Dammit Richard 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5078 The issue is, we still have each other. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5079 I told you a vacation in Mosul would lead to this. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5080 Time to consider Plan B? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5081 Okay. Now, let's talk. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5082 Do you think you can make me some coffee? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5083 Look on the bright side. Now we've got that open-floor plan you've always wanted. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5084 Our neighborhood just isn't what it used to be. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5085 I've had just about enough of you! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5086 Well, here we are - the last two people on earth. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5087 It you are thinking, we still have each other, forget it! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5088 Don't you believe we're on the eve of destruction? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5089 Still better than using private email! 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5090 I was thinking of the ruins of Palmyra, not Aleppo. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5091 You must admit, DIY has been very good to us. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5092 I knew we were in the wrong line at the airport. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5093 A Clinton administration would have been worse. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5094 Welcome to the Aleppo Visitor's Center. How can I help you? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5095 She who smel't it, dealt it. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5096 I told you voting for him would be a YUGE mistake. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5097 I'm gonna beat the hell out of you if you blame the Republicians one more time Henry! 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5098 You didn't have to start WWIII just because I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5099 This is the start to Make America Great Again. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5100 So, you were saying... 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5101 Look, was that a definite "even if you were the last man " or a " I'll think about it?" 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5102 I think I love our little grandkids as much as anybody, but, I admit, when their parents come to pick them up I am not all that sad, 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5103 The realtor said there's been talk of bringing the train line through here. I say we hear her out. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5104 Now doesn't that feel liberating 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5105 That was very impressive, but maybe a little extreme for a first date. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5106 So if it's really the end of the world then why are you still here smarty-pants? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5107 But, the Trump Tower still stands. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5108 We're no longer in the fetal position. That's a step. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5109 Hey, this is way better than having classified emails on a private server. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5110 We can sit here as long as you want, but I still won't agree with you. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5111 Your sex strike ends now. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5112 Is this the midlife crisis they warned us about? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5113 So... how serious were you about that "not if you were the last man on earth" stuff? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5114 So, I'll play Adam and you, Eve... 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5115 Do you believe in destiny? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5116 I drove for Uber before all this crap happened. How about you? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5117 You were right, I should have unplugged the coffee pot. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5118 Hey, I didn't vote for him either. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5119 I told you the apocalypse would come before our kids did. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5120 This virtual-reality trend has gone too far. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5121 Thanks a lot, Obamacare. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5122 I guess the only thing we can do now is try to re-populate. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5123 This doesn't look half as bad as the South Bronx did. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5124 Well, as my profile says, I am not a zombie, so… what do you say? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5125 I knew he was a brash sex-fiend ding-a-ling, I just thought he would be more interesting.... 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5126 So the stove was on... Pizza? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5127 No, you're the immigrant. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5128 I was expecting problems with Trump, but not so soon. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5129 But he promised to make America great again. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5130 I thought you said you knew how to make coffee. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5131 Disruptive innovation under Trump lacks nuance or even irony. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5132 Have you taken out the dog? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5133 I'm sure we'll get seated for dinner any minute now 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5134 But the travel website said this was a 'smoking hot' destination. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5135 At least we are on the street where you live! 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5136 I think I'll stick to cooking Ramen Noodles. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5137 ... and we can visit the grandchildren in June. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5138 This was one option. Moving was another. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5139 OK, I promise. No fireworks at the next family reunion. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5140 Can I call you later? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5141 All right , who decided, the path less taken? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5142 I think Mike Pence's Refugee Conversion Therapy will work. I already feel like only god can save me here. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5143 I've got an extra ticket to the Keith Richards concert if you're interested. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5144 Am I good enough for you now, Luverne? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5145 Obviously, our options are severely limited. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5146 I didn't vote for Trump..Did you? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5147 But you said you were tired of neighbors 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5148 It said it was organic on the label. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5149 I always meant to take notes on how civilization progressed as far as yesterday. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5150 This neighborhood's really going downhill. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5151 I'm officially the last person on Earth, so get yourself ready for a visit from the love docta. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5152 Well, at least kids had to "Well, at least the kids have to move out. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5153 ``We can now eliminate the city condo. That leaves the duplex in the gated community or the suburban colonial. Any strong preference?'' 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5154 You agreed, "Low cost, adventure vacation, off the beaten path" sounded interesting 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5155 So, are you an only child, as of today, or before all of this happened? 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5156 I guess someone didn't like his hair. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5157 I don't care. I'd still vote for Jill Stein. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5158 Any chance you meant to type minimalism? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5159 Your brother is never on time. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5160 I think it's a complete re-build 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5161 well; I guess the Russia relationship WAS wrong! 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5162 So as you can see, we are in a period of rebuilding. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5163 I guess we won't be using that microwave anymore! 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5164 I guess the blowout we had last week over increasing our 401k savings seems somewhat mild now. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5165 Trump said he's going to bring the factories back. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5166 So, this is what our real estate agent meant by contra-gentrification. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5167 No, it's your turn to take out the trash. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5168 Why can't you hear what's in my heart? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5169 Indeed, Mad Max looked a tad more glamourous 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5170 Well, you voted for Trump... 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5171 Do you think George R. R. Martin survived? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5172 Ok, ok. You were right. But you can bet there will be no Mexicans coming across the border! 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5173 Who knew dystopia would mean we'd be sitting atop our tombstones? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5174 Frankly my dear I don't give a damn 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5175 I ask because your posture suggests you may be preoccupied by something. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5176 Looks like its just you and me. Too bad you're a Republican. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5177 I told you Tommy's chemistry set was a bad idea. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5178 Everything you touch turns to smolder. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5179 Remember when whoopie cushions were all the rage? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5180 Aleppo tried to warn us of those damn Russian real-estate agents.... 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5181 It's not quite how I thought it would look . 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5182 Did you get the cigarettes out of the house? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5183 I told you not to use a scorched earth campaign. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5184 Maybe you and I got off on the wrong foot. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5185 A brand new plan? Together this time? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5186 Also, two or three weeks ago all the garden catalogues started arriving in the mail. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5187 You're right. This place is da bomb. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5188 See, hunny, I told you it was useless organizing that attic... 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5189 Does this job include room and board? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5190 I have nothing to complain about. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5191 I'm STILL not going to your mother's birthday party. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5192 If we are the new Adam and Eve, aren't we a bit on the old side to be able to procreate and repopulate the earth? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5193 I'm sure the waiter will arrive any moment. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5194 I know, I know. It's a bit of a fixer upper, but what do you think? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5195 I THINK WE WON! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5196 Now that I'm the last man on Earth, perhaps you'd like to reconsider. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5197 Well, I KNOW it wasn't me! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5198 Where exactly was that red line again? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5199 None of this would've happened if you just got over Hillary Clinton's emails! 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5200 I told you we shouldn't visit Iraq for vacation 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5201 No-one ever told me there'd be days like this. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5202 I told you it was a fixer-upper. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5203 Evidently your Samsung blew. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5204 We should have worked harder at compromise 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5205 Yes, Dorothy...I'd say it's a Toto loss. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5206 Is this good karma or bad karma? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5207 HE JUST WANTED SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF HIS COUNTRY TO SAY "WE LOVE YOUR HAIRCUT". 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5208 WOW! The party was a blast! 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5209 I heard the new HUD plan will be good for jobs and the economy. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5210 I used to come here before the war. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5211 I'm beginning to think that somebody has an issue with us. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5212 Okay...okay...you were right! We should have had the calamari in Monterey instead of the sushi in Fukushima. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5213 I like your place. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5214 Well, at least he's building a wall. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5215 Ok, next time you wash and I'll dry. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5216 That email server seemed so important during the election. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5217 So do you want to try the mannequin challenge? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5218 What do you want to do for lunch? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5219 So, about that date.... 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5220 I voted for Jill Stein. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5221 He said something about having a bad hair day 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5222 I told you Trump was trouble. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5223 Man, you've gotten fat. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5224 Do you think it's too late to kiss and make up? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5225 Who do you like for the Supreme Court? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5226 'Best of all, it has easy access to downtown' 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5227 Will you be my Facebook friend now? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5228 So, did you finish your bucket list? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5229 Oh NOW you want to get dinner... 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5230 At least we still have eachother 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5231 Who did you vote for again? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5232 So, this looks like a nice spot for a garden. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5233 What do you mean the apocalypse isn't a valid excuse for canceling dinner with your parents? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5234 I guess I should have clarified what I meant by 'Fixer Upper' ... 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5235 I knew he planned to drain it, but this seems like overkill. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5236 So, who are you going to vote for this year? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5237 I still feel "he told it like it was". 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5238 Armageddon? No, never heard of it. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5239 This area is really blowing up right now. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5240 You happy? I'm no longer obsessed with Facebook. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5241 Yes, the smoke bothers my eyes as well. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5242 When you asked where I wanted to go for my birthday I said, " to see Rio", not "to Syria." 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5243 That was your "little" secret? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5244 '' you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off'' 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5245 Do you think these pants go with the Apocalypse? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5246 Checkmate! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5247 What are you cooking for tonight... 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5248 Now are you sorry you took a bite out of my grilled cheese? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5249 Do you think we can still call our Representative and complain? 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5250 Your frustration notwithstanding, Bert, they clearly said they'd call our names when it was our turn. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5251 So did you hear that Nick is The Bachelor? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5252 It's 2am at the bar all over again. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5253 Your love is intoxicating, or that could be the asbestos. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5254 And so it goes. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5255 Some idiot named Joe Dator is asking people to say something funny about our desolation. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5256 He thought they were fake numbers created by a 400 lb guy sitting in his bedroom. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5257 Don't worry--once the Republicans see your picture, they will allow you to enter the country as a refugee. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5258 Dorothy, I am leaving you. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5259 Don't blame me, I voted for Jill Stein. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5260 Don't blame me. I voted for Her 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5261 "Now that we've done the conflict-zone tour, I think I'm going to REALLY love it when the bus comes back; or any bus - to anywhere. How about you?"... 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5262 Are you sure waiting here for a taxi is a good idea? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5263 So, does the #3 usually run late this time of day? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5264 I told you they didn't like us. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5265 Nice to meet you Eve, my name is Adam. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5266 Is your apartment rent stabilized? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5267 I asked you to turn off the death ray. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5268 Don't you think our relationship is affecting other people? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5269 The first 100 days have certainly gone well. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5270 Consider this the reset to "Make America Great Again". 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5271 Home isn't quite like I remember it. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5272 So I said if you really are Thor prove it. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5273 Now you're just being a jerk. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5274 I told you we were late. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5275 You're right, dear. I shouldn't have kept saying, "don't worry, 2017 will be way better." 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5276 Hey, I liked that he was a straight-talker. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
5277 Did you bring the Dystopian-Bismol? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5278 If you're expecting me to help repopulate, you're going to have to work on your role-playing. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5279 Beans for lunch. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5280 After all these years... Alone with each other... 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5281 How's life been treating you? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5282 Well, at least now he can build his wall. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5283 When I said "this means war" I meant it! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5284 Eat in, or take out? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5285 No more Tweets from the Tower! 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5286 That vacuum salesman seemed a bit odd. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5287 I told you nothing would happen. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5288 I knew we never should have given him the nuclear code 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5289 That is the last time we eat your "20 alarm " chili 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5290 I guess that puts a damper on our restaurant plans. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5291 Well, you're the one who always wanted to see Chicago. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5292 What is Aleppo? 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5293 Aleppo isn't what it used to be. 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
5294 That was really rocky 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5295 I told you not to vote for Gary Johnson... 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5296 Gosh, Honey. was it something I said? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5297 At least we still have eachother 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5298 You're the one who voted for Trump! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5299 You think my vote caused this? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5300 oh shit are we both cartoon people drawn by someone for the new yorker? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5301 At least Twitter is still free... 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5302 Do they give refunds on turkey fryers? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5303 Call your mother. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5304 I heard the neighborhood was degentrifying. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5305 yes, dear. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5306 sooooo were all thats left. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5307 What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5308 Sorry, but in light of your email server issues, we have to let you go. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5309 Gee, I voted for Trump, too. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5310 I told you it wouldn't work 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5311 So, how about now? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5312 The tour guide says the food here is wonderful 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5313 On second thought, maybe the A1 bus doesn't stop here. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5314 Not even then, eh? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5315 Didn't you mention earlier that we'd be ordering out for dinner? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5316 I think we need a divorce. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5317 Talk about mutual assured destruction. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5318 This isn't so GREAT. I want my vote back. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5319 See, we didn't need to drain the swamp. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5320 Wanna see a movie? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5321 I guess greatness is in the eye of the beholder. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5322 So I'm not covered under the "Act of Clod" exemption? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5323 Your'e on. I spy with my little eye, something... desolate 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5324 'I double dog dared him to put those two wires together." 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5325 Honey, I think the sink is broken 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5326 It depends on your definition of 'unique destination experience'. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5327 On second thought, time traveling to Dresden for our honeymoon was a bad idea. 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5328 Your profile said you were the bomb but this just blows me away. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5329 Did you remember to take out the garbage? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5330 Wanna get married? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5331 Welcome to Trumptopia. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5332 We'd better get started. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5333 I call half the wreckage. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5334 The good news is that you finally get to use your re-decorating skills. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5335 Wasn't me. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5336 Just hold on for another year and we'll retake the house. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5337 The stores go here - the condos go in the back of the lot. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5338 I feel great again - don't you? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5339 Oh well, I thought your parents would be happy when we told them. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5340 Please, Chris, explain to me just once more why you didn't ask Trump which bench he was putting you on! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5341 Is it my fault that the directions in the YouTube video were wrong? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5342 A bright future lies ahead 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5343 It all started on Twitter. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5344 In the Midwest we call that a fixer-upper. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5345 All things aside, the future looks brighter. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5346 At first I thought I was in my own nightmare. Then I thought, "how bad can he be?". Then, "let's give him a chance." Then, "it's just four years". 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5347 You blinked first! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5348 So, you want to start procreating the world? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5349 Hera, Darling, I'm sorry about the affair. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5350 We're ruined! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5351 You're the one who cancelled our Tweeter account. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5352 what've we got for dinner 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5353 You have to admit, her emails were pretty troubling. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5354 Scorched Earth Policy! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5355 'I'm going to try to salvage the seat cushions.' 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5356 This might not be the best time but I couldn't help but notice you from tower one. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5357 How about a nice merlot and a movie? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5358 I wonder when our bus is due? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5359 He did say he was going to drain the swamp. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5360 I'd prefer not to stand between your rock and a hard place. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5361 Start from scratch? That's what he meant by "Make America Great Again"? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5362 On most magazine subscriptions, we can get you 60 percent off! On People Magazine, 74 percent! On Vogue, 89 percent! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5363 I thought YOU had the remote 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5364 I told you two years ago we should have gotten termite treatment. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5365 You still happy with that third party vote? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5366 You can't blame this on your parents never giving you a pony. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5367 How can you still defend Trump? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5368 Yes, I did vote for Trump! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5369 Okay already. Now I believe you when you said you smelled a gas leak! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5370 Glad we could work this out 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5371 The passage of the Tycoon will be worse than this typhoon. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5372 We haven't received your usual generous donation. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5373 You're right honey, I should have voted for Hillary.. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5374 As I was saying.... 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5375 How about Starbucks? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5376 It wasn't the first explosive argument 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5377 All I did was ask "Alexa" if she wanted play WarGames with "WOPR". 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5378 Enough already! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5379 How do you like our new tiny house? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5380 I guess it's just the two of us now. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5381 You said you wanted to get away from it all. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5382 Still think I'm worrying too much about Trump? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5383 Well, in retrospect, maybe it WAS a self-indulgent vote. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5384 Now will you sign the divorce papers? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5385 Honey, please tell me what's wrong? 'Nothing' 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5386 Shall we try family counseling? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5387 Don't tell me Atomic Theory is only a theory. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5388 Look, Airbnb isn't for everyone. But 'quaint' does feel apt here. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5389 Try to think positive, you have a chance to start this job with a clean slate. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5390 I told you that price was too good to be true. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5391 I told you not to fiddle. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5392 This is not my fault. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5393 lets try the next block! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5394 Nobody listened to me when I said there is no "Self" in a "Self Driving Car." 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5395 I had feeling this might happen 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5396 I promise. No more twitter wars. 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5397 So who knew ? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5398 Love your furniture pieces. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5399 and your Plan B is? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5400 Do you understand now why I said that your outbursts were acquiring an explosive nature? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5401 Do you get the sense our relationship is encountering a rough patch? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5402 So I might have been a bit heavy handed with the lighter fluid on the charcoal. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5403 No, I just took that to mean "we're all going to 'dye' Easter eggs," or something. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5404 January 21, 9.01 am: 'So I guess he did read your tweet.' 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5405 OK,"you heard a noise. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5406 Isn't the devastation beautiful this time of year? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5407 I've never seen anything so beautiful- at least around here. 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5408 Don't be such a snowflake. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5409 Beans, beans......! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5410 But he said he would make our country great again! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5411 I feel fine. You? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5412 Sweetheart, I swear it meant nothing. You're the one I love. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5413 Do you want to build a snowman? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5414 See? I told you Trump wouldn't be that bad. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5415 Then Trump said "You can't bluff me" 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5416 Hey! Stay out of my genre! 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5417 I just think a therapist might help with your anger issues. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5418 We can be the cheapest on the block... 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5419 I've been coming here for years, it's such an oasis of peacefulness. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5420 What the hell did you expect - when your divorce law firm's name is Scorched, Earth & Associates?! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5421 Gee, I voted for Trump, too. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5422 I guess this rules out dinner at Nobu. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5423 That didn't spark as much joy as I thought 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5424 You're just saying that because you're bitter that Hillary lost. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5425 It was dirt cheap. The property was advertised as being in a slum renewal area 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5426 I can't believe these seats have no backs -- much less cushions. 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5427 They're implementing a new "work from home" policy. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5428 What if we're really just living within a Trump tweet? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5429 Well, it made America great again, so I'm all for it. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5430 You've been wanting a new kitchen. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5431 Well, I guess it's up to us. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5432 Hot pockets! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5433 So now, will you go out with me? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5434 Is this what they call "meeting cute"? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5435 Now look what you've done, Ollie. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5436 I told you no one was going to show up to another one of your parent's anniversary dinners. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5437 We still have Carrier, Martha! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5438 Let's not argue, it's chilly enough with the nuclear winter. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5439 I told you I had some trapped gas, I didn't know you did too! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5440 I thought the inauguration was to be a celebration. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5441 Well look dear, on the bright side, downsizing will be a snap. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5442 Now that I am the last man on Earth ... I think I will test your reluctance to date nonetheless ... 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5443 do you suppose we will still have rent control 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5444 Two words: Donald Trump. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5445 You're making mountains out of molehills! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5446 Of course, maybe I DIDN'T turn the stove off before we left... 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5447 Myron, women do not fart. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5448 On the bright side, no one used a private email server. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5449 On the bright side, we should be able to get that land for our new house for pennies. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5450 You said a STEM chemistry kit was the the perfect gift for our kids. Now we're left with nothing but plant stems. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5451 I guess the five star general wasn't referring to the hotel. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5452 You got your scorched-earth divorce settlement. Happy now? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5453 We saved you a corner office. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5454 After you set the self-cleaning oven you left to avoid the fumes? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5455 I love the smell of napalm in the morning ... 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5456 What cruel irony--my glasses are fine. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5457 I don't want to settle for "just someone". 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5458 Well, anyway. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5459 Your turn to do the dishes tonight 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5460 So, what else is new? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5461 This is all part of 'Making America Great Again.' 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5462 'cause that's what lawyers do. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5463 I think this is what they call 'dystopian' 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5464 Look around you. It's not like you can be picky. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5465 Go figure. Designated Survivor? That's what they told me! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5466 Give him another chance. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5467 You must do something about your flatulence. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5468 I told you this would happen. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5469 Sure, we can make it great again! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5470 I warned you I'd use the nuclear option. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5471 Did you turn down the thermostat? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5472 Yes, he had small hands, but all it took was one teeny finger to push the button. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5473 I'd call our budget cuts a ponderous success. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5474 You suppose we should report a power outage? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5475 Road trip? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5476 Too much chili powder and too many beans. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5477 No, it's your San Andreas Fault. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5478 At least he was good for trade. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5479 No. I still refuse to apologize for my vote! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5480 Let's get married. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5481 I'm still glad that I voted for Trump. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5482 And you're still dressed like it's 1949. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5483 Well, I still think you're being a bit melodramatic. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5484 I guess we arent in Kansas anymore, Dorothy! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5485 And your garden could go here...!? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5486 You were saying something about equitable distribution. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5487 Maybe we should get some counseling? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5488 I don't think they took his Red Line seriously. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5489 They're your family, not mine. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5490 The emails trumped my good judgment. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5491 No, I never said, 'primitive camping!' 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5492 What should we do about the lawn ? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5493 So much for surgical precision. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5494 You'd have your walking shoes with you if you hadn't insisted on checking our luggage. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5495 I'm sorry Honey! I didn't know my words could unleash the U.S.'s latest weapon--the Twitter Bomb! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5496 What the Hell do you have to loose? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5497 (sigh)...I suppose there's time now. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5498 At least we don't have to write the neighbors again about their tree blocking our view. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5499 I told you your temper would blow up som,eday. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5500 Okay! I finally see your point. Our marriage is on the rocks. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5501 This is not Trump's fault. It's the lingering effects of ObamaCare... 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5502 Trump asked, "If we have nuclear capability, why don't we use it?" 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5503 Just don't yell "Blast it!" next time you get angry at me. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5504 Well, at least he doesn't have pneumonia ! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5505 Now we can get on with our lives. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5506 His second term will be even better! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5507 Probably two financial advisors was a bad idea. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5508 You think the shrink will show? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5509 I thought our first date went fairly well. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5510 Rock-paper-scissors for who gets to invent the wheel? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5511 Yeah, but she had that email server. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5512 I told you to wear sensible shoes. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5513 Alright, alright! I'll admit my taco bowl tweet was a little on the harsh side, Gladys. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5514 Now I know what the senator meant by the "nuclear option." 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5515 Is nuclear winter a bad season to procreate? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5516 I never thought I'd see the day when the best answer to one plus one is three. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5517 Well, yes, I may not look too fit in these clothes, but I did survive, didn't I? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5518 Remind me again how this is an 'opportunity'? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5519 Don't worry, I have spent our left over dollars to buy insurance 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5520 And to think the self-help seminar was in 30 minutes. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5521 We are sitting on what is left of The Wall, señora. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5522 It was just one tweet. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5523 ....He tweeted the wrong guy I guess?.. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5524 Vegetable gardening in, ballroom dancing and golf out -- agreed? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5525 So what should we do next? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5526 OK! When I said get rid of all the mice? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5527 It was your idea to move to Aleppo. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5528 Yes dear, i do hear your opinion, but has life factually changed since November 8th? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5529 Have you ever raised kids? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5530 Do you recall who recommended our travel agent? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5531 Who knew you were really cooking with gas. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5532 It was bound to happen. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5533 And that is why you do not feed your gremlin after midnight 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5534 I didn't think he meant that kind of grate 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5535 Half of Nothing is better than Nothing. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5536 It's never to late 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5537 So is it mid century modern this time? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5538 I told you to wait for the next Real Estate Bubble, not Explosion! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5539 I never should have voted for Trump. 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5540 I think you used too much drain cleaner dear! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5541 What's your sign? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5542 Your black bean soup always gives me explosive gas. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5543 Some day this will be a fond memory. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5544 Stop saying you told me so! Can we just not fight right now. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5545 The most intense staring contest of all time. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5546 I told you a french bulldog was a mistake 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5547 Him: "So where do you want to meet for coffee next week?" Her: "Depends what's still around." 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5548 Well it worked...."burn it all down" voter! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5549 I told you that comedian was gonna bomb. 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
5550 No Netflix, but we can still "chill". 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5551 Trump l'oeil 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5552 I guess this is what economy-class seating gets you. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5553 I insist on 50% custody of the children. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5554 Is there a draft in here or is just me? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5555 So I decided to blow it up and start over again. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5556 So, what do you say to a little 'hide the salami' to get civilization going again? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5557 Why should terrorists have all the fun? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5558 Who'd 'a thunk it? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5559 Thank God. HE saved us. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5560 You know your cooking gives me gas. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5561 So, what do you do in your free time? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5562 Forrest, that bus isn't coming. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5563 I wish they hadn't mentioned the emolument clause. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5564 Peace at last. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5565 Where have all the flowers gone? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5566 Why do I always feel like on the hot seat when we talk about your mother moving in with us? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5567 You're upset that Game of Thrones won't be on? What about the playoffs? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5568 It's just the democratic process at work. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5569 Well, you shouldn't have voted Johnson. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5570 Dateline January 21st, 2017: ``You gotta give Trump props for efficiency." 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
5571 My dating app suggested we meet somewhere more exciting. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5572 It's not the end of the world if you can't make the meeting later. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5573 Denial works every time 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5574 It's ok, mom--it's called a 'movie set.' 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5575 The White House says the Russians hacked the nuclear code, get over it. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5576 Margaret, it was just a meaningless fling. No need to go ballistic. 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
5577 Who Farted? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5578 ...and you thought the world wasn't going to end... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5579 I was talking to Marge yesterday and apparently Frank got so drunk at Peggy's wedding they had to take him home in a wheelbarrow.ha ha ha what a characterso So you ready to plunder the next villag 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5580 Did I leave the iron on? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5581 I told you marriage counseling wouldn't help. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5582 I never said I objected to moving in with your mother. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5583 It depends on whether you are in a community property or equitable distribution state. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5584 So, the 'Downsize Me' app needs some work. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5585 Good thing we wore our rapture-proof underwear! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5586 You're just like your mother... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5587 Society may have collapse, but I am still head of this household. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5588 I knew we shouldn't have voted for Trump. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5589 That, dearie, was a bit more than a tiff! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5590 Do you speak Zombie? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5591 No, I'm not sorry I didn't vote for her. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5592 Don't worry so much about what other people think of you. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5593 I hate Twitter. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5594 I am not sure how you wanted me to vote. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5595 Well, ... Shall we get started...? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5596 I didn't mean to drop a bomb on you. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5597 Heard any good jokes? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5598 "Well, I didn't vote for him." [emphasis on 'I'] 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5599 Do I have spinach in my teeth? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5600 I couldn't have known Trump disliked Hollywood this much when I booked the trip. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5601 The contractor said the foundation was shifting. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5602 We can now start building greatness again. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5603 Now we will never know what was in those emails! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5604 We share peace in mind. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5605 Well, I feel fine. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5606 I warned you not to vote for Trump! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5607 Well, Yelp did say this place was blowing up. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5608 I know you said property in Aleppo was cheap, but this really doesn't seem worth it. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5609 Fix me a sandwich and I wouldn't have tried to microwave that pizza roll. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5610 I came, I saw, I sat, 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5611 So much for bromance. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5612 The ocean view place would have been 10X this. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5613 It has been 2 days now, are you sure you called our insurance agent? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5614 Should we buy the virtual reality glasses now? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5615 why do we need the weather channel... why do we need the weather channel! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5616 Well, I guess we don't have to pay the bills this month!! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5617 Not terrific, nor tremendous. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5618 What happened?" "Oh not much, Trump's just redecorating the Oval Office. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5619 Maybe we should enroll in an anger management class. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5620 Apparently, he wasn't politically correct enough. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5621 Well, they still have 99 days to come up with replace. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5622 Honey, remember the toaster that was always on the blink? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5623 Surely you get a deeper appreciation for the cloud. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5624 BuzzFeed. January 21, 2017 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5625 Do you smell smoke? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5626 Too late to reconsider the scorched earth divorce? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5627 Did you see how many likes I got? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5628 I asked you not to invite your mother 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5629 Maybe your folks would like it if we dropped in on them. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5630 The world as we know it has ended. Now what are we going to talk about? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5631 On the bright side we don't live in Midtown. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5632 I told you not to light a match in there! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5633 I told you he wants new housing projects. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5634 So... yeah. Maybe this vacation wasn't such a good deal after all. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5635 Your insurance plan didn't include nuclear coverage 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5636 In shock at the end of the world, Roy had pooped himself. Maria would not have sex with him. 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
5637 I told you that you always forget to turn the oven off. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5638 Everything happens for a reason 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5639 Nobody on the Oscars ever mentioned it once! 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
5640 I still say it is a Chinese hoax. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5641 What are thoughts on reverse mortgages? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5642 Do you always speak with such fury? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5643 You Do remember I said "I never promised you a rose garden "? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5644 What!? No! Martha, I thought YOU got us disaster insurance, .. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5645 '' What're you lookin' at!? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5646 Less is more. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5647 Glass ceiling? That's the least of our problems. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5648 I told you not to use gasoline on the charcoal grill. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5649 Chinese steel. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5650 I think you fail to appreciate its explosive charm. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5651 You had to vote Trump. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5652 It probably wasn't a good idea to give gift cards this Christmas. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5653 I told you none of your captions for the cartoon would be considered funny. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5654 Does this mean I won't be getting my coal mining job back? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5655 Please say you'll come to our next class reunion. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5656 Okay then . . . tea? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5657 Apparently, our household insurance doesn't cover forgetting to renew it. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5658 I told you not to vote for that guy! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5659 Well... we finally have the alone time we so badly needed. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5660 "May I call you?" "Don't you mean 'Can I call you?'"? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5661 Thank god we still have twitter. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5662 We can make America great again 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5663 So this is how is ends 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5664 You're mad? You didn't even say 'gesundheit'. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5665 Don't look at me like that Jane, you knew what was in store when the Knicks played the Warriors. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5666 Who told you Aleppo was a fun place to visit? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5667 Yeah, well, um...emails! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5668 Well at least I don't have to hear any more complaints about my not doing housework. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5669 You know you have bad luck when the last man or woman on Earth is your ex. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5670 I hear Dresden has become a great place to visit again. 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
5671 I told you voting for the Green Party would blow up in your face! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5672 Better luck next year 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5673 Where do you think they'll send the mortgage payment book? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5674 Remodel or sell? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5675 I still have tickets for the train. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5676 Chaos means opportunity. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5677 ...and that's how Trump kicked off that fourth war. How about you lot? What was Brexit like? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5678 You, of all people. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5679 My God, you forgot to mention that the Intro to Teleporting class would include a visit to the end of time. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5680 The marriage councillor said you mustn't blow things up! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5681 I think we should wait, he said, he'll be back... 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5682 You always over-react. Just because I'm leaving you for someone younger and thinner, it's not the end of the world. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5683 Is this what he meant by "great again"? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5684 Doris, that's not what I meant by "something naughty" ! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5685 I didn't catch that quirk in your profile. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5686 Well...he drained the swamp....but at least we have a wall. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5687 And I still say that Bernie Sanders would have won if he'd been the Democratic Party candidate! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5688 I'm unmoved. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5689 I thought you brought the marshmellows. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5690 Where should w e go for dinner? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5691 No one said, it would come to this, in order to make America great again. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5692 This nuclear option business is getting out of hand. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5693 I love Bertolucci too! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5694 I still think we should capitalize on physical assets 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5695 I would, but the selfie stick didn’t make it. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5696 We should've gotten house insurance. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5697 You dropped a bomb on me. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5698 Are you feeling better now? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5699 Don't worry, our new president has called lesser things disasters. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5700 Scorched earth? I didn't think you had it in you, Marsha 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5701 I guess you used too much spice in that guacamole mix. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5702 I was just thinking about dinner with your mother... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5703 Now, what do we do? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5704 Ok - so maybe I should have checked closer into what he meant by "Make America Great Again." 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5705 I know things you don't know. I'll tell you Tuesday or Wednesday. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5706 Greatness starts with a teardown. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5707 I though you said the gas line was fixed 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5708 Be patient, making greatness takes time 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5709 I'm fine. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5710 This is the result of congress having no term limits. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5711 And that's why I already dread when your mother visits... 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5712 Does this mean I'm paying for dessert? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5713 'Let's get a room at Ghost Ship,' you said. 'It'll be fun,' you said. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5714 This is where Trump Tower was located 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5715 Well, that was short but sweet. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5716 What? Everyone said he would rise to the office. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5717 Should I try concierge for dinner reservations? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5718 At least I feel great again. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5719 The last thing I remember was my ex-wife's divorce lawyer threatening to use the "nuclear option." 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5720 My rock. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5721 Damn email server. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5722 Did you remember to set the alarm? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5723 Let's get these comfy seats for our new den. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5724 I knew this wouldn't end well! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5725 OK, maybe now print is dead. 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
5726 At least we protected our marriage voting Trump. And at least men rule the roost again. It was worth it." "I voted for Hillary. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5727 Let's go out and eat tonight--my place is a wreck also. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5728 No more art deco that calls for dining by candlelight. 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
5729 Well you got your way, Paul, but it looks like Atlas did a little more than shrug. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5730 Well, that didn't go very well dear, shall we try again? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5731 I warned you about trading options. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5732 Sorry, not covered by your vandalism clause. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5733 War is never civil. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5734 I know it's just our first date but would it be ok to kiss you on your apocalips? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5735 Next time, I'll drive. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5736 You're the luckiest man in the world by default. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5737 I said, "Let's move to Queens." You said, "No, let's stay in Brooklyn." 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5738 But emails! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5739 Here is no here here. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5740 No, no! I said GREAT again! GREAT again! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5741 Honey, let's get takeout next time. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5742 This happens when you love like you don’t need money, dance like you’ve never been hurt, and work like no one’s watching. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5743 do you mind if we skip dessert? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5744 I don't think wearing a dress will make him get here any quicker, Estragon 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5745 It’s time for some game theory. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5746 Good thing you moved here now, it's so much nicer than it used to be. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5747 ...And that's all I had to say about that. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5748 So, did you hear the news about the end of the world? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5749 I told you to vote for Hillary! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5750 No, Emily, this doesn't mean we're going to cancel this year's Super Bowl party. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5751 But 'Adventure Vacations' has such a good reputation. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5752 Not even though you're the last man on earth. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5753 I guess we sent those invitations out a bit too soon. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5754 Things are looking up since November 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5755 I guess we'll now wait until hell freezes over. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5756 Yes, Martha, you were right. Armageddon insurance was actually not 'outrageous.' 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5757 Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5758 So, I suppose you had a 'better' idea. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5759 You used to make me feel like the only girl in the world." "You are." "Would it kill you to say it sometimes? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5760 I told you this would happen. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5761 I really don't think crumbs matter at this point. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5762 Oh, I wouldn't call it apocalyptic. Your deductible is still 1%. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5763 YOU wanted us to vote for Trump! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5764 Oops, I guess I should've called a plumber. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5765 Isn't this a sign we should stay together? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5766 Name's Adam. Nice to meet you Eve. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5767 I forgot to use the toilet. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5768 Tastes great." "Less filling. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5769 Are you still going on about the park converting to a war zone? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5770 Next time, please tell me your mother is coming over. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5771 I'm not sure Light-a-Match.com is the right dating site for me. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5772 Relax Hon, No we don't have to face all that downsizing, 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5773 Are you sure the recipe was for tournedos, Dear? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5774 Charles Dickens had it wrong. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5775 I voted for Jill Stein. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5776 So, Ms. Smarty Pants, still think it was a good idea to get Beavis that chemistry set? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5777 We need to work together to make the world a better place 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5778 But these ARE the Good Old Days.... 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5779 I had three kids. How 'bout you? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5780 I don't care if you had a coupon, this ain't no Machu Picchu. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5781 Okay, I’ll admit it, it is the end of the world, but I still say she was too weak a candidate to earn my vote. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5782 What will it take to convince you DEMOLITION IS AN ART! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5783 I told you we should have stayed at the Hilton. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5784 But I didn't vote for Trump. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5785 …..But no impact on our social life. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5786 All I did to become the last man on Earth and still no date? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5787 Some people might say at least we have eachother 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5788 Make America Great Again. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5789 I'm the boss. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5790 That's the last time I let YOU light the stove. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5791 If I knew Babylon would fall, I never would have quit smoking. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5792 I swear this place had 5 stars on yelp... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5793 Coffee? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5794 I don't care if you had a Groupon. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5795 So, tell me about your first marriage. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5796 Well...It was YOUR idea to visit a offbeat and desolate place.... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5797 Apparently Alexa has a different take on love bombs. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5798 It's a start. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5799 Well, as very well know, I didn't vote for him 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5800 I should have listened to you when you said you smelled gas. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5801 Yankees or Mets? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5802 This gives new meaning to "all clear." 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5803 Married 35 years! What a blast! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5804 Well, yes. I AM tired of so much winning. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5805 you're positive you asked for a bug bomb? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5806 Looks like we've got lots of free time. What do you want to talk about? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5807 Let's go over this again. I asked you to unplug my cell phone before leaving the house, and then...? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5808 So, you still won't tell me who she is? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5809 Happy Valentine's Day! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5810 and you thought your vote didn't count ?!?!?! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5811 Are you convinced yet that my gas is more potent than yours? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5812 Are you satisfied now? I told you we shouldn't have moved to Chicago! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5813 Yes it is a catastrophe. But Trump promised he would replace it with something better. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5814 Do you know why I called you here? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5815 It wasn't FAKE NEW-KS 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5816 Okay Judith, you voted for "Making America Great Again, now are you satisfied? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5817 I know, you said this would happen. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5818 See, I told you this place was the bomb! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5819 "War of the Roses"......the movie was funnier 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5820 The waiting time to get into Trump Bunkers is about four years. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5821 If you were the only girl in the World... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5822 So Motely Crue's final concert; did you enjoy it? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5823 You were supposed to type F1 ALT H. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5824 So, maybe I shouldn't have voted for Trump. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5825 I told you this wasn't a good place to vacation. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5826 Hold on! I said it may have been ISIS not YOU sis. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5827 At least, I won't have to cut the grass. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5828 That date didn't go as well as we planned. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5829 Give Trump ANOTHER chance? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5830 I feel fine. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5831 It would have been worse if Clinton had won. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5832 I TOLD you this neighborhood was iffy. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5833 Oh, damn, I forgot my smartphone on the dresser. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5834 I'm so glad me met on Catastrophe Dating.com 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5835 Bernie or Bust?! Bernie or Bust?! Goddamnit Rose. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5836 Did we opt for the Armageddon add-on 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5837 Have you changed your mind yet? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5838 You have to admit that was one big bang!! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5839 You have to break some eggs to make omelets great again. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5840 You want me to reconsider ? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5841 It's all talk, honey. It's the Art of the Deal. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5842 I told you it was a bombshell. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5843 Your bench or mine? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5844 So this is what it's like to be in the stone age, Fred. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5845 Thank goodness for www.post-apocalypse.com, right? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5846 It's okay. We can still re-populate the planet. I am a cross-dresser too! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5847 OK, OK, Already. Yes, I'll let DIY Fracking RIP 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5848 What do you mean—manspreading? 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
5849 You once told not even if I was the last man on earth you would not date me. Well do you still feel that way? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5850 I thought I said ruins, not ruined. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5851 O.K., O.K., don't go all Hillary on me. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5852 Do you think the tourist company will take a collect call? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5853 I told you it wouldn't work 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5854 Admit it, you secretly voted for Trump. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5855 B3. Miss. A8. Hit. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5856 I think you should have offered a trigger warning before you spoke. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5857 Extreme housecleaning. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5858 Should we go out for dinner? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5859 Make America Great Again. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5860 Flip or flop? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5861 If that bus still has not come in the next minute or two, I shall file a former complaint! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5862 I forgot to put the trash out. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5863 Cheer up they are bringing lunch and portable toilets. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5864 I told you he wouldn't just grab you by the crotch! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5865 I voted for the lesser of two evils. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5866 I'm done with your quest for local color. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5867 I get it, Diane. You blame me for giving him the Frosted Flakes. But, the science is against you... there is no proven link between sugar and hyperactivity. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5868 "Should we eat in tonight" ? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5869 On the flip side, now I'm glad I didn't drink 6-8 glasses of water a day--who knows where the nearest restroom is? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5870 Don't feel bad, dear. Gary Johnson didn't know any better either. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5871 Have you decided where you want to eat yet? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5872 I guess I should have passed on that chili. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5873 I'm changing that 'Not' to, 'Only'—if I were the last man on earth. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5874 2016 could have been worse. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5875 So, how long have you been a secretary? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5876 Boy Trump really looks like he will be transformational. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5877 Fine, we'll switch from Android to Apple. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5878 Should we make America great again? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5879 Only that hell has arrived and climate change is on its way. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5880 So how long have you lived in Aleppo? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5881 We wouldn't be here right now if you didn't cook dinner. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5882 I no longer have cabin fever. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5883 It's a new open-office concept 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5884 And I say this would just as well have happened if Hillary had won. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5885 You said you wanted to give our marriage a fresh start. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5886 There's nothing 'post' about this Apocalypse. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5887 Well, you voted for him too 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5888 I always knew a Trump presidency would mean destruction on the horizon. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5889 I'm just glad we still have TrumpCare. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5890 And I say the den with big screen here, and no knitting room. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5891 Well, now that we've destroyed our assets, is it time to call off the divorce? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5892 The bloody stupid cartoonist has run out of ideas! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5893 Why are you mad at me? The travel brochure said that Aleppo was the perfect vacation destination. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5894 And when the ad said "rustic" you didn't think you should call and find out what they meant? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5895 Just think of it as a Sci-Fi film that doesn't end. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5896 Well how was i to know they'd find oil 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5897 I told you that your mother would never live under our roof. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5898 Your mother's still coming to visit? Where will she sleep? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5899 Now will you go on that date with me? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5900 "Now will you agree to the divorce?" (Note to editor: "Now" should be in italics.) 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5901 So........Can you Trump that? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5902 Nice one Eve; he says just take a bite out of the Big Apple. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5903 Honey, did you forget to turn off the stove? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5904 So you'd still swipe left? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5905 Just bring your contractor and your imagination. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5906 Things are finally looking up for me 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5907 See, I told you the Trump presidency would turn out just fine. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5908 No, YOU blinked! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5909 I just knew we shouldn't have elected Trump. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5910 Do you think we should still get divorced? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5911 "Even after all that, we're still together"! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5912 How many times do I need to remind you to turn the oven off? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5913 The last thing he said was, Hitler ain't got nothing on me! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5914 So…I just want to say sorry for questioning you. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5915 Do you want dessert? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5916 Martha, why should I smile? This is not a cartoon we're in. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5917 Did you forget to pay the rent? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5918 I did NOT vote for this! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5919 I think I had the date set wrong on our time travel machine. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5920 I thought your 'go ballistic' was just a throw away comment. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5921 Things have changed since Trump took over the White House. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5922 There goes the kids inheritance 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5923 Impressive presentation, but we still need references. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5924 Hmmph! So do you still maintain that "Syria would be lovely for a vacation this time of the year??" 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5925 I worked for an app that took a picture of your food and gave you tips on how to make it more photogenic. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5926 Think reset. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5927 When buying adjacent to a missile range, we clearly ignored the 'location, location, location' maxim. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5928 Did I check the stove? Why do you ask? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5929 On the bright side, our did get a cut in our tax rates. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5930 I still believe that Trump will make America great again! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5931 We should thank Bashar al-Assad for reclaiming our country back for us. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5932 I don't think that this new high fiber diet that you have me on is agreeing so well with my intestines. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5933 What about dead air? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5934 What do you mean, "downsize?" 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5935 Vladimir, is this the new political American revolution I voted for? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5936 I told you this would happen if you voted for him. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5937 And so it's true...only cockroaches can survive. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5938 Only we survived, now what 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5939 Does Aleppo have wifi? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5940 Did you consider separate bedrooms? 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
5941 I invested our life savings in this Trump timeshare. If we live it'll be a heckuva story for the grandkids someday. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5942 I told you making love at our age was a bad idea. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5943 If you're going to have a big red button with a sign that says "Do Not Press," you've got to expect something like this to happen. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5944 WILL YOUR MOTHER TAKE US IN UNTIL THIS BLOWS OVER 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5945 What's for supper sweetie? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5946 Bomb making on You Tube is not what I meant by getting an interesting hobby 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5947 I was always against letting them shoot that movie in our town. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5948 But I thought you liked this sport coat. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5949 I thought it was a pretty classy apocalypse. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5950 First, last and security, but don't expect it be on the market for long. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5951 You just don't seem to understand how damaging your words can be. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5952 We'll be at the front end of the gentrification wave! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5953 It was the only way I could get to be alone with you. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5954 I simply cannot drink coffee without cream and real maple syrup. How about you? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5955 Well, if tragedy isn't going to bring us closer together I guess we'll have to try anal. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5956 Well you voted for that 3rd party guy! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5957 Well, we did it. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5958 I told you Emma... even if it takes till Doomsday. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5959 I don't care about what "everyone else says"....... 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5960 I told you to turn off the stove 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5961 So Eve, What-a-you-say we get busy. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5962 But we'll never know, because cows don't live that long 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5963 Give the "temperament" thing a rest, already! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5964 Well, I certainly didn't do it! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5965 So much depends upon mettle. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5966 And yet, I feel somewhat offended that those hipster zombies totally ignored us. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5967 Well, that happened. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5968 Next time you bounce an idea off me -- make sure your fuse isn't lit. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5969 Let's just hope they didn't get Uber and AirBnB. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5970 Post-election debrief 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5971 There once was a chef named Jacques, He was the best of his stock, When he blew up the town, He still hung around, And set with his wife on a block. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5972 Think of this as our new start. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5973 Finally, some face-to-face interaction. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5974 In retrospect, I voted for the wrong candidate. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5975 Trump Air is sad. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5976 So, now you want to start a family? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5977 Methinks that flash was the light at the end of the tunnel. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5978 Well... He did promis he'd drain the swamp. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5979 Have you considered a career in nation building? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5980 Wishing for an empty nest gone awry. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5981 . . .and what new celebrity chef recipe were you trying this time? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5982 Let's begin by starting over. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5983 Every marriage should include a mutually assured destruction clause. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5984 Trump. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5985 This is not what the judge meant by "split your assets." 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5986 The good news is we won't have so many restaurant choices on Saturday night. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5987 Now, what do we do? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5988 So you voted for him and I voted for her, I think we lost. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5989 No, it was supposed to be the green and the yellow. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5990 Can't you just relax and enjoy the repeal phase without wondering when the replace phase will begin? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5991 Well Dear I think it just has to go like this Before he can Make America Great Again? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5992 You said you wanted a whirlwind romance, honey! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5993 !That was some gale, Gail? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5994 I told you to stay out of the kitchen! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5995 We're nothing alike, that dating web site was a waste of money. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5996 At least we have these perfect sitting rocks. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5997 So sorry. I never learned how to play the fiddle 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5998 So - what should we have for dinner? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5999 This is not what I thought "a quiet vacation with no crowds" meant. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6000 Well, to be perfectly honest, I'm not all that disheartened. We can always take another shot at détente. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6001 Great again from where? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6002 The classified said I could get in on the ground floor. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6003 I'm sure he had a very good reason for launching those missiles. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6004 I only asked you to do a little hoovering... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6005 Did you smell something unusual? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6006 The guy on the internet said it would just be a small pop. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6007 "Don't worry. Trump is going to make America great again. Believe me! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6008 Are you waiting for the Go-Dot bus too? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6009 Tax returns! Tax returns! Don't you have anything else to say?! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6010 "Better late than never" ain't always true. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6011 You were saying about the need to get to work on time? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6012 This war on coal is getting out of hand. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6013 How many times do I have to remind you to put the seat down? 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6014 But at least we have each other, Joan. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6015 That's how you make America great again. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6016 And for this you expect a PhD? 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6017 This is what you get when you focus too much on what I am doing, rather than the stove. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6018 ??Downtown?? 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6019 I don't like carpooling the kids either, but hoverboards aren't the answer. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6020 On the bright side, we're not worried about identity politics anymore. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6021 That's not what I meant... 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6022 Are you ready? We have a lot of work to do. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6023 There has to be a bright side to this! 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6024 This time it IS the end of the world. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6025 Any preconditions before we enter into negotiations? 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6026 When that one guy you don't know very well begins to ramble on about politics and you're too polite to ask him to stop. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6027 She lost;he won. And now we have to live our lives as best we can, Helen. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6028 Great 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6029 Well now it's just us... 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
6030 Like Mom always said, "Look like a bomb went off in here." 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6031 Looks like more than cockroaches can survive nuclear fallout! 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
6032 Nothing funny about this. 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
6033 ...And that's all I had to say about that. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6034 You're the one who wanted me to apply to be Secretary for Housing and Urban Development. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6035 I know damn well what Aleppo is. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6036 So what did you do for your holidays? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6037 Your get out the vote effort was laughable tbh. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6038 For the zillionth time I'm telling you I'm sorry I left the stove on, so please get off my ash about it. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6039 Is it too late to turn this in? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6040 Now look! 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
6041 The package says it'll grow back in 4 to 8 years. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6042 Our first date at the Hard Rock Cafe 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6043 OK, you're right, joining that Aleppo startup was not my best decision. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6044 I really though our vote wouldn't count. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6045 More like alt-WRONG, amirite? HAHAHAHAHAHA, phew. Feels good to be able to laugh about it. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6046 I think you've taken this konmari thing a bit too far. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6047 So where do we go from here Boss? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6048 Actually, 'apocalypse' means uncovering of knowledge. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6049 Thank goodness we took the Virgin Galactic flight and missed all this earthly excitement! 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
6050 It’s all your fault, Robert. I told you not to vote for Trump. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6051 Let's stop fighting 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6052 I loved you in the times of cholera too 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
6053 Moved to Canada." "Joined a militia. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6054 They hacked Waze. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6055 Life's tough on the Prairie 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6056 I told you not to to put the oven on high! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6057 You were on fire until now. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6058 Maybe Pat Benatar was right. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6059 I told you just burn your bridges behind you, but this is ridiculous. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
6060 I always liked The Bible story of Job until now 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
6061 Wanna play wall ball? 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
6062 "Make America great again" he says. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6063 I guess this isn't what you meant by open concept... 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6064 But he promised to make America great again. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6065 Well, at least HRC isn't president 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6066 I just love you Olga! Never mind it went this way. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6067 Fine, but doesn't mean I have to like it 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6068 Like a good neighbor, State Farm was there? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6069 Should we try again? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6070 At least we're great again. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6071 I admit that you're right, but he also promised that the replacement would be here immediately. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6072 It's your mother's fault. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6073 Now you have the open concept home you've always wanted. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6074 Henry, is there something you want to tell me? What did you do now? When I said I wanted to renovate the kitchen and you said I'll take care of it... 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6075 Well, at least we've made our point clear. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6076 But honey, you always tell me you hate cookie-cutter suburbs. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6077 I wish he had taken the intelligence report more seriously. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6078 But those emails... 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6079 Yes, this is the exact location of our polling place.... 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6080 How many times have I told you that the chili and onion pie at the diner is not a good choiced? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6081 Funny how life inmates our marriage. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6082 Don't you think you over-reacted to my reference to President Trump? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6083 I know gas is more energy efficient, but enough is enough. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6084 Even after he admitted to destroying the house and knowing their home insurance would not cover it, her husband still couldn't understand why she was angry with him. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6085 Do you know the bible story about Adam and Eve? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6086 See? I was right. The latest Wikileaks bombshell DIDN'T leave no stone unturned. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6087 I don't remember where we put the umbrella! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6088 Should have bought pedal cars. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6089 you call this a vacation! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6090 Since we disguised ourselves as roaches to survive that blast, now what? 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6091 Are you finished with your tantrum yet? I'd like to discuss this like adults! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6092 Do you like the 'smell of napalm' now? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6093 Please help. I don't like it when I go nuclear. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6094 I am glad we spent more for the fire portection undergarments. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6095 Fine, have it your way. Fire! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6096 At least we don't need to build a wall anymore. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6097 You're really that angry with me? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6098 We've been Trumped! 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6099 It was great while it lasted! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6100 Thanks for coming in for the interview. Where do you see yourself in five years after this Apocalypse? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6101 Your relationship imagery is sunnier than mine. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6102 So, this is a caucus? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6103 Life is like a box of chocolates...... 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6104 Still won't marry me? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6105 For the last time, this has nothing to do with President Trump. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6106 Our spark quickly exploded into flames. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6107 Well..so you are the last man left on earth, and I believe in keeping my word 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6108 I always like a latte after a tornedo. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6109 The after Trump 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6110 You have never supported me. You want me to stop working on my replacement for gasoline when I'm this close to solving the premature combustion problem? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6111 I thought you were bringing it. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6112 I can row half the time 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6113 ...and where's that insurance agent? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6114 "Time for divorce mediation, don't you think"? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6115 Don't tell me you voted for Trump. 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6116 Those whirl-wind romances always end up being train-wrecks. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6117 We were thinking of building the Private Ryan Museum here. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6118 We used to live in such a materialistic society, this could actually end up being a positive? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6119 Who would have thought setting the toaster on extra dark would result in such excessive damage. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6120 We must have a doorman. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6121 what'd I say? 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6122 The good part is that all the county land records were destroyed. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6123 Don't worry. By tomorrow there will be a Presidential fly-over and everything will be great. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6124 I wouldn't go out with you if the world was ending. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6125 When the silent treat goes nuclear.... 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6126 All you do is nag, nag, nag. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6127 C'est la vie 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6128 I told you not to vote for a third-party candidate. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6129 It won't help. You know it won't help. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6130 Do not tell me you didn't bring an apple! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6131 You should have saved more money as a child. 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6132 what are your feelings about assisted living? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6133 Did you pack the crackers? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6134 So you booked the Middle East Mystery Tour. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6135 And this they call a Continuing Care Retirement Community. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6136 We did get a big beautiful wall. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6137 This? Replacement? Frankly, I was hoping for single payer. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6138 Do you think our cleaning person will charge us extra? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6139 He didn't say making America great would be without a few stumbling blocks. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6140 I know I promised you the Moon, but you know I wanted Mars. 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6141 Now will you answer my question, "did you vote for him or not?" 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6142 There is no wind blowing today . 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6143 Dating is hell. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6144 Did you remember to pack my lunch? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6145 What do you mean this isn't great? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6146 Wake me up in four years. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6147 'I guess you could have a bigger kitchen now' 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6148 I don't think he'd really do it. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6149 Do you notice anything different? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6150 ...we should have voted Democrat .... 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6151 Well, he did say "your children who follow you in later generations and foreigners who come from distant lands will see the calamities that have fallen on the land and the diseases with which the Lord has afflicted it." So idk I guess we're fucked. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6152 You look nothing like Jake Gyllenhaal. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6153 So much for taking that Western Civilization course. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6154 Is it just me or is this city all burned out? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6155 We should compromise a tad on our divorce terms. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6156 Unfortunately, we're contractually obligated to stay until something funny happens. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6157 For the last time! I DIDN'T want the wall either! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6158 Now what would Trump do? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6159 I thought it said "DO push this button". 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6160 This wouldn't have happened if you had used the microwave 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6161 For heavens sake Dorothy; I thought we had an understanding that "The Nuclear Option" meant no more meatloaf. Ever! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6162 Apocalypse, check. Sagittarius, check. Great khakis, checkmate. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6163 The bus will be late again. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6164 No really, a white picket fence. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6165 Take me to your Tweeter! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6166 See! I told you seeing a relationship counselor wouldn't kill you. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6167 When I said 'Feel the Bern' I didn't think you'd take it literally. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6168 I told you polishing the silverware last week was a waste of time. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6169 War isn't all bad. It got us together, didn't it? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6170 How much further to go? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6171 Our phones are tapped, our computer hacked, our movements monitored. This is the only place we can talk! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6172 I was planning on asking you to go to the movies. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6173 Eve, this is what happens when you listen to snakes. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6174 I told you too close the window! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6175 Now, about that date . . . 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6176 Ever notice how time flies? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6177 Every day a shattered dream. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6178 It seems we chose the wrong option! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6179 Do you remember what you were doing when Trump was elected? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6180 Ops, we missed the bus. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6181 We'll always have Newburgh. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6182 I told you we shouldn't get him that drone for Christmas 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6183 Perhaps we could go see a movie some time? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6184 Nope. Doesn't count. You specifically said WILD HORSES 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6185 So, how's the new house coming along? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6186 Well, it looks like I am on the last man on Earth. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6187 But what about Candy Crush? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6188 Never, ever, ever tell me who you voted for. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6189 Well done enough for you now? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6190 I also thought it was interesting the dating website survived. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6191 I told you we needed new batteries for the smoke alarm. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6192 So, tell me, what was your childhood like? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6193 It was worse on November 9th. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6194 I don't wanna hear what the good news are... 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6195 The moment you realize that he is, indeed, the last person on earth. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6196 Stop complaining and count your blessings. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6197 Well, you wouldn't tell me 'how' to do the housework. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6198 The divorce is finale. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6199 Trump really reduced overcrowding. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6200 The important thing is that we built a huuuge wall. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6201 It's six of one, a half dozen of another. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6202 Better safe than sorry. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6203 That was not the date night I had in mind! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6204 You're telling me they used the GPS data for Aleppo PA? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6205 Well, at least we'll have any easier time finding all the Pokemons. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6206 Honey, you were there with me when we crashed the car, when I lost my job, and now when we lost our house. Darling, you're bad luck. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6207 I told you it wasn't the flu. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6208 So, about those divorce papers... 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6209 donald will make us great again 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6210 Yes, I got behind in my mail. Sue me! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6211 This should make property settlement easier. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6212 Well, now you're just quibbling. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6213 No wonder that travel agent is out of business 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6214 Who invited him? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6215 that congressional hearing wasn't so bad now was it? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6216 Let's just check out the casino before we make any decisions about going somewhere else. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6217 Mother Nature did not strike our building with a meteor because I voted for Trump. 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6218 I don't think his oath to "...bigly, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States" went over well. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6219 Did we shake on it? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6220 Who agreed to this type of freedom? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6221 It's lovely George; one knee, please. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6222 Here we sit, on January 20th: remind me again what Lincoln said about a house divided against itself? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6223 Perhaps we should have had a short position. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6224 Okay, I agree. That WAS a pretty cheap way to get the house re-done. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6225 we should have booked the earlier reservation 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6226 I told you not to hire 1-SMI-THE-REEN as your divorce attorney. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6227 Sure, it's not that great, but how much can you accomplish when tweets are restricted to 140 characters? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6228 So, where shall we go for dinner? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6229 Have you seen my green argyle socks anywhere? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6230 Oh goody! Can we start re-creating the human race now? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6231 So, how are the grand kids? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6232 He's change agent. What did you expect? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6233 what'd I say? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6234 But emails! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6235 Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get...? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6236 I told you to vote for my candidate. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6237 It has good bones. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6238 Where's Allstate when you need it? Are you in good hands? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6239 It's Hard To Get Good Help 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6240 Where have all the flowers gone? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6241 Wow, that desk was surprisingly resilient. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6242 I guess the argument got a little too heated. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6243 Some stage this world is. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6244 They're calling it the media's WWI...I just heard CNN and FOXNEWS might sign a truce 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6245 All is not lost we still have the Internet 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6246 I'm sorry I voted for Donald Trump, but I do love you hunny. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6247 2030: Let's sue our parents for this. I'll be the judge, you can be the jury. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6248 Sweetie, I already told you the land was a steal. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6249 That was hot! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6250 Maybe we shouldn't have voted for Trump. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6251 There are more important things to worry about than where the D.A.R. can meet. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6252 It's on our itinerary, all right: 'In the afternoon, casually wander the rubble-strewn streets of historic No Man's Land.' 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6253 I never promised you a rose garden post honeymoon. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6254 I would like to tell you something. 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6255 I'm sorry. What did you say? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6256 That's the last time I let you make the dinner. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6257 In this intermediate phase of the "Bombing the Village to Save It", we could use your Humanities teaching experience. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6258 Well, there you have it Ed. Four years of a Trump presidency. Are you surprised? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6259 Back when -did you listen to Hall and Oates? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6260 I guess that wasn't the car seat warmer button either. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6261 Marv, I told you not to each all that chili! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6262 I love the smell of victory in the morning. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6263 I don't think this makes America beautiful again! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6264 You're right, I shouldn't have retweeted it. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6265 Like I said, we don't need any more regulations. If we give it enough time the housing crisis will eventually take care of itself.' 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6266 I told you to order an airbnb. This is clearly an airstrikebnb. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6267 I didn't mean to blow up your spot. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6268 Well, that wasn't that bad. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6269 Gary Johnson said that this was a great vacation spot??? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6270 Frankly, my dear, It is what it is. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6271 Did you remember to mail my Macy's bill? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6272 My lawyer disagreed, but my therapist said it would be better this way. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6273 What can I say, I was really concerned about your emails. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6274 I guess our vacation is on hold. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6275 Let's not and say we did to whatever other species inherits the earth. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6276 It was so your turn to bring the kids into the shelter. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6277 "So, this is what he meant by 'Make America Great Again.' 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6278 So much for celebrating inauguration day. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6279 This virtual reality's gone too far. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6280 I told you not to ask him to stop tweeting. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6281 So then the dragon said, 'Trust me.' 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6282 I TOLD you not to tell Mr. Trump he was wrong. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6283 Watch the budget - don't spend on anything over-rated. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6284 And I had just kashered the cookware. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6285 Canada! This is our chance. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6286 We should have read up on Aleppo 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6287 You let the souffle fall, didn't you? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6288 My new shoes got ruined so I have to wear these old things. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6289 I could have sworn you said pre-apocalyptic. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6290 Well, so much for the 'bromance' with (Raz)Putin. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6291 Mad Max: Way Beyond Thunderdome 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6292 Dating is REALLY hard around here. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6293 I'm sure the Uber car will be hear any minute... 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6294 Ahhhh, peace and quiet. What were you saying before during the air raid? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6295 Well, we can sell your Purple Heart and your Bronze Star to get on a boat to Canada. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6296 I had no choice -- her emails were indefensible. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6297 The good news is we're saved; the bad news is the devil's behind that hill. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6298 One more chance honey, please? We can start over. Right? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6299 Who are we going to vote for now? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6300 This isn't what I had in mind when I said can I have something on the rocks. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6301 I told you that the political system is broken. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6302 So much for make america great again. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6303 We showed too much anger. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6304 I voted to make America great again. Why, who did YOU vote for? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6305 I agree - the final episode of 'Downton Abbey' was facile. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6306 I thought "Aleppo" is Italian for the Alps... 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6307 Would you like my last s'more? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6308 Next time can we just take the regular tour?..... 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6309 I told you we should've been nicer to him, Dianne. San Francisco used to be so beautiful before the air raid. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6310 The Pollyanna I married is gone, too? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6311 I guess they really did cross the red line in the sand! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6312 Why do you think I was angry? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6313 Give it twenty years. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6314 Do you think our favorite Italian restaurant is open for lunch? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6315 No more double espressos. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6316 Who new "great again" meant "great smoking hole?" 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6317 Wow, the comb over really is as bad as they say it is. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6318 Home insurance, What for? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6319 Yes, I am the designated survivor and, no, this is not a comb over, loser. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6320 This new theme park could work either as 1940 Europe or 2020 America. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6321 Well, if you hadn't left the oven on, none of this would have happened. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6322 You sure don't look like your profile picture. Anyway, here's my list of bands you've probably never heard of that you should totally check out. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6323 I think we're out of beer. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6324 I shouldn't have voted for Jill Stein. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6325 Don't worry honey, I put the kids to bed. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6326 Even after 40 years and a civil war, I never forgot about you. I need my spare key back or else I'll lose my security deposit. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6327 Maybe we should have tried online dating. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6328 I told you those "explosive" vacation specials were too good to be true. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6329 Yeah, Twitter. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6330 I thought you said you'd eat less beans. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6331 SO MUCH FOR YOUR HOME COOKING 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6332 We have the best seats to view the new nuclear war, but your nose is in my way. 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6333 That was a pretty bad blow up, I'll sign the papers Monday 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6334 If you had been with her this wouldn't have happened. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6335 So. Are you voting Kanye or Streep? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6336 Vows schmowze...It's the "for worse" part I didn't bargain for. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6337 Would you like a spot of tea? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6338 If "This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper," that was a helluva whimper. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6339 It's not helpful if you don't save and build on the good memories. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6340 Don't blame me; I voted for Harambe. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6341 What's for dinner? I'm hungry... 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6342 This Occupy isn't going very well 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6343 Did you say Poo-tee-weet or Putin's fleet? 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6344 I knew they shouldn't have let Trump have his finger on the button. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6345 Why do I suddenly feel like Ralph Kramden? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6346 You said awards season would make it alright. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6347 I guess this what it was like at tara for Scarlet. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6348 Are the Carells still coming for dinner? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6349 I think I finally completed your "honey do" list. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6350 Obama, Putin, Trump, polices…can we overcome? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6351 Look, the meth was on simmer, I only went outside for a second. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6352 The landowner refused to sell to some golf course developer. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6353 About the dinner party--let's wait. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6354 The Self-Driving Cab will be here in 94 Seconds 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
6355 Next time I get to pick our virtual reality experience. (italicize the "I") 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6356 But wasn't that a party? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6357 I need a beer 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6358 If this were a reality TV show, what would you call it? 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6359 Don't touch my stuff! 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6360 I told you we should not have voted for Trump. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6361 You say you lived where? 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6362 You told me to stop tinkering and create the app for the self-cleaning house. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6363 He did say, you can't just hit the reset button. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6364 Copycat? That's kinda low, Barb. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6365 It was NOT his fault. I was the media! 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6366 Where are we going to have our Oscar party, now? 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6367 Look at the bright side. Detroit has new streetlights! 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6368 We better cancel the movers, they're coming tomorrow morning. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6369 Is this a good time to ask for a raise? 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6370 Don't worry honey, civilization will find a way again. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6371 So now we know how the Syrian refugees feel. We never thought it could happen here! 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6372 The party never got out of control. We had a few beers, told a few jokes. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6373 Well, here we are Diane... moment of truth! 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6374 I think Let's Go Aleppo needs a little updating 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6375 I agree. Having p@assword1 on our nuclear missile arsenal has been a good lesson about the importance of strong passwords. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6376 I swear the travel agent said it was a tour of the Sierras! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6377 So, that 'Hell Hath No Fury' saying really is true. So, that 'Hell Hath No Fury' thing is really true. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6378 Yes, the prices of housing here in Aleppo are quite reasonable. But I would like to keep looking. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6379 I'm pretty sure you took my seat! The crowds to clear out after the Holidays! And, I'm still only getting 2 bars! Do you come here often? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6380 But we're the last two humans on the planet. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6381 Please tell me what happened. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6382 I told you not to watch the inauguration. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6383 Unfortunately, the affordable wildfire insurance act was repealed. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6384 I love my backup camera. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6385 I believe they called it mutual assured destruction. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6386 Looks like we can scrap our vacation plans for this year. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6387 It all moved online. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6388 Now that I'm the last man on earth, whadya say we go find an empty bomb shelter? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6389 Maybe you shouldn't nuke dinner anymore. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6390 What do we do when there's nothing left to save? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6391 We met on this NYC corner three months ago, it looked better back then happy anniversary. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6392 I told you to take up the extra insurance. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6393 The foragers at this restaurant are amazing! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6394 Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn't know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. She is a Hillary flunky who lost big. I could go on. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6395 Is it me, or has everything here been gentrifried? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6396 Yeah but Hilary Now we'll never know what was in those emails! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6397 Ok, Maybe I do use too much hot sauce. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6398 See!?! There's no such thing as free college. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6399 I told you we should have switched to email notifications. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6400 I forgot to lock the door!!! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6401 Sorry I didn't text you, I forgot to pay my cellphone bill. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6402 Relax, demolition is expensive. You gotta think of this whole thing as a jump start on that remodeling upgrade you've been talking about. Once you see it that way, you'll totally agree this was a favor. 1.0714 0.05005 56 54 0 2
6403 I feel like a chili dog. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6404 Oh, "Shikata ga nai", yourself... 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6405 I told you this wasn't just another apocalyptic movie where nearly everyone dies but you leave feeling happy because the beautiful heroine and hero kiss at the end. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6406 Yes, dear, I now know not curbing the garbage is dangerous. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6407 Obamacare got repealed, told you this would happen. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6408 Sorry it's a little overdone 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6409 Well, can you suggest a second option for coffee? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6410 Do you think we should work on writing our wills? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6411 Soo...about the fire safety? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6412 This wouldn't of happened had you not deleted those emails 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6413 Privacy can get costly. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6414 Listen to me, Gale, Trump didn't start WWIII. The Cold War was WWIII, and the Drug War was WWIV. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6415 I guess our dinner plans are off for tonight. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6416 But, I *had* to respond to his tweet... 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6417 His retaliatory drone strike just proves my point. Had our computer survived I'd tweet that at him too. 1.0714 0.05005 56 54 0 2
6418 Another (bleep) BEK cartoon blew through !! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6419 "What dud you say to Alexa? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6420 I would have voted for the Terminator. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6421 So don't give me a ride. You got any idea how much a carpool lane ticket will set you back? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6422 so north korea, huh? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6423 So where's that fruit the bearded guy was telling us about? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6424 Don't worry, Honey--the will's at the top of my bucket list. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6425 And for the last time turn turn the stove OFF when you are not using it!!!!! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6426 So, here we are again alone together. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6427 Aren't you sorry you voted for Trump now? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6428 They're freedom fighters, honey. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6429 Thank God we only have to worry about our Beachfront property now! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6430 You have some kind of problem with the way Spirit is unfolding, Julian? Take it up with Spirit! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6431 The monkeys had absolutely nothing to do with this. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6432 Think we will do take out tonight? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6433 I told you everything wasn't going to be fine after Election Day! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6434 Best presidency ever! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6435 Well Susan, have you decided on what you want to eat yet? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6436 I told you that broken window was a bad sign 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6437 I'll straighten up that closet now. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6438 I thought you turned off the space heater. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6439 Djibouti starts with a D. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6440 But it's not ok, sweetie! I did bring my special anniversary edition inauguration coloring book, but I'm missing a pink pencil for Ivanka's dress! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6441 Look, I heard it was a HOT zone, but I thought that meant "happening" 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6442 Are you also waiting for the illegal settlements to be allowed again? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6443 Trust your decorator, I think you need a facelift too! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6444 Did the words 'Let's blow this Kool-Aid stand.' not come out of YOUR mouth? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6445 'When the cats are away the mice will play' just doesn't do it. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6446 Did Trump really okay this? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6447 And what did you ask Santa for? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6448 Is this our personal 9/11? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6449 Well, so much for West-Coast elitism, but it still beats Sheboygan. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6450 A scorched earth policy may now be a strategy, Ms. Pelosi, but at least don't implement it in your own back yard. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6451 You said he'd be bolder; not that we'd be set on a boulder. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6452 If your mother said that about me, I may not talk to her anymore. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6453 Well, you are the last person on earth I thought I'd be meeting under circumstances like this! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6454 Yes, press conferences are infrequent, but look at it this way: Our new post-apocalyptic landscape provides a great opportunity to start using quill pens again. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6455 It was an inadequate warning label but, sadly, there's no one left to sue. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6456 At least, we have a conversation set left. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6457 And exactly why didn't you ask what our realtor meant when he said the new place would be "the bomb"? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6458 Sick joke? No, .it's really happening. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6459 The little birds in the trees are my only critics...too-lool, too-leel! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6460 For your information, I don't blame trump. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6461 When all those heated arguments finally exploded out of control, they still disagreed on whose fault it was 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6462 Let's make fun of people who've lost everything in a disaster. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6463 I get to claim it's dystopian because my mouth is open 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6464 What do we do about the take-no-prisoners portion of our scorched earth argument? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6465 Dystopian is OK, but I miss your Hygge obsession. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6466 Honey, let me explain...they told me that once they repealed, they would be back to replace it with something much less expensive & FAR BETTER! And you believed them? The exclamation point is VERY convincing! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6467 Jerry I thought I told you not to push the red button.." Jerry replies " But I saw a spider on it! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6468 How's it going here, at the Trump Dump? I'm still with her. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6469 OK ... what did you tell mother? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6470 Now that we've taken care of the other 533 members of Congress, ready to vote? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6471 Sweetheart, this is like a baseball game with one more strike before I'm out. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6472 Viola! A Florida room. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6473 Since we seem to be between a rock and a hard place, sorry are, how about a little, rock paper scissors? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6474 Is there free Wi-Fi on your flight? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6475 What's made by the mind of man can be unmade by the mind of man! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6476 Well, we won't have a nuclear waste disposal problem 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6477 Whew; they're all gone. Much, much better. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6478 The prices on Warbnb are much more competitive. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6479 Well you broke my glasses. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6480 I told you this house has been falling apart for years. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6481 So I guess they really didn't want the wall." "Ya think?! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6482 Owl be back. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6483 blah, blah, Trump ... blah, blah, Beelzebub. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6484 This is because you insisted I vote for him ! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6485 What? At least the white working class is no longer being ignored! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6486 Do you think therapy would help resolve our differences? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6487 For dinner, I recommend The Smokehouse. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6488 Slick work with the nuclear codes, Mrs. DeVos. Our new charter will be raking in cash--I mean, little darlings--before you know it. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6489 I told you it wasn't me or the dog! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6490 My core values have undergone a rather dramatic change. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6491 Well, at least I got the garbage out. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6492 No, not Prufrock, some other TS Eliot poem… 1.0714 0.05005 56 54 0 2
6493 I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6494 I don't care if she does go nuclear - garlic breadsticks is not too much to ask with Pomodoro sauce. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6495 Nevertheless, I like this quaint place. The Superbowl is approaching, and I want to be far from the Madden crowd. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6496 When you said we'd get at upgrade for the hotel, I didn't realize it would be for a completely different hotel. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6497 I'm very sorry to hear that your divorce lawyer was obliterated. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6498 Well, that was fun. Shall we continue on to the next fragile nation? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6499 I'm going to go on with my life. Somewhere else. On my own. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6500 Next year we're going to the Bahamas 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6501 What's next, Tokyo? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6502 This new VR system needs some work. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6503 You must be distraught seeing your rent-controlled apartment blown up like this. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6504 The studio backlot is razed. Meryl's speech must have rancored. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6505 I warned you that if he were elected we'd get nuked before the end of his term as preident 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6506 President Trump insulted North Korea one too many times via Twitter. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6507 Now we know why this tour was so discounted. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6508 You have to this seriously, but not literally. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6509 Your mother an stay with us now. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6510 Uber Pool or Express? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6511 Alfred, I don't think this is going to work...you look very different from your picture...and long walks on the beach is totally out. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6512 I heard their going to Ban... Fracking 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6513 And the second phase of annihilation; Zombies. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6514 That's the last time we let Junior work on his air purifier invention for "Shark Tank" at home! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6515 But Trump said global warming was a hoax. 1.0714 0.05005 56 54 0 2
6516 I told you it was a bad idea to vote for Trump 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6517 I think the bell tolls for thee. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6518 Now we don't have the family photos. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6519 My Trump vote did pose some foreign policy risks. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6520 I thought it was a Hatchimal. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6521 "Finally we can get some peace and quiet".7 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6522 Well Ethel, it's just about time for a cup of tea now, don't you think? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6523 Happy Anniversary honey. You know, Hiroshima is the Paris of nuclear bomb sites. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6524 Vacation Package 1.0714 0.05005 56 54 0 2
6525 Do you think Jared will let us come over for pate? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6526 Didn't we fight a good war for something? Now we have nothing. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6527 Now I understand why my grandparents always visited us. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6528 Yah, well I never liked your casserole anyways! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6529 I'm telling you I'm not waiting here any longer. Uber is simply not going to find us. Its been 20 years 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6530 I wanted to see if you were lying in your wedding vows. You weren't. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6531 See what happens when you voted for Trump? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6532 Next time, let's not hire the "Bombs Away Decluttering Team." 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6533 How was I to know the real estate market was red hot because of a forest fire? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6534 Yup, I think they've just about got it figured out. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6535 Lets be patient. The Uber driver and his GPS couldn't agree on where to pick us up. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6536 Now how do we get back to Miami? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6537 Does this cost extra ? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6538 You know, Lester. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: just because you see the chili doesn't mean you eat the chili. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6539 What's your excuse? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6540 For the last time, I have coffee and tea...no margaritas. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6541 You didn't vote for Trump, did you? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6542 I once was a journalist in America, and this is how it ended. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6543 So what was your reasoning for not voting for Hillary? (I know, too obvious...) 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6544 Oh, so that's what you mean by swing state. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6545 See, I told you. If we had remodeled the kitchen recently before the nuclear exchange, it would have been a waste. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6546 I don't care if there is global warming, we are NOT getting an air-conditioner 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6547 I told you our bomb-shelter would pay off. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6548 i don't think this is what I meant by " being in the hot seat" 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6549 All I knew is that this Syria was a hot spot right now. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6550 Not to worry, you'll be a fine First Lady after Melania. 1.0714 0.05005 56 54 0 2
6551 This is all because of your clumsiness! How did frying an egg lead to the destruction of our own house! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6552 I told you this would happen with a Republican controlled Congress. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6553 I told you not to switch parties. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6554 OK, so you tried cleaning my smartphone in the dishwasher. I hope you're happy. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6555 Well, Ms. Smug, you must admit Trump did shake things up. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6556 His second tweet about it poked fun, but his fourth tweet really told them who's boss. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6557 'You misheard me, I said if you were the last man on... smurf' 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6558 Really Henry. A Time Share in Afghanistan! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6559 Granted, I too don't feel any spark. But indulge me, Brad, and let's play a game: think of it as you just being a man, and me just being be a woman. Just until this apocalypse blows over and civilization is reclaimed. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6560 Are you on my side or the GPS's? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6561 Fine. You pick where we go out. Again. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6562 "We're not in Kansas anymore'', you said. "I want to go back to Kansas", you said... 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6563 What do you want to be, when you grow up? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6564 "O.K., so maybe the kids were too young to play with dynamite. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6565 You should have just accepted your mistake John! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6566 I assume you left the stove on again? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6567 This real estate bombs. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6568 Your skylight's done. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6569 o.k. Meryl, maybe you were right. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6570 If only they had the coordinates to your unrelenting disappointment in me. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6571 Now you know what critical mass means. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6572 I only plan to wear it the next four years. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6573 I guess McGuire was right, we were "On the Eve of Destruction". 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
6574 Marriage vows are anachronistic. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6575 No, I don't need to go see if the swap is actually drained as well. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6576 They say the sulfur is good for you. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6577 Are you saying an "adventure date" is not what you had in mind tonight? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6578 I guess we are not in Kansas anymore. 1.0702 0.04233 57 54 2 1
6579 Ok, you brought me here to see a visual metaphor of our relationship ... can you give me a little more to go on? 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6580 Do you smell something funny? 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6581 I can't believe you let the burner on. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6582 It's my first Tender date too. 1.0702 0.04233 57 54 2 1
6583 At least Podesta's risotto was delicious. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6584 Married? More like martyred. 1.0702 0.04233 57 54 2 1
6585 It thought you left the stove on. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6586 Well, I blame Pat Benatar! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6587 This doesn't take away from those texts I saw. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6588 You say Fukushima, I say Fukushima, let's get married 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6589 I think we're in deep doodoo. 1.0702 0.04233 57 54 2 1
6590 Well, shall we go?" "Yes, let's go. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6591 Girls are willing to do anything to win an argument 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6592 Well maybe it was a bad idea after all to put the clowns in charge. 1.0702 0.04233 57 54 2 1
6593 Next time scissor and rocks.. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6594 It thought you left the stove on. 1.0702 0.04233 57 54 2 1
6595 Hi, I'm Adam, and I bet you're Eve, but this is no garden. 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
6596 That’s nuts. You can’t get a flight to Phoenix from here. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6597 Now do you think it makes financial sense to buy a motorcycle? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6598 Ok, I admit it, I'm ready to revisit MAGA 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6599 I might not have a lot to offer, and it might be more trouble than it's worth, but, y'know, species survival and all - right? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6600 I told that three bean salad can be deadly. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6601 I knew I wasn't listening to her. But I believed she was listening to me. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6602 Don't be so negative. I'm Don't be so negative. He says he has a plan. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6603 Now Lil, you won't need a 5 burner stove without neighbors near. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6604 I preferred it when the CIA said the enemy had WMD's and was wrong over their new policy. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6605 How long do you think Dorothy will be gone this time? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6606 'On the plus side, the thermonuclear blast evaporated all the water in the Potomac - so y'know, he did achieve something he promised!' 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6607 Of course I'm upset with you. You took the box with the cushion. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6608 Hoteliers and haberdashers worship service 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6609 A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6610 Bob had a habit of drawing the short straw. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6611 It is that New Year Celebration again.... 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6612 I voted for Hillary. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6613 Do you think our limo driver got hung up? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6614 hey this is a no wake zone. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6615 Why so much attitude? At least disaster tourism avoids the tragedy of cultural appropriation. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6616 I told you, its Twitter's fault, not Twithead's! 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6617 there is no escape from Trump!!! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6618 As it turns out I'm a confirmed bachelor so you don't have to reconsider. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6619 My fault? Who got me the chain saw for Christmas? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6620 I told you what would happen if you voted for Hillary. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6621 I told you he said the demo would go quickly. Now he says not to worry and it will be finished in two weeks 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6622 We must choose a gated community next time. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6623 You always wanted to move...i'm sold 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6624 Well, the brochure did say all-inclusive. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6625 I told you not to sell the gas pipeline right of way! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6626 I'm guessing this is the 'flop.' 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6627 then I advised Donald , we must rebuke them ! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6628 Blind Date: "Nice view, isn't it?" 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6629 The hat that says Make America Great again come off easy; it was the false hair that surprised me 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6630 Pudding? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6631 You wanted to live in a more exclusive neighborhood. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6632 Sorry Hillary but I will be the only President in the family 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6633 Thank God, at least the election's over. January 20 coming up.... 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6634 Like, you're totally the bomb. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6635 Um, about my online profile, I thought prepper, prepster and preppy were all the same thing. Sorry. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6636 I don't care what the conditions are. Fix me a sandwich. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6637 I thought you told me to add a little vodka to the dough. Too much? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6638 At least we're now GREAT in radioactivity! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6639 So, now that we've blown it all up, now what? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6640 Asma, I think we are winning. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6641 I didn't vote foe him. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6642 I told you Trump and Putin wouldn't last; just like Trump's last two wives. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6643 When I see these symptoms, I always recommend a test for Lyme. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6644 Emails 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6645 what just happened 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6646 So what you're telling me is it's not a great to rent OR buy? 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6647 Know it all! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6648 I warned you to wait 30 minutes after eating before going swimming. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6649 What do you know? I guess those buildings do demolish themselves. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6650 At least I kept my elbows off the table. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6651 But her emails... [Be interesting to see how many thousand submit that.] 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6652 I guess we ARE the ruins now. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6653 Let's resort to plan B 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6654 Trouble in paradise 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6655 I thought they were giving away free tickets to a play, not to the Apocalypse 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6656 We vowed 'For better or for worst' and I can't imagine how anything could be any more worst than this!l 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6657 I'm tired of winning. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6658 Merriam-Webster was right. It's surrealistic. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6659 I don't care what the Kardshisns would do! 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6660 I told you 'Uprising' had nothing to do with a city on the move! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6661 Still not even... 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6662 The good news is no surge price back to the airport! 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6663 Always remember, never hurry never worry. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6664 At the time, I thought Trump was a good idea. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6665 We're finished! Exactly as your ordered. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6666 Challenge accepted!!! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6667 They say smoking 1 cigarette takes 11 minutes off your life, try smoking a whole city! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6668 I've heard the schools are good here. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6669 For the last time, stay in your own lane! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6670 Now that's what trampolines are made for! 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6671 I assumed the end would be ushered in by the stress of nations not the stress of relations. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6672 I guess you're the only candidate for my New Year's resolution to find love. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6673 This is Dental. You'll have to go to Proctology for that exam. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6674 I told you trying to keep up with the Jones would ruin us! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6675 Well, Ashley, he tapped me on the shoulder and whispered that he would blow us to smithereens and I thought it was that used record shop on Maple Drive. I was in a hurry to I nodded. How was your day? 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6676 Sooooo.....I guess there intercontinental missiles can reach us............ 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6677 I like to drone on and on. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6678 No, I said you look devistating-LY. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6679 I guess you were right about the filibuster. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6680 My my, looks like we're the last two humans on earth. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6681 Wasn't that a wicked storm we had last night, Janice? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6682 Don't look at me like that. You wanted an election you were sure was fair. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6683 Sorry, but I really don’t understand what you’re trying to say. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6684 You wanted an explosion, I gave you an explosion. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6685 Look, we only have to go for one drink. Don't make this World War IV. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6686 We've gone to hell in a deplorable basket. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6687 We should stay away from abandoned malls. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6688 I thought you said it was hands-free. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6689 Oh, heart! oh, blood that freezes, blood that burns! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6690 So, this is what you mean by happily-ever-after? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6691 I wasn't that blown away by their prices! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6692 My options are still going up. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6693 Sally, it appears that only one of the enemy has survived. And nothing personal, Sally, but he's simply scrumptious. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6694 Wellchat didn't take long 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6695 This is ground zero. Time to start rebuilding. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6696 "Did". "Did not". "Did". "No you Did". Look, I told you this conversation could trigger the "nuclear" option! "Your fault". "No, it's your impulsiveness ......". 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6697 Our relocating here was a joint decision! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6698 Trumped again! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6699 Happy New Year. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6700 Seeking a nemesis for the end of the world. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6701 Two people just survived from a terrorist attack. They lost all their family, they got nothing. They are looking at each others, getting to meet each other. One year later, they still talk, and become best friends. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6702 I thought we'd agreed to disagree. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6703 Life in Trumpistan 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6704 Ok, ok you were right. It was my vote that killed the world. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6705 No haven't seen any red balloons. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6706 Don't worry, dear, our connection to Rick Perry is still secure. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6707 I hear the movie showing downtown won an Oscar. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6708 Remind me again of taking the situation seriously but not literally. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6709 Wow is this the end of the World. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6710 I don't understand it. We left zines in all the coffee shops about the rave reunion. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6711 I still wouldn't marry you even if you are the last woman on Earth. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6712 If the world ends, maybe I'd consider you. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6713 See. I told you this would happen. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6714 What's Up 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6715 Look, I just wanted to know what you were thinking about making for supper--that's all. No need to scowl. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6716 would you like to fight for the last piece of building? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6717 I think we better be getting back to the office. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6718 Celeste, I told you that Burnout is really a thing these days. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6719 honestly? on balance, it was all worth it for the piss story. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6720 It didn't occur to me the 'hygge' would involved quite so much smoke. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6721 it's the neighborhood of our future, Martha. What's it called? trump Estates. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6722 Did this choice of a vacation deplete my marriage capital account? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6723 Well, you said you wanted to see it all. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6724 Well they did say the rubble was quaint. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6725 Well you wanted to try a new restaurant-but it appears that Trump didn't like it and had it destroyed! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6726 Bye Felicia. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6727 Okay, agreed, no more three boom salad! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6728 Well, honey, it happened... No it didn't! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6729 No, no, no, it's 'stream', 'gently down the stream'! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6730 When your Dad sits you down to explain why burning down your house will not get you his consent to have a boyfriend. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6731 Right now, I wish you got on better with the kids. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6732 Recliners would have given us greater back support 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6733 When will you finally admit that you can't rely on online photos that claim you'll have a spectacular vacation? 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6734 I warned the magazine that our victory celebration could get rough if we won the cartoon contest 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6735 When Baz Luhrmann finds out about this, you'll be glad you were here. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6736 Hillary it might be a good thing Trump won. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6737 This is what happens when you start nagging me women. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6738 We should have gone with the more expensive therapist, but you never take my advice. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6739 Emails 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6740 Overcompensate?! Give the man a break. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6741 I think you're lost. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6742 It's just the two of us. Be fair-how is this not a romantic destination? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6743 It's a pity we can't use the 'Make America Great Again' slogan. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6744 Wellchat didn't take long 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6745 Shall we start from scratch again? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6746 Did you hear what happened to Matt? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6747 "Open space remodel," she said. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6748 Hey, I'm crawlin' here! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6749 Bomb. Bombshell. Whatever. I thought you were critiquing the old movie you were watching. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6750 American Goth. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6751 How does this sound for a new product? Cream of Mushroom Cloud soup. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6752 Why do you get so mad? It's not that messy around here. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6753 This was the original ending for "King of Hearts". 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6754 You couldn't leave well enough alone. No, you had to go push the button. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6755 I'm try to avoid second arrows. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6756 Yeah, sure, I might have ended the world. It'd be nice to hear some encouragement here and there too though. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6757 Come here, ever? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6758 It all began with the spontaneous combustion of a certain orange comb-over. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6759 Didn't you learn anything from bringing that knife to the gun fight? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6760 "I'm sorry. I thought Burning Man would spice up our relationship". 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6761 I said Armageddon -- not Agamemnon -- was a pain in the ass. Agamemnon's an OK dude for God's sake. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6762 To repeal is human...to replace, uh well...any ideas? 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6763 Society is collapsing around us. We should reorganize ourselves. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6764 It just wasn't safe to talk about marriage there, Ethel. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6765 I told you not to hire the intern wearing the Talking Heads tee-shirt. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6766 .. Because Port left - Starboard right 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6767 How do I change my Wi-Fi password? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6768 I still don't know why I was fired from Secretary of State and you from being in charge of the negotiations with Germany. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6769 Jazz?" "Christian Rock 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6770 "You know what I'm sayin'? Me, for example. I couldn't work in some stuffy little office. ... The outdoors just calls to me." (Thanks to Gary Larson) 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6771 This is what happens when you start nagging me women. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6772 Great again or grade again? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6773 All I said was "that's the guy Joe pointed out with the Briefcase", who knew ? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6774 I told you watching that Doomsday Preppers marathon wasn't a waste of time 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6775 I have to be honest, I've never heard of house jacking until today. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6776 I thought it was "until dearth do we part." 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6777 As I said in my ad, I like to be existent among change. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6778 Once the "Wheel of Fortune" got cancelled, nothing else seemed to matter. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6779 Did you remember to bring the honeymoon Mad Libs? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6780 Your idea of the total immersion Trump experience is not my idea of fun. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6781 I'm certain our pre-nuptial agreement apportions the insurance proceeds. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6782 "But our therapist said we're supposed to be open about who we really are". 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6783 Whoomp, there it is. There it is, Martha. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6784 THIS IS WHERE YOU WANT TO BE BURRIED??? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6785 Looks like the perfect time for a job change. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6786 Great again! How sweet it is. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6787 He said, "Hope and Change" and this is what we got. Now he is gone and forgotten. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6788 Disinterest among the ruins. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6789 Now you really did it! You nuke us all. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6790 Are you sure this was where your house once stood? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6791 When they drained the swamp, I think they went a little bit overboard. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6792 Oh, for Pete's sake! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6793 Why don't we wait here, in a destroyed town, for a bus to come becuase your car had to break down at this very sight! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6794 Yes, I said born to run! Not far, of course. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6795 Looks like we should get busy. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6796 Honey, what is - Aleppo? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6797 I'm glad I memorized "The Waste Land" in college. "April is the" 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6798 Mary's husband kept trying to explain, "But she had these emails...I, I never believed he'd push the button!" 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6799 See...I told you. Electric stoves are less volatile. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6800 Who brokered this 'last ceasefire' before divorce? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6801 As I told you before, if you were the only other person on earth, I would not talk to you. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6802 Welp, time to get started on Automatic Lawnmower 2.0. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6803 I'm sorry to pull you into my last man on earth fantasy but I've already been through the rest of the department. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6804 ???????! ???, ????????, ???? Mr Trump. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6805 It was your insitance that first Tuesdays be "date night" 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6806 This is fine. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6807 Yes, I still root for civilization 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6808 I share your angst, Eve, in our being drawn here, but sometimes it's the cartoonist's job to remind. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6809 Don't blame me, I voted for Deez Nuts. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6810 He told us "He would make America great again". 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6811 Ok, now explain again, what do you mean the app reads my text messages? 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6812 Well so much for avoiding this when we left Kansas 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6813 MONSTERS- "Not bad after all. There's enough room now for our dream house!" 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6814 Trust me, I'm a professional. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6815 Well, I see your finally succeeded in tearing down the world. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6816 " I told you we shouldn't have gone your mom's house."(male) 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6817 Just say it. My bid on the Hamptons property could have been a tad more aggressive. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6818 I think we should change to "ALL ELECTRIC 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6819 So THAT's A Leppo! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6820 This would look cool in virtual reality. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6821 Maybe it should have been "yes" to moving back in 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6822 The trickle down theory does work. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6823 Unless we stand for something soon, we won’t have a pot to piss in. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6824 Let's switch. You swim. I'll row. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
6825 We have to start meeting like this.. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6826 January 20, 2018 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6827 So what if you predicted that Trump would win? "I told you so" doesn't fix everything. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6828 At least the package came all inclusive. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6829 I told you we should have down-sized! 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6830 "So sorry, I thought it was just going to be a Trumpist in a teapot". 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
6831 I told you he would #MAGA! 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
6832 I guess we should've let the Syrians in 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
6833 Okay, maybe I should have taken him seriously and literally. Note: I envisioned the "and" in italics. 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
6834 "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss." NOT! 1.0545 0.04035 55 53 1 1
6835 So, I guess I really was being duped by Alex Jones. 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
6836 So this is what that "Love, honor or else" wedding vow was all about. 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
6837 Good job podner, now off to file for insurance! 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
6838 Did you forget the, and for worse part of the agreement? 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
6839 They said we should be patient that UN help will come eventually. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6840 This is the bowling Meetup group? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6841 We need take another look our mid-year projections. Why didn't I know about this? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6842 All I do is work, i don't even have time to see the new buildings in the city. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6843 Our marijuana plantation will be much more profitable. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6844 The 'Highlights of World War II' tour was your idea. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6845 Happiness and Love can be found in the horrible places no one could ever imagine. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6846 Was I said was, "I' would like to try to spend a few days in balmy surroundings" 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6847 It looks like Donald Jr. is running late, but shall we get started? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6848 By any chance did you bring your Smartphone? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6849 I heard president Trump had the kitchen staff do a recount on the silver before the Obama,s leave.. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6850 We don't have to compete with the Jones's with the austere look. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6851 We gave up on Democracy. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6852 My idea for a better world have gone up in smoke. 1.0377 0.03774 53 52 0 1
6853 Now I know why this is flyover country. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6854 Woman to man: If you loved me, you would buy me that neckless before the explosion. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6855 Martha, I think it's high time you see someone about that temper or yours! 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6856 All the reviews I read online heaped praise on the outdoor patio. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6857 I told you, "The Hair" said it all. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6858 I warned you Mrs. Johnson, I didn't know what Aleppo was 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6859 It's not for the masses. It's not for the masses. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6860 The weather is crazy lately 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6861 I told them one day it would pay to be homeless. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6862 It was the last of the retail malls 1 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6863 Good news, we are going to cancel overtime for this year's inventory. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6864 Heard a ceasefire will be signed this week allowing us to resume our normal routine. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6865 ..in love And war..in love In war... 1.0377 0.03774 53 52 0 1
6866 I told you not to try to diffuse explosives in the house! 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6867 See, it's not just us that's explosive. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6868 What were you saying about veganism? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6869 This vacation still beats a luxury cruise with your mother along for two weeks. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6870 Jan 19, 2021, Wash., DC: "Hey, you voted for him." 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6871 FOR THE REVERSE CAPTION CONTEST: "I never knew crumbs could be so good" 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6872 Maybe I should try swimming. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6873 When I said, "Let's go on a date to some quiet secluded place," this is not what I meant! 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6874 It's the New Normal, but it gets great over-nights 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6875 Sorry about the scorn. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6876 Let's cut to the chase: how's your financial portfolio? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6877 Anger management counseling? You're blowing up my temper way out of proportion. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6878 When the brochure said burning rubble, I thought we'd be running across hot coals not dodging bombs. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6879 Could you draw upon our former life and cook up something passable for dinner? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6880 The way things were going, this is not like the Fall of the Roman Empire! 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6881 I miss the old Prairie Home. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6882 Trump. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6883 What if I had died in this earthquake? O! I’d have died too. Really? Yea, they say extreme happiness kills.. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6884 Bad things happen, look around," a dates a date, but what do you wearing under that long skirt? 1.0377 0.03774 53 52 0 1
6885 Marital Catharsis 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6886 How did we get to be here? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6887 He's the dog who caught the car. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6888 This used to be a porta potty area. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6889 Do you know that the sea you are lost in, is indeed illusion of a guy lost in a desert when he is about one miles away from you? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6890 This staring contest is just about to get fired up 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6891 This VR environment helps me feel better about real life. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6892 Man: I think we should look at the bright side! Woman: OOOOOH!! 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6893 You see an apple? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6894 We probably should have bing watched it 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6895 This was our beautiful home, and it's just not funny. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6896 OK it's my turn to row 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6897 I don't care what happened at Gettysburg, no more historical reenactments. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6898 Our VR programming team calls this one “Trump: 2020 Vision.” 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6899 I never thought it would be like this. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6900 I did _not_ explode. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6901 You overspent! 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6902 I tried to tell you we shouldn't leave our kids here alone. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6903 Thanks, Trump! 1.0377 0.03774 53 52 0 1
6904 Not so fast - the divorce papers are not finalized yet 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6905 Sure, it's an unusual theme for a diner, but I still say "Eliot's" is weird name for the joint. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6906 It was such a beautiful place before Colin Jost dropped his jokes on it. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6907 Tell me again why you HAD to tell all your family that you wanted to get a divorce. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6908 I promise you, Volupzia and I were only friends. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6909 Ah lay lu yah Michael! Now slow down so I can jump in. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6910 Wow! ...that was a no-brained! 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6911 Honey, it's not as bad as it looks . . . 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6912 Ok if I agree it's not a mirage, will you give me a lift? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6913 We need a hero. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6914 Oh, that's what swing state means. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6915 Who could have imagined 'scorched earth' in Berkeley before the repeal of Obamacare? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6916 Will you be my Party of the Second Part? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6917 My overconfidence has left us without a couch to watch TV on. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6918 Yeah, as a matter of fact I do know where they store pads. In the closet next to maids chamber that's next to the beauty saloon that's next to the kitchen that's next to the stairs to grand ballroom. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6919 Uber or UberPOOL? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6920 "Yes, I admit you had February 1st in the Trump endow the world pool"! 1.0377 0.03774 53 52 0 1
6921 Don't blame me. I didn't vote for him. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6922 You see how much better things are now that we have nucleared the air? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6923 I just feel like he got us into this mess, so he should be the one to fix it. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6924 No, it's my fault. I should have been more specific which heap of burning rubble I meant. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6925 Something tells me our first date didn't bomb out. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6926 Now that wasn't so bad. Where was I? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6927 When is that moving van supposed to show up again? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6928 Why am I stuck with you... Shut up David 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6929 I told you we were safe under the "iron dome" 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6930 But Mrs. Henderson, that's one of the risks of playing the Talking Heads. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6931 "Whatever happened to baby Jane"? 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6932 We can always go back and correct our mistakes. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
6933 I don't know why but have this urge for burnt toast. 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6934 Man, I know the world is destroyed, but the worst part is my NAGGING WIFE! 1.0370 0.03704 54 53 0 1
6935 I guess that's why they call this place Geyser Point. 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6936 "I thought you turned the gas off" So this is your dream vacation? 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6937 I was so in favor of ordeal and displace. 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6938 ...so this is how he makes America grate(grate is underlined) again! 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6939 Remember what Sartre said: 'Existence precedes essence.' 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6940 Can I get your telephone numbr=er Can I get your phone number? 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6941 Do you think traffic will be bad today? 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6942 I am having a bad hair day. 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6943 You hadda go an' say that, di'n'tcha? 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6944 Look, I know I'm not the greatest at cleaning, but using "carpet bombing" as an analogy was too much. 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6945 It's not over until we say it is over. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
6946 What did you HAVE for dinner last night? 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6947 They don't call me the MUSICAL CHAIRman for nothing! 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6948 I just can't think of anything funny to tell you. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6949 Is anyone on the erg next? 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6950 The scorched earth policy of holiday planning. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6951 Nothing belongs to us,except our souls.... 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6952 Now you're all stressed out because you didn't avoid the news, like I told you to. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6953 Not sure this is the prelude to Oz 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6954 Can you direct me to the Beckett filming location? 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6955 I was planning a scorched-earth campaign against Trump, but he beat me to it. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6956 Well, it's no lazy boy but it's the only rock in hard place. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6957 So.... make-up Sec's, Blocks and Lots? 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6958 What was that fell out of the sky! 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6959 So - Where do you wnat me to start? 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6960 They're late, but I still think we're going to be paying surge pricing honey 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6961 I think we can vote again next year. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6962 Hmm. Maybe not so great. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6963 ...2017, they said. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6964 Once I accepted she really wasn't coming home, I decided I needed to meet someone new. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6965 Some tour of Gaza! Where are the dead children? 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6966 Not a soul is left here and myself against your behavior. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6967 Not to worry-it;s just a dumpster fire. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6968 Are you sure you're not a terrorist? 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6969 I just never knew one building would blow up the same day trump was elected.Maybe I just never watch the news enough. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
6970 I shouldn't have sat on the plunger. 1.0192 0.01942 52 51 1 0
6971 The realtor suited me it was an up-and-coming neighborhood 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6972 Did you happen to grab the hot dogs from the fridge before you left the apartment? Just ask'! 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6973 Put that down, its expensive! 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6974 What an ugly wave. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6975 Row hard, the torch is about to go out! 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6976 The Beginning of The Yapp Yapp Stories (Bringing Back Originality) 1.0000 0.01980 51 51 0 0
6977 Our city and everyone we know and love has been destroyed. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6978 I hope you're happy, little mizz " We have to stay within budget." 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6979 Can't a brother bum a ride to the next mirage? 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6980 You see? That's why I do not like to put the washing machine. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6981 Smeller's the feller. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6982 ... because your're looking over my shoulder. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6983 I wish you would get over your Trump Derangement Syndrome. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6984 What can we teach an empty class room? 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6985 I TOLD YOU NOT TO TURN THE GAS BURNER ALL THE WAY TO HIG. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6986 Conversation overheard while observing the peaceful evaluation of Aleppo: "Finally! We going to stop all those illegal settlements!" 1.0000 0.02020 50 50 0 0
6987 A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6988 Didn't I tell you to reserve a table for two? 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6989 Do you believe in love at the first sight of cholera? 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6990 God dammit George, there you go again setting the house on fire. You can never do anything right. 1.0000 0.02020 50 50 0 0
6991 I think God just overreacted to my request last night for a little help with my hoarding problem. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6992 Hi, honey! You know I thought we were done with the civil war 1.0000 0.02020 50 50 0 0
6993 It's still better than those emails. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6994 But he said he liked me. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
6995 Wow, that's a lot of water under your bridge. How did you handle that last hiccup? 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0