Contest #548


Cartoon

548


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started 2016-12-05
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued 2016-12-18 (estimated)
Number of captions 5517
Number of responses 501425
Number of participants 20695


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Well, five acres of popcorn back there says you were. 1.9574 0.02704 963 360 284 319
1 So Major Tom... Do you know how fast you were going? 1.9243 0.03114 898 427 112 359
2 Sir, I don't make the laws of physics I just enforce them. 1.9072 0.02984 754 291 242 221
3 I'm going to need you to take one small step out of the vehicle 1.9029 0.03663 515 205 155 155
4 I don't make the laws of physics, sir. I just enforce them. 1.7760 0.03741 442 197 147 98
5 Sir, please take one small step out of the vehicle. 1.7147 0.04229 347 171 104 72
6 Take one small step out of the vehicle, sir. 1.7105 0.04347 342 174 93 75
7 You call it a glitch in the space-time continuum. I call it a stop sign. 1.7012 0.04432 328 169 88 71
8 I got you doing light in a sound zone. 1.6877 0.04333 317 159 98 60
9 If you stay below the speed of sound you'll hear the sirens next time. 1.6849 0.04310 311 154 101 56
10 First of all, thank you for stopping. 1.6754 0.04318 305 152 100 53
11 You're the first one to actually stop. 1.6745 0.04452 298 152 91 55
12 And I suppose they don't have stop signs in the future either. 1.6745 0.04577 298 157 81 60
13 Sir, I just need you to take one small step out of the vehicle. 1.6744 0.04315 301 149 101 51
14 I clocked you doing light in a sound zone. 1.6734 0.04566 297 156 82 59
15 I clocked you at tomorrow. 1.6733 0.04565 303 161 80 62
16 First, thanks for stopping. 1.6712 0.04595 295 156 80 59
17 ...and I can't stress this enough, do not restart your engine until I've pulled away. 1.6620 0.04763 287 158 68 61
18 Sir, I usually ask this rhetorically, but do you know how fast you were going? 1.6620 0.04554 287 150 84 53
19 the farmer with the field of popcorn would like a word with you... 1.6608 0.04727 286 156 71 59
20 I'm going to have to ask you to take one small step out of your vehicle. 1.6534 0.04642 277 147 79 51
21 Says here you're a flight risk. 1.6509 0.04729 275 149 73 53
22 I see that, but you still need a plate on the front. 1.6496 0.04572 274 143 84 47
23 It's not for speeding. It's for incinerating the guy behind you at the stop sign back there. 1.6496 0.04601 274 144 82 48
24 I'll be honest, the fine will be astronomical. 1.6450 0.04776 262 141 73 48
25 Your re-entry light is out. 1.6431 0.04496 269 138 89 42
26 I know, buddy. Everyone's in a big hurry to get to Canada. 1.6391 0.04695 266 143 76 47
27 Generally mach anything is grounds for a ticket. 1.6308 0.04697 260 140 76 44
28 I'm going to have to take you in. You're a flight risk. 1.6304 0.04868 257 143 66 48
29 A warning this time, but only because you have to live with the fact that I caught you. 1.6150 0.05579 187 104 51 32
30 I see you're from out of town. 1.6148 0.04786 244 133 72 39
31 I don't care if it's Mission Control. Texting is texting. 1.6119 0.05258 219 125 54 40
32 Cool your jets, ace. 1.6083 0.05134 240 141 52 47
33 You rolled through a stop sign three states back. 1.6083 0.04961 240 136 62 42
34 You were speeding; you get a ticket. This is not rocket science. 1.6050 0.05033 238 137 58 43
35 I know WHY you pulled me over, but I'm not sure HOW. 1.6017 0.04505 236 122 86 28
36 So this is the new Honda Viagra... 1.5991 0.04995 232 132 61 39
37 Sir, I'm going to need you to eject from the vehicle. 1.5957 0.05107 230 134 55 41
38 Just leave a little earlier next time.. 1.5957 0.05107 230 134 55 41
39 We respect the sound barrier in this county, son. 1.5885 0.04666 226 121 77 28
40 Trying to get back to November 8? 1.5877 0.05224 228 137 48 43
41 Cool your jets, ace. 1.5856 0.05065 222 128 58 36
42 Then how do you explain the sonic boom? 1.5837 0.05205 221 131 51 39
43 Sir, your registration is 80 years in the future. 1.5837 0.05085 221 128 57 36
44 Nice car, sorry about your penis. 1.5818 0.05496 220 138 36 46
45 Of course I caught up with you. It's a Crown Victoria. 1.5818 0.05145 220 129 54 37
46 Stop calling me Houston. 1.5760 0.05205 217 129 51 37
47 Sir, 495 is the highway number, not the speed limit. 1.5741 0.05184 216 128 52 36
48 I don't care who in Houston you're talking to; you can't be on your phone 1.5701 0.05183 214 127 52 35
49 Your fine is going to be astronomical. 1.5687 0.05199 211 125 52 34
50 Round here we obey the sound barrier, son. 1.5687 0.04931 211 119 64 28
51 I'm going to need you to take one small step for man out of the vehicle, sir. 1.5681 0.05161 213 126 53 34
52 Don't even think about pressing the eject button. 1.5674 0.04490 215 113 82 20
53 Trying to fly under the radar? 1.5660 0.05181 212 126 52 34
54 Sir, do you realize you were going 6,500 in a 50-mile zone? 1.5604 0.04915 207 117 64 26
55 Zero to sixty in a second was impressive, but it was the next ten seconds where we have a problem, Sir. 1.5598 0.05065 209 122 57 30
56 You're not from around here are you? 1.5583 0.04886 206 116 65 25
57 Failure to signal left turn and incinerating my partner. 1.5583 0.05259 206 124 49 33
58 Look around you, son. This here's a fly-over state. 1.5522 0.05079 201 117 57 27
59 As you approach the speed of light, time may slow, but ticket fines go up. 1.5522 0.04980 201 115 61 25
60 I'll overlook the burned out taillights, but I am going to have to cite you for the sonic boom. 1.5522 0.05128 201 118 55 28
61 Your left blinker is out. 1.5522 0.05318 201 122 47 32
62 It's a hybrid. 1.5522 0.05079 201 117 57 27
63 Up there you talk to NASA. Down here you talk to me. 1.5522 0.05176 201 119 53 29
64 Aren't you kind of embarrassed that I caught you? 1.5512 0.04858 205 116 65 24
65 OK, fella, cool your jets. 1.5455 0.05191 198 118 52 28
66 I think you know why I pulled you over. The question is how. 1.5455 0.05288 198 120 48 30
67 Are you wondering why I pulled you over?' "No, I'm wondering how 1.5431 0.05112 197 116 55 26
68 Sorry about your penis. 1.5385 0.05736 195 128 29 38
69 Eject yourself from the vehicle please. 1.5385 0.05153 195 116 53 26
70 Any idea how I pulled you over? 1.5385 0.05153 195 116 53 26
71 Since your vehicle will be impounded over the holidays, I'll call Missile-Tow. 1.5365 0.05470 192 120 41 31
72 Houston, we have a ticket. 1.5340 0.05341 191 117 46 28
73 First of all, thank you for pulling over. 1.5316 0.05415 190 118 43 29
74 Why I stopped you? For holding up the flow of traffic. 1.5291 0.05691 189 123 32 34
75 That's one giant leap for mankind and this small ticket for you. 1.5291 0.05281 189 115 48 26
76 First off, I appreciate you pulling over. 1.5288 0.05024 191 112 57 22
77 It's not smoke - this is a vapemobile. 1.5288 0.05545 191 122 37 32
78 I'm afraid The Force is with me on this one. 1.5266 0.05303 188 115 47 26
79 Let me guess, your other car is a Prius. 1.5243 0.05259 185 112 49 24
80 Well, just the one glass of Tang before I left the office. 1.5243 0.05369 185 114 45 26
81 Please eject from the vehicle sir! 1.5243 0.05146 185 110 53 22
82 Do you know why I pulled you over, or how? 1.5241 0.05432 187 117 42 28
83 First, I want to thank you for stopping. 1.5217 0.05051 184 108 56 20
84 C'mon officer, I was going faster than that. 1.5191 0.05304 183 112 47 24
85 Sir, I'm pulling you over because you ran red lights in New Jersey, and Pennsylvania, and Ohio, and Nebraska, and... 1.5191 0.05189 183 110 51 22
86 I bet you're wondering how I caught you. 1.5191 0.05189 183 110 51 22
87 That's not the speed limit sign, that's Highway 218. 1.5191 0.05131 183 109 53 21
88 You missed that STOP sign in Ohio 1.5191 0.05304 183 112 47 24
89 You failed to signal on re-entry. 1.5165 0.05383 182 113 44 25
90 Bursts of flame don't count as a turn signal 1.5138 0.05349 181 112 45 24
91 May a little less force be with you next time. 1.5138 0.05291 181 111 47 23
92 Don't you want to know how I caught up with you? 1.5138 0.05233 181 110 49 22
93 Let me guess. Your wife's in labor and you live on the moon? 1.5138 0.05518 181 115 39 27
94 After I write up your ticket, please don't start your engine until I've driven off. 1.5138 0.05406 181 113 43 25
95 What about the guy who passed me? 1.5112 0.05239 178 108 49 21
96 You been drinking anything besides Tang? 1.5112 0.05299 178 109 47 22
97 I'm citing you for a broken sound barrier. 1.5112 0.05476 178 112 41 25
98 Okay, I'll need your: drivers license; registration; insurance card; pilots license; NASA test certificate; EPA and state pollution waver; UN global warming exception; Jet Propulsion Lab experimental permit and your state weight and length permit. 1.5097 0.05958 155 99 33 23
99 Can't get to the Canadian border fast enough? 1.5084 0.05678 179 117 33 29
100 Please allow me to backup before you start your engines. 1.5084 0.05157 179 108 51 20
101 I have to take you in as a flight risk. 1.5057 0.05524 176 112 39 25
102 License and constellation, please. 1.5057 0.05222 176 107 49 20
103 Sir, do you know how fast you were going back there? Because I have no idea. 1.5029 0.05244 175 107 48 20
104 Your license expired light years ago! 1.5029 0.05181 175 106 50 19
105 I only have one question: why did you stop? 1.5029 0.05837 175 117 28 30
106 OK, buddy. Cool your jets. 1.5028 0.05138 177 107 51 19
107 If I let it slide, will you take me with you? 1.5000 0.05345 176 110 44 22
108 Do you know how fast you were going? Because I don't have a clue. 1.5000 0.05203 174 106 49 19
109 If you had a rearview mirror you would know that I've been chasing you since Tuesday. 1.5000 0.05513 174 111 39 24
110 Are you aware that you were driving in the carpool lane? 1.4971 0.05352 173 108 44 21
111 And I'm about to boldly send you to where lots of men have gone. 1.4971 0.05003 171 101 55 15
112 You're not from around here, are you son? 1.4971 0.05205 171 104 49 18
113 Speeding, failure to yield, improper lane usage, no brake lights, disturbing the peace, 3 stop sign violations, failure to file a flight plan, technically, there’s no ordinance about what you did to that cow, no license plates, no insurance……… 1.4971 0.05399 171 107 43 21
114 I noticed you were texting 1.4971 0.05587 171 110 37 24
115 I'm gonna need to search the vehicle for illegal aliens 1.4971 0.05525 171 109 39 23
116 Really? No idea at all? 1.4943 0.05641 176 116 33 27
117 Cool your jets 1.4941 0.05359 170 106 44 20
118 You can just cool your jets while I write up this citation. 1.4941 0.05227 170 104 48 18
119 Don't start your engines until I leave. 1.4911 0.05316 169 105 45 19
120 I need to check the trunk for illegal aliens. 1.4911 0.05511 169 108 39 22
121 HIT AND RUN? All I did was nudge the bumpers on the cars behind and in front of me to squeeze out of a tight parking place. 1.4911 0.05511 169 108 39 22
122 Do you know how fast time was slowing? 1.4881 0.05663 168 110 34 24
123 Yes, the speed limit does apply to re-entry. 1.4852 0.05446 169 108 40 21
124 You just ran 500 red lights. 1.4850 0.05226 167 103 47 17
125 Any idea how loud you were going? 1.4850 0.05362 167 105 43 19
126 Sir, I'm going to have to search your vehicle for illegal aliens. 1.4850 0.05625 167 109 35 23
127 You ran a stoplight 2000 miles back. 1.4850 0.05560 167 108 37 22
128 You want to know how I caught up with you don't you? 1.4850 0.05752 167 111 31 25
129 I've gotta be honest. I have no idea how fast you were going. 1.4850 0.05429 167 106 41 20
130 Never thought I'd get to say this, but please step out of the rocket. 1.4819 0.05248 166 103 46 17
131 I don't care where you said you'd move if he was elected. 1.4819 0.05650 166 109 34 23
132 First, thanks for pulling over. 1.4819 0.05903 166 113 26 27
133 Let's just say this ticket is going to pay for my retirement. 1.4817 0.05365 164 103 43 18
134 Why did I stop you? ... Just to see if I could. 1.4817 0.05295 164 102 45 17
135 Oh, that 495 sign is the route number? 1.4817 0.05295 164 102 45 17
136 No, officer. Actually, I'm wondering HOW you pulled me over. 1.4817 0.05365 164 103 43 18
137 My wife has a Prius so I figure we're carbon neutral 1.4790 0.05225 167 104 46 17
138 It's a rental. 1.4785 0.05595 163 106 36 21
139 'Living life in the fast lane' is a metaphor -- not an explanation! 1.4785 0.05663 163 107 34 22
140 Sir, I'm going to need you to take one small step and the one giant leap out of the car. 1.4785 0.05595 163 106 36 21
141 Sir, the law of gravity is about the only one you didn't just break... 1.4785 0.05458 163 104 40 19
142 I'm gonna let you slide on breaking the sound barrier, but I'll hafta write you up for not wearing your seat belt. 1.4753 0.05341 162 102 43 17
143 Slow down. Canada's not going anywhere. 1.4753 0.05341 162 102 43 17
144 I repeat license and registration, Sir. This is not rocket science. 1.4753 0.05412 162 103 41 18
145 You heard me. Open the trunk! 1.4720 0.05577 161 105 36 20
146 Are we trying to compensate for something here? 1.4720 0.05507 161 104 38 19
147 Good morning sir, I expect you'd like to know what happened to the boat you were towing! 1.4720 0.05782 161 108 30 23
148 The reason I pulled you over isn't rocket science. 1.4720 0.05507 161 104 38 19
149 And you're sure all you've had to drink is Tang? 1.4720 0.05364 161 102 42 17
150 One of your brake lights is out. 1.4720 0.05782 161 108 30 23
151 You're not from around here, are you son? 1.4684 0.05287 158 99 44 15
152 Can't you just get a tiny red convertible like other hapless 50 year olds? 1.4684 0.05437 158 101 40 17
153 To be honest, I'm surprised you pulled over. 1.4684 0.05437 158 101 40 17
154 Sir, I've been chasing you since 1987. 1.4684 0.05726 158 105 32 21
155 If you had been flying under the radar I wouldn't be standing here, would I? 1.4684 0.05363 158 100 42 16
156 No Sir, the 'M' in MPH does not stand for Mach. 1.4684 0.05287 158 99 44 15
157 Looks like "The Right Stuff" got off at "The Wrong Exit". 1.4650 0.05462 157 101 39 17
158 My wife won't let me have a motorcycle. 1.4650 0.05536 157 102 37 18
159 Actually, it wasn't your speed so much as the sonic boom. 1.4650 0.05386 157 100 41 16
160 You flew through that stop sign. 1.4650 0.05536 157 102 37 18
161 My question to you is. Why did you stop? 1.4650 0.05462 157 101 39 17
162 Normally I would ask this sarcastically, but were you trying to set a land speed record? 1.4615 0.05410 156 100 40 16
163 Sir, driving responsibly isn't rocket science. 1.4615 0.05561 156 102 36 18
164 I don't really know how fast you were going, but I'm putting yesterday's date on the ticket. 1.4615 0.05561 156 102 36 18
165 Not from around here are you? 1.4615 0.05176 156 97 46 13
166 Thank you for pulling over. It occurred to me after I hit the siren that I didn't really have a Plan B. 1.4615 0.05708 156 104 32 20
167 Small penis? 1.4581 0.05660 155 103 33 19
168 You went through three stop signs, a school zone and Mount Rushmore. 1.4581 0.05116 155 96 47 12
169 You just exceeded your carbon footprint. 1.4581 0.05586 155 102 35 18
170 Did it work? Are we back on November 7? 1.4581 0.05806 155 105 29 21
171 Any idea how I pulled you over? 1.4581 0.05878 155 106 27 22
172 Would it help if I told you it's a hybrid? 1.4545 0.05379 154 99 40 15
173 You're probably wondering how I caught you? 1.4545 0.05535 154 101 36 17
174 When I had my midlife crisis, I bought roller blades. 1.4539 0.05430 152 98 39 15
175 I wasn't driving, officer, I was landing. 1.4539 0.06038 152 106 23 23
176 Don't you want to know how I caught up with you? 1.4522 0.05675 157 106 31 20
177 You're the rocket scientist, you tell me. 1.4503 0.05290 151 96 42 13
178 Is there something wrong, officer? 1.4467 0.05478 150 98 37 15
179 Overcompensating a bit, Aren't you? 1.4467 0.05478 150 98 37 15
180 Let the record show that I caught you with a Ford. 1.4467 0.05872 150 103 27 20
181 Sir, I pulled you over for a violation of the time-space continuum. 1.4467 0.05639 150 100 33 17
182 Where on Earth did you learn to drive? 1.4467 0.05478 150 98 37 15
183 I pulled you over for failing to yield to the state of Ohio 1.4467 0.05796 150 102 29 19
184 No, you weren't speeding. It's your carbon footprint. 1.4467 0.05478 150 98 37 15
185 ... speeding, failure to yield, driving while texting, running a stop sign, vaporizing a garbage truck, ... 1.4467 0.05872 150 103 27 20
186 Let's see, 150 dollars times the speed of light... 1.4467 0.05559 150 99 35 16
187 Sir, are you aware that your left turn signal has been on through Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont? 1.4467 0.05559 150 99 35 16
188 Sorry Mack, but around here the sound barrier is strictly enforced. 1.4467 0.05718 150 101 31 18
189 You're not from these parts, are you? 1.4467 0.05227 150 95 43 12
190 Eject yourself with your hands up! 1.4467 0.05478 150 98 37 15
191 Do you realize how fast you were going because I don't? 1.4467 0.05948 150 104 25 21
192 I'll give you just a warning if you'll let me drive it by my old high school. 1.4467 0.05639 150 100 33 17
193 WHY I pulled you over? I'm more interested in how. 1.4467 0.05718 150 101 31 18
194 I'm actually grateful: this meets my quota for the whole year. 1.4467 0.05639 150 100 33 17
195 Yes, you might say I'm profiling. 1.4467 0.05141 150 94 45 11
196 You still need two or more passengers for the carpool lane, sir. 1.4467 0.05312 150 96 41 13
197 You were travelling at the speed of light in a speed of sound zone, sir. 1.4467 0.05872 150 103 27 20
198 Just think of this as one giant leap for a man fined. 1.4430 0.05900 149 103 26 20
199 Look, I had a mid-life crisis too. 1.4430 0.05744 149 101 30 18
200 Your tail light is on fire. 1.4430 0.05976 149 104 24 21
201 January 23rd, 2017. Why do you ask? 1.4430 0.05900 149 103 26 20
202 Oh yeah? Well around here, we like the sound barrier just the way it's always been 1.4430 0.05335 149 96 40 13
203 Yeah, you can't always rely on Google maps. 1.4430 0.05744 149 101 30 18
204 Given everything else, I’m gonna overlook the busted taillight. 1.4430 0.05335 149 96 40 13
205 You realize that was a rolling stop back there, right? 1.4430 0.05419 149 97 38 14
206 Ground control to major dumbass. 1.4430 0.05823 149 102 28 19
207 You failed to yield upon re-entry. 1.4430 0.05502 149 98 36 15
208 Then out of nowhere, officer, some total asteroid cut me off. 1.4430 0.05419 149 97 38 14
209 You need to practice a little more ground control, Major Tom. 1.4430 0.05502 149 98 36 15
210 Cool your jets 1.4430 0.04983 149 92 48 9
211 You were 10 miles over the speed limit. And, by the way, that's pathetic. 1.4430 0.05335 149 96 40 13
212 Compensating for something, are we? 1.4430 0.05502 149 98 36 15
213 Leaving your mother-in-law's? 1.4417 0.06239 120 80 27 13
214 Yes, if you could please be on the lookout for anything unusual. 1.4407 0.06652 118 82 20 16
215 You're fast and I'm furious. 1.4392 0.06005 148 104 23 21
216 Cool your jets while I check your registration. 1.4392 0.05443 148 97 37 14
217 Just cool your jets okay? 1.4392 0.05691 148 100 31 17
218 "I'd say, 'where's the fire?' But the answer seems obvious. 1.4392 0.05691 148 100 31 17
219 Around here, the speed of sound is still 45. 1.4392 0.05443 148 97 37 14
220 You're probably wondering how I caught you? 1.4384 0.05232 146 93 42 11
221 Stop sign? I never saw the city! 1.4384 0.05232 146 93 42 11
222 Humbling, isn't it. 1.4384 0.05496 146 96 36 14
223 If you don't slow down, you won't get to where no one has gone before. 1.4345 0.05520 145 96 35 14
224 No, it's for littering. You dropped a solid rocket booster 5 miles back. 1.4345 0.05520 145 96 35 14
225 You must not be from around here. 1.4306 0.05182 144 92 42 10
226 No you weren't speeding. But, at the light, you melted both cars behind you. 1.4306 0.05885 144 100 26 18
227 I adjusted the calculations to take relativistic effects into account and it still turns out you were speeding. 1.4306 0.05717 144 98 30 16
228 No seat belt, no helmet, no turn signals, no mirrors. I won't even ask if you passed emissions. 1.4306 0.05885 144 100 26 18
229 No, really, do you know how fast you were going, 'cause I have to put something down here. 1.4306 0.05545 144 96 34 14
230 No really, can you tell me how fast you were going? 1.4306 0.05456 144 95 36 13
231 Your tag is expired. And it's melted. 1.4306 0.05717 144 98 30 16
232 You'll be cooling your jets for quite awhile. 1.4306 0.05456 144 95 36 13
233 Sir, I can't let off everyone desperately rushing to escape the planet. 1.4306 0.05632 144 97 32 15
234 What sort of mileage you get on this baby? 1.4296 0.05518 135 88 36 11
235 I know the difference between a Tesla Model S and a SpaceX Falcon 9, Mr. Musk. License and registration, please. 1.4275 0.06322 131 93 20 18
236 I was traveling faster than the speed of light so I didn't see it turn red. 1.4266 0.05569 143 96 33 14
237 This one's from Illinois; this one's from Iowa; this one's from Nebraska and this one's from Wyoming. You're lucky I stopped you before you hit Idaho. 1.4266 0.05480 143 95 35 13
238 I had you at Mach 2 in the school zone. 1.4266 0.05297 143 93 39 11
239 I clocked you at the speed of light, but I'll knock it down to the speed of sound. 1.4266 0.05389 143 94 37 12
240 Son, i dont think you understand the gravity of your situation 1.4266 0.05828 143 99 27 17
241 I've been clocking you for the last ten miles. If 25 mph is all you can do, you'll have to get off the highway. 1.4266 0.05743 143 98 29 16
242 License and constellation, please. 1.4266 0.05480 143 95 35 13
243 Ejector seat or no ejector seat, you still have to wear a seatbelt. 1.4236 0.05625 144 98 31 15
244 It was the rocket's red glare that gave you away. 1.4236 0.05269 144 94 39 11
245 Running a red light, violating the speed of light, and 400,000 in a 40 mile zone. 1.4236 0.05269 144 94 39 11
246 I'm no rocket scientist, but you were speeding, sir 1.4236 0.05450 144 96 35 13
247 I realize The Force Was With You, sir, but the 27 lights you ran weren't. 1.4236 0.05961 144 102 23 19
248 you realize you vaporized a cow back there? 1.4236 0.06041 144 103 21 20
249 Go ahead, mach my day. 1.4236 0.05450 144 96 35 13
250 Do you know why I stopped you? It's not rocket science. 1.4236 0.05879 144 101 25 18
251 License, registration, and flight plan... 1.4236 0.05625 144 98 31 15
252 Where's the fire - Alpha Centauri? 1.4225 0.05412 142 94 36 12
253 Sorry officer, I spaced out. 1.4225 0.05770 142 98 28 16
254 I suppose you're wondering how I caught up with you. 1.4225 0.05504 142 95 34 13
255 Why can't you drive a Giant Hot Dog like a normal Nut-Job? 1.4225 0.05940 142 100 24 18
256 I don't know how I caught up to you either. 1.4225 0.05594 142 96 32 14
257 Registration and landing permit, please. 1.4225 0.05412 142 94 36 12
258 Well, let's start with the headlights... 1.4225 0.05770 142 98 28 16
259 You have a tail light out...and half of the last county is on fire. 1.4225 0.05682 142 97 30 15
260 "No, that was not a speed limit sign, it was for Highway 675". 1.4225 0.05594 142 96 32 14
261 Sir, are you aware that you just ran 127 red lights? 1.4214 0.05371 140 92 37 11
262 Jetson, huh? 1.4214 0.05466 140 93 35 12
263 I had to pee. 1.4214 0.05830 140 97 27 16
264 You changed lanes without signaling thirteen states ago. 1.4214 0.05274 140 91 39 10
265 Your rear license plate has melted off 1.4214 0.05371 140 92 37 11
266 OK, you can go now. But, please, don't restart your engine until I pull away. 1.4214 0.05830 140 97 27 16
267 This is for flying under the radar. 1.4207 0.05331 145 96 37 12
268 Sir, time travel is not a traffic violation but your driver license expired 10,000 years ago. 1.4184 0.06052 141 101 21 19
269 You're in a school zone, and on Earth 1.4184 0.05341 141 93 37 11
270 The moon? Straight up, you can't miss it. 1.4173 0.05583 139 94 32 13
271 You were exceeding the sound limit. 1.4173 0.05583 139 94 32 13
272 Cool your jets, buddy. 1.4173 0.05393 139 92 36 11
273 Don't for one minute think that this is the first time I've heard that 'time traveler' excuse. 1.4173 0.05393 139 92 36 11
274 All right, sir, time to step out of the car and take one giant leap for mankind--and it had better be in a straight line. 1.4173 0.06032 139 99 22 18
275 You failed to signal before re-entry. 1.4173 0.05583 139 94 32 13
276 How much Tang have you had? 1.4173 0.05857 139 97 26 16
277 I'd like to give you a ticket but, unfortunately, we're now two states west of my jurisdiction. 1.4141 0.05713 128 86 31 11
278 Your turn signal has been on for the last 119 miles. 1.4132 0.06174 121 84 24 13
279 I'm not speeding, I'm making driving great again. 1.4130 0.05884 138 97 25 16
280 License and re-entry authorization, please. 1.4130 0.05416 138 92 35 11
281 I'm sorry officer, I was just trying to get through 2016. 1.4130 0.05884 138 97 25 16
282 You know you failed to signal when you passed me last Thursday. 1.4130 0.05884 138 97 25 16
283 I don't care about the rules on your planet. You're in Kansas now. 1.4130 0.05416 138 92 35 11
284 What on Earth made you think you could outrun a cruiser? 1.4130 0.05513 138 93 33 12
285 Next time pull over as soon as the siren catches up to you. 1.4130 0.05793 138 96 27 15
286 I just wanted to let you know your license plate is melting. 1.4130 0.05317 138 91 37 10
287 Listen buddy, I want to leave the planet as much as anyone right now. But that's no excuse for speeding. 1.4130 0.05608 138 94 31 13
288 Sir, were you aware that you're driving with a broken flux capacitor? 1.4130 0.05973 138 98 23 17
289 You can pay your fine as a lump sum or an annuity. 1.4130 0.05884 138 97 25 16
290 45 miles per what? 1.4130 0.05416 138 92 35 11
291 I'm officer Houston. We have a problem. 1.4130 0.05701 138 95 29 14
292 So just where is your kid's recital......Jupiter? 1.4130 0.05793 138 96 27 15
293 You were going a little too boldly there. 1.4130 0.05513 138 93 33 12
294 License and launch manifest please. 1.4130 0.05608 138 94 31 13
295 Nice work, Einstein. It took me 25 years to pull you over. 1.4130 0.05701 138 95 29 14
296 You must be from out-of-town. 1.4130 0.05416 138 92 35 11
297 You city folks think you can come out here and break OUR sound barrier any old time. 1.4130 0.05217 138 90 39 9
298 I don't care that it's an Amazon Prime delivery. 1.4088 0.06002 137 98 22 17
299 License? This is my 7th Grade Science Fair Project. 1.4088 0.05339 137 91 36 10
300 No, sir. 620 is the number of the highway that you're on. 1.4088 0.05727 137 95 28 14
301 It's not the speed I'm concerned about, it's the texting. 1.4088 0.05536 137 93 32 12
302 Houston, we got a problem. 1.4088 0.05727 137 95 28 14
303 Hey buddy, you need to cool your jets. 1.4088 0.05727 137 95 28 14
304 I clocked you doing the speed of light in a speed of sound zone 1.4088 0.05727 137 95 28 14
305 And where is this "Wookie" now? 1.4088 0.06090 137 99 20 18
306 Because I couldn't catch the guy in the Tesla, that's why. 1.4088 0.05632 137 94 30 13
307 I'm not sure which surprises me more: your speed or the fact that I caught you. 1.4088 0.05820 137 96 26 15
308 We've been getting noise complaints from a neighboring state. 1.4088 0.05911 137 97 24 16
309 No tail lights, no head lights, no turn indicators, no seat belts, no license plate. Ching, ching, ching. 1.4088 0.05439 137 92 34 11
310 It's taken 3 days to catch you - the least you can do is step out of the vehicle. 1.4088 0.05536 137 93 32 12
311 Licence, registration, and Captain Jet decoder ring please. 1.4088 0.05727 137 95 28 14
312 You wouldn't happen to know anything about that melted stretch of highway two miles back, would you? 1.4074 0.05787 135 94 27 14
313 Don't mach me son! 1.4074 0.05787 135 94 27 14
314 Sir, your wife would like to know if you really meant to eject her back there. 1.4074 0.05975 135 96 23 16
315 No, sir . . . I will not sign your 'Captain's Log.' 1.4074 0.05392 135 90 35 10
316 I'm impressed you funded this with Kickstarter, now try GoFundMe to pay for your ticket. 1.4074 0.05882 135 95 25 15
317 You touched down in a crosswalk. 1.4074 0.05288 135 89 37 9
318 In order for me to not issue you a ticket you must agree to post on social media that I actually did manage to catch you. 1.4074 0.05882 135 95 25 15
319 Three guesses. 1.4074 0.05691 135 93 29 13
320 Small penis? 1.4074 0.05975 135 96 23 16
321 Are you aware you missed a stop sign 325 miles ago? 1.4074 0.05787 135 94 27 14
322 This is for going vertical in a horizonal lane. 1.4074 0.05392 135 90 35 10
323 Are there any vehicles in the weapon? 1.4074 0.06158 135 98 19 18
324 You're a little late with your warnings from the future, the election was weeks ago. 1.4060 0.05850 133 93 26 14
325 Spare me the one about time dilation, the speed of light as a constant and inertial frames. Heard that one three times already today. 1.4044 0.05847 136 96 25 15
326 Sorry officer, I'm late for a launch date 1.4030 0.05617 134 92 30 12
327 Welcome back to Earth Mr. Musk, and our pesky little speed limit rules. 1.4030 0.05814 134 94 26 14
328 Is this a hybrid? 1.4030 0.05414 134 90 34 10
329 You will need to pick up a passenger if you're going to use the car pool lane. 1.4030 0.05617 134 92 30 12
330 No, 287 is the highway number, not the speed limit 1.4030 0.05309 134 89 36 9
331 Do you have any idea how many miles per second you were going? 1.4030 0.05814 134 94 26 14
332 Sorry Officer, at the speed of sound I can't hear the siren. 1.4030 0.05716 134 93 28 13
333 Your carbon footprint exceeds the state of Iowa 1.4030 0.06004 134 96 22 16
334 Your license says you're 67 years old but you don't look a day over 25. You been travelin' near the speed of light, son? 1.4030 0.06004 134 96 22 16
335 Okay, now when I get back into my cruiser, I want you to wait for me to pull out first. 1.4030 0.05814 134 94 26 14
336 You can't break the sound barrier in a school zone, sir. 1.4029 0.05472 139 95 32 12
337 Nope. You're weren't speeding. Pulled you over cause you have a taillight out. 1.3985 0.06032 133 96 21 16
338 Sir, you can't escape the long arm of the laws of physics. 1.3985 0.05937 133 95 23 15
339 Sorry sir... we're just testing Amazon's new five minute delivery program. 1.3985 0.05436 133 90 33 10
340 Your break lights are on fire. 1.3985 0.05742 133 93 27 13
341 And don't ever mach me again! 1.3985 0.05742 133 93 27 13
342 I let you off with a warning last time. 1.3985 0.05742 133 93 27 13
343 Oh ! Hi Mr. Leno 1.3985 0.05840 133 94 25 14
344 So, you couldn't read the speed limit sign because it was a blur. 1.3985 0.05436 133 90 33 10
345 Do you know how fast you were going? Because it was awesome. 1.3985 0.05642 133 92 29 12
346 I don't care what planet you will be on, be in court on Dec 15th. 1.3939 0.05767 132 93 26 13
347 Overcompensating just a bit, aren't we, sir? 1.3939 0.05458 132 90 32 10
348 The rules of the road are simple, it's not rocket science. 1.3939 0.05964 132 95 22 15
349 Lost in space is no excuse. 1.3939 0.05767 132 93 26 13
350 You were going a little fast about 3 states back. 1.3939 0.05767 132 93 26 13
351 Sir, I clearly saw you texting. 1.3939 0.05964 132 95 22 15
352 You were going t = t0/(1-v2/c2)1/2 in a traversable wormhole zone. 1.3939 0.05458 132 90 32 10
353 It's just a warning, cool your jets. 1.3939 0.05351 132 89 34 9
354 You failed to indicate a left turn back in Ohio. 1.3939 0.05666 132 92 28 12
355 I will need to see your registration and black box. 1.3939 0.05563 132 91 30 11
356 You flew through that stop sign. 1.3939 0.05666 132 92 28 12
357 License, registration, and penis size, please. 1.3939 0.06249 132 98 16 18
358 Oh I am so sorry. I thought you were black. Carry on! 1.3939 0.06061 132 96 20 16
359 No, you didn't fail to signal. I'll give you two more guesses. 1.3939 0.05563 132 91 30 11
360 Sir, this race ended in the '60s. 1.3939 0.05666 132 92 28 12
361 Is this just because I'm from out of state? 1.3939 0.05242 132 88 36 8
362 Not in my solar system, you don't. 1.3939 0.05563 132 91 30 11
363 ...and for igniting two houses and a chihuahua. 1.3939 0.05867 132 94 24 14
364 You should probably avoid Police chases with only 10 seconds of fuel... 1.3939 0.05867 132 94 24 14
365 Sir, please step out of the vehicle. I smell tang on your breath. 1.3939 0.05964 132 95 22 15
366 FAA license and NASA registration, please 1.3923 0.06129 130 95 19 16
367 I've been chasing you since 2015. 1.3923 0.05514 130 89 31 10
368 Spatial profiling? 1.3923 0.05830 130 92 25 13
369 The real crime is that I was able to overtake you. 1.3923 0.05931 130 93 23 14
370 Are you profiling me? 1.3923 0.06320 130 97 15 18
371 And that's why in our galaxy we have the little white lines on the road. 1.3923 0.05180 130 86 37 7
372 So what brings you out here all the way from New York, Mr. Weiner? 1.3923 0.06031 130 94 21 15
373 Didn't you see your second stage fall off back there? 1.3923 0.06129 130 95 19 16
374 You're probably wondering why I stopped you. 1.3923 0.05726 130 91 27 12
375 Wow! And what does it get in the city? 1.3923 0.05063 130 85 39 6
376 Do you know how I pulled you over? 1.3923 0.05726 130 91 27 12
377 Relax, you're white. 1.3923 0.06414 130 98 13 19
378 Son, don't mach me. 1.3923 0.05405 130 88 33 9
379 I'm citing you for overcompensating. 1.3923 0.06031 130 94 21 15
380 Where do you think you are, Texas? 1.3923 0.05726 130 91 27 12
381 You know Mr. Musk I've heard it all when it comes to speeders, but telling me you were on your way to the international space station and lost the GPS signal, now that's a real stretch. 1.3898 0.06022 118 83 24 11
382 Uranus ! My Ass ! 1.3898 0.06596 118 88 14 16
383 You failed to use your turn signal back in Chicago. 1.3876 0.05426 129 88 32 9
384 I suppose you're wondering how I caught you. 1.3876 0.05645 129 90 28 11
385 A Hummer just didn’t do it for you? 1.3876 0.05314 129 87 34 8
386 Oh please, I was going MUCH faster than that! 1.3876 0.05426 129 88 32 9
387 Speeding?! It took twelve minutes for you to be wanted in three states. 1.3876 0.06059 129 94 20 15
388 I'll write your speeding ticket as soon as the MIT Department of Physics gets back to me with the calculations 1.3876 0.05645 129 90 28 11
389 No, actually, I couldn't even theoretically hear your siren. 1.3876 0.06158 129 95 18 16
390 Do you know how many miles per second you were going? 1.3876 0.05426 129 88 32 9
391 Well, well, Mr. Musk. Seems this one didn't get off the ground either. 1.3876 0.05426 129 88 32 9
392 No you weren't speeding, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're in violation of emissions standards. 1.3876 0.05751 129 91 26 12
393 I don't care that you are a rocket scientist! 1.3876 0.05856 129 92 24 13
394 Been getting some calls about strange behavior out here today. Seen anything? 1.3876 0.05198 129 86 36 7
395 I'm sorry, but you'll have to pay for the sound barrier you just broke. 1.3876 0.05645 129 90 28 11
396 So the signs are NOT in the thousands of miles per hour? 1.3876 0.05856 129 92 24 13
397 It only has one speed. 1.3876 0.05958 129 93 22 14
398 Pilot's license and registration, please. 1.3876 0.05645 129 90 28 11
399 Not sure if your license plate sticker is expired, but I do know it's melted. 1.3876 0.05537 129 89 30 10
400 I'll give you a warning for your speeding but I have to ticket you for the emissions. 1.3876 0.05751 129 91 26 12
401 I'm going to ask that you pull away gently, without incinerating my cruiser. 1.3876 0.05958 129 93 22 14
402 Do you have any idea how many land speed records you've broken? 1.3876 0.06158 129 95 18 16
403 I'm citing you for failing to yield to the boundaries of space and time. 1.3876 0.05856 129 92 24 13
404 Bet you didn't know a Crown Victoria could do 4.9 miles per second. 1.3876 0.05751 129 91 26 12
405 You're not from around here are you? 1.3876 0.05537 129 89 30 10
406 I don't care if you were trying to go back in time to change your vote. 1.3876 0.05958 129 93 22 14
407 I had you at mach 2 in a 55 1.3876 0.05856 129 92 24 13
408 Let's just say you were going somewhere between 55 miles per hour and the speed of light. 1.3876 0.05314 129 87 34 8
409 You were doing two thousand miles an hour in a 35 mile zone. 1.3876 0.05537 129 89 30 10
410 Listen, buddy, following the speed limit isn't rocket science. 1.3876 0.05958 129 93 22 14
411 Were you texting? 1.3876 0.05751 129 91 26 12
412 "This is for not wearing your parachute. 1.3876 0.05314 129 87 34 8
413 You ran a light back in New York... 1.3876 0.05537 129 89 30 10
414 I had a few Tangs officer, but that was hours ago. 1.3876 0.05537 129 89 30 10
415 License, registration, and M.I.T. degree please. 1.3876 0.05856 129 92 24 13
416 Your turn signal has been on for the last 300,000 miles. 1.3876 0.05537 129 89 30 10
417 I'm about as close to our leader as you're gonna get. 1.3876 0.05751 129 91 26 12
418 It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what is about to happen. 1.3846 0.05167 130 87 36 7
419 I'll just give you a warning this time, but let me pull away before you start up. 1.3846 0.05393 130 89 32 9
420 What's your hurry, son? 1.3828 0.05882 128 92 23 13
421 Mid-life crisis eh? 1.3828 0.05559 128 89 29 10
422 Yes, and I'm Batman. Now get out of the car and show me your license. 1.3828 0.05882 128 92 23 13
423 So, what's it like on fuel? 1.3828 0.05669 128 90 27 11
424 I don't care if you were obeying the laws of thermodynamics. 1.3828 0.05559 128 89 29 10
425 Sir, the space race is over. 1.3828 0.05986 128 93 21 14
426 That's one fast police car you got there, Officer! 1.3828 0.05882 128 92 23 13
427 Is this a hybrid? 1.3828 0.05776 128 91 25 12
428 Speed Is Relative. 1.3828 0.05986 128 93 21 14
429 I'm no rocket scientist but I am still sure you were speeding 1.3828 0.05559 128 89 29 10
430 If you were really from the future, this thing would be self-driving. 1.3828 0.05448 128 88 31 9
431 I'm running late for a launch date. 1.3828 0.05776 128 91 25 12
432 And in addition you're in a no-fly zone. 1.3828 0.05882 128 92 23 13
433 It appears you have failed our emissions test 1.3828 0.05448 128 88 31 9
434 Yes, we all want to. But the inauguration's still a month away. 1.3828 0.06088 128 94 19 15
435 And please don't say, 'Houston, I've got a problem.' 1.3828 0.05669 128 90 27 11
436 Well for starters, failure to keep on the ground. 1.3828 0.05882 128 92 23 13
437 Let me pull away before you start her up. 1.3828 0.05882 128 92 23 13
438 No sir, I do not know what the penalty is for doing the speed of light in a 25 mph zone. 1.3828 0.05776 128 91 25 12
439 So you say you purchased this used from a...Mr. Coyote? 1.3828 0.05669 128 90 27 11
440 It's not rocket science. You were speeding. 1.3828 0.05669 128 90 27 11
441 What made you think you might be faster than me? 1.3814 0.06128 118 85 21 12
442 And if I could write you up for blatant phallic compensation attempt, I would as well. 1.3814 0.06473 118 88 15 15
443 So, I take it that you're not from around here. 1.3798 0.05633 129 91 27 11
444 Cool your jets. I'm only giving you a warning. 1.3798 0.05413 129 89 31 9
445 Do not restart your vehicle. 1.3798 0.05739 129 92 25 12
446 . . . and this one's for not having a front plate on the vehicle 1.3798 0.05300 129 88 33 8
447 You seem like a nice guy, I'm gonna knock it down to ten below the sound barrier. 1.3798 0.05739 129 92 25 12
448 How 'bout you boldly go to your wallet and hand me your license and registration? 1.3798 0.05739 129 92 25 12
449 Actually officer a light-year measures distance not speed. 1.3798 0.05524 129 90 29 10
450 Get that taillight fixed, and no more sonic booms. 1.3798 0.05844 129 93 23 13
451 Your right taillight has melted 1.3798 0.05739 129 92 25 12
452 35 in a 25, rolling a stop sign, and barbecuing a tailgater. 1.3798 0.05946 129 94 21 14
453 I'm so sorry, sir. I thought you were black. 1.3798 0.06245 129 97 15 17
454 No, Sir. The speed limit signs were there when you approached them. And there is the additional issue of the 50 smoldering mailboxes. 1.3798 0.05633 129 91 27 11
455 Besides going 28,000 mph in a 40 mph zone, I'll have to cite for not having your seatbelt secured. 1.3798 0.05524 129 90 29 10
456 Sure buddy, the Doppler effect made the light appear green. 1.3798 0.05413 129 89 31 9
457 In a hurry, Major Tom? 1.3798 0.05633 129 91 27 11
458 Are you aware that you went through a stop light in Kansas? 1.3798 0.05524 129 90 29 10
459 Are you mach-ing me? 1.3798 0.05413 129 89 31 9
460 Is there a problem, officer? 1.3798 0.05844 129 93 23 13
461 Drivers licence registration and autograph please 1.3780 0.05801 127 91 24 12
462 Test pilot, eh? If I had a dime for every time I heard that one... 1.3780 0.05801 127 91 24 12
463 But Officer I'm white... 1.3780 0.06512 127 98 10 19
464 The speed of light isn't just a good idea; it's the law. 1.3780 0.05801 127 91 24 12
465 Do you know how many miles per second you were going? 1.3780 0.05801 127 91 24 12
466 No! I'm late for launch, not lunch! 1.3780 0.05582 127 89 28 10
467 Any particular reason you were doing 550 in a 55? 1.3780 0.05353 127 87 32 8
468 I need to see you license, registration and flight plan. 1.3780 0.05582 127 89 28 10
469 Save it, buddy. I hear that old 'afterburner got stuck' story all the time. 1.3780 0.05469 127 88 30 9
470 You were texting. 1.3780 0.06217 127 95 16 16
471 License and flight plan... 1.3780 0.05353 127 87 32 8
472 And you also barbecued enough cattle to feed half of Tennessee... 1.3780 0.05582 127 89 28 10
473 You can tell Houston that your right tail light is out! 1.3780 0.05115 127 85 36 6
474 Yes, but do YOU know how fast I was going? 1.3780 0.05235 127 86 34 7
475 I'm telling you to basically cool your jets. 1.3780 0.05353 127 87 32 8
476 Scotty, the nerd from 7th grade science class...so we meet again. 1.3780 0.05693 127 90 26 11
477 You know one of your afterburners is out. 1.3780 0.05469 127 88 30 9
478 I'm sorry, sir, but this is fly OVER country. 1.3760 0.05526 125 87 29 9
479 You were flying back there. 1.3760 0.05641 125 88 27 10
480 It's not for speeding, but for ostentatiousness. 1.3760 0.05408 125 86 31 8
481 I'm writing you up for defying the laws of physics. 1.3760 0.05755 125 89 25 11
482 Chin up, you still might break the record for fastest conviction. 1.3760 0.05408 125 86 31 8
483 Gotta plane to catch? 1.3760 0.05755 125 89 25 11
484 I went through a midlife crisis myself, so this time I'll just give you a warning. 1.3760 0.05287 125 85 33 7
485 I know you're violating SOMETHING; I just don't know what. 1.3760 0.05526 125 87 29 9
486 Since the election, some people just can't get to Canada fast enough. 1.3760 0.05164 125 84 35 6
487 Me, profiling? 1.3760 0.05866 125 90 23 12
488 The radar gun says you were doing "error" in a 35mph zone. 1.3760 0.05641 125 88 27 10
489 You're being ticketed for driving in the wrong century. 1.3750 0.05434 128 89 30 9
490 Four hundred is the county road number, not the speed limit. 1.3750 0.05320 128 88 32 8
491 This is Cape Cod, sir... Cape Canaveral is south of here. 1.3750 0.05203 128 87 34 7
492 Not from around here, eh? 1.3750 0.05656 128 91 26 11
493 Please eject out of the rocket sir 1.3730 0.05373 126 87 31 8
494 Sir, I'm no idiot. That's Tang on your breath. 1.3730 0.05373 126 87 31 8
495 Let me pull out first , before you start her back up Mr. Branson. 1.3730 0.05604 126 89 27 10
496 The 21st century, why do you ask? 1.3730 0.05490 126 88 29 9
497 I'm just giving you a warning. You were going mach 2 in a 35 mph zone. I don't even know how to write that ticket. 1.3730 0.05604 126 89 27 10
498 I clocked you doing 17,000 in a 55. 1.3730 0.06145 126 94 17 15
499 OK, buddy. You know 17 of your tail lights are out. 1.3729 0.05489 118 81 30 7
500 Are you sure it was me? 1.3710 0.06110 124 92 18 14
501 You've got a melted tail light. 1.3710 0.05891 124 90 22 12
502 Didn't you see those 500 stop signs back there? 1.3710 0.05428 124 86 30 8
503 We're stopping suspected aliens. 1.3710 0.05779 124 89 24 11
504 This is a car pool only lane. 1.3710 0.05779 124 89 24 11
505 Breaking the sound barrier is disturbing the peace. 1.3710 0.05428 124 86 30 8
506 Now you're probably wondering how I caught you. 1.3710 0.05547 124 87 28 9
507 Do you have any weapons, including missiles, of which I should be aware? 1.3710 0.05664 124 88 26 10
508 I'll need your license and registration, then get out so, I can take a selfie. 1.3675 0.05771 117 83 25 9
509 Your license plate light is out. 1.3659 0.05917 123 90 21 12
510 This is major, Tom. 1.3659 0.05569 123 87 27 9
511 You know it's illegal to pass in an ozone. 1.3659 0.05917 123 90 21 12
512 We have a problem, Houston. 1.3659 0.05448 123 86 29 8
513 I'm surprised you didn't take off when you saw me coming 1.3659 0.05687 123 88 25 10
514 Sir, are you aware that you were going the speed of light on a road with a 25 mph limit? 1.3659 0.06659 123 97 7 19
515 Sorry officer, I spaced out. 1.3659 0.06246 123 93 15 15
516 Launch sequence and registration? 1.3659 0.05803 123 89 23 11
517 Oh sorry, I thought you were black. 1.3659 0.06138 123 92 17 14
518 Looks like you get to set two records today. 1.3659 0.06138 123 92 17 14
519 Do you have any idea how I was able to stop you? 1.3659 0.05569 123 87 27 9
520 Officer, the speed limit is all relative 1.3659 0.06029 123 91 19 13
521 Need I say it? Cool your jets. 1.3659 0.05803 123 89 23 11
522 Your tail light is on fire. 1.3659 0.05448 123 86 29 8
523 I'm going to have to write you up for breaking the sound barrier. 1.3659 0.05569 123 87 27 9
524 My wife's having a baby on Mars. 1.3659 0.05687 123 88 25 10
525 I don't care if your name is Sully, you can't land that here 1.3659 0.06029 123 91 19 13
526 One of your afterburners is out. 1.3659 0.06029 123 91 19 13
527 Are you trying to Mach me? 1.3659 0.05687 123 88 25 10
528 I need you to understand the gravity of this situation 1.3659 0.05687 123 88 25 10
529 Leaving the country in a a hurry, are we? 1.3659 0.05917 123 90 21 12
530 No, I will not take you to my leader. 1.3659 0.05448 123 86 29 8
531 It doesn't take a rocket scientist to read the posted speed limit. 1.3636 0.05629 121 86 26 9
532 I don't have any idea how fast you were going. 1.3636 0.05868 121 88 22 11
533 So, this thing a hybrid? 1.3636 0.05505 121 85 28 8
534 Sir, do you know how many laws of physics you just broke? 1.3636 0.05750 121 87 24 10
535 Please step out of the unconscious compensation for your sexual inadequacy. 1.3636 0.05984 121 89 20 12
536 I'm sorry, I can't issue you a warning. Breaking the sound barrier is really over the line. 1.3636 0.05984 121 89 20 12
537 That NASA fire sale is keeping us real busy. 1.3636 0.05249 121 83 32 6
538 No you weren't speeding, but you left a hell of a mess on Route 64 when you ejected your second stage. 1.3636 0.05629 121 86 26 9
539 Don't let me see you on this planet again, Understood? 1.3636 0.05984 121 89 20 12
540 License, registration and Commander Cody secret decoder ring. 1.3636 0.05629 121 86 26 9
541 I'm letting you off for the speeding, OK? But I gotta write you up for the sonic boom. 1.3636 0.05505 121 85 28 8
542 This is a no-fly zone. 1.3636 0.05378 121 84 30 7
543 Sir, the sound barrier is not a speed limit. 1.3636 0.05868 121 88 22 11
544 Pilot's licence please. 1.3636 0.05629 121 86 26 9
545 Let me guess. Canada? 1.3636 0.05750 121 87 24 10
546 Sorry, officer, I didn't know I broke the sound barrier until I stopped and heard your siren. 1.3636 0.05629 121 86 26 9
547 Ran out of plutonium, did you? 1.3636 0.05629 121 86 26 9
548 The turnoff to the Salt Lake is in Utah. This is Kansas. 1.3636 0.05505 121 85 28 8
549 You flew past that stop sign. 1.3636 0.05505 121 85 28 8
550 I have reason to believe you may be smuggling illegal aliens. 1.3636 0.05750 121 87 24 10
551 Let me guess......you didn't notice the 'Do Not Break the Sound Barrier' signs back there. 1.3636 0.05750 121 87 24 10
552 You couldn't hear my siren, because you were passing through the sound barrier. 1.3636 0.05629 121 86 26 9
553 Why would you even pull over? 1.3629 0.05649 124 89 25 10
554 It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why I pulled you over. 1.3629 0.05876 124 91 21 12
555 I didn't ask for your pilot's license. 1.3607 0.05342 122 85 30 7
556 The tail light's not actually out, you just have to wait two years to see it. 1.3607 0.05710 122 88 24 10
557 Trade ya. 1.3583 0.05893 120 88 21 11
558 Honest, officer. I just touched the gas and it took off like a rocket. 1.3583 0.05893 120 88 21 11
559 This is just a warning. Next time don't fly over the stop sign. 1.3583 0.05773 120 87 23 10
560 Sorry, officer...I'm just trying to get to Canada as fast as I can. 1.3583 0.06011 120 89 19 12
561 Next time don’t wait for the sonic boom before you check your speedometer. 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
562 Don't expect to achieve escape velocity while I'm on duty, buster. 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
563 Why did you even stop? 1.3583 0.05893 120 88 21 11
564 Oh, you're gonna set a record - just not the one you were shooting for. 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
565 Listen, buddy, I don't care if it's street legal on Mars. 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
566 I'll let you off with a warning if you let me pull away first. 1.3583 0.05525 120 85 27 8
567 Twice I saw you make a left turn without signaling. 1.3583 0.05265 120 83 31 6
568 You Jet Set people always think you can avoid a ticket. 1.3583 0.05893 120 88 21 11
569 Nobody outruns the Blue Phantom, sir. 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
570 And I'm giving you a second ticket for the booster rocket you left on the road back there. 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
571 No, your speed was fine....it's your front bumper that's not acceptable. 1.3583 0.06126 120 90 17 13
572 Sorry Major Tom, but your drivers license expired in 1969. 1.3583 0.06011 120 89 19 12
573 A time machine? An attempt to change recent history? Carry on and God speed. 1.3583 0.06351 120 92 13 15
574 Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before. 1.3583 0.05773 120 87 23 10
575 Sorry, Officer. I was totally spacing. 1.3583 0.05893 120 88 21 11
576 I don't care if it is 'the next obvious iteration,' it's still illegal, Mr. Musk. 1.3583 0.05773 120 87 23 10
577 No, it was your busted taillights this time, Mr. Yeager. 1.3583 0.06126 120 90 17 13
578 Are you mach-ing me? 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
579 All right, buddy. Where's your helmet? 1.3583 0.05773 120 87 23 10
580 So, I’m writing you a ticket for speeding, and gross overcompensation. 1.3583 0.05773 120 87 23 10
581 Yes, it's a parallel universe . . . so it's still 35 miles an hour. 1.3583 0.06011 120 89 19 12
582 Yeah, like I've never heard that one before. 1.3583 0.05525 120 85 27 8
583 Some of our pizza customers live out-of -state sir. 1.3583 0.06011 120 89 19 12
584 You're probably wondering how I caught up to you. 1.3583 0.05525 120 85 27 8
585 Technically it's a missile, so the NRA says I have every right to carry it. 1.3583 0.05773 120 87 23 10
586 License, registration, and flight plan, please. 1.3583 0.05131 120 82 33 5
587 Ok Major Tom, let's see your registration. 1.3583 0.06011 120 89 19 12
588 The points are going to be astronomical. 1.3554 0.05611 121 87 25 9
589 I can't just give you a ticket for having a mid-life crisis. 1.3548 0.05633 124 90 24 10
590 What year in the future are you from? Well, in that case your tags are expired too. 1.3529 0.06037 119 89 18 12
591 This is area 52. A lot of people make that mistake. 1.3529 0.06037 119 89 18 12
592 Out of curiosity, how do you make a left turn in this bad boy? 1.3529 0.05145 119 82 32 5
593 Hey buddy, you need to cool your jets. 1.3529 0.05282 119 83 30 6
594 If you're a rocket scientist, how come I caught you? 1.3529 0.05918 119 88 20 11
595 So,what's the big hurry? 1.3529 0.06037 119 89 18 12
596 We've had reports of a sonic boom. 1.3529 0.05672 119 86 24 9
597 Oh, you set the record alright. Biggest fine I've ever handed out. 1.3529 0.05796 119 87 22 10
598 You were going Mach 3 in a Mach 1. 1.3529 0.05918 119 88 20 11
599 So, what's our hurry? 1.3500 0.05632 120 87 24 9
600 The land speed record isn't the only record you're going to set today, Pal. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
601 Sir, did you know that you’re driving with a melted taillight? 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
602 Let's start with your smog certificate. 1.3475 0.05433 118 84 27 7
603 I'm sorry sir but reentry speed in this state is still 55 mph. 1.3475 0.05694 118 86 23 9
604 This is an HOV lane. 1.3475 0.05943 118 88 19 11
605 No, the ticket isn't for speeding. It is for the bus you incinerated back in town. 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
606 It's the Trump sticker, isn't it? 1.3475 0.05943 118 88 19 11
607 Are you aware your left tail light is broken? 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
608 How exactly did you catch me officer? 1.3475 0.05298 118 83 29 6
609 Is there a problem, officer? 1.3475 0.05943 118 88 19 11
610 I didn't pull you over for speeding, it's your carbon footprint. 1.3475 0.05694 118 86 23 9
611 I'm gonna let you go on the 37,000 in a 65, but your left tail light's out. 1.3475 0.05694 118 86 23 9
612 A satellite phone is still a phone, sir. 1.3475 0.05298 118 83 29 6
613 I'll need to see your driver's license, pilot's licence, flight plan and smog certificate. 1.3475 0.05943 118 88 19 11
614 Do you know how I stopped you. 1.3475 0.06063 118 89 17 12
615 I'm going to need your license, registration and one helluva explanation. 1.3475 0.05433 118 84 27 7
616 Technically speaking I wasn't driving to fast, I was just flying to low. 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
617 Doesn't look like a hybrid to me. 1.3475 0.05433 118 84 27 7
618 Do you know how fast you we're going? That's not a rhetorical question; my radar gun doesn't go that high ... 1.3475 0.05694 118 86 23 9
619 No, you just have a tail light out. 1.3475 0.05160 118 82 31 5
620 Radar picked you up at 35 mph in a 30 mph speed zone. 1.3475 0.06063 118 89 17 12
621 Hey, cool your jets. 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
622 You see officer, the Doppler effect made the red light look green... 1.3475 0.06182 118 90 15 13
623 Just cool your jets, and everything'll be fine. 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
624 You can see my driver's license - but you won't be able to read it without your Buck Rogers decoder ring. 1.3475 0.05943 118 88 19 11
625 You've got T minus three seconds to show me your license and registration. 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
626 Dammit Elon. 1.3475 0.05943 118 88 19 11
627 I clocked you at 16,640 miles per hour in a 35 miles per hour zone. 1.3475 0.06182 118 90 15 13
628 You ran a sound barrier back there. 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
629 Mid-life crisis eh? 1.3475 0.05017 118 81 33 4
630 You are probably going to notice a rate adjustment on your insurance. 1.3475 0.04871 118 80 35 3
631 You know you have a melted tail light? 1.3475 0.05694 118 86 23 9
632 Sorry, you're still not flying under the radar. 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
633 Texting while thrusting is not permitted. 1.3475 0.05298 118 83 29 6
634 Sir, I'm going to need you to step out of your vehicle and give me a sobriety test. 1.3475 0.06182 118 90 15 13
635 We use turn signals around here, buddy. 1.3475 0.05017 118 81 33 4
636 Ground control? You're lookin' at him, Tom. 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
637 No front plate. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
638 You weren't speeding but you were in the HOV lane. 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
639 You were doing Mach 3 in a Mach 1 zone. 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
640 I'm sorry officer. I had a plane to catch. 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
641 Traveling at the speed of light doesn't sound cool now, does it? 1.3448 0.06011 116 87 18 11
642 Because you were texting. 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
643 No, Mr. Musk, this is Ohio. 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
644 no, it's definitely earth ... 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
645 It's for excessive overcompensation. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
646 You singed a cow on the last curve. 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
647 You failed to use your directional signal when you turned left twelve hundred miles ago. 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
648 You failed to signal before reentry, sir. 1.3448 0.05210 116 81 30 5
649 Radar had you at 7,534 mph but I am going to write the ticket for 20 over. Happy Holidays son and slow down. 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
650 Hope your insurance covers a broken sound barrier. 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
651 Compensating much? 1.3448 0.06135 116 88 16 12
652 This can all go away if I can drive. 1.3448 0.06135 116 88 16 12
653 I need to see you license, registration and flight plan. 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
654 Nice try, but you've got until January 20 to make it to Canada. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
655 Your license plates expired three light years ago. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
656 You know you were going the speed of light in a speed of sound zone? 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
657 I pulled you over for rocketeering. 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
658 No, not driving too fast. You were flying too low. 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
659 Sir, do you know why I stopped you? 1.3419 0.06089 117 89 16 12
660 Did you know that your left afterburner was out? 1.3419 0.05451 117 84 26 7
661 No, Officer. I'm not in any particular hurry. 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
662 I don't think your boss meant to take *this* shuttle to the airport. 1.3419 0.05715 117 86 22 9
663 Sorry, you're still in America. 1.3419 0.05451 117 84 26 7
664 Do you have any idea why I pulled you over? 1.3419 0.05715 117 86 22 9
665 I understand that it was an emergency landing but you still blew right through that stop sign. 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
666 You failed to use your turn signal two states ago. 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
667 No Officer, I was going way too fast to see the speed limit 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
668 Looks like you get to set two records today. 1.3419 0.05715 117 86 22 9
669 You need a new muffler 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
670 License, registration, and launch orders please. 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
671 Relax, I just want to know what kind of mileage you get? 1.3419 0.05451 117 84 26 7
672 George Jetson, meet Officer Muldoon. 1.3419 0.06089 117 89 16 12
673 What is it this time, Elon? 1.3419 0.05967 117 88 18 11
674 Global entry and registration. 1.3419 0.05967 117 88 18 11
675 I'm sorry officer, I didn't even see that sound barrier. 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
676 Don't know how fast you were going? That makes two of us. 1.3419 0.05173 117 82 30 5
677 I assume you know how fast you were going. 1.3400 0.05724 100 71 24 5
678 I'm gonna knock it down to mach 1 to help you with the points seeing how you were nice enough to wait for me and all. 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
679 You're a long way from Cape Canaveral, kid... 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
680 I'm sorry, but this is an off-road vehicle sir. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
681 Immigration papers, please. 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
682 This is registered as a hybrid? 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
683 It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that you blew through that stop sign. 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
684 It comes to $184,752 or you can see the judge on Thursday. 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
685 I am going to have to cite you for breaking and entering the sound barrier. 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
686 Sorry officer, I just spaced out. 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
687 Having a blast were you? 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
688 Yes, a record. No, not in a good way. 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
689 I had you clocked at Mach 3 in a Mach 2 zone. 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
690 Heading to Canada I assume? 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
691 Nope! Tail light. 1.3391 0.06037 115 87 17 11
692 Look, I get it, we're all in a rush to get out of this year. 1.3391 0.06162 115 88 15 12
693 Your emissions sticker as expired. 1.3391 0.06162 115 88 15 12
694 You're not wearing a seatbelt. 1.3391 0.06037 115 87 17 11
695 Do you have any idea how slow time was going? 1.3391 0.06037 115 87 17 11
696 The problem? You flew over a red light. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
697 No, it's not a speeding ticket. It's an emissions citation. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
698 Don't be silly, officer. I was going waaay faster than that! 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
699 I understand, sir, but you can make it to Canada before Inauguration Day without driving 950 miles per hour. 1.3391 0.06037 115 87 17 11
700 I don't care that your son is an Honors Student 1.3391 0.06037 115 87 17 11
701 I have to cite you for speeding, but I can overlook breaking the sound barrier. 1.3391 0.05224 115 81 29 5
702 World record or no world record, you didn't signal back there 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
703 Sorry about this speeding ticket, but if I let it go everyone would use that excuse. 1.3391 0.06162 115 88 15 12
704 Next time I see you, you better be going up. 1.3391 0.05224 115 81 29 5
705 I don’t care that your wife took the Tesla, Mr. Musk. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
706 Even at the speed of sound, you should've seen the flashing lights 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
707 Nice, and now you have the speeding fine record also. 1.3391 0.06162 115 88 15 12
708 I’m only going to write you up for the sound barrier. 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
709 Did you really think you could outrun me? 1.3391 0.06037 115 87 17 11
710 License, registration, and speed limit in the year you traveled from, please. 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
711 Well, just for openers you broke the sound barrier... in a school zone 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
712 Do you know how I pulled you over? 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
713 I'll give you a warning if you promise to help my kid with his science project. 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
714 We're more down to earth around here. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
715 I need you to step out of the vehicle for a field sobriety test. Please take one small step for man and one giant leap for mankind. 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
716 And don't start your car until I have gone ahead of you! 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
717 Ignorance of the law of gravity is no excuse. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
718 Your registration expired a light year ago. 1.3391 0.06037 115 87 17 11
719 Did you know your tail lights are on fire? 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
720 Going to live on the moon is not a viable response to a Trump presidency. 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
721 License, registration, and Environmental Impact Statement, please. 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
722 A Maserati wasn't good enough? 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
723 Your exhaust incinerated three cars at the last intersection. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
724 and you say you've never been stopped before. 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
725 Did you know you're driving with three bald tires? 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
726 Did I forget to signal on re-entry? 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
727 Your brake lights melted. 1.3390 0.05412 118 85 26 7
728 Ok, I'll just give you a warning, but stay off your cellphone. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
729 I gotta admit, that was one heck of a U-Turn. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
730 Do you know why I pulled you over, Mr. Musk? 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
731 I don't care. You still have to signal!! 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
732 Let's try and keep it under the limit, at least till you reach the Canadian border. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
733 You were on my radar. 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
734 You were good till you got in the HOV lane. 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
735 The day you reach light speed will be the day you don't get pulled over. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
736 You guys just can't get to Canada fast enough can you? 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
737 You were breaking the sound barrier. Also, your tail light is out. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
738 License, registration and proof of sanity. 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
739 I don't care if you're moving to Canada, sir, you need to slow down. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
740 Well the texting is just the icing on the poor judgment cake. 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
741 Yes, I'm the guy from the Elton John song. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
742 Please keep your tiny hands where I can see them. 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
743 This is one small ticket for man, one giant... 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
744 Canada? 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
745 Are you maching me, young man? 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
746 Have another guess, sir. Warp 1 isn't even close. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
747 When was your last emissions inspection? 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
748 Nope, it is not your taillight. Guess again. 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
749 Your tail lights are smoking. 1.3333 0.06188 114 88 14 12
750 I'll let you off this time. But next time, don't forget to signal when entering the atmosphere. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
751 License and proof of sanity please 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
752 You ain't from 'round this planet, are y' boy? 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
753 Sir, do you have any idea why I pulled you over? 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
754 Keep your hands off your joystick. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
755 I’ve got you clocked at Mach 2 in a 40 mph zone. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
756 Do you know why I stopped you? 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
757 I'm no rocket scientist, but it appears you are suffering from projectile dysfunction 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
758 Registration, insurance and flight plan, please. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
759 I don't know where you're from, but that kind of thing doesn't fly around here. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
760 Your license plate has melted. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
761 When was the last time you updated your GPS? 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
762 Do you know why I'm stopping you? 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
763 You can't exceed the speed of light. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
764 Your left rear rocket thrustor indicator light is out. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
765 We got a report from Houston that this vehicle is hot. 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
766 Sir you were doing speed-of-light in a speed-of-sound zone. 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
767 The fact I caught up to you should tell you this isn't as cool as it looks. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
768 I clocked you at 17,500 mph, but I wrote this out for 42 in a 35 zone, so there won't be any points. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
769 You're probably wondering *how* I pulled you over. 1.3304 0.05888 115 87 18 10
770 I'm giving you a ticket for the speeding and a high-five for the landing. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
771 Could you turn down the Elton John? 1.3304 0.06141 115 89 14 12
772 Elon? Could you spell that please? 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
773 I found it at a yard sale after he abolished NASA. 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
774 Just a warning. The shock cones on your port aft booster looked a bit wobbly. Ought to check those nozzle skirts. 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
775 Please tell me you know why I stopped you. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
776 I'll just give you a test ticket, then. 1.3304 0.05051 115 81 30 4
777 Please step out of the rocket and count backwards from 10 1.3304 0.05888 115 87 18 10
778 You were doing the speed of light but I'm only writing you up for the speed of sound. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
779 Do you know you"re driving with a defective flux-capacitor?" 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
780 Dude, didn't think I'd catch you? 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
781 I'm telling you -- the speed of light isn't just a good idea, it's the law. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
782 And I thought I had a tiny penis! 1.3304 0.06385 115 91 10 14
783 Did you know you were doing 3,000 in a 30 mile per hour zone? 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
784 Impossible - this flies under the radar. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
785 Any idea why I stopped you? 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
786 I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
787 And, this is a carpool lane. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
788 Do you really not know why I pulled you over? 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
789 How much to take me with you? 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
790 In these parts I am the leader. 1.3304 0.06391 112 88 11 13
791 When was the last time this thing had a smog test? 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
792 And this one is for catching you. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
793 Look, you and I both know you're just trying to meet this month's quota. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
794 Do you know you were doing Mach .9215 in a Mach .0657 zone? 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
795 Just try to keep it under Mach 1, okay? 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
796 I'm sorry officer, I couldn't get to Canada fast enough 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
797 Your sonic booms are disturbing our free-range chickens. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
798 The phosphor diffusion dome on the light emitting diode in the seventh position of your left-rear-tail-light array is malfunctioning 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
799 Alright Bud, where's the supernova? 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
800 OK, sir, when's the last time you had those emissions tested? 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
801 Just a warning for now, but next time make sure you stay subsonic in residential areas, OK? 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
802 Quick, I have come from the future to warn you about an election. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
803 I'm sure you are a little surprised I caught up to you, Mr. Musk. 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
804 Well, the speed of light may be relative where you come from sir, but around here it's a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second, and I clocked you at one-ninety. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
805 Do you have any idea how fast you were going? I sure don't ... 1.3304 0.05135 112 79 29 4
806 The posted speed limit is not in miles per minute. 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
807 Yeah, since the election everyone's trying to get out of town in a hurry. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
808 I'm letting you off with a warning this time, but let's keep it under the sound barrier. 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
809 You say you were driving at the speed of sound and you couldn't hear me? 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
810 This must be soooome midlife crisis. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
811 Need a booster? 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
812 No, really....HOW did you convince your wife to let you get this! 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
813 Where do you put the groceries 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
814 If it was a record, then how did I catch you? 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
815 I couldn't help but notice you didn't make a full stop back there. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
816 Yes, Mr. President Elect... it is huge. 1.3304 0.06134 112 86 15 11
817 Sir, the space race is over. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
818 I have to admit. I wasn't sure what it would take for me to pull over a white guy... 1.3304 0.06264 112 87 13 12
819 Im giving you a speeding ticket. It doesn't take rocket science to figure it out. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
820 Don't make me say: "Do you know why I pulled you over?' 1.3304 0.05289 112 80 27 5
821 If I see you on this planet again you can bet it will be more than a warning. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
822 Sir, did you realize your taillights have melted? 1.3304 0.04811 112 77 33 2
823 I'm fairly confident it was you, not the white minivan, traveling 600 miles per hour over the speed limit. 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
824 Sorry, sir. You can't speed through the next four years. 1.3304 0.05289 112 80 27 5
825 I bet you have really small feet. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
826 I don't care what star ship you're from, I need proof of insurance. 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
827 I could cite you for failing to stop at the sound barrier, but you melted all the bugs off my car, so I'm letting you go with a warning. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
828 But officer, I have to get to Canada before January 20th! 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
829 State law requires you to have a front license plate. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
830 Do you have any weapons I should know about? 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
831 Yeah, it's the speeding, but it's really about the two states you just torched. 1.3304 0.06264 112 87 13 12
832 I can't tell you how fast you were going, but let's just say my radar gun melted. 1.3304 0.05289 112 80 27 5
833 You were absolutely flying. 1.3304 0.05135 112 79 29 4
834 You in a hurry? 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
835 evidently not fast enough 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
836 I'll be citing you for one sonic boom. 1.3274 0.05399 113 82 25 6
837 Your left-turn signal's been on for the past 300 miles. 1.3274 0.05543 113 83 23 7
838 I pulled you over because you were doing Mach 1.2 in a 55mph zone. 1.3274 0.05821 113 85 19 9
839 Mr. Gordon... or would you prefer "Flash"? 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
840 License, registration, proof of insurance, & U-235 fuel authorization. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
841 I guess you didn't hear my siren while you were breaking the sound barrier. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
842 You're probably wondering *how* I pulled you over. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
843 Yeah, you also broke the law barrier. 1.3243 0.06160 111 86 14 11
844 Street legal? I'm not even sure if this is sky legal. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
845 Of course I was speeding but how in the world did you catch me? 1.3243 0.06025 111 85 16 10
846 Sorry sir, but there's a new rule around here. No texting while rocketing. 1.3243 0.04816 111 77 32 2
847 So . . . you know why I pulled you over, right? 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
848 For breaking and entering the sound barrier. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
849 Sir, do you know why I pulled you down? 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
850 By definition, it's only a tricycle. 1.3243 0.05145 111 79 28 4
851 What's your second guess? 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
852 Or . . . you let me take her for a few laps and we call it a broken tail light. 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
853 In my defense, I thought I was flying beneath the radar. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
854 I see you have quite a few unpaid parking tickets. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
855 And where is the fire, sir? 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
856 Even I don't know how I caught up to you. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
857 And there's also the little matter of burning bridges. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
858 Don't mach the law, son. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
859 And I think it's gonna be a long, long time. 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
860 Never mach a cop. 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
861 Right tail light is broken 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
862 Legally, this is a motorcycle since it only has 3 wheels. I'll need to see your motorcycle license, sir. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
863 You were going Mach 2 in a school zone. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
864 No, I would not like to see you do a wheelie. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
865 Pilot's license and registration. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
866 Okay, pal, where's the nova? 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
867 Busted tail light? 1.3243 0.06160 111 86 14 11
868 If I can catch you, you'd better take it back to the shop. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
869 Congratulations. Send it to Guinness after paying your three hundred bucks. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
870 The old I-traveled-forward-in-time excuse for expired plates, eh? 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
871 I'll let you go with a warning this time, but get that tail light fixed. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
872 That your booster engine back there in the culvert? 1.3214 0.05703 112 84 20 8
873 No, Frank Gordon. Flash is my brother. 1.3214 0.05107 112 80 28 4
874 Your License shows Neptune, do you still live at that address? 1.3214 0.05703 112 84 20 8
875 I don't care if you're the CEO of "SpaceX" you were going 300 in a 35. 1.3214 0.05262 112 81 26 5
876 Sorry, I didn't even see that town... 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
877 I'm guessing you failed your emissions test. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
878 Do you have any idea how low you were flying?! 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
879 Yes, I know we are in Kansas, but when you passed through Boston, I noticed your broken tail light. 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
880 Well your not going to get to Mars today! 1.3182 0.05314 110 80 25 5
881 I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard that one. 1.3182 0.05314 110 80 25 5
882 Is my tail light out again? 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
883 Afterburners are illegal in this state. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
884 Too much ego in a pastoral zone. 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
885 But I AM cooling my jets officer! 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
886 Since you refused the breathalyzer, please get out of the car and take one small step for man and one giant leap for mankind. 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
887 Cool your jets, you just need to repair that tail light. 1.3182 0.05155 110 79 27 4
888 Where's the quasar, buddy? 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
889 You were clocked at 48,006 entering our atmosphere. 1.3182 0.06185 110 86 13 11
890 I saw the election results. I'm going to let you off with a warning. Welcome to Canada. 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
891 Rocket Man, it's been a long, long time. 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
892 That's the third 'bathroom' excuse I've heard today. 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
893 How long have you been working for Uber? 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
894 Sir, you are required to have a front license plate 1.3182 0.05314 110 80 25 5
895 Couldn't help but notice you weren't wearing a seatbelt. 1.3182 0.06185 110 86 13 11
896 Why do you think I pulled you over? 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
897 You'll also be having an end-life crisis if you continue going at that speed. 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
898 You do know that the Darwin Award is not a trophy? 1.3182 0.06185 110 86 13 11
899 What do you mean "are we still in Kansas?" 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
900 You from outta state? 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
901 Please sir, I'm gonna be late for the launch party. 1.3182 0.04991 110 78 29 3
902 Sir, are you aware your left tail light is out? 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
903 To prevent any further suspicions, can you please open your trunk? 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
904 Your left taillight is vaporized sir. 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
905 I think it's gonna be a long, long time Rocket Man 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
906 Did you know you hit a speed bump in South Carolina and landed here in Virginia? 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
907 Your insurance premiums must be sky high. 1.3182 0.05155 110 79 27 4
908 Rocket scientist, I presume. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
909 In a hurry to leave the planet? 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
910 All right, where's the Supernova? 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
911 You were doing 3,200 in a 35 mph zone 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
912 Sir, did you know that you have a taillight out? 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
913 Did you realize that you have a broken tail light? 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
914 Did you know your tail lamp is on fire? 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
915 You flew passed a stop sign. 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
916 "Do you have any idea what your carbon footprint is? 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
917 This is a win-win: you just set a new land speed record and the amount of this ticket I can coast on the job for the next 10 years. 1.3153 0.06136 111 87 13 11
918 I guess you'll just have to be late for your ComicCon convention. 1.3153 0.05427 111 82 23 6
919 No, you weren't speeding. Your tail light is out 1.3148 0.05978 108 83 16 9
920 I don't care if you come from 2056, I still need to see license and registration. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
921 Were you aware that you were going 35,940 miles per hour over the speed limit? 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
922 A rocket scientist, I take it? 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
923 I wanted to get some use of it before funding is cut. 1.3148 0.05204 108 78 26 4
924 What do you mean you doubted the rumour of intelligent beings here on earth sir... 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
925 Thanks for pulling over. 1.3148 0.05204 108 78 26 4
926 Let me guess. They ran out of rental cars at the airport. 1.3148 0.05035 108 77 28 3
927 No, you weren't speeding, but your turn signal's melted. 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
928 Did you know you had a tail light out? 1.3148 0.05978 108 83 16 9
929 Sorry for stopping you, Sir; you were going so fast I didn't see you're white. 1.3148 0.06397 108 86 10 12
930 I'm sorry officer, I didn't hear the siren. 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
931 Were you aware you were going Mach 5 in a Mach 3 zone? 1.3148 0.05204 108 78 26 4
932 So you're not the man they think you are at home? 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
933 Sir, do you have any idea which planet you're on? 1.3148 0.05204 108 78 26 4
934 Eject. 1.3148 0.05978 108 83 16 9
935 You must be the new head of the EPA? 1.3148 0.06261 108 85 12 11
936 'How much Tang have you had today/" 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
937 I'll give you a warning this time, but keep it under Mach 1 from now on. 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
938 Okay pal, where's the supernova? 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
939 I don't care if it was a perfect landing 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
940 license, registration, black box 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
941 Do you realize you were going Mach 3 in a 55-mile-an-hour zone? 1.3148 0.05204 108 78 26 4
942 I'm impressed that you broke Mach 3, but you still need to signal your turn. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
943 Didn't you see the sign, this is a no fly zone! 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
944 It's not rocket science. 1.3148 0.06121 108 84 14 10
945 What on earth were you thinking?"!? 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
946 Speeding? I was taking off. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
947 I'll let you off if you let me take it for a spin. 1.3148 0.05204 108 78 26 4
948 That wasn't just the sound barrier you broke back there. 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
949 Did you know we have a decibel limit in this town? 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
950 Thanks for the tow. 1.3148 0.05978 108 83 16 9
951 . . . and it'll be an extra $200 for breaking my radar gun. 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
952 No, I will NOT tell you how fast you were going! 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
953 I'll let you go, but hey, cool your jets, man! 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
954 No officer, I don't know why you pulled me over 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
955 Sir, are you aware that you have a tail light out? 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
956 I'm charging you with Driving While Ballistic. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
957 Your left blinker is out. 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
958 I ran your license, you have an unpaid speeding ticket from Mars. 1.3148 0.05204 108 78 26 4
959 I got you doing 600 in a 30 miles per hour zone, but I'll do you a favor and only put 590 on the ticket. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
960 Alright mister...cool your jets! 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
961 It's OK, I'm a rocket scientist. 1.3148 0.05978 108 83 16 9
962 A 'failure to launch' citation . . . really?!! 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
963 Did you know that your right rear brake light is out? 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
964 Frankly, if you were driving the Lockheed Stealth model, my radar would never have picked you up. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
965 Officer, you've got one hell of a patrol car there! 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
966 Area 51 exit is 2 miles down on the right. 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
967 Is that your booster rocket back about 600 miles? 1.3119 0.05483 109 81 22 6
968 Afternoon Sir, did you know you've got a tail light out? 1.3119 0.05785 109 83 18 8
969 Are you aware your tail lights are out? 1.3119 0.05930 109 84 16 9
970 It's a shuttle service 1.3119 0.05326 109 80 24 5
971 Don't be a wise guy. I'll ask you one more time: Where on earth are you coming from? 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
972 Well, Mr. Astronaut, the only space you're in now is mine. 1.3091 0.06023 110 86 14 10
973 If it means anything, I work for Richard Branson 1.3084 0.05851 107 82 17 8
974 For once there is actually no rule about this. 1.3084 0.05379 107 79 23 5
975 I'm going to have to cite you for going nowhere fast, sir. 1.3084 0.05999 107 83 15 9
976 What's seems to be the problem officer... 1.3084 0.05999 107 83 15 9
977 I can tell - You're not from around here - are you..... 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
978 License and explanation. 1.3084 0.05851 107 82 17 8
979 You broke my radar. 1.3084 0.05999 107 83 15 9
980 Sir, I know this is upsetting, but please cool your jets. 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
981 Did you know that both of your tail lights are burnt out? 1.3084 0.05698 107 81 19 7
982 Is this one of those Tesla's I've been hearing so much about? 1.3056 0.05803 108 83 17 8
983 The runway is that long landing strip with bright lights usually attached to an airport. 1.3056 0.05337 108 80 23 5
984 So it's driverless and you are just the stewardess? I don't think so. 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
985 Are you maching me, young man? 1.3056 0.05803 108 83 17 8
986 Do you not know why I pulled you over? 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
987 How fast? Isn't it your job to tell me? 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
988 I may now be younger than my license indicates. 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
989 Is that Sully with a "y"? 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
990 Officer what seems to be the problem? 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
991 Let me pull out before you engage the boosters. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
992 There are limits to white privilege, sir. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
993 Well Rocket Man, I think it's going to be a long, long time before you see your family again. 1.3019 0.06168 106 84 12 10
994 It was all about the boom, sir. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
995 Sir, have you consumed any Tang this evening? 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
996 I have friends in high places. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
997 Do you know why I'm pulling you over? 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
998 Are you hiding any illegal aliens? 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
999 I truly did not know where the registration sticker was supposed to go. 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
1000 Sorry, but I'm not buying the 'broken speedometer' excuse. 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
1001 The bad news is you're under arrest. The good news is you set a new land speed record. 1.3019 0.05046 106 77 26 3
1002 Well, at least you're not drunk. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1003 I'll let you go this time, but just because you came in peace for all mankind. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1004 We're going to need a bigger tow truck. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1005 License and alien registration card please. 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1006 No, you're about 2,000 miles east of Bonneville 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1007 Do you know how fast you were going? I would love to know. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1008 Seatbelt? 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1009 No, I can't forget it just this once. 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1010 My other car is a Prius. 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
1011 I wanted you to feel the Burn 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1012 What's the hurry? 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1013 Let's start with the fact that your inspection sticker has expired, and go from there.... 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1014 I knew you'd run out of gas eventually, so I just followed your smoke trail. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1015 Flying low, aren't we? 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1016 Mr. Houston, we have a problem. 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
1017 Not your driver's license. Your pilot's license. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1018 I will let you off with a warning if you let me take it for a spin. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1019 What do you mean Tesla merged with SpaceX?! 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1020 Why me? I’ve been passed six times in the last mile. 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1021 Do you know how fast you were going? Because I don't. 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1022 It's a good thing you're white 1.2991 0.05821 107 83 16 8
1023 Do you have any idea how low you were flying?! 1.2991 0.04827 107 77 28 2
1024 I don't care how quickly you want to get to Canada. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1025 You were going 24,975 miles per hour over the speed limit. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1026 How fast do you think you were going? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1027 Don't explain...mid-life crisis and they were out of red corvettes 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1028 No, we can't just say the dimming glow of your afterburners is like a brake light. 1.2981 0.06244 104 83 11 10
1029 Do you realize you doing 1,285 in a 35 zone? 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1030 Faster than the speed of light, Bub. You can't do that. 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1031 What year is this? 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1032 Thanks for waiting. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1033 And lastly, let me pull out before you fire this up again. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1034 I don't care if your father walked on Mars. You're still getting a ticket. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1035 As a matter of fact, officer, it is rocket science. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1036 Is there a problem, Earthling Authority Figure? 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1037 It does not matter where you are from. In this universe, the speed of light is the absolute limit. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1038 So you're telling me you didn't see the sound barrier back there? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1039 This is your last warning, Mr. Musk -- cars on the road, rockets in the sky. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1040 Is there a reason why you were going 7,000 miles per hour in a 50 mile per hour zone? 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1041 I'm sorry officer. It's a rental and I did not realize how fast it was going 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1042 Where's the fire? 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1043 You took off like a rocket back there. 1.2981 0.05091 104 76 25 3
1044 Hi, I am from the future. I am looking for baby named Donald Trump? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1045 Ok, on Mars you can go as fast as you like, but in Cayuga County we like 55. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1046 Passport and registration, please. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1047 Did you know your right taillight is out? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1048 Your turn signal is burned out. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1049 You mean my ground speed? No idea. Want to see my escape velocity? 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1050 No, I was not spacial profiling. 1.2981 0.06092 104 82 13 9
1051 Following the speed limit isn't rocket science. 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1052 Let me guess. Canada? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1053 Do you have any idea how high you were going? 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1054 I had you clocked at the speed of light in a speed of sound zone. 1.2981 0.06092 104 82 13 9
1055 Sir, I'm going to need to see the results of your emission test. 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1056 Good afternoon, sir. Are you aware that your left rear tail light is out? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1057 No sir, I'm citing you for literally burning up the road. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1058 Do you know why I pulled you out of orbit, sir? 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1059 We call it our stealth radar. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1060 Not so fast, wise guy--this is a pilot's license. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1061 Do you know why I pulled you down? 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1062 I wasn't speeding. Iwas just landing. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1063 One of your tail lights is busted 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1064 Sorry Officer, I just wanted to make sure I made it out of the country before January 20th. 1.2981 0.06092 104 82 13 9
1065 You're telling me to cool my jets? 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1066 I understand your hurry to get to Canada, but there is still plenty of time before Inauguration Day. 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1067 Sir, are you aware your left side booster is out? 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1068 Do you have any idea how phallic you were going? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1069 Did you know you were going past the speed of light in a school zone? 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1070 Mach 3 is over the limit no matter where you're driving, sir. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1071 I thought you guys were only stopping illegal aliens. 1.2981 0.06244 104 83 11 10
1072 Speed limits aren't rocket science. 1.2981 0.06092 104 82 13 9
1073 You were three light years over the speed limit. 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1074 You were really flying back there. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1075 I'm going to let you off with my ex-wife's address. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1076 Cool your jets or I'll write you another. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1077 It's just a citation this time but you'd better get that thruster fixed. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1078 I literally can't drive 55. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1079 Your tail light is broken. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1080 Your warp speed light is out. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1081 Talk about a midlife crisis! 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1082 Nice rig, sir, but I'm going to have to fine you for my melted windshield—and that pointy thing has got to go. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1083 Sir, your carbon-footprint is larger than your vehicle. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1084 We stop anyone who looks like an alien. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1085 Any chance of you bringing this thing to my son's birthday party? 1.2981 0.05091 104 76 25 3
1086 Your plates are expired, just like the shuttle program. 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1087 I understand Trump won, but you can't just leave the planet sir. 1.2981 0.06092 104 82 13 9
1088 It's your tail lights. They keep setting the cars behind you on fire. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1089 What does "Black Lives Matter" have to do with this? My radar says you were going 1000 miles per hour In a 50 zone. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1090 There once was a man from Docket, Who’s car was a very large rocket. When stopped by police, For breaking the peace, said, “It’s just an old Oldsmobile Rocket!” 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1091 Sorry, officer - I was just trying to get to the Canada border before they finish building the wall. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1092 The fine for 4500 in a 35 is...do you have a calculator? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1093 Were you aware you have a tail light out? 1.2981 0.06092 104 82 13 9
1094 I don't care if it spoils the aerodynamics. You have to have a front bumper. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1095 Did you know your tail light is out? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1096 I'm afraid you were going Mach 5 in a school zone. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1097 Your left afterburner is out. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1098 Are you living here legally, sir? 1.2981 0.06092 104 82 13 9
1099 So, you're saying you had to speed up to avoid hitting a meteor? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1100 If I was going that fast, how did you catch me 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1101 Do you know how long it's taken me to catch up to you? 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1102 Texting in an Atlas Delta IV, are we? 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1103 You asked why I stopped you, How about because "YOU WERE TEXTING!" 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1104 Mind if we take a selfie? 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1105 I'd like to look in your trunk. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1106 You didn't hear the siren? 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1107 The reason I stopped you is because your front plate is missing. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1108 I'll pay you $100 to take a selfie where it looks like I'm giving you a speeding citation." 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1109 Are you aware you have a broken tail light? 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
1110 Okay Mr. Time Traveler, if you're from four years the future, tell me the winner of the World Series and the Presidential election in 2016? 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
1111 Let me guess, you were spacing out? 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1112 Yes, I'm sure the radar gun was registering you and not that Volkswagen Beetle. 1.2952 0.05228 105 78 23 4
1113 Are you aware you were doing 25,000 in a 45mph zone? 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
1114 No, your tail lights were fine. 1.2952 0.06190 105 84 11 10
1115 Where's your helmet? 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
1116 You almost made five simultaneous yellow lights. 1.2925 0.05522 106 81 19 6
1117 We have a law against warp speed in this county, mister. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1118 Do you know that your taillight is out? 1.2925 0.05838 106 83 15 8
1119 I don't care if you are Chuck Yeager. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1120 You were doing 600 in a 65. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1121 Do you have any idea what the fine is for going 922 in a 65 zone? 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
1122 Bruce Wayne? Why does that name sound familiar? 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1123 I passed stage one of your rocket 400 miles back, so there'll be an additional fine for littering. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1124 I don't care if you were trying to get away from the election results 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
1125 I'm citing you for flying under my radar. 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
1126 Sir, Texas law requires side view mirrors on all road traffic. 1.2913 0.04904 103 75 26 2
1127 This is a no-fly zone. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1128 So welcome to fly-over country. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1129 Sir, this isn't rocket science. Just please step out of the vehicle. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1130 First of all, you have no beard; secondly, you have no toys; and finally, that is not a red nose. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1131 I had you going 10,000mph in a 50mph zone. 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
1132 Sir, did you realize you were going mach 0.0912 in a mach 0.0584 zone? 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
1133 Wow, you really flew through that stop sign back there... 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1134 Thats right; twenty seven in a twenty five zone. 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
1135 Do you know how fast "I" was going? 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
1136 Let's see ... doing Mach 2 in a school zone & failure to stop within 3 miles ... yea buddy, it'll be pricey. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1137 Can you explain why you were going so fast ? 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1138 Trump! That's why so fast, officer. Canada isn't far enough, I'm going to Mars. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1139 Elton John? 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
1140 Jets fan? 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1141 Know why I pulled you down? 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1142 Sir, I don't care what you're making great again. 1.2913 0.06267 103 83 10 10
1143 The m in 20 mph is for miles, not mach. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1144 D'ja know you have a taillight out? 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1145 Sorry, but your excuse that you were about to be 'late for launch' just won't cut it. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1146 Rocket Fuel!?!... were you drinking it or driving it? 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
1147 Both of your taillights are burned out. 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
1148 I'm just issuing you a warning this time, cool your jets! 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1149 Your rear license plate is missing. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1150 I was? 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1151 Well, you've certainly set a record for road kill 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
1152 Sir, I suggest you buckle your seat belt. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1153 Did you know your tail lights are burned out? 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1154 Sir, are you aware that you were going 17,640 in a 40 mph zone? 1.2913 0.04904 103 75 26 2
1155 Flying a little low, aren't we. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1156 You blew right through a stop sign back there, and a tree, and a barn, and... 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1157 You from around these parts? 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1158 Any reason why you were speeding? 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1159 Yes, Sir, zero to 60 in .0001 is awesome, but it ain't legal. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1160 No, if you were speeding I couldn't have caught you. But I'm guessing you are going to fail the smog test, not to mention the three birds you barbecued back there. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1161 EZ PASS doesn't mean you can drive OVER the toll booth. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1162 I'm trying to figure how I caught up to you as well. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1163 I'm making America fast again. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1164 Do you even know where Canada is? 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
1165 Please step out of the vehicle, Mr. Musk. 1.2913 0.05094 103 76 24 3
1166 The North Koreans are demanding the return of their 'Miata.' 1.2885 0.05744 104 81 16 7
1167 I don't care if it stalls out under 250. 1.2885 0.05053 104 77 24 3
1168 I profiled you as a speeder. 1.2885 0.05905 104 82 14 8
1169 Your right blinker is out. You could really hurt someone. 1.2885 0.05744 104 81 16 7
1170 Your tail light is defective. 1.2857 0.06009 105 84 12 9
1171 I'll give you a break and cite you for just Mach 2. 1.2844 0.05695 109 86 15 8
1172 I had you doing 2 Mach in a school zone 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1173 really? 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1174 In case you are wondering why I pulled you over, you popped that whole cornfield back there without the owner's permission. 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1175 You know you were doing Mach 2 in a Mach 1 zone? 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1176 It' a rental -- I was bumped up to "super-size". 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1177 Are you aware your registration expired two light-years ago? 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1178 It's not rocket science, the speed limit is 25 miles an hour. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1179 Do you realize you were doing Mach 2 in a Mach 1 zone? 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1180 What to you think you got here, a rocket ship? 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1181 I don't care what century you are from, Buck; your exhaust exceeds the legal limit! 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1182 Your right tail light is out. 1.2843 0.06290 102 83 9 10
1183 Do you have any idea why I pulled you over? 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1184 Your left thruster light is out. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1185 ...And, you are not wearing a seat belt. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1186 Sir, I pulled you over for doing Mach 2 in a 30mph zone... 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1187 Did you know you were going warp 2 in a school zone? 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1188 Sir, where are your headlights? 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1189 Even if you weren't breaking the speed limit, you were thinking about it 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1190 I'm giving you this ticket because you look like you were speeding 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1191 Sorry I stopped you-- I thought you were black. 1.2843 0.06290 102 83 9 10
1192 Are you aware that you have a busted tail light? 1.2843 0.05096 102 76 23 3
1193 I gotcha for violating the space-time continuum in a 55mph. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1194 The M stands for Miles, not Mach. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1195 You're not wearing a seatbelt. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1196 You understand that the town has a sound barrier ordinance? 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1197 I clocked you doing Mach 5 in a 25. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1198 I’m not ticketing you for speeding. I’m ticketing you for the passive-aggressive point you’re making. 1.2843 0.04700 102 74 27 1
1199 Sorry pal but the speed limit in Los Alamos is 3000 mph 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1200 Sir, did you know your tail lights have burned out? 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1201 I don't care if the speed limit isn't posted, the sound barrier isn't a good rule of thumb. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1202 Do you know why I stopped you? 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1203 I expected a rocket scientist to know better. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1204 What's the problem, officer? 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1205 I know you're in a big hurry to get to Canada, but you still have to obey traffic laws. 1.2843 0.05096 102 76 23 3
1206 For not wearing a helmet. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1207 fifty three thousand in a thirty-five zone. This one's gonna cost you. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1208 Sir, do you know why I pulled you over? 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1209 Did you know that one of your tail lights is burned out? 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1210 Do you know why I had you pull over yesterday? 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1211 Yeah you rolled right through that stop sign. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1212 Your tail light is out. 1.2843 0.06133 102 82 11 9
1213 Pilot's license and registration, please. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1214 Do you know why I'm pulling you over? You LITERALLY blew through that stop sign. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1215 Mach two. That's why you didn't hear the siren. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1216 Your ticket is going to be out of this world. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1217 I understand all that, but your taillight is still out. 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1218 You have a little time, sir- Trump isn't President until January 20th 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1219 You do realize that was a 'No Re-entry Zone' back there? 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1220 I stopped you because you've got a broken cloaking device. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1221 Did you know you were doing Mach 2 in a 50 mph zone? 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1222 Both your tail lights are burned out 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1223 I noticed you were using a hand held mobile device 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1224 I just wanted to ask what kind of mileage you get. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1225 Both your tail lights burned out. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1226 Please, officer, one more ticket and my insurance premium will skyrocket! 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1227 Are you aware you took one giant leap through that red light? 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1228 We all want to be out of here before he takes office, but you can't drive that fast on these roads. 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1229 Radar doesn't lie sir, you were doing Mach 5 in a 35 zone... 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1230 Do you have any idea how fast you were Boeing? 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1231 Wow, breaking the sound barrier in a school zone. This is gonna cost you, buddy. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1232 I'll let you go this time if you promise not to make another sonic boom. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1233 Did you know that you have a burnt taillight? 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1234 It doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess why I pulled you over. 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1235 You know your left thruster's out, sir? 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1236 Do you know you went through a red light 280 miles back? 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1237 Next time keep it below the speed of sound. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1238 I'm afraid that you failed to yield at the last State. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1239 I thought that was miles per minute. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1240 A space station reprovisioning emergency, eh? You're the third guy this week with that one. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1241 Doing five hundred in a four-fifty zone. 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1242 I just wanted to see if your lights shifted from blue to red when I passed you. 1.2800 0.06044 100 80 12 8
1243 Wow, it didn't feel like I was going that fast. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1244 Did you know you were going 17,000 mph in a 30 mph zone? 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1245 I'm writing you a ticket for the speeding, and an invoice for the radar gun you melted. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1246 The police car? Yeah, it's a hemi. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1247 Sorry, but a license from Uranus is not a joke here! 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1248 Sir; you're charged with DUI. Driving Under the Ionisphere. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1249 I suppose this is some sort of spatial profiling. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1250 Nope. Still Trump. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1251 Your name, address, and airport, sir. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1252 I come in peace. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1253 Do you know you were going 600 in a 35mph zone? 1.2800 0.06044 100 80 12 8
1254 Your left rocket booster light is out. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1255 Sir, road rage is no excuse to go ballistic. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1256 I'm hoping you didn't really intend to eject your passenger just then. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1257 Well sir, it seems you were going so fast that the space/time continuum indicates I owe you money. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1258 Your trunk's on fire. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1259 Do I smell Romulan Ale? 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1260 You were going six hundred thirty-seven over. 1.2800 0.06044 100 80 12 8
1261 You've got to get to a hospital on which planet? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1262 Wake up. None of this real. You are still a loser driving a beat-up Pinto. 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1263 You have a broken taillight. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1264 How many light-years per gallon does this thing get? 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1265 You realize you were supersonic in a subsonic zone? 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1266 Do you know you were doing 1,200 in a 55 mph zone? 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1267 You were going 550 in a 40 zone. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1268 Don't' you know this is a fly-over state? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1269 Sorry sir, it is against the law to text and drive. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1270 What's the hurry? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1271 You were going 50,000 in a 35 zone. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1272 What's the big hurry, Trump doesn't take office until next month. 1.2800 0.06044 100 80 12 8
1273 So, you thought rear-view mirrors were an unnecessary feature. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1274 Klaatu? What kinda name's that? You a alien, boy? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1275 Your right booster light's burnt-out. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1276 Actually, Yes, you were speeding. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1277 I clocked you at 635 in a 35. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1278 Glad you ran out of fuel - this ticket should pay for the police holiday ball. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1279 Sir, are you aware that your taillight is broken? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1280 Sully didn't get a citation... 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1281 What kind of mileage do you get with this thing? 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1282 Your re-entry light is out. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1283 But officer, I was just going the speed of sound. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1284 Yeah, and I'm Spider-Man. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1285 Well, I'm going to have to cite you for running the stop sign, but I'll let the incineration of the village slide. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1286 Forget how fast I was going. How fast were you going in order to catch me? 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1287 So you're gonna wanna take a right in a few miles, stay on I-80 West for a while, and that should get you to the Bonneville Flats 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1288 License, registration and relative velocity. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1289 I'm going to need your driver's license and the whole story. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1290 You were doing Mach 2 in a 45 mile per hour zone. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1291 Your turn signals appear to be on fire. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1292 You went through a red light back in Albuquerque. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1293 I'm sorry, but there is no way I was going above the speed of light. 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1294 You know you were doing Mach 2 in a Mach 1 zone? 1.2800 0.04731 100 73 26 1
1295 Are you aware that one of your afterburners is out? 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1296 Nice to see you again Mr. Musk. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1297 You misunderstand the concept of escape velocity. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1298 52 in a 45. A little disappointing. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1299 Buddy, in Mayberry nobody achieves escape velocity! 1.2800 0.06369 100 82 8 10
1300 It only looks like a squad car... 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1301 Is my brake light out? 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1302 Honestly Officer, I would never text and drive. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1303 You never signaled three light years back... 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1304 It's my turn to bring you up to speed. 1.2800 0.06044 100 80 12 8
1305 The radar gun clocked you at Mach 3 in a Mach 2 zone. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1306 And what planet did you think you were on 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1307 I could have sworn it said speed of sound, sir 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
1308 Officer, can you point me in the direction of the Saturn dealer? 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1309 I've got you for a broken taillight, harmful emissions, and shattering the land-speed record. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1310 Oh yeah? Well, this isn't space. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1311 I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I never would've caught you. 1.2772 0.06153 101 82 10 9
1312 The name's Bond. James Bond. 1.2772 0.06153 101 82 10 9
1313 You passed the entrance to the salt flats 10 minutes ago, about 150 miles back. 1.2772 0.06312 101 83 8 10
1314 Improper tail lights, sir. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1315 I clocked you at over 186,282 miles per second, sir. You realize there's a law against going that fast? 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1316 That's one small trek for Rocket Man, one giant reap for the State Treasury. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1317 Yeah, slight problem. You were doing 17,600 in a 35. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1318 In this town exceeding the speed of light is still regarded as breaking one of the cardinal laws of physics. 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1319 Your inspection sticker is a year out of date. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1320 Sir, you were going Mach 3 in a school zone. 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
1321 I'm sorry officer but I am late for my emissions test. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1322 I'm also going to have to cite you for failure to wear a seatbelt. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1323 There seems to be a problem with your brake lights... 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1324 Really, Officer? That's my fastest time! 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1325 What part of 'Sonic boom-free zone' don't you understand? 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1326 You realize you were going Warp 5 in a Warp 4 zone, doncha? 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1327 Good afternoon, do you know why I stopped you today? 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1328 I swear, Officer, the tail light was working when I left the house. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1329 I think we both know why I pulled you over. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1330 One of your afterburners is out. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1331 In addition to the ticket, you'll be charged for breaking the radar gun. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1332 Because...Well...You just can't. 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
1333 You have a broken taillight. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1334 I understand that you want to leave the country before Trump is in office, but sir this is a school zone. 1.2727 0.06061 99 80 11 8
1335 Cool your jets a minute. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1336 Okay buddy, I understand, but he doesn't take office until late January! 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
1337 License, registration and proposed trajectory. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1338 Sir, are you aware that your right rear taillight is broken? 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1339 And will NASA be coming to give you a tow? 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1340 Sir, you were doing Mach 5 in a 25 MPH. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1341 Sorry Sir, but this is flyover country. 1.2727 0.06061 99 80 11 8
1342 Sir, I'm going to need you to step out of the penis. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1343 Sir, I'm gonna need you to step out of the practical joke. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1344 I need to warn you that traveling at the speed of light makes your tail lights invisible. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1345 That won't fly around here. 1.2727 0.06061 99 80 11 8
1346 Sorry ol' man, front plates are mandatory in this state. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1347 Kid, you need to cool your jets. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1348 You were going so fast my father and grandfather gave you citations. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1349 I'm writing you up for a melted tail light. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1350 Uber or Lyft? 1.2727 0.06061 99 80 11 8
1351 I don't care if you are from Alpha Centauri. I need to see your driver's license. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1352 I said, "license and registration" bud, it's not rocket science! 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1353 Keep on moving to the next galaxy, you don't want any part of what's happening on this planet. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1354 The space race ended in 1975, buddy. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1355 All right, buddy. You got problems. First, no rearview mirror. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1356 Just a warning, but cool your jets from now on. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1357 Trouble taking off, Sir? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1358 You were going .5c in a .000000089c zone 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1359 What's your hurry getting to Canada, son? 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1360 You were warping in a non-warp zone!! 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1361 I started to pursue you 20 light years back. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1362 I'm writing a thank you note for letting me pull you over. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1363 Your tail light is out. 1.2680 0.06133 97 79 10 8
1364 Your left turn signal light is fried. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1365 You broke my radar gun. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1366 Speeding? I'm still in first gear! 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1367 They're cooled, officer. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1368 I bet you can’t guess why I pulled you over. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1369 It's 500 points on your license in this state for breaking the sound barrier. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1370 When did you realize you lost the Airstream? 1.2680 0.04973 97 73 22 2
1371 Yes, sir, I could see you were having a blast. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1372 I left my registration in the future. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1373 Sir, I don't care if you are having a mid-life crisis..... 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1374 So you're from outer space and you want to meet our President... Well have I got a surprise for you! 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1375 In my defense, it's hard to read speed limit signs when I'm going that fast. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1376 While I agree your wife was getting unduly lippy with me, it was still wrong to eject her. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1377 How long you been waiting for that tow? 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1378 Oh sorry, I thought you were black. 1.2680 0.06306 97 80 8 9
1379 No, I did not "profile" you. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1380 Does this look like the Utah Salt Flats to you? 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1381 I know, I'm on my way to get the side mirrors. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1382 ...and this license says 'expires 2125'...You funnin' me, son? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1383 Son, do you know how fast you were going, because I need to write something down for your speed? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1384 Sir, are you aware that your tail light is out? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1385 If I can catch you, if I was you, I'd go back to the drawing board. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1386 Maybe your state allows passing over the top but here it's only on the left. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1387 The good news is that you're now .001 nanoseconds younger than your exact twin... 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1388 No, you're not being spatially profiled. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1389 So you were keeping up with the flow of traffic? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1390 Officer, the EZ-Pass is in my wife's car! 1.2680 0.06133 97 79 10 8
1391 You were texting while driving 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1392 I get the feeling you're maching me. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1393 I don't mean to be difficult officer, but how can you be certain it was me? 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1394 Also, your left tail light is out. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1395 Sir, I'm running an investigation on robberies in the area, have you seen anything at all out of the ordinary tonight? 1.2680 0.06133 97 79 10 8
1396 You've made a Mach-ery of our speed limit! 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1397 The M stands for Miles, not Mach. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1398 Okay then, here’s your concept vehicle/prototype ticket. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1399 We're actually stopping every jet travelling down this highway. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1400 I really don't care if the fire is in Alpha Centauri. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1401 Was I weaving or something, Officer? 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1402 Seems like we're doing this ever Sunday now, Tom. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1403 We have a problem. What part of no texting while driving don't you understand? 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1404 Is everything correct here, sir? Are you still living far, far away? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1405 It's $100 for speeding and $100 for singeing my eyebrows. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1406 You were going the speed of sound in a 55. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1407 Give me a break, the Star Trek convention stats in two minutes. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1408 Sir, I pulled you over because your left tail light is broken. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1409 If you don't know how fast I was going I'm not going to tell you. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1410 You failed to signal when you turned into the troposphere. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1411 Do you know you have a busted taillight? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1412 Seriously, a Gary Johnson bumper sticker? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1413 Do you want to know in Machs? 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1414 I noticed your tail light was out. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1415 Is it the tail light again Officer? 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1416 'Sorry sir, I thought you were Black." 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1417 Down here I'm the sheriff. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1418 No, sir, it's "Highway 210". That's not the speed limit. 1.2680 0.04973 97 73 22 2
1419 Mr. Musk... we've talked about this. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1420 The tarmac ended three miles ago, sir. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1421 I just really need to get to Houston, asap. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1422 Mind if I take a look at your emissions certificate? 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1423 Nah, I just pulled you over for a broken tail light, but I do have to fine you for playing Barry Manilow on an 8-track tape player. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1424 Sir, are you aware that you were going 120 years ahead of the technology limit? 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1425 This is going to cost you more than a buck, Mr. Rogers. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1426 It's illegal to break the space-time continuum in this county. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1427 I understand you are rushing towards Canada but you still have to maintain speed limits. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1428 No, I just wanted you to know that your left brake light is not working. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1429 You have the right to remain arrogant. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1430 Broken tail light. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1431 You realize your tail light is out? 1.2680 0.06133 97 79 10 8
1432 Do you know how slowly time was moving? 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1433 I stopped you for over compensating. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1434 Where's the supernova? 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1435 Are you aware that your license plate doesn't exist yet? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1436 Sir, do you know your tags expired several light years ago? 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1437 It's for a global warming infraction. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1438 Do you know how fast you were going? I'm serious. 'Cause I have no clue. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1439 Any idea how fast you were going back there? Actually, I'd like to know. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1440 Do you know why, and how, I pulled you over? 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1441 You know your right tail light's out? 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1442 Trade ya. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1443 You need actual exhaust pipes. 1.2680 0.06306 97 80 8 9
1444 Yep, you smoked the Weinermobile, but... 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1445 I don't know, Officer. I came out of nowhere. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1446 One of your tail lights isn't working. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1447 Great Salt Flats? Take the next left... 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1448 Well, if we're getting technical, you violated a traffic theory. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1449 Aw, hell's bells Mr. Musk. How many times are we gonna have to do this? 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1450 Officer, I couldnt hear the siren! 1.2680 0.04973 97 73 22 2
1451 Any idea?..any?.....a wild guess then. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1452 Your orbit's a little low. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1453 I've never heard of the Mach America Great Again Tour, sir 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1454 No, YOU call NASA, while I run your rocket scientist license. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1455 Did you know you have a right tail light out? 1.2680 0.06133 97 79 10 8
1456 Officer, I'll gladly take the ticket if you can explain how you caught me. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1457 You can't pull a fast one on me, pal. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1458 You've got a broken rear gimbal stabilizer. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1459 Officer, I'm just trying to get to Canada before they build the wall. 1.2680 0.06133 97 79 10 8
1460 Did you know your afterburner is out? 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1461 I'm going to have to fine you for obvious over compensation. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1462 Sounds like you have a hole in your muffler. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1463 I'm not disputing you hit an asteroid, but your tail light is out. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1464 Son, I'm affraid delivering a pizza under 30 minutes is not the law. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1465 In two minutes you'll be across the state line, do YOU have any idea what the emission fines are in California? 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1466 Exactly what sort of name is "Elon"? 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1467 You were doing Mach 3 in a Mach 1 zone. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1468 You don't want to know how fast I was going. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1469 Sorry, son, this here's a fly-over state. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1470 Do you realize you were doing Mach 3 in a 45 mile per hour zone? 1.2653 0.05901 98 79 12 7
1471 Save that relativity nonsense for the judge. Do you know how fast you were going in THIS reference frame? 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1472 Where's your front license plate? 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1473 Officer, you must understand I'm trying to move to Canada by the fastest means possible. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1474 Try the speed of sound, wise guy. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1475 Well, your registration says this is a 2013 VW Jetta, but I'm going to assume that's just a DMV screw-up. 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
1476 Did you not see the "Rockets Must Exit" sign? 1.2626 0.05847 99 80 12 7
1477 "Breaking the sound barrier" isn't on here as an option under posted speed. I'm gonna have to let you go on a technicality. 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1478 . . .and you, sir, are no Elon Musk. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1479 I'm sorry sir. You can't park here. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1480 I hope it was a blast. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1481 It's refreshing to see dual exhaust on a hybrid. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1482 I'm sorry Officer, was I speeding? 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1483 Yes it is an impressive phallic symbol, Mr Weiner, but texting while driving is still a ticketable offence. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1484 Breaking the sound limit gets you a ticket in these parts. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1485 I'm citing you for a dangerous hood ornament. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1486 So just how small is it? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1487 It wasn't your speed, I saw you texting. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1488 I clocked you doing Mach 7 in a Mach 5 zone. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1489 We've been over this, Mrs. Musk. You still need to wear a seatbelt. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1490 Your tail light is broken - got any idea how dangerous that is? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1491 No, sir, I don't consider the relative time dilation as you approach the speed of light to be a mitigating factor. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1492 Mach 1 in a school zone and you didn't use your right turn signal. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1493 Sorry officer. I didn't realize I had entered a no-fly zone. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1494 Nice try, this is Bonneville Louisiana. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1495 I'm letting you off with a warning this time, but get that muffler fixed pronto. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1496 Your tail lights are burnt out 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1497 Buddy, it's the carbon footprint that troubles me most. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1498 Next time signal when you change lanes 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1499 You know, the speed limit is 55 miles per *hour*. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1500 I stopped you because your tail lights have incinerated a few cars. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1501 Sir, you were traveling at 1,345,698 mph in a 60 zone. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1502 You had a rear thruster out. 1.2604 0.04740 96 72 23 1
1503 I don't care what they let you get away with in California, Mr. Musk. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1504 That's very interesting about the Klingons, sir, but I still need to see your license and registration. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1505 You broke the sound barrier, along with a bunch of laws. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1506 Do you know why I pulled you over, Sir? 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1507 I want to make sure your license says "organ donor" 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1508 License and destination, please. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1509 You weren't on a cell-phone, were you? 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1510 Don't tell me you didn't know I was behind you, I turned on my lights and siren over two-and-a-half states ago. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1511 Ok buddy, so where's the Supernova? 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1512 Faster than a speeding bullet is still speeding. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1513 License and country of origin 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1514 That'll be $100 for speeding and $200 for way overcompensating. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1515 Next time, get lost in space, not on earth. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1516 how did you catch me ? 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1517 It's not rocket science sir, your right tail light is out. 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1518 The sign definitely does not say 555! 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1519 Ayup, I remember *my* first twin paradox solution, just like it was tomorrow. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1520 Did you know your left tail light is out? 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1521 Are you aware of the speed of sound in these parts? 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1522 I'm pulling you over since you just violated Einstein's "Theory of Special Relativity." 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1523 Should I cite you for over the speed limit or under the radar? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1524 We've had some reports of cows gittin singed. You know anythin about that? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1525 I'm going to let you off with a warning, but let's try to keep it under 600. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1526 Sir, are you aware that you were going Mach 5 in a 30mph zone? 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1527 License and advanced degree in aeronautical engineering, please. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1528 Yeah, a lot of folks don't know that the new troopers can reach mach 1 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1529 I'm going to let you blast off with a warning this time. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1530 When you see the ticket I'm writing, you might want to park this in the Smithsonian 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1531 Where' your seat belt? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1532 35? Are you sure? I could have sworn it said 350.... 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1533 Sir, your tail light is out-of-this-world. 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1534 Sir, do you know what happens if you break the speed of sound? 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1535 Just wanted to warn you there's a slight turn six miles from here. 1.2604 0.04740 96 72 23 1
1536 I'm going to let you off with a warning this time, but don't let me catch you going over Mach 2 again. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1537 Just wanted to tell you that your taillights are on fire. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1538 We have a problem? 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1539 Having trouble getting airborne, sir? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1540 Your rear tail light was smoking. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1541 Are you aware, sir, of the law that says you can't travel faster than the speed of light? 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1542 I know I was speeding. I don't know how you caught up. 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1543 I'll let you go with a warning but next time signal when you change altitude. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1544 Did you know you were going 800 miles per hour? 1.2604 0.06150 96 79 9 8
1545 Sir, did you know your left brake light is out? 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1546 I said step out of the fucking rocket. 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1547 You broke my radar gun. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1548 You realize that you just coasted through that red state? 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1549 I'm sorry officer. My speedometer only measures to the nearest 100 mph. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1550 No, I stopped you for driving without a parachute. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1551 I won't give you a ticket if you give me a ride. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1552 Its not so bad at $10 for every mph over 60; about $99,400 should cover it. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1553 You failed to signal turning out of the salt flats. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1554 One of your brake lights isn't working. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1555 Uh huh, you didn't pull over because my lights looked green to you? Well that answers how fast you were going! 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1556 do not restart your engines until a I have time to pull around you 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1557 Well, officer, maybe you can suggest where the front license plate can go. 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1558 Sir, 299,792,458 m/s is not only the speed limit, it's the law. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1559 Well, buddy, as I think about it, flying at Mach 1 IS a good reason for not hearing my siren! 1.2577 0.04922 97 74 21 2
1560 I don't care how inventive it is -- I'm citing you for a loud muffler. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1561 Your left rear intergalactic sensor probe light is out. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1562 I'm giving you a warning, but only because you've got such a boss ride! 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1563 You do realize he's not the actual President until January. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1564 I couldn't help but notice that you left your blinker on after you broke the sound barrier... 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1565 Did you know your tail lights are on fire? 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1566 Canada's the other way. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1567 Do you know your tail lights are out? 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1568 Next time, go a little easier on the liquid hydrogen pedal. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1569 You were driving under the influence of your Inner Child. 1.2577 0.04922 97 74 21 2
1570 You were going 2,550 in a 2,500 MPH zone. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1571 You were only going 700 miles per hour, so the it-was-impossible-to-hear-the-siren excuse won't work. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1572 I don't know what the fine is for travelling at 8 times the speed limit, but yes, I'm pretty sure there will be points. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
1573 Do you know you went through the speed of light? 1.2577 0.06266 97 81 7 9
1574 Sir, there's still some time left before Jan. 20. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1575 "Did you know you were going Mach 2 in a Mach 1 zone 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1576 Could you please step out of the cockpit? 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1577 Didn't you see the 'No Sonic Booms' sign? 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1578 I pulled you over because you should really wait until the recount is over. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
1579 Did you know you had a tail light out? 1.2577 0.06092 97 80 9 8
1580 I got you going mach 4 in a 35, plus you got a tail light out. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1581 Your tags have expired. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1582 "Speed of sound" is still over the speed limit, sir. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1583 Thanks for not taking off. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1584 May I please see your pilot's license? 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1585 Your left tail light is out. 1.2577 0.06092 97 80 9 8
1586 Wile E. Coyote called - he wants his car back. 1.2551 0.05676 98 79 13 6
1587 I pulled you over because I thought you were black, but never mind. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1588 Officer, before you say anything, I have been planning to fix that broken tail light. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1589 You were doing the speed of light in a 40 mph zone. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1590 I clocked you going Mach 4 in a Mach 2 speed zone. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1591 But when you determined my position you couldn't have possibly clocked my momentum 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1592 Your path to glory is at odds with the road to Grandmother’s house. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1593 I hate jet setters. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1594 I'm gonna let you blast off with a warning. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1595 I can't drive 55... 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1596 You have a taillight out. 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1597 I'm heading to Canada. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1598 It's not rocket science to know not to pass a police car in a no passing zone. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1599 Look, we all want to get out of this country as fast as possible. But you were going 17,000 miles per hour in a school zone. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1600 It has tail lights? 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1601 That's miles per hour, not mach. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1602 I really shouldn't have been able to catch you. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1603 I'll make it a warning this time but no more sonic booms. 1.2526 0.04725 95 72 22 1
1604 Save the excuses. Nobody Machs me. 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1605 You forgot to signal. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1606 And --- lastly --- one of your tail lights is out. 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1607 No, officer, I don't know why you stopped me from fleeing this planet, but can you blame me? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1608 Confusing or not, the sign was for Highway 186, not the speed limit. 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
1609 Are you aware both your tail lights are out? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1610 You may be anxious to get there, but they'll tell you the same thing in Canada. 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
1611 Would you believe my wife is in the hospital? 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1612 No, sir, there are no illegal aliens in here. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1613 You have until January 20th to reach Canada buddy, you don't have to travel at the speed of sound. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1614 Lets see your pilots license. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1615 how did you catch me ? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1616 I’m going to give you a warning, but if you don’t get that afterburner fixed the next time it will be a ticket. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1617 You don't need brake lights if you don't have brakes. 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
1618 Who knew! Uber pick-ups now go to Mars? 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1619 I don't care if you started in Utah, this vehicle isn't street legal in Kansas. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1620 No, Officer, I have no idea why you pulled me over. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1621 Is that all you got? 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1622 You broke the sound barrier and now you will have to pay to get it fixed. 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1623 But, Officer, I did have my lights on. I was going the speed of light so they don't work at that speed. 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1624 I'm taking your license, and I think it's gonna be a long, long time. 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1625 I’m willing to go with a warning on the vaporized taillights, but save the breaking the sound barrier excuse for the judge. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1626 I have a lady who says you rear ended her and drove her to Pittsburgh. 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1627 OK mister, let's see your pilots license 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1628 Do I know how fast I was driving, Officer? Do you know how fast you had to go to catch me? 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
1629 I'm still going to need to see your license, Mr. Musk. 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1630 No, I don't know how fast you were going. Wait. That's my question, not yours. 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1631 I'm sorry. Rocket science is prohibited in a school zone. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1632 NASA cut the budget again, Bob? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1633 Why aren't you wearing your seat belt? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1634 You can slow down now. You crossed into Canada fifty miles back. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1635 Spatial profiling? 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1636 Did you know that one of your tail lights is busted? 1.2526 0.04725 95 72 22 1
1637 You do realize you were doing Mach 1 in a 35? 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1638 450 in a 25 mph zone? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1639 You broke the sound barrier in a 50 mph zone. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1640 You failed to use your turn signal... Two hundred miles ago in Albuquerque. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1641 Sir, I have you going 700 in a 35. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1642 You're under arrest for the theft of one side of Madonna's undergarment. 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1643 NORAD called. They're not happy. 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1644 What stop sign? 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1645 Registration, proof of insurance and pilot's license, please. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1646 Did you really say "you're no rocket scientist?" 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1647 Your tail light isn't working. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1648 I'll give you a warning this time, but try to keep it under Mach 1. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1649 You could be in a heap of trouble ... speeding, no license, and melting a stretch of a public road. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1650 It's because I'm an astronaut, isn't it? 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1651 Speed limit hereabouts is Mach 2, sonny. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1652 Sir, do you realize you failed to make a complete stop at the stratosphere? 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1653 You rolled through that stop sign. 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1654 What's seems to be the problem officer... 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1655 No, making America great again is not a good excuse. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1656 Your right afterburner is out. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1657 You might be able to get away with this sort of thing in your galaxy, but not here buddy. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1658 Not gonna ask you where the fire is. 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
1659 Your sticker's expired. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1660 So you're saying that you are not the man they think you are at home, oh no no no? 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
1661 Ain't got no illegal aliens in there, do ya? 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1662 And I think it's gonna be a long, long time.Till touch down brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home. Oh, no, no, no, I'm a rocket man. Hello how are you today officer? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1663 Okay, deal. No ticket if you drive my kid and his date to the prom in that thing. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1664 Built for speed? You don't say. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1665 That was the most fun I've had in my entire life. License and registration, please? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1666 I'll bet you're wondering what's under my hood. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1667 Hello officer I'm from Houston. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1668 I Caught You Doing Warp Speed in a 55. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1669 This is a No Breaking Sound Barrier zone. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1670 Not signalling, running a red light, and now I see you're not even wearing your seat belt. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1671 How much is the fine for breaking the sound barrier? 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1672 I'm with NASA, we don't do license plates. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1673 Seat belt! Seat belt! Seat belt! 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
1674 Didn't you see that red planet back there? 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1675 You blasted right through that stop sign. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1676 Bring me back a few cases of Mars Bars and we'll call it even. 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
1677 You didn’t know you were flying? What kind of rocket scientist are you? 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1678 Jetson, George Jetson. 1.2500 0.05923 96 79 10 7
1679 Sir, have you taken this in for emissions testing? 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1680 I don't care who was elected president, you are still getting a ticket. 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
1681 Keep your lizard claws where I can see them at all times! 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1682 Unsure of our manhood much, are we? 1.2500 0.05923 96 79 10 7
1683 Can I have a turn? 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
1684 You were doing 5000 in a 45 mile zone. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1685 Problem officer? 1.2474 0.05868 97 80 10 7
1686 Were you aware that one of your of your taillights is out, sir? 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1687 Because I am in a good mood, I will only give you a warning for going 8,000 in a 40 mph zone, but stop with the excuse that you could not hear my sirens because you were exceeding the speed of sound 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1688 I don't think you realize how dangerous it is to drive around with a broken tail light. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1689 Did you know you were breaking the sound barrier in a quiet zone back there? 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1690 Did you realize you were going 10 miles past the sound barrier? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1691 Do you know your inspection sticker expired last month? 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1692 How many tickets did you say you wanted for the Police Ball ? 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1693 Was I speeding officer ? 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1694 Did you know you were doing 1100mph in an 80mph zone? 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
1695 You were going to 700 in a 35 zone, but since you contributed to the Police League Christmas Fund, this is just a warning. 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1696 Sir, there are other ways to get to Canada. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1697 Did you know your right blinker is out? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1698 Did you know your right taillight is out? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1699 I was drafting, that's how. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1700 My other car is a lunar rover. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1701 Well, the radar shows 999. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1702 Your brake light is out. 1.2473 0.06049 93 77 9 7
1703 Are you aware that your pilot light is out? 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
1704 Could you cut me a break and write it up for 950 over? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1705 I suppose you know, you were flying. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1706 License and launch authorization, please. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1707 Give me a ride in this baby, and I'll tear up the ticket. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1708 Sorry, Pal. It's click it or ticket. 1.2473 0.06049 93 77 9 7
1709 I had you at Mach 2 on the gun. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1710 No, this is Bonneyville, Indiana, so keep it under the speed of sound, OK? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1711 I don't care if you're an astronaut. License please. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1712 Can you blame me for speeding? Gotta get out of here before Jan. 20! 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1713 Do you know your back tail light is off? 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1714 650mph in a 35mph zone is what's wrong, sir. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1715 Rocket Man? Just the lyrics require a hefty fine , sir. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1716 You were clocked at Mach 4 in a Mach 3 Zone. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1717 Flying a little low, weren't you? 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1718 No. I pulled you over because your taillight is out. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1719 You were doing Mach 3 in a Mach 1 county, son. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1720 Officer, I swear I'm not high anymore. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1721 You have the right to remain... totally awesome. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1722 Stop me if you've heard this one before. 1.2473 0.06049 93 77 9 7
1723 Ok rocket man, you've got a ticket to ride, and I don'the care. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1724 Did you know that one of your tail lights is out? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1725 You were doing 25,000 miles per hour in a 40 m.p.h. zone. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1726 Cape Canaveral was two exits ago. 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
1727 I was going faster than the speed of what??? 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1728 Elton John? Funny. Here's your ticket, Rocket Man. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1729 I have to write you up. You were doing Mach 2 in a Mach 1 zone. 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1730 I clocked you going Warp 9 in a Warp 6 zone. 1.2473 0.06240 93 78 7 8
1731 I'm just going to give you a warning this time, but make sure you get that tail light fixed. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1732 Hey Bud, you really need to cool your jets. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1733 Sure, you're on an important intergalactic mission to save the universe... I've heard 'em all buddy. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1734 When was your last emissions test? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1735 And it looks like it's registered as a Rose Bowl float. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1736 Officer, what do you have in that thing ?? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1737 Sir, the Air Force denies you and your vehicle were scrambled for any reason. 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1738 You really ought to get your emissions under control sir. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1739 Your left thruster light is out. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1740 Do you have any idea how I caught you? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1741 You missed the land speed record, but your lifetime speeding tickets total qualifies for Guinness. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1742 Did you know one of your taillights is out? 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1743 We don't have a ticket for suprasonic speeds. So I'll have to give you a warning. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1744 Honestly, Officer, I had no idea I was going that fast. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1745 Well, Jack, have you done anything interesting since high school? 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1746 I pulled you over because one of your afterburners was out. 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1747 Sir, are you aware your left tail light is out? 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1748 Yes, I know *why* you pulled me, but I don't know how. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1749 So what it it this time, Mr. Musk? 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1750 I am giving you a ticket because your left tail light is out. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1751 Your blood-Tang level is double the legal limit. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1752 You need at least 2 passengers to drive in the HOV lane, sir... 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1753 I'll put you down for the broken taillight, and we'll ignore the Mach 2 in the 55. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1754 What's your hurry? 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1755 Did I do something wrong, Officer? 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1756 Apologies, sir. I didn't realize you were a white male. Have a great day! 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1757 May I have your autograph? 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1758 You can't park there. 1.2447 0.05991 94 78 9 7
1759 So, this is just a loaner--your 747 is in the shop? 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
1760 License and registration and please don't give me the usual 'I'm from another planet' excuse! 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1761 Officer: "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" Pilot: "What year is it?" 1.2447 0.05991 94 78 9 7
1762 I don't care what the speed limit is in OUTERspace, Mr. Armstrong. You're in MY space now, mister! 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
1763 No rearview mirror! 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1764 You can wipe the smug look, I caught you with a Kia. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1765 You need to fix that muffler right away. 1.2447 0.05991 94 78 9 7
1766 Texting while driving is dangerous, son. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1767 Yes, 'failure to signal' includes coming out of hyper-space. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1768 Does this look like the Hudson River to you? 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
1769 No sir. You are in Salt Lake not Salt Flats. You missed the turn 100 miles back. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1770 In this county, we use turn signals. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1771 You know you have a burned out afterburner? 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1772 'Need you to check that muffler.' 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
1773 You could've mentioned the afterburn before officer Kowalski checked your tail lights. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1774 No, you can't exceed the speed of sound on a two lane highway. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1775 Mind if I take her for a spin? 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1776 Yes, I get it. 764 mph, nice world land speed record, but you didn't signal that lane change back there. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1777 Cool your jets, this might take awhile. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
1778 Hey kid, I don't care if your dad is head of NASA, I still need to see your driver's license. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
1779 "Your speed was fine, it's the emissions.' 1.2447 0.04707 94 72 21 1
1780 I usually ask "where's the fire," but I see you brought it with you. 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1781 Do you know your license plate has burned off ? 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1782 Your slipstream collapsed the billboard I was hiding behind. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1783 No, Officer, I have no idea why you pulled me over. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1784 You were speeding in a no-fly zone. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1785 please don't tell my father 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1786 This is America. It's 2017. Donald Trump is president. 1.2391 0.06253 92 78 6 8
1787 Who do you think you are, John Glenn? 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1788 I don't care if your Tesla is in the shop, this vehicle is not street legal Mr. Musk. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1789 Well, you're not on Mars now, rocket boy, tell it to the judge. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1790 Why? Because I clocked you at 2,500 MPH in a school zone. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1791 Sir, have you been smoking marijuana today? The launch was cancelled six hours ago. 1.2391 0.06253 92 78 6 8
1792 No problem at all. Just checking to see if you're from these parts. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1793 You're gonna wanna get that taillight fixed. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1794 Excuse me officer, but this loaner is all NASA would give me 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1795 Your lunar module light's out. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1796 Could we hurry this along? I'm on my launch hour. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1797 Did you know you took that turn at Mach .028 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1798 Officer, I really am Neil Armstrong. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1799 You were going the speed of sound in a 55. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1800 Houston, we have a moving violation. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1801 Your license and registration, Mr. Leno. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1802 Do you have any idea how high you were going? 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1803 Your left tail light is on fire. 1.2391 0.06059 92 77 8 7
1804 Could I see your registration and pilot's license, please? 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1805 Where do you think you're going so fast, the moon? 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1806 Ever heard of a runway? 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1807 Nope, nobody's ever told me I have beautiful eyes. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1808 500 in a 50. And yes, that is a moving violation. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1809 You weren't speeding, I just needed a story for the precinct. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1810 You're in violation of Vehicle Code 34301.1(e): Igniting Afterburners in a School Zone 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1811 Have you been high today? 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1812 You were doing Mach 4 in a 55 zone. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1813 I'm sorry to inform you that your license plate has melted. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1814 No sir, I do not know if a citation is valid proof for a world record. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1815 Sir, you were doing 1,550 in a 55. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1816 Speeding? Office, I didn't hear your siren as I was going faster than the speed of sound! 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1817 I had you doing 15,620 in a 65. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1818 Ground control to Major Tom. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1819 Aren't you a little off the beaten flight path? 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1820 Son, it looks like you need directions. I'd suggest "vertical" rather than "horizontal". 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1821 Did you know that you were driving without a right turbothruster? 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1822 Are you machin' me boy? 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1823 Sorry, but I have to give you a warning for not wearing a seatbelt. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1824 A vehicle matching this description has been reported smuggling aliens into the country. Know anything about it? 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1825 That's some fast patrol car you've got there officer. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1826 Before I give you a ticket, does this thing have a cup-holder? 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1827 Here's your ticket. Mind my asking what kind of mileage she gets? 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1828 Seriously... How small is it? 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1829 Then I guess we both set a land-speed record. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1830 The next fuel station? About 10 parsecs yonder. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1831 I'm making America HUGE again. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1832 I'd offer you a donut but all of mine are freeze-dried. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1833 Even if Mach 1 is your lowest speed, you can't do it in a school zone Mr. Musk. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1834 You may be wondering why I pulled you over. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1835 You have 24 hours to get that tail light fixed. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1836 You were going 806 in a school zone. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1837 What's the officer, problem? 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1838 I don't care if your name is George Jetson.License and registration please! 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1839 Do you know why I asked you to commence re-entry procedures? 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1840 When you broke the sound barrier, ten cows keeled over. Plus, the brake light is out on your left Turbo Blaster. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1841 I'm gonna give you a warning this time, but you gotta get your "Lift-off" switch fixed. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1842 Actually you just have a taillight out. 1.2391 0.04731 92 71 20 1
1843 Do you know why I pulled you over, Mr. Branson? 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1844 Do you know how fast you were compensating, sir? 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1845 I flagged you 200 miles back... 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1846 I clocked you at just under escape velocity. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1847 guess you didn't see that City back there 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1848 What do you mean I broke the sound barrier?! I sure as hell didn't hear it. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1849 Yes, I saw the 'Student Driver' bumper sticker... 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1850 Our cruisers have more punch than the public assumes. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1851 You really should re-think this one, Mr. Musk. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1852 I'm sorry but around here we frown upon incinerating tailgaters. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1853 Do you realize you were about mach three over the speed limit? 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1854 No, escape velocity is not within the legal limit. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1855 You were 500 mph over the limit. That'll be ..... $2,000,000 fine. Slow down. Have a nice day. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1856 How many time zones per gallon do you get with this thing? 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1857 Congratulations, sir, you have just won the traffic ticket trifecta. Speeding at 784 mph, 729 miles over the speed limit; breaking the sound barrier in violation of our local noise ordinance; and, of course, no inspection ticket. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1858 I never thought you'd catch me. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1859 You need a new muffler 1.2366 0.04687 93 72 20 1
1860 Honest, I put the breaks on three miles ago. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1861 Today's your lucky day. No way is the judge going to believe my speeding ticket, so I'm citing you for the last 9 stop signs you failed to come to a full stop at. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1862 I clocked you at 10 to the 5th over the speed limit but since this is your first offense, I'm going to write you up for only 5 over. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1863 You failed to come to a complete stop. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1864 Sure, Einstein may say the faster you go the slower you age - but I say here's your ticket and crap to him! 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1865 What's the rush Rocket Man? 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1866 You rolled the stop sign back there. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1867 There's no right on red planet. 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1868 Did you know your recovery parachute light was out? 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1869 What? 1.2366 0.05999 93 78 8 7
1870 That fast, huh? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1871 Do you really think I am going to believe that story? 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1872 My dad's going to kill me 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1873 You need to show me a space ship license, an air plane license, and a driver's license. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1874 Officer, could you make this quick? I am obviously in a hurry. 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1875 VW recalled this model last week for excessive emissions. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1876 I was activating the flex capacitor, not texting. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1877 You know you were breaking the sound barrier back there, don't you? 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1878 Why'd I pull you over? Because you were going Mach 2 in a 35 miles per hour zone, that's why. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1879 I'm not falling for the 'need to escape earth's gravitational field' excuse again 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1880 You failed to come to a complete stop upon reentry into the Earth's atmosphere. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1881 I swear. I wasn't going faster than the speed of sound. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1882 Your midlife crisis sticker is expired. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1883 I was just kidding about your taillight being out. You were speeding. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1884 Ha! You actually think I have a license and registration for this thing? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1885 I'm only giving you a warning because you've been polite and have a reasonable explanation. However, you'll have to make restitution to local ranchers for burning their cows. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1886 Sir, you're too spaced out to be driving. 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1887 I am just going to assume that there is no catalytic converter on this thing right? 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1888 Any idea how fast you were going? 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1889 Call me Captain Kirk one more time and I'll beam you up. 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1890 you know why I stopped you sir? 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1891 Your left rear light is out. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1892 But my friend at NASA promised me it's street legal. 1.2366 0.04687 93 72 20 1
1893 Were you aware, Ma'am, that you were going 350 miles over the speed limit? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1894 No this is 2016 and yes we still issue paper tickets, but you can pay online! 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1895 Driver's liscense, registration and patent number, please. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1896 ...and your seat belt isn't fastened. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1897 Did you know your left turn signal is out? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1898 Do you know you have a rear taillight out? 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1899 Please step out of the jet. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1900 .......Slow enough for you to catch me. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1901 So where's the moon launch? 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1902 Your speeding was one thing; the tailgating was beyond the pale 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1903 But Officer, I wasn't texting. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1904 Where's the supernova? 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1905 I'm going to let you off with a warning for the 25,000 miles per hour in a 55 Zone, but is that a cell phone on your lap? 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1906 Sir,you reentered through two stop signs. 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1907 Nice try McFly! 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1908 In hindsight, I should've stolen a car with a less conspicuous color. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1909 Do you know that your right rear light is out? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1910 No, I don't believe your excuse for being late for the science fair. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1911 This is the third time this week. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1912 The first ticket is for breaking the speed limit and--since this is a quiet zone--the second ticket is for breaking the sound barrier. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1913 Mach 4 in a Mach 2 zone. 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1914 Sir you have a tail light out 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1915 You failed to come to a complete stop at Mars. 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1916 Is this not advertised as Big Sky Country? 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1917 Really, Elon? 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1918 I'm letting the dark tail-light go, but I have to write you up for the broken muffler. 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1919 I clocked you going warp 2 through a school zone back there. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
1920 You've got a tail light out... and I clocked you at Mach 1. 1.2340 0.05745 94 78 10 6
1921 Huston, we have a problem 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1922 This is the last warning you will get Mr. Smith. It is NOT necessary to count backwards from ten after the light turns green. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1923 You broke my radar. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1924 Say, we don't see many of these around these parts. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1925 This is a non-smoking road. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1926 I dont care you're pedaling, it looks way too fast. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1927 Let's see, $250 for every five miles over the speed limit. That'll be a cool ten million. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1928 I clocked you at warp factor six and you want me to give you a warning?. 1.2333 0.04483 90 69 21 0
1929 You know your tail light's out? 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1930 Mr. Musk, please step out of your rocket ship. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1931 You are over compensating 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1932 Oh, it's you Elon. Look, you're still going to have to cool your jets. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1933 Your right tail light is out. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1934 You know your left-turn signal has been on since the salt flats. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1935 you were doing 500 MPH in a 45 MPH. I'll let you off with a warning this time. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1936 I'm going to let you go this time but keep it under 9,500 mph 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1937 We all want to age more slowly. But I am still gonna have to give you a ticket. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1938 This is a no fly zone. Didn't you see the sign? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1939 Can you just give me a warning? My Dad is going to kill me if he finds out I took out his rocket car. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1940 Sir, are you aware your rear left O ring is broken? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1941 Want to guess why I pulled you over? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1942 Elton John? 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1943 The boys at Emissions Testing are going to have fun with you. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1944 Pilot's licence please. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1945 I stopped you because of the burned-out headlights—mine. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1946 Sir, your taillight is out. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1947 You were doing Mach 1.25 in a Mach 1.0 speed zone. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1948 Sorry, officer, it's not really designed to be stepped out of. 1.2333 0.04754 90 70 19 1
1949 Must be pain to parallel park that thing 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1950 You were speeding. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1951 Sir, are you aware that you have a broken tail light? 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1952 What do you mean " my speed was out of this world"?? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1953 Yes, because you were speeding -- but pretty much just jealousy. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1954 How did I catch you? Let's start with the fact that you get one-half mile per gallon in this thing. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1955 Your left turn signal is out. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1956 Well, well, well, fifth loaner from the Saturn Dealer today, without a valid sticker! 1.2333 0.06130 90 76 7 7
1957 I don't care if it's a limited edition. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1958 "Flyover country" is an offensive term, sir. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1959 You didn't stop at that stop sign 186,282 miles back. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1960 No, it was the no right on red that got you. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1961 How did I guess you voted for Trump? 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1962 Canada's not far enough, huh? 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1963 You were in the HOV lane without a passenger. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1964 The reason I stopped you is your back right taillight is out. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1965 I'm exhausted. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1966 It's Route 478, not the speed limit. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1967 I don't care if it only has one seat, you still can't use in the HOV lane. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1968 I don't care if it's the new Tesla, you're still getting a ticket. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1969 Exceeding the speed of light in an Einsteinian Universe... 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1970 Sir, are you aware you sped right through that event horizon? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1971 let me guess,... you have an early launch window and your running late? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1972 88's not fast enough for you anymore, Marty? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1973 About those tail lights..... 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1974 I've been trying to catch you for at least the last stage. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1975 Tell you what. You give me a valid reason for doing over 400 mph in a 55 mph zone and I'll write you a warning instead of a ticket. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1976 Your brake light is out. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1977 Sorry Bud, but don't even thin about callin this spacial profiling! 1.2333 0.06130 90 76 7 7
1978 Sorry Officer, but I was going too fast to read the speed limit signs. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1979 It's one planet to the east. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1980 My wife has gone into labor on Mars. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1981 I don't care that you need to get to Canada right away. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1982 You paid too much if I can overtake you. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1983 Just checking your seatbelt 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1984 Do you realize you have a damaged tail light? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1985 I guess sky is not the limit. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1986 You seem to be confusing your businesses, Mr. Musk. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1987 You're making a Mach-ery of the speed limit, you know. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1988 I haven't given a ticket for a defective muffler in a long time. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1989 I need to see proof that you've done your emissions test. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1990 650 mph in a 55 mph zone, tsk tsk tsk 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1991 5,080 in a 45 mph zone-really?! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1992 You were traveling the speed of sound in a 55-miles-per-hour zone. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1993 You know, I never noticed the signs don't have a unit of measurement. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1994 Your right afterburner is out. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1995 Rocket License and Registration, please. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1996 You were going 40 in a 35. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1997 Twelve. 1.2333 0.06330 90 77 5 8
1998 Both your tail lights are burned out 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1999 Yes, its quite impressive but that's not why I pulled you over 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2000 I'm sorry, officer. The light looked blue to me. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2001 Do you know your brake lights are not working? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2002 Well, Mr. McFly, you are in the future. License and Registration, please. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2003 No, it's electric, sir. The smoke is just for decoration. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2004 Did you realize you were going 356,701,589 miles an hour? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2005 But Officer, what's a stop sign? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2006 No, Mr. Armstrong, it doesn't matter that it's your company car. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2007 Besides your afterburners, where's the fire, buddy? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2008 You were doing the speed of sound in a 55 ... and your tail light's out. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2009 I'd give you a ticket - but I'm feeling inadequate 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2010 That'll be six million, 525 thousand dollars, please. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2011 So, you're telling me speed traps are rigged? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2012 Do you know your tail lights are out? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2013 The fin is so retro. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2014 Land speed record, no. Busted tail light, yes. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2015 Do you know you have faulty exhaust pipes? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2016 Officer, it's self driving! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2017 Don't you realize it's against the law to disconnect, modify or alter a required pollution control device? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2018 Really, officer? I could have sworn I was only doing 32,000mph. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2019 Sir ... are you aware you have a broken tail light? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2020 I guess you didn't see the Mars exit 3 miles back. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2021 I'm sure it's an honest mistake, but the limit's 55, not 550. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2022 You have a broken drag chute light. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2023 You've got a tail light out. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
2024 Elon who? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2025 Just this once, I'm letting you off with a warning. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2026 Your drivers license expires 3 light years ago, Captain Kirk. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2027 Do you have any idea how many barriers you just broke? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2028 You have any clue on why I pulled you over? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2029 You have a busted tail light. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2030 This is a no sonic boom zone. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2031 Did you notice you passed 45 stoplights? 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2032 Sammy, 'I Can't Drive 55' isn't a valid excuse. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2033 Officer, I was just keeping up with traffic! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2034 It's not your taillights. Your afterburners are out. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2035 It's not rocket science. 1.2333 0.04754 90 70 19 1
2036 Did you know you were missing a tail light? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2037 Firing your left afterburner does not constitute signaling a proper lane-change. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2038 Did you know your taillights melted? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2039 You match the description of a vehicle seen driving slowly past houses and looking into peoples' garages. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2040 One of your tail lights is burned out. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2041 I have to tell you, this ticket is going to be "huuuge". 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2042 Sir, do you know when you are? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2043 You were ten miles over the sound barrier. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2044 Can I see your registration and pilot license? 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2045 License and flight insurance, please. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2046 License, registration and penis. 1.2333 0.06130 90 76 7 7
2047 Are you aware that your brake lights are completely burned out? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2048 When you left that last light you melted two Telsas and one Prius, which I personally think is pretty cool. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
2049 Did you know that you were going 485 mph in a 30 mph zone? 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2050 While not brain surgery, using turn signals apparently outstrips rocket science. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2051 Please don't tell my dad, it's his company car. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
2052 No rearview mirror! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2053 Yeah? Well, around here, buddy, we got a little thing we call 'The Speed of Light,' and we take it kind of serious. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2054 Sir, your left tail light is out. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2055 The speed limit is 25 MPH, and you were doing Warp Factor 9. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2056 Did you know your rear thruster light is out? . 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
2057 Were you aware that your tail light is out? 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2058 Are you familiar with the sound barrier laws in this state? 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2059 Do you know how fast you were time traveling? 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2060 What do you mean you only have a learners permit. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2061 I'm going to let you off with a warning. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2062 Well fella, this is a warning ticket...your tail lights are out! 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2063 You were going 1000 miles an hour in a 55 zone, but that's not why I pulled you over. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2064 I appreciate your slowing to 325 in the school zone, but still. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2065 You need to replace your muffler. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
2066 May I see your pilot's license? 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2067 If Elon jumped off a cliff, would you do it too? 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2068 I only stopped you to inquire where I could possibly get one of these myself 1.2308 0.04708 91 71 19 1
2069 I'm going to let you off with a warning this time. Let's try to keep it under the sound barrier, shall we? 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2070 110, you're kidding. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2071 No, I 'm not getting smart with you...there really isn't anything under the hood! 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2072 For the records, do you know how fast you were going? 1.2273 0.05988 88 74 8 6
2073 No, officer, I do not know the fine for going 900 miles per hour over the speed limit. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2074 Tail light's out. 1.2247 0.06138 89 76 6 7
2075 It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that you were speeding. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2076 Honestly officer, I couldn't have been speeding. I had it set to 60 on cruise missile control. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2077 I noticed you weren't wearing your ejection seat helmet there pal! 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2078 I'd guess you have really, really small hands? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2079 Ironically, you were going under the speed limit. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2080 You realize you were going 10 miles over Mach 1 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2081 Don't tell me you didn't realize how fast you were going. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2082 Your tail lights have burned out. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2083 You were doing 200 in a school zone. You better let Houston know you've got a real problem. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2084 Rocketing while intoxicated is taken very seriously here in Jupiter, Florida. 1.2247 0.05926 89 75 8 6
2085 Mr. Musk, do you know why I stopped you? 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2086 Are you aware you were doing 187mph in a 55mph zone? 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2087 Do you realize that your driver side tail light is out? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2088 Did you know you were doing speed-of-sound in a 25? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2089 No seatbelt, we ticket! 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2090 "360 in a 25 mile per hour zone. Are you trying to set a record? Besides, you owe me for the windshield you melted. 1.2247 0.06138 89 76 6 7
2091 Okay, Rocketman, where's the fire; and not the one behind you 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2092 Are you Elton John? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2093 We had a report of a science education being used in the area. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2094 You have burned out tail-lights. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2095 Did you see the 35 mile per hour sign back there? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2096 I'm relatively certain I wasn't speeding. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2097 Is there a problem, officer? The sign said no pedestrians, bicyclists or equestrians. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2098 I need to see your drivers license AND your pilot's license... 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2099 Looks like exhaust to me; where's your inspection sticker? 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2100 Normally I'd say 'Where's the fire?', but it just melted my dashboard. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2101 I heard the divorce went well. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2102 Sir, if you're going to drive under the speed limit you have to stay in the right lane 1.2247 0.06138 89 76 6 7
2103 Well, maybe on your planet but here we call it speeding! 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2104 This ticket is for going past the speed of light. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2105 You realize that you were exceeding the space time continuum theory by 5 miles per hour don't you? 1.2247 0.06138 89 76 6 7
2106 Well, touch down is bringing you around to find a $400 fine and 5 points on your license, Rocket Man... 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2107 I had you at Mach 10 in a Mach 2 zone. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2108 Were you aware that you broke the sound barrier back there? 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2109 The posted speed limit sign is in miles per hour not miles per second. Either way it's melted now. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2110 So how do I explain my melted radar gun to the chief? 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2111 You have any idea how fast you were going? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2112 I don't suppose you know why I pulled you over... 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2113 They told me I could pick any car in the lot. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2114 I'll do you a favor and write you up for only doing 150 in a 35 mph zone 1.2247 0.05926 89 75 8 6
2115 I must not have been going that fast. You caught me. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2116 License and immigration, please. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2117 So, let's go through that again..your tail light broke when you re-entered our atmosphere? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2118 Your back left tail light is out! 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2119 Runs on alfalfa? You don't say! 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2120 Sir, have you been drinking? 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2121 All right, where's the Supernova? 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2122 Any idea how fast you were going? 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2123 My partner says it's a '58, I say 59'. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2124 One of your brake lights is out. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2125 You're missing your front license plate. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2126 Someone reported that you were black. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2127 Do you have any idea how fast I was going? 1.2247 0.05926 89 75 8 6
2128 Did you know your tail lights are burned out? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2129 And, you need a new muffler. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2130 Are you aware that your left blinker is out? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2131 Sorry, Houston, but we have a problem. Please step out of the rocket. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2132 Sir, please step out of the rocket. I smell alcohol so I am going to cite you for a RUI. 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2133 Okay, buddy. Just how much testosterone have we had today? 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2134 What's the problem, officer? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2135 You got a busted left tail light. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2136 Is there some reason you were going 300 miles an hour over the limit? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2137 Officer, it's actually just a fiberglass body over a volkswagen chassis. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2138 But I don't need brake lights, officer. I don't use brakes. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2139 You have a message from NASA ... quote...Mars is closer if you aim at the sky.......unquote 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2140 Sir, do you know how fast you were going? I'm having trouble with the Relativistic calculations. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2141 you'all gotta cool your jets round these parts 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2142 What's in the bottle on the floor? Romulan Ale? 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2143 I clocked you going zoom in a whoosh zone. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2144 2.60776 times 10 to the negative 13th parsecs over the speed limit, to be exact. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2145 Well, Mr. Heisenberg, then do you know exactly where you are? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2146 No, son, not 'attitude.' Altitude. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2147 Your left tail light is out. This is a warning. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2148 Your blinker's been out for the last eighty million miles. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2149 Nice toy you stole, but NASA wants it back. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2150 You were doing warp speed in a Mach 1 zone. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2151 Cool your jets buddy, I just asked a question. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2152 And your left brake light is out. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2153 I can call AAA but I think it's gonna be a long, long time. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2154 It's a fine for speeding without a parachute. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2155 Can I have a ride? 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2156 Can you prove this to be your vehicle sir? We've had a number of thefts in the area... 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2157 I'm writing you up for going 700 mph over the speed limit, disturbing the peace with a sonic boom, and failing to properly display a front license plate. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2158 Sir, tricycles must stay in the bike lane. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2159 You have a broken tail light, sir. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2160 Nope, just a broken tail light. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2161 I'm more of a Billy Joel man. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2162 Really, that fast? 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2163 Well, smarty pants, on Earth, M.P.H. doesn't mean meteors per hour. 1.2235 0.06121 85 72 7 6
2164 You didn't come to a complete stop at the Crab Nebula. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2165 Your wife is about to give birth on Mars--that's a new one. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2166 You passed through your midlife crisis a few warp years back, sir. 1.2222 0.05865 90 76 8 6
2167 "Are you from around here? 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2168 Officer, it actually just has a 1970 AMC Gremlin engine. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2169 Excuse me, sir, were you aware that you were doing light-speed in a 25? 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
2170 Please put your small hands on the steering wheel, sir. 1.2222 0.05865 90 76 8 6
2171 Your tail light destroyed six farms. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2172 Your brake light is out, sir. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2173 I must have left the registration at the Space Station 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2174 But how's the gas mileage? 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2175 ... and this one is for the three passenger cars and the small truck you set ablaze at that intersection. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2176 Boy, you wasn't driving too fast. You was flying too low! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2177 Your left taillight isn't working. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2178 Just out of curiosity, does it burn regular or premium? 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2179 Gas is so cheap these days I thought "why not?" 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2180 You were going Mach 2 in a school zone. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2181 So, Armstrong. It's you again! 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2182 Son, I've been waiting for a speed demon like you for 20 years, now." "Well, Officer, I got here as fast as I could. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2183 I had you at 620 in a 65 zone 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2184 Yeah, well my cruiser had no trouble catching you, Mr. Supersonic 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2185 It's not a speeding violation. It's an offense against good taste. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2186 A thousand points! I thought the maximum for speeding was three? 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2187 Do you have a license to be compensating for something so big. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2188 And your tail lights are burned out. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2189 Yeah, and I go where quite a few have gone before. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2190 I know how you're feeling, but Mars isn't the answer. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2191 If you had deployed your 'chute, you'd still be on the salt flats. License and registration, please. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2192 So, where's the super nova? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2193 "...and where can Jane, Judy or Elroy be reached, sir? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2194 You're left rear tail light is out. 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2195 Your sonic boom has you doing at least 761 mile per hour, but I'll only put you down for 699. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2196 It's because I'm white, right? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2197 I clocked you at "Mach 1"! 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2198 No, you were not "moving with traffic". 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2199 You been getting high sir? 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
2200 Sure, sure, I know, pal -- you didn't see the signs. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2201 Got room for one more? 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2202 License and passport please. 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2203 Your right rear tail light is out. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2204 Because you were driving below the minimum posted speed. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2205 Your sonic booms tells me you were going at least 761 miles per hour, but I'll put you down for 699. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2206 You have a clean record, so I'm just gonna cite you for an obscured license plate. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2207 Sign this, and try to keep it under Mach 1. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2208 Let me guess, Mr. Breedlove, your parachute and brakes failed. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2209 Put your clothes back on and let's talk. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2210 Actually no, your tags are just out of date. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2211 To be honest Mr. Musk, combining your passions probably wasn't the best idea. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2212 Where's the solar flare? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2213 On your way to Canada, you say? 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2214 Nah. Broken tail light. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2215 I understand you blew through a red light in Herzegovina a few minutes ago. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2216 I clocked you at 25 in a 55 MPH zone. 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2217 Wanna trade? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2218 License and NSA registration please. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2219 'I'm not the man I used to be at all, oh no no no' 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2220 I was just trying to get off the ground. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2221 Sir, you were going 17,000 miles per hour in a 50 miles per hour zone. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2222 Seriously officer ? This is Wisconsin? 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2223 Sir, do you know how fast you were compensating? 1.2184 0.06210 87 75 5 7
2224 Broken tail-lamp. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2225 Did you know you were doing 10 miles per hour over the sound barrier. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2226 Your right taillight is busted--and you were doing 621 miles an hour. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2227 Your rocket is fine, the red glare is coming from my cruiser. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2228 Officer, honestly I was live streaming not texting. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2229 No, you can't borrow my radar gun. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2230 Sir, I pulled you over because you failed to lift off. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2231 I pulled you over because you were doing 16.26 kilometers a second in a 55 mile an hour zone. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2232 Your driving's like nothing on earth. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2233 You’re obstructing traffic no matter how hard you’re pedaling. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2234 Traveling from the future to prevent oncoming apocalypse is not a viable excuse for speeding, sir. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2235 I'm sorry, sir, your Krypton driver's licence isn't legal in Minnesota. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2236 Betcha didn't think I'd catch ya. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2237 Elon, this is your fifth ticket this week! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2238 Sorry, time dilation is no excuse for an expired registration. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2239 I clocked you going 30 mph over the sound barrier. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2240 Are you aware it's illegal to have a nipple on display in this state? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2241 Sorry, but tricycles are not permitted on this highway. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2242 Do you know you have a tail light out? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2243 Officer, I would get out, but my pants are wet. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2244 Oops, sorry to stop you. I didn't notice you are white. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2245 No, I'm citing you for failure to display corporate sponsorship. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2246 You're rushing off to Canada following the election? Tell it to the judge. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2247 So, what kinda gas mileage you get in this thing? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2248 So you're telling me you built this for the soap box derby... 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2249 The wife won't let me drive mine. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2250 Sir, have you been drinking? Or have I? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2251 How fast can you get me to the nearest coffee shop? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2252 I'll have to give you a ticket, sir. You were travelling faster than the speed of light. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2253 You do realize that your brake lights aren't working right? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2254 Got you going 22 in a school zone. 1.2184 0.06210 87 75 5 7
2255 What helmet law? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2256 I'm going to give you a warning for doing 650 in a 35, but I have to issue you a citation for the expired plates. 1.2184 0.06210 87 75 5 7
2257 I can understand you're under a lot of stress but with all due respect, what kind of idiot takes a delivery job with the only Domino's Pizza within a 200 mile radius? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2258 Sir, the fine for not wearing a seatbelt is thirty dollars. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2259 Congradulations! You just set the land speed record in a school zone. 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2260 Did you know you were going 10,348 miles per hour over the speed limit? 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2261 I have to write you up for not having a vanity plate. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2262 Did you know your engine was on fire? 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2263 Well, buddy, whether you knew it or not, your taillight's out. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2264 No, I'm citing you because your right brake light is out. I'll be darned if I'll give you the satisfaction of a speeding ticket. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2265 The alien defense won't work, son. This ain't Arizona. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2266 Jetson-Schmetson, you're getting a ticket. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2267 Slow down. You move too fast. You've got to make the morning last. 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
2268 Yes, I'm aware the speed of sound is slower than the speed of light. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2269 …and no seat belts. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2270 Because you were doing Mach 1 in a 55 mile an hour zone. 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2271 Says here your Burning Man mutant vehicle permit has expired, sir. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2272 There's no point taking the high road now, sir. 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2273 Broken tail light. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2274 You were doing 350 in a 20. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2275 I noticed that you have a broken afterburner. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2276 Sir, do you know why I stopped you? 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2277 Von Braun? Are you related to the Greenville von Brauns? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2278 You know that your tail lights are burnt out? 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2279 Didn't you see that stop sign back there? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2280 You'd like to 'Apollo-gize?' 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2281 That will be a ticket for $175 and 20,000,000 points for speeding. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2282 Issuing you this speeding ticket covers my quota for the year. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2283 Your brake lights are out. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2284 Mind if we switch for a little while? 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2285 "No, you weren't speeding, I'm arresting you for being incredibly annoying.'' 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2286 It's beta. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2287 You are receiving two citations: 1) excessive afterburner use, and 2) playing Elton John's 'Rocket Man' in a hospital Quiet Zone. Any questions? 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2288 I admire the space program as much as the next guy, but you can't to do 220 in a 45. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2289 But Officer, I was trying to get out of here before the presidential nightmare becomes a reality! 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2290 I clocked you at 672 miles per hour, but I'm going to write the ticket for 664. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2291 Sorry officer, it was just a case of failure to launch. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2292 Show me your license, registration, and proof of life insurance. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2293 Huston, we have a problem 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2294 You never get the mileage they print on the window sticker... 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2295 Mr. Musk, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2296 Good thing you ran out of fuel - it was getting pretty hot back there. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2297 Do you know why I pulled you over this evening, sir ? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2298 I'm not going to write you up today, but I want that flux capacitor fixed by Thursday. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2299 Only 863 miles to Canada? Slide over, I'm coming along! 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2300 I don't care what you read on the internet, the speed limit has not been abolished. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2301 My wife told me not to come home until I got bigger test vehicles 1.2184 0.06210 87 75 5 7
2302 I pulled you over because I can. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2303 Stick to the interstate highways next time 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2304 Sir, I regret to inform you that in this state we obey the laws of thermodynamics. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2305 Sir, the salt flats are in Utah, not Indiana. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2306 I know, your speedometer isn't working, right? 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2307 Drunk, naked and crashing an MiG is no way to go through life, son. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2308 Give me a current license, son. This one's no good before twenty fifty-one. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2309 No, it hasn't expired. This license doesn't become valid until 2030. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2310 At that speed, Sir, you weren't driving this vehicle. You were aiming it! 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2311 It passed state inspection, except for the emissions test. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2312 A bit heavy on the afterburner pedal are we not, General Yeager? 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2313 I pulled you over because your right o-ring is burned out. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2314 Speeding? No. Your left brake light is out. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2315 I don't care if your name is Sully. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2316 Did you think you could get away with disabling your catalytic converter? 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2317 No officer, it's a Dyson. 1.2184 0.05991 87 74 7 6
2318 Your tail lights are, um, burned out. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2319 I'll let you off with warning. Just keep it to 555. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2320 Very fancy combine, sir, but it still needs a Slow Moving Vehicle emblem. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2321 Speeding? No, your taillight is out. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2322 I stopped you for over compensating. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2323 Next time, I'd go for less conspicuous. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2324 I've been following you since you left Venus and you definitely were speeding! 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2325 Why? For going 200 in a school zone and taking seventeen miles to pull over, that's why. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2326 Exceeding the speed of light is against the law. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2327 Sir, are you aware that you have a tail light out? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2328 Mars, huh? Is that the kind of place to raise your kids? 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2329 You are not OK for lift off. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2330 It actually wasn’t just that light back there: you haven’t stopped for anything in about a thousand miles. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
2331 Why exactly were you tailgating that balloon truck? 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2332 Your astronaut license and registration, please. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2333 Listen smart guy. I'll show you some Right Stuff right now! 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2334 Affluenza is not an excuse. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2335 I didn't want to be late for the launch. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2336 You understand that deregulation of the speed limit doesn't occur until after the presidential inauguration? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2337 You saw me then you buckled your seat belt. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2338 Visa and Alien registration application Please 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2339 I thought you would be Jay Leno. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
2340 Don't waste your one call to Houston. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2341 Are you aware you were breaking the sound barrier? 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
2342 You aren't wearing your seatbelt. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2343 And just how fast do you THINK you were going? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2344 Officer would you mind putting this on my permanent record? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2345 If you can't keep up with the traffic, move to the right lane. 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
2346 I'm trying to get to Canada as soon as possible. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2347 Your registration expired. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2348 Mr Musk, Mars is up, not across. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2349 Just get that taillight fixed next time, OK buddy? 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2350 Pilot's license and aircraft registration, please. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2351 I don't have a calculator so you're getting a warning. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2352 Found the dog leash tied to the bumper. Poor little guy, probably kept up with you for a mile or so. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2353 Do you realize that was a Mach 2 school zone, sir? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2354 I'm obliged to ask,- have you been drinking? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2355 Your smog check sticker expired. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2356 I know you were at least over MACH 1 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2357 I'll need to see your license, registration and smog check certificate. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2358 Canada? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2359 Sir, did you know that you were going Mach 3 in a Mach 2 zone? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2360 Did you think it was a blue light? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2361 Cool your jets, you've been signaling since Venus 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2362 On top of which you're facing the wrong way! 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2363 Well, if it were a weapon, there wouldn't be any problem. But since this doohickey is on wheels, I'm afraid I'm going to have to see your license and registration. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2364 Choosing a non-red model did not help Greg stay inconspicuous on the road. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2365 Did you know your rear burners were out? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2366 I clocked you going 2000 miles above the speed limit. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2367 In a hurry to get somewhere? 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2368 I'm letting you off with a warning this time. But if I catch you texting again, I'm writing you up. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2369 I don't care what your GPS says, this isn't the way to Mars. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2370 Master's degree and registration please. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2371 I don't care if your father is going to be president, you can't drive a jet on the highway. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2372 Sound barrier or not, your tail light is out. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2373 Sorry. This time, you just got too high. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2374 I'll get that tail light fixed right away, Officer. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2375 Young man, you were not only exceeding the speed limit, you were exceeding the speed of sound. License and registration, please. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2376 Was it my taillight, officer? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2377 That's an illegal tint. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2378 I clocked you at 437 miles per hour over the posted limit... and I noticed your left turn signal is out. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2379 Mr. Musk, I'm sorry but I do not know who you are. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2380 I got it. Spread your wings. Take it to the limit. Eschew the quotidian. Last check on the bucket list. Attain the sublime thrill of visceral epiphany... I still gotta give you a ticket. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2381 You were going Mach 2 in a Mach .05 zone. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2382 Naw, that's cool. You left tail light is out. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2383 Sir, do you know how slow you were going? 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2384 You expect me to believe you thought the speed limit sign said 65 THOUSAND miles/hr? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2385 Don't tell me. A volkswagen passed you and said he couldn't get out of 2nd gear. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2386 And just who did you expect to repair the melted asphalt? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2387 600 in a 40 zone ... you were flying! 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2388 I'm sorry Sir, no three wheeled vehicles are allowed on this highway! 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2389 I won't arrest you if you can hook me up with the guy you bought that from. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2390 For the Kennedy Space Center take a right at the next traffic light. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2391 I'll let you off with just a warning this time, but get that muffler repaired! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2392 You can go ahead and tweet as much as you want that I'm an idiot Mr.Trump, but I suggest that you focus instead on trying to learn how to drive something with this much power. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2393 I don't care if you're late for a meeting - do you have any idea what the fines are for going 765 over the speed limit? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2394 Your left afterburner is out. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2395 Where did you learn to drive, Mars? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2396 I'm giving you two tickets for going twice the speed of sound 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2397 So you've just broken the world speed record? Tell me something I don't know. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2398 Son, the fact of the matter is your taillights are burned out 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2399 But officer, it was the slowest I could go. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2400 I stopped you because you were doing the speed limit. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2401 The "I was just keeping pace with the flow of traffic" argument doesn't actually apply to AIR traffic.... 1.2093 0.05990 86 74 6 6
2402 I don't care if you were "only" going Mach .039. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2403 No, contrary to what you may have read online this thing is NOT protected by the 2nd Amendment. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2404 You lost your front license plate 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2405 “You may consider yourself above the law but I’m going to bring you down to earth. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2406 I'm letting you off with a warning, but get that tint removed. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2407 Seriously, THAT much over the limit? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2408 License and physics, please. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2409 What wife? What baby? What hospital? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2410 You didn't yield for the International Space Station at 200,000 feet and it had the right of way. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2411 Sir, do you know what warp you were going? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2412 For doing mach 3 in a 50 mile-an-hour zone, that's why. 1.2093 0.05990 86 74 6 6
2413 Your rear thrust light is out. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2414 You'll need an emissions test sticker. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2415 Please tell me you were only reaching for your registration just then and that you didn't intend to eject your wife. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2416 Yeah, yeah, and I suppose you're wearing Speedo shorts, too. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2417 But officer, I hardly touched the accelerator! 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2418 Emergency landing? What type of a speeding excuse is that!? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2419 Because you failed to signal your descent. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2420 You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out you were speeding. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2421 Sir, are you aware your tail light is out? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2422 Yes there is no speed limit, but I heard you! 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2423 No, the B-2 evades radar. You have the B-3. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2424 Mach 4 in a 35. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2425 Can you tell me where the Bonneville salt flats are? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2426 Sir. Didn't you see the No Afterburner" sign back there? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2427 And fix your mufflers, will you? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2428 Do you know why I grounded you? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2429 Your left turn signal isn't working. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2430 Sorry, sir, whether it is Mach three or four, it is hazardous to drive with a broken tailight. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2431 Actually, I don't want to know. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2432 License, registration, and Orbital Mechanics degree, please. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2433 You know, you're the third joy-riding valet I've pulled over this week. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2434 Did you know you have no working taillights? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2435 Oh, c'mon, you KNOW where the fire is 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2436 One of your tail lights is out. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2437 It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that you were speeding 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2438 Did you realize you forgot to signal back there? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2439 The exit for JPL was about two parsecs back. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2440 Failure to signal a galaxy change. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2441 The speed limit in this town is Sound. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2442 Sir, do you know what the land speed record is? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2443 Just turn around and follow me to the station. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2444 Geez Max, and I thought you were a show-off in high school... 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2445 This is for being the sole occupant using the HOV lane 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2446 For not wearing a helmet. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2447 Dude, where's your car? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2448 You're messing with me. Right? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2449 Speeding? No, this ticket is for the broken tail light. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2450 This is my first ticket for someone passing OVER me! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2451 Sorry, officer, there is no glove compartment. My registration and smog certificate are on file with NASA. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2452 Sir, your left blinker is broken. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2453 What's the fine for 15 hundred over? 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2454 Are you aware you were going Mach 2 in a 55 mph zone? 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2455 Orbital velocities won't get you very far. Just sayin'. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2456 Okay, son, just keep it under 800. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2457 Sir, did you realise both your tail-lights are out? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2458 I'm just surprised I caught up to you. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2459 Speed limits are not rocket science, sir. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2460 Congratulations, you just set the land speeding record. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2461 Ok, where's the firefight? 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2462 You were going 500 mph in a 400 mph zone. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2463 Sir you were going 500 miles per hour in a 25 mile per hour zone 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2464 You can't do Mach 1 in a 30 m.p.h. zone. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2465 Did you know your left afterburner is wonky? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2466 Turn down the radio please. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2467 License and registration in 3, 2, 1…. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2468 So this is the new Tesla! 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2469 I clocked you doing Mach 2 in a Mach 1 zone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to write you up. 1.2093 0.05990 86 74 6 6
2470 Mach 10 is not the posted speed limit, sir. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2471 Sorry son, but bitcoin isn't a payment option. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2472 It's posted, sir: no afterburners. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2473 You know this would be different if you were black. 1.2093 0.05990 86 74 6 6
2474 Where's the fire-- on Mars? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2475 Son, the error code on my radar gun, in the owners manual it translates to "arrest him". 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2476 No , you are flying too low... 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2477 No texting! 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2478 Your tail light's busted 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2479 You were going just a bit over the speed limit. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2480 How fast does snapchat say that you were going? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2481 Please turn off your engines, I can't hear you. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2482 We're serious about the seat belt law in this state buddy 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2483 I couldn't get it up. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2484 Uber or Lyft? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2485 No, I'm afraid it's miles per hour, not mach per hour. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2486 Sorry, sir, but there is a minimum speed of 40 m.p.h. on this road. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2487 You were in the HOV lane. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2488 Your tail lights are too bright. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2489 I clocked you at Mach I in a 25 MPH zone. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2490 Third one of these I've pulled over this week. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2491 Sorry officer... I just pulled over to safely take a call. High tech ride but no blue tooth. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2492 Do you realize you're missing back left heat shield? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2493 You were going under the speed limit for this vehicle. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2494 Your brake lights are out. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2495 Yeah, I'd say it is running a little hot. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2496 I've warned you before about that broken tail light. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2497 Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to eject yourself from the rocket-shark 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2498 Yeager, hmm....any relation to Chuck? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2499 this is your second warning to cool your jets 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2500 Sir, do you realize you were going 1,340 in a 35 mph zone? 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2501 You guys always go for out of state plates, huh? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2502 Thanks for pulling over. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2503 I'm giving you a ticket for driving too slow. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2504 No, I'm Jerry Jetson, George's older brother. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2505 You know better than to break Mach 4. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2506 Did you know one of your taillights is out? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2507 Any idea how much faster than the speed of sound you were going? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2508 sir i pulled you over because this is a no fly zone. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2509 Do you know what Mach number you were going? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2510 But Officer, I couldn't hear your siren, I had broken the speed of sound! 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2511 You can't go faster than my radar gun. It's the law ... of physics. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2512 But officer, 120 is the new 60. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2513 I clocked you doing 2800 in a 55 mile per hour zone. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2514 Actually, I know precisely how fast I was going. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2515 Now remember to get that tail light fixed soon. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2516 Did you know that your brake light is not working? 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2517 Do you know how many times over the speed of sound you were going? 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2518 You're in a no afterburner zone. 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
2519 I'm afraid that tic tac can't help you now. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2520 No ma'am. The supersonic zone ended several miles back. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2521 I'm sorry Mr. President-Elect, but our state road safety laws do apply to you. Now, please give me your birth certificate. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2522 I had you clocked at 800 miles above speed limit. 1.2069 0.05696 87 74 8 5
2523 No, we don't recognize license plates from Pluto. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2524 I'm sorry sir, but rockets haven't been cool since the '56 Chevy. 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
2525 It's illegal to drive without running lights, especially so at 450 miles per hour. 1.2024 0.05813 84 72 7 5
2526 Your left turn light is on and it's driving everybody crazy. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2527 You're in the HOV lane. Anyone else in there? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2528 This is a no-mach speed zone. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2529 Sorry, Officer. I was listening to NPR and didn't hear the siren. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
2530 That's right, three. I got you for 12,775 in a 45, then 3,788 in a 65... plus Failure to Yield. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2531 Thank you for becoming our top donor. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2532 Yea, that's right, you've been off the Salt Flats for 5 miles. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2533 According to Google maps this is the best route 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2534 Taking off, or landing? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2535 Sir, you need a permit to break the sound barrier 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2536 I'll be glad to give you directions to the Bonneville Salt Flats. I'll also be glad to give you a ticket. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2537 Yes, I donate to the Police quarterly. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2538 Is this the road to the salt flats? 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2539 Never mind me, how fast were you going? 1.2024 0.05813 84 72 7 5
2540 That's all well and good, son. But in this county you need to signal before an afterburn. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2541 Sir, are you aware that your afterburner light is broken? 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2542 Would you believe I'm on my way to DMV? 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2543 I don't care if a light year is a unit of distance, not speed. You were going too fast. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2544 And is your first name pronounced Ee-lon or Ay-lon, Mr. Musk? 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
2545 You understand, of course, that the raison d'être of my vehicle is to break barriers. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2546 I got you going Mach 3 in a Mach 2 zone. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2547 Sir, your turn signals are smoking. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2548 Do you know how fast you should have been going? 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
2549 Well yeah, the problem is the speed limit. But my name ain't Houston? 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2550 But I thought being part of the 1% gave me license to do anything, anytime, anywhere. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2551 Great, now my insurance is going to sky rocket. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2552 This is an illegal landing zone; I am going to have to ask you to move. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2553 Because I have acrophobia. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2554 So sir I caught you for texting and flying... 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2555 Airplane seat belts don't pass muster down here, pal. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2556 Your parachute failed to deploy at the last stop sign. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2557 I don't need to be a rocket science to give you a ticket, Mister. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2558 Sir, no need to speed yet. The Canadian border's open till January 20th. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2559 So this is the new Tesla! 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2560 You were traveling at Mach 2 in a 45 mile per hour zone. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2561 Sir, do you know how fast you were fleeing the country? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2562 I'm writing you up for a noise violation when you broke the sound barrier. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2563 Sorry, but the Salt Lake flats are in Utah. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2564 Is it because I'm white? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2565 I clocked you at 850. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2566 I don't know, couldn't have been more than eight hundred. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2567 If you were going any slower, I'd have to be writing you a parking ticket. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2568 So you're going to Canada, are you? Can I hitch a ride? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2569 NASA is really aiming low these days. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2570 I've clocked you going 20x the speed of sound in a 10x the speed of sound zone. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2571 You were doing 25,000 mph in a 25 mph zone.... 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2572 You missed 74 stop signs and destroyed a cow. Selfie? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2573 Mr. Musk, you're no longer in California. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2574 Hmmm...do I know how fast I was going...55? 75? 285? Let me know when I'm getting warm... 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2575 Your right thruster light is out. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2576 Your brake lights are out. License and registration please 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2577 Are you aware that you were going 60,000 mph over the limit? 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2578 That's right, Mr. Musk. You're required to have both a front and a rear license plate. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2579 How's the pick up? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2580 I don't care if you were faster than sound, using a phone while driving is illegal. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2581 You were doing 38 in a 30 mph zone. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2582 I didn't see anything... I heard a sonic boom. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2583 Do you know why I pulled you over, Sir? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2584 Do you know what mach you were going? 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
2585 For safety, I'll need you to push this off the highway until your tow arrives. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2586 Are you sure the sign didn't say ONE sixty-five officer? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2587 I had you doing Mach 4 in a 30 mile per hour zone. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2588 Yes, I do know how to get to the Bonneville Salt Flats but you were still speeding. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2589 You've got a broken tail light. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2590 You were clocked at Mach 4 in a Mach 3 Zone. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2591 Wrong turn Mr. Musk? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2592 No, I don't issue warnings to first-time rocket offenders. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2593 Sir did you know your taillight was out? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2594 "You're kidding! This is a no fly zone? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2595 Did you realize that you were doing Mach 7 in a school zone? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2596 Sorry for the inconvenience Senator McConnell, and give your best to the Mrs. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2597 Can I see your smog certificate? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2598 I'm going to have to write you up on that missing tail light. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2599 Could you tell me how fast you were going? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2600 Your left rear after-burner is out. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2601 Sir, do you know your left high pressure oxidizer turbo pump is out? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2602 Sir, are you aware your license plate light is out? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2603 I clocked you at 500 times the speed limit. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2604 I'll take a driver's license or a pilot's license. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2605 Don't give me that old perception and reality stuff. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2606 Your afterburners need watering. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2607 Your tail lights are out. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2608 Hey rocket man. You might rule the skyway, but the highway is still my way. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2609 Oh, so you heard the results of the election? 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2610 Thanks for pulling over. I see you are not wearing a seat belt, and your catalytic converter seems to be defective. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2611 I stopped you for tailgating 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2612 Could you tell me which way to the moon? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2613 You failed to signal before you turned and burned 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2614 I pulled you over because your taillights are burned out. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2615 You were doing Mach 1 in a twenty-five. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2616 Show me your pilot's license and registration. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2617 Did you know that you have a tail light out? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2618 Oh, didn't realize you're white. On your way. 1.2000 0.05988 85 74 5 6
2619 Break light's out. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2620 Did you know your left rear light is out? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2621 You know your left brake light is out? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2622 Officer, forget it. The judge won,'t believe you. 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
2623 Your right rear breaklight is out, plus, this is the most extreme mid-life crisis car I have seen. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2624 Do you realize you were going 200mph over the speed limit? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2625 Fire or a weddin'? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2626 You were going Mach 3 in a Mach 1. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2627 Here's a ticket for $1,000,006, you were going a thousand miles an hour above the speed limit. Slow down. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2628 "What makes you think I was speeding". 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2629 Sir, are you licensed by anyone else besides Donald Trump? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2630 All of our squad cars are now outfitted with warp drive. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2631 Sorry officer, I hit the wrong star-date. 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
2632 Those aren't street legal after-burners, are they son? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2633 Your tail-lights are not only burned out, they burned down several head of cattle and a few goats. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2634 You incinerated that bicyclist you passed. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2635 I've heard that one before. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2636 Do you know why I stopped you today, ma'am? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2637 Is there something wrong, officer? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2638 Okay, where's the supernova? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2639 Really, that fast? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2640 Sir in some places passing to the left isn't even legal, let alone passing over them. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2641 you're going mach 3 in a mach 2 zone. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2642 Sorry 'Sully' but I'm going to need full name and registration. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2643 Yes, Officer, I understand - no more Ludicrous Mode here in Mayberry 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2644 Officer, I was just keeping up with traffic! 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2645 You say you were only going 17,600 MPH ? 1.2000 0.05988 85 74 5 6
2646 You'll need to take a defensive driver class. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2647 Don't give me that old "Which way to the Bonneville Salt Flats?" line. I hear it every day. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2648 It starts 95% of the time, do you think I should call AAA? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2649 The box said after four hours see a doctor immediately. 1.2000 0.06217 85 75 3 7
2650 What's your hurry? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2651 Did you know that your left solid rocket engine light is out? 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2652 You were clocked going over 400 mph in a 55 zone but I'm letting you off with a warning this time. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2653 I'm sorry Sir, but spear nose attachments are illegal in this state. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2654 No arguments sir, your left and right rocket launchers need replacing. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2655 You made an illegal turn at the Skyway exit. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2656 The fine for Mach 1 is going to be a little stiff. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2657 Just signal before you merge next time, okay? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2658 Sir, your left tail light is out. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2659 I don't know what you're used to in the city, but there's a $50 fine for sonic booms in these here parts. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2660 Got a spare jumper cable? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2661 Barron, not again! What's your father gonna say this time? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2662 Sorry to stop you sir but your tail light is out. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2663 Did you know you were going warp 2 in a school zone? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2664 I realize that Mr. Musk but I will have to give you a ticket. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2665 It's a hybrid from Tesla and SpaceX 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2666 Please step out of the rocket. Your registration sticker appears to have expired last month. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2667 Ticketing violators isn't rocket science. It's justice. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2668 Have you by chance seen 2 thugs in hoodies? We've had some complaints. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2669 Mr. Musk, did you realize your tail light was out? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2670 If you're not allowed to exceed the speed of light, it's for a reason. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2671 You failed to indicate upon re-entry 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2672 Sir, I clocked you at Mach 1 over the speed limit..... 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
2673 ...and also, you aren't buckled up. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2674 Didja know you have a tail light out, sir? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2675 Have you consumed any alcohol sir? 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
2676 Excuse me, sir. Your left tail-light is out. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2677 Sir, we frown upon breaking the sound barrier in these parts. 1.1977 0.05687 86 74 7 5
2678 Congratulations. You've fully compensated. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2679 Yeah, it may look like a rocket, but that doesn't mean it'll fly. 1.1977 0.05687 86 74 7 5
2680 I hear it all the time... and I'm guessing you're George Jetson. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
2681 Sir, our radar has you going below warp speed. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2682 But when I bought it seat belts were optional. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2683 Officer, I was just testing my kids Christmas present. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2684 What seems to be the problem, Officer Buzzkill? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2685 Only going the speed of sound? Well, that a first! 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2686 I clocked you at Mach 1 in a 25 mile per hour zone. 1.1928 0.06050 83 73 4 6
2687 You know you were doing 340 in a 30 right? 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2688 It fits the description. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2689 Aside from going 1,140 in a 25, do you know your tail light is out? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2690 Your tail light burned out. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2691 I clocked you going 520 in a 55 mph zone. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2692 Let me guess... it's the new Infinity. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2693 You have a busted tail light. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2694 Rocket science it may be but Cape Canaveral's the other way. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2695 Do you know you've got a charred tail light? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2696 George Jetson, huh? Give me your real name, wise guy. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2697 Where's the fire, on the moon? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2698 Sorry, Pal, lost your way going to The Salt Flats doesn't get it when you're in Kentucky. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2699 A plane? Officer, have you been drinking? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2700 I am giving you a ticket for not wearing a helmet. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2701 This ain't the way to Bonneville, sonny. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2702 Wir fahren fahren fahren auf der Autobahn? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2703 Your right tail light is broken. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2704 Sorry, but you're not allowed to land here. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2705 No, actually, it's due to a joint program with the EPA concerning your exhaust. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2706 Elton, I still need to see your driver's license. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2707 I couldn't pass it up officer. It has less than 13 billion miles on it! 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2708 I get that the acceration is great, but isn't it tough to find a parking space? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2709 Burning rubber, burning titanium, they're the same in my book, buddy. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2710 Do you know why I pulled you over, Mr. Musk? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2711 One small step for a cop, one giant leap for mankind. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2712 Sir I stopped you because you have a broken tail light 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2713 Sir, you were going at light speed. Do you know how long it took me to catch up to you? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2714 Your driver's side tail light is out 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2715 Nobody exceeds the speed of sound limit on my watch, Mr. Yeager. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2716 Rocket ship? Excuse me officer have you been drinking? 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2717 Sir, do you realize your were driving at light speed? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2718 Ooo, Is that Rocket Man? I love this song! Turn it up. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2719 Sorry, Sir. You were going so fast I couldn't tell you were white. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2720 Sir, do you know how I pulled you over? Because I don't. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2721 Are you aware that you've got a broken tail light? 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2722 I don't care what century you came from , here's your speeding ticket . 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2723 No, your weren't speeding...you just fried a convoy of trucks. 1.1928 0.05803 83 72 6 5
2724 Your afterburner is out. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2725 OK Mach , who's having the baby? 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2726 Just think of it as a second afterburn. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2727 Oh yeah, we'll we do things a little differ'nt here in Iowa. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2728 No sir, Canada is the other way. And please, slow down. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2729 Are you aware that your left blinker is out? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2730 Welcome home. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2731 Mach 5 in a school zone. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2732 Both tail lights are burned to a crisp. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2733 Yes, please tell me how fast I was going. 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
2734 Hey Buck Rogers..Your tail light is out. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2735 I'm pretty sure this is not an Oldsmobile Rocket. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2<