Contest #579


Cartoon

579


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started 2017-08-14
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued 2017-08-27 (estimated)
Number of captions 6999
Number of responses 480412
Number of participants 13245


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 The truth is you came from a box of free kittens. 2.0132 0.01006 6602 2163 2189 2250
1 Get over yourself... it was ONE mouse! 2.0025 0.01227 3977 1185 1597 1195
2 Our estate planner wants to know if you would like your inheritance in a lump sum or spread out over nine lives. 1.9973 0.01244 3704 1066 1582 1056
3 He does know the dog got more votes, right? 1.9751 0.01160 4620 1495 1745 1380
4 It doesn't mean you won't still be royalty. It just means there will be no heir. 1.9632 0.01817 2010 705 674 631
5 The taxidermist really captured his personality. 1.9595 0.01227 4415 1560 1474 1381
6 You see, "reigning" cats and dogs can have two different meanings ... 1.9501 0.01827 1744 553 725 466
7 We're sorry we didn't think about your line of succession before we...you know. 1.9301 0.01574 2505 871 938 696
8 No, your majesty, eating the canaries was not what we meant when we asked you to stop the tweeting. 1.8927 0.01230 4230 1605 1474 1151
9 he just got his resuslts from ancestry.com 1.8777 0.01302 3441 1240 1382 819
10 Whatever, he still shits in a box. 1.8509 0.01306 3930 1653 1210 1067
11 After legalizing catnip, nothing else seems important to him 1.8473 0.01212 3935 1483 1570 882
12 A royal heir? Nice try, but you're still getting neutered. 1.8364 0.01210 3968 1529 1559 880
13 This is a bit awkward, Sire, but the parakeet is missing. 1.8330 0.01237 3724 1424 1498 802
14 Why is it always the orange ones with delusions of grandeur? 1.8097 0.01375 3352 1442 1106 804
15 We're just saying, it might be tough to rule the world when you sleep for 12 hours a day 1.7932 0.01300 3216 1275 1331 610
16 Even if he's deposed, I'm sure he'll land on his feet. 1.7859 0.01346 3055 1242 1225 588
17 I know the Egyptians used to worship them, but you're from the Bronx. 1.7734 0.02041 1324 549 526 249
18 YOU'RE the one who wanted to call him Donald! 1.7656 0.01505 2820 1308 865 647
19 Maybe children would be easier. 1.7635 0.01651 2161 952 768 441
20 He's overcompensating for his tiny claws. 1.7595 0.01487 2798 1283 905 610
21 I wanted a rescue, but all they had was an exile. 1.7465 0.02157 1341 631 419 291
22 Ok, I'll say it--the emperor has no claws. 1.7456 0.01477 2622 1168 953 501
23 We'd prefer you 'think' inside the box. 1.7347 0.01790 1949 935 596 418
24 Sorry, but we had to remove your family jewels. 1.7162 0.01563 2417 1154 795 468
25 We never should have let him watch the Lion King. 1.7084 0.01509 2459 1151 874 434
26 No, we're not changing the name of your litter box to Mar-a-Gato. 1.7050 0.02205 1251 619 382 250
27 Let’s go back to dry food. 1.7035 0.05078 226 109 75 42
28 I know you don't want to move, but do you think you could just check that you're not sitting on the remote? 1.6947 0.01746 1798 851 645 302
29 He clawed his way to the top. 1.6880 0.01686 1955 943 679 333
30 I know we are supposed to fight over pets when we divorce, but you can have him. 1.6843 0.02288 1118 559 353 206
31 We shouldn't have named him Donald 1.6802 0.02809 813 432 209 172
32 This is why no one names a cat Rex. 1.6801 0.01841 1613 781 567 265
33 It could be worse. He could think he's the president. 1.6716 0.01859 1705 874 517 314
34 The dog wants to know if he can come back in. 1.6667 0.01812 1635 802 576 257
35 What do you mean you've had the dog beheaded? 1.6626 0.02934 729 393 189 147
36 At three you have the Royal Scratching Post. At four the Ball of Twine arrives... 1.6620 0.01849 1571 777 548 246
37 OK then, we'll build a moat and have the dog pay for it. 1.6598 0.02467 976 512 284 180
38 He said he still wants to build a scratching post and have us pay for it. 1.6514 0.02844 697 360 220 117
39 ...........but over time, Fluffy, the Egyptians realized that their cats weren't gods 1.6478 0.01855 1488 735 542 211
40 Yes Leo,you're King. But we own the can opener 1.6431 0.02815 636 314 235 87
41 He's wondering what happened to the royal jewels. 1.6406 0.02007 1358 703 440 215
42 We decided we are actually dog people. 1.6242 0.02563 833 443 260 130
43 I just worry we spoil him sometimes. 1.6168 0.02321 976 515 320 141
44 Ok, let's go over this again. The Lion King was a completely different kind of cat. 1.6153 0.02806 642 333 223 86
45 Sometimes he wants to execute Jacobites, but we just distract him with string. 1.6151 0.02928 634 341 196 97
46 I don't want to be the one to tell him we're getting a dog. 1.6147 0.02168 1103 580 368 155
47 The vet says she's got affluenza. 1.6144 0.03995 376 213 95 68
48 You just told him what "fixed" really means? 1.6111 0.02209 1085 580 347 158
49 Try to remember where you last were when you were wearing the boots. 1.6071 0.03293 537 303 142 92
50 We should have listened to the people at the shelter. 1.6037 0.02299 974 520 320 134
51 Lazy, overweight and an inexperienced leader. Sounds vaguely familiar. 1.5953 0.02788 719 405 200 114
52 Well, we've requested an audience with you today, Your Highness, to ask you to stop urinating on the couch. 1.5933 0.02498 863 479 256 128
53 Don't let them get to you. It's all fake mews. 1.5922 0.02676 770 433 218 119
54 It's time to go out and do something with your nine lives 1.5904 0.03286 459 246 155 58
55 Perhaps having children would have been easier 1.5837 0.02438 812 435 280 97
56 The taxidermy really captured his essence. 1.5827 0.02559 822 464 237 121
57 Next time, let's get a taxidermist who's a little less whimsical. 1.5775 0.02979 587 329 177 81
58 Trump tried to grab him. 1.5758 0.03135 759 512 57 190
59 His videos bought this house. He deserves a little respect. 1.5742 0.03243 512 293 144 75
60 Sorry your highness, but I think you can handle licking yourself on your own. 1.5728 0.02667 735 416 217 102
61 C'mon, Bob, we both let this happen. 1.5709 0.03027 550 307 172 71
62 This is the 8th cat we've named Henry 1.5702 0.02768 691 395 198 98
63 His shrimp was limp. 1.5700 0.03187 714 478 65 171
64 We were hoping that maybe we could sleep on the bed tonight? 1.5629 0.02981 588 338 169 81
65 We think you can lick your own butt. 1.5565 0.03171 575 350 130 95
66 I'm so glad this is the final season of Game of Thrones. 1.5556 0.02889 603 345 181 77
67 You don't think we're spoiling him, do you? 1.5523 0.02854 574 320 191 63
68 I spoke with the therapist again today and she actually had the nerve to say the problem might be us. 1.5447 0.03344 470 279 126 65
69 We want to get a dog. 1.5446 0.03125 527 310 147 70
70 But "Le Chat, C'est Moi" can't be your only policy. 1.5434 0.02973 541 309 170 62
71 Cats have nine lives, not eight wives. 1.5431 0.03071 534 312 154 68
72 What does he mean by, "Meow is the winter of our discontent."? 1.5391 0.04625 256 156 62 38
73 We said castration, not coronation. 1.5382 0.03248 511 310 127 74
74 Le chat, c'est moi. 1.5381 0.03442 433 257 119 57
75 Tsk Tsk. Puss in Booze, and drunk again. 1.5375 0.03321 506 312 116 78
76 Worst case scenario: He reigns for the whole four years. 1.5364 0.03079 494 283 157 54
77 We've been seeing a lot more animals in leadership positions ever since that orangutan was elected President. 1.5363 0.03312 496 303 120 73
78 I like the way it fits right over the catbox. 1.5357 0.03355 448 265 126 57
79 Get a grip Arthur, your father was a Chicago cat named Three Toes and your mother was a Persian stripper... 1.5351 0.03109 499 290 151 58
80 Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown and gags up hair balls. 1.5346 0.03283 492 298 125 69
81 Look, there will be no heir. Remember that doctor's visit? 1.5337 0.03273 489 295 127 67
82 You ARE the greatest cat who ever lived and you have the biggest paws. 1.5328 0.03240 488 292 132 64
83 You know you're becoming a royal pain in the ass. 1.5298 0.03266 470 280 131 59
84 You shouldn't have named him Clawdius. 1.5272 0.03311 459 275 126 58
85 Do you think we are spoiling him? 1.5270 0.03217 463 272 138 53
86 He's a rescue from Trump Tower. 1.5197 0.03565 431 271 96 64
87 We're "cat people," but not "the' cat's people. 1.5188 0.03409 426 257 117 52
88 Maybe just marking your territory is enough. 1.5187 0.03476 428 263 108 57
89 I miss Rover and his democratic socialist platform. 1.5174 0.03508 402 243 110 49
90 The shelter called. They found your scepter. 1.5128 0.03630 392 243 97 52
91 My other throne is a litter box. 1.5124 0.03437 402 241 116 45
92 I'm sorry but you just can't pardon yourself for going on the rug. 1.5113 0.03451 397 238 115 44
93 It's his Trump imitation. 1.5102 0.03616 394 245 97 52
94 One viral video and suddenly he thinks his litter doesn't stink. 1.5091 0.03606 385 237 100 48
95 Not what you expect from a rescue cat. 1.5028 0.03525 356 211 111 34
96 Dogs have masters. Cats have subjects. 1.5028 0.03721 356 220 93 43
97 We feel like the Fancy Feast has gone to your head. 1.5027 0.03581 372 227 103 42
98 We may have crossed the line between pampering and enabling. 1.4970 0.03754 338 208 92 38
99 You may think you're royal, but I've got the can opener. 1.4957 0.03682 347 213 96 38
100 He got his DNA test results back today. 1.4955 0.03609 335 200 104 31
101 It's too much. He's gone through 14 of my house plants, eight catnip toys and now three Communication directors. 1.4910 0.03739 334 206 92 36
102 He still thinks he won the popular vote. 1.4906 0.04152 320 211 61 48
103 Well Donald, that's what you get when you tell a genie that you want some "Royal Pussy". 1.4895 0.04202 333 226 51 56
104 I think we should cut back on the fancy feast. 1.4881 0.07084 84 50 27 7
105 I told the taxidermist that I wanted him to look majestic. 1.4879 0.04054 330 217 65 48
106 Nothing was too good for her – EVERYTHING WAS !!! 1.4878 0.04141 328 219 58 51
107 Sometimes the mice just win. 1.4851 0.03907 303 188 83 32
108 Did your mother say when she'd be back to pick him up? 1.4845 0.04112 291 185 71 35
109 This is the last time we're cat sitting 1.4824 0.03973 313 200 75 38
110 As you start your 2nd life, we got a companion pet - a pit-bull. 1.4823 0.04069 311 202 68 41
111 He's been like this since I cancelled his Twitter account. 1.4805 0.04021 308 198 72 38
112 Please don't look so sad; the package clearly stated that the orb and scepter were being shipped separately. 1.4785 0.03792 303 186 89 28
113 I liked it better when he was an "outside" cat. 1.4744 0.03884 293 182 83 28
114 Trumpy what's wrong? 1.4737 0.08266 76 50 16 10
115 You gotta admit, it's a lot better than his "Brando" stage. 1.4724 0.03912 290 181 81 28
116 I liked him more when HE brought US mice. 1.4722 0.04023 288 183 74 31
117 He's been like this since Brexit. 1.4706 0.04072 289 186 70 33
118 He wants nine wives, too. 1.4706 0.04228 272 176 64 32
119 He's bored. Get your mouse costume out. 1.4700 0.04075 283 181 71 31
120 Well yeah, it's definitely a little troubling, but I'm pretty sure our emperor has no claws. 1.4679 0.03947 280 175 79 26
121 But you really DON'T have any clothes. 1.4655 0.04096 275 176 70 29
122 We're not gonna taste your food anymore. 1.4649 0.03937 271 168 80 23
123 What do you mean "we're fired"!? 1.4630 0.04151 270 174 67 29
124 He didn't act like this at the shelter. 1.4627 0.04207 268 174 64 30
125 Well Joe, it seems our cat is having a fifth-life crisis. 1.4624 0.04362 266 177 55 34
126 I know cats. Cats are friends of mine. You're no cat. 1.4604 0.04534 265 182 44 39
127 Cat heir. 1.4604 0.04139 265 170 68 27
128 He's going through his mid-lives crisis. 1.4600 0.04465 250 166 53 31
129 I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to understand why he'd gotten dropped off at the shelter. 1.4598 0.04220 261 169 64 28
130 Where did you find him -- the White House? 1.4577 0.04335 260 172 57 31
131 We're thinking about getting a dog 1.4545 0.04242 253 164 63 26
132 I'm terrified what your mother gave me is NOT a house cat. 1.4538 0.04782 238 165 38 35
133 I guess we should have had kids after all. 1.4516 0.04226 248 160 64 24
134 A French Poodle and German Shepherd are here to see you about Brexit. 1.4516 0.04341 248 163 58 27
135 I can't behead him; he's my husband... 1.4516 0.04378 248 164 56 28
136 This is not what I meant when I said you could have free reign of the house. 1.4508 0.03990 244 151 76 17
137 We tempted fate by naming our eighth cat Henry 1.4504 0.04097 242 152 71 19
138 What do you mean by, 'Make the Litterbox great Again.' 1.4481 0.04509 241 162 50 29
139 And I just want to add what a privilege it is to empty your litter box. 1.4477 0.04690 239 165 41 33
140 We're making you an outdoor cat 1.4394 0.08671 66 45 13 8
141 Do you think we should name him Donald? 1.4390 0.07970 82 57 14 11
142 I realize now I'm more of a dog person. 1.4369 0.04298 222 143 61 18
143 I don't think that just because you're fat, orange, and compelled to destroy other people's things we should make you king 1.4364 0.04693 220 150 44 26
144 She knows it's just for a day, right? 1.4364 0.04325 220 142 60 18
145 I really didn't mind until she had the dog beheaded. 1.4364 0.04909 220 155 34 31
146 We said 'your leash', not 'your liege'......... 1.4332 0.04413 217 142 56 19
147 "You're king now, but wait until Brutus comes home from dog camp!". 1.4332 0.04215 217 138 64 15
148 YOU put him back in the alley. 1.4332 0.04829 217 151 38 28
149 Really? Build a dog wall?? 1.4292 0.04631 212 143 47 22
150 Do you think we are spoiling the cat? 1.4279 0.04388 208 135 57 16
151 Seriously,..."Caviar" is not cat food! 1.4279 0.04441 208 136 55 17
152 Great. An English Tabby with a Napoleon Complex. 1.4272 0.04728 206 140 44 22
153 We have to build a cat flap. He says Mexico will pay for it. 1.4229 0.05014 201 142 33 26
154 The Queen of Spayeds. 1.4229 0.04600 201 134 49 18
155 Chester, you were a kitten in that YouTube video. You have to move on. 1.4227 0.04774 194 131 44 19
156 Really, those "Impeach the Orange Hairball!" signs weren't for you. 1.4221 0.05051 199 141 32 26
157 Of course you're going to feel bloated if you keep eating everyone who disagrees with you. 1.4213 0.04720 197 133 45 19
158 Karma demands her reincarnation as a servile cat-owner. 1.4213 0.05338 197 145 21 31
159 No, your paws are not too small to be king. 1.4192 0.04914 198 138 37 23
160 Do you think he knows this is his 9th life? 1.4185 0.05077 184 128 35 21
161 OK. But just for a day! 1.4184 0.04450 196 128 54 14
162 You've been to London to see the queen again, haven't you? 1.4175 0.04825 194 133 41 20
163 The first step is recognizing that there is a problem. 1.4175 0.04713 194 131 45 18
164 Yes, we are divorcing. And it IS your fault! 1.4175 0.04656 194 130 47 17
165 We need to talk to you about your twitter account. 1.4175 0.04713 194 131 45 18
166 The vet said Nine Lives, not Nine Wives. 1.4175 0.04656 194 130 47 17
167 Well first of all, we're really not cat people. 1.4149 0.04699 188 126 46 16
168 Doug, I told you it was a bad idea to let him watch Game of Thrones. 1.4118 0.05010 187 131 35 21
169 Can I peel you a mouse? 1.4114 0.05387 175 126 26 23
170 We're sorry. We weren't thinking about your successor when we had you neutered. 1.4108 0.05107 185 131 32 22
171 The other pets have asked for this intervention. 1.4108 0.04811 185 126 42 17
172 It's pretty clear we've screwed up this cat royally... 1.4108 0.04811 185 126 42 17
173 The hour of the vacuum draws ever closer Sire, I advise full retreat. 1.4108 0.04560 185 122 50 13
174 Let's get a dog. 1.4108 0.04811 185 126 42 17
175 Of course I'm sure that the real kings of the jungle also use a litterbox. 1.4108 0.04495 185 121 52 12
176 I don't know where he gets it from, but the vet says Fancy Feast is a gateway food. 1.4101 0.05009 178 123 37 18
177 You've got to get this catnip thing under control. 1.4094 0.05217 149 100 37 12
178 Sure, impeachment may revoke the remainder of your nine lives. 1.4078 0.04923 179 123 39 17
179 You may be not a real king, but you're still a royal pain. 1.4066 0.04863 182 125 40 17
180 Told you not to name him Cat King Cole. 1.4056 0.04901 180 124 39 17
181 I guess catching the mouse is out of the question. 1.4045 0.05251 178 128 28 22
182 He binge watched Game of Thrones. 1.4045 0.04809 178 121 42 15
183 You can't fire us. We're the people. 1.4045 0.05067 178 125 34 19
184 We feed him gourmet cat food one time... 1.4045 0.05067 178 125 34 19
185 The vet said we can have him dethroned by next Wednesday. 1.4045 0.05004 178 124 36 18
186 We've decided that we shouldn't leave "Game of Thrones" on for you when we go out. 1.4045 0.04875 178 122 40 16
187 You're not a king, Donald! You're an overweight pussy who associates with vermin. 1.4045 0.05311 178 129 26 23
188 Nothing we do for him is good enough 1.4045 0.05129 178 126 32 20
189 ..not wives ...lives.... nine lives 1.4045 0.04875 178 122 40 16
190 Well, it's an improvement over his Egyptian phase. 1.4034 0.04847 176 120 41 15
191 Okay, let me get this straight. Dogs have Masters...Cats have Staff! 1.4034 0.04427 176 114 53 9
192 He thinks he won the popular vote. 1.4033 0.04816 181 124 41 16
193 We should never have sent in for his DNA results ... 1.4033 0.04816 181 124 41 16
194 That's not the pussy I wanted you to treat like royalty. 1.4023 0.05150 174 123 32 19
195 Queen Elizabeth generally keeps her legs together and her privates covered. 1.4023 0.04817 174 118 42 14
196 He still seems somehow...disenchanted, like...it's not enough. 1.4012 0.04993 172 119 37 16
197 Look, I think the dog has been in the dungeon long enough. 1.4012 0.04713 172 115 45 12
198 What we said was: "We wish you were more LOYAL." 1.4012 0.05060 172 120 35 17
199 Perhaps we should consider treating him more like a pet. 1.4012 0.04993 172 119 37 16
200 And he was so humble when we picked him up at the shelter. 1.4000 0.04822 170 115 42 13
201 We should never had taught him to play chess. 1.4000 0.04675 170 113 46 11
202 We can best serve you if you tell us why you're disappointed in us. 1.4000 0.05102 170 119 34 17
203 Before you have him executed I think you should know - he is the one who cleans your litter box. 1.3988 0.05103 173 122 33 18
204 Perhaps he is about to cough up an edict. 1.3988 0.05036 173 121 35 17
205 Fancy Feast is a cat food, not a lifestyle. 1.3988 0.04762 173 117 43 13
206 John has asked me to marry him. 1.3988 0.05103 173 122 33 18
207 Why do you say I spoil him? 1.3977 0.05078 171 120 34 17
208 We're not asking you to abdicate, just to use the litter box. 1.3977 0.04870 171 117 40 14
209 You - scratch my belly. And you - tell me I'm a good kitty 1.3977 0.05277 171 123 28 20
210 Your father and I have something to tell you. You're just a friggin' cat. 1.3964 0.05051 169 118 35 16
211 No, really--we're happy to sleep in the living room. Anything else? 1.3964 0.04910 169 116 39 14
212 This all started with the Fancy Feast. 1.3964 0.05256 169 121 29 19
213 No you won't have any heirs. We are just calling a spayed a spade. 1.3952 0.05093 167 117 34 16
214 Consider this an intervention. 1.3952 0.04876 167 114 40 13
215 The dog isn't going to like this. 1.3952 0.05164 167 118 32 17
216 What have we done? 1.3952 0.05164 167 118 32 17
217 Only six months and he's already drunk with power. 1.3952 0.05164 167 118 32 17
218 He's been this way ever since his video hit one million views. 1.3952 0.05022 167 116 36 15
219 Maybe we were being too cute when we named him Louie Catorze. 1.3952 0.04950 167 115 38 14
220 Yesterday he made me put on a hat with bells and tell him jokes. 1.3939 0.05064 165 115 35 15
221 And you thought I was self absorbed. 1.3939 0.05064 165 115 35 15
222 It's not that you have no clothes, it's more that you really don't even need them. 1.3939 0.04916 165 113 39 13
223 We never should have let him get that Ancestry.com account! 1.3939 0.05278 165 118 29 18
224 Honestly, I prefer when it's reigning dogs. 1.3926 0.05253 163 116 30 17
225 He liked the Lion King better than Cats. 1.3926 0.04722 163 109 44 10
226 You miscounted, Henry. The last life was your eighth. 1.3926 0.05107 163 114 34 15
227 Maybe it's time we had a kid. 1.3926 0.05395 163 118 26 19
228 Sometimes when my meds thin out, I see glimpses of how absurd we've become. 1.3926 0.05107 163 114 34 15
229 Then we agree. Whoever gets the kids must also take the cat. 1.3913 0.04920 161 110 39 12
230 Please stop leaving dead peasants on the stoop. 1.3913 0.05151 161 113 33 15
231 Remember that time we talked about three co-equal branches of government? 1.3899 0.05196 159 112 32 15
232 This place is a dump! #Sad 1.3899 0.05119 159 111 34 14
233 I know some people call it the 'throne', but you still need to use your litter box. 1.3889 0.04895 162 111 39 12
234 ...and that's why there can't be an heir to your throne. 1.3889 0.05624 162 121 19 22
235 Heavy lies the cat who wears the crown. 1.3889 0.04895 162 111 39 12
236 But you still have to go in the box. 1.3885 0.05163 157 110 33 14
237 We have it from a credible source there has been an assassination attempt on one of your nine lives. 1.3865 0.05099 163 115 33 15
238 Do you want the man to leave? 1.3865 0.04948 163 113 37 13
239 As your friends, we feel we need to talk to you about your use of catnip." 1.3865 0.05024 163 114 35 14
240 It's not relaxed, Dad. It's dead. 1.3865 0.05388 163 119 25 19
241 This has got to stop. "Treat your pet like royalty" is just a slogan on your food can. 1.3846 0.04852 156 106 40 10
242 Will our lordship be dining on Salmon Dinner or Poultry Platter this evening? 1.3846 0.05261 156 111 30 15
243 We should have told you earlier, but the real reason you can't produce an heir is because we had you fixed as a kitten. 1.3846 0.05566 156 115 22 19
244 He's still living off of his kitten YouTube fame. 1.3831 0.04532 154 101 47 6
245 I'm afraid it's true, you're adopted. 1.3831 0.05388 154 111 27 16
246 You're right, it doesn't work without the boots. 1.3831 0.05146 154 108 33 13
247 He's depressed. The mice won't pledge their allegiance, and he can't Twitter about it. 1.3831 0.05228 154 109 31 14
248 King or not, we're still going to need you to poop in that box. 1.3831 0.05063 154 107 35 12
249 Are you sure this was a condition of Aunt Gertrude's will? 1.3831 0.04892 154 105 39 10
250 He says you can stay...apparently, you amuse him. 1.3831 0.05146 154 108 33 13
251 All I wanted to do was make the backyard great again. 1.3831 0.05063 154 107 35 12
252 Ok, the throne can stay but the guillotine goes. 1.3831 0.04978 154 106 37 11
253 My guess: New Jersey's governor at the beach? 1.3831 0.05146 154 108 33 13
254 It really hurts our feelings when you tell all your friends that you were adopted by dog people. 1.3831 0.05308 154 110 29 15
255 We don't understand the electoral college either. 1.3831 0.04892 154 105 39 10
256 L'etat, c'est meow 1.3816 0.05357 152 109 28 15
257 You were adopted. 1.3816 0.05021 152 105 36 11
258 He's been like this ever since he got his ancestry.com report. 1.3816 0.04934 152 104 38 10
259 They do say to "dress for the job you want." 1.3816 0.05107 152 106 34 12
260 Get off the throne and use the litter box. 1.3816 0.05438 152 110 26 16
261 I didn’t dress him up. I thought you dressed him up. 1.3786 0.05596 140 101 25 14
262 Is it the ermine trim that troubles you? 1.3784 0.04927 148 101 38 9
263 We know you have a big following on youtube but you still have to use the litter box. 1.3784 0.04538 148 97 46 5
264 You voted for him... 1.3784 0.05373 148 106 28 14
265 Maybe he shouldn't have eaten all four-and-twenty blackbirds. 1.3784 0.05287 148 105 30 13
266 Peel me a mouse. 1.3784 0.05458 148 107 26 15
267 I think it started when that video of him walking on the piano went viral. 1.3784 0.04737 148 99 42 7
268 What did you do with the dog? 1.3759 0.05282 141 99 31 11
269 We know Henry, you thought you would be a Tudor king, not a neutered king, but you are still royalty to us, even without your crown "jewels." 1.3758 0.05082 149 104 34 11
270 Listen, we don't care who you were in a past life. 1.3758 0.04900 149 102 38 9
271 ....a funny story about your inability to produce an heir.... 1.3741 0.05217 147 104 31 12
272 Now that you've conquered the internet, let's talk about conquering your litter box. 1.3741 0.04942 147 101 37 9
273 You think the Colorado Catnip was just a bit too much? 1.3733 0.05054 150 105 34 11
274 It's a case of Lion King Syndrome. 1.3731 0.07317 67 46 17 4
275 He's got some entitlement issues... 1.3724 0.04888 145 99 38 8
276 You should have told us sooner that you wished to sire an heir. 1.3724 0.05080 145 101 34 10
277 What do you mean, spoiled him? 1.3724 0.05080 145 101 34 10
278 What possessed you to babysit Trump's cat? 1.3724 0.05532 145 106 24 15
279 While funny at first, we have now realized that calling you 'The Donald' was a bad idea. 1.3714 0.07926 70 51 12 7
280 Maybe it's always seemed like it, but we are not your minions. 1.3706 0.04829 143 97 39 7
281 There's always going to be someone with more YouTube views. 1.3706 0.05126 143 100 33 10
282 Since we're all family, I think I'm allowed to tell you the decree you left in the spare bedroom really stinks. 1.3706 0.05221 143 101 31 11
283 I told you, binge watching Game of Thrones was a bad idea! 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
284 No one enjoys life #6 very much. 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
285 And this is only the first of his nine lives. 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
286 We’ve decided to become dog people. 1.3688 0.05074 141 98 34 9
287 And WHAT would you do with a horse? 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
288 Ok. one more time.. Where's the Dog ? 1.3688 0.04973 141 97 36 8
289 Define 'spoiled.' 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
290 I think we should explain why you won't be having an heir. 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
291 I told you not to name him Donald. 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
292 We understand that you rule the land, but you still need to use the litterbox. 1.3650 0.05567 137 100 24 13
293 You're the one who named him Rex. 1.3650 0.05270 137 97 30 10
294 I used his scepter to scoop the litter box. 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
295 Maybe it's time to tell him he's a cat. 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
296 I miss the dog 1.3609 0.05373 133 95 28 10
297 We know. But that was the jungle. This is Poughkeepsie. 1.3609 0.05478 133 96 26 11
298 There's no easy way to say it Princess, but we're not your birth parents. 1.3607 0.07026 61 41 18 2
299 He stars in one viral video... 1.3588 0.05205 131 92 31 8
300 Do you think he hates it when we anthropomorphize him? 1.3588 0.05317 131 93 29 9
301 I liked it better when he was just a fat cat. 1.3588 0.05317 131 93 29 9
302 Maybe the four and twenty blackbirds baked in the pie was a bit too much. 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
303 Do we even have a milk chalice? 1.3588 0.05533 131 95 25 11
304 I told you not to go to the animal rescue shelter on Park Avenue 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
305 Dear, our cat is becoming a royal pain. 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
306 I don't care. He still gets canned food. 1.3588 0.05317 131 93 29 9
307 Just don't sit like that on the subway. 1.3588 0.05533 131 95 25 11
308 Well, at least he can't tweet. 1.3588 0.05741 131 97 21 13
309 Don't let that Best In Show award get to your head... 1.3588 0.05205 131 92 31 8
310 I still have claw marks from our last coup attempt 1.3588 0.05205 131 92 31 8
311 Probably shouldn't have named him Ceasar. 1.3588 0.05741 131 97 21 13
312 Would it be OK if we got a pet? 1.3588 0.05317 131 93 29 9
313 I thought he was your cat. 1.3588 0.05638 131 96 23 12
314 It's a place in the country where you'll have lots of other cats to reign over. 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
315 The dry cat food was an experiment...a mistake really. 1.3577 0.05256 137 98 29 10
316 We felt it's time for an intervention. 1.3577 0.05554 137 101 23 13
317 All he ever really wanted was to win the popular vote. 1.3577 0.05357 137 99 27 11
318 Well I voted for the dog. 1.3577 0.05457 137 100 25 12
319 He just read his DNA report from Ancestry .com. 1.3566 0.05697 129 95 22 12
320 We told you to word your three wishes carefully, Sir. 1.3566 0.05369 129 92 28 9
321 I wish we had just cremated him. 1.3566 0.05697 129 95 22 12
322 On the count of three, you distract him and I'll grab the remote. 1.3566 0.05019 129 89 34 6
323 What do you mean, we should name her after my mother? 1.3566 0.05697 129 95 22 12
324 Puss, it's only a pair of boots. We can buy you some new ones. 1.3566 0.05481 129 93 26 10
325 It's no more 'Game of Thrones' for you. 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
326 We just think...maybe it's time to consider community college. 1.3561 0.05805 132 99 19 14
327 Pretend you rule the house all you want, but you can be impeached. 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
328 I know this was in your mother's will but . . . 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
329 'Clearly, she's spent too much time around your mother." 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
330 Even though we'll no longer be married the prince & princess will still serve you. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
331 I know he's insufferable but at least we don't have mice. 1.3538 0.05106 130 91 32 7
332 Your father and I think you're being a bit of a drama queen. 1.3538 0.05764 130 97 20 13
333 Okay, now he's Henry the Eighth. Are you going to tell him about the 9 lives thing? 1.3538 0.07731 65 47 13 5
334 Yes, Felix, here you are King, but in the jungle you are just somebody's lunch. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
335 With all due respect your majesty, we will not behead the dog. 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
336 Honey, he's marked his territory, and we just have to get used to it. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
337 O.K. We've exiled the dog. Now what? 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
338 I think it would be more respectful to just bury him. 1.3516 0.05826 128 96 19 13
339 It's great our marriage has found a shared focus. 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
340 He's a spoiled, selfish little creature who needs constant attention and thinks he's the center of the universe. Let's call him Trumpy. 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
341 We know this is tough to hear, but your kitty litter does stink. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
342 Should we tell him he has no clothes? 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
343 Clearly the Fancy Feast has gone to her head. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
344 Maybe he should go back to regular cat food. 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
345 Don't shhhhhh me! If he tries to grab THIS pussy I'll scratch his eyes out with fire and fury the world has never seen. 1.3516 0.05931 128 97 17 14
346 He says he's Pussyrus of the House Pussyrian, The Litter-Born, First of His Name, The Father of Hairballs, Chaser of Mice, The Scratcher of Posts. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
347 It could be worse: He could get a Twitter account. 1.3504 0.05735 117 85 23 9
348 How do we tell him he didn't win the popular vote? 1.3504 0.05986 117 87 19 11
349 There was a mix-up at the DNA lab. It turns out you're just a housecat. 1.3492 0.05670 126 93 22 11
350 Hopefully this is the ninth life and not the first. 1.3478 0.05799 115 84 22 9
351 You're bored? Use another one of your lives. 1.3475 0.05694 118 86 23 9
352 This belly isn't going to rub itself, you know. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
353 we're pregnant.... 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
354 Since the dog died he's become impossible. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
355 I think he ate your medical marijuana. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
356 Cattitude 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
357 We've decided to form our own nation, led by the people. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
358 Now that WE'VE gotten rid of the dog, shouldn't YOU be getting rid of the mice? 1.3451 0.05865 113 83 21 9
359 My cat? I thought he was your cat! 1.3448 0.06011 116 87 18 11
360 It must be a heir ball 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
361 Think, where did you leave the boots? 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
362 I was sure he had 2 more left. 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
363 Having a distant relative who's king of the jungle, doesn't really benefit you here. 1.3443 0.04767 122 83 36 3
364 I said we should get a dog, but noooooo! 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
365 1. You are not a lion. 2. This is not a jungle. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
366 I'm glad to see our shelter cat is adjusting well. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
367 Sorry, the vet thought it was necessary to do that. But you'll always be king in this house. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
368 "You ate a tweet or you sent a tweet?'' 1.3426 0.06052 108 80 19 9
369 You're turning us into dog people. 1.3423 0.06711 111 88 8 15
370 Where did you last see your boots? 1.3421 0.05687 114 83 23 8
371 Yes, we are cat people but don't press your luck. 1.3421 0.05407 114 81 27 6
372 But we like the dog. 1.3421 0.05953 114 85 19 10
373 I know we're a disappointment... 1.3421 0.05822 114 84 21 9
374 I wonder why she was up for adoption? 1.3421 0.06082 114 86 17 11
375 That's fake mews. 1.3419 0.05967 117 88 18 11
376 We thought it was cute at first Sire. Now we'd like you to abdicate. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
377 You've been neutered. There are no heirs to your throne. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
378 I told you if you kept buying that fancy food it would go to his head. 1.3417 0.05225 120 85 29 6
379 At the pound, they did say he was aloof. 1.3417 0.05090 120 84 31 5
380 We appreciate your eating all the mice in the kingdom, but you really should have paced yourself. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
381 He's been down ever since they've been saying he has small paws. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
382 You were right, the Emperor has no clothes. 1.3417 0.05857 120 90 19 11
383 I'm sorry, but you can't behead the vet. 1.3417 0.05857 120 90 19 11
384 We've looked everywhere your excellency, but there's no sign of your covfefe. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
385 Should we tell him he's neutered? 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
386 Maybe we shouldn't have let him watch The Lion King. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
387 He thinks he rescued us. 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
388 Must you do this every time Game of Thrones is on? 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
389 Do you think we may have spoiled her? 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
390 Maybe His Highness should be eating Fiskies Lite? 1.3417 0.05225 120 85 29 6
391 @RealGrumpyCat just unfollowed him. 1.3393 0.06024 112 84 18 10
392 L'etat, c'est meow 1.3390 0.05412 118 85 26 7
393 Would you go along with having us drop the dog off at a shelter instead of shooting him? 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
394 I'd have just had him cremated. 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
395 He doesn't chase mice anymore. He demands they be deported." 1.3390 0.05277 118 84 28 6
396 On the upside, though, he hasn't figured out how to use twitter. 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
397 We should have never agreed to have his DNA tested. 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
398 Our therapist said we've spoiled you, so we stopped going. Want some tuna? 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
399 Dad, what do you think Chairman Meow thinks about? 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
400 Cuddles--Daddy and I feel we need to cut back on your 'Games of Thrones' viewing. 1.3390 0.05800 118 88 20 10
401 Look, we regret letting you out of the bag... 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
402 On second thought, let's not have kids. 1.3390 0.05412 118 85 26 7
403 Now Percy, just relax. The vet said the laxative works in about 30 minutes. 1.3390 0.05277 118 84 28 6
404 May I introduce Whiskers of House Calico, the untrained, scratcher of posts, cousin of Mittens, and the cougher of hairballs. 1.3390 0.05923 118 89 18 11
405 No, no dogs. It's just reigning cats. 1.3366 0.06178 101 75 18 8
406 Sitting on the throne is not the same as using the litter box. 1.3363 0.05844 113 84 20 9
407 That new Fancy Feast really went to his head. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
408 Someone's feast is getting a little too fancy around here. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
409 I see that "royal pain in the ass" was not metaphor. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
410 Le chat, c'est moi. 1.3362 0.05991 116 88 17 11
411 So about this whole 'King of Beasts' thing....you're just a house cat. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
412 We gotta stop buying fancy feast 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
413 No, YOU tell him he's not wearing any clothes. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
414 Nice try, we're still not getting you Fancy Feast. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
415 Now is the season of our distemper. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
416 You'll always be 'Puss"to us, even without your boots. 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
417 We're having a baby. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
418 You'll be fine—guys like you always land on their feet. 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
419 Even my therapist thinks it's best I don't have children . 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
420 Don't you think you're carrying your pedigree too far? 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
421 Perhaps we shouldn't have named him Donald. 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
422 First step, admit that catnip makes you powerless. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
423 I think it is time to start making a succession plan. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
424 Look, you can't have both--it's either unlimited power or more salmon. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
425 But, you still poop in a box. 1.3304 0.06134 112 86 15 11
426 Daddy just doesn't want to be court jester any more. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
427 It was a rescue site. I thought it said disposed, not deposed. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
428 Heavy is the cat who wears a crown. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
429 I told you that naming the cat Donald was not a good idea 1.3304 0.06264 112 87 13 12
430 Actually, it's worse than this. He has the dog dressed up as the court jester. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
431 He wants to be called Donald 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
432 I think the Instagram success has gone to his head. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
433 The baby won't mean we'll love you any less. 1.3301 0.05917 103 76 20 7
434 We've kept it from you for years...you're a rescue. 1.3301 0.05586 103 74 24 5
435 He learned to cat-spread from your man-spread. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
436 I told you that youtube money would go straight to his head. 1.3273 0.06073 110 84 16 10
437 Time to give Puss the boot. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
438 Looks like he's grabbed his last pussy. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
439 'We had no idea the salmon was farm-raised." 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
440 He's on his ninth life, and he still hasn't won the caption contest. 1.3273 0.06073 110 84 16 10
441 We're willing to work with you but exiling Spot is a bit extreme. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
442 Okay, I admit it, we should have frozen your eggs. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
443 Maybe we should have had kids instead. 1.3269 0.05868 104 77 20 7
444 I know he can seem a little arrogant... 1.3269 0.05707 104 76 22 6
445 He was a lot more fun when he was a kitten. 1.3267 0.05648 101 73 23 5
446 Maybe we should check that pet training book again 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
447 He doesn't look happy. We need to do more. 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
448 Boy, killing that mouse really went to his head. 1.3267 0.05988 101 75 19 7
449 He really does have better health care coverage than we do. 1.3267 0.05988 101 75 19 7
450 There's nobody left to fire. 1.3243 0.06160 111 86 14 11
451 He says if a pussy grabber can be president, why can a real pussy be king? 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
452 He realized he had no clothes. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
453 I'm sure the other cats will like you. Maybe you could just take off the crown? 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
454 I thought a rescue cat would act a little less entitled. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
455 I refuse to address him as "Chairman Meow". 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
456 We need to change the litter under your throne. 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
457 You are the absolutely best cat ever. No cat in the universe catches more mice than you. Your videos go viral faster than any in the whole history of catdom! 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
458 We found a bag of catnip in your room. 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
459 They were removed when you were just a kitten. We had no idea you were royalty 1.3241 0.06146 108 83 15 10
460 she has read Mom's will 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
461 Looks like he's been bingeing on "Game of Thrones" again. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
462 Are we doing enough? 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
463 If the texting doesn't stop, we're taking away the mouse. 1.3241 0.06422 108 85 11 12
464 The adulation from youtube has changed him. 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
465 No one ever said doing nothing all day would be easy. 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
466 I think he's finally gotten too big for his britches. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
467 Fluffy, it’s nothing to be ashamed of… it was the biggest mouse we’ve ever seen too. 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
468 Balls," said the queen. "If I had them, I'd be King. 1.3241 0.06146 108 83 15 10
469 Maybe we should have had a kid so it would go away to college. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
470 Honey, wearing the crown isn't enough, you have to act like a king. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
471 First of all, I do not have owners. I have staff. 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
472 He's way less demanding than my last cat. 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
473 It's all about MEow! 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
474 Well, aren't you the cats meow! 1.3235 0.05772 102 75 21 6
475 He seems different since the dog died. 1.3235 0.06256 102 78 15 9
476 Time for a regime change. 1.3235 0.06099 102 77 17 8
477 We're awfully sorry to bother you, King Whiskers, but another mouse sighting has been reported in the dungeon. 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
478 Not so sure we should have told the taxidermist "do what you think is best". 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
479 We want you to know that we've stopped your Twitter account for your own good. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
480 We promise -- nothing will change when the baby comes. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
481 It started with him saying, 'Après meow, le déluge'. 1.3208 0.06222 106 82 14 10
482 We need to talk to you about your catnip use. 1.3208 0.05286 106 76 26 4
483 I’m worried; since January he just sits around in his robe watching cable news. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
484 You placed the dog in exile? 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
485 It's not your fault, it's ours. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
486 The taxidermist really captured his ego. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
487 Our kingdom has a litter problem. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
488 We should have never changed his kibble. 1.3205 0.06187 78 56 19 3
489 My sire, word has arrived that the dog is gathered his troops. 1.3204 0.06203 103 79 15 9
490 For the ninth time, . . . 1.3204 0.06048 103 78 17 8
491 But I loved that canary. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
492 Even though we're getting divorced, mommy and daddy don't love you any less. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
493 He's not worried about succession, he's got nine lives. 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
494 Six wives and nine lives isn't so bad, Henry. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
495 We declawed him but we can't seem to dethrone him. 1.3178 0.05245 107 77 26 4
496 I have to draw the line at tasting the royal cat food. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
497 Your lineage ends here, you know that don't you? 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
498 Well you did ask me to have him stuffed "as he'd like to be remembered..." 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
499 He insists on eating only free range mice 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
500 Four and twenty blackbirds and you wonder why the stomach cramps? 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
501 I'm telling you, Jim... he's saying "MeNow." 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
502 Dinner is trapped, your highness. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
503 What saddens thee? Why, even the mice who bear your cruelties' brunt adore you... 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
504 With only one more life to go after this one, Henry is coping as best as he can. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
505 'King of the Felines' has a nice ring to it, but we're sticking with 'Whiskers'. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
506 We should never have let him see The Lion King. 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
507 We found some royal subjects on our bedroom carpet. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
508 I fear at this point a spray bottle might be considered an act of treason. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
509 He forgot the first rule of being King: don't eat all your subjects. 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
510 He's surprisingly down-to-earth for a cat. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
511 I told you we shouldn't name him King. 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
512 He says he uses our closet because the litter box is such a dump. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
513 Our first mistake was naming him Donald. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
514 I think she said, 'Peel me a mouse.' 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
515 Ancestry.com said his great grandfather was King of The Jungle. 1.3100 0.06466 100 79 11 10
516 And thanks to Bob Barker, there's no line of succession. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
517 We're going to be terrible parents. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
518 Heavy lies the cat who wears the crown. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
519 I don't know how to break this to you. We're pregnant. 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
520 This is why I wanted a dog. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
521 He had the dog beheaded. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
522 Pampering him?... I don't think we're pampering him. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
523 I told you we shouldn't have named him "Trump." 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
524 We just don't feel 'off with his head' is a proportionate response to Buddy eating out of your dish. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
525 I told you not to let him binge-watch. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
526 Please let us have a baby! 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
527 Game of Thrones withdrawal 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
528 We are having this intervention, because you are really not the King of this household 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
529 I'm not sure, but I think he said "A mouse...my kingdom for a mouse!" 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
530 That's fake mews. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
531 Cheer up! Don't let the fact that no one came to your "Hair Ball" ruin a perfectly wonderful coronation. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
532 He's just learned the coronation was fake mews. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
533 So I see he caught the laser dot. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
534 Felix we know it hurts to lose your jewels but as far as we are concerned your crown is still intact. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
535 We're staging a coup. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
536 Yes, you're right. Some pets are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
537 I refuse to call it a Royal Flush. Just dump the litter box. 1.3100 0.06466 100 79 11 10
538 Maybe we shouldn't have named her "Queenie." 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
539 So how is this different than normal? 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
540 When we said that your line of succession had been fixed, you may have misunderstood. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
541 I think we've just found the parakeet 1.3100 0.05064 100 71 27 2
542 Is it possible we've overindulged him? 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
543 'Fat Cat' is actually a compliment, my liege. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
544 Since your Lion King theme flopped, let's try Puss in Boots 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
545 He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl, but I couldn't find his fiddlers three anywhere. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
546 Maybe we have spoiled him. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
547 I knew we shouldn't have switched him to Fancy Feast. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
548 Heavy is the cat that wears the crown... 1.3100 0.06308 100 78 13 9
549 OK, just give him the scepter, but NOT the remote! 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
550 Tell me again why we didn't get a dog? 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
551 Look Henry, Fred is moving in tomorrow but I told him he only gets to be prince. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
552 Wait 'til he finds out that he'll never have an heir. 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
553 It was one way to keep him off the sofa... 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
554 Uneasy lies the cat that wears a crown 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
555 He's depressed about the line of succession. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
556 It's ennui. Melancholy and Weltschmerz are beneath him. 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
557 "This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted you to worship my pussy." (sorry for the crude language, but ya gotta admit - solid caption.) 1.3061 0.06553 98 78 10 10
558 His first eight lives he was a peasant. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
559 Before you decide to give this all up, ask yourself what you would do with a horse if you had one. 1.3061 0.06390 98 77 12 9
560 Yes, Felix, all lions are felines, but not all felines are lions. Sorry! 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
561 He prefers Lord Fluffykins now. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
562 The Aristocats is just a movie. 1.3061 0.05109 98 70 26 2
563 The townsfolk have been overthrown but what about our mouse problem? 1.3061 0.06390 98 77 12 9
564 So, you went to London to visit the Queen. Then what? 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
565 Herding cats is exhausting. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
566 That's the last time we get Fancy Feast. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
567 Joe wants you to know he's sorry about dinner tonight and wonders if you will be keeping him on staff. 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
568 It's important to recognize that there are three co-equal branches of governing this household. 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
569 Maybe we should have voted for the dog 1.3030 0.05266 99 72 24 3
570 So, having 9 lives has turned out to be exhausting and a bit humbling? 1.3030 0.06168 99 77 14 8
571 We aren't saying we would have a baby—just that, if we did, we wouldn't love it. 1.3030 0.06168 99 77 14 8
572 At least he's not Trump. 1.3030 0.06333 99 78 12 9
573 We'll start with an amuse bouche of pureed oysters, followed by scallop tartare, and then a mouse and vole terrine, and finishing with a catnip sorbet. 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
574 Would you care for tuna tartare or mousse de canard? 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
575 What did she mean, 'thank god they didn't have kids?' 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
576 The emperor needs new claws. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
577 Cat King Cole 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
578 You tell him we're getting a puppy. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
579 'Fit for a king' is a marketing gimmick - you just ate too much. 1.3021 0.06304 96 75 13 8
580 Get this through your furry head. We will NOT call you 'Your Highness'! 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
581 I know the Cowardly Lion....The Cowardly Lion is a friend of mine....You are no Cowardly Lion.....enough, get back in the kitchen. 1.3021 0.06642 96 77 9 10
582 We never did want to tell you that you really are just a cat. 1.3021 0.06304 96 75 13 8
583 Would you consider Ms Fluffy down the street for queen 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
584 You really shouldn't have called them "a litterbox of deplorables". 1.3021 0.06475 96 76 11 9
585 I'd have you both killed in an instant if I cared enough to utter your names. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
586 We didn't think an heir would be so important when we had you neutered. 1.3021 0.06475 96 76 11 9
587 We need to switch to dry food, honey. The Fancy Feast is going to his head. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
588 The vet suggested he’s willing to pardon us. 1.3021 0.06806 96 78 7 11
589 We just can't afford Fancy Feast anymore. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
590 I told you not to name him Henry! 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
591 It started with the Fancy Feast. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
592 Jim, this cat is a royal pain in the butt! 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
593 Our president freaked her out. 1.3000 0.07990 60 47 8 5
594 Turns out it's just reigning cats, no dogs. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
595 He is very merciful....as long as you go get him the tuna casserole. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
596 Sweetheart, there was not one million mice watching. I'm sorry, it's just not true. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
597 This Caturday business is getting out of control 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
598 That's not the way you make "Kitty litter great again". 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
599 The feast was too fancy. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
600 I guess we shouldn't have used Craig's List to find a taxidermist. 1.2979 0.06563 94 75 10 9
601 Heavy is the head that wears the crown. So, too, is the belly that holds the mouse. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
602 I hope our pampering makes up for the neutering. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
603 He liked your idea of appointing a “Presidential Pussy” but apparently he has someone else in mind. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
604 So we are all in agreement. Pussy rules. 1.2979 0.06563 94 75 10 9
605 The results are back. This is not the jungle and you are not the king. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
606 But if we got a dog, you would still be king. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
607 HENRY THE NEUTERED CONTEMPLATES LIFE WITHOUT HIS ORBS AND SCEPTER 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
608 He wants a personal groomer, a sleep chamber, and a purring coach. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
609 He thinks he's the cat's meow. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
610 Do you think it's time we had kids? 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
611 He has a sixth sense of entitlement. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
612 The Fancy Feast has really gone to his head. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
613 We should never have let him go on Ancestry.com! 1.2979 0.05202 94 68 24 2
614 Maybe we should cut back on the Fancy Feast. 1.2979 0.06387 94 74 12 8
615 He just realized he rules in a constitutional monarchy, and his powers are purely ceremonial. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
616 Cats rule. Dogs drool. We get that. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
617 I just thought it would partially make up for the vet taking away his, um, crown jewels. 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
618 We need to talk about your cattitude. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
619 You can keep the throne; crown and robe go back to Mar-a-Lago - and tell him you're sorry. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
620 We should have seen this coming when he promised the other cats he'd build a wall to keep the dogs out. 1.2935 0.06473 92 73 11 8
621 Maybe just a tad overdressed for the vet. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
622 Maybe it was the four and twenty blackbirds. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
623 We meant cat hair...not cat heir. 1.2935 0.05250 92 67 23 2
624 I prefer his Macbeth. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
625 You were adopted. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
626 Hey, Queen of Spayeds, your dinner's ready. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
627 Maybe naming him "The Donald" wasn't such a good idea after all. 1.2935 0.06655 92 74 9 9
628 Why didn't we quash this back when he was just an obnoxious kitten? 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
629 What? Chicken? Tuna? Fish pate'? What? 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
630 At least when he's sleeping he's not tweeting. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
631 The whole "King of the Forest" thing kind of ended with canned food. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
632 We are all disappointed that William and Kate chose a hampster. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
633 We think its time to stop feeding you from the table. 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
634 Life under Purrsian rule 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
635 You tell him that it's only a titular office. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
636 This is number 9. He's finally dead. I'm in charge again, no more cats. 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
637 The King of Beasts still needs a litter box. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
638 But sire, the dog said he doesn't WANT to be neutered. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
639 Heavy is the Tabby that wears the crown. 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
640 Maybe it's time we told him he's a rescue, not a regent 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
641 I know what Ancestry.com said but you still have to use the litter box. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
642 Of course the barking next door is annoying, we agree - but is military action really an option? 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
643 So, what are you king of exactly? 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
644 Maybe enough with the "Fancy Feast?" 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
645 It's OK. Not every emperor has clothes. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
646 It's your fault. You created his Instagram page. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
647 Le roi, c'est miaou. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
648 Order something from Amazon and give me the box. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
649 If only he'd stop giving the mice pardons. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
650 The kids would really like their sandbox back. 1.2935 0.05250 92 67 23 2
651 Frankly we said neutered not knighted 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
652 Where did you think I would get the fur trim? 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
653 You're not a Windsor. You're not a Tudor. You're just a cat. Get over it! 1.2927 0.06829 82 65 10 7
654 We've asked you here tonight because we love you, and we want to tell you from us: we're adopting a dog. 1.2927 0.06829 82 65 10 7
655 Mr. Whiskers? We're just wondering if you've seen Miss Feathers? 1.2927 0.06829 82 65 10 7
656 We will remain your faithful subjects, King Kitty, but in different houses, so now you will have two kingdoms! 1.2927 0.07046 82 66 8 8
657 Remember how we agreed not to leave him with your mother? 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
658 Dad and I have decided it's time you started paying rent. 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
659 Sorry, we won't cut the dog's head off. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
660 I told you it was a mistake to name him Donald. 1.2921 0.06432 89 70 12 7
661 Well, his YouTube channel does make more than us. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
662 So, this is the cat's pajamas? 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
663 He had his second wife declawed. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
664 "Nothing excites him anymore". 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
665 It's time to tell you why there will be no heirs. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
666 Not abdication, just stop spraying the drapes. 1.2889 0.06562 90 72 10 8
667 He now taxes the mice instead of eating them. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
668 What do you mean, 'let them eat tuna!'.?? 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
669 When it comes to your majesty's personal hygiene, the royal we does not include us. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
670 So, you do understand that Fido won the popular vote? 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
671 We're both really sorry. The vet assured us that it would improve your personality. 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
672 He's been binge-watching Downton Tabby. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
673 It's that only child thing 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
674 He said he's too pooped to conquer. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
675 Seems he didn't fancy the lobster... back to Beluga. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
676 You're 18 now, you need to move out. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
677 Catnip always gives him delusions of grandeur. 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
678 It wouldn't be for about nine months, but we wanted to ask you first. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
679 It was only a month ago, he was completely feral. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
680 A mouse, a mouse, my kingdom for a mouse! 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
681 Would it help if we peeled you a mouse? 1.2889 0.06562 90 72 10 8
682 He pronounced himself ruler of mice and men. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
683 When you said you'd adopted a Cavalier King Charles, this wasn't what I'd imagined. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
684 But if you banish us, who will feed you? 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
685 Agreed, naming the cat Trump might not have been the best idea. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
686 I told you switching to Fancy Feast would go to his head. 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
687 I think eating all this "Fancy Feast" has gone to his head... 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
688 'Puss and Boots 2' just went straight to video 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
689 Another hard day rounding up undocumented dogs. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
690 Snuggles, I don't care that your DNA test shows you are a Royal Siamese. We're sending it all back and I'm cancelling your Mastercard. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
691 Let them eat mice. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
692 He’s getting sleepy. Hurry up and ask your favor. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
693 He catches one little mouse and thinks he's king 1.2874 0.06521 87 69 11 7
694 Maybe we shouldn't have let him watch The Lion King. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
695 ...and when you're a star, they let you do anything. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
696 He grabbed the wrong pussy. 1.2874 0.06521 87 69 11 7
697 Don't blame me, I didn't vote for the cat. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
698 No, the crown does not make you look fat. 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
699 As far as we're concerned, your video did go viral. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
700 I've come to see you as more of an outdoor couple. 1.2874 0.06521 87 69 11 7
701 We have only ourselves to blame. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
702 It's your turn to dip the dead mice in chocolate. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
703 Maybe we need a hobby? 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
704 I told you not to name him Hamlet. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
705 Your father and I need to tell you something. . . you're adopted 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
706 The neighbor's dog showed him he doesn't really rule the animal kingdom. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
707 Remember, if Trump can be elected - you can be anything you want to be. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
708 Lord, the vet says you have fleas. 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
709 This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted you to treat my pussy as royalty. 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
710 But wise one, if we slice the dog in half, will he not die? 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
711 Your turn in the jester outfit. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
712 We are Cat people. We're just not King Cat people. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
713 We're sorry. It never occurred to us that having a legitimate heir to the throne would mean so much to you. 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
714 We have some bad news, Tabby - it's actually just the lion that's the king of the jungle. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
715 Do you think, maybe, we might have become those sort of people? 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
716 I fear he's developed a bad case of Trump Complex. 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
717 We never should've told him that he's related to lions. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
718 He's been binge watching Game of Thrones on the Cat Channel... 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
719 I told you naming him Donald would set the wrong expectations. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
720 We don't like who you become after you've had Fancy Feast. 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
721 We've decided to get a dog, and we're going to name him Rex. You might want to reconsider your attitude. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
722 I don't know how the Joneses do it with three! 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
723 We would like to take a couple of days vacation. What do you think? 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
724 I'm beginning to doubt that this is what the Pet Therapist had in mind. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
725 Do you want your kill au poivre or with bernaise sauce? 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
726 One way or another, we will bring you the head of The Red Dot. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
727 He's just discovered Game of Thrones. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
728 I think the cat sitter spoils him. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
729 One too many canaries. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
730 Ok fine, no more binge watching Game of Thrones. 1.2824 0.06821 85 69 8 8
731 It's OK that you have no clothes. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
732 Don't tell us there wasn't a palace party - there was catnip everywhere and a palm tree in the cat box. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
733 But you tried to catch the mouse, and that's what counts. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
734 The veterinarian said it's the Trump effect. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
735 I'm sorry, but it's a constitutional monarchy. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
736 Since she got hooked on PBS, she identifies as Victoria, not Pussin-Boots. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
737 The bad news is you're being neutered. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
738 We have reason to believe Rufus' death may not have been an accident. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
739 Sure, he can govern. But how is he at catching mice? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
740 Do you think we let him watch The Lion King too often? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
741 I agree that the crowd at the Coronation was the largest ever! Just huge and you never looked better! 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
742 Should we tell him he's no longer sitting pretty? 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
743 It's not working. He's still ignoring us. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
744 You get nine lives, darling, not wives 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
745 I don't know what else you want from us 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
746 Do you think we might have spoiled him? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
747 It all started when he figured out how to tweet lies about the dog ... 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
748 I'm sorry sweetie, but I don't think "Let them eat Friskies" is an appropriate response. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
749 I'm getting concerned. He wants to abdicate. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
750 OK, so maybe it's not the best of your nine, but surely we're in the top three 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
751 After he tweets he watches television all day. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
752 I'm leaving you for a man with a dog. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
753 Let's just be glad he's not into Breaking Bad. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
754 In terms of lives, you're now Henry the 9th. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
755 That Trump Brand (c) cat food really works! 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
756 Donald, We are sorry but Fox & friends is not on today 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
757 We need to talk.. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
758 There is unrest throughout the alley because you have sired too many heirs. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
759 I told you not to name her Princess! 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
760 We think you should stop binge-watching Game of Thrones. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
761 We'll keep Rex outside but we're not putting him in chains. 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
762 Thank goodness we never had children. 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
763 So Rex, your analyst and I have been chatting... 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
764 That's the third vet he's fired this week. 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
765 We honestly had no idea eight lives would fly by that fast. 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
766 We may be the hoi polloi, but you do remember that you need us for food & water & stuff, right? 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
767 But we promise to be home by dinner. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
768 It's your turn to give him his foot massage. 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
769 So. You got your tongue? 1.2805 0.06782 82 66 9 7
770 But we agreed you'd return it after Halloween. 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
771 Where did you get the catnip ? 1.2805 0.06782 82 66 9 7
772 We can't behead the dog. 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
773 It's time you knew, Wigglesworth. You were adopted. 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
774 Don't worry. We can get more mice. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
775 He's been like this ever since the dog died. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
776 What kind of boots? 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
777 You have to stop binge watching ' Game of Thrones'. 1.2791 0.06750 86 70 8 8
778 We should never have let him watch Puss & Boots 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
779 Just a year ago he was feral & eating out of garbage cans! 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
780 We would like to discuss tonight's menu. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
781 You'd really abdicate all this for an alley cat? 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
782 He's descended from Louis the Furteenth. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
783 I can never tell when he wants attention. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
784 It's your turn to rub his belly. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
785 Now can we pet you? 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
786 tragically, all too soon, Gingerbread is feeling the futility of power 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
787 His kingdom for a mouse. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
788 YOU had to go and tell him this was a democracy! 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
789 You say it worked for the frog? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
790 Ok. So will you now please tell us where you put the remote? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
791 See why I hate cats. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
792 I need my boots! 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
793 Yes, Majesty, the cat next door will pay for the wall. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
794 ...pate en croute...coq au vin...ratatouille...blanquette de veau...bouillabaisse...or? 1.2771 0.04943 83 60 23 0
795 Now that Timmy's in college, you'll be taking his place in the family. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
796 Do you think he's seriously considering abdicating? 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
797 What ticks me off is how he just expects lifestyle improvements. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
798 We're thinking about getting a dog 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
799 Look, we bought you the crown but we didn't think you'd turn into an asshole. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
800 We would have made great parents. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
801 We shouldn't have named him Trump 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
802 We think you should imagine this conversation more as implied introspection, and not as an intrusive intervention. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
803 We're hoping you might consider cutting down just a bit on your catnip consumption. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
804 You should see his litter box. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
805 Seeing how he does rule the house, I thought, I'd make it official. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
806 Isn't this healthier than watching the current administration flatter the president? 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
807 Eight down, one to go. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
808 I could call the shelter, but I don't think they'll take him back. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
809 Just because we want children doesn’t mean we don’t love you. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
810 You can't become Queen dear. You've been fixed. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
811 Please accept the fact that being fixed means you have no heir to the throne. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
812 He fired his communications director... 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
813 We tried to tell you being king would be complicated. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
814 He just got his results back from Ancestry.com, and it turns out he's Egyptian royalty. 1.2738 0.06849 84 69 7 8
815 Relax. The dogs of war have been boarded. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
816 You have no heirs, Your Majesty, because... 1.2738 0.06636 84 68 9 7
817 No -- he's not "just a cat." 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
818 I liked him when he was just plain Henry. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
819 He's gone through our entire supply of mouse jesters. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
820 I'm afraid letting her watch Game of Thrones with us for the last 6 years has gone to her head. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
821 We played along, but having the dog beheaded went too far. 1.2738 0.06636 84 68 9 7
822 I know you're bored, but we just can't afford a court jester. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
823 You'll have to abdicate if I let you out. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
824 We are not amused 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
825 There will be no heirs, you were neutered. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
826 What if we do something to make him feel special? 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
827 Fluffy, I'd like to introduce you to my new boyfriend Jake. I hope you two will get along. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
828 I told you that calling her "Princess" would go too far. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
829 He changed after we did his ancestry testing. 1.2716 0.05559 81 61 18 2
830 With all due respect, we'd like to discuss some type of power sharing arrangement. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
831 He says he's into Game Of Thrones but I caught him watching Fox News 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
832 Mom keeps saying we spoil him too much. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
833 I said, 'Well, you're not actually king of the beasts.' He's taking it poorly. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
834 I didn't know you were a cat person. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
835 Honey, don't be sad, Fat cat is just a term used for the rich and important. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
836 So then I thought, why not just make it official? 1.2716 0.07030 81 67 6 8
837 So no, neutral is a totally different thing. 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
838 Would you be too upset if we went away for the weekend? 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
839 At least he's not tweeting about us. 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
840 It was probably that thing about promising you'd catch more mice than the world had ever seen...thousands...millions... 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
841 Peel me a mouse. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
842 We should have had children. 1.2716 0.06807 81 66 8 7
843 Puissant, isn't he? 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
844 The dog wants his stuff back. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
845 You're right. We'd suck at raising kids. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
846 Can't you just try canned tuna? 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
847 We want to talk about your sense of white cat privilege 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
848 We know this will come as a disappointment, but 'Princess' is just a name. 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
849 So, can we assume you prefer being an indoor cat? 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
850 You're just not merry enough to play Old King Cole. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
851 He wears indolence well don't you think? 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
852 What if we held a fur ball? 1.2716 0.06807 81 66 8 7
853 Do you think we're in his will? 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
854 Apparently he is not familiar with the concept of noblesse oblige. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
855 The dog is gone, my lord. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
856 What do you mean you're not getting more humans when we're gone? 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
857 Chicken or Fish? Take your time. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
858 Elect a clown. Expect a circus! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
859 It's reigning cats, not dogs. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
860 I know it’s unsettling, but it’s true. We’re Democrats. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
861 We really think you'd be more fulfilled if you went outside and mingled with the commoners. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
862 Little does he know, he's the last of his line. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
863 I still don't understand why they call me a crazy cat lady. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
864 Caesar, we wanted to let you know we have adopted two new kittens, Brutus and Cassius. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
865 It's not as bad as you think - he is actually a very benevolent ruler. 1.2683 0.05220 82 61 20 1
866 You're a cat, dear, not a corgi. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
867 Were we wrong to name him Donald? 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
868 Its time we tell the cat it was born in an alley 1.2683 0.06952 82 68 6 8
869 The taxidermist called it the "royale package." 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
870 We're The Butlers. Not yours. 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
871 Where did President Trump grab you? 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
872 You need to stop with the videos and go out and play. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
873 The Lion King was just a cartoon. It's not real life… 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
874 I worry that we're spoiling her. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
875 I don't spoil him that much. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
876 Yes, we like you to think outside the box; just not the litter box. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
877 I'm sorry, but we're pregnant. You're going have to learn to share power. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
878 Losing the popular vote doesn't mean you're not popular. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
879 Too much catnip, your Highness? 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
880 Your dominion is the litter box. 1.2658 0.06909 79 65 7 7
881 It was your idea to name him Donald. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
882 Is that what you call giving my pussy the royal treatment? 1.2658 0.06909 79 65 7 7
883 Looks like you've grabbed your last pussy. 1.2658 0.06670 79 64 9 6
884 Actually, this just accentuates his everyday lack of clothing. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
885 It all started when you gave him Fancy Feast. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
886 Okay, belly rub, Jim will quarter the mice, then butt grooming, ignore us while you take nap number eight so that you'll be prepared to tear up the carpet at your usual 3:18AM; got it. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
887 Maybe you've gone astray. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
888 I don’t know- since he executed all of his enemies, drank their blood and then ate their children, he’s just lost his kitten playfulness. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
889 Cheer up, Liberace, your glitter litter is here! 1.2658 0.05002 79 58 21 0
890 Honey, we really should make sure we don't confuse catnip for weed. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
891 I liked his inferiority complex better. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
892 We're not going to sugarcoat it. We are not flying the Union Jack whenever you're in the house. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
893 We did tell the taxidermist to make him look regal. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
894 Since we let our cat rule us, does this mean we're liberals? 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
895 Maybe we shouldn't have named him Trumpie. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
896 That "grab 'em by the pussy" brag keeps coming back up like a hairball. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
897 The Vet thinks that neutering might help. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
898 Lion King is JUST a movie, Felix! 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
899 He's been like this ever since his video hit five million views 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
900 Well...how about line-caught salmon? 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
901 I Don't care who he thinks he is he still has to use the kitty litter box 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
902 I told you that Fancy Feast food would go to his head. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
903 This one isn't as subtle as the last one. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
904 If only my pussy was treated this well 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
905 I think we're spoiling him. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
906 I know "heavy is the head that wears the crown"-your job is still to catch mice. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
907 He has a very solid base among the alt-rat. 1.2658 0.06909 79 65 7 7
908 I told you we should have gotten a dog. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
909 "Let them eat kibble." - Meowie Antoinette 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
910 Governing is a lot harder than he thought it's be. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
911 Our mistake was treating her like a queen. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
912 We should have thought about the line of succession before we had him neutered. 1.2658 0.06670 79 64 9 6
913 We need to stop showing him documentaries on Ancient Egpyt. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
914 Cheer up. At least you won for "Miss Congeniality"l 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
915 He didn't realize ruling the animal kingdom would be so hard. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
916 Your kingdom needs you to solve the mouse situation. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
917 The vet says it's PCD...post coronation depression. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
918 ...so instead the vet put us on some new meds to make us more sympathetic to his point of view. 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
919 Good thing, he lost the popular vote. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
920 Could we have one child? 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
921 Even though you're the King now, you can't just grab 'em by the pussy. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
922 So we have your permission to marry? 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
923 Fluffy, you have to stop making the dog eat cake. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
924 It's reigning cats. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
925 He has been watching Game of Thrones. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
926 Your highness, having 9 lives is more than most of us. 1.2642 0.07204 53 41 10 2
927 Canned it is. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
928 You think we've been a tad too indulgent? 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
929 I think he's developing an attitude. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
930 One of you needs to see a therapist. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
931 Shouldn't the king be wearing his pants? 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
932 And you thought a cat would be low maintenance. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
933 Hail, Kitty Kitty ... 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
934 So, just how are we supposed to come in on Little Cat Feet? 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
935 We have noticed you've been hitting the catnip more as of late. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
936 The dog was one thing. But Dad's always been so nice to you. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
937 so, where did you lose your boots? 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
938 Not to worry. You have 8 more lives to establish your legacy 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
939 Worst case scenario: He reigns the whole four years. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
940 Now he communicates only by tweets. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
941 Maybe we should just give him some of my Xanax instead. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
942 I know... but he's a stray. And, I think he likes football. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
943 We should have never taken him to see the Lion King 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
944 And you're absolutely sure you don't know anything about Mrs. Keldorf's canary? 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
945 He wants to watch the Lion King, again. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
946 They say, 'Uneasy lays the head that wears a crown.' My ass. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
947 I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sick of bringing him dead mice. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
948 "Do you think it's time to have a kid? 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
949 We should have just had a child 1.2597 0.06768 77 63 8 6
950 He was more of an 'anything but a dog' choice. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
951 Honey, I thought we agreed on cremation. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
952 So now that you are truly king will you stop throwing up on the carpet? 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
953 What meddlesome mouse? 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
954 I agree, it's a bit much, but he did get rid of the mice. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
955 Sorry Bill, you must leave. The cat won. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
956 His attitude is really starting to show. 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
957 The jester will be back from the vet's tomorrow. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
958 Yes, you were adopted, we should have told you sooner. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
959 You didn't hear it from me, but the dog and fish are planning a coup. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
960 Seriously, Dad... if you do post the video, PLEASE don't mention my name. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
961 What if Don got neutered too? 1.2597 0.06768 77 63 8 6
962 This is so typical of your generation. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
963 This is number nine, and it was on her bucket list. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
964 Should we tell him we're getting a dog or let it be a surprise? 1.2597 0.06768 77 63 8 6
965 You're the one that got his DNA tested. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
966 Dethroning really isn't humane. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
967 Well, Donald, getting the job and doing the job require different talents. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
968 I think it was a mistake naming him, 'The Donald'. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
969 The emperor has no claws. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
970 I draw the line at beheading the dog. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
971 Just because you have little paws doesn't make you a king. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
972 He’s just a puppy, sure. But he’ll be dead long before your reign comes to an end. Ya know, because of the nine lives and everything? 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
973 He gets like this every time I date. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
974 All you have to do is wave. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
975 Newsweek called. They want to put you on the cover. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
976 You must understand it's our house ... your Highness? 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
977 Heavy the butt that wears the crown. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
978 Do you think maybe we should take a break from Game of Thrones? 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
979 I really thought it was what he wanted. Maybe we should get him a Superman cape. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
980 I do believe the King has no clothes 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
981 I told you not to feed him. I told you not to make eye contact. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
982 Uneasy lies the cat that wears a crown 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
983 I think killing his own mice will be good for him. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
984 I told you that assertiveness class at the Humane Society was a bad idea. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
985 Your Majesty, we just got a dog, his name is George Washington. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
986 He's been like this ever since we switched the cat food to Fancy Feast 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
987 How many lives before succession goes to us? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
988 What complex? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
989 Who are these three blind mice you speak of. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
990 Yes, you're King, but you weren't actually voted in. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
991 Nobody said being top cat was going to be easy. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
992 And for just ten bucks more, the taxidermist threw in the crown. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
993 I'm afraid she'll turn out like a Lannister 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
994 But you're the king of the urban jungle. 1.2568 0.05113 74 55 19 0
995 About your attitude... 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
996 My psycharist says I'll stop seeing him after the medications start working. 1.2568 0.06954 74 61 7 6
997 Son, let me explain 9 lives to you 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
998 You have to wait until she extends her paw to take it. 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
999 He’s been acting like this ever since he crawled off the president’s head. 1.2568 0.06954 74 61 7 6
1000 Listen, you can't rule our lives, but you can sleep in the bed tonight. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1001 And just where did you exile the dog? 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1002 Roger and I would like to talk to you about the sudden spate of beheadings. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1003 But you're more than a figurehead to us, Pooky. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1004 I guess I'm just more of an egalitarian. You know, a dog person. 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
1005 Maybe if you didn't bat them around with your paws they'd respect you more. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1006 We've decided to get a dog. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1007 Do you think we pamper him enough? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1008 Catatonic? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1009 Well, I did tell the taxidermist he ruled the house. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1010 He looks exhausted, but he still has to preside over the upcoming Fur Ball. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1011 King of the living room is just as impressive as King of the Jungle. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1012 It hasn't changed him. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1013 I think we made some mistakes. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1014 She thinks she was Cleopatra in her last life. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1015 So now you want four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1016 We can't bring that mouse back to life, but we can buy you a new one. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1017 Are you sure it's just a phase? 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1018 I gotta say, I have a pet peeve. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1019 He left explicit instructions on how he'd like to be stuffed 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1020 But he's an out of control loser and you're hugely amazing! 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1021 A thousand pardons your majesty, but its time for your flea and tick treatment. 1.2568 0.06954 74 61 7 6
1022 I don't care if he is one of your loyal subjects, you can't eat the goldfish. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1023 No, that's not how it works. The mice should not come to you. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1024 We're cat people, not the cat's people. 1.2568 0.06954 74 61 7 6
1025 Do you really prefer regal to aloof? 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1026 Why does my cat allergy mean I'm the one who must be rehomed? 1.2568 0.07215 74 62 5 7
1027 Curiosity killed the last king 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1028 Look, we get it -- your press secretary quit, you had to fire your communications director, you lost a big vote in Congress, and everyone think the dogs were behind your election -- but that's no reason to go from two scoops of kibble to three. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1029 Just try being a cat. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1030 " There's no line of succession, he's getting fixed tomorrow". 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1031 Maybe we should take Her Highness to the Shelter to show her how the other cats live. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1032 We think you may have the wrong impression. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1033 Come on, it's just one mouse. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1034 Richard, I thought we had a deal. We bring you a horse, you give us back the house. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1035 Honestly that term "fat cat" was not a slur aimed at you personally. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1036 Maybe we shouldn't have named him "Rex." 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1037 Well, I suppose he's entitled enough to grab any pussy he wants. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1038 I'll call the vet. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1039 The vet says it's Stage 4 Ennuie. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1040 First the crown; now the man-spreading... 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1041 My final decree, all my catnip will be medicinal, not recreational. 1.2568 0.06954 74 61 7 6
1042 We know you've been following the news, but this household is still a democracy. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1043 I warned him it would be lonely at the top, but he's become inconsolable. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1044 I know it's not much but it's all we could afford. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1045 I wonder about his other eight lives. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1046 Maybe a cat scan would get to the bottom of your royal displeasure. 1.2568 0.06954 74 61 7 6
1047 Please, Princess. It's wild, sustainable fish, not farm raised. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1048 Your mother was a Tabby 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1049 My mistake, your meowjesty. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1050 If I had to guess, I'd say he ate the whole tub of Imperial margarine. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1051 The pet store told me it was excellent catnip! 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1052 William and Kate said positively not. Harry's still a maybe. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1053 You promised to make cats great again. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1054 We need to talk about the royal litter box, Your Majesty. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1055 maybe we should have had kids. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1056 Where is Mommy's smartphone? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1057 His kingdom for a mouse. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
1058 I knew he shouldn't have read, "The Art of the Deal" 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1059 You just now realized it is all ceremonial? 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1060 No one told me this herding Congressional cats would be so hard. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1061 The vet says that it's gout. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1062 I promise, we said 'Kitty Leader'. 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
1063 How did Donald Trump's cat get in here? 1.2568 0.07215 74 62 5 7
1064 And Mr. Snugglepaws wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1065 The vet is pushing military school. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1066 Maybe we've been a bit overindulgent. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1067 I know there's a 'me' in 'meow', but this is getting ridiculous. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1068 Bring me the little red dot! 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1069 You won't believe his litter box. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1070 What do you mean I am fat? My crown still fits. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1071 I don't know how to tell you this but we're getting a dog. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1072 I told you a cat would be a royal pain. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
1073 OK, forget about the crown. Tell us who sold you the cape? 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
1074 The taxidermist installed a 'purr' box. Go ahead, squeeze his paw. 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
1075 Do you think he would be happier if he knew how to Tweet? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
1076 Come on, even the King of England had trouble with public speaking. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
1077 I think we need to talk. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
1078 His therapist said it will help his esteem issues. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
1079 You do realize that the real king of the jungle is infested with lice, sleeps outside and has to do a lot of running and jumping in order to eat? 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
1080 How would you feel about our having a baby? 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
1081 We told you to be careful what you wish for, Donald! 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
1082 We should have never let her binge watch "The Crown." 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
1083 His phycologist suggested affirmation therapy after the toilet paper incident. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
1084 Wake up. Your litter awaits 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
1085 Your mother and I think it's about time you pulled more weight around here. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
1086 A house cat wasn't good enough, you had to get a House of Windsor cat. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1087 I feel like she's rubbing our nose in it now. 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
1088 It happened when I introduced the new kitten to him 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1089 We know it won't make up for the neutering, but it's the best we can do. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
1090 I know, sweetie. It's sad to realize you can't be whatever you want to be if you just try hard enough. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1091 He was hoping to become the first pet in the Trump White House. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1092 Nobody's accusing anyone yet, we're just talking about hairballs in general. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1093 "Think about it, Tigger -- is this really what you want to with your nine lives? 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
1094 We're just saying it's hard to establish a dynasty when you're neutered 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
1095 Don't worry. We hold the real power as long as we have the yarn ball and the laser pointer. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
1096 Sure, he can do a mean "King Lear," but he'll always be "Fifi" to me. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1097 You were right, neutering him years ago would have been a better. 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
1098 His scepter? No, have you looked under the sofa? 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1099 He made the litter box great again. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1100 I just think he'd feel more supported if we gave him an elected position instead. 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
1101 Do you think we're overcompensating? 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1102 Stupid DNA test. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1103 His father was a real estate developer. He's ever scratched or clawed for anything. 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
1104 Honey, if you're not having any fun, it's O.K. with Mommy if you want to go back to being a regular cat. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1105 The vet's seen this before, but only in small-pawed orange cats. Fortunately it doesn't last long. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1106 Ever since he got his genealogy test results he's been acting like this. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1107 I told him that four and twenty blackbird pie was too much! 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1108 Ever since we had him neutered, he's been depressed about his line of succession. 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
1109 Puss, the boots have walked on. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1110 I know she's failed to produce a male heir your majesty, but do we really need to put her down? 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
1111 Maybe we should just get a dog. 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
1112 Such a fascinating case of feline depression. Totally non responsive to the feather on a string? Nothing with the laser pointer either? And who could this Timon and Pumbaa be he keeps referring to? 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
1113 Daddy's going to have a puppy 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1114 Sire, it appears the kingdom is out of catnip. 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
1115 'It just doesn't FEEL like I'm ruling the world' 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1116 Yeah, but tomorrow she'll be the Queen of Spayeds... 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
1117 The mice seem to sense that you've lost your killer instinct. 1.2500 0.07063 72 60 6 6
1118 Are you thinking about your feral days? 1.2500 0.05690 68 52 15 1
1119 We "took care of" the dog. What else? 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1120 We have GOT to stop watching Game of Thrones 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1121 Uneasy is the cat who wears the crown 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
1122 We know you'll end up loving the new kitten.... 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1123 OK, no more binge watching Game of Thrones. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
1124 Maybe I shouldn't have breastfed him. 1.2500 0.07066 68 56 7 5
1125 I know, I know, but otherwise he throws litter at you. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1126 I don't think she's as into making cute cat videos as you are. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1127 I ask for your mercy and hereby promise to never again leave the seat down. 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
1128 How have we gone from a "cat in the cradle and a silver spoon" to this? 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
1129 His coming out was no real surprise. 1.2500 0.07063 72 60 6 6
1130 I think he's an indoor cat. 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
1131 Begging your pardon Your Highness but, would this be a good time to discuss the mouse under the kitchen sink? 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1132 What do you mean by, 'Just let them eat mice?' 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
1133 We can't exile the dog. The kids like him. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
1134 We've should've never got him that PetSmart giftcard. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
1135 It's a good thing we never had kids. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1136 We believe that the dog may be planning a coup. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1137 Well, as for succession, there's still the small matter of that surgery... 1.2466 0.06974 73 61 6 6
1138 We just want you to know how difficult financial planning is with your nine lives 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1139 Looking back now, reading "Hey Diddle Diddle" to a cat named Nero may not have been fully thought-out. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
1140 His majesty's first edict is to legalize catnip 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1141 Four and twenty blackbirds were too many to eat all at once, King Tom. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
1142 Of course he looks worried. Nine lives...Henry VIII. You do the math. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
1143 Just like his father. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
1144 First, the dog goes 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1145 Your majesty, it's just not royal of you to poop outside of your litter box. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
1146 Dogs have masters, cats have staff. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1147 Pride and Paunch 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
1148 How long do you think it will take for them to realize he's dead? 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
1149 You know, you're not the only pussy with leadership problems right now. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1150 Just how am I spoiling Rex? 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
1151 The emperor is wearing no clothes. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
1152 I knew letting him on the bed that first time was a mistake. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1153 Your Highness, the dog humbly requests a lower number on his shock collar. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
1154 I told Princess Fluffy we were getting a puppy. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1155 Governing is much harder than he thought it'd be. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1156 We need to talk about where your majesty pees 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1157 He says this place is a dump, but he's not even trying to hit the litter box. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1158 Your majesty, we are all out of milk... 1.2429 0.05549 70 54 15 1
1159 Naming her Cersei might have been a mistake. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1160 Un-neuter me, then maybe we'll talk. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1161 It's supposed to boost his self-esteem. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1162 Any second now. He will tell us what to do. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1163 He must be sitting on the remote 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1164 How come every time you do catnip you become such a drama queen? 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1165 His ancestry kit said he was part Siamese... 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1166 The vet says megalomania isn't rare in cats. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1167 Initially we imagined the royal litter box as a harmless incentive. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1168 What, you think your kitty litter don't stink? 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1169 He's in over his whiskers... 1.2429 0.05549 70 54 15 1
1170 The vet recommends Prozac for his depression but says there isn't a lot we can do about his grandiosity. 1.2429 0.06881 70 58 7 5
1171 He's still mad that he lost the popular vote. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1172 He made the hamster dress up as a court jester before eating him. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1173 Her mewjesty has been this way since the DNA results came back feral. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1174 'No, you can't fire us' 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1175 No. I don't care if You Tube thinks you're hilarious. I'm not wearing this thing. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1176 I don't care what they did in Egypt, I'm done being his servant. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1177 Honestly Geoffrey, you never approve of any of my friends. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1178 Should we bring him in for fleas and God complex? 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1179 I told you not to name her Princess! 1.2429 0.05549 70 54 15 1
1180 Okay, maybe we have been spoiling him. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1181 I don't think the meal was fit for a king. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1182 Don't complain! We warned you of the responsibilities. 1.2429 0.06881 70 58 7 5
1183 I know you picked up a taxidermy hobby but you didn't have to kill my cat. 1.2429 0.06881 70 58 7 5
1184 Well, it was your idea to name him Balthus. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1185 The red dot eludes me. I am a failure. Bring me hemlock, my lady. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1186 I think we should put him on Prozcat. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1187 They were out of emperor penguins 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1188 He says we have to start using the litter box. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1189 Shouting, "Off with their heads!" will not solve our mice problem. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1190 No, Whiskers, you are not the king of France. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1191 We didn't realize at the time how important heirs were going to be. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1192 Maybe we should give him back his phone. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1193 Henry's on his Eighth life. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1194 So I guess the 'king of the jungle' thing didn't work out? 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1195 I think he's been watching too much Game of Thrones 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
1196 All we're asking is that you acknowledge that "cat privilege" is a thing. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1197 We named you "Simba" ironically. You're not even a lion. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1198 You should see his litter box. 1.2429 0.07176 70 59 5 6
1199 Yes, very regal but is he house trained? 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1200 We have a royal problem here. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
1201 We're not literally knocking you off your throne. We're just going to exert a little more authority so you don't make all the rules around here. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1202 I think he's drunk with power. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1203 Maybe a non-orange cat wouldn't have these delusions of grandeur. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
1204 Would it have been better not to let him watch all those reruns of "The Apprentice." 1.2407 0.07447 54 44 7 3
1205 Promise me you won't binge watch Game of Thrones with him ever again. 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
1206 Your Majesty, consider your legacy. Kill the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built! 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
1207 Sorry, but we're not putting turrets on the litter box. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
1208 They're calling it "entitlement malaise". 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
1209 It was your idea to take him to "The Lion King"! 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
1210 He's been beheading local rodents he feels are a threat. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1211 I warned you at the shelter the orange male would be trouble. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
1212 This happens every time the dog goes to the groomers. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1213 We think it's time you had one of your staff clean the litter box. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1214 I meant throne as a euphemism for litter box 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
1215 We need to talk about our plans for your royal 'family jewels.' 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
1216 The system is rigged to benefit the fat cats. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1217 Let him have his birthday moment; he goes to the vet tomorrow. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
1218 We should never have named him Donald. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
1219 I didn't dress him like that. Did you? 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
1220 Let's have no more talk of abdication. It's just a very small puppy. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
1221 Heavy meows the head that wears the crown! 1.2394 0.05101 71 54 17 0
1222 Head of the House of Whisker 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1223 OK, your meow-jesty. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
1224 We exist only to serve you, but the dog is disputing your claim to the throne. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
1225 Are you sure the DNA test was accurate? I find it hard to believe that our cat is related to Louis XIV of France. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1226 And to think we found him in an alley! 1.2394 0.07082 71 60 5 6
1227 ...oh, and he wants the parrot drawn and quartered. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
1228 We should get him some shorts. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1229 Sorry, but you really can't fire the dog. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
1230 But he's sorry. Really, really sorry. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1231 Our relationship was never the same after grandma left her money to Mittens. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
1232 There is no easy way to tell you this, so here goes: we're having a baby. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1233 Won't somebody rid me of these meddlesome owners? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1234 This is why we advised against catnip brownies at the coronation after-party. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
1235 No, I don't think we spoil her. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
1236 It's top-cat ennui. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
1237 The mice are calling for your head. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1238 We didn't realize you were lactose-intolerant. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1239 Listen, we accept that cats can be difficult, but we are absolutely not bowing... 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1240 I told you we shouldn't have let him watch "Game of Thrones". 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
1241 I'm sorry but "the Iron Throne, kitty version" was sold out. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1242 The Lion King really created a lot of expectations. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
1243 "Do you notice something different about him since we switched to Trump kibble? 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
1244 We've called this house meeting to discuss your inability to respect your fellow housemates. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1245 No, even with the robe you'll shed, so you can't sit on the furniture. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1246 Well, since you're a cat, chances of voter fraud are low. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
1247 Are we done watching "King of Thrones?" 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
1248 We humbly ask your forgiveness for presenting dry food to you 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
1249 Just tell us what to do. 1.2388 0.06755 67 55 8 4
1250 We've let this happen. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
1251 Now is the summer of his content. 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
1252 You still need to go to the vet just like everyone else. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
1253 That's the last time you get any catnip. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
1254 So this is what you meant by "Must worship cats." 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
1255 Game of Thrones has gone to her head. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
1256 Off with his nuts 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
1257 Hmmm....let them eat catnip 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
1258 It seems in ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; Prima Donald here has not forgotten this. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
1259 He still doesn't look happy. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
1260 Oh no, the cat's been watching CNN again. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
1261 He says he's a dog in a cat's body. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
1262 Well somebody has to tell him we are getting a dog 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
1263 We'll have to buy another canary before Molly gets home from school. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
1264 Look, we know the catnip is yours. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
1265 Maybe we shouldn't have named him Henry. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
1266 She married Prince William. They've got kids. It's time to move on. 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
1267 I think he knows I'm pregnant. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
1268 I think he's finally realized that he can't produce an heir. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
1269 We think it's time that you looked for a job... 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
1270 It's done nothing for his posture. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
1271 I'm worried. He hasn't issued a decree since we had him neutered. 1.2361 0.05040 72 55 17 0
1272 We can change your name, Kitty, but "Pussy King" is a "no." 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
1273 I know you felt bad when you yelled at him earlier but this is a little much. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
1274 Do you think he's depressed? 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
1275 You wouldn't believe what I had to do to the litterbox. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
1276 He's lost interest in everything now that he's got us trained. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
1277 He thinks his kitty litter don't stink 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1278 We're sorry, we didn't know the new kitten would stage a coup. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1279 We regret, Your Highness, that we have not been able to find the four and twenty blackbirds for your dinner pie. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1280 I would prefer the King Charles Spaniel. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1281 I can't believe we've been let go. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1282 You weren't supposed to eat the blackbirds. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1283 Really, your kingdom for a mouse? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1284 Sorry, Smokey, but cats do NOT have nine wives. 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1285 Fetch me my litter box. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1286 Well this explains the mouse-sized guillotine. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1287 Off the furniture, guys. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1288 Yes He's happy but I think he's worried the mice may released the transcripts about his meeting with the Tigers. 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1289 Times have changed. They no longer own us. They just rule us. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1290 Pardon us, your Majesty, but you're no longer able to produce an heir. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1291 I casually told the taxidermist he was our little prince. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1292 I think we need to cut back on his catnip. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1293 Our therapist said we shouldn't have a cat-centered marriage. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1294 You're not alone in preferring 'The Lion King' over 'Cats.' 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1295 at least he doesn't think he's God. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1296 Your mother was right. All those early years of us fawning over him would eventually lead to this pathetic state of entitlement 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1297 You still can't go outside. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1298 We are just trying to make you feel good about yourself. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1299 I told you this might happen if we named him Trump. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1300 Well, the shelter did describe him as "majestic." 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1301 He's everything we hoped he'd be. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1302 What possible difference could one little baby make? 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1303 I didn't realize that he was paying so much attention when we watch 'Game Of Thrones.' 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1304 I guess checking the pet-included option on Airbnb wasn't such a good idea. 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1305 How did you think the dogs would react when you said, 'Let them drink toilet water'? 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1306 We know it's a lot to ask, but if you could just see your way clear to allow us to sleep in one morning? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1307 The Royal Pet Spa has given him delusions of grandeur. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1308 It began to go wrong when we started buying the organic mice. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1309 I should have known better than to let him binge watch reruns of "Game of Thrones." 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1310 I think the Fancy Feast has gone to his head. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1311 Thing is, Bob doesn't like to be called "The Gentleman Scooper of the Poop Chamber 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1312 That's what we get for naming him "King." 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1313 ... and as my first order as king you will clean my litter box hourly, not weekly as you foul peasants have treated me 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1314 He will let us stay here if we pay the rent. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1315 My family has always named our cats "Louis." This is Louis XIV. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1316 NOW will you stop peeing outside the box? 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1317 At least she's past the Egyptian goddess phase. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1318 Sorry, Puss, the jesters all work in the White House now. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1319 He insists we call his food dishes Camilla Parker Bowls. 1.2353 0.07293 68 58 4 6
1320 Bob agrees. We would like you to shit in the little box. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1321 I'm worried the attention's going to his head. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1322 Everything he touches turns to tuna. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1323 She has been like this since November. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1324 I think the Fancy Feast has gone to his head. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1325 Cheer up! We said de-claw, not de-throne. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1326 I guess we could just give her whatever she wants like other cat owners do. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1327 I suppose we were foolish to hope he'd become more kingly. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1328 Do you think it's gout? 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1329 We might have been wrong to deny him an heir. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1330 What? Buy the boots too? 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1331 We were wondering if it would be alright if we went out tonight? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1332 Heavy lies the cat. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1333 He only wears the crown after he drinks too much. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1334 Your mother was right. We should have adopted a dog. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1335 If he accepts you as one of his subjects, we can set a wedding date. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1336 I've always heard cats rule humans but I think he's taking it too far. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1337 We shouldn't have named him Princess. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1338 How do you think we'll ever tell him that he basically has no clothes? 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1339 This morning he tweeted this place is a dump 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1340 She's been listless ever since the Brexit vote. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1341 He isn't the same since that mouse told him he was naked. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1342 Give her credit, she did win the popular vote. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1343 Well, he's eaten all of his loyal subjects, so what's next? 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1344 We see your point but executing Patches is a bit harsh. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1345 Mittens, it's time we talk about your Game of Thrones habit. 1.2353 0.05182 68 52 16 0
1346 I knew we should have gone with the popular vote. 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1347 I told you we shouldn't name him Donald. 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1348 For your own good, we've decided there will be no more binge-watching of The Lion King. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1349 I told you the Fancy Feast was a bad idea. 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1350 The dog is requesting a visa extension. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1351 Of course you're depressed. But we're here to help put that Owl incident behind you. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1352 Remember when HE would bring mice to US? 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1353 He's become so full of himself since his video went viral 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1354 We feel you're becoming a royal pain... 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1355 I blame the curiosity. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1356 But we can't afford caviar more than twice a week. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1357 Weren't you scheduled to be meeting with the delegation of small, woodland creatures? 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1358 He beheaded a mouse yesterday. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1359 And that is how I became King of the U.S. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1360 You're going to have to accept the fact that your realm extends only to your litter box. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1361 Regal Cat Litter said they want to go in a different direction. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1362 But really--who rescued who? 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1363 The breeder said it was a Persian-Targaryen mix. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1364 He's been like that ever since Trump grabbed him. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1365 This was more amusing when he was just a candidate for adoption 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1366 Who voted for this cat?! 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1367 The taxidermist really captured his essence, wouldn't you say? 1.2353 0.07293 68 58 4 6
1368 Honey, we shouldn't have kids. 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1369 Being dumped before prom isn't the worst thing in the world. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1370 No, you cannot behead the dog! 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1371 Domestication has taken its toll. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1372 We feel, Mr. Miffles, that, as the family pet, you are entitled to our best truth; so Bruce and I felt compelled to let you know, that, fond as we are of you, and in spite of our very real affections, you're just not all that. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1373 I've talked with Mildred Peirce. Her cat Max had a problem with catnip abuse. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1374 He's been like this ever since seeing the Lion King. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1375 I told you not to give him canned food. 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1376 We respectfully remind you that your authority is not plenary. Every effort will be made to keep Buddy out of your bowl and the Bashful Box. There can be no execution. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1377 Look, Harry, it's 'The cat's in the cradle AND the silver spoon,' and it isn't meant to be taken literally... 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1378 The Emperor has no clothes! 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1379 We should have never named the cat Trump. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1380 Is it true you told the pet psychic that we 'bore' you? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1381 It's the tweeting that concerns us most. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1382 I think we over did it on the Fancy Feast... 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
1383 Can you put the throne and crown away? We have friends coming over in 30 minutes and don't want them to know who really rules this home. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1384 And to think he traded away a good horse. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1385 He's acted like this ever since his video went viral. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1386 We should have never let him watch The Lion King. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1387 What do you mean, you feel neglected? 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1388 This is the 5th day he has refused Tuna. Please give him his phone again. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
1389 On the bright side: he is castle-trained. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1390 He says he won't wear the boots until he gets his own closet 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
1391 So "pick up the royal litter" isn't a "chair" reference? 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1392 Would you mind if we took a vacation? 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
1393 Had we known, we never would have neutered you. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1394 Do you want to tell him or should I? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
1395 Sorry, but catching a mouse will only get you so far. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
1396 I am actually more concerned about the way he's been ordering the mice to amuse him. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
1397 We had to call off the hunt. Mice are now an endangered species. 1.2319 0.06892 69 58 6 5
1398 It's the ennui. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1399 He couldn't care less about the mice. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1400 Maybe a seventeen-day vacation would help. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1401 Not what you expected? 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
1402 C'mon. You can tell us where the mice are hiding. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1403 He's been watching National Geographic's special on lions again. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1404 We promise: Nothing but locally sourced, organic treats from now on. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1405 Wouldn't a pair of boots be nice , too? 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
1406 He's establishing a hierarchy I'm not comfortable with. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1407 It's good to be cat! 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1408 Tell us what happened to Kitty Boleyn. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1409 Apologies, Sire, but commoners are forbidden to lick your fur for you. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1410 . . . or we could just let him be a cat. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1411 In hindsight, maybe we shouldn't have named him Donald. 1.2308 0.05267 65 50 15 0
1412 He thinks he's Donald Trump 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1413 Big deal,she got a mouse. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1414 The vet says it's Advanced Feline Affluenza. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1415 He's a rescue from a coup de chat. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1416 I just don't think we should have to pay an exterminator to get rid of the mice. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1417 Don't worry, your highness, the new kitten will only be a duke. 1.2308 0.05267 65 50 15 0
1418 They've taken away his tweeter. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1419 But if we let you outside and something bad does happen, what do we tell your 35k followers on Instagram? 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
1420 I guess this get-up's not making up for getting him fixed. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1421 Coronation ball... dancing till the wee hours. We told you boots were the wrong choice. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1422 King is as high as it goes. 1.2308 0.05267 65 50 15 0
1423 We have decided that a goldfish would be more in line with our progressive values. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1424 I was hoping for a mouser. 1.2308 0.07195 65 55 5 5
1425 Dry cat food is not treason. 1.2308 0.05267 65 50 15 0
1426 But is he fulfilled? 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1427 So much for switching from dry food to tuna. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1428 Is it the ennui? 1.2308 0.05267 65 50 15 0
1429 But lots of families have a cat and a dog. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1430 I wish we were dog people 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1431 The superhero outfit would be more slimming. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1432 We just found out he's descended from Charlemagne's cat. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1433 He staunchly refuses to abdicate. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1434 I told you not to name him Trump 1.2308 0.07195 65 55 5 5
1435 But he didn't win the popular vote. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1436 I worry he has lost touch with the people. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1437 He learned this from you, George! 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1438 We're here to negotiate terms for Fido to return to the house. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1439 Maybe we should get him a jester. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1440 The taxidermist really ran with the "regal" thing, eh? 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1441 I think the trust fund Mom left him is getting to his head! 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1442 I guess all that's missing are the boots... 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
1443 We won't think any less of you if you want to abdicate. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1444 Shall we tell him about the baby 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
1445 I told you we shouldn't let her watch 'Game of Thrones'.... 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
1446 He's been this way since he went paleo. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1447 Where did we go wrong? 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1448 Hairy is the head that wears the crown. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1449 Your DNA indicates you're thirty-seven percent sloth. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1450 You can have your iPhone back after you clean out your litter box. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1451 Ask yourself...what would Cersei do? 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1452 It only confirms what we already knew! 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1453 The diagnosis is royal ennui. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1454 Most cats just THINK they rule the house! 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1455 It's not Camelot if you're the only one playing. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1456 Pretending to be King is tiring. I do not know how Donald does it. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1457 He's been taking that catnip from Amsterdam again. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1458 We should never have switched to Fancy Feast. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1459 It's an abdication or divorce. You pick. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1460 We could have a mouse beheading. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
1461 Morning tweet from the king: For the protection of cats we will erect a tremendous dog-proof wall on all of our borders and the dogs will pay for it. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1462 It's your turn to clean out the chamber pot. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1463 How about we drop the 2% and go to whole milk? 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1464 It’s not funny—she’ll be mortified when the catnip wears off. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1465 He was fixed to prevent any heirs to the crown. 1.2308 0.07195 65 55 5 5
1466 He just proclaimed it's time to clean the litter box. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1467 The best thing about a live-in monarch is you don't take the one in Washington so seriously. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1468 It's always been lonely at the top. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
1469 Daddy, I thought I was your little princess! 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1470 Le Meeow, c'est moi. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1471 It was a mistake to name him Donald... 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1472 I think it's time we stop feeding him the fancy feast... 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1473 I hate to say I told you so, but 'Rex' is a dog's name. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1474 Shame of thrones. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1475 Maybe if we get him a smaller crown, he could at least sit up straight. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1476 Not the royal pussy treatment I had in mind. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1477 Heirs or no heirs, tomorrow you get spayed. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1478 King size bed? 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1479 Your Fancy Feast days are done — back to Friskies. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1480 didn't even make it a week in the White House; the President tweeted that he was too territorial 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1481 Catnip is a hell of a drug. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1482 All those "views" of his YouTube videos have gone to his head. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1483 I knew we shouldn’t have let him read Animal Farm. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1484 But, we simply just can't banish all dogs 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1485 At least we don't have to pay for his education 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1486 We both thought family intervention was needed and have made an appointment for you with Dr. Seuss. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
1487 But you ate all of the mice. How about some well done steak with ketchup? 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1488 Well, if Majesty forbids us to watch Mommy and Daddy's program, then Majesty will just have to go to bed without Majesty's 'Tender Nibbles.' Right, Paul? He'll just have to go to bed without his 'Tender Nibbles.' 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1489 I'm sorry, I don't know any more dog jokes. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
1490 But the polls were fake news! 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
1491 She wants to change her name to Cersei. 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
1492 If it please my liege, this is my new boyfriend, Dan. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
1493 He wishes he were King of Siam. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
1494 The numbers are in - your approval rating with the mice has plummeted since you ate one. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
1495 Are we sure we didn't spoil him? 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
1496 I told him he had 'nine lives'. He heard 'six wives'. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
1497 Quick, grab my pussy! 1.2273 0.07094 66 56 5 5
1498 We're sorry, but the Humane Society doesn't check for claims to the throne before their procedures. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
1499 He blames us for not preparing him to be an outside cat. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
1500 Yes, you rule the world. No, you can't be "unfixed". 1.2273 0.07873 44 36 6 2
1501 Unfortunately, you've become so lethargic that even the mice are concerned. 1.2254 0.06713 71 60 6 5
1502 Do you think if we changed the cat food it would make a difference? 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
1503 It's your own fault -- YOU named him "Trump." 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
1504 That had better be faux fur! 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
1505 He wants to play the lead in King Richard III. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
1506 Can I get you anything else? A mouse, a bird, a lizard? 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1507 We have gold plated the litter box, sire. Have you any further commands? 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1508 When we get him declawed, maybe we can get him dethroned as well? 1.2222 0.07313 63 54 4 5
1509 I thought it would make our living room great again. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1510 OhTrumpcat, I'm sure things will get better. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1511 Are you sure this is what she meant by cat sitting? 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1512 Henry started acting a little peculiar when he'd used up 8 of his lives 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1513 I told you Rex was a bad name for a cat. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1514 Your taxidermy skills are impressive, but I'm taking my cat and leaving. Don't call me for a second date. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1515 Why don't you just play with string? 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1516 I don't think he took the idea of getting a dog very well. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1517 You just had to name her Queen. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1518 Suppose we said "please." 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1519 Another tax on the dog? 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1520 We no longer have room in our lives for your ego. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1521 Concentrate--the audition is tomorrow. It's 'Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown', not 'Purr, purr, purr' 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1522 We changed it to Caturday, what else can we do? 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1523 If I...were the king...of the foooootreeeeeeeest! 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1524 Henry the Ninth 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1525 We promise not to watch Game of Thrones without you ever again. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1526 Honey, we'd like to talk about your attitude. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1527 We'll appeal to his Instagram fan base to kick it off right after the indictment.. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1528 But you won the popular vote in this house. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1529 Think we should cut back on the foie gras? 1.2222 0.05280 63 49 14 0
1530 He's been like this since the dog died. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1531 We're getting a dog. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1532 We are telling you for the last time, Game of Thrones is not real and I will not kill the neighbour's cat because you said so. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1533 We're thinking of switching you back to kibble. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1534 Sorry. There just aren't any sequels to Cat in the Hat. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1535 How did your audition for Game of Thrones go? 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1536 No, we can't let you kill all the dogs in the neighborhood 1.2222 0.06915 72 62 4 6
1537 maybe we should have had kids. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1538 The new kitten, like us, will just be part of your Court; nothing else, we promise. 1.2222 0.05280 63 49 14 0
1539 I knew we should have gotten a dog. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1540 He who has never learned to obey can ever be a good leader. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1541 "So how long is your palace being renovated for? 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1542 The YouTube royalties have really gone to his head 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1543 We're sorry. The laser battery is dead. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1544 If it please your highness, we would like to retire for the night. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1545 What's up Pussycat? 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1546 I don't know why he won't answer to Tom. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1547 He's been like that since fat cats took over the White House. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1548 Well, then describe how you think a more genuine apology really should sound. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1549 Would a little mouse pate' make you feel better? 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1550 You need to find a job. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1551 We're a democracy no more. 1.2222 0.05280 63 49 14 0
1552 You suppose we could use him in an Fancy Feast commercial? 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1553 Well, it still SMELLS like a litter box 1.2222 0.07313 63 54 4 5
1554 I know you've been an only child for years, but we want you to love the new puppy too! 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1555 Your appointment with the Vet should eliminate any false Paternity claims 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1556 Whose turn is it to humor me next, people? 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1557 It's over. We're getting a dog. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1558 I think it was a mistake to feed him 'Pedigree' all these years. 1.2222 0.07313 63 54 4 5
1559 And to think he's still on his first life... 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1560 At least she doesn't tweet 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1561 And, we've put the children up for adoption. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1562 Just to be clear – We bow both before and after we feed you? 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1563 He is not amused. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1564 You are still the king of our jungle. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1565 I'm feline mighty fine. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1566 Yours really is a royal pain in the ass. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1567 It's supposed to be "raining" not "reigning". 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1568 Mum and Dad still love you very much. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1569 I warned you he'd become a royal pain. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1570 We need to call Dr. Phil. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1571 We'll give you back your Twitter when you stop behaving like a cat. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1572 No more watching "Game of Thrones" for you. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1573 Your Majesty, your subjects are demanding a reduction in royal hairballs. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1574 The vet says he has delusions of being Donald Trump. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
1575 We've been over this before. You can't smoke your pipe in here, and we can't afford to keep the fiddlers three. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
1576 A gecko beheading has taken place on the porch. Is there anything you would like to tell us? 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1577 And the dog's name is Rex. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
1578 The mice have revolted and demanded his abdication 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
1579 He has been this way every since he licked the Imperial margarine. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1580 The Donald called, he wants his crown back. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1581 I dare you to scratch the royal belly. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
1582 We should lay off the Fancy Feast for a while. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
1583 I knew he was going to London to visit the Queen, but I didn't expect this. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
1584 Apparently the Lobster Au Gratin had overtones of mouse. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1585 We were thinking you might like a dog to hiss at. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1586 His Highness appears to be catatonic. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1587 Should we return him to Mar-a-Lago. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1588 Maybe we're actually dog people. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1589 When they came up with the bit about "nine lives," they didn't factor in the six wives. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1590 In the end it will be his mewbris that brings him down. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
1591 When did it start being all about him? 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
1592 You're the one who asked the Genie to give us something better than the government we have today. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1593 Yes, you have nine lives, but you were not a king in your past life. That's not how it works, Tommy. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1594 Do you think we spoil him? 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1595 I don't think "here kitty, kitty" is goin' to work. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1596 I told you we should have gotten a dog. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1597 Yes, you killed your father and slept with your mother, but it's our fault for naming you Rex. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1598 Apparently he was next in feline of succession. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1599 What did I say about feeding him Fancy Feast? 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1600 Please, we've done everything you asked, now where's Fido? 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
1601 Please let us go outside...we promise not to jay walk...or get into any fights. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
1602 He's an indoor cat. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1603 Let's not pussy-foot around anymore. It's time for a coup! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1604 Would a Fabergé scepter cheer you up? 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
1605 Maybe we should have gone with a rescue, instead of a purebred. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1606 About your royal licking... 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1607 Oh no. Our fat cat is tired of winning too. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1608 invading the johnsons is fraught with danger, your majesty. They have dogs. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
1609 Yes, we got a kitten, but think of it as succession planning. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1610 He claims he has a divine right for his favourite spot. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
1611 2 million Facebook views and 3 million Instagram views is not enough, master? 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
1612 We actually bought this cat? 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
1613 Looks like Cat King Cole has been into the catnip again. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
1614 Well, I guess this makes it official. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1615 Where did we go wrong? 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
1616 You should see the cat box! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1617 Trump's influence is everywhere. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1618 From now on, she wants to be called, "Miss Puddytat Lion-born of House Purrgareyan, First of Her Name, Queen of the Seven Cul-de-sacs, the Unspayed, Mother of Kittens." 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1619 I hope now you see why I wanted to get a dog. 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1620 Princess is just a name, not a title! 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1621 Don't take this wrong, but we're adding a couple of Dobermans to our family. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1622 No, honey, you wanted to name him Trump! 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1623 It's not me; it's your cat. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1624 We thought you should know that Winter is coming, He's a Great Dane/Boxer mix. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1625 Before adopting Mr. Nibbles we thought Machiavelli's The Prince was satire. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1626 As your advisors, we thought all the catnip was getting in the way of your official duties. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1627 I can’t believe we now have a malignant narcissist at home 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1628 If he says 'Hakuna Matata' one more time... 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1629 We know you're disappointed, but there's no way you can be 'top dog'. 1.2167 0.07551 60 52 3 5
1630 I'm so sorry. I should have discussed it with you before I got pregnant. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1631 Dear, do you think his expectations are excessive? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1632 When you said you were getting the King Louis a throne, I thought you meant a new litter box. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1633 When he moves his right foot to the left, he wants Tender Vittles. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1634 I told you Game of Thrones would be a negative influence on our family. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1635 I prefer the term Enlightened Despot. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1636 I told you we shouldn't have let him watch Trump on TV. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1637 Of course we love you, but you're still not a dog. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1638 Who's going to tell the emperor he needs new clothes? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1639 OK, so your past life regression therapy revealed you've had eight previous lives... 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1640 For the last time, Oliver, you're not a king and this is not a jungle! 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1641 Your turn to be Master of the Queen's Litter Box. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1642 Please! We'll never let it happen again. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1643 I thought it was just a phase. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1644 ...and how is this supposed to improve our sex life? 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1645 She hasn't given you permission to sit yet. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1646 Prince Rusty looked out the window today, the female backyard cats were laughing at him . 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1647 What if we decided not to serve? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1648 I don't think, "Let them eat tuna," is going to win you any friends in your cat kingdom. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1649 We sense a keen disappointment in all that you survey. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1650 Game of Thrones will be on in a week, there's got to be something you can do with yourself until then. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1651 You can go on trying to "Make Cats Great Again" ... just not here. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1652 There is no easy way to say this, we are getting a dog. 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1653 When we named you Cat King Cole, it was just a play on words. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1654 I warned you that you wouldn't be able to sleep 16 hours a day if you were king. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1655 Generations of inbreeding. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1656 We are not getting you another rat court jester. You've eaten the last three! 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1657 I'm stopping his Fancy Feast subscribe & save tomorrow. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1658 Let me guess, Mr. Wiggles' DNA test results arrived? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1659 Isn't this a bit much for killing one stray mouse 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1660 Please, may we please change the channel from Fox News? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1661 realizing you're cat has a problem is the first step. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1662 I don't think inheriting all Aunt Ella's money has changed Snowball, do you? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1663 OK, agreed. We give you more treats and you give us more territory. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1664 'The Lion King' is just a story - Simba isn't coming. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1665 Do you mind if we sleep with you in your bed tonight? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1666 Although we could continue to pledge our undying loyalty to you, there remains a remarkable temptation to have you put to sleep and replace you with a puppy. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1667 It all started with the cat nip. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1668 "King Lear" is just your name; not your identity. 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1669 Yes of course you are King of the Jungle. it's just that your jungle was reclaimed by civilization. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1670 It was a mistake to make him an indoor only cat. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1671 I don't care, you still have to use the litter box" 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1672 Just because you won the Miss Kitty USA contest it doesn't mean that some cretin isn't going to try and grab you! 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
1673 Historically kings often die early: syphilis, the plague, beheading. So there is hope. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1674 "Bla bla bla" is all they ever say. Do they not see my robe? My throne? My Royal Crown?!? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1675 I want a divorce. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1676 I wonder what his next 8 will be like 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1677 They say that getting a dog will solve the problem. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1678 We watched "Game of Thrones" all weekend, and when I returned from work on Monday, he was like this. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1679 Would you rather have my mother move in? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1680 "Uneasy lies the crown eh Whiskers? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1681 Your mother and I would like to know how you plan to pay for four kittens? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1682 Frankly, the early morning hairballs undermine your authority, your highness. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1683 For the last time, they are not doing a sequel to "Cats." 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1684 Does Your Majesty Whiskers III know who left the dead mouse by the pantry? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1685 I think we need to change your catnip. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1686 The mice voted for Brexit just to spite you. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1687 '"Aww...has Princess had a bad day?" 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
1688 The regalia isn't the problem. The taxidermy is. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1689 We're sorry, Rex, but pooping on the carpet is not a royal prerogative. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1690 The breeder said his name is Cat King Cole. 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1691 Wow, truffles, that was, like, the biggest, baddest mouse in, like, the entire history of the city. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1692 perhaps we should release him back into the wild? 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
1693 I'm sorry, sweetie. When he said "Grab 'em by the pussy" he didn't mean your kind. 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1694 The bad news is that your life as a king is over. The good news is that you have 8 lives left! 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1695 Only one more season, your grace. 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
1696 And maybe someday, you will get the lead in that Broadway play, but for now, I need you to continue to use the litter box. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1697 Listen, everyone will have to make sacrifices for the puppy. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1698 Look, Schrodinger -- two new leather sofas. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1699 I'm tired of all the winning! 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1700 "Dogs are awesome, but cats rule. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1701 Does this mean we're in the dog house? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1702 The vet suggested we switch back to dry food. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1703 What are we, chopped liver? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1704 I think the pampering backfired. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1705 One chocolate mouse too many. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1706 I admit it; I bought the throne. But I don't know where crown and the cape came from.... 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1707 He never realized that being president meant no more naps. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1708 I think one of your hairballs has lodged in your brain. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1709 I think it was the case of margarine. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1710 We're sorry, but we cannot allow you go rule our home the way Trump rules the government 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1711 He's just living up to his potential . . . You should try it. DEAR! 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1712 I think he needs to start dating. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1713 You went to London to visit the Queen, and then? 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
1714 You were playing dress-up with Prince Charles again today, weren't you? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1715 So, do you still want to move in? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1716 We may have spoiled her with that new canned food. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1717 Why does he have to keep reminding us? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1718 -Are you SURE you still want kids ? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1719 Look, we named you His Royal Supremeness, Lord of All, the Great Purr, as a joke, more or less. 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1720 That's not what we meant by "go sit on the throne". 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
1721 Who died and made him king? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1722 We've got a pipe and a bowl, but where can we find fiddlers three? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1723 It's "L'etat c'est moi," not "L'etat c'est meow." 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1724 It's still kitty litter and it's not going to change itself. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1725 He claims to be a direct descendant of Simba, the lion king. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1726 The mice are definitely outnumbered... but they have dragons. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1727 I wanted to name him "Pumpkin." But Nooooo -- you insisted he was going to be "Simba." There's no going back now. 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
1728 There's no way this is a phase. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1729 OK. We have taken care of the dog. 1.2167 0.07551 60 52 3 5
1730 Can you tweet about something else? How about the joys of self hygiene, and mice (but not men)? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1731 I say we just go back to the boots . . . . 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1732 ...so after you frightened the little mouse under her chair, the Queen did WHAT? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1733 So, what makes you think Mischief can play golf any time he pleases? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1734 Pawns! 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1735 Let them eat chicken. Hell, let them eat liver too. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1736 May we sit here or should we kneel? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1737 What good is a crown when you're missing your orbs? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1738 We are going to start treating you like a cat. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1739 I think I would have preferred him stuffed in a more-natural setting. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1740 I have a feline this isn't going to work out. I may have to flea. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1741 Please pardon us your Grace; we were fools to plan a vacation without you. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1742 But Honey, everyone knows that cats rule. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1743 Per your instructions, essential oil of mouse hearts has been added to your scratching wall and litter pool. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1744 We don't like what Royal Canin and Fancy Feast has done to you. We're switching you back to Meow Mix. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
1745 Louis is bored. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1746 This is why Trump shouldn't have been President! 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1747 Is he really an enchanted prince or does he just have an attitude? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1748 Your boyfriend smells like a dog person. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
1749 We should have had a kid. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
1750 Perhaps his majesty would be feeling a little better if he hadn't just scarfed down all of daddy's boeuf bourguignon. 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
1751 Would it please his majesty if mummy scratched his belly? 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
1752 OK, so he's not qualified. What's our next step? 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1753 We're moving to an apartment that doesn't allow kings. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
1754 Help us Sir, the mice are revolting. 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
1755 If cats could talk, they probably wouldn't. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1756 I could've sworn that I ordered Seuss' 'Cat in the Hat,' but Amazon delivered this!?? 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
1757 You may be orange, but that's no reason to act like Donald Trump. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1758 How much was this litter box? 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1759 I dunno. Says he's under audit and won't release his tax returns 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1760 Even the cat is in to Game of Thrones 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
1761 He has no intention of sharing his authority 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
1762 As far as I'm concerned, you're both in the doghouse. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1763 They captured his eyes spot on! What do you think honey? 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1764 Of course your member of the family, just not the"Royal"family! 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1765 You had to know the Mouse Guards would turn against you once you ate their leader. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1766 When Your Highness craps in daddy's shoe it makes mommy very sad. 1.2154 0.07102 65 56 4 5
1767 He insists we call him Rex now. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
1768 Well, you're the one who spoiled him with the canned food! 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1769 I don't care what your mother says. I did not give him too much catnip when he was a kitten. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1770 He does know that you can't just be king, you have to do something, right? 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1771 I'm sorry, Tom, I thought he was asleep and the kids wanted to watch The Lion King... I didn't know... 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1772 Maybe we shouldn't have named him 'King.' 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1773 His highness isn't happy with the new litter box. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
1774 It's the worst case of White Cat Privilege I've ever seen. 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
1775 Fuzzy is the head that wears the crown. Oooh fuzzy wuzzy wuzzy. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1776 I didn't have the heart to tell him in another life he actually had been elected President. 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
1777 Even if we got rid of the crown and all the other regalia, would anything else really change here? 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1778 When he's controlling the remote - that's when we cross the line. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1779 Maybe we never should have gotten him fixed. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1780 Please cheer up, Rocko. We're sorry we had you neutered. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1781 He didn't know being king could be so complicated. 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
1782 I know we are using a tax loophole, but don't you think he is going too far with this Head of Household status. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1783 Cheer up, snookems, we're very close to choosing a new queen. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1784 Trust me. This could be a thing. Bigger than Facebook. 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
1785 I'm sorry, it's just not in the budget to stay at Mar-a-Lago. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1786 Of course he's sad,he ate his jester. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1787 because your cousin is the king of the jungle, you are indeed in the line of succession. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1788 I adopted him from a no-coup shelter. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1789 We wish we could afford the premium cat food, but for now this is the best we can do. 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
1790 The dogs have abdicated. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1791 I think this whole power trip thing started after you mentioned his small hairball size. 1.2131 0.07435 61 53 3 5
1792 Your turn to escort His Majesty to the litter box. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1793 What do you suppose happened? 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
1794 He keeps saying, "I'm King of my castle!" 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1795 He's always been king. Now he is just making it official. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1796 He hasn't been the same since he learned it's not a monarchy. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1797 We want to break this to you gently. You're being replaced by a King Charles Cavalier puppy 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1798 We've explained for years. The Wiz isn't coming back. 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
1799 I said I can do an impression of a Meerkat, Broadway said we'll do a Shakespearean musical called King Lear, Cat. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1800 Naming you Henry doesn't mean your heir to the British throne. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1801 This millennial thing is going too far. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1802 A million YouTube subscribers does not make you the boss of us. 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
1803 We should have dethroned before we declawed. 1.2131 0.07435 61 53 3 5
1804 Remember when he used to hide under the bed? 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1805 Cheer up - it's not like I'll be having a litter. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1806 We told you Healthcare wasn't easy 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1807 Buying her Fancy Feast turned out to be a slippery slope. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1808 Just because you're the king of the castle does not mean you can rule with an iron paw. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1809 In three years he will quit tweeting and your videos will be #1 again. 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
1810 We have to tell him that the corgi was just visiting 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
1811 He doesn't have to spell it out, we're not idiots. 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
1812 Indifference and fresh salmon are killing you. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1813 We're sorry that Princess Fluffy didn't meet your expectations. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1814 I know your video got 1 million views but don't you think you've taken it too far? 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1815 She's not that into you. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1816 I told you we shouldn't have let him watch "Game of Thrones". 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1817 We need a dog. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1818 No, we can't banish all dogs from the kingdom, though we can give Your Majesty a soft chin scratch. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1819 We just want what's best for you. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1820 No, Dad. It's not a good substitute for a King Charles Spaniel. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1821 Would'st thou consider using the litter box next time? 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1822 Declaring a travel ban on dogs is not really a good idea at this time, your majesty. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1823 Don't you think you are taking this "king of beasts" a little far? 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1824 He thinks he's king of the jungle. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1825 We didn't know the costume would induce delusions of dander. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1826 Honey, the Game of Thrones binging is really starting to impact the whole family. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1827 Do you think it's because we named him Donald? 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
1828 Please, your Highness, just acknowledge our presence. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1829 I'm not gonna sing you the song from the King and I again. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1830 So you looked at the King. What next? 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
1831 I told you from the start I'm a dog person 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
1832 Yes, but you descended from ferals. 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
1833 The mouse king refuses your suit for the hand of his daughter. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1834 I still think we should have cremated him. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1835 I told you not to give him tuna. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1836 I wouldn't mind if he hadn't beheaded the dog. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1837 You were right, Bob. Catnip and power don't mix. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
1838 If you remember I wanted to call her Puffy Boo, but you insisted on Queenie. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1839 What do we do, she still isn't satisified 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1840 I think the imported salmon is helping with his self-esteem issues 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1841 Could we maybe try a constitutional monarchy for a while? 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1842 Having ruled for many years, Tibbert grew tired of his servants. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
1843 Would you like extra mice to top your tuna casserole majesty? 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1844 We should have never named him Henry! 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
1845 With all due respect Sire, the proverb says only that a cat can LOOK at a king. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1846 Oh well, we may as well face it. The KITTEN is gone . . . Long Live The Cat. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1847 I bought the whole outfit on that website for childless couples. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
1848 We understand, it IS upsetting that your subjects can't see your new clothes. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
1849 Yes, I suppose I did say that cremating him would be nuts. 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
1850 At least he has decided whether he wants to be in or out. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1851 He knows he's funding our retirement through those cat videos you shot when he was a kitten. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1852 I guess when he brought us home, he never thought we would be this much work! 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1853 One canary too many. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1854 We should have never named him Donald. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1855 It's just a conspurracy theory. Nothing to lose a life over. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1856 You see, our feelings for you are merely the result of Stockholm syndrome. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1857 Let's hope he's not above hunting the common mouse 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1858 With that cape and crown, you look like a self-centered narcissist. You should run for president. 1.2069 0.07279 58 50 4 4
1859 He seems to be trying to tell us what we already know. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1860 We understand your trauma, we are shocked too to learn that your Father was a Tomcat... 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1861 It was your idea to call him Rex. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1862 I swear that all we discussed was adopting the kittens. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1863 He says the litter box needs more jewels. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1864 Her Meowjesty has graciously unspooled the toilet paper again. 1.2069 0.07279 58 50 4 4
1865 Being King of the Household ain't all it's cracked up to be, is it? 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1866 We're going to have get a bigger litter box. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1867 One pound of catnip and he thinks he's King Trump 1.2069 0.07279 58 50 4 4
1868 Are you sure the dog died of natural causes? 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1869 It's an exhausting job? Maybe it's the tweet all-nighters. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1870 It was all fun and games till he banished the dog. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1871 And he still insists he should have won the popular vote. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1872 I know that cats consider themselves regal, but this is ridiculous! 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1873 Fluffy binge watched "Game of Thrones"again 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1874 I told you the crown would help him forget that we had him fixed. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1875 It's good to be king. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1876 How about a bigger throne? Or maybe a scepter--would a scepter help? 1.2069 0.07279 58 50 4 4
1877 Sometimes I feel like you care more about him than me. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1878 Your Grace, we request you use the litter box next time. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1879 Just because we named you Donald....... 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1880 I guess we overdid it in the enhanced catnip 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1881 Impressive. And he still has 8 lives. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1882 We let you exile the dog but we cannot allow you to annex the neighbor's back yard. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1883 Well, he did win the Electoral College. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1884 OK The dog is dead. What next? 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1885 I knew it all along, it's just official now. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1886 Having only 8 lives is STILL something to be proud of, princess. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1887 Maybe binge-watching 'Game of Thrones' wasn't such a good idea. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1888 It was your idea to name him DJ Trump! 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1889 This is a royal pain in the ass. 1.2069 0.07279 58 50 4 4
1890 Abdication is not an option? 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1891 Boots?" "Remember the dog ran away with your boots! 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1892 Listen Fluffy, this whole King of the Jungle phase you're going through is getting out of hand. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1893 Rex, it's not ED. You had a procedure when you were very young. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1894 We crossed the line with "lobster night ". 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1895 Why cats will rule the world 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1896 His YouTube video went viral. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1897 His Royal Highness prefers the term plus-size over fat. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1898 Peel another mouse for you sire? 1.2069 0.07279 58 50 4 4
1899 'I vote for naming him Trump,' you said. 'Let's shake things up a little,' you said. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1900 Have you tried past life regressions? 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1901 We should have had a kid. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1902 Now that we've crowned you King, may we have permission to rub your belly, Your Highness? 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1903 Salmon, it's all we have left. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1904 Cersie, next time we don't throw the dog off the roof . . . 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1905 We never should've fed her the fancy feast. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1906 I draw the line at his own Twitter account. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1907 Listen, we get it. Heavy is the head that eats the tuna. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1908 The court appointed psychiatrists called us insane. What does Your Majesty say? 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1909 Oh, My Liege, wouldst pray purr if thou art pleased with thy minions' service? 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1910 Yes, fixed means you can't make princes. 1.2069 0.07683 58 51 2 5
1911 Please, where did you hide the human-nip? 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1912 That's right; regardless what we've called you all these years, technically we are NOT actually your subjects. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1913 What's your take? Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, or it's really not good to be the king? 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1914 He wants a special feast tonight. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1915 Is the throne not as comfy as the radiator, My Lord? 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1916 Shall we bring in the Mouseketeers or Pug the Jester? 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1917 We want you to know that our getting a dog will in no way change your status in our household. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1918 I told you, the dog doesn't want to be your jester. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1919 It's not your fault health care is so complicated. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1920 We're sorry, but it seems the dog has started a republic. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1921 I couldn't care less who gets custody. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1922 Chin up. Making litter great again IS hard! 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1923 You used to rule with an iron paw. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1924 Honey, I think it's time you stopped showing the cat The Lion King. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1925 Don't worry we will find you another pair of boots! 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1926 Sorry, your Highness, while we're away Jenny next door won't be courtseying when she comes to clean the litter box. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1927 No. He's not surprised. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1928 You must forget her! Your subjects will never accept a toy poodle as their queen. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1929 He's feline good so I want to change his name to James Brown. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1930 You mentioned fancy feast so I dressed for the occasion 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1931 Will your majesty be dining on the kibble? 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1932 With posture like that, sire, you're going to get a 'kingk" in your back! 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1933 I just think the world is ready for the title "King Pussy". 1.2069 0.07279 58 50 4 4
1934 Who knew cat care was so complicated? 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1935 You ARE the best kitty. Magnificent. Probably the best since Simba. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1936 Don't be so sad. Next time we'll remember to have them pack any leftover sushi for you. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1937 She's depressed because she thinks it's a demotion. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1938 After he went viral he totally changed. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1939 His Highness desires a totalitarian dictator rodent to amuse him. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1940 It's okay Mr. Chips. It was just a matter of time before Chance the Rapper got more views than your youtube channel. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1941 We know you and Buddy are fighting, but 'off with his head' seems a bit harsh. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1942 Inventing Snap-Cat really went to his head! 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1943 He's been like this ever since that Russian Blue next door left the rat for him. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1944 Ennui. You know...the opposite of what you feel when you threaten the mice with nuclear holocaust. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1945 Heavy is the cat that wears the crown... 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1946 Please don't worry, Princess, we will be here to serve you for all of your lives. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1947 I checked online. Your scepter should arrive tomorrow. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1948 I take it winning the "Anchovy Challenge" wasn't as much fun as you thought it might be. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1949 We probably shouldn't have given him this much power. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1950 I think nine was one too many.... 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1951 I said you could buy her a bowtie. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1952 Look, we're kidding when we address you as Your Highness. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1953 Sorry, the boots needed new soles 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1954 I think it's time to get a dog 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1955 Maybe we shouldn't have named him "Rex." 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1956 Hopefully now he'll stop scratching the couch 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1957 We're concerned this career move is a bit unrealistic. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1958 Well, what did you expect when you gave him the throne? 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1959 We have to stop feeding him Fancy Feast. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1960 `Trying to emulate that orange, wanna be dictator you see on tv does not make you president of this house." 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1961 Please we are begging to know; which one of us do you like better? 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1962 Being a fat cat is overrated. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1963 You're here and the mice still play. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1964 We really do live in an era where pussy is king. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1965 You mean we have to put up with him 9 more lifetimes 1.2069 0.07279 58 50 4 4
1966 Well, it is the cat's world. We're just allowed to live in it. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1967 I can't believe he ate the whole thing! 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1968 Define rescue. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1969 Bootsie, we are not your servants. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1970 If it please Your Highness, I could go get the laser pointer. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1971 We should never have let him watch "The Lion King." 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1972 I don't even want to think of what he will be in his next life! 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1973 We pick up the new puppy tomorrow. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1974 So, tell us again how you think you actually won the popular vote even after your coronation. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1975 King Mittens still looks catatonic. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1976 I asked for a Kit Kat Bar, not a King Cat Czar. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1977 Maybe we should have had that child instead. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1978 Dear, could I be queen for a day? 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1979 He said that now that he's in his eighth life he wants to turn over some of his royal responsibilities to us. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
1980 It's like entertaining royalty without the pomp. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1981 After receiving the cat ancestry results: "He's really taking this whole Cornish Rex thing very seriously" 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1982 We know about the catnip. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1983 Did he just tell us to bend the knee?? 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1984 Seems like purring after praise is exhausting. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1985 I think we're stuck with him. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1986 I think all the fancy feast has gone to his head 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1987 I think there's something in that new Trump brand cat food. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
1988 We ARE sitting. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
1989 No one can replace her. When her time comes, we'll have to form a republic. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1990 I think your obsession with Game of Thrones has gotten a little out of hand. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
1991 Chicken or fish, my liege 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
1992 No, the mice cannot come over to play. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
1993 We're sending you to catnip rehab! 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
1994 We thought if we told you right away, you'll have nine whole months to get use to it. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
1995 The vet's narrowed it down to menarche or monarchy. 1.2034 0.07163 59 51 4 4
1996 Apparently it's the new 'cat's pajamas' according to the vet. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
1997 I can think the Instagram success has gone to his head. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
1998 Maybe Your Majesty wasn't such a great name Dear... 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
1999 The vet says we should not allow him to watch any more Trump press conferences 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2000 She finds our cat box humiliating. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2001 You have to stop watching the Lion King. It's not good for your self esteem. 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
2002 Since he got the part, he's impossible to live with. 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
2003 Fret not! The catnip will be here within the hour! 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2004 I could have him declawed but never dethroned. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2005 Yes, it was your turn, but now its Richard's turn 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2006 As s long as we give her catnip and Caesar's liver she doesn't destroy our curtains. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2007 Let's call him Donald. 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
2008 You can be Old King Cole in your next life. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2009 I promise he won't be too much trouble. He cleans up after himself and he won't eat your food. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2010 Fat cats always lean to the right 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2011 It’s time to talk about the dog. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2012 I'll say it one more time. Wild-caught, not farm-raised. 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
2013 I don't care what you think ... he's not spoiled. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2014 We're sorry Vermont said they don't need a king. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2015 To think he was once a pure- bred, lean, mean, mouse-killing machine. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2016 At dawn Ralph and I will be taking you to a place of our choosing, and thereupon and at such time you will be hung by the neck until you are dead. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2017 Smile, we found your Boots. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2018 She just heard Trump has a pussy. 1.2034 0.07560 59 52 2 5
2019 You keep telling me my pussy rules. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2020 Henry needs an heir. 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
2021 Your Highness, our whole situation is Catastrophic. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2022 As you can see, he was disappointed in the court jester. 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
2023 Sorry, you were a sweet little kitten when we named you 'Fluffernutter' 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2024 No, YOU grab the pussy 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
2025 I'm thinking it's time we broke the news to the Emperor. Again. 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
2026 He says bow the knee or kiss the curtains goodbye. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2027 Now this is strong evidence of a royal catnipshin. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
2028 Really, "off with their heads" is all you can say for yourself? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
2029 Rex next door says royalty or not, he will continue to chase you. 1.2000 0.06389 50 41 8 1
2030 Yet he still maintains that the election was "fixed". 1.2000 0.07059 55 47 5 3
2031 Don't act like you swallowed the canary with us. 1.2000 0.07338 40 33 6 1
2032 Now I see why you named our kitty, "trumpy" 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2033 We wanted you to know that Parliament has elected a Prime Minister, and the breeder is bringing him tomorrow. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
2034 Heavy is the head that ate my whole apple pie. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2035 I keep telling you, dogs have Owners, cats have Slaves. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2036 There are just some character flaws that courture can't overcome. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2037 That's not what the "King of the Jungle" looked like online. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2038 The jester doesn't make house calls. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2039 We gave him "Royal" brand catnip. I thought "side affects" was just a misprint on the the warning label. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2040 Perhaps we've been too indulgent... 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2041 Now can we bury him? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2042 We should never have named him "King".... 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2043 Looks like the crown is going to his head. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2044 And how do you feline about that? 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2045 Sorry bub but when you left the jungle the rules changed. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2046 I tried... the mice refuse to bend the knee. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2047 Your father and I wanted you to know...you're adopted. 1.1964 0.07394 56 49 3 4
2048 Well, OK then. Why don't we start with your mother. 1.1964 0.07394 56 49 3 4
2049 We're sorry, but this is the biggest throne we could afford. Really. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2050 Iams what Iams. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2051 Sire, is there not one royal feather toy worth holding onto? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2052 Well, aren't you the cutest little tyrant. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2053 Yes, even the king has to use the litter box. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2054 He won't eat unless I address him as 'sire.' 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2055 The other cats ignored you? 1.1964 0.07821 56 50 1 5
2056 Look, we understand how to you our one bedroom apartment may seem like a castle. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2057 Some bad news, Caesar. Seth is leaving and I'm trading you in for a gecko. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2058 Now that we've got this settled, where do we stand on that hamster I've been wanting? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2059 We want to discuss your attitude. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2060 Hail The Lying King! 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2061 OK, your meow-jesty. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2062 His analyst suggests we try more groveling, less pampering. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2063 The cat in the hat sat for a chat 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2064 We weren't talking about actually getting a dog. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2065 The King of the Beasts needs his litter box changed. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2066 Ohh, poor little kitty. You must be so tired after that long phone call with the president of Mexico. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2067 This is no ordinary lethargy. Only yesterday he was singing Cole Porter. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2068 Don't worry; Game of Thrones may still have an Andrew Lloyd Webber finale. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2069 He's torn between 'CATS' and 'Lion King' 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2070 I just can't ignore the cat in the room. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2071 Well the weather forecast did say it's reigning cats and dogs. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2072 Don't give up on us Boswell, we're trying hard to find you the right food. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2073 Can you imagine if he were an outdoor cat? 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2074 Your "King of the Jungle" needs to diet. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2075 Think she was one of the pussies grabbed by Trump? 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2076 We thought you knew king was just your name 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2077 Can you please go catch him a mouse? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2078 "It's Daddy's turn to be the King". 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2079 We serve at his pleasure but there's no pleasing him 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2080 Blame the media all you want, but they're the ones who made you a fat cat in the first place. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2081 Of course she's upset. She just ate all of her heirs. 1.1964 0.07394 56 49 3 4
2082 No, it can’t always be ‘spur of the moment,’ but we’ll be your opposable thumbs—we’ll tweet for you. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2083 At our request, parliament also adopted a no kitties on the counter rule. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2084 He had the computer mouse for dinner. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2085 Not my King! 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2086 The emperor prefers no clothes. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2087 He was thin and shy until his video went viral. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2088 Darling, do you think Puss is getting too big for her own boots ? 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2089 Your Majesty, the mice are rebelling and we are running out of tuna. What do you wish us to do? 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2090 The White House is nice, Your Majesty. When can we go to Meow A Lago? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2091 We're out of mice. Will robins do? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2092 We told you it was going to be hard being king. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2093 But the residuals from his kitten videos keep coming in. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2094 Maybe if we elevated the throne? 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2095 ...and that's the reason you haven't produced an heir. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2096 How could anyone not be a cat person? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2097 I thought we agreed we were just getting him neutered 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2098 Pussy says you grabbed her. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2099 It's a House cat. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2100 We both sincerely apologize for calling you a royal pain. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2101 I don't think he realized that being royal would be so exhausting. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2102 Never in a million years did I think I'd end up as a cat counseling major. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2103 He's finally dressing the part! 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2104 How do we break it to him that he is a co-equal third branch of this family? 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2105 Think of it as the heirball to the throne. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2106 When he gets to know you, you can crawl forward - slowly - with head bowed. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2107 So nobody ever told you about the French Revolution, your Highness? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2108 Your meow is my demand. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2109 I'm not pussy whipped. 1.1964 0.07394 56 49 3 4
2110 We see you've mastered the Feline Recline. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2111 He hasn't been the same since we let him watch Lion King. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2112 I'm sorry King Fluffy. When I called you 'Princess' I meant it as a term of endearment. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2113 I told you not to start feeding him Fancy Feast. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2114 Puss in Boots is one thing, but wearing a crown, draped in a cloak and lounging on a throne is quite another. What were you thinking of? A subject for Jeff Koons? 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2115 She's been like this ever since I told her that 'Queen for a Day' went off the air years ago. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2116 OK, more foie gras and deli turkey it will be then. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2117 He says, "Now is the winter of our discontent. Rub my tummy." 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2118 Sorry, sire. You've executed the last of the dogs. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2119 It's good to be the cat 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2120 Get over it - you'll have eight more abdications. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2121 The vet thinks we spoil him. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2122 Um, how many lives do you have left? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2123 We should have stopped when you were president. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2124 What do you mean we're just "fake news"? 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2125 You're not fat and lazy. That's fake mews. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2126 Do you think his diet is too rich? 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2127 We got rid of the dog. Can't we keep the kids? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2128 So Fritz, today we'd like to talk to you about empty nest syndrome. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2129 I thought he'd be happy once we got rid of the dog. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2130 I'm afraid that naming him 'Donald' was a big mistake. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2131 He lives the puuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect life. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2132 His ascension was so sudden. I had no idea Queenie was on her last life. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2133 It all started when we bought him that iPad. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2134 Ah,don't fret, you'll always be king in our jungle. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2135 Leo, we just know you're going to love having a little human baby brother. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2136 Sorry, but no more Fancy Feast. We're putting you back on Meow Mix. 1.1964 0.07394 56 49 3 4
2137 YOU wanted to name him Louis. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2138 But honey, I'm sure your real mother loves you just as much as we do. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2139 I told you he was a British Shorthair 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2140 Noble, yes, but lazy. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2141 Isn't he taking this Ser Pounce thing a bit far? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2142 Canned or raw? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2143 We need to talk about you laissez-faire approach to the litter box. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2144 She's completely conquered us and now she's bored. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2145 No, David, the lawyers were adamant, under Aunt Agatha's will Queenie owns everything. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2146 He is probably thinking this place is a dump. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2147 Maybe a seatbelt would help. 1.1964 0.07394 56 49 3 4
2148 We're here to serve you. We get it. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2149 We should have gone with the dog jester 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2150 This isn't what we meant when we asked you to 'go medieval' on the mice. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2151 How exhausting it must be to preside over an entire kingdom that's aloof. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2152 This all started when you insisted on that damn organic catnip from the farmer's market. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2153 A dog? This will be the downfall of the Persian Empire! 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2154 It looks like his princely duties are taking a toll. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2155 Dogs have masters, cats have servants 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2156 This is what happens when you put pussy on a pedestal. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2157 Despite your decree you still have to use the littler box. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2158 I don't want a second cat, either, but we're gonna need a Brutus. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2159 Now that he's cornered the entire catnip market he's completely lost all motivation. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2160 Don't despair, dear -- there MUST be someone else you can fire. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2161 Did we catch ennui, or were we born with it? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2162 I think we better cut off (s)he from Game Of Thrones 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2163 I will just have you two refer to me from now on as the greatest American fat cat ever. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2164 No! It's against the Constitution! 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2165 I think the mouse catching has gone to his head. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2166 There are lots of 'kings of the jungle', but you're the only king of the apartment. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2167 He took this rat king thing way too seriously. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2168 The vet told him he has no clothes that's what's up with him. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2169 I liked your kangaroo get-up better. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2170 At least he doesn't spray anymore 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2171 The President called. He needs another fat cat in his Cabinet. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2172 I said "vermin," but Rex heard "ermine." 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2173 We're getting a dog. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2174 I'm starting to miss the mice. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2175 Bring me the dog's head. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2176 The power (and the catnip) have clearly gone to his head. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2177 Maybe being king of the cats is not all it's made out to be. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2178 He really guilted me after the neutering. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2179 We felt you should be the fist to know, I am pregnant 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2180 You were totally right - "Taxidermy On A Throne" was the way to go. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2181 So, only sushi-grade fish, medium-rare steak and filtered water? Did I miss anything? 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2182 Matthew's only coming home for a week. Then it's right back to school with him, I promise. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2183 Some merry old soul ! 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2184 As your therapist, I feel your inability to purr is do to a lack of contentment. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2185 Don't worry your highness. When we say FIX, nothing of yours is broke. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2186 Maybe we should try Craigs List. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2187 The ennui set in after the 7th life 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2188 The vet said his Lion King delusions will pass with time. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2189 Peel me a mouse, naves 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2190 We give him a reward for catching six mice and it goes right to his head. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2191 Dogs and politicians all banished! Are you happy now? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2192 Abdication? Well yes, the dog has been waiting for years. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2193 Please forgive us, the foot stool is on it's way! 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2194 There is just no pleasing him. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2195 Well, OK. But you two have to walk it, and keep it off our bed. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2196 Should we skip 'Game of Thrones' this week? 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2197 I'm not saying I don't like your cat Howard; I'm saying all kings are foes of the men they rule. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2198 Trust me. Odds are, he'll go slumming all night, and you'll never see him again. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2199 We never should have rented "The Lion King." 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2200 From reality TV star to, well, TV reality. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2201 Your Majesty, may I suggest "ennui" is insufficient cause to desert your mousing duties? 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2202 I thought this would be funny, but it really isn't. 1.1964 0.07394 56 49 3 4
2203 Must be the THC-infused catnip. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2204 How many mice does he expect us to catch?! 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2205 They say he won the popular vote. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2206 We're getting a divorce. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2207 I knew naming her 'Princess' was a risk. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2208 No more 'Game of Thrones' for you, Mr. Whiskers! 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2209 I told you we should have had him fixed. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2210 Spoiled? I don't know what you mean. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2211 I'm glad to see it's a working vacation. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2212 Do you think we've spoiled Mr Fluffington? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2213 No...we really mean it. We are blessed and privileged to have the honor of feeding you and changing your litter. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2214 Boots? Really? 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2215 Maybe we should cut off his "Fancy Feast" and go back to "Friskies". 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2216 It's our fault. The shelter told us he was a bit demanding. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2217 The Fancy Feast has really gone to his head. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2218 He says it's 'for a podcast.' 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2219 We're concerned about how your growing Insta-fame is affecting your attitude around here, Mittens. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2220 We should never have named him 'Henry VIII'. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2221 We shouldn't have put the Imperial margarine on his tuna. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2222 I told you cats can be a royal pain... 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2223 It's no use, the Queen has always liked dogs. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2224 "It's a dog-eat-dog world" is just an expression! They aren't planning a coup. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2225 Could we be contributing to his insolence and pomposity 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2226 "Everything was going great, The Castle, Harem, Gold Treasures......Then she left me for a common house cat and got it all! 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2227 I still think a dog would have been more work. 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
2228 We're thinking of getting a puppy. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2229 He's depressed - the litter was all female which means 9 royal weddings an no heir. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2230 Well, the Egyptians did treat them like royalty. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
2231 Muffin, Tom and I would like to sleep together tonight ... without you. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2232 Oh, stop being such a big pussy and royal pain-in-the-ass! 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2233 We need to talk to you about your cattidute. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
2234 What if I warm your milk AND make John here deliver it in crystal? 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
2235 His father was in real estate. He's never scratched or clawed for anything. 1.1961 0.06275 51 42 8 1
2236 My kingdom for a sandbox right about now. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
2237 This is a declaration of our independence 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2238 Sorry, Martha Washington ended up naming her cat after someone else. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2239 Listen, can we just get you a twitter account? 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
2240 Ok, I'll clean the litter box. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2241 He's been like this ever since watching that "King of the Jungle" special on the Nature Channel. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2242 Better do as he says or he'll take us to obedience school again. 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
2243 I am sorry, I refuse to call him the meow-narch 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2244 I suggested a DNA test, but he said it wasn't necessary. 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
2245 But its good to be king! 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
2246 Maybe we shouldn’t have named our kitty Donald. 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
2247 It looks like "King Putty Tat" has been in the liquor cabinet again. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2248 Cat's people. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
2249 Dog people are so emotionally needy. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2250 The "millennial" breed name should have tipped us off. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
2251 Kings can't be pussies 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
2252 So what if you're not king of the jungle - isn't it enough to be king of our hearts? 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
2253 What is love without respect? And what is respect without three cans of tuna? 1.1897 0.07153 58 51 3 4
2254 Now he wants to be President! 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2255 It is real ermine, I swear. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2256 We're petitioning for parliamentary representation. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2257 Your Majesty, the Royal Box is now ready for occupation. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2258 We know it was your whisker on the salmon. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2259 We just put you on the wet, wild-caught salmon food two weeks ago and now you hate it? Maybe we would try the baked, farm-raised chicken again... 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2260 I told you if you fed him Fancy Feast he'd get delusions of grandeur. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2261 Too many mice? 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
2262 I thought it was "Heavy is the head"? 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2263 See, this is what happens when you let him sleep in the bed. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2264 It's your turn to change the Royal Litter Box. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2265 He thinks we'll send him to Washington with the other fat cats. 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
2266 Yes, we are having a baby. Please don't worry, you will always the queen. 1.1887 0.07156 53 46 4 3
2267 We're sorry, but Fancy Feast is just a brand. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2268 No, he said "L'état", not "Le chat c'est moi." 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2269 your father and I think it's time to back off Game of Thrones for a while. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2270 Guess what? You're just about to have a new little sister! 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2271 I told you we shouldn't have switched him to wet food. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2272 We've decided to get a dog. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2273 We both love your, I'm so Trump thing, but in reality you're just a pussy. 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
2274 I'm not Steve Bannon. I'm not trying to suck my own cock. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2275 Release the dog. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2276 Gosh, you really do treat your pets like royalty. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2277 We switched to clumping litter, Your Majesty. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2278 I think that we've overdone the praise 1.1887 0.07156 53 46 4 3
2279 We're sorry... we understand that you think you make all the rules... 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2280 I'm pregnant. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2281 Honey, it's time to buy that dog. 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
2282 As it should be. 1.1887 0.07156 53 46 4 3
2283 I know, you know, everyone knows I'm just a figurehead. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2284 Heavy is the head that wears a crown. 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
2285 This isn't the pussy I was talking about, Devin. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2286 He's been like this ever since I explained that his executive authority has been curtailed. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2287 Maybe it would be easier to have a real child? 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
2288 But you can't be a prince to everyone. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2289 Of course this is Your Kingdom but-- it's just not possible to deport All Dogs 1.1887 0.07156 53 46 4 3
2290 WE'RE TRYING, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A FERAL VIRGIN! 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2291 You cannot keep living beyond your memes. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2292 Please, can we keep him? 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2293 I tried treating him as an equal, but as you can see that didn't turn out well. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2294 Do you think we should tell him , He is not revered here like he was in Egypt 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
2295 What makes you think this is a cartoon? 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2296 But will people watching YouTube think it's funny? 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2297 Do you think we are spoiling him? 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2298 Where are his boots? 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2299 Hey, so you killed one mouse, that's your job! 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2300 Are you sure it's just the catnip? 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2301 Please, we promise we'll be back in just a week. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
2302 I wish we had a dog. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2303 Your majesty, the new neighbors, they have a dog. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2304 Let's just admit that he's dead. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2305 But your highness- "pause" for a moment- your feline family doesn't know or even care that you have five paws!" 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2306 He just couldn't wait to be king 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2307 Even though you are orange, there can only be one Trump 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
2308 He just found out that being Top Cat means nothing. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2309 We both know he rules the apartment. I got the crown and robe on sale. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2310 Instead of bird tweets, shouldn't your focus be a veterinary healthcare agenda, Mr. Trumpster? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
2311 Bring me Hasenpfeffer! 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
2312 Things were going so well until he said "You're Fired." 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
2313 Yes, eating that margarine will put a crown on your head, but it will also make you very fat. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
2314 We never should have switched to wet food... 1.1852 0.07031 54 47 4 3
2315 Who knew that ruling a Kingdom could be so complicated? 1.1852 0.07031 54 47 4 3
2316 I guess ruling this house is a lot of work. 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2317 If you grant us permission to have a child, please lick your right forepaw. 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2318 Felix found out he had been surgically altered before he became of age. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2319 What a terrible era in which idiots govern the cat. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2320 Before I met you, I kissed a frog. This is the prince I got. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2321 He prefers Mousse to Mice! 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2322 I'm starting to question your theories about the line of succession. 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2323 How many YouTube views? 1.1852 0.07511 54 48 2 4
2324 We shouldn't have let him watch Trump on TV yesterday. 1.1852 0.07031 54 47 4 3
2325 Maybe we should have had that baby. 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
2326 I told you MrWhiskers was a weak password for the HBO 1.1852 0.07511 54 48 2 4
2327 I think that just about says it all. 1.1852 0.07031 54 47 4 3
2328 Do you think we spoil the cat? 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2329 Yet another pretentious cat! 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2330 Well perhaps if we moved her litter box closer to the throne. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2331 Most cats would be satisfied just having their picture posted on Facebook. 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
2332 Ok this proves it; he does rule our house. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2333 I thought his "throne" was the litter box in the bathroom. 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2334 Do you think we might have over pampered him 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2335 Ok, now that we've all calmed down a bit, let's try to figure out why Mr.Peepers may have flown away...... 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2336 Honey, Lion King is just "Make Believe" 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2337 In retrospect, I think I'm a dog person. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2338 so you don't need to feel threatened that you're going to have a baby brother. 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2339 The breeder said she was a queen, but I thought he just meant she hadn't been fixed. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2340 But there are so many adorable heirs at the shelter who need a home. 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
2341 Thanks Obama 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
2342 We're thinking about selling the house. 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
2343 The dogs have been taken care of, your highness. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
2344 I was so sure that our video would go viral that I forgot his scepter. 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
2345 I'm sorry, but I just don't think this will be the right answer to our rat problem. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
2346 We need to talk about the litter throne, King Mittens. 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
2347 Sorry, Boots. CASH is king. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
2348 A new Chief of Staff is in... 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
2349 This is what always happens to the Prince of Tails when the old Queen won't abdicate. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
2350 She's binge watching The Crown this week. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
2351 Do you think this might be a good time to ask for a raise? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
2352 Maybe you'd like to go out and grab a little pussy! 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
2353 It sure is tough when you are a fat cat and encounter a top dog! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
2354 We're sorry. Only humans can have superiority complexes. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
2355 Let's call her 'Ivanka.' 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
2356 Was that belly scratch satisfactory? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
2357 Kings don't sit like that. How do we know you're telling us the truth? 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2358 He's been like this since the Miceacarta was signed 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2359 I think he has seen Lion King one too many times... 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
2360 No, the Napoleon Complex is a thing 1.1800 0.06815 50 43 5 2
2361 Uneasy lies the head... 1.1800 0.06815 50 43 5 2
2362 He's been watching too much Fox News. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
2363 The kingdom next door says you may have some heirs. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
2364 We shouldn't have named him Cole. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
2365 He thinks he's entitled on an evolutionary basis. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
2366 You know, maybe we should have a kid after all. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
2367 It's good to be king---meow......... 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
2368 Clever idea, hon, but he still needs cat litter. 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
2369 His shit still stinks, you know. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2370 We warned you that heavy is the head that wears the crown. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2371 Don't be angry, I promise we will get the Royal Treats tomorrow! 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2372 This has gotten out of hand. The vet warned us about spoiling Rex and what it would lead to. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2373 I told you we should have gotten him neutered. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2374 No. It's King of the Jungle. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2375 We should do something about our reaction to her personality. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2376 I hate to bring you bad news, sir. But, it's time to get neutered. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2377 Its all just a bit much 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2378 You love her more than me, Hal. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2379 He's been like this since we switched to Royal Canin Cat Food. He just lies around, dressed in this ridiculous get up, and he insists that I test his food. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2380 I'm afraid he over indulged at the coronation celebration 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2381 Well Ken, I suppose you have proven yourself to be quite purr-suasive 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2382 We, too, are happy that your outer cat matches your inner cat. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2383 Honey, you don't think we're spoiling him, do you? 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2384 You do realize we can't afford kids now. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2385 The Emperor has no kitty litter 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2386 He really didn't need all the trappings to prove hos point. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2387 I knew he wouldn't be happy being King. He wants to be the Supreme Being! 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2388 So your audition for "Game of Thrones" went bad, there's always commercials. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2389 OK, Trixie, we've met all your demands. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2390 Lets name him Joffrey, you said. It will be cute, you said. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2391 There, there kitty. Who knew ruling could be so complicated? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2392 It's time we told you what happens to Joffrey. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2393 Yes Felix he does have the same hair colour as you and yes he is the President. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2394 Well, yes. Being a god would be a little better than being a king. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2395 Rex is very literal. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2396 Mr. Whiskers, it's time to discuss curtailing some of your spending habits. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2397 I'm glad we decided not to have children 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2398 We should have been dog people. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2399 Stop feeding his delusions of grandeur dear. Bad enough we've got a president who thinks he's king. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2400 He's a real cat's cat. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2401 First of all, this isn't the Jungle. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2402 He requests that you make him laugh. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2403 Would it be okay if we had a child? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2404 We're not tasting your food. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2405 His name is Duke, and he will be staying with us for a while... 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2406 He thinks he's the cat's meow. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2407 Do you think Mr. Kibbles is watching too much Game of Thrones? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2408 Remind me again why we shouldn't have kids. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2409 Sorry Your Majesty but you can't have a chocolate souffle - you're a carnivore. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2410 We should have never named him "Majesty". 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2411 I told you we shouldn't have bought him the throne. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2412 Don't let that one mouse you caught go to your head. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2413 He's docile now, but you should see what happens when I turn off Fox News. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2414 Yes, Your Majkitty. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2415 ...and that's why we named you "Ennui". 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2416 Whose idea was the crown? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2417 Just tell us why you banished the owl. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2418 Too much googling again. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2419 Lord Biggelsworth has informed me we'll be sleeping on the cat bed tonight. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2420 Your Highness, why don't you try an energy drink. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2421 We can't agree who gets you in the divorce so we are making you part of the home sale. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2422 For the last time, we're not going to get you a mouse, and we're not your subjects. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2423 Ok, we promise. In your next life the dogs will lose. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2424 So, it's not the jungle. But it is all you survey. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2425 So . . . we're changing your name. We think we made a mistake naming you "Rex". 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2426 Absolute cat power corrupts absolutely 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2427 We agree to serve you but we draw the line at 'royal tasters.' 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2428 Would you like some milk to go with your caviar? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2429 He's a terrible king. But he's just so cute. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2430 Well, at least you're one up on Prince Charles. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2431 We switched to canned food. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2432 Buying her that crown was a catastrophe! 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2433 King Catzilla's reign will end soon. He's on his ninth life. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2434 I'm disapointed, it still smells like a litter box. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2435 It's your fault. You named him Trump. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2436 What is it we can do to live up to your unrealistic expectations? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2437 His Majesty's Loyal Subjects make The Humble Request to tell us what flavor cat food you'll agree to eat! 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2438 Who knew ruling could be so hard? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2439 Loyal subjects? Realm of your kingdom? No, your owners, our living room, and end to your game of throne. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2440 It all began when he decided to make the dining area great again. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2441 Well duh, I see the resemblance, I just think in 10 years we'll be sorry if we name him Trump 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2442 He just walked in, sat down, and hasn't said a thing for hours. I hope he's okay. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2443 Let's have children and re-align our priorities. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2444 THAT'S the new king of the beasts? 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2445 This is how he gets when he is about to issue a decree. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2446 There was no easy way for us to say that you were adopted. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2447 Let's call him Senator 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2448 No, we won't bring the litter box "directly to the throne as needed." 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2449 Humans always need so much attention. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2450 But he's already president. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2451 Is our little King of the Beasts glum this morning? 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2452 He began acting this way about the time the dog disappeared. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2453 Would you consider a constitutional monarchy at the very least? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2454 You're not a king and this is not the jungle. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2455 Kings don't eat catnip to excess. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2456 I told you Trump was a poor choice of name. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2457 We're quite aware that you're not our best friend, Sire. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2458 It appears the sickly King Snowball VIII will soon become King Snowball IX. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2459 Okay fine, maybe I did mother him too much. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2460 I know the divorce has been tough on you, but let's hear what Sprinkles has to say. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2461 We told you to go easy on the catnip. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2462 We wanted you to be old enough, so that you could understand. Henry, you were adopted. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2463 I think we should cancel her subscription to "Human Psychology". 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2464 Will his Majesty at least chase a few mice? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2465 King of the Hill? Nope, Duke of the Dumpster. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2466 We're saving the furniture. If it never reigns, it paws. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2467 He even told me I wasn't worthy of wet food. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2468 At least the dog won the popular vote. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2469 Yes, you're the king! But no one is losing their head! 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2470 I wonder what the cat is thinking tonight. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2471 Well, if you're going to take it like that, maybe you shouldn't be watching Game of Thrones. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2472 Listen up......We're going to stop buying your damned boots. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2473 We should try making him feel relevant again. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2474 You know,I'm thinking maybe I would like to get pregnant. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2475 Do you think the Vet is right when he says we're enabling hum? 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2476 He says 'Fritzie' is all over, and from now on, it's 'Cat King Cole.' 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2477 Looks like you had a full day. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2478 It was a mistake letting him watch that Lion King DVD. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2479 Queen for a Day obviously isn't working. Let's try Make a Deal. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2480 Yes, it's true. You were adopted. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2481 Has anyone even talked to the dog about all of this? 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2482 Love it 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2483 The kitty litter has been replaced with gold dust as you requested, your Highness. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2484 He logged on to ancestor.com and found out that he comes from royalty. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2485 Shouldn't we get her a bigger throne? After all, that was the biggest New York Rat I've ever seen and we live next to Trump Tower. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2486 She's pondering abdication 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2487 OK ... a purple velvet scratching post is going too far! 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2488 Is this what they mean by 'Wag the dog?' 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2489 Bob and I are getting a dog - for us 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2490 As first Valet de Chambre, you get to clean his litter box. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2491 At least it has kept him off the couch. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2492 I guess, like Donald Trump, he found being a monarch is not so easy 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2493 Catpeople are still people, Snuggles. And we demand certain liberties. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2494 Your faithful subjects are here, you majesty. What is your bidding? 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2495 I'm sure the Lannisters will be delighted to hear news of your allegiance. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2496 He's hoping to get the White House gig 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2497 You'll always be our little prince, but we're getting a divorce. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2498 You're old enough now to know the truth. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2499 You actually told people he has no clothes? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2500 I think he's depressed about the political situation. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2501 Ok honey...I think the catnip is kicking in! 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2502 Sorry, your majesty, but neutering just can't be reversed. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2503 I know, I know, we voted for Trump too. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2504 Maybe if you tried to just talk to him, I mean really talk. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2505 Well..he did say the fat cats were taking over. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2506 Let's call him Donald. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2507 I know its not Westeros, but the Upper West Side isn't bad. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2508 When you come from a shelter, you can't have heirs. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2509 I know it's deflating when your subjects ignore you, but you'll always be king in our house. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2510 Are you sure he is supposed to behave like this? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2511 I love Leo, but I think the "King of the Beasts" should be significantly larger. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2512 It looks like he has become tired of being the King. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2513 The dog will no longer be a problem; we are still working on the child 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2514 It's your fault for naming him Rex. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2515 He's been like this ever since the presidential inauguration. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2516 maybe he needs a queen. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2517 At least he can't tweet! 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2518 The vet said feline insecurity cases were rare but this should help. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2519 It's simple really. He's demanding a loyalty oath or security will escort you out. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2520 Dr. he felt invincible and then called the New Yorker 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2521 I think we should just have a kid. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2522 Please try to understand. We loved your gift, but that chipmunk's innards were starting to smell. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2523 If it pleases your majesty, dinner will be served after the cleaning of the royal poo box and the removal of the hairballs from the red carpet. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2524 We can’t leave the TV on these 24 hour news channels anymore when we leave. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2525 No, I think Edward needs to hear this as this concerns him. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2526 It's really O.K. you're a cat, not a lion. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2527 You have to accept that Game of Thrones is just a TV show. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2528 We need help. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2529 Neither one of us thinks the robe makes you look fat. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2530 For a moment I thought it was a toad stool. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2531 He's left us no options, we have to stage a coup. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2532 We decided to enforce a tuna ban. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2533 He wants a Twitter account. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2534 We should have neutered him when we had the chance. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2535 The taxidermist did a wonderful job with Prince. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2536 He is still a bit depressed, should we get him a taller chair? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2537 It's still a jungle, just urban. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2538 Kids would be easier. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2539 How will you solve this problem with North Korea? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2540 It's time for your highness' pill. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2541 He saw your Ancestry report. He knows you're Egyptian. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2542 Let's name her 'Catleesi, Queen of Felines, Ruler of Mice.' 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2543 So you are changing your name to Cat King Cole? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2544 The catbird seat isn't always what it's cracked up to be. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2545 This is just to remind us that it really is all about him. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2546 This is what we get for letting him watch Garfield. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2547 It could be worse, he could think he's President of the United States. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2548 I thought we were training him to use the porcelain throne. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2549 You know, it's not a crime to abdicate. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2550 Guess we need to brush up on our parenting skills! 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2551 We feel you need more work as our Emotional Support Cat. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2552 He demands our loyalty. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2553 I still don't get why they call me the cat lady. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2554 Please sire, return his tongue. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2555 We've given you what you wanted; now what can you do for us? 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2556 He just binge-watched Game of Thrones. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2557 I believe he wants a Fancy Feast. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2558 Who's going to tell him, you or me? 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2559 Now get the nail clipper. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2560 Heavy is the meow that wears the crown. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2561 And when you grow up, you can be King of all the jungle. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2562 Okay, but no more sushi. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2563 And I want Trump in big gold letters on the outside of my litter box. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2564 I blame false praise. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2565 'Our catnip source left town, can we interest you in never frozen Alaskan salmon?' 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2566 We really are getting a dog. That isn't fake news. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2567 Still less work than a baby... 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2568 I know he is a dictator, but he is a benevolent dictator. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2569 We hate to tell you this, but it was a fake mouse. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2570 There's been a coup de cat. Hand over the crown. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2571 And we would like you to be more accurate when using the Royal Litter Box. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2572 Maybe we're dog people? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2573 Now, this throne feels purrfect. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2574 I just figured we might as well embrace it. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2575 We’re all here together because we want you to accept our help, your highness. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2576 Has he always reacted to Fancy Feast in this manner? 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2577 You give them everything and they're still not satisfied... 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2578 After she gives birth, determining succession will not be easy. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2579 Who knew? A eunuch king. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2580 Hey , what can we do to cheer up our dear leader?...do you think a new pussy will do? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2581 Maybe we're spoiling him? 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2582 Do you think a scepter will make him sit properly? 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2583 There's no easy way to tell you, I'm pregnant... 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2584 We concede. You do rule the roost! 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2585 Maybe the king is never wrong, but at least the king uses the litter box. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2586 It's about that stupid box. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2587 I call him "King of the Studio Apartment in a 5th Floor Walk Up in a Concrete Jungle." 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2588 "Gay Paree"? They stole my boots at the airport! 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2589 Clearly your king of the castle was never mentioned in your profile. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2590 Honey, I think you've misconstrued some of my dirty talk. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2591 So Maestro, you are the cat that ate the rat, somehow I thought you would not let it go to your head ! 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2592 Tough day, Princess? 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2593 We're having a baby so we'll be needing that crown back. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2594 Company's coming, Your Highness. We need you to go incognito for the afternoon. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2595 Dad, I really don't think we should name him Napoleon. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2596 Sorry I was catty this morning, Your Grace. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2597 It's just easier this way. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2598 What do mean "Royal Canin"is just a marketing brand? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2599 I know what's the problem, Lovey. The crown's too heavy, isn't it? 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2600 It would be half so bad if she'd just acknowledge us once in a while. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2601 Don't you this he's taking this "Emperor's New Clothes" thing a bit too far? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2602 Maybe we should have sent the taxidermist a better picture. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2603 I know cats rule the house but this is ridiculous! 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2604 He's been like this ever since the dog died. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2605 He wants to go back to the alley. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2606 Honey, I thought you locked the liquor cabinet. You know what happens His Majesty mixes his catnip with the bourbon. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2607 I know the doctor said to get a service pet, but I'm not sure this is working. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2608 The taxidermist I took him to is a big Game of Thrones fan. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2609 Checkmate. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2610 not so lonely at top 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2611 As King of the Urban Jungle, I want salmon, toast crusts and tuna for brunch, and I want it NOW. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2612 Don't blame me -- you're the one who gave him a complex! 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2613 I knew I shouldn't have eaten the entire four-and-twenty blackbird pie... 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2614 Your Highness, the pugs are planning a coup. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2615 ....I think she looks more like a 'Hillary' 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2616 I'm not feeling it 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2617 No, we can't keep farm animals in the basement just so you can have fresh food. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2618 But John, we control the popular vote. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2619 When he arrived, he said he was not a politician 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2620 Just because we call you Queenie does not mean you can order us to carry you to the litter box. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2621 We need to talk about your YouTube channel. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2622 We're happy the mouse is gone, but did you have to behead it? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2623 His other throne is a sandbox. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2624 We named you King, but we almost named you Cuddles. Remember that. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2625 Of course, sweetie,all cats use the "royal we" and expect to be served. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2626 But is it 'his' or 'her' royal highness? 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2627 We never should never have taken him to The Lion King. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2628 I'm not sure that he's any happier, but he sure seems to have made it clear that we are his loyal subjects. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2629 Would that be a beck or a call! 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2630 So the domain name, King Tabby, is taken. You'll come up with an even better one. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
2631 Yes, your ancestors were kings of the jungle, but this is the 'burbs'. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
2632 I guess those cat food commercials are real. 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
2633 I don't care how many mice you've caught. We are not launching an assassination attempt against the neighbors' dog. 1.1765 0.07252 51 45 3 3
2634 After King Cole is done with his pipe, you know not to completely fill his bowl! Did you forget? No..., that's why the Pink Floyd and not the Fiddlers Three. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2635 She had 7 kittens. One of them must be a male! 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
2636 We understand it's "good to be the cat," but you still have to use the litter box. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2637 Remember . . . it all started a year ago with that fancy collar, and now we're having to get her freakin' sand from the beach at Monte Carlo. Yes, I think you could definitely say we've spoiled her! 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
2638 Next time let’s just go with a nice urn. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2639 Mommy and daddy are very disappointed in your behavior. Eating Timmy's hamster is a big no thank you. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2640 Sire, the royal litter box is ready. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2641 What if Allen sautes my heart with diced liver and serves it glazed with a light cream sauce? Would that make you happy? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2642 Don't worry, Princess. He won't try to grab my pussy. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2643 Maybe your abdication was a bit hasty,you have three more lives left at least. 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
2644 this came free with the new TV 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2645 I wish you treated me the same way. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2646 Since you're not willing to relocate to an actual jungle, I'm afraid King of the Co-op will just have to do. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
2647 Its just that your pomposity wears us down 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
2648 You've changed after hitting one million followers, Pumpkin. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2649 Yep, I think he's ready. Now we just have to wait 'til the 2020 election. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2650 ...you wanted the sex change and got it, now you can't continue wearing the Queen's crown, you're confusing the children. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2651 I know you're bored, but vanquishing the schnauzer in 3C is ill-advised at this time. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
2652 Are you still absolutely one-hundred percent positive that you want to get a dog? 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
2653 You're the one who insisted on Fancy Feast. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2654 Your name is "Roy," not "Roi." 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
2655 You know what they say... Curiosity killed the humans. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2656 Just so we're clear - there will be no princes or princesses. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
2657 He's a hairless cat! You should never have told him the story of the emperor who had no clothes! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2658 Dave, scratch my belly. Marilyn, collect the taxes. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2659 In retrospect, we probably shouldn't have given him bottled water. 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
2660 Maybe we spoil her. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
2661 He seems to be getting worse since he's been in therapy. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2662 " I'm running low on catnip " ! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2663 You said this would just be a phase. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
2664 It was indeed a tough pageant win! 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
2665 I think she's having one of her First World problems again. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2666 Cats don't have owners, they have subjects! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2667 You know they really are regal animals. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2668 She's gotten everything she's ever wanted, but I draw the line at naming her top dog. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2669 We still have eight lives to go. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
2670 Stop taking my dirty talk literally. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2671 Sorry, Queen Tabby, you'll have to remove the cape in order to use that potty chair. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2672 Cat fights are serious. In our eyes, you won. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2673 I know you don't want to hear this, but it's entirely possible that in your next life you'll be the mouse. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
2674 He not really a king. He just acts like one. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
2675 Maybe he'll act more royal as time goes on. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
2676 He just hasn't been the same since the mice democratized. 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2677 Did you remember to change his highness' chamber pot? 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2678 Your Majesty, your Royal Litter Box is ready. 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2679 Go get the court jester. 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2680 Oh, Jared; I had no idea how hard it was to be king! 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2681 I still think that Rex is a dog's name 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2682 He thinks he's Donald Trump 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2683 Yes, but were going to empty your litter box anyway. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2684 I don't care, this is not better than having kids. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2685 I say no more of that roasted swan with savory greens. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2686 But you went as a pirate last year! 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2687 Phil, I think we need an intervention for Mr. Furry Pants. 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2688 Your Highness, your royal kitty litter is ready. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2689 I don't like cats and now I know why. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2690 It's time for the royal de-worming. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2691 "And you want us to have kids"? 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2692 Kings roar - that was a meow. You're a CAT! 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2693 I told you not to give him so much Fancy Feast. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2694 Can we ever be more than servants, Your Highness? 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2695 Cheer up, after The Orange One you'll reign again. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2696 All he really wanted was a catnip mouse. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2697 "I think we need to call Animal Planet"! 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2698 Pipe, bowl, fiddlers three and still a sense of ennui. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2699 Even the queen of England would lack dignity with this pose. 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2700 This "high and mighty" attitude has gone too far. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2701 Don't worry, Jingles, having to poop in a box doesn't make you any less of a king. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2702 I never thought I'd go along with this crazy taxidermy idea of yours, but it really does feel like Squeezles is still with us! 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2703 You may polish my crown and you may clean the royal box. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2704 You fixed me so I can't make an heir, so no children for you. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2705 So you think that your king for a day? 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2706 So Pussycat, Pussycat I guess you did more than just look at the Queen 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2707 I guess there are some jewels you just can't replace. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2708 You shouldn't have given him that last daiquiri 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2709 Do you think we need to take away his catnip? 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2710 His weight has finally justified the royal plural. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2711 OK we are totally listening to you. So how does it feel ruling the World ? 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
2712 He's discovered that the seat of power isn't an Easy Chair! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
2713 I forgot to turn of National Geographic when I left this morning 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2714 Do you think we're treating him too much like royalty? 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2715 He wants gold litter. 1.1667 0.07493 48 43 2 3
2716 It's time for a dog. 1.1667 0.07493 48 43 2 3
2717 We know. You ate the whole Whopper. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2718 I'm not sold on the name The Donald. 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2719 How could you have put catnip on my favorite pillow? 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2720 I am going to ask you one more time, when do you last see the puppy? 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2721 I'm guessing he's been binge watching while we're out. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2722 But cats don't have a President. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2723 I have to admit we have a lot more fun now that he's dead. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2724 Yes, we do think you're royalty. But Rex and King are dogs' names. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2725 We shouldn't have named him Rex. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2726 Let's stop letting him watch cable news unsupervised. 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
2727 I told you the cat has an attitude! 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2728 Shouldn't we run the family meetings? 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2729 'Honey, you have to tell him. He's not the king of the jungle.' 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2730 He's a little more benevolent now that he's older. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
2731 Despite this constant negative puss, catfefe. 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
2732 Your grace, please regale us of your laser pointer conquests once more. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
2733 Always remember...cats rule! 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
2734 Now do you see we know our place? 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
2735 And the gerbil could be his jester... 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2736 We've made a decision -- no more Game of Thrones till you lose weight. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2737 I agree last year's 2 week vacation was selfish and deserved the gifts behind the couch and bed. I also hated those curtains. How about 1 week, double feedings and all new toys? Gil even read about a service that delivers three-legged mice! 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
2738 Our prenup don't anticipate this 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2739 Do you really think he would accept us getting a dog? 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2740 I'm drawing a line at getting a mouse as a court jester. 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2741 Being king of the jungle isn't as easy as he thought! 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2742 And you think we're ready for kids? 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
2743 I suppose you can still wear them, but the baby is going to change things. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2744 And for the past 3 days, he has refused to use the litter box. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2745 Mommy and Daddy would like your permission to procreate. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2746 Perhaps we should revisit our one-child plan. 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
2747 Just because he has orange fur was no reason to name him "Donald". 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2748 But your Majesty, you banished all the mice. 1.1633 0.07346 49 44 2 3
2749 Told you we shouldn't have named him Donald 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2750 He couldn't be king of the jungle, so this was the best alternative. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2751 Now he wants to move into Trump Tower. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2752 Let me see if I got this right......tuna on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and Kibbles every other day? 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2753 Is it just me, or has the nature of television changed? 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2754 It's 'King of Beasts,' not 'King of Fancy Feast.' 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2755 She just hasn't been herself since the final episode of Downton Abby. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2756 Yes, I've noticed too. Ever since the dog died....... 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2757 Being king of the house isn't quite like being king of the jungle is it. 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
2758 Your being put to sleep and we're getting a puppy. 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2759 How may we serve you, you Majesty? 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2760 I don't think she realizes the costume is a gag. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2761 Good job Mr. Muffins. The first step is to admit that you have a catnip addiction 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2762 I told you it was too much catnip. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2763 After our home and the Internet videos, what challenges are left? Well, the Democrats still need a candidate. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2764 And when we booked it, we didn't realize they had a strict 'no pets' policy. 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2765 Apparently he finds the litter box beneath him. 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2766 Wouldn't you like a little brother or sister? 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2767 Just because your subjects don't come when you summon them doesn't mean they don't respect you. 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
2768 And to think we worried that our rescue cat would not adjust to our home 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
2769 See? I told you Cat King Cole was the perfect name. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2770 Maybe we shouldn't have mentioned neutering. 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2771 Chasing mice was a royal pain. 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2772 It happens every time he watches The Wizard of Oz . 1.1633 0.07346 49 44 2 3
2773 There's a queen out there somewhere who hasn't been spayed. 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
2774 I think we should have had children. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2775 It's your turn to clean the royal litter box 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2776 It started with the TV ads of the butler serving dinner to cats with white gloves and crystal. 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
2777 Looks like Rex has been binge watching Game of Thrones again. 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
2778 I believe it's time to bring out the house jester mouse. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2779 Should we call you "your highness" or "your majesty"? 1.1633 0.07346 49 44 2 3
2780 Bob and I think we may have taken this too far. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2781 It's time someone told you, you have no clothes 1.1633 0.07346 49 44 2 3
2782 The King went slumming and lost his gravitas. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2783 Was the salmon too dry? 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
2784 Tomato, tomahto, pepperoni, paparazzi, what's the difference? 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2785 Maybe just deluxe cat food is enough. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
2786 This Taxidermy idea creeps me out, let's just bury our dear Elmer. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
2787 Where did we go wrong with Princess? Do you think it was the big comfy chair? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
2788 I just had to have it. The artist called this piece "Fancy Fiested". 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
2789 But if I get pregnant, think of the sibling rivalry. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
2790 We turned you into a cat, but we don't know how to undo it. The best we can do is turn ourselves into mice. 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
2791 Morris, this is not what "Cats rule" means... 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
2792 You insisted he a it with us through the Game of Thrones binge - now he thinks brooding is cool. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2793 It's a euphemism -- I swear. That's what he calls his litter box too. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
2794 He hasn't been the same since he saw his Family Tree online. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
2795 I think we spoiled her too much 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
2796 Poor thing's lived in the exurbs too long. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
2797 Okay, we allow one more episode of 'game of thrones'. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
2798 Dad, I know you are disappointed. But Prince Tabby is my ticket out of this hellhole. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
2799 I warned you this could happen if we kept buying him that fancy cat food. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2800 Your dooty to your people is done outside. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2801 Unfortunately, we're going to have to overthrow him nine times. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2802 We've deported all dogs who don't speak feline. What's next? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2803 First Trump now the cat, i'm confused. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2804 I'm afraid our suspicions have been confirmed. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2805 Wait until you try to get him to use the litter box. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2806 He caught a mouse today. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2807 I think he wants his scepter. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2808 He's taking over as head of our household. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2809 Per your orders, the mice have all been beheaded. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2810 OK then, so I take it this means that a child is out of the question? 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2811 Heavy is the head that wears the crown, King Mr. Paws. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2812 Will Your Majesty be having any dry food tonight? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2813 According to the chiropractor, if it doesn't correct itself in a week, to bring him back in a sedan chair. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2814 The emperor has no clothes- where are the cat's pajamas? 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2815 It's nice to see a pussy in charge for a change. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2816 The regalia is fine but no golden litter box 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2817 Isn't he majestic? He's smarter than my boss. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2818 The stress is taking the fun out of it! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2819 Now he thinks he's a lion. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2820 Hey, this ain't fake news! This cat ain't got no clothes. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2821 Since inheriting the throne, there's just no talking to him. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2822 They want you to start as the assistant manager of the jungle. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2823 She's been that way ever since 'da mooch' got 'da boot'. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2824 "Discipline was difficult, but he now knows his place." Submitted by Neil L. Sachs, Monmouth Junction, NJ 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2825 We know it's beneath you but, ....could you just TRY to catch a mouse?? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2826 I'm tired of the stupid "cat videos" roles. I want to give my viewers something of substance! 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2827 I'm sorry cat, but I think we have a new king. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2828 When you took up taxidermy, I never thought we'd end up with this. . . 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2829 The vet says if we try to overthrow him he'll just develop a Napoleon complex 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2830 I fear that we moved him from the litter box to his new throne too early. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2831 It's not the fact that you had Mr. Pickles stuffed that bothers me. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2832 How was your vote supposed to solve our fat cat problem? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2833 We understand, mousing isn't what it used to be. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2834 After one episode of Game of Thrones he thinks he can rule the Seven Kingdom's 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2835 So it all started with a successful Cat Chow commercial and then he overheard a talent agent booking a revival of Imperial Margarine, so here we sit, waiting for that call ... 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2836 Could you please conquer our rat problem? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2837 You tell him to use the litter box. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2838 The popular vote is for losers. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2839 I'm sorry but you're going to have to accept that you are definitely the end of your line. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2840 Gee honey, maybe we should have adopted a dog. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2841 He thinks he's The King of Catatonia. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2842 No, we're not putting the dog in the dungeon. Seriously Susan, it's time to stop giving Oscar catnip. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2843 You may have to abdicate if you don't leave the neighbor's dog alone. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2844 Those Sheba commercials have really gone to her head. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2845 Whether it's Trump or 'Game of Thrones' doesn't really matter. No more TV for this guy." 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2846 You know, this is not what they mean by Lion King. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2847 Perhaps we've taken the spoiling a little too far? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2848 Mr. Whiskers,"How would you feel about a Parliamentary Constitutional Monarchy instead ?" 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2849 As you know, we have been your loyal staff for years. Could you reconsider us having Sundays off again? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2850 I think he's sprawling because we're spoiling him. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2851 Don't tell us, don't tell us. Pussy hunter, lazy king bit, and you go for tweets. You're doing Donald Trump! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2852 Really, we've searched. We're out of mice. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2853 Your throne has always been the litter box. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2854 Sowwy, puddy tat, no mo' tweets tonight. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2855 It's our fault you feel this way. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2856 Those Ancestry DNA Results Really Went To His Head 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2857 Maybe that was just too many blackbirds. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2858 Let's be realistic - you have no dinosaurs and winter is coming. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2859 The message from Rome is no annulment. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2860 The canine has agreed to relinquish the sun porch for the foot of the bed, plus a pound of catnip, your meowjesty. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2861 The mice have returned, your majesty...with a vengeance." 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2862 He most definitely didn't win the popular vote. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2863 How can I tell him his reign ends in less than nine months? 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2864 Please tell us - where did we go wrong? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2865 But they were eight good lives. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2866 I'm orange. I should be President. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2867 None of the dogs at the shelter came with a crown. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2868 Reigns some. Eats some. Naps, mostly. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2869 Are you kitten me? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2870 We had no choice but to take away your boots... 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2871 He's discouraged by your disloyalty. Sad. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2872 Think he knows he's not Trump 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2873 Mittens, your mother and I need to speak with you. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2874 The vet said it's called "Trump Complex." 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2875 There's nukes flying through the air but the stock market is still up so I don't really know what to think. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2876 He thinks he's king of the jungle. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2877 But the gold-plated litter box is going too far. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2878 ... fire and fury like the world has never seen. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2879 The Vet said she was queening. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2880 Sure the mice are playing, but that's not necessarily disrespectful. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2881 He wants to abdicate for the pussy he loves. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2882 Cuddles is playing 'Game of Thrones' again. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2883 He thinks he's king, but look at how small his paws are. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2884 Really? Did we not explain "uneasy is the head that wears the crown"! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2885 She doesn't want us to have children. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2886 ...well how about 'chunky chicken?' 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2887 If only he knew that Fancy Feast is mostly ashes and sawdust. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2888 What's left? Changing his name to Henry IX? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2889 First, the dog goes, and second, upgrade my litter box. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2890 Let's call him 'the Donald.' 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2891 Stop worrying. I told you: you don't have to be qualified anymore. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2892 The King of the Living Room missed his litter box again, do you want to pick it up this time or should I? 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2893 Ma'am, this speaks far more about you than your cat. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2894 Prince ..Aptly named 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2895 No, Fluffy, I said it's RAINing cats and dogs!" 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2896 9 lives of this you say? Amen! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2897 Somehow I thought training him to use the toilet would be more glamorous. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2898 Can you at least give catnip a try? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2899 Let them eat kibbled. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2900 Don't feel bad! You're just different because you're a queen! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2901 I didn't want to bring it up, but we need to address the litter box issue. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2902 You're being silly, dear. I obviously love you more. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2903 We should have gotten a dog! 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2904 Really, Percy, there are many health benefits in eating a vegan diet . . . 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2905 I guess we're watching Game of Thrones tonight? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2906 I blame myself. I should never have switched from Purina Cat Chow to Fancy Feast. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2907 When you act like this I almost regret ever naming you Louis Catorze. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2908 I don't know; I still don't think he appreciates us. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2909 Where do you remember wearing your boots last? Or It's time we faced up to the succession question Or Wouldst thou allow us to go away for the weekend? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2910 Relax, everyone knows that you got more of the popular vote than the dog! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2911 He's been watching too much "Game of Thrones" 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2912 I think the Fancy Feast is going to his head. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2913 There is no one left to fire Mr. President. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2914 Three million likes on facebook does not really impress us your majesty. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2915 So, where's the frog? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2916 We didn't mean to hurt you. We thought you'd understand it was just a nickname. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2917 Why did you tell him we should cut the dog in half? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2918 Well, we did name her Daenerys. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2919 More catnip. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2920 I liked it better when he disappeared to a smile... 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2921 youtube giveth, youtube taketh away 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2922 But Queenie, we just thought it would be a sweet name. We never dreamed it would cause a existential split between your dreams of self actualization and the realities of a world you can't actually control. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2923 Sorry, but our money is on the Corgi. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2924 Makes me wonder how she spent her other eight lives. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2925 I told you taking him to The Lion King was a bad idea. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2926 Catnip? Infused champagne? A fatted mouse? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2927 So I told Prince Ramsay Bolton,” I am the Mad Cat-King! As ransom for my Life, , my Crown, and the IronThrone, I will trade you my two sad, TV-addicted humans,” and they agreed. Oh, here they are now! Good-bye, and thanks for all the fish.” 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2928 Sweetie,I know what you've been thinking lately but in this country we're still a meritocracy. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2929 Let them eat hake? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2930 I know it hurts but you cannot expect the dog to recognize you as sovereign. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2931 I knew we should have stayed with dry food. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2932 We let you decide about having a dog, but having a baby is different. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2933 Let's call him Kim Jong-un. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2934 King for a day; fool for a lifetime... 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2935 We don't know who leaked the abdication rumor. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2936 We're sorry your highness, we're fresh out of Maine lobster. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2937 You cousin, Leo, wants his outfit back. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2938 You can't just say, 'off with their heads' to the gophers outside. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2939 Little Caesars again tonight? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2940 Look at me when I'm talking to you 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2941 Is this a good time to talk to you about litter boxes? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2942 This country has been good to me. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2943 Your Majesty, rumors of mice playing while you were not on vacation are Fake News! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2944 He's really let this YouTube celebrity go to his head. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2945 But you are a eunuch. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2946 He's like this with every boyfriend?!. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2947 You had him before the marriage. He's all yours. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2948 What makes you think that I would spoil our children? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2949 Aren't you just the cats meow 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2950 He's mad at the Winter Garden Theatre. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2951 Can you check his adoption papers? 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2952 ...so I said to the king, I said, "Here's lookin' at you," and one thing led to another...... 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2953 Look, Kevin, you won the Electoral College. You have to serve even if there are cats in the House. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2954 Too much catnip? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2955 You're a queen mother. I'm an adoptive mother. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2956 They said at the shelter that his name is Donald. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2957 Yes, Mr. Lion. You'll always be the king . 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2958 I put all our assets in his name today. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2959 No Tiger, the lion is the King of the jungle. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2960 We should block HBO. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2961 The DNA test came back and confirmed what he always suspected. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2962 Just because your DNA test shows a relation doesn't make you king of the jungle or anything else. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2963 Did you see this coming? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2964 He believes he was Henry the Eighth in his first life. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2965 He's more interested in bones than the throne. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2966 Look Rex, we are very sorry but "après moi le déluge" does not apply to your litter box. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2967 Yes, he's quite proud of his felineage. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2968 He didn't know that mousing could be so complicated. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2969 and we are DONE EMPTYING your CATBOX! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2970 We realize this throne pales compared to all you do for us. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2971 You know the house rule...the one about reigning cats AND dogs. It's Fido's turn to be king of the yard. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2972 You're Fired! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2973 He's just discovered they were fake mews. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2974 We adore you, but hope you won't ever repeat that our place is a dump. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2975 It's not all you were hoping for, is it,your grace? 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2976 I am sorry but we just can't afford fancy feast on our budget 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2977 Yes I will go shopping for you Puss. I think the chances of finding leather boots in you size is slim. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2978 Don't take him on the White House tour again. 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
2979 The animal psychologist said fluffy felt we did not treat him like the royalty he thought we should. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2980 Think of it as a Tuesday and weekends kingdom. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2981 The Fat Cats won. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
2982 he just received the miceacarta 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
2983 Bring in the first peasant. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
2984 Don't worry, he's just a figurehead. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
2985 I promise you, the dog was banished. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
2986 The critics said 'he brought nuances to the roll that Brynner completely missed. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
2987 You heiness, we believe the dog is planning A coo. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
2988 He tweeted that he wants to be called "The Donald".... 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
2989 Sire, it's simply that 'Mr. Tiddles' just doesn't cut it when calling you to dinner. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
2990 You shouldn't have let him watch 'Game of Thrones.' 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
2991 So we sat in the white house and did nothing at all and we did not like it not one little bit 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
2992 Not happy, King Donald? How about a gold litter box? 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
2993 That's what we get for naming him Rex! 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
2994 Well, boys, cat got your tongues? 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
2995 So what happened after you told the witch you could get away with grabbing whatever because you were the king of whatever? 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
2996 Cats rule. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
2997 It's only for a day! 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
2998 Who needs boots to be the King! 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
2999 I hear dog owners have lives... 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3000 I don't know what happenned. They said I would be Purrfect, I guess will just have to wait for the next Game of Thrones call backs. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3001 It's so hard to explain. At first I couldn't take him seriously – a stupid joke, I thought. Now this. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3002 Do you think we are encouraging her fantasy that she runs the household? 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3003 Sire, the Grumpy Cat demographic still supports you. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3004 Only because it's your birthday... "Look at me! Look at me NOW! It is fun to have fun But you have to know how.” 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3005 Where exactly is Catatonia? 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3006 Okay, Max, you can join us for the Seder this year. BUT, save the gefilte fish for the guests. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3007 If only you hadn't called him "King of the Jungle"..... 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3008 If Queenie can have the car keys, why can't I? 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3009 We strongly advise you not to fire the bloodhound. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3010 His Majesty appears bored. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3011 We just let him think he rules. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3012 ...and then, as the smoke was clearing, he declared lordship over the entire neighborhood. It's been quite a busy day for Mr. Whiskers! 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3013 I told you it would be boring if you beheaded the dog. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3014 'Royal Consort' just wasn't enough for him. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3015 We should have never named her Cersei. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3016 Naughty kitty, you get nine lives, not nine wives! 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3017 So let's talk about your outstanding rent 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3018 He says he was a king in his last life. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3019 The New Yorker bet me I couldn't write a caption that was situation-agnostic. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3020 She's making us call her Daenerys Meowgaryan. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3021 I get why he's fat, but I question the royal lineage. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3022 We can't afford caviar anymore. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3023 Who needs children when you've got a cat. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3024 He wants to move back to Trump Tower. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3025 No, a catnip orb is out of the question. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3026 The mice just voted for independence. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3027 And here I thought Rex was a dog's name. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3028 Maybe we shouldn't have named him Trumpie. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3029 He hasn't been the same since we took down his Twitter account. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3030 I think we should switch her back to dry food 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3031 We never should have named him Prince 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3032 You have a real royal cattitude, don't you? 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3033 It's not just that you aren't a king, it's kind of...you're a cat. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3034 The vet says you have gout. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3035 Perhaps we need to renew his Twitter account. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3036 No, "Off with their Heads" doesn't count as catching mice. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3037 Foie gras doesn't care if you're King. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3038 I told you we should've gotten his tax returns. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3039 Nothing worse than a fat cat who thinks he's a king. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3040 We should never have let him watch "The Lion King." 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3041 All I did was tell the taxidermist that we treated him like a king,not do this! 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3042 We did warn you that domestication provided challenges to your King of the Jungle run. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3043 Shall we scratch your belly now, Your Majesty? 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3044 Maybe we shouldn't have named him Donald 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3045 We don't have the technology to make your throne follow the square of light around the room. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3046 Apparantly, it's not a game to him... 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3047 Off with whose head? 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3048 And, finally, I demand the cat door be made openable with my iPhone. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3049 I guess you're right. The emperor really doesn't have any gonads 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3050 You Highness, we are tired of eating cake. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3051 I knew we shouldn't have watched Game of Thrones with the cat. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3052 she is a king of queens. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3053 If we had known, we never would have had you spayed. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3054 Sometimes this is how I feel on the inside everyday all the time. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3055 What's a Napoleon complex? 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3056 We're sorry, Your Majesty, but Whole Foods no longer carries fried mice. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
3057 All I know is she went to Bryn Mawr and thats all I need to know. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3058 I asked him. he said ask you 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3059 We are sorry to have to tell you, we are going to have you spayed. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3060 I can't wait to see the litter box. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3061 Now he really looks like a fat cat. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
3062 I'm not sure what more we can do to show you we love you as much as Rex . . . 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3063 Thank you for seeing us, Mr. Wriggles. As we said on the phone, we're looking for a short term loan. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
3064 What do you mean you weren't able to compile a report of positive things people are saying about me?! 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
3065 We need to have a talk Sir Scruffles. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
3066 When I said, "You're not a frog," the newt said, "It works with any amphibian," so I went ahead and kissed it. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
3067 I read him the results from his DNA kit we ordered and now look at him! 1.1500 0.07638 40 36 2 2
3068 Let's go back to dry cat food only. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
3069 Ozy, we told you being 'King of Kings' would be hard work. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
3070 We respectfully request your Highness's approval of the name Duke for our new puppy. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
3071 I'm very disappointed in this cat. 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
3072 Sorry, Sire, the can opener isn't part of your realm. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
3073 He looks bored. We need to order more mice. 1.1500 0.06746 40 35 4 1
3074 Heavy is the head that wears the cat crown. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3075 We understand that you think this place is a dump, but we can't go to Meow-a-Lago every week-end. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3076 Listen carefully. You are a cat. You are not the king of the castle. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3077 We have to shut down your Twitter account. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3078 He insists on being called a 'phat cat' from now on. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3079 Just because your name is Trump....... 1.1489 0.07437 47 43 1 3
3080 Be patient, dear subjects, while I decide which of you will be in charge of the Royal Pantry and feeding me and which will be filling, cleaning, and replacing in a timely manner the Royal Litter Box. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3081 Cat: "When you fight, expect to be scratched" 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3082 We're canceling your Amazon account ... and your credit cards. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3083 I feel sure he is not disinterested in us. At a minimum he feels loathing and contempt. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3084 Maybe we shouldn't have named him Henry. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3085 I don't mind him thinking he's royalty, but his taxes are killing us. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3086 Yes, but she's a benevolent despot. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3087 But I'm sure you could have won if you were wearing your new clothes. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3088 Let's Rethink this Organic Catnip Thing. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3089 At least we know how Spot got his three-pointed jester's hat. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3090 Is our Queenie kitten us? 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3091 She leans left and doesn't tweet. She's got my vote in 2020. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3092 He's been this way ever since they discovered the Russian connection. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3093 "We know you are the cat's meow but do you have to be so loud. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3094 This is all because you bought the scented litter box 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3095 I doubt that he knows that he's getting neutered today. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3096 I think we can build a better mouse trap. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3097 Now he's ordering the children to man the ramparts. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3098 This will never go viral if you don't make an effort. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3099 Sire, us peasants want to move the cat litter out of the bedroom. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3100 Does YouTube have an, ’Entitled Cat’ category? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3101 Viewers are great now, but what about some endorsement deals like Maru has? 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3102 Look Petey, as much as we love it, the Goldmans don't want to see your "The Lion in Winter" bit again. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3103 We may want to reconsider Whisker's Henry VIII diet plan. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3104 You cannot expect to wield supreme power just because of your blood line. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3105 More nip, Your Grace? 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3106 The Lion King isn't all that it's cracked up to be huh? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3107 Did you eat all of your subjects? 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3108 When in the course of human events, Max dear . . . 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3109 But the tuna casserole was for the kids party... 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3110 Oh Sparkles ... the new baby won't change a thing around here! 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3111 Has he been binge-watching Game of Thones again? 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3112 You are...your a very regal pussy. Your just suffering from monarchy malaise. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3113 He just doesn't seem as comfortable since we put in the extra-firm lumbar support. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3114 Yes, we know... Brexit was far more complex than any of your people realized. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3115 The White House put him up for adoption since they have room for only one king. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3116 Earlier, he said, "Paint me like one of your autocrats." 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3117 We tried to tell you something like this would happen 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3118 May we suggest that your Trump impersonation has begun to cloy? 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3119 But, Puss, dearest, while we've got an emperor running the country, there's no room for a king. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3120 Well, the shelter did tell us his name was King. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3121 And then for supper, we thought catnip salad, freshly caught wild salmon mousse with mouse feet garnish, and dessert of live crickets a la mode, your favorite? 1.1489 0.07437 47 43 1 3
3122 Your highness, where is your fire and fury? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3123 Now that he's got his throne, maybe he'll get down to doing business. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3124 I told you Midtown Taxidermy might be a bit hoity-toity. 1.1489 0.07437 47 43 1 3
3125 Will no one rid me of this turbulent beast? 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3126 It said online the litter box guaranteed regularity through self-esteem. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3127 The global cat video economy has gone to your head, Scruffy. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3128 We think you'd be a really great king, sweetie, we really do, but you need to start thinking about more realistic career paths. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3129 You have to let it go 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3130 Who knew Game of Thrones would end this way? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3131 Sic semper tyrannis 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3132 Look what a kitty coronation does to you 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3133 You're supposed to be the king of the jungle, not the condo. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3134 The crown and robe was his idea. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3135 We know trump would love your impersonation. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3136 Your father and I were thinking of getting a puppy, but we wanted to get your OK first. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3137 We just wanted you to know what an honor it is to serve on your cabinet. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3138 I knew we shouldn't have left those self-help tapes playing every day to keep him company! 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3139 Well I guess we got roles mixed up! 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3140 Like husband, like cat. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
3141 Go ahead, you tell him that’s not what “raining cats and dogs” means. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3142 I told you not to give the cat free rein. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3143 Oh so humbly, thy does beseech thou, to lay off that damned catnip. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
3144 We just want to try some dry food....for a few days...your majesty 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3145 The catnip is here, may we commence with bellie rubs now, your highness? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
3146 Ok, if you want to be the new face of Friskies, you're going to have to work with us. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
3147 "He's been listening to 'The Feline King' again."' 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
3148 As your loyal subjects, we humbly request that you place your royal treasure in the litter box at least once a fortnight. 1.1463 0.07458 41 37 2 2
3149 We'll call you His Royal Highness if you eat the generic cat food Paul bought. 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
3150 I couldn't toilet train him, but for some reason, he took to this right away. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
3151 The success of his internet meme has really gone to his head. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
3152 I never should have told him about the email server 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
3153 We said 'don't chase the Pooch!'" 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
3154 Okay, if you say Spike can't be trusted to guard the house when we're away then he needs to go. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
3155 " "In retrospect, we should have had her cremated. 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
3156 It needs to be more 'Christmas-y'. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
3157 First life a juggler, second life a cowboy, and now this. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
3158 But, your excellency, we can't cut little Jimmy in half! 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
3159 When you said your pussy was royalty this is not what I had in mind. 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
3160 Maybe it would help if you asked the Royal Physician to cut back on the cat-a-tonic dosage? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
3161 Stupid pet tricks: "catatonic state" 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3162 Got into the catnip again! 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3163 Have you checked the canary cage? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3164 Joffrey over here hasn't seen season four yet 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
3165 King Leo says you're blocking his sunlight. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3166 I don’t know, should we take her to the vet or to a shrink? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3167 We are putting you on a low-carb diet immediately after your coronation celebration. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3168 Only 7 lives left to shape up, Your Majesty. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3169 Must it always be the death penalty? 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3170 Luck of birth, I guess. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3171 He misses Spicy and The Mooch. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3172 When, in the Course of human events ... 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3173 The vet says he is just another fat cat 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3174 What are you looking at? Don't you know a cat nap? 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3175 Stop worrying so much. There are only a few mice on the Grand Jury. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3176 Mommy and Daddy just want what’s best for you, Your Highness. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3177 A lame King in need of a strong Queen, it seems to me. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3178 Looks like our little King had one nip too many. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3179 You brought him home and named him Donald. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3180 Now, he'd like us to do a video of you playing with a large ball of string. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3181 Prince Philip says he won't press charges if you give his things back. The queen is not happy. The old man you frightened down the stairs in London is Philip. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3182 .... and he claims to have a copy of your birth certificate from a hospital in Kenya... 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3183 What did the vet mean by 'royal ennui?' 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3184 I used his scepter to scoop the litter. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3185 We've considered 'King of All Things Feline', but we're sticking with 'Kitty'. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3186 Sorry, we just can't afford pet insurance. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3187 Lately I've noticed a lot of fake mews. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3188 We think you're taking our little joke way too seriously now , Tiddles ... 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3189 I see, so it’s going to be “l’etat c’est meow” from now on. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3190 Your Majesty, would it be possible for us to watch something on TV tonight, other than Animal Planet? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3191 I warned you this would happen if you let him follow Donald Trump on twitter. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3192 This IS an intervention! You are a cat, not a King and we are not your loyal subjects! 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3193 By 'we,' do you mean 'the royal we?' 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3194 He feels we owe him since we had him neutered. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3195 It's like, ever since we got HBO, he doesn't like the same games. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3196 Just consider us as a provisional government calling for free and fair elections. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3197 If we're lucky, maybe he will "abdiCAT". 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3198 I say belly rub, he insists under the chin. Who wins? 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3199 And when you’re a star…you can do anything…pussy…you can do anything. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3200 We...may have taken this too far. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3201 This Phat Cat routine is getting a bit old. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3202 Revolt? I don't know, we'd have to behead him eight more times. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3203 What, you thought being King for a Day meant you weren't getting neutered? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3204 Well, that's capitalism for you. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3205 I heard you correctly, sire; I'm just not sure you have any room left for the third blind mouse. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3206 When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. But then you get eight more lives. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3207 The elephant was needed in another room. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3208 Maybe children would have been a better option... 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3209 Another mouse beheaded?! 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3210 The therapist says he's down about killing all his relatives to reach the top. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3211 I understand you wish you had unlimited power but you know…Magna Catta. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3212 F king cat 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3213 We don't care what happened at camp! 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3214 We closed your Twitter account. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3215 I agree. PETA's regulations have gone a bit too far. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3216 Deserving or not, he's found his niche. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3217 Looks like the tuna kibbles did him in! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
3218 OK, she said it was her...not you. Who knows how Himalayans think, anyway? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3219 Uh, there is such a thing as being too cool of a cat! 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3220 I remember a simpler time, when cats could just be cats. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3221 Is this what we paid a king's ransom for? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3222 You knew when you accepted the throne that you'd have to stop chasing certain things. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3223 I guess what they say is true. This really is the golden age of taxidermy. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3224 I still think we should have gotten the rug 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3225 he always ruled the house antway 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3226 Cheer up - the Dog Days of Summer will soon be gone. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3227 I thought he was one of YOUR friends. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3228 They warned us he had trumpism tendencies. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3229 Can we talk boundaries? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3230 Do you want to watch the version from Animal Planet or Netflix? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3231 We've given you what you wanted. Now will you clean your own litter box? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3232 Yes, your food comes out of cans but they're nice cans with nice food. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3233 Really, Rex, catch your own damn mice. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3234 When exactly does your "incredible prize" go home? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3235 Now that we've sent the kids off to camp, what is your will, Sire? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3236 He's demanding to see Rasputin. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3237 Yes, if you just apply yourself and work hard, you can become King of the Jungle. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3238 AND - scene! 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3239 I'm not Steve Bannon. I'm not trying to suck my own cock. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
3240 We can't send him back to the Rescue Shelter like this. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3241 He says we have to stop calling him 'Mittens' and address him as 'King Tommen Cat Barathmeow' from now on. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3242 Sometimes it all feels like I'm just chasing my own tail here. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3243 Do you know who ate the Parliament of Fowls? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3244 I guess cats have always been post-irony 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3245 Think he'll keep us on his staff? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3246 How about some ermine pants? Is that what you want? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3247 Taxidermy suits him. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3248 Do you think we spoil him? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3249 You want our purrsonal loyalty...? Well... I guess so... 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3250 If we spay her, who's next in line? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3251 He got rid of our dog in 10 days and wants us to make kibble great again. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3252 I think he'll be disappointed when he realizes what we meant by 'kitty litter'. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3253 It's daddy turn to wear the crown. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3254 We need you to understand that your best years are behind you. You are not going to get another cat food commercial. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3255 Where are we going to find a scepter at this time of night? 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3256 Maybe the Trump cat shelter was a mistake? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3257 Oh no, Game of Thrones must be back on! 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3258 we saw the Lion King last night 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3259 He's practicing the power of meow. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3260 He does rest uneasily on his throne, doesn't he. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3261 Don't go all Hamlet on us, but your distant cousin is still king. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3262 All he does is eat, sleep, and stare out the window. It's good to be the king. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3263 The fat cat in a hat sat pat while answering queries rat-a-tat-tat 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3264 Even the one percenters have to hear "NO" once in awhile. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3265 I wish he was a more enlightened monarch. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3266 Finally the TRUTH! Our cat rules................ 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3267 Bill, Your cat is NOT tired of governing. HE has ED Issues! 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3268 Sweetie, when he talked about "grabbing", he didn't me you personally... 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3269 I think he is going to want a castle next. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3270 He just got fired from the White House 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3271 But neither of us wants to take on a second job. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3272 Actually, it's the Year of the Rooster. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3273 Don't mistake my silence for weakness. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3274 That's not always the case, Oliver. The Emperor Wears No Clothes was not just a fairy-tale. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3275 I found him on Pennsylvania Ave., but his collar says Wall Street. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3276 Ted, as taxidermists go, you’re a bit too literal. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3277 He's even beginning to LOOK like Donald Trump 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3278 He'll only watch "Game of Thrones" 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3279 Fetch me some nip, peasants! 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3280 Would Your Majesty prefer salmon or duck? 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3281 What he's requesting, sire, is to move the litter box off of his pillow and back to the kitchen. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3282 I'll be her lady-in-waiting if you'll do butler and chef duties. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3283 Oh he's actually pretty low maintenance 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3284 We never should have allowed him to watch HBO. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3285 Whatcha doing? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3286 I know we agreed on taxidermy, but did you have to go this far? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3287 The pet store won't sell us any more canaries. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3288 Cheer up, Max; nine months is a long time. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3289 I don't think he feels heard. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3290 Cheer up. Being a Cat with a Crown is much better than being The Cat in the Hat. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3291 The vet calls it a Purrsonality Disorder 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3292 Anything more? 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3293 You know that you're concerns are our concerns. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3294 Just because Trump was elected President of the country does not mean that you can become King of the house. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3295 You may pay tribute to her Majesty with a formal chin scratch. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3296 Has #Caturday gotten out of hand? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3297 That genealogy search has really gone to his head. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3298 He's never scratched or clawed for anything. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3299 I've found I just don't need a man in my life, 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3300 "Maybe the saying 'It's good to be the king!' only works for Mel Brooks? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3301 Well ,Im telling the truth my seventh life i was ELVIS,now get me a peanut butter and banana sandwich,Priscilla. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3302 Honey, I think you are spoiling him 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3303 Yep. The acid just kicked in because I'm seeing a cat on a throne. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3304 we need to discuss your recent amazon purr-chaise submitted by Ahme Bowen, Minneapolis, MN via my account 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
3305 I'm sorry you're not ready yet, but it is time to pass the crown on to Charles. 1.1429 0.08044 42 39 0 3
3306 The good news is that the dog is Prime Minister. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3307 He eats, lives, and shits better than we do. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3308 You do not need to abdicate just because we're getting a kitten. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3309 Game of Thrones has really gone to his head!! 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3310 He likes being an "only" cat! 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3311 Seriously, you changed your name to Aristocat? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3312 I told you we shouldn't have named him "Trump." 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3313 I don't see a collar. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3314 We bought a crown, a cape, and a throne, what more can we do to make her happy? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3315 Quit smiling. You'll just encourage him. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3316 Toonces contemplates the "nine lives" strategic advantage in winning the Iron Throne. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3317 Sorry, Rex. Those animal-rights activists won't let us bake live blackbirds. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3318 Fluffy, this is our first catnip intervention. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3319 No, your highness, we are not licking your backside for you. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3320 It's my fault, I left the"Game of Thones" DVD running..... 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3321 And so, Your Majesty, consent to our divorce would mean Ma'am will have two palaces. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3322 We'll call him SCOTUS - Supreme Cat of the United States 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3323 His royal highness needs his deworming medication now. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3324 ...you just don't have to flaunt it in our faces. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3325 Children? I don't think we are ready for cats. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3326 What do you mean, you finished your bucket list, and you still feel unfulfilled? 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3327 You kiss him, no you kiss him 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3328 The lyrics to Stuck in the Middle With You finally made sense to Mittens, "Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the Right, here I am". 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3329 We got your results back from ancestory dna test, and, well, let's just say it's good that your sitting down for this... 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3330 He says he's an enchanted prince and only tuna fish 3 times daily will transform him back. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3331 You still only get Nine Lives 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3332 The " mouse job" doesn't come with a Title The " mouse job" doesn't come with a Title. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3333 Your show is on, but you must honor your scheduled apearance at the animal shelter. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3334 Cat Lord still sounds better than Cat Lady. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3335 Don't worry about my cat. He's really just a figurehead. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3336 I told you we should have bought the puppy. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3337 He's sad because he lost his boots and the lifts inside them that made him 2" taller. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3338 He's disappointed it's not the Iron Throne. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3339 You may pet the tummy now. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3340 Next time, let's get the dog. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3341 The litter box, people! I mean it! I really don't want to walk in there. Who's turn is it? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3342 The emperor torn up his new clothes 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3343 Oliver, we're taking away your Fancy Feast. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3344 Ya think he heard the new kitten talk last night? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3345 He thinks he's our dog. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3346 I just thought I'd make it explicit. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3347 Okay, we got you the chair but you're taking this too far. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3348 This ain't goiong to end soon. He has 9 lives. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3349 It's called irritable bowel syndrome. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3350 Yes, I think the power has gone to his head, Dan, but at least he can't use Twitter. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3351 Sorry Rex, nine lives still applies to you! 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3352 Nobody knew being king could be so complicated 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3353 Would you like another mouse, your majesty? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3354 She ate her kittens, and now she has an heir ball. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3355 There's never a day off from being king! 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3356 We're sorry, but we thought you knew - Siam is no longer a country. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3357 I'm all out of arguments...your turn. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3358 I thought King's Taxidermy was just the guy's name. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3359 Your salmon Benedict is in your bowl with a side of sparkling water, the television is switched to the animal channel, and the dog is in his kennel; can we please go out with our friends now? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3360 We submitted to all your requests, now eat your damn food! 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3361 I wonder if they suspect me of eating the pet rat. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3362 Just admit it. We've suspected this the whole time. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3363 He's auditioning for the role of Louis XIV in "A Tale of Two Kitties." 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3364 Cat's in the Cradle. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3365 Okay, but you still have to use the box. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3366 This cartoon idea I had in college did not age well. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
3367 We're getting a dog and you can have all the catnip you want. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3368 I'm sure he'll be pleased with us if we just try a little harder. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3369 Everyone still has to use the litter box. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3370 Heavy is the head, eh? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3371 Honey, I think we need to talk about our cat food budget 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3372 Your flagrant disregard for the litter box makes you the dirty rascal. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3373 Is this house an unworthy kingdom? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3374 Of course we can assure you, we are your handmaidens 24/7. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3375 not again... look what the cat dragged in 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3376 Even her hairballs glitter. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3377 King Snugglefluff's reign of torpor. 1.1429 0.08044 42 39 0 3
3378 It is time you allowed Charles to assume the throne. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3379 We should have gotten a mixed breed. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3380 Heavy is the head that wears the meown. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3381 Your excellency, we need to talk about your cat-titude ... 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3382 He's very proud of his hunting skills. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3383 You're really a commoner 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3384 Ok, so NOW will you tell us where you hid all the pens? 1.1429 0.08044 42 39 0 3
3385 Go get him his catatonic. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3386 Cat got your tongue? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3387 You could try licking yourself. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3388 It is the biggest blessing of my life to serve your agenda." 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3389 He so depressed that Game Of Thrones is only 7 episodes this season. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3390 Look- mice, bugs, whatever can be your subjects. No more cats. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3391 We've been over this before. You were named after Costello, not Presley. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3392 I told you the premium cat food would go to his head. 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3393 I told you "King" is a dog's name, never a cat's. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3394 Can you tell me the hardest part of being king? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3395 We've known for a long time, but where did you get the trappings? 1.1429 0.07287 42 38 2 2
3396 Well, then where is the last place you remember seeing the canary? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3397 Now, to find a Foolish Mouse. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3398 Sweetheart, we named you King George ironically. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3399 Your majesty, the mice are on strike. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
3400 Shall I fill the royal crunchy bowl or will you? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3401 So how long were you Trump's house cat? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
3402 And later he said we're gonna Fancy Feast like kings. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
3403 Apparently we didn't meet his needs with the ball of yarn. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
3404 His latest video failed to go viral and now he wants to abdicat. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
3405 He doesn't believe me when I tell him hair balls were not covered under Obama care. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
3406 He's a very good vet, maybe you should consider abdication. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
3407 I think King Fluffy Bottom VIII would strongly benefit from a less purr-missive parenting style. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
3408 Listen, if you really, really don't want to write the LCAT, you don't have to. 1.1400 0.06395 50 45 3 2
3409 Should we bow or meow? 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3410 Sometimes I just want to grab him. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3411 What'd you expect? You're the one who wanted to name him Donald. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3412 Well, Cole, Mike has told me so much about you. Glad we've finally met. I assume you're an indoor cat. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3413 We didn't rescue you to give us attitude... 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3414 But if we take our house back from him we will see will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen! 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3415 You just had to name him Richard the Purred. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3416 Catnip will always be our state food!!! 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3417 Best of show does it ever time. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3418 You know, all cats have their litter cleaned up after them. You're letting it go to your head. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3419 Yeah, who knew healthcare was so complicated. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3420 Your most recent CAT scan showed a slight aberration. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3421 We're getting a kitten, so you will have to abdicate the throne. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3422 Tybalt was only teasing you, honey. You're king in our hearts. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3423 Tracing your ancestry back to a lion does not make you king of the beasts. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3424 Let's put him back on the dry food. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3425 Obviously, the Whoppers were not a good idea. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3426 Time for me to be re-purr-pussed. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3427 I don't care if you're the royal cat. You cannot "haz cheezburger" 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3428 Ever since he met the Queen he hasn't been the same. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3429 Perhaps we should have just had it removed. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3430 And we thought Trump was bad... 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3431 Idid't know it would be so complicated. 1.1395 0.07862 43 40 0 3
3432 Jim, you have just been so annoying ever since ancestry.com told you that you're 1/16th Egyptian. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3433 I told you not to buy a cat from Trump Tower! 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3434 Cats rule. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3435 Sorry sire, turned all the mice were here illegally and had to be deported. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3436 I don't care what his tweets say, YOU are the greatest fat cat there ever was. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3437 We need to talk about your "throne,"aka, the litter box. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3438 No, Your Majesty, building a wall to keep out next door's Chihuahua is simply a pipe dream. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3439 "Now there is the truest form of an aloof monarchy"! 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3440 Did you have to steal the queen's things to prove your visit? 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3441 It's a jungle out there, isn't it? 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3442 Yes, uneasy lies the head that wears a crown, but you're a cat. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3443 Get over it. Puss 'N Boots you're not. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3444 Bring me my phone. I feel a tweet coming on. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3445 Donald Trump wishes he could grab this...cat 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3446 "Sir Richard" was not a wise choice. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3447 No sir, we don't know why you've called this meeting. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3448 Shall we name him Donald? 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3449 What do you expect in one day? 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3450 He wants access to Twitter. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3451 I'm sorry, your majesty, you still have to use the litter box. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3452 Are you sure about abdicating? 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3453 We should get a dog. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3454 We're here to assist you at your every beck and meow, your majesty. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3455 I thought you ordered a scratching post. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3456 Him getting rid of our dogs is a bit much! 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3457 I fear he's suffering from ennui. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3458 Could you grant us this one favor? 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3459 let's address the cat in the room 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3460 I know you're royalty, but you still get only nine lives. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3461 But Sire, beheading the puppy is illegal. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3462 Use your words! 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3463 He's having a feline fantasy brought on by catnip. It's called "delusion of grandeur". 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3464 Cheer Up, There are things you always wanted to do if were deposed. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3465 Windows 10 is just fine. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3466 I can somehow understand that he's disappointed - we should have bought the full set, including orb and sceptre! 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3467 All that Tweeting is killing me.. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3468 You'd think he needs more lithium? 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3469 We're downsizing. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3470 Would your Majesty like to greet John Snow, or have her tummy rubbed? 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3471 I'm sorry, we just can't afford the 24K gold scratching post. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3472 She doesn't seem to appreciate the irony. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3473 Shall we ask to change the channel? 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3474 Its our turn to sleep. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3475 Looks like someone's proud about that mouse he caught. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3476 That last episode of 'Games of Thrones' did it. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3477 You knew what you were getting into when we got a cat. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3478 Will there be anything else, Your Majesty, before we retire for the evening? 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3479 Forget cash, cat is king. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3480 We never should have named her Queenie. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3481 Perhaps Your Majesty should have eaten a smaller Corgi. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3482 My nip please. Too much heavy governing. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3483 At the time, we were thinking more of the furniture than of the line of succession. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3484 I hope we're now clear who's boss. 1.1395 0.07123 43 39 2 2
3485 I knew feeding him caviar every day would come back to haunt us. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3486 Never underestimate the power of the Pussy 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3487 I'm sure the President didn't mean it personally. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3488 I told you we needed a DNA sample. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3489 I still think changing the carpet is the only way to get out the pee smell. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3490 E'etat ce'est moi. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3491 It's his tribute to his cousin, the King of the Jungle 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
3492 Does "Does Blue Apron have a cat diet? 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3493 Yes, heavy is the he'd that wears the crown but you requested it. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3494 I understand hairballs are now to be considered holy relics. 1.1395 0.06298 43 38 4 1
3495 We lied. Your distant cousin is still king. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
3496 To think I gave up my nine lives in Trump Tower for this! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3497 We never should have named him 'Tut'. 1.1373 0.06275 51 46 3 2
3498 I guess I just thought once I hit my teenage years I would rule the house... 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
3499 Hmmm....let them eat catnip 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
3500 Do you prefer warmed milk or bottle water? 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
3501 Yes, we consider you a prince, but you gotta go on sale diet, Charles. 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3502 It kind of looks like this cartoon we're in was drawn by a cat. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3503 Oh, Brad, I'll so miss you after the beheading. 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3504 Giving him Fancy Feast has been a catastrophe. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3505 He wants a fried peanut butter and mouse sandwich. 1.1364 0.06966 44 40 2 2
3506 I call it the Trump effect 1.1364 0.06966 44 40 2 2
3507 and which one of us is The Fool? 1.1364 0.06966 44 40 2 2
3508 Ain't I the cat's meow 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3509 Obviously, the Whoppers were not a good idea. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3510 When they told me, "Cats Rule, I had no idea." 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3511 You want your toes sucked? 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3512 He was happier as "The Prince." 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3513 We realize we may have spoiled you a bit, your Highness, but we’re not buying you an Iron Throne and you’re going to have to lick your own fur. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3514 Let's call him 'King Feral'. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3515 I have disconnected all mice from computers. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3516 Not one single mouse consumed, but an entire cheesecake…so much for 'noblesse oblige'. 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3517 But I'm concerned he may not be comfortable. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3518 Alexa just can't understand him. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3519 Third day, positive again on the pregnancy test. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3520 He always gets this way when he watches The Wizard of Oz 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3521 Should we send for the blackbird pie? 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3522 Your majesty,did the Little Friskies meet with your approval ? 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3523 I thought this would be all it would take to make Tulip happy. 1.1364 0.06966 44 40 2 2
3524 There is no need to be so upset over spilt milk your grace. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3525 Maybe if we got rid of the mice footmen and made her walk more it might help . 1.1364 0.06966 44 40 2 2
3526 Your throne does need swords... 1.1364 0.06966 44 40 2 2
3527 All we're saying is you might want to cool it with the tweets. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3528 And then I TV him the Cheshire Cat sequence. 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3529 He plans to unite the litter boxes under one rule 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3530 You know we try our best, Rex, but Fancy Feast simply doesn't make grilled venison and pheasant morsels in gravy. 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3531 Don't think of it as a diet, it's more an extension of your realm adjustment. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
3532 A couple of snips and you'll become the metrosexual everyone wants at their party. 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3533 Do you think Rex's name has gone to his head? 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
3534 Unfortunately we're all out of Trader Joe's snacks, and they're closed until tomorrow. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
3535 King Whiskers, I did advise you to not stay out late drinking milk last night. You've missed your morning tweet. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
3536 I knew we shouldn't have read her all those nursery rhymes. 1.1351 0.07905 37 34 1 2
3537 I think it's time he abdicated. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
3538 Wikipedia refused to list his autobiography. 1.1351 0.06891 37 33 3 1
3539 From now on let's call him KING Fuzzy-Wuzzums. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
3540 The seared ahi was slightly under-cooked, but you ate way too much. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
3541 Meet the king of the bungalow. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
3542 So Elton is a dog person, you still know how beautiful you are. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
3543 Now that I have been crowned King, what's left? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
3544 I told you naming him Joffrey would go to his head. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
3545 Is our desire to win this photo contest really the only thing we have left in common? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
3546 Your father and I have been thinking. Perhaps it's time to choose a wife, a Persian or maybe an acceptable Burmese of good breeding. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
3547 Here, Kitty IV, Kitty IV, Kitty IV....here, Kitty IV.... 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
3548 He's watched too many Disney movies. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
3549 We could call him KittyTrump. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
3550 The dog refuses to play court jester. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
3551 They said you were acting like a despot. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
3552 Your Majesty, there is something we need to tell you. 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
3553 He thinks he's King of Purr-sia. 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
3554 What happened to the merry old soul? 1.1316 0.07703 38 35 1 2
3555 Yes, I was okay with you taking Tootles to be preserved. But seriously, the Trump theme is totally creeping me out. 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
3556 I think it's time for the talk 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
3557 The vet says it's a form of feline psychosis. Our Dexter believes he is Henry VI in a state of cat-atonia. 1.1316 0.06716 38 34 3 1
3558 He just heard the Duke of Edinburgh was retiring. He's depressed. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
3559 Face it, Fluffy. You're no Simba. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
3560 We know you're having second thoughts about leaving the EU, but you cannot go on like this 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
3561 Maybe we should have scratched him equally on both sides. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
3562 Rescue cat - from "thrown out" to "in throne". 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
3563 Everything is going to be okay Mr. Friskypants. This is 2017... They have pills for that kinda stuff. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
3564 That's it, no more cable news in the background. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3565 Don't listen to that silly dog - you are still the king of the household. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3566 Maybe we could have something different for dinner tonight? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3567 Giving you the master-suite was supposed to be temporary. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3568 But we are completely loyal to you. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3569 He'll fit right in with the Washington crowd. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3570 " He stopped responding to " Here Kitty, Kitty". 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3571 All we are saying is, maybe this is a midlife crisis. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3572 he does realize he's still at the shelter, right....? 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3573 Honey, did you give Queenie an extra cocktail last night? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3574 She's been this was since the CATS revival closed 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3575 It will go viral, I promise. Just keep the crown on. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3576 If he can't be king of the jungle, he can at least be king of the living room 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3577 We just don't think the solid gold cat box is gong to work for all of us. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3578 Hey- we were both grieving...taxidermy seemed like a good idea. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3579 The new season of Game of Thrones. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3580 I think it's time to cancel his Amazon Prime account. His consumption patterns are out of control. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3581 Knew we shouldn't have named him 'Trump' 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3582 The shelter also said he was used to getting his way! 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3583 Why do you think they call it a catapult? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3584 You're not going to invoke the divine right of kings now, are you? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3585 you're a little bit too obsessed with the Game of Thrones 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3586 You do remember, your Highness, when you were King of the Streets and not OUR Castle? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3587 No, you may think you are royalty, but we are definitely not getting you a Twitter account. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3588 Sir Whiskers, we are bringing home a kitten; therefore, your subjects request you abdicate the throne... 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3589 Is this what they call illusions of grandeur. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3590 Trumpy Cat 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3591 The vet says to look at real life for your models of behavior, not cable news. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3592 Being treated like a king is exhausting. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3593 If we let you sleep on the bed? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3594 He actually wanted a cardboard box. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3595 He seems to think Trump is still President. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3596 It appears the emperor has no claws. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3597 We know you like the crown, but it's just too heavy. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3598 That is one fat fat cat! 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3599 How did you know I was pregnant? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3600 Maybe we should get a dog 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3601 I don't mind the crown or the throne, but I am really getting tired of hearing you say "Off with his head!" whenever you see a mouse. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3602 Listen Henry, the shelter assured us you came with nine lives, not six wives. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3603 Let's embellish her crown with our savings. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3604 I must admit, after 7 years of watching the series and reading and re-reading the books, I had NO idea you, Fluffy, were to sit on the Iron Throne. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3605 Monarchy is an outdated social construct. Let's kill him and divvy up his assets. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3606 Because of his Orange fur he thinks he's King of the World. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3607 The litter box is out,he finds them discussing and embarrassing 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3608 Uneasy lies the head, eh kitty? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3609 He is not amused. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3610 Sorry to tell you this, but it's the last season of Game of Thrones. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3611 Well, okay, maybe a LITTLE. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3612 Would you like to move your royal ass, once in a while? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3613 Maybe it's time to get a dog. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3614 Let them eat Gorgonzola. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3615 We still love you even if daddy can only scratch your head every other weekend. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3616 Talk about the dog days of summer. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3617 Wait till you try the pizzaratsi 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3618 John, it's your turn to taste-test the King's supper. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3619 Uneasy - and outside - lies the head that wears a crown. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3620 Your approval rating is fifty percent. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3621 We can't keep indulging him anymore; I think it's time for an intervention. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3622 Heavy is the head that wears the meown. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3623 He brought it in last night. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3624 Really, you'll like the new dog! 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3625 Time to cut this "King of the Beasts" kibble ration. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3626 Your cousin may be 'King of the Jungle' but this is ridiculous. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3627 Dogs have masters, cats have staff. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3628 All this after just two votes. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3629 We're just tired of being treated like dogs. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3630 Soft kitty, warm kitty 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3631 We are not putting rose petals in your litter box. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3632 Prince Puss is just a nickname. We thought you knew. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3633 Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3634 I miss Mr. Rogers, too, but... 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3635 Trump fatigue? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3636 It's alright Marmalade, there's always 2020. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3637 O.K., but we can't afford fancy custom-leather boots in your size. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3638 "You will still be ruler, but we're getting a dog". 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3639 Now, Mr. Meow, you must have known that when we said you could 'sit on the Iron Throne,' that we weren't being literal! 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3640 Your majesty, the peasants are not happy, you have been deposed by a puppy. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3641 I'm sorry, but Trump doesn't want any pets in the White House. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3642 You'll still be the king. You just won't be able to have any royal offspring. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3643 This isn't what I meant by Royal treatment 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3644 "In another life he was Henry VIII". 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3645 It's hard to call you, "Your Excellency" when we keep finding hair balls in our bed 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3646 And maybe you could stop scratching up the curtains? Sort of a noblesse oblige? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3647 House Fatpussy was not a threat to the Seven Kingdoms. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3648 Would you like a little kitten to play with? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3649 It's been such a hectic reign. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3650 His Majesty has decreed no purrs until we give him Fancy Feast twice a day. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3651 No, we're not going to take Jimmy to the gallows. We're sorry he stepped on your tail, but he's our son and we love him too. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3652 But, you've always used the litter box. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3653 We just had a couple of ideas about dinner that we hoped you might consider. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3654 She always knew it was that way, now it is confirmed. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3655 He says he'll abdicate for a mouse. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3656 We get it. You were a big cat on Animal Planet - but you're a ruler meow, and you need to act like it. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3657 "Obviously it was the Trump Beauty Contest". 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3658 Explain to me again how this makes him an emotional support animal? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3659 Well you can be the king of our jungle gym. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3660 When you said he was a fat cat from Washington, I was thinking of someone else. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3661 Looks like it's sushi again tonight. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3662 You're the one who named him 'King'! 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3663 I told you he would adapt to a multiple-cat household. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3664 He's disappointed that he isn't loved for his greed. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3665 So do we call a vet or an alchemist? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3666 We just want to help 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3667 Maybe a Tomcat would have been easier after all. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3668 All is not lost: remember that on the internet, you're a god! 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3669 Since his operation, he wants to be the mouse queen in the Nutcracker. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3670 I think he knows what happened to the dog. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3671 Well, you named him Reggie, 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3672 Still, naming him 'Rex' would be simpler. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3673 Honey, I think the cat has been watching too much Game of Thrones. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3674 Buck up, Alex, there are more Internet sites for you to conquer. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3675 Permission requested to speak to her majesty. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3676 Our King of the Mouse 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3677 He's clearly your inferior, King Puddles, but Mama's other pussy needs some love. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3678 Do you think we treat the cat well enough? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3679 This is hell. I wish they'd just stay at college during the summer. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3680 Beulah, peel me a grape. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3681 Its time to renovate the litter box 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3682 Can't we watch something besides Cat Channel? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3683 Someone grab me that pussy. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3684 Oh, these two? American purebreds! Exeptionally well-groomed but a bit uncooperative. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3685 Metaphorically speaking you no longer wear the pants in this family. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3686 Joffrey, we think you're taking this Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms a bit too far. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3687 We thank you for the opportunity and the blessing to serve your agenda. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3688 What else was he going to spend his YouTube money on? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3689 It has to be the Fancy Feast. We need to get him back on Friskies. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3690 Mr Tiggles, when we said you ruled us, we didn't mean it literally. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3691 Too much kitty porn would be my guess. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3692 Are thee not restful of thy laser pointer? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3693 We must disagree, your Majesty. Despite being king, yours does stink 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3694 We promise to smooth your transition to our benign dictatorship with a higher level tuna treats. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3695 But your grace, it was the freshest tuna in all the seven seas and freshest litter in the seven kingdoms. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3696 who said he was spoiled 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3697 So it's settled. We guillotine the dog at noon. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3698 Mommy's Kittykins IS king of all he surveys - all 220 square feet, until his fat ass can jump up to the windowsill. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3699 The good news is that your hunting privileges have not been revoked. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3700 Ok, it looks like jousting at 1pm and PETA International at 4pm. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3701 Really? You never knew that a King Charles was a type of dog? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3702 frgnnn 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3703 That's what you get for putting royal jelly in the cat food. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3704 The Fancy Feast is going to his head. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3705 Oh yes, your meow-jesty. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3706 We know you're peeved at the jester, but you need to wear full COURT dress. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3707 Methinks that Fluffy has been watching the HBO again. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3708 We never should have named him 'Tut'. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3709 So you really are the King of the Cats! 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3710 We may have taken the 'child substitute' thing too far. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3711 It’s been coming our way for several generations 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3712 Takes one to grab one. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3713 So you want the wet food, but warmed? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3714 Well, I'd say 2020 is in the bag. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3715 Think he's happy now? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3716 I don't know how to tell you, but I'm pregnant. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3717 So, where's the bird? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3718 I'm bored... 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3719 He's still upset that you bought the store brand. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3720 It's almost time for your Fancy Feast 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3721 Which of us will have the honor of changing your Majesty's litter? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3722 So, how do you like the new litter box? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3723 What should we do? He's creating his own kingdom and it's ruling us! 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3724 He's overdosed on Games of Thrones. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3725 Bored? Again? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3726 What's the matter? King got your tongue? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3727 We just think, Your Majesty, that maybe you ought to get off your throne now and then and chase a mouse or something, is all. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3728 The entitlement cuts were purely budgetary, nothing personal. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3729 Who's going to tell the emperor he has no clothes? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3730 Shakespeare meets Andrew Lloyd Webber? I'd buy tickets. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3731 Shouldn't have bought him the cape and crown; now he thinks he's the cat's meow. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3732 The thing I like the least about having him is being his loyal subject 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3733 I think he needs a horse. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3734 It's not easy barking out orders all day long. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3735 Here's the proof my WORDS WITH FRIENDS moniker of "Crazy Cat Lady" is true. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3736 Your majesty, might we be granted leave for a weekend in Lake George? Or, if it's your preference, a week in Kathmandu 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3737 Well, it does keep him from scratching the sofa. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3738 I'm sorry, you cannot declare by royal proclamation that this is now the House of Rusty. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3739 I see the emperor has no clothes. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3740 You know, he’s just the head of state, not the head of government. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3741 Okay, we'll try to find you an iron throne. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3742 Have you yet read his tweet this morning? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3743 The shelter warned us he has a tendency to be aloof. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3744 We believe he has nine distinct personalities. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3745 His name's Tybalt. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3746 They say the best leaders are those who never wanted to lead. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3747 But even we don't get to eat foie gras every day 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3748 Great taxidermy, but it takes up a lot of floor space. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3749 But not all emperors are expected to have clothes. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3750 Morris, we're sorry but we're not going to carry you over to the kitty litter box anymore. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3751 I'll cook his dinner but I will NOT kiss his ring. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3752 The pet psychologist said it would be a good idea if the cat was not in the room while we watched Game of Thrones. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3753 The queen told me she won't leave the house until her pawdicure is complete. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3754 He has no memory of being a rescue cat! 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3755 I still feel guilty we had him neutered. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3756 We should've just bought Broadway tickets... 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3757 The primary was exhausting. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3758 I know It's purple, but I still think she should apply to Harvard. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3759 So, this crowning achievement of yours…do we all need to take a little stroll out into the alley? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3760 Just deal with it, we're building self-esteem. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3761 It's look at ...not look like. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3762 No way! This time I'll be the jester and YOU'LL be the food taster! 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3763 Cats were revered as Gods by the Egyptians. They've not forgotten this. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3764 Frank, I don't care if you spent a lot of time on the outfit. It's not funny! 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3765 I'm telling you, these casting directors for the Lion King are total xenophobes. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3766 Well, Frank, it's clear to me she just doesn't want to be down at our level. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3767 How else may we serve you my Lord? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3768 In my humble opinion, Your Majesty, "King of Debt" isn't a derogatory title at all. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3769 It's not your fault you cannot produce an heir. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3770 Come on honey, all the other princes are joining Little League. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3771 I don't care that he was your mother's cat, and the heir to her entire estate....he's not going to rule my life too! 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3772 A Mrs Lovett offered to take her off our hands. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3773 Poor pussy's feeling a little down in the Trumps right now. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3774 Well, nice try, but he still thinks it's his litterbox. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3775 I don't care how much she ignores me, I will not 'bend the knee.' 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3776 He grew up in Queens in a very wealthy litter. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3777 In about 9 months, you are going to be a big brother. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3778 Some bullshit about the Upper East Side. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3779 I know he's a pimp cat who's stoned out of his mind but what other choice for 2020 democratic presidential nominee do we have? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3780 Despite your claim of starting a dynasty, we're still getting you fixed tomorrow. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3781 I think he's gotten a little full of himself. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3782 Sure we love you, but we can't afford feeding you caviar any more. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3783 Those fat cats in Congress gave me an idea. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3784 You're right... This all started last November. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3785 YouTube sent him it after his latest video topped 100 million views. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3786 I told you not to get him pajamas. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3787 Which one of you wants to be The Hand? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3788 You really need to let Egypt go. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3789 I suppose this is O.K., but you two could try a little harder. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3790 He called for his bowl. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3791 An aphorism waiting to happen if I've ever seen one 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3792 Now, about your Declaration of War against Companionship, we have some concerns… 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3793 You think we've spoiled him? 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3794 That's why we named her Princess. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3795 It's the King of Pussy, Donald Trump. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3796 But, the other staff member agrees with me that we be allowed to sit with you in the livingroom. 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3797 We wish you could relax and play a bit more. It seems the weight of your crown is getting to you. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3798 I should have been a cat. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3799 Is this what you call "Felis Envy"? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3800 Hum, must belong to Trump! 1.1282 0.07510 39 36 1 2
3801 As long as you wear the crown we will refer to you as Your Meowjesty 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3802 I told you it would be spoiling him to switch to the wet food. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3803 Harold, King Puss here, has somehow made us his vassals... 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3804 Trying to keep up with Queen Elizabeth's drinking, were we? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3805 Encouraging him run for president was a big mistake! 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3806 I'm sure when you read our resumes, you'll find our feline references are impeccable. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3807 I think reality set in once we let her outside by herself 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3808 I'm sorry mittens but we just can't afford full time palm branch wavers right now. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3809 You go catch the mouse this time. I got it last time. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3810 Let's go for the adoption litter plan. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3811 Jungle, schmungle...you'll always be #1 around here, Lester. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3812 The old dutch clock told me so and that is how I came to know. 1.1282 0.05423 39 34 5 0
3813 What a day...used up eight of my lives! 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
3814 He thinks he's a lion. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
3815 Bring me a Dog! 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3816 I told you all that wet food would spoil him. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3817 It's good to be queen. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3818 We really did think that "Cat Fur Cape" meant it was made FOR cats... 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3819 Being that you're already orange, the tweet said the cape and crown would make you happy. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3820 Well, you may be king out there. But I'm telling you: It's not a jungle in here. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3821 Maybe we pushed him too hard 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3822 OUR DEMICAT WANTS TO BE KING ! 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3823 We've put the pussy on a pedestal. 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
3824 So sorry but that's your uncle Leo. 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
3825 Listen, Puss! You knew your boots were history as soon as King Donald got his tiny paws on them! 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3826 I told you he was getting too big for his britches. 1.1250 0.07327 40 37 1 2
3827 I feel his sovereignty may be dwindling since the last banquet. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3828 Rescued from the Royal Acatemy. "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3829 His majesty commands you to fetch the newspaper. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3830 Sic transit gloria mundi. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3831 Really, he didn't mean it-- "fat cat" is just an expression. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3832 The vet says to cut down on the wet food. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3833 Well, he finally got around to naming himself "king"...... maybe we should name him The Donald......? 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3834 Well, we can at least be pleased that the mouse population has diminished. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3835 Smarten up. Cats have the edge. Always had the edge. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3836 Shall I prepare his litter? 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3837 I am leaving you. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3838 He binged seasons 3 through 6 of GOT 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
3839 " I hate the way he lords it over us. Where did we go wrong?" ? 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3840 The palace job is too big. He wants to abdiCat.. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3841 No! I didn't mean put this kind of reign on Roscoe's behavior. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3842 I told you I'd pay you a percentage in royalties. But since my cat ate my checkbook, I'm making an indirect deposit. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3843 We think you need a 'cattitude' adjustment. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3844 Being a mascot is clearly your passion and you are so, so good at it. But there just isn't a scholarship offered at any of the schools we visited. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3845 We're very sorry, Reginald, we just can't get you a horse." 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3846 Who knew you could knit? 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3847 At least he lets us feed him. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3848 It's tough being the king of beasts when you are only a pussy cat! 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3849 We went to a protest. She lost a bet. Don't ask. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
3850 This wasn't what I had in mind for my penultimate life. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3851 We warned you. Heavy lies the cat that wears the crown. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3852 Yes, king is better than President. Yes it is. Yes it is. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3853 It's his take on King Lear and Cat in s Hat. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3854 No, really. No jungle. No king. Just a liter box and the back yard. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3855 It all happened after Trump made a speech about cats being superior to dogs. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3856 Winning the mouse eating contest may not have been worth it 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3857 Do you think we could trim his nails now? 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
3858 Tabby is suffering from his delusions again! 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3859 The 'royal we' wish you would stop pussyfooting around and buy the damn sectional." 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3860 It's good to be king. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3861 Carry me in my litter box and I will regale you with gems! 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3862 President Trump doesn't understand the true meaning of 'Fat Cat'. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3863 Look Mr. Winkles, for the last time, you are forbidden to watch HBO ever again.We just got over the vampire thing. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3864 They don't allow cats in the White House so we're house sitting for you until he gets back. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3865 He won, but he wasn't popular with the colonies. 1.1250 0.06393 40 36 3 1
3866 I hate to break it to you, but King Felix pitches for the Mariners. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3867 Steve, you let King rule our lives when he was alive, and now he's gone.... well THIS is where I draw the line! 1.1250 0.07327 40 37 1 2
3868 He prefers Empurrer Sniffles now. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3869 She is not amused, Dad. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3870 So, what DO you do all day as king? 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3871 You can't just wear your Halloween costume every day. 1.1250 0.05296 40 35 5 0
3872 Was it that spaying thing, m'lady? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
3873 Winning the Milk Chugger Royal Crown sounds great, we get that, but look at what it's done to you. You're lactose intolerant for goodness sake! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
3874 We think you have put on the right attitude......now let's work on gaining WEALTH! 1.1220 0.05174 41 36 5 0
3875 Funny how they think they are in charge of a home. 1.1220 0.06242 41 37 3 1
3876 Leos don't suffer as much as we think. They ascend the throne and wait for conditions to improve. 1.1220 0.06242 41 37 3 1
3877 We'll help you find your boots. 1.1220 0.06242 41 37 3 1
3878 DSH or not, we are yours forever! 1.1220 0.06242 41 37 3 1
3879 Who knew, all those years the vet said he needed to lose weight, that the taxidermist would make it happen. 1.1220 0.07153 41 38 1 2
3880 Lately it seems you've been getting delusions of grandeur. 1.1220 0.06242 41 37 3 1
3881 He says, who knew a ban on visitors from canine-majority neighborhoods could be so complicated? He thought being King would be easier. 1.1220 0.05174 41 36 5 0
3882 It's only your 8th life, you still have one more coming. 1.1220 0.06242 41 37 3 1
3883 I told you, we just should have named him 'Fluffy.' 1.1220 0.06242 41 37 3 1
3884 Rex 'omnia' doesn't mean EAT everything. More like 'moderation in ALL things". 1.1220 0.07153 41 38 1 2
3885 I told you not to get him a fancy litter box. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3886 Permission to speak, your Highness? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
3887 I think you and Fluffy Purratheon need to stop binge-watching Game of Thrones 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
3888 I hope his first born is female. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
3889 'The King & I"? I don't know. Seems like a stretch. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
3890 She looks pregnant how can we afford to dress the offspring? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
3891 Would you consider at least disavowing the rats, if they can't be eliminated? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
3892 The Emperor Has No Clothes is just a story. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
3893 We know leadership is hard. But catering to your needs makes us feel like we are realizing our full potential. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
3894 Your Majesty, the vet is here to lop the Royal Balls off. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
3895 Tiger, of House Thompson, first of his name. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
3896 We should never have let him consolidate power. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
3897 I think he's suffering from dillusions of lionhood. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
3898 No, it's not just how cats are. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
3899 Your majesty, as your most trusted and loyal advisor, I have to tell you that the Exchequer of the Royal Kitchen has replaced your favored brand of cat food with a less expensive one… 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
3900 He had 2 million hits on you tube now he thinks who the heck he is. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
3901 Where did you hide the remote, son? 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
3902 He's promising to make the animal world great again. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
3903 I don't care if your great-aunt bequeathed HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS to you, we're in no position to entertain royalty. 1.1176 0.07020 34 31 2 1
3904 She is overdoing the "Fat Cat Syndrome". 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
3905 Maybe the crown'a a little too much? 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
3906 He's taking "Cat King" a little too seriously. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
3907 Is he dead yet? 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
3908 His Majesty is just practising alcohol 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
3909 Does buckwheat want a belly rub? 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
3910 I wanted a King Charles Spaniel! 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
3911 This happens every time he watches the Wizard of Oz. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
3912 Jealous! Do you want to see my claws? 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
3913 I warned you that naming him Rex Mundi would be a mistake. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
3914 Crown or no crown, he's no longer a standup cat. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
3915 Sure, you're the queen of the house, but you still have to use the cat box. 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
3916 Well, Doctor, I can't put my finger on it, but since his last role in 'Pets3' he seems to have some sort of superiority complex.... 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
3917 He was just king for a day. 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
3918 He evidently feels everything is just purrfect. 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
3919 According the shelter he studied at RADA. 1.1143 0.06825 35 32 2 1
3920 That’s the king’s way. 1.1143 0.05456 35 31 4 0
3921 OK, you can scratch the furniture if you want, but you can't go to the White House. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
3922 So . . . your new title is Purrfection? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
3923 What a predicament! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
3924 I told you we shouldn't have called her Catrine of Aragon. 1.1132 0.05815 53 49 2 2
3925 No, no, you kiss him first. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3926 Now, PLEASE tell us where you left the remote control! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3927 So, the audition was for the R-A-T King… And he got it 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3928 Alright, so Scratch Daddy was a really poor name choice. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3929 But my one and only life is spent pampering him. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3930 You feel you need more staff? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3931 The vet said the next time he bit me to crown him. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3932 it is with a profound sense of patriotism and respect for your office, sir, that I report that we're going to put you down because you won't stop pissing 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3933 Maybe you'd have more friends if you dropped the Royalty Cat crap? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3934 Noo, Lassie is NOT coming home. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3935 No more Garfield. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3936 "frightened a little mouse under her chair" doesn't cut it mister. What did you really do there? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3937 Do you think he's happy? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3938 Heavy meows the head... 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3939 I think all those YouTube views have gone to your head. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3940 Regardless of your lineage......you're still going to the vet to get neutered. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3941 Removing the string from the stone must have been exhausting. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3942 Her Majesty's subjects hit 3 million and counting on Youtube. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3943 I can't believe we chose you over a puppy three years ago. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3944 Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown that has no twitter followers. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3945 We've overdone the 'cat lover' thing? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3946 Where did this crazy Twitter account idea come from? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3947 It's unlikely that mice cause gout, but the vet wants to be extra cautious. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3948 Your swish is my command. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3949 So no more ottoman, huh? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3950 King Tweety needs a cat nap. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3951 I was expecting a different 'Lion King'. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3952 ...is it just me or has his entitlement enslaved us? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3953 Well in all fairness Game of Thrones is a really good show. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3954 see? I told you we should have gotton a dog. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3955 Naming her "Daenerys, Mother of Kittens" may not be my only problem. 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
3956 Don't get used to it, Misty; Jack Bailey's coming back tomorrow. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3957 You expected something different? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3958 Sire, we sorely regret the Ahi tuna was not up to the usual standard. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3959 We warned you that being king would not be a walk in the park. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3960 I am not convinced Charles Darwin was right.... 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3961 We beg a favor, Sire. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3962 I'm sorry. When we took you in,we thought you were a feral cat, not a pharaoh cat. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3963 QUICK, RUB HIS BELLY WHILE HE'S SLEEPING..... 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3964 Oh King Cat-man-do, meowousiful sovereign, how may we serve you? 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
3965 The dogs are angry and massing at the front yard. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3966 He overheard our call to the dog rescue. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3967 Let the dog eat cake 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
3968 I think the success of his YouTube channel has gone to his head. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3969 We sure hope that "First Cat" appointment works out for you! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3970 The majestic king of the living room. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3971 She thinks she rules the house. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3972 Should we call him Gluttonous the First of the Letmicerun Dynasty. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3973 Couldn't we have had him creamated like most people do ? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3974 I didn't know this is how you and mom feel about me living at home. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3975 If there's no jungle here, is he still the king? 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
3976 He hasn't said a meow in 2 days. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3977 Fido's agreed to relinquish the sun porch for the foot of the bed, plus a pound of catnip. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3978 No, I'm pretty sure the expression is 'Cash is King.' 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
3979 I know Baxter, but Halloween is over now. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3980 I told you not to mention "his rump". 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3981 Do you think we should have made him do chores? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3982 It's the Napoleon complex. Hopeless! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3983 I think he misunderstood what you meant by "teaching a cat to sit in the throne". 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3984 Tell me again, which one of his nine lives is this? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3985 He even thinks purring is beneath him. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3986 How let's get the dog stuffed. 1.1111 0.06531 45 42 1 2
3987 I really don't think we spoil him any more than other house cats. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3988 I think we should cut back on the royal kibbles. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3989 Ennui is perfectly normal at this stage of the game. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3990 We have to go away for the weekend. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3991 A mouse, a mouse, my kingdom for a mouse! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3992 I think the power went to his head. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3993 Of course he's depressed, he just saw the revival of The Merry Wives of Windsor. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3994 Because 120 million views 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
3995 Honey, do you think we're spoiling the kitty? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3996 Don't fret Puss, Zappos guaranteed delivery tomorrow. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3997 Honey, you got to tell him...this show has closed ! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3998 You are tired of mice? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
3999 I told you Trump University was a mistake. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4000 ...but what happened to your shoes? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4001 Sire, keeping order with Claw Enforcement has to stop. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4002 He came with the apartment 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4003 Well,Your Highness,did you save room for dessert? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4004 We need to catnip this in the bud 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4005 I realize we do his bidding but isn't this going a bit far? 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4006 Honey, it's never too late to overthrow the cat. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4007 You just seem, well, uneasy. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4008 I warned you about the power of the... 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4009 I think obedience school is out of the question. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4010 Are we playing king of the jungle again? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4011 Enough Game of Thrones for the Cat 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4012 Nobody knew how hard it is to be king. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4013 He deserves so much better. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4014 "Well, you did name him Louie Catorze". 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4015 ANOTHER ONE?!! (And you thought you had office problems) 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4016 I want a divorce. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4017 Honey, your Mother & I are concerned about your social life. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4018 I told you we shouldn't have named her Princess. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4019 Despite it, she still licks her own crotch. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4020 Meow down! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
4021 The paunch that launched a thousand scat chips. 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
4022 You know I've always been a cat person but you're making me have my doubts. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4023 Rub my belly you peasant! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4024 I've come to a decision: Cut me in two, and you shall each have half 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4025 You knew that I was in a relationship when we started dating. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4026 He needs some mice to torture. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4027 No, but you'll always have our honesty. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4028 Perhaps castration will de-regalize your highness. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4029 The diagnosis was Royal Malaise. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4030 It's okay, you're still the cat's meow. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4031 It's about time you learned, there's more than one ruler in the animal kingdom. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4032 OK--Here's the plan. Wet Food for breakfast and dinner, dry food for lunch. Undisturbed nap times at my discretion and access to all beds. Lastly, if I can't have real mice to play with don't bother with toys. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4033 Do you now understand why I advised against taking him to "Richard III"? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4034 This is starting to feel like a kleptocracy. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4035 He has never been the same since he dragged home that ermine he thought was a rat. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4036 I told you to take it easy on the Fancy Feast 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4037 The Emperor Has No Spine. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4038 He started wearing the crown after eating a Monarch butterfly. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4039 He wants to move to the White House with The Donald. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4040 Why so glum,Tom? That thing was ruling you. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4041 Couple is forced to wrestle with "Spoiled Only Cat Syndrome" 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4042 I’m wondering if adopting a cat named “ennui” was a good idea 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4043 She has been impossible to live with since her video become #1 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4044 Now it's going to get really bad; the few you left will undoubtedly increase their reproductive rate. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4045 You're The King of Mew York? 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
4046 When he went Paleo I didn't think he'd ONLY eat foie gras and lobster 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4047 Her Majesty's litter is ready. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4048 No,No, not "My kingdom for catnip" again! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4049 I told you we shouldn't have names him Tybalt. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4050 Do you really think Donald will try to grab this? 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
4051 Who knew that Trump Fever was an interspecies contagion. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4052 I think maybe you've given her a complex. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4053 I thought all we really wanted was a mouser. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4054 Do you think he's a bit too entitled? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4055 'Look, just because you have an ancestor that was king of the jungle....' 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4056 I'm worried his crown isn't big enough! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4057 You know what they say -- uneasy lies the cat that wears a crown. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4058 He prefers the term beneficent autocat. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4059 Maybe I *am* spending a little too much on premium cat food. 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
4060 Henry IV was a terrible choice. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4061 No, it's a cat-ass-trophy. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4062 For your own good, we've decided to implement a news black out. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4063 I told you it was a bad idea to name him "Trump". 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4064 I still say you should plump for 'Muffy the First'. . . 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4065 Sorry, Leo. The concrete jungle doesn't count. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4066 Sire, the people demand to know who's an adorable fuzzy-wuzzy little monarch. Sooner or later you must issue a proclamation that you are, yes you are, yes yes yes. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4067 When you named him Henry, what did you expect? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4068 I think we need to cut back on those "Wizard of Oz" re-runs. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4069 I guess canned cat food is not an option tonight. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4070 Despite what you feel, this is not a monarchy. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4071 We'd better check on the dog. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4072 All those leaks by the mice are really getting to you, aren't they, Your Highness? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4073 An edict concerning the mice in the kitchen isn't quite the action we were hoping for. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4074 - we're really sorry, but we just haven't got room for "horses and men" 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4075 And even if you are royalty, cat food stays the same. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4076 you can't expect your tweets to solve every problem. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4077 This is not how you go about changing your name, Chester. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4078 I said, 'You're feeding him too much of that expensive brand...' You said, 'Come on, we can indulge our kitty a bit!' I said,"....!" 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4079 It's either me or Instagram, Harold. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4080 Sorry, the new kitty is not one of your subjects 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4081 '"Harold, if you did put something in her bowl, you need to tell me." 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4082 But adding diamonds to the litter box is where we draw the line. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4083 You'll think you were king to if I fed, clean up and stroke your head everyday! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4084 So, you wanted a dog? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4085 Allow me to present Sprinkles Rex, Lord of House 2272 North Sunset Lane and Warden of North Cherry Avenue. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4086 The judge says we each get half. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4087 I'm sorry. The proverb says you can look at a king, not be one. 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
4088 If we really play 'Game of Thrones,' does the Atskay know what's umingskay? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4089 He hasn't been the same since you mentioned abdication. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4090 I told you the canned food would spoil him. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4091 What makes him think we are back in feudal times? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4092 We thought you'd like a throne, instead of a litter box. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4093 Aie confiance, Pousse Pousse. L'Etat c'est toi 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4094 Maybe it is time to think about having an actual child of our own. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4095 I believe your dad and I attributed properties to you that you don't really possess. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4096 morris the remorse 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4097 A jewel-encrusted gold litter box might be taking things too far. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4098 But really - the Pied Piper is just a story. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4099 So I guess we will need a King size bed 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4100 Well, I simply chose the least qualified member of this household to lead us 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4101 She came with the house. The previous owners were big 'Game of Thrones' fans. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4102 Tell me how long you have felt this way. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4103 But you weren't bored lazing about before you were crowned. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4104 I refuse to sing "God save the Queen" ! 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4105 We're well past the dry food versus wet food discussion. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4106 That's just the lions, Mr. Sparkle. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4107 Next time, less CataTonic. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4108 Sorry, you simply can't eat any more of our children. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4109 He looks like he's drunk with power! 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
4110 I think we're ready to compete with friends and neighbors pets. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4111 I knew we shouldn't have named him Cole. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4112 Sire, due to economic uncertainty in the kingdom, we are afraid that going forward, our feasts will have to be much less fancy. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4113 We were wondering if it might be possible to take the next weekend off. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4114 I say throw the bum out--he leaked all over our white house. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4115 We should never have named you Mufasa! 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4116 We would have cleaned the litterbox even without the royal decree... 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4117 We thank you for the opportunity and the blessing to serve your agenda. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4118 I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4119 Donald the Lionheart 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4120 Yes, of course the crowd at your coronation was the biggest ever. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4121 Tiger-ball, have you been hanging around Mercutio again? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4122 I feel like we just don't communicate the way we did before feudalism. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4123 I guess his bird-chasing days are over. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4124 He must be thinking about running for political office. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4125 We should probably stop buying him Fancy Feast. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4126 Honey, now that it's legal it's stronger. You must adjust your dose. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4127 I call him King Katz. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4128 Next time I think I'd prefer a dog. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4129 We named you King because we liked the name, not to honor you as royalty. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4130 I knew it was a mistake to call him Trump. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4131 Alas, the Co-Op board rejected your catnip garden. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4132 Well . . . I did happen to mention to the taxidermist that you always hated Arthur because he thought he was the King of your castle. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4133 Weary lies the head that wears the crown, eh? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4134 We need to cut him off from watching CNN. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4135 We should have never let him watch Lion King. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4136 It's not what you thought it would be, is it? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4137 The speech was going great-- until I spat up a hairball. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4138 He's upset because you won't call him Joffrey. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4139 "Puppies or kittens?' 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4140 The decision came down to performance, we will be using sticky traps going forward. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4141 Better slow down on that new catnip. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4142 He says what we've heard is true - 'Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.' 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4143 I told you that new cat food was too good for him. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4144 He's been so finicky ever since he has his heirs beheaded. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4145 Seriously Mooch. What did you think would happen when you called the genie a Royal F**** Pussy? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4146 It’s not that our feelings for you have changed. It’s that we wonder if things have gotten a little…asymmetric. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4147 I could never get the dog to wear the crown. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4148 ...another thing, the cat food is terrible! 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4149 We're lucky he lets us serve him. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4150 Once he saw that documentary on lions, he insisted on being named "King of the Condo." 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
4151 Can't we teach him to golf at least? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4152 We're thinking of getting a dog. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4153 ...well, we told you not to contact ancestry.com. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4154 "Let Them Eat Rubberbands" has effectively scared the cats, Your Highness, but the dogs are simply confused. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4155 I told to keep him away from anything that tweets. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4156 And you had me spayed? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4157 I don’t care what it says on Wikipedia, Cleopatra is just a name 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
4158 This restaurant has the most amazing pepperoni paparazzi pizza! 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4159 Think of it as getting a baby brother. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4160 I think he misses his scratch pole. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
4161 One day he started bragging about grabbing pussy, and it was downhill from there. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4162 Trust me. He is not coming for you. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4163 I see your book if finally paying royalties. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4164 Well, you did name him 'Rex', dear. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4165 I drew the largest audience ever, period! Hmmmm...needed ketchup 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4166 He really needs the Blue Royal Scepter. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4167 I don't know if this extermination service is worth it. 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
4168 I can't take this anymore... 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4169 Well, he does have a distant cousin who is king of the jungle. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4170 Maybe we are spoiling him too much. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4171 The shedding stopped, but it still looks insecure. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4172 Don't look at me. I didn't take his scepter. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4173 No, you tell him! 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4174 DT- you don't look so good... 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4175 Everyone's dead. The throne is yours. Now what? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
4176 Sure, we could have named you Simba, but I liked Sylvester for reasons I won't get into. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4177 A lot of our favorite people die on GOT. We all have to deal with it. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4178 I think we've said that we're "cat people" one too many times 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4179 You think we made a mistake when we named him King? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4180 We told you that twitter account was a bad idea. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4181 And now he wants an en suite. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4182 So, now that you're comfortable, the vet says you've got cancer. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4183 We were thinking about going out later; would your majesty okayeth? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4184 We have to talk. It's about the moat. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4185 I'll let you know when I'm ready to go out. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4186 The king wants a bigger throne. And more food. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4187 So I quests we're watching Game of Thrones 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4188 This is what happens when you give him the HBO Go password 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4189 Between us, that grumpy cat has more followers. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4190 Cats have nine lives and this one parties hard because he knows it. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4191 Here’s the thing, when we named you King Meow Meow, we didn’t think you would take the honorific title to heart. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4192 Feline comes from the Latin 'felonious.' 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4193 Yes, it IS good to be Cat, but a bit exhausting, yes? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4194 Your robe is 100% lion's mane. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4195 He let that cat show win go to his head. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4196 I think he'd prefer an iron throne. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4197 That's why they call it a rat RACE. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4198 Honey, ask your brother, Kermit; it's not easy being queen. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4199 He's been like this ever since the Red Wedding episode. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4200 Prince Phillip knows exactly how you feel. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4201 I told you he's to drunk to be a king 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4202 Hard, being king feline rat killer at Trump Tower. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4203 Comfy? 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4204 We want you to be comfortable but not *too* comfortable. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4205 OMG, it looks like she is growing a 5th leg! 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4206 I've decided to abdicate for the tabby next door. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4207 Honey, I told you this would be a (cat)astrophy. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4208 I was sure it was "AT a king," not "LIKE a king," but I guess you were right. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4209 We really ought to stop lionizing Tiger. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4210 King of the Jungle!?!? This is Park Slope. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4211 John and Sasha's social clout had taken a serious turn since the kids had got past the 'cute' stage. Drastic action was needed. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4212 Just because your name is Donald doesn't entitle you to act like this. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4213 'He thought the Deluxe kit came with a sceptre.' 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4214 And such tiny paws, no wonder we named him after him. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4215 He's a Trumpish Rex 1.1111 0.07744 36 34 0 2
4216 We need to talk.. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4217 In actuality, he has really small hands, tweets like a bird, and isn’t grabby in the slightest. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4218 Not born with a silver spoon, just a silver litter box. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4219 He refuses to leave his throne for the litter box; elimination is tantamount to abdication. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4220 It's not that your birth mom didn't love you, she just wanted you to have better opportunities. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4221 Who knew tuna was this complicated? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4222 We should not have told him about his pedigree. 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4223 We're sorry King Kitty but the power of your pur-suasion has dissipated, and this cathletic thing is no longer working for us. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4224 I'm sorry, but pregnancy test was positive. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4225 You cannot go out, it is not a sanctuary city 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4226 How may we serve you, King Kitty Cat? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4227 So, the new kibble met your expectations? 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4228 Cattitude 1.1111 0.06640 36 33 2 1
4229 He's been like this ever since he chased that mouse away. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4230 The pheasantry is stewing, sure. 1.1111 0.05312 36 32 4 0
4231 The producer said I took his idea of a fat cat too literally. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
4232 The hairball toupees just might pay our mortgage! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4233 They call me the Master of Whiskers. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4234 His family line is king of some jungle. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4235 Oh no, Majesty! Dieting would not demean your splendid royal image! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4236 "All that Fancy Feast is going to his head". 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
4237 You do realize that this is a dream, right? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4238 We are so grateful we get to care for you. Really. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4239 We should have never given him the Royal Canin. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4240 I know you don't like him, but he'll win you over with his treachery 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4241 Heavy is the head that protects you from that laser pointer. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4242 You need to stop watching the Wizard of Oz!" 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4243 I think it's pyjamas time. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4244 You're Fired! 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4245 He says he wants to abdicate. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4246 He says he's leaving us for the Trump Administration. We're not yuuuge enough. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4247 I knew we shouldn't have named him Joffrey. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4248 I think there were too many blackbirds in that pie 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4249 Too much CNN.... 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4250 he's been diposed since the House of Great Dane moved in 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4251 Next time please verify the cat show has trophies for all participants. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4252 I can only imagine what we'll have to do with the litter box next. 1.1081 0.07537 37 35 0 2
4253 So tell me again about that Mark Twain story. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4254 The store called it the Trump accessory package. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4255 No boots, no video. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4256 Do not despair your highness, your latest roar received great ratings! 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4257 The vet said because she is blind, it's all about the material. 1.1081 0.07537 37 35 0 2
4258 Oh-nay ore-may oyal-ray eevee-tay eries-say. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4259 You want us to do what with the dog? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4260 We overdid the royal treatment. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4261 Maybe we could try pampering him a little. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4262 She says the dog abdicated for the French poodle down the street. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4263 Your father and I are getting divorced. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4264 EdiePus, How were you to know that she was your mom. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4265 He says he caught a mouse in the backyard which entitles him to be king. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4266 I know the therapist said we should treat him like royalty, but he's still no match for the Nutcracker's Mouse King. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4267 Being King Of The Beasts isn't what it used to be. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4268 Now Fluffy, don't you remember how it was at the shelter? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4269 I think she likes the pirate costume better. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4270 King Snarlemagne and his trusted advisors. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4271 He thinks he's Trump 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4272 Someone get them a dog. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4273 This started when POTUS told men to grab others' cats. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4274 So what's the line of succession? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4275 He was the unexpected winner in the other 2016 election, for the King of Beasts, and now finds he is overwhelmed. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4276 But you said you like it when I take risks. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4277 We never should have let her sleep on the bed 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4278 He's been like this since the Miceacarta was signed 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4279 Is my little Cat King cold? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4280 At least we have our priorities right. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4281 Try not to worry, kitty Putin also had set backs. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4282 Honey, where's the dog? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4283 Remember, son, uneasy lies the cat that wears a crown. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4284 Yes we miss Snuffles too. So you remember how warm and snuggly her fur was, well...... 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4285 NOW do you wish we had kids? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4286 I just don't know where her attitude comes from. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4287 And now you wonder why little prince fluffy thighs has an attitude of entitlement. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4288 whose the pussy now? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4289 We promise, will be back the very next day. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4290 The mice refuse to pay for the exterminator. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4291 She ate the mouse she caught and she now acts like the king of beasts. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4292 Would you like us to bring you more cups to knock over? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4293 Yes, we know you like it but you have to let other kitties have a turn at renting it 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4294 It's not what it looks like-- I have a crown, too. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4295 Maybe we should slow it down with the game of thrones marathon 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4296 Well, I saw a mouse this morning so this didn't work. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4297 He thinks he's the King of the Siamese. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4298 He's bummed out that 'The Lion King' isn't available on Netflix. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4299 He voted Remain. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4300 He's been this way ever since I told him his hair and his belly made him look just like Donald Trump. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4301 Yes, I like him much better than our son as well. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4302 Why resist? This is reality. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4303 You see Dr. Perez, Boots looks up to our President and it-- it worries me. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4304 Your majesty, the kingdom's vet, who is terrific, says you are in perfect shape. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4305 Your Majesty, when our guests arrive, please remove the crown. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4306 Looks like curiosity almost killed him. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4307 Your Meow-ness, we have a mouse problem and are asking for your assistance. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4308 It's time to talk 401K 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4309 Your Majesty, how does mouse fricasee with catnip dressing sound? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4310 But what would He have us do? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4311 I didn't think he would take game of thrones that seriously ...... 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4312 Poor thing...was sitting in front of the tv when they reran that part about the President grabbing pussy. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4313 Of course he's depressed...the youtube video never went viral. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4314 ---whereas, in a constitutional monarchy, a monarch does not have absolute power, but rather, is a ceremonial leader. You see? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4315 Honey, I warned you not to name him Louis XIV. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4316 At least he doesn't have access to the nuclear code. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4317 Gender reveal party? We don't even know who the prince is. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4318 It's hard to tell what's a command and what's an offhand remark. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4319 Uneasy lies the head that loses Sir Squeaky Mouse. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4320 The taxidermist really let his imagination run wild with our little Harry. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4321 The common folk refuse to clean your gilded litter box. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4322 Hand over the mouse, Elvis. Daddy wants to watch football. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4323 Well, I give up. He still refuses to use his litterbox. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4324 We'd like to talk to you about mouse guillotines. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4325 Please stop calling us your subjects. It's demeaning. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4326 The Imperial Margarine went to his waist and his crown. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4327 I really think we'd be great parents. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4328 I'm done with the rat race. I've changed careers. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4329 King's own horses and men can't even put him back together again. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4330 What do you mean "we're fired"!? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4331 Honestly, if it keeps him from scratching the door, Flotsam can act the king in here all he likes. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4332 Did you order Papperoni or Papperozzi? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4333 Steak or lobster? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4334 Miss US Pussy Pageant contestant levels complaint of grabbing by pageant organizer. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4335 Chipmunks can't genuflect, dear. 1.1081 0.07537 37 35 0 2
4336 Food or nap sir? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4337 Let the mice eat cake. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4338 If one more person submits "It's good being the king" I'll barf on your Keds. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4339 Our cat rules. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4340 We need a hobby. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4341 It's a man's home is his castle, not a cat's home; and it's just a figure of speech. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4342 It is absolutely not because you are self-obsessed, vapid, and meow lies. The media is simply biased against orange cats. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4343 Would you like to try being queen for a day? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4344 Would you like your saucer of milk now, Your Meowness, or after your nap? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4345 Impeach her? But I constitute her political base. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4346 Queeny we don't know how to tell you but our new apartment is in a pet free building. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4347 Almost there. Now he just needs a chain of office. Ruby or Emerald? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4348 I'm feline like the title has gone to his head. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4349 He's taken his royalty to a whole new level. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4350 So, Fancy Feast for dinner tonight sire? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4351 Your Highness you're only Feline. You can't blamed yourself for not forseeing the coral reef destruction. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4352 Not sure where he's been. Gone for three weeks and now all he can say is the ogre is giving him irritable bowels. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4353 Actually, it reveals your cosmopolitan bias to a shocking degree. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4354 he's suffering from lese majeste 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4355 Honey, you'd think he would show his royal subjects at least a little attention. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4356 He thinks he's related to the King of the Jungle. 1.1081 0.07537 37 35 0 2
4357 Auditioning for The Wizard of Oz? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4358 Every reign comes to an end, it's time for you to go outside. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4359 Should we grab him? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4360 The TRUE "feline complex" 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4361 Well, not exactly; upgrading the litterbox is not on the list of items that we need to discuss. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4362 He doesn't want tuna anymore, only caviar. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4363 You just can't cat around all night and then act entitled all day. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4364 King of the jungle, NOT the living room! 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4365 Cheer up Rollie, your base adores you. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4366 I wish we had gotten a dog... 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4367 I think that video we posted of him went to his head. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4368 In my 9th life I'de like to be a King Charles Spaniel 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4369 And we're going to call her "Princess"... 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4370 It's alright, Henry. You're the king of OUR jungle. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4371 one mouse , haven't you taken this far enough Felix 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4372 I'm allergic to monarchs. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4373 You didn't really say that our house was a "real dump" did you? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4374 Royalty never means to get between commoners. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4375 Donald is one fat cat 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4376 This catnip kingpin really changed you, man. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4377 The president grabs him once and he thinks he's royalty... 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4378 Do you think he needs anything? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4379 I'm thinking some family therapy...... 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4380 Don't worry your Highness, when we return from dinner your leftovers won't be in a doggie bag. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4381 We should have known better, your grace. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4382 I think the kittens look exactly like you. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4383 We sense attitude. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4384 It's the new King od Catalonia 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4385 I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4386 This isn't going to get you out of a bath, your majesty. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4387 If Best in Show isn't enough, have you considered politics? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4388 Non. Le chat, c'esr toi. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4389 It all began when I started cleaning out the cat box every day. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4390 Sweetie, this has to stop. We're not buying you the play castle with moat and you don't have the divine right to eat the dog's food. 1.1081 0.07537 37 35 0 2
4391 Fat cats these days, acting like they're royalty! 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4392 When we said you wore no clothes we meant it literally, not figuratively. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4393 I told you not to name him Herod and how does he know I'm pregnant? 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4394 Carl, we really need to discuss these feelings of grandiosity. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4395 She seems to get the Queen for a Day bit. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4396 Yes, you are a puppet. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4397 It appears that she drank more than her 4 alcoholic beverage for the day. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4398 Now is the winter of our discatent. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4399 We're not going to address you as your highness. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4400 I didn't know Trump had a cat. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4401 It started with eating at the table, but now I don't think it is a stage anymore. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4402 He says in a past life he was a lion. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4403 The royal belly rubber 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4404 Heavy is the head that wears the crown, eh, Mr. Sprinkles? 1.1081 0.07537 37 35 0 2
4405 We're just asking that you consider the possibility of abdication. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4406 So Rexy, Mommy and Daddy got you some nice fresh sashimi for your dinner tonight. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4407 Uneasy lies the slouch that wears the crown! 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4408 Millennial moggie catches mouse. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4409 What happened to Rex the Wonder Dog? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4410 Cat as trophy 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4411 He definitely looks catatonic to me. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4412 It is a dog-eat-dog world out there! 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4413 It's your turn to clean the litter box. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4414 He's calling for his Fiddlers Three. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4415 We don't mind cleaning the litter box, but we will not "bend the knee before thee." 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4416 Let them eat kibbled. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4417 Playing King of the Jungle can be exhausting work. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4418 Naming him Ivan the Terrible isn't helping with US - Russian relations. 1.1081 0.06465 37 34 2 1
4419 Gold fleck kitty litter. Is that really a thing? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4420 He still seems unhappy. What more should we do? 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4421 What we are saying is that we can serve on bended knee in spirit but not in practice. 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
4422 I told you not to feed him margarine! 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4423 So we wanted to talk to you about fluffy going to doggie heaven. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4424 The Vet says he's suffering from delusions of grandeur. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4425 The White House made us an offer on your crown and robe that we can't refuse. 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4426 Darling, there's something we've been trying to find a way to tell you: we love you, and this shouldn't change anything...but you're adopted. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4427 Hey, I loved Henry first. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4428 When he's exhausted chasing ermine, he consoles himself wearing it. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4429 How would you feel if you were now Felix the Ninth? 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4430 He used to live at 725 5th Avenue. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4431 Where are the cat's pajamas? 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4432 It all started when we gave him the Throne. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4433 It's hell being the first cat. They expect so much of you. 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4434 I never SAID the fur on the cloak was ermine. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4435 I was binge-watching "The Crown" and it started about episode six. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4436 But why would you want a horse? 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4437 We shouldn't have named him Donald 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4438 Yesterday he was dressed like Caesar! 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4439 Yeah, but then I remember Trump and ... honestly, I don't regret wishing on that cursed monkey's paw at all. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4440 Who would have thought that Donald trump would have finally been reincarnated as a cat? 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4441 I asked you to gather here to tell you both how much I hate this cat. 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4442 I don't think we should have played the "Lion King" CD so much. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4443 The St. Crispin's Day soliloquy was really, very tiring! 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4444 I gathered his subjects last time. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4445 Her majesty has requested that we only serve her swordfish for the next month. 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4446 Do you really want me to chose between the two of you? 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4447 Well; no one to blame We voted for him! 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
4448 These Fancy Feasts are getting out of hand 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4449 Staff, stand by! 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
4450 Turns out, an heir can't ascend until after my ninth life. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
4451 It may be time to bring back the TV. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
4452 We think this is taking Fat Cat just a bit too far. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
4453 Should we send hime to college? Done that! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
4454 Now that the cats out of the bag, Susan we need to talk. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
4455 it is with a profound sense of patriotism and respect for your office, sir, that I report that we're going to put you down because you won't stop pissing and shitting 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
4456 It's your turn to play the jester. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
4457 May we lay on you yet, your majesty? 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
4458 Please may we leave you to go to Gramma's funeral..? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
4459 Methinks Falstaff has hit the sack again. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
4460 And you say he ate the entire rat king? 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
4461 He's way beyond the cat's meow. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
4462 Do you think the catdom will survive ? 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
4463 O.K. king for the day is over.back to the urban jungle for you dude. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
4464 Yeah, I guess I do kinda spoil him. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
4465 Guess the vet got confused between neutered and spayed. 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
4466 Ancestry.com traced my lineage back to Cleopatra's cat, "Pussums". 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
4467 he thinks he's Burt Lahr. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
4468 Another mouse, your majesty? 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
4469 We need fitting Tweets. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
4470 For my pregnancy you bought me a moo-moo. 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
4471 Meow. 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
4472 If you have something to tell me, say it quickly. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4473 And we *still* don't have health insurance. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
4474 I KNOW she wanted to play queen-for-the-day, but I think the 21 mice were a little much 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
4475 I'm not calling him King Meowy the First. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
4476 I would have never left my first husband if I knew he'd turn out like this. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
4477 I think she's been watching too much GOT 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
4478 I guess we need to be supportive of our thespian cat who identifies as King George after seeing Broadway's Hamilton. Awesome. Wow. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
4479 Gold dust in your litter box is just too Trumpian. 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
4480 It's not enough. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
4481 Leo roars the loudest because he attended jungle camp. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
4482 Yes, you're right. This throne is not acceptable. We'll get on it right away, and please accept our most sincere apologies. 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
4483 We never should have named him "Mr Trumpy" 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
4484 Don't you think you're taking this part Cavalier King Charles Spaniel a little too far? 1.0938 0.05235 32 29 3 0
4485 The taxidermist thought this was a more fitting pose for Henry. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
4486 His name is Presley, Elvis Presley. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4487 I think the whole Game of Thrones thing has made his King of the Jungle gene kick in. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4488 We're sorry, son, but you're just gonna have to wait to be king. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4489 We are only getting a small dog, you'll still be the King of the house...promise...we feel your pain. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4490 Not exactly King of the Jungle material 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4491 "When we agreed on King at the animal rescue,I thought you meant that nice German Shepard". 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4492 Sorry snookums,, there can only be one Mr. Mistoffelees. Remember: there are no small parts, only tiny kittens. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4493 Abdication would destroy them. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4494 Of course you can be Simba for Halloween, sweetie. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4495 So we realized that you didn't even catch half of the mice, which means that technically, the throne still belongs to the toaster-cleaning parrot. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4496 You're right, we do need to see the animal psychologist. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4497 He says he's our real president. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4498 Humans, you're probably wondering why I've called you both here. The litter is a bit dusty and the food is far too dry.... 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4499 This cat rules with iron paws. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4500 We request that Your Highness should use the litter box. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4501 Felix, we've already named the dog ‘King.’ 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4502 Don't feel bad, Fluffy. Even lions get tired sometimes. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4503 I think Donald was a fitting name. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4504 I saw him talking to that monkey, Rafiki. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4505 Game Of Litter Boxes 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4506 How can we help you, your meowjesty? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4507 He knows we worship the ground he litters. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4508 All those prince and princess kitties could not possibly be yours. We saw to that years ago. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4509 Your highness, there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4510 I think that Queen's brand cat litter went to her head.... 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4511 Wot doth thou mean? Ye hath no grey poupon?! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4512 It's OK Sweetie. Henry the 8th had six wives, not nine lives, but you're still special. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4513 I knew it would come to this sooner or later. The whole family hated the job! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4514 I hereby proclaim that all dogs be banished from my kingdom 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4515 Do you understand his latest edict? All I'm hearing is 'Meow' over and over again. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4516 It's 'look AT a king,' not 'LIKE a king.' 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4517 We work like dogs to make him feel like a king! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4518 Sire, will it be French or Italian cuisine this evening? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4519 Wait until you see his litter box. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4520 With all due....this is not Africa. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4521 Honey, I think your Ancient Egypt course is confusing Muffin... er, Cleocatra. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4522 Aum. Comfort, my liege. Remember who you are. King. I had forgot myself. Am I not King? Richard the Second, ACT III. SC. II 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4523 Oh King Cole was a purry ol' soul, who finally admited he had no use for the bowl. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4524 The crown is only a distraction so he can play more golf... 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4525 Since he's been crowned he just doesn't know what to do with himself 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4526 We're yearning to breathe free. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4527 But a SEDAN chair is out of the question. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4528 Too much Game of Thrones? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4529 Bullshit, Fuck, Bullshitter, Buullshiit.......He heard David Remnick say it on the WTF podcast about Donald Trump. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4530 We understand it's like a jungle sometimes, but you shouldn't have to wonder how to keep from going under. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4531 I know we encouraged this behavior for Instagram, but it's time we talked about your mouse catching duties. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4532 Your majesty, whom should I serve for your dinner? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4533 London, the Queen, now what? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4534 how do you want your fish to be cooked today, my highness? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4535 For dinner, I should like the turkey with giblets, gravy on the side, with iced 2% milk. Make it so! 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4536 Naming her Queeny hasn't worked out so great 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4537 Even the cat loves Game of Thrones. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4538 ...but if you did abdicat, who would be the heir? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4539 This place is kind of flashy. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4540 Don't take it personally -- the Special Counsel plays cat and mouse with everyone he investigates. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4541 This was much more of a theoretical metaphor before November. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4542 Yes, the litter is clean now. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4543 You should not have told him he is no longer king since Trump took over. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4544 I call him the Prince of Purrsia. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4545 We're cutting off the catnip. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4546 Are you sure King Joffrey is the direction you want to go with this? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4547 That hairball really did look like Joffery choking. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4548 Monarchies don't last forever. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
4549 Who gets custody of Queen Fluffykins when we get divorced 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4550 Talk about entitled! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4551 You just had to call him Frederick, didn't you? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4552 This all started once we gave him social media. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4553 One nursery rhyme trip to London to visit the Queen, and look what happens ! 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4554 I think it's the cat food television commercials. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4555 They told us he had trumpian tendencies. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4556 Catatonia Regium. I read about this in vet school. Our doting has placed our cat into a perpetual state of delusion. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4557 Now, if we had named him 'Snuggles' instead of 'Rex' ... 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4558 Sorry Muffy, we're not sure beheading Fido is legal. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4559 Maybe in another life. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4560 I guess fat cats still rule! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4561 I don't know honey, looks like a bad case of Crowns to me. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4562 No, it actually does stink. That's why we get clumping with odor shield. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4563 Abide by your midnight curfew or you will be throne out! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4564 Your throne is now in the garage. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4565 We kinda liked you as our pet. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4566 He's waxing sentimental about his days as an outdoor cat. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4567 Who died and left you King? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4568 Tell us again how you wrestled the crown away from Charles and fled during the Brexit. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4569 You want me to cut the salmon in half? And give both halves to you? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4570 But you said you wanted to be Cat King to make Felincia great again ! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4571 Do we always have to go through your communications director? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4572 Did we overindulge him? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4573 If only we hadn't named him Donald. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4574 He speaks the lines beautifully, but I think Henry V should look a tad more regal. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4575 We're trying our best to make things up for the neutering, Rex. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4576 My kingdom for a parakeet! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4577 Just another day in the life of a fat cat 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4578 It's official. President Trump just tweeted that they are NOT related! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4579 Rex or Fluffy? What do you think? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4580 Their attitude has always ruled. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4581 Winter is here. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4582 They are famous for their paparizza. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4583 Look here Tiddles, I think we need a serious talk! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4584 Don't worry, it's normal cat behavior! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4585 Can we get you something for your catnip hangover, tabby? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4586 In fairness, her litter box actually doesn't stink. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4587 He thinks he's above chasing mice. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4588 Remarkable. So much wisdom in so few purrs. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4589 Could the boy be right? Maybe he isn't really wearing any clothes. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4590 Perk up. Think of the residuals. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4591 I still want a baby. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4592 The chiropractor can see you Tuesday. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4593 He's not "King of the Jungle" but around here he Rules. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4594 Dad and I thought it's time to tell you your birth mother is a cat. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4595 We need to put a string in your step. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4596 And here I thought the sword in the stone thing was just a myth. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4597 You'll be king of each house. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4598 We got rid of the dog 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4599 So, in the end King Louis lost his head. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4600 It's clearly an advanced case of catatonia 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4601 Looks like his mouse chasing days are behind him. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4602 Don't get discouraged. You've been well-groomed. Royal positions are just tight right now, especially the UK. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4603 Yes, your cat food is now dry, but your power remains the same. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4604 He needs one that's carried on the shoulders of four men, and one that clumps. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4605 It's really more of a castle than a jungle here, so give me back the crown. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4606 It's not easy being "King of the Snuggle." 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4607 Your blood may be royal, but you only have 1 life left. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4608 I didn't think when I brought home the ermine-trimmed robe, you would go out and buy a crown. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4609 Just because you're now king doesn't mean you can start grabbing pussies. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4610 Now that the big cats are extinct, I'm afraid he's it. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4611 Looks like a cat nip overdose. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4612 I named him ... Donald. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4613 We named you Prince after the singer. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4614 Cooked right he will taste like chicken a la king 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4615 Ignore the cat, Larry—I have chlamidyia 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4616 I like Game of Thrones too but this is overkill. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4617 It's an honor to work for your administration. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4618 LION; not lie-in, is the King of the Beasts! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4619 Your needs are important to us, but there are limits. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4620 When will he give us crunchies? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4621 Pussy Trump really does think he's in now in charge; how delightfully delusional! 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4622 So this is how Persian catnip works ... 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4623 I forget, is our new ruler a 'His' Majesty or 'Her' Majesty? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4624 I know we called him "Rex", but he's a dog and needs constant encouragement. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4625 I found him at a second hand Castle store. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4626 The return of Game of Thrones has really shaken up household politics. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4627 He thinks he's Fluffy the XIVth. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4628 We should keep him Princess, he cleans your litter box. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4629 Maybe the gold-plated catnip was too much. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4630 Great, so it caught one damn mouse? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4631 This is the taxidermist idea of a regal pose? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4632 He must've raided the boa's feeder again. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4633 I'm thinking it's time to restring the violin. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4634 I'm just not in. This is 'jumping the shark' when it comes to cat videos. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4635 He definitely not fit to be a king. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4636 If you're that tired, I know a lion who said he just couldn't wait to be king. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4637 I promise, Julius, we did not mean the fleece bed as an insult. A king size would not fit through the front door. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4638 Sadly, he's an Egyptian Heirless 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4639 But, was now really the best time to adopt a Russian Blue? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4640 When were the self esteem injections supposed to take effect? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4641 May we please scratch your back? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4642 Stay positive... you always land on your feet. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4643 Princess Fluffy learns of the addition of Prince Fido to the kingdom. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4644 Maybe they can change their votes 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4645 I guess we'll call her Queenie. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4646 Next time we're going with a dog. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4647 Stop sulking. you still have 8 lives to go! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4648 Let's try opening up another can. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4649 So, your Majesty, do you really think 'playing cat & mouse' with North Korea will truly lift your ennui? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4650 Cheer up. Your ratings can only go up. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4651 The vet said that one stick of Imperial margarine won't kill him, and the side effects will wear off. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4652 Even if cats rule, you still have to use the litter box. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4653 Look, if you want to be emperor, even you will need clothes. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4654 ´We just added a little olive oil to its bowl.´ 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4655 Tell mom she was only supposed to be Queen for a day. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4656 You should never have given him a crown. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4657 Honestly, I just feel honored to still be of service. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4658 We sleep in the bed to. You didn't conquer anything. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4659 Don't feel bad. You're not the only cool cat Trump has fired. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4660 He doesn't feel he is king without a scepter 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4661 I guess next we will be getting him a dog drawn carriage. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4662 Says he's tired his role of King of Our Domain and would like to return to mouse catcher. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4663 We know you're disappointed now, but your Iron Throne will be here by next Sunday. If you sit on the back of the sofa, you can watch for the delivery drone. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4664 You simply can't play the role of Trump in this household! 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4665 This is so hard to tell you ... but the Albacore Tuna that you like so much is on backorder. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4666 His YouTube video wasn't even funny. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4667 Good idea, but I don't think he's into it. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4668 It appears King Donnie is resting and plotting his strategy for Kim Jung-un. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4669 You know, you're really no Morris. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4670 So what exactly happens next in Cat of Thrones? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4671 Perhaps we should have had him neutered. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4672 Maybe we shouldn't have let Li'l Henry binge watch "The Tudors" with us. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4673 Well, now, the Lion King is now just another tired puddytat 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4674 Sitting on your tail ain't that easy after all 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4675 As your benevolent ruler, I can assure you that mice will no longer be a menace to my kingdom. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4676 Your son Tyrion wishes to meet you at the royal litter box. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4677 I'm going to have to draw the line at decapitating his second wife. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4678 He looks a little bored. Can you think of anything else we can bring him to pounce on? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4679 I think its time to hang up your hat. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4680 Truly, Your Highness, not a crumb of cake in the house. You're going to have to swallow your pride and eat kibble. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4681 Um...yeah. Taxidermist, huh? I didn't know. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4682 I had no idea one can of wet food would lead to this 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4683 Told you we should have had children. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4684 If it please the kitty-kat, may we watch one of our own shows now? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4685 He hasn't enjoyed playing autocrat ever since the election. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4686 He wants to know if you liked Miles better in his bebop or hard bop phase. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4687 I thought you brought the stray cat home. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4688 How did this happen? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4689 Don't you like the solid gold litter box we bought you? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4690 I see, and how does this make you feel? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4691 Your Highness, perhaps some funny human videos on You Tube would amuse you? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4692 Qu'ils mangent de la brioche. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4693 Does the book say when we will notice the effects of experimenting with our household's power structure? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4694 As I started to say ... tragic news. The Waterford serving dish for your free range chicken liver pate has been broken. We'll have to make do with the Steuben for a bit. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4695 Seriously, Your Majesty, could you float us a loan? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4696 You can always go back to selling real estate. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4697 You might want to show a bit more initiative with the mouse catching job. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4698 The President called; he wants his cat back! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4699 We never should have started using Royal Cat Food 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4700 For the last time: your name is Mr. Jeffrey not Joffrey. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4701 Sixty years, twelve presidents, and now tweets! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4702 I never thought I'd have to fight dragons! 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4703 Can you add a kitty litter to the shopping list? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4704 Can you imagine if we'd named him Garfield? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4705 You'll always be the king in our jungle! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4706 Telling him he was Royal Siamese was a mistake. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4707 He said we could stay if we stop buying him grocery store Caviar. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4708 Okay, we'll make the youtube video, but you can't direct it. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4709 Damn, I just had the most profound and original realization. Like, we own our pets, right? But, like, maybe it's the pets who really own us? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4710 Son, this is an intervention. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4711 He just tweeted that we're litter lumps. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4712 Today's edict will be forthcoming. You may assume it will begin with a snack. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4713 How do you think Fido will react? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4714 You know, your ancestors are probably turning in their graves. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4715 If your feast isn't fancy enough, please let us know. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4716 Too late! His attitude with the mice was 'Let Them Eat the Cake.' 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4717 It's the last item on his Nine Lives List. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4718 Oh, c'mon, honey, you're going to love summer camp! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4719 Shall I scratch your tummy? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4720 This place is a dump. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4721 I know it means "king," Rex, but it's just a name. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4722 We were wondering if we could leave you with a vet while we go on vacation this year. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4723 It’d be cute without the gout 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4724 It's been over six months now, so you have to accept that he wasn't talking about you. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4725 No, we are not getting you a dragon! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4726 Look, we're just saying that maybe you are misunderstanding our generosity a bit 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4727 now that you mention it i have noticed some changes since we switched him to fancy feast 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4728 He indicates, from now on nothing below mice queens. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4729 But Imperial cat food was on sale 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4730 "Cats Rule" is really just a saying... 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4731 Your father and I think this whole 'King of the Castle' attitude has gone straight to your head 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4732 It's exhausting being King of the Alley..... 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4733 The time has come for you to move out. Your carriage awaits. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4734 ...and for dessert he wants mouse mousse. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4735 Do you think a sceptre would be an appropriate cat toy for him? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4736 See, Mr. President, you got your wish! 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4737 Does he get a second date, Your Majesty? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4738 He just got off the phone with Trump. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4739 Felix, we think it's time for an intervention. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4740 Please,spare,Daddy. I'll never let him give you dry food again. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4741 Maybe you should just try walking along the fence tops and howling at night, like the other cats do. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4742 Not so regal out of the wild, is he? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4743 Purr Majesty 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4744 We never dreamed you'd want a consort. Please forgive us for having you neutered. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4745 Looks to me like he's on his 9th life. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4746 Your Majesty, no changed cat foods, even if I have a coupon. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4747 "Boneless mice"? A very fine decree, Majesty! But we have the dog catapult to finish first. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4748 I'll put up with your pampering of 'Queenie', but I draw the line at being the royal taste tester. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4749 Heavy rests the crown . . . but the kibble is low-calorie. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4750 He doesn't seem like Himself today. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4751 No boots, no king,Puss 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4752 Permission to change the litter, King Twinkle 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4753 Maybe naming him Henry was a mistake. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4754 Sorry, Sweetie, but you misunderstood. The expression is, 'a cat can look at a king.' 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4755 What do you mean she doesn't use a litter box? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4756 So now its "your miaugesty"? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4757 Of course the litter box is your domain ... but we must go in and clean it at times. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4758 I just wish I did not feel like a vassal to a worthless king. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4759 I'm so sorry RoiRoi. The new food wasn't gluten free after all. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4760 We love you even if Viceroy of the Livingroom doesn't get as many likes as King of the Forest 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4761 The king needs to cut down on the royal wet food. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4762 Whatever you want, we'll do it. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4763 I think he's taking the" King of the Jungle" to heart 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4764 It could be worse. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4765 We’ve done everything you asked of us, your highness. Now can we please get a puppy? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4766 I have called his insurance provider. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4767 Yes, we will talk to Burger King, but don't get your hopes up. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4768 His lordship would like to watch a cute mouse video tonight. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4769 The 2016 US election led Pat and Jerry to consider swearing fealty to a monarch. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4770 I think we should stop buying 'Fancy Feast'. It seems to have really gone to Sprinkles' head. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4771 well he's old now, wants to abdicate..move in with Pope Benedict. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4772 How about if we soaked it in tuna juice? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4773 Just because you used to parol the 9th hole at Bedminster, that's no reason to go all megalomania on us. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4774 Chauncey, we need your advise about Real Estate Investment Trusts. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4775 She doesn't look much like a "your highoness." 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4776 Caught one lousy mouse and now he's Simba, King of the Jungle 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4777 We think fealty is your best defense Your Majesty 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4778 We shall remove the litter box from behind the throne Your Majesty! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4779 You tell her we're out if the king crab. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4780 No more "Game of Thrones." 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4781 Ernie's been such a royal pain ever since we put him on that new gourmet sardine stuff. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4782 I'm just praying he doesn't institute prima nocta. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4783 Sire, I'm afraid the aristocats blocked the measure in Parliament. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4784 You're no queen, Helen. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4785 We live to serve and obey. Really, we do! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4786 Next he'll want to trade his litter box for a litter. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4787 If you don't feel like tuna, we can do chopped liver. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4788 It's tough to rule during the dog days of summer. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4789 He truly was the most pompous and imperious of cats, Ward, and we loved him so. But do you honestly feel this is the proper way to honor his memory? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4790 Do you think the fact he has five legs is bothering him? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4791 He really thought Charles would be king. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4792 Yes, your name is Cersei too, but you're not a Lannister and it's just a TV show. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4793 I think we're ready to be parents. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4794 So what's the decree? Are you going to keep us? 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4795 Not sure this new meowarchy is working out. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4796 Sorry, Your Majesty, you can't behead us until you learn to use the can opener. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4797 How about a constitutional monarchy? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4798 I think he lost his soul when we moved to Washington. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4799 I'm so sorry, Pookey. All that way to find out Gene Kelly only dances with mice! 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4800 When you pick your successor, remember I'm the one who cleans your litter box. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4801 Maybe your subjects would show more respect if you took up Tweeting. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4802 If it makes you feel any better, we miss Ned Stark, too. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4803 It means we don't have mice. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4804 Another pawlitical victory for Mr. Flufferson 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4805 Spoiler Alert! Guess who thinks they won the Game Of Thrones? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4806 I did not tell the Queen that it was a very little mouse. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4807 No, she's not like the Illuminati, we gave her all this voluntarily. Perhaps the crown was a mistake. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4808 Would your highness like mommy to peel you a tuna ? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4809 Queen Elisabeth never had it so good. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4810 I thought he was just a tabby, but down at the shelter they did say he was a rex. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4811 He jut heard William and Kate will get the throne. 1.0909 0.06691 33 31 1 1
4812 I did warn you: "Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4813 No Way! This is not a jungle and he's not a king. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4814 Would it be alright if we came back on Saturday for our next counselling session? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4815 I told you we should have named him Pup. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4816 Puss should no longer watch the news 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4817 Your Highness is as far as I'll go. God is out of the question. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4818 I think it is time for a royal diet 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4819 He said it's a working vacation, so I think that's ok. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4820 A cat may look like a king. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4821 So you understand now...we really love you in a way so much better than Netflix 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4822 When he found out that lions were the king of the jungle he decided to become king of the living room. 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4823 We have gold plated the litter box, sire. Have any further commands? 1.0909 0.05082 33 30 3 0
4824 Your Majesty, we must update Adobe Flash again. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
4825 Alexa does not understand "Meow"! 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4826 See? Why spoil him by letting him go outside? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4827 Who's going to replace him when the inevitable happens? He's sired more than 500 kittens. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4828 I promise, you don't have to go to the White House. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4829 "Wow, we sure didn't expect this when we let the cat out of the bag"! 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4830 Do you think he's not taking his responsibilities seriously enough? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4831 We really can't put Fido in the guillotene 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4832 Damn! If I had known that the job would be so difficult, I would have abdicated my throne. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4833 I know we always said anything is possible, but Elizabeth II is not going to abdicate to you. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4834 Don't you think that's a little much for the third trimester Leonard? 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4835 With or without fries? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4836 King of the jungle’s a rough gig, Muffins. Better stick with the internet. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4837 Let me a king for the day until she (the dog) comes from the Vet Hospital. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4838 You thought this job was going to be easy! 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4839 No, he is commanding you to clean his box. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4840 He still doesn't look satisfied. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4841 All hail the Spayed King 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4842 The pet store swares that this will help with house training. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4843 I know it's tough when the vet said you only get one cheat day a week. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4844 Abdication is not an option? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4845 He wasn't happy being the king in the fable of the "White Cat"..Now he wants boots. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4846 As you loyal subjects, we have to neuter you. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4847 Mittens, we need to talk about Tuna. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4848 You had to name her Cersei. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4849 You're right, it isn't so good being King. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4850 Death to the dog jester again? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4851 Queen Donald did what? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4852 Yes, you can still have your throne after the spaying. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4853 It's because we're your loyal subjects that we're switching to dry food. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4854 We share your angst about the imposter in the White House. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4855 SHORTLY AFTER I WATCHED A DOCUMENTARY ON EGYPT . 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4856 I think the king needs a queen. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4857 wrong throne, your litter box is in the garage 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4858 Please, just pretend to kiss his ring and we can go. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4859 So, who's Mister King Grumpy Puss today? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4860 i told you the wine would do this to him 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4861 Oh Wise Soloman, Got any better ideas for this month beyond just cutting it in half, as per usual? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4862 His official title is Henry the Eighth Life 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4863 The product review said it was "exquisitely designed to accommodate a regal slouch". 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4864 Ok, you're getting there, now the line is, "uneasy is the head that wears the crown." 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4865 I hate to break it to you but the Purrsian Empire collapsed eight lives ago. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4866 Fired 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4867 I think we should give him back his iPad. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4868 Clearly that wasn't catnip that we bought! 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4869 How relaxed you are in your innermost circle! 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4870 He doesn't like being the Danish King and wants to go back in his parabox and just be plain old unobserved Schrodinger again. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4871 That Fancy Feast cat food is going to his head. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4872 We've been through this. Catnip really IS a hallucinogen. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4873 She really took the name "Princess" to heart. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4874 Can't we negotiate, Pusskins? 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4875 Its just your name, buddy, You're not really a king. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4876 Yes we will call you, the queen of the first cats, ruler of the seven kingdoms and her other realms and territories, defender of the faith and the lion of Judah. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4877 I think we should stop buying Royal Canin brand. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4878 But my Lord, one cannot simply kill the neighbor's dog. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4879 We know it's not the same as being king of the jungle, but can't you make the best of it? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4880 Stuck and stupid and vulnerable; in this mini-dark ages 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4881 Call him Leo, not Tabby. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4882 He commands you to clean up the dog's drool. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4883 I know he's been down in the dumps, but maybe we took took, "Give him the royal treatment," too literally? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4884 He has everything but a catatonic heir. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4885 Will prefer warmed milk or bottle water? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4886 Your father and I love you very much, but we don't condone litter in the house. Period. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4887 You hope and you pray, but The Revolution still seems years away. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4888 He's bummed, they said they wanted someone a little more human to play the part of Joffrey Baratheon. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4889 King Kitty's gout is flaring up again. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4890 Yes,we are all going on vacation to Paris, and NO , you cannot fly First Class. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4891 How did I know he was going to use that phony voter registration card to VOTE! 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4892 If you won't talk to us about what's bothering you, will you at least Tweet about it? 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4893 "So being King of Youtube isn't all it's cracked up to be, is it"? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4894 Friskies lies the head that wears the crown 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4895 Yeah, you can argue that it's constant torpor, but I would NOT want to challenge him to a game of chess. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4896 I miss Rover. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4897 His "King of the Jungle" poses were kinda cute at first. But the deranged proclamations, of late, are getting much too Trump-like. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4898 Henry, we'll get you a new cat companion but this is our sixth and last attempt. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4899 "That's how he supports his base". 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4900 I'm not sure this is what the vet meant by "royal treatment." 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4901 Our backyard is a bit like a jungle. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4902 Just like you, he thinks his litter box is his throne. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4903 You have to trust me - this is a different type of reign. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4904 Yes Bob, I'm pretty sure your dating profile listed only cooking and gardening as hobbies. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4905 Isn't it obvious? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4906 You named him " Donald", and then let him watch Fox News, SO You get to deal with it. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4907 His highness must still use the cat box. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4908 I was talking about the milk in the fridge. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4909 We should have gotten a dog! 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4910 Well........ what kind of caviar do you want? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4911 He just found out he's not really "King of the Beasts" 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4912 We were ok with the dog, but we want our son back. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4913 Which one of us spoiled him the most? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4914 Perhaps it's Tweeting Overuse Disorder 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4915 How can we tell her that we are out of mice? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4916 Do you think Fluffy had wanted a more elevated throne? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4917 He may be meow-nificent, but I don't like his cat-titude. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4918 What would please H.R.H., King of the Poopy Closet, Earl of the Enclosed Garage and Recycling Bins? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4919 "Tom", we are impressed with your recent DNA results, but don't you think "King Thomas" is just going a bit far? 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4920 Well, to be fair, if we had known at the time that you were the last surviving member of the Meowntbatten bloodline I don't think we WOULD have had you neutered. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4921 I think we need an intervention. This 'king of the castle,' has gotten too far. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4922 ...and another thing. That 'litter' idea has to go. Unless you both join me there! 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4923 I thought we elected him President. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4924 A therapy cat was a better idea in theory. We shouldn’t have to work this hard for his attention. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4925 Excuse me, Purr Highness... 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4926 Yes, the lion is the king of beasts. But you're a house cat. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4927 We assumed you knew there are millions of other cats that ruled over living rooms. 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4928 I know this might sound catty, but I think the king might be getting a bit lazy. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4929 We're sorry, Tom. If we'd known about that heir to the throne thing we wouldn't have made that trip to the vet. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4930 No, you're not King of the Jungle, but you ARE a Fat Cat! 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4931 It's about this 'prima nocta' idea of yours... 1.0882 0.06496 34 32 1 1
4932 We need to rein in your reign. 1.0882 0.04937 34 31 3 0
4933 OK, we'll set the fb tv channel for you. But could you at least make up some real news by yourself? 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
4934 It's Lion King not Cat King 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
4935 I told you not to name him Donald. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4936 How did you know I don't have kids? 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4937 He believes one great life is better than nine average ones. 1.0857 0.06313 35 33 1 1
4938 Do you think the kids will mind? 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4939 What does the king cat in the hat need now? 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4940 It is your turn to frighten a mouse under her chair. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4941 We want to make you happy, but we're not trading the house for a horse any time soon. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4942 Yes, I agree. We declare you Donald 1.0857 0.06313 35 33 1 1
4943 Maybe you’d prefer benevolent dictator? 1.0857 0.06313 35 33 1 1
4944 The new Catristocracy 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4945 I think YouTube worked better for you than Twitter, sire. 1.0857 0.06313 35 33 1 1
4946 I guess we need to get a catnip coat for the jester. 1.0857 0.06313 35 33 1 1
4947 Maybe some creamed chipped mice on toast? 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4948 He hasn't moved since the media misinterpreted his Tweet, six hours ago. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4949 He's exhausted from his failed coup of the Puppy Regime. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4950 Maybe if we changed his food. 1.0857 0.06313 35 33 1 1
4951 We are definitely ready to raise a kid. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4952 You're a 'fat cat' alright, but not in with the top one percent 'fat cats'! 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4953 But Donny, dear, you can't believe all those praises and adulations. They're mice. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4954 tom had another night in the alley that was a cat's meow moment. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4955 Robert and I think you should stop worring about Khaleesi and start chasing mice. 1.0857 0.06313 35 33 1 1
4956 "You read the part on my profile about my thing for cats, right? 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4957 We told you not to binge watch Game of Thrones! 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4958 He's purring about banning dogs and building a wall around his cat flap. The cat's been watching too much Trump! 1.0857 0.06313 35 33 1 1
4959 I told you letting the cat watch Game of Thrones was a bad idea. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4960 He's exhausted by his "King of the Cats" designation in the new Catlovers Encyclopedia. 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4961 I don't think he's going to drain the swamp. Let's call Orkin. 1.0857 0.06313 35 33 1 1
4962 Sorry but "King of the Jungle" is taken. How about "Dauphin of the Divan"? 1.0857 0.04801 35 32 3 0
4963 The Kids are asleep and the dishes are done, if you take the dog out I promise I won't "need an Aspirin." 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
4964 Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, right? 1.0833 0.04672 36 33 3 0
4965 You say you want to catch your own mice! 1.0833 0.04672 36 33 3 0
4966 I apologize, but the royal line has been severed. 1.0833 0.06140 36 34 1 1
4967 He thinks he's a lion. 1.0833 0.04672 36 33 3 0
4968 It's his king meow suit 1.0833 0.04672 36 33 3 0
4969 Didn't you realize there's no way you can have a queen? 1.0833 0.04672 36 33 3 0
4970 Checkmate. 1.0833 0.06140 36 34 1 1
4971 I know he reminded us of the President when we saw him at the animal rescue center, but it is time to take him back. 1.0833 0.06140 36 34 1 1
4972 What did I tell you, Charles, chefs ARE the new celebrities. 1.0833 0.04672 36 33 3 0
4973 You are not gypsy. So stop calling yourself gypsy king. 1.0833 0.06140 36 34 1 1
4974 She demands three juicy mice, pickled and sautéed, for her coronation dinner. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
4975 We like dependency on your low prices. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
4976 " Did you feed her ROYAL CANIN? " ( A Veterinary brand of pet food) 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
4977 You know this isn't the jungle, and you're not a lion. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
4978 If we keep him up late enough we can sleep in tomorrow. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
4979 I'm sorry son, but it looks like Daddy's Boy has made his final decision. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
4980 Livingroom... Jungle... what's the difference? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
4981 Naming him King Tut as a kitten was probably a bad idea! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
4982 I implore you, your majesty, we located another cache of those discontinued shrimp treats on Amazon Prime and they will arrive tomorrow. Please don't make us sleep in the dungeon again. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
4983 Seems that the bird had won first prize at the bird show. 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
4984 I was deposed; she was next in line. 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
4985 No idea where the cat came from 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
4986 I swear, it's not kittens, it's a hair ball, Trichotillomania overload..... 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
4987 Why doesn't he have a dick? Where is his dick? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
4988 Do you think he'd be happier if we left him alone now? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
4989 Nice move ten years ago calling her "Flabby". 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4990 I don't know what to say....I wish Johnny Carson were here. 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
4991 She was in the room when I was watching "Cleopatra" on the TV. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4992 Sorry, l can't face dinner. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4993 Evidently, he is playing to his base. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4994 What time would your Highness like to have dinner? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4995 Where's the bag? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4996 I think this matriarch took her spaying to heart.... 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
4997 He sleeps, perchance he dreams of mice, ay there's the rub." 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
4998 I preferred him in the kitchen. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
4999 Do you think we went overboard on the adoption party? 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
5000 Maybe we could import some mice. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
5001 The dog is not a court jester... 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5002 We're tired of your fake mews. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5003 Elizabeth gets fleas, too. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5004 Okay, no more "Kittypants", but, "King" and "Prince" sound kind of "doggy". 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5005 His astrologer said only three more days and the sun will be out of Leo. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5006 We can't afford to go to "Lion King" again. Why don't we stay at home and we can rent "What's New Pussycat" instead? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5007 We promise to keep the royal litter box smelling like roses for a year if you'll only permit the use of the palace for a dinner party this Saturday. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5008 "No cradle, no silver spoon but it'll be ok". 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5009 I see, well let's start with your mother. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5010 I told you he shouldn't try out a ninth time for that part. He's too brave to pull off the Cowardly Lion role. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5011 Sorry Fluffy, it is only the Presidency that is Imperial 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5012 And then the wise Queen banished all dogs forever and they all lived happily ever after! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5013 I'm not going mad, George. He distinctly said, "Winter is coming!" 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5014 A cat may look like a king. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5015 I just dare him to grab my pussy. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5016 I don't think he should watch Masterpiece Theater with us any more. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5017 This isn't tyranny, is it, hon? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5018 A puppy doesn't mean Mommy and Daddy love you less. Look, they got you two therapists. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5019 Should we tell him about his new cloth? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5020 Now, Honey, remember we told you that being king is very, very hard. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5021 He's worried this place is going to the dogs. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5022 I've called this meeting to discuss your divorce and my fair cat alimony in the settlement. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5023 So, let's see if we've got this straight: You thought it was "reigning" cats and dogs, and the dogs won. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5024 His kingdom for a what...? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5025 I *told* you Rex was a dog's name. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5026 Whiskers, it's almost February and we think it's time to take off the Haloween costume. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5027 I'll bet his Macbeth is the cat's meow. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5028 Mouse ears in Disneyland would not be a good carreer or public relations move. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5029 They're snapping the last Atlantic City fluke. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5030 As your Prime Minister I'm allowed to merry whomever I choose. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5031 Maybe if we go back to dry cat food....... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5032 Just because you named me Napoleon, doesn't mean that I have complex. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5033 The silver spoon & the cradle when you were a kitten is OUR fault, but now you've gotta let it all go. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5034 the all feline production of King Lear is not for another 3 weeks, you don't have to stay in character all the time. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5035 I think he had a little too much cat nip! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5036 Now that you're king, will you be needing a special kind of litter box? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5037 Honey, it's just the pizza paparazzi again. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5038 Do you think that we pamper a little much? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5039 I'm sure I mentioned that neutering is the household rule ... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5040 Remember when we talked about not putting others on a pedestal? I know where we can start. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5041 Your highness, why did you poop in my shoe? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5042 I had anticipated that ruling the household would be more satisfying. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5043 Aw, how cute. She's getting her first paralysing pang of regal remorse. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5044 Our King of Cats is having a problem sitting down...maybe that "crown" is a bit much for him... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5045 You may rule us, but only bowser can be our best friend 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5046 Perhaps the second course of training was too much. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5047 First of all, this isn't the Jungle. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5048 I thought Aunt Ira said his name was Ming. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5049 It's time to start acting presidential, Your Highness. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5050 That orange haired man tried to grab me again. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5051 Please don't worry, Your Highness, we'll call the puppy "Prince" and he'll live outside the palace. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5052 "Prince Pawsome... if the YouTube bits are too strenuous, would you consider a few dozen still shots for FaceBook, Instagram, and Twitter? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5053 Leaving Tommy"s old school play outfit laying around was a huge mistake. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5054 Have you ever tried to sleep on concrete? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5055 He's taken this "king of the suburban jungle" thing a little too far 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5056 I guess it doesn't apply to the urban jungle 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5057 OK Kevin, it's time. Call Guy. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5058 The President likes tweeting, it hasn't helped me capture a single bird. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5059 I know he thinks he rules the house, but did you have to get him a crown? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5060 Ok, now get me the dinner. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5061 Even if Charles abdicates, you're not going to move past William. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5062 Yep, we just wait until she decides what she wants us to do. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5063 It must have been the extra vodka shake. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5064 But Fluffy this is your ninth life 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5065 This anti-monarch feline insurrection was just a matter of time Henry. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5066 I always said you looked like your mother but I never understood why she left me for another man. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5067 I should have stuck with the milk.... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5068 Now that he's too big for his britches, shouldn't we stop enabling him? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5069 Yes, I left on HBO again. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5070 You have a divine left, too. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5071 A cat can look at a King, not like a King. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5072 I told him, "Cats don't have a pedigree", but he never listens. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5073 It's royal cat talk dad, commanding me to go to the Katie Perry concert. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5074 Well, the breeder specified "Cornish Rex", but this is a bit ridiculous. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5075 Susan, you can leave. Now, Pete, that's all I'm asking for - honesty loyalty. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5076 Claiming royal blood is fair enough. But donating it to underdogs? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5077 Should we call 911? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5078 You two are finally beginning to catch on! 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5079 Look, le chat, c'est moi, isn't going to catch any mice. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5080 My cousin say's her barn is being overrun with rats and wants to know if you'd mind lending your cat for about half a year. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5081 So, we hope'd to discuss your taking over the master bathroom. May we use the litter box? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5082 No, he doesn't look particularly uneasy to me, either. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5083 King of the concrete jungle. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5084 Maybe Dr. Patterson can increase the dose. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5085 He won the mouse eating competition. But, then he got cat gut. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5086 Puss will feel its crowning moment only after being booted! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5087 I know but he's so good at catching mice. Just look at that belly. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5088 No more sharing our wine with her when watching Game of Thrones 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5089 His pride is hurt because he doesn't have one. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5090 Not all fat cats are royal pains. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5091 "Should we go ahead with her trans-gender treatment?' 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5092 Stop calling her ‘Cersei.’ 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5093 I thank you for the audience, your meow-jesty! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5094 What'll it be tonight, boys—organic, free-range chicken or wild-caught Alaskan salmon? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5095 We know you feel you're the King of the house, but we insist that you still need to use the litter box. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5096 Her approval ratings are better than Trump's. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5097 It's my own fault for naming him "Prince" 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5098 He said, "his kingdom for some catnip!" 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5099 He still denies that Simba won the popular vote. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5100 Well, we did our best to give the best service to him. But he just can't get enough. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5101 Sweetie, we agree. The name they called you is so inappropriate: you are female and your mother was obviously not a canine. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5102 My pet Henry was rescued from the grounds of The Buckingham Palace. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5103 I worked with Donald Trump. I know Donald Trump. Donald Trump is a friend of mine. Fluffy, you're no Donald Trump. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5104 Yeh, but after 8 times without success, how did he find the strength? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5105 You see a Queen, I see a JOKER! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5106 It's your turn to change King Fuzzbutt's litter box. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5107 King Fluffy says we're not ready to have kids. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5108 Do you think it's your appendix? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5109 Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba Sithi uhm ingonyama Nants ingonyama bagithi baba Sithi uhhmm ingonyama Ingonyama Siyo Nqoba Ingonyama Ingonyama nengw' enamabala 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5110 He should have saved this for his ninth life. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5111 Boy, your Mother really did a number on you. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5112 It must be nice to be King for a Day 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5113 It's time I live my truth 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5114 Fluffy, would it be okay with you if we ordered Italian tonight? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5115 Looks like His Highness could stand to lose one or two pounds. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5116 I beg you, for all our sanity, for the love of whomever runs this show, please tell us, what did we do, that we'll never do again? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5117 That robe is the cat's meow. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5118 He said he'd put the mice back to work 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5119 I told you. His megalomania would want this and more... 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5120 Seriously? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5121 He says Clare de Vries is looking for him. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5122 I thought when I finally got here, I might be happy, but no... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5123 It's time we trimmed his emoluments claws. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5124 This is what's we get get for naming him Trump... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5125 Just for Halloween. I hate how it encourages his tomcatspreading. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5126 Maybe you 'd feel better, Mr Sparkles, if you cut back on mice. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5127 We're going to have the crown removed first before we do some rubbing. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5128 I think he's suffering from "pussy privilege". 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5129 This has gone too far. No, I will NOT 'fetch you your cat-nip!' 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5130 We need to talk about your cat toys habit... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5131 So much to being unneutered for our cat queen. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5132 He's been depressed ever since the kitten claimed he wasn't wearing any clothes at all! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5133 Fat ceramic cats are on trend," according to our decorator, "and coffee tables are not. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5134 'Now he can look at himself.' 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5135 I told you not to spoil him with the Royal Canin. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5136 Maybe that's why they call it a dog's life 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5137 I knew your coddling of the fat cats on Wall Street would eventually come between us. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5138 And to think that in your last life, you were the Duke of Cheshire! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5139 Puss, you have our loyalty. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5140 Jungle, living room... same thing to him. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5141 The Nine Lives of Riley. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5142 We should never have called him Rex. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5143 > he's become his father, honey 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5144 You want him via our divorce. I want him via our divorce. Maybe we should stay married!! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5145 Where is the thrill I am supposed to feel in presence of royalty? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5146 Was the salmon souffle just right for your tummy, your highness? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5147 Yes, it's lonely at the top. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5148 "It's your move". 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5149 I'm your Royal Consort, not him. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5150 He just doesn't seem to realize that he's only a cat and that "Life's a Jungle" is only a metaphor! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5151 His only command is "meow." 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5152 Harold, we can have sex after you feed Edward and clean out his litter box. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5153 I jested yesterday. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5154 Like I said, we can't get 'those' back. For the last time; can I get you anything? Will you just look at me, King Cat Stevens? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5155 I know...he'll be gone by tomorrow. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5156 He's just expressing his true feelings. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5157 But putting sand over all the floors will make the house less-clean. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5158 Don't feel bad. It's just fake news. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5159 A cat may look at a king? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5160 Isn't it time you cleaned the litter tray? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5161 The king of the rats has had one to many!! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5162 Ever since we got him the throne, robe & crown he seems to think things are purrrrfect. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5163 Oh, for Pete's sake! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5164 Frankly, for all practical purposes, we've reached that point where everyone says you have no clothes. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5165 Someone she's acquainted with must be King of the Jungle. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5166 You're a fat cat alright, but the outfit and attitude have nothing to do with it 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5167 He was tired of being called Princess. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5168 He has committed treason by suggesting a dog; but if it pleases your majesty, mercy should be granted. Perhaps he might be banished to the garage? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5169 Something is rotten in this housing estate. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5170 Sir Donald, the news of the staff colluding with the neighbor's dog is fake. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5171 He hasn't been the same since he found out Lear dies at the end. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5172 Do you need a nap? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5173 Do you like this outfit on me? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5174 He likes it ! If we could get just enough people to vote for him, he will become one ! 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5175 Mommy and Daddy can't make you king. Only the cat food company can do that. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5176 So, is it really so good to be king? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5177 I told you not to let him watch Game of Thrones. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5178 He even has small paws. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5179 Meow that again, Your Pussiness . 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5180 Fluffy, sometimes you can be a royal pain in the butt. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5181 What is it going to take to get you to act more like a dog? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5182 I just know I am a shoe-in for the position of White House cat. My orange tabby is a perfect shade. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5183 I think we need to put him on a vegan diet. And no alcohol! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5184 Dad? Do you think he'll grow into the job? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5185 I said roasted pheasant, not peasant. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5186 We should never have named him Henry. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5187 We are not his subordinates! We are his equals. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5188 Sire, the prisoner still will not speak. Shall we try the vacuum? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5189 King Cat? I liked him better when he was just Fat Cat! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5190 Let's not get another chihuahua. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5191 'Well, you did insist on calling him Donald ...' 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5192 That catnip really worked! 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5193 ``Whiskers, it's called an intervention. We're concerned about the drinking. We love you.'' 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5194 'Twill be a Fancy Feast fit for a king, Majesty! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5195 ME-ow, King Donny; you can do anything; by yourself. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5196 How did they get "Alexa" to understand feline? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5197 But, this morning, you seemed to really like that food. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5198 You were the one who wanted to call him Rex! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5199 Maybe if we got her designer boots, she'd exercise more 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5200 He has been like this since he came back from Saudi Arabia 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5201 Your cat videos are fun, but we'd like to see more tweeting. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5202 Honey, maybe we overdid the binge watching of Games of Thrones and didn't carefully ration the catnip. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5203 Your majesty, the new jester lives across town. In a veterinarian's office. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5204 The trouble is that back in your day you and Mom had completely crazy ideas. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5205 And guess what he gropes? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5206 "Heavy is the head that wears the crown"goes for cats, too. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5207 Son, Mom and Dad don't have nine lives. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5208 You see what happens when the salmon is not Wild Alaskan ! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5209 I'm a cat person. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5210 Had your fill of mice mi'Lord? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5211 Our marriage was good until we took him off cat food. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5212 We just can't train 30 neighborhood dogs to stand guard outside our house. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5213 I TOLD you naming him 'Your Highness' would go to his head! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5214 Your highness, you still need to behead the mice yourself. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5215 The emperor has no claws. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5216 This job is really more than I bargained for, big league. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5217 Let's just hope he doesn't rule with an iron paw. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5218 We just don't think Haru is right for your son. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5219 I don't think he really cares about the Republic, Honey 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5220 I'm just saying that under the right circumstances dating could be healthy for me. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5221 I will have the duck and encourage you the same. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5222 He is mad - we hid his scepter. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5223 We appreciate your transparency 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5224 I knew we shouldn't have left "Game of Thrones" on. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5225 Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5226 Sorry, but we're out of bluefin tuna. Would puffer fish be okay? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5227 One problem with royal rescue pets is the possibility of a royal recall. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5228 I knew it was a mistake to call him Trump. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5229 Would you a filet mignon, or more of that mushy crap you used to enjoy? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5230 He was happier when he only looked. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5231 Tell the truth - were you licking the margarine again? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5232 Avoiding being grabbed isn't easy, but you've earned your crown the right way. Good girl! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5233 We know Cat & Mouse is traditional, but we don't understand the rule of engagement! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5234 What do you think? Caviar for dinner or fois gras? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5235 It's just easier this way. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5236 Can you blame him? He just lost his 8th life, recently. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5237 His shrink says he suffers from egomania-catique. 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5238 ..I went to see the Queen.... 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5239 And I thought you were telling the truth 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5240 He's been reading Trump's tweets again 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5241 Pardon me for grabbing you. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5242 Fulfilling my genetic imperative is exhausting! 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5243 Should we bring the royal laser pointer? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5244 Care for your boots, Master Puss? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5245 Told you we shouldn't have named him Donald 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5246 Leo, hot dogs and weiner dogs are NOT the same. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5247 So much in the name of democracy! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5248 Didn't he realize when they made him king for the day he would have to forfeit one of his lives? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5249 We're sorry about the queen size litter box we ordered. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5250 We've put in the order for that single-origin, organic catnip you prefer, it should arrive within a few days, so sorry for the delay. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5251 He claims he has a divine right for his favourite spot. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5252 I like my New York style Pizza delivered in a New York minute. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5253 No more TV for our dear Copy Cat! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5254 O.K. Donald, what are the rules this week? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5255 Okay, next time you buy the cat food! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5256 Just think of it as body sculpting, Tom. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5257 Waiting for the cat's meow 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5258 Your Majesty, are you saying, "Cats First," or "Cat's First?" 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5259 Are you sure his pedigree says "King Cat? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5260 Is Reggie really the king of us? Honestly, Hal! 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5261 To Fido we"re royals. To the cat we're the peasants. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5262 I told you, binge watching Game of Thrones was a bad idea! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5263 Maybe we went too far with Trump's 'Make America Great Again - for Cats'. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5264 Why are you so quiet, dear? Cat got your tongue? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5265 The bakery's all out of Blackbird pie, do you think he'd be OK with an anchovy pizza? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5266 So I asked myself, "Why stop at fancy feast?" And just look at me now. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5267 Waiting for Daphne to wake up. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5268 Our cat thinks he rules us 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5269 Dad,where did Donald Trump say I could grab her? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5270 Who would you like to sleep with tonight? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5271 Are you sure he is not the author of the Art of the Deal? 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5272 Do you think he's Leopold I or Leopold IX, because this is getting old? 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5273 Snow, you are not allowed to learn from Cersei Lannister 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5274 I knew, believe me. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5275 Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.. We are here to serve you, our Lord. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5276 Cheer up, there will be another auditon for royal cat food. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5277 Felt every cat owner ever. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5278 This chef is adored by the pizzerrati. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5279 You were an outside stray before we invited you in but now you've taken over please learn to use the kitty litter box 1.0667 0.06667 30 29 0 1
5280 I knew he was an alpha male, but never imagined he would become king of the concrete jungle. 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5281 I told you, the shoeshine boy said he will be back in a minute 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5282 This place is a real dump! 1.0667 0.04632 30 28 2 0
5283 Cat gut fever 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
5284 What's the point of wearing the crown if the cat world ignores my 24/7 meows? 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
5285 Celebrity chef is out. "Celebrity Server" is a thing now. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5286 Do you want us to call the backyard a jungle? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5287 I told you we should have named him Donald. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5288 And what exactly can we do with all these upvotes? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5289 Jerry, it's "Your Highness" Mr. Poopy 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5290 When we said you're the King of the Castle, we didn't mean we were moving into a castle. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5291 Mark, do you think maybe we should rename "Sweetie Pie" to "Queen of Sheba"? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5292 So, Fancy Feast tonight? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5293 Nobody knew that this job could be so complicated. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5294 More tuna, your highness? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5295 Freud and the Nutcracker should never mix 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5296 Our neighbours' cat rejected him. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5297 You'll see. A dog will be a good companion for you. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5298 I gave up after eight wives - adopted out, every last damn one of them 1.0645 0.06452 31 30 0 1
5299 We just think you’re taking this king of the concrete jungle thing too seriously. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5300 Actually, I found this crown in my catnip dealer's car. So, what did you guys want to talk about? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5301 She rules with an iron paw. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5302 I told you that "Planet of the Cats" idea was ridiculous, what else do you have? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5303 I told him that one of his relatives is 'The King Of Beasts' and he's taking it literally. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5304 We're really sorry but Lion is moving back home and wants his room, cape and crown back. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5305 We refuse to refer to you as "an artistocat." 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5306 Who knew there was a site for gig taxidermists? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5307 And any special requests for dinner, from Your Royal Cattitude? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5308 We still think you're a little too young to be considered a millennial. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5309 I don't think the medicine or the giving into him has helped him that much... 1.0645 0.06452 31 30 0 1
5310 Maybe it would help to watch "The Lion King" again. 1.0645 0.06452 31 30 0 1
5311 How about this one, Guss: 'I know a woman who slept with cats for 40 years . . . Mrs. Katz.' 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5312 Maybe he is a descendant of the Lion King 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5313 I wish that someone warned me about these millennial pets! 1.0645 0.06452 31 30 0 1
5314 At least he's not as orange as Donald Trump. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5315 Give us another chance. We can't all be purrfect. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5316 Look Puss, Rex is just a name, not a reflection on our greater reverence for one pet versus the other. 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5317 Who's my king of the concrete jungle? 1.0645 0.04485 31 29 2 0
5318 and don't forget to add extra jalapeño to the Tuna Tartare. 1.0645 0.06452 31 30 0 1
5319 I guess naming his pizzas after celebrities wasn't such a good idea. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5320 We're tired of these cat-and-mouse games. Time to start pulling your own weight around here. 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5321 I'll train my boyfriend to stay off the living room furniture if you let me keep him. 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5322 Just who do you think you are? Tama-chan at Kishi station? 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5323 Listen to your queen, language is not an excuse! 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5324 Your subjects await your decree, your Royal Catness. 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5325 Aww, would it please our sweet King Squiggles to live one of his other lives? 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5326 You see, "royal pain" is only a figure of speech. 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5327 You can stop worrying. The 25th amendment does not apply to your royal highness. 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5328 I'm pretty sure he wants an iron throne. 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5329 Hakuna Matata 1.0625 0.06250 32 31 0 1
5330 There's plenty more talent agencies out there. 1.0625 0.04348 32 30 2 0
5331 Well I know It's not the same as King of the Jungle but you are lord of this castle 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
5332 He's Realy Fat. 1.0606 0.04218 33 31 2 0
5333 Now that my reign over this house has been made clear, and your position in, you should know that I plan to mate with that Spanish lovely down the street. Her name is Katherine but you are allowed to call her kitty. 1.0606 0.04218 33 31 2 0
5334 If a cat may look at a king, I can put my feet on the table 1.0606 0.04218 33 31 2 0
5335 If solid gold and ermine don't add dignity, is anything true? 1.0606 0.04218 33 31 2 0
5336 No cartoon is visible! 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
5337 We'd like to petition for the water ban to be lifted. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
5338 …And then, in a flash, it hit me. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
5339 I know that you like to spoil him, but this is ridiculous. or Thank you for allowing us to serve you. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
5340 Perhaps we shouldn't have named him Lear. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
5341 Could we just agree to disagree? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
5342 I told you giving him 4 birthday parties a year was a bad idea. 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
5343 Dwight, this is all your fault! you never should have let her watch GoT. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
5344 We're changing your name, Donald. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
5345 But when I said, "The emperor has no clothes," I was talking about Trump. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
5346 We need to figure out what "needeep!" means. 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
5347 I warned you not play the score of that damn Broadway show! 1.0556 0.05556 36 35 0 1
5348 Once we spay you, you'll no longer be quean. 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
5349 Honey, I told you not to grab her. You know she always grabs back! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
5350 Which one of us will be the "Court Jester" this week? 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
5351 Being fat and lazy is no bar to high office, but that curiosity of yours kills your chances 1.0526 0.05263 38 37 0 1
5352 Young lady, you look a little scrawny to be a Ball Slave. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
5353 Told you don't buy that anymore. 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
5354 They call this a strippagram? 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
5355 perhaps there is a back nine. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5356 You Wouldn't Want Your Mother Offended, Right? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
5357 SPRILL BETTER THAN ONE 1.0392 0.02745 51 49 2 0
5358 ...and Mongojerry was really 'climbing the curtains' last nite! ...cat nip purrfectionary! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5359 I told him three catnaps was his limit 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5360 Blame Burger King's Big Fish sandwich 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5361 He still can't understand where his clothes went. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5362 Now now princess the puppy is just visiting 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5363 Sorry Rex we don't think we'll be able to locate your birth parents. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5364 The taxidermist to gave free reign to his imagination. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5365 I told you not to give the dog away! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5366 Heavy is the meow that wears the crown. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5367 I'm just waiting for a girl like mom. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5368 But you promised to give him a tour of the catsel? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5369 Doesn't this make up for the neutering? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5370 I am sorry your Royal Highness, the vet said absolutely no more catnip for you! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5371 A GoFund Kingship will take the pressure off the president. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5372 And I say he takes after your side of the family. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5373 Our neighbor is not going to pay for a wall. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5374 It's good to be the King !!! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5375 The crown is a nice touch, but we're still not going to order HBO. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5376 When did pizza delivery become an Olympic sport? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5377 Is this what it's like to be king for a day? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5378 Prince Rover has returned from his conquests, bearing gifts. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5379 Being a big bad king you sure act like a real... well you know. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5380 His reign is over 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5381 It's a hard life under pet-riarchy 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5382 I think we've established that the hoi polloi may look at a cat who's also a king. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5383 King of The Jungle, we get it, we found royalty in our great, great, great, "grrreat" ancestors, too! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5384 I'm sorry the "Nutcracker" keeps you so busy and you can't find an understudy. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5385 Duchess, we've done everything you asked. Now, where is Pluto? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5386 So much for being king of the jungle, much less of the domain. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5387 Yes, I understand it's a curse, but I don't think a kiss will make it go away. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5388 We don't care what the comments on YouTube say. You'll always be our Lion King. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5389 Bit Prince you just had your 6th cup of catnip. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5390 I got him lasagne from Maggiano's instead of the frozen kind this time. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5391 Don't you think we should call the Queen? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5392 But does it cover CATastrophic care? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5393 WALL STREET EMPEROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5394 He's so sad;no more rats to fire. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5395 TRump's poster pussycat pet 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5396 Where's my pipe, my bowl, and my fiddler's three? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5397 Apparently "Royal Mistress" wasn't what Princess PoopyPants had in mind 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5398 I told you we should not let Felix watch Game of Thrones. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5399 Well...now...maybe "King of the Jungle Gym" was, like, a compliment. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5400 I know it's excessive, but just think of the memes. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5401 Sure it's an asphalt jungle out there, but Bagheera, you're an indoor kitty. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5402 We have rid you of that troublesome dog. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5403 "-Sorry, we ran out of mice". 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5404 Perrrfect. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5405 A cat may look at a king? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5406 We think it's time for an intervention. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5407 All hail His Grace, Scratch of House Tabby, First of His Name, King of Mice and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Bedrooms, and Protector of the Couch. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5408 All I can figure – it's something about a royal president having nine lives. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5409 Princess, would you mind mommy if she tells you to stop clawing the curtains, you don't have the Midas touch? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5410 He believes in the divine right of kings. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5411 So I hear the owner is a former SWAT Captain 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5412 So Mittens, Bob and I wanted to chat with you about your choice in role models... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5413 I'm sorry, Stan. Fluffy has decreed that you move out. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5414 It's almost like the crown is making him too uneasy. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5415 Who thought mouse-care could be so complicated? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5416 Sure, you said. Calling him Top Cat will not go to his head. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5417 Perhaps it was the caviar at the brunch 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5418 What do you mean it's him or you? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5419 I'm not complaining, but the Mouse King had more attendants. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5420 I just assumed he'd appreciate this. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5421 YOU go eat the mice, but bring me some caviar, meow! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5422 We want to break this to you gently. You are not Donald Trump. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5423 Big cheese, it is! Coming right up! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5424 I knew this, I just wasn't sure that he did. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5425 Wait until you see his litter box. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5426 He is third in feline. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5427 No, Hank, I wouldn't have spent $320 on the outfit if I knew we'd only get fourteen likes on Instagram. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5428 While, yes we consider ourselves friends of the crown, we are pressed to declare ourselves loyal subjects. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5429 I suggested a corroborative test of his DNA but he issued a proclamation against it. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5430 You have more talent in your front left paw than Oliver has in his entire body. The muse is a fickle mistress. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5431 It's just margarine. She'll be fine. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5432 Dr. Bernard says this phase will pass. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5433 You're the one that wanted Freddie Mercury's cat 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5434 There may be some lingering resentment. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5435 No, no, no! It must be fancy feast. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5436 I have been trying to tell you that soft food is the gateway to entitlement. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5437 Guess the kids have watched Lion King a few too many times. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5438 Can you at least send out your royal guards to kill the mice? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5439 If only we hadn't let him watch so much of the Donald 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5440 I'm legit. Believe me. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5441 We'll only return your pants if you promise to stop soiling them. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5442 Looks like all that CNN spoiled his plans to establish a monarchy. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5443 Let me get this straight, Tom: Because Tim Toldrum died, you're now "King of the Cats"? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5444 " Meet Katleesi , Mother of Puss the Magic Dragon". 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5445 With that new Halloween costume, he looks just like Joffrey Baratheon, don't you think? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5446 maybe we never should have let him on the bed? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5447 I wish you'd stop giving him the royal treatment every time he shows his distemper. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5448 I think he's holding out for deification. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5449 I see you are feeling imperial. I get it. But I wouldn't exactly call a fourth floor walk-up studio apartment an empire. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5450 No question he's been bingeing on the king salmon you've been putting down. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5451 Did you have to get a taxonomist who specializes in social commentary? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5452 No, Fluffy, having the highest credit score doesn't make you better than the rest of us. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5453 Actually, it's always been like this. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5454 I’d like to name her Camilla Parker Bowles. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5455 Do you think the emperor likes his new clothes? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5456 Just because the living room looks like an uninhabitable wilderness and your name is Phillip does not make you its king. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5457 Actually, Tybalt is the Prince of Cats. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5458 I know you're not feeling good about yourself but I don't think another mouse is the answer. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5459 It’s your fault. You praised Henry here, simply for his regal feline demeanor. I said base it on something measurable, like the number of cat treats he eats every five minutes. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5460 The vet thought a one-chair palace would best suit his needs. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5461 The Intervention 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5462 We warned you that cats never cooperate. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5463 He is commanding us to bring him the mouse head on a silver platter. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5464 Well at least it was a stalemate! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5465 Queen for a day is one thing, but I refuse to catch live mice. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5466 We need to talk about your sashimi-grade ahi habit 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5467 I'm glad we never let 'Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child' apply to Mooch. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5468 He's disappointed with his subjects 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5469 Alan, there is nothing wrong with being a prince. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5470 We do understand how hard it is to know that you're just a paper tiger. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5471 Given that your kingdom consists of two subjects, I doubt you can storm the dog park. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5472 He can't handle the catnip caviar...we went too far 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5473 I'm sorry no one clicks on your piano playing video any more... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5474 Are you going to do Broadway??? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5475 How would you feel about transitioning to a parliamentary system? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5476 You should not have have fed him that catatonic! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5477 Well you were the one that named him Simba. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5478 Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Especially if you're a cat. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5479 I crown thee King Fat Cat. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5480 No, YOU spoil her! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5481 This place is a dump. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5482 He thinks he's the King of Siam. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5483 I told you, he is expecting a bigger crown. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5484 He wanted to be in charge, but now he isn't sure what to do. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5485 Well Boots, we're sorry you feel your cat's meow lifestyle shouldn't include time outs. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5486 I told you this would happen if we named him Louie Catorze. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5487 Proceed...I am listening.Bar 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5488 His jester is a piece of string. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5489 Bring me your pipe and your fiddlers three. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5490 You are so cliché. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5491 Our protest against using endangered species as rugs may have gone a tad too far. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5492 Do you think he can sing, 'If I were king of the forest'? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5493 I always order the Paparazzi Pizza. It's not that good but the presentation is fantastic. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5494 You need to workout more 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5495 This is not an intervention, Ralph. All we ask is that you don't throw up in our slippers. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5496 One mad dash across the Cardinals' baseball field, and he thinks he's royalty. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5497 Ok, how about "Pussycato Magnifico"? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5498 This definitely makes up for not having kids. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5499 Our regular taxidermist was out... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5500 Your grace. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5501 You didn't give me ermine and a crown when I was pregnant. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5502 And on top of it all, he wants a belly rub! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5503 You Highness, a bath has been run 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5504 I fear codependency, George. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5505 We know that you think that you're doing a fantastic job... but you still can't fire us! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5506 Fred just hasn't been the same since winning the game of thrones. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5507 I hear he graduated from the Royal Electoral College with the highest poll numbers ever! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5508 What do you mean that we are spoiling this fat cat?" 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5509 The doctor said it's Catatonia. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5510 Do you think that being named "Cat of the Day" went to his head just a little? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5511 I thought I was queen of the castle. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5512 'He hasn't been the same since you called him the fat cat'. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5513 Donald. Has ruling over your neighborhood felines with your unearned privilege become too emotionally challenging and psychoanalytically troubling? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5514 No, I don't necessarily consider myself a cat person. Why do you ask? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5515 Do we draw the line at human sacrifice? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5516 A cats home is his castle 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5517 Let's try dressing like peasants. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5518 The dogs were not attempting regicide, they just wanted to play with you! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5519 That didn't work. Let's try mouse under glass. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5520 King of the beasts applies only to our house, not the jungle. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5521 I dare him to try and grab this pussy. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5522 Not everyone can handle watching Game of Thrones. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5523 Can we go outside and play? Can wee, can wee? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5524 If you really want to look more majestic you need to get in touch with your inner cat 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5525 When is International Cat Appreciation Weed over? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5526 The story of King Lear does not end well. Do you want me to continue? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5527 YOU DEMANDED A THRONE, A CAPE AND A CROWN AND NOW... CATNIP? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5528 Be careful what you wish for, Mittens. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5529 Just tell us what you want. Caviar? Wagyu? Truffles? Lobster? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5530 Listen, we know you're upset that you haven't sired an heir. I'm afraid we have some bad news about that. Remember that trip to the vet last year? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5531 I suppose you'll want to wear the pants, too. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5532 It's cheaper than the HBO subscription, but I don't feel the same disdain I feel for Cersei. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5533 Too much tweeting 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5534 Don't look at me, you're the one who named him Cat King Cole! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5535 Maybe we shouldn't have named her "Princess" 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5536 Prince Tiger, you just had lunch! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5537 Okay Charles....it's time we have this conversation. You cannot torture the mice. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5538 The Vet said he's expressing his inner self and he wants you to catch his mice. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5539 Well, I did tell you that he was Sergeant Preston's dog! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5540 Your name is Turnip, not Trump! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5541 Still, an actual child couldn't be left home alone for at least five or so years. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5542 Pizzarazzi 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5543 So, is that dry clean only? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5544 Even a Kat can look at a king. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5545 No Kittles, there's isn't any caviar in the canned tuna 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5546 Rule-y fat cat. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5547 Maybe we should have taken the pet training class. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5548 Yes, that's right. Responsibility comes with royalty. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5549 It was small, round and red like a laser, and it moved so fast! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5550 Your majesty, will you allow us a slice of pizza at Costco when we get your new 100lb bag of cat food today? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5551 We feel and Intervention is necessary. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5552 I know this is hard to accept - but we're out of tuna-flavored food. Could you possibly tolerate salmon-flavored for a few days? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5553 Well, whatdja run for, then?? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5554 Sorry, but that was "TheTudors" last season . . . 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5555 I am now a hostage negotiator. What will it take to get OUR lives back? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5556 Who died and left me king of the jungle? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5557 Are we asking to much that you poop inside the box we've provided for you? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5558 Perhaps you should have hired a communications director who could do more than just hiss. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5559 Won't you tell Mommy and Daddy who dropped you at the shelter? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5560 I'd rather be a princess . 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5561 Doth our Queen wish us to bring her a mouse? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5562 Well, anyway, it's probably just the casting director in me. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5563 You know, his breed is a Rex. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5564 Post-partum depression comes with the new role. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5565 He's got a bit of a complex... he thinks he's the President of the United States." 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5566 One tramatic trip to the vet doesn't mean there won't be gravy in your cat food. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5567 This has gone too far. You have to stop binge watching "The Lion King." 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5568 You think you were the Lion King in what life? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5569 But I thought he liked pageants? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5570 She just found out what the president meant when he said he was looking for a little pussy.... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5571 So, I spit in a tube and the ancestry website sent me this... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5572 "But darling, your tasty treat commercials royalties ran out months ago". 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5573 Is alpha-cat a phrase? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5574 She's twenty-seven today and only on her third life. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5575 I told you that Gold Fish would be easier to look after 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5576 He feels there isn't enough empathy for Cersei on Game of Thrones. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5577 Dear, he wants know what's for dinner...... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5578 All those "likes" went to her head. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5579 So now you agree we should have named him Duke? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5580 You have every right to feel superior. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5581 We shouldn't have named him Louis le Chat. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5582 Well, you said you didn't want a dog. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5583 The taxidermist must not know about taxoplasmosis 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5584 We need to talk about the lion of succession. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5585 Even though you ate our goldfish, we still forgive you. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5586 I know that lions are king of the jungle, and cats are descendants of lions, but don't you think this is going too far? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5587 We did try to tell you this job is hard. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5588 Think we've overdone it a bit? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5589 Do you think all that Fancy Feast has gone to his head? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5590 As soon as he lets us leave the room, I'm calling Jackson Galaxy. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5591 It's all in the wrist. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5592 Boss- you don't look too smart. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5593 He would not have been so distressed if he had lost half his cat kingdom.. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5594 Too many trophies.... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5595 He has insisted on a gold plated litter box. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5596 They warn about their curiosity but never the monarchies. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5597 I have bad news about the line of succession, Max the 9th. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5598 We're sorry, but we promised the kids we'd adopt a dog. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5599 Do you think he knows where he left his boots. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5600 I say no more Lion King videos for this guy.... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5601 You're not going to catch the fur ball with your hands cupped that far back. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5602 We've been meaning to tell you where kittens comes from... 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5603 I don't know. She looks pretty natural to me. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5604 I ordered us the pizzarazzi! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5605 Your Highness, please believe us - we'll never feed you kibble again. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5606 No scepter while you're sulking, Whiskers. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5607 Hand me the remote, loyal subjects. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5608 hi 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5609 Is there anything more we can do for you? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5610 The video going viral has really gone to his head. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5611 ...and then the mice made me their King because I am too fat to catch them. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5612 just another fat cat with a crown 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5613 We know you really liked the goldfish. And the goldfish liked you, too. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5614 But if he DID have clothes it would just be weird. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5615 I only wanted to be King for a Day, but I forgot I have 9 lives! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5616 Do you think this upholstery comes in keyboard? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5617 Let's get him spayed. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5618 Now it's going to be far worse sir, the ones you left will exponentially increase their reproduction rate. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5619 He isn't just a house cat - he's a palace cat. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5620 Prince Harry Von Fluffy Bottom, it's time you knew the truth. You're adopted. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5621 Your dinner will be lactose-free, gluten-free and all organic. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5622 We know that you favor foie gras over Fancy Feast, but we are concerned about your image as a self-centered, overweight monarch who cares nothing about the welfare of others. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5623 I think his "mousing"days are over! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5624 We are sorry you think this house is a dump. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5625 I think Jasper likes his new litter box . 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5626 I think we just got promoted to peasants. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5627 No, we're not learning Dothraki, and we're not buying you an iron throne. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5628 You're...an asshole. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5629 Since when do we live in a meownarchy? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5630 John, it's your turn to be the Jester, and if you really want us to see that movie tonight, you better be funny. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5631 Would Pepto Bismol help? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5632 I'm glad the coup was unsuccessful. What's with the ennui? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5633 It all started with a cute kitten video. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5634 He is under the delusion that he lounges alone. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5635 If only we'd let him have one litter. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5636 Excuse me ... you lost the popular vote for King Cat ... and there is no electoral college in this house. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5637 You thought you we so punny naming him "Empurror." 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5638 We have a problem. It's Purrussia. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5639 Why is no one rubbing my belly? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5640 This is Monarch. He'll be taking your place when you leave me. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5641 Fat for a king. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5642 He seems to be really into the costume this week 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5643 I ordered paparazzi pizza. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5644 I know Brexit sucks. But stop being such a pussy. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5645 Do you think we've gone too PETA? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5646 It's the royal catnip. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5647 What do you want for dinner? Meow once for chicken, twice for fish. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5648 Did neither of you see 'The King and I?' Your heads are not to be higher than mine! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5649 I didn't know this was what the hotel meant by "the Royal Suite"! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5650 How do you think she became pregnant, having never left the house? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5651 Whiskers, please don't tell us to "clean the cat box, peasants" 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5652 Fluffy says that if North Korea attacks Guam that he will reign down the fire and fury of his cat litter on Kim Jong-un. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5653 Your highness, we are running out of mice 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5654 It's an absolute meow-narchy! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5655 And I suppose you dressed the kids up as Mouseketeers? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5656 It's nice to have an authoritarian who sleeps all day. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5657 But the Iron Throne would be much less comfortable! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5658 We've learned that having your own YouTube channel doesn't guarentee happiness. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5659 I think he heard us talking about taking a trip to the vet. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5660 Relax, Your Majesty, it's #ThroneCatThursday, 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5661 We think it's time you abdicate the throne or let us get a dog. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5662 PetSmart said they would do an equal exchange for the Oval Office Litter Box. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5663 Honey....that's not his tail" 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5664 There's a great, big world beyond Little Big Shots. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5665 You told me to cancel the HBO subscription. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5666 We decided to report you for abuse 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5667 Do you want to tell him what happens to King Joffrey? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5668 He figures with his nine lives, he could win the Game of Thrones 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5669 Henry hasn't ordered any beheadings or played his lute in months; it's time for a trip to the vet. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5670 Your Highness, you really should remove your robe before using the royal sandbox. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5671 It's a Patsy. Thursday, breakfast, earrings, note ‘I belong to you Holly’. My mind reeled, I saw mean red, ohh... Cat, nameless poor slob river cat. Doc knows wild things, he tells me one thing Fred darling... Cat has become a dote addict. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5672 Some days it's ONLY dogs that reign. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5673 Mr. Whiskers thinks Henry VIII is his spirit animal. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5674 I'm sorry Pickles, but when we say you rule the house we don't mean it literally. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5675 I had my tubes tied as you commanded. Your supremacy is assured. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5676 She's sick of all the fake news about cats. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5677 I understand, but still, I don't think this place is big enough for you to have children. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5678 all of a sudden She's acting like the queen of sheba 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5679 Since we discovered his heritage - ought'n we inform Buckingham Palace ? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5680 He is litterly the king of the house 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5681 But seriously, is one of you going to fix me a drink, or what? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5682 Of COURSE I'm troubled by his lack of discipline, unwillingness to respect boundaries, and his general dis-temperment. The whole "prima noctae" thing is the last straw. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5683 Now go out and get a job. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5684 Sorry your majesty, I can't make him wear a jester's costume. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5685 You shouldn't have left that National Geographic out with the article about how ancient Egyptians worshiped cats. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5686 That's a yes on the queen, but no on the court jester. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5687 Wake up! Your kingdom needs you! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5688 Hank VIII, only *you* can prevent Mice-ogeny. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5689 So what if the Cat in the Hat is more famous, your crown is so much shinier. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5690 How would you like your mouse tonight roasted or poached? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5691 Why did your therapist suggest that we you bring home a little girl? Are you ready to assume this responsibility? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5692 I told you that The Donald was not a good name for a cat. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5693 The homeowners association rejected his ultimatum to cede total control. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5694 Your Highness, a usurper will be arriving in about 9 months. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5695 It's his take on King Lear and Cat in the Hal. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5696 Pussy tried to grab me today. Can she do that now? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5697 He's been this way since Mrs. Kelly's Great Dane had pups. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5698 Remember we all laughed when he announced he was running? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5699 Well.....maybe it was the largest coronation crowd ever. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5700 We want to help but first you need to get off the furniture. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5701 Apparently, a cat may also look like a king. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5702 This is no cat who would be king. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5703 Sir Snowball III... you're adopted. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5704 What did you expect when you named him Prince? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5705 Stick to the point 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5706 He says your weak and you're fired. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5707 Tell us, again, about your first 100 days in office. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5708 He would've wanted to be remembered like this. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5709 I cleaned him last week. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5710 Cat Can Do. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5711 You have to face it, at this point, there is no chance that Westeros will be conquered by an army of cats. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5712 Maybe feeding him the leftover steak tips wasn't such a good idea? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5713 I'm sorry, but you're an outside king. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5714 Yes, Your Meowjesty? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5715 We tried to send a raven message ... but you ate it. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5716 The truth is, Louis, we are dog people. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5717 But he solemnly swears "in cat sickness or in cat health," Queenie! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5718 Have you been influenced by the Game of Thrones? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5719 The crown is purrfect 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5720 It's embarrassing when the neighbors ask "How's King Fat Cat Doing?" 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5721 Easy lies the head that wears a crown. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5722 Kitty, the sad truth is no one ever gets a purrfectly ever after life. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5723 More lap time for extra fish? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5724 Is there anything else we can do to please you, My Lord? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5725 I don't feel like King of the Jungle. Play "The Circle of Life" and grovel before me some more. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5726 So cats really are master's of their domain! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5727 She just signed the Magna Cata. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5728 We promise to treat each other like royalty 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5729 She is not amused, Dad. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5730 Where's the catnip! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5731 She's taking Game of Thrones very seriously. Did you see the Dragonflies she left on the porch this morning? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5732 Aren't the emperor's new clothes fabulous? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5733 You're not an outdoor king. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5734 He's got YouTube fatigue. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5735 He's been into the 'royal farms' catnip again. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5736 He seems overqualified for the iron throne. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5737 Honey, not exactly what I meant when I suggested a threesome? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5738 Long live the Kat 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5739 We're so sorry Pluto soiled your coronation carpet. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5740 He's realized his "Let them eat catnip" decree was all sorts of wrong. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5741 I suppose you want your own tv remote too, your majesty! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5742 Senator, please don't vote to repeal Obamacare 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5743 Don't be ridiculous, Wendell. I most certainly said "pepperoni", not "paparazzi". 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5744 All I can say is be careful of Cersei! 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5745 I told you that naming him Joffrey was a terrible mistake. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5746 Get over it Blanche, this is the closest we will get to living like royalty 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5747 You can still eat mouse, just under glass. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5748 How about together we see a therapist? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5749 The king is dead, long live the king 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5750 One does not prefer Whiskas 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5751 WinterPurr is coming. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5752 Do they make king cat beds? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5753 Will Your Highness be dining on Friskies or Fancy Feast tonight? 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5754 Ever since January, it's been an imperial residency. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5755 You just can't go declaring war on the neighbors over a ball of twine. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5756 The cat in the hat is too damn fat. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5757 I think he's finding it harder to be Puss. 1.0385 0.03922 26 25 1 0
5758 We're talking about that naught word that derives from "fornication under consent of kat." 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5759 Fido left home when Tiger usurped the crown. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5760 Would your Highness like his warm milk now or later? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5761 We really do need to cut back on the carbs. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5762 I think he's missing his old life before he became 'King of Beasts'. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5763 Dad, can we not have fish again tonight? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5764 What outrageous fortune, your highness? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5765 Declawing guilt. We have to get over it. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5766 "Soon as this getup takes effect, Old King Cat will be a merry old soul again! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5767 King Kat, Regretting All He Ate today And discussing it with his owner's. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5768 The Emperor has no clothes! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5769 Are you positive that's ermine? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5770 You know, she's been acting strange ever since the start of the new season of "Game of Thrones"... 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5771 You know, Honey, I'm thinking that this demand for a daily mouse served on a silver platter may just be a little extreme, even for Fluffy. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5772 Honey, I'm afraid he's suffering from Post Trumpmatic Stress Disorder! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5773 We've been sitting here for over two hours, when do you think his majesty will let us get up and start our dinner? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5774 Meow your grace. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5775 Maybe if you truly felt like our little king, you wouldn't need to prance around as this absurd caricature of a king. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5776 But, Your Majesty, we've tried to meet your every knead. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5777 I told you we should have limited his "wizard of oz" screen time 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5778 I was at the Elton John Concert last night. After Rocket Man he sang, You're so Vain, you probably think the song is about you. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5779 But where's Jimmy? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5780 Heavy lies the crown, Mr. Tibbles. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5781 You may be the King of Cats ... but you're still just a damn cat! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5782 Maybe we should stop calling him Fat Cat 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5783 "He has had delusions of grandeur ever since seeing "The Lion King". 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5784 I told you letting her pretend she was Marie Antoinette would lead to no good. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5785 I hear Scaramucci's available. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5786 "I guess that's what they mean by 'The Cat's Meow'". 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5787 So you didn't catch that mouse, but at least you tried. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5788 So, they crowned you 'King of the Cat's Got Your Tongue' at your club? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5789 He's really rubbing it in our faces now. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5790 Has the rear appendage always been a problem for you, or just since the coronation? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5791 His tummy tuck produced illusions of grandeur! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5792 You know you’ve hit bottom when you’re in a cat cliché cartoon. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5793 Too much catnip for the Queen Bee! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5794 Your turn for the royal litter box. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5795 Was the litter box remodel your idea or the cat's? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5796 That's NOT what we meant when we told you to stop the tweeting! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5797 If you want to be treated like royalty, you have to wear the get-up. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5798 Let them eat discount cat food. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5799 Will it be fish or chicken this evening? 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5800 No, sire, we have yet to find the lair of the rod dot, but we have our best people working on it! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5801 Honey, I've tried everything from coat hangers to twine and I can't seem to get His Highness to sit up in his throne!... I .... I'm really at my wit's end! 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5802 He just got his own show on NetFlix 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5803 I think we should reconsider sending him to Outward Bound. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5804 Admit it -- naming him Joffrey was just a bad idea. 1.0370 0.03774 27 26 1 0
5805 I can tell you, it's no good unless I can have your complete loyalty and forgiveness for everything. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5806 ... and they froze all his assets to pay for the cat toys ... 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5807 I told you we should have gone with the fish. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5808 At least it's HONEST... 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5809 Unfortunately, catnip king is not an official title. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5810 Honey, we need to clean. The cat thinks he's the king of the jungle. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5811 Lion King domesticated... 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5812 So, he is related to the king of the jungle, eh? 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5813 Hamstring me a gazelle, would you? 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5814 I'm concerned we've let The Donald's "Let Trump be Trump" therapeutic role playing go a bit too far. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5815 What would Dr Seuss say? 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5816 I preferred the Elephant. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5817 "Your Purr-ness?!" The shelter really ought to warn you about this sort of thing. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5818 We've found too many velvet furballs laying around the house, my Empurror. I think it's time we get that winter coat off you. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5819 Definitely unpresidential. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5820 The day Felix found out he had been surgically altered are a young kitten. 1.0357 0.03637 28 27 1 0
5821 No, I said a cat can look at a king. 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5822 Game of Thrones won’t be your last opportunity. 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5823 Yes, you're our pet but why do you want us to hate Bo? 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5824 Give him baking soda 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5825 So your not King of the Cat-sle 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5826 Well it's cheaper than a grandchild Well it's cheaper than a grandchild, 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5827 Your majesty, we come to you asking that no more fur balls wind up in the kingdoms bathroom 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5828 It's your turn to juggle the kibbles. 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5829 It never occurred to us visitation rights "every other weekend" means "every other season" in cat years. 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5830 It's the Trump syndrome. 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5831 We just wish that you not tweet so much, OK? 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5832 Succession should be peaceful now that he is neutered. 1.0345 0.03509 29 28 1 0
5833 I liked it better when he thought he was from County Cheshire. 1.0333 0.03390 30 29 1 0
5834 Do you really think we'll get his weight in gold. 1.0333 0.03390 30 29 1 0
5835 It's not the steak, it's the ketchup 1.0333 0.03390 30 29 1 0
5836 Another game of chess? 1.0333 0.03390 30 29 1 0
5837 It lacks a human element. 1.0333 0.03390 30 29 1 0
5838 So many cats to tweet--so little time. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
5839 But you wanted to eat the canary. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
5840 Yes, the ermine is expensive, but we recycle the furballs. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
5841 His Mother slept with some Targaryen apparently 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
5842 I'm sorry, but I've decided I'm going to start having sex with the cat 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
5843 He's just reeling from the Magna Cata 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
5844 I think we have to go with the full coup d'etat option, dear. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
5845 Yeah, let me go, though, because I've gotta start tweeting some shit to make this guy crazy. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
5846 You check the mouse traps and I'll go milk the cow. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
5847 Don't be sad that there weren't many who wanted to have an audience with you. When we elected to adopt you, we weren't thinking of a monarchy at all. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
5848 He cant say your majesty like I can say Your majesty. 1.0303 0.03077 33 32 1 0
5849 OK Fluffy. That's enough of the gold and stuff. But we are definitely NOT going to allow you to change your name to Donald. 1.0303 0.03077 33 32 1 0
5850 And after wrestling that piece of pizza away from that NYC rat I became King Kat. 1.0303 0.03077 33 32 1 0
5851 I thought you said this was a quiet little bistro! 1.0278 0.02817 36 35 1 0
5852 Maybe we should've gotten a dog. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5853 Just play with your cat toys and try to forget that you couldn't roll back the sea. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5854 Draw me up a hot nap, preferably with a sunny spot. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5855 I suppose I got here by thinking outside the litter box. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5856 I said you could LOOK at the king, not EAT him! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5857 I don't understand why she's so upset; I only asked to borrow the cape not to keep it! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5858 All that said, how will I avoid being the next catastrophe? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5859 The royal bath is a rite of passage in this kingdom. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5860 Out ranks us but likes us. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5861 We were wrong to name him Donald. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5862 We have to revoke the tweeting; the neighbors are embarrassed. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5863 You think too much catnip was like opioids to her? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5864 He's king of the convertible studio. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5865 We advise you not to fire the dog. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5866 This is taking the royal breed a bit too far. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5867 But, how does the new baby make you feel? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5868 Looks like the cat has been eating too much margarine again. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5869 Look, you're King of the Forest. If you hurry up, you can catch up with Dorothy to go see the Wizard of Oz. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5870 Now, do I have this right? You want a potty box in the kitchen. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5871 What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5872 I have to forget you, though I hate that word 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5873 Yo, my King it's a hard job being the boss. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5874 Well... they chose me, so I guess it's all legitimate. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5875 I'll give you one guess what her royal highness did with the court hamster. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5876 I didn't coronate him. Did you? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5877 Must you always win? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5878 HE'S BUMMED THAT THE UNIVERSAL CAT-NIP BILL DIDN'T PASS 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5879 Permission to approach the bench, your Honor? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5880 I'm sorry, we can't make your litter out of gold nuggets. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5881 I don't care that you're king, you've got too many tongues. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5882 We are not amused 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5883 It's just that being a fat cat isn't cool now. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5884 Being a fat cat doesn't mean you can throw in our faces like this... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5885 I just take so much joy in contributing to another life! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5886 I think she just misses the chase. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5887 I ordered pepperoni pizza, not paparazzi pizza! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5888 Would monsieur like a shave? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5889 Do you want me to get the Chinese kitty to put pressure on the North Korean kitty? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5890 I think he needs a new crown, his ears don't fit in this one anymore. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5891 I think that might actually be her own hair! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5892 Should we tell him he's actually not a lion? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
5893 Remember when we thought the cone of shame was a royal pain! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5894 This three-way is gonna get NASTY. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5895 We were hoping to take a long weekend next June. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5896 She became her name! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5897 Stop looking this forlorn, she might have eloped with a scaramouch, but you've still got your heirs! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5898 He says the 9 lives are fine, but he would have preferred 9 wives. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5899 New king's orders: No best friends allowed 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5900 Get me a mirror! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5901 But, Martin Luther, now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5902 One neutering, declawing and obedience class later...and it's still king of the jungle." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5903 We got you the crown, chair, and cape - and we get "A dump" from you? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5904 Feline-right theory of kingship. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5905 Not to worry. My other eight lives are my successors. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5906 One more fur ball and your reign is over! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5907 We've decided to move out so you can have the place to yourself. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5908 It's missing something. . . . 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5909 I'll have the paparazzi and sausage please. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5910 Good morning, Sir Cajole. May I take your robe and put out the Royal Nutrients? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5911 She's the one he grabbed the most. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5912 Fluffy, when we said you are the King of house, we did not mean it 'litterally' 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5913 Your Majesty, asking us to chase mice is not part of the deal. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5914 Living with him in NOT easy 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5915 You've done it again... you're the champ of musical chairs! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5916 I'm not the source of the Tunagate leaks, but I think I know who is. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5917 You have to stop tweeting the canary. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5918 Human! Fetch me my fancy feast! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5919 Tweeting can be tiring Your Highness (Trump) 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5920 Hail to the King...Kitty 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
5921 The vet warned us that cats are sometimes very imperious. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5922 I told you we shouldn't let him watch the "Wizard of Oz." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5923 The world is mix grill with no meat sauce. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5924 I am *not* addressing you as "your highness." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5925 Sire, adoption is not the stigma in Royal Succession it once was. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5926 Ummm... maybe which try bowing down. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5927 She says it wasn't the Russians that let her get into this position. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5928 Maybe we made a mistake with the name Rex. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5929 I told you we shouldn't have named her Queenie 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5930 Mitzy, no more sacking mommy's secret snack drawer. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5931 Still got your dog whistle? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5932 He thinks he is king of the pussy cats 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
5933 Are you sure the vet prescribed Regicide? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5934 Noblesse oblige. Purr-form your royal duties, King Katniss. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5935 It's a bit Rococo and I'd say we're more Late-Modern. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5936 He thinks his daddy was a lion. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5937 I'm intrigued. Tell me more about those investments called TIGRs, CATs, and LIONs. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5938 He just saw the Wizard of Oz and is deflated. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5939 Itchy lies the head that wears a crown. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5940 Meow. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5941 The paparizza here is to die for. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5942 I'm sorry King Henry, but beheading is just too extreme. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5943 So all I have to do is get more followers? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5944 I'm sorry Mr. Scuffles, you were neutered before you could have any descendants. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5945 From the sofa to the catbird seat, we lose. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5946 Seven more episodes to go is still a lot. I think your "Game of Thrones is ending" depression is a bit premature. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5947 Maybe we should have got a dog. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5948 You said, "Let him see Game of Thrones." 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5949 I've always heard crowns can be very heavy. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5950 This is what always happens to the Prince of Tails when the old Queen just won't abdi-cat(e). 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5951 But you're the King for your ninth life. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5952 Somethings are just worth waiting for! The next Game of Thrones Book is due out any day now! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5953 I hate it when he slumps on his throne 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5954 Who died and made him king? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5955 Yes, he dows have delusions of grandure. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
5956 You stand in the presence of Mittens, First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
5957 You had to let him watch Lion King? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5958 If you keep the attitude up, we may bring back King Kong. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5959 You know what happened to Macbeth in the end don't you? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5960 All hail his grace, Sir Pounce, First of his Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5961 Darling, I thought I was your queen! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5962 Every fat cat's reign eventually comes to an end. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5963 We should buy him a boat. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
5964 I won the electoral college, you can't make me go to the vet. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5965 Okay, I draw the line on his going gluten free. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5966 OK. Maybe Trump wasn't the best name for our cat. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5967 What is the Magna Carta's position on tummy rubs? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5968 They were out of donuts. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5969 Next week, your 'Me! Ow!' will be replaced by a 'Bow! Wow!' 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
5970 Uneasy lies the head... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5971 We’re still not going to gild your litter box. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5972 It's really tough being the top cat. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5973 Why don't you try a little golf to relax? You can keep your throne; just call it a working vacation. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5974 Our King's ideology is mostly "middle-of-the-room." 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5975 I am moving to a mono-species autocratic efficiency. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5976 He’s a British Royal Breed. In England only Dukes can own one. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5977 "Your Highness, it's my turn to wear the crown". 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5978 As you wish, sire. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5979 No, her name is Kitty, Queen is just her job! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5980 So...bragging about grabbing some was the easy part? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5981 Henry is my 8th cat, but I'm adulting so I just call him Henry. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5982 The cat videos are not worth the costume budget. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5983 It's time to abdicat the throne. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5984 The bill for his litter box came today. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5985 Tomorrow is the free spay clinic... 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
5986 An Image I could see could be worth a 1000 words. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5987 We watched the "Lion Kng" last night. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5988 You're boring me! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5989 We rescued him from a feudal uprising. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5990 The royal prerogative does not include scratching the sofa. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5991 You misunderstood me - I said stay away from Tweety Bird not stay away from Twitter. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
5992 As you loyal subjects, we have to neuter you. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5993 Cats just won't be herded, even by Your Majesty. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5994 Will it be Charles or William? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5995 Maybe Simba was a bad choice of names? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
5996 The King of the Road needs a rest now and then. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5997 Do not be mad, you can go out on weekends. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
5998 You know, a simple meow goes a long way/ 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
5999 King of the Pussies is a NICE title, Harley. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6000 Seems like it isn't enough to just look at a queen. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6001 Big Boy doesn't wear bandanas anymore. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6002 Buzz off, I've been stung before 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6003 Why do we keep hoping he'll change? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6004 It's a shame he ate the sixteen white rats you trained, to draw his carriage, before anyone got to see it. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6005 Is there any chance that you might reconsider? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6006 It was at this moment, as Harriet spoke about irregular feedings and the punishment, that Larry realized he should have never let the cat watch that Vice episode on Micronations. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6007 Real kings can't have kittens. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6008 Just think of it as getting more staff 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6009 There goes the neighborhood. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6010 We really need to talk about your Game Of Thrones binge watching. 1.0000 0.03922 26 26 0 0
6011 He hasn't been himself since the mice left. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6012 Let Kitty be Kitty? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6013 I hope her retinue takes her home soon. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6014 Don't be depressed. Think of it as just a bigger family. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6015 Sorry, he said, "My kingdom for a horse" not a cat. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6016 Wear what you want, but Burger King says you're not welcome back after what you did to their deep fryer. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6017 Do you remember, Rex, when Mommy and Daddy first mentioned the concept of "servant leadership?" 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6018 At least, he doesn't pussyfoot around on who rules the house! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6019 The prince is a superhero. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6020 You got the throne so now will you raise the drawbridge? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6021 I'm a subject to his every whim 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6022 It's kind of trickle-down. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6023 Good thing he doesn't have a successor, he will never abdicate. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6024 Meowller has empaneled a grand jury to look at his Siamese connections. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6025 I'm getting a sense of remorse here Bob...oh...Joan, get me a bowl of ice cream...you know what? ...make it two and be quick about it. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6026 More caged birds and catnit by the fortnight or you'll both be hanged for treason. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6027 Queenie, have you seen the new puppy anywhere? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6028 This cat can sure strike a regal pose all within spit and a half timing. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6029 You're the cat expert here, should we be concerned? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6030 Her Majesty is collapsing under the weight of her Royal duties. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6031 The question is .. Who's turn is it to fetch me the Newyorker! And whos turn is it to clean my litter box ? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6032 The pheasantry is stewing, sure. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6033 Methinks the cat is not amused. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6034 So he ate catnap? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6035 You're not King of the Jungle, but you are still our king. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6036 My kingdom for a toy mouse! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6037 It's okay sweetie, the ROKU will be fixed by this evening... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6038 I know we said "Cats Rule!", but this has gone too far. We're not putting "Let them eat kibble" on your campaign website. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6039 I told you we shouldn't have named him 'Joffrey'. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6040 Perrrfect. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6041 Meow and Paw, I took care of the Wildlings. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6042 Bear in mind, he did lose the popular vote. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6043 I don't care what Kim Jong Un's cat can or can't do. This is New York, not Pyongyang, and you're not banishing us to the gulag! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6044 He's been like that ever since he ate the goldfish. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6045 How many more series of Game of Thrones? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6046 Waiting for your order! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6047 What time does Willy's daycare end? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6048 Well, now that everything has calmed down, perhaps we should call Mum and Dad. He did after all eat the children. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6049 I know she will return for her glass slipper! 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6050 He has been insufferable he caught that squirrel. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6051 Sorry, no king cat showed up to your cat nip soree. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6052 Your Highness, it's time for feral rehab. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6053 I'm sorry, but we've sworn allegiance to House Targaryen. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6054 Let them eat fish cake and sleep till noon. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6055 Sorry Rex but we don't think we'll be able to locate your birth parents. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6056 Okay, you aren't the Lion King, but you are the Laying King! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6057 It's the Trump Kitty! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6058 Cat is the king! Bring him the mouse. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6059 At least he's not wearing stockings and pink satin pants. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6060 Is His Majesty ready for His annual check-up? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6061 I told you he was taking 'Thrones' too seriously. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6062 It's hard to say if he's participating in the labor force. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6063 The chicken salad is still off limits. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6064 But it would be stupid to buy him a horse! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6065 I guess we could call you "King of the Concrete Jungle" 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6066 Do you really think by wearing that crown, you can become President Trump's pet at the White House? th 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6067 What can we do for you, your kittyness? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6068 Your scepter is fine, Rex, but about your orbs ... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6069 We are having this intervention to tell you that your fancy feasts are really cutting into our family budget. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6070 What are you guys looking at? Get me some milk... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6071 Sit - Up Straight ! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6072 Pussycat used to be queen of the house, but now she's worn out. Since Trump was elected, everyone's always grabbing her! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6073 But he only spent the weekend with our grandkids. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6074 He's been binge watching The Crown again. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6075 I asked Princess Peaches if we could serve her lunch in the drawing room, but she wants us to keep asking her for another few hours first. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6076 I told you we shouldn't have named him Sultan. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6077 He's upset over climate change. Milton Jefferson 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6078 Your Highness, Fido requests a stay of execution. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6079 I don't give him catnip often. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6080 It's okay honey. Even kings get hairballs sometimes 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6081 She says she's grown tired of canned cat food, dad, and wants to vegan 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6082 Why no, I haven't been dating. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6083 When we said King of the Jungle this isn't what we meant. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6084 Mortimer, we need to talk about you not bingeing Game of Thrones anymore. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6085 We've discussed it, and we feel that Game of Thrones isn't good for you. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6086 Well, that pretty catty of you. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6087 Louis XVI also believed that most people were happy with his reign. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6088 Mice for dessert is fine, but we draw the line at 30-year-old Port. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6089 Ooh, Gwumpy King PuddyFootFoot Kittywampus Meowmeow chop your fucking head off. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6090 His cosplay while binging Game of Thrones is a little extreme. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6091 Honey, don't you think your obsession with The Lion King has gonne a bit too far? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6092 We think we've been a little bit too submissive. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6093 A year from now you'll ask, "How did we ever live without a puppy?" 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6094 There was catnip everywhere and Whiskers was passed out in a paper bag. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6095 Relax, your royal highness. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6096 Please, ...just a nod. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6097 Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6098 So, your first wish was to be President, the Second was to be King, and what was your third wish? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6099 " Do you think he's really happy"? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6100 We just don't understand why you need the crown. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6101 Oh dear, you think we called him a 'royal pain' once too often? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6102 This is how he reacted when I told him we were getting another cat. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6103 No, darling, what John said was "Hear, hear, kitty!" 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6104 Ennui's already setting in. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6105 We're restricting this show: it's worse than your catnip habit. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6106 No, the Royal Veterinarian prescribed Cat Mix not cat fix. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6107 We're sorry that Mr Trump passed over you for Chief of Staff, but remember there's always next week. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6108 King Whiskers, when we say “exercise”, we mean the option holder would capture the intrinsic value -- not actually exercise. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6109 Cat gut gout. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6110 You were just supposed to look at him. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6111 We're from West Virginia, but we didn't vote for this. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6112 Don’t worry sweetie. You’re our little lion. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6113 Well, we could get a dog named Cromwell.... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6114 George and I were just wondering if you've made a decision about our request to have a child? It's been six years now, and neither of us is getting any younger.... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6115 But, he doesn't look like a lion? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6116 I'm thinking we should not have named a Siamese cat Yul Brynner. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6117 You fired the dog. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6118 YOUR TURN TO ASK FOR THE BED. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6119 Sorry about the rejection letter. I thought "The Car King" had potential. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6120 Jungle, schmungle...your therapist is right--just let it go, Harry. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6121 Well, of course she loves us. But do we still love her? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6122 The vet doesn't know how to stop the tweeting. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6123 I suppose he's worn out from walking to his food dish. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6124 He said Trump Cats were the best. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6125 I knew naming her Cersei was a mistake 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6126 He's a king, he just thinks he's a cat. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6127 I really think a dog is the way to go. 1.0000 0.03922 26 26 0 0
6128 "Entitlement" has gone to his head! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6129 Should we put her on a diet before winter comes? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6130 But Your Highness, Marie Catoinette is Austrian. You are Persian. This proposed marriage is not the cat's meow. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6131 He must have seen The Mummy. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6132 I always suspected as much. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6133 Maybe someday Amazon will have a flash sale in mice. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6134 I did beg you not to read The King Must Die... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6135 You just had to buy Fancy Feast. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6136 We understand you don't like domestic mice. We've arranged boarder crossings for all the mice your catdom needs to flourish. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6137 The struggle is real! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6138 Donald Trump is a jackass. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6139 Let's hope this is his ninth life. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6140 ....and should I alter my mind you shall hastily apply yourselves! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6141 What we have here...is a conflict of thrones... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6142 When Daddy and I say, 'holacracy,' we probably mean it. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6143 So it probably started at the Meetup at the Cat Cafe. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6144 He's truly a renaissance cat. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6145 How'd he get the crown? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6146 Woman: It's not really fair you don't let us change the TV channel. Cat: My castle, my rules. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6147 Tom attempting to find a queen. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6148 Maybe he needs a recliner 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6149 baby trump never grew up 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6150 That Game of Thrones marathon really took its toll! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6151 But, Binky, we told you working at the White House wouldn't last. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6152 Go peel me some yarn, humants. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6153 Ever since the coronation the royal litter box has taken on a particularly pungent aroma. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6154 How about him as our communications director? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6155 Can I get you some pate? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6156 Are you sure catnip has no opioid content? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6157 Coco, why don't you love us? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6158 It's time we tell you that Simba is not your biological father. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6159 This taxidermist, I think you may have given him the wrong impression. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6160 I think he's taking this whole "cat may look at a king" thing a bit too far. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6161 The fur balls are all rounded up, your highness. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6162 Honey, I don't know if he's as thrilled with your GOT obsession 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6163 You had a full day—no more mice. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6164 So the crown must pass to the Donald. He's the new "King of the Internetz". 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6165 Isn't this taking the king of viral's a little too far? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6166 He now says he is King of the forest. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6167 You have an attitude when you bow. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6168 I really need to stop watching Game of Thrones with my parents. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6169 Wut a pwitty wittle putty tat. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6170 You win, we'll get him neutered. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6171 How about King Joffrey? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6172 The vet said it was the worst case of despotism he's ever seen. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6173 You know we've always been happy to address you as "Your Royal Highness." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6174 I think "Kitty" is a royal pain in the butt. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6175 He just got offered a job as communications director. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6176 "People... oye vey!! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6177 I think that he's pining for that excitement of his life in the alley. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6178 The genetic test found he's not our son. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6179 He said he liked Kong at first. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6180 You always loved her more 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6181 Game of Thrones is so overrated. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6182 Yes your majesty, we will line your littler box in gold like the Donald. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6183 Let him lounge around all he wants. After all, he did get the crown by usurping the Nutcracker's Mouse King. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6184 He's depressed, he thinks there's only going to be nine seasons. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6185 He must be wondering where he left his scepter! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6186 Kitty just didn't believe the nine-lives limitation. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6187 Methinks, m'lord, we've had enough of mice for every meal. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6188 We thought that you would admire Robin Hood, not King John. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6189 I could see this coming in Season 6. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6190 Wouldst your Majestry request the presence of the Royal Catnip? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6191 I told you we shouldn't have names him Tybalt. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6192 First he's a tomcat. Now, he thinks he's king. Where have we seen this before? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6193 We have to buy him "Lavish Feast" because fancy isn't good enough anymore. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6194 It's totally untrue. You know it's just more fake mews. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6195 I know King Harold....I am not sure why people love that cat in a hat. Yes, he is such a commoner. Yes, your crown is much better. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6196 Just think how much fun it will be having a little prince around the house! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6197 i LOVE monday's! lol! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6198 Divorce Counseling from yours Purrly 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6199 We're going 'kitty' condo? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6200 But Mommy and Daddy still love you, don't we? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6201 I forgot it was shrimp Friday... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6202 ...Queen of Katzenjammer, Empress of Persians and Catalonia, Ruler of Qatar and Los Gatos... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6203 She's been depressed ever since the release of the Access Hollywood tapes. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6204 The king consults with his court. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6205 Is there really a crisis in the Kingdom, Donald? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6206 Grandiose,yes, but maybe catatonic? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6207 No, Fluffy, I do not think a moat around your litter box sounds reasonable. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6208 Be sure not to meet his gaze. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6209 I'm sorry but I'm leaving with John. It would never work between us. We are from two different worlds.........and species. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6210 It's our week for the Game of Thrones viewing party. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6211 Ok is first name is Doug, but he can make you purr in no time. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6212 Look, you know we're animal rights activists but this is pushing us to our limits. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6213 And he said we have to stop buying that dry stuff as well. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6214 I told you not to call him Rex. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6215 Enough stalling. Do I have my divorce or not? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6216 I'm sorry, we have to cut it to one Fancy Feast a night. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6217 Following the surprise of Reginald's 23andMe royal lineage confirmation, Frank and Carol soon found their double take, double checked. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6218 It's only a chess game, Lulu. There isn't any real mating. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6219 I told you that Coco had taken this role playing thing a bit too far... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6220 Now he's demanding diamonds in his litter box. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6221 So the mouse roared. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6222 I think he's taking "King of the Jungle" too literally. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6223 I told you not to place the litter box in the living room! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6224 Forget about the Mother of Dragons taking the throne, Felix has an army of trained mice. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6225 Too much Ancient Egypt on TV again. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6226 You better start acting like a normal cat! 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6227 You're calling this a new mousetrap? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6228 Let's hope the liberals don't hate this one. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6229 Want us to get you a mouse or should I say, mice? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6230 We miss Bert Parks too, Miss Whiskers 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6231 I hate fat cats; and tell him to keep his paws to himself. I hate fat cats; and tell him to keep his paws off me. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6232 Surely we can at least get our money back on the ermine. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6233 But your box is not like all the rest -- it's gold plated, with a silver trim. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6234 How ironic that you had named him Donald. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6235 Do you think Fluffy is trying to tell us something? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6236 Maybe so, but you're a king to us. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6237 Nowadays I get the appeal of monarchy 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6238 I hate fake mews. I vote we get a dog. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6239 You spoil that dog. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6240 Dad, where's the dog? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6241 We know you are the king around here, but this is no jungle, you have to use the litter box. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6242 It will take some getting used to, but I'm glad we got him taxidermed this way. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6243 Well, he looks like he may be King of the FatCats Club. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6244 It's the least we can do after he brought us that juicy rat. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6245 This is why I didn't want to name him Trump just because he's fat and orange! 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6246 We think GOT may be unhealthy for you. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6247 We're sorry, King Peanut. We promise we'll empty your litter box more frequently. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6248 Yes, you're still our Rex, but you've been de -sexed. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6249 Butlers, fetch me more cat treats. Remember now, I am the king... not you. Hurry, my royal stomach is growling for pizzazz! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6250 I hadn't considered my having a PhD in litter box care was required by Mr. Tiddles. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6251 I'm afraid this isn't bumping up the YouTube following as you expected. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6252 Right after I walked off stage, he grabbed me and said, "I'm the biggest star in the world." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6253 we really feel you should maybe not binge on Disney quite so much 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6254 Oh Mr.Cat King ,may I have a raise in my allowance? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6255 Royal prerogatives aren't so energizing. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6256 Does that thing come with buttons? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6257 I guess I overdid it on the mousetrap buffet. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6258 Your royal highness, I am sorry but it is true, Jon Snow is not coming to save you. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6259 We ran out of beef tartare again 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6260 OK. Cats rule and dogs drool. Now will drink your bowl of milk? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6261 His passion for Shakespeare has gone a bit too far. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6262 This is not Game of Thrones. We will not call you Ser Pounce. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6263 Okay, let's start by expressing our feelings using "I messages". 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6264 We warned you that being married to Morris could only end badly! 1.0000 0.03922 26 26 0 0
6265 Please give him a chance -- he's a "dog person" with redeeming qualities. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6266 Princess, now that you are almost a queen, you will need to be a bit more active in your reign. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6267 So, exactly what issues do you have 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6268 As I see it your highness, the people are bracing for CATastrophic times. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6269 I think making your cat King is the reason he gained so much weight. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6270 He says he's tired of trying to live up to our expectations. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6271 No no, he is not the Cat in the Hat. He is rather agile. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6272 Your father doesn't satisfy me sexually. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6273 Congratulations you are my new taste testers. Now taste. No one likes me. Poison incidents are up this year. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6274 I think we need to switch back to regular-strength catnip 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6275 For he's a jolly good fellow. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6276 I didn't think this would help with his self-esteem issues. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6277 If we asked do you think she would knight us? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6278 I say we name her Cersei. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6279 No sooner had I been crowned King was I then de-sexed, that's right 'fixed'. The days of this monarchy are surely numbered, mark my words! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6280 It was only a matter of time until this country elected a YouTube personality. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6281 Didn't you tell him we already watched the last episode of Game of Thrones? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6282 We may be looking at at case of "failure to launch" 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6283 So, we were wondering if we could have your ah... purrmission to go away for a night. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6284 You think you're better than me? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6285 We wish you could have your own bedroom too, but this is a studio apartment. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6286 Would not it better to have a dog? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6287 I told you it was dangerous to indulge him with all that fancy feast wet food, but you wouldn't listen. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6288 You are now crowned... KING FAT CAT!!! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6289 Frankly, I wish we'd stayed with Starbucks. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6290 I suppose we must tell the vet about the curious incident of the cat on the throne." "But the cat did nothing on the throne." "That was the curious incident, 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6291 You HAD to let him know the royal line of succession isn't gonna happen, he's spayed.! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6292 When I invited you over to watch Game of Thrones, I didn't mean for you to bring your cat. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6293 There is no 'elephant in the room', just us and KingWhiskerPuss. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6294 We're really sorry about the operation. You're still king. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6295 Allegory is so confusing. Is this yours or mine? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6296 What's that old adage, Henry, "Dogs have family, but cats have staff." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6297 It's OK, your jokers and clowns will be back as soon as the President fires them. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6298 Yes you are possibly the coolest cat that ever chased a mouse. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6299 The Marquis de Carabas has gas 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6300 You don't have to wear pants to wear a crown. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6301 Her Highness requests thee fetch her royal ball of string. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6302 No, no, we can keep the butt scratches. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6303 Is it really good to be the king? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6304 Do you love me more than...you know? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6305 Looks like Rex pulled another toolshed-tickle trunk heist. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6306 Not to worry, Kingsley, enough catnip and toys (live mice) for you are safely stored in case of any nuclear threat! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6307 You frightened a little mouse under her chair? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6308 This will not get you the "royal" treatment. You are not a King Pin, nor a Chess piece. And... it's not Halloween. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6309 I'm starting a taxidermy practice called "Game of Bones." 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6310 What is it you wish of us, O Master? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6311 Isn't "locked and loaded" a pretty strong message, your Highness? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6312 Which one do you think fits best: Simbooze of Mufasalky? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6313 You let the boy talk go to your head. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6314 Sorry, the Queen only takes corgis. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6315 I told you it was a mistake to name him Donald Trump 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6316 Winter is coming. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6317 Your Majesty. The mice do love you! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6318 That's it, no more Animal Channel 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6319 Couples Therapy Session # 579: An age old question, "Who will bell the cat?" 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6320 He is depressed because Donald Trump took away his health care. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6321 We should have known better. Its OPM Syndrome and what happens to a Progressive who feeds continuously on other People's Money. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6322 The doctor says that once you heal you'll never miss them. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6323 Emma is telling us they want to be called King George 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6324 Salt comes with our wounds. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6325 Looks like our little king has some nyan-ui. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6326 ...and there was a little girl there named Alice, yes, and she was trying to find her way home...It was the strangest thing. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6327 Do you think she would rather use a litter box? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6328 Rulers aren't for pussies. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6329 Whiskers, you went viral a week ago. I think it's time to start being a cat again. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6330 Does your brother sell cotton candy? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6331 As you're loyal subjects may we ask to use this space briefly? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6332 And you fought for the King of the Beasts crown? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6333 Stop being a helicator parent 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6334 Get up and walk around! Queen or not, you're still a quadruped. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6335 ...so then I said to myself, 'If Trump can do it, why can't I?' 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6336 You named him King Nebucatnezzar, what did you expect?!? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6337 As a psychiatrist and your father, I want you to tell me what is real and not real about Bertie and me. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6338 You know we love you, right? But, you're LARPing again, and we just can't do this anymore. Last time, Bob almost lost his job in that Black Knight misunderstanding! Isn't that right, Bob? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6339 Well, there he is...the King of Feasts! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6340 "You're right, Mr. Orange does look a lot like Trump"! 1.0000 0.03922 26 26 0 0
6341 You still can't beat a good belly rub! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6342 This wasn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted an open kitchen 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6343 I thought we were over with this when little Johnny went to college. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6344 Not sure if mid century modern was the right choice for us. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6345 A real game of thrones with this one, am I right? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6346 I don't think that "let them eat mice" is the proper response. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6347 We don't mind being your loyal subjects, but the milkman says he's not bowing anymore. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6348 Robert Purratheon 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6349 You're supposed tp eat the mice, not try to rule over them 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6350 Paul and Michelle choosing a name to be ignored. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6351 Did you order the paparazzi pizza? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6352 You should see his catsle. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6353 He just doesn't work as a coffee table. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6354 His name is Wheeler Walker, Jr. Jr. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6355 Mon Dieu, Cherie Chat! Uneasy lies the head that wears a silly crown! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6356 He doesn't seem to get it that he's a fierce descendent of the king of the forest 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6357 And the cat came back ..... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6358 He is to be addressed as "His Recumbancy, Felix Rex, the First." 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6359 Is it catnip or cat nap, Dad? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6360 CNN says last October he secretly sniffed the junk of Putin's cat in a Trump Tower alley. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6361 What were you saying about being dog people? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6362 I told you the Halloween costume was a bad idea. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6363 I think it needs to be said: your meme was not that cute. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6364 You're not a cat person? What about a "royalty" person? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6365 He ate the "Whole Thing"! 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6366 The ancient het-W parallel makes my Hebrew name cognate with 'weasel'. My subjects will revolt when they find out I'm related to a polecat. It's a catastrophe. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6367 Once again, "Cats Rule, Dogs Droole" is not to be taken literally. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6368 Don't blame him. All of the stores, and even Amazon, are out of your favorite canned fish. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6369 ...and procure a crystal chalice like in the commercial. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6370 Choose between me and a 'cat-as-trophy'ic marriage! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6371 But Sheeba, a crown is antithetical to the whole idea of democracy. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6372 I'm not sure if that look says "off with their heads" or "I'll take the salmon for dinner" 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6373 You have just got to stop with all the tweeting. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6374 I think he's worried about who will succeed him when he's gone. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6375 I knew we shouldn't have named her Cersei. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6376 They say he's tops in his field in marriage counselor vs. mediator. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6377 Mom said I was king of the house. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6378 I love that - it's funny 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6379 You're king of the cat-stle. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6380 I don' think we should have done it, Harold. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6381 He understands me better 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6382 It's okay, cats don't even wear clothes. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6383 What a fatcat. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6384 I just can't be vegan anymore, Henry. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6385 The righteous King! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6386 It's called ennui King Fluffy, and there's nothing we can do. Maybe spinning around chasing your tail will help. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6387 You said you were going to look for his scepter. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6388 Well honey, too bad but it's your own fault. You can't just eat your Fiddlers Three because they're mice and then regret not having music. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6389 I'm not quite sure how to put this Your Highness... We've made an appointment for you with the Royal veterinarian to have two of the royal jewels removed, if you know what I mean. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6390 She;s been like that since your mother questioned her lineage. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6391 Mouse Fondue? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6392 Brexit needs four cocktails a day 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6393 I wish to carried to my Royal Lavatory to be left there alone, and absolutely - no peeking! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6394 I'm pretty sure that's what the dead mouse means. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6395 I can bring him down a notch or two. My harp needs new strings. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6396 OK. What about as many Apple shares as you can stuff in your mouth? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6397 Was this the pre-nuptial you expressed? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6398 I'm sorry, we didn't realize you were so attached to that raggedy mouse toy but a mouse farm is just out of the question. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6399 Come back in December. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6400 We know you're disappointed Fuzzybell, but 'Mother of Kittens' just didn't have the same impact. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6401 He does resemble Donald Trump. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6402 Did you run into the neighbor's dog again? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6403 Some little token of esteem Is needed, like a dish of cream. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6404 Ever since he saw the cover of Mewsweek! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6405 I know it may sound cruel, but that's why there won't be an heir to the throne. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6406 Why do I always have to be the Royal food taster?? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6407 The agency told us there would be issues adopting the fancy feast cat. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6408 It's gone too far. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6409 Cats were worship as gods in ancient Egypt. Mittens has not forgotten this. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6410 Should we tell him that it's the LION who's considered the "King?" 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6411 He's the king of my heart... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6412 So where is the Queen? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6413 Well if he promises to use the litter box. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6414 You had no way of knowing your queen wrote for Cat Fancy Magazine! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6415 You know I support you no matter what, but I just don't think you're cut out to be a taxidermist 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6416 I know you're finicky, but you don't have to get depressed just because it's not the Iron Throne. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6417 Is that when you say 'the king is dead, long live the king!'? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6418 May we now switch roles in this king and mouse game, your royal catness? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6419 There's just one season left, sweetie. We can tolerate it. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6420 Doug, I am pretty certain the marriage counselor did not say "let your felines reign." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6421 Now I know how President Trump feels. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6422 Face it. You're an embarrassment to your species. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6423 What was the last bar you were in? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6424 I think she just misunderstood when I mentioned we're living in a kakistocracy now. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6425 Next he will be wanting a smart phone! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6426 Even though the mouse got away, you're still the King of the house in our eyes. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6427 But it's not like they show "King Rat" on TCM a lot." 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6428 Well, Puss, the store doesn't sell boots this time of year, so you will have to wait for Fall. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6429 Lester Holt: "So when did you discover your cat poops diamonds?" 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6430 I would rather have a potbellied pig 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6431 Louis the 14th with claws 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6432 Please tell us what you want. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6433 No one's trying to mercury poison you. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6434 So it's a game of cat and thrones? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6435 Yes, we know kings had someone to wipe their bottoms, but you're a cat. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6436 Look, Flea Bottom’s not real, Smokey, it’s just a TV show. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6437 We do value your needs as higher than our own needs. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6438 That's it, we're calling him "Trump." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6439 We would need to be Fat Cats to support your kingdom! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6440 Yes, we know you're the king of this castle. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6441 Sir, the Queen prefers cats to corgies now. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6442 How 'bout this: separate feeding bowls, shared litter box, you get the patio in the morning, he'll have it for two hours every evening. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6443 Felix... We need to discuss your curfew, so take that crown off your head NOW. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6444 Great idea to have chosen career over children! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6445 His Highness has deemed you acceptable as a live-in servant-you may now consider yourself as Feline Sanitation Engineer, Bedwarmer-Second Class, and Food Provider on Demand Provisional. Sharing of His Human is non-negotiable. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6446 I think it's time for a social media vacation. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6447 "Look Tom, think of it as a two-fer!" They would only get in the way anyway and without them it makes you look thinner! Win, win! 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6448 Now as King, you'll be in charge of the house finances 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6449 It's time to take us out. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6450 Sir David Attenborough says I'm a member of the cat KINGdom , hence the outfit and that means peasants I'll have my vermin sautéed and served at 6 pm sharp! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6451 Like Lear a king without a throne! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6452 ... It was a bad idea naming him Trump. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6453 Even a King couple can look at a cat. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6454 So, just when everyone started calling me the King of Beasts and then this had to happen. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6455 We're holding this intervention regarding your demand for a daily dinner of fresh, not canned tuna and shrimp... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6456 The purr seemed innocent... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6457 He thinks letting cats into the Westminster Dog Show was a really big deal 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6458 Yeah, we were worried about the cost, but we gotta let Nicole be Nicole... just going to see where this takes her. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6459 let 's change tack and call our next cat "cataract" and avoid any need for costume jewellery 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6460 Meow, meow, ennui, ennui 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6461 I hear they got their pizza recipe from Alec Baldwin. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6462 Good news, darling: Henry has abdicated the throne—and believes you should become the new King of the Cats. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6463 I still think you should use the kitty litter. Your Highness. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6464 Quit milking it, pussy. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6465 Your approval rating is at a historically low 50%... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6466 In my opinion, King Thomas sounds more royal than King Tom. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6467 Poor thing, Trump thought he was a she. His family jewels will never be the same! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6468 And we loved you so much we named out "Queenie." It's a good name, darling, but that's all it is. We are not your "liege men," and you can't order Buddy to be beheaded. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6469 Baby, you were adopted 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6470 And this "rescue" dog comes with a goldfish and a canary... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6471 Do you think we cheated him of the values he'll need to cope with life? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6472 i kinda wanna suck off this cat 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6473 Are we overindulging his 'king of the jungle' complex? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6474 It has been this way since instagram gave his account the verification badge 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6475 Today it's a reigning cat. Tomorrow, who knows? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6476 I was wondering about calling her Porphyria. What do you think? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6477 King partied too much last night with the catnip 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6478 They won't leave this King of the Cats thing alone. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6479 We'll inform the press that your 'Let them drink latte' tweet was ironic. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6480 I just wish we knew he didn't really want to be king before he accepted it. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6481 I know you think we use you as a tool of transference, but somebody's got to do it. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6482 Don't sell yourself short. Remember, a lion was supposed to have that crown. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6483 We should have used a lighter material. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6484 Should we have rethink the name Empurror Puffybottom? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6485 I know you want another belly rub, but don't you think 20 a day is a bit much? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6486 Banished? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6487 No! I did say 'glitter'. I said l-i-t-t-e-r... 'litter' 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6488 When I grow up, I can clean the litter box! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6489 He's been this way ever since he saw The Lion King 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6490 I think this cat is really starting to come between us 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6491 Only you can unbanish the laser pointer. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6492 What kind of mouse would you like tonight? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6493 How would your royal highness like his cat food prepared? Or would he prefer fish? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6494 Thanks, Rex. Now it’s your turn, Dad – what are YOU offering as a role model? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6495 I see that but what dose have to do with Trump 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6496 Can he have it back until he falls asleep? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6497 There's only room for one queen in this household. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6498 We're sorry.A retirement account is a bridge too far. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6499 We have been more than fair with you, but addressing you as "Calico of the Castle" is a definite NO. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6500 C'mon Puss, give'em another chance. He didn't mean to question your lineage. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6501 Well Kitty, your reign is coming to an end. I'm pregnant. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6502 We understand Cleo, heavy hangs the head that wears the crown. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6503 Old King-Cat-Acole Was a merry old soul, 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6504 What's wrong with trying to improve yourself? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6505 I guess cofefe finally got him. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6506 King of the Jones's 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6507 We tried, but the board vetoed your mouse pool. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6508 All he needs is a mirror 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6509 It's not you; it's him. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6510 I'm afraid the cable out, Puss. They'll no Game Of Thrones tonight. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6511 So did this kittykat have too many nips? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6512 Don't worry, feeling uneasy comes with the territory. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6513 You sound just like Mel Brooks! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6514 Winter is coming. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6515 " I wanted the Tuna in Clam sauce " ! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6516 He's so beat 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6517 For goodness sake, the Cavelier King Charles is just a dog. How 'bout we call you Queenie? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6518 We're sorry the ladies all rejected you. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6519 We have made progress, sweetheart, and I thank you for your efforts. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6520 And you wanted to get a stupid dog 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6521 Isn't it time you moved on from kitty litter? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6522 Dad, who let the king out of the bag? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6523 If you want to be a modern leader, you'll have to learn to tweet. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6524 Maybe I pamper Rex a little too much. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6525 He hasn't been the same since Lady Olenna drank that poison. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6526 He wasn't kidding when he said our dinner would be here in a flash. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6527 I don't see why you wanted a cat with a pedigree. The other type is just as nice. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6528 The doctor says his reign is terminal. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6529 I think having him fixed might have been a mistake. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6530 It seems Donald has gotten some clothes. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6531 It looks like Leo is all worn out! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6532 I think we should start making him clean his own litter box. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6533 Maybe I'd be treated like a Queen too if I slouched around like that all day only wearing a crown and fancy robe. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6534 I just detest the pizzarazzi! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6535 Meow down! 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6536 His ennui really concerns me!!! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6537 Could we borrow the car? 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6538 He says he wants to usher in an Era of Good Feline. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6539 Let them eat Purina 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6540 The neighbors just called; their cat, Clement VII, is all scratched up and they think Henry is to blame. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6541 It's entirely your choice: You don't have to sleep with her if you don't want. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6542 We bought you this ridiculous throne to boost your self esteem, but this is excessive 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6543 Mr Fizzles apologizes for nothing. Steve! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6544 We promise this will be your last shot. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6545 He may think he's king of the jungle, but really he's just king of this lousy little apartment. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6546 Gingy took the wrong sense of the word "pedigree" at the vet's today. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6547 Naming him Rex was fine, but did you have to teach him French? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6548 Ever since Trump mentioned the "P" word he tries so hard to emulate him. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6549 This is just another example of what we have been talking about. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6550 My Ex's all choked on Pizza, but I love it! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6551 i didn't expect basquiat to reincarnate as our cat... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6552 "You'll have to get him his Big Macs from now on - he just Tweeted that I was fired. ' 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6553 Fat cat is still too obvious. They will think you are being fake! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6554 It's time for some strange pussy. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6555 Mouse flambé for dinner -- again? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6556 So how do you feel about choosing mediation now? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6557 Don't worry, Felix, just tell us how you feel about it. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6558 I'm just saying, maybe the electoral college needs to be revisited. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6559 Shouldn't have let him see that movie, now its gone to his head. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6560 I think the taxidermist did a great job done. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6561 I can't believe the EU turned down Our Grace Flufflykins's offer to negotiate Brexit. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6562 This Fat Cat needs to be dethroned - not to mention declawed! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6563 Queen of Spayed. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6564 "He just keeps telling me over and over again that all he wants is a horse". 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6565 No matter what happens you will always be our little king. I'm sure the "King of Thrones" people will consider all of your selfe. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6566 L.G.B.T?? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6567 I'm beginning to think it was a mistake for us all to binge watch the Game of Thrones. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6568 Just remember - this is not a game. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6569 No slouching if you want to be on YouTube! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6570 It could be worse. Minus the feet, you'd be the King of Pain. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6571 And I thought I would be the one placed on a pedestal. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6572 No dogs. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6573 I think he's starting to realize it's a jungle out there. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6574 Get your leashes 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6575 Help us understand this sudden identity chaos. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6576 I warned you not to call her Queenie 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6577 Honey, let the groomer take care of him next time. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6578 That Access Hollywood footage just took every bit of majesty out of him. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6579 King? OK, maybe I'd feel better if you named your dog "pussy cat". 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6580 She just hasn't been the same since Lord Mittens ran away. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6581 I agree you have 9 lives, but I'm not renaming you Cersei Lannister 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6582 Do, cheer up darling..let's sing the Mozart duet.. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6583 Lady Jane Grey your 9th life is up. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6584 I told you naming him Henry was a bad idea! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6585 Your turn to scratch 'His Royal Heinie' 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6586 But you wanted to be President of the United States. 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6587 Maybe we shouldn’t have fed him grapes. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6588 Our poor dumb cat wants to imitate Trump. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6589 Would you like a chin strap? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6590 Sure, being king of the house is great, but we think it's time for you to step up and become king of the jungle. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6591 He says he doesn't want to be a King in his next 8 lives 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6592 Some cats don't have everything you have so we were just donating some of your old toys to the shelter. So you see you can still be just as happy with what you have here. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6593 It's called growing up. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6594 Feeling displaced? Why would you feel that way? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6595 Looks like the Clooneys are eating in again tonight. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6596 As we have said before - where does Sheeba sit? Anywhere Sheeba wants. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6597 Bad Mr. Mittens! Not until we hear from the College of Heralds. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6598 Do you think the cape's too small? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6599 Don't listen to the dog. You ARE King of the Jungle. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6600 Felix the Ninth, this is probably the end of your line... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6601 He may be our leader, but I'm just getting tired of the hissy-fits. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6602 He just found out that even with 9 lives, he won't live long enough to succeed Queen Elizabeth. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6603 Well, Rex and I don't think all pampering is spoiling. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6604 Didn't we ask the waiter to go light on the paparazzi? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6605 "...And then the Genie said 'Okay Donald. You wanna be a king, I'll make you a king'" ? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6606 We must be the court jesters for allowing this 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6607 They're famous for their pizza. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6608 And you're going to build a moat around his litter box, too? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6609 It's tough being head pussy in charge. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6610 Yes, we are sorry, too. But all kings can't have tiny hands. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6611 Look - this IS the strippagram. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6612 Cheer up, sire. Your strategy to distract them away from the tax return issue has gone well. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6613 We want you to take your throne and go. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6614 Ben and I are worried that an iron throne of swords would be even less comfortable. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6615 Why are you surprised that you have indigestion? If Twitter can't stop his tweets, eating the bird won't stop him. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6616 Frailty, thy name is feline. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6617 'I've gotta say, "Cats: The Musical Chairs" isn't very good." 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6618 This place really treats you like a movie star. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6619 I don't want to hear any more excuses. Lose the dog right meow. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6620 Catleesi, Winter is coming... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6621 You wasted two wishes to see the cat to be a king and have a thrown, now we have to use the last one to get rid of her. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6622 Marie Catoinette, we need to hold a catnip intervention... 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6623 Look Lebron, you are the top cat still, but Kyrie thinks he's the alpha dog...... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6624 The yelp review did say the pizza was instagram-worthy. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6625 'The Trump Method Of Empowering Pets' is becoming worrisome. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6626 We don't mind your 'holding court' every night ... but do you have to dress for it? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6627 The Vet suggested "Pamper Camp" they help obese cas recover He's not a spoiled, pampered cat he's just a little out of shape! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6628 When this Rex goes, I say we get a Maine Coon. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6629 The shift from kleptocracy to Catocracy was surprisingly subtle. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6630 Don't you think it's time you took off that stupid crown, claiming to be a descendant of the Cheshire cat and went back to chasing mice? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6631 Yeah, I did. I beat both Trump and Kim Jong Un in a pie-eating contest. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6632 I bet this looked great before it 404-ed 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6633 I told you we shouldn't name him Henry. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6634 Well at least he won't shed... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6635 The typical Leo from "King of the World" syndrome. 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6636 'Let's call the apartment Graceland.' 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6637 Em'purr'or wants us to stroke its fur! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6638 We understand that this is your 9th life, but don't you think this is a little too much? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6639 I think her new food is a little too salty. What do you think? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6640 Good try, but here the Kardashians are the aristocrats 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6641 No more HBO. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6642 Oh, alright. We’ll stand at the curb and cheer as you go by. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6643 And to think my ancestors fought in the revolutionary war to free us from royalty. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6644 He just couldn't wait to be king 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6645 Ideal choice. This one hasn't been clawed off. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6646 He wants us to purr before him. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6647 We would just like to have enough left over to have health care too. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6648 It's not that we don't support your passion. We just think you're taking the Henry VIII tribute a little too far. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6649 We bring news of plots to dethrone Your Majesty upon signs of any more poop outside the royal litter box. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6650 Mittens... we know you've been using our HBO log-in details. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6651 It must be the grain-free cat food. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6652 This is not what they meant by "Lion King". 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6653 She's not feeling purrr-fect! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6654 Just because female cats are called queens doesn't mean you're the king. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6655 White Russians don't sit well with Russian Whites. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6656 Turns out he's making a statement about the imperial presidency. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6657 Being named Henrietta doesn't make you Queen! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6658 Keep reminding yourself, "I'm a lion trapped in a cat's body." 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6659 I suppose he won't be settling for Cat Chow from now on. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6660 Sorry honey, we just didn't know how to break it to you that you aren't actually king. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6661 Do you ever feel that Kitty is kinda taking us for granted? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6662 He's a real 'Royal' you know; a 'Royal' pain in the ... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6663 You're taking this lion- thing too far." 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6664 Huh? So, where's Owl and my Beautiful Pea Green Boat? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6665 When would you like to dine? 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6666 You really think this will stop him from peeing on our couch? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6667 He's a Millennial cat. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6668 It's just that imported silk is much pricier than yarn. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6669 Look with 2020 is just around the corner so if we can get the cat lover vote...well you do the math. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6670 No, it's NOT a joke, it's my life! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6671 I can't wait for the dragon queen. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6672 But can a king who looks like a cat look at nothing? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6673 Tell us about the pillaging sire 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6674 Let's call him The Mooch. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6675 I'm sorry. He found my Instagram. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6676 We get that the chase to the throne is more exciting than ruling, but you have to work with McConnell. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6677 Why the big puss? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6678 Honey, I'm sorry, but we have to cancel our vacation... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6679 What if we promise to change your litter every day? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6680 I don't care if you're king, Fluffy-- I'm not getting you a Twitter account. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6681 Do you really think "My kingdom for more catnip" was such a great idea? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6682 Let them eat mice. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6683 Where the Wild Things Are, The Sequel: Scene 1, Take 1. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6684 We got you the throne. We got you the crown and the robe. But Fluffy dear, we're not going to call you "Rex." That's a dog's name. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6685 He's killing himself making America great again. Sad! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6686 A tonic for this cat? I don't think so. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6687 You there, bring me more chicken. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6688 It's not you, it's the reign. All cats hate the reign. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6689 Cat got your tongue? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6690 Bring me the dog, I'd like to slowly push him off the couch 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6691 I really think it's time for the monarchy to go. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6692 So stop sight your baby, and be happy again...When you're smiling! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6693 Remember when you just couldn't wait to be king? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6694 We don't mean to intrude but there's a mouse in the garage... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6695 A dog would be your subject. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6696 No, Mommy and Daddy are not going to get you more cheese right now. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6697 "It's your move". 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6698 We should have never sent you to college. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6699 He's been this way since he ate our Doberman. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6700 Seems depressed, after we took away his tweeting toy. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6701 Stop letting him purr-suade you honey 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6702 No Sugar, we can't snuff out ALL the dogs just because you want to. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6703 The vet said it is the post-modern ennui virus. He says all the cats have come down with it. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6704 ...and we don't even have to read The Little Prince to him. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6705 Sorry Prince, your reign of terror is officially over ! 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6706 Was dinner really that bad? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6707 No, the mice won't listen to us either 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6708 I guess Princess is all grown up and ready to rule. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6709 Now we have a king. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6710 Old King Cat was a very smart tom, And a very smart tom was he; He called for his bowl, and he called for his crown, And he called for his owners three 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6711 Off with Lucky's head, sire? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6712 But you said if we were really, really good we'd get our phones back today. [NOTE: If possible, today in ital] 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6713 Is the guillotine ready? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6714 Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6715 Don't turn around. It's the pizzarazzi. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6716 Catnip consumption withdrawal syndrome. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6717 But his litter box still requires attention. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6718 But he'll still use the litter box, right? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6719 And that is how I became King of the U.S. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6720 As if it was not enough to have a hot dog in our room, now they bring a cold cat king here. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6721 We do understand that even royalty gets dog-tired. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6722 He just can't stop brooding about his legacy. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6723 Burmese-y lies the head that wears the crown. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6724 BURGER KING again, Jack? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6725 I know the boots were tight, but the crown does fit. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6726 They said his cavity would require a crown 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6727 You'll be OK. I felt the same way when I got my crown. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6728 Be that as it may, we feel that even royalty shouldn't lick their private parts in front of company. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6729 I don't think fluffy's the one being trained here 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6730 There was a sale at Royal Pet 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6731 What can Tom and I do to make your life less uneasy? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6732 Fluffy's been a royal pain ever since we binge-watched "Game of Thrones." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6733 Is this some twisted joke to keep me off the couch? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6734 You still can't grab people like that. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6735 As you can see, being the King is not always what you think. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6736 Ma'am, could you consider moving the throne back to under the kitchen table? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6737 You say he's pretentious. I say he's very catty. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6738 Is it a tiara or a crown? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6739 You'll be Simba in your next Circle of Life. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6740 I love when the humans watch me sleep...they are so easily amused! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6741 where did my big plate of fish go?! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6742 I wish she'd wear underwear. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6743 King Of The Jungle seems like an unrealistic goal 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6744 And/ we're switching back to Starkist. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6745 Thank god we didn't name him 'your malevolent dictator'! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6746 You're King of the Beasts but want more? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6747 Let's name him Darnold. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6748 My Loyal Subjects, I'm Sorry to Say, You're Fired! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6749 I told you not to go to that taxidermist. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6750 ...and your new servant poodle, 'Curiosity', starts tomorrow Sire. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6751 This is too much even for a cat. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6752 I'll go get the testicle taster. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6753 So he's into "Game of Thrones" and now he wants a "Throne of Claws". 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6754 Are you sure this is a better approach than a self-help book on raising a toddler? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6755 When I said a prince of a cat, I had no idea this is what I meant 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6756 I think his thrown is too low. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6757 He's a rescue all right. One of the volunteers at our no-kill shelter found a miniature guillotine that had been poorly constructed the night before. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6758 You look hot. How about a cold micecream cone? 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6759 Maybe that vasectomy wasn't a good idea after all... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6760 And why did the taxidermist pick this costume? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6761 Sorry, Your Majesty--guess it wasn't "A cat may look like a king" after all. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6762 He's been like this ever since you gave him the canned food. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6763 Tell us about your day at Burger King. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6764 King Fluffy, when I called you 'Princess', I meant it affectionately. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6765 Of COURSE I was going to implement the Solomon option first, sweetie.. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6766 We treat you like a king, I'm just not so sure anyone else will accept your reign. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6767 He thinks he's Henry VIII. Hide the ax! 1.0000 0.04256 24 24 0 0
6768 His kitten photos went viral. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6769 Do you think he realizes he has no clothes on? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6770 But we don't have a dog, so what does it matter? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6771 I thought he would be more regal but he just wants to nap. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6772 The cat in the crown knows a lot about lying around 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6773 Joffrey has been terrorizing the neighbors again. Mrs Tyrell threatened to take matters in her own hands if he pees on her roses one more time. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6774 ...Our son has two parents who love him very much and for his sake we want to keep this situation as private as possible moving forward. We still have love for each other and will always cherish our time together. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6775 Your father and I think that conversion therapy would be helpful. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6776 He's been watching The Borgia. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6777 I'm sorry but the budgie has staged a coup and says that you have 24 hours to get out. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6778 This is what you get for naming me Rex. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6779 We tried our best in our middle class but it doesn't seem to be working. 1.0000 0.03922 26 26 0 0
6780 You gave him "King's Cat Food," huh? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6781 He was playing King of the Castle with the dog, but there were a lot of mice in the Keep. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6782 We tried a regular litter box. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6783 Maybe Louis Catorce isn't such a great name after all. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6784 I think maybe it's time we get a cat scan. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6785 I didn't know it was going to be this much work. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6786 I think we should send him to a castle. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6787 Do you wonder if we should have gotten a dog instead? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6788 I never saw this coming! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6789 Oh, Cat King, answer my plea, get those dirty rats away from me. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6790 There is no divine right to consistently miss the litter box... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6791 I thought it was a just friendly game of checkers. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6792 Of course she's beautiful, but your father and I find your obsession with Cersei just a bit unsettling. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6793 He seems to have mastered the keep calm bit, but hasn't quite figured out how to carry on. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6794 He's been this way since Game Of Thrones went on without him. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6795 So I said, "Kiss the ring, bitch." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6796 The cat has taken this 'Game of Thrones' thing too far. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6797 We really need to talk about the new baby. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6798 But we do have visas! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6799 Something to do with Guinevere? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6800 Sure, we feed you from cans and clean your poop, but you're otherwise totally regal. Oh, and the hairballs. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6801 We shall cut the dog down the middle! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6802 How did this happen to our lives? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6803 I'm afraid we are spoiling Emperor Maximillian. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6804 No, it's pronounced "Muller", not "Mew-ler", so you shouldn't expect a 'Gentleman's Pass'. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6805 He thinks he was "Tudored." 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6806 I know YouTube made you the breadwinner here, but we need to talk. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6807 Bob and I will find you some help. If we told you once, we have told you a hundred times, margarine is not good for you! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6808 Don't beat yourself up about it. How were you to know King Buddy would send a mouse as an ambassador? I mean, who does that? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6809 So did Trump issue crowns to ALL fat cats? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6810 As you ordered , your litter box has been gilded in gold. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6811 I guess we've been watching too much Game of Thrones... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6812 This isn't over. I'm calling your agent in the morning to see if they will consider changing the part from a lion to a house cat! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6813 Simply, I auditioned for the part and they loved me. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6814 Henry, sadly, we must beseech you to eat a more plant-based diet. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6815 I told you naming him Simba was a bad idea. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6816 OK, what did you wish for this time? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6817 You're gonna need a bigger throne. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6818 He was kicked out of the contest to become king of the jungle. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6819 Dr My cat is suffering from a superiority complex 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6820 It looks like the king is dead 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6821 I have no idea what happened to all that Imperial Margarine I left out on the counter 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6822 No matter how much you stare at it, it's still weird! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6823 Who would be in your small council? Your grace. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6824 He thinks "kitty litter" is a form of transport. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6825 Honey, I didn't think they meant "Cat's Palace" literally! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6826 Doggone it. I knew we should have named him Fido. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6827 Uneasy lies the head that takes over the whole damn house! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6828 I told you Mittens was not a strong name! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6829 On with the royal hair ball! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6830 But sweetheart, you are the real king of our urban jungle 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6831 She ate Bingo, now it's just reigning cats. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6832 It's her Memory. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6833 This is just how I pictured it. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6834 But, be forewarned, your Grace - White Walkers are approaching from beyond the wall. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6835 Hemophilia cat? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6836 Looks like the Pot Nips are a Go! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6837 I've heard about orange tabbies. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6838 Seventh or eighth life? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6839 Is the crown tall enough? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6840 Let's face it, we've lost friends who were just jealous that our Fluffy is feline royalty. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6841 Frank: Now all he needs is a keyboard… Nancy: Why? Frank: Cat King Cole 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6842 No, I’m not mourning the kids moving out. I’m just practicing for grand kids. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6843 What can we do to help? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6844 Perhaps we shouldn't have spoiled you so much when you were a kitten but all we're asking now is that you help out a bit with the mice. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6845 It's good to be the king... of cats. 1.0000 0.03279 31 31 0 0
6846 You were supposed to give me the royal treatment! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6847 That's not what I meant when I said you should treat my pussy like royalty, Tom! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6848 I knew it would happen one day, watching too many cat food commercials finally contributed to His Majesty's sense of entitlement. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6849 John Adams, I know him; that can't be; he's that little cat that spoke to me 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6850 His litter box got an upgrade. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6851 If you are feeling stressed, we can always get you a bigger throne. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6852 She says she only wants to be referred to as "The Royal Purrr-incess" from now on. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6853 My first executive order is: we're having cat yummies again. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6854 I'll tell you what I need when I need it. So don't leave. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6855 Bring me Fido's head on a stick. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6856 their pizza is famous 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6857 i am not sure your combination of kitty litter and royal throne works for him 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6858 Puss and Dupes 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6859 Oh Covfefe, we thought you wanted to be 'King of the World'. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6860 Did mom at least try to explain this to you? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6861 Honey we think of you as a lion. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6862 Our Orange Tabby has a comb-over under the crown... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6863 We warned you--it's a jungle out there. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6864 It happens sometimes when you trap, neuter, and don't return to the colonies. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6865 I told you he wanted the "scepter"! 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6866 Animal Planet was speaking generically. You're still the real King. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6867 He say's he's leaving us because he's bored. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6868 Garfield called to say you are the greatest king ever! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6869 My analyst suggested a sex-change for Henrietta. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6870 King my ass! You're just a cat. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6871 He requests his chief-of-staff to be a general AND a billionaire. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6872 She thinks she is King Trump! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6873 He said he just wants to go back to being a tomcat. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6874 What did I do to deserve being the one chosen for royalty? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6875 I guess I do indulge him a little. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6876 Ironic, his for us orange. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6877 They call her the crazy people lady. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6878 We need to give the cat a tonic. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6879 We're still not tipping him. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6880 He's deciding if his command is 'errnt' or 'Meow.' 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6881 At least we don't have to splurge on his haircuts... 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6882 We should have sprung for sable. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6883 I'm afraid he's right, Fluffy - all of the tuna comes from a can. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6884 Never should have named him 'Henry the 8th'. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6885 Sorry you lost your twitter privileges. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6886 What Happened 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6887 All we're saying is, we think you're taking this King of the Castle business a little too far. We already clean your litter box three times a day. So the answer is 'No, we're not adding 'Girls Gone Wild' to your cable TV. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6888 Think of it as "adding a new subject"... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6889 We are a cat more sinned against than sinning... 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6890 Well, to quote your favorite show, Game of Thrones, "You look a lot better brooding than I do." 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6891 I think I'm done with this taxidermist! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6892 Does "Your Majesty" need a treat? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6893 You're going to grab them by the what? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6894 So if she had spent more time in Michigan. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6895 A twenty percent approval rating with sewer rats isn't bad, considering they're your base and your dinner. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6896 Who do you think could have possibly thrown her? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6897 The only trick he knows is successfully running a pyramid scheme. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6898 I told you that naming him 'King' was a lousy idea. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6899 He says we should address him as "The Donald". 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6900 Kitty litter 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6901 They said it's Twitter withdrawal. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6902 We'll get rid of the dog if you'll stop tweeting. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6903 He says will can still scratch his belly 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6904 I promised you'd stop the leaks but he doesn't believe me. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6905 Give him wet food once, and... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6906 This is no time for a hissy fit your Grace. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6907 They are so entitled these days. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6908 Well, it definitely wasn't me... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6909 ..."the jungle...not the house" ! 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6910 Well, you have been treating him like he was king of the house. What other kind of attitude did you expect? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6911 I told you this beats the baby Dalai Lama. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6912 I think that "King of the Sea" tuna we started buying for you, is going to your head! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6913 I told you the sign, 'Free Kittens', was totally untrue, that pets cost a great deal, but I wasn't prepared for this. 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6914 Next time let's not use Trump's taxidermist. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6915 It's good to be the King !!! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6916 Since you didn't listen to listen to us on how many marshmallow mice are OK to eat, can we at least ask the Cat King to locate and plan to use the "royal" letterbox? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6917 Bad news, Matt. My Fat Cat sat on your white rat and squashed it flat. Sorry about that. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6918 I'm thinking we should have named him something other than Henry the 8th. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6919 Its OK, relax, the robe is in a better place now. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6920 He's devastated. The other dancers won't perform unless a mouse is named to play the "Mouse King." 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6921 They said you could look at one, not be one. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6922 Yep, the cat can look like a king. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6923 Chris and Emma chose a pet over parenthood and lived happily ever after 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6924 Everything about you is precedential, and we think you'll do great in the White House. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6925 You should know it's true. You do have an older brother. He ran away years ago chasing some tramp, but now he's back and he is asking about the rules of succession. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6926 Can we tell our master that he needs a diet? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6927 Shall we name him Donald? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6928 But will the 99 percent be content to eat cream? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6929 Are you telling me we are out of food? Off with your head! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6930 Don't take it personally. Insurrections are just part of the job. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6931 The cat sitter was binge watching " The Game of Thrones". 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6932 I told you I didn't want to watch "The Wizard of Oz." 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6933 We're sorry freckles, but we will not be ordering you the rodent guillotine. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6934 You know, sweetie, some things just aren't all they're cracked up to be. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6935 Cat issues proclaimation for , " Dogless days of Summer". 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6936 Henry the Eighth I may not be, but I demand your obedience nevertheless 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6937 While Jack and I were very much looking forward to our vacation in Aruba, I suppose... 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6938 I told you that cat food would go to his head. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6939 Your constituency is not what it used to be. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6940 Shall I get you another mouse, Sire? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6941 Think he's just hungry? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6942 Catachresis Cat Scan. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6943 He really is the alpha male 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6944 Downsizing becoming reality. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6945 Maybe with a bucket a chicken. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6946 If it makes you feel any better, we executed all those pesky red dots. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6947 Now that you made it to the big top, what's next? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6948 ''It just shows the importance of a name. I guess we never should have called him Trump.'' 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6949 I just don't think he's going to be happy until the Knights in Armor get back from their battles. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6950 I told him to leave, but I can't bear to grab him by anything. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6951 I warned you about calling him Rex. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6952 I should never have let you name him Trump. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6953 Fired 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6954 All hail the feline queen! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6955 This is for which birthday party? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6956 Poor Brexit. Do you think he'll survive. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6957 Fuck, dude, look at this cat. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6958 We are so, so sorry. We had no idea there was such a difference between Fancy Feast and Fancy Fest. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6959 Should I order 1 or 2 mousetraps on Amazon Prime? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6960 Have you considered abdicating the throne? 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6961 Your highest, we are not worthy. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6962 Tell me, Your Majesty, why you'd rather be the cat's meow than king. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6963 Don't tell me. Royal Canin for cats was on sale at Amazon. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6964 This is what you get when you named him Donald! 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6965 He's binge watching Thrones again. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6966 I was hoping for a more subtle memorial. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6967 He's bummed he's no outdoor king. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6968 Sometmes the mouse gets the cat. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6969 I told you college would change Suzy. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6970 We shouldn't have moved. Now he thinks he's the King of Queens. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6971 The ogre really isn't sitting well, is he? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6972 Yes, he voted for 'Trump' too! 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6973 That's the big inheritance? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6974 Suck it up, King Kitty. You still have three lives to go after this one. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6975 We should have let him have one litter. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6976 He only eats King Chow now. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6977 We understand it is your decree, King Whiskers, but we are not decapitating Snow Ball. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6978 Ironic, his for us orange. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6979 I said cater "fish" to my every need 1.0000 0.04082 25 25 0 0
6980 I'm really just not sure anymore. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6981 We know, it's not easy being King. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6982 Since the brain transplant, the country has been purring..... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6983 Well, it's a start... 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6984 Did you forget to clean His Majesty's box today? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6985 I'm afraid this kingdom just isn't functioning. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6986 Why did we have to name him Joffrey? 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6987 Would you like us to take our shoes off while you're napping? 1.0000 0.04446 23 23 0 0
6988 I knew we shouldn't have named him King Arthur. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6989 The results from your scan are in .. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6990 You don't seem to understand. You can't just hang out and do nothing but reign. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6991 ....Then it's an hour with a ball of wool, 1/2 hour licking yourself and your day ends with a buffet of tuna and creme anglaise.... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6992 Maybe he identifies more as a CEO . . . 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6993 Oh, honey, maybe cosplay just isn't a fit for you. 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6994 You are invited to the premiere of another new-open broadway show theater. 1.0000 0.05130 20 20 0 0
6995 Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown... 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0
6996 I know he's a German Rex, but who knew he would take it so literally? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6997 If he could learn how to golf who knows? 2020? 1.0000 0.04652 22 22 0 0
6998 Your French is horrible. 1.0000 0.04880 21 21 0 0