Rank |
Caption |
Mean |
Precision |
Total votes |
"Unfunny" votes |
"Somewhat funny" votes |
"Funny" votes |
0 |
I'd like to see other people. |
1.7866 |
0.04621 |
328 |
157 |
84 |
87 |
1 |
I know that look, you're not going to let this go. |
1.7600 |
0.04754 |
300 |
146 |
80 |
74 |
2 |
I'd like to see other people. |
1.7393 |
0.04800 |
280 |
136 |
81 |
63 |
3 |
What a delightful coincidence. I'm also recently single. |
1.7181 |
0.04900 |
259 |
127 |
78 |
54 |
4 |
Maybe his second week will go better. |
1.7148 |
0.05166 |
256 |
134 |
61 |
61 |
5 |
The corrupt media will blow this way out of proportion. |
1.7126 |
0.05144 |
254 |
132 |
63 |
59 |
6 |
I want to start seeing other people... |
1.7126 |
0.05083 |
254 |
130 |
67 |
57 |
7 |
Hopefully the president's second day in office will go a bit smoother. |
1.7115 |
0.05132 |
253 |
131 |
64 |
58 |
8 |
Oh, and I'm gay. |
1.6942 |
0.05161 |
242 |
126 |
64 |
52 |
9 |
I wonder what Donald will do on his second day? |
1.6942 |
0.05195 |
242 |
127 |
62 |
53 |
10 |
I'm gay. |
1.6682 |
0.05704 |
220 |
127 |
39 |
54 |
11 |
I'm not leaving. It's rent-controlled. |
1.6667 |
0.05543 |
219 |
122 |
48 |
49 |
12 |
I want to see other people. |
1.6667 |
0.05443 |
222 |
122 |
52 |
48 |
13 |
You just had to tear off that mattress tag. |
1.6636 |
0.05356 |
217 |
116 |
58 |
43 |
14 |
... and it's only January 21st. |
1.6573 |
0.05607 |
213 |
120 |
46 |
47 |
15 |
On the plus side, Manhattan is affordable now. |
1.6573 |
0.04980 |
213 |
105 |
76 |
32 |
16 |
I'd like to start seeing other people. |
1.6573 |
0.05607 |
213 |
120 |
46 |
47 |
17 |
I'm gay. |
1.6507 |
0.05665 |
209 |
119 |
44 |
46 |
18 |
I won't fight the divorce...... you can have everything |
1.6386 |
0.05405 |
202 |
109 |
57 |
36 |
19 |
The good news is they cancelled my colonoscopy. |
1.6294 |
0.05480 |
197 |
108 |
54 |
35 |
20 |
Don't worry, he's going to replace it with something terrific. |
1.6276 |
0.05457 |
196 |
107 |
55 |
34 |
21 |
He did promise to create more construction jobs. |
1.6276 |
0.05505 |
196 |
108 |
53 |
35 |
22 |
We're just two people breaking up. It's not the end of the world. |
1.6276 |
0.05552 |
196 |
109 |
51 |
36 |
23 |
It's only January, honey. Give him a chance! |
1.6256 |
0.05944 |
195 |
117 |
34 |
44 |
24 |
Okay, maybe you did smell gas. |
1.6218 |
0.05532 |
193 |
107 |
52 |
34 |
25 |
Give him a chance, they said. How bad could he be, they said. |
1.6198 |
0.05844 |
192 |
113 |
39 |
40 |
26 |
Well, maybe the second 100 days will be better. |
1.6117 |
0.05907 |
188 |
112 |
37 |
39 |
27 |
I think we should see other people. |
1.6054 |
0.05690 |
185 |
106 |
46 |
33 |
28 |
Don't look at me. I voted for Hillary. |
1.6047 |
0.05978 |
172 |
100 |
40 |
32 |
29 |
I think we should see other people. |
1.6044 |
0.05606 |
182 |
102 |
50 |
30 |
30 |
Remember when you said you'd only date me if I was the last man on earth? |
1.6033 |
0.05717 |
184 |
106 |
45 |
33 |
31 |
So, what do you think he'll do in his second term? |
1.6033 |
0.05971 |
184 |
111 |
35 |
38 |
32 |
Well, that's one inauguration I don't think any of us will ever forget. |
1.6011 |
0.05796 |
183 |
107 |
42 |
34 |
33 |
That was one hell of an inauguration |
1.5978 |
0.06009 |
179 |
108 |
35 |
36 |
34 |
I would like to see other people |
1.5955 |
0.05658 |
178 |
101 |
48 |
29 |
35 |
On the positive side, no more Twitter. |
1.5932 |
0.05742 |
177 |
102 |
45 |
30 |
36 |
It's still not the worst first date I've been on. |
1.5932 |
0.05572 |
177 |
99 |
51 |
27 |
37 |
I'm very anxious to see Trump's second day in office. |
1.5932 |
0.05798 |
177 |
103 |
43 |
31 |
38 |
You're now looking at the handsomest man alive. |
1.5932 |
0.05907 |
177 |
105 |
39 |
33 |
39 |
So then the genie says, "Sure, I'll make you the sexiest man alive..." |
1.5886 |
0.06182 |
175 |
109 |
29 |
37 |
40 |
Maybe we should have voted. |
1.5862 |
0.05770 |
174 |
101 |
44 |
29 |
41 |
Who knew the Nuclear codes were just 140 characters? |
1.5862 |
0.05996 |
174 |
105 |
36 |
33 |
42 |
Well Joan, now I am the last man on earth. |
1.5838 |
0.06026 |
173 |
105 |
35 |
33 |
43 |
Explain to me again how this is all my fault. |
1.5789 |
0.05856 |
171 |
101 |
41 |
29 |
44 |
So I guess this is my fault? |
1.5765 |
0.05826 |
170 |
100 |
42 |
28 |
45 |
It's not like it's the end of the world. |
1.5765 |
0.05455 |
170 |
94 |
54 |
22 |
46 |
Okay, maybe I should have read the instructions. |
1.5765 |
0.05705 |
170 |
98 |
46 |
26 |
47 |
I want to see other people. |
1.5740 |
0.06033 |
169 |
103 |
35 |
31 |
48 |
It said microwave safe |
1.5697 |
0.05908 |
165 |
98 |
40 |
27 |
49 |
Other than that, I think our first date went well. |
1.5697 |
0.05781 |
165 |
96 |
44 |
25 |
50 |
I liked it better when he just tweeted. |
1.5689 |
0.06094 |
167 |
103 |
33 |
31 |
51 |
I hear they've canceled his Twitter account. |
1.5689 |
0.06094 |
167 |
103 |
33 |
31 |
52 |
I liked America better before it was great... |
1.5689 |
0.06035 |
167 |
102 |
35 |
30 |
53 |
Well, at least he drained the swamp! |
1.5689 |
0.05853 |
167 |
99 |
41 |
27 |
54 |
Is it too soon to say "I told you so?" |
1.5671 |
0.05875 |
164 |
97 |
41 |
26 |
55 |
Remember that time you said even if I were the last man on Earth? |
1.5644 |
0.05969 |
163 |
98 |
38 |
27 |
56 |
What do you mean "if" I was the last man on Earth? |
1.5617 |
0.05738 |
162 |
94 |
45 |
23 |
57 |
No, I haven't seen your glasses. |
1.5590 |
0.05901 |
161 |
96 |
40 |
25 |
58 |
In retrospect, last year wasn’t so bad. |
1.5562 |
0.05729 |
160 |
93 |
45 |
22 |
59 |
Why would they even have that button on the copier? |
1.5562 |
0.06191 |
160 |
100 |
31 |
29 |
60 |
But I am the last man on earth. |
1.5562 |
0.05729 |
160 |
93 |
45 |
22 |
61 |
So much for the first 100 days! |
1.5562 |
0.06127 |
160 |
99 |
33 |
28 |
62 |
I'm guessing this will come up in therapy tomorrow. |
1.5562 |
0.05227 |
160 |
86 |
59 |
15 |
63 |
I guess we will never see his tax returns. |
1.5535 |
0.05895 |
159 |
95 |
40 |
24 |
64 |
There goes the neighborhood. |
1.5535 |
0.05689 |
159 |
92 |
46 |
21 |
65 |
I don't know, what do you want to do? |
1.5506 |
0.05718 |
158 |
92 |
45 |
21 |
66 |
I think now is the time to buy. |
1.5449 |
0.05558 |
156 |
89 |
49 |
18 |
67 |
So ... NO metal in the microwave? |
1.5419 |
0.05734 |
155 |
91 |
44 |
20 |
68 |
You know the media always tries to blow things out of proportion. |
1.5390 |
0.06051 |
154 |
95 |
35 |
24 |
69 |
You make it sound like it's the end of the world. |
1.5390 |
0.05538 |
154 |
88 |
49 |
17 |
70 |
I suppose this is my fault, too. |
1.5385 |
0.05990 |
156 |
96 |
36 |
24 |
71 |
You're figuring out a way to make this all my fault, aren't you? |
1.5364 |
0.06000 |
151 |
92 |
37 |
22 |
72 |
I met someone. |
1.5364 |
0.06288 |
151 |
96 |
29 |
26 |
73 |
Gesundheit. |
1.5364 |
0.06073 |
151 |
93 |
35 |
23 |
74 |
I told you not to remove the tags on the pillow. |
1.5364 |
0.06073 |
151 |
93 |
35 |
23 |
75 |
I still say 2016 was worse. |
1.5359 |
0.06012 |
153 |
94 |
36 |
23 |
76 |
Are you feeling the Bern now. |
1.5359 |
0.06427 |
153 |
100 |
24 |
29 |
77 |
Game over. Someone played the Trump card. |
1.5359 |
0.06153 |
153 |
96 |
32 |
25 |
78 |
That was close. |
1.5333 |
0.06032 |
150 |
92 |
36 |
22 |
79 |
I think now is the time to buy. |
1.5333 |
0.06106 |
150 |
93 |
34 |
23 |
80 |
I told you not to open the attachment. |
1.5270 |
0.06320 |
148 |
95 |
28 |
25 |
81 |
On the bright side, I'm now less worried about my carbon footprint. |
1.5270 |
0.05708 |
148 |
87 |
44 |
17 |
82 |
I told you not to remove the tag from the pillow. |
1.5270 |
0.06247 |
148 |
94 |
30 |
24 |
83 |
In hindsight, maybe the launch code shouldn't have been 12345. |
1.5270 |
0.05788 |
148 |
88 |
42 |
18 |
84 |
At least we have a shot at getting Hamilton tickets. |
1.5238 |
0.05819 |
147 |
88 |
41 |
18 |
85 |
I'll let you keep the house. |
1.5238 |
0.05898 |
147 |
89 |
39 |
19 |
86 |
Honey, have you seen my Samsung 7? |
1.5238 |
0.05977 |
147 |
90 |
37 |
20 |
87 |
Well at least we don't have to worry about his second term. |
1.5238 |
0.06054 |
147 |
91 |
35 |
21 |
88 |
The first sign was the Cubs winning the World Series. |
1.5238 |
0.05898 |
147 |
89 |
39 |
19 |
89 |
Okay, next time I'll read the instructions! |
1.5238 |
0.05819 |
147 |
88 |
41 |
18 |
90 |
Yea, but think of all the construction jobs he just created! |
1.5238 |
0.05977 |
147 |
90 |
37 |
20 |
91 |
Have you seen the cat? |
1.5238 |
0.05977 |
147 |
90 |
37 |
20 |
92 |
What's it going to take for twitter to suspend his account? |
1.5238 |
0.06131 |
147 |
92 |
33 |
22 |
93 |
Did you remember to lock the front door? |
1.5205 |
0.05768 |
146 |
87 |
42 |
17 |
94 |
So, not even if I am the last man on earth? |
1.5205 |
0.06240 |
146 |
93 |
30 |
23 |
95 |
I suppose this is also my fault. |
1.5205 |
0.06164 |
146 |
92 |
32 |
22 |
96 |
Now you have my complete attention. |
1.5205 |
0.06009 |
146 |
90 |
36 |
20 |
97 |
Cheer up. I hear this is fake news. |
1.5205 |
0.06009 |
146 |
90 |
36 |
20 |
98 |
So.... how was your day? |
1.5172 |
0.05715 |
145 |
86 |
43 |
16 |
99 |
Well, now that I actually am the last man on earth . . . . |
1.5172 |
0.06275 |
145 |
93 |
29 |
23 |
100 |
On the plus side, the 3:00AM tweets have stopped. |
1.5172 |
0.06120 |
145 |
91 |
33 |
21 |
101 |
Not with a bang but a tweet. |
1.5172 |
0.06120 |
145 |
91 |
33 |
21 |
102 |
You seem upset. |
1.5139 |
0.06232 |
144 |
92 |
30 |
22 |
103 |
Yes, I realize I said nothing could be worse than 2016... |
1.5139 |
0.05829 |
144 |
87 |
40 |
17 |
104 |
Well, at least it was a short presidency |
1.5139 |
0.06386 |
144 |
94 |
26 |
24 |
105 |
It's a little late to change your vote. |
1.5139 |
0.06074 |
144 |
90 |
34 |
20 |
106 |
Actually, I have all the time in the world |
1.5106 |
0.05922 |
141 |
86 |
38 |
17 |
107 |
At least he can't tweet anymore. |
1.5106 |
0.06336 |
141 |
91 |
28 |
22 |
108 |
Think we just inherited the earth. |
1.5106 |
0.05922 |
141 |
86 |
38 |
17 |
109 |
Okay. You were right. You DID smell gas. |
1.5106 |
0.06007 |
141 |
87 |
36 |
18 |
110 |
I hope this is fake news |
1.5106 |
0.05836 |
141 |
85 |
40 |
16 |
111 |
For the last time, it's pronounced nuclear, not nucular. |
1.5106 |
0.06336 |
141 |
91 |
28 |
22 |
112 |
Why is everything always MY fault? |
1.5106 |
0.06007 |
141 |
87 |
36 |
18 |
113 |
I swear. There's no one else. |
1.5106 |
0.06174 |
141 |
89 |
32 |
20 |
114 |
Well, it appears we waited too long to move to Canada. |
1.5105 |
0.05776 |
143 |
86 |
41 |
16 |
115 |
You win, he is that crazy. |
1.5105 |
0.06107 |
143 |
90 |
33 |
20 |
116 |
I guess this is all my fault too. |
1.5105 |
0.06107 |
143 |
90 |
33 |
20 |
117 |
Well that was one of our more memorable arguments. |
1.5105 |
0.05944 |
143 |
88 |
37 |
18 |
118 |
Did you turn off the stove? |
1.5105 |
0.06422 |
143 |
94 |
25 |
24 |
119 |
Jeez! The Inauguration was only yesterday! |
1.5105 |
0.06266 |
143 |
92 |
29 |
22 |
120 |
I hear they've finally canceled his Twitter account. |
1.5071 |
0.06208 |
140 |
89 |
31 |
20 |
121 |
I appreciate your dedication to keeping this appointment. |
1.5071 |
0.06208 |
140 |
89 |
31 |
20 |
122 |
Never...ever...ask Siri that again. |
1.5071 |
0.06290 |
140 |
90 |
29 |
21 |
123 |
To think it started as a Twitter war. |
1.5071 |
0.06451 |
140 |
92 |
25 |
23 |
124 |
You are positively glowing. |
1.5071 |
0.06124 |
140 |
88 |
33 |
19 |
125 |
Well, the good news is he can't tweet anymore. |
1.5071 |
0.06451 |
140 |
92 |
25 |
23 |
126 |
On the bright side, Mexico is building a wall to keep us out. |
1.5036 |
0.05987 |
139 |
86 |
36 |
17 |
127 |
Who was the idiot that put the nuclear codes on Twitter? |
1.5036 |
0.06158 |
139 |
88 |
32 |
19 |
128 |
"How much could go wrong in four years," you said. |
1.5036 |
0.06325 |
139 |
90 |
28 |
21 |
129 |
Well, you're not my first choice to repopulate the Earth either. |
1.5036 |
0.06407 |
139 |
91 |
26 |
22 |
130 |
Well at least Hamilton tickets might be available |
1.5036 |
0.06242 |
139 |
89 |
30 |
20 |
131 |
it's still his first year in office, give him a chance ! |
1.5036 |
0.06488 |
139 |
92 |
24 |
23 |
132 |
On second thought, maybe we shouldn't see other people. |
1.5036 |
0.05987 |
139 |
86 |
36 |
17 |
133 |
You said we'd all make it through his first 100 days. You owe me five dollars. |
1.5000 |
0.06019 |
138 |
86 |
35 |
17 |
134 |
Well, the repeal part is done. |
1.5000 |
0.06444 |
138 |
91 |
25 |
22 |
135 |
So...you can have the house |
1.5000 |
0.06277 |
138 |
89 |
29 |
20 |
136 |
You were right. Are you happy now? |
1.5000 |
0.06290 |
140 |
91 |
28 |
21 |
137 |
Okay, he probably shouldn't have tweeted that. |
1.5000 |
0.06125 |
140 |
89 |
32 |
19 |
138 |
Yes, in retrospect, I would change my vote. |
1.5000 |
0.06277 |
138 |
89 |
29 |
20 |
139 |
Well, at least Trump Tower is gone. |
1.5000 |
0.06444 |
138 |
91 |
25 |
22 |
140 |
I was on board for making America great again, but I didn't think they'd start from scratch ... |
1.4964 |
0.06397 |
137 |
90 |
26 |
21 |
141 |
How about now that I actually am the last guy on earth? |
1.4964 |
0.06227 |
137 |
88 |
30 |
19 |
142 |
Not even if I'm the last man on earth? |
1.4964 |
0.06140 |
137 |
87 |
32 |
18 |
143 |
Tell the lawyer you can keep the house. |
1.4964 |
0.06397 |
137 |
90 |
26 |
21 |
144 |
I suppose you're not cooking dinner tonight? |
1.4964 |
0.06052 |
137 |
86 |
34 |
17 |
145 |
Okay. Perhaps aluminum foil should not go in the microwave. |
1.4964 |
0.06140 |
137 |
87 |
32 |
18 |
146 |
Fine. Neither of us keep the house. |
1.4964 |
0.06227 |
137 |
88 |
30 |
19 |
147 |
No, Sharon, I'm not happy now. |
1.4964 |
0.06397 |
137 |
90 |
26 |
21 |
148 |
They took away his Twitter account. |
1.4964 |
0.06644 |
137 |
93 |
20 |
24 |
149 |
Actually, his first week went better than I expected. |
1.4964 |
0.06227 |
137 |
88 |
30 |
19 |
150 |
Uber says 9 minutes barring another attack |
1.4964 |
0.06140 |
137 |
87 |
32 |
18 |
151 |
Apparently, he thought it was the tweet button |
1.4964 |
0.06480 |
137 |
91 |
24 |
22 |
152 |
Get him a chemistry set you said! |
1.4964 |
0.05780 |
137 |
83 |
40 |
14 |
153 |
Well at least we got Obamacare repealed. |
1.4926 |
0.06601 |
136 |
92 |
21 |
23 |
154 |
Remember when you said you wouldn't date me if I were the last man on earth? |
1.4926 |
0.05995 |
136 |
85 |
35 |
16 |
155 |
I wonder what the other button did. |
1.4926 |
0.05716 |
136 |
82 |
41 |
13 |
156 |
You act like it's the end of the world. |
1.4926 |
0.05904 |
136 |
84 |
37 |
15 |
157 |
On a more positive note it eliminates the need for a wall. |
1.4926 |
0.06348 |
136 |
89 |
27 |
20 |
158 |
I can't believe it is only January 21st. |
1.4926 |
0.06262 |
136 |
88 |
29 |
19 |
159 |
... and it's only January 21st. |
1.4926 |
0.06348 |
136 |
89 |
27 |
20 |
160 |
So, I guess we'll never know whether it was the Russians, the Chinese, or that four hundred pound guy sitting on the edge his bed. |
1.4926 |
0.06683 |
136 |
93 |
19 |
24 |
161 |
Give the man a chance, honey. He’s only been in office a week. |
1.4926 |
0.06085 |
136 |
86 |
33 |
17 |
162 |
Now that I AM the last man on earth, do you feel any differently? |
1.4926 |
0.06174 |
136 |
87 |
31 |
18 |
163 |
Now that was a spectacular Inauguration! |
1.4926 |
0.06683 |
136 |
93 |
19 |
24 |
164 |
OK—Now I'm with her. |
1.4926 |
0.06348 |
136 |
89 |
27 |
20 |
165 |
I'm not worried, he said this is just fake news. |
1.4926 |
0.06262 |
136 |
88 |
29 |
19 |
166 |
"Not great. How was your day? |
1.4926 |
0.05716 |
136 |
82 |
41 |
13 |
167 |
Fine. You were right. I should have read the directions. |
1.4926 |
0.06174 |
136 |
87 |
31 |
18 |
168 |
Well, it was 4 A.M. and I guess he just thought he could tweet on his new, red phone. |
1.4926 |
0.06348 |
136 |
89 |
27 |
20 |
169 |
So apparently Twitter is not a great medium for foreign policy. |
1.4926 |
0.06262 |
136 |
88 |
29 |
19 |
170 |
Are we Great Again yet? |
1.4926 |
0.06262 |
136 |
88 |
29 |
19 |
171 |
Oh please don't tell me you're gay. |
1.4926 |
0.06262 |
136 |
88 |
29 |
19 |
172 |
Well at least we made it to the final two. |
1.4926 |
0.05995 |
136 |
85 |
35 |
16 |
173 |
That was a hell of a tweet |
1.4926 |
0.06348 |
136 |
89 |
27 |
20 |
174 |
The last thing I remember was pulling the lever in the voting booth |
1.4926 |
0.06518 |
136 |
91 |
23 |
22 |
175 |
Where were we? |
1.4926 |
0.05811 |
136 |
83 |
39 |
14 |
176 |
Somehow you're going to make this MY fault. |
1.4926 |
0.05811 |
136 |
83 |
39 |
14 |
177 |
You didn't pierce the potato skin before you put it in the microwave. |
1.4851 |
0.06153 |
134 |
86 |
31 |
17 |
178 |
I've been looking forward to being alone with you. |
1.4851 |
0.06507 |
134 |
90 |
23 |
21 |
179 |
How have things been going otherwise? |
1.4851 |
0.05579 |
134 |
80 |
43 |
11 |
180 |
That was some inauguration, eh? |
1.4851 |
0.06333 |
134 |
88 |
27 |
19 |
181 |
It turned out that Putin didn't like Trump that much. |
1.4848 |
0.05938 |
132 |
82 |
36 |
14 |
182 |
Well it's finally happened, Shirley...We're all dressed up with no place to go. |
1.4848 |
0.06223 |
132 |
85 |
30 |
17 |
183 |
Turns out 140 characters IS enough. |
1.4848 |
0.06496 |
132 |
88 |
24 |
20 |
184 |
C'mon, Judy. I'm literally the last man on Earth. |
1.4848 |
0.06496 |
132 |
88 |
24 |
20 |
185 |
Oh sure, now you want to move to Canada. |
1.4848 |
0.06130 |
132 |
84 |
32 |
16 |
186 |
Why does everything have to be my fault? |
1.4848 |
0.06315 |
132 |
86 |
28 |
18 |
187 |
Well that was the tweet to end all tweets. |
1.4809 |
0.06884 |
131 |
92 |
15 |
24 |
188 |
Somehow I'm not feeling 'Great Again'... |
1.4809 |
0.06534 |
131 |
88 |
23 |
20 |
189 |
Well, actually, I AM the last man on Earth." |
1.4809 |
0.06352 |
131 |
86 |
27 |
18 |
190 |
Who did he tweet this time? |
1.4809 |
0.06443 |
131 |
87 |
25 |
19 |
191 |
Some Inauguration, huh? |
1.4809 |
0.06352 |
131 |
86 |
27 |
18 |
192 |
So--are you still going to the Women's March tomorrow? |
1.4809 |
0.06443 |
131 |
87 |
25 |
19 |
193 |
We'll, Glenda, it looks like I am the last man on Earth. |
1.4809 |
0.05970 |
131 |
82 |
35 |
14 |
194 |
Oh, so this is my fault? |
1.4809 |
0.06164 |
131 |
84 |
31 |
16 |
195 |
January 21, 2017. "Well, that didn't take long." |
1.4809 |
0.06534 |
131 |
88 |
23 |
20 |
196 |
A bigger person might let this go, but I still hate that sweater on you. |
1.4809 |
0.06623 |
131 |
89 |
21 |
21 |
197 |
You still think we should keep the Electoral College? |
1.4809 |
0.06352 |
131 |
86 |
27 |
18 |
198 |
'I think the Inauguration went well, don't you'? |
1.4809 |
0.06164 |
131 |
84 |
31 |
16 |
199 |
The glass is always half empty with you, isn't it? |
1.4769 |
0.06388 |
130 |
86 |
26 |
18 |
200 |
Adam. And you? |
1.4769 |
0.06101 |
130 |
83 |
32 |
15 |
201 |
So, now that I AM the last man on Earth... |
1.4769 |
0.06294 |
130 |
85 |
28 |
17 |
202 |
In real estate we call this an opportunity. |
1.4769 |
0.06003 |
130 |
82 |
34 |
14 |
203 |
But 'Kim Jong Eun is a stinkyface' was a pretty funny tweet ... |
1.4769 |
0.06572 |
130 |
88 |
22 |
20 |
204 |
OK, so I voted wrong -- you act like it's the end of the world! |
1.4769 |
0.06198 |
130 |
84 |
30 |
16 |
205 |
So just to clarify, that was NOT even if I was the last man on earth? |
1.4769 |
0.06101 |
130 |
83 |
32 |
15 |
206 |
Don't care what the neighbors might say, I still think you can control the heat easier with a gas range... |
1.4769 |
0.06294 |
130 |
85 |
28 |
17 |
207 |
Sure, maybe it was Russia. Maybe it was China. For all we know, it was a 400 kiloton guy sitting on his bed in New Jersey! |
1.4733 |
0.06532 |
131 |
89 |
22 |
20 |
208 |
Your exact words were, "Maybe if you were the last man on earth." |
1.4733 |
0.06256 |
131 |
86 |
28 |
17 |
209 |
Apparently, our neighborhood was ruining the view from his golf course. |
1.4733 |
0.06441 |
131 |
88 |
24 |
19 |
210 |
I may not be 'The One.' But I am the one left. |
1.4733 |
0.05968 |
131 |
83 |
34 |
14 |
211 |
Okay, you can have the house. |
1.4729 |
0.05935 |
129 |
81 |
35 |
13 |
212 |
You win. |
1.4729 |
0.06425 |
129 |
86 |
25 |
18 |
213 |
I think we just experienced the 'temperamentally unfit' part. |
1.4729 |
0.06330 |
129 |
85 |
27 |
17 |
214 |
You take the house. |
1.4729 |
0.06036 |
129 |
82 |
33 |
14 |
215 |
Yea, but think of all the construction jobs he just created! |
1.4729 |
0.06135 |
129 |
83 |
31 |
15 |
216 |
All right, what's the SECOND worst that could happen? |
1.4729 |
0.06233 |
129 |
84 |
29 |
16 |
217 |
No, I distinctly remember you saying only if I was the last man on earth. |
1.4729 |
0.06425 |
129 |
86 |
25 |
18 |
218 |
Now that we've leveled the playing field, can we talk? |
1.4729 |
0.05511 |
129 |
77 |
43 |
9 |
219 |
Good party. |
1.4729 |
0.06036 |
129 |
82 |
33 |
14 |
220 |
Remember when you said, "not if you were the last man on earth"? |
1.4729 |
0.06518 |
129 |
87 |
23 |
19 |
221 |
I'm seeing someone else. |
1.4729 |
0.06330 |
129 |
85 |
27 |
17 |
222 |
I voted for change. |
1.4729 |
0.06518 |
129 |
87 |
23 |
19 |
223 |
Well, that was one hell of an inauguration week. |
1.4729 |
0.06233 |
129 |
84 |
29 |
16 |
224 |
So maybe we should scrap the Electoral College. |
1.4688 |
0.06170 |
128 |
83 |
30 |
15 |
225 |
Still think we shouldn't take him literally? |
1.4688 |
0.06366 |
128 |
85 |
26 |
17 |
226 |
So... what are your plans for his second day in office? |
1.4688 |
0.06366 |
128 |
85 |
26 |
17 |
227 |
...and what do you think we can expect for the SECOND week of the new administration? |
1.4688 |
0.05967 |
128 |
81 |
34 |
13 |
228 |
And to think it's only been ten days since the inauguration. |
1.4688 |
0.06268 |
128 |
84 |
28 |
16 |
229 |
Ok, maybe we do need counseling. |
1.4688 |
0.06069 |
128 |
82 |
32 |
14 |
230 |
To be fair, he's only been in office for a month. |
1.4688 |
0.06268 |
128 |
84 |
28 |
16 |
231 |
And yet they still won't abolish the Electoral College. |
1.4688 |
0.06268 |
128 |
84 |
28 |
16 |
232 |
I told you we shouldn't have gotten Samsung phones! |
1.4688 |
0.06170 |
128 |
83 |
30 |
15 |
233 |
You looked less surrounded by devastation in your profile. |
1.4688 |
0.06069 |
128 |
82 |
32 |
14 |
234 |
I heard that President Trump thought the red button was for room service! |
1.4688 |
0.06649 |
128 |
88 |
20 |
20 |
235 |
I'd like to revisit your "Not even if you were the last man on Earth" statement, Linda. |
1.4688 |
0.06556 |
128 |
87 |
22 |
19 |
236 |
A lot of people are saying this didn't happen. |
1.4688 |
0.05967 |
128 |
81 |
34 |
13 |
237 |
But I'm pretty sure I am the last man on earth, Jean. |
1.4688 |
0.06366 |
128 |
85 |
26 |
17 |
238 |
"Talk about dumb luck...Only female left on earth and it's my 2nd grade teacher"! |
1.4651 |
0.06327 |
129 |
86 |
26 |
17 |
239 |
I suppose it depends on your definition of 'great again.' |
1.4646 |
0.06204 |
127 |
83 |
29 |
15 |
240 |
Why does everything have to be the end of the world with you?? |
1.4646 |
0.06499 |
127 |
86 |
23 |
18 |
241 |
He really got down to business those first 100 days, I'll give him that. |
1.4646 |
0.06304 |
127 |
84 |
27 |
16 |
242 |
I wonder what the next 3 years and 364 days will be like. |
1.4646 |
0.06204 |
127 |
83 |
29 |
15 |
243 |
Trump just tweeted that their first strike was 'overrated'. |
1.4646 |
0.06304 |
127 |
84 |
27 |
16 |
244 |
Well, I AM the last man on earth, and I'd like you to reconsider. |
1.4646 |
0.06499 |
127 |
86 |
23 |
18 |
245 |
I don't think the bus is coming. |
1.4646 |
0.05999 |
127 |
81 |
33 |
13 |
246 |
Happy now? |
1.4646 |
0.05999 |
127 |
81 |
33 |
13 |
247 |
And you said, "How much damage can he possibly do in four years?"!! |
1.4646 |
0.06595 |
127 |
87 |
21 |
19 |
248 |
Honestly, I love you more than anyone else on Earth. |
1.4646 |
0.06304 |
127 |
84 |
27 |
16 |
249 |
Take-out tonight? |
1.4646 |
0.06304 |
127 |
84 |
27 |
16 |
250 |
So... wanna repopulate? |
1.4646 |
0.06102 |
127 |
82 |
31 |
14 |
251 |
I'm starting to think 2016 wasn't that bad... |
1.4646 |
0.05999 |
127 |
81 |
33 |
13 |
252 |
We shouldn't have joked about his penis. |
1.4646 |
0.06499 |
127 |
86 |
23 |
18 |
253 |
Did you have any trouble finding the place? |
1.4646 |
0.05894 |
127 |
80 |
35 |
12 |
254 |
Soooo, you live around here? |
1.4646 |
0.05894 |
127 |
80 |
35 |
12 |
255 |
What do you mean there's another man? |
1.4603 |
0.06340 |
126 |
84 |
26 |
16 |
256 |
Now do you believe I smelled gas? |
1.4603 |
0.06439 |
126 |
85 |
24 |
17 |
257 |
The first 100 days went better than I thought. |
1.4603 |
0.06032 |
126 |
81 |
32 |
13 |
258 |
Do we still have to use a condom? |
1.4603 |
0.06239 |
126 |
83 |
28 |
15 |
259 |
I told you we should move to Canada. |
1.4603 |
0.06032 |
126 |
81 |
32 |
13 |
260 |
Kind of puts climate change on the back burner, doesn’t it? |
1.4603 |
0.06439 |
126 |
85 |
24 |
17 |
261 |
Hey, don't look at me... I voted for Hillary |
1.4597 |
0.06618 |
124 |
85 |
21 |
18 |
262 |
This calls for a selfie |
1.4597 |
0.06618 |
124 |
85 |
21 |
18 |
263 |
Okay, NOW you have my full attention. |
1.4597 |
0.06102 |
124 |
80 |
31 |
13 |
264 |
Ha! They all laughed when we scrunched down under our desks. |
1.4597 |
0.05994 |
124 |
79 |
33 |
12 |
265 |
Well that escalated quickly. |
1.4597 |
0.06102 |
124 |
80 |
31 |
13 |
266 |
I said yes, 'yes the gas is not off'. |
1.4597 |
0.06417 |
124 |
83 |
25 |
16 |
267 |
The good news is they've found our luggage. |
1.4597 |
0.05656 |
124 |
76 |
39 |
9 |
268 |
In retrospect, that last tweet may have been a mistake. |
1.4597 |
0.06518 |
124 |
84 |
23 |
17 |
269 |
...and anyway, it's pronounced 'nuke-u-lar,' Edna. |
1.4597 |
0.06417 |
124 |
83 |
25 |
16 |
270 |
Does this mean we're cockroaches? |
1.4597 |
0.06417 |
124 |
83 |
25 |
16 |
271 |
Well, at least he didn't use a private server for his government emails |
1.4597 |
0.06417 |
124 |
83 |
25 |
16 |
272 |
Do you think we still have wi-fi? |
1.4567 |
0.05562 |
127 |
78 |
40 |
9 |
273 |
I don't think the bus has ever been this late before. |
1.4567 |
0.06098 |
127 |
83 |
30 |
14 |
274 |
I told you I smelled gas. |
1.4567 |
0.06398 |
127 |
86 |
24 |
17 |
275 |
Now's the best time to buy |
1.4567 |
0.05995 |
127 |
82 |
32 |
13 |
276 |
In retrospect divorce mediation might have been a better choice. |
1.4553 |
0.06350 |
123 |
82 |
26 |
15 |
277 |
You look a bit less cheerful than your online photo. |
1.4553 |
0.05567 |
123 |
75 |
40 |
8 |
278 |
I think we should start seeing other people. |
1.4553 |
0.06244 |
123 |
81 |
28 |
14 |
279 |
So much for cozying up to Putin |
1.4553 |
0.06350 |
123 |
82 |
26 |
15 |
280 |
So...are you single? |
1.4553 |
0.05915 |
123 |
78 |
34 |
11 |
281 |
When I said that George, I didn't think you'd actually be the last man on Earth. |
1.4553 |
0.06556 |
123 |
84 |
22 |
17 |
282 |
So, it appears you did NOT turn off the coffee maker. |
1.4553 |
0.06350 |
123 |
82 |
26 |
15 |
283 |
Give him a fair shot-he's only been in office a week. |
1.4553 |
0.06136 |
123 |
80 |
30 |
13 |
284 |
I know what you said before, but now that I AM the last man on earth....... |
1.4553 |
0.06454 |
123 |
83 |
24 |
16 |
285 |
Sorry, Eve; I'm gay. |
1.4553 |
0.06136 |
123 |
80 |
30 |
13 |
286 |
What a relief! The president just tweeted that reports of total destruction were all fake news. |
1.4553 |
0.06244 |
123 |
81 |
28 |
14 |
287 |
Unfortunately, we still haven't met our deductible. |
1.4553 |
0.06244 |
123 |
81 |
28 |
14 |
288 |
Looks like you'll meet your deductible... |
1.4553 |
0.06244 |
123 |
81 |
28 |
14 |
289 |
Let's eat out tonight. |
1.4553 |
0.05915 |
123 |
78 |
34 |
11 |
290 |
Okay, but let's not forget about Hillary's emails. |
1.4553 |
0.06556 |
123 |
84 |
22 |
17 |
291 |
OK, can we just agree that I was wrong when I said, "it's just an election, it's not the end of the world" and move on? |
1.4553 |
0.06657 |
123 |
85 |
20 |
18 |
292 |
We should start thinking about the midterm elections. |
1.4508 |
0.06170 |
122 |
80 |
29 |
13 |
293 |
As nuclear winters go, it's been quite a mild one. |
1.4508 |
0.06279 |
122 |
81 |
27 |
14 |
294 |
I hear Michigan, Ohio and Wisconsin are untouched. |
1.4508 |
0.06595 |
122 |
84 |
21 |
17 |
295 |
Might you reconsider now that I AM the last man on Earth? |
1.4508 |
0.06595 |
122 |
84 |
21 |
17 |
296 |
I don't see a future for us. |
1.4508 |
0.06170 |
122 |
80 |
29 |
13 |
297 |
As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted... |
1.4508 |
0.05832 |
122 |
77 |
35 |
10 |
298 |
Fake news! |
1.4508 |
0.06697 |
122 |
85 |
19 |
18 |
299 |
Somehow I think this will end up being my fault. |
1.4508 |
0.06491 |
122 |
83 |
23 |
16 |
300 |
It's just more fake news. |
1.4508 |
0.06386 |
122 |
82 |
25 |
15 |
301 |
Only four more years. |
1.4508 |
0.06386 |
122 |
82 |
25 |
15 |
302 |
Well, I voted for change. |
1.4508 |
0.06491 |
122 |
83 |
23 |
16 |
303 |
Would I vote for him again? Probably not. |
1.4508 |
0.06595 |
122 |
84 |
21 |
17 |
304 |
No, I did not put something metallic in the microwave. |
1.4508 |
0.06279 |
122 |
81 |
27 |
14 |
305 |
It started with a Tweet. |
1.4508 |
0.06491 |
122 |
83 |
23 |
16 |
306 |
What do you say now? I AM the last man on earth. |
1.4472 |
0.06449 |
123 |
84 |
23 |
16 |
307 |
Don't worry - this is just an invention of the liberal media. |
1.4472 |
0.06239 |
123 |
82 |
27 |
14 |
308 |
Remember when you said, "not even if you where the last man on earth..." |
1.4463 |
0.06205 |
121 |
80 |
28 |
13 |
309 |
So...we're off the hook for dinner with your mom? |
1.4463 |
0.06634 |
121 |
84 |
20 |
17 |
310 |
Well... now I am the last man on earth |
1.4463 |
0.06529 |
121 |
83 |
22 |
16 |
311 |
Well, I AM the last man on earth... |
1.4463 |
0.06423 |
121 |
82 |
24 |
15 |
312 |
I still say give him a chance. |
1.4463 |
0.06093 |
121 |
79 |
30 |
12 |
313 |
I know it wasn't a great first date, but can I call you? |
1.4463 |
0.05862 |
121 |
77 |
34 |
10 |
314 |
Well, now we really have nothing to talk about. |
1.4463 |
0.06093 |
121 |
79 |
30 |
12 |
315 |
I guess Putin didn't think that tweet was funny. |
1.4463 |
0.06529 |
121 |
83 |
22 |
16 |
316 |
Just had to keep tweeting about his hair, didn't you? |
1.4463 |
0.06634 |
121 |
84 |
20 |
17 |
317 |
Well, Martha, he still has three years to make America great again. |
1.4463 |
0.06315 |
121 |
81 |
26 |
14 |
318 |
So, is this your first apocalypse? |
1.4463 |
0.05862 |
121 |
77 |
34 |
10 |
319 |
And you were worried about the repeal of Obamacare. |
1.4426 |
0.05941 |
122 |
79 |
32 |
11 |
320 |
No neighbors and an open concept. Looks like we both get what we want. |
1.4426 |
0.06054 |
122 |
80 |
30 |
12 |
321 |
I was wrong. Things could get worse. |
1.4426 |
0.06165 |
122 |
81 |
28 |
13 |
322 |
On the plus side, Obamacare was repealed. |
1.4426 |
0.06273 |
122 |
82 |
26 |
14 |
323 |
I should have clarified what you meant by nuclear family. |
1.4426 |
0.06792 |
122 |
87 |
16 |
19 |
324 |
I saw fireworks. How was it for you? |
1.4426 |
0.06486 |
122 |
84 |
22 |
16 |
325 |
Have you seen the remote? |
1.4417 |
0.06567 |
120 |
83 |
21 |
16 |
326 |
What do you mean "if" I was the last man on Earth? |
1.4417 |
0.06777 |
120 |
85 |
17 |
18 |
327 |
I think we should try to see other people. |
1.4417 |
0.06239 |
120 |
80 |
27 |
13 |
328 |
Satisfied? |
1.4417 |
0.06351 |
120 |
81 |
25 |
14 |
329 |
Don't blame me. YOU voted for him. |
1.4417 |
0.06351 |
120 |
81 |
25 |
14 |
330 |
One tweet too many? |
1.4370 |
0.06043 |
119 |
78 |
30 |
11 |
331 |
He'll get the hang of it by his second term. |
1.4370 |
0.06160 |
119 |
79 |
28 |
12 |
332 |
And that was just his inaugural speech. |
1.4370 |
0.06160 |
119 |
79 |
28 |
12 |
333 |
Ten bucks says the bus is late! |
1.4370 |
0.06387 |
119 |
81 |
24 |
14 |
334 |
Well, they've taken care of Housing and Urban Development. I guess Energy is next. |
1.4370 |
0.06274 |
119 |
80 |
26 |
13 |
335 |
This seems to be the "for worse" part |
1.4370 |
0.06713 |
119 |
84 |
18 |
17 |
336 |
Oh well, we did vote for change. |
1.4370 |
0.06497 |
119 |
82 |
22 |
15 |
337 |
Why do you always have to go ballistic? |
1.4370 |
0.06387 |
119 |
81 |
24 |
14 |
338 |
This is probably not the best time for me to come out of the closet.... |
1.4370 |
0.06497 |
119 |
82 |
22 |
15 |
339 |
My bucket list has changed. What about yours? |
1.4370 |
0.06043 |
119 |
78 |
30 |
11 |
340 |
I specifically told the travel agent ANCIENT ruins. |
1.4370 |
0.06274 |
119 |
80 |
26 |
13 |
341 |
So much for "Putin likes me and that is an asset"! |
1.4370 |
0.06274 |
119 |
80 |
26 |
13 |
342 |
So...now that I really am the last man on earth... |
1.4370 |
0.06497 |
119 |
82 |
22 |
15 |
343 |
I'm usually more fun on the second date. |
1.4370 |
0.06387 |
119 |
81 |
24 |
14 |
344 |
The good news is, you get to repopulate the earth. The bad news, you get to do it with me. |
1.4370 |
0.06387 |
119 |
81 |
24 |
14 |
345 |
Something tells me the bus isn't coming. |
1.4370 |
0.05924 |
119 |
77 |
32 |
10 |
346 |
I think we should see other people, assuming we can find some. |
1.4322 |
0.06193 |
118 |
79 |
27 |
12 |
347 |
Well it drained the swamp. |
1.4322 |
0.06423 |
118 |
81 |
23 |
14 |
348 |
At least he won't be reelected. |
1.4322 |
0.06645 |
118 |
83 |
19 |
16 |
349 |
Okay, maybe I should have read the instructions. |
1.4322 |
0.06193 |
118 |
79 |
27 |
12 |
350 |
So...are you single? |
1.4322 |
0.06075 |
118 |
78 |
29 |
11 |
351 |
This is going to create tremendous jobs in the construction industry. |
1.4322 |
0.05955 |
118 |
77 |
31 |
10 |
352 |
Well, it looks like we have time to talk now |
1.4322 |
0.06309 |
118 |
80 |
25 |
13 |
353 |
Well, you said you wouldn't marry me unless I was the last man on Earth. |
1.4322 |
0.05955 |
118 |
77 |
31 |
10 |
354 |
Well, you have to admit he did a lot in his first 100 days! |
1.4322 |
0.06645 |
118 |
83 |
19 |
16 |
355 |
Well, this is your chance to say, 'I told you so'. |
1.4322 |
0.06423 |
118 |
81 |
23 |
14 |
356 |
Thank Goodness we finally have the place to ourselves! |
1.4322 |
0.06645 |
118 |
83 |
19 |
16 |
357 |
"Korea's missiles are overrated" he Tweeted. |
1.4322 |
0.06535 |
118 |
82 |
21 |
15 |
358 |
And you were worried about a second term. |
1.4322 |
0.06645 |
118 |
83 |
19 |
16 |
359 |
Well, as it turns out, I am the last man on earth... |
1.4322 |
0.06075 |
118 |
78 |
29 |
11 |
360 |
Have you changed your mind now that I AM the last man? |
1.4322 |
0.06193 |
118 |
79 |
27 |
12 |
361 |
I think it's an appropriate time to talk about our future. |
1.4310 |
0.05506 |
116 |
72 |
38 |
6 |
362 |
I wonder what day two of the Trump presidency is going to be like... |
1.4310 |
0.06270 |
116 |
78 |
26 |
12 |
363 |
To make a country great again, sometimes you need to start from scratch. |
1.4310 |
0.06150 |
116 |
77 |
28 |
11 |
364 |
Well Linda, now I am the last man on Earth. |
1.4310 |
0.06389 |
116 |
79 |
24 |
13 |
365 |
I'm moving out. |
1.4310 |
0.06389 |
116 |
79 |
24 |
13 |
366 |
They say it started as a tweet. |
1.4310 |
0.06842 |
116 |
83 |
16 |
17 |
367 |
"It's only four years," they said. "He can't possibly do that much," they said. |
1.4310 |
0.06732 |
116 |
82 |
18 |
16 |
368 |
Say what you will, at least he didn't have a private e-mail server. |
1.4310 |
0.06619 |
116 |
81 |
20 |
15 |
369 |
Well, that was an interesting 4 years |
1.4310 |
0.06842 |
116 |
83 |
16 |
17 |
370 |
I heard what sounded like a 'tweet', and then a tremendous boom, tremendous boom. |
1.4310 |
0.06732 |
116 |
82 |
18 |
16 |
371 |
First we rebuild a Starbucks. We'll figure out the rest from there. |
1.4310 |
0.06270 |
116 |
78 |
26 |
12 |
372 |
So, is this your first apocalypse? |
1.4310 |
0.06026 |
116 |
76 |
30 |
10 |
373 |
At least this hurts his chances for a second term! |
1.4310 |
0.06026 |
116 |
76 |
30 |
10 |
374 |
So what's the worst thing that can happen? |
1.4310 |
0.05901 |
116 |
75 |
32 |
9 |
375 |
I guess your mother won't be staying with us after all. |
1.4310 |
0.06150 |
116 |
77 |
28 |
11 |
376 |
Maryanne, do you remember when you said, 'Maybe if you were the last guy on earth.'?" |
1.4310 |
0.06150 |
116 |
77 |
28 |
11 |
377 |
And then Kim Jong-un tweeted, "Meryl Streep isn't overrated, Helen Mirren is overrated." |
1.4310 |
0.06150 |
116 |
77 |
28 |
11 |
378 |
I was wrong, you were right. Happy? |
1.4310 |
0.06505 |
116 |
80 |
22 |
14 |
379 |
...and it's only been three days since the Inauguration! |
1.4310 |
0.06505 |
116 |
80 |
22 |
14 |
380 |
On the plus side, our lawyers won't be getting anything either. |
1.4310 |
0.06270 |
116 |
78 |
26 |
12 |
381 |
No wonder we could get tickets. |
1.4310 |
0.06026 |
116 |
76 |
30 |
10 |
382 |
Fake news--all of it. |
1.4286 |
0.06599 |
119 |
84 |
19 |
16 |
383 |
And I say we should reserve judgement till we see what he does in his second hundred days. |
1.4286 |
0.06490 |
119 |
83 |
21 |
15 |
384 |
Otherwise, it was a great 100 days. |
1.4286 |
0.06152 |
119 |
80 |
27 |
12 |
385 |
Seriously? Not even if I really was the last man on earth? |
1.4286 |
0.05794 |
119 |
77 |
33 |
9 |
386 |
I told you the inauguration would be a blast |
1.4286 |
0.06490 |
119 |
83 |
21 |
15 |
387 |
On the bright side; no more tweets. |
1.4286 |
0.06490 |
119 |
83 |
21 |
15 |
388 |
So, this is what 'Great Again' looks like. |
1.4286 |
0.06599 |
119 |
84 |
19 |
16 |
389 |
You can cross de-cluttering off your to-do list. |
1.4286 |
0.05794 |
119 |
77 |
33 |
9 |
390 |
Well, it does make the divorce settlement easier. |
1.4261 |
0.06425 |
115 |
79 |
23 |
13 |
391 |
Yeah, but what about Hillary's emails? |
1.4261 |
0.06425 |
115 |
79 |
23 |
13 |
392 |
So, repopulate? |
1.4261 |
0.06305 |
115 |
78 |
25 |
12 |
393 |
We'll always have the Pre-Apocalypse. |
1.4261 |
0.06183 |
115 |
77 |
27 |
11 |
394 |
I suppose this is all my fault, too. |
1.4261 |
0.06183 |
115 |
77 |
27 |
11 |
395 |
Think harder! I'm sure you can find a way to blame me for this. |
1.4261 |
0.05931 |
115 |
75 |
31 |
9 |
396 |
See? I told you that he had a foreign policy. |
1.4261 |
0.06183 |
115 |
77 |
27 |
11 |
397 |
If Facebook still existed, I'd unfriend you. |
1.4261 |
0.06425 |
115 |
79 |
23 |
13 |
398 |
I heard it's just fake news |
1.4261 |
0.06305 |
115 |
78 |
25 |
12 |
399 |
Is it not our duty to at least try to repopulate the earth? |
1.4261 |
0.06059 |
115 |
76 |
29 |
10 |
400 |
Don't you get it? I really am the last man on earth |
1.4261 |
0.06183 |
115 |
77 |
27 |
11 |
401 |
Honey, you're overreacting. It's not the end of the world. |
1.4261 |
0.06305 |
115 |
78 |
25 |
12 |
402 |
So...can I get you a brick or anything? |
1.4261 |
0.06183 |
115 |
77 |
27 |
11 |
403 |
Ok, NOW we can make America great again. |
1.4261 |
0.06543 |
115 |
80 |
21 |
14 |
404 |
"I wonder what he tweeted this time". |
1.4261 |
0.06884 |
115 |
83 |
15 |
17 |
405 |
Would it help if I said I'm sorry. |
1.4261 |
0.06305 |
115 |
78 |
25 |
12 |
406 |
Okay, in retrospect maybe he did show signs of self-serving narcissistic megalomania. |
1.4261 |
0.06994 |
115 |
84 |
13 |
18 |
407 |
Mind if I smoke? |
1.4261 |
0.06059 |
115 |
76 |
29 |
10 |
408 |
I suppose you'll find some way to blame this all on me. |
1.4261 |
0.05801 |
115 |
74 |
33 |
8 |
409 |
Aside from this, how have you been? |
1.4261 |
0.06305 |
115 |
78 |
25 |
12 |
410 |
Great enough for you? |
1.4261 |
0.06772 |
115 |
82 |
17 |
16 |
411 |
Do you think it was that last tweet? |
1.4261 |
0.06305 |
115 |
78 |
25 |
12 |
412 |
You looked younger in your picture. |
1.4211 |
0.06698 |
114 |
81 |
18 |
15 |
413 |
So it's a twenty minute wait for a table. It's not the end of the world. |
1.4211 |
0.06698 |
114 |
81 |
18 |
15 |
414 |
So much for the Samsung Galaxy. |
1.4211 |
0.06462 |
114 |
79 |
22 |
13 |
415 |
I still say there is no proof that this was caused by human activity. |
1.4211 |
0.06341 |
114 |
78 |
24 |
12 |
416 |
I suppose you're going to say 'I told you so'. |
1.4211 |
0.05962 |
114 |
75 |
30 |
9 |
417 |
Now that we ARE the last two people on earth, have you reconsidered? |
1.4211 |
0.06581 |
114 |
80 |
20 |
14 |
418 |
He did this with a tweet? |
1.4211 |
0.06698 |
114 |
81 |
18 |
15 |
419 |
On the bright side, it is unusally warm for this time of year. |
1.4211 |
0.05962 |
114 |
75 |
30 |
9 |
420 |
But I am the last man on earth. |
1.4211 |
0.06581 |
114 |
80 |
20 |
14 |
421 |
Perhaps you would like to re-think your position now that I actually am the last man on Earth. |
1.4211 |
0.06217 |
114 |
77 |
26 |
11 |
422 |
Do you still think inviting both sets of parents was a good idea? |
1.4174 |
0.06416 |
115 |
80 |
22 |
13 |
423 |
He may have made an error in judgment, but we still don't know what was in Hillary's emails. |
1.4174 |
0.06416 |
115 |
80 |
22 |
13 |
424 |
It looked much different in the brochure. |
1.4174 |
0.06049 |
115 |
77 |
28 |
10 |
425 |
His Twitter feed says it didn't happen. |
1.4159 |
0.06619 |
113 |
80 |
19 |
14 |
426 |
On the plus side, we repealed Obamacare. |
1.4159 |
0.05859 |
113 |
74 |
31 |
8 |
427 |
Yeah, but what about those emails? |
1.4159 |
0.06499 |
113 |
79 |
21 |
13 |
428 |
Your place or mine? |
1.4159 |
0.06376 |
113 |
78 |
23 |
12 |
429 |
Well you got your wish - no more Sunday football. |
1.4159 |
0.06251 |
113 |
77 |
25 |
11 |
430 |
I'm willing to concede they probably should've taken away his Twitter. |
1.4159 |
0.05859 |
113 |
74 |
31 |
8 |
431 |
And to think he isn't officially President yet.... |
1.4159 |
0.06968 |
113 |
83 |
13 |
17 |
432 |
NOW, how's Canada looking to you? |
1.4159 |
0.06251 |
113 |
77 |
25 |
11 |
433 |
Not even if I was the only man on earth, huh? |
1.4159 |
0.06499 |
113 |
79 |
21 |
13 |
434 |
I still say we should give him a chance. |
1.4159 |
0.05993 |
113 |
75 |
29 |
9 |
435 |
At least we won! |
1.4159 |
0.06376 |
113 |
78 |
23 |
12 |
436 |
And you said we wouldn't survive a Trump presidency! |
1.4159 |
0.06619 |
113 |
80 |
19 |
14 |
437 |
Who'd have thought we could afford a place in Manhattan? |
1.4159 |
0.06619 |
113 |
80 |
19 |
14 |
438 |
Turns out elections DO have consequences. |
1.4159 |
0.06251 |
113 |
77 |
25 |
11 |
439 |
Well, I don't smell gas anymore. |
1.4159 |
0.06619 |
113 |
80 |
19 |
14 |
440 |
But I really am the last man on earth. |
1.4159 |
0.06619 |
113 |
80 |
19 |
14 |
441 |
I just don’t understand how this could have happened. He was so good on ‘The Apprentice’! |
1.4159 |
0.06376 |
113 |
78 |
23 |
12 |
442 |
Do you still think we should start seeing other people? |
1.4159 |
0.06499 |
113 |
79 |
21 |
13 |
443 |
Considering the circumstances, I'm willing to waive my broker's fee. |
1.4159 |
0.06376 |
113 |
78 |
23 |
12 |
444 |
You don't look like your profile picture either. |
1.4159 |
0.06619 |
113 |
80 |
19 |
14 |
445 |
I wonder if we'll get our security deposit back. |
1.4159 |
0.05440 |
113 |
71 |
37 |
5 |
446 |
The wall looks tremendous, though. |
1.4159 |
0.06499 |
113 |
79 |
21 |
13 |
447 |
I think you should stop trying to cook. |
1.4159 |
0.06968 |
113 |
83 |
13 |
17 |
448 |
Come to think of it, maybe I didn't turn the gas off. |
1.4159 |
0.06376 |
113 |
78 |
23 |
12 |
449 |
You just had to go and buy the Samsung Galaxy Note 7. |
1.4159 |
0.06499 |
113 |
79 |
21 |
13 |
450 |
Well, the Earth isn’t going to repopulate itself. |
1.4159 |
0.06376 |
113 |
78 |
23 |
12 |
451 |
At least it's a dry heat. |
1.4159 |
0.06123 |
113 |
76 |
27 |
10 |
452 |
My ex-place or yours? |
1.4159 |
0.06123 |
113 |
76 |
27 |
10 |
453 |
Saturday the 21st. Why? |
1.4159 |
0.06251 |
113 |
77 |
25 |
11 |
454 |
At least he's off Twitter. |
1.4159 |
0.06376 |
113 |
78 |
23 |
12 |
455 |
Well, we made it through day 1.... |
1.4159 |
0.06251 |
113 |
77 |
25 |
11 |
456 |
At least we're a nuclear family again. |
1.4159 |
0.05859 |
113 |
74 |
31 |
8 |
457 |
So...other than that, how was your day? |
1.4159 |
0.06123 |
113 |
76 |
27 |
10 |
458 |
At least he didn't use his own email server. |
1.4159 |
0.06619 |
113 |
80 |
19 |
14 |
459 |
Those four years sure flew by, didn't they? |
1.4159 |
0.06619 |
113 |
80 |
19 |
14 |
460 |
Yeah but still... the e-mails! |
1.4118 |
0.07153 |
102 |
74 |
14 |
14 |
461 |
To be fair Linda, Russia insulted us first. |
1.4107 |
0.06156 |
112 |
76 |
26 |
10 |
462 |
Well, I'm the last man earth. What do you say? |
1.4107 |
0.06156 |
112 |
76 |
26 |
10 |
463 |
I guess this makes you the new Eve. |
1.4107 |
0.06024 |
112 |
75 |
28 |
9 |
464 |
They're already rebuilding the Starbucks. |
1.4107 |
0.06156 |
112 |
76 |
26 |
10 |
465 |
Let's see if the cockroaches are alive. |
1.4107 |
0.05888 |
112 |
74 |
30 |
8 |
466 |
I can't believe you locked the keys inside the bunker. |
1.4107 |
0.06536 |
112 |
79 |
20 |
13 |
467 |
I thought we were going to be O.K. but then Putin tweeted something about his hair. |
1.4107 |
0.06412 |
112 |
78 |
22 |
12 |
468 |
So, I forgot your birthday. It's not the end of the world. |
1.4107 |
0.06285 |
112 |
77 |
24 |
11 |
469 |
We'll "repopulate the world" when I don't have a headache. |
1.4107 |
0.06285 |
112 |
77 |
24 |
11 |
470 |
Okay, so maybe it is time to get rid of the electoral college. |
1.4107 |
0.06156 |
112 |
76 |
26 |
10 |
471 |
They're saying it’s a buyer’s market though. |
1.4107 |
0.05750 |
112 |
73 |
32 |
7 |
472 |
Well Louise, I think now we know what that button does. |
1.4107 |
0.06658 |
112 |
80 |
18 |
14 |
473 |
Give it another 100 days. |
1.4107 |
0.06156 |
112 |
76 |
26 |
10 |
474 |
Really! You've never made a mistake? |
1.4107 |
0.06285 |
112 |
77 |
24 |
11 |
475 |
Maybe we should have voted. |
1.4107 |
0.06536 |
112 |
79 |
20 |
13 |
476 |
My ex-place or yours? |
1.4107 |
0.06024 |
112 |
75 |
28 |
9 |
477 |
Well...he did say it was going to be "huuuge". |
1.4091 |
0.06496 |
110 |
77 |
21 |
12 |
478 |
Its hard to believe the inauguration was just last night... |
1.4091 |
0.06623 |
110 |
78 |
19 |
13 |
479 |
At least we still have Obamacare. |
1.4091 |
0.06234 |
110 |
75 |
25 |
10 |
480 |
But I AM the last man in the world. |
1.4091 |
0.06496 |
110 |
77 |
21 |
12 |
481 |
I'm the Senate. You be the House. |
1.4091 |
0.06623 |
110 |
78 |
19 |
13 |
482 |
And I suppose this is my fault too? |
1.4091 |
0.06234 |
110 |
75 |
25 |
10 |
483 |
I know when you say "I'm fine" like that, it's not actually fine. |
1.4091 |
0.06098 |
110 |
74 |
27 |
9 |
484 |
And my mother is still coming. |
1.4091 |
0.06098 |
110 |
74 |
27 |
9 |
485 |
Give the guy a chance. The media always blows things out of proportion. |
1.4091 |
0.05960 |
110 |
73 |
29 |
8 |
486 |
I guess it's up to us, Eve. |
1.4091 |
0.06366 |
110 |
76 |
23 |
11 |
487 |
He said it was going to be huge. |
1.4091 |
0.06366 |
110 |
76 |
23 |
11 |
488 |
I think Tripadvisor has been hacked. |
1.4091 |
0.06496 |
110 |
77 |
21 |
12 |
489 |
Trump tweeted that we won. |
1.4091 |
0.06366 |
110 |
76 |
23 |
11 |
490 |
If only we met under different circumstances. |
1.4091 |
0.05960 |
110 |
73 |
29 |
8 |
491 |
Even though I AM the last man on Earth? |
1.4091 |
0.06234 |
110 |
75 |
25 |
10 |
492 |
And if I WAS the last man on earth? |
1.4091 |
0.05818 |
110 |
72 |
31 |
7 |
493 |
But it pales in comparison to that private email server. |
1.4091 |
0.06496 |
110 |
77 |
21 |
12 |
494 |
I too enjoy long romantic walks through the apocalypse |
1.4091 |
0.06496 |
110 |
77 |
21 |
12 |
495 |
Alright, I did leave the oven on. |
1.4091 |
0.06098 |
110 |
74 |
27 |
9 |
496 |
At least they repealed Obamacare. |
1.4091 |
0.06234 |
110 |
75 |
25 |
10 |
497 |
I don't care if you are the only person left; you don't look anything like your photo |
1.4091 |
0.06234 |
110 |
75 |
25 |
10 |
498 |
I thought Aleppo was one of the Marx brothers. |
1.4091 |
0.06623 |
110 |
78 |
19 |
13 |
499 |
That was one hell of an inauguration |
1.4091 |
0.06366 |
110 |
76 |
23 |
11 |
500 |
Do hou have any plans for tonight ? |
1.4091 |
0.06623 |
110 |
78 |
19 |
13 |
501 |
It’s amazing what some people can accomplish with just 140 characters. |
1.4091 |
0.06623 |
110 |
78 |
19 |
13 |
502 |
Well, the roaches ARE dead, aren't they? |
1.4091 |
0.05818 |
110 |
72 |
31 |
7 |
503 |
This certainly simplifies the divorce settlement. |
1.4091 |
0.06098 |
110 |
74 |
27 |
9 |
504 |
Now you've ruined everything. |
1.4071 |
0.06609 |
113 |
81 |
18 |
14 |
505 |
Remind me again why the electoral college is so great. |
1.4071 |
0.06365 |
113 |
79 |
22 |
12 |
506 |
I miss the old neighborhood. |
1.4071 |
0.06365 |
113 |
79 |
22 |
12 |
507 |
So, was that the first time you used a pressure cooker ?? |
1.4071 |
0.05711 |
113 |
74 |
32 |
7 |
508 |
I dunno. What do you want to do? |
1.4071 |
0.06112 |
113 |
77 |
26 |
10 |
509 |
Everything was fine until Trump tweeted, "Russian arsenal highly overrated. Putin #sad!" |
1.4071 |
0.06365 |
113 |
79 |
22 |
12 |
510 |
Looks like I'm the last man. Still no? |
1.4071 |
0.06488 |
113 |
80 |
20 |
13 |
511 |
I guess that was Trump's last tweet. |
1.4071 |
0.06488 |
113 |
80 |
20 |
13 |
512 |
I expected you to choose divorce, not the nuclear option. |
1.4071 |
0.06365 |
113 |
79 |
22 |
12 |
513 |
So...what do you like to do for fun? |
1.4054 |
0.06054 |
111 |
75 |
27 |
9 |
514 |
OK, Gladys, now that I actually AM the last man on earth, what was it you were saying? |
1.4054 |
0.06054 |
111 |
75 |
27 |
9 |
515 |
So, would you like to hear my side? |
1.4054 |
0.06319 |
111 |
77 |
23 |
11 |
516 |
On the bright side, the swamp's been drained. |
1.4040 |
0.06722 |
99 |
69 |
20 |
10 |
517 |
You lost, we won. Get over it |
1.4037 |
0.06912 |
109 |
80 |
14 |
15 |
518 |
Personally, I'm surprised. I thought we'd get a month out of him before this would happen." |
1.4037 |
0.06401 |
109 |
76 |
22 |
11 |
519 |
It's post-apocalyptic, not dystopian. |
1.4037 |
0.06533 |
109 |
77 |
20 |
12 |
520 |
How's that protest vote feeling now? |
1.4037 |
0.06533 |
109 |
77 |
20 |
12 |
521 |
All right. You win. |
1.4037 |
0.06533 |
109 |
77 |
20 |
12 |
522 |
So much for the first 100 days! |
1.4037 |
0.06401 |
109 |
76 |
22 |
11 |
523 |
Maybe next Christmas we don't host both our families. |
1.4037 |
0.06533 |
109 |
77 |
20 |
12 |
524 |
So I said, so he won, what's the worst that could happen? |
1.4037 |
0.06912 |
109 |
80 |
14 |
15 |
525 |
My first dates usually don't go this well. |
1.4037 |
0.06267 |
109 |
75 |
24 |
10 |
526 |
I told you set the oven at 350, but noooooo.... |
1.4037 |
0.06788 |
109 |
79 |
16 |
14 |
527 |
I can make this up to you. |
1.4037 |
0.06533 |
109 |
77 |
20 |
12 |
528 |
' Illusionist overreach.' "YOU THINK? " |
1.4037 |
0.07153 |
109 |
82 |
10 |
17 |
529 |
You voted for him. |
1.4037 |
0.05990 |
109 |
73 |
28 |
8 |
530 |
I told you it was real news. |
1.4037 |
0.06130 |
109 |
74 |
26 |
9 |
531 |
You can keep the house. |
1.4037 |
0.05990 |
109 |
73 |
28 |
8 |
532 |
What do you mean not if I was the last man on earth? I am the last man on earth. |
1.4037 |
0.06533 |
109 |
77 |
20 |
12 |
533 |
Oh, that's just fake news -- we're definitely great again. |
1.4037 |
0.06401 |
109 |
76 |
22 |
11 |
534 |
Okay, I gave him a chance. Now what? |
1.4037 |
0.06130 |
109 |
74 |
26 |
9 |
535 |
So, the good news is that you are insured. |
1.4037 |
0.06130 |
109 |
74 |
26 |
9 |
536 |
That was some inauguration! |
1.4037 |
0.05990 |
109 |
73 |
28 |
8 |
537 |
Okay. You were right. |
1.4037 |
0.06661 |
109 |
78 |
18 |
13 |
538 |
Looks like one of us will have the last word after all. |
1.4037 |
0.06661 |
109 |
78 |
18 |
13 |
539 |
I'll have to check but I believe State Farm. |
1.4037 |
0.06267 |
109 |
75 |
24 |
10 |
540 |
Remind me of the things you would do if I was the last man on earth. |
1.4000 |
0.06611 |
110 |
79 |
18 |
13 |
541 |
So how long have you been on the post-apocalyptic dating site? |
1.4000 |
0.06085 |
110 |
75 |
26 |
9 |
542 |
Selfie? |
1.4000 |
0.06221 |
110 |
76 |
24 |
10 |
543 |
You just had to touch the red button. |
1.3981 |
0.06162 |
108 |
74 |
25 |
9 |
544 |
I think it's best I leave the cooking to you from now on. |
1.3981 |
0.06301 |
108 |
75 |
23 |
10 |
545 |
I'm still not sleeping with you. |
1.3981 |
0.06437 |
108 |
76 |
21 |
11 |
546 |
Those four years really flew by. |
1.3981 |
0.06700 |
108 |
78 |
17 |
13 |
547 |
I know, but what about her emails. |
1.3981 |
0.06570 |
108 |
77 |
19 |
12 |
548 |
Melania thought it was an eyesore. |
1.3981 |
0.06301 |
108 |
75 |
23 |
10 |
549 |
I don't know. What do you wanna do? |
1.3981 |
0.06301 |
108 |
75 |
23 |
10 |
550 |
Did you unplug the iron? |
1.3981 |
0.06020 |
108 |
73 |
27 |
8 |
551 |
I'm telling you, this "nuclear war" is fake news fabricated by the liberal media. |
1.3981 |
0.06828 |
108 |
79 |
15 |
14 |
552 |
I asked you not to hit control-alt-delete. |
1.3981 |
0.06301 |
108 |
75 |
23 |
10 |
553 |
Tweeting "you don't have the guts to push the button" may have been a little impulsive. |
1.3981 |
0.06570 |
108 |
77 |
19 |
12 |
554 |
Oh and I suppose Hillary would have done better. |
1.3981 |
0.06301 |
108 |
75 |
23 |
10 |
555 |
All in all, I think the Inauguration went well. |
1.3981 |
0.06162 |
108 |
74 |
25 |
9 |
556 |
Fine, but Obama is the second-worst. |
1.3981 |
0.06570 |
108 |
77 |
19 |
12 |
557 |
I think I hear the smoke alarm. |
1.3981 |
0.06162 |
108 |
74 |
25 |
9 |
558 |
The human race is in trouble; I've had a vasectomy. |
1.3981 |
0.06570 |
108 |
77 |
19 |
12 |
559 |
How about Hillary's emails though? |
1.3981 |
0.06700 |
108 |
78 |
17 |
13 |
560 |
Well, you were the one who said you wanted to start over. |
1.3981 |
0.05725 |
108 |
71 |
31 |
6 |
561 |
Don't worry. He'll Make Armageddon Great Again. |
1.3981 |
0.06828 |
108 |
79 |
15 |
14 |
562 |
Don't worry. The House republicans will rein him in any day now. |
1.3981 |
0.06828 |
108 |
79 |
15 |
14 |
563 |
Next time, don't ask them to warm up the croissant. |
1.3981 |
0.06437 |
108 |
76 |
21 |
11 |
564 |
Yes, I voted for change, why do you ask? |
1.3981 |
0.06700 |
108 |
78 |
17 |
13 |
565 |
What makes you so sure we missed the last bus? |
1.3981 |
0.06162 |
108 |
74 |
25 |
9 |
566 |
No regrets whatsoever! Have you forgotten all the emails she deleted? |
1.3981 |
0.06954 |
108 |
80 |
13 |
15 |
567 |
I'm still convinced this is just more fake news. |
1.3981 |
0.06570 |
108 |
77 |
19 |
12 |
568 |
OK, fine. I guess in hindsight her emails weren't that bad. |
1.3981 |
0.06301 |
108 |
75 |
23 |
10 |
569 |
Who knew Meryl Streep had nukes? |
1.3981 |
0.06570 |
108 |
77 |
19 |
12 |
570 |
I don't know. What do you want to do tonight? |
1.3981 |
0.05875 |
108 |
72 |
29 |
7 |
571 |
According to eHarmony, we have a lot in common. |
1.3981 |
0.06828 |
108 |
79 |
15 |
14 |
572 |
Yes I'm sure I turned the stove off! |
1.3981 |
0.05725 |
108 |
71 |
31 |
6 |
573 |
All I'm saying is you may have overreacted. |
1.3981 |
0.06162 |
108 |
74 |
25 |
9 |
574 |
Still, no. |
1.3981 |
0.06020 |
108 |
73 |
27 |
8 |
575 |
Yeah but we won. |
1.3981 |
0.06301 |
108 |
75 |
23 |
10 |
576 |
I assumed it was microwave safe. |
1.3981 |
0.06570 |
108 |
77 |
19 |
12 |
577 |
Speaking of languages, how's your Russian? |
1.3945 |
0.06254 |
109 |
76 |
23 |
10 |
578 |
So, is America Great Again yet? |
1.3945 |
0.06388 |
109 |
77 |
21 |
11 |
579 |
Do you still want to argue about who gets the house? |
1.3945 |
0.06254 |
109 |
76 |
23 |
10 |
580 |
At least we got rid of Obamacare. |
1.3945 |
0.06520 |
109 |
78 |
19 |
12 |
581 |
Well, our decluttering issue has been resolved. |
1.3925 |
0.05751 |
107 |
71 |
30 |
6 |
582 |
'Just give him a chance' you said. |
1.3925 |
0.06050 |
107 |
73 |
26 |
8 |
583 |
I guess "till death do us part" still applies. |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
584 |
I still like that he says what's on his mind, though |
1.3925 |
0.06607 |
107 |
77 |
18 |
12 |
585 |
I think the first thing we should do is repopulate the planet. |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
586 |
How was traffic? |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
587 |
This is not the change I voted for. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
588 |
Apparently we won. |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
589 |
Why is it always my fault? |
1.3925 |
0.06050 |
107 |
73 |
26 |
8 |
590 |
This would be the week I make finalist in The New Yorker reverse caption contest! |
1.3925 |
0.06996 |
107 |
80 |
12 |
15 |
591 |
Are we Great Again yet? |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
592 |
So much for the smooth transition of power..... |
1.3925 |
0.06607 |
107 |
77 |
18 |
12 |
593 |
Okay. This time maybe I did ruin everything. |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
594 |
Your rubble or mine? |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
595 |
I still want a divorce, Carl. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
596 |
I'm pretty sure we can make it great again... |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
597 |
Fine! Next time we'll call the electrician. |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
598 |
You know, it's not the end of the world. |
1.3925 |
0.06739 |
107 |
78 |
16 |
13 |
599 |
I'd hate to see a category 5 tweetstorm. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
600 |
Is America great yet? |
1.3925 |
0.06739 |
107 |
78 |
16 |
13 |
601 |
You did say if I was the last man standing.... |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
602 |
Is this a bad time to talk? |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
603 |
So...How's that "Make America Great Again" thing working out for you so far? |
1.3925 |
0.06607 |
107 |
77 |
18 |
12 |
604 |
I'm guessing we won't be seeing our luggage anytime soon.... |
1.3925 |
0.06050 |
107 |
73 |
26 |
8 |
605 |
Now you understood why you don't put metal in a microwave. |
1.3925 |
0.06739 |
107 |
78 |
16 |
13 |
606 |
On a totally different topic, how about if we let women run things for a while? |
1.3925 |
0.06739 |
107 |
78 |
16 |
13 |
607 |
I guess it depends on your definition of "great". |
1.3925 |
0.06607 |
107 |
77 |
18 |
12 |
608 |
Your hair looks particularly lovely this morning. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
609 |
You're the one who pulled my finger. |
1.3925 |
0.06739 |
107 |
78 |
16 |
13 |
610 |
You did say "if you were the last man on Earth..." |
1.3925 |
0.06739 |
107 |
78 |
16 |
13 |
611 |
You ruin everything. |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
612 |
So, how do you feel about long walks in the rain, cuddling, and hoarding canned goods? |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
613 |
Now that I really am the last man on earth, have you reconsidered? |
1.3925 |
0.06607 |
107 |
77 |
18 |
12 |
614 |
Don't look at me! I voted for Clinton! |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
615 |
Do you live around here? |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
616 |
Oh,like Hillary's first 100 days would have gone any smoother! |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
617 |
I'm just not feeling post-apocalyptic yet. |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
618 |
At least there will be no more tweets. |
1.3925 |
0.06607 |
107 |
77 |
18 |
12 |
619 |
When I said to nuke it, I meant for you to use the microwave. |
1.3925 |
0.06050 |
107 |
73 |
26 |
8 |
620 |
Now can I talk? |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
621 |
At least now we won't have to build a Wall. |
1.3925 |
0.06194 |
107 |
74 |
24 |
9 |
622 |
It's not the end of the world. |
1.3925 |
0.06335 |
107 |
75 |
22 |
10 |
623 |
Take out for dinner? |
1.3925 |
0.06739 |
107 |
78 |
16 |
13 |
624 |
Mistakes were made. |
1.3925 |
0.06472 |
107 |
76 |
20 |
11 |
625 |
Do you happen to have a harmonica? |
1.3925 |
0.06607 |
107 |
77 |
18 |
12 |
626 |
Well then, day one of the Trump Presidency wasn't so bad, eh? |
1.3925 |
0.06607 |
107 |
77 |
18 |
12 |
627 |
Yes, I am happy we're great again. |
1.3922 |
0.06705 |
102 |
73 |
18 |
11 |
628 |
I know I said I'd only date you if you are the last man on earth, but.... |
1.3889 |
0.06687 |
108 |
79 |
16 |
13 |
629 |
He'll act more presidential after the inauguration. |
1.3889 |
0.06005 |
108 |
74 |
26 |
8 |
630 |
Trump. Why do you ask? |
1.3868 |
0.06779 |
106 |
78 |
15 |
13 |
631 |
Next year, we are using my travel agent. |
1.3868 |
0.06080 |
106 |
73 |
25 |
8 |
632 |
See, I told you he personally responds to every tweet. |
1.3868 |
0.06369 |
106 |
75 |
21 |
10 |
633 |
So...is this your first stab at post-apocalyptic dating? |
1.3868 |
0.05930 |
106 |
72 |
27 |
7 |
634 |
Check twitter |
1.3868 |
0.06910 |
106 |
79 |
13 |
14 |
635 |
Yeah, but Hillary's emails. |
1.3868 |
0.06645 |
106 |
77 |
17 |
12 |
636 |
So. Are you still optimistic? |
1.3868 |
0.05930 |
106 |
72 |
27 |
7 |
637 |
Do you smell gas? |
1.3861 |
0.06129 |
101 |
69 |
25 |
7 |
638 |
Happy with your level playing field? |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
639 |
Well... THAT could have gone better. |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
640 |
Mistakes were made. |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
641 |
We haven't had an argument like that in quite a while |
1.3846 |
0.06597 |
104 |
75 |
18 |
11 |
642 |
I still feel that I need to date other women. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
643 |
Would it have killed you to have left the tag on the damn pillow? |
1.3846 |
0.06737 |
104 |
76 |
16 |
12 |
644 |
I should have voted. |
1.3846 |
0.06874 |
104 |
77 |
14 |
13 |
645 |
So I suppose you're thinking this is my fault. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
646 |
I read in your profile that nothing fazes you. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
647 |
I used to know a good Italian place near here. |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
648 |
Too bad about that typo on twitter. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
649 |
well, there goes the neighborhood. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
650 |
Did you cancel the paper? |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
651 |
Next time launch codes should be longer than a tweet. |
1.3846 |
0.06737 |
104 |
76 |
16 |
12 |
652 |
Okay, so that's decluttering done. What's step two? |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
653 |
Any chance this is fake news? |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
654 |
I don't care if I am the last man on Earth, I'm still gay. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
655 |
OK. So having both sets of in-laws come for the holidays wasn't the greatest idea. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
656 |
Okay, we're in agreement: No snakes, no apples. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
657 |
Do you live around here? |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
658 |
At least we're out of the house. |
1.3846 |
0.05685 |
104 |
69 |
30 |
5 |
659 |
There you go again. Always blowing things up out of proportion! |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
660 |
But the good news is, I finally found something that works on bedbugs. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
661 |
Next time, can I just call an electrician? |
1.3846 |
0.05847 |
104 |
70 |
28 |
6 |
662 |
I told you I thought I smelled gas. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
663 |
No thanks, I'm gay. |
1.3846 |
0.06874 |
104 |
77 |
14 |
13 |
664 |
That's the last time we invite both our families on the same night! |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
665 |
Do you still want to wait for Godot? |
1.3846 |
0.06874 |
104 |
77 |
14 |
13 |
666 |
'Just another inauguration,' you kept telling me. 'What could possibly go wrong?' |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
667 |
We were warned, yes, but it was fake warned. |
1.3846 |
0.06454 |
104 |
74 |
20 |
10 |
668 |
Satisfied? |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
669 |
Well, you said you wanted to get rid of the clutter. |
1.3846 |
0.05847 |
104 |
70 |
28 |
6 |
670 |
When you cross your arms like that I think that we're not going to re-populate the planet. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
671 |
Nobody said being great again would be easy. |
1.3846 |
0.06597 |
104 |
75 |
18 |
11 |
672 |
Maybe these intelligence briefings could have been useful, after all. |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
673 |
Didn't you wonder why the air fare was so cheap? |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
674 |
Alright, maybe Trump wasn't the best choice. |
1.3846 |
0.06597 |
104 |
75 |
18 |
11 |
675 |
Well Mr. "Just Give Trump a Chance," you're awfully quiet today. |
1.3846 |
0.06737 |
104 |
76 |
16 |
12 |
676 |
Told ya. |
1.3846 |
0.06597 |
104 |
75 |
18 |
11 |
677 |
All I'm saying is I think a cooking class could be helpful... |
1.3846 |
0.06737 |
104 |
76 |
16 |
12 |
678 |
All this because of a stupid tweet! |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
679 |
So, what did you think of the inauguration? |
1.3846 |
0.06307 |
104 |
73 |
22 |
9 |
680 |
Well, you voted for change. Happy? |
1.3846 |
0.06158 |
104 |
72 |
24 |
8 |
681 |
He thought he hit the button to send a tweet, but obviously he was wrong. |
1.3846 |
0.06737 |
104 |
76 |
16 |
12 |
682 |
Well, he did keep some parts of the Affordable Care Act. |
1.3846 |
0.06004 |
104 |
71 |
26 |
7 |
683 |
For the last time, go see a gastroenterologist. |
1.3846 |
0.06597 |
104 |
75 |
18 |
11 |
684 |
We'll get along better if we never discuss who voted for who. |
1.3832 |
0.06034 |
107 |
74 |
25 |
8 |
685 |
Let me just remind you that YOU voted for him too! |
1.3810 |
0.05958 |
105 |
72 |
26 |
7 |
686 |
Next time you think you smell gas, tell me. |
1.3810 |
0.06110 |
105 |
73 |
24 |
8 |
687 |
For my online dates, I always meet in a public place. |
1.3810 |
0.06110 |
105 |
73 |
24 |
8 |
688 |
Crazy how we keep getting set up on Match. |
1.3786 |
0.06188 |
103 |
72 |
23 |
8 |
689 |
And I suppose this is my fault isn't it? |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
690 |
If we can make it here, we can make it anywhere. |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
691 |
Okay, you can have the house. |
1.3786 |
0.06915 |
103 |
77 |
13 |
13 |
692 |
OK, next year we'll go where you want. |
1.3786 |
0.06489 |
103 |
74 |
19 |
10 |
693 |
Should we start repopulating? |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
694 |
Still, what's the worst that can happen? |
1.3786 |
0.06033 |
103 |
71 |
25 |
7 |
695 |
At least 2016 is over. |
1.3786 |
0.05873 |
103 |
70 |
27 |
6 |
696 |
Yes, there is time now, but I have a headache. |
1.3786 |
0.06188 |
103 |
72 |
23 |
8 |
697 |
It was a great apocalypse. Huge! |
1.3786 |
0.06033 |
103 |
71 |
25 |
7 |
698 |
I'll admit that my support of the Electoral College is starting to wane. |
1.3786 |
0.06188 |
103 |
72 |
23 |
8 |
699 |
Ok, I should've read the manual! |
1.3786 |
0.06033 |
103 |
71 |
25 |
7 |
700 |
We'll always have Paris... |
1.3786 |
0.06188 |
103 |
72 |
23 |
8 |
701 |
Oh what, like Hillary would have been any better? |
1.3786 |
0.06634 |
103 |
75 |
17 |
11 |
702 |
The timing may be bad, but I want a divorce. |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
703 |
Well at least America's great again. |
1.3786 |
0.06489 |
103 |
74 |
19 |
10 |
704 |
On the plus side, I was able to drop the cable company. |
1.3786 |
0.06188 |
103 |
72 |
23 |
8 |
705 |
Shiela was talking about getting a group together to reinvent the wheel. |
1.3786 |
0.06033 |
103 |
71 |
25 |
7 |
706 |
Yes, but without the internet how can I be certain you are the last man on Earth? |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
707 |
I was hoping to surprise you with dinner. |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
708 |
That's the last time I try to give the cat a pill! |
1.3786 |
0.06634 |
103 |
75 |
17 |
11 |
709 |
They said not to try it at home |
1.3786 |
0.06915 |
103 |
77 |
13 |
13 |
710 |
I always wondered what a level playing field would look like. |
1.3786 |
0.06033 |
103 |
71 |
25 |
7 |
711 |
Just what make you think I did not read the directions. |
1.3786 |
0.06776 |
103 |
76 |
15 |
12 |
712 |
Remember what you said you'd do only if I was the last man on earth. Well... |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
713 |
Did you remember to cancel the paper |
1.3786 |
0.06340 |
103 |
73 |
21 |
9 |
714 |
I like you, but not 'last night on earth' like you.' |
1.3786 |
0.06634 |
103 |
75 |
17 |
11 |
715 |
Congratulations, Agnes, you prattled on til doomsday. |
1.3786 |
0.06634 |
103 |
75 |
17 |
11 |
716 |
Well, we made it. The 0.1 per cent. |
1.3750 |
0.06436 |
104 |
75 |
19 |
10 |
717 |
Are you still a Republican? |
1.3750 |
0.06720 |
104 |
77 |
15 |
12 |
718 |
So now do you believe that elections have consequences? |
1.3750 |
0.06436 |
104 |
75 |
19 |
10 |
719 |
It doesn't seem great again. |
1.3725 |
0.06671 |
102 |
75 |
16 |
11 |
720 |
What really upsets me is that I can't find my 'Make America Great Again' cap. |
1.3725 |
0.06671 |
102 |
75 |
16 |
11 |
721 |
To think it all began with a Tweet. |
1.3725 |
0.06671 |
102 |
75 |
16 |
11 |
722 |
So, I guess that makes me the last man on earth. |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
723 |
He's been tweeting again. |
1.3725 |
0.06373 |
102 |
73 |
20 |
9 |
724 |
Okay, maybe that vote for Trump wasn't the best decision of my life ... |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
725 |
We should have sold when we had the chance. |
1.3725 |
0.06373 |
102 |
73 |
20 |
9 |
726 |
Any idea where the Dow closed today? |
1.3725 |
0.06671 |
102 |
75 |
16 |
11 |
727 |
Do you remember whether our deductible was $500 or $1,000? |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
728 |
It looked nicer in the brochure. |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
729 |
I still think couples counseling would have been worth a try. |
1.3725 |
0.05899 |
102 |
70 |
26 |
6 |
730 |
So I guess I shouldn't ask what's for dinner? |
1.3725 |
0.06671 |
102 |
75 |
16 |
11 |
731 |
At least Tinder still works. |
1.3725 |
0.05899 |
102 |
70 |
26 |
6 |
732 |
Are we eating out, again?! |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
733 |
Have you seen my "Make America great again" hat? |
1.3725 |
0.06373 |
102 |
73 |
20 |
9 |
734 |
He said he liked Putin, he didn't say Putin liked him. |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
735 |
Well, Hillary would've been worse. |
1.3725 |
0.06815 |
102 |
76 |
14 |
12 |
736 |
Still think your protest vote was worth it? |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
737 |
On the brighter side, Bernie is running in 2020! |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
738 |
Well now I AM the last man on earth, so whaddya say? |
1.3725 |
0.06373 |
102 |
73 |
20 |
9 |
739 |
Want to start a post-nuclear family? |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
740 |
Maybe this one time, we should have just gone to bed angry. |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
741 |
Don't look at me. I voted for Hillary. |
1.3725 |
0.06815 |
102 |
76 |
14 |
12 |
742 |
Otherwise, how was your day? |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
743 |
Get over it. Everybody farts. |
1.3725 |
0.06956 |
102 |
77 |
12 |
13 |
744 |
It's kind of boring with no zombies. |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
745 |
You up for repopulating the earth? |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
746 |
Well that escalated quickly. |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
747 |
So, what stage of "make America great again" is this ? |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
748 |
Your place or mine? |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
749 |
Maybe her private email server wasn't so bad after all. |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
750 |
It doesn't matter what war zone I take you to, you're never satisfied. |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
751 |
Of course I'd vote for him again. |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
752 |
I hear the Waffle House is still open. |
1.3725 |
0.06373 |
102 |
73 |
20 |
9 |
753 |
Actually, I think we are still in Kansas. |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
754 |
What a coincidence - I am the last man on earth. |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
755 |
Fake apocalypse. |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
756 |
Are we still doing brunch? |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
757 |
Is your wifi working? |
1.3725 |
0.06373 |
102 |
73 |
20 |
9 |
758 |
A smaller America will be easier to make great again. |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
759 |
On the other hand, I hear his beautiful wall is doing great. |
1.3725 |
0.06219 |
102 |
72 |
22 |
8 |
760 |
....and then the President started mocking Kim Jong Il and I turned off the TV and fell asleep. |
1.3725 |
0.06956 |
102 |
77 |
12 |
13 |
761 |
Well, it's only four years |
1.3725 |
0.06373 |
102 |
73 |
20 |
9 |
762 |
Look on the bright side... You say we never get out of the house. |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
763 |
I don't mean to brag, but I am the last man on Earth. |
1.3725 |
0.06815 |
102 |
76 |
14 |
12 |
764 |
No, I don't think we'll get our deposit back. |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
765 |
Don't give me that look. You voted for him, too. |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
766 |
I know the last thing you want to hear right now is 'I told you so.' |
1.3725 |
0.06373 |
102 |
73 |
20 |
9 |
767 |
I suppose this is somehow all my fault? |
1.3725 |
0.06815 |
102 |
76 |
14 |
12 |
768 |
This is why we can't have nice things. |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
769 |
What's a nice girl like you doing in an apocalypse like this? |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
770 |
At least he didn't have a private server |
1.3725 |
0.06815 |
102 |
76 |
14 |
12 |
771 |
No, I did not put metal in the microwave. |
1.3725 |
0.06373 |
102 |
73 |
20 |
9 |
772 |
See, I told you not to put foil in the microwave. |
1.3725 |
0.06671 |
102 |
75 |
16 |
11 |
773 |
I've decided to give up smoking. |
1.3725 |
0.06061 |
102 |
71 |
24 |
7 |
774 |
I don't know. Let's at least give him a chance. |
1.3725 |
0.06524 |
102 |
74 |
18 |
10 |
775 |
No more 5 alarm chili |
1.3689 |
0.06321 |
103 |
74 |
20 |
9 |
776 |
What do we do now that we're "great" again? |
1.3689 |
0.06758 |
103 |
77 |
14 |
12 |
777 |
I've lived in Detroit all my life. Why do you ask? |
1.3689 |
0.06321 |
103 |
74 |
20 |
9 |
778 |
Has it really been just six month since Ben Carson was confirmed? |
1.3689 |
0.07168 |
103 |
80 |
8 |
15 |
779 |
It could be Russia, it could be China, it could be Donald sitting in his bed. |
1.3689 |
0.06758 |
103 |
77 |
14 |
12 |
780 |
In retrospect I would have preferred a global warning. |
1.3689 |
0.06321 |
103 |
74 |
20 |
9 |
781 |
It's not like it's the end of the world. |
1.3689 |
0.05852 |
103 |
71 |
26 |
6 |
782 |
So, did you really mean that last-man-on-earth thing ? |
1.3689 |
0.06616 |
103 |
76 |
16 |
11 |
783 |
Well, we've been wanting to become minimalists. |
1.3689 |
0.05687 |
103 |
70 |
28 |
5 |
784 |
So, remember when you said, "Not if we were the last two people on earth?" |
1.3689 |
0.06321 |
103 |
74 |
20 |
9 |
785 |
And we never saw the tax returns. |
1.3689 |
0.06321 |
103 |
74 |
20 |
9 |
786 |
Well, I think you're overreacting. |
1.3689 |
0.06013 |
103 |
72 |
24 |
7 |
787 |
Sorry. I didn't think he'd win. |
1.3689 |
0.06758 |
103 |
77 |
14 |
12 |
788 |
Well, it was, "huuuge." |
1.3689 |
0.06321 |
103 |
74 |
20 |
9 |
789 |
How many times do I have to say it, Helen? If I could go back and change my vote, I would. |
1.3689 |
0.06169 |
103 |
73 |
22 |
8 |
790 |
So, has my one in a billion chance improved any? |
1.3689 |
0.06169 |
103 |
73 |
22 |
8 |
791 |
Our carbon footprint can only get smaller now. |
1.3689 |
0.05687 |
103 |
70 |
28 |
5 |
792 |
I blame the media |
1.3689 |
0.06470 |
103 |
75 |
18 |
10 |
793 |
I apologize. I overreacted. |
1.3689 |
0.05852 |
103 |
71 |
26 |
6 |
794 |
Care to take back that 'last man on Earth' comment? |
1.3689 |
0.06616 |
103 |
76 |
16 |
11 |
795 |
Not even if I was the last man on earth? |
1.3689 |
0.06321 |
103 |
74 |
20 |
9 |
796 |
I told you our marriage would survive. |
1.3663 |
0.05924 |
101 |
70 |
25 |
6 |
797 |
So your lawyer wasn't bluffing. |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
798 |
Now that we have cleared the air... |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
799 |
What difference does it make who left the oven on? |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
800 |
You realize, of course, that I am, in fact, the last person on earth. |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
801 |
His tweet about this ought to be really good. |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
802 |
I guess elections do have consequences. |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
803 |
Now is the time to get in. |
1.3663 |
0.06089 |
101 |
71 |
23 |
7 |
804 |
I feel like I am not getting enough credit for still being alive. |
1.3663 |
0.05924 |
101 |
70 |
25 |
6 |
805 |
But what about her emails?!! |
1.3663 |
0.06854 |
101 |
76 |
13 |
12 |
806 |
Are you happy now? |
1.3663 |
0.06089 |
101 |
71 |
23 |
7 |
807 |
The drone delivery system still has a few bugs. |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
808 |
Sorry Arnold, I just don't see a future for us. |
1.3663 |
0.06559 |
101 |
74 |
17 |
10 |
809 |
Where would you like to go for dinner? |
1.3663 |
0.05924 |
101 |
70 |
25 |
6 |
810 |
'Nothing much. What's new with you?' |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
811 |
Hottest one-night-stand I'VE every experienced! |
1.3663 |
0.06997 |
101 |
77 |
11 |
13 |
812 |
But at least he's not a career politician. |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
813 |
Okay, you're right. Happy now? |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
814 |
Trumpageddon. |
1.3663 |
0.06854 |
101 |
76 |
13 |
12 |
815 |
Martha, It could be the Russians or It could be a 400 pound guy in New Jersey. |
1.3663 |
0.06708 |
101 |
75 |
15 |
11 |
816 |
I think we should keep looking. |
1.3663 |
0.05924 |
101 |
70 |
25 |
6 |
817 |
And to think it all started with a tweet.... |
1.3663 |
0.06854 |
101 |
76 |
13 |
12 |
818 |
Well, we solved that nasty immigrant problem! |
1.3663 |
0.06708 |
101 |
75 |
15 |
11 |
819 |
What was it you said about my being the last man on earth? |
1.3663 |
0.06559 |
101 |
74 |
17 |
10 |
820 |
On the bright side, we got out of dinner with The Petersons on Saturday. |
1.3663 |
0.05924 |
101 |
70 |
25 |
6 |
821 |
"Well, it's been a blast". |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
822 |
Look what you did now, Frank. I told you not to remove the tag from the mattress. |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
823 |
Heck of a tweet, huh? |
1.3663 |
0.06559 |
101 |
74 |
17 |
10 |
824 |
I told you I was lactose intolerant. |
1.3663 |
0.06708 |
101 |
75 |
15 |
11 |
825 |
Is that a new shade of lipstick? |
1.3663 |
0.06559 |
101 |
74 |
17 |
10 |
826 |
So do I have your undivided attention now? |
1.3663 |
0.06559 |
101 |
74 |
17 |
10 |
827 |
I'm wondering if this will have an effect on the mid-term elections. |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
828 |
All I did was tweet that our neighborhood went 100% for Hillary |
1.3663 |
0.06559 |
101 |
74 |
17 |
10 |
829 |
You wanted a level playing field. |
1.3663 |
0.05213 |
101 |
66 |
33 |
2 |
830 |
So we're agreed? We tell everyone we found it like this. |
1.3663 |
0.06089 |
101 |
71 |
23 |
7 |
831 |
Alright already, yes, I should have read the instructions. |
1.3663 |
0.06708 |
101 |
75 |
15 |
11 |
832 |
So what do you think of the 2nd amendment now? |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
833 |
This is not what I imagined "Great Again" would be like. |
1.3663 |
0.06089 |
101 |
71 |
23 |
7 |
834 |
Pull my finger, he said. . . |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
835 |
Well, we finally have nothing left to talk about. |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
836 |
I guess this means your mother won't be staying with us anytime soon. |
1.3663 |
0.06089 |
101 |
71 |
23 |
7 |
837 |
Okay, okay, I should have voted for her. |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
838 |
Don't blame me. YOU voted for him. |
1.3663 |
0.06854 |
101 |
76 |
13 |
12 |
839 |
It still is a very walkable neighborhood. |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
840 |
Ah. alone at last! |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
841 |
"Are you willing to reconsider now that I actually am the last man on Earth"? |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
842 |
A transfer of power always has some glitches. |
1.3663 |
0.05924 |
101 |
70 |
25 |
6 |
843 |
Happy now? |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
844 |
Remember when I said I would not marry you if you were the last woman on earth? |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
845 |
Remember all those times you said, "Not if you were the last man on earth!"? |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
846 |
So this is great again. |
1.3663 |
0.05924 |
101 |
70 |
25 |
6 |
847 |
At least he didn't use a private e-mail server. |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
848 |
Yeah, but Hillary would've been worse. |
1.3663 |
0.06708 |
101 |
75 |
15 |
11 |
849 |
Fine, I'll say it. I'm sorry I voted for Trump. Feel better? |
1.3663 |
0.06559 |
101 |
74 |
17 |
10 |
850 |
Oops, I guess we forgot to childproof the red button. |
1.3663 |
0.06997 |
101 |
77 |
11 |
13 |
851 |
Look on the bright side. We still have each other. |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
852 |
I said not even if we were the last two people on Earth. |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
853 |
I thought he was just gonna blow up Washington. |
1.3663 |
0.06406 |
101 |
73 |
19 |
9 |
854 |
When you called me and said "there goes the neighborhood" I thought you meant.... |
1.3663 |
0.06249 |
101 |
72 |
21 |
8 |
855 |
I just tweeted that his hair looks fake. |
1.3663 |
0.06854 |
101 |
76 |
13 |
12 |
856 |
I still say I could never have voted for someone who used a private email server. |
1.3663 |
0.06559 |
101 |
74 |
17 |
10 |
857 |
But what if I WERE the last man on Earth? |
1.3636 |
0.06168 |
99 |
70 |
22 |
7 |
858 |
Would this be a good week to have your mother visit? |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
859 |
No wonder we could get tickets. |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
860 |
Yes, NOW it's appropriate to call it a meteorite. |
1.3636 |
0.06804 |
99 |
74 |
14 |
11 |
861 |
The last thing I heard him say was, "What does this shiny button do?" |
1.3636 |
0.06804 |
99 |
74 |
14 |
11 |
862 |
Well, apocalyptic change was one of his campaign promises... |
1.3636 |
0.06168 |
99 |
70 |
22 |
7 |
863 |
Why is it MY job to change the batteries in the smoke detector? |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
864 |
Now that I'm the last man on earth... |
1.3636 |
0.06494 |
99 |
72 |
18 |
9 |
865 |
You say tor-nay-do, I say tor-nah-do. |
1.3636 |
0.06494 |
99 |
72 |
18 |
9 |
866 |
Still glad you voted for Trump? |
1.3636 |
0.06804 |
99 |
74 |
14 |
11 |
867 |
Don't worry, President Trump said it wasn't the Russians |
1.3636 |
0.06804 |
99 |
74 |
14 |
11 |
868 |
If this is repeal, where is replace? |
1.3636 |
0.07100 |
99 |
76 |
10 |
13 |
869 |
Well, Is it great again? |
1.3636 |
0.06494 |
99 |
72 |
18 |
9 |
870 |
Come to think of it, I did smell gas. |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
871 |
And now we make it great again. |
1.3636 |
0.06650 |
99 |
73 |
16 |
10 |
872 |
I blame the media |
1.3636 |
0.06650 |
99 |
73 |
16 |
10 |
873 |
Okay, you're right. I should have voted for Hillary. |
1.3636 |
0.07100 |
99 |
76 |
10 |
13 |
874 |
The bus might be a little late today. |
1.3636 |
0.05824 |
99 |
68 |
26 |
5 |
875 |
When you said you wanted us to start from scratch, this is not what I thought you meant. |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
876 |
Fake news! |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
877 |
Once we get a Starbucks, this neighborhood will be very desirable. |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
878 |
Please don't say "I told you so." |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
879 |
Well, the hotel's website was accurate about being 'close to all the action'... |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
880 |
April 29, 2017 "And this was just the first 100 days." |
1.3636 |
0.06650 |
99 |
73 |
16 |
10 |
881 |
At least we were right.... |
1.3636 |
0.06494 |
99 |
72 |
18 |
9 |
882 |
I didn't know making America Great Again meant starting from scratch. |
1.3636 |
0.06650 |
99 |
73 |
16 |
10 |
883 |
I told you we should have moved to Canada! |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
884 |
Mainstream media got it wrong; Trump and Putin weren't as friendly as they thought. |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
885 |
At least we still have ObamaCare until the end of the year |
1.3636 |
0.06168 |
99 |
70 |
22 |
7 |
886 |
That was close. |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
887 |
Frankly, my life is in ruins. |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
888 |
So, want to rethink that "last man on earth" crack yet? |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
889 |
It depends how you define 'great.' |
1.3636 |
0.06494 |
99 |
72 |
18 |
9 |
890 |
Gary came by and got rid of the termites. |
1.3636 |
0.06494 |
99 |
72 |
18 |
9 |
891 |
This therapy session couldn't have come at a better time. |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
892 |
Now is the nuclear winter of our discontent. |
1.3636 |
0.06494 |
99 |
72 |
18 |
9 |
893 |
Well, at least we are out of debt. |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
894 |
Well, we'll always have Paris. |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
895 |
I assume you're going to say this is all my fault again. |
1.3636 |
0.06804 |
99 |
74 |
14 |
11 |
896 |
And that's why you're supposed to use the TV remote, the surround-sound remote, and the Roku remote in the order I taught you. |
1.3636 |
0.06650 |
99 |
73 |
16 |
10 |
897 |
No, we can't talk about this later. |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
898 |
And you said my vasectomy wouldn't be the end of the world. |
1.3636 |
0.06650 |
99 |
73 |
16 |
10 |
899 |
Apparently the fallout from his latest tweet is, you know, actual fallout. |
1.3636 |
0.06333 |
99 |
71 |
20 |
8 |
900 |
Do you regret not voting? |
1.3636 |
0.06804 |
99 |
74 |
14 |
11 |
901 |
Well at least we won! |
1.3636 |
0.06494 |
99 |
72 |
18 |
9 |
902 |
In fairness, it was my first time doing the laundry. |
1.3636 |
0.06804 |
99 |
74 |
14 |
11 |
903 |
Go on. Say it. |
1.3636 |
0.05998 |
99 |
69 |
24 |
6 |
904 |
I'd love to continue the human race with you but sorry, I think of you more as a friend. |
1.3636 |
0.06650 |
99 |
73 |
16 |
10 |
905 |
Why do you say I never notice anything? |
1.3636 |
0.06494 |
99 |
72 |
18 |
9 |
906 |
Did you remember to lock the door? |
1.3636 |
0.06168 |
99 |
70 |
22 |
7 |
907 |
Apparently, we have excellent chemistry. |
1.3608 |
0.06584 |
97 |
71 |
17 |
9 |
908 |
Of course I think we should give him another four years. |
1.3600 |
0.06745 |
100 |
75 |
14 |
11 |
909 |
Okay, you're right. Next time I'll read the instructions. |
1.3600 |
0.06745 |
100 |
75 |
14 |
11 |
910 |
It looks like Putin turned on him. |
1.3600 |
0.06893 |
100 |
76 |
12 |
12 |
911 |
Your policy insures against the “zombie apocalypse”, not a regular apocalypse. |
1.3600 |
0.06117 |
100 |
71 |
22 |
7 |
912 |
You win. |
1.3600 |
0.06117 |
100 |
71 |
22 |
7 |
913 |
I guess we should have come to D.C. before the inauguration. |
1.3600 |
0.06439 |
100 |
73 |
18 |
9 |
914 |
Well, now that I AM the last man on earth... |
1.3600 |
0.06745 |
100 |
75 |
14 |
11 |
915 |
You're blowing this way out of proportion. |
1.3600 |
0.06594 |
100 |
74 |
16 |
10 |
916 |
Well, that didn't take very long. |
1.3600 |
0.06117 |
100 |
71 |
22 |
7 |
917 |
This is going to hurt his brand. |
1.3600 |
0.06439 |
100 |
73 |
18 |
9 |
918 |
You're right. I should have removed the foil before putting it in the microwave. |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
919 |
I guess we're empty-nesters. |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
920 |
Once again, you've ruined everything. |
1.3600 |
0.06594 |
100 |
74 |
16 |
10 |
921 |
No, really. You were my absolute first choice for the last person on Earth… |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
922 |
Fortunately, my 401(K) is maintained in the cloud. |
1.3600 |
0.06117 |
100 |
71 |
22 |
7 |
923 |
It must have been the burrito. |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
924 |
Okay, I am now the last man on earth. How about it? |
1.3600 |
0.06439 |
100 |
73 |
18 |
9 |
925 |
Hillary would've been worse. |
1.3600 |
0.07038 |
100 |
77 |
10 |
13 |
926 |
I know. I know. But her e-mails . . . |
1.3600 |
0.06594 |
100 |
74 |
16 |
10 |
927 |
On the plus side, he did greatly reduce unemployment. |
1.3600 |
0.06439 |
100 |
73 |
18 |
9 |
928 |
Will your mother be joining us in our post-apocalyptic life? |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
929 |
It looked different on the resort website. |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
930 |
Gesundheit. |
1.3600 |
0.06893 |
100 |
76 |
12 |
12 |
931 |
Yeah but her emails. |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
932 |
Look on the bright side. No more tweets. |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
933 |
OK OK Hillary was a better choice. |
1.3600 |
0.06439 |
100 |
73 |
18 |
9 |
934 |
Okay, okay, you were right. I shouldn't have voted for him. |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
935 |
I told you our marriage could survive anything. |
1.3600 |
0.06117 |
100 |
71 |
22 |
7 |
936 |
At least the election is finally over. |
1.3600 |
0.06439 |
100 |
73 |
18 |
9 |
937 |
Not like it's the end of the world. |
1.3600 |
0.05949 |
100 |
70 |
24 |
6 |
938 |
Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have any Grey Poupon? |
1.3600 |
0.06280 |
100 |
72 |
20 |
8 |
939 |
Have you seen my glasses? |
1.3600 |
0.06745 |
100 |
75 |
14 |
11 |
940 |
Hi. I'm Joe. I am an alcoholic. |
1.3600 |
0.07038 |
100 |
77 |
10 |
13 |
941 |
On the bright side, there won't be anymore tweets. |
1.3600 |
0.06594 |
100 |
74 |
16 |
10 |
942 |
My wife and I drove in yesterday for the Inauguration. |
1.3600 |
0.06594 |
100 |
74 |
16 |
10 |
943 |
'You always said we had too much stuff.' |
1.3579 |
0.06509 |
95 |
69 |
18 |
8 |
944 |
Well, I hope you're happy little Miss I'm-staying-at-home-and-refuse-to-vote-for-the-lesser-of-two-evils. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
945 |
I still say the emails were the most important issue. |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
946 |
Do you still expect your mother for dinner on Tuesday? |
1.3571 |
0.06842 |
98 |
74 |
13 |
11 |
947 |
Well, we did want to spend more time alone. |
1.3571 |
0.05847 |
98 |
68 |
25 |
5 |
948 |
Well, it was great while it lasted. |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
949 |
Don't worry - they're replacing it soon with something better. |
1.3571 |
0.06842 |
98 |
74 |
13 |
11 |
950 |
You've always wanted an open floor plan. |
1.3571 |
0.06024 |
98 |
69 |
23 |
6 |
951 |
Oh stop whining! It could have been a lot worse. He could have used a private email server. |
1.3571 |
0.06842 |
98 |
74 |
13 |
11 |
952 |
OK, next time I'll vote. |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
953 |
Maybe it's not as bad as it looks. Let's wait for the tweet. |
1.3571 |
0.06994 |
98 |
75 |
11 |
12 |
954 |
Don't just say it was Russia. It could have been China or a 400-pound guy sitting on his bed. |
1.3571 |
0.06024 |
98 |
69 |
23 |
6 |
955 |
One apocalypse is not the end of the world. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
956 |
I thought there'd be zombies. |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
957 |
Before you say 'yes' or 'no,' Susan, I'd like to remind you that the alternative is human extinction. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
958 |
Sure, it may not seem important now, but I had to respond to his tweet. |
1.3571 |
0.07143 |
98 |
76 |
9 |
13 |
959 |
Happened a lot sooner than I expected |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
960 |
At least we got rid of Obamacare. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
961 |
Bless you. |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
962 |
Yeah, I know, but she mishandled her emails. |
1.3571 |
0.06686 |
98 |
73 |
15 |
10 |
963 |
He won. She lost. Get over it. |
1.3571 |
0.06842 |
98 |
74 |
13 |
11 |
964 |
What a news conference, and he isn't even President yet. |
1.3571 |
0.06994 |
98 |
75 |
11 |
12 |
965 |
Okay, you were right. Should've moved to Canada. |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
966 |
Us against the world. I distinctly remember you saying it. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
967 |
OK, maybe it was a self-indulgent vote. |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
968 |
Yes, I'm sure I got the best seats available. |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
969 |
Okay looking back maybe Trump wasn't the smartest choice... |
1.3571 |
0.06686 |
98 |
73 |
15 |
10 |
970 |
Are you reconsidering your "last man on earth" proclamation? |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
971 |
'You must be Eve' |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
972 |
I'm guessing no second date? |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
973 |
It's a bit of a fixer upper. |
1.3571 |
0.05847 |
98 |
68 |
25 |
5 |
974 |
I still want a divorce, |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
975 |
Don't look at me, I voted third-party. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
976 |
America was so overrated. Sad! |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
977 |
But no, you had to vote your conscience. |
1.3571 |
0.06842 |
98 |
74 |
13 |
11 |
978 |
I guess Trump was wrong about being Putin's friend. |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
979 |
If you didn't want to cook you should've just said |
1.3571 |
0.06024 |
98 |
69 |
23 |
6 |
980 |
And we all thought Trump and Putin were going to get along |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
981 |
Now you can say "I told you so" |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
982 |
Remember when Obama was president? |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
983 |
You're entitled to half. |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
984 |
The broker said its a neighborhood in transition... |
1.3571 |
0.06024 |
98 |
69 |
23 |
6 |
985 |
I told you Ben Carson should not be in charge of HUD |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
986 |
Somewhere, somehow, someone's blaming this on Obama. |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
987 |
You're the one who voted for change! |
1.3571 |
0.06686 |
98 |
73 |
15 |
10 |
988 |
I told you he would get the economy booming! |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
989 |
I'm sure you are going to blame this on me too, right? |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
990 |
Well they can't blame us, we didn't even vote! |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
991 |
So now that I am the last man alive on earth, will you marry me? |
1.3571 |
0.06686 |
98 |
73 |
15 |
10 |
992 |
I think you better lay low for a while, Meryl. |
1.3571 |
0.06994 |
98 |
75 |
11 |
12 |
993 |
Don't worry, I hear Mexico is going to pay for it. |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
994 |
President Trump said that the explosion was fake news so don't believe any of it. |
1.3571 |
0.06842 |
98 |
74 |
13 |
11 |
995 |
Yes, I'm wearing THIS to an armageddon. |
1.3571 |
0.06024 |
98 |
69 |
23 |
6 |
996 |
This is going to negatively affect his brand. |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
997 |
So you're the last woman on earth. |
1.3571 |
0.06994 |
98 |
75 |
11 |
12 |
998 |
What do you mean, if I didn't vote, I can't complain? |
1.3571 |
0.06024 |
98 |
69 |
23 |
6 |
999 |
Problems? Yeah. But it's not the end of the world! |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
1000 |
I guess the honeymoon's over. |
1.3571 |
0.06994 |
98 |
75 |
11 |
12 |
1001 |
You forgot to change the nuclear codes, didn't you? |
1.3571 |
0.06686 |
98 |
73 |
15 |
10 |
1002 |
Adam and Eve:The Next Generation |
1.3571 |
0.06024 |
98 |
69 |
23 |
6 |
1003 |
Well, we made it to 2017. |
1.3571 |
0.06024 |
98 |
69 |
23 |
6 |
1004 |
But the point is, we voted our conscience. |
1.3571 |
0.06686 |
98 |
73 |
15 |
10 |
1005 |
You get half. |
1.3571 |
0.06686 |
98 |
73 |
15 |
10 |
1006 |
But what about Hillary's emails? |
1.3571 |
0.07143 |
98 |
76 |
9 |
13 |
1007 |
Frankly, I liked it better before they drained the swamp. |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
1008 |
I think we need to take a harder look at the Electoral College. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
1009 |
I guess it's now up to us to make America great again. |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
1010 |
You're right. Elections matter. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
1011 |
To be fair, you did say I'm the last man on earth you'd go out with. |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
1012 |
Are we great yet? |
1.3571 |
0.06686 |
98 |
73 |
15 |
10 |
1013 |
Yeah, but she's just not likable. |
1.3571 |
0.06527 |
98 |
72 |
17 |
9 |
1014 |
You're out of excuses. I am the last man on earth. |
1.3571 |
0.06197 |
98 |
70 |
21 |
7 |
1015 |
Okay, you have my attention. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
1016 |
So much for e-harmony. |
1.3571 |
0.06364 |
98 |
71 |
19 |
8 |
1017 |
Sure, but what about her emails? |
1.3535 |
0.06471 |
99 |
73 |
17 |
9 |
1018 |
On the bright side, rebuilding the nation will bring tons of blue collar jobs. |
1.3535 |
0.06310 |
99 |
72 |
19 |
8 |
1019 |
Where was I? |
1.3505 |
0.06225 |
97 |
70 |
20 |
7 |
1020 |
So, do you think you'd vote for him, again? |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1021 |
Look on the bright side. Your mother won't be staying with us for the holidays. |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1022 |
So how to you feel now about that comment - "not if you were the last man on earth" ? |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1023 |
So.... how was your day? |
1.3505 |
0.05870 |
97 |
68 |
24 |
5 |
1024 |
You did say we needed to downsize. |
1.3505 |
0.05870 |
97 |
68 |
24 |
5 |
1025 |
Well, at least we didn't elect a woman President. |
1.3505 |
0.06880 |
97 |
74 |
12 |
11 |
1026 |
He was the lesser of two evils, Martha! |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1027 |
Or maybe it was started by a 400 lb. guy sitting in his bed. |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1028 |
Well, what do you say? I am the last man on earth. |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1029 |
I think we should stop the newspaper. |
1.3505 |
0.06050 |
97 |
69 |
22 |
6 |
1030 |
I warned you about serving me cabbage rolls. |
1.3505 |
0.06880 |
97 |
74 |
12 |
11 |
1031 |
I see you've gone with the nuclear option. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1032 |
Half-empty, I'd say. |
1.3505 |
0.06050 |
97 |
69 |
22 |
6 |
1033 |
Oh, like she would've been any better. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1034 |
I told you this would happen, but NOOOO... You said, "Let's give him a chance." |
1.3505 |
0.06722 |
97 |
73 |
14 |
10 |
1035 |
Honey, you need to lay off the Mexican food. |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1036 |
Now is the time to test out your 'not if you were the last man on earth' theory |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1037 |
Is this your virtual reality or mine? |
1.3505 |
0.05870 |
97 |
68 |
24 |
5 |
1038 |
Can I call you? |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1039 |
So you're going to blame me for this too? |
1.3505 |
0.06225 |
97 |
70 |
20 |
7 |
1040 |
All I said was it looks like you're putting on a little weight. |
1.3505 |
0.06225 |
97 |
70 |
20 |
7 |
1041 |
The service has been a little slow since the World as we knew it ended. |
1.3505 |
0.06722 |
97 |
73 |
14 |
10 |
1042 |
He just tweeted that he is still friends with Putin. |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1043 |
How many times do I have to tell you? It was a protest vote! |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1044 |
After I insulted him, I thought he would just reply on Twitter! |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1045 |
The place looked better in the brochure. |
1.3505 |
0.05684 |
97 |
67 |
26 |
4 |
1046 |
Well Eve, it looks like it's just you and me again. |
1.3505 |
0.06225 |
97 |
70 |
20 |
7 |
1047 |
I still want a divorce, |
1.3505 |
0.06225 |
97 |
70 |
20 |
7 |
1048 |
When I first heard about post-apocalyptic dating I was skeptical. |
1.3505 |
0.06050 |
97 |
69 |
22 |
6 |
1049 |
I'm guessing his latest tweet was a doozey. |
1.3505 |
0.06722 |
97 |
73 |
14 |
10 |
1050 |
So, what did you do for living? |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1051 |
I'm still not voting for a woman as president. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1052 |
Okay, you were right. It WAS the end of the world. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1053 |
I told you the elections were not the end of the world. THIS is the end of the world. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1054 |
One person left on Earth and it has to be you |
1.3505 |
0.06050 |
97 |
69 |
22 |
6 |
1055 |
Have you seen my glasses? |
1.3505 |
0.06722 |
97 |
73 |
14 |
10 |
1056 |
Yeah... But the Dow hit 50,000! |
1.3505 |
0.06880 |
97 |
74 |
12 |
11 |
1057 |
How was I supposed to know he would tweet out the nuclear codes? |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1058 |
Don't look at me, you voted for him. |
1.3505 |
0.06225 |
97 |
70 |
20 |
7 |
1059 |
Let's first acknowledge that correlation does not imply causation. |
1.3505 |
0.06050 |
97 |
69 |
22 |
6 |
1060 |
Eve? |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1061 |
So much for Putin being our friend. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1062 |
Did you leave the burner on? |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1063 |
So will you go out with me NOW? |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1064 |
It looked better in the brochure. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1065 |
Good thing we elected "a builder." |
1.3505 |
0.06050 |
97 |
69 |
22 |
6 |
1066 |
I’m sure the second week of the Trump presidency will be better. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1067 |
I bet you think this is all my fault. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1068 |
Saying you can't cook would be an understatement. |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1069 |
Now let's make it great again. |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1070 |
We wanted change and I guess we got it. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1071 |
Come on, darling. It's not the end of the world. |
1.3505 |
0.06395 |
97 |
71 |
18 |
8 |
1072 |
Any plans this weekend? |
1.3505 |
0.06050 |
97 |
69 |
22 |
6 |
1073 |
I thought your family would never leave. |
1.3505 |
0.06050 |
97 |
69 |
22 |
6 |
1074 |
So what do you want to do now? |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1075 |
But she had that email server... |
1.3505 |
0.06561 |
97 |
72 |
16 |
9 |
1076 |
Never underestimate the power of a tweet! |
1.3469 |
0.06340 |
98 |
72 |
18 |
8 |
1077 |
Why are you always so negative? |
1.3469 |
0.06171 |
98 |
71 |
20 |
7 |
1078 |
I think you overreacted. |
1.3469 |
0.05998 |
98 |
70 |
22 |
6 |
1079 |
Why, specifically, don't you believe he made America great again? |
1.3469 |
0.06663 |
98 |
74 |
14 |
10 |
1080 |
The brochure said ruins; it didn't say old ruins. |
1.3469 |
0.06171 |
98 |
71 |
20 |
7 |
1081 |
Well, how was he supposed to respond to a Tweet like that? |
1.3438 |
0.06758 |
96 |
73 |
13 |
10 |
1082 |
I swear, if you say 'I told you so...' |
1.3438 |
0.06075 |
96 |
69 |
21 |
6 |
1083 |
It could be worse, it could be raining. |
1.3438 |
0.06075 |
96 |
69 |
21 |
6 |
1084 |
You were the one who said: "Vote for him. What do we have to lose?" |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1085 |
What do you say now that I am the last man? |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1086 |
It's an open floor plan. |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1087 |
So, thats a no? |
1.3438 |
0.05702 |
96 |
67 |
25 |
4 |
1088 |
Somehow, "We still have each other" doesn't quite cut it. |
1.3438 |
0.06075 |
96 |
69 |
21 |
6 |
1089 |
The agent said it's a great place to raze a family. |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1090 |
Well I'm not cleaning it up... |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1091 |
Yes, I still want the divorce. |
1.3438 |
0.06075 |
96 |
69 |
21 |
6 |
1092 |
There's just not much left for us to talk about |
1.3438 |
0.06075 |
96 |
69 |
21 |
6 |
1093 |
Okay, you were right. I was wrong. Must we fight about this for the next 4 years? |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1094 |
I told you the new president won't affect my life and I'm sticking to it. |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1095 |
Well at least I got rid of the termites. |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1096 |
This is the last time you get to pick a President.... |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1097 |
It may not seem it, Delores, but I try to use my powers for good. |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1098 |
I knew Obama should have taken the nuclear codes with him. |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1099 |
Yeah, but her emails, though... |
1.3438 |
0.06758 |
96 |
73 |
13 |
10 |
1100 |
I'm starting to regret voting for Trump |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1101 |
Well that certainly takes care of the immigration issue. |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1102 |
The dating site said you like kittens, quiet walks on the beach and Armageddon. |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1103 |
I wonder if this means we get to keep the library books. |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1104 |
You just HAD to push the red button, didn't you? |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1105 |
Do you still want half? |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1106 |
I rather expected this, but not so soon after the Inauguration. |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1107 |
We may be in the middle of a real estate boom. |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1108 |
...you renewed the insurance policy, right? |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1109 |
I told you it would take global annihilation for him to stop tweeting! |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1110 |
What were we arguing about again? |
1.3438 |
0.05892 |
96 |
68 |
23 |
5 |
1111 |
At least he didn't use a private e-mail server. |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1112 |
Okay, it's 2:00, should we start the meeting or wait for the others? |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1113 |
Have you seen my keys? |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1114 |
Have you changed your mind, now that I am in fact the last man on Earth? |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1115 |
And on the second day of my administration.... |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1116 |
Now that I am the last man on earth, I take it your position has not changed? |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1117 |
Not much. How 'bout you? |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1118 |
I followed the instructions to install it. Mostly. |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1119 |
'Let's go to your place instead' |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1120 |
You have smoldering eyes... |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1121 |
'Only if you were the last man on earth' is a figure of speech! |
1.3438 |
0.07075 |
96 |
75 |
9 |
12 |
1122 |
Do you think all Trump news conferences will end like this one? |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1123 |
I told you not to run the vacuum and the washer at the same time. |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1124 |
Looks like we're ALL fired! |
1.3438 |
0.05892 |
96 |
68 |
23 |
5 |
1125 |
" The radiation gives your face a pleasant glow". |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1126 |
Do you really need to see the prenup, Ted? |
1.3438 |
0.06758 |
96 |
73 |
13 |
10 |
1127 |
Are you doing anything Friday evening? |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1128 |
I think he actually thought it was a real football. |
1.3438 |
0.06253 |
96 |
70 |
19 |
7 |
1129 |
And you thought his inauguration would be boring |
1.3438 |
0.06594 |
96 |
72 |
15 |
9 |
1130 |
Now we know what that button was for. |
1.3438 |
0.06426 |
96 |
71 |
17 |
8 |
1131 |
I can see Russia from my house. |
1.3402 |
0.06535 |
97 |
73 |
15 |
9 |
1132 |
That went well. |
1.3402 |
0.06369 |
97 |
72 |
17 |
8 |
1133 |
The brochure did say it was a no frills vacation. |
1.3402 |
0.05841 |
97 |
69 |
23 |
5 |
1134 |
Don't look at me. I wrote in Mitt Romney. |
1.3402 |
0.06369 |
97 |
72 |
17 |
8 |
1135 |
How is this is my fault? |
1.3402 |
0.06022 |
97 |
70 |
21 |
6 |
1136 |
'What's the worst that can happen if we vote for Trump?'" THAT was your question??? |
1.3402 |
0.06698 |
97 |
74 |
13 |
10 |
1137 |
If you’re free on Saturday, we should probably start repopulating the earth. |
1.3402 |
0.05841 |
97 |
69 |
23 |
5 |
1138 |
Looks like we won't have to build that wall after all. |
1.3402 |
0.05841 |
97 |
69 |
23 |
5 |
1139 |
My sister said they still have a tree in Cleveland. |
1.3402 |
0.06369 |
97 |
72 |
17 |
8 |
1140 |
Still glad we gave him a chance? |
1.3402 |
0.06369 |
97 |
72 |
17 |
8 |
1141 |
Where'd our waiter go? |
1.3402 |
0.06022 |
97 |
70 |
21 |
6 |
1142 |
Did you remember to lock the door? |
1.3402 |
0.06022 |
97 |
70 |
21 |
6 |
1143 |
I'm just glad the election's over. |
1.3402 |
0.06698 |
97 |
74 |
13 |
10 |
1144 |
I hope you're satisfied now that America is great again. |
1.3402 |
0.06535 |
97 |
73 |
15 |
9 |
1145 |
Fix your make up. CNN will be here any minute. |
1.3402 |
0.05841 |
97 |
69 |
23 |
5 |
1146 |
Compared to 2017, 2016 wasn't so bad. |
1.3402 |
0.06535 |
97 |
73 |
15 |
9 |
1147 |
Were you born here in Detroit? |
1.3402 |
0.06856 |
97 |
75 |
11 |
11 |
1148 |
You have a certain glow about you. |
1.3402 |
0.06535 |
97 |
73 |
15 |
9 |
1149 |
I am voting to "Make America again" |
1.3402 |
0.06369 |
97 |
72 |
17 |
8 |
1150 |
Well, that simplifies things. |
1.3402 |
0.05654 |
97 |
68 |
25 |
4 |
1151 |
Really? You're going with, "Even if you were the last man on earth?" |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1152 |
Fine, you plan the next vacation. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1153 |
So, Sister Kathleen, I guess the human race stops here. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1154 |
I still say it would have been worse if Hillary had won. |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1155 |
Did you remember to turn off the gas? |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1156 |
Do you think this will affect the bus schedule? |
1.3368 |
0.06957 |
95 |
74 |
10 |
11 |
1157 |
You voted for him. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1158 |
Maybe location isn't everything... |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1159 |
Well, it looks like the fat lady has sung. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1160 |
Tell me again how the emails would have been worse. |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1161 |
The good news is........ I have started to see someone to discuss my anger issues. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1162 |
I thought he said he knew more than the generals. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1163 |
Don't say it |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1164 |
OK: We got under our desks. We put our arms over our heads. We did not look at the flash. Now what? |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1165 |
I thought you told me that losing my job is not the end of the world. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1166 |
Honestly, I though the inauguration went offer much better than expected. |
1.3368 |
0.06957 |
95 |
74 |
10 |
11 |
1167 |
well, there goes the neighborhood. |
1.3368 |
0.05720 |
95 |
67 |
24 |
4 |
1168 |
The brochure said there'd be ruins. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1169 |
but her email server... |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1170 |
Do you really want to talk about this now? |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1171 |
As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted... |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1172 |
I said 'Lunch', not 'Launch'. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1173 |
I know this isn't the best time to say this, Harriet, but I want a divorce. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1174 |
Next time we vote Democrat. |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1175 |
Well, at least he didn't use his own e-mail server. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1176 |
At least the views are unobstructed. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1177 |
Well I guess it could be worse. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1178 |
Now you can tell your mother we don't have room! |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1179 |
Now I can give you the really bad news. |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1180 |
I can't remember if I closed the garage door. |
1.3368 |
0.05720 |
95 |
67 |
24 |
4 |
1181 |
I'm loyal, witty, and the last man on earth. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1182 |
What else was on your bucket list? |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1183 |
Glad the election's over. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1184 |
You were the one who wanted to switch to gas! |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1185 |
How was I supposed to know it wasn't a computer game? |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1186 |
Is this "de-cluttered" enough for you? |
1.3368 |
0.05521 |
95 |
66 |
26 |
3 |
1187 |
OK, but she lied about her emails! |
1.3368 |
0.06957 |
95 |
74 |
10 |
11 |
1188 |
Might as well introduce ourselves - I'm Destiny and I'm an alcoholic. |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1189 |
Ironically enough, my name is Adam. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1190 |
All the good restaurants are gone. |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1191 |
A penny for your thoughts. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1192 |
Now that you ARE the last person on earth, I still won't marry you. |
1.3368 |
0.07116 |
95 |
75 |
8 |
12 |
1193 |
No, you said it couldn't possibly get any worse. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1194 |
....and how many more years is he going to be President? |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1195 |
I never knew the difference between apocalypse and dystopia, till I married you. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1196 |
And just who am I supposed to ask for these so-called "directions"? |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1197 |
Yeah, but Hillary had emails. |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1198 |
On a good note, he promised to rebuild infrastructure |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1199 |
Do you come here often? |
1.3368 |
0.05913 |
95 |
68 |
22 |
5 |
1200 |
I never vote. It doesn't affect my life. |
1.3368 |
0.06957 |
95 |
74 |
10 |
11 |
1201 |
I'd like to end things |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1202 |
Is that your second wish or your third? |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1203 |
I'm happier now that we've uncluttered. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1204 |
The sunrise tomorrow will be spectacular! |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1205 |
Okay Marjorie, you hunt and I'll gather but do you really think the glass ceiling should be our priority right now? |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1206 |
O.K. So, now I am the last man on earth. Will you change your mind? |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1207 |
Well, it looks as though I AM the last man on Earth. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1208 |
Well, so much for "let's give him a chance". |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1209 |
I can already feel it starting to gentrify. |
1.3368 |
0.05913 |
95 |
68 |
22 |
5 |
1210 |
In his defense, you did make fun of his tiny hands. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1211 |
Relax, Sylvia. Things always get worse before they get great again. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1212 |
Yes, dear. In hindsight, I should have stopped using my Galaxy Note 7. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1213 |
So .... what's new? |
1.3368 |
0.05913 |
95 |
68 |
22 |
5 |
1214 |
And what about if I wasn't the last man on earth ? |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1215 |
So that’s what happens when you remove tags that say, ‘Do not remove.’ |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1216 |
Well, at least we don't have to argue over who gets the house now... |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1217 |
Even if the future of the human race literally depends on it? |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1218 |
I guess I was angrier than I realized. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1219 |
So, now that I AM the last man on Earth... |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1220 |
I guess Trump really showed Kim Jong Un! |
1.3368 |
0.06957 |
95 |
74 |
10 |
11 |
1221 |
Repeat after me - 'America is Great Again' |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1222 |
I wonder if The Wall is still standing? |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1223 |
check out was at eleven anyway |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1224 |
You know when you said "not even if we were the last two people on Earth"? |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1225 |
I liked the book better |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1226 |
It's still a quiet street. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1227 |
I suppose it depends on your definition of "Great" |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1228 |
Ironically, it looks like Twitter is still working... |
1.3368 |
0.05521 |
95 |
66 |
26 |
3 |
1229 |
That was a close one |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1230 |
Can I have the remote? |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1231 |
Is it too late for a reverse mortgage? |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1232 |
Well, it is called a reverse mortgage. |
1.3368 |
0.05913 |
95 |
68 |
22 |
5 |
1233 |
Okay, you got that out of your system, now what? |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1234 |
Alexa: Call 9-1-1. |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1235 |
Will you go out with me now that I AM the last man on earth? |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1236 |
I knew we should have voted but you said, what's the worst that could happen. |
1.3368 |
0.07116 |
95 |
75 |
8 |
12 |
1237 |
I don't care how big that spider was. This is ridiculous. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1238 |
But on the plus side, everything we now own gives us joy. |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1239 |
The name's Adam. And yours? |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1240 |
Well! I'm never pulling *your* finger again! |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1241 |
These aren't the ruins I had in mind. |
1.3368 |
0.05913 |
95 |
68 |
22 |
5 |
1242 |
No. I said NOT even if you were the last man on earth. |
1.3368 |
0.06794 |
95 |
73 |
12 |
10 |
1243 |
I'll be Fred and you be Wilma. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1244 |
That's the last time we use TripAdvisor. |
1.3368 |
0.06627 |
95 |
72 |
14 |
9 |
1245 |
Maybe Obama wasn't so bad after all. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1246 |
So NOW you want to talk? |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1247 |
So much for our reverse mortgage. |
1.3368 |
0.05913 |
95 |
68 |
22 |
5 |
1248 |
Think of all the beautiful sunrises and sunsets we'll see without all those buildings in the way. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1249 |
So why don't we start by exploring the origin of your anger. |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1250 |
What do you say, shall we start re-populating? |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1251 |
So remind me when we're going to start to "Make America Great Again?" |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1252 |
YES! I VOTED FOR HIM ! |
1.3368 |
0.07272 |
95 |
76 |
6 |
13 |
1253 |
Now are you sorry you didn't vote? |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1254 |
It could have been worse |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1255 |
I think I'll work from home tomorrow. |
1.3368 |
0.05913 |
95 |
68 |
22 |
5 |
1256 |
Did you have any trouble with the directions? |
1.3368 |
0.06456 |
95 |
71 |
16 |
8 |
1257 |
I still think she shouldn't have used a private server. |
1.3368 |
0.06957 |
95 |
74 |
10 |
11 |
1258 |
Talk about an empty nest. |
1.3368 |
0.05521 |
95 |
66 |
26 |
3 |
1259 |
On the plus side, he kept his word about lower taxes. |
1.3368 |
0.06280 |
95 |
70 |
18 |
7 |
1260 |
Just give him a chance. |
1.3368 |
0.06099 |
95 |
69 |
20 |
6 |
1261 |
Remember when I said I wouldn't sleep with you if we were the last two people on Earth? |
1.3368 |
0.05913 |
95 |
68 |
22 |
5 |
1262 |
Elections have consequences. |
1.3333 |
0.06046 |
96 |
70 |
20 |
6 |
1263 |
Well, he still has three years and 364 days to make America great! |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1264 |
Yes, Honey, next time I'll call a plumber. |
1.3333 |
0.06546 |
93 |
70 |
15 |
8 |
1265 |
Sure, but SHE had an e-mail server! |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1266 |
Anything else you've been holding back? |
1.3333 |
0.06224 |
96 |
71 |
18 |
7 |
1267 |
Aren't you glad now we didn't spend the money for the kitchen remodel? |
1.3333 |
0.05788 |
93 |
66 |
23 |
4 |
1268 |
See, I told you there'd be a place to sit. |
1.3333 |
0.05987 |
93 |
67 |
21 |
5 |
1269 |
I had better hope for his first 100 days. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1270 |
That last Tweet was a doozy. |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1271 |
Well, now I'm the last man on earth. Your move. |
1.3333 |
0.06893 |
96 |
75 |
10 |
11 |
1272 |
Buy in Kabul, you said. Change of scenery, you said. |
1.3333 |
0.06224 |
96 |
71 |
18 |
7 |
1273 |
I guess I've always considered myself a 'glass half full' guy. |
1.3333 |
0.05671 |
96 |
68 |
24 |
4 |
1274 |
So, where are you from? |
1.3333 |
0.06567 |
96 |
73 |
14 |
9 |
1275 |
When I started out it was simply my intent to declutter. |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1276 |
I told you we didn't need a retirement account or health insurance. |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1277 |
Well, at least we got Obamacare repealed first. |
1.3333 |
0.06546 |
93 |
70 |
15 |
8 |
1278 |
They did say we'd see plenty of ruins. |
1.3333 |
0.06046 |
96 |
70 |
20 |
6 |
1279 |
I hope your Trump Twitter joke was worth it. |
1.3333 |
0.06894 |
93 |
72 |
11 |
10 |
1280 |
The Times described it as "Airy" and "Unpretentious". |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1281 |
We should get together for coffee sometime. |
1.3333 |
0.05987 |
93 |
67 |
21 |
5 |
1282 |
Yes, it was repealed, now we await the replacement. |
1.3333 |
0.06567 |
96 |
73 |
14 |
9 |
1283 |
Okay, you were right about Trump. Sorry. |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1284 |
So it's true what you said about if I was the last man on Earth? |
1.3333 |
0.06567 |
96 |
73 |
14 |
9 |
1285 |
That's the last toaster I get from Walmart. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1286 |
So much for making American great again. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1287 |
Are you free for lunch? |
1.3333 |
0.05987 |
93 |
67 |
21 |
5 |
1288 |
So America is great again, now what? |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1289 |
Are you interviewing for the Housing and Urban Development job too? |
1.3333 |
0.05987 |
93 |
67 |
21 |
5 |
1290 |
How was your weekend? |
1.3333 |
0.05987 |
93 |
67 |
21 |
5 |
1291 |
Should we get take-out? |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1292 |
Civilization is overrated. |
1.3333 |
0.05987 |
93 |
67 |
21 |
5 |
1293 |
I'm just ONE VOTE, Marjorie. You're not going to pin all of this on me. |
1.3333 |
0.07062 |
93 |
73 |
9 |
11 |
1294 |
Told ya. |
1.3333 |
0.06732 |
96 |
74 |
12 |
10 |
1295 |
On the bright side, now he can bring back construction jobs |
1.3333 |
0.06046 |
96 |
70 |
20 |
6 |
1296 |
There may be some lingering resentment. |
1.3333 |
0.06046 |
96 |
70 |
20 |
6 |
1297 |
Ha! Looks like your mother won't be moving in, after all. |
1.3333 |
0.06224 |
96 |
71 |
18 |
7 |
1298 |
Shall we order out? |
1.3333 |
0.06046 |
96 |
70 |
20 |
6 |
1299 |
So, you were saying, if I were the last man in earth what...? |
1.3333 |
0.06398 |
96 |
72 |
16 |
8 |
1300 |
So... what's for dinner. |
1.3333 |
0.06046 |
96 |
70 |
20 |
6 |
1301 |
They say he's a genius at business |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1302 |
I think we need to change travel agents. |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1303 |
Now, there you go again, blowing things out of proportion. |
1.3333 |
0.05861 |
96 |
69 |
22 |
5 |
1304 |
I personally think our first date was a blast. |
1.3333 |
0.05987 |
93 |
67 |
21 |
5 |
1305 |
Pizza OK tonight? |
1.3333 |
0.06894 |
93 |
72 |
11 |
10 |
1306 |
Now repeat after me: Never put foil in the microwave. |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1307 |
Remember how you said you will never be with me unless I was the last man on earth |
1.3333 |
0.06732 |
96 |
74 |
12 |
10 |
1308 |
Should we get take-out? |
1.3333 |
0.05583 |
93 |
65 |
25 |
3 |
1309 |
Fine, I respect your decision. But what if I was the last man on Earth? |
1.3333 |
0.06398 |
96 |
72 |
16 |
8 |
1310 |
Yeah, but what about her emails? |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1311 |
I told you that cat was trouble. |
1.3333 |
0.06546 |
93 |
70 |
15 |
8 |
1312 |
Is it January 21st already? |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1313 |
Oh, so now he's MY son? |
1.3333 |
0.06894 |
93 |
72 |
11 |
10 |
1314 |
Still, that went better than expected. |
1.3333 |
0.05987 |
93 |
67 |
21 |
5 |
1315 |
You microwaved the popcorn on the baked potato setting again, didn't you? |
1.3333 |
0.06398 |
96 |
72 |
16 |
8 |
1316 |
I don't care if we are the last two people on earth. |
1.3333 |
0.05788 |
93 |
66 |
23 |
4 |
1317 |
I had a feeling January 21st was a bad choice for our first date. |
1.3333 |
0.05987 |
93 |
67 |
21 |
5 |
1318 |
At least we voted our conscience. |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1319 |
No, I did not leave the gas on. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1320 |
On the plus side, the inauguration speech was better than I expected. |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1321 |
You were right, OK? No silverware in the microwave. |
1.3333 |
0.06398 |
96 |
72 |
16 |
8 |
1322 |
I said you take me "too seriously" not "to Syria." |
1.3333 |
0.06546 |
93 |
70 |
15 |
8 |
1323 |
well that was close! |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1324 |
You are ignoring the fact that our tax rates are now lower. |
1.3333 |
0.06567 |
96 |
73 |
14 |
9 |
1325 |
At least we gave him a chance. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1326 |
It will be great again. Just wait. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1327 |
You know, I think it was worth it for that brief moment when we were great again. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1328 |
Don't be so negative. He says he has a plan. |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1329 |
I TOLD you not to remove that tag. |
1.3333 |
0.06723 |
93 |
71 |
13 |
9 |
1330 |
Well someone left the gas on. |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1331 |
When I said 'not even if you were the last man on earth' I meant it. |
1.3333 |
0.06894 |
93 |
72 |
11 |
10 |
1332 |
Well now that I really am the last man on earth, will you marry me? |
1.3333 |
0.06732 |
96 |
74 |
12 |
10 |
1333 |
Let's take another 15 minutes for lunch. I'm pretty sure my boss is out for the afternoon. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1334 |
I know we've just met, but I feel it's fate. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1335 |
So...What brings you here? |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1336 |
I told you I couldn't cook |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1337 |
I enjoy long walks through the rubble |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1338 |
Now you're going to say this isn't the change you had in mind. |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1339 |
First, you make it here. Then, you make it anywhere. |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1340 |
Even if I were the last man on Earth? |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1341 |
I really thought he would be better than Hillary. |
1.3333 |
0.05788 |
93 |
66 |
23 |
4 |
1342 |
Alright, now I am the last man on Earth. |
1.3333 |
0.06398 |
96 |
72 |
16 |
8 |
1343 |
Stop overreacting |
1.3333 |
0.06365 |
93 |
69 |
17 |
7 |
1344 |
Well, at least he got rid of Obamacare! |
1.3333 |
0.06732 |
96 |
74 |
12 |
10 |
1345 |
Did we win? |
1.3333 |
0.06179 |
93 |
68 |
19 |
6 |
1346 |
But I AM the only man left in the world, Agnes. |
1.3333 |
0.05671 |
96 |
68 |
24 |
4 |
1347 |
I'm glad we worked that out. |
1.3333 |
0.06894 |
93 |
72 |
11 |
10 |
1348 |
Without a bona fide address, we cannot summit your insurance claim. |
1.3261 |
0.06203 |
92 |
68 |
18 |
6 |
1349 |
You don't look like your profile picture. |
1.3261 |
0.06203 |
92 |
68 |
18 |
6 |
1350 |
I could swear that red button said PUSH FOR LUNCH. |
1.3261 |
0.06756 |
92 |
71 |
12 |
9 |
1351 |
Did you say you would date me if I were the last man on earth? |
1.3261 |
0.06577 |
92 |
70 |
14 |
8 |
1352 |
I'm just not sure this is what the book meant by decluttering. |
1.3261 |
0.06393 |
92 |
69 |
16 |
7 |
1353 |
The ad did say "Fixer Upper". |
1.3261 |
0.06008 |
92 |
67 |
20 |
5 |
1354 |
I DID follow the instructions! |
1.3261 |
0.06008 |
92 |
67 |
20 |
5 |
1355 |
I'm sorry, but your disaster insurance doesn't cover presidential elections. |
1.3261 |
0.06393 |
92 |
69 |
16 |
7 |
1356 |
Well at least we don't have to have your mother over anymore. |
1.3261 |
0.06203 |
92 |
68 |
18 |
6 |
1357 |
How long are you going to hold my vote for Trump against me? |
1.3261 |
0.06393 |
92 |
69 |
16 |
7 |
1358 |
Who said downsizing was difficult ? |
1.3261 |
0.06203 |
92 |
68 |
18 |
6 |
1359 |
Where's the remote? |
1.3261 |
0.06203 |
92 |
68 |
18 |
6 |
1360 |
Did you feel the earth move? |
1.3261 |
0.06008 |
92 |
67 |
20 |
5 |
1361 |
You take everything I say and blow it out of proportion! |
1.3261 |
0.06393 |
92 |
69 |
16 |
7 |
1362 |
As a matter of fact, I AM the last man on earth. |
1.3261 |
0.06008 |
92 |
67 |
20 |
5 |
1363 |
As I was saying before all hell broke loose... |
1.3261 |
0.06577 |
92 |
70 |
14 |
8 |
1364 |
No more baked beans for me. |
1.3261 |
0.07101 |
92 |
73 |
8 |
11 |
1365 |
Delicately put, it looks like it's up to us to...you know.... |
1.3261 |
0.06577 |
92 |
70 |
14 |
8 |
1366 |
I just wanted change. |
1.3261 |
0.06203 |
92 |
68 |
18 |
6 |
1367 |
Come now, you can't possibly be thinking my one vote makes me personally responsible for all this! |
1.3261 |
0.06008 |
92 |
67 |
20 |
5 |
1368 |
I've lost all my passwords. |
1.3261 |
0.06393 |
92 |
69 |
16 |
7 |
1369 |
My bad, I thought you said you would date me if I was the last man on earth. |
1.3261 |
0.06756 |
92 |
71 |
12 |
9 |
1370 |
Yeah, but what about her emails? |
1.3261 |
0.06393 |
92 |
69 |
16 |
7 |
1371 |
We can still turn this around in the midterms. |
1.3261 |
0.06931 |
92 |
72 |
10 |
10 |
1372 |
So what do you think about Trump after one day in office? |
1.3261 |
0.06756 |
92 |
71 |
12 |
9 |
1373 |
About what I expected for Trump's first month. |
1.3261 |
0.06756 |
92 |
71 |
12 |
9 |
1374 |
OK fine, maybe I shouldn't have voted for him. |
1.3261 |
0.06203 |
92 |
68 |
18 |
6 |
1375 |
Not if you were the last man on earth. |
1.3261 |
0.06393 |
92 |
69 |
16 |
7 |
1376 |
I guess this is why the tickets for Trumpworld were half the price of Westworld. |
1.3261 |
0.06756 |
92 |
71 |
12 |
9 |
1377 |
So, shall we get started? The planet's not going to repopulate itself! |
1.3261 |
0.06577 |
92 |
70 |
14 |
8 |
1378 |
Our marriage is the real disaster. |
1.3261 |
0.06756 |
92 |
71 |
12 |
9 |
1379 |
Next time call an electrician. |
1.3261 |
0.06577 |
92 |
70 |
14 |
8 |
1380 |
Looks like the divorce is final. |
1.3261 |
0.06577 |
92 |
70 |
14 |
8 |
1381 |
Maybe Mexico will pay for the rebuilding. |
1.3261 |
0.06008 |
92 |
67 |
20 |
5 |
1382 |
It's pronounced nuclear not "nuke-you-ler"! |
1.3261 |
0.06393 |
92 |
69 |
16 |
7 |
1383 |
I still feel like we didn't get to the bottom of those emails... |
1.3261 |
0.06577 |
92 |
70 |
14 |
8 |
1384 |
At least there's no more Mexicans. |
1.3261 |
0.06577 |
92 |
70 |
14 |
8 |
1385 |
Can we try it my way now? |
1.3261 |
0.06203 |
92 |
68 |
18 |
6 |
1386 |
Did you leave the stove on again? |
1.3261 |
0.06393 |
92 |
69 |
16 |
7 |
1387 |
So, now that I am The Last Man On Earth, whaddaya say? |
1.3261 |
0.06756 |
92 |
71 |
12 |
9 |
1388 |
Okay, next year we can visit your family. |
1.3261 |
0.06203 |
92 |
68 |
18 |
6 |
1389 |
OK, OK, you were right. Now are you happy? |
1.3261 |
0.06577 |
92 |
70 |
14 |
8 |
1390 |
you win, Chinese tonight |
1.3261 |
0.06756 |
92 |
71 |
12 |
9 |
1391 |
Our therapist just cancelled. |
1.3226 |
0.06146 |
93 |
69 |
18 |
6 |
1392 |
Would you if I were the last man in the world? |
1.3226 |
0.06693 |
93 |
72 |
12 |
9 |
1393 |
OK, I'll admit it. I am kind of sorry I voted for him. |
1.3187 |
0.05608 |
91 |
65 |
23 |
3 |
1394 |
Okay. I admit that I might have underestimated the damage he could do to our country. |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1395 |
Hillary would've been worse. |
1.3187 |
0.06790 |
91 |
71 |
11 |
9 |
1396 |
I thought Putin liked him. |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1397 |
So, what are you doing after the Apocalypse? |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1398 |
It all started with a tweet. |
1.3187 |
0.06608 |
91 |
70 |
13 |
8 |
1399 |
Stop saying, "I told you so." |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1400 |
He thought he was tweeting. |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1401 |
But her e-mails... |
1.3187 |
0.06967 |
91 |
72 |
9 |
10 |
1402 |
Well, I hate to say I told you so. |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1403 |
As of 5 minutes ago, I am the last man on earth. Now will you marry me? |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1404 |
Does this mean you've done nothing for dinner? |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1405 |
Maybe you and he just define "great again" differently. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1406 |
For the last time, I didn't vote for him! |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1407 |
This set, AND an X-rated script? Seriously? |
1.3187 |
0.07141 |
91 |
73 |
7 |
11 |
1408 |
Look, I'm not the only one who voted for him. |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1409 |
Next time you book a vacation, please clarify what "off season" means. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1410 |
So NOW you want to talk? |
1.3187 |
0.06790 |
91 |
71 |
11 |
9 |
1411 |
OK, so I forgot where I parked. It's not like it's the end of the world. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1412 |
We just can't afford to abandon a rent-controlled apartment. |
1.3187 |
0.05822 |
91 |
66 |
21 |
4 |
1413 |
We will both laugh about this when we read the captions. |
1.3187 |
0.06608 |
91 |
70 |
13 |
8 |
1414 |
A new year, a clean start! |
1.3187 |
0.06608 |
91 |
70 |
13 |
8 |
1415 |
See? A child must have clear limits. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1416 |
I suppose this is my fault, too. |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1417 |
I must say this has been my most exciting date in a long while. How about we walk on over to what's left of the cinema? |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1418 |
You asked for unobstructed views. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1419 |
Well, Martha, I'm literally the last man on earth now. Time to call your bluff. |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1420 |
What's it gonna take to admit you were wrong? |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1421 |
Just for once, can we argue without you going for the nuclear option? |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1422 |
Now do you believe me that 20 minutes in the microwave is too much?! |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1423 |
OK, OK. I'm sorry I voted for Donald Trump. There - are you happy now? |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1424 |
I think our arguments are becoming too heated. |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1425 |
And over there used to be the Trump Tower. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1426 |
Well, so much for "Don't worry. The country has survived much worse." |
1.3187 |
0.05822 |
91 |
66 |
21 |
4 |
1427 |
Thank God we got rid of Obamacare |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1428 |
I don't need to fix that leak after all. |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1429 |
The view is unobstructed. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1430 |
I guess that dinner and a movie are out. |
1.3187 |
0.05822 |
91 |
66 |
21 |
4 |
1431 |
Sorry. I didn't mean to blow up like that. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1432 |
NOW can we ask for directions? |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1433 |
So...do you know why you're in a time-out? |
1.3187 |
0.05608 |
91 |
65 |
23 |
3 |
1434 |
You said you'd only date me if I was the last man on Earth. |
1.3187 |
0.05822 |
91 |
66 |
21 |
4 |
1435 |
There's no one else but you. |
1.3187 |
0.05822 |
91 |
66 |
21 |
4 |
1436 |
Ikea will deliver the table tomorrow between noon and 6 PM. |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1437 |
I'm willing to give you half of the house. |
1.3187 |
0.06608 |
91 |
70 |
13 |
8 |
1438 |
I told the Uber driver that we were waiting outside Trump Tower. Do you think we need to call him again? |
1.3187 |
0.06608 |
91 |
70 |
13 |
8 |
1439 |
See? Swamp drained. |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1440 |
Trump won Get over it. |
1.3187 |
0.06790 |
91 |
71 |
11 |
9 |
1441 |
Well, that’s one way to drain the swamp. |
1.3187 |
0.06608 |
91 |
70 |
13 |
8 |
1442 |
I know we don't agree on much politically...but I for one preferred the "nuclear option" as a metaphor. |
1.3187 |
0.06967 |
91 |
72 |
9 |
10 |
1443 |
Fine. You win. |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1444 |
You were right about Trump comrade. I should never have double dog dared him! |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1445 |
You said you would marry me when the world ended. Well? |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1446 |
Can't you ever look on the bright side? |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1447 |
Who's your secretary of housing and urban development now? |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1448 |
Our relationship is in ruins. |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1449 |
Homes explode sometime, it's got nothing to with your mother coming to visit. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1450 |
This does qualify for my most unusual first date. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1451 |
Sorry I blew up. |
1.3187 |
0.06608 |
91 |
70 |
13 |
8 |
1452 |
I think I left the iron on. |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1453 |
All we wanted was to repeal Obamacare |
1.3187 |
0.06028 |
91 |
67 |
19 |
5 |
1454 |
Well, last man on Earth should count for something... |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1455 |
So how's your January 21st going? |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1456 |
And you said it wouldn't matter who we voted for... |
1.3187 |
0.06420 |
91 |
69 |
15 |
7 |
1457 |
On the other hand, Mexico did pay for the wall. |
1.3187 |
0.06608 |
91 |
70 |
13 |
8 |
1458 |
Nooo, the bet was the wall would go up BEFORE he started World War III. |
1.3187 |
0.06227 |
91 |
68 |
17 |
6 |
1459 |
I sense a disturbance in the force. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1460 |
Okay, Okay.! Enough with the I-didn't-vote-for-him bit. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1461 |
Sort of a moot point, now. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1462 |
It's been a brutal divorce. Can we agree on that? |
1.3146 |
0.07252 |
89 |
72 |
6 |
11 |
1463 |
Did you say it's January 21, 2017? Well, that escalated quickly. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1464 |
At least we didn't vote for someone with a private email server. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1465 |
The agent said "not covered". |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1466 |
Come here often? |
1.3146 |
0.05442 |
89 |
63 |
24 |
2 |
1467 |
Don't blame me, I voted for Bernie. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1468 |
If this were an episode of the Twilight Zone, you'd be a sexy robot. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1469 |
I'm tired of picking through the debris of our relationship |
1.3146 |
0.05892 |
89 |
65 |
20 |
4 |
1470 |
Were you serious about not sleeping with me even if I were the last man on earth? |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1471 |
I guess we'll see if you stick to your "last man on earth" policy. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1472 |
Okay, okay. Next time I'll read the directions. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1473 |
I've never been on a Cinder date. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1474 |
...and I say it could have been some 400 pound guy in his bed in New Jersey. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1475 |
Well, okay...and what do you think he has planned for January 21st? |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1476 |
Then you said, "What could possibly go wrong?" |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1477 |
I told you not to order anything delivered by a drone |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1478 |
Donald Trump asked 'What do you have to lose?' and now we know. |
1.3146 |
0.06703 |
89 |
69 |
12 |
8 |
1479 |
Fine; I was wrong. I guess he CAN do a lot of harm in just four years. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1480 |
Why couldn't he just send a few nasty twitters? |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1481 |
You have actually argued with me until the end of time. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1482 |
You win. It was rocket science. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1483 |
Still happy with your "protest vote", honey? |
1.3146 |
0.06703 |
89 |
69 |
12 |
8 |
1484 |
There goes the neighborhood. |
1.3146 |
0.05892 |
89 |
65 |
20 |
4 |
1485 |
Somehow it doesn't seem to matter that we didn't vote for him, does it? |
1.3146 |
0.05892 |
89 |
65 |
20 |
4 |
1486 |
I guess we should update our Linked In status. |
1.3146 |
0.05892 |
89 |
65 |
20 |
4 |
1487 |
And I assume you're going to tell me this is all my fault too. |
1.3146 |
0.05892 |
89 |
65 |
20 |
4 |
1488 |
Even if I were the last man on Earth? |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1489 |
So...are you still glad you voted for Trump?!? |
1.3146 |
0.07074 |
89 |
71 |
8 |
10 |
1490 |
Every Peace Corps experience is different. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1491 |
Now that I am the last man on earth, can we at least date? |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1492 |
I asked you never to press Control + Alt + Delete |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1493 |
I honestly never thought he'd win. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1494 |
I told you we should have taken his Twitter away. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1495 |
OK, OK, I shoulda voted for Hillary! |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1496 |
Don't look at me; I didn't vote for either of them. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1497 |
So, now how are you feeling about that protest vote? |
1.3146 |
0.07074 |
89 |
71 |
8 |
10 |
1498 |
I've been waiting for a good time to talk to you. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1499 |
Finally, some privacy. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1500 |
So? You from around here? |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1501 |
Yes, he made an unfortunate tweet. |
1.3146 |
0.06703 |
89 |
69 |
12 |
8 |
1502 |
Excuse me, I had beans for lunch. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1503 |
It was that last tweet. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1504 |
You could have just told me you wanted more space. |
1.3146 |
0.05671 |
89 |
64 |
22 |
3 |
1505 |
Don't look at me- I voted for Stein. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1506 |
Now? Now he makes it great again. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1507 |
Next time, insist your travel agent explain 'Amazing Ruins.' |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1508 |
Well, maybe I did leave the stove on... |
1.3146 |
0.06891 |
89 |
70 |
10 |
9 |
1509 |
YOU are the one who voted to put his stubby orange finger on the red button. |
1.3146 |
0.07074 |
89 |
71 |
8 |
10 |
1510 |
At least Tinder is still working. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1511 |
Now, can I say, 'I told you so'? |
1.3146 |
0.05892 |
89 |
65 |
20 |
4 |
1512 |
You remember that button you always told me not to push? |
1.3146 |
0.06703 |
89 |
69 |
12 |
8 |
1513 |
At least we don't have to worry about global warming. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1514 |
Not even if I'm the last man on earth? |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1515 |
I don't think it's fair for you to give me that 'I blame you for this look'. |
1.3146 |
0.05892 |
89 |
65 |
20 |
4 |
1516 |
Feel the burn? |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1517 |
That's true, but he created a lot of jobs getting us here. |
1.3146 |
0.06891 |
89 |
70 |
10 |
9 |
1518 |
Well as a first date, that was quite exciting |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1519 |
You had to add the jalapenos! |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1520 |
Well, that was exciting. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1521 |
It's agreed, then. We'll abolish the electoral college. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1522 |
Don't judge until you see the sunset |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1523 |
Did you remember to lock up? |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1524 |
Don't blame me. YOU'RE the one who wanted to make America great again. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1525 |
In retrospect, I guess improper email protocol was less dangerous than Narcissistic Personality Disorder. |
1.3146 |
0.06703 |
89 |
69 |
12 |
8 |
1526 |
I swear I thought he was going to make it great again |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1527 |
Well, on the plus side, no more pundits. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1528 |
I blame the Electoral College. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1529 |
Now will you marry me? |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1530 |
Well, most times I do read the instructions. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1531 |
At least, we still have our health. |
1.3146 |
0.05892 |
89 |
65 |
20 |
4 |
1532 |
Didn't see this coming when you pulled that lever on Election Day, did you? |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1533 |
Pick you up at seven? |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1534 |
Women just don't understand politics. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1535 |
What's for dinner? (this is actually by my son Felix, age 8) |
1.3146 |
0.06703 |
89 |
69 |
12 |
8 |
1536 |
At least we don't have to tell our future grandchildren that we met online. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1537 |
Finally, we'll have something else to talk about beside the children |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1538 |
And to think that only one week ago on this very spot he took the oath of office. |
1.3146 |
0.06891 |
89 |
70 |
10 |
9 |
1539 |
Well, we won't need dinner reservations. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1540 |
I guess Putin didn't back down. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1541 |
At least they repealed Obamacare. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1542 |
The question is, are we great again. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1543 |
Okay, I won't put Mentos in gasoline again. |
1.3146 |
0.06703 |
89 |
69 |
12 |
8 |
1544 |
Now do you see why your vote matters? |
1.3146 |
0.06703 |
89 |
69 |
12 |
8 |
1545 |
I was just hoping to pay less taxes. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1546 |
We're in a destructive relationship. |
1.3146 |
0.05892 |
89 |
65 |
20 |
4 |
1547 |
Now that I'm actually the last man on Earth, will you reconsider? |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1548 |
You mean "further". "Farther" refers to distance. |
1.3146 |
0.06510 |
89 |
68 |
14 |
7 |
1549 |
How many times have I told you to switch to an iPhone? |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1550 |
Glad we have made America great again. |
1.3146 |
0.06311 |
89 |
67 |
16 |
6 |
1551 |
It’s ok, we are going to make it great again… |
1.3146 |
0.06891 |
89 |
70 |
10 |
9 |
1552 |
I know, I know, you told me not to have the cabbage rolls. |
1.3146 |
0.06891 |
89 |
70 |
10 |
9 |
1553 |
And he's not even in office yet. |
1.3146 |
0.07074 |
89 |
71 |
8 |
10 |
1554 |
Sure, it looks bad now. But I still think we're going to be Great Again. |
1.3146 |
0.06105 |
89 |
66 |
18 |
5 |
1555 |
Think I'll run down to Home Depot. |
1.3111 |
0.06250 |
90 |
68 |
16 |
6 |
1556 |
Okay - so, now that I am the last man on Earth. . . ? |
1.3111 |
0.06250 |
90 |
68 |
16 |
6 |
1557 |
I guess this means we are stuck with each other. |
1.3068 |
0.05202 |
88 |
62 |
25 |
1 |
1558 |
So, are you from around here? |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1559 |
Things look so much better since they drained the swamp |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1560 |
Well, you voted for him! |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1561 |
"Give him a chance," you said. "How bad can he be?" you said. "He'll make America great again," you said. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1562 |
Yeah, but just imagine how much worse it would be if the Democrats were still in charge. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1563 |
Perhaps my Twitter feed was a tad bit provocative. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1564 |
In hindsight, I probably should have voted for someone else. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1565 |
At least we have Obamacare. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1566 |
Our insurance policy doesn't cover "scorched earth". |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1567 |
Please stop exaggerating. This isn't a total disaster. |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1568 |
I don't like blind dates. But since we're the last two people on earth, I'll make an exception. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1569 |
I snore. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1570 |
I was really hoping for someone a bit younger. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1571 |
Look at the bright side. At least you have the unobstructed view you always wanted. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1572 |
I warned you there was a housing bubble. |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1573 |
I guess Trump called their bluff! |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1574 |
But I miss caption contests the most. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1575 |
So much for the meteor warning being fake news. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1576 |
That'll teach those smug elitests |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1577 |
You have spinach between your teeth. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1578 |
Here's that fresh start you wanted |
1.3068 |
0.05447 |
88 |
63 |
23 |
2 |
1579 |
Now you have something to make great again! |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1580 |
Why don't you try this rock, I think you'll find it more comfortable. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1581 |
Well, at least you still have me. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1582 |
D-Date |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1583 |
But you're missing the whole point: we won! |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1584 |
And you're sure you unplugged the iron? |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1585 |
Don't blame me I voted for Gary Johnson. |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1586 |
I guess it's up to us to repopulate the world. You want to get started? |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1587 |
...And then Putin said "Sez who?" |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1588 |
The good news? No zombies. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1589 |
Well, at least now we don't have to worry about climate change. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1590 |
I still say things would be worse under Hillary. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1591 |
I'm sure there will be a plausible explanation on Twitter. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1592 |
I'm just saying, you have shown a tendency to overreact. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1593 |
I told you not to use bleach and vinegar to clean the toilet. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1594 |
My doctor said, "You have OCD. Stop checking if you left the stove on." |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1595 |
I told you not to smoke in the basement. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1596 |
I guess Russia wasn't as friendly as Trump thought. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1597 |
Are you sure you turned the oven off? |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1598 |
Would you consider a second date? |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1599 |
It was that last Tweet that did it. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1600 |
Go ahead, say it. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1601 |
Are you sure these are the Great Again VIP seats? |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1602 |
I just thought he'd mature in office. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1603 |
"The owners said if we act now we can get in on the ground floor". |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1604 |
C’mon, you hated the wallpaper too. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1605 |
I don't have much to offer you. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1606 |
You can stop reminding me who I voted for. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1607 |
So, about that "last man on earth" comment! |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1608 |
I still think Hillary would have been worse. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1609 |
I told you that cat was trouble. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1610 |
Ok, so I voted for the "what's the use of nukes if we don't use them" candidate. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1611 |
I'm ready to concede that I was wrong about the election. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1612 |
Pretty good. How about you? |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1613 |
"This is what he means by 'GREAT AGAIN'"? |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1614 |
As I was saying.... |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1615 |
Yeah, but at least that damned Obamacare is gone. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1616 |
Well now I am the last man in the world. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1617 |
You're acting like this argument is the end of the world. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1618 |
Well, I guess it depends on your definition of great. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1619 |
But she deleted some emails. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1620 |
OK, I shouldn't have tried to rewire the electrical outlet in the bathroom myself. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1621 |
So what do you want to do now? |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1622 |
Don't blame me, I voted for Bernie. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1623 |
Well, maybe white people did have something to lose. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1624 |
On the plus side, Obamacare has finally been repealed! |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1625 |
No kidding. I voted for him, too. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1626 |
When you said you wouldn't go out with me if I were the last man on earth, were you speaking literally or figuratively? |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1627 |
Where did you park the car? |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1628 |
The good news is he'll probably be a one-term President. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1629 |
Look, I just thought he had some good policies, ok?! |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1630 |
Are you up for trying to repopulate the world? |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1631 |
But Hillary deleted a bunch of emails... |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1632 |
Still happy about the protest vote for Stein? |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1633 |
I admit it. We were better off under Obama. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1634 |
In the plus column, my parents will have to cancel their visit. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1635 |
This is just the first step of Making America Great Again |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1636 |
I guess telling the President off was a mistake! |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1637 |
Anyway, want to get a drink sometime? |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1638 |
So much for giving him a chance. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1639 |
On the plus side, we were right about Trump. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1640 |
I thought it was just a protest vote. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1641 |
I understand that every marriage hits a rough patch, but it feels like we're living in a war zone. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1642 |
We didn't have enough miles for Italy. |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1643 |
Our duty is to repopulate the world. I'm ready now. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1644 |
I told you I smelled gas. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1645 |
Let's start over. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1646 |
It was still a great tweet. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1647 |
Should we have voted for Hillary? |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1648 |
America's great again. |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1649 |
Yes, but Adam and Eve had a garden. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1650 |
Still happy with your "Protest Vote"? |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1651 |
I think we're still in the Repeal phase. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1652 |
I thought they said this building was pre-war? |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1653 |
Well.....I guess you could say that the swamp has been drained |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1654 |
You'll see. This is just the beginning of "making America great again"... |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1655 |
I want a divorce. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1656 |
Fran, I have to agree with your therapist: you have an explosive temper. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1657 |
They say they have a plan to replace it. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1658 |
Now that I actually am the last man on Earth, do you still want that divorce? |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1659 |
Elections have consequences. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1660 |
At least we still have Social Security... |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1661 |
We should still give him a chance to lead... |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1662 |
Single level, airy, expansive view, low rent. Yep, that's what the ad said. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1663 |
He said everything he was going to do would be YUGE. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1664 |
Well, that completes our down-sizing. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1665 |
This is what I mean about your temper. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1666 |
I still think I can flip it in three months. |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1667 |
But the emails, Barb! |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1668 |
So maybe he'll build the wall on Day Two. |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1669 |
Don't worry. Once they open a Whole Foods, our property value will triple. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1670 |
It's not you. It's me. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1671 |
Want to reconsider your "last man on Earth" stance? |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1672 |
Okay, so now we have a third world problem! Does that make you happy? |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1673 |
I wish I'd voted. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1674 |
I'm still not sleeping with you. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1675 |
Will you be voting Republican again next year too? |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1676 |
Well I don't care what you say. He speaks his mind, and I respect that. |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1677 |
We may have to reschedule the intelligence briefing. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1678 |
Give him a chance. He's not even in office yet. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1679 |
OK, OK. You get the house. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1680 |
Fine, you can't put tinfoil in the microwave. But it still saved us some time. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1681 |
Sure, but what about her emails? |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1682 |
Would this be a good time to ask you who you voted for? |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1683 |
The great part must be next! |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1684 |
Just got a Tweet from the President -- we won. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1685 |
The dating scene has really changed. |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1686 |
I still think her emails were a bigger deal. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1687 |
You're the one who voted for him. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1688 |
Don't look at me, I didn't vote for Trump. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1689 |
I thought YOU turned off the stove. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1690 |
I'll check again for survivors...Watch my seat. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1691 |
... On top of all that, I'm a claims adjuster. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1692 |
Look at the bright side. We still have that 20% off coupon from Bed, Bath and Beyond. |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1693 |
Got any plans this evening? |
1.3068 |
0.05447 |
88 |
63 |
23 |
2 |
1694 |
Those hotel deals are never as good as they look in the photos. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1695 |
It's all Obama's fault. |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1696 |
They are not targeting civilians, we are perfectly safe here. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1697 |
Well then, your place or mine? |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1698 |
He said it's all part of the plan. Now Europe will pay for brand new buildings. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1699 |
At least we have a wall. |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1700 |
If we hire you would you be willing to relocate? |
1.3068 |
0.05682 |
88 |
64 |
21 |
3 |
1701 |
"I guess we can always sneak across the border to Mexico". |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1702 |
I don't know. Where do you want to eat? |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1703 |
Next Halloween, let's make sure we don't run out of candy |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1704 |
Our marriage is in ruins. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1705 |
Did you hear all that noise last night? |
1.3068 |
0.06124 |
88 |
66 |
17 |
5 |
1706 |
Ironically, now I am the last man on earth! |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1707 |
Well, I'll say we survived our first date okay. |
1.3068 |
0.05447 |
88 |
63 |
23 |
2 |
1708 |
Where did you park? |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1709 |
I'm an interior decorator. What do you do? |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1710 |
I guess it wasn't ,"fake news" |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1711 |
So, that's what the red button on the microwave was for. |
1.3068 |
0.06925 |
88 |
70 |
9 |
9 |
1712 |
"Maybe it's time to see a mediator". |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1713 |
Like my profile said, I have some anger issues. |
1.3068 |
0.05907 |
88 |
65 |
19 |
4 |
1714 |
I know, I know, for the thousandth time, you voted for her. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1715 |
Ok, Ok, I should have called the repairman. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1716 |
Well, that's not what happened in the YouTube Tutorial. |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1717 |
I still say, lock her up! |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1718 |
Well, at least he got rid of Obamacare! |
1.3068 |
0.06334 |
88 |
67 |
15 |
6 |
1719 |
I still say Hillary was worse. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1720 |
I thought YOU turned off the stove. |
1.3068 |
0.06734 |
88 |
69 |
11 |
8 |
1721 |
If you think this is bad, wait until the zombies show up. |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1722 |
But what about those e-mails? |
1.3068 |
0.06537 |
88 |
68 |
13 |
7 |
1723 |
Now we replace. |
1.3034 |
0.06065 |
89 |
67 |
17 |
5 |
1724 |
No, really Eve, my name is actually Adam. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1725 |
To think it all started with a tweet... |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1726 |
And then I remembered what my ex-wife constantly told me - "Never put metal in the microwave!" |
1.2989 |
0.06356 |
87 |
67 |
14 |
6 |
1727 |
And I was just starting to feel great again... |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1728 |
Is now a bad time to ask if I should take a Viagra? |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1729 |
Maybe Obama wasn't so bad. |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1730 |
I can hardly recognize the old neighborhood. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1731 |
2016 is looking better with each passing day. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1732 |
Next year I choose the vacation! |
1.2989 |
0.05921 |
87 |
65 |
18 |
4 |
1733 |
l'm beginning to regret my vote. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1734 |
In hindsight, perhaps we should have voted for Hillary |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1735 |
I blame your mother. |
1.2989 |
0.05691 |
87 |
64 |
20 |
3 |
1736 |
Remember when you said, "If I was the last man on earth?" |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1737 |
Now we really need someone to make it great again. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1738 |
It turns out he did make America disintegrate again. |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1739 |
In retrospect, maybe we shouldn't have voted for Jill Stein. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1740 |
Why do you always have to make it about the apocalypse? |
1.2989 |
0.06356 |
87 |
67 |
14 |
6 |
1741 |
Let's start over. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1742 |
This is Kansas, Dorothy... What did you expect? |
1.2989 |
0.05921 |
87 |
65 |
18 |
4 |
1743 |
Some all-expenses-paid vacations just aren't worth it. |
1.2989 |
0.05921 |
87 |
65 |
18 |
4 |
1744 |
Next time vote democratic |
1.2989 |
0.06959 |
87 |
70 |
8 |
9 |
1745 |
No more "Do it yourself" YouTube videos. |
1.2989 |
0.06356 |
87 |
67 |
14 |
6 |
1746 |
Do you want the short version or the long version? |
1.2989 |
0.05451 |
87 |
63 |
22 |
2 |
1747 |
I know it isn't great again but it's not grounds for impeachment. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1748 |
WW III - It's a good thing we weren't home when it happened. |
1.2989 |
0.06959 |
87 |
70 |
8 |
9 |
1749 |
I miss the old neighborhood. |
1.2989 |
0.05691 |
87 |
64 |
20 |
3 |
1750 |
Is that lipstick on your collar? |
1.2989 |
0.06764 |
87 |
69 |
10 |
8 |
1751 |
Hell hath no fury... |
1.2989 |
0.05921 |
87 |
65 |
18 |
4 |
1752 |
Hi. My name is Adam. |
1.2989 |
0.05691 |
87 |
64 |
20 |
3 |
1753 |
Alright, I was wrong about President Trump. |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1754 |
You're right, voting for Trump was a bad idea. |
1.2989 |
0.06764 |
87 |
69 |
10 |
8 |
1755 |
This is absolutely the last time we use a Russian travel agent. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1756 |
Oh don't be so smug |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1757 |
You don't think America's great again? |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1758 |
Still better than Hillary. |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1759 |
We'll always have Pittsburgh. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1760 |
When you said we'd have a blast, you really meant it. |
1.2989 |
0.06356 |
87 |
67 |
14 |
6 |
1761 |
Sorry that I didn't get around to calling the gas company about that smell. |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1762 |
Do you think it's finally "great" now? |
1.2989 |
0.06764 |
87 |
69 |
10 |
8 |
1763 |
Fine. I'll stop trolling the President on Twitter. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1764 |
Let's eat out tonight. |
1.2989 |
0.06356 |
87 |
67 |
14 |
6 |
1765 |
How about if I was the last man on scorched earth? |
1.2989 |
0.06764 |
87 |
69 |
10 |
8 |
1766 |
They dropped it, why can't you? |
1.2989 |
0.06356 |
87 |
67 |
14 |
6 |
1767 |
Let me guess: I'll be sleeping on what's left of the couch tonight. |
1.2989 |
0.06356 |
87 |
67 |
14 |
6 |
1768 |
Is this what you meant when you said: 'Let's start over again'? |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1769 |
Well! At least we have each other. |
1.2989 |
0.05921 |
87 |
65 |
18 |
4 |
1770 |
At least we found seats next to each other. |
1.2989 |
0.05691 |
87 |
64 |
20 |
3 |
1771 |
Oh stop complaining. He won. Let's just give him a chance. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1772 |
You never take me anywhere nice. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1773 |
Let's hope this is the best E-Harmony match ever. |
1.2989 |
0.05921 |
87 |
65 |
18 |
4 |
1774 |
Well the media did not predict this would happen. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1775 |
I already said I'm sorry I voted for him. |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1776 |
You shouldn't have pulled my finger. |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1777 |
Any other ideas for avoiding the next four years? |
1.2989 |
0.06356 |
87 |
67 |
14 |
6 |
1778 |
When he said, 'Make America Great Again,' I missed the part about starting from scratch. |
1.2989 |
0.06764 |
87 |
69 |
10 |
8 |
1779 |
At least we have each other. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1780 |
But what about her emails?!! |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1781 |
Welcome to 2017. |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1782 |
Well, yeah, if the election were held today, sure..." |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1783 |
The timing for your acceptance of a woman president is just a little late, Phil. |
1.2989 |
0.05921 |
87 |
65 |
18 |
4 |
1784 |
The tweet read 'Sad. No way it could be the Russians.' |
1.2989 |
0.06764 |
87 |
69 |
10 |
8 |
1785 |
Yes, it's the end. Yes, the answer is still "No." |
1.2989 |
0.06356 |
87 |
67 |
14 |
6 |
1786 |
'You're disappointed, I can tell. I admit, my profile picture was taken pre-apocalypse.' |
1.2989 |
0.05921 |
87 |
65 |
18 |
4 |
1787 |
Now that I actually am the last man on Earth, how about that coffee? |
1.2989 |
0.05921 |
87 |
65 |
18 |
4 |
1788 |
See, Trump's first week wasn't so bad. |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1789 |
Well, Burt, you somehow topped our honeymoon in Bosnia ... |
1.2989 |
0.06563 |
87 |
68 |
12 |
7 |
1790 |
OK, I took the lumpy rock. What else do you want? |
1.2989 |
0.06143 |
87 |
66 |
16 |
5 |
1791 |
Yes, I voted for him--so what? |
1.2955 |
0.06695 |
88 |
70 |
10 |
8 |
1792 |
Isn't tonight sex night? |
1.2955 |
0.06082 |
88 |
67 |
16 |
5 |
1793 |
Well I guess that just leaves you and me. |
1.2955 |
0.06293 |
88 |
68 |
14 |
6 |
1794 |
We should try to patch things up. |
1.2955 |
0.06293 |
88 |
68 |
14 |
6 |
1795 |
All I said was that his hands seemed unusually small. |
1.2955 |
0.06293 |
88 |
68 |
14 |
6 |
1796 |
I'm the last man on Earth. Now will you go out with me? |
1.2955 |
0.05636 |
88 |
65 |
20 |
3 |
1797 |
Turns out having a roof over my head was a large part of your appeal. |
1.2955 |
0.06082 |
88 |
67 |
16 |
5 |
1798 |
Maybe we should give couples therapy a rest. |
1.2955 |
0.06293 |
88 |
68 |
14 |
6 |
1799 |
I thought we'd at least make it passed January 21st... |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1800 |
Are you happy now? I was wrong again - it IS the end of the world. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1801 |
OK, maybe deplorable. |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1802 |
Now will you sleep with me? |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1803 |
Ok, I did leave the stove on. |
1.2907 |
0.05698 |
86 |
64 |
19 |
3 |
1804 |
I told you that giving the nuclear codes to a former reality TV show host was a bad idea. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1805 |
So, are you still so certain you wouldn't date me if I were the last person on the face of the Earth? |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1806 |
I didn't promise you a rose garden. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1807 |
Well, clearly, but you voted for him, too. |
1.2907 |
0.06793 |
86 |
69 |
9 |
8 |
1808 |
There is still the question of attorney fees. |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
1809 |
Now that I AM the last man on earth, are you sure you won't change your mind? |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1810 |
I guess this means we live with your mother now. |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1811 |
No, it's definitely not half full. |
1.2907 |
0.05698 |
86 |
64 |
19 |
3 |
1812 |
We made it through hell unscathed, now brace yourself for high water. |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
1813 |
No, I don't know where the LGBT bathrooms are. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1814 |
Or we could've just called an exterminator |
1.2907 |
0.05698 |
86 |
64 |
19 |
3 |
1815 |
So what if I WAS the last man on earth? |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1816 |
... And then someone called him a Cheeto for the very last time |
1.2907 |
0.06992 |
86 |
70 |
7 |
9 |
1817 |
Can you hear me now? |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1818 |
It's all your fault. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1819 |
Things could be worse. |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
1820 |
What would you like to keep in the divorce? |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1821 |
Everywhere your mother goes its the same! |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1822 |
You're the one who insisted on the 20 year mortgage. |
1.2907 |
0.05698 |
86 |
64 |
19 |
3 |
1823 |
Why don't we just order out? |
1.2907 |
0.05453 |
86 |
63 |
21 |
2 |
1824 |
I told you not to put aluminum foil in the microwave |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1825 |
My mother always told me you were a homewrecker. |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1826 |
I was right. Hell didn't freeze over. |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1827 |
So what do think of our new president? |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1828 |
What do you mean, I should have read the directions first? |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1829 |
Go on, say it. I ruin things for everyone. |
1.2907 |
0.05453 |
86 |
63 |
21 |
2 |
1830 |
Don't look at me like that, you are the one who voted for him. |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1831 |
Sadly we are not in love among the ruins. |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1832 |
Their calling it the 'tweet heard round the world' |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1833 |
And if I WAS the last man on earth? |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
1834 |
Were your flights non-refundable too? |
1.2907 |
0.05698 |
86 |
64 |
19 |
3 |
1835 |
That's why it's called research & development. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1836 |
You can stop worrying that you left the stove on, Mildred. |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1837 |
I'm rethinking my Trump vote. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1838 |
Not even if we were the last two people on Earth, huh, Carol? |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1839 |
Really? Armageddon was my fault? |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1840 |
Honey, you'll never guess what happened today... |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1841 |
So, are you going to vote for Trump again in 2020? |
1.2907 |
0.06793 |
86 |
69 |
9 |
8 |
1842 |
Well at least he didn't have a private email server. |
1.2907 |
0.06793 |
86 |
69 |
9 |
8 |
1843 |
I guess Kim Jung-un called The Donald's bluff. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1844 |
Fake news! It didn't happen. Sad. |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1845 |
I thought you said you turned the stove off. |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1846 |
Now aren't you glad we didn't buy? |
1.2907 |
0.05453 |
86 |
63 |
21 |
2 |
1847 |
Which house was Alec Baldwin's? |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
1848 |
Did you shut off the oven? |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
1849 |
Is it not uncanny that my name is Adam and that yours is Eve? |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1850 |
So, I'm guessing your mother won't be coming now? |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1851 |
What was it you said? Not even if I was the last man on Earth? |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1852 |
The instructions came in every language but English. |
1.2907 |
0.05698 |
86 |
64 |
19 |
3 |
1853 |
At least he did something in the first hundred days. |
1.2907 |
0.05453 |
86 |
63 |
21 |
2 |
1854 |
If this is the end of civilization as we know it, at least that means he won't be re-elected. |
1.2907 |
0.06992 |
86 |
70 |
7 |
9 |
1855 |
Well, that was one of the rougher therapy sessions I've had. |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
1856 |
Was that necessary - just to keep my mother from visiting?! |
1.2907 |
0.05453 |
86 |
63 |
21 |
2 |
1857 |
Well, you're the one who voted for him. |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1858 |
I wonder what would've happened if Russia hadn't been our friend... |
1.2907 |
0.06589 |
86 |
68 |
11 |
7 |
1859 |
I imagined ‘airy with historic views’ differently |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1860 |
Well you're nothing like your profile pic, Mr "lastmanonearth69" but I guess you'll have to do. |
1.2907 |
0.06992 |
86 |
70 |
7 |
9 |
1861 |
At least we still have our health care plan. |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1862 |
We got our guy elected, didn't we? |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1863 |
I know You don't want to hear it again, "there goes the neighborhood." |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1864 |
At least now we have one less thing to worry about. |
1.2907 |
0.05933 |
86 |
65 |
17 |
4 |
1865 |
I can't get over how cheap our flights were! |
1.2907 |
0.06378 |
86 |
67 |
13 |
6 |
1866 |
Okay, I should have voted! |
1.2907 |
0.06159 |
86 |
66 |
15 |
5 |
1867 |
Being married to you is still worse. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1868 |
Did you check the radiation levels before we left? |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1869 |
Bad news, Ruth. It's no longer a seller's market. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1870 |
Love is a battlefield. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1871 |
How's 'Not if you were the last man on earth!' working for you now? |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1872 |
Think you had enough cognac in the flambé? |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1873 |
I think an Ikea run. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1874 |
You can't make me move. This block is rent controlled. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1875 |
OK, maybe we should have tried mediation. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1876 |
That was some sneeze. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1877 |
Fine, I'll admit it. I passed some gas. |
1.2857 |
0.06895 |
84 |
68 |
8 |
8 |
1878 |
I told you the article about the meteor wasn't Fake News! |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1879 |
I guess he thought the Stone Age was great. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1880 |
You want to reconsider? Because it now looks like I am the last man on Earth. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1881 |
You're right, I shouldn't have fought you so much over the thermostat. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1882 |
I was hoping we'd at least make it until the inauguration. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1883 |
Alright, so I left the oven on. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1884 |
Why do you always blame me when something goes wrong? |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1885 |
It's a metaphor. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1886 |
I guess we'll never have Paris |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1887 |
You're my ex. So, at least we don't still have each other. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1888 |
Didn't take long for America to be 'Great Again'. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1889 |
Do you still think they were right to take away his Twitter account? |
1.2857 |
0.06895 |
84 |
68 |
8 |
8 |
1890 |
Now it will be even more fantastic when he makes America great again. |
1.2857 |
0.06895 |
84 |
68 |
8 |
8 |
1891 |
Did you remember to turn off the lights? |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1892 |
"What's your favorite home renovation show"? |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1893 |
Did you unplug the coffee pot? |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1894 |
I guess a "hot" real estate market can mean two different things. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1895 |
Well that couple's therapy session ended well. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1896 |
I hate it when a neighborhood gets discovered. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1897 |
I love what you've done with the space. |
1.2857 |
0.05507 |
84 |
62 |
20 |
2 |
1898 |
Do you think the parade is still on? |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1899 |
I guess I thought that the apocalypse would be more...something. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1900 |
When I said, 'Let's vacation in Damascus', I meant Maryland. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1901 |
I pulled the lever in the voting booth and next thing you know..... |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1902 |
I'm Adam. What's your name? |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1903 |
So, you still feel good about that protest vote? |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1904 |
One day after inauguration and here were are..... |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1905 |
Look at the bright side. Your mother can't come. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1906 |
I think we should try mediation. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1907 |
Ok, fine. That "Holiday in Aleppo" brochure may have been a bit out-of-date. |
1.2857 |
0.06895 |
84 |
68 |
8 |
8 |
1908 |
Was that a definite "no?" |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1909 |
I told you over and over again we were on the eve of destruction. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1910 |
We stay...I refuse to learn another language! |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1911 |
So he won. It's not the end of the world. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1912 |
I was very happy with our simple, ordinary life, but then you had to convert to gas. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1913 |
Homewrecker! |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1914 |
It's just like you to always look at the dark side. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1915 |
Say "great" again, I dare you. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1916 |
Henry, you've ruined everything. |
1.2857 |
0.07299 |
84 |
70 |
4 |
10 |
1917 |
OK, we've de-cluttered. Are you happy now? |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1918 |
Ok now I agree with you about Trump |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1919 |
It's the first step of his jobs program. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1920 |
You started it. |
1.2857 |
0.06895 |
84 |
68 |
8 |
8 |
1921 |
Yes, there is a learning curve when making your own fireworks. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1922 |
Yeah, but Hillary was a crook. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1923 |
Unless you have your proof of insurance, I'm afraid I can't help you. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1924 |
We should have voted for Hillary. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1925 |
Well, I've always done the cooking, and you've always done the picking up. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1926 |
I don't see any reason to go to work today, do you? |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1927 |
Ready to repopulate? |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1928 |
Told you to cut the BLUE wire!! |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1929 |
You have to admit . . . the Mexicans did build a fantastic wall. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1930 |
Did you have to look so disappointed when I said, 'at least we still have each other'? |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1931 |
Should we cancel the lawn care service? |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1932 |
Okay, you were right. I should have read the directions. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1933 |
You and your 'Off-Season Rates'! |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1934 |
At least we have our health. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1935 |
Could be worse. They could have seated us by the kitchen. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1936 |
Fine -- so my mother's visit was, in fact, the end of the world. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1937 |
This approach worked in the campaign. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1938 |
This could have happened just as easily if she was president. |
1.2857 |
0.06895 |
84 |
68 |
8 |
8 |
1939 |
Obama was right-there are no red states or blue states. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1940 |
You told your lawyer to go nuclear. Happy now? |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1941 |
So, is America Great Again yet? |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1942 |
I am the last man on earth. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1943 |
I guess elections do have consequences. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1944 |
I say we give it one half of one star on TripAdvisor. |
1.2857 |
0.05507 |
84 |
62 |
20 |
2 |
1945 |
I have an idea for a home renovation reality show. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1946 |
...And so I said to myself, what a wonderful world. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1947 |
So, does that whole "Not if you're the last man on earth" thing still count. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1948 |
Well, I STILL wouldn't have voted for Hillary because of her emails. |
1.2857 |
0.06895 |
84 |
68 |
8 |
8 |
1949 |
On the bright side at least nuclear winter will balance global warming. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1950 |
Tell me again about how elections don't matter. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1951 |
I'm having second thoughts about voting for Donald Trump |
1.2857 |
0.05507 |
84 |
62 |
20 |
2 |
1952 |
The box said it was safe for boys 10 to 15. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1953 |
I didn't think "scorched earth policy" applied to us. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1954 |
You can't expect to make America great again if you aren't willing to ruffle a few feathers. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1955 |
"Well, I think it's only gong to be a four year term". |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1956 |
Not to say I told you so, but that didn't take long |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1957 |
At least we're still in Kansas. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1958 |
"Great" is a subjective word I guess. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1959 |
Any thoughts on dinner? |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1960 |
"Not if I was the last man on earth," really? |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1961 |
Okay fine, I admit it. I should've voted for her. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1962 |
Don't worry, the hipsters will move in soon. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1963 |
It was your idea to use the travel agent from Kabul |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1964 |
I'd say we still have each other, but frankly that doesn't do it for me. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1965 |
Noah started with less. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1966 |
The city bus may not be coming, want to try Uber? |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1967 |
Fox News didn't see it coming. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1968 |
At least this will deter the immigrants. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1969 |
I knew the play bombed, but I didn't think the critics would go this far. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1970 |
OK, but his Supreme Court pick was awesome. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1971 |
But he repealed Obamacare. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1972 |
You just couldn't wait to use the nuclear option in this argument, could you? |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1973 |
All things considered, how do you like the neighborhood? |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1974 |
O K you win. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1975 |
I told you I can't cook! |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1976 |
Looks like I AM the last man on earth. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1977 |
There's 'repeal'. I'm waiting for 'replace'. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1978 |
Ok, who's ready to repopulate the earth? |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1979 |
Well, at least the Mexicans paid for that wall. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1980 |
No, honey, I still would not vote for Hillary. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1981 |
I thought the directions said to pre-heat oven to 3500 degrees. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1982 |
OK, maybe his last tweet was a LITTLE too provocative. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1983 |
I was told to cut the green wire. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1984 |
Four more years? |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1985 |
You said you weren't concerned about his foreign policy. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1986 |
Well, now that I am the last man on earth, I'll give you one more chance to reconsider. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1987 |
I don't understand. the brochures said Aleppo is lovely this time of year |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1988 |
The Donald tweeted a photobomb challenge to Vlad - and and it was downhill from there. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1989 |
He said that it had nothing to do with the fact that we didn’t vote for him. He said they were showing him the button and his little hand slipped. |
1.2857 |
0.06895 |
84 |
68 |
8 |
8 |
1990 |
Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. |
1.2857 |
0.05240 |
84 |
61 |
22 |
1 |
1991 |
He said literally but, I didn't think he meant literally. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1992 |
I see this as a unique buying opportunity. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
1993 |
Do you remember me saying 'The world may end, but our love will last forever...' |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1994 |
Oh! Carol! I feel the earth move under my feet!" "Oh! Neil! I feel the sky tumbling down! |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1995 |
So? You from around here? |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
1996 |
Why didn't you tell me that you'd never changed a fuse before? |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
1997 |
Well I'm really glad we gave Trump a chance! ...Now what? |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
1998 |
OK, OK... But I still think she lied about her emails. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
1999 |
I don't care what you say, I feel great again. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
2000 |
Well, you got your wish for no more obnoxious neighbors. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2001 |
Didn't see that one coming. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2002 |
Think of it as our very own Waiting for Godot moment. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2003 |
So that's why they called it Tinder. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2004 |
Now I'm glad we didn't pay the gas bill |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2005 |
You can't say he wasn't effective. Race, immigration, employment, trade and health care aren't problems anymore. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
2006 |
You had to give the kids a chemistry set. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2007 |
I thought I'd be wearing something edgier after the apocalypse. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2008 |
Tell me again how this is great? |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
2009 |
Should we repopulate? |
1.2857 |
0.05240 |
84 |
61 |
22 |
1 |
2010 |
Perhaps you'll be a little lerss condenscending now that I really am the last man on earth. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2011 |
'I don't care. I'm still not staying at your mother's. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2012 |
Next year, I'll choose the vacation destination. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
2013 |
I don't have any of my usual first date jitters |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
2014 |
My point is, it's a lot easier to make something great again if you completely destroy it first. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
2015 |
You were right—I should have voted for Hillary. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2016 |
Don't look at me. I didn't vote. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
2017 |
I still say 2016 was worse. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
2018 |
I chase storms Helen, it's what I do. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2019 |
Did you remember to unplug the iron? |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
2020 |
But if you put aside the retaliation, you have to admit that it was one of Trump's best zingers. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2021 |
That's amazing -- I was raised by a post-apocalyptic mutant motorcycle gang too! |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2022 |
Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2023 |
This is why we can't have nice things. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2024 |
The people have spoken. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
2025 |
I told you we didn't need reservations. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2026 |
Not even if you were the last person on Earth. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2027 |
Beans and cabbage for dinner, and then you light a cigarette ! |
1.2857 |
0.06895 |
84 |
68 |
8 |
8 |
2028 |
Next on the list, Social Security. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2029 |
The last one ever, but a helluva tweet. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
2030 |
On the bright side, Trump was only a one-term president. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2031 |
I like this place because it hasn't been gentrified. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2032 |
No, I don't think this apocalypse makes you look fat. |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
2033 |
I just want to be sure you're actually the last man on Earth. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
2034 |
Anything new going on with Kim and Kanye? |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
2035 |
Now that I AM the last person on Earth, you still won't talk to me? |
1.2857 |
0.06683 |
84 |
67 |
10 |
7 |
2036 |
I'll give up the seat when your friend arrives. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2037 |
We could be in the middle of a real estate boom. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
2038 |
So we gave him a chance. Is it ok to ask now if we made a mistake? |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2039 |
On second thought, maybe I did leave the coffee maker on. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2040 |
I told you to get rid of your Samsung. |
1.2857 |
0.05761 |
84 |
63 |
18 |
3 |
2041 |
Well...now that I actually AM the last man on earth, how about dinner? |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2042 |
The next time you want to play with the grandkids we're going to their house! |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
2043 |
Well, we still own a piece of the rock. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2044 |
No, I still won't move to the suburbs. |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2045 |
Finally, it's just the two of us. |
1.2857 |
0.06239 |
84 |
65 |
14 |
5 |
2046 |
I didn't vote for the guy. |
1.2857 |
0.06465 |
84 |
66 |
12 |
6 |
2047 |
So what do you wanna do after this? |
1.2857 |
0.06005 |
84 |
64 |
16 |
4 |
2048 |
No, Fred, you may not call me "Wilma," now. |
1.2824 |
0.06613 |
85 |
68 |
10 |
7 |
2049 |
So what time is your mother coming? |
1.2824 |
0.06398 |
85 |
67 |
12 |
6 |
2050 |
Oh oh. Did I turn the oven off? |
1.2824 |
0.06613 |
85 |
68 |
10 |
7 |
2051 |
Could be worse. Could be snowing. |
1.2824 |
0.06175 |
85 |
66 |
14 |
5 |
2052 |
You said you were looking for something in a pre-war building? |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2053 |
Did you remember to record Game of Thrones? |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2054 |
Well, Sue, it looks like I'm the last man on Earth. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2055 |
I had a rough day. What's for dinner? |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2056 |
What? Sorry, hon, I wasn't listening. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2057 |
You're sure you sent in the premium ? |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2058 |
Let's just order takeout. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2059 |
'' I liked your pre-apocalyptic stare better than I like your post." |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2060 |
Do you think its a coincidence that my name is Adam, Eve? |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2061 |
At least he kept half of his campaign promise. |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2062 |
Up till now, my first dates tended to be duds. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2063 |
So you're the last woman on earth. |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2064 |
I hope I don't step on my glasses! |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2065 |
I agree her handling of e-mail doesn't seem like that big of a deal, in retrospect. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2066 |
Remember when you said, "I would never. Even if you're the last man on earth." Well... |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2067 |
Everything seems to quiet down after the holidays. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2068 |
You look just like your profile picture. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2069 |
Next time, get out and vote! |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2070 |
When I voted for him to shake things up, this isn't what I had in mind. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2071 |
Hey, even a licensed electrician could've made the same mistake. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2072 |
Damn Right! And I would vote for him again! |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2073 |
See, I told you everything would be okay. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2074 |
I didn't realize there was a nuclear option for decluttering." |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2075 |
Thank you for giving him a chance. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2076 |
And what brings you to speed dating? |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2077 |
Beats 2016. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2078 |
Okay, I really know that you're pissed off. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2079 |
NOW do we have room for a pool table!?! |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2080 |
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for him either. |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2081 |
So, you still think Trump will be re-elected? |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2082 |
Oh, well, at least he didn't use a private e-mail server. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2083 |
Why not just level with me? |
1.2771 |
0.06924 |
83 |
68 |
7 |
8 |
2084 |
At least Hillary Clinton isn't president |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2085 |
Do you have any plans for Saturday night? |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2086 |
Now THAT is what I call a fart! |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2087 |
I feel like that really cleared the air |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2088 |
Not if you were the last man on earth. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2089 |
I'm not moving until you say, "I'm sorry." |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2090 |
I told you we should have moved to Canada! |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2091 |
Let's go out for dinner. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2092 |
Hey! I'm not the one who voted for him! |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2093 |
How was I supposed to know a politician was going to do exactly what he said he was going to do? |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2094 |
Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have given a damn about Hillary's email. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2095 |
I still don't want to meet your mother. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2096 |
Honestly....Netflix is what I miss the most. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2097 |
Ok dear, maybe I should try the Acidophilus. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2098 |
I bet you feel some guilt NOW over pushing so hard for the vasectomy. |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2099 |
A penny for your thoughts. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2100 |
You knew I had a temper when you married me. |
1.2771 |
0.05231 |
83 |
61 |
21 |
1 |
2101 |
But you voted to change the landscape! |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2102 |
And I thought the election results were a disaster |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2103 |
I tell you I don't care. What do YOU want to do for dinner? |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2104 |
Still glad you voted for him? |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2105 |
Oh c'mon, we've got front row seats. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2106 |
I TOLD you not to use foil in the microwave! |
1.2771 |
0.06924 |
83 |
68 |
7 |
8 |
2107 |
This is why you don't stick a knife in the toaster. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2108 |
I still think it's Hillary's fault. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2109 |
Pizza or Chinese? |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2110 |
You just had to send that tweet about Trump's haircut! |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2111 |
Don't look at me like that. I didn't vote for him. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2112 |
Okay, maybe that slogan should have been "Make America Again". |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2113 |
See, not everything is fake news! |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2114 |
Let's eat out instead. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2115 |
Had we added an 'acts of war' rider we'd be sitting pretty. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2116 |
I dunno. What do you want to do? |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2117 |
Survivors can't be choosers! |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2118 |
Let's not start over. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2119 |
Surely they knew #DrainTheSwamp was a metaphor. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2120 |
Madam, I'm Adam |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2121 |
Yes, but I didn't think he'd really do it. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2122 |
Well. OK. But let's look at the positive side. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2123 |
Okay: I was wrong to tell you not to worry about the oven. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2124 |
Tell me again how this is "not the end of the world." |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2125 |
I still think we should give him a chance. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2126 |
I told you this would happen. Well maybe not this, but something. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2127 |
They're saying to cut the new Administration some slack. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2128 |
Oh, so it's my fault? |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2129 |
Maybe buying the pressure cooker wasn't such a good idea. |
1.2771 |
0.06924 |
83 |
68 |
7 |
8 |
2130 |
Look at the bright side. Now we don't need to make room for your mother. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2131 |
And you still think it was okay to vote for that man..?! |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2132 |
"My beans won't give you gas", you said. |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2133 |
While it WAS a load-bearing wall, I think we can both agree this really opens up the space. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2134 |
I guess this means we can skip couples therapy. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2135 |
Oh well, we've survived worse. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2136 |
'Please call me Adam' |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2137 |
We still need to give Trump a chance. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2138 |
Maybe I was wrong about the world not coming to an end if we skipped dinner with your sister. |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2139 |
I see no earthly reason to wait any longer for the cable guy. Gladys. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2140 |
Honest. All I did was ‘like’ Alec Baldwin’s impersonation of Trump. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2141 |
We must have different definitions of the word "great." |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2142 |
Well, that's that with our reverse mortgage plans.. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2143 |
Yeah, but we won! Didn't we? |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2144 |
Just think of this as an opportunity. We needed a new water heater anyway. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2145 |
I'm not convinced we should abandon the electoral college just yet. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2146 |
We need to talk |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2147 |
I hope that cockroaches are an acquired taste. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2148 |
Actually, a verbal description of our marriage would have sufficed. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2149 |
well, I am the last man on earth, can we have a date? |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2150 |
I am still proud to have a President that represents me! |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2151 |
So you don't think we'll get our deposit back? |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2152 |
You used hotels.com again, didn't you Frank? |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2153 |
Your profile said that you are an optimist. |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2154 |
Yes, but Hillary would have been even worse. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2155 |
Oh, like Hilary would have done any better. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2156 |
All those years of eating paleo might actually help us. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2157 |
Ok, maybe I'm second guessing my vote a little.... |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2158 |
Let's not go to sleep angry. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2159 |
Alright. Perhaps it was a bit of an overreaction. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2160 |
Fine, I admit it: casting a protest vote was a mistake. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2161 |
No one said making it great again was going to be easy. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2162 |
Ok. I guess I should have voted differently. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2163 |
"Remember when I said I wanted to see other people? |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2164 |
I should have thought more before voting |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2165 |
When I ignore the present and forget the past, I really think our best times are ahead. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2166 |
Remember what Kellyanne Conway said about seeing the goodness in his heart? |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2167 |
" Don't worry we still have all that money in our 401K' |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2168 |
Your mother seemed to enjoy her visit. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2169 |
I guess Trump' first term wasn't too bad. |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2170 |
OK, I admit I voted for him. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2171 |
Still glad you voted for Trump? |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2172 |
Is there someone else? |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2173 |
Well, you always told me things could be worse. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2174 |
Well, I heard from some very reliable sources that a brand new affordable medical plan will be offered in only two more days. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2175 |
I guess ordering a pizza is out. |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2176 |
And if I had asked for directions, it would have 'avoided all this' how, exactly? |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2177 |
Should I focus on asset growth or wealth preservation? |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2178 |
Hey, I didn't vote for him either. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2179 |
As I've said all along, not even if you are the last man alive. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2180 |
You know what? It’s about time we had a President who’s not afraid to shake things up. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2181 |
Well I don't think Hillary would have done any better. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2182 |
If you say, "let's start from scratch," I'll kill you. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2183 |
As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted... |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2184 |
Marry me and half is yours. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2185 |
Are you available to re-populate this afternoon? |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2186 |
Ah. alone at last! |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2187 |
Okay, Okay! Yes. I voted for him. |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2188 |
I think we both agree now, cooking is not your forte. |
1.2771 |
0.06015 |
83 |
64 |
15 |
4 |
2189 |
Ok, ok - I'm listening. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2190 |
Make the wasteland great again. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2191 |
But now we can make it great again! |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2192 |
But her emails though. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2193 |
Now this is deplorable. |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2194 |
He did say he was going to decrease the size of the government. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2195 |
It's my vote, and I don't regret it. |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2196 |
Do you smell gas? |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2197 |
You just couldn't wait the five minutes before trying to relight the grill. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2198 |
On the contrary, Ira, I think it's the perfect time to discuss the bathroom remodel. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2199 |
Do you think it's too late to refinance? |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2200 |
Well at least we can finally cancel our E-Harmony accounts. |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2201 |
You said my vote wouldn't matter. |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2202 |
Please, no more beans at supper. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2203 |
You were right. I shouldn't have voted for him. |
1.2771 |
0.06708 |
83 |
67 |
9 |
7 |
2204 |
That was a disaster. |
1.2771 |
0.06255 |
83 |
65 |
13 |
5 |
2205 |
Can we talk now? |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2206 |
So...I'm guessing you used to live around here? |
1.2771 |
0.05505 |
83 |
62 |
19 |
2 |
2207 |
You're sure you read the terms & conditions? |
1.2771 |
0.05766 |
83 |
63 |
17 |
3 |
2208 |
See? Great again. |
1.2771 |
0.06485 |
83 |
66 |
11 |
6 |
2209 |
Don't you love the peace and quiet? |
1.2738 |
0.05952 |
84 |
65 |
15 |
4 |
2210 |
Well,you don't see any more swamps,do you? |
1.2738 |
0.05952 |
84 |
65 |
15 |
4 |
2211 |
Does it really matter if I don't put the toilet seat down? |
1.2738 |
0.06189 |
84 |
66 |
13 |
5 |
2212 |
It's a good time to buy. We're expecting the area to gentrify. |
1.2738 |
0.05706 |
84 |
64 |
17 |
3 |
2213 |
Now will you listen to me? |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2214 |
Don't blame me. I voted for Hillary. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2215 |
You free tonight ? |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2216 |
Personally, I prefer the hole in the ground a couple of blocks over. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2217 |
I think this gives us a chance to start over. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2218 |
We were lucky to have these seats. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2219 |
I understand. But, what's for dinner? |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2220 |
You first |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2221 |
I guess all that's left is football and mixed martial arts. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2222 |
This never happens when my family visits. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2223 |
How was traffic? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2224 |
I'm still not going to date you. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2225 |
So, we're agreed, direct election of the president, if we find any more survivors. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2226 |
You probably don't have to deal with my mother any more. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2227 |
Okay, fine. We'll do it your way. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2228 |
Flatulence!" "What flatulence? |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2229 |
Maybe not your dream vacation, but it's affordable. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2230 |
I think we can qualify for a lower real estate tax assessment. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2231 |
I'm Evan. I'm the last man on Earth. And you are? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2232 |
Let's not try to repopulate the world. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2233 |
So, I guess the meeting's off? |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2234 |
Well, he saved those Indiana jobs from going to Mexico, didn't he? |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2235 |
Where shall we go for lunch? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2236 |
Actually, it IS the end of the world Frances. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2237 |
Not much. You? |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2238 |
You were right, I shouldn't have pushed that button. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2239 |
His cap needs a new slogan. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2240 |
The label clearly said 'Dry Clean Only.' |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2241 |
I hope the New Yorker's cartoon caption is not yet another obvious reference to Donald Trump |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2242 |
So, about that 'last man on Earth' thing ... |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2243 |
Maybe voting for Trump was a bad idea. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2244 |
I wonder if, in retrospect, he regrets tweeting, 'Go ahead, make my day.' |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2245 |
Sad! |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2246 |
This gives a whole new meaning to 'starting over'...... |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2247 |
Somewhere, Hillary Clinton is saying, "I told you so." |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2248 |
He said that The Button was so small, he mashed it with his elbow when he took the call from Putin. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2249 |
Technically dear this IS the last place on Earth |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2250 |
So... what's for dinner. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2251 |
But those emails... |
1.2683 |
0.06952 |
82 |
68 |
6 |
8 |
2252 |
We'll always have Manhattan. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2253 |
Make America great again. Step 1. Blow it up. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2254 |
Finally, alone, just the two of us. |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2255 |
I meant it when I said, "not even if you were the last man on earth." |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2256 |
Between you and me... |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2257 |
I still think she was hiding something in those emails. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2258 |
I suppose I never really considered the ramifications of voting to "shake things up." |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2259 |
OK, I take back what I said about if we were the last people on Earth. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2260 |
Nope, now is not a good time to talk about us. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2261 |
Maybe we should consider a new anger management counselor. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2262 |
I guess you were serious when you said you wouldn't have sex with me if I was the last man on Earth. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2263 |
I think the divorce is going quite well, don't you? |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2264 |
Greatness begins with a clean slate. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2265 |
Don't give me that look. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2266 |
Don’t ever insult Melania again. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2267 |
I like missionary. You? |
1.2683 |
0.06952 |
82 |
68 |
6 |
8 |
2268 |
What's that perfume you're wearing? |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2269 |
I blame Nixon. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2270 |
Let's time travel to the future, you said. It will be a magical utopia, you said. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2271 |
You said, and I quote, "affordable timeshare, with plenty of warm sun." |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2272 |
You never should've made fun of his hands. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2273 |
Does it change your mind that I am the last guy left? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2274 |
I warned you what a careless tweet could do. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2275 |
Well, there's no one else to nag now. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2276 |
Honey, the points were going to expire if we didn't use them. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2277 |
Are you waiting for the bus too? |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2278 |
A minor setback. He's still going to make America great again! |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2279 |
I want a trial separation |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2280 |
Oh come on, 2016 wasn't that bad. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2281 |
But what if Godot doesn't come? |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2282 |
I don't care if you are the last man on earth, I don't want to get married. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2283 |
all i said was pull my finger |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2284 |
I forget - you would or you wouldn't if I was the last man on earth? |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2285 |
I suppose you think I had something to do with this? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2286 |
But SHE used a private email server! |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2287 |
Maybe we should try divorce mediation, after all. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2288 |
They bombed our house to make America great again? |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2289 |
I never really liked this place, anyway. |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2290 |
I'm now thinking we should have voted for Hillary. |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2291 |
I told you the phrase "Great Again" was subject to interpretation. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2292 |
Alright. We'll go out for dinner. |
1.2683 |
0.05501 |
82 |
62 |
18 |
2 |
2293 |
Next time, let's not invite your sister. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2294 |
Okay - this one is my fault. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2295 |
Hi, my name is Adam. Mind if I call you Eve? |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2296 |
So, apparently this place used to be a swamp. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2297 |
Yeah, but can you imagine how much worse it would've been if we elected somebody who was AGAINST Russia? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2298 |
Not with a bang or a whimper, after all, but a tweet. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2299 |
I'm ready to discuss a cease-fire. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2300 |
Who woulda thought making us great again meant starting from scratch? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2301 |
location,location,location |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2302 |
I thought you knew how to cook. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2303 |
Sorry I forgot to remove the lint from the dryer. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2304 |
Want to move in with me? |
1.2683 |
0.05220 |
82 |
61 |
20 |
1 |
2305 |
Just think how worse it would be if Hillary had been elected. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2306 |
They'll give us the replacement plan any day now. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2307 |
You want to go for a bite? |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2308 |
How ironic is it that now there's peace and quiet. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2309 |
Not much. What's new with you? |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2310 |
And I supposed you would like to blame this on me as well |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2311 |
Wanted peace, but got quiet instead. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2312 |
Then I said "I double dare you!" |
1.2683 |
0.05501 |
82 |
62 |
18 |
2 |
2313 |
Do you wanna maybe rethink when you said, 'Not if you were the last man on Earth'? |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2314 |
In times like these, we need marshmallows. |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2315 |
I'm an optimist, so I would call it the "beginning of nights" |
1.2683 |
0.06732 |
82 |
67 |
8 |
7 |
2316 |
....and this was just day one of the new administration. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2317 |
I can't wait for Season 2! |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2318 |
All in all, the first week of the new administration could have been worse. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2319 |
Should we say something? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2320 |
But Hillary's emails... |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2321 |
Remember, we elected him. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2322 |
Great, now there's no one behind the DMV counter. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2323 |
I'm sorry but Your policy doesn't cover 'total devastation'. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2324 |
...did I mention all the natural lighting? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2325 |
Are you saying we don't have each other? |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2326 |
So, what is it you wanted to talk about? |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2327 |
"Vote for him", you said. "He'll make America great again", you said. |
1.2683 |
0.06952 |
82 |
68 |
6 |
8 |
2328 |
Should we order in? |
1.2683 |
0.05501 |
82 |
62 |
18 |
2 |
2329 |
It's amazing what you can accomplish with a tweet. |
1.2683 |
0.05501 |
82 |
62 |
18 |
2 |
2330 |
Point taken. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2331 |
Well, now your only choice for a date IS the last man on earth. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2332 |
Our divorce was hard on everyone. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2333 |
I have an idea for a Twilight Zone episode. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2334 |
Did you remember to turn off the bathroom light? |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2335 |
Had to vote for him, didn't you? |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2336 |
So this is what's at the bottom of a swamp. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2337 |
Now that the swamp's been drained, what's next? |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2338 |
Well, now we know. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2339 |
Madam, I'm Adam |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2340 |
So much for the presidential honeymoon. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2341 |
We can check that off our bucket list. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2342 |
Contemporary is out. Apocalyptic is in. |
1.2683 |
0.06023 |
82 |
64 |
14 |
4 |
2343 |
I always fantasized about this moment but with palm trees and sand. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2344 |
I'm sorry. |
1.2683 |
0.06268 |
82 |
65 |
12 |
5 |
2345 |
"We'll always have Aleppo. |
1.2683 |
0.06504 |
82 |
66 |
10 |
6 |
2346 |
Well, there should be plenty of jobs now. |
1.2683 |
0.05768 |
82 |
63 |
16 |
3 |
2347 |
I wouldn't marry you if you were the last person on Earth. |
1.2651 |
0.06433 |
83 |
67 |
10 |
6 |
2348 |
On the bright side, there will be no traffic going home. |
1.2651 |
0.05444 |
83 |
63 |
18 |
2 |
2349 |
What are we saving the good china for? |
1.2651 |
0.06658 |
83 |
68 |
8 |
7 |
2350 |
'Lucky you. Now I am the last man on earth.' |
1.2651 |
0.06201 |
83 |
66 |
12 |
5 |
2351 |
I told you his Tweet would cause this. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2352 |
She’s a sore loser but she plays an impressive trump card. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2353 |
Now that I am the last man on earth, do you want to reconsider that date? |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2354 |
Now then, where were we? |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2355 |
See honey, I told you everything would be fine. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2356 |
Alright already, no more gas furnace repair correspondence courses. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2357 |
It was impossible to get a table. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2358 |
Can I call you Eve? |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2359 |
I know we did it to other countries, that doesn't mean they should've done it back, Barb. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2360 |
how the fuck is this my fault |
1.2625 |
0.06595 |
80 |
65 |
9 |
6 |
2361 |
Next time, let's just talk. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2362 |
I was right! It took only one week for Trump to blow up the world. You said it would take a month. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2363 |
Are you still voting Trump again in 2020? |
1.2625 |
0.06595 |
80 |
65 |
9 |
6 |
2364 |
The people have spoken. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2365 |
I'm still not over the emails. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2366 |
What kind of name is Eve 2.0? |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2367 |
On the bright side ,we won't have to keep up or even put up with the Joneses any longer. |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2368 |
There you go again. Did you even hear a word I said? |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2369 |
"I'm still glad I voted for him". |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2370 |
Well, in order to make it great again we had to destroy it. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2371 |
These aren't the ruins they mentioned in the guide book. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2372 |
I told you voting for Trump was a mistake. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2373 |
Marcy, it's over. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2374 |
OK, I admit I voted for him. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2375 |
I don't feel great. Do you feel great? |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2376 |
You win! It only took two weeks since he was inaugerated. |
1.2625 |
0.06831 |
80 |
66 |
7 |
7 |
2377 |
Bomb shelters are so 50s, you said. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2378 |
You can't blame this one on my mother. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2379 |
I'm quitting smoking tomorrow. |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2380 |
We've been through worse. Remember Trump? |
1.2625 |
0.06595 |
80 |
65 |
9 |
6 |
2381 |
How about next year we skip the Historic Aleppo tour? |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2382 |
I know you said "not if you were the last man in the world." I hoped maybe you had reconsidered. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2383 |
I told you we should have been listening to the weather channel. |
1.2625 |
0.05260 |
80 |
60 |
19 |
1 |
2384 |
I told you I had a gluten allergy. |
1.2625 |
0.06831 |
80 |
66 |
7 |
7 |
2385 |
But you did say, 'Whatever it takes to get rid of the rats'—and now you've changed your mind?! |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2386 |
Well, that’s one way to drain the swamp. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2387 |
Alexa, cancel armageddon. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2388 |
Yeah but her emails. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2389 |
Well, hindsight is always 2020, but I still think 'Make America Great Again' was an appealing concept. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2390 |
Okay! You win! I should have gone with Hillary! |
1.2625 |
0.07058 |
80 |
67 |
5 |
8 |
2391 |
This is not what I thought he meant by "great" |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2392 |
Well, do you know any restaurants on the west side? |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2393 |
This neighborhood will only get better. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2394 |
Do you think the buses have stopped running? |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2395 |
I'd vote for him again. |
1.2625 |
0.07058 |
80 |
67 |
5 |
8 |
2396 |
I think the Russians hacked TripAdvisor |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2397 |
Good thing you canned all that salsa. |
1.2625 |
0.06595 |
80 |
65 |
9 |
6 |
2398 |
I thought retirement would have more to offer. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2399 |
Not smitten. Smote. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2400 |
Where do you want to scavenge for dinner? |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2401 |
And that's why there was an electoral college |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2402 |
We should have agreed to negotiate. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2403 |
Don't look at me ; I didn't vote for him. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2404 |
I suggest we stop here and save the rest for our therapy. |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2405 |
Speed dating rules, okay? |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2406 |
I never imagined that "Make America Great Again" required a complete makeover. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2407 |
No, I never got around to watching the final episode. So you wouldn't be spoiling it. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2408 |
I'll see what the deductible is on our policy. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2409 |
Well, thank God for those emails! Just imagine the fix we'd be in if Hillary had won. |
1.2625 |
0.06831 |
80 |
66 |
7 |
7 |
2410 |
He did say he'd shake things up. |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2411 |
At least he's using the right e-mail server. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2412 |
Now aren't you glad that we didn't buy that expensive rug. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2413 |
Does it also mean that tragedy equals comedy minus time? |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2414 |
So, how has YOUR January 21st been? |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2415 |
You're right, it's not that great. |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2416 |
See? I told you voting for him wouldn't matter. We're just fine. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2417 |
I still don't regret my vote. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2418 |
Did you hear that ? |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2419 |
Yes, I still don’t like her; and no, I would not change my vote now. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2420 |
Give him a chance, would you? He's only been in office for a week. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2421 |
It has to get bad, before it gets 'great again'! |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2422 |
Don't blame me. I voted for Her |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2423 |
You are using the word "literally" wrong. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2424 |
I'm starting to think the liberal elites were right about Trump. |
1.2625 |
0.06831 |
80 |
66 |
7 |
7 |
2425 |
At least he drained the swamp... |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2426 |
I guess now there is no longer a need for The Wall. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2427 |
Unfriending them just wasn't enough. |
1.2625 |
0.05260 |
80 |
60 |
19 |
1 |
2428 |
It's not the end of the world, Eve. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2429 |
Adventure and frugal were the only guidelines you gave me on picking our vacation Muriel. |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2430 |
Isn't our second date a little early to start talking about repopulating? |
1.2625 |
0.05831 |
80 |
62 |
15 |
3 |
2431 |
Hillary should have campaigned in Wisconsin |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2432 |
So, do you think the bus will be on time? |
1.2625 |
0.05260 |
80 |
60 |
19 |
1 |
2433 |
How is this is my fault? |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2434 |
Ok, I'll grant you the weather does seem to be changing. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2435 |
What's a nice girl like you doing in a post-apocalyptic world like this? |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2436 |
Well, at least the neighbor's dog won't wake you up in the morning. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2437 |
Well, I guess it is a little ironic that I was stockpiling gasoline, explosives and kitchen matches in anticipation of an apocalypse. |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2438 |
They claim his finger slipped when he gave someone the bird. |
1.2625 |
0.06595 |
80 |
65 |
9 |
6 |
2439 |
I understand real estate is very cheap here in Aleppo. |
1.2625 |
0.06350 |
80 |
64 |
11 |
5 |
2440 |
Now will you stop smoking! |
1.2625 |
0.06595 |
80 |
65 |
9 |
6 |
2441 |
Okay. Now getting back to Hillary's e-mails. |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2442 |
"Well, I guess that's that". |
1.2625 |
0.06595 |
80 |
65 |
9 |
6 |
2443 |
Okay, I admit it: I shouldn't have kept saying, 'That's only what he says, not what he means.' |
1.2625 |
0.06096 |
80 |
63 |
13 |
4 |
2444 |
I've always wanted to start from scratch. |
1.2625 |
0.05553 |
80 |
61 |
17 |
2 |
2445 |
Don't worry dear, Trump will eventually get the hang of it. |
1.2593 |
0.06521 |
81 |
66 |
9 |
6 |
2446 |
Is it really the end of the world if I don't visit your mother? |
1.2593 |
0.06280 |
81 |
65 |
11 |
5 |
2447 |
Yes, I promise I'll never try to make dinner for us again, Dear..... |
1.2561 |
0.05964 |
82 |
65 |
13 |
4 |
2448 |
But the important thing is we haven't compromised our principles. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2449 |
What was it you were saying about "last man on earth?" |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2450 |
Okay, yes, you had a point. But were we supposed to just ignore those emails? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2451 |
Now, what did you want to talk about before we were so rudely interrupted? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2452 |
I *know* you're the last woman on Earth. It's a figure of speech! |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2453 |
My day was fine, how was yours? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2454 |
I told you we should have taken the nuclear holocaust rider. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2455 |
Don't make this into a bigger thing. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2456 |
Turns out, we paid for it. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2457 |
I told you a vacation in Syria is a bad idea. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2458 |
Great again? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2459 |
Yeah, but at least he got rid of Obamacare! |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2460 |
Well, if I had to guess, I'd say Eve. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2461 |
And that'why I think Bernie would have won |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2462 |
Well, I DO consider this a date. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2463 |
Maybe we should eat out tonight? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2464 |
At least I heard the wall on the southern border is still intact. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2465 |
If it didn't spark joy, I got rid of it. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2466 |
I thought Vladimir and The Donald were friends! |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2467 |
Well, at least this solves our illegal immigration problem. |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2468 |
I'd like to have a nuclear family some day. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2469 |
What were we fighting about? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2470 |
You still want that divorce? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2471 |
Yeah, but Hillary's emails. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2472 |
CheapMideastVacations.com? Good job, honey! |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2473 |
January 21st isn't as bad as I thought it would be |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2474 |
I don't suppose we can get takeout. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2475 |
The first 100 days |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2476 |
Time to enjoy our empty nest! |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2477 |
Well, I never promised you a rose garden. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2478 |
Face it, Doris--our son needs help. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2479 |
You told me to use the plunger. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2480 |
It's funny how focused our conversations can be when you wipe away all the distractions. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2481 |
Well, at least we have our health. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2482 |
I knew this was coming, but I thought he'd at least get sworn into office first! |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2483 |
Next time you tap your ruby slippers please don't say, "There's no place like Homs." |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2484 |
Okay, okay, okay. Maybe, just maybe, Hillary would have been better. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2485 |
Really not sure where Amazon will be leaving our deliveries. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2486 |
Don't look at me like that, I voted for Hillary! |
1.2532 |
0.06853 |
79 |
66 |
6 |
7 |
2487 |
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2488 |
Maybe now you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior... |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2489 |
Did you really mean it when you said you wouldn't sleep with me even if I was the only man left on Earth? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2490 |
I don't think this is the "fresh start" the marriage counsellor envisioned for us. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2491 |
I told you to read the directions. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2492 |
I want a divorce. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2493 |
I think the election turned out fine. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2494 |
Still better than Hillary. |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2495 |
Honey, I think I forgot to turn the gas off. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2496 |
I promise, once our luggage arrives you'll feel much better. |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2497 |
My, those were good beans! |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2498 |
Now will you marry me? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2499 |
Who'd of thought a Tweet could do all this? |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2500 |
What do we do now, Eve? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2501 |
Do you mind if I use your bathroom? |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2502 |
I forgot my safe word. |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2503 |
It appears that gerrymandering has side effects. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2504 |
Well, we knew Trump was going to change things |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2505 |
Told you Bernie was the answer. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2506 |
We won. Still not happy? |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2507 |
All right we're done with the community property. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2508 |
Makin' America great again requires starting from zero. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2509 |
The good news is the furniture arrives tomorrow. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2510 |
I slept with her once, four years ago. Why are we still talking about this? |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2511 |
I think we should go with House Number Two. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2512 |
Look on the bright side. Hell didn't freeze over. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2513 |
Shall we eat out tonight? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2514 |
I told you that vote for Jill Stein was a waste... |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2515 |
I'm just saying it's a pretty big coincidence that this happened right when you asked me to do the dishes. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2516 |
I assume this answers your question. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2517 |
Yes. I put a fork in the toaster. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2518 |
I suppose this means the bus will be late again. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2519 |
Why can't you ever look at the bright side? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2520 |
Are you still mad at me? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2521 |
Hi Eve. I'm Adam. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2522 |
Do you think the bus will be on time today? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2523 |
Well, I'm the last man on earth. How about that date? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2524 |
Any plans next Tuesday? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2525 |
And to think he did all of this in his first month. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2526 |
This is probably an exception to needing a formal introduction first. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2527 |
Yeah, but think how bad it would've been if she'd won. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2528 |
I called Geico but the phone was dead. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2529 |
You said I needed a hobby |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2530 |
I pick the next vacation destination. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2531 |
Yes, but she did have her own email server |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2532 |
Well at least the election is over. |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2533 |
Did I mention that I'm thinking of becoming a vegan? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2534 |
I'll miss Mexico too. But it was cheaper than building the wall. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2535 |
How do you feel about procreation? |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2536 |
Now what? I leveled the playing field...... |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2537 |
Well this time Mexico can pay for it. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2538 |
I told you it was off season! |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2539 |
Yes, he did say "you want to be unpredictable" with nuclear weapons, but you're totally twisting what he meant. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2540 |
I’ve always wanted to learn Russian. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2541 |
We'll always have your icy glare. |
1.2532 |
0.05243 |
79 |
60 |
18 |
1 |
2542 |
No, I asked you to turn off the stove. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2543 |
Can we at least agree he was right about Putin's strength? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2544 |
Care to join me in starting-up the human population again? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2545 |
At least you don't have to deal with my clutter anymore. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2546 |
I think the next election should be decided by the popular vote |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2547 |
Minor side effects are to be expected when making America great again. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2548 |
But what were you cooking? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2549 |
I thought he said he was going to make America great again. |
1.2532 |
0.06853 |
79 |
66 |
6 |
7 |
2550 |
So what do you think of Trump now? |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2551 |
That thing you said about 'Not even if you were the last man on Earth.' Did you mean it? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2552 |
Finally, America is great again. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2553 |
No, you're the one who said, 'Vote for Trump. What could go wrong?' |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2554 |
I'm still peeved about those emails. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2555 |
So now I suppose we can put your Degree in Dystopian Literature to good use? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2556 |
But Hillary had a private email server! |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2557 |
It could have been worse |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2558 |
I love what you've done with the space. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2559 |
I blame fake news. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2560 |
At least now, Trump will not be reelected. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2561 |
So, are we thinking pizza tonight? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2562 |
You can't beat the taxes. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2563 |
You should have been here yesterday |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2564 |
I thought you turned off the coffeemaker. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2565 |
Just think of all the celebrity deaths. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2566 |
So, should I cancel my vasectomy appointment? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2567 |
I think our side won. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2568 |
If we give President Trump another four years, I'm sure he'll turn things around. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2569 |
Looked like a little innocent drone to me. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2570 |
I told you it would blow over. |
1.2532 |
0.05243 |
79 |
60 |
18 |
1 |
2571 |
Don't worry - fake-news |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2572 |
For the hundredth time, I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2573 |
I doubt we'll see a taxi for a while. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2574 |
I don't understand. The bus is usually right on time. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2575 |
I can't think of anything funny, either. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2576 |
OK, fine. He didn't make it great again. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2577 |
You always said not even if you were last man in the world. Care to reconsider? |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2578 |
What makes you so sure it was Russia? |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2579 |
Ok, NOW your mother can't stay with us. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2580 |
Where do you see yourself in five years? |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2581 |
He won. She lost. Get over it. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2582 |
Honey, this is all they have in our price range. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2583 |
Al Roker was sure off base with this one |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2584 |
Don't ever light up a cigarette after judging a Chili cook off. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2585 |
I still think Hillary shouldn't have had a private email server. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2586 |
I'm glad we spent all that time on choosing drapes. |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2587 |
Is this what he meant by "Making America great again?" |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2588 |
So...would you sleep with me now? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2589 |
Well, at least we didn't vote for the candidate with the private email server |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2590 |
Is this a bad time to tell you I cancelled our homeowner's insurance to pay the health insurance deductible. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2591 |
Honey, I don't think this has anything to do with my leaving the toilet seat up. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2592 |
Have you been on many other first dates lately? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2593 |
How great is this? Let me tell you. It's so, so great. Believe me. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2594 |
What community property? |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2595 |
I suppose your'e going to blame THIS on me? |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2596 |
He tweeted WHAT about Vladimir? |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2597 |
That was one hell of a Tweetstorm |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2598 |
This isn’t the post-election outcome I voted for!! |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2599 |
Well, I hope the 2020 Inauguration event is better than this one. |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2600 |
Thirsty? |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2601 |
The Trumpet did sound! |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2602 |
Now that we got that out of the way. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2603 |
Apparently, 'DRAIN THE SWAMP' was a metaphor. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2604 |
I wonder how my 401k is doing? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2605 |
I thought he would be good for the economy. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2606 |
You said you wanted a disruptive change |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2607 |
... but you can call me Adam. |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2608 |
Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have voted for Jill Stein. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2609 |
You always said, "only if we were the last people on earth"... |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2610 |
Now he can deliver on his infrastructure-spending promise. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2611 |
You voted for him, not me. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2612 |
You have to break a few eggs to make America great again. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2613 |
Wow, that must have been some tweet! |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2614 |
It's been a blast, Helen, but I'm outta here! |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2615 |
I see you're not wearing your 'Make America Great Again' hat |
1.2532 |
0.06612 |
79 |
65 |
8 |
6 |
2616 |
Ok, we gave him a chance. Now what? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2617 |
So, I voted for him, so, sue me. |
1.2532 |
0.05243 |
79 |
60 |
18 |
1 |
2618 |
I wonder what's holding up the bus this time. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2619 |
Next year, I'm voting for the Democrat. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2620 |
We're HERE dear, and we are NO WAY paying a cancellation fee! |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2621 |
So, you said if we were the last two people on earth... |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2622 |
Feel better now? |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2623 |
Let's just put it out on the table that neither of us would be our first choice to repopulate the planet and go from there. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2624 |
I think that this vacation was a total disaster. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2625 |
Ok, Ok. You were right that it was dangerous to let him near the button. |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2626 |
Really. It's up to us to repopulate. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2627 |
Sure, but SHE had her own email server |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2628 |
I bet I know who you voted for. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2629 |
I'm sorry I clicked on that link. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2630 |
Split a cab? |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2631 |
Why do we always have to bring other people into our fights? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2632 |
I was just trying to surprise you with dinner . . . and then Whoosh! |
1.2532 |
0.06853 |
79 |
66 |
6 |
7 |
2633 |
I liked him. He said what was on his mind. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2634 |
Yes, but emails. |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2635 |
Do you think someone will do something about the election now? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2636 |
He's running for a second term. |
1.2532 |
0.06853 |
79 |
66 |
6 |
7 |
2637 |
Next time let's follow the instructions! |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2638 |
I'm sorry about the souffle |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2639 |
What's the burning issue this time? |
1.2532 |
0.05829 |
79 |
62 |
14 |
3 |
2640 |
So "Ms. I'm-voting-for-Jill-Stein," happy? |
1.2532 |
0.06361 |
79 |
64 |
10 |
5 |
2641 |
"Fine. Next time, I'll consider voting Democrat. |
1.2532 |
0.06101 |
79 |
63 |
12 |
4 |
2642 |
At least we don't have to visit your folks this summer. |
1.2532 |
0.05544 |
79 |
61 |
16 |
2 |
2643 |
Wanna fool around? |
1.2500 |
0.06033 |
80 |
64 |
12 |
4 |
2644 |
It doesn't feel like a Sunday. |
1.2500 |
0.06289 |
80 |
65 |
10 |
5 |
2645 |
Why, I had a great day! After 21 years on the job, I finally got to push the button. |
1.2500 |
0.06536 |
80 |
66 |
8 |
6 |
2646 |
Please, no more garage-sale pressure cookers! |
1.2500 |
0.06033 |
80 |
64 |
12 |
4 |
2647 |
It was only a little charcoal starter. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2648 |
But it looked so easy when Emeril did it, honey. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2649 |
Can we just keep this between us? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2650 |
How, exactly, was this my fault? |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2651 |
Crazy first hundred days. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2652 |
You didn't have to blow up like that! |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2653 |
I told you D.C. would be a bad place to visit this month. |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2654 |
Let's just hope somebody wins soon. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2655 |
Yes, I would still vote for him! |
1.2436 |
0.05221 |
78 |
60 |
17 |
1 |
2656 |
Well, I think I've been exposed to your explosive side... |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2657 |
My facts still say he was a good president. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2658 |
At least, he built a wall! |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2659 |
...but if only one Russian is left -- we won. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2660 |
Thoughts? |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2661 |
But it's good for the shareholders. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2662 |
Come here often? |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2663 |
Now aren’t you glad I paid for the lower deductible? |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2664 |
No, we're not great again yet, but it's a start |
1.2436 |
0.06873 |
78 |
66 |
5 |
7 |
2665 |
Yes Meryl, yes, you may have underestimated his temper tantrums. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2666 |
Your move. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2667 |
Believe me, the deal he made with Putin was absolutely terrific! |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2668 |
Did you really mean it when you said 'not if you were the last man on earth'? |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2669 |
We should have voted for Hillary. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2670 |
Still think he's going to "Make America Great Again"? |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2671 |
So, about that 'last man on Earth' thing ... |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2672 |
Yeah, but still, the swamp was drained. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2673 |
Funny how life inmates our marriage. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2674 |
Oh, yeah? But Benghazi! Missing emails! |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2675 |
I think this would be a good time to discuss our future together |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2676 |
I didn't promise you he would be here! I said we could go and wait, but Godot, you know, could be busy... |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2677 |
seriously....what did you have to lose? |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2678 |
We can still be friends. You make it sound like it's the end of the world! |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2679 |
NOW will you agree that the Electoral College should be abolished? |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2680 |
Oh, and you weren't curious about the reset button. |
1.2436 |
0.05221 |
78 |
60 |
17 |
1 |
2681 |
But her e-mails... |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2682 |
But still, her email server. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2683 |
No, I do not know where you left the remote. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2684 |
When they said this place was going to experience a population explosion, I had no idea. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2685 |
And SHE deleted those emails! |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2686 |
Where should we eat? |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2687 |
Kiss and make up? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2688 |
It's important that we retaliate swiftly. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2689 |
On the bright side, our yard looks better than the Joneses. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2690 |
So, do you still think he's going to make it great again? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2691 |
At least he used a secure e-mail server to do it. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2692 |
Look on the bright side. At least the lesser of two evils didn't win. |
1.2436 |
0.06873 |
78 |
66 |
5 |
7 |
2693 |
We'll have to take the trick-of-treaters more seriously next year. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2694 |
I'm in the mood for love. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2695 |
It's like when I'm with you nothing else can bother me. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2696 |
SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY TODAY |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2697 |
see i told you he'd drain the swamp |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2698 |
Well, 2016 was interesting |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2699 |
Well, I feel great again. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2700 |
Let's not tell anyone we met on Cinder. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2701 |
We should never have unfriended them. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2702 |
Well, I certainly haven't forgotten about her emails. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2703 |
I definitely preferred the Age of Aquarius. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2704 |
I warned you the lawyers would take it all. |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2705 |
I'd only heard of the 'Scorned Woman' effect. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2706 |
Well, if he's going to make America great again, it's better to start from scratch. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2707 |
Maybe he meant South America. |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2708 |
So, you're still standing by your vote? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2709 |
Well, love is a battlefield. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2710 |
Do you still want to see LA LA LAND? |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2711 |
Now will you sign the papers? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2712 |
Please don't say 'I told you so,' but you were right about that mattress tag. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2713 |
Bad day at work sweetie? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2714 |
Yes, Dear, I heard you say you smelled gas, but the Giants were about to score. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2715 |
to think it all started with the Tweet heard 'round the world... |
1.2436 |
0.05221 |
78 |
60 |
17 |
1 |
2716 |
Touchy battery in my smart phone. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2717 |
At least our molecular structure remains intact. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2718 |
We'll find out what's happened. Hand me the remote. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2719 |
For the sake of argument, let's just imagine I AM the last man on Earth. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2720 |
Given the current political landscape, 2016 seems like such a distant memory. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2721 |
You were right. We should have tried marriage counselling. |
1.2436 |
0.05221 |
78 |
60 |
17 |
1 |
2722 |
You started it. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2723 |
Go ahead, blame it on Trump. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2724 |
What, we're still together?? |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2725 |
On the bright side, I no longer feel bloated and gassy. |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2726 |
So much for the elephant in the room. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2727 |
For the last time, yes I'm sure I locked the front-door before we left. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2728 |
And they also took away my Obamacare. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2729 |
Well... not quite the first 100 days I was expecting. Coffee? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2730 |
I never thought I would meet someone who also liked earthquakes. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2731 |
Ok! Alright! I'll never invite the guys over again! |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2732 |
At least he didn't have a private email server. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2733 |
I still think he was a better choice than Hillary. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2734 |
Well, he did get rid of all the Muslims. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2735 |
I told you I'm no chef. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2736 |
OK, maybe laissez-faire capitalism isn't effective 100% of the time, but MOST of the time it works just fine. |
1.2436 |
0.07111 |
78 |
67 |
3 |
8 |
2737 |
I clearly said, "the one on the left is the reset button and the one on the right is the launch button" |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2738 |
Not even if you were the last man on earth... |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2739 |
"Like a box of chocolates", you say? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2740 |
Next vacation let's check with TripAdvisor before booking. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2741 |
I can't remember if I closed the garage door. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2742 |
Well... I'm now the last man on Earth. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2743 |
Is that a"no"? |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2744 |
It would have been worse if Hillary was elected. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2745 |
Would you vote differently next time? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2746 |
You asked me to nuke dinner. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2747 |
I always thought it was the First 100 days that were significant, not just Day 1. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2748 |
I won't admit anything. I still think Hillary would have been worse. |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2749 |
Now, as I was saying. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2750 |
I thought you would cancel my Trump vote! |
1.2436 |
0.06873 |
78 |
66 |
5 |
7 |
2751 |
So, how do you think the date is going so far? |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2752 |
I voted for Trump...You? |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2753 |
Eve, you once told me 'Adam, I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.' Care to reconsider? |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2754 |
I told you not to antagonize him on Twitter. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2755 |
It seems you and I have hit a rough patch. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2756 |
When you said, if you were the last man on earth... |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2757 |
Well, at least he tweeted us first |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2758 |
I got rid of the spider. Satisfied? |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2759 |
Not that I'd ever say, "I told you so". |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2760 |
Who knew Twitter could be so dangerous? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2761 |
Ok, ok, I voted for him. I never thought he'd WIN. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2762 |
Oh? You take this as a sign that Putin isn't our friend? |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2763 |
I am sure this is just part of the plan to make America great again |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2764 |
I take back what I said I wouldn't do even if we were the last two people on this earth. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2765 |
Well you started it. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2766 |
I already told you: I wouldn't kiss you if you were the last man on earth. |
1.2436 |
0.06626 |
78 |
65 |
7 |
6 |
2767 |
There goes our theatre subscription. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2768 |
Is this what he meant by "Making America great again?" |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2769 |
I guess we should have asked how he was going to be the greatest job creator God has ever seen. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2770 |
I realize it was a good deal, you booked well in advance, and it's Aleppo's high season but you had to buy non-refundable tickets? |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2771 |
Upside: You said you wanted to downsize. |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2772 |
My name's Adam and you are? |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2773 |
Yes, I was a boy scout. Why? |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2774 |
But I'm the only man left! |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2775 |
I think your Flambe' went FlamBoom. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2776 |
I thought it was just a video game. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2777 |
I still wouldn't vote for anyone with a private e-mail server. |
1.2436 |
0.05221 |
78 |
60 |
17 |
1 |
2778 |
Well, we bought this house for the land. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2779 |
So Alice, tell me again why building a bomb shelter was the most ridiculous idea you ever heard. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2780 |
I told you, we should have voted for Hillary! |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2781 |
I said Air BnB, not Air TnT!! |
1.2436 |
0.05531 |
78 |
61 |
15 |
2 |
2782 |
Not my idea of "great again." |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2783 |
It's the 'we still have each other', that worries me. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2784 |
We are NOT going to your Mother's. |
1.2436 |
0.06103 |
78 |
63 |
11 |
4 |
2785 |
OK, so you were right. And I know Twitter is gone, but I'll bet he finds a way to tell us how bigly he personally destroyed the other guys. |
1.2436 |
0.06370 |
78 |
64 |
9 |
5 |
2786 |
I'm fairly sure today is your day to clean. |
1.2436 |
0.05824 |
78 |
62 |
13 |
3 |
2787 |
Okay, so that wasn't my photo in the profile. I still need you to repopulate the earth with me. |
1.2436 |