Contest #538


Cartoon

538


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started 2016-09-26
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued 2016-10-09 (estimated)
Number of captions 3104
Number of responses 385675
Number of participants 22268


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 I'm not a big cat person. 1.9682 0.01954 1731 600 586 545
1 Think it over. I'm still the only one here who can use a can opener. 1.9537 0.01924 1685 566 631 488
2 In my defense, the neutering was a requirement of the condo board. 1.7858 0.02371 1069 460 378 231
3 First of all, I'd like to apologize for the whole laser light thing. 1.7758 0.02493 999 447 329 223
4 I may be a little prick, but at least I'm not a giant pussy. 1.7593 0.02765 910 452 225 233
5 Don't forget I'm still the only one who knows how to operate the can opener. 1.7412 0.02768 792 369 259 164
6 Kids, stay in the thimble. 1.7332 0.03037 656 309 213 134
7 If you are going to rip-up the sofa, you are going to learn how to fix it! 1.6979 0.02968 662 323 216 123
8 Kill me and the can opener dies with me. 1.6588 0.03243 548 283 169 96
9 If you eat me, you won't have anyone around to ignore anymore. 1.6502 0.03194 526 265 180 81
10 Take it easy, pal. She neutered me, too. 1.6317 0.03478 486 265 135 86
11 So this is what the label meant by "and other side effects." 1.6284 0.03330 479 249 159 71
12 So! Schrodinger's Cat finally meets String Theory! 1.6196 0.03592 460 257 121 82
13 He realized then that shrinking himself wasn't his real mistake -- it was getting a cat. 1.6122 0.03651 441 248 116 77
14 Honey, run the can opener, quick! 1.6055 0.03661 436 247 114 75
15 Seriously, you'll just cough me up. 1.5850 0.03602 400 221 124 55
16 One of us is having a bad dream. 1.5672 0.03838 372 217 99 56
17 "Honey...was the cat food made by Monsanto? 1.5637 0.03883 369 218 94 57
18 It was then that Bill realized he had made a terrible mistake wishing for "a ton of pussy." 1.5441 0.04106 340 210 75 55
19 So that would be a no on the cat sweater, then. 1.5347 0.03926 331 197 91 43
20 I thought I'd sew a pussycat. 1.5292 0.04303 325 210 58 57
21 Easy now, kitty. How about we work together until we figure out whose dream this is. 1.5252 0.03975 318 191 87 40
22 Absolutely the last time I cat-sit for Gulliver. 1.5208 0.04074 313 192 79 42
23 One of us is in the wrong cartoon. 1.5208 0.04271 313 200 63 50
24 You knew I was a terrible wizard when you married me. 1.5116 0.04255 303 193 65 45
25 I know this is how you perceive me but in reality I'm twenty times your size and control your food. 1.5116 0.04018 303 184 83 36
26 What happened to you just ignoring me all the time? 1.5067 0.03927 298 178 89 31
27 Looks like my wish for a shrink may have been misinterpreted. 1.5067 0.03869 298 176 93 29
28 Remember how everyone was saying you should be neutered but I said no? 1.5067 0.03908 300 179 90 31
29 Don't make me call the dog. 1.5067 0.04020 300 183 82 35
30 Keep in mind I only get one life. 1.5017 0.04092 293 181 77 35
31 “If you stop calling me, “a little man”, I will stop calling you, “a big pussy”. 1.4983 0.04310 291 188 61 42
32 Small Lives Matter 1.4965 0.04086 288 178 77 33
33 Calm down. It's the catnip talking. 1.4965 0.04056 288 177 79 32
34 Don't come any closer, I'm allergic. 1.4836 0.04196 275 174 69 32
35 It was then that Archie realized he hadn't paid close enough attention to the non-GMO cat food label. 1.4778 0.04121 270 169 73 28
36 You seemed much cuter online 1.4739 0.04006 268 165 79 24
37 I'm afraid things got out of proportion here. 1.4717 0.04073 265 165 75 25
38 I understand your frustration, but your boots won't be ready until Thursday after 3. 1.4717 0.04177 265 168 69 28
39 One of us has eaten too many mushrooms. 1.4697 0.04118 264 166 72 26
40 Kind of wishing I'd grabbed the laser pointer instead. 1.4697 0.04222 264 169 66 29
41 This is the last time we drop acid and catnip together. 1.4609 0.04524 256 173 48 35
42 Stay back, I'm allergic 1.4585 0.04280 253 164 62 27
43 Can't you go back to being aloof? 1.4585 0.04016 253 157 76 20
44 When the sign said 'World's Biggest Cathouse', I guess I misunderstood. 1.4542 0.04266 251 163 62 26
45 This situation has gotten completely out of proportion. 1.4538 0.04215 249 160 65 24
46 I guess you're not a person-cat. 1.4516 0.04341 248 163 58 27
47 You have nine lives and I have ten needles. Any questions? 1.4490 0.04417 245 163 54 28
48 If you'd just work with me, I think we have a best selling children's book here. 1.4490 0.04262 245 159 62 24
49 Look, neither of us want an alteration 1.4467 0.04579 244 167 45 32
50 I have GOT to start reading the list of side effects with my medication. 1.4467 0.04194 244 157 65 22
51 I hate being part of the shrinking middle class. 1.4444 0.04124 243 155 68 20
52 You might be her cat, but I'm her little man, so back off. 1.4440 0.04351 241 159 57 25
53 So, am I in your dream, or are you in mine? 1.4417 0.04323 240 158 58 24
54 Either you're a subconscious dream manifestation of my ex-wife, or I'm in really big trouble. 1.4417 0.04596 240 165 44 31
55 Your OTHER left paw. 1.4393 0.04294 239 157 59 23
56 'It'll sleep a lot,' she said. 'You'll barely know it's here,' she said. 1.4393 0.04294 239 157 59 23
57 Did I say catgut? I meant nylon. 1.4364 0.04373 236 157 55 24
58 Don't marry a cat lady, they said, but did I listen? 1.4364 0.04652 236 164 41 31
59 You need to cooperate for this to become viral. 1.4364 0.04414 236 158 53 25
60 OK, let's say we reschedule the neutering. 1.4364 0.04331 236 156 57 23
61 Okay, I'll stop making dumb internet videos of you. Just reverse the spell. 1.4351 0.04250 239 157 60 22
62 ...and what was your second wish? 1.4310 0.04466 232 157 50 25
63 Kitty, it's me. I've been downsized. 1.4310 0.04339 232 154 56 22
64 When I wake up, you'd better be sleeping at the foot of the bed. 1.4286 0.04394 231 155 53 23
65 Do you solemnly swear to leave the upholstery alone? 1.4279 0.04421 229 154 52 23
66 You need a shrink. 1.4279 0.04421 229 154 52 23
67 Oh, now you make eye contact. 1.4279 0.04378 229 153 54 22
68 Wait wait! The Red Dot! I can show you how to catch it! 1.4279 0.04507 229 156 48 25
69 I'm guessing this is a bad time to bring up that you were adopted. 1.4279 0.04289 229 151 58 20
70 This will hurt me more than it will hurt you. 1.4279 0.04835 229 164 32 33
71 You're going to need to sit still if you want these alterations done. 1.4279 0.04244 229 150 60 19
72 I wouldn't think such a big pussy would be afraid of a little prick 1.4254 0.04729 228 161 37 30
73 I said a stitch in time saves nine and yes, all of your lives matter. 1.4254 0.04605 228 158 43 27
74 Pause the paws and I'll remove the thorn. 1.4254 0.04646 228 159 41 28
75 I'm more valuable to you alive. I can mend the catnip mouse. 1.4229 0.04221 227 149 60 18
76 Where's the dog when you need him? 1.4222 0.04430 225 152 51 22
77 How did you get out of the bag? 1.4196 0.04487 224 153 48 23
78 Oh yeah? Good luck working the can opener. 1.4196 0.04304 224 149 56 19
79 Honey, would you mind putting Precious outside for a while? 1.4196 0.04351 224 150 54 20
80 This was much more fun when you were a kitten. 1.4170 0.04075 223 144 65 14
81 Honey, the cat's outta the bag... 1.4136 0.04209 220 145 59 16
82 Honey, I think we can leave the debate over 'shrank' or 'shrunk' for another day. 1.4136 0.04541 220 152 45 23
83 It said 'condensed milk.' Who knew? 1.4136 0.04495 220 151 47 22
84 "Take shrinking," they said. "It's the best super power," they said. 1.4110 0.04414 219 149 50 20
85 Hand over Thumbelina and nobody gets hurt. 1.4110 0.04645 219 154 40 25
86 It seems as though I've brought a needle to a catfight. 1.4101 0.04345 217 146 53 18
87 Would it help if I say I'm a big cat lover? 1.4101 0.04296 217 145 55 17
88 Stand back! This needle is threaded! 1.4101 0.04296 217 145 55 17
89 I think I liked you better as a kitten. 1.4101 0.04584 217 151 43 23
90 Does it really even matter whose dream this is? 1.4101 0.04394 217 147 51 19
91 Last time I take LSD. 1.4089 0.04608 203 139 45 19
92 I should have known the genie would confuse my wish for a ton of pussy. 1.4083 0.04704 218 155 37 26
93 Alice! Where's the pill that makes you larger? 1.4083 0.04426 218 149 49 20
94 Well, I didn't try to eat you when I was the bigger one. 1.4083 0.04793 218 157 33 28
95 I may be a big pussy, but I'm not afraid of a little prick. 1.4074 0.04550 216 150 44 22
96 This is the last time I house sit for Stephen King's cat! 1.4074 0.04257 216 144 56 16
97 I know this is a dream because I don't sew. 1.4074 0.04257 216 144 56 16
98 You're not what I told the genie I wanted lots of! 1.4047 0.04840 215 156 31 28
99 Honey, the cat hasn't forgotten we had him neutered. 1.4047 0.04467 215 148 47 20
100 This is going to hurt me more than it does you. 1.4047 0.04750 215 154 35 26
101 Tell me where the ball of yarn is, and nobody gets hurt 1.4009 0.04459 212 146 47 19
102 THIS was the point of my bringing the sewing kit in, kitten. 1.4000 0.04638 210 148 40 22
103 Why do I always have to be Androcles? 1.4000 0.04385 210 143 50 17
104 Stop being such a big pussy and let me get that splinter. 1.3981 0.04716 211 151 36 24
105 But you ARE a big pussy! 1.3971 0.04601 209 147 41 21
106 I seem to have lost perspective 1.3971 0.04449 209 144 47 18
107 It's the same nightmare - the cat's got my tongue and I'm hanging on by a thread. 1.3971 0.04700 209 149 37 23
108 Honey! Change the box! 1.3971 0.04182 209 139 57 13
109 Hey, Alice -- which one makes you larger? 1.3942 0.04564 208 146 42 20
110 You were a lot more fun when you weighed three pounds. 1.3942 0.04302 208 141 52 15
111 Now, what have you done with Thumbelina? 1.3942 0.04408 208 143 48 17
112 To be honest, I'm not thrilled with you either at the moment. 1.3942 0.04512 208 145 44 19
113 Alice warned me this might happen. 1.3942 0.04408 208 143 48 17
114 Curiosity isn't going to be your problem. 1.3932 0.04437 206 142 47 17
115 Who's the pussy now? 1.3902 0.04555 205 144 42 19
116 Should've taken the blue pill. 1.3902 0.04608 205 145 40 20
117 I suppose you realize, now, that "fixed" is just a euphemism. 1.3873 0.04406 204 141 47 16
118 C'mon. You're blowing this whole thing out of proportion. 1.3861 0.04208 202 136 54 12
119 It's time for the fat cats to answer to the little guys. 1.3861 0.04960 202 150 26 26
120 Just remember, I'm the only one who knows where the Friskies are kept! 1.3831 0.04391 201 139 47 15
121 Sorry about that whole neutering thing 1.3831 0.04334 201 138 49 14
122 Hey, I think I hear the sound of the can opener! 1.3831 0.04098 201 134 57 10
123 I'm done playing cat and mouse. 1.3819 0.04362 199 137 48 14
124 Now do something cute for the Internet. 1.3819 0.04362 199 137 48 14
125 Ah but you forget, my fearsome foe, that there's more than one way to skin a cat 1.3819 0.04477 199 139 44 16
126 Back off. I have a needle - and it's threaded. 1.3819 0.04362 199 137 48 14
127 Relax, I get splinters out of my kids hands all the time. 1.3819 0.04304 199 136 50 13
128 You got the yarn. Now just go. 1.3788 0.04431 198 138 45 15
129 Or, hear me out, I could teach you how the can opener works 1.3788 0.04489 198 139 43 16
130 Wait - is this the dream about health insurance or the one about calling the cable company? 1.3788 0.04431 198 138 45 15
131 I don't know what has happened to me, but it was Helen who had you neutered. 1.3788 0.04489 198 139 43 16
132 Why don't we settle this with a nice belly rub? 1.3756 0.04558 197 140 40 17
133 I'm telling you, it was Louise who insisted on neutering. 1.3756 0.04264 197 135 50 12
134 Are you sure that was catnip? 1.3756 0.04939 197 147 26 24
135 C'mon, cough it up. 1.3756 0.04442 197 138 44 15
136 Time to find out if I'm a mouse or a man. 1.3744 0.04646 195 140 37 18
137 That's it! I'm now officially a dog person! 1.3744 0.04531 195 138 41 16
138 honey..the cat's out of the bag 1.3744 0.04472 195 137 43 15
139 Okay, from now on we're switching to non-GMO milk! 1.3724 0.04454 196 138 43 15
140 Honey, I blew up the cat. 1.3711 0.04601 194 139 38 17
141 I'm going to need a spool sample. 1.3711 0.04543 194 138 40 16
142 Help me find the antidote and you can have tuna every night. 1.3711 0.04716 194 141 34 19
143 OK, Honey, free the children while I have him distracted 1.3711 0.04543 194 138 40 16
144 This is because I only put out the dry food isn't it?! 1.3711 0.04484 194 137 42 15
145 Honey, you were supposed to shrink the kids! 1.3711 0.04424 194 136 44 14
146 You may have claws, but I have opposable thumbs. En garde! 1.3698 0.04575 192 137 39 16
147 Yes, you're right to be upset. I'm very sorry we named you "Mr. Snuggles." 1.3698 0.04692 192 139 35 18
148 Declawing was just a suggestion... 1.3698 0.04575 192 137 39 16
149 Alice, quick, where’s the other pill? 1.3698 0.04330 192 133 47 12
150 Okay -- I promise we won't use cat gut any more. 1.3698 0.04807 192 141 31 20
151 Don't make me use the scissors. 1.3698 0.04515 192 136 41 15
152 I wouldn't be so curious if I were you. 1.3698 0.04575 192 137 39 16
153 Usually I wake up about now....... 1.3665 0.04465 191 135 42 14
154 Well I'll be damned - my wife really IS a witch! 1.3665 0.04646 191 138 36 17
155 You're taking things out of proportion. 1.3665 0.04276 191 132 48 11
156 The name is Thumb, Tom Thumb. 1.3665 0.04587 191 137 38 16
157 Yes, honey-- I believe you now. Please change me back. 1.3665 0.04526 191 136 40 15
158 Stay back! I know cross-stitch. 1.3665 0.04705 191 139 34 18
159 Be gentle—this is the only life I've got! 1.3665 0.04526 191 136 40 15
160 Think about it – am I really worth one of your lives ? 1.3665 0.04403 191 134 44 13
161 On second thought, I'll just have the vet remove those. 1.3646 0.04507 192 137 40 15
162 Okay,the litter box is full. I'll call the backhoe guy. 1.3632 0.04538 190 136 39 15
163 I'm never petsitting for Gulliver again. 1.3632 0.04413 190 134 43 13
164 What am I, a man or a mouse? 1.3617 0.04569 188 135 38 15
165 I might be little but I can be a big prick 1.3617 0.04443 188 133 42 13
166 The cat's out of the bag....and it's bigger than expected. 1.3617 0.04692 188 137 34 17
167 Don't worry, this will hurt me more than it will hurt you. 1.3617 0.05154 188 145 18 25
168 Am I a man or a mouse? Seriously? 1.3617 0.04443 188 133 42 13
169 So, if I mess up, you'll still have eight more lives. 1.3613 0.04331 191 134 45 12
170 If you want to get to my curtains, you're going to have to get through me first. 1.3613 0.04331 191 134 45 12
171 Honey, please put the cat out. 1.3613 0.04518 191 137 39 15
172 Oh, now you're interested in me. 1.3613 0.04638 191 139 35 17
173 As soon as I find the "Drink Me" bottle, you're going to be one sorry cat 1.3613 0.04394 191 135 43 13
174 I don't know if you're in my dream or I'm in your dream, but either way I hope one of us wakes up. 1.3594 0.04437 192 137 41 14
175 "Catgut" is just a brand name. 1.3583 0.04705 187 137 33 17
176 This will hurt me more than it hurts you. 1.3575 0.04882 193 146 25 22
177 Mittens, are we stuck in your dream or mine? 1.3568 0.04549 185 133 38 14
178 OMG! You're right. It's probably ME who's off my meds. 1.3568 0.04418 185 131 42 12
179 Are you getting this on video? 1.3568 0.04614 185 134 36 15
180 Neutering was NOT my idea. 1.3548 0.04529 186 134 38 14
181 Okay, things seemed to have changed since last night, but I'm still in charge. 1.3533 0.04752 184 136 31 17
182 Personally, I think you are blowing this little sliver in your paw WAY out of proportion. 1.3533 0.04429 184 131 41 12
183 Okay! I'm sorry about the neutering thing! 1.3533 0.04625 184 134 35 15
184 I was against having you fixed, remember? 1.3533 0.04361 184 130 43 11
185 See, this is why I'm a dog person. 1.3533 0.04689 184 135 33 16
186 How's that cerebral cortex and opposable thumbs working out for you NOW! 1.3533 0.04625 184 134 35 15
187 You should try it. The dog crochets. 1.3533 0.04495 184 132 39 13
188 Oh relax. You should be able to take a little needling. 1.3533 0.04814 184 137 29 18
189 If you don't kill me, the vet bills will. 1.3526 0.04691 173 125 35 13
190 Taxidermy looked so much easier online. 1.3497 0.04765 183 136 30 17
191 Calm down - you took some bad catnip. 1.3497 0.04159 183 127 48 8
192 Behind the scenes, The Cat in the Hat was quite harsh with the wardrobe department. 1.3481 0.04736 181 134 31 16
193 Sensitive about our name ....are we Mr. Buttons? 1.3481 0.04604 181 132 35 14
194 What catnip induced hallucinations look like from the inside. 1.3481 0.04330 181 128 43 10
195 Last chance. Where did you find the steroids. 1.3481 0.04671 181 133 33 15
196 Sew...what's new pussycat? 1.3481 0.04736 181 134 31 16
197 This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you. 1.3481 0.05050 181 139 21 21
198 I got sewing supplies and I'm not afraid to use them. 1.3481 0.04330 181 128 43 10
199 He quickly realized why the magic beans were in the clearance aisle. 1.3481 0.04864 181 136 27 18
200 Don't you recognize me? Before that damned genie showed up, I'm the one that fed you every day and cleaned out your litter box! 1.3481 0.04604 181 132 35 14
201 It's not fair. You're bigger, stronger and you have nine lives. 1.3481 0.04537 181 131 37 13
202 Please tell me you’re litter trained. 1.3481 0.04400 181 129 41 11
203 Exactly what did you do with Thumbelina? 1.3481 0.04258 181 127 45 9
204 I'm sorry about all those YouTube videos of you that I posted. 1.3481 0.04537 181 131 37 13
205 No more GMO cat-nip for you! 1.3481 0.04469 181 130 39 12
206 OK, OK...A cat is man's best friend. 1.3481 0.04036 181 124 51 6
207 Nevertheless, you see my point. 1.3481 0.04537 181 131 37 13
208 I think I may need to use your litter box. 1.3478 0.04551 184 134 36 14
209 That's Mister Curiousity to you... 1.3478 0.04680 184 136 32 16
210 Wow! Jefferson Airplane wasn't kidding about those pills! 1.3444 0.04813 180 135 28 17
211 Oh, so now you notice me? 1.3444 0.04616 180 132 34 14
212 Touché 1.3444 0.04338 180 128 42 10
213 This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. 1.3444 0.05065 180 139 20 21
214 I knew this would happen when they took away all our guns. 1.3444 0.04682 180 133 32 15
215 It's definitely out of the bag! 1.3444 0.04813 180 135 28 17
216 You have me at a disadvantage, Ms. Galore. 1.3444 0.04616 180 132 34 14
217 You ruined the couch; I think it's only right that you fix it. 1.3444 0.04682 180 133 32 15
218 I'm living in that sewing basket, Buster! Use it as a litter box again and you'll get a lot worse than a jab with a needle! 1.3427 0.04367 178 127 41 10
219 Keep up that attitude, and you'll have eight lives. 1.3427 0.04439 178 128 39 11
220 I told you, when you "give five" you retract the claws. 1.3427 0.04580 178 130 35 13
221 Good. Now STAY!! 1.3427 0.04717 178 132 31 15
222 Let's keep this in perspective, shall we! 1.3427 0.04294 178 126 43 9
223 Hey, calm down...I'm not the one who decides how vets take your temperature. 1.3427 0.04784 178 133 29 16
224 Hey, look over there! A laser dot! 1.3427 0.04717 178 132 31 15
225 I think someone put catnip in my LSD. 1.3427 0.04066 178 123 49 6
226 You're right. I lied. I knew she made the salmon for you and I ate it anyway. 1.3427 0.04717 178 132 31 15
227 I think this is gonna hurt me more than its gonna hurt you. 1.3427 0.04915 178 135 25 18
228 When I said I was making a calico quilt, don’t worry, I didn’t mean you. 1.3427 0.04850 178 134 27 17
229 Just remember you're a living organism on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken catnip, a heavy drug. Relax, stay inside and listen to some music, Okay? Do you have any Allman Brothers? 1.3427 0.04439 178 128 39 11
230 Things could be worse... I could be allergic to you. 1.3408 0.04419 179 129 39 11
231 Ask yourself: Am I man or am I mouse? 1.3408 0.04559 179 131 35 13
232 Cat. Lives. Matter. 1.3390 0.04591 177 130 34 13
233 Just don't lecture me about perspective. 1.3371 0.04480 175 127 37 11
234 If dogs are man's best friend, you must be my ex girlfriend. 1.3371 0.04624 175 129 33 13
235 Funny cat video, take two. 1.3371 0.04331 175 125 41 9
236 He looked a lot cuter on the internet. 1.3371 0.04553 175 128 35 12
237 Think, Max. Think! I'm the guy who changes your litter box! 1.3371 0.04553 175 128 35 12
238 I'm warning you, I know how to cross stitch! 1.3371 0.04695 175 130 31 14
239 "No more GMO milk for you!' 1.3371 0.04480 175 127 37 11
240 You look different from your profile photo. 1.3371 0.04624 175 129 33 13
241 Just remember that I'm the little guy who cleans your big litter box. 1.3371 0.04331 175 125 41 9
242 You really want to waste one of your lives like this? 1.3371 0.04254 175 124 43 8
243 Curiosity killed the man 1.3333 0.04415 174 126 38 10
244 Do you really think I'm afraid of a little prick? 1.3333 0.04635 174 129 32 13
245 Relax, you're already neutered. 1.3333 0.04262 174 124 42 8
246 I can only imagine how this looks from your perspective... 1.3333 0.04489 174 127 36 11
247 For Pete's sake, I'm a man, not a mouse. 1.3333 0.04563 174 128 34 12
248 Don't make me mix metaphors. 1.3333 0.04635 174 129 32 13
249 I assure you that I do not taste like chicken. 1.3333 0.04706 174 130 30 14
250 No, Honey! Go back to the V.R. program's SIZE drop-down and click on 100%, not 10%. Hurry! 1.3333 0.04706 174 130 30 14
251 Thirty years later, and still these damn flashbacks. 1.3333 0.04563 174 128 34 12
252 The thorn is out, but you're going to need stitches. 1.3333 0.04339 174 125 40 9
253 Serves me right, for wishing to know what cats dream about. 1.3333 0.04262 174 124 42 8
254 Before we begin, I would like to apologize for the whole bath thing. 1.3333 0.04635 174 129 32 13
255 I think there's a nursery rhyme in here somewhere. 1.3314 0.04289 172 123 41 8
256 I know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but a stitch in time does save nine. 1.3314 0.04521 172 126 35 11
257 I've got a threaded needle, and I'm not afraid to use it. 1.3314 0.04368 172 124 39 9
258 I feel like Roald Dahl would know what to do in my situation 1.3314 0.04445 172 125 37 10
259 You mis-heard me. I said cats are in a basket of ADORABLES. 1.3314 0.04741 172 129 29 14
260 Honey, I think I took the wrong pills this morning. 1.3314 0.04368 172 124 39 9
261 I have to clean your dirty litter, and you're the one who's pissed? 1.3314 0.04209 172 122 43 7
262 This pussy isn't afraid of a little prick! 1.3314 0.04952 172 132 23 17
263 Calm down. It's not catgut. 1.3314 0.04521 172 126 35 11
264 I know this is going to sound weird... but can you help me come up with a caption for what we're doing here? 1.3314 0.04669 172 128 31 13
265 Okay, I get it. You don't like chasing the laser pointer. 1.3314 0.04289 172 123 41 8
266 It IS catgut and I'm not afraid to use it! 1.3295 0.04788 173 131 27 15
267 They finally have a cat large enough to catch the rats in the streets of New York. 1.3275 0.04753 171 129 28 14
268 I don't know how you did this but remember, if it wasn't for me you'd be clawless and ball-less. 1.3275 0.04606 171 127 32 12
269 We've had mice for years, but NOW you're a hunter? 1.3275 0.04296 171 123 40 8
270 I can't sew your balls back on. They're gone. 1.3275 0.05034 171 133 20 18
271 Whoa...let's just hiss and make up. 1.3235 0.04616 170 127 31 12
272 Size does matter, doesn't it? 1.3235 0.04690 170 128 29 13
273 Size matters. 1.3235 0.04462 170 125 35 10
274 Please remember this will hurt me more then you. 1.3216 0.04812 171 131 25 15
275 Fine, get yourself another tailor. 1.3214 0.04413 168 123 36 9
276 You know what they say about curiosity 1.3214 0.04249 168 121 40 7
277 After a change in perspective, Harold had fond memories of a less complicated time with his pet rock. 1.3214 0.04874 168 129 24 15
278 Can you please spit up my wife? 1.3214 0.04249 168 121 40 7
279 you DO realize this is just your mental projection OF me, right? 1.3193 0.04443 166 122 35 9
280 So, this is what you've been planning--all those years just laying there, staring at me. 1.3174 0.04338 167 122 37 8
281 Mr. Stumpf, CEO of Wells Fargo, meet Senator Elizabeth Warren 1.3174 0.04736 167 127 27 13
282 Stay with me here. A stitch in times saves nine… A cat has nine lives… You’re not following this, are you? 1.3174 0.04421 167 123 35 9
283 Mr. Jingles, please try and understand... Mrs. Thumb was only trying to make you a sweater. Now please cough her back up. 1.3174 0.04502 167 124 33 10
284 Good. Let's try it again, but this time from the diaphragm. 1.3165 0.05007 158 122 22 14
285 The tables are turned. Now you sing that damn Meow Mix Song. 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
286 This is just a dream. This is just a dream. This is just.... 1.3152 0.04694 165 125 28 12
287 I promise. No more laser pointer. 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
288 Honey, did I take the wrong dosage of my medication again? 1.3152 0.04451 165 122 34 9
289 I should've run for the laser pointer instead. 1.3152 0.04848 165 127 24 14
290 I hope I wake up soon! 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
291 This is your brain on catnip. 1.3152 0.04999 165 129 20 16
292 Can you believe it, both of us are named Tom! 1.3152 0.04451 165 122 34 9
293 Now I'm beginning to wish I hadn't signed those nanoparticle research consent forms. 1.3152 0.04367 165 121 36 8
294 Relax. You're just on a bad catnip trip! 1.3152 0.04772 165 126 26 13
295 Wait a minute, will you? Having you neutered was the wife's idea. 1.3152 0.04614 165 124 30 11
296 I'm warning you...don't get curious. 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
297 So what do YOU think, "Darn that cat" means? 1.3152 0.04694 165 125 28 12
298 NOW you pay attention to me. 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
299 What kind of Genie are you? I said I wanted to thread the needle with an F14 Tomcat. Not a 14 year old tomcat! 1.3152 0.04999 165 129 20 16
300 Honest, your yarn ball is under the sofa... 1.3152 0.04451 165 122 34 9
301 Calm down, Princess, I said play, not spay. 1.3110 0.04623 164 124 29 11
302 Just put yourself in my position. 1.3110 0.04623 164 124 29 11
303 Would you feel better if we switched to wet food? 1.3110 0.04374 164 121 35 8
304 I'm a man, not a mouse. 1.3110 0.04704 164 125 27 12
305 That's Hollywood, kiddo. Great computer animation. Ridiculous storylines. 1.3110 0.04287 164 120 37 7
306 Catgut totally unacceptable; got it. 1.3110 0.04542 164 123 31 10
307 "I know what you're thinking: have I gone through eight lives, or only seven? 1.3110 0.04782 164 126 25 13
308 Just don't forget: I'm a man not a mouse. 1.3110 0.04542 164 123 31 10
309 Good news! We held a meeting, and we've decided we won't be neutering you after all. 1.3110 0.04623 164 124 29 11
310 It's just a sliver. Don't be such a big pussy. 1.3110 0.04623 164 124 29 11
311 I may be tiny, but I'm the one with opposable thumbs. 1.3110 0.04374 164 121 35 8
312 You got your wish, smarty; so who's going to operate the can opener so you can get fed? 1.3110 0.04374 164 121 35 8
313 You'd think with a kid named Tom Thumb, Mom would think twice before bringing home a new pet. 1.3110 0.04704 164 125 27 12
314 No; I don't use Cat Gut. 1.3110 0.04623 164 124 29 11
315 Honest, that whole spaying thing was your mom's idea. 1.3110 0.04623 164 124 29 11
316 This'll hurt me more than it will you. 1.3110 0.04936 164 128 21 15
317 Laser pointer trick isn’t so funny now little man, is it? 1.3110 0.04623 164 124 29 11
318 Much to the chagrin of his father, Tom Thumb ultimately dropped out of his veterinary medicine program and went on to pursue a career in the arts. 1.3110 0.04782 164 126 25 13
319 No, you are not a "fat cat." You are "plus size." 1.3110 0.04199 164 119 39 6
320 That's all you got? 'MEOW?' 1.3091 0.04599 165 125 29 11
321 Bob Barker's first day in hell. 1.3086 0.04574 162 122 30 10
322 Woof 1.3086 0.04657 162 123 28 11
323 No more needlepoint until you catch those mice. 1.3086 0.04898 162 126 22 14
324 Any chance you’d repay the favor that I didn’t have you declawed? 1.3086 0.04403 162 120 34 8
325 "I know it's going to hurt, but stop being such a pussy! 1.3086 0.04976 162 127 20 15
326 Whose nightmare is this? 1.3086 0.04574 162 122 30 10
327 Remember, I just took this OUT of your paw. 1.3086 0.04574 162 122 30 10
328 Everyone gets out alive. It's a Disney production. 1.3086 0.04819 162 125 24 13
329 Why couldn't you be this good at cornering mice? 1.3086 0.04134 162 117 40 5
330 Lets see if we can get another year out of this coat. 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
331 I use a silk thread, not catgut. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
332 Actually, I'm the scaredy cat. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
333 I'm just the taxidermist; it's the vet you should be mad at. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
334 I may be small, but the Rotweiler just came up behind you. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
335 Trust me, this video is going viral 1.3043 0.04042 161 116 41 4
336 I know you're really the pound of cheese I ate at 3 am...but just in case. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
337 Uh... woof, woof? 1.3043 0.04042 161 116 41 4
338 No more laser pointer. I promise. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
339 Just so you know, a stitch in time will save all nine of your lives. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
340 It's NOT a hairball...I KNOW you've got Alice, now cough her up. 1.3043 0.04749 161 124 25 12
341 You should see my dog. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
342 You're still getting dry food. 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
343 I'm tired of playing cat and mouse. 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
344 The giant cat dream tormented George every year during New York Fashion Week. 1.3043 0.04830 161 125 23 13
345 You look upset. I can help, I'm a shrink. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
346 Call me a pussy one more time, I dare you. 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
347 I'm sorry, but you need to floss. 1.3019 0.04785 159 123 24 12
348 Maybe we don't need to spay you after all? 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
349 Ok, I had you neutered. You scratched my teak coffee table. That's even in my book. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
350 I wish we had you de-clawed before the power plant blew up. 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
351 This is going to hurt me more than you 1.3019 0.05107 159 127 16 16
352 I may be small, but at least I'm not a pussy. 1.3019 0.04785 159 123 24 12
353 I won't use catgut! 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
354 I knew I should have had you declawed. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
355 Fine, I'll start buying the premium cat food! 1.3019 0.04162 159 116 38 5
356 I'll clean the litter box when I damn well please! 1.3019 0.04785 159 123 24 12
357 Yeah it's Cat Gut! 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
358 Remember this going to hurt me a lot more than you. 1.3019 0.04867 159 124 22 13
359 (Just a typical day for a member of America's shrinking middle class.) 1.3019 0.04349 159 118 34 7
360 I regret not getting you declawed when I had the chance. 1.3019 0.04349 159 118 34 7
361 Honey. Call the pet store, NOW! 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
362 En garde, fluffy. 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
363 Go ahead, make my day. 1.3019 0.04785 159 123 24 12
364 Look, I am not "The Brave little tailor", and you are NOT "Puss in Boots" 1.3019 0.04785 159 123 24 12
365 Look, you're not making this fitting any easier. 1.3013 0.04494 156 117 31 8
366 Got milk? 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
367 Look, basically we're both giant pussies. 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
368 Relax, this has already been blown way out of proportion. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
369 Oh, darn it! 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
370 Androcles was a such a liar... 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
371 Knit one, purr two. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
372 yes doctor, I think my dream is symbolic. But how does a little prick and an over powering puss have anything to do with my relationship with my wife' Oh yeah there was a string attached as well. 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
373 Stop playing with your food! 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
374 C'mon, you big pussy! 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
375 I think you're blowing this out of proportion. 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
376 Don't make me call my best friend. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
377 So, that's a 'no' on the pumpkin costume for Halloween this year? 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
378 This is exactly why I threw out your catnip stash in the first place. 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
379 Steve, be reasonable. Put the needle down. It was always going to end this way. 1.2949 0.04745 156 121 24 11
380 It's just a splinter. Don't be a pussy. 1.2949 0.04999 156 124 18 14
381 Don't make me get the knitting needles. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
382 In this final moment of clarity, Alice's tailor regretted several of his decisions. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
383 It'll hurt me more than it'll hurt you 1.2949 0.04745 156 121 24 11
384 I never thought I'd say no to pussy. 1.2949 0.04916 156 123 20 13
385 Well, you're not ignoring me anymore, so at least there's that. 1.2949 0.04089 156 114 38 4
386 We both know you're a pussycat, so stop the posturing and let me see the splinter. 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
387 This is the last time I eat Chinese food before I go to bed. 1.2903 0.04574 155 119 27 9
388 Don't make me go 'Hello Kitty' all over your ass. 1.2903 0.05011 155 124 17 14
389 I knew I should have paid more attention to that glowing green stuff in your litter box. 1.2903 0.04665 155 120 25 10
390 If you'd just stop fighting with me, we could easily turn this into a fable. 1.2903 0.04290 155 116 33 6
391 The night Dick’s recurrent dream about a big pussy got wilder. 1.2903 0.04927 155 123 19 13
392 Easy there fella... I still control the food! 1.2903 0.04191 155 115 35 5
393 You don't look anything like your craigslist photo. 1.2903 0.04665 155 120 25 10
394 Listen, would a mouse know how to sew? 1.2903 0.04191 155 115 35 5
395 I know the situation has changed a bit between us but you can't be still upset about the laser pointer. 1.2903 0.04841 155 122 21 12
396 I don't care how curious you were. I was dating that goldfish. 1.2903 0.05011 155 124 17 14
397 I know I'm small, but I'm the best darn cat tailor in the county. 1.2903 0.04481 155 118 29 8
398 I saw the movie, and I get away. 1.2903 0.04481 155 118 29 8
399 I know Androclese and you are no Androclese! 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
400 This is the last time I let my agent talk me into working below scale. 1.2903 0.04290 155 116 33 6
401 This is definitely going on YouTube. 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
402 This will go viral. 1.2903 0.04290 155 116 33 6
403 Am I dreaming, or are you? 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
404 *Not drawn to scale* 1.2903 0.04927 155 123 19 13
405 Ok, ok, I promise: no more science experiments and no more talk of neutering. 1.2876 0.04789 153 120 22 11
406 Bad Mittens! 1.2876 0.04606 153 118 26 9
407 It wasn't my idea to have you neutered. 1.2876 0.04789 153 120 22 11
408 I don't care how sweetly you say pussy, I know a little prick, when I see one! 1.2876 0.05052 153 123 16 14
409 Believe me, I really don't taste like chicken! 1.2876 0.04317 153 115 32 6
410 We talked about this before I took the potion; remember? 1.2876 0.04317 153 115 32 6
411 I'm gonna need a bigger needle! 1.2876 0.04317 153 115 32 6
412 Me? Ow! 1.2876 0.04878 153 121 20 12
413 No hard felines, OK? 1.2876 0.04606 153 118 26 9
414 It wasn't my idea to get you neutered. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
415 And here I thought Aunt Nancy was the one who would get eaten by her cats. 1.2829 0.04706 152 119 23 10
416 I told them this would happen if they took away our guns. 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
417 You're still a big pussy. 1.2829 0.04706 152 119 23 10
418 When I figure out how to take that 'large' pill, you are so declawed. 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
419 HONEY! You forgot to shrink the cat! 1.2829 0.04517 152 117 27 8
420 Where's a laser pointer when you really need one? 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
421 You've been feeding at Russia's Olympic training table? 1.2829 0.04706 152 119 23 10
422 Well, you're not a camel, but then again, I'm not a rich man. 1.2829 0.04798 152 120 21 11
423 Once you're trained, your going to be an internet sensation. You're gonna be huge! 1.2829 0.04420 152 116 29 7
424 Watch out, this is threaded! 1.2829 0.04320 152 115 31 6
425 On the other hand, have you ever seen a 3 inch talking mouse carrying a threaded needle? 1.2829 0.04320 152 115 31 6
426 Darn Kitty 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
427 Imagine the trouble you'll be in when I wake up. 1.2829 0.04517 152 117 27 8
428 Touché, Pussycat. 1.2829 0.04706 152 119 23 10
429 It's a play on words, stupid. "Darn cat!" 1.2829 0.04706 152 119 23 10
430 So you lost your mittens. No need for a hissing fit. 1.2829 0.04517 152 117 27 8
431 This is what we get for living near power lines! 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
432 Sure I'm domesticated, but don't push your luck. 1.2829 0.04218 152 114 33 5
433 Don't worry, I know a guy who got a camel through. 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
434 Just so you know, I wasn't the one who saran wrapped the litter box. 1.2829 0.04706 152 119 23 10
435 God, I thought you couldn't get any bossier. 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
436 If you can strike that pose every time, we're gonna be really big in Vegas. 1.2829 0.04218 152 114 33 5
437 Oh, so NOW you'll pay attention to me 1.2800 0.04741 150 118 22 10
438 Trust me - - fur is so last season. 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
439 I didn't declaw you and I fed you organic cat food, and this is the thanks I get? 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
440 Okay, I guess you do have the upper hand. 1.2800 0.04136 150 112 34 4
441 Gulliver arrives on the island of viral videos. 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
442 Put the needle down and nobody gets hurt 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
443 Sweetie, you're going to be a lot less angry when you see what happened to the dog. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
444 Janet, you won't believe what happened when I rubbed the thimble. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
445 Leave me alone and I promise no more teasing you with the laser pointer, deal? 1.2800 0.04243 150 113 32 5
446 I'm just spitballing here, but have you considered going vegan? 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
447 Honey, the cats out of the box again. 1.2800 0.04243 150 113 32 5
448 I'm here for my tongue, and I'm not leaving without it. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
449 Stop toying with me! 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
450 Figures. The mice told me you'd say that. 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
451 So, who's the little prick now? 1.2800 0.04741 150 118 22 10
452 Kids put down the shrink ray, NOW! 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
453 New house rule: You scratch it, you sew it. 1.2800 0.04243 150 113 32 5
454 If you can just settle down for two minutes, we'll both be YouTube celebrities. 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
455 Man, I wish I had Clifford back! 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
456 You're less scary than your litter box. 1.2800 0.03914 150 110 38 2
457 Yes I am sure, send the dog in. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
458 So we meet again, Mr. Bitsypookums. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
459 What was in that catnip? 1.2800 0.04835 150 119 20 11
460 But I don't want to play cat and mouse. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
461 Don't take it personally, I'm just needling you. 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
462 Don't bite the hand that feeds you! 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
463 I'm sorry, but from behind you resemble my pincushion. 1.2789 0.04806 147 116 21 10
464 Not clothing. I need boots 1.2789 0.04806 147 116 21 10
465 Gee, I hope the cat's in my dream and not the other way around. 1.2781 0.04322 151 115 30 6
466 You just couldn't be happy with a ball of yarn, could you?? 1.2781 0.04522 151 117 26 8
467 Relax, I just meant that you're a large cat. 1.2763 0.04496 152 118 26 8
468 Darn?! 1.2752 0.04936 149 120 17 12
469 Yes, I was wrong to take selfies of you after bath time and post them online. I'm sorry about your street creds... 1.2752 0.04136 149 112 33 4
470 I swear - Bob said they were normal mushrooms. 1.2752 0.04936 149 120 17 12
471 I'm an on-site button specialist, not a mouse. 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
472 When I wake up from this dream, I'm going to have you declawed! 1.2752 0.04748 149 118 21 10
473 Yes, I will address you as "The Mighty Mighty Roger, World's Most Powerful Supercat and Ruler of all Carpet and Furniture Dominions." Now will you calm down for a minute and let me back into the lab? 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
474 You want the mouse, second floor bedroom on the left. 1.2752 0.04349 149 114 29 6
475 I said frayed not spayed! 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
476 When I wake up, I think I should talk to my therapist about the symbolic psychosexual meaning of poking at a giant, angry kitty with an oversized needle. 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
477 Okay fine I will clean your litter box 1.2752 0.04748 149 118 21 10
478 Dam GMO's 1.2752 0.04349 149 114 29 6
479 When I wake up, either the cat needs to be let out or my wife is still mad at me. 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
480 Would it make any difference if you knew that I'm a Leo? 1.2752 0.04349 149 114 29 6
481 I may be no Tom Thumb, but you're no Puss in Boots. 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
482 You're going to be in big trouble when this shrinking potion wears off. 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
483 Who are you calling a pussy? 1.2752 0.04652 149 117 23 9
484 I'm sorry I made that remark about herding cats. 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
485 Expelliarmus 1.2740 0.04910 146 117 18 11
486 They were out of yarn. 1.2740 0.04714 146 115 22 9
487 The catnip was GMO. 1.2733 0.04720 150 119 21 10
488 I thought those mushrooms I foraged looked odd. 1.2721 0.04159 147 111 32 4
489 No wonder I'm a dog person. Cats always blow everything out of proportion. 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
490 Don't worry it's nylon thread, not cat's gut. 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
491 Taxidermy nightmare 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
492 After this piece, I'll be known as the world's greatest taxidermist, not just the tiniest. 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
493 Of course it's sharp, but that's not the point. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
494 Well, now you know what it feels like. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
495 Oh yeah? Well don't forget I've got opposable thumbs 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
496 Dang! That genie did warn me about wording my three wishes very carefully. 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
497 Back off, Mittens. I don't know where your stupid ball of yarn is. 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
498 When I previously called you the "devil cat from hell," I simply meant that you were a "beast of great suffering." 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
499 If you were Lassie, or even just any dog, I'd be getting the help I need by now. 1.2721 0.04784 147 117 20 10
500 I assure you it's silk thread not cat gut. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
501 Don't bring a pin to a claw fight. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
502 Yes. I expect you to fix the trousers you ripped. 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
503 That's it Gizmo, just hold that pose and tomorrow we'll be all over Facebook. 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
504 Remember that a stitch in time saves nine lives! 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
505 OK, I'm ready. But promise me you will never lose your mittens again. 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
506 Breath mint? 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
507 Don't hiss at me! I wasn't the one who neutered you! 1.2721 0.04784 147 117 20 10
508 Stop pawing me or I'll needle you. 1.2721 0.04880 147 118 18 11
509 No, a "stitch in time saves NINE" DOES NOT refer to cat lives!" Get over it! 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
510 Will a stitch in time take nine? 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
511 This will be so cute on youtube. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
512 I was just measuring your inseam. 1.2714 0.05154 140 114 14 12
513 So this is what the brown acid I got at Woodstock was all about. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
514 You got to ask yourself one question... am I feline lucky? 1.2703 0.04755 148 118 20 10
515 Sorry, I'm not a cat person, I'm just a little prick. 1.2671 0.04888 146 118 17 11
516 No one is going to believe this yarn. 1.2671 0.04269 146 112 29 5
517 Stop, or i'll sew! 1.2671 0.04589 146 115 23 8
518 Honey, call the doctor... it's happened again. 1.2671 0.04589 146 115 23 8
519 No owner - no catnip. Remember that! 1.2671 0.04485 146 114 25 7
520 I wish now I would have gone the other way on the declawing and neutering decision. 1.2671 0.04378 146 113 27 6
521 You're not you when your hungry. 1.2671 0.04485 146 114 25 7
522 I love your videos. 1.2671 0.04691 146 116 21 9
523 Perhaps you could just *tell* me your boot size. 1.2671 0.04589 146 115 23 8
524 Calico is so yesterday, why don't we go with a nice slimming tabby look? 1.2671 0.04691 146 116 21 9
525 A stitch in time could save all nine. 1.2671 0.04691 146 116 21 9
526 I only said that I needed a yard of calico. 1.2671 0.04485 146 114 25 7
527 Cool it, Taffy -- it's just me. Took the wrong blue pill again. 1.2671 0.04378 146 113 27 6
528 What Would Jerry Do? 1.2671 0.04589 146 115 23 8
529 Don't be such a big pussy...this is not going to hurt. 1.2671 0.04691 146 116 21 9
530 Man. Not mouse! Man. 1.2671 0.04691 146 116 21 9
531 Tiny hands, big prick! 1.2671 0.04888 146 118 17 11
532 Listen Puss, if you want boots, this is how we start. 1.2671 0.04378 146 113 27 6
533 Suddenly, this video doesn’t seem so damn cute and funny anymore. 1.2671 0.04269 146 112 29 5
534 Say it isn't sew. 1.2671 0.04269 146 112 29 5
535 Silly boy. You should have taken the red pill. 1.2671 0.04485 146 114 25 7
536 This will probably hurt me more than you. 1.2671 0.04790 146 117 19 10
537 You may have the upper paw now, but guess who's not getting his breakfast when I wake up. 1.2671 0.04589 146 115 23 8
538 What do you mean, I look like a mouse? 1.2653 0.04561 147 116 23 8
539 You may get nine, but I only get one, so let's play carefully now, Ok? 1.2653 0.04561 147 116 23 8
540 But think of all the hits a video of this would get on YouTube! 1.2653 0.04244 147 113 29 5
541 OK, forget the pants...just a nice dinner jacket... 1.2653 0.04662 147 117 21 9
542 Honey, you're not you when you're hungry. You should eat a snickers. 1.2639 0.04725 144 115 20 9
543 No, seriously, we haven't used cat gut for years now. 1.2639 0.04294 144 111 28 5
544 I promise to never complain about your butt in my face again. 1.2639 0.04725 144 115 20 9
545 You told the genie, "Diminish my husband, show me nice threads and wrap me in fur." 1.2639 0.04926 144 117 16 11
546 "Last time I date a 'cat lady'". 1.2639 0.04406 144 112 26 6
547 You see, opposable thumbs still beat claws 1.2639 0.04515 144 113 24 7
548 Scratch the furniture! Scratch the furniture! 1.2639 0.04725 144 115 20 9
549 Maybe it will heal without stitches 1.2639 0.04294 144 111 28 5
550 We're going to need a bigger spool. 1.2639 0.04406 144 112 26 6
551 I'm in sew much trouble. 1.2639 0.04621 144 114 22 8
552 Now who's the fuzzy snugglekins? 1.2639 0.04406 144 112 26 6
553 "Me ow?" You ow. 1.2639 0.04827 144 116 18 10
554 Feeling frisky, punk? 1.2639 0.04621 144 114 22 8
555 I promise you it's not catgut! 1.2639 0.04515 144 113 24 7
556 Ibricadibra? No, Urbicadurba? Nuts! What’s my password? 1.2639 0.04294 144 111 28 5
557 I'm sorry I called them "canine teeth." They still need cleaning. 1.2639 0.04621 144 114 22 8
558 It's only fair to tell you that the pin is mightier than the claw. 1.2639 0.04621 144 114 22 8
559 A stich in time saves 9. You are on your 8th life. Think about it. 1.2635 0.04431 148 116 25 7
560 You know this is catgut suture, don't you? 1.2628 0.04778 137 109 20 8
561 FYI, Your litterbox does not clean itself. 1.2628 0.04778 137 109 20 8
562 Back off or I'll put the Ow in your meow. 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
563 I'm warning you. This is a dirty needle. 1.2587 0.04625 143 114 21 8
564 The "naked without my homework" dream is scarier than this one. 1.2587 0.04406 143 112 25 6
565 Now, let's talk about "you" cleaning the litter box! 1.2587 0.04293 143 111 27 5
566 Oh, how the tabbies have turned. 1.2587 0.04293 143 111 27 5
567 I will never lace marijuana with catnip again! 1.2587 0.04833 143 116 17 10
568 Why sew catty? 1.2587 0.04625 143 114 21 8
569 Don't worry, I'm the tailor you sent for, not a vet. 1.2587 0.04517 143 113 23 7
570 Schrödinger will be happy to know his cat is definitely alive! 1.2587 0.04730 143 115 19 9
571 You won't be getting out of the bag on my watch again. 1.2587 0.04517 143 113 23 7
572 I opened the liquor cabinet and one of the bottles said Drink Me, so back off! 1.2587 0.04517 143 113 23 7
573 What was I thinking when I named you Gulliver? 1.2587 0.04406 143 112 25 6
574 I have to stop eating herring before bed. 1.2587 0.04625 143 114 21 8
575 Ok, but what if I told you I could make you two suits for the same price? 1.2587 0.04406 143 112 25 6
576 In retrospect, the laser pointer gag was uncalled for. 1.2587 0.04293 143 111 27 5
577 All I said was, 'Cat got your tongue?'. 1.2587 0.05032 143 118 13 12
578 So, punk, are you feeling lucky? 1.2587 0.04517 143 113 23 7
579 I hate cat cartoons. 1.2587 0.04833 143 116 17 10
580 Hiss all you want. I'm the incredible shrinking man and the star and you're just an uncredited extra. 1.2587 0.04730 143 115 19 9
581 Ever since he took up sewing, Ted felt small. 1.2587 0.04406 143 112 25 6
582 It's not my worst nightmare-but it's close. 1.2587 0.04517 143 113 23 7
583 Something tells me that after I give you your stitches, I'll need a few myself. 1.2587 0.04517 143 113 23 7
584 Please raise your right paw and repeat after me, I (state your name) do solemnly swear not to harm the little guy. 1.2569 0.04379 144 113 25 6
585 'A stitch in time saves nine.' Where do you want it? 1.2569 0.04267 144 112 27 5
586 Me ow? No--You ow! 1.2569 0.04267 144 112 27 5
587 I certainly hope I wake up soon. 1.2558 0.04956 129 104 17 8
588 I'm just trying to get the splinter out. 1.2553 0.04764 141 114 18 9
589 You're missing the point. 1.2553 0.04657 141 113 20 8
590 I’ll show YOU a little prick, ya big pussy. 1.2553 0.04764 141 114 18 9
591 Whoa...If that's the way you feel, you can neuter yourself. 1.2553 0.04199 141 109 28 4
592 Back away! I had to go to ridiculous lengths to thread this thing! 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
593 Please hold still. Remember "A stitch in time will save your nine"! 1.2553 0.04199 141 109 28 4
594 Okay, okay, I'll stop trying to needle you. 1.2553 0.04764 141 114 18 9
595 You go to war with the weapons you have. 1.2553 0.04547 141 112 22 7
596 You see? How would you like it if I scratched you? 1.2553 0.04199 141 109 28 4
597 Ah, my little human. I see you brought a needle to a claw fight! 1.2553 0.04318 141 110 26 5
598 At least this will make for a good yarn! 1.2553 0.04077 141 108 30 3
599 Your owners said you needed a shrink. 1.2553 0.04199 141 109 28 4
600 Honestly, I'm a tailor not a vet. 1.2553 0.04077 141 108 30 3
601 C'mon ya big pussy, hold still and I'll get that splinter out. 1.2553 0.04657 141 113 20 8
602 I've got your tongue and I need to sew it back on. 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
603 Perspective. It's all a matter of perspective. 1.2553 0.04318 141 110 26 5
604 Seriously, our custom-made boots will make you legendary. 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
605 But a stitch in time could save all nine, big guy. 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
606 All right, calm down! You know how long it takes me to drag out a bag of kibble! 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
607 I told you, my name is Thumb. I bought this house from the Mouse family in a short sale. 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
608 How was I supposed to know it was catgut? 1.2553 0.04547 141 112 22 7
609 I am *not* looking forward to cleaning your litter box. 1.2553 0.04657 141 113 20 8
610 Prick on somebody your own size, Gulliver. 1.2553 0.04764 141 114 18 9
611 I told you to stop needling me! 1.2535 0.04518 142 113 22 7
612 You see, if I jab myself and don't wake up, I'm basically out of options here. 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
613 Just so we're clear. Cats are notoriously ungrateful. 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
614 Again?! That's it, I have got to go easy on the Ambien. 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
615 I really regret trying to become Ant Man right now. 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
616 All they told me was you needed boots repaired. 1.2518 0.04096 139 107 29 3
617 I need to tag you in case you get lost 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
618 I said tailor, not neuter. 1.2518 0.04690 139 112 19 8
619 I'm gonna taste like chicken, ya know, so why not just go eat a chicken? 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
620 Don't be a pussy. 1.2518 0.04800 139 113 17 9
621 Did I say six? Of course you're a size two. 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
622 Spay...I mean STAY! 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
623 I should've insisted on declawing 1.2518 0.04690 139 112 19 8
624 I must have pissed off the cartoonist... 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
625 Say hello to my little friend. 1.2518 0.04690 139 112 19 8
626 I heard you lost your mittens, I'm just here to help. 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
627 Hah... you should have killed me instead of dropping me on the porch. 1.2518 0.04800 139 113 17 9
628 Sometimes I can be a little prick. 1.2518 0.04800 139 113 17 9
629 I came for my tongue. . . . 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
630 I fought for your balls, Sparkles. 1.2518 0.04222 139 108 27 4
631 Yeah, well I can become feral too! 1.2518 0.04222 139 108 27 4
632 Try as I might, I can think of nothing witty to say about being miniaturized and threatened by a giant house cat and having nothing to defend myself with but a damned needle and thread 1.2518 0.04690 139 112 19 8
633 No, I said I luuuv cats. I adore cats. I wish I could marry a cat. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
634 Suffering years of domestic cat abuse left Dave feeling small and powerless. Today he takes his power back. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
635 No way am I going to clean your litter box. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
636 Who are you calling a pussy now? 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
637 Remember, a stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
638 Don't underestimate me. I can be a real prick. 1.2464 0.04804 138 113 16 9
639 I keep telling you, I can't operate a can opener that is bigger than I am - eat the dry stuff! 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
640 I can't believe you've never had your whiskers threaded! 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
641 Don't eat me and I'll make sure you're in the sequel. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
642 Quit toying with me. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
643 I'm not dropping the needle until you stop throwing a hissy fit. 1.2464 0.04692 138 112 18 8
644 You were more fun when you were smaller and played with yarn! 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
645 I seem to remember a different attitude when YOU were the small one. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
646 Don't thread on me. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
647 I'm tired of always being the little prick in this relationship. 1.2464 0.04692 138 112 18 8
648 Read my lips. I am a man, not a mouse. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
649 Tell Mr. Gulliver that if he makes water on our village again, you’ll both be deported. 1.2464 0.04692 138 112 18 8
650 needle and threat 1.2464 0.05019 138 115 12 11
651 When I wake up, believe me, you're gonna get it! 1.2464 0.04692 138 112 18 8
652 I think you're over reacting. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
653 A stitch in time saves nine, you know ! 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
654 They don't call me the little prick for nothing! 1.2464 0.04804 138 113 16 9
655 Now who's talking about "just a little prick"? 1.2464 0.04804 138 113 16 9
656 No, listening to the "drink me" sign was mistake #2, #1 was not having you declawed. 1.2464 0.04692 138 112 18 8
657 Sit, human 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
658 Oh, don't be such a big scaredy cat! 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
659 It's not catgut, it's cotton. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
660 Look, YOU may be indifferent to the fact that some life forms only have ONE life, but it's pretty meaningful to me, so there's no way I'm putting down the needle, Max! 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
661 I guess I should have read the fine print before taking that little blue pill. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
662 Okay. I'll make you a "Bernie for President" sweater if it makes you happy. 1.2464 0.04692 138 112 18 8
663 If I make this stitch in time, we'll save all your lives. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
664 As Yogi Berra once said, "There's more than one way to stitch a cat. 1.2446 0.04190 139 109 26 4
665 Some things have changed, Mittens, but some have not. You are still going to wear a Halloween costume this year. 1.2426 0.04839 136 112 15 9
666 One more step and I bark. 1.2426 0.04366 136 108 23 5
667 Darn you cat! 1.2426 0.04239 136 107 25 4
668 Wait! We haven't discussed the clawback clause... 1.2426 0.04725 136 111 17 8
669 Darn that cat 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
670 How could I know the catnip was cut with parsley? 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
671 Okay, it's out. Now just remember the story about a lion, a thorn, and a Roman slave. 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
672 Well, if you think playing 'thorn in the lion's paw' is a good trust building exercise, I guess we'll try it. 1.2426 0.04366 136 108 23 5
673 If you just let me take a stitch right now, I can save all your lives. 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
674 Remember a stitch in time saves all nine. 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
675 I'm willing to admit I've been unreasonable. 1.2426 0.03974 136 105 29 2
676 Back off or curiosity may just get the best of you! 1.2426 0.04366 136 108 23 5
677 I hired you to be a mouser! Do not go beyond your job description! 1.2426 0.04366 136 108 23 5
678 Touché, Mr. Nibbles -- you've certainly turned the tables with your shrink-ray -- but did you stop to consider who would open your tins of meat from now on? 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
679 Please understand, after I put in you in the box I had no idea if you were alive or dead. 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
680 Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior? 1.2426 0.04725 136 111 17 8
681 Downsizing has its drawbacks. 1.2426 0.04109 136 106 27 3
682 This is the last time I try lucid dreaming during a catnap. 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
683 So this is your fantasy while you're batting my things around? 1.2426 0.04725 136 111 17 8
684 After hunting big cats on 4 continents, Felix was finally able to try it at home. 1.2426 0.04725 136 111 17 8
685 I told you it was sharp. You never listen. 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
686 I guess this is as close as I'll get to being a lion tamer. 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
687 I finally understand ancient Egypt. 1.2426 0.04366 136 108 23 5
688 Lets hope the pin is mightier than the claw. 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
689 A stitch in time, saves 9 lives. 1.2426 0.04366 136 108 23 5
690 I’m just hanging’ by a thread here, what’s up with you? 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
691 OK you win,I'll clean your litter box 1.2426 0.03974 136 105 29 2
692 Look my wife is sorely mistaken "I'm a man not a mouse!" 1.2426 0.04725 136 111 17 8
693 This type of weird dream means nothing, okay? 1.2426 0.04366 136 108 23 5
694 Honey, we're going to need a bigger needle! 1.2426 0.04366 136 108 23 5
695 Look, Fella, this is MY spool! Go find yourself something else to play with. 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
696 Mr. Bojangles' catnip withdrawals were legendary. 1.2426 0.04839 136 112 15 9
697 They're all so cute on the Internet. 1.2426 0.04366 136 108 23 5
698 Patches, it's the catnip, it's always the catnip...I'm backing away now, Patches, slowly...very...slowly... 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
699 Stitch in time saves nine lives, Mr Snuggles. 1.2409 0.04212 137 108 25 4
700 There! Now do you see my point? 1.2409 0.04459 137 110 21 6
701 She calls you Fluffy? Nonsense! In my book you're Tiger! 1.2409 0.04337 137 109 23 5
702 Are you kitten me? This is sew unfair. 1.2409 0.04337 137 109 23 5
703 Oh Martha, did you let the cat out of the bag? 1.2409 0.04212 137 108 25 4
704 OK you can make the yarn ball. 1.2409 0.04459 137 110 21 6
705 Who knew taxidermy would ever get this big? 1.2381 0.04280 126 99 24 3
706 I'm just not a cat person. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
707 Please believe me, I'm NOT a dog person! 1.2370 0.04100 135 106 26 3
708 The synthetic catnip has me feeling odd as well. 1.2370 0.04100 135 106 26 3
709 I'm the smallest taxidermist in the world, but my work is the greatest! 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
710 You're lucky I"m didn't bring out the laser pointer. 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
711 Honey, I told you I'm not a cat person. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
712 C'mon now, show me that famous Cheshire Cat grin! 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
713 Don't act so surprised. It's not like I didn't tell you it was sharp. 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
714 I took care of Rover and I can take of you! 1.2370 0.04842 135 112 14 9
715 The revenge of Schrödinger's cat! 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
716 I should have never agreed to make a fashion line for the biggest catwalk event of the season. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
717 And with that my Trojan cat is complete and come sundown all of Lilliput shall know my name and sweet revenge will be mine at last. 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
718 You killed my father, prepare to die. 1.2370 0.04842 135 112 14 9
719 I'm the best pound-per-pound taxidermist in town. 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
720 Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur... 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
721 He probably smells my dog on me. 1.2370 0.04727 135 111 16 8
722 Needle me one more time and you're dead meat. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
723 Nice kitty. 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
724 I think I'm in the wrong dream 1.2370 0.03963 135 105 28 2
725 Do you prefer a general anesthetic or a local? 1.2370 0.04362 135 108 22 5
726 Sew vindictive. 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
727 Stay back or I'll ruche. 1.2370 0.04362 135 108 22 5
728 Who's a ferocious tabby cat? You are ... YOU are... ! 1.2370 0.04362 135 108 22 5
729 I’ll put down the needle if you promise not to aim another hairball at me. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
730 Ok I get it - the dead bird gifts were under appreciated and no I do not know how hard it is to catch a bird. 1.2370 0.04362 135 108 22 5
731 I'll have your pajamas mended by Friday. 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
732 Mr. Whiskers, trust me, you got a hold of some bad cat nip is all. Drink some warm milk it will bring you down. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
733 Okay Merlin, I believe you. 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
734 No, ‘catastrophic’ is what happened to me. 1.2353 0.04577 136 111 18 7
735 Hiss all you like; you're not getting your cell phone back until you mend those curtains. 1.2353 0.04577 136 111 18 7
736 You can treat me like a boy toy, but clean your own d*** litter box!!! 1.2353 0.04457 136 110 20 6
737 Okay, no more sweaters, I promise! 1.2331 0.04118 133 105 25 3
738 I hate when you hallucinate on your catnip 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
739 why yes, I do feel threatened. 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
740 Okay, I forgot the milk. So sew me! 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
741 And I've got eight more where this comes from. 1.2331 0.04878 133 111 13 9
742 You’re not the only one who’s domesticated. 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
743 Fortunately, the dog is still on my side. 1.2331 0.04254 133 106 23 4
744 Spare me and I'll teach you to embroider. 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
745 But I can still open cans. 1.2331 0.04878 133 111 13 9
746 Don't take it so serious, I'm just needling you a bit. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
747 Who's the pet now? 1.2331 0.04254 133 106 23 4
748 Honest-I've changed my mind about your operation! 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
749 For the last time, stop needling me! 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
750 Yes, I am a little prick! 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
751 You looked more harmless in the YouTube videos. 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
752 Wait 'til the neighbor's dog sees you! 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
753 I said scoop your own litter! 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
754 Actually I had nothing to do with the decision to neuter you! 1.2331 0.04254 133 106 23 4
755 Have you had a tetanus shot? 1.2331 0.04118 133 105 25 3
756 I can save you all nine. 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
757 Well I must be going... tell Alice the cake was delicious! 1.2331 0.03977 133 104 27 2
758 You need a few alterations before your Cats audition. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
759 It's either me or the vet, and her needle is way bigger. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
760 But they made a whole series out of a big, red dog. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
761 ok! I will buy canned food next time!" 1.2331 0.04254 133 106 23 4
762 Let's call it "Cutest Cat Videos: The Payback." 1.2331 0.04118 133 105 25 3
763 I know you switched my enhancement pills. 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
764 It was just a little catnip. You're getting this all out of proportion. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
765 Cool it, it's either this, or you go down to eight lives! 1.2331 0.04760 133 110 15 8
766 Okay, remember, the safe word is, 'cross-stitch'. 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
767 Now listen you have 9 lives and I have a stitch in time saves 9 so let's just call it quits PLEASE. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
768 Perhaps I should have been more specific when I told that genie I wanted to lose weight. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
769 If you want a costume to wear to Cat Con, you'll have to sit still for the fitting. 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
770 Honey, how do you say, 'I'm sorry I didn't change your Litter Box' in Cat? 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
771 Taxidermy in Lilliputia 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
772 Now that the needles out of your paw, will you use the thimble? 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
773 Yo, Ralph , I've finished the taxidermy on Fluffy! 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
774 Remind me to lock you up before I shrink myself next time. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
775 Don't be such a fraidy cat. I'm just going to harpoon your hair ball and then yank it out. 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
776 I'm not food, I'm entertainment! 1.2331 0.04118 133 105 25 3
777 If I ever get out of this you'll never get another bite of premium cat food! 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
778 I'm never going to finish these kitten mittens if you don't cooperate. 1.2331 0.04118 133 105 25 3
779 You're nothing but a giant pussy. 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
780 I wish I'd had you declawed. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
781 Patience my feline friend--Christmas sweaters take time. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
782 Day 7 in the land of the giants. Tim's deliberate attempt to create a 'lion and the thorn' friendship went horribly wrong. 1.2326 0.04861 129 107 14 8
783 Well, this is a catastrophe. 1.2326 0.04193 129 102 24 3
784 Patches, we'll harpoon the yarn ball and have it out from under the fridge in no time. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
785 ...and where's Thumbelina!? 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
786 I've got your nine lives right here, pal. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
787 Eventually, I’m going to have to use your litter box. 1.2273 0.04246 132 106 22 4
788 It's not the size of the Bob in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the Bob. 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
789 The crack about you being the runt of the litter still burns doesn't it? 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
790 I never should have fed you human-shaped treats! 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
791 Wow! What did you take last night? 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
792 I thought you liked posing for those photos! 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
793 Don't give me that "nice kitty" crap! 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
794 Trust me, a stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.2273 0.04637 132 109 16 7
795 Maybe I should've worn the thimble. 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
796 Honey! I shrunk myself again! 1.2273 0.04637 132 109 16 7
797 No, no, no. I'm not a dog person. 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
798 Dream Caused by the Meow of a Cat a Second Before Awakening. 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
799 Wait, Puss, I'll have your boots ready tomorrow. 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
800 Scott was dismayed to learn that he underestimated the amount of anesthetic required to finish Whisker’s neutering. 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
801 Look, I've been shrinking for weeks, and you're not helping at all. 1.2273 0.04246 132 106 22 4
802 What we have here is a failure to communicate 1.2273 0.04246 132 106 22 4
803 You need a few stitches, stop being such a big pussy. 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
804 A stitch in time saves nine and you are on eight! 1.2273 0.04637 132 109 16 7
805 I'm telling you I have it on record that a stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
806 Back off! It's just the catnip talking. 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
807 We could change the game to, Pin the Tail on the Donkey. 1.2273 0.03965 132 104 26 2
808 Don't be such a pussy 1.2273 0.04760 132 110 14 8
809 This is the last time I swipe one of Alice's pills! 1.2273 0.04108 132 105 24 3
810 Marge? I have a little problem here. 1.2273 0.04246 132 106 22 4
811 It's the same dream, Dr. Brown, but this time when I pop the ballon it turns into my ex wife's cat. 1.2273 0.04108 132 105 24 3
812 OK! OK! I'll get you a ball of yarn. 1.2266 0.04182 128 102 23 3
813 I'm Tom: Are you Jerry? 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
814 But remember, a stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.2256 0.04846 133 112 12 9
815 I see you followed the thread. 1.2256 0.03939 133 105 26 2
816 How many lives do you have left? 1.2256 0.04351 133 108 20 5
817 No---You can't have any more Human Growth Hormone! 1.2256 0.04727 133 111 14 8
818 Pause! 1.2256 0.04605 133 110 16 7
819 Schrödinger said "dead or alive", so take your pick. 1.2256 0.04218 133 107 22 4
820 I said new litter not neuter! 1.2256 0.04727 133 111 14 8
821 The label said the mushroom would make me tall! 1.2256 0.04727 133 111 14 8
822 This had better be a nightmare! 1.2256 0.04480 133 109 18 6
823 I should probably stop drinking before bed. 1.2256 0.04218 133 107 22 4
824 I see the point, but I think you need to go back and look at the entire thread. 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
825 The camel wasn't nearly as fussy! 1.2231 0.04538 130 107 17 6
826 Since when is 'Pussy' not a term of endearment? 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
827 Can we just call it a draw? 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
828 It's the only way I can get the splinter out... 1.2231 0.03977 130 103 25 2
829 I think I can get that hairball out for you 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
830 Now, what size do you want those mittens? 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
831 Relax ! It wasn't me who named you Ivanka. 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
832 You simply aren't getting my point! 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
833 Cinderella said this would go differently. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
834 I come in peace. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
835 I can't make you a new yarn-ball if you insist on micro-managing everything. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
836 There's no way I'm changing your litter box right now. 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
837 C'mon, big guy; one more stitch and you're "fixed." 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
838 Alright, Patches, just listen. Everything is going to be fine. You're very high right now. You will probably be that way for about five more hours. Try taking some hairball medicine. If you have some milk, go ahead and drink it. 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
839 No, you're gonna have to change your own litter now. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
840 HONEY---on second thought, you actually look thin in that dress. NOW PLEASE UNSHRINK ME! 1.2231 0.04793 130 109 13 8
841 Stand down! Gulliver will be right back. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
842 We're going to have to do something for that hairball! 1.2231 0.04793 130 109 13 8
843 I'm not needling you! If you don't back off, I'll sew you who's boss! 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
844 Can you please clarify what you mean by "domesticated"? 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
845 Relax. This is just a dry run before you're neutered. 1.2231 0.04538 130 107 17 6
846 Believe me, threading the needle is the hardest part. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
847 It is my duty to ensure you do not get out of the bag again. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
848 When I wake up there will be a reckoning! 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
849 Paging Dr. Freud. 1.2231 0.04538 130 107 17 6
850 Another visual metaphor for my marriage. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
851 It's not catgut! 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
852 This is exactly why I should have had you de-clawed. 1.2231 0.04538 130 107 17 6
853 I don't care how big you are, Bob Barker says I've got to spay you. 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
854 You've had your fun, Merlin. Now switch me back! 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
855 I hope those cat obedience lessons were worth it. 1.2231 0.04538 130 107 17 6
856 I told you, you can have the spool when I'm done with it! 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
857 Now the truth comes out, Snowball. It was never loving, it was always transactional for you. 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
858 I'm not just a play thing, you know..... 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
859 OK! I promise - no more baths. 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
860 What do you mean you're not afraid of a little prick? 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
861 Size isn't everything! 1.2231 0.03977 130 103 25 2
862 I'll sew you! 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
863 Fine. But next Halloween, you're going as "The Incredible Shrinking Cat." 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
864 It's not how big it is, it's what I do with it. 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
865 Stop being a pussycat, this won't hurt. 1.2231 0.04793 130 109 13 8
866 Since you're opposed to the idea, I'm willing to drop it. 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
867 Not so amusing when the table's turned, is it? 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
868 I know I said I would stop needling you, but we've exhausted all other options. 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
869 I'm really more of a 'dog person' 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
870 And here, students, the photographer achieved the illusion of a small man talking to a giant cat by having him hold a fishing pole and stand far away 1.2231 0.04538 130 107 17 6
871 One of us left rehab a tad too soon. 1.2231 0.03977 130 103 25 2
872 I knew we shouldn't have named you Abracadabra! 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
873 Etui, Brute? 1.2231 0.04793 130 109 13 8
874 I take you have read Gulliver's Travels. 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
875 I'm a tailor. I know how to use this thing. 1.2231 0.03977 130 103 25 2
876 Be calm, I'm just needling you. 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
877 Alright...alright... Next time thread your own damned needle! 1.2231 0.03825 130 102 27 1
878 Awright, I'll quit needling you, ya big pussy. 1.2231 0.04538 130 107 17 6
879 I thought you were different, but you're like all the other fat cats. Just trying to intimidate the little guy. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
880 Aaand, action! 1.2214 0.04097 131 105 23 3
881 En garde! 1.2214 0.04238 131 106 21 4
882 Don't you want the splinter out? 1.2214 0.04635 131 109 15 7
883 Where's the moderator? 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
884 But I can't reach your treats jar any more. 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
885 Don't worry, I am not going to neuter you 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
886 It was my ball of yarn first 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
887 that's some thorn you had stuck in your paw 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
888 Uhm ... Arf? ... Woof Woof? ... Grrrrr? ... 1.2188 0.04953 128 109 10 9
889 I know you are angry, but surely you can appreciate the irony of me having got YOUR tongue. 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
890 I might need a bigger bag of catnip. 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
891 I'm a man not a mouse! I refuse to play dead. 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
892 If I thread your claws now you can repair the sofa as you go. 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
893 Is that all you got? 1.2188 0.04698 128 107 14 7
894 A stitch can save nine lives. 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
895 Aren't you happy that we micro surgeons don't use catgut any more? 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
896 Good kitty! 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
897 You know this is going to go viral, don't you? 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
898 Be careful what you wish for! 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
899 Wow! Things are really different in Canada. 1.2188 0.04698 128 107 14 7
900 I think you can see my point. 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
901 You should see what I did with the Gingham Dog. 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
902 You are going to reap what you sew 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
903 I told you cat gut is not made from cat guts! 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
904 You're big enough to fix your own pajamas 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
905 Suddenly Tom realized ITT Tech really didn't teach him the skills necessary for this job. 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
906 Remember where your catnip comes from. 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
907 I'll get it. Looks like a piece of tuna. 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
908 Trump-size hands don't fail me now. 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
909 If you don't hold still I'll never finish 1.2188 0.03990 128 102 24 2
910 A stitch in time saves nine :: A stitch in thine saves mine 1.2188 0.04698 128 107 14 7
911 Claritin has had unexpected side effects for me. 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
912 Louise, come out now. You're taking this Halloween thing too far. 1.2188 0.04827 128 108 12 8
913 Just wait until the spell wears off. 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
914 Really? You're sitting during the national anthem? 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
915 But I don't have a ball of yarn! 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
916 Do you think I'm a man or a mouse? 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
917 MAN ! Not a mouse, not a mouse..... good kitty, goooood kitty. 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
918 If I'm dreaming, I'd like to wake up now! 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
919 Are you angry about the castration? 1.2188 0.03990 128 102 24 2
920 I see your claw, and raise you a needle. 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
921 I knew I should have gotten a dog. 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
922 How about truce now and I'll pull a thorn out of your paw at some later date? 1.2188 0.03990 128 102 24 2
923 Um...meow? 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
924 This twine ain't big enough for the both of us. 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
925 I'm looking for a great, white cat. 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
926 Never underestimate the commitment of a Lilliputian taxidermist! 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
927 where are my internet royalties little man! 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
928 You need to look cute this time if you want to get views on YouTube. 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
929 Remember! I saved you from the pound. 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
930 I'll save nine my way. 1.2177 0.03893 124 98 25 1
931 what's that, a needle and threat? 1.2171 0.04533 129 107 16 6
932 You usually like it when I play with the thread. 1.2171 0.04112 129 104 22 3
933 And you believed Washington, when they told you, 'You'll be able to keep your present vet."? 1.2171 0.04257 129 105 20 4
934 Come on,make my day 1.2160 0.04187 125 101 21 3
935 Trust me, we only use man made fur. 1.2143 0.04452 126 104 17 5
936 Well, meow to you too. 1.2143 0.04452 126 104 17 5
937 What's with the attitude? 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
938 When did I get a cat? 1.2126 0.04276 127 104 19 4
939 Sew, we meet again! 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
940 Have you seen the DARN cat? 1.2126 0.04825 127 108 11 8
941 Touch that cardigan again, I dare you. 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
942 '' IT'S NOT CAT GUT '' ! 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
943 Talk to the paw; I don't want to be neutered! 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
944 Darn, cat. 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
945 Look who's the scaredy - cat now 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
946 You should've seen the hay. 1.2126 0.04276 127 104 19 4
947 Don't make me get the crinkle ball. 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
948 There's no good caption for this cartoon, Felix! 1.2126 0.04825 127 108 11 8
949 And they said, I was too small to be a taxidermist ! 1.2126 0.04276 127 104 19 4
950 I'm not afraid of you, ya big pussy. 1.2126 0.04694 127 107 13 7
951 My shrink warned me about you. 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
952 Stop being sew sensitive. 1.2126 0.04276 127 104 19 4
953 Don't worry, it's cotton thread, not cat gut. 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
954 You obviously don't agree with my point. 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
955 I am telling you the truth, I don't have any shoelaces! 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
956 What size sweater? 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
957 Put down your weapon and nobody gets hurt. 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
958 Suddenly, I realize naming you 'Fluffy' may have been a misnomer. 1.2080 0.03983 125 101 22 2
959 You picked up a splinter. Now we're not going to hurt each other, are we? 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
960 Hold on a minute, I'm thinking of a caption! 1.2080 0.04586 125 105 14 6
961 oh fuck 1.2080 0.04859 125 107 10 8
962 Oh wait. Maybe it's anesthetic first, then cut, then snip and then stitch! 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
963 I'm sure you harbor a few complaints, but just think about my fine can opener skills. 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
964 It was her idea to call you "Snickers." 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
965 The witch says I can either put your tail back where I found it or stay this size forever. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
966 Samantha! Call your mother. 1.2080 0.04724 125 106 12 7
967 Put down the needle and crawl slowly back into your thimble. 1.2080 0.04724 125 106 12 7
968 Sharpen your claws on something I don't have to mend. 1.2080 0.03983 125 101 22 2
969 Come near me and I promise you I’ll sew. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
970 Look, I don't like this forced perspective any more than you do. 1.2080 0.03983 125 101 22 2
971 And so you're assuming it was me that smoked your catnip 1.2080 0.03983 125 101 22 2
972 You might feel a little prick? 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
973 Watch it,this thing is loaded. 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
974 Trust me, whiskers. A stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
975 Jim's taxidermied Mother-in-Law was now complete. 1.2080 0.05117 125 109 6 10
976 Pause please? 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
977 I hope you got a giant discount on this home neutering kit. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
978 You win -- based on our new relationship dynamics, no more dry cat food. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
979 If you think you are bad take a look at what I did to the dog. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
980 Just trust me -- kittens are overrated. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
981 Just because I've shrunk doesn't mean the sweater I'm making for you will. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
982 The mice from Cinderella made this look so much easier 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
983 They told me that the revival of "Cats" on Broadway was going to be big, but I didn't believe them. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
984 Trust me, it won't hurt a bit... 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
985 Yes, Honey, I know Siegfreid .... or was it Roy .... got bitten trying this. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
986 Seriously, we must revisit those tartar control treats. 1.2080 0.04724 125 106 12 7
987 Hold still now and let me take out the splinter. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
988 Reason #37 to Neuter your pets. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
989 I know I promised you a ball of yarn, but this is close and there's no need to take that tone with me! 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
990 what would martha stewart do? 1.2080 0.04586 125 105 14 6
991 I don't need your "stitch in time to save nine!" 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
992 Hmm, I dont recall how Gulliver handled this one... 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
993 My stitch in time trumps your nine. 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
994 Stop dawdling! If you're to visit the queen, I have to finish your boots then get back to the beanstalk before I'm missed! 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
995 My subconscious really needs to stop taking my catnaps so literally. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
996 I threaded the needle for you, but it's only going to get harder from here. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
997 Think of all the wet food I've given you 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
998 Easy now, the job description read: 'Fixing Big Buttons'. Honest mistake. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
999 Fine! Less work reconfiguring the shrink ray; more tummy rubs. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1000 Well, Muffy, I never liked you much, either. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1001 Don't you know me? I used to be big. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
1002 I know the last alterations were painful, but I promise, this won't hurt too much. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1003 Don't give me any of that Stitch in time saves nine crap! 1.2080 0.04859 125 107 10 8
1004 Wait till I tell my analyst – Dr. Katz – about this dream! 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
1005 Do you want to be in this musical or not? 1.2080 0.04586 125 105 14 6
1006 This is definitely going viral. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
1007 Nothing's changed around here, Timmy--stay off the kitchen counters! 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1008 Back down fur ball! You're not messing with some whack-job cat hoarder here. 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
1009 It is I Don Quixote. 1.2063 0.04552 126 106 14 6
1010 The cat's out of the bag, Mister. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1011 Hope I remembered to set the alarm. I can't wake-up soon enough from this one. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1012 Now, you're just going to feel a little poke. 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1013 Haystack my ass! 1.2033 0.05027 123 107 7 9
1014 Maybe we should play scissors , rock and paper and forget the needle and thread option 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1015 Remember my couch? 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1016 If you don't calm down, I can't clean under your nails 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1017 Now, now fluffy. Let's try to keep things in perspective. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1018 I always suspected you would try to eat me if I were smaller than you. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1019 My stitch in time won't save your nine! 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1020 Don't look at me like that - I don't know what to do with it either! 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1021 Androcles! It's me! Lionel...from Troy! Remember? 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1022 Use your words, Big Guy. 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1023 Look, I'm sure we can work out the timing for the litter box. 1.2033 0.03992 123 100 21 2
1024 No I said, "stay" not "spay". 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1025 "Did I hear you say so what, or sew WHAT"! 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1026 Go ahead, call me a pussy again... 1.2033 0.04754 123 105 11 7
1027 Stay back or I'll knit you a sweater you'll really hate! 1.2033 0.03992 123 100 21 2
1028 It's cat gut, but it didn't come from any cat you knew. 1.2033 0.04754 123 105 11 7
1029 It saves nine, I say! 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1030 Were you only pretending to love me? 1.2033 0.03822 123 99 23 1
1031 I'm sorry. I thought a stitch in time saved nine. 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1032 My name is Human Montoya. You eat my father, prepare to die. 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1033 Am I dreaming this? or are you dreaming me? 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1034 Stop needling me Tom! 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1035 I told you already - I didn't touch your milk. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1036 Somebody wake me up, please... 1.2033 0.03992 123 100 21 2
1037 A stitch in time saves nine. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1038 C'mon, don't over-react. I was just needling you. 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1039 Don't be so cranky...I'll fix your mittens. I promise. 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1040 "This is just a dream, right? 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1041 The eye of the tiger. I thought there might be a common thread. 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1042 It's just a sewing needle, you big pussy. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1043 If you can't respect me when I'm three inches tall, well, it makes me question everything I believed about our us. 1.2033 0.03992 123 100 21 2
1044 Igor! Stop celebrating. REVERSE THE BEAM!! 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1045 My guess is that "here, kitty kitty" won't cut it. Am I right? 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1046 Your explanation of String Theory doesn't even come close! 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1047 No worries, I'm hiding it in a haystack. Not your litter box. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1048 No more sleeping on our bed! 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1049 I'm not going back into the litter box. 1.2033 0.04892 123 106 9 8
1050 You will be in big trouble when my wife gets home. 1.2033 0.03822 123 99 23 1
1051 Before I begin, are you familiar with "Androcles and the Lion"? 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1052 What Would Rick Moranis Do? 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1053 Good God, Buttons. I SHRANK. Cleaning your litter box is out of the question. 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1054 You'r nothing but a big pussy cat, aren't you, aren't you? 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1055 Scissors, thread, thimble. Your turn. 1.2033 0.04754 123 105 11 7
1056 Now Mr. Jones regretted not giving the cat that extra treat. 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1057 I promise to clean your litter box tomorrow, but it is is a big box! 1.2033 0.03992 123 100 21 2
1058 Consider it payback for what happened in your litter box. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1059 Hold still, Patches. 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1060 Don't forget--- a stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1061 Do you want to hear the whole story of how I got here, or not? 1.2033 0.03992 123 100 21 2
1062 When this wears off, I am going to kick you so hard across the floor. 1.2033 0.04892 123 106 9 8
1063 No, I'm a shoemaker's elf. The kitty treat elf called in sick. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1064 This is one cat toy that's fighting back. 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1065 No, you misunderstood me. I said, 'SO you're back'. 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1066 Ok I get it, you wanted a red ball of yarn. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1067 Look, if I was a mouse, would I be offering to sew up that tear you made in the curtains? 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1068 When you realize wearing mouse scented cologne was a bad idea... 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
1069 Good thing I saved the taxidermy kit I used on Clifford. 1.2016 0.04126 124 102 19 3
1070 Are you sure that a stitch in time saves nine lives? 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
1071 If I don't get the "...and the Brobdingnag's Taxidermy Association Award goes to Lemuel Gulliver!" this time, I'll be very disappointed. 1.2016 0.04126 124 102 19 3
1072 Did you ever hear the story of Androcles and the Lion? 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
1073 "Okay. Okay! You'll sing 'Memory' and I'll play the air guitar! 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1074 Magic Beans he told me...Silver and Gold he told me...Oy... 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1075 Just point me in the direction of the goose that lays the golden eggs and no one will get hurt. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1076 Okay, Okay, no more Cat Hats! 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1077 If this wasn't a forced perspective shot, I'd be royally screwed. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1078 Just hold still, Felix. I've done this a thousand times. 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1079 I simply cannot make you a mouse skin coat with less than forty skins 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1080 Again I tell you, it is easier for me to go through the eye of this needle than for a fat cat like you to enter the kingdom of God. 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1081 I have a needle and I'm not afraid to use it!! 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1082 O.K., here it is, but I still don't think you can fix that rip before they return. 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1083 Just as I suspected -- Cats don't really love us; they just use us. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1084 I'm Dr. Daniel. Didn't your service let you know I'd be doing your thornectomy today? 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1085 It's MY ball of yarn! 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1086 Okay! I agree! The incredible expanding kitty, is a much better title. 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1087 OK...not sure how this acupuncture thing really work... 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1088 Honey! It might be Muffin's nappy time. 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1089 Please tell the witch I am sorry I called her an ugly broom riding genie. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1090 Sew be it. 1.1967 0.04748 122 105 10 7
1091 There's more than one way to fence a cat. 1.1967 0.03797 122 99 22 1
1092 Meowch!!!! 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1093 It's a free-will universe, cat. Decide to eat me and I'll stab you. You'll just have to suture self. 1.1967 0.04748 122 105 10 7
1094 This is gonna make a helluva yarn. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1095 This is how you repay me for adopting you? 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1096 I'll get din-din as soon as I wake up. 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1097 We don't use cat gut anymore. 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1098 Finally some truth in advertising, Mittens. That high-protein, free range chicken, all natural, spring medley, super veggie robust octane Kitty Chow really helped you grow! 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1099 It's fashion week, Mittens, why not make this easy? 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1100 The next time some guy tells you sewing makes you a pussy, have him talk to me. 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1101 Just say, "Thank you, Androcles" 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1102 Umm, yeah - it is the size of the cat in the fight. 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1103 You'll feel better after your cat nap. 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1104 Which cake did you eat? 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1105 Hold on, I can prove we are 99% genetically identical 1.1967 0.03797 122 99 22 1
1106 Deal . . . you get three mice, a hoop of cheese, and I keep the notions. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1107 Just because I'm small doesn't mean I can't needle you. 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1108 Glad I didn't go with the blind stitch. 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1109 It's kind of a funny story, actually.... 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1110 Shoot the designers, not the tailor 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1111 Trust me. In a few minutes you'll be having a ball. 1.1967 0.04748 122 105 10 7
1112 You're mistaking me for a talking mouse, while I'm actually a small tailor. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1113 Did you roll the blue thread under the couch again? 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1114 Chill, Tabby! You've brought small claws to a big needle fight. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1115 Bob Barker sent me. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1116 Now Roger, let's not be melodramatic. 1.1967 0.03614 122 98 24 0
1117 I told you, I can no longer operate the can opener! 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1118 I can't open a can either! 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1119 Now roll over and play dead... 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1120 Between my cat and quilting, I'm staring to feel less of a man. 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1121 The cat lobby is more powerful than we thought. 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1122 And there stood Larry, out of his comfort sewn. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1123 Let's just say I drew the short straw. 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1124 It is all a matter of perspective 1.1967 0.04748 122 105 10 7
1125 Seriously, the vet said you would live a happier life without them. No more fighting with other males . . . 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1126 I would never knowingly put PED's in your milk! 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1127 No. You listen. Individually we're nothing, but together... we just might become an adage! 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1128 Start small. If you can handle this, then you can work up to yarn. 1.1967 0.04748 122 105 10 7
1129 Alright already, I lied about the milk in the thimble! 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1130 So, you finished sewing your costume? 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1131 You ripped sofa so you have to fix it 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1132 Oh calm down. I'm just going to get the splinter out of your paw, and we'll become best of friends. 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1133 Prick! 1.1967 0.04748 122 105 10 7
1134 How many times do I have to tell you that sewing requires opposable thumbs? 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1135 And they said I could never be a taxidermist. 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1136 Some day, Fluffy, I'm going to be big, and THEN you'll be sorry. 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1137 You know what I am and I am sure not scared of a little prick. 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1138 Yes, that's right, a stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1139 About that discount cat food... 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1140 I know how to use to the can opener. 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1141 Hold on -- I'm here to shoot the Gulliver's Travels cat video. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1142 If you didn't want stitches, then you shouldn't have been fighting in the alley. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1143 Can you at least wait till I finish the shirt? 1.1951 0.04267 123 103 16 4
1144 Scat! Gulliver's calling you. 1.1951 0.04568 123 105 12 6
1145 After all that catnip? 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1146 I'm going to make you a new mitten. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1147 My psychiatrist thinks my nightmarish fear of cats and love of sewing represent my internal gender identification issues. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1148 Play nice and I’ll find some yarn. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1149 Sure, I seem small, but I'm actually an industrial giant. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1150 That's the last time I try catnip. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1151 Watch, it's easy. You can be domesticated, too. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1152 I should have gotten a dog. 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1153 A little tight in the armpit, you say? 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1154 'It won"t hurt and rehab will get you back on your paws in a jiffy.' 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1155 Did you ever read Alice in Wonderland? 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1156 A mouse terrified them. Wait 'til I leave you on their doorstep. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1157 Okay okay, I won't knit you a sweater for Christmas. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1158 Hey, Hon? You gotta come do catnip with the cat. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1159 Splinters again? 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1160 Sorry, I should have been kinder to you on my way up. 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1161 Back off or you won't get pajamas. 1.1917 0.03977 120 99 19 2
1162 Frank, we have had this conversation already. Just because you invented a shrink ray and a cat translator does not mean I will overlook your frankly vacuous views on the Trans-Pacific Partnership. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1163 Sew what? 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1164 Say "aaah" 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1165 Ok, I guess I'll play with you. 1.1917 0.03797 120 98 21 1
1166 Schrödinger's cat is very much alive! 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1167 Well, then, don’t wear the collar if you don’t want to. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1168 Here knitty, knitty, knitty! 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1169 The sweater wasn't my idea. Is this about something else? 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1170 Stop being such a big pussy! 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1171 I'll try to mend your ways. 1.1917 0.03977 120 99 19 2
1172 Hold on! We tried flossing. 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1173 Don't you ever call me pussy again. 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1174 I'll leave you in stitches, ya big pussy! 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1175 I will have you in stitches in no time! 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1176 Ok, that was eight. Do you really want to try again? 1.1917 0.03977 120 99 19 2
1177 Knock it off. I'm hanging on by a thread here. 1.1917 0.03977 120 99 19 2
1178 Drop the attitude or your sweater will never get done. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1179 You wouldn't be so mad if you knew the number of YouTube views you're getting with the giant ball of yarn. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1180 Let me show you what I can do with just one hair ball. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1181 Ninth time's the charm. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1182 As long as I'm holding this needle you'll just have to find your own spool of thread. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1183 You are fantastic. The props are great. We are ready for Vegas. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1184 Ok, calm down. My mistake. I thought you said "cat knit toys." 1.1917 0.03977 120 99 19 2
1185 I promise your Cat's Pajamas will be ready by Tuesday. 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1186 Thank God for perspective! 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1187 I don't know if it's you or if it's me...............I just hope it's a very bad dream. 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1188 Turns out the real estate agent wasn't pulling my leg. Rick Moranis really did live here! 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1189 A stitch in time will save one of your nine! 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1190 You should really relax and take up needle point. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1191 Really stupid pet tricks 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1192 I was just trying to take out your splinter. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1193 I said, "Ball of yarn," not "Small and armed." 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1194 I hate when metaphors become reality. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1195 Tom began to regret not reading the small print about the film producers not using CGI 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1196 It's a simple basting stitch and you can use it for nearly anything. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1197 I'm afraid you'll have to go to a bigger veterinary practice for your stitches. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1198 I told Andrew Lloyd Webber and Rick Moranis that this was a bad idea! 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1199 If you're patient I'll take you to the world's largest ball of yarn. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1200 Come now. You made it hard enough to take measurements. 1.1917 0.03977 120 99 19 2
1201 Look, I'm sorry I called you 'flea-bitten furball factory'. Now will you back off? 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1202 When I said a little prick, I wasn't talking about your size. 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1203 Finding a haystack would have been better. 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1204 Do I look like a mouse to you? Really? 1.1917 0.03977 120 99 19 2
1205 First, you're not a rabbit. But I'm more worried that I took the wrong pill. 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1206 Beam me up now, damn it, make it sew! 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1207 Ok,ok, I did cut the cheese. 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1208 Looks like we stitched the sack around your agates too tight. 1.1901 0.04282 121 102 15 4
1209 "Careful pussy, my name's Thumb, Tom Thumb. 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1210 I said 'cataracts,' not 'cat attacks!' 1.1901 0.04282 121 102 15 4
1211 "Alright, I'll find the can opener". 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1212 Be careful. My influence hasn't shrunk yet. 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1213 I know I stepped on your tail last night, but there's no hard feelings right? 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1214 It is I Don Quixote the Man of La Mancha . 1.1901 0.03948 121 100 19 2
1215 Sew what? I'm a fat cat, you're a little man. 1.1901 0.04440 121 103 13 5
1216 No catnip. 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1217 Catgut got your tongue? 1.1901 0.04440 121 103 13 5
1218 Get used to it, I'm NOT cleaning your box, OK? 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1219 Here's proof I'm not a mouse. I sew. 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1220 Niiiice kitty! Niiice kitty! 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1221 I don't like milk either. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1222 Look at it this way... a stitch in time saves nine. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1223 For the last time, Stuart Little moved out the apartment years ago. 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1224 If I knew it would've come to this, I would have de-clawed you! 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1225 Suddenly, it occurred to the poor old Shoemaker that productivity declined significantly the nights when Frisky was not locked in the basement. 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1226 Either the old gypsy woman's curse actually came true, or else maybe I shouldn't have eaten a pastrami and goat cheese sandwich right before bed... 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1227 I think this is a way to mend our relationship. 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1228 Look, I know when I was bigger, I kicked you a few times...but I did let the kid keep you, didn't I? 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1229 Why don't we just press paws? 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1230 Fine. I'll change your name to Godzilla. 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1231 Apology accepted. Can we put the cat back in the bag now? 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1232 Honey, I shrunk our human 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1233 There's more than one way to stich a cat. 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1234 Take me to your leader 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1235 If you put your tail on my nose, I'll sneeze and wake up. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1236 Relax! I'll have you in stitches in no time. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1237 See how lousy that feels? 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1238 "You might wish to reconsider the possibility of assured mutual destruction. 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1239 Do we have to go through this every time you need a flea bath? 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1240 The worst part of all this is I have trouble pronouncing 'Brobdingnagian'. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1241 It saves nine stitches, not cat lives. 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1242 Look, it'll only take one stitch to save all nine lives if you sit still and let me do it in time. 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1243 You remember all the chew toys I got you for Christmas, don't you, Mr. Wiggles? 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1244 Well one of us has to domesticate. 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1245 I will not wear a sweater like the dog! 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1246 The problem is not as small as you think, Mr. Whiskers 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1247 Maybe it is time to cancel my PETA membership. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1248 Sew........catgut your tongue? 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1249 Careful...or you'll need stitches 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1250 Not so happy about kidney with giblets, are you! 1.1849 0.03768 119 98 20 1
1251 I'll allow three attempts to solve the riddle. You may also phone a friend. 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1252 Your anger gives one paws. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1253 An ailurophobe's perception of living with a cat. 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1254 Now you know how the couch feels 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1255 I SEW HATE THIS DREAM! 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1256 Of course it's going to hurt! I will be literally piercing your ears! 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1257 I had a notion that something like this would happen. 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1258 Oh yeah. I've seen the movie, I'm more worried about the spider. 1.1833 0.04097 120 101 16 3
1259 I said I wanted yarn 1.1833 0.04264 120 102 14 4
1260 There may be some lingering resentment. 1.1833 0.03922 120 100 18 2
1261 But, I'm a cat person. 1.1833 0.04264 120 102 14 4
1262 I was told I'd be adopting a domestic cat. 1.1833 0.03922 120 100 18 2
1263 Eye of the Tiger versus Eye of the Needle 1.1833 0.04264 120 102 14 4
1264 I thought we were equal partners, but fine…you keep 60% and I’ll keep 40% of all the revenue from your YouTube channel. 1.1833 0.04264 120 102 14 4
1265 I said I need that sewing kit, little man! 1.1833 0.04581 120 104 10 6
1266 On second thought, honeybun, that's a great idea, hosting your coven's Annual Wiccan Quilting Bee at our house on Super Bowl Sunday. I'm all for it. 1.1833 0.04581 120 104 10 6
1267 Oh yeah? Well you grew up to be a big bully. 1.1833 0.04425 120 103 12 5
1268 I think you may be misinterpreting my usage of the word 'pause' 1.1833 0.04581 120 104 10 6
1269 Easy, I'm not trying to needle you. 1.1833 0.04425 120 103 12 5
1270 i'm small, not mousey. 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1271 You won't feel a thing, I promise. 1.1795 0.04479 117 101 11 5
1272 The vet suggested we take in the waist. 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1273 Make my day, Pussy! 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1274 What don't you understand when I say I don't want mittens ? 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1275 Who you calling needle dick, you big PUSSY! 1.1795 0.04797 117 103 7 7
1276 Wait! I have to warn you -- I'm not gluten free! 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1277 You ever hear the one about the lion and the mouse? 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1278 You realize that wasn't catnip? 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1279 I represent a compact and tightly-knit defense team. 1.1795 0.04641 117 102 9 6
1280 Sir, you opted for a health insurance plan that only covers the mini program of splinter removal. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1281 STOP, little man - i'd rather impale my paw on your shiny stick than hear another story about 'your world' 1.1795 0.03764 117 97 19 1
1282 So the boss say: "We're downsizing you, but you'll be okay"... 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1283 Not now, Gloria! 1.1795 0.03563 117 96 21 0
1284 Bark bark? 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1285 You're not so indifferent now. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1286 Okay, so the lady pays me to fix the curtain, then I bring you some catnip the next time you rip it up. Deal? 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1287 This could end as quite a yarn. 1.1795 0.04479 117 101 11 5
1288 Look, I'm not excited about this either. You swallowed the rubber band ball. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1289 If I'm going to pretend to be the mouse, you need a realistic thorn. 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1290 Master the cross stitch and I'll renegotiate your YouTube deal. 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1291 Again, sir, the plus-size fee cannot be waived for bespoke pajamas. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1292 Do you want to be on Facebook or not? 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1293 The spray-bottle was never my idea! 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1294 Let me tell you about a guy named Aesop. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1295 Hold still, I'm just a little prick 1.1795 0.04479 117 101 11 5
1296 The bath is ready! 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1297 The dog will still listen to me 1.1795 0.03764 117 97 19 1
1298 My point precisely. 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1299 Don't be so nasty, you should know that "a stitch in time saves nine". 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1300 Keep your paws off of my thread and needle! 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1301 I'm telling you, it wasn't me! I don't even own a laser. 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1302 I studied thorn removal, under Androcles 1.1795 0.03764 117 97 19 1
1303 Scaredy-cat! 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1304 Ok tough guy, no catnip for you after I wake up. 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1305 Big cat taxidermy. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1306 Sorry, but I just spent an entire week cleaning your litter box. 1.1795 0.04479 117 101 11 5
1307 This is just a dream. Go play with the thread. 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1308 If you are going to act this way, Fluffy, then you can thread your own neefdle! 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1309 Yeh, it was either shrink or get reading glasses. 1.1795 0.03764 117 97 19 1
1310 I don't want to play a game of cat and mouse with you. 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1311 Relax! It's just a little microsurgery. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1312 Enough with the short people jokes. 1.1795 0.03764 117 97 19 1
1313 I won't tell you where the mice are, I'm not a rat! 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1314 Trust me! 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1315 You think just because you house and feed me I'm going to be a cute and cuddly human that will love you? Please....You're lucky I stick around here. 1.1795 0.04479 117 101 11 5
1316 A stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1317 I told the genie that all I've ever wanted was to play a small role in That Darn Cat..... 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1318 You know the actor in the "IN THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN" actually lived to tell about it? 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1319 if done in time, it saves your lives ! 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1320 I suppose I should have paid more attention when that ancient gypsy was telling me the spell on how to bring Socks back from the dead but she must have talked for a good ten minutes straight! There were Pokémon to catch! 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1321 C'mon...A stitch in time saves nine...nine lives...there's a joke in here somewhere. Work with me. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1322 If you want this thing to go viral, don't eat your webmaster. 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1323 Don't you get it kitty?!! A stitch in time saves Nine 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1324 Mr. Mittens. I would say 'Touché,' but that's already a caption for a Thurber cartoon. 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1325 But, Bob Barker wants you spayed girl. 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1326 Don't make me hurt you! 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1327 If you kill me you’ll blow your last chance to be on YouTube. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1328 Remember who is master here. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1329 You're itching for a stitching. 1.1739 0.03550 115 95 20 0
1330 I told you...don't use the Giant Redwood as a scratching post. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1331 Give me back my tongue, Cat! 1.1739 0.04664 115 101 8 6
1332 Yeah, yeah, yeah, everybody's got a yarn to share 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1333 It was my wife who bought you all that cheap cat food. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1334 Fluffy, you're not getting the point. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1335 I've got five reasons you should roll that thread into a ball for me to play with. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1336 Sorry. Can't knit you a cheezburger. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1337 I assure you, I am highly qualified to perform this procedure. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1338 Boss, the team is wondering if you would consider retracting the clause 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1339 Honey, I shrunk Adam Sandler 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1340 I'm trying to work with you, but you need to be the bigger cat. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1341 Here's a thought: put away the claws and rub my neck 'til I purr. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1342 You know they say a stitch in time saves nine lives! 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1343 A tired man's wish to switch places with his cat goes horribly wrong. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1344 I keep telling you, a stitch in time will save you nine 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1345 Think you can make it through the eye of the needle ... Go ahead, make my day! 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1346 Don't you dare threaten me, without your thimble!! 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1347 You'd better close that potty pussy mouth, before I sew it shut! 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1348 There will be just a little prick 1.1739 0.03759 115 96 18 1
1349 Yell all you want, I still think a simple cross stitch is the way to go. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1350 And there's eight more where that came from. 1.1739 0.04825 115 102 6 7
1351 I realize this may seem like a transfer of power but it won't be long before you succumb to your own litter box. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1352 One stitch, nine lives. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1353 Relax Cuddles, its only a cartoon 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1354 Tom Thumb's adventures in taxidermy didn't elicit the same excitement as his earlier stories. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1355 You want cuffs? Really? Just listen to yourself. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1356 Don't blame me for you outgrowing your litter box 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1357 One way to skin a cat. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1358 Who's a pretty little pussycat? And where's a 100-pound ball of catnip-covered yarn when you need it? 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1359 It wasn't my idea. Blame the stupid cartoonist. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1360 I'll whistle for Rex if I have to. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1361 Wow, the Make-A-Death-Wish Foundation really does have it all! 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1362 Go get the popcorn, and we'll get ahead on holiday decorating this year. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1363 Let's do it again. Scissors, thimble, needle. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1364 Well, your question was answered whether I'm a man or a mouse. 1.1739 0.03759 115 96 18 1
1365 Retract your claws. Step back nice and slow--or it'll be the last time you tangle the thread. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1366 Now sing after me... Sew, a needle pulling thread. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1367 Be reasonable, the ball of yarn is lost. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1368 I don't know why she licked the spoon in KLUTE, she just did it, okay? 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1369 Say hello kitty to my little friend 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1370 E.B. White: get out of my dreams! 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1371 Time to get back into the bag. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1372 I'm pretty sure my girlfriends cat really hates me. 1.1739 0.03759 115 96 18 1
1373 Please, I gave to the SPCA! 1.1739 0.03550 115 95 20 0
1374 Unlike you, I'm small, feral and armed. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1375 I know this is a dream and you are Trump and this is my magic wand. 1.1739 0.04664 115 101 8 6
1376 Sometimes you're not very nice to your staff... I'm just sayin'. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1377 Where's Siegfried when you need him? 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1378 Oh like you have anything to be upset over. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1379 I didn't think it would come down to this. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1380 So much for the marriage counseling. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1381 Remember who brought catnip home... 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1382 Come on. I just want enough for a winter coat. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1383 Um, Genie, do you even know what a Mouseketeer is? 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1384 OK OK I was wrong to say "a stitch in time saves nine." 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1385 IT'S NINE LIVES YOU IDIOT, NOT A STICH IN NINE... 1.1739 0.04664 115 101 8 6
1386 Why is there never a stress-dream dog? 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1387 Remember, a stitch in time could save nine. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1388 Easy! I was just going to make you some new mittens. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1389 I'm not trying to needle you. 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1390 It may help you to know that in college I was a champion at the javelin throw. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1391 I think I've picked up the wrong pills. 1.1739 0.03759 115 96 18 1
1392 Suddenly Bill realized that maybe inventing the "People Shrinking Machine" wasn't such a great idea after all. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1393 Is it really necessary for every movie to have a sequel? 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1394 It's just a little thorn. Here, let's have a look. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1395 You'd better thread carefully. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1396 Don't you dare needle me with your clawstrophobia. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1397 It's not my fault I can't use the can opener. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1398 Eight down, only one to go. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1399 For the umpteenth time, I'm telling you I'm a tailor, not a veterinarian! 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1400 This won't hurt a bit. Just put down the giant needle. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1401 My, that is a big splinter! 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1402 You darn cat, I darn socks. 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1403 Have I ever told you the story about the Lion and the Mouse? 1.1739 0.03759 115 96 18 1
1404 And to think that all of those feedings and pettings have come to this. 1.1739 0.03759 115 96 18 1
1405 I know, pedicure time is challenging. 1.1739 0.03759 115 96 18 1
1406 Well, Mr. Trump, I'm afraid that if you want to be president, you're going to have to learn how to thread the needle yourself. 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1407 No, I don't remember squirting you with a squirt gun. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1408 Well, you needle me all the time too. 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1409 Yeah, I get it that it's sorta embarrassing to be in the remake of "The Incredible Shrinking Man". Still, just watch the claws. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1410 I don't care what it costs. We're switching to organic cat food. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1411 I understand, it's not exactly lion taming, but suddenly I have very few options. 1.1739 0.03550 115 95 20 0
1412 You better listen - I am not one of your playthings! 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1413 A stitch in time saves nine lives. It is the way it goes! 1.1739 0.04664 115 101 8 6
1414 What do you have against tailors? 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1415 Are you sure you want to do this yourself? 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1416 '''It will be okay. They say string-theory is the latest cat craze." 1.1724 0.04461 116 101 10 5
1417 You can't use cat scratch fever as an excuse for everything. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1418 No Gulliver, I said a ball of yarn. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1419 I thought cat scratch fever was just a song. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1420 Wanna play "Pin the tail on the doggie? 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
1421 Don't be a scaredy-cat. It'll only take a few little stitches. 1.1724 0.03729 116 97 18 1
1422 Let's see how many of your nine lives it takes to convince you I'm not on the menu. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1423 I'm only going to tell you one more time: get back in the bag. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1424 I promise I won't make you wear a Halloween costume this year. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1425 You're the one that's gonna be hanging by a thread. 1.1724 0.04461 116 101 10 5
1426 ...and l would rather stick this needle in my eye than take you to see 'Cats'...again! 1.1724 0.04626 116 102 8 6
1427 That's the last can of Puss 'n Boots for you! 1.1724 0.04461 116 101 10 5
1428 Pushy cat. 1.1724 0.04290 116 100 12 4
1429 I didn't realize this is what he meant by 'It's gonna be huge.' 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
1430 Hey, this is not a toy 1.1709 0.03894 117 99 16 2
1431 Needle, thimble, scissors,...shoot. 1.1681 0.03751 113 95 17 1
1432 Oh how I wish I were safely back home in Lilliput. 1.1681 0.03751 113 95 17 1
1433 A stitch in feline takes all nine. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1434 If you prick us, do we not bleed? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1435 You're a smart cat. Let's talk non-aggression pact. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1436 My grandfather was a tailor. Don't even think about it. 1.1681 0.03751 113 95 17 1
1437 Don't touch me! I have the right to bear arms! 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1438 I don't know, you're giving me a moment of paws. 1.1681 0.03751 113 95 17 1
1439 Looks like I chose the wrong week to give up knitting . 1.1681 0.03751 113 95 17 1
1440 Why must everything begin and end with the litter box? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1441 Well, it worked with the spider. 1.1681 0.03751 113 95 17 1
1442 Playtime's over. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1443 Relax Donald, We just want to wire your mouth shut. 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
1444 Who let the cats out?" "WHO WHO? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1445 Warning: this is a long thread. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1446 In your dreams, kitty. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1447 Siegfried and Roy where are you now that I need you ? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1448 Fluffy always thinks I am playing with her whenever I sew. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1449 You baaad ol' putty tat! 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
1450 *Sigh*, Androcles made it look so easy. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1451 "So what?" you say! Come any closer and I'll show you sew what! 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
1452 Be nice, or I'll call the Lilliputians. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
1453 Wouldn't you rather go out for dinner? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1454 This will hurt you more than it will hurt me. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1455 Okay, okay, I get it. I need to empathize more. Now back off and bring me the other half of the mushroom, dammit. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1456 I'm asking you one last time. What did you do with my pet mouse? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1457 Wake up, kitty. I'm not this small. You just wish I was. 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
1458 Try it, and I'll be bobbin and weavin' all over the place. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1459 Not for the first time, Edgar found himself relating to Rick Moranis. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
1460 sometimes it feels like trump is this giant pussy were poking at 1.1681 0.04853 113 101 5 7
1461 I'm telling you a stitch in time saves nine! 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1462 Just hold still, Androcles. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
1463 The thread is mightier than the claw 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1464 Get the point? 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
1465 Houndstooth? Really? 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
1466 Goliath, stop that! 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1467 Just how many lives have you got left? 1.1681 0.03534 113 94 19 0
1468 Does this smell weird to you? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1469 I knitted a monster! 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1470 Take me outside; I need to pee. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1471 I just wanted to cuddle... 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1472 Hey, if you don't eat me while I'm under this spell, I'll arrange for you to mate with that cute tabby who lives around the corner plus I'll throw in a five-year supply of catnip. 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
1473 Let's call a truce and play cat's cradle. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
1474 I might be small, but I have a big prick for you. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1475 Sew, we'll needle be thready with thimble explanation for this when my kids get home from spool. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1476 I'm so sorry that you hurt your paw. Remember, a stitch in time saves nine lives! 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1477 When we named you "Patches" you should have known sewing would be involved. 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
1478 It's lucky for you, I don't have a tiny spray bottle! 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1479 You asked for a small business owner. What's the problem? 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1480 You don't like dry food? 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
1481 Sew there! 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
1482 Okay, I'll sew whatever you want. 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
1483 Cat: I thought you'd be bigger. Guy: And, I suppose cows fly now too? Cat: And, there are pink unicorns. Guy: Who's president? Cat: Trump. Guy: Eat me. 1.1652 0.04266 115 100 11 4
1484 Not what I meant when I said we needed a big cat to help with jobs around here. 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
1485 We forgot your tetanus shot. 1.1652 0.04441 115 101 9 5
1486 Now, don't get catty. . . 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
1487 I can use this to get that thorn out of your paw. 1.1652 0.03691 115 97 17 1
1488 Feeling sharp enough to keep this thread going? 1.1638 0.04232 116 101 11 4
1489 Hold on! I'm reloading! 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1490 There's more than one way to thread a needle. 1.1607 0.03486 112 94 18 0
1491 Any chance you need some custom tailoring? 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1492 You understand this is just a steroidal delusion, right? 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1493 Baaaaad kitty! (Gulp) 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1494 OK, we'll sew up the deal. You deal with anger issues, I accept a smaller role in your life. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1495 If you can think of another way to become Siamese, I’m all ears… 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1496 Hold on. I have to recalculate the dose of growth hormone I took. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1497 Relax... I just asked if you do trouser alterations. 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1498 If you don't want me to make you those winter bootees, I won't 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1499 One, does not bring a needle and thread to a cat fight ! 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1500 Where's my yarn ball gone? 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1501 wrong cartoon 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1502 Three sets of mittens, you got it. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1503 OK, Skipper, cool it! The "Drink Me" bottle worked, right? I'll feed you once I've had the "Eat Me" cake! 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1504 This will wear off, so don't burn any bridges. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1505 What is small, furry, and brilliant at sword fights? A mouseketeer! Wait, I got another one... 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1506 I'm sorry it's come to this. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1507 But a stitch in time saves nine lives! 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1508 O.K. then, I won't knit you mittens!" 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1509 Quit being such a BIG pu**y! You'll just feel a little prick. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1510 You've got to ask yourself one question: do you feel lucky; well do you punk? 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1511 I'll fix your giant toy mouse as quickly as I can. 1.1607 0.03486 112 94 18 0
1512 I can assure you I am completely Anti-Fur! 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1513 One more time, Donald, how do you react when Hillary says you're unqualified. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1514 Here's the bigger point. 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1515 Just imagine if you were in my position! 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1516 Don't, I taste like salmon pate. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1517 The irony is that the bullies called me needle-dick in high school. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1518 Come now, a stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1519 I wasn't the one who brought home Clifford. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1520 PLEASE tell me this is a "cute" cat cartoon! 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1521 Don't make me get Odie. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1522 Catnip has you trippin' yo! 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1523 I can see that you have lots more than I do, but mine is bigger. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1524 Give me my tongue back. 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1525 Relax. This year's Christmas sweater will have no dogs. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1526 I don't care WHAT Sheila says. When I wake up, your claws are history. 1.1607 0.03486 112 94 18 0
1527 I've seen enough cat videos to know you really mean to be friendly. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1528 It's time to put away kittenish things. 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1529 I bet Jon never has to deal with this shit. 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1530 Cat's got your tongue isn't supposed to be literal. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1531 This must be why they recommend feeding only five or less Temptation(c) treats per day! 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1532 Who you gonna call? Catbusters! 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1533 Okay, I will let you star in the” Cat In The Hat” sequel 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1534 Thread your own needle Shorty. 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1535 No one messes with the brave little tailor, cat! One more move and you're number eight. 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1536 Better not eat me, Mr. Pickles. I know when you're getting neutered. 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1537 You don't threaten me man! Your skills are sew-sew.. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1538 YOU SHALL NOT HISS!!! 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1539 Well Whiskers, I think we can both agree that this time, the New Yorker has gone too far. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1540 Quick, somebody! Give kitty the red pill! 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1541 I'm not the spinster you're looking for, kitty. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1542 I promise I won't use your ball of string. 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1543 The shrink machine mishap has certainly shown your true colors Mr. Whiskers. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1544 This is no cat and mouse game 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1545 You're the one who said size doesn't matter. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1546 Look, I've seen the movie. You're wasting your time. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1547 Now wasn't a good time to try out my catnip cologne. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1548 let me point out and puncture the fallacy that a cat has nine lives. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1549 So, that's a "NO" on taxidermy practice? 1.1607 0.03486 112 94 18 0
1550 Kitty sit ... bad girl 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1551 No winter sweater then how about some cute bootees? 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1552 Where the hell is the NRA when you need them? 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1553 Hey! I sure wish you had a fiddle instead! 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1554 Your socks will be ready tomorrow. 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1555 So, if I get you the sewing machine, you promise to behave, right? 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1556 I'm having the 'giant pussy' dream, again; I really need to get laid! 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1557 Pals for life, right? 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1558 I saw a shrink today because I have "felines" of anxiety! 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1559 First of all, I would like to point something out to you. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1560 OK....let's negotiate. I'm a really good negotiator...believe me. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1561 Call me Androcles. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1562 Okay, you shouldn't say that to a witch. How do you think I feel? 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1563 Puffing yourself up to look big isn't fooling anybody. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1564 I'm man, not a mouse, and here's a big prick to prove it. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1565 You can ask all you want but I simply can't open the tuna can anymore. 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1566 now can you turn me back to my normal size ? 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1567 And I thought getting the thorn out of your paw would be hard. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1568 In retrospect, I should not have hidden the shrink ray in the Purina Friskies™ Party Mix Crunch. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1569 This has to be my finest Build-A-Bear work to date. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1570 It worked for Despereaux. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1571 Easy there Tom.......I have no idea where Jerry is? 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1572 So you're the one who made me chase the laser pointer. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1573 Oh, yeah? Then, how does feline, fo, fum, sound? 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1574 I still can't see a sliver. 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
1575 I told you, we are out of wet cat food! 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1576 This is what comes of watching too many craft shows on Saturday morning .. fer chrissakes wake up! 1.1607 0.03486 112 94 18 0
1577 We're gonna need a bigger needle 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1578 You're just going to have to wait for the 30 foot ball of string. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1579 Meow yourself! 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1580 I thought I told you to play outside. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1581 Now which tooth is hurting you? 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1582 Could we discuss this civilly over a nice bowl of catnip? 1.1607 0.03486 112 94 18 0
1583 Unfortunately the tailor's efforts to downsize had some catastrophic effects..." 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1584 I know I promised but they were out of the wet food. 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
1585 I hope this is as awkward for you as it is for me... 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1586 Hold still and I'll get the thorn. One false move and you'll get spayed. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1587 Tom and Jerry re-enact 'The creation of Adam' 1.1545 0.04509 110 98 7 5
1588 Why don't you quit trying to needle me 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1589 You don't scare me, you big pussy! 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1590 Does this mean that you don't like the Halloween costume that I made for you? 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1591 Just let me thread one more whisker 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1592 Thumbelina is on sabbatical, so there are going to be a few changes around here. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1593 I don't know who's been walking through your cat food, but it wasn't me. 1.1545 0.03462 110 93 17 0
1594 You may be bigger than me but you are still a pussy cat 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1595 Well, obviously, you've never seen "The Incredible Shrinking Man". 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1596 Ill let you play with this after I wake up 1.1545 0.03462 110 93 17 0
1597 I'm so disappointed. I asked the witch specifically for a cat that would love me regardless of whether or not I drank the potion that shrinks me. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1598 Just one more fur ball that's all I ask. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1599 Stand up on two legs. Stand up, Simba. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1600 Alright, alright, we won't call it a man's cradle. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1601 Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty cat. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1602 Tiny human, "accio cheezburger" is not going to work 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1603 I think I have enough of this reverse roleplaying game. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1604 Hey, Furball, give me a break! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even have those claws! 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1605 'Sew', you ask, What's your point? 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1606 Yes, yes. I will finish it in time for the Tony's. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1607 I should warn you. I'm not GMO-free. 1.1545 0.04509 110 98 7 5
1608 Hold the dramatics Kitty. I can see the sliver. One little flick, no pain, honest. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1609 Hey, back off! This is MY Napoleon complex. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1610 Yarn, not thread, yarn! Last time I take in a shelter human. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1611 Seriously, I'm a magic elf and for my freedom I can grant you that 10th live you've been chasing. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1612 These cat-and-mouse games aren't as fun as they used to be. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1613 I'm sorry, I should have never called you that. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1614 Wait, weren't you a spider in the movie? 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1615 For the last time, stay off my sewing table. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1616 Stop losing ping pong balls under the couch...or else. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1617 OK, now you roll-over and beg! 1.1545 0.04690 110 99 5 6
1618 This isn't what I meant when I asked for a big pussy. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1619 My point is, with just using this paw the odds are five to one in my favor! 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1620 Sew what now, you big bully 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1621 I hope you realize that if I put this in your paw you'll be asking me later to take it out. 1.1545 0.03462 110 93 17 0
1622 Honey uninstall the kids new iphone7 photo app. This is getting dangerous. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1623 Well, I guess I'll be ready if you tear me a new one. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1624 Spare my life and I'll give you a neutering reversal. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1625 Guys, how about we have one more look at that CGI budget? 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1626 Really? You cats have YouTube too? 1.1545 0.04509 110 98 7 5
1627 You know, I point this needle at you as though I think I'll be able to defend myself, but honestly, I'm pretty sure this is the end of the line. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1628 Hillary!" Trump's cat got loose again! 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1629 A stitch in time can save your nine lives. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1630 I guess this is what happens when we try a new brand of litter. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1631 Yes, yes, our roles are reversed, but a stich in time still saves nine. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1632 In my world the only certainty is death by taxidermy. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1633 It'll just be a pinch to remove the splinter; if anything, you'll still have 8 lives 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1634 Great acting Daisy, the theater director will love our Androcles and the Lion. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1635 Once again, I am compelled to remind you -- I am not a mouse. 1.1545 0.03462 110 93 17 0
1636 It's true what they say - taxidermy really does add 500 pounds. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1637 Very impressive, now lay down and show me the splinter. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1638 Hate to tell you but you didn't shrink, everything else got bigger. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1639 Paws up, don't shoot. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1640 What? You think it's only you who gets to play with the sewing kit? 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1641 I promise - this is not catgut suture. 1.1545 0.03462 110 93 17 0
1642 Are you a man or a mouse? 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1643 I keep telling you I have no thumbs 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1644 Your Haloween costume is very realistic. You'll scare the bejesus out of everyone?? 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1645 OK Coco, your wish came true!" 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1646 We can repair the curtains and the sofa. Unfortunately the mouse is a goner. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1647 This is definitely the last time I read T. S. Eliot after taking Ambien. Okay, second to last. I gotta see how fucked up Four Quartets gets me. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1648 Open wide. It's just a small cavity. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1649 I'm feeling threadened. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1650 This might not be the best time to tell you this, but it's your turn to be the mouse. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1651 You're supposed to be smiling!!!! I gotta quit reading Lewis Carroll before going to bed. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1652 I've crocheted a monster! 1.1545 0.03462 110 93 17 0
1653 A stitch in time will save nine of your lives. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1654 You've just gotten way too big for your stitches. 1.1545 0.03462 110 93 17 0
1655 I'm never getting a Maine Coon Cat again. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1656 Maybe it's time to invest in a sewing machine 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1657 How would you like to save all nine of your lives with one timely stitch? 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1658 I found the needle in the haystack. But right now I still don't feel very lucky. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1659 Back off, punk – I'm the Tom in these here parts. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1660 You've got me in stitches! 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1661 I will say this once again, I am very sorry for not cleaning out your litter box 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1662 This will go with your boots. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1663 I knew I shouldn't have gotten a cat... 1.1545 0.03462 110 93 17 0
1664 Nice kitty, soft kitty, go eat Sheldon. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1665 How was your day honey? 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1666 Tut-tut, Whiskers. Gratitude is the sign of noble souls. I remove the thorn; you procure the HGH. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1667 Sorry, but I think Alice gave me the wrong medicine this morning. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1668 You don’t think very highly of me, do you? 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1669 Meow, hell! I'm going for a ROAR! 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1670 He calls it his "magnum opus." I call it "that mess in the dining room." 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1671 I've never liked you and you've never liked me. This ends here. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1672 Mittens, we've been over this. Balls of yarn take time. I'd hoped you'd appreciate the creative process. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1673 Mr. Cat, please, our worries are Lilliputian when compared with those of nations at war. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1674 I can't fix you unless you cooperate. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1675 Schroedinger: please do not sit on the boson beam reducer. I knew I should have had you de-clawed. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1676 You can spool me once, you can spool me twice. The ball's in my court now. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1677 Beware, feline fiend, for a pin is mightier than a sword! Oh, dang it, this is a needle! My bad. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1678 Get your stitches in time and your lives will be nine. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1679 Try it! I've got ten thousand rounds in this spool. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1680 ...He had a thorn, and you have a splinter -- THAT'S why I need to use needle 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1681 All your hissing didn't make it any easier to thread the needle. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1682 Trust me with this. I've traced my genealogy all the way back to Androcles. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1683 Alright...I get it! Mittens for the other two and opera gloves for you 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1684 Honey, we're gonna need the crewel for this one. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1685 Go fetch me your sock toy please. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1686 My name is not Tim and you are not Garfield. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1687 Good boy. Now do that when the dog comes. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1688 You're not following the social contract. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1689 S'cuse me. When did yarn become your enemy? 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
1690 It's called a Brobdingnagian Standoff. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1691 Kevin's growth-stunting coffee habit put him at a clear disadvantage during his vacation to Texas. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1692 Hey, scream all you want. A ball of twine takes time. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1693 You're aggravating my allergies. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1694 You're trying too hard. The ferociousness should come naturally to be believable. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1695 I'm learning how to do it from scratch! 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1696 The year is 2100. Cats have evolved to harness the power of their online presence. 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
1697 Listen, I'm doing the best I can! Stop calling me Stuart and do it yourself! 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
1698 what will I do when you go into heat? 1.1481 0.03434 108 92 16 0
1699 George RR Martin's adaption of Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves is perhaps a little grittier than the original. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1700 The name is Little, Stuart Little. 1.1481 0.03434 108 92 16 0
1701 Curiosity kills the cat, right? 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1702 I'll hem , you continue to haw. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1703 "Honey, the kids shrunk me!' 1.1481 0.04326 108 96 8 4
1704 Do you feel lucky? Well do ya punk? 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1705 Sewing and embroidery really helped me with my anger management issues. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1706 Hey! Ever hear of David and Goliath? 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1707 Don't worry… you'll just feel a little pinch… 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1708 If I prick your paw, will you go to sleep too? 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1709 Practice being a lion. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1710 It's only fair to warn you; I know kung fu. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1711 Crap, not again. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1712 Sir, I just didn't think the tails would suit you. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1713 I don't suppose I could interest you in a cradle? 1.1481 0.04326 108 96 8 4
1714 Would you be happier if I pulled out a thorn? 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1715 Let's get to the point, you are my pet. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1716 Don't be a scaredy cat, It's not a Cat scan. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1717 This experience would really come in handy at a Google interview. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1718 You can dish it out but can't take it. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1719 My name's Tom. Who are you? 1.1481 0.03434 108 92 16 0
1720 Calm down, it's just a small pinprick you big pussy cat. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1721 Stop trying to needle mee 1.1481 0.04326 108 96 8 4
1722 Blowing it out or proportion? Who, me? 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1723 I get the feeling this debate will be very one-sided. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1724 For the last time, I've never even been to Gloucester! 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1725 You'll realize I'm trying to help you once you stop thinking with your amygdala. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1726 It's a quick and mostly painless procedure. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1727 Sigfried and Roy would have sold you for cat food. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1728 Release one mouse as a show of good faith, and we'll see about getting you that catnip and twine. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1729 How can losing a button lead to this? 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1730 No,you can't change your mind - just turn around ,a few stitches and it's done 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1731 Do I need to inform you of the provisions of the Second Amendment? 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1732 I need more raw material for the fur ball sweater 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1733 Look, it's this or hair plugs. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1734 a stitch is not going to help you this time fella 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1735 Just remember... I'm the one that hid the Catnip... 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1736 Gosh...I shouldn't have adopted a stray human 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1737 Back to your corner, kitty! 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1738 Wait! Let me tell you a little story... 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1739 Yet again debunking the proverbial 'stitch in time' theory. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1740 Oh No!" whined Pitty Patrick in deflated dismay. " Honey, we were supposed to shrink the Kitty! 1.1481 0.04522 108 97 6 5
1741 Maybe it's time to stop washing my clothes in catnip. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1742 I am NOT some piece of yarn. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1743 Eye of the needle--and wise man--be damned. I want my Kibble NOW! 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1744 It might have been a cat's cradle, but it unspooled a creature feature. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1745 I don't know about you, but the size of this needle gives me paws. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1746 No I won't do it. I'm not changing your litter box. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1747 Why the negative attitude? You ran the house when I was bigger than you! It appears you are still in charge. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1748 We've been over this! I'm first chair! 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1749 "I'm just itchin' to be stichin'. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1750 I am not Androclese and you are _not_ a lion. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1751 Don't make me sew you. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1752 Relax, Mongo. You're sweater'll be ready in one week. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1753 Don't worry - a stitch in time saves nine lives. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1754 I suppose it is a little strange to have such a large sewing kit. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1755 I want you to be polite and domestic 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1756 Just stay calm and we'll get that splinter in no time. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1757 Aaaaaasssh!!! This catnip is crazy!!!!! 1.1481 0.04522 108 97 6 5
1758 Stand back!! All I asked was "how are your anger management classes going?" 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1759 I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to changing the kitty litter, but I've had a lot on my mind lately. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1760 I now regret this decision. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1761 I'll put the needle down if you quit feeding me kale. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1762 It's not catnip. It's my aftershave. 1.1481 0.03434 108 92 16 0
1763 Got it - you don't need the mittens after all. Maybe a new pair of pajamas then? 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1764 A stitch in time doesn't save nine lives, so back off. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1765 The deplorables stole the basket 1.1481 0.04522 108 97 6 5
1766 When your cat thinks they run the world 1.1481 0.03434 108 92 16 0
1767 One more step, and I'll introduce you to the whale we brought home in the back seat - and that snake from the office! 1.1481 0.04326 108 96 8 4
1768 OK, OK, I'll raise the hem a little. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1769 I'm thinking the kitty litter is gargantuan. 1.1481 0.03434 108 92 16 0
1770 If you don't help me find the Expandomatic™, I'm going to sew you, Buttons! 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1771 I've already warned you, Larry. Don't thread on me. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1772 You call that a needle? 1.1468 0.04086 109 96 10 3
1773 Down girl! 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1774 Poetic justice for declawing. 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1775 You don't scare me, you're just a big pussy cat 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1776 . . . and by the way, don't call me Ishmael. 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1777 "Seriously..I'm not half the mouse you think I am"! 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1778 I say you're no Puss in Boots and I'm not Stuart Little. 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1779 Needless to say, you cannot infringe upon my 2nd amendment right to bear arms. 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1780 You can't fool me! That's not a laser pointer! 1.1468 0.04482 109 98 6 5
1781 I swear I'm not a mouse - I'm just a beta male. 1.1455 0.03615 110 95 14 1
1782 OK - now let's go get that mouse! 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1783 So where did you get the Magic Sand? 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1784 No, it's NOT unbelievable that my pants still fit---I'm a damn good tailor. 1.1402 0.03372 107 92 15 0
1785 Now that the cat's out of the bag, let's stitch it up! 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1786 If you've got a better toothpick, I'm all for it. 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1787 That wasn't a real mouse--it was my pin cushion. 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1788 why should I get things at Costco? 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1789 Fine. YOU try making tiny clothes. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1790 "Yes Luna...I can see that they're as sharp as needles, but I still can't sew with them can I? 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1791 Okay, OKAY! Just the tongue though... 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1792 Back off, kitty--this Brave Little Tailor is a man, not a mouse. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1793 You see, I'm the Incredible Shrinking Man. By the time I hit your stomach I'll be less than a biteful! 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1794 Calm down, it's a sewing needle not a hypodermic needle. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1795 You're no problem but the spider is up next and I'll even be smaller. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1796 In a few minutes, I'll be a footman, but first I have a ball dress to sew. 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1797 Now, now, don't be a pussy... 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1798 I just fed you ten minutes ago 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1799 The point of this training was ... obedience . 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1800 Now that I've been mysteriously shrunk, I find taxidermy much more thrilling. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1801 I bet this was on the terms and conditions on your adoption form wasn't it? 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1802 There's got to be an easier way to thread a needle. 1.1402 0.04493 107 97 5 5
1803 If you don't eat me, then I promise not to sew another sweater for you. 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1804 Trust me, it's not gonna be as much fun if the cartoonist draws me larger. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1805 See? I was telling the truth when I said I had a weapon of mass destruction. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1806 I should have gone into microsurgery. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1807 I am just saying it COULD be just as hard to find a needle in the kitty litter as in a haystack! 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1808 What a prick, eh! 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1809 Cat gut your tongue? 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1810 Are you sure you're a vet? 1.1402 0.04292 107 96 7 4
1811 Yet another discarded sketch by Michaelangelo before he settled on the final version of the "Creation of Adam." 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1812 And in this dramatic photo we witness Tom Thumbs struggle with fluffy his cat. 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1813 There is nothing more satisfying than taming a pussy. 1.1402 0.04292 107 96 7 4
1814 Your coat will look brand new when I finish. Now put down that paw and stop acting like a pussy ! 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1815 If I had nine lives, I'd take that stitch-in-time thing pretty seriously. 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1816 Can't we talk about this? 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1817 This is why other cats wear tennis shoes. 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1818 I still have a bigger brain than yours. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1819 Remember that old saying, "A stitch in time and you are a dead cat." 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1820 OK, I'll stop singing, "Sew, a needle pulling thread," if you stop spewing out those oversized fur balls. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1821 Patience Mittens, I'm making your ball of yarn right now! Now go find that really big mouse in the meantime. 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1822 Precious, I know you think I'm a little prick. 1.1402 0.04292 107 96 7 4
1823 But you were my favorite character on the "Sopranos." 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1824 You should be aware that my therapist has yet to cure my 'disproportionate' reaction to stress. 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1825 What's the matter, a cat got your tongue? 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1826 Relax, will you? A 30-foot-tall ball of yarn isn't going to knit itself. 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1827 Oh, so NOW you complain I don't play fair! 1.1402 0.03372 107 92 15 0
1828 Laugh again, little man, at "the stupid kitty who goes crazy chasing the fake mouse." 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1829 I don't suppose you've ever stopped to wonder how we got into this ridiculous situation in the first place? 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1830 You're no Alice? Well, I'm no Cheshire cat. 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1831 No, no! Cats are supposed to LOVE playing with strings!! 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1832 Pansy, this is the last time you are going to scratch that couch! 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
1833 If you keep acting up I will not sew your tail on. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1834 I know it's hard to believe but Androcles is my real name, now sit still please. 1.1389 0.03826 108 95 11 2
1835 Don't even think about it! 1.1389 0.03593 108 94 13 1
1836 Get back Butch! I may be shrinking, but I am incredible. 1.1389 0.03826 108 95 11 2
1837 A stitch in time saves nine lives? No? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1838 I thought we had an agreement: I thread the needle and you knit yourself a new owner. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1839 You are in big trouble, human, if you screw with my spool. 1.1333 0.04294 105 95 6 4
1840 Have you seen anyone around my size? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1841 You play on the life size Noah's Ark in Kentucky, you're gonna get a splinter. Now deal with it! 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1842 Splinter? You're on your own, big boy. 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1843 This is what I call a "heightened situation"! 1.1333 0.04294 105 95 6 4
1844 Maybe a little breath freshener would bring you more friends. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1845 Spare me. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1846 I just have this feeling that if I help you get this splinter out, I'll be glad later on. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1847 Now Now Now... Be nice... After all I'm the human who feeds you & changes your litter box... 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1848 It's three small sutures ... such a pussy. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1849 Nine lives minus two eyes--I like my chances. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1850 Darn it, stop arguing about the election-- no one has sewed it up yet. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1851 You can't eat me. I'm a special effect. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1852 I can get that thorn out of your paw. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1853 C'mon, Pandora, get back in your box. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1854 Moments like this are a test whether I need a gun license or not. 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1855 Yes, Republicans for Clinton, you may feel a slight sting. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1856 The Tailor of Pawnama 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1857 The hardest part is over; I already threaded the needle. Now all I have to do is sew the mittens and put them on her paws. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1858 You have the advantage here! 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1859 Listen... I know I'm small, but I can still take a few of those nine lives before all is said and done. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1860 I was simply going to sew a button on my shirt but you make everything about you. Reverse this spell immediately! 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1861 You are confusing Tom Thumb with Stuart Little. 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1862 Stop knit-picking. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1863 I need to be thimble. 1.1333 0.04502 105 96 4 5
1864 fine, I. willing to accept that the diy home spaying project is off the table 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1865 I've had it with your attitude - it's time you took my point seriously! 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1866 Snitches get stitches. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1867 I told you I wanted cuffs on the rear paws only 1.1333 0.04294 105 95 6 4
1868 Enough of String Theory! I need to bring you down to earthy dimensions. 1.1333 0.04502 105 96 4 5
1869 I'm going in to rescue the other skeins. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1870 Hold still, I'm doing my best to get that thorn out. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1871 I was thinking it would be more Sprinkles and less Goliath 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1872 You're the one who crossed your heart, and hoped to die... 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1873 OK, ok, I will get you back in the cradle with your silver spoon. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1874 I needle little help here! 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1875 No. It just doesn't make sense for you to play the Gulliver part. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1876 Now listen here, you've pussy-footed around this for long enough. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1877 Sometimes you just make me feel so little. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1878 Back off - you know how you hate injections. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1879 ... and Jonah says, "Hey, the script says leviathan, not grimalkin." 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1880 Have you seen my little chair? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1881 Put down the needle! You're not a licensed acupuncturist! 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1882 I settled for thread. Yarn was too expensive. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1883 Less eye of the tiger, more eye of the needle, please. 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1884 Listen, Bub-find my catnip mouse PRONTO or you're gonna wish that needle was a wand! 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1885 Our fortunes seem to have reversed since I drop-kicked you that time... 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1886 Hy, chill! I was just needling ya'. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1887 I'm just trying to save your lives. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1888 I was joking when I said I could fix that threadbare coat of yours, OK? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1889 Mr. Cat, the media insists you're missing the point. Your thoughts? 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1890 Don't worry, kitty, it's not a catgut suture. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1891 I should have been nice to Bella while I was alive! 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1892 This should keep you in stitches! 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1893 It's my right claw. I think one of the pads is falling off. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1894 I suddenly feel short sighted. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1895 Being a taxidermist is not all it's sewn up to be.... 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1896 You're not a camel, so don't even think about it. 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1897 You'll be happier once I close the wound. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1898 You understand, I have no medical degree. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1899 I can haz smalls mann 1.1333 0.04502 105 96 4 5
1900 I'll only drop it for a treat! 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1901 Yarn, dammit! I said yarn! 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1902 I know we've been on pins and needles lately, but let's work this out. 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1903 Really, pin the needle? Do I look like a donkey to you? 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1904 Don't forget I am still the one paying for your food. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1905 Again. Where's the goose? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1906 Whose claws aren't so big now, huh? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1907 How about we try mending fences? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1908 maybe I can remove that piece of broccoli in your teeth with this. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1909 Keep these toes extended when you swipe! 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1910 I regret everything. Please, I'll let you inside and outside as much as you want. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1911 I said OK, I'll recite "Hey deedle deedle, the cat and the needle" again! 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1912 But you love a good nip. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1913 With his life hanging by a thread, he said: - Hey, let's paws and avoid this needless violence. 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1914 You may be a tom cat, but I'm Tom Thumb! 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1915 I'm your new costume designer for your off Broadway production. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1916 A stitch in time saves 9, now you have 18 or is it still 9? 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1917 You're not what I wished for. Did the genie string you along too? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1918 Alteration Kit 1.1333 0.04502 105 96 4 5
1919 This has been quite the taxidermic undertaking. Perhaps a mouse would've made more sense. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1920 Oh, that's so cute...so #%&*ing cute. 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1921 ...The flea circus can't even get us a chair, or uniform, or a proper pedestal, let alone a gilded cage -- but fine, I promise I'll ask again about the diamond-studded collar. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1922 Easy, easy kitty, a stitch in time gives you 9 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1923 But a stitch in time saves nine. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1924 Haven't you ever read 'Androcles and the Lion'? 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1925 When I was big and you were small, I had a better sense of perspective about it. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1926 No, I'm sewing them back ON, now. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1927 From hell's heart, I stab at thee... 1.1333 0.04294 105 95 6 4
1928 I'm a man, not a mouse, so don't needle me. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1929 Nice pussy. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1930 Now, now. We agreed today was my day for the thread. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1931 I'm looking for a really big sweater. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1932 A stitch in time will save your nine lives 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1933 " Damn , I mean darn you cat " . 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1934 You. Shall Not. Pass....Mr. Timmy 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1935 Neutered? Me? Ow! 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1936 Calm down. You know what they say a stitch in time saves 9 lives. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1937 Relax, Buddy. It's just a short trip to the vet. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1938 Ok, ok... no more "mittens for kittens" references. Now will you hold still? 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1939 Did you say 'meow' or 'stop needling me'? 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1940 So taxidermy is out of the question. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1941 Don't needle me, little man, or I'll put the thimble over your puny body. 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1942 Whose Master's Voice? 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1943 Sew? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1944 This caption won't ever get seen so, FART FART FART FART! 1.1333 0.04502 105 96 4 5
1945 Why do you always take what I say so litter-ally? 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1946 Hold still, Kitty. It's the only way I can get the splinter out. 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1947 My friends call me 'Little Androcles.' 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1948 Oh Oh. It worked in Aesop's Fable with the Lion. 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1949 Maybe he said to only take 3 pills and not 13 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1950 Yikes! I just said, 'Down, boy,' didn't I? 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1951 Don't needle me man! 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1952 Calm down, it's just a needle and thread. 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1953 Not so eager to begin taxidermy? 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1954 I am stuffed! 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1955 I'm Thumbelina's furrier, and we were wondering if you wouldn't mind.... 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
1956 They laughed when the Thumbs supported open carry. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
1957 "Put that down." It's Mrs. Bunyan's. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1958 Yeah, well I'm still a lot smarter than you. 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1959 It worked for sleeping beauty didn't it? 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1960 Wait! How could you forget you and I watched 'Ant Man' together? 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
1961 Easy, Junior. We're both going to have to try to adapt. 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
1962 Sewwww, Project Catwalk is not what I expected. 1.1321 0.03809 106 94 10 2
1963 You've made a few good points there. 1.1308 0.03776 107 95 10 2
1964 Don't needle the cat Frank; he'll take you in a single swipe! 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1965 I think we are at an impasse. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1966 I think they're outsourcing CAT scans again. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
1967 Really dude! 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1968 I'm in a good position to need stitches anyways. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
1969 I should never have fed you Trump's new ego-boosting cat formula! 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
1970 I hope I have nine lives. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
1971 But I can't reach the toilet. I promise I'll change the litter next time. 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
1972 If you were a dog, we'd still be cool with each other. 1.1262 0.03288 103 90 13 0
1973 I always suspected you were a domestic........terrorist 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1974 So, you REALLY want to NEEDLE ME!! 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1975 I was going to knit you a scarf, I swear! 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1976 I'll need a 30 mm inseam on those pants, and don't forget the cuffs. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1977 Here Spot! Here Boy! 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
1978 Calm down Donald. All that I am trying to do is to sew your taxes together with the stuff in your litter box. 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
1979 I know, I know, but we're talking ANOTHER nine. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1980 Bring it on, Catnip. I think your bark is worse than your bite.... 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
1981 It's just so hard to teach an old cat new tricks. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
1982 And I have eight more that are just as lethal! 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
1983 Finding himself hanging by a thread Brad yells, "Help meow-t!!" 1.1262 0.04509 103 95 3 5
1984 I must have cataracts. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1985 Was it 'a stitch in time saves nine?' or 'a cat has nine lives?' Either way - oh hell. 1.1262 0.03288 103 90 13 0
1986 I asked my liberal friend to politicize this. Even he struggled... 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
1987 Say cheese yourself 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
1988 Well a stitch in time saves nine, so bring it big guy. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1989 What if I said it was for Itzhak Perlman's violin? 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1990 When I became the incredible shrinking man this was not how I intended to feed you 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
1991 We illiputians love cats 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
1992 I understand your point purrfectly. 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
1993 In Soviet Russia you don't own the cat, the cat owns you. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
1994 I wish I had my laser guided needle. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
1995 Ever see the movie Honey, I Shrunk the Kids…well this one goes: Honey, this is the last time you forget our anniversary. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
1996 Let's see how You like being neutered 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
1997 Okay! All right! We'll get a divorce! 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1998 That's right, it's gonna be you-ow when I'm back to size! 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
1999 I don't work with yarn. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2000 I said Borrower not borrow fur. 1.1262 0.04509 103 95 3 5
2001 And when you awake, you’ll be nice and calm. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2002 I'm a pussy when it comes to needles. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2003 Come on, just swat it. It's not sharp; trust me. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2004 Oh, so you don't like it either. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2005 Go chase a mouse and leave me alone... scat! 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2006 I am sure you said mittens. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2007 I still don't understand Twitter. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2008 It's your cuticles. 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
2009 These Pinterest projects are getting to be unbelievable. 1.1262 0.03288 103 90 13 0
2010 Okay. I will sew you a mouse before I hem these pants. 1.1262 0.03288 103 90 13 0
2011 I shrunk the KIDS, not the kittens, I swear! 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2012 Down, Tabby! I said I didn't like FAT cats. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2013 No, no, I said I have to put a few extra stitches in my big hat. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2014 Given that I've got gout, thrush, hemorrhoids, and a nasty, itchy rash, would you like to rethink this? 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2015 I've got to finish my sewing. You go and play. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2016 We'll see which one of us needs stitches! 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2017 Scardy Cat, Scardy Cat! 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2018 Now take your silver spoon and go back to your cradle! 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
2019 My old man shrank me but I'm gonna show you who's boss around here. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2020 I should never have adopted you. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2021 Okay, I won't hurt you, but first, promise me you will stop trying to eat me. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2022 I'm not sure why I thought my being smaller would make you listen to me. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2023 My wife's pussy is bigger & badder than you and I've whipped it with my little needle. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2024 Wait a minute! Who's supposed to be the endangered species? 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2025 Who’s a kitty? Who’s a kitty with a big big scratch-a-belly? Who’s a? 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2026 Anywhere but here, kitty kitty kitty! 1.1262 0.03288 103 90 13 0
2027 Stop needling me 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2028 Ok. You don't have to wear the sweater I knitted. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2029 Oh, stop being a big pussy! 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2030 But I am the only one who can unfix you. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2031 Just my luck that when I finally thread the needle, the cat's out of the bag. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2032 Glad you like the pajamas. High-fives aren't necessary. 1.1262 0.03288 103 90 13 0
2033 I must point out to you that there's not much meat on my body. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2034 Now that's enough Gulliver, you can spin some more yarn in the morning! 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2035 I should have never gone to that Zoltar magical wishing machine. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2036 That disquieting moment when an American cat realizes it should've bought a gun. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2037 Don't bother. There's nothing left to 'mend.' 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2038 "Can't you see, I am not a mouse. I'm a little guy with a big heart. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2039 The video made this seem like a good idea when I saw it on the web. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2040 Feed me. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2041 I feel belittled and needle little help 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2042 If you continue to refuse to work with me, I'm going back to full size and tie you down! 1.1262 0.03288 103 90 13 0
2043 Size doesn't matter; I've always been the boss! 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2044 Let's call a truce. After the spell, my heart's not really in taxidermy anymore. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2045 Slower, Pussycat! Chill! Chill! 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2046 Look, I know you're pissed-off because I cut your balls off, but I have to sew you up, now. It's for the best. You'll thank me, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but... Aw, come on---don't be a pussy. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2047 Stop needling me. Can't you see I'm sew sensitive 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2048 I knew I couldn't hide in that thimble forever. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2049 The best I can do right now is a ball of thread. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2050 Oh, yeah? That darn cat again? 1.1262 0.03288 103 90 13 0
2051 I had this dream that they took away my guns AND my sewing machines. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2052 On guard, you big pussycat 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2053 Because, I don't feel like sewing a leather cat suit for you! 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2054 Be warned pussycat, my wife has got claws. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2055 Alice said you're supposed to have a big smile. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2056 Harpoon in post-whaling world 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2057 When the moons in the sky like a big pizza pie, that's curare. 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
2058 C'mon. Just give me three days to try and reverse this thing. Then it'll be fresh liver and pilchards for life, I promise. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2059 Of course size matters. But trust me, sewing will get you at least another million views. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2060 Call me Ishmael. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2061 I think I went a size too small. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2062 Ok I'm sorry! We will definitely go to the other vet even though he doesn't take our insurance. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2063 Bad time to ask, I know, but could you check to make sure the DVR is still recording Game of Thrones? 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2064 There kitty kitty kitty. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2065 Come'on, just a yard. It will grow back. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2066 All of my vet school debt was for nothing! 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2067 If you leap, I will sew! 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2068 So "Gulliver's Cats" doesn't quite get a green light? 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2069 See? How does it feel to have our roles reversed? 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2070 You called about a tooth taht needs to be pulled? 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2071 That's it, I'm laying off the spicy fish tacos. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
2072 Your kidding, Right? 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2073 Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2074 This isn't quite what I meant when I said "I dream of being a lion tamer"..... 1.1250 0.04027 104 94 7 3
2075 Kitty, before you swipe, let me prey. 1.1250 0.03534 104 92 11 1
2076 Oh no, you've had your nine lives 1.1250 0.04253 104 95 5 4
2077 A stitch in time saves nine lives so don't eat me. 1.1250 0.03789 104 93 9 2
2078 You can huff and you can puff,but I'll stick you with my piny pin pin! 1.1250 0.03789 104 93 9 2
2079 Why does Gulliver's cat need a sweater? 1.1250 0.03259 104 91 13 0
2080 The last great act of defiance. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2081 Enough with the needling already! We agreed: I do the hunting, you do the hemming. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2082 Storage Box #1 Bar Code #1 Microfilm #1 Interim Billing? 87-16 "Tom Thumb's final moments." 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2083 Sorry, Kitty, we are totally out of steroids. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2084 Darn, I knew I should have taken up knitting! 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2085 Gullipurr's Travels 1.1188 0.04288 101 93 4 4
2086 Fluffy, I'm going to stop you with my generic Epi Pen. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2087 Put down your weapon and or I will stuff you in the thimble. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2088 Ever seen "That Darn Cat?" 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2089 Just relax, I've never had a problem I couldn't sew myself out of 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2090 Your coat needs a little tailoring. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2091 Yes, I had you spayed, but handling that medication had side effects -obviously!! 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2092 I am trying to help, don't be such a fraidy cat! 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2093 The headline read, "A Catnap Turned Deadly." 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2094 Don't blame me just because the store was out of kitty litter. 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2095 In my heart I was always Bob, never Tinkerbell 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2096 And this little piggy ran all the way where? 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2097 Now you'll know how I feel when you scratch me you big stupid cat! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2098 I dreamed your mother is coming for a visit. 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2099 Voodoo Shmoodoo. The only reason I haven't eaten you yet is because you said you could sew me up a Carolina jersey. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2100 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. I'm going to fucking vote for Hillary, OK? Relax. And don't act like I have some obligation to pretend to be excited about her. 'Cause I'm not. I'm just not. Like, not at all. 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2101 Honest. I was just going to devise a fishing pole to catch us some fish. 1.1188 0.04288 101 93 4 4
2102 I clawed a rip in the drapes for a REASON! It was blocking my view of the birds. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2103 I'll use this, I thread you not. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2104 No big deal, it's just your manhood. 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2105 Trust me, kitty, I'm no Androcles. I WILL hurt you! 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2106 I thought Lewis Carroll magic died with him! 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2107 Think twice, big mama has just stepped away for a moment and she really likes me. 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2108 how does this keep happing? 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2109 They greenlighted ‘Honey, I shrunk the Haberdasher’ but passed on ‘That Darned Cat’. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2110 Ip Sew Cat Sew 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2111 So what happened to the camel? 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2112 Sew, can we hit the paws button. 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2113 Far, a long long way to run. I forgot the next line. Give me a hint 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2114 Tell me again. Your degree in surgery from was where? 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2115 Be a good boy or I’ll get Siegfried 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2116 So you don't like me calling you , thimble, spooly or snippers. How about Toast? 1.1188 0.04513 101 94 2 5
2117 Back off or she will make YOU a Halloween costume. 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2118 Sorry, but you have to stay perfectly still if you want your fursuit to fit just right. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2119 Limit the 2nd amendment and our society will go to the dogs. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2120 Trust me. I may look small, but I can sew up your curiosity. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2121 Tomorrow, you're Costco's problem! 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2122 Do not fold, spindle or mutilate, my ass! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2123 We can do this the hard way or the easy way. Quit peeing in my sandbox! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2124 Alice... I thought you said "White R-A-B-B-I-T !!! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2125 You want me to stitch what? 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2126 'Did you ever read Moby Dick?' 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2127 Honey, can you call the Crazy Cat Lady in the Shoe again?! 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2128 Do I look like a mouse? 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2129 "So, you're not buying 'a stitch in time saves one'? 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2130 So, this is how you really see me, huh?! 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2131 Believe me, I know how to thread the needle. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2132 Don't be such a ... coward. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2133 Make it count Tom, this is his last life. 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2134 You've played with a lot of string in your time, haven't you. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2135 A stitch in time saves nine? Next you'll be telling me how the early bird gets the worm. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2136 I can stop the limp! 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2137 Life just ain't as thimble as it used to be 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2138 Expecto Patronum! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2139 Nice kitty-very, very, very nice kitty. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2140 Relax. It was a camel, not a cat, that couldn't go through the eye of a needle. 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2141 I called him a pussy but he's really just a prick. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2142 No need to be a fraidy cat. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2143 I told you I'm not buying that fancy cat food 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2144 Now hold on. You told me to wish for anything. Do you understand now that size matters? 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2145 I'm a protected species. I've reverse evolved. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2146 A domesticated cat would wear a thimble! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2147 I knew I should not have used the thimble for Monopoly 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2148 i keep trying to tell you - i'm making the mittens. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2149 Back off, or your next stitch in time will lose you nine. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2150 How am I supposed to get any mending done when you are staring at me like that. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2151 I promise you it won't hurt! 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2152 New York Fashion Week critics were enormously catty this year. 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2153 You say that your mitten is not lost but it needs a stitch? 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2154 Well THIS is an unflattering metaphor for my penis! 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2155 Watch out, I have frightened-person-holding-a-needle-like reflexes. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2156 I'm sorry. But I'm not Androcles. And you're not the lion. So if I ever survive this encounter, YOU'LL have ME in stitches! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2157 Sewing lesson #1, don!t stick yourself . 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2158 Hey, you can't blame the mini for the actions of a few. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2159 So you know, I'm more into the S than the M. 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2160 Do re meow fa so la... 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2161 It's a stitch in time and you already have nine; I'm asking for just one. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2162 Hey, I may be the Incredible Shrinking Man, but that doesn't give you the right to go all 'puma' on me! 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2163 Jack be nimble and Jack be quick!!! 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2164 The Cat and the Incredible Shrinking Man finally came to an agreement. Two mice per day. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2165 Shouldn't your people talk to my people before this gets out of hand? 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2166 Yes, but Me Ow is just what you asked for, right? 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2167 Sure was a bad day to put catnip in my pants. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2168 Have you seen a ball of yellow yarn? 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2169 No more just playing with balls of yarn: It's high time you started doing a little sewing for me! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2170 Look, I know this is your favorite game, but it's way too dangerous - you could get hurt... 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2171 Its payback time for eating all my sweaters 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2172 A stitch in time may save nine; a needle in the paw compensates my being small 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2173 I know. I saw that movie, too. And the cat doesn't get the incredible shrinking man. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2174 Now try it with the thimble. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2175 Really, try to have a positive outlook? I can't even turn things around in my dreams. 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2176 This is NOT Alice's Wonderland! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2177 I'm sorry you're upset - I asked for your help because T.S. Eliot told me you were the practical kind. 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2178 Feel Steinbeck's point in "Of Mice and Men." 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2179 Cat: "Don't try to needle your way out of this" 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2180 So, you want a Donald Trump costume for Halloween. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2181 I CAN HEAR MY ANALYST NOW... 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2182 Me and the rest of the Lilliputians joined Garment Maker's Union Local 31. You feelin' me? 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2183 Go ahead - make my crochet. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2184 Hey, relax kitty. This stitch in time will save you nine later! 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
2185 Sorry. I've always been a doggie fan. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2186 Wait! Can I get some catnip before you try this? 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2187 I just flossed my Great Dane. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2188 I am NOT going to wear that silly bell around my neck. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2189 I said I'm sorry. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2190 Who's the bad kitty who got into my HGH? 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
2191 Misinterpretation of the Modern Rags-To-Riches Mentality: Sew The Company's Big Cat 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2192 Needling the kitty gets you a swat! 1.1176 0.04013 102 93 6 3
2193 If I sew you a ball of yarn, will you leave me alone? 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
2194 Don't play with food! 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
2195 OK, 60/40 split on the sweaters, but I need that fur NOW. 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
2196 Hold still while I weave on your winter coat. 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
2197 My name is Catawampus and you are a human from the planet earth. 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
2198 It's amazing how playtime with my knitting can turn us both into psychopathic lunatics. 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
2199 How many times must I remind you, your princess kitty halloween costume WILL be done on time! 1.1176 0.03206 102 90 12 0
2200 Okay, I see your point. Can I stop playing with the yarn now? 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
2201 I warn you! I have a great cat lawyer. Raymond Purr! 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
2202 I'll have you know that my nickname is "hairball." 1.1165 0.03463 103 92 10 1
2203 I guess I've spun one yarn too many. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2204 Billy, I'm in no mood to be pussy footing around what's at stake today. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2205 All stuffed and sewn up for perpetuity. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2206 I'm morally opposed to altering your coat. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2207 No way! I haven't recovered from the last time I cleaned the letterbox! 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2208 We're trying a mash-up of domestic comedy and giant monster movie. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2209 Hey,don't blame me if I'm trying to capitalize on your gigantic fur balls. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2210 Enough with the phony purring. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2211 En garde! Only one foil, s'il vous plait. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2212 Honey, your new sculpture is really menacing, to say the least! 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2213 Must not make lizard noises... 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2214 I thought you liked it. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2215 Be a good kitten; I'll make you mittens! 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2216 You know, I am glad you made me give up knitting. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2217 No more kitty, kitty- get the point!! 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2218 We've been over this. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2219 IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2220 If you'd only use the thimble, you'd stop poking your paw and might even enjoy sewing! 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2221 What's wrong with your fur coat? 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2222 Believe me, if I don't stitch your cut, you'll have a nasty scar. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2223 So many cats. So few recipes. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2224 Honey, it's official: Mr. Tibbs' ninth life is his last. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2225 Can I use your litter box? 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2226 Let me sew up our differences. 1.1100 0.03994 100 92 5 3
2227 I don't care if my language reminds you of your first wife- to me, your mousy. 1.1100 0.03994 100 92 5 3
2228 GOTTCHA 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2229 Think of it as a little harpoon. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2230 Who's pussy now? 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2231 It's either this or you never go outside again. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2232 Sharp, isn't it? 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2233 I see the cat doesn't have your tongue. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2234 I already tried lion taming. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2235 What other cat owner would play Androcles and the Lion with their cat? 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2236 Look - I don't have my phone - I swear I'm not going to post this. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2237 A stitch in time will not save nine this time. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2238 Hey relax, I'm just borrowing it. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2239 My common sense seems to have shrunk as well. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2240 Stay still or I won't be able to get that sliver out. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2241 Well, how was I supposed to know that you wanted the stole trimmed in ermine? 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2242 Rehearsing at the Metropolitan Opera 1.1100 0.03994 100 92 5 3
2243 You're Moby Dick and I'm Ahab. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2244 I know you hated the vet, Coco, but please have mercy! 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2245 Find your own toy. I'm exercising my right to spear yarns. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2246 My name is Androcles-what's yours? 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2247 That happens every time you sit on the pin cushion. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2248 Laugh it up, Fuzz Ball. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2249 I'm not anybody's food...get the point? 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2250 Don't be such a baby. It's just a little sliver. You shouldn't have been scratching the teak table leg. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2251 just tell me where the gold is! 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2252 Cinderella's dress making mice slapped this needle and thread in my hands and then ran like hell. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2253 This moment really could hurt me more than it hurts you. 1.1100 0.03994 100 92 5 3
2254 This dream has gone a little to far. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2255 I’ll pick your snacks up tomorrow. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2256 If I take the stitches out, will the cat disappear? 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2257 You get in the cup if you're so brave! 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2258 All pussy cats hate a small prick. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2259 Uh Barbie, we've got a problem... the cat wants to play 'dolls!' 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2260 Hey, if you prick me I bleed 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2261 Why do you automatically assume I meant your fur? 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2262 Great, I found the needle and now THIS. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2263 So we agree. No claws, no teeth, just needles allowed. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2264 Don't let the size of my hands fool ya! 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2265 "I think you've had too much catnip,Harry Chapin Jr.". 1.1100 0.03994 100 92 5 3
2266 Stop! No! Or that's my last yarning! 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2267 Relax, it's Causal Friday. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2268 Now Kitty, remember all those extra treats I gave you?! 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2269 C'mon, Pussy! 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2270 Hold on while I find my glasses, Tiger. 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2271 How did you do that? 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2272 But you said you needed a small alteration. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2273 I assure you that I has nothing to do with that ridiculous Christmas sweater 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2274 Don't blame me for what Donald trump called Ted Cruz. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2275 Now, say " I love dogs". 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2276 I shouldn't have to defend my point with you. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2277 I'm afraid not - the ball of yarn stays. Might I interest you in something shiny? 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
2278 If you think of all of this rationally, you'll see it as a no-win situation. 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2279 Settle down, I don't think you're getting the point 1.1100 0.03145 100 89 11 0
2280 Sometimes only catnip will work. 1.1089 0.03418 101 91 9 1
2281 Being your tailor keeps me on pins and needles. 1.1089 0.03697 101 92 7 2
2282 I thought you said you wanted a new sweater? 1.1089 0.03418 101 91 9 1
2283 I'm not here to be a thorn on your side . in just here to get the thorn in your paw 1.1089 0.03955 101 93 5 3
2284 You'll have to do better than "I swear." 1.1089 0.03697 101 92 7 2
2285 Wake up! Its late. 1.1089 0.03115 101 90 11 0
2286 No more fooling around with my ball of yarn! 1.1078 0.03386 102 92 9 1
2287 I may have used that term. Actually, I'm looking for my damned dog. 1.1078 0.03386 102 92 9 1
2288 I only need a hem, no cuffs. 1.1078 0.03386 102 92 9 1
2289 I always knew I didn't like you. 1.1078 0.03086 102 91 11 0
2290 Do you believe in karma, by any chance? 1.1078 0.03662 102 93 7 2
2291 Look PAL, I think between the two of us it's YOU who should know what cat tailors DO. 1.1078 0.03662 102 93 7 2
2292 Your money or your nine lives 1.1068 0.03355 103 93 9 1
2293 Time to press the pause button. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2294 For some people, the cat is easy to see. Others don't see it at all. Some people say the cat is tame. Others say it's vicious and dangerous. Since no one can really be sure who's right, isn't it smart to be as strong as the cat? If there is a cat." 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2295 OK, we've got about nine weeks to get ready for Macy's. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2296 I thought you liked needling? 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2297 Tiny tailor or titan tabby is besde the point; who's the pet here? 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2298 I don't believe a stitch in time saves nine! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2299 Frankly, what I said is, 'I need a skein of yarn,' not 'I have a vein to darn.' 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2300 Seriously, they say a stitch in time... 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2301 OK, I won't try your cat-weed again 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2302 Don't holler. I'm working on your cushion. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2303 Hi I'm little Marco and I'm giving you the needle 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2304 So not only sows, but apparently you can't make a silk purse out of a cat's ear. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2305 I thought you always liked the sweaters I sew you 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2306 You're going to hate yourself when you wake up. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2307 This guy's a real prick. 1.1020 0.03970 98 91 4 3
2308 Hey, don't blame me. The CDC says not to pet you. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2309 Of course you get free shipping on returns. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2310 Sir, I'm afraid I won't be able to mend your coat if you don't stop moving right meow. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2311 You can either kill me or forgive me. The choice is yours. 1.1020 0.03970 98 91 4 3
2312 I knew this "Night at the Museum" movie is a documentary! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2313 What? 1.1020 0.03970 98 91 4 3
2314 Sure, the thorn is in your right paw. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2315 catgut indeed! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2316 "Grrrrrrrrr! My Yarn! You can't have it! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! 1.1020 0.03970 98 91 4 3
2317 I just think now you're going to have to start taking a little more responsibility for your own needs. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2318 Take it easy! I had no choice..They only had thread. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2319 I thought you’d be pleased. I had these toys tailor-made for you. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2320 Meow, you need to stop that right meow. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2321 Can we agree that there's no such thing as a Free Lunch? 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2322 Trust me. It won't hurt. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2323 You're missing the point, I don't wish to needle you. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2324 Thread your own claws! 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2325 You're blaming me because your pajamas are not so great? 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2326 A stitch in thine keeps you with nine. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2327 LISTEN!!! If we just keep talking over each other, I'll never be able to explain why I've been miniaturized next to this sewing kit. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2328 I'm only dreaming; I'm only dreaming, and if I just stick something I'll wake up. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2329 Princess, I'm not going to allow this. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2330 Stop Jerry, think! If I were a rat my tail would thicker. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2331 Easy Fancy Feast...hey, is that a spool of yarn behind you? 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2332 I thought the alien was joking when he said it was a shrink-away ray gun. Nice kitty! 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2333 Sew...who's man of the house now? 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2334 Get lost. Somebody wished for a ten inch prick. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2335 You can has anything you want! 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2336 Sorry. What I meant was you have an athletic build. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2337 OK, you belong to the witch next door, now scat! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2338 Listen, I've told you a 1,000 times...you can keep sewing back together his toys, but that dang dog is hell bent on a life long mission to find The Squeaker. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2339 I'm only trying to stop you from doing something you'll regret later. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2340 Chill out. Your tux will be ready tomorrow. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2341 No, a stich in time DOES NOT save nine!! 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2342 Honey!? Do you mind? I was playing with the shrink ray again.. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2343 Okay, I'll give you some more pickled herring. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2344 No more steroids - no more catnip! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2345 Sew long, it's been good to know ya... 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2346 See if my shirt's ready. I'm late for work. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2347 You're in the wrong scene, incredible giant kitty. Send in the incredible giant spider so I can slay it, then escape though the window screen into the incredible star-lit night. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2348 Let’s see if a stitch in time will save nine lives. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2349 Easy there, Big fella !! 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2350 You think you're in heaven? Ha ha ha ha ha! 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2351 I'll sew you who's boss around here. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2352 I know this is gotta be a dream. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2353 If you don't leave me alone I'm not going to have your alterations done before the Kauffman boy's Bar Mitzvah. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2354 OK, pussy cat, so I'm just a beginner at needlepoint but I still have to finish your whiskers. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2355 Didn't you used to be a spider? 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2356 Next time I'm sowing the bag first 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2357 Please let me find somebody who CAN work the can opener. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2358 This is one I just did for the mad props. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2359 I was just wondering if you were missing a thimble . 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2360 The Thimble is rent free for year, with monthly nail cleaning. What a sweet deal. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2361 Take it easy, Felix, it's me! 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2362 You know, my wife said "don't let the cat shrink you, he's just going to try to kill you.". But would I listen to her? 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2363 I am Androcles and you are the Lion. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2364 Are you the Cheshire Cat that Alice warned me about? 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2365 It's a thread of deep regret. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2366 What is the creature that walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and three in the evening? 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2367 If you aren't good I'll hide in the thimble. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2368 honey, she's not playing with the thread like we saw in the Buzzfeed picture 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2369 So,what was it again?"A stitch in time..saves nine lives"..right? 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2370 Okay, in this fable, you're the lion, and I'm the mouse. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2371 Stop arguing! If we work quickly, you may be spared her wrath and my fate. And to think all I did was leave the seat up! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2372 You knew I wasn't polydactyl when you adopted me. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2373 Yes, but I'm your little prick. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2374 Well, I was hoping you're like balloons and virginity. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2375 Don't get huffy now. If you want to be Puss in boots, you'll just have to accept the fact that your boots will be big as buckets. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2376 Don't get sew close or I will have you in stitches. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2377 Looks like we've discovered one more tendency you forgot to mention in your personal ad. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2378 Do you want to help me make a large cat quilt? 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2379 On guard pussy cat! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2380 Be patient Jack. Jumping over the candlestick comes next! 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2381 I'll knit you a kitty cat hat. I promise. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2382 Poke, poke! LOL Poke, poke, LOL!! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2383 One of us will get the point 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2384 I told you - I'm voting for Hillary. Let's just agree to disagree. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2385 Appears you're going to have to finish the hem. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2386 No offense Luther-- I was just spooling around. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2387 Remember the mouse and the lion? 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2388 Either someone bought a large sewing kit and I developed a thyroid problem or you've shrunk, LITTLE MAN. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2389 Fooled you again Tom. See? The power of forced perspective! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2390 We talked about this. Shrink ray first. Mouse suit second. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2391 Cut me some slack, I'm on the needle. 1.1020 0.03970 98 91 4 3
2392 ... so, a needle pulling threeeaaad, 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2393 Just a few stitches but the thorn is gone. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2394 Will there be anything else, sir? 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2395 Calm down, Mr. Snuggles. Of course u can has cheezburger. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2396 If you don’t want to keep losing buttons, Fluffy, you gotta trim those nails. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2397 This reoccurring nightmare is my teenage angst for a girl named Tabitha and my middle-aged fear of ED 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2398 If you don,t floss ,then l have to do if for you,calm down. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2399 You poke me with that thing, and I'll tie you up in knots, sucker! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2400 Hail Mary full of grace, Our...Oh, screw it: I am prepared to lance you, you giant pussy! 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2401 I'm sorry Bruno, but you can't claw your way out of this one." 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2402 So I forgot to feed you. Let's not make a memorable action sequence out of it. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2403 My first Taxidermy ... to scale. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2404 Let go, Luke. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2405 CATastrophic!!! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2406 I'm going to need a bigger spool. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2407 HONEY I SHRANK MY SELF 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2408 "Don't touch me, I'm the guy who feeds you," said the educated mouse, skilled in the field of hypnosis. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2409 You're right, we haven't discussed the steroid diet in a long while. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2410 The answer is NO!! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2411 OK, I will make it in gender-neutral pink. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
2412 These stitches shouldn't hurt a bit 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2413 The last time I had this dream, Circe, I was riding a hamster toward you with a knitting needle. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2414 I told you that I'd sew your mouth shut if you didn't stop meowing. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2415 You're only making this harder on yourself. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2416 Now, meow like a dog! 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2417 Stick me again and I will eat you 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2418 Honey, I'm done; now you can have giant rabid Mrs. Whiskers forever. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
2419 Stop needling, don't thread on me! 1.1020 0.03970 98 91 4 3
2420 Hold that pose, while I stitch you nose to your paw.... It should scare the bejeezus out of Lois when she returns from the market. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
2421 The shrinking man takes a page from Aesop. 1.1010 0.03044 99 89 10 0
2422 OK, no more circus side-shows. 1.1010 0.03044 99 89 10 0
2423 Beware! Remember I am a good rug maker. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2424 Catmando 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2425 EITHER WE LEARN TO GET ALONG OR I DROP YOU IN A RIVER WHEN THE SHRINK RAY WEARS OFF 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2426 Cat Sweater Catastrophe 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2427 Sew I feel like you're getting kind of catty, because you're really missing the point of the conversation. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2428 Why thank you! Our therapist thought we needed to create a circle of trust. 1.0938 0.03940 96 90 3 3
2429 You belittle me once too often! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2430 What happened to the last catnip sweater I sewed for you? 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2431 "Sorry if i'm about to needle you". 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2432 Sorry! If it feels worse like this I'll put it back in. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2433 No, I said I'd do a PAW job with a needle and thread… 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2434 Down, Fluffy, down! 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2435 “I don’t want to wear a costume for Halloween” said the cat. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2436 Remember, I want ruffles and wide lapels. It's Seventies week on Dancing with the Siamese Stars." "In powder orange or powder blue? 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2437 Alright I wont neuter you. How about a nice declawing? 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2438 No, cat's cradle is not my interest at this time. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2439 Clearly you don't understand, I am smaller to suggest depth. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2440 Don't worry, I can handle this. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2441 Nine lives? No, just stitches. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2442 Get back Future. I am not ready to deal with you let. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2443 I swear it's not a thorn 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2444 Wanna show me how this works? 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2445 Stay back, kitty, or I'll needle you into submission! 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2446 This is the last time I swipe right when someone says they love living large. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2447 It was at this moment Steven realized Pumpkin's darning knowledge far exceeded his own. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2448 My shrink warned me you'd be catty. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2449 Yes, I saw Bride of Frankenstein ... and that's why I'm not making you one. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2450 Watch it Kitty, I received a B+ in High School Home Ec 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2451 Can this wait until after I've repaired my mouseman costume? 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2452 You could go for a nice price on Etsy. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2453 Mom and Dad didn't think this one through. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2454 Remember kitty what I said? When you make it big, don't cut me short. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2455 Look, I hear you make great pajamas, but I'm not paying for double stitching. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2456 Let me warn you - I was Saint George in a previous lifetime. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2457 Back off Trump! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2458 This is why I'm voting for Trump. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2459 I don't care how big you are, if you keep on snarling at me I'm going to stick you. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2460 This is not the cat's meow 1.0938 0.03940 96 90 3 3
2461 Okay, so it was me who destroyed your dumb ball of yarn. Why not care about what really matters, like planet earth? Hello! Who’s screwing that up for us all? 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2462 Note: Restring with spaghetti. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2463 Sew the cat obviously doesn't like needles. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2464 I'm darning you. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2465 Won't be the first time I've sewn up a huge pussy. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2466 Interesting. I followed the thread of anger and discovered this snarling hairy creature. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2467 Every mistake can come back and haunt you 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2468 Make yourself a pair of mittens! 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2469 Not your average kitty cat. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2470 This is NOT a nightmare! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2471 For the last time, how was I to know you'd fall for the old, "Help yourself to tbe rest of that Almond Roca in the box in the kitchen!" Now get outta my way, you're not sewing nothin' shut! 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2472 You really are the cat's meow 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2473 'WTF is going on in this picture?' - caption contest participants. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2474 If Barneys stocked anything decent in my size we wouldn't even be having this conversation. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2475 He took my request last night too literal. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2476 A penny for your thoughts. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2477 I don't care what happened in Rome all those years ago, I'm still going to eat you. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2478 Nice try Desperaux; your costume ain't cuttin' it. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2479 Out, damned Spot! I mean Fluffy! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2480 With the exception of hands, you've got everything here that you need to get the sewing done. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2481 I know you prefer knitting needles and yarn, but will this do? 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2482 ooooooo....you poor thing.....let me take that thorn out of you paw. You'll feel better. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2483 It's an even match - your lives, my stitch. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2484 This better not hurt,Mister, or you're a fur ball! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2485 Giant cats take too much work espectially making huge mittens for their paws. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2486 just a little fix 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2487 I know about the water in Flint. Look at me, But I'm not going all postal over it. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2488 Dream (nightmare): "OK, OK, we don't have to go to the Kitty Dress Up party." 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2489 You need me! 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2490 Don't tense up. You will just feel a little prick. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2491 No, you pass a needle point side down. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2492 Still, the easiest way to thread a needle. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2493 'Sew, a needle pulling thread, La... ' Tiger, get with the program. You're not too big for sing-alongs. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2494 So, I take it you are not in favor of building a wall? 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2495 Well your not a lion, and I'm not a mouse,but maybe they'll write a fable about us! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2496 This is just a dream and you're a nice kitty. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2497 Perhaps a stage production, such as 'Androcles and the Giant Feral Cat'? 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2498 Castration is a relatively simple procedure that removes the testicles. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2499 I’d rather be sewing. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2500 Look who's in charge meow. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2501 I don't think the thimble is gonna help either of us. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2502 I knew I should have picked up knitting. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2503 If you like what you see, subscribe to my YouTube channel: Teeny Tiny Tony. Subscribe now. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2504 I won't let them post any more photos of you at the Tube station, I promise. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2505 I promise I won't de-claw you! 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2506 If this is not a bad dream..., then Darwin's theory of evolution has some definite gaps...which one did you crawl out from?!? 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2507 Sorry...Androcles isn't on your HMO provider list. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2508 Back off unless you want an Edwardian collar. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2509 I knew you'd be mad, but my litter box is full. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2510 Sit still! I need to take a blood sample. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2511 Sorry I lost the directions to making your cradle. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2512 That darn cat is at it again! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2513 I need some catgut 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2514 Look, cobbler, it's Puss in Boots, not Puss in Bedroom Slippers 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2515 It's not 4 claws, but it will do some damage! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2516 You don't seem to be respecting my ownership rights. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2517 Gulliver not gullible. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2518 Maybe we can talk this over 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2519 I might not be a mouse, but I believe you owe me a favor. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2520 Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it when I called you a big pussy. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2521 This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder and weirder. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2522 Show some respect ... I spend $4,500 a month for you to stay here full time. I get a few hours here before I fall asleep ... 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2523 Just my luck! I'm allergic to cats. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2524 Do not needle me or this could turn out CATastrophic for you 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2525 I said fix your PAW. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2526 Do not be such a Pussy Cat it is not going to hurt! 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2527 Perhaps we can call a truce? 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2528 Go away, Kitty. This is supposed to be a Game of Thrones dream. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2529 I'm thinking it wasn't catnip I'm thinking i I'm thinking it wasn't catnip. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2530 Honey, I'm finished. Kitty was always bigger than life. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2531 I know I said no more dry food, but the stores were closed today. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2532 Where is the fantastic shrinking girl? 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2533 Quick, before the dog gets back, make me a mane. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2534 Not owwie...just ow, as in me-ow. 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
2535 Aaah c'mon! It's just a pinch! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2536 this won't hurt a bit 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
2537 what would tom thumb do in a situation like this? 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
2538 Cease, desist, and withdraw your claws! 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
2539 The Pet store said You were friendly, but not this friendly! 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
2540 Do, a deer, a female deer. Re, a drop of golden sun. Mi, a name I call myself. Fa, a long long way to run. Sol, a needle pulling thread . . . 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
2541 You may remember when you were smaller and scratched me I denied you tuna fish for a week, so cool it. 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
2542 "Haven't you heard, 'A well placed stitch negates nine!"? 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
2543 No. You're not fierce enough for the circus yet. 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
2544 Unshrink me right MEOW! 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
2545 This is the last blind date I'm going on. 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
2546 OK, no more yarn balls. 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
2547 You can play with the cotton after I sew my button back on. 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
2548 Don't bully me! - I'm sticking to my knitting." "Don't bully me! - I'm sticking to my knitting." 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2549 Hey there big guy, no needle to get upset. 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2550 Go ahead and mix the metaphor, "a stitch in time saves nine lives!" 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2551 I just want to sew up your wound. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2552 Did you ever hear the one about the cat and the needle? 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2553 Goliath, we'll have to let out that Harley Quinn costume a tad. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2554 Watch-it! This is very sharp. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2555 Believe me, it's done wonders for other tomcats I know ... a little stitch'll do ya! 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2556 Fur is murder! 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2557 Funny thing is I am usually the one that's 'all thumbs'. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2558 We also have a pre-train fixed menu if you prefer 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2559 Shoot, I thought this was going to be a bad idea. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2560 You were told our budget was small. 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2561 "When I asked him to try to give me a big "O' this wasn't what I had in mind" This is for last week's entry! I am so sorry I missed my boss's deadline!!!! 1.0851 0.03903 94 89 2 3
2562 Consider this a thread misuse intervention. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2563 Honestly, it was only an innocent text thread. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2564 Settle down. I specialize in reclawing. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2565 Honey, you're right. I'm just a small man in a big man's world. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2566 " Listen it's not my idea to be standing here without a shirt and pointing a needle at you, so cool it and go drink your milk". 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2567 I don't eat dairy or fish. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2568 Careful now. I may be copyrighted material. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2569 You know Betty, he only half-listens, What I said was "Wouldn't it be fun to see the Rolling Stones again? 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2570 I'm sorry Donald, I was only trying to sew up your mouth 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2571 Just a threading assistant. The creativity is yours. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2572 Don't needle me. It was sewn up ages ago. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2573 You know, wonders come out of the mouths of babes. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2574 Sweetheart, grab my suit I think its working 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2575 Keeping the comment thread on point was like herding cats. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2576 Don't worry, kitty, this needle is only to make sure that you have nine lives 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2577 New series on SyFy this fall, "Purrfect." 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2578 Let me sew your mouth shut, and you'll never lose your tongue again. 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2579 So, what's the point of this conversation? 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2580 I have a 1/22nd Amendment right! 1.0851 0.03903 94 89 2 3
2581 I will engage you, as prodigious a creature as you are. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2582 If I can only remember how Grant Williams got out of this mess... 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2583 Needle! I use an app from my i-phone! 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2584 "It's not natural to declaw the cat," she says. "Why is this old lamp so dirty?" she says... 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2585 Down, Simba down. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2586 High fives 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2587 Classic game of cat and mouse 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2588 So then he said 'Maybe I am reinventing it, but so what?' 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2589 Sorry, didn't know your name was Haystack. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2590 Trust me!" " No freakin way! Get that thing away from me or I'll eat you, too. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2591 Now that I've taken this "thorn" out of your paw, do you promise not to eat me? 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2592 Stop growling at me just because I tell you your vibrato is a little off. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2593 You’re filled with gratitude…right? 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2594 Gary's Rick Moranis obsession had gone a little too far. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2595 I could of sworn I ordered smalls. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2596 Thanks for your help, I don't know if I should lick you or rub my head on you! 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2597 Remember, Fluffy, this is only a movie! 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2598 Good news, it's not a Cat atrophy. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2599 Now come on, Gulliver, don’t get yourself all in a spat – you’re running out of lives. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2600 You're my version of Kitty Frankenstein. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2601 If you want a mend, get a dog. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2602 Don’t you recognize me? 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2603 ... and my favorite, the video of me trying to get the tape off my paw. HiLARious! 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2604 No, I didn't call you a large coward. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2605 Actually, I think this is a job for the Brave Little Knitter... 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2606 You forget, I'm one of your staff. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2607 Waar's mah 'ong? 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2608 So you're the evil cat. 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2609 The death of Peter Dinklage. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2610 Man: I completely support Colin Kaepernick's decision to protest the national anthem. Cat: Ah, you know, I agree intellectually, but not emotionally. 1.0851 0.03903 94 89 2 3
2611 This tiny house isn't big enough for the two of us. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2612 No, I get that it's a premium haunted house, but I can't help thinking that it's oddly specific. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2613 Stop that or I'll shoot 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2614 I'm Needleman.don't mess with me! 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2615 Size does matter - I'm really good at threading these things. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2616 The wife really loves it when I interrupt her sewing... 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2617 What happened after the Lilliputians lost their 2nd Amendement rights 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2618 Do I look like a Dalmatian, fool? 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2619 My cat only wears designer clothes. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2620 I'm about to have a little more fun! 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2621 Work it, you're a tiger, work it for the needle! 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2622 I couldn't help noticing that you're carrying. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2623 You're pins. I'm needles. Let's play! 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2624 Awww, Tabby! I have to drink SOME blood if I’m to grow up to be a real boy. 1.0851 0.03903 94 89 2 3
2625 I have to go fix that bag. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2626 no , honest , not that kind of catsuit 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2627 I'm just not getting "great white whale," Mittens. Did you even read the script? 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2628 I can see that you are angry, but before we do anything rash, might I suggest you start that cat sweater we discussed on Friday? 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2629 No, please, my ears are not torn, they just don't have fur on the inside. 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2630 Remember, you're the needle...I'm the haystack. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2631 Everything changed the day the giant cats attacked... 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2632 You scratch my back and I'll needle you with stitches! 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2633 Well, this is quite a bind. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2634 My last dream was way worse than this...Hillary becoming President. 1.0851 0.03903 94 89 2 3
2635 This is how you show a cat to not pay with yarn. 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2636 You mess with the MAN... you get the NEEDLE!! 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2637 Norma, he’s literally going viral! 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2638 You plan to saw what to my WHAT? 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
2639 I've pinpointed your soft spot. 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
2640 Relax, its fall and I want to sew you a sweater. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
2641 Either take your nap now or in 1/2 hour, I know it's a tough decision. 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
2642 We will make a killing with this show! ! 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
2643 Okay, so for your pants, you dress to the right. 1.0842 0.03863 95 90 2 3
2644 So, you're telling me that the spider was eaten by his wife last night, and the directer is giving you a second chance. 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
2645 A little warning about the gargantuan cat in the escape room would've been nice. 1.0825 0.02808 97 89 8 0
2646 It puts the lotion in the thimble. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2647 We have to sew your mouth shut Mr. Trump. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2648 You called about an overstretched scruff? 1.0761 0.03536 92 87 3 2
2649 Fluffy! I thought we had a deal - I sew you a new sweater and you don't eat me. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2650 I'm sorry I didn't feed you more, but there is no time to fight about it now 1.0761 0.03536 92 87 3 2
2651 Hurry before the kittens come home and I'll give you a slice of pie! 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2652 In that case, I'll see you in court. 1.0761 0.03536 92 87 3 2
2653 I told you the shipment of hand-sewn mice wouldn't be ready to go out, until Thursday. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2654 Your mind is mine. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2655 The last cat that smashed my needle is still airborne. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2656 Shame on you for tearing up the pillow! I never know what you might shred next! 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2657 Meow. I can't reach for any higher sky. Now put that god forsaken needle down. Cats lives have meaning too. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2658 Nine lives for a stitch? 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2659 I guess it will easier for me to get to heaven, if I thread this needle with a camel rather than you kitty. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2660 No, that's not the catnip I asked for. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2661 I still say the NFL players have a right not stand for the anthem. 1.0761 0.03536 92 87 3 2
2662 " Touché Pussy Cat be dammed. This isn't Saturday morning TV". 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2663 Cruella, I just need to get the splinter out of your paw, baby girl. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2664 Calm down--What's with the rush to tie the knot? 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2665 This is for Sept. 19 issue - I know it's too late, this is for my own benefit - "The irony is that he thought he'd have nothing to do in retirement." 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2666 Oh yeah! Well, I'll knit one and purl two you! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2667 The seamstress shrunk the kids. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2668 I guess I really don't know how to sew...... 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2669 I heard, 'blouse.' 'I want a blouse.' 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2670 Yes! I bought -three- pairs of your RFID tagged, pie-resistant mittens; and none of them worked! 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2671 Knock off with the hypnosis, your paw needs stitches! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2672 Hey. Paws down. Catgut is really from sheep! 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2673 From hell's heart I stab at thee...thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2674 i can haz sewed 9 pairs of leviez alrdy...let me napzz 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2675 "A stitch in time saves nine, Tinky". 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2676 Sure I used the word 'miniature,' but that doesn't mean I'm a dog person. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2677 WONDERFUL ! In my dream the cat has CATNIP WITHDRAWAL ! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2678 I need it for emergency surgery. I need it for emergency surgery. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2679 That's the last trip to the Catskills for you 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2680 I'm armed. Stop singing that song or you'll be a memory too. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2681 z 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2682 all outta yarn today sir! please calm down 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2683 Yes, it is a good idea for an act, but I don't think the'll ll buy the whole 'Simba' thing. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2684 Tom called you a scaredy cat, it was Tom!! please don't eat me. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2685 Now hold still, this won't hurt a bit 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2686 Listen to Thumbelina--and think! You got nine lives, right? And a stitch in time saves nine, right? Get on line, Big Guy, NOW! 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2687 If cats' dreams came true. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2688 No, Please stop! I don't want to play Circus anymore. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2689 Paws Up ... Don't Stitch 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2690 In the event of my death, my operatives would avenge me. Some of them are pit bulls. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2691 Androcles was the wrong name for you. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2692 Now close your left eye and follow the needle. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2693 Could this be the end of "Sewing Man"? 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2694 His gallery calls it "neo-Neolithic." 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2695 Damn autocorrect. I asked the genie to make me cool. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2696 Down Ophelia! For the last time, I'm NOT the one eating the blueberries out of your gourmet cat food! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2697 When you find yourself beseeching a behemoth feline with a yarn needle, you’re at risk of looking a knitwit. 1.0761 0.03536 92 87 3 2
2698 Alright, already! I'm getting my levels checked today, thank you very much! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2699 Because it wasn't worth saving the dog's life. For you a stitch in time saves nine. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2700 Fluffy... Did you find that mitten that needed darning? 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2701 A hiss-tory lesson to remember. 1.0761 0.03536 92 87 3 2
2702 You're meowing up the wrong tree. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2703 Back off, Fluffy. I may not have Grant Williams' looks, but I have his pluck and this here needle. 1.0761 0.03859 92 88 1 3
2704 Meatloaf? 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2705 Don't try to stitch those who don't want to be stitched 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2706 I liked you better when you were nothing but a fading grin, before you got back up to your old tricks with "Drink Me" 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2707 Calm down, Kitty, or no more gourmet cat food! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2708 Don't bother; you will be all sewed up soon! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2709 'Incredible Shrinking Man' 60th Anniversary Blu-ray? Tell me more! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2710 I swear, I am not the mouse that roared! 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2711 that penis enlarger app used to work before it was hacked 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2712 Relax, it's just the name of the material -- your suit won't be made of real sharkskin. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2713 This is not the seamstress dream I had in mind. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2714 Perspective makes things in the front look larger, and smaller in the back. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2715 But, I was just knitting you a sweater! 1.0761 0.03536 92 87 3 2
2716 Sew what? I'm a big pussy! 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2717 You know, in the original episode of "The Land of the Giants." I win! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2718 A feline nail stylist is the only job I can do in Brobdingnag. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2719 Stop complaining. It was an accident. I said I'd sew your claw back on. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2720 Just please don't go for my tongue. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2721 Now, now, I helped you catch the mouse. Take me to Times Square. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2722 Back To The Future meets The Incredible Shrinking Man. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2723 I was only kidding about trading places, I meant my dumb, lazy dog! 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2724 The David of Goliaths versus the mouse of men. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2725 If you swat me I'll stab you with this needle. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2726 See all the heartpounding action in Michael Bay's latest sequel, "Honey, I Shrank the Yid 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2727 I was only listening to Bob Barker on that neutering thing. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2728 Larry: Wanna hear a joke? What do you call a cat having a heart attack? A cat attack. Trixie the cat: Ya ima just gonna kill you now. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2729 So. . .help me out. Does this count as a CATCH-22? 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2730 We're gonna have so much fun, you said. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2731 Cat food is expensive, true. But,still. No reason to want to tie my stomach. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2732 No reason to get testy, we can certainly discuss your applique design. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2733 Relax! I'm only doing this to meet Lily Tomlin. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2734 If this were an AK-47 instead of this stupid needle, you wouldn't be so fierce now, would you? 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2735 If I knew you were going to get so snarky, I never would've shown you how to use the UpSizer 9000. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2736 Just don't think about all the times I've fed you. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2737 Nightmares also plague 7foot tall basketball stars... 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2738 May I refer you to a friend of mine who isn't as scrawny? 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2739 Curiosity's my middle name, you son of a queen. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2740 I'm sorry I couldn't find a ball of yarn master, but this is the best I could do. Now, will you turn me back please? 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2741 Alice? I didn't realize that the 'she' that would be ten feet tall was Mrs. Whiskers. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2742 Martha Steward never said knitting booties for your cat would be dangerous! 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2743 Whoops, sorry, I came prepared for a giant aline. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2744 I was only mending the bag you came out of. For your benefit, don't be so curious. Remember this is your ninth life. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2745 I told you, Mr Dentist Wannabe: No root canal. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2746 Trust me, ceiling concussions are a one way ticket to a catatonic state. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2747 I told you it was sharp. We'll play after I'm done with my darning. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2748 I knew the contestants on Project Runway had a tendency to be catty but this is taking it to a whole new level. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2749 Oh, come on, let's give it a try. I just know you will rock this pants suit. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2750 You said, Stay away from the yarn. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2751 Who's shrinking now? 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2752 I'd have the upper hand if I were vermin. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
2753 I really wish OBAMA didn't take away our guns 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2754 “Back off, I have been genetically humanized!”. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
2755 Well, it seems the mice in our lab experiment did go up a few intelligence points. 1.0753 0.03147 93 87 5 1
2756 Some detergence can be underwhelming. 1.0753 0.03499 93 88 3 2
2757 honey, I expanded the kitty. er and your sewing basket too..... 1.0753 0.02751 93 86 7 0
2758 Don't be scared, I'm good 1.0753 0.03499 93 88 3 2
2759 And I thought working at the New Yorker was tough. 1.0753 0.03147 93 87 5 1
2760 I know; I know splinter hurts...needle...needle hurts...calm ...kitty...I will spear splinter,catch thread if you jump...smooth...I know....baby...there, there..all better. 1.0753 0.02751 93 86 7 0
2761 I said I wanted blue thread! 1.0745 0.03114 94 88 5 1
2762 No way!! First clean your litter box. 1.0674 0.03114 89 84 4 1
2763 Why the big deal, it's just a few stitches. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2764 The nice around here would be much more worth your time. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2765 It still astonishes me that you guys repealed the 2nd amendment. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2766 When I wake up you're going in the washing machine Diabla 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2767 Nice kitty, I'm sure we can talk this out. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2768 Easy now, Knitty Kitty... 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2769 Just one more take in your SuperCat outfit! 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2770 Just a few strands for my Pussy G.alore pillow 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2771 I feel like the pussy. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2772 This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it is you, kitty, kitty. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2773 Yes, but I'm your are your little prick. 1.0667 0.03462 90 86 2 2
2774 Last night you made me promise to keep you off all string like items. It's not just yarn, thread counts too. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2775 And I thought my biggest problem was Mr. Mouse. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2776 YOU! make a Move - I Swallow You! 1.0667 0.03462 90 86 2 2
2777 Sorry buddy, it's cashmere wool, not cats-mere. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2778 'DON'T BE AFRAID. I WON'T HURT YOU!" 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2779 A stitch in the feline sent Stein to the devine. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2780 Fascinating discussion on aphorisms, but I don't think that one refers to reincarnation. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2781 To finish your coat, I will need your help. My fingers are too small for the thimble. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2782 Kitty's paw is not that dangerous. I've done this a hundred times before! 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2783 That doesn't look like a voting lever. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2784 Have you thought of what Morris would say? 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2785 No warp, no woof and, certainly, no nap! 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2786 'I don't think you could handle our sewing kit....' 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2787 It's only a little prick. 1.0667 0.03462 90 86 2 2
2788 Size will matter unless you have a weapon. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2789 Do you have any idea what a sewing basket means to someone who is homeless? 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2790 Ok, what will it take for you to join me on that show,"We Got Talent"? 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2791 I must stop teaching so much Jonathan Swift! 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2792 You are a lion, aren’t you? 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2793 Alright-already, I'll finish your cat hat today! 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2794 Should try this now before Trump got rid of Obamacare. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2795 This needle is infected with feline immunodeficiency virus! 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2796 Honey, I know you don't like sewing but can you help fix my shirt? 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2797 Oh what cold little hands you have! 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2798 We call this thread the needle pose. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2799 Calm down. They were ordered from your catalog. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2800 i'm only a tiny lil dude but i WILL bloody well stab you 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2801 I need your help. I work for Catvin Klein. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2802 I can't promise to knit you famous on Instagram. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2803 You're supposed to use another cat's paw. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2804 I sure make taxidermy look nimble and quick! 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2805 The thread's already passing through it..........Besides, you're not a camel. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2806 Damn gastric bypass surgery.... 1.0667 0.03462 90 86 2 2
2807 It's just a dream! 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2808 Your have sharp teeth and claws. I am little and have a needle. What is fair about this? 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2809 Dude, what's more fucking retarded than New Yorker cartoons? Being forced onto a stupid-ass New Yorker "cartoon lounge" email list. Mittens, will you stab me through the heart with this needle and put me out of my misery? 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2810 Cassandra, you're a very nice kitty, but I'm growing a little tired of all the cat and mouse 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2811 I'm not lion, I promise. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2812 No, Fluffy, I'm not renaming you Gulliver, despite any circumstances you wish to bring up. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2813 A stich in time saves nine, so it's cold turkey off the catnip. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2814 Spool it! 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2815 Darn! Another paws in my work. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2816 I am not making those sounds again, I just asked if you wanted a scarf. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2817 I'm sending back that case of Trump Steaks. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2818 Sew, you like to needle me, but not needled be! 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2819 Thread may yield unpredictable results. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2820 Yep, you're dying. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2821 Remember. I'm Androcles. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2822 Is point blank close enough? 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2823 The camel worked too well. We need a capital investment plan which reflects the markets of today. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2824 Yeah, go ahead and take your best swipe with your oh so scary claws! I'm just dreaming so no matter what, after I stick it to you I just wake up. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2825 Relax Muffins, I've scaled it down... and if it doesn't work, I've got 8 more tries. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2826 This sequel is supposed to be about an incredible shrinking woman. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2827 Sorry the crochet took so long. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2828 If you want your sweater fixed, it's your turn to sew! 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2829 I thought that Alice girl was joking when she said you were related to the Treasure Cat. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2830 MEOW! Meow. 1.0667 0.03462 90 86 2 2
2831 And now I will thrust my oversized needle into this pussy. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2832 How come 'Mouse Man' never got his own movie? 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2833 Wait! I know the whereabouts of Ratman's secret lair! 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2834 Good kitty. Just back off so that I can find the witch. I don't want to hurt you. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2835 This was a paw decision! 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2836 Back off, Haberdashery! 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2837 The literal dying art of sewing in the modern household. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2838 Got a hit film for shrinking the kids, but this isn't working so well..... 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2839 it will be ok. We just need some fur for little kitty britches. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
2840 Big cats like to play. 1.0667 0.03462 90 86 2 2
2841 How 'bout we trade this yarn for your ninth life? 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2842 Look, my Shrink-O-Matic malfunctioned but I can still use a can opener. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2843 where's that famous cheesier cat grin? 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
2844 Sewing your wild oats again? 1.0659 0.03047 91 86 4 1
2845 Hey, what's with playing avoid the needle? 1.0659 0.03047 91 86 4 1
2846 Look at this needle, is it a small needle? And, the dog referred to my needle: ‘If it's small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee. 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
2847 One more hiss and we'll wrap it up 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
2848 All I said was "my third wish already...darn" and you appear. 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
2849 Well I'm sorry it was YOU who swallowed it. See if I help you next time. 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
2850 David and Goliath battle in the 21st Century. 1.0652 0.02588 92 86 6 0
2851 Thumbelina! Tell your mother she has got to pick a different familiar. 1.0632 0.02509 95 89 6 0
2852 No sir, I promise VR is no longer one of my 'pet peeves'. 1.0568 0.02962 88 84 3 1
2853 This is nothing like The Spiderwick Chronicles. 1.0568 0.02962 88 84 3 1
2854 I'm busy sewing our superhero costumes! 1.0568 0.02482 88 83 5 0
2855 Yes, perhaps necessity is the mother of invention. I will argue that marriage is the mother of reinvention. 1.0568 0.02482 88 83 5 0
2856 A challenge Lily Tomlin never faced in the remake. 1.0568 0.02482 88 83 5 0
2857 Lentando decrescendo, Grizabella: Look a new day has begun... 1.0568 0.02482 88 83 5 0
2858 The tables have turned -- no more catgut! 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2859 I'll just sew myself out, if that's o-cat with you. I wouldn't want to be a paw-ther... 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2860 Well, you're right. It is easier this way. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2861 'Who the hell thought this one up ?" 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2862 Whoa, this thread is made from cotton, not fir-balls. 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2863 I'm pretty paw-sitive that this needle hurts more than nail clippings. 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2864 Wait, I could spin a little thing you can conquer, unlike those years of that ball of yarn. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2865 My patience ran out back at 'M.' Now he's on the couch. 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2866 OK, I Just Have A Needle! 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2867 Hi, I'm Ahab. Who are you!? 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2868 Just remember: Revenge is mine, saith the pawed. 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2869 Looks like you've got this deal all sewed up. 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2870 hey nerdle 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2871 Now, now calm down. How will you ever learn to sew if you don't cooperate? N 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2872 Well, that's hardly fair. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2873 I told you before Ahab, keep your distance! 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2874 I was a winner on 'Project Runway.' Big sewing kits don't intimidate me. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2875 Now listen, I never said knitting was going to be easy. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2876 6/10. "I found the Little Prince reboot premature, but Adam Driver was finally cast as an appropriate villain" 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2877 Don't scratch, don't bite, an' I'll lend you my toothpick. 1.0562 0.03337 89 86 1 2
2878 No, no! I asked you for yarn! 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2879 Thanks to my incredible shrink I no longer shrink in beastly situations nor do I shrink from my shrinking mastery. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2880 So is this where I say, "Up next on Viral Kitty, it's teeny weeny tiny taxidermy?" 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2881 Scratch me gently with a cat claw! 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2882 You can either star purring or I'll shove this pretty pin up your nose. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2883 I wonder if I can make this the next BIG thing! 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2884 On second thought, the roses could use pruning. 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2885 No, Tabby, don't use the triple overhand stitch! 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2886 Ouch, I don't want to reap what you sow 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2887 Dave took up sculpting when he retired from the Force 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2888 No more kittens for Miss Snicklepuss. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2889 All right, I'll let you join my quilting club. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2890 The other three are downstairs. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2891 Now, say 'Sew' not 'Mew.' 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2892 Tom Thumb, I've told you before, no more air needle! 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2893 Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering ... kitten. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2894 They call me the Incredible Shrinking Manicurist. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2895 I said, sew up the drapes you ripped, and my name is NOT Thumbelino. OR Thanks, my eyesight is not like it used to be. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
2896 Why do you have to be such a huge p... uuugh! That genie must've gone to law school. 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
2897 Don't you neddle a 'cat'atonic schizophrenic! 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2898 This may seem beside the point, but have you seen any poisonous spiders? 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2899 You're meant to purr, not growl . 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2900 pretty much 1.0556 0.02897 90 86 3 1
2901 I know you are part Siamese, but this is getting weird. 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2902 Don't bother asking for explanations He'll just tell you that he tried To reinvigorate textile manufacturing In the year of the cat 1.0556 0.02897 90 86 3 1
2903 He's got into a bit of a tangle! 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2904 Well, nobody’s purr-fect… 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2905 Get away from my new bar stool! 1.0556 0.03300 90 87 1 2
2906 Harriet, I'm done, but is 'Mr. Tibbs the Rabid Years' the best idea? 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2907 I'm pretty sure this is the wrong scenario... you can't be sleeping beauty... for multiple reasons. 1.0556 0.02897 90 86 3 1
2908 Costantino Fortunato, I can't help you every time. 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2909 Winslow was thinking, "Sheesh! How was I to know the little girls at the door selling cookies were witches?" 1.0556 0.02897 90 86 3 1
2910 You know that I can kill you right? Better watch yourself. 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2911 Step aside, Cat-on-the-Rhumba! You wanna see viral?! I'll show you viral! 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2912 Think that attitude will get you into Heaven, either? 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2913 Here Kitty,kitty. 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
2914 Sew, if I stop needling you, will you no longer see me as a thread and a thimble of destruction? Then we can be spool with each other...no kitten. 1.0556 0.03300 90 87 1 2
2915 I admit it -- catting around is so belittling! 1.0549 0.02866 91 87 3 1
2916 O.K., you can have a smaller thimble. 1.0549 0.02402 91 86 5 0
2917 Me-ow? You're gonna ow. Hold still, you big galoot. 1.0549 0.02402 91 86 5 0
2918 "Something tells me you're not allergic to needles". 1.0549 0.02402 91 86 5 0
2919 Stand still! I'm trying to save you. 1.0549 0.02866 91 87 3 1
2920 Just stay away from the tongue,Fluffy! 1.0549 0.02402 91 86 5 0
2921 Listen kitty, No fooling around. The wife can never find out I've been in this room. 1.0543 0.02376 92 87 5 0
2922 This dream is getting scary,,,I'm going to wake up. 1.0543 0.02376 92 87 5 0
2923 Seven in one blow my ass! 1.0543 0.02376 92 87 5 0
2924 How Do You Like when The Cat Messes with You!! 1.0538 0.02352 93 88 5 0
2925 One more move and I saw you to the wall ,uh just kitting lol 1.0526 0.02747 95 91 3 1
2926 2D is harmless, right? Right? 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2927 I thought I ordered the standard powered laser 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2928 Release Claes, or I'll use this. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2929 Don't mess with "Sewer Man " he's small yet Crafty! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2930 After watching the debates, Bob has gone paleo. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2931 If you want to save them.... 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2932 Itty Bitty Kitty doesn't wanna play with me! Itty Bitty Kitty wants to cat nap in a tree! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2933 "What's the matter, you can't take a little needler? 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2934 You're a rich fat cat I'm going through the eye. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2935 It was the butcher who gave me the 'pig in a poke'! 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2936 Does this pin bring out the worst in otherwise reasonable cats? 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2937 Oh no... Now now there Lily, I know I haven't treated you the best lately, but lets just put those sharp claws down. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2938 you know my name is not MICKEY 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2939 playing pokecat 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2940 Back off, or I'll fluff your Garfield! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2941 I'm not a tailor-made cat! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2942 This taxidermist gig isn't as easy at it 'seams.'" Or ... "Hey! Don't make me use this, Stitches! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2943 Stop being a scaredy cat! I just want to sew in a couple of stiches where you cut yourself 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2944 Watch out for the giant mouse! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2945 Hi, I'm Lachesis. I just came to tell you that you've already used eight. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2946 It all started when she went big on social 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2947 Looks Like the tables of turned now i am the master! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2948 You won't pull my yarn! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2949 It's a good thing the relative sizing in this image is totally disproportionate, I know your (sic) not real. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2950 Don't give me that. You did it so you should repair it! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2951 He's really struggling with the writing process. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2952 How not to be a novice survivalist? Identify the most likely threats and prep for those first. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2953 I thought you were supposed to be grinning up a tree. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2954 This is good for you too. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2955 Success? I'll show you success! 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2956 I killed the aardvark and I can take you too, kitty! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2957 Take it easy! Your litter-tasting beer will be out next week. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2958 I will seweth thy great maw, if you don't shut your big yapper. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2959 OK, you're smarter than I thought. But you can use your shrink ray for better things than this. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2960 A needle in the hand is worth two in the spool. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2961 Every body, big or small, has the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. My forest cousin told me so. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2962 Your prenuptial claws won't help you now! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2963 Didn't you read the sign? This is a longitudinally-fluid safe zone. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2964 We don't test for steroids or growth hormones in this sport, Ron. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2965 I could sew you up before you can move that paw. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2966 If only he could carry the scissors, life would be much easier 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2967 Darn it! Now you tell me you aren't willing to wear a Hillary saddle blanket? 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2968 This is for the one in the Sept 19 issue (it is still Sept. 18 in Montana where I live): "Yeah, he's moved on to paleo-retro-maker-ironic." 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2969 Theranos said that we will make it work with just one drop of blood. Now go bother someone else. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2970 I have GOT to lay off the sauna. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2971 This won't hurt at all, I just want to wipe your server clean. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2972 Mine’s longer. Checkmate, Dorothy. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2973 my rod keeps pussies away 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2974 Kitty, I shrunk myself. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2975 My bear grandfather fought for my right to bear arms. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2976 Cool it, hairball, before my giant taxidermy colleague RIGHT BEHIND YOU gets angry. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2977 You may be running for presidency, but your "usual" tailor-made solutions won't solve my day-to-day problems ! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2978 O.K., O.K., so Cowboys and Indians isn't a thing anymore. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2979 Our disclosure statement said that declawing reversal is possible, but it might be painful. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2980 We were promised "jumbo tax returns," but "jumbo taxidermy" has its perks. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2981 I mean that's LIVES it saves, LIVES! 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2982 Just think of it as skinny yarn. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2983 Remember? It's the season for your Stitch-in-Time shot. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2984 I have a right to bear arms . . . and to bare arms!!! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2985 I'm sorry. I didn't realize that Brobdingnagian cats weren't into crop-tops. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2986 Donald Trump's inability to see the grave consequence of his actions. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2987 SQUEAK-squeak! SQUEAK! Squeak-SQUEAK! 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2988 Sharp weapons? I was actually going for sharp wits. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2989 I wanted a minimalist life, but this goes too far. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2990 Back Off! Darn, Cat! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2991 You kinda look like a naked, skinny mouse. I don't care. I am gonna eat you anyways. Meow 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2992 'Borrow this mouse finder?" 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2993 It's my claw, dude. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2994 He's named it "X". It's his tribute to irony. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2995 Are we friends now? 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2996 Don't get all tangled up in stitches...it takes several acupuncture sessions to unfreeze that puss. 1.0460 0.02788 87 84 2 1
2997 Yeah, and now you're ACTING like Hitler, too. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2998 His therapist told him to get a hobby to help work out his mommy issues. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
2999 Come on i have to make you a sweater. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
3000 You'd think he just invented sliced bread. 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
3001 Take That! And I didn't Borrow this needle - I'm keeping it! 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
3002 Peter Pan stitched his shadow back on his foot, so I figured I could sew you back on Matt Lauer. 1.0455 0.02233 88 84 4 0
3003 Personally, I liked the dogtooth on you. 1.0455 0.02757 88 85 2 1
3004 Oh my gosh bro. You always have to be doing some dumb ass shit bro. 1.0444 0.02696 90 87 2 1
3005 I keep telling you my name's not Roy! 1.0353 0.02618 85 83 1 1
3006 Don't get mad at me for all the Hollywood remakes. 1.0353 0.02618 85 83 1 1
3007 Do you want me to call Clyde Beatty? 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3008 Bye Philipo 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3009 I promise you- Kit Kat- no more kneadling about your donating to 'Cat's Paw' heels 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3010 Look, I can’t darn a sock for a notorious micromanager. 1.0353 0.02618 85 83 1 1
3011 Who got more of the soft power? 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3012 This will bring us closer. 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3013 This isn't what I had in mind when I joined that maker group. 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3014 Vestigial or not, you still forgot the hole. 1.0353 0.02618 85 83 1 1
3015 No, I don't want that new disease! 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3016 Calm down, I only said you were so and so pal. 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3017 OK. OK. No thread the nasal. 1.0353 0.02618 85 83 1 1
3018 Who farted? 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3019 First, let me see your Feline Haute Couture certificate please. 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3020 Don't be such a kitty. 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3021 One of us is wearing an Oculus Rift. 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3022 Okay, okay! I don't want to be a haystack! 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
3023 He hasn't given me a Big O lately 1.0353 0.02618 85 83 1 1
3024 How many times do I have to tell you: No Knot; No Tail;! 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3025 I would love to expand my range a bit, maybe do Shakespeare, but my stupid agent won't put me up for those parts. 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3026 Well, I suppose this is what I get for doing my sewing on the floor. 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3027 But to whom would you deliver me? 1.0349 0.02588 86 84 1 1
3028 If I shrink anymore, I won't even be able to defend myself. 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3029 Here Pusey, Pusey, Pusey. Don't be frightened. 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3030 I hate Mondays! 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3031 Cm'on kitty don't make me hurt you for eating my food again! 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3032 Yarn's in the back. 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3033 "I know a stitch in time saves nine, but my eight lives have already been plenty" Joyce Grimm, Pittsburgh, PA 15228 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3034 Your eyeball will be my space helmet, murdercat. 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3035 A Cut Above Taxidermy 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3036 Silk, 15 denier. 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3037 Almost done with the face... 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
3038 "Great news! I used the rabbit". 1.0349 0.02588 86 84 1 1
3039 I'm so tired. 1.0349 0.02588 86 84 1 1
3040 Witness me... 1.0345 0.01968 87 84 3 0
3041 Trust me, ceiling concussions are a one ticket to a catatonic state. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3042 Meow no! You have to take off your pants or this is going to hurt. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3043 That doesn't mean you get a Persian rug 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3044 Go away or I'll poke you. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3045 PISS ON ME FUCKING PISS ON ME BUT DO IT IN THE ANTARCTIC SO THAT THE PEE FREEZES IN MID AIR WHILE YOU ARE PISSING OFF 1.0241 0.02410 83 82 0 1
3046 You take the yarn; I'll stick to using string! 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3047 I thought there was a bull at the other end of this thread. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3048 Quid pro quo my eye! If you hadn't merrily pushed all my sewing stuff off the table, I wouldn't have gotten stuck. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3049 we gotta spay you. dog fucking's sort of funny? but cat fucking? no, no... not funny at all. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3050 Huh, the joke worked. They all out ran me. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3051 I am friendly, I am not a threat to you 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3052 Didn't we meet before in the movie "The Shrinking Man?" Man?" 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3053 Some your mewling, Gulliver, a stitch in time will save you nine. 1.0241 0.02410 83 82 0 1
3054 Let's see some respect. I do the thimble, needle and scissors. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3055 What's your read on The Needles' album: "Night of 1000 Cats"? 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3056 We're reinventing our marriage 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3057 Now I'll shrink you to nothing! 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3058 " Excuse me cat, would you help me sew my wild oats". I sow will not. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3059 Hold up. I'm a pussy-pokin' mah fokka. Yo! 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3060 Franz just tells ‘em. He don’t explain ‘em. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3061 I hope that I've sufficiently camouflaged my intentions. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3062 Sorry,iam is not recognized as an official Oympics country 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3063 All I said was, I don't want you to reinvent YOURSELF. ("yourself" should be italicized; I don't know how to do that.) 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3064 The spools over there 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3065 A fur coat for milk—I’d say that’s a fair trade. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3066 Millennials just don't get any Respect ! 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3067 His life hanging by a thread, he said: - Hey, giant pussy, let's paws and avoid this needless violence! 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3068 Errrr... man! 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3069 Maybe if I just poke at it with some stringy and shiny things... 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3070 (Sorry I'm a day late foe last week's...hope it makes you laugh). "Confidentially, I haven't had 'the Big O' in years" 1.0241 0.02410 83 82 0 1
3071 Now boots, we've been over this. Today is your day for cleaning. Now, get started with sewing my shirt buttons. Now, 'm going to go get rid of Garfield. He 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3072 Without the W! 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3073 Life is short, be aware of the dangers ahead. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
3074 He thinks he's reinventing the cronut. 1.0238 0.01673 84 82 2 0
3075 Oh, poor Kiddy, did I really prickle you?! 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3076 Oh, no! A very large cat! 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3077 Oh God my cat is huge. He's a savage who makes me feel like a shrimp. 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3078 No one blames you for the click striking one. 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3079 And how does that make you honk? 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3080 I'll take the tooth pick, and the tooth picker 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3081 Make America Great Again... Fight the Fi-lyin' Trump 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3082 Remember, the seventh rule of fight club is fights will go on as long as they have to. 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3083 Thought makes the greatness of Man 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3084 Quiet down or I'll sew more spider eggs into your abdomen. Now go take a swipe at that filthy Jap! 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3085 This ain't no cat and mouse game. Yippie-ki-yay motherf**ker!!! 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3086 Bring the needle back. I am not hungry yet. 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3087 "Mouseman", from the Land of Lilliputian strikes back. 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3088 This tuna tastes like human. I fart on you. Bbfffhhphphphphphgahghg. 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3089 Why does my girlfriend have such a catlike personality 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3090 Bring it pussy, I'll stab a bitch! 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3091 My name is Grant Williams, I've played some rather small rolls, and SCAT DAMN IT! 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3092 It's not my fault you were a seamstress in a past life. 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3093 Don’t try anything smart big guy. With my new app “WrapCat” in a nanosecond dude you’ll be toast! 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3094 Now, c'mon Spike...don't just go stating the obvious! 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3095 I don't do patchwork. 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
3096 Where ARE your guts, you scardy cat! 1.0000 0.01274 79 79 0 0
3097 I saw you do this to a bear, so I thought I'd do it to you! 1.0000 0.01274 79 79 0 0
3098 I didn’t think the movie prop from “The Incredible Shrinking Man” I purchased on eBay would actually work. 1.0000 0.01274 79 79 0 0
3099 Since he retired, he keeps saying he'll get around to it. 1.0000 0.01274 79 79 0 0
3100 Naming him Michelangelo may have been a slightly presumptuous. 1.0000 0.01274 79 79 0 0
3101 Listen, MacPherson! Touch not the cat bot a glove. 1.0000 0.01274 79 79 0 0
3102 Don't be so sure that "Time for some traffic problems.", is a sewn up case! 1.0000 0.01274 79 79 0 0
3103 I just thought you could spare a square. 1.0000 0.01274 79 79 0 0