Rank |
Caption |
Mean |
Precision |
Total votes |
"Unfunny" votes |
"Somewhat funny" votes |
"Funny" votes |
0 |
Looks like Sammy wins the "bring your pet to work" contest. He ate all of the other entries! |
1.8320 |
0.03563 |
607 |
293 |
123 |
191 |
1 |
Anywhere but Eve's office. |
1.8038 |
0.03621 |
530 |
246 |
142 |
142 |
2 |
We're searching for rats that escaped from the subway's Track 23 dining room kitchen. |
1.7350 |
0.04588 |
400 |
235 |
36 |
129 |
3 |
Looks like you ordered from the wrong Amazon |
1.7301 |
0.03943 |
389 |
184 |
126 |
79 |
4 |
Speak softly and carry a big fish. |
1.7240 |
0.04338 |
384 |
206 |
78 |
100 |
5 |
We may want to let him work from home. |
1.7215 |
0.03883 |
377 |
174 |
134 |
69 |
6 |
That goes in Eve's office. |
1.7139 |
0.04147 |
367 |
183 |
106 |
78 |
7 |
If anyone starts singing 'That's A Moray' they're fired. |
1.7042 |
0.04333 |
355 |
186 |
88 |
81 |
8 |
It's a pet of the one-armed guy 9 back who is carrying it to the shredder. |
1.6983 |
0.04995 |
348 |
219 |
15 |
114 |
9 |
I said we should get stuff from Amazon, not the Amazon. |
1.6856 |
0.04304 |
334 |
172 |
95 |
67 |
10 |
It looks like we have a reptile dysfunction. |
1.6751 |
0.04552 |
317 |
172 |
76 |
69 |
11 |
No you fools, I told you to hire a civil SERVANT" |
1.6531 |
0.04679 |
294 |
163 |
70 |
61 |
12 |
You ordered from the wrong Amazon again, didn't you? |
1.6456 |
0.04705 |
285 |
158 |
70 |
57 |
13 |
No, what I said was we need more stakeholders. |
1.6431 |
0.04655 |
283 |
155 |
74 |
54 |
14 |
Tell the front desk to bring doughnuts and a small rabbit to the conference room. |
1.6418 |
0.04505 |
282 |
149 |
85 |
48 |
15 |
Is that from Amazon? |
1.6354 |
0.04634 |
277 |
151 |
76 |
50 |
16 |
The word is he did great things over at Apple. |
1.6255 |
0.04784 |
267 |
150 |
67 |
50 |
17 |
I hope this means the toilet is now working. |
1.6183 |
0.04586 |
262 |
141 |
80 |
41 |
18 |
I see we're finally cleaning out the fridge. |
1.6183 |
0.04865 |
262 |
150 |
62 |
50 |
19 |
Sir, you should probably assume your human form for the shareholders meeting. |
1.6169 |
0.04820 |
261 |
148 |
65 |
48 |
20 |
Ah. My Amazon delivery. |
1.6163 |
0.04741 |
258 |
143 |
71 |
44 |
21 |
Not as charming as the gecko, but we'll give it a shot. |
1.6118 |
0.04625 |
255 |
138 |
78 |
39 |
22 |
I said we need stakeholders. |
1.6087 |
0.05107 |
253 |
152 |
48 |
53 |
23 |
Let's start thinking in the box. |
1.6087 |
0.04919 |
253 |
146 |
60 |
47 |
24 |
I thought Milton Berle was dead. |
1.6056 |
0.05531 |
251 |
165 |
20 |
66 |
25 |
No. What i said was, "We need a gigantic shake up here." |
1.6040 |
0.04739 |
250 |
139 |
71 |
40 |
26 |
Just add it to the list of possible side effects. |
1.6032 |
0.04921 |
247 |
142 |
61 |
44 |
27 |
Didn't work out in accounting. Turns out he's only an adder. |
1.6000 |
0.04989 |
245 |
143 |
57 |
45 |
28 |
Ok fine, I'll call the plumber. |
1.6000 |
0.04713 |
245 |
135 |
73 |
37 |
29 |
Couldn't we just get a shredder? |
1.5967 |
0.04526 |
243 |
129 |
83 |
31 |
30 |
Right, never too early to bring in Legal. |
1.5967 |
0.04957 |
243 |
141 |
59 |
43 |
31 |
Why, no I haven't seen Bob. Why do you ask? |
1.5950 |
0.04691 |
242 |
133 |
74 |
35 |
32 |
No - I did NOT say I had 'a reptile dysfunction'! |
1.5934 |
0.05229 |
241 |
148 |
43 |
50 |
33 |
He's transferring in from legal. |
1.5892 |
0.04819 |
241 |
137 |
66 |
38 |
34 |
Just remember to wipe down the microwave when you're done |
1.5890 |
0.05045 |
236 |
139 |
55 |
42 |
35 |
Put a tie on him and get over to Fox News. |
1.5855 |
0.05009 |
234 |
137 |
57 |
40 |
36 |
Now, that's a moray! |
1.5819 |
0.05263 |
232 |
143 |
43 |
46 |
37 |
It's the last envelope he has to lick. |
1.5801 |
0.04758 |
231 |
129 |
70 |
32 |
38 |
Let me guess--first time ordering from Amazon? |
1.5801 |
0.04758 |
231 |
129 |
70 |
32 |
39 |
If it tells you to try Apple products, resist the temptation. |
1.5801 |
0.05138 |
231 |
139 |
50 |
42 |
40 |
I think we should stick with pink slips. |
1.5783 |
0.04654 |
230 |
126 |
75 |
29 |
41 |
Predatory lending is down the hall. |
1.5783 |
0.04970 |
230 |
134 |
59 |
37 |
42 |
We found what was jamming the printer. |
1.5764 |
0.05064 |
229 |
136 |
54 |
39 |
43 |
No, no, I asked if you guys could find Ann a condo. |
1.5764 |
0.05102 |
229 |
137 |
52 |
40 |
44 |
This decision may come back to bite us. |
1.5708 |
0.04638 |
226 |
124 |
75 |
27 |
45 |
I see you've found the cause of the paper jam. |
1.5695 |
0.05138 |
223 |
134 |
51 |
38 |
46 |
Tell him again , we don't use Apple products here and we won't be tempted to. |
1.5636 |
0.05075 |
220 |
131 |
54 |
35 |
47 |
Let's stick with the gekko |
1.5636 |
0.05075 |
220 |
131 |
54 |
35 |
48 |
I don't think I.T. entirely understood my mouse problem. |
1.5622 |
0.04919 |
217 |
125 |
62 |
30 |
49 |
I said I wanted a bigger STAKE in the company. |
1.5616 |
0.05012 |
219 |
129 |
57 |
33 |
50 |
No, what I said was that we need a bigger STAKE in the company. |
1.5616 |
0.04842 |
219 |
125 |
65 |
29 |
51 |
Get him a desk in Legal. |
1.5602 |
0.05067 |
216 |
128 |
55 |
33 |
52 |
I thought we agreed not to invite Legal to this meeting. |
1.5596 |
0.05196 |
218 |
133 |
48 |
37 |
53 |
Um, I think we should go back to thinking 'inside the box'. |
1.5581 |
0.04868 |
215 |
123 |
64 |
28 |
54 |
Oh dear, another case of reptile dysfunction. |
1.5581 |
0.05213 |
215 |
131 |
48 |
36 |
55 |
I'm afraid this idea doesn't have any legs |
1.5581 |
0.04732 |
215 |
120 |
70 |
25 |
56 |
I think we figured out the reason for the huge employee turnover on the fourth floor. |
1.5556 |
0.04763 |
216 |
122 |
68 |
26 |
57 |
His résumé said he used to work at Amazon, which is technically true. |
1.5519 |
0.05058 |
212 |
126 |
55 |
31 |
58 |
Put him in charge of low-hanging fruit. |
1.5519 |
0.05232 |
212 |
130 |
47 |
35 |
59 |
Impressive, but the other attorneys brought a mongoose. |
1.5510 |
0.05328 |
196 |
118 |
48 |
30 |
60 |
We've had complaints that your emotional support animal keeps eating other emotional support animals. |
1.5498 |
0.05209 |
211 |
129 |
48 |
34 |
61 |
We need to clean the refrigerator more often. |
1.5498 |
0.04988 |
211 |
124 |
58 |
29 |
62 |
I know what it looks like, but the guy's got a killer resume. |
1.5481 |
0.05043 |
208 |
123 |
56 |
29 |
63 |
So it is a hostile takeover. |
1.5476 |
0.04915 |
210 |
122 |
61 |
27 |
64 |
I see you've brought along your own lawyer. |
1.5476 |
0.04868 |
210 |
121 |
63 |
26 |
65 |
I said, "Bring me the rep file." |
1.5459 |
0.05155 |
207 |
125 |
51 |
31 |
66 |
So you think you know where my left arm is? |
1.5459 |
0.05109 |
207 |
124 |
53 |
30 |
67 |
He's in his office. Why? |
1.5459 |
0.05200 |
207 |
126 |
49 |
32 |
68 |
Surely you can find a better 2-hole punch? |
1.5455 |
0.05141 |
198 |
117 |
54 |
27 |
69 |
I meant, "snack". Damn autocorrect. |
1.5437 |
0.05266 |
206 |
127 |
46 |
33 |
70 |
Mine's bigger. |
1.5437 |
0.05221 |
206 |
126 |
48 |
32 |
71 |
I thought we weren't bringing our attorneys. |
1.5431 |
0.05310 |
197 |
120 |
47 |
30 |
72 |
I see the boss hired another relative. |
1.5415 |
0.05008 |
205 |
121 |
57 |
27 |
73 |
I meant the kind plumbers use. |
1.5369 |
0.05143 |
203 |
123 |
51 |
29 |
74 |
...and so we're letting both of you go, but you are eligible for COBRA. |
1.5369 |
0.05420 |
203 |
129 |
39 |
35 |
75 |
Whatever you do, don't assign him an office near Eve. |
1.5369 |
0.05096 |
203 |
122 |
53 |
28 |
76 |
I didn't know we were bringing in outside counsel |
1.5369 |
0.04800 |
203 |
116 |
65 |
22 |
77 |
I said I want you to be 'Stakeholders'! |
1.5350 |
0.05299 |
200 |
124 |
45 |
31 |
78 |
No, I'm quite sure it was "stakeholders," a meeting of all STAKEholders. |
1.5347 |
0.05258 |
202 |
125 |
46 |
31 |
79 |
We're tax attorneys. The taxidermists are on the third floor. |
1.5327 |
0.05224 |
199 |
122 |
48 |
29 |
80 |
I din't say "anaconda" I said "add a comma"! |
1.5327 |
0.05224 |
199 |
122 |
48 |
29 |
81 |
I'm afraid you can't bring your service animal anymore. Some of your coworkers are feeling constricted. |
1.5327 |
0.05224 |
199 |
122 |
48 |
29 |
82 |
Take him to accounting - they could use another adder. |
1.5327 |
0.05273 |
199 |
123 |
46 |
30 |
83 |
No need to introduce yourself.... you must be my wife's attorney! |
1.5327 |
0.05273 |
199 |
123 |
46 |
30 |
84 |
I see they sent someone from corporate this time. |
1.5327 |
0.05175 |
199 |
121 |
50 |
28 |
85 |
Actually, I called a meeting of the large stakeholders. |
1.5327 |
0.05415 |
199 |
126 |
40 |
33 |
86 |
Wow, mystery solved! I thought people were just on vacation. |
1.5327 |
0.05415 |
199 |
126 |
40 |
33 |
87 |
No, no, no - I said we needed a couple of new "stakeholders"! |
1.5327 |
0.05126 |
199 |
120 |
52 |
27 |
88 |
Sorry guys, the agenda should have said stakeholders, not snakeholders. |
1.5327 |
0.05175 |
199 |
121 |
50 |
28 |
89 |
I'll tell the boss you found his chihuahua. |
1.5303 |
0.05147 |
198 |
120 |
51 |
27 |
90 |
I think she wanted a FEATHER one. |
1.5303 |
0.05097 |
198 |
119 |
53 |
26 |
91 |
No, this is accounting, you're looking for legal, that's up on 10. |
1.5303 |
0.05196 |
198 |
121 |
49 |
28 |
92 |
"Guys, there is no need to reinvent the eel". |
1.5279 |
0.05167 |
197 |
120 |
50 |
27 |
93 |
Anything found in the employee fridge without a name and date gets tossed. |
1.5255 |
0.04982 |
196 |
116 |
57 |
23 |
94 |
Add him to the office pool. |
1.5255 |
0.05188 |
196 |
120 |
49 |
27 |
95 |
I know today's the 'Bring Your Pets to Work Day' but many people say they couldn't find their pets anymore... |
1.5255 |
0.05434 |
196 |
125 |
39 |
32 |
96 |
I think his management style might be too constricting. |
1.5255 |
0.04600 |
196 |
109 |
71 |
16 |
97 |
Oh good, Legal has arrived. |
1.5255 |
0.04982 |
196 |
116 |
57 |
23 |
98 |
There must have been a typo in the notice. This meeting is for STAKE-holders. |
1.5231 |
0.05209 |
195 |
120 |
48 |
27 |
99 |
When did we go open carry? |
1.5231 |
0.05054 |
195 |
117 |
54 |
24 |
100 |
I didn't mean it literally! Take that back and bring me an actual lawyer. |
1.5231 |
0.05457 |
195 |
125 |
38 |
32 |
101 |
That's the last time we use Monster.com. |
1.5231 |
0.05002 |
195 |
116 |
56 |
23 |
102 |
Make sure he completes the sexual harassment training. |
1.5208 |
0.05167 |
192 |
117 |
50 |
25 |
103 |
You'd better run that by Legal... oh, wait. That is Legal. |
1.5208 |
0.05622 |
192 |
126 |
32 |
34 |
104 |
Python is a programming language, you nitwits. |
1.5208 |
0.05272 |
192 |
119 |
46 |
27 |
105 |
I said add one percent, not one serpent. |
1.5183 |
0.05345 |
191 |
120 |
43 |
28 |
106 |
I wasn't expecting anything from Amazon! |
1.5183 |
0.05188 |
191 |
117 |
49 |
25 |
107 |
No, no. I said, 'We should buy a bigger *stake*.' |
1.5183 |
0.05081 |
191 |
115 |
53 |
23 |
108 |
The employee you need to terminate is in the first office on the left. |
1.5158 |
0.04991 |
190 |
113 |
56 |
21 |
109 |
I'm not sure we have that kind of wiggle room. |
1.5158 |
0.04935 |
190 |
112 |
58 |
20 |
110 |
I said get me a large SHAKE! |
1.5158 |
0.05156 |
190 |
116 |
50 |
24 |
111 |
The meeting was for STAKEHOLDERS... |
1.5158 |
0.05263 |
190 |
118 |
46 |
26 |
112 |
I see that there was a typo in my 'Haul-your-asp-to-my-office' memo. |
1.5158 |
0.05315 |
190 |
119 |
44 |
27 |
113 |
I thought his resume said worked at Amazon, not in the Amazon. |
1.5158 |
0.04991 |
190 |
113 |
56 |
21 |
114 |
It's our biggest idea, but it has no legs. |
1.5158 |
0.05047 |
190 |
114 |
54 |
22 |
115 |
I said I wanted an extra large shake. |
1.5158 |
0.05156 |
190 |
116 |
50 |
24 |
116 |
Maybe we should cancel our Amazon Rewards Program. |
1.5158 |
0.05047 |
190 |
114 |
54 |
22 |
117 |
I didn't know Legal was hiring. |
1.5158 |
0.05367 |
190 |
120 |
42 |
28 |
118 |
No....What I said was that I want to meet our stakeholders. |
1.5132 |
0.05284 |
189 |
118 |
45 |
26 |
119 |
Well, that explains the missing lab rats. |
1.5132 |
0.05390 |
189 |
120 |
41 |
28 |
120 |
Devour the Competition was a metaphor. |
1.5108 |
0.04896 |
186 |
109 |
59 |
18 |
121 |
He is a lifetime civil serpent. |
1.5108 |
0.05404 |
186 |
118 |
41 |
27 |
122 |
No wonder it wouldn't flush. |
1.5108 |
0.05240 |
186 |
115 |
47 |
24 |
123 |
This just came from Amazon. |
1.5106 |
0.05031 |
188 |
113 |
54 |
21 |
124 |
Reptile dysfunction? |
1.5081 |
0.05317 |
185 |
116 |
44 |
25 |
125 |
I'll let you handle his exit interview. |
1.5081 |
0.05262 |
185 |
115 |
46 |
24 |
126 |
Well, he has some of the qualities we're looking for! |
1.5081 |
0.05033 |
185 |
111 |
54 |
20 |
127 |
Release him in personnel. We need to downsize. |
1.5080 |
0.05488 |
187 |
121 |
37 |
29 |
128 |
I don't think that qualifies as an Emotional Support Animal. |
1.5054 |
0.05170 |
184 |
113 |
49 |
22 |
129 |
Just when we got rid of the 800 lb. gorilla in the room! |
1.5054 |
0.04994 |
184 |
110 |
55 |
19 |
130 |
Where was he this time? |
1.5054 |
0.05449 |
184 |
118 |
39 |
27 |
131 |
Johnson? No. I haven't seen him all week. |
1.5054 |
0.05283 |
184 |
115 |
45 |
24 |
132 |
A mousetrap would have sufficed. |
1.5054 |
0.05227 |
184 |
114 |
47 |
23 |
133 |
Is this why none of our computers have a mouse? |
1.5054 |
0.05112 |
184 |
112 |
51 |
21 |
134 |
Sure beats the whoopee cushion we got him last year! |
1.5027 |
0.05527 |
183 |
119 |
36 |
28 |
135 |
Better count the interns while your at it... |
1.5027 |
0.05249 |
183 |
114 |
46 |
23 |
136 |
I was hoping we could resolve this without bringing legal in. |
1.5027 |
0.05305 |
183 |
115 |
44 |
24 |
137 |
I said, ASAP. Not ASP. |
1.5027 |
0.05417 |
183 |
117 |
40 |
26 |
138 |
"I see they are finally hiring in the legal department' |
1.5000 |
0.05384 |
182 |
116 |
41 |
25 |
139 |
Yes, but we'll never have to lick another envelope. |
1.5000 |
0.05212 |
182 |
113 |
47 |
22 |
140 |
Wow, you guys have been really hauling asp today. |
1.5000 |
0.05270 |
182 |
114 |
45 |
23 |
141 |
Previous work in Eden, huh? Put him in sales. |
1.4972 |
0.05234 |
181 |
113 |
46 |
22 |
142 |
I think I liked the elephant in the room better. |
1.4972 |
0.04994 |
181 |
109 |
54 |
18 |
143 |
No, no, I was asking to meet with the "stakeholders." |
1.4972 |
0.05575 |
181 |
119 |
34 |
28 |
144 |
He gets a new water bowl every morning and a live intern in the afternoon. |
1.4972 |
0.05407 |
181 |
116 |
40 |
25 |
145 |
I said I wanted a bigger stake in the business. |
1.4972 |
0.05350 |
181 |
115 |
42 |
24 |
146 |
Wrong floor. Legal is on twelve. |
1.4972 |
0.05292 |
181 |
114 |
44 |
23 |
147 |
Legal? Third door on the left. |
1.4972 |
0.04994 |
181 |
109 |
54 |
18 |
148 |
No, not an ad campaign for reptile dysfunction..... |
1.4972 |
0.05453 |
179 |
115 |
39 |
25 |
149 |
Another reptile dysfunction? |
1.4972 |
0.05623 |
179 |
118 |
33 |
28 |
150 |
I don't think your idea has any legs. |
1.4972 |
0.05096 |
179 |
109 |
51 |
19 |
151 |
Corporate wants something with legs. |
1.4945 |
0.05270 |
182 |
115 |
44 |
23 |
152 |
Put it in legal with the others. |
1.4915 |
0.05441 |
177 |
114 |
39 |
24 |
153 |
I was imagining a different sort of scalability. |
1.4915 |
0.05138 |
177 |
109 |
49 |
19 |
154 |
I assume you're here for the Snakeholder Meeting? |
1.4915 |
0.05441 |
177 |
114 |
39 |
24 |
155 |
No, I said I liked the eclectic feel around the office. |
1.4915 |
0.05261 |
177 |
111 |
45 |
21 |
156 |
Remember to set him up with a touchpad. We don't need a repeat of the mouse incident. |
1.4915 |
0.05672 |
177 |
118 |
31 |
28 |
157 |
Well, he did put 'strangles the competition' on his résumé.' |
1.4915 |
0.05075 |
177 |
108 |
51 |
18 |
158 |
Well, Mr. Trump did want a running mate who was more likeable than him. |
1.4888 |
0.05534 |
178 |
117 |
35 |
26 |
159 |
Finally a cold-blooded pragmatist around here. |
1.4886 |
0.05582 |
176 |
116 |
34 |
26 |
160 |
I'm in no mood for metaphors |
1.4886 |
0.05465 |
176 |
114 |
38 |
24 |
161 |
OK, guys, all the mice are gone. Get rid of it before questions about Mr. Johnson's Bull Dog comes up. |
1.4886 |
0.05465 |
176 |
114 |
38 |
24 |
162 |
Sorry, we have to let you go. We're scaling down. |
1.4886 |
0.05283 |
176 |
111 |
44 |
21 |
163 |
I said "Send in the stakeholders"... |
1.4857 |
0.05548 |
175 |
115 |
35 |
25 |
164 |
Take him upstairs. He'll be working in legal. |
1.4857 |
0.05548 |
175 |
115 |
35 |
25 |
165 |
Take that to Eve in produce. |
1.4828 |
0.05328 |
174 |
111 |
42 |
21 |
166 |
has anyone seen Bob in accounting? |
1.4828 |
0.05512 |
174 |
114 |
36 |
24 |
167 |
I mean nobody's LinkedIn profile is completely honest. |
1.4826 |
0.05499 |
172 |
112 |
37 |
23 |
168 |
I never thought our IRS audit would be done by a civil serpent. |
1.4826 |
0.05311 |
172 |
109 |
43 |
20 |
169 |
Gentlemen, your proposal hasn't got a leg to stand on. |
1.4826 |
0.04911 |
172 |
103 |
55 |
14 |
170 |
It's the new hire from Amazon. |
1.4800 |
0.05242 |
175 |
111 |
44 |
20 |
171 |
I may have mumbled.... but I know I said STAKEHOLDERS MEETING |
1.4795 |
0.05333 |
171 |
109 |
42 |
20 |
172 |
Inhuman Resources, third floor. |
1.4795 |
0.05646 |
171 |
114 |
32 |
25 |
173 |
Careful, he's on the Boa Directors. |
1.4795 |
0.05767 |
171 |
116 |
28 |
27 |
174 |
Just so you know, Eve has filed a sexual harassment suit. |
1.4767 |
0.05373 |
172 |
111 |
40 |
21 |
175 |
'We've got to come up with a better way to seal envelopes.' |
1.4765 |
0.04950 |
170 |
103 |
53 |
14 |
176 |
Just put it with the others. |
1.4765 |
0.05020 |
170 |
104 |
51 |
15 |
177 |
"I told you idiots to hire a civil 'servant'... |
1.4765 |
0.05420 |
170 |
110 |
39 |
21 |
178 |
It's not eligible for COBRA benefits. |
1.4765 |
0.05157 |
170 |
106 |
47 |
17 |
179 |
The client changed their minds again...they're staying with the gekko. |
1.4765 |
0.05356 |
170 |
109 |
41 |
20 |
180 |
You know, everyone else catches Pokemon at lunch. |
1.4765 |
0.05420 |
170 |
110 |
39 |
21 |
181 |
Morey. I said bring me Morey, |
1.4765 |
0.05420 |
170 |
110 |
39 |
21 |
182 |
Before you let him go have him sign this release form. |
1.4765 |
0.05020 |
170 |
104 |
51 |
15 |
183 |
That's it, Bill, you're fired – and take your two handlers with you. |
1.4765 |
0.05547 |
170 |
112 |
35 |
23 |
184 |
On second thought, let's call a plumber. |
1.4765 |
0.05157 |
170 |
106 |
47 |
17 |
185 |
No guys, I told you I needed a good Boeing contractor. |
1.4765 |
0.05290 |
170 |
108 |
43 |
19 |
186 |
Yes, That would be my Amazon order. |
1.4765 |
0.05224 |
170 |
107 |
45 |
18 |
187 |
I said to find a civil SERVANT |
1.4765 |
0.05356 |
170 |
109 |
41 |
20 |
188 |
We're going to need a few more rules for "Bring your pet to work day." |
1.4734 |
0.05508 |
169 |
111 |
36 |
22 |
189 |
Let's get you into hair and makeup, Mr. Trump. |
1.4734 |
0.05571 |
169 |
112 |
34 |
23 |
190 |
I hate these team building exercises. |
1.4734 |
0.05443 |
169 |
110 |
38 |
21 |
191 |
... and finally, you can't type worth a damn. |
1.4734 |
0.05508 |
169 |
111 |
36 |
22 |
192 |
You're too late, they settled 5 minutes ago. |
1.4734 |
0.05378 |
169 |
109 |
40 |
20 |
193 |
You misunderstood me. I want each employee to have a STAKE in our company. |
1.4734 |
0.05378 |
169 |
109 |
40 |
20 |
194 |
Let HR handle it |
1.4734 |
0.05378 |
169 |
109 |
40 |
20 |
195 |
Reread the memo. The boss wants something from Amazon, not from the Amazon. |
1.4702 |
0.05131 |
168 |
105 |
47 |
16 |
196 |
No, no--that memo was about stakeholders. |
1.4702 |
0.05532 |
168 |
111 |
35 |
22 |
197 |
I'm getting a bad feeling about my missing intern. |
1.4702 |
0.05131 |
168 |
105 |
47 |
16 |
198 |
It was a metaphor, guys. |
1.4699 |
0.05245 |
166 |
105 |
44 |
17 |
199 |
I think the staff will be more productive with fewer constrictions. |
1.4699 |
0.05647 |
166 |
111 |
32 |
23 |
200 |
Wouldn't a couple of mouse traps be easier? |
1.4699 |
0.05245 |
166 |
105 |
44 |
17 |
201 |
Put him in the conference room with the other attorneys. |
1.4699 |
0.05516 |
166 |
109 |
36 |
21 |
202 |
Ah, I see the Legal Dept. has a new intern. |
1.4699 |
0.05582 |
166 |
110 |
34 |
22 |
203 |
The other lawyers are in the conference room. |
1.4699 |
0.05175 |
166 |
104 |
46 |
16 |
204 |
Is that my Amazon delivery? |
1.4699 |
0.05582 |
166 |
110 |
34 |
22 |
205 |
Remember when we used to just give people pink slips? |
1.4667 |
0.05052 |
165 |
102 |
49 |
14 |
206 |
You want the den of vipers — that's up one floor in pharmaceuticals. |
1.4667 |
0.05405 |
165 |
107 |
39 |
19 |
207 |
This will be the last "bring your pet to work" day. |
1.4634 |
0.05218 |
164 |
104 |
44 |
16 |
208 |
The rat race seems to attract them. |
1.4634 |
0.05359 |
164 |
106 |
40 |
18 |
209 |
Take that back to Trump Tower where you found it. |
1.4634 |
0.05698 |
164 |
111 |
30 |
23 |
210 |
No wonder the copier was jamming. |
1.4634 |
0.05359 |
164 |
106 |
40 |
18 |
211 |
Well, that explains my missing mongoose. |
1.4634 |
0.05497 |
164 |
108 |
36 |
20 |
212 |
Let me guess - another team building exercise. |
1.4634 |
0.05429 |
164 |
107 |
38 |
19 |
213 |
I'm relieved. I thought we had a mole. |
1.4634 |
0.05218 |
164 |
104 |
44 |
16 |
214 |
The good news is, we no longer have a whistle blower problem. |
1.4634 |
0.05218 |
164 |
104 |
44 |
16 |
215 |
Bob, it looks like we'll have to move your therapy snake further away from Ms. Jenning's therapy rabbits. |
1.4634 |
0.05497 |
164 |
108 |
36 |
20 |
216 |
I'm tempted, but knowing good from evil might cramp our style. |
1.4601 |
0.05657 |
163 |
110 |
31 |
22 |
217 |
Well, we found out what happened to Janet from accounting. |
1.4601 |
0.05240 |
163 |
104 |
43 |
16 |
218 |
If you had cleaned out the break room fridge when you were supposed to, you wouldn't have this problem. |
1.4601 |
0.04786 |
163 |
98 |
55 |
10 |
219 |
Welcome to Goldman Sachs, you'll fit right in. |
1.4601 |
0.05589 |
163 |
109 |
33 |
21 |
220 |
Good to have legal back. |
1.4601 |
0.05382 |
163 |
106 |
39 |
18 |
221 |
Maybe we should just let the plumber handle it. |
1.4601 |
0.05240 |
163 |
104 |
43 |
16 |
222 |
Get Him a suit and tie, he's due in court in an hour. |
1.4601 |
0.05167 |
163 |
103 |
45 |
15 |
223 |
This way, Mr. Ailes. Your new host body is waiting in Mr. Trump's office. |
1.4601 |
0.05789 |
163 |
112 |
27 |
24 |
224 |
I see Bob made an asp of himself at the board meeting again. |
1.4601 |
0.05452 |
163 |
107 |
37 |
19 |
225 |
"Take it up to legal, and get it a desk.' |
1.4578 |
0.05577 |
166 |
112 |
32 |
22 |
226 |
Finally, an intern who won't be wanting a stand-up desk. |
1.4568 |
0.05188 |
162 |
103 |
44 |
15 |
227 |
I think you misunderstood "from" Amazon. |
1.4568 |
0.05113 |
162 |
102 |
46 |
14 |
228 |
"Tell me again what's wrong with the old mouse trap". |
1.4568 |
0.05334 |
162 |
105 |
40 |
17 |
229 |
I ordered a large "SHAKE." |
1.4568 |
0.05334 |
162 |
105 |
40 |
17 |
230 |
I think we've found the reason for the printer paper jam. |
1.4568 |
0.05476 |
162 |
107 |
36 |
19 |
231 |
If it fits, it ships! |
1.4568 |
0.05405 |
162 |
106 |
38 |
18 |
232 |
Put him in the CEO's chair and see if anyone notices. |
1.4568 |
0.05405 |
162 |
106 |
38 |
18 |
233 |
Tile Rep. Reptile. Anyone could make that mistake. |
1.4568 |
0.05682 |
162 |
110 |
30 |
22 |
234 |
Good solution, but is it scalable? |
1.4568 |
0.05405 |
162 |
106 |
38 |
18 |
235 |
I hate bring your pet to work day. |
1.4568 |
0.05261 |
162 |
104 |
42 |
16 |
236 |
The other lawyers are waiting in Conference Room B. |
1.4568 |
0.05614 |
162 |
109 |
32 |
21 |
237 |
He ate Simpson's Viagra.Hurry- or you'll never get him in the elevator. |
1.4568 |
0.05545 |
162 |
108 |
34 |
20 |
238 |
No, NO! I said I wanted our employees to be big STAKEholders. |
1.4563 |
0.05526 |
160 |
106 |
35 |
19 |
239 |
Any luck finding that missing intern? |
1.4563 |
0.05309 |
160 |
103 |
41 |
16 |
240 |
This is the absolute last time I send you two guys out for sushi! |
1.4563 |
0.05455 |
160 |
105 |
37 |
18 |
241 |
Eve will be here in a few minutes with her side of the story. |
1.4563 |
0.05382 |
160 |
104 |
39 |
17 |
242 |
Isn't there enough venom in this department already? |
1.4563 |
0.05234 |
160 |
102 |
43 |
15 |
243 |
No, no! I said that I wished that I had a larger stake in the business. |
1.4563 |
0.05526 |
160 |
106 |
35 |
19 |
244 |
Right, sorry millennials, I meant Monty Python. |
1.4545 |
0.05535 |
154 |
101 |
36 |
17 |
245 |
Now that's a better mouse trap. |
1.4533 |
0.05145 |
150 |
93 |
46 |
11 |
246 |
Nice asp Ted. |
1.4528 |
0.05405 |
159 |
104 |
38 |
17 |
247 |
I want everything converted from Python to Java by this afternoon. |
1.4528 |
0.05180 |
159 |
101 |
44 |
14 |
248 |
This is Sales. You want HR. |
1.4528 |
0.05478 |
159 |
105 |
36 |
18 |
249 |
Sales haven't improved. Release it on level three. |
1.4528 |
0.05692 |
159 |
108 |
30 |
21 |
250 |
I knew he was a snake when we hired him. |
1.4528 |
0.05405 |
159 |
104 |
38 |
17 |
251 |
I see you finally decided to clean out the breakroom fridge. |
1.4528 |
0.04944 |
159 |
98 |
50 |
11 |
252 |
I see you found our closer. |
1.4528 |
0.05256 |
159 |
102 |
42 |
15 |
253 |
Which one of you is the lawyer? |
1.4528 |
0.05405 |
159 |
104 |
38 |
17 |
254 |
Make him comfortable. A client is a client! |
1.4494 |
0.04963 |
158 |
98 |
49 |
11 |
255 |
Don't try to tell me that's a service animal. |
1.4494 |
0.05502 |
158 |
105 |
35 |
18 |
256 |
I don't think your new pet project has legs. |
1.4494 |
0.05428 |
158 |
104 |
37 |
17 |
257 |
Get him out before Eve files another harassment suit. |
1.4494 |
0.05428 |
158 |
104 |
37 |
17 |
258 |
I asked for a large shake. |
1.4494 |
0.05575 |
158 |
106 |
33 |
19 |
259 |
Cripes! I told you two to find my aunt a condo! |
1.4494 |
0.05647 |
158 |
107 |
31 |
20 |
260 |
Which law school? |
1.4459 |
0.05526 |
157 |
105 |
34 |
18 |
261 |
That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said that our company needs a robust COBRA plan! |
1.4459 |
0.05376 |
157 |
103 |
38 |
16 |
262 |
This the guy saying go with Apple? |
1.4459 |
0.05814 |
157 |
109 |
26 |
22 |
263 |
Shouldn't he be down in Legal? |
1.4459 |
0.05599 |
157 |
106 |
32 |
19 |
264 |
Can you guys help me install Python? |
1.4459 |
0.05672 |
157 |
107 |
30 |
20 |
265 |
So, we're literally going to be selling snake oil? |
1.4459 |
0.05599 |
157 |
106 |
32 |
19 |
266 |
Have you guys seen Bill? |
1.4459 |
0.05143 |
157 |
100 |
44 |
13 |
267 |
Yeah, Don gets like this. Just let him sleep it off in his office. |
1.4459 |
0.05376 |
157 |
103 |
38 |
16 |
268 |
So, I take it the rats are back. |
1.4459 |
0.05300 |
157 |
102 |
40 |
15 |
269 |
I guess we should have specified what we meant by pet project. |
1.4452 |
0.05270 |
155 |
100 |
41 |
14 |
270 |
Now they’ll know the meaning of deadline. |
1.4452 |
0.05942 |
155 |
109 |
23 |
23 |
271 |
I said I wanted to meet with all of our STAKEholders |
1.4452 |
0.05799 |
155 |
107 |
27 |
21 |
272 |
I see you found what was jamming the copy machine. |
1.4452 |
0.05426 |
155 |
102 |
37 |
16 |
273 |
No, I said, 'Get me a big stake in the company'! |
1.4452 |
0.05426 |
155 |
102 |
37 |
16 |
274 |
Well ... This certainly explains the dwindling secretarial pool! |
1.4452 |
0.05579 |
155 |
104 |
33 |
18 |
275 |
Johnson, your emotional support animal has eaten another IT guy. |
1.4452 |
0.05503 |
155 |
103 |
35 |
17 |
276 |
Forked tongue? P.R, must have ordered it. |
1.4452 |
0.05270 |
155 |
100 |
41 |
14 |
277 |
If Johnson keeps on mixing up "literally" and "figuratively" he will never make partner. |
1.4452 |
0.05270 |
155 |
100 |
41 |
14 |
278 |
Isn't there a simpler way to terminate Jensen? |
1.4452 |
0.05349 |
155 |
101 |
39 |
15 |
279 |
He's a comfort snake--here's the paperwork. |
1.4452 |
0.05270 |
155 |
100 |
41 |
14 |
280 |
Word of advice: if he offers you an apple, don't eat it. |
1.4452 |
0.05579 |
155 |
104 |
33 |
18 |
281 |
Impressive growth in the first quarter |
1.4452 |
0.05189 |
155 |
99 |
43 |
13 |
282 |
Ooh...someone's in for a tongue-lashing. |
1.4452 |
0.05426 |
155 |
102 |
37 |
16 |
283 |
Just put it on my desk. I'll have my secretary take care of it. |
1.4452 |
0.05653 |
155 |
105 |
31 |
19 |
284 |
We're cleaning out the break room fridge. |
1.4430 |
0.05498 |
158 |
106 |
34 |
18 |
285 |
He's from corporate. |
1.4430 |
0.05714 |
158 |
109 |
28 |
21 |
286 |
Whatever, but all emotional support animals must be cleared with HR |
1.4423 |
0.05322 |
156 |
102 |
39 |
15 |
287 |
So that's why the printer was jammed. |
1.4423 |
0.05243 |
156 |
101 |
41 |
14 |
288 |
Take him over to sales, he'll fit right in. |
1.4423 |
0.05399 |
156 |
103 |
37 |
16 |
289 |
When you said you had to go "drain the snake" I thought... |
1.4416 |
0.05678 |
154 |
105 |
30 |
19 |
290 |
Adam and Eve are in Conference Room B. |
1.4416 |
0.05450 |
154 |
102 |
36 |
16 |
291 |
I wasn't told we'd be getting a visit from Corporate today. |
1.4416 |
0.05211 |
154 |
99 |
42 |
13 |
292 |
It says right here: '...and other duties as assigned'. |
1.4416 |
0.05527 |
154 |
103 |
34 |
17 |
293 |
We're just showing the new civil serpent around the office. |
1.4416 |
0.05527 |
154 |
103 |
34 |
17 |
294 |
I'm pretty sure that was a spelling error. |
1.4416 |
0.05603 |
154 |
104 |
32 |
18 |
295 |
You guys didn't mention the forked tongue. Let's put him in the legal department. |
1.4416 |
0.05527 |
154 |
103 |
34 |
17 |
296 |
If it's an adder, stick it in accounting. If it's a constrictor, put it in sales. If it's poisonous, put it in the CEO's office. |
1.4416 |
0.05450 |
154 |
102 |
36 |
16 |
297 |
His desk is over there, but I think he'll need more than one mouse. |
1.4416 |
0.05450 |
154 |
102 |
36 |
16 |
298 |
So all that anti-virus stuff doesn't prevent these? |
1.4416 |
0.05527 |
154 |
103 |
34 |
17 |
299 |
I'm sorry. The job offer was for a civil servant. |
1.4416 |
0.05603 |
154 |
104 |
32 |
18 |
300 |
When I told you to get me the biggest snake in town, I meant a lawyer. |
1.4416 |
0.05603 |
154 |
104 |
32 |
18 |
301 |
There's an empty cubicle between Adam and Eve. |
1.4416 |
0.05292 |
154 |
100 |
40 |
14 |
302 |
Put him in with Legal. |
1.4416 |
0.05826 |
154 |
107 |
26 |
21 |
303 |
Oh, good! That must be the new adder for accounting. |
1.4387 |
0.05265 |
155 |
101 |
40 |
14 |
304 |
We're missing two kids from Take Your Child to Work Day. |
1.4387 |
0.05499 |
155 |
104 |
34 |
17 |
305 |
Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Donald Trump's newest campaign manager. |
1.4379 |
0.05551 |
153 |
103 |
33 |
17 |
306 |
Sorry for the typo. This meeting is for STAKE-holders. |
1.4379 |
0.05628 |
153 |
104 |
31 |
18 |
307 |
No, no, no. Hire a civil *servant*! |
1.4379 |
0.05473 |
153 |
102 |
35 |
16 |
308 |
His resume looks good, but typing skills are going to be an issue. |
1.4379 |
0.05394 |
153 |
101 |
37 |
15 |
309 |
So that's what was causing the paper jam |
1.4379 |
0.05314 |
153 |
100 |
39 |
14 |
310 |
If he tries to get you to eat an apple, don't. |
1.4379 |
0.05314 |
153 |
100 |
39 |
14 |
311 |
Get your asp back to work! |
1.4379 |
0.05704 |
153 |
105 |
29 |
19 |
312 |
We're selling the oil, not the snake! |
1.4351 |
0.05366 |
154 |
102 |
37 |
15 |
313 |
Great, another bottom-feeder. |
1.4351 |
0.05287 |
154 |
101 |
39 |
14 |
314 |
Dare I ask how it went at the aquarium's bankruptcy hearing? |
1.4351 |
0.05445 |
154 |
103 |
35 |
16 |
315 |
It came with my Amazon Primal subscription. |
1.4342 |
0.05575 |
152 |
103 |
32 |
17 |
316 |
I can't believe he made partner before me. |
1.4342 |
0.05729 |
152 |
105 |
28 |
19 |
317 |
So that's what was jamming the copy machine. |
1.4342 |
0.05497 |
152 |
102 |
34 |
16 |
318 |
Damn auto-correct! That was suppose to say ASAP, not ASP. |
1.4342 |
0.05417 |
152 |
101 |
36 |
15 |
319 |
Let's put it in the pipeline and see what happens. |
1.4342 |
0.05653 |
152 |
104 |
30 |
18 |
320 |
I said I wanted a large SHAKE. |
1.4342 |
0.05336 |
152 |
100 |
38 |
14 |
321 |
Trump's changed campaign managers again. |
1.4314 |
0.05468 |
153 |
103 |
34 |
16 |
322 |
Anyone seen the boss's chihuahua? |
1.4305 |
0.05190 |
151 |
98 |
41 |
12 |
323 |
Conference room 2A. Mrs. Edith Higgins doesn't want to settle. |
1.4305 |
0.05358 |
151 |
100 |
37 |
14 |
324 |
COBRA Insurance? Take that to Human Resources. |
1.4305 |
0.05678 |
151 |
104 |
29 |
18 |
325 |
It's tempting.... |
1.4305 |
0.05520 |
151 |
102 |
33 |
16 |
326 |
So this is our competitive response to the Gecko. |
1.4305 |
0.05600 |
151 |
103 |
31 |
17 |
327 |
This should finally put an end to our capybara problem. |
1.4305 |
0.05678 |
151 |
104 |
29 |
18 |
328 |
Seat him with the other candidates. |
1.4305 |
0.05600 |
151 |
103 |
31 |
17 |
329 |
This floor is accounting. Lawyers are on 19. |
1.4305 |
0.05520 |
151 |
102 |
33 |
16 |
330 |
Hopefully this will get us the conference room |
1.4305 |
0.05275 |
151 |
99 |
39 |
13 |
331 |
I misread the memo: management wants a new constructor. |
1.4305 |
0.05358 |
151 |
100 |
37 |
14 |
332 |
I trust this will take care of our poodle problem. |
1.4305 |
0.05520 |
151 |
102 |
33 |
16 |
333 |
Can you get it to cough up Caruthers' ID badge? |
1.4305 |
0.05678 |
151 |
104 |
29 |
18 |
334 |
They're draining the typing pool. |
1.4305 |
0.05520 |
151 |
102 |
33 |
16 |
335 |
I don't think you guys quite grasp the concept of carrying COBRA. |
1.4305 |
0.05520 |
151 |
102 |
33 |
16 |
336 |
Has anyone seen Johnson? |
1.4305 |
0.05358 |
151 |
100 |
37 |
14 |
337 |
That's a moray? |
1.4295 |
0.05813 |
149 |
104 |
26 |
19 |
338 |
This is Accounting. Legal is on the 5th floor. |
1.4295 |
0.05409 |
149 |
99 |
36 |
14 |
339 |
If you have reptile dysfunction, I know of a cure. |
1.4295 |
0.05574 |
149 |
101 |
32 |
16 |
340 |
I wish I could accommodate that, but I'm afraid we don't have any wiggle room. |
1.4295 |
0.05151 |
149 |
96 |
42 |
11 |
341 |
Is this the new government mandated COBRA policy? |
1.4295 |
0.05655 |
149 |
102 |
30 |
17 |
342 |
"When you said 'therapy pet,' I just assumed 'dog'. |
1.4295 |
0.05574 |
149 |
101 |
32 |
16 |
343 |
It seemed like a good idea, but it didn't have legs. |
1.4267 |
0.05463 |
150 |
101 |
34 |
15 |
344 |
Last time I'm going to tell you, gentlemen, jackets are required in the office. |
1.4267 |
0.05934 |
150 |
107 |
22 |
21 |
345 |
Show Roger Ailes replacement to his office. |
1.4257 |
0.05680 |
148 |
102 |
29 |
17 |
346 |
I hate the paleo diet. |
1.4257 |
0.05346 |
148 |
98 |
37 |
13 |
347 |
Has anyone seen the intern? |
1.4257 |
0.05598 |
148 |
101 |
31 |
16 |
348 |
Finally...someone to swim with the sharks |
1.4257 |
0.05260 |
148 |
97 |
39 |
12 |
349 |
I see legal is moving again. |
1.4257 |
0.05760 |
148 |
103 |
27 |
18 |
350 |
Have either of you seen the intern? |
1.4257 |
0.05260 |
148 |
97 |
39 |
12 |
351 |
Don't get sushi at Costco. |
1.4257 |
0.05760 |
148 |
103 |
27 |
18 |
352 |
Now find a huge peanut brittle can. |
1.4257 |
0.05760 |
148 |
103 |
27 |
18 |
353 |
Can't you guys catch "Pokemon" like everyone else? |
1.4178 |
0.05121 |
146 |
95 |
41 |
10 |
354 |
Eve says, 'he knows too much'. |
1.4178 |
0.05563 |
146 |
100 |
31 |
15 |
355 |
The Donald's new campaign manager |
1.4178 |
0.05812 |
146 |
103 |
25 |
18 |
356 |
I asked for 2 "stakeholders"! |
1.4178 |
0.05893 |
146 |
104 |
23 |
19 |
357 |
So much for "bring your pet to work" day. Now we'll need a new accountant. |
1.4178 |
0.05812 |
146 |
103 |
25 |
18 |
358 |
When he first started here he was electric but I'm afraid the time has come to let him go. |
1.4178 |
0.05212 |
146 |
96 |
39 |
11 |
359 |
You really have no idea what the company cobra policy is, do you? |
1.4178 |
0.05390 |
146 |
98 |
35 |
13 |
360 |
Thanks for cleaning out that refrigerator. |
1.4178 |
0.05563 |
146 |
100 |
31 |
15 |
361 |
Just keep it away from Eve in accounting. |
1.4178 |
0.05812 |
146 |
103 |
25 |
18 |
362 |
Why is it that none of your ideas ever seem to have legs? |
1.4178 |
0.05390 |
146 |
98 |
35 |
13 |
363 |
He may lack the necessary venom to be a good executive. |
1.4178 |
0.05477 |
146 |
99 |
33 |
14 |
364 |
I said, "seal the deal," not "steal an eel." |
1.4178 |
0.05647 |
146 |
101 |
29 |
16 |
365 |
OK. Grab a rabbit out of my office, but I want him back on the phones in thirty. |
1.4167 |
0.05618 |
144 |
99 |
30 |
15 |
366 |
I don't think that is what the plumber wanted. |
1.4167 |
0.05261 |
144 |
95 |
38 |
11 |
367 |
Sorry, there was a bit of an auto-correct issue. We actually need a giant cake. |
1.4167 |
0.05789 |
144 |
101 |
26 |
17 |
368 |
Are you here to carry out our new COBRA policy? |
1.4167 |
0.05531 |
144 |
98 |
32 |
14 |
369 |
That's what was causing the paper jam? |
1.4167 |
0.05353 |
144 |
96 |
36 |
12 |
370 |
It's going to be interesting to see if Thompson wiggles out of this one. |
1.4167 |
0.05618 |
144 |
99 |
30 |
15 |
371 |
I thought I told you get your asp back to work. |
1.4138 |
0.05587 |
145 |
100 |
30 |
15 |
372 |
Yikes! Another delivery from Amazon? |
1.4138 |
0.05587 |
145 |
100 |
30 |
15 |
373 |
Isn't it a bit premature to bring in legal counsel? |
1.4138 |
0.05413 |
145 |
98 |
34 |
13 |
374 |
Put him in the think tank. |
1.4138 |
0.05500 |
145 |
99 |
32 |
14 |
375 |
Take him straight to Mergers and Acquisitions. They'll get along just fine. |
1.4138 |
0.05413 |
145 |
98 |
34 |
13 |
376 |
I can't tell you interns that it gets better. Just different. |
1.4126 |
0.05375 |
143 |
96 |
35 |
12 |
377 |
Book him for conspiracy and temptation. |
1.4126 |
0.05555 |
143 |
98 |
31 |
14 |
378 |
Another eel-mail scandal. |
1.4126 |
0.05465 |
143 |
97 |
33 |
13 |
379 |
Good. The mouse is in Keebler's office, but be warned, he's pretty big. |
1.4126 |
0.05092 |
143 |
93 |
41 |
9 |
380 |
Another creative team-building exercise? |
1.4126 |
0.05375 |
143 |
96 |
35 |
12 |
381 |
I ordered it from Amazon |
1.4126 |
0.05729 |
143 |
100 |
27 |
16 |
382 |
We finally found where the rattle was coming from |
1.4126 |
0.05465 |
143 |
97 |
33 |
13 |
383 |
Have him squeeze the joy of living out of Perkins in Accounting, and then Stevenson in IT if you've still got time. |
1.4126 |
0.05282 |
143 |
95 |
37 |
11 |
384 |
No, no, no,no!" "I said buy Anaconda Copper not a copper anaconda. |
1.4126 |
0.05188 |
143 |
94 |
39 |
10 |
385 |
This is supposed to be a friendly meeting, guys. No need to bring legal counsel. |
1.4126 |
0.05465 |
143 |
97 |
33 |
13 |
386 |
Take Mr. Trump's new campaign manager to the staff room. |
1.4126 |
0.05982 |
143 |
103 |
21 |
19 |
387 |
I don't think this needs to go to HR, but if it's in the break room fridge and nobody's name is on it... fair game. |
1.4126 |
0.05643 |
143 |
99 |
29 |
15 |
388 |
Sorry -- we only hire sharks. |
1.4085 |
0.05579 |
142 |
98 |
30 |
14 |
389 |
Does this mean that the audit is over ? |
1.4077 |
0.05536 |
130 |
87 |
33 |
10 |
390 |
When I told you to bring me the biggest, baddest, forked tongue snake in the grass you could find, I thought you knew I meant a personal injury attorney. |
1.4060 |
0.06135 |
133 |
96 |
20 |
17 |
391 |
No you idiots. A plumber's snake. |
1.4043 |
0.05692 |
141 |
99 |
27 |
15 |
392 |
For Chrissake! I specifically said, 'We're angling for the one percent,' not one serpent! |
1.4043 |
0.05867 |
141 |
101 |
23 |
17 |
393 |
I'll inform the boss that our legal counsel is here. |
1.4043 |
0.05780 |
141 |
100 |
25 |
16 |
394 |
I think his cubicle office was just too constricting. |
1.4043 |
0.05602 |
141 |
98 |
29 |
14 |
395 |
Shouldn't we just call a plumber? |
1.4043 |
0.05511 |
141 |
97 |
31 |
13 |
396 |
That explains the poor attendance at the daycare center. |
1.4043 |
0.05324 |
141 |
95 |
35 |
11 |
397 |
I was told that outside attorneys would not be brought it. |
1.4043 |
0.05692 |
141 |
99 |
27 |
15 |
398 |
When she said Bob showed her his snake, I just assumed it was a euphemism. |
1.4043 |
0.05324 |
141 |
95 |
35 |
11 |
399 |
We love him for the job; he just has to learn to hold his tongue. |
1.4043 |
0.05130 |
141 |
93 |
39 |
9 |
400 |
No, no, no! I said we should have a bigger stake in Textiles! |
1.4043 |
0.05692 |
141 |
99 |
27 |
15 |
401 |
They were all out of therapy dogs. |
1.4043 |
0.05602 |
141 |
98 |
29 |
14 |
402 |
He'll fit in with our work culture just fine. |
1.4043 |
0.05228 |
141 |
94 |
37 |
10 |
403 |
I said to make sure we get a huge "stake" in the deal! |
1.4043 |
0.05602 |
141 |
98 |
29 |
14 |
404 |
That's great. But now the toilet on the THIRD floor isn't working. |
1.4043 |
0.05953 |
141 |
102 |
21 |
18 |
405 |
Legal's down the hall and to the right. |
1.4043 |
0.05419 |
141 |
96 |
33 |
12 |
406 |
The good news is we found that computer virus. |
1.4043 |
0.05602 |
141 |
98 |
29 |
14 |
407 |
Dammit, I've told you interns before: snakes go to Legal, crabs go to Accounting, and it's nothing but monkeys here in Marketing. |
1.4043 |
0.05324 |
141 |
95 |
35 |
11 |
408 |
Idiots! Bring Your Snake to Work Day was yesterday. |
1.4043 |
0.05953 |
141 |
102 |
21 |
18 |
409 |
Just put it over there with the rest of the hedge fund traders. |
1.4029 |
0.05376 |
139 |
94 |
34 |
11 |
410 |
Next time, remove "killer instinct" from the job description. |
1.4029 |
0.05659 |
139 |
97 |
28 |
14 |
411 |
I meant Python, the computer language. |
1.4029 |
0.05929 |
139 |
100 |
22 |
17 |
412 |
When I said buy Anaconda I didn't mean.......... |
1.4029 |
0.05567 |
139 |
96 |
30 |
13 |
413 |
I thought your new Viper was a car. |
1.4029 |
0.05751 |
139 |
98 |
26 |
15 |
414 |
I knew you'd come crawling back here for work. |
1.4029 |
0.05376 |
139 |
94 |
34 |
11 |
415 |
I see on your resume you used to run Fox News? |
1.4029 |
0.05751 |
139 |
98 |
26 |
15 |
416 |
I thought you hired Anna Conda! |
1.4029 |
0.05659 |
139 |
97 |
28 |
14 |
417 |
I'd prefer to interview the other candidate first. |
1.4029 |
0.05472 |
139 |
95 |
32 |
12 |
418 |
Toilet in the executive washroom clogged again? |
1.4000 |
0.05571 |
145 |
102 |
28 |
15 |
419 |
Thanks guys, but I can lick the envelopes on my own. |
1.3986 |
0.05495 |
138 |
95 |
31 |
12 |
420 |
Oh, I see we're staffing up for another hostile takeover. |
1.3986 |
0.05095 |
138 |
91 |
39 |
8 |
421 |
Don't forget to confiscate his security pass and executive lavatory key. |
1.3986 |
0.05299 |
138 |
93 |
35 |
10 |
422 |
Is the takeover getting hostile? |
1.3986 |
0.05495 |
138 |
95 |
31 |
12 |
423 |
So... I see you've found yet another reason to abandon your cubicles. |
1.3986 |
0.05957 |
138 |
100 |
21 |
17 |
424 |
Sorry, HR says no therapy snakes. |
1.3986 |
0.05684 |
138 |
97 |
27 |
14 |
425 |
Have you guys seen Larry? |
1.3986 |
0.05684 |
138 |
97 |
27 |
14 |
426 |
On second thought, I'll just call a plumber. |
1.3986 |
0.05198 |
138 |
92 |
37 |
9 |
427 |
I see you guys met our new corporate lawyer. |
1.3986 |
0.05867 |
138 |
99 |
23 |
16 |
428 |
We're taking legal out to lunch. |
1.3986 |
0.05776 |
138 |
98 |
25 |
15 |
429 |
Good riddance -and let's start looking at those resumes a little more carefully. |
1.3986 |
0.05776 |
138 |
98 |
25 |
15 |
430 |
Yes, well, catch and release him someplace else. |
1.3986 |
0.05495 |
138 |
95 |
31 |
12 |
431 |
It's a better idea than the whale from last week's cartoon; I'll give you that much. |
1.3986 |
0.05957 |
138 |
100 |
21 |
17 |
432 |
Online she said she was slim and curvy. |
1.3986 |
0.05590 |
138 |
96 |
29 |
13 |
433 |
We need to revisit our "Bring Your Pet to Work Day" policy. |
1.3957 |
0.05366 |
139 |
95 |
33 |
11 |
434 |
He seems eager enough. Get him started on hedge funds. |
1.3942 |
0.05614 |
137 |
96 |
28 |
13 |
435 |
Yours is bigger. |
1.3942 |
0.05894 |
137 |
99 |
22 |
16 |
436 |
I'm glad to see you two are finally learning Python. |
1.3942 |
0.05614 |
137 |
96 |
28 |
13 |
437 |
Wow, they really are attempting a hostile takeover! |
1.3942 |
0.05802 |
137 |
98 |
24 |
15 |
438 |
I'll try flushing the toilet again. |
1.3942 |
0.05708 |
137 |
97 |
26 |
14 |
439 |
It alarms me your first solution wasn't a mousetrap. |
1.3923 |
0.05514 |
130 |
89 |
31 |
10 |
440 |
They brought their attorney too. |
1.3913 |
0.05858 |
138 |
100 |
22 |
16 |
441 |
the boss said get her the present from amazon .com not THE AMAZON |
1.3910 |
0.05529 |
133 |
92 |
30 |
11 |
442 |
I think we all owe Paul an apology for blaming the recurring men's restroom issues on him. |
1.3897 |
0.05441 |
136 |
94 |
31 |
11 |
443 |
Open desk in legal? |
1.3897 |
0.05540 |
136 |
95 |
29 |
12 |
444 |
You're going to need more than this doctor's note to get that approved as a service animal. |
1.3897 |
0.05733 |
136 |
97 |
25 |
14 |
445 |
We may need to tone down the job description. |
1.3897 |
0.05540 |
136 |
95 |
29 |
12 |
446 |
No, you are right. Birthday snake does sound a lot like birthday cake. |
1.3897 |
0.05340 |
136 |
93 |
33 |
10 |
447 |
I'm pretty sure he asked for an extra large shake. |
1.3897 |
0.05540 |
136 |
95 |
29 |
12 |
448 |
I'm guessing you couldn't find the plunger. |
1.3897 |
0.05637 |
136 |
96 |
27 |
13 |
449 |
Is that going to Human Resources or Legal? |
1.3897 |
0.05827 |
136 |
98 |
23 |
15 |
450 |
I see you boys found more than a bug in the mainframe. |
1.3897 |
0.05540 |
136 |
95 |
29 |
12 |
451 |
He say's he's the original Apple salesman |
1.3897 |
0.05827 |
136 |
98 |
23 |
15 |
452 |
Have any of you seen my mouse? |
1.3897 |
0.05131 |
136 |
91 |
37 |
8 |
453 |
Stop trying to reinvent the eel. |
1.3881 |
0.05392 |
134 |
92 |
32 |
10 |
454 |
I'm sorry but the company finds your management style too constricting. |
1.3881 |
0.05597 |
134 |
94 |
28 |
12 |
455 |
How did he get past the second interview? |
1.3881 |
0.05392 |
134 |
92 |
32 |
10 |
456 |
He's the new Director of Scales and Aquasitions. |
1.3881 |
0.05597 |
134 |
94 |
28 |
12 |
457 |
now we put our logo on it and release back into the wild |
1.3881 |
0.05495 |
134 |
93 |
30 |
11 |
458 |
Take it to Legal. Should feel more comfortable there. |
1.3881 |
0.05794 |
134 |
96 |
24 |
14 |
459 |
I dont think that's what the plumber meant |
1.3881 |
0.05392 |
134 |
92 |
32 |
10 |
460 |
Let's see how his background check goes before we make any final decisions. |
1.3881 |
0.05071 |
134 |
89 |
38 |
7 |
461 |
The Rat's in his corner office. |
1.3881 |
0.05696 |
134 |
95 |
26 |
13 |
462 |
Are you sure this is how you snake a toilet? |
1.3881 |
0.05890 |
134 |
97 |
22 |
15 |
463 |
I appreciate your thought to save money for the company but I think it is best if we call a plumber to snake the drain. |
1.3881 |
0.05794 |
134 |
96 |
24 |
14 |
464 |
We were told the toilet was clogged and to bring a snake quickly. |
1.3881 |
0.05890 |
134 |
97 |
22 |
15 |
465 |
Can this wait? |
1.3881 |
0.05696 |
134 |
95 |
26 |
13 |
466 |
I asked you where's our stake in this company! |
1.3881 |
0.05794 |
134 |
96 |
24 |
14 |
467 |
Urban myth my ass. |
1.3881 |
0.05392 |
134 |
92 |
32 |
10 |
468 |
But is your idea scalable? |
1.3881 |
0.05071 |
134 |
89 |
38 |
7 |
469 |
We found him buried in the disclosure document. |
1.3881 |
0.05597 |
134 |
94 |
28 |
12 |
470 |
30 years and all I get is a lousy snake? |
1.3881 |
0.05597 |
134 |
94 |
28 |
12 |
471 |
Sorry, we've decided to settle. |
1.3881 |
0.05495 |
134 |
93 |
30 |
11 |
472 |
Leave it beside the corporate ladder. |
1.3881 |
0.05890 |
134 |
97 |
22 |
15 |
473 |
Let Wilson's wife know that he won't be home for dinner. |
1.3881 |
0.05597 |
134 |
94 |
28 |
12 |
474 |
Rats in the board room again? |
1.3881 |
0.05287 |
134 |
91 |
34 |
9 |
475 |
Put him in the corner office and feed him an intern once a day. |
1.3881 |
0.05597 |
134 |
94 |
28 |
12 |
476 |
I thought I said no attorneys. |
1.3881 |
0.05794 |
134 |
96 |
24 |
14 |
477 |
Have Inhuman Resources interview him |
1.3881 |
0.05392 |
134 |
92 |
32 |
10 |
478 |
I know he's difficult, but he gets results. |
1.3881 |
0.05287 |
134 |
91 |
34 |
9 |
479 |
They do this twice a week at Google. |
1.3881 |
0.05794 |
134 |
96 |
24 |
14 |
480 |
I didn't realize you had invited Legal to this meeting. |
1.3881 |
0.05180 |
134 |
90 |
36 |
8 |
481 |
Lawyers' suite down the hall on the left. |
1.3841 |
0.05474 |
138 |
97 |
29 |
12 |
482 |
Legal's on 34. |
1.3835 |
0.05413 |
133 |
92 |
31 |
10 |
483 |
No, what I said was, 'This office needs an electric feel.' |
1.3835 |
0.05517 |
133 |
93 |
29 |
11 |
484 |
Sorry to see you go, Gary. Luckily, your COBRA benefits are pretty sizable. |
1.3835 |
0.05413 |
133 |
92 |
31 |
10 |
485 |
Put him in sales...with the others. |
1.3835 |
0.05517 |
133 |
93 |
29 |
11 |
486 |
There's a rat here in Internal Affairs, and we're going to find him. |
1.3835 |
0.05517 |
133 |
93 |
29 |
11 |
487 |
Mr. Trump replaced our campaign manager again? |
1.3835 |
0.06105 |
133 |
99 |
17 |
17 |
488 |
Life was so much easier when CEOs were warm-blooded creatures who could walk. |
1.3835 |
0.05916 |
133 |
97 |
21 |
15 |
489 |
Place it by the door that says Customer Complaints. |
1.3835 |
0.05517 |
133 |
93 |
29 |
11 |
490 |
I asked you to find me Anne and Rhonda. |
1.3835 |
0.05517 |
133 |
93 |
29 |
11 |
491 |
Why don't you boys work from home tomorrow? |
1.3835 |
0.05517 |
133 |
93 |
29 |
11 |
492 |
I could have sworn that my meeting with legal was tomorrow... |
1.3835 |
0.05307 |
133 |
91 |
33 |
9 |
493 |
I see you have been ordering from Amazon again. |
1.3835 |
0.05720 |
133 |
95 |
25 |
13 |
494 |
Can you also take care of that rat in HR? |
1.3835 |
0.05720 |
133 |
95 |
25 |
13 |
495 |
I see you brought your lawyer. |
1.3806 |
0.05275 |
134 |
92 |
33 |
9 |
496 |
Oh no! Don't tell me we're switching to Python. |
1.3806 |
0.05484 |
134 |
94 |
29 |
11 |
497 |
I need someone who can be a little more hands-on |
1.3788 |
0.05539 |
132 |
93 |
28 |
11 |
498 |
Don't tell me we're doing business with that snake again. |
1.3788 |
0.05539 |
132 |
93 |
28 |
11 |
499 |
Is that the new COBRA specialist from HR? |
1.3788 |
0.05744 |
132 |
95 |
24 |
13 |
500 |
Put him in a cubicle next to the corporate lawyers. |
1.3788 |
0.05105 |
132 |
89 |
36 |
7 |
501 |
He's all right - he's just a little rattled. |
1.3788 |
0.05643 |
132 |
94 |
26 |
12 |
502 |
When I told you to get rid of Fizby, I meant fire him. |
1.3788 |
0.05434 |
132 |
92 |
30 |
10 |
503 |
Our toilet is fixed, boss! |
1.3788 |
0.05434 |
132 |
92 |
30 |
10 |
504 |
Take him to legal - he'll find a rat or two. |
1.3788 |
0.05643 |
132 |
94 |
26 |
12 |
505 |
Not quite the 800-lb gorilla we need, but it will have to do |
1.3788 |
0.05217 |
132 |
90 |
34 |
8 |
506 |
What I said was we need a large 'shake' up to get the company back on track. |
1.3788 |
0.05643 |
132 |
94 |
26 |
12 |
507 |
Drain clogged again? |
1.3788 |
0.05643 |
132 |
94 |
26 |
12 |
508 |
What's the catch? |
1.3788 |
0.05643 |
132 |
94 |
26 |
12 |
509 |
Let HR tell him that he has to pay for COBRA coverage. |
1.3788 |
0.06039 |
132 |
98 |
18 |
16 |
510 |
This definitely isn't what Greg meant when he said "we need a snake for the men's toilet." |
1.3788 |
0.05327 |
132 |
91 |
32 |
9 |
511 |
Maybe it was someone she ate? |
1.3788 |
0.05539 |
132 |
93 |
28 |
11 |
512 |
Just put it in the boardroom with the other directors. |
1.3769 |
0.05489 |
130 |
91 |
29 |
10 |
513 |
No, no! The kind you use in plumbing! |
1.3769 |
0.05597 |
130 |
92 |
27 |
11 |
514 |
It's for the boss from his wife! |
1.3769 |
0.05597 |
130 |
92 |
27 |
11 |
515 |
Put him under Eve's desk. |
1.3769 |
0.05597 |
130 |
92 |
27 |
11 |
516 |
Oh good, you found him! Now we just have to find Miss Petry. |
1.3769 |
0.05908 |
130 |
95 |
21 |
14 |
517 |
When you're done walking him I'm going to need you to let him eat you. |
1.3769 |
0.05806 |
130 |
94 |
23 |
13 |
518 |
Eve's office is down the hall on the right. |
1.3769 |
0.05489 |
130 |
91 |
29 |
10 |
519 |
That will teach you to put the seat down. |
1.3769 |
0.06008 |
130 |
96 |
19 |
15 |
520 |
What's wrong with the boss? |
1.3769 |
0.05908 |
130 |
95 |
21 |
14 |
521 |
His resumé left out one important detail. |
1.3769 |
0.05489 |
130 |
91 |
29 |
10 |
522 |
When I said get me a BOA representative, I was talking about the bank |
1.3769 |
0.05806 |
130 |
94 |
23 |
13 |
523 |
Eve, in HR, said she was expecting him. |
1.3769 |
0.05597 |
130 |
92 |
27 |
11 |
524 |
No, no, no. That is not what I meant when I said snake the toilet in the men's room. |
1.3769 |
0.05597 |
130 |
92 |
27 |
11 |
525 |
You drained the swamp, gentlemen, deal with the consequences. |
1.3769 |
0.05702 |
130 |
93 |
25 |
12 |
526 |
Eve and her attorney are in the large conference room. |
1.3769 |
0.05267 |
130 |
89 |
33 |
8 |
527 |
You can just leave it on Adam's desk. |
1.3769 |
0.05806 |
130 |
94 |
23 |
13 |
528 |
We don't need legal at this meeting. |
1.3759 |
0.05607 |
133 |
95 |
26 |
12 |
529 |
He's been working here how long -- and he still doesn't know his ass from his elbow. |
1.3740 |
0.05666 |
131 |
94 |
25 |
12 |
530 |
So I see you guys figured out the plumbing problem |
1.3721 |
0.05399 |
129 |
90 |
30 |
9 |
531 |
I meant C-O-B-R-A. |
1.3721 |
0.05619 |
129 |
92 |
26 |
11 |
532 |
Legal is just down the hall, to the left. |
1.3721 |
0.05619 |
129 |
92 |
26 |
11 |
533 |
Amazon is located on the third floor. |
1.3721 |
0.05619 |
129 |
92 |
26 |
11 |
534 |
Ah, I see that Trump's new campaign manager has arrived. |
1.3721 |
0.05726 |
129 |
93 |
24 |
12 |
535 |
The downsizing of the Law Department is going as we expected. |
1.3721 |
0.05726 |
129 |
93 |
24 |
12 |
536 |
You've been caught embezzling, Jenkins. It's time to pay the viper. |
1.3721 |
0.05726 |
129 |
93 |
24 |
12 |
537 |
Put him in the conference room with all the other snakes. |
1.3721 |
0.05831 |
129 |
94 |
22 |
13 |
538 |
I said to, "seal the deal" not "steal the eel." |
1.3721 |
0.05619 |
129 |
92 |
26 |
11 |
539 |
Put. It. Back. |
1.3721 |
0.05726 |
129 |
93 |
24 |
12 |
540 |
That isn't the lying snake I was talking about |
1.3721 |
0.05286 |
129 |
89 |
32 |
8 |
541 |
Then again maybe we'll skip the group hug this morning. |
1.3721 |
0.05510 |
129 |
91 |
28 |
10 |
542 |
We've been acquired by Amazon. |
1.3721 |
0.05399 |
129 |
90 |
30 |
9 |
543 |
He prefers a mouse instead of a trackpad. |
1.3721 |
0.05510 |
129 |
91 |
28 |
10 |
544 |
I said I wanted to a large STAKE in the company. |
1.3721 |
0.05831 |
129 |
94 |
22 |
13 |
545 |
"We'll need a replacement for Perkins in accounting". |
1.3721 |
0.05619 |
129 |
92 |
26 |
11 |
546 |
That goes in the moat around the corner office. |
1.3721 |
0.05619 |
129 |
92 |
26 |
11 |
547 |
Going in for the kill on the Patterson deal? |
1.3721 |
0.05399 |
129 |
90 |
30 |
9 |
548 |
When I asked for an adder, I meant a calculator. |
1.3721 |
0.05286 |
129 |
89 |
32 |
8 |
549 |
They're really going to grill him in personnel. |
1.3721 |
0.05619 |
129 |
92 |
26 |
11 |
550 |
Put him in with the lawyers. |
1.3721 |
0.05510 |
129 |
91 |
28 |
10 |
551 |
Is this the last of Ailes' personal belongings? |
1.3721 |
0.05831 |
129 |
94 |
22 |
13 |
552 |
And be sure to add "Problem Solver" to your resumes. |
1.3721 |
0.05619 |
129 |
92 |
26 |
11 |
553 |
It is a long story. |
1.3721 |
0.04930 |
129 |
86 |
38 |
5 |
554 |
Thanks. My meeting with her divorce attorney is in the conference room. |
1.3721 |
0.05399 |
129 |
90 |
30 |
9 |
555 |
Another hissy fit? |
1.3721 |
0.05510 |
129 |
91 |
28 |
10 |
556 |
I understand, but you're supposed to order supplies from Amazon, not *the* Amazon. |
1.3721 |
0.05619 |
129 |
92 |
26 |
11 |
557 |
When I said the new hire needs to be flexible, this is not what I had in mind. |
1.3721 |
0.05170 |
129 |
88 |
34 |
7 |
558 |
I meant we need a lawyer. |
1.3721 |
0.05934 |
129 |
95 |
20 |
14 |
559 |
The exterminator is missing. |
1.3721 |
0.05510 |
129 |
91 |
28 |
10 |
560 |
We’re out of tranquilizer darts; use Billings’s PowerPoint presentation. |
1.3692 |
0.05365 |
130 |
91 |
30 |
9 |
561 |
Sorry Neil, you just didn't have the backbone for the job. |
1.3692 |
0.05475 |
130 |
92 |
28 |
10 |
562 |
Bring your pet to work day may not work out so well for Molly's rat in accounting. |
1.3692 |
0.05253 |
130 |
90 |
32 |
8 |
563 |
Is it casualty Friday already? |
1.3672 |
0.06062 |
128 |
96 |
17 |
15 |
564 |
I see you met our new hire, Anna Conda. Watch out, she's a hugger! |
1.3672 |
0.05532 |
128 |
91 |
27 |
10 |
565 |
No Smedley - memo clearly says we need a big shake up here. |
1.3672 |
0.05305 |
128 |
89 |
31 |
8 |
566 |
I can't wait for this audit to end. |
1.3672 |
0.05419 |
128 |
90 |
29 |
9 |
567 |
He'll need a visitor pass |
1.3672 |
0.05305 |
128 |
89 |
31 |
8 |
568 |
Take him back to his office, and get another attorney to take over his caseload. |
1.3672 |
0.05856 |
128 |
94 |
21 |
13 |
569 |
This is not what I meant when I said we needed a coldblooded negotiator |
1.3672 |
0.05419 |
128 |
90 |
29 |
9 |
570 |
That's a cold blooded response to the no dogs policy. |
1.3672 |
0.05305 |
128 |
89 |
31 |
8 |
571 |
We'll get back to you as things evolve. |
1.3672 |
0.05642 |
128 |
92 |
25 |
11 |
572 |
When I said a toilet needs to be snaked, this isn't what I had in mind. |
1.3672 |
0.05419 |
128 |
90 |
29 |
9 |
573 |
we've never had to handle a problem of this scale before |
1.3672 |
0.05305 |
128 |
89 |
31 |
8 |
574 |
Have you shown the IT guys how you're using Python? |
1.3672 |
0.05856 |
128 |
94 |
21 |
13 |
575 |
We've covered the whole floor but we still can't find Harry in accounting. |
1.3672 |
0.06062 |
128 |
96 |
17 |
15 |
576 |
It says here his name is Monty |
1.3643 |
0.05385 |
129 |
91 |
29 |
9 |
577 |
Good morning. Eve in accounting speaks very highly of you. |
1.3622 |
0.05664 |
127 |
92 |
24 |
11 |
578 |
Let 'em go boys. Apparently creating original sin isn't a crime. |
1.3622 |
0.05881 |
127 |
94 |
20 |
13 |
579 |
This isn't another one of your stupid ice breakers, is it? |
1.3622 |
0.05439 |
127 |
90 |
28 |
9 |
580 |
I completely forgot we had a meeting with our lawyer today. |
1.3622 |
0.05773 |
127 |
93 |
22 |
12 |
581 |
I think it's about time we stopped with Bring Your Pet to Work Day. |
1.3622 |
0.05204 |
127 |
88 |
32 |
7 |
582 |
Put him in Adam and Eve's cubicle. |
1.3622 |
0.05664 |
127 |
92 |
24 |
11 |
583 |
I knew right away he was slippery. |
1.3622 |
0.05083 |
127 |
87 |
34 |
6 |
584 |
The lawyers are in Conference Room B. |
1.3622 |
0.05986 |
127 |
95 |
18 |
14 |
585 |
I assume that's the boss's kid? |
1.3622 |
0.05439 |
127 |
90 |
28 |
9 |
586 |
Morning, Boss. |
1.3622 |
0.05773 |
127 |
93 |
22 |
12 |
587 |
I said the Cobra Insurance Policy... |
1.3622 |
0.05439 |
127 |
90 |
28 |
9 |
588 |
Bring Your Pet To Work Day was last Friday, guys. |
1.3622 |
0.05204 |
127 |
88 |
32 |
7 |
589 |
On your way to express some venom? |
1.3622 |
0.05204 |
127 |
88 |
32 |
7 |
590 |
You guys seen Frank? |
1.3622 |
0.05553 |
127 |
91 |
26 |
10 |
591 |
Finally! A green solution to our rat problem. |
1.3622 |
0.05323 |
127 |
89 |
30 |
8 |
592 |
I see you've met our legal counsel. |
1.3622 |
0.05664 |
127 |
92 |
24 |
11 |
593 |
Put him in the conference room. Maybe that'll shorten our meetings. |
1.3622 |
0.05553 |
127 |
91 |
26 |
10 |
594 |
He's my emotional support python. |
1.3622 |
0.05323 |
127 |
89 |
30 |
8 |
595 |
"Legal" is on the top floor. |
1.3622 |
0.05323 |
127 |
89 |
30 |
8 |
596 |
Legal is on 6. |
1.3622 |
0.05664 |
127 |
92 |
24 |
11 |
597 |
It's okay, she's an emotional support animal. |
1.3615 |
0.05238 |
130 |
91 |
31 |
8 |
598 |
You're gonna need a bigger cubicle. |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
599 |
Now I know why my mouse keeps disappearing. |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
600 |
Allow me to introduce the new manager of corporate drug pricing. |
1.3600 |
0.05611 |
125 |
90 |
25 |
10 |
601 |
Gift it to our Florida office. |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
602 |
Morning, boss. Looking good. |
1.3600 |
0.05611 |
125 |
90 |
25 |
10 |
603 |
You guys must be the new collectors from our predatory lending department. |
1.3600 |
0.05725 |
125 |
91 |
23 |
11 |
604 |
He last worked for Bernie Madoff. |
1.3600 |
0.05611 |
125 |
90 |
25 |
10 |
605 |
You say you got it from Amazon.com? |
1.3600 |
0.05725 |
125 |
91 |
23 |
11 |
606 |
Corporate says having a common enemy in the office will increase productivity. |
1.3600 |
0.05611 |
125 |
90 |
25 |
10 |
607 |
He never warmed up to the job. |
1.3600 |
0.05255 |
125 |
87 |
31 |
7 |
608 |
Put him in Jake's office—his computer has some bugs. |
1.3600 |
0.05611 |
125 |
90 |
25 |
10 |
609 |
We ended up going to Costco. |
1.3600 |
0.05725 |
125 |
91 |
23 |
11 |
610 |
We've got to clean out the stock room more often. |
1.3600 |
0.05725 |
125 |
91 |
23 |
11 |
611 |
Still cleaning out Roger's office? |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
612 |
He's sick of working on the Amazon account |
1.3600 |
0.05946 |
125 |
93 |
19 |
13 |
613 |
Thanks guys for cleaning out the office fridge |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
614 |
Well, that should complete our diversity hiring program. |
1.3600 |
0.05611 |
125 |
90 |
25 |
10 |
615 |
Careful--that's Mr. Trump's next campaign manager. |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
616 |
He was in the copier the whole time. |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
617 |
Keep that thing away from my mouse! |
1.3600 |
0.05611 |
125 |
90 |
25 |
10 |
618 |
The whistleblower is in the last office on the left. |
1.3600 |
0.05611 |
125 |
90 |
25 |
10 |
619 |
The toilet isn't THAT clogged! |
1.3600 |
0.05946 |
125 |
93 |
19 |
13 |
620 |
"Good, now go fix the toilet. |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
621 |
I'm sorry, guys. We're firing your big lazy asp. |
1.3600 |
0.05495 |
125 |
89 |
27 |
9 |
622 |
So this is the best candidate you could find on monster.com? |
1.3600 |
0.05725 |
125 |
91 |
23 |
11 |
623 |
I guess we'll find the mole once and for all now. |
1.3600 |
0.05376 |
125 |
88 |
29 |
8 |
624 |
It would have had legs, but the 3D printer ran out of ink |
1.3600 |
0.05946 |
125 |
93 |
19 |
13 |
625 |
You can't believe a word he says. |
1.3571 |
0.05459 |
126 |
90 |
27 |
9 |
626 |
How did he do in the interview? |
1.3571 |
0.05221 |
126 |
88 |
31 |
7 |
627 |
Take him over to legal with the rest of them. |
1.3571 |
0.05221 |
126 |
88 |
31 |
7 |
628 |
There's too much venom in this workplace already. |
1.3571 |
0.05574 |
126 |
91 |
25 |
10 |
629 |
Sir, we now know why our interns go missing. |
1.3571 |
0.04972 |
126 |
86 |
35 |
5 |
630 |
It was a metaphor. |
1.3571 |
0.05459 |
126 |
90 |
27 |
9 |
631 |
The Legal Department is on the 3rd floor. |
1.3548 |
0.05017 |
124 |
85 |
34 |
5 |
632 |
I knew there'd be a catch! |
1.3548 |
0.05017 |
124 |
85 |
34 |
5 |
633 |
Eve's alibi checks out but Adam's does not. |
1.3548 |
0.05272 |
124 |
87 |
30 |
7 |
634 |
When she kissed him he was supposed to turn into a frog! |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
635 |
Couldn't we just hire a lawyer... |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
636 |
When I said bring me back anything for lunch, I should've been more specific. |
1.3548 |
0.05748 |
124 |
91 |
22 |
11 |
637 |
OK, now all we need is the oil and a salesman. |
1.3548 |
0.05395 |
124 |
88 |
28 |
8 |
638 |
Well Google has one. |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
639 |
Glad to see our legal team is prepared. |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
640 |
Put him in with the other lawyers. |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
641 |
Good move, transferring Larry from PR to Collections. |
1.3548 |
0.05395 |
124 |
88 |
28 |
8 |
642 |
Have him transferred to human resources. |
1.3548 |
0.05748 |
124 |
91 |
22 |
11 |
643 |
Hurry. Mr. Trump is waiting. He's running low on venom. |
1.3548 |
0.05861 |
124 |
92 |
20 |
12 |
644 |
Tell Mr. Trump we already have a penis for the statue. |
1.3548 |
0.06396 |
124 |
97 |
10 |
17 |
645 |
Cake, guys, I said bring back a big cake. |
1.3548 |
0.05633 |
124 |
90 |
24 |
10 |
646 |
When he sobers up, tell him he's fired! |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
647 |
And now, gentlemen, we squeeze the competition. |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
648 |
He's a long-time legend in Apple Marketing. |
1.3548 |
0.05861 |
124 |
92 |
20 |
12 |
649 |
Mr. Trump says he no longer has time for old friends. |
1.3548 |
0.05861 |
124 |
92 |
20 |
12 |
650 |
IT says we have to change our computers to Apples. |
1.3548 |
0.05633 |
124 |
90 |
24 |
10 |
651 |
We're going to allow him to say he resigned. |
1.3548 |
0.05861 |
124 |
92 |
20 |
12 |
652 |
Miller - you old snake! What are you doing here? |
1.3548 |
0.05633 |
124 |
90 |
24 |
10 |
653 |
On second thought, I think you both deserve raises. |
1.3548 |
0.05272 |
124 |
87 |
30 |
7 |
654 |
Scales person was a typo, Jeffrey. |
1.3548 |
0.05146 |
124 |
86 |
32 |
6 |
655 |
So...I guess Marge WAS right about the copier. |
1.3548 |
0.05633 |
124 |
90 |
24 |
10 |
656 |
He'll be perfect for the think thank. |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
657 |
I heard we merged legal and HR. |
1.3548 |
0.06080 |
124 |
94 |
16 |
14 |
658 |
That is one serious computer bug. |
1.3548 |
0.05633 |
124 |
90 |
24 |
10 |
659 |
We're lawyers. You're being redundant. |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
660 |
One more hissy fit and you're outta here! |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
661 |
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a moray! |
1.3548 |
0.05515 |
124 |
89 |
26 |
9 |
662 |
You guys came quick. The mongoose is in the conference room. |
1.3520 |
0.05709 |
125 |
92 |
22 |
11 |
663 |
Wow. These darn computer viruses are getting scarier and scarier. |
1.3520 |
0.05359 |
125 |
89 |
28 |
8 |
664 |
A gift from your wife. |
1.3496 |
0.05654 |
123 |
90 |
23 |
10 |
665 |
I miss 'don't ask, don't tell'. |
1.3496 |
0.05885 |
123 |
92 |
19 |
12 |
666 |
Now I see why most of your decisions were eel advised. |
1.3496 |
0.05654 |
123 |
90 |
23 |
10 |
667 |
Per today's memo, we're going to adopt predatory pricing. |
1.3496 |
0.05413 |
123 |
88 |
27 |
8 |
668 |
You must be the new hire from Amazon. |
1.3496 |
0.05413 |
123 |
88 |
27 |
8 |
669 |
We do not need a totally organic paper shredder. |
1.3496 |
0.05770 |
123 |
91 |
21 |
11 |
670 |
It's Sushi Tuesday. |
1.3496 |
0.05535 |
123 |
89 |
25 |
9 |
671 |
Sushi for lunch again? |
1.3496 |
0.05288 |
123 |
87 |
29 |
7 |
672 |
these computer worms are getting bigger |
1.3496 |
0.05288 |
123 |
87 |
29 |
7 |
673 |
Finally some diversity on 'Bring your pet to work day.' |
1.3496 |
0.05885 |
123 |
92 |
19 |
12 |
674 |
Can you please just send your Amazon deliveries to your home address? |
1.3496 |
0.05770 |
123 |
91 |
21 |
11 |
675 |
Have we finally landed the Slytherin account? |
1.3496 |
0.05535 |
123 |
89 |
25 |
9 |
676 |
Have him lick both the envelope and the stamp. |
1.3496 |
0.05413 |
123 |
88 |
27 |
8 |
677 |
I was thinking more like a talking gecko. |
1.3496 |
0.05413 |
123 |
88 |
27 |
8 |
678 |
Legal Department is down the hall. |
1.3496 |
0.05654 |
123 |
90 |
23 |
10 |
679 |
Cobra insurance and that's not a cobra. |
1.3496 |
0.05654 |
123 |
90 |
23 |
10 |
680 |
On the other hand, he does meet 99% of our criteria for president. |
1.3496 |
0.05654 |
123 |
90 |
23 |
10 |
681 |
I said, 'Order me a large CAKE.' |
1.3496 |
0.05654 |
123 |
90 |
23 |
10 |
682 |
They were out of California Rolls. |
1.3496 |
0.05288 |
123 |
87 |
29 |
7 |
683 |
I didn't know our Legal Department was hiring again. |
1.3496 |
0.05770 |
123 |
91 |
21 |
11 |
684 |
The exterminator's arrived, sir. |
1.3496 |
0.05654 |
123 |
90 |
23 |
10 |
685 |
No, it can't go in the secretarial pool |
1.3496 |
0.05161 |
123 |
86 |
31 |
6 |
686 |
I said pick me up a steak for lunch |
1.3496 |
0.05413 |
123 |
88 |
27 |
8 |
687 |
I see you IT guys found the bug. |
1.3496 |
0.05288 |
123 |
87 |
29 |
7 |
688 |
Adam, that goes in Eve's office. |
1.3496 |
0.05535 |
123 |
89 |
25 |
9 |
689 |
The IRS guy is camped out in Cubicle 23. |
1.3496 |
0.05654 |
123 |
90 |
23 |
10 |
690 |
You're kidding., out of the men's toilet? |
1.3496 |
0.05885 |
123 |
92 |
19 |
12 |
691 |
you said it would be as popular as the Gekko! |
1.3496 |
0.05413 |
123 |
88 |
27 |
8 |
692 |
Yes, you're fired. But you can apply for Cobra. |
1.3496 |
0.05654 |
123 |
90 |
23 |
10 |
693 |
Assign him to the mailroom. He can lick stamps. |
1.3496 |
0.05535 |
123 |
89 |
25 |
9 |
694 |
Nah, I'm good, I brought a sandwich |
1.3471 |
0.05593 |
121 |
88 |
24 |
9 |
695 |
No you morons, I said I wanted a large steak. |
1.3471 |
0.05715 |
121 |
89 |
22 |
10 |
696 |
Right now it's set on "vibrate". We can do "silent" when the meeting starts. |
1.3471 |
0.05715 |
121 |
89 |
22 |
10 |
697 |
Find the printer jam? |
1.3471 |
0.05077 |
121 |
84 |
32 |
5 |
698 |
He will be sitting in Legal. |
1.3471 |
0.05469 |
121 |
87 |
26 |
8 |
699 |
That's great, guys, but it was just a metaphor. |
1.3471 |
0.05593 |
121 |
88 |
24 |
9 |
700 |
Cleaning out the office fridge? |
1.3471 |
0.05593 |
121 |
88 |
24 |
9 |
701 |
Have you seen Jarvis? |
1.3471 |
0.05834 |
121 |
90 |
20 |
11 |
702 |
We talked to legal; it is probably better if you don't know. |
1.3471 |
0.05834 |
121 |
90 |
20 |
11 |
703 |
'Jenkins, two cats and a hamster have gone missing on Bring Your Pet To Work Day. Any thoughts?' |
1.3471 |
0.05077 |
121 |
84 |
32 |
5 |
704 |
We settled the case out of court. Please put the attorney back in his box. |
1.3471 |
0.05834 |
121 |
90 |
20 |
11 |
705 |
This will be great for diversity. |
1.3471 |
0.05341 |
121 |
86 |
28 |
7 |
706 |
Inhuman Resources is upstairs. |
1.3471 |
0.05715 |
121 |
89 |
22 |
10 |
707 |
So, that's why Bill missed the meeting. |
1.3471 |
0.05341 |
121 |
86 |
28 |
7 |
708 |
Bring him into the conference room for exit interviews. |
1.3471 |
0.05951 |
121 |
91 |
18 |
12 |
709 |
That wasn't what I meant by diversity. |
1.3471 |
0.05469 |
121 |
87 |
26 |
8 |
710 |
Sorry 'bout the typo, guys. Memo should have read, 'Order big, healthy SNACK for staff meeting.' |
1.3471 |
0.05834 |
121 |
90 |
20 |
11 |
711 |
Put it in Ted's office with the others. |
1.3471 |
0.05469 |
121 |
87 |
26 |
8 |
712 |
You were right. There WAS something fishy in accounting! |
1.3471 |
0.05211 |
121 |
85 |
30 |
6 |
713 |
You guys going out for a bite? |
1.3443 |
0.06243 |
122 |
95 |
12 |
15 |
714 |
Says right here on the invite: "Gag gifts only." |
1.3443 |
0.05175 |
122 |
86 |
30 |
6 |
715 |
I said a big shake you idiots. |
1.3443 |
0.05793 |
122 |
91 |
20 |
11 |
716 |
Pretty sure COBRA insurance doesn't cover that. |
1.3443 |
0.05043 |
122 |
85 |
32 |
5 |
717 |
I said to bring me a "bid on a condo". Damn autocorrect. |
1.3443 |
0.05909 |
122 |
92 |
18 |
12 |
718 |
Ah, another visitor from Corporate |
1.3443 |
0.05431 |
122 |
88 |
26 |
8 |
719 |
I said ‘a nice big steak’. |
1.3443 |
0.05675 |
122 |
90 |
22 |
10 |
720 |
So that's what the rattling noise in the air conditioning was. |
1.3443 |
0.05175 |
122 |
86 |
30 |
6 |
721 |
Get him under the heat lamp before his 3:30. |
1.3443 |
0.04907 |
122 |
84 |
34 |
4 |
722 |
It says stakeholders. |
1.3443 |
0.05793 |
122 |
91 |
20 |
11 |
723 |
If this doesn't get him to sign the contract, then nothing will. |
1.3443 |
0.05675 |
122 |
90 |
22 |
10 |
724 |
I said come back with a big deal, not eel. |
1.3443 |
0.05675 |
122 |
90 |
22 |
10 |
725 |
Sorry guys, the boss is now thinking cuddly. |
1.3417 |
0.05736 |
120 |
89 |
21 |
10 |
726 |
Ah, this must be the new head of litigation. |
1.3417 |
0.05976 |
120 |
91 |
17 |
12 |
727 |
This company needs to shed its old skin if we want the business to achieve greater scale. |
1.3417 |
0.05090 |
120 |
84 |
31 |
5 |
728 |
HR has some issues with your vetting process. |
1.3417 |
0.05358 |
120 |
86 |
27 |
7 |
729 |
No, no, NO! I asked you to bring me a large SHAKE for lunch!! |
1.3417 |
0.05736 |
120 |
89 |
21 |
10 |
730 |
Have you seen Jenkins around? |
1.3417 |
0.05358 |
120 |
86 |
27 |
7 |
731 |
Really? You have to ask? Any bathroom he/she wants, okay? |
1.3417 |
0.05736 |
120 |
89 |
21 |
10 |
732 |
We used to give a gold watch. |
1.3417 |
0.05225 |
120 |
85 |
29 |
6 |
733 |
Hey guys! Great job getting the worm out of our IT system. |
1.3417 |
0.05857 |
120 |
90 |
19 |
11 |
734 |
I'm not sure Brazil will believe we extradited the right swimmer... |
1.3417 |
0.05857 |
120 |
90 |
19 |
11 |
735 |
No, No! It's a long feathery scarf for strippers! |
1.3417 |
0.05976 |
120 |
91 |
17 |
12 |
736 |
On second thought, let's just dazzle them with our brilliance. |
1.3417 |
0.05225 |
120 |
85 |
29 |
6 |
737 |
I asked for Anna Conda - the accountant! |
1.3417 |
0.05613 |
120 |
88 |
23 |
9 |
738 |
We'll find the elephant in the room, next. |
1.3417 |
0.05857 |
120 |
90 |
19 |
11 |
739 |
You can take it back, I'm licking the envelope myself. |
1.3417 |
0.05613 |
120 |
88 |
23 |
9 |
740 |
I'm pretty sure the office-party memo said to bring your own SNACKS... |
1.3417 |
0.05358 |
120 |
86 |
27 |
7 |
741 |
That explains all the hissing at the board meeting. |
1.3417 |
0.05613 |
120 |
88 |
23 |
9 |
742 |
We caught him hissing up to senior management. |
1.3417 |
0.05613 |
120 |
88 |
23 |
9 |
743 |
I see legal is moving offices again... |
1.3417 |
0.05358 |
120 |
86 |
27 |
7 |
744 |
No I said 'Civil servant!' Not 'Serpent!' |
1.3417 |
0.05487 |
120 |
87 |
25 |
8 |
745 |
I'll just go ahead and order a new mouse. |
1.3417 |
0.05090 |
120 |
84 |
31 |
5 |
746 |
Is it Anaconda Wednesday already? |
1.3417 |
0.05225 |
120 |
85 |
29 |
6 |
747 |
I said please bring me a snack. |
1.3417 |
0.05225 |
120 |
85 |
29 |
6 |
748 |
I told you Johnson was a snake. Now get rid of him. |
1.3417 |
0.05736 |
120 |
89 |
21 |
10 |
749 |
This is exactly why I distrust teams. |
1.3417 |
0.05358 |
120 |
86 |
27 |
7 |
750 |
"Wolf" of Wall Street was trademarked. |
1.3417 |
0.05736 |
120 |
89 |
21 |
10 |
751 |
We have a Cobra Plan but that's not it! |
1.3417 |
0.05736 |
120 |
89 |
21 |
10 |
752 |
Good, right in time for the peer reviews. |
1.3388 |
0.05321 |
121 |
87 |
27 |
7 |
753 |
Hey. The snake is out. They want a giant duck. |
1.3388 |
0.05055 |
121 |
85 |
31 |
5 |
754 |
Any sign of the apple? |
1.3388 |
0.05321 |
121 |
87 |
27 |
7 |
755 |
Excellent! You can dump the old CEO in the Everglades. |
1.3388 |
0.05449 |
121 |
88 |
25 |
8 |
756 |
We'll need plenty of wiggle room on this issue. |
1.3388 |
0.05321 |
121 |
87 |
27 |
7 |
757 |
Is that the new head of Legal? |
1.3388 |
0.05574 |
121 |
89 |
23 |
9 |
758 |
But is it scalable? |
1.3388 |
0.05574 |
121 |
89 |
23 |
9 |
759 |
Put him on the Trump account, I hear he's looking for a new campaign manager. |
1.3388 |
0.05933 |
121 |
92 |
17 |
12 |
760 |
Thanks boys. He goes to the Hostile Takeover department. |
1.3388 |
0.05321 |
121 |
87 |
27 |
7 |
761 |
There's no such thing as 'Bring Your Snake to Work Day'! |
1.3361 |
0.05505 |
119 |
87 |
24 |
8 |
762 |
The pipes are all clear. You can go in now. |
1.3361 |
0.06000 |
119 |
91 |
16 |
12 |
763 |
I always said this office needed fewer snakes and more sharks. |
1.3361 |
0.05505 |
119 |
87 |
24 |
8 |
764 |
Is this the new lawyer? |
1.3361 |
0.06000 |
119 |
91 |
16 |
12 |
765 |
No need to be vile. After all, I am a civil serpent. |
1.3361 |
0.06118 |
119 |
92 |
14 |
13 |
766 |
New guy in Legal? |
1.3361 |
0.05505 |
119 |
87 |
24 |
8 |
767 |
Sushi for a year. It’s part of your severance package. |
1.3361 |
0.05758 |
119 |
89 |
20 |
10 |
768 |
I told HR we needed a cold blooded killer in sales. |
1.3361 |
0.05240 |
119 |
85 |
28 |
6 |
769 |
If you should accidentally drop it from the roof, put me down for boots and a matching belt. |
1.3361 |
0.05880 |
119 |
90 |
18 |
11 |
770 |
I think it's time we go back to mousetraps. |
1.3361 |
0.05633 |
119 |
88 |
22 |
9 |
771 |
Thank goodness you're here! Our bathroom sink has been clogged for a week! |
1.3361 |
0.05102 |
119 |
84 |
30 |
5 |
772 |
We're going to need a bigger mouse. |
1.3361 |
0.06118 |
119 |
92 |
14 |
13 |
773 |
The boss says its forked tongue is perfect for customer service. |
1.3361 |
0.05505 |
119 |
87 |
24 |
8 |
774 |
I'm beginning to think the "Thank You" card that came with might not be sincere. |
1.3361 |
0.05758 |
119 |
89 |
20 |
10 |
775 |
No thanks. I brought a sack lunch. |
1.3361 |
0.06000 |
119 |
91 |
16 |
12 |
776 |
It's weighty yes, but Frank says the story has no legs. |
1.3361 |
0.05240 |
119 |
85 |
28 |
6 |
777 |
Make sure you take it to a gender neutral bathroom. |
1.3361 |
0.05633 |
119 |
88 |
22 |
9 |
778 |
Says here that the boss wanted a burger and a SHAKE ... |
1.3361 |
0.05880 |
119 |
90 |
18 |
11 |
779 |
Nabbed him in the lobby atrium, by the apple tree. |
1.3361 |
0.05880 |
119 |
90 |
18 |
11 |
780 |
The corner office, of course. |
1.3361 |
0.05758 |
119 |
89 |
20 |
10 |
781 |
Have either of you seen Florence from accounting? |
1.3361 |
0.05240 |
119 |
85 |
28 |
6 |
782 |
I'm not sure if the discount sushi is worth the savings. |
1.3333 |
0.05429 |
117 |
85 |
25 |
7 |
783 |
The birthday piñata's are getting weirder with each office party. |
1.3333 |
0.05822 |
117 |
88 |
19 |
10 |
784 |
I don't think that's what the boss meant when he told us to scale up the project. |
1.3333 |
0.05005 |
117 |
82 |
31 |
4 |
785 |
We need to scale back around here. |
1.3333 |
0.05563 |
117 |
86 |
23 |
8 |
786 |
Now who did he swallow? |
1.3333 |
0.05822 |
117 |
88 |
19 |
10 |
787 |
Excellent. Our marketing research shows that the American public will buy all of the snake oil we can produce. |
1.3333 |
0.05822 |
117 |
88 |
19 |
10 |
788 |
Bring your pet to work day is getting out of hand. |
1.3333 |
0.05336 |
120 |
87 |
26 |
7 |
789 |
It was out on the ledge, it's a vindow viper. |
1.3333 |
0.05822 |
117 |
88 |
19 |
10 |
790 |
Our numbers show we're down 98% in customer service complaints since Phil here joined the team |
1.3333 |
0.05067 |
120 |
85 |
30 |
5 |
791 |
Absolutely not! Who do you suppose will have to feed and walk him after you get tired of him? |
1.3333 |
0.05291 |
117 |
84 |
27 |
6 |
792 |
Herbert,you gotta read the whole email. |
1.3333 |
0.05291 |
117 |
84 |
27 |
6 |
793 |
it's too soon to bring in legal! |
1.3333 |
0.05291 |
117 |
84 |
27 |
6 |
794 |
Just put it with the bigger one. |
1.3333 |
0.05563 |
117 |
86 |
23 |
8 |
795 |
Bring him down to the legal department with the rest of them. |
1.3333 |
0.05694 |
117 |
87 |
21 |
9 |
796 |
Big snack, I said I was in the mood for a big snack. |
1.3333 |
0.05694 |
117 |
87 |
21 |
9 |
797 |
I don't know what's a paradigm either, but I'm pretty sure it's something else. |
1.3333 |
0.05694 |
117 |
87 |
21 |
9 |
798 |
I knew we shouldn't have adopted a don't asp don't tell policy. |
1.3333 |
0.05466 |
120 |
88 |
24 |
8 |
799 |
Pay him scale. |
1.3333 |
0.04542 |
117 |
79 |
37 |
1 |
800 |
Why does it always have to be about Eve?! |
1.3333 |
0.05822 |
117 |
88 |
19 |
10 |
801 |
They say he's a killer litigator. |
1.3333 |
0.05563 |
117 |
86 |
23 |
8 |
802 |
"Sorry fellas, they just announced today is actually 'Take Your Pet and Go Home Day.' |
1.3333 |
0.06070 |
117 |
90 |
15 |
12 |
803 |
I think the boss wanted giant STEAKS. |
1.3333 |
0.05947 |
117 |
89 |
17 |
11 |
804 |
No, close, but that's not the one we're looking for. |
1.3333 |
0.05429 |
117 |
85 |
25 |
7 |
805 |
So this is the new campaign manager. |
1.3333 |
0.05947 |
117 |
89 |
17 |
11 |
806 |
Stow him under the anchor desk. We'll show a more human side of Dan Rather tonight. |
1.3333 |
0.05947 |
117 |
89 |
17 |
11 |
807 |
Last week it was a whistle blower; this week it's a snake in the grass. |
1.3333 |
0.05563 |
117 |
86 |
23 |
8 |
808 |
Revenue, Brian. Scaling was the 2015 goal. |
1.3333 |
0.05717 |
120 |
90 |
20 |
10 |
809 |
I said it was ok to offer constructive criticism, not constrictive. |
1.3333 |
0.05150 |
117 |
83 |
29 |
5 |
810 |
The new sushi place may be cheap but.... |
1.3333 |
0.05717 |
120 |
90 |
20 |
10 |
811 |
You must be the new campaign manager. Welcome to the Trump campaign. |
1.3333 |
0.05838 |
120 |
91 |
18 |
11 |
812 |
Just leave it coiled under my boss's desk. |
1.3333 |
0.05947 |
117 |
89 |
17 |
11 |
813 |
Take your serpent to work day is tomorrow. |
1.3333 |
0.05466 |
120 |
88 |
24 |
8 |
814 |
The trans-reptile restroom is occupied. |
1.3333 |
0.06190 |
117 |
91 |
13 |
13 |
815 |
Not quite what I expected for my retirement gift. |
1.3333 |
0.05694 |
117 |
87 |
21 |
9 |
816 |
Just let it slither back under the MBA program it came from. |
1.3333 |
0.05563 |
117 |
86 |
23 |
8 |
817 |
Maybe 'Bring Your Snake or Daughter to Work' Day should be two different days. |
1.3333 |
0.05694 |
117 |
87 |
21 |
9 |
818 |
I said red tiles, not reptiles. |
1.3333 |
0.05822 |
117 |
88 |
19 |
10 |
819 |
Into the boardroom. We're doing salary negotiations. |
1.3333 |
0.05838 |
120 |
91 |
18 |
11 |
820 |
Just what this company needs, another cold-blooded snake. |
1.3333 |
0.06070 |
117 |
90 |
15 |
12 |
821 |
Legal is through the second door on the right. |
1.3333 |
0.05717 |
120 |
90 |
20 |
10 |
822 |
Remember when being a pet-friendly workplace was a good recruiting tool? |
1.3305 |
0.04971 |
118 |
83 |
31 |
4 |
823 |
Just put it in the corner, by the other one. |
1.3305 |
0.05779 |
118 |
89 |
19 |
10 |
824 |
When I said bring me the snake in the grass I was talking about Johnson on the 2nd floor! |
1.3305 |
0.05523 |
118 |
87 |
23 |
8 |
825 |
Take it back; it belongs in next week's contest. |
1.3305 |
0.06025 |
118 |
91 |
15 |
12 |
826 |
No, I said that I would treat you guys to a shake. |
1.3305 |
0.05114 |
118 |
84 |
29 |
5 |
827 |
Give him a desk in mortgage foreclosures. |
1.3305 |
0.05390 |
118 |
86 |
25 |
7 |
828 |
Pete could really use a sick day. |
1.3305 |
0.05390 |
118 |
86 |
25 |
7 |
829 |
Toilet's clogged again? |
1.3276 |
0.05714 |
116 |
87 |
20 |
9 |
830 |
Sorry, we already have a campaign spokesperson. |
1.3276 |
0.05714 |
116 |
87 |
20 |
9 |
831 |
Why didn't you just call a plumber? |
1.3276 |
0.05844 |
116 |
88 |
18 |
10 |
832 |
We're bringing on ANOTHER lawyer? |
1.3276 |
0.05714 |
116 |
87 |
20 |
9 |
833 |
Yes, I'm sure he said he likes big asps |
1.3276 |
0.05445 |
116 |
85 |
24 |
7 |
834 |
At the very least you're going to have trust issues. |
1.3276 |
0.05714 |
116 |
87 |
20 |
9 |
835 |
We need to rewrite the job description. |
1.3276 |
0.05581 |
116 |
86 |
22 |
8 |
836 |
I guess we should have set his computer up with a trackpad, not a mouse. |
1.3276 |
0.05581 |
116 |
86 |
22 |
8 |
837 |
The boss wanted a big deal not a big eel. |
1.3276 |
0.05162 |
116 |
83 |
28 |
5 |
838 |
So that's how they plan to squeeze out more profit! |
1.3276 |
0.05714 |
116 |
87 |
20 |
9 |
839 |
Oh, no.... I meant Ana Conda......in Accounting!!!! |
1.3276 |
0.05581 |
116 |
86 |
22 |
8 |
840 |
The rest of the board is in the conference room already. |
1.3276 |
0.05306 |
116 |
84 |
26 |
6 |
841 |
we needed someone who speaks with a forked tongue |
1.3276 |
0.05581 |
116 |
86 |
22 |
8 |
842 |
"Mr. Trump said he wanted to "convict her", not a "constrictor". |
1.3276 |
0.05306 |
116 |
84 |
26 |
6 |
843 |
Enough is enough! I have had it with these Motherf...ing snakes in this Motherf...ing office |
1.3276 |
0.05970 |
116 |
89 |
16 |
11 |
844 |
Oh good, the auditor is here. |
1.3276 |
0.05714 |
116 |
87 |
20 |
9 |
845 |
Take him to "Sales." |
1.3276 |
0.05970 |
116 |
89 |
16 |
11 |
846 |
Next time, I will just call a plumber. |
1.3276 |
0.05162 |
116 |
83 |
28 |
5 |
847 |
He's got a reputation for being cold-blooded. |
1.3276 |
0.05162 |
116 |
83 |
28 |
5 |
848 |
Have you seen the office cat? |
1.3276 |
0.05445 |
116 |
85 |
24 |
7 |
849 |
I have the pink slips. We're ready. |
1.3276 |
0.05445 |
116 |
85 |
24 |
7 |
850 |
You must be the legal team. |
1.3276 |
0.05445 |
116 |
85 |
24 |
7 |
851 |
You're taking the boss out to lunch? |
1.3276 |
0.05306 |
116 |
84 |
26 |
6 |
852 |
I think maybe we could start him in sales. |
1.3276 |
0.05714 |
116 |
87 |
20 |
9 |
853 |
Caught another auditor. |
1.3276 |
0.05581 |
116 |
86 |
22 |
8 |
854 |
We're obligated to give you cobra with your severance. |
1.3276 |
0.05970 |
116 |
89 |
16 |
11 |
855 |
O'Donnell in accounting is next for "early retirement." |
1.3276 |
0.05445 |
116 |
85 |
24 |
7 |
856 |
Another motivational sales meeting,I presume. |
1.3276 |
0.05714 |
116 |
87 |
20 |
9 |
857 |
Oooh, I see the judge for the New Yorker Caption Contest has decided to stop by. |
1.3276 |
0.05844 |
116 |
88 |
18 |
10 |
858 |
Okay guys, you snake oil salesmen still have to comply with the dress code. |
1.3276 |
0.05162 |
116 |
83 |
28 |
5 |
859 |
Hiring had something slightly different in mind when they asked whether you knew python . |
1.3276 |
0.05445 |
116 |
85 |
24 |
7 |
860 |
Not my problem; I’m Human Resources. |
1.3276 |
0.05445 |
116 |
85 |
24 |
7 |
861 |
Hello Mr. Trump |
1.3248 |
0.05800 |
117 |
89 |
18 |
10 |
862 |
I'm not sure the new mascot is consistent with our branding. |
1.3248 |
0.05406 |
117 |
86 |
24 |
7 |
863 |
You can tell it's an election year. - forked tounges everywhere. |
1.3248 |
0.05406 |
117 |
86 |
24 |
7 |
864 |
We're being audited. |
1.3248 |
0.05672 |
117 |
88 |
20 |
9 |
865 |
Try the hostile take-over meeting in 102. |
1.3248 |
0.05268 |
117 |
85 |
26 |
6 |
866 |
Well, well, well… I see the two of you are still trying to beat the rat race. |
1.3248 |
0.05672 |
117 |
88 |
20 |
9 |
867 |
The IRS guy is in room 12. |
1.3248 |
0.05540 |
117 |
87 |
22 |
8 |
868 |
Legal is down the hall on the right. |
1.3248 |
0.05540 |
117 |
87 |
22 |
8 |
869 |
Danny caught this while fishing in the stream outside the old nuclear plant. |
1.3248 |
0.05672 |
117 |
88 |
20 |
9 |
870 |
Yes it's big, but does it have legs? |
1.3248 |
0.06049 |
117 |
91 |
14 |
12 |
871 |
Looks like he needs a pit to hiss in. |
1.3220 |
0.05230 |
118 |
86 |
26 |
6 |
872 |
I see you've met out downsizing consultant. |
1.3220 |
0.05757 |
118 |
90 |
18 |
10 |
873 |
Research has shown that a pet in the work place increases productivity. |
1.3217 |
0.05865 |
115 |
88 |
17 |
10 |
874 |
You got it from Amazon primal? |
1.3217 |
0.05461 |
115 |
85 |
23 |
7 |
875 |
I warned you about his huge hissy fits. |
1.3217 |
0.05461 |
115 |
85 |
23 |
7 |
876 |
It's time to talk about the elephant in the room. |
1.3217 |
0.05319 |
115 |
84 |
25 |
6 |
877 |
Meet the new head of HR. |
1.3217 |
0.05024 |
115 |
82 |
29 |
4 |
878 |
Yeah, it's just another hissing fit . . . we've got it under control. |
1.3217 |
0.05733 |
115 |
87 |
19 |
9 |
879 |
Put him in the back room with the other lawyers. |
1.3217 |
0.05865 |
115 |
88 |
17 |
10 |
880 |
Pokemon Go has really upped its game. |
1.3217 |
0.05865 |
115 |
88 |
17 |
10 |
881 |
Check Dawson's desk, I think I recognize the suspenders. |
1.3217 |
0.05994 |
115 |
89 |
15 |
11 |
882 |
Sit him down at that desk over there, keep him away from my mouse. |
1.3217 |
0.05599 |
115 |
86 |
21 |
8 |
883 |
I am not comfortable with HR's passive-aggressive approach to mandatory retirement. |
1.3217 |
0.05319 |
115 |
84 |
25 |
6 |
884 |
Glad to see you boys helping Johnson unwind. |
1.3217 |
0.04870 |
115 |
81 |
31 |
3 |
885 |
That reminds me. I have an appointment with legal in an hour. |
1.3217 |
0.05865 |
115 |
88 |
17 |
10 |
886 |
Get some coffee in him fast, his acceptance speech is in 5 minutes!! |
1.3217 |
0.05174 |
115 |
83 |
27 |
5 |
887 |
Just for fun, throw it in the typing pool |
1.3217 |
0.05461 |
115 |
85 |
23 |
7 |
888 |
Throw him in the back with the others. |
1.3217 |
0.05733 |
115 |
87 |
19 |
9 |
889 |
Now that we don't have to lick stamps anymore, I think you can just let old Ethel go, into the woods out back. |
1.3217 |
0.05461 |
115 |
85 |
23 |
7 |
890 |
He'll fit in with our legal department. |
1.3217 |
0.05461 |
115 |
85 |
23 |
7 |
891 |
I meant a plumber with a big snake |
1.3217 |
0.05599 |
115 |
86 |
21 |
8 |
892 |
Tempura...sushi...spicy tuna roll...who ordered the eel? |
1.3217 |
0.05599 |
115 |
86 |
21 |
8 |
893 |
Steve just acquired another one of our competitors. |
1.3217 |
0.05599 |
115 |
86 |
21 |
8 |
894 |
This is why we have a no pet policy. |
1.3217 |
0.05599 |
115 |
86 |
21 |
8 |
895 |
Just got promoted. He is the brains behind the EpiPen price hike. |
1.3217 |
0.05994 |
115 |
89 |
15 |
11 |
896 |
Tell the boss her lawyer's here. |
1.3217 |
0.05174 |
115 |
83 |
27 |
5 |
897 |
Christ Roberts I said get a large cake |
1.3217 |
0.05733 |
115 |
87 |
19 |
9 |
898 |
I guess that explains what happened to Arlene's comfort poodle. |
1.3217 |
0.05599 |
115 |
86 |
21 |
8 |
899 |
Bring it straight to the negotiating room. |
1.3217 |
0.05319 |
115 |
84 |
25 |
6 |
900 |
You dimwits! I wanted a big SHAKE. |
1.3190 |
0.05421 |
116 |
86 |
23 |
7 |
901 |
Only three more days until the new hole punch arrives |
1.3190 |
0.05821 |
116 |
89 |
17 |
10 |
902 |
"I suddenly regret creating "Bring your pet to work" day. |
1.3190 |
0.05821 |
116 |
89 |
17 |
10 |
903 |
No, I said, 'an accountant'. |
1.3186 |
0.05797 |
113 |
86 |
18 |
9 |
904 |
We found the spineless slitherer who's been spewing venom about us on sssocial media. |
1.3186 |
0.05518 |
113 |
84 |
22 |
7 |
905 |
No, it's a meeting for the company's largest stakeholders! |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
906 |
Glad to see a two-pronged approach on the account. |
1.3186 |
0.05223 |
113 |
82 |
26 |
5 |
907 |
New attorneys' offices down the hall. |
1.3186 |
0.05223 |
113 |
82 |
26 |
5 |
908 |
On top one day, escorted out the next. |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
909 |
He says he's got backbone, but I just don't see it. |
1.3186 |
0.05070 |
113 |
81 |
28 |
4 |
910 |
Didn't I ask for a large shake? |
1.3186 |
0.05373 |
113 |
83 |
24 |
6 |
911 |
I see we have another Senator on the payroll. |
1.3186 |
0.05797 |
113 |
86 |
18 |
9 |
912 |
This is Wallstreet, only two-legged, cold blooded creatures allowed here! |
1.3186 |
0.04912 |
113 |
80 |
30 |
3 |
913 |
Please show the new CEO to his office. |
1.3186 |
0.05373 |
113 |
83 |
24 |
6 |
914 |
Another escapee from Trump Tower? |
1.3186 |
0.06063 |
113 |
88 |
14 |
11 |
915 |
Legal department is downstairs. |
1.3186 |
0.05518 |
113 |
84 |
22 |
7 |
916 |
Well let's say when I heard the new head of marketing was a snake, I assumed it was a manner of speech. |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
917 |
Legal is on Floor 9. |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
918 |
Tell him he starts today but,keep him away from the desk where the rabbit is working! |
1.3186 |
0.05373 |
113 |
83 |
24 |
6 |
919 |
You must be the transfers from our Everglades office. |
1.3186 |
0.04912 |
113 |
80 |
30 |
3 |
920 |
Just park it in the boardroom, next to the corporate ladder. |
1.3186 |
0.05518 |
113 |
84 |
22 |
7 |
921 |
Umm, I meant python the programming language! |
1.3186 |
0.05518 |
113 |
84 |
22 |
7 |
922 |
I see you've met my Emotional Support Serpent. |
1.3186 |
0.05797 |
113 |
86 |
18 |
9 |
923 |
I see we'll need to fine tune the "Bring Your Pet to Work Day" guidelines yet again, gentlemen. |
1.3186 |
0.05223 |
113 |
82 |
26 |
5 |
924 |
Oh thank god, so the copier is fixed? |
1.3186 |
0.05797 |
113 |
86 |
18 |
9 |
925 |
Good, and after he licks the envelopes, get an elephant for stamping. |
1.3186 |
0.05070 |
113 |
81 |
28 |
4 |
926 |
There may be some lingering resentment. |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
927 |
Perhaps we'd better let the plumber snake the toilet? |
1.3186 |
0.05518 |
113 |
84 |
22 |
7 |
928 |
It creeps me out when Larry orders the Unagi Supreme. |
1.3186 |
0.05223 |
113 |
82 |
26 |
5 |
929 |
I hope you're not bringing that on the plane! |
1.3186 |
0.05932 |
113 |
87 |
16 |
10 |
930 |
Oh, great, the new HR Manager has finally arrived. |
1.3186 |
0.05518 |
113 |
84 |
22 |
7 |
931 |
His credentials were too good to pass up |
1.3186 |
0.05373 |
113 |
83 |
24 |
6 |
932 |
But is it kosher? |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
933 |
The new hire in Legal? |
1.3186 |
0.05518 |
113 |
84 |
22 |
7 |
934 |
The anger management seminar is in Conference Room B. |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
935 |
Boss changed her mind, she's going with the, "Elephant in the weeds" instead. |
1.3186 |
0.05070 |
113 |
81 |
28 |
4 |
936 |
Shake Up fellas...I said we needed a Shake Up. |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
937 |
I meant install Python, the coding programme! |
1.3186 |
0.05932 |
113 |
87 |
16 |
10 |
938 |
Perhaps we should temporarily suspend our child care program. |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
939 |
This is our third C.E.O. this year. |
1.3186 |
0.05659 |
113 |
85 |
20 |
8 |
940 |
This isn't what I had in mind when I told you to learn Python. |
1.3186 |
0.05518 |
113 |
84 |
22 |
7 |
941 |
He will fit in well with our legal team |
1.3186 |
0.05373 |
113 |
83 |
24 |
6 |
942 |
It filed a harassment suit. HR says it stays. |
1.3186 |
0.05070 |
113 |
81 |
28 |
4 |
943 |
Take her home. We caught the company mole. |
1.3186 |
0.05223 |
113 |
82 |
26 |
5 |
944 |
He's the new expert on long positions. |
1.3186 |
0.05373 |
113 |
83 |
24 |
6 |
945 |
Looks like the recruiters have been casting a wider net lately. |
1.3186 |
0.05373 |
113 |
83 |
24 |
6 |
946 |
We should run this past legal. |
1.3186 |
0.05373 |
113 |
83 |
24 |
6 |
947 |
I hope you didn't forget my fries. |
1.3186 |
0.05797 |
113 |
86 |
18 |
9 |
948 |
Same price as the foot long? |
1.3158 |
0.05033 |
114 |
82 |
28 |
4 |
949 |
Downsizing again? |
1.3143 |
0.05296 |
105 |
76 |
25 |
4 |
950 |
It doesn't meet criteria for a therapy pet. |
1.3125 |
0.05677 |
112 |
85 |
19 |
8 |
951 |
So, I'm guessing Hodges hasn't agreed to taking early retirement yet. |
1.3125 |
0.05677 |
112 |
85 |
19 |
8 |
952 |
Put him in conference room D with the bankers. |
1.3125 |
0.05677 |
112 |
85 |
19 |
8 |
953 |
I recommended against his campaigning in his true form, but he insists on doing everything HIS way. |
1.3125 |
0.04917 |
112 |
80 |
29 |
3 |
954 |
We should let IT hire the Python developer next time. |
1.3125 |
0.05953 |
112 |
87 |
15 |
10 |
955 |
Let's set it loose in HR first and legal after. |
1.3125 |
0.05078 |
112 |
81 |
27 |
4 |
956 |
No, I would NOT like to join your Anna Conga line |
1.3125 |
0.05533 |
112 |
84 |
21 |
7 |
957 |
Ummmm....I meant for the clogged sink. |
1.3125 |
0.05234 |
112 |
82 |
25 |
5 |
958 |
He's from Legal....he got lost, |
1.3125 |
0.05386 |
112 |
83 |
23 |
6 |
959 |
Now we can show them exactly where we get the oil. |
1.3125 |
0.05234 |
112 |
82 |
25 |
5 |
960 |
Probably should have checked references first. |
1.3125 |
0.05078 |
112 |
81 |
27 |
4 |
961 |
You say you've made progress in locating the computer worm? |
1.3125 |
0.05953 |
112 |
87 |
15 |
10 |
962 |
Isn't that rather harsh treatment for the guy who wrote "less people" instead of "fewer people?" |
1.3125 |
0.05533 |
112 |
84 |
21 |
7 |
963 |
Cleanup at the Clinton foundation. |
1.3125 |
0.05533 |
112 |
84 |
21 |
7 |
964 |
New house counsel? |
1.3125 |
0.05677 |
112 |
85 |
19 |
8 |
965 |
You're sure the boss loves pranks? |
1.3125 |
0.05386 |
112 |
83 |
23 |
6 |
966 |
The board said we need to find new innovative ways to squeeze out the competition. |
1.3125 |
0.05078 |
112 |
81 |
27 |
4 |
967 |
I'll see most of you at the All-Hands meeting later. |
1.3125 |
0.05533 |
112 |
84 |
21 |
7 |
968 |
He says, “Go with the Apple. |
1.3125 |
0.05953 |
112 |
87 |
15 |
10 |
969 |
Why can't we have a normal mascot like other newspapers? |
1.3125 |
0.05386 |
112 |
83 |
23 |
6 |
970 |
I said to get a massive cake... |
1.3125 |
0.05386 |
112 |
83 |
23 |
6 |
971 |
I see you two have met the new public relations manager. |
1.3125 |
0.05533 |
112 |
84 |
21 |
7 |
972 |
For the next part of the team-building exercise, bring it back to the Everglades and release it. |
1.3125 |
0.05533 |
112 |
84 |
21 |
7 |
973 |
He's here for the ethics training. |
1.3125 |
0.05533 |
112 |
84 |
21 |
7 |
974 |
Set him up in the customer service department. |
1.3125 |
0.05953 |
112 |
87 |
15 |
10 |
975 |
Dawson made his numbers? Good, now squeeze a few more sales out of Jenkins. |
1.3125 |
0.05817 |
112 |
86 |
17 |
9 |
976 |
I’m starting to re-think the ‘bring your pet to work day’. |
1.3125 |
0.05078 |
112 |
81 |
27 |
4 |
977 |
Looks like a revisit of 'Bring your pet to work day' guidelines is in order. |
1.3125 |
0.05953 |
112 |
87 |
15 |
10 |
978 |
You might want to run that past the boss. |
1.3125 |
0.05078 |
112 |
81 |
27 |
4 |
979 |
Hey guys, taking the boss out for lunch? |
1.3125 |
0.05386 |
112 |
83 |
23 |
6 |
980 |
I know it was your pet project but it had to go. |
1.3125 |
0.05234 |
112 |
82 |
25 |
5 |
981 |
Just put it in the attorney's office, they will get along fine |
1.3125 |
0.05677 |
112 |
85 |
19 |
8 |
982 |
Take him over to sales. |
1.3125 |
0.05234 |
112 |
82 |
25 |
5 |
983 |
We start coding with Python today. |
1.3125 |
0.04917 |
112 |
80 |
29 |
3 |
984 |
Make sure he has a valid Green Card then assign him to security. |
1.3125 |
0.05386 |
112 |
83 |
23 |
6 |
985 |
Get him upstairs. Accounting just asked for a new adder. |
1.3125 |
0.05533 |
112 |
84 |
21 |
7 |
986 |
Marketing says that he skews a little TOO freudian. |
1.3125 |
0.05817 |
112 |
86 |
17 |
9 |
987 |
Are you sure this is really virus protection? |
1.3125 |
0.05386 |
112 |
83 |
23 |
6 |
988 |
Yeah, but does what you're proposing have legs? |
1.3125 |
0.05386 |
112 |
83 |
23 |
6 |
989 |
Do you know who kept hissing during my presentation? |
1.3125 |
0.05953 |
112 |
87 |
15 |
10 |
990 |
I said I needed a snake for the toilet! |
1.3125 |
0.05533 |
112 |
84 |
21 |
7 |
991 |
Mr. Trump still prefers the GOP Elephant as his description! |
1.3125 |
0.05953 |
112 |
87 |
15 |
10 |
992 |
I think Liz said she wanted fun "and a Conga" for her retirement party. |
1.3125 |
0.05817 |
112 |
86 |
17 |
9 |
993 |
You sales guys are cold-blooded. Have I ever told you that? |
1.3097 |
0.05195 |
113 |
83 |
25 |
5 |
994 |
Did your customer accept the apple? |
1.3097 |
0.05907 |
113 |
88 |
15 |
10 |
995 |
Show him to the conference room. He's here for the deposition. |
1.3097 |
0.05491 |
113 |
85 |
21 |
7 |
996 |
I see you've met our new attorney. Put him in Johnson's old office. |
1.3097 |
0.04882 |
113 |
81 |
29 |
3 |
997 |
I see the Amazon acquisition is going smoothly. |
1.3097 |
0.05195 |
113 |
83 |
25 |
5 |
998 |
I guess we can stop blaming Bill for the backups. |
1.3097 |
0.05195 |
113 |
83 |
25 |
5 |
999 |
Rats and fresh coffee in the dayroom. |
1.3097 |
0.05491 |
113 |
85 |
21 |
7 |
1000 |
No, no. Financial wants a constrictor. |
1.3097 |
0.05041 |
113 |
82 |
27 |
4 |
1001 |
It was a metaphor! The CEO has to be a human... |
1.3077 |
0.05647 |
104 |
78 |
20 |
6 |
1002 |
No, I meant a plumber's snake. |
1.3063 |
0.05548 |
111 |
84 |
20 |
7 |
1003 |
We're not *that* pet-friendly. |
1.3063 |
0.05399 |
111 |
83 |
22 |
6 |
1004 |
Snakes and corporate ladders? |
1.3063 |
0.05399 |
111 |
83 |
22 |
6 |
1005 |
So, last week it was your service dog? |
1.3063 |
0.05399 |
111 |
83 |
22 |
6 |
1006 |
He gets the corner cubicle with the aquarium. |
1.3063 |
0.05245 |
111 |
82 |
24 |
5 |
1007 |
Not now...he's having a hissyfit |
1.3063 |
0.05694 |
111 |
85 |
18 |
8 |
1008 |
I know it ate the receptionist, but it's a service animal. |
1.3063 |
0.05086 |
111 |
81 |
26 |
4 |
1009 |
You are being sued by Adam and Eve who claim that they lost everything after following your advice. |
1.3063 |
0.05694 |
111 |
85 |
18 |
8 |
1010 |
This is not what I meant when I said we needed to promote diversity in the workplace. |
1.3063 |
0.05836 |
111 |
86 |
16 |
9 |
1011 |
I think you guys carried the team-building exercise a little far. |
1.3063 |
0.05399 |
111 |
83 |
22 |
6 |
1012 |
Yes, Mr. Trump ordered the fresh sushi. |
1.3063 |
0.05399 |
111 |
83 |
22 |
6 |
1013 |
Well, Governor Pence, do you think you can carry him all the way to the White House? |
1.3063 |
0.05694 |
111 |
85 |
18 |
8 |
1014 |
I'm pretty sure he wanted the Repp file, not reptile. |
1.3063 |
0.05975 |
111 |
87 |
14 |
10 |
1015 |
Place the boa on the corner rack right next to the sequined gowns. |
1.3063 |
0.05399 |
111 |
83 |
22 |
6 |
1016 |
No, we already have enough forked tongues in Marketing. Try Customer Service. |
1.3063 |
0.05836 |
111 |
86 |
16 |
9 |
1017 |
He doesn't look like a team player. |
1.3063 |
0.05548 |
111 |
84 |
20 |
7 |
1018 |
If you just learned to walk upright, you could cut your staff by 50% |
1.3063 |
0.05694 |
111 |
85 |
18 |
8 |
1019 |
I'm starting to regret approving Take Your Pet to Work Day. |
1.3063 |
0.05245 |
111 |
82 |
24 |
5 |
1020 |
I didn't know we were relocating HR. |
1.3063 |
0.05694 |
111 |
85 |
18 |
8 |
1021 |
'Predatory lending' is just a saying. |
1.3063 |
0.05548 |
111 |
84 |
20 |
7 |
1022 |
We should be mouse-free by Monday. |
1.3063 |
0.05086 |
111 |
81 |
26 |
4 |
1023 |
Caught Fred in the water cooler again,eh? |
1.3063 |
0.05399 |
111 |
83 |
22 |
6 |
1024 |
When the boss said, "do whatever it takes to win this case", I think he was thinking more along the lines of jury tampering. |
1.3063 |
0.05694 |
111 |
85 |
18 |
8 |
1025 |
He gets the corner office. He's the bosses nephew. |
1.3063 |
0.05086 |
111 |
81 |
26 |
4 |
1026 |
He's a cold blooded sales machine |
1.3063 |
0.05399 |
111 |
83 |
22 |
6 |
1027 |
It looks smaller on my Pokemon GO |
1.3063 |
0.05245 |
111 |
82 |
24 |
5 |
1028 |
No! I said I wanted a snack. |
1.3063 |
0.05836 |
111 |
86 |
16 |
9 |
1029 |
Take him to Legal. He's not an invasive species there. |
1.3063 |
0.05694 |
111 |
85 |
18 |
8 |
1030 |
It's not what it looks like. |
1.3063 |
0.05399 |
111 |
83 |
22 |
6 |
1031 |
Take it back...turns out they said to bring a DEAL to the table... |
1.3063 |
0.05836 |
111 |
86 |
16 |
9 |
1032 |
Hurry! His other advisers are already in the conference room. |
1.3048 |
0.05761 |
105 |
80 |
18 |
7 |
1033 |
How are you gonna get that thing in her pencil drawer? |
1.3036 |
0.05505 |
112 |
85 |
20 |
7 |
1034 |
Introduce the new guy to the rest of the sales staff. |
1.3028 |
0.06044 |
109 |
86 |
13 |
10 |
1035 |
When I asked you to "land the big one" I was referring to the Shyzdrek contract. |
1.3028 |
0.05453 |
109 |
82 |
21 |
6 |
1036 |
Careful boys, don't let anyone see Mr Trump without his wig on |
1.3028 |
0.05607 |
109 |
83 |
19 |
7 |
1037 |
Blame spellcheck. I meant to write "I need a new monitor" and it changed it to "big scary python." |
1.3028 |
0.06183 |
109 |
87 |
11 |
11 |
1038 |
Thanks for taking our new attorney out to lunch, fellas. |
1.3028 |
0.05453 |
109 |
82 |
21 |
6 |
1039 |
Congratulations on winning the race to the bottom. |
1.3028 |
0.05902 |
109 |
85 |
15 |
9 |
1040 |
Bathroom got clogged again? |
1.3028 |
0.05453 |
109 |
82 |
21 |
6 |
1041 |
He's on a strict diet of corporate sheep and unhireable interns. |
1.3028 |
0.05453 |
109 |
82 |
21 |
6 |
1042 |
Miss Coulter, you're on in five. |
1.3028 |
0.05756 |
109 |
84 |
17 |
8 |
1043 |
When you're finished with him take him back to marketing. |
1.3028 |
0.05607 |
109 |
83 |
19 |
7 |
1044 |
This message from the CEO says that the meeting is canceled. She never wants to see that lying snake again. |
1.3028 |
0.05132 |
109 |
80 |
25 |
4 |
1045 |
He's here for the interview for campaign manager. |
1.3028 |
0.05607 |
109 |
83 |
19 |
7 |
1046 |
So the new guy in Legal isn't working out, I take it? |
1.3028 |
0.05756 |
109 |
84 |
17 |
8 |
1047 |
I think we've gone too far with some of these team building activities. |
1.3028 |
0.05756 |
109 |
84 |
17 |
8 |
1048 |
Just what we need--another viper in the office. |
1.3028 |
0.05756 |
109 |
84 |
17 |
8 |
1049 |
Well, sir, we are taking Bob's comfort animal to him. |
1.3028 |
0.06044 |
109 |
86 |
13 |
10 |
1050 |
We can't let the voters know the candidate's real identity. |
1.3028 |
0.06044 |
109 |
86 |
13 |
10 |
1051 |
No more clogged toilet, sir. |
1.3028 |
0.05607 |
109 |
83 |
19 |
7 |
1052 |
I see you've met our new Compliance Officer |
1.3028 |
0.05756 |
109 |
84 |
17 |
8 |
1053 |
Bill, I really think this is a disproportionate retaliation for Tom eating your chips. |
1.3028 |
0.05295 |
109 |
81 |
23 |
5 |
1054 |
You fools, all our competitor needs to do is get a big mongoose! |
1.3028 |
0.05295 |
109 |
81 |
23 |
5 |
1055 |
Put it in Bob's office. The cage won't be arriving till Thursday. |
1.3028 |
0.05607 |
109 |
83 |
19 |
7 |
1056 |
So….Malware is literally a worm? |
1.3028 |
0.05902 |
109 |
85 |
15 |
9 |
1057 |
Wow, that's really cold-blooded! |
1.3028 |
0.05295 |
109 |
81 |
23 |
5 |
1058 |
Hold on! Don't you remember what happened last time you flushed one down the toilet? |
1.3028 |
0.05295 |
109 |
81 |
23 |
5 |
1059 |
If that doesn't solve our mouse problem, nothing will. |
1.3028 |
0.05295 |
109 |
81 |
23 |
5 |
1060 |
I don't care if he's inside a lizard. I need Jenkins at that meeting! |
1.3028 |
0.05902 |
109 |
85 |
15 |
9 |
1061 |
That'll never fly. |
1.3028 |
0.05453 |
109 |
82 |
21 |
6 |
1062 |
I thought we weren't scaling up until Q4 |
1.3019 |
0.06020 |
106 |
83 |
14 |
9 |
1063 |
Not macro fish you idiots . . . he said micro fiche! |
1.3000 |
0.05996 |
110 |
87 |
13 |
10 |
1064 |
I was wrong. Let me say, categorically, we have no rodent problem whatsoever! |
1.3000 |
0.05411 |
110 |
83 |
21 |
6 |
1065 |
That's not what I meant by 'Bring back a live one'. |
1.3000 |
0.05093 |
110 |
81 |
25 |
4 |
1066 |
That item on your to-do list was actually an aconym for Employee Engament Lecture. |
1.3000 |
0.05411 |
110 |
83 |
21 |
6 |
1067 |
put it back into the Pokemon Go tank |
1.3000 |
0.05563 |
110 |
84 |
19 |
7 |
1068 |
You know the rules gentlemen, even our snake handlers are required to wear coats and ties. |
1.3000 |
0.05563 |
110 |
84 |
19 |
7 |
1069 |
Viewership is down; release the sea serpent into the sewer system. |
1.3000 |
0.05563 |
110 |
84 |
19 |
7 |
1070 |
I though marketing wasn't coming to this meeting. |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1071 |
Um, could you just call a plumber? |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1072 |
That explains the hissing. |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1073 |
Kevin, HR wants to talk about your behavior on that plane. |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1074 |
Sales is the second door on the left. |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1075 |
Say, isn't that Finley's service serpent, and where is Finley anyway? |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1076 |
Snack. I asked you to bring me a snack. |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1077 |
The snake oil business just isn't what it used to be. |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1078 |
I guess we really are snake oil salesmen. |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1079 |
We really need to hire some women. |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1080 |
I know you doubt his qualifications, but he did graduate from Trump University. |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1081 |
If Jenkins is in there, can we have him sign Cindy's birthday card before he goes? |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1082 |
Excuse us, we're just escorting Mr. Trump's new advisor to his office. |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1083 |
On second thought, perhaps I can authorize a slight pay raise. |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1084 |
When I said the successful candidate would need to be slippery as an eel, I was speaking metaphorically |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1085 |
Not the snake from marketing - bring her the one from accounting. |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1086 |
So long as you brought enough for everyone in the office . |
1.2963 |
0.05622 |
108 |
83 |
18 |
7 |
1087 |
Sorry, guys. Trump just hired a new campaign manager. |
1.2963 |
0.05622 |
108 |
83 |
18 |
7 |
1088 |
What the boss actually asked for was a 'servant.' |
1.2963 |
0.05921 |
108 |
85 |
14 |
9 |
1089 |
And who is bringing the ladders? |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1090 |
It may seem weird now, but trust me: it's way safer than bring your child to work day. |
1.2963 |
0.04968 |
108 |
79 |
26 |
3 |
1091 |
We had to kick this one out of the focus group. He ate 4 of the mice. |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1092 |
When I asked you to place the order, I said Amazon not the Amazon. |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1093 |
We might want to rethink the team mascot idea. |
1.2963 |
0.04968 |
108 |
79 |
26 |
3 |
1094 |
Guys, did you forget about Nancy's snake allergy? |
1.2963 |
0.05921 |
108 |
85 |
14 |
9 |
1095 |
That's the new envelope moistener? |
1.2963 |
0.05139 |
108 |
80 |
24 |
4 |
1096 |
DON'T BELIEVE A WORD HE TELLS YOU. |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1097 |
I said bring me your best deal. |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1098 |
Tell the customer no can do. After 90 days, absolutely no returns! |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1099 |
Have you guys seen my mouse? |
1.2963 |
0.04968 |
108 |
79 |
26 |
3 |
1100 |
Hang on... Legal is on the 12th floor. |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1101 |
Ok, let's see...I believe his office will be between Ailes' and Bannon's. |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1102 |
Did you check his references? |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1103 |
You say Equal Employment Opportunity...I say SASHIMI! |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1104 |
Good morning, sir. |
1.2963 |
0.06066 |
108 |
86 |
12 |
10 |
1105 |
Larry, Scott, Kaa. I'll see you at the 3 o'clock. |
1.2963 |
0.05921 |
108 |
85 |
14 |
9 |
1106 |
Uh oh, looks like six more weeks of stagnant growth. |
1.2963 |
0.05921 |
108 |
85 |
14 |
9 |
1107 |
When I discussed increasing diversity, I had something a bit different in mind. |
1.2963 |
0.04968 |
108 |
79 |
26 |
3 |
1108 |
No, a PLUMBING snake. |
1.2963 |
0.05622 |
108 |
83 |
18 |
7 |
1109 |
No really guys. They say it's a good team-building exercise. |
1.2963 |
0.05139 |
108 |
80 |
24 |
4 |
1110 |
Rats in the lunch room again? |
1.2963 |
0.05139 |
108 |
80 |
24 |
4 |
1111 |
Take him to Marketing. |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1112 |
OK, Harry can take a sick day. |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1113 |
I think you misheard me, the boss wants "a big steak." |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1114 |
Better tell building maintenance the snakes are back. |
1.2963 |
0.05622 |
108 |
83 |
18 |
7 |
1115 |
Can you make it molt? We need more skin in the game. |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1116 |
Gary, you'll have to see someone in HR if you continue to eat your coworkers. |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1117 |
Yeah, but we need the apple. |
1.2963 |
0.05465 |
108 |
82 |
20 |
6 |
1118 |
Toilet trouble |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1119 |
I guess we are scaling up. |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1120 |
I'm a bit concerned about the new CEO's emotional support animal. |
1.2963 |
0.05305 |
108 |
81 |
22 |
5 |
1121 |
Of course he speaks with one, but HR says that’s an unfair stereotype. |
1.2963 |
0.05139 |
108 |
80 |
24 |
4 |
1122 |
Nightmares? Third Floor. |
1.2963 |
0.05773 |
108 |
84 |
16 |
8 |
1123 |
Are you guys from the IRS? |
1.2936 |
0.05727 |
109 |
85 |
16 |
8 |
1124 |
Uhh...not what I meant when I said you need Python training. |
1.2936 |
0.05422 |
109 |
83 |
20 |
6 |
1125 |
Looks like another case of 'What happens in Accounting stays in Accounting.' |
1.2936 |
0.05727 |
109 |
85 |
16 |
8 |
1126 |
Phil always morphs just before ethics training. |
1.2936 |
0.05263 |
109 |
82 |
22 |
5 |
1127 |
I apologize once again, but what are the dangers of investing in derivatives? |
1.2936 |
0.06016 |
109 |
87 |
12 |
10 |
1128 |
It aptly embodies our corporate commitment to dishonesty. |
1.2913 |
0.05455 |
103 |
78 |
20 |
5 |
1129 |
Your wasting our time...it says right here he won't have a leg to stand on. |
1.2897 |
0.05477 |
107 |
82 |
19 |
6 |
1130 |
The boss will be in a better mood now that it's out of his system. |
1.2897 |
0.05145 |
107 |
80 |
23 |
4 |
1131 |
Glad you're here, we're totally out of those. |
1.2897 |
0.05477 |
107 |
82 |
19 |
6 |
1132 |
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. |
1.2897 |
0.05145 |
107 |
80 |
23 |
4 |
1133 |
I see human resources screwed up again. |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1134 |
I look forward to November 9th when they all go back to the Capitol. |
1.2897 |
0.05313 |
107 |
81 |
21 |
5 |
1135 |
'Bring your Snake to Work Day' is not a thing. |
1.2897 |
0.05313 |
107 |
81 |
21 |
5 |
1136 |
It'll rattle the competition? I like it, Smith. |
1.2897 |
0.05313 |
107 |
81 |
21 |
5 |
1137 |
I said I wanted to SHAKE things up. |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1138 |
Wow, I only ordered a foot-long. |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1139 |
I love 'bring your pet to work' Fridays. Have either of you guys seen my cat, Mr. Tickle Dumpling? |
1.2897 |
0.05313 |
107 |
81 |
21 |
5 |
1140 |
You may have 12 foot poisonous snake but I've got this little piece of paper. |
1.2897 |
0.05313 |
107 |
81 |
21 |
5 |
1141 |
Our two-pronged strategy is too obvious. |
1.2897 |
0.05145 |
107 |
80 |
23 |
4 |
1142 |
Better hide it -- the SEC is on a fishing expedition |
1.2897 |
0.05145 |
107 |
80 |
23 |
4 |
1143 |
Her instructions: prey, eat, leave. |
1.2897 |
0.05313 |
107 |
81 |
21 |
5 |
1144 |
Yes he is a cold blooded killer, but can he close deals? |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1145 |
Internal Affairs found the snake in the grass... |
1.2897 |
0.05477 |
107 |
82 |
19 |
6 |
1146 |
New boss same as the old boss. |
1.2897 |
0.05313 |
107 |
81 |
21 |
5 |
1147 |
Are you in there Mr. Harris? How was the trip to the Amazon? |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1148 |
Make sure he gets the corner office in the legal department. |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1149 |
We want viral, not invasive. |
1.2897 |
0.05940 |
107 |
85 |
13 |
9 |
1150 |
It has to go! SHE ATE THE GECKO. |
1.2897 |
0.05790 |
107 |
84 |
15 |
8 |
1151 |
Aquarium, not carry him. |
1.2897 |
0.05145 |
107 |
80 |
23 |
4 |
1152 |
Wow ! Our top salesperson really is a snake! |
1.2897 |
0.05477 |
107 |
82 |
19 |
6 |
1153 |
As if this office needed another snake in the grass. |
1.2897 |
0.05790 |
107 |
84 |
15 |
8 |
1154 |
Are you deaf? I said "Bring me the biggest steak you can find!¨ |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1155 |
Take him in the back he didn't finish licking the envelopes. |
1.2897 |
0.05477 |
107 |
82 |
19 |
6 |
1156 |
Sorry, but unless this eel is electric, it won't reduce our carbon footprint. |
1.2897 |
0.05477 |
107 |
82 |
19 |
6 |
1157 |
Reticulated python? No, I texted 'Bring a pen.' |
1.2897 |
0.05477 |
107 |
82 |
19 |
6 |
1158 |
He's looking for some one with an apple. |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1159 |
Put him in....Steve's office. |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1160 |
I see you've located the source of that hissing sound. |
1.2897 |
0.04970 |
107 |
79 |
25 |
3 |
1161 |
I see you've met the new senior partner. |
1.2897 |
0.04970 |
107 |
79 |
25 |
3 |
1162 |
I see Mr. Shkreli has arrived for his deposition. |
1.2897 |
0.05790 |
107 |
84 |
15 |
8 |
1163 |
Sorry, guys. The lizard Irene saw in the conference room turned out to be a Pokémon. |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1164 |
Hold on. I said interns are supposed to have a bigger STAKE in our operations. |
1.2897 |
0.05477 |
107 |
82 |
19 |
6 |
1165 |
This report is going to take you a while to digest. |
1.2897 |
0.05145 |
107 |
80 |
23 |
4 |
1166 |
Your idea stinks and isn't scalable. |
1.2897 |
0.05940 |
107 |
85 |
13 |
9 |
1167 |
Too much alcohol at lunch boys. |
1.2897 |
0.05145 |
107 |
80 |
23 |
4 |
1168 |
Executive retreat? |
1.2885 |
0.05744 |
104 |
81 |
16 |
7 |
1169 |
This should solve our rat race problem. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1170 |
Well, yes, I DID say we should crush the competition... |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1171 |
Is it me, or are we opening the Chamber of Secrets too often these days? |
1.2870 |
0.04753 |
108 |
79 |
27 |
2 |
1172 |
But you say it knows coding? |
1.2870 |
0.05742 |
108 |
85 |
15 |
8 |
1173 |
Dog! Bring your dog to work day. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1174 |
You're gonna need a bigger boa. |
1.2857 |
0.05696 |
105 |
82 |
16 |
7 |
1175 |
I thought the annual stockholders' meeting was next month. |
1.2857 |
0.05365 |
105 |
80 |
20 |
5 |
1176 |
Is that the new H.R. director? |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1177 |
They go next to the sharks in accounting. |
1.2857 |
0.05365 |
105 |
80 |
20 |
5 |
1178 |
When I said to give the customer a killer deal, this is not what I had in mind. |
1.2857 |
0.05365 |
105 |
80 |
20 |
5 |
1179 |
I was using a figure of speech saying to put the "squeeze" on him. |
1.2857 |
0.05365 |
105 |
80 |
20 |
5 |
1180 |
He's our analyst. He really wraps his head around a problem. |
1.2857 |
0.05365 |
105 |
80 |
20 |
5 |
1181 |
There's always a snake in the graph on Wall Street. |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1182 |
THAT'S our new campaign manager? |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1183 |
Boss says to get rid of that thing. Last time it was here, it threw a real hissy fit. |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1184 |
Well, he slithers outside the box, which we need more of around here... |
1.2857 |
0.05696 |
105 |
82 |
16 |
7 |
1185 |
I don't care if you are going to carrying him the whole time, he needs to have an ID badge. |
1.2857 |
0.05191 |
105 |
79 |
22 |
4 |
1186 |
No, no, you idiots! I said get me a big STEAK! |
1.2857 |
0.05696 |
105 |
82 |
16 |
7 |
1187 |
I think that's not the kind of Python the IT department requested. |
1.2857 |
0.05191 |
105 |
79 |
22 |
4 |
1188 |
So the mole's taken care of , right? |
1.2857 |
0.05191 |
105 |
79 |
22 |
4 |
1189 |
Where are all those stamps and envelopes? |
1.2857 |
0.06009 |
105 |
84 |
12 |
9 |
1190 |
I'll tell Jenkins it's going to be another long one. |
1.2857 |
0.05365 |
105 |
80 |
20 |
5 |
1191 |
Serpents prefer Apple computers. |
1.2857 |
0.05855 |
105 |
83 |
14 |
8 |
1192 |
Relax. It's a birthday present for my mother-in-law. |
1.2857 |
0.05696 |
105 |
82 |
16 |
7 |
1193 |
Always hard getting the CEO to move on after a merger. |
1.2857 |
0.05855 |
105 |
83 |
14 |
8 |
1194 |
Welcome to Investor Relations. |
1.2857 |
0.06009 |
105 |
84 |
12 |
9 |
1195 |
Put it in the fridge. |
1.2857 |
0.06159 |
105 |
85 |
10 |
10 |
1196 |
In an effort to meet budget constraints, the company decided to scale down the legal department. |
1.2857 |
0.06009 |
105 |
84 |
12 |
9 |
1197 |
We can try hiding it in assets, but I think we'll have to report it as a liability. |
1.2857 |
0.05191 |
105 |
79 |
22 |
4 |
1198 |
Quick, get him back to his penthouse before the shareholders see him! |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1199 |
I just don't see how he'll guard our Chamber of Secrets now that it's all digital. |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1200 |
So how did our clients like the zoo? |
1.2857 |
0.05696 |
105 |
82 |
16 |
7 |
1201 |
We found him out back mooching off the wifi. |
1.2857 |
0.05191 |
105 |
79 |
22 |
4 |
1202 |
We're salesmen. We need to start outsourcing the actual extraction of the snake oil. |
1.2857 |
0.05191 |
105 |
79 |
22 |
4 |
1203 |
Escort the snake back to the legal department. |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1204 |
Again? |
1.2857 |
0.05696 |
105 |
82 |
16 |
7 |
1205 |
Sea monster or not, everyone complies with the dress code here, Larry. |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1206 |
No no I'm hungry, I said, "pick me up a big STEAK". |
1.2857 |
0.05191 |
105 |
79 |
22 |
4 |
1207 |
Time to bring out the litigator. |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1208 |
No! No! I said, "Move your big fat ass." |
1.2857 |
0.05696 |
105 |
82 |
16 |
7 |
1209 |
put him in the office with the politicians |
1.2857 |
0.05696 |
105 |
82 |
16 |
7 |
1210 |
Potluck AGAIN? |
1.2857 |
0.05365 |
105 |
80 |
20 |
5 |
1211 |
Asp? I said "killer app"! |
1.2857 |
0.05191 |
105 |
79 |
22 |
4 |
1212 |
Now you're certain you've used one of these before. |
1.2857 |
0.05696 |
105 |
82 |
16 |
7 |
1213 |
I see you've met our new consultant. |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1214 |
Agnes in Accounting complained to H.R. again...I'm afraid it's curtains for Monty. |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1215 |
So THAT explains the clogged plumbing... |
1.2857 |
0.05365 |
105 |
80 |
20 |
5 |
1216 |
See, we told you Bob in Accounting was a snake. |
1.2857 |
0.06009 |
105 |
84 |
12 |
9 |
1217 |
Guys, actually the boss wanted Anne and Wanda in the meeting. |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1218 |
Bring Your Pet to Work Day was last week! |
1.2857 |
0.06009 |
105 |
84 |
12 |
9 |
1219 |
Are you guys calling me a liar or am I overly sensitive to metaphors? |
1.2857 |
0.05533 |
105 |
81 |
18 |
6 |
1220 |
Gentlemen! This is very eel advised! |
1.2844 |
0.05544 |
109 |
85 |
17 |
7 |
1221 |
I said, "reel in the giant DEAL." |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1222 |
Oh wow, I thought you were going to call a plumber. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1223 |
Try not to sleep with this one. |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1224 |
I distinctly told you to get a list of stakeholders! |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1225 |
Not the long tail solution I had in mind. |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1226 |
Put him in the grass labeled "Chief Financial Officer" |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1227 |
Don't try to flush it. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1228 |
When do the ladders arrive? |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1229 |
This merger might swallow us whole. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1230 |
We are running dangerously low on snake oil. Get him to Marketing immediately! |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1231 |
I specifically asked for coiled. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1232 |
No, I ordered the sandwich. |
1.2830 |
0.04972 |
106 |
79 |
24 |
3 |
1233 |
Ah yes, the new organic hole puncher. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1234 |
I like the initiative but I didn't realize this is what you meant when you said you had a "green" solution to our rat problem in the daycare. |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1235 |
Same as last month ... extract the oil and put him in charge of sales. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1236 |
We've got bigger fish to fry. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1237 |
You idiots, I said I want to SHAKE things up around here. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1238 |
Paul Ryan said that he doesn't approve of his venom, but he won't withdraw his endorsement. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1239 |
Don't follow his advice if he starts talking about Apple. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1240 |
Wow, I didn't think downsizing the legal department would be this difficult. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1241 |
If you're looking for the Tree of Knowledge, it's two floors up. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1242 |
Impressive, but your job is to manage our human resources. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1243 |
Why do we keep making the same hires? |
1.2830 |
0.05958 |
106 |
85 |
12 |
9 |
1244 |
I meant the toilet snake! |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1245 |
You need to talk to human resources. |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1246 |
He's ruined take your pet to work week. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1247 |
Honey what are you doing here? |
1.2830 |
0.05958 |
106 |
85 |
12 |
9 |
1248 |
If you ask me, I'd take it to lost and found. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1249 |
I think the corporate branding department here at Amazon has gone too far. |
1.2804 |
0.05277 |
107 |
82 |
20 |
5 |
1250 |
So this is what being an Equal Opportunity Employer has come down to. |
1.2804 |
0.05442 |
107 |
83 |
18 |
6 |
1251 |
When I told you to go out and get BOA on our team, I meant Bank of America! |
1.2804 |
0.05442 |
107 |
83 |
18 |
6 |
1252 |
Put him in charge of advertising. |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1253 |
Why don't you guys stop hissing and moaning and go back to work. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1254 |
We need to clarify the office pet policy. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1255 |
You know , I was speaking figuratively about squeezing the competition . |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1256 |
Norman is throwing a hissy fit again |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1257 |
Gentlemen, are we perhaps taking our discussion about scalability a bit literally? |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1258 |
Does HR know whether we had key-man insurance on the gecko? |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1259 |
I thought we fired Ailes. |
1.2788 |
0.06180 |
104 |
85 |
9 |
10 |
1260 |
How was court? |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1261 |
We have interns for that. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1262 |
Put him in the break room. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1263 |
I think the email asked you to bring a retirement CAKE. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1264 |
When I said we needed a big snake for the clogged drain in the men's room, I think you may have misunderstood me. |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1265 |
Got stuck training the new guy, eh? |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1266 |
Put him at the empty desk in the tax department. |
1.2788 |
0.05870 |
104 |
83 |
13 |
8 |
1267 |
The ladies asked if you could put that thing away. |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1268 |
That's all I need, another forked tongue in this organization. |
1.2788 |
0.06180 |
104 |
85 |
9 |
10 |
1269 |
We're gonna need another CEO. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1270 |
Hey, Chief! We figured out what happened to all of our informants! |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1271 |
According to current polls, this will be the best third party candidate ! |
1.2788 |
0.06180 |
104 |
85 |
9 |
10 |
1272 |
He asked to speak with Eve in the arboretum |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1273 |
That explains the high turnover in accounting. |
1.2788 |
0.05870 |
104 |
83 |
13 |
8 |
1274 |
Guys, I know I said we need to take this to the next level, but did we really have to disturb our general counsel? |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1275 |
Good effort, but we need a mechanical snake to fix our stopped-up toilet. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1276 |
They say it's this year's version of the ice bucket challenge. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1277 |
They'll soon pay when we put the squeeze on them. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1278 |
I'll grab the oil and meet you in sales. |
1.2788 |
0.05870 |
104 |
83 |
13 |
8 |
1279 |
Just put him over by Janet's desk for now. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1280 |
No animals were harmed in the drawing of this cartoon. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1281 |
Take him to Sales. He's on the 'Adam & Eve' account. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1282 |
This is not what I meant by scaling back. |
1.2788 |
0.06027 |
104 |
84 |
11 |
9 |
1283 |
Hey, aren't you the guys who had the extra-long briefcase? |
1.2788 |
0.05870 |
104 |
83 |
13 |
8 |
1284 |
Makes you wish Manafort was still in charge. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1285 |
That's not the 2-hole punch I had in mind. |
1.2788 |
0.05012 |
104 |
78 |
23 |
3 |
1286 |
Make sure our new CEO feels right at home. |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1287 |
'He wants to buy more stock in Apple.' |
1.2788 |
0.05870 |
104 |
83 |
13 |
8 |
1288 |
You idiots, I said I want a big STEAK ! |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1289 |
Just what this law firm needs. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1290 |
I'm afraid the snake oil we've been selling really works. |
1.2788 |
0.05870 |
104 |
83 |
13 |
8 |
1291 |
I TOLD you to go and get me a big STEAK! |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1292 |
What we don't need around here is more snake oil. |
1.2788 |
0.05012 |
104 |
78 |
23 |
3 |
1293 |
Bring Your Pet To Work Day is tomorrow, Higgins |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1294 |
Jeez Larry, after 20 years with the company you would think they would have the decency to let you just slide out on your own... |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1295 |
Was he tempting Eve in procurement again with those new Apple iMacs? |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1296 |
It's not because you're a snake. It's because you ate Vice President Whiskers. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1297 |
The Snake Oil account is now all yours. |
1.2788 |
0.05870 |
104 |
83 |
13 |
8 |
1298 |
How badly do we want to win? |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1299 |
I told you it doesn't work without Eve. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1300 |
I thought we all understood snake oil doesn't work |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1301 |
Careful. That's the candidate's spirit-animal. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1302 |
I'll pass on the sushi. |
1.2788 |
0.05870 |
104 |
83 |
13 |
8 |
1303 |
No. Get the one from Legal. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1304 |
I see we've got something new for our Lost & Found. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1305 |
I'll tell the big man that his new campaign manager is here. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1306 |
Said only that in his past life he was a Republican. |
1.2788 |
0.06027 |
104 |
84 |
11 |
9 |
1307 |
Depositions are in 206. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1308 |
He's our new hire for the customer complaint department. |
1.2788 |
0.05012 |
104 |
78 |
23 |
3 |
1309 |
Great, the therapy snake has arrived, get him up to legal right away. |
1.2788 |
0.06027 |
104 |
84 |
11 |
9 |
1310 |
The accountants get more cold-blooded every year. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1311 |
Guess the office mascot wasn't such a great idea. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1312 |
Good job. Printer's working now. |
1.2788 |
0.04823 |
104 |
77 |
25 |
2 |
1313 |
I see the diversity program has moved beyond hominids. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1314 |
Are you on the way out or on the way in? |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1315 |
Good work, Jenkins. Tell the girls it's safe to get back in the typing pool. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1316 |
I didn't realize there was such a push on to hire endangered species. |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1317 |
Is that the new CEO? |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1318 |
All I'm saying: you all could have sent me an email letting me know it was Bring Your Anaconda To Work Day. Now I look like the jerk. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1319 |
I said this suit needed a large 'rep tie'. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1320 |
The chairman specified a "new deal," not a nude eel. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1321 |
It was an acronym! We need Better Overhead Administration! |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1322 |
Guys, the boss said he liked MONTY python. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1323 |
Does it have experience with industrial sinks and toilets? |
1.2788 |
0.05012 |
104 |
78 |
23 |
3 |
1324 |
Too bad--she was a darn good receptionist. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1325 |
Bad news, we just learned the FDA wants to regulate snake oil now, too |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1326 |
Not a real snake, one that practices law. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1327 |
I see the new HR director has arrived. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1328 |
I see you're taking the boss out to lunch again. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1329 |
Don't leave it in the refrigerator. |
1.2788 |
0.04823 |
104 |
77 |
25 |
2 |
1330 |
Is THIS why my unpaid interns keep going missing? |
1.2788 |
0.05012 |
104 |
78 |
23 |
3 |
1331 |
That's our new corporate mascot? What happened to Hoppy the Bunny? |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1332 |
It's our new organic, all-natural exterminator. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1333 |
I think we need to revisit our 'bring your pet to work' policy...... |
1.2788 |
0.04823 |
104 |
77 |
25 |
2 |
1334 |
I said bake sale. |
1.2762 |
0.05661 |
105 |
83 |
15 |
7 |
1335 |
I told you she was a snake when you hired her. |
1.2762 |
0.05152 |
105 |
80 |
21 |
4 |
1336 |
Sushi again for the staff meeting? |
1.2762 |
0.05496 |
105 |
82 |
17 |
6 |
1337 |
Envelope lickers are a dying breed. |
1.2762 |
0.04972 |
105 |
79 |
23 |
3 |
1338 |
Actually, I told you to forget your giant mistake. |
1.2762 |
0.05496 |
105 |
82 |
17 |
6 |
1339 |
In hindsight, we should have called it Bring Your Non-lethal Pet to Work Day. |
1.2762 |
0.05496 |
105 |
82 |
17 |
6 |
1340 |
But does it scale? |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1341 |
Uh . . . I said to bring me a rare steak. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1342 |
I wish he'd go back to using PowerPoint. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1343 |
Don't let the boss catch you playing with your snake in the office. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1344 |
No, I wrote construction. Construction not constriction, invest in, not ingestion. Okay, I don't remember what I wrote here. That does look like anaconda. |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1345 |
I knew relocating to the Everglades was a bad idea |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1346 |
So that's the Souvenir you two got me from Rio Olympics |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1347 |
Oh. I thought your reference to our new client was metaphoric. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1348 |
Another new Lawyer?? |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1349 |
I didn't realize we actually sell their oil. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1350 |
I meant find a real lawyer. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1351 |
No, I said, "Bring me a snack," not "a snake." |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1352 |
Forget the damn snake . . . what've we got on the candidate and the apple? |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1353 |
I admit, our Burmese offshoring strategy comes with its own challenges |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1354 |
He can't type, speak, or do meetings, but he'll save us a ton in stamp moistening. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1355 |
I don't think that's what the boss meant when he told us to scale up sales. |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1356 |
There’s a sushi chef downstairs looking for him. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1357 |
I meant bring in the 'Businness Operating Agreement' to the conference room. |
1.2745 |
0.05937 |
102 |
82 |
12 |
8 |
1358 |
I know how you feel. The auditors were in my department last week. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1359 |
A friend who used to work with him said he was a snake. This confirms it, I guess. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1360 |
You understand that we will need a longer table for our weekly meeting. |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1361 |
Make your own sushi day is next week. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1362 |
Are you here for the stress test? |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1363 |
This is not what I meant by 'more exotic food at the office parties'. |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1364 |
Let me guess, this is your pet peeve. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1365 |
HR is upstairs. |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1366 |
We found her in the typing pool. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1367 |
You guys are getting a reputation as bottom-feeders. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1368 |
"Sorry guys, I guess she said get me the biggest deal you can find". |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1369 |
Is that the same one you flushed down the toilet a couple of weeks ago? |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1370 |
sorry, legal department is on the 4th floor. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1371 |
I think he'd benefit from speaking to Harmon in offshore accounts. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1372 |
Well, they did hesitate for a moment when I ordered sushi for 100. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1373 |
I thought we already made the sacrifice this month? |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1374 |
I know IT said we had a mice problem... I just think you misunderstood. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1375 |
I've got his resume right here, but I don't think he can type sixty words a minute. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1376 |
I'm glad we're finally getting this thing off the ground. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1377 |
So, how many more are left in the pit? |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1378 |
I asked you to bring me back a snack |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1379 |
He always reverts to type at campaign headquarters. |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1380 |
The executive training seminar is down the hall on the left! |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1381 |
The law department's on the 23rd floor, guys |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1382 |
Oh, I see you two have met the new HR manager. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1383 |
Sorry to see Johnson called in eel today. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1384 |
I hate basilisk Mondays. |
1.2745 |
0.05937 |
102 |
82 |
12 |
8 |
1385 |
And you guys feel confident this is a better solution than me licking my own stamp? |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1386 |
On rye after it's smoked. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1387 |
Put it in the room with the ladders. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1388 |
I said pick up some SNACKS for Bob's retirement party. |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1389 |
You must be looking for claims. |
1.2745 |
0.04858 |
102 |
76 |
24 |
2 |
1390 |
If it's Fred, I win the office pool. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1391 |
I think Eve's been waiting for you. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1392 |
Acquisitions and mergers: Robbins, first door on the left. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1393 |
I'm still the only snake in a suit |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1394 |
I don't think a snake in the grass is a good mascot for our firm. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1395 |
The boss's office is 3 doors down on the left |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1396 |
Gentlemen, our clientele is getting a little too slimy for my taste. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1397 |
And here, I thought he'd fit right in... |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1398 |
About time you got your tired asp out of here. |
1.2745 |
0.05937 |
102 |
82 |
12 |
8 |
1399 |
We found the source of your IT problem. |
1.2745 |
0.04858 |
102 |
76 |
24 |
2 |
1400 |
I see you've met our new head of HR. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1401 |
His resume says he's proficient in Python. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1402 |
This animal ate our work. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1403 |
That forked tongue will ensure success around here. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1404 |
Thought you guys stopped drinking. |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1405 |
Sushi sale at Costco? |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1406 |
Put him in the conference room with Adam and Eve, our new interns. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1407 |
So, it turns out Phillips really was a 'snake in the grass', after all! |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1408 |
I'm sorry, but only seeing eye snakes are allowed in the office |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1409 |
We need to talk about Casual Fridays. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1410 |
We're upgrading the mice at each work station. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1411 |
You know, boys, we don't need Legal for everything. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1412 |
Sorry guys – just because you found him in Legal, doesn’t mean you can keep him in Accounts. |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1413 |
I always knew Murphy's true colors would come out, but the forked tongue is a surprise. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1414 |
New director of sssssssales? |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1415 |
So that explains why Cindy hasn't shown up for a few weeks. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1416 |
I knew IT would pass the buck on that mongoose problem. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1417 |
Find him an office down in advertising... doesn't need to be furnished. |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1418 |
Unfortunately, the time has come to constrict our budget. |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1419 |
Snacks. I said, "I'll get the drinks and you guys get the snacks". |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1420 |
Any luck finding Eve in the garden? |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1421 |
Our new corporate counsel I presume? |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1422 |
Well, it's cheaper than a mousetrap. |
1.2745 |
0.05771 |
102 |
81 |
14 |
7 |
1423 |
Wouldn't it be easier just to fire Yardley? |
1.2718 |
0.05198 |
103 |
79 |
20 |
4 |
1424 |
Here's the list of terminated employees. |
1.2718 |
0.05378 |
103 |
80 |
18 |
5 |
1425 |
Finally someone around here more slimy than Mr. Ellis. |
1.2718 |
0.05721 |
103 |
82 |
14 |
7 |
1426 |
Do we have the WORST cafeteria, or what? |
1.2718 |
0.05012 |
103 |
78 |
22 |
3 |
1427 |
This wasn't what I had in mind for Bring Your Pet to Work Day... |
1.2673 |
0.05783 |
101 |
81 |
13 |
7 |
1428 |
Guys, the term snake pit was purely figurative |
1.2673 |
0.04644 |
101 |
75 |
25 |
1 |
1429 |
Is that the snake from accounting? |
1.2673 |
0.05952 |
101 |
82 |
11 |
8 |
1430 |
I see you met the new head of HR. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1431 |
Yes, a forked tongue! A pre-requisite for our nominee. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1432 |
Tch! This always happens with eager new recruits... What I said was get a FEEL for the office! |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1433 |
Will somebody get Sam a Snickers? He gets slithery when he's hungry. |
1.2673 |
0.05052 |
101 |
77 |
21 |
3 |
1434 |
Just getting the snakes out of the boardroom. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1435 |
Carefull boys, his name is still on the letterhead. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1436 |
OK, but don't make it a habit. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1437 |
When I said we need a real snake to manage the campaign ... |
1.2673 |
0.05783 |
101 |
81 |
13 |
7 |
1438 |
Careful, he was just named CFO. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1439 |
Who's going to tell the boss that bring you pet to work day didn't fair well for his dachshunds? |
1.2673 |
0.06116 |
101 |
83 |
9 |
9 |
1440 |
No, you're not going to wriggle your way out of this situation! |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1441 |
Sorry Ted, but what part of "steer clear of that witch Rhonda" didn't you understand? |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1442 |
I said "bring me a good deal"! |
1.2673 |
0.05783 |
101 |
81 |
13 |
7 |
1443 |
I see the snakes from corporate are back. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1444 |
When they said they were going to give some snake the old heave-ho, I thought they were speaking metaphorically. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1445 |
Bill it to 'miscellaneous'. |
1.2673 |
0.05052 |
101 |
77 |
21 |
3 |
1446 |
Great work, Mr. Slithersby! Forbidden fruit sales are up 20% this month! |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1447 |
Place in the Auditor's office. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1448 |
That explains the missing mouses! |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1449 |
Summer interns can be so hit or miss |
1.2673 |
0.05052 |
101 |
77 |
21 |
3 |
1450 |
His online application said he was a VAPER, which now I can see was a typo. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1451 |
Peterson, I warned you about going to law school. |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1452 |
The rice and nori are in the kitchen. Now get rolling! |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1453 |
I'll tell Ernie his ten-o'-clock is a-writhing. |
1.2673 |
0.05052 |
101 |
77 |
21 |
3 |
1454 |
That reminds me. There are donuts in the break room. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1455 |
I see corporate arrived early. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1456 |
Paid to scale? No way! |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1457 |
Maybe I haven't made myself clear: Ssstop ssstealing offisssce sssuppliesss. |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1458 |
We've put you in charge of reduction in force. Report to H.R. |
1.2673 |
0.05052 |
101 |
77 |
21 |
3 |
1459 |
Has any of you seen my toy poodle? |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1460 |
I thought I said to scale back. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1461 |
We've out-sourced the down-sizing to a third-party constrictor. |
1.2673 |
0.04852 |
101 |
76 |
23 |
2 |
1462 |
Give him the corner office. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1463 |
I said it was a two man stake out. |
1.2673 |
0.05952 |
101 |
82 |
11 |
8 |
1464 |
Ls that the rep from Amazon? |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1465 |
Is speaking with a forked tongue a job requirement here? |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1466 |
I don't care if all the good ones were taken. That's the worst financial services mascot ever. |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1467 |
No... I said we needed to take a big STAKE in marketing. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1468 |
I'm sorry, but we're really looking for someone with at least five years of constricting experience. |
1.2673 |
0.04644 |
101 |
75 |
25 |
1 |
1469 |
At my last job, we just used solar panels. |
1.2673 |
0.05783 |
101 |
81 |
13 |
7 |
1470 |
I can't wait to see what he will drag in for the next office pot luck. |
1.2673 |
0.05783 |
101 |
81 |
13 |
7 |
1471 |
So he's is our new slippery slope analyst. |
1.2673 |
0.05952 |
101 |
82 |
11 |
8 |
1472 |
You clearly misunderstood 'put the squeeze on'. |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1473 |
Nice try. I invented that power move. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1474 |
The paper shredder might not be the right solution here |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1475 |
Ahh...the new Amazon paper shredder's arrived. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1476 |
No. I said, 'Find me an example of serpentine logic.' |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1477 |
Sorry, "legal" is one floor down. |
1.2673 |
0.05783 |
101 |
81 |
13 |
7 |
1478 |
He's the new VP in charge of downsizing. Put him in the corner office. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1479 |
This is the replacement campaign manager. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1480 |
At least this candidate is honest about what he is. |
1.2673 |
0.05052 |
101 |
77 |
21 |
3 |
1481 |
Again? Put it in Pence's office this time. |
1.2673 |
0.05783 |
101 |
81 |
13 |
7 |
1482 |
Lunchtime already? |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1483 |
He would have been our best lawyer if it wasn't for all the backbiting. |
1.2673 |
0.05052 |
101 |
77 |
21 |
3 |
1484 |
Ah, you must be the new social media intern. |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1485 |
I thought he said to bring him a big 'deal,' but maybe I heard wrong. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1486 |
Is it sushi grade? |
1.2673 |
0.06116 |
101 |
83 |
9 |
9 |
1487 |
Let's head back inside the box now. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1488 |
Guys, guys, guys--not REAL snake oil! |
1.2673 |
0.04852 |
101 |
76 |
23 |
2 |
1489 |
No! Get the one at our law firm. |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1490 |
Well, maybe we should rethink the mascot campaign to help our image here at the Bar Association. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1491 |
Last week it was a horse's head. I'm not going to cave in to extortion. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1492 |
Yeah, no need to worry, but accounting does have a few questions about your expense report. |
1.2673 |
0.04852 |
101 |
76 |
23 |
2 |
1493 |
Is Customer Service done with the conference room? |
1.2673 |
0.05952 |
101 |
82 |
11 |
8 |
1494 |
Good job, but the giant mixed nuts can won't be in till next week. |
1.2673 |
0.05952 |
101 |
82 |
11 |
8 |
1495 |
I told you to keep the lawyers in the Legal department. |
1.2673 |
0.05783 |
101 |
81 |
13 |
7 |
1496 |
There's no mention of trans-species limitations. The restroom is straight ahead, on your left. |
1.2673 |
0.05783 |
101 |
81 |
13 |
7 |
1497 |
I suddenly feel very inadequate. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1498 |
Go right in, legal's been looking forward to your presentation. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1499 |
How do we get oil out of it? |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1500 |
Ah, the new legal assistants! |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1501 |
On second thought, maybe a pie chart would have worked out better. |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1502 |
He needs his service pet in the conference room. |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1503 |
Looks like Bob drank his lunch again. |
1.2673 |
0.05430 |
101 |
79 |
17 |
5 |
1504 |
No, I said get me a SNACK! |
1.2673 |
0.05052 |
101 |
77 |
21 |
3 |
1505 |
Welcome to the Trump campaign. |
1.2673 |
0.06276 |
101 |
84 |
7 |
10 |
1506 |
Okay. But I asked for the Repp file. |
1.2673 |
0.05245 |
101 |
78 |
19 |
4 |
1507 |
I see you've met the new manager. |
1.2647 |
0.05200 |
102 |
79 |
19 |
4 |
1508 |
Carl, bring your eel to work day is NEXT Friday! |
1.2647 |
0.05561 |
102 |
81 |
15 |
6 |
1509 |
Send it back. We already have enough snakes in this office. |
1.2647 |
0.05383 |
102 |
80 |
17 |
5 |
1510 |
Seen Bob? He stepped out for a smoke. |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1511 |
I think a simple Powerpoint would have been sufficient to illustrate our problems with economies of scale. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1512 |
Now, just as I complete our presentation and say "As you can see, we have our arms around the biggest snake oil concept in history," you walk in. They´ll never forget our pitch. |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1513 |
He almost slipped away |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1514 |
Thank you for joining our legal team. Welcome to our floor. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1515 |
That's not what I meant when I told you we needed to offer COBRA coverage. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1516 |
Tony Robbins motivation course gets more exiting each year. |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1517 |
Has he eaten today |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1518 |
Looks like you got a huge tongue-lashing... |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1519 |
It's Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. Pets are next week. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1520 |
I didn't say bring me 'a' slimy creature, I said bring me 'that' slimy creature - Boswell, in sales. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1521 |
Not quite what I meant by scaling down... |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1522 |
And you get two lunch breaks per month. |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1523 |
I was talking about the programming language. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1524 |
So that's your solution to the rodent problem? |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1525 |
Great, now I'm really rattled. |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1526 |
I said that I need to add a comma, not an anaconda. |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1527 |
Uh-oh. Bring-Your-Serpent-To-Work Day is tomorrow. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1528 |
How's the Anaconda merger going? |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1529 |
We've hit our scales target this time, boss |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1530 |
Have either of you seen the boss today? |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1531 |
I thought I asked for a shark. |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1532 |
Are you sssssserious? |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1533 |
You found it in the Daycare Center? |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1534 |
No snacks on the trading floor! |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1535 |
Well that would explain why our rat infestation mysteriously solved itself last week. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1536 |
Those guys in Accounting are such snak... Oh hey Bob! |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1537 |
It's the legal departments outreach program. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1538 |
We’ve decided to wait on the snake—we’re still trying to figure out what to do with the two giraffes and the whale. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1539 |
The computer reports aren't ready, because he ate the mouse? |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1540 |
We need you to stop that rattling. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1541 |
You guys leaving for lunch already? |
1.2600 |
0.05966 |
100 |
82 |
10 |
8 |
1542 |
That's not the kind of boa I had in mind for the stag party. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1543 |
OK, if anyone votes "no" for my proposal, then let loose the snake. Got it? |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1544 |
Yes, this letter did ask you to consider a COBRA coverage plan. |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1545 |
I see you found the viper in our midst. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1546 |
I meant a plumber's snake - for the restroom. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1547 |
Not another intern for the legal department. |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1548 |
Gee Whiz, I knew the computer had a virus, but the worm...? |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1549 |
Get rid of that; the auditors are here. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1550 |
I said, "caption contest", not "capture contest" ! |
1.2600 |
0.05966 |
100 |
82 |
10 |
8 |
1551 |
What part of ‘Go to Nobu and get the nigiri’ didn’t you understand? |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1552 |
Gentlemen, meet our new art critic. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1553 |
'Now that he has downsized the employee benefits department, does he have room for some auditors?' |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1554 |
Not really what I had in mind when I asked for new ways to squeeze the budget. |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1555 |
Not an appropriate mascot for this firm. |
1.2600 |
0.05966 |
100 |
82 |
10 |
8 |
1556 |
Actually, I ordered a medium rare STEAK for lunch. |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1557 |
quick— now put it in Jerry's coffee mug before he comes back |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1558 |
Can it scent inefficiencies? |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1559 |
Well, no one's gonna steal your sushi from the fridge. |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1560 |
Oh, good. I see you've already met our new CEO. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1561 |
No, you're right. I did ask for unagi. |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1562 |
We've heard you can turn this into oil and sell it. |
1.2600 |
0.05966 |
100 |
82 |
10 |
8 |
1563 |
We will continue to scale down the workforce |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1564 |
Our return policy is getting out of control! |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1565 |
You're gonna need a bigger apple. |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1566 |
I said ASAP! |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1567 |
No, I meant the active COBRA insurance files! |
1.2600 |
0.05966 |
100 |
82 |
10 |
8 |
1568 |
So, that is the new HR director? |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1569 |
There has got to be a slicker way to steal electricity. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1570 |
If anyone asks, she’s our mascot, not our retirement plan. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1571 |
The IT guy has said "No" to Apple, but I'm temped to try just one. |
1.2600 |
0.06133 |
100 |
83 |
8 |
9 |
1572 |
Excuse me, but is that a Service Boa Constrictor? |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1573 |
Memo from Accounting: no more bartering. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1574 |
Looks like we hired a new attorney |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1575 |
Sorry, 'Garden of Eden' is down the hall |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1576 |
I said bring me the corporate SEAL. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1577 |
I didn't think he would literally be a snake. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1578 |
He's the new Director of Unhuman Resources. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1579 |
The mouse is in the storage room. |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1580 |
Guys, guys, guys... it's "Bring-Your-Snake-to-Work-THURSDAYS, " not Wednesdays. |
1.2600 |
0.05966 |
100 |
82 |
10 |
8 |
1581 |
It's smaller than I thought it would be. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1582 |
Thought you could slide in late again unnoticed? |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1583 |
Hmm, Just put it in the lunch room for now |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1584 |
Route 1 to exit 22, sign for Eden. When you get to the orchard, ask the gardener' wife to sign for it. |
1.2574 |
0.05387 |
101 |
80 |
16 |
5 |
1585 |
No, no, no guys... I said we need a new new app, not asp! |
1.2574 |
0.05743 |
101 |
82 |
12 |
7 |
1586 |
I didn't realize we were so under water. |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1587 |
Just a couple of early birds with the proverbial worm, I imagine. |
1.2551 |
0.04878 |
98 |
75 |
21 |
2 |
1588 |
Did you remember the extra wasabi? |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1589 |
Hey boss, it turns out that guy wasn't a rat. He was a snake! |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1590 |
The new campaign director's office is straight ahead. |
1.2551 |
0.06035 |
98 |
81 |
9 |
8 |
1591 |
I heard that you guys were supporting Trump! |
1.2551 |
0.06035 |
98 |
81 |
9 |
8 |
1592 |
Tell me you locked down the Ness account. |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1593 |
since we started Bring your pet to work day.we've lost 2 dags,one cat and 3 chickens |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1594 |
No, I wanted you to pick up a FEATHER boa for my wife's birthday |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1595 |
Thanks for helping our new attorney find his desk. |
1.2551 |
0.05292 |
98 |
77 |
17 |
4 |
1596 |
That's a moray, alright. |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1597 |
Internal audit here again? |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1598 |
I take it that no one has accepted HR's severance package offer? |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1599 |
We should have let Barney go when he was just a snake in the grass. |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1600 |
So are the plumbing problems getting worse? |
1.2551 |
0.05292 |
98 |
77 |
17 |
4 |
1601 |
Who ordered the Unagi? |
1.2551 |
0.05858 |
98 |
80 |
11 |
7 |
1602 |
I said get me a big steak for lunch. |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1603 |
You idiots. This is not the kind of snake I requested for clearing the plumbing in the bathroom. |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1604 |
Check in with h.r. about special dietary needs. |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1605 |
No, I said to bring Morrie to the meeting. |
1.2551 |
0.04878 |
98 |
75 |
21 |
2 |
1606 |
'You captured Donald Trump?" |
1.2551 |
0.06374 |
98 |
83 |
5 |
10 |
1607 |
Thanks for the Amazon gift card. |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1608 |
I said, buy a plumbing snake! |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1609 |
The lawyers said no to show-and-tell Tuesdays. |
1.2551 |
0.06035 |
98 |
81 |
9 |
8 |
1610 |
As you requested, we've hired a new broker who better reflects company values. |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1611 |
No, no! I said, "bring me a Steak sandwich!" |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1612 |
The memo said 'snacks' in the breakroom... |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1613 |
Whoa, whoa! I said you could bring a SNACK to the meeting... |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1614 |
Did we run out of snake oil again? |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1615 |
It's not about the idea, but how you scale it. |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1616 |
Wait...isn't today pizza day? |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1617 |
Your mistake was looking for a mole. |
1.2551 |
0.05858 |
98 |
80 |
11 |
7 |
1618 |
Is it Bring Your Snake to Work Day again? |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1619 |
Let's put him in the cubicle next to the lab rats. |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1620 |
Guys, I said "STEAK" sandwich! |
1.2551 |
0.05858 |
98 |
80 |
11 |
7 |
1621 |
No, no, no. I said "Bring me the deal, not the eel." |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1622 |
in the spirit of Roger Ailes: "Boys, it's not the size of your snake, it's how you leverage it." |
1.2551 |
0.05292 |
98 |
77 |
17 |
4 |
1623 |
Where's Barb? I thought I said stakeholders. |
1.2551 |
0.04878 |
98 |
75 |
21 |
2 |
1624 |
I hope you brought enough A-1 Snake Sauce this time. |
1.2551 |
0.05292 |
98 |
77 |
17 |
4 |
1625 |
That's not what I meant when I said we needed to get Python into our IT department. |
1.2551 |
0.05676 |
98 |
79 |
13 |
6 |
1626 |
I think you misunderstood me, I said this company needs a new feel |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1627 |
So now we're against nepotism? |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1628 |
How long before the lobby aquarium is fixed? |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1629 |
No! I said we need to put the BRAKES on over-spending! |
1.2551 |
0.05487 |
98 |
78 |
15 |
5 |
1630 |
I see Jones wasn't the only snake in the office. |
1.2551 |
0.05089 |
98 |
76 |
19 |
3 |
1631 |
Says here we were expecting a pair of these things... |
1.2525 |
0.04836 |
99 |
76 |
21 |
2 |
1632 |
Comfort viper? |
1.2525 |
0.05245 |
99 |
78 |
17 |
4 |
1633 |
Sorry, but my CPR certification just expired about 5 minutes ago. |
1.2525 |
0.05438 |
99 |
79 |
15 |
5 |
1634 |
Put him in the non-gender bathroom until he sheds... |
1.2525 |
0.05624 |
99 |
80 |
13 |
6 |
1635 |
No, I ordered the eel. |
1.2525 |
0.05044 |
99 |
77 |
19 |
3 |
1636 |
The lawyer is here. |
1.2525 |
0.05438 |
99 |
79 |
15 |
5 |
1637 |
Did he abbreviate "Bank of America" again? |
1.2525 |
0.05624 |
99 |
80 |
13 |
6 |
1638 |
Anything reptilian goes to the government relations department. |
1.2525 |
0.05044 |
99 |
77 |
19 |
3 |
1639 |
If it runs third-party, we're in trouble. |
1.2525 |
0.05624 |
99 |
80 |
13 |
6 |
1640 |
I think you guys are taking this fresh sushi kick too far. |
1.2525 |
0.05044 |
99 |
77 |
19 |
3 |
1641 |
" I see you've gone quite far back in the archives ". |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1642 |
Didn't you get the email? 'Take-your-boa-constrictor-to-work' day is TOMORROW! |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1643 |
I am having second thoughts about this zoo merger. |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1644 |
They're downsizing the koi pond too? |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1645 |
Just let him down I am going to get rid of the Mole in this office once and for all. |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1646 |
Donald said he caught it with a paper clip. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1647 |
I don't think that's what he meant by 'find the snake in the office' |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1648 |
And I thought our last boss was venomous. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1649 |
No no. I asked you to retrieve EEL - the Employee Evaluation List |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1650 |
I said " a large pie, Tom" |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1651 |
Don't look at me. I ordered a jumbo milk shake. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1652 |
Talk about cold-blooded in the workplace! |
1.2474 |
0.04642 |
97 |
74 |
22 |
1 |
1653 |
He'll never wiggle out of this one. He hasn't got a let to stand on. |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1654 |
...but we ordered it WITH the bun. |
1.2474 |
0.05868 |
97 |
80 |
10 |
7 |
1655 |
Take him down to Legal Affairs, he's the new hire. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1656 |
You forgot the wasabi again, didn't you? |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1657 |
I told you their sushi was fresh |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1658 |
Snail mail or Email only. No compromise. Take the eel back. |
1.2474 |
0.05868 |
97 |
80 |
10 |
7 |
1659 |
Old Nessie is having trouble at home. Told him he could crash with us until he finds his feet. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1660 |
So that's what was clogging the copier ! |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1661 |
OK, let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1662 |
They'll be an opening for partner I guess |
1.2474 |
0.04867 |
97 |
75 |
20 |
2 |
1663 |
Darrin, the clients are waiting for you!! Where's Mr. Tate? |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1664 |
It's for the corporate retreat--we're playing 'Snakes and Ladders' to see who gets promoted. |
1.2474 |
0.06048 |
97 |
81 |
8 |
8 |
1665 |
We already jumped the shark. |
1.2474 |
0.04642 |
97 |
74 |
22 |
1 |
1666 |
Well, that will make a "striking" powerpoint presentation. |
1.2474 |
0.04867 |
97 |
75 |
20 |
2 |
1667 |
I see your 10:00 o'clock has arrived! |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1668 |
Good morning Sir. After you're finished in Hair and Makeup, we have your coffee and Mr. Priebus waiting for you in your office. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1669 |
Perfect timing. He just went in the third stall. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1670 |
After losing the bet, I thought we agreed I'd wear a feather boa around my neck? |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1671 |
Great work. Now put it in Johnson's cubicle. If he quits before noon, you'll get his job. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1672 |
What do you mean this is the new Epi-Pen? |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1673 |
Sir, he said to pick the Apple but we only have PCs. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1674 |
Thanksss for the promotion bossss |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1675 |
Uhm, guys, thats not sushi. |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1676 |
Mr. Wiggles, I presume. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1677 |
No need to tell security about the office party. |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1678 |
Paging Dr. Freud. |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1679 |
The corporate lawyer is needed in conference room 4. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1680 |
I appreciate the accounting department's team spirit, but let's call some real plumbers. |
1.2474 |
0.04867 |
97 |
75 |
20 |
2 |
1681 |
I specifically asked for a ladder. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1682 |
Sushi for lunch? |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1683 |
We need to revisit the company's Casual Friday policy. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1684 |
Oh my god, NO! I said a giant cake, not a giant snake. |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1685 |
Remember, company policy forbids long lunches... |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1686 |
Must I remind you, that we have a no-gift policy. |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1687 |
No, damn it, I told you to haul MOREY into the office. |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1688 |
'Sorry,fellas -- Bring-your-pet-to-work-day is tomorrow. |
1.2474 |
0.04642 |
97 |
74 |
22 |
1 |
1689 |
No," I said ,"Get the accountant,Anna Conda! |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1690 |
The new lawyer joke is here. |
1.2474 |
0.04867 |
97 |
75 |
20 |
2 |
1691 |
Let's try to squeeze our client. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1692 |
I think your pitch is too aggressive. |
1.2474 |
0.04642 |
97 |
74 |
22 |
1 |
1693 |
Loch Ness is old news |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1694 |
Rats! |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1695 |
Obviously you didn't bother to read the memo about what not to bring to the meeting. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1696 |
I knew Johnson was a snake in the grass! |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1697 |
Get Mr. Trump to make-up right away. He looks awful! |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1698 |
I did say we need to frighten the competition. |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1699 |
He's fired, and exactly how did he sexually harass Ms. Gordy? |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1700 |
Your replacement sir! |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1701 |
Send the survivors to Conference Room B. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1702 |
People just don’t appreciate a good practical joke anymore. |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1703 |
I'm not sure this is what she meant by "animating your data presentation". |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1704 |
When I said get that snake out of here I meant the lawyer... Go put Leon back in his office... |
1.2474 |
0.05868 |
97 |
80 |
10 |
7 |
1705 |
We've got to hire a new cleaning lady. |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1706 |
I think that's the adder they have been looking for in accounting. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1707 |
That is not an excuse for not wearing your jackets in the office. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1708 |
Is that the new applicant for legal? |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1709 |
I wrote that I wanted a Poisson distribution... |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1710 |
Head straight to compliance. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1711 |
He'll be finished with Jeff in time for the board meeting. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1712 |
It's about time someone got their hands on that snake in accounting. |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1713 |
We'll make him "of counsel". |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1714 |
Well, I guess she's better than Trump... |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1715 |
First office on the left, for the New Yorker cartoonist. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1716 |
I always heard your boss could be a real snake. |
1.2474 |
0.05682 |
97 |
79 |
12 |
6 |
1717 |
Ummm, legal is on the second floor. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1718 |
team meeting in 5, lose the fish |
1.2474 |
0.04867 |
97 |
75 |
20 |
2 |
1719 |
Ah, yes. Deliver the snake to the office of the Vice President-who-must-not-be-named. |
1.2474 |
0.05490 |
97 |
78 |
14 |
5 |
1720 |
Hey guys, "Tread Upon" claims go to the fourth floor. |
1.2474 |
0.05083 |
97 |
76 |
18 |
3 |
1721 |
Updating Python again? |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1722 |
This is not what I meant when I said we need to shake up our Monday morning meetings |
1.2449 |
0.05242 |
98 |
78 |
16 |
4 |
1723 |
When I said, "Fresh Sushi", this was NOT what I had in mind. |
1.2449 |
0.04824 |
98 |
76 |
20 |
2 |
1724 |
Well, you can tell the boss we have a message for him too. |
1.2449 |
0.05037 |
98 |
77 |
18 |
3 |
1725 |
Don't tell me, he ate another accountant. Well, pull him out and file a worker's comp claim. |
1.2449 |
0.05629 |
98 |
80 |
12 |
6 |
1726 |
Com'on, guys. It's the new guy's first day. |
1.2449 |
0.05629 |
98 |
80 |
12 |
6 |
1727 |
We lost another one to team-building. |
1.2449 |
0.05439 |
98 |
79 |
14 |
5 |
1728 |
Recruiting poached from Amazon as requested sir |
1.2449 |
0.05991 |
98 |
82 |
8 |
8 |
1729 |
You make a wonderful couple, but this "bring-your-pet-to-work-day" has gone too far. |
1.2449 |
0.05813 |
98 |
81 |
10 |
7 |
1730 |
No, I ordered the pastrami. |
1.2449 |
0.05037 |
98 |
77 |
18 |
3 |
1731 |
Bold thinking, boys, but a hundred and twelve batteries? |
1.2449 |
0.05242 |
98 |
78 |
16 |
4 |
1732 |
Yee Haa! Take-out sashimi for the whole office. |
1.2449 |
0.05629 |
98 |
80 |
12 |
6 |
1733 |
That won't work. Only a live snake can apply for the CFO position. |
1.2449 |
0.05629 |
98 |
80 |
12 |
6 |
1734 |
Bring Your Pet to Work Day is tomorrow. |
1.2449 |
0.05037 |
98 |
77 |
18 |
3 |
1735 |
It's okay, Morrie. I felt like a fish out of water my first day, too. |
1.2449 |
0.05037 |
98 |
77 |
18 |
3 |
1736 |
You'll be surprised at which of you interns is being kept on. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1737 |
The paper jam is over there. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1738 |
Guys, Frank brought in sushi for last week's staff meeting. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1739 |
Great, sushi Friday! See you in the break room. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1740 |
He's looking for Apple's headquarters. |
1.2421 |
0.05933 |
95 |
79 |
9 |
7 |
1741 |
Fine. One more week, but not in my office. |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1742 |
Bring me one that can stand on its own two feet. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1743 |
I think he asked if you wanted to sell your stake in the company. |
1.2421 |
0.05933 |
95 |
79 |
9 |
7 |
1744 |
This isn't what the boss mean by 'building a better mousetrap." |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1745 |
Oh, I'd heard a new CEO was being brought in. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1746 |
So you're representing Cobra, Corral & King? |
1.2421 |
0.04418 |
95 |
72 |
23 |
0 |
1747 |
Our research indicates the market wants more snake oil. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1748 |
Yes, Mr. Chairman. Right away, sir. |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1749 |
We didn't literally mean we need our new CEO to be a snake. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1750 |
Who knew snake oil would boom again. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1751 |
They don't call it The Big Apple for nothing! |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1752 |
Throw him in the executive office. That place is a viper pit. |
1.2421 |
0.04665 |
95 |
73 |
21 |
1 |
1753 |
We don't let the C.E.O. out of his cage until after lunch. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1754 |
Welcome, Sir. It's always nice to meet a new CEO. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1755 |
I see the deli's expanded their menu. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1756 |
Is that our new tort expert? |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1757 |
Boss says to get The Donald into hair and makeup right now! |
1.2421 |
0.05933 |
95 |
79 |
9 |
7 |
1758 |
I asked for somebody who knows [underline knows] Python. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1759 |
When I said "We need to scale up the business", this isn't what I meant. |
1.2421 |
0.04899 |
95 |
74 |
19 |
2 |
1760 |
Corner office... |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1761 |
Good morning gentlemen, you can show Jake to his new office in sales. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1762 |
Your final interview is with Mr. Mongoose. |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1763 |
You've been sss-served. |
1.2421 |
0.06119 |
95 |
80 |
7 |
8 |
1764 |
No, you got it wrong. The Donald said, "Bring in Sir Pence for an interview." |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1765 |
Don't forget to recycle the giant, fake can of nuts. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1766 |
Um, the boss sent you out to get new 'wipers.' |
1.2421 |
0.04899 |
95 |
74 |
19 |
2 |
1767 |
Your right. He IS our last best American hope for this year's Presidential election! |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1768 |
Put him in Accounts Receivable. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1769 |
Meet our new expert on sliding scales. |
1.2421 |
0.04665 |
95 |
73 |
21 |
1 |
1770 |
He looks hungry, stick him in the manager’s office. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1771 |
Is it Take-Your-Anaconda-To-Work-Day already? |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1772 |
And tell the zoo they get their snake back when we get paid in cash. |
1.2421 |
0.04899 |
95 |
74 |
19 |
2 |
1773 |
Quick! Get Stanley back to research and development immediately! |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1774 |
So THAT'S why they put mice in the vending machine. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1775 |
Now, that's an aggressive choice. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1776 |
I don't care if he's exhausted from leading the forked-tongue strategy. It's working and we need to keep scaling up. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1777 |
Did he pass the background check? |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1778 |
Do you think you can just slither in here any time you feel like it? |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1779 |
We need to narrow down the applicants somehow. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1780 |
This place is officially a rat trap. |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1781 |
It does seem you have exposed a snake in our midst, but I was speaking metaphorically. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1782 |
That's one idea that I DON'T think should be outside the box! |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1783 |
Take him to our Legal Department ! |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1784 |
If I wanted you to bring me a politician, I would have asked for one. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1785 |
This is not an ad for a civil serpent? |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1786 |
Well, the interns listened, I did order unagi. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1787 |
Sales meeting over? |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1788 |
I told you guys to get the boss a big "Cake" for his birthday. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1789 |
The audit is in the conference room. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1790 |
Good - maybe now Edwards will get out of that rabbit's costume and get back to work. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1791 |
Collections? To the right. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1792 |
If that's for me, you two are lousy at surprises. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1793 |
I'll miss the Finance Department. |
1.2421 |
0.05933 |
95 |
79 |
9 |
7 |
1794 |
Third party candidate, sure, why not. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1795 |
I've had it with these motherf@$!$@ snakes on my motherf@%#!*# campaign. |
1.2421 |
0.05933 |
95 |
79 |
9 |
7 |
1796 |
Now remember, don't come in until you hear me say, "My anaconda don't want none unless you got funds, hun." |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1797 |
No more catching Pokémon on company time. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1798 |
Says here he's the new head of HR. I'd say it's time to update that LinkedIn profile. |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1799 |
Yes,I said fresh sushi,but.... |
1.2421 |
0.04665 |
95 |
73 |
21 |
1 |
1800 |
Meet Wanda. The property management's answer to rising pest control costs. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1801 |
What is the genesis of this? |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1802 |
You guys scared me... I thought that was my ex-wife's lawyer! |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1803 |
I know a good salesman when I see one. Let's interview in conference Room A. |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1804 |
No one beats you guys when it comes to novel birthday cakes. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1805 |
Put him in forbidden fruit sales |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1806 |
You guys really need to learn to take things less literally. |
1.2421 |
0.04665 |
95 |
73 |
21 |
1 |
1807 |
The snake we need is for the clogged drain! |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1808 |
Now, squeeze more out of our customers. |
1.2421 |
0.04899 |
95 |
74 |
19 |
2 |
1809 |
Where do you want us to loch Nessie? |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1810 |
We only allow service snakes in this office. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1811 |
I said a pithy presentation, not a python presentation. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1812 |
Put that thing down and find out where our interns disappeared to! |
1.2421 |
0.04665 |
95 |
73 |
21 |
1 |
1813 |
Not what I had in mind when I said we'd strangle the competition... |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1814 |
Tempting! |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1815 |
Pet Day problem finito, Boss. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1816 |
These tax codes are getting harder and harder to understand. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1817 |
Wait! Did it get a chance to bite Mallory? |
1.2421 |
0.04665 |
95 |
73 |
21 |
1 |
1818 |
Under "S" for "snake" with a cross reference under "R" for "reptile." |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1819 |
What's that guy's name in the Mail Room? |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1820 |
By the snake, I meant Jim... |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1821 |
Try to be more subtle. The interns' parents are starting to ask questions. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1822 |
That goes to the arbitration room. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1823 |
Bring Your Pet to Work Day is NEXT Friday. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1824 |
Oh, I see you got the memo. |
1.2421 |
0.04665 |
95 |
73 |
21 |
1 |
1825 |
Umm, we need to reconsider "Bring Your Pet to Work Day" |
1.2421 |
0.04899 |
95 |
74 |
19 |
2 |
1826 |
On second thought, I'm not comfortable working in Python. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1827 |
This was sent from a dissatisfied customer who accused us of "speaking with a forked tongue" |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1828 |
Big plumbing problem? |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1829 |
Fairly sure that's not what the boss meant when she told you guys to think outside the box. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1830 |
Yes, I know he's a snake; that's why he was promoted. Take him up to his new top floor office. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1831 |
Sushi for Today's Lunch & Learn |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1832 |
To be clear, your termination was not a result of you refusing to identify with a gender. |
1.2421 |
0.05741 |
95 |
78 |
11 |
6 |
1833 |
Gentlemen, I think the Monday sushi special has run its course. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1834 |
That thing doesn't belong here! Take it right up to the executive suite. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1835 |
I called corporate. Just put him in the grass. |
1.2421 |
0.04899 |
95 |
74 |
19 |
2 |
1836 |
I asked you to pick up a birthday CAKE. |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1837 |
I see the diversity training is working. |
1.2421 |
0.05122 |
95 |
75 |
17 |
3 |
1838 |
Even if he is well-mannered, you still should have spell checked the part about "qualified civil servants." |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1839 |
I said : "Bring in a big deal"! |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1840 |
Jim and Steve felt it necessary to resort to a visual aid to demonstrate their level of trust in the team leader. |
1.2421 |
0.05337 |
95 |
76 |
15 |
4 |
1841 |
But I asked for a lawyer! |
1.2421 |
0.05542 |
95 |
77 |
13 |
5 |
1842 |
Sales is down the hallway on your left |
1.2396 |
0.05075 |
96 |
76 |
17 |
3 |
1843 |
Believe me guys, I am certain that he said "Bring me a "DEAL" that I can't refuse." |
1.2396 |
0.05490 |
96 |
78 |
13 |
5 |
1844 |
Not another campaign director! |
1.2360 |
0.05767 |
89 |
73 |
11 |
5 |
1845 |
I said "turpentine!" |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1846 |
This is Miss Hissy from the secretarial pool. |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1847 |
Do not hire that sorcerer again for office parties. |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1848 |
Don't be such an asp about it. |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1849 |
Bring your eel to work was last week |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1850 |
I came to sign the deal, not an eel. |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1851 |
Our new Vice-President of Acquisitions--Monty Something. |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1852 |
Oh no, not another 'power lunch' |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1853 |
I said I plan to tell the shareholders this afternoon that I have the largest stake in this company. |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1854 |
We're scaling down our business |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1855 |
Is that one of those Pokemon thingies? |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1856 |
I see you've found the problem! |
1.2340 |
0.05745 |
94 |
78 |
10 |
6 |
1857 |
That must be the new customer service manager. |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1858 |
Are you sure he's the best stock picker you can find for our hedge fund? |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1859 |
Is he friendly? |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1860 |
I'm not sure performing 'Anaconda' is the best choice for the office talent show. |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1861 |
No one else is voting Trump? |
1.2340 |
0.05745 |
94 |
78 |
10 |
6 |
1862 |
Impressive. Does your congregation speak in tongues as well? |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1863 |
Why the long snake? |
1.2340 |
0.05941 |
94 |
79 |
8 |
7 |
1864 |
Bring him straight to the debate room. |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1865 |
Quick, get Mr. Trump into his office before the press see him. |
1.2340 |
0.05745 |
94 |
78 |
10 |
6 |
1866 |
The boss says his baby goat is missing. |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1867 |
That's for his retirement party? I would have chosen a barracuda! |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1868 |
Bring your boa to work Friday is it? |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1869 |
I wondered how they were going to break up the banks. |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1870 |
"He gets the corner office". |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1871 |
What do you mean this is part of our ADA compliance program? |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1872 |
Just flush it down the toilet |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1873 |
I recommend binding arbitration. |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1874 |
What did I say about pets at work. |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1875 |
'Go home snake, you're drunk.' |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1876 |
We've combined our pest control and security budgets. Besides, I'm allergic to cats. |
1.2340 |
0.04884 |
94 |
74 |
18 |
2 |
1877 |
...and human resources thought we were exaggerating. |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1878 |
Is it customer service training day already? |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1879 |
Sticking your tongue out won't make us change our minds about laying you off. |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1880 |
Just tell him we'll forward his resume to HR, and they will get back to him. |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1881 |
That looks like a white-fanged creature. This purchase order specifies Bluetooth. |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1882 |
He wasn't being politically correct. He ate the Boss. |
1.2340 |
0.05745 |
94 |
78 |
10 |
6 |
1883 |
This is the last time I come into work on Saturday. |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1884 |
It's his current choice to head up his campaign! |
1.2340 |
0.05745 |
94 |
78 |
10 |
6 |
1885 |
I see the new VP speaks with forked tongue, Kemosaba! |
1.2340 |
0.05941 |
94 |
79 |
8 |
7 |
1886 |
Here are the Senator's revised talking points. |
1.2340 |
0.04884 |
94 |
74 |
18 |
2 |
1887 |
How in the Sam Hill could you possibly misunderstand "Assign one of the interns to feed the snake"? |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1888 |
The boss says he's found a new way to scare off competition. |
1.2340 |
0.04884 |
94 |
74 |
18 |
2 |
1889 |
There's one in the men's room too. |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1890 |
You guys didn't get the memo? |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1891 |
That's not what I meant by running a snake through the pipes. |
1.2340 |
0.05113 |
94 |
75 |
16 |
3 |
1892 |
We think it originally belonged to Eve. |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1893 |
Good work men! I thought you'd find it on Hillary's server. |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1894 |
Is that a female snake? The board says the next snake must be female. |
1.2340 |
0.05542 |
94 |
77 |
12 |
5 |
1895 |
I asked you to bring me a STEAK. |
1.2340 |
0.05745 |
94 |
78 |
10 |
6 |
1896 |
No,I said I wanted to see Beau Strichter. He's in accounting. |
1.2316 |
0.05281 |
95 |
77 |
14 |
4 |
1897 |
Now we may be able to get rid of all those mice. |
1.2316 |
0.05065 |
95 |
76 |
16 |
3 |
1898 |
....first time I've ever seen a winner of the primaries looking THIS bad.... |
1.2316 |
0.05689 |
95 |
79 |
10 |
6 |
1899 |
Secret Santa is less fun since we let the lawyers in. |
1.2316 |
0.05689 |
95 |
79 |
10 |
6 |
1900 |
No! I asked for a large steak. |
1.2316 |
0.05065 |
95 |
76 |
16 |
3 |
1901 |
This must be the applicant from the monster posting. |
1.2316 |
0.05689 |
95 |
79 |
10 |
6 |
1902 |
What did I tell you guys about bartering? |
1.2316 |
0.04838 |
95 |
75 |
18 |
2 |
1903 |
Obviously, you don't understand the 'Bring your Pet to work day' concept. |
1.2316 |
0.04601 |
95 |
74 |
20 |
1 |
1904 |
I know it works for Loch Ness, but surely there's a better way to raise our profile. |
1.2316 |
0.05489 |
95 |
78 |
12 |
5 |
1905 |
We may have solved the mystery of the disappearance of that clerical in cubical 16. |
1.2316 |
0.05281 |
95 |
77 |
14 |
4 |
1906 |
Just make sure Legal doesn't see it. |
1.2316 |
0.05489 |
95 |
78 |
12 |
5 |
1907 |
The ol' snake in the can gag! You guys in Creative crack me up |
1.2316 |
0.05489 |
95 |
78 |
12 |
5 |
1908 |
YOU THE GUY WITH THE MOUSE PROBLEM ? |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1909 |
We thought an office pet would improve morale. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1910 |
There has to be a better way to get rid of our rat problem. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1911 |
The new VP! Get him a rock in the sun -- quick! |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1912 |
The basilisk gets Manafort's old office. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1913 |
Thanks, men. It's the mascot for our new slogan: "the thrill of victory, the agony of no feet." |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1914 |
Another executive at Fox bit the dust. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1915 |
Be gentle with him. He may have made a mistake or two, but he's been a loyal employee. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1916 |
So you're taking him to Legal? |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
1917 |
No, i said find the big fissure in the corporate firewall. |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1918 |
Will she play nice with the furry ones? |
1.2283 |
0.04400 |
92 |
71 |
21 |
0 |
1919 |
Is this his new political advisor or was it just fired? |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
1920 |
We found him in the office having lunch with Adam and Eve. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1921 |
I know we are in the business of selling snake oil, but not the whole snake. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1922 |
I said "on accounta" not anaconda. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1923 |
Our new mascot? |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1924 |
No, sir, I’ve never been tempted. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1925 |
Welcome to the Marketing Department! We were all super impressed with your Garden of Eden campaign. |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
1926 |
A serpent? Not cold-blooded enough for our campaign. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1927 |
I always get nervous when our lawyer visits. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1928 |
I heard there was a snake in the boardroom. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1929 |
This isn’t what I meant when I said we need more backbone |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1930 |
We discontinued "Show and Tell" around the water cooler. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1931 |
I see your candidate really does speak with a forked tongue. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1932 |
You're up to something fishy. I can smell it. But your plan is eel-conceived. |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1933 |
Couldn't hold your licker last night, huh fellas? |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1934 |
I'm pretty sure Mr. Hutchins wanted a rare "steak", guys. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1935 |
I know I said fresh shushi for our meeting, just not that fresh. |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
1936 |
Try taking it to "Lost and Found. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1937 |
Did anyone order an investment banker?? |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1938 |
I'd help you carry that but I just washed my hands. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1939 |
Hasn't Cooper finished clearing out his cubicle yet? |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1940 |
Have you seen the CEO's capybara? |
1.2283 |
0.06007 |
92 |
78 |
7 |
7 |
1941 |
Too late, the inspectors have left. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1942 |
It's confirmed. The cage won't be here before tomorrow. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1943 |
Well, I don't care if it *is* casual Friday. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1944 |
Another campaign shakeup? |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1945 |
Tim's requested a treadmill desk wide enough for slithering. |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1946 |
Our sustainable toilet is clogged. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1947 |
Diversity hire... |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1948 |
Whose turn is it to feed the company mascot? |
1.2283 |
0.04663 |
92 |
72 |
19 |
1 |
1949 |
We're going to have to replace all of the mice again. |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
1950 |
Our lizard will outdo their gecco. |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
1951 |
Who's getting severed today? |
1.2283 |
0.04663 |
92 |
72 |
19 |
1 |
1952 |
I thought we did away with hazing. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1953 |
On behalf of Fred & the team, although he still considers you friends and hopes your snake recovers, he finds your practical joke ill-timed and extremely unprofessional. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1954 |
Boys! Reminder of how it would come across in a deposition transcript: 'The guys constantly took their giant snake out to proudly parade it around the workplace.' |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1955 |
The President would like this one released along the Arizona border. |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1956 |
I'm assuming you've filled out form ES5B for your emotional support pet. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1957 |
So this is your big idea to squeeze more money out of our investors!? |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1958 |
If only he wasn't so reptilian, even he could survive these allegations. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1959 |
I meant for you to take Speaking With A Forked Tongue , figuratively |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
1960 |
Boys, I already told you we have a rule against political canvassing in the office |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1961 |
Make sure Inhuman Resources signs off on his suspension. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1962 |
Impressive. But I still don't think the media are going to buy a story about an e-mail eating snake. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1963 |
Take it to marketing on the fourth floor; they think they're so charming. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1964 |
That is not what we meant by extreme vetting. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1965 |
I said the vending machine needed more snacks! |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1966 |
Pet day is next week. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1967 |
No thanks. I'm sick of sushi. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1968 |
Wow! I always thought that was just another conspiracy theory. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1969 |
Hey, nobody told me that we could use props in our presentation! |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1970 |
Is that a snake under your arm, or are you happy to see me? |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1971 |
I said we needed a civil servant, not a sea serpent! |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1972 |
Another downsizing? |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1973 |
... pens, paper clips, staples, ASAP. Not ASP! |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1974 |
Time to show him the door. None of his marketing campaigns ever had legs. |
1.2283 |
0.04663 |
92 |
72 |
19 |
1 |
1975 |
We may not have big hands, but we've got this. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1976 |
He got in on an H1B visa. We couldn’t find anyone who could handle an Apple as well as he can. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1977 |
"The emergency defibrillator is down the hall on your left". |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1978 |
Oh my, that app sure went wrong. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1979 |
Boss says we'll rethink the Amazon project. |
1.2283 |
0.04663 |
92 |
72 |
19 |
1 |
1980 |
I said an electable heel ! |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1981 |
That's not what I had in mind when I asked for sushi for the whole group. |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1982 |
They ran out of therapy dogs, but I have a feeling she'll 'boost' office morale. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1983 |
Take him back; this campaign has enough forked tongues. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1984 |
You finally caught Julian Assange? |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1985 |
Wait. What are the details of the Early Retirement package again? |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1986 |
Put it in the kitchen. It should cut down on "extra long" coffee breaks. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1987 |
Today's computer viruses are at a whole new level. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1988 |
He speaks with forked tongue, but drunk is drunk! |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1989 |
Pet-friendly workplaces are shown to have a significant impact on employee satisfaction. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1990 |
Look I said Trump polls as a snake-oil salesman, but I didn't say we were doing live testing! |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1991 |
Oh I forgot, it's take your pet to work day. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1992 |
Slytherins, room 3. |
1.2283 |
0.04663 |
92 |
72 |
19 |
1 |
1993 |
Sorry guys, the CEO has changed his mind. Turns out a giant leech is not a good symbol for a financial services company. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
1994 |
It doesn't take a trade school graduate to know what a plumber's snake is ! |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1995 |
Don't get rid of it until we find Throckmorton. |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
1996 |
Yes, bring him to internal audit with the others. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1997 |
Change of plans; We're going to sell crude oil instead. |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
1998 |
Tongue lashing needed in accounting. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
1999 |
Now it's time to put the squeeze on marketing. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
2000 |
We caught him smoking in the Men's Room. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2001 |
They did say the new intern was going to be a lot to handle... |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2002 |
Sushi prep - room 4 |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2003 |
Did you catch him going door-to-door again? |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
2004 |
The toilet backed up again! |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
2005 |
Who are we suing? |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
2006 |
That's not what I meant when I asked you to find the office rat. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2007 |
Clearly you two aren't plumbers. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2008 |
Sheesh! I thought when the boss wrote 'eel-mail' it was just a misprint! |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
2009 |
No! You give him mouth to mouth resuscitation. |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
2010 |
Oh, and we're also going to need the Yeti, Loch Ness, and Sasquatch accounts as soon as you can wrangle them. |
1.2283 |
0.05595 |
92 |
76 |
11 |
5 |
2011 |
Good news. The new guy in legal says he can also fix the plumbing. |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
2012 |
When I said "we'll get that snake" I didn't mean it literally! I was talking about Donaldson! |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2013 |
I know this office is a zoo, but now you're being silly. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2014 |
So that's our our new campaign manager. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2015 |
Welcome to the million dollar sales team - your terrarium's on the left. |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
2016 |
I told you to use Python to build the application...not to use a python! |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2017 |
So you guys are presenting on COBRA? |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
2018 |
Don't let the media see that. They already think we sell snake oil. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2019 |
No question, this will dissuade the sweet children from entering the water fountain. |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
2020 |
First it's the wolf of wall st., now its the snake of silicon valley? |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2021 |
No, I told you to order enough STEAK for everyone in the office. |
1.2283 |
0.05804 |
92 |
77 |
9 |
6 |
2022 |
Molting again are we, Ed? |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2023 |
Whoa, guys, I thought you knew I meant "Find me the snake in the grass" metaphorically. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2024 |
Velcome vindow viper. |
1.2283 |
0.05377 |
92 |
75 |
13 |
4 |
2025 |
Tell the people in shipping to be sure to mark the package, Handle With Care |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
2026 |
Uhhh,...I'm not even going to ask. Carry on |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
2027 |
Just because I said you should check your sources I didn't mean for your to bring them in. |
1.2283 |
0.04913 |
92 |
73 |
17 |
2 |
2028 |
He has just been hired in legal. |
1.2258 |
0.05100 |
93 |
75 |
15 |
3 |
2029 |
Wilson in sales missed his quota. |
1.2258 |
0.05325 |
93 |
76 |
13 |
4 |
2030 |
You asked for fresh Sushi! |
1.2258 |
0.05325 |
93 |
76 |
13 |
4 |
2031 |
This is your new secretary boss. Her name is Anna Conda. |
1.2258 |
0.05100 |
93 |
75 |
15 |
3 |
2032 |
Uh, Reptile Tuesday is next week. |
1.2258 |
0.05325 |
93 |
76 |
13 |
4 |
2033 |
He has been acting strangely since we went gluten-free in the lunchroom. |
1.2258 |
0.05540 |
93 |
77 |
11 |
5 |
2034 |
Why does it take two of you to do that? |
1.2258 |
0.05100 |
93 |
75 |
15 |
3 |
2035 |
Are you sure that make enough sushi for the whole office? |
1.2258 |
0.05325 |
93 |
76 |
13 |
4 |
2036 |
Tread lightly, it's election season. |
1.2258 |
0.05540 |
93 |
77 |
11 |
5 |
2037 |
Wait! We found him in the hedge fund! |
1.2258 |
0.04866 |
93 |
74 |
17 |
2 |
2038 |
You'll have to hold on awhile longer. I'm completely out of stamps. |
1.2247 |
0.05478 |
89 |
73 |
12 |
4 |
2039 |
Couldn't you get one without a forked tongue? |
1.2247 |
0.04728 |
89 |
70 |
18 |
1 |
2040 |
So this is the guy who spoke with a forked tongue |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2041 |
Auto-correct strikes again... I meant to say, get the office a big snack. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2042 |
Thanks, but that's not the kind of boa I need for the precinct costume party. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2043 |
You can forget promotion, Butterworth, if your pet keeps eating everyone else’s on “Bring Your Pet to Work Day” |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2044 |
Two-foot steak. Steak. And where's Billy? |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2045 |
OK, I'll predict it right now: we're not winning the Chinese New Year Dragon contest. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2046 |
The grass is ready in Conference Room C. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2047 |
You have the right to remain ssssssssssssilent. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2048 |
Sorry guys, the new boss said the lunchtime snake fighting on the loading dock has gotta go. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2049 |
That's not going to help our image. |
1.2198 |
0.04636 |
91 |
72 |
18 |
1 |
2050 |
Escort him out. We have enough snakes on the payroll already. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2051 |
Gary's run up the corporate ladder had been great while it lasted. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2052 |
Well, that’s one way to put the squeeze on |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2053 |
Find out what he knows about where Adam and Eve disappeared to.... |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2054 |
We thought it was "Bring your pet to work day!" |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2055 |
May I remind you two that we aim to be a viperless office by the end of this quarter? |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2056 |
I said increase "sales" not "scales"!!! |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2057 |
Let me know when the boss is done digesting. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2058 |
Put it next to Eve, but leave room for a very large apple. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2059 |
We need to think of another way to downsize the legal department. |
1.2198 |
0.04636 |
91 |
72 |
18 |
1 |
2060 |
Sorry gentilmen, but we've had to scale back. |
1.2198 |
0.05806 |
91 |
77 |
8 |
6 |
2061 |
Put him in an empty office for now and tell everyone to hide their comfort pets. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2062 |
Our new lawyer. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2063 |
Oil! I said oil! |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2064 |
A bigger server, not serpent, you idiots. |
1.2198 |
0.05806 |
91 |
77 |
8 |
6 |
2065 |
He gets one more trip around. Then back to Hillary's office. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2066 |
Marketing billed it, they can keep it. |
1.2198 |
0.04636 |
91 |
72 |
18 |
1 |
2067 |
Is that an applicant to interview for the head of HR? |
1.2198 |
0.05806 |
91 |
77 |
8 |
6 |
2068 |
Guess we won't be needing it after all. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2069 |
We've had complaints. Can't use the break room microwave anymore. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2070 |
So… is the 40-foot serpentine sea-monster not working out? |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2071 |
Your underground source? |
1.2198 |
0.04636 |
91 |
72 |
18 |
1 |
2072 |
Tell Joe's wife he's going to be home late tonight.... |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2073 |
You'd be the new team in HR? |
1.2198 |
0.04636 |
91 |
72 |
18 |
1 |
2074 |
We've been called to the situation room. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2075 |
Now that we have elevators, you and the ladders are redundant. |
1.2198 |
0.05806 |
91 |
77 |
8 |
6 |
2076 |
Basement wet again? |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2077 |
What were the rules on bringing your pet to work day? |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2078 |
I'm sorry but I don't think he's the right candidate for the position. He's kind of slithery. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2079 |
If you're done with Megyn Mr. Ailes would like it back in his office. |
1.2198 |
0.05806 |
91 |
77 |
8 |
6 |
2080 |
Take him to our collections division on the second floor, they've been expecting him. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2081 |
I've seen worse snakes around here. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2082 |
No, we're selling snake oil. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2083 |
This hunt for diverse hires is going to be the end of us. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2084 |
Um, Tony - I didn't mean "show me your snake" literally. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2085 |
Did the File Cabinet of Secrets open again? |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2086 |
Jackets are to be worn at all times. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2087 |
I received a note saying you found a virus on your computer. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2088 |
I guess I'm not the biggest snake here anymore. |
1.2198 |
0.05806 |
91 |
77 |
8 |
6 |
2089 |
I'm positive I said snack, not snake. |
1.2198 |
0.04636 |
91 |
72 |
18 |
1 |
2090 |
So, the interns weren't quitting? |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2091 |
Never mind. I won't have time for lunch today. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2092 |
No no, I said I would like to have a Pie-A-Thon. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2093 |
I can't believe we went to Harvard for this. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2094 |
We're putting him in charge of advertising. |
1.2198 |
0.05806 |
91 |
77 |
8 |
6 |
2095 |
Is this the new turnaround manager? |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2096 |
Is it electric? |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2097 |
We found him in Trump's office, writing his speeches. He also told Adam and Eve to eat the apple. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2098 |
I SAID BRING ME A BIG LADDER! |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2099 |
The boss just can't take a joke! |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2100 |
Guys, I think we need to re-think our perceived strangle-hold on our clients. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2101 |
Feeding the company mascot again? |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2102 |
Sorry. The serpent whisperer is out today. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2103 |
Not that Fang Shui for the office. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2104 |
Well... this is awkward. Bob from Accounting brought in the same thrashing serpent. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2105 |
Great catch, but I said find the office rat. |
1.2198 |
0.05806 |
91 |
77 |
8 |
6 |
2106 |
Thanks for coming so fast. That Viper Pit was killing our HR Department. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2107 |
I'm thinking you took "Go get that snake" a bit literally |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2108 |
Did you get rid of the Mole? |
1.2198 |
0.04365 |
91 |
71 |
20 |
0 |
2109 |
No, No, No. Not serpents. I said bring me the head of merchants. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2110 |
So the sound I was hearing was actually more of a buzzing. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2111 |
You do know it's bring your kid to work day right? |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2112 |
You’re celebrating with a ‘conger’? |
1.2198 |
0.06012 |
91 |
78 |
6 |
7 |
2113 |
Just drop it. I'll check with Creative. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2114 |
Actually, it's culturally insensitive to refer to him as "snake." He's a"Lampropeltis getula nigrita." |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2115 |
Hurry up! Hillary's waiting to debate the Trump stand-in. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2116 |
Please escort our efficiency expert to the conference room. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2117 |
You can just leave that in my inbox. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2118 |
We should get a trans-species washroom. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2119 |
He, unfortunately, goes with the rest of my failed attempts at team building. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2120 |
Sssso, this is our new marketing manager? |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2121 |
Better hurry; break room's almost out of deer. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2122 |
Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2123 |
Our 'no shedding' policy is strictly enforced. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2124 |
So you two are gonna feed him, you know, like every day, right? |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2125 |
You must be the budget committee. |
1.2198 |
0.04636 |
91 |
72 |
18 |
1 |
2126 |
I said " try and snake your way into the meeting" |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2127 |
'Bring Your Python To Work Day' isn't until tomorrow. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2128 |
He needs a coat and tie if he is going to work here. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2129 |
I´d planned to show the shareholder conference this afternoon that we have the biggest STAKE in the corporation. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2130 |
thank you for the doctor's note for your therapy snake |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2131 |
Our new CEO is here , where should we put him? |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2132 |
Get her to make-up and remember, we are WITH HER. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2133 |
The shareholders were wondering whether we could manage this fiscal year with just one snake wrangler. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2134 |
Apparently it's been locked in the SEC Compliance Office since the firm opened. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2135 |
I asked you to get the feel of the American voter, not the eel. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2136 |
I said, "Carpe diem"; not "Seize the carp!" |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2137 |
He's here for an interview. Has he been 'vetted'? |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2138 |
I'm sorry, but you guys breezing in here for the fourth Friday morning in a row with an anaconda tucked under your arms has lost all of its wow factor. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2139 |
"I see we have found the company a new lawyer". |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2140 |
We got your memo about the toxic workplace environment. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2141 |
Welcome to the Trump campaign staff. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2142 |
'Well, it's easier to explain than layoffs' |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2143 |
I see the new manager is here. I'll clean out my desk. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2144 |
It's just that I think a pink slip and a constrictor is a bit too much. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2145 |
He doesn't look well. Better give him some 'asp-rin'. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2146 |
You programmers are so literal. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2147 |
Gentlemen, please escort our new HR Director to the adjoining office of CEO Voldemort. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2148 |
That looks worse than a phishing attack! |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2149 |
The other vendors are in the conference room. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2150 |
This trading eelgorithm could make us the new Salamander Brothers. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2151 |
Go put it under Trump's desk. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2152 |
The Chinese New Year isn't until February! |
1.2198 |
0.04636 |
91 |
72 |
18 |
1 |
2153 |
This must be the new HR guy! |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2154 |
Oh, is it time for the Biodiversity in the Workplace training? |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
2155 |
Hey, guys "Bring Your Pet to Work" day is next week. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2156 |
True, artisanal always DOES sell better, but are we even sure snake oil is a thing? |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2157 |
I know I asked you to clean out the break room refrigerator, but that's mine. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2158 |
I don't care what he's promising, I'm not changing phones. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2159 |
They asked for transparency on Wall Street, they got it. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
2160 |
This is just what we need to improve the security of our firewall. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2161 |
What do you mean, I should have seen the one that got away? |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2162 |
Okay, just one sick day. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2163 |
Let's name him Ryan Lochte. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
2164 |
The collaborative meeting is rescheduled for tomorrow, but I will need him for the investor meeting at 3:30 |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2165 |
Bring him to the conference room then go get the Hyena. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
2166 |
And how exactly is he going to help us with our spyware problem? |
1.2188 |
0.04730 |
96 |
77 |
17 |
2 |
2167 |
Well, okay, as long as the resume clearly claims sixty words per minute. |
1.2174 |
0.04845 |
92 |
74 |
16 |
2 |
2168 |
How many canaries in the coal mine did he eat? |
1.2174 |
0.05315 |
92 |
76 |
12 |
4 |
2169 |
Are you two sharing lunch again? |
1.2174 |
0.05086 |
92 |
75 |
14 |
3 |
2170 |
Lab 4, next to the thankless child and man's ingratitude. |
1.2174 |
0.05315 |
92 |
76 |
12 |
4 |
2171 |
This is the third time this week you've slithered in late! |
1.2174 |
0.04845 |
92 |
74 |
16 |
2 |
2172 |
He wants to run for president, and he needs someone to write his speeches. |
1.2174 |
0.05315 |
92 |
76 |
12 |
4 |
2173 |
Sorry boys, but HR refused the transfer request. |
1.2174 |
0.05535 |
92 |
77 |
10 |
5 |
2174 |
No. The list said 'and a condom,' not anaconda. |
1.2174 |
0.05086 |
92 |
75 |
14 |
3 |
2175 |
You've got a killer instinct, I like that. |
1.2174 |
0.05086 |
92 |
75 |
14 |
3 |
2176 |
I'm thinking now that Mr. Long's office just might be the better destination. |
1.2174 |
0.05951 |
92 |
79 |
6 |
7 |
2177 |
What's that old saying about "geeks bearing gifts"? |
1.2159 |
0.05225 |
88 |
72 |
13 |
3 |
2178 |
I told you he was a snake in the grass. Now do you believe me? |
1.2159 |
0.05469 |
88 |
73 |
11 |
4 |
2179 |
I believe he ordered steak. |
1.2151 |
0.04798 |
93 |
75 |
16 |
2 |
2180 |
You must be the new CEO. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2181 |
Fine. You can have the standing desk. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2182 |
I told you guys to order a feather boa . . . |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2183 |
Put him in with O'Donnell, he speaks with forked tongue, too. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2184 |
I can't wait to see the headcount report next month! |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2185 |
Advertising is the second door on the right. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2186 |
Are you seriously going to bring that thing to every quarterly review? |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2187 |
We acquired this critter in the merger. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2188 |
NO I said to anticipate a "SHAKE UP". |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2189 |
Serpentine, Shel, serpentine! |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2190 |
Bob took some time to digest the news of his dismissal. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2191 |
That was just a figure of speech. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2192 |
I have to let you know that this does bring into question the rest of your resume... |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2193 |
Cold cuts will do for tomorrow's meeting. |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2194 |
UGH...I meant our competitor when I said "Get that big fat snake in the grass" |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2195 |
Tell Harry the Chamber of Secrets is open again. |
1.2135 |
0.05865 |
89 |
76 |
7 |
6 |
2196 |
More oil for the sales department? |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2197 |
So that's the break-room thief who's been taking all the employee lunches... |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2198 |
Turns out it's a six-foot sub we need for that meeting. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2199 |
R&D have some splaining to do. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2200 |
I said pastrami on rye |
1.2135 |
0.05865 |
89 |
76 |
7 |
6 |
2201 |
Sushi my ass. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2202 |
Sushi again? |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2203 |
Oh, good, you're free. |
1.2135 |
0.04651 |
89 |
71 |
17 |
1 |
2204 |
Which political campaign ad is this intended for? |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2205 |
Is that from Legal? |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2206 |
You nitwits, the memo asked you to help me "SHAKE things up around here". |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2207 |
How are we going to wiggle out of this one? |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2208 |
Yes, the boss is in. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2209 |
So you 're told this was the most environmental-friendly way to fight office rodent. |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2210 |
He's part of the boss's plan to make our workspace a little more edgy. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2211 |
No, I distinctly said, Fondue Fork. |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2212 |
Just put him in procurement services. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2213 |
That better be a Pokémon because that's what I'm telling corporate. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2214 |
It's Sushi Day already? |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2215 |
It looks bad. I don't think he can swallow any more CNN. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2216 |
So this is a disruptor. |
1.2135 |
0.04651 |
89 |
71 |
17 |
1 |
2217 |
I'll miss you interns. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2218 |
I am fed up with you guys and all of your hissy fits! |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2219 |
Looking for Eve? She's at the hairdresser. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2220 |
Never allow yourself to be subject to the whims of a pop star. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2221 |
He's dangerous, but we could use more cold-blooded billers around here. |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2222 |
You know, it's still sexual harassment even if you take the joke literally. |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2223 |
Have you met the new CEO yet? |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2224 |
When you warned me about Bob acting like a snake, I thought it was rhetorical. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2225 |
So, since Python didn't work out, I guess we're coding in Eel now? |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2226 |
Wrong floor. The call-center is on eight. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2227 |
I said it was o.k. to go out for a quick bite, not to bring it back. |
1.2135 |
0.04368 |
89 |
70 |
19 |
0 |
2228 |
For the record, I voted against the employee sushi bar. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2229 |
There must be an easier way to get rid of the mice |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2230 |
I see that our Wal-Mart to Volde-Mart rebranding is coming along nicely. |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2231 |
Next time call Maintenance. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2232 |
Lunch? |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2233 |
Coming or going? |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2234 |
Idiots! I said servant, not serpent! |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2235 |
I'll call Poison Control. Looks like the boss bit his lip again... |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2236 |
Again? I keep thinking thursdays are "Bring your snake to work day". |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2237 |
But I brought my lunch today. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2238 |
idiots!!! my voicemail said bring a big SNACK to the party |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2239 |
Oh great, a new legal guy. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2240 |
When the brochure promised 'Natural Rat Extermination,' I was expecting something--well--a little less slithery. |
1.2135 |
0.04651 |
89 |
71 |
17 |
1 |
2241 |
HR says it's gotta be stuffed and mounted before you put it on the wall. |
1.2135 |
0.06286 |
89 |
78 |
3 |
8 |
2242 |
Another candidate for chair of the DNC? Right this way... |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2243 |
No matter that he's slippery Fred, HR just needs to know his native tongue. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2244 |
The new cafeteria chef is from China. He says they taste like chicken. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2245 |
Hold on, ee'll be with you in a moment. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2246 |
You thought a foot-long wouldn't be enough? |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2247 |
"Python" is the name of a programming language! I need you to pick THAT up on the side. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2248 |
I guess we are increasing diversity in the K9 workforce |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2249 |
Great for show and tell, but fellas, this is the Times. |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2250 |
This isn't what I envisioned for the Emotional Support Animal initiative. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2251 |
I told you! I don't want another snake working here. |
1.2135 |
0.04651 |
89 |
71 |
17 |
1 |
2252 |
No, fellas. Murray. I said I wanted to see MUR-ray. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2253 |
This is not what she meant by a large boa. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2254 |
Yes, I've already been introduced to our new CEO. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2255 |
Join, or Die. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2256 |
Guys, when I said your presentation lacks originality, this is not what I meant |
1.2135 |
0.04651 |
89 |
71 |
17 |
1 |
2257 |
The CEO position has already been filled. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2258 |
The lasagna in the fridge is mine, guys, so hands off...no offense, Cecil. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2259 |
Couple of early birds, I see. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2260 |
So, he wants to deny any relationship with Trump too. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2261 |
Sorry that the Heimlich method didn't save your boa constrictor. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2262 |
No, no, I said there was a problem with my wireless mouse. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2263 |
Are you the plumbers? |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2264 |
We'll need a mighty big hot dog bun. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2265 |
So it's takeaway sashimi, for the party? |
1.2135 |
0.06079 |
89 |
77 |
5 |
7 |
2266 |
Nessie has a few words to say to our gossip columnist |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2267 |
No! I said, 'Bring me the rept file,' the one with the reports. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2268 |
Uh, that comment was about Larry in accounting, and it wasn't meant to be taken literally. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2269 |
I would make a penis joke but women have ruined the American workplace. |
1.2135 |
0.05643 |
89 |
75 |
9 |
5 |
2270 |
The show-and-tell staff meeting is over. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2271 |
Good work boys. This fellow has thwarted me every time I climb the corporate ladder. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2272 |
According to the new policy, snakes belong in marketing not business affairs. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2273 |
Trump headquarters: "With a trouser snake like that they'll never make fun of his hands again!" |
1.2135 |
0.05865 |
89 |
76 |
7 |
6 |
2274 |
If he suggests lunch at an all-you-can-eat buffet, don't be surprised when he plays the "I'm digesting" card. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2275 |
I forgot today is Take Your Mythical Creature to Work Day. |
1.2135 |
0.04651 |
89 |
71 |
17 |
1 |
2276 |
Hold on fellows--bad vibes, tongue flicks and hissing mean he's close to calling the election. |
1.2135 |
0.04651 |
89 |
71 |
17 |
1 |
2277 |
We got the Anaconda Copper account? |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2278 |
For goodness snake! |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2279 |
No, no, you idiots, I said I wanted a snack, not a snake! |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2280 |
It might be time to scale back on a few of our clients. |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2281 |
Guys, guys ! When I said "our new product is "snake oil"" I didn't mean that literally. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2282 |
Just another day at the off hiss. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2283 |
I don't care if his tongue is a divining rod, tell the genetics lab that we already have too much trouble with sexual harrassment. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2284 |
THERE he is. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2285 |
A drug sniffing snake! It only points... right? |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2286 |
A Coelacanth? That's so 400 million years ago. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2287 |
I meant Python the programming language. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2288 |
Feeling eel? |
1.2135 |
0.05412 |
89 |
74 |
11 |
4 |
2289 |
I see dead people. |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2290 |
It's right here on his lunch order. The boss wanted a large shake! |
1.2135 |
0.05171 |
89 |
73 |
13 |
3 |
2291 |
Yes, Mr. Voldemort, I do agree that an ex-wizard with your skill set would fit in quite well here at Goldman Sachs. |
1.2111 |
0.05357 |
90 |
75 |
11 |
4 |
2292 |
You've got our entire staff behind you . |
1.2111 |
0.05805 |
90 |
77 |
7 |
6 |
2293 |
impressive resume` but we sell a different type of apple. |
1.2111 |
0.05357 |
90 |
75 |
11 |
4 |
2294 |
The office wanted to wish you happy birthday. |
1.2111 |
0.05585 |
90 |
76 |
9 |
5 |
2295 |
Bring Your Pet to Work Day? |
1.2111 |
0.05585 |
90 |
76 |
9 |
5 |
2296 |
He's not the only one with a forked tongue in this election. |
1.2111 |
0.05119 |
90 |
74 |
13 |
3 |
2297 |
You incompetents, I said 'get real', not 'eel' |
1.2111 |
0.04869 |
90 |
73 |
15 |
2 |
2298 |
I should inform you that 'bring-your-pet-to-work-day' is scheduled for tomorrow. |
1.2111 |
0.05357 |
90 |
75 |
11 |
4 |
2299 |
You're not gonna slither out of this one boys! |
1.2111 |
0.05357 |
90 |
75 |
11 |
4 |
2300 |
We're all wearing the same color pants! |
1.2111 |
0.05357 |
90 |
75 |
11 |
4 |
2301 |
He warned you not touch the "apple" |
1.2111 |
0.05357 |
90 |
75 |
11 |
4 |
2302 |
We'll have to rethink our approach to office pest control. |
1.2111 |
0.05119 |
90 |
74 |
13 |
3 |
2303 |
So, we're not going out for sushi? |
1.2111 |
0.05357 |
90 |
75 |
11 |
4 |
2304 |
Where have you guys been?! Mr. Trump was due in hair and makeup ten minutes ago! |
1.2111 |
0.05357 |
90 |
75 |
11 |
4 |
2305 |
Sure looks like the world's greatest Python programmer |
1.2069 |
0.05206 |
87 |
72 |
12 |
3 |
2306 |
Stan went a little heavy on the champagne when he found out he made partner. |
1.2045 |
0.05863 |
88 |
76 |
6 |
6 |
2307 |
always knew he was a snake in the grass |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2308 |
Thanks guys, I can finally drop this into the complaint box. |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2309 |
I know I said your work needed more 'bite,' but this isn't what I meant. |
1.2045 |
0.04617 |
88 |
71 |
16 |
1 |
2310 |
I suppose his cold-blooded sales tactics were bound to catch up with him eventually. |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2311 |
I'll see if that job in marketing is still open. |
1.2045 |
0.05636 |
88 |
75 |
8 |
5 |
2312 |
Tell me you didn't catch him again with the new intern, Eve. |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2313 |
Meet the new Head of Corporate Communication |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2314 |
Where do you want this? |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2315 |
No no no! It's "bull by the horns", not "serpent by the neck!" |
1.2045 |
0.05863 |
88 |
76 |
6 |
6 |
2316 |
They say productivity jumps with scale |
1.2045 |
0.04617 |
88 |
71 |
16 |
1 |
2317 |
Trying to deceive Eve again? |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2318 |
I told you he was in the grass. |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2319 |
Move it guys. Snakeskin boots are back ordered. |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2320 |
Sorry Becker. Bring-Your-Pet-to-Work Day was last Friday. |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2321 |
Is that from the new sushi place? |
1.2045 |
0.05636 |
88 |
75 |
8 |
5 |
2322 |
No! The memo says we cannot fire him just because of the forked tongue! |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2323 |
Genesis team from Apple? See Eve in the Eden Room please. |
1.2045 |
0.04617 |
88 |
71 |
16 |
1 |
2324 |
Umm... Not sure, but I may have to report you boys to H.R. |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2325 |
Not exactly what I meant by 'the full monty.' |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2326 |
Seriously? It’s nonvenomous and you still hired him? |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2327 |
I guess it can't be any worse than "Snakes on a Plane. |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2328 |
Dump it in the stream out back, and I'll try to get the kitchen staff back to work. |
1.2045 |
0.05636 |
88 |
75 |
8 |
5 |
2329 |
All right, boys, if you say he works harder than Gunderson, we'll give him a shot. |
1.2045 |
0.04617 |
88 |
71 |
16 |
1 |
2330 |
This is our new employee relations coordinator? |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2331 |
Take it back. That's a Small. The order was for a Large. |
1.2045 |
0.05636 |
88 |
75 |
8 |
5 |
2332 |
Yes, the toilet in the men's restroom needs to be snaked. What makes you think this one would even fit? |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2333 |
So, we need a new lead negotiator. |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2334 |
Bring it over to product development |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2335 |
We are going to sell snake oil and make a fortune. |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2336 |
This goes on the wall over my desk. |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2337 |
Somehow, it seemed smaller in the store. |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2338 |
Bob considered his big sexual harassment speech a success, until he found Dave petting Phil's big snake in the office. |
1.2045 |
0.05636 |
88 |
75 |
8 |
5 |
2339 |
We'd better switch to touchpads. |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2340 |
I didn't take it literally when Bob referred to his co-worker as a snake. |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2341 |
I know Bob brought his dog to work for Pet Friday but your pet has eaten Bob's pet. |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2342 |
Tell McGurk to put it in the suggestion box. |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2343 |
I see that bring your pet to work week began. |
1.2024 |
0.04724 |
84 |
68 |
15 |
1 |
2344 |
Perhaps the takeout sushi is a bit too fresh. |
1.2024 |
0.05297 |
84 |
70 |
11 |
3 |
2345 |
The mice are in the cafeteria. |
1.2024 |
0.05561 |
84 |
71 |
9 |
4 |
2346 |
Which of you is strong enough to carry him alone, after he's eaten? |
1.2022 |
0.04570 |
89 |
72 |
16 |
1 |
2347 |
Okay, here's another shocker...you're fired! |
1.2022 |
0.04842 |
89 |
73 |
14 |
2 |
2348 |
I was referring to our boss when I said "I'd do anything to carry that snake out of here". |
1.2022 |
0.04842 |
89 |
73 |
14 |
2 |
2349 |
Please show Mr. Snake to his office. It's the one with the grass carpet. |
1.2022 |
0.04570 |
89 |
72 |
16 |
1 |
2350 |
Let's stick with the trash compactor we have. |
1.2022 |
0.05343 |
89 |
75 |
10 |
4 |
2351 |
The presidential candidate you're grooming for 2020 has arrived. Where should we take him? |
1.2022 |
0.05099 |
89 |
74 |
12 |
3 |
2352 |
This is our new communications director. |
1.2022 |
0.05099 |
89 |
74 |
12 |
3 |
2353 |
E'll have to find a desk somewhere in the back |
1.2022 |
0.05099 |
89 |
74 |
12 |
3 |
2354 |
I told you this would happen when we got rid of the glass ceiling. |
1.2022 |
0.05099 |
89 |
74 |
12 |
3 |
2355 |
Whatever you do, don't let the chicken see it. |
1.2022 |
0.05343 |
89 |
75 |
10 |
4 |
2356 |
Sorry guys. Snake mail is even less efficient than snail mail. |
1.1977 |
0.05183 |
86 |
72 |
11 |
3 |
2357 |
No, when I said our office had a snake in the grass, this is not what I meant. |
1.1977 |
0.04912 |
86 |
71 |
13 |
2 |
2358 |
Tell Lost And Found to watch themselves |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2359 |
Britney is no longer with the label. |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2360 |
You idiots. The executive washroom sink is plugged up and I said I needed a plumbers snake. |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2361 |
Where you goa with that boa? |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2362 |
Not until I run it by legal counsel. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2363 |
I know he's slimy, but did he break the law? |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2364 |
The new guy in marketing? |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2365 |
He just ate the payroll clerk! |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2366 |
Sushi lunch again? |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2367 |
Sushi to go? |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2368 |
"Please accept my resignation" signed - Anna Conda |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2369 |
Now, if we can just locate Adam and Eve. |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2370 |
It was in one of those packages from a reader. |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2371 |
I actually said get a photocopier, but I can understand the confusion. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2372 |
When I said I expected the next quarter to be a monster one, I didn't mean this. |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2373 |
Forked tongue... must be the new Republican mascot. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2374 |
This Pokemon Go business is getting out of hand. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2375 |
Someone left a bunch in the conference room. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2376 |
Playing Corporate Snakes and Ladders is really making me nervous. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2377 |
Yep, this is what the interns do every summer to the boss, put it in is office, he will get a kick out of this. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2378 |
We're expanding into the Chamber of Secrets. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2379 |
We just won the pokemon find. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2380 |
You misunderstood, I said 'Pythagorean Theorem' |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2381 |
The Olympic 2 person eel relay was last week. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2382 |
Gosh, Mr. Trump, it's an honor. |
1.1954 |
0.05626 |
87 |
75 |
7 |
5 |
2383 |
rectangular pylon ! |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2384 |
looks like I better get over to the breakfast bagels before they run out of the good lox. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2385 |
No, I said let's seal the deal with a handshake. |
1.1954 |
0.04276 |
87 |
70 |
17 |
0 |
2386 |
I thought we were going to bring in a mutually agreed upon arbitrator. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2387 |
"Tell Mr. Putin, 'No thanks.' Mr. Trump already is one. |
1.1954 |
0.05858 |
87 |
76 |
5 |
6 |
2388 |
He's our new man down in collections. |
1.1954 |
0.04276 |
87 |
70 |
17 |
0 |
2389 |
I hope our next company mascot doesn't live for twenty-five years. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2390 |
I smell a pink slip there, boys . . . |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2391 |
Carl, I ordered the unagi HANDROLL! |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2392 |
Is that our new live lie-detector? |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2393 |
How many phones can we charge at the same time? |
1.1954 |
0.05626 |
87 |
75 |
7 |
5 |
2394 |
What?! Yet another mid-career transfer from the DEP? |
1.1954 |
0.04276 |
87 |
70 |
17 |
0 |
2395 |
Don't worry, we'll order you an ergonomic work station. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2396 |
That’s not exactly what I meant when I said our campaign needs a real "snake in the grass". |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2397 |
Damn!... I completely forgot it was Bring-Your-Anaconda-To-Work Day. |
1.1954 |
0.05858 |
87 |
76 |
5 |
6 |
2398 |
Nope. |
1.1954 |
0.05626 |
87 |
75 |
7 |
5 |
2399 |
Snake? I said I wanted a shake. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2400 |
Sorry guys, he failed the polygraph. |
1.1954 |
0.05626 |
87 |
75 |
7 |
5 |
2401 |
The 'Best Weird Chef' Show's on the second floor, Guys! |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2402 |
Nice ssssynergy. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2403 |
Put him on my desk. We'll see if he can squeeze out a profit. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2404 |
Whoa, you guys stealing office supplies again? |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2405 |
Did you use the HOV lane? |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2406 |
Okay, so, this is going to increase our sales how? |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2407 |
Now we will have a fighting chance at the interoffice picnic |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2408 |
I keep telling the boss that there are no feral pigs running around in the basement, but he won't listen. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2409 |
Even her body bag is snakeskin! |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2410 |
Fred from HR ... just returned from a lengthy South American recruiting trip. |
1.1954 |
0.04276 |
87 |
70 |
17 |
0 |
2411 |
Don't let the EPA see that's what is swimming in our retaining pond. |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2412 |
No-Fish-in-the-Microwave. Period. |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2413 |
This settles it. Our water system is contaminated. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2414 |
Great, the ladders are already in the game room. |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2415 |
Worming your way in isn't gonna work. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2416 |
I knew we shouldn't have kept his cage next to the microwave. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2417 |
I told you not to feed the goldfish. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2418 |
They're really enforcing the diversity quotas, huh? |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2419 |
I don't know why he swallowed that fly |
1.1954 |
0.05626 |
87 |
75 |
7 |
5 |
2420 |
Now THAT'S eatin' fresh. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2421 |
Our snake oil sales are soaring. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2422 |
Give the bosses "nephew" that desk in the corner... I don't want him sliming up the office. |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2423 |
Oh, good, Mr. Fletcher the efficiency consultant is here. |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2424 |
He ate their CEO. . . give him a bonus and 5 gallons of Pepto-Bismol. |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2425 |
Huh, this whole time I thought that sound was the building's old pipes. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2426 |
Take it to the Board Room, they're expecting a response to their offer. |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2427 |
Put it in the Board Room....bon appetit little one! |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2428 |
Honestly, Henderson; it takes both of you to carry a simple reptile? |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2429 |
I asked you to reel in a giant deal. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2430 |
I'm so disappointed in you guys. You two swore to me...no more bathroom pranks. |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2431 |
Obviously you didn't see the memo about not bring pets to work. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2432 |
I said "Shake Shack" for lunch, fellas |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2433 |
You said, "No shellfish." |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2434 |
Damn autocorrect! Smithers wants it "A.S.A.P" not "Asp." |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2435 |
That’s so awesome, guys! Now, when Dave comes in, I’ll pull down his pants and you stuff it in there. Then Deb from Accounting comes in and says “Wow, Dave! Is that a snake in your pants, or are you just happy to see me??” Boom! Classic office prank! |
1.1932 |
0.04810 |
88 |
73 |
13 |
2 |
2436 |
Your last Herculean task is to balance the budget. |
1.1932 |
0.04810 |
88 |
73 |
13 |
2 |
2437 |
Ah, we caught another hacker! |
1.1932 |
0.05566 |
88 |
76 |
7 |
5 |
2438 |
You psychos think it'll swallow Zuckerberg whole? |
1.1932 |
0.04810 |
88 |
73 |
13 |
2 |
2439 |
I thought "Mega Sushi" was just a catchy name.. |
1.1932 |
0.04810 |
88 |
73 |
13 |
2 |
2440 |
So, how'd it go in there? |
1.1932 |
0.04810 |
88 |
73 |
13 |
2 |
2441 |
Was I somehow unclear about our team building challenge? I distinctly said a boa constrictor, not a python. |
1.1932 |
0.05326 |
88 |
75 |
9 |
4 |
2442 |
The boss feeling ok? |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2443 |
I said I wanted to see you asAp. |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2444 |
Tell Eve her strategic planning method needs to be updated. |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2445 |
I realize you're new here, Jenkins, but we at Mutual of Omaha no longer think of ourselves as the Wild Kingdom! |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2446 |
So I’ve got to be honest. I’m a bit surprised as it says right here on your resume that your major was anthropology. |
1.1905 |
0.04310 |
84 |
68 |
16 |
0 |
2447 |
No—we're a construction company. |
1.1905 |
0.05738 |
84 |
73 |
6 |
5 |
2448 |
At least it's not crabs. |
1.1905 |
0.04631 |
84 |
69 |
14 |
1 |
2449 |
Let's just hope this one doesn't get away from you. |
1.1905 |
0.04631 |
84 |
69 |
14 |
1 |
2450 |
I said bring me a big "deal". |
1.1905 |
0.04931 |
84 |
70 |
12 |
2 |
2451 |
They want the purchase order to be more specific. |
1.1905 |
0.05214 |
84 |
71 |
10 |
3 |
2452 |
Spencer, Bruce — No, you cannot share an emotional-support animal. |
1.1905 |
0.04931 |
84 |
70 |
12 |
2 |
2453 |
I modified his office with an extra long sofa. |
1.1905 |
0.04631 |
84 |
69 |
14 |
1 |
2454 |
Sorry guys, no boas allowed in the boardroom. |
1.1905 |
0.05214 |
84 |
71 |
10 |
3 |
2455 |
Is it Bring Your Komodo Dragon to Work Day, again? |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2456 |
Assign her to the Sherwood case; the trial is next week. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2457 |
Good! That will keep the creditors away. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2458 |
Where should we put the new campaign manager? |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2459 |
The grass is on the third floor. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2460 |
I said buy Amazon, not anaconda. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2461 |
Sorry, but we've modified our bring-a-pet-to-work policy. |
1.1882 |
0.05674 |
85 |
74 |
6 |
5 |
2462 |
I said "an accountant". You heard "anaconda"! |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2463 |
I think it's time we talked about your pet peeve! |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2464 |
I said we needed an office "boy", not an office "boa". |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2465 |
Great, we are all set for our appearance on Shark tank. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2466 |
On behalf of our team, let me welcome our new legal counselor. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2467 |
I think "Don't Tread On Me" doesn't quite represent our company's best interest, Chirpley's Tire and Auto is more of a business where the rubber meets the road ! |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2468 |
I thought they were being figurative! |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2469 |
Have we discussed your severance package? |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2470 |
That reminds me, have you guys seen my missing pet frog Felicity? |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2471 |
Hold it! I ordered a Serpent hard-drive |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2472 |
Just putting the bite on the the Johnson account. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2473 |
You're sure this was sponsored by the Clinton Foundation? |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2474 |
A gift from our corporate partner in South America? |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2475 |
It must have heard we sell snake oil. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2476 |
Now go see Smithers in accounting and give him a real tongue-lashing. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2477 |
I see you've met the new legal intern. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2478 |
We'll bring it to the meeting only for shock value. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2479 |
J.K. thanks you for clearing out Voldemort's desk. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2480 |
Sorry boys. Research is in. Effective immediately, we're out of the snake oil business. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2481 |
Careful, the employee of the year must be sunned every 2 hours. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2482 |
The squeaky eel gets the grease. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2483 |
It's going to 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Ask for Herman. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2484 |
You must be our new car salesman. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2485 |
Where's the grass? |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2486 |
Put the tail in the vice-presidents office and the head in the mail room. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2487 |
It tastes like chicken |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2488 |
You two are not snaking your way out of it this time! |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2489 |
I thought you said you landed a whale. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2490 |
The sushi chef is waiting in the back room. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2491 |
I guess you should put it in the grass. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2492 |
I guess we better stop feeding the koi. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2493 |
You caught Neely slithering home early, again? |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2494 |
Look fellas, the boss's memo clearly says 'I welcome constructive criticism" - with a 'u'. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2495 |
You two SHOULD be rattled by those second-quarter earnings. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2496 |
Be sure to hide him back in the grass when the shareholders show up! |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2497 |
We're taking him where he'll fit in--The New Yorker |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2498 |
Meeting's cancelled; Bob forgot the ladder. |
1.1882 |
0.05674 |
85 |
74 |
6 |
5 |
2499 |
So, THAT is the new corporate mascot? |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2500 |
LEAVE IT UNDER BOARD ROOM CONFERENCE TABLE AND CLOSE THE DOOR.. |
1.1882 |
0.05674 |
85 |
74 |
6 |
5 |
2501 |
Why does it always take both of you to "drain the snake"? |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2502 |
Put him over there - next to the mouse trap. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2503 |
Um, Salazar, I'm not sure Basilisks are appropriate for bring your pet to work day... |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2504 |
I said Sub-prime lender, not Sub-primate! ... Wait ... Ok this could work. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2505 |
That's the last time I order omakase. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2506 |
The boss wants you on the floor right away. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2507 |
That should help our chances in the Shark Tank. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2508 |
Don't tell me that my former boss has been reincarnated. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2509 |
Good job guys, that forked tongue will fit right in with tonight's presidential debate coverage. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2510 |
Sorry, fellas. The boss changed her mind. Get her an aardvark sample, asap! |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2511 |
I said we'd need to get some snacks for the recruiting function. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2512 |
I thought we weren't hiring any more Slytherin's. |
1.1882 |
0.05674 |
85 |
74 |
6 |
5 |
2513 |
Our snake oil is made from all natural ingredients. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2514 |
So that's snake eyes. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2515 |
When I said you had to land a big fish, I didn't think you would take it literally! |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2516 |
I actually said public servant roles hold different pay scales, not publically hold a serpent with grey scales. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2517 |
Put it back where you found it. Now! |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2518 |
I warned him about the tuna salad. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2519 |
Put it in charge of the slush fund. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2520 |
We Found The Snake That's Been Causing All The Sin |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2521 |
We will use it to squeeze and crush the competion. |
1.1882 |
0.05674 |
85 |
74 |
6 |
5 |
2522 |
He just started in the Law department. |
1.1882 |
0.05916 |
85 |
75 |
4 |
6 |
2523 |
Ahhhh, the new Vice President of HR. Welcome aboard! |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2524 |
I just knew the mail order reptile business was a mistake. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2525 |
Gentlemen, what I actually sad was "We need a new 'feel' for this project!" |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2526 |
Tell the Bronx Zoo they can have their boa back, but let's hold off on releasing the news that it swallowed our CEO. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2527 |
Sir, the mail room guys are threatening to strike... |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2528 |
That dragon roll looks a little TOO fresh. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2529 |
I don't this is a good solution to bugs in the break room |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2530 |
Replacing the power strips with electric eels for "green energy" should really get corporate's attention. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2531 |
Hang in there Higgins, we're going to execute a Python-Heimlich maneuver. Plan B: suppositories. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2532 |
I said I wanted the ten foot sub deal, not eel. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2533 |
They weren't kidding when they said they had the freshest sushi in town. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2534 |
And you say that he feeds on spam |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2535 |
That's it, this is the last horcrux we are insuring for him! |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2536 |
Venom …check. Now get some vim and vigor. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2537 |
'Yes, but can she type?' |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2538 |
Those aren't exactly the scales of justice Leo was asking about. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2539 |
No! I said bring me Dr. Millmoss. He's inside the hippo. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2540 |
Guys, take your sea serpent to work day is next week, not today. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2541 |
I know it's "Bring Your Pet to Work Day" but.... |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2542 |
Every Florida vote is going to count in November! |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2543 |
Oh, thank goodness, it's not a mole. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2544 |
When I said we needed more salesmen who could sell snake oil, I didn't mean it literally. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2545 |
Since when is sales training a two man job? |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2546 |
When you're done with that, can you take a look at the Johnson account? |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2547 |
Slap a 'Made in America' sticker on it. |
1.1882 |
0.05674 |
85 |
74 |
6 |
5 |
2548 |
Since it has a forked tongue, add it to the sales team. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2549 |
If it tells you to eat one of the apples on the tree outside then I'd give it a miss... |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2550 |
This water snake says its name is Ryan Lochte |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2551 |
Hell of a performance review, Doug. |
1.1882 |
0.04265 |
85 |
69 |
16 |
0 |
2552 |
How should I know it was a typo? The memo just said 'service animals now allowed'. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2553 |
Every year the food's worse here. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2554 |
I said snack not snake. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2555 |
My apologies...turns out she said a large stake in the business. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2556 |
looking for a charger. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2557 |
OK, now bring in a fowl. |
1.1882 |
0.04265 |
85 |
69 |
16 |
0 |
2558 |
Hurry up -- they need him for JP's peer review. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2559 |
When you said you were doing a "Dragon Drop" I thought it was something you were doing on your computer. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2560 |
Is it bring-your-pet-to-work day *again*? |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2561 |
Ms. Spears' office is the third on the left. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2562 |
Give him the office between Samuels and Franks. One's a shark and the other's a whale. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2563 |
Sushi deliveries are on the main floor. |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2564 |
I didn't know the Summer Interns were already leaving. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2565 |
You can't claim that on expenses. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2566 |
Yes, it's a fine specimen of Cylindrophiidae, but we don't need it at Hartsdale Publishing. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2567 |
I'm concerned there is something is fishy down in accounting. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2568 |
I asked for a Healthy Shake |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2569 |
Wow, nice pencil case! |
1.1882 |
0.05674 |
85 |
74 |
6 |
5 |
2570 |
Perfect boys, if this doesn't get Trump off the front page, I don't know what will. |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2571 |
I recall requesting a Monty Python video as a grab bag gift. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2572 |
Double the tartar sauce. |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2573 |
I asked for a "boat constructor". This is a "boa constrictor". |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2574 |
Are you sure this will get us Samuel L Jackson? |
1.1882 |
0.04878 |
85 |
71 |
12 |
2 |
2575 |
Blame the shrinking applicant pool. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2576 |
Yes, Frank, I already TOLD you that Tom in accounting was a snake in the grass! |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2577 |
Send out a memo that no one's allowed to eat at their desk! |
1.1882 |
0.05157 |
85 |
72 |
10 |
3 |
2578 |
I told you guys to put that thing in the long briefcase where it belongs! |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2579 |
Guys - we've discussed this. Budget meetings do not include 'Show and Tell' time. |
1.1882 |
0.04582 |
85 |
70 |
14 |
1 |
2580 |
Another suspect Russian athlete, eh, Ponderby? |
1.1882 |
0.05422 |
85 |
73 |
8 |
4 |
2581 |
Becky said she wanted my big, fat anaconda. |
1.1860 |
0.05851 |
86 |
76 |
4 |
6 |
2582 |
I said, Python training, Bob! Not a trained python. |
1.1860 |
0.05101 |
86 |
73 |
10 |
3 |
2583 |
New Yorker writing tip #1: Show, don't tell. |
1.1860 |
0.05101 |
86 |
73 |
10 |
3 |
2584 |
I thought corporate wanted us to transition away from snakes. |
1.1860 |
0.05101 |
86 |
73 |
10 |
3 |
2585 |
Wow...you guys are glad to see me. |
1.1860 |
0.05101 |
86 |
73 |
10 |
3 |
2586 |
The board room is full of snakes. |
1.1860 |
0.04533 |
86 |
71 |
14 |
1 |
2587 |
It was a typo. It was supposed to say steak for the company cook out. |
1.1860 |
0.04826 |
86 |
72 |
12 |
2 |
2588 |
I don't think this is what the boss meant when he said he wanted a new viper. |
1.1860 |
0.05101 |
86 |
73 |
10 |
3 |
2589 |
So, how did he do on the lie-detector test? |
1.1839 |
0.05047 |
87 |
74 |
10 |
3 |
2590 |
That's not quite what I meant about integrating Python into our office. |
1.1839 |
0.04775 |
87 |
73 |
12 |
2 |
2591 |
Down the hall and to the right |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2592 |
'It's bring your pet to work week sir.' |
1.1807 |
0.05723 |
83 |
73 |
5 |
5 |
2593 |
Are you men feeling eel? |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2594 |
Who am I to question my two top salesmen? |
1.1807 |
0.04249 |
83 |
68 |
15 |
0 |
2595 |
oh wait...it says bring your STEPCHILD to work day....not Reptile....my bad. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2596 |
Looks like Human Resources respects the equal opportunity principle. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2597 |
No! No! I said: Go for a cig break, not go for a big snake. |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2598 |
Oops. Wrong model. There's no antidote for that one. Did you keep the box and receipt? |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2599 |
Boss- come join the friday office party conger line ! |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2600 |
Donald, stop by my office after team-building. |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2601 |
We don't need another lawyer in the office. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2602 |
Great, no more unpleasant downsizing announcements. Start him in 'Marketing'. |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2603 |
I said we had a mouse problem. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2604 |
No smoking regardless of species. Get it out of here! |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2605 |
Sir, the eel you requested for lunch. |
1.1807 |
0.05974 |
83 |
74 |
3 |
6 |
2606 |
I suppose I did request fresh sushi for the department conference. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2607 |
No, no! I said we need more servant leadership. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2608 |
Not right now. He's had a hell of a flight. |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2609 |
That's not exactly the kind of merger I had in mind. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2610 |
Sushi again Ted? |
1.1807 |
0.04249 |
83 |
68 |
15 |
0 |
2611 |
There's some leftover venison in the break room. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2612 |
Take him to HR. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2613 |
That's not what we meant by an eel wrap. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2614 |
Been phishing? |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2615 |
This is a meeting out This is a meeting about emails, not mail eels! |
1.1807 |
0.05723 |
83 |
73 |
5 |
5 |
2616 |
I said we could use a good servant around here, not a serpent. |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2617 |
Are you in the snake oil sales division? |
1.1807 |
0.05723 |
83 |
73 |
5 |
5 |
2618 |
I'm sorry. The role of the anaconda has already been cast. |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2619 |
I don't care if she feels she was supposed to be born a human, she still needs to dress business casual. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2620 |
We have ferreted out the office mole. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2621 |
I hate to be the one to address the 800 pound serpent in the room. |
1.1807 |
0.05723 |
83 |
73 |
5 |
5 |
2622 |
What about the tartar sauce? |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2623 |
Ohhh,last time I checked, snakes were in management's floor |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2624 |
Hold on, gents. You are not going to snake your way out of things this time! |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2625 |
Ah, you found the last XP user! |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2626 |
Sell the sizzle, not the snake! |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2627 |
Oh -- so THIS is what you meant when you said our legal department is full of snakes. |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2628 |
The "snake in the grass" turned out to be in the office! |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2629 |
Where is my EpiPen? |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2630 |
I got the memo, you really like the letter 's' huh? |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2631 |
We just want to show the boss our adder-ation. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2632 |
Just act natural, maybe he won't notice. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2633 |
Excellent Gentlemen. She's gone to lunch, and Snookums is all alone. Just follow the infernal yapping. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2634 |
I thought this was a pet friendly office. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2635 |
No, he cannot have his own cubicle. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2636 |
Conference room B; the coiling is at 3PM. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2637 |
Actually, no, sir, He said that fruit is forbidden. I have the transcript right here. What happened to your limbs? |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2638 |
Works like a charm, with your pet, the meeting was adjourned in no time. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2639 |
Oh, is it snake time already? |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2640 |
Sorry. My emotional support snake sometimes has a taste for other service animals. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2641 |
Relax. I just got Gila monster added to the approved list of emotional support animals. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2642 |
I was kidding. |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2643 |
This focus grouper didn't think much of the new product? |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2644 |
Am I the only one in the office not feeling eel? |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2645 |
We found him out back in the grass. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2646 |
I want that up my ass |
1.1807 |
0.05974 |
83 |
74 |
3 |
6 |
2647 |
I got a complaint of a hostile-work environment that says the new employee is a snake. |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2648 |
Damned spellcheck -should have been "Make a Wish" foundation. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2649 |
I told you guys no more Harry Potter pranks in the office!! |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2650 |
He can stay, but only if he promises not to eat anyone else. |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2651 |
You have made a huge mis-snake. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2652 |
I never thought they'd fire you either, Nate. |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2653 |
I said stimulating deal, not slithering eel. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2654 |
He became our newest mascot when he ate the other warm and friendly one. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2655 |
You were sent on an assignment to find and write about the Loch Ness monster, not find and capture him! |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2656 |
Thanks for fixing the printer. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2657 |
The cable company is here. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2658 |
He really is a snake in grass! |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2659 |
You guys from R&D? Huh. So. I guess the new Tarnhelm worked. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2660 |
I don't care what the snake says; this is a Gryffindor office. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2661 |
I said to take a long position, but this is too much |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2662 |
Put it in the conference room for now. I'll call Animal Resources. |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2663 |
That's the third one this week, isn't it? |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2664 |
Take Harry to health services and get our CEO back pronto. |
1.1807 |
0.04582 |
83 |
69 |
13 |
1 |
2665 |
Our new advertising slogan: "Our mascot ate our competition's mascot." |
1.1807 |
0.05184 |
83 |
71 |
9 |
3 |
2666 |
That explains the missing files. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2667 |
Has anyone seen Laocoon? |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2668 |
They're not ready. Can you bring him back at two-thirty? |
1.1807 |
0.04249 |
83 |
68 |
15 |
0 |
2669 |
Is this going to be a second amendment issue? |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2670 |
I had no idea someone from the C-Suite was visiting today! |
1.1807 |
0.05723 |
83 |
73 |
5 |
5 |
2671 |
Looks like toxic management syndrome. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2672 |
Look right here! I specifically ordered a extra-large SHAKE with my burger. |
1.1807 |
0.04892 |
83 |
70 |
11 |
2 |
2673 |
Why didn't anyone tell me the corporate attorney was here today? |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2674 |
Take him to the typing-pool. |
1.1807 |
0.05460 |
83 |
72 |
7 |
4 |
2675 |
"Sorry fellas, 'Bring Your Pet To Work Day" was last week". |
1.1786 |
0.04204 |
84 |
69 |
15 |
0 |
2676 |
Are you giving us the raise we asked for? |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2677 |
Anacondas are done. We're looking for alligators and dragon lizards this week. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2678 |
Careful with our new speechwriter. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2679 |
Take it back to the Accounting Department. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2680 |
Orientation for new Marketing Interns is in the second conference room on the right. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2681 |
Is that really a snake or are you just happy to see me? |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2682 |
Is it 'Take Your Pet to Work Day,' already? |
1.1786 |
0.04204 |
84 |
69 |
15 |
0 |
2683 |
When I said Cary Forktong I was referring to our new department head. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2684 |
I see the new intern program has begun. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2685 |
It has Guinness all over it for surprise parties. |
1.1786 |
0.04532 |
84 |
70 |
13 |
1 |
2686 |
Thanks, but I'll pass on the sashimi. |
1.1786 |
0.05399 |
84 |
73 |
7 |
4 |
2687 |
I told you Louis was a snake. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2688 |
My birthday isn't until next week! |
1.1786 |
0.04532 |
84 |
70 |
13 |
1 |
2689 |
Now get rid of the snake in the front office. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2690 |
You said you wanted a plan that would devour the competition. |
1.1786 |
0.04204 |
84 |
69 |
15 |
0 |
2691 |
Yes, this is the hedge fund where our new therapy pet is to be delivered. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2692 |
We have to stop bring your pet to work day |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2693 |
No dessert if it doesn't eat the whole thing> |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2694 |
Let's go with solar panels instead. |
1.1786 |
0.05399 |
84 |
73 |
7 |
4 |
2695 |
Make sure you get him back in time for debate prep. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2696 |
uh-oh. Trumped again! |
1.1786 |
0.05399 |
84 |
73 |
7 |
4 |
2697 |
Gentlemen, you hold in your hands Jim Johnson, our new vice president of marketing & public relations. |
1.1786 |
0.04532 |
84 |
70 |
13 |
1 |
2698 |
He never thought he would see her again after he flushed her down the toilet. |
1.1786 |
0.05399 |
84 |
73 |
7 |
4 |
2699 |
I don't know how else to squeeze a little profit out of you. … |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2700 |
I thought we needed to increase the intensity of our management trust exercises. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2701 |
On second thought, he might have meant 'an accountant', after all. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2702 |
Quick - get him back to Sales! He can't do actual work for very long. |
1.1786 |
0.05658 |
84 |
74 |
5 |
5 |
2703 |
But he can't type. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2704 |
I don't think that's going to work - it's much bigger than what the plumber used last time the drain backed up. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2705 |
Looks like we're for another budget squeeze. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2706 |
Are you sure there isn't an easier way to transfer my Roth IRA funds? |
1.1786 |
0.04532 |
84 |
70 |
13 |
1 |
2707 |
Of course marketing needs me; I made "Apple" a household name. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2708 |
Boys, I think your idea for a company mascot won't be well received by management. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2709 |
Reminds me of me in the early days. |
1.1786 |
0.04204 |
84 |
69 |
15 |
0 |
2710 |
That goes in the other vice-president’s office. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2711 |
Gentlemen, I thought I told you last week that we do not recognize 'service snakes' as an accommodation. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2712 |
In retrospect, I should have been more specific when adding Python to your job requirements. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2713 |
When I said 'carpe diem' I didn't mean it literally! |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2714 |
Sorry fellas, no snaking out early this week. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2715 |
You should've seen the one that got away. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2716 |
Having a forked tongue isn't a crime Frank. |
1.1786 |
0.04532 |
84 |
70 |
13 |
1 |
2717 |
Guys, I said it was a jump the _shark_ moment. |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2718 |
Gentlemen, meet your new boss. |
1.1786 |
0.05399 |
84 |
73 |
7 |
4 |
2719 |
We feel you're a little out of your depth here. |
1.1786 |
0.05399 |
84 |
73 |
7 |
4 |
2720 |
Hey guys... I told you no T-rumps in the office... A snake in the grass needs to be kept outside in the grass |
1.1786 |
0.05658 |
84 |
74 |
5 |
5 |
2721 |
To Legal with the rest... |
1.1786 |
0.05126 |
84 |
72 |
9 |
3 |
2722 |
Adam, you know this is not our new COBRA policy. |
1.1786 |
0.04532 |
84 |
70 |
13 |
1 |
2723 |
Nice work, fellows. The women have had a sense all week that something was trying to look up their skirts. |
1.1786 |
0.04532 |
84 |
70 |
13 |
1 |
2724 |
The IT guys want you to put that with the other computer viruses next to the scams and phishing section. |
1.1786 |
0.05399 |
84 |
73 |
7 |
4 |
2725 |
You know the rule:No pets in the office. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2726 |
What's with the snake pits? |
1.1786 |
0.05399 |
84 |
73 |
7 |
4 |
2727 |
Oh good, the unagi is here. |
1.1786 |
0.04838 |
84 |
71 |
11 |
2 |
2728 |
You guys have got to get with the office lingo! That's not what I meant by "Fish or cut bait!" |
1.1765 |
0.05339 |
85 |
74 |
7 |
4 |
2729 |
I forgot it was take-your-giant-sea-eel-to-work day. |
1.1765 |
0.04786 |
85 |
72 |
11 |
2 |
2730 |
That's not what I meant when I told you to go fishing for new ideas. |
1.1765 |
0.04786 |
85 |
72 |
11 |
2 |
2731 |
No fair! I was supposed to help carry the boss's demon penis today. |
1.1765 |
0.05840 |
85 |
76 |
3 |
6 |
2732 |
You three are cold blooded. |
1.1765 |
0.04786 |
85 |
72 |
11 |
2 |
2733 |
Guys, I said we needed to scale down |
1.1765 |
0.05070 |
85 |
73 |
9 |
3 |
2734 |
I'm sorry, he can't go to the hearing. Serpents don't have standing. |
1.1765 |
0.05339 |
85 |
74 |
7 |
4 |
2735 |
Hey this venimous viper said he could make this place great again! |
1.1724 |
0.05223 |
87 |
76 |
7 |
4 |
2736 |
Interns truly are the heart and soul of this business. |
1.1707 |
0.04848 |
82 |
70 |
10 |
2 |
2737 |
Welcome to this week's Trump campaign, sir. You're on CNN in five. |
1.1707 |
0.05962 |
82 |
74 |
2 |
6 |
2738 |
Yes the water cooler is down the hall. |
1.1707 |
0.04848 |
82 |
70 |
10 |
2 |
2739 |
It's our new takeover defense. It goes to legal. |
1.1707 |
0.05149 |
82 |
71 |
8 |
3 |
2740 |
Drop everything! There's a report of a giant snake in the ladies room. |
1.1707 |
0.05149 |
82 |
71 |
8 |
3 |
2741 |
No more Harry Potter Time Travel . . . And STOP Bringing Back Souvenirs! |
1.1707 |
0.04527 |
82 |
69 |
12 |
1 |
2742 |
It's conga line, not conger line. |
1.1707 |
0.04848 |
82 |
70 |
10 |
2 |
2743 |
Trump Brand snake oil? Ok, just put it over there in the cage next to the bulls. |
1.1707 |
0.05149 |
82 |
71 |
8 |
3 |
2744 |
Ten more laps without anyone dying and you both get promoted. |
1.1707 |
0.04527 |
82 |
69 |
12 |
1 |
2745 |
So you're the reason all my employees started wearing clothes? |
1.1707 |
0.05149 |
82 |
71 |
8 |
3 |
2746 |
His future here is a slippery slope at best. |
1.1707 |
0.04527 |
82 |
69 |
12 |
1 |
2747 |
Oops, sorry, it wasn't the "lying asp" he wanted us to bring him. |
1.1707 |
0.05149 |
82 |
71 |
8 |
3 |