Contest #512


Cartoon

512


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started 2016-03-08
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued 2016-03-21 (estimated)
Number of captions 4399
Number of responses 43120
Number of participants 759


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 We're pretentious, not ostentatious. 2.2500 0.16801 32 11 2 19
1 Broga meets on the 2nd floor. 2.0000 0.24152 16 7 2 7
2 Please put that back in reception. 1.9000 0.17951 10 2 7 1
3 I told you to bring your own, that's from our lobby. 1.8571 0.17719 14 4 8 2
4 Let her out, Fred. 1.8462 0.24926 13 6 3 4
5 First visit? 1.8462 0.22206 13 5 5 3
6 I'm sorry, but we cancelled the order because Governor Christie has dropped the class. 1.8333 0.24100 12 5 4 3
7 Sorry, that won't fly! 1.8333 0.20719 12 4 6 2
8 I'm sorry, we don't allow performance enhancing rugs. 1.8333 0.16667 12 3 8 1
9 Man cave yoga is in the back. 1.8182 0.26348 11 5 3 3
10 Look, you and I both know that doesn't fly in here. 1.8182 0.29598 11 6 1 4
11 Yoga for idiots is tomorrow. 1.7857 0.21429 14 6 5 3
12 I assume you are new at this. 1.7778 0.32394 9 5 1 3
13 First class? 1.7692 0.23077 13 6 4 3
14 Magic carpet yoga is on the roof 1.7500 0.21760 12 5 5 2
15 We voted to allow the rug, but not the coffee table. 1.7500 0.31339 8 4 2 2
16 If she's actually dead, I don't think yoga can help. 1.7500 0.25000 12 6 3 3
17 First time here? 1.7500 0.17944 12 4 7 1
18 No, I'm pretty sure all of the hotties have their own mats. 1.7500 0.21760 12 5 5 2
19 Our position on this is inflexible. 1.7500 0.31339 8 4 2 2
20 Not if it was the last mat on Earth. 1.7500 0.25000 8 3 4 1
21 Your failure to follow instructions is restricting my infinite bliss. 1.7500 0.25000 12 6 3 3
22 You're sure it's the one you came in with, and not my missing office rug? 1.7500 0.25000 12 6 3 3
23 The rug can stay but those tube socks have got to go. 1.7500 0.27866 12 7 1 4
24 First day? 1.7273 0.27273 11 6 2 3
25 This is just like that time you brought the foam finger to the ballet. 1.7273 0.19498 11 4 6 1
26 These better be natural fibers. 1.7273 0.27273 11 6 2 3
27 Everyone is equally welcome here. But you need to leave. 1.7273 0.27273 11 6 2 3
28 I'm afraid that won't fly 1.7273 0.23706 11 5 4 2
29 Let's say smaller is better sometimes. 1.7273 0.23706 11 5 4 2
30 You must be the new guy. 1.7273 0.19498 11 4 6 1
31 This is a traditional Yoga studio. Polyvinyl Chloride mats only. 1.7273 0.23706 11 5 4 2
32 Normally we use smaller mats, but I'm flexible. 1.7000 0.30000 10 6 1 3
33 You can stay but no grunting or high fiving this time. 1.7000 0.26034 10 5 3 2
34 Unfortunately, we are not flexible on mats. 1.7000 0.21344 10 4 5 1
35 Namaste. Now beat it. 1.7000 0.30000 10 6 1 3
36 The rug is fine. It's the Red Sox cap that offends my chakras. 1.7000 0.26034 10 5 3 2
37 Men always think it's about size. 1.7000 0.26034 10 5 3 2
38 Your first time here? 1.7000 0.26034 10 5 3 2
39 Ok, mansplain this one. 1.7000 0.30000 10 6 1 3
40 Even when you try to do things I love you irritate me. 1.7000 0.26034 10 5 3 2
41 One does not win at yoga. 1.6667 0.25624 12 7 2 3
42 Let me guess, you drive a Hummer 1.6667 0.23570 9 4 4 1
43 Sorry, we don't permit manspreading here. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
44 Sorry, but to free your spirit from the illusory confines of the material world, you'll need our hundred-dollar yoga mat. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
45 Put it back in the foyer. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
46 Persian yoga is down the hall. 1.6667 0.23570 9 4 4 1
47 You must be the guy from Om Depot. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
48 We meditate, not levitate. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
49 This is the Yoga room; Antiques Roadshow is in Studio C. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
50 OK, it stays. But the recliner and the flat-screen have to go. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
51 Very simply, because vinyl mats have been used for millennia. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
52 Yoga doesn't have a shortstop position. 1.6667 0.33333 9 6 0 3
53 I'm sorry, but mats must be 100% unnatural. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
54 I suggest that you assume the Exiting Patron position. 1.6667 0.23570 9 4 4 1
55 Please remove your hat and shoes, and place your mat under the coffee table. 1.6667 0.23570 9 4 4 1
56 I was wrong about yoga being for everyone. 1.6667 0.33333 9 6 0 3
57 Sure you do - and I play Rugby. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
58 It's not me, it's you. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
59 Personal space issues? 1.6667 0.23570 9 4 4 1
60 Dig deep as you contemplate the difference between a rug and a mat. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
61 My guess is that the 8:00 session probably has the best hooters. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
62 This is Power Yoga. Persian Yoga is next door. 1.6667 0.23570 9 4 4 1
63 We have decided to go with the laminate. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
64 There's no such thing as a yoga rug, Jay. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
65 Please sir, we leave our shoes by the door 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
66 You do realize that shoes and socks are not acceptable 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
67 Before we start you're going to have to cut a rug. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
68 And I suppose your name is Aladdin. 1.6667 0.23570 9 4 4 1
69 I think we'd be more comfortable if you took our course online. 1.6667 0.23570 9 4 4 1
70 Stop calling me Jasmine. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
71 Your first pose will be one I call "Restraining Order." 1.6667 0.23570 9 4 4 1
72 Paleo yoga is tomorrow. 1.6667 0.33333 9 6 0 3
73 Broga? 1.6667 0.16667 9 3 6 0
74 I knew the Iran deal was a mistake. 1.6667 0.28868 9 5 2 2
75 Let me guess, you're voting for Trump? 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
76 "What do you mean you killed your wife"? 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
77 Yo Yoga? That's across the street. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
78 Because yoga mats aren't meant to 'tie the room together'. 1.6250 0.18298 8 3 5 0
79 You're calling me 'inflexible'? 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
80 I'm sorry there is no such thing as 'super size' yoga 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
81 You must become one with the exit. 1.6250 0.18298 8 3 5 0
82 First time doing yoga? 1.6250 0.18298 8 3 5 0
83 No, we can't accommodate man spreading 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
84 I'm guessing this is your first time? 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
85 There's no room for manspreading down the eightfold path. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
86 The magic carpet class is upstairs. 1.6250 0.18298 8 3 5 0
87 I think it'll really tie the room together. 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
88 Sorry no hats allowed. 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
89 Come back when you have a higher level of consciousness. 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
90 I suggest you try Pilates. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
91 Unroll my student and leave before I call the police. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
92 I’m not your “dude.” 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
93 I'm sorry, but everyone has to come willingly. 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
94 No, it's not because you're Muslim... 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
95 We are flexible. Just not in that way. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
96 I don't care if it is a magic carpet; it won't help you with the difficult poses. 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
97 Are you by yourself? 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
98 You might want to stick with baseball. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
99 Your first time? I never would have guessed! 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
100 'Downward Dude' isn't a pose. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
101 You can join the class, but no bragging about the thread count. 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
102 The manspreading class is down the hall. 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
103 You'd be surprised how inflexible we can sometimes be. 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
104 I'm sorry, "one with the rug" doesn't start until 4:20 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
105 Looks like you really want to feel the burn. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
106 I see that you're still living with your mother. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
107 Flying lessons are on the Top Floor 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
108 That carpet belongs in the reception area. 1.6250 0.18298 8 3 5 0
109 First time? 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
110 Before we start lets talk about expectations 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
111 Harold, this is just one of the many reasons we've got to break it off. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
112 Body disposal is out back. 1.6250 0.18298 8 3 5 0
113 It smells like your dog has been doing more than downward facing on that thing. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
114 Oh sorry, this is Hatha Yoga. Persian Yoga is tomorrow. 1.6250 0.18298 8 3 5 0
115 It's not the size of your mat, it's the angle of your downward facing dog that matters. 1.6250 0.18298 8 3 5 0
116 Please put that back in the reception area and I will lend you a mat for today. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
117 Fine, as long as your downward dog doesn't bite. 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
118 That wasn't funny when we were dating either 1.6250 0.26305 8 4 3 1
119 Bro-ga doesn't start until 10. 1.6250 0.18298 8 3 5 0
120 Bro Yoga is two doors down. 1.6250 0.32390 8 5 1 2
121 May I suggest you work on your outer self first. 1.6000 0.22111 10 5 4 1
122 Numiskul. 1.5714 0.29738 7 4 2 1
123 This is New York, people don't LIVE in that big of an area. 1.5714 0.29738 7 4 2 1
124 It's not the carpet. It's the hat. 1.5556 0.17568 9 4 5 0
125 Yes, you can do all your exercises facing Mecca. 1.5556 0.29397 9 6 1 2
126 And what state you do hope to attain with that? 1.5556 0.24216 9 5 3 1
127 Welcome to Bow Down Yoga, where we really, really try not to be judgmental. 1.5556 0.24216 9 5 3 1
128 How do you expect to gentrify this neighborhood with that? 1.5556 0.24216 9 5 3 1
129 No, our allotment of floor space is not based on the gender pay gap. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
130 I'm sure it would help you to relax, but you can't smoke that in here. 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
131 You must be the new bro-ga instructor. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
132 You're right. A rug does make it feel like there's no place like "om". 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
133 So the only practice you've had is the 7th inning stretch? 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
134 Only if it flies. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
135 I understand it really ties the room together; it's more an issue of space. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
136 Put the instructor back. . .now. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
137 The new body you get is supposed to be your own. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
138 ...because rubber mats don't have mites and chiggers 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
139 You're new here, aren't you? 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
140 I don't care if it really ties your mind, body, and spirit together. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
141 When I said that it was okay to bring a big, bushy carpet I was talking to the women in the class. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
142 The Yoga for Dummies class starts at noon. 1.5000 0.22361 6 3 3 0
143 No, the complaints have not been about your baseball cap. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
144 Fred, it's actually the socks. 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
145 Ok, but would you mind being anti-establishment in the corner? 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
146 Perhaps you'd be more comfortable at Party Down Yoga? 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
147 It doesn't need to tie the room together. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
148 And you CAN'T listen to the ballgame either... 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
149 Let me guess, you have a coupon. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
150 Sorry, we do not allow rugrats. 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
151 Is this because I brought kale salad to your Super Bowl party? 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
152 Oh yes, this was an empty lot not too long ago... all yoga studios and coffee shops now 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
153 Sorry, we don't teach flying carpet. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
154 I'm surprisingly OK with the hat, wrist bands, and rug, but I just can't look past the tube socks. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
155 Do you have a note from your wife? 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
156 A "patina of cat hair" does not count as "chi". 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
157 We get it. You're straight. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
158 The rug can stay,but that hat has to go 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
159 I'm here for the Persian yoga session. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
160 You're really challenging my bliss right now. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
161 Sorry, Bow Wow Yoga doesn't meet here anymore. 1.5000 0.28868 4 2 2 0
162 I'm sorry, this studio doesn't allow manspreading. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
163 I can't believe you wore that hat here. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
164 No, I've never heard of the grand master Yogi Berra. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
165 No, Kevin, this is the opposite of 'trying.'' 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
166 So, I understand you were home schooled. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
167 Well, okay....if it's from India. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
168 Sorry, we're not that flexible. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
169 Bigger isn't always better, Ron. 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
170 You weren't listening. I said I need a hug 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
171 Very funny. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
172 Om-M-G 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
173 This is Amazon's best selling mat? 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
174 I'm sorry, we only do spiritual cleansing. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
175 The light in me honors the clueless in you. Namaste. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
176 You have to stop asking the girls to join your "magic mat." 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
177 Sorry, Persian Yoga for Beginners is on Wednesdays. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
178 The dress code is sort of implied. 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
179 Beat it! 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
180 My boss said you can use the rug if you promise to keep your clothes on this time. 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
181 Clawing my way up this downward dog eat downward dog world. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
182 Here, this has seen one too many downward squatting dogs. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
183 Will you be facing East? 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
184 Put the body over with the others. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
185 I'm fine with your choice of yoga mat. But the table and chairs will have to stay outside. 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
186 Your nonconformity does not conform to our nonconformity. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
187 There's no manspreading in this class! 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
188 Most of the other boyfriends just wait outside. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
189 Red neck power yoga is down the hall. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
190 I'm very sorry sir but we don't have a first-class section. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
191 I saw that rug in the lobby 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
192 So, new to yoga? 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
193 I said carpe diem! 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
194 Alladin's class is cancelled. He had to take off. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
195 Try to think of yoga as everything that you are not. 1.5000 0.18898 8 4 4 0
196 Delivery? Oh, the coroner is next door. 1.5000 0.32733 8 6 0 2
197 The "Broga" class isn't until 6pm. 1.5000 0.34157 6 4 1 1
198 Sorry, you can't wear sneakers in here. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
199 That's right - if you take up two spaces, you pay double the fee. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
200 But 'home court advantage' does nothing for your practice. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
201 What it is it with men and their obsession with size? 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
202 You're right- we don't need to do everything together. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
203 That's Jeannie's mat. 1.5000 0.22361 6 3 3 0
204 That's the worst pick-up line I've ever heard. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
205 It smells like your down dog peed on it. 1.5000 0.26726 8 5 2 1
206 The Corpse Pose does not require a corpse. 1.4444 0.24216 9 6 2 1
207 Unless you can make it fly, it's still a no. 1.4444 0.24216 9 6 2 1
208 You'll have to remove your hat. 1.4444 0.24216 9 6 2 1
209 Do you take a couch to a baseball game? 1.4444 0.24216 9 6 2 1
210 The manspreading class is at 4 pm. 1.4444 0.24216 9 6 2 1
211 Maybe after class, I can take you on a magic carpet ride? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
212 What do you mean, 'Make Yoga Great Again'? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
213 That's not how we roll. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
214 I'm sorry the magic carpet class just ended 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
215 We're not THAT flexible. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
216 You here for a yoga class or to hide a body? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
217 Carpetbagger. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
218 Just fly in? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
219 And is your whole team going to join you? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
220 Yes, we are flexible but.... 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
221 You didn't have an allergy to latex last night. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
222 We like our foods natural but our mats synthetic. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
223 How hard is it to Google ‘yoga mat’? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
224 Let me guess -- just got divorced? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
225 I am afraid your area rug will invade my personal space 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
226 Is it moth proof 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
227 I don't care if it was your grandmother's. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
228 I signed up for the Premium Membership 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
229 Believe me, Bob, nobody will be bending down into your personal space. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
230 Is this your first class? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
231 Not a prayer. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
232 You must have learned yoga in California. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
233 I'm sure you'd be more comfortable at our sister studio: Bro Down Yoga. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
234 Persian yoga was at 2pm 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
235 If, as you say, this is a magic carpet, then it's not a yoga mat, is it? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
236 The magic carpet class has been canceled. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
237 Oh, you'll feel the burn alright. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
238 We don't allow wool mats in our vegan studio. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
239 That will be useful for when you pass out and we have to move you. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
240 Okay, okay, I'll stop calling you "Yoga Matt". 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
241 I'm guessing you haven't been here before. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
242 I'm sorry but you can't take naps here anymore. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
243 Who is taking the class, you or Cleopatra? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
244 Trump Yoga is upstairs. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
245 You're a little too hipster to participate 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
246 We don't allow man-spreading here. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
247 I'm sorry sir, we do not offer high intensity yoga classes. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
248 We don't need carpet braggers! 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
249 Bet you bring a typewriter to Starbucks too. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
250 Well Mister Enjoys Yoga and Long Walks on the Beach, there's no Kathy here. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
251 The hat isn't the problem. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
252 No, the flying carpet class is down the hall. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
253 That's not my area. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
254 It's unorthodox, but I suppose a magic carpet would work as well as a mat. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
255 This is your problem Dave..you always have to be different. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
256 No must stay. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
257 First time with yoga? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
258 Why the shoes? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
259 No,the other ladies would not like to share your mat with you. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
260 The Dude wants his rug back. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
261 You're putting me in a tough position here, Greg. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
262 Jules, did you see a sign on the door that read 'Dead Nigger Storage'? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
263 Actually, size does matter. So does smell. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
264 Yoga for Dummies class is next door. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
265 Have you considered joining our pre-beginners class? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
266 Sorry...no larger than 4 X 3, one color and no intrusive designs. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
267 I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I don't think this relationship is going to work. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
268 Sorry, but the "Angry White" yoga class has been cancelled until after the Republican debates. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
269 Feeling a bit inadequate today? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
270 Why don't you start with the man cave, couch potato, reclining sloth pose. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
271 Extreme yoga is on the second floor. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
272 You're like some guy with an RV camper going backpacking. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
273 That isn't how we roll! 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
274 I don't care if it really ties the room together, you need a yoga mat. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
275 I'm sorry but yoga is not a spectator sport. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
276 Blue collar yoga is upstairs. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
277 Our policies are not flexible. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
278 Sorry, we don't do the Seventh Inning Stretch. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
279 Sorry, Persian yoga is next door. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
280 Leave your sarcasm at the door. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
281 I guess in some cases we do judge here. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
282 You know, size doesn't matter? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
283 It's not about the rug, Lance. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
284 Sorry, there's really no such thing as a 'pick-up game' in yoga. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
285 First time I presume... 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
286 This is my assertive pose. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
287 Your mantra should be Hoover 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
288 This is Hatha Yoga, sir, not Haha Yoga. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
289 You know, yoga just might not be your thing. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
290 If you can make that carpet fly, yes. Otherwise, no. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
291 Are you here for a yoga class or are you moving in? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
292 I'm here to set up for Aladdin's 2 o'clock. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
293 What I told you last night about size does not apply here 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
294 Compensate much? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
295 I am sorry, this is not Persian Yoga. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
296 Well, maybe Yoga isn't for everyone after all. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
297 Sorry, but for our next class, that needs to Namaste at home. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
298 This must be your first and last time. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
299 No, the mat doesn't need to match the size of your ego. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
300 We're a hot yoga studio and you're not hot. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
301 We don't roll that way. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
302 No frills yoga is down the hall 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
303 Goodbye Ted. I'm sorry. It's not your energy, it's mine. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
304 How thoughtful. You've brought enough yoga mat to share with the whole class. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
305 Sit on it. Lie on it. Just don't try to smoke it. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
306 The mosque is two doors down. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
307 We get it. Your hands are big, the rug is big, just take of the Make America Great hat so we can get started. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
308 We don't practice the couch potato position here. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
309 That was an excellent 'Sup Dog.' 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
310 You're absolutely certain this mat was grass-fed? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
311 Your first yoga class? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
312 I guess we need more targeted marketing. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
313 I see you've mastered the dickhead pose. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
314 This isn't Antique Roadshow. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
315 I'm normally pretty flexible, but I just can't bend on this. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
316 I've never heard of the "hibernating bear" position. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
317 Am. I. Speaking. Slowly. Enough. For. You? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
318 Well, at least you'll feel the burn. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
319 You're welcome to use that rug, but I'll have to charge you for two people. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
320 The difference is your Chakras know the difference. That's the difference. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
321 You forgot the coffee and end tables 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
322 I'm not that flexible. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
323 Listen Aladdin, this is a yoga class, not a flight school. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
324 Sorry, Bro Down Yoga is across the street. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
325 I suppose re-purposing IS ecofriendly 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
326 Looks like someone took corpse pose too seriously. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
327 Compensating, are we? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
328 It's BOW DOWN Yoga - not BEDOIN Yoga! 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
329 If there's a body in there, you have to leave. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
330 We don't accept Groupons. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
331 We're promoting mat diversity. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
332 So you intend to go right from chair pose to your noon prayer? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
333 No manspreading. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
334 We're here to stretch, Jimmy, not to fly. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
335 You must be our lucky 'free trial' winner. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
336 Persian yoga is Tuesdays and Thursdays. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
337 I'm not sure it's relevant that the rug store was going out of business. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
338 No, naptime is across the hall. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
339 Sorry, manspreading isn't allowed here. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
340 Wanda's Magic Carpet Ride is a block farther on the left. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
341 Tell Mr. Trump he can use a regular mat like everyone else. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
342 Just how much personal space do you need? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
343 I'm guessing this is your first day of yoga ? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
344 Yeah, this did used to be a rug store....... 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
345 Namaleave. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
346 You know you're paying for an extra slot, right? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
347 It's a no-fly zone, Alladin. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
348 This is Ashram Yoga, not afghan Yoga 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
349 Magic carpet riding lessons are Thursday evenings at 8:00. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
350 I just feel I need my own space for a while. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
351 No, we can't teach your magic carpet to fly. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
352 I don’t care if disallowing an Indian rug is antithetical. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
353 Unless that's magic, it's not gonna fly here. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
354 What? Are you pimping your ride? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
355 This is hot yoga. The rug burn is tomorrow. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
356 I am impressed. You rolled your own. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
357 "Naps and snacks are not permitted' 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
358 This is your first time, isn't it? 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
359 It's not the rug that concerns me. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
360 Normally I'd bend over backwards... 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
361 We're not as flexible as you might think. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
362 This just means for our fishing trip next week, I get to bring whatever I want. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
363 That won't fly in here. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
364 Fine, just don't get a rug burn 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
365 Sorry, but our yoga class for furniture movers is next week. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
366 Yes, we are all in this together, but you do realize it's $1,468 per square foot don't you? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
367 My problem? Let's start with your hat. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
368 The spirit within me can't believe the spirit within you is here. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
369 I love that you're protesting the commercialization of yoga culture, Jeremy. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
370 Yo. Go. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
371 No, we can't be flexible about this. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
372 I see you're angry with establishment yoga. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
373 Have you seen the instructor? 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
374 Please find your breath elsewhere. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
375 Don't Judge a Yogi By Their Mat 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
376 Sorry. The flying carpet yoga class doesn’t start until next week. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
377 Maybe you'd be happier at Cousin Eddie's Yoga Barn. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
378 We don't do man's spread here. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
379 It's yoga, yog-a, not yog-i. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
380 Well it's better than Mr. Drew's bear skin. 1.4286 0.20203 7 4 3 0
381 Enlightenment happens AFTER conforming to social norms. 1.4286 0.29738 7 5 1 1
382 Your passive-aggressive schtick is wearing thin. Please go home and make dinner for the kids, okay? 1.4000 0.22111 10 7 2 1
383 Yoga-tta be kidding me. 1.4000 0.40000 5 4 0 1
384 What cha got there? Gonna take a magic carpet ride? 1.4000 0.40000 5 4 0 1
385 No, the Persian class was this morning. 1.4000 0.40000 5 4 0 1
386 You'll have to smoke that outside. 1.4000 0.24495 5 3 2 0
387 A larger mat will not help you master yoga any faster. 1.4000 0.40000 5 4 0 1
388 All yoga mats are oriental rugs, but not all oriental rugs are yoga mats. 1.4000 0.40000 5 4 0 1
389 No carpets allowed. Try fringe yoga down the street. 1.3846 0.14044 13 8 5 0
390 Even if your downward dog is a Persian mastiff, you can't use it. 1.3750 0.26305 8 6 1 1
391 Let me guess--first time doing yoga? 1.3750 0.18298 8 5 3 0
392 Please take your "special rug" and move your asanas out of here. 1.3750 0.26305 8 6 1 1
393 Murder victim disposal is next door. 1.3750 0.18298 8 5 3 0
394 We are not interested in making yoga great again. 1.3750 0.18298 8 5 3 0
395 And I say you can't nama-'stay'. 1.3750 0.26305 8 6 1 1
396 The first thing you have to learn is that less is more. 1.3750 0.18298 8 5 3 0
397 Let's try to keep that mantra below stadium-noise level today, Chad. 1.3750 0.18298 8 5 3 0
398 Actually, the rug is cool, but the socks gave to go. 1.3750 0.26305 8 6 1 1
399 They stopped offering casual Fridays months ago. 1.3750 0.18298 8 5 3 0
400 Thanks for leaving the beer keg outside. 1.3750 0.18298 8 5 3 0
401 Please don't bring it again. It smells like one too many downward dogs. 1.3750 0.26305 8 6 1 1
402 Where do you want me to put President Trump's yoga mat? 1.3750 0.26305 8 6 1 1
403 First time? I can always spot the unbalanced. 1.3750 0.18298 8 5 3 0
404 It was given to me by a Yoga Genie 1.3636 0.20328 11 8 2 1
405 I was here first! 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
406 The studio does not allow astro-turf, you need a yoga mat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
407 Unfortunately, nobody here goes by Jasmine! 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
408 I see you are keeping it old school with the handwoven yoga mat 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
409 OK. You've made your point. I never should have forced you to come to yoga class. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
410 For the last time, sir...there is no way you can do yoga in those shorts. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
411 Assume the turn-around-and-get-the-hell-out-of-here pose, please. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
412 You're definitely going to feel the burn. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
413 But that rug really tied the room together. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
414 Sir, your wife wasn't finished meditating. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
415 Sorry. Today is Low Lunge. Plow Pose is next week. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
416 I'm new too. Not as new as you. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
417 Why must males always have bigger equipment? 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
418 No, we do not do sleepovers. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
419 No, this is about exercise, not obedience. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
420 Hmmm. Let me meditate on that one. ... 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
421 That's what happens when you buy your mat from Craigslist. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
422 Unless there is a more limber body in there, you can leave. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
423 I'm just saying, there may be an issue with finding your inner balance. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
424 It can't make your team win. But you will care less if they lose. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
425 No, just hot yoga. Try 31st between Park and Lex for Persian. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
426 This is for exercise, not prayer. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
427 So first we breath slowly. And we are mindful. Then, we talk about your mat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
428 No, dude, I don't think it ties this room together at all. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
429 Please understand there will be a $25 excess baggage fee. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
430 I don't want to practice my downward dog pose next to a rug that smells like dog. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
431 Fine . . . but when we go to the ballgame I get to take your recliner 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
432 Shoes not allowed. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
433 Henry, I never doubted that your's is bigger than mine. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
434 Namaste Lance. You are the first Texan to try our Groupon. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
435 This is "Bow Down Yoga". The "Moving Man Yoga" is next door 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
436 A magic mat, you say? Can I use it to get fit without exerting myself? 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
437 Ixnay on the rug, ixnay on the Twister mat rolled up inside. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
438 Size does matter 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
439 Carpet and mat are not synonyms. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
440 Thanks but it goes at the front door. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
441 You will never reach Nirvana with that thing. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
442 You know we have loaner mats, right? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
443 Your third eye must be pretty farsighted. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
444 Do you even yoga, bro? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
445 I don't feel I'm ready to start a family. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
446 You misunderstood, I asked for a hug! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
447 This is kundalini, Persian yoga is down the street. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
448 Namaste Dammit 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
449 I liked you better when you carried a blanket, Linus. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
450 Carpetbagger Yoga is across the street. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
451 Pardon me, but if you don't have a more traditional yoga mat, get your asana out of here. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
452 In yoga, unlike politics, size doesn't matter. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
453 This is beginning yoga. We don't have a pathetically clueless yoga class. 1.3333 0.16667 9 6 3 0
454 Om my God. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
455 Sorry, but at this studio we consider 'throw-ga' to be a radical fringe movement. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
456 I don't care that Mr. Trump can only use a "Persian", we don't allow those anymore' We've sent all our "0rientals " back to their original countries. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
457 It's nice that you're finally making an effort to share my interests, Mike, but maybe you should start with something else. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
458 The mat is fine. It's your socks. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
459 It's not the length, it's the girth. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
460 There's a strict 'No tube sock' policy here at Bow Down Yoga. Now clear out of my spot! 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
461 Your mat is simply too large. Please stop calling me "inflexible". 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
462 You're about to learn the 'upward salute' stance. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
463 It's lovely, but we'll have to charge you for two spaces. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
464 Beginning Yoga starts next week. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
465 We only take plastic. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
466 You needn't compensate here. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
467 Put her back. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
468 Did you want restorative or remedial? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
469 The carpet we can handle. But your outfit... uber non-spiritual. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
470 I don't know... just throw her skinny ass in the East River, or a dumpster. Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here? 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
471 Take a deep breath, then tell me what on earth you were thinking. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
472 Flying carpet class is upstairs 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
473 Let me guess. Your downward dog is a Great Dane. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
474 Snug as a Bug Yoga is two doors down. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
475 You say you're an intermediate to advanced level?? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
476 It's not the mat,it's your socks. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
477 Are you overcompensating for something? 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
478 I don't care if you were snug as a bug in a rug, no one snores in my class! 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
479 Overcompensating. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
480 If someone dies during class, your job is to dispose of the body. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
481 Well it smells like a dog crouched on it. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
482 2 words: Rug Burn. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
483 Sorry, the experimental tantra yoga studio is the next building over. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
484 Since this is your first time, we'll be flexible. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
485 I don't have an "Aladdin" on the class roster. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
486 Yogi's gym is down the street. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
487 I would have to disagree. There is no such thing as a yoga area rug. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
488 Share your pad? I'm touched. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
489 Sorry. The do yoga Downton-Abbey-style is on Thursdays. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
490 Yours always has to be bigger doesn't it? 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
491 Nah! Musty 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
492 At least you made an effort this time. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
493 I need my space 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
494 Our ancient practice requires a polypropylene mat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
495 Nobody needs their carpet laid. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
496 No carpetbaggers allowed. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
497 Bow down refers to yoga positions, not to you. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
498 Other non-recommended props include two cinder blocks and a jockstrap. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
499 How typically male! Territorial! 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
500 I'm sorry. The flying carpet class is on Wednesdays. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
501 Cut the rug. Dude. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
502 What do you mean your downward dog isn't housebroken? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
503 I said bring a mat to help "contemplate" not "compensate!" 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
504 That's a bazaar yoga mat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
505 Because our people come from Lilliput, son. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
506 You're lucky I'm flexible. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
507 OK already. So size does matter. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
508 Fair trade? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
509 Your first pose will be the Dead Man's Stretch. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
510 You don't get that much space. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
511 Flying class is at 6:30 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
512 NASCAR yoga is next door. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
513 No Charles, I definitely said lululemon -- not Home Depot. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
514 I thought we agreed I'd get the rug. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
515 Spinning is next door. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
516 Downward dog is not the same as downward mobility. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
517 Costco will always try to sell you more than you need! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
518 Is there a body in there? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
519 Yo, broheim - bro-ga is next door. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
520 For greater harmony and unity, we require a matte blue mat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
521 We're feeling some conflict between our spartan mats and your Persian carpet. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
522 Your "feng shui" is blocking my energy flow! 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
523 That goes by the door 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
524 We're not giving flying lessons. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
525 I don't care if it's got Cleopatra in it, you have to use ours. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
526 I think you're looking for Yogi Berra Yoga down the block. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
527 I thought manspreading was bad enough on the subway! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
528 Please take your rug and beat it! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
529 Persian yoga is at 9. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
530 We don't allow performance enhancing rugs. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
531 Carpet diem? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
532 Broga? Yes, we embrace that in the basement. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
533 Okay, you win. We can go back to doing less things together. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
534 The man-cave workout offers free cable and complimentary bags of Doritos. 1.3333 0.40825 3 2 1 0
535 You're such a Darwinian. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
536 Is that the rug from the studio lobby? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
537 In your case 80% of success is NOT showing up. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
538 Oh, one piece of advice- in here, the smaller the rug the greater the prestige 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
539 Just lunge your way over to the yoga temple at the truck stop. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
540 Yoga hasn't changed. You have. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
541 Yes, Dick, bringing a 5' x 8' carpet to yoga class is a form of manspreading. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
542 I told you not to wear socks 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
543 Sorry, but yoga class is about conformity if nothing else. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
544 Great first step. Now breathe. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
545 No, I don't believe a magic rug will make the poses easier. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
546 So, I take you're new to yoga? 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
547 Maybe EAST 23rd? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
548 We're Reform Yoga here. You want the Orthodox place across the street. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
549 We just do yoga here. The genie has moved his flying carpet classes to the cloud. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
550 You're new. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
551 Governor Christie's Mat Must Face Trump Tower, Not NJ! 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
552 Get serious, Ali Baba. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
553 You're here to ogle women, aren't you? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
554 Thank you for leaving your couch and TV home this time. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
555 Actually, the bro-ga studio is next door. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
556 Did your wife make you come ? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
557 How many times do I have to tell you Joe? Size really doesn't matter. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
558 Already I'm thinking this class might not be right for you. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
559 Your yoga mat really ties the room together. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
560 We don't do casual Fridays. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
561 As long as it doesn't start to fly during class... 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
562 An "oriental" rug? Sir, a yoga studio is no place for cultural appropriation. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
563 I need it cleaned and back for my 2:40 to LA. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
564 Actually, I can shove my head there 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
565 I don't care how big Trump's yoga mat is - I still say he has small hands. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
566 We don't care how you do it in South Dakota. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
567 OK, I get it it, you don't want to take couple's yoga. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
568 Sorry, that mat won't fly here. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
569 "Downward dog" isn't what you think it is. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
570 Bro-ga is tomorrow. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
571 I said the "practice" was oriental. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
572 Full-Contact Yoga is next door. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
573 You'll have to pay for 2 spots. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
574 Next class, please don't fly around the room so much. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
575 You'll never achieve enlightenment with those socks and shoes. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
576 I wanted ruggedly handsome, not handsomely rugged. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
577 First yoga date? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
578 I’m afraid I have to call you on the carpet. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
579 Most expensive mat is not a part of our program. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
580 Good flight? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
581 . . . and then after your first free session, if you want to sign up, we'll require some form of enlightenment. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
582 No hats allowed until October. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
583 Let me explain how many different ways you're not going to meet any girls here. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
584 The yogic flying class took off 30 minutes ago. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
585 This is the last time you sneak in your yoga buddy. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
586 Breathe deeply before you respond. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
587 No rug, and no throne either. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
588 "Too bad about the size of your penis". 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
589 So when you unfurl it's emblazoned with a big Chicago Cubs logo? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
590 That's so uncool; and besides your ex left 15 minutes ago. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
591 No, I will NOT come home to vacuum. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
592 Excellent mountain pose. Now make like a tree. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
593 When will you learn that size doesn't matter?! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
594 You may have a rug, but you don't have a prayer. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
595 No, I don't want to go on a magic carpet ride. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
596 This is Hatha. You want Berra. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
597 Just because it's from India, that doesn't make it a yoga mat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
598 Wash it in cold, then dry it on high. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
599 Trump Yoga is across the street. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
600 This is Bikram. Persian is next door. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
601 Yes, matspreading is a thing. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
602 How inadequate is inadequate enough? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
603 It's not enough that I have to deal with the hat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
604 Magic carpet ride? Nice try. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
605 Man-spreading is at 11:30. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
606 I'm sorry, you may not nameste. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
607 MAT, Mr. Donaldson, mat! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
608 No shoes and hats sir. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
609 Yoga for yokels is on the third floor. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
610 You're early. Flying Carpet yoga starts tomorrow. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
611 Home Depot is next door. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
612 'Abdullah's is one floor up.' 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
613 You must be looking for the beginner's class down the hall 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
614 Sorry but the Magic Carpet Dream Studio is two flights up. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
615 The oriental class begins at 3 o'clock. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
616 Up, up and away is not your Mantra! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
617 Sir, you'll have to remove your footwear. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
618 I don't care if your name is 'Big Matt,' your Chakra today is 'scram.' 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
619 OK Jack, forget everything I said about size. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
620 We're open to everyone, except you. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
621 I’m not familiar with Bubba’s House of Yoga but I think you’ll find we do things a little differently here. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
622 I'm sorry, your gift certificate declined. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
623 No, Hell-Yeah Yoga is on EAST 37th St. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
624 We don't welcome Republicans. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
625 No, I'm sorry sir, but I can show you a position called "downward facing dork". 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
626 Military yoga is down the hall. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
627 That's remarkable, Harold, but we actually don't do any flying in this beginners' class. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
628 We're full today, our next class is never. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
629 You must be here for Aladdin. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
630 Let's start with the cap and work our way down. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
631 The rug is ok but the couch stays outside 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
632 And no, I don’t think we need to tie the room together. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
633 Why do guys always have to have the biggest? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
634 "Nice - but you know, not everything has to be about size all the time'... 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
635 Heck of a doobie Mr. Anderson. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
636 Size does matter! Sure, I''l share your mat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
637 Sure, yours is bigger than mine. Now, let's see you do a Pungu Mayurasana! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
638 Nope. It's not the same thing, at all. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
639 No Manspreading Here! 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
640 We do yoga, we don't do perceptions of yoga. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
641 We don't tolerate baseball caps. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
642 I don't care if you're the Prince of Persia, you can't wear shoes in here. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
643 I'm sorry, but this is a rug-free zone. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
644 Sorry sir, but we only allow 18 square feet of Karma per person. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
645 I think that you're looking for Yogi Berra. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
646 You're gonna need a smaller mat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
647 A flying carpet will not help you achieve eagle pose. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
648 It isn't the rug or the clothes. It's the trash-talk. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
649 I don't care if it makes you feel more at Om. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
650 "Magic Carpet Yoga" is across the street 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
651 You say 'authentic'; I say 'hygiene'. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
652 No, Imma Stay is not our greeting. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
653 The victim's blood evidently was not "O" Positive, so we can't accept the donation! 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
654 Extreme Yoga is up the street. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
655 I'm sorry, they only use this space as a flea market on Sundays 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
656 Antiques Roadshow is Thursday. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
657 I didn't say it had to be YUUUGE. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
658 I'm not allowed to tell you where to put it. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
659 We don't do that kind of stretching. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
660 Sorry, Oriental Yoga is two doors down. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
661 Namaste, Millenial. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
662 You're gonna feel a lot better, but you're not gonna fly. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
663 Only if you can make it fly. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
664 That looks like a downward dog pee stain. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
665 No, I would not like to share a mat with you. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
666 I don't care if your mat is 'really old skool'...not in my studio. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
667 Mixed metaphors are unwelcome in this space. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
668 My personal space is rather large. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
669 Does your mother know you took it? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
670 We tend to be minimalists. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
671 Is this some kind of strange nod to Brie Larson? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
672 No. I don't want to see the drapes. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
673 Your flying really disrupts the class. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
674 Yes, I did say yoga could be magical, but you won't be needing that carpet. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
675 Mr. Trump's session will be in Studio "B" 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
676 Hopefully, this week when you unroll your mat, a body won't tumble out again. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
677 This class may not be big enough for the both of us. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
678 I said you 'may not stay'—not 'namaste.' 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
679 "We don't give flying lessons here!' 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
680 We're all so impressed to hear your yoga skills are "yuge." 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
681 You must be looking for Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoga down the street. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
682 I think we need to go over the ground rules. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
683 Sorry, no nap rugs. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
684 The 70's shag remnant is safe but the tube socks have to go ! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
685 "Artisanal Yoga" is not a thing. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
686 Thanks, but yoga is really more of a solitary sport. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
687 That's not the usual workout rug, but we're flexible. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
688 I just came back from India. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
689 I don't care if there was a carpet store here. You still can't return it. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
690 Don't be surprised if I show up at your office with an equally ludicrous unsolicited recommendation. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
691 Size doesn't really matter 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
692 The advanced classes are on Wednesday. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
693 No, we don't keep score. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
694 inhale deeply….exhale slowly……leave quietly 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
695 The Downward Mobility class meets on Tuesdays. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
696 We don’t shag here. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
697 Your name is Matt. You’re old school and prefer rugs. Do I have that right, Matt? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
698 I don't care if your dad is a rug dealer. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
699 Put that back in the lobby - then go home. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
700 Who are you calling a "poser"?! 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
701 Does this look like 'Yoga for Bros?' 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
702 I'm sorry. Oriental yoga got moved to next Tuesday. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
703 Just like a guy. You have to have the biggest one. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
704 I'm sorry sir, we do not permit man-spreading at this facility. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
705 First day of retirement? 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
706 The Dude lives downstairs. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
707 Mixed doubles? Good luck with that. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
708 Sir , It's Bow Down not Bedouin Yoga . 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
709 Yes, that's a classy, elegant, and luxurious mat, Mr. Trump, but it still won't fit. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
710 You can't be serious...TUBE SOCKS? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
711 Perhaps you could come back when I'm not here. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
712 Okay, forget everything I said about getting in touch with your inner self. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
713 Well, I'd recommend a smaller mat for next time, and saying"namaste" instead of "Let's go, Red Sox!" 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
714 Clear your mind, not your living room. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
715 Sorry, Extreme Yoga is on Tuesdays 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
716 Overcompensating much? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
717 Could you please center it? And yourself? 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
718 Well, it's better than last week's sleeping bag. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
719 Don't even try to say "Nemaste". 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
720 No, you do not need an oriental rug for tai chi. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
721 Your spot next to the fireplace. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
722 No, you can't demonstrate the sleepy-time pose. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
723 Will you be meditating or flying today, sir? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
724 Fly home on your magic carpet, and don't come back without a yoga mat. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
725 Have you considered magic carpet flight school? 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
726 It's not a competition, Larry. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
727 It's not the size of the mat that's important. It's how you use it. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
728 Actually we don't have 'Casual Friday' at Bow Down Yoga. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
729 You look like a poser. And I don't mean the good kind. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
730 The bro-ga class meets on Tuesdays. 1.3333 0.33333 6 5 0 1
731 The flying carpet studio is next door. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
732 Yes, we can help with lack of humility issues. 1.3333 0.21082 6 4 2 0
733 Make yourself at Om, Bill. 1.3000 0.15275 10 7 3 0
734 Excuse me, deliveries are through the rear entrance only. 1.3000 0.21344 10 8 1 1
735 First, I must thank you for leaving the recliner and TV at home this week. 1.3000 0.15275 10 7 3 0
736 You still have to take off your socks 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
737 For the last time, no. And stop having pizzas delivered during class, too. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
738 Sorry, hats aren't allowed. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
739 This isn’t Brooklyn, there are rules. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
740 It's yoga, not Alladin 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
741 I appreciate that you wove it yourself but it is not the standard size. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
742 Please be more flexible. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
743 We have one rule here--No fringe" 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
744 Stop trying to sneak her in! 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
745 No, sorry, it's not a whole new world yet. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
746 I know you're trying, Jeff, but I just don't think you'll find inner peace with that outfit and mat. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
747 Your safe space is intruding on my safe space. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
748 Are you trying to compensate for something? 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
749 Don’t be surprised if you get called on the carpet someday. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
750 Lounge chair, pillows, tv and a fridge are extra. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
751 And, it's Namaste, not "have a nice day". 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
752 Planning on staying a while? 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
753 Yo - GUH. Not Yo-gi. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
754 Spilling grape juice on your rug does not qualify it as a sticky mat. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
755 Moving in? 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
756 Was your mother a large woman? 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
757 I told you last week that you couldn't wear your shoes in here! 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
758 She held the Kapotasana pose too long. The body's in the small studio. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
759 I'm sure it is Old School but I'm still charging you double. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
760 I'm sure it is magic, but I still need my own space. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
761 You're looking for Man Cave Yoga next door. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
762 New here? 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
763 What so I'm no longer welcome here with my yoga carpet? 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
764 Let me guess, your first time here? 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
765 I hope your downward dog is housebroken? 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
766 You'll learn to surrender your "body, mind and heart". And with any luck, the outfit. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
767 It may very well be a vintage hoverboard but it's still banned. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
768 I said yoga mat, not Yoda mat. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
769 I don't care if its made of all natural fibers. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
770 Your rug is fine.. but the socks........... 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
771 The advanced class is downstairs. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
772 It's about freeing your body, not tying the room together. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
773 Size doesn't matter, it's how you use it. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
774 Just find a spot,Aladdin. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
775 This is just like when you brought that pool cue to the batting cages. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
776 I don't care if you can do the Destroyer of the Universe pose, your mat's still too big. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
777 No snoring this time. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
778 Flying carpet class? One flight up. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
779 This class is 'waiting room only.' Just like your rug. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
780 That looks big enough to hide our instructor's body. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
781 In yoga, bigger is not always better. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
782 Not surprisingly, you have established the limit of yoga's capacity to alter one's life force. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
783 Feel free to leave your yoga mat camouflage at the door. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
784 Size does not matter 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
785 'Sweat & Fleas Yoga' is down the street. Try there. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
786 No, I would not like to join you on your magic carpet. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
787 I'm guessing it's your first time... 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
788 No, Arabian Knights yoga is upstairs. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
789 Just make sure your downward facing dog doesn't have an accident. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
790 Sir, I'm sad to see that the Occupy Yoga movement didn't fully take off, but you need to leave. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
791 Oh, just keep it. My Ex, Aladdin, left it. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
792 Yo Ga. Not Yo Gi. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
793 You need to be spiritual and grounded while still acting all superior. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
794 If you want to impress women, next time just do the stretches without grunting 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
795 No..... Aladdin Yoga is NEXT Tuesday. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
796 Let's start with the issue of the potato chips falling off your rung. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
797 Here's your tip; enlightenment comes from within. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
798 I think Mr. Trump's class is across the hall. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
799 And the beer cooler is also not really okay.... Namaste? 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
800 That's not what I meant when I said you should explore oriental culture through yoga. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
801 We bow towards Madison Avenue, not Mecca. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
802 I'm sorry, Bro-ga is next door. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
803 on this episode of "Fragile Masculinity" ... 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
804 That thing stinks worse than anyone's feet. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
805 Size does matter here. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
806 I know this is supposed to be a couple's activity, but just pretend you are here alone, ok? 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
807 The Lazy-boy and media center have to go, too. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
808 Aladdin the musical is across the street. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
809 Dude, it smells like somebody peed on it. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
810 The flying club is next door. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
811 Sorry, Sir, the flight school is next door. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
812 I don't care what kind of a carpet it is you can't fly it here 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
813 Yoga for idiots is in the next studio. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
814 This is the advanced class; Paleo-yoga is next week. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
815 Looks like you're here to nama-stay. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
816 Using a carpet as a mat is somehow endearing 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
817 A Presidents' Day sale is not an excuse for tardiness! 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
818 Our advanced class is in the next room. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
819 I'm sorry, you haven't got a prayer here. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
820 I don't see how it's my fault that your downward-facing dog made a mess on your carpet. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
821 There is no such thing as "broga." 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
822 Even if you have expanded your consciousness, you do not need such a large yoga mat that looks more like a rug. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
823 The bro-ga class was moved to 2:30. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
824 Hats are not allowed. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
825 This is your very first class, right? 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
826 Do you have any injuries I should know about? One to your head, perhaps? 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
827 You're obviously compensating for something. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
828 Sorry, no manspreading allowed. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
829 I don't care if it really ties the room together! 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
830 Let's start by unrolling your wife. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
831 Use whatever you want. We're flexible. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
832 I guess there's more than one way to carpet-bomb. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
833 We'd have to charge you six times for the space. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
834 Yes, but is it fair trade? 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
835 That's not exactly what I meant by "orient your mat." 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
836 that won't fly in this class 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
837 We actually can afford to cover the entire floor. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
838 Something tells me you weren't entirely truthful in your Tinder profile. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
839 What idiot told you we carpet bomb during this session ? 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
840 Mat's OK. Sending out for beer and pizza not so much. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
841 It's perfect for our locker room. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
842 The sign at the door clearly says no shoes or socks allowed 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
843 First yoga class? 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
844 It's not my fault your downward-facing dog isn't house trained. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
845 "Man-spreading" is also frowned upon here. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
846 Lose the hat, shirt, shorts, socks, and that rug, and we'll teach you how to be more accepting. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
847 You're early. Aladdin's class is at noon. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
848 Mr. Smyth, this would make one of those New Yorker cartoons that nobody gets. 1.2857 0.28571 7 6 0 1
849 You can use your rug, you just can't unroll it. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
850 Sorry, the levitation class finished at 7am. 1.2857 0.18443 7 5 2 0
851 We can't keep having this conversation. It is not the size of the mat--also that is not a mat. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
852 We still don't offer group discounts. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
853 Roger, yoga is about so much more than who has the bigger rug. 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
854 There is no such thing as team yoga! 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
855 We're more California than Oriental. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
856 Please tell Governor Christie that though we are excited over his desire to be healthy, only he can reserve his exercise space. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
857 There's no spring training yogaclass. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
858 The rug sale is next door. 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
859 Yes, 'Namaste' does sound an awful lot like 'no mats today'. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
860 I am here to do Mr. Trumps workout for him. Where shall I put his mat? 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
861 Blue Collar Yoga now meets on Thursdays. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
862 We only allow 1930 Chinese oriental rugs. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
863 I'm old school 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
864 The Spirit within me is asking you to just leave. 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
865 This does NOT count as a romantic gesture. 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
866 The front desk mentioned you had a really bad rug. I misunderstood 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
867 You should have namastayed at home. 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
868 Sorry - If it doesn't hurt, then it's not yoga. 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
869 No. No. The Mosque is in the next block. 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
870 You're looking for the Sicilian yoga studio next door. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
871 Get properly dressed for the Dust Salutation. 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
872 So when did mindless take over from mindful? 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
873 Yes, you can stay, but 'Rugby's gotta go. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
874 My guess is that you are absurdly over-compensating 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
875 We do Indian style here, not Persian. 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
876 No, you can't leave a body here. 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
877 The dry cleaners is next door where you can't breathe. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
878 You must be a big poser. 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
879 Sorry, but you won't achieve enlightenment any faster with a dhurrie rug. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
880 In this case, yoga is not really for everyone. 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
881 I'll trade you... 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
882 Yes, everyone was impressed, but let's keep it on the floor next week, Doug. 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
883 I guess we'll see who's more flexible. 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
884 Shame on you for using that to levitate. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
885 Since this is all hocuspocus anyway, I figured I'd just use my magic carpet here instead of a yoga mat. 1.2500 0.25000 8 7 0 1
886 Except for the hat, the shorts, the socks, the shoes, and the carpet everything else is fine 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
887 That’s nice, but in this space we’re more interested in the authenticity of your selfhood. 1.2500 0.28868 4 3 1 0
888 I'm sorry, that is not a yoga mat. That is not even a tatami mat. That is an area rug. 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
889 And then weight it down and dump her in the river. 1.2500 0.16366 8 6 2 0
890 "Tomorrow we will work on creating distance from your inner self". 1.2222 0.14699 9 7 2 0
891 Can you CUT a RUG? 1.2222 0.14699 9 7 2 0
892 Sorry sir, our insurance doesn't cover carpet burns. 1.2222 0.14699 9 7 2 0
893 your fear of Spandex, Sir, is certainly understood and MUCH appreciated... however, rules are rules... 1.2222 0.14699 9 7 2 0
894 Scram! You can't do yoga wearing a hat. 1.2222 0.22222 9 8 0 1
895 But I just had hemorrhoid surgery! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
896 You might be interested in the thousand session package 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
897 I don't care if it's magic, you won't fly through this class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
898 Please leave. We have a strict no shoes policy. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
899 Yes, you can your that mat but I will have to charge you double. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
900 Last week you brought a hookah, so it's an improvement. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
901 I'm sorry. There is no major league in yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
902 Sorry, no family discounts. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
903 You're sure to really feel the burn with that. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
904 Let me get this straight....you want to show us what happened with your downward dog? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
905 That's not what I meant. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
906 No multi-person mats allowed, please. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
907 Magic Carpet Studio moved to Brooklyn. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
908 We focus on silent judging here. Passive agressive yoga is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
909 Got the kids in there, dear? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
910 We're seeking a path to enlightenment, not a Hajj. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
911 You'll do just fine -- I can see you've got the right stuff. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
912 I agree an oriental rug reduces stage cable clutter and improves acoustics ... you realize yoga doesn't care? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
913 You're either carrying around a dead body, or you're new to yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
914 Pee pads would help more with your downward facing dog 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
915 What kind of moron brings an area rug to a yoga class? Namaste. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
916 Not here, the magic carpet yoga class is on the roof! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
917 The bliss of your being ends at my asana. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
918 You sweat a lot? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
919 No flying though. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
920 Shoes off, please. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
921 The idea of yogi is to relax. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
922 Billy I don't think this is what your mom meant when she said you needed to be more flexible. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
923 I don't care if he's leading in all the polls, everyone ise the same size mat 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
924 I studied in Iran. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
925 I don't care if it is Oriental. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
926 No, Aladdin doesn't teach here, anymore. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
927 May I suggest the spinning class upstairs? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
928 The Leave It to Beaver Yoga Class is down the hall. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
929 I know the class was hard for you, Mr. Shmedly, but I won't stand for your using that Killim. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
930 Is that my delivery of all natural free trade organic yoga mats? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
931 Rug's OK - clothes are a no-no. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
932 Son, a real man doesn't blame his tools. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
933 What do you mean, Persian yoga? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
934 That's the mat you're using? Yoga-tta be kidding me! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
935 I think you want the Persian yoga studio down the street. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
936 You have the wrong address. Aladdin's flight school is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
937 Why, of course we have a hip-hop, 'living large' version of Bikram-Hatha-Astanga yoga, sir. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
938 No mat, no tights, no service. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
939 Again today you have no class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
940 I don't care how rich you are, I still say you're just showing off. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
941 We strongely urge beginners to look the part. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
942 That would be the flat-weave position. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
943 This will give new meaning to rug burn. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
944 I told you to bring a mat, not your flying carpet. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
945 Let me guess. You flew in on it. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
946 "If it don't fit, you must split". 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
947 We don't allow Trump mats in here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
948 Yes, you brought a large mat, but you still have to take your shoes off. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
949 Our Flea-Reincarnation Class meets on Thursdays. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
950 Are you seeking health & a peaceful spirit or the rug cleaner next door ? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
951 Let's make yoga great again. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
952 I'm guessing you didn't get that from lululemon 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
953 The carpet cleaners are around the corner. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
954 I realize you're NEW but, at Bow Down Yoga, you need to KOWTOW, and bring a regulation mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
955 Sure, you can chant Yogisms during class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
956 What do you mean, where do you want it? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
957 Yes, I can see you have a big one. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
958 Sorry, the carpet cleaners are just down the block. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
959 Just set yourself up everywhere. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
960 ...and I TOLD your wife NOT to try that pose at home. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
961 Your bath towel would have been sufficient. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
962 I can't believe you showed up without your yoga pants again. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
963 You can't wear a hat in here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
964 No I won't share your mat and I'd prefer it if you set up in front of me. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
965 You know this isn't the "How to be Aladdin" class right? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
966 You're being too ironic, Todd. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
967 fringe is not allowed 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
968 You can put Mr. Trump's mat by the window. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
969 We don't encourage it, but if it makes you feel at home..... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
970 I understand; you want more space. 1.2000 0.13333 10 8 2 0
971 All I said was, "You have small hands." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
972 Put that down here, I like to let others know how important I am while waiting for enlightenment. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
973 I am going to start with the hat... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
974 We can certainly help with your balance problem. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
975 Take some relaxation breaths...then shell out for the gear. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
976 If anyone croaks during the downward facing dog, we can just roll 'em up and haul 'em out with one of these. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
977 I don't think that's what your wife had in mind when she asked you to bring her to yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
978 Yes, but only if your inner-self is oriental. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
979 It's down the street, look for people carrying suits. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
980 Something tells me you may be high maintenance. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
981 Please go ohm. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
982 Sir, it's not just the rug that may not fit. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
983 It's not all about the size of the mat you know... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
984 No, wearing Lululemon is not required, but we are going to think less of you for looking like that. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
985 The size of your Chakra has nothing to do with it! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
986 Because I want you to suffer like the rest of us. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
987 When I said that we were going to be be practicing the corpse pose today I didn't mean literally. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
988 This is a class, not a sleep-over. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
989 'Ill be honest, your hat says Golf,your rug says Judo,your shoes say Tennis,are you prepared for another failure? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
990 Namaste, but you must go. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
991 They were having a rug sale 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
992 Aladdin just left!! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
993 There is no missionary position in Yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
994 Our overcompensation group meets down the hall. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
995 Good effort, but I need you to return that to the lobby. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
996 I said Corinthian and not Iambic column for the Balustrade! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
997 Yes, it matches the drapes, but you took those too. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
998 It really ties my workout together. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
999 Thank you for delivering our new rug on the weekend. Please leave it in the reception area. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1000 Look, we both know that size doesn't matter. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1001 No. There is no center square. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1002 Are you here for the bro-ga session? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1003 I'm going to have to ask you to take off your shoes. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1004 That mat needs to stay in our lobby, sir. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1005 I like you too, but the rules say just one person per mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1006 It's Corpse Pose, not Corpse Dispose 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1007 We only use synthetic, wool is so last century! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1008 No, I didn't say namaste. I said your mat is nasty. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1009 Nice rug, Matt 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1010 Your first lesson will be about how less can be more. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1011 We accept all faiths, make sure your rug is facing East. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1012 Bro-ga is at 6:30 *pm*. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1013 We don't do mat envy at yoga! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1014 King of the Hill did a funnier version of this joke 12 years ago. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1015 You know what they say about guys with big yoga mats. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1016 We actually don't give a damn about natural fibers. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1017 I'll bet you drive an SUV too. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1018 It's just a temporary ban. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1019 Manspreading is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1020 Blue Collar Yoga is three doors down. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1021 Yes Mr. Trump, I can see your mat is bigger than mine. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1022 Let's just say you have the aura of a Trump supporter! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1023 Thanks for putting the "Brah" in Brahma, Jimmy. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1024 It's not that you're wrong... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1025 Lululemon was sold out; luckily, there was a pottery barn next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1026 You can learn to fly that thing next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1027 The cafe next door said someone just stole their rug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1028 Yoga isn't about the size of the rug, Rick. It's the notion of the motion. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1029 Outside. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1030 You must be Clemenza. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1031 No, Joey, the point of yoga is not to sweep every single worry under the carpet. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1032 Carpet cleaning is next door 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1033 Sorry, we have no qualified instructors for the 'seventh inning stretch.' 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1034 This is my fetish. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1035 Are you Cleopatra's personal trainer? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1036 I see you're new to yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1037 Runners are in the next studio on your left. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1038 First you hog the bed, and now the floor. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1039 I'm not sure who told you that, but I can't help you fly that thing. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1040 Trust me, I sweat a lot. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1041 Your in the wrong place, try the MAGIC CARPET shop, it's next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1042 I'll show you mine if you show me yours. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1043 It's not the size of the mat, it's the nirvana in the prana. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1044 Perhaps an orientation session would be advisable? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1045 Shall we begin with a couple of suggestions. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1046 Any other dating profile exaggerations Mr. "Avid"? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1047 I don't care if it flies - here you use a mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1048 Tom, your personal versions of the corpse pose are getting of hand. And what is that smell? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1049 This is a yoga class. Not an audition for Aladdin. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1050 No, there's no advantage to using a magic carpet. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1051 . . . That's Lululemon.com. L, U, L, U. . . 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1052 My therapist said yoga might be helpful for recovering rug addicts. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1053 The Aladdin Sky Flight class is two doors down. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1054 If you ever want to have sex with me again, leave now 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1055 I don't care if it's made out of kale. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1056 Might I suggest the outside facing dog? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1057 Big rug Yoga? No this is BIKRAM Yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1058 I can understand your attachment to your blankie but rules are rules. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1059 Purana gharana? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1060 ''Extreme yoga is in the next room.'' 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1061 A traditional yoga mat is required. I don't care if you expand when you sweat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1062 I'm sure it does really tie the room together, Dude, but not this room. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1063 There you go with your size issues again 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1064 Did you really take rug weaving at Trump University? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1065 Wrong workout session, bro... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1066 An Eastern-looking rug is known to improve a true yogi's practice. That's a good investment in your yogic journey. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1067 Namaste my ass 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1068 How many in your party? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1069 I'm sorry, but we can't be flexible. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1070 IT'S NOT A PICNIC 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1071 The rug department is upstairs 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1072 So I'm throwing around an idea for a new Broadway show, "Bikram Elliott.' 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1073 Harold realized too late that his "magic carpet" pick-up line would never work in a yoga class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1074 Well, look who the dog drug in. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1075 You still have small hands. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1076 Come back when you get your ahankara in check. Namaste. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1077 Yes, Mr. Johnson, you are a rugged individualist. Now may we begin? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1078 That isn't the relaxed look we are going for 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1079 Think small. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1080 I'm being inflexible? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1081 Overcompensating for something? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1082 Seriously? You brought an Indian rug to a bikram yoga class? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1083 By any chance have you seen the movie"Room"? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1084 Overcompensating a little? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1085 Opposites don't always attract, George! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1086 I'm sorry, but the other students are experiencing mat envy. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1087 Only if it's a flying carpet. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1088 This room doesn't need to be "tied together," Walter... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1089 We don't do flying carpet lessons anymore. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1090 and does it have underlay ? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1091 Any injuries? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1092 Old school? Nice! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1093 Please refrain from howling during downward dog, hissing through cobra or war hoops during warrior. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1094 You just don't get it, do you? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1095 Personal space issues I presume? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1096 Never the less sir,size matters. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1097 You must be looking for the class that we don't offer. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1098 When I said to step up your game, this is not what I meant. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1099 Feeling beautiful comes from confidence. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1100 The competitive yoga studio is two blocks over. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1101 Thanks, but I think that you ought to try Craigslist. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1102 Extreme Yoga is on Thursday. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1103 Size doesn't matter in here! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1104 I asked for the memory foam rug not the oriental. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1105 You can't get to nirvana if you're fraying at the edges. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1106 But this class will simply not be rugged enough for you. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1107 OMG! I hope that is not the one from the living room 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1108 It's carpe diem, not carpet diem 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1109 This is yoga, not breakdancing class." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1110 Sorry but to use a 5' x 7' mat you'll need to upgrade to our 'Premium Plan.' 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1111 Sorry, DIY yoga is in the converted janitor's closet next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1112 For the last time, using an Oriental rug does not make it more authentic! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1113 Sorry, no manspreading. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1114 No, I did not say "carpet diem". 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1115 It's not the size of your mat! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1116 What, you got a real flexible body rolled up in there? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1117 An Oriental rug isn't going to make Yoga any easier! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1118 I don't believe in magic carpets. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1119 I was a boy scout, ma'am. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1120 You can't just throw your problems under the rug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1121 Just place it down over here by placing your left foot onto your right shoulder. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1122 No manspreading here either! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1123 No, this is not where the Spring Break Carpet Contortion Contest is being held. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1124 You have the newbie mat until you stop toppling. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1125 I've never had problems with size before. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1126 Yes, even if your name is Matt. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1127 Your reluctance to go barefoot tells me you're a newcomer. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1128 Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1129 I honor the uniqueness in you. I honor your desire to learn the ancient art form. I do not honor your mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1130 We've never had rug burns raised as a concern before. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1131 The flying carpet class is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1132 I said we would feel the warmth from the heart, not hearth. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1133 Around here, size doesn't matter. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1134 Yes, I see, but we only offer haute yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1135 This is how I roll! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1136 Do we have a short finger problem? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1137 You're not fooling anyone! A bigger mat won't hide your small hands. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1138 I know you said yoga mat, but this is all my mom had! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1139 The flying yoga class meets on the roof. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1140 Believe me, Aladdin, there is no magic carpet ride to nirvana. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1141 Nice yoga hat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1142 If you want to cut some, ask the dance studio downstairs. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1143 Yoga was cutting into my antiquing time; so I'm multitasking. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1144 No, this is Bikrim. Blue Collar Yoga starts at 11. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1145 No, dad, this is definitely not a hot yoga class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1146 You pay for floor space by the square inch. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1147 This is a bend and kneel yoga class not carpet replacement. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1148 You've never been to a yoga class before, have you? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1149 Carpet Diem is two doors down. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1150 You won't be Aladin. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1151 No 'flying carpet' is needed for Yogic flying. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1152 In order to connect body and mind and to escape from this hectic, materialistic world, you’ll have to replace the clothes and mat with branded yoga gear and sign up at least 20 minutes in advance using your phone or risk losing your spot. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1153 We just don't have anything in common Kyle. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1154 Don't tell me, your hands aren't small either. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1155 I was told to bring my own mat from home 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1156 Sir, you can not use a carpet for the flying crow pose. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1157 It's 'bow down', not 'move in'. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1158 You can use it but we're not announcing your entrance. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1159 I don't think you get the concept 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1160 It's not the size that matters, Mr. Little, it's how you use it." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1161 Honestly, Jim, do you have to try to outdo me in everything? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1162 Does that look like a yoga mat to you????? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1163 With whom did you consult regarding your new yoga mat? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1164 You'll never find the jewel in the lotus with that attitude. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1165 No, sweat does not help release stains. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1166 We have a strict policy against man-spreading. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1167 I don't care who wove it, next week you will bring a flimsy, uncomfortable mat made in China from non-renewable resources. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1168 Magic carpet ride lessons are two doors down. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1169 Downward-Dog-Rubbing-Butt is really more of a Kundalini move. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1170 Finding your chakra is not about going big or going home. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1171 Yo ga to be kidding me! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1172 I distinctly said I wanted it "cleansed." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1173 Because man-spreading. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1174 Is it safe to assume that you are here for the beginner's class? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1175 $80 is a very competitive price for our mats. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1176 Unless it's Cleopatra inside there, she'll have to pay. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1177 Sir, as I have already told you over the phone, we do not offer magic carpet rides. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1178 No, I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the 'Reclining Chair' position. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1179 Rule 1: There’s no “Yo!” in yoga. Rule 2: No man-spreading. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1180 Actually we all like to roll our own as well. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1181 Groupon? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1182 We don't permit ohm decorating. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1183 This is not a flying carpet class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1184 This happens more often than you'd think. But it's 'Bikram,' not 'big rug.' 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1185 I could use a good nap. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1186 I think what you're talking about is transcendental compensation. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1187 Sorry, I don't think you just flew in from Persia. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1188 The flying carpet class is down the hall to the right. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1189 I think you're looking for Man Spread Yoga over on 10th Avenue. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1190 So let me guess, you're here to 'Make Yoga Great Again'? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1191 Yoga is about letting your mind go. I think you're half way there. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1192 Sorry. No group discounts. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1193 When your foot's behind your head, no one notices what you're sitting on. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1194 When I said doggy down to you, I was -not- referring to a yoga position. Get lost! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1195 I said a big HUG. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1196 Please tell me you're a burglar and not a new student. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1197 Loose the hat, Frank. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1198 Sir, we have a no soliciting policy. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1199 Overcompensation is not a pose. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1200 Unless you have a small woman in there, you've come to the wrong place. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1201 Sorry, no frat mats allowed. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1202 Spray it down before you leave. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1203 Hello, you must be new to Yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1204 My God, how much weight have you lost?! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1205 Exactly how much yoga are you planning on doing today? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1206 Next time, I want more lotus pose and less genie lamp. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1207 Is that my new Persian yoga mat? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1208 Our mat policy doesn't stretch that far. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1209 I see you don't know the difference between a rug and a mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1210 Sorry we've cancelled the flying carpet classes after a small accident with the ceiling fan. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1211 It's not the rug, it's the lack of smug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1212 This is one place where size DOESN'T matter! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1213 The telekinesis class isn't till 3:30. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1214 When I said "bring your rug," I meant the one on your head." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1215 There is too a difference between a rug and a mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1216 Thank goodness, I can't take another minute on this skinny mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1217 Over-compensating again, are we? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1218 Oh my god, size isn't EVERYTHING you know... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1219 No you can't run out to your car and get your six pack. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1220 I thought you were called Big Matt for a different reason. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1221 Uhh, exactly how LONG do you plan on staying? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1222 No, I don't know what they say about a guy with a big rug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1223 More male ego - " Your mat is bigger than my mat." Not appropriate! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1224 No, Zen Napping is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1225 We tend to favor minimalism. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1226 A baseball cap? Really?!!! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1227 You really haven't got a handle on this, Dave. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1228 Sorry, the class for overcompensaters is on Tuesdays. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1229 No, we don't offer a group rate. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1230 I have a wide stance. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1231 NOmaste. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1232 You can start by taking off that hat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1233 I'm sorry, it's not the carpet, it's what could be inside. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1234 Only if it is a Lululemon carpet. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1235 Yes, I spoke last week about inhabiting your personal space, but I'm afraid that's more space than I had in mind. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1236 Harold, I don't think this relationship is going to work. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1237 Our policy here is flexible. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1238 I"m sorry, we don't have a passive-aggressive yoga class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1239 For the last time Jeff, I'm not interested in romantic yoga for two! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1240 But can you welcome the rug burns? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1241 I've told you before. Downward elephant is the 2pm class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1242 Well well, look who it is... Mister "Namaste at home." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1243 The "Make America Great Again" cap is okay, but we don't allow Oriental rugs. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1244 Your wife told me you'd need some help for your first class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1245 Rugs are fine, but no hats. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1246 Yoga Cartwheels is in the Annex. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1247 where are the forty thieves? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1248 "If that's the living room rug then you are about to do a very realistic Corpse Pose". 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1249 Trust me. Sometimes size DOES matter. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1250 I think you want the carpet cleaning place next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1251 You don't have to go home, but you can't stretch here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1252 So, appears you can't spell Bedouin. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1253 Carpet bombing? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1254 You and the rug can stay but the socks have to leave. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1255 I know it's you first yoga experience but you don't need a training mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1256 mat" not "Matt 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1257 You're looking for man cave yoga - that's three doors down. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1258 I'm sorry, but our "Mastering the Flying Carpet Course for Beginners" is on Tuesdays. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1259 Air Aladdin is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1260 No, I'm pretty sure the degree of spiritual enlightenment you receive is NOT directly proportional to the size of your yoga mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1261 Sorry. we don't super-size it. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1262 We don't teach levitation 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1263 So you're still mad me for showing up with that wicker basket at your game last week? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1264 And while you're at it, you can take your recliner, flat screen TV and keg too. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1265 I said, “One mat per person, not Persian!” 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1266 What do you have in there....Cleopatra? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1267 I'm going to go ahead and assume this is your first yoga class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1268 Don’t ‘Lotus flower’ me. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1269 I understand you perspire a lot. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1270 'Super size me' is not an option. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1271 Girl: " What are you even doing?" Boy: "Yoga!" 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1272 I suggest you use a mat that's not older than yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1273 Have you considered private lessons? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1274 Fine, let's do fewer things together. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1275 I'm pretty flexible, but this is pushing it. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1276 A Hummer with a Jersey plate was left outside with its lights on. I assume its yours. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1277 Alladin's class is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1278 We do not have an area for fans! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1279 Yes, we do promise after only one session you will carry your body differently. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1280 I ORDERED A 2' BY 4', NOT AN 8' BY 10' 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1281 You don't say! The rug is Persian too! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1282 ...and my name is Princess Jasmine but it's still too big! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1283 We're flexible here but not that flexible. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1284 "Remnants only! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1285 Afraid of a little spandex there fella? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1286 The flight school is down the hall. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1287 No sir, carpet flying classes are next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1288 It's actually the attire that doesn't fit. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1289 Jesus, Derek, do you have to overcompensate for everything? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1290 Extreme Yoga is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1291 Hot rug-burn yoga isn't until 3 o'clock. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1292 No, no discount for having been to the mountain. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1293 The Hollywood Yoga place is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1294 No, a yoga mat and a Persian rug are not 'basically the same thing.' 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1295 I like that you stretch to the beat of a different tabla. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1296 Listen , Trump Yoga is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1297 Your Anger Management Counselor warned us, you'd be coming. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1298 And you weren't at all suspicious when you searched "Yogi" on eBay? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1299 Wait, don't tell me: the dog ate your mat? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1300 Omar's place is next door... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1301 The 'Make Yoga Great Again!' class is downstairs. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1302 No, we used to be "Dress Down Yoga," but we changed management. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1303 Shag yoga is upstairs. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1304 We don't do downward facing elephant. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1305 This isn't a sleepover! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1306 Please lose the mattitude. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1307 And also, there's those socks. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1308 Sorry, the Intro for Midwesterners class starts at 10. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1309 Sorry Aladdin, the beginners class is tomorrow. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1310 No…its not just because you're "for Donald Trump". 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1311 carpet yoga is one floor up. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1312 Hey ladies, I think I figured out who left the seat up. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1313 "Naw, must stay," Sandra insisted. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1314 Today is gentle yoga, tomorrow we do a more rugged class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1315 Carpet burn yoga...that's down the hall, second door on the right. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1316 What? Your the one who said size doesn't matter. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1317 We're more about how good you look getting fit; not actually getting fit. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1318 We have a dress code. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1319 You can use the rug but the lounge chair and umbrella have to go. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1320 You know the rules. Only Lululemon brand accessories in this class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1321 Fine. I get it. Size doesn't matter. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1322 "No.....one mat with 8 people does not get you a group discount". 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1323 This is Bow Down Yoga, Fly Down Yoga is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1324 Take the rug back home, honey" she said. "The carpet doesn't have to match the drapes in yoga 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1325 What, no Barcalounger? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1326 You here for Persian yoga, or Oriental? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1327 first timers usually bring their door mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1328 Is it made of natural fiber? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1329 There's no need to compensate here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1330 Persian Yoga is two floors down. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1331 Your definition of mat needs an update. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1332 Do you have a spot facing Mecca? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1333 Now I'm gonna show those amateurs some REAL yoga 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1334 I think this place is getting too flexible. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1335 Sorry for the typo - but there's no such thing as pot yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1336 Perhaps you need to meditate with a Hoover first. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1337 I haven't changed as much as you've stood still. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1338 I don't care if you bought your yoga mat in India; you can't use it here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1339 "I heard that the big one might be coming but I was thinking earthquake or asteroid. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1340 Living in the past? Shag rug is so 80's! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1341 No, I said it wouldn't be picnic. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1342 A tatami, not an Afghan! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1343 I'm guessing it's been a while since your last class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1344 This is yoga, not hooka. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1345 In yoga, less is more and more is less. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1346 Rugged Yoga is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1347 Perhaps you'd consider our flight school instead. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1348 Just say no to rugs. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1349 We all deserve our own space, just not the entire room! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1350 It's our conference table. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1351 Can't wait to see your water bottle. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1352 I am going to have to call you on the carpet before you set foot on it. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1353 We free our minds and soar. There's no flying. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1354 Sit your asana down, and we'll get started. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1355 Our website says we offer yoga and zumba classes here, not Roomba. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1356 You must be from Texas.. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1357 Donald, we know you have small hands, but you have nothing to prove. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1358 We are all-accepting and all-loving, and you're not in uniform. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1359 No. You cannot do yoga here and face Mecca. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1360 And lose the baseball cap too. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1361 Where did you get your mat? Costco? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1362 If your yoga farts require such heavy dampening then we'd like you to work out at another studio. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1363 Namaste and chill later? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1364 Are you more interested in a magic carpet ride? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1365 Sure, you can use that. We are pretty flexible. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1366 I haven't gotten my paycheck, yet 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1367 We recommend a 60% wool blend shag carpet for beginners. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1368 I can see you're new to this class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1369 Bigger is not better around here, macho man. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1370 I'm concerned it might make some of the men feel inadequate. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1371 We don't currently offer any classes in manspreading. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1372 I'm gonna need more space. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1373 As long as it's made in China. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1374 Is your downward dog a Great Dane? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1375 I didn't say we CAN never share a mat. I said we WILL never share one. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1376 A magic carpet is okay but sweat is the conveyance here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1377 You know, we do more than just 'abide' in this class, don't you? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1378 You seem Old School. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1379 Sorry, flying carpets are not allowed. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1380 Can we start now, or do we need to make more concessions to your masculinity? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1381 The free range Dad Bod class is held outside. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1382 Yes, I do think a flying carpet for your mat would be a distraction for the class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1383 We don't learn how to fly in the first class, Aladdin 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1384 You're going to need a smaller mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1385 Does the carpet match the drapes? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1386 Sorry you misunderstood Matt. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1387 Does your life coach know anything about yoga? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1388 No Babu, the flying carpet class is on Thursdays 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1389 It's only a 30 minute session. There's no need to bring nesting material. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1390 You'll have to take your manspreading elsewhere. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1391 I'm going to have to charge you double. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1392 No, I said I wanted to shift body fat, not a body! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1393 The Flying Carpet lesson is next week. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1394 Aladdin's class doesn't start for another hour 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1395 You might find Jumpin' Jack's Gym down the street a better fit. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1396 The flying carpet class meets on the roof. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1397 Overcompensation is an obstacle to spiritual pathways, Sir. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1398 In retrospect, this may have been too much of a stretch for a first date. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1399 I'm sorry, you misheard the instructions, we said you'll need a mat, not a nap 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1400 I’m sorry, the “magic carpet” area is not yet cleared for take-off. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1401 I see that you roll your own. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1402 Don't even think about it. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1403 Sorry, coach, still a no. But nice improvement over the sod. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1404 I think you've made a mistake. This is "Bow Down Yoga," not "Bedouin Yoga." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1405 It's 'Bow Down Yoga,' not 'Have It Your Way Yoga.' 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1406 Let's start with downward-facing Saint Bernard. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1407 Close your eyes, man; look inside, man; let the ground take you away. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1408 I said we could help with your Karma, not your Kirman! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1409 I can’t deal with you. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1410 I'm sorry, but the ad clearly said, 'Enjoy the comforts of Om.' 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1411 Namaste. The centre's special 'yoga for chubby, clueless beginners' class is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1412 Living large and yoga don't mix. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1413 The high-testosterone class is at 11:30. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1414 Antique Roadshow is right across the street! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1415 Make like a tree pose and get out of here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1416 You're right--they don't make them like they used to. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1417 No, you can't just hang out here with friends. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1418 Unless there's someone named Matt rolled up in there, you misinterpreted my instructions. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1419 That goes next door at the Bow Wow boutique 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1420 I'd really like to help you out. Which way did you come in? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1421 This is a " Yoga Meditation Exercise Gym Class", not a Muslim "Call To Prayer"-- No shouting out, " Allah-ou-Akbar ! Please !?! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1422 Size does not matter here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1423 Are you trying to overcompensate for something? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1424 Now you know why Shavasana translates as "corpse pose." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1425 Your transport awaits. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1426 Don't let Trump see it. He'll think you're praying. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1427 If you do downward dog on the carpet again, I will hit you on the nose with this rolled up newspaper. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1428 Just remember to take off your shoes. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1429 I understand that you have the biggest one in the gym, but you are not going to put it in MY spot. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1430 Sorry, I don't date yoga bros anymore. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1431 Compensating for low chi? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1432 You're late. You were supposed to bring that to my belly dancing class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1433 Size doesn't matter...especially here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1434 We only do throwbacks on Thursdays. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1435 No, broga is on Thursdays. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1436 FLYING CARPETS YOGA is two blocks up the hill. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1437 This is really going to throw off my savasana. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1438 "I don't care how big it is - put on some yoga pants". 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1439 Rough and Tumble Yoga meets on Tuesdays. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1440 Nice try, but I'm dating a guy with a 12 x 8 rug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1441 You're never going to find your inner chakra on that! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1442 I thought you meant you had a toupee. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1443 Just a word of caution - our membership rates vary by mat size. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1444 The flier said "raja" yoga, not "rug-a" yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1445 Isn't the team going to miss their astro turf. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1446 you only need a mat not a rug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1447 Hi madam, My name's Wilbur, and I'm here to join your yoga class. I figure, if all else fails me, I can count on my magic carpet. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1448 The baseball tryouts are in the field behind this building..... I believe they asked that you bring your own BAT. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1449 You're new here. Right? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1450 No, Kama Sutra class is in Studio B. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1451 The adult nap time class starts at 2:00. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1452 No, I'm sorry. We don't offer group rates. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1453 Sorry, but posers aren't welcome here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1454 No, I'm pretty sure yoga comes from further east. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1455 This isn't feng shui yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1456 The Big Lebowski body roll class begins Saturday. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1457 Are you sure you've never been here before? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1458 I meant Pahlavani when I told you about Persian yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1459 Sorry, we are no longer accepting Groupon 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1460 JOE, IN THIS CLUB, WE EXERCISE, NOT SLEEP. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1461 "You can't wear shoes in here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1462 Carl, can you take a break yanging my yin? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1463 Wrong religion Larry! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1464 No, Ryan, you may not invite the babes to hot yoga on your magic carpet. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1465 Those socks are all wrong. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1466 First time at a yoga class? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1467 No, I don't want a magic carpet ride. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1468 Did you seriously just say the word "Oriental?" 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1469 I'm glad you could make it Cleo. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1470 No shoes please 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1471 Did you bring enough rug for the whole class, Stevie? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1472 For your information. Yoga is not a spectator sport. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1473 We've already feng shuied this room. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1474 Listen, Dude. That rug is not going to tie the whole place together. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1475 It's just not about turf wars. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1476 Not unless it's a genuine, pre-20th century, Persian rug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1477 Whatever. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1478 No, I don't want to go on a magic carpet ride with you. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1479 Don't make me go to the mat over this one. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1480 Kevin, this is almost as bad as when you showed up at my Jazzercise class with your trombone. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1481 Bro-ga is on Tuesdays. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1482 I think your looking for Boogie Down Yoga across the street. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1483 You're late because breezy way classes for giant rug yoga ended for hicks with hats yesterday. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1484 No sir, that is a rug. You can't achieve inner peace on a rug, I'm sorry. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1485 Unfortunately, we don't admit posers 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1486 Mine's bigger than yours! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1487 Welcome! Is this your first time here? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1488 Is this your first day? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1489 Be careful, you don't want to get rug burn 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1490 Okay, but we do charge by the square foot. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1491 Now that I've got the wiseacre, where should I put him? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1492 I don't care if you are an artisan bread baker for Subway, you're not using that mat. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1493 We all sweat a lot. You still can't use a ShamWow rug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1494 This is hot yoga, not poor yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1495 Yoga keeps us grounded. Flying carpets is next week. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1496 Welcome to a whole new world , my name is Jasmine and I'll be your instructor. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1497 Staying at home was also an option. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1498 "Sutra" self 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1499 You know what to do with the body...and you can keep the rug 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1500 You better not look at my hot butt again today! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1501 You are zeroing in but keep toning down. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1502 Flying lessons are extra 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1503 Nama-leave, please. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1504 The Discount Oriental Rug Emporium is two doors down. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1505 A "first class" yoga section using Oriental rugs instead of mats is not an idea I'd be interested in considering. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1506 The Widespread Panic concert is in the park across the street. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1507 I don't know what you've been smoking, but this is NOT flying carpet class! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1508 C'mon, man. It really ties the studio together. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1509 You are yoga but not our sort of yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1510 Here's the deal, you pay the fee, you buy the mat and, then I don't care what you do. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1511 Dump her in the swamp, but hurry back. Bikram starts in five. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1512 I don't care if it did belong to your granny, it is not acceptable here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1513 Okay Aladdin, unless that thing hovers over the class I suggest you get a normal sized mat like everyone else. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1514 don't bother trying to impress me with your thread count. ... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1515 You should know that my class is no magic carpet ride. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1516 How big it is doesn't matter. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1517 Absolutely not! The last guy left with a woman rolled up inside. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1518 I'd rather eat glass than fly with you to India. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1519 So you're the Billy Elliot of yoga, huh? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1520 Put that in the corner. It's for my dog, Downward. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1521 You will be charged double for that sized mat! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1522 This is a judgment free zone but your mat's too big. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1523 For you we'd recommend the Stay At Home program. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1524 You're making us, like, way too uptight. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1525 No, we do NOT do Kama Sutra here! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1526 Is this your first time at yoga? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1527 You're looking for die in the wool yoga 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1528 We don't teach the Persian Hostage Pose. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1529 Not in my class—unless it's fair trade, of course. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1530 Did someone call Uber Carpet Rides? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1531 Planning to abduct someone? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1532 You are just off by a few blocks, Aladdin. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1533 ...And take off your cap, too. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1534 The Mosque is down the road. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1535 Over-compensating for something, are we? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1536 Nice mat Aladdin. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1537 I'm calling you off the carpet. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1538 Namaste yourself, big boy. Get out of my studio. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1539 You can tell Aladdin there is a whole new yoga studio down the block. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1540 This is Yoga class, not a Dry cleaner 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1541 The first thing is to inhale through your nose, then exhale out the door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1542 Not a good idea if that's an Iranian prayer rug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1543 No, we don't need a fuller rug. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1544 I think we are going to have to charge you for two! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1545 I'm afraid that's too much of a stretch. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1546 Sorry, we don't teach the "Tie the Room Together" position. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1547 That doesn't look like it's from Lululemon... 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1548 The Buddha didn't say much about the Homestead Act. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1549 You're determined to find your bliss? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1550 No shoes in the yoga class 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1551 You will be either the greatest or the most ridiculous student in the history of yoga. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1552 Let me guess, your name is Aladdin. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1553 Are you going to bring your Barcalounger too? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1554 How do I say this...that's NOT a yoga mat. THAT is a conversation starter with your therapist." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1555 No Roger, not those Indians. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1556 If its a magic carpet, make it smaller. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1557 Carefull,I can still see his feet. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1558 I hope that's a flying carpet and you're lost. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1559 M A T. Not R U G. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1560 It's OK, everyone looks great in yoga pants. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1561 You can get rid of the stiff out back. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1562 I can overlook the outfit and the rug, but 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' is not a mantra! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1563 I just watched "The Big Lebowski." 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1564 We only give yoga lessons. Flying lessons are two doors down. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1565 Flying carpet training is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1566 I don't care if it flew you from Bagdad to Laguardia, it's still too lumpy to use here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1567 Please remove your shoes. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1568 Carpetbagging meditation, we're not! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1569 Did you remember your coconut water? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1570 You'll give everyone rug envy. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1571 Without a beard you will always be that creepy guy in yoga class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1572 In yoga, size does not matter. Namaste. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1573 You might want to try Berra Yoga instead, down the street. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1574 The broga class is at ten. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1575 No, you may not bring a pillow next time. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1576 The cap is a distraction, it has to go. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1577 I can help you with the poses but not your fashion sense! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1578 The difference is... your mother is wrong and I am right... again! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1579 The 'Yoga For Clueless Guys Level 1' class is in the next room 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1580 This is Bikram yoga; Berber yoga is next door. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1581 This isn't a grateful dead concert 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1582 You do realize this is a no-fly zone. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1583 Our instructor, Mr Baba, sbould help you overcome your fear of flying! 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1584 I have a delivery for Cheech and Chong. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1585 I think you're looking for the advanced class. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1586 You're what kind of Doctor? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1587 The hat's got to go 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1588 We don't encourage manspreading here. 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1589 Are you here to do yoga or to be Aladdin? 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1590 Yes normally that's true, but with this I am not flexible 1.2000 0.22361 5 4 1 0
1591 Got it on Craigslist. 1.1818 0.12197 11 9 2 0
1592 I think your mantra is defective. 1.1818 0.12197 11 9 2 0
1593 How did you get through the Idiot Detector? 1.1818 0.12197 11 9 2 0
1594 A mat is not a status symbol here. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1595 Nice reclaimed mat, where'd you get it, your grandmother's house? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1596 ok, yours is bigger than mine. now what. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1597 Relax. Magic Carpet 101 is just down the hall -- second door on the right. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1598 Oh, I'm sorry, Magic Carpet Flow was at 9. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1599 Thanks for coming to today's doga class, but next week you must bring your dog to participate. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1600 In the future, Ms. Cleopatra, you are going to need to use the front door like everyone else. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1601 Magic carpet class is next door, sir. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1602 Cute. Did you bring you chez lounge as well? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1603 I'll allow you to use it. But it's not a short cut to mindful levitation. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1604 Sorry, we don't have space for someone who wants to use us as a take-off and landing pad. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1605 No-más-stay. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1606 The outfit is O.K. but NO on the mat. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1607 I refuse to go broke shopping at lululemon. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1608 You must be the ‘non-Prius guy’. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1609 Coach I know it's a close team, but they all need their own mats. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1610 Well, OK, but only because you drive a Subaru. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1611 I appreciate your cultural heritage but size does matter. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1612 No, we don't supply padding. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1613 "Your wife called. She fell and broke her hip climbing out of the shower". 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1614 I know no one likes to be called on the carpet... 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1615 I meant finding your comfort zone in the spiritual sense. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1616 Your mat is culturally incorrect. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1617 Today we will tackle Downward Dog, next week...manspreading. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1618 The unintended consequence of improving our relationship with Iran. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1619 You've mistaken us for Textured Plush Yoga down in SoHo. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1620 Look - if trump can be elected president, I can say no afghan ...rugs 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1621 Namaste. That means beat it. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1622 Don't worry, after just a few classes you will be much more flexible. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1623 Sorry, but your comfort level must not exceed what we provide here. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1624 I don't care if your mat is 100 percent Kashmir, we insist on polystyrene here! 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1625 While I appreciate that you have personal space issues, ... 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1626 Namaste, dude. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1627 "It's what Trump would do," does not give the right to take up more real estate than the rest of the class. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1628 I'm afraid we can't do anything about your girlfriend's body now. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1629 Get a grip! I'm paying $125 a square foot to rent this place. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1630 You look more junkyard dog than downward dog 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1631 Hi Phillip, our Ashtanga economy plus class only meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1632 Yes, I remember you well from Overachievers Anonymous. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1633 Tube socks with stripes went out in the 1980s, you really need to leave. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1634 Are you Matt? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1635 No problem—we're very flexible. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1636 I don't care what they said on Ebay, that's not an antique yoga mat. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1637 Oh, did you bring your grandma's yoga mat? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1638 To practice here you need to be outfitted in Lululemon. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1639 please place your shoes and hat at the entrance 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1640 The Carpet Yoga class is down the hall. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1641 You know what they say about men with rugs 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1642 So, you're delivering Donald Trump's yoga mat? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1643 Our full contact body slam yoga class is on Tuesday nights. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1644 I’m sorry. ‘Dead’ is the one body type not welcome here. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1645 Can we please just go see a movie? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1646 Please stop trying to 'Make Yoga Great Again' 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1647 Our beginner's class is on the first floor. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1648 We're a strict no-frills yoga studio. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1649 Larry, in here size doesn't matter. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1650 You 'enlightened'? Not when your carpet is made of non-sustainable fibers. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1651 Where do youse guys normally dispose of your used, uh, yoga mats? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1652 You seem to have yoga mat envy 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1653 ...While I appreciate that yours is a magic carpet, we only allow the use of simple matts that complete the necessary illusion of proper suffering. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1654 The Agoy Nwod Wob rug gallery is next door. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1655 ...do I need to take my shoes off? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1656 Sorry, your mat is not ergonomically correct. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1657 I'm sorry sir, but I've never seen The Big Lebowski. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1658 No, in this case size really doesn't matter. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1659 Now, remember, ditch the body, burn the rug, and disappear for a couple of days! 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1660 You'll have to come back tomorrow, Ms. Antoinette just called in sick. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1661 I see you've mastered the corpse pose 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1662 Ah--next door, Trump Tower. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1663 Manspreading is reserved for our advanced class. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1664 I think you are a little lost. The ballet studio is next door 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1665 Interior decorating is in the next building over. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1666 Okay, Donald, you win. Yours is bigger than mine. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1667 The term "Double Wide" doesn't apply here.....at all. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1668 Do you really think a cup was necessary? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1669 Personal yoga mat style is not a constitutional right. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1670 I don't care even if it's a flying carpet, I'm not going out with you. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1671 You're early... Persian Yoga begins in an hour. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1672 And when will Mr. Trump be arriving? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1673 Where's your mat towel, and your yoga-specific clothes, and your water bottle, and are you breathing through your nose? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1674 I'm sorry but your rug is too big! 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1675 Hookah Yoga is across the street. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1676 The only way a woman can get a man to bow down to her is if she's his Yoga instructor 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1677 I get it: you're angry with the donor-class Yoga establishment. 1.1667 0.11237 12 10 2 0
1678 Cleopatra just left 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1679 Namaste can only happen in my natural element. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1680 Yes, we can help you lose your roll. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1681 This is yoga class, not body disposal. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1682 Seriously? That's your yoga mat? It had better be hypo-allergenic, that's all I'm saying... 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1683 What's the thread count? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1684 I see…you’re the one from out of town I sold the yoga mat to on Craigslist 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1685 Mecca is out the window to the Southeast. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1686 An ancient Indian practice in a modern American studio is diversity enough! 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1687 Are you new to yoga? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1688 Ever heard of rug burn? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1689 Ii bought this at a garage sale, it was Jackie Gleason's tailor made yoga mat 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1690 No baseball caps allowed. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1691 We don't smoke and we don't chew and we don't lay with the boys that do. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1692 Bet that's your Hummer out front. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1693 Where did you get your paleo, non-GMO, organic, latex-free mat? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1694 It's not a competition. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1695 I'm going to put a leash on your Down Dog if you keep marking your territory this way. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1696 I don't care if you brought it, or it brought you. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1697 I'm sorry. "Bow Down" does not condone rugged individualism. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1698 No, no stomp class here. Try Drumpf's carpet bagging. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1699 No, a large carpet will not make dual downward dog possible. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1700 I can't wait to see your 'yoga blocks'. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1701 Sorry, sir. We don’t allow any manspreading in this class. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1702 Bob,this class might not be for you. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1703 You must be at the wrong place. Man Cave Yoga is 2 blocks over. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1704 Sorry. We don't allow baseball caps in here. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1705 No hats. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1706 The hat's okay but you need to take off your shoes. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1707 See, this is what I mean -- you don't understand me, Norman. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1708 Welcome, our first Trump supporter! 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1709 We don't allow man spread in our yoga class. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1710 ``You appear crude, even vulgar. But if you can breathe and relax when ordered, you'll find only love at Bow Down.'' 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1711 Are you sure you were in a Lululemon? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1712 You'll find the hot yoga class down the hall...next to the fireplace and easy chair. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1713 Is this a fashion statement or do you just not get it! 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1714 Our new "redneck yoga" class is out behind the studio. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1715 Bob, you're supposed to take your shoes off at the door. 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1716 Ready for class 'Aladdin'? 1.1667 0.18257 6 5 1 0
1717 OK Bob, but you will have to share with Carol, Ted and Alice. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1718 We don't do ironic hipster yoga here at Bow Down, Jeremy, just regular yoga. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1719 "Whoa man, this is yoga, not magic carpet flying. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1720 The bro-ga studio is next door. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1721 This ain't your grandma's yoga, please don't bring your grandma's mat. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1722 NO. None of the Poses will make it fly. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1723 No animal byproduct mats are allowed here. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1724 We think you'd be happier at our Brooklyn studio. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1725 You're the third guy this week who's told me, "It really ties the room together." 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1726 How many times must I tell you, size does not matter.... 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1727 Our magic carpet class is on Sundays. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1728 The sign says, "No baseball caps." 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1729 A huge mat won't hide your small fingers Donald. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1730 Your magic carpet doesn't work in an exercise class. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1731 We welcome beginners. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1732 It's not the size, it's what you do on it. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1733 We do not allow manspreading. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1734 So you're The Carpetbagger Yogi? 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1735 Namaste not Amen. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1736 What time can we expect Mr. Trump? 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1737 I see you're comfortable wearing a rug. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1738 When we practice yoga, we unify our body, mind and spirit. We do not have to feel "snug as a bug in a rug". 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1739 I told you: hot water and hot dryer. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1740 Make yourself at home, but don't make it your home. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1741 Your mat looks a little too rugged. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1742 Please take your shoes off before coming in to the studio. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1743 It's actually the socks up to the knees that are really bothering me. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1744 It's high time we had a chat about your little rug problem. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1745 Jasmine's classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1746 Fine, as long as it's Tibetan. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1747 Bringing your own mat does not mean stealing the one from the lobby. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1748 Unroll that ratty thing and you're going to learn the real meaning of pungu mayurasana, the "wounded peacock" pose. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1749 The fact that it's fair trade doesn't make it more appropriate. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1750 Sorry. No natural fibers are allowed. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1751 No, I do not know the direction of Mecca. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1752 Get out. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1753 Namaste' AWAY! 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1754 Maybe our group isn't right for you..... 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1755 I'm pretty sure inner peace doesn't come with free installation. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1756 With the downward dogs, think a little less shaggy, a little more Weimaraner. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1757 I'm guessing you drove over here in your Hummer. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1758 You can leave the rug but the rest of you has to go. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1759 Does it come with a fireplace? 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1760 Persian is down the hall. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1761 Sorry, the Low-Bob Yoga is down the street. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1762 I guess we have different definitions of 'authentic'. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1763 You must be a Neoliberal. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1764 No, We do not have a " share a carpet" yoga class. 1.1429 0.15430 7 6 1 0
1765 Like, no, I don't want to smoke it later. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1766 Yoga and levitation will cost you extra. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1767 I'm sorry, the head-butting, high-fiving and knuckle-dragging classes were all cancelled this week. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1768 I didn't know they served burritos here. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1769 How typical 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1770 You’re bringing me down, dog. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1771 Billy! Didn't I TELL you to remove your hat when in our sacred realm? 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1772 I agree.....Bikram may work with a flying carpet.......but we're too close to LaGuardia. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1773 Yeah, me and my magic carpet are feelin' the Bern. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1774 I thought I do a try out before I consider buying any new equipment 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1775 Sir, when I asked if you were "getting anything out of this class", I didn't mean the area rug! 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1776 The latest from Lulu Lemon 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1777 You may find your Zen across the street at the community rec center - the Intro to Carpet Laying class starts soon 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1778 I can't afford to pay for a Persian carpet. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1779 Sorry. We are only allowed to shag on hump day. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1780 The light in me sees the strobe in you. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1781 No ... Full Prostration Yoga is around the corner. 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1782 Why would I know the direction to Mecca? 1.1250 0.13363 8 7 1 0
1783 Look, for the last time. You're not Aladdin and you can't show me the world. 1.1111 0.11785 9 8 1 0
1784 ...that it was the stage rug for the Grateful Dead's '78 World Tour doesn't matter. It's still too big to use in my studio. 1.1111 0.11785 9 8 1 0
1785 We only use mats made from petroleum-chemicals, but in our defense, made in the U.S.A! 1.1111 0.11785 9 8 1 0
1786 You want "Takedown Yoga" next door. 1.1111 0.11785 9 8 1 0
1787 Calling it a ‘chakrug’ doesn’t help any. 1.1111 0.11785 9 8 1 0
1788 Hatha Yoga is known, but few know carpet yoga. 1.1000 0.10541 10 9 1 0
1789 We've seen a lot of newcomers inspired by the primaries ... people finding they can hold all kinds of awkward positions. But for us, size actually does matter and it's just too big. 1.0909 0.09535 11 10 1 0
1790 You don't scare me! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1791 But we don't need a flying carpet here 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1792 Sorry, but size isn't such a big deal around here. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1793 I need a lot of room when I do yoga, ok. Do you really need that much room? 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
1794 I'm sorry but you'll have to leave,we don't do shag 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1795 We've had a few too many down dogs and need it cleaned. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1796 I'm just not buying into the consumerism of it all. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1797 This must be your first time. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1798 The magic carpet class is next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1799 The brochure clearly says, yoga mat, bring a yoga MAT! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1800 Yes, I suppose that is a less bourgeois way to "feel the Bern." 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1801 Sure, I'll trade you. Let me give you my card. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1802 The yuppie in me honours the men's rights activist in you. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1803 It's not the size of your mat. It's the motion. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1804 You can't bring your flying carpet and hope for a miracle. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1805 I'm sorry but we can't Super-Size yoga 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1806 I don't think you understand. You're supposed to be uncomfortable. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1807 I can't let a non-conformist take my spot I've had for years. I'm an incumbent. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1808 What, the hat? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1809 This is a no drip zone. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1810 No, you're still going to do the vacuuming this week. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1811 We must accept that the floor is hard and user space is small, son. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1812 Yahtzee! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1813 I can see you're tense. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1814 Is this Cleopatra's first yoga class? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1815 I said, no magic carpets! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1816 Sorry. No carpet bow-downing allowed here. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1817 Sorry, we do not allow those colors. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1818 We already forgot lesson one, didn't we? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1819 You must be Charles Brown's friend. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1820 Sir, please put that back in the lobby and use this one. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1821 Sorry, Hoedoen Yoga is in the Barn on Carrol Street. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1822 You New Yorkers just love walking all over people. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1823 You heard "bad Dog" I said "Down Dog" 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1824 While we respect your enthusiasm and unique style, we just don't feel the intermediate class is quite ready for you yet. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1825 I'll really miss having you in class Steve. You're idea of starting a Downward Facing Dog Club was simply brilliant. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1826 You're one of those subway manspreaders, aren't you? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1827 No, it won't tie the room together Mr. L. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1828 You need to give that thing a shave. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1829 Does the texture of your mat improve your Downward Facing Dog? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1830 And I suppose your Armani is at the dry cleaner's. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1831 "No...That does not make you yoga master..." Submitted by Rebbecca Parker Charlevoix MI 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1832 Many of us do achieve great personal growth. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1833 Sorry, there is no tailgating in yoga. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1834 I don't CARE if your name is Matt. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1835 Perhaps we need to make that "no solicitation" sign easier to see... 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
1836 What? I don't understand the problem, all you said was bring a mat 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1837 But, it flies when I sit in a Lotus position! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1838 My name is Matt and I am here with mat. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1839 It's a fair trade rug from an Ashram in India. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1840 We're flexible about everything except mat size. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1841 What exactly do you expect to shag? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1842 Sorry, your mother was wrong, and she dresses you funny. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1843 We're missing a customer. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1844 I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind here. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1845 How's the new pickup treatin ya? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1846 I'm sorry, this relationship is no longer mutually beneficial 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1847 Let me suggest knee pads instead of you, ah, rug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1848 What a fancy yoga mat! Where can I buy it? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1849 The size of your mat really doesn't matter 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1850 Magic Carpet Ride is next door Mr Trump 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1851 No thanks, I think I'll walk. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1852 A sore thumb won't be a problem. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1853 Please Bill, you just don't get it! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1854 "No, I don't think you are going to impress the ladies with your large yoga mat"! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1855 Full-contact ashtanga is the next studio over. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1856 When I say, "that's a stretch," I don't mean yoga. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1857 So Cleopatra would like to unroll in our class? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1858 Sorry, the Cleopatra roll is not a pose I use. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1859 We don't like man spread in any derivative 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1860 Now, concerning your spittoon... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1861 Seriously? A magic carpet? 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
1862 I've never been worried about gentrification before. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1863 NO-mistah. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1864 OHHHHHMmmmm, nope! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1865 Geography isn't my strong suit. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1866 You can take a nap here, but you'll still have to pay for a lesson. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1867 You can take the rug, Mr. Howard, but you must leave Miss Randolph here. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1868 Can you have it back by Tuesday? I'm flying the class to Nepal. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1869 After years of being told he was inflexible, Jim finally took matters into his own hands. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1870 You really didn't need to bring a "man sized" mat, Bob. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1871 The rug burns are how I know it's working. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1872 We're a wimps-only establishment. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1873 The magic carpet class is meeting above us. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1874 I'm getting tired of Ms. Cleopatra's grand entrances. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1875 What a loser. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1876 We try to leave our rugged individualism at the door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1877 So you think a combo yoga mat, prayer rug and magic carpet satisfies diversity? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1878 No, "man-spreading" classes are down the street. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1879 What is it you don't understand about mat? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1880 In this studio size doesn't matter 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1881 No, not here...the consignment shop is next door... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1882 We do tend to be flexible but not when it comes to runners. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1883 You still have to take this class smartypants and I know your baseball bat is inside the carpet. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1884 It's how you use it. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1885 I don't care if you can levitate. Your flying carpet is too big! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1886 You want 'satya'?...You really want 'satya'?... Well, my friend, in all honesty, you can't handle 'satya'!!! 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1887 Because a Scout must also be flexible. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1888 To be honest, we've never tried aggressive self-realization. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1889 No, you can't lie down here to take a nap with all these freaks. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1890 Take your fat ass to a barn, somewhere! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1891 Just how big is he? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1892 Is that organic natural fiber? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1893 Need the extra padding,do we,softie. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1894 Jasmine doesn’t teach today and she doesn’t want to see you anymore now that you’ve let yourself go 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1895 Can I get a family rate if we all use the same mat 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1896 we really don't allow solicitors. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1897 Perhaps you could "just run a few laps" around the interior of your skull? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1898 No, thanks. I have plans. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1899 I don't think that's what "old school" entails. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1900 I’m sorry, we’re still waiting on our magic carpet yoga certification. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1901 I'm going to have to accuse you of manspreading 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1902 Our family-style seating is in the rear of the studio. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1903 It's what's on the inside that counts. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1904 I think you heard me. I said "That was zen, this is tao." 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1905 She DOES matter, but in this case, smaller is better! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1906 Bro Down Yoga is next door. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1907 Are you sure this is this most expensive mat? I am trying to get my daughter into pre-school. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1908 Only if Cleopatra is in there. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1909 strip, lay and watch 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1910 My friend might show up later. He really likes doing corpse pose. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1911 You must be interested in our group rates. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1912 If you want to free your mind you have to do exactly what I say. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1913 By any chance is your name Cleopatra? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1914 It's like vegan break-dancing 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1915 You're looking for the broga studio. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1916 Even if the sign did say 'Bedouin Yoga' we wouldn't let your camel take the class. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1917 You? In my class? That's a stretch. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1918 Please tell Aladdin that we have spare mats he can use. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1919 Let me guess, You're the new guy who called to say he was bringing a Matt with him. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1920 No, you cannot hide that body here. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
1921 I'm ready for Bow Down Yoga. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
1922 If you can't confine your yoga mat to a 2'x5' space, you will have to pay a double registration fee...or promise never to return until you are in a state of enlightenment. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1923 I don't care if you did fly in on it; you can fly yourself out on it. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1924 You have the wrong floor. The itchy skin yoga class is on the next level. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1925 What, do you think the ancient Hindu had microfiber mats? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1926 The rug is ok - but next time try not to bring the sofa and the tv. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1927 Take off your hat. I want to see if the drapes match your carpet. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1928 Wrong kind of Indian -- and stop calling me "Paleface." 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1929 That's for "Rugrats," the mother-child Pilates studio next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1930 The bariatric yoga salon is across the street 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
1931 I need a bigger mat, there are no half measures with me... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1932 Sir, I'm afraid this is a masculinity-free zone. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1933 Np we don't offer Persian variations 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1934 Oh, boy. Call me when you have grown up. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1935 That's a bit of a stretch. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1936 I can see our website needs to be more specific. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1937 Might you be the Australian here to demonstrate outback oriental yoga? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1938 Tell me – is this to compensate for something..? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1939 When you called earlier today I said foam, not faux 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1940 This is what I meant when I told you, "you will need to bring a soft pad for the class". 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1941 I asked for the persian design! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1942 You do understand, "mat" isn't short for "mattress"? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1943 No... I really am here for the yoga! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1944 It's Eastern, not Oriental. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1945 Meditate this Junior. We accept no snakes. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
1946 Nama - go away. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1947 Your yoga mat is bigger than the both of us. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1948 It is called Downward Dog, not Downward Elephant 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1949 I presume you're from left field. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1950 Yes I did say to make your mat your "home" during class but... 1.0000 0.10541 10 10 0 0
1951 You can use the mat as long as it's GMO free all organic fiber. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1952 Pick a remote dumpster..no questions please. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1953 Sorry, interlocking group yoga is not allowed. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1954 We don't do magic carpet yoga here. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1955 A downward dog with a matt, not a dirt dog with a rug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1956 No, there's no sitting watching football asana. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1957 We run a reputable establishment. No carpetbaggers allowed here. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1958 No, we never advertised 'Super Size Me.' 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1959 It's okay. Umm. . . did anyone see you come in? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1960 The Antique Roadshow said this is a yoga mat from the 16th century. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1961 I'm here to drop off a corpse pose... 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
1962 Oh, how I do love bring-your-husband-to-yoga day. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1963 I can't believe you brought the Persian into my sacred space 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1964 This isn't little-league. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1965 I have a feeling that your mother's dining room is now short one yoga mat. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1966 Sorry, but Governor Christie is not in this class. 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
1967 Flying carpet yoga is next door... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1968 I don't care if it's the same one from 'Aladdin', you need a yoga mat. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1969 Size matters less than motion. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
1970 I hope that Persian also instructs. Otherwise I've made a big mistake. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1971 No, we do not clean rugs. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1972 You by any chance Norbert? Your grandmother just aller, and she sounded upset. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1973 No, you cannot smoke that in here! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1974 The magic carpet classes are upstairs. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1975 No, just the mind and senses. I'm afraid the flying carpet is not going to work. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1976 No, I don't think a larger mat will elicit the desired assumption about your anatomy. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1977 Did I forget something? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1978 Tell your Mom we don't do used carpet trade-ins. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1979 Cleopatra doesn't need to always come wrapped in her carpet. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1980 I'm sorry, the 'flying carpet' class was canceled due to lack of enlightenment 1.0000 0.70711 2 2 0 0
1981 This is a yoga studio, the carpet cleaner is next door...nice knee socks, by the way 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1982 ?pu s'tahw 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1983 No, nobody will laugh at you if you wear yoga pants. It's the hat and that ridiculous rug that cracks us up. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1984 It's just that you don't seem like a true conservative, basically. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1985 No, a hairier mat does not make you more masculine. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1986 You'll need to come back tomorrow for the beginning Yoga Fashion class. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1987 Hipster yoga moved to the coffee shop next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1988 Matt, I know you're heteroflexible. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1989 You say Mr. Trump will be here in 5 minutes? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1990 Sorry, "Bow Down" in yoga has no religious implication. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1991 No way! I hardly know you. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1992 Yes,your party of five is ready. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1993 Sorry, the "Fragile Flowers" class is tomorrow. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
1994 Flying carpet practice is next door! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1995 Yeah, I'm sure it's fine. They let me use this papyrus scroll. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1996 We're sorry, but the downward facing dog is not allowed on that rug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
1997 Everyone pays, no matter how they get in! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1998 I don't want you to show me the world. I want you to show me a downward-facing dog. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
1999 I don't care if that is your ride Mr. Aladdin. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2000 New to the City? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2001 The instructions said: "....bring a YOGA mat, not a GOYA mate....". 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2002 My smugness comes from, unlike yours, knowing my mat doesn't come from a sweatshop! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2003 We said to bring a mat not a flying carpet. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2004 You can move in her "mat," but SHE has to do the yoga. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2005 thank you but I did want his body buried with the rug. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2006 That's not a vintage yoga mat. It's carpet. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2007 I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant when she asked you to pick her up at Yoga!! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2008 this must be a common core issue?? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2009 We don't do group therapy. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2010 When I said let's sweep our affair under the rug.... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2011 No yoga for you! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2012 Size doesn't matter here, either. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2013 My wife sent me here to relax. Where does the tv go? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2014 You're looking for "Bob Up Yogi." It's two doors down. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2015 Well, the ball cap might help you attain the infield fly position. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2016 I think this job sharing has gone too far! 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2017 We buy cheap used carpeting. We sell expensive antique yoga mats. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2018 I think first we should discuss the way in which you parked your car. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2019 We're going to pass. Studies have shown artificial turf to be damaging to joints. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2020 We don't allow "rug envy" in our studio. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2021 Look he just wants to have a normal day where someone can do yoga on him without having to sign autographs, take pictures, or give out magic carpet rides so please leave us in peace. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2022 The sign says: Bow Down-- not Chill Out-- Yoga! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2023 Seriously?! You brought a Persian rug to a Bikram yoga class? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2024 Men or rugs, Wendell, you’re the reason I’m taking a break from Caucasians. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2025 When my wife drags me to yoga. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2026 Yes, we do the dog pose, but you can't bring your dog to class. 1.0000 0.70711 2 2 0 0
2027 I see you brought a man-size mat this time, Andy. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2028 This is the billing address. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2029 Try Lululemon next time. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2030 Is there a place for one more? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2031 My, my, where do I begin to explain why 'absolutely not' is my reaction? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2032 Tell Mr. Trump he's not welcome. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2033 That rug culturally appropriates Asian culture and it doesn’t belong here. Namaste. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2034 Bow Down features happy baby downward dog today. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2035 So, by the size of that oversized rug....I have to assume you are voting for Trump? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2036 That's a great idea! I sweat a lot too. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2037 Sorry sir, we don't offer fringe benefits at this studio. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2038 No, no, it's not downward facing rug. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2039 Overcompensating just a bit? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2040 No Turkish rugs or towels allowed. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2041 But I'm Persian! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2042 I'm here to see a-hole new world. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2043 ...also a three letter word, yes. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2044 Delivery yoga is in the afternoon. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2045 We don't roll that way here. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2046 Please tell your Mother this isn't day care, and I know a dining room rug when I see one! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2047 You must have some heavy meditating on your mind. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2048 Next time, can you please not yell out "woof woof" when we do Downward Dog? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2049 Home Depot does not have an exercise department. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2050 So you're THAT guy, huh? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2051 Separately 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2052 I don't care if it is Yoda's yoga mat, it's too musty to use here! 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2053 Yogi not included. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2054 Let me guess your occupation. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2055 Someone's compensating for a weak chakra. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2056 They said to bring my own mat and I like my space. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2057 Welcome, Aladdin. So this is your first yoga class, huh? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2058 Uncle Guido says grandma's a little stiff. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2059 Umm, are you here for the course on "sacred masculinity" ? I'm afraid you're a bit early ! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2060 I don't care if that's the real you. I'm not going out with you. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2061 Usually my clients come here voluntarily. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2062 No we have no plans to change from mats to rugs. 1.0000 0.11785 9 9 0 0
2063 I said to bring a "mat,"not a "rug." 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2064 It was suicide-by-contemplation . . . dump him in Jersey. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2065 I said size matters, inversely. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2066 Yoga is possible for anybody who really wants it, and looks like you really want it. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2067 Carpet flying is the next session. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2068 Beginners carpetboarding is next door. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2069 No Mr. Trump the size of your Rug will not make Yoga Class Great Again 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2070 I keep telling you, size doesn't matter. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2071 Come on, it's not only functional, it really ties the room together too! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2072 No, this is not a 'friends and family' class! 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2073 Do you want to meet me at the juice bar after class? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2074 Excuse me, but I am reasonably sure we are not zoned for that! 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2075 From Texas? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2076 This is a Yoga, not a Thug class!! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2077 Don't you think it is overstretching it to say you are channeling your inner, interior decorator? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2078 My bathroom mat was wet. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2079 New years resolutions; am I right? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2080 I did not say you have small hands, Billy. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2081 the lay-out-the -rug- and - plotz classs starts next tuesday 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2082 bad downward dog 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2083 Is it your yoga rug, Rookie? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2084 Take whats left of that mouth breather to the woodchipper. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2085 I understand your name is Matt but that doesn't entitle you to use a rug. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2086 Got anything bigger? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2087 Persian yoga is next door. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2088 If Tina Fey can have a California King, I can have a California King 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2089 I don't care if it's a magic carpet, you can't use it in class. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2090 Are you moving in or downward, dog? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2091 My yoga mat may be carcinogenic, but you should see how your 'natural' mats stick to these $200 leggings. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2092 Cleopatra' Yoga is down the street 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2093 "You're the second guy to come in looking to do a class while on Persian rugs". 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2094 No, no - I said check out the Magic Carpet Yoga Mat at Anthro. Completely different. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2095 I see you're feeling the rug Bern. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2096 Who have you got in there? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2097 I'm sorry, but Yoga is NOT a Persian tradition. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2098 " No, no! You don't need to use a prayer rug, just because we are called ' Bow Down Yoga ' ! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2099 All are welcome here. You'll have to tell Mr. Trump, no shoes, no platform no exceptions Namaste'. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2100 I'm sorry, sir, but under our agreement with the college, we can appropriate only one culture at a time. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2101 I'm afraid you'll have to leave your flying carpet outside. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2102 You said I needed to take your hobbies more seriously. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2103 That's just so people won't know you weren't on your way to yoga? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2104 Ommmmmmmmm?? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2105 It was either this or the front door mat 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2106 Don't you think a $5,000 Persian rug for yoga class is a bit ostentatious? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2107 I don't care if you have a sensitive butt. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2108 Many people start out rugged 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2109 Yogi's carpet repair is next door. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2110 Broga is tomorrow night. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2111 A flying carpet? Good take on levitation! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2112 It smells as though Fido had decided to do a Downward Dog pose on the rug I brought for class. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2113 It's not funny anymore! She's a collector on the 5th floor! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2114 I figure this will help you dispose of my body after your hot yoga class kills me. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2115 So welcome to your first hot yoga class, Bill. Looks like you are a sweater. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2116 This will make me look more masculine with all these girls. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2117 No Sir, you cannot align your "mat" to Mecca. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2118 That will be perfect for when we get to the downward dining-table position. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2119 We specialize in cleaning minds, not rugs. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2120 So, are we ever gonna meet this friend of yours, Cleopatra? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2121 Let go of the rug, so we can achieve it. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2122 I'm taking my wife home. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2123 Big feet, big hands, really big mat. Yeah, I get it. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2124 You're starting off on the wrong square foot. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2125 Julius Caesar's studio is up the street. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2126 That's not what I meant by size matters. 1.0000 0.70711 2 2 0 0
2127 As part of our anti-Trump campaign we now offer 5 Bow Down sessions daily. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2128 I am so sick of manspreading. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2129 Big rug, small hands... Big deal. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2130 Magic Carpets is two doors down. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2131 Yogi's is down the road. "It's crowded so no one goes there anymore." doesn't work here. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2132 Everything about your downward dog was so wrong. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2133 You don't have the proper smile on your face to participate! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2134 You might find our practice a bit of a stretch. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2135 And who do we have here...Yoga Berra, perhaps? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2136 Can we trade? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2137 I don't care if it muffles your farts... 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2138 I'm a lumberjack too, and I don't care either! 1.0000 0.10541 10 10 0 0
2139 The failure of DIY Yoga. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2140 Guys can be such imbeciles. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2141 Breathe in and now Breathe OW! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2142 The practice actually originates in Persia. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2143 Is there an elephant tusk in that rug or are you just happy to see me? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2144 I understand it is self-funded, but Mr. Trump will have to use the same mat as the rest of us. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2145 I hope you brought a vacuum with you. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2146 We simply don't have the space for your ego. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2147 Overcompensating is strictly prohibited. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2148 The advanced relaxation class is next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2149 I'm sorry, but, this is not about your comfort! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2150 Sorry, but that outfit and that mat are only for home use. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2151 Tyler, do you always have to have the biggest mat? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2152 We are the nose-in-the-air Bow Down Yoga Club; The distasteful Rug Rat Yoga Group is down the street. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2153 You'll have to wait... They're not converting this building into condos until this afternoon. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2154 I have a rug, can I join women's yoga now? 1.0000 inf 1 1 0 0
2155 Sir, unless you intend to use that magic carpet for a party of six or more, please park it at the door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2156 You're Yoga Matt?! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2157 I understand the fibers are organic, Sir. But can you confirm those crumbs are gluten-free? 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2158 The flying carpet class is upstairs. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2159 Everyone, the Wheat Grass is here. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2160 Magic carpet rides are being held on the roof. This floor is reserved for relaxation yoga. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2161 What is it about "Size doesn't matter" that you don't understand? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2162 I don't care if it is a Republican prayer rug. Get a yoga mat. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2163 I find using a rug really helps me from slipping in downward dog 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2164 It's yoga and not yogart and no you can't sit and gawk for a while. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2165 Your mat will really tie the room together. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2166 When I said you should try getting out more I didn't really mean it. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2167 My wife told me that y’all might be able to teach me how to ride this thing. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2168 You were warned about drinking from that bottle without a guide. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2169 You're stressing me out. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2170 It's for our new pose: upward-facing Persian cat. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2171 You want to be great again? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2172 Actually, Subway doesn't use that chemical in their sandwiches anymore. Yoga mats are safe again. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2173 Just think of it like I have a seasons ticket to this spot. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2174 So it's finally here: Dharman-spreading.' 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2175 Mosque delivery is next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2176 Ah, great Persian carpet; much roomier. Good price, too. Couple of questions though... . Has the Mecca GPS device been disabled? (Off-screen) "And ask him if you should get a CARPET BOMB Rider on your insurance while you're at it." 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2177 Does it fly too? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2178 Puraney khayalat? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2179 Sorry, we don't allow manspreading. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2180 This is Bow Down Yoga... NOT... Lay Down and Nap! 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2181 What would happen when a man brought a carpet to have one room for a yoga instructor? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2182 Namaste yourself to the basement. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2183 Yoga is not a competition sport, Nigel. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2184 Had enough, big shot? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2185 You're early for the magic carpet class. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2186 That will have to be screened for bed bugs. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2187 I don't think those are the piles yoga is supposed to help. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2188 If you'd like to use your magic carpet as a yoga mat, you're going to have to sign a waiver in the event that it takes off during seated meditation. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2189 You're not allowed to relax unless you have the right attire. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2190 I can rule the bends here, but I can't bend the rules... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2191 I said 'yoga"'party", not 'toga' party. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2192 Sir, there's a lulu lemon right next door. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2193 I'm very flexible, but that mat is not welcome. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2194 What happens in your man caves stays in your man cave. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2195 It's Jamaican rolled maan. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2196 I said Yoga met, not biggest mat. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2197 This is what i meant by "we are poor at communicating" 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2198 I'm so sorry, this image just isn't going to work for us. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2199 You know you can use your regular yoga mat for the Flying Carpet position, right? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2200 Neanderthal yoga is at 6. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2201 I want to see these sun salutations of yours. 1.0000 0.11785 9 9 0 0
2202 A Lu-Lu Heriz Serapi? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2203 That's really more of a carpet than a mat. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2204 Okay, so there are two exceptions to all-organic-all-natural. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2205 I'm sorry, but, in this class, size doesn't matter.... 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2206 Look, I just won the Middle Eastern yoga tour contest! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2207 And the miller he has served him worse than that, for he's ground him between two stones. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2208 The size of your mat does not matter. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2209 You did not purchase a family membership 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2210 I'm sorry, but the hipster doofus yoga studio is located above the ironic vintage t-shirt shop across the street. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2211 Your outfit is bringing me down, dog. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2212 Size doesn't matter in yoga. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2213 Bow Wow Dog Training is down the street. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2214 I'm boycotting Big Yoga 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2215 No, you can't bring your recliner. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2216 Yes, that bread chemical is also in yoga mats, but the mats are perfectly safe. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2217 I know your name is Matt. And the thing you're carrying you call a mat. But that is not a yoga mat, Matt. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2218 Persian yoga doesn't start until 2:00. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2219 I'm guessing you are the new apprentice. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2220 I can't wait to see how you interpret downward dog. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2221 OK, NOW UNROLL THE CARPET, AND LET CLEOPATRA EMERGE! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2222 You don't know the Crane menage à trois pose do you? 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2223 Yogis don't teach you how to fly like Aladdin. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2224 Your family will participate? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2225 It's Indian, not Persian. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2226 Your hand size has nothing to do with your mat size. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2227 I may have put up with your abuse of thesaurus.com but I’m not your English professor anymore. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2228 Jam Band yoga class is next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2229 He said. Take any rug in the house 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2230 Got a dead body in there? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2231 So your name's Aladdin. You still can't bring that rug in here. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2232 What do you think this is--a slumber party? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2233 I'll let you know when it's time for Downward Persian Dog. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2234 Sorry for asking sweetie, but I just can't tell the pitchers from catchers anymore. 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
2235 Sandra, I respect your opinion but this is my Yogi Bear mat. If we just take a deep breath...and relax...I'm sure we can make this work. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2236 I think you are taking the concept of going to the mat a bit too literally. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2237 You're entirely welcome here, but the corpse has to be outside. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2238 We're trying to become more authentic, ma'am. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2239 I'm sorry, the 'Elect Donald Trump Yoga Fundraiser' doesn't start for another hour. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2240 Sorry, "Make Yoga Great Again" is in the next studio. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2241 'It Ain't Yogi 'Till It's Yoga is across the street.' 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2242 Sorry, but it doesn't match the drapes. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2243 Well, well...what have we here? Another vain attempt at compensation? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2244 You may use your 'magic flying carpet' today. But please get a yoga mat for next time. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2245 Bigger is not always better! 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2246 The funeral home is in the next block. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2247 Let me guess: you're new to yoga. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2248 It's not practical, but I admire your sense of aesthetic. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2249 The spread eagle is not a yoga pose. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2250 The flight school is next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2251 With men it's always about size, isn't it? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2252 It needs restretching. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2253 Assume the shag position. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2254 What do you mean 'your chahra is blocked by my studio's feng shui'? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2255 So you were told a yak mat will enhance your peace of mind and release tension? H'om... 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2256 I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave. It's not the Oriental, it's the normcore. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2257 So that's whay they call you "big" Matt 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2258 And yes, I promise you that I will never ask you to eat kale again. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2259 No, we are not Ground School for carpet flyers! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2260 One: take your shoes off in my studio. Two: that's a tapestry. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2261 The Magic Carpet Ride class meets on the roof. Good luck! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2262 I think you've got the yang covered. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2263 Supersized spots pay a supersized fee. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2264 Nobody is buying it that you found Shiva's original yoga mat. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2265 You found it, stuffed away in an old drawer...!?...well, you need to think 'slip resistant'. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2266 The auditions for Anthony and Cleopatra are next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2267 No rule says you can't wear kneepads instead. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2268 I completely understand your feelings on this, but I'm just concerned your flying carpet will be an unnecessary distraction. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2269 So, they call you Mr Big, do they? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2270 The baseball cross-training class starts next week. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2271 Bigger is not better 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2272 'Let me guess -- it's either this or detention." 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2273 I'm sorry, "eastward-facing dog?" 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2274 Uh your mat is quite big," "I thought size doesn't matter. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2275 I'm not judging, but your chakras are blocked. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2276 With all due respect, we request that you not be visible from our window. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2277 Trust me, you're not that flexible. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2278 The sign says no Flying carpets. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2279 Take your magic carpet and beat it, Alladin. The only way you'll ever reach a higher plane is on a sticky mat! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2280 This is a yoga studio, not Downton Abbey. 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
2281 YOU WANT THE UPPER CRUST OF YOGA,THERE'RE IN THE PENTHOUSE. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2282 magic carpet or not, its too big for this class 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2283 Smaller, thicker and less decorative next time, please. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2284 One day you will also keep the seat down! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2285 I'm sorry, Sir. The flying carpet class ended at 11. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2286 No, I do not want to shag, thank you. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2287 Agoy Nwod Wob means your coming at this from the wrong perspective. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2288 Sir, next time can you bring your own yoga mat? That rug isn't supposed to leave the lobby. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2289 Is there a lamp in there too? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2290 Men: We're even rugged during Yoga 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2291 I'm afraid you exceed our minimalism, attitude and materialism guidelines. Good day Mr. Smith. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2292 Good, we won't have a wading pool like last week then. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2293 I think you'll need your carpet at the boxing ring next door. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2294 Shake out your mat, Frank--we're missing Mr. Whimpley. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2295 I'm kinda old school... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2296 Compensating? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2297 It's a movement practice, not a move-in practice. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2298 We don't condone manspreading in our studio. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2299 No rugs, sir. Not painful enough. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2300 Honey, this "Make America Great Again!" thing has gone far enough. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2301 You muslims always think you can kill two birds with one stone. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2302 I said bring your mat, Mr. Trump, not your rug. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2303 You just don't have that special Bow Down Yoga attitude. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2304 At least your clothing is appropriate this time, Aladdin. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2305 Whoever told you size does not matter was wrong. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2306 That kundalini pick-up line is so overused! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2307 Persian rugs seems to have been quite qui successful with their new campaign strategy. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2308 Is it organic astroturf? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2309 I said it was a yoga class, not a yogi class! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2310 Really? Not even you are that dumb 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2311 I'm afraid yoga is more of a mid-century modern lifestyle. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2312 Drop and roll before I bonk you on the head! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2313 I think your college buddies were pulling your leg. There is no instructor here named Alladin! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2314 I saw you driving in. That's a very nice Porsche convertible. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2315 Really? A "power carpet" for Power Yoga? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2316 Look what the shaggy dog dragged in. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2317 We said you can practice at home, not like you’re home. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2318 Actually, my karma says to take your Grateful Dead rug elsewhere. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2319 I don't care if your name IS Aladin. You lie it! Don't fly it. 1.0000 0.11785 9 9 0 0
2320 The non-conformist yoga instructor doesn’t stick to a regular schedule, but you’re welcome to join my class. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2321 No, having a bigger rug doesn't help, either. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2322 This wasn't the kind of burn I was expecting. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2323 Size matters. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2324 Where's Aladdin, and what have you done to that magic carpet? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2325 Downward-facing smile. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2326 This 'bigger is better' mantra you live by is getting old. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2327 Not sure what happened to her but the body is in the back room. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2328 Magic carpet lessons, start at noon 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2329 The Kama Sutra class is next week. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2330 My downward dog had worms 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2331 You do realise that downward dog is meant for humans, right? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2332 Have you seen Alice? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2333 Sorry about your downward dog accident, but we don't do pet stains 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2334 I meant something like a large bath towel, not a carpet. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2335 Is your moving truck double parked? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2336 We don't subscribe to manspread Yoga here. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2337 I say no to rugs. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2338 Oh, you downward dog, you. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2339 Let me guess, downward facing dog ate your mat? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2340 Okay, if you got it smoke it. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2341 Attain a higher plane? Pretty sure that's not what they meant. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2342 We only show you the pose, it's up to you to dispose of the corpse. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2343 but is it artisanal? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2344 Let me guess, you aren't vegan either. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2345 Sorry. The ad was supposed to say Flying Dog not Flying Carpet. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2346 I said a mat, not the living room rug! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2347 It's "namaste"not "no mats day" 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2348 I will let it go this time, but if I so much as hear you humming that song from Aladdin, you're out of here! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2349 Unwelcome karma, sir. No, not the mat, it's your NRA hat. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2350 I'm sorry, but there's still no group discount. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2351 The Yogi School is on the second floor. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2352 You're early. Please let the Jolly Green Giant know his XXXXXXXL yoga workout doesn't begin until four. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2353 I promise to take the needs of Yoga Dads into consideration. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2354 Our practice includes the idea that size does not matter. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2355 You can put my sister down anywhere? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2356 I'm sorry, no flying carpets allowed. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2357 We don't do the same yoga. XOXO 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2358 That's not lululemon... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2359 I don't care if it's Cleopatra in there, she's still going to pay for the classes. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2360 Don't you have any friends of your own Bob? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2361 A fancy Persian rug will not get you to a higher level of conciousness in my yoga class. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2362 Namaste! Wait until I say "Namaste," you oaf! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2363 My Persian rug is in need of a stretch! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2364 At least our orientalism isn't gauche. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2365 Let me guess - bean burritos for lunch? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2366 Pole dancing is at 6:00 PM. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2367 No, we don't offer a 7th inning stretch. Wrong sport dude. Namaste. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2368 This is the Bow Down studio. The DIY studio is on the second floor. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2369 Is that Persian? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2370 You must be looking for the yogurt place next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2371 I know it's a bit oversized, but the salesperson assured me it's 100% organic. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2372 I hope you don't roll your own cigarettes. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2373 "Magic Carpet Flying Lessons" are next door. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2374 It's about spiritual liberation not a magic carpet ride. 1.0000 0.70711 2 2 0 0
2375 Ali Akbar dropped this class yesterday. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2376 Sorry sir, but Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are reserved for allergen-free workouts. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2377 Sorry, but I'm looking for something a little more manufactured. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2378 "Bro-Ga" has been cancelled. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2379 When I said, 'Feel the burn,' I wasn't talking about rug burn. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2380 I'm sorry, but if we allow you , soon everyone will be in here magic carpets. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2381 We have parking for flying carpets behind the building. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2382 And I would ALSO appreciate it if you DIDN'T make follow-up comments to mine, such as "What up, Downward Dog?" 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2383 Class cost is by the square foot. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2384 This is what happens when you tell your man to bring the 'thing' on the floor to couples yoga while he is watching the game. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2385 I don't care if it Aladdin swore by it, you'll have to use a yoga mat like the rest of us. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2386 No, the studio doesn't need "classin' up". 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2387 I ordered a zen rug, not a Persian rug. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2388 The community class is at 3. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2389 Using a flying carpet to attain the Eagle pose is frowned upon! 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2390 I came to get down. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2391 We took the family pack 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2392 Let's just start with an all natural diet 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2393 Persia is not known as a yoga mat manufacturing centre. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2394 How much bliss do you need? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2395 It's 100% organic. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2396 I'm sorry, we don't offer a group rate. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2397 Do your choices affect others? Consider your actions. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2398 Planning on expanding your practice, I assume? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2399 It's 3 doors down for the men's class. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2400 Did you get in with the two-for-one special? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2401 Sorry, IRANIAN yoga rug. 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
2402 Yes, we stretch here. The bullpen for pitching from the stretch is next door. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2403 Okay, I'll check-in my sense of superiority if you check-in that carpet 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2404 I think you want the place up the street -- Downward Doggy Style. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2405 Yes, we believe yoga is a religious experience. No, you cannot bring your own prayer rug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2406 You've been living in that "mine's bigger than your's" world much too long 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2407 I'm sorry, this is a no-fly zone. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2408 A genie better be in there and grant me 3 wishes if you plan on rolling that out in my class. Namaste. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2409 I guarantee you, a small rug is wonderful, there's no problem, I guarantee you. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2410 You can start by getting your rug off of Barbara’s head. 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
2411 what 'Room' ? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2412 What's with the rug, Matt? 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
2413 Your website said to bring your own mat 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2414 Sir, shoes aren't allowed in the studio. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2415 I'm sorry, our Neanderthal-looking-for-a-date class meets on yesterdays. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2416 Is it medicinal? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2417 I don't care how wealthy you are, you can't use a your expensive Persian rug in this class. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2418 Your guy says the whole class can have 80% off yoga mats this week only. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2419 Sorry, today is Dog Facing East. Yesterday was Doofus Carrying Rug. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2420 This is Hatha, not Mansplay yoga. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2421 The introduction to pre-yoga class is tomorrow. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2422 Are you here to pray or stretch? No, we don't allow naps. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2423 Your small-man, big-mat compensation issues are starting to hurt my business. 1.0000 0.10541 10 10 0 0
2424 Have you seen my sister Cleo? 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2425 Sorry, Mr. Perkins--but your small rug on top is even scarier than the big one for your bottom. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2426 We lie on our mats not fly on them. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2427 Salesman or no, yoga doesn't involve flying on a magic carpet. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2428 Oh, I forgot, Ben. You skipped second grade to play baseball, and second grade is when we learned the difference between a rug and a mat. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2429 May I take your brother's measurements as long as he's here? 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2430 Why don't you ask the rest of your crew to join us? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2431 Remember, no flying more than two feet above the floor. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2432 this is yoga not a carpet store 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2433 At 'Bow Down Yoga', we find our inner bliss on yoga mats, not area rugs. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2434 Miley's here. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2435 Magic carpet rides are not allowed. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2436 I admire your ambition. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2437 That would have to be the early evening family class 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2438 No you can't bring your dog, it's Bow Down Yoga, not Bow Wow 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2439 If that thing can fly, I suggest you use it. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2440 Wrong space sir. Rehearsals for Anthony and Cleopatra are held in the upstairs studio. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2441 No, we don't supply the chair and television. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2442 Size doesn't matter to me. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2443 ," "May the floors be with you." 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2444 "You can try, sir, but I question if you and your rug are a fit for our program. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2445 Her Bow Down dog soiled the rug 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2446 Together would be nice, but I'm allergic to dust. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2447 How many times do I have to tell you that size doesn't matter? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2448 I do appreciate your trying but we are just not on the same page. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2449 The BYO class is downstairs. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2450 You don't look very stretchy. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2451 It helps absorb my sweat, but does very little for my excessive leering. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2452 Late for class after one of those 1001 nights again? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2453 Sir, this is yoga. Size does not matter. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2454 You’ve either signed up for Hatha or the stick welding course next door. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2455 I'm sorry, Spousal Disposal Inc is two doors down. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2456 Just a thought, natural wool may chafe. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2457 Sorry, there are no hemp mats allowed. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2458 No we don't do juice and crackers. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2459 Let me guess, you're here for broga? 2nd floor. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2460 You're overcompensating for a weak second chakra. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2461 This is a beginners class. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2462 My wife is lost in thought. Can you please tell her that she promised the kid's that she would take them to the park today? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2463 A one-percenter Downward-facing Dog? Nowhere near me, dude. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2464 Sorry, Oriental Rug Yoga isn't until 7PM right after Trampoline Yoga. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2465 I'm sorry but your too well adjusted for our program. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2466 You want the flying lessons; that's up on the roof level. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2467 Do you need help moving your furniture in? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2468 This is Yoga class, the "Aladdin" tryouts are down the hall. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2469 I specifically ordered 3-inch memory foam padding beneath. Where is it? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2470 Can you help me unwind? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2471 Am I supposed to be impressed? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2472 I'm sorry but "scatter rug" yoga is not a thing. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2473 Good, now hold that position until you achieve yin. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2474 Your name might be Matt, but it's still a rug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2475 Are you going to kill and roll me up in that rug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2476 Remember, speak softly and carry a big shovel. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2477 Take her, and put her in the garbage truck. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2478 A mix of hot yoga and body wraps. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2479 This won't be a sleepover. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2480 I don't care if it's soft and fluffy. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2481 Sorry, the normcore class doesn't start until 11:00 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2482 Overcompensating Mr. Smith? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2483 I said I wanted a crumpet not a carpet! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2484 Bow, not bro 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2485 There is no 'I' in Yoga Mat! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2486 This is a No Manspreading zone. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2487 Unfortunately, our schedule does not allow time for a ceremony to honor Mr. Berra. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2488 No. 'Till the fat lady sings.' was his mantra. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2489 At Bow Down we do not allow the picking up of a partner. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2490 No, I'm afraid using a bigger mat will not 'make yoga great again.' 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2491 “winning isn’t about carrying a mountain and moving a step-but about carrying Pebble and taking a leap”. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2492 Not that kind of bow down 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2493 Magic carpet ride huh? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2494 Honey how many times do I have too tell you? Stop stealing our neighbors carpet for your own personal use. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2495 We don't allow full-size rugs in here. It makes the mats feel self-conscious. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2496 Our class for the refreshingly un-commercialized starts next week 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2497 Your karma is just pitiful. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2498 Tell Cleopatra that Julius is not here on Monday's. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2499 Only if it doesn't levitate. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2500 Yes, I did say you could bring your own yoga mat. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2501 OK, the brochure says a gentler class comfortable for beginners, but that is not one of the recommended mats. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2502 No, no cheese, I said chi. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2503 We're not planning on flying at all! A simple mat will do. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2504 In yoga we use mats -- not runners, neither floor nor designated. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2505 Yo, sorry I'm not down with this Dog. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2506 I said hot mat, not hot rug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2507 My downward tapestry has really improved of late. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2508 No, you can't "tail-gaze" while we do Downward Dog 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2509 I'm sorry, but we don't allow Persians. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2510 I said, "Carpe Diem", not "Carpet Today". 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2511 Your rug or mine? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2512 It'll come in handy when I start "Yoga for Rug Rats." 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2513 I see you're here for the Persian Yoga class. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2514 Who are you? And what have you done with Cleo? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2515 I can't meditate on a plastic mat ! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2516 Namaste. I suppose Home Depot was out of berber? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2517 If you turn to your left you'll be facing East. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2518 Sorry - for rug carry you need Cross Fit down the street. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2519 Nothing brings me inner peace like my prayer rug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2520 Wow, I'll bet you are the mood for some rhythmic breathing. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2521 Even though you may have learned it in 2nd grade, in this class you don't have to bring enough for everyone. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2522 Working class is in Studio Two. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2523 Which way is Mecca? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2524 No we don't clean rugs as well. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2525 Small hands, big mat ? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2526 I insist. Men first! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2527 This is a yoga class, not a beer and weed hangout. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2528 Perhaps you were looking for the Fight Club down the street. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2529 This is Bow Down not Lay Down Yoga. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2530 I hope you realize, that this will triple your class fee. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2531 Please stop referring to it as the doggie pose, Lewis. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2532 Meditate on this: Oriental yoga matts are not permitted! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2533 I don't care if you paid full price at Restoration Hardware. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2534 Please take off your shoes and socks, we practice barefoot. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2535 Space being a finite resource, we have to double your rates. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2536 OK, maybe you're just not cutout for yoga. But I tell ya what, how about I refer you to that CrossFit gym around the corner? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2537 No, Alladin, I do not wish to try a new position with you on your magic carpet! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2538 Are you trying to perfect "The Recumbent Man"? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2539 I asked for wall-to-wall. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2540 Body's out back. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2541 No, I am not able to make you genie appear during Shavasana. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2542 If you're into yoga mat envy, you've come to the wrong place." 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2543 ManFlow Yoga is on Tuesday nights. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2544 I didn't know Goliath was into yoga. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2545 Bring him to Room. (The true story.) 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2546 Your Suburban and Bar-B-Que are double-parked. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2547 Loose the silly hat! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2548 This is the crossfit gym, right? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2549 " I see you've been shopping at the one size fits all yoga mat store". 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2550 The Suds and Rugs is down the street 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2551 It is a gorgeous rug, but I think you'd be happier at "ElephantYoga" down the street. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2552 Look, Aladdin, you're welcome to stay, but please no flying this time. It distracts the others. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2553 At this point, she realized that the relationship was not going to work. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2554 Magic, Smagic, it's not welcome here! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2555 Honey, I said Vinyasa, not Persian... 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2556 is that a tarp, or are you just happy to see me? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2557 Yes, but is it sticky? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2558 Now that you flew in on it, can you also shrink it? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2559 Your name is Matt not rug! 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2560 Double-wide yoga anyone? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2561 I see your rug rats will be joining us today. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2562 This is yoga, not carpet flying 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2563 I really need to change that 'Bring Your Own Mat' policy... 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2564 The Season ends - never! 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2565 I asked you to bring the rolled yoga mat, not the rug from the living room 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2566 Bow Down Yoga is a no manspreading zone. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2567 Shag costs double. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2568 Okay, I’ll agree size does matter; but you still can’t use it! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2569 You don't have the right standard equipment for this class. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2570 Magic Carpet rides are two doors down on the left. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2571 I must insist. No FLYING CARPETS ! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2572 Trump yoga's on the 5th floor. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2573 No, I am not interested in getting a rug burn with you. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2574 No, it isn't. Yoga for Dummies is down the hall, second door on your hand with the carpet. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2575 It's no picnic! Believe me! 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2576 Excuse me Sir, this is a yoga class, not a carpentry store! 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2577 You said bring a yoga mat, so I borrowed one from Aladdin. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2578 Soft and fuzzy? I think you have been misinformed. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2579 What's the matter? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2580 The yoga class from 1977 called and said they are waiting for you. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2581 If it's a flying carpet, ok. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2582 Mat, not carpet. And please leave your shoes at the door. and your hat.................oh, never mind ! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2583 How about we start you in our pre-yoga class? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2584 That ommm coming from your rug is our Yogi. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2585 Delivery new friend, unfurl and relax. We can move the new rug karma later. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2586 And did you bring you 5 gallon water bottle? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2587 It really ties the room together. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2588 Woman: You're clearly here as a spectator. Wouldn't it be easier to just go home and use your parents' internet? Guy: Nah, Imma stay 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2589 Surprisingly, I'm not at all surprised. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2590 No, that is NOT 'just stretching things'. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2591 Relax. I'm a real estate guy. This is just what we do. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2592 Of course you did. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2593 Well, it's clear we don't have to stretch your ego. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2594 You always have to over-compensate. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2595 Aren't you a bit rugged for our studio? 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2596 The workout isn't murderous! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2597 I need the bigger mat because they say yoga makes you expand. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2598 I don't care if that qualifies as a "mat" in your 5,000-square feet McMansion. 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
2599 'Wife rolled into rug' is not a pose. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2600 No, I said I wanted a Persian hug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2601 How much mat lies matter. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2602 Tell Vinny once and for all; I pose, not dispose, bodies. 1.0000 0.70711 2 2 0 0
2603 It's supposed to be a mat not a flying carpet! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2604 You want more than your fair share, but you can't have it here, Mr. Trump. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2605 Please understand that we have only recently overcome the last flea infestation. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2606 I think you're looking for yoga for yutzes. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2607 Bro Down Yoga is two blocks over. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2608 Your parents' basement is two doors down. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2609 Alternative group participation starts next week. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2610 Our beginner's class includes a session on "Yoga for the tragically un-hip" 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2611 Is this your first yoga class? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2612 Going to one yoga class is not going to cause you to suddenly sprout a third eye. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2613 Ultimate manspeading. Not very namaste. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2614 You just said bring a mat 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2615 A little presumptively ambitious, don't you think? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2616 Oh, how sweet, that's so last millennium 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2617 Sorry sir, only sandwich-grade mats are allowed in this club. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2618 Non hotrgular guy with Napalese rug yoga is next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2619 We're done. You can set up for "Bro'ga" now. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2620 Really? You want to man spread in here? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2621 If that's not made of wheatgrass, get it out of here. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2622 The flyer said this was Persian yoga. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2623 You won't impress anyone with the size of your man rug. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2624 Another victim of the corpse pose. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2625 I think you've now reached the stage that some of the ancient masters called "jerkhood." 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2626 Ah yes, Persian mats are for the 1% class at 3 pm with Ambrosa in Studio Raj. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2627 If there's a dead body in rolled up in there, I'm not paying extra. 1.0000 0.70711 2 2 0 0
2628 This is the wrong place for a 3 for the price of 2 carpet room offer - Namaste 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2629 Yours is bigger than mine but you will still need to follow my poses. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2630 It is better than last week's beach chair. Here, just use mine! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2631 Yes, I can see your mat is big enough for two, but no, I do not want to practice Kama Sutra positioning with you. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2632 You've been here before. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2633 Yes the Instructor position is open, but I must say, you looked better on paper, Mr. Guru 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2634 Do the Lotus Pose on that mat and you’ll have a rash in places I’d rather not talk about. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2635 Shagpile lightweight! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2636 This neighborhood just isn't what it used to be... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2637 Sir, if it's not an organic alpaca blend we can't have it here. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2638 Hello, Matthew. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2639 We prefer to use overpriced underlay, not the actual carpet. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2640 Think of the possibilities. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2641 Eric, your claim of a flying carpet is a bit of a stretch and has no charka value with me 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2642 This is Yoga class. The Mafia after school program is next door. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2643 Let's focus on your attachment hunger today. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2644 I think you've misunderstood. We are not a vanity gym. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2645 I'm sorry, I just broke up with a Persian. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2646 A magic carpet will not help your lotus pose. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2647 Eco yoga is next hour. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2648 And when will the furniture be arriving? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2649 I figured that you weren’t gay, even before you asked me out. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2650 It's not Lululemon, but it'll do. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2651 Trust me when I tell you the teacher won't allow it, I'm a vegan. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2652 Persian kickboxing is in the next room. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2653 I guess you could kill two birds with one stone, but kneeling east towards Mecca, means you won't be facing the instructor. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2654 Hold that pose right there until it hurts. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2655 Where do you want the body? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2656 Vinyasa League spring training meets in our Mookie Wilson studio down the hall. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2657 Was the doorman asleep again because that looks a lot like the rug in the lobby? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2658 Where do you want this prayer rug? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2659 Sometimes an exercise mat is just an exercise mat. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2660 I think you'll find this much different from home fitness videos. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2661 I don't believe that "killing two birds with one prayer rug" is how the old saying goes, sir. 1.0000 0.11785 9 9 0 0
2662 More yoga, less mansplaying. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2663 But that's our sex rug, honey. I said bring a yoga mat! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2664 You're about to feel an inner piece. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2665 The Trump Yoga class is next door. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2666 Delivery for Mrs Trump! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2667 Still living with your parents? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2668 The competitive yoga class is upstairs. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2669 I thought I told you to leave your rug at home. It's ruining the finish. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2670 I know you're a growing boy. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2671 We find our current fad here quite satisfactory at the moment, thank you. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2672 No, this is slim flexible yoga . . . regular guy's yoga is at the bar next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2673 Hi. I'm afraid we can't accept new members at the moment, I'm sorry. Many people seem to be looking for spirituality, at the moment. The elections, you know. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2674 Yes we do have beginner's classes. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2675 Extreme Rug Beating is next door 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2676 So, I understand you have something that can remove downward dog. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2677 I'm sorry but I believe your looking for the Trump class this is the Hilary class. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2678 Is that mat of yours big enough for two downward dogs or is that a magic carpet? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2679 Yes you do have to take out the body first. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2680 Your dust is clouding my chakra. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2681 You say it's sweat absorbing and gluten free? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2682 Small hands? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2683 your Yoga mat IS your magic carpet, not the other way 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2684 No, no, no. Not “namaste”. I said you and the rug must not stay. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2685 No hats allowed. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2686 I'm sorry, but manspreading is not actually a form of yoga. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2687 It's okay, as long as you sit on it and don't light up. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2688 We can probably handle the rug and the shoes today, but I am going to say no to the lamp and the couch. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2689 Welcome to my yoga studio, ma'am 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2690 No, this workout won't take you on a magic carpet ride. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2691 No, it's dog down yoga, not "doggie-style" yoga! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2692 Leave you mat and your ego at the door. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2693 TRY BIG BOY RUG YOGA AROUND THE CORNER 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2694 Just fly in, Aladdin? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2695 I don't care if Mr. Trump says you have to think huge to be huge--and no, yoga is not all about the square-footage! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2696 That's very flattering, but I'm afraid I only date within my own species. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2697 It's BOW down yoga, not HOE down yoga 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2698 My concerns have nothing to do with its being from Iran. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2699 Persian Sufi Hatha refers to the technique, Matt. Not the mat, Matt! 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2700 Sorry, your mat's not gluten-free. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2701 Yes Mr. Noffsinger, we received the call from your boss. I understand you are taking the company's softball league very seriously... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2702 I'm sorry sir, there are absolutely no shoes allowed in the yoga room. And, um, oh nothing. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2703 No, I don't know "Magic Carpet Ride". 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2704 You shouldn't compensate with your mat. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2705 You realize I only let you use that so we can reach our 80%, right? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2706 Who are you, Casey at the Mat? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2707 You really should not be forcing your girlfriend to come to class. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2708 Prayer rugs are a different tradition... 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2709 Nama-go, Yoga Berra! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2710 You may be disappointed to learn that lululemon has recalled all those see-through ladies yoga pants. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2711 We do Upward and Downward Facing Dog, but not Dog Did My Rug. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2712 I'm very mindfully asking you to stick that where the sun salutations don't shine. Namaste. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2713 Too comfortable. Men's yoga is upstairs. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2714 Your mat's too aggressive. This is a yoga class. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2715 Does it fly? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2716 Are you sharing that joint with all of us? 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2717 How long have you had these anger issues? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2718 You must be the Bro-ga instructor. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2719 Sir, this rug Nama-STAYS on the floor. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2720 A rug is NOT a mat, just bigger. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2721 You are not in the wilderness, you are not earning your Eagle Badge, and that's not a Yoga mat ! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2722 It's about your shoe size 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2723 Nooooo. The Magic Carpet Riding Class is on Thursdays. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2724 Yoga for The Carpetbagger meets in the basement. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2725 I understand your need to reduce the confusion, Matt, but that's a rug.... 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2726 No- we don't offer Persian yoga here 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2727 Hard-core, are ya? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2728 I'm sorry; your mat is large enough for two or more. Yoga mats must be individual size. It's the law. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2729 Cleopatra, is that you? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2730 I'm sure your downward dog IS very furry. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2731 I could see, how much the studio's slogan "Come & Relax mind and body" inspired you. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2732 very amusing Cleo, but your still late! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2733 No, I ordered five one-foot mats. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2734 Are you disposing of a body? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2735 Isn't it the best place to sleep? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2736 Yes...it is possible, ancient Persia had some kind of Yoga. But...sir, that's not the point... 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2737 Technically you'd be munching my 'mat' 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2738 Our gift shop has affordable equipment options and financing terms are available. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2739 Even if yoga did originate in Persia the answer is still "NO:. 1.0000 0.18257 6 6 0 0
2740 We're not here for a slideshow. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2741 That isn't minimalist enough... 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2742 The beginners class is at noon. Ok, well I'll be back and namaste to you. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2743 No, your hemp mat will not get the class high, but you are welcome to use it. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2744 Sorry, in this studio, size doesn't matter. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2745 Take your rug and your New York Values outta here. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2746 Flying lessons are next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2747 Yes, I can see there is room for two on your mat. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2748 I am assuming that your new body is in there. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2749 The drapes don't match EVERY carpet dorkwad. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2750 No, I will not turn over all of my cash, unless you have something pointy rolled up in that carpet. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2751 Dump your stuff. Come with me. Tranquility awaits. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2752 Rug is optional, no hat and shoes, definitely no white socks. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2753 The Boston Red Sox prayer group meets upstairs in about an hour. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2754 I see yoga does matter to you! 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2755 It is not just a yoga mat, it is a yoga flying carpet. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2756 You say the Queen of Sheba came to bow down? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2757 Ah, you found Mr. Trump's toupee. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2758 Your reputation here’s gone downward, dawg. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2759 No, you may not market 'PhatMats' here. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2760 I see from your magic carpet you are looking for yogic flying. It's next door 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2761 I disagree. I don't think we need to add a class called "Bro-ga" 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2762 No, you can't just 'drop a body off' here. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2763 Not Mysore, eyesore. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2764 No, Yogi Berra Yoga is two doors down. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2765 A slot just came available this afternoon in our gym-rat, large-rug, White men can't yoga class. 1.0000 0.70711 2 2 0 0
2766 We don't do magic carpet rides here—try the Steppenwolf music studio next door. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2767 I think you're more of a runner than a yogi. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2768 OK Aladdin! But if it leaves the ground, you're out of here! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2769 I doubt that you'll do any better with a magic carpet than with an ordinary yoga mat. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2770 Why not? I do some of my best moves on this carpet. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2771 Nobody said “no carpet” This mat is not even on the market yet. This isn’t the carpet class, right? My wife said something about laying down in Yoga class. 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
2772 This is Bow Down Yoga sir not Bow Down Yogi. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2773 Your Magic Carpet cannot pause in my Studio! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2774 Is this the macho man yoga class? 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2775 That rug has to go - I can't be flexible. 1.0000 0.15430 7 7 0 0
2776 I can guarantee that your frequency will rise, sir. 1.0000 0.13363 8 8 0 0
2777 Sorry, the flying carpet classes are next door. 1.0000 0.22361 5 5 0 0
2778 I don't care if it's a genuine Persian yoga mat, it doesn't meet health and safety standards and I could loose my licence! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2779 It's the finest, pure breed, free-roaming Himalayan Yak hair. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2780 tepraC cigaM yM 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2781 Send Henrietta back. She's beyond our help. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2782 You're in the outward bow down class. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2783 Still man-spreading, Robert? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2784 "Get out of the well. Stop playing with that ceiling roller and give me a help". 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2785 I like the mat, but your outfit sucks. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2786 Please don't light that smudge stick in here. 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2787 I heard the World was ending, and wanted to ask God if he could postpone this event a one more time. 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0
2788 Let me guess--You bought your mat at Costco? 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2789 ''Magic carpet rides is the new yoga. '' 1.0000 0.28868 4 4 0 0
2790 'Yoga mat,' not 'Yurt carpet'! 1.0000 0.40825 3 3 0 0